Elephant Soup
["1 large elephant (African is best)", "600 gal. hot water", "4 pecks onions, finely chopped", "2 bushels potatoes, peeled and sliced", "4 shovels salt", "2 shovels white pepper", "24 bottles Worcestershire sauce", "15 bottles rum (or more if cooking time is longer)", "Coke to taste", "8 qt. peanut oil (optional)"]
["Mix 1 1/2 ounces rum with Coke; drink. Wash and dry elephant (don't use shampoo as this will spoil flavor).", "Chop into bite-size chunks. In back of 1 ton truck and trailer, pour hot water. Immediately seal all cracks to prevent leaks. Have another rum and Coke; add elephant, potatoes and other ingredients. Allow to simmer."]
["onions", "potatoes", "shovels salt", "shovels white pepper", "Worcestershire sauce", "bottles", "peanut oil"]