Jesus Was Way Cool Jesus Was Way Cool "Jesus Was Way Cool" is a song by avant-garde band King Missile. It appears on the band's 1990 album "Mystical Shit." In "Jesus Was Way Cool," frontman John S. Hall, over a simple piano figure, delivers a deadpan monologue in which he declares Jesus "way cool" for such skills as healing, walking on water, and turning water into wine. Hall states that Jesus did "anything he wanted to do," and could have surpassed the achievements of Jimi Hendrix, Wayne Gretzky, and Mikhail Baryshnikov in their respective fields. Hall then postulates that the crucifixion of Jesus was
The Gospel According to Jesus Christ receives a premonition of the birth of the "King of the Jews" (in the biblical account of Matthew, he is informed by the Magi; in the book, however, he is visited in his dreams by the prophet Micah). He orders the Massacre of the Innocents. Jesus survives, but his father, Joseph, who has learned of the plan, neglects to warn the other families in the village, ensuring that his son is safe first, and is plagued by nightmares for the rest of his life. Later, when Jesus turns thirteen, Joseph is crucified by the Romans who mistakenly think him to