THE NEW NEWLYWEDGAME  submitted by MeanBabaJean  This couple had only been married for two weeks.
The husband, although very  much in love, couldn't wait to go out into town and party with his old  buddies, so he says to his new wife, "Honey, I'll be right back..."?
"Where are you going Coochy Cooh...?"
asked the wife.?
"I'm going to the bar, Pretty Face.
I'm going to have a beer."?
The wife says to him, "You want a beer my love?"
Then she opens the door to  the refrigerator and shows him 25 different kinds of beer brands from 12  different countries: Germany, Holland, Japan, India, etc.?
The husband doesn't know what to do, and the only thing that he can think of  saying is, "Yes, Honey Pie...but the bar you know...the frozen glass..."?
He didn't get to finish the sentence, when the wife interrupts him by  saying,"You want a frozen glass Puppy Face?"
She takes a mug out of the  freezer so frozen that she was getting chills holding it.?
The husband, looking a bit pale, says, "Yes, Tootsie Roll, but at the bar  they have those hors d'oeuvres that are really delicious...
I won't be long  I'll be right back.
I promise.
OK?"?
"You want hors d'oeuvres Pookie Pooh?"
She opens the oven and takes out 15  dishes of different hors d'oeuvres: chicken wings, pigs in a blanket,  mushroom caps, pork strips, etc.?
"But Sweetie, Honey...at the bar...you know...the swearing, the dirty words  and all that.
.."?
"You want dirty words Cutie Pie?..HERE, DRINK YOUR F*****G BEER IN YOUR  FROZEN F*****G MUG AND EAT YOUR F*****G SNACKS, BECAUSE YOU AREN'T GOING  ANYWHERE!
GOT IT A*****E?!!"
Subject: FW: Fw: HER BALLONS        A small boy walks into his mother's room and catches her topless.
"Mummy, Mummy, what are those?"
he says pointing to her breasts.
"Well, son,"she says, These are balloons, and when you die, they inflate and float     you up to heaven," Incredibly, he appears to believe this explanation and goes     off quite satisfied.
Two days later while his mother is making tea, he rushes into the kitchen.
"Mummy, mummy, Aunt Eliza is dying!"
"What do you mean?"
says his     mother.
"Well she's out in the garden shed, lying on the floor with both of     her balloons out.
Dad's trying to blow themup for her and she keeps yelling, "God, I'm coming!
God, I'm coming!"

today's joke
THE NEW NEWLYWEDGAME submitted by MeanBabaJean This couple had only been married for two weeks.
The husband, although very much in love, couldn't wait to go out into town and party with his old buddies, so he says to his new wife, "Honey, I'll be right back..."?
"Where are you going Coochy Cooh...?"
asked the wife.?
"I'm going to the bar, Pretty Face.
I'm going to have a beer."?
The wife says to him, "You want a beer my love?"
Then she opens the door to the refrigerator and shows him <NUMBER> different kinds of beer brands from <NUMBER> different countries: Germany, Holland, Japan, India, etc.?
The husband doesn't know what to do, and the only thing that he can think of saying is, "Yes, Honey Pie...but the bar you know...the frozen glass..."?
He didn't get to finish the sentence, when the wife interrupts him by saying,"You want a frozen glass Puppy Face?"
She takes a mug out of the freezer so frozen that she was getting chills holding it.?
The husband, looking a bit pale, says, "Yes, Tootsie Roll, but at the bar they have those hors d'oeuvres that are really delicious...
I won't be long I'll be right back.
I promise.
OK?"?
"You want hors d'oeuvres Pookie Pooh?"
She opens the oven and takes out <NUMBER> dishes of different hors d'oeuvres: chicken wings, pigs in a blanket, mushroom caps, pork strips, etc.?
"But Sweetie, Honey...at the bar...you know...the swearing, the dirty words and all that.
.."?
"You want dirty words Cutie Pie?..HERE, DRINK YOUR F*****G BEER IN YOUR FROZEN F*****G MUG AND EAT YOUR F*****G SNACKS, BECAUSE YOU AREN'T GOING ANYWHERE!
GOT IT A*****E?!!"
Subject: FW: Fw: HER BALLONS A small boy walks into his mother's room and catches her topless.
"Mummy, Mummy, what are those?"
he says pointing to her breasts.
"Well, son,"she says, These are balloons, and when you die, they inflate and float you up to heaven," Incredibly, he appears to believe this explanation and goes off quite satisfied.
Two days later while his mother is making tea, he rushes into the kitchen.
"Mummy, mummy, Aunt Eliza is dying!"
"What do you mean?"
says his mother.
"Well she's out in the garden shed, lying on the floor with both of her balloons out.
Dad's trying to blow themup for her and she keeps yelling, "God, I'm coming!
God, I'm coming!"
different countries germany new newlywedgame themup keeps yelling making tea rushes small boy walks believe explanation aunt eliza dying bar pretty face door refrigerator pork strips