[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Dude, I'm, I'm working on a video of like who is the greatest QB and Packers franchise history and like there's a legitimate argument for Bartstar to be that guy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, there's an argument for Star. What about Don Mikowski? The Magic Man?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Nothing, I died. I mean, I heard, uhm, sources that I was looking into, uhm, said that the, uh, thing,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The jazz, uh, really, uh, were interested in him.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, was that the Philharmonic? He could make sweet, sweet music with the jazz who are from Utah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We could recreate Super Bowl 32 and I'm just gonna hit you sir, you're the Elway HEP Helicopter.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, so Perna is good. So wait, how many do I need to score? Or is it just catching?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I got, we got GPS tomorrow, we got Friday Q&A and then Coach on Saturday, which I'm desperately trying to get done before I go to Colorado. Yeah, buddy. And see Brandon Burnett. Scooter?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Here's the deal, everybody talks about my, I'm completely comfortable in who I am as a man, bro. I know I can lead men. I know I know the game of football and I'm passionate about it. I have no fear about, are you as qualified as somebody else? Bro, I spent 14 years in a locker room. I went to playoffs 12 times. I had.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I got five dudes in the Hall of Fame that play with it. You don't think I've seen greatness? You don't think I've seen how people prepare, how they coach, how they GM, how they work? I mean, one Super Bowl's been to two like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Here's the deal, man. None of us are promised a good job. I may be terrible at this. And after eight games, I'll say, God bless you. I am no good. I may be really good at it. I got no idea. But I dang sure ain't gonna back down. I can tell you that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Did you see Aaron Rodgers? Did you see him?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, I think the, like, if I were a player, I would want to play for the Lions, and I think...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This, I think this series, this ver- this, you know, five episodes of Hard Knocks might be a good recruiting tool for the Lions moving forward. Uh, assuming...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Their record, you know, still isn't great, but it might be like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The kind of thing where players take notice of the coaches and environment there and


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, we talked to Derek Wolf yesterday, Will and I, on our podcast, and we asked him about Dan Campbell. And he hadn't watched Hard Knocks, but he'd seen the clips, and he's like, I would play for that guy. He's like, I'd run through a brick wall for him. So it's like the kind of stuff where you think it translates that players sort of pick up on.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, uh, it, it does. So, I don't know, it's, it's so hard because they're, they're the lions.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And we're always rooting for them. They're always the underdog. You want them to be better. They just never are. And then even when they are, they get to the playoffs and the officials take away the game from, uhm, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I still don't feel good about their prospects this season, but I think it's gonna be a really solid, uh, hard knocks. Like Tom said, it felt like better than the last two seasons. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, let's get into this clip.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Ricky got an internship without the dude? Yup. Congrats, Ricky.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Congrats, bro. Congrats. Adam's biggest fan. Out of the restaurant biz and in the sports world.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright Ricky, here's my advice to you. You walk into Altitude, you go knock on Vic Lombardi's office door, you just beat, you just beat down that door until he opens it. And when he does, this is what you say.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, look, I love that clip.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But Aiden Hutchinson ain't got shit on me. 5th grade talent show.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, Andy Hutchinson, he's got a decent set of pipes. Michael Jackson performing bad. Me, one for anything. You performed bad?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it's just nice to like not hit one of your teammates every play too. And for the Broncos, like one of the narratives coming out of there is like Hackett runs a practice where nobody hits each other and everybody's like, is he, is he taking it too easy on the players? Are they going to be ready for the season? So I think like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] For the Brancas media, it's like, okay, well now they're out there getting some of their hits in. They're gonna be okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Now I saw that somebody made that as a meme and then Antonio Brown just screen grabbed it and posted it himself.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I, uh, it's like, yeaah, some meme account did it. I can find that real quick.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, well it's weird that Kyler didn't get one after him.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it's also weird that the only two players to get it are Deshawn Watson and Kirk Cousins.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like most, you know, it's most- 84 mil at the time was a lot. Yea, it was a lot, but like, most of the QB contracts, like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The money is guaranteed those first two to three seasons and Kirk's was only three, so that one doesn't really count. Watson's really is the outlier in terms of all five years, all being fully guaranteed, but.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, I think it's ultimately like a good thing for the NFL if they start guaranteeing more contracts. And I say this only so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When I look at a contract, it's not a fucking lie. I don't have to go, oh, four of these years aren't even real. Right.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Straightforward, I don't gotta go to spot track and then have them tell me which ones are the out years and which ones the money's fake. Just simplify my life, NFL.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] May I ask the chat something? Yes, chat. Are there any doctors in the chats? Any GI doctors? I have a Dr. Pepper right here.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Penile organs are still small, so not swelling yet. There was someone in med school, I just saw.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And self-diagnosed with irritable bowel syndrome. Could have ulcers.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I gotta go back to the GI doctor and it's gonna take a long time so I figured, hey, maybe the YouTube chat could...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know, I disagree. I think we should, I think instead of the presidential debates, we should just get two views of their insights.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because some medical staffs are worse than others.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh yeaah, he's good. Let's trade him. I don't see anything wrong with him. Literally his brain stopped working, doctor. Nah, I don't think so. Put some dirt in there, he'll be just fine.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, just a little. Let me throw it two yards to James White, and then he'll score a touchdown.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wherever he is on the field. Or get me the first, it's like third and twenty. Here's a one yard pass to James White, first down. Oh, top ready is so good! Oh, he threw a screen pass!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think during the Broncos, uh, Super Bowl runs with Terrell Davis, fullback Howard Griffith always like super underrated. Like he was a huge part of the success of the run game. And then in the Super Bowl, he was a stud. Uh, you know, fullbacks, they'll never get credit, but he was really a key part of that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Back in the day, paved the way for TD's 2000 yard season.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Key in the Super Bowl. I believe he scored a touchdown or two in the Super Bowl.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, we talked to Derek Wolf yesterday, and this was Derek Wolf talking about what you'll see.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, uh, we just DMed. Oh, you slid in those DMs. There you go. Do you send a dick pic?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I just thought it was crazy, like him talking about Marshawn Lynch, literally trying to run through his face, and I was like, oh my god, Marshawn Lynch was not kidding.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You just stole my joke, Tom!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We'd build the least successful NFL team of all time. That'd be a fun episode.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Two preseason games and then doing, all teams should have to do the live scrimmage practices against the other team. So like the Broncos and the Cowboys are doing right now. I also think you should get out some of your fights, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I do want, uh, expert, uh, evaluations of what's going on with my stomach. Lot of pain. Lot of pain. Waves of pain. Oh, you should know that from last year.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is it solid or no? Are you a regular? No, the poos are alright.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I thought I ate something bad though, and then it's just not going away.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How'd you get that way? I mean, you get a kid in your life, they push you to the limit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then once you kind of learn to manage it, other shit doesn't bother you. But it sounds like it is bothering you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Gotta get too drunk to do it, and then by that time all the girls are gone.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm gonna go talk to him. I'm gonna go talk to him. And then it's bars closed.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'll stream Branka's Game Saturday, I might have an episode tomorrow, I don't know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Look, what bailed you out was a goal line stand when the Texans were- Oh, there's a hundred bomb right there. Uh, the Texans were about to punch it in!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Work and build and store collective straight core. These means a production greatly forward.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Fight on! Fight on! As we stand! Comrades hand in hand! Ja! Ja! Ja! Hail!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, they will claim it if it, whoever made it, so the music can be in public domain, but whoever played the original music will claim it, because that's how greedy everyone is.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is what I hate about the playoffs is they all say this game is must win, right? Like every game in the playoffs is must win and the lightning really


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Really needed that win to even the series if they want any hope of winning this. And, uh, they came out strong. They had a 2-1 lead. They had a 1-0 lead. They had a 2-1 lead. They gave up a goal late. Now this and, this is- The second goal was kind of fluky.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A little, little fluky, the second goal to tie it up, but here's the thing. If you don't have the puck and you're just letting Colorado take all the shots that they want,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was a very bold strategy to start the overtime by letting Colorado camp in their zone and just take shots at the net.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They, they tried to get that 2-1 lead and rely on Vasilevsky thinking that that would hold up and that just, that's not the NHL now. You can't really sit on a 2-1 goal lead cause it's gonna break. Yeah, not against the Avs.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, uh, Tree and I also had a bet that, uh, I said I took Colorado in six.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is that the only team to ever come back from a three to one? I think the odds, I remember I researched this, no one, no, when a one team came back from 03 and like 1926 or some crap.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, not in the modern era. I think only maybe twice a game seven has even been forced in the finals. So you're, the odds statistically are way against you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, he's already quit like twice now. Maybe he's just tired, but.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think this is a ploy to get him to skip training camp. You know how they, you know how the older players are just like, ah, I don't want to practice.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I just want to say congrats to Deshaun Watson for completing level one of this, uhm, of his great adventure. You know, 20 out of 24, uh, you know, low level bosses right there. He got it done relatively quickly right there, but now he has four big bosses coming up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Then after he gets past that level, he's got the NFL to deal with. The final balls. And then he's got to actually play football. So, I mean, congrats to him and his legal team for, uh, for getting past level one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's been trying to settle it for a while actually. I don't know if you guys know this or, or this is what you guys have said about it. He had tried to, he wanted to get it all done at once.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And he was like, look, I'll give everybody a hundred thousand, whatever 200,000 these last four, I guess maybe something more egregious happened with these last four where they're like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Excuse me, fun. Funny that you asked, Deshaun, we don't want your money. We want a lot of your money. And so I think that these four might have a more, or they're just, they're just angrier at him. I don't know. We'll never know the details of these first 20 because I'm sure as far as this gentleman.


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[Assistant] Anything, all the NDAs, it's all speculation and untruth.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Now, he's, that's why I'm saying he pulled a coup, and I guess he's probably, every day that goes by, things are getting worse for him, and he just wants to get it done.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wait, wait, one last thing before we transition. My biggest...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The thing that I would find so funny is if when Watson finally gets on the field that


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[Assistant] Yeah, but like, what about the Saints? They were really interested in Deshaun Watson. How come they're not in rumored?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He has elite level workouts, I'll tell you that. I, I expect him to be, you ever see that guy that works out in the gym with like the, he's on the bike on top of the squat rack?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, I expect Jameis to be doing that this offseason.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Flying is terrible, everyone's arguing over the second amendment, and Congress is like, you know what we need to do?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, we need to look into the thing that everyone loves. The NFL. We need to investigate.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes, this is like what they did, remember when they did steroids in baseball? They were like, you all get in here, you gotta stop having steroids. Have steroids been ousted from baseball? No.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I remember he did an opening skit to the 2000 Super Bowl, like as it was like a Godfather type skit.


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[Assistant] Uhm, with him and Michael Strahan, and then they went out and proceeded to crush.


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[Assistant] The giants into minced garlic.


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[Assistant] And, uh, he was just a, like I said, he was a beast.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then he was great as a sideline reporter. I think what was funny was his second year or his first year of being a sideline reporter. You could clear, you could clear.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So what, I don't understand what happened to Ferguson. They don't know yet. They don't know.


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[Assistant] Isn't he Cooper's son, right? He's not Peyton or, so he doesn't have the Peyton or Eli jeans.


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[Assistant] Uhm, but you can't blame him for who he had to play. I just know that no matter who you are, whether your last name is Manning or Tebow or whatever, it's hard playing in the SCC and it's gonna be tough for him. So congrats.


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[Assistant] Yes, or here's where it comes into question. You got Miami, you got the U, right? So are they not allowed to say the U? Are they just U?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Trademark the most, probably the most used word in the dictionary besides A, right? A and B.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No one can say I can't beat the five points vids. What about the Try Guys? Is this just for college teams? How does this work?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, the Knicks are picking at 11. They better take somebody from the Balkan Peninsula. That's all I have to say. Like, if he's Serbian or whatever, I don't care as long as he's from. If he enjoys...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, weird horror movies and his last name ends in IC. Put him on the team.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Or Zingus for all the crap. You know, like how he talked all that crap. He had one good season and then he got traded out to Dallas in a surprise move.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He looks like one of the background characters in 2K, like he just never, he doesn't get a speaking role in the, my career.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, just to wrap up the, uh, Austin Matthews won the MVP for the NHL, which is called the Heart Trophy, and then Igor Shosturkin won the Vezna, and, uhm, Kaelin Carr- He's on the Rangers!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And also, if the Lightning, at this point, if we come back next weekend, the series is over, Tom will have jinxed both of our franchises, Scooter, by attending that game five, between the Lightning and the Rangers.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, so I'll paint it as it's being red. Excellent. Perfect. Alright, can we do the countdown so that we can get-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Stop playing. F-I-N-N. This is my favorite doll ever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] After this, uhm, show, I have a story about this minor league pitcher who was shot and killed.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think McCaulkin would do it for the money too.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I hate Twitter, but I love Twitter sometimes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes, today was a day. You guys were brutal. And, uh, I'm here for it. But football is back my toe.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We set up a clickbait clips channel. By the way, we're going to link it in the.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] this weekend and I just opt tonight. But we're gonna


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Are they gonna win? Are they gonna suck? And then we will all predict the Super Bowl winner. The Super Bowl matchup and the Super Bowl winner when we get there. Is that fair?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, you saying that makes me not want to watch it, but anyways.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right, to a multi-million dollar job, like, of course you don't want to do well in your first year. You want to build up. That's what Gettelman did. He just sucked the whole time. He just never got good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He should be decent. Like they, they, they're going to be a team that blows a lot of leads. That's fine. I don't care about that. And if, and no, I know, I know what I'm saying when I'm saying ineffectual, he is not interested in playing football. Okay. That is his attitude when he's been in there. Anyways, don't, don't tell me how that is definitely a


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, it's been this way for 10 years, so I don't even know how, what- So it's routine.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, yeah, we, we had bad dog on the, uh, on the dumpster fire and it was like, dude, when are we ever going to be good? Like some years, you know, you predict we're going all the way to the Super Bowl this year.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, we suck. We're terrible. So we'll see you in, on the golf course in January.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Scooter, Scooter, if you had Dak Prescott for four years and he had made a playoff appearance or even won his division, what would you think of him? Would you think he was a good quarterback?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They didn't like anybody in the draft. They didn't like anybody in the draft. They had bigger holes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I just, I want to say that I learned something today. You read an article about the divorce between


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Pete Carroll and Russell Wilson, and you didn't tweet anything about the Queen. So I see where your priorities are, Brandon. I'm all football.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Don't forget about DraftKings Daily Fantasy, where they have been innovating even more ways to win some cash this football season.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So download the DraftKings Act Sportsbook. Now, new customers use promo code.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They don't wanna talk because me and Tree suck at selling it. Brandon's the only one that knows how to sell their freakin' coffee.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Let's go. Alright, the other part of the show was to predict the Super Bowl winner so we can do that for the next say 10 minutes and then wrap up the show. Tom, call us out in the order you please. TREAT!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, look, the New York Giants will not be playing in the Super Bowl. It will be!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The Buffalo Bills versus, and this hurts to say it, the Green Bay Packers.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Anymore in the league. We need to get him to the Super Bowl. So we'll have him face the young gunslinger.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That was the funniest thing I've seen all day and I was on Twitter today, so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, saying, like, a Jamaican guy saying top of the morning to ya. Just like, ayy mon, top of the mornin'.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, let's see, Overly Cocky, uh, saying that they're gonna go to the Super Bowl every single season, uh, when they have done nothing in the past to actually earn that success.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, I would say overall Douchebagery in which, uh, you know, you go to a game and whether they're just like terrible people or they boo Santa or something like that. So like, well, I don't think the Eagles are like God awful. They're like one of the worst just because of previous things. So yeah, I would say that those are some of the criteria.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Can I, uh, is it possible to change a tier from bad to sad? Cause I feel like there's more sad.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Packers are at least good. We are like one of the best traveling fanbases in the NFL. We have been sold out. It takes 40 years just to get to the front of a season ticket holder.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I will say, Buccaneers fans are like die-hard fans. They now get a lot of hate because Tom Brady has brought them success, but I mean,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I do think collectively they get a very bad rap because of previous incidents, but I have talked to a lot of Eagles fans and like they've been fine.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They did punch a police horse. Like, they did. They, they did punch a police horse. You know, they, they didn't do, violent I think is, is good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] With the Rams, I say they're fake too. Because I think they don't show up to their games. They just won the Super Bowl and nobody cared. You know, I mean, they're basically the LA crowd now. And I'm not saying that's all Ram fans, but I'm saying overall, I'm thinking there's some fakeness going on. Like you just said, the Lions were more happy about it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Don't you dare. Nope. They're not good. No. No, we're voting.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So uhm, we're annoying because we're rooting for our current players on the team. I mean, listen, I know you're giving yours away for 5th round picks, but in terms of us...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, oh, okay, so hold on. Wait, now we're going with death threats for fanbases? Cause I'm pretty sure every single one of your fanbases have done death threats. Not mine.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I, I will go to that then for the Ravens because like, like 5 just said, if you're saying, like, it got a tired, tired old meme, right? Being like, oh, Lamar Jackson's running back, running back, running back. Like the guy is a good QB and can let it sling. So like, I would get annoyed if that was just like the constant thing that was said over and over and over again.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You doubtless cowboys because of your cooch's ineptitude threw trash at the referee.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How do you make Tom the feature? We can just talk, it's okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The Vikings fanbase, I actually, ugh. Alright, I like the Lions fanbase a lot more. I do.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The bears are slightly above, slightly above the Vikings.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The Vikings for me. Every single year.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They are swan, cocky as hell. But the reason I am going to argue that they need to go in the bad category is because they celebrated and still do breaking Aaron Rodgers' collarbone. They put it in their newspapers, you have them frame photos.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] By far. Like they're celebrating breaking a guy who's not even on their team. Breaking their caliber. So yea, no, they're bad.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yep, Legion of Boom. They were insufferable FOREVER.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know what, I put you guys, instead of average or bad, I put you guys at average. I used to not like you a lot more, but I despise the other Jersey fanbase so much more.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because I've been to so many games that met life in old metal lands. Yeah, the Jets fans. I disagree.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Honestly, I would put worst, they, they for me are worst or bad.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, no, no, no, no, no, no. I put them at the worst because they're a bunch of violent a-holes. Like, I brought my, he was 12 at the time, my 12 year old brother, to the 9-0 game, where the Packers won 9-0 against the Jets.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And that kid got cursed out so many times. He's 12. Got cursed out. So this is years ago.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, alright, so here's the thing, and I'm curious. So on the Friday night Q&A, uh, last week, something was unearthed. Apparently, on Amazon, someone has written five volumes, not saying all five volumes, of Bigfoot erotic fiction.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And the idea for the punishment was that someone had to buy one of the books and select multiple passages to share from and read aloud.


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[Assistant] Yeah, is the punishment scooter, scooter's being punished because he has to keep doing the show with us?


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[Assistant] We'll be at the Broker game next Thursday, so. Speaking of finesse. Maybe I'll see Amazon. Wait, what's Jeff Bezos like, Scooter?


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[Assistant] Holograms. Is there a Jeff Bezos hologram wherever Amazon goes? Oh yea, NFT is.


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[Assistant] In terms of running style, Forrest Gump was most like, uh, Chris Johnson. CK, CJ 2K.


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[Assistant] Well, I just did a video about Brandon Marshall and Brandon Marshall had a thousand yard season with Kyle Orton.


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[Assistant] But if you were a Broncos fan watching Kyle Orton, that's when you first learned how incredibly boring football could be. Kyle Orton was like a warm up for the last five years of what Broncos fans have watched. So Josh McDaniel's wrong. Wrong, wrong.


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[Assistant] Uh, DJ Williams, former Broncos linebacker, and they were talking about, uh, Josh McDaniels. And DJ Williams was giving Josh McDaniels credit, saying that he was, uh,


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[Assistant] The smartest coach he had ever been around and he knew the game better than anyone. And when they were able to go out there and execute and.


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[Assistant] He told them to do, like, what they'd studied, like, how to play certain looks. He's like, he was right. Like, that's, we would win that way. We started out 6-0.


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[Assistant] And he had this timeline messed up, but cause while Josh McDaniels was there, he got caught.


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[Assistant] Buying on other teams walkthroughs. So he brought that part of New England with him.


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[Assistant] And he was like, after he got spy- got caught spying, uh...


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[Assistant] Yeah, it was like his best friend that he brought over, uh, to do the spying. He threw that guy under the bus and then, you know, he eventually got fired. Uhm, but it was about like he didn't know how to deal with people, right?


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[Assistant] Oh, go ahead. No, that's just part of like being a head coach. Like you gotta have both of those skillsets.


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[Assistant] It was, I mean at first it was great because the Broncos did start 6-0 and they beat the Patriots in that 6-0 run and like, this was before


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[Assistant] Every single Belichick coach like had failed.


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[Assistant] Yeah, it was hard though because the broncas were moving on from Mike Shanahan, who we all love, but it kind of just felt like it was time for a change. But like, you know, they were winning.


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[Assistant] But like, McDaniels came in and he trades away Jay Cutler, trades away Tony Scheffler, uh, they eventually trade Brandon Marshall. Now...


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[Assistant] Before he left, he drafts, you know, Demarius Thomas and Eric Decker, and they started to like- Tim Tebow. Yeah, he moved up to get Tebow, but, uh, yeah, it was- Coodle was happy about that.


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[Assistant] You can tell things are bad and then it's more like the longer.


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[Assistant] He's been away and now the way like athletes feel comfortable talking about their experience in the NFL honestly, because there's so many like platforms and podcasts and.


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[Assistant] It's just like incredible. The, like, this Tyler Palumbra story doesn't feel like news at all to me because I feel like I've heard this stuff so many times about Josh McDaniels. Like we just know it here.


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[Assistant] So it's just funny because, you know, the Broncos are playing the Raiders this week, so it's kind of like a big thing, but yeaah. He was horrible with people. Just absolutely horrible.


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[Assistant] We keep hearing it's gonna be, it's, the Raiders are the team where like if the offense doesn't look good, I'm going to be in panic mode.


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[Assistant] Because the Raiders, like their weakness, their defense is not good. They don't have a great offensive line. I think our pass rushes is getting better.


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[Assistant] But yeaah, it's, I mean, if I could sum up how I feel.


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[Assistant] Here's the thing, nobody, not a single person has mentioned about Cooper Rush. What's that?


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[Assistant] Two is like, if the play is called to go to Tyreek and he's one on one with Eli Apple, I'm probably throwing him the ball.


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[Assistant] Yeah, I think the Dolphins are the better team, but I feel like it's a weird week for the Dolphins, uh, that I think that game was taxing, um,


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[Assistant] It's just like a short week, in a short week where I think the Dolphins had to leave early to Cincinnati because of the hurricane. Like it's just all of that stuff. And I, for Thursday night footballs, at this like,


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[Assistant] I would feel very good about saying the Dolphins will win. Now I feel like it's, it's a toss up and I'm kind of leaning towards the Bengals because I think.


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[Assistant] The panther should trade Christian McCaffrey right now.


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[Assistant] They need to trade him to the 49ers. Boom, put him with Kyle Shanahan, John Lynch, uh, guys who knew him as a child, who can actually utilize a running back, and uh.


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[Assistant] Yeah, there was some, what was the, there was a really, like, bizarre stat that had the similarity between those two plays. Oh my god, I can't remember it right now. Oh man. It's something that tied them together really well. I wonder if I can...


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[Assistant] Orlovsky lost 10 to 12, that's what it was.


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[Assistant] I am so scared for this game. I'm like, it's weird. I'm going between like being overly confident about this game and incredibly paranoid about it. That's what I was thinking.


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[Assistant] That has a lot of talent on the roster, which the raiders do. I hate him. I'll talk all the crap to him.


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[Assistant] It just feels like the Raiders, their own three, but like those games they've lost. They've left a lot of plays on the field. Should have been points. Now the Broncos have done the same thing. I trust the Broncos defense, but yeah, I'm, I'm.


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[Assistant] They do have to play the Cowboys twice and the Cowboys don't get to play the Cowboys twice.


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[Assistant] That's funny, somebody's gotta punt a ball into trees arse.


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[Assistant] Yes, uh, if you guys recall about three weeks ago, I was the winner slash loser of the punishment and I was supposed to watch 80 for Brady.


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[Assistant] And then, and then give you guys a review of the movie while wearing a female Tom Brady jersey and picking one of the characters who I liked, who was my favorite. And so now here I am.


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[Assistant] I could, I could, but I've realized that I have the probably the least feminine looking face.


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[Assistant] Of the group, I would say Perna, if he shaved his beard, would probably be...


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[Assistant] Uhm, the hottest girl out of us all. Now, I'm a little, uhm. I don't know. Scooter is up there.


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[Assistant] So you have a massive erection.


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[Assistant] She decides that she wants to go to Super Bowl because she had some cancer tests or something or she was worried about it.


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[Assistant] And, uh, so in order, they can't afford the tickets because this is a fictional movie, and they enter in a contest, and they win the tickets!


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[Assistant] There were some funny moments. It was mostly campy and predictable. Uh, Jane Fonda looks amazing. Okay, like, she's like 90 some odd years old. But, uh, however, whatever airbrushing and sandblasting they had to do to get her to look good,


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[Assistant] She looked great. Jane Fonda is an all time good looking woman. So anyways.


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[Assistant] They go to the Super Bowl. They lose the tickets. They of course cannot find any tickets. There's a very, uh, cheesy scene. Hold on, hold on. Spoiler alert!


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[Assistant] Oh yeaah. None of you are going to see this dang movie, okay? Do not watch this movie. It was $20 on Amazon Prime, okay? $20?


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[Assistant] Now, the absolute best part of the movie.


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[Assistant] Was not the cheesy jokes. It wasn't Sally Field in her strap on or calling Guy Fieri, Guy Ferrari. It was that this movie was set in for Super Bowl 51.


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[Assistant] Oh boy. Houston at NRG Stadium and it was 28 to 3. So of course naturally the Patriots get down big and they're losing but then


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[Assistant] The four ladies break into Matt Patricia's defensive coordinator room and tell Matt Patricia to run cover one instead of cover two and they sack Ryan. Now,


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[Assistant] It was really surprising to me that the NFL hasn't claimed this movie for copyright because they used a lot of actual NFL footage.


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[Assistant] In the movie itself. I'm guessing they got permission. Yeah, I'm sure. I'm surprised I was able to watch it that they didn't block it. So then, Sally Field.


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[Assistant] Yes, or, uh, no, it's Lily Tomlin gets on the mic. She's able to communicate directly to Tom Brady through his headset. And she's like, Tom.


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[Assistant] I believe in you. You're down 28 to 3, but you can do it. It's like really emotional. She's like, when I was in chemo, I said, I just have to get, dig down and, and, and, and do it. And then Tom Brady's like, looks up. This is extremely, no, Matt, it's, it's an actor playing Matt Patrice.


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[Assistant] It's shtick, okay. And then naturally, of course, it's historical. They go out and win. Then the ladies get together. They kind of allude that the mother had cancer, but she doesn't. It's a happy ending for us all. We all hug. And then we find out that it was actually based on a true story of women who were called over


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[Assistant] My agent, uh, will be in touch.


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[Assistant] Hey, that's how it usually is for me and I don't, I don't wear a mask.


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[Assistant] Let's do that then. Let's do the franchise tag. And, and, uh, I wanna start the segment off by saying what the Ravens have done. Sneaky evil genius level.


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[Assistant] The Ravens basically said Lamar. Lamar.


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[Assistant] Why don't you go out and prove that you're worth 250 million? And if some other idiot franchise wants to do that, let's let em!


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[Assistant] But if anyone comes in with an offer, say lower than that, all we gotta do is match it. And guess who our quarterback is next year? You Lamar! So instead of us arguing with you on what you think you're worth, why don't you go and find out? And that's what they said to him. And that... Listen. So,


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[Assistant] The only thing that could end up really kind of screwing the Ravens is if another AFC team was like, let's price Lamar in an area where it's too little for him, you know, for them to, for him to leave, but too much for them to match.


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[Assistant] You see? And that's the only way that they could get screwed, where they are stuck with a big Lamar contract. But still!


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[Assistant] I think it was kind of genius because no one apparently wants to do this. No, where are the offers? These teams are all publicly out on Lamar and uh, looks like he's gonna end up coming back to the Ravens on that franchise tag or matched with the offer.


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[Assistant] I'm gonna have to disagree, like look, I get it, like it's good to, I mean, it's good to have a dialogue about this, but what about Deshaun Watson?


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[Assistant] Right, but he also happens to be African American. Like, I, I just don't think, like, it's, it's, yes, I think that there's something there. Don't get me wrong, like, there's always something there when it comes to race in America. Always. But, uh, I can cite one immediate example of something where


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[Assistant] You know, so another player got...


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[Assistant] I'd pay him 250 million guaranteed. I would take that deal in a heartbeat all day. If the Giants wanted to trade Daniel Jones for him right now, I would take it. No doubt. No doubt.


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[Assistant] He's been perfect as far as character. He's been great. I guess if you're a good person...


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[Assistant] Uh, you're probably just gonna play like crap like Russell Wilson, right? You're gonna get a lot of money and play like crap.


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[Assistant] Okay, let's circle back to Lamar. He had Greg Roman as his OC. Like, he was... So they built the...


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[Assistant] That's like saying I was a minor league baseball player. Like, I, I... You were! That's, yeah. Okay.


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[Assistant] Deshaun Watson's former team, the Houston Texans, they have a ton of cap space, they have the draft picks from trading Deshaun Watson, and they could do, they are just dumb enough to do that.


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[Assistant] Then credit him for sticking to his guns. And he's gonna get a guaranteed deal.


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[Assistant] Outside of that max deal with Fully Guarantee,


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[Assistant] The Ravens are gonna off match whatever comes in. I think some other team will go for, for, uh,


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[Assistant] Yes. Uh, uh, well see, the giant situation is a little different. Uh, here's the thing, Scooter, I hope you have Despacito in your playlist, because you're going to be playing that song when they cut Ezekiel Elliott, and uh, it's going to be sad, and uh, it's happening.


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[Assistant] Great running back. So we talked, we talked about this before the show. I said somebody in the Cowboys organization will get Jerry Jones to the side, show him a whiteboard that says this is Zeke's production and this is Zeke's salary. Okay.


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[Assistant] Now, I'm not a mathematician, but these two are off. Now, what do you want to do, Jarrah? And he's like, I'll just bring them back.


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[Assistant] I think that another team will offer Saekwon a better deal, and if it's anything above the cap number, the Giants will not match.


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[Assistant] Just think about it, he's, this is a running back, like you said, running back, deep draft, and


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[Assistant] The Giants just signed their quarterback. That was really the issue that they wanted to address. And that's done. And if Saquon wants to come back, fine. Maybe someone, I mean,


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[Assistant] Maybe someone makes him a deal that's reasonable, but I just don't see any reason, unfortunately, in today's NFL to give a running back a second contract. It's no matter how special he is. What running back on his second contract really actually delivered besides Adrian Peterson, who was a freak.


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[Assistant] Would you rather have your team win a Super Bowl and Ezekiel Elliott on the Patriots or Ezekiel Elliott on the Cowboys for the next 10 years and you guys don't even get close?


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[Assistant] I care about Super Bowls. I care about wins. I don't care about who does it. Except for Eli Manning.


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[Assistant] Right, but Tyrod Taylor is the backup, so we didn't really have an alternative. Daniel Jones is developing. Dave Bull is the guy that should have gotten 40 million, okay? Like, they should have given him the 40 million, but we'll see.


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[Assistant] Tom, were you upset that they hired Rob Grosso as their coach? Do you think that uh, what was it?


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[Assistant] That's what I'm saying, did you think, did you think that Mark Murphy was like, get me Tom Grassi, and they were like, oh, Rob Grasso, close enough.


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[Assistant] I think, I think Robbie Gold got franchised today. Yeah, one year the Giants like tagged the Long Snapper or something.


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[Assistant] Sometimes they have, I think they change the rules, but at one point you had to use it, right? You had to tag somebody.


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[Assistant] Alright, can we talk about Aaron Rodgers? Yea, let's get to Aaron.


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[Assistant] Uh, Tom, this sounds like the shame spiel that you have, uh.


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[Assistant] You had the corpse of Drew Bledsoe. That was also really funny.


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[Assistant] I think the Packers want Jordan Love. Like, I think that they're ready to move on to him. Like, I think that they're fine with it. And that they are ready to Brett Favre Aaron Rodgers because it worked at that time and maybe they have one in Jordan Love.


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[Assistant] NIL or whatever with college, like, stop.


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[Assistant] Yeah, well then someone could stall though. Someone could stall. Ooh, a duet punishment.


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[Assistant] Here's the thing. I have not heard Scooter sing on this for any reason. I have not heard Scooter sing a song. Uh, I don't know if he can sing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I have a full breakdown of the New York Giants boat picture coming out after this.


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[Assistant] Wow. Yeah, now he's using synonyms. Alright, yes. Yes, welcome to the show. And well, the funny part is, is we agreed that I would take the lead off and Tree just starts spouting diarrhea.


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[Assistant] Fock draft where we try to pretend like we know what things are to do about football.


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[Assistant] Last week we did the most trolling-est draft ever. This week we're gonna do the worst serious draft. Oh wait, Brandon, you do have a punishment to make right. Yep. And also, we are


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[Assistant] You're fast. Can we get some W's? I think I would run a 10 second.


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[Assistant] Uhm, 40 and the second half would be me crying.


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[Assistant] You gotta, you gotta let me tell this story. So we were out in Dallas.


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[Assistant] I don't think there's a single event in the combine that I would win out of this group.


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[Assistant] So, I, I'm going to, uh, cloud this. I don't know, Tom, you said you hung out with Brett Coleman.


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[Assistant] It just seems like if they were going to get a guy that they say is as raw as Malik Willis, like let him sit behind Jared Goff, Goff's contract is going to expire in, you know, in due time and Malik Willis will be ready to take over and they can just kick Jared Goff over.


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[Assistant] Yeah, they'd be stupid to not take Evan Neil here.


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[Assistant] His faith. If he's, you know, if he's a god-fearing


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[Assistant] Uhm, good ol' boy from, from down south. I think Jack Easterby jumps all over him. You know?


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[Assistant] I, if I have, if you put a gun to my head, I would say they would take Evan Neil. They'd be stupid to take him, not, not to take him at three. So I'm gonna say it.


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[Assistant] I think they either go Stimuli or Gardener. Wow. I wouldn't doubt that.


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[Assistant] Yeah, that sounds like a jet moo. It is possible. I think sauce gardener is the best.


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[Assistant] This team has been bad off has been bad defensively. secondary now. I mean we


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[Assistant] Uh, but I think if Equanu is there, you cannot pass on him to have Andrew Thomas and Equanu on the same offensive line when there's been just really bad line play forever. You know, there was a reason why they ran a sneak on third and nine on their own too because


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[Assistant] They didn't feel confident that the line could hold up to block for even a pass.


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[Assistant] I want him bad, but you just can't pass on Equanu. So I, if I'm the giants, I take Equanu right here because he's such, you could, you could get Karloff this at seven. You could, you could even, you know, draft a DB next at seven based on what's on this board. But, uh, I think there's no way that you just let Equanu go by.


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[Assistant] And uhm, just run around the neighborhood a few laps. Just a few laps. With a thong on.


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[Assistant] That's a given. That's a given. But, you know, I'm going to say Equano here and then we'll see what happens at seven. I'm with you. I'm with five.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yep, stickiest of the icky. Stickiest of the icky.


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[Assistant] That's like the vote of confidence when they're like, look, we're not firing this coach. And they're like, oh, can we bring security in?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, okay. That wouldn't be bad. Go ahead. I think I do just kind of subscribe to the fact that they're taking a quarterback. So I think it would be Howell. I think it would be Howell because he's, you know, North Carolina. I think it's Pickett.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay guys, could we log in, log in, tibetot? It's tibetot. If, if tibetot is available at 7, that means that we have had a fan-tastic draft.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The thing is, okay, so if we get Iguanu and Thibodeau, I will shotgun.


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[Assistant] A twisted T right on and during the drag show. I'll just write to the face. Because that's what real men do.


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[Assistant] But he has the big play. He's like the Julio Jones type. That's where I see like they're like alright let's repeat Julio Jones with Jameson Williams.


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[Assistant] Gosh, if you're drafting at 8, you gotta take the safest player. I agree, like, somebody else besides Williams would be the better player.


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[Assistant] Listen, they've had major problems on the offensive line. I mean, that's what cost them Russell Wilson, basically. He was like, y'all are not.


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[Assistant] I'm just saying, like, why wouldn't they take Charles Cross? Unless there's somebody there that's, that's just so good that, that they don't need Charles Cross. I'm just, I'm gonna make it, I'm gonna throw in my hat for him. I would like to remember that.


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[Assistant] That is a totally, he's like, who's the biggest freak athlete? Cause we got DK Metcalf, we, and now we got, uh, Trayvon Walker. I just want to watch them. Like, Pete Carroll wants to take his shirt off around them so he can feel inadequate.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The smart thing would be to take Stingley, honestly, like. Well, they already have Sauce Gardener though. Oh, they did take Sauce. Yeah. I can't see the, okay. Nevermind. Then they would take a wide receiver. My bad. My bad.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, they would have to do the dumbest thing possible. Yeah, like Devin Lloyd?


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[Assistant] They would have to do the dumbest thing, like they take George Karloftus or something, you know, like something they don't need because they never, when, other than Chase Young, which was a layup, like when have they taken a pick where you're just like, that was...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's tied in now. No, no, no, no. They'll, they'll, they'll use him somewhere. Alright, that's easy.


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[Assistant] Uuuh, are they taking Drizzy?


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[Assistant] They love drafting receivers that cannot catch. Nelson Aguilar.


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[Assistant] Alright, I can mess with that. We good?


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[Assistant] Hold on, let's put some, let's put some skin in this game, okay.


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[Assistant] What if Kyrie Elam doesn't go at pick 21? Are you gonna do something here? If he goes!


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[Assistant] If he goes, I will attach a plunger to some, somewhere on my body.


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[Assistant] I do feel though, whoever the Patriots take at 21 will probably be a fight, you know, a study. I'm guessing they'll be Dean.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I just feel like whoever they pick, they just don't mess up and everyone's like, why didn't we pick him? And they just feel dumb. Because the Patriots scouting never misses.


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[Assistant] So, I mean, he should be fine. We don't need all that.


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[Assistant] Buffalo gonna get some weapons! Buy more!


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[Assistant] Cause you don't ever disagree with PFF, right Tom? Never. Ever.


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[Assistant] You and Florio, best friend. God. What a frickin' tool.


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[Assistant] The bills have the 57th overall pick and any one of these guys, I think all of these guys might be available at 57. Who knows?


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[Assistant] I think so, these guys are not like, no one's talking about these guys like they're the second coming.


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[Assistant] Give it to him. Give it to him. If Tom Brady's coming back, he's gonna want somebody, you know, in front of him. Y'all like Skymore?


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[Assistant] That seems to be the formula lately for wide receivers. If they dropped a lot in college, they catch everything in the pros. Look at, uh, Jamar Chase. So.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know. Give him a wide receiver, just whoever's best. Skymore?


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[Assistant] They got two picks in a row. They can do whatever right here. I mean, they're like at the end of the snake draft in fantasy.


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[Assistant] I think, I think every like fifth pick some of us should throw out a made up player and see if anyone can detect it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Someone might pull a, uh, Nancy Kerrigan on Eli Apple and just be like, you gotta start, uh, Daxton Hill next week. Wanna give him Daxton?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think they should go with Desquarius Williams here.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm gonna say no. I'm gonna say that he might have been on a bachelor party and said, guys, I'll be over here at this Applebee's.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yup. Yes, critique him and just say how, how, if this really did make him more credible in the rap game. But listen guys, that's gonna do it for clickbait.


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[Assistant] I say Jets. I think the Jets probably because that's where his best years were.


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[Assistant] Oh, ooooh. First time we're introduced to Fitception.


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[Assistant] I got a jacket. And pants.


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[Assistant] San Francisco is moving on with a 13-10 win here at Lambeau and this crowd and that Packers team is stunned.


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[Assistant] For 1918, 17, 16, 15, 4. The Falcons are so bad they'll probably draft Sky more. The Giants, oh my god, they probably just trade their picks. And treat, well, you know. My name's Scooter and I've never been


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[Assistant] So hold on, we made it. Whoops. One minute. By the way, seeing Tom in that outfit, I can only say one thing.


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[Assistant] Alright, uh, Tree, uh, you seem to have a team that you love to root for. Yes, I do. And, uh, I don't know where- It's a love-hate relationship.


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[Assistant] Listen here, uh, the Steelers are a bottom third offense. They're ranked, uh, I think 2019th here in offense. And defense, they're also a bottom third defense. They're actually identical on both offense and defense. Same ranking in the bottom third. I think 21st.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Or 20th. So what makes you think that a team that is, you know, uh, only as good as one third of the, um,


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[Assistant] Uh, I don't know, I got a 50 bomb from Grafton T. Roll, which I missed. I've got nothing, which is good to me.


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[Assistant] Um, Perna, what odds do you give the Steelers actually making the Super Bowl? 11.


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[Assistant] Now, that's what I want to know. All the steel mills are closed. What do people do in Pittsburgh now?


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[Assistant] Yeah, I went exactly 500 last, uhm.


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[Assistant] I bet the Lions, they won.


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[Assistant] The Broncos lost me money, the Ravens lost me money, but the Cowboys won. So this week, I got the Seahawks minus eight. I don't know why I took that. And the Bengals minus one.


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[Assistant] The Texans are awful.


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[Assistant] Yeah, Niners. It's basically a Pick'em, so I just was like, F it. Let's do a Pick'em.


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[Assistant] Yeah, you know, as a Giants fan, we'll take them all day. I mean, yeah, well, you'll take them over. Obviously, like Daniel Jones is just not proven to be


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, the solution and now he's adding unavailability to his resume of already shaky pocket presents and they're gonna have to start Jake from State Farm this weekend.


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[Assistant] Uh, could be starting. So yeaah, we would take a listen in a heartbeat. I think, you know, the cap situation is probably easy to circumvent in New York. I think a couple wide receiver like Sterling Shepard could get be, get rid of. Evan Ingram could be dropped. Uh, they, they could find them. Nate Solders


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[Assistant] And, uh, they're gonna start all over again, so.


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[Assistant] I just don't see how Russell Wilson would want to come to a team that has another banged up O line considering he hasn't really had a situation other than, you know, when he won the Super Bowl where he had a great, you know, or at least a decent line in front of him. He hasn't had a line in four years.


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[Assistant] And he's dragged that team to the playoffs. Like he's been.


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[Assistant] Yeah, yeah, he's getting sacked to death. And it's not like he's a, you know, a typical running quarterback. He usually only likes to run in the fourth quarter. He does like to play in the pocket. Like, he's not out there to just run. He likes to throw. He likes to sling. Yeah, he likes to sling it. So, I don't know if he would, like, yeah, he's a giant.


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[Assistant] Obviously the Giants would take them because we need something to hold on to, some type of hope, but the smart move is to just blow it up and start all over again and maybe win a Super Bowl.


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[Assistant] Speaking of Big Ben, there's been a lot of chatter that he has privately said that this is his last year.


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[Assistant] Yeah, yeah, alright. Uhm, we talked about this, we've talked about this quite a bit with Uche, uh, former Jacksonville Jaguar, Urban Meyer, and James Robinson.


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[Assistant] Urban Meyer still talking clownness. It's already, it's week 14.


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[Assistant] And Urban Meyer still doesn't look like he's gained that locker room.


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[Assistant] You guys' thoughts. I haven't heard y'all. I know what Tree's thoughts are, but I haven't heard Berno or Tom Grassi's thoughts.


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[Assistant] No, but I said this last night, it's like, okay, if their record was 10 and 2, then things like this is like, wow, Urban Meyer is doing a great job. He's really reinforcing that ball security, you know, benching. Wow, what a brave step to take James Robinson out. You know, this 10, 10 win team, you know, this is how they get things done. When you're 2 and 10, everything you say sounds stupid.


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[Assistant] That's the only name I can pull out of a hat that successfully graduated from, you know, from college back to the NFL and had success in the, uh, in the big leagues.


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[Assistant] Like college, they're just two different things, and it's fine. It's two different games. It's not the same.


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[Assistant] of the day. Gardner Minshew comes in to Philly.


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[Assistant] No, here's how the quote went. He said, people said that Van Gogh wouldn't be a good painter cause he only had one ear and Van Gogh said, I can't hear you. What?


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[Assistant] That was a man. If I see that picture, I get this.


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[Assistant] I think if tree wins that he should have to replicate one of the guys in the thumbnail. Whoa. That, uh, that I created. Hold on.


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[Assistant] Oh, Jill Coy. Yes, alright. I look like him the most. Thanks.


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[Assistant] Okay, uh, this is an interesting game coming up this weekend. The Cowboys, since we're talking about the NFC East, the Cowboys are actually playing the Redskins, right? Aren't they? I think so. The football team, Adam.


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[Assistant] Yes. Oh, sorry. I just got us all cancelled.


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[Assistant] Uh, they're playing at one o'clock. They're actually playing meaningful football for once. Uhm, and Scooter's not here, so I'll just imitate Scooter. Do what you gotta do, man. The Dallas Cowboys will win this game. Let's go, Cowboys. Let's go.


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[Assistant] I think, I think it's interesting. I think the Cowboys are going to blow their doors off. I think, uh, Taylor Heinecke finally shows who he is. Washington has been beating some very sus teams by a margin of two to six points. They did beat the Buccaneers in a trap game a long time ago. Like I don't even remember that.


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[Assistant] I think that this one's gonna be like Cowboys by...


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[Assistant] Yeah. Oh, so Mike McCarthy has said that he's already guaranteed to win. He said, Mike McCarthy says Dallas Cowboys are going to win Sunday against the Washington football team.


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[Assistant] Yeah, they were supposed to be the dynamic duo and they're winning without them.


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[Assistant] Uh, playoff clinching scenarios.


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[Assistant] Mhm. Just like a married man, Santa only comes once a year. Look, the Cardinals, the Packers, and the Buccaneers can clinch a playoff spot. You get it now, Tom? Oh, you're just wiping your face. You're not actually laughing. Uhm, look.


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[Assistant] Okay, and then Tampa Bay clinches a berth with, they have to tie?


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[Assistant] A Carolina loss, a New Orleans loss, a Minnesota loss, a San Francisco loss or tie, and a Washington loss or tie.


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[Assistant] But if you bet that as a parlay, you could win some serious money. Where would you bet that if you were going to bet that as a parlay?


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[Assistant] Pro tip right here, if you're on the app when you sign up, go to the bottom right, there's a promo button that you want to click on and that's where you type in the code.


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[Assistant] We don't recommend using the DraftKings app to, uh, do your taxes, but I mean, what works for you?


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[Assistant] Alright, speaking of those clinching scenarios, uh, the Cardinals being one of them in that clinching scenario here.


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[Assistant] Why is nobody respecting the Cardinals? They're the, they've got the best record in the NFL. They're 10 and 2. They're leading their division. And yet if you were to ask, I would think if you asked all four of us who's going to the Superbowl from the NFC, you're not saying the Cardinals. Why is that Brandon Perna? He's not paying attention.


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[Assistant] Why is nobody respecting the Cardinals? Like, who would you pick right now, Brandon, to win the NFC and represent the NFC in the Super Bowl? Would it be the Cardinals?


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[Assistant] So if the Steelers go to the Super Bowl to play the Cardinals, is that the revenge?


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[Assistant] What do you think Trey? Do you think, who do, who would you pick right now to represent the NFC?


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[Assistant] Yeah, you should match their strategy because Ben can't throw either.


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[Assistant] I'm just shocked that we're at week 14 already, like this season has flown by!


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[Assistant] Alright, the college football playoff is set.


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[Assistant] Well, I'm glad that you explained that. So which horse is gonna win the uh, college football jousting matchup?


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[Assistant] The clip of Jared Goff's girlfriend just proves that he won on and off the field.


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[Assistant] I think it's gonna be Alabama versus Michigan because if anyone's a bigger choker than Michigan, it's Georgia. And if anyone never chokes, it's Alabama.


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[Assistant] And so Alabama, in my biggest nightmare, Mayor, as a Auburn fan, I say nightmare. Yeah, I do too.


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[Assistant] Because they should have just kneeled when they had the ball. They should have just knelt.


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[Assistant] to win because then I can say we lost to the best in the nation and uh, it's gonna be pretty ugly. I think Cincinnati gets destroyed and the group of five is never invited back to the college football playoff again.


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[Assistant] What, why? What makes it so high quality to live in Boise? It's actually pretty beautiful there.


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[Assistant] I think people have been watching Yellowstone and they want to live out on ranches now and then they get out there and just like this sucks and then they go back to California.


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[Assistant] I've eaten Idaho potatoes. Oh, Udaho? What's in Boise?


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[Assistant] Okay. Alright, uh, we, we debuted this segment last week, which was Storytime. Ooh.


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[Assistant] Uh, Tom, before I get into this, Tom, why do you have two, uh, YouTube plaques in your office?


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[Assistant] But, uh, yeaah, let's Perna, greatest athlete you ever saw actually play. Tom Grazzi.


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[Assistant] Did you see John Elway play? Have you seen him in person?


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[Assistant] We were both there that day. My ex-girlfriend took me. She's now my wife.


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[Assistant] Uh, yeaah, we were both there. We could've been Eskimo buddies in the bathroom that day, Tom. And, um, years later we're now, uh, co-hosts of it.


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[Assistant] Brett Favre, absolutely, him and Schroeder absolutely shredded the New York Heat.


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[Assistant] Yeah. Yeah. Ron Dane had a 60 yard run and that was the all of the New York Giants offense that day. It was a sad, sad game.


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[Assistant] Oh, it was 2001. That's right. Now I remember. It's coming back to me. Yeah. That was 2000.


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[Assistant] No, it was post 9-11. It was awful because they like basically the security was really high that day. I remember dude, I remember.


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[Assistant] Well, that'll knock two years off the sentence.


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[Assistant] Uhm, Mr. Automatic is his name. He made a, uh, supercut of us. Tree, greatest athlete you ever saw.


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[Assistant] I think the first time you go to an NFL game, like you really have no idea how far and how deep they throw the ball. Like on TV, like it looks great, but like you just, when you see it in person, you're like, oh my gosh, these guys is enormous.


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[Assistant] Yeah, like you go to a baseball game, like you can expect, like it doesn't wow you that, you know, cause if you played baseball, like the scale doesn't, the two things that blow your mind is,


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[Assistant] Uh, football game, how far they throw it and in hockey, how fast they're skating. Like you'll never be able to comprehend how, like those guys are going 30 miles an hour on the ice. And you're just like, what, how, why are these guys going so fast?


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[Assistant] Play hockey as a New York Ranger and they lost five to one. Like the game was over in the first period. Like, uh, Wayne Gretzky scored a goal and then they proceeded to give up five. And then I got to see Michael Jordan play basketball as a wizard.


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[Assistant] So it doesn't kinda, kinda doesn't, I didn't get to see peak Jordan on the Bulls, but I did see, uh, Michael Jordan play basketball, which was amazing. I saw Brett Favre as well and Michael Strahan both on the same day with an 11 year old Tom Grosse by my side. I was grooming him at the time. What? Now he's wearing a Frenchman outfit. Uh huh. And, uh,


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[Assistant] Yeah, so I'm seeing some great ones in the chat here. Oh, some guy saw Barry Bonds play either pre or post, um, steroid, but it's really hard to top.


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[Assistant] Michael Jordan and Wayne Gretzky, the respected goats in both of their sports.


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[Assistant] You consider Jagger better than Sidney Crosby? Prime Jagger was a special player.


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[Assistant] Somebody gave me Mendoza Zodinerm, gave me 250 somethings.


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[Assistant] What is that type of currency? CRC? No. It's like, it looks like a P.


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[Assistant] It might be pesos, could be pesos. It's 250 of them, so.


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[Assistant] Here we go. This thing, what is that?


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[Assistant] You've never seen Karate Kid? You're on my bad. Mr. Miyagi came into the locker room and did this magic and just, he said, send the floor. And then he just.


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[Assistant] My thing is I'm going with the Vikings because of the short turnaround and Ben Roethlisberger's age. Like he's going to be so loaded up on the T train that he's barely going to be able to throw balls. So I would just say Vikings by a touchdown and I'm always wrong.


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[Assistant] Does Mike Zimmer get fired if the Vikings lose?


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[Assistant] That would be a perfect scenario. That would give you.


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[Assistant] I think we should punish him for not being here. For one, no.


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[Assistant] We got a valid reason, but uhm, uh, let's do the countdown.


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[Assistant] Alright, I got a last minute, uh, fiverr from Alex Aurora, Jake from State Farm, gonna lead the Giants to the Super Bowl, which brings my total to $66.97. Thank you all for super chatting me, the biggest loser.


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[Assistant] Alright, I think your punishment is you have to stream the game tonight.


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[Assistant] Ugh, god. Alright, oh, tree for a schoolgirl!


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[Assistant] Hmm. We gotta think of something for Trey.


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[Assistant] Tree has to recreate the drip bayless photo.


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[Assistant] Oh, this is, yes, this is perfect because this actually costs some money here. There, oh yeaah.


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[Assistant] What the? So here's another one. Hold on. Have y'all seen?


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[Assistant] Some Nikes, but look, you can go with that too.


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[Assistant] I like the dinner jacket look. But, here you go, super tight shirt. So for you that would be like a schmedium. And uh, black jeans. And then a poster of yourself behind. You got it.


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[Assistant] I thought you were getting an argument with him about contracts. Tom, have you talked to Kurt since he's been, uhm, elevated?


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[Assistant] And I've talked about this all week coming out on kneeling. When to kneel. It's a fascinating math.


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[Assistant] No, it's not that kneeling, it's talk- kneeling to- to-


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[Assistant] Every time, when sometimes I feel really bad, I'll rewatch the game tying montage set to that gladiator music and like, it's really good. And my favorite part after that is Arthur Blank and his, I guess his wife, on the sidelines, nearly in tears.


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[Assistant] We're gonna lose. How could you do this? Alright, we've made it to the end of the show. Scooter's not here. Well, he'll be back next week, hopefully. And, uh, thank you all to coming out for coming out. And Steelers are not going to Superbowl.


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[Assistant] Not much, man, just, uh, trying to survive and hopefully not swear within five minutes. I'm trying to overcome my humiliation that occurred last week. Brandon, be glad you weren't here for that. That was terrible. We would never ever speak of it again. Thank you, copyright gods, for claiming that song to take it down.


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[Assistant] What happened to that guy? He's playing in Atlanta right now. He's their backup. Hot Lana. Who knew?


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[Assistant] He's been bouncing around. He, uh, got screwed over in Arizona because he had no line and died, got traded to Miami, and then he had that one game where Brian Flores said he was the full-time starter, then got benched during the game.


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[Assistant] Greer's only doing this to save his job. And one in five, the alarm bells are ringing, you lose a humiliating fashion to...


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[Assistant] Jacksonville, Urban Meyer grinding out those wins, but at the same time,


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[Assistant] They think that, okay, if you're gonna trade two or three first round picks plus a quarterback to Deshaun and hopefully he plays, hopefully, and then they think it's gonna save it. It's a desperation move.


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[Assistant] I completely agree with you there. I'm looking at the play. Uh, Diggs went underneath because he thought he was getting coverage up top, especially for the safety. I didn't know what the safety was doing. He like, tried to jump for the ball when it was underneath him.


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[Assistant] He has to be the Jets. He always owns the Jets.


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[Assistant] It's plugged everywhere and there's nothing to do on Sunday at 4pm because what else are you going to watch? You're going to watch the Browns get crushed by the Cardinals. Are you going to watch Brandon Perna's Broncos lose to a team without their head coach and just get pantsed on television, regional TV? Do you want that? Do you want to see sad Brandon Perna go like


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[Assistant] Like that in front of the camera the whole time. No, because there's nothing else to watch. People want to watch the Cowboys fail. And if it weren't for Mike McCarthy, you should have crushed the Patriots. The reason why I said this too, be warned, dude.


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[Assistant] Oh, I have it right here. Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, there's one thing I love more than anything else in the world. It's running my mouth and never shutting up. You guys should be punched in the face like Jackson Mahomes right now. It should be beaten and buried in a corner, but you know something, hey,


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[Assistant] Unfortunately, I wasn't beaten up enough in high school, so that's why I'm here right now. But we're gonna talk about money tree. We're gonna talk about making you some money. I think I went one and one this past week. I believe I said that.


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[Assistant] Uhm, the Browns were going to win and they... You're wrong. I was right, the Cardinals didn't win that game, so...


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[Assistant] Hey, money for you. I think I missed on my first one, unfortunately, and I'm very sad because you did not make money. I am not doing well at this. I'm 500. I was expecting zero and zero.


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[Assistant] But it's not happening, but I've got a few more selections for you. First week, let's go Cincinnati and Baltimore. That's going to be an intriguing matchup at CBS. I'm going to be completely honest here.


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[Assistant] But go Cincinnati, I think they've got the tools to win because I jinxed Baltimore right then and there. And for my next game, we're going to go a little different. We're going to go on, um, Kansas City, Tennessee.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Which is gonna be an intriguing game as well. I think Kansas City's really sloppy, they're having a lot of issues, like, like on defense, Derek Henry's gonna run all over him, they're gonna get destroyed.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I say, Tennessee wins that game, and Kansas City is the winner. So with that, you know where you gotta go. You gotta go to DraftKings, and they're giving all new players a deposit up to $1,000. With that first deposit, when you use the code word clickbait right there, you get same day parlays, player props, live betting, so much more.


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[Assistant] If I want to bet against the Denver Broncos tonight against the Cleveland Browns, I bet $1. You know what? I'm in the money and that's all good. Remember to gamble responsibly everyone. And don't forget, screw the Cowboys.


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[Assistant] Did you see that ring? That ring is beautiful. He would know. Maybe, but let's think of it this way. Ben Simmons has never had to deal with a situation like this before. He's been dunked on repeatedly for the past like three months to a year by nearly every single person. Casual observers, analysts.


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[Assistant] But it's just like, but I mean, I mean, Philly's trying to do the tough love angle by giving him fines. It's just, it doesn't work for him because you're going to have to, you know, like build him back up. He can't do it by tough love.


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[Assistant] He's not doing too good right now. They have no talent. They don't know how to use Trevor Lawrence. James Robinson's a thousand yard rusher. You draft a third down back who has a, uh, Lis Frank tear. He's not doing too well right now.


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[Assistant] I remember that because uhm, he uhm, I found him because he did like a parody of Days of Our Steelers one time, and that's how I found him. It's like, he does good shit.


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[Assistant] We got footage of the Sean Taylor retirement ceremony and they just got a bunch of dudes that are in the background here.


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[Assistant] Well, uhm, I finished up Sportsball yesterday. Haters guide to the World Series. I'm hoping to come out this weekend. It depends on how the games play and finish up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Gotcha. And working on a few other things too, but for the most part, I am not just running myself into.


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[Assistant] Are we gonna, you know, of course not, because we're stupid. We have an IQ of-


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[Assistant] Over 100 cases in three days. The Browns now have no quarterback because Nick Mullins has tested, oh sorry, not Nick Mullins, Case Keenum has tested positive. Nick Mullins was signed off the street a couple days ago. He's probably going to be starting against the Raiders.


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[Assistant] that the browns game should be postponed a couple of days. The Washington game should be postponed. It should be. They're not going to do that though because unfortunately the NFL has come out and said


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[Assistant] We've done all the protocol test once a week and the disease can spread on Thursday, friday or saturday


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[Assistant] definitely. That's why yo transmission and even if


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[Assistant] Steelers have had, I think Adams who is defensive t need by the way. He's ou has like a practice squad the same time. It's rough


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[Assistant] Washington who has 20 play


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[Assistant] Cleveland I think is at 20. Rams are at 15. The Lions I think have like 23, 24 players out with injury or illness right now.


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[Assistant] I'm the head ball coach. I'll kick whoever the heck I want.


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[Assistant] I'm very sad. We'll, we'll, we'll get the clicks. That's why we're called clickbait. We're not honest bait sports or honest take sports or like good take sports. We're, we're, we're, we're a, uh, receptacle of really bad, uh, just in your face, clickbaity takes. That's all we are. And that's all we're going to be. We're, we're, we're, we're, we're getting. Brandon.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Garrett was just a puppet for Jerry Jones. We all knew this.


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[Assistant] It sucks to suck, but I've only known two head coaches in my lifetime. So it's between either Bill Cower or Mike Tomlin.


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[Assistant] And then Mike Tomlin, you know, the past decade's been a lot of mediocrity, so call it a coin.


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[Assistant] the world, but they brough because he had like eight


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[Assistant] I mean if you're counting with the Rams, then yes,


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[Assistant] 24 nothing lonely. I'm gonna put two plays. Fourth and inches at the 11 yard lineup, 21 to nothing, they kick a field goal. Fourth and five at their own 30, they fake a punt.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, it didn't, it would still be stupid because you don't go for it on fourth and inches. I get taking the points, but why are, what analytics says to go for it on fourth and five and you're on 30 to fake a punt.


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[Assistant] No, it wasn't. No, Harbaugh was before Kelly. It was Harbaugh, then Tom Silla, then Chip Kelly, then they hired Kyle Shanahan.


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[Assistant] Five. I'm gonna explain this to you. What do you think is more intelligent? This?


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[Assistant] Or this. Man, obviously if I have a pencil or a pen in my ear, it makes me at least 10 times more intelligent looking than I am right now because it makes me seem like I'm in business. I'm a real deal. I'm about to whip out this pen and start writing down notes about how the body feel and everything's going on about a player.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, you know, like, maybe he was just planning for football 20 years.


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[Assistant] I put McDaniels in the cold silver McDaniels from the Broncos of only because he was such a snake that he left like a day after he got hired. It's like, nope, I'm going back to New England.


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[Assistant] My wife caught me cheating with you. I'm gonna have to break up. I'm sorry. I have to save my marriage.


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[Assistant] No, no, no, no, you're looking to the future Jacksonville Jaguars head coach.


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[Assistant] I hope the Jets don't make a mistake and get rid of like Joe Douglas or something. They should.


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[Assistant] Ooh, this looks fancy. Oh, the man himself, the legend, the neck brace of heck.


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[Assistant] And haaaaaaaaven on earth, Bobby Petrino, 2007, comes into the Atlanta Falcons expecting Michael Vick and electric offense. I think he came in from Louisville, if I remember correctly.


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[Assistant] He had come in, realized Michael Vick, uh, he was gonna be their quarterback, and he comes in. Unfortunately, he likes a little thing called, uh, dog fighting.


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[Assistant] And he gets arrested, he goes to jail.


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[Assistant] Uh, match job to Houston So they're screwed. So the likes of Joey Harrington,


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[Assistant] And then he just like, he just goes off, he's like, he sends like a little text, he's like, okay, well, I'm leaving, bye. And then two days later, he goes, he goes and gets hired by Arkansas.


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[Assistant] when he left pity just s a mass text every player. part of the spineless thi I enjoy Todd Graham having nobody likes Todd Graham


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[Assistant] My quick question, I have a quick question. Uh, do we know where those fingers were going underneath the coed? Do we still know?


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[Assistant] His knees better be working to pray for the Lord because he is sully the tight end position in so many ways. He whiffed on so many blocks. Great blocking tight end.


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[Assistant] The great predators always camouflage themselves. Trust issues, dysfunctional environment, selfishness, criteria to examine for struggling teams by our old friend Urban Meyer.


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[Assistant] Well, um, I'll go first. Uh, three 13 98. I don't know why you keep doing stuff.


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[Assistant] I've got another punishment for you. Myself in his bar. You need to buy a sheriff at Green Bay Packers.


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[Assistant] That's Pete Rosell. That is Pete. Legendary troll of the game.


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[Assistant] One, uh, I missed like one or two, but I did want to say one thing.


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[Assistant] This punishment is absolutely terrible. It is just, it's bad. It is, it's so bad.


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[Assistant] When you set it up, Tree, what were you supposed to be punished with? Well, my punishment


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[Assistant] Was that I was supposed to, uh, imitate or replicate the Skip Bayless photographs. Several of them. You can't lose in these shoes. So I was supposed to put on some jewelry.


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[Assistant] A really tight black shirt, a belt, and then like either jeans or sweatpants that look black, and then a pair of shoes. So what I did was, I found some of the ugliest crap you could imagine. I found a really ratty t-shirt, some old sweatpants, I found some ratty shoes that I do the lawn with.


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[Assistant] And I also had like a random, uh, gold, like a fake money chain thing that I was in like a couple months ago. So.


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[Assistant] Uh, this is absolutely terrible. You cannot lose in these shoes. I've tied that belt as tight as I could. I look like a pair.


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[Assistant] And that was where I put like, uh, do you see what's on the left? Oh my god.


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[Assistant] It looks like the average 70s kid on Happy Days.


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[Assistant] I mean, he's still playing with a limp. He's walking around. He didn't practice today.


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[Assistant] So, it would probably be the Tyler Huntley show, and in a game they absolutely need, but they're playing the Rams. So, uh...


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[Assistant] No, I think what happens is they're eight. So what would happen is if they lose, it's going to be a near impossible task. Like every other team that one lost, they'd have to have the Bengals lose.


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[Assistant] Like they'd have to have like a bunch of different scenarios, like, and they also play the Steelers who are also fighting for a playoff spot.


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[Assistant] Hey, hey, don't talk about Ben Roethlisberger's last game because the Steelers are going to the Super Bowl in his honor!


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[Assistant] Hey, that head and shoulders makes good shampoo.


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[Assistant] It's complicated. He sho years ago, but at this po just for Ben this year.


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[Assistant] Steelers are going to the Super Bowl, but unfortunately if we had an offensive line, if we had good play calling, if we had a quarterback that


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[Assistant] If we had a running back that could go anywhere. If we had a healthy defensive line and linebackers that could cover and a secondary that could cover and maybe we could make the Super Bowl. But at the end of the day, it's uh, yeaah. It's everyone's gonna cheer and like, and be like, leader of men.


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[Assistant] And we're, we're screwed because we have no contingency plan.


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[Assistant] They should have moved on from him last year. I mean, dude, like, my idea was...


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[Assistant] Trading Baker for Dak Prescott, but that was before he got resigned.


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[Assistant] Your GM was a member of the Minnesota Vikings. Oh, I know. He might have been in that policy. He might be thinking, hey,


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[Assistant] Her cousins just needs a new everything, and maybe he might be good. Wait a minute. That's all I'm gonna say!


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[Assistant] Alright, they, Divergence poppin' that cherry.


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[Assistant] If, if you've been paying attention to Matt Ruhl, especially over the past couple months, it's a mess.


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[Assistant] They keep putting in Sam they have these two quarte they have no offense. They even though Brady's offe They de scapegoated him. Uh Well, Cam Newton, I feel


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[Assistant] See, I nearly, I, I stopped myself there.


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[Assistant] It means donkey, not buttox. But I did want to say as well, like, don't forget, he compared himself to Jay-Z because it said it took him seven years to build an umpire and like, he's on a seven year contract and it's year two and it looks terrible, but uh, the only way I see Carolina firing him is if they want to swallow the contract, but it's, it's getting bad.


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[Assistant] Georgie Vandegrift, Eduardo Garcia, Henry Han, Sticky, and The Cancer Man. Thank you all for- Wow.


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[Assistant] Raul, cocaine, sugar, pay up, come on, grassy, grassy, grassy.


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[Assistant] We got, we got a couple different offers we could do today. We could do the essay. We could send him to Minnesota to watch the Bears game.


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[Assistant] You should dress in Packers gear and then you should get stuff belted at you.


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[Assistant] Yeah, I'd say the Sean Payton movie because he'd have to go to a theater to see the Kurt Warner movie.


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[Assistant] Well, react or do like a little video review of it.


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[Assistant] Dude, I had a, the Antonio Brown one was like combined with them. It was like two hours. AB had like a 90 minute album.


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[Assistant] Zachary Levi as... It looks so bad. Yes. Alright, hold on. Hold on.


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[Assistant] Well, 88% of users like the movie. It's a 7.6 out of 10 on IMDB. And a 73% on Rotten Tomatoes.


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[Assistant] Thomas kinda threw everything like out of whack, so.


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[Assistant] Let's Rochambeau for host today. Ready? One, two. It's one, two, three, go. Oh, okay. One, two, three, go.


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[Assistant] Being traded away from the Bears. Alan Robinson. We don't know what's going on with that. Uh, Aaron Rodger, we got old news. We got, it seems like a week ago, all this stuff. Aaron Rodger staying put. Russell Wilson to the Broncos. Brandon is still happy.