Think Fast, Father Ted Think Fast, Father Ted "Think Fast, Father Ted" is the second episode of the second series of the Channel 4 sitcom "Father Ted". The title is a play on the novel "Think Fast, Mr. Moto" by John P. Marquand, and the film of the same title starring Peter Lorre. The parochial house has a leak, which happens to be over Jack's head. Ted and Dougal move him, only to have another leak start over Jack's new position. Ted decides to hold a raffle to raise money for the roof. He calls Bishop Brennan and secures permission to raffle a blue
Are You Right There Father Ted? looks out the window and sees a family of three Chinese people watching him. He is horrified, and tells Dougal that he will catch up with them and explain that he is not a racist. But by the time he leaves the house, rumours that Ted is a racist are already flying all over Craggy Island; most of his honest attempts to prove otherwise are blighted either by incongruous objects or downright ill luck. At one point, he is seen standing behind a window with a perfectly square bit of black dirt on it, thus appearing to give him a