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The birthday rule is a common claims practice health insurance companies use when children are listed as dependents on two parents' group health plans. The rule helps determine which health plan is the primary policy and which is secondary so that total coverage does not exceed 100 percent of charges.
When is your birthday is correct; everyone who has ever had a birthday party knows what a birthday is. But as Quora User points out, it's okay to ask what is your birth date (or birth month or birth year). The structure seems the same, but you are asking for a particular value for the date.