[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Where things gradually become something else, but also every single organism has to become what it is anew every generation from a single cell. And it's at that level that evolution actually acts.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, so a few years ago my answer to the could do, uhm, would have been probably a pretty resounding no.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And we do that at a cruder level than genome editing. We actually look at the proteins that are produced by the genes. Having said that, theoretically, today, on this day with infinite funding,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] These little sequences and the sequences that differ are actually very small, generally kind of control sequences that just tell genes when and where to turn on.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you find the right ones and alter them, you can dramatically change the anatomy of the animal. Uhm, as we, not with genome editing, but sort of downstream, as we did a little bit with some of our work.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But if you were to do that and edit all of those regions one by one by one, we have the technology to do this, you could make something that resembled at least something like the common ancestor of alligators and birds, which would look rather like a dinosaur.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This, you know, clade of modern birds that's diversified really did allow them to pass through because it wasn't a sweepstakes thing and people might be thinking, well, they were the ones that happened to survive, you know, it was one lineage, like one species that had then diversified.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] China's very lucky in having the IVPP, you know, that's the other part of it. There has to be an academic, a scholarly culture that encompasses paleontology, right? And paleontology's strength is


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] As you've heard we draw from all these different disciplines, but in a way that means that we don't have a home in any particular one. And so it's been difficult in the past, including in the US, uh, sometimes to, to get departments that might be focused on


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Everything else sort of withers as well. So that's another kind of front of things. But China, actually with the IPPP, is probably the most stable and successful, um, you know, place I know of.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, and it's a little hard sometimes to connect, you know, because we know so little about the behaviors of these animals. Obviously color has a lot to do a bit with, with behavior. And...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's some things that we can expect to be able to know and some things that perhaps we can't, right? And, uh, uh, with color, maybe there's some dead ends in sort of figuring out more about, well, what's the, you know, is that to do with predation? Is that to do with, you know, something to do with sexual selection or something like that?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But it can be, there are ways in which to get to some aspects of organismal behavior through technology and uhm,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The internal scanning of things, like the stuff I think all of us have been doing with CT and Synchrotron, uh, offers that to complement, you know, the external stuff, because


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The thing about bone is that it forms last, right? It's one of the last things to form in an embryo, which means that it forms in interstices, it's connective tissue, and it forms around everything else. So with internal scans, you can find casts, very accurate casts of nerves,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The brain of the ears, the nose, the sensory organs of parts of the viscera of all sorts of things that have direct bearing on the life of the animal, including its behavior, including its physiology. And so those things, you know, I would take the coloration as part of this entire


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] series of, of, of, you know, pools of data that are now available to us. And I think, I think the internal stuff is, is very rich also in particular.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, we had a field site that was on top of this, like, just huge tower of rock that took forever to climb up. And so we were stuck up there as this little area. I mean, I won't mention how we had to deal with some other practical things, but when we uncovered this site that had been derelict for a long time, we found the largest


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Nests of wasps, I've like, ever seen in here. And so, day by day by day, we had this like, war of attrition with these things, where they'd come in, and some of us would like, you know,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I really liked, you know, the first one just showed a lot of care in just about every aspect of the movie. And one of the things that I really liked was that it took, you know, what effectively was our current knowledge of these animals and really


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, applied it well and also the animals for the most part.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Kind of acted like animals. And you could see the care in the way they moved, you know, the way they did things. And, uh, that's something I really liked about the first Jurassic Park.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Why study Rome? Why study Greece? Why study Wars of the Roses? Right? This is, it's history. And it's history writ large. I mean, all of human history is a tiny part of the history of life.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Everything that exists today is a product of a series of random events and contingencies and patterns that's occurred over the long stretch of the existence of the planet. And


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, among organisms on land, dinosaurs are some of the great players, hundreds of millions of years of


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Dominance on the earth, right? And all that happened during that time contributed to the shape of modern biodiversity, right? And also really contributed to our being here, to who we are.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The question of why study these things, why study these, these enormously important creatures is just the question of do we want to know about the true history of the Earth? Do we want to know what happened and, and, and get some actual answers as to why we're here or not? That's it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's very late in embryonic development that birds actually kind of decide to become birds and they follow a remarkably dinosaurian trajectory all the way until near hatching. And so clearly, you know, all those things are still locked in the genome, right? There are fossils in the genome, inside every chicken, every sparrow.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That we could understand and could access if we had the time and we had the means and the understanding. And then, you know, and so for people in those fields to be able to kind of work with, with people who are interested in evolution, I think, which is beginning to happen now is really important. I'm really excited by innovations in the evolution of motion.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's new stuff, right? You can theorize, you can build models, you can look at extant things, but they can be falsified or supported in a moment by something that comes from the rock record that you pull from the earth. So you've got to do that, you've got to support that work, and you've got to train new generations of people not just in the new techniques, which are, you know,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Popular and easy, but in the hard work of


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Describing the anatomy, right, which is a venerable field and sometimes seen as antiquated, which is absolutely wrong, right? And of really understanding the ways in which form and function have evolved.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's a specialized set of, uh, uh, uh, uh, set of areas of knowledge that really needs to be cultivated and really needs to be emphasized. And I think can drop off over and over again as like faddish new techniques pop up and displace kind of the old classical areas of learning.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Welcome to the club.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think it's better they don't leak the songs, you know what I'm saying? I'm an artist so I, I don't like when people leak my shit if I give them it early, but then again sometimes it gets you some clout you might have needed. You know what I'm saying? So for both situations it's a yes, it's depending on how the artist is, you know, dealing with putting their work out at the time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's what I think. But leaking is bad, you know, if someone don't want it. That's def- That's a no-no.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, so in that case, yeah. So for sure, like, you know, if you tell the right person about a song, that's gonna make sure you get your respect for the song and not steal it, you know, or take


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It could go either way because it's bad because if the artist doesn't want it to get leaked, but at the same time it's good for exposure and it helps something like become more relevant.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hard working is a good one. Real and loving.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If I actually went to school and I could actually, you know, go eight years of college, do all that, yeaah. Definitely do it now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That was like a weird date. Like I didn't know I was gonna find out I was pregnant on that date. It was crazy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I stole my mom's car when I was like 16, 17 and I brought it back.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Recline her chair exactly how she had it. Put her radio station on.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That no matter what mood I'm in, I can just look at them and just feel so much happiness and I would have to be that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Instagram Live King, every time he says a thing on Instagram Live, he's viral. It's easy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A1, you got a nice little, uh, I don't know, 10 minutes or so with Dirk in there, you know, just pounding out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just make sure it's dead this time, okay?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Maybe it'd stop moving. Yeah, that was kinda... ...stusting.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Focus on the eggs. We destroy them, we can get out of here.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, is any of this for real? Or not?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, Kyrie's home is out there somewhere, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Huh? What a dream. Ah! This isn't a dream!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Why don't you start making sense? What's going on here?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I wonder if I could find Riku and Kairi.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's one funny face. Okay, why not? I'll go with you guys.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hey guys, we should help her out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Anyway, she's not the one you're looking for. That's nonsense. Have you any proof?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No problem. We'll start by proving ourselves in the games.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How about a rematch sometime? Fair and square, no dark powers involved.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, uh, what is this place?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay. Where did the others go? Look.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Know what? Nevermind. I'm looking for my friends Riku and Kairi.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Not sure I understand, but show me. Take me to Riku and Kairi.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I'm Sora. Tarzan go, Sora go go.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, Tazen? Where are my friends, Riku and Kairi?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sorry about what I said. I'm sorry too. Yeah, all for one!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've been looking for you, and Kairi too, with their help.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Whoa. Okay, so you're coming with us, right? We've got this awesome rocket! Wait till you see it!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No! He can't come! What? Forget it! Oh come on, he's my friend! I don't care!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Nice goin'. Oh well, least he's okay. And who knows, maybe we'll run into Kairi soon too!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Pinocchio, stop fooling around. This is no time for games.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You might not hear it, but right now it's loud and clear. And it's telling me you're on the wrong side!


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[Assistant] Riku, why are you siding with the heartless?


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[Assistant] Yeah, it was definitely Kairi. I finally found her!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I still can't believe it. I really flew. Wait till I tell Kairi. I wonder if she'll believe me. Probably not.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's still no sign of your king. Aren't you worried?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Me too. I'm not gonna give up now. I came here to find someone very important to me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're wrong, Riku. The darkness may destroy my body, but it can't touch my heart. My heart will stay with my friends. It'll never die!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Thanks a lot, Donald Goofy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Although my heart may be weak, it's not alone.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The princess? Kairi's a princess?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A keyblade that unlocks people's hearts. I wonder.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, we can't just stay here. We have to do something. I've got a friend back there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I can't help? You'd kinda be in my way.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, now what do we do? We've gotta find Riku and King Mickey.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know there are many other worlds out there, besides your castle in this town, right?


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[Assistant] He recorded all of his findings in a very detailed report.


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[Assistant] Its pages are scattered everywhere. Too many worlds.


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[Assistant] Jasmine! I'm so sorry, Aladdin. Genie!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No wonder there are more and more heartless everywhere. The only way to stop them is...


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[Assistant] This is really, uhm, a blessing to me and I really thank all the fans out there.


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[Assistant] That Bicep Opera Digest that read it and that voted for me for this year.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I especially want to thank Phil Capice and, uh, Peter Dunn who produced and wrote last year's episodes that gave me the opportunity to have this storyline come forth. I'm very grateful to them and I really want to thank my


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Real life husband, Calvin Crane, and two very special people in my life.


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[Assistant] Yes, and it might very well include any or all of the three finalists in one of this year's new categories, Outstanding Young Leading Actor in a Daytime Serial.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, well, Benjamin. Time for you to die with some dignity.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] One like to live Tina Andrea Evans and Santa Barbara's Gina Linda Gibbene.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You'll find it. I'm searching too.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A circus of clowns. Not much use for hunting gorillas.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Young man, we've been in this jungle for some time now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But we have yet to encounter these friends of yours.


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[Assistant] He must be the leader. Perfect. I'll go along as an escort. After all, the jungle is a dangerous place.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Now, Miss Porter, as I told you, I was not aiming at the gorillas. You are not to go near the gorillas again!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] All because of one mishap. Come now. Hmm?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What am I doing with these imbeciles? Last of Gorillaz!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Tell me some of the great pictures you did and some of your favorite pictures and some of your favorite leading men.


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[Assistant] Nojumper, coolest podcast in the world, and today I'm in here with the one and only Aaron Carter. Man, it's really nice to have you in here. Thanks man. I mean, get the vibe that you're a very fascinating guy and we're gonna learn a lot today.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Things would have been a lot different if at the height of your popularity, you had joined the Bloods. Yea, exactly. A lot different.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're right, I don't. Are you affiliated? I've always avoided that myself.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But you know when we call people trolls, like people in the YouTube comments, trolls, we're not calling them actual trolls, like we don't think that they grew up under a bridge or whatever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think a physical attack is where you can kind of draw the line that things have become different there. Well, I've been having all kinds of physical stuff happen.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Toons audio, Toons headphones. They've been sponsoring this podcast. It's the illest headphones in the street. If you go to ToonsAudio.com you can get a pair of $250 headphones for only $40.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Anyway, so yeaah, it's kind of weird because you consider yourself to be more of a participant in the overall culture as a whole, you're interested in hip hop, you make beats, all this kind of stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I heard about that. We're gonna bring that out momentarily, but, uh, so- I custom worked on something for you, uh, last night and today. So you're a real renaissance man, like you're pursuing all kinds of different stuff. Do you feel like the drama that you've been kind of wrapped up in sort of takes some of the attention off of what are legitimate creative pursuits?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Nah, I wouldn't go to the next funeral. But what about her? Like, what was the difference between her that she did something so horrific to you and that you could just forgive? With who? With the, the, Lesley.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right. So, take me all the way back, cause I'm a little bit ignorant. Uhm, did you have a pretty average childhood before the fame came into the picture? Before your brother blew the fuck up?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So just this one song you pulled or what? Pyro. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm watching you on this doctor show and they're acting like the weed is such a big deal. I'm like, where have you guys been for all these years? It's not that big a deal anymore, right? Or is it because you're an addict?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Whoa, I need to get into this lot of work. Anybody want to buy some bleached hoodies, I'll do it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's my other security right there. This is even more 6ix9ine-ish. Oh, he's a security too, okay. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do you think that he needs to be in jail? Like, that the world would be a better place if he was locked up?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was trying to film- She's just real, man. I was trying to film like a Snapchat threesome with my girl and her and she was too scared. Oh yea, I know you do that shit. She was a little too scared. She was like, I don't know if I want to eat pussy. I'm like, eat pussy? I'm like, you don't have to eat pussy. You know, like, eat a dick. It's like, it's nothing. Right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Damn. So yeaah, I guess I got through most of my questions.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, once we, uh, once we wrap the interview, we'll bump it over, cause otherwise we're gonna get kinda fucked up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You could get it at, uh, well, you're probably gonna just go to your local dispensary and tell them, yo, I need no Jumper Kush in stores.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Baron Carter and Nojumper, appreciate you man. Thank you so much. Of course. Check us out on YouTube, Soundcloud, iTunes. Like, comment and subscribe and check out Nojumper.com. Grab a condom or a t-shirt. We appreciate all the support.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Ladies and gentlemen, the best of the bad girls, Donna Mills.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's like, it's almost like he, basically every time he comes, there's always something negative on a rapper in our city, you feel me? Without like showing love back really, so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's like he put me on blast a little bit, like as far as like with the scamming, which it wasn't nothing wrong with doing what he did. It's just the way he did it. You know what I mean? Instead of posting like, okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] All this negative shit, what's up with the positive shit that we do do for our community? Like as far as what I do for Chicago, other rappers do for Chicago, it's strictly negative, you know? So if somebody's outside looking in and never been in Chicago, they automatically look at the rappers as being negative. They don't want to come to Chicago. You ask somebody about Chicago, they gonna say, oh, I don't want to go to Chicago. It's bad.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, like I say, DJ Academics, the shit he did, it was cool. Like it did give, it helped, I'm not gonna lie, he did help me get to the next level as far as with the, my name building, but I just feel like the good stuff that we do in Chicago is not recognized enough. You know what I mean? As far as, but I mean, it's another story though, you know?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because if you really are a scammer and you really got called by the FBI to be all over.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You get what I'm saying? Because the paperwork will be, you won't have to really go make up this and do this and post this because the news is going to post all that. Once you get a criminal complaint, it is all over the internet.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Without, without even you having to say nothing, the press will say something because they want the story to be big because if you go to jail, they make money off you going to jail. Just like I just came home in March.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know what I mean? I've only been home for- How many years you do? I do two and a half years.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's not what you think on TV or anything like that. It's strictly just like this, but it's all guys. You get what you want if you have a lot of money on the outside.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know what I mean? So you can send money here, send money there. Guards will bring it in. Whatever. Whatever you want, you getting basically.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, you have some guards that's cool, you have some guards that's not cool. So, so let's say if you got the cool guard that works from 10 to 4, and the bad guard that works from 4 to 9, you can't have your phone out from 4 to 9. You have to, you have to find somewhere to hide it, or you pay somebody to hide the phone or the laptop.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know what I mean? Like $200 for the week or something. They always hide it from four to nine.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know what I mean? Then we bring it back out at 10 and we be on it. You know, that's how you know, keep up what's going on in the room. Or if you making money, you keep up what's going on. Whatever, you know?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And you're gonna do the crime. You cannot tell. You can't be a snitch. You can't be. I'm sorry because if you do that, everything gets stripped. The guards, they won't like you. The inmates won't like you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes, they are regular people, bro. And they ride more with the inmates. They listen to the inmates all the time. So if I need some tissue, I gotta ask the guard. So we interact with everything. Hey, I need a blanket. I need some tissue. I need this. So they listen to what, like the snitches, they cannot sit in a TV room. You have to sit, you have to watch TV in a hallway with your chair outside.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The prison I was in it was, it was, uh, it was mostly whites.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Calling you, nah, here it is and this, like, yeah, it was that bad. You know what I mean? There was like, you won't be doing nothing wrong, but they'd say, tuck your shirt in and do this and do that. It was like that a little bit. You feel me? They're overpowered their authority.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And like when I got called with the cell phone and the laptop, uh, I went to the shoe and like I said, I was locked 23 hours, one hour out the shower, that was twice a week, Tuesdays and Thursdays.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So they make you go through the worst. You stop eating after four o'clock. You know what I'm saying? So could you imagine your dinner is at four o'clock and you got to wait all the way to six AM to eat? You know what I mean? And then y'all make me work. They make you work for 12 cent, 11 cent an hour. You know what I'm saying? So it's like, it's man, it's bad, bro. You feel me?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes, bro. That's the whole goal. You might catch, okay, the feds ain't what you think. Everybody is in there is not rich. Everybody is, you have big scammers, you have little scammers, you have, just like you have a El Chapo and you have the guys that work on the corner with the bags. You got the big scammers that like me,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That can make millions, then you have the little scammers that can get on a dark web and just get little credit cards and get food and


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know the restitution amount and you know this. You can tell who's ballin' by, I might have three guys and I might have my girl or whoever send money to this guy books, this guy books, this guy books. He don't go to the store.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You feel me? That's, depending on how cool I am with you, I might just give you $20 to hold that down. Cause $20 is a lot in jail.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know what I'm saying? So it was, it was like that. It was very comfortable. Phones, you don't hold no phones. You only get them when you need to use them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, you got the, you have more scammers in jail than drug dealers because scamming is the new wave right now. That's what the cops want to catch? They want, right now scam, yes, because, okay, nah, the cops want to catch drug dealers because drug dealers get more time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Whereas the scammer don't have to kill anybody. See, they feel like this. I can lock you up for 10 years, 20 years and make $100,000 to a million dollars off you. The scammer only get a few years so he's pointless.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Unless he runs, I was locked up with scammers that made 2, 3, 400 million dollars and they only had 12 years.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You feel me? And they file you on taxes. And they make you work. So you're working and they're getting paid for you. Right. You know what I mean? So they're giving you $20. We are doing...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm talking about thousand dollars. They're building jails, bro. The inmates are building jails. So could you imagine you have the inmate make them the walls, making them, putting the barbed wire fences up. Just to put somebody else like him in there. Exactly. Giving them 10 cents an hour. Oof.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] See what I mean? So that's, it's real life. You see the girl JT just got out, you feel me? So you, you understand that what, like, I understand what she's saying in her music. So when she was talking about R&D, that's when you first get to prison. You know what I mean? You gotta check in, they gonna make you put on a tan, a suit with some blue shoes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes, bro. That's, man, that scamming is the wave. That's how I came up, bruh. You know what I'm saying?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, so look, like, okay, like I was telling you, it's a few different types of scammers.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] On dark web doing shit for me, you feel me? So it just depends on like what you, what you call scamming because yeah, you might have your little runner, like some of these guys that's out here on the internet that call themselves scammers, they are runners to me, bro. You feel me? I would have them go into Neiman's, go give me some free clothes, get their ass 20%.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The first place I did was bank, bank moves. Bank moves is you might have a banking account with no money in it. I put five to ten to fifteen thousand dollars in the account.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We're not, you're not at risk. I'm not at risk. The bank is at risk, but I'ma tell you after we do this account, just report your shit stolen. You get what I'm saying? We split the bread, but like I said, depending on our relationship.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I might get yo ass two thousand, I'ma keep the rest, you feel me? Right. But you ate though, you ate, it's free bands basically. So just, now on my level of scamming, I might have ten people.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like you say you got, let's say if you said you have Bank of America, I'm not gonna do your card unless you tell me you got 10 people.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I'ma make you get ten people and you're gonna get all ten people and you do the math. That's seven times ten.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So basically, okay. No, no, no. Every ATM has a limit. So this is how you finesse. You don't go in a bank because they don't want to be on camera. You cannot report the card stolen if you're on camera. So let's say if it's Bank of America, their ATM is $800. Okay, boom, you take that $800 out the ATM. You don't do it, you use one of these.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So what you're gonna do is, I don't do nothing without connections. Like, okay, if this lady works at a currency exchange, most likely I'ma get her. She gonna, she gonna be my friend. I'ma pay her, do whatever. Now I can send you in there, hey man, my homie finna go in there and swipe for 7,000. Cash events. One swipe, 7,000. Right. 800 off the ATM. Never touch the bank.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You feel me? But it's uh, you don't just be no, just walk in there random on some random shit and try to get the money, you gon' ask to get caught.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Only way I got caught is cause I got told on, you feel me? That I was really, I was setting my people up bro, always to win. I didn't just walk in stores and did nothing sloppy. If you a neemist, it's because you are somebody I know that's in there and it's 100% going. If you're an apple, I know I'm finna get 50 phones off you because you work there. You already know what's going on.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Exactly. And guess how much they get paid? $300 a week. So you ain't trying to take this $100,000 a month? What you trying to do? So how you get those people is, I was


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Getting cars, Lamborghinis, all that type of shit you pull. Now, you don't have to shoot straight at them. Sometime you gotta build a relationship. You might pull up on them in the lamb or something. And, like, I'll catch them up at the gas station, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You'll see them struggling. They'll be like, can I get five dollars on this pump? Whole time. I'm already knowing who this person is and everything. But you might put a couple thousand in their pocket. You got the lent. They see the all.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] All around vision, but they like living like that too, you feel me? And long as they become comfortable, then that's where you can make the play like, yeah, I, you know, I could put you in a better position, this and that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, like it's just like, like on a dark web, I wasn't never just a person to get on there and look for little cards and CVVs. If I'm going to get on a dark web, I was trying to become the vendor. I was trying to finesse everybody who bought from me. Like, okay, for instance, if you're a vendor on a dark web,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Most likely you might have a thousand CVVs, which is credit cards. Okay, boom. Now I might sell.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] $200 of those credit cards might be good, and the rest of them fuckin' dead. $800 is dead. But I just made like $90,000. You get it? Even if it's small amounts, it still add up quick in one day.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes, as if you want to, but you can, on a dark web bro, you know, okay, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Where it says, uh, when you go to look at the reviews, you know, you can buy those. Oh, okay. So if you're a real scammer, you would notice, you would know that, man, I'm at the shoot my reviews up. I'm going to shoot this up, have everybody buying for me and make a hundred thousand dollars and close this account down. Why you think every time you get on a dark web, the sites are study changing?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, no, no, no, no, you don't do it in one area. You have to, you have to. Okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] First of all, you have to deal with professional people.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But like I said bro, everybody has goals and dreams and they look at it like, I just don't want to be the regular working person. I don't want to be working anymore. So they think like, damn, I can actually start a business. I can actually do something.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, I'm getting scammed and you know what I'm saying? I'm working a job. I've been working here. I'm still not rich. You feel me? That's how I thought. That's what made me get on what I was on.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Basically a person, actually a friend bro, a friend that I used to hang out with, once you start making money, people get envious of you, right? So like, let's say if you ahead of me with, let's say if you got 500,000 and I'm like 50,000 in and I pass you up and I,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Basically, you don't tell me you get jammed up and I still fuck with you back and forth and then you, I'm the bigger fish now. If you, if they get into it with you like, oh man, who you know that's a bigger fish, person that's, you can tell her, oh, bad man, careful, he a rapper and ooh. Oh yeah, now they get to watching you paying attention to you and this and that and you get bumped.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But if it wasn't for a- see that's the only way you can really get caught with this shit. A person telling on you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because you could be in on 60th floor with 10 fucking laptops making 20 million dollars and wouldn't nobody know. But if you start involving people, that's when people will know what's going on.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Selling drugs, like, some people sell drugs because they want the street stamp. They want to be like, oh I'm a street guy, and this and that. But that's not really, where is, okay, you taking the risk, you gotta, you have to sell drugs, you gotta meet up with a random person, then you gotta re-up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't have to do anything, I just gotta basically get me a card with no money, no investment and come up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Man, you don't even, you can honestly not need anybody. You can sit in your, like I said, in your penthouse and not need nobody and run up 60 million dollars.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know nobody that have actually got caught doing, the only people that gets caught is the people that, that, uh, okay, let's say if you scam a person and you don't pay them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They get pissed and tell on you. I've seen people get called like that, but just don't- The banks, they don't care if you fuck them over because they feel like you need them. Banks feel like you need them. You know what I'm saying? So they're like, oh if you fuck up the account, that's on you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't, it's a lot of scammers out here, but I don't see it. I have to, I have to know if you're a real scammer by looking like, oh that dude a real scammer bro. How can you tell?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The income, the clothes, how they living, what they driving, everything. Because scammers make a lot of money, bro. You make so much money it's hard to hide the wealth, you feel me?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then it be, like I said, you know, money brings connections. It brings bigger, bigger and better things. You just taking two million and investing it in this and doing this and you going in with shit and with this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, still around. Car business, real estate, everything. I just link up with people and invest in this and that. I just turned into a big investor, you know what I'm saying?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh man, they took, they took a few cars, they took like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They took like $200,000 worth of jewelry, they took a lot of stuff, you know what I mean? But like I say, like, I still, I was doing what I was doing, I was paying taxes. Right. So it's certain things that you still can't take because I'm showing proof that I...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know what I'm saying? That I was paying this because I was doing music. You feel me? Right. So I was just paying taxes and stuff like that. And my credit was amazing. The government told me, like, man, yo, this guy's credit is way too high.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know what I mean? Like, he can't, so now I can't get credit, they was like, you can't get credit cards, you can't do this, you can't do that. You know what I'm saying? So.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know what I'm sayin'? I was just like, shit, I'm gonna be like the first person that's, cause everybody looked down on scamming, you know what I'm sayin'? At that time, yeah. I'm like, man, scamming, man, that shit. You heard, I don't know if you, have you ever heard Rick Ross's song? He was like, credit card schemes for the faggots? You ever heard that?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I said, okay, I turnt up on that shit. I'm like, I'm running these meals. I'm like, I'ma, I'ma, I'ma tell, I'ma say, one day I'ma look the man in his eyes, G, and tell his ass like, I remember you said a line, man, and I ain't never, I just ran it up off you on that, you know?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was locked, I'm telling you bro, everybody that I was just locked up with had, all had life. And like, as far as like, you got the scammers, then you got the drug dealers. Man, they was like, man, I wish I did what you did little bro and woo woo. You know what I'm saying? Right. Cause I got the most money in here and all the scammers had a lot of money, don't get me wrong, but I had the most.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't really know no, like I know people that'll probably do what I do and invest. Like I say, people will want to be the street, want to be the drug dealer so bad, they will do what I do then invest in drugs, which is backwards because you still got to re-up. Might as well just stick to this lane.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right, right bro. And then like, skimming. You ever heard of ATM skimming?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I like, I listen to Scam Rap, you know what I mean? But as far as, I didn't rap about Scam Rap before I went in, because I was hot, bro.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm really in a federal, I'm really on probation right now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You feel me? Like I'm not playing like this is real. Like I don't, I want to make up a story and say, yeah, uh, I was just got snatched by the feds and no, I really got snatched by the feds. A hundred black trucks was outside, real FBI shit came, you know what I'm saying? Kick the door and get down. And I'm like, damn, it was, it seemed like fake. You know what I'm saying?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like he doing his thing, you know what I'm saying, as far as notoriety and people recognize, but I don't really honestly think he a real scammer. You know what I'm saying? I don't, like I said, I'm only paying attention to what I see.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like as far as the scammers that I hang out with and I know, they are rich bro, they are ballers. You feel me? Like super rich. Like you wouldn't even believe, you wouldn't even believe that they ever scam.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Exactly. No, it is, you gotta understand. It is kids, it's plenty kids at that level doing exactly what he's rapping about right now. But notice, they all are on the same level. They doing a little, but you gotta understand, it feels good to get a free hundred, a free two hundred, a free three hundred.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know what I mean? That's still a lot of money to them cause they like, shit, I could be working at McDonald's making 200 a week. So they might, oh, I'm a scammer.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know what I'm saying? But I'm talking about real scam. I'm talking about ATM jackpotting, bro. Going up to the ATM, wiping that whole motherfucker out. You know what I'm saying? Tricking the system, making it think it-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] One dollar bills are coming out and really twenty dollar bills are coming out and you jackpotting that bitch for real. You can do that? How the hell do you do that? Just, man, just knowing, you know, the methods, you know? Wow. But basically it's serious out here, you know what I'm saying, with this scam and stuff. Just, just like you have,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You could have a big ass chain and a watch and hit an insurance scam. You could have a $20,000 credit card and say, I could use your whole credit card and say, man look, we gon' split it, uh, just report it stolen after I wipe it out. That's a scam.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, I actually seen the post and I was basically, I commented, I was like, bro, you should, uh, you should take the post down. Cause uhm, I don't think for, if we're coming up in scam rapping,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You don't know it or not, but you really on my team. Right. If you're a scammer. If they talk about TJ Sixx, they're gonna merge it with Bandman Kevo. They're gonna merge Bandman Kevo and Money Man. They're gonna merge all these scam rappers together. Right. So if you do anything fool, you will make everybody look fool. Right. You know what I'm saying? Which is not good at all. You know what I mean? That's why I was like, oh, you should take this down. Cause everybody knows if you get locked up, the shit gonna be everywhere. You know what I'm saying?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Keep going up, you know what I mean? So he gotta keep coming with better stunts, which is fine. But when I see him though, I see my life. So what he's talking about is...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I like it because I've been through that, you know what I mean? But I'm on a bigger level. So I like it, you know what I mean? It's just a rap, you know what I'm saying? I just be like, basically just listen to them like, okay, cool, that's what's up. But then I just be like, man, you know, as far as like, I don't see, I want to see the rich shit. I want to see the real scamming, the scammer.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I try to give you different ones. The insurance, the credit cards, the skimmers. Like, the dark web becoming a vendor. Like, man, it's so much. You'll be like, wow. Like, every day a person making the 30 to 50. Every day.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, okay, the feds look into me. They see, oh, he got all these cars. They pay cash. That's one. Now, if you didn't pay your taxes on the car, you pay cash. That's automatically. You fucked. You feel me? So that was one strike against me. I paid for them. I was already cash. Boom.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Then I had all these different crips everywhere, like seven different crips, you know what I mean? But they were all in like CPNs, I don't know if you know what a CPN is, it's basically a second social, like a credit profile number.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I had different socials under my name or whatever all over and just, people just basically


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, basically I went to Walmart, the cash out $60,000 out in Valparaiso, Indiana. When I went out there, I was at the money order machine too long. I had like $40,000 on the card left basically. So it's taken forever to come out. So the lady thought I was hacking the ATM machine. She called the police.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When she called the police, I'm still trying to clear my money, you feel me? I'm like, fuck it. Then I'm just like, nah, they probably, it's been like 10 minutes, they probably on their way. When I walked out, I seen it full of squad cars, right? They walk right past me, I get in the car, I hit the road. Now, when I'm on the road heading back towards Chicago,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They pulled me over, but they didn't have no proper recalls to stop me and I knew it. I'm like, man, they ain't gonna find shit. I had like 30, 40 cars in the car, but these are debit cards, not credit cards.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This means that you have to pin and you can take the money off if it's available. Right. You feel me? So, okay, now I got all these damn money orders in the car. They stop me. They say, they up gun, say get out the car. They didn't post a tell us to get out the car. We get out the car.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They searched me. Now they didn't search the car, which is weird. You might as well search the car if you illegally pulled me over. So they found one debit card in my back pocket. They tell me, man, listen, if this car come back, report it stolen or whatever, you going to jail. I'm like, whatever. You know what I'm saying? They couldn't lock me up because they couldn't do nothing. You feel me?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They, they were just like, they let, they let me go. A week later I had a hundred thousand dollar, uh, bond on me. Boom. Ten thousand dollars bailout, bail right out. Boom.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Then, when I go back to court or whatever, they say, oh, uh, they say, yeaah, you know the FBI boys are on you. I'm like, what? You feel me?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm like, damn, the FBI, they was like, yeah, we don't got to worry about you no more or whatever, but whole time y'all still got me going back and forth to court. So they trying to slam me in the state too. They trying to give me 10, 20 years in the state. So I took that shit to trial. My lawyer beat it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Then he come to feds. Ah. You see what I'm saying? Right. So then you try, which it happens, they'll give you 20, 30 years in the state and turn around after they give you 20, 30 years in the state, give you 20, 30 years in the feds. Wow. Drug dealers.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Scammers, you might do 2-5 years in the state, 2-5 years in the fed. It's still 10 years, they still made like 250,000 off you. Right.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know what I'm sayin'? That's a scam. Just like college, scam. You know what I mean?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] To get a job? To pay you back while I'm working?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm gonna ask you a question. Do you honestly know how many people that you went to school with actually went through with school and actually is successful bro?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I have no idea, I don't talk to anybody from high school, but probably not a lot. Is that, I don't know, I don't know any. Right. And they would so geek that 21, 22, 23, you know what I mean? That whole, your whole situation, but guess what, I bet I can guarantee you this, I bet you they in debt.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, like scammers bro, they know every, like, coming up with credit, they doing credit sweeps. Right. Even background cleaning, they taking shit off their background. As long as it's not FBI shit, they taking it off. State, you can't, you pull me over, I don't got no background.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, like, okay, like the feds, you talking about as far as in jail?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, for instance, most of the time, scammers, most of the time, scammers is, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You deal with a lotta Africans. Why is that? I don't know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, or the mail, or the check in. So I basically, I got into it with a lot of Africans and a lot of, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, Nigerians and like Chinese motherfuckers, like hackers and shit like that, you know what I'm saying? I was fucking with them, but they was low key trying to scam me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know what I'm saying? Like on some, see the dark web is full of rippers. You know what a ripper is, right? A person that don't pay you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, like, you might send them, like, man, he'd be like, oh, I can flip $5,000 on this. And you pay them and they rip you. That means that they don't pay you, basically. You know what I'm saying? So basically, it's like, I dealt with a lot of them type of people where we'll do, they'll say they'll finesse you. We'll make like $800,000 a piece and we'll be talking shit like, yeah, we're going to make more money.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When it's a bigger plate for a million or something, they fucking you on it. You not getting no, you not getting the bread. You know what I'm saying? But they will grease you up and y'all both eat real good, then they'll play you on a bigger.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. You know how, you know how I go though. You know, they just feel like what I, what my goal is, is half of this and I'm finna reach my goal that I always dreamed of right here with this bread. I'm about to do it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Not just fuck it off, you know what I'm saying? Most scammers, they own drugs, lean, that's why you, that could be another reason why you don't see a lot of balling. They probably just so damn high and drunk and you know what I'm saying? Was that over you? No, I don't, I don't do no drugs or nothing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was dealing with so much money, bro. I might have $200,000 in this house. I might have like $600,000 in this house. And I was always paranoid. You know what I mean? I ain't even trust the little bitches I was with. You know what I mean? I'm always calling them every five seconds like, yeah, uh, make sure there's, you know what I'm saying? I will hide my money in the house, bro.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And make sure that, oh, you ain't been in that closet, have you? You know? For real! Like, I was like that, so it was just...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Music. That's how I felt. I felt like, man, I put a few million in this shit and really just give me a whole lot of artists and just really turn up and...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know what I'm saying? Change the world, bro. You know, like, create different, mute, like, I just found out, like, uh, when I got out, I heard Lil Yachty used to be a scammer.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah, so that just tells you, you know what I'm saying? Like, that shit real bro, like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I was just like, damn, okay, I'ma get on this shit. I'm finna turn this music up with this scam shit and take it a whole nother level. I was even trying to put together like a little scamming tour.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's why I was saying, like, uhm, I don't got no problem with TJ6 or whatever, but it's just, I just feel like if he gonna do something, just do it the right way, you feel me, as far as on a scam for everybody. Speaking on a scammer.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Interesting to see you guys build. I wanna see, I wanna see what he got. I wanna see, cause I'ma be able to read him and know. I'ma be able to instantly read him and know like, yea this dude a scammer. You feel me? Cause it's natural. It's in you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Nah, I wouldn't, I can't, cause most of the people I thought probably was scammers, I feel like people do a little scamming, maybe a little, but they don't claim it. How TJ6 is claiming it, so I say he's a scammer, like me, you feel me? Like, so, I mean, I don't see her, I don't really, like I said, I just got out too though.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I do listen to Money Man, he be talking that shit too, so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Man, basically, you know, I was, when I was locked up I was...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like fucking with Instagram a lot on my cell phone and the laptop and shit and I was, all the scammers in jail and the feds was talking about Money Man, you feel me? They fuck, that was the only rapper they was talking about, all the scammers. He got the feds for the scam shit, you know what I'm saying? So I'm like, man, I gotta get into him bro. So when I got out, you know what I'm saying, I reached out to him and we was cool since, you know what I'm saying?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It wasn't like what I thought. Like, I'm like, damn, okay, I just got called for fraud. I went to the county.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it was almost like a party. It was almost like a club. Like, cause it was all, you gotta understand, it's all guys that know you that's fans. So they're like, Oh bro, you was just on the news and woohoo and this and that. So it was like, damn, you kind of feel a little bit more like, like cockier a little bit, you know, it wasn't like what you think. Like then I go to the feds and.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah, you not, you're, you only wanna come home.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, look, the first time I got locked up, I was at MCC, which is downtown Chicago. You can't do shit in there. It's all gas, they had little stripper holes that we pay every week, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday to come to the roof and shake ass.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] With no fence. Could you imagine that? A jail with no fence with a hotel across the street.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right? So from 4 to 9.30, you could be on the track.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So you have your homies who, we, I'm feeding y'all everyday. Y'all can at least watch me go get some pussy and come back.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So basically I have my girl, I'm on my cell phone, where you at? I'm like 20-30 minutes away, aight cool. She at the room, I see her car, I run over there. The hotel man already know what's going on and everything, he don't care. He don't make no money, you only making money off the prisoners.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So basically my girl, she up there, I hit her for about two hours, I run back on the compound, I'm good, but I bring them back squares, liquor, niggas ain't just out there for free, they want something. Bring me some, uh, Skittles back, cause you know, some candies we didn't have, certain chips we didn't have, certain drinks we didn't have.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're not looking that closely. It's a prison, it's a prison and it's a track around a prison.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It takes 20 seconds. The hotel room was literally this close, bro, to the jail. It was almost like it was unreal.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know what I'm saying? So, you can actually hop in the car, go to Walmart, long as she have a change of clothes for you in the car, y'all go to Walmart, you can damn near go to a movies. Wow. You know what I'm saying? Like, if some people was doing that, some people were actually getting caught, but guess how you got caught?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know what I'm saying? Because that's how they bribe you. Man, aw, you leaving at what time for? I'ma watch the track, I'ma look out for you. Now if they say the guards walking on the track,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Or they do an emergency count, then you gotta get out the pussy and come back. And hurry up and get back in the building. Or you gonna get, uh, escaped.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You catch an escape, yo ass gonna do another year. But me, I was tweeting, I had the damn phone on me while I was coming back from the hotel when they did an emergency count and they searched me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then once, once you get locked up, well once you go to the shoe, basically, people really start.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You have runners because if you get caught with, during a credit card swipe, they will hit you with, uh, if it's a conspiracy, you really fucked. But conspiracy? Identity fraud.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wow. Why would I do that just to go for some clothes when I can just get hit with bank fraud and make 50 to 100 thousand in one play?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You feel me? Right. Cause it's just like, okay well you take me down, I can just pay you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know what I'm saying? And you be straight. I mean, because you're still going to jail. The feds, you can tell. You think 6ix9ine come home? Honestly? I have no idea. He's not coming home. You don't believe it. No, he's not coming home because even if you tell, you still...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] People that told on me, told on a lot of people in Chicago. They still went to jail bro for five years, six years. Really? They don't care. They want you to snitch and fuck your whole reputation up and you go to jail now, go through hell in jail.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] For rats, all rats, they be in a cheese factory.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] All the people that told and then you have the regular population. He's over there with them with also people that like guys, if they do like a breast, you know, thing and change their whole sex, they'd be a super weirdos over there. You know what I mean? So he ain't nobody going to do anything over there. They're scared for their life.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's it, bro. And it's a big ass, he probably in a big ass dorm and everybody's just nervous and the guards don't like him and that's it. That's, that's about it. But when you go to regular population, he would have been fucked. He would have been probably getting raped and all types of shit. You know what I'm saying?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And probably, I can say he was probably going to be at a medium or a max. You know what I'm saying? And they was going, and it was, his people his age, 20 something, and they turn, they don't got nothing to look forward to bro. But, shit, I'm trying to stab something.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I stayed away from, I don't gangbang, you feel me? I stayed away from like, like the gangs and stuff like that because I knew I was gonna be a millionaire. You know what I mean? And by me being a millionaire and not evolving, I seen, so I was seeing people get locked up left to right in Chicago for


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just being around certain people, so I just stay to myself a lot. Okay. You know what I'm saying? And just try to run up bags basically. That was my main goal. Like if I'm gonna go to jail, it's gonna gotta be for some money.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's, I guess that's just how they, how they wanna do. You know, I'm, I was into money. I was always into money. I've been had money before all them rappers that came out of Chicago, bro. You know what I'm saying? Like, I was watching them grow like, damn, they doing their thing. But while they were growing, I was fighting the case.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I congratulate myself bro because while fighting my case, state and fed, I was still pushing my music. I was still paying for this, doing this, doing that. Still trying to stay positive knowing I was going to jail because I knew I would beat the state.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I knew I was gonna beat the feds. Because the state goes off relationships and, uh, with the lawyer, you might get a good lawyer, you probably pay him $20,000 in that area, he might know, he might went to school with everybody. But the feds is a finesse. They working with the state attorney and this, that, you know what I'm saying? They working, it's a finesse. All of it's fake. You might get ass $100,000, you waste your money.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Basically, as far as when I came home, bro, I was just like, man, I'ma come home and all types of people gon' fuck with me, I'ma do this and do that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And money just get to start coming in for me, like as far as like with people, like connections and like I said, I got real estate. I do Lamborghini rentals and stuff like that. So I might run up 50, $60,000 a month. I just got real smarter with the shit. You know what I'm saying? I just started getting into the Airbnb rentals and stuff like that just to really run it up the legit way.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause it's still affecting my life. I caught that shit, I caught the fed case in 14 and it's about to be 20. And then I caught the state case in 13. So, I mean, look how much it's been in my life.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know what I'm sayin'? So people really just gotta think about what they do. I feel like if you gonna get money, if you're gonna do criminal activities, you should at least try to invest some money into stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Not just fucking off on drugs or doing this and doing that, just really...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Put your foot down on investing, get some real estate, get some rental cars, get some rental properties, something.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I wanna be like Jay, bro. Diddy. You know what I'm saying? I wanna be top. That's basically what I'm trying to be like, bro. I'm trying to get up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah, I was just trying to get rich basically bro, you know, and trying to invest in the right things basically, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I was, I was so in tune with my, with my phones, but I was just seeing, I see a lot of, I see a lot of younger artists is like blowing every second, you know what I mean? And I see like, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I see like deal money is not like how it used to be. Like I see everybody deal money getting lower and lower. Like I see kids getting the money and then like labels are targeting kids basically I think.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause they, they'll be crazy happy with 50,000. Then they know that they're not going to be smart. They'll go buy a chain or something.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Exactly, exactly. I seen that. I mean, I was shocked. I watched it, bro. I'm like, damn, they got a sprite, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] To get to that point, you know what I mean? Because it's like, ain't no way out really in Chicago, bro. It's like, you can, anytime you can name a handful of artists.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's bad bro, but talk about Atlanta, it's millions of artists coming out of Atlanta, you know? But Chicago man, it's sad bro. You have to blow somewhere else to be big in Chicago. They're not going to like you first in Chicago.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like I said, I think a lot of fans are going to like that song because I'm really talking that scam, talking that song. You know, my life, you feel me? So it's basically, then we just going to go from there. But I was basically focused on, like I said, I got probation, I got a life. You know, my girl, she pregnant, she finna have a baby in January.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So we trying to get everything going, you know, just up and running. Cause you know, just got out basically.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, we got like uhm, probably about 70 songs right now. Okay. Basically, we just trying to shoot video after video after video basically, you know, while maintaining.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Girl, probation, this, that, you know what I'm saying? It's, it's, I'm just making it look easy, but it's hard though, bro. You know how it is when you just getting out the federal system. It's not easy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's sending them three, four hundred dollars a week. I'm like, damn, that's shit. Like, and these girls fall in love with the guys in jail, bro. They don't know him, never touched him, never. And then they get right out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So you had a, it was so many hustles in jail, like, as far as you could be a store man where this bottle of water is a dollar at the store, but if you want it from me, you gotta give me five dollars.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know what I'm saying? If you want it right now. Right. So that's a store man. He just got a locker full of shit that he's just selling and tripling his money. You feel me? It's just a lot of little shit that was going on in jail. Poker tables, making like 20, 30 thousand a week.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hell nah, I was fat as hell, 284. I was big bro. Then I got to gym and I seen everybody rip. And like, man, I might have to get into a fight or some shit. I might, I just started working out every day all day, bro. Like every day I, I ain't miss a day.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I was like, man, I gotta, just, I ain't, matter of fact, I ain't worked out in two days since I've been in...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Basically, my social media is bandman underscore K-E-V-O. My, uh, tour browser dropped tomorrow, so be looking out for that at three o'clock Eastern time, right? Three o'clock? Yea.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I want everybody to check that out. Comment, subscribe to my YouTube channel. You feel me? Twitter, bandman, Kevo.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm just concerned for her safety.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That need not concern you Sebastian. Have you anything to report?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Ariel, you've dissipated me again! I told you not to leave the palace!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] As the key bearer, you must already know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Don't feel bad, Jack. We'll come up with another plan for Halloween. Next time, we'll do it together.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Apparently actor Robert De Niro, you may have heard this, is in the middle of a lawsuit against a former assistant who embezzled money, uh, from him and, get this, binge watched 55 episodes of Friends in four days while on the job.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'll say that again. 55 episodes of Friends in Four Days while at work. Now that seems like a lot to probably all of you, but I was thinking to myself, I know someone who could blow that number away. Someone who watches a ton of television at work is rarely paying attention to me. I'm talking about my assistant, Sona Mobsessia.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Monday, Monday on the show I challenged Sona to beat the record of watching, binge watching 55 episodes at work of Friends in four days. She said no problem without skipping a beat.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And this is for real, this is not, we're not making this up. She has been watching Friends since Monday. So let's go live to Sona's desk and check on her progress. Sona!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, and you started, you didn't start at the beginning. How many episodes have you watched so far?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sona, what are some of the things that you've had to sort of blow off that you would not, you know, work related things in order to watch all these episodes of Friends?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I asked you to get me a turkey wrap, a turkey spinach wrap, uh, today for lunch.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, it really isn't, but it's, I'm glad that America's seeing what I see every day.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What is the Lightning Network? Can I really send bitcoins to anyone instantly without any fees? How does it even work? Well, stick around. In today's episode of Bitcoin Whiteboard Tuesday, we'll answer these questions and more.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Today's topic is the Bitcoin Lightning Network. Look, Bitcoin is great.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It puts you in control of your own money, allows you to connect with people halfway across the world, and it can't be shut down by any government or bank. But just like everything else, it has its limitations. If you've ever tried to send a transaction during a particularly busy time, you've probably noticed that Bitcoin transactions can get slow and expensive.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Transactions are confirmed only once every 10 minutes on average, and if you didn't attach a high enough fee, it could take even days to get confirmed. Unfortunately, this means that Bitcoin in its current form isn't scalable. While Visa can process up to 65,000 transactions per second, Bitcoin can handle only 7 transactions per second.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] With additional upgrades, this number can increase to double digits, but it's still not even close to traditional payment processors.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This becomes a real issue with day-to-day microtransactions. One of the main arguments of why Bitcoin can't be used as a medium of exchange is due to how slowly it works and how expensive it is to send small payments through the network. Wouldn't it be great if we could have instant and fee-less transactions?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is where the Lightning Network comes in. The Lightning Network is a set of rules that are built on top of Bitcoin's blockchain and are specifically designed to facilitate micro payments. So if Bitcoin is Layer 1, the Lightning Network is considered a Layer 2 solution.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The concept was originally introduced in 2015 and has been in development ever since. Its main idea is that small transactions don't need to be recorded directly on Bitcoin's blockchain, but rather off-chain.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It provides all the benefits Bitcoin has without its drawbacks. So how does the Lightning Network work exactly?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The basic concept behind the Lightning Network is payment channels. In other words, if I want to transact with my friend, we open an off-chain payment channel between us. From then on, the payment channel is open and any number of transactions can directly occur between me and my friend, without payments ever touching the main blockchain.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Funds can be transferred as quickly as the user's wallets can communicate over the net. Once we want to conclude our business, we conduct a closing transaction on the main blockchain and basically settle all of our previous transactions.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is kind of like me and my friend writing down how much each one of us owes the other without ever exchanging the money until he and I choose to settle the bill. Let's say my friend and I want to make some small bets on the results of the World Cup.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If we pay these bets on the Level 1 Bitcoin blockchain, we may end up paying a lot more than we intended due to fees. On the other hand, if we don't pay enough fees, we might find ourselves waiting for hours for the money to change hands.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But if we use the lightning network, it's a whole different ballgame. Let me explain. When you open a payment channel, each of you deposits a certain amount of money that acts sort of like a security deposit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The amount needs to be equal to or larger than the value that will eventually be transacted.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Let's say my friend and I want to conduct a series of bets with a total value of 1 Bitcoin. So we open up a payment channel between us and each of us deposits 0.5 Bitcoins as a security deposit. This deposit is the only payment that actually reaches the layer 1 blockchain. From now on, payments will be settled only between me and my friend.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Keep in mind that if at any point either one of us wants to back out of the transaction, we can easily just take our deposit and leave without consulting with the other person.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Now, let's assume that I lose a bet and need to pay my friend 0.1 Bitcoin. We will both sign a transaction in our off-chain ledger, kind of like a small pocketbook, stating that I now have 0.4 Bitcoins and he has 0.6 Bitcoins.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If at any point my friend wants to leave with the winnings, he can just display our signed ledger to the network and the deposits will be returned according to the new balances.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The Lightning Network also has a fraud protection mechanism built in. If for some reason I were to try to back out now and take my whole .5 Bitcoins back, my whole deposit will be sent over to my friend. Such harsh penalties are in place in order to discourage participants from trying to cheat.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Remember, even if my friend and I transacted over a thousand times, the blockchain will only ever show two transactions. One for opening the payment channel and depositing the money, and one for closing it and settling the bill. All of the transactions in between were basically fearless and instant.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So this is how the basic function of the lightning network works. But while this is all very nice, it means I have to deposit funds with each new person I want to interact with, and that's not very realistic.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In order to overcome this issue, the Lightning Network allows me to jump through connected payment channels.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I can ask my friend to pay his sister on my behalf using their open payment channel. The network effect makes the lightning network much more powerful. Since in order to transact with anyone, you just need to find a path to that someone through other participants in the network who already know each other.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It doesn't even matter if that channel goes through a hundred different intermediaries, hence making the lightning network globally scalable.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Moreover, the Lightning Network brings new possibilities for using Bitcoin as a payment method. One interesting example is that you can start streaming workload, meaning you can pay workers only for the number of minutes or even seconds they've worked, since there's no overhead. There's still a long way before the Lightning Network finishes its testing phases or becomes fully operational.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Still, in light of Bitcoin's very problematic drawbacks we discussed in the beginning of this video, this is really big news. With instant and near-feel-less lightning payments, Bitcoin would finally be able to replace credit cards and even cash or other person-to-person transaction methods.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's it for today's episode of Bitcoin Whiteboard Tuesday. Hopefully by now you understand the basic concepts of what the Lightning Network is and how it works.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You may still have some questions, man. If so, just leave them in the comments section below. And if you're watching this video on YouTube and enjoy what you've seen, don't forget to hit the like button. Then make sure to subscribe to the channel and click that bell so that you'll be notified as soon as we post new episodes. Thanks for joining me here at the Whiteboard. For 99Bitcoins.com, I'm Nate Martin, and I'll see you in a bit. We'll answer these questions and more.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Excellent. Yeah, it sounded like you guys had a bit longer time in the icefall and obviously getting up to camp two in the heat.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And we had anticipated when you guys left at 3am.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Looks like it. Depends on who you are, but that's what it is I guess nowadays.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Frontier colony like this? Not much. Best suggestion is to keep weapons down and hand off.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just realized. Buck was saying Blue Team didn't fight for meetings. Well they didn't have to sweet talk Sloan either. You think Sloan let them down here? Reckon it's a possibility.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You just got back to rolling loud, me and Chris. We're gonna meet up with all the homies that are here. It's day three. Last day. We gotta go crazy. The rain's not stopping us. Let's go.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It is officially over guys, the last day, rolling loud, I stole a bottle of McQueen, finna go turn that up. We are fucking, we are done. We are so done.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And the best part about this whole entire thing was Nardwar. Nardwar was the best. That was the best part. Fuck everything else. Fuck everything else.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Nardwark- Nardwark is now a good friend of ours. We found out Nardwark watches everything. Literally every no- he was mentioning shit that- I was like, bro, I watched that like once.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You drugged me! Made me-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We're not gods. We don't decide who lives and who dies. This shit is mine! It became mine when Joker turned me into a weapon of mass destruction! I know what you lost. And you judge me?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'll bring Lois here. When she sees how I perfected this world, she'll be afraid and disgusted. She'll be alive!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Lois' death doesn't just- He stole her from me! You stole this planet's freedom! It's time to give it back.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There was a senator, I think it was after the pancreatic cancer, who announced with great glee that I was going to be dead within six months.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hiding from the cops. Aren't there any good guys here?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Bats can tell you the rest later if you're having trouble sleeping. He borrowed the recipe from Superman. Supes gives it to his flunkies.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Operation Thunder Eagle Lightning, whatever, is underway.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've never seen the Batcave. Our Batcave anyway. Should be.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And another thing, our Wonder Woman is better looking.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Unlike your Luther, I've never indulged in law breaking.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Superman doesn't suspect his best friend is funding the insurrection.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So you need some sort of scanner to help identify these duplicates.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Stefan has a new shipment of that Kansas beef. Next time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You'll thank me for this later, Harleen.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I feel like myself again. Joker's dead, but you're-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Did someone say Buzz Q? I'm just kidding, but it is a cool town, man. Hey! Here we are!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's a real chill place to hang, you know? Do a little business, have some fun. I need it too. I've been working far too hard. Like a hoarder in Fleeche Weekie, as my roommate used to say. You like that Max?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I love you, but Claudio booked in advance. Claudio? Fucking Claudio, he isn't even any good. If he were gonna be in Barcelona, Milan, he couldn't even make it in Germany. Now he comes back here, he acts like fucking royalty. I'll introduce him.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Nah, I need to go to the toilet. Just give me a bottle of champagne, eh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Pfft. Fucking monkey from a fucking slum. And you act cool with me? What's that? Nothing. Say Max, you're a man of the world. What are you fucking doing, man?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's not working. Uh, there's a way to reboot the system. If I can get to the server room, I should be able to get everything back online. Strange.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Why can't I stay here with you under the table?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What about Bronco's office? That's all I care about. You should be able to lock us down, eh? If this works.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Beerus, your prediction was predictably wrong.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Too bad. But of course it is no surprise.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, Lord Beerus, have you had this dessert they call pudding? Pudding you say?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Congratulations! It seems that you have succeeded.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh! They are the Time Patrollers the Supreme Kai of Time hired.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So he was changing history to create some sort of exit for himself.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Lord Beerus, considering all things, why not try testing him? A test?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How about you come talk to me when you're ready?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Lord Beerus will not wake for years once he falls asleep. Assume that you will not be receiving any further help from us. Good luck, and goodbye.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Daniel's cell phone and wallet were still in the car, so she started tracking the thief's location on the phone's GPS and cross-referencing that with charges the thief was making on her credit card. This is the kind of story we need right now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, the rest of the U.S., well, the rest of us, excuse me, are watching the news every day feeling helpless. This woman watched taken and was like, I can do that, but for my car.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What happened next? Danielle showed up at each of the stores where the thief had used her credit card, talked to employees, and looked for clues. To be clear, this woman has no previous law enforcement experience. She's just a mom trying to get to the bottom of a crime. And if you've ever come home after curfew smelling like weed, you know moms solve crimes! And it's too bad. It is too bad.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] She's not a detective because Danielle Reno is a kick-ass detective name. Danielle Reno sounds like the main character on a show on TNT.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So Danielle was off to Applebee's, but because this story takes place in America, her hometown has multiple Applebee's.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So she and her friends split up and each went to a different location to wait. This is the kind of story we need right now. Nothing this cool ever happens at Applebee's.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Also, how cool is it to be friends with Danielle Reno? Most moms call you and invite you to book club. Danielle's like, are you free for a stakeout?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So Danielle's chilling in a booth, lying in wait, probably sipping on something like this. When the thief walks in, Danielle walks out, finds her car in the parking lot, and drives away. Because you know Mom has a spare key. Then...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Then she called the police, but not before live streaming her victory on Facebook.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Supposed to use the phone while you're driving, but I think we can make an exception when the driver is actively solving a crime.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Danielle called the cops, they arrested the thief, and she got her car back. Plus, her show got greenlit for season two.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] These days, the world is full of people committing crimes and getting away with it, so thank you, Danielle Reno, for catching at least one of them, because this is the kind of story we need right now.


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[Assistant] I don't got time for it, nigga. I don't got a dime for it, nigga. I just got bullets for it, nigga. I just got rhymes for it, nigga. If you went in to pay for the speeches, I may make time for that, nigga. May not spaz on every track, nigga.


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[Assistant] I see how you wanna act. Remember back when I was actually flippin' packs? Niggas talkin', all these niggas ain't bout that action. I'm from Chicago, we be shootin', we feel like packsin'. You got a problem, fuck it, we gon' be pistol packin'. Leave him bloody as fuck, he gon' need more than a napkin. I don't got time for these niggas and all of these bitches reactin'. If I want any reactions, I go YouTube and watch reaction. Young nigga, I'm richer than most nigga.


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[Assistant] Champagne, get it poppin', I don't wanna toast, nigga. Yea, I brag sometimes, I admit that I boast with it. Shit, I'm humble as fuck, I don't give a fuck about most niggas. They be tryin' me, but I don't really got time for these niggas.


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[Assistant] Damn right, you heard Drake. Pull up to your doorway with a faux ode, like faux play that go both ways so they kill you and your bitch for the end of the day, bitch. You heard me.


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[Assistant] Yeah, yeah, but how are we gonna know who whacked him? Huh? I got hollow points. Look.


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[Assistant] Like Yasuhiro Kubo here, going for a Guinness World Record title.


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[Assistant] The record is determined by how long he waits before jumping. At 50 seconds later. Off he goes.


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[Assistant] Free falling without a parachute is one of the most dangerous stunts imaginable.


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[Assistant] Do not even consider considering to consider to do it. Ever.


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[Assistant] Especially when even regular skydivers have their off days.


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[Assistant] Alright, so how does a skydiver fall fast enough to catch up with a parachute thrown out nearly a minute beforehand?


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[Assistant] Well, to find out, we need to brush up on terminal velocity and air resistance.


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[Assistant] As an object falls, it collides with trillions of tiny air molecules, resulting in air resistance.


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[Assistant] As the object accelerates, the air resistance acting on it increases until it matches the force of the object's weight. It's now at terminal velocity, the maximum speed it can fall.


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[Assistant] A smaller surface area decreases air resistance and so increases terminal velocity.


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[Assistant] A skydiver in spread eagle position hits terminal velocity around 120 miles an hour after about 12 seconds. But for Yasuhiro to catch up with his shoot, that is just too slow. So, which of our wannabe record breakers has remembered how we speed up our terminal velocity?


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[Assistant] Their wrap has a large surface area, thereby increasing air resistance and slowing them down.


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[Assistant] Going upside down and reducing his surface area decreases air resistance and increases terminal velocity. Trouble is... Oh, woah. It's very hard to control. Oh. That guy upside down too?


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[Assistant] Once he's caught up with his chute, Yasuhiro needed to steer himself into position to grab it. How did he do that?


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[Assistant] Well, skydivers can also use air resistance to maneuver.


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[Assistant] By adjusting his body shape, this guy deflects more air backwards, which pushes him forwards. Bullseye? Somehow all of our high flyers were fine. But I think we should leave the record to Yasuhiro.


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[Assistant] Thank you!


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[Assistant] There's a lot to be done around the tower. I hope you find some time to take a look at the board.


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[Assistant] Wait, you what? Fucking hell, Raheem, that was my job!


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[Assistant] I'm Michael. Troy's waiting for you in the loft. Good to have you here, Crane.


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[Assistant] We mourn all those who didn't survive, but as the president said in a speech here earlier today, life is for the living. Military troops have searched for survivors all over the quarantine, but now there's no one left besides the infected. According to Colonel Tanner, once his decontamination process is finished, the infection will be completely obliterated.


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[Assistant] Good work Osiris. Once Halsey has the Constructor sorted, Arbiter's people can move on Sinion, and I'll get her off world.


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[Assistant] We were all worried about what we were seeing. We knew that the credit system was pretty quickly headed towards something that looked a lot like seizure.


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[Assistant] The bonus and the compensation stuff made him more angry than I'd ever seen him.


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[Assistant] I remember him, like, really standing up out of his chair in the Oval Office and just being really pretty livid. I mean, the one thing he would, one thing he would not stand for was, you know, the American people being played for as chumps by these.


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[Assistant] By these banks and that, that was something he, he just really didn't like.


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[Assistant] And I say to the then-president-elect, wow, that had to have been the, uh, the worst economic briefing a new president's had in a, in a, you know, in almost a century. And the president says, that's not even my worst briefing this week.


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[Assistant] Well, this explains my missing man. And what is it you want?


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[Assistant] Hello everybody, my name is Markiplier and welcome to- well it's, uhm, it's not a let's play, it's a vlog. So, that's cool. Chica, make this- make this intro more or less awkward. Hup. Nup.


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[Assistant] I had to immediately say goodbye again, which was horrible, but anyway. So, it's been a lot of traveling and, uh, just to go on this trip, I had to pre-record like,


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[Assistant] 30, oh, like, no way, I had to pre-record like 50-something videos, which is why the order the videos have been coming out have been a little strange, intermixed with current day stuff, interspliced with old stuff,


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[Assistant] Uhm, so I apologize if it's been confusing and inconsistent, but I'm back now. Chica, stop breathing so loudly. Pull it down. Don't give me that look. It's an adorable look, but it's not gonna work on me.


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[Assistant] And then after that, I went back to Cincinnati for a little bit, and then I took this awesome trip to New York where I got to hang out with Jack and Felix and a whole slew of other YouTubers, like a whole bunch, and I could tell, like, there's so many stories from being there.


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[Assistant] Um, but, uh, it was just cool to be all in one place and be able to talk with each other and, you know, hang out and do activities and listen to speakers and then generally just have a good time with each other.