Uncle Vanya Ouch!</poem> After a major zombie outbreak on the island of Oʻahu, a television network has turned Kennedy Theatre into a studio for their new reality show "Theatre Masterpieces and Zombies". The major challenge for the contestants on this show is to survive their performance of a classic play while fending off zombies released onto the stage by the popular host. After the success of last month's "The Tempest and Zombies", tonight's show will feature a classic example of Russian Realism, Anton Chekhov's "Uncle Vanya" (1897). "Uncle Vanya and Zombies" premiered in November 2012 at Kennedy Theatre in Honolulu. Over the
Uncle Vanya act opens, a few hours later, Marina and Telegin wind wool and discuss the planned departure of Serebryakov and Yelena. When Vanya and Astrov enter, Astrov says that in this district only he and Vanya were "decent, cultured men" and that ten years of "narrow-minded life" have made them vulgar. Vanya has stolen a vial of Astrov’s morphine, presumably to commit suicide; Sonya and Astrov beg him to return the narcotic, which he eventually does. Yelena and Serebryakov bid everyone farewell. When Yelena says goodbye to Astrov, she admits to having been carried away by him, embraces him, and takes