Think Fast, Father Ted Think Fast, Father Ted "Think Fast, Father Ted" is the second episode of the second series of the Channel 4 sitcom "Father Ted". The title is a play on the novel "Think Fast, Mr. Moto" by John P. Marquand, and the film of the same title starring Peter Lorre. The parochial house has a leak, which happens to be over Jack's head. Ted and Dougal move him, only to have another leak start over Jack's new position. Ted decides to hold a raffle to raise money for the roof. He calls Bishop Brennan and secures permission to raffle a blue
The Mainland (Father Ted) their fees of £200, or they would have to stay in jail overnight. Ted is initially ready to let them stay, but mis-interpretes Dougal's sign that his trousers' zipper was undone as directing him to the winnings he collected earlier, and Ted pays for their release. They return to Craggy Island, with Ted announcing they will never go to the mainland again. Sometime later, Wilson is bike-riding across Craggy Island, and gets lost. He goes to the parish house to get directions, and when Ted answers the door, he utters "I don't believe it!" The Mainland (Father Ted) "The Mainland"