[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's two ideas here. One, four teams from the AFC West could be in the playoffs because that's how good they might all be.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] All together, but I did bring up the strength of schedule.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Rams, Cardinals have the top two. Look at Tampa. Tom Brady finally, allegedly, has a tough schedule ahead of him.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I can't do a KC logo on the fly.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They could still make a move for a right tackle.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Or theoretically another corner, but they brought in Kaywan Williams from San Francisco. So I think they're, they might be done with the corner position. A tackle, I don't even know who's available, but that would be the one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You erased all of his Broncos related posts. Yep.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] God, please somebody pay tree five hundred dollars. Cause that four hundred dollars might be what it takes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, that one I could bang out probably and have it ready for next week.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Lose! Nailed it. Nailed it. I got my punishment today.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, so uhm, a punishment a little while back was that I had to get some Robbie Gold merchandise and kick


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think my dad got it for me like randomly. I think it was from Mexico.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] See, the question then becomes about QB. I think that's the toughest one for the Packers. Like, on their like, all time, all like, star team. Cause you got Bartstar, who is grossly underrated. You got Breath Vibrate, of course. And then you got Aaron Rodgers, like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] One of my fans asked me basically a long time ago and I was like, I have a great question. Ask me again in the off season and you reminded me in the off season and I was like, I'll bring it up to clickbait and now we're doing our whole show.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Lions, your offense, Calvin Johnson, Matthew Stafford, Barry Sanders.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's between, honestly it's between Rodgers and Star. I love Brett Favre, but it's between Rodgers and Star. And you are choosing... I think you go Rodgers just cause the accuracy. I think that that's, that's the big one. Star is like right there at number two though.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause he had like 8,000 yards by the time he was like all said and done. He had close to like a hundred touchdowns I think too.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Jim Taylor's old school, but I'd probably go Jim Taylor. Then if you're looking past that, you can start looking at guys like, you know, Dorsey Levens, Amon Green, um, Lacey for like five minutes. Like it was great, but he wouldn't be enough like Aaron Jones and, but yeah, I'd probably go old school. I like old school.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What about Sterling Sharp? Sterling Sharp. Oh my god. I'm so upset about his career. Like he definitely, I think he's a Hall of Famer if he keeps playing. Uhm.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know what? Screw it. I'll go Sterling Sharp. I like that. Okay. I'll go Sterling Sharp. I'll go Hudson's Sharp. Sterling Sharp. Good picks. Good picks.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] McCarthy literally never trusted tight ends after that because he structured their whole offense around him and then he got hurt and he was like, well, screwed now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, again, Tackle's where it gets tough, cause like, I think Bakhtiari's in that conversation, like right now, of like guys that you have, but then like you go back and you have like Cal Hubbard, Forrest Gregg, Forrest Gregg has to be there. Uhm, Forrest Gump? Yes, him too.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, Linsley was really good for a while, uhm.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's between two people. I want Jair to get there, but he's not on that list yet. Charles Woodson is one of them, uhm, cause Woodson was one of the best. Herb Adderley is also on there too.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you don't pick Woodson right now, I said if you don't pick


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Easy. He is now a pro football Hall of Famer. Leroy Butler. Leroy Butler. Easy. The creator of the Lambo leap? Yea.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You have the same name too. Crap. Okay, so like, Returner, I have two options. Like, you do have a Desmond Howard, of course. Travis Williams though, I think his record actually still stands. He had like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He had over like 40 yards per return. Like, he didn't play very long. What? Dude, it was wild. His average was 40 yards per return. I'm pretty sure that's still a record.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, dude, 1967, his yards per turn on kickoffs was 41.1.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's not Williams, Ryan Longwell, Crosby's up there too. Uhm, I'll go Ryan Longwell, I like Ryan Longwell.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My vote's for the Packers too, so that's two votes. Suck it, guys!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, head coach, yeaah. Let's do head coach, guys. Vince Lombardi, ever heard of him? Done. It's over. I got Bill Walsh. I got Chuck Knol. I got Mike Campbell.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I will, I will, you name the place. Beer pong, ping pong, let's go.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Can we, uhm, force Purna to shave the chief's logo into his chest hair?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is this doable? I feel like it's doable with his chest air.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, hold on. You do the big KC, but can it actually just be of your hair? Meaning like, you shave everything else off, but it's just a big KC. Yea, it's not the negative KC.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And uh, if at any point in the next couple hours you're entertained by what I got going, you can look in the description for a link to this game that you can get next month when it arrives.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But in the meantime, we got a world to save. And these are the only YouTubers I could think of to save it. Yes. And uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We'll start with the ones that have been on like our fictional world the longest.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, and this is how he found, uh, Scooter, Mack Scooter Grutter, as I named, uh, Scooter's high fantasy stand-in.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, but have since fallen to corruption, uh, at the leadership of Kelly Combs. Uhm.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] His attention between raising Pranko Pegasi, a higher statistic version of Pegasus,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, either way, you, it was no place to raise a child in Lamb & Bow when you were born.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Last night in the pub, uh, the Five Points Wizard was finally ready to bring you guys in on the quest.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, just, it's super simple. Just, uh, just put it out there. Just, just go to the place and put the things. And then, like, you look at the map and it's like, oh, a bunch of these places are really dangerous. Uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But yeaah, last night you guys kinda made a plan, uh, because you received your quests so publicly, uh, like the whole town knows.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] One of the breakfast cookies. So yea, you're gonna go look for Denbrack.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is for deception. Here's my roll.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It actually doesn't affect you, but since it's Pat Shermer, your offense is going to be horrible all season long.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Third and 19, throw a two yard pass to AJ Dillon who has no blockers in front of him. That's your game call all season long.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It tastes like, it tastes like bad intention.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And as you guys are leaving town, you see that there are four of the town's merchants that are waiting out in front of their stores to meet you. They were in the bar last night, and they know that you're going off on a mission.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Specifically, this is the Mecha Fishmonger, the Chicken Injector,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So these guys, like, they know you as regulars, they know you're off on a wizard quest, they, uh, they load you up with, uh, with some stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, there's two glowing purple potions that you guys can keep.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, the Mecha Fishmonger, uh, like laughs and sighs and, uh, like makes a joke about how like you must have been fed too much of the injected chicken.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hi, Lord Piotr Shimmer, uh, famously sacrificed the twin lords drew into various lock bridge with his offensive play calling in a dark ritual that loosed many foul monstrosities onto the queen of Nepal.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, uh, all the other lords of Verdun had to get together their bandermen and burn, uh, Peter Shimmer's, uh, like, valley to the ground.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's more a DM thing, putting up the situation.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, what you, what you do find is, like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But they have black and white stripes all over their bodies.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, uh, so you can see that there are three of these zebir in the field in front of you. They have not seen you yet.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I agree with Tom. I will distract them with...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He takes three damage. Perfect, we're already killin' him boy!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, five. You are invisible in this combat. You can see them, they can't see you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's like a giant fan special thing he can do once a day.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, they see you, but you can still attack.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, so you, uh, you slice at this thing with your daggers, but you slice a little high?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You also, like, needed to have a weapon that involved this motion.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Can I just shoot these referees with my, uh, bow and arrows? I have 20 arrows. For my Verdant Longbow. Yeaah. I also have gold. I could just bribe them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's a crit, baby! That's a crit! Roll your damage. Bam! It is indeed a crit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You, uh, you use your, uh, your...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, and it's time for the yellow spirit trees yinzer barbarians.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, the, the ref blows on his whistle and says, that's too rough. And takes off two of the damage. What? You can't do that. It's a rough call.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A man with, uh, with the same face as, uh, Groth- Groth-Talmarn emerges.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, you guys would recognize this as Breck the Pennyless. Uh, you guys, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cheated him in a sports bet, like several months ago, as I believe was a part of, uh, grassy lore.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, uh, he's been hiding out here in the veil of the shimmering, uh, because he couldn't afford his rent anymore after the frighteners came around.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, so what I would like to do in this situation is, uhm...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] To like, dismount him and take his place in the saddle?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, Brek is quite malnourished, uh, you easily kick him out of the saddle. Now we're gonna roll that handle animal check as like his.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Pegasus, uh, like has to acknowledge you as writer.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, well he's going to do that, but once he does I would like to use the feet of my


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, more, like, you have to resist a little temptation to just fly it back to the ranch right now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I only have it down as Corrupted Pegasus in my notes, so uh, you guys can name that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's my turn, it's my go, right? I think it's my turn. Yellow Spirit Barberry. Oh no, it's not my turn, not my turn.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, I want you to roll a charisma check with disadvantage. You were the guy who said that like, Purna's opponent in the last sky jousting tournament, like, like couldn't lose.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like you, you talked about how like Pernil was, was screwed, but it was like a guy who had never jousted before.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, uh, even in the ancient dialect of the Yenzer barbarians, you get that the flail guy calls him a coward.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, and, and yeaah, like he's, he's not dead, but, but he's, uh, he's unconscious on the ground. At this point,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, you guys are able to see the altar, uh, where, uh, Pyotr Shimmer sacrificed, uh, Dru and Tiberius Lockbridge. And, uh, like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] As you come onto this battlefield, like, you see Perna, like, uh, Perna's character settling a corrupted Pegasus, you see, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Die, they've dismounted, and, like, he tries to run away, you see him take the hit from the yinzer barbarians, and, like, he crumples to the ground, and where all the other guys, like, start thinking about placing the seed and completing the ritual, you keep watching Brex.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] For a little while, and you see that, like, it's not still. It's twitching.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] One, with the red spirit flower.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Where I can find Danvers Snide.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Give me that money, wizard! I can see you! It's me! There he goes!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well there, that's an, that is an interesting question.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] All I really need is the head of Denver's snide, as that will greatly change the perception.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't suppose you wanna take a nap or get knocked unconscious out here in the wild free places of the world and let your mind become a seedbed for the red spirit flower? Too?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're the, you're the big yellow tree yourself. That's so interesting.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] To regrow your root in the henge of red flowers, you best stay on my good side, you understand?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, Tree, I want you to roll what's called a, uh, like, roll a D100 for me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, well if you'd rolled a hundred, we could have ended the campaign right there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And win the game, or hit 100% and win the game.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] As you're facing that direction, you see a Pegasus Knight come into the valley.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Who's very curious to know why all of you guys are doing...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like unknown magic rituals in the ground of the shirmering? Oh, shirmer, yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The question hangs in the air on, on whose authority have you trespassed the shimmering veil?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Five and three, I need you guys to each roll a d20 to see who is going to try and intimidate stand-in Russell Wilson.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Rosso Winslow, you've, you've ruled, uh, Verdun for less than a season. You can't tell me to stay out of, of any place on this continent and...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, well there's a couple things here. In that...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think that a lot of the false hope came from your schedule this year. Because when you break down


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So what I was gonna say was that if you go back and you look, and the only reason I do, cause I watched a bunch of Cowboys games this year, but it was going back through their season and seeing the playoff teams that they beat, they were very few and far between. Like you beat the Patriots, you beat the Eagles, right? Like that was the thing, the last one was for backups.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But you get this, in a lot of those wins or losses, the team was never balanced, in which either the offense showed up for a week and they put up 45 points and they looked amazing, or the defense was godly and, you know, bailed out the offense.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You guys did not do well. And so what wound up happening was you go forward and it never became a balanced football team. The last game you played before the postseason was against backups and the offense just didn't show up like they had multiple time or had not I should say multiple times throughout the season.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So at the end, what I said going into this game was you guys are incredibly penalized in which there's no discipline on the team. The offense just doesn't show up. You get away from the run game way too easy. And so if it's not Zeke, you know, go with Pollard who has a hot hand and you've done it a couple of times this season, but for some reason you're like, eh, the run doesn't matter anymore.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And because of, and the 49ers gave you every opportunity to be like, here you go, we don't want to win. And then.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, like this, this comes down to coaching. I think if you're having 14 penalties in a playoff game, like that's inexcusable. You know, we could talk about like the draw play, which I actually liked. If there's a little bit of time left, I actually liked the draw play because you caught him off guard. Maybe you try to get out of bounds a little bit, but whatever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But yeaah, I think it's just as a whole, it's a whole team loss, but you have to look at the offense and you have to look at the coaching. So that's what I would say.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But dude, if you understand the difference though, like, I'm the only one who actually has a team in the playoffs right now. And the amount of trash that I'm talking is so minimal.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, like, here's the thing, is that, real quick, like, this circulated after the loss, like, Scooter, did you see that, like, McCarthy, like, the answer he gave to Jerry Jones and then talked about in the press conference that he watched every single snap of the 2019 season, and then when he was, like, questioned about it, he's like, no, I didn't really do that, I just wanted the job.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] On the Twitter, so basically McCarthy, in his job interview with Jerry Jones, said he watched every single snap of the 2019 season, and Jerry Jones was very impressed. He then was asked that in a follow-up in a press conference, and he was like, oh no, I just told him that because I wanted to get the job.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So like, he legit, so I think that the good news is Micah Parsons is an absolute stud. I mean, I think that he's one of the biggest reasons why her defense was so good this year, but yeah, it comes down to head coaching. And if Jerry Jones is saying that's off the table of him getting fired, then I don't know what.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, the Bills I think were the most impressive. Josh Allen had more touchdowns than incompletions. It was against an actual defense. While the Buccaneers and Chiefs actually, like, you know, dismantled their opponents, I think the Patriots were the best of the opponents that, you know, compared to those two, so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, the Bills look good because they finally committed to a damn running game, like Singletary has over 200 yards and like multiple touchdowns in the past three games. He's rocking it, so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The offensive line is actually blocking too because, you know, you look at the Jaguars game where they lost, like Alan was getting murdered by Josh Allen. And so like you saw that and you saw how bad they were. They weren't running the football. It was all on Josh Allen and they've won games like that this year before.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If they're gonna be an elite team and go to the Super Bowl, they need to have the exact same performance they did against the Patriots. Like I think if they beat the Chiefs, they're going to the Super Bowl for the AFC.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right now, so Randall Cobb is definitely playing on Saturday. Billy Turner is definitely playing on Saturday. If Zedaria Smith is going to play, he's got to get activated tomorrow. David Bakhtiari, uh, and also Jair Alexander are questionable, and MVS is doubtful. So even if we get a handful of those guys back, like even half of them,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think the Packers are looking great. Obviously the, the Titans are pretty rested now. We'll see what happens with Derek Henry, but yeah, the Packers, especially Bach can play.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I mean, there's only one team, right? There's only one team that, like, can be happy about the season. You have, like, pity wins and, like, you know, moral victories, like the Bengals, for example. Like, the Bengals, how far they've got, they've won their division, what have you. Like, they will be happy with the season, but Burrow even said, this is the bare minimum now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A true ending. Like, it's really an ending. Because like, Rodgers most likely is not, most likely not going to be there. Devontae Adams is likely not going to be there. Zedarius Smith is likely not going to be there. There's going to be an exodus of coaching talent because Nathaniel Hackett is getting interviewed all over the league. So, no, like if the Packers do not win, like this is,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, there goes our window for quite some time, I think.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The bangles I'm a little concerned about just because their offensive line is a bit banged up. I mean, the Buccaneers are on that list too, but.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, if they're off, like if the Titans defense steps up and is able to like shut down the offense, I like don't know what the Bengals have after that. So, they would be a little sus to me. Uhm, but the Rams Buccaneers game is a really interesting game just because the Rams have just not been consistent.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, like you look with a 49ers game, like there's multiple games where it's like, wow, there's so much talent on the field. Like why are they not putting it all together? They're barely beating the Vikings because they were able to rely thankfully on their run game, on their defense. Same thing with the Ravens. They get like lucky with an OBJ touchdown. Von Miller getting a sack.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's like what you saw on Monday, I was like, wow, those are the ramps. Like that's what they spent all this money for.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm actually curious, Scooter, I actually want you to settle something, cuz Pern and I were talking about this. What are your thoughts on Dan Quinn? Dan Quinn, we- we would like him to stay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If the Buccaneers lose, do you think like Bruce Arians just like pile drives Tom Brady since he's hitting early players in the head? Like he just like set him up for a power bomb?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The Buccaneers. I think that their defense, if they're able to stop the run, like they did, kind of, against the Eagles, and when I say kind of, just because the Eagles just got away from the run, like another NFC East team, but I think the Buccaneers will get the dub here, because even if their offensive line is injured, Brady gets the ball out quickly anyway. So, and plus, I'm not a huge fake guy, but I feel like Brady and Rodgers need to meet in the NFC Championship game again.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, I have a feeling it's going to be the Chiefs that win, but I picked the Buffalo Bills just because I think that they are the more complete team. I think that the Chiefs, they put together that win streak, they lost to the Bengals. Yes, there were some ref interference in that, but I like the Bills if they're able to run the football. They can't run the football, they're screwed.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Regardless, uhm, I think it depends a lot about running the football, right? If we can stop Elijah Mitchell, I think we should be okay. Debo Samuel obviously is like a huge threat.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But, people are always like talking about that first game where we just beat them by like a field goal. Like, there was some referee involvement in that game that should have made it a lot less close. I think at Lambeau, with guys returning, and these are like key all-pro guys returning, Rodgers has not thrown an interception in two months. Yeah, I like the Packers here.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cardinal could have used, uh, Rasool Douglas and probably Devondre Campbell on Monday, but thanks for him, that guy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What do you guys got going on this week? I have a Steelers fan reaction to the entire season premiering in like three minutes. Nice.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So get us sick through the internets and we're fine. Welcome to Clickbait Sports, October 21st, 2021. We have the crew together. I'm going to go with this guy. What's up, Tom?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Anyways, uh, let's get into the show, everyone. Uh, that's by the way what your super chat money, uh, buys. By the way, last week Scooter was made to get a cameo from, um, Torello.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Speaking of spicy, Deshaun Watson trade rumors are heating up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, you know, this has not been a secret. Like the Miami Dolphins have said, you know, they've made no bones about bringing in Deshaun Watson. I guess they're waiting for all this legal stuff to clear. My big question is, is like, who wins in this and who loses?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause there was a, cause him and, um, Aaron Rodgers actually worked out in the off season one time before he was drafted. And it was funny that Aaron Rodgers was showing his UCLA quarterback tips, you know, him being from Cal, from Chino. And, uh, their, their career paths went in two different ways.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think that Miami can get the fanbase to buy in. They just have to massage it a little bit. They just have to work the fanbase, you know, just kinda...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Need them in there into, into Deshawn playing for them. I think, I think the real question is


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is uhm, what do you give up for somebody that is never going to play, you know, that might or might not play? Like what is it? Is it a couple of draft picks? What's going on here? What's, what's the value of Deshaun Watson? It's so hard to gauge.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think the thing though for Miami and Trading Tua, even if they don't get Deshawn, is they're 1 in 5, like they're like, we're not going to tank for nothing, because they don't even have a draft pick next year, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Miami's in trouble, big time, and they have to do something, but I don't know if trading your second year quarterback who said that, you know, the NFL is too easy, you know, and he's figuring out that it's not, it's not easy, not easy at all.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do you think this is like one of those things where they test the waters again by leaking the story? Like maybe the Texans in Miami has had a deal on the books for a while and they're just like, all right, let's see how the public is going to react to Deshaun Watson getting traded. And then if the, if the response is not favorable, they're like, all right, we got to back off it. We got to wait until like Friday.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like we gotta do a Ray Rice with this story.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, since we've been so rudely interrupted by these massive donations, keep them coming by the way.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Brandon perma. And that becomes a shirt. So that would make up...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When you look at a guy like Daniel Jones, right, this is his third year.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And he hasn't won anything. He's been doing a great job. He's got 10 total wins in his career.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The Cowboys pull a game out in which Nelson Aguilar had probably a game clinching, uh, Aguilar out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Unlike Aguilar, we was catching him. Unlike Aguilar. Where he just blew it, all he had was a single safety high to beat and he was gone. Uhm, my question to the group is, has Bill Belichick lost it? He has been involved in some close games lately.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I, I just, I wonder if Steve Bilichek and his meth habit have anything to do with them not being able to convert.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, when it matters, I'm just, I, I thought that when the, uh, when they gave up the long touchdown or when the Trayvon Diggs thing happened, first of all, they were up late, right? All they needed was a first down.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, my, my thing is, is like why, why are the Patriots, like I was very upset that the, the Patriots should have won that game.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it was pretty bad right there. I think the only reasoning with that DAT call was that maybe his forward progress had been stopped and then he, and then he gave a second effort, but it was still a bad call to me. Like, there is no...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, but there's no way to see down there into the pile. You need x-ray vision or something.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, uhm, I guess are we gonna vote and say whether Bill Belichick has lost it?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Are we gonna put the thumbs up or thumbs down if Bill Pelichick has lost it? He's lost it. Or middle.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Every win that the Cowboys notch gets me closer and more anxious towards you experiencing a 15 win season.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And more angry, I thought that maybe Bill Belichick could do us a solid and take this


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Trouble that is the Dallas Cowboys 2021-2022 season out of our lives and


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Spare me the igniminy of having to listen to Scooter McGruder another week, but I volunteer for this. Oh, Tom is contributing to Brandon's delinquency here.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And he basically explained, uh, the situation as, you know, the fans can say whatever you want, but I say one thing and I'm being criticized for it. What are your thoughts on that, Tom?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, the thing is, the, the, the whataboutism that I saw on Twitter, and that's my favorite word, like, you know how buzzwords start to creep into, uhm, certain things, like, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think apologist was a word that was used a lot. Playmaker was the word that was used. Now what aboutism is the


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is the new word. Is everyone's like, what about Tom Brady? You never hear him saying stuff to the crowd. I just doubt that it's not picked up because I'm sure someone's mother has been insulted by Tom Brady. I'm positive.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, uh, since Tree, you like to run your mouth, let's do, let's go into Read 2. It's the Money Tree section. Uh, let's, where's the disclaimer, everyone?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was, uh, that was a wonderful read. Yes, don't ever follow Tree's advice. Alright, one thing that you did mention was


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, Dan Snyder, Jackson Mahomes, our entire show last week was based off of the mishandling of Sean Taylor's retirement, or the number of his retirement jersey ceremony.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And everything, yes, I cannot speak right now. Everything that we talked about, it being a PR stunt, it being something to deflect from the attention on the team, everything was realized in a more horrific way than we could have imagined on Sunday.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Jackson Mahomes is dan- you know, unfortunately was ushered- it's not his fault. Like, I- I get it. He is a TikToker or whatever he does with the dancing and all that stuff. Great for him. Like, he's made a name for himself. Most people don't know who the brother of Aaron- who- if Aaron Rodgers even has a brother. I have no idea.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But we all know who Jackson Mahomes is because he does these dances. He was shuffled into the memorial area where he's literally dancing on Sean Taylor's number. Okay. Then they do, they name a street after Sean Taylor.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And Dan Snyder, Danny, no one showed up. Danny Snyder's out there in a hoodie. Such respect for the guy that lost his life while being an active player on your team that you just show up in a Redskins hoodie. Not, you know, and just be like, oh yeah, and apparently they couldn't get Joe Gibbs to come cause it's, um,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's NASCAR season. They couldn't get anyone to show up. What's going on?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sean Taylor doesn't deserve that. Bruh. Like- I'm disgusted by that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Isn't that his wife though on- Yea, right here. Yea, she married him for his looks, for sure.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yup. Alright, uh, let's go to a non-NFL subject real quick as we're getting towards the end of the show and then we'll go to the Thursday night game leading. I wanna talk about Ben Simmons because


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He is making a mockery of the NBA. What did he do today, Scooter? What's going on with this?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm gonna have to disagree because Ben Simmons made this bet by being an inept shooter when time, when it's crunch time. Like, he has already faced the ire of the Philly fan for being non-clutch and just being a scaredy cat when it comes to hoisting up the ball.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I think that this little play, he definitely needs a change of scenery. And I think that the two sides cannot just reach an agreement because of him being so obtuse in this arrangement.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I did that because this, this just reminded me of like when I was in corporate America and I'd be in an IT meeting and they would call on me for my thoughts and I'd be like, what? I wasn't paying attention.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's great that you brought up the Jason Kelce thing because Zach Oertz gets traded by the Eagles and that shows that the Eagles are clearly tanking to end the season. So this will be our last segment before the third.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes, before the Thursday night preview, uh, I want everyone to go around. Last week we picked a Super Bowl winner and we had to defend them. We had to make our case and then we all gave the thumbs up or thumbs down. This week we gotta pick a


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A different type of champion. Who is going to end the season with the worst record in the NFL and win the Tank Bowl?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So you're gonna have to pick a team right now out of the crappy teams. I want Brandon to go first and tell me why a certain team is going to finish with the worst record and tell me why it's the Jacksonville Jaguars.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, no, you don't have to, just pick any team, but I thought it would be funny.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, so you and Brandon just ganged up on me. Okay, that's your answer. Alright, uh, Tree, who are you picking as the Tank Bowl champion?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, they're committed to delusionally trying to win. My pick is gonna be the Jets, just because they are the Jets. That is the only offered piece of logic I will give you. Zach Wilson isn't really learning as fast as you want him to.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's getting ugly. Uh, I just feel like hopefully the Jets lose more games than the Giants, but I'm probably wrong. I think of the remaining games.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What Giants game can you see the Giants winning?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And the Bears. We do well against the football team, typically, and that's, that's gonna tick me off if they win that last game of the season with the Tank Bowl on the line, like they did, they could have Chase Young right now, instead of whoever, Anthony, Andrew Thomas or whatever, they could have Chase Young. You're running that game.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, Browns is minus 125. At home in Cleveland, gonna be nasty weather. Uh, the money line is pretty good. Minus 10, minus 125 for the Browns plus 105. It's, it's gonna be an ugly game. I, I would not bet this game if I, you know,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So you're taking the browns, do you want to change that later or do you want to make that permanent?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We went back and we reviewed it and it says, he said, alright, let's do the countdown everyone. It's, it's the end of the show. I think we know who won.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, look at the E and the S. I mean, they went all out. They went all out for this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How did you get yours early? They give them to Cowboys fans first. It's a priority queue line. You gotta get in. Uh huh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My gosh, that is bad. That's pretty much what it is.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Everything online I've been seeing, everyone is like, bye week. He's gone. No chance he's there after the bye week. That's it. Wrap it up. Send it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Here's a question. Which head coach did worse? Nick Saban or Urban Meyer?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He brought us to the promised land, but he left us in shambles. Literally, we have just recovered from the mess Urban Meyer left us with all those players, so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We had to go through a McElwain, and we had to go through, uh, uh, uh, Mushchamp.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just to get a Dan Mullin, just to get positive again, but he did win us a national championship.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That will never be taken away and that's more than some teams can say period point blank. Thank you for the national championship.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I wanted this man as the head coach for the Cowboys. We're done!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We are instead, we got Mike McCarthy, which I don't know if he's that much better, to be honest, but we're managing. He's getting his massagers in private.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] All I'm saying is, how have you not seen this in 37 years of football? You haven't seen someone try to break a record in 37 years of watching football?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was so wild. Like to me, it's like, imagine if he was never caught. Would this have persisted? Would his high level of play persisted still? It's very...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's very odd and peculiar, but this man is getting arrested and he might still be in prison if it's up to the horny police. Put this man in the hole right now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A lot of variables at play. We're gonna give him a pass. Right, I think he's a new man. Hopefully he's doing good, everything's right. So we're gonna leave him out of the circle.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Playing some of the best, if not the best football from any QB not named Kyler Murray, we have Zeke!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Who has now come into his own 147 yards in the last game, Amari Cooper, CD Lamb.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We have so many weapons, not to mention Dalton Schultz, by the way, he might even be better than our starter Blake Jarwin, who knows at this point. We have the best tight ends in the league, we have the best receiving core in the league, and barring the Cleveland Browns, we have the best


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Running backs in the league. The Dallas Cowboys have the best offense. I don't care what you are saying to me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Excuse me, we're doing all of this, by the way, without Michael Gallup, by the way, without Lyle Collins, by the way. So, like, we're only gonna get better as time goes on. We're only gonna improve.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And they just signed Richard Sherman, which is gonna be an interesting experiment. Let's see how it plays out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is this the Jalen Smith segment? Oh! Do you want to talk about it, Scooter? Oh, yes I do want to talk about it. I do want to talk about Jalen Smith. Listen.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I will preface this by saying, I'll preface all of this by saying, I like Jalen Smith.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right, I like him. I'm rooting for him. And the Packers, I want him to succeed.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is, this is a cowboy, this is our guy, right? This is, I like him!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] With that being said, his play the past two seasons has not lived up


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, he has the most tackles. What middle linebacker is not going to lead the team in tackles? So the stats are inflated. He's getting these tackles 10, 20 yards down the field. It's not the same Jalen Smith from 2018. The swipe


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It doesn't mean as much now. I love him! He just has not been performing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I hope he turns it around with the Packers. I hope he finds that second speed and gets back. But right now, it made sense for the Cowboys because to play him, you might as well play a rookie. You might as well play no one because he's that slow. He's that far behind to people who not, who do not


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, follow the Cowboys, it's a shocker. The Cowboys fans who watched the tape, who have seen this, we saw this coming, we just didn't see it coming this week.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And you signed Richard Sherman, right, who hasn't been playing, hasn't done anything. Why wouldn't you give up a six round pick in nine years?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You can't restructure after a trade.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But like, I'm looking at a list right now of the salary cap right now. Jaguars have the most. Eagles. Then the Broncos.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Then the Panthers. So, would you have wanted Gilmore, Brandon?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm wondering, like, why didn't the Eagles do this? They got mad cap space. Washington is right after the Panthers. We have the same amount.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you're Sam Darnold and Zach Wilson calls you, what advice do you give him?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Dak Prescott, for him to come out, right? There was so, I don't know if you guys remember, there was so much concern over Dak's health.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Particularly his shoulder. People were saying, oh my gosh, we're gonna have to start Koopa Rush. Oh my gosh, it's gonna be like last season when we were garbage because our QB2 was trash.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So to me, it's that. No one expected this. Save for me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I was there doing the behind the scenes. So be on the lookout for some NBA behind the scenes action. Got to meet Michael B Jordan, right? I met Michael B Jordan. I met LeBron. I met Russell Westbrook, Dirk Nowitzki, Kareem Abdul-Jabbar a second time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Zach Levine, I asked him if Aaron Gordon was robbed. He said no. Just be on the lookout. Okay, we got some fire on the way.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think, uh, five, if you remember correctly from the dumpster fire, I remember Uche saying that they want to see if they can fire him without having to pay him. So maybe they'll wait a little bit more.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Nick Saban at least lasted more than one season. He resigned to- Yeah, he actually took it out two years. Yes, exactly. That's the thing. So like Saban's infinitely better right now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So what you're trying to say is from the crazy uncle angle, you're saying it might be an inside job. Could be.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I need a new piece of tail, so I'm gonna have to go after someone younger. I'm going to Arkansas, what I can control. Atlanta's too independent and free spirited, so you know what? He's going deep in that hole, but not only that, he's gonna go so deep that he's gonna get a neck injury and require a brace. So you know what? That is right.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He doesn't take no for an answer. He likes putting it in places that it doesn't belong. He likes, you know, he's very aggressive and very controlling in the pocket. He likes caressing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean with all those deflated balls he was throwing around, I wouldn't boast about my married life either. Just saying.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Dude, it's uh, it's not even that. It's uh, it's, it's, it's bad. It is very, very bad. Uhm.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And unfortunately, he got to see the wonders of stellar football, where you pass the ball three yards down the middle to watch your receivers get killed. And check downs to Nagy Harris, where he gets killed.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You have to remember too, there's another situation as well. If they, the Panthers don't sign Stefan Gilmore, they get a fifth round compensatory pick. So they actually boost up in draft value.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Absolutely fine in that regard. No drops this year. Defense has been very strong as well. My question for them, Jesse Bates, like they need to resign him. Otherwise, like they're getting a lot of pressure on the quarterback there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Against the Steelers, they look like world beaters, but that might say more about the Seahorses and the Bengals. But for the most part, they've shown resilience, they've shown sort of confidence, and they have hope. So, you know what? I'm going Bengals.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Week in the back of the money tree giving was in the spirit. I said that the Broncos were going to beat the Ravens at home. Guess what happened? Broncos lose. Ravens more than cover. So you know what? If you bet Ravens, you made money. I also did Raiders beating the Chargers.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So you know what happened there? I thought, hey, home field advantage was going to work out. I thought the Raiders were for real.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Guess what? I was wrong. Cover for the chargers. Making that money. Chargers.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You got two head to head this week too. You're supposed to, you're supposed to keep going. Cleveland and Los Angeles Chargers are my second pick, and there are lots of fans and attendance for the Cleveland that so far, but do you want to know something? The Chargers are for real.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They have a strong defense. Baker has been very sloppy thanks to his injury. So you know what? It's going to be a Chargers win and a bunch of Browns fans are going to leave disappointed. Can I get an amen and a hallelujah from the crowd, please?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The Seattle on the same thing, you don't know what team you're gonna get from them every week. Let's go over every single game. Week one, dominate Indianapolis. Week two, collapse against Tennessee, lose the game at home. Week three, look like absolute puke.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And you know what, that dog should play secondary for the Seattle Seahawks because he would cover better than Trey Flowers. And maybe he could call a better play than Ken Norton Jr. too apparently because they want him dead. And then weak floor, I mean they look rough.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, actually I just released a video, a haters guide to the MLB postseason, and then I'm gonna get right to work on haters guide to the NHL season, and I got sports ball, so it's a busy stretch right now. And I also have to do an Applebee's vid, which I'll probably do.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'll probably do take out or some shit and be like, I did it again. Well, I mean, and then I'll just like, I'll just like throw stuff out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] 37 years in pro ball, I've never seen anything like that, so. But it was to be expected, and we expected it. Why did you expect it from them? Because I just know how they operate. You know, they... That's just their...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, mode of operation there. Player safety is secondary.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hey guys, uh, I almost missed the show today because I was changing a blown out diaper.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Can you follow up the Goodell answer with, do you still have John Mara's phone number and can you ask him to reverse the taunting penalties?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Did you, did you ask him like, hey Raj, uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, is this where Sauce Gardener went the wrong way?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Kenny Pickett or Nathan Peterman? Who is the better pick, QB? Kenny Pickett.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Everybody thought there would be a run on QB. Same here. I thought so too. It just didn't happen even, even after that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Steelers, consensus, draft grade, based on all of their draft grades, uh, B, B plus-ish. That's usually about a Steelers grade, B, B plus. Tied with the Falcons at 9.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's like, who's this kid? He corrected himself. He's like, I mean, Saquon, it was a man. It was a man. It was a man.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We got Nick Bonito, whose name literally translates to Nick Beautiful.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We've got a restaurant here in Colorado called Casa Bonita. So it was destiny.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We used the Vaughn Miller pick, announced by Elvis Dumerville, legendary Broncos edge rusher. It all made sense. It all lined up to the Nick Bonito pick.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Which value-wise, really great place to get him.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Also, like Tom, I put him in a thumbnail on my Broncos podcast before the draft, so I willed it into existence. Willed it. But we did not pick until 64, so...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm gonna give the Broncos an F for freaking making me wait that long for a draft pick.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] All this, there were so many, like, rumors that were gonna trade up round two.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I was like, okay, Will, let's just stream round two, the whole thing, round two and three.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They stepped foot, and we wasted two hours of our life. Don't like that. Uh, after that...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Greg Dulcich, like the tight end, uh, Damari Mathis, uh, safety, like, safety corner, hybrid, probably gonna use him as corner.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, from Pit. What do you think, Tree? Do you know anything about him?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A little bit about, I mean, it's probably pretty solid, so you


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I watched one highlight video of his.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They didn't have any huge needs to fill. Like Edge was the biggest one and that's like a depth thing because Randy Gregory, Bradley Chubb,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's kind of the MO for a back end of a draft anyway, but it felt like, and that's an area like the Packers, they need to get a lot better in their coverage units were horrible last season. So if guy like, uh, Mathis can come in and be.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, a role playing corner and also contribute on special teams. Solid draft. B minus.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, because like, I mean, we gave up no offence in the trade to the Seahawk, so, like, that doesn't surprise me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, at all really. It seemed like an area they could address. Uh, I just like-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, I don't watch a lot of college football, so I'm like, who the hell is Greg Dulcich? And then...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Before Shakespeare, we got something even more important.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We've got DraftKings back in the


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That is your promo code over at DraftKings. And if you're looking to add a little bit more thrill this college football season, bring on the Betts. DraftKings, America's top rated sports click app.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, links in the description for DraftKings. Use the code CLICKBAIT when you sign up. And right now, new customers, $200 in free bets when they place any pregame $5 or more wager on a college football team of their choosing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Plus with Same Game Parleys, you can combine multiple bets from the same game to give yourself a shot to win even bigger winnings all season long.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, you know, you know what to do. You use our code. It helps us help DraftKings help us. So links are download promo code clickbait. DraftKings is back.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, you guys used to be depressed all season?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wait, who will throw the most picks or who will get the most picks?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, this is tough because...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And you want to go like bad quarterback right away, right? You're like, oh, which, which bad QB is going to throw a bunch.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But if you look at like the guys who threw a lot of picks last year, it's Stafford, it's Josh Allen, it's Justin Herbert, Joe Burrow, they're top 10 for most picks because they throw a lot of footballs. Uhm, dang.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm gonna say a little bit of wishful thinking.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I feel like Kyler's got a lot to prove and he may like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] As a short guy, overcompensate for it a little bit on the field and try to do a little too much.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Give yourself, I'm going to give you some time to think here, Tree. It is the Las Vegas Raiders. This is a team designed to score points. I think Josh McDaniels can make that happen with Derek Carr, Devontae Adams, LittleTinyHunterRenfro, Darren Waller.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, they got, they got the ammo. Guess what? Their defense, I think, still not very good outside of two edge rushers. So.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Get the points early and then watch as teams get more physical.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Beat them down into submission and take the leads away from them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright. Carolina Panthers could be in that combo too. They could.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Check this out. Bears are gonna win eight games. What? Chicago Bears gonna win eight games.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I gotta, like, I gotta buy like a Bears something. Okay, alright. I gotta buy a custom Bears Alex Leatherwood jersey.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, you got, uh, I don't know. I don't know. I'm not good at making up bet- betting terms.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think the Bears are going to be a little bit better than people are giving them credit for. I think the Falcons and I think the Falcons probably still have the worst roster heading into this season. I think the Seahawks have the worst QB situation heading into the season. So it's like, I don't know what to bet on in terms of. You know what?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, let's do two. Like which player is going to have the most picks and which defense is going to have the most turnovers. Cowboys.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Has 10 picks again this year. Or 11, close to it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If Saekwon's playing well, they could trade him before the trade deadline.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I think Cooper Cupp's receptions are gonna go down with Alan Robinson in L.A. That's why I wouldn't go Cupp. Maybe, oh man, it's hard because like, you go maybe Jamar Chaik.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Bangle's got too many good ball catchers.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't think that's true. I mean, the leaders last year, Cooper Cup, Devonte Adams, Tyree Kill, Justin Jefferson, Mark Andrews, Deontay Johnson, Keenan Allen, Jalen Waddell, Diggs.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Renfro would be the first guy in there with 103. Uh, damn.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wait, wait a second guys. If you think you're good at predicting what's going to happen in the NFL.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Bring on the bets with DraftKings Sportsbook, America's top rated sportsbook app because they're dishing out a killer deal for new customers. You bet $5 on any college football wager and instantly receive $200 in free bets.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's right. Draft Kings is giving new customers $200 in free bets when they place any pregame $5 or more wager on the college football team of their choosing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's code click bait. Uh, and you got same game parlays. You stack those bets for a nice juicy payout and you can get great winnings all season long. As long as you're smart about it. Okay. Don't, yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, cool. Haha. So, code, clickbait, links in the descrip- description, scrip- description, let go of my, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, that's it. $200 in free bets, what do you use that code?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The pregame wager on college football, which kicks off this week, guys.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Dude, that's a good one, because if Mekara, if they start off bad, I feel like Jerry's going to be like, oh yea, get out of here. He was already thinking about it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Did they let Russell go before firing Pete Carroll?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I got, uh, the Vikings, uh, also, but it's Kirk Cousins and it's when he's arrested for being a serial killer and they find just a lot of dead bodies buried in his home.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Actually, can I go back? She's got the man for it. He's got the weird sort of disposition for it. If that guy's not a serial killer, I'll be shocked. Absolutely shocked.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's your superpower. That's how you tell.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If I had a superpower, honestly, what I would want it to be is that I could never be tackled by NFL players. And then I would play in the NFL and I'd be the greatest NFL player who ever lived.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So you have the hawks. Dirk Nowitzki, Jokic. But that's all I got.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Donovan Mitchell is actually drafted by the Denver Nuggets. Fun fact.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Zach Wilson throws more than 25 touchdowns.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] 59.99 in super chats, thank you for keeping me safe.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was gonna say before we go live, we should all start the show by going around and saying which organization we're raising money for for the charity stream. That's all I was gonna say.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright guys, for my organization, we are going to be raising money for the Central Texas Food Bank.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Goal is a thousand dollars today and tomorrow. So let's see what we can do. Feed Zeke.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Let's go baby, let's get this money for the Central Texas Food Bank.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] For the reveal. Like, we cannot keep these people waiting. This man is over here raising money left and right for people. It's only right!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] TDG, can we get some W's in the chat going? Tom, let's see the purple tips!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do not take a screenshot, whatever you do. Make sure you definitely do not tag him on Twitter, at TomGrossieComedy. Don't do that, whatever you do.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I finally got my cameo back from T.O. This is a big boy, this is four minutes, okay? So look, hey.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It might have cost a lot of money for this, but he put in some work. So I am thankful for that. I think, I think it might, might, might even be worth the $350.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, growing up as a lifelong Cowboys fan, you go through highs and lows.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Mountains, valleys, and peaks. All of that, okay? Look at the foot, too. Like, all of that, okay?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've seen the worst of it. I'm talking about Dave Campo. Do y'all remember Dave Campo? Does anyone hearing my voice remember Dave Campo? Okay. So what I am thankful today is that Dave Campo is no longer our head coach.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Jason Garrett for 10 years is no longer our head, our head coach. What I'm thankful for.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is that maybe, somehow, Mike McCarthy gifted to us from the Green Bay Packers is somehow.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] to the promised land. I am thankful for that. Mike McCarthy, I believe in you. You did it once before in Green Bay. You can do it again.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They are, and I don't see mine anymore. I don't like that. I'll bring them back. The heck? I need to know if this is good or not.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Guys, since we are very loose today, right, we're loose, I think


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What we should sort of focus on today is the past week game. Just go by and talk about.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I had to buy a oversized Ryan Fitzpatrick jersey, which is being shipped.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Now that I've heard everything you guys have had to say, this is my response.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Listen, injuries suck, but injuries are a part of the game. With that being said...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It doesn't matter as much that Amari Cooper was out. It doesn't matter as much Randy Gregory, Demarcus Lawrence, our two maybe best defenders were out, right? What matters the most is that Tyronn Smith.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That is the key. Tyron Smith is out. If Tyron Smith is out, the Cowboys might not be able to win anything. I'm talking about playoffs, it doesn't matter. If Tyron Smith is injured, come


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You wanna know why Dak was running for his gosh darn life? Because Taren Steel cannot provide the same support


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Arguably the best lineman in the game, and that's what happens. That's the result when Terrence Steele is in. That's the result when Connor Williams has to fill in and shuffle things around. So.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes, injuries are a part of the game, but look, I've seen the Cowboys play with Tyron Smith. I've seen the Cowboys play without Tyron Smith. It looks more like that when Tyron Smith isn't playing. That's all I'm saying.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Absolutely not, we're playing with a garbage center ourselves. Tyler B, come on, no.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like he looked bad. Second time in three weeks. Listen to what I said. Left tackle.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Pressures in your face all day. What quarterback do you think would have looked good back there?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Amari Cooper is a pro bowler. C.D. Lamb. If he weren't a pro bowler, they'd get voted in. Tyrant Smith is a pro bowler. Demarcus Lawrence is a pro bowler. Randy Gregory is on pace to be a pro bowler.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So for those who actually did not watch, uh, the game, the Steelers actually lost the game. Okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah, Steelers lost after it looked like they had a comeback of the century. They're down bad.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] 27 points. Do you think, Tree though, do you think the Steelers will rebound from this their next game? Do you, what are we thinking? Are we going upwards? Possibly.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Who did the Broncos play? What was that game like, Brandon Perna?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Someone tweeted, someone tweeted at me and they said, Brandon Perna just sitting back on the bye week watching everyone else in clickbait sports teams lose. Literally all our teams lost. Brandon Perna though sitting pretty on that bye week. This brings us to our final game.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But what I do know is, Kadarius Tony, and actually Dez Bryant tweeted this. Dez Bryant echoed what I said. He said, now that Jason Garrett's gone, Kadarius Tony, you will love football now. This is what Dez Bryant said. So look.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That man is a playmaker. He scares me. Out of any player on any team in the NFC East. It's Kaderia's Tony. He scares me the most. So, y'all gotta stud.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The fact that I had to pay money to T.O. for a cameo. So, I think now would be an appropriate time to let you- I paid $350 for this 4 minute message you guys are about to get.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Enjoy. I made, I think 900, like a third, a third of it went to this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This man ran up on the star when he was a 49er. We don't forget that, Dio. We still remember. Okay. I actually did that. So.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Great cameo. Chat, Skeleton, rank that cameo from TO. What are we thinking? What are we thinking? I think it's like a 9.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh absolutely. All I remember is I watched this man on the challenge, MTV the challenge, and it was one of the funniest things I've ever seen in my life.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes, the answer is purple. Purple tips is the answer.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Now, we need to do another, there needs to be another chart that shows the correlation between winning and hotness. Does it correlate?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So if you donate, that is where the money is going. Let's just take count on where we're at right now. 15 minutes before we end. We have just crossed $500 over here on my channel for the central


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, Texas Food Bank? Tree, what are you guys doing? What are you at?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The Cowboys are not undefeated. The Cowboys are at three losses, but we do play.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Vegas. Tomorrow. Yea, we play Vegas tomorrow. So, do you guys want to preview these games tomorrow being played on Thanksgiving? What are we thinking?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, I like that transition, take away, Tom, purple tipped, grassy. Do you have the read in front of you? No, but I don't read it anyway.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We have 10 more minutes, 10 more minutes to get your donations into all these different charities.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We end this charity stream. Let's preview some of the football games happening tomorrow on Thanksgiving before we ask.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'll start. Cowboys are playing the Raiders? Raiders looked awful!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, in their last game, they looked just terrible. Cowboys likewise looked awful and terrible. It's gonna come down to which offense sucks less. And I'm afraid once again because


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I have not heard any word on the availability of Tyron Smith.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think he has bone spurs, which are, I guess hurt a lot. I've never had one, but some people have been telling me about them in the comments, and that's what he's going through. That's why he's out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We'll see. I just hope the Raiders suck it up like they did in their last game.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And we have a nice winning Thanksgiving because for the past two years, I've been upset on Thanksgiving. Let me eat my deviled eggs in peace!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm mad that Amari Cooper is injured because can you imagine Amari Cooper going up against the Raiders and he scores 19 touchdowns? And I'm not saying this because I have him in fantasy football and that would benefit me. Maybe I get in the playoffs. No! I like Amari Cooper and I want him to get his revenge on his old team that said he's garbage when he's been nothing but phenomenal for us.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Has he ever played against him? Ever? As a cowboy?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't think so. I'm not sure. I don't know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Jason, yes. So, did y'all see the, his contract?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like the tweet that came out is like he can make anywhere between 89 million and 100 bucks depending on what position he plays. I'm like what the, how is this legal?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Can we uh, can we just get a full screen real quick of Tom as we are here to close out this charity stream? Tom of course being


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The number one donation, but I just want to see those frosted tips one more time. Can you just give us a, a 360 almost view of those frosted tips before we go into the countdown here? I love it. I love it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We are gonna start the countdown soon. You'll have 30 seconds to donate. After that, the count will stop. Get your money in. Here we go.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I put in 168 at the buzzer to get us to over $1000 for the central


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What are we thinking though? Pedicure? Manicure? Facial? These things are great. I don't like these things. These things are great.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, uuuh. How about this? How about a pedicure? A pedicure? So you go, get yourself- No, you don't like pedicure? BRO! You've never gotten a pedicure?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, there it is. You can't get drunk in an hour. It is. Which pie?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Should be eliminated from Thanksgiving. Last question before we- Oh yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Can I say something real quick? So, I put out this question, because I was told to put out this question, and I thought we were just interacting with the audience and stuff. I didn't know this was going to have real world implications. Oh yes it was. And the most liked thing was Jordan Love. So now with the second pick of this draft, I need to pick Jordan Love. Good! Thanks guys!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Guys, listen. You're just sleeping on him. He's eventually gonna get off the marijuana. Josh Gordon. Let's get it, baby!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, I don't, I don't even know where I am right now. Let's, you know what, uh, mm, no, okay, mm, yeah, go Chris Carson, why not. He'll be injured by week three, but it's fine.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In this league, I was thinking my cup would runneth over.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I will go with a literal god in Chris Godwin.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] By the way, my, my last pick has to be a kicker. ESPN will not let me pick anything else. So the chat can choose my kicker.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In my chat, it was a two-way tie, but it looks like this was just over. Five is still picking.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You and I already have an ongoing bet this season, right? 15-2. If the Dallas Cowboys win tonight, if they win, the Cowboys can lose three games and you would still win that bet. Okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay. And on the flip side. And on the flip side.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If they lose, then it's when it goes on sale, you need to buy the Ed Sheeran jacket.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Scooter does have a point. He does have a point. Okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] As we all know, the Green Bay Packers are owned by the fans, right? It's a great organization.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And the Dallas Cowboys are the only team in the league that is owned by every other team.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The Giants got two, we got two, Packers got two. Uh, and then, uh, Perna got three. So that's nine. Wow. That's, that's nine rings and you guys haven't won since the nineties. So that's pretty crazy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, so the Tampa Buccaneers, uh, real good defense, real good defense. Offense is pretty, uh, not too shabby either. Uh, I think that defense though is probably the fact that you're missing some peeps on the offensive line, I think.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Truly, it might be painful. Like you're talking about screens in short, like they blow up wide receiver screens all day. Like Denzel White is a freak of nature. Like that man is scary.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The ba- the highest scoring offense in the NFL last year had a tough time with the Tampa Bay Buccaneers twice. And that was the Green Bay Packers.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So yes, I do think that they're going to have some trouble. I think that the Cowboys are a very talented football team. Don't get me wrong. I will give you that all day every day. I think you have great wide receivers. I think Zeke's going to have a better year. I think Dak should continue to probably break records.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But this is a scary team. They hurt you. Emotionally, spiritually, so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So you go to go live and then you click on the stream itself and then the information should be there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Chat, bear with us. You're gonna hit the plus button to the left of your icon that says create.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'll, uh, I will be dropping within the next hour every NFL fan's reaction to the start of the 2021-2022 NFL season. I wore a lot of outfits today. And of course we'll be streaming the Cowboys and Buccaneers game going live at 8 p.m. Eastern. Let's fricking fricking get it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You just use the code when you sign up over at DraftKings Sportsbook, America's most loved sportsbook.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Love, Valentine's Day, Super Bowl, it's all the same these days!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And for new customers, you're going to get 56 to one odds on either football team to win this weekend bet $5 and win 280 and free bets. Uh, you can also do this in New York.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, we need the overlay for the code. Yes, put the old one. There it is. DraftKings, click! Right where my speed is. That's the code.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, code clickbait. You can do prop bets for the super bowl.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, will a player that's not a quarterback throw a pass?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uuuh. How do you process that? Cause I'm betting on Noah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, he doesn't wear a cup. Oh. Based on the pictures I've seen.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes, with the two dudes are becoming true. I don't even remember what it was about. It was a long time ago. It was, Date wanted to go see that movie. I was like, what? And that was the last date I ever went on with that person. Like you chose this for our viewing pleasure.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My wife is cool AF. Yes, your wife is very cool. But, way cooler than you. Her taste in television.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, we both gave up on that show. We both liked it at first, then they lost us.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Von Miller, two times Super Bowl MVP, first defensive player to do it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sealing his hall of fame enshrinement. It's gonna be amazing. Sorry, Joe Burrow. But Vaughn gonna getcha! Vaughn, I'm not interesting.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How bad would it be if Mike Hilton won Super Bowl MVP?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I know, but he's not on the Steelers. So you'd be happy for him is what you're saying. Yeah, I would. I liked him in Pittsburgh. I would be a little upset about that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh yeah, I think it's Joe Mixon too, because I think the Rams have three running backs they might be using now and.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It would be cool if Samajay Perrine somehow was that guy, cause he broke off like an 80 yard run, like he had that 60 yard screen or whatever against the, uh, was that the Chiefs game when he broke that out?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Or the Raiders game or the tight, they all blend together, but probably me. I say Joe Nixon.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] High T Higgins is gonna have the most receiving yards. Old T Higgins.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You can't cover Jamar Chase or Cooper Cup, we know. They're both, they're both elite. They're gonna get their, they're gonna get their catches.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I feel like the Rams are going to focus on trying to take Jamar Chase out of the game. And I think T Higgins is going to benefit from that because you might be a number one receiver on a lot of teams, just not the Bengals anymore. He's a solid number two, not, not an Odell Joe.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Brandon, who's going to have the most turnovers? It is the Cincinnati Bengals and Super Bowl MVP Von Miller will cause not one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But two strip sack bumbles. I saw him do it to Cam Newton in the Super Bowl.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Key out the green screen and then pretend that I am Jack from This Is Us.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He should give the trophy to Joe Burrow. Yes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I bet there'll be some AVN award winners there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, go ahead. I'll just say I'm going to call our contact over at DraftKings and I'm going to ask them to play trees read that we just did in the Super Bowl.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just live verbatim, the internet cutting out, like, I say, well, I didn't realize my internet cut out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We'll do the show for free if they promise to play Steve's commercial in the Super Bowl. But it has to be from this episode and this episode only. I just want the Lord of the Rings trailer.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, that's fine. Whatever. Yeah, the bucks are still good, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm reading Twitter about 80 different coaching hirings and replacements and who's going to be this team's passing game coordinator. Like I'm looking at that stuff, refusing to acknowledge anything NBA related. I did see the woge bomb for the Ben Simmons trade today.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So he's going to play with Kyrie Irving and KD, right? That's the new sub team.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It starts out with, like, I'm just like listening to him say this out loud in my head and I couldn't stop laughing after I read the tweet, but he's like, well, that's a good question.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I would like to have dinner with my, uh, grandfather. My grandfather. Right, right, right. Yeah, let's go with that. I love him, respected him, he passed away. I'd just like to share one more moment with him. And, I don't know, Hitler and Michael Jackson.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Why did you make these reservations, grandson? Why did you invite this guy, grandson? Can we get Hitler to fucking leave our dinner, please?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In the same room with Goodell talking about the NFL. Yeah. And then I went the complete opposite direction.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And at the time, Pat Boland was still alive, and the, the trust, the trust still has, you know, like, they make the final decisions, but, like we were asking, like, it was a, a local reporter was asking him,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, six years ago, like what are you going to do about the Broncos ownership situations? Like I trust the trust.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And now, you know, that will finally probably change this year, so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No. This is the second one too. This will be the second investigation.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was hoping for a 26 year lagvulin.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's going to make a bid. Uh, Will and I were, talked about him today. He's got a background in comedy, so he shot up very high in, in my list of guys I want.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Also owns the weather channel, which means he controls the weather and I think that's a huge advantage.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's, I don't know, it's like, I just want somebody who's going to really care about the team to purchase them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I don't know, other than like Elway being part of a group or Manning being part of a group.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know who that is. Like I can learn about these guys, but I don't know who's actually going to care about putting a competitive football team together year after year after year. And that's what made Pat Bowling so good. So.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't even know anymore but I think the lawsuits have all been cleared up and that's why they're now able to sell the team.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think one of the kids could put together a bid with a group. Uhm, but I just, that could happen. I don't think it's going to happen.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've made several times, uh, I think the Rams win.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In my video about the Super Bowl, I predicted a final score of 73 to 71, and Bond Miller ends the game on a strip sack. So, alright.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Thank you guys for the help with that too. I really appreciate it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What's up, yo, Scooter? What's up, my man? This is your boy T.O. I am in the building. Let me say this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is not a great time to be a Cowboys fan or a Florida Gator fan right now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] All I can say is you had a bad, bad, bad, bad, bad weekend. Not sure what to tell you, bro.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But you might want to get on somebody else's bandwagon. You might want to jump on this TO bandwagon. Dude, I cannot believe this. Hey, let's start with the Florida Gator. Let's start there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My guy, your guy, Dan Mullin, he's up out of there as of this weekend. The Florida Gators are not.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They ain't doin' no damn chumpin'. They ain't doin' none of that. And, uh, I would say how about them, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cow, boys, but how about them cowgirls? Dude!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What's going on down there in D-town, dawg? What's going on in Dallas, man? Dawg, they are taking a thumping. Let me tell you something, man.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] For all you cowboy fans out there, and I'm not hating, I'm just saying, I just keep it 100, I'ma keep it 100. It ain't how you start, it's how you finish.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Don't get too excited because you guys started out, I think, I don't know, a little bit on fire. You know, Dak is playing, he's playing pretty decent.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But something is not right. Something is not right down there in Dtown. All I can say is K-A-R-M-A.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's all that is going on. Hey, they shouldn't have cut me. You know what I mean? So yeaah, I'm gonna, I'm gonna say it's because of me. So with that being said, uhm, you might wanna, uhm, you know, not bet on the Cowboys for the rest of the year. Uhm,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, you might as well go ahead and just get ready for the new year. So you see my Christmas outfit, I'm ready for the festivities. Thanksgiving is around the corner, man. So I'm giving thanks, man. I'm giving thanks to, to, to you and the people. Uh, I'm just thinking, I thank you, I thank you, Scooter. Thank you for reaching out to me, man. Cause, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I know you're probably having a bad week, bad Monday at that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, it wasn't a great weekend for you and so I did this, uh, this video intentionally.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, pass to see what would transpire, uh, with, uh, everything going on down there in, uh, Gainesville with your Gators. Uh, yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, you might wanna, uh, go talk to the Tiger King and maybe you can get a Crocodile King or something to turn that thing around. Uh, but right now bro, it's not.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Really looking good for you. If I were you, I would go ahead and just, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, play some fantasy basketball or something like that. Just stay out, stay away from football till next year. You know, just regroup.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And see what happens next year. That's all I got to say, man. Uhm, yeaah. I can't say, how about them cowboys? It looks like, how about them cowgirls? And again, I'm not hating. Dak is playing pretty well, considering everything that's transpired. But hey man, uhm.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You don't need to bet your friends no more. Don't bet your friends.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You can't, bro, if I were you, just throw all your Florida Gator gear away. Throw any cowboy stuff you got away until they actually do something. Cause right now it's not looking good. This is T.O. I'm signing out. Get your popcorn ready.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] With the NFL returning draft, Kings is giving all customers the opportunity to participate in this week's no-brainer offer. So if you download the app today,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is the deal that you will get. DraftKings Sportsbook has mo- DraftKings Sportsbook has moved the spread to Tampa Bay plus 73 to all customers. That means you can still cash in as long as the reigning champs don't lose by 74 points against Allen.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When they bet one dollar or more on any football game. So you just bet a dollar and you get 200 along with it. Download the DraftKings Sportsbook app now and use the code clickbait.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] All new users will receive a deposit bonus up to $1,000 with their first deposit when you use the promo code clickbait. Again, the link is also below in the description.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] DraftKings, America's top rated sportsbook app is safe, secure, and reliable. You can deposit and withdraw your money at your convenience. And if the sportsbook is not available in your state, don't forget about the DraftKings fantasy app. They are offering millions of dollars in total prizes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, and I have to wear those, so in two weeks...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm going to Brandon Perna's house, and I am forced to wear those shoes while me and him watch the Giants and the Broncos play. I don't know, uh, if there's a cruel and unusual punishment, uh, caveat, but, um, yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My, my favorite part of the story, and I, I will get on to more things, but was when the announcer was like, uh, and we don't have any information on this team. Oh yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it's just gotten out of control. Like remember a couple years ago, there was like that bubble boy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That was the no kid in the balloon moment when the, when the guy, when the announcer, I don't know if it was Ross Tucker or whoever it was.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How tall do you think Scooter is? That's the first question. How tall? Cause you don't look that tall. Well, I might be giving away a chat. Get some answers out there and then we'll, I'll talk. So Tree and I, we're in Daytona.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] For the, our very first NASCAR race, uh, Eric Estep was very, uh, from out of the groove was very gracious in getting us media credential for some reason. I don't know why we are considered media, but oh, by the way, um, we just crossed 3000 viewers.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We took in the race. It was beautiful. And then on Sunday we had sort of an open day. We were hanging out at the Airbnb. I was like, Scoots, I'm going to be in Sanford. Do you want to grab dinner?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Someone recommended Hollerbacks, which is a German restaurant, on Twitter, cause Scooter just left it up to chance and just trusted Twitter's judgement, which is, which is a way to live your life, right? Trust Twitter's judgement. I agree.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, uh, we go there and people are doing the polka, they're doing the chicken dance with an accordion. I thought Weird Al Yankovic was gonna come out. Some dude played a saw. He was playing Amazing Grace on a saw.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes. Scooter shows up and I don't know what the chat says about his height, but I'm seeing five eights. I'm seeing five six. It's very, Scooter is way taller than I expected. Scooter, what are you? Six three? No, I'm six one. I have been listed


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Maybe I've shrunk 6'1". We're gonna go 6'1". 6'2". I'm 5'10-ish. I could be 5'11 in the right shoes. Tree claims that he's 5'11, but I feel like he's 6' flat.