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[Assistant] No, so I think the, right now in the NFC, like, the team that can beat the Cowboys right now is gonna be the 49ers. Like, I still think there's a gap between those two, but I think it's easy to say the Cowboys are the second best team in the NFC right now.


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[Assistant] I mean, what didn't? I mean, Love really struggled, uhm, a lot, especially like early. He kinda came on in the end, you know, which was really nice, but struggled early. Really no run game besides AJ Dillon a little bit, who also broke his thumb in that game that came out today.


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[Assistant] Uh, on top of that, we did end arounds with Jayden Reed so many times that it just didn't work at the end.


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[Assistant] Then you look at the receivers who were definitely not on the same page as Love. Then the most disappointing thing was the defensive pass rush because the pass rush has been phenomenal.


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[Assistant] No, I was gonna say something, just like, watching Tommy DeVito play, like, as someone who is Italian.


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[Assistant] All I know is he tweeted out go pack go also.


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[Assistant] Right now, if you had to cut a player from the Cowboys roster, would it be Tony Pollard or Brandon Aubrey?


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[Assistant] I thought so. Okay. Cause like, dude, Brandon Aubrey is like, that story, first of all, is amazing, but he is like legitimately having one of the best kicking seasons. I think he is. He's hitting 60 effortlessly. He can hit it from 70.


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[Assistant] Gift becks? Baskets? I got you. A mock draft? Is it a mock draft?


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[Assistant] They said, so I actually put this in like the GPS rundown, I think like, was that like two weeks ago Perna? We just never wound up talking about it. It was like, there was a meeting between like the top heads in the NFL and they're basically saying within the next like five to 10 years, like about it being a global brand.


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[Assistant] Um, I think going to Brazil is brilliant. I mean, I just know like there's a huge fan base just like in my community that's from Brazil. So that's awesome. They're gonna be getting, um, they're gonna be getting like that kind of support.


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[Assistant] I, I've said this a lot, like, I think international NFL fans are some of the most die-hard fans because it is a pain in the ass to wake up at like 2 o'clock in the morning to watch a Sunday night football game and like those folks that do it, like, well I'm streaming every single time so the more places it can go, like, I'm all about it and I think Brazil, that atmosphere is gonna be phenomenal.


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[Assistant] That was nice. Uh. No. This one we got a battle of backups. Did they announce for the Raiders who they're officially starting? I know yesterday they were announcing it. It's AOC. Is it AOC? Cause he wasn't yesterday. He said no.


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[Assistant] Thank god, cause I'm, I'm behind on two. I'm trying to make them both happen at the same time. I got muffin mix. I got it. And now I just am waiting for the Italian like table. Oh yeah, you got two food ones. I'm holding on.


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[Assistant] Oh, you know what? I like this a lot, Justin. The ukulele apology, but it's about the curse wheel because he's been cursed at all the teams. You know what the ukulele apology is, Perna? No, but that's a good one.


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[Assistant] Yeah, like the content creators like, like saying an apology with a ukulele from crap what they did. I think you could do that.


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[Assistant] I also love how quiet you are because you blew out your mic when you screamed. Yeah. Oh, I screamed loud.


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[Assistant] So here's the thing, this is the one that they only had in a small, so I'm gonna see if this fits over my boobies.


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[Assistant] You know what? It's very much a shame. The jersey I look the best in, believe it or not, is a Cowboys jersey. I don't know what it is. I don't know. It's cause I never see the sun and it's just like that pale moonlight kind of


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[Assistant] Mac Jones, by the way, is my mid-season MVP.


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[Assistant] Tree knows all of the, every single defensive back that has ever played football. What do you think about Perna's take that Champ Bailey is the greatest DB ever?


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[Assistant] I can't. I can't do it anymore, Dennis. I can't do it anymore.


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[Assistant] I mean, it's too, it's too early, right? I mean, like, you guys played, like, one against the Raiders, who are not a good team, by the way, and I fully say that as the Packers lost to the Raiders too, meaning they're not a good team either.


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[Assistant] So yea, no, like they, and it was a backup QB too. So I think you need to see him for a few more games before you start making any grand gestures. I think it's more concerning because the Bears organization as a whole is like, yes, we got out the Kinks last year. We figured out that he was our franchise guy and then they were in the same exact place by week five.


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[Assistant] So, I think that's the bigger issue. I don't know if he's gonna be the guy. But then again, I don't know if anybody could be the guy for Chicago, cause I don't know if they're developing quarterbacks right, to be honest.


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[Assistant] I think at the end of the day, like, the issue is, is that if Watson was like the backup and he didn't have that contract, they wouldn't even be going to him. Right? So it'd be like, cause they have PJ Walker.


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[Assistant] Right? They have DTR. DTR is banged up, right? I think he's like, he's still banged up. Like they don't have any solution there. Like none whatsoever.


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[Assistant] So it's kinda like, alright, well, we have to rock with the guy that we're throwing a kajillion dollars at and also traded our next three years of draft picks for because there's no other option. And even if he looks god awful, it's like, well, we got a ride or died with him because that's all we got.


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[Assistant] That was the thought process, right? I don't know if they thought this defense would be that good, but their defense has been good because they've just been building it through the draft, right? I remember when they got Denzel Ward and I was like, damn, like that secondary is going to start coming along. They got Jay. Okay. I was like, all right, they're, they're building a defense back there.


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[Assistant] And then of course you have, you know, Nick Chubb, who literally could just operate that whole offense. They got a wide receiver one in Amare Cooper. They're like, okay, like that last piece is Deshaun Watson. And if he looks like he did when he played for Houston,


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[Assistant] There's Super Bowl contenders easy. So they're like, yeah, we'll sell our soul to the devil here. Like we will give them this huge contract. It's all guaranteed. All these draft picks. Because if this hits, we're going Super Bowl.


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[Assistant] And unfortunately for them, it did not hit. And so like, this is now the punishment that they are gonna have to, uh, endure.


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[Assistant] I think it's, I think it's TJ by like a little bit right now. I think it's TJ. But, um, Miles had like an insane game though. But dude, right now, my defensive rookie of the year, it's, it's gotta be Witherspoon. Like he is just different. You're welcome, Seattle. You're welcome.


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[Assistant] So Rod Taylor, I don't think is the answer for your franchise. It's not like, man, he's our franchise guy for the next eight years.


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[Assistant] But he looks more comfortable and is taking less sacks behind the same old line that Daniel Jones was behind and was getting destroyed behind. And while Daniel Jones definitely is faster, right, and I think has a higher ceiling, and


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[Assistant] I wanna also give it, he's had, Tarad has had Saekwon back, which is nice too. Cause Saekwon had been out for a while.


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[Assistant] I think it's until Tarrod Taylor looks like he can't do it anymore, and then you put Dan Jones back in, because other than that, like, that guy's operating your offense, he's got you a win, almost beat the Bills, it's not pretty, but...


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[Assistant] I mean, what else do you do? I know the contract's not great, but it ain't Deshaun Watson level. So it's like, if you think you can actually win some games, you stick with Taylor.


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[Assistant] It's short in love. Dude, like, here's the thing though, the pro- cause I said the Saquon point, the issue is that the sack numbers are still worse. Like when Daniel Jones is back there.


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[Assistant] Because the guy is getting obliterated, even with Tyrod Taylor back there, he's taking less hits. So I agree, Daniel Jones is eventually gonna get the start, because they're paying him so much money. But at the end of the day, there should definitely be some concern, because you had Saquon at the beginning of the season, and you still weren't winning games. You were getting shut out. You scored your first touchdown at home last week.


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[Assistant] It ain't much better with Jones. So I'm saying just going forward, that's where the concern is gonna lie. Like, okay, why, what is Tyrod Taylor doing? Even if it's just taking less hits that Daniel Jones isn't, because that's gonna wind up shortening his career and potentially his shot at being there.


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[Assistant] I think regardless of what happens, if the Bills lose, it's like really big panic time, but even if like they have to like blow them out of the water and I don't think they're gonna. They're not. I don't think they're gonna. Like they just don't look like a good team right now.


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[Assistant] You know what? I will say the Monday Night Football is actually, it turned into a solid game. I thought it was going to blow out, but like 49ers Vikings was a pretty good game. Yeah, Vikings show the world and that's what they do. They're not normal.


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[Assistant] Oh yeaah, it's me, I forgot. I'm doing things. Baby. Yeaah.


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[Assistant] One in sixteen, fifteen, four. If I get asked about Sean Clifford again, I'ma throw myself on the floor. Because Jordan Love is taking over and that's a fact. And every time I watch him, I have a heart attack because I'm scared. I'm nervous. I'm nervous.


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[Assistant] I-I doesn't- I don't- I don't trust that it is. I've watched it for too-


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[Assistant] I, I, I don't understand what this is, but I feel like this looks like it's inappropriate for everyone watching.


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[Assistant] Your dad? We're talking about him and Brandon! My dad's on vacation for two and a half weeks, I'm watching his dog.


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[Assistant] I, I can try this. I, so I, I did a hot tag. I don't like muffins. I don't like muffins. So I could, I don't, I'm really bad at baking. I can cook. I cannot bake though.


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[Assistant] I think if Bill goes to Chargers, Michael, it's the beginning of a new era for your team.


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[Assistant] Pretty funny, the Packers draft a quarterback in the first round when they don't need one in my team.


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[Assistant] Uh, refuses to draft a quarterback in the first round when they do need one.


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[Assistant] Paxton Lynch scared John Elway so bad he wouldn't pull the trigger on Josh Allen. He wouldn't, uh, I mean we could have had Dak if we didn't have...


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[Assistant] Paxton. No Josh Allen or Lamar Jackson could have either one of those guys. Uh, who is, who, who, who else did he miss after that?


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[Assistant] Uhm, I don't know, it just, it ruined John.


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[Assistant] Scooter, how would you feel if, let's just say


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[Assistant] Your, your cowboys lose this weekend. Let's just say they lose, okay?


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[Assistant] But your consolation prize is Bill Belichick as your new head coach.


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[Assistant] Uh, the vibes are nauseating, Scooter.


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[Assistant] I'm not going to be satisfied or happy until the day after round one of the draft, when I know what the plan is. Because like Adam, I am praying my team, uh, selects a, a pinnix, a bonix, or does a massive trade up for, for a different quarterback in this draft.


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[Assistant] Now, there are people who will try and tell me that quarterbacks are not the Broncos' problems. And I would say to those people, you ain't watched this football team play football since Peyton Manning retired.


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[Assistant] And it's not so much a knock on Russ, I would be happy if Russ comes, well I don't know happy, I would be content if Russ comes back next year. Uh, he did play better, but like.


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[Assistant] They asked him for, uh, to rework his, his contract a little bit and he did not like that and then all hell broke loose. So now we're just, we're in the most, the most


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[Assistant] Mundane, unexciting corner of purgatory you could imagine right now. There's no answer for us. There's no answers. No easy answers. If we trade up for a quarterback, we're going to have to give away everything. And we're just starting to get our capital back from the Russ trade. So.


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[Assistant] All- all I know, I'm trying to find the silver linings, I- I- I-


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[Assistant] Maybe I'm wrong, but I feel good about Sean Payton as our coach moving forward. And I actually think his relationship with our general manager is good. And I think that relationship with our ownership is good. And I'm just hoping a little time, a little patience.


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[Assistant] Uh, that came out of nowhere, kinda like all these firings. It's just like, what? But like...


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[Assistant] We were, I think fans were curious to see if Jarrett Stidham would look any better with Sean Payton. And he looked the same. He looked the same the first game, maybe just a little bit worse the second game.


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[Assistant] So, and I said the worst thing that could happen is that Stidham comes out and plays exactly...


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[Assistant] As average as Russell Wilson had been playing and that's exactly what happened.


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[Assistant] Uhm, and I just listened to Pat Sertan talk about it on the DNBR podcast. Uh, they posted a clip. And...


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[Assistant] And he, he kept it pretty like, you know, like PC, like, you know, it's, we're a team, it's business, all this stuff. Uh, we tried to have Russ's back, but like the last thing he said, and I can't remember exactly what he said.


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[Assistant] But it was one of those things where you go, oh yeaah, I don't think the players really liked this, this move at this point at all. Uhm, so, there's a thought that like, look, we've got,


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[Assistant] We've got a good head coach. I think Sean Payton's a good head coach. And we've got like some guys like Pat Sertan who are, who are great and guys who've been there like Justin Simmons, uh, the team.


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[Assistant] Over-performed after under-performing and now it's in a spot where it's like...


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[Assistant] Do we, do we just like really just start to tear down and let Sean Payton build the team how he wants to? And it's like a shitty thing to say because there's so many dudes on the Broncos that you kind of like and root for, but it feels like we're this close to just burning everything down and letting


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[Assistant] I think that's how it kind of operated in New Orleans, but he had Drew Brees, I think.


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[Assistant] If we just get a quarterback, it'll be fine. And I think him and him and George Payton work together. I don't think, I think there's, there's stuff Sean wants control of and wants to do. And then there's a lot of stuff he wants to let George Payton do. I think one thing George Payton does really well is evaluate talent through the draft.


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[Assistant] They found so many nice players and undrafted free agents, so.


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[Assistant] You petting your Sean Payton over there? We're done.


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[Assistant] For the Giants, breaking news for the New York football Giants.


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[Assistant] Dude, just like, Shannon Sharp and Chad Johnson just riffing together after football games when they do their night recaps or whatever. That stuff is so good. Like, they are so good together, they're so entertaining.


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[Assistant] So, like, and I wonder if like Stephen A. Smith says that on his podcast if McAfee's not at ESPN, right? Like ESPN brings in McAfee whose platform


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[Assistant] It's, it feels like there's a change where ESP and talents being allowed to


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[Assistant] Be themselves, be more outspoken, not necessarily on ESPN, but like you're saying Scooter, like I don't know if this happened on Stephen A. Smith's podcast a year ago, but now it's like, okay, what other crazy stuff are we going to get like some of these people talking about?


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[Assistant] What is this? This is a bracket. This was, uh, this is what I think will get there in a very predictable Ravens 49ers scenario, Ravens win. So I got the Texans over the Browns this weekend. Wow. Okay.


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[Assistant] No, no, not one tweet. No, no, no, because if the Packers win, he doesn't have to do it.


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[Assistant] So anytime the Packers are trailing or there's like a bad play for the Packers, he has to tweet that.


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[Assistant] Oh, oh no, my offensive line's bad? Is a doctor gonna fucking stab me in the lungs?


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[Assistant] Currently or, uh, I mean like, all time?


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[Assistant] Yeah, I got the Jets. Uhm, and it has nothing to do with the Bills. Uh, it actually has to do with the strength of schedule because the Bills did win their division last year. They get a tougher schedule and they're just going up against like some tougher opponents. And if you look at the Jets, I mean, I think they've improved their roster drastically. They almost made the playoffs with Mike White.


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[Assistant] Or Zach Wilson whenever he decided to play. So I think, yeaah, with Rodgers back there, they have a good shot of, uh, winning it. And it's, I had them going, their ceiling for me was 12 and 5. And my, the bills were just one lower than that.


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[Assistant] No, I, I have the Steelers having the biggest upside. I have the Bengals winning the division, but I have the Steelers with the biggest upside. I, I would, I think that they can clinch a wild card spot.


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[Assistant] It's gonna eat itself though. Like if the browns are actually good, like it is going to be what the NFC West should have been.


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[Assistant] Brandon just got done talking at GPS when I introduced the championship belt thing and he's just like, I know nothing about wrestling. I don't care about wrestling. My mind goes, so this is perfect. This is going.


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[Assistant] I think they can get up to like an 8 and 9 record, but I think that they're rebuilding.


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[Assistant] I think Anthony Richardson's upside is pretty significant, even though that team I think is decimated on a couple of fronts. I think Richardson might be able to make up for that.


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[Assistant] I would love for you to try to tackle Derek Henry in the miniature mile high. Just cause I really think you'd be launched out of the stadium.


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[Assistant] No, there's no- if I jumped off a table into gravel, you're not getting grass.


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[Assistant] I think we'll help Dolphin's defense a lot, but yea, they got some questions.


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[Assistant] Someone suggested this though, that he makes, he cuts a wrestling promo, like Supporting the Chief.


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[Assistant] I think it's a possibility because the NFC is trash this year. If they somehow make it to the Super Bowl, I think they are getting the crap stomped out of them by whatever team is represented.


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[Assistant] So NFC North, I got the Lions winning. I think the Packers will have a winning record. Um, I think they'll be competing for second or third, but yeah, I know. I think the Lions, they have the best shot.


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[Assistant] Dude, I will say, I think usually for the Bears fans, the offseason is their Super Bowl, but oh man, the Kool-Aid has been drunk this offseason. They won the Super Bowl.


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[Assistant] Yeah, they're all line is good. They're rebuilding their defense too, but yeah, no, the bears I think will finish last. I think they'll be significantly better than they were last year and not be the worst team in the league. Five or six close to, but, uh, or they were, um, but yeah, no, I think the Packers legit, I think they have a really good shot of finishing with a winning record. I think Jordan love is going to be, I.


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[Assistant] I think that offensive line, I'm so confident in them. Like I'm just worried about the center if we're going to take out Myers and put in Zach Tom, just because there's been snapping issues throughout the off season. But no, legitimately, I think they have, they're a super young team, but I think they have, they have a shot.


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[Assistant] Yeah, Saints win. I think they beat roster. Their defense was really good near the end of the season. Their offense is like, okay, I really like Chris Olave. I'm not even going to consider Michael Thomas until I actually see him out on the field. But I think having Carr is an upgrade from whatever the hell they had last season. And I don't know how to


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[Assistant] No, but I think getting Jamal Williams for that three game stretch will be good. So even if it takes a while for Kamara to like, you know, get the rust off of him, he should be fine. I think that they just have the most complete team while the other teams have either super young QBs or brand new ones.


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[Assistant] I have the Panthers or the Falcons. I think they're going to be like legitimately fighting for it because if like Bryce Young could be decent, like I think a good run game, like I, I, I like the Panthers right now, but yeah, the Falcons tree makes a great point. I mean, their defense, like they improve their secondary a bit. Uh, I don't know about their pass rush. Their pass rush definitely concerns me.


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[Assistant] And then, yeaah, I just don't know Ritter, man. Like, he just, you just haven't seen him. Like, there's nothing that he's done that, like, it's just an unknown, so.


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[Assistant] I, during 30 and 30, I met my first Cardinals fans when I was in DC. There's two guys, they walked up to me and I said, oh, and they go, yeah. As soon as like with the Cardinals jersey. So like they know, like they know.


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[Assistant] He can't connect with the younger people in his locker room. And he's like, they're all on their phones.


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[Assistant] Didn't you beat their backup quarterback, Scooter?


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[Assistant] Yeah, I'm going Eagles, and then I was gonna go Bengals too. It's probably just gonna be the Chiefs again though. Like, it's really boring. But like, the Eagles, I think, are the best team in the NFC, though anything could happen in the postseason.


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[Assistant] I mean, I think the Jets have a shot, like, they could be the Buccaneers, like, in which, you know, they struggle out of the gate, and then, you know, they really pick up after the, uh, after the buy, but...


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[Assistant] I mean, that, that, whoever, whoever represents the AFC in the Super Bowl, legit, I said this last year too, like, I think they're, they're just winning.


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[Assistant] Because the amount of competition, like let's just say it's the Jets, the Ravens, the Bengals, the Chiefs, that are like in that postseason. Like they are just, the Bills, like they're just gonna destroy each other.


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[Assistant] See, I don't think they would do it mid-season, but I think Rod and Rivera's done after this year.


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[Assistant] At the end of last year, it got a little embarrassing. I mean, the fact that he's coming out and saying like, oh, if I knew Sam Howell was good, I would have started him beforehand.


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[Assistant] So hon, I have a legit question, I'm not saying this is gonna happen, I don't think this is gonna happen. Scooter, if the worst case scenario happened and the Cowboys didn't make the playoffs, McCarthy gone?


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[Assistant] 2019, 19, 17, 16, 15, 4. And this is what your dog- What's happening at the chair? There's a dog up the chairs away now. I don't know where 5 went. Are you being attacked by your dog?


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[Assistant] $80, I lose. $55, $55. Oh, I didn't lose. $140.52. Brandon, what'd you make, buddy?


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[Assistant] Alright, so let's, I'll show them real quick, just so, and then we'll get out of here. Here we go. I got it. Oh, you got it? Sorry.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But before we get into this Thursday night football game preview, there has been some news around the NFL. Chandler Jones. What's going on with this man? Mike Evans. Chris Jones.


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[Assistant] Next year when he's eligible for an extension, not delay and do any of these Jerry Jones stall tactics because the longer we delay, the more it's gonna cost. So we'll see what happens with that.


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[Assistant] Yeaah. I'm going to say week three, personally, yes. Alright, we're all yeses. Moving on.


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[Assistant] Mike Evans, similar situation. One of the top receivers in the league.


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[Assistant] Alright, so Mike Evans, final word, maybe he'll get moved. We'll keep an eye on that situation. Let's move on though.


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[Assistant] We've got a lot to get through. Chandler Jones. Does anyone know?


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[Assistant] We're actually going to pivot to JSAVLC.


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[Assistant] I don't know if he's gonna be ready to go today in the game. What do you guys know about the situation?


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[Assistant] He doesn't need Tyre peel. He doesn't even need Travis Kelsey. He doesn't even need great receivers. This man.


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[Assistant] I just think the Cowboys are going to be too much. If we were too much last year for the Giants, we're adding in a Brandon Cooks. We're adding in a Stephon Gilmore. We'll see what Deuce Vaughn can do. Maybe as a third, uh, third down running back, we'll see.


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[Assistant] Alright. Now what do you want to see Brandon Perna in the Sunday night game Broncos vs Raiders? What are we thinking is going to happen in this game?


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[Assistant] This is Zero Percent Chance, because we play the Giants.


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[Assistant] Alright, this has been Clickbait Sports. Bye!


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[Assistant] Another edition of Click Baseball. How many years have we done this show now? Is it, are we in our second year? It feels like ten. It does.


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[Assistant] Speaking of pun- let's do the introductions, uh, down below we have this man who's reading his notes, it seems. He's trying to see-


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[Assistant] If we didn't get derailed, Scooter tried to take the football from me. He's just like, you know what, if you guys don't want to play... Oh, red flash in the corner of my eye again. Alright. Listen, everyone knows who we are. Oh god.


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[Assistant] I think that you are able to talk about them if you do not say the word cowboy. If you do not name any players. You cannot say Dallas.


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[Assistant] You can refer to them as the team in Texas.


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[Assistant] Oh, the Texans. I think you can use descriptor- descriptors?


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[Assistant] You know what? You know what the worst team in the NFL is? The Dallas Cowboys. Like, I just hate the Dallas Cowboys. What do you think about that? What do you think about the Dallas Cowboys scooter?


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[Assistant] I think their best player is their kicker. Love their kicker. Brett Maher.


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[Assistant] We have receipts, we have older ones, and I see people getting 80s and 100s, by the way. Thank you all for contributing to further punishments. Do not send them to me. Send them to this guy or this guy or that guy.


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[Assistant] By the way, I think Brandon should be punished with having to go watch 80 for Brady in the theater. No, I can't leave the house! Yes, you can!


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[Assistant] I'll pay extra. I mean, what if it's available on streaming services? If it's streaming, yeaah. I think you should have to watch 80 for Brady.


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[Assistant] We're sneaking the ball on our own three yard line and this year we are sneaking the ball on their 10 and advancing it and then punching it in and going up a big touchdown. So we are happy where we are.


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[Assistant] It's been a long six years. We have a big matchup this weekend.


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[Assistant] And I, I think the thing is, is like, yeaah, it's not the time to go out and be like, we're going to the Super Bowl! Like, someone on this panel. No, but we are going to the Super Bowl.


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[Assistant] You know, I don't like the phrase we're playing with house money, cause money's money baby. And we are here and we have a shot and we might as well, you might as well go as far as you can. So, this feeling is great. I love it. Let's do it again. Let's do it again.


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[Assistant] He played how you have to play, 300 yards, two TDs, 70 rushing yards, first player ever to do such things. Look here, we have options, right? You have two players. He's quarterbacked this weekend.


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[Assistant] You have two players that you need to sign, say Kwon and DJ, right? You can franchise one or you can.


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[Assistant] Look at how a mad scooter is. Can I get an ice cream on that? Can I get an ice cream on that? Yeah. Upset. Upset.


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[Assistant] Uh, the thing is, is like, you have options, right? You're gonna, what you'd rather see is sign Saquon to a shorter term deal, and then lock up Daniel Jones for a longer term deal. Don't franchise either of them! You want them back?


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[Assistant] I would think with, with Saekwon, yes, you're gonna want to retain him and his services. The two are kind of a package deal.


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[Assistant] But uhm, if you lose Saekwon, it's not going to hurt as much as losing, uh, your quarterback. You need the quarterback, right? Because running backs, as much as I love Saekwon, running backs can be, uhm, replaced.


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[Assistant] But look at the right, look at the column on the right though. Those numbers are going down.


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[Assistant] And 2021 he got injured. Listen.


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[Assistant] The sacrifice that has been made when they tried to make him a pocket passer has only benefited now, right? So like,


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[Assistant] If he's viewed as a guy that can throw from the pocket, then he uses the athleticism, which should have been done this whole time!


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[Assistant] Then, you know, you got a serviceable quarterback who's gonna get, you know, not Lamar money, not Joe Burrow money. Speaking of that, aren't there a bunch of


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[Assistant] Yeaah. Who do you think will be paid? I think it's Joe Burrow? Lamar Jackson? Daniel Jones?


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[Assistant] Who out of those four is gonna get the most? Joe Burrow.


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[Assistant] They just fired Greg Roman because of him, basically. And Roman what? Didn't Roman win a Super Bowl? Roman Empire has fallen.


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[Assistant] I think Burrow for sure gets maxed up and I think also Lamar, I think Lamar and Burrow get similar deals.


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[Assistant] And everybody has the Browns to thank for that, for giving Deshaun Watson an exorbitant amount of money for no reason.


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[Assistant] Okay, like no bones about it, like this dink and dunk.


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[Assistant] Uhm, running game, yeaah, worked against the vikings because they're terrible.


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[Assistant] Daniel Jones is gonna have to throw the ball deep if we're gonna have any shot of winning. That's key to victory number one, right? He's gonna still run.


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[Assistant] Saekwon's gonna have to run, but he's gonna have to make a big throw. Maybe once or twice. Darius Slayton, gonna have to catch the ball. Alright?


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[Assistant] Number two is, we gotta hope that Jalen Hurts is banged up a little bit more banged up than he is on the injury report, okay? Maybe get Dexter Lawrence a new-


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[Assistant] Yeaah, is, uh, Lane Johnson, if he's fully healthy, we're in a lot of trouble, cause... Well, he could still be limping, you know, you never know, they put torridol in them and they just say go out there.


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[Assistant] Uhm, but if they run the ball like they did in the first matchup at the Meadowland or at the MetLife, we're done. So. Tom, what are you doing?


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[Assistant] Uh, logic says that the eagles will likely win, so uhm.


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[Assistant] On the other side, the bills and the bangles, the bills are actually favored by five and a half, I believe. This, to me, is the upset alert. The bangles want another shot.


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[Assistant] And the Bills? The Bills did not play well against a banged up Miami squad.


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[Assistant] This is one where it's right for the taking and, uh, the Bills have been susceptible. You know, they've had the squad for the last two years and we haven't seen them in the Super Bowl. I think the Bills will win. Where is this game?


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[Assistant] It's in Buffalo. It's gonna be really cold, but that doesn't bother Joe Burrow. He's ice cold. He has ice in his veins.


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[Assistant] But I do think that the build will pull it out, but this is the most unsurprising upset in the, uh, in the universe here. And I just got booed by Miguel. Thank you.


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[Assistant] Wow, not just to cover, but to win outright.


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[Assistant] You know, Manscaped sent me the beard trimmer and I was just, I was trying to trim it for the commercial.


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[Assistant] She got sports and bangle on our, on the dumpster fire, where it's just like, you look 52. I was like.


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[Assistant] I didn't, I, I said, I said bills. Oh, so it's up to me.


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[Assistant] I think the Chiefs are just ready, they're rested, they're destined. The Jaguars, as much of a great story they are, they let the Chargers get out to a 27 point.


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[Assistant] And if Brandon Staley wasn't a moron, they should not be in this situation.


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[Assistant] Uh, I think this one's an easy to call. I don't know if the Chiefs cover, but the Chiefs will win. Play the money line.


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[Assistant] Hammer in the money line, but you might only get like, you might bet a hundred and win ten bucks, so. But I think the Chiefs got this one.


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[Assistant] But I would be very happy if the Jaguars win. If Uche can somehow, uh, imposes will from heaven, then...


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[Assistant] I say go Jags. I'm going to be rooting hard for the Jaguars, but I think the Chiefs win. He would do that.


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[Assistant] The final game on the schedule, this is going to be so fun for us to talk about. Yes.


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[Assistant] How about love? Oh wait, sorry.


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[Assistant] Thomas, I'm calling on you, buddy.


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[Assistant] Here, let me give my pick and then we'll wrap this tire fire of a show up. Okay. Uh, what happened last year?


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[Assistant] What happened last year in the last 13 seconds? This defense for the Niners is...


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[Assistant] Of the NFL bin for the history of the NFL.


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[Assistant] And then we're back here next Thursday having a very fun show.


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[Assistant] I don't, I don't, I don't need to prepare a statement, because we're not going to have to read it.


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[Assistant] So what's the deal with airline food? I mean, come on!


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[Assistant] I will watch it. I will watch 80 for Brady.


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[Assistant] Uh, I ha- I uploaded today, uh, dumb things, NFL teams.


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[Assistant] Do, constantly do, which is, uh, basically a video about Brandon Staley.


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[Assistant] And, uh, I'm thinking about, uh, some other, I got, I got a really cool video that I'm working on, but I don't want to give it away. So just keep that on though.


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[Assistant] It was effing awesome. Like it was, it was really cool. Uhm, like I'm a diehard wrestling fan. Like I grew up with wrestling and then I kind of like stopped wa- I actually kind of missed a bunch of the attitude era cause like I remember like one of the last matches I watched was like Shawn Michaels, Steve Austin at Wrestlemania, Mike Tyson, special guest referee.


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[Assistant] And I was a Shawn Michaels fan as well as a Bret Hart fan. And I was like, oh man, I'm upset. And then I realized how cool Stone Cold was. Uhm, and then I kind of left for a while.


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[Assistant] And then I came back I think around like 08, uh, when like Chris Jericho came back with like Y2J and like all that stuff and break the code. And uh, Punk got me back into it and like the summer of Punk in 2011. And so I've been loving wrestling for a long time. And my dad took me to WrestleMania 23 and 24 when I was younger and we drove to Detroit from New York.


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[Assistant] And we sat literally like the last row behind the stage, like obstructed view. And I still was like, this is awesome. Like this is dope as hell. We got like a bootleg shirt from someone selling them on the street. And, uh, I was like, all right. So this year, um, I took my dad to WrestleMania 40 both nights and we sat ringside second row, which was.


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[Assistant] Incredible. Uh, Mike Daniels, the former Green Bay Packer, was sitting behind me. Turns out is a huge fan of wrestling and me, so that was pretty crazy. Nice. Uh, that was pretty dope. Who was that? Uh, Mike Daniels. He was a pro bowler for the Packers for a while. Then went to the Lions, then went to the Bengals.


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[Assistant] And so yeah, it was, uh, it was so much fun. Night one was cold. It was, it was pretty chilly. Uh, so I think the crowd kind of was taken out of it a little bit, but it was really cool to see The Rock wrestle. Never saw that live.


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[Assistant] And then, uh, yeaah. Then I went night two and that was just...


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[Assistant] And, uh, I did not expect that because I was sitting up and, uh, like I saw him come in. I was like, oh Pat, and I didn't even think he saw me. And then, yeah, literally like during a commercial break, like it was like, oh yeah, shout out Tom Grosse's here, like and little Wayne. I was like, oh, so that was super cool. I saw him again at mania too and did a little, so yeah, it was, uh,


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[Assistant] It was a lot. Cause like for wrestling for me, like it's definitely like a connection to my childhood and stuff. So to like experience that and to like see how that main event came together too. Yeah, dude. It was, it was an amazing experience. I'm so happy.


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[Assistant] I mean, that main event, man. I mean, like the Undertaker coming out, like I lost, I marked out, like I lost my mind because I, we all thought it was going to be Stone Cold Steve Austin, which don't get me wrong. Everybody thought it was going to be Stone Cold.


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[Assistant] But like, I popped for the SHIELD music hitting, because I love the SHIELD. Uhm, I was gonna wear the t-shirt, but it was just too cold for it. And then, yea, Undertaker showing up and hearing that gong, yea, I lost my mind.


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[Assistant] Because it got cancelled when I had COVID, because I was going to do it right after the Super Bowl, and then I got COVID, so I couldn't go. So this is the making up for it, going out for a week, going to be, I can't wait. Can't wait.


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[Assistant] I, I think they're going, I actually, so the person that sat behind me at WrestleMania both nights was actually a Commander fan. And, uh, we actually got to talking about this. So yeaah, I think it's Jay and Daniels just because...


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[Assistant] I think his skill set just increases his ceiling and I think his ceiling is pretty high and the potential is really damn high because he has a pretty good skill set so I think it's leaning towards Jayden.


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[Assistant] So here's the thing, let's just say it is the Cardinals, right? That's who the Vikings are trading up with.


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[Assistant] Are they then either 1, gonna wait till 11, and go, alright, hopefully neighbors, or Rome, or Marvin Harrison Jr.'s gonna fall, which what-


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[Assistant] All three of them might be gone by the time 11 goes around, or do they trade back and then trade back up in order to do that because the Cardinals have a crap ton of picks, if it's them. Or do they just go Martin Harrison Jr. and call it a day here and just get the best receiver in the draft?


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[Assistant] I don't even know if it's with the vikings though.


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[Assistant] Because I have to say, like, the Cardinals, because they are very much in the Kyler Murray camp, right? Or at least so they say. They got their offensive lineman, all that great stuff. So they need a receiver desperately, but I think that they could trade down to a Levit. I mean, they could do it, but I think


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[Assistant] I would think the chargers would want to trade down more than anybody because they definitely need to address them as well.


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[Assistant] They should, if the Vikings come calling and say, hey, we'll give you 11, what is it? 21 and then we'll give you something else. The Chargers should take this. They definitely should.


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[Assistant] Perna, if we're gonna mess around, do it right please, and trade the entire draft for the Vikings. If you're gonna, if you're gonna do this the right way.


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[Assistant] I see no one, with that being said, because the titans here should draft joe alt, but I think they draft nyx and tennix, because they go, you know what, kinda same last name-ish a little bit, minus the PE, maybe they make it work.


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[Assistant] Alright, I think at eight the falcon should draft another running back.


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[Assistant] Do the Jets draft Bo Nix to piss off Aaron Rodgers to hopefully lead him to an MVP season because they saw it work for the Packers.


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[Assistant] I just want them to draft another quarterback right in front of the Broncos, so the Broncos are literally left with nobody after all this.


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[Assistant] You know what's weird about that? Is I literally thought about that today and was like, man, that would be a great like charity thing to start an only fans and just like donate all the money to charity. But I then would have like people would, they could keep their eclipse glasses because if I'm shirtless.


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[Assistant] I have the right idea. No, we allowed Perna, for somehow the Bills traded up for Rome and the Broncos could draft a QB. I don't think- No, no, no, no, no. Brandon, Brandon, no, no.


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[Assistant] Can we have the Raiders take whatever good quarterback is left?


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[Assistant] No, the defensive lineman, didn't he just have a deal with one of the draft prospects?


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[Assistant] Is there somebody who has a- There's someone in this draft who has a name that's like car. There's just a different one though. And there's like maybe this one will work out.


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[Assistant] Or, oh, you know what? You could trade for tank del. Instead of a car, you get a tank. Now this is kind of what we're talking about.


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[Assistant] Hold on, Jotty, Roman Wilson to Seattle.


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[Assistant] Wait, wait, wait, wait. We can't undo it. Hold on, I got this. I've been waiting for this. Eagles take Ricky Purcell from the, uh, from the Florida Gators because I know Scooter, it will break his heart because he's, right? Did you speak to Ricky at the combine? Yeah, you did, right?


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[Assistant] What position did he play? He's wide receiver, he's right there. Third down. You picked the wrong guy for the last one, Perna. Yeaah. I know, oops, my bad.


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[Assistant] Chargers. They need a quarterback.


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[Assistant] Do the Chiefs trade up with the Ravens and take the best player available just because the Ravens are like, we're finally going to beat them, and then they even lose to...


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[Assistant] But the 49ers should be Jerry Rice's kid. Oh, that's right.


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[Assistant] Oh yea, had to unmute. Here we go now. I don't even know what I'm gonna say.


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[Assistant] Give me two more hours and I'm out the door. And we know that all the news is gonna break. While I'm hiking the glacier, it'll be a big mistake. Oh yeah. Oh, we got another hundo! Alright, hundo. Try to get it in there.


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[Assistant] We got 15 minutes of football coming your way. Uh, I had everything ready, but we're gonna just start with Tyreek. Let's start with Tyreek. Tyreek says-


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[Assistant] He's going to retire from football. I just wanted to get some rapid reaction from you guys. Is this a smart play on Tyreek's part to let people know, hey look, three years or two years, two more seasons and I'm out.


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[Assistant] Tyree Kill is not the only player who is doing some extra things on the side. Bringing us to our next segment. Travis Kelsey!


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[Assistant] Hosting a music festival at this year's NFL Draft. The draft this year is in Kansas City. He said, you know what?


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[Assistant] It is my time to shine. What do we think about Travis Kelsey hosting what he calls Kelsey Jam Thoughts? Should we go to Kelsey Jam?


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[Assistant] No lineup as of yet, he just says he wants to get about 10,000 to 15,000 people here for the preliminary Kelsey Jam launch.


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[Assistant] If the draft were at your team's location, would you go to something like this?


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[Assistant] Or not smart. What are we thinking? Tom, what do we think about this?


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[Assistant] Wait, what happened to Johnny John John? His contract ran out. He's no longer employed by the Broncos. Is this something or nothing?


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[Assistant] Okay, I have a fake rumor. I wanna join in.


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[Assistant] Fake rumor. It's not happening. Okay. Listed everywhere. People are already saying, oh, legal troubles. He's going to the cowboy. Okay. Relax. Although I wouldn't mind it. Right. That's a false.


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[Assistant] Did you hear anything I was saying?


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[Assistant] I feel like now is the time we should transition to the trivia before I get kicked out again.


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[Assistant] He's in the studio. Jerry Jones shipped this directly to my house back in, uh, 2018 as just like a thank you for everything I've done. Shouts out to Jerry. We appreciate you.


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[Assistant] I probably should have started out here, but you live and you learn.


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[Assistant] Who was the last QB? Give us a team. Give us a hint. Give us a team.


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[Assistant] This one is super tough. Anyone from the 2016 draft, let alone three QBs who have Super Bowl ranks.


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[Assistant] Submit your answers! Oh dang, I just kept Daniel Jones. Dan Jones. He does not ask.


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[Assistant] Open QB. Trying to think of those commercials. The Heisman House.


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[Assistant] I thought Brady Quinn was gonna be good too. I was like, dang, they got a good one right there.


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[Assistant] Yep. That's a good question, Brandon. That's a good one. Especially for the moment. That's a good one. Oh crap. I know at least two. I know two. I know two. I know one that I know.


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[Assistant] What? That's the QB taking over for Kurt Binkert?


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[Assistant] So that should be coming out soon, uh, very exciting, uh, very fun, very fun experience.


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[Assistant] I've met Paolo Banquero twice now. Yes, I have met him. He is that dude.


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[Assistant] Rookie of the year, uh, I'm very excited for his future.


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[Assistant] Sleep at night. I went to bed at 2.30 and then I woke up at work for 5.30. Yeaah.


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[Assistant] Yeah, you do it right now. Like, cause you already picked the song last week, didn't you? Yeah, but I don't know the song. That's even better.


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[Assistant] I love how Tree, like, it's distinct, he puts on his work voice, like he has his like normal talking voice, but like once it comes to work, it's just like,


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[Assistant] No, he's still a solid corner at the very minimum. So I think you have a good secondary back there. I mean, cause Byron Jones is not there, so.


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[Assistant] So, I think uhm, I think they're better, and I really like Wilson and Mostert together, so I think like that's a good tandem that they have, so, they should be fine, it's honestly just gonna depend on Tua's health, so.


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[Assistant] They lost Jacoby Myers too, but they also cut Brian Hoyer just now, so maybe they got better.


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[Assistant] I like the Drupal Pepper signing, but I feel like they're kind of the same. Cause like there's nothing that puts them over of like, wow, now they're going to be woo!


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[Assistant] Uh, I don't think they are getting better.


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[Assistant] So, but no, what I'm, like, they're gonna get Aaron Ra, it's literally just compensation, so I, I, I think you could say that they are.


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[Assistant] They're the most aggressively mid-team right now in terms of freeing because they've made a bunch of moves, but like they haven't moved it. And I have to think that Roger's going on McAfee yesterday and saying,


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[Assistant] Going all the way down to hell to rebuild.


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[Assistant] Didn't the Chiefs offer him like significantly more money, but he just wants to play left tackle?


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[Assistant] He's the 16th highest paid LT, if that's the case, which is a great deal for the Bengals. It's just gonna be a matter of like...


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[Assistant] How's that going to work out? But they also lost Jesse Bates. Didn't they lose another secondary player also? Von Bell, yeah. Yeah, they lost Von Bell also. So their secondary didn't get better.


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[Assistant] I say they're around the same because they kinda did a little at it, but oh, they also lost P rind too. Yeah. Yep. They lost a monster. Make them worse. I'd say like a little worse and they might look


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[Assistant] I want him to go on the Broncos just so you have to do that every stream, bro.


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[Assistant] Yes. Wait, did you just say we're trying to find a T?


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[Assistant] I saw this on Twitter today and I thought that this was phenomenal.


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[Assistant] Because they got, uhm, Thornhill, right? And so if you look at his contract, because of the Deshaun Watson contract,


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[Assistant] So, literally, the majority of his contract, I think it's like 44% of it is all voided just because they can't pay him because Deshaun Watson's cap is $64 million for the next three seasons, not this year, the next three seasons.


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[Assistant] I said this on Twitter today, and I know like the walker trade is probably its biggest competition. If the, like, if Watson is


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[Assistant] Because the Walker one you could argue because of like the results of that trade, right? Like can you look at like how well one franchise did and how poor the other one did? But it's like if the Texans are able to like rebuild with that, then...


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[Assistant] They were suggesting that's what Scooter and Pernis say. Anything is possible.


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[Assistant] The cults got worse when the Panthers traded up for the number one overall pick. It was completely out of their hands, then they got worse.


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[Assistant] Like even right now, like it's hard to be like predicting who the top or the bottom five teams are going to be next year because like there could be a lot of bad teams.


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[Assistant] Oh my God, please clip this for when the Cowboys lose to Jacoby Percet, please, please.


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[Assistant] Scooter, do you want to make a bet that the Commanders beat the Cowboys at least once next season? Sure. Yes! Okay, great. What are we betting?


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[Assistant] Alright, Scoots, because obviously, the commanders are the underdog.


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[Assistant] Because here's my suggestion, if the commanders beat, and it doesn't have to be Jacobi per sec, cause maybe Sam Hallett, if the commanders beat,


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[Assistant] The Dallas Cowboys at least once next season. You have to make a video that is not satirical, can't have any disclaimers about...


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[Assistant] About how the cowboys need to trade DAC to the commanders.


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[Assistant] And you can't like joke about it, you can't put out any disclaimers saying like it's a joke video, you have to be dead serious that they have to train them. Yep. And multiple tweets too.


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[Assistant] I just go on the channel. You could just like be like, here you go. Just gotta go on the channel.


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[Assistant] I would say Kirk Cousins would probably be more believable. Cause if Jordan Love's not good, then you could get a little bit more believable saying like, yeah, we should need to sign Kirk Cousins.


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[Assistant] I feel like that one's better for going for realism. I'll make the Vikings video. That'll be easy because no one's going to believe it, so.


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[Assistant] Whoa, whoa, whoa, Ian Rapport Indie lands it's backup?


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[Assistant] It took a while just to get him suited up on a week to week basis. He healed up, did very, very well in indie. So I think that that is a good trade for Dallas. I don't know if he's going to be able to replicate


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[Assistant] I don't know if you can classify the Cowboys as better because their owner made a decision.


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[Assistant] To fix their mistake that that owner made a few years ago by giving Zeke that contract. And Scooter, if you recall last year before the season, I agreed with you because I said Zeke was hurt the previous year. And so, and before that, he was running really, it was like weeks one through six or something. He was running really, really well.


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[Assistant] But I feel like we can't use that excuse anymore. And just to say Jerry Jones.


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[Assistant] Rectified a mistake doesn't necessarily make them better. I'd put the cowboys around the same. I don't think they necessarily got better or worse if their secondary got better, but like signing guys like Leighton van der Esch who has


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Moments where he's like, yeah, like he's that guy. He had a good year last year.


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[Assistant] But like the following, like the previous year, I think it's just like they're around the same. I think that's where they are. Alright.


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[Assistant] Just put the rams in worse, just save time. Just look at their division.


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[Assistant] Uh-huh, sure, sure time. I know about that secret chat, yeaah.


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[Assistant] I'm, I'm on my JetSpan reaction video, I'm hard in comments.


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[Assistant] They got him from the eagle. From the eagles. There you go, perny. You got a shout out. Local radio.


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[Assistant] They did get Mosley too. Unsutton too. I mean like, I'm talking about the lion still, but. Falcon.


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[Assistant] Vikings, they re-signed Harrison Smith, they're gonna lose to Darius Smith, they're kind of...


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[Assistant] Hey, hey, hey, he looked great yesterday on GPS Prime Time, okay? He looked great.


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[Assistant] Bathing suit aspect as well. I say, since it's a thousand dollars,


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[Assistant] He also like goes all out and paints his face pink.


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[Assistant] Yeah, Mr. Krabs. Yes, he's the guy who like almost throws Andy Dufresne off the roof.


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[Assistant] By the way, I think I secured a guest for tomorrow's GPS. I know that we're not off. Who is it? Don't swear about it. Don't swear about it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, also, yeaah, I just put out a Jets Season fan reaction, so. Is that a hint?


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[Assistant] Hello everyone, we are back after a, how many weeks did we take? A two week hiatus? After like a month hiatus or something like that?


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[Assistant] He's making the Broncos great again. So we have an episode here. Above me is Urinating Tree, a Legacy of Failure.


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[Assistant] Oh, we can cuss. That's right. Uh, Scooter, the fifth member of the crew, is out today. I can't wait for that to be a gift, Ferna.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Very good. Uh, so Trey Lance is now third behind the depth, third on the depth chart behind Brock Purdy, who is starting. Brock Purdy was the last guy picked. Mr. Rowland.


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[Assistant] And then he's behind Sam Darnold, who was a former first round pick.


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[Assistant] Trey Lance is a former number three overall pick.


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[Assistant] And in his career, he's played in two years, he played eight total games.


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[Assistant] For total starts, he has a career passing percentage of 54.9, which is...


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[Assistant] Pedestrian, to say the least. Five total TDs, three INTs. Tom, I think you have some thoughts.


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[Assistant] Now look, on the flip side, okay, I will take up, I will play devil's advocate because nobody's taking up for the 49ers.


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[Assistant] Tom is just running in here shooting bullets like he's Yosemite Sam right at the 49ers. He's just about rooting, tooting, shooting.


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[Assistant] They played in the NFC Championship game last year and Brock Purdy didn't even have an arm. Like they made it far. Like I don't think they're honestly affected by Trey Lance. He wasn't there last year. Oh yes, they did lose all that draft capital and it could hit them, but they made a deep run last year. They made a deep run.


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[Assistant] So, I mean, obviously, I guess you could say, sort of tangentially, that maybe that trade cost them a Super Bowl, if they had those picks.


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[Assistant] Yeah, the one thing is if you watch Purdy play, like, he has a quick release. He has poise. Like, if you look at the film, he does things that Trey Lance simply can't do. He does things that Sam Donald simply can't do.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And again, for being a seventh round pick, last guy pick, like he's a solid quarterback. There's a reason why he's number one, QB1 on the depth chart. It's not an accident.


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[Assistant] Alright, uh, that's the question is, is like, did he actually get a fair shot? Because I think he started two games and then Jimmy Garoppolo, he was, he was not that good and then Jimmy Garoppolo came in and they, they made a deep run. And you have to remember that.


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[Assistant] Alright, switching gears a little bit. Uhm, who are some comparable busts? Okay, if Trey lands, wow, 50 bomb. 50 bomb.


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[Assistant] So, if Trey Lance never ends up developing, right?


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[Assistant] Who is someone that you can compare to him and be like, oh wow, you had a, you were traded for, you had a lot of potential.


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[Assistant] Yeah, but you also don't know how bad he's been in practice. Like, we don't know that. Like, he could be just complete ass in practice, and that's a lot where assessment comes down to.


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[Assistant] Yeah, I think a player that is, uhm, comparable to him might be Mitch Trubisky. You know, just, uh, trade it up for him now.


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[Assistant] So, uh, to pivot here, pivot, pivot, let's talk about Trey Lance's teammate, Joey Bosa. Or was it Nick Bosa? Which Bosa is it? Nick Bosa, Nick. Joey plays in LA. Look at these big nose Republican defenders. Where have you been, Chris? He's holding it. We'll talk. We'll talk.


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[Assistant] How is this gonna fa- are they gonna get it done? Let's talk about notable holdouts. We got, uh,


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[Assistant] Josh Jacobs, we got Bosa, we got Chris Jones. What are we, what's going on here? What, what's the speculation?


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[Assistant] Isn't he worth it though? Isn't he the straw that stirs the Kansas City drink? Like basically Spagnolo can't run his system.


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[Assistant] No, no, no, I don't think BOSA is worth that yet.


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[Assistant] Uh, I think the Dolphins were trying to trade for them and then it just kind of got blocked or fell through. What's going on with that? Anyone know?


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[Assistant] They're like the Patriots when they pulled all the right levers, putting Troy Brown at safety and all that crap, or a cornerback. Like, they just, they just, they're, they're, they're hitting on everything that they do, and sometimes that luck runs out, but you don't know when.


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[Assistant] Speaking of bad luck, Bronco's wide out.


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[Assistant] Alright, I will play this. This is from draft night, I believe, what, 2019? Uh, 2020. 2020. The Cursed Class. Yes, uh, this is me making an ass of myself during the draft here.


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[Assistant] I love it. I love it. I wanted, I love linebackers. Uh, we signed another one, uh, for you, agent, the other day. I don't even remember his name, but, um, yeah, you're, you're getting a first round pick.


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[Assistant] Uh, from a couple years ago that, uh, might have not been that productive but fits, uh, Wink Martindale's scheme.


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[Assistant] And a lot of people, and you got them for practically nothing. Seventh rounder? Come on. Like, just scrap.


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[Assistant] So, should be fine. Now we have both Isaiah Simmons and Andrew Thomas, who actually turned out to be a great left tackle, who I panned that pick very hard, but he ends up being...


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[Assistant] I did want Makai Bekden, who I was also wrong about. So just, I was wrong all the way in that draft. I don't know what hashish I was smoking that day, but it must have been really good.


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[Assistant] Alright, you're not albatross to some guy. You can just cut him.


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[Assistant] You can just eat it and suck and amass draft picks. It's what they're doing. They have so many draft picks.


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[Assistant] They have like what, like 8 or 9 already for next year or something? They have Texans first too. Right, and then they go out and have a 2-win season, and then they're going to be picking right at the top of the draft too? Like, I think they are...


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[Assistant] Okay, like cause they blitz with a lot of man coverage behind it. So for him to play safety or some type of zone or if he thinks he's going to be a robber or something like that, no, that's not happening. He is going to be expected to fire.


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[Assistant] Yes. You know, he signed a lifetime contract with Helmets.


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[Assistant] Uh, yeaah. Oh, I wanna play this one. Oh, damn. I didn't... Actually, I have to download this. You guys find something to talk about while I download this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This was wild. I was expecting to be able to play it, but...


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[Assistant] Like, he, he, he wants to go. So I think if, if he does get traded, which I think he does get traded, it's for a low,


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[Assistant] It's crazy how many expect, how much, how high the expectations are for the bears this year. And they are so unwarranted.


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[Assistant] Yeaah, and that's better, yeaah, like you said, that's an improvement on last year, but yeaah, all these expectations coming out are, are, come to me unwarranted. Alright, wrapping up the show, there's Hiei.


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[Assistant] Uh-huh. See, the, America says six to seven wins.


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[Assistant] Uh, Jerry Jones had some wild comments about Sam Williams today who was caught speeding again now.


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[Assistant] This is the second time getting caught speeding, to give you a little context.


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[Assistant] Yeah, he's like the kind of boss that you still talk about. It's like, yeah, that guy had my back, man. Like, you know, if he likes you for sure. And if you can play the football, Jerry loves you. Yeah, he loves you.


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[Assistant] Alright, and then also here to wrap up the show as we get to the punishment and the countdown.


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[Assistant] Yeah, it's, uh, yeah, because the little people, like, I guess it's offensive now to have seven dwarves. You can only have like one dwarf, right? I don't know. It's 20. All right. Can we do the countdown?


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[Assistant] I didn't know mayo was egg. I thought it was something else. I thought it was just oil.


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[Assistant] Alright, a bears hype video, but like kinda semi-slanderous, you know what I mean?


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[Assistant] That some people, some people cannot squeeze their booty cheeks independently.


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[Assistant] I would be in the NBA. I chose the YouTuber life though. I say, you know what? I'll let them, I'll let them have it. I need to make videos. Okay. The Cowboys need you.


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[Assistant] So for those of you who do not understand what's going on, Brandon Perna won last week's punishment and his punishment was for all of us to watch his very first YouTube video and critique it. You guys have your notes apps open.


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[Assistant] So before we watch this video, can you set us up?


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[Assistant] Tom, would you ever consider doing a stand up event and inviting, uh, the grassy posse?


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[Assistant] This was like Tosh.0 era, right? Dude, Daniel Tosh said something.


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[Assistant] And went to the Bills, not the Cowboys.


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[Assistant] You know what the dolphins want? Dolphins fans want...


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[Assistant] Tua to be, they want to be justified in the Dolphins taking Tua. That's what they want. That's what every Dolphins fan.


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[Assistant] Like the Cowboys, the Dolphins also have maybe 30% of their franchise that just hates on their QB1 for no reason.


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[Assistant] He could come into another system and thrive, or he's just made...


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[Assistant] The fanbase is still primarily Oakland right now. It's not really Las Vegas. So it's gonna take a couple years until that migration happens. We'll see.


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[Assistant] So if you guys were not injured the whole season, let's say you had that elixir, no one got injured the whole season, what's the Broncos record?


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[Assistant] They just want to win their division, is what I'm thinking. They got that.


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[Assistant] Lamar Jackson will get a deal from the Ravens, yes or no.


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[Assistant] Uh, now you're gonna have to find a replacement and who knows.


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[Assistant] When your replacement is going to be at the talent level that Lamar is already at.


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[Assistant] Oh yeaah, someone will pay, uh, a lot of money for Lamar Jackson. I just think it's foolish for the Ravens to even be considering not paying him.


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[Assistant] And then they can see what they can get for Tannahill if anything. How long is his contract? Tannahill's contract?


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[Assistant] Getting blown up frequently. I'm getting messages from people I don't even know asking me if I want to talk about it. That's what's happening. Okay. It's mistakes were made.


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[Assistant] Cowboys. It's very clear what the Cowboys want. Short term, we want to win the last three games and the Eagles lose the last three games and San Francisco lose a game and then we


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[Assistant] Will be the number one seed with a buy. I've done the calculations.


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[Assistant] Don't let us win the division, cause I'm telling you, it's, ooh. That's all I'm saying. That's all I'm saying.


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[Assistant] The Seahawks are looking for Geno Smith to return to early season form where he was playing like an MVP candidate and they also need both the Giants and the Commanders to drop a game so that they can squeeze in the wild card.


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[Assistant] Uh, the Bucks want to win the division and make it back to another Super Bowl with Tom Brady, and then he retires and rides off into the sunset. That's how many players are going to retire right now.


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[Assistant] And uhm, that's right, Tom is hosting. Toasty stick.


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[Assistant] Good evening. It is Thursday, February 9th.


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[Assistant] Golly, we're getting old. I remember when Super Bowl was just, you know, two X's, you know, and now we've got, we've got L's and V's and X's and all that stuff in there. Just wait till Super Bowl C.


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[Assistant] Yes, we'll be lucky if we make it there. My old ass will still be commenting and talking smack.


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[Assistant] So today's episode will be a full Super Bowl preview. I know everyone's talked about it to death. It's like the hype train is losing steam as it pulls into the station in Glendale so that we can actually


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[Assistant] It was good. We talked, we interviewed, uh, the Portland Pickles mascot and he communicated only via sign language and writing on signs.


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[Assistant] Uh, you don't know the story of the exploding whale? So this whale, this dead whale...


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[Assistant] And so it ends up on this beach and they don't know what to do. They're like, oh, we could chop it up. It's like, or we could just drag it back into the water. And somebody just gets this brilliant idea of stuffing the whale's carcass of just, uh, of, with dynamite.


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[Assistant] Like a turkey, like they're just shoving dynamite up this whale's ass. And then they're like, alright, let's just wire this. Okay, we'll get back like, I don't know, 600 feet from it, and then we'll drop the plunger.


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[Assistant] And we'll be done with this whale carcass and like maybe some birds or something will come eat it. Well, they dropped the plunger and they put way too much dynamite in it. Like they put so much, like they put a car full of dynamite. It starts raining whale pieces in


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[Assistant] Okay, just before we get started, uh, if you guys follow Scooter on Twitter, we just want to let everyone know our audience that, uhm, we're Think About Scooter, uh, we're


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, uhm, let's talk a little bit about this game. What?


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[Assistant] Uh, do you think is the key to this game? Brandon, Perna. We will all go around and, uhm,


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[Assistant] Explain what I think, what we think is our main key focus for this game. And what does that duck behind you?


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[Assistant] Yes, the one if you could nail it down to one thing.


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[Assistant] Wasn't Hugh Jackson a defensive coordinator? He was! He was!


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[Assistant] Should be, should be. I'm taking the over in this game because I think the script writers have.


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[Assistant] That's what we're gonna see. My thing is, is like, okay, we talked for eight hours about the Super Bowl.


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[Assistant] Anyways, uh, the one thing that we did not talk about was Spagnuolo and his Blitz Ray. And that to me is the key. Like, did you just fart? Was that?


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[Assistant] Or was that just your chair, a little noise with your chair? Cause I heard a fart.


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[Assistant] I have a punishment to do. I still have not watched.


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[Assistant] I think Brandon should have to recreate that photograph.


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[Assistant] Yes, look how in shape Brandon is cause he's always showing off his body with his frickin dick clipper commercials and all that stuff.


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[Assistant] I'll have to go watch that and toss off later. No, uh, it's Spagnuolo's defense. Like the Blitz rate. So, uhm.


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[Assistant] A lot of talk is about the two deep safeties, right? Like two deep safeties, the shell, whether they're going to run zone, whether they're going to try to man up. Like, I mean, the Philly offense creates just a lot of mismatch problems for any defense. They can run the ball, they can pass the ball.


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[Assistant] Now can they pass as effectively as Patrick Mahomes does? We'll see. But I think a lot of people sleep on Jalen Hurd's ability as a passer. But I don't think any of that really matters when you're sending pressure. And apparently


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[Assistant] Uhm, you know, I saw a tweet by Brett Coleman, you know,


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[Assistant] The, uh, chiefs, I think, blitz like 55% of the time. Some ridiculous amount of pressures being sent and from different sides, uh, from different looks, most likely from the zone. And I'm just that.


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[Assistant] Because look, there's gonna be points in this game and whether, uhm, Philly can score against a clever defense, I wouldn't say an overly talented


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[Assistant] Chief's defense, but a very clever one. A very well coached one. A very aggressive one.


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[Assistant] So will that to me as the matchup is like how aggressive do they get? There's not going to be any surprises in the game plan from either side either. Oh, I disagree.


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[Assistant] Ooh, that's a good segue. Can we predict a crazy play?


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[Assistant] In the Super Bowl and what do you think it will be?


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[Assistant] Brandon, give me a crazy play in the Super Bowl. What do you think will, what is the craziest thing that will happen?


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[Assistant] We're talking about a trick play. What type of crazy play do you think will happen in the Super Bowl, Scooter? What do you, what do you think is gonna be some off the wall madness where you're just like,


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[Assistant] Do you think Miles Sanders will line up at center? Miles Sanders at all?


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[Assistant] I mean, I think he's gonna do well in, uh, in LA. I wanna say, uhm,


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[Assistant] I'll never be convinced that they're the LA Chargers. You just will not convince me. Tom, give me a crazy plague.


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[Assistant] I honestly think the craziest thing that is going to happen is that Kelsey doesn't, that the other Kelsey doesn't score a touchdown.


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[Assistant] I mean, in terms of like a crazy trick play or something like that, he sacrifices like maybe one of those plays where he catches it in the flat and then pitches it to like a Kaderius Tony or an MBS because everyone collapses on Kelsey.


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[Assistant] Well, for anyone that has siblings, right, you, you certainly understand that love is not like sugar, like, it's, it, or love is like sugar, there's a finite amount and it has to be doled out to each kid and there's definitely a favorite. So, uhm, yeaah, I think, I think we're


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[Assistant] Yes, so Jason Kelsey, or Travis Kelsey will have the most diabetes of the year.


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[Assistant] Have y'all seen those clips of Travis Kelce's dating show? That was insane.


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[Assistant] What the key to the game was, okay, what do you think the key to the Super Bowl will be, Scooter? Since you, if you want to catch up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I would be surprised. I'd be surprised. I think it'd be closer. I would be shocked. I think this is going to be a good game. This is probably going to be one of the best games like back and forth in a while.


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[Assistant] I don't see. Hold on. Scooter does. Hold on.


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[Assistant] Scooter does have a point. I don't see any, like...


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[Assistant] You used the cowboys as a litmus test? Just saying.


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[Assistant] Clickety-baity. Not clickety-baity. Code clickbaity. Spelled down, right down there. Right there. Alright, let's talk about some problems.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Rig the Super Bowl. Uh, for me, the way that I would fix it is, uhm, one team gets out to a huge lead. Maybe a 40 point lead.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes, and everything's going well. It's swimming. It seems to be over. And then...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And they're just like, alright, we gotta stop. And it only takes like 30 minutes, you know, like maybe 20 minutes to clean it up.


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[Assistant] Right, right, so he's like, he sees Kelsey open in the end zone, but instead he sees the Chinese spy balloon, and he chooses America over Travis Kelsey. And he takes down the Chinese spy balloon.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It blows up, and they have to stop the game, and then, you know, they give him a presidential commendation medal. Then the game resumes, and it's just all Chiefs from then on. Like, freak things happen, fumbled kickoff, you know, muff puns, and then the Chiefs on the last second to complete the 40 sec, 40 point comeback.


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[Assistant] They throw a screen to Travis Kelsey who takes it 98 yards.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Takes off his uniform, revealing Hulk Hogan, you know, like the Hulkamaniac shirt and the underwear underneath and then everyone hugs and they say America is best. And the Cold War version 2 is now over.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] As Batman, that would take that. Chris Farley. They should do a parody Batman, where it's just, oh, okay. Anyways, Tom, script the Super Bowl, please.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Has anyone not given their script? I think we've all given our scripts.


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[Assistant] We did, we did. So Gadel is eyeing each one over right now. We're like a musician that just submitted their demos.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And hopefully he gets back to us and picks up our scripts.


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[Assistant] My thing is, is there should never be a false start missed. Like there should be an official in the Booger McFarland mobile that goes up and down the sideline and his only job is to call false starts.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They've been missing those for years. They've been missing those. Like there should be a guy within, in a golf cart or whatever, in a scissor lift, just hitting a button every time that there's a false start.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because it happens a lot. I mean, the Giants got away with one. Evan Neal totally false started in the playoff game against the Vikings. And uhm, they should have a sky judge for just that. Just that. Because they seem to miss it all the time. Uh, you mentioned Rihanna earlier.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I wanna know what everyone's favorite halftime show of all time in the Super Bowl.


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[Assistant] And then like disappear into a fog of smoke and then MJ appeared out of nowhere in the center of the state. Cause I really thought that that Michael Jackson was on top of the scoreboard. My eight year old brain was like, how do you get up there? And then when he disappeared and then showed up, I was like MJ's magic. He really is.


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[Assistant] Yes, he was, and then he was very much, uhm, jacked, or I would say a little, uh,


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[Assistant] Uh, I would say the Britney Spears one was, um, pretty bad because she was so bad at singing. Like, she was never known as a vocal talent, but they didn't have her lip sync, so it was, uh, pretty bad. The Blues Brothers did it too. What? Now there was one show.


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[Assistant] I think way back in the day where they had like the Louisiana something.


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[Assistant] Marching band or something like that, yeaah. It was a tribute to Mardi Gras, Super Bowl IX or IV. Yeaah.


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[Assistant] Uh, no, Super Bowl III, they had the Florida A&M University band. Like, it used to, this halftime show used to be like a joke.


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[Assistant] Oh my gosh, Pete Mountain, Doug Kershaw, Irma Thomas, Nickel State University Marching Band, and the Southern University Marching Band. This was Super Bowl 24 in 1990. Who's Pete Fountain?


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[Assistant] I don't know. He's American jazz clarinetist. They had a recital


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[Assistant] What's the next one that you hatin' on? Super Bowl show.


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[Assistant] No, we're gonna wrap up with that, but I gotta know which, which the next worst Super Bowl was.


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[Assistant] That was when Timberlake was at the top of his game.


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[Assistant] Yes, that was. It was 2004. And then they invited Timberlake back later.


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[Assistant] I didn't give a score. Okay give a score.


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[Assistant] What you said on Tuesday was Chiefs 2724. You sticking with that?


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[Assistant] And to close out the show, I said Eagles 30-27 because I don't know why. It's just gonna be one of those years.


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[Assistant] I think Tree should have to do a 4 minute darkness retreat and, and just report on that. 4 minutes is pretty long to be in the dark.


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[Assistant] Uh, well, pending sponsor approval, I have, what is the largest stadium possible that could be built? It's very nerdy. I actually had help from my buddy Jack on Twitter that, uh, he's a, he's a stadium render, he does stadium renders and knows a lot about stadiums. So I did a little interview with him and


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[Assistant] Alright, we'll see you guys next week. We'll have something to talk about. We'll have a Super Bowl to dissect.


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[Assistant] Yo, though, cuz I did, I did, like, it's not view-wise going. Are we live? Would you just help?


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[Assistant] I forgot something. I have my punishment.


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[Assistant] But I was supposed to put it into a montage, but I did not have time today.


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[Assistant] This is glorious. You're getting your Twitter blue paid for. Now what I can do is I can upload the pictures of the calendar to StreamYard and show them to you, or you can wait for the montage.


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[Assistant] We'll wait, we'll wait. Alright, alright, we can wait, but can I tease you with one-


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[Assistant] Let me up. Oh wait, no, I can't convert it. I cannot tease you until later. Sorry, because I hate it when you airdrop something.


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[Assistant] He's gonna just say Anthony Richardson for everyone. Uh, I think the Texans are gonna take Will Levis.


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[Assistant] QB Kentucky. Levis? I'm going to go CJ Stroud. I think that's the pick they're going to.


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[Assistant] Now Brandon makes a great point, like Stiken got a lot of results out of Jalen Hurts, right? In Philly. A, you know.


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[Assistant] Throw and run, type quarterback, a will, a Anthony Richardson, type QB.


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[Assistant] If there's one guy that he can pick, that would be the guy. So yeah, you, I think you're right there, Brandon. We agree for once.


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[Assistant] Well, according to Barry, yes. You can, if you smoke one marijuana, you're dead.


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[Assistant] Uh, then, uh, you make the call, Tom, because you gotta go do your important meeting with, uhm,


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[Assistant] I think with this whole deal that, uh, who just got the new deal? Who just got all that money?


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[Assistant] Gimlin hurts. I think that Lamarr comes down to reality and just signs whatever tender that the ravens give him.


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[Assistant] They're gonna be so bad next year. Their defense is loaded now.


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[Assistant] Oh, so you can Roethlisberger it. Yeaah. Never take no for an answer. Trade not accepted.


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[Assistant] How'd you pin that thing to your, uh, that Benchworm or Brew thing to your Twitter profile? Twitter blue, mother licker!


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[Assistant] Nah, well, it was your fault. You scared them away. I take full responsibility.


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[Assistant] Why, why wouldn't they take a tight end there?


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[Assistant] Because they're trying to protect old Aaron Rodgers. I'm just saying they gotta stay on brand. That's what the Jets do.


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[Assistant] Bam. Bam. Give it to him. Give it to him.


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[Assistant] I know this is super early, but who has a worst year next year? The Broncos or the Packers? Give them Dwayne McBride.


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[Assistant] Yeah, just throw it out there. From UAB, he's a talent. There we go.


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[Assistant] Yep, that's right, Thomas Grassi. If we only had a Packers fan as a member of this show, we would be fine.


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[Assistant] They're gone brissy. They're gone brissy.


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[Assistant] Alright, Georgia guy. So he's probably going to get into some legal trouble. No, I mean, Nolan Smith wasn't really that kind of dude.


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[Assistant] Yeah, that was addition by subtraction. And I, I'd still, to this day, I will defend that Christian Kirk deal. Like, he played to at least, you know, 90% of what he, I think they overpaid, like, a little bit, but he, he gave them value for that contract, unlike Kenny's holiday.


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[Assistant] I mean, TCU did get all the way to the Natty, right, or the, the playoff, so.


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[Assistant] 100%, whoever the best wide receiver is on the board. Who's the tallest out of these wide receivers?


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[Assistant] Okay, they need a six foot four wide receiver or above. Who's this? Josh Downes. How tall is he? How tall?


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[Assistant] That sounds like a Jerry Jones pick. That is the most. I can see Jerry saying, man, we gotta replace Elliott, man. Gotta get, I gotta move on. I mean, Tony Collard is coming back from injury. It does make a little sense.


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[Assistant] They don't have enough capital. They have to trade Trey Lance. Or, uh, Jordan R. Sorry. Those two are synonymous.


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[Assistant] This is, this is the lock of all the, this is not a mock draft, this is a lock draft. All these picks are locked.


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[Assistant] I don't see why you wouldn't. It just makes such logical sense. That's such a cowboy's thing to do.


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[Assistant] Ooh, you're buying one of those, uh, uh, I clocked $33.98.


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[Assistant] Uh, Scooter name some G.I. Joe character. G.I. Joe.


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[Assistant] I just dropped a history of baseball, I guess. It was very fun to make. It's probably not going to do all that well views-wise, but I had a lot of fun. I'm going to do that for football. And I had a great time doing it. So I don't really care. Yes. It's about as fun.


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[Assistant] Isn't this our 100th episode? I think it was like, that was a while ago. Oh, that was last week.


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[Assistant] Quick question, is the mayo and coffee actually true, or is that just a rumor?