From my perch on the engine cover of a special operations gunboat, I can see the source of this weird racket--someone on one of the other boats gliding down Kentucky's Salt River is firing a minigun into the woods. Every second, hundreds of 7.62 mm bullets pour out of the spinning machine-gun barrels.
Cetyl and stearyl alcohol, both typically used in hair conditioners, work together and separately with other ingredients to make hair softer and silkier after a washing. Fatty alcohols make up part of the base of the conditioner formula.
Cetearyl alcohol is the name that you have to use on an ingredient list but it is usually referred to as cetostearyl alcohol. No safety concerns have ever been raised with this material and it is so easily made that it is a very cost effective material in most applications.