A Song for Europe (Father Ted) have plans to enter a song. Ted decides that if Dick Byrne can write a song, he and Dougal can write a better one. After working all night, they come up with "My Lovely Horse", a tuneless dirge with ridiculous lyrics lasting less than a minute. After trying the song out on Mrs Doyle and Father Jack, Jack is so infuriated he shoots Ted's guitar. Disillusioned, they are about to give up when Ted discovers the lyrics fit a tune by "Nin Huguen and the Huguenotes", an obscure B-side for an entry from Norway's Eurosong preselection from the 1970s. Ted
Are You Right There Father Ted? already placed the collection on full display by the time Ted and Dougal return – with the Chinese people – to the house for a nightcap. In utter desperation, Ted sends more alcohol to the Yin family the following day: unfortunately, Father Jack intervenes by emerging in an SS uniform from a box, having drunk all the liquor. Father Jack spends practically the entire episode in small spaces, including inside a grandfather clock, which leads Ted to assume Jack is agoraphobic, which Dougal thinks is a fear of fighting, likely because he misheard "agora" as "aggro". In the book "Father