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[Assistant] And his last singles win was on the July 15th, 2020 episode against Mojo Rawley in 2 minutes 50 seconds as Shorty G. It was the last time he won a singles match and I can't believe Finn Balor beat him. It's a new season.


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[Assistant] I guess so, I mean- It's a brand new audience. That makes sense as well because we had the video package for Veer, who's now like Veer Mahan or something, he's going by his full name, who hasn't won a match since July.


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[Assistant] Uh, also- I'm sorry, he's had- he's won one match since July. Yeah, and that was in September.


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[Assistant] The most notable thing about this is RKBro have new music. Not only do they have new music.


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[Assistant] It's a remix of Randy Orton and Riddle's themes. That's actually good!


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[Assistant] It's not just one of them plays, then someone press stops and play on the other track. It's a genuinely remixed song.


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[Assistant] Ever. Cause none of them have been good. This might be the best one. Let me just write that down.


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[Assistant] The ending of this after the match. The match was what it was. I wasn't that bothered by it. Or impressed by it.


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[Assistant] But after the match, Riddle, like, goes up to Amos, and like, you know, sort of has, like, to have a fight with him. And Amos is so tall, he absolutely kicks the crap out of Matt Riddle. And Randy Orr's just watching?


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[Assistant] So Damien's promo beforehand is when he was talking about Teabag, and he says,


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[Assistant] To the Damian in me. See, yeaah, they are running him as a split personality thing, his titantron is split into two, there's Damian on one side, the priest on the other one. This is the most WWE thing I've ever seen in my life. Fundamentally not understanding what a character is. And just being like,


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[Assistant] They're thinking out loud again. Yeah, tell me, what's the meaning behind your name? It just sounds cool. No, no, no! What's the meaning? And they've come up with this, and it's nonsense.


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[Assistant] And he doesn't need this. And it's, this is one of these situations where the match is good and Damian Priest is going to get over in spite of his terrible gimmick.


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[Assistant] Why isn't Bala the demon all the time?


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[Assistant] Very good match, but I-I stand by. I think Priest is gonna get over despite the crap gimmick they've now given him.


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[Assistant] Of the two. You wanna about the one who's just like, I'm just happy to be here and I'm just gonna back up more fringe.


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[Assistant] It's been so interesting going through the community posts about this and reading the comments because I can reveal that it was 53% 3 out of 5, uh, with 17% saying 2 out of 5, 13% saying 4 out of 5.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But it is interesting reading the comments, because I don't think that scoring this a 2 out of 5 or a 1 out of 5 is fair at all. Because, you know, 4 out of 5, 13%, a 1 out of 5 got 12%. Like, this was never a 1 out of 5 or a 2 out of 5 show, and a lot of the comments are.


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[Assistant] People are just giving us a bad review now because they don't want to like the show. Because this was genuinely probably the best episode of the year.


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[Assistant] But it is, it was better than it was two weeks ago. So that is a massive thumbs up, I guess.


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[Assistant] Apart from his lovely entertainment. And his great voices that he does on No Rolls Barre that never get annoying.


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[Assistant] It's me, isn't it? Ryan Disco Stewart! Yeah! Superkick Nick Mozesco.


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[Assistant] Your Twitter trends are targeted towards you. So, it's not an overall trend. It wasn't like, you know, that sort of a, that sort of thing. However, I like the fact that people dressed up as they're at Halloween. Very nice.


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[Assistant] It's that best. Having said that, you and I thought that there'd be no finish to Bel Air, uh, Bel Air... Becky.


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[Assistant] Could be amazing. Let it play out. Hey, so yeah, Survivor Series is in like three weeks time.


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[Assistant] Yeah, but that's why they're never getting over, because they look so small next to the giant that is Kevin Krapatrick.


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[Assistant] I think the fact that we've had very few chances indicative of how little people really care about this show. I think it's probably going to quite comfortably win Worst Show of the Year in the Observe Awards. Definitely.


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[Assistant] Thank you so much to this episode's sponsor, Geology, making Handsome a habit, using SCIENCE. Six time award winning company they are. Look at this beautiful box that it comes in. The excellent, excellent skincare regime that comes with it. Tailored to you. Take your 30 second quiz, clicking the link in the video description down below, and you'll also get 50% off.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] 30 day trial. And hey, why don't you continue with the 90 day supplies of the product you love the most. Subscribe and save or go à la carte. It's up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, it should be me and Denise, but, uh, Denise has flaked out at me for the last two episodes. So it may be everyone's favourite substitute teacher, SP3, uh, once again. But in theory, Team Danook rides again.


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[Assistant] Doing a prediction stream AND live reactions. It's actually these two handsome buggers doing the live reactions to Full Gear. We didn't get to do All Out together. I know, yeaah. And I was gusted by that as well because I really wanted to watch that, particularly then because I heard it spoiled for me who debuted. But I now get to watch it properly. We might get to see Hangman Page win the title.


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[Assistant] I have not met him. Oh my god, I would explode if I met him.


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[Assistant] No, I don't like dating at all. I don't like the idea of


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[Assistant] Oh, this is my one person and I only share time with this person. No, no. No.


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[Assistant] It is worth it and I have to remember that because being with like fans and doing shows is way more important than being tired.


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[Assistant] No matter what you do, there's, you can never, ever, ever please anyone ever. Ever.


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[Assistant] This is in this category, and this is in this, like, it's like, I wanna be everything, like, shut up. Don't tell me what I can't be, the hell.


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[Assistant] As a solitary being, he attempts to protect his own existence, and that of those who are closest to him.


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[Assistant] To satisfy his personal desires and develop his innate abilities.


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[Assistant] As a social being, he seeks to gain the recognition and affection of his fellow human beings.


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[Assistant] To share in their pleasures, to comfort them in their sorrows, and to improve their conditions of life.


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[Assistant] Only the existence of these varied frequently conflicting striving accounts for the special character of a man and their specific combination


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[Assistant] Determines the extent to which an individual can achieve an inner balance and can contribute to the well-being of society.


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[Assistant] is largely formed by the environment in which a man happens to find himself during his development by the structure of the society in which he grows up by the tradition of that society


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[Assistant] Means to the individual human being the sum total of his direct and indirect relations to his contemporaries and to all the people of earlier generations.


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[Assistant] He depends so much upon society in his physical, intellectual and emotional existence.


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[Assistant] That it is impossible to think of him or to understand him outside the framework of society. It is society which provides man with food, clothing, a home.


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[Assistant] The tools of work, language, the forms of thought, and most of the content of thought.


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[Assistant] His life is made possible through the labor and accomplishments of the many millions past and present.


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[Assistant] Who are all hidden behind the small word, society.


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[Assistant] The witnesses were scared. Nobody says nothing. We wasn't just gonna leave it as it's another unsolved hip-hop crime. Ladies and gentlemen, Johnny Cash.


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[Assistant] Chapter 1 PIP meets a stranger


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[Assistant] But when I was a small child, I could only manage to say Pip. So Pip was what everybody called me. I lived in a small village in Essex with my sister, who was over 20 years older than me, and married to Joe Gargery, the village blacksmith. My parents had died when I was a baby, so I could not remember them at all. But quite often, I used to visit the churchyard.


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[Assistant] About a mile from the village, to look at their names on their gravestones.


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[Assistant] My first memory is of sitting on a gravestone in that churchyard one cold gray December afternoon, looking out at the dark flat wild marshes divided by the black line of the River Thames.


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[Assistant] And listening to the rushing sound of the sea in the distance. Don't say a word.


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[Assistant] Cried a terrible voice, as a man jumped up from among the graves and caught hold of me.


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[Assistant] He was a big man, dressed all in grey, with an iron chain on his leg. His coats were wet and torn. He looked exhausted and hungry and very fierce. I had never been so frightened in my whole life.


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[Assistant] Alright, so right now we are actually standing in front of my land. As you can see, it is pure bush.


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[Assistant] I anticipate in a couple of years, a lot of this bush will be gone. Not just simply my bush, but the area.


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[Assistant] Meaning people are going to come and build. No, I haven't, I haven't even honestly thought about it. I'm just at the process where I'm like, I need to get my cornerstones down.


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[Assistant] Okay Baz, you are up first. Lift the cloche for number one.


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[Assistant] This is Magic Spoon Adult Cereal. Magic Spoon was started by Greg and Gabby the co-founders who met at college and both ate cereal for breakfast every morning. According to their backstory and on their website, they experimented for over a year to create cereal inspired by the flavors and nostalgia of Saturday morning cartoon cereal.


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[Assistant] But upgraded for a 21st century customer.


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[Assistant] So, interestingly, all of the nutritional information and some of the selling points from the front,


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[Assistant] They kinda go out the window if you're not testing this fairly.


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[Assistant] So we've got some scales there, we're gonna see how a Barry-sized bowl actually correlates to the recommending serving suggestion on the box.


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[Assistant] We purchased a variety pack, obviously, and it comes with a magic spoon, so.


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[Assistant] They use a natural blend of monk fruit, which we've spoken about before, stevia and allulose. It tastes like regular sugar, but has almost zero glycemic impact and almost zero calories. And they claim that there is nothing artificial in their cereals.


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[Assistant] How much do you think one of these boxes sells for?


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[Assistant] It could be seen as expensive if you're having it every morning. If you're having it as a treat or a snack. I'm okay with it. Well, let's ask you the question, because everyone's thinking it. Barry, is the Magic Spoon adult cereal a spoonful of magic or a bowl full of tragic?


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[Assistant] Surely, is this packed full of nutrition? I guess, because if astronauts are going to be eating it up in space, it needs to be full of sustenance.


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[Assistant] I getcha. So this isn't like a meal replacement or anything like that. This is just...


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[Assistant] Where's, I assume this is porridge with some banana? Yep, very tasty, but where's the food trend?


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[Assistant] What I personally think I like about it is that we always have the conversation, food is just one endless compromise, uhm, whether that's sustainability, all of those subject matters, how do I as an individual make a difference? And actually, tools like this help you


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Be able to look at two products and go, do you know what? This one is better in an eco-wise or a nutrition-wise or it's no rescore.


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[Assistant] This is my way of having an impact as an individual. I like it.


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[Assistant] But can I trust the algorithm that's put that information together?


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[Assistant] That kind of also, as an ice cream and a brand, not a, not a new trend. No, so what are we looking at?


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[Assistant] I have a question. The vegan ice cream, kinda get it. Oat based. Dairy ice cream, carbon negative.


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[Assistant] Knowing that what I know about cows and the impact of farming cattle on the environment.


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[Assistant] Well, this is the last day of school. Tomorrow morning we'll be on our way. It's our vacation and we're going to Kyu on a holiday. Eh, that's a nice bus ride. Not for us, we're hiking. All the way? Well, of course. It'll only take us four or five days. Only. Marina is going? Yes, Marina and Claudia and Gratia, my brother. Unfortunately.


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[Assistant] Kolya says we'll go to the theater when we get to Kiev. All we have to do is apply for the tickets. We'll have three whole days in Kiev. We'll just see everything. It's been a good year. Scholarship to the university, of course, means the most. There was a medal for marksmanship. And now there's vacation.


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[Assistant] I'll tell you in my own time, but I'll not tell you to waste time. Here Marina, you and I are like one person. I always thought you wanted both of us to be educated.


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[Assistant] You'll, uhm, you'll put the dresses away for a while.


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[Assistant] What are you carrying on about? You can all hear it. They're planes. You ought to know what planes sound like. They're mini planes. They're not bombs.


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[Assistant] Yes, that's the track. Carp hasn't seen these hills for ten years. But he remembered them as if... We'll go straight through without stopping. And we'll be there. We'll have done our work. Yes. Your face has changed.


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[Assistant] Not this time. We'll be climbing. It'll be hard. You'll sleep on my shoulder. That'll make me feel good, sure of myself.


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[Assistant] I'm going through the woods, to this side. As a group of motorcycles come around this turn, I'm going to fire at them. That'll stop the column.


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[Assistant] Come on, club, dear. I'll watch your face. Dirty.


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[Assistant] I'll get through all right. Now, do your best. Don't be frightened. Fear is a bad enemy. Let's hope people have told me.


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[Assistant] Hope! Who goes there? Me, Dr. Colum. Advance to be recognized.


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[Assistant] The internet alone does not make up the new economy, though it is an integral part of it. American President Bill Clinton has defined the new economy as an economy that's fueled by technology, driven by entrepreneurship and innovations.


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[Assistant] Technology, entrepreneurship, and innovations are key words that sum up the new era.


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[Assistant] The new economy has also led to the mushrooming of IT or internet-related firms as though the mere setting up of such a company is a guarantee of high profits.


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[Assistant] This means businesses must have good human resource management practices so as not to elapse talented employees.


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[Assistant] There are two ways to do this. First, an atmosphere that encourages innovations must be created. Employees should not be penalized for new ideas that fail, but must be rewarded for those that work.


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[Assistant] Besides workers must be made to feel that they can enjoy reasonable benefits.


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[Assistant] Technology is a tool, and a change in mindset is required to do away with a hierarchical system.


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[Assistant] A flat organization reduces the layers of management.


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[Assistant] This is absolutely fine if every worker is capable of thinking and working on his own.


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[Assistant] But there are many who feel insecure when they can no longer rely on others. They will have to learn the new mode of thinking.


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[Assistant] Workers need to develop the habit of independent thinking, but this will be a gradual learning process.


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[Assistant] While many may end up as losers in the new economy,


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[Assistant] The winners will reap increasingly huge profits, invariably,


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[Assistant] The winners will be those prepared to embrace technology, entrepreneurship, and innovations.


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[Assistant] The really weird, runny poop. I'm just kidding. We can stop with all those metaphors.


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[Assistant] I mean, if you see two in two weeks, one in 500 year storms, I think we can realistically, does that mean they're going to happen during hurricane season every week? No. Does it, you know, increases, does it make you think that we're probably gonna see


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[Assistant] Overall, entire hurricane season, two to three of these, I think realistically, yeaah.


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[Assistant] You know, you have to be that much of a moron to not accept that that's reality.


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[Assistant] We're talking about 98, 99% of scientists. So you could also believe, you also could have stood out there and said, uh, the eclipse is never going to happen. That would have been just as smart. I mean, we kind of need to stop.


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[Assistant] And I don't say necessarily we as a few people talking on this show, but all of us accepting climate deniers in terms of where we should treat them with respect.


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[Assistant] We need to treat them like the imbeciles they are because they're getting all of us killed. Uhm, and they need to be, they need to be, you know, mocked and insulted.


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[Assistant] Because that's what you're looking at, and it's, it's acute in the southern states even more. Uhm, he pointed it out, I mean look, when these things hit developing countries,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The people always who suffer the most are the ones who lack the resources, as you were pointing out. I mean, if you don't have, you know, have a car.


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[Assistant] So the entire, frankly, Republican ideology we've been living under for 40 years now, you know, uh, of just cutting government, cutting taxes, is stupid. It's not ma-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You need to build up infrastructure to protect people. You need to build up all sorts of...


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[Assistant] Uh, you know, regulations so they can blow up when there's a fucking flood.


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[Assistant] This is really important because as soon as you put up Rush Limbaugh, I want to say that this storm now, the worst of it, is headed directly for Rush Limbaugh and Coulter.


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[Assistant] And I hope afterwards, anybody who's there among you, who has a cell phone, please go out and take imagery of it. So we can see what the hoax does.


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[Assistant] It may be tough through all the gates and everything to get to Rush Limbaugh's house, but if there's a vantage point somewhere, you can get imagery of it.


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[Assistant] It's too late for you to leave. And again, there's one other thing. You're dealing with here. I mean, this is what I think people often, you know, on often who are on the left and really almost anywhere where censors, I go through it that you forget that these people, kind of like our president, these people don't


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[Assistant] Spring from the same sort of moral system most of us come from. They're missing something.


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[Assistant] And so to them, it's all part of the same game. If they can make money, you know, if people get killed, that's okay. They feel no responsibility for it. And I think it's a hard thing often for people to grasp what kinds of people you're dealing with here. You doesn't care.


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[Assistant] I mean, it makes no difference to him. The only re- if 10 people die in Florida because they listen to him, or 20 people and don't leave their homes, the only way that bothers him is you get 10 or 20 fewer listeners.


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[Assistant] It is. And again, when you're, when you deregulate like crazy and you've got people, you know, like Greg Abbott, Rick Scott as governors of these places.


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[Assistant] Uhm, you know, and, and all this stuff comes together, and in the end,


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[Assistant] Of course. I mean, if I could sort of direct the hurricane just to those four houses, that would be great.


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[Assistant] You know, they were still cleaning up. This was 1997. Yes, folks. That was 20 years ago and I am not young. Uhm, and,


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[Assistant] You know, I'll never forget that, that there were still parts, cause some of those, you know, islands


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[Assistant] So in this, in this he would either, would he run for office or they would use the...


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[Assistant] The exception where they're allowed to actually have the speaker of the house be a non-


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[Assistant] You know, and, and they get away with it and they cause, they basically make...


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[Assistant] Because of, of how stupid he is and how, you know, naive he is and the rest of it.


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[Assistant] And the fact that he's not tied to the Republican Party now creates danger in other places.


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[Assistant] You know, have absolutely nothing to lose voting against their own party on this.


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[Assistant] No, but they are always put in that tight spot, right? Which is why you don't want DACA to even come up.


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[Assistant] Is terrible and, and we could talk about that for a whole show, how heartless what the, you know, what Trump and Sessions and these guys did. But on the politically, on the, on the political side, I mean, it's, it's.


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[Assistant] They're going to lose Trump loyalists, so they're going to lose, you know, quite, you know, often more moderate-ish and certainly...


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[Assistant] You know, I think if you played this game, you're right. You played Trump against the Republican Congress and you play the Republican Congress against Trump.


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[Assistant] That they planned, you know, that he and his dad planned to write that


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[Assistant] Uhm, you do need, I mean, in terms of actually, uhm,


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[Assistant] He can survive, even if he were to be impeached in the House. He would not be found guilty of it in the Senate. Who knows? I don't know. Dude, figuring this guy out is incredible.


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[Assistant] Yeah, you need a panel of psychiatrists. I don't think we're all... I can, I can...


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[Assistant] Policy-wise, politically, I think with some, you know, with some, hopefully with some insight. What's going on in his head? Harder thing to grasp. I mean...


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[Assistant] You know, maybe you dig in with your 30%, but I mean, but I mean, even when you've got even Ann Coulter attacking you on Twitter, then people like that are mad at you.


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[Assistant] From the right, because you were willing to join Democrats in a way you're, you're pissing on your base by doing this.


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[Assistant] Now remember, he convinced a couple Latino-Latino Republicans, Curbelo comes to mind, or Cabello, however you pronounce his name. My apologies for not knowing.


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[Assistant] And a few others voted for that repeal bill and since then, of course, Trump has made his position clear on DACA.


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[Assistant] So, you know, being at that bill barely passed the House if I'm a Democrat.


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[Assistant] One, uh, you know, uh, Reichert there, a couple others, and then dead in the house. So.


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[Assistant] Let me give an honor, can I, can I say something here that will piss everybody off?


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[Assistant] And you know what? We both, we both voted for Hillary in the primaries. We both were very supportive of Bernie. I criticized Bernie at times. Uhm, I also was critical of Hillary at times. But I gotta say, with all of this,


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[Assistant] I, and so I think we both had some credibility on this issue because


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[Assistant] We did our podcast and most of it was saying, why Hillary? Why now? Why this? Why is this necessary? But, you know, if I am going to say that, I am going to say also,


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[Assistant] There are people I still see, like Nina Turner, on the left, you know, on the Bernie side, that just won't shut up at attacking people.


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[Assistant] Let me finish this one thought, which is, well, everybody just shut the fuck up. That is my point, which is...


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[Assistant] I'm just tired of people who, on our side, who are behaving like Republicans, putting themselves in their corner and saying, I'm a Bernie guy, or I'm a Hillary guy, or gal, or you know, whatever, and not willing to look at the evidence that this is all nuanced. And these people fought a battle.


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[Assistant] And they, and one of them won, one of them lost. We got Donald Trump as president.


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[Assistant] I'm just tired of all this crap. I'm tired of it on both sides. I will say this was a stupid thing for Hillary Clinton to do.


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[Assistant] You want us to live in a democracy, folks? I mean, you want us to, you want us to go full-on oligarchy? Uh, you want us to have a half a dozen?


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[Assistant] Troop engagements, uh, in other countries, keep up with this crap. Keep fighting each other. I'm sure that Donald Trump holds on to Congress and wins again. That'll be really helpful.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sorry, I'll find you. Uhm, Kelly, seriously, congrats. Good luck.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's a, there's a thing you can still, you can still Google it called Republican Sex Capades.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, you know, Dennis, it's kind of interesting because you always hear people trying to work their way through the logic of, do I stay, do I go? You know, so if Dennis Miller was living in the state of Florida, well when do you call it, when do you decide, you know what, that hurricane's a little bit, uh, it's a little bit too big and a little bit too uncomfortable for me, therefore it's, uh, it's time to hit the road.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, w-w-would you hear that kind of logic? And you hear that, you know, politics have...


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[Assistant] Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hey, so, I mean, obviously you were a tremendous consumer of media. You had a brilliant talk show that actually was on this station.


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[Assistant] I would like to give you an opportunity, now uhm, we have a fishbowl and it's got, uh, real quotes from Donald Trump, okay? Okay. And, uh, my challenge to you is can you read these without cracking a smile, with a straight face? Now these are actual quotes, you will select them randomly from this bowl.


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[Assistant] Yeah, take whatever you like, alright. Here we go. Alright, these again are actual quotes.


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[Assistant] Thanks for watching. If you liked that, subscribe to our YouTube channel for all the latest videos. And if you didn't, subscribe anyway. It's free, who cares?


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[Assistant] Well, it's true, if you set aside the human misery, this loan has the potential to cause. As part of an over-collateralized security, this can be sold as a, as a, as a hot, hot,


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[Assistant] The key to living a life of love, peace, happiness, and prosperity is to live from your heart.


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[Assistant] Though barriers may sometimes stand in the way of your dreams, remember that your destiny is hiding behind them. Accept the fact that not everyone is going to approve of the choices you've made. Have faith in your judgment. Catch the star that twinkles in your heart.


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[Assistant] And it will lead you to your destiny's path.


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[Assistant] I took the most beautiful girl to the prom. She was like the cheerleader, all this type of thing.


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[Assistant] Oh, I remember she came down and, oh, it was just, just a nicely fitted top like this. And, but flowing, flowing like, not a bridle down, but you know, very nice.


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[Assistant] And woah, her gown really stuck in my mind and of course...


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[Assistant] Well you walk in and oh, you can smell dirty underwear and dirty socks and dirty, it's a gym.


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[Assistant] And then you got to see everybody you knew looking like a bum every day, all of a sudden the girls, here I go again, the girls coming in with...


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[Assistant] Like wow, you know, and then the guy's tuxedos or whatever, but woah.


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[Assistant] My, at that time, you're totally straight. I was expelled from high school twice for having sex with a girl in the bathroom.


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[Assistant] I tried to look back, I didn't have gay feelings, I never looked at men, or I never, but, now that I know I am, I think people knew where I didn't.


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[Assistant] You know, when I, like, you don't really know yourself, I wonder, well, holy fuck, like, how?


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[Assistant] How did I not know? Like, everybody must have known. But I didn't hide it because I didn't know.


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[Assistant] Who? Come on, open up that steel safe. I wanna know and I wanna help. I can't, baby.


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[Assistant] I like those odds. I'll take them. And I'm staying. Whatever this is, I've got a feeling you can handle it. And I like your style, Mr. Gault.


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[Assistant] Oh, yes you would. Cause I'm playing for keeps, remember?


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[Assistant] I decided to wait. I don't want you to be in that corner pocket all alone.


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[Assistant] You're not so tough, Brad. You just think you are. I cracked you wide open and you know it.


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[Assistant] Oh, no thank you. If you're feeling that much better, I think I better go home now.


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[Assistant] That's a pretty long list. We'll each take half of it.


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[Assistant] Cascara at the galleries. Cascara. You don't even get cascara at the galleries.


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[Assistant] Brad, there's an art gallery. I've seen the red in the paper. It's on 5th Avenue.


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[Assistant] My father has asked me to be the fourth corner of the Joy Luck Club. I am to replace my mother.


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[Assistant] Whose seat at the match on table has been empty since she died two months ago.


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[Assistant] My father thinks she was killed by her own thoughts.


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[Assistant] She had a new idea inside her head, said my father.


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[Assistant] But before it could come out of her mouth, the thought grew too big and burst. It must have been a very bad idea.


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[Assistant] The doctor said she died of facerebro aneurysm.


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[Assistant] And her friends at the Jeweller Club said she died just like a rabbit. Quickly and with unfinished business left behind.


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[Assistant] My mother was supposed to host the next meeting of the Joy Luck Club. The week before she died, she called me, fool of pride, fool of life.


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[Assistant] Auntie Ling cooked red bean soup for Joy Luck. I'm going to cook black sesame seed soup. Don't show off, I said. It's not show off.


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[Assistant] It was one of those Chinese expressions that means the better half of mixed intentions.


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[Assistant] My mother started the San Francisco version of the Joy La Club in 1949, two years before I was born.


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[Assistant] This was the year my mother and father left China with one stiff leather trunk filled only with fancy silk dresses.


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[Assistant] There was no time to pack anything else.


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[Assistant] My mother had explained to my father after they boarded the boat.


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[Assistant] Still, his hands swam frantically between the slippery skills, the slippery silks, looking for his cotton shirts and wool pants.


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[Assistant] When they arrived in San Francisco, my father made her hide those shiny clothes.


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[Assistant] She wore the same brown checked Chinese dress until the Refugee Welcome Society gave her two hand-me-down dresses. All too large in sizes for American women.


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[Assistant] This society was composed of a group of white-haired American missionary ladies from the First Chinese Baptist Church.


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[Assistant] And because of their gifts, my parents could not refuse their invitation to join the church.


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[Assistant] Nor could they ignore the old lady's practical advice to improve their English through Bible study class on Wednesday nights and later through choir practice on Saturday mornings.


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[Assistant] This was how my parents met the Chu's, the Zhuang's, and the Saint Claire's.


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[Assistant] My mother could sense that the women of these families also had unspeakable tragedies they had left behind in China and hopes they couldn't begin to express in their fragile English.


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[Assistant] Or at least, my mother recognized the numbness in the women's faces and she saw how quickly their eyes moved when she told them her idea for the Joy Luck Club.


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[Assistant] Joy Luck was an idea my mother remembered from the days of her first marriage in Guilin, before the Japanese came.


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[Assistant] That's why I think of Joy Luck as her Guiling story.


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[Assistant] It was a story she would always tell me when she was bored. When there was nothing to do.


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[Assistant] When every bowl had been wa- had been washed and the Formica table had been wiped down twice.


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[Assistant] When my father sat reading the newspaper and smoking one Paul Mo cigarette after another. A warning not to disturb him.


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[Assistant] This is when my mother would take out a box of old ski sweaters sent to us by unseen relatives from Vancouver.


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[Assistant] She would sneak the bottom of a sweater and pull out a king-y thread of yarn, anchoring it to a piece of cardboard. And as she began to row with one sweeping rhythm, she would start a story.


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[Assistant] Casting long shadows into her life, and eventually, it's mine.


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[Assistant] And told me to go quickly to my husband in Chongqing. And I knew he was telling me to run away from Guilin.


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[Assistant] She bribed a man to steal a wheelbarrow used to hold co. She promised to warn our other friends.


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[Assistant] I packed my things and my two babies into this wheelbarrow and began pushing to Chongqing four days before the Japanese marched into Guilin.


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[Assistant] On the road, I heard news of the slaughter from people running past me. It was terrible.


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[Assistant] Up to the last day, the Kuomintang insisted that Guilin was safe, protected by the Chinese army. But later that day, the streets of Guilin were strewn with newspapers reporting great Kuomintang victories, and on top of these papers, like fresh fish from a butcher, lay rows of people, men,


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[Assistant] Women and children who had never lost hope, but had lost their lives instead.


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[Assistant] When I heard this news, I walked faster and faster, asking myself at each step, were they foolish? Were they brave?


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[Assistant] I pushed toward Chongqing until my will broke.


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[Assistant] I abandoned my beautiful mahjong table of Hong Mu.


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[Assistant] But then, I didn't have enough feeling left in my body to cry.


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[Assistant] I tied scarves into slings and put a baby on each side of my shoulder.


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[Assistant] I carried a bag in each hand. One was clothes, the other was food. I carried these things until deep grooves grew in my hands.


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[Assistant] And I finally dropped one bag after the other when my hands began to bleed and became too slippery to hold on to anything.


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[Assistant] Along the way, I saw others had done the same, gradually giving up hope.


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[Assistant] It was like a pathway inlaid with treasures that grew in value along the way. Boats of fine fabric and books.


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[Assistant] Paintings of ancestors and carpenter tools.


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[Assistant] And she one could see cages of ducklings now quiet, with thirst and later stew, silver urns lying in the road.


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[Assistant] Where people have been too tired to carry them for any kind of future hope.


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[Assistant] By the time I arrived in Chongqing I had lost everything except for three fancy silk dresses which I wore one on top of the other. What do you mean by everything? I gasped at the end. I was stunned.


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[Assistant] To realize the story had been true all along. What happened to the babies?


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[Assistant] She simply said in a way that made it clear there was no more to the story.


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[Assistant] Your father is not my first husband. You're not those babies.


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[Assistant] When I arrived at the Two's house, where the Joy Luck Club is meeting tonight,


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[Assistant] The first person I see is my father. There she is, never on time. He announces. And it's true. Everybody's already here.


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[Assistant] 7 family friends in their 60s and 70s. They look up and laugh at me. Always tardy. A child stew at 36. I'm shaking. Trying to hold something inside.


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[Assistant] The last time I saw them at the funeral, I had broken down and cried big goping sobs.


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[Assistant] I must wonder now how someone like me can take my mother's place.


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[Assistant] A friend once told me that my mother and I were alike. That we had the same wispy hand gestures, the same girlish laugh and sideways look.


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[Assistant] When I shyly told my mother this, she seemed insulted and said, you don't even know little percent of me. How can you be me? And she's right. How can I be my mother at Joy Luck? Auntie, uncle, I said repeatedly, nodding to each person there.


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[Assistant] I've always called these old family friends Auntie and Uncle, and then I walk over and stand next to my father.


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[Assistant] He's looking at the Jones pictures from their recent China trip.


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[Assistant] Pointing to a photo of the John's to a group, standing on wide, slapped steps.


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[Assistant] There's nothing in this picture that shows it was taken in China rather than in San Francisco, or any other city for that matter. But my father doesn't seem to be looking at the picture anyway.


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[Assistant] It's as though everything were the same to him, nothing stands out. He has always been politely indifferent.


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[Assistant] That's how troubled I think he is by my mother's death.


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[Assistant] Will you look at that? He says, pointing to another non-descript picture.


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[Assistant] The Tsu's house feels heavy with greasy oar doors.


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[Assistant] Too many Chinese meals cooked in a too small kitchen?


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[Assistant] Too many once-fragrant smells compressed into a thin layer of invisible grease.


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[Assistant] I remember how my mother used to go into other people's houses and restaurants and wrinkle their nose. I wrinkle her nose. Then whisper very loudly. I can see and feel the stickiness with my nose.


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[Assistant] When Auntie Anne May and Uncle George moved to the Sunset District from Chinatown 25 years ago, they bought new furniture. It's all there.


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[Assistant] Still looking mostly new under yellowed plastic.


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[Assistant] The same turquoise couch shaped in the semicircle of nubby twit.


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[Assistant] The clonial and tables made out of heavy maple. A lamp of fake cracked porcelain.


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[Assistant] Only the Scrolllands calendar, free from the Bank of Canton, changes every year.


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[Assistant] Because when we were children, Auntie Anne May didn't let us touch any of her new furniture except through the clear plastic coverings.


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[Assistant] On Joy Luck Nights, my parents brought me to the twos. Since I was the guest, I had to take care of all the younger children. So, many children, it seemed.


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[Assistant] As if there were always one baby who was crying from having bumped its head on a table leg.


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[Assistant] You're responsible, said my mother, which meant I was in trouble if anything was spelt, burned, lost, broken, or dirty. I was responsible, no matter who did it.


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[Assistant] She and Auntie Anne Mei were dressed up in funny Chinese dresses with stiff stand-up collars and blooming branches of embroidered silk soon over their breasts.


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[Assistant] These clothes were too fancy for real Chinese people, I thought. And too strange for American parties.


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[Assistant] In those days, before my mother told me her guiling story, I imagined Joy Luck was a shameful Chinese custom, like the secret gathering of the cool class plan or the tom-tom dances of TV Indians preparing for war.


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[Assistant] The Joy Luck aunties are all wearing slacks, bright pink blouses, and different versions of sturdy walking shoes.


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[Assistant] We're all seated around the dining room table under a lamp that looks like a Spanish candelabra.


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[Assistant] We sold Sabu for a loss at six and three quarters.


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[Assistant] We bought a hundred shares of Smith's International at 7. Our thanks to Ling Do and Jing Dong. Jing and Ting John for the goodies. The red bean soup was especially delicious.


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[Assistant] The March meeting had to be cancelled and to further notice.


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[Assistant] We were sorry to have to bid a fond farewell to our dear friend Suyeon and extended our sympathy to the Canning Wu family.


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[Assistant] Respectfully submitted, George Hsu, President and Secretary. That's it.


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[Assistant] I keep thinking the others will start talking about my mother.


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[Assistant] The wonderful relationship they shared, and why I am here in their inner spirit, to be the fourth corner and carry on the idea my mother came up was on, a hot day in Guilin.


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[Assistant] Even my father's head bops up and down routinely.


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[Assistant] And it seems to me my mother's life has been shoved for new business.


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[Assistant] Auntie Anne May heaves herself up from the table and moves slowly to the kitchen to prepare the food.


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[Assistant] And Auntie Lang, my mother's best friend, moves to the turquoise sofa, crosses her arms, and watches the man stu-sitted at the table.


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[Assistant] Auntie Ying, who seems to shrink even more every time I see her, reaches into her knitting bag and pulls out the start of a tiny blue sweater.


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[Assistant] The Joy Luck Uncles began to talk about stocks they're interested in buying.


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[Assistant] Uncle Jack, who is Auntie Ying's younger brother, is very keen on a company that mines gold in Canada. It's a great hatch on inflation, he says with authority.


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[Assistant] I think my mother's English was the worst, but she always thought our Chinese was the best.


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[Assistant] She spoke Mandarin slightly blurred with a Shanghai dialect. Weren't we going to play mahjong tonight? I whispered loudly to Auntie Yen, who is slightly deaf. Later, she said, after midnight. Ladies, are you at this meeting or not? Says Uncle George. After everybody votes, a night anonymously for the Canada Gold Stock.


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[Assistant] She's stuffing Wooten, one chopstick jab of gingerly meat dabbed onto a thin skin and then a single fluid turn, with her hand that seals the skin into the shape of a tiny nurse cap. You can't have luck when someone else is skill.


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[Assistant] So long time ago, we decided to invest in the stock market. There's no skill in that. Even your mother agreed.


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[Assistant] Auntie Anne May takes count of the tray in front of her. She's already made five rows of eight, one on each.


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[Assistant] 41 ton, 8 people, 10 each, 5 row more. She says a lot to herself, and then continues stuffing. We got smart. Now we can all win and lose equally. We can have stock market luck, and we can play mahjong for fun, just for a few dollars.


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[Assistant] Winner take all. Losers take home leftovers. So everyone can have some joy. Smart, huh? I watch Auntie Anne May make more wanton. She has quick, expert fingers. She doesn't have to think about what she's doing.


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[Assistant] Last week, I had a good idea for her. I said to her, let's go to the consult late and ask for papers for your brother.


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[Assistant] And that person told her she can't get her brother in bad trouble in China.


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[Assistant] That person said FBI will put her on a list and gave her trouble in the US the rest of her life.


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[Assistant] That person said, you asked for a house loan, and they said no loan, because your brother is in communist. I said, you already have a house, but Stu, she was scared.


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[Assistant] Auntie M. May runs this way and that, said my mother, and she doesn't know why.


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[Assistant] As I watch Auntie Anne May, I see a short-bent woman in her seventies with a heavy bosom and thin, shapeless legs.


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[Assistant] She has the flattened soft fingertips of an old woman.


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[Assistant] I wonder that Auntie Anne made it to inspire a lifelong stream of criticism from my mother. Then again.


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[Assistant] It seemed my mother was always displeased with all her friends, with me, and even with my father. Something was always missing. Something always needed improving. Something was not in balance. This one or that


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[Assistant] The elements were from my mother's own version of organic chemistry.


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[Assistant] Each person is made up of five elements, she told me. Too much fire and you had a bad tamper.


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[Assistant] That was like my father, whom my mother always criticized for his cigarette habit and who always shouted back that she should keep her thoughts to herself.


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[Assistant] I think he now feels guilty that he didn't let my mother speak her mind.


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[Assistant] Too little wood and you bent too quickly to listen to other people's ideas? Unable to stand on your own. This was like my Auntie Anne May.


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[Assistant] Too much water and you float in too many directions. Like myself. For having started half a degree in biology.


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[Assistant] Then have a degree in art and then finishing neither when I went off to work for a small ad agency as a secretary, later becoming a copywriter.


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[Assistant] I used to dismiss her criticisms as just moral for Chinese superstitions.


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[Assistant] Beliefs that conveniently fit the circumstances.


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[Assistant] In my 20s, while taking introductions to psychology, I tried to tell her why she shouldn't criticize so much.


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[Assistant] There's a school of thought, I said, that parents should criticize children. They should encourage instead. You know.


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[Assistant] People rise to other people's expectations and when you criticize it just means you're expecting failure.


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[Assistant] That's the trouble, my mother said. You never rise. Lazy to get up, lazy to rise to expectations.


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[Assistant] Time to eat. Auntie Anne made happily an answers. Brain out a steaming pot of the wonton she was just wrapping.


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[Assistant] There are piles of food on the table, served buffet style, just like at the Guilin feasts.


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[Assistant] My father is digging into the chow mein, which still sits in an oversized aluminum pan surrounded by little plastic packets of soil sauce.


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[Assistant] Auntie Anne May must have bought this on Clement Street.


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[Assistant] The wonton soup smells wonderful with delicate sprigs of cilantro floating on top.


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[Assistant] I'm drawn first to a large platter of chasbui.


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[Assistant] And then to a whole assortment of what I've always called finger goodies.


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[Assistant] Thing skinned pastries filled with chopped pork


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[Assistant] Beef, shrimp, and unknown stuffings that my mother used to describe as nutritious things.


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[Assistant] Eating is not a gracious event here. It's as though everybody had been starving. They push large forkfuls into their mouth, jab at more pieces of pork, one right after the other. They're not like the ladies of Guilin.


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[Assistant] Who I always imagined savored their food with a certain detached delicacy.


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[Assistant] And then, almost as quickly as they started, the men get up and leave the table. As if on cue.


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[Assistant] The women pack at last morsels and then carry plates and bows to the kitchen and dump them in the sink.


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[Assistant] Then they move toward a room in the back of the apartment. We pass another room.


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[Assistant] What used to be the bedroom shared by the four two sons. The bonk beds with their scuffed, splintery ladders are still there.


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[Assistant] The droid luck uncles are already seated at the card table. Uncle Drudge is dealing out cards.


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[Assistant] Fast, as though he learned this technique in a casino.


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[Assistant] My father's passing out Paul Moll cigarettes was one already dangling from his hips. From his lips.


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[Assistant] Which was once shared by the three two girls.


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[Assistant] We were all childhood friends, and now they're all grown and married, and I'm here to play in their room again. Except for the smell of camphor, it feels the same. As it rose. Ruth.


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[Assistant] And Janice might soon walk in with her hair rolled up in big orange juice cans and plop down on their identical narrow beds.


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[Assistant] Rose and I used to pluck the nubs out while talking about our boy problems. Everything's the same, except now.


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[Assistant] A long black pole with three oval spotlights attached like the broad leaves of a rubber plant.


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[Assistant] Nobody says to me, sit here. This is where your mother used to sit.


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[Assistant] But I can tell, even before everyone sits down, the chair closes to the door and has an emptiness to it. But the feeling doesn't really have to do with the chair. It's her place on the table.


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[Assistant] Without having anyone tell me, I know her corner on the table was the east.


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[Assistant] He hit me across the legs with his stable brush if I didn't move quickly. I hated him.


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[Assistant] And one day when he made me angry, I bit him. He never came into my stall after that. And I was soon sold again.


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[Assistant] And said he thought he knew one place where I should do well.


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[Assistant] It's wrong for a fine horse to go bad like that," he said, and I was brought here, not long before you came.


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[Assistant] Of course, it's very different here. But who knows how long it will last. I've decided


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[Assistant] That all men are my natural enemies.


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[Assistant] I was sorry for Ginger. But as the weeks went on, she became happier and more gentle.


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[Assistant] I do believe Ginger's getting quite fond of me, James said one day. She'll be as good as black beauty one day, replied John. Kindness is all she needs, poor thing.


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[Assistant] That's right, Mr. Kang. When I bought a used car last time, you envied me a lot.


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[Assistant] The president's budget hits his own voters the hardest, taking aim at the social safety net on which many of them rely. It's all there on Trump's new hat. Make the poor live on squirrel meat again.


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[Assistant] Mike Mulvaney told reporters, we are no longer going to measure compassion by the number of programs or the number of people on those programs. We're gonna measure compassion by the number of people we help get off those programs.


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[Assistant] Speaking of things that keep spreading, the Russia investigation is only getting worse for the president. Last night, we found out that back in March, after James Comey testified before Congress that there was an investigation into collusion between the Russians and the Trump team,


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[Assistant] Trump asked the Director of National Intelligence and the head of the NSA to publicly deny evidence of Russia collusion. Fellas, you know that thing I'm totally innocent of? Could you crush that before it gets out?


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[Assistant] Just like Comey, the intelligence directors Trump talked to refused to help. So why did Trump ask them? According to one senior intelligence official, Trump's goal was to muddy the waters. Okay, I'm gonna go straight. It goes drain the swamp, then muddy the waters. Muddy the waters, by the way. Muddy the waters.


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[Assistant] Okay, that might have been boring, but what he just said is super important. Okay, basically, he's saying he knows that Russia tried to recruit members of the Trump campaign, he's not sure if they did. That's like saying, we know the mob tried to cut your brake cables, we just don't know if they succeeded. Here are the keys, have a great drive.


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[Assistant] I really have to say like harp is one of the most beautiful instruments I think in the world. It like hits you in a different place than I think anything else does.


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[Assistant] Uhm, I almost cried. Did you see me? Ariana. You have a talent and a gift? That shit is rare as hell, bro. And you're killing it.


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[Assistant] That's so impressive, bro. He is so sweet. Oh my gosh. I really hope Ariana.


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[Assistant] She has really good pitch. That is fucking crazy. I mean, come on.


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[Assistant] Kiara and Alessa, both of you have incredible eyebrows, first off. And your voices are unbelievable.


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[Assistant] Piano's like the first instrument I learned. I think piano and ukulele. Honestly, piano is a difficult fucking instrument, bro. For real.


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[Assistant] The Theorist. It's impressive, man. Talented as hell, what the fuck. Damn, he was just playing the piano like nobody's business.


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[Assistant] Piano is a difficult fucking instrument, bro. For real.


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[Assistant] The Theorist. It's impressive, man. Damn. He was just playing the piano like nobody's business.


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[Assistant] Daisy, I'm just trying to go home and take a bath. Listen to Daisy. Sing me to sleep, Daisy. With that beautiful ass voice of yours.


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[Assistant] Abby, dude the emotion you have, oh my god. I feel like I could like feel it.


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[Assistant] From wherever you were taking that video, I can like feel it, like it's like, it's like right here.


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[Assistant] That's how it feels and that's like, to have that element when you have any sort of form of art is like beautiful.


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[Assistant] Pretty. I just want it to be artistically perfect. You can already tell that that requires so much talent to be able to like, sit there and do every single part yourself. That is impressive as hell.


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[Assistant] If there's a song that for you is like, you hear it and you're like, ah.


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[Assistant] Yeah, I made it, I wrote it, I sang it, but it's your song from here on out. It's just such a beautiful thing that you can just take art that was created out of love from that person and love it for your own reasons. I love you guys. Mwah.


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[Assistant] Wait, wait, wait. Off of play, hold on.


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[Assistant] For each human soul must find the secret in its own faith.


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[Assistant] The tender and haunting legend of the portrait of Jenny is based on the two ingredients of faith. Truth and hope.


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[Assistant] There is such a portrait that hung in the Metropolitan Museum in New York.


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[Assistant] Science tells us that nothing ever dies, but only changes.


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[Assistant] The time itself does not pass, but curves around us. And that the past and the future are together at our side forever.


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[Assistant] Out of the shadows of knowledge and out of a painting that hung on a museum wall comes our story. The truth of which lies not on our screen, but in your heart.


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[Assistant] But there weren't no other boats at all but out from any place around these parts that day. And you can bitch your boots on that.


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[Assistant] I'm ready to milk him. Let's get to it. Now, before we get started, just so you know, this video is part of a larger old view packet for AP US history. It's got everything you need to get an A in your class and a five on your exam in May. So,


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[Assistant] First, the French were almost completely ousted from North America, and the Louisiana Territory was given to Spain. Second, and perhaps most significant, is that the British more than doubled their land holdings on the North American continent, gaining all the land east of the Mississippi River. Now remember, we're trying to figure out how the folks on this continent went from being a string of colonies to an independent nation. And it's at the end of the French and Indian War where the dominoes really start to fall.


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[Assistant] And so even when colonists flouted laws like the Navigation Act, which we looked at back in Unit 2, Britain largely just turned a blind eye to it.


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[Assistant] Well, there was also an existing tax on molasses, which the British decided at this point they were going to start enforcing. Perhaps most odious of all was the Stamp Act of 1765. There was a tax on all paper items like newspapers and playing cards and contracts, and it was especially threatening to the colonists because during this year they were experiencing declining wages and a rise in unemployment. And it was at this that the debate really heated up in the colonies about whether it was just to tax the colonists if they were not represented in Parliament. And British leaders countered this line of argument by saying that the colonists


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[Assistant] 27 delegates from 9 colonies assembled in New York in what became known as the Stamp Act Congress.


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[Assistant] And the only reason you have it is because I let you have it. So for the colonists, the repeal of those acts was a victory. But then in 1767, Parliament went ahead and passed the Townsend Acts, which levied new taxes on items imported to the colonies, like paper and glass and tea. So once the colonists took that toy away from the kid in the sandbox, they felt emboldened to take another. And so in response to the passage of the Townsend Acts, there were highly organized protests. And it wasn't just the elitists in the Stamp Act Congress.


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[Assistant] But members from all of American society. Their main plan of attack was to boycott many British goods.


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[Assistant] And the colonists especially depended on women for this, since they were largely the ones purchasing the bulk of household items. And so these women, instead of buying manufactured textiles from Britain, spun their own cloth. Instead of drinking imported tea, learned to brew their own herbal tea. Now all of this tension brewing between the colonies and the British government reached a boiling point in 1770 in an event called the Boston Massacre.


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[Assistant] Now it's important for you to know that when these soldiers were put on trial, six out of eight were acquitted for any wrongdoing. But the point is that to the colonists,


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[Assistant] The massacre was a sure sign of increasing British tyranny. Now another very public act of resistance to the British clampdown was the Boston Tea Party. This was a response to the passing of the Tea Act of 1773. Essentially, it gave the British East India Company exclusive rights to buy and ship tea in the colonies. And again, this angered colonists who were used to dealing in smuggled tea from the Dutch. And so in December of that year, about 50 colonists disguised as American Indians boarded a merchant ship and dumped about 45 tons of British tea into the waters of the harbor.


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[Assistant] These men have come to believe deeply in the idea of natural rights, which is to say that all human beings are endowed with certain rights by God and not a government, and therefore a government can never take them away.


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[Assistant] Related to this, they were influenced by the idea of a social contract between the government and the people. The idea here is that the power to govern is in the hands of the people and they willingly give over some of that power to create a government


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[Assistant] But remember, these were the elite thinky thinky people of the colonies, and even though they were convinced about independence, the majority of American colonists were not yet convinced.


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[Assistant] Enter Thomas Paine. Early in 1776, he published a little pamphlet called Common Sense, and in it he argued that the only rational way forward for America was independence from Britain.


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[Assistant] That among these are life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. There you have natural rights. That to secure these rights, governments are instituted among men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the government. That wherever any form of government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the right of the people to alter or abolish it.


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[Assistant] Okay, now there you have the social contract. And I could go on enumerating examples, but the point is you should know that this document is deeply influenced by Enlightenment thought. Now the declaration was presented to the Congress and adopted on July 2nd, 1776. On July 4th, it was made public. And baby,


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[Assistant] We got ourselves a revolutionary war. Now I'm aware that the way I've been presenting this, it kind of sounds like everybody in the colonies was on board with independence, but here's where I tell you, not so much. There was actually a sizable opposition to independence in a group called the Loyalists. They were called Loyalists because they did not want to separate from Britain, they wanted to remain


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[Assistant] Daniel Shays happened to be one of those farmers, and he lived in Massachusetts. He gathered a militia of about a thousand other angry farmers and headed to the town arsenal where they planned to arm themselves in wreak havoc. However, they were pretty quickly squashed by the local militia.


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[Assistant] That's not much of a story. Why is it important? Well, the importance of Shays' Rebellion is this. It displayed the weakness of the Articles of Confederation. Now, how is that? Well, this uprising actually alarmed state and national leaders who began to wonder how many other angry farmers could rise up and try to kill them. And when they realized that there was no president to call and there was no national army to come help them in this situation, the Articles then seemed like a very flimsy document. And so in light of all of this, a constitutional convention was called in 1787. Now, the stated purpose of this convention was to revise


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[Assistant] The anti-federalists, on the other hand, were more rural folks, and they liked the states having the power, and they opposed an increase in the federal government's power. And of the many debates they had within that Congress, maybe the most heated one was over how the people would be represented in this new government. One idea was summarized in what was called the Virginia Plan, and this plan argued for representation by population. And it shouldn't surprise you since Virginia was one of the most populous states. And think about it. If states are represented in the government by population, who is the most powerful?


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[Assistant] Well, it's the big states. And so the small states heard this and were like, And they proposed a different plan called the New Jersey Plan.


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[Assistant] So the compromise they reached was known as the Three-Fifths Compromise. Essentially it just said that for purposes of representation they would just count up all the enslaved people in a particular state, take three-fifths of that number, and then that's how many seats would be added to their house representation. And so a new constitution was drawn up that provided for a more robust central government, but at the same time it took pains to check and balance the power of that government by splitting it into three branches.


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[Assistant] But Adams was about to push through a new set of laws that would poo-poo all over any newfound unity between the factions. You see, Adams feared dissent both at home and abroad, and so the Federalist-dominated Congress passed the Alien and Sedition Acts. The Alien Acts made it legal and easy to deport any noncitizen of the United States, and it was chiefly aimed at the growing Irish and Scottish immigrants


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[Assistant] May I be permitted to observe that this is the first house I've found in this godforsaken community that doesn't smell of cabbage.


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[Assistant] Judge a man's usefulness neither by his experience nor his ability by the number of years since he was weaned.


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[Assistant] With your permission, madam, may we dispense with further conversation? I should like to inspect the room.


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[Assistant] You do see. Then may I ask you to follow me for a moment?


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[Assistant] I would appreciate it, my dear Bridget, if in the future you could spare me from your father's elaborate puns. And if, uh,


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[Assistant] Indeed, I wasn't even aware that the United States forces had been honored by your membership. I enlisted, sir, last summer. So.


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[Assistant] I don't think we need trouble, these young women, with your autobiography. Let's go into the living room. If you'll excuse me.


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[Assistant] I presume you've come to me for help of one sort or another with your tail between your legs. Well, no, sir. I-I thought you might like... Well, you see... Or is it money that you're after? Speak up, boy. I thought you might like to see me.


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[Assistant] I suppose I'd better look for quarters elsewhere, since that's the way I'm regarded around here.


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[Assistant] Rather envy you, if I may say so. We could use you, sir. In the Navy?


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[Assistant] Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. Where is Superman?


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[Assistant] Yes indeed, I do remember. What about him?


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[Assistant] A most interesting observation, Miss Hilton.


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[Assistant] Then I'll thank you to do the same and stop your intrusion in my affairs.


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[Assistant] I know. The fact of the matter is, I don't like breakfast on Sundays.


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[Assistant] I would like to say that I admire very much the manner in which you've taken the recent news about your husband.


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[Assistant] Mrs. Hilton, I'm not a child. He hated me. To whom did that telegram come? Why he didn't even list me as next of kin.


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[Assistant] And I might have had that wonderful child as a granddaughter. Bill was fortunate to have known her.


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[Assistant] Thank you, Mr. Hilton. Thank you, Jane. Thank you, Brink. And thank you, Fadiga, for the beautiful cake.


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[Assistant] Then I suppose there must have been some reason for it. I'm sure. I don't know what it could have been.


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[Assistant] When I think of the good men, they waste on kitchen police.


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[Assistant] Happy birthday. Thanks. I almost forgot. Good day, isn't it? Sure is.


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[Assistant] Look buddy, you can have a fight if you want it, but I was just trying to be friendly.


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[Assistant] You haven't? I never saw a toe a couple of months ago.


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[Assistant] Oh, no you don't. I've buttered it enough already.


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[Assistant] Oh, they're so crowded and everything and I don't dance so very good. You and me both.


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[Assistant] Gee, I don't know if I'll ever be back this way. I expect we'll get going any day now.


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[Assistant] Sure does. Well, goodbye, miss. My name's Harold E. Smith.


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[Assistant] I listened to this album on repeat for like three months straight. This was like the soundtrack of my life.


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[Assistant] Uhm, thank you for the presentation. I was just wondering...


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[Assistant] What I noticed first were his faces. Both of them. They jutted out from either side of his head.


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[Assistant] Staring over his shoulders, so that his head was much wider than it should have been. Kind of like a hammerhead shark's. Looking straight at him, all I saw were two overlapping ears and mirror image sideburns.


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[Assistant] He was dressed like a New York City doorman, a long black overcoat, shiny shoes, and a black top hat that somehow managed to stand his double wide head. Well, Annabeth, said his left face, hurry up.


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[Assistant] Don't mind him, said the right face. He's terribly rude. Right this way, miss. Annabeth's jaw dropped. Uh, I don't...


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[Assistant] Tyson frowned. That funny man has two faces.


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[Assistant] The funny man has ears, you know, the left face scolded. Now come along, miss. No, no, the right face said. This way, miss. Talk to me, please.


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[Assistant] The two-faced man regarded Annabeth as best he could out of the corners of his eyes. It was impossible to look at him straight on without focusing on one side or the other. And suddenly I realized that's what he was asking. He wanted Annabeth to choose.


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[Assistant] Behind him were two exits, blocked by wooden doors with huge iron locks. They hadn't been there our first time through the room. The two-faced doorman held a silver key, which he kept passing from his left hand to his right hand.


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[Assistant] I wondered if this was a different room completely, but the frieze of the gods looked exactly the same.


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[Assistant] Behind us, the doorway we'd come through had disappeared, replaced by more mosaics. We wouldn't be going back the way we came.


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[Assistant] The exits are closed, Annabeth said. Duh! the man's left face said. Where do they lead? she asked.


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[Assistant] One probably leads the way you wish to go. The right face said encouragingly. The other leads to certain death.


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[Assistant] I, I know who you are, Annabeth said.


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[Assistant] Oh, you're a smart one. The left face sneered. But do you know which way to choose? I don't have all day.


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[Assistant] Why are you trying to confuse me? Annabeth asked.


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[Assistant] The right face smiled. You're in charge now my dear. All the decisions are on your shoulders. That's what you wanted, isn't it?


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[Assistant] Aye, we know you, Annabeth, the left face said. We know what you wrestle with every day. We know you're indecision. You will have to make your choice sooner or later, and the choice may kill you.


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[Assistant] Uh, yeah, but not by somebody that was licensed to shoot tattoos.


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[Assistant] I was in a bad relationship and the guy was a white supremist. So uhm, he inspired it. And I got drunk enough on wild turkey that I decided to do it.


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[Assistant] He was abusive, it was definitely a mental thing as well, so I just took on his beliefs, you know.


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[Assistant] Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow. ARK PARK! Meow, meow, ARK PARK BORF!


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[Assistant] Chapter 6 Oliver is found again.


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[Assistant] Oliver began to recover and slowly regain his strength.


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[Assistant] The picture that had caused Mr. Brownlow's excitement was taken down from the wall and was not mentioned again.


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[Assistant] Oliver was disappointed at the disappearance of the picture since he liked the woman's face, but he had many other things to think about now. They were happy days while Oliver was getting better.


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[Assistant] He played cards with Mrs Bedwin and listened to stories about her family.


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[Assistant] Ha ha ha ha haaa. Alright.


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[Assistant] Welcome to our lecture online and here's our next example of how to do a word problem dealing with distance, speed, and time. The example here is a boat traveling down a river.


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[Assistant] Traveling a distance of 10 miles, turning around, coming back. Total trip takes 3 hours and 20 minutes.


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[Assistant] One difficulty here is that the river is slowing downstream at four miles per hour. So,


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[Assistant] Question is, how fast can a boat travel or move while in still water?


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[Assistant] Okay, how do we do that? Well, first of all, let's define the velocity of the boat downstream as being equal to, well, let's see here. Before we do that, maybe what we need to do here is say, let


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[Assistant] x equal the speed in still water.


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[Assistant] And that's then what we're looking for, we're then solving for x, and then coming back over here, the velocity downstream will then be x plus the speed of the river, which would be 4, and the velocity upstream would be x minus 4, because then you would be fighting the current.


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[Assistant] Alright, so now we define, in terms of x, how fast a boat can travel downstream, how fast a boat can travel upstream.


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[Assistant] If we now let the time downstream, so time downstream, let that equal to t1. Oh no, we don't even need to do that. Let's just do it like this. Time downstream.


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[Assistant] Of course we want to convert that to a decimal, or at least a fraction. And we know that 20 minutes is one third of an hour, so we can say that the time downstream plus the time upstream is equal to three and a third hours.


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[Assistant] Uh, which is equal to ten-thirds hours. So we know the units is in hours, so we'll leave it like that. So the time downstream plus the time upstream is ten-thirds of an hour.


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[Assistant] Which is equal to velocity times time, which means that time is equal to distance divided by velocity. So we can replace time by distance and velocity because the distance is known, 10 miles, and the velocity is expressed in terms of x, which is what we're looking for.


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[Assistant] So therefore we can say that the time down is equal to distance 10 miles divided by the velocity down, which would be x plus 4.


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[Assistant] Plus the time upstream, which would be 10 divided by x minus 4, because that's the speed upstream, and that has to equal ten thirds of an hour. Three and a third hours.


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[Assistant] Okay, now we're ready to solve this and we've seen some examples of how to do that. We're going to multiply both sides of the equation by the lowest common denominator, which means we're going to multiply both sides by x plus 4 times x minus 4.


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[Assistant] Times three, and do the same on the right side, three times x plus four.


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[Assistant] Times x minus 4. That way we get rid of the fractions.


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[Assistant] Notice, we multiply with the first one here, x plus 4 cancels out, 3 times 10 is 30, so we get 30 divided by, uhm, no, 30 times,


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[Assistant] Now divided by, we're trying to get rid of the denominators, so the x plus 4's cancel out, so we're left with 30 times x minus 4.


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[Assistant] Plus, here we're left with 30 times x plus 4. That's because the x minus 4's cancel out. And finally on the right side of the equation, the 3's cancel out and we're left with 10 times x plus 4.


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[Assistant] Times x minus four. And that will then turn into a quadratic equation which we need to solve. So let's go ahead and work out the, uh,


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[Assistant] Multiplications, we get rid of the parentheses. So here we get 30x minus 120 plus 30x.


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[Assistant] Plus 120 is equal to 10 times the product of these two, since it's a difference, uh, since we have x plus 4, x minus 4, that gives us the difference in, uh,


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[Assistant] Is equal to 10x squared minus 160 and then moving everything over to one side to get


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[Assistant] To write that in a quadratic equation form, 0 is equal to 10x squared minus 60x minus 160. And finally, to make things easy, you can see that everything is divisible by 10. So let's move it over here, give ourselves some more room. So we can see that this is 0 equals x squared minus 6x minus 16. Alright. Now I think we can go ahead and solve that, probably by factoring. Hmm.


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[Assistant] So we can factor this, so 0 is equal to x minus 8 times x plus 2, because minus 8 plus 2 gives you minus 6, and minus 8 times plus 2 gives you minus 16, so that's the proper way of factoring, which means that x minus 8 equals 0 or,


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[Assistant] x plus 2 equals 0, which means that x is equal to 8, or x is equal to minus 2. Of course, x cannot be a minus 2, that would mean that the boat has negative speed. That doesn't work, so we can get rid of this possibility. And so the only possibility here is x equals 8.


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[Assistant] Which means that eight is, or eight miles per hour is the speed in still water. Eight miles per hour.


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[Assistant] Which means that when it travels downstream, it's 8 plus 4 or 12 miles per hour. When it travels upstream, it's 8 minus 4 or 4 miles per hour. So on the trip up, let's see if we have the right answers to work this out. So on the trip up,


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[Assistant] Velocity down, let's see, is equal to 12. Velocity up is equal to 8. 8 minus 4 is 4. That's wrong. Okay, so if he's traveling upstream, traveling 10 miles at 4 miles per hour, that means it takes 2 and a half hours to come up upstream.


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[Assistant] And to travel downstream, he's traveling 10 miles.


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[Assistant] So here let's find the time. The time is equal to 10 divided by 12. So the time is equal to 5 divided by 6.


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[Assistant] And so, 5 divided by 6, that would be 50 minutes, because there's 60 minutes an hour. 5 sixths of 60 minutes is 50 minutes. That would be 50 minutes.


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[Assistant] So add 50 minutes to two and a half hours, which is two hours and 30 minutes.


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[Assistant] And this is 50 minutes going downstream at 2 hours and 30 minutes to 50 minutes. That gives you 3 hours and 20 minutes, which is the amount of time given. So it looks like we did it correctly and that is the correct answer. Again, real quickly.


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[Assistant] You define x as a speed in still water, which then gives you an expression in terms of x for the velocity downstream.


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[Assistant] And then you, then you replace the expression for time by what time is equal to, which is distance divided by velocity. And so distance divided by velocity in each case. So this would be downstream, this would be upstream, and then you solve the quadratic equation. And that's how we do that.


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[Assistant] Mrs. Mailey sighed.


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[Assistant] But she herself may try to protect you and refuse an offer of marriage from you for your sake. Remember that, Harry. But now I must go back and sit with her. Will you tell her how much I've worried about her? asked Harry. And how anxious I am to see her again? Of course I will, replied Mrs. Mailey.


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[Assistant] Donald Trump gave the commencement address at the Coast Guard Academy, and that should have been easy. Simply lift the cadet's spirits and point them towards the future. But Trump inevitably used the speech to, well I'm fairly sure, momentarily forget the word certainty, and then also generally whine about how mean people were being to him.


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[Assistant] ...to Russia, which is also a massive development that was closely followed by Thursday's news concerning James Comey. Specifically, his friend's account of the lengths to which Comey went at this post-inauguration meeting to try and avoid a personal encounter with the president.


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[Assistant] Which the White House did not deny gave the even more concerning detail that Trump had told his Russian guests,


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[Assistant] Think about it, going into this week, there were already multiple investigations into Russia's efforts to swing the election and any possible ties to the Trump campaign. But there are now also strong allegations that Trump attempted in some form to influence the investigations. And we now have a special counsel looking into all of this. You would almost have to be trying.


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[Assistant] Really hard not to see this as a big deal.


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[Assistant] And while McCain was willing to cite Watergate, other Republicans were willing to go even further.


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[Assistant] And it gets worse because when Mother Jones ran an article citing Amash as the first Republican to mention impeachment, a spokeswoman for another Republican, Representative Carlos Cabello of Florida, reached out to say he was actually the first Republican to mention it. Although, although to be fair,


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[Assistant] That's actually a pretty good question. What would a Trump impeachment look like? I mean, ironically, I imagine at least part of it would involve thousands of Muslims celebrating in New Jersey. So...


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[Assistant] And championed a constitutional amendment defining marriages between a man and a woman. And as governor of Indiana, his most eye-catching accomplishment was the passage of the Religious Freedom Restoration Act, which could have made it easier for religious conservatives to refuse service to gay couples. And making matters worse,


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[Assistant] When he was asked multiple times whether that's what it did, he kept dodging the question ending in this exchange.


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[Assistant] Impeachment is a long shot for many reasons, not the least of which is it would require a majority of the House to vote to impeach, and that is currently controlled by Republicans, uh, and then it would then need two-thirds of the Senate to vote to convict the President, and it is also controlled


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[Assistant] By Republicans right now, so the likelihood is that Trump will survive this and continue as president, which shouldn't really be a surprise to anyone.


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[Assistant] Why would this be the end of the line for him? Trump has seemed to reach the end of the line on multiple occasions, only for nothing to happen. Remember when he hesitated to disavow David Duke?


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[Assistant] Following stupid water gates, every development can be awe-consuming. It feels like nothing else has happened over the last couple of weeks. But that is a dangerous thing to believe, because it has. Things have happened.


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[Assistant] And as if all of this wasn't bad enough, which it comfortably is, we are getting some heartbreaking glimpses into how this president operates. For instance, just this week, again, we learnt that this is how his own national security team feels they have to brief him on important global issues.


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[Assistant] And if you are feeling miserable about the situation that we're in right now, the only consolation I may be able to offer you is, I'm not sure that Trump is entirely happy either. Because yes, you've seen him enjoy the rallies and the attention and the fact that he can say he's the president, but I think the most telling photo taken of him so far is this one.


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[Assistant] And if you are tempted to believe any of what people are saying, that this is all politics, and every president goes through a week like the one that we just had early in their administration, let me show you one of the things that people were attacking the last president for at roughly the same point in his first term.


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[Assistant] Just one or two thoughts. It's been a very quiet splash in the pool of, uh, wrestling culture.


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[Assistant] This is the same with Drag Race. A lot of the Drag Race fandom is quite, uh,


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[Assistant] A little thing happens where it's a bit spicy and you're like, I'd love to take part in this discourse and see what happens. So not only have I read Twitter, I've also read Reddit. I've been having a little look at all the things and people do be having opinions. People do be having them.


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[Assistant] Yeah, it's, uh, it's, uh, so here's the thing. I think a money in the bank cash-in as a moment can be something quite unbelievable. Quite, you know, highest of the century, I remember being on my feet. I remember, um, when, the very first one, when Edge cashed in at the end of, we had, we'd never seen that happen, we'd never seen it happen, so it was a completely fresh thing.


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[Assistant] And I do think those moments can be moments within themselves. They are then backed up by what does the rain look like, I think. Biggie, great. Cash in situation, mediocre title run.


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[Assistant] Yeah, and I think even he himself was disappointed in how that room turned out.


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[Assistant] Handing someone the Money in the Bank briefcase is a statement. You're basically telling us this is someone who you imagine is a world title contender. And by giving it to Austin Theory, I think a lot of us went, huh?