A Song for Europe (Father Ted) have plans to enter a song. Ted decides that if Dick Byrne can write a song, he and Dougal can write a better one. After working all night, they come up with "My Lovely Horse", a tuneless dirge with ridiculous lyrics lasting less than a minute. After trying the song out on Mrs Doyle and Father Jack, Jack is so infuriated he shoots Ted's guitar. Disillusioned, they are about to give up when Ted discovers the lyrics fit a tune by "Nin Huguen and the Huguenotes", an obscure B-side for an entry from Norway's Eurosong preselection from the 1970s. Ted
Are You Right There Father Ted? looks out the window and sees a family of three Chinese people watching him. He is horrified, and tells Dougal that he will catch up with them and explain that he is not a racist. But by the time he leaves the house, rumours that Ted is a racist are already flying all over Craggy Island; most of his honest attempts to prove otherwise are blighted either by incongruous objects or downright ill luck. At one point, he is seen standing behind a window with a perfectly square bit of black dirt on it, thus appearing to give him a