[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And we liked the idea to have the shop in a location where it will be easier for people to visit, instead of having to drive a car for hours into the woods. And something that made this possible was also that my brother Filip started working full time with us this summer, and he lives in Sollefteå.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He has been helping us for years beside his other work as an accountant. And as you can imagine, his knowledge has been so important for us. He is good at all these things that I hate, like paperwork, business stuff and economy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So from now on, he works with us full time and he now has his own little office in our new place in Sollefteå. So you will definitely see more of him in the future. Welcome to the team, Filip! Hello babe.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So now you know about our little project. Someday next year we will open up the doors to our shop. And this really feels like a big step out in the unknown. I'm sure there will be a lot of challenges on the way, but all of us in our little team are very excited.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And now, back to the vlog I was doing. When we came home from our trip to Sollefteå this day, we went to my grand uncle Tage, who lives in the village. It was his 83rd birthday, so we came to sing for him.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Tage is my mother's uncle, and for me he is such a huge part of this village and the feeling I have for this place. Sitting in his kitchen and drinking way too much coffee and hear him telling stories about the old days, that's one of the best things I know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The rest of the days of this week was mostly spent in my art studio, and I didn't film so much more after this, so I think it's time to end the video here. I'm so grateful that you watched this video, and I hope you enjoyed it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Take care of yourself and each other, and we'll see each other soon again. Let's upload to you all.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That something very evil had happened, and it had happened. It was an evil act, 9-11. It killed thousands of civilians.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Once you define yourself as good and the other side is bad, it's...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A slippery slope because you start thinking anything you do for your cause is good. And we wound up doing some very evil things in the name of goodness.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It starts raising a series of questions in our allies and among our own people.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wait a minute. Why are we doing these things? Why are we fighting this war?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you were the good people, why are we behaving in this way?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He said there's one little ride in the street or something, and people say, Henny Penny, the sky is falling. I'm on the ground in the summer of 03 in Iraq, and it's very clear to me that what I'm seeing is very different from what people at the Pentagon are seeing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They antagonize the Iraqi public. There are people we know who join the insurgency because of those images.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Which means that American soldiers torturing Iraqis and photographing it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Helped get other American soldiers and Iraqis killed.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It meant a lot to America, like Saddam's statue coming down.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But it really didn't close anything. It didn't resolve Iraq or Afghanistan.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think I've lost count. But you know, Crane, uh, let me go recently. Oh yea? Yea, I mean, it's no big deal. So, what brings you here? I mean, can I help you with anything? Are you here to see one of the brothers?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, they don't really keep regular hours as far as I can tell. Sorry. It's been, uh, a quiet night so far. I think the twins are out, probably working on a case. Sometimes I don't see them for days. They gave me the job after Crane told me to get lost. He said I was just in the way.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Where's their office? Oh, right this way. I was going there next anyway. I can let you in if you want. You can wait for them there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I guess that would be okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right, you're the sheriff. I just don't want to get in trouble or anything. I'm sure it's fine. I mean, they never told me not to let you in.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I know these guys can come off abrasive at times, but they aren't so bad once you get to know them. And they really care about helping people. They're kind of loud at times, but you get used to it. How do you mean they help people? They're detectives.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Anyone can come in here with a problem and they'll do their best to fix it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The way Dee explains it, it's like if someone lost their cat, well they could hire them to, you know, track it down.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Or like sometimes, they get packages for people. They can be like couriers, you know? Or who? All kinds. Come to think of it, I don't really know where they keep them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Anyways, I'm just saying, you just don't know them like I do. Sure, flycatcher.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm sure you have your reasons, but it's just, they've done so much for me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] See, I knew you wouldn't find anything. Anything of interest anyways. They're detectives, like I said.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're misunderstood, sure, but that doesn't mean everything people say about them is true.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, you know, like when I think about it, you guys aren't that different. You help people, and they help people. Not that it's any of my business, but... Is that what you think?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's a door behind this file cabinet. I don't know what they keep back here, but it might be what you're looking for.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do you think, after all this, do you think I could come back to the woodlands? Since Crane let me go, I mean, I can still work here, but I don't think I want to now. I don't want to work with bad people, you know?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I guess Dee and Dumb were getting the hair for Crane and sending it to her? That's not a pleasant thought.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, so what now? Snow would probably wanna know about this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I knew that we needed US Rangers. The longer we waited, the further he fell back to the border. The military did not send in the reinforcements.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Afghanistan is a devastated country. Many of the buildings in the capital, Kabul, have been destroyed.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sorry about that. Is something wrong?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just so... we're not strangers.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh no, I would never call my mommy that. She treats me alright.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is there, uh, something you want? I don't think I can really help you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, Bigby, I'm gonna trust you not to break anything. Don't get me in trouble.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Mommy uses that to carve her trinkets. It's from the old world. Trinkets? Uhm, like glammers?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Mommy really doesn't let anyone play with that. Trust me, I've tried.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He came from a family of FBI agents, but not just any FBI agents. His uncle was one of the top aides to J. Edgar Hoover. His father had also been a senior official under J. Edgar Hoover.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We lost our moral authority around the globe. Remember, even in countries that hated us, they were crying over what happened to America. And we squandered it. What a waste. What a waste. What a waste.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I sent that to Sean, was it? Yea, I killed the tattoo in Detroit. That was yesterday. Detroit?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're the real ones. The real Skitter fans.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Gotta keep it clean, you know. New music. New music. On the way. Can't tell you when, but it's on the way.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Look at my new couch. It's a cloud.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I haven't quite finished. I'm sure you'll see more of my improvements as you go along.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is this nice? Do I come to your guano field wherever you live and pick up-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it was heartbreaking, uhm, it was shocking.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, I, I wanted to believe very, I so wanted to believe those pictures were not real. Uhm, I, I didn't want to think that Americans could do this to Iraqis.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What was lost was the hope that Americans had good intentions.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That they were trying to rebuild Iraq, that they were protecting the Iraqi people. It did not look like that at that point. To anyone who had still had some hope, uhm, at that point, I think was faced with that reality.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We had now a sectarian strife. We had now armed groups killing whoever they wanted. We had now al-Qaeda rampant in the country.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Friendships were torn, families were torn apart, uhm,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cities will never be the same as they were.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's a, there's a generation that has grown up that has never known one day of stability in their entire lives.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] After the U.S. withdrawal, the Iraqi government was very emboldened and it was free to practice, uh, to carry out, uhm, sectarian policies.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In Ohio today, another mosque vandalized. Saturday, a Pakistani Muslim shot dead in Dallas. And in Arizona, a gas station owner shot and killed. Not an Arab or a Muslim, but an Indian Sikh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Ooh, look at me, I'm Pennsylvania, I don't have crippling social anxiety. Must be nice. Jerk. If you go, I'll go.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's no question there is a Muslim problem in the world. Not all Muslims are terrorists, but all terrorists are Muslims.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Barack Obama has deep emotional ties to Islam.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They've been one of the best teams in baseball all season. They've got such a young team, a dynamic offense. They need starting pitching bad.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] On behalf of all Americans, I thank you for your service.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The war in Iraq was a big fat mistake, alright?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] As far as I'm concerned, we have to fight fire with fire. I have spoken as recently as 24 hours ago.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I have strongly recommended to every governor to deploy the National Guard in sufficient numbers that we dominate the streets.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just keeping an eye to make sure that the comments, like first person who comments, then we know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes, I do do that. We call it a kendama, but you can call it a jingama bob. Kendama? Kendama, yea, it's a Japanese thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, we gotta chat. We got people in the comments. I'm gonna shout out, uh, what's it say? Rolito? That's our first comment. Rolito Diaz Jr. Alright, so we're officially live with the Boi Boi West Coast. How you feeling my dude? I'm good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do you, uh, do you have like fond memories of this holiday from your childhood? Because I'm going to admit as a white person from the East Coast, not something I was necessarily culturally in touch with.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, yeaah, that's one of the craziest things I think about you is just the fact that you are a product of Santa Barbara. Yeaah. And Santa Barbara, for people who don't live in California. You can look at me, it's all good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The, the Santa Barbara connection, that kinda like helps explain maybe where you're coming from. For anybody who's from California, lives in California, might know, it's a very special region of the country.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Very laid back, chill place. But I feel like there's not a whole lot of like musical success stories out of Santa Barbara.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Can you actually ask the DJ to turn the music down a little bit more?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There is a party, there's probably upwards of eight people back there partying right now, which is kind of a thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. I'm gonna dive in after this. So, yeah, we're definitely, we're gonna turn up. We're gonna crack some modellas and everything. Yeah, that's the big plan. Uhm, okay, so, so, tell me about, uh, your upbringing. What was it like growing up? You grew up in Santa Barbara.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wait, but this counts as a Cholo like look, right? Okay, cause I don't really know. When I think Cholo, particularly when I think about the girls and shit, I guess mostly I just think about the girls, yea.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] One time I was hanging out with a girl though and we went to a tattoo convention and it was like a fucking weird ass rockabilly thing and I just remember feeling so like isolated and shut out because I didn't have like suspenders or like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was not fixed up enough at all. My kit was not working in comparison to everybody else at that thing. Uhm, okay, so when did you start getting in trouble or what were you like as a kid?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah, cause at 8pm tonight, I'm gonna be going on live stream and playing, like I play their songs.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right after Game of Thrones, cause Game of Thrones was on at 6. Which you've never seen.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wait till you find out about Arya. If you watch the whole thing, it's pretty wild ride because Arya is like this kid and then she becomes a fucking assassin. She learns how to be this warrior and kill people and stuff. And then all of a sudden she's like banging a dude in like the episode from the other day. And it's weird as shit because you've like been watching the show for like eight seasons.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In the courting? Yea, actually she does. She really like kinda just takes this dude and just drags him and just fucking gets him naked and just bangs him.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Supporting women. Oh, okay. You know? That's what that was. Yeah. So, so were you, uh, Okay, you're 24, but you were just kind of in and out of prison. What was the longest bid you ever did? I'm not in prison, I would say.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's a very California thing that your first job is basically selling weed.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's kind of a big aspirational thing in California as well, is you can grow up and be a trimmer.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You a Post Malone fan? Nah, this music's cool. Will you be smoking shaboinks?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hmm, posty. The one that got away. I could still fight to try to get it, but who knows. I don't know. Uhm, so were you making music all along?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, uh, what, what direction, uh, I got you. What, uh, what direction did you want to go in like musically or what, what was your stuff like at first?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's got a bouncy thing to it. Have you always been a fan of uh, pop music?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, what I really hate Katy Perry for though is when she did that video with uh, with Juicy J. And Juicy J is like not, he's not even in the video dude. It's really, it's kind of offensive. It's kind of like, oh, so you go get this like older black gentleman to be in your video, but then you barely even give him fucking camera time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know, Juicy J has been around forever. 3 6 Mafia put out their first project in 1995. Fuck.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I was born in 83. Okay. So, draws a line in the sand.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Anyway, so your music, were you just like putting it on SoundCloud, YouTube, like what was it like for the first year or so before you started the podcast?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Now I'm here. But did you have any sort of wave really going before this song took off? Cause it felt like you kinda came out of the middle of nowhere.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, so what was the thought process before this infamous video? What were you thinking before it? Was this just kind of a regular thing that just would happen normally to you?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Apparently yea, is that how that works? I don't even, I thought people just like make snippet videos or whatever. I mean, I think that the way TikTok is supposed to work is that you, you sign up and then you make a video. Like you would have made that video on TikTok, but then I think what happened is that somebody just took it and put it on there and it started to really catch on.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So that's interesting. Have you been in communication with TikTok since that happened though? Because they actually, I think, reached out recently to me. Did they? I believe so, but it feels like you're the- Not about me though. No, no, no, no, no, but it feels like you're the influencer that they should be reaching out to. You're the one cracking it open.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I, I, I have Triller on my phone, which I understand to be basically the woe version of it, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do you have like a person who books you for appearances and stuff like that if they want to reach out and want to have you come show up at a club or something like that?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean that's kind of the crazy thing about it is that you were just like developing in this private realm and then all of a sudden you're just thrust into the spotlight by these fucking crazy people on Twitter and shit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, change the game. But, uh, yeaah, so, you know, during lean at all, you're as a THC serve kind of guy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Kids, be careful with lean. Lean is bad stuff. That's right. Stay in school with children. Yea. Drink, diet coke. Diet coke. Yea. People think you might have had corona in the cup.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, okay, good. I don't drink fucking, uh, I don't drink beer, so I'm kinda out of step. I don't know. Everybody seems to want- You don't drink beer? You know, not often. Once on a blue moon.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, I don't know what the fuck they're doing, I just wanna hit people in a game and it has, it makes really loud noises and it feels good when you hit people, it's weird.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean. Hey, some people are trying to say that you're not from Santa Barbara. How do you feel about that?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, they're trying to say that you're a plant, that you're claiming Santa Barbara, you're not really from there. Is there any kind of truth to that? Not a music plant, I don't think.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, definitely. You're thinking about moving out? Have you thought about moving to LA or anything?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Did you have a bidding war around you before you signed?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right. How long was that after that the snippet started to blow up? Was it like almost a media that people kind of recognized the talent and wanted to work with you? Uh, yeah, but yeah, it was.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, it's just, I have like a weird morbid fascination with like all the different like interview channels on YouTube, so I'd be paying attention to so many like strange reaction channels, and there's just, there's just this guy DJ Small Eyes that I'm fascinated by, and I know people who've met him.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's definitely a weird name, but uh, so what do you uh, where did the name come from?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, definitely. No, I was just listening to Cameron on his first album. Not his first album, but one of his albums. Yeah, and the song's called Boy Boy, and it's like one of his best songs in my opinion. Holla Boy Boy!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, okay, so that song starts really blowing up. It kind of becomes like a meme. What was that like for you? You're just like sort of a person who hasn't spent that much time online and all of a sudden you're just witnessing the internet just go crazy with all these different versions of it popping up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And is it weird because I feel like for a while nobody knew your name and then after a little bit of time it became like okay now they're starting to understand who you actually are and not just a meme, you know?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I know tons of people where it's like that, like the dude, uh, Jacob who dresses up as a cop on Instagram.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think what the most impressive thing is that like where a lot of people, their mustache area would come down to their lip, that you put like a solid like centimeter between your lip. That's like a...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Who have you, uh, met since you've been in the game? Any, like, people you were amazed by meeting?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Tons of people out front, there's Kush everywhere, there's just people playing with these weird ball and stick toys. It's a weird vibe over here, yea. In general music business. I mean we had like Filthy Rich in here yesterday and it's just like, yea, it's like, he's a straight gangster and he just pulls up and it's just goofy ass, like all my weird friends hanging out and people got sweatpants on, sandals. I don't know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, yeaah, so are you in a relationship? You got a girlfriend or anything? Nah, I've been single for a while. Couple years now. Yeah. Have the girls been rolling in a little bit more? Nah, yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What's that like? Yes, they are. Is there a, is that something that you've been indulging in?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But have you had that experience where a girl hits you up that maybe was too cool to have sex with you in high school and then now she's down? You've gone for it? Nah, nah, it was cool. For real? Damn, I would do it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's not exactly a ripe playing field, like, in terms of girls, it's not. I don't say that to denigrate the city or anything, but I mean, I have gone to bars and stuff out there, I've looked at Tinder, uuuh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's a little, it's a little rough. It could, it could use some improvement. It's not Hollywood. It's not Vegas. What? You want to hit the blunt? I don't want to interrupt that. No, definitely not.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah. Big doings. That's a big part of our life out here. So you smoke balonce or what's your preferred method of intake?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's gotta be a good thing about being famous all of a sudden that you got people coming up to you and giving you weed and shit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because they think it's going to get you loose, it's going to get you open, get you talking. Us, we give you weed and we get you fucking high as shit and all of a sudden you don't know what the fuck you're talking about. It's part of being on the show.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Nah, people don't always go ahead. Just some of the time. Yeah. Uhm.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah, so, so, making the decision to sign, uh, You are, we're getting big high over here too.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, that was a little flat boy. I could see that description.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What about the lyrics in that song? Have you ever had this experience where you sort of run- It's about a sexy bartender, right? Yeah, it was some chick that, yeah, was a bartender.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, was it a chick that you would like run into a lot of different times, or what was, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Exactly. Chipper is a good word for it, yes. Hey, a lot of people want to know why you blocked Fooz Gone Wild on Instagram. What's the story with that?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What, what, what did they do to help the growth of the, of the song? Did they do anything in particular or were they just sort of memin' it?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was DMing him yesterday. Oh, very good guy, very good guy to know. Actually, I think you guys would get along great. He's like a cool motherfucker. Yeah, you guys actually, damn, you guys might form a group, you might spend all your time together, I don't know why. I just feel like you guys, once you meet Puyo, you might just never leave your side.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think they just went in different directions and stuff, yeaah, but I mean, they're still friends and everything, but I don't know, maybe that could be you. Uhm, what rappers do you listen to?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, he's on Republic. Damn, did you hear about him with the pretzel thing? No, I haven't. Like basically, he- He's super allergic to pretzels, but like- Really? Yeah, but sometimes he'll be like hanging out with like Drake or some shit he said, and then like Drake will be eating the pretzels, and then he'll- like even though he's allergic to the pretzels, he'll just eat the pretzels too, and he'll just get sick as fuck and end up in the hospital.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, he just wants to fit in. So he's just like, fuck, I don't eat these pretzels. I mean, this is like the craziest thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're like, yeah, I, I, I did coke at, uh, this like big celebrities houses. They're like, they're like, I had never done it before. I'm like, why'd you do it?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I don't care. I mean, I've done it before, so I wouldn't be that intimidated, but if like some, if fuckin' Michael J. Fox offered me coke, I'd be like, nah, chill. I don't think I wanna get coked out with Michael J. Fox. You don't think so?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, but I mean that was a long time ago. I feel like now he might be just like partying.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If he does coke, then like, that will like, help him sort of like, get in the vibe. I don't know. So what are your, uh, synchrotomy plans?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like the music video. That video that's on YouTube, that's not, that's not the real deal.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, we got some big interviews, but I mean, we ain't gonna get, uh, we ain't gonna get seven million. Oh, we will. Yeah, you a little Xanthan?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is a lot of people in the chat just trying to figure out, uh, if you think. Wait, is Cole Bennett doing your video?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Nah, he was, uh, we were negotiating with Cole Bennett, but our schedules didn't work out. Really? Yeah. Wow, somebody was just suggesting that in the chat. See, they know about all kinds of stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You don't want to put him in that position. What about the Ram Riddles version that people were saying that he had a version coming out?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know, I don't know how serious you are in terms of uh, the Street Cove, man. Uhm, do you think that, do you think that 6ix9ine's career is over when he gets out though? Yeaah. Really? Yeaah. You're taking a hard stance on that.


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[Assistant] Hmm. Did you, uhm, did you see the new YG video where he's got the whole, like, Mexican gangster vibe going on in the backyard and shit? He's got that fuckin' mariachi band costume and all that shit? Nah, I haven't caught that. It's lit.


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[Assistant] Damn, I wanna show you it actually. It's fuckin' important. It's very important for the culture.


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[Assistant] But it's interesting because it's like, if he wasn't YG, people would definitely be calling it cultural appropriation. But I feel like because he's YG and people love him, they're gonna fuck with it.


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[Assistant] No, these are just all the ways we have this fucking podcast monetized. Cause there's a, there's a good chance that, that YouTube is gonna be like, oh, this boy boy West Coast, he's, he's not monetizable, he's too, he's too, uh, you know, gang related, he's too violent, he's too out there, they're not gonna let us, uh,


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[Assistant] Make money off this video so we might have to just make money by sending some percentage of these people to go buy t-shirts.


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[Assistant] I don't know, I think that they just hate women. Susan from YouTube, she might hate women, I'm not sure. But also, uhm, I don't know. Well, usually when we have girls on here, a large percentage of the time, let's be honest, they're porn stars and they're talking about like drinking nut and shit, so. I guess I can talk. I can understand that. Go, go watch, uhm.


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[Assistant] Like, Gina Valentina's interview was epic. But no, Tiana Trump. If you want to go watch a good foreign interview, Tiana Trump. She's reckless.


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[Assistant] All of a sudden, the Iraqi people started looting, attacked the ministries.


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[Assistant] Having no idea of what might come next.


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[Assistant] I think frankly there wasn't a single person in the CPA.


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[Assistant] It created a climate where people could be expelled as university teachers or grade school teachers.


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[Assistant] We were looking on these as sort of a small group of isolated die-hards that we could largely ignore.


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[Assistant] Everybody understood very quickly we'd elected a government that divided the country.


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[Assistant] And everyone who had to work in the green zone or the area knew.


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[Assistant] That beneath this political structure, there was a virtual vacuum.


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[Assistant] To the extent that the president came to office with a new approach, it was, he really didn't like this war.


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[Assistant] There was this power vacuum. Nobody quite knew what was the plan. The soldiers thought they were all going home.


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[Assistant] Who is Cheney's Chief of Staff. And Libby put Bremer's name for it, and Bremer was sort of the right kind of conservative.


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[Assistant] You know folks, we focus so much on refining the ore that is the big news of the day, but sometimes I like to rake through the smaller shards of news that collect in the slag heap that is my segment.


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[Assistant] Brexit continues to cause turmoil in the UK, but don't worry, England has a plan to evacuate the Queen if Brexit goes bad.


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[Assistant] I'm paraphrasing. Obviously I'm paraphrasing, John. Also, she lives in a castle with 800 rooms. The best way to hide her is just leave her in there.


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[Assistant] The only reason the royals should flee is because of how sweet their escape plan is. Evidently, the royal family's evacuation plan originally involved an escape by yacht, perhaps with an initial cruise around the northern Scottish islands. That's not an evacuation plan. That's a family vacation.


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[Assistant] If things go badly everyone will meet on the yacht. Also, if things go well everyone meet on the yacht. It's really lovely.


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[Assistant] Meanwhile, they'll have help on that yacht because two British art historians have set out to help super boat owners preserve paintings hanging on their yachts. Oh good, so every other problem on earth has been solved evidently.


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[Assistant] According to a profile on the two guys, they started the business after a billionaire asked for help in restoring a Jean-Michel Basquiat painting, ruined first by his children throwing cornflakes and then by the crew


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[Assistant] Meanwhile, the skies recently got a little too friendly, because last month Delta gave out creepy napkins that encouraged passengers to share phone numbers with sayings like, write down your number and give it to your plane crush.


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[Assistant] Oh yeaah. Good idea. We all know plane travel these days is just a 24-7 sex party.


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[Assistant] The Napkins are sponsored by Coca-Cola and feature the flirty prompt because you're on a plane full of interesting people and hey, you never know.


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[Assistant] The place was designed by a fourth generation German butcher named Klaus Buber. Seen here with his only friend.


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[Assistant] Lest you question Klaus' commitment to the meat theme, take a look at the wall decorations he chose. And if that's not hospitality, that's not hospitality. We'll be right back.


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[Assistant] This is one of the most fractious places you could have picked with more problems in terms of it's right on the Shia-Sunni divide.


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[Assistant] It has the courage. It has 20 years of dysfunctional government.


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[Assistant] Now you have a couple hundred thousand people who are armed.


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[Assistant] Because they took their weapons home with them, who know how to use the weapons, who have no future, and have a reason to be angry at you.


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[Assistant] The briefing recommended that the regular Iraqi army be maintained as an institution because we believe that it would be dangerous to put


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[Assistant] 300,000 men on the street with guns without jobs.


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[Assistant] Vanille. We'd fought together once, a long time ago.


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[Assistant] And at the end of that battle, she sacrificed herself.


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[Assistant] There's a lot of chaos swirling around in here. I'd have thought the Order's cathedral at least would still be clear.


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[Assistant] Vanille, who are you talking to? What is this stuff?


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[Assistant] Ah, there must be so many millions of souls and you feel all their pain? That can't be.


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[Assistant] All of those souls at the same time?


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[Assistant] If the prophecy in the Oracle Drive is true, then maybe I should have died.


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[Assistant] Let me guess, the enterprising tourists sneak into the auger's quarter along that track, right?


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[Assistant] Gee, was it the posters around town that tipped you off?


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[Assistant] If you want to betray me to the authorities, go ahead. But watch your back if you do.


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[Assistant] So, the food that these people eat comes directly from the chaos? Do you know what death is?


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[Assistant] I'm fine. I fell into the warehouses.


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[Assistant] Seath or not, nothing's changed. I am gonna save him. Well...


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[Assistant] And you want me to climb onto the set and jump into the palace? I hate to break it to you, but that's a pretty big leap.


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[Assistant] Hope, does that mean you'll be watching the rear? You'll have my back?


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[Assistant] On stage? As what? A piece of scenery?


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[Assistant] What? N-no. I-I can't possibly.


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[Assistant] I mean, what if she gets hit by the fireworks and thrown off the stage?


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[Assistant] Excuse me, I'm here to sign up for the tournament. I was sent to get the dress that's being offered as a prize.


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[Assistant] You'll have no complaints. So tell me, what are your conditions?


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[Assistant] To save the people of this world, I would give everything I am.


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[Assistant] Yeah, I would have. But first we have a reclusive patron to take care of.


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[Assistant] People are supposed to change. Not changing after hundreds of years is unnatural. But Snow, I didn't want to believe his change.


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[Assistant] One last thing. I'm gonna need all of your people to evacuate. There can't be anyone backstage. And the same goes for you. It's gonna be one hell of a bang.


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[Assistant] If we'd set up the explosion as you'd planned it, that play would have been a real tragedy.


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[Assistant] The door is completely frozen over. Is there another way in?


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[Assistant] It was just a mirage. God didn't want me to forget the bait he dangled in front of me when he asked me to be the savior.


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[Assistant] But the moment I realized that, I became aware of something else too.


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[Assistant] When I looked into Sarah's face, when I heard her voice and when I saw the promise of her return, I should have felt something, a surge of joy or warmth.


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[Assistant] But instead, I felt nothing inside. And strangely...


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[Assistant] Forgotten Sarah's love? Or did he just want to keep it safe?


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[Assistant] It better. If it doesn't, then I guess snow is just beyond saving.


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[Assistant] Did you just forget about the pendant? Your only memento of Sarah because you've thrown aside her love? Or did you leave it behind on purpose?


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[Assistant] If you've locked yourself up in there because you thought it was what Sarah would want, think again. Or did you never really know her?


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[Assistant] Looking at this city, I'd begun to worry that you weren't the Snow I once knew. But it looks like nothing will ever change you.


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[Assistant] Sarah would know. I know she would. If she was just here now, she'd find a way to reach and bring you back.


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[Assistant] Sorry about that. You were forced to hold down the fort a long time. It was my fault.


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[Assistant] I knew you'd be fine. You're too stubborn to die.


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[Assistant] It'd be the end of this world, and the future as well.


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[Assistant] Hey y'all, big fan from India, I'm Akash.


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[Assistant] My message for the 4 million people will be, it is basically a quote which my grandmother had told me a couple of years back. It is basically that,


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[Assistant] Use that negativity to achieve success in your life.


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[Assistant] Decline, I think they're in the last throes, if you will, of the insurgency.


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[Assistant] The first step toward his campaign promise to end the Iraq war.


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[Assistant] So we thought maybe it would be a good idea that we would talk to you guys a little bit about sex education, where you guys are at. So between us we've had over three sexual partners. How old are all of you guys? How old are you guys?


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[Assistant] Who's in sex ed right now? Who's in a sex ed class? You are. What are you guys learning right now in sex ed?


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[Assistant] Yeah, I can't dunk. That's never going to happen, guys. But, uh, I also would never participate in a long drive contest. Golf is not my forte, but today I am out on Akron at the famous Firestone Country Club at the College Companies Championship Golf Event.


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[Assistant] Which gets underway later this week. We have three interviews at a minimum lined up throughout the show for you guys with some participating golfers in this event, including one.


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[Assistant] He's pretty good friends with Tiger Woods. Hopefully we'll get some, uh, good stories from him later on. But the first one's scheduled for 11-20, so in about 10 minutes I'll be joining you guys again with a live interview with a participating golfer here in the College Companies Championship. It's quite the event. They went all out setting this up. It is a beautiful course.


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[Assistant] I think it's really good. Bates was really good yesterday, G, by far his.


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[Assistant] The number of passes, the number of shots he passed up to get a better look.


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[Assistant] was double the first two games combined. So, step by step, progress, and definitely less than three games so far.


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[Assistant] Certainly was his best of the three games by far. And anytime you score 20 plus points on 12 shots, uh, you have a lot to be proud of.


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[Assistant] The ethernet, we had a little issue with the ethernet, so I'm on wifi, but I'm on the show right now. So guess what? We got three interviews coming, whether you guys like it or not. We're talking more golf than we ever have on the Ultimate Cleveland Sports Show today because


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[Assistant] Yeah, we are good. Our T-guy just gave us a thumbs up. I'm joined now by Billy.


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[Assistant] We got two more, but first Billy, does this course suit your game or do you have to adapt in kind of a


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[Assistant] Billy, if you could give one tip to aspiring golfers out there.


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[Assistant] Maybe a young guy, maybe a former NFL player who hasn't golfed that much in his life. What's one tip you would give a viewer or someone on the panel to improve their game?


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[Assistant] And I asked that because we have someone on the panel today. And Steve, if you get the tag board of Tyvis's swing ready, Tyvis played in the NFL for four years. He's on the show right now.


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[Assistant] And if we could get his golf swing, we'll get a live reaction and analysis from a professional golfer. So Steve, when you're ready, here's Tyvis. Make sure you keep an eye on the club. Oh dear.


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[Assistant] He missed the ball, and the club's in the lake. And that's not his club, he borrowed the club. That's even better.


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[Assistant] I'll take Billy any day of the week, any day of the week. So Billy, appreciate you making the first stop on the UCSS tour and best of luck this week. Moving forward guys, we'll be back in about five minutes with another interview with a competing partner here in the college company's championship. But for now, see you in a sec.


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[Assistant] We are back and we have back to back golfers on the show. We had our first ever Billy Andre a few minutes ago. Now we've got Matt Goggle the second. You know what they say? First at the worst, Matt.


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[Assistant] Second's the best, so we have high expectations for Matt Gover here. And Matt is making his return to the course after a month off, you were just telling me.


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[Assistant] So this tournament is kind of sandwiched between two of the majors on the senior tour here.


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[Assistant] Excuse me, I read the notes wrong. This is the major because of the monster, duh. Discourse.


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[Assistant] It's unbelievably hard. Yeah, well, I'm driving in and looking at some of the whole placements and some of the trees and some of the lines you have to get through. How do you guys play this?


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[Assistant] You want the course to bring out the best players and the best player to prove that he is the best over a four day span. It sounds like from everything we've read about this course and the history here, best player usually comes out on top.


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[Assistant] And if the answer is yes, I want that in your least favorite home.


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[Assistant] Can't beat it. We're in beautiful Akron, Ohio. This is the golf paradise. When I think of golfing, if Akron's not the first team, the first hound that pops into mind, I don't know what you're doing.


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[Assistant] Akron now belongs to college. That's just how the rules work. I don't make the rules. I just tell you how it is. I got two more things for you here. Sure. Matt one key to a successful four day run for you.


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[Assistant] Is it staying the fairway off the drive? Is, I mean, making the cut is obviously...


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[Assistant] A key in any tournament, but for you particularly, what is the key over this four day stretch for you to shoot a successful?


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[Assistant] How often do you give non-professional golfers some tips on how to improve their game? All the time. Well then, hey.


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[Assistant] Steve, can we see Tyvis's golf swing real quick? We have a professional here that wants to let us see how, uh,


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[Assistant] Let us see how you swing. This is Tyvis. He played in the NFL for a few years. Watch his, uh, club. Ball's still here. It's not his club either, by the way. He borrowed that from his buddy.


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[Assistant] Perhaps it was a sign of how desperate the times were that, you know, I got the nod. I don't know.


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[Assistant] Okay, I said get ready because it is going to get harder before it gets easier. Uh, we are going to take away from


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[Assistant] Uh, al-Qaeda, Sunni insurgents on one hand, and then Shia militia extremists on the other.


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[Assistant] We went back into the neighborhoods in Baghdad and other areas that were also threatened by this ever-spiraling sectarian strife.


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[Assistant] And that was very, very tough and it continued to go up and American Casualties continued to go up to the May-June time frame.


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[Assistant] They'd gotten tired of Al-Qaeda. Al-Qaeda had been abusive, uh, it had been blowing Sunni Arabs up and Sunni mosques up in addition to, uh, Shi'a Arabs and mosques. And so they were keen to get these individuals out of their areas. Petraeus made a bold move.


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[Assistant] Uh, you have the reconcilables. We want to get as many as possible of them again to be part of the solution instead of a continuing part of the problem. And then that will identify the irreconcilables.


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[Assistant] We saw a dramatic reduction in violence, and ultimately over the course of the surge, the level of violence was down by some 90% or so.


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[Assistant] Ironically, the ambassador was not there. The U.S. four star was gone, so here I was on the ground as the director of the CIA, uh, ended up in shuttling back and forth between the different parties.


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[Assistant] With M1 tanks all over the green zone pointed at different houses.


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[Assistant] And tragically, what it did of course is it, it started the process of undoing


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[Assistant] It was a catalyst for a renewed sense among the Sunni Arab population, uh, that they once again didn't have a seat at the table, uh, in their country, and that their leaders, uh, were targeted, uh, by the government. And that had a very, very harmful effect.


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[Assistant] Not only do you not have Sunni awakening groups or sons of Iraq that are helping the Iraqi security forces, you actually have a population that had, became disenfranchised once again.


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[Assistant] That developed a feeling that they didn't have a seat at the table in Baghdad.


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[Assistant] I swear that kid is a demon.


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[Assistant] I've been vacationing, I've been getting, I've got two college kids.


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[Assistant] It's gonna be a good job.


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[Assistant] Well, my, uh, last time here wasn't, if I remember, my Thursday and Friday was pretty sucky and then I played well on the weekend. But, uh, you know, this is, uh, this is the hardest course we play maybe outside of the U.S. senior open.


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[Assistant] Uhm, so we know that. We know that going in, you know, you're not gonna shoot, you know, 18, 20 under par. This is, uh, and this is also four days. Remember, we're old. Yeah. So, four days for us. A lot of these are three days for you guys. Yeah, usually three days, so.


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[Assistant] Four days, uh, helps, uh, string it out a little bit. I think the younger guys and I'm one of the younger guys, uh, have an advantage because, uh, uh, you know, those, uh, this is a major we're walking. We're not taking golf carts, you know, on some of the knock on the champions tours that we get to take golf carts. So, uh, this is pure golf on a hard course.


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[Assistant] The guy that's playing the best, uh, in the last few years. Now, I go back to my TV days. I was doing the, you know, the bridge to the world, the world golf champion. One of the play, actually was a world golf championship when Tiger won it all the time.


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[Assistant] Uh, and I did this event four or five times, uh, a couple for Golf Channel and CBS. Uh, so I'm familiar with the golf course and, and I've played it obviously, but, uh,


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[Assistant] Uh, you know, it's just a, it's a great challenge. Uh, and right now, I mean, it's obviously the three Steves and Bernhard are playing the best. I mean, Bernhard really took it to the younger guys.


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[Assistant] A couple weeks ago at the senior open, I didn't play that week, we were celebrating a birthday, but it looked like a tough, tough golf course and you have to put it in a fair way and that's what this golf course is all about.


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[Assistant] And, you know, look at Jerry Kelly, hits a lot of fairways, Steve Stricker's playing unbelievable.


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[Assistant] Uh, he's one here and the other Steve, you know, Steven Ames is a really good player too. So, you know, you gotta play well.


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[Assistant] Well, I think my favorite hole is probably, you know, the famous 16th. Uh, I think they moved the tee up for us one or two days and, you know, if it's firm, you can get down the hill and go for the green and two par five. Uh, I really don't have a least favorite hole. Uh, I think probably the hardest hole is number four.


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[Assistant] So, and it's long, so 460 yards. So, uh, you know, we, for us, you know, this is, is, you know, this is, uh, the,


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[Assistant] Probably the best test we have all year. So you have to drive it well.


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[Assistant] Uh, but they're all three. I mean, it's just kind of a golfer's paradise down here.


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[Assistant] A long week, but, uh, you know, I'm driving it well. I'm doing a lot of good things and, and my putting has always been my strength. So if I can limit the damage off the tee and hit a lot of greens, I can play pretty well around here.


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[Assistant] And I'd go down to Canton Brookside and play in a lot of the Hall of Famers. I knew a few of the guys, Marcus Allen was the Kansas City Chief, I'm the Kansas City guy.


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[Assistant] This passage by closing this dam and forcing all the water to go down this way.


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[Assistant] You can go right now on our shorts page and there's a whole commercial that I did supporting Nick Chubb's serial. It was shot by me, edited by me. Shout out to my videographer, by the way. My wife definitely helped me out. She follows me and shoots cameras all everywhere. So, uh, yeah, but this is really good, man. I had some.


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[Assistant] Uh, shout out, they sent me some boxes and I ate them. It's Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Like, what are you talking about?


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[Assistant] You can get this exclusively at Heinen's. You can check it out. Uhm, I think they got two different box colors here.


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[Assistant] That means it ain't happening. That's not true. That's like, listen, G. Bush, man, G. Bush was on a parlay for stealing two bases tomorrow. I'm not gonna steal two bases. It's not, I'm not even playing. If you were on a parlay and you were a straw, that is so disrespectful. That means your stick game is terrible. Pause.


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[Assistant] How are you gonna give me extra work on a Friday, G? What do you mean? I have to cut every time he says pause.


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[Assistant] I got 14's. What do you got? Man, give me the, give me the Chiefs.


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[Assistant] The Bengals, the Eagles, and the 49ers. The rest of y'all can get smoked. Alright, the two that I had in there, that you don't.


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[Assistant] But I will say this, they got the Two-Headed Monster.


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[Assistant] They got a good back. Aaron Jones and Dylan, they gonna run play action. Christian Watson. They like Christian Watson. I like them a little bit. I think they can be sneaky. The NFC is so


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[Assistant] Trabisky, Sam Howe, every year they just gonna do it. See people be liking their names. Drake May. That sounds like a ballplayer. Seven on seven.


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[Assistant] To be truthful, to be truthful, this shouldn't even, if you just look at on paper, the browns have gotten considerably better.


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[Assistant] Since last year, if you look at the rosters, roster for roster on them teams, the Browns by far have a better roster.


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[Assistant] Three or four guys on my team that are the best at their position. In the entire league. It's not just about that.


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[Assistant] Miles Garret. Okay. Chubb. Okay. Batonio. Okay.


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[Assistant] Listen, that's, that's why I can't. Geno Smith, like, so you telling me that the Geno Smith Seahawks is going to be better than the Browns? I can't, you can't have that.


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[Assistant] That's a very, like, if we plan it like that, that's a good, that's a good answer. Family few, good answer, good answer. I'm gonna say this man, uhm, I have never seen in my life a smaller sample size sway the opinion on a elite quarterback. I have never seen six games


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[Assistant] The top of the food chain down to like, oh my god, we don't even, like, if you look at those six games and you look at what he, I put the stats up. He has a hundred, and I think he has a hundred and eleven touchdown passes.


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[Assistant] And only about 40, 41 interceptions. Like, look, this is career stats.


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[Assistant] And people took these stats, threw them out the window and said, let's talk about six games. I don't think that they- That's crazy.


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[Assistant] That's a really good point. Like, if he was just hurt and came back...


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[Assistant] I don't want people to diminish this. Like when people say people hate people, you look at what Michael Vick is today. Michael Vick has made one of the biggest turnarounds ever as far as being in the media spotlight and people going from they hate you. Listen, there are people that love their pets more than humans.


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[Assistant] It seems like those veterans get like a second win. They get more invigorated.


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[Assistant] Just think about it. This is why, it don't matter what the NFL does. We rail on them all the time. The reason why the NFL is, it is what it is, is because we could literally sit here and have 50% to 49%. That just shows the amount of parity from year to year. All these teams are a good team.


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[Assistant] There are bad players and there are bad coaches. But why every single time you change somebody, every fan base and every media that they got so and so, I believe that's a great hire. He's going to come in and change, bro. He got fired here, bro. How's that a good hire? Like I'm listening and then trust me.


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[Assistant] You know, they, the NAACP's to get on me, they be like, ayy, lay off.


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[Assistant] Y'all gotta do something. I don't remember. These rookie deals is absurd. These player cards, y'all gotta at least get them down to three years and then option. Y'all on rookie deals till y'all 30. By the way.


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[Assistant] I like that. They got nice tight ends, they got that monster, that mom star from Georgia, and they got a couple other, they still got Fire Booth.


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[Assistant] Like he wasn't out, like, I mean, he, and he did, uh, what? 14, 1300 yards, you told me? He had 1400 yards two years ago. Now Baltimore's


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[Assistant] So if you take a look at the young guys, I would take Zay Flowers over any of our


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[Assistant] But if you tell, if you tell me, who would you, if you say OBJ is healthy?


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[Assistant] Has that upside. Right, but I'm taking Amari Cooper over Odell. Well no, I'm just saying, other than, that's the premise of what I'm saying is Amari Cooper is solid, everybody else is a question mark.


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[Assistant] And that's why sometimes it's hard for me to sit here and be like, oh, we good without DeAndre Hopkins. I'm like, not really, bro. Like not, I mean, we could get better. Don't get it twisted. These guys is nice, but, um, I mean,


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[Assistant] That's not what I said. If you ain't got an elite receiver, if you got two damn good receivers, you can win.


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[Assistant] And what I mean by two good ones, like, like, yeaah, if you got, like, let me see, Plaxico Burris, and what's the other dude on the other side to play with Plaxico? Mario Manningham.


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[Assistant] Uhm, and then they got to, no, uh, Hicks. Hakeem Hicks, or Hakeem Nicks.


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[Assistant] You know what I'm saying? You, you got two good ones. Like Tyree. Like you, you know, you look at the Steelers. Was Julian Edelman elite? No, Julian Edelman?


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[Assistant] For a year or two that man was not playing with y'all. The Triple Crown winner. Listen, I say-


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[Assistant] I don't understand it. It still makes no sense. I don't know who they had on their team. I don't understand how they won, period. And it was not even that close. If you look at the last four years...


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[Assistant] That kind of comparable to the Browse Lil' Keem. A little bit. But I was still edged. Cuz Zay Jones had a nice year last year. I like what they're doing.


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[Assistant] After he got smoked by them track dudes, I ain't heard what happened to that boy. He had a bad, he did okay, but, I mean. Did he have a thousand? He had a thousand, ninety catches. How many games did he play? How many touchdowns? Six. That's pretty good.


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[Assistant] Uhm, how many games he played? Uhm. I just feel like I didn't hear from you. He played, uh, he played 17 games.


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[Assistant] This year, you got the spreadsheets. Because they added more games, I think you should come up with the new benchmarks for what's good. Well, to me, it's 1200.


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[Assistant] Yeah, 1400s, like, you talk about receptions, like 90 receptions.


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[Assistant] How was he? How was he? Like, I don't get it, bro. I don't understand. How do you have- Well, they didn't lose.


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[Assistant] Actually, it has happened. I think the Arizona Cardinals, under Kurt Warner, had three receivers that had a thousand yards.


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[Assistant] It's not because they don't have the talent, because of this. Let me ask you a question. Do we all see, we can all sit here and say right now that they don't have a different playbook, right?


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[Assistant] They gonna throw the ball. Who? The Browns? Yea, they gonna throw the ball a little more, right? Yea. But can you foresee Kevin Stefanski ever really pouring the gravy on people?


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[Assistant] I mean why, I wouldn't even, to be truthful, it'd be hard pressed to even look another way.


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[Assistant] I've been waiting to get to this, man. Like, there's a lot of dudes. These, see, there's no, you, we talk about, we talk about NFL guys and misses.


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[Assistant] These NBA dudes be missin' all the time. These dudes be missin' and like Johnny, I heard Johnny Flynn the other day. Dwayne Wagner. Man. Like, like come on. Dwayne Wagner scored a hundred.


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[Assistant] My problem is, you got guys like, a man and a sword, Thompson.


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[Assistant] Who is that? They play for the G, G, uh, G League Elite Team, right?


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[Assistant] My problem is, you look at, you look at what they upside is.


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[Assistant] They're, they're, they're tremendous athletes. They're, they can make plays for other people. What's they terrible? What's they, what things they need to work on? Work on shooting. Needs to work on getting his own shot. I'm saying, so you telling me that you drafted these kids


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[Assistant] That's it. They can't get their own shot. They can't hit tough shots. My thing is, okay, if you gonna take a guy like that and everybody says, well, Armani Bates, man, he got so much to work on. Listen, let me just be clear. These Thompson kids, if you ball out and they at the top of the food chain, guess what?


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[Assistant] And he gonna be exuberant. Now listen, what I want you to see is I want you to let the game come to you a little bit before you go off. Cause here's what's gonna happen. People are looking to see how many shots he takes so they can say CG Bush. CG Bush, he should have been passing the ball to Sam Mero. He should have been moving the ball a little bit more.


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[Assistant] Isaiah Mobley better be playing everywhere they got him some relief. Isaiah Mobley is playing. So I'm, I'm, I'm excited about it, man. I'm excited to see what he's talking about because by the way, he's going to a mighty base is going to show a lot of people in Cleveland.


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[Assistant] Now, now think, but here's the thing though, boo. See this is- That's, that's stereotyping what you just did. So, so, so this is what I love about baseball then.


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[Assistant] Baseball people keep an arm in that.


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[Assistant] On dudes all the way down to single way. Right? They got, oh, he's a pitcher. Like, they, they keep an arm in that. And all you gotta do is have one trait. You got one trait. I, I, look, we see Miles Straw have one trait and get a contract. Now the thing about smart teams is, in baseball,


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[Assistant] They, they, they mine this stuff. They keep it as proprietary knowledge because they want to find the next diamond in the rough.


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[Assistant] Now if I, no one would have said that Jose Ramirez was gonna be that guy. He was never ranked very highly, right? Right, that's correct. So when you can mine and find a guy like Jose Ramirez, who nobody really believed in,


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[Assistant] And he turns out to be an MVP candidate every single year. You know what happens? Guys like that, because you believed in them, they take discounts. Now, because you


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[Assistant] Mind the diamond, you found him, you invested in him, now you can go ahead and you can offer him a contract that he might be receptive to because he appreciates what the organization has done.


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[Assistant] Because, well here's the thing, because right now, for the first time, you're, you're, the Cavs are trying to acknowledge the fact that there are other things that they have to do to find good players. Now 40 other teams passed on them, right?


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[Assistant] Right? They could, they 40 teeth passed on him. So the, the calves are saying, let's take a shot at this guy. That's fine. Put him in summer league.


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[Assistant] See, I don't necessarily, I necessarily don't believe he's a long shot. The problem I have is...


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[Assistant] Today, if you ask me, do you want Dean Way or Imani Bates? Dean Way- I don't care.


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[Assistant] It is a long shot. Yes, it's a long shot. I don't believe, I don't, I don't believe there's necessarily a long shot because I'm looking at people that he's already has a better skill set now that are in the league on our team. Dean Wade. Listen.


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[Assistant] I don't think, to a lot of people's point,


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[Assistant] But I will say, at the end of the day, do I think he's gonna be first team all of the year? No. Well, is it exciting to watch a kid that you think has some talent that could turn into be somebody when you know that the Cavs need those type players to hit? Yeah, we're gonna watch it.


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[Assistant] See, he's smart. See, listen, I love marketing. I love marketing. See, Max Streus, believe it or not, Earl know this. They know this.


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[Assistant] Hey, I was listening to Peterlin the other day. Peterlin don't even like streets like that.


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[Assistant] He's way viewing, like, he's like, ah, everybody keeps bringing up the fact that he didn't shoot well in the finals, and I keep telling him it was the finals.


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[Assistant] Like if I don't, if I gain weight in the finals, I'ma tell you, so what? I was at the finals. What do you mean, so what? Listen, this dude, he's not, he's a tertiary player, right? He's a guy that's, that he has a skill set that you like.


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[Assistant] Let me come out here and get my work in. Let me show you, let me show you all that, how I get down. I respect that. I respect that. I respect that. For a dude to come off the NBA finals.


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[Assistant] It's, it's fair, and this is what you're gonna have to listen to all year in the back of your mind. As constituted, looking at the Cavs, you got two.


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[Assistant] All NBA defensive- potential defensive player of the year. Two bigs down there that erase everything. You got- I'm just trying to be nice.


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[Assistant] And now you go out offensively and you get the best two shooters on the market at positions that you needed. You brought back Keris Laverte who has opportunity to get 50 off the bench. He's a, he's a, he's a talented offensive guy.


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[Assistant] Ricky Rubio's coming back, and he's second year after the ACL, and you got some pieces that you might be able to work with down the line.


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[Assistant] Okay, so if, so if we got all of these things here, if you were to say, uh, ehm, ehm, ehm, ehm, ehm, ehm, ehm, ehm, ehm, ehm, ehm, ehm, ehm, ehm, ehm, ehm, ehm, ehm, ehm, ehm, ehm.


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[Assistant] I believe that they would be the favorite to go to the championship and they might give Denver a run for the money if Spoh was the head coach. What do you thought?


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[Assistant] You can have a killer on your team, but you gotta have somebody doing something.


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[Assistant] Will we get to the middle of the season and see the improvements that we want to see? Or will you still see some of the same things with JB? But the problem is they played great in the regular season last year.


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[Assistant] They'll probably lose, they're gonna lose hard. I would say third. I'd say third. Third.


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[Assistant] And another reason because the Knicks, ain't nobody on the Knicks at this point.


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[Assistant] I'll tell you what, I was listening to Dustin the other day, your old partner, he talked about taking his kids to the Savannah bananas thing, right? And he was telling, he was saying how,


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[Assistant] He's starting to see how, you know, having fun.


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[Assistant] I, I, I only, listen, I only care about three pictures. Well, uh, sticks is out, so, uh, we can't care about him.


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[Assistant] Don't forget about Bybee. Let's not act like cause we got Gavin Williams, Bybee ain't still pitching his tail off right now.


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[Assistant] They're, they're what the Guardians were last year. Like, it just seemed like they got that type of energy, like.


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[Assistant] Like, it'd be the people with the beards, even though I'm trying to get one. See, Tyvers, he, he remind me a little, that's like your little cousin. He's like, what would you be? I'd be a basketball player because I'm the greatest to ever do it. I'm a real one.


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[Assistant] Our dropships are standing by to rescue the surviving colonists. Titan pilots, your objective is to hold off the IMC at the shipwreck until we recover the colonists and their leader, James McAllen.


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[Assistant] In recent days, the Etrofanatics, those unspeakable heretics who reject the order, have been gathering brazenly on street corners. They're a sinister bunch, clad in stark white cloaks.


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[Assistant] I wonder if I should tell the Inquisitor this information. It might be important.


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[Assistant] Clementine! Sarah! You were with Nick, right? We gotta go find him.


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[Assistant] Your dad's the nicest man I know, which is why he's not gonna do anything crazy, or not nice.


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[Assistant] Jesus. Hey man, you got any aspirin? Nick, you asshole.


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[Assistant] I know man, I do. We gotta get moving. Okay, Carver's gang showed up. Can you make it? Yeah. Yeah. Good, let's go.


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[Assistant] What happened back there in that cellar? Did he do something stupid? Look, he can tell me. I'm just looking out for him.


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[Assistant] Well, they'll get there. I figure we got about four or five days to reach those mountains. Now, if they're tracking us, we should be able to lose them up there.


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[Assistant] We have to cross that bridge. Let's go. Hold on now.


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[Assistant] We can't all go sprinting across that thing, okay? We get spotted out there, we're gonna be trapped. Going around that lake will take too long.


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[Assistant] Okay, I'm gonna sneak across, make sure it's clear before we bring the whole group over. You think splitting up the group is a good idea?


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[Assistant] I never said it was a good idea, but it's better than risking everyone at once. What's your plan?


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[Assistant] Clement, I can scoot across low and slow, make sure nobody's waiting for us on the other side. We'll have a tough time covering you from back here. Well, we'll just turn back if it gets hairy. Clementine should stay here. She's...


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[Assistant] It's gonna be fine. Okay, we'll see you guys in ten minutes. Just watch for a light at the far side.


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[Assistant] Yeah, well when's the last time you liked anything, Carlos? If something happens, I'll cover you. Come on.


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[Assistant] You could really use your eyes and right now I don't trust Nick to tie his own shoes. You're just still on edge after the Carver thing.


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[Assistant] Anyways, you can ask Rebecca, okay? I'm not gonna get in the middle of it. We've all made mistakes. Done things that we regret. It's not my place to talk about someone else's past, you know?


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[Assistant] Hmm. Can't shoot him. Too much noise. There are only two.


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[Assistant] I'll take the big one. You get shorty. Wish we could use guns. We should be okay.


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[Assistant] So I don't want to get in a fight. You really think he chewed a little girl? Just don't make any sudden moves. And don't piss him off.


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[Assistant] Well, who are you? Well who's asking?


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[Assistant] Well, that's uh, awful nice of ya. What's the catch?


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[Assistant] Damn it, Nick! I told you not to shoot! How was I supposed to hear you? You gave me a clear shot! That shot rang out for miles. We gotta get off this bridge, let's go.


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[Assistant] I don't know, I- No, I don't think so. But he fell over. He fell off the damn bridge?


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[Assistant] Probably get a better view from up top. You'd have an easier time getting up there, you. Feel like taking a look? It'd be just like climbing a tree house.


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[Assistant] Just take it slow, and I'll catch you if you fall. Probably.


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[Assistant] Yeaah. Heh, yeaah it was. The trick was not to look down though.


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[Assistant] Ho, ho, ho, you're fine. You're fine. Just look at me, okay? You're, you're fine.


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[Assistant] Alright, just, just slow down. Just for a second, okay?


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[Assistant] Yeah, well that happens. I mean, guy could have seen all kinds of shit. No sense jump into conclusions.


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[Assistant] See, I knew something was off, so I asked Sarita about their friend. Now they're all worried he's not back yet.


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[Assistant] It's right to get Nick killed because that's what's gonna happen. Now, do you, uh, you still have that knife?


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[Assistant] Okay, well, go get rid of it. I'll find Walter and run interference. Oh, and uh, keep an eye out for Nick.


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[Assistant] Oh, uh, there's nothing. Man, I just wanted to check and see if you're okay.


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[Assistant] What? No, you can't. Nick, you cannot do that. Are you fucking nuts? I gotta.


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[Assistant] I can't live with that on me. Okay, I hear you, but fu- I mean fuck man, do you know what he's gonna do?


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[Assistant] Yeah, yeah. Nick, I'm warning you. This is fucking suicide. I'll live with it. Jesus Christ. Jesus. I can't handle this. Look, Clem, just go do that thing, alright?


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[Assistant] Press that button to stop the balloon from filling. If you get the answer wrong, the balloon will keep filling up. If nobody on the team knows, you get three second penalty and it goes to the other team. First team whose balloon pops is the loser. Got it. Alright. Got it. So as soon as you know the question, girls, I'm starting with you. Alright.


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[Assistant] I am. What do you want? Saw you coming and I thought I'd meet you halfway.


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[Assistant] Huh. You don't look like assholes. Are you assholes? No offense or anything, but you know how it is out here.


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[Assistant] Fair enough. You folks headed north, like everyone else?


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[Assistant] I see at least one group a day move through here. Y'all look the same. It's like a great migration of the dazed and confused.


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[Assistant] Carver? Like George Washington Carver? The peanut guy?


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[Assistant] Never heard of him. But now I want some peanut butter though. I gotta say, you two look like shit. If you need food, I've got some canned stuff in that station back there.


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[Assistant] Hey, no problem. Nice running into friendly faces out here. Like I said, I've got food and supplies back in the station. And if you... want...


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[Assistant] Yes, Chirag. One day you'll die and we'll all die.


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[Assistant] Good idea, guys. But tell me, what prize will the winner get?


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[Assistant] Alright, so let's start. On your mark.


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[Assistant] Guys, let's begin. May the best man win. On your marks.


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[Assistant] Oh nothing, Walt. Walter here's one smart sumbitch. Makes a mean can of beans too. Well, why don't you two


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[Assistant] You know, I half expected to see Lee walk up next to you. You guys were like two peas in a pod. Oh shit, I didn't mean to... It's just hard not to think about it, you know?


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[Assistant] I knew it. I knew he would. That guy had a fire in him, sure as shit.


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[Assistant] Sounds like it ain't been easy for you. I'm sorry, darling. I wish I could have found you sooner.


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[Assistant] For some reason I tried to save that fucking shit bird, Ben. Then it turned into a damn cluster. Couldn't help the kid, but I got out. Long story short, I got lucky. Real lucky. Spent a long time alone after that. It, uh...


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[Assistant] And then I met Sarita. Thank god. Gosh, it's great to have you back.


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[Assistant] Clem, this is my girl, Sarita. Ain't she beautiful?


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[Assistant] Hey Walt, where's Matthew? He still out there rooting around? Of course he is. Well, I'll start dinner.


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[Assistant] Could use a hand outside. We got a lot of supplies to bring in before that storm hits. Sure. Clem, why don't you help Walt with dinner?


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[Assistant] Peaches and beans. Great for nutrition. Not too great on the way out though, I tell ya.


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[Assistant] What's that supposed to mean? I'm just saying you look like good friends, that's all. So, what was your plan here? Hold out for the winter? Actually, we were thinking of moving on. Somewhere up north. You ever heard of a place called Wellington? Wellington? The hell is that? A place.


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[Assistant] Supposed to be a big camp up near Michigan. Michigan?


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[Assistant] Listen, Vanilla Ice, I don't know what your deal is, but you're more than welcome to take off in the mor- That'd be just fine by me. What's the deal with these guys, Clem? Hey, fuck you, buddy. It's fine, Nick. We're not staying.


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[Assistant] Man, I know one advantage of living in the apocalypse is not dealing with that shit no more.


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[Assistant] I was just gonna check the windows round back before this storm hits. Give us a hand? Sure.


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[Assistant] Clem, go on inside and get to bed. Walt and I gotta talk for a second.


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[Assistant] Uhm, the read we get on the people of Iraq is there's no question about what they want to get rid of Saddam Hussein.


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[Assistant] Nothing seems to have really changed the culture of Wall Street.


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[Assistant] A culture some feel has simply lost its bearings.


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[Assistant] John Fullerton is a former banker who says it all began when banks started trading for their own gain, and not for their customers.


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[Assistant] Came to Wall Street in 2007 after beginning her career in academia.


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[Assistant] Her work was used to predict when big pension funds would buy or sell so the firm could jump in ahead of their trades.


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[Assistant] Caitlin Klein came to Wall Street in 2004. She says it was all very seductive.


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[Assistant] Klein was a math major at New York University and considered becoming a teacher


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[Assistant] But based on performance, that number can rise quickly. Star traders make huge sums.


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[Assistant] For most of the last century, bankers made the same salaries as lawyers, doctors, and engineers. The last time Wall Street saw extravagant compensation was in the run-up to the crash of 1929.


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[Assistant] At the time, it wasn't uncommon for bankers to take home paychecks that, when adjusted for inflation, rival those earned by bankers today. But it didn't last.


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[Assistant] The changes were formalized in the late 90s as the last of the depression era reforms were lifted.


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[Assistant] Claudio Costamano was the co-head of European Investment Banking for Goldman Sachs.


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[Assistant] For traders, derivatives are a perfect product.


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[Assistant] The problem with derivatives is that they can be very dangerous for unsophisticated customers.


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[Assistant] And traders are incentivized to get the deals done, even if it's at the customer's expense.


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[Assistant] And to maximize profits, banks want to do business where there is less regulation.


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[Assistant] Beginning in the 90s, many American banks found London preferable to New York.


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[Assistant] Hundreds of young bankers moved here from Wall Street to pursue careers in derivative trading.


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[Assistant] Desiree Fixler, a graduate of the London School of Economics, sold derivatives for Deutsche Bank and JP Morgan.


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[Assistant] On the trading floor, they were known as F9 Monkeys.


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[Assistant] After pricing the derivatives, teams of investment bankers hit the road.


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[Assistant] Take for instance, this small town. Casino. An hour south of Rome.


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[Assistant] In 2003, a team of investment bankers from Bear Stearns arrived at Casino's City Hall and met with officials.


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[Assistant] The interest rate the deal was pegged to began to rise.


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[Assistant] Casino found itself paying hundreds of thousands of dollars more in interest than it bargained for.


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[Assistant] By last count, over 1,000 municipalities and institutions across Europe entered into similar deals with other banks, like Merrill Lynch, UBS, and Deutsche Bank. Potential losses are estimated to be in the billions. Scores of lawsuits have been filed.


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[Assistant] It wasn't just in Europe. The banks did deals in America, too. In places like Birmingham, Alabama, seat of Jefferson County.


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[Assistant] In 1996, it had squandered two billion dollars to build a state-of-the-art sewage system. People were left with sewers to nowhere. And huge monthly bills.


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[Assistant] In 2002, the county was looking to refinance their sewer debt by issuing another three billion dollars worth of bonds.


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[Assistant] One of the products LaCroix was pitching to Jefferson County was an interest rate swap similar to the one Cassino had entered into.


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[Assistant] A former local TV reporter turned politician named Larry Langford took charge of the county's finances.


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[Assistant] The county suddenly owed hundreds of millions of dollars in fees and penalties to its debt holders, including J.P. Morgan.


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[Assistant] It turns out LaCroix had paid money to Langford's friend Bill Blunt.


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[Assistant] According to federal prosecutors, the money was for bribes.


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[Assistant] Three million dollars from JP Morgan to Blunt, who in turn passed money and gifts to Langford.


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[Assistant] Langford went to jail on charges of bribery and fraud. He is currently serving a 15-year sentence.


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[Assistant] Langford's friend Bill Blunt cooperated with authorities and is serving four and a half years.


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[Assistant] JP Morgan settled with the SEC for 25 million dollars and was ordered to forgive the county fees totaling 697 million dollars.


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[Assistant] Charles LaCroix was sentenced to three months in jail after a similar deal in Philadelphia.


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[Assistant] Jefferson County filed the largest municipal bankruptcy in US history. Across the country.


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[Assistant] Over 100 school districts and hospitals, as well as scores of state and local governments, bought interest rate swaps. With the crash, the deals backfired.


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[Assistant] In the last five years, bad swaps have cost American taxpayers $20 billion.


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[Assistant] On Wall Street, the derivatives business is sometimes called the solutions business.


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[Assistant] Traders are constantly looking for big problems to solve.


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[Assistant] And some of the biggest problems and opportunities were in Europe.


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[Assistant] When starting in the 90s, countries were bidding to join the Euro Club.


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[Assistant] So bankers descended on European capitals, offering derivative solutions.


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[Assistant] The first known case of a country using a derivative to windowdress its accounts was in Italy. Officials in Rome had been struggling.


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[Assistant] Not all the details are known, but Italy and JP Morgan entered into a currency swap, a commonly used derivative.


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[Assistant] Except in this case, the swap was more complex. It had a built in loan.


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[Assistant] In 1999, Italy was allowed into the Eurozone.


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[Assistant] Italy said derivative deals had little effect on their acceptance. But nobody really knows how many deals they entered into. JP Morgan declines to discuss the deal.


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[Assistant] But De Paglia says the bank did nothing to fool regulators or other European countries about Italy's financial health.


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[Assistant] De Palier insists that his deals for JP Morgan were all above board. He won't vouch for other banks.


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[Assistant] But in 2003, Nick Dunbar published a story in Risk magazine uncovering a secret deal between Goldman Sachs and Greece.


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[Assistant] The article revealed that Goldman had sold Greece several giant swaps to help Greece meet its targets.


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[Assistant] With its books dressed, Greece had kicked its problems down the road.


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[Assistant] For the next several years, Greece would also go on a massive spending spree.


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[Assistant] Between 2001 and 2008, Greece's debt had doubled. No one it seemed wanted to ask any hard questions.


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[Assistant] The newly elected government of George Papandreou would arrive in office claiming to have no idea what the true size of the debt was, or what tricks had been used to hide it.


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[Assistant] George PapaConstantino was the Minister of Finance.


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[Assistant] Papa Constantino had to deliver the bad news to his fellow European finance ministers.


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[Assistant] With the markets no longer willing to provide Greece cheap credit, the country had to cut spending. People took to the streets in protest.


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[Assistant] Other European countries had no plan in place to deal with the situation.


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[Assistant] Today, it's Spain, an economy four and a half times larger than that of Greece.


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[Assistant] Last fall, as the European debt crisis worsened, Occupy Wall Street launched its protests in New York.


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[Assistant] On one side are the 12 federal agencies responsible for protecting the public interest. On the other, the bank lobby.


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[Assistant] Ever since the passage of the Dodd-Frank Financial Reform Act in 2010,


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[Assistant] The two groups have been in a virtual deadlock over what kind of rules are acceptable.


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[Assistant] The industry has spent over $320 million lobbying lawmakers. To date, the rule-writing process has been slow. Few rules have been finalized.


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[Assistant] At the Federal Deposit Insurance Corporation regulators are meeting to discuss banks that are too big to fail.


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[Assistant] Across the table are officials from the FDIC's Office of Complex Financial Institutions. It is their job to plan for a big bank failure.


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[Assistant] Separating proprietary trading from traditional customer-oriented banking.


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[Assistant] They submitted their proposal to the SEC, the FDIC, and the Fed, in the hope that the Volcker rule would be tightened up.


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[Assistant] Recently, the government tried to create tougher rules for banks that trade more than $100 million of swaps annually. The bank lobby swung into action. The outcome?


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[Assistant] Only banks trading more than 8 billion dollars will be subject to oversight, leaving 85% of all derivative players outside the reach of regulators.


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[Assistant] Overarching observation, uh, is that those folks were generally not well received. People were not responding to them like we might have hoped. They never were significantly engaged, they never significantly contributed, at least in my mind. If you can sort of get a snowball rolling, if you can get, uh, the local support, and locals want to join the force and that type of thing, then it perhaps becomes another matter, but that was not happening at all.


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[Assistant] I saw the opulence of the palaces. Getting to and from there though, you fly over these mud huts that look like something, you know, right out of, uh, uh, I don't know, the birth of Jesus. And the contrast is just remarkable.


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[Assistant] Uh, so when, when troops entered Baghdad and there was a level of looting, uh, I, I think I understood so long as the Iraqis were, were taking office furniture out of the government buildings and the regime, uh, headquarters, locations, those types of things. And we watched it for two or three days, I think pretty much with that attitude.