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Letting your car idle isn't actively bad for the drive train, but it certainly does put strain on the engine, additionally engaging the AC will put the engine under load, and work the engine harder even though you're not driving anywhere.
In your case, you likely have an issue with the ratio of air/oxygen to fuel. It sounds like the car starts and runs fine but when you stop, it is not able to keep the air/fuel mixture correct at the engine's idle speed. There are many components which might cause this and if you have a car that was produced after 2000, you likely have an onboard computer which tracks many sensors to try to warn you of issues.