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[Assistant] They were arguing about whether or not Shakespeare really wrote Shakespeare's plays. One of the boys, the fat one with the sweaty face, said that Marlow wrote all of Shakespeare's plays. But Lenny, the short kid with the dark glasses, didn't believe that business about Marlow.


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[Assistant] Because Shakespeare had never been to college and never had the education that shows up in those plays.


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[Assistant] That's when the one with the freshman beanie said he had heard a couple of guys in the men's room talking about how Shakespeare's plays were really written by a lady.


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[Assistant] And they talked about politics and art and God.


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[Assistant] I never before heard anyone say that there might not be a God. That frightened me because for the first time I began to think about what God means. Now I understand.


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[Assistant] Is to learn that the things you believed in all your life aren't true and that nothing is what it appears to be. All the time they talked and argued, I felt the excitement bubble up inside me. This was what I wanted to do.


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[Assistant] Go to college and hear people talk about important things. I spend most of my free time at the library now, reading and soaking up what I can from books. I'm not concentrating on anything in particular, just reading a lot of fiction now. Dostoevsky, Flaubert.


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[Assistant] My first school before they transferred me to PS222.


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[Assistant] She was trying to scratch the teacher, but dad was holding her back. He'll go to college someday! He'll be somebody!


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[Assistant] She kept screaming at, clawing at dad so that he'd let go of her. He'll go to college someday and he'll be somebody!


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[Assistant] We were in the principal's office and there were a lot of people looking embarrassed, but the assistant principal was smiling and turning his head so no one would see it. The principal in my dream had a long beard and was floating around the room and pointing at me. He'll have to go to a special school.


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[Assistant] But her big red teardrops kept splashing down on me. This morning I could recall the dream, but now there's more than that. I can remember through the blur, back to when I was six years old and it all happened, just before Norma was born.


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[Assistant] I see mom, a thin, dark-haired woman who talks too fast and uses her hands too much. As always, her face is blurred. Her hair is up in a bun and her hand goes to touch it, pat it smooth as if she has to make sure it's still there.


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[Assistant] Turns the ring so they wind and unwind in bright spinning flashes. He spends long hours watching his spinner. I don't know who made it for him or what became of it, but I see him standing there fascinated as the string untwists and sets the ring spinning.


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[Assistant] She's screaming at him. No, she's screaming at his father. I'm not gonna take him! There's nothing wrong with him!


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[Assistant] And Charlie smiles and holds it up to show him how pretty it is when it goes around and around. Put that thing away! Mom shrieks and suddenly she knocks the spinner from Charlie's hand and it crashes across the kitchen floor. Go play with your alphabet blocks! He stands there, frightened by the sudden outburst. He cowers, not knowing what she'll do. His body begins to shake. They're arguing.


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[Assistant] And the voices back and forth make a squeezing pressure inside him, and a sense of panic.


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[Assistant] Charlie, go to the bathroom. Don't you dare do it in your pants. He wants to obey her, but his legs are too soft to move. His arms go up automatically to ward off blows. For God's sake, Rose, leave him alone.


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[Assistant] You've got him terrified. You always do this, and the poor kid, then why don't you help me? I have to do it all by myself.


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[Assistant] Every day I try to teach him to help him catch up to the others. He's just slow, that's all. But he can learn like everyone else.


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[Assistant] You're fooling yourself, Rose. It's not fair to us or to him. Pretending he's normal.


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[Assistant] Driving him as if he were an animal that could learn to do tricks. Why don't you just leave him alone? Because I want him to be like everyone else. As they argue.


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[Assistant] If he has his spinner and he watches it going round and round, he will be able to control himself and not make in his pants.


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[Assistant] But the spinner is all apart with some of the rings under the table and some under the sink and the cord is near the stove. It is very strange that although I can recall the voices clearly, their faces are still blurred and I can see only general outlines. Dad massive and slumped, mom thin and quick. Hearing them now arguing with each other across the years, I have the impulse to shout at them. Look at him.


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[Assistant] Charlie stands clutching and pulling at his red checkered shirt as they argue over him. The words are angry sparks between them, an anger and a guilt he can't identify. Next September?


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[Assistant] He's going to go back to PS13 and do the terms work over again. Why can't you let yourself see the truth?


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[Assistant] Let us start with me again and I'll do more than just write to the board of education. I'll scratch that dirty slut's eyes out. Charlie, why are you twisting like that? Go to the bathroom. Go by yourself. You know how to go. Can't you see he wants you to take him? He's frightened. Keep out of this. He's perfectly capable of going to the bathroom himself. The book says it gives him confidence and a feeling of achievement.


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[Assistant] I warn you, if you make in your pants, you'll get spanked. I can almost feel it now. The stretching and nodding in his intestines as the two of them stand over him waiting to see what he will do. His whimper becomes a soft crying as suddenly he can control no longer and he sobs and covers his face with his hands as he dirties himself. It is soft and warm.


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[Assistant] And he feels the confusion of relief and fear. It is his, but she will take it away from him as she always does. She will take it away and keep it for herself and she'll spank him. She comes toward him screaming that he is a bad boy and Charlie runs to his father for help.


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[Assistant] Suddenly, I remember that her name is Rose, and his name is Matt. It's odd to have forgotten your parents' names. And what about Norma? Strange, I haven't thought about them all for a long time. I wish I could see Matt's face now, to know what he was thinking at that moment. All I remember is that as she began to spank me, Matt Gordon turned.


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[Assistant] Here in the U.S., the Paris attackers touched off a ferocious debate about Syrian refugees. You may remember, President Obama had pledged to accept at least 10,000 over the next year. But after news broke that one of the attackers may have posed as a refugee and entered Europe through Greece with a fake Syrian passport, many U.S. officials had second thoughts.


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[Assistant] Okay, that's pretty extreme, but it's also pretty meaningless for two reasons. One, governors don't have the legal authority to ban refugees. And two, even if they could, Syrians can just walk between states like anyone else. The lines on maps are not crocodile-filled moats.


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[Assistant] Presidential candidates also got involved with this anti-refugee rhetoric. Donald Trump, Ben Carson and Marco Rubio called for a halt to all Syrian refugees entering the country. And others, like Ted Cruz and Jeb Bush, argued we could take some if they were Christian. And if you're wondering how that would work, let Jeb Bush explain.


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[Assistant] Did he not realize that Japanese internment camps are one of this nation's greatest sources of shame? It's one of the parts of FDR's legacy his family would most like you to forget. And bear in mind, this is a man whose own biopic featured a scene of him getting a handjob from his distant cousin.


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[Assistant] Something American newsreels at the time tried to put a positive spin on.


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[Assistant] More than a quarter of them then died in the war. So this Thanksgiving, when your grandmother's complaining about your new piercing saying your generation is terrible, simply reply, okay Nana, but at least we didn't send Jews back to Europe in 1939. Then break off a turkey leg, drop it like a microphone, and you've just won the dinner. Dinner? Over. We'll go.


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[Assistant] And those fears have been broadly unfounded. In fact, there was only one time in American history when the fear of refugees wiping everyone out did actually come true, and we'll all be sitting around a table celebrating it on Thursday.


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[Assistant] And look, it is absolutely fair. It's fair to be concerned about safety in the wake of these attacks. And it's fair to wonder...


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[Assistant] Who we're letting in and what sort of screening system is in place. Unfortunately, many of the people talking about it this week don't seem to have the first idea of what we're doing.


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[Assistant] ...end up being recommended for resettlement. But if you're one of them, you may then be referred to the State Department to begin the vetting process.


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[Assistant] At this point, more information is collected. You'll be put through security screenings by the National Counterterrorism Center, the FBI, and the Department of Homeland Security. And if you're a Syrian refugee, you'll get an additional layer of screening called the Syria Enhanced Review, which may include a further check by a special part


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[Assistant] And then, you finally get an interview with USCIS officers, and you'll also be fingerprinted so your prints can be run through the biometric databases of the FBI, the Department of Homeland Security, and the Department of Defense. And if you make it through all that, you'll then have health screenings, which, let's face it, may not go too well for you, because you may have given yourself a stroke getting through this process so far.


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[Assistant] This process typically takes 18 to 24 months once you've been referred by the UN to the United States. This is the most rigorous vetting anyone has to face before entering this country. No terrorist in their right mind would choose this path.


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[Assistant] When the visa process requires far less effort. But nevertheless, the House still voted on Thursday to add a few more steps.


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[Assistant] But the really hard truth here is no one can promise that someone dangerous still might not slip through. And while that risk should not be denied, it also should not be wildly inflated.


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[Assistant] Of the more than 784,000 refugees admitted to the US since 9-11, only three


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[Assistant] None of which, by the way, resulted in attacks here.


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[Assistant] The actual known ratio of arrested terror suspects to refugees is not one in a hundred, it's one in roughly 261,000. Peanuts themselves have killed far more people in the last decade.


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[Assistant] And that's kind of the point. Because as reasonable adults, we accept tiny amounts of risk baked into our everyday lives. We drive cars, despite knowing around 30,000 of us die in them each year. We go swimming, despite the fact 10 people a day die from drowning. 20 Americans every year are killed by cows.


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[Assistant] Any rational person knows you cannot completely eliminate risk. You can only manage it. And we do it with peanuts and cars and swimming and hamburgers and men named Mike.


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[Assistant] Because we rightly think that they're worth the risk. And I would argue, for the tremendous good we could do, and the low level of risk involved, refugees are worth it too. And you may disagree.


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[Assistant] But it is worth noting that as we devise new ways to close our doors this week, France, which had just suffered a terror attack and has far less ability to police its borders, did this.


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[Assistant] And Oliver went to Baker's school for one year before he could learn how to be an assistant baker. But Joe Carp, he's my friend, he said, Charlie, why don't you take over Oliver's job? Everybody on the floor came around and they were laughing. And Frank Riley said, yes, Charlie, you've been here long enough. Go ahead, Gimpy ain't around and he won't know you tried it.


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[Assistant] And he told me never to go near the mixer because I would get hurt. Everyone said do it, except Fanny Burton, who said stop it, why don't you leave the poor man alone?


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[Assistant] Frank Riley said, shut up Fanny, it's April Fool's Day, and if Charlie works on the mixer, he might fix it good, so we'll all have the day off. I said, I couldn't fix the machine, but I could work it, because I've been watching Oliver ever since I got back. I worked the dough mixer, and everybody was surprised, especially Frank Riley. Fanny Burden got excited.


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[Assistant] Because she said it took Oliver two years to learn how to mix the dough right and he went to Baker's school. Bernie Bate who helps on the machine.


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[Assistant] They were playing him for an April Fool joke, and he fooled them instead. Gimpy watched, and I knew he was sore at me, because he don't like when people don't do what he tells them, just like Professor Neamer. But he saw how I worked the mixer, and he scratched his head and said, I see it, but I don't believe it. Then he called Mr. Donner, and told me to work it again so Mr. Donner could see it. I was scared he was going to be angry and holler at me.


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[Assistant] So after I was finished, I said, can I go back to my own job now? I gotta sweep out the front of the bakery behind the counter. Mr. Donner looked at me funny for a long time. Then he said,


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[Assistant] This must be some kind of April Fool's joke you guys are playing on me. What's the catch? Gimpy said, that's what I thought, it was some kind of a gag. He limped all around the machine, and he said to Mr. Donner, I don't understand it either, but Charlie knows how to handle it. And I gotta admit it, he does a better job than Oliver.


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[Assistant] Everybody was crowded around and talking about it and I got scared because they all looked at me funny and they were excited. Frank said,


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[Assistant] I told you there's something peculiar lately about Charlie. And Joe Karp says, yeah, I know what you mean. Mr. Donner sent everybody back to work and he took me out to the front of the store with him. He said, Charlie, I don't know how you done it, but it looks like you finally learned something. I want you to be careful and do the best you can. You got yourself a new job with a $5 raise. I said,


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[Assistant] Instead of delivering packages and washing out the toilets and dumping the garbage, I'm the new mixer. That's advanced. Tomorrow I'll tell Miss Kinian. I think she'll be happy, but I don't know why Frank and Joe are mad at me. I asked Fanny, and she said, never mind those fools.


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[Assistant] I asked Joe to tell me what was the joke that backfired, and he said, go jump in the lake.


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[Assistant] I guess they're mad at me because I worked the machine but they didn't get the day off like they thought. Does that mean I'm getting smarter?


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[Assistant] But I shouldn't feel bad if I find out that everybody isn't nice like I think. She said for a person who God gave so little to,


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[Assistant] You did more than a lot of people with brains they never even used. I said that all my friends are smart people and they're good. They like me and they never did anything that wasn't nice. Then she got something in her eye and she had to run out to the ladies room. While I was sitting in the teaching room waiting for her, I was wondering about how Miss Kinian was a nice lady like my mother used to be.


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[Assistant] She said, but always be careful because some people don't understand and they might think you're trying to make trouble. That makes me remember when mom had to go away.


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[Assistant] And they put me to stay in Mrs Leroy's house who lived next door. Mom went to the hospital. Dad said she wasn't sick or nothing.


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[Assistant] But she went to the hospital to bring me back a baby sister or a brother. I still don't know how they do that. I told them I want a baby brother to play with. And I don't know why they got me a sister instead. But she was nice, like a doll. Only she cried all the time. I never hurt her or nothing. They put her in a crib in their room. And once, I heard Dad say, Don't worry, Charlie wouldn't harm her.


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[Assistant] All pink and screaming sometimes that I couldn't sleep. And when I went to sleep, she woke me up in the night time.


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[Assistant] One time, when they were in the kitchen and I was in my bed, she was crying.


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[Assistant] I got up to pick her up and hold her to get quiet the way mom does. But then mom came in yelling and took her away and she slapped me so hard I fell on the bed. Then she started screaming, don't you ever touch her again. You'll hurt her. She's a baby. You got no business touching her. I didn't know it then, but I guess I know it now that she thought I was going to hurt the baby because I was too dumb to know what I was doing.


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[Assistant] Now that makes me feel bad. Because I would never have hurt the baby.


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[Assistant] When I go to Dr. Strauss's office, I gotta tell him about that.


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[Assistant] She said somebody could lose a lot of money if a comma isn't in the right place. I got some money that I saved from my job and what the foundation pays me, but not much, and I don't see how a comma keeps you from losing it. But, she says, everybody uses commas, so I'll use them.


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[Assistant] Miss Kinian told me to look up long words in the dictionary to learn to spell them. I said, what's the difference if you can read it anyway? She said, it's part of your education.


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[Assistant] So from now on, I'll look up all the words I'm not sure how to spell. It takes a long time to write that way, but I think I'm remembering more and more. Anyway, that's how come I got the word punctuation right. It's that way in the dictionary. Miss Kinian says a period is punctuation too, and there are lots of other marks to learn.


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[Assistant] I told her I thought she meant all the periods had to have tails and be called commas. But she said no. She said, you gotta mix them up. She showed me how to mix them up.


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[Assistant] And now, I can mix up all kinds of punctuation in my writing.


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[Assistant] Then I saw it was the same way as Miss Kinian was trying to tell me, but I didn't get it. I got up in the middle of the night, and the whole thing straightened out in my mind.


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[Assistant] Miss Kinian said that the TV working just before I fell asleep and during the night helped out. She said I reached a plateau. That's like the flat top of a hill. After I figured out how punctuation works,


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[Assistant] I read over all my old progress reports from the beginning. Boy did I have crazy spelling and punctuation.


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[Assistant] I told Ms. Kinney and I ought to go over the pages and fix all the mistakes, but she said no, Charlie. Professor Nehmer wants them just as they are.


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[Assistant] That's why he lets you peep them after they're photo-statted, to see your own progress. You're coming along fast, Charlie. That made me feel good, after the lesson I went down and played with Algernon. We don't race anymore.


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[Assistant] April 10th. I feel sick. Not like for a doctor, but inside my chest it feels empty. Like getting punched and a heartburn at the same time. I wasn't going to write about it, but I guess I got to because it's important. Today was the first day I ever stayed home from work on purpose.


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[Assistant] Last night, Joe Karp and Frank Riley invited me to a party. There were lots of girls, and Gimpy was there, and Ernie too.


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[Assistant] I remembered how sick I got last time I drank too much, so I told Joe I didn't want to drink anything. He gave me a plain Coke instead. It tasted funny, but I thought it was just a bad taste in my mouth. We had a lot of fun for a while. Dance with Ellen, Joe said. She'll teach you the steps. Then he winked at her like he had something in his eye. She said, why don't you leave him alone?


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[Assistant] He slapped me on the back. This is Charlie Gordon, my buddy, my pal. He's no ordinary guy. He's been promoted to working on the dough mixing machine.


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[Assistant] All I did was ask you to dance with him and give him a good time. What's wrong with that? He pushed me up close against her. So she danced with me.


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[Assistant] I fell three times and I couldn't understand why because no one else was dancing besides Ellen and me. And all the time I was tripping because somebody's foot was always sticking out. They were all around in a circle watching and laughing at the way we were doing the steps.


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[Assistant] They laughed harder every time I fell and I was laughing too because it was so funny. But the last time it happened, I didn't laugh. I picked myself up and Joe pushed me down again. Then I saw the look on Joe's face and it gave me a funny feeling in my stomach. He's a scream, one of the girls said. Everybody was laughing. Oh, you were right, Frank, choked Ellen.


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[Assistant] I kept looking until it got cold and dark and I had to go home. But I never found them. And I never knew why. What Frank said reminded me. That was the same thing that happened at Halloran's. And that was what Joe and the rest of them were doing. Laughing at me.


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[Assistant] And the kids playing hide and go seek were playing tricks on me and they were laughing at me too.


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[Assistant] The people at the party were a bunch of blurred faces all looking down and laughing at me. Look at him, his face is red. He's blushing, Charlie's blushing.


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[Assistant] Hey Ellen, what'd you do to Charlie? I never saw him act like this before. Boy, Ellen sure got him worked up. I didn't know what to do or where to turn. Her rubbing up against me made me feel funny.


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[Assistant] I never knew before that Joe and Frank and the others liked to have me around just to make fun of me. Now I know what they mean when they say to pull a Charlie Gordon. I'm ashamed. And another thing, I dreamed about that girl, Ellen, dancing and rubbing up against me. And when I woke up, the sheets were wet and messy.


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[Assistant] April 13th. Still didn't go back to work at the bakery.


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[Assistant] I told Mrs. Flynn, my landlady to call and tell Mr. Donner I'm sick. Mrs. Flynn looks at me lately like she's scared of me.


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[Assistant] I think it's a good thing about finding out how everybody laughed at me. I thought about it a lot.


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[Assistant] People think it's funny when a dumb person can't do things the same way they can. Anyway, now I know I'm getting a little smarter every day. I know punctuation, and I can spell good.


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[Assistant] I like to look up all the hard words in the dictionary and I remember them.


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[Assistant] And I try to write these progress reports very careful, but that's hard to do. I'm reading a lot now, and Miss Kinian says I read very fast.


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[Assistant] And I even understand a lot of the things I'm reading about and they stay in my mind. There are times when I can close my eyes and think of a page and it all comes back like a picture. But other things come into my head too. Sometimes I close my eyes and I see a clear picture. Like this morning, just after I woke up, I was laying in bed with my eyes open.


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[Assistant] A long time ago when I first started working at Donner's Bakery.


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[Assistant] A little old man with a baby carriage made into a push cart with a charcoal burner and the smell of roasting chestnuts and snow on the ground. A young fellow, skinny, with wide eyes and a scared look on his face, looking up at the store sign. What does it say? Blurred letters in a way that don't make sense.


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[Assistant] I know now that the sign says Donner's Bakery, but looking back in my memory at the sign, I can't read the words through his eyes. None of the signs make sense. I think that fellow with the scared look on his face is me.


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[Assistant] People bundled in coats with collars up and scarves around their necks. But he has no gloves. His hands are cold. And he puts down a heavy bundle of brown paper bags.


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[Assistant] He's stopping to watch the little mechanical toys that the peddler winds up. The tumbling bear, the dog jumping, the seal spinning a ball on its nose. Tumbling, jumping, spinning. If he had all those toys for himself, he would be the happiest person in the world.


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[Assistant] He wants to ask the red-faced peddler with his fingers sticking through the brown cotton gloves if he can hold the tumbling bear for a minute. But he's afraid.


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[Assistant] laughing and teasing him like little dogs snapping at his feet charlie smiles at them he'd like to put down his bundle and play games with them but when he thinks about it the skin on his back twitches


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[Assistant] And he feels the way the older boys throw things at him. Coming back to the bakery.


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[Assistant] Charlie backs away from the boys laughing in the hallway, drops the bundle, picks it up again, and runs the rest of the way to the bakery.


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[Assistant] What took you so long Charlie? Shouts Gimpy from the doorway to the back of the bakery.


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[Assistant] The thick soles of his own high shoes are crusted with white and there's white in the stitching and lace eyes and under his nails and in the cracked chapped skin of his hands. He relaxes here, squatting against the wall.


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[Assistant] Leaning back in a way that tilts his baseball cap with the D forward over his eyes. He likes the smell of flour, sweet dough, bread and cakes and rolls baking. The oven is crackling and makes him sleepy. Sweet, warm sleep.


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[Assistant] I can see it all clearly, but I don't know why it happened. It's like when I used to go to the movies. The first time I never understood because they went too fast. But after I saw the picture three or four times, I used to understand what they were saying. I've gotta ask Dr. Strauss about it.


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[Assistant] Doctor Strauss says the important thing is to keep recalling memories, like the one I had yesterday, and to write them down. Then, when I come into his office, we can talk about them.


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[Assistant] Dr. Strauss is a psychiatrist and a neurosurgeon. I didn't know that. I thought he was just a plain doctor. But when I went to his office this morning,


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[Assistant] He told me about how important it is for me to learn about myself so that I can understand my problems. I said I didn't have any problems. He laughed, and then he got up from his chair and went to the window. The more intelligent you become, the more problems you'll have, Charlie.


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[Assistant] Your intellectual growth is going to outstrip your emotional growth. And I think you'll find that as you progress, there will be many things you'll want to talk to me about.


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[Assistant] I just want you to remember that this is the place for you to come when you need help. I still don't know what it's all about but he said


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[Assistant] Even if I don't understand my dreams or memories or why I have them, sometime in the future, they're all going to connect up, and I'll learn more about myself.


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[Assistant] He said the important thing is to find out what those people in my memories are saying. It's all about me when I was a boy, and I've got to remember what happened. I never knew about these things before. It's like, if I get intelligent enough, I'll understand all the words in my mind, and I'll know about those boys standing in the hallway, and about my Uncle Herman, and my parents. But, what he means is,


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[Assistant] Then I'm gonna feel bad about it all, and I might get sick in my mind. So I've got to come to his office twice a week now, to talk about the things that bother me.


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[Assistant] We just sit there, and I talk, and Dr. Strauss listens. It's called therapy, and that means talking about things will make me feel better. I told him, one of the things that bothers me is about women. Like dancing with that girl, Ellen, got me all excited. So we talked about it, and I got a funny feeling while I was talking. Cold, and sweaty, and a buzzing inside my head, and I thought I was gonna throw up.


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[Assistant] Maybe because I always thought it was dirty and bad to talk about that.


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[Assistant] But Dr. Strauss said what happened to me after the party was a wet dream, and it's a natural thing that happens to boys. So even if I'm getting intelligent and learning a lot of new things, he thinks I'm still a boy about women. It's confusing, but...


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[Assistant] I'm going to find out all about my life.


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[Assistant] I'm reading a lot these days, and almost everything is staying in my mind. Besides history and geography and arithmetic, Miss Kinian says I should start learning foreign languages.


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[Assistant] I still don't know how the conscious and unconscious mind works, but Dr. Strauss says not to worry yet.


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[Assistant] But I'm still angry that all the time people were laughing and making fun of me. When I become intelligent, the way Professor Nehmer says, with much more than twice my IQ of 70, then maybe people will like me and be my friends. I'm not sure what IQ is anyway.


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[Assistant] Professor Nehmer said it was something that measured how intelligent you were. Like a scale in the drugstore weighs pounds. But Dr. Strauss had a big argument with him.


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[Assistant] And said, an IQ didn't weigh intelligence at all.


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[Assistant] He said an IQ showed how much intelligence you could get, like the numbers on the outside of a measuring cup. You still had to fill the cup up with stuff.


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[Assistant] When I asked Burt Seldon, who gives me my intelligence tests and works with Algernon, he said that some people would say both of them were wrong, and according to the things he's been reading up on, the IQ measures a lot of different things, including some of the things you learned already, and it really isn't a good measure of intelligence at all.


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[Assistant] So I still don't know what IQ is, and everybody says it's something different. Mine is about 100 now, and it's going to be over 150 soon, but they still have to fill me up with the stuff. I didn't want to say anything, but


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[Assistant] I don't see how, if they don't know what it is or where it is, how they know how much of it you've got.


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[Assistant] Professor Nehmer says I have to take a Rorschach test the day after tomorrow. I wonder what that is.


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[Assistant] The way Dr. Strauss told me to do when I remember my dreams. Think about the dream.


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[Assistant] And just let my mind wander until other thoughts come up in my mind I keep on doing that until my mind goes blank


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[Assistant] Dr. Strauss says that it means I've reached a point where my subconscious is trying to block my conscious from remembering. It's a wall between the present and the past. Sometimes the wall stays up and sometimes it breaks down and I can remember what's behind it. Like this morning.


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[Assistant] The dream was about Miss Kinian reading my progress reports. In the dream, I sit down to write, but I can't write or read anymore. It's all gone. I get frightened, so I ask Gimpy at the bakery to write for me.


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[Assistant] But when Miss Kinian reads the reports, he gets angry and tears the pages up, because they've got dirty words in them.


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[Assistant] When I get home, Professor Nehmer and Dr. Strauss are waiting for me.


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[Assistant] And they give me a beating for writing dirty things in the progress report. When they leave me, I pick up the torn pages. But they turn into lace valentines. With blood all over them. It was a horrible dream. But I got out of bed and wrote it all down. And then I started to free associate. Bakery. Baking. The urn. Someone kicking me. Fall down. Bloody all over.


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[Assistant] Big pencil on a red valentine, a little gold heart, a locket, a chain all covered with blood, and he's laughing at me.


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[Assistant] The chain is from a locket, spinning around, flashing the sunlight into my eyes. And I like to watch it spin, watch the chain, all bunched up and twisting and spinning. And a little girl is watching me. Her name is Miss Kin- I mean, Harriet. Harriet, Harriet, we all love Harriet. And then there's nothing, it's blank again. Miss Kinian reading my progress reports over my shoulder.


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[Assistant] She's a little girl with dimples and long curls and her name is Harriet. We all love Harriet. It's Valentine's Day.


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[Assistant] And why they had to change my school and send me to PS222. It was because of Harriet.


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[Assistant] He has a little gold color locket he once found in the street. There's no chain, but he has it on a string.


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[Assistant] And once, when Jaime Ross dropped the ball by mistake and he picked it up, they wouldn't let him throw it. But he had to go in the middle again.


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[Assistant] When Harriet passes by, the boys stop playing and look at her. All the boys love Harriet. When she shakes her head, her curls bounce up and down, and she has dimples. Charlie doesn't know why they make such a fuss about a girl, and why they always want to talk to her.


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[Assistant] Ball or kick the can or ring a levio than talk to a girl. But all the boys are in love with Harriet. So he's in love with her too. She never teases him like the other kids. And he does tricks for her. He walks on the desks when the teacher isn't there. He throws erasers out the window. Scribbles all over the blackboard and walls. And Harriet always screeches and giggles. Oh look at Charlie, ain't he funny? Oh ain't he silly? It's Valentine's Day.


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[Assistant] And the boys are talking about valentines they're gonna give Harriet. So Charlie says, I'm gonna give Harriet a valentime too.


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[Assistant] They laugh and Barry says, where are you gonna get a valentime? I'm gonna get her a pretty one. You'll see. But he doesn't have any money for a valentime.


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[Assistant] So he decides to give Harriet his locket that is heart shaped like the valentines in the store windows. That night, he takes tissue paper from his mother's drawer.


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[Assistant] He takes it to Jaime Roth the next day during lunch period in school and asks Jaime to write on the paper for him. He tells Jaime to write, Dear Harriet, I think you are the most prettiest girl in the whole world. I like you very much and I love you. I want you to be my Valentine. Your friend, Charlie Gordon.


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[Assistant] Jaime prints very carefully in large letters on the paper, laughing all the time. And he tells Charlie, Boy, this will knock her eyes out. Wait till she sees this.


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[Assistant] Charlie's scared, but he wants to give Harriet that locket, so he follows her home from school and waits until she goes into her house.


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[Assistant] Then he sneaks into the hall and hangs the package on the inside of the door knob. He rings the bell twice and runs across the street to hide behind the tree.


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[Assistant] And he gets a spanking because he took the tissue paper and ribbon out of his mother's drawer without telling her. But he doesn't care. Tomorrow, Harriet will wear the locket and tell all the boys he gave it to her. Then they'll see. The next day he runs all the way to school, but it's too early. Harriet isn't there yet, and he's excited. But when Harriet comes in, she doesn't even look at him. She isn't wearing the locket.


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[Assistant] And she looks sore. He does all kinds of things when Mrs. Jansen isn't watching. He makes funny faces. He laughs out loud. He stands up on his seat and wiggles his fanny. He even throws a piece of chalk at Harold. But Harriet doesn't look at him even once. Maybe she forgot. Maybe she'll wear it tomorrow. She passes by in the hallway.


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[Assistant] But when he comes over to ask her, she pushes past him without saying a word. Down in the schoolyard, her two big brothers are waiting for him. Gus pushes him. You little bastard. Did you write this dirty note to my sister? Charlie says he didn't write any dirty notes. I just gave her a valentine.


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[Assistant] And tells him to wash off the blood and dirt from his face and hands before he goes back home.


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[Assistant] I guess I was pretty dumb because I believed what people told me. I shouldn't have trusted Jaime or anyone. I never remembered any of this before today, but it came back to me after I thought about the dream.


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[Assistant] Anyway, I'm glad now I don't have to ask anyone to write things for me. Now I can do it for myself. But I just realized something. Harriet never gave me back my locket.


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[Assistant] I knew Burt was going to ask me to find the pictures and I knew I wouldn't be able to. I was thinking


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[Assistant] If only there was some way of knowing what kind of pictures were hidden there. Maybe there weren't any pictures at all.


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[Assistant] Nothing to be upset about. This is just one of the standard personality tests. Now, I want you to look at this card. What might this be?


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[Assistant] What do you see on this card? People see all sorts of things in these inkblots. Tell me what it might be for you, what it makes you think of. I was shocked. I stared at the card, and then at him. That wasn't what I had expected him to say at all. You mean, there are no pictures hidden in those inkblots? Bert frowned and took off his glasses. What? Pictures?


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[Assistant] Being so afraid of the inkblots had made me angry at myself and at Burt too. That's what you said to me.


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[Assistant] Professor Neamer was passing by in the hall, and when I rushed past him without saying hello, he knew something was wrong. He and Burt caught up with me as I was about to go down in the elevator. Charlie, said Neamer, grabbing my arm. Wait a minute. What is this all about? I shook free and nodded at Burt. I'm sick and tired of people making fun of me, that's all.


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[Assistant] Maybe before I didn't know any better, but now I do and I don't like it. Nobody's making fun of you here, Charlie, said Neamer. What about the inkblots?


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[Assistant] Would you like to hear the exact words Bert said to you and your answers as well? We have a tape recording of that testing session. We can replay it and let you hear exactly what was said.


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[Assistant] I went back with them to the psych office with mixed feelings. I was sure they had made fun of me and tricked me when I was too ignorant to know better. My anger was an exciting feeling and I didn't give it up easily. I was ready to fight.


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[Assistant] As Neamer went to the files to get the tape, Bird explained, last time I used almost the exact words I use today.


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[Assistant] An anger and suspicion were my first reactions to the world around me. Bert's voice boomed over the tape recorder. Now I want you to look at this card Charlie. What might this be?


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[Assistant] I went back to the lab with Bert, and we went on with the Rorschach. We went through the cards slowly. This time my responses were different. I saw things in the inkblots. A pair of bats tugging at each other. Two men fencing with swords. I imagined all sorts of things. But even so,


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[Assistant] I kept turning the cards around, checking the backs to see if there was anything there I was supposed to catch. I peeked while he was making his notes, but it was all in code that looked like this. WF plus A DDF dash AD ORIG period. WF dash ASF plus OBJ.


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[Assistant] Maybe I'll understand it when Dr. Strauss lets me read up on psychology.


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[Assistant] It's getting harder for me to write down all my thoughts and feelings because I know that people are reading them.


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[Assistant] It is told, though Allah be wiser or more merciful, there was in the past of the ages a king among kings.


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[Assistant] And this master of time and people was an oppressor to both.


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[Assistant] But a wise man among the sages of Baghdad comforted them with a prophecy saying in the fullness of years a liberator shall come upon you and this shall be the sign of him.


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[Assistant] A master of arms and of armies of vessels and auxiliaries. And this master of time people was an oppressor to both.


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[Assistant] So uhm, uh, uh, uh, uh,


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[Assistant] Big Ed made his way across the room and entered the bedroom, closing the door behind him.


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[Assistant] Inside the bedroom. Everything was already laid out on the bed


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[Assistant] A large mirror with a sifter lying beside it was already in place for use when the time came.


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[Assistant] So uhm, uh,


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[Assistant] So uhm, uh, uh,


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[Assistant] She continued to strain it until she had it just the way she wanted it.


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[Assistant] It had been a long time since they had allowed themselves to get caught like this, but it was one of the hazards of being a drug user.


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[Assistant] Whenever a really big bust went down, the users and the streets paid dearly for it.


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[Assistant] How many will it take


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[Assistant] The bastard charged a grand for each piece, Porky, she answered, not bothering to look up. The thought never entered her mind that he would doubt her, and he didn't. God damn, that's twice as much as this pure is worth. Porky quickly calculated up the price he had paid for the dope.


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[Assistant] His barrage of words didn't surprise Smokey in the least.


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[Assistant] She knew him so well, she could have bet he would raise the prize.


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[Assistant] It was all a matter of


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[Assistant] You gonna use the ten dollar spoon, Porky, to measure up the twenty dollar packs? You goddamn right I am. He growled. What'd you think I was gonna use, bitch, a quarter spoon?


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[Assistant] Okay, okay.


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[Assistant] He was short and thin, a brown skinned man nearing fifty. His hair was almost completely gray, while his thin mustache was speckled with gray. Porky picked up two album covers and dropped them on the bed. He sat down across from the pile of dope.


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[Assistant] I want you to pack up all that stuff Dave, and I'll give you a blow when you finish. Don't let your fingers get sticky, he added, cause I'll be right here on the case. Big Ed stuck his head in the door.


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[Assistant] You want me to start collecting some of this money, Porky? Everybody out here keeps trying to push it in my hand. Seems they got the idea they might not cop before you run out. Now get it.


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[Assistant] Tell them fools we ain't gonna run out no time soon, so rest easy." Porky wished the words were true as he said them.


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[Assistant] He knew the dope would last a while, because he had ten pieces, but as big as his business was, he'd be out of dope in less than two days. Gigi came into the room in time to answer the phone. Is Snake on the line, Porky? He wants to know if you're alright.


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[Assistant] With a grotesque smile, revealing his yellow teeth, Porky reached for the phone. Well, well, well, if it ain't the big dope dealer himself, what can I do for you, King Snake? On the other end of the line, Snake could feel the blood rushing to his head. Instantly, the thought ran through his mind. They got some dope.


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[Assistant] You alright, Porky?" he asked, unable to control the pleading note in his voice. All at once, Porky began to laugh. The feeling of importance filled his very being.


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[Assistant] He could almost reach out and touch the vibration of fear in Snake's voice.


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[Assistant] He knew Snake was afraid of being denied the opportunity to cop from this more influential dealer. For a moment.


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[Assistant] Porky toyed with the idea of just turning him down, but his capricious disposition, mixed with his greed, was too much. The only thing I can let you have, Snake, Porky said, his agile mind adding swiftly, is a piece of cut stuff. On the other end of the line, Snake caught his breath. A piece of stuff? He hadn't hoped for such good luck. He glanced around the room at the addicts watching him. He could almost make his money back off of them.


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[Assistant] How much, Porky? $400 for one piece, Porky replied.


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[Assistant] Then added,


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[Assistant] I'm selling ten dollar packs for twenty dollars right now, Snake. So you shouldn't have no problem getting your money back out of it. Porky mentally counted up his initial investment.


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[Assistant] After spending 1,000 for a piece of pure, cutting it four times, which gave him five pieces, selling one of those cut pieces for 400, he was left with four pieces of cut dope. At that rate, he would have paid $600 for four pieces of cut dope. When he broke that down, it would come out to about $150 a piece. Not bad at all, he reasoned, as he waited for Snake's reply. After a short debate with Teddy, Snake hurriedly answered,


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[Assistant] We on our way, Porky. Hold that piece for us." He hung the phone up and spoke to one of the dope fiends in his overcrowded apartment. If anyone comes to the door, Jake, tell them I went to cop. I'll be back in an hour. He hesitated for a moment. Don't let nobody else see in though, until we get back. Just tell them everything's going to be all right. Teddy spoke up from the door.


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[Assistant] You better tell them it ain't gonna be no more $10 packs. All we gonna have is $20 packs or three caps for $15. They left the apartment together. Neither man was sick. They had bought some paragoric earlier and cooked it up. That bastard is sticking it to a snake? 400 fat ones for some cut stuff? How much you figure we can make out of it? Snake remained silent, counting to himself. The way I got it figured, Teddy.


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[Assistant] So uhm, uh, uh,


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[Assistant] They climbed in the late model car Snake had bought since they started dealing. It wasn't brand new, but it was only two years old and still ran smoothly. Snake started the motor up, but before he could back up, a car full of addicts pulled up beside him. You all right? One of the dope fiends yelled out of the back window.


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[Assistant] I'll be back with some skag in less than an hour," Snake replied.


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[Assistant] We've been here that same bullshit for the past two days now. Every goddamn body will be right back. But we don't never see nobody coming in the door with it. Don't worry, Snake answered. I ain't just talking out the side of my neck. I done already called and the stuff is there.


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[Assistant] But their mutterings died down as the thought sank in that Snake really was on his way to pick up some dope. The driver pulled the car out of the way so Snake could get past.


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[Assistant] Okay, okay.


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[Assistant] She left the man a couple of days ago, so we've been staying together. Do she use? Teddy asked from the passenger side of the car. Carrie, Shirley said as soon as her girlfriend walked up. That little man over there wants to know if you use. Carrie laughed lightly.


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[Assistant] So uhm, uh,


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[Assistant] She was a tall, light-colored woman with a dazzling smile.


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[Assistant] She'd been on stuff for over a year, but it had not caught up with her yet.


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[Assistant] She still had a beautiful shape


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[Assistant] She was one of the few black women Teddy had ever seen with freckles.


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[Assistant] It's a shame that people all over the world can't have that kind of love in their hearts," he said.


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[Assistant] There would be no war, slaughter or murder, no greed or selfishness.


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[Assistant] It would be the kind of world that God wants us to have. A wonderful world.


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[Assistant] After all the ice was thawed from my dogs and their coats were dried out, I could see they were all right. I was happy again and felt good all over.


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[Assistant] One of the hunters said, Do you think those hounds are thawed out enough to fight a coon?


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[Assistant] Sure, just run him out of that tree, I said.


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[Assistant] At the crack of the gun the coon ran far out on a big limb and stopped.


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[Assistant] Again the hunter sprinkled him with birdshot. This time he jumped. Hitting the ground, he crouched down.


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[Assistant] Little Anne was trying hard to get a hold of the coon, but she couldn't. Because of his fast circling, old Dan's feet flew out from under him and he fell. This gave Little Anne a chance. Darting in, her jaws closed on the back of the coon's neck. I knew the fight was over.


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[Assistant] Arriving back at camp I saw that all the tents had been taken down but ours. A hunter said, Everyone was in a hurry to get out before another blizzard sets in.


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[Assistant] Papa told me to take my dogs into the tent as Grandpa wanted to see them.


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[Assistant] I saw tears in my grandfather's eyes as he talked to him.


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[Assistant] His ankle was wrapped in bandages, his foot and toes were swollen to twice their normal size. They had turned a greenish-yellow color. Placing my hand on his foot I could feel the feverish heat. Dr. Lathman came over. Are you ready to go now? he asked.


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[Assistant] Snorting and growling, Grandpa said, I told you I wasn't going anywhere until I see the gold cup handed to this boy. Turning to face the crowd, Doctor Lathman said,


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[Assistant] Men, let's get this over. I wanna get this man to town.


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[Assistant] That's one of the meanest brains I've ever seen, and it should be in a cast, but I don't have any plaster of Paris with me.


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[Assistant] The hunter who had come by our tent collecting the jackpot money came up to me, handing me the box, he said. Here you are, son. There's over three hundred dollars in this box. It's all yours. Turning to the crowd, he said.


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[Assistant] Fellas, I can always say this, on this hunt I've seen two of the finest little coon hounds I ever hoped to see. There was a roar of approval from the crowd.


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[Assistant] Looking down, I saw the box was almost full of money. I was shaking all over. I tried to say thanks, but it was only a whisper.


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[Assistant] Turning, I handed the box to my father. As his rough old hands closed around it, I saw a strange look come over his face. He turned and looked at my dogs. Some of the men started shouting, Here it is!


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[Assistant] The crowd parted and the judge walked through. I saw the gleaming metal of a gold cup in his hand.


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[Assistant] After a short speech, he handed it to me, saying,


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[Assistant] This makes me very proud. It's a great honor to present you with this championship cup. The crowd exploded, the hunters shouts with deafening.


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[Assistant] I don't know from where the two silly old tears came. They just squeezed their way out. I felt them as they rolled down my cheeks. One dropped on the smooth surface of a cup and splattered. I wiped it away with my sleeve.


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[Assistant] Turning to my dogs, I knelt down and showed the cup to them. Little Anne licked it.


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[Assistant] Old Dan sniffed one time and then turned his head away. The judge said,


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[Assistant] Son, there's a place on the cup to engrave the names of your dogs.


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[Assistant] I can take it into Oklahoma City and have it done, or you can have it done yourself.


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[Assistant] The engraving charge has already been paid by the association.


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[Assistant] Looking at the cup it seemed that far down in the gleaming shadows I could see two wide blue eyes glued to a window pane.


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[Assistant] I knew that my little sister was watching the road and waiting for our return. Looking back at the judge, I said, If you don't mind, I'll take it with me. My grandfather can send it in for me.


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[Assistant] Handing me a slip of paper, he said, this is the address where you should send it. Grandpa said, now that that's settled I'm ready to go to town. Turning to Papa, he said,


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[Assistant] You'll have to bring the buggy, and I wish you'd look after my stock. I know Grandma will want to go in with us, and there'll be no one there to feed them.


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[Assistant] Tell Bill Lowry to come up and take care of the store. You'll find the keys in the usual place. We'll take care of everything, Papa said. Don't worry about a thing. I don't intend to stop until we get back, because it looks like we're in for some more bad weather. I went over and kissed Grandpa goodbye. He pinched my cheek and whispered,


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[Assistant] I still think it was a hell of a thing for a man to do.


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[Assistant] Oh, the weather outside is frightful But the fire is so delightful Since we've no place to go Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow


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[Assistant] It doesn't show signs of stoppin', and I brought some corn for poppin'.


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[Assistant] It doesn't show signs of stoppin' And I brought lots of corn for poppin' The lights are way down low


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[Assistant] What did you say, Dan? I said a radiogram just arrived from that friend of yours, Miss Marilyn Thomas.


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[Assistant] And I wouldn't trade her little finger for your... Well, I just wouldn't, that's all.


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[Assistant] Tim, I see a slight improvement. She's your patient. Yeaah. Go on, my boy, go on. What are you waiting for? Rigor mortis set in? Yes, sir.


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[Assistant] Book 4 House of Happiness Chapter 1 Return to Wuthering Heights


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[Assistant] You will now begin to see why I, William Lockwood,


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[Assistant] Who now lives at Thrushcross Grange have told my story in these four different parts.


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[Assistant] This has not been an easy story to tell, because I met Kathy


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[Assistant] I did not know the first Catherine, Catherine Earnshaw or the Heathcliff of many years ago.


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[Assistant] I first came to Yorkshire long after many of the people in the story were dead.


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[Assistant] I understood Catherine Earnshaw through Ellen Dean's eyes.


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[Assistant] She knew the first Catherine well, and I could see her in my mind.


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[Assistant] But I did see and meet the daughter of Catherine Earnshaw. I did speak with Heathcliff, you remember?


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[Assistant] I did sit at the table with Ayrton Earnshaw during my visit to Wuthering Heights, the grey house that is always in the story.


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[Assistant] I met all these unhappy people at Wuthering Heights, which I have called a house of hatred. And how does the story end? Is there more to it? Yes, there is. And the end is a happy one. Let me tell you what happened.


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[Assistant] You remember that I came to Yorkshire and met Heathcliff during the winter of 1801.


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[Assistant] I wanted to live at Thrushcross Grange for at least two years, but before the winter was over, I had to go to London on some very important business.


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[Assistant] I stayed in London until September of 1802


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[Assistant] I was traveling to my friend's house when I stopped at an inn.


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[Assistant] A man was giving my horse some water to drink when a carriage passed by. That carriage is going to Gimerton, he casually remarked. I gave a start. Gimerton? I said. How far away is that? About fourteen miles away from here, he said.


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[Assistant] Suddenly I wanted to go back to Threshcross Grange.


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[Assistant] Well, I'm Mr. Lockwood, the master. I'm going to stay here the night. She looked at me in surprise. I never knew you were coming here, sir, she said. I'll have to get your room.


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[Assistant] I knew she would need some time to cook a meal, so I told her I would go out for a walk while I was waiting.


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[Assistant] I wanted to go to Wuthering Heights and talk to Ellen Dean.


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[Assistant] The moon was in the sky as I walked past the lonely churchyard where Catherine Earnshaw was buried.


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[Assistant] Suddenly, standing on the road, I saw little boy crying terribly. What's the matter, boy? I asked him.


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[Assistant] I saw that Heathcliff and a lady walking there.


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[Assistant] I did not understand what the boy was afraid of.


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[Assistant] So I told him to hurry home and continue to walk.


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[Assistant] When I reached Wuthering Heights, a beautiful moon was shining in the sky. As I opened the gate and walked towards the door, the sweet smell of flowers was in the air.


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[Assistant] All the doors and windows were thrown wide open.


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[Assistant] Contrary, said the man's voice.


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[Assistant] And now, kiss me for remembering so well.


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[Assistant] I looked into an open window. There was a young man, handsome and well dressed, sitting at the table with a book. I saw that it was Herten Earnshaw. And next to him was the beautiful young Catherine, the first Cathy's daughter. She smiled and laughed happily.


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[Assistant] I saw that Kathy was teaching Herten to read, and they were both in love with each other. Then I went to the kitchen door.


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[Assistant] Ellen Dean was sitting outside in the moonlight. When she saw me she jumped to her feet.


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[Assistant] How are you, Ellen? I'm surprised to see you here.


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[Assistant] I remembered the little boy I had met by the churchyard.


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[Assistant] Who said that he had seen Heathcliff and a woman walking in the dark.


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[Assistant] That's alright. I asked for dinner at Threshcross Grange, I said.


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[Assistant] Ellen and I had a cup of tea while she told me the story.


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[Assistant] But we met you at another party here. It was about a month ago. You've changed the color of your hair since then.


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[Assistant] I don't care what I do, so I always have a good time.


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[Assistant] Last time I came here, I ripped my dress on a chair.


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[Assistant] A week later, I received a box in the mail from Gatsby. There was a beautiful new dress in it.


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[Assistant] He is worried about having trouble with anybody.


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[Assistant] Let's go somewhere else. This conversation is too polite and boring.


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[Assistant] He's just a man named Gatsby. Where is he from and what does he do? Now you want to talk about him also. Everyone here talks about him, but nobody knows him.


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[Assistant] He told me once he had been to Oxford University, but I don't believe him.


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[Assistant] I've just heard the strangest thing. How long were we in there?


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[Assistant] It was very strange, but I promised I wouldn't tell anybody. Please come and see me soon.


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[Assistant] Other people are, and they will jump out of my way.


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[Assistant] I hate careless people. That's why I like you.


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[Assistant] The last night of the eliminations turned out like the second night. None of the judges turned in more than two hides.


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[Assistant] That day, about noon, the owners of the other winning teams and I were called for a conference with the head judge. He said,


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[Assistant] Gentlemen, the eliminations are over. Only three sets of hounds are left for the runoff. The winner of tonight's hunt will receive the gold cup.


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[Assistant] If there's a tie for the championship, naturally there will be another runoff. He shook hands with each of us and wished us good luck.


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[Assistant] Tension began to build up in the camp. He and their hunters were standing in small groups, talking. Others could be seen going in and out of tents, with rolls of money in their hands. Grampa was the busiest one of all. His voice could be heard all over the camp. Men were looking at me, and talking in low tones. I strutted like a turkey gobbler.


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[Assistant] Son, I think almost every man in this camp is hoping you win it.


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[Assistant] But it's not going to be easy. You're going to be up against four of the finest hounds there are.


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[Assistant] Did you know the two big walker hounds have won four gold cups? Very seriously, Papa said.


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[Assistant] You know, I have two mules down on my place. One is almost as big as a barn. The other one is much bigger than a jackrabbit.


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[Assistant] But that little mule can out pull the big one every time. Smiling, the hunter turned to leave. He said, You could be right.


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[Assistant] Papa asked me again where I thought we should start hunting. I had been thinking about this all day. I said, you remember where we jumped the last coon in the swamp? Papa said, yes.


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[Assistant] Well, the way I figure, more than one coon lives in that swamp, I said. It's a good place for them, as there are lots of crawfish and minnows in those potholes.


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[Assistant] If a hound jumps one there, he has a good chance to tree him. Papa asked why. It's a long way back to the river, and about the same distance to the mountains, I said. Either way he runs, a dog can get pretty close to him, and so he would have to take to a tree.


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[Assistant] That evening we climbed into Grandpa's buggy and headed for the swamp. It was dark by the time we reached it.


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[Assistant] Grandpa handed Papa his gun saying, You're getting to be a pretty good shot with this thing. I hope I get to shoot it a lot tonight, Papa said. Under my breath I said, I do too.


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[Assistant] After untying the ropes from my dogs, I held onto their collars for a minute. Pulling them up close, I knelt down and whispered, This is the last night. I know you'll do your best. They seemed to understand and tugged at their collars.


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[Assistant] When I turned them loose, they started for the timber. Just as they reached the dark shadows, they stopped, turned around, and stared straight at me for an instant.


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[Assistant] The judge saw their strange actions. Laying a hand on my shoulder, he asked, What did they say, son? I said, Nothing that anyone could understand, but


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[Assistant] I can feel that they know this hunt is important. They know it just as well as you or I.


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[Assistant] It was little Anne who found the trail before the echo of her sharp cry had died away old Dan's deep voice floated out of the swamp. Well, let's go, Papa said eagerly. No, let's wait a minute, I said. Wait, why? Grandpa asked. To see which way he's gonna run, I said.


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[Assistant] Coon broke out of the swamp and headed for the river. Listening to my dogs, I could tell they were close to him. I said to Papa, I don't think he'll ever make it to the river. They're right on his heels now.


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[Assistant] Papa and I knew I had judged the coon perfectly. He didn't have time to reach the river or the mountains.


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[Assistant] My dogs had treed the coon in a tall ash which stood about fifty yards from the river. I knew the fifty yards had saved us a good hour because he could have pulled trick after trick if he had gotten in the water.


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[Assistant] We spied the coon in the topmost branches. At the crack of the gun he ran far out on a limb and jumped.


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[Assistant] He landed in an old fallen treetop. He scooted through it. Coming out on the other side, he ran for the river. The tangled mass of limbs slowed my dogs, and they all but tore the treetop apart, getting out of it. The coon was just one step ahead of them as they reached the river. We heard them hit the water.


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[Assistant] Running over, we stood and watched the fight. The coon was at home in the river. He crawled up on old Dan's head, trying to force him under. Before he could do it, little Anne reached up and pulled him off. In a scared voice, Papa said, That water looks deep to me.


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[Assistant] Maybe you had better call them off, said the judge. That's a big coon, and he could drown one of them easily in that deep water.


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[Assistant] Call them off, I said. Why, you couldn't whip them off with a stick. There's no use for anyone to get scared. They know exactly what they're doing. I've seen this more times than one.


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[Assistant] Grandpa was scared and excited. He was jumping up and down, whooping and hollering. Papa raised the gun to aim. I jumped and grabbed his arm. Don't do that! I yelled. You're sure to hit one of my dogs.


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[Assistant] Round and round in the deep water the fight went on. The coon climbed on old Dan's head and sank his teeth in one of his long, tender ears. Old Dan bawled with pain. Little Anne swam in and caught one of the coon's hind legs in her mouth. She tried hard to pull him off. All three disappeared under the water. I held my breath.


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[Assistant] The water churned and boiled. All three came to the top about the same time. The coon was between the bank we were standing on and my dogs. He swam toward us.


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[Assistant] They caught him again just as he reached shore. He fought his way free and ran for a large sycamore. Old Dan caught him just as he started up. I knew that was the end of the fight.


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[Assistant] After it was all over and the coon had been skinned, Grandpa said,


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[Assistant] I hope we don't have to go through that again tonight, for a while I sure thought your dogs were goners. The judge said, Well, have you ever seen that? Look over there.


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[Assistant] Old Dan was standing perfectly still with eyes closed and head hanging down.


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[Assistant] Little Anne was licking at his cut and bleeding ears. She always does that, I said.


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[Assistant] If you'll watch, when she gets done with him, he'll do the same for her.


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[Assistant] We stood and watched until they had finished doctoring each other.


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[Assistant] Then, trotting side by side, they disappeared in the darkness. We followed along, stopping now and then to listen.


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[Assistant] Happy for second. I mean, obviously you want to win, but I raced my best race today. So, and full credit to Marcus. He was very strong and he was the deserving winner.


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[Assistant] Reaching by, John Clare. I am. Yet, what I am, none cares or knows. My friends forsake me like a memory lost.


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[Assistant] I'm the self-consumer of my walls. They rise and vanish in oblivious toast. Like shadows in love's frenzied stifled throes. And yet, I am. And life. Like vapors tossed. Into the nothingness of scorn and noise. Into the living sea of waking dreams. Where there is neither sense of life or joys. But the vast shipwreck of my life sustains.


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[Assistant] I lay for the scenes where men hath never trod, a place where woman never smiled or wept, there to abide with my creator, God, and sleep as I in my childhood sweetly slept, untroubling and untroubled were I lie, the grass below, above the vaulted sky.


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[Assistant] Welcome back, welcome back, welcome back everybody to another chapter of a court of wings and ruin.


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[Assistant] Written by Sarah J Maas. Read by yours truly, Free Wada, with the exclamation point.


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[Assistant] Before that, an emphasis. We're back here today after a long chapter 27.


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[Assistant] I was being all sick and grody, you know, adding to the sick and grodiness feel. It was very thematic of what happened in chapter 27, uh, where everyone was just kind of pissed at each other, you know?


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[Assistant] So I think the little bit of sickness I brought into it was actually foreshadowing in a way that, you know,


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[Assistant] We may not all get, but you know, it's, I'm just trying to do that, that 4d chess kind of thinking, but in all in all.


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[Assistant] If there's anything I get out of chapter 27 is why can't we be nicer to more?


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[Assistant] Hopefully Moore doesn't have any bad parts later in the book, but come on. She's had a hard ass life. Let's be nicer to the girl. And with that, let's get back into Chapter 28.


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[Assistant] I drag myself out of bed by sheer will the next morning.


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[Assistant] Emron had said the carver wouldn't bind himself into a fae body, and claimed that. But it weren't hurt to try.


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[Assistant] If it gave us the slightest chance of holding out, of keeping rise from giving everything. He was already gone by the time I awoke.


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[Assistant] I gritted my teeth as I dressed in my leathers and winnowed to the house of wind.


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[Assistant] I had my wings ready as I hit the wards protecting it and managed a decent enough glide into the open air training ring on its flat top.


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[Assistant] Cassian was already waiting, hands on his hips, watching as I eased, down, down,


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[Assistant] Too fast. My feet skipped over the dirt, bouncing me up. Up. Backflap. His warning was too late.


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[Assistant] I slammed into a wall of crimson before I could get a face full of ruddy rock.


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[Assistant] But I swore. Pride skinned as much as my palms as I staggered back. My wings unwieldy behind me.


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[Assistant] Cassian's shoulders shook as he reigned in a lap, and I gave him a vulgar gesture in return.


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[Assistant] If you're going for a landing that way, make sure you have room. I scowled. Lesson learned.


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[Assistant] Or space the bank and circle until you're slow. I get it.


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[Assistant] Cassian held up his hands, but the amusement faded as he watched me dismiss the wings and stalk toward him. Oh, that was Cassian asking my apologies. I didn't think the order of others gave him enough credit for noticing the shift in someone's emotional current.


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[Assistant] To command legions, I suppose he needed to be able to read that sort of thing.


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[Assistant] Judge when the soldiers or enemies were strong or breaking or broken.


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[Assistant] I peered inside to that place where I now felt like quicksand and said, hard, I want to limp out of here.


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[Assistant] I peeled off the leather jacket and rolled up the sleeves of my white shirt.


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[Assistant] Cassian swept an assessing stare over me. He murmured, it helps me too. The physical activity, the training.


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[Assistant] You rolled his shoulders as I began to stretch. It's always helped me focus and center myself. And after last night...


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[Assistant] He tied back his dark hair. I definitely need it. This.


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[Assistant] I held my leg folded behind me, my muscles protesting at the stretch. I suppose there are worse methods of coping. A lopsided grin. Indeed there are.


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[Assistant] Ezreal's lesson afterward consisted of standing in a breeze and trying to memorize his instructions on currents and downdrafts, on how heat and cold could shape wind and speed. Throughout it, he was quiet, removed, even by his standard.


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[Assistant] I made the mistake of asking if he'd spoken to more since he last left last night. No, he had not. And that was that.


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[Assistant] Even if he kept flexing his scarred hand at his side, as if recalling the sensation of the hand she'd whipped free of his touch during that meeting. Over and over.


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[Assistant] I didn't dare tell him that he'd made the right call. That perhaps he should talk to more rather than let the guilt eat at him.


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[Assistant] The two of them have had enough between them without me shoving myself into it.


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[Assistant] I was indeed limping by the time I returned to the townhouse hours later.


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[Assistant] Finding more at the dining table, munching on a giant pastry she'd grabbed from a bakery on her way in. You look like a team of horses trampled you, she said around her food. Good, I said, taking the pastry out of her hand and finishing it off.


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[Assistant] She squawked in outrage, snapped her fingers, and a plate of carved melon from the kitchen down the hall appeared on the polished table before her.


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[Assistant] Right atop the pile of what looked to be letters on various pieces of stationery. What's that? I said, wiping the crumbs from my mouth.


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[Assistant] The first of the High Lord's responses, she said sweetly, plucking up a slice of green fruit and biting off a chunk. No hint of last night's rage and fear. That pleasant, hm?


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[Assistant] Helions came first this morning. Between all the innuendo, I think he'd said he'd be willing to join us?


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[Assistant] I lifted my brows. That's good, isn't it? A shrug. Elion, we weren't worried about. The other two. She finished off the melon, chewing wetly.


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[Assistant] Thiessen says he'll come, but won't do it unless it's in truly, in truly neutral and safe location. Callius, he doesn't trust us any, er, any of us after Under the Mountain. He wants to bring armed guards.


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[Assistant] Day, dawn, and winter. Our closest allies. No word from anyone else. My gut tightened. No.


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[Assistant] Spring, autumn, and summer haven't sent a reply. We don't have much time until the meeting. What if they refuse to reply at all?


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[Assistant] I didn't have the nerve to wonder aloud if Eris would be good to his word and make sure his father attended and joined our cause. Not with the light back in her face. More picked up another slice of melon.


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[Assistant] Then we'll have to decide if Verizon and I will go drag them by their necks to this meeting, or if we'll have it without them.


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[Assistant] I'd suggest the second option, morph for odor browse.


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[Assistant] The first, I clarified, doesn't sound conducive to actually forming an alliance. Though I was surprised that Tarkin hadn't responded.


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[Assistant] Even with his blood feud with us, the male I'd met, whom I still admired so much, surely he'd want to ally against Hibern.


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[Assistant] Unless he now wanted to ally with them to ensure Ryze and I were wiped off the map forever. We'll see. Was all Moore said. I blew out of breath through my nose. About last night. It's fine. It's nothing. The swiftness with which she spoke suggested anything but. It's not nothing. You're allowed to feel that way.


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[Assistant] More flopped her hair. Well, it won't help us win this war. No, but I'm not sure what to say. More stared toward the window for a long moment. I understand what Ryze did. The position we were in. Eris's...


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[Assistant] Second he heard of this place, he probably knew what it meant to me.


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[Assistant] There would have been no other asking Price for my father's help in this war. None. Price knew that as well.


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[Assistant] I tried to bring Eris into it to sweeten the deal for my father, to possibly avoid this outcome with Velars all together. I raised my brows in silent question. We talked. Ryze and I, this morning, while Cassian was kicking your ass. I snorted. What about Azrael? So much for my decision to stay out of it. Moro zoomed picking at the melon. Az, he had a tough call to make.


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[Assistant] When heiress found him, he... she chewed on her lip.


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[Assistant] I don't know why I expected him to side with me. Why he caught me so off guard.


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[Assistant] Eris wins. All the males like them win if I let that get to me. If I let it impact my joy, my life, my relationships with all of you. She sighed at the ceiling. I hate war. Likewise.


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[Assistant] Not just for the death and awfulness, Morwennaut, but because of what it does to us. These decisions. I nodded.


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[Assistant] Even if I was only starting to understand the choices and the costs. I opened my mouth, but a knock on the front door sounded. I glanced at the clock in the sitting room across the foyer, right? The healer.


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[Assistant] I'd mentioned to Elaine this morning that Maja was coming to see her at 11, and I'd gotten a non-committal response. Better than outright refusal, I supposed. Are you going to answer the door? Or should I?


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[Assistant] I made a vulgar gesture at the sheer sass of Moore's question, but my friend gripped my hand as I rose from my chair. If you need anything, I'll be right here. I gave Moore a small, grateful smile, as will I.


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[Assistant] She was still smiling at me as I took a deep breath before heading for the entry.


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[Assistant] I believed her, if only because Majo was one of the few high fey I'd seen whose dark skin was etched with wrinkles. Her hair spin drift fine with age.


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[Assistant] Her brown eyes were still clear and kindled with an inner warmth and her knobby hands remained steady as she passed them over Elaine's body while my sister lay patiently, silently on the bed.


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[Assistant] Magic, sweet and cooling had thrummed from the female, filling Elaine's bedroom.


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[Assistant] And when she had gently laid her hands on either side of Elaine's head, the night started.


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[Assistant] Maja only smiled wryly over her thin shoulder and told me to relax.


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[Assistant] Nesta, sharp-eyed in the corner, and kept quiet.


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[Assistant] After a long minute, Maja asked us to join her in fetching Elena a cup of tea. With a pointed glance to the door,


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[Assistant] We both took the invitation and left our sister in her sunlit room. What do you mean nothing is wrong with her?


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[Assistant] Nesta hissed under her breath as an ancient female braced a hand on the stair railing to help herself down. I kept beside the healer, a hand in easy reach of her elbow should she need it.


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[Assistant] Madja, I reminded myself, had healed Cassian and Azrael and countless injuries beyond that. She'd healed Ryze's wing during the war.


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[Assistant] She looked ancient, but I had no doubt of her stamina or sheer will to help her patients.


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[Assistant] Maja didn't deign to answer Nesta until we were at the bottom of the steps. Lucian was already waiting in the sitting room, Maura still lingering in the dining room. Both of them rose to their feet, but remained in their respective rooms, flanking the poyé.


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[Assistant] What I mean? I just said it last, sizing up Nesta than me.


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[Assistant] She is Cauldron Maid, the healer said, again looking over Nesta.


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[Assistant] She shot me a warning glance, and I would not try if I were you, lady.


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[Assistant] Her symptoms match well with many of those invisible wounds, but...


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[Assistant] She was also made by something I do not understand. Is there something wrong with her? Maja chewed over the words. I do not like the word wrong. Different perhaps changed. Does she need further help? Nesta said through her teeth.


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[Assistant] The ancient healer jerked her trend toward Lucian. See what he can do.


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[Assistant] If anyone can sense that something is amiss, it's a mate.


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[Assistant] I brace myself to warn Nesta to be polite, but Ma just said to my sister, as if she were a small child, that a mating mod, it's a bridge between souls.


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[Assistant] The healer's tone made my sister stiffen, but Maja was already hobbling for the front door. She pointed at Lucian as she saw herself out. Try sitting down with her. Just talking. Sensing. See what you pick up, but don't push. Then she was gone.


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[Assistant] I whirled on Nesta. A little respect, Nesta. Call another healer. Not if you're going to bark them out of the house. Call another healer.


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[Assistant] More strode for us with deceptive calm and Nesta gave her a withering glare. It caught Lucian's eye. Would you try it?


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[Assistant] Nesta snarled, don't you even attem- be quiet! I snapped. Nesta blinked. I bared my teeth at her.


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[Assistant] Nesta faced Moore, still watching from the archway. And what will you be doing? Moore gave my sister a half smile.


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[Assistant] I'll be sitting with Phyra, keeping an eye on things.


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[Assistant] Lucian muttered something about not needing to be monitored and we all looked at him with raised brows.


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[Assistant] He just lifted his hands, claimed he wanted to freshen up, and headed down the hall.


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[Assistant] And that my friends was the end of chapter 28. Ooh hoo hoo. Is Lucian, Lucian about to clap? He's, he's about to get that.


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[Assistant] He's about to get that yo girl that made on something with that with Elaine.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Maybe, maybe hopefully help fix whatever, uh, trauma, not even fix, but help mitigate some of the trauma that Elaine may be going through. Um, I, I probably have a lot of trauma myself if I was going through that, you know, I can't.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I can't say that I've been in that situation, but I can empathize that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I would probably be in Elaine's shoes. I would either, I would definitely be either between Nesta or Elaine, uh, either just fueled with rage and pure, just like, vengefulness or, I mean, it just depends, you know, it depends on how...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How I felt going into it when the cauldron happened. So hopefully Lucian can maybe get a little bit of work done and


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hopefully that lets him heal as well, being around his mate, even if it's not like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Relationshipy or anything like that, but maybe he can just help out a little bit. I don't know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But we'll find out next chapter, so y'all make sure to stay beautiful, stay hydrated, and we will see you in that next chapter.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Perhaps the queen would be pleased if you had a party in her honor. You know how much she enjoys dancing. A dancing party?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I believe the queen will be even more pleased if you arrange one especially for her.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A party will give her an opportunity to wear that beautiful diamond sash, which you gave her for her birthday.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The third of October, I think, my King, would be an excellent day. Very well, said the King.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] During the evening of this party he said


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I wish you to wear the diamond sash I gave you on your birthday.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That I have just spent two days and nights in prison?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The Cardinal has told me about all your wild ideas and trouble-making.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes, and I am very well paid for it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Aren't you going to tell me what I need to do in London?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Please, open the door in the street for me and I will come down and see you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When a customer wants one done quickly, I make that a priority over ones where I've been told there's no hurry. There's even one I've had for more than 20 years now. I'm very grateful to that customer for waiting so long. This one arrived a few months ago.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's rusted so badly you cannot tell what the blade is like underneath. You see? But it has a good shape, worth restoring. So I decided to polish one section to check it out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's right, that's right.


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[Assistant] I still like Prison Mike even without the background because I take a lot of joy in imagining Mike spending time in prison. It's a funny thought. It is a funny thought. I think we might have to stick with that anyway.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I didn't see it. I don't think they did, Jay, because I was watching the highlight. After the game, I went back and watched the highlights on MLB and they go back and forth between Chicago and Cleveland. And you never saw an angle. I never saw an angle. You didn't see that he was definitively safe either, but the call was safe. It should have stayed safe. Here's the problem with replay in general through all sports. It's particularly bad in football. We, the reason we started replay in my mind,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes! And now we know, like, it used to just be...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You thought it was faster, but now we have the numbers to prove it. Statcast.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The way they've been, I can't remember exactly what year Statcastly started using it, but they were able to figure it out to the, to the 100th of a second.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, you slow up, yes, your hand might be, is in front of your foot, but when you slide, you're slowing yourself up, not only because you have to slide, but your body hits the ground. In theory, if you had a perfect slide, maybe it would be close, but nobody ever has a perfect slide.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We, I know we got to move on to the, to the Browns, but we do have to have a longer conversation at some point about catcher because again, most catchers are good defensively. I don't care how good he's not the greatest defensive catcher in the history of baseball and he had a bad game yesterday.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wait, here's what's happening guys. He has seen over the last two years some wide receivers that haven't accomplished what he's accomplished in his career get paid 10 plus million dollars and he's like, what the hell, I'm better than those guys. The problem is he's older, he's coming off his worst year, he had injury issues for the first time in his career, and it's a young man's sport.