Tolan was born in Detroit, Michigan on November 27, 1925. He was educated at Wayne State University and at Staford University. He was married to Carol Hume until they divorced. He was married to Rosemary Forsyth from 1966 until they divorced in 1975. He was partners with Donna Peck until his death. He had two children with Hume and one with Forsyth. 