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[Assistant] We'll see how that one plays out. Do you think they'll move Dak out once he fails?


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[Assistant] That's your after dark material. That's what you're saying.


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[Assistant] You know, Jeff Driscoll was a serviceable backup. So this is actually kind of surprising to me. Like he didn't, he didn't suck.


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[Assistant] He has the size, he has the size and the speed. Let's just see if he can catch.


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[Assistant] No, it's Najee Harris. Absolutely not. You know how many dudes that guy has to go through because nobody blocks for him? It's Micah Parsons. It's Jamar Chase. It's Micah Parsons. No, it's Davis Mills.


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[Assistant] We need the Falcons to win solely so that I can win my bet against Tom Grassi. Listen!


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[Assistant] Let's see what happens. He did well against the cowboys. He was literally the only one who did well against the cowboys. Let's see if he can keep it going. I started Matt Ryan in fantasy.


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[Assistant] Dude, you would have enjoyed it. I've seen you in that onesie. That undersized Tom Brady jersey. You would have enjoyed that. I'm at $63.98. I appreciate you guys. Oh, you should have given him more. Look at how well he's dressed.


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[Assistant] We need a G? That's enough to get you to fly to Minneapolis. See, I'm thinking, well, how do you guys feel about this? We need


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[Assistant] Tom, to go to a Packers game, Dressed.


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[Assistant] You can put a sweater on underneath, but like, we just need the... Right here. No, it's not the same though.


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[Assistant] What are we thinking though, chat? Chime in, weigh in.


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[Assistant] We're thinking of a punishment. Is he dressing as a Cowboys cheerleader? Is he going to a Vikings game?


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[Assistant] How do I get a frosted tip? Green and yellow frosted tips? How do I do that? They can wash out. They wash out.


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[Assistant] I said we lock it in with the frosted green and yellow tips. Guys, are you in agreement? Tree? Pernah? Either that or Minnesota, I'll be okay with it. I feel like he does not like the frosted tips, so you know what? I think that may be a good punishment.


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[Assistant] Your team's colors. Oh, it's good. You're going to be Guy Fieri, but with yellow tips. Oh yes. Two tickets to flavor town, baby. Forget tickets to Minnesota.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh yeaah, this is gonna be, this is gonna be great. Like how do I do this in the comfort of my own home? No, and don't live stream it too now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] TDG back next week with the Frostation.


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[Assistant] What do we have coming out this week? What's coming out? I got NFL predictions directly following this about 30 minutes an hour. Tree, what do we got coming out?


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[Assistant] The only veto will be in this program is called Big Veto, and I think he's dead.


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[Assistant] This is not the type of face somebody says, take care of my children if they die, please.


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[Assistant] We should pat ourselves on the back, uh, for going through an entire episode last week where Tom was dressed as a human lotion bottle.


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[Assistant] I just, I just learned what it was like to be in Tom Grassi's classroom though.


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[Assistant] The Hall of Fame game is the preseason game of preseason games. It happens a week before all the games. I'm still surprised that the teams playing in the Hall of Fame game are forced to play an extra preseason game. That still doesn't make sense.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's also, it's like the first time you hear football, like the sounds of it, the music, the announcers, and you're like, okay, it's back.


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[Assistant] Because sometimes that'll happen like in May, you turn on the NFL Network and they're doing like a game replay and you hear it and you're like, that's, this isn't the right time of year for it, but this is the first time you can really get excited about football coming back.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it's a warm up, I wish, I wanted to see Dak play, like I know they're being cautious with his shoulder.


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[Assistant] But since his ankle was so distorted last year, like, I'm curious to see how he looks. So I didn't have that as like a takeaway to watch.


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[Assistant] Uh, but the guy I'm excited to see is actually Steelers running back, Najee Harris, who should be getting some carries. Tom wants to get him some carries. And the more I watch and hear Najee Harris, the more I like this guy. Uh, he's funny.


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[Assistant] He's, he, he talked about how he used to be a wide receiver and now he just plays running back. And I think he's going to be really, really good, uh, despite maybe, you know, the Steelers needing some offensive line help, but that's a guy I'm really excited to see tonight. And yes, that is me trying to hype myself up for


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[Assistant] Eh, screw it, I'll go 43 Steelers, Cowboys, 8, because I don't think that secondary is any good. Wow. And I think Dwight Haskins is gonna come in.


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[Assistant] Do you think Dwayne Haskins can climb the backup depth chart and beat out Dobbs or Rudolph?


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[Assistant] I don't think he's gotten a fair shake yet. Some of that, you know, obviously his fault. But I feel like...


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[Assistant] He would be a better backup option than one of those two QBs, but I don't know.


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[Assistant] Dax, if his, he can stay healthy, maybe. Dax top 10 for sure.


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[Assistant] But also, then, these draft picks, if this case is dismissed, settled, or whatever, but if it's not, and it turns into a, uh, an indictment, then we're not giving, we don't have to give up any of these picks. Now I don't know if you can legally do that, but...


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[Assistant] As long as America is number one in basketball, I don't care how bad we get at healthcare.


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[Assistant] Brady's talking about money, which we all know is the most important thing to Tom Brady.


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[Assistant] Yeah, he's talking about the average value of NFL franchises going up 14%. So today.


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[Assistant] The value for the top 10 franchises came out, it was you know, Cowboys like number one, Patriots number two, but the players did not get


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Close to what they wanted in terms of the salary cap percentage and he's just talking about how, again, at another round of CBA deals, uh, the players got screwed and the owners won.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because they have more money, so they got better negotiators. Uh, or NFLPA just plays ball with...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] With the NFL owners and maybe they make a little money behind the scenes. Now, Tom Brady didn't say that. I'm insinuating that.


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[Assistant] But, uh, yeaah, that tweet is blowing up right now, and...


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[Assistant] I agree with him. So if I agree with him, you know it's correct.


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[Assistant] Yeah, I'd have to look at the percentages. I feel like they got slightly less of a percentage of the salary cap than even before, but I can't remember.


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[Assistant] I mean, the players are gonna make more money because the salary cap's going up, but proportionally, no.


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[Assistant] Uhm, anyway, I wanted to talk about, we've got the Hall of Fame game that happens tonight and then the Hall of Fame induction ceremonies this weekend.


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[Assistant] Denver Broncos got Peyton Manning going into the Hall of Fame. They've got Steve Atwater way too long, but he finally got into the Hall of Fame. That's a name. And John Lynch.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Four years as a Bronco, four pro bowls as a Bronco. Steve Atwater, my favorite player growing up. He was...


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[Assistant] Hi, I'm a coward. I'm a coward's coward, they say. But here's the thing, like, Braga's fans, we're super excited because we feel like our organization has been robbed of Hall of Fame


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[Assistant] Nominations for years because there tends to be an East Coast bias for Hall of Fame inductees.


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[Assistant] Uh, there's, uh, there's a linebacker named Randy Gratishar who is maybe one of the best linebackers to ever play in the 70s for the Broncos into the 80s. Not, never even gets close to getting in.


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[Assistant] So seeing these three guys, even though two of them started their careers with a different team, uh, it is, it is nice. And what I wanted to ask you guys...


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[Assistant] No, that's weird that you say that, Scooter. I was thinking about that, uh, when I was eating lunch today. I was like, John Lynch to me.


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[Assistant] Broncos fans claim him as a Bronco, you know, going into the hall, but he did most of his, like, really impressive work with the Buccaneers. Uh, Peyton Manning, most people could probably argue that, but in my mind, like, the first image I have of Peyton Manning is as a Bronco, because


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[Assistant] He played here four years, got us to two Super Bowls, won a Super Bowl,


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[Assistant] And I know he had a long career with the cults, I watched it, but in my mind, in my heart,


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[Assistant] And like, Champ Bailey, Hall of Famer, started his career with Washington, but I don't think anybody thinks of Champ Bailey a Washington football teamer, so, uh, or whatever they used to be called, the Tedbirds or something.


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[Assistant] How many Hall of Famers your team has in the hall? Oh, dang. Without Googling? Cause all of your dumb teams have a lot.


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[Assistant] I'll have to count, uhm, the bears have the most at 35. So cowboys are close, uh, where are the packers? Packers, okay.


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[Assistant] So like, I'm sitting here counting by hand for, like, your stealers here.


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[Assistant] Oh, that looks like 33 for the Steelers. The Steelers Packers very, very close.


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[Assistant] What ifs? Or who if? Who if? I don't know what kind of scenario it is, but- Why if?


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[Assistant] Better chance of getting into the Hall of Fame if they even do. Amari Cooper, Zeke Elliott.


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[Assistant] Oh man, I think we're like at seven or nine now. Where are we at? Oh my gosh. Are you the wait, which team has the least? Oh, here we are.


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[Assistant] No, I was just gonna say the, the bold I think indicates where a player, uh, he played most of, most of his years with that. The majority. So the Broncos have like eight of those guys. Uh, Peyton Manning, I'm gonna count, so I'll say nine, but. Okay. Yeah, we're gonna.


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[Assistant] That was, that was the joke I started my episode with, was like,


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[Assistant] Something like, Rogers didn't need a CGI team to do this.


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[Assistant] Yeah, well because the Giants had Joe Looney, Todd Davis, and Kelvin Benjamin retire. Three players retired basically in a week.


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[Assistant] The weirdest thing about the giant's brawl, to me,


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[Assistant] It's like Joe Judd, because like, okay, coaches are either like pro brawl or like against fighting. Like some coaches during training camp are like, yeah, like what Scooter's saying, like, I love when the guys get after it, it shows they're passionate. Other coaches, like we don't have time for any of this crap. We're not going to waste our energy fighting each other.


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[Assistant] To me, Joe Judge seems like a coach who would be pro brawl, like a guy who would get off on seeing his team go at it.


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[Assistant] He was not about it. They ran, they ran for like 30 minutes and then did dole line pushups or whatever.


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[Assistant] My question though is, if you're a head coach, are you pro brawl, or are you not about that nonsense?


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[Assistant] Yeaah. So they need him to play well, which is even more ironic.


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[Assistant] Well, here's the thing, Carson Wentz might be back week one. So, to me, I think, I think the Colts think he's gonna be back sooner, uh, closer to the five week as opposed to the 12 week thing. So it's probably an overreaction. The question is, will he stay healthy after that? Big unknown, right?


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[Assistant] Doesn't look like they're gonna make a move to bring anybody in because they also signed Brett Hunley, uh, to the roster. But if they were seriously going to bring in a quarterback who could compete


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[Assistant] Uh, might not be as good, but if you're gonna bring in a guy who could succeed in Indie, I honestly, legitimately, from the bottom of my little heart, believe it's GardnerMinshew, who could destroy their


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[Assistant] Good offensive line. Really talented defense. Enough weapons on offense. Good running back behind him. He doesn't make mistakes. That's basically what Philip Rivers did. Maybe Philip Rivers comes and joins him around December, like he said he wants to do, ish.


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[Assistant] But I would go gardener minchu. Somebody needs to give that guy a chance to start. Free the caged bird.


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[Assistant] I mean, well the 49ers are in a weird situation if you've paid attention to their camp. Yup. They're saying that Jimmy Garoppolo's having the best training camp they've ever seen.


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[Assistant] 49ers media is like Trey Lance is throwing footballs that we have never seen any human do ever. Yep. So apparently the 49ers have the two best quarterbacks in the NFL and they just got to decide which one they want to win with. Just like the Saints. Yeah. Which by the way,


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[Assistant] He really did show up fit, like once, like five years ago. You're like, oh, Ben worked on himself this off season. That was a while ago. And then his shoulder got...


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[Assistant] Oh, did you send that? Yeaah. Like he does like something with his foot before. Like his foot.


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[Assistant] Well, uh, I just put up a video about all of the NFL news from today. I talked about Watson, I talked about, uh,


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[Assistant] Everything that happened in the NFL today is up on my channel now. That's Good Sports on YouTube. There we go.


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[Assistant] Oh yea, uh, probably never gonna do that, if I'm gonna be honest.


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[Assistant] No, no, no. That's what he missed. That's what I missed the show. Here's the thing. I was going to do something for that this week.


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[Assistant] Like every three or four weeks. We can't go to daycare, so it's just like...


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[Assistant] I don't want to skirt the punishment, be the, the douche who doesn't live up to the expectations, but I don't have any free time to, one, schedule their stupid appointments because you got to call people on the phone and then sit down with somebody for 90 minutes and do something.


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[Assistant] This punishment I will deliver.


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[Assistant] You guys want me to shave this beard? That's a million dollars. My wife would divorce me if I don't have it, so.


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[Assistant] Adam can get one in too if he wants. I'll give him the opportunity. Okay.


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[Assistant] Oh, listen, I just wanna, uh, I wanna clarify something. I said it last week, but I just wanna remind, uh, so it has shipped.


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[Assistant] The shampoo mascot, it's a mascot has shipped. Yes. But apparently it takes so long to ship, it's gonna take 12 to 20 business days.


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[Assistant] When you get punished next, I promise you, I promise you, you will never forget that. If you thought listening to rap albums were bad, oh buddy, oh buddy, it's already in the mind.


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[Assistant] Yeah, so I think it's under because the Bills, the Packers, the Seahawks, the Browns twice, the Ravens twice, the Chargers, the Titans, and the Chiefs. Like, that's a brutal schedule even if the Steelers were, like, had an offensive line. So the one thing I will say is that


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Really tough defenses. You obviously have like the Browns and the Bills and stuff like that. Chiefs aren't a tough defense. Like I think that you guys could keep up with them potentially on offense if you're getting all this firepower. But like I think nine wins is like the ceiling right now.


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[Assistant] Real quick though, Scooter has just texted me saying that the Steelers are going to have a better record than the Cowboys.


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[Assistant] Yeah, I know, that's what he said. I mean, again, that's, that's what he said. And again, he's not here to defend it, so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think honestly, this is just another case. I mean, we had the Raiders listen to this show, obviously, and go and get Divine Diablo.


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[Assistant] Last week we were bashing the MLB, right? And talking about like how, you know, the viewership, it's so hard to get involved. I think that this is perfect because now you're taking like the Magic Mike demographic of, you know, attractive men taking off their clothes and now all of a sudden people are tuning in.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, I mean, I think that this is just a ratings boost and I'm curious to see, you know, what the ratings look like at the end of the week.


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[Assistant] I'll walk you through the entire thing. So, I went to game seven, uhm,


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[Assistant] They were going for $1400, like an hour before the game. And I paid less than like a third of that. So like, I was, I just lucked out.


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[Assistant] That, that looks like Matt LaFleur, like, and I'm like kind of processing it, I'm like, I mean like maybe he could have been here, like he's been to the other Bucks games for him to travel to Brooklyn though, like I don't know if he would do that, whatever. So he like goes and uhm, him and like a posse of people, like they walk away.


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[Assistant] What happens is like 10 minutes later, he comes back and he walks right into the row in front of me because that's where his seats are. And I'm like, holy crap, that's Matt LaFleur.


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[Assistant] So, as he's passing, like, I have a Packers mask, and I'm like, coach, like, go pack, go. We fist bump, I die inside. Uhm, the new Jets head coach, uh, Salah, is next to him. So, like, he's there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it's him, his wife, and then Matt LaFleur and his wife. So like, I'm sitting there and maybe


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The length of my room, like, that's where Matt LaFleur is. He's a row and like just diagonally past me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm sitting there, I'm like, this is amazing. Like, I tweet out, like, just fist bump like Matt LaFleur, it's a good night, right? And so, Halftime comes around, and they, they showed Sala on the, uh, Jumbotron. So, like, there was a couple fans, like, coming over and asking for pictures, but they didn't show Matt LaFleur, so no one's asking for a picture of Matt LaFleur. So, I'm sitting there, and I'm like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, so I walk over there and he wasn't doing anything. So I was like, Hey coach, like if you wouldn't mind, like, you know, would you?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's like, sure, not a problem. And I said like, you know, it would be like, it'd mean a lot to like the followers. And I explained like the YouTube and like kind of like showed the channel off and stuff like that. And he was just like, why? He's like, he's like, why are you a Packers fan in New York? So went on like that whole story. So we had a good like five to seven minute conversation, um, then took a picture.


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[Assistant] I would say that the Jets head coach's wife was near a 10. Okay.


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[Assistant] Alright, question number two. Was Aaron Rodgers disgust at all?


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[Assistant] Uh, no. I was going to make a joke because he was texting throughout the game. I was gonna ask if he was texting Aaron, but I didn't.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, so I didn't try to get him on. I explained to him though that like I've had Mark Murphy on a couple of times, the president of the Packers, and like I've had players and stuff. And I said at one point I was like, yeah, we'll get you on one of these days. So I left the door open for it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, it wasn't even starstruck, because like, I will say-


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[Assistant] That's when like Mike McCarthy and like Dom Capers walked past me and like it hit on me. I was like, holy crap. Like this is a thing that's happening. Uhm, so I think that I wasn't starstruck. I like honestly was just genuinely like elated because it was like a really cool experience, like talking to him. The game was fantastic. Like it was just a very.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, they, yeaah, there was a mass exodus, and people were not- that's a thing though, like, I will say, there weren't a ton of Nets fans there. Like, a lot of them were Knicks fans, the few guys next to me were watching the Islanders game on their phone, like, the person behind me was a Lakers fan, like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He wasn't, no, he had like thousands of dollar tickets. So like he was I think like a row behind court side, but like, you know, literally along the court. So I was behind him.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I went to game one and like, the only reason I went to game one is one, I was shocked how cheap the tickets were, and two, like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was dead in there. Like they booed Yanis and stuff like that. Game 7 was a lot more energetic, but like there really weren't a lot of people in that stadium at all. And I was like, oh, this is, this is weird. So yeah, I think, uh, I think you saw a lot of like people who were just like, it's a basketball game. Like I'll go and listen, it was a great game. Um,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, I, I, I honestly have never watched a full hockey game. I will say that like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't have time to do that, so like, I just, I haven't dedicated to it, cause like, like even with basketball, like I'm just starting to get into it now, but like I'm a super casual fan at this point.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like the only reason I got into it is because so many of like my fans are Bucs fans, so like I was like, okay, so like I learned more about like the team and the organization and stuff like that, and like I will say, like game one, I had a good time, it wasn't like a, but game seven, I was like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, now I understand why this is so exciting. But like to, I think Five, you were saying this before, like with the MLB, like there's so many games, like I feel like they're, they're just so inconsequential. Like that's another thing that football has over it, right? It's like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There were 16, now there's 17, 17 regular season games, like you lose a game, that can completely shift your entire season. Right, right. It's not the same with like any other.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think it's completely dependent on who that team is, right? So like when the Seahawks beat the Packers in the championship game, I was like, I want the Seahawks to be destroyed. And they were on the one yard line, so that made me very happy. Like when the Buccaneers did it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I didn't want Tom Brady to win again just because I didn't want Tom Brady to win. But when it was like the Falcons, for example, like when they beat us in the championship and then lost 28-3.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And that's why I'm pissed too, because like, I've wanted to see a Tom Brady Aaron Rodgers Super Bowl, and we were robbed of it three times. And like, that's what bothers me, because I would have just loved, like, it would have just been a fun game. It would have been nice. It would have been nice to see.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Mahomes Rogers could have been the past two years, you know? And I think, like, I think the Super Bowl this year, like, sucked because it, like, the Buccaneers just destroyed them. I think it would have been a lot more enjoyable of a game to watch the Packers and Chiefs just because it would have been too offensive, like, just going nuts.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, I, I, I'm so happy that Pernis ruined that little jab because you're about to lose. Oh, I don't, I don't know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, no, no. I think he's about to lose for super chats. Like, that's what we're about. It was about time, man. We're gonna punish you now. Like, and now I'm gonna advocate for something terrible.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I want an Olivia Rodrigo bridge too. Like I want to feel emotion. Alright? Like I want you to break it down. So I gotta record it. Yes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, there was a suggestion that you make a music video too. I feel like that's a lot of commitment. I feel like you just, the audio's fine. Like we, and we can sit here and listen to it and critique it. I mean, cause Tree is a connoisseur when it comes to music.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Level. Alright, so I'm actually very excited for this now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes. Well, the Bucks, right? If they go to game seven, it's not.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Good. Ready, I'm ready to tell people some truth about medical science today.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I actually admire him sticking to his guns and putting out an album that's over an hour long. Cause I feel like if I were in the studio, it would be the same problem. The producer would be like, we need to cut 40 seconds off this crap. I think we need to add 40 seconds, guy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I, uh, I think doctors are not to be trusted because when I was a baby, the doctors told my mom I would be five foot eleven. Uh, liars, absolute liars. Another issue is I think it really depends on if you like the player or not.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, Josh Allen, if he doesn't wanna get the vaccine, really good football player, don't care. Sam Darnold, uh, not very good. Also, you get sick all the time, dude. You might wanna get the shot to help your immune system.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You literally got mono during the season, which I didn't even know an adult could get. Uh, so that's my only issue there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Also, players who speak out against it, like Joe Mixon, can shut the eff up because I don't think Joe Mixon's allowed to have an opinion anymore.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Other than that, I don't care. Uh, as long as the doctor who said I would be 5 foot 11 eventually turns out to be right.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I thought we were going to get like a national, uh, state champ, three star recruit, uh, you just made the, the team. Okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's how, the MLB is like the opposite of the NFL. They're like, you know, let's take what's making this game exciting and get rid of it.


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[Assistant] The thing that baseball has going for it, and I think they need to do this more often,


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[Assistant] Yeah, Brady was on 18, Mahomes was on 20, now they're coming together on 2022.


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[Assistant] Here's a question for everybody because I'm sure we all follow our teams closely, right? You fall in the dumb training camp news. What like?


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[Assistant] As the Broncos have a quarterback competition,


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[Assistant] You re- you learn that when you don't really have a starting quarterback,


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[Assistant] All you're going to hear about is like how well your QB practiced in, in June, which does not matter at all. So it's like, jukebox won today's practice. Teddy Bridgewater won today. I'm like, that doesn't matter at all. So like with you guys following your teams, what's like the BS thing you're seeing like coming out of these.


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[Assistant] I follow like every single Broncos beat reporter, so I stay close to it. Like, what are you, what, like, the fan in you gets excited about it, but you know that there's no merit to the reports at all.


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[Assistant] After Alex Smith got traded away, it was Mahomes like first training camp and Bronca's fans were giving him the business on Twitter, his five interceptions in training camp, and then he made it to the AFC Championship game.


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[Assistant] Speaking of players who I predicted to be very good at, CJ Anderson. Like the first time I was ever following Bronfist Training Camp, I made a video about like,


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[Assistant] And so every year after that, I've tried to predict like, like Tree was saying, like the unknown kind of guys who are going to have a breakout season. And I have been wrong every single time after.


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[Assistant] Uh, the way he's been just treated by people on Twitter, I'm sure it's pushed him towards not wanting to get it.


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[Assistant] Okay, that's not really that much of a point. 27 years ago today, the OJ Simpson Bronco chase took place.


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[Assistant] Yeah, that was pretty crazy. And I was like, I was like, man, I should watch more basketball.


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[Assistant] Alright, yeah, we need a super chat countdown.


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[Assistant] $64.38 and I want to shout out the Katie Cat, who is a teacher. Multiple donations in this one.


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[Assistant] I can't believe we, uh, developed a sports show to help Tree and Tom buy a vacation home.


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[Assistant] Like for the season, for the summer, the last day before summer. Uh, next week. Yeaah, next week. Is that next week? Yeaah, that's next week. Yeaah, casual Friday, last day. What is your rule?


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[Assistant] Oh, I'm sorry, I haven't found an extra 90 minutes to sit down with a TB12 trainer.


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[Assistant] This could be the year. I got some good zingers in there.


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[Assistant] Telling me is the intro supposed to stop?


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[Assistant] Hey, hey, last week. How are you doing? I'm good. We had the fans here on Clickbait Sports come up with the name for themselves, really, to compete with Tommy Nism, with Democritry,


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[Assistant] Five points, guys. It's five or Terry doesn't.


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[Assistant] Pernographers is the clear winner. Uh, our slogan is feel the pern. Our platform is the nudist party. And we are all about pernarchy. So.


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[Assistant] I uh, I really respect Tree doing this right now.


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[Assistant] He, uh, is clearly hurt, not injured, so he's fighting through the injury, uh, maybe tomorrow he regrets this. I don't know if we'll find- Eh, no, they're wrong with that.


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[Assistant] Alright, we've got some NFL stuff happening.


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[Assistant] Man, there's so much. I'm gonna lead though with Urban Meyer teasing, titillating us if you will.


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[Assistant] That he hasn't decided which quarterback is starting week one.


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[Assistant] Gardner Minshew or Trevor Lawrence. So my first question for you guys, uh, do you think there's any chance in hell Urban Meyer starts anyone other than Trevor Lawrence, week one, barring injury?


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[Assistant] I think the weird thing here is Urban Meyer might just be crazy enough, detached from the reality of the NFL enough where he would do it.


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[Assistant] Like if, I feel like if there was a coach to do it, it wouldn't be Urban Meyer. Uh, and trust me, I, I want to see, I want to see Minshew start week one. Uh, he was last year. Let me jump in here. Let me jump in here. Here's my thing. Here's my thing. Sorry, Scooter. Go for it.


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[Assistant] The struggle is like the season for them and then y really having to learn to


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[Assistant] Uh, Jags fans like both quarterbacks look good so I think they're in a great situation. Uh, Daniel Jones not playing this weekend, right Adam?


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[Assistant] The big, the big story I felt like from Hard Knocks.


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[Assistant] Now I'll say this before you continue.


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[Assistant] What if that's not salt? What if we learned that it was actually just tiny crushed diamonds? Or just like MDMA?


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[Assistant] Well, they, they, uh, featured Dax and Zeke's relationship, uh, good friends, very all around their birthday presents, like all that stuff was fine. They followed Dax, you know, they were limiting him in practice, which,


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[Assistant] Dak hated, seemed to hate being limited in practice. But the big thing is like Micah Parsons.


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[Assistant] In his energy, like the dude.


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[Assistant] Doesn't have an off button, like this guy is ready to play football.


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[Assistant] He was playing in the preseason game. They pulled him out and he got it. He was like on the phone with Dan Quinn. He's like, I'm not done playing. And the coach like, look, dude, there's a ton of football left. You, you have to limit yourself right now.


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[Assistant] And I think it's a, you want that out of a young player, uh, but it's also, it kinda reminds me of Jonathan Abram, who we saw a couple years ago with the Raiders, who was just, just a ball of energy, he got you excited, and then like,


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[Assistant] Every time he hits somebody. And so I was like, I don't want that to happen to Parsons. It made me, cause like, you know, you learn all of these guys names and the draft and.


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[Assistant] Maybe watch college football and you know a little bit about him, but like after watching Carson's, I'm like, okay, I'm going to root for this dude because I like his personality. Like he's the guy who's really happy to be playing football and like that, that stuff gets me excited.


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[Assistant] That's like why I watch Hard Knocks and it would be nice to see them feature, you know, some other players besides Dak and Zeke more moving forward because we know so much about those guys and I like learning about the players we don't know about. So I think that should lead into us talking about Dak. Yes.


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[Assistant] Getting another MRI is never something you want to hear.


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[Assistant] Give me Orlando Apollo's All-Star QB, Garrett Gilbert, slinging it week one for the Cowboys, as Dak just needs one more week to let that strain fully heal. Adam, I think you brought up a good point about, like,


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[Assistant] If you're looking for something, you're gonna find it. And I think...


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[Assistant] Let's say that the Cowboys aren't super worried about Dak's injury, but like he wanted to have another MRI, which is kind of what it sounded like.


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[Assistant] Maybe Dak's just kinda in his head a little bit after last year's horrible injury, like...


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[Assistant] You, like, you know when uhm, somebody around you is sick, that you, you've been, I'm sure we all know that now, uh, Adam, you're recovering, but like,


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[Assistant] You start feeling symptoms of being sick and then you don't ever get sick or like if you've


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[Assistant] I feel like Dak's going through the same thing where he maybe just thinks it's more serious than it really is and he's being over cautious on it because he went through that last year.


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[Assistant] Signed a big contract, doesn't want to let anybody down. Just that sort of thing. But still, I'm gonna roll with my boy Garrett Gilbert. Week one!


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[Assistant] I'll say Packers fans are like kids who found out their parents are probably getting divorced, but like, since the parents were finally able to kind of tell the kids they're actually getting along pretty good right now, and everybody's got a little help, maybe.


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[Assistant] I just remembered, I did a whole bit about this like a week or two ago.


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[Assistant] It was that, like, the more in shape you are as a head coach, the less of a chance you have to win a Super Bowl. And, uh, like I just went back through, like, all the Super Bowl winning coaches, like Belichick,


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[Assistant] Uh, Andy Reid, uh, Bruce Arians, like these guys aren't like super fit. The last most fit coach was Gary Kubiak with the Broncos in 2015 and he had other health problems. He neglected his health.


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[Assistant] Like, I totally forgot that I even freaking did that bit, but also, uhm,


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[Assistant] I was, Will and I had a discussion on the podcast earlier today, uh, because we were talking about, um,


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[Assistant] And, like, I was like, there's a loophole, like, you can criticize players for being overweight or out of shape because, like, it's their job to be at a certain level of fitness. And not like you should be, like, shaming them for it, but I'm like,


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[Assistant] You don't want to criticize anybody like in the real world really about that. It's kind of a cheap shot, although we'll do it a lot with Andy Reid because Andy Reid also seems like a guy who's comfortable with it and he makes fun of himself, like talking about


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[Assistant] Or ordering his extra cheeseburgers and that sort of thing. Like athletes who are supposed to be in shape for their job.


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[Assistant] As a show called Clickbait Sports though, I think we need to idolize Skip, you know? That's true.


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[Assistant] I did a whole, a whole thing on it, a whole video on it, uhhh.


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[Assistant] Would have liked to have been more timely about it, but it's a situation where...


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[Assistant] The fact that I couldn't be timely, the fact that I just had to wait, uh, like I got sick over the weekend, we had this sick baby at home, so like I just couldn't get a video up. And...


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[Assistant] I think it speaks to an issue of


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[Assistant] This, like sports, like you have to be so reactionary to things, at least like I do if you're trying to cover the news. Like you're trying to get videos up as quickly as you can so you're still hitting in the window where people are searching for things.


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[Assistant] He misinterpreted a tweet I made a while ago. I didn't even know he blocked me. Then I found out he blocked me. And then I tweeted about it.


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[Assistant] Ah, like, showed that he blocked me and then he got a ton of backlash from it. So...


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[Assistant] Which was not my intention. And then he went on his show and said my intention was to tell all of my fans to


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[Assistant] Dump on him, which wasn't true, but it must have seemed like that for him if like a bunch of people are just like talking trash to him.


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[Assistant] Pornographers came out strong. They came out very strong and like, I didn't agree with it, but like, like I said, when I talked about it, I tried to take away his perspective, which was I should have known that by


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[Assistant] Tweeting that by showing that he blocked me, that I was inviting that criticism to go his way.


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[Assistant] Yeah, leading to everything I just said about getting blocked and getting upset that I pointed out that I was blocked by him. And, like,


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[Assistant] If I had the chance to react to it earlier, I probably would have been more immature about it. Probably double down, like I'll see in Bayless, before a resolution, you know, uh,


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[Assistant] Came to fruition, and I'm glad that didn't happen, uh, because like the one thing I'm, I can hold my own with is like, talking trash and going back and forth, like, I felt pretty good, like I could do that, but,


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[Assistant] We had a few back and forths. I tried to ease it with a joke. It opened up the door.


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[Assistant] People who watch my show know, like, I respect his show, I respect what he's done in the space, and they were upset that he was upset at me because they know I'm a fan of his, so they went even harder at him, which kind of had the, you know, the reverse effect.


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[Assistant] I wanted to, yea, a lot of people who follow me got blocked by Pat, so that sucks for them, I feel bad about that, but like.


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[Assistant] I wanted to say, cause I felt bad that it happened, like...


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[Assistant] I didn't want to, but I, I felt bad, but I felt so reassured knowing that you guys had my back. And like we talked through it and you guys are really supportive. And I was like, thank God, like I have all these guys.


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[Assistant] That I can talk about this with who understand exactly like the weird position I'm in, like doing YouTube. And just like having that support, I was like,


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[Assistant] If this pans out poorly, I'm okay because I've got a ton of people that support me and that'll help me no matter like what happens here. And that was really, it felt good because doing YouTube for a long time, like alone, before we started this group, our group chats, like,


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[Assistant] You're shooting in the dark just trying to figure things out. You don't know. Like you could lose everything like that. So I really appreciated your guys' support and that was definitely...


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[Assistant] No, I honestly, uh, I thought-


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[Assistant] Did we win because Kevin Durant used a smaller shoe size for the game?


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[Assistant] Dude, I'm just interested to see if Cam Newton looks good. You got Ryan Patrick maybe playing? There's like a lot to actually watch in that game. I feel like, I think Fitzpatrick's supposed to play a little, but like Cam's got a ton to prove and


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[Assistant] Like, that's awesome. Like, that's great football content. So, I hope he looks, looks good, but.


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[Assistant] I think we've got to make Adam buy some sort of team themed shoes.


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[Assistant] Brandon is actually hosting this whole episode, so Brandon, it's on you.


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[Assistant] I need to know what doctors you're going to, because I need to not go to that one. I'm scared.


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[Assistant] Yeaah. Yeaah, I'm right. Yeaah. You're completely wrong, Brandon. I don't... What are we looking at here? Just look it up!


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[Assistant] I knew NFL contracts were not guaranteed because the NFL players every time the NBA players get signed get so upset because the MVP NFL players are getting shafted and the middle level NBA players are making as much as the high level, the top NFL talent. And it's a thing.


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[Assistant] He's making that bang, man. Even- I got a question for all of you guys.


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[Assistant] Because I'm pretty sure we've all had a Brandon Marshall moment. What was it for you though, chat? Let us know.


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[Assistant] To donate to Tom, so he wins. Just go ahead, everyone!


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[Assistant] Going back though, I did have a Brandon Marshall moment, if any of you guys saw any in your chat you wanted to read. I did have one, and it turns out...


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[Assistant] Anyone who rooted for Gonzaga really is a Brandon Marshall moment. How about that though? What a championship. I did not expect Baylor to come out and do that. Did you guys?


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[Assistant] I just don't think the emotion right coming off that high, I think they couldn't do it.


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[Assistant] Dig and zag, baby. Hey, go zag, roll zags, okay? Y'all got it next year, if the Gators don't.


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[Assistant] It sounds magical, honestly. Can someone pull that up? We need to get that for the next episode.


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[Assistant] I make videos over on youtube.com slash Scooter McGruder. I recently changed my hairstyle up for the first time. Uhm.


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[Assistant] Ever, really, my whole life. What do you guys think? I just really want to know what you guys think. Scale of 10. Uh, my girlfriend loves it.


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[Assistant] My sister did the twist. And my mom's just happy.


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[Assistant] I'm also a huge Dallas Cowboys fan. If you don't know who I am, I'm a huge Cowboys fan.


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[Assistant] Infatuated with Kyle Pitts. Now, you might think this might give me cause for celebration.


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[Assistant] In fact, it is the exact opposite. This is a smoke screen. Unfortunately, this confirms we will not be getting cow pit now.


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[Assistant] Because anytime Jerry comes out and says something.


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[Assistant] 40% chance it comes to fruition, 60% chance smoke screen. So now I'm sad. We're going to be getting Patrick Stratan to second. Great player. I think you do some great things, but I do think Kyle Pitts.


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[Assistant] Uh, edge, corner, and linebackers.


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[Assistant] I think, I think it was a good two minutes. What do you guys think? Rate my ten minutes as well. Rate my two minutes as well. Scale of ten. Let me know. I gotta get better.


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[Assistant] I think that's fair. As long as it's not your first time watching, it's not your first time.


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[Assistant] I almost got it too and then it's like crap. Can we get some W's in the chat? I gotta come correct next time cause that was inspirational. Like I feel like I need to go do some pushups or something. Like I feel inspired.


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[Assistant] Chat, what would you guys name Washington? Leave a comment. What would you name Washington? Chat, let us know. You like wildflowers? I like losers.


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[Assistant] Bro, you gotta think though. You're Michael Jordan.


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[Assistant] We are the titan. Come on now. Come on now. Tree. Tree. What? Come on. What are you going with?


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[Assistant] Matter of fact, I think this is gonna be, I think this should be the clickbait tweet of the week. Favorite sports movie I'm going with. Remember the Titans.


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[Assistant] What is your favorite sports movie? Hashtag clickbait sports.


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[Assistant] Yep, take them out. Rule number 14 is the best by far.


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[Assistant] No turnover on downs. Pretty good. You can trade cap space.


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[Assistant] That we think the NFL should actually implement. It can come from this list or it can just be something you've been thinking of. What's one rule?


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[Assistant] What does this guy judge do in other sports?


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[Assistant] Got some elevation! I do think one thing that would really elevate the league, and it's so easy,


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[Assistant] No penalties for celebrations. None. Unless it's like egregious and you're mooning, Randy Moss mooning someone. No penalties for celebrations. That's it. Right? Let's go back to having some more fun. Let's open it up a little bit.


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[Assistant] Why is that, that's 15 yards? Bro, catch up! You're slow! Come on now.


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[Assistant] Like, offer it. Tom, what are we doing? What's your rule?


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[Assistant] How do we feel about the current overtime rule?


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[Assistant] Should we switch to college? Do we like the current system?


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[Assistant] Like you gotta make it 35 yarder, 40, 45, 50, 55, 60, 65. Let's hop!


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[Assistant] That's awesome intrigue! You know how dope that would be if...


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[Assistant] After overtime, it went to a kickoff. Maybe you start at the 50th hour. That would be so cool.


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[Assistant] Kick off, throw off. It would be, I don't know. What do you guys think, chat? Let me know. I think that would be cool.


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[Assistant] I'm reading in the chat, we need fights like on NHL. They want to switch to college football rules.


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[Assistant] I like the kickoffs. Wait, what are your chats saying guys? Let's get some engagement.


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[Assistant] I thought we could all buzz in. I did not know Michael Irvin stabbed someone, period, let alone with scissors. And the reason he stabbed him...


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[Assistant] Bro, I'm looking at an article. It says remembering when Michael Irvin nearly stabbed a teammate to death.


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[Assistant] I'm going, I'm just gonna throw out a guess, we're gonna throw out a keep to leap.


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[Assistant] You went, you went in looking for these questions. It's looking like the first one who gets it right could be the winner.


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[Assistant] Is that your answer? We're gonna go with... What is...


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[Assistant] I couldn't Google it fast enough. I put it in Google. It was there, but the name doesn't come up.


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[Assistant] And you thought I would have that information in my brain.


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[Assistant] Two's. Type two's. If you don't think it should count, type two.


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[Assistant] Okay, Dez is touchdowns. Dez has the most touchdowns of any player.


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[Assistant] Alright, I'm gonna log off. How do I, listen, guys, great show. I'll be back next week.


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[Assistant] Forget your questions, I actually got it right! We can't do anything for Tree. We can't do anything.


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[Assistant] The pressure is on. Chat, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. Chat, make your bets right now.


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[Assistant] Tree, how do you feel right now? Like, rapid reaction? What, how does it feel being the champion?


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[Assistant] Uh, from Alex Deathrose, who says, I got you, Scooter. Alex, I appreciate the donation, man. Thank you so much.


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[Assistant] No, I like that. We need a commissioned artwork painting.


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[Assistant] Well, who's the Pittsburgh's biggest rival? Like biggest? A1. Baltimore probably. We need a Lamar Jackson picture.


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[Assistant] Right there, custom. Chat, help us with some ideas too. We gotta, how much is our budget again, Tree? Well, how much?


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[Assistant] We gotta go through what are we working on, what's, what are we doing, what's coming out next for all of us.


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[Assistant] That's gonna suck, cause I gotta turn those around super fast.


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[Assistant] But doing that, and then I got a backlog of podcast episodes that I gotta go through and edit. First one, I'm trying to get out.


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[Assistant] What's today? Thursday? I'm trying to get out this week. Michael Gallup, receiver of the Cowboys, shot it like four or five months ago. Finally getting ready to put that out. So be prepared for a podcast episode with Michael Gallup.


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[Assistant] That is true. That is true. Coming out sometime this...


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[Assistant] Works, like physically speaking, I'm probably the smallest man here.


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[Assistant] The goal every week is to come up with a super clickbaity title. So we went with, we went with Flacco this week. And I thought this was, uh, Destiny, because uhm,


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[Assistant] Flacco just joins the Eagles, right? He is the new Eagles backup quarterback. Uh, today I saw them tweet out.


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[Assistant] An interesting headline about Joe Flacco with the Eagles, which is...


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[Assistant] Joe Flacco says his main job is to play football, not mentor Jalen Herps.


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[Assistant] Now this is interesting because when Joe Flacco was in Denver, he said the exact same thing about Drew Locke.


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[Assistant] That, uh, you know, hopefully paid off in the video, but I just wanted to know if you guys stoop.


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[Assistant] They bring back Justin Simmons, uh, lock him up for four years, then they get Kyle Fuller out of- Out of-


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[Assistant] Out of Vikings, uh, division territory. So you're welcome, Tom. I took away a dangerous threat to your team. Thank you, I appreciate it.


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[Assistant] Come play, come play with Din, in, in, in Denver. And here's the thing, I think the Giants and the Broncos both have done very well in free agency.


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[Assistant] That's some, uh, very cowboy fan like, uh, backpedaling there. Uh, what's your, what's your biggest need Dallas? Uh, our secondary. Oh yeah. Okay. We brought in a guy to help the secondary and let's move him to linebacker.


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[Assistant] Yeah, I think Dalton's average QB, I think people, he just like, he's uninspiring, he's the most uninspiring guy you can roll with.


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[Assistant] Bears fans had high expectations. They thought, they thought Russell Wilson was coming to town and then they got Andy Dalton.


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[Assistant] It's weird because you want to compare it to getting, like as a kid getting a Christmas present that they didn't want.


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[Assistant] But Andy Dalton's nickname is the Red Ryder BB gun, so if you're going to a Christmas story, he's actually the prize. So maybe Andy Dalton is the prize present. Bears fans really need it. No, no, no. What's gonna happen is they're gonna shoot their eye out. They need something.


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[Assistant] How many points does Spike Lee have for the Knicks?


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[Assistant] General NBA Playmaker fan. Okay. Just like call me the Rob Lowe of the NBA, baby. Oh, you're just NBA. You're just rooting.


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[Assistant] I live in the city where the nuggets play but I can't watch them on television because


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're going into year two of a dispute between Altitude, owned by Stan Kronke and Comcast. So, Stan Kronke is trying to flex on Comcast.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That said, I think the nuggets just got a lot better in free agency.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Took part in dismantling part of your, your team, your Orlando magic.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Bringing in Aaron Gordon and JaVale McGee, who was raw when he was with the Nuggets last. And if the radio taught me today anything, it's that he's more polished now and this is a great move for the Nuggets. And you put anybody around Nicole Jokich.


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[Assistant] Uhm, yeaah, so Tom and Scooter on team one. Adam and Tree on team two.


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[Assistant] And so it's all, it's all, uh, sports related or football related words.


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[Assistant] Your time starts now. Giants? Terrible!


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[Assistant] Alright, Tom, your time starts now.


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[Assistant] Alright, your password is...


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[Assistant] Okay, Adam, the password has been shown. It's been shown? Okay. I'm gonna do a visual comp. Okay, you ready? Your time starts now. NBC.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Shooter, your password is... I thought we had cast C5. I am disappointed. Okay. Too easy. Yeah, we'll see.


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[Assistant] Alright, you ready, Scooter? Your time starts now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Thanks a lot. And your time, Scooter, starts now. Gators.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think, uh, yeaah, I think. Easy! We gotta stick with the one word. So like, even North Dakota State.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've got the 360 Nate. No comment, just a 99 dollar super check.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, Derek Jeter, I want you in a Jeter jersey. Poster of Dave Gettelman.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, uh, I don't, I don't know what video I'm doing next. Either an NFL News video tomorrow or, uh, we're working on the 10 quarterbacks


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The most, the most positive critique, the thing I think we all can learn from, from our very first episode was this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is, oh, you have the Super Bowl, oh, your thing is, Tree, yours is the Super Bowl thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, it probably took whatever the last- Yes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's just a test. So yeah folks, clickbait motherlovin' sports. We got four of the greatest football YouTubers on the frickin' frackin' planet. Yeah. Be streamin' right to your frickin' eyeballs every Thursday, 5pm Eastern. Talk about a whole bunch of nonsense and craziness. Get hype!


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[Assistant] And that's the thing, we're having a competition. Whoever gets the most super chats on their channel gets to retire early. That's the competition.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Perna's getting the super chats already. So right now, Perna's made two dollars. So guess what, boys? You know, we made a few cents tonight.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, you know what? This is what happens. Wait, you know what? I'll put this live and it could crap the bed all over my thing. Alright.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, this is, this is, alright, so I'm just gonna set this as huge announcement, and we're just gonna, we're gonna pretend. We're gonna wing it. Alright, hold on.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, huge announcement, okay, hold on, cause that's clickbaity, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Now, what I'm gonna do is uh, oh, you know what though? Perna, I need you to email me, I love how we're working this out live. Can you email me the thumbnail that you use so we can get some consistency? I don't want it to be a white face. Oh, fuck yeah, I can email it. That makes a lot of sense. You know what?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My escapism for me. Alright, so here's what we're gonna do. We're going to edit this bad boy. We're going to put this, uh, we're going to put this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Now it has to go seri- Now this is serious business, cause now it's on-


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[Assistant] Deleted. Is it? Yup, there we go! Now!


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[Assistant] Now the grassy possibly has arrived. Now, now all things are well in this corner of the world.


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[Assistant] Dumb gamer with a fire. First Super Chat, baby. Let's get it, baby. Listen. Listen. Click Fake Sports. Brandon Perna.


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[Assistant] Legend, urinating tree, legend, five point fids, not here, so not looking right now.


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[Assistant] Myself, Tom, Motherlovin, Grassy, every Thursday, 5pm Eastern, for, what do we say, 45 minutes?


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[Assistant] That's right, baby. That's it. Clickbait sports. Dark Expo. Hey, Tom. Uh, tell Tree I'm a Seahawks fan and the Steelers suck. Alright, Dark Expo says the Steelers suck. Eh. Ray with a tenner saying Tommy doesn't forever!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh yea, b-by the way folks, I apologize if I miss your, uh, super chats, cause we're doing this over three different channels right now, so that's, uh, that's my big- I mean, I have a bunch I have to get to here, so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's it. Listen folks, if you're just coming in, you're about to witness greatness.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] All four of us when Adam, when Adam bodies recovered from the river.


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[Assistant] I really hope he's not actually dead. I didn't do anything, I promise. But...


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[Assistant] It's gonna be amazing. Every Thursday, 5pm Eastern, breaking down some sports, getting some amazing guests. Although, if Adam actually is dead, he was the guy who was supposed to book those guests, so. He was supposed to book the guests that could put a wrench into our plan. Could be a little problematic. Little bit. But.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, if you combine myself, Brandon Perna, and uh,


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[Assistant] I'm a random guy with 1499 says can we get a fight match between Tom and Perna? Ooh. Okay. Alright.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, I'm a white belt, so I suck. He's a purple belt, so like, I could fight back a little bit, but no.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, you know what? I'll, I'll, I will take that. So there's a hierarchy in ass kicking right now, so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it's supposed to be like a square, maybe even a rectangle, depending. How many sides of rhombus? Is that four still? I feel like that's four still, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He should be getting the super chat bonanza. He could, but he didn't. Listen folks, this is gonna be legendary, or it is going to be a fiery trainwreck, but either way, it's gonna be entertaining as hell to watch. I'm leaning trainwreck.


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[Assistant] That's it. That's it. It's gonna be a show. And again, I think a little bit of what's happening right now is we are stalling to see if Adam actually shows up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, will it be the worst thing ever for the Packers? I mean, again, no, because he's already gonna get hit, but he is also used to terrible offensive lines. I wouldn't be surprised. I know they tagged Alan Robinson, but if they wind up tagging and trading him, uhm, I don't think it'll be the end of the world. I think if, you know, they will be a better football team, but that's also a low bar, so.


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[Assistant] Listen, we usually kick their ass in Lambo.


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[Assistant] I got it already. You just listen. You tell me what tub to get. I actually have four Packers toasters. So you just let me know where to ship them or you know what? You guys come to my house. The tub is a little small, but we could, we could, we could cuddle in there. We can make it happen.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, yes, I mean, they are always in that, but listen, you know, if you head on over to the Tom Grosse page and you sign up as a member, you could use the toaster emoji like everyone in the chat is doing right now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is a great question for everybody, and it's a super chat. I think that makes absolutely no sense considering that Patrick Mahomes got obliterated in the Super Bowl, and they're like, eh, we don't need these guys! I mean, I know they were in trouble cap-wise, and I think they're still over the cap on like 3 mil, but...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, they're expensive, but I mean like, those are your two starting tackles and now you're just like, oh yeaah, we'll replace both of them.


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[Assistant] Hold on. My, my description is wrong. Alright. Are we saying clickbait is one word or? Okay, we're saying one word.


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[Assistant] I'm gonna type it out and say it at the same time because that's what everyone wants to hear. Featuring God. Jesus.


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[Assistant] Should I even put Five Point in there? Because like, he might actually be gone. Like, I just wanna- Yeah, I don't know.


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[Assistant] I brought this up last night during the stream. Like, the Patriots have the third most cap space. They're getting a bunch of their defense back who opted out because of COVID. You know, obviously they need to sort out who's gonna be under center, but like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Travis, when a tenor says, thoughts on Mark Ingram joining Houston Tree, you were talking about this earlier. I mean,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's not, I don't think there's a ton left. He was great for me, not this past season, but the season before that, but I don't think there's much left in the tank, so. Then again, it's a Texas.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Anyway, Travis says, ten dollar nation, someone's missing their plunger, so. Oh, the plunger will come.


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[Assistant] Brandon Parna put his heart and soul into those emails, which I also misread, and was here two hours ago, because I couldn't read.


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[Assistant] I don't know anything about hockey. You could have made up those names and I would not have known the difference. I was like, Pagula? I think that's a fruit.


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[Assistant] As I say, the key light looks great. Really fine, fine work there. It really is going to capture the reflection.


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[Assistant] By the way, Conman donated $20 saying this is Dumpsterfire 2.0. Uh, how much of a shit show this has already been. You guys get to do a draft stream altogether. We might fuck around and do that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I usually do a stream by myself, because, loneliness, so.


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[Assistant] It is ivory tower. We're just like, you know, we're just, we're just trying to put on a show here. I got the least amount of subscribers out of all of you. So, you know, let's just support small business folks.


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[Assistant] Youtube.com. Okay. So then you're going to click the little camera that says create, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right, like you click on the stream and then it'll say like, you'll open it up and it'll show like analytics and stuff and it should say chat revenue.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] TommyNN with a $50 donation saying TommyNN is a must-reign supreme overall! Woo! And Ruff with a $22 donation saying yes, and Stree, we're at $411 now. Suck it!


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[Assistant] There, there we go. Where the hell did Five Point go again? This should be a recurring thing. One of us should just disappear in the middle of the show every week. Like, and just come back with like a full-blown dinner.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Say go live. Well I'm in that manage page, but it won't let me click on this part that says stream.


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[Assistant] It should be like a, like right in the middle. It should, it should say like the name of the stream and stuff and you could click on it. I think that, that, that's what mine is.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Here. Well, here, Five Point, you've been here for a minute. You wanna tell them what the big announcement is?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Click on Age Sports, every Thursday, 5pm Eastern. We got Brandon Perna. Urinating Tree.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Five point. Tom Grosse coming to you for an hour to bring you the best and worst of sports content that you can find on the internet. Suck it McV! We're coming for ya!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Don't worry. It's going to be up forever. I'm going to keep this up forever.


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[Assistant] I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Travis just coming donated $200 just now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Saying, well, we can't let Tree have all the fun. By the way, how's the radiation from the Yinzer Reactor 4 meltdown?


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[Assistant] The, the lens cap is on. Con Man or 24, I mean next trick I'll make five points appear and disappear again.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, card order 20 saying this is my last donation for another two weeks, need someone to do the clubby call, let's make this comeback and destroy the yinzers, go pack go.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, so in terms of what I've seen lately, uhm,


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[Assistant] I think that the mama penguin really kinda has it easy, and I think, you know, disrupting the patriarchy is...


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[Assistant] You know, something that is, you know, is near and dear to my heart, but you know, the fact that they're the ones sitting on the eggs like that entire time and mom's actually going out, I just think it's like an interesting dichotomy of like what's going on in like, you know, Western culture as of late.


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[Assistant] You know, I, I really think that it's refreshing, it's a breath of fresh air and...


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[Assistant] You know, I think that, you know, penguins are gonna be pretty good for this season though. They do have to watch out for, uh, orcas because I have found out that those are their natural predator.


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[Assistant] That's the thing, like, he's not a sea world, uh, whale. He's a wild whale, he didn't really have to do those jumps, so that was like a one time thing, and he missed them, and he can't go back, right?


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[Assistant] But this was, I think that this has been the most successful first show that we could possibly imagine.


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[Assistant] Jared donated $2 saying since I gave Tree $150, here's $2.


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[Assistant] This is, this is who we stay away from. This is what we do. By the way, I do have to ask a very important question. Five, what are you making for dinner?


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[Assistant] Yes, thank you everybody for donating. You're insane and crazy. Yes. Thank you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I hate that too. I apologize if I missed you. I love you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] All, all of you. This was insane. This was, this was insane. For folks, in case you just came in for some reason, 5pm Eastern.


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[Assistant] All four of us, it's going down. It is going down.


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[Assistant] I think like, if you're Baker and the rest of the Browns, you're assuming that


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[Assistant] If Odell's dad feels comfortable posting that to his Instagram, it's probably because, whoa, inject chicken coming in hard.


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[Assistant] I said, I look good. I feel good. And I'm about to audition for every.


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[Assistant] I was like, I need it to be super curly. We, my wife, Jess.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Put rubber bands in my hair after we did the whole perm procedure so I would sleep and we'd get super tight girls. I slept in it. I wore rubber bands all day today. Did my workout with rubber bands. I looked like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A low rent coolio and uh, pop those things out and got the glorious, glorious curls.


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[Assistant] My wife, she, she better worry about me going to the grocery store alone and women seeing me like this. Cause there's going to be a lot of come ons in the produce section. Yes, I know that.


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[Assistant] I was gonna say, like, my biggest takeaway was what Tom touched on a little bit there. It's, Rogers didn't want to deal with the criticism for, for his choice. And it's like, it's,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is a bad week on the internet. Like, if you're a sports fan, there's been some horrific things, there's been some weird things, but it's like,


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[Assistant] People go after other people when they don't agree with the decision they've made.


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[Assistant] It happened to Beasley, like Tom said, and you can disagree with their choices and you can be respectful about your opinions with it. I think we tried to do a decent job of that here as weird and crazy as like this show gets sometimes. But like a guy at Roger's level who seems...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, immune to criticism? I think this is just going to remind you, like these are all just regular guys, they see the same crap that we see, and he didn't want to deal with it.


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[Assistant] That's the bigger issue, almost in my opinion, uh, of this entire situation. Because if a guy like Rogers doesn't feel comfortable expressing, like,


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[Assistant] His choices in that situation? Like who else has a chance?


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[Assistant] I think it's, they've got a combo there though. Like, I think Jeremy McNichols is a good running back. They used him in passing situations. I think he'll get more carries. I think the Titans line is...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Good at run blocking, so you don't want to ask them to become a pass blocking unit. Where AP actually can probably help them, and we saw him do this with the Detroit Lions last year, is in the red zone. He was...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, he scored a lot of touchdowns without doing a lot of work outside of the 20s. And I would take that approach the way the Steelers did with old Jerome Bettis when he was aging. Uh, who was the back that...


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[Assistant] Yeah, we want the Cowboys to beat the piss out of the Broncos this weekend because we want Kellen Moore as our next head coach. Listen, you're not getting Kellen. You're not getting Kellen. Kellen will never leave.


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[Assistant] Wait, hold on, I wanted to share this because Von Miller famously traded this week.


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[Assistant] Von Miller shows up to Ram's practice this week and he has one loyal fan out there rooting for him at his first practice. This is from Von's Instagram account.


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[Assistant] I went to bed with a normal haircut and then I found out Vaughn Miller got traded and my hair just permed naturally. It sucked. Like, I'm happy for Vaughn. I think he deserves to go to a team that's a contender because he can still contribute.


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[Assistant] He was playing well on a defense that nobody is going to talk about because the Broncos are a bad team on almost every level.


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[Assistant] As much as it hurt to see, like, the face of the franchise, and that's what Vaughn was. We don't, like...


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[Assistant] I love Teddy, I love Teddy, but he ain't turning any heads in Denver. Vaughn was the guy that was the leader of the team. And I don't think you want your edge rusher to be your overall team leader because it means you don't have an offense. So I'm happy he's going. And if he helps Matthew Stafford win a ring.


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[Assistant] Basically, Vaughn should win the uh, charity award of the year that the NFL gives out for helping Stafford get a ring.


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[Assistant] Yeah, let me highlight a guy coming back that I think is underrated, and that's Tarad Taylor. Gonna start this weekend for the Houston Texans. They play the Dolphins.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] For my Broncos football team recap, I like started this, this bit about like each team struggling once they got to the 30 yard line. And in my head, I was like, this will be like a quick bit because it happened a couple of times during the game. You know, I'll try to make this a short video that I crank out quickly. And I was going through and rewatching that game.


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[Assistant] And it turned into like a four and a half page script because it was literally every time both those teams got into the red zone at the 30 yard line, they collapsed. Like they would just both go backwards. It was penalties. It was bad plays. Then there's blocked kicks, blocked field goals, missed field goals. I was like, Oh my God, I'm doing.


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[Assistant] Like, I was like, oh this will be cute and funny, then I was like, oh my god, like, this is the whole game. It was the whole game.


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[Assistant] The ending of that game was the worst ending I've ever seen. Like, I thought that's what I was gonna focus on. And, uh, then I was like, oh my god, so many bad things happened, so.


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[Assistant] Somebody just asked why in the super chat I look like the Geico caveman. It's because I lost this week. I do not lose $99. Thank you guys all for your donations. I got $99. I wanted that Richard Simmons Jazzercise commercial. Got $99 and a perm is one.


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[Assistant] I've got a three hour long tutorial on how to do a proper mail perm.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Tom Hanks! Castaway. Volleyball.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] To clickbait sports, we've got the entire crew this time. Everyone has come back. We got Brandon Perna over here.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then we got Tom Grassi, and we will be talking about that with you, Scooter, in a little bit. However, what is with taunting?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This new rule that's come up. Brandon, what do you think of this new rule?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] After putting up 182 yards and 3 touchdowns against him, single-handedly beating them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, Patrick Mahomes is at plus 500, Tom Brady at plus 550, Aaron Rodgers at plus 1300, Dak Prescott, can I get some guesses as to where Dak Prescott is?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm just saying, like, it's very difficult to win the MVP as a running back as well, um, because there's been 15 consecutive AP MVPs and they've all been quarterbacks, so I just don't think that Derek Henry is going to win.


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[Assistant] My, my, you know, the only back that I think that I would want to have right now, uh, on the same level as Derek Henry would be Tony Pollard. So, um, obviously, he is, he is close on that level.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Speaking of two things that go together, like two losses.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We've got, we've got seven teams in the league.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That are, have started 0 and 2. And honestly.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And don't all speak at once because it would sound stupid. Uh, don't all speak at once. Which one of these 0 and 2 teams, the Giants, Lions, Vikings, Falcons, Jets, Jaguars, or Colts, makes the playoffs or none of them?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What's the chat saying right now? What's the chat saying for a bet right here?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We'll come back to that. We'll come back to this wager. But honestly, for me, none of these teams are making the playoff. None of these teams are all hot garbage. Uh, and I'm a little disappointed that none of you said the Giants because maybe they're actually...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, they let Taylor Heineken tear them up on passing, which is scary. Uh, one thing I just want to ask you Scooter, like you have faith in Kyle Pitts, but you don't, you don't like Kaderius Tony? Oh no, I love him.


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[Assistant] Uh, you know, that loss, you're exactly right because if, if my team, if the Gators lost that way, it's very encouraging cause then they can go play Georgia and lose in the exact same manner. We'll see.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes, uh, Teebo by the way, you got to ha- I saw you hugging and dapping Teebo.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Did he even, you've met, this is what, the third time you met him, did he remember you at all? No, he did not remember me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Listen, there's, there's quarterbacks in the league that are like Aaron Rodgers and Pat Mahomes where if they have a bad week,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What about these guys down here at the bottom? Let's go through these one by one. Brandon, I want, I want you to kinda, since you're-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay. We're trusting El Donkey. Okay. Bye, Donkey. He is handsome, so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, uh, Scooter, since you have so much faith that the Falcons will have a better record than the Colts, tell me whether Matt Ryan is allowed to sit at the cool kid table.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm very surprised that the guy that gave Ben Roethlisberger his nickname, a very derogatory one, does not trust him.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And we all know who that is. Don't type it in the chat. I will take Derek Carr. Okay, because all y'all got to go.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Some reason this year's different. The man that wears eyeliner is going to take his team farther than they've ever gone before, which is a, yes, a possible second round playoff loss. I am trusting Derek Carr this season.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So everyone that's watching the show saw the thumbnail, which is about the money tree, which is this fella right here.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, got a couple more segments left to go. We are chugging right along. Now, this segment is where you guys get to beat on me. Uhm, and it's unfortunate.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] According to the show premise, apparently I'm supposed to defend these guys, so you guys just dump on me and I'll try to point-counterpoint whatever this sad, broken man is capable of doing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If the Giants do not beat the Falcons who look like one of the worst teams


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In the NFL right now. Matt Ryan might as well be playing in a wheelchair out there. It's really disgusting how bad the Falcons have been. The Giants are supposed to be optimistic because they hung in there and they put up 29 on the Redskins.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Or he has to be for now. Uhm, look, you saw in that game how dynamic he can be.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, anyways, that's an older joke, but he swallowed a pill and two days later...


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[Assistant] Uh, listen, Daniel Jones showed you what he can do, which is he can overthrow a receiver slightly, he can run the ball, and he can score on touchdowns where there's an iffy hold in front of him. Look, I think if he just corrects, well,


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[Assistant] Look, no turnovers. Look, no turnovers against the bet. One of the better defenses in the league. No turnovers, no interceptions, no fumbles. And he ran the ball effectively.


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[Assistant] The Giants win this week or uhm, or I don't know.


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[Assistant] Oh yes, if the Giants do not make the playoffs, I have to buy a Daniel Jones jersey.


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[Assistant] I defended that about as well as Scott Peterson's lawyer defended him in that trial. Dark humor today.


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[Assistant] All right, virtual shake. Virtual wrong hand.


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[Assistant] I want you to defend. This is what I want you to defend.


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[Assistant] Alright, we have a game, we have a game tonight and then we'll wrap it up with the super chat.


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[Assistant] Alright, uh, the line tonight, it's Texans versus Panthers. The Texans or the Panthers are favored by 8.5. Uh, the money line is minus 10 on the Panthers. OU is 43.


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[Assistant] Why don't we just go around and call it, who you taking tonight? Brandon Perna.


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[Assistant] Yeah, you're really sticking your neck out there. Uhm. Got em! Got boom! Roasted tree! Who you taking tonight?


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[Assistant] Oh, where's the Panthers meme tweet? Where is that?


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[Assistant] Oh, that's, that's the meme right there. Okay. Just curse the Panthers.


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[Assistant] Also, if you're gonna bet the game tonight, use our code CLICKBATE on DraftKings. And Tom got shouted out by the NFL, by the way.


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[Assistant] Communism is spreading. Alright, as everyone knows, the super chats, whoever gets the most super chats at the end of the show loses. And now that we're all on at level playing ground, we can see, so we have 30 seconds. You and the audience have 30 seconds.


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[Assistant] Hopefully punish someone at the end of the show. If these losers over here would actually do their punishments. Too much work to do. To give the people what they want. I'm waiting for it to shift. Uh huh. Alright, run the countdown. Let's see who loses.


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[Assistant] We got a betting war. No, no, it's, it's now, it's now the score. Okay, tree.


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[Assistant] I have 110 and 99! Now it comes down! Uh oh, Scooter's already fist pumping! Scooter, what do you have?


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[Assistant] Kip! Kip, believe me. I appreciate you, Kip. Yes, Kip is a beast by the way. Tommy!


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[Assistant] Here it is, are we actually into this? Are we not using the veto here? This is, this is a, uh, this is a go.


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[Assistant] Sportsball's back. I really like this week's version of it. Tom, what you got going on?


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[Assistant] And Scooter, what famous person thing, are you going to go eat lunch with the Queen tomorrow? Like are they flying you to London so that you can kick off the season?


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[Assistant] And I have the video on Branson High School, the worst high school field in America. It's in the can. It's ready to go. It'll be debuting tonight. Hopefully it's a boring game, but I've got it set for 10 o'clock tonight, so. I swear to God, Adam.


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[Assistant] I think so. I think when you look at the pitch clock, uh, this is the second year of it being in its existence, and I think you're still in that trial and error. You're still gathering research on a pitch clock, and you're gonna make the proper adjustments as you continue to go along. I think with the pitch clock,


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[Assistant] We've seen pitchers pitch harder, we've seen pitchers pitch better, but we've also seen pitchers get hurt.


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[Assistant] Right? Because pitchers are used to having, what, 20, 30 seconds in between pitches to kind of... In the old days, whatever they needed. Whatever they needed. That's not the case anymore. So yeaah, with the velocity going up and the pitching being more of quality, you're also seeing more injuries because it seems like they're rushing through their, you know,


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[Assistant] I got a question. I don't know the picture's name in Atlanta, but I know their ace in Atlanta. He got hurt. You know, Gary Cole in New York. You got Shane Bieber here, right?


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[Assistant] In MLB, these star pitchers are like star quarterbacks in the NFL. Eventually, Ajay, I think we're going to start seeing tweaks to this pitch clock, tweaks to some of these rules, because you can't have guys like Shane Bieber and Gary Cole missing time like this when they're marquee players in the game.


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[Assistant] I'm going to just shake it up a little bit as a casual baseball fan. I know the Guardians have a lot of high level infield prospects in their minor league system. If don't nobody step up and take over this right field position and the Guardians continue to win, I expect Chris Antonelli to take some of those infield prospects and trade those off and get you a quality outfielder.


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[Assistant] Anybody that knows if you play in Jim Short's defensive scheme and you're a defensive lineman, uh, 9 times out of 10, you're going to be rotated in and out a lot. I think the most underrated player on the Cleveland Browns is Agbo O'Conkro. This is a dude who had 12 tackles for loss.


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[Assistant] Uh, 10 tackles for loss, 4 and a half sacks, 8 QB hits, you see the numbers. When he wasn't there, you can tell his presence was missed. When he was there, he made a major impact. Jay, I know you are our God and PFF is dead to you. Oh yeaah. But check this out.


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[Assistant] Out of 112 qualifying edge rushers, he finished 60th with a 65.4 PFF. Wow. Why is that impressive? There are 64 starting edge rushers in the NFL and he finished 60th and he's a rotational guy. So for me, Ogbo is the most underrated player in the crowd.


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[Assistant] You know the old saying, man, I'm out here playing chess, not checkers. Where the Cavs need to be playing checkers, not chess. You say chess for the teams like the Boston Celtics and the Milwaukee Bucks, right? The Cavaliers currently is the fourth seed, you know, fighting like crazy to hold on to home court advantage, going against a team that more likely


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[Assistant] You will see in the playoffs. I think you got to show your hand now, and I think it'll do a lot to restore energy and faith in the fan base, but also in themselves, right? Because you want to go into the playoffs on a high note. You want to go out there against a quality team, you want to play well, and you definitely want to win. So you, you, you can't afford to sit back and


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[Assistant] You gotta play the what if game. You gotta secure that home court advantage. You gotta get yourself internally ready to go. The season is over Sunday.


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[Assistant] Right? Then it's go time for real. So you can't afford to sit back and not show your hand. You gotta go out there and play hard.


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[Assistant] That the Cavaliers can actually get through the first round of the playoffs. And one last thing, you know, in the last five games, I know we've been beating up on Darius Garland a lot. He's averaged an 18.7 assist, shooting 38% from three. Over his last five games, the Cavs are plus four with him on the court.


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[Assistant] Evan Mobley, 16 points, 7.4 rebounds a game. Cavs are plus 8 with him on the court. Jared Allen, 7.2, 9.8 rebounds, Cavs are plus 8. If Donovan Mitchell is healthy enough,


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[Assistant] You know, and they can use this game as a staple to play well and get themselves ready to go. That might strike a chord within the Cleveland Cavaliers.