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[Assistant] They fucked up by letting go TWO really good backups.


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[Assistant] It's uh, what I love about the, the NFC North is like, it's a brutal division, but you're like, it's like Lamar Jackson, Joe Burrow, and Miles Garen, TJ Watt.


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[Assistant] The guys keeping the Steelers and the Browns in the mix are two defensive edge rushers right now that are just dominating games.


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[Assistant] Obviously there's this whole team effort, but like the star of the Steelers is TJ, star of the Browns is Miles. And there's not a lot of other teams that it's not, everything's not going through the quarterback.


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[Assistant] Yeah, I think it's a situation where, uh, Brian Dable checks in with Dan Jones about the neck injury.


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[Assistant] And Dan Jones is not the one telling Brian Dable what's going on. Brian Dable's like, uh, no, Dan, your, your neck's still a little, a little too stiff to be out there playing this week. Yeah. No, neck's hurting a little bit. How's the shoulder? Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I agree with everything Tom said. I think, I think Tarad Taylor, he is such like a journeyman QB.


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[Assistant] He's always been a solid football player. He's never really been a QB who's gonna lose you games, but he's never been the guy who's gonna win you.


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[Assistant] The, the, the, the crucial games and, uh,


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[Assistant] You know, after the charger's doctor stabbed him in the lungs, I think like nothing can shake him.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Checks down to Reed X, nails it, six yard gain, lives to fight another down. That's Gerard Taylor. I wish I knew better football terms.


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[Assistant] I never want to know that much about anything, I think, on earth. Okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Giants currently pick at 5, so you're gonna have to do worse to possibly get your QB.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I debated this a while today.


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[Assistant] Backs to the wall, the corner, they're back there, they painted themselves in the corner and guess what? They got paint thinner. They're gonna drink it and get rid of that paint.


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[Assistant] They're gonna go right through that little paint that they painted themselves in that stupid ass little corner with, and they're gonna win.


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[Assistant] I agree. Buccaneers probably have the most underrated defense in the NFL right now.


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[Assistant] Free passing touchdowns for Josh Allen. They're gonna look amazing tonight.


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[Assistant] Okay. Bon Miller, do you have a prediction? Two sacks.


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[Assistant] I'm at sixty-three dollars, sixty-eight dollars and eighty-nine cents. Okay, Tom.


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[Assistant] Rhode Island. They don't have any teams. No, with, with Delaware.


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[Assistant] No, it'll just result in more pain because that's just what the charges do.


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[Assistant] I was about to say, uh, you were complaining about that draft non-stop, not drafting JSN, getting edge in the first round, uh, Brian Branch, I remember, uh, Darnell Washington.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Are you saying Sean Payton's a pussy? Come on, that's fighting words buddy. Wow. I didn't say that. I didn't say that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was just sitting back relaxing, but I do have an official statement as to my personal opinions on the, uh,


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[Assistant] On the Steelers making the playoffs and this is a punishment from a few weeks ago. So if you figured out what it was, have fun.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it's just like I took a couple takes, slam down, slam down. Cause what happened, uh, last stream, I was doing a charity stream for the Mario Limi Foundation. I didn't turn it off on the XSplit app I did. It reset another stream from like two years ago. Restarted that one. And they kept hearing like grunting and screaming in the background. That was why. Cause I was doing that punishment.


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[Assistant] And I mean, if the weather conditions are pretty bad, it means they're going to pound the rock with running the ball. And especially if Buffalo's issues, no Dequan Jones or a limited Dequan Jones could do something with that. So it's, it's a slim possibility, but.


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[Assistant] There is a chance. And when that chance comes, we BS our way to a Super Bowl and nothing changes for 20 years. Let's go, baby.


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[Assistant] I mean, I have to say like after that Rams get second Rams game, I called the Seahawks frauds. There were Seahawks fans that gave me shit about it. And, uh, unfortunately I was vindicated by that. I mean, with the way they performed down the stretch, uh, their defense was bad. Red zone play was bad.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean Carol's gone too. So unfortunately they, they were frauds. Vindication. Powerful thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I thought, I thought the Colts were going to be the worst team in football, so, trust me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, look at us here for Clickbait Sports 2023 NFL predictions a week away from real football. Holy cow.


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[Assistant] I don't know why, but people scream it. And bababooey.


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[Assistant] The guys who go watch golf, uh, that's a very unique sports fan.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The guys who go and watch golf to scream, scream stuff. And not get drunk.


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[Assistant] Each division, MVP, first coach fired, Super Bowl champ, anything we can think of really, we'll try to predict it. There's no limit, and there's no...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes, I do have a little thing here. Let me see if I can connect it.


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[Assistant] Oh, and just an FYI, we've got two very good punishments to be doled out depending on who gets punished today.


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[Assistant] So, uh, everybody watching can pick which one they want to roll with, but uh, we got two good ones.


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[Assistant] Whatever, however much money the person gets,


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[Assistant] That person then, and I think a lot of us were thinking Scooter, has to tweet out something like, uhm,


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[Assistant] I love the Philadelphia Eagles and Jalen Hurts is a better quarterback than Dak Prescott. But then, he's gotta use however much of that super chat we determine to promote that tweet.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Or, as Tom showed me the other day, the NFL has dropped wrestling belts.


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[Assistant] WWE wrestling belts for every team except the Jaguars. So loser has to buy a team that they hate. And how much were those belts, Tom?


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[Assistant] Are we each gonna do it or should we decide basically on a vote of a consensus team for


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[Assistant] Whatever. I think that'll be a little less messy if we have to just pick one of the teams as a whole group. Or do we want it to be


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[Assistant] I think the bills need to prove that, uh, their offense, and their offense was very, very good last year.


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[Assistant] But I think they need to prove that Ken Dorsey can get the job done without Brian Dable being there.


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[Assistant] Obviously, hopefully Josh Allen stays healthy. He played, he played last year, but he had that elbow thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, uh, Narcos and, uh, cocaine cowboys and, uh, drug documentaries in Miami has just been in my, my area, so.


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[Assistant] What if they all finish 12 and, well, what can you-


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[Assistant] 12 and 5. Can everybody finish 12 and 5? I don't think so.


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[Assistant] Okay, so we got the build, next division, we gotta speed some stuff up here. Yes, speed it up.


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[Assistant] To North. AFC North. Who is winning Tree's Division?


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[Assistant] Does Jonathan Taylor play this season? And if so, is it for the Colts?


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[Assistant] I just forget that they're in that division and they're always pretty good and nobody ever really takes them seriously. Sorry Titan fans.


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[Assistant] I already talked about the fact that I could tackle Derrick Henry by getting his ankle, so am I intimidated by Derrick Henry? Not one single bit.


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[Assistant] In fact, if he tried to stiff-arm me, I'd just grab his arm and use his own force against him. A la Star Wars and, uh, Jujitsu.


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[Assistant] He is pretty good, he is pretty good. Tackle breaking, contact seeking machine. All of that was just like a tank.


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[Assistant] Well that, there's, I need grass. I need some grass.


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[Assistant] Marshawn Lynch, yeaah, I would put him in there as a guy I would not want to tackle.


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[Assistant] Alright, now we have the three wild cards. Okay, serious question for you guys. Serious question about the AFC West.


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[Assistant] Because I already picked the Broncos to be first place, but uh, Raiders or Broncos, who do you think is in last place? Raiders.


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[Assistant] Okay, so here we go. This is where we're at.


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[Assistant] Bengals win, Bills win, Jags win, Chiefs win, Jonathan Taylor traded.


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[Assistant] This is the bet. This is the bet. What's the bet? Commander sweep the cowboys. Okay? Okay, what's the bet?


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[Assistant] The bet is, if the commander sweep the cowboys, you buy the commander's belt, I'll buy the cowboy's belt.


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[Assistant] I almost agree with Scooter. That mustache, it's not a mustache, it's a Fumero 2, but it is.


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[Assistant] I would join Kirk Cousins biker gang, honestly, at this point.


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[Assistant] I think the more interesting question is who will be the second best team in the NFC South?


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[Assistant] The fact that like, Arizona made no real play early,


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[Assistant] You gotta look into this, man. So his wife has a podcast and she started talking about how he-


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[Assistant] Matthew Stafford's wife has a podcast. She started talking about how he was telling her he was having a hard time relating to the younger players in the locker room because all they do is look at their cell phones and he can't build a connection with them when they go out to dinner.


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[Assistant] Like they just sit there and nobody talks to each other and then they all want to go to the club and he doesn't want to go to the club anymore.


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[Assistant] And it was probably a bunch of stuff he told her that he did not want her talking about. And so then it just turned into this, this ridiculous thing. Uhm, so, now you're up to speed. And I love Stafford. I do. I love him.


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[Assistant] I can't even think of a team that will actually make it to the Super Bowl and the NFC.


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[Assistant] Gimme, gimme the eagles getting back there. Oh my god.


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[Assistant] And they will be playing... The Jaguars.


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[Assistant] Let me throw a coach out there who could get fired. I officially, I think I predicted Dennis Allen could be the first guy.


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[Assistant] I think if a team is struggling early, it is Brandon Staley. Yes. And I think the Chargers think they might have the guy to replace him already there in, uh. Kellen Moore. Kellen Moore. Kellen Moore. Your man, Scooter.


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[Assistant] Here's the other thing for the Cowboys. He turned Herbert into a check down magnet. Yes. Dallas has their guy too and Dan Quinn.


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[Assistant] Somebody wants to donate, uh, like $500 to the scooter right now so he gets punished at this point in time.


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[Assistant] No, he keeps trying to bite my foot. This is what you guys need to decide. Chief's belt, Raider's belt, or Seahawk's belt. Chief's.


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[Assistant] It's great. You know why? Because my team's in the playoffs. I don't care. Why do I care? Because the team's in the playoffs.


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[Assistant] Cleveland Browns! Playoffs! Tim Tebow! Playoff! Ben Roethlisberger! Adam, your team's worse than mine! Scooter!


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[Assistant] Scooter the Cowboys 49ers. The Cowboys 49ers. Jerry Jones. Jerry Jones. Tom, your team's owned by fans. And Super Bowl 32. Actually, thank you for that.


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[Assistant] You know, my only problem with the Cowboy's Loss scooter


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[Assistant] Is, it was against the Arizona Cardinals, who last season had Vance Joseph as their defensive coordinator. He is now my defensive coordinator again.


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[Assistant] Ipso facto, your cowboys made Vance Joseph and my team look even worse by letting the Cardinals be the first team to beat them this year. That's what, that's what grinds my, my nuts, scooter.


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[Assistant] Giving up 70 points. That's fair.


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[Assistant] Yeah, I feel like every team is really injured and I'm trying to think of teams that are actually healthy. 49ers kinda.


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[Assistant] It was Mike McDaniel, Colorado-owned hero, Mike McDaniel. I mean, I respect that they took a little sympathy on us there at the end.


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[Assistant] Pity, sympathy, empathy, uh, we're already dead. They did it all to us.


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[Assistant] The, the, the field goal, which would have tied it. I kinda just wanted him to score one more touchdown actually, so it was...


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[Assistant] Clearly the record and for everybody, everybody on earth to know that it was the worst defensive performance in NFL history because we did a little research for a short.


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[Assistant] And the 70 points the Broncos gave up were all by their defense. So in all those other 70 point games out there, you had a special teams touchdown, a defensive touchdown, some means of scoring that wasn't a score allowed by the defense.


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[Assistant] Let me ask you guys something because it didn't really dawn on me during the game because I was in shock. Okay. My mind wasn't right. All right. But


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[Assistant] We have questions now here in Denver about Sean Payton, about everything.


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[Assistant] The relationship with Sean and Russ, we hear it's actually pretty good. We know Sean's kind of a dick, but like, we're- there's clouts, okay?


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[Assistant] Sean Payton, leaving Russell Wilson in the game when we're down 60 whatever to 70. 8 minutes left and you're leaving your starting quarterback out there.


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[Assistant] Does that register as a red flag for any of you guys or is it like...


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[Assistant] Just go out there offense and prove you've got some fight in ya. Like, is it not a big deal?


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[Assistant] It doesn't matter what Russ wants. You want a head coach who's gonna protect his quarterback, his starting QB. It feels like you have no respect for that man if you just leave him in the game.


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[Assistant] That's even worse! My team is historically bad, and they're like, I didn't think they could beat the Giants though!


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[Assistant] So here's how this stuff gets worse. Uh, it was the hardest.


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[Assistant] And then this stupid wrestling belt that cost nearly $700 after taxes arrives this week.


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[Assistant] Watch out Travis Kelsey. Watch out. Shake it off.


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[Assistant] This has got to be the hardest part of wrestling.


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[Assistant] Right there. Is it solid? Like that?


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[Assistant] Uh, I hope I never have to do it again. And I hope all of you have to experience it once.


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[Assistant] Turn into a playoff caliber defense. It just won't happen in one season. Here's my fear. Another question for you guys. We play the Chiefs in like three weeks. Two weeks, three weeks.


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[Assistant] If the Chiefs are say up 50 to 10, they letting off the gas or they chasing that record to surpass the Dolphins.


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[Assistant] Yeah, it's, it was like a, a no-lose situation to go for it there. Because if you trust your defense to get you the ball back, don't you also trust your defense if they're, they've got the opposition backed up towards their own goal line? But I, what, what, what can I say?


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[Assistant] Bailey's a, uh, an analytics guy, and McDaniels is like, I'm a, I'm gonna trust my instinct guy.


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[Assistant] But like, I don't know if a team's gonna give a first-rounder for a corner. Every year, what teams are willing to give for certain position groups, I feel like just changes. San Francisco.


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[Assistant] Two years ago, wide receivers, they're catching first rounders left and right. This last off season, they're like, ah, no thanks. Well, because yeah, the market, the market, what teams need, how many of those players are going to be free agents? If the Broncos start trading players, I think that the


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[Assistant] Biggest target would be Justin Simmons right now. That's basically what's been talked about in Denver. He's a guy who would have a lot of value to other teams. His contract's not crazy. Uhm, they would be willing to, to deal with safety. Uh, so it would probably start there. Uhm, other than that, yea, maybe Courtland Sutton? I don't know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I saw that. Saw that too.


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[Assistant] Uh, Tom, do you think Jordan loves kind of like a player who needs a little bit of pressure on him during the game for him to play better?


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[Assistant] To the football god, Scooter, because now, if we lose to the Bears,


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[Assistant] Here's the tricky thing though with Chicago.


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[Assistant] They have Carolina's first round draft pick.


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[Assistant] So, Chicago doesn't even have to finish last. They've got the Panthers, who could. So the Broncos really have to have the worst record. Because they gotta have that one spot.


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[Assistant] Cause the bears, they're going to be itching to get there with Carolina on their, on their side. So give me Caleb Williams.


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[Assistant] They could have two of the top three picks.


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[Assistant] Can Caleb Williams play defense? I hope so. I hope so. Cause you need that too.


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[Assistant] And there's still a little bit of lions, residual leftovers there. They're trying to get rid of all of the old lion stuff. So they're not gonna, they're not gonna make every right decision.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think the Lions are gonna win. I think it'll be close. Uhm, sorry, Tom.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like 2320 or 2017, one of those type of games.


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[Assistant] And it, like, if the Packers were healthy, at home, short week, traditionally I go, you know, Green Bay. But, ehh.


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[Assistant] If tree predicts that for a branch, it's gotta happen, Tom. It's gotta happen. Exactly.


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[Assistant] Uh, I did a tank video preview for the four games, but go check out Jess's, my wife, Jess Brain. She dropped a BTS of the last month of my miserable football life, so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What, what, what is this show brought to the world besides a whole bunch of nothing?


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[Assistant] Greatness. That's fair. I don't know about that. We saw a scooter in a cheerleader's outfit. I forgot, but I've suppressed that from my memory. Those were the glory days.


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[Assistant] Alright, alright, does this count as my five minutes of stand up? Alright, three, two, one.


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[Assistant] While they do this, welcome to Clickbait Sports. I'm not your host. I'm just gonna try and get this shit back on track. I'm Cam. I was gonna zoom in.


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[Assistant] As I said, Brett Maher, he likes his BBWs. He likes them what? Here's what I think about America's team. Packers? I think!


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[Assistant] We played admirably. I think the leader of America's team was doubted.


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[Assistant] All season who was called these names by these media pundits.


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[Assistant] He was vindicated. I think he had the best performance ever in the NFL. And I believe. Ever.


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[Assistant] This is gonna be so bad. Five minutes. Five minutes of stand-up. With a guy who's never done stand-up before. Everyone's gonna leave. And rightfully so.


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[Assistant] This is gonna be the most cringe five minutes of my life.


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[Assistant] I defecate on that launch.


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[Assistant] Thank you, thank you, thank you. You also missed the sex offender list, unfortunately.


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[Assistant] Yeaah, I know, it tends to happen. It was a, it was a, I wanna say, it was consensual. That's all I'm gonna say. Age ain't nothing but a no.


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[Assistant] Well, I mean, I'm going to be honest with you, Fozzy would be proud from Muppets, but I do want to say one thing real quick. I know these punks around me want to say that, oh, everything's fine, everything's dandy, we're going to lure it over a tree and make it do five minutes of terrible stand-up. You know what's something?


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[Assistant] I'm gonna go roast every single one of these boys. Because that's really how it is. And you know what? I've got insults on insults on insults on insults on insults. And it is a beautiful thing. It is insulting as my girl who yelled at me for...


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[Assistant] You have me on the screen and you're just losing your mind. This is why everyone's leaving right now and I don't blame them. You got this ugly mug here. You got Uche. God rest his soul. He is up there and he is crying in disbelief at how horrible this segment of clickbait sports is. Uche. You're the Mac Canada!


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[Assistant] This is why we don't do five minutes. My favorite part about clickbait, and I know I say a lot of bad stuff, my favorite part about clickbait is talking. I see all the tomatoes and I'm losing my mind. At least somebody's laughing. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know, right?


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[Assistant] That's pretty much how the show is. It is the epitome of idiocracy. We have Brandon over here. There's a sect that hates him. There's a sect that hates a rich kid with a PlayStation. There's a, uh, scooter. I mean, I think like everyone hates that guy. And then there's-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then Tom, like, he has the blood cult where he's gonna take over an island and bring some, uh, Packard flavor Kool-Aid and, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And uhm, you know, death by Aaron Rodgers, uh, immunization.


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[Assistant] That's the dream. That is always the dream, sir. That is always the dream.


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[Assistant] That this world has ever seen. When I ask for a application to a job, they ask for my sex, I say yes, because I am that awkward. When I go to the bathroom, you know what I do? I leave that door open because that is what the glory of life is. And you know what? When I go out in public, there are times where I just go hog walk. I go on.


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[Assistant] Now you see how little I cared about the prep because I knew it was going to be terrible and how much I prepped. Just like five taking bats, he knows he's still going to strike out in three pitches. That's all I'm going to say right now. Uh, let's go on to the actual elements of play here talking about the NFL playoffs. I think someone's team to the left of that is, you know,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Mr. Five, tell us about your Giants. What is the emotion like in New York Giantland?


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[Assistant] So now where does this leave you on Daniel Jones? Because before you were saying,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know, we might need to franchise him. Does this solidify Daniel Jones as the QB of the future? Is he your guy?


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[Assistant] What I saw is something that the Giants should have been doing, or at least Daniel Jones should have been doing, from the jump, using his athleticism


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[Assistant] With athleticism. Scrambling when there's nothing available.


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[Assistant] I think the Giants will have a lot of success even against and especially against the Eagles because I was looking at some, uh, videos on how the Eagles play their defense and how it kind of plays right in to the Giants' hands. So we'll see.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Let's be real, they got carried by Saquon. They got carried by Saquon. And let's be completely honest here, the Vikings defense is terrible. It is terrible.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, probably Burrow. Uh, Herbert, I don't know. Do you think he sticks with the Chargers or do you think he goes elsewhere? If he's smart, he'll go.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then he helped the Ravens win a Super Bowl because Greg Roman forgot he had Frank Gore.


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[Assistant] I think Burrow's gonna get over 200 mil guaranteed.


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[Assistant] Now you're talking, Karna. I am unaware of voodoo. Oh, so good. So I say we go around and, and I'll make a projection on the Eagles Giants game and then move on to another game. Personally, I don't think the Eagles have this in them.


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[Assistant] I think they falter. I think Daniel Jones repeats last week's performance. He is that guy.


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[Assistant] I like the Giants to beat the Eagles and when they do, I have receipts, Eagles fans. You're done. That's all I'm saying.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Ooh, this is actually a tougher one to gauge than you think because is Jordan Davis going to be fully healthy? Because if that is, that takes away a ton of their options, especially running up the gut.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, cause when they have a healthy Jordan Davis, they terrorize their opponents, even with their solid defensive line.


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[Assistant] You have linebackers. I mean, Daniel Jones is gonna have to beat them with his arm. That is the only way you can do it. And do you trust the Giants Receiving Corps?


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[Assistant] So I think this is going to be a close game. I think it's going to come down to the wire, but I think the Eagles just pull away in the end because of home field. Okay, three to one, five.


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[Assistant] Against, uh, Lamar Jacksonless Ravens team.


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[Assistant] So they really struggled in that game to the point where I thought they might not even come out on top till the very end. So for me, I'm just going with home field.


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[Assistant] It seems like this team is fated to make it to the Super Bowl, but I think the home field advantage is going to be way too much of a factor.


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[Assistant] If not for Joe Burrow, for everyone else playing on the Bengals. So I got the bills.


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[Assistant] I'm gonna say the same thing, I think the Bengals win because the Bills defense has been...


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[Assistant] They showed a lot of holes, especially in this past game. And when they're off, they are very undisciplined. I think Miami's defense has been relatively weak. That's why they fired Josh lawyer. But at the same time,


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[Assistant] And they have, you know, Sam Hubbard with that big return, Jesse Bates, eternally underrated. They have Logan Wilson in their defensive line or linebacking core, Trey Hendrickson.


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[Assistant] So they've got guys that can make a big difference if need be. Even Eli Apple, as much as he gets burned, he can still go far. So, I think this is where having no Von Miller kills you because...


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[Assistant] So I still think Stincy wins because they just can't get it done.


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[Assistant] I tried, but at the same time, I don't know. You know what else is funny? The fact that you look younger without a beard.


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[Assistant] He would. I'm not Tom. By the way, let's go on to the final game here, a certain, uh,


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[Assistant] With the Jacksonville Jaguars? What? That's right ladies and gentlemen. If you have seen, I've already predicted what the Super Bowl is going to be. It's going to be the Jags versus America's team.


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[Assistant] And America's team will end up taking it. But I'm telling you guys, listen, there's just something about the hair. Okay? Trevor Lawrence gets his power from his hair. His hair is way longer than Patrick Mahomes.


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[Assistant] That's all I'm saying. Do not be surprised. Next week, if you come back here, the Jaguars have advanced.


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[Assistant] This is what's going to be happening in the Super Bowl. All America's team's fans are going to be doing this. Willing us to victory and we will take down the Jackets.


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[Assistant] Quick question, didn't you do that last year against the Niners and it backfired spectacularly?


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[Assistant] Honestly, you want a punishment? Five minutes of five singing. There you go.


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[Assistant] Listen, here we go. It's very simple. America's team, again, has this in the bag. Okay.


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[Assistant] There is no way, and this is, I honestly believe this. I honestly believe.


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[Assistant] This will be the first time Brock Purdy is exposed. Okay. This will be the first game. And what are they 11 and 0 in their last games? This will be one of the games where you see, oh, he's a rookie.


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[Assistant] He's a rookie and you'll see the mistakes that rookies make because in these 11 games prior, there was no one


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[Assistant] There was no one on the opposing team.


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[Assistant] And strength and maneuverability of America's team's linebacker.


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[Assistant] Our defense is not like the defenses Brock Purdy has seen. I think you're gonna see some exposure. Whose we? And I think we're gonna dial it up.


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[Assistant] And I do not think you're going to see what you saw last week. And if you recall, I actually said that I thought Brock Purdy would struggle and he did struggle immensely that whole first half. It wasn't until the second half until he got things together. I think you'll see a lot of that first half Brock Purdy next week. Okay.


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[Assistant] 49ers have one of the best defenses in football. Tampa Bayes is good too, but when you have to be carry, carrying an awful offense led by a decrepit Tom Brady.


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[Assistant] I know Scooter said something about him being exposing himself or exposing himself. I will say this, he will be exposing himself. He'll be exposing those brass balls and that big cock and just slapping the cowboys with it all day.


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[Assistant] Oh, the Cowboys won because of the turnovers, not because they're actually the better team. Is that what you're going to say?


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[Assistant] No, they're going to say because Mike McCarthy probably ate Kyle Shanahan.


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[Assistant] Not gonna lie, that is what we would say.


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[Assistant] Okay, please just keep the same energy. Cause I don't want next week being some nonsense again. Oh, we're going up. We're going to know this is our year. It is the year of America's team.


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[Assistant] And I'm gonna be back next week and I'm gonna be saying the name of my team next week.


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[Assistant] All stream long. So just get prepared. Get prepared. Cause it's happening next week.


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[Assistant] Five. Five, what are you at? Come on, five. Come on, five. Five.


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[Assistant] A book report with a MLA formatted bibliography. Stop playing. He's gotta watch 80 for Brady.


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[Assistant] I forgot you had to watch Morbius. We are watching.


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[Assistant] That is fair. Purna, what is about to drop?


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[Assistant] That is fair. Still asking tree. I'm finally working on a video that isn't football related, which is incredible.


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[Assistant] World Cup related? NHL, hockey, hockey.


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[Assistant] Okay, well, speaking of non-football related videos, NBA videos are about to start on my channel. Oh, let's go. There you go. We got some more, uh, travel and-


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[Assistant] Orlando Magic Dwight. Put that on, you'll be able to cross over at least three to four people and or dunk. Immediately.


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[Assistant] No, I have to freaking, I have to get, dude, I know this has nothing to do with what we're talking about and I won't derail the show, but I'm just trying to get things in a row for next week. And I have not stopped working. So this is the first time I'm like, okay, oh, I gotta get a suit in like three days. Okay, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool. So yeah, so that's been good. It's been good. We're crushing it. We're crushing it out here.


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[Assistant] But yea, Rock Party gets a lot of hate, and Perna and I talked about this on GPS too. I think it's, like, if you watch that game against the Lions, like, there's some...


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[Assistant] There's some crazy throws he makes, and just some crazy plays he makes, and of course, like, he gets lucky on some of them. Who doesn't?


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[Assistant] But, like, finding, like, Kyle Juszczyk on the sideline, right, and just like, he is, like, under a ton of pressure and, like, trying to roll out to the left side and trying to dump, and it's just crazy, man. Like, I think he's a very good quarterback.


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[Assistant] It made no sense the game plan going into that game, like they didn't play to their strengths. And even with that, their defense, they shut out the Chiefs in the second half, the defense did its job and played really well.


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[Assistant] It's just, and they had opportunities. It's just the turnovers. It's just the penalties. And as tree talks about it too, right? It's just the Ravens shooting themselves in the foot. Like I've been saying that for months at that point. It's like the team that's going to beat the Ravens is the Ravens.


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[Assistant] And while the Chiefs, I'm not trying to take anything away from them because they had a good game plan, especially in that first half.


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[Assistant] It's just the Ravens had so many opportunities and they just did not allow themselves to, you know, execute. And it was, it was bad.


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[Assistant] I don't know if they win that game, but I think they potentially tie it at some point. Like maybe they get, cause they were getting momentum and then it was like really like one step forward, two steps back.


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[Assistant] Ron Rivera rumors to cowboys? Like that's a thing? That is a thing.


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[Assistant] That's funny. I don't think that is, though. Bad. Yeah. I don't think, like, I think Dan Cree's gonna be bad. I think Ron Rivera, I think all of us kind of agree on this, right? Like, when he was hired, it was very a cultural move. Because it was like, okay, we need to kinda...


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[Assistant] Really rein things in. There's a lot of things going on in Washington that were not great. Let's bring in Ron Rivera who can kind of reset the culture a little bit. And I think everyone also recognized that last year was probably not like a year to potentially get rid of him.


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[Assistant] They brought him in, they got new ownership, new management, and you kinda just knew from the beginning of the season unless he drastically turned it around, it was gonna be over. So I think they're gonna be better


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[Assistant] With Dan Quinn, obviously they have a very high draft pick.


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[Assistant] And they'll be able to have a bunch of cap space. They'll be able to rock and roll. I'm just-


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[Assistant] I think I'm more surprised, Belichick I get maybe, like if he's just interviewing with one, like okay, I'm shocked that Vrabel didn't get a job. Like as a head coach, like he's probably gonna get something, but I'm legitimately shocked that he didn't get, uh, a head coaching nod somewhere.


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[Assistant] Oh, Alex. Where was Alex at? He was in Cleveland, right?


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[Assistant] It, it's gonna be tougher. I mean, it's definitely gonna be more difficult. And plus, I think the, the thing about the Lions is if I'm not mistaken, how many games are they playing outdoors? I think it's very few. I think they're playing like maybe two or three. Uhm.


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[Assistant] I think that they, like, their schedule's not too bad, but they're also, like, the division's gonna get tougher. You know, the Packers are gonna be a better team. We'll see what the Bears do. The Vikings are gonna be really interesting. So, yeah, it's gonna be a battle. I think the NFC will be a little bit better.


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[Assistant] There's some teams I just don't know, like the Rams, I could see them being, you know, really problematic. We'll see how the Seahawks do. The NFC maybe not as lopsided this year. Maybe. Maybe.


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[Assistant] For the hires? I mean, I think the one that makes the most sense right now is Harbaugh with the chargers. I think that one just like, it fits the most.


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[Assistant] Cause you look at Dan Quinn, right, and how he's like met, and he's been that, we've been talking about him all season as like, oh, he's going to go to Seattle, he's going to go somewhere else.


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[Assistant] That last game, I think, left such a bad taste in people's mouths that you're just kinda like, okay, there's not too much excitement, but with McDonald's, you're like, okay, there's still excitement that defense was good for like, all year, and on top of that, they still put on a good performance in the AFC Championship game. Dan Quinn, not so much. Not so much.


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[Assistant] Canalys is going to like a rough place in Carolina just because of what it is, but I like the hire. Because like, they were going to be very limited on who they could bring in, who was willing to accept that job, and I know that sounds very harsh, but yeah. Yes, David Tepper is true. Exactly.


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[Assistant] But I think the work that he's done with Gino, the work that he's done with Baker, like you kinda need a coach in there to just figure out what you have.


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[Assistant] Uhm, but I think that's gonna be a rough situation. I am curious to see, like, how Antonio Pierce is going to do, because I'm curious of what the Raiders are gonna do this offseason. Like, are they gonna make a big jump for a quarterback? Are they gonna try to go free agency?


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[Assistant] Because their offense needs to get fixed. Their defense was looking good, but their offense needs to get fixed. So, and then the Patriots, like the Patriots are in this spot, but they have the benefit of being able to draft a QB. You know, so I feel like anywhere where they have to draft a QB,


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[Assistant] It's at least a little bit easier, cause you'll get at least a little bit of leeway.


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[Assistant] Yeah, Harbaugh is, dude, Harbaugh is gonna be given like the keys to the kingdom. Like, I mean...


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[Assistant] I think he's in a great position. They have Justin Herbert. I'm very curious to see how he runs that organization. And I said that very intentionally because I feel like he's going to be kind of like, get the Sean Payton treatment, right? Of like, yeah, he's going to work with the GM and stuff, but like, they're bringing in a big name head coach for a reason.


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[Assistant] Uh, the Packers hired their new defensive coordinator and everyone collectively went who?


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[Assistant] Uh, as a D-backs coach, she like helped coach up, uh, Durell Rivas, Sherman just spoke very highly of him. Oh yeah, I saw that. And, uh, D-Lawrence Nunn, which is great.


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[Assistant] No, the Packers, a lot of their free agents like Yash Nyman, Darnell Savage, AJ Dillon, like, I don't know if they're going to resign any of those guys.


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[Assistant] I mean, at this point, like, Scooter, you talked about this. It's like, it's Mike McCarthy's last chance. You could be looking at Dax, like...


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[Assistant] I don't want to say last chance, but it is, it's growing near, depending on what happens. Uhm, I know you're stuck with a whole bunch of money, right? You're gonna have to give him a new contract or...


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[Assistant] But yeaah, I think at the end of the day, like, there's just gonna be so much to look at. And...


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[Assistant] I was talking to Brandon about this. There's so many teams like the Cowboys, the Jets are on that list as well. Uhm, the 49ers, they don't get it done this year. There's a bunch of teams that like, they have to win.


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[Assistant] Like this is a make or break year, and Scooter was talking about this, that this year was a make or break year. It was. And then it's like, alright, we're gonna try it one more time, like we're gonna go all in this time, and I hate to make the comparison,


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[Assistant] But the Packers, like, they were the one seed 2020 and 2021, and they go, nope, we're going to bring Rogers back, we're going to give him this extension, we're going to make this work. And 2022, they didn't even make the playoffs. And then, you know, things kind of got dissembled from there.


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[Assistant] Isaiah Pacheco's gotta run the frickin' ball, man, because I think these past two weeks, you've seen Aaron Jones run all over the 49ers, you saw Gibson Monte run all over the 49ers, and I think that that's a great way to control the clock, and while Travis Kelce and Rashid Rice have been playing well, uhm, you know, the 49ers could limit that a little bit.


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[Assistant] But I think, I gotta be honest, if the Chiefs can go up against the Ravens defense, who absolutely smoked the 49ers, I don't think it's gonna be a blowout by any means, but that's why I'm leaning Chiefs. I think that they just have the experience, they've been there before, literally they were there a year ago and just won the entire thing.


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[Assistant] And I think that if they're able to get Pacheco going and really dominating the tie in possession, kind of like Detroit was doing in that first half against San Francisco, they'll win the game.


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[Assistant] Uh, this is actually really quick. That's a great, out of all of our teams. Which team is the furthest? So like including, like we'll include five in there.


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[Assistant] Yeah, I got, I think the 49ers put up a good fight. Like I could see a similar score to what we had last time when these two teams played. But yeah, I have the Chiefs winning. I just think that there's, I'm not shutting the door on the 49ers at all. I just think that the mistakes that they've made against the Lions and Packers, they're not going to be able to make those same mistakes against the Chiefs and get away with it.


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[Assistant] If he wins another Super Bowl, I think he's officially like top 3.


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[Assistant] Yeah, but that's the thing, like it depends on what you look at. Yes. Mmm. I don't know. Cowboys? Maybe. I don't forget. I forget when they- Yes, we have- Yes, there you go.


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[Assistant] It depends on how you measure it, because like I think that there are plenty of more talented QBs than Tom Brady. Tom Brady is the most accomplished QB of all. I think Aaron Rodgers, his career, like his talent level, I think is higher than Tom Brady. And Tom Brady has said that as well.


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[Assistant] So I think that there's guys who are more talented than him. It's just like, how are you measuring? It's all subjective, right? But it's like, how are you measuring that? If you're just doing accolades, then Tom Brady's the best of all time. That's an easy one. But when it comes to talent, I don't think he's the most talented QB to ever play the game.


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[Assistant] Take the snake to Roberts. It's a mess alert. Come on, Herna.


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[Assistant] Yeah, that's right. Time for the countdown, baby. Mmm. Here we go.


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[Assistant] 1 in 19, 18, 17, 16, 15, 4. Scooter's all hyped up for next season. It's gonna be the same score. That was a terrible rhyme. You know what? I'm so sorry. That, that effort was basically like the Cowboys against the Packers in that wild card round. It was just, it wasn't there. It fell flat. I just hope Scooter's smiling. Oh, thank god he is.


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[Assistant] Alright listen, I owe the muffins, which I have. I owe the apron, which I have. So like I have those. Once I'm back, we got those.


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[Assistant] Should just be like, sir, what is that? Oh, it's the camera. No, the bottle. Oh, it's just head and shoulders. My dandruff, you guys do not want to be sitting next to me.


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[Assistant] I was gonna have something today, but it's gonna wind up coming out tomorrow or something. I have to prep more for next week, so... Don't look at me. I'm gonna do Q&A and stuff tomorrow.


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[Assistant] Honestly, I think, I think it's a smart move on his part because now more people are talking about Tyree Kill and doesn't he do off the field stuff? Does he have a podcast? He has a YouTube.


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[Assistant] So, okay, so if he has YouTube, so right off the bat, more people are going to click on it because now they want to hear about this, so he just got more people to funnel to that. So whether he retires or not,


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[Assistant] It's kind of irrelevant. I also think it puts a bigger spotlight on him, um, you know, when he's playing in Miami. So maybe that leads to whether it's more endorsement deals or whether that just means to just him getting more publicity as a whole. I think he succeeded in that endeavor if that was his choice or that was what he was going for.


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[Assistant] Uhm, I think it's trying to, there's a few things I feel about this because...


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[Assistant] I think he's still going top 10. I think just the talent is there while obviously he's having legal issues, but also there was pro day, he couldn't finish the drills because he was nine pounds over where he was at the combine and just was out of shape. I think just again, his athletic like gifts, he will still go top 10.


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[Assistant] However, I also think that this is a direct attempt by his agent to try and drum up and just be like, yup, nope, we're sticking with that narrative, we're ignoring everything else, my man is going top ten. And anybody else? Nope, cause we're not even gonna think about that.


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[Assistant] But Sean Watson was the first one on the list! He was the first guy that was listed on his list! Oh Gerald, you son of a bitch!


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[Assistant] Where'd you buy that Black Panther poster? The Etsy?


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[Assistant] Yes, Brian Gudekon, the GM of the Green Bay Packers is actually going to get fired after next season, but it's going to have nothing to do with drafting. It's going to have nothing to do with Jordan Love's performance. It's just going to be revealed that he's lactose intolerant and you just can't have that as a Packers GM.


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[Assistant] And then he said, I wouldn't mind that, but relax.


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[Assistant] Yeah, you gotta do like 15 seconds. Just give us 15.


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[Assistant] I almost put Melvin Gordon because I thought you would have said, but, but you said you went on so many GPS rants talking about how Tom Brady was garbage.


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[Assistant] I'd literally almost type Melvin Gordon too, damn.


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[Assistant] Yeah, it's Detroit because the effing Lions beat out the Packers for it.


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[Assistant] Wait a minute, so I'm winning?


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[Assistant] I know the second one, I think, but I don't know the first one.


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[Assistant] Well, I have last names and they're not going to fit. So we can read them out afterwards. Uhm. Oh my God, who's the other?


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[Assistant] Yeaah. Remember when we were gonna do a shorter show today? Heh. What happened there? Nope. Well, I mean, uh, damn it, it froze again. I don't know where I'm at.


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[Assistant] Did you have any cavities? I have not had any cavities my entire life.


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[Assistant] Hey Brandon, didn't you have a great punishment about Tom Brady AI stand up that you just really wanted the next person to lose to do? And I said, yeah, that'd be a great punishment for you. And you said, no, I'm not going to do it. But now you've lost.


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[Assistant] So apparently there's an AI Tom Brady stand-up and Perna played two clips from it and he has to buy like the hour and what do you need to do with that, Brandon?


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[Assistant] What's everyone got coming out, Brandon?


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[Assistant] Thank you. What do you have coming out, Tom? Lion's Fan reaction finally coming out within the next like hour and a half.


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[Assistant] Bruh, this, this is great. I'm getting bodied.


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[Assistant] How the future is going to be and how weird AI already is making some things.


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[Assistant] Yep, I mean, we're all getting replaced by a chat GPT-4. And, uh, just so y'all know chat, GPT-4 just dropped. So if y'all want to go and play around with that one, punish Tree again today. I'm just saying. I'm just saying. We could see what the advanced version does.


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[Assistant] Yeah, once a week, just have chatgpt, write your video and see if we can tell the difference. Honestly, that's what you should do.


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[Assistant] I'm gonna start it off just cause they got my boy Connor McGovern who all of the cowboys just thought was just gonna come back.


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[Assistant] Uh, let's go better for the bills. For me. That's my vote.


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[Assistant] Yes. Larry Allen was a beast. Uh, he also messaged me once on Instagram. Yeah.


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[Assistant] Dolphin's got better, uh, any way you look at it. We can move on.


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[Assistant] Patriot. Oh, the Patriot signed Juju most recently.


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[Assistant] They are probably the worst team in the division.


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[Assistant] Juju Smith won a Super Bowl. That's gonna be a question on Jeopardy in a couple, maybe five, ten years from now.


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[Assistant] Keep that in mind. He won a Super Bowl with the Chiefs. Juju.


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[Assistant] I think we have to wait for this one. This is a TBD if you think about it. Because if they do sign all these players that Aaron Rodgers wants, they could be getting worse, uh, if you think about it.


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[Assistant] Tori. Yes, Tori. I'm just excited for Garrett Wilson.


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[Assistant] Shoot, do that so the cowboys can sign this man.


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[Assistant] Would you have rather had Stefan Gilmore than Patrick Peterson?


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[Assistant] Florida. Like, he went to Florida for a season. I know what I'm talking about. I've seen this man play. For a while.


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[Assistant] You have to make a video saying I am no longer a Packers fan.


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[Assistant] They're all coming back, honestly. I'm glad for the rivalry.


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[Assistant] It's gonna be good, it's gonna be heated, but they did not stay the same. Uh, that's the hill I'm dying on. They got worse. Five, what would you say?


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[Assistant] Because Jerry Jones actually...


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[Assistant] Uh, made a very difficult decision. Okay? I did not think we were going to cut Zeke.


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[Assistant] I think Zeke played injured, and I think because he played injured, a lot of his stats looked deflated. Had he taken the necessary time to heal up, same way Baker Mayfield should have taken the necessary time to heal up.


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[Assistant] Uh, so the fact that Jerry Jones was able to make that


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[Assistant] Hard, and that's a hard decision because if you look at all the reports out, Jerry Jones wanted to keep Zeke. They were talking about negotiating a deal with Zeke.


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[Assistant] Uh, arguably and Stephon Diggs and Stephon, uh, Diggs and Gilmore.


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[Assistant] Then we also have Jordan Lewis, which a lot of people are forgetting coming back from injury. We resigned Donovan Wilson, which I don't know if you guys even know who this guy is, but he is one of the most underrated players in the NFL. Resigned Donovan Wilson. We restructure a whole bunch of our players and Tyron Smith and Michael Gallup.


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[Assistant] We re-signed Vandresh, two years, 10 million, great deal, great value.


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[Assistant] Really, all the things that we need to do now, we still gotta get a receiver. We got, we have to make a decision with Dalton Schultz as well.


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[Assistant] Ultimately, I believe we got better.


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[Assistant] I mean, we can bring up the stats for Gilmore last season. He was in the 90th percentile for literally every position. So I actually tweeted something. I said, I'm going to show this to everyone who says, Gilmore is washed.


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[Assistant] Definitely just got demonetized if we weren't already.


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[Assistant] You have to dress up as Patrick Starr and go to Walmart and do high knees.


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[Assistant] I'm literally about to make a Zeke video right after this. Good. And it better show that final play.


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[Assistant] He's gonna get traded. We're gonna get some stuff.


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[Assistant] I hope Trey Lance does well as long as he doesn't go to the Vikings. I really do. I hope that he gets an opportunity to go and play and like be good. Like at least get a legitimate shot of being a great quarterback. Right?


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[Assistant] Brett Coleman, like I know it was a joke, but like, you know, Trey Lance is going to be sent to the Andy Reid school of QBs who know throw good. Like that, I would love that. Like just to go sit and then just get shipped somewhere. But.


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[Assistant] I've talked to Perna about this. The San Francisco 49ers, and maybe it's all because of jealousy and bitterness, which I am not ruling out, but they have gotten a pass from the national media


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[Assistant] For years and ye- The Green Bay Pack- Jordan Love throws an interception? Oh my god. How dare the Green Bay Packers? It's the worst thing in the history of the world. You traded-


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[Assistant] It's time 49ers, the reckoning is here. It's finally, finally here. And I hope Nick Bosa gets traded.


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[Assistant] Like seriously though, they get such a pass, and they better think.


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[Assistant] They better thank Brock Purdy every single day that they lucked, and it is luck, that they lucked into the last pick of the draft and turned out he could be a starting QB. Because if they didn't have him and they're starting Sam Darnold Week 1,


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[Assistant] Oh boy, I would have been even more ruthless. But legitimately, this is such a, and I'm not even talking about Lance, this trade is so bad for the 49ers that no matter what they recoup, because they ain't getting a first round pick back, what high is they're getting? Maybe a third, and that's a baby.


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[Assistant] That's what I was probably going around. Dude, like this is bad. And if they didn't have Rock Party, like they would have been set back for a long, long time. And they might still, we have to see, you know, how party recovers from his injury.


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[Assistant] My point is that, okay, let's just fast forward a tiny bit, right? So, how long, like, how open would you say the 49ers window actually is? Now, granted, they're in a terrible conference, because the NFC is hoopoo kaka right now.


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[Assistant] On top of that, their only real competition within the division is probably going to be the Seahawks, maybe the Rams if Stafford is healthy, and that's a big if. So at this point,


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[Assistant] They can get to the playoffs, I have no doubt about that, regardless of who's behind center. It's do they have enough to get over the top? Because the argument that we have to keep looking at is, whatever NFC team makes it to the Super Bowl,


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[Assistant] They're gonna have to go through the AFC team who has gone through a gauntlet. Whether it's Joe Burrow, whether it's Patrick Mahomes, whether it's Lamar Jackson, whether it's Josh Allen, whether it's Aaron Rodgers, like they will have been so battle tested.


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[Assistant] Can you beat a Patrick Mahomes in the Super Bowl with a Brock Purdy?


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[Assistant] Like that, that sometimes is the difference, especially against Patrick Mahomes.


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[Assistant] Well, I mean, to talk about like Pern, if you're saying it's a net positive, like that also is a thing. Like the amount of impact players who came in and like immediately made a difference. Like that's enormous and they could have just sat there. They could have just sat there. They could have had first round picks these past few drafts and they're done.


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[Assistant] You know, and that could have potentially gotten them over. Like they legitimately, they made a move.


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[Assistant] I mean, that's just, it's the, in the seventh rounder, you're not gonna be like, oh man, we did all this scouting on these guys. It's like, yeah, we did a little bit like, sure, like let's bring these guys in and hopefully if one of them makes the roster, you're like, we did it. You know, we, we did okay. So.


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[Assistant] I mean, again, I think it's kind of, we're letting them off the hook a little bit, and by we, I mean, just like, I think they are, they get a pass a lot. And I know if they're competitive, and their story was really good last year, they had injuries all about, and they couldn't keep a quarterback standing, and they made it to the NFC Championship game, and the way that ended felt very, very flat.


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[Assistant] Jordan Love is starting though. Like that's the big difference here. He's QB3. It's not even like, oh, you'll back up Purdy and you know, maybe you'll get a check. You're QB3 and they're talking about shipping them off. So it seems like the 49ers have, we're way past that point of like, oh, let's see what the kids got in them and give them a little bit more time to develop.


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[Assistant] I mean, like, you have Rodgers talking about Wilson too, he's just like, you know, and he's probably just talking, but he's just like, you know, I'll play for a couple years and then Zach Wilson will take over after learning from me and you'll have 15 to 18 years of good QB play, which again, it's just, it's whatever, it's garbage, it means nothing. But, I mean, there are,


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[Assistant] The jets are still holding on to them, and I think when we talk about the 49ers, we talk about


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[Assistant] How good the coaching is, we talk about the skill set, like the skill players that are around them, the offensive line, that you could bring in a Sam Darnold, put him behind center, and he's going to do well, right? Because the team that's supporting around him, I think it speaks volumes that Trey Lance is not even being given that same opportunity, because they must really not like him. Like they have to.


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[Assistant] See, I, if I'm the Vikings, like, I would hate this because if you worked out, if you're the Vikings, you have Kirk cousins left one year.


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[Assistant] You, you want a QB to learn, like have him go behind Kirk Cousins, because say whatever you want about Kirk Cousins, but he's gonna learn two things. One, he is going to learn how to be a better quarterback. And two, he's going to be able to spend Cole's cash efficiently. So it's a win-win for him either way, whether football's in his future or not. But legit, like having no pressure.


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[Assistant] Get a fourth round pick. Have a nice day. Sit, train lancer a year and say like, okay, let's see what happens.


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[Assistant] I guarantee, I almost, he will be the highest paid edgerusher in history. Yeaah. No.


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[Assistant] I think the deal gets done. I don't think the 49ers let the, like, I, there's no way. There's, I mean, they've talked about that too, just like how integral, like, he is of that team. So I don't, I don't see it.


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[Assistant] Point, when you're talking about the Raiders this year, I mean, you look at their franchise guys, it's Devonte Adams.


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[Assistant] Yeah, he had an injury, one. His best friend is not throwing him the ball anymore. And like, that's the reason why Rangers don't have those superstars. They have those two guys. They have Josh Jacobs when he's playing. They have no identity right now. So.


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[Assistant] Even the guy, Jimmy Garoppolo brought, like, got brought in. And Raiders fans were like, oh, okay.


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[Assistant] It doesn't excite anybody. They don't have their franchise quarterback. So they're just trying to figure it out. And I think be giving a ton of money to Josh Jacobs, regardless of how talented he is. And he's incredibly talented.


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[Assistant] I don't think that's really in their plans. They have no incentive to. And then you look at the running back market, which gives them even further, you know, reason not to.


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[Assistant] I think it's also funny because like the 49ers and Chiefs both did similar things. They didn't trade up, but like they go out and they get Clyde Edwards a lair like to be like their franchise running back. And then they stumble into Isaiah Pacheco in the seventh round, who is phenomenal.


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[Assistant] Right, so like they have the opposite problem except the 49ers just did it and they traded it on and it was with a QB. So yeah, I agree with Perna because at that point, if they hit on like anybody in that draft, they're like, oh, this is great. Like we're cool. We can win with Skymore, MVS, Juju Smith Schuster. But yeah, we're fine.


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[Assistant] But like Isaiah Simmons just has not worked out. If it's like kind of fitting what we're talking about right now, the draft is such a fricking crapshoot, man. You look at Jeff Okuda, right? Third overall. He got shipped off. Trey Lance didn't work. Third overall. Fricking Isaiah Simmons. Eighth overall. Like they are just...


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[Assistant] It's rough. It, it is rough. So they traded to get a seventh round pick from the, uh, the giants over here.


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[Assistant] Alright, uhm. But the Cardinals, so yeaah, they traded him, they just traded one of their offensive linemen as well.


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[Assistant] Yeah, Josh Jones. I mean, the Cardinals are in a, we've been talking about, they're in a weird place. I think that they are currently the favorite to be the worst team in the league.


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[Assistant] Next year, I think that there's not too much controversy with that.


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[Assistant] But they're going to be in a weird spot because Kyler Murray is going to come back at some point this season, hopefully. And then it's like, okay, how good are you? You have a new GM, you have a new head coach.


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[Assistant] I just, so that's the, here's the problem. Vorn, he only has until Tuesday and I know like a couple teams have said like they are, they are interested, but the culture, like we don't like the value because the culture trying to...


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[Assistant] Right? So at the end of the day, I don't know if Jonathan, I don't think Jonathan Taylor wants to play for the Colts anymore. I think that relationship is kind of ruined just from the stuff that I've looked into. That's just my read on it. But I mean, Tuesday is a pretty short deadline. We had to finalize 53-man rosters. I get it. But yeah, you like, you,


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[Assistant] I don't know, maybe it just comes down to, hey, there's a team willing to like give a second rounder to us and we'll just take that because we're not going to get anything for them, but.


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[Assistant] Weird is he, like, I think the do- everyone just talks about that anytime there's a running back that's slightly available, they're like Miami. Going to Miami right now. Dolphin. You're a dolphin. It- this would be a big move for them. Mike McDaniel would actually have to run the ball though. Like, cause they have like two competent running backs in Raheem Mostert and Jeff Wilson. Like, they're- they're not bad.


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[Assistant] You know, they got some speed. It's, are you going to then say, alright, we're gonna go get this guy for one year? Because you had to give him a new contract, right? I would assume that's gonna be part of the...


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[Assistant] I thought about the Bears too, like the Bears, I mean, cause they got like a little Herbert and stuff, but I mean, that wouldn't be Jonathan Taylor. They have, they have the cap room like they could. I feel like.


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[Assistant] I think that Justin Fields will do better this season because like DJ Moore, I love DJ Moore. I think he's a phenomenal wide receiver. I think, you know, they learn their lesson of like, okay, like this is how you actually scheme for Justin Fields and like let him be mobile and let him do things.


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[Assistant] I think they'll be better. I just don't think, like, they're gonna be a playoff team.


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[Assistant] Because I think they have too many holes in the defense now. That's because they shipped a lot of guys off. And like I said, their record will be better than the worst in football than it was last year. But...


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[Assistant] Yeah, like I see them kind of as like this weird like middle of the road team this year and then we'll see what they do after that.


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[Assistant] I feel like Jerry, and maybe I'm off base here, I feel like Jerry Jones.


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[Assistant] He's like, yeah, no, like even just being in Dallas for a little bit and hearing how they talk about Dak and listen, Dak is a good quarterback. He has his faults. We don't know if he's like the guy.


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[Assistant] But good god man, like the way that that organization talks about him, they're just like, nope, he's this amazing part of the community, like he's a staple, he's our guy. Like even Zeke, like we knew how many years back where like, Zeke should not have gotten.


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[Assistant] If you turn around and you're like, how much does a Super Bowl cost this year? And they were like $10 billion, he'd pay it.


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[Assistant] Bro, he wouldn't even pick up a DM, he wouldn't even answer a DM.


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[Assistant] I got it. I'll make the greatest hype video.


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[Assistant] Oh my god, it would make, oh my god, it would make Perna insane.


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[Assistant] Actually, uh, Tom, do you have a dice next to you?


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[Assistant] Uh, sad man baseball, like we all just watched it together, it was sad and pathetic.


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[Assistant] Yeah, they'll send them back to the hell that's ESPN.


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[Assistant] Uh, I think the Eagles just, uh, they wanna stay healthy and, and not have anything major. Like they want none of their players to get to either shoot themselves or get a DUI between now and February. That's all, that's all they want.


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[Assistant] Uh, they want some receivers, like some, some, even guys off the street could be.


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[Assistant] Useful. I mean, they went out and beat Washington with nobody. So they need, they need wide receivers. They need offensive weapons for Daniel Jones.


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[Assistant] They'll never live it down though. Some team has to blow a 30 point lead in the series.


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[Assistant] I've got a video with Sam Comrow where we just talk about sports the whole time and make, uh, edgy jokes.


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[Assistant] No, I like the idea that they could flex if there's enough time, but I don't like the fact that they're playing two-thirds of the night games. Brandon and I talked about this on GPS. It's gonna put like the top teams there and Brandon brought up a good point saying that it's gonna be right around playoffs because it's gonna happen around December and teams don't want that quick turnaround so I don't think it's gonna end well.


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[Assistant] Because it slows the game down even more so, and plus, I mean, besides, maybe you guys, because it is opening day, right? Today's opening day.


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[Assistant] I've seen a lot of, uh, umpires being real, uh, hm.


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[Assistant] As of late, they get really peeved and it's just spring training and stuff. I think NFL referees are a second place though of the most like fickle. They like to


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[Assistant] What happens if the Giants lose more games on the new turf? Do you get back the old turf and you sacrifice some ACLs?


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[Assistant] Honestly, there's not a whole lot of...


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[Assistant] Yeah, so that was, that was a time. So he got out of the darkness on 2.23, and then by, on 2.28, that's when Goody was like, oh, we gotta see about both sides, so.


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[Assistant] This is what you said last year, you're like, but this time. This time.


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[Assistant] Are we really a different program? Square jar!


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[Assistant] Okay, anyway, let's get into the actual thing. So, uh, one of the things that I wanted to bring to Clickbait Sports, considering we have the amount of people, is some improv games. I did improv a lot in college, very Who's Lying Is It Anyway kind of style, and I thought it would be absolutely perfect, uh, for this. So we're gonna start off with a super duper easy game this week, and it's gonna be called The Dating Game.


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[Assistant] So as you've ever seen, whose line is it anyway, or if you've ever watched a dating program, you will see...


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[Assistant] People, they could be around, they could be players, they could be coaches, something they have to do with football or the NFL. And so basically the whole goal of this is Scooter's going to be trying to figure out


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[Assistant] Who each of these individuals actually are. Which characters are they? So, with that being said, let's go with Five Point Vids. Let's take a look at the chat. Who is Five Point Vids?


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[Assistant] Alright, you know what? Eli Manning, Daniel Jones. How about this? You are an actual bear who is a fan of the Chicago Bears.


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[Assistant] Okay, so you are a fan of the bears, but you're an actual real-life bear. Okay? That's your character, you got it. Alright, we need Brandon Perna. Who is Brandon Perna? Give me something. I actually... You should be Russell Wilson. I can't!


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[Assistant] Oh boy. Okay, you're gonna bite some kneecaps. I feel like we could do this. Okay, so just to recap here. Five, who are you?


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[Assistant] I'm a bear that likes the bears. Yup.


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[Assistant] Okay, great. Hold on, let me call Scooter. I gotta, I gotta call him now. That's Twitter. Okay, please hold. Gotta call, gotta call, please hold. I should have had his number ready. Please hold. Your call is very important to us. Nope, nope, that's, that's a different person. There he is. Okay.


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[Assistant] There he is. Oh, there he is. Perfect. Excellent. Wonderful. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome our lovely bachelor one, Scooter Magruder. Everybody, a big round of applause. A big round of applause. Scooter, uh, before we get started, uh, thank you for coming on the show. I know that you're looking for love. Uh, you know, what kind of stuff are you looking for here?


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[Assistant] Excellent. Well, you know, I was about to say, it's a good thing you're looking for that because the Cowboys will not give it to you. So let's introduce our beautiful contestants here. We have contestant number one right here. Contestant one, uh, just say a little bit about yourself.


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[Assistant] Alright, a great job. Contestant number two, a little bit about yourself.


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[Assistant] Alright, well, seems like he is a clean wiper. So, with that, Scooter, uh, do you have a question either for each of the contestants or one question for all of the contestants?


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[Assistant] Wow, that, that sounds like an evening that you would never forget. Uh, contestant number two, uh, an idea of the perfect date.


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[Assistant] More flirting going on from contestant number two. And uh, Scooter, do you have a question for contestant number three?


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[Assistant] Okay, uh, well, Scooter, obviously some great answers. You 100% have the best contestants that we could have possibly offered. Uh, do you have any ideas of a contestant that you may want to eliminate? Maybe you've kind of just figured them out and you're kind of over it, or do you want to do another round of questioning just to get to know them a little bit better?


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[Assistant] Of course, of course, of course. So at this point, uh, Scooter, do you have another question for contestant 1-2? Could be the same one, also could be a different question.


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[Assistant] Uh, maybe a pirate of some sort. Uh, that's contested one. Thank you. Just a lovely accent. Okay.


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[Assistant] That's a very specific dating question. So the dating question is, are you an owner in Texas contestant number two?


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[Assistant] He was a bear. Yup. And now we're really just trying to figure out like what his hobbies are as a bear because it's a very specific thing that this one bear likes to do. Potentially like on a day of the week.


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[Assistant] Particularly maybe one specific day of the week. I am.


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[Assistant] If you don't mind, Scooter, if you don't mind. Contestant 1, uhm, what kind of things do you like to wear on dates?


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[Assistant] What fan of uh, what team would you say he's a fan of, Scooter? The Chicago Bears. So what is he?


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[Assistant] A bear? Who is a fan of? Chicago?


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[Assistant] Hey! Yeah, baby. We are live, Adam.


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[Assistant] No, give us the best version. We want a montage, it's gotta be sexy, it's gotta be hot. We'll wait for greatness.


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[Assistant] See, this is, this is, this is the worst part about John Gruden and Mike Mayock not being there with the Raiders. We cannot bet on them taking a third round talent in the first round anymore and just nailing that draft pick. It's going to be a little trickier this year with the Raiders.


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[Assistant] Uh, and the more and more teams just deal draft picks and take the F them picks approach.


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[Assistant] Like there are, what, one, two, five teams that don't even pick in the first round?


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[Assistant] That number's like gone up, like over the last three years, right? Yeaah. It used to be maybe one or two teams, and now it's just like... F them picks, baby. F them picks.


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[Assistant] You gotta be a little weird to be able to deal with Josh McDaniels. And if you're eating banana peels and putting mayo in your coffee...


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[Assistant] As long as you don't hit on his wife, you're going to get along with Josh McDaniel's fine.


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[Assistant] I think it's CJ Stroud, I agree with Tree. Ah, okay, fine.


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[Assistant] There's all this BS, all these smoke screens, none of it's gonna be true. BAM! Cardinals, on the clock.


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[Assistant] Alright, boom. Don't even swap drafts in.


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[Assistant] This is where I think people are linking Will Anderson to the Colts, but it is going to be Anthony Richardson.


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[Assistant] Oh, Scooter, if you had to do alcohol or weed, which would you choose? 100%.


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[Assistant] Now, if anybody hasn't seen our mock drafts before, we once accurately predicted Divine Diablo to the raiders, uh, taking him early, uh, I forget what we did last year, but


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[Assistant] I think we gave him smoke Monday, but he ended up going to the Saints.


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[Assistant] That was in the all too predictable John Gruden era. Got a different regime here. They feel like they're gonna go after Will Levis, but if you guys have different thoughts, I'm open.


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[Assistant] And I think like, Will Levis has a pretty incredible arm talent and is just fine tuning some of that.


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[Assistant] Andy's got those biceps. He's got biceps just like Tim Tebow. Who drafted Tim Tebow? Josh McDaniels. Okay. That worked out well. You convinced me. That went really well.


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[Assistant] See, I don't think the Falcons will trade for Lamar Jackson anymore.


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[Assistant] But maybe a team like the Titans would do that.


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[Assistant] Yeah, I think they, I think Tyree Wilson, really good pick here.


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[Assistant] Yeah, I believe Brock Purdy said he'll know he's ready to go when he can masturbate at full throttle again with his elbow. Well, he can always do the left.


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[Assistant] They're not gonna give up that pick for Traylands though.


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[Assistant] Yeah, I like that pick too. I think that makes a lot of sense.


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[Assistant] Alright, let's go Kancy. Because there's, I think there's some running backs I can grab later.


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[Assistant] This feels a bigger need, and it's, well, Bijon might be a big imba.


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[Assistant] Let's see if we can get the Titans Lamar Jackson. Baltimore Ravens.


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[Assistant] Let's see if we give up, uh. There we go.


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[Assistant] So the ravens are on the clock and the titans got themselves Lamar Jackson. Ooh, a Derek Henry, that'll be fun. That would be cool.


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[Assistant] Alright, so the Texans got themselves CJ Stroud. Yeaah, they're going Quentin Johnson to replace Brandon Cooks.


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[Assistant] I bet it's edge rusher Lucas Van Ness. Okay. Van Ness would be a good pick. Yea, feels like a Belichick pick, addresses a need.


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[Assistant] Okay, let's just say they trade for Rogers. They don't get a first rounder. They're sitting at 15, but they still do a draft pick.


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[Assistant] That shows just how much they would have pissed off Aaron Rogers had he stayed there. What can that be?


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[Assistant] Lion's on the clock. I think they're going defensive interior here. They grabbed their corner.


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[Assistant] You know, Steven Ross is a boob, that's what happened. I think Seahawks are gonna go edge here.


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[Assistant] Who do you want at edge? That's the question.


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[Assistant] I mean they could take Bijan, they're gonna move on from Dalvin Cook. Maybe, maybe.


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[Assistant] Alright, we'll give him a receiver to go opposite JJ.


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[Assistant] Yeah. Hold on, I'm going to find you 6-4. You're getting 6-4 and you're going to like it. Oh, 6-3. Oh, okay, he's 6-3. You get A.T. Perry. Boom.


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[Assistant] They could, they could draft Bijan and then withdraw the franchise tag off of uh, Tony Pollard.


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[Assistant] He's got, he's ranked as the best tackle in some draft.


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[Assistant] People got mad at me because I didn't go defensive, uh, line for the Saints. Kobe Turner!


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[Assistant] Kobe! D-line. Let's give him Maisie Smith, huh? Wait, hold on, let me...


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[Assistant] Oh my gosh. So Eagles went defensive interior.


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[Assistant] I know the most famous Pokemon, which is Digimon, Pikachu, and the guy with the baseball hat. Ash Ketchum? You really don't know any other Pokemon?


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[Assistant] Uh, I could name the guy not playing for the Abbs cause he's hurt and Gabe Landis God. We got Nate McKinnon. There's two right there. Hey, you're in. You're living. You're living. Cause he's also sick.


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[Assistant] I uploaded, uh, Trey Lance to the Texans, question mark, Bryce Young, go a number one news video, uh, so it's there. But I think I'm just gonna start doing Pokemon content.


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[Assistant] Y'all do not watch SEC football. Y'all do not watch SEC football.


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[Assistant] Yeah. Johnny Barks just sent us a video that we should show on clickbait. It's 22 seconds long. I just put it up there. Ready?


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[Assistant] Devin Witherspoon or Christian Gonzalez really makes sense here.


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[Assistant] They brought guys in, but like, they need another one, especially Okuda left. They, they went, cause he was what, the number two or three overall pick?


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[Assistant] Okay. Alright kids, I'm outta here.


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[Assistant] I'm raising money for the Central Texas Food Bank. We did this last year as well. Running it back.


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[Assistant] He said the reason he was able to be quarterback in the league so long was because


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[Assistant] The repercussions of a young quarterback who maybe in the moment misspoke, uh, would love to have that opportunity back and say, you know what? This is on me. This is a hundred percent on me. I let my team down. It was my fault. Blame me.


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[Assistant] That's not what we saw. So, uh, I think this is the right call and I think he will start again this season, personally.


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[Assistant] I'm not so sure. I'm not so sure. Uh, Tom, what do you think about this?


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[Assistant] What about these other quarterbacks though? We've dissected Zach Wilson. Who else? Who else are we talking about?


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[Assistant] Committing to the tank as well? What are the Broncos doing? Are you guys committing to the tank as well? What's going on with you guys?


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[Assistant] Listen, don't give up on the Packers too soon. I believe you guys can beat the Eagles this week. They struggled against the Colts and Aaron Rodgers still has a bit of a, some witchcraft.


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[Assistant] Starting job to an injury. He came out and like opened up about this and was sad. He like, he was literally sad that he lost because the coaches told him you would never lose your job to an injury. And that's exactly what happened. So to me, Jamis still has some stuff left in him. I don't even know.


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[Assistant] If, uh, but Baker looks like he's done and he looks, he's been looking like he's done for a couple of seasons. Brandon, what do you think?


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[Assistant] He was a better quarterback. Oklahoma quarterback who lost to the University of Florida Sam Bradford.


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[Assistant] So, Sam Bradford and his whole career was 34, 48, and 1.


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[Assistant] 34, 48, and 1. Baker Mayfield currently...


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[Assistant] The Dallas Cowboys. Defeating.


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[Assistant] We're not gonna, we're just not gonna gloss over this because this was the best win I have ever seen in my life.


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[Assistant] The Dallas Cowboys put up. I don't know if you guys were watching this game five. Be scared for Thursday.


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[Assistant] Tree, I don't know if you guys were able to check this out, but what I saw during this game was a complete team.


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[Assistant] You look like you want to say something. What do you think the likelihood is of America's team


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[Assistant] Reaching the precipice, returning to the glory of old.


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[Assistant] So I mean that, that almost happened, like we almost were able to do that, so you're saying...


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[Assistant] Five, let me hear your take on the Dallas Cowboys. We're playing you on Thursday. Are you afraid?


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[Assistant] So you're giving the Cowboys no respect for sacking this man the most he's ever been sacked in his career.


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[Assistant] Okay, yes, that's true. But what happened when Zeke was out and we gave Tony Pollard a full load? What happened?


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[Assistant] A lot of people are looking at Tony Pollard is a big play, he is the big play threat that the Cowboys have on our team. It's him. He's the guy. But a lot of people discount the fact that


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[Assistant] He can hurt you just as bad receiving the ball. There was a stat that came out that said Tony Pollard has more yards than some top receivers right now receiving the ball. So to me it's not as much, uh,


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[Assistant] How many runs he gets, it's how many targets does he get. If we target this man in the past game, in addition to giving him...


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[Assistant] 10, 15 carries. I'm with you, Brady. Listen. I'm with you all the way.


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[Assistant] You take Micah Parsons. That's who you take.


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[Assistant] You already had Chubb and Von Miller at the time. Yea, they had, they had, they had. I don't care who they have. Now you have Von Miller and Micah Parsons and you're getting every tackle four yards behind the line of scrimmage. That's what you do.


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[Assistant] I agree to some extent, but like to me, Micah's gonna, Micah's gonna get his, like he almost got his playing his position against the Packers. He was always a split second away from getting to Aaron Rodgers. So to me, yes, I agree with what you're saying, but to a lesser extent with the quarterback fit, cause that is like very, uh, important, the quarterback fit in coaching.


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[Assistant] And remember, I wanted Surtan. I wanted Patrick Surtan for the Cowboys back in the day. Cause I knew. I knew this man. This man has a legacy. It's in his DNA.


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[Assistant] We're at two hundo right now for the Central Texas Food Bank.


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[Assistant] I will be making it, whatever we don't reach up to 300, I'll fill in. So, uh, y'all donate something.


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[Assistant] Four years since I've been happy.


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[Assistant] We are firing on all cylinders. I looked at the injury report.


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[Assistant] For the Giants? Uh, they got a lot of people out! We have no way-


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[Assistant] We have no excuses because they're missing Evan Neal. Okay, they're missing some prominent people here.


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[Assistant] And looking at what we did to the Vikings, uh, who were also missing one of their best linemen, I feel like...


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[Assistant] Maybe we could have some sort of repeat, recreation of a game versus the Vikings. Six, seven sacks against Daniel Jones.


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[Assistant] Is ham better than turkey for Thanksgiving? Ham or turkey? In the comments. What are you going? Tacos! What are you guys thinking? Who has tacos?


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[Assistant] I just started a new series on Instagram called is this a travel where I do basketball moves? None of them are travel.


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[Assistant] Google them and search for big dicks. Just text those. Say it was mine. Yeaah. That'll probably work.


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[Assistant] All crime would have stopped had we just not been suing the football commanders. It's like, okay.


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[Assistant] It's your sandwich. It's called the Danger Witch. And it's dangerously good.


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[Assistant] Yeah, how this went is I logged on and Scooter's just like, Oh, hey, what's going on? We got a nice background now. And then it was like, Brandon, have you seen coach tree comes on tree? Have you seen coach?