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[Assistant] The rams just did it. Oh yeah, the rams did.


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[Assistant] Well that's kind of like an interesting approach too when you think about it, like,


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[Assistant] If you're going to leave yourself room mid-season to add pieces that you know you need then as opposed to before the season, like who you are as a team changes, uh, from now to actually after like a month of playing football. So that's kind of one of the smarter things that the Rams did last year is like, Hey, we've got these two areas of need. Let's address it.


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[Assistant] And they, they hit there and they, they turn, they get a ton of.


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[Assistant] And that's kind of what people forget about with the Rams is they're turning a lot of these moves into, you know, third, fourth and fifth round picks that they've


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[Assistant] You know, they used to grab guys that they play because they don't really have any other choice, but they're getting picks from some of this stuff. Just not first rounders and they're leveraging first and second rounders.


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[Assistant] Yeah, nothing tonight. Uh, probably some sort of Deshaun Watson thing tomorrow. It'll be...


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[Assistant] Do we hit the thing? That's domestic abuse.


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[Assistant] That's, uh, uh, your holy deity, the tree.


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[Assistant] That was Mark Davis' hire. He brought it back to bring back the glory days of his dad. You know, John Gruden is a revered coach. You need to bring him back at that old good old Raider football back even though


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[Assistant] Oh yeaah, of course, uh, we know we, uh, talked about last year, the Steelers, uh, we will not mention that ever again. But, I don't think it does because it's about late season momentum. The Giants were terrible in 07, they won a Super Bowl. The Steelers had a rough start to 05, won a Super Bowl. Uhm, couple years ago too, uhm, New England Patriots have question marks.


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[Assistant] Game momentum, win a Super Bowl. So it's not even about


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[Assistant] Well, the Steelers, what they should do is get a new quarterback, but that's never happening. What they really should do is get, uh, depth. They need depth on the defensive line with Oluwaluwalu. They'll probably need a backup linebacker. Uh, I'd say probably a new, uh, trade a cornerback as well. They're probably going to want to buy because


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[Assistant] I mean, there are, there's still three and three. They still think they can make a push. And I mean, so be it. Maybe a wide receiver.


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[Assistant] Because Juju's out, they don't really trust James Washington. They might actually trade him off to somebody for like a fifth or something like that.


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[Assistant] But I think they might do probably more buying than sewing. That would be my thinking.


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[Assistant] My question is like, why would Mike Tomlin leave near unlimited job security and why would he have to deal with the BS of recruiting?


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[Assistant] That's what I would say. No, you gotta travel and deal with the stress of building relationships. I mean, with a Tomlin, I mean, it was just thrown out there randomly. It's like, oh yeah, Mike Tomlin.


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[Assistant] Game one, Braves do pretty well. They get out to a 5-0 lead early. They win pretty easily. I think it was 6-1 if I remember correctly.


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[Assistant] Game two, exact opposite happens. Astros hit out early. I think they have a relatively stronger lead. Hold surf. It's a 7-2 victory for Houston. Uh, games head to Atlanta starting on Friday. I think Friday, Saturday or Sunday, Monday. I think those are the two.


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[Assistant] I say Arizona too, I'm sorry, uh, Mr. Tom Grassi, but you're going to suffer through the immaculate wrath of drowned cheese.


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[Assistant] All we get is Deshaun Watson apparently almost being traded to the Miami Dolphins and nothing happening there.


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[Assistant] Yeah, uh, Sean Watson has approved a trade to Miami if they can mark out a deal.


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[Assistant] Carolina's pulled out. Tua's been rumored to Houston or Denver. That's got pulled out. A Washington football team apparently is now in form. What do you guys think about giving up on Tua Dunga by Lois so quickly? Scooter, do you think Tua should be giving another chance or are they screwed?


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[Assistant] Steve Young, Steve Young was terrible trash in Tampa Bay.


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[Assistant] I like bending over, don't you, you kinky bitch? I like bending over. What? Sorry.


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[Assistant] He was like the uh, the guy who was rehab assignment in the minor leagues and we are just the jobbers that are in like 210, he's hitting like 300 before he gets called back on the show.


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[Assistant] Scooter died so swear words could live.


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[Assistant] It doesn't have the kind of fall that Brandon has.


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[Assistant] But I do have some good news for you. The football season's kicked off and teams are celebrating their first wins. More importantly, me and this guy up here who fluked our way to two wins. These guys over there, pure losers.


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[Assistant] Yes, you are switching conferences. You're still losing in Lambeau, by the way. That's how you always do. And that's what happens. Whether your team won or lost, Week 1's DraftKings Sportsbook, an official sports betting partner of the NFL is giving you a shot at the easy dub. Put dubs in the jackets. New customers. What you have to do. Five dollars. Like five. This guy up here.


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[Assistant] $5 in an NFL wager, you'll get $200 in free bets instantly. $200 for five.


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[Assistant] I would trade five for 200 bucks right away. That's all I'm gonna say. And not, not mentioning the same gay parlays as well. Combine multiple bets from the same game to give your shot a chance at even bigger winnings all season long. And...


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[Assistant] If you're a state that doesn't allow sports gambling yet, you should really get on that. By the way, it's a lot of, uh, buku bucks for you guys. DraftKings Daily Fantasy, where they've been innovating even more ways to win cash this season. And they've been around for a while. Easy way to withdraw your money. I've done it a couple times.


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[Assistant] Well, uh, I don't know how you really explain that sort of game. The game was on a drug cocktail of about 17 different uppers, 12 downers.


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[Assistant] Probably some Quaaludes thrown in there for good measure, pass them out over overtime, and then just up it with a combination of steroids and Toridol. Just a total mindfuck of a game, especially come overtime.


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[Assistant] Five turnovers, seven sacks with a Steelers defense. Our offense is Puke.


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[Assistant] Because our scheming and play calling is terrible. Matt Canada, you suck by the way.


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[Assistant] I loved you at Pitt, but you're not an NFL coordinator, but what do I know about that? Bengals eventually come back because you can't really hold down the Bengals offense. I expected them to lose at the game winning touchdown by Jamar Chase or so we thought.


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[Assistant] Extra point was blocked because the Bengals have a backup long snapper. Minka Fitzpatrick with like the littlest of fingers and like the ball just like.


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[Assistant] Just like that. And I feel like everything's separated and then just pants were shat throughout up and down the Ohio River. I feel like everyone in the Mississippi is now flooded. And that's why you're having those water issues in Jackson, Mississippi, because of all the shit that happened at Paycore Stadium. So what ends up happening in overtime?


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[Assistant] Missed field goal, give me 29 yard shot because the long snapper botched the snap and the laces were in.


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[Assistant] The taco bell ding, because it's like curving one way and then it just bogs in there. Uh, a recreation of the holy roller rule, by the way, which is why since he got knocked out of field of range.


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[Assistant] Steelers win with zero seconds left, and I'm just sitting there, uh, weirdly, like, what, what is, what is happening? And I do not know what is happening, and, uh,


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[Assistant] Uh, all I'm gonna say is Patriot Steelers, their offenses are gonna make Iowa, South Dakota State look like an offensive shootout. It's gonna be bad. Yeah.


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[Assistant] No, they're going to be plenty of sick kids in attendance. I mean, yeaah. Those, those offenses are radioactive and they're going to make people sick.


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[Assistant] And the sad part is, to be completely honest with you,


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[Assistant] I miss the extremely cynical bitter five points because you need to keep this man down if he becomes arrogant. It's gonna get bad.


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[Assistant] Oh, I don't think Dak needs to rub out a batch. He's got, uh, yogurt to do that.


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[Assistant] Alright, Tree, pick a team. I mean, we gotta go with the New York J-E-T-S Jets. Jets suck, suck, suck. They're starting Joe Flacco at quarterback, and there is no hope whatsoever.


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[Assistant] Start Mike White already, you goddamn cowards. I should have kept Streveler.


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[Assistant] Chris Traveller has more man energy than Joe Placco has in his entire book.


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[Assistant] Yes, he did and then he got injured in the first quarter because Miles Garrett happened.


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[Assistant] I know those accusations of them using stuff in yoga mats. You know what? I'll eat yoga mats. Who gives a shit? I'll eat the shit.


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[Assistant] Oh yeaah, don't worry. We're going 30 more minutes. That's the reason why we missed Scooter 2. He was the one who kept us on track. I know. It's so bad.


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[Assistant] But we gotta go with one piece, the New England Patriots. The New England Patriots led by offensive coordinator slash offensive geniuses Matt Patricia, he up the pencil in the forehead, and he bitching about people's posture in interviews, and


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[Assistant] Their offense looked like puke against Miami. Mac Jones has regressed big time. That offense has no traction whatsoever, which is once again why they're playing the Steelers and is going to be an affront to football. It's going to set it back 100 years. The Patriots, I know it's hard to say this, but they are screwed.


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[Assistant] Here's the thing you have to understand though, uh, Mr. Brandon. What do you call a team that loses to a bad football team?


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[Assistant] Well, my next candidate, I'm gonna do two because I'm a lottery winner as well. I'm gonna go with the Minnesota Vikings and the New Orleans Saints. Both teams, strong victories. Minnesota crushed this guy down here, like I said.


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[Assistant] Firing Mike Zimmer, best move of the offseason. And New Orleans, they allowed Atlanta to Atlanta yet again.


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[Assistant] So for that same reason, they are both not screwed. Just yet.


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[Assistant] Well, I mean, because you did it, I wanted to, I felt jealous, so I'm sorry. Okay, fine, fine.


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[Assistant] Why Scooter quit? No, no, why Scooter quit was because he didn't have his coffee brand. We should have had the grown man blend.


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[Assistant] Well guess what, what I'm gonna do, I'm gonna form my own Tearmaker, just like the AFL does out of jealousy, and then we're gonna force you to merge about 10 years later. How's that sound?


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[Assistant] That's what Brandon does, we change the rules.


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[Assistant] Triath? Yeah, I thought five was next, but I never mind. I will go next then. Let's go with a certain team that Tom Grassi likes, the Green Bay Packers. Are we saving those for last?


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[Assistant] Yes, gotta go with the power move. They had a really bad first week, but so far it's too early to tell. I think they're not screwed.


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[Assistant] I think that was just a fluke. Green Bay always gets their ass kicked.


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[Assistant] But I think they take care of business. Green Bay owns Chicago.


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[Assistant] Like Aaron Rodgers has like a stake of property in Arlington Heights, where the Bears are going to be building their future state.


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[Assistant] Like if Lowie Lightfoot gets her dome, the face that's gonna be on it is Aaron Rodgers doing his pose.


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[Assistant] I have a scorching hot take for every single person in the audience. Are you ready to hear this, boys? Are you ready to hear this? I'm ready. And the three girls watching at home, the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, not screwed. Not screwed. Scorch your take.


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[Assistant] My logic is, uh, they beat the everlasting shit of the Dallas Cowboys and Tom Brady's still Tom Brady.


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[Assistant] Sit the fuck down. Your team lost to the fucking Seahawks.


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[Assistant] You know what? If you want to roll that way and say we're screwed, because I put your friends on, I could have put them in screwed. I could have put them in screwed. I could have put you in screwed, Brandon.


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[Assistant] Najee is apparently playing. So, I would say Great is probably your, uh, linebacker, so. If what?


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[Assistant] Oh. Yeah, you did that on purpose, Spocker. No, I'm just going with that.


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[Assistant] My candidate, uhm, I'm still a little salty about Brandon over here, but I'm gonna go with the Tennessee Titans who had a completely embarrassing performance.


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[Assistant] Against the New York Giants, a game they should have easily won.


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[Assistant] If they put the ball in Derrick Henry's fucking hands instead of doing a fucking jet sweep with their backup tight end on a third and one. But I'll give the Giants credit.


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[Assistant] They deserve to win. The Titans deserve to lose. Right now, I think the AFC South is such a joke that they're not screwed just yet.


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[Assistant] And I'm saying that completely unbiased. Like, that spike should have been penalized and there were a couple calls that the refs missed.


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[Assistant] The only time I can really see Kansas City lost to San Diego was I think 2018 in that game where they went for a two point conversion at the last moment. Big Cajones by Anthony Lin, who turned out to be rough, but.


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[Assistant] The Chargers do not have the Chiefs number. I mean, at Arrowhead, I just can't see it happen. The Chiefs looked dominant. Arizona looked like shit, but the Chiefs looked strong.


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[Assistant] Defense still has some concerns, especially with some of the moving parts, but their offense hasn't really skipped a beat even without Tyreek Hill. Uhm, JC Jackson might still be out. No Keenan Allen. Yeaah.


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[Assistant] I just realized a bunch of people are saying in the chat that they beat them at Arrowhead last year.


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[Assistant] Forgot about that. I thought they beat him in 19. I remember that.


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[Assistant] I thought they, well, I thought Chief swept last year. I know they had that big OT win in LA, but I wasn't sure about like Chief's charges then.


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[Assistant] I think Ori has like, they're probably going to do some like Chimkin things or chicken, like what they call Chimkin and they'll have that in the background. One with the Chargers and one with the Chiefs and then they'll bite it and they'll be like, Oh, who wins? And it's going to be like, Oh, he picked the Chiefs. Yay.


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[Assistant] Build a miniature volleyball court with five million dollars. Or what you can do, take that money, do a pretend speech that you never do.


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[Assistant] The guy who did that Scooter


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[Assistant] Light a candle in his honor. He's going to Greener Pastures, also known as


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[Assistant] I got Steelers Bengal's greatest game I just released today.


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[Assistant] We have a charity stream again before Christmas, which is in two days? It does.


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[Assistant] I haven't even completed all of the holiday shopping, by the way. And in that spirit, we were gonna do a little bit of, uhm,


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[Assistant] Addressing what every NFL team would need?


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[Assistant] Uh, for this Christmas, we're going to go through every team. We might not have time to get through all of them in an hour, but we should have time to laugh about them. If you guys want to ask questions with your donations as well or in the chat, we'll try to get to those, but we'll be all raising money for the victims.


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[Assistant] I don't know about y'all, but I grew up in Alabama and tornado drills were part of the routine growing up in Alabama. You had to


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[Assistant] Organize yourselves into the hallway and the siren would go off and you'd have to like put your- they had a whole-


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[Assistant] Protocol for us, and I could just imagine how scary that is. Luckily we never got hit.


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[Assistant] Brandon, do you want to start off this wonderful Christmas haul, uh, for each team? You can, you name them in whatever order. Do you think we should do our teams like first or save ours?


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[Assistant] I think it would be more honorable, Scooter, if you actually blamed your dog that you didn't get the book on time.


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[Assistant] Yeah, you don't get an extension. I'm seeing a lot of- Actually, I'm seeing some ones. I'm seeing some ones. I think the compromise should be, Tom, you should take us and the audience through the rubric so that we know what scooter- You don't have to turn it in anyway, Scooter. I don't care. It's just whether the grade, whether you reach-


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[Assistant] A passing grade. And what was the placement if he doesn't pass?


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[Assistant] Oh yeaah. So this is, we gotta figure out what a late penalty is.


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[Assistant] I'm sorry to interrupt you during dinner time because that's the only time that the teacher could call and you knew as the kid when your parents picked up and they said yes, this is him. You were like,


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[Assistant] What the heck?! Audible! It's an audible book!


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[Assistant] Yes. As senior class president, I expect a lot out of you. Gooder.


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[Assistant] Tom, what, what does, uh, besides foot cream, what do you think the Green Bay Packers need to see underneath the tree this Christmas?


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[Assistant] Yes. Yeah, he was like that. You knew what you were getting. You knew he was a snake when you brought him in. Uhm, Brandon, what do the Denver Broncos want to see under the tree?


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[Assistant] After staying up all night and not going to sleep.


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[Assistant] And, uh, whatever assigned time, I think my parents would tell me eight in the morning was acceptable to wake them up after not going to sleep and just counting the minutes until eight a.m. I will nudge my parents awake.


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[Assistant] Glowing Tree would be a new general manager!


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[Assistant] I don't really care because that means that Dave Gettleman has been pushed off of a cliff. That means my old bike has been taken to the bike that caused me to fall and get skin rashes and things like that. That's just taken out to the dump and been


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[Assistant] Destroy. So I'll take a new GM and then after opening all the gifts like socks and the pink bunny outfit from my weird aunt who thinks I'm a 12 year old girl. I don't really care. After all of that.


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[Assistant] My dad is gonna tap me on the shoulder and say hey.


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[Assistant] Hey, we need stability, but Joe Judge isn't that, it's like Matt Patricia. Remember he got how many seasons in Detroit?


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[Assistant] I'd almost take Ryan Pace, like, I mean, or, Ryan Pace. Oh god, you poor bastard, I'm sorry. Listen, Gentleman has whiffed on almost every pick. Almost every pick.


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[Assistant] The only good move that Gettleman has made, and I will give him credit, was trading Hodel Beckham.


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[Assistant] And getting Dexter Lawrence in the, in the process afterwards. So not even trading back for the, with the bears for trading back with the bears. But I don't care. It's somebody else's pick.


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[Assistant] And we have two top 10 picks that could be traded for Russell Wilson, Tom Grosse.


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[Assistant] Good plumbing. Alright, uh, are we going to the NFC West now? Sure. I think the Cardinals would like some of those shoes with a thick platform for Kyler to just so he can see over the line.


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[Assistant] Uh, the Heimlich maneuver. Automatic Heimlich maneuver. Heimlich maneuver. Little, couple classes in that.


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[Assistant] I think Seattle, they don't want their parents to get divorced, which is Pete Carroll and Russell Wilson leaving. They're just like, Mom, Dad, stay together, please. At least for one more year until I can go off to college.


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[Assistant] Are there any more St. Browns out there in the world that can play football? They got Amon, Equiniminis. I would like to see... Equiniminis?


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[Assistant] Equinemius? Equinemius, yep. Nicodemus?


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[Assistant] Equinemius. Yes, yes. Yeah, sounds like my version, how I'm saying it sounds like a disease. You've got it.


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[Assistant] Next division. How about we go up to the AFC? Let's switch gears. Okay. Wow.


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[Assistant] Patriots need, uhm, massage.


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[Assistant] Yes. Oh, they need Tom Brady to come. No, they got Mackle Jones.


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[Assistant] Absolutely. The Patriots are like that kid that's like, don't get me anything, and then you still get them something, like another Super Bowl, and you're just like, you deserve it.


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[Assistant] Bills would like some consistency under that tree.


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[Assistant] Very problematic. And they would also like there to be no more wind.


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[Assistant] As well as to keep Josh Allen from so that he can throw.


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[Assistant] And they would also like a few stocking stuffers aka some folding tables.


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[Assistant] Not, not when, uh. Listen, here's the thing. This is what I loved about those Tuesday night games was it made it very easy to bet on those games because I won both of those and right now with


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Draft Kings is running a promo with the NBA cause they are not just the official partner with the NFL, they're official partner with the NBA.


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[Assistant] Those games Tuesday were so easy to call, like the, the rams covered. I took them at like minus 10.


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[Assistant] Minus nine, and then the Eagles started a little, made me sweat a little bit. They got down 10 points, scored 27.


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[Assistant] And, uh, clinch that as well. And the refs helped me out with the Vikings covering against the Bears. That was the most rigged game.


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[Assistant] I need to, I need to. Anyway, DraftKings.com, use the code CLICKBAIT from the link below and get in on the action tonight. There is a game tonight.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wow. Keep those donations coming, by the way.


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[Assistant] The Bengals, what do they need? They need Joe Burrow to stay upright. A letterbox.


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[Assistant] Nick Mullins showed out. He might be the guy going forward.


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[Assistant] Uh, the Titans, I know what they, we all know what they need.


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[Assistant] It's the second age. You guys are nerds.


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[Assistant] I don't know who would we let be the DM.


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[Assistant] The Texans need, uh. We never said what the Colts need.


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[Assistant] Got em! Texans, what does Texans mean?


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[Assistant] No, you know what they need- Scooter's gonna educate us on next week, a little late, because he said his dog ate it or something or- They need Trevor Lawrence.


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[Assistant] That would be a win-win for Tom Grassi, by the way. What do the Bears need? Let's go, let's get through these.


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[Assistant] Remember what happened last year? The Saints, we should all hate the Saints because they woke up the Bucks last year and I think they did it again this year.


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[Assistant] Falcons, what they need to do is get over 28 to 3, and that's not happening. It's not under the tree this year. I'm sorry, Falcons fans.


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[Assistant] Got em! Alright, uh, game tonight, 49ers, Titans. 49ers playing really good football. Titans playing really bad football.


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[Assistant] It's always interesting to hear you, um, jiggle your dice over there, buddy.


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[Assistant] I have the San Fran 49ers as well. I don't know if they're going to cover the three and a half. Very, I'm mulling over that.


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[Assistant] I wanna hear Tom rap to this.


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[Assistant] So when we started, it was at 500. So just subtract 650 from 1k is yours. Because I had 150 plus, plus the 500. So subtract 650 from 1. So 350 for you.


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[Assistant] Yeah, I think we should buy, I think what we should do is kind of like a white elephant. We should all buy him a gift of $10 and he should have to open those.


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[Assistant] Yes, it's a, it's a white elephant.


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[Assistant] Touch. You're funny. I already got him his though. It's this here. One footer up.


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[Assistant] Can we get that intro as the outro? Yes.


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[Assistant] I did notice an error right here though. Hold on. Oh yeaah. Look at that.


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[Assistant] Look at tree. They don't even show you the thing at all.


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[Assistant] But yes, my friends, Antonio Brown is back in the news. He is playing Mike Tyson's Punch Out.


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[Assistant] That's what this sounds, this looks like right now. He took a shot too. He took it right in the jaw. Like that's a Mayweather punch. I didn't even see. Do we have video?


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[Assistant] No, but I do have a thing from Bruce Arians saying, I didn't see any fighting, just a lot of pushing and shoving around. Says Antonio Brown was swatting flies. Well, Bruce Arians is starting to become a smarmy little.


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[Assistant] More information about it looks like that wasn't the only fight and nobody has footage because they can't actually film it.


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[Assistant] Just because like, training camp scuffles happen all the time.


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[Assistant] Rossi, your Packers could have prevented this. That's all I'm gonna say. They could have prevented this, but you failed.


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[Assistant] No, like, if he was literally, like, looking on someone and starting, like, pretending to take a whiz, okay, that's taunting.


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[Assistant] I would watch the show. The big dude? Oh, the dude with the, uh, the gold jacket, yea.


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[Assistant] Everyone. His cover is hating me. It prevents him from his whole hatred of all of us.


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[Assistant] The first thing they teach you as an offensive lineman is to like keep low. Tabo was just like staying up because he's not used to that tight end instinct and then he's just like get out of the way. That's pretty much.


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[Assistant] The only reason why he was even given this opportunity was because Urban Meyer knew him from Florida. It was a good way to generate some attention and pizzazz.


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[Assistant] Well, if you actually want like a de- Sorry, go ahead, man. Tree, go.


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[Assistant] I have an idea for a name. Think about it. It has a history with Washington. Washington Bullets.


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[Assistant] People are trying to save up their money for football season, absolutely makes sense.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's just being progressive. No problem there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because my foot's still killing me this week. It's just like, it's, I'm still doing cardio. It's just like I can't jog.


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[Assistant] I'm just reporting the eruption.


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[Assistant] You guys have to talk over me, we haven't even started yet. If there's something under my desk.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Welcome to Clickbait Sports. Clickbait Sports! We have assembled sports YouTuber Voltron. Here I got...


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[Assistant] Do the earthquake like every single time I move my desk. So it's not like I'm in San Francisco during a nine magnitude earthquake.


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[Assistant] So, here, there was an article this week, uh,


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[Assistant] Carolina head coach Matt Ruhl compared Dak Prescott to Peyton Manning.


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[Assistant] And Drew Brees. So in this article he says that watching them is like watching one of those two quarterbacks.


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[Assistant] I wonder, I wonder Scooter, do you have, do you have thoughts on this? What do you think of, of Matt Rule?


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[Assistant] You know what? Matt Ruhl, he's onto something here.


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[Assistant] Okay, because if you look at Dak Prescott, he has full command of this offense. What do I mean by that? What do I mean when I say that?


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[Assistant] He's checking out of place. He's seeing stuff before and he's saying, oh it's a run, let's check that. Omaha. He's not saying Omaha, he's saying stuff like Bob Ross. I know you heard it if you watched the game.


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[Assistant] This is the best I have ever seen Rain Dakota Prescott play the sport of football in my life.


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[Assistant] And I think he's, he's literally playing at a Peyton Manning-esque level. I don't know if he has the forehead real estate that Peyton Manning has to go along with that, but he's definitely playing on that. Quick question.


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[Assistant] Is Dak, okay, so Dak's getting compared to Peyton Manning. Should he be compared to Aaron Rodgers? Tom.


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[Assistant] I'm looking at Aaron Rodgers is 37 years old. Dack is 28. This man has time to catch up to Aaron Rodgers. This man has time to get his three NVPs. This man has time. And you know what? The Cowboys roster


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[Assistant] That read was about as solid as Dave Gettleman's draft picks. Alright, let's go to...


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[Assistant] We got a bunch of rookie quarterbacks in the league, and I just, I've been wanting to work this in real quick. Uh, I just want to show you how, um, Justin, or, uh, Zach Wilson's season has been.


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[Assistant] That's how it's going. That's, that's, I tweeted that out today if the jets were an actual jet and that's pretty accurate. If you ask me. Uhm, call it the graphic, Brandon. Let's go.


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[Assistant] Well, if it keeps playing with Matt and Maggie and having to be protected by 39 year old Jason Peters, you'd be better off being protected by a three day old used condom that has holes poked in it. That's what


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[Assistant] Just because, not really because of him, but because of the team around him and because of, uh, uh, Mr., uh, double doink as his head coach. Maybe he needs an extra doink. Maybe that'll give him some football intelligence. Uh, take the hint.


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[Assistant] He is, it's Justin Fields, but with a back. Dead man walking. He is circle spelled backwards. He is just put, cast him off. Like put, if there's a way to take him off the screen somehow, that dude is food out there. He is getting


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[Assistant] I'll leave his ear in. Yeah, just leave his ear in, but Zach Wilson is just, uh, he is, he's not gonna make it through the season.


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[Assistant] How does Sam Darnold feel knowing that he used to be Zach Wilson? This man is the opposite of down bad. He is up great. Wow.


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[Assistant] Dude, guess what? You put them in the laundry because those things are gonna be moldy and infected if you don't wash them properly. Just saying.


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[Assistant] Immediately take Trevor Lawrence and put him right next to Justin Fields because this man is down tremendously bad. He might, he might outlast the head coach, honestly, but not by that much.


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[Assistant] He is getting constantly pressured. He has no help. His coach is not helping him.


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[Assistant] Because it's like, I know a lot of Jags fans. And at the beginning of the season, they had hope. And now, we're week four?


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[Assistant] I don't even know if some of these people are watching games anymore. Like that's, that's where we're at.


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[Assistant] If you wanna buy this card, call me. I will give it to you for a couple bucks. You're gonna need it this year.


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[Assistant] No, it'll be in NFT with enough time. I just gotta scan it and then do make it official and make sure it's not downloadable. Put a watermark on it and then I'll be good.


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[Assistant] Alright, good section guys, excellent work.


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[Assistant] Defensive players of the month were Von Miller and Trayvon Diggs.


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[Assistant] Wanna know your thoughts on that? I guess we're gonna have to listen to Scooter's insufferability talking about Treymondex.


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[Assistant] This is the Trayvon digs. All the Cowboys fans were expecting his rookie year. Took him a little bit more time to put some things together. He's refined now. He's got a full season under his boat.


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[Assistant] Alright, I'm done listening to your bull crap, Brandon. Let's talk about, I'm gonna switch things up here. Let's talk about, so the Broncos are undefeated, right?


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[Assistant] Uh, which undefeated team is going to actually stay?


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[Assistant] Undefeated. We've got Denver, Las Vegas. Listen closely, Scooter, okay, because I don't want to have to read this again. Denver, Las Vegas, Carolina, the Los Angeles Rams, and the Arizona Cardinals are all undefeated. Who is going to remain undefeated the longest out of this group? Tom Grassi, answer.


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[Assistant] Yep, Deshawn Jackson and divorced parents.


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[Assistant] Who's, who's out of these teams is going to be remain undefeated for the longest?


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[Assistant] Ooh, well, it mostly depends on how LA and Arizona does, but I'm gonna play the heel. I'm gonna go with the Oakland Raiders! Just because!


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[Assistant] It's gonna be the Rams, right? Their defense is just tremendous. They have probably two of the best players on their defense in the NFL.


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[Assistant] And Matt Stafford is managing. He's not having to do anything like he was having to in Detroit, having to save the day.


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[Assistant] It's gonna be the Rams, uh, but here's something I take. What's the word? I'm offended by.


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[Assistant] You look at the rankings of best teams. ESPN put out a list of the top 10 teams, power rankings, top 10 teams in the league right now.


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[Assistant] Ahead of us in the power rankings. Someone make it make sense. We lost to the number two team on the list. We beat the number nine team on the list. I don't understand. Is it, do you really need that many clicks? You really need salty Cowboys fans that much?


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[Assistant] We literally almost beat Tam- we shoulda beat Tampa! We beat the Chargers!


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[Assistant] How do we move down? We literally be- Okay, I'm done. I'm done.


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[Assistant] I'm done. All I'm saying is, we beat the team, we beat the number nine team on the list. This is ridiculous. Alright, let's uh.


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[Assistant] Richard Sherman was signed by Tampa Bay. I want to weigh in on this first. Richard Sherman hasn't just lost a step. I think they were stolen from him in a duffel bag and then they were left on a bus headed to like, um, Tampa Bay because Richard Sherman looked really slow last year. He's 33.


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[Assistant] Anybody who wants to weigh in first on Richard Sherman, he's gonna help Tampa at all. Brandon.


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[Assistant] Antonio Brown was added to the active roster by Tampa. What did he come off? COVID protocol or injury protocol? How do you feel about that? Cause that's your favorite player, right? You own it. I know, right? I cannot sleep at night knowing that Antonio Brown is still a Superbowl champion and I hate every second of it.


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[Assistant] But I mean, hey, he's still doing really well and I'm obviously very, very bitter about the way he left not only Pittsburgh, but Oakland and New England. And that's also a reunion, by the way.


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[Assistant] Oh yea, oh don't forget Buffalo especially, because they would have, he would have, uh, whined out of there too. But you also have to remember, I mean,


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[Assistant] Uh, Lashawn McCoy calls it a career former bill.


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[Assistant] He'll retire as a middleman. He was, he was tough for the Giants, uh, Scooter. What, how do you feel about LaShawn McCoy in his career? Bro, LaShawn? Honestly, I feel how, how I feel about LaShawn is how I feel about DaShawn.


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[Assistant] The, Deshaun Jackson. These guys, no matter how old they were,


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[Assistant] To see him go, I'm glad he can retire with the team that he...


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[Assistant] Came up with, but uh, man, that was never a fun time going up against him.


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[Assistant] It's not a threesome if you pay for it. That's all I gotta say. That doesn't count. Alright.


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[Assistant] One last thing, uh, speaking of, for me, actually,


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[Assistant] Scooter, you brought this up with Leshawn and Deshawn Jackson. Like Deshawn Jackson for me as a Giants fan, I should hate Deshawn Jackson. I will take Deshawn Jackson on the Giants 100 days out of 100. I respect that man. What he's done. Like yeaah, he broke our hearts, he ran that ball back.


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[Assistant] You've got the AFC West. All four teams look like playoff teams. I don't know. Is it mathematically possible that four teams from one division can make it in the playoffs? I think there's three wild cards. Yeah, it is now, right? Uh, you got the NFC West. They're all winning games.


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[Assistant] Can you do this as the sock puppet though? I wanna see that.


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[Assistant] NFC West. Alright, thank you Sokko. Thank you Sok Rossi. Alright, uh, let's go with uh, Scooter. I took a real risk there because


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[Assistant] I'm horrified of your internet history, Tree. Tree? No, I'm horrified of yours, man. You're the quiet one that just does the super stuff at night.


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[Assistant] And you know what? I'm going to go ahead and second everything Tree just said.


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[Assistant] No, no, no, that was definitely, that was definitely for Dramatics. We are one of the worst divisions. Uh huh, sure. But, we are not- Tech division was really good last year. We are not the worst division, because the worst division is the AFC South. So it's not the NFC East! It is the AFC South. Let me know if you guys agree, because, bro,


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[Assistant] The Colts are garbage, and they might not win a game this whole season.


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[Assistant] And I will win my bet with Tom if that happens. Let's go Falcons.


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[Assistant] Is there any chance the Titans don't win their division? Is that even possible? Is it possible? I mean, it's still early. There is a chance.


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[Assistant] It's possible. Alright, uh, those were some money picks right there. Speaking of money...


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[Assistant] Man, you people are terrible. Thank you. Thank you. Somebody showed up. I also want to say Las Vegas, LA Chargers, the mistakes that should be in opposite directions right now, which should be LA Raiders San Diego, but we're going into SoFi Stadium. The stadium is going to be chock full of Raiders fans, so you'll want to know something.


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[Assistant] I think the charges are really good on the road. They are away. Justin Herbert is the real deal. He is the messiah. I have been proven wrong. He also put a golden shower on my face. He defecated on my face because


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[Assistant] I was wrong. I thought he was gonna be terrible, but he's not. That's why I'm picking the Chargers to win. If you're a Raiders fan, you bet for the Raiders now. You know the rules. Whenever I pick something, you pick the opposite. And once again, that's part C of DraftKings. You do that immediately after this show.


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[Assistant] Dear Father and Lord in Heaven, please allow these people to download the Tracking Sportsbook app and use the promo code CLICKBAIT. That's CLICKBAIT.


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[Assistant] And then you get a thousand dollars with your first deposit when you use the Co-Click bait. And can I get in the name of all that is gambling and money making and golden showers on the face? Can I get an Omni?


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[Assistant] Uhm, he was asked why he's not running a two quarterback system. And this, it's not really the question that's important here. It's about the media and fans asking really dumb questions.


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[Assistant] To a head coach, like, that's just a dumb question, right? Like, nobody...


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[Assistant] Why would you ask that? Because they're not set up to run two quarterbacks. My question for you guys is...


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[Assistant] Absolutely not. No one really knows what is going on. It's just some people have a better prediction rate. Brett Coleman knows. Brett Coleman.


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[Assistant] Look at the Raiders draft history. That tells you all you need to know about professionals and people and their knowledge. Look.


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[Assistant] At the end of the day, we're all just guessing and some people guess better than others based off the information they have. That's really all that's happening.


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[Assistant] I don't know, I think there has to be some level of competency. I'm just always shocked when an actual reporter like a Rachel Nichols or somebody asks just a really dumb question. I'm always shocked by that.


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[Assistant] And this goes to speak like, there's probably tons of fans who are more knowledgeable than these reporters. Tons of fans. Our fans. It's just that...


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[Assistant] How you're supposed to write sentences in the industry, but their knowledge surpasses these reporters. And if you think about it, it makes sense because a lot of these fans were just fans for the teams we like.


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[Assistant] And a lot of these reporters, they're asked to wear a lot of hats. Stephen A Smith. I don't know how this man is alive because he's over here covering MMA. I know this man is not watching MMA in his free time, like just breaking down fights.


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[Assistant] That's a perfect segue because on first take today, the headline was should Justin Fields force his way out of Chicago. So a completely manufactured hypothetical situation.


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[Assistant] Alright, so we're getting near the end of the show. Uh, let's do the Thursday night.


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[Assistant] Preview, because the schedule says so. Another fantastic barn burner. Right.


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[Assistant] Alright, uh, the Bengals are favored by a touchdown and a hook. The over-under is 46. And, uh, the money line is, um,


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[Assistant] 320 on the Bengals, so, uh, Brandon, who do you got winning tonight?


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[Assistant] It's definitely going to be the Bengals. The Jaguars are the worst team in the NFL.


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[Assistant] What are we doing in fantasy? I'm just curious.


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[Assistant] To the auto draft because I started the Washington defense and they gave me minus eight points. So if I had just forgotten about putting a defense in, I would have won.


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[Assistant] Those are hideous. Yeaah, so that yellow just looks like, it looks like the golden shower that money tree would do. Right. Those are the ugliest shoes I've ever seen. So, let's start the countdown for all of you that know the uh, the super chats add up into punishment. So guys, get your counts ready.


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[Assistant] He will do his and yearning tree is waiting till the Steelers play the Ravens to do his nails, right? Yep, that's early December. So I figure that's the best time.


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[Assistant] Someone's getting punished. Countdown, please. Uh, everyone, if you're gonna super chat, super chat now or forever hold your peace.


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[Assistant] Uh, can you guys show me where to look at the money again? Go into your studio. It's not the money tree. He's stalling! He's stalling! Go into your YouTube studio. Yes.


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[Assistant] Go into live, go into manage, right? You're in, and then go to viewer activity. So I click on today's video that's playing right now.


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[Assistant] I thought I said 200, my bad. I got excited that it was 200. I got $58.59. Thank you everyone that contributed. Ian Magorty, Ramersline, Daniel Schnell, Quinn Anderson, King Rich, and Daniel Schnell again. Thank you. I appreciate the pittance.


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[Assistant] Camera's gone. You knocked your camera, you pulled your camera out.


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[Assistant] He should have to get a Ben Rossenberger jersey, right? Go out into a field and recreate him tripping and drop that drop back where he tripped on the field. Tree should have to recreate that frame by frame.


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[Assistant] I changed it, I changed it, I changed it. Okay, I have to change it up real quick because I screwed it up. I am at 118.62. Tom, what are you at?


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[Assistant] Yes, you have to go, Tom, recreate Big Ben tripping and getting sacked by Heinz Field in a field. You have to go film it and we want to see it. You have to get a Big Ben or a Steelers jersey and then go recreate that play.


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[Assistant] Yeah, underwater! Hold on, here, let me share my screen, hold on. I'm gonna use that, I'm gonna use that from now on.


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[Assistant] Alright, here, you have to recreate this. Right here. Okay. Watch it one more time.


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[Assistant] I'll, I'll, I'll at you with this tweet right here.


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[Assistant] That's gonna be a cake walk. That's a cake walk. Alright.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Guys, uh, where do we bet? DraftKings.com. What's the code?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And also, uh, keyword of the day, also, uh, the word of the day is, uh, sirlk. Sirlk. Sirlk. C-I-R-L-C-E. Alright, cut him off. Cut him off.


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[Assistant] Oh man, what's the Twitter account? MECCAFISHMAN! MECCAFISHMAN!


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[Assistant] Basically, he made one of those for Tom. For the Groosey Poosey.


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[Assistant] And then they added me to an intro and then they added the whole clickbait crew for an intro and...


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[Assistant] I thought that was, I thought that was GPS. They all run together to me.


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[Assistant] Scooter will be naked after I get done talking. DraftKings Sportsbook is giving all new players a deposit bonus of $1,000. With


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Your first deposit when you use code CLICKBAIT. C-L-I-C-K-B-A-I-T. Jeff Clickbait. Jeff Clickbait.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, and if you're gonna do some sports betting, you're gonna...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] More than 10x your money like I did last week.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do it with drafting sportsbook and learn how to master the parlays. I am working diligently on my next four parlay bet. I was going to do it on, on some of the games tonight. I was going to take Dak on the over. I was going to take Taysom Hill on the passing under because


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[Assistant] I mean, that's kind of a stretch regardless. And then he's got the plantar fasciitis in his foot. It's a partial tear. It's painful. I just don't trust him to hit the over.


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[Assistant] It's really hard to figure those out sometimes. Anyway, DraftKings Sportsbook, download it, link below, code clickbait. If you don't use code clickbait, then you're missing out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You kidding? That's stupid, actually. Think about this, Adrian Peterson. If you hashtag your own name, you're just hashtagging ad and nobody's gonna see your tweet because...


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[Assistant] Tom Grassi bought a special tape measure that isn't made of full inches.


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[Assistant] What does this mean though? Antonio Brown burned his feet off in a cryo chamber.


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[Assistant] And then get suspended for fake vax card today.


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[Assistant] Which is Aaron Rodgers birthday, who just this last week showed everybody his feet, the most famous football feet we've seen since Antonio Brown.


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[Assistant] Yes, sorry. Howie Long should have named one of his kids.


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[Assistant] Richard Long. Richard Long for sure. He missed a huge opportunity there. And then, in high school, we had a corner, a corner of three male teachers.


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[Assistant] And their names were Harder, Whacker, and Wood.


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[Assistant] So you had Mr. Harder, Mr. Whacker, Mr. Wood, and they were all in the same corner of the high school.


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[Assistant] And, uh, now that, now that we have got through all the possible dick names, I felt like it was a good time to, to relive my glory days. Glory days!


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[Assistant] I know what we do. We create a second football playoff.


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[Assistant] Yep, and Lincoln Riley, he's taking the USC job.


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[Assistant] Versus Brian Kelly coaching LSU next week.


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[Assistant] Yeah, I'm sorry, Brandon. You know, if I were a college head coach...


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[Assistant] I would brag about how much money I was making. So hard to my players. Every time they screwed up, I'd be like, how much money do you get to be out here?


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[Assistant] Zero dollars? I just made a million dollars for showing up today, you dumb idiot. Yo, throw the football to the correct player.


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[Assistant] He owns you. On my birthday, guys.


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[Assistant] This, this, whatever this Sportico thing is, that's all old news. It's a family civil war there for a while. I mean, this is popping up in my feed, and if you click on it,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How often do you see it where it's just four tweets all from the same company and nobody's really engaging with it? A couple of times.


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[Assistant] Uh, if you want to follow up with the source,


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[Assistant] I actually kind of know sometimes my friend Ben Albright says the Broncos are not currently for sale and any future ownership transactions would be discussed and dealt with after the season.


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[Assistant] Eh, as predictable as a Broncos loss unse- aw, small baller.


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[Assistant] You're lucky I can't read, small baller. It took me a lot of tries to get through that sentence. Uhm, I think it's like a 50-50 chance whether or not the broncos get sold, but there's no difference.


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[Assistant] I thought Russell Wilson already owns the-


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[Assistant] Dish is a dumb company, so I would not want that to...


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[Assistant] Do you think the Packers should be allowed to play in the Super Bowl if they lose the NFC Championship since they are undefeated after losing games under Matt LaFleur?


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[Assistant] Well he did sign a two year deal with him, so he could be with him, just based on that contract.


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[Assistant] Uhm, well, I'm pretty athletic so there's a lot of things to try to think about here.


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[Assistant] Won some skateboarding competitions, uh, was really good at football, threw a touchdown, caught a receiving touchdown in the same play. I did it to myself. But probably the most athletic thing I ever did


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Was at my very first karate practice. I peed in my pants because I thought my cup that I was wearing was going to hold the pee inside of it and I was too scared to ask the instructor where the bathroom was.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then I sat in a- I stood in a puddle of pee and just kept kicking that piss everywhere.


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[Assistant] They don't have Alvin Kamara. I don't think they have Ryan, Ryan Ramshack.


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[Assistant] Don't be any Ryan Rams checks cashed in this game. And Taysom Hill, starting.


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[Assistant] Okay. Kaysom comes out. Trevor is totally serviceable. He will lead the Saints back into the game and still lose for you, Scooter, so.


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[Assistant] I got a hundred and fifty-five dollars ladies and gentlemen. Thank you so much.


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[Assistant] You wanna talk about sizes?


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[Assistant] And I demand during the course of the episode you eat one entire French baguette. I second. I second that. I agree.


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[Assistant] I'm glad you asked, Scooter, cause I am going to drop a very special Antonio Brown video tonight to roast this mother licker, uh, also.


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[Assistant] I curse the broncos on my power rankings episode. We are a thousand likes away from getting to 10,000 and 10,000 likes is the only thing that can save the broncos from being cursed by my spin wheel curse of pain.


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[Assistant] With myself and four other YouTubers where every week, Thursday, 5pm Eastern, we come together and we talk about football related content. Joining me!


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[Assistant] We have the Pittsburgh Steelers fan, UrinatingTree. Welcome brother. What's up? How you guys doing?


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[Assistant] We also have Brandon Perna. He's representing the Denver Broncos. Brandon Perna of That's Good Sports. Brandon, welcome in.


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[Assistant] We also have the Green Bay Packers fan. Okay, he's still telling me from day to day, Dez did not catch it. Ladies and gentlemen.


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[Assistant] The founder of communism, Tom Grassi. Welcome. How are you doing, brethren?


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[Assistant] We're gonna leave that for another time. And finally, but not least, we have the Giants fan.


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[Assistant] Five points vids. Five! Good to see you. Good to see you.


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[Assistant] We actually do have a sponsor now for the very first time. I'm gonna throw it over to Five Points to tell us a little bit more about the sponsor, but can we get some W's in the chat? We're sponsored now, boys. W's in the chat, please. I'm actually surprised we're literally sponsored now. Somebody was sponsored?


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[Assistant] The, the viewers donate to us for whatever reason and whoever ends up with the most amount of money is actually the loser. Loser.


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[Assistant] The loser then has to do a challenge that we all come up with and let's sell, let's tell you guys some of the challenges that will be coming out because these guys lost by winning the most amount of money. Five, what are you, what are you gonna be doing here?


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[Assistant] So we're gonna actually get into our first segment of this stream. We're gonna start actually with UrinatingTree who's gonna take us through, maybe you guys have heard of this, uh, this high school called Bishop Sycamore?


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[Assistant] For people who have no idea who Bishop Sycamore is, can you just explain the situation for them? Because there are some people watching right now who have no idea what Bishop Sycamore is or anything.


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[Assistant] How does something like this happen? How does Bishop Sycamore end up on national television playing IMG Academy in Florida?


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[Assistant] I'm just most excited honestly for the memes to continue because I feel like this story has some legs. I feel like next week we might find out even more information coming out.


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[Assistant] URINATING TREE HAS A GREAT VIDEO UP RIGHT NOW THAT YOU CAN GO WATCH YOUTUBE.COM SLASH URINATING TREE. BUT WE'RE GONNA KEEP THIS THING MOVING.


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[Assistant] Uh, yeaah, we're gonna keep this thing moving though, and we're actually, three of us actually met up IRL for the first time in person. Five points.


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[Assistant] Can you, actually, I need to, I need to pay tree for that meal that he bought for me, but five points, take us through, uh, what was that like meeting us or meeting me in person?


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[Assistant] Oh, bro, it was crazy. I've never been to this place. I never even knew about it. I just went with Twitter. They said


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[Assistant] Yeah, I had to, hey listen, I told you, I didn't have, my card was eaten by a dog, but I got you, I got you. Wait.


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[Assistant] But talk about more of the race. Cause I didn't know, like I've never even really heard of this race. Talk me through, like how did this race go? What type of access were you given? What went down during this NASCAR race?


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[Assistant] I went to a race. I did a sponsor campaign. If you haven't gone to NASCAR, try it out. It's way different. Get the ear sets too. Ear sets are crucial. You need the people telling you what's happening.


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[Assistant] Guys, if you haven't gone to NASCAR event, I did a campaign with NASCAR, definitely try it out once.


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[Assistant] The time has come, uh, for whatever reason, let's talk about the Packers, and let's do-


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[Assistant] Let's do a little preview because apparently, your game's been moved. Tell me more.


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[Assistant] My thing is, my thing is this. How do you know they chose Jacksonville for ill will? What makes you think that?


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[Assistant] And here's another question for everyone here, chat included.


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[Assistant] What's the difference between this and having a London game? I honestly feel like a London game is like punishment. A London game like takes you out of your element so much, especially during a season to fly internationally and then turn around and only have a week to, bro that's a lot. What are we thinking?


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[Assistant] What about this guy? What's the game of the week that is not Cowboys Buccaneers? Cause we already know that's gonna be the marquee game. What other marquee games?


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[Assistant] Jacob Eason is gonna be the cult's day one starter. I think that is wild. Wow.


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[Assistant] What if he does well in Carson and they have a quarterback problem? I would love to see that happen actually. That would be very interesting. I love the drama. Do we just go buy these one by one?


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[Assistant] Honestly, I need the chargers to win. I need the chargers to win that.


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[Assistant] Will Deshaun Watson end the season on the Texans? I'm gonna put that up on a tweet right now. Will Deshaun Watson end the season on the Texans? Let us know, Chad.


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[Assistant] Bro, I'm thinking Kyle Pitts has his first 100 yard game in his first game.


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[Assistant] I mean they won with Nick Foles, so anything is possible. Anything is possible.


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[Assistant] If you're watching right now, wherever you are, put a W in the comments right now.


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[Assistant] Here's the thing about Washington. Their defense. Their defense is not bad. They scare me a little bit.


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[Assistant] I think they're gonna be the football team. Honestly, I think they're stuck with it. Too many people like it, and that's what they're just gonna have to roll with. I think it's just blame.


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[Assistant] Basically, if you're downloading or using DraftKings, use the code CLICKPATEPEOPLE. It's gonna get you some money.


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[Assistant] Also, he won't refund you, but blame him. Also guys, remember...


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[Assistant] Everything if you can afford to lose. No. Be smart. Gamble responsibly, kids.


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[Assistant] Alright, I got him. Fangles. Wordplanes? Fangles.


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[Assistant] I just want to see Joe Burrow like not die. Like if Joe Burrow can have like some time to not die and throw the ball, I just want to see him have a good game. Just one like, just, just one good game. Just one.


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[Assistant] Okay, we're going to have to pick the pace up a little bit here if we're going to get through all of these.


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[Assistant] I hope Donald destroys them. Light them up, Samuel. I got the Panthers. I got the Panthers.


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[Assistant] I got the Panthers. The Jets, uh, they need prayer. They need a lot.


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[Assistant] Uhm, Jack Wilson might surprise some people though. He might end up being...


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[Assistant] Some people are saying, Zach Wilson, Dark Horse Rookie of the Year. Not me!


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[Assistant] You know, there's been a lot of talk about Baker Mayfield in this offseason. A lot of talk. People are wondering why he hasn't been extended. They're saying things like he has the top five placement, QB placement in the league. And it's crazy because before this,


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[Assistant] So if you were the GM right now, are you signing Baker Mayfield, the Browns, QB of the future, are you sticking with him?


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[Assistant] He does not need any more commercials. He has enough.


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[Assistant] Jen, let us know, is Baker Mayfield a top 10 QB? I can see the argument for top 15, top 10.


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[Assistant] Okay, we have about 13 minutes remaining.


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[Assistant] Did Cam Newton's vaccination status have anything to do with why he was cut?


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[Assistant] Yeah, I just think maybe 5%, 10%, but the overwhelming majority is the fact that he just is not resembling of himself.


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[Assistant] YouTube, Facebook, Twitter, I don't know how many people are watching, but listen. I. Bet.


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[Assistant] That the Dallas Cowboys will go 15-2 or better this season. 15-2 or better. Was this a mistake? Let me know in the chat right now.


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[Assistant] We will be skipping my segment. I was going to talk about the Jake Paul fight, but we just have run out of time. I'll just summarize that by saying Jake Paul, colon, great marketer.


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[Assistant] Would you guys fight a boxer for a guaranteed one to two million dollar purse? But Jake Paul's not a boxer. Would you fight?


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[Assistant] Not even one boxing match you get hit more than most people in their entire life. So are we going to start the countdown? So basically guys right now what's going to happen is we're going to start a countdown.


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[Assistant] Once you, if you donate after this countdown, it will not count towards today's totals. Whoever has the most money is the loser and we're gonna come up with a punishment. Start the countdown right now.


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[Assistant] I'm not streaming on YouTube ever. What is this? Hey, welcome to the club buddy.


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[Assistant] Okay, so what you're saying is bet on the Buccaneers to beat the Cowboys.


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[Assistant] So, and then if the bucks win, I then have to take that money and donate that to a charity. Correct.


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[Assistant] On the Cowboys, that we win against the Bucks.


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[Assistant] Yes, on college game day, he walked onto the college game day bus, he looked at me and he said, Scooter!


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[Assistant] Make Scooterpie an Aaron Rodgers jersey and read a Father's Day poem.


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[Assistant] To the Cowboy's Daddy, Aaron Rodgers?


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[Assistant] Okay, so just to reiterate, I'm buying an Aaron Rodgers jersey. Yes. And writing a poem. Father's Day poem.


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[Assistant] Uhm, guys, that's gonna do it for this clickbait episode. Join us next week, Thursday, 5 o'clock Eastern for a poem. I'm scared.


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[Assistant] This has been Clickbait. Oh wait, before we end though, let's go around and say what everyone's working on. What video is coming out next on your channel? For me, we got a video dropping every day until the season starts. I think we got an AFC East or AFC South. I'm not sure. AFC East I think is coming out today. Divisional video. Brandon, what's going, what's dropping on that good sports?


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[Assistant] Tom, what is getting dropped on youtube.com slash tomgrassycomedy.


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[Assistant] Absolutely. Be sure to check that out. And next week we actually will be doing a fantasy football draft. Be sure to join that because we're thinking of including the chat as potentially a team. So you're definitely going to want to come back next week. Five o'clock. Five points.


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[Assistant] And then finally, Tree, anything coming out on the channel?


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[Assistant] Nice. Guys, this has been another episode of clickbait sports. We'll see you guys back next Thursday for the fantasy draft episode and the preview of the Cowboys game next Thursday, five o'clock Eastern.


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[Assistant] We got Devondre Campbell. You know how happy I am about that? Like, we got him for 10 million dollars a year. He was an all-pro last year. I'm good. I'm so good. So you're good, but does this move make sense for the Rams?


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[Assistant] I mean, does it make sense for them? Sure. I mean, there's, there's shoring up. I mean, Corey Littleton was great, um, with the Rams and then didn't really do so well. Happy birthday, Trevor.


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[Assistant] The Raiders, but, uh, yeaah, no, I think it's a, uh, I think it's a solid move. They're just throwing a lot of money at him, but I had to imagine that there's like void years or like he's not going to actually play out the rest of that contract, so.


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[Assistant] Well, I think it depends on what type of team you are and the foundation that you lay before you're able to make these moves because like,


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[Assistant] Alright, look at the Jaguars. They signed a whole bunch of names, but they don't have the foundation. So like you could say, are they going all in to win? Sure, they are because they signed everyone readily available that they possibly could. And so like they're doing basically the same thing. The issue is, and we all know, is that they don't have the foundation. It'd be like if the Jets did it or the Giants did it or like the Texans did it.


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[Assistant] So I think in terms of like the rams, they have the foundation there.


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[Assistant] They got rid of, you know, they're, they're moving some pieces around, you know, trading guys to the Titans, but they're bringing in fricking, uh, Alan Robinson, which I think is a great move for them to do. They're basically replacing some pieces, but I think, you know, you get a Bobby Wagner there. He's a good inside linebacker. Like I said before, Corey Littleton, like was their guy in the back when Joe Barry was still on their team, but.


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[Assistant] I think it's, they have the foundation. So they're like, all right, if we can get a little bit more star power, sure.


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[Assistant] And why not? I mean, I think they're already going to be competitive for a Super Bowl, given how weak the NFC is and also how they performed last year.


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[Assistant] I gotta be honest like, they have the team and the depth and the talent, especially if they bring OBJ back.


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[Assistant] I think that they are an automatic playoff team, just given the division that you're in, but I think your head coach is a joke.


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[Assistant] I think you got worse in the off season. I don't think you got better as a team. I think depending on how Zeke is going to be, I mean, you're stuck with that bloated contract and Pollard is obviously has been the hot hand. So I think it just, at this point you have like some good defensive players. I think Micah Parsons is incredible. It's just going to be a matter of you have the.


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[Assistant] I mean, I feel like you could go and you would get rocked by the bills.


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[Assistant] There's one real reason why the Cowboys are not gonna win, and it's because you phoned it in on this.


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[Assistant] Well, I mean, like in 2016, I mean, I, I reached out and that was my first interview with him. So I've just been maintaining that relationship ever since and I'm flying to Green Bay this weekend to do other things too. So other content needs to be made. So, uh.


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[Assistant] Listen, I'm just saying I could, I could beat him in route running. That's all I'm gonna prove. That's all I'm gonna prove.


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[Assistant] I mean, he played on the, the, when they were the Redskins, so I'm pretty sure he doesn't like the Cowboys.


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[Assistant] He's originally from Buffalo, but he played, cause I think I've told this story, the first interview I did with him was like a 90 minute interview and back in the day, uhm,


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[Assistant] They didn't have cell phones. And so what happened was Washington flew him out.


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[Assistant] No, because Washington literally like had him do a tour of like DC and stuff and like they kept him away from his phone.


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[Assistant] Well again, this is just Jordan loves third year. So at the end of this year, that's when decisions need to be made because they have to select if they're going to.


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[Assistant] I'm gonna ask that in a way of basically what are we doing with Jordan Love. Yeah, if there's like a game plan for like his long term future.


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[Assistant] He's probably not, I mean, the thing is too that that more falls with Goody, like that's not really him. So that's the issue too. Cause like Goody's going to be hand like handling the personnel and stuff. But I think it's, it's going to be a question in terms of, you know, what is the plan for QB? Is it like to hold on to Jordan Love and I'll just kind of see what I get.


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[Assistant] Right now, I'm pretty sure that they are tearing up, um, one of the lots for, uh, in Green Bay, like one of the parking lots. I think they're making like a garage for the players, so it's like easy for them to get out with like traffic and stuff, but I know that they wanted to make like new video boards and kind of just do some updates. So yeah, just kind of like, all right, this was your goal. You didn't make it. So where are you?


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[Assistant] Where are you gonna get the rest of the money from?


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[Assistant] So Titletown now is its own complex, it has like hotels, it has like breweries, it has its own football field that's open to the public, it has like apartments and everything if you wanted to live across from Lambeau Field. So they've kind of made it a little bit more of like a destination, uhm, and I'm sure as like time goes on they'll expand, you know, as they...


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[Assistant] Yeah, uhm, I'm sure that they'll update as things get bigger because one of the things I want to ask him is because we didn't get the draft. And this has been Mark Murphy's dream ever since I knew him about getting the draft. So.


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[Assistant] That one as well. Again, a lot of it's gonna be Gooty, like a lot of like the individual player questions are gonna be for like the GM, but, I mean.


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[Assistant] I-I would never go to Lambo and watch it in a suite, ever.


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[Assistant] I think by the start of the season, you'll have an idea of what they're going to do. I don't think he starts the season.


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[Assistant] Sit behind someone for a year and then everyone's like, oh man, I bet they're good. And then we're going to find out.


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[Assistant] 48 year old Terrell Owens, uh, agreed to join the fan controlled football league and he's likely to pay for the zappers. His QB would be Johnny Manziel.


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[Assistant] Uh, Brian, d- do I say a dable, d-bowl, d-bows, d-bowl?


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[Assistant] I would love to see you painted green and doing Shrek. That would be- Draw the unibrow. Dress up as a tiger and say giddy ghost meow. Giddy ghost meow.


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[Assistant] If you lose a bet, you gotta take it seriously. Okay?


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[Assistant] I am secure in my masculinity. Take your screenshots now, okay? I don't care. I'm a grown man.


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[Assistant] Do your worst, internet! Do your worst!


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[Assistant] In my life, like, where did I go wrong?


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[Assistant] Was intentional, okay? I talked to all the players on the team. They said we needed to light the fire.


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[Assistant] All part of the plan. Let's go boys. Let's go boys. Come on.


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[Assistant] Like AB's been doing this crap for a long time. And to be honest with you, I would not be surprised if AB was pulling this just because it's AB.


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[Assistant] Should they be punished in the NFL? And if so, what should that punishment be? Chat. Join in.


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[Assistant] Only if he's allowed to dropkick the Cleveland Ponner again.


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[Assistant] 43% of adults say they have financially cheated on their partner.


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[Assistant] What does that even mean? Probably lying about the earnings. Be my guess. Okay, we're off track. That's on me. I'll take responsibility.


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[Assistant] Let's say that happened. Let's say it is proven that he forged a fake card. What should be the punishment for something like that?


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[Assistant] I think he's getting suspended for probably the season. I think they're going to lay the hammer down on them. Once again, my examples of Vander Kane. He lied about his vaccination status with the NHL. They dropped the hammer on him. They suspended him for a quarter of the season. 21 games.


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[Assistant] Now you gotta make another dancing video with Sierra for punishment. Go ahead, Russ. Get outta here. Yeah, exactly. If this were like a backup tackle, he'd be insta-cut. Easily. Oh yeah. That's fair. That's fair.


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[Assistant] Yeah, because let's put it this way, everything's lining up for the Pittsburgh Steelers to go to the Super Bowl. Uh, really lucky wins, terrible offense, being gifted wins by the referees, and just everything lining up in place. It's like,


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[Assistant] Oh dude, you think you're born into playing down in a competition? Baby, I was born into it. I was molded by it. They've been playing down since the days of Cower when I was a kid. They were playing down so hard, yet nobody remembers it.


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[Assistant] What is the Pittsburgh Steelers final record this season tree?


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[Assistant] This is great because it leads us to the next talking point of who's the best team in the NFL. Is there a best team in the NFL? Brandon, what are we thinking?


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[Assistant] I feel like we're missing a team somewhere in there. I feel like we're missing a team.


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[Assistant] My question, my question to Tom is, do cowboys play the Packers NFC Championship game?


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[Assistant] Who do you have winning Green Bay or the Cowboys? Leave a comment right now. You already know where I stand on this debate.


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[Assistant] Well, there are a couple things here, you see, there's like, uh, whatever the heck this is, this meat, there's a Mancini's Prez, french fries, and tomatoes, and sweet slaw, and that's a, that's a Pittsburgher, because, uh, this is Pittsburgh delicacy, apparently, uh, people love it, it's open.


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[Assistant] It is, bruh, people love primanis. People like- Oh, they love it. Go from all around for it. It's like the mecha. I find it overrated, but it's just mech. That's why everyone wants me to eat this stuff.


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[Assistant] That's fair. I don't like shooting on camera but this is part of the punishment. That's what the people want!


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[Assistant] But if you had to make a guest tree while you're enjoying that sandwich,


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[Assistant] We will find out soon, because the Cowboys play the Chiefs this week. So that's gonna be a good test for both teams. I look good against Oakland.


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[Assistant] I own the Eagles draft pick, so I sort of want the Colts to win.


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[Assistant] I covered myself this time, I escaped it.


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[Assistant] Yeah, you know what? I can't figure that out too. Why you gotta be good two weeks ago? Huh?


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[Assistant] Why you gotta put on a show two weeks ago, and then I look at you next week? Where was that energy, Bridgewater?


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[Assistant] There's no true number one quarterback though. You can get like Matt Corral or Spencer Rattler. We want Carson Strong. Spencer Rattler?


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[Assistant] I was looking at this question through the lens of my team, so the Cowboys, which is actually very difficult because the Cowboys firing on all cylinders this season. You look at the offense.


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[Assistant] Killing it. You look at the defense. Dominating. Yes, we have two losses. Relax. We should have won one of those games.


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[Assistant] Can I answer this question unobstructed? My gosh. So, we're looking at the Cowboys. Try to be an Alliance fan, then we can talk about bad rep goals. Offense is firing, defense is firing, the biggest letdown thus far


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[Assistant] No! We got fortunate that we won some of these games because this man was making some boneheaded decisions when it came to halftime. He was making some boneheaded decisions when it came to kicking field goals. So...


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[Assistant] Yes, we're winning, but we are fortunate to be where we are because we could have, I could have already lost this bet because Mike McCarthy was wiling on occasion. And if we want to go secondary.


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[Assistant] Horizontal as teams missed. So the Titans have been getting destroyed by injury, which is pretty obvious. Yeah. Yes.


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[Assistant] They are terrible this year, excluding the game against Baltimore. Defense has been really suspect. Offense has been awful. They don't know what they're doing with Tua.


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[Assistant] Is it spam? Is this a spam? It was a potential spam. Pick it up! Yes, I, I did. I, I, I hung up. I hung up. Awww. No worries.


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[Assistant] Because the play calling was predictable too, like they never changed their game plan.


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[Assistant] I mean, all you have to do on a cover zero blitz is technically like go deep routes and just like burn them one on one. But.


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[Assistant] Cause you're in year three, I mean, you're at the point where they might not pick up his option. Dang, he's been playing that bad? Yeaah, he's been rough.


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[Assistant] It's a shame too. I love Devon Bush. I love his game. He's just, it has not panned out. Like, look at that equa, equa biqua.


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[Assistant] Uh, the run by Detroit. You see Devin Bush just like, uh, like riding up like on his upper shoulder and just like sliding off. He's made some bad penalties, like a holding call and an interception that would have changed the game. He's like been rough in coverage. He hasn't been, he's been like invisible, which is not good for a linebacker.


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[Assistant] So he's basically tackling like Teddy Bridgewater.


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[Assistant] Dude, Teddy got roasted so hard. What did you think of that? Seeing that? Did you care that he did that? Honestly, I think it was kind of smart for him to get out the way. You're the quarterback. I mean, at the end of the day, it's going to lead you by two scores. You got to at least do something.


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[Assistant] My thing is, it's like, your teammates notice stuff like that, right? Even if, uh, whatever, forget the score on the scoreboard.


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[Assistant] People notice. Okay, people are watching you when you think people are not watching you. Even as content creators, people are watching us. Even when we don't think people are watching us.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But it's just, I don't know. I definitely think it hurts him with his team, but as a business decision, the longevity playing the quarterback. He's just going to be a backup if you're holding a clipboard. Teddy would be, you know what?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I do want to say one more thing, boys. You know what the biggest disappointment to me is? Not being able to get enough money into my DraftKings account and spending that money on the glories of DraftKings Sportsbook.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, let's go over some, uh, little scores in the meantime. I haven't done this in a little bit, the old money tree thingamabobooboo. But, uh, as my everything falls, uh, to heck and back, I'm going to say, uh, my big pick of the week. It's going to be that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Maybe in a way. But in DraftKings Sportsbook, the app has a lot of stuff to offer. Same game parlays, player props, live betting, so much more. And they're giving away $200 in free bets instantly when you bet $1 or more on any football game. Like for example, hey, I want to spend a buck


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] On, uh, the Dallas Cowboys losing to the Kansas City Chiefs because they definitely are. What I'm gonna say is...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Put a dollar down, you might gain up to $200. And you know, they're the top rated sports book. They're safe, secure and reliable. Uh, I've been sponsored by them a few times as well. I can definitely tone to their, uh, their credibility as well. Good product.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The bomb, just like that, they said, you thought you were gonna get over on us this time. No, no, no!


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[Assistant] Bruce Arians has had some, uh, real health issues. He's had, I think, a stroke, a couple heart attacks, he's had cancer. So like, he's the epitome of immunocompromise.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is it a stomach bug? Because, you know, Lamar Jackson in Toilets, it's usually his best games. True, not COVID.


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[Assistant] So you know what? If it is something, I hope Detroit wins so I can laugh at Cleveland again. It's gonna be delicious.


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[Assistant] I don't know man, I'll have to check my, uh, uh, test results.


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[Assistant] Cam Newton, can we talk about that for a second?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What are we thinking? Do we like this move? Do we not like this move?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It feels like it's a ploy to get people in the seats, but you know something is probably the best option they have right now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Scooters drive out of viewership in today's episode by the way. Yeah, this was a mistake and I'm getting scared. It's that controversy, baby. Everybody loves controversy. Hey, hey, hey, hey. If you want to put yourself on like a sexy model calendar,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Relax, relax. This is a dress, so this like, my gosh. There's a lot of ones in this chat. Chill! There's a lot of ones in this chat. Chill! There's a lot of, there's some priests.


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[Assistant] Bro, I look like a fit, a fit female. Oh my god.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I saw that this morning and literally my mouth was open because I could not. It's just like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] For you to do that to anyone, let alone someone that like is the mother of your children, was like very...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Disgusting. That, that, that, and now even that word doesn't justice. It was just like, I don't know, man. Like what type of person does that?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Absolutely, and if you're in a situation right now where that's happening to you, you can get help. Okay, you don't have to go through that. You can talk to someone, you can find some people, okay? You do not have to be in a relationship where you're getting abused.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, so just my, I just hated seeing that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, uh, let's, let's look at Leveon Bell's social media page because there was a situation where he made, uh, took up every single, uh, segment of Leveon Bell. He was just cut today.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Steelers would have probably kept him for about three years. That would have been 18, 19, probably 20. So you probably have 45 million right there. So if you think about it, Leveon lost money in this deal and he's lost his reputation because he went to a team with no offensive line and then goes to Baltimore. He's not the same and cut. So he may get a job somewhere else, but at this point,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Leveon Bell's career is done and I can't feel bad for him because I mean.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If it weren't for him, we wouldn't have days of our Steelers. Let's look at Olivia on Bell's social media page. It says hashtag washed.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hashtag fell off, hashtag slow, hashtag bad rapper. That's absolutely true, by the way. Hashtag wasted talent. Very true. Hashtag clown.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A lot of people will look at this and say like, I don't feel bad for this guy, he could have had this, he could have had that, he's stupid, but...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Let's look at it from a different lens though. Let's look at it from Leveon Bell's lens. He was betting on himself and he lost. You can bet on yourself and lose, but


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just because you bet on yourself and lose doesn't mean you're a terrible person. It doesn't mean you're a terrible football player. Doesn't mean there's no hope for redemption and it doesn't mean you can't come back. So.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, I don't want Leveon Bell in this situation to be feeling, to go out and do something drastic.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because things didn't pan out how he thought they would pan out. And you know what I'm, you know what I'm saying? Like, there's still, there's still chance for redemption.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You can still get some stuff together, but in life, sometimes you fail. That's just what happened here. He failed. So. They make gambles on ourselves out of backfired. It happens. Sure. He failed cause he had a good game.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I had to, I failed because I had to dress up like a tree and eat this really bad sandwich. Oh no, it's really bad?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I have some breaking news coming in as well. No, if you're familiar, uh, Jeff Driscoll, if you're familiar with this name, he is converting to tight end. He's pulling a Tim Tebow. He is ripping himself off. He is going for the Houston Texans.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The trend for Florida quarterbacks because Jeff Driscoll went to the University of Florida, go Gators. Tim Tebow went to the University of Florida, go Gators. Felipe Franks, uh, we'll see what happens with him over at Atlanta, but I think they had already been working him some at tight end.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So it could just be, uh, Kyle Trask could be up next with the Buccaneers with the conversion. We'll see though.