Goodbyeee stupid and unhygienic Private Baldrick (Tony Robinson), and the overly optimistic, upper-class and equally idiotic Lieutenant George St Barleigh (Hugh Laurie)—Blackadder tries constantly to escape his position and avoid the "big push", which he fears will result in his death. His efforts are hindered by the loud and intimidating General Melchett (Stephen Fry) and Melchett's strict, sardonic, and jobsworth staff officer, Captain Darling (Tim McInnerny). Captain Blackadder's trench receives a phone call from HQ: a full-scale attack has been ordered for the next day at dawn. Realising that this is likely to mean his death, Blackadder plans to escape by
Captain Cook (Blackadder) a dead nun in a ruined French village. When Melchett and Captain Darling arrive to inspect their work, Blackadder displays his own painting "War" in place of George's. The General rejects it; George tries to protest, but he and Baldrick are only to speak when given permission by Blackadder, which the Captain refuses to grant. The next painting, Baldrick's "My Family and Other Animals", shows vomit and is rejected by Melchett as well. Blackadder proceeds to take credit for George's painting, earning himself the position of war artist. Melchett then reveals that the "King and Country" cover story was just