Headline News (song) the issues. While the original song's verses each told the story of three abnormal children, each verse of "Headline News" tells the story of three famous tabloid stories of 1993 and 1994: the American delinquent Michael Fay being caned in Singapore, figure skater Tonya Harding's ex-husband attacking her rival Nancy Kerrigan, and Lorena Bobbitt severing her husband's penis with a knife. (In this last verse, Yankovic substitutes the term "penis" with euphemisms like "wiener" and "Mr. Happy".) Yankovic later joked that he "wanted to write a song about these people because [he didn't] think they're getting quite enough media attention",
I, Tonya locate Nancy Kerrigan's training arena and her practice times. Eckardt hires two inept crooks to attack Kerrigan after a practice session in Detroit. On January 6, 1994, Eckardt’s henchmen strike Kerrigan's knee; she cannot compete at the next day's National competition. The hired henchmen are arrested. Eckardt's bragging quickly leads the FBI to him. He points the finger at Jeff, who is horrified to learn that Eckardt gave orders beyond sending the letters. Tonya qualifies for the Olympic team and is in turn horrified by Jeff, realizing that she will be found guilty by association. She goes to the FBI