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[Assistant] Uhm, and we've seen other players do that as well, but...


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[Assistant] I think quarterback contracts are more complicated and


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[Assistant] We can give Ro Kwon credit for possibly being a better agent than Lamar Jackson. What we don't know is how Lamar has actually like negotiated with the Ravens. We really don't know how they've negotiated with him. We've heard that they've offered him tons and tons of guaranteed money and that he said no to all of that.


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[Assistant] But that's really coming from the ravens, and so we don't, like, when you have an agent handle,


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[Assistant] These type of complicated scenarios, I think...


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[Assistant] Uh, the Agents 1 do a better job at controlling the information and the narrative. Yes. In addition to, like, all the complexities that go into a quarterback.


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[Assistant] You know, deal, cause like the way I imagine this is just Lamar.


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[Assistant] He's got sunglasses on too, like looking very cool when he sits down with the Ravens and they make him an offer and he's just like, it's not fully guaranteed. No.


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[Assistant] And that's like all he's ever said to them, in my mind.


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[Assistant] Yeah, maybe, yeah. NFL always does weird things.


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[Assistant] The worst version of Aaron Rodgers is better than any jet quarterback since Ryan Fitzmagic? Who had just like crazy good outlier season?


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[Assistant] Yeah, it's, they, they, you know, they would like to know who their quarterback might be before free agency starts on Wednesday.


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[Assistant] It's from the NBA, and I apologize in advance, Scooter, but this is the best thing I've ever seen in my life.


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[Assistant] It's like a political party. Everyone, it's like the, the, the political party that you are not. You're just like, don't like it.


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[Assistant] He's gonna make whoever, wherever he goes, better.


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[Assistant] If Scooter doesn't want the 200, he has to Venmo me $200 right now for me to accept the punishment.


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[Assistant] Oh, Scooter's gotta sing, he's gotta sing a Bruce Springsting song.


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[Assistant] Player. I say this! Wait, wait, K'Kwon Barkley just died? What? Here's the thing.


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[Assistant] Saquon is a great running back. He might be the best running back in the NFL right now, but Kadarius Tony.


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[Assistant] Can run the ball and he also can catch the ball. Therefore his value is greater. You're going to see this.


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[Assistant] And it's going to be, I will be vindicated, right? I have all these people coming at me. You don't know football. You don't know what you're talking about. Let's see what happens.


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[Assistant] He's going to the perfect situation in Kansas City. And honestly a third and a sixth.


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[Assistant] Look, it's a win for both teams. The Giants get, uh, some picks for someone who they were never going to play ever again, who was residually injured.


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[Assistant] And the Chiefs get a dynamic playmaker. Look at what they're saying. They're saying that


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[Assistant] The Chiefs support Mahomes. Mahomes, Tyree Kill goes to the Dolphins and look what the Chiefs have done to replace all that help. Cowboys let go of Amari Cooper.


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[Assistant] What have we done? We're not doing the same thing. So it's going to be fascinating. I think this is one of the best things that can happen to Tony. I'm interested to hear what you guys have to say about this.


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[Assistant] Here's the crazy- That's value. That's good value for Tony.


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[Assistant] With the Broncos performing so poorly and the trade deadline looming


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[Assistant] Are the Broncos sellers for this, uh, for this trade deadline? Will we see any type of fire sale happening like some other teams are doing? Are we preparing to tank? What's going on Perna? Walk us through the situation as the trade deadline approaches.


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[Assistant] It's interesting because both Chubb and Judy were linked to Cowboys rumor mills of trades, potential trades happening. Personally, I just want y'all to give us Randy Gregory back and just like stop playing.


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[Assistant] Yeah, trade them on IR. Bring it back, bro. Bring it back. Make it happen. Make something happen.


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[Assistant] If you guys recall, Robert Quinn was on the Dallas Cowboys for the 2019 season and he balled out that season. He played really well that football season.


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[Assistant] The problem is, that was three years ago. Now, I tweeted out, is Robert Quinn good? Just, you know, just a gauge. Like, where's he at now? I know the player he was three years ago. I haven't been watching too much Robert Quinn footage, uh, since he's not on the Cowboys anymore. And what I got was a mixed bag of results.


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[Assistant] Last year apparently this man had over 18 sacks.


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[Assistant] But you look at the stats this year, it's not on par. In fact, he has zero sex this year. And then a lot of people are saying it's because, well,


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[Assistant] He's been getting double teamed. They're, they're shading him. They got play. So I honestly do not know the type of player Robert Quinn is coming into the Eagles with that being said.


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[Assistant] The Eagles are doing a phenomenal job with their


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[Assistant] Player acquisitions. Look at what they've done with their receivers. They've gone out and they've gotten, they've surrounded Jalen Hurtz.


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[Assistant] For success, they've set this man up and they're doing the same thing on defense now. So as a Cowboys fan, I hate this, even if I don't know if this man is good or bad. The Eagles have two first round picks this year and so, and they're going to be high picks too. So


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[Assistant] It looks like things are getting worse for NFCE's teams here. I don't know how you feel.


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[Assistant] We're going for a Super Bowl. It just sucks to see a rival doing something you wish your team would do.


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[Assistant] Push all of your chips in! Go for something! How long has it been for the Cowboys have pushed all of their chips in?


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[Assistant] Okay, yes, I have gotten screwed on some trades. Roy Williams, we messed that one up. Joey Galloway, maybe not the best. Okay, I understand. We have some problem.


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[Assistant] But that doesn't mean never do it ever again. So I would like to see the Cowboys to be some buyers in this as the trade deadline comes. I would like to see a Bradley shop.


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[Assistant] You got all this pressure on deck. The front office is doing nothing!


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[Assistant] And, and how many other players? You would have to trade us your whole defense.


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[Assistant] Let's just move on. That's unrealistic. I'm not gonna entertain nonsense.


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[Assistant] You actually did. You did. You brought back Michael Gallup. You brought back Michael Gallup. You brought back Michael Gallup.


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[Assistant] No, I know. But if you go back, look when we traded Amari Cooper, look at who we could have signed, some people we could have brought in, and what we actually did. That's all I'm saying.


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[Assistant] We should have navigated Amari Cooper. I don't care what we couldn't, we move it somewhere else. Extend, extend somewhere else.


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[Assistant] They're what? Did y'all actually hear the report about that? Do you guys know the story about that?


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[Assistant] They, they did, Stephen tried to lowball DeMarcus Lawrence. He talks about this actually. DeMarcus Lawrence talks about his contract. He said he was...


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[Assistant] Disrespected by the offer Steven presented with him and he was planning.


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[Assistant] Uh, what ended up happening though was Jerry Jones came in and he said, what's going on? And he said.


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[Assistant] Oh, I, we're, I don't want to pay to Marcus Lawrence all this money. He said, what are you doing? You paid to Marcus Lawrence that money. He's been faithful. He's been loyal. Pay him his money. And that's why the Marcus Lawrence is still on this team. So I am very fearful for whenever the time comes where they pass over the gauntlet to Steven.


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[Assistant] Because we've seen what Stephen is all about.


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[Assistant] And honestly, it is not good. It is not players first. It is money first. So...


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[Assistant] I think, uh, I think this is the last season for Dalton Schultz with the Cowboys.


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[Assistant] Who is this man's PR agent and what are they advising him on? Because what I would not say.


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[Assistant] Is to go out and to tell people you're doing high knees on an airplane ever. Like if you're ever considering doing high knees on an airplane.


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[Assistant] What are you doing? Your next flight you get on, someone starts doing high knees up and down the aisles. What are you guys doing? Tackling that person.


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[Assistant] No, like I'm pretty, I, if I'm looking at this, this man is genuine. He's dead serious. He's trying to get treatment. He's trying to get right so he can be there for his team. He's, he thinks this is what he should be doing. High knees on an airplane. His troll level's not that high. High knees, high knees.


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[Assistant] Something's going on. Like, that's not normal. That's not normal.


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[Assistant] I think Russell Wilson is the type of guy who will say on the sideline, uhm,


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[Assistant] Hey guys, let's make sure we're calling out pass when it's a pass and run.


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[Assistant] Like, uh, the Cowboys can win the Super Bowl at any given time. We're in the NFC East. I'm dead serious.


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[Assistant] I agree. Kobe always backed up everything. Regardless of if he's winning or not, Kobe had the stats to talk trash, to say you need to get better, you need to do, be here in the gym when I'm in the gym. Uh, I like what Brandon said though, and he's a hundred percent right. It's just because he's not winning. If, and when Russell Wilson starts to win,


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[Assistant] If and when Russell Westbrook starts shooting well, all the critics will subside. All you have to do is win.


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[Assistant] The thing is, like, if Russell can't turn it around, this sets the Broncos franchise back ten years. Four years! Ten! It's a new, it's a new Herschel Walker trade.


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[Assistant] Well, Russell Westbrook has been a good shooter at one point in time. Ben Simmons never has. Okay. This is not like something that's within him. That's not his gameplay. Uh, Ben Simmons is a pass first point guard. He's a facilitator. Um, so


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[Assistant] Boncaro, Boncaro. So Paulo Boncaro actually has been killing it. He is one of the first rookies ever to post 20 points his first four games. He's one of three, literally one of three rookies.


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[Assistant] His first game he ever played, he posted over 20 points. Uh, he's been really impressive.


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[Assistant] This is a supporting cast that's been, uh, kind of letting him down. Magic have yet to win a game, but I do think, uh,


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[Assistant] It's not that bad, right? This is not a bad time to be a losing team in the NBA with the Victor Wimbanyama sweepstakes coming up. Uh, the best prospect since LeBron and they're saying he's even a better prospect than LeBron at seven foot three already.


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[Assistant] So we'll see, we'll see how it plays out.


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[Assistant] Tell me why I was playing with the center from the national championship Yukon team. I had no idea. It was just a six foot nine dude. Yeah. They're like, yeah, we got a big man coming.


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[Assistant] He was on the national championship team yamming on people. I just passed him the ball the whole game. I'm sorry.


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[Assistant] I had no clue! This man, national championship winner.


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[Assistant] He's on my team. He's on my team. I'll just pass him the ball. And he got mad when I did not pass him the ball.


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[Assistant] So they got the Browns. The next four games are as following for the Bengals. They got the Browns, the Panthers, the Steelers, and the Titans. All winnable games.


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[Assistant] I'd say we preview the game and then talk about who we want our teams potentially to trade for slash who might get treated from our teams.


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[Assistant] This actually is a very important game for both teams. Just looking at schedule wise, if the Bucks drop this game, it might be very difficult, especially with the way some of these NFC East teams are playing to make the playoffs. Tom, you're shaking your head no? Elaborate.


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[Assistant] Absolutely not. Someone clip that immediately and be ready to post on Twitter tonight. Uh, I'm hopeful for a Ravens blowout. Okay, Lamar is going to cook.


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[Assistant] And I am going to enjoy watching the demise of Thomas Brady right before my eyes. The tweets will be flowing. Okay. Listen, I don't hate the Bucks. Okay. You're a Bucks fan. I'm sorry. This is your fault for signing Tom Brady. Y'all got the Superbowl. Now you have to deal with this. Okay. Can't have one without the other.


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[Assistant] Tom, who's getting traded from the Packers and who do you want on the Packers?


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[Assistant] What would you be willing to give up for DJ Moore? Mari Rogers.


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[Assistant] We are in a spending freeze. As far as the Cowboys go, I look for us to pick up a cornerback actually. I'm not sure who, but Jordan Lewis is out for the year now. So I think we will look for some depth there.


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[Assistant] Um, I think you might see us pick up a receiver, but the problem is this, like our front office has stood.


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[Assistant] No, we don't want him. Our front office has stood firm in the fact that they're comfortable.


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[Assistant] With the receivers that we have, they said, Hey, Noah Brown can do.


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[Assistant] Uh, the injury report, he, he's not too far off from being back. They're saying, so I look for us not to pick up another receiver.


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[Assistant] I did see Kareem Hunt, uh, they were, they were saying you could get Kareem Hunt for as low as a fourth round pick and some of the things I was looking at. So, uh, we'll see. We'll see how it plays out.


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[Assistant] Brandon Perna, ladies and gentlemen.


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[Assistant] So you have to dress up like Russell Wilson.


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[Assistant] Chat, help us out with a punishment for Purna.


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[Assistant] This is a substantial punishment now. He's almost cracking, uh, 1k here.


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[Assistant] You don't have to eat the remainder danger, which is we're going to know in a week though.


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[Assistant] If you get two people to do high knees with you, two strangers, you get a veto.


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[Assistant] I got an untitled Dallas Cowboys sketch. Uh, we're getting into sketch comedy. Uh, that's all I'm gonna say. Be on the lookout. That's all I'm gonna say.


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[Assistant] Main thing is, he just couldn't stay healthy on the field and it's just, if you give up a first round pick a year after for,


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[Assistant] A conditional third. It's not Alex Leatherwood bad, but it's, it's a bad look for the previous regime. And it's just another strike on the Dave Gettleman era. Because, I mean, they made a lot of mistakes during that era. That's why I can agree.


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[Assistant] A lot of bad free agent signings they're trying to get out of, uh, you know, wide receiver issues, drafting problems that have sort of corrected itself, but still, they were much maligned. But, it says something that this team is still 6-1, despite Dave Gov.


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[Assistant] You can eat, he has a four-year, four-million-dollar contract, Nathaniel Huygens. So you can eat 12 million. You just got bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop


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[Assistant] Yeah, Russell Wilson, you are paying $250 million and you're gonna have to guarantee most of that, so.


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[Assistant] They're doing this right now because Robert Quinn's still under contract for 2023 and 2024, so it's a risky move either way if you consider it.


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[Assistant] Cause Robert Quinn's in his early thirties, he's starting to show his age a little bit. They're pushing for now.


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[Assistant] The biggest mistake they made was that they traded him too early. Once uhm, Christian Kirk got signed to that ridiculous contract, that's when everybody started getting traded off.


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[Assistant] Such as, you know, Davante Adams, which, I mean, Green Bay matched the offer. He just wanted to go to Oakland.


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[Assistant] Yeah, like Tyree Kill went to the Chiefs, AJ Brown went to the Eagles. It was that domino that started everything. So that was the issue with the Cowboys trading Amari Cooper.


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[Assistant] We should have never traded a Mario Cooper. I'm on record. You need a cap. How are you going to get caps made?


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[Assistant] the ball that much. He's twice. Yeah, but here's Do you keep Amari Cooper o Lawrence? Because there wa


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[Assistant] I think it just implements T Higgins and Tyler Boyd and Hayden Hurst into a greater role. I think it's going to hurt the Bengals offense, but I think with Joe Burrow clicking the way he is, I think they'll still be okay for the time being. Who do I play?


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[Assistant] We will also take Michael Parsons and we will take Zach Martin and in return you can get the eternally frustrating Chase Claypool. I'm good. We're good on that.


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[Assistant] He's frustrated. He's very inconsistent. Like he'll have like these games where you think, wow, this guy's really talented. And then he has games where he just vanishes and does nothing.


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[Assistant] Top 3 wide receiver in the NFL, dude. You're probably not even top 3 in the Steelers right now.


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[Assistant] It's three in a row and it's the first time he'll be two games under 500 in his career.


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[Assistant] Brandon, you're gonna upload that to Pornhub, aren't you?


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[Assistant] Uh, there are some rumors about like they're people looking to get Cameron Hayward. They turn them down because they still think they can make the playoffs. If anything, they may acquire an offensive lineman for depth, but for the most part, I think they mostly stand back.


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[Assistant] Yeaah. So like there, there's being linked to the Eagles, maybe the Bills. I know he does have that trial. So he might get suspended.


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[Assistant] Well, we could also do something. Would you rather do that or watch the NFL Pylon?


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[Assistant] Is Elmo sad that he's making 10 million a year in Kansas City?


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[Assistant] Don't listen to me, man. Our stadium was completely imploded by a supervillain and most of the team died except for Hineswood. So, uh, don't give me that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That looks like from a third world country. It looks like it's, uh, somebody from, um, Argentina, Brazil or Ecuador after a bad decision by a referee.


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[Assistant] Well, what if you don't have any water? Suppose you're in the room and there's smoke everywhere, there's fire, and your parents are burning alive and are being singed by a demon. What would you do in that situation?


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[Assistant] It's because Cleveland has absolutely no leverage. They traded for a franchise quarterback. He's visibly unhappy. He requested to trade. Cleveland says no. And you'd be lucky to get a third round pick for him at this point. Not because of what he is. Yeah, because...


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[Assistant] Look, everyone knows they need to trade Baker Mayfield. He's coming off a terrible season with an injury he shouldn't have been playing on. It doesn't matter about his reputation, how good he did in 2020. Everyone knows they need to get rid of him. So you know what?


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[Assistant] That's a Darius Smith sign with the Minnesota Vikings and they're going to meet right at the quarterback. How do you feel about that?


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[Assistant] Negotiation and also with, uh, with situation with, uh, the Dallas Cowboys, they felt that Amari Cooper, you could have saved more money at him and people saw that coming from a mile away. So they saw it as more let's shed salary. And in Kansas City situation, they saw it as more.


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[Assistant] Let's get assets in return for one of our biggest weapons in the office.


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[Assistant] I asked because you needed to extend Michael Gallup. You wanted that money so that's why you traded Amari Cooper for significantly less than his value because you wanted that cap space.


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[Assistant] No, it's, it's not always about the money, Elmo. It's about knocking the cowboys. Okay.


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[Assistant] They were this close to getting Deshaun Watson, which would have set them back years because they would have traded Trapix and got bigger issues than, you know, trading for Deshaun Watson and then probably signing Jarvis Landry and Leonard Furnett.


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[Assistant] They probably pissed off Matt Ryan in that process, and then they said like, look,


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[Assistant] Just quietly trade me to somewhere, help me get a chance in another ring because Atlanta isn't going anywhere. Let's be real. And they are taking a...


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[Assistant] Like 40 to 45 million dollar dead cap hit just to trade Matt Ryan.


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[Assistant] And also some breaking news. The Patriots have officially signed Malcolm Butler. So Malcolm Butler is coming back.


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[Assistant] Now what's going to happen is you're going to trade probably for Devonte Parker, probably a second round pick, and then that'll be that.


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[Assistant] I heard nothing about him, Stefan Gilmore. All I heard was about how much of a mess Carolina is. Carolina apparently has no interest in Baker Mayfield. They might be the ones to trade for Jimmy G.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Somehow. No, I thought he got released because he had requested a trade.


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[Assistant] Well, they saw what the Rams did, they threw all their first round picks and they won a ring, so everyone's gonna imitate that.


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[Assistant] Bears no, I mean bears are gonna be lucky if uh, Justin Fields isn't killed with how bad their lines are.


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[Assistant] And you can have Chase Claypool, and you can all do the TikToks together.


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[Assistant] Well, it was bad a couple of years ago. That's when you do some things, game thing when he was dancing on the logos and I like,


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[Assistant] How do you say? No, I think they missed and it'll be hilarious.


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[Assistant] Packers? It depends if he, if Aaron Rodgers has something to throw.


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[Assistant] If he's cheap and takes a one year deal, Julio Jones. No actually, you should sign Tim Tebow. Tim Tebow is a tight end.


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[Assistant] Uhm, half tempted to have them sign Baker Mayfield just as a one-up to Cleveland in case they win.


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[Assistant] So I think they're looking at the Honey Badger, maybe bringing back Tyrell Edmonds, and I think one more option. I forget who it is. Okay. So there's just one more move to really make and then draft it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's even worse for Italy. Guess which team they lost to? What team? North Macedonia.


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[Assistant] How does that happen? They lost 1-0. Italy had 32 shots, 5 on target. North Macedonia had 4 shots, 2 on target, 1 went in. And that's why Italy's out of the playoffs.


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[Assistant] I think I know what you need to do. You need to recap or depict how the fire at Mile High Stadium started.


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[Assistant] Well, you know what, it's good that, it's good that the uh, quality wasn't, you know, good hopefully when I made that first throw out in right field. So hopefully the quality was bad then. Hopefully the quality got better after that. So nobody could see that. But let me tell you something, these guys are fast.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] These guys are so fast. They hit that ball in the right field and I heard everybody tell me he was going to second and I thought I didn't really think he was. I looked up guy was already on second base.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, it's actually a funny story I did. I was, I mean, I was, I think, I feel like I was pretty good. Uhm.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then, I think it was either my 9th or 10th grade year, I fractured a vertebrae in my spine, so that was fine. And, uh, I could, after that, my, uh, MLB career, I mean, MLB career, my baseball career, I wish it was a MLB career, my baseball career ended after that. But let's go! Nice job, baby!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's a good, well, I've been very, actually draft Nick Mark was very good out in the field, but Eric, the guy, uh, King of Juco. Eric Sim. He can hit some bombs. Yes, he can hit some bombs.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's uhm, I can't believe my one at bat. I didn't even get to swing.


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[Assistant] Well, the thing is, I don't know how long we're playing. I don't like, because originally it was supposed to be a three inning game. So we're obviously, I think we have 16 guys. We're trying to get everybody playing time, you know?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But uh, our guys have heart, we have heart, we're gonna fight to the end. Not really sure we have a comeback, you know, in store. But I mean, we're out here, we're trying, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think so, and this is, this is where the controversy begins because that is the guy who struck out before my at bat.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They were sweating after that first game.


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[Assistant] I'm, I'm just as confused as, as you are.


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[Assistant] That, that honestly, when I first agreed to this, I kinda assumed that was gonna be the case. Like, not necessarily having extra filters out there. But when I was told...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That they were going to have like their actual pitchers going like 100%. I was like, oh, so it's, it's, it's that kind of game. It's that I was assuming, you know, something like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A little bit, uhm. Okay. I'm not really sure how this is legal. I'm not sure how this is kind of, you know, worded in the rule book or anything.


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[Assistant] No, to be completely honest, taking VP before the game was the first time I've ever hit with a wooden bat in my life.


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[Assistant] Uhm, I didn't even have my jersey, it didn't even come in time, so that was, it came in today, a little late, you know. Uhm.


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[Assistant] They couldn't, uh, Adam couldn't convince you guys. Five points couldn't convince you guys to come play.


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[Assistant] I just, all I, I just wanted, I just wanted to make contact. That's all I wanted to do. That's all I do. I didn't even swing once.


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[Assistant] Yep, prepare that sad face. It's about as unfair as a quarterback draw. Let's go. InSportsDraftKings.com


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[Assistant] Get ready for that donation amount, dude. I had like 47, 38 donations out the wazoo the week the Steelers lost. So, uh, yeah, have fun with that, buddy. Uhm, we have another video to play.


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[Assistant] The 49ers, Danny Day, you have lost your mind. There's no way the Cowboys are losing to the 49ers. Someone clip it.


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[Assistant] It is always sunny in, oh boy. Here we go, we got 2317s, we got a hundo for five. It's time to punish this man!


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[Assistant] Uh, it is always sunny, apparently it's sunny east to west and whoever designed AT&T Stadium


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[Assistant] Did not take that into account. I bet you if you go to ATT Stadium right now, there's people putting up tents on those windows right now. Just, uh, let's turn. I can't believe we lost a playoff game because of the tent in my own stadium. What Jerry's gonna do is he's gonna summon a bunch of birds. They're gonna, it's like super glue and they're gonna be stuck on the wall and they all just like


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[Assistant] This weekend, anything, did you guys, was there anything good on TV? I didn't, I mean, I wasn't really paying attention to.


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[Assistant] Was there anything else on TV? Scooter? Was there anything on TV? Would you watch Scoots? Uhm, what I saw was disgraceful.


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[Assistant] Was an embarrassment, not only to the national football league, not only to every American citizen in the world.


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[Assistant] This, this was just terrible. This might have been...


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[Assistant] The worst game I have ever watched in my lifetime because there was hope. Do you understand what I'm saying?


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[Assistant] Blow us out! Don't give me this false hope that we're gonna, oh we're gonna come back! Oh McCarthy's a genius!


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[Assistant] For calling, uh, QB Draw, Kellen Moore, the offensive genius!


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[Assistant] That, that leads us, well before we get to the main question of the show,


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[Assistant] Uh, Brandon, can I get that disclaimer? Oh my gosh, people, y'all need to stop. The heck y'all doing?


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[Assistant] Got me talking like Scooter here. Yes, right there. I am gonna take this additional Super Chat money and run it on over to DraftKings.com. The best.


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[Assistant] Sportsbook in the world, official partner of the NFL, official betting partner of the NFL. It's available to you. Oh my gosh. If you use the code, can I see it? Can I see it down here?


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[Assistant] If you use the code CLICKBAIT at DraftKings.com they'll match your first deposit


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[Assistant] You bet a dollar, you can win like 250. Got all these crazy promotions going on, so pay attention to that scooter. You gotta, you gotta cheer up during the promo at least. At least, come on, smile a little bit for us. Are you betting any games this weekend?


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[Assistant] Whatever, because you guys talk all your crap, and then suddenly you play victim complex, like the refs were the responsible, even though you had 14 penalties for 89 yards. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I wanna cover that first. Alright, alright, alright. Are we talking about the game, or did you guys wanna start there?


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[Assistant] I'll be last. Who's to blame for the Cowboys' loss? Chat, join in. Since you wanna, you wanna talk, join in chat. Who's to blame? Who's to blame for the Cowboys' loss?


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[Assistant] Uh, I'm going to actually blame a member of the other team. I'm gonna blame Jimmy Garoppolo.


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[Assistant] We're keeping the game close. This game should have been over. It was over, okay. They were up 23 to 7.


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[Assistant] And the Cowboys could not move the ball at all. And then Jimmy G misses Brandon Iuke with an open, like, like shades of Tom Brady in the Super Bowl missing, uhm, Wes Welker.


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[Assistant] And then he gifts y'all an interception. I swore I was ready to roast Kyle Shanahan into the sun.


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[Assistant] I think we all want to do. Yes, Jimmy G was trying his best to let y'all back in the game. That game should have been over a long time before. Y'all should have been, y'all should, there shouldn't have been any sun to just, to cause that special teams gap because the sun had already set.


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[Assistant] That's the guy I'm blaming. Mike McCartrey, or McCarthy, I should say. His team was so poorly disciplined and poorly coached throughout most of the year. They had the most penalties out of any team in the NFL.


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[Assistant] Fourteen penalties for 89 yards. Most of them were pre snap. You fake a punt and then you realize that, Oh wait, what are we doing? They were allowed to sub out their players and then they suddenly run out and force a delay of game penalty back to back false starts. You had defensive holding on the defensive lineman on multiple occurrences. You went holding on big plays and you're going to blame the refs for this shit.


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[Assistant] You had Micah Parsons, who I love by the way. You should trade him with the Steelers for a seventh round pick. You had Trayvon Diggs, who can't cover worth a damn. Yet, he's in the first-team All-Pro because he makes fans. Like that is what...


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[Assistant] A lot of people were saying that the 49ers had a chance. I mean, I kind of didn't believe them. I was hoping they would, but this is, uhm.


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[Assistant] Yeah, I mean it was the sexy pick. Only road win out of all the, out of all the playoff matchups. Only team, road team to win. Tom, can't buy the NFC's forever buddy. Who do you blame?


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[Assistant] We literally had the second hardest strength of schedule. Continue.


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[Assistant] I have a few more facts to discuss about the Dallas Cowboys. Playoff wins in the last 25 years. The Dallas Cowboys have three. The Jacksonville Jags have three. They beat Pittsburgh twice and Buffalo.


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[Assistant] Shut the heck up. The Packers, I will be right there, Tom, calling your phone.


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[Assistant] The second the game is over and the Packers lose, and I want to be on the live stream too. Over 6,000 fans. The second the Packers lose, I'm calling.


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[Assistant] I'm, I'm so serious. I might not watch any more football this season. I'm so mad. Bro! This man is garbage! 14 penalties? And then Kellen Moore! Oh! You're the wonder boy! The offensive guru! What are you doing, bro?! Oh my. To be fair, he just


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[Assistant] He'll be gone in the offseason. What's wrong with players? You can't get CD the ball?


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[Assistant] So, Kellen Moore, figure it out! I figured it out, and I'm a fan watching on the couch. How can you not see these things that I'm seeing, that everyone else is seeing?


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[Assistant] Right? Alright, dunk on me. Okay. At least you didn't make any bets. As I said, it was. It's just like, bro, come on. Bro, come on. We are one of the most talented teams in the league.


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[Assistant] But maybe, maybe we, maybe we're not! Maybe we're not!


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[Assistant] What next? Can we move on to the next up? Cause my goodness. My goodness.


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[Assistant] Here's the thing. I just, I wanna, I wanna close the cow, I wanna, uh, put the last shovel of dirt on the Cowboys. This was y'all's year. This was your window. Like, window was open. Most talented Cowboys team I've ever seen. I've, I honestly, I thought you were gonna go far. Connor Williams, if you are watching this for whatever reason, what are you doing, bruh? What the heck are you doing, bruh?


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[Assistant] WHY?! WHY?! EVERY GAME?! WHY ARE YOU HOLDING EVERY GAME?!


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[Assistant] And paramount moments, bro! Paramount moments!


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[Assistant] The football sphere, and I think the one thing though, it's true, the cowboys are talented, but some of that talent is the details, the little things are masked by the talent, right?


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[Assistant] Trayvon Diggs masked his talent by having excellent hand. There were some routes that, um, Samuel ran that completely turned that man around. Okay?


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[Assistant] Trayvon Diggs looked lost out there several times on the field. So I, I, I think you're going to have some trouble next year getting under the cap. It's, it's going to be a tough road to hope this was your opportunity and you blew it!


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[Assistant] I have not watched anythin


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[Assistant] I mean, see, but right back here next year, another clickbait sports. We'll see right back next year. Same thing, guys. Honestly think you should extend McCarthy because actually, you know what? Mike McCarthy sure. George Costanza his way into a multi. Just keep showing up.


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[Assistant] Yeah, pretty much. He just gets stands us his way in the nook and noob deals. Tree, did you watch the game? Yeah, I watched it. I watched every minute of it. Uh, Perna, did you watch the game? Oh yeah.


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[Assistant] Okay, the worst part, let me tell you the worst part. The worst part of this game was that fumble.


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[Assistant] It was an incomplete pass, but in real time, it looked like a fumble.


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[Assistant] Tell me why I almost lost my natural mind. My neighbors heard me screaming. My neighbors are 49ers fans, by the way. I'm down bad. Only, only come to find out, wasn't even a catch. Nice.


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[Assistant] Nice! Alright, speaking of losers, tree.


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[Assistant] I seem to recall a certain person on this show saying that Big Ben would be going out


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[Assistant] Five yard ducks in garbage time. Which makes him far better than Dan Marino because that's how Ben should go out. Throwing useless touchdowns and like taking seven minutes off a clock down by 28 in garbage time. That is the Stealer way, baby.


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[Assistant] Yeah, let's just not forget that the Steelers got bent over. They got, they, dude, they nearly, I thought they were gonna pull it off in the second quarter, like, oh my God, they're gonna BS their way to another win.


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[Assistant] Like, he, his body's crying, uncle. Deontay Johnson's talking all this smack about how, oh, if you wanna, if you're trying to get back on, like, if we win, don't...


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[Assistant] Try to get back on the bandwagon. He has like three crucial drops. It's like, dude, you gotta back it up if you're gonna talk that smack.


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[Assistant] And the problem is we're in the worst case scenario right now because we have no contingency plan for life after Ben.


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[Assistant] What's gonna happen is like Joe Hayden's gone. Uh, Juju might be gone. James Washington might be gone. Uh, Terrell Edmonds, I want him gone. I don't like him. I think his play recognition is garbage. But, uh, it's like a situation where, okay, making the playoffs, like what did it accomplish?


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[Assistant] I mean, I'm not gonna get angry and yell in the frame because like, I've done that the last couple years. This thing sucked.


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[Assistant] They were a bad football team. No, you're not going to get angry and yell and scream because this was expected for you. Exactly. And nobody, y'all were supposed to win. I'm still surprised the Steelers were in the playoffs. As I said, Scooter, this was like, you were in my situation last year. You know, the Steelers won 11-0. You had that big hype and then you just implode and then fall 28 to nothing. Like that's pretty much what the Cowboys lost was to me. Although that might be more the Cardinals, but still it's,


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[Assistant] Yeah, uhm, but listen, nobody cares about your pain. Of course, nobody does. I mean, you, you, you wave that little towel. Yeah, we're gonna wave that towel. We're gonna buy tickets to the Super Bowl off SeatGeek. Code word treat, save $20 off your first purchase. The difference between you and Scooter was Scooter actually had hope.


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[Assistant] You were doing it, ironically. We've been having false hopes since week three. That's pretty much what the Steelers season is. You were doing it as shtick. Scooter actually drank his own Kool-Aid.


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[Assistant] You believed in Ben Roethl. Listen, let's recap some other games. The Bengals ended a 31 year playoff drought, handing the mantle over to the Detroit Lions. Let's go Bengals, man. That's my pick now. Cowboys can't do it. Let's get a first timer in there. I like the Bengals.


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[Assistant] Uh, the Buccaneers actually, actually crushed the Eagles. I laid action on, I actually, I hit on all three of my bets this weekend. And Brandon, if you were gonna bet this upcoming weekend, where would you do that? Chuck E. Cheese. Chuck E. Cheese takes bets now?


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[Assistant] I was getting to that. The Rams dismantled the Cardinals. The Cardinals showed up to the playoffs drunk at 2 a.m. Just like, yo, where's the party? And they got knocked out. They Corvette Corvetted all over that field. They were not capable. Kyler Murray?


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[Assistant] Going down? Tosses up the easiest pick six I have ever seen in my life. Shortest, man. Shortest in first season history. I, like, I've watched that over and over again. I was like, that is a very athletic way of ruining your team. That is, that is something that Carson Wentz would cringe at. You know what? I think he should have done.


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[Assistant] As a Giants fan, I thought, I think they should have run a sneak there.


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[Assistant] That would have been the more intelligent play. Now, the Bills absolutely crush the-


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[Assistant] That's actually Ryan Fitzpatrick looking, uh, not in football shape right there. He's in birthday cake shape, baby. Yes, he is. He's embracing the dad bod.


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[Assistant] Yeaah. He was at the Bills game. He was at the Bills game just chillin' with Bills mafia. He wasn't even in the suites, like he was just down lower level.


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[Assistant] A little bit. I don't know if Mac Jones has a brother that can dance though, so I'm going to have to compare them by their TikToking brothers. Show us Mac Jones brother. If his brother is Casper the friendly ghost, he's automatically better than Jackson.


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[Assistant] Tom, don't you have a brother that's like a TikTok star? I do. So automatically you are better than Patrick Mahomes as a quarterback. I did. Just by proxy.


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[Assistant] I think the Cowboys, honestly, I think they could get past this weekend. Like, they should still, they could beat whoever they were supposed to play, but that's just not how it happened.


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[Assistant] Bro, I was gonna go to the Buccaneers game too, it's right over there!


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[Assistant] They ruined your life. They ruined your life. Alright.


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[Assistant] Do y'all forget that the Bills were in the AFC Championship game like last year? Against the Chiefs? Yea, against the Chiefs. I think the real thing is if they stay committed to Josh Allen doing things with his feet,


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[Assistant] Like, they're gonna have to sacrifice, like, there's no tomorrow for this team, and that's the commitment that they're gonna have to throw in there, and that's what's gonna get them past it.


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[Assistant] Absolutely, absolutely. Uhm.


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[Assistant] It's not that I'm rooting for the Bengals. I'm rooting for a team that has not won a Super Bowl to get there and to win it. Right? As long as the Packers don't win and the Bucs don't win, I don't care who wins.


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[Assistant] What else do we have here? Any injuries? Yeah, you just mentioned Randall Cobb. Which team is the healthiest now?


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[Assistant] Yeah, that's gonna make the disappointment even harder. I hope they do not make it to the Super Bowl. Because we will dunk on you as hard as we're dunking on Scooter right now. I gotta ask you a question, Tom. I will love that as much as I love this stream right now. That's all I'm gonna say. Tom?


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[Assistant] Tom, I gotta ask you this very well question. If the Packers get to the Super Bowl and don't win it, will that, will the season be a success?


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[Assistant] Diebold Samuel, bro, this man is built differently and he's the only reason why they won that game in the first place.


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[Assistant] They're gonna lose though, the next round. Because they're injured. Jimmy G's injured. Everyone's injured. Nick Bosa's injured.


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[Assistant] Yeah, well, he was trying to make a metaphor for Willie Gay.


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[Assistant] Uhm, alright, let's get to some laundry items here. Oh wait, actually I wanted to say who was sus. Uh, before, and Tom didn't get to say or neither tree. Uhm.


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[Assistant] It sucked. I think it was the, it was Willie Gay that derailed my thoughts. Uh, I think the Buccaneers are the most sus. Their secondary is banged up.


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[Assistant] I came if old Texas Matt Stafford becomes


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[Assistant] Pat Stadford or whatever his name is. Pat Stadford. Yes. He better get his stuff together. But if he plays like he should...


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[Assistant] Maybe Tom Brady is sent one day closer to retirement. Do y'all think he retires if he loses this game?


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[Assistant] The only way that he retires is if he wins the Super Bowl and he's like, alright, I have nothing, literally nothing left to do, but Tom Brady is such a sociopath when it comes to the NFL. Like he is literally, will sacrifice everything for his, or the trophy, but he'll come back until he's 50.


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[Assistant] At this point, he's doing it because he loves it. It's not cause he needs the money. It's not for any other reason than if he were to retire, he would just be bored.


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[Assistant] Right? And I think that's a lot of people, uh, not in sports, but just in a lot of different businesses in general. They do it because they would just be bored. When you could retire and spend the rest of your days with Giselle Bündchen and you're just bored. My gosh. My gosh.


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[Assistant] Uh, Tom or Tree, any SUS teams for you before we get into our laundry items? I was going to say the Bucks too, so you took words right out of my mouth. Too many injuries.


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[Assistant] Alright, laundry list items here. This picture has been circulating.


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[Assistant] The, uhm, the internets, hold on, let me find it. The interwebs. The interwebs. Oh, yes.


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[Assistant] Uh, Kyle Shanahan, Matt LaFleur, Sean McVay, all, what they leave out of this graphic though is that Mike Shanahan was the coach at the time. Yeah, I'm right. And these were his, basically his kids. They're like 22 in this picture. Like, it's, I think it's more coincidence than Washington ineptness.


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[Assistant] Uh, Mike Shannon obviously knows who to hire. Look how young McVeigh looks. He looks so young. Yeah, like he's just like, his voice hasn't even cracked into what it is now. You know, at this point.


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[Assistant] Alright, uh, the other thing is, alright, who are our teams gonna hire?


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[Assistant] Oh yeaah. There's a swath of Cowboys fans who are right now pushing to make this man over McCarthy. Head coach.


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[Assistant] I don't know if I'm one of those. I don't know if I want anyone on the current coaching staff right now out of what I just saw that last game.


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[Assistant] Uh, does a Cowboys fan memory not go past five years or six years? Did y'all not see what happened in Super Bowl? I saw he was in the Super Bowl. Okay.


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[Assistant] Mike McCarthy didn't win a Super Bowl. The Packers won in spite of McCarthy. That's what happened.


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[Assistant] They were fighting against themselves with this man as head coach, and they were still able to get a win somehow. That's how good Aaron Rodgers had to play! He had to deal with McCarthy, and still win!


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[Assistant] Did anyone ever get slimed in that game? No one ever got slimed, right? Because the, the home team lost. No, Kyle Youth Check got slimed. Oh, Youth Check got slimed? I didn't know that. I don't have any clips of that.


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[Assistant] McCarthy ain't do nothing but have Aaron Rodgers. That's all he did, was have Aaron Rodgers. I could have won a Super Bowl with Aaron Rodgers as my QB. Hey, go do your thing Aaron.


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[Assistant] Baker Mayfield had surgery on his torn lab- uh, labrum. Uh, I think it's his left one. Six months, right? Yeaah.


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[Assistant] And if Baker Mayfield's on IR, I think the Browns have a chance to still make the playoffs. But he has, like, he has the things that you love for a quarterback, like someone that's willing to take that.


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[Assistant] To, to not shy away from the moment, but he also has the things that you hate about a quarterback, like the hero complex, the things that end careers early, something that plagued Robert Griffin, you know, that cost him basically. That's the kind of, I mean, he played on it so long, it might have messed up the healing process, like a certain Cam Newton.


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[Assistant] Yeah, he does love him some Oklahoma boys. He wanted a draft Johnny Manziel.


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[Assistant] His own son had to tell him not to take him.


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[Assistant] But Bruiser essentially was coming in and he looks like he clumsily slaps his own player. It seems like he's just trying to get him away from taking a taunting penalty. That's it. He's like, Hey, come on, be smarter and slots him on the head.


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[Assistant] Interesting, I would be so interested to see if this were a college coach, the response. If it were a college coach, slapping the head of a...


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[Assistant] Alright, let's go around. Oh my gosh, that hit was bad.


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[Assistant] Let's go around, uh, Brandon, Titan's Bengals, who's winning.


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[Assistant] Oh, wow. See, that's not even a smack. That was just, here, let me check your, like, like, he was like, he was trying to grab him by the shoulder. Yeah, well, what happened was he's just trying to say like, hey, stop it. That's pretty much what it was. If someone does that to your child, what are you doing? They're in high school. What are you doing? He's wearing a helmet.


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[Assistant] Mike McCartrey, Bengals Titans, who you got? I got Titans because I feel like the Bengals interior line is too wrecked and uh, they do have Derrick Henry coming back. Plus a few other guys if I'm not mistaken.


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[Assistant] He remembered. Uh, Scooter. We're going bangles, baby. Dark horse candidates!


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[Assistant] I like it. If the Cowboys can lose to the 49ers, the Bengals can beat the Titans. That's all I'm saying. I like it. You're wrong, but I like it.


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[Assistant] Uh, I'm going with the titans, uh, 49ers, oh wait wait, let's save that for last. Uh, Rams, Bucks, Brandon. Quickly.


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[Assistant] Uh, Mike McCart, I'm horrified of your internet history, Brandon. Uh, Tree.


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[Assistant] Man, let's go Rams, please bro, please.


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[Assistant] Yeah, I've got the bucks too. Brady hits up his doctor for some, um, medicine.


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[Assistant] And uh, they do well. I think Pat Sadford comes back. They do things to frustrate him. Alright, Bill's Chiefs, Brandon. Oh.


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[Assistant] I got the Chiefs in this one. My main thing is I like the Bills defense. They do not have to Davies white. So how do you stop Tyree kill? How do you stop Travis Kelsey?


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[Assistant] And the problem is with B Josh Allen, you stop that to one dimensional from th the problem is like they running back and I don't yet. I like Devin singl of a pass catching option they need for early on. S


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[Assistant] Tom, did you get enough rest last night? I'm a little concerned with you, uh. It's a little too much of that glug glug hangover. Yeah, a little yawning during the show. I mean, if you're gonna show up to the show, wouldn't you wanna actually participate?


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[Assistant] The Bills will go as Josh Allen goes. And I think Josh Allen is going to have a great game. I think the Bills win this one over the Chiefs. Let's go Bobolo!


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[Assistant] And I think they're gonna sell out. They're gonna bring out all, all the trip plays. There is nothing. They're gonna sell out.


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[Assistant] Bootleg, naked bootlegs, only Josh Allen. There's going to be some trickery. Draws. Yes.


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[Assistant] I think this is a no tomorrow game. Agreed. I think that the Bills, I just don't see the Chiefs going to three straight Super Bowls. That's not a thing in this time. Yeah, but I'm just saying I think the Bills take care of it early. And that is a dream. It's a dream matchup for the Bills to take on the Titans.


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[Assistant] That was the ni- that was before the salary cap. Y'all were putting together the super team. Y'all fleeced the- Y'all wanna go back to the commercial walker? No, no, no, no, no, no. Nah, we're- we're good.


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[Assistant] Final game, 49ers, Packers, I think this one's easy to call, but Brandon.


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[Assistant] Well, personally, I would, I mean, I hope the Packers lose so we can rub it in this guy's face right here. Tom Grassi.


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[Assistant] But, I got the Packers in this one, right? Draft Kings, Cloak, Clickbait, I will be putting my money on the Packers for this one. That was the easiest one. Uh, hopefully not though! Hopefully 49ers can shock us, like they shocked me!


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[Assistant] The Packers are going to eat.


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[Assistant] Like, uh, they're at a Sunday buffet. It is going to be ugly early, just like how that was my strategy at the nightclub. Just go ugly early. That's what this game is going to be. Tom, give your prediction. I wonder who it's going to be.


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[Assistant] Yes. They don't have takeaways. You have to take them all away.


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[Assistant] Alright, we have made it to the end of the show where we add up the super chats. I have the sneaking suspicion that I am in trouble. Uh, Brandon, uh, take a break from your appearance on This Is Us as the dad and run the movie, please.


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[Assistant] We have another 30 seconds to wait because once again, they still have the last second stuff popping up. Brandon, how much did you get? Let's get this over with.


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[Assistant] I'm a 250-233, so you know what? I enjoy that. It's always good not to get humiliated.


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[Assistant] Where'd you make him? Oh no, he's still smug. He's like half smug, half depressed.


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[Assistant] Like he has to watch the game? Again? Maybe. That is unfair. That is unfair. Alright. Alright. We'll stop that.


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[Assistant] Though I, though I kind of would love to watch it. I would just pop in every once in a while and just be like, wow. Come on, let's think of, let's think of a punishment for scooter. Didn't even do the scooter. How about a ride on how good of a coach Mike McCarthy is?


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[Assistant] You're gonna have to give us- Bro, y'all are weird, bro. Why do y'all want me to write reports for y'all?


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[Assistant] No, actually it needs to erupt in 14 seconds and you gotta clean it up, but you have to, um. Jerry Jones has a book.


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[Assistant] Wear a Debo jersey for the rest of the bars. We've done that one before. I said three page essay on why Mike McCarthy's a good haircut.


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[Assistant] Yes, in a, in a cowboy's jersey, you have to pretend that they actually won the game and you're in the slime zone. How to make Nickelodeon slime.


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[Assistant] Fair enough. This is going to be pre-recorded and I'll send you the slime video.


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[Assistant] There's too many expensive stuff in this room. Are we all agreeing here? Yeah. High five. Slime. Slime time. We recorded, I just wish that he would do the video, the whole show, slime, but I'll take a video. I'll take a video outside, you know, cameraman, just, and you have to say, I don't know.


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[Assistant] Right. You have to say, you have to be asked, is Mike McCarthy a good coach? And you have to say, I don't know. And then you get slimed.


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[Assistant] Scooter gets spanked 14 times. What was Mike, what was Dak Prescott doing on that last play? I don't know.


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[Assistant] I got, uh, the last NFL predictions I'm ever doing, ever coming out. I'm so serious. I'm not making that serious. I'm not making anymore. I don't care. Tree, what you got?


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[Assistant] Is it the greatest game? Yes. Why? It's a playoff game. Uhm, Brandon, what you got going on?


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[Assistant] And, uh, I'm working, my next project is a little video on why the jets are so bad. Because they are bad. Alright, I think we can end the show, right?


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[Assistant] Purple and black, baby. These are terrible to type in, they're near impossible, but...


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[Assistant] I did get the punishment. These are a few months in the making. I was just waiting for the right time to do them.


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[Assistant] They're going to the Super Bowl. We beat this team earlier today as my nail is falling off on me right now because this thing is, uh, this glue is terrible. But I wanted to say that the Steelers are going to the Super Bowl. Do not deny it. They will be playing tonight against the Minnesota Vikings who did lose to the Detroit Lions, by the way. Absolutely fantastic stuff. And I do want to say one thing, uh, five, your team fuck, your team sucks.


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[Assistant] We're over 500. The AFC is garbage this year. It is terrible. Baltimore is a Justin Tucker kick of God and a Lamar comeback from the heavens away from being six and six. They're not that good. They're injured.


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[Assistant] And that two-point immersion, they did get really lucky on. You could say that, oh, the offense is terrible. Now you can't do anything because there's no line. The defense says, uh, injured, they're buoyed by elite talent that if somebody blocks CJ Watt and Cam Hayward, they're done. But I, I'm going to say one thing as a counter argument. Screw you. Still, let's get into Superbowl.


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[Assistant] Dark Owl Super Bowl, and I cannot wave this with these dang nails.


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[Assistant] The Vikings should be a lot better than what they are, but you have to consider Mike Zimmer is in charge of that offense. So that holds them back. They lost to Detroit. Lost to Detroit. Come on, man.


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[Assistant] We, uh, cheer for our own demise, we root for the devil, also known as UPMC, and we bitch about bike lanes. That's what we go about with Steelfoot.


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[Assistant] At the Allegheny Health Network, we will give you endless, uh, toredo to help you deal with your injuries in every conceivable hash.


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[Assistant] So I could technically do it as like a glorified ego stroke of 500k.


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[Assistant] it might be the time to g about it. This might be k of an era. Russell Wilson because he doesn't have t anymore. He's been injur year. I think he's still


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[Assistant] Cause he just hasn't been the same since he's come back. I think Carol might retire or go back to USC or under Lincoln Riley. I think some of the


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[Assistant] Places he's thinking aren't going to work. New Orleans doesn't have the cab.


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[Assistant] The Giants could probably work if they get the cap, but they're gonna have to offload some salary.


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[Assistant] Uhm, Bradley Chubb, I think, is coming up in like first fifth year option at least, if I remember correctly.


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[Assistant] Yeah, so you'd probably, you have to choose between Bradley Chubb or Russell Wilson.


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[Assistant] Well, you won't have big chubs anymore. You just have a little Russell Wilson and his hot wife, uh, see ya.


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[Assistant] torn like chest muscle or has hip issues like his b on him and like that com


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[Assistant] They're second to you, man. They want a Kadarius Tony, which...


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[Assistant] Right. I mean, you can thank uh, Mr. Five Points Team for that not happening.


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[Assistant] here's what I'm thinking. But the football team be if we're going by that lo going to lose and we're al But that's probably not ha


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[Assistant] No, actually he's e-stuffing, uh, something else with something else.


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[Assistant] This is a punishment by the way. I had this like line for a couple months, so that's why I have to wear these.


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[Assistant] I would go probably. Stealers. Cardinals or Buccaneers. Those would be my two right now, but things can change pretty quickly.


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[Assistant] And I know how this goes, Tom. That's why you're gonna be wearing the maid outfit when you're cleaning up all the puke that happens at Lambeau Field again. Because Kevin King cannot cover for crap.


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[Assistant] I know how this goes beca year. That was beautiful


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[Assistant] Well that was before everything came to BS. This league is so bonkers that a team is boring and as bad as the Pittsburgh Steelers can make the Super Bowl. You know this man.


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[Assistant] You know what they will say and you're gonna see it tonight against the Minnesota Vikings.


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[Assistant] If we're gonna lose to anybody, it's gonna be to New England. Let's get it right.


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[Assistant] I would say it's Alabama versus Georgia because we cannot have nice things and then Georgia chokes again to Alabama, thus continuing the cycle of insanity that is Georgia football.


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[Assistant] The other one, Troy Polamalu. That man was a gift, especially playing as a, like just his raw athleticism, his ability to read and blitz off the side. That man was a generational talent and I miss him, especially as like a stealer and as a man too, like he's a great human being as well. So those would be my two picks.


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[Assistant] Yeaah. I just gotta go out in the cold for like 20 minutes. They'll be purple.


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[Assistant] Well, apparently I am streaming tonight, and I'm also working on a vid on the Tampa Bay Rays. So, I'm hoping to have that out this weekend. Sexy.


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[Assistant] Nailed it. Nailed it. Welcome to another edition of Clickbait Sports. It is Thursday, 12, 2021. No Thursday Night Football tonight, unfortunately. But what we do have is Scooters punishment.


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[Assistant] Of football, by the way, John Madden, a legacy that he left. So we're going to go through the top 10 legends of the NFL. But before we get to that.


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[Assistant] We're gonna do Scooter's punishment. Scooter said he was running late or so, I don't know. Tom, can you come on in and do this punishment for Scooter?


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[Assistant] Oh, he just messaged me? He said he's not gonna be able to make it.


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[Assistant] Yeah, he didn't show up. Like, he said he was running late, but he just messaged me, said he's traveling and he's not gonna make it.


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[Assistant] For the phone call. That is, that is not appropriate here.


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[Assistant] Speaking of taking shots, if you have money to gamble, get your booster shot, get your booster shot, but also you want to go to the best sports book out there. If it's legal in your state, we should have scooters dad read the promo code. Yes.


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[Assistant] Uhm, which is DraftKings.com. Right now, if you use the code, where is it? Where is it? Clickbait?


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[Assistant] Tom, do you keep your picks in that portfolio there?


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[Assistant] Let's all give him credit right there. I could imagine that many parents have gotten that call and then immediately called you a communist afterwards.


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[Assistant] Alright, we do have a topic here with the passing of John Madden, a legend of the game. It started us thinking like, who are the greatest names in the sport of football? Who had the lasting effect?


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[Assistant] Madden did so many things as a player, as a coach, well not as a player, he wasn't a great player, but as a coach, as an announcer, as the pioneer of the greatest


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[Assistant] Not greatest. Of the longest standing video game in the history of, uh, the NFL. So that got us thinking, we have a list of 10. And since these names, I went back in all of time, since these names are so obscure, I'm gonna show the players.


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[Assistant] Or, or the, the, these influential people and you're just gonna have to guess to figure out who the hell they are. Got it. If you guys aren't older. Y'all need to remember the ice bowl because Cameron's dad must be 80 or something. I don't even remember the ice bowl. Dang son.


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[Assistant] Alright, number ten. Clocking into number ten and chat, in honor of Scooter, chat. If you know, if you know the name, type it in.


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[Assistant] Okay, cause, but y'all are all millennials, y'all don't freakin' know. Alright, number ten. Who is this guy?


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[Assistant] Yes, it is Daniel Rutiger. It's Newt Rockne! How dumb are you guys? That is Newt Rockne! Nobody cares about Newt or


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[Assistant] Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, tree gets it. Number nine, Lamar Hunt, one of the co-founders of the AFL helped instrument, put a lot of pressure on the NFL to merge owner, longtime owner of the Kansas city chefs.


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[Assistant] He was a commissioner for what, like 30 years? Yes. He oversaw...


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[Assistant] Uh, a lot of the activity in.


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[Assistant] Uhm, the merger between the AFL and the NFL mostly because he was pressured into it but came up with the Super Bowl and all those things and was willing to adapt when the AFL put pressure on them.


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[Assistant] Now this one, this next one is actually in color, so you guys might have a chance of getting it. With color. Number seven on the list.


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[Assistant] Mike Ditka. It's Paul Brown, right? Ditka. Yes, it's Paul Brown! Tree with two correct answers.


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[Assistant] Doesn't even have his name on the Browns because he was forced to sell the team and then started the Bengals out of spite.


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[Assistant] That's kind of amazing. Yes, I'm doing a whole video on that. That's kind of incredible. Yes. Because he was pissed off at his old team. Now this one maybe a lot harder to get.


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[Assistant] Do you see the little Hitler stash that's going on above his lip?


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[Assistant] This next one is easy. Uh, Curly Lambo, Instrumental, you know, the Packers and all that.


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[Assistant] That is, uh, Mario or is that Luigi? I don't know. Without the mustache. One of the two. It's a plumber.


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[Assistant] Alright, that's an easy one. Number four, Vince Lumpardi. Obviously his name is on the trophy that they give away. He won the first two Super Bowls. He is a legend of the game. Also coach for the Washington Reeskins.


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[Assistant] Something like that. I don't know. I don't remember. Number three! I don't even know who this is.


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[Assistant] That is, yeaah, that's, it looks like an elf.


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[Assistant] I think that's Joe Buck's grandfather, Chip Buck. What?


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[Assistant] How many do you have so far, Tom, that are correct? That's three now. Three. Wow.


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[Assistant] He had, he brought, he introduced the Turducken to all of us.


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[Assistant] Which is the only piece of food that I would consider having sex with. And uhm.


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[Assistant] Yeah, and then he also made us throw many controllers when playing Madden and then maybe getting into a fist fight with our roommate over it.


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[Assistant] Yes, that was great. Now the number one, I'm gonna give you guys lots of time.


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[Assistant] To try to figure this out because this is truly the most influential person in the history of football that nobody knows. Nobody. Well you probably mentioned.


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[Assistant] Here is your number one most influential legend of football. Do you really want me to guess?


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[Assistant] Oh, I know who that is, that's Major Dad. I actually know who that is. You know who that is? That's Walter Camp.


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[Assistant] He is the father of football. He invented the modern, um, rule book, you know, with the passing and the, and the lines and the four downs and all that stuff. Before foot, before Walter Camp, football looked kinda like soccer.


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[Assistant] It was like they kicked the ball down. They had a defined set of like they tried to kick it. It was like a combination between rugby and soccer. And then Walter Camp came in and kind of took what the Canadians were doing with football slash rugby and then tweaked it to the American game. And that is why we have


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[Assistant] Aaron Rodgers putting his foot in front of a camera on the Pat McAfee show. Thank you, Walter. Thank you, Walter Camp. Well, there you go. The teacher, Tom Grassi, wins this competition right here. Thank you. Cool.


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[Assistant] Yeah, there was no Tom Landry. I forgot about Tom Landry, but you know what? I made the list, so I had to include- Tom Landry, overrated. Overrated coach. Just gonna say it.


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[Assistant] Now you will get a call from Scooter's dad as well. Oh, he was really mean to the Packers, huh? Yeah, yeah, he just went in on you. That was deserved.


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[Assistant] Speaking of all the money that you made as a teacher, Tom, what would you do if you had extra money if you were a teacher?


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[Assistant] Clickbait. Alright, before we get into our laundry list in the rundown, we have another punishment from someone who actually showed up to the show, didn't claim and lie and said he's traveling or whatever. Perfect.


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[Assistant] Alright, let's bring it up.


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[Assistant] Right, that the white leather couch isn't covered in plastic. That is the most shocking thing about this photograph.


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[Assistant] Is that uh, Drew Rosenhouse when he was a kid?


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[Assistant] I think, no, that's the dad from This Is Us when he was a kid.


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[Assistant] How dare you. Look at that. Look at the skills it takes.


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[Assistant] Why is his arm so short? Cause he has degenerative disease.


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[Assistant] He has progerianism. He looks, hold on, bring it back. You look like you're 50 in this picture. Like what is going on? 50? You ever see a kid?


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[Assistant] Do you ever see a 10 year old that looks like he's 40 and you're just like, oh man, like you're already old. Like, how did it?


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[Assistant] Lamar Jackson, is he gonna play this weekend and does it even matter?


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[Assistant] I don't think that they are screwed either way, I don't think that even if Lamarr plays he's gonna be like 80% Hunt, isn't he, isn't the Huntly guy or whatever Huntly, isn't he in protocol?


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[Assistant] Please, please bring us, send us to the Super Bowl. Nike sent Drew Morris one year.


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[Assistant] And they also sent, uh, Head and Shoulders sent Tom Grosse one year, but, uh.


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[Assistant] Speaking, speaking of Big Ben's, uh, the mentioning Big Ben, apparently he came out and said that this is his last home game.


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[Assistant] Boo. Uhm, what was I gonna say?


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[Assistant] Yeah, a history of fleecing the, the, uh, the Broncos. Yeah.


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[Assistant] Oh, uh, Brandon, I did want to ask you, if D- if D-Virgin would have tackled Kirk Cousins, what was your big joke? What was your joke there? If D-Virgin would have somehow tackled Kirk Cousins?


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[Assistant] West Virginia doesn't have a team, come on now.


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[Assistant] A couple things here. Some surprise names have found themselves on the coaches.


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[Assistant] I think this is his second year. Do you think the Panthers move on from someone who turned down the Giants because they didn't give them enough money and now is all of a sudden


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[Assistant] I think the thing with yanking Darnold in and out of the lineup and now they're going back to Darnold and just...


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[Assistant] So what do you get if you stick with a guy and on the third year he wins three games? Like it just makes no sense to me.


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[Assistant] I think Brian Flores successfully got off the hot seat. Oh yeaah.


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[Assistant] His, uh, his work in Miami. Him and Chris Greer. Yep. I think there's a dude.


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[Assistant] Uhm, there's some, there's some, obviously I think the Broncos are probably gonna move on from Fangio, don't you think? Especially if they don't make the playoffs? Is playoffs the only thing that's gonna save Vic Fangio's job?


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[Assistant] Yeah, two F-bombs in one show. Not from me! Not from me!


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[Assistant] You can't blame me for this. Tom, I don't think has ever cussed.


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[Assistant] Carson's strong and that's my mom.


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[Assistant] All right, we've made it to six o'clock. It's time to start adding up the super chats and consider.


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[Assistant] Because we cannot have nice things, but we do have Saturday games again, I believe.


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[Assistant] This is the penultimate week. We got a lot of teams that could be in or out of the playoffs. I just, I think it's such a jumbled mess. We won't know for each idea, but I think that the punishment should be create a dating profile with trees pictures. That's bad.


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[Assistant] Does God come down and intervene on the passes and actually manipulate the ball going right into Tori Holt's hands? Cause that's how it should be.


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[Assistant] Alright, let's add up the supers. Oh wait, wait, countdown time, sorry.


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[Assistant] I got $91.23. Thank you, Craig Craigers Daleski, Jacob Jones, Craig Craigers Daleski again, Raul Montero, who spread the love, Alex Hibara, CK, and Daniel Self. All of you, thank you. Thank you, we got $91. We're gonna spend it all on DraftKings.com. Ain't that the truth.


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[Assistant] For not punishing me this fall.


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[Assistant] Uhm, should we make him watch the Sean Payton movie? Is that on Netflix already? Yes.


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[Assistant] What about the Kurt Warner movie? Is that out yet? It is, but it's in movie theaters. I can't stream it.


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[Assistant] It's in theater? Why are you refusing to go to the theater?


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[Assistant] You will be the only person in the theater. This is two weeks after the release. Okay? That's it. That's the punishment. You have to go to the theater and watch American Underdog, the Kurt Warner story, and just sh- prove that you went. And then give us a summary of the movie and tell us whether it was good or not. Fair enough?


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[Assistant] You went to go see Spider-Man, but you won't go see Kurt Warner.


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[Assistant] What about the Sean Payton movie? When does that drop?


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[Assistant] Okay, we made it to the end of the show. So that's it, Tom. You have to watch the movie and do a video essay or something on it.


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[Assistant] Uh, Brandon, what do you got going on this week? Before we wrap up.


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[Assistant] Rock and rollin'. Nice. I've got a video on NFL rules that should be changed before they become a problem.


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[Assistant] Uh, we made it to the end of the show. Uh, Brandon, go ahead and cut it. Whatever. Where's Scooter? Whatever. What? Hold on. Call Scooter's dad again. What? Call Scooter. Call him up. Call him up.


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[Assistant] Yeah, yeah, I just apologize to the team and staff and, uh, for being a distraction. It's stupid.


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[Assistant] And so I explained everything that happened and honed it and, you know, just stupid, uh, should not have myself in that kind of position.


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[Assistant] If he decides to not stay with the Packers, yes. Why wouldn't he?


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[Assistant] I think his breakup actually does signify that he is coming back to the NFL and indeed rules out retirement based on what I read about certain drama in their relationship.


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[Assistant] I checked all the websites. I went from TMZ to...


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[Assistant] Uh, the dictionary.com to, uh, Fox News to MSNBC News. And they all said Shailene Woodley was just, felt a little neglected.


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[Assistant] So now that the engagement's over to me, that means Aaron Rogers is not willing to not commit to football. So he's probably coming back.


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[Assistant] The longer it goes on, it does seem like it's probably with the Packers, although...


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[Assistant] We got Nathaniel Hackett, we got the weapons to get him, we all know that.


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[Assistant] We all know that, but honestly, at this point,


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[Assistant] Just give, just end it. I just want it to end. I need to stop wondering.


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[Assistant] All the teams who are, you know, over the cap buy a lot of money. And I talked about, I think the Saints a little while ago, but,


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[Assistant] Every other week on GPS we've talked about like, the cap for the Packers is a real issue.


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[Assistant] The Rams, the Saints, all of those teams can get back under. A couple of them can create a lot of space once they do get back under.


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[Assistant] So, I don't think you have to really worry about this, specifically the Rams with restructures to Stafford Ramsey Cup, Floyd Woods and Donald, uh, they'll be fine, and that's bringing back a lot of your core players.


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[Assistant] Cap wise. The Broncos can do pretty much whatever they want in the cap.


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[Assistant] Uh, right now, Pats are tan, but that's because I think this year's quarterback draft is underrated. So I just did a whole podcast about Carson Wentz. I mean, Carson Strong. And, uh, I think the Broncos can get him. So the Broncos have a ton of cap space. We know that.


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[Assistant] Yeah, she said she's alright, uhm, as alright as you can be when you break your spine. But she, like she tweeted before that that she was waiting in line at the, the ER.


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[Assistant] Uhm, that our cameras were broken and fractured cameras spine sounds horrible, but I don't think like, I think it's bad.


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[Assistant] I think you should quit football. Like you should quit playing football at this point.


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[Assistant] Oh, uh, just that Matthew Stafford threw the greatest pass in Super Bowl history. Oh my god, if I see that pass one more time.


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[Assistant] It is so good, I can't stop watching it. Yeah, Patrick, my home's done that at least five times in like a week. Not in a Super Bowl, not in a Super Bowl, not on a game-winning drive. Stafford, better than my homes, everybody knows it.


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[Assistant] Like you can't beat those two guys in a super bowl. Von Miller, two times super bowl champion. I believe through the, uh, he now...


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[Assistant] Tied Charles Haley for most Super Bowl sacks at four and a half through his career. Had the most pressures in the post season. They just got dominated by physically superior, uh, defense and just sheer reaction here. Tree, how does this make you feel?


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[Assistant] And him in my home's not getting along, and how BNME's been an issue for their offense, and that's why... What?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They haven't extended him or that might be another issue in terms of why he hasn't gotten a job.


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[Assistant] Nothing will be better than Lady Gaga.


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[Assistant] Catching a football and jumping off stage. Greatest halftime moment ever. She didn't break her spine either.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, Kid Cudi and Pete Davidson, if you want to trigger. That's the one. Yes. I know what I want now.


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[Assistant] What, what I want then, is I want Weird Al Yankovic.


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[Assistant] Honestly, I think, uh, when the Broncos drafted Jay Cutler, and then I found out like...


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[Assistant] He set the record for bench press for quarterbacks at the time. He had like 23 reps on the bench press. I was like, oh yeah, he's probably going to be really good.


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[Assistant] He'll come and to Denver just to prove me wrong though, my backfire.


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[Assistant] That'd be editing videos for somebody else and being mostly okay with it, but then about every third day.


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[Assistant] I had to get out of my full-time job because I was getting so like bitter about like editing notes that I disagreed with.


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[Assistant] I could play 10 years as the only white corner in the NFL. Really? You could be the next Eric.


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[Assistant] He would be, Tyree Kill would say he, this is the one guy I don't want to ever cover me. Look at the beard.


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[Assistant] He's short, but I can't get open when he's covering me.


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[Assistant] If I played in the NFL, my greatest strength would be saying really weird things to other guys to get in their head.


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[Assistant] I know I wouldn't be the most skilled but I would say some stuff that


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[Assistant] First of all, I'll do what I want with my face. That's an instant veto. Okay, that's not, no. Cause I might be shaving it anyway, how's that a punishment?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Good. Oh, I thought it literally just happened. No. The Vikings need some pass rushers. Cause that's all the AFC West has now. Yeah, they do.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Haha Baker, you cared about your job, idiot.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When you sign up over at the Draft Kings right now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We've got some college basketball happening. DraftKings Sportsbook is giving new customers a shot at royalty with 40 to 1 odds on any college basketball game.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You bet $5 on any college basketball team to win their next game, and if they win, DraftGames will pay you $200 in free bets.


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[Assistant] I bet Baker Mayfield wishes he would have signed his contract extension before this season started. But DraftKings did have control over that. DraftKings was not in control of that legally. I have to say DraftKings does not make player contracts.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I like the hypocrisy. The Browns are like, look Baker, we're going to go and try and get a better quarterback. All right.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They don't land the quarterback and Baker's like, you know what? I want to go get a better team. And they're like, nope.


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[Assistant] Four for Russell Wilson, guys. Four for Russell Will. Well, he's three. Let's get some threes for Russell Wilson.


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[Assistant] Restructures happen all the time where guys don't lose any money. It's just shifted to bonuses.


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[Assistant] What if it's Jared Goff, though?


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[Assistant] Well look at Russell Wilson's contract right now he's gonna make like 24 million this year and when he signed his contract he became the richest player in NFL history you know what I mean like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The quarterback position specifically, the, the, the numbers are big, but as time goes by and the cap goes up every year, the contracts look better and better, but outside of the quarterback position,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Every, all of those other guys have it a lot tougher than good quarterbacks in terms of making that second contract or even getting to that third. So when you have less money for skill positions.


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[Assistant] I thought you retired after the season or did you say like a goodbye kind of on social media.


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[Assistant] Or sex, cause that's what's happening in Denver all day, every day, now that our team is back. Russell Wilson didn't even have to do anything and it would have been better.


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[Assistant] Then the cowboys were like, hey, Randy Gregory, here's some language about if you get suspended, your guarantees go out the window.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And Denver's like, uh, we will not do that to you, Randy. We would never do that to a man with two first names here in Colorado.


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[Assistant] So we snake Randy Gregory away from the cowboys, which was needed.


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[Assistant] Because the AFC West brought in Khalil Mack, uh, to pair with Joey Bosa.


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[Assistant] Then the Raiders bring in Chandler Jones to pair with Max Crosby. So it's, the pass rush here is scary, but we also signed, I think an under the radar signing was DJ Jones from San Francisco for our defensive interior to replace Shelby Harris.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And also Eric Tomlinson, a blocking tight end who we are going to use 100% of the time to block Chandler Jones, Max Crosby, Khalil Mack, and Joey Bosa.


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[Assistant] So I feel good. I feel like the usually I'm trying to ... fake my optimism at this point in the year because ... like hey we got some nice pieces.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They let Deshaun Williams go, but then I think they tendered him today. They signed back Josie Jewell, uh, on a really cheap deal, which was a nice signing. I believe Bryce Callahan, still a free agent. I would like to get him back. They need a corner.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, they grabbed the tackle Compton out of the 49ers. I don't know much about him, but right tackle is still kind of a hole, so.


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[Assistant] What odds for new customers at DraftKings? You can bet on any college beatball game. That's $5. And if that team wins DraftKings will pay you $200 in free bets. That's for the new customers.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you want your march to be mad, uh, do it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, DraftKings has endless ways to get in on the action.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You got same game parlays, uh, future betting. That's what we were just talking about with those thousand yard seasons.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, uh, also, everyone, EVERYONE can enter DraftKings free 1 million dollar March Mania survivor pool.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But you must enter before tip-off on March 19. Each day of games, pick one team that you think will win that day. If the team you choose wins, you survive to pick another team for the next day of games. Remember, you can only choose each team once. Uh, that's how survivor pools work. And choose carefully at your shot for one million dollars in total


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Prizes. Code clickbait. You see it in the corner. There's a link in everyone's description. Just do the clickbait code when you sign up at the kings of the drafts.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cam Heyward apparently struggling to hang something up on the wall.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, it's out, so I think I gotta audible and go to something like this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's more reliable than, uh, the police. Thunder.