Corporal Punishment (Blackadder) didn't get any messages, and Captain Blackadder definitely did not shoot that delicious plump-breasted pigeon."). Finally, there are pigeon feathers on the floor, which Captain Darling and Melchett believe to be white. But after Baldrick points out that the feathers are "speckly," Melchett is enraged, as it was his beloved pet pigeon Speckled Jim, and tries to strike Blackadder, forcing Darling to physically restrain Melchett. Smugly, Darling then informs Blackadder that he's under arrest and, if found guilty at court-martial, he will face execution by firing squad. Blackadder sends for Sir Bob Massingbird (originally scripted as "Robert Moxon Browne"), a
Captain Cook (Blackadder) Germans is imminent, one which they will likely not survive. Baldrick suggests that they take up cooking at HQ to get out of the assault but Blackadder shoots down the idea, knowing Baldrick is the worst cook in the world: his cream custard, for instance, is really just cat's vomit. Shortly afterwards, Blackadder is called to the office of General Melchett for a special mission: Field Marshal Haig's supreme tactical plan (where the men climb out of their trenches and walk slowly towards the enemy...a plan they've used 18 times before) is weakening the men's morale and he is in