Bereavement in Judaism as Rosh Hashanah, cancel the mourning period completely. The thirty-day period following burial (including "shiva") is known as "shloshim" (). During "shloshim", a mourner is forbidden to marry or to attend a "seudat mitzvah" (religious festive meal). Men do not shave or get haircuts during this time. Since Judaism teaches that a deceased person can still benefit from the merit of "mitzvot" (commandments) performed in their memory, it is considered a special privilege to bring merit to the departed by learning Torah in their name. A popular custom is to coordinate a group of people who will jointly study the
Bar and Bat Mitzvah to maintain the rule that it was a smaller celebration than a wedding. Bar and bat mitzvah parties in America are often lavish affairs held at hotels and country clubs with hundreds of guests. The trend has been mocked, most notably in the movie "Keeping Up with the Steins". In the 1950s, Rabbi Harold Saperstein of New York described them as too often being "more bar than mitzvah". Rabbi Shmuley Boteach says that over-the-top bar mitzvah parties were already common when he was growing up in Miami in the 1970s. In 1979, the Responsa Committee of the Central Conference of