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[Assistant] Sit down. I mean, even you look at a guy like Trevor Lawrence, like the fact that they trade away Gardner Minshew instead of Trevor Lawrence learning from Minshew, who had an amazing rookie season.


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[Assistant] Then let him start. It just, it doesn't make sense to me to just throw them out there and have them learn right away.


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[Assistant] I wouldn't, I wouldn't be too concerned. I mean, listen, like, Kevin King misses it sometimes just like digs and they're basically the same player. So like, you know, they're going to have their ebbs and flows.


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[Assistant] I think the fact that he's been like, listen, like they had a, they had a close game with the Texans, but the fact that they're able to have like these kinds of games with like the Cowboys, the Buccaneers that are like held pretty close with a brand new rookie QB, you know, they really still don't have wide receivers. They, they, they still have such a lack on offense. Yeah. No, I don't think that's all on Belichick.


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[Assistant] I will happily do so. So heading into, uh, Sunday, Aaron Rodgers, you may know him as the, uh, agreement packers quarterback, uh, has a 21 and five record against the Chicago Bears. Not too shabby. Goes into soldier field.


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[Assistant] And, uh, during the game, scampers, like the little scamp that he is, scampers into the end zone, rushing TD. I don't know how teams are still falling for the fact when he pump fakes on the run, he's never going to throw the ball, but that's neither here nor there. So he pump fakes, gets in there, right? Throws on the belt.


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[Assistant] He puts it on, he whips it out after Robert Quinn mocked the belt.


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[Assistant] Which is just something you don't do. No tree. Which is just something you don't do. And a hot mic picked him up saying to the crowd, all my effing life I own you and I still own you. As you can see in the picture, there's a ton of people flipping off our


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[Assistant] And so then in his press conference, he's asked about it, and he's like, oh, I blacked out.


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[Assistant] And he's like, sometimes, uh, he's like, you know, sometimes you just gotta, you just gotta, uh, you know, just respond. And he did. And he did.


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[Assistant] Well, the other part of that, which was interesting too, he's just like, this one just happened to get picked up by the mics. He's like, you should listen to what other players say. And it's just not picked up by the cameras. So I think like no one would be saying anything if it obviously didn't get picked up by the mics. But I think at this point, like it's not.


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[Assistant] Like, it's, it's honestly my thoughts with taunting. One, I think it's funny that he's taunting the crowd instead of other players. But I think it's the idea of, like, hey, alright, like, I'm gonna say my stuff, if you wanna prove me wrong, play better. Like, Robert Quinn, right? Hit Aaron Rodgers, mock the belt.


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[Assistant] Okay, Aaron Rodgers then ran a touchdown on your ass and guess what? He gets to mock you. Like that, that's it. He's 22 and 5 now against you. He literally is right. Like I, we did this on GPS, like I went through the Bears subreddit and just watching their reaction to it was incredible. It was amazing. But it's the idea that it's like, hey,


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[Assistant] Because they were like, yeah, that sucks, but he's kinda right. Because he's 22 and 5.


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[Assistant] What was the stat? Brady was like 32 and 3 against the Bills.


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[Assistant] Uh, the fact that I missed Mason Crosby's game winning field goal from two weeks ago because of the Cowboys and Giants game, I will never forgive the Dallas Cowboys, so much so.


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[Assistant] I said I don't really understand what the lead singer of Kiss has to do with the NBA, but I'm just letting you guys talk.


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[Assistant] Yeah, I mean, every team that Perna mentioned is up for debate, but I think the Texans have a really good shot at it because one, I think they're trading everything. I heard Brandon Cooks is potentially like on the wire.


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[Assistant] But like, their schedule, like coming up next, they have the Cardinals, then the Rams, they have the Titans again, they have the Seahawks, and Russell Wilson will be back in December, they have the Colts again, and then they have the Chargers, and then the 49ers and the Titans again, like they don't-


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[Assistant] I have an easy schedule. Um, and I think like everyone within their division can win. I think the Jaguars can beat the Texans.


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[Assistant] So yeaah, I'm gonna say the Texans still, uh, they're, they're in contention. I think the Lions at least win a game. I think they, I think that they'll, they'll pull at least one through.


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[Assistant] I cannot wait for the day, like right after that day, where the Eagles have three top ten draft picks and you're dead scooter and you just need to watch them pick. Because like right now they have three top ten draft picks, which is just glorious.


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[Assistant] You can't even get this. I would love for you to take me to your loving arms in that jacket.


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[Assistant] Ooh, Belichick called a, he had a single timeout and called a one timeout with like less than a minute left in the Tom, like the Buccaneers Patriots game.


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[Assistant] Oh, that was for uhm, yeaah, to run time off the clock and they had to change the rule for that. That was a couple years ago. Yeaah. They really had to change the rule because that, because they just thought, it was like they took a delay of game or a false start or something to try and stop the clock.


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[Assistant] After that segment, I need to go find some spirituality, uhm, some dignity to ask for forgiveness for what I just witnessed.


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[Assistant] Ben Roethlisberger throwing and tripping at the same time. That was a couple weeks ago. And to dress up as a stealer. And uh, instead I got that punishment. And well, I, I had some fun with it. How's it going everyone? Tom Grassi here.


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[Assistant] And, uh, you know, this YouTube channel has afforded me some amazing opportunities.


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[Assistant] Uh, but today is something real special. I am here getting one-on-one training with Steelers QB, Ben Roethlisberger.


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[Assistant] Now I know there's been a lot of commentary on how Big Ben has been playing lately, but as you can see, this guy is as mobile as ever.


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[Assistant] Looks like he also has some fungus or mushrooms growing on him. Probably because he's been standing there for so long.


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[Assistant] Pardon my appearance, we've just been running routes all day. And I gotta tell ya, this guy still has it.


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[Assistant] However, what I'm really excited to show you is there was a play made just a couple of weeks ago where it looked like Ben Roethlisberger tripped over himself and then threw the ball. And he assured me that he was just doing that to confuse defenses that they had no idea what he was doing. And they didn't.


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[Assistant] Nah, it's just his passer rating. How was that?


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[Assistant] Honestly, I think he just, he might still be out there meditating right now. Like he seemed like he just wanted to be isolated a little bit. Uhm, so I think, you know, he just seems like a pensive nature loving guy. So, yeah.


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[Assistant] Yeah, nobody knows. Literally nobody knows. And LeFleur did not like the questions about his status. No, he did. No, LeFleur was sassy. He also talked about, uh, hot piss this morning. Yeah, he does that all the time, though. It's the second time he's talked about urine, and I'm starting to think, like, LeFleur has a kink, and listen, I'm not gonna kink shame on this show or anywhere else, but just saying. Okay, LeFleur. Let's wake up with hot urine.


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[Assistant] Well, alright, well a couple things there. One, he'd still be on the team if he agreed to waive the injury clause for next year.


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[Assistant] So the, the cowboys met with him and tried it because right now he has that injury money that he was gonna get next season and they were probably gonna cut him after this season, but he refused that. And so instead they're like, Hey, let's just pay for him and like pay for it now and have a nice day. And they'll get like a little bump in the cap next year.


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[Assistant] Scooter's not wrong. I mean, you look at his tape, run defense is atrocious. It is bad. You look at some of his tape and it's not good. Coverage is not as bad, but definitely he's nowhere near where he was when he was in his Pro Bowl year.


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[Assistant] But the thing is, and Scooter could say like he, and you know, there's tape that could back it up, that he is not what he was. The thing is, and what I told Packers fans, because there was kind of this,


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[Assistant] So it really doesn't matter, like, if he sucks, great, we wasted less than a million dollars. If he doesn't, then we got a really damn good bargain, a former pro bowler, and even if we just put him in there situational,


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[Assistant] It works out because the cowboys are basically paying him for us, for him to be on our roster. So for the Packers, it's an amazing signing, whether it works out or not. So.


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[Assistant] The Buccaneers, currently, right this second, have $3.3 million in cap space. The Packers had like nothing, I think they had like $7 million in cap space. The problem was, is not the fact that, oh, they only just gave a sixth round, it's because when you're trading a player, you are absorbing


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[Assistant] You need to absorb the base salary. So that's the problem. So that is the end of the, like, that's why all these other teams are like looking at like, oh my God, how come they can't give up more than a sixth in two years? It's just financially not possible for a bunch of these teams. Other teams, I don't know, like the ones who could afford it, you know, that's their prerogative.


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[Assistant] But that's why the Packers and Buccaneers and Seahawks, they couldn't afford it because they didn't have enough cap space. If they got cut, then that's a different story. Then you can restructure all you want. So they literally could not pay for it.


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[Assistant] Now, originally, Gilmore wanted like a ton of money, like a long-term contract, but then he backed off of that, seeing like, alright, no one's gonna pick me up. And then the rumor came out that the Packers were just gonna sign him once he was released at 4pm. And then the Panthers were like, we'll give you something. And the Pages were like, well, we might as well get something than nothing. And there you go.


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[Assistant] Honestly, I'm gonna give Scooter a prop. Trayvon Diggs, man, like, he, I will say, the Cowboys' defense is, is a lot better, I mean, that's a very low bar, but it's a lot better than it was last year, and Trayvon Diggs is playing some really damn good football right now.


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[Assistant] So, uh, if I had an upset this week, it was going to be the Seahawks. However, without Chris Carson, I do think that they are going to struggle a little bit. I do have the Rams winning though. I picked the Rams to win. I think they bounced back a little bit. This is totally going to be a difficult game for the Rams.


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[Assistant] You're playing to win the game. Best beer torture devices in all of Colorado.


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[Assistant] If you tune into that, you can actually ask us questions if we pick you.


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[Assistant] We've got a lot of stuff to talk about. First, let's lead into the title of the show. What happens


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[Assistant] There's Brandon there, Tree down here, and Scooter here.


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[Assistant] Can I sit? Can I set this up with Baker Mayfield? Now I'm on this side. Now I'm all confused.


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[Assistant] And then he goes on progressive commercial and puts a for sale sign right outside of first energy park. And he's just like, what's his wife's name? The blonde, uh, girl. Uh, he's like, honey, we're moving. His name is Emily.


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[Assistant] Emily, yes. He's like, Emily, I can't, I can't live here anymore. I don't like the neighbors. They suck.


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[Assistant] So, I would like everyone's thoughts on this on...


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[Assistant] First of all, what is Cleveland doing? And secondly, how do they fix this now? And then we'll get into the piece of information we just discovered about an hour ago as well.


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[Assistant] What the heck? Let's talk about Baker Mayfield. This man literally spilled his heart on Twitter. Like, did you guys read his note? This man literally spilled his heart.


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[Assistant] Before the whole world, people are dunking on him, clowning this man, saying, oh, you're bro, you're just weak minded. Oh, bro. All this up. What are your thoughts? What are your thoughts? A lot of people on the quote tweets.


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[Assistant] What is the feeling of Baker Mayfield in Cleveland? Like do you guys dislike this guy? Do you like him?


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[Assistant] Is it mixed? Like, cause to me, it's mixed. I feel like there's some Browns fans who are like, Baker's just, if we can just get him an Amari Cooper, Baker's right there. And then there's the other people who are like, this guy's trash. He's been trash. I told you he was trash. We should have been moved on. He's holding us back.


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[Assistant] I think shouldn't that be a plus though Tom in Baker Mayfield's like positive attributes that he went out there and gutted it out maybe to the detriment of his team but


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[Assistant] If Baker Mayfield was not in so many commercials, would the hatred for him be this high? I say no.


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[Assistant] I think the only reason it's this high is cause this dude is in half of these commercials you're seeing. He's sleeping at the stadium. He's then doing all this stuff. I feel like the more people see an athlete in commercials, the more they start to dislike it. He had issues back in college. Like he gave me Ryan Leathoff.


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[Assistant] So I wanna, I wanna say, I'm bringing up one thing. This was learned about an hour ago, Brett Coleman.


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[Assistant] It's so interesting because you go and you trade for a Mari Cooper, you give up a fifth, swap six, right?


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[Assistant] They got him for free. Why? Why do you do that and then release Jarvis Landry? It's so intriguing to me. What? Are you just trading players at this point? What's going on? I'm not, I'm not certain. What's happening?


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[Assistant] What are we doing, bruh? First off, Amari Cooper. I think this is a mistake.


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[Assistant] We let this man go for a fifth round pick! That's all we netted! A fifth!


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[Assistant] I remember seeing the trades and they were like a second and a fifth for Amari Cooper and I was disgusted with that. A second and a fifth. And we end up


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[Assistant] That is what is the question on everyone's mind. Why did, why are we prioritizing Michael Gallup over Amari Cooper?


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[Assistant] My thing was the Cooper deal was the haul was so bad. Like it was basically cutting him. Right. Well, basically it was really.


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[Assistant] If you look at all the articles and you dive deep into like the analytics of the contract, this is what was gonna happen regardless. Period. And guess what? If you dive into


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[Assistant] Does not make us better, in my opinion. But this guy was not.


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[Assistant] If you look at his history, he's barely playing for us. He's not in most games over his career. So management just said, Hey, you know what? Amari Cooper is barely playing for us. Lyle Collins is barely playing for us.


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[Assistant] Let's just get rid of the people who are injury prone. So they're gone!


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[Assistant] And did y'all hear this news about Demarcus Lawrence getting lowballed by Stephen Jones? Did y'all hear this?


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[Assistant] One year, 10 million. I don't know how you, how you don't pay that guy. So Marcus Lawrence on a podcast with some athletes came out and said,


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[Assistant] Steven Jones offered him a one year, 10 million dollar contract. And he was so taken aback from that, he said, y'all, hey, just release me. If that's what y'all are offering, I know my worth.


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[Assistant] RELEASE ME. CUT ME IF THAT'S WHAT YOU ARE OFFERING.


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[Assistant] Jerry Jones had to come back in and say, what are you doing, Steven?


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[Assistant] This Randy's been faithful to us. Pay him! And that's what happened.


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[Assistant] So a lot of Cowboys fans now are not


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[Assistant] Scooter, Scooter, I just want to ask you a question. You know how Belle Delphine sold her bathwater? Will you sell me your tears in this upcoming season? Just bottle them up.


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[Assistant] Let's talk about the girl that set off Baker Mayfield, Deshaun Watson.


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[Assistant] Is, is something gonna happen here? We've been saying this for a week now. Where's Deshaun Watson end up? Is there a serious suitor? What do you guys think? What do you think if he ends up?


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[Assistant] Type 1 in the comments right now if you would like Deshaun Watson to be your quarterback. Type 2 if there's no way in the world you would ever want Deshaun Watson to be your quarterback. And type 3 if you're just here so you won't get fined. Type 1 because we've known what to do with high controversy quarterbacks. This is, uh, so interesting.


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[Assistant] For me, it's a no. I don't want this guy. I believe these women. I believe them. I don't want this guy as my quarterback. I don't care if it costs us a Super Bowl.


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[Assistant] Okay, that's just me personally, but it's so interesting. So many other people.


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[Assistant] Let it play out, right? Uh, guilty until proven innocent. And it's just, it's, it's interesting. It's very interesting.


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[Assistant] I, for me as a Giants fan, I don't know what he, I mean, yeaah, he's a, he's a talented player, but I don't know, the Giants have way more problems than Deshaun Watson, like,


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[Assistant] Who cares, right? I don't, I don't know what he's gonna do. And also any of the, just the bad press around him, it's not good. It would not play well in New York. He would just be, he would be protested. For people that don't even like football would protest Deshaun Watson being in town. He needs to go to a team like Carolina or something where everyone's like,


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[Assistant] Well this speaks to something else, specifically in regards to Matt Ryan. But meaning that like, okay, Randy Gregory, we have a swath of Cowboys fans who are upset that this man turned his back on the Cowboys. I'm telling you, they're really upset.


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[Assistant] Uhm, but Matt Ryan though, Matt Ryan.


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[Assistant] This is the flip situation. It's the team not treating the player right. So it's like...


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[Assistant] Matt Ryan is put in work for the Falcons. Matt Ryan has been the quarterback year in, year out. Injured. This man is trying to play for business. So it's like, it's just interesting to see the, the, the dichotomy. It's like,


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[Assistant] In one instance, we don't care what the team does to the player. And then the other instance, it's, oh well, you, you owe the team.


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[Assistant] Listen, here's the thing, loyalty gets you nothing from the team stamp.


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[Assistant] When they will not restructure. I'm not upset with Amari Cooper that when the Cowboys said, hey, restructure, we're going to trade you, that Amari Cooper said,


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[Assistant] Trade me then. Bet. Trade me. It depends on the restructure.


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[Assistant] And it's like, I will never ever be on the side of management when it comes to telling a player to take a pay cut because look at how they do players like Matt Ryan, who they


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[Assistant] In the work, they don't care. Once your usefulness is done, doesn't matter. You could be Aaron Rodgers, but let Aaron Rodgers have a garbage year next season and see what happens.


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[Assistant] So it's just, I will always try to get your money while you can because you are one play away from never playing this game again at all times.


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[Assistant] Why even bother to not have a restructure? Like why just not start out at the bonus stage? Like it just seems like, are there NFL rules that say you can't start with this?


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[Assistant] Alright, let's go around and grade our teams or look at and examine each one of our teams. Let's start. I'll go around the horn. I'll call you guys. I want to speak to Tom first. What do you think the Packers have done


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[Assistant] Well, what do you think they haven't done well? What kind of grade? And what have they done for the people who have not been following the pack?


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[Assistant] What would you give this team in terms of a grade?


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[Assistant] What have the Broncos done? You obviously acquired Russell Wilson, but uhm, didn't you get some defensive guy? I don't know who.


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[Assistant] You're the one that's, yeah, your, your desk sucks. I can hear you clicking away over there. You're on.


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[Assistant] The one year Super Bowl, 30 years, Aaron Rodgers.


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[Assistant] You guys remember back during the draft, uh, Miles Jack, they were saying don't draft this guy cause he has this degenerative knee issue. You guys remember that?


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[Assistant] They said he would be out of the league in four seasons, uh, cut to 2022. Manz is doing just fine.


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[Assistant] Alright, uh, the Giants have had a very quiet off- Oh, what grade, by the way, Tree? Grade. I give it a B+. Can I- Can I-


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[Assistant] Yeaah, yeaah. He'll start week one and then they'll puncture his lung with a, like a, like an industrial drill or something. They'll be like, oh sorry Tyrod. And then Daniel Jones, yeaah, Glowwinski, Glowupski, is what his name is. Uhm, and then, uh, the real question is, what do we do with James Bradberry? He's, uhm, they don't know whether he's gonna restructure or get cut.


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[Assistant] And that's it. The Giants really haven't gotten better. They haven't gotten worse.


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[Assistant] They're fine, but this is going to be a rough year. So I can, yeah, I'll give them. See. So my question is what happens with Saquon? Well, isn't there something like uncertainty?


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[Assistant] Yeah, he'll probably play the last year of his contract out. He'll try to stay healthy so that he has value. And he'll end up getting signed by like San Francisco or something next year. But I don't think he's uh, he's not, I mean running back has


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[Assistant] When was the last time a running back spent their entire career with a team? The only guy I can think of that's been there that's still there is what? James White?


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[Assistant] Now, to the Cowboys Free Agency, my gosh, what you guys have been waiting for all week!


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[Assistant] We're gonna start us off with the ranking. We're at a D minus, okay?


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[Assistant] Off rip, we're losing Amari Cooper, that does not make us better. We signed Michael Gallup, he's coming off injury, I hope he, I hope this man


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[Assistant] Dominates. And he can. Let's just hope he recovers well. But!


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[Assistant] If you knew we were getting rid of Amari Cooper, why then would you let Cedric Wilson walk? Should have got that deal done beforehand. He goes to Miami. What the heck?


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[Assistant] Signed Noah Brown. One year deal. I like it. This could be the first chance we actually get to see a Noah Brown. You guys maybe have never heard of Noah Brown before? Well, this season, you guys might hear a little bit more of that name.


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[Assistant] We franchised, uh, Dalton Schultz. Questionable move that some people were thinking because this man is a possession receiver. He's not a blocking receiver. Our blocking receiver injured himself.


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[Assistant] What are we doing? We could have had our two defensive ends for the future. We could have had Micah free to do whatever he wanted to at the linebacker position. Now that the- Tree, move your mic. The Broncos have stolen Randy Gregory from us.


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[Assistant] It could have been so simple. I think there is one thing that's gonna help the Cowboys out a lot that a lot of Cowboys fans do not understand.


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[Assistant] Is healthy. This man was gone his whole rookie season. Do you guys know who that is? No, cause he barely played his rookie season. We're gonna see him. That was our second round, our third round pick. I can't remember. But he's healthy. And he's a 6'4". Nayshawn Wright as well, 6'4", cornerback. Hurt, injured.


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[Assistant] And we also have a linebacker that was hurt. I can't think of his name, but...


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[Assistant] I think those players will help us. But D minus overall, I don't know what we're doing. We are not getting better and some people are saying it's a conspiracy theory to get Mike McCarthy out of here. Why would you want to do that?


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[Assistant] And we're gonna ensure that this man cannot win. Therefore, clearing the way.


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[Assistant] What is this? Is that what, is that the Dallas Cowboys offseason? Is that what they've done here?


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[Assistant] That is annoying. Just use command strips. That's the way. No, that's even worse. We hung stuff with command and it has like the strength of like a toddler. Like we hung all these frames and they just fell off the wall. I'm interested to know though.


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[Assistant] What do you guys think when you're looking at what the Cowboys are doing? Like, are you guys looking at this? Like, oh, they're trying to save cap. I understand. Or are you guys looking and being like, oh, they are not trying to win next season?


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[Assistant] So I want to ask you a question. Go back up, or Brandon, go back to this photo right here.


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[Assistant] Back in the NFC East, you love to see it. You really do.


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[Assistant] Listen, I, I have enjoyed Scooter's tweets because every day it seems like it gets worse and, uh, and I think it's still gonna get worse before it gets better.


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[Assistant] I'll accept it. As long as you walk around your neighborhood in that.


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[Assistant] Alright, I knew you were gonna do that. Can I delete that?


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[Assistant] Next question before we get to laundry list and all that stuff. Which team is actually winning this offseason? Cause I have a pick. I think I know.


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[Assistant] I'm gonna be counterculture here. There's a team that got better by signing just one player.


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[Assistant] It's, it's, bro, all of these big contracts that you see, please keep in mind, half of them are just two-year contracts. But still, Don Miller's a three-year contract for 33.


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[Assistant] They're written like this just for the language. That number, he's not going to get that number. He's going to get whatever the first two to three years are. I think it's like 53, 54 million. But they're going all in.


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[Assistant] Forget anything else. Forget Randy Gregory. You go from Drew Locke to Russell Wilson. Was Teddy Bridgewater starting at the end?


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[Assistant] See, but here's the thing. It's not always a good thing to win the off-season. Washington has won like eight off-seasons out of the last 15, and they have not. Philly won the off-season a couple years ago, and they have not won a chance. Like, winning the off-season don't...


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[Assistant] Alright, let's wrap up the show. We've made it about...


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[Assistant] Listen, you guys are gonna have to come back next week, Thursday, 5 p.m. Eastern time.


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[Assistant] Bro, that's really good. That's an easy one right there. Oh yeaah. I'm with it. I can't even do it. I agree.


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[Assistant] I'm not even talented enough. Like, Tree can do the, uhm, what's that, from a system of a down, oh wah, like you can do that.


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[Assistant] And then Brandon could have the costume as well. What's coming out on your guys YouTube channels? Five?


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[Assistant] I'm doing a Josh McDaniels video. Is he the biggest snake in the NFL?


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[Assistant] Godspeed, brother. Godspeed. Brandon, what's dropping?


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[Assistant] I uh, the Cowboys video that you've been waiting for.


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[Assistant] We'll be dropping tomorrow sometime. My goodness. My goodness. Should be a fun one.


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[Assistant] Points, vids, five points. Welcome to the show. I bet you're happy about your drop. We're going to get all into that, but welcome five.


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[Assistant] What else is on point is someone by the name of Tom Grassi. Tom! Welcome, brethren. Ooh!


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[Assistant] We have a great show for you today. But before we get into that, uhm, you guys see the suit, right? Maybe you know that Subway invited me to the draft. Maybe you don't. We're gonna get into all of that. But before we do, we have a special guest.


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[Assistant] Okay, I need everyone in the chat right now to be commenting W. I don't know what-


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[Assistant] What channel you're on, but you need to be commenting W right now because joining this stream. If you were watching the draft, you saw.


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[Assistant] Absolutely. So I guess we can just start with the first question and guys you can just join in as well asking Sam whatever questions you want. But first question!


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[Assistant] Follow up, and then Brandon, you can get your question. Just follow up. What was going through your mind? Okay, you're on the stage, you're announcing the pick. What was going through your mind? Did you know who Kayvon was before you made the announcement? Did you see before the name? Like, take us through! Let us know!


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[Assistant] What was it like when Kayvon came out there and you guys were just together? What was going through your mind? What were the vibes for you?


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[Assistant] Okay, let's just, let's just start, let's go there. Let's go there. Cave on at five, okay? Somehow, someway, the Giants pulled this off.


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[Assistant] Five, Sam, what, what the heck? What are you thinking when you saw this name come through? Kayvon Tibbitoe, five you were talking about beforehand, you wanted this.


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[Assistant] So, speaking of Evan Neil, you guys get Cave-On-Tibet-O. Some people thought y'all could have drafted Evan Neil where y'all drafted Cave-On-Tibet-O. What do you think about this kid, Sam? Scooter! We got Neil at 7, so it doesn't matter!


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[Assistant] Facts, uh, here, listen, you're doing a great job, actually, Sam, to be honest. For people who don't know who you are and want to follow you,


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[Assistant] And also I will be appearing on your podcast. What's the name of that? Where can they follow you? And let's get one last question in here for Sam.


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[Assistant] Uh, and then, are you guys okay if I just put that in the chat right now? Is everyone okay if I put that? Absolutely.


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[Assistant] Alright, so I'll put that link in the chat for everyone to follow and


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[Assistant] Sam, it has been a pleasure having you on, brother. I'm sure that we'll be in touch and I'll be on your podcast going forward here. But Sam, great job and I'm excited for-


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[Assistant] Absolutely. Can we get some W's for Sam Prince? Prince on the pod. Prince on the pod.


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[Assistant] We're gonna transition now to my experience at the NFL Draft for those unaware, Subway!


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[Assistant] Crucial. So basically Subway hit me up, they're like, Scooter, you wanna go to the draft? And I was like...


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[Assistant] Yes, what the heck? And what they had was, they had like their own booth.


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[Assistant] Okay, at the draft. And you could go to this booth, if you were in Vegas, you could just stop by the booth and just get free subs. They called it the Subway Vault. The whole purpose was, at the Subway Vault, they were unveiling


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[Assistant] New signature subs. They had three athletes. Jordan Davis, Garrett Wilson, Kayvon Thibodeau. These were all subway athletes and all of them were unveiling their own sub.


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[Assistant] Okay, I gotta take this off. But what happened is, is that uhm, they unveiled their picks, and if you came through, you could get tickets to go to the NFL Draft.


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[Assistant] MMG was another one of the creators there. They had this girl called OvertimeMegan also there, big on TikTok. JennaBandy came, uh, a day after.


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[Assistant] Overall, just a very dope experience. Uhm, if we can get, what clips do you have over there, Brandon? Cause we have some clips for you guys to see, not just me talking everything.


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[Assistant] Oh, let's end, let's go, let's end with that one. Oh, he's the finisher, huh? So, 40 yard dash?


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[Assistant] Well, let's do that one towards the end too. Let's start with what I was able to do was I actually interviewed all three of the subway athletes. So, and I asked all of them to the camera, why should


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[Assistant] I am so upset and I'm genuinely upset that Jordan Davis is a Philadelphia Eagle because this was one of the funniest people I have ever met in my life. Do you know when you just meet someone and you fall in love? You vibe.


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[Assistant] The vibes, the love, it's just easy. Like you're just talking to a friend who you've always been friends with, but you just met them?


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[Assistant] Yes, so after this, we went over to the red carpet, okay, so we can play those clips. I was able to see a whole bunch of athletes on the red carpet, so let's play that.


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[Assistant] We can just finish up, we can just finish up all these clips and then we can get into our team greets. But basically, MMG was there, first time meeting MMG. I don't know if any of you guys have had any interaction. MMG is dope. Like he's, he's dope.


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[Assistant] Right, again, same thing like Jordan Davis, just some, some guy.


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[Assistant] The point is I need a rematch. That's the point. And then lastly, we actually got to go like on stage. I got to go in the green room, like behind the scenes and walk through the tunnel where all the players, you know, where all the players pause to like take their photo. So we, this is the last clip. You can run this and then we can get into all the player.


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[Assistant] So this was the dress rehearsal. This is the green room. So day one, this is where all the players were sitting, were right there in the action.


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[Assistant] It's not that close, like it's very far where you have to go actually to get drafted.


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[Assistant] This is where you go, the players would go get their selfie, put the hat on. Why didn't you steal one of those planes?


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[Assistant] Only thing I got from the draft, I got this, right? And then subway also gave me a gift package and it had a Trevor Lawrence sign football. So that's in the background of my videos now.


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[Assistant] Let us know what would be inside of the clickbait witch in the comments right now. But we're going to transition now. We're going to move to our picks.


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[Assistant] Yeah, I was like, I 100% was not supposed to be on the stage during this, I just walked up and I was like, yo, just film me, cause I got a suit on, I look official.


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[Assistant] Yeaah, so I was like, yo, just- I look like I belong. Just roll it, roll it.


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[Assistant] So that's what was happening there. I was just stealing some shots and they were stolen. What the heck?


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[Assistant] Didn't try to go though. I was not like invited or not.


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[Assistant] Not invited. I had to do, like, my subway video. Like, I was under contract.


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[Assistant] But yeah, Gronkh had a party. Uh, I could have potentially gone, but I was like, bro, I have work, I have to finish. This has to come out tomorrow, like.


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[Assistant] Yeah, I was, I was there primarily for work. There were parties, a lot of parties, but honestly,


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[Assistant] Uhm, that the parties, sometimes you're just like...


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[Assistant] But yes, on the last click beat.


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[Assistant] Wasn't it, was it the last one or the one before it was teased that, have I been to a strip club?


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[Assistant] I think that's the most famous person, but I gotta...


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[Assistant] Or who's the most famous person you met? Oh, not Rob Lowe.


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[Assistant] Here's the thing, I don't even know them. They're famous, but they're like Vegas famous and I, I was there for sports.


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[Assistant] I don't know Wayne Newton from anything, you know. I know Kayvon Thibodeau. I know him. Uh, I know, yo, let me see your suit. Uh, bro.


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[Assistant] Okay, any other questions though about my draft experience with Subway Chat? Join in as well before we transition to grading our team's drafts. A lot of ham would be on the clickbait.


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[Assistant] Any other questions? Any other questions? Going twice. Questions for the draft.


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[Assistant] Okay, we're gonna transition now to grading our individual team's drafts.


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[Assistant] We will begin with the Packers, Tom Grossi. Grade your draft. What are we thinking? Do you like it? Do you hate it? What are the vibes?


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[Assistant] What was your person? The player, the Rams were talking about. That was a Patriots


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[Assistant] What do you guys think about what the Packers did? Are you aware of the Packers drop?


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[Assistant] So, here's a question. Was there any receiver that you would have rather have had where you were picking? So, maybe you guys trade back? Oh, where we were?


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[Assistant] And then going forward, is there any player and free agency that you think, yo, we just get this guy free agency. We'll be good. We are, we got everything we need. That's it. Packers.


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[Assistant] And we'll see, like, the thing is too, there are gonna be a lot of players who get cut, uh, who do get injured, who end up off the teams before the season starts. Let's transition to the Steelers draft, okay? We got small hands, picket coming through.


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[Assistant] So you get the hometown hero, you got Kenny Pickett, right? He goes to pit. Now he's on the Steelers, but.


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[Assistant] Here's a question for you. You said earlier, Hey, I would have been fine with Malik Willis or Kenny Pickett.


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[Assistant] Would you have, knowing what you know now, would you have preferred to spend that first on something else and pick up Malik in the third?


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[Assistant] What are we giving the Steelers? If you had to rank a Steelers draft, what are you giving this? I give it an A. I thought it was a solid draft.


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[Assistant] Very high risk, very high risk, but the rewards can be great if it pans out.


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[Assistant] So why don't we just go ahead and let's just talk about the Giants. Let's just get this over with. Okay, Five, what do you- Oh lord, here comes the victory parade. What are you feeling about this draft?


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[Assistant] I'm looking at Wondell Robinson. I see Wondell Robinson, I see this pick, and I'm looking at a Kadaria's Tony replacement, uhm, potentially.


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[Assistant] He just doesn't like it there. I'm not sure. He's not being used properly. I understand.


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[Assistant] Kayvon Thibodeau in his press conference. Did you guys hear what this man said?


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[Assistant] So, in his press conference, this dude says, some, some dude comes up to me and introduces himself, and he says, ah, hey, my name's Daniel, nice to meet you. I said,


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[Assistant] Daniel Jones? He said he basically was making fun of Daniel Jones in his press conference. Basically saying he just looked like some average dude. He said, no, you can't be Daniel. Oh yeah, that show's hilarious.


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[Assistant] But it wasn't even just Daniel Jones, who was very unimpressive to cave on. Saquon Barkley, also very unimpressive to cave on. With those quads for days? Come on, man.


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[Assistant] All in all though, what are we given that draft five? What do you think?


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[Assistant] Oh yea, you said that already. I mean, honestly, you could have just stopped with your first two picks and you could have gotten an A.


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[Assistant] Like yeaah, if no one makes, if only Kayvon Thibodeau and Evan Neil make your team, your guys will, great draft. Crucial three year letterman.


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[Assistant] Take us through, take us through. Who did you draft and how are you feeling about it?


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[Assistant] Surprise you, you're like, huh? Really? Tied in?


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[Assistant] Okay chat, make a pick a letter grade for the Broncos draft. This brings us...


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[Assistant] Once again, somehow someway, the Dallas Cowboys board has been leaked.


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[Assistant] He was coming up on a lot of Cowboys draft boards, literally like the day before, the week before. I had not seen this man mocked in any mock drafts to the Cowboys until the week of the draft. Takua out of Tulsa, okay?


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[Assistant] A lot of the reddit, okay, I'm in the reddits, a lot of the reddits did not want this man. Where we are now, collectively,


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[Assistant] We're at the wait and see approach. Okay.


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[Assistant] Wait and see. Okay. We are actually gonna wait and see approach because we don't know. We don't know that much about him.


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[Assistant] What we do know is that he was one of the most penalized, I'm sorry, he was the most penalized player in all of college football. He will be joining a Dallas Cowboys offensive line that is one of the most penalized in the NFL football.


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[Assistant] Let's see how that plays out. That's one of Mike McCarthy's type of guys. In the second though. I like what we did in the second. But let's go back. A lot of people were upset we took this man because we felt like we could get him in the second or even third, potentially.


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[Assistant] Uh, and a lot of people were also mad because Jermaine Johnson fell to the Cowboys and we thought you were gonna get the Randy Gregory replacement right there. He's right there, but we didn't. We, we went, we went a different way.


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[Assistant] Second round, we pick up Sam Williams. Yes, five. What's that?


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[Assistant] Second round, we end up with Sam Williams defensive end out of Mississippi. This dude had a lot of sacks. He actually had more sacks than Aiden Hutchinson.


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[Assistant] Uh, what ended up happening, and I haven't read all into this case, but there was an off-the-field incident which bumped this man down. I can't speak on it because I haven't read or anything on it.


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[Assistant] I like the fact that this man gives people second chances, okay?


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[Assistant] But we get Sam ones in the second, then we get Jalen Tolbert in the third. This guy is a bona fide X receiver, but we can put him wherever he can win balls. Michael Gallup, pause on that. Michael Gallup is not going to be back.


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[Assistant] By the start of the season. So we're going to need someone to fill in. Jalen Tolbert could be the guy.


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[Assistant] But I also think we're sleeping on people like SemiFahoko. This is a practice squad receiver who a lot of people don't even know about, haven't heard Dude64. Uh, so I'm excited for that.


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[Assistant] And some of the later rounds we pick up some linebackers, some quarterbacks. We'll see who makes it past, uh, the practice squad. But all in all.


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[Assistant] I just feel like we could have gotten more value in our picks. I mean, I feel like we could have traded back and still picked up this dude. So it's not that I don't like that we selected him because this guy could end up being the next Tyron Smith. We really don't know. Everyone's just guessing, but it's just.


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[Assistant] We could have got this dude and traded back and picked up some other people. That's, that's all. So because of that, we're going C. Average. We could have picked up some more draft capital.


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[Assistant] Yes, and he has, he has the fundamentals, he has the strength, like everything is there. It's just, can he have the technique? Is he going to be the next Connor Williams holding ten times a game? We don't know. We're gonna have to wait.


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[Assistant] How do I feel about the Eagles draft? The Eagles did


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[Assistant] If your quarterback is Carson Wentz, it does not matter. Get Evan Neil! Get Kavon Thibodeau! Who's throwing the ball? Who's throwing the ball? Y'all need a quarterback.


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[Assistant] Bro, I actually think it is, it was dumb that they traded for AJ Brown because now you have to pay this man all this money. You could have drafted a receiver who could be as good or


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[Assistant] I don't know, I don't know. I, I, just locking up money for a long period of time never, never plays out well.


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[Assistant] That's what I'm saying, like, I feel like the Eagles could have done something like that, like the Ravens did.


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[Assistant] This is simple. Alright, can we do the countdown? Enable! You're just jealous.


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[Assistant] Tree, what'd you say? 3698. 7288. Is this the lowest? Oh, this has got to be great.


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[Assistant] I still have to dress up as in an eagle's gosh darn.


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[Assistant] What are we gonna do as a punishment for Tom Grosse this week?


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[Assistant] Guys, this was Clickbait Sports. We will be back next Thursday, same time, 5pm Eastern. Oh, I won't.


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[Assistant] One more thing I do want to say. Kayvon Thibodeau's handshake game. How impressed were you with it?


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[Assistant] I mean, uh, do you think you, uh, are like Taequann Thornton and you think you need a different measurement?


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[Assistant] Christian Watson was the guy I really wanted on the Steelers, so I think he'll do really well. He's more, he's raw, but I think he could thrive in the right system. I thought the Steelers would have been able to really build him, but I think the Packers can do the same thing.


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[Assistant] I don't have an issue with Devonte Walker because I feel like you do need a 3Tech to go along with Kenny Clark.


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[Assistant] I mean, that's why Jordan Addison's getting tampered with by Lincoln Riley in USC. So I have to say that, you know what? I was either on the Kenny Pickett or the Malik Willis bandwagon. So either or I would have been happy with. So Kenny Pickett, the pit fan in me is just over the moon.


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[Assistant] second and third round pick are more like high risks. George Pickens is the kind of dude who is going to be a stud for the Steelers, but he might run himself out of town in five years because you know, the character issues that keep coming into play. But I mean,


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[Assistant] I think you should be really good. Like most Steelers second round wide receivers and third round wide receivers become like all pros because it's the law and they know how to develop wide receivers. Third round pick I really loved, DeMarvin Leal, the defensive tackle defensive end out of Texas A&M. He was a guy who I kind of wanted in the first round a couple months ago when they were doing


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[Assistant] So for him to fall to the the Steelers needs on the and even the exterior of


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[Assistant] Not to mention we also got Cam Heywood's brother. We're going to play him as a tight end. So you know what? Let's fucking go.


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[Assistant] Pick it, easily pick it. Peterman was solid, but pick it like he led them to an ACC championship. You can argue the ACC was weak, but still man, you beat Clemson, you beat a strong Wake Forest team. You beat a couple other schools as well. North Carolina is our kryptonite. I mean, we somehow didn't choke against them. So you know what?


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[Assistant] It depends if Pickett would have fallen too because once again, you would have had to change your entire draft board. You couldn't have gone wide receiver would have been a reach. Your pick would have probably been maybe a Tyler Linderbaum. Like I would have, I would have loved him to be honest with you, but I feel like they had more pressing issues.


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[Assistant] Wide receiver, who do you pick? Uh, do you trade back? That's the only thing I can think of. And then maybe add like a leg, another third round pick to see if you can get a quarterback like a Corral or a Kenny Pickett or a Malik Willis. Cause I mean, you, at the time you picked him, you couldn't have predicted that no quarterback would have gone until late in the third round. Like that was impossible.


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[Assistant] Like most teams were like either didn't really need and of having a pressing need for quarterback or they wanted to focus on other positions.


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[Assistant] I'm still like, I'm still calling him one Darius Tony. I'm sorry.


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[Assistant] Tell you what, the Dallas Cowboys and character concerns, Jerry Jones does not care unless a man can play football. So you know what? That is a perfect Dallas Cowboy pick.


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[Assistant] Oh yeaah, yeaah. I don't mean to, but you can't untame the beast. You cannot tame the beast.


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[Assistant] I'm working on my AB punishment. It should be ready by next week.


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[Assistant] If the Bucks lose this series, I think you should do a tribute video to the Boston Celtics.


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[Assistant] Actually, or you can do a viking's, uh, custom jersey, the purple incarnation of Satan.


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[Assistant] And you're also gonna lose again, so have fun with that. What time is that happening?


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[Assistant] Everybody I know gambles responsibly.


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[Assistant] Uh, hey, check that out. Oh, hello. Hello DraftKings Sportsbook. I have been punished.


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[Assistant] Uh, like, getting this old raiders jacket was no easy task and I thought I got ripped off by a, a, the company I bought it from. Because I purchased it.


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[Assistant] And I believe it, it was a three-figure purchase, so money poorly spent.


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[Assistant] Uh, and then, you know when you buy something, you get a confirmation email? Never got one.


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[Assistant] Kind of forgot about it and was like, oh, I wonder if that jacket's ever coming.


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[Assistant] There's a support thing. I kept the, cause I felt like the website was sketchy, so I kept the website tab open for a couple of weeks.


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[Assistant] I went to their, like, uh, support, and it's like, oh, you can send an email, so I send the email, and first of all, it wouldn't go through.


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[Assistant] Uh, I had to go back to the site, submitted it again, and then I got the, this site doesn't exist email feedback from my email account. I was like, oh shit, I lost, you know, I lost some money trying to get that jacket. And then magically one day a package from China shows up, and I got this.


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[Assistant] Old school, legit Raiders jacket. I may give it away one day.


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[Assistant] But now you know. Now these glasses I got on Amazon for like 10 bucks.


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[Assistant] No, you know it's weird, like as much as I want to hate on the Raiders and as much as like Al Davis turned into this like senile, crazy, dumb owner.


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[Assistant] All the stuff he did for the NFL early on in his career is like really important. So he's like, uh, it's, he's got like two stories of his, his lifetime. So I'll show, I'll show the dead man some respect.


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[Assistant] Oh, I don't know if you saw, my team was on Monday Night Football.


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[Assistant] Regular season, monday night game since like 2006, so no big deal.


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[Assistant] They did everything correctly. Uh, they did not fumble at the goal line twice. They did not get penalized 12 times for over 100 yards. Uh, and they certainly did not waste any


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[Assistant] I felt what I was taking advantage of. I was in a desperate situation.


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[Assistant] So guess what, I'm not, I as a fan cannot help with my karma. Do not test the football gods.


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[Assistant] Yeah, and I think, uh, you know, the Falcons got a good half of football out of Marcus Mariota and that might be all you can expect.


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[Assistant] On a week to week basis, a half of, a half of good football.


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[Assistant] We don't need to say fuck to every single time. It's gonna lose its potency. Second, let's maybe each one of us pick a team to add to this so it's just not you telling us what all the teams that you think are...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, I think the whole reason, uh, we titled the video this way is because a team with high expectations week one lost their quarterback Dak Prescott to a


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[Assistant] Fractured, uhm, as he was, uh, booed out of his own stadium for being hurt.


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[Assistant] They gotta go with Koopa Rush for a month. They were struggling with Dak.


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[Assistant] So I'll start with Dallas. That was the easy one. I think that was the angle we got here.


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[Assistant] Baker Mayfield is me every week for YouTube. I'm like, this week?


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[Assistant] I'm gonna buckle down, I'm gonna go out there and give it my all, and we're going to win.


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[Assistant] And I perform exactly the same way, which is barely, maybe average a lot of the times below. Uh, but every once in a now, every once in a while, like Baker, I will, I will do above average, but.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, okay, I'm gonna go Cincinnati Bengals, 100% not screwed, even though they looked like one of the worst offenses you could, you could draw up, uh, week one.


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[Assistant] Just everything went wrong for them and somehow they should have won in overtime, but even that couldn't go right. And what's crazy about that game is didn't Chase McLaughlin make like a 57 or 8 yard field goal in that game before he shanked like the chip shot.


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[Assistant] Yeah, the snap was bad, but like, it was just cra- that game was just, trees right, it was the drunkest game. It was very drunk.


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[Assistant] I'm gonna, if you're married, it's you next. Sorry, five scooters not gonna fuck you.


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[Assistant] Alright, uh, Tom. Tom Grassi. I'm gonna say that.


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[Assistant] Uuuh, tough, tough decisions here.


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[Assistant] Brandon, do you know what's not a tough decision? Yo, is it?


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[Assistant] Our friends over at... DraftKings?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You just won your Super Bowl week one, Seattle. Congratulations. Now, I know you're optimistic going forward and you should be. Ride the high. Stay on that high as long as you can because it's going to come crumbling down after your, during your next game.


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[Assistant] Geno Smith looked great for one half, and then in the second half he went on to throw 31 yards of passing balls. 31 total yards! Your offense got 44 total yards in the second half.


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[Assistant] Uh, once the Broncos defense, uh, kind of learned to communicate and not every team is going to fumble the game away and allow you to win. So I foresee this knock.


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[Assistant] Finishing at the bottom of the NFC West, and it's not just a bitter take.


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[Assistant] It's not just because I've been taking your shit all week on social media, it's because I saw a bad football team, and that's what really stings, is watching a bad football team beat your team, even though you're not sure what your team is yet, but you know you're better than this.


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[Assistant] But, so are these Saints and Vikings not screwed or screwed?


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[Assistant] If the bills are screwed, it's because Josh Allen started a coffee brand and it is not Bench Warmer Brew.


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[Assistant] I'm just saying too soon to tell because they played in a monsoon. Nuh-uh, no.


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[Assistant] Detroit Lions for the first time in 10 years, not screwed.


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[Assistant] And I should note, I'm the biggest Raiders fan on earth.


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[Assistant] So I'm only going to talk about Truth. Uh, they have the worst offensive line in the AFC West for sure. Uh, they got...


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[Assistant] Zero? Sax on Justin Herbert?


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[Assistant] Zero sacks between Max Crosby and Chandler Jones. Their defense is still a liability.


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[Assistant] Like, Devante Adams, he's gonna torch people all year, but I don't think that's gonna be enough. And by screwed, I mean, you know, they could be a 500 team and that will be...


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[Assistant] So, I'm gonna leave it to Adam and Tree to make the final decision on the Raiders. Screwed or not screwed.


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[Assistant] Yeah, that division is so up for grabs too, like the Jags could win that division and I won't be single winning.


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[Assistant] Here's a question, I asked Tom this on GPS, uh, was it just me or did Tom Brady not look that great in that game?


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[Assistant] Oh, you said one? Who did you say? I just did the Steelers and caused that rage.


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[Assistant] And that leaves us with the Cleveland Browns, the least controversial team in the league.


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[Assistant] Kobe's serviceable, their defense looks pretty good, but it just doesn't feel sustainable in that division.


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[Assistant] Uh, I do not want them to win. I will be rooting for the Chargers. It's gonna be fun to watch Herbie in my homes go at it, but, uh, man.


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[Assistant] It's, like, these games, they always feel like it's gonna be a high-scoring thing, and then you put it in Thursday Night Football, the short week makes it weird, doesn't live up to the hype, but I feel like we're gonna see a ton of passing touchdowns in this game.


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[Assistant] And then the Chiefs will probably, you know, two of Mahomes touchdowns will be shovel passes that count as, you know, regular touchdown passes. And the Chiefs will win by a touchdown because...


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[Assistant] That's just how it goes. Prove me wrong, chargers. Prove me wrong.


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[Assistant] It's a Viking ritual where they, uh, after they find you guilty of something, they rip open your back and flay you open like an eagle and pull out like your spine or something. I forget, I watched it on Viking. It's disturbing.


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[Assistant] Yes. Works. I'll allow it. I like that.


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[Assistant] I don't think we should do that. No, I'm just kidding. Alright, I'm just here so I won't get fined. Why don't we start with uhm, Tom then?


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[Assistant] Not only did you lo- lose in the, uh...


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[Assistant] And the thing, your team lost. I'm very aware. Double, double punishment.


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[Assistant] Yeah, I have no idea to tell who wins, but whoever gets the most donations gets punished the hardest this time.


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[Assistant] I have to think of something to punishment. Uh, Brandon stole my idea. I am also donating to the Alzheimer's Association. I've raised five dollars so far. Me too. Ten bucks. Uhm, Tree, who are you raising money for?


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[Assistant] I think I'm gonna see you at a punk rock show later, trying to, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes, you're gonna have to do something else. Speaking of punishments, we do have later in the show, Scooter Magruder's punishment, Terrell Owens, finally got his cameo in, and I hear it's very good, and I hear that it's lengthy.


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[Assistant] That's what your money buys. And in case of today, this is, it buys a lot of charity and a lot of feel good feelings for other people that deserve it. So what I think, what I thought was we don't have an actual agenda today because none of us wanted to actually prepare for this show. Do we have more?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh yea, that's right, because really Aaron Rodgers Toe has no agenda, so we don't need one either. Uhm, what I was thinking was we could go around and just say a couple things that we're thankful for before we start the show and start arguing about, you know, why the Giants are in a better situation. Am I in freakin' high school?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What? You don't, you don't want to do show and tell right now? I'll start five.


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[Assistant] It's called a hair dye. It doesn't come, it doesn't wash out. I just want to let you know that. It just, it dyes your hair.


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[Assistant] I'm thankful that Jason Garrett is no longer-


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[Assistant] Wapping garbage for hotter, steaming garbage is always a strong move. No, actually, I'm actually thankful for that.


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[Assistant] My real answer is I'm thankful for the New York Rangers because they're helping me forget that the New York Giants exists. And uh, gonna be doing that. Daniel Jones not gonna be under center in two years in New York. So they'll probably let him play his fifth year.


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[Assistant] Uh, nec- or his fourth year next year and then decline as option. It's pretty ugly. You know, that, uh, in three years he has a winning percentage of 330?


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[Assistant] Back when Jerry Lewis, remember the Jerry Lewis telethon, when he would just answer the phone and just be like, Hey, I'm Jerry Lewis. I'm raising money for charity.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The Jerry Lewis boxing scene, one of the funniest scenes of all time where he's dancing around in the ring. That's too, uh,


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[Assistant] Too esoteric for you young kids. Brandon, what are you thankful for?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah, who knew that the Kansas City defense would be their strongest asset right now? Steve Spagnullo is dialing up blitzes. I thought the DAC did not play well.


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[Assistant] Uhm, and you know, most quarterbacks do not like pressure, but I thought that Dak was not hitting his safety valves, his check downs. Uhm, I was surprised that they abandoned the run so quickly and missing CD Lamb when he hit his head on the back of the end zone was not a good look.


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[Assistant] Uh, that's a, that's a big puzzle piece to be missing. You also missed, uh, what is it? Mari Cooper wasn't out there either.


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[Assistant] So you were down to, so it was a pretty deceptive loss, like yeah, I don't think that the Cowboys were completely healthy. My big thing was that it was their third loss and you had to order a Ryan Fitzpatrick jersey, so all the pressure's off.


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[Assistant] There's only a couple quarter- Pat Mahomes can do alright without a- Aaron Rodgers.


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[Assistant] We, we can name players all day and, and do this. What I want to know is, I bet the Packers 1 minus 1.5 and you, and they lost, okay? They lost me money. So now it's personal, Tom. I wanted to get up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yep, and you're gonna let them back into the playoffs. And as I said last night on, on our, on Tree and I stream, Kirk Cousins is the definition of a C student, right? He just does the minimum.


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[Assistant] And gets his C and every year he's like, all right, we got, we made the playoffs. So I'm worth all this money that you gave me. So, uh, don't, don't, uh, act like I'm any good. And then I'll lose on any, anytime that the snap first snaps comes after 8 PM, I'll lose that game, but I will get you there. I'm Kirk Cousins.


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[Assistant] Anyways, explain why your team lost, Tom, and why


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[Assistant] Uhm, why you're letting the Vikings do that to you?


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[Assistant] Yes, and I'm not going to tell you who I voted, or who I voted for, who I bet on until after because I made a risky bet. Thank you Holly Winchell, by the way, for $499 donated. That's Holly Hunter.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I wanna talk about this Giants game. I wanna look at the camera when I'm talking. I wanna look at your souls out there in the audience when I talk about this Giants game right now.


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[Assistant] Listen, let's put it bluntly, the giants suck. They're terrible.


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[Assistant] And they weren't even, the worst part about the game was they weren't even competitive. There was one point, I think it was tied at 10, it felt like they were going to lose from the opening drive.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] To the last play of the game. They played soft zone the whole time. Didn't generate a lick of pressure on Tom Brady. The only way to beat Tom Brady is to hit him in the face. Or he'll just pick you apart. Which is what he did on the way to a 30 point, uh, 30 to 10 win.


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[Assistant] And on the other side of the ball, the offense, yeah, you can blame Jason Garrett. I don't think he's a terrible coach. I don't think he was the right coach. He should have never been there. They tried things. They tried to get creative. They tried different formations, pistol formation.


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[Assistant] Uh, three in the backfield. Uh, they tried read options with Daniel Jones, use his athleticism. The bottom line is the team is not executing and it's because of the guy behind center, Daniel Jones, in his third year now with a 330 winning percentage.


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[Assistant] The only quarterback that I can ever think of that has endured a situation like that was Alex Smith, who actually showed a lot of potential in those first three years, uh, when Alex Smith, did I say Axel Smith? Alex Smith. But he was a number one overall pick. Daniel Jones was a reach at six. Okay. I remember, I laughed hysterically.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In two years in New York, he will unfortunately go the way of Sam Donald. We're going to have to start over. Dave Gettleman is getting fired. We know that much.


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[Assistant] Uhm, Jason Garrett got fired after the game, which, I'm sorry, uh, he should have been the head coach, honestly, instead of Joe Judge. I think the Giants, if, if, if Jason Garrett's the head coach, and not Joe Judge, the Giants probably have double the amount of wins that they have right now, over this two year period.


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[Assistant] Jason Garrett is good at delegating. He's not actually talented as a coach. He's just good at saying, hey, you do that and I, and we'll, and we'll, I'll encourage you onto it. This team, the Giants started the year in a playoff or bust situation and they're even further behind than they started.


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[Assistant] The only thing that's gonna save them is two top ten draft picks, and if Dave Gettleman is there to pick them, it's gonna be blown like the coverage that they played all night on Monday. Here's the thing though, you're trashing Gettleman.


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[Assistant] All right, Ken Flower for four years, what? 22 million, some ridiculous amount. I don't know anything about that. Do you know who has more touchdowns than both of those guys combined? Andrew Thomas. Left tackle named Andrew Thomas.


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[Assistant] Kaderius Tony, it was the, like his throwdown field, that dude has a cannon. He should be started. Just put Kaderius Tony out.


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[Assistant] I'm just saying the Giants are in disarray and I'm gonna cry till the rest of the season. I just wanted them to be competitive with, uh, with the, uhm,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] With the, with the, with the Buccaneers and they weren't. Because here's the thing, that's not crazy to assume that they should be competitive. The football team beat the Buccaneers.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay. They also have one of the best defenses in the league though too, so. Not, well maybe last week, not the, for the first 10 weeks of the season. Washington's defense has been terrible. Bottom 30, bottom 30 defense, like they were ranked at one time in the, uh, in the bottom 25. You know what else?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And we've got a lot of other people. I wish it would show you the name.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Speaking of jailbait, scooter in a blonde wig definitely looked like jailbait.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Say that. Oh, one thing I want to mention before, uh, I just donated 20 to my own charity and it was really easy. All you gotta do is click the button and then you do just one thing and it's good to go. So if you're out there,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The Raiders are a dumpster fire, like you ever like,


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[Assistant] I don't think that's ever happened, but he can play against his ex-team. I thought he was, I thought he was in the COVID protocol. He's actually injured. Uh, I, again, I gotta look at the, I gotta


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes, yeah, that's, Ryan McDonald is confirming that. He says, or no, no, uh, kdude25. That's, see, my instinct was correct, that he has the vidian.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And he could come back, possibly, which my money would like, but again, my heart would not, because I don't like seeing the Cowboys win. Let's talk about the, probably the worst game in the NFL that we're going to watch all year, which is the Detroit Lions versus whoever. I don't even know. The Chicago Bears.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, you wouldn't want to wager on that. I think Dan Campbell would bite.


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[Assistant] Yeah, it was unwarranted like most vehicle searches. It was just completely uncalled for.


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[Assistant] I also did see Jared Cook catch on the side.


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[Assistant] Someone's gotta get punished and his name is Tom Grosse. Every time I look at his smug face, I'm just like, he needs to be punished. Him and his purple tits. I got $807.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes, tax deductible these donations are. Save your receipts, kids.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So we have to think of a punishment for Brandon to hit that when he hits that 28k goal, which is shave the beard. Shave the beard, I'll do it for 20k.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think since this is a charity episode, yeaah, the loser should get to pick his own punishment. That should be it. And so getting drunk on air is your solution there.


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[Assistant] I'm not a big cherry pie guy. I like the pumpkin pie. Screw you. I love cherry pie.


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[Assistant] Guys, I don't have time for that speculation. I mean, that's a joke to me.


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[Assistant] Uhm, I got one of the best jobs in all of professional sport. Why would I have any interest in coaching college football? Uhm, that would be the last time that I address it. And not only today, but moving forward. Never say never, but never. Okay?


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[Assistant] If I use my whatever this is and my cash in of a favor was to get an early screener of this god forsaken movie, then no. Just no.


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[Assistant] So, back in December, it was either I go to the movie theater and risk getting COVID, which hindsight I should've.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] To watch the Kurt Warner movie, because then at least I could have died and not have to watch this movie. Uh, there's a movie that's out on Netflix, you've seen the trailers for it. Uh, Kevin James movie, uh, titled Home Team, in which Kevin James plays Sean Payton.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I watched that entire thing in an attempt at comedy. And unfortunately, yep, unfortunately, I did a video essay about it.


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[Assistant] And it's over five minutes long and I couldn't condense it any further than that.


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[Assistant] So, you're gonna have my voice over here with a number of stills from the...


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[Assistant] With that being said, here is the 5 minute and 40 second video review of this godforsaken movie. Home Team, the wonderful film.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Based off of Sean Payton's time as a...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] High school football coach, starring Kevin James.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is quite the film, and you know you're in for a treat as soon as the movie starts as you see actual Super Bowl footage including Peyton Manning throwing an interception


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And instead of it being Sean Payton, it has just been subbed in for Kevin James. Now of course this movie is going to take a turn and going from the highs of the Super Bowl to the lows of the suspension of Sean Payton during Bounty Gate.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In which he has an assistant who haha because she's a woman doesn't understand football. They play that for


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No laughs. Sean Payton heads to Texas to watch his high school son play the football.


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[Assistant] And we're introduced to the team, but not before Sean Payton checks in as a hotel and he starts the amazing feud with the desk clerk there. And there's a really funny line where he asked if there's rooms and the desk guy is like, oh, there's only a presidential suite.


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[Assistant] And Sean Payton's like, okay, that's fine. And he's like, oh, but it's $125 a night. And Sean Payton's like, yeah, that's still fine because ho ho wow.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Big city money coming to a small town. Now before I get into the actual football here, I have to say the feud between Kevin James, I'm sorry, Sean Payton and the desk clerk is just so amazing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's a jacuzzi that keeps on making noise throughout the night and Kevin James has to call the desk clerk and is like, ah, this noise is bad. And the desk clerk's like, some guests find it soothing. Haha, funny jokes. And there's another time,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Where there's a lot of noise that's coming from another room and the desk clerk goes, Oh, that's the royal suite. If you don't like that, I could bring a fan up to disguise the noise.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And of course this all ends with the desk clerk showing his wife giving birth, uh, to Sean Payton and shows the picture mid-birth. This is the kind of comedy that we're working with here.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Now don't think the laughs stop it there because Sean Payton heads to this small high school and we meet the coach of the team and of course that's played by that guy who was in the Twilight movies and he does keep his shirt on which was a bit surprising.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And of course you have an assistant coach and how we're introduced to him is his neighbor died and he stole his bicycle. Sean Payton's over in the stands and who does he see? Up his ex-wife. However, who's his ex-wife canoodling with?


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[Assistant] Her brand new husband played by Rob Schneider. And they're in a snuggie! And the snuggie is so warm, it's melting the chocolate in their trail mix. These are actual jokes and scenes from this movie. Why, God, why did you make me watch it?


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[Assistant] Well, it turns out the high school team is downright awful, so much so that their scoreboard's not even on, cause they haven't scored a frickin frackin touchdown all year. This all changes though, once Sean Payton starts to get involved, and oh no, what happens?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They score a touchdown and of course it's Sean Payton's son. He runs back a defensive fumble. They celebrate like they won the game even though they lost like 38-6. And that's when things start to turn around. However...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And Kevin James slash Sean Payton's like, no, let's not do that. They run a play and the kid starts projectile vomiting on all of the opposing players. Ha ha ha ha ha. But the kids are so grossed out that they don't realize


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Warriors, which is the team, sorry I didn't mention that before, that Sean Payton is coaching, they run it in for a touchdown and they win, and everyone starts vomiting.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Which is what I wanted to do after watching this movie. As we reach the climax of the film, it's the porcupines versus the warriors and...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Made a single kick all season, he's like, it's the final game everybody plays. And they send the little small child in who then kicks the field goal, except it goes wide right, misses completely, and makes the scoreboard explode, and all the


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Players start chanting and they're so happy and celebrating cause that scoreboard, ah, it was so bad when they sucked. They, they still lost the championship game, but this is-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This means something. Oh yeah, and by the way, Sean Payton also reconciles with his estranged son. I don't really care about that though. Oh, and I almost forgot, Bill Cowers in this movie for like two minutes because he's running plays with Sean Payton on how to make this high school team better. Good god, this movie sucked. The movie concludes with the best possible outcome, Sean Payton returning to his office.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Greeting his assistant who's like, wow, you're a lot more patient now after you spent a year coaching those kids. And she's, he's like, ha ha ha, don't get used to it. Ha ha. Women in sports.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And that's how the story ends. This movie, if I had to give it a ranking, I would rather get a colonoscopy out of ten.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, cause one, it's shorter, this was an hour and a half, and I sat there and I'm watching, I'm taking like notes into it, I'm like alright, I gotta make sure to mention that, and then I finished and I was like, the best part was like the mop on Sean Payton's head. That was the best part about the entire movie.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The- the desk clerk literally shows Sean Payton his wife giving birth, mid-birth. And he's like, I don't think your wife would appreciate that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I actually walked out of one movie ever, like in my entire, I've seen a lot of movies, but I forget, it was like a sport, I mentioned it before, it was like a sports spoof movie, like in the time, like years ago, where like everything was a spoof. And it was so bad, I don't remember what it was called though. I'd have to look it up again.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know who I'd like to win it if the Rams win? Uh huh.


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[Assistant] Tom? I concur. Yeah, I think it's mixing just cause it's a little bit more of a running back by committee for the Rams.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think you get that little pressure on there and considering, you know, Joe Burrow was pretty well protected and also the Bengals got after Pat Mahomes, but I think, uh, I think Joe Burrow might get hit a couple of times. You never know if that ball squirts out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I am probably going to go with a random TikToker who I don't even know who they are. So the name is unknown because I don't know who they are. So some random TikToker who has never watched football before, but they're just like, Hey, I got tickets. I've decreased their under $4,000 now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If they win, if the Bengals win, I want hologram Harambe to literally come out and like accept the Lombardi Trophy. I don't care what you have to do to do it. Just make it do it. Just be like, this one's for Harambe and he hands it off and he just ascends into the heavens.


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[Assistant] Well wait, if you wanna bet on how good the halftime show is gonna be,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I already saw, I think it was GM, they came out, like they got, like the whole Austin Powers cast, like they had Dr. Evil in there, they had Scott, they had number two, like it was, I saw it today, it was actually really funny. And maybe just because I like Austin Powers.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Remember what the Bucks did to the Lakers? That was fun.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They got a couple second round picks too and some money.


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[Assistant] The people that he put it in with it too, and he's like, my grandfather, you know, I just want one more conversation. Oh, and I also sit down with Adolf because, you know, we can talk about like military strategy. Out of all the people in the entire history, that's the guy.


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[Assistant] It's Michael Jackson, Hitler, and this guy's random grandfather. Grandpa was like, uhm, who did you request?


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[Assistant] So even though Scutum Grutter just got done playing Madden with one Najee Harris, he has fulfilled one of his punishments. And I will be playing it for you. Right now?


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[Assistant] It was just missing the SCOOTY SCOOT SCOOT!


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[Assistant] I want the bangles to win with all my heart. I want the kitty to go meow. Uhm, and if they do win, I think it's by a field goal. Uh, but I do think the rams are going to win by, uh, I'd say like 10.


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[Assistant] I will also take dressed as a cat, like in a furry suit with your face painted like a kitty. That, that also, that has some potential there.


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[Assistant] Tonight, in just a little bit, I'll have a Raiders reaction video coming out. Uh, Perna and I will be streaming a good ol' Super Bowl stream, of course, so we'll be raiding each other all night. And on Saturday, of course, I'll be bringing back, uh, NFL Bedtime Stories recapping this past season, so.


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[Assistant] How do you make it public on scooters? Do you know how to do that? I didn't put him on today because...


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[Assistant] Hey guys, we did a Twitter space and we're killing it! Welcome to the Clickbait Sports Twitter space and Clickbait Sports streaming on four different YouTube channels. I don't know what's happening. Do you think we're trying to do too much at once? Yeah. Yes. Fuck yeah we are.


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[Assistant] Yeah, I invited Tree to speak too. My sister's listening.


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[Assistant] There are 56 to 1 odds for the Super Bowl. You can bet just $5.


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[Assistant] Uh, clickbait. Ooh, there it is. Clickbait. Sports, right in the middle of our screen.


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[Assistant] Or Draft Kings. And if you want to bet on the Super Bowl, you better do it now. Because...


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[Assistant] I believe the odds are. You're getting Jimmy G. Steelers are getting Jimmy G. Broncos are getting Aaron Rodgers. Broncos will also get Russell Wilson just for safety. And also whoever I dream about.


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[Assistant] This, this was the funniest tweet I saw about the, uh, the new commander's logo. Yeah, they're about as, um,


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[Assistant] Sitting between three, uh, ve-vanilla men is, uh, that, that gave me a legitimate laugh when I, uh, read it. They were the bullets before that.


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[Assistant] My, here's my question. What was that helicopter doing?


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[Assistant] Were they flying around the stadium looking for the thing or was like something else happening and somebody's like, Oh, I think I see a commander's, I see a commander's logo. Can we get a zoom in on that Ken? Ken, we need to zoom in on that commander's logo. And then they spoiled it for everyone.


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[Assistant] Are those Teslas? Are those the cheap Teslas?


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[Assistant] Why hasn't, why didn't they like think outside the box is my whole issue with it?


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[Assistant] That sticks. Like the- Like barracudas?


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[Assistant] The murderous unicorns. Like, give me a logo for a murdery unicorn.


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[Assistant] Boom. And it's just like bonk, a unicorn and his horn. And then there's like a guy in a football uniform just speared through his chest, dead on the unicorn. I'd buy that. I'd buy that hat.


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[Assistant] It's like a bloody, like really graphic image, but it's set behind like a mist- or in front of a mystical rainbow. So it's still a little bit cute.


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[Assistant] Yeah, it's about getting more younger coaches involved earlier in the NFL is one big thing. And I think like what, like the intentions of what Brian Flores' lawsuit wants to accomplish are good.


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[Assistant] But I think your lawsuit has to be perfect for that to have a chance to working. And if the Denver Broncos are able to prove everything that they're claiming right now, then there's already reason to not trust Brian Flores' opinion about this situation.


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[Assistant] Because they can prove that John Elway was flying into wherever they had to interview at 3am just to get into the interview window, uh, which is...


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[Assistant] His reasoning for looking, uh, disheveled and showing up, you know, to the interview in a way that Brian Flores perceived as being not respectful and that they can prove that Joe Ellis wasn't


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[Assistant] Before you paint that picture, you have to make sure like that aspect of it is bulletproof because it does disservice to the rest of your claims that are


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[Assistant] The Broncos media circle, it was clear that the Broncos had


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[Assistant] Favourites of who they were gonna hire in all of their coaching cycles. Like we knew Vance Joseph was the guy before he was actually named the guy.


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[Assistant] We knew Mike Munchack wasn't going to get the head coaching job, but that Munchack wanted to come to Denver because his daughter lived here.


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[Assistant] So they kind of maybe killed two birds with one stone by doing that interview and then saying, Hey, like we're not going to make you head coach, but you want to come be the offensive line coach. And then it gets even a little bit like it's.


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[Assistant] It's a, coaching hiring is a messy business I think anyway. And then in addition to that, you had Jim Harbaugh who apparently didn't get the Vikings job because he came in prepared like the job was already his and the Vikings noticed that and weren't impressed by his second interview. So you've got Brian Flores who


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[Assistant] Every personality, every hiring cycle is different, but I think everybody agrees there's a problem there in terms of the diversity and how they


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[Assistant] Vic Fangio would be a good head coach if his football team has a quarterback and a competent offensive coordinator. The Broncos had neither in any of his years that he was here.


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[Assistant] Rick Scangarello started to do well with Drew Locke and then they fired him and replaced him with Pat Shermer, so.


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[Assistant] Yeah, it's complex. Coaching, like coaching success in itself is incredibly complex and it relies on a lot of variables. Even Belichick Early, a big reason he was successful is because he had a ton of great coaches on that staff, including


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[Assistant] You know, hitting on finding a guy like Tom Brady who, even when he was young, came in and grasped the game and was able to do enough to help him win. So, it's uh.