Detroit Pistons. (Last title: 2004) You sense this team is starting to put a plan back together again, and, frankly, their title is too fresh (the most tortured team on this list that has a title this century) to go much lower.
Federal Programs. U.S. Department of the Treasury, Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms. The Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms (ATF) is a law enforcement agency within the U.S. Department of the Treasury that enforces Federal laws and regulations relating to alcohol, tobacco, firearms, explosives, and arson.
ATF is more funner. You will probably have experience in the coast guard to make you marketable to DEA. FBI has a reputation for pigeonholing agents. (Tend to spend their career doing the same thing, or rarely change).