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[Assistant] And having cross-examined solitude after the most approved presidents at considerable length, Mr. Pickwick thrust his head out of the lattice and looked around him.


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[Assistant] Mr. Pickwick fell into an enchanting and delicious reverie. Hello was the sound that roused him.


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[Assistant] He looked to the right, but he saw nobody. His eyes wandered to the left and pierced the prospect. He stared into the sky, but he wasn't wanted there.


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[Assistant] And then he did what a common man would have done at once, looked into the garden, and there saw Mr. Wardle.


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[Assistant] And at the expiration of that time, he was by the old gentleman's side.


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[Assistant] Hello, said Mr. Pickwick in his turn, seeing that his companion was armed with a gun and that another lay ready on the grass. What's going forward?


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[Assistant] The fat boy, who under the exciting influence of the morning did not appear to be more than three parts in a fraction asleep, emerged from the house.


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[Assistant] Go up and call the gentleman and tell him you'll find me and Mr. Pickwick in the rookery. Show the gentleman the way there. Do you hear? The boy departed to execute his commission.


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[Assistant] And the host, carrying both guns like a second Robinson Crusoe, led the way from the garden. This is the place, said the old gentleman.


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[Assistant] ...pausing after a few minutes walking in an avenue of trees. The information was unnecessary for the incessant cawing of the unconscious rooks sufficiently indicated their whereabouts.


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[Assistant] The old gentleman laid one gun on the ground and loaded the other. Here they are, said Mr. Pickwick. And as he spoke, the forms of Mr. Tuckman, Mr. Snodgrass and Mr. Winkle appeared in the distance.


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[Assistant] The fat boy, not being quite certain which gentleman he was directed to call, had with peculiar sagacity and to prevent the possibility of any mistake, called them all.


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[Assistant] And took up the spare gun with an expression of countenance which a metaphysical rook impressed with a foreboding of his approaching death by violence may be supposed to assume.


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[Assistant] It might have been keenness but it looked remarkably like misery. The old gentleman nodded.


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[Assistant] And two ragged boys who had been marshalled to the spot under the direction of the infant Lambert, forthwith commenced climbing up two of the trees.


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[Assistant] What are those lads for? Inquired Mr. Pickwick abruptly. He was rather alarmed, for he wasn't quite certain, but the distress of the agricultural interest, about which he had often heard a great deal, might have compelled the small boys attached to the soil to earn a precarious and hazardous subsistence by making marks of themselves for inexperienced sportsmen.


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[Assistant] Only to start the game, replied Mr. Wardle laughing. To what? Inquired Mr. Pickwick. Why, in plain English, to frighten the rooks. Oh, is that all? You're satisfied? Quite. Very well. Shall I begin? If you please, said Mr. Winkle, glad of any respite, stand aside then.


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[Assistant] There was a smile upon the youth's face as he advanced. Indistinct visions of rook pie floated through his imagination. He laughed as he retired with the bird. It was a plump one. Now, Mr. Winkle, said the host, reloading his own gun. Fire away. Mr. Winkle advanced and levelled his gun.


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[Assistant] Which they felt quite certain would be occasioned by the devastating battle of their friend. There was a solemn pause, a shout, a flapping of wings, a faint click. Hello, said the old gentleman. Won't it go, inquired Mr. Pickwick. Missed fire, said Mr. Winkle, who was very pale, probably from disappointment. Odd, said the old gentleman taking the gun. Never knew one of them missed before. What? I don't see anything at the cap.


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[Assistant] There was a scream of an individual, not a rook, in corporeal anguish.


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[Assistant] Mr. Tupman had saved the lives of innumerable unoffending birds by receiving a portion of the charge in his left arm. To describe the confusion that ensued would be impossible.


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[Assistant] And the conveying him back by slow degrees supported by the arms of his anxious friends. They drew near the house.


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[Assistant] The ladies were at the garden gate, waiting for their arrival and their breakfast.


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[Assistant] The spinster aunt appeared. She smiled and beckoned them to walk quicker. It was evident she knew not of the disaster.


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[Assistant] Poor thing. There are times when ignorance is bliss indeed. They approached nearer. Why? What is the matter with the little old gentleman? Said Isabella Wardle.


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[Assistant] The little party is crowded so completely round, Mr. Topman, that they could not yet clearly discern the nature of the accident.


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[Assistant] Don't be frightened, said the host. What's the matter? Screamed the ladies. Mr. Tupman is met with a little accident. That's all. The spinster aunt.


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[Assistant] uttered a piercing scream, burst into an hysteric laugh, and fell backwards in the arms of her nieces.


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[Assistant] The agitated female advanced and offered her arm. They turned into the breakfast parlor.


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[Assistant] Mr Tracy Topman gently pressed her hand to his lips and sank upon the sofa. Are you faint?


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[Assistant] Mr Tracy Tupman resumed his former position and Mr Wardle accompanied by a surgeon entered the room.


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[Assistant] And the minds of the company having been thus satisfied, they proceeded to satisfy their appetites with countenances to which an expression of cheerfulness was again restored. Mr. Pickwick alone was silent and reserved.


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[Assistant] At any other time, Mr. Winkle would have replied in the affirmative. He felt the delicacy of his situation and modestly replied, no. Now are you sir? Inquired Mr. Snodgrass.


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[Assistant] The grand match is played today, I believe, said Mr. Pickwick. It is, replied the host. Of course you'd like to see it. Aye, sir, replied Mr. Pickwick, am delighted to view any spots which may be safely indulged in, and in which the impotent effects of unskillful people do not endanger human life.


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[Assistant] Mr. Pickwick paused and looked steadily on Mr. Winkle, who quailed beneath his leader's searching glance


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[Assistant] Shall we be justified in leaving our wounded friend to the care of the ladies? You cannot leave me in better hands, said Mr. Topman. Quite impossible, said Mr. Snodgrass.


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[Assistant] It was therefore settled that Mr. Topman should be left at home in charge of the females and that the remainder of the guests, under the guidance of Mr. Wardle, should proceed to the spot where was to be held that trial of skill which had roused all Muggleton from its torpor and inoculated Dingledale with a fever of excitement. As their walk


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[Assistant] Which was not about two miles long, lay through shady lanes and sequestered footpaths,


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[Assistant] Mr. Pickwick was almost inclined to regret the expedition they had used when he found himself in the main street on the town of Muggleton.


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[Assistant] Everybody who's genius has a topographical bent knows perfectly well that Muggleton is a corporate town with a mayor, purges, and freemen.


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[Assistant] That Muggleton is an ancient and loyal barter mingling zealous advocacy of Christian principles with a devoted attachment to commercial rights.


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[Assistant] ...in demonstration whereof the mayor, corporation, and other inhabitants have presented at diverse times no fewer than 1,420 petitions against the continuance of Negro slavery abroad, and an equal number against any interference with the factory system at home.


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[Assistant] Mr. Pickwick stood in the principal street of this illustrious town, and gazed with an air of curiosity, not unmixed with interest, on the objects around him.


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[Assistant] There was an open square for the marketplace, and in the centre of it, a large inn with a signpost in front, displaying an object very common in art, but rarely met with in nature. To wit, a blue lion, with three bow legs in the air, balancing himself on the extreme point of the centre claw of his forefoot.


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[Assistant] The last mentioned warehouse being also appropriated to the diffusion of hats, bonnets, wearing apparel, cotton umbrellas, and useful knowledge.


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[Assistant] There was a red brick house with a small paved courtyard in front, which anybody might have known belonged to the attorney.


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[Assistant] And there was moreover another red brick house with Venetian blinds and a large brass door plate with a very legible announcement that it belonged to the surgeon. A few boys were making their way to the cricket field


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[Assistant] And two or three shopkeepers who were standing at their doors looked as if they should like to be making their way to the same spot, as indeed to all appearance they might have done without losing any great amount of custom thereby.


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[Assistant] Mr. Pickwick, having paused to make these observations, to be noted down at a more convenient period,


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[Assistant] Hastened to rejoin his friends, who had turned out of the main street and were already within sight of the field of battle.


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[Assistant] The wickets were pitched, and so were a couple of marquees for the rest and refreshment of the contending parties. The game had not yet commenced.


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[Assistant] Two or three dingly dellas and all muggletonians were amusing themselves with the majestic air by throwing them all carelessly from hand to hand.


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[Assistant] And several other gentlemen dressed like them in straw hats, flannel jackets and white trousers, a costume in which they looked very much like amateur stonemasons, were sprinkled about the tents towards one of which Mr. Wardle conducted the party.


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[Assistant] Said one very stout gentleman, whose body and legs looked like half a gigantic roll of flannel elevated on a couple of inflated pillowcases. You'll find it much pleasanter, sir.


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[Assistant] Were the words which fell upon Mr. Pickwick's ear as he entered the tent. And the first object that met his eyes was his green-coated friend of the Rochester coach. Holding forth.


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[Assistant] To the no small delight in edification of the select circle of the chosen of all Muggleton.


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[Assistant] His dress was slightly improved and he wore boots, but there was no mistaking him.


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[Assistant] Mr. Pickwick sat down as he was bid, and Mr. Winkle and Mr. Snodgrass also complied with the directions of their mysterious friend. Mr. Wardle looked on in silent wonder. Mr. Wardle, a friend of mine, said Mr. Pickwick.


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[Assistant] By a process peculiar to himself into that extent of good fellowship on which a general invitation may be easily founded. His curiosity was therefore satisfied.


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[Assistant] And putting on his spectacles, he prepared himself to watch the play which was just commencing. All Muggleton had the first innings.


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[Assistant] And the interest became intense when Mr. Dumkins and Mr. Potter, two of the most renowned members of that most distinguished club, walked bat in hand to their respective wickets.


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[Assistant] Mr. Luffy, the highest ornament of Dingley Dell, was pitched to bowl against the redoubtable Duncans, and Mr. Struggles was selected into the same kind of office for the hitherto unconquered prodder.


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[Assistant] and applied the ball to his right eye for several seconds


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[Assistant] confidently awaited its coming with his eyes fixed on the motions of nothing. Play! suddenly cried the bowler.


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[Assistant] The bowlers were changed and bowled till their arms ached, but Dumkins and Potter remained unconquered.


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[Assistant] Did an elderly gentleman say to stop the progress of the ball, it rolled between his legs or slipped between his fingers?


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[Assistant] Did a slim gentleman try to catch it? It struck him on the nose and bounded pleasantly off with redoubled violence, while the slim gentleman's eyes filled with water and his form writhed with anguish. Was it thrown straight up to the wicked dumbkins and reached it before the ball? In short,


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[Assistant] Why the score of the Dingby Delos was as blank as their faces. The advantage was too great to be recovered.


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[Assistant] At every good stroke, he expressed his satisfaction and approval of the player in a most condescending and patronizing manner, which could not fail to have been highly gratifying to the party concerned.


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[Assistant] Humbug! And so forth. Ejaculations which seem to establish him in the opinion of all around as the most excellent and undeniable judge of the whole art and mystery of the noble game of cricket.


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[Assistant] Capital game, well played, some strokes admirable, said the stranger, as both sides crowded into the tent at the conclusion of the game. You've played it, sir? inquired Mr. Wardle, who had been much amused by his loquacity.


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[Assistant] It must be rather a warm pursuit in such a climate, observed Mr. Pickwick. Warm? Red hot, scorching, glowing.


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[Assistant] But whether to hide his emotion or imbibe its contents we cannot distinctly affirm. We only know that he paused suddenly, drew a long and deep breath,


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[Assistant] And looked anxiously on as two of the principal members of the Dingley Dell Club approached Mr. Pickwick and said,


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[Assistant] Of course, said Mr. Wardle. Among our friends we include Mr., and he looked towards the stranger. Jingle!


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[Assistant] Said that versatile gentleman, taking the hint at once. Jingle! Alfred Jingle is quiet of no haul nowhere. I shall be very happy, I'm sure.


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[Assistant] So shall I, said Mr Alfred Jingle, drawing one arm through Mr Pickwick's and another through Mr Wardle's.


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[Assistant] There being no further preliminaries to arrange, the company straggled into the town in little knots of twos and threes.


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[Assistant] There was a vast deal of talking and rattling of knives and forks and plates, a great running about of three ponderous headed waiters, and a rapid disappearance of the substantial viands on the table.


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[Assistant] When everyone had eaten as much as possible, the cloth was removed, bottles, glasses and dessert were placed on the table, and the waiters withdrew to clear away.


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[Assistant] Or in other words, to appropriate to their own private use and emolument whatever remnants of the eatables and drinkables they could contrive to lay their hands on.


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[Assistant] There was a little man with a puffy, say nothing to me or I'll contradict you sort of countenance who remained very quiet.


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[Assistant] Mr. Jingle uttered a patronizing here here, which was responded to by the remainder of the company and the glasses having been filled. The vice president assumed an air of wisdom in a state of profound attention and said, Mr. Staple. Sir, said the little man rising.


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[Assistant] I wish to address what I have to say to you and not to our worthy chairman, because our worthy chairman is in some measure, I may say in a great degree, the subject of what I have to say, or I may say to, to... State? Suggested Mr Jingle? Yes, to state.


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[Assistant] Said the little man, I thank my honorable friend, if he will allow me to call him so, for years, and one certainly, from Mr. Jingle, for the suggestion. Sir, I am a Della. A Dingley Della. Cheers.


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[Assistant] I cannot lay claim to the honour of forming an item in the population of Muggleton. Nor sir, I will frankly admit to I covet that honour. And I will tell you why, sir. Here.


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[Assistant] So Muggleton, I will readily concede all those honours and distinctions to which it can fairly lay claim. They are too numerous and too well known to require aid or recapitulation from me. But sir, while we remember that Muggleton has given birth to a Dumkins and a Potter,


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[Assistant] Let us never forget that Dingley Dell can boast a luffy in her struggles. Must suffer us cheering.


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[Assistant] Every gentleman who hears me is probably acquainted with the reply made by an individual who, to use an ordinary figure of speech,


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[Assistant] Hung out in a tub to the Emperor Alexander. If I were not Diogenes, said he, I would be Alexander. I can well imagine these gentlemen to say, if I were not Dumkins, I would be Luffy. If I were not Potter, I would be Struggles. Enthusiasm.


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[Assistant] Have you never been taught to associate potter with property? Great applause.


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[Assistant] I beg to surround with a rich halo of enthusiastic cheering the united names of Dunkinj and Poda. Here the little man ceased.


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[Assistant] And here the company commenced a raising of voices and thumping of tables, which lasted with little intermission during the remainder of the evening. Other toasts were drunk.


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[Assistant] We should have felt a sensation of pride, which we cannot express, and a consciousness of having done something to merit immortality, of which we are now deprived. Could we have laid the faintest outline of these addresses before our ardent readers?


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[Assistant] By dint of patient investigation, we have been enabled to trace some characters bearing a faint resemblance to the names of the speakers.


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[Assistant] And we can also discern an entry of a song, supposed to have been sung by Mr. Jingle, in which the words bowl, sparkling, ruby, bright, and wine are frequently repeated at short intervals.


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[Assistant] We fancy too that we can discern at the very end of the notes


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[Assistant] We will therefore return to Mr. Tutman, merely adding that within some few minutes before twelve o'clock that night, the convocation of worthies of Dingledale and Muggleton were heard to sing with great feeling and emphasis the beautiful and pathetic national air of


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[Assistant] We won't go home till morning. We won't go home till morning. We won't go home till morning till daylight does appear.


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[Assistant] It's common to advise people who are drawn to tricky candidates simply to leave them and find someone more wholesome.


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[Assistant] It may be wiser simply to adjust how we respond and behave around the occasionally difficult characters


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[Assistant] Whom our past mandates will find compelling.


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[Assistant] Our problems are often generated because we continue to respond to compelling people in the way that we learn to behave as children around their templates.


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[Assistant] We love them and reacted by feeling that when they were angry, we must be guilty. We got timid or humble.


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[Assistant] Now if a partner to whom we are magnetically drawn gets crossed,


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[Assistant] We feel gutted and yet deserving of criticism. We build up a lot of resentment.


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[Assistant] Or perhaps we are drawn to someone with a short fuse, which makes us blow up in turn.


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[Assistant] We readily end up with a partner who is also a bit weak and demands us to care for them. But then we get frustrated by their weakness. We tiptoe around them, we try to encourage and reassure, as we did when we were little.


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[Assistant] But we also condemn this person for being undeserving.


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[Assistant] But in the more mature and constructive manner of a rational adult,


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[Assistant] There is an enormous opportunity to move ourselves from a childlike to a more adult pattern of response in relation to the difficulties we are attracted to.


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[Assistant] Chapter 2 The Letters from the Phantom


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[Assistant] Meanwhile, in another part of town, the opera's old owners, Debienne and Polygnie, were having dinner with the new owners, Richard and Montchamin.


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[Assistant] After they had eaten and drank much of the restaurant's fine wine,


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[Assistant] The owners told Richard and Montchermin that they had one last thing to tell them about the opera house.


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[Assistant] It must be told before the men became the opera house's new owners.


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[Assistant] Poligny took out a piece of paper from his coat pocket. It was a note.


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[Assistant] Written in a beautiful handwriting with red ink.


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[Assistant] The note said that the owners of the Paris Opera House must give someone calling himself the Phantom of the Opera 20,000 francs every month.


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[Assistant] It seemed that the phantom enjoyed watching the operas from that place.


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[Assistant] He will be very angry if he is not obeyed.


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[Assistant] He has done things to us before, said Debian.


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[Assistant] Richard and Monchamin were reasonable men.


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[Assistant] They certainly did not believe in ghosts or phantoms. And twenty thousand francs was a lot of money.


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[Assistant] They were not going to give that much money to some ridiculous man, who was probably crazy anyway.


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[Assistant] They believed that the old owners were playing a very complicated joke on them. They decided to ignore the note


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[Assistant] After a large and delicious lunch at a nearby restaurant, Richard entered his office.


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[Assistant] He had sat down at his desk and was thinking about taking a short rest when he saw a note lying on the table.


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[Assistant] Certainly I understand that you must be very busy learning to manage this fine opera house.


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[Assistant] For myself? I am sorry to have missed several of your wonderful operas.


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[Assistant] It is unfortunate that people continue to buy box number five when I have asked for it. Debian and Polygni have written to me.


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[Assistant] They tell me they have warned you about my little requests.


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[Assistant] At the moment, it seems that you have decided not to pay attention.


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[Assistant] Since I am sure that you have only forgotten, I will ask you once again. Do not sell box number five, or you will suffer the results. The Phantom of the Opera.


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[Assistant] Richard was thinking about this strange letter when Montchermin entered the room very upset. He had the very same letter in his hand.


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[Assistant] Richard and Mount Sherman spoke together for some time.


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[Assistant] They were beginning to think that this joke of Debian and Poligny was becoming very irritating.


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[Assistant] Why were they bothering the new owners with stupid ghost stories?


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[Assistant] Richard and Montchermin decided that perhaps the old owners simply missed their theater and wanted to have some fun.


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[Assistant] Most Charmin said that for the Opera House's future shows,


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[Assistant] They should give Opera Box 5 to the old managers.


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[Assistant] Certainly, this would make the ridiculous old man feel better.


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[Assistant] The next day, the managers received a letter from Debian and Polygon.


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[Assistant] It thanked Richard and Montcharmand for kindly offering them Opera Box 5.


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[Assistant] But Debian and Polygni would not dare to take that box away from the terrible phantom. Who knew what would happen?


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[Assistant] That same day, they received a letter from the Phantom.


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[Assistant] It thanked them for leaving Opera Box 5 open.


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[Assistant] I had a very wonderful evening, the letter continued, but please.


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[Assistant] Do not forget to give me 20,000 francs every month. I shall be waiting for it.


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[Assistant] They still believed that the old owners were playing a trick on them, and they did not have time for any more jokes.


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[Assistant] They decided to ignore the phantom of the opera's letters if they came.


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[Assistant] For the next weeks, Opera Box 5 was sold as usual. However,


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[Assistant] The unfortunate person who bought the box did not get to enjoy the opera.


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[Assistant] Whenever anyone tried to enter the box, they would hear a strange cold voice. It said, I am sorry.


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[Assistant] The person saw no one in the box and they did not know where the voice was coming from


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[Assistant] Then the frightened person would jump out of the box and look into it, wondering.


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[Assistant] Each time they did this, the box would be empty.


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[Assistant] They would tell themselves that they had only imagined the voice.


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[Assistant] So, they would bravely step back into the box.


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[Assistant] But they would run away frightened when the terrible voice spoke to them again.


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[Assistant] Oh no, the Phantom of the Opera has come to haunt us, this person would say.


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[Assistant] And of course, the others only laughed at the poor customer because they did not believe in ghosts.


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[Assistant] After this experience, the people who bought Box 5 would ask for their money back.


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[Assistant] Because people's stories about Box 5 and the Phantom of the Opera were ruining their business.


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[Assistant] They were tired of hearing things about the ridiculous phantom. They thought that if the phantom was not the old manager's playing tricks, then he was someone else, maybe a young man who did not like opera.


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[Assistant] Eventually, Richard and Montchermin decided that they would watch one performance inside Box 5. They were determined to solve the mystery.


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[Assistant] I opened the door, but the policewoman was standing guard.


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[Assistant] The inspector will be with you in a moment, she told me. Please stay inside.


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[Assistant] I could see downstairs, just a glimpse of Gramps pacing the room, wringing his hands, while Carter and a police inspector talked on the sofa. I couldn't make out what they were saying. Could I just use the loo? I asked the nice officer. No. She closed the door in my face. As if I might rig an explosion in the toilet, honestly.


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[Assistant] I dug out my iPod and scrolled through my playlist. Nothing struck me. I threw it on my bed in disgust.


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[Assistant] When I'm too distracted for music, that is a very sad thing.


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[Assistant] I wondered why Carter got to talk to the police first. It wasn't fair. I fiddled with the necklace Dad had given me.


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[Assistant] I'd never been sure what the symbol meant. Carter's was obviously an eye, but mine looked a bit like an angel, or perhaps a killer alien robot. Why on earth had Dad asked if I still had it?


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[Assistant] Of course I still had it. It was the only gift he'd ever given me.


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[Assistant] Well, apart from Muffin, and with the cat's attitude, I'm not sure I would call her a proper gift.


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[Assistant] Dad had practically abandoned me at age six after all. The necklace was my one link to him.


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[Assistant] On good days I would stare at it and remember him fondly.


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[Assistant] On bad days, which were much more frequent, I would bling it across the room and stomp on it and curse him for not being around, which I found quite therapeutic. But in the end, I always put it back on.


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[Assistant] At any rate, during the weirdness at the museum, and I'm not making this up, the necklace got hotter.


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[Assistant] I'll make things right, Dad had said, with that guilty look he often gives me. Well, colossal fail, Dad. What has he been thinking?


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[Assistant] I wanted to believe it had all been a bad dream. The glowing hieroglyphs, the snake star, the coffin. Things like that simply don't happen. But I knew better.


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[Assistant] I couldn't dream anything as horrifying as that fiery man's face when he turned on us. Soon, boy, he told Carter as if he intended to track us down. Just the idea made my hands tremble.


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[Assistant] My eyes wandered across my room and fixed on my desk. No, I thought, not going to do it. But I walked over and opened the drawer.


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[Assistant] I shoved aside a few old mags, my stash of sweets, a stack of maths homework I'd forgotten to hand in, and a few pictures of me and my mates, Liz and Emma, trying on ridiculous hats in Camden Market. And there, at the bottom of it all, was the picture of Mum.


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[Assistant] Gran and Gramps have loads of pictures. They keep a shrine to Ruby in the hall cupboard. Mum's childhood artwork, her O-level results, her graduation picture from university, her favourite jewellery. It's quite mental.


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[Assistant] I was determined not to be like them, living in the past. I barely remembered mum after all, and nothing could change the fact she was dead. But I did keep the one picture.


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[Assistant] It was of mum and me at our house in Los Angeles just after I was born.


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[Assistant] She stood out on the balcony, the pacific ocean behind her, holding a wrinkled pudgy lump of baby that would someday grow up to be yours truly.


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[Assistant] Baby me was not much to look at, but mum was gorgeous, even in shorts and a tattered t-shirt. Her eyes were deep blue, her blonde hair was clipped back, her skin was perfect, quite depressing compared to mine.


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[Assistant] People always say I look like her, but I couldn't even get the spot off my chin, much less look so mature and beautiful. Stop smirking, Carter!


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[Assistant] The photo fascinated me because I hardly remembered our lives together at all.


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[Assistant] But the main reason I kept the photo was because of the symbol on mum's t-shirt, one of those life symbols, an ankh. My dead mother wearing the symbol for life. Nothing could have been sadder. But she smiled at the camera as if she knew a secret.


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[Assistant] As if my dad and she were sharing a private joke. Something tugged at the back of my mind.


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[Assistant] I had an eerie feeling that if I saw the words pair, unk, written in hieroglyphs, I would know what they meant. I put down the picture of mum.


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[Assistant] I picked up a pencil and turned over one of my old homework papers.


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[Assistant] I wondered what would happen if I tried to draw the words pear, unk. Would the right design just occur to me?


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[Assistant] As I touched pencil to paper, my bedroom door opened. Miss Kane? I whirled and dropped the pencil. A police inspector stood frowning in my doorway. What are you doing? Maths, I said.


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[Assistant] My ceiling was quite low, so the inspector had to stoop to come in.


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[Assistant] He wore a lint-colored suit that matched his gray hair and his ashen face.


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[Assistant] Now then Sadie, I'm Chief Inspector Williams. Let's have a chat, shall we? Sit down.


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[Assistant] I didn't sit, and neither did he, which must have annoyed him. It's hard to look in charge when you're hunched over like Quasimodo. Tell me everything, please, he said, from the time your father came round to get you. I already told the police at the museum. Again, if you don't mind. So I told him everything. Why not?


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[Assistant] His left eyebrow crept higher and higher as I told him the strange bits like the glowing letters and serpent staff. Well, Sadie, Inspector William said, you've got quite an imagination.


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[Assistant] I'm not lying, Inspector, and I think your eyebrow is trying to escape. He tried to look at his own eyebrows, then scowled.


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[Assistant] Now Sadie, I'm sure this is very hard on you. I understand you want to protect your father's reputation, but he's gone now. You mean through the floor in a coffin? I insisted. He's not dead. Inspector Williams spread his hands. Sadie, I'm very sorry.


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[Assistant] But we must find out why he did this act of, well, act of what? He cleared his throat uncomfortably.


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[Assistant] Are you saying my father's a terrorist? Are you mad? We've made calls to some of your father's associates. I understand his behavior has become erratic since your mother's death.


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[Assistant] Thanks for the ride, Harry. You've been awfully sweet to poor little me. Drop in again sometime. So long, babe.


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[Assistant] That's too bad. There won't be another bus until tomorrow morning. Come on in the house. Maggie will pick you up for the night.


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[Assistant] Darcy was feeling a bit insecure. With us, she knew unconditional love.


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[Assistant] Over the next few months, she lost some weight, found a new job, dyed her hair three times and had it permed, straightened, and cut.


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[Assistant] My adopted son, Dale, wondered why she was in such a flap.


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[Assistant] These people are just strangers, he said. Why does she even want to meet them? I replied, it must be meant to be, Dale. Look at us here.


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[Assistant] Jenny and Garth lived centrally, and now we all live in the East End.


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[Assistant] I was truly in awe of the strange trail of unlikely coincidences that all these years later had brought us to the same neighborhood.


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[Assistant] By June 1997, Darcy asked me to arrange a meeting with her birth family. Jenny was pleased, but cautious.


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[Assistant] Darcy was so nervous that I had to grate Jenny and Garth and bring them into the kitchen.


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[Assistant] They both began to cry as Jenny held the daughter she had given up so many years ago.


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[Assistant] When we had all calmed down, we settled in the family room and the conversation flowed easily.


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[Assistant] Darcy showed them her baby album and school pictures and asked a lot of questions.


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[Assistant] She alerted that Garth had been 16 and Jenny only 14 when she was born. They had given her up out of love, knowing they were not ready to be parents.


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[Assistant] When they alerted from me she had grown up close by in a good family, it seemed like a miracle, and they were over-dried.


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[Assistant] Although nature has not endowed them with any spontaneous pleasure in literature or art, decided to be thought cultured,


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[Assistant] And spend boring hours learning the right thing to say about fashionable new books that are written to give delight


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[Assistant] Not to afford opportunities for dusty snobism.


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[Assistant] If you look around at the men and the women whom you can call happy,


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[Assistant] Which at most gradually builds up something that you are glad to see coming into existence.


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[Assistant] Can't get this kind of satisfaction out of bringing up a family.


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[Assistant] Artists and authors and men of science get happiness in this way if their own work seems good to them.


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[Assistant] Many men who spend their working life in the city devote their weekends to voluntary and unremunerated toil in their gardens.


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[Assistant] And when the spring comes, they experience all the joys of having created beauty.


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[Assistant] The whole subject of happiness has, in my opinion, been treated too solemnly.


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[Assistant] It had been thought that man cannot be happy without a theory of life or religion.


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[Assistant] Perhaps those who have been rendered unhappy by a bad theory may need a better theory to help them to recover.


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[Assistant] If a man delights in his wife and children, has success in work, and finds pleasure in the alternation of day and night, spring and autumn,


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[Assistant] He will be happy whatever his philosophy may be. If, on the other hand, he finds his wife faithful, his children's noise unendurable, and they office a nightmare, if in the daytime he longs for night,


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[Assistant] Then what he needs is not a new philosophy, but a new regimen.


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[Assistant] would increase their happiness more by walking 6 miles every day than by any conceivable change of philosophy.


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[Assistant] Mary, your decision not to marry Philip is your own business, and I'd be the last one to interfere.


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[Assistant] That Wentworth girl is a witness in an important government case. And Philip was out with her strictly in his capacity as an attorney for the Justice Department.


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[Assistant] Mary, after you've had your dinner, we'd like to have that little talk with you.


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[Assistant] Oh, excuse me, I just remembered something I've got to tell Gustav.


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[Assistant] Mary, that's a defense mechanism. An unconscious manifestation of your jealousy.


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[Assistant] Young lady, do you know the meaning of the word bumbledom?


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[Assistant] Bumbledom, young lady, is the pomposity of petty officials.


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[Assistant] Little people and little jobs who think the world will stop turning without them.


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[Assistant] You at your switchboard, thinking that you have the right to decide who may or may not speak to the President.


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[Assistant] As an ardent admirer of the female sex, may I say without a doubt that you are the most insufferable specimen that has ever been my misfortune to encounter? You've said just about enough. That's all I intend to say. Except for one more thing, Miss Number, please. I'll get through to the President in spite of you and your bumbledom.


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[Assistant] With the president's compliments. It's for your hiccups.


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[Assistant] Oh yes, of course. Now give him your exact words.


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[Assistant] I know, Mary, but I have to find out what time to pick you up for Justice Peabody's party.


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[Assistant] Oh, that's great. How soon can you arrange for him to do like that?


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[Assistant] In my position, a presidential request is in order, and I've been ordered to take you to the party. Am I to inform the president that you refuse?


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[Assistant] Only I didn't catch on until Mr. Five Star Final asked me how I'd like to quit the Navy and go into the newspaper business.


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[Assistant] No like. I'm allergic to permanent shore duty. I wanna get back to sea. I don't care whether it's on a battle wagon or a... or canoe.


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[Assistant] And I thank you. I thank the President. And I thank you. Very smart, Mary. That oughta prove to them that Philip's a dead duck.


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[Assistant] Mary, you proved something to me too. I'll be around tomorrow to pick up where we left off. Strictly on a personal basis.


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[Assistant] I didn't come here for the floor show. We had a date tonight, remember?


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[Assistant] Don't bother, the date doesn't interest me at all. I merely waited to show you that I was living up to my part of the bargain.


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[Assistant] Skip it. Judging from past performances, I don't think you're the dependable type. Between now and tomorrow, you're liable to run into a marine.


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[Assistant] Well Mary, if the president got you into the situation, it's up to him to get you out. That's what presidents are for.


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[Assistant] The President will be glad to hear it. Frankly, he wasn't very impressed with Mr. Paxton. The young man doesn't seem to be entirely, uh, rational.


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[Assistant] I'm sure the President will be pleased. You see, Mary, just between you and me...


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[Assistant] It's the president's unofficial opinion that Mr. Paxton is more or less of a square.


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[Assistant] The whole island was just a tiny place with a handful of natives. Anyway, when he died, I took over. I was doing a passable job too when the war broke out.


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[Assistant] Oh no, I'm no stupid. And besides, the President doesn't like Paxton.


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[Assistant] Not much, except that I heard the President and Mr. Hellwood discussing him. Frankly, Mary, from what they think of him, you'd be in much better company with me.


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[Assistant] Mary, who do you think's a better judge of character, you or the president?


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[Assistant] Yes, hello, Paxton. Oh, sit down. Thanks. Miss Peppertree left word for me to meet you here. Where is Mary? She'll join us later.


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[Assistant] She was ordered to go out with him by the president. Oh, nonsense, Philip. It's true, sir. She's out with him again right now.


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[Assistant] I'm having dinner at the White House on Sunday and I'll mention it to the President. Sunday? Anything can happen between now and Sunday. I'm seeing the President on Thursday.


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[Assistant] Well, I'm afraid I can't discuss it over the phone, Mr. Justice. Where are you? I'll come right over.


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[Assistant] Oh, I'm sorry. We've been waiting for someone, but we can get your business straightened out in the meantime. Good.


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[Assistant] We thought we were protecting her from a very disagreeable young man named Paxton. David Paxton? Yes, do you know him? He's sitting right over there, excuse me.


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[Assistant] Maybe in six months or so you'll have something on your minds besides Mary Peppertree.


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[Assistant] And a permanent one, he's leaving town. Oh, well I guess that solves our problem. Good luck with, uh, Miss Pepper Tree. Thanks.


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[Assistant] Rather late to be having dinner, isn't it? Your office told me I'd find you here and I didn't come to eat. Something wrong? Plenty.


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[Assistant] After the way my papers have been supporting the president, he's certainly picking a fine way to show his gratitude. Well, I don't follow you, Sam. It's Farlington and that peppery girl. Oh, not you too. Now let's sit down and talk this over calmly. I am afraid I'm getting a little old, Sam. Just, where do you fit into the picture? Farlington and my daughter are practically engaged.


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[Assistant] Mary, in our opinion, you're making a fool of yourself over this Paxton.


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[Assistant] Harvey. Now Sam, I'm sure we'll straighten this out. You'd better. And I wouldn't count too much on that young man with a Justice B body.


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[Assistant] Gustav Mary strikes me as a girl of pretty good judgment. There must be something to Paxon we don't see.


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[Assistant] Mr. Elwood sent this pair of tickets to my hotel this afternoon, along with a suit, a government car, this corsage, and a note saying you were expecting me.


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[Assistant] Oh, well, he can't make it. He's tied up on special duty aboard the prison's yacht.


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[Assistant] Mr. Elwood's really going to bat for me. I'm finally getting some action. He tells me I have you to thank. Me? Yes. Oh, good evening, Mr. Peppertree. Evening. Huh?


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[Assistant] Miss Peppertree, I, I have a confession to make. I hate her.


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[Assistant] I've been waiting for Mr. Paxton. For me? Yes. I've checked your documents. You've got a valid claim. I've filed the necessary papers in the proper court. The case doesn't come up for over a year, but you'll be notified in time. Thought I should tell you tonight, knowing how anxious you are to get out of Washington. Well, I...


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[Assistant] I appreciate your speed and efficiency, Manning, but, uh, I've changed my plans. I'm, uh, staying around a while. I assure you I can handle everything for you. Not everything. Hi.


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[Assistant] Is this a private sewing circle or are you taking in new members?


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[Assistant] Lieutenant Farrington was ordered aboard the presidential yacht to check supplies for a trip that won't be made for another three months.


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[Assistant] Not very. It was done deliberately so I wouldn't be able to keep our date.


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[Assistant] What is all this? It's all very simple, Mr. Paxton. Farrington was brought in to split up Mary and me. Now they're using you to split up Mary and Farrington. Vicious little circle, isn't it? That's an understatement.


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[Assistant] I think you can save your explanations for the switchboard, Miss Pepper Tree. You know, just knowing you is like living on a merry-go-round.


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[Assistant] I was right about other things. We're not just a habit with each other, Mary. We belong together.


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[Assistant] Why not? That's one of the odd complications I've found in this case, sir.


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[Assistant] Mr. Paxton is not a citizen. Technically, he's guilty of illegal entry. Are you sure? Positive, sir. I checked with the State Department.


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[Assistant] Get me the immigration department, please. You know, Crombie, there's nothing like trouble to bring young folks together. That's why Cupid shoots them with an arrow instead of a feather.


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[Assistant] I refuse to go. I'll fight this in every court in the country. You'll have the opportunity, Mr. Paxton. We'll set a hearing in the near future.


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[Assistant] I know it's a regular commissioner, but if you're paroling to Miss Peppertree for 24 hours, I'll assume full responsibility. They'll have a regular bond posted by then.


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[Assistant] Tell Mr. Paxton Miss Peppertree will meet him at Gustav's as soon as she's off duty. Ah, I'm very grateful to you, Commissioner. Have a good day. Well, it's all arranged.


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[Assistant] I'm sorry to barge in like this, Harvey, but I just received a call from the State Department about the deportation of a David Paxton. They told me you know something about it. Why yes, Admiral.


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[Assistant] And I hope you realize the significance of the deportation proceedings against Paxton.


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[Assistant] If we establish him as a foreigner, we establish the island as foreign soil, and not part of the United States, which means that the Navy is trespassing. Great Scott, Admiral. Paxton never spoke about anything but studying fish.


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[Assistant] He made it sound small and unimportant, and he certainly never mentioned Carlson Island. That could have been deliberate. Harvey, I'm afraid you've been taken in by a smart operator.


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[Assistant] This Paxton has maneuvered the government into a position where we either have to make terms with him or move. We better take this up with the president.


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[Assistant] That Paxton's got him mixed up in a bad situation. We're on our way to Gustav's now. Moran, take over for a while. Wait, fellas, I'm going with you.


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[Assistant] Ask him. Look at him, he doesn't know what we're talking about.


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[Assistant] Your friend here has maneuvered the government into a spot where it has to come to terms with them in order to keep one of our most strategic naval bases.


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[Assistant] Let me get this straight, Lieutenant. Is that what all this fuss is about? The government thinks I'm playing landlord? Well, aren't you? Well, if you must know, yes.


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[Assistant] Yes, Cocoa Pango is my island. And since I'm not a citizen, that makes it a foreign sovereign state.


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[Assistant] That's no way to feel, Mary. Business is business. Paxton, if you as much as talk to my daughter again, I get him out of here before I forget myself. Let's go, Paxton.


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[Assistant] Well, I'd like to oblige you, Lieutenant, but, uh, I'm in Miss Peppertree's custody. I can't go anyplace unless she accompanies me.


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[Assistant] Sorry boys, I don't budge without my custodian. It, uh, looks like the meeting will have to come here.


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[Assistant] In four more years, I'd be eligible for a pension. But this is liable to cost me my job. What about me? I had to be the one who filed his papers for him. They're a hurry too. I'll probably have to resign.


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[Assistant] Paxton, we're here to negotiate that Carlson Island situation. Oh, good. Just what is it you're after, Mr. Paxton? Well, to begin with, I understand your Navy has several


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[Assistant] I'm sorry, I understood you wish to negotiate this matter, not merely discuss it. Well, why should we buy what we already own? It's our naval base.


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[Assistant] First I'd like to go over a few of the angles with the Miss Peppertree.


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[Assistant] Ms. Peppertree. I'll see here, Paxton. I don't see any harm in that, Admiral. I'll tell Ms. Peppertree. Thank you.


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[Assistant] Paxton's becoming extremely difficult, gentlemen. He insists on discussing the matter with Miss Pepper Tree.


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[Assistant] I don't understand it. Well, the three of us couldn't get anywhere. Perhaps the situation requires the feminine touch.


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[Assistant] Why does he have to talk to Mary, and why in the kitchen? It's obvious, the man's slightly mad. Maybe I'd better go in there. Now, now, gentlemen, there's no cause for alarm. I'm sure.


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[Assistant] Well, Harvey, explain that. No, I'm not even going to try, Senator. What do we do? Just stand here, let's do something about this. All right. What do we do? Well, uh...


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[Assistant] I'll go. I'm anxious to speak to him. Why does he want a supreme court justice?


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[Assistant] Gentlemen, I have drafted for submission to the Senate


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[Assistant] A treaty of annexation between the United States of America and Mr. David Paxton, sovereign ruler of Cocopango Atoll.


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[Assistant] Session to the United States will be made for and in consideration of one dollar.


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[Assistant] One, Mr. David Paxton is to be appointed Director of Research of the Fish and Wildlife Service.


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[Assistant] Two, Mr. Philip Manning, in consideration of exceptional legal ability, is to be given a Circuit Court Judgeship in a district not less than 1500 miles from Washington, D.C.


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[Assistant] Three, Lieutenant Thomas Farrington is to be assigned to immediate active sea duty.


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[Assistant] And is to be given his choice as to the type of naval craft.


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[Assistant] By the terms of the treaty, all residents of Kokopango Atoll shall automatically become citizens of the United States.


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[Assistant] As of ten minutes ago, by edict of the ruler, David Faxon,


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[Assistant] Mr. Gustav Heindl was proclaimed a resident of Coca Pango.


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[Assistant] Therefore, upon annexation, Mr. Hindle, as well as Mr. Paxton, becomes an American citizen.


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[Assistant] The second gobsmacker of the last 24 hours was Donald Trump's appearance last night at the National Boy Scout Jamboree, okay? It's no surprise he went to the Boy Scouts. With all his scandals, he needs someone who's good at putting out fires. Thank you, really. Thank you very much.


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[Assistant] Now, uh, obviously this is an event for children from all over the country and it is a completely non-partisan event. So Trump left the politics behind and just talked about his hopes for their future. I'm just kidding. Uhm, he did his thing.


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[Assistant] Take that, Girl Scouts. Uh huh.


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[Assistant] The Boy Scouts are known for their love of civic engagement. We have Boy Scouts in my family. We have an Eagle Scout in my family. One of the nice things is that they do badges on civil society and the government. They have a deep, abiding, non-cynical, non-ironic belief in our democracy.


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[Assistant] We could use more loyalty. For instance, that guy on stage just threatened to fire the guy he said was doing a good job.


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[Assistant] And then, as if Trump's insecurities and personal obsessions were not enough to pour poison into the ears of children.


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[Assistant] Then Trump laid out his bold vision for the future.


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[Assistant] Yes, they are downplaying it for some reason. I'm just spitballing here. Maybe because it's July.


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[Assistant] And now that they've heard from the President, the Scouts have updated their oath. Let me just...


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[Assistant] Yes, sir. It is for you, sir. It's the president.


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[Assistant] I'll go to sleepovers and of course I'm the first one to fall asleep ever and so I never know what's going on after when I fall asleep or sometimes I'll go to concerts and stuff and I'll get kind of tired. I'll have to take a caffeine pill to help me stay awake and stuff.


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[Assistant] What happened, Murad? You don't look well.


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[Assistant] If I were a boy again, I would cultivate courage.


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[Assistant] The fear of ill exceeds the ill with fear. Dangers will arise in any career.


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[Assistant] If you smile upon it, it smiles back upon you. But if you frown and look down upon it, you will get a similar look in return.


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[Assistant] Inner sunshine warms not only the heart of the owner, but of all that comes in contact with it. Who sheds love out, in turn shall be shed out from love. If I were a boy again,


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[Assistant] I would school myself to say no more often.


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[Assistant] I might write pages on the importance of learning very early in life.


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[Assistant] I would demand of myself more courtesy towards my companions and friends.


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[Assistant] And indeed, towards strangers as well.


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[Assistant] The smallest courtesy along the rough road of life are like the little birds that sing to us all winter long and make that season of ice and snow more endurable. Finally, instead of trying hard to be happy, as if that were the sole purpose of life, I would if I were a boy again.


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[Assistant] I would still try harder to make others happy.


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[Assistant] Anything below the first floor belongs to... to him.


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[Assistant] Of course not. Honestly Raoul, are you crazy?


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[Assistant] Raoul, believe me, he is working on his opera. When he works on his opera he thinks of nothing else. He doesn't eat or even sleep. It was probably one of the opera workers.


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[Assistant] Raoul, earlier you said you would take me away. I want to be with you more than anything. If I suddenly change my mind, when you come for me, do not listen. Take me by force.


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[Assistant] Oh Raoul, he is like a demon, a monster.


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[Assistant] And he says he loves me and will keep me with him forever. I shall die if I go underground and live with him.


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[Assistant] Eric told me he will stop working on his opera tomorrow. He will come for me and take me down there.


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[Assistant] Then he will cry and tell me he loves me in that desperate voice, looking at me with that hideous face.


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[Assistant] Let him hear me sing one last time tomorrow night. At midnight.


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[Assistant] Come to my dressing room, and we will leave in secret.


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[Assistant] You must be there tomorrow, no matter what happens. Eric will wait to take me with him. I think that if I go with him tomorrow, I will never return.


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[Assistant] The first time I saw his face, I was so afraid he was going to die. Or he would kill me.


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[Assistant] He is working on his music. We are alone on this roof.


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[Assistant] I doubt you're worried about that the way I always embarrass you in my public talks.


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[Assistant] Today's guest is a true numberphile VIP. And let me explain why. David Eisenbud is a well-respected mathematician. He's got an impressive array of papers and books under his belt. These days, he's at the helm of a place called MSRI. That's the Mathematical Sciences Research Institute. It's in Berkeley, California.


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[Assistant] That name might sound familiar, because MSRI has been a major supporter of Numberphile for many years. I spend several weeks each year at the institute meeting and interviewing top mathematicians who visit there. It's become a bit of a home away from home for me. And over that time,


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[Assistant] David's become a person I'd consider most responsible for like my mathematical education.


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[Assistant] I don't mean teaching me calculus or how matrices work, although he has tried that from time to time too. What I mean is that David's taught me how the world of professional mathematics works. About universities, about how like research gets done, how papers get published.


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[Assistant] Like any field of endeavor, mathematics is full of gossip and politics, personalities. It's a very human world, and there are few people who know it better and seem to be better connected within it than David Eisenbud.


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[Assistant] Today's interview with him is very typical of the sorts of conversations we have, and I hope it gives you some insights into not just David's life, but how mathematics works, how it really works.


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[Assistant] Would I have thought, oh yeah, this guy, he's going to be a mathematician for sure.


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[Assistant] Do you know what a mathematician was then? Cause a lot of people I've spoken to say when they were young, I didn't know mathematics or mathematician was like a job, but you'd figured this out.


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[Assistant] 12 year old David, what were you imagining? Like what was the fantasy? Was it sitting in a room with a notepad and.


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[Assistant] Doing famous proofs or was it being in front of a class and teaching? What was the dream?


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[Assistant] But you were good at it too, you were like the top of the class getting the A's and.


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[Assistant] Did your father foster this was he was like, yeah, be a mathematician or was he were like, no, why don't you consider other options? Cause he knew the perils of academic life and was trying to steer the sun away.


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[Assistant] Did those difficulties he had during those years, like, you know, in this sort of wilderness and the difficulties that was caused, did that affect you in any way or you could be young and a bit blind? I was blind.


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[Assistant] So let's go to you. What happens to you? Are you excelling at high school?


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[Assistant] 16 at college, would you be like the baby of any group you were in? Was it hard being a 16 year old in college then or?


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[Assistant] What was university like? Were you good? Like were you again, like top of the class and excelling? Were you just a sort of a middle of the road or?


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[Assistant] And was this time at college, was this the formative time? Was this where you started seeing specializations and strengths and did a clear path emerge then? Is that when it?


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[Assistant] Okay. I'm sure it's burned into your memory a lot more than his.


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[Assistant] I mean, this seems like some kind of academic infidelity that he went away and you went and found a whole other topic, but.


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[Assistant] Did he allow this out of kind of like a graciousness or did he think, oh, this is good. I'm off the hook here. I've got to.


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[Assistant] This is a trait of David. He goes up on these tangents and then realizes, hang on, this is actually quite complicated, isn't it?


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[Assistant] Is it different today? Like, do you look at the people, you know, the young ones today doing PhDs and think, yeah, your life and your experiences are similar to mine or has the landscape changed at that level?


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[Assistant] Is the problem that there are now too many applicants or too few positions?


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[Assistant] So you end up at Brandeis and you're there for quite a while.


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[Assistant] And without melting my brain, what was your area of expertise?


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[Assistant] So mathematicians always, when they're being altruistic, tell me it doesn't matter if it's true or false. What matters is that we found the truth. That's all that matters. But deep down you want it to be true.


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[Assistant] I was looking on Wikipedia, like, you know, looking at things about you, and obviously there are certain conjectures and things with your name on them. I mean, I don't understand what they are, and I'm sure in a podcast we can't explain what they are, but what's that like, having something named like the Eisenbud thing?


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[Assistant] What's your proudest one? What's the one that, you know, they'll let you on your tombstone or something.


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[Assistant] Perhaps less than you'd like, because if your other responsibilities will come onto that shortly, I'm sure. But did you have a white whale? Did you have one that got away? Your Fermat's last theorem or your Riemann hypothesis or?


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[Assistant] Are they two types? Are there ones who just do what they can do and are there others that just are like a dog with a bone with one problem for their life?


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[Assistant] So you came to Berkeley, but you didn't come to Berkeley just to be like a math professor down in the math building and teach and research. You came with another role.


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[Assistant] Why would they have targeted you to run MSRI? What had you done?


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[Assistant] So when you come to MSRI, this is already an established Institute and it's doing its thing. What was your big thing? What, what did you want to be like your legacy or what was the change you wanted to bring? Or we just wanted to keep it ticking over.


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[Assistant] Were you lucky with mentors or are there people who just are amenable to having mentors? There are like more sponge-like, like, is it a skill of yours that you're willing to accept mentorship?


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[Assistant] I know you're still doing mathematics and I don't want to belittle that, but this does seem like a time where you've transitioned from being like a mathematician to more of an administrator and mathematical politician or for whatever the, you know, the lack of a better phrase is like.


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[Assistant] Did you enjoy that? Did you feel like, oh, it's time for a new challenge or is that just a natural progression for someone in their career that they have?


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[Assistant] I mean, also does the fact that you're in so many rooms with so many mathematical people give you a bit of an advantage too? Can you sometimes cherry pick someone who you think can, you can collaborate with on your own work?


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[Assistant] Give me your best explanation of what MSRI is. I've heard you give this explanation a few times and I have my own way of doing it. Give me your best one that you give to someone who's not a mathematician at all. So if you're in a cab and you're being driven up the hill to MSRI, for example, and the taxi driver says, what happens in this building? What's this all about? How do you explain it to them?


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[Assistant] All right. Okay. Well, that's disappointing then.


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[Assistant] Yes, I do. I always say it's this amazing building up on top of a mountain overlooking the San Francisco Bay. It's this beautiful, amazing place and it's like top gun for mathematics. And every semester they'll pick one or two.


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[Assistant] Top gun for mathematics that like, cause in the top gun where they train the pilots and that's always the pilots from all around, like the Navy all get picked, like the best dozen or so get to go to like San Diego just to immerse themselves in the best training and the best other pilots. And then they just go back to their aircraft carriers, like


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[Assistant] A few questions that potentially could have boring answers or could have interesting answers, I don't know. I'm curious about how the topics are picked. Like I don't understand any of the topics that come at these seminars. I read the titles. They bamboozle me, but it seems like it would be sought after to have your area.


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[Assistant] Get picked for a program at MSRI cause it's like, this is great if it's there, there's a chance I get to spend six months in, in Berkeley and have this great experience.


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[Assistant] When it's announced like the winner, is this like being told you're going to get to host the Olympics? Is this like a really big deal for that math community? It's like, oh, we've got, I can't believe it. We've got an MSRI slot or is it a bit more low key than that?


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[Assistant] And then how do you pick who gets to come and actually be on the program?


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[Assistant] So they've started off almost just like pitchers and or advocators. And now, now you actually have to run the thing.


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[Assistant] Is it oversubscribed? How many people want to come to how many you take?


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[Assistant] So how do you measure if the program is successful? Have you ever come to the end of the six months and they say like, Oh my goodness, we've just, we've got to prove it. We blew it. We blew it. We blew it or we did it. Like, you know, we've just solved the Riemann hypothesis. This is great. Like, how do you, what is success?


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[Assistant] You meet so many mathematicians and you know so many of them, it seems, I feel like you must know every mathematician in the world sometimes. And you also know some of the really good ones, like superstars. What makes someone


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[Assistant] A really good mathematician as opposed to, you know, an everyday grinding one, you know, those superstars, they have anything in common?


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[Assistant] But what does that look like, or am I not capable of understanding that? When you're at a chalkboard with someone who's like one of these superstars and they're just showing you something, what are they doing that the other man or woman isn't doing?


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[Assistant] Are there different styles of mathematician in the same way you can have like a different football or like some footballers have got a good at catching and others are good at that? Is there like other genres of mathematician?


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[Assistant] Do you get excited by like new proofs coming out? Like, do you follow like the literature and the news and is that like an exciting thing like sports results for you or?


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[Assistant] There are a few big like famous ones out there, aren't there? The Riemann hypothesis springs to mind for Mars last theorem was taken away from us. ABC is the big.


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[Assistant] So even though it's on the archive and publicly available, the fact that it's being published gives it more of a veneer of respectability.


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[Assistant] For what he'd kept quiet as sort of what just out of respect because it wasn't published.


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[Assistant] But these ABCs and Riemann hypothesis sort of things, they're like, they even excite you guys. Like they're not just like the ones for us outsiders, like throw us a bone. These are the ones that get all you guys buzzing as well.


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[Assistant] Get your mind around. What would you most like to see happen in mathematics? Like what's the one? Is it, I guess it's going to be Riemann hypothesis. So what's the one you'd love to see happen?


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[Assistant] Cliche that mathematicians are in their prime when they're young.


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[Assistant] For their 40 and they do all their best work and after that.


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[Assistant] But you know, I speak with you and you're, I think you're past 40 now.


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[Assistant] But you know, you're still super sharp and seem to know so much about mathematics and for a layman like me seem to know everything. Do you feel slower or less mathematically able than when you were like, you know, romping around in your prime?


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[Assistant] What do you want your main legacy to be? Is it all the stuff you've done like at MSRI and the things you've helped create and...


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[Assistant] Things you put in place there or is it like you know your theorems and your proofs and your mathematical body of work which means more to you.


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[Assistant] I saw on your Wikipedia page, I think that you'd had 31 PhD students. I'm not going to ask you to do it, but could you name them all when it gets to that number?


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[Assistant] What happened to your father and like, uh, what did he see of your career and things like that? Because right at the start you were talking about how much that interaction with him was very important to me.


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[Assistant] And your mother, like, did she get to read your books? She always wanted you to write.


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[Assistant] And twelve year old and then maybe even university David who had dreamed of being a mathematician.


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[Assistant] Do you think he would be disappointed or pleased or surprised by what it actually ended up being?


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[Assistant] Well that's it for today, can I just say a very quick thank you to Maya Sound for supporting this episode. Maya Sound's a great audio engineering company, also based in Berkeley. They're not here to say you anything, they just wanted to support the Numberphile podcast, and we're really grateful to them for doing it.


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[Assistant] I'm Brady Haran and I'll be back with another podcast very soon. Thanks so much for listening.


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[Assistant] Was it my imagination or did he frown in Zia's direction? Hmm.


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[Assistant] Possible romantic trouble between Miss Magic and my brother?


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[Assistant] I made a mental note to interrogate him next time we were alone.


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[Assistant] Zia went to a nearby cabinet. She brought out two ceramic cups, dipped them into the fountain, then offered them to us. Drink. I glanced at Carter. After you. It's only water, Zia assured me, but purified by contact with Toth. It will focus your mind.


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[Assistant] I didn't see how a statue could purify water.


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[Assistant] Then I remembered what Iskandar had said, how gods could inhabit anything. I took a drink.


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[Assistant] Immediately, I felt like I'd had a good strong cup of Grand's tea.


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[Assistant] My brain buzzed, my eyesight sharpened, I felt so hyperactive I almost didn't miss my chewing gum. Almost. Carter sipped from his cup. Wow. Now, the tattoos, Zia announced. Brilliant, I said. On your tongue, she added. Excuse me. Zia stuck out her tongue. Right in the middle was a blue hieroglyph. Nith-ith-nuth.


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[Assistant] She tried to say with her tongue out. Then she realized her mistake and stuck her tongue back in. I mean, this is mat. The symbol of order and harmony. It will help you speak magic clearly. One mistake with a spell. Let me guess. I said, we'll die.


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[Assistant] From her cabinet of horrors, Zia produced a fine-tipped paintbrush and a bowl of blue dye. It doesn't hurt, and it's not permanent. How does it taste? Carter wondered. Zia smiled. Stick out your tongue.


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[Assistant] To answer Carter's question, the tattoo tasted like burning car tires.


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[Assistant] I spit a blue gob of order and harmony into the fountain.


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[Assistant] Carter will be allowed to keep your father's magic implements, plus a new staff and one, generally speaking.


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[Assistant] The wand is for defense. The staff is for offense.


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[Assistant] Although, Kata, you may prefer to use your hepesh. Hepesh? The curved sword, Zia said, a favored weapon of the Pharaoh's guard. It can be used in combat magic. As for Sadie, you will need a full kit. How come he gets dad's kit? I complained. He is the eldest, she said, as if that explained everything. Typical.


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[Assistant] Inside was an ivory wand, a rod that I supposed turned into a star.


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[Assistant] Some paper, an ink set, a bit of twine, and a lovely chunk of wax. I was less than thrilled.


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[Assistant] What about a little wax man? I asked. I want a doughboy.


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[Assistant] If you mean a figurine, you must make one yourself. You will be taught how if you have the skill. We will determine your specialty later. Specialty? Carter asked. You mean like Nectar Nebo specialized in statues? Zia nodded.


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[Assistant] Nectar Nebo was extremely skilled in statuary magic.


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[Assistant] He could make shabdi so lifelike they could pass for human. No one has ever been greater at statuary, except perhaps Iskandar. But there are many other disciplines. Healer, amulet maker,


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[Assistant] Animal charmer, elementalist, combat magician, necromancer, diviner, I asked. Zia looked at me curiously. Yes, although that is quite rare. Why do you... I cleared my throat. So, how do we know our specialty? It will become clear soon enough, Zia promised. But a good magician knows a bit of everything, which is why we start with a basic test.


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[Assistant] The first Gnomes library was like Amos' but a hundred times bigger.


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[Assistant] Zia brought us to a wooden table and spread out a long blank papyrus scroll. She picked up a stylus and dipped it in ink.


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[Assistant] The Egyptian word sesh means scribe or writer, but it can also mean magician. This is because magic, at its most basic, turns words into reality. You will create a scroll. Using your own magic,


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[Assistant] You will send power into the words on paper. When spoken, the words will unleash the magic. She handed the stylus to Carter. I don't get it, he protested. A simple word, she suggested. It can be anything. In English? Zia curled her lip. If you must.


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[Assistant] Any language will work, but hieroglyphics are best.


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[Assistant] They are the language of creation, of magic, of math. You must be careful, however.


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[Assistant] Before she could explain, Carter drew a simple hieroglyph of a bird.


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[Assistant] It splattered Carter's head with some hieroglyphic droppings on its way out. I couldn't help laughing at Carter's expression. A beginner's mistake, Zia said, scowling at me to be quiet.


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[Assistant] If you use a symbol that stands for something alive, it is wise to write it only partially. Leave off a wing or the leg.


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[Assistant] Otherwise the magic you channel could make it come alive, and poop on its creator.


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[Assistant] Carter's side wiping off his hair with a bit of scrap papyrus.


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[Assistant] That's why our father's wax statue, Doughboy, has no legs, right? The same principle, Zia agreed. Now, try again. Carter stared at Zia's staff, which was covered in hieroglyphics.


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[Assistant] He picked the most obvious one and copied it on the papyrus, the symbol for fire. Uh oh, I thought.


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[Assistant] But the word did not come alive, which would have been rather exciting. It simply dissolved. Keep trying, Zia urged. Why am I so tired? Carter wondered. He definitely looked exhausted. His face was beaded with sweat. You're channeling magic from within, Zia said. For me, fire is easy.


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[Assistant] But it may not be the most natural type of magic for you. Try something else. Summon


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[Assistant] Chapter 9. Mr. Verloc was gone for ten days. When he came back, he did not seem any happier than before. He looked tired and sad.


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[Assistant] Throwing himself into a chair and dropping his bags on the floor. He said, here to Stevie, who was busy cleaning the shop window.


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[Assistant] The young man immediately smiled and ran to pick up Mr. Verlach's travel bags and put them away for him. Mr. Verlach was surprised by the boy's eagerness. Hearing her husband's entrance,


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[Assistant] Winnie appeared in the kitchen doorway, and without saying hello, offered him some breakfast.


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[Assistant] Mr. Verlach, by throwing both of his hands up in the air and letting them fall,


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[Assistant] acted as though his wife were the most troublesome person in the world however


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[Assistant] Mrs. Verloc told her husband all the news that there was to tell.


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[Assistant] Here she stopped, speaking for a moment, and her face turned slightly red. But Mr. Verlach did not notice.


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[Assistant] Mr. Verlach took his hat off and Stevie immediately got up from his chair and hung the hat on the wall in the next room. As he was coming back,


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[Assistant] He passed Mrs. Neal, who was working hard at cleaning the floor.


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[Assistant] Told Mr. Verlach that Mrs. Neel had been saying such things to Stevie all week. She knew how emotional he was.


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[Assistant] And that he would always give her the money he had in his pockets any time that he heard her complain about her difficulties.


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[Assistant] Then the sound of Stevie hitting his hand against the table in the next room could be heard.


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[Assistant] He was upset because he had nothing to give the poor woman.


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[Assistant] She did not like giving the woman extra money because she knew the woman would spend it getting drunk down the street.


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[Assistant] Later that day, as Mr. Verlach announced that he was going outside to take a walk


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[Assistant] Winnie suggested that he take her brother with him.


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[Assistant] But what if I lose him somehow? Mr. Verlach argued.


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[Assistant] Mr. Verlach was surprised by his wife's trust in Stevie to find his way back home. Perhaps the boy was more intelligent than he thought. All right. He can come with me. He finally agreed. Watching the two men walking down the street together, Winnie felt happy for a moment.


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[Assistant] In her eyes it looked as if it could be a tall, round father walking with his shorter and much thinner son.


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[Assistant] She began to feel proud of herself for having found such a good living situation for her brother. He would be safe here.


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[Assistant] Although it was not the ideal situation for herself, it was worth accepting for her brother.


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[Assistant] Over the next few days Winnie became even more pleased to see her husband taking greater interest in Stevie.


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[Assistant] He always invited him to join him on his walks about town. And on several occasions


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[Assistant] Winnie noticed Mr. Verloc studying the boy with his eyes. He was a different man, her husband.


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[Assistant] His moods were not as dark as before, and he no longer moved so slowly about the home.


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[Assistant] Instead of sitting sadly in the corner when he had nothing to do,


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[Assistant] He would walk about talking to himself in a rather serious voice. He seemed troubled about something.


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[Assistant] When Winnie tried asking him what was the matter, he would only stare at her with an open mouth.


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[Assistant] Mrs. Verlach then began to worry about the walks her brother was taking with her husband.


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[Assistant] She knew that Mr. Verlach almost always met one of his friends on the street, and that there would be revolutionary talk.


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[Assistant] Remembering how upset Stevie had become after the last meeting in their basement.


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[Assistant] She wondered if Stevie was hearing too many violent ideas. When she mentioned this to Mr. Burlach, he did not respond right away, but took down a package from a shelf in the shop. Gently laying it on the counter, he then said, I've got an idea.


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[Assistant] Why don't we send Stevie to stay out at McCallis' cottage?


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[Assistant] The old man is working on a book just outside of London. Winnie liked the idea because she liked Michaelis. Carl Jungt she hated.


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[Assistant] And Asipan, well, she had nothing to say about him.


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[Assistant] Mr. Verlach tied a string tightly around the package


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[Assistant] And then looked up into his wife's smiling face and said,


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[Assistant] The next day Stevie was happy to go with his brother-in-law


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[Assistant] and he felt proud to carry the package that was put into his hands


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[Assistant] He seemed almost embarrassed when his sister reminded him not to get dirty out in the countryside. He gave her a look that said, give me a chance to be an adult, will you?


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[Assistant] And she surprised and touched by this, apologized and wished him a wonderful trip.


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[Assistant] Winnie was left alone at home much longer than usual. Mr. Verlach came home later than expected but she did not think much of it.


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[Assistant] She did not raise her eyes from the sweater she was sewing.


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[Assistant] No, I didn't, her husband said quietly.


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[Assistant] Mr. Verlach walked past her and into the house, closing the door very loudly behind him. This did not trouble her either.


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[Assistant] Because she was used to being treated coldly in her home.


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[Assistant] She accepted this as just being her husband's way of doing things. She still thought of him as a very good man.


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[Assistant] Putting her sewing down and going into the kitchen to take Mr. Verloc a cup of tea, she stopped in the doorway.


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[Assistant] The sound of something shaking came to her ears, and she quickly lit the lamp to see what it was. She found her husband bent over the stove, his large body shaking with cold.


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[Assistant] To the bank, he answered in a low, painful voice.


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[Assistant] Mr. Verlach seemed to be using all of his strength to answer her. Check the money out. All the money? That's right.


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[Assistant] Beginning to prepare the kitchen table for a meal, she continued to ask questions.


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[Assistant] I'm an honest man, right? Mr. Verloc asked.


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[Assistant] You'll have to trust me. Thinking to herself,


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[Assistant] Then, after placing two plates on the dinner table, she began to speak again.


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[Assistant] Mr. Verlach held his face in his hands in front of the fire. He ignored his wife's suggestion that he eat. However, he sat down at the kitchen table. He looked terribly ill. His hair was going in all directions.


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[Assistant] But threw three cups of tea down his throat, one after another.


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[Assistant] Hearing this question, Mr. Verlach's eyes suddenly became wide. Going out? Yes, in a way. That was what he was thinking of doing. I'm thinking of leaving the country. I don't know where yet. Maybe France. Maybe America, he said.


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[Assistant] It was true that he did not seem his normal self at all.


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[Assistant] He remained quiet for a short time, but then he said, We have no choice. We must leave.


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[Assistant] She put her arms around his shoulders and kissed the top of his head, asking


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[Assistant] She let her lips rest on his forehead for quite a long time At that moment, the house seemed completely quiet


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[Assistant] The only sound that could be heard was of the gas feeding the fire in the lamp.


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[Assistant] Mr. Verlach took a strong hold of the seat of his chair until she finished with her kiss.


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[Assistant] He got up from his seat and walked over to the fireplace.


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[Assistant] From there, he stood watching his wife with a very sad and hopeless look. She, however, cleaned up around the kitchen without any worries.


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[Assistant] She said, changing her voice to a serious tone. And because her husband did not answer her, she found enough courage to go even further.


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[Assistant] I won't do that, and you know it. Mr. Vlock answered with rare emotion.


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[Assistant] Mrs. Verloch suddenly felt sorry about what she had said. It certainly was not true. She would have gone with him, of course. However,


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[Assistant] She disagreed so much with his plan that she felt the need to say something strong. In order to make things better she turned to her husband and said


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[Assistant] Yes, he answered, beginning to walk toward her with his arms stretched out.


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[Assistant] It was difficult to know whether he meant to hug her or kiss her.


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[Assistant] Then, the doorbell of the shop suddenly rang.


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[Assistant] He let his arms fall to his sides and then, without saying a word, slowly walked out of the kitchen. Mrs. Verloc then began to wash the dishes.


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[Assistant] Looking through the shop door and noticing that the customer was still inside. It seems that I'm going to have to go out tonight. Mr. Verloc answered.


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[Assistant] Winnie then immediately entered the shop and closed the door behind her.


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[Assistant] She wanted to see whom it was that was waiting there. Her face remained calm and friendly.


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[Assistant] His clothing and the hair on his face made it obvious that he was not an Englishman. He only answered her with a smile.