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[Assistant] Right, like what would you be ha- wha- like, okay, you wouldn't be happy, but like, what would- what would be palatable? I guess is the word that I could say.


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[Assistant] When Justin Tuck went to the Raiders, I was fine with that. I was like, all right, Tuck, you can, you can go on and, and do well. And same with JPP. I'm happy for him and his one hand.


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[Assistant] Which fans treat Tom Brady's Super Bowl win as like another one for them? And I'm like, no, that's not how it works. That is your ex-girlfriend being happy is what it is.


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[Assistant] Blew up. I was just like, it was gone. How heavy were you when you ran that 5-1? Like what did you, what were your stats?


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[Assistant] Like that is, that's pretty fat, like compared to other, like to a wide receiver or something, that's like, you know, slow. But a 5140 is, that's fast. That means you're pulling guard, baby.


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[Assistant] Uh, here, let's circle back to pre-draft and then I think we have about what, seven minutes left in the show?


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[Assistant] Was there, was there a scouting report on you, Uche?


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[Assistant] That bothered you or created a chip on your shoulder? Like I know some people that are athletes where they got a negative review or I think even Aaron Rodgers once read through all the bad scattering reports on him. Was there any of that action with you before you were, before you entered the league and did it ever create, um, you know, fire or motivation for you?


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[Assistant] Yeah, he could have been number one overall had that not happened. Alright, last.


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[Assistant] I, oh, go ahead, I've got one more question.


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[Assistant] Take us to the moment where you get drafted, like, what's going through your head when that happens? Like, are you elated? Are you just through it? Like, I mean, I don't want to leave the goodness here.


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[Assistant] There's no girl that looks like Gardner Minshew, I'll tell you that.


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[Assistant] Yeah, I just want to read one super chat from Graf Von Troll. I wonder who's going to meltdown in this year's draft. Probably me. Probably all of us. If the Giants do not take...


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[Assistant] Waddell. I think it's Waddell now. I think I said Devonta Smith, who I would be happy to take. I think it's gonna be Waddell, but uh, I'll be happy with that. And uh, for the punishment this week, I don't know who wins it, but I'm at 136.


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[Assistant] If you win this punishment, I think you should buy a Green Bay Packers Kirk Cousins jersey.


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[Assistant] So Tree and I have our own channel together. It's called The Dumpster Fire. I put a link in the chat earlier. Uh, we'll be going on at 8pm and we're gonna be having a good time over there.


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[Assistant] These plungers, so each, uh, increasing denomination of, uh, super chats gets a plunger stuck to my head.


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[Assistant] Oh, so it is Tom and he'll be getting a, uh, Aaron Rodgers vikings jersey. And I'm not sure that they'll be able to print.


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[Assistant] 2019, 2017, 16, 15, 4. Everyone thinks that cowboys are gonna win till they look at the score. Because they then run the ball with no timeouts. And everyone who watches them just has to shout, oh no.


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[Assistant] We begin in the top right. It is none other than the founder himself with a special message coming soon. Tom grassy. Thank you very much. Thank you.


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[Assistant] To his left, we have the godfather of Denver Bronco Sports.


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[Assistant] Indubitably, and on the bottom left, you have none other than the GOAT of Pittsburgh Sports. Okay, he's got you covered for NHL. He's got you covered for MLB. He's got you covered for everything Pittsburgh. Give it up, ladies and gentlemen, for urinating treats.


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[Assistant] Last stream. So this is how this works, guys. This is how clickbait sports work. We talk about sport!


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[Assistant] You donate to one of us and there is a winner. Whoever has the most money is actually the winner.


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[Assistant] But this is clickbait sports. And we are gonna talk about sports. And we're gonna lead.


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[Assistant] I'm going three interceptions on Dwayne Haskins. Our secondary has improved drastically. Even your second team.


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[Assistant] Second team, that's actually, I'm actually very excited about this game because we drafted so many cornerbacks that I'm going to be able to see a slew of them in this game. Like we're going to be able to see probably our first rounder, our second rounder rather, and some of these young guys.


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[Assistant] I actually do think, uh, three interceptions! That's my bold prediction for this Hall of Fame game. You think so? How many interceptions is Surtan gonna get?


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[Assistant] I have a question really for everyone here, chat included.


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[Assistant] Do you guys think that like football's been gone for that long? Like, is it like exciting to get back? Cause for me it's like, I am


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[Assistant] I think Dwight Haskins is gonna come in. First you take Sir Tan, then you trash- okay, alright. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.


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[Assistant] I think it's gotta be like a 24-17. 24-17. Just a 24-17. Who's gonna win? Who's gonna- Oh, we already know. Oh, okay. Hold on. You wanna see it one more time? Okay, I just- There it is.


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[Assistant] We're gonna keep this thing in the same area, football, still talking football, but we're gonna transition to the NFC East, where America's team resides, and where a funny rumor


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[Assistant] That's popped off, and I hope it's not true, and I want to get your guys' takes on this. Deshaun Watson, to the Eagles.


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[Assistant] Maybe, maybe not. Some people are saying there's legs to this. Some people are saying 0% chance. Doesn't matter.


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[Assistant] What are your guys' takes on this? Deshaun Watson, of Philadelphia Eagle Tree?


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[Assistant] What do the Texans think they have in Deshaun Watson and why do they think they have the leverage in this situation?


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[Assistant] Like, I was tagged in this on Twitter when I first saw this. Immediately, I was afraid.


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[Assistant] Okay, because, at first, at first, uhm, but it's just like, I don't want to Sean Watson in my division, because one,


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[Assistant] Well, all of these accusations, A. That's primary why I don't want him in my division. And secondary, he's a really good quarterback.


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[Assistant] He's a really good quarterback. I don't want to go up against that twice a week.


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[Assistant] But to me it's just very strange that the Texans think they can get anything of value like above


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[Assistant] Type one if you agree. I'd say so. And type two if you don't. Who are the other four? If Deshaun Watson's the top five QB. Rogers, Mahomes is up there too.


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[Assistant] That would be an interesting... We're in unchartered territory.


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[Assistant] Let's talk about hypocrisy for a second. How about we do that? Because I don't know if you guys remember


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[Assistant] And you're telling me 22 allegations? Nothing? Come on. Bro. Come on.


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[Assistant] Okay, I'm off, I'm off on a tan- I'm a little hot chat, I'm sorry. Some other stuff happened before. We're good though, we're good. We're gonna keep this moving though.


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[Assistant] I was watching, the first time I started watching, it was unwatchable basketball. It was terrible when I started watching this game. It was disgusting. I don't know what we were doing in the first quarter.


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[Assistant] Uh, second quarter comes around, but then the third quarter, we turn it on. I don't know what happened. Someone flipped a switch. We literally outscored them by like 39 points. It wasn't, it wasn't close and we ran away with it. And now, USA will take on France for the gold.


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[Assistant] The French are playing for the gold? That's impressive. Fornier.


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[Assistant] Okay, we lost to France earlier. We can write that wrong. And not only that, we can shut up all these people.


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[Assistant] Oh, America's not that good at basketball anymore.


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[Assistant] The world's catching up. The world's caught up. America is no longer the superpower in basketball. I disagree.


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[Assistant] You guys wanna watch it? It's 1030pm tomorrow night. Uh, USA vs France, gold medal round. Brandon, we're gonna transition over to you.


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[Assistant] So speaking of that, before you ask us, let me ask you.


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[Assistant] In your brain, when you think of Peyton Manning, do you think of him as a cult or as a bronco?


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[Assistant] I'm just thinking of Demarcus Ware. So our connection there for Demarcus Ware. I'm thinking if Demarcus Ware comes up and it's his time to get in the Hall of Fame. Do people think of Demarcus Ware as a cowboy or a bronco? Cause they better think of him as a cowboy. This man is a cow. He's been like two seasons with the bronco. He's a cowboy.


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[Assistant] Yes, it is a name recognition type of event. It's a popularity contest really. So at the end of the day, are they going to remember Amari Cooper who's more introverted or are they going to remember


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[Assistant] Zeke who's sort of the face of the franchise right after Dak. So.


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[Assistant] I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go Zeke, especially with, I think, the next two to three seasons barring injuries on our lines. He's gonna have a solid performance with our line.


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[Assistant] Well, I don't think the fault that he had last year was anything to do with him. I don't think any running back running behind our line would have had a good season. I think he was in shape last year too. I just think our line was decimated and what can you do?


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[Assistant] Okay, so we're gonna transition now to communism. The floor is yours. Any topic you want to talk about?


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[Assistant] The craziest part of that whole thing was people believed it was real. Like adults!


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[Assistant] He said, he took one look at the facility. He said, uh, nope, I'm good on that. Y'all want me to do what?


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[Assistant] First and foremost, shout out to Joe Looney. I don't know if you guys know about Joe Looney, he's not a very heralded player in the NFL, but this guy was like the class clown of the team. Like he was the guy, when you see pictures of Zeke being fat, that was Joe Looney in the picture, like playing around. He's a very playful guy.


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[Assistant] He got to the New York Giants and said, I'm the New Jersey Giants, and he said, I'm not, I'm a grown man.


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[Assistant] That's preseason. Yep, that's preseason, that's preseason, that's when you bond, that's when you know, look.


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[Assistant] I might not should mess with him and I know what he can do now and he has my back. It's just like a, where the brotherhood is formed. I feel.


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[Assistant] We have a little bit of time left, so I just want to get in one, a couple more topics, see, see your guys opinions on it before we do the roundup of all the votes and put the timer on. Carson Wentz!


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[Assistant] Uh, let's talk about Carson, shall we?


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[Assistant] I'm a doctor, week one and week eight. Tree, what are we thinking? Carson wins.


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[Assistant] What should the Colts do now though? You're the GM of the Colts. Carson's injured.


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[Assistant] And then, people are saying he's a bust in the NFL. Now he's your starting quarterback.


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[Assistant] Man, I, I don't know which quarterback I saw that was being floated, but I was like, hm.


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[Assistant] If you want to make a run at it this year, and if you're the 49ers, why do you have Garoppolo and not getting some return on him? Would you make a trade if you're the 49ers?


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[Assistant] Did you guys see James Winston's interview?


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[Assistant] He's like apparently completely transformed into a new individual. And did you also see Jameis Winston get hitsticked by...


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[Assistant] Yeah, I know what you're talking about. Alright guys, so we are going to now add up all of our totals and crown a winner who actually will be the loser


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[Assistant] But before we do that, we're all gonna go around and tell you what we have coming out.


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[Assistant] On YouTube this week or the following week. Tree, what is going on? What is going down this week?


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[Assistant] Can we get a capital T in the chat right now? Tomunism coming through with, was that a half a, uh,


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[Assistant] It's like intercut. It's intercut. You'll have to tune in at 8pm ESTUDIOYTUBE.COM slash SCUDAMARGOOTER to find out. Uh, guys!


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[Assistant] That's gonna do it for clickbait sports this week, but we're gonna add up everything and come up with a punishment. Seemingly.


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[Assistant] So, no more donations shall count. After this, I'll start. We had two Prime subscriptions. Three Prime subscriptions. That's $15 over here. Let's go, Team Agrooter, coming through with $15. Erna, what's it looking like over there?


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[Assistant] We, I feel like we need to come up, we have Tommyanism. We have democracy. We have scutocracy.


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[Assistant] We'll, we'll, we'll figure it out. But chat, we need your help right now, chat. We need to come up with a fair punishment for half a stack for that good split.


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[Assistant] Help us find an alternative. Help us find something!


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[Assistant] Okay, how about this? How about this? I got it. Guys, I got it. This is the punishment. We gotta come up with three words that he must use in his song. You know how they do that? Ah, yes. You know what I'm talking about?


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[Assistant] We gotta come up with three words for him to use and he has to incorporate all three of the words that we come up with.


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[Assistant] Inside of the Tom Brady appreciation song. You have to use whatever words Tom, Tree, and myself come up with.


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[Assistant] Inside of the Tom Brady appreciation song. Is that fair?


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[Assistant] Okay. I'm gonna have to pay her for a little bit over time. Tom, what's your word?


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[Assistant] Yeah, so Five Points has the option to add in a word of his choice as well. Guys, that is gonna do it for today's stream. This has been Clickbait Sports, another episode. We'll see you back next Thursday, 5pm EST.


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[Assistant] My channel is my name, as you see at the bottom of my, uh, little box here, Uche Wenneri. Look that up, that'll be me. I go by the observant lineman as well, so if you'd like to call me that, you can call me, uh, O-Line, you can just say O-Line, I'll answer.


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[Assistant] You did, you did. But the delay? The delay. But no, dude, I love your channel. I laugh at your videos every week during the season.


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[Assistant] Oh, I appreciate you, man. All you guys, all you guys, I watch y'all's channels. So it's like, it's kind of cool to be on, on stream with y'all because I've been watching y'all since before y'all knew who I was, so.


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[Assistant] So, uh, I am originally from Dallas, Texas. I went to Purdue, uh, and played there at Purdue from 2002 to 2006. Got drafted to Jacksonville in 2007. 5th round, pick 149. That would be today, actually. I got a tattoo that actually has that date. Uh, but,


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[Assistant] Uh, played seven years in Jacksonville with the Jaguars. Uh, you know, had, had, had some good seasons there, had some ugly seasons there, but, uh, great experience nonetheless. And then I was with the Cowboys, uh, going into my eighth year. Uh, you know, kind of a nightmare story there, but, I mean, the Cowboys have been a nightmare for a while now. Uh,


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[Assistant] You know, had a, had a good career, had a, had a, had, you know, was living the dream, you know? Uhm, so, uh, definitely.


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[Assistant] Avid, avid football fan, of course. Uh, keep up with everything as much as I can.


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[Assistant] Uh, and usually it's through you guys. Through coming to you guys' channels and watching what you guys are talking about.


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[Assistant] Uh, you know, that's good sports. Love his little quirkiness, his little quirky videos. Uh, got a real charm to it. Uh, obviously I've done, I've done videos with, uh, tree and with, uh, five points. So, uh, definitely got a lot of love for you guys, but that was my career, you know, and, uh, so you won't hear much about me because of where I played, but,


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[Assistant] Interesting stat for you guys, 2009-2010 season, I was...


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[Assistant] So, for me, I went to the Combine. I got invited to the Combine.


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[Assistant] I have to know this. Uh, I did 27 on the bench, 225.


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[Assistant] Okay. So, and that was like, I pulled my quad with five yards to go. So the last like two, the last two steps were like a leap because like it like,


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[Assistant] I mean, and the crazy thing was two days before the combine, I was working out in Houston with, uh,


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[Assistant] So I didn't do anything else. That was the only thing I did. I didn't work out of my pro day. Uh, so, you know, I still got drafted, which was like,


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[Assistant] Uh, I was the third ranked guard in that draft in 2007 and it was, uh, Ben Grubbs and Justin Blaylock who were ahead of me.


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[Assistant] I don't remember, I'm not great with names, but I would, if I was, if I was going to pick a position, I would say they definitely, uh, should be looking to pick a receiver to give the, to compliment, uh, Trevor Lawrence, somebody that,


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[Assistant] Uh, can help kind of bolster that, that, that, uh, that's that core wide receiver group because, uh, I mean, they've got.


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[Assistant] He said, man, I'll be honest with you, people thought I was good. Black men was way better than me. And I was like.


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[Assistant] The dude was great, man, and, you know, unfortunately for him...


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[Assistant] Uh, you know, he had issues with alcohol and that really, I mean, that was a situation that, you know, I felt bad for him because


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[Assistant] He was a young kid. I talked to him. Maurice talked to him. We all kind of were like, look, man, you know, you gotta, you gotta tighten up.


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[Assistant] Uh, but we also kind of felt like the Jaguars should have saw that this guy needs help. You know, get this guy help, have, like, bring somebody in who can, he can, who can live with him, who can kind of, like,


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[Assistant] Mentor him. I mean, you're gonna have to kind of babysit this guy for a few years until he kind of grows up mentally.


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[Assistant] And you know, is able to kind of accept and be able to handle the pressure and the responsibility of being in the NFL. Uhm, you know, the thing about being in the NFL is that now you have all the time in the world to do whatever you want.


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[Assistant] You know, you practice in the morning, you go, you go into work at six in the morning, you come out around five p.m., six p.m., uh, but, you know, that's a regular work day, but you have free time other than that. You find yourself, you know, with time to do whatever you want. You have the money to do whatever you want, you have the time to do whatever you want.


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[Assistant] Uh, and, uh, for a guy like that, I mean, I had received calls, I received calls from guys who I knew in Jacksonville who were like,


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[Assistant] Oh yeah, yeah, absolutely. Uh, so my situation was a little different coming out of college because


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[Assistant] The year I came out was the year that Pac-Man Jones was having all that stuff go on in Vegas and the NFL. And that was Roger Goodell's first year as commissioner. So they were kind of on this whole.


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[Assistant] You know, if a guy has any off the field issues, that's gonna be like a strike. That's gonna be something that's gonna pull down their stock. They're gonna lose like, you know, their, their viability as a player almost, right? So.


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[Assistant] I only played two years at Purdue of my, of the time I was there as a starter. Uh, I got suspended my junior year from the, from the university because I got in a fight with a teammate in the summertime. Got in a fight with another offensive lineman who was bigger than me. You know, he, long story short, he was mad that I was


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[Assistant] Basically, as a, as an upperclassman telling, you know, telling them to stop dragging butt and...


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[Assistant] You know, work harder and he approached me after the workout, put his hands around my neck.


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[Assistant] I pushed him to like, you know, cause he was in my face. And I pushed him and then it was like in slow motion where he's like, uuuh, and he grabbed me.


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[Assistant] And I'm like thinking to myself while I'm leaning back, I'm like, is he really trying to choke me out right now? Like what's going on? And so I was just, you know, my instincts were just straight.


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[Assistant] And you know, I thought nothing of it because he got off of me and then he, you know, he's just like, man, you're, he started cussing me out a little bit. Then he walked off. My online coach called me like later that day and he's like, okay, first off, did you break your hand? I'm like, break my hand. Why would I break my hand? Well, we don't want to have to get surgery on it before it started the season, but you sure did break that boy's jaw. Both sides. You Gino Smith.


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[Assistant] So I got suspended. So when I went to the combine, like I, like before the combine, I sat down with my agent and we literally like,


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[Assistant] Created the outline of how I tell this story because it's a long story. Like I could do a 30 minute video on just everything that happened Leading up to it because the university really pulled one


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[Assistant] Uh, and how they handled it because they, they, they,


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[Assistant] They knew that I was defending myself. The police investigated it because his parents tried to press charges. And the police...


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[Assistant] The police even were like, there's nothing to charge. He was def- every witness we talked to said that he was defending himself.


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[Assistant] And I had, and I literally, it was the same thing. I wasn't even thinking when I was telling the story. It was just me just telling it. And uh,


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[Assistant] And I, the first draft report that I looked at after the combine was from ESPN, was from, uh, Todd McShay, I think it was. Todd McShay. They said,


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[Assistant] Initially, I was a second to third round pick, and they said,


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[Assistant] I was actually, I was at home in Texas with my family and uh, it's funny because this was uh, it was weird how this happened. I was thinking that I was going to Atlanta.


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[Assistant] Because the Falcons and the Chiefs were the only teams that were calling me like daily the week of the draft. So I'm like, okay, one of those. My agent.


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[Assistant] On the, on the first day was like, oh, the bears, they just called me. They said, they're, they're looking at you.


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[Assistant] But, uh, you know, the next day, because I ended up going on second day, the Falcons were up, and I'm like, okay, this might be it. And...


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[Assistant] My phone rings and it's the Jaguars and they're like, yeah, we just traded up three. We traded three picks to move up to get you. And I'm like, that's pretty cool.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And my house erupts, right? Cause I put them on speakerphone, they're like, you ready to be a Jaguar? I'm like, yeah, I'm ready to be a Jaguar.


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[Assistant] And the house erupts and my sister, my brothers, everybody's just jumping around. My dad, you know, my parents are African. So it's like, yes! Yes! In defense! In defense!


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[Assistant] Like a pipe had like, burst, literally. And my sister was like, let's make it rain on them all, let's make it rain.


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[Assistant] I literally, I will literally just tell the people of Jacksonville, I told you so.


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[Assistant] It's not a good situation because you still have to build the team. You still got a team to build and he's only got what? I mean, realistically we can say Aaron Rodgers has like maybe four years at playing at this high level he's playing at right now. I mean, I'd give him four more years of that potentially. What just happened? Stop. But I mean, if we're being real here, uh,


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[Assistant] I wonder if Houston, at all, might be thinking about hitting up Green Bay, like, hey, uh,


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[Assistant] A lot of people already know what that first pick is going to be. That's going to be Trevor Lawrence. Of course, if it's not, then just throw the whole dang team away.


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[Assistant] Uh, after Trevor Lawrence, I actually believe, like I said before, we're talking about wide receivers.


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[Assistant] With that second pick and the first, I honestly believe they should go with my Boilermaker brethren, Rondale Moore at Whiteout. I think that a lot of people are sleeping on that guy. He played with a Boilermaker team that was...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Pretty discombobulated, his last season playing during the season and he was dealing with some injuries, but that's an all-American, you know, before that, he was the top rated, top rated receiver in the NCAA. So I think that that's a guy who people are sleeping on and it would be a great fit.


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[Assistant] Uh, in Jacksonville, a slot wide out, somebody who can get in the middle of the field quick, uh, and can, and can break, uh, long runs, uh, after he catches the ball. Yeah, that is what you want.


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[Assistant] Uh, they can watch me on my YouTube channel, Uche Wenneri. Uh, also I might be doing like the simul-, the simul-, simultaneous stream, uh, on my Twitch as well. I got a Twitch stream-, I got a Twitch channel called the AthGeek.


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[Assistant] Uh, that is like a play on the athlete geek. So, uh, if you look that up on Twitch, you'll find me on there as well.


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[Assistant] I'll be starting my stream tonight at, uh, when the draft starts at 8pm Eastern.


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[Assistant] Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to yet another edition, somehow we're still allowed to stream on YouTube, of Clickbait Sports.


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[Assistant] That's right, I'm your host, I guess, for this evening, because we decided that three minutes ago, Tom Grossi, and, uh, hey!


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[Assistant] That was rigged. That's gonna be a problem, but it's okay, it's alright, we're gonna be good, and then...


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[Assistant] There we go, there we go, alright, there we go.


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[Assistant] Hangin' out in his, uh, his finest over here.


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[Assistant] Unfortunately, not in a Shakespearean costume, we have Mr. Five Point Mids.


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[Assistant] The man who's hoping the Dallas Cowboys...


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[Assistant] As we, uh, try to lobby for our presidential bids here, it seems that, uh, my stream has already been hijacked by a couple of, uh, high donos.


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[Assistant] Excuse me. That's why. Excuse me. Well, I think that the perception of this is all wrong. It's all wrong. No, it's not. It's not. It's all wrong. Because, see, your fans adore you. They love you.


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[Assistant] I just gave them more of you. That's it. Listen, you know, you know this economy, you know, it's starting to come back, but I wanted to make sure you got those donos. Keep the lights on. I am a humanitarian.


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[Assistant] But yea, if this is your first episode of Clickbait Sports, I'm so sorry. Uh, but the way that it works is we are streaming on our individual channels and scooters of hiding in Exodus over in Tishland. And uh, did you just get 500?


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[Assistant] Yes! Alright, sorry. Anyway, so the creator that gets the most amount of money donated to them in the super chats, it gets tallied up at the very end, which by the way, we're gonna do like a, we're gonna have a cutoff.


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[Assistant] Today. Thank you Justin. Love you. Love you buddy. Tommy Nism forever. And the winner who gets the most donos loses and we all pick their punishment. Urinating Tree lost last week.


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[Assistant] By the way, urinating tree is still the target since uh, he wanted to and Dustin donated, so just saying, just saying. Anyway, but anyway, so, urinating tree lost, uh, last week, this way, and uh, he had to listen to the entirety of the Antonio Brown, uh, album, which I will say, himeth thee.


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[Assistant] If it is, if it wasn't written in the Geneva convention before this, it is now, cause that was horrific.


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[Assistant] The thing is, it's like, I don't know how to top that, like,


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[Assistant] That's gonna be, like, I heard Isaiah Wilson has a rap album. Maybe I'll, I'll take the gander at that.


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[Assistant] Yeah, let's, uh, anyway, let's transition this into a less controversial topic, like vaccines. So, uh, so, uh,


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[Assistant] Because I am a wealth of knowledge, uh, when it comes to the basketball, uh, I know that a, an NBA player got, uh, the COVIDs last week, right?


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[Assistant] So here's the thing. Here's what we're going to talk about today. And I feel like this was a good topic because it's been popping up in the news even before the Sean Paul incidents. I know I said Trump.


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[Assistant] It's been, it's been an issue before cause you had like Sam Darnold come out, right? And I think was it with the Washington football team, they were going to bring in like experts and they were just like, no, like Montez Sweat was like, I want to do my own research. I want to get informed. And they're like, well, that's why the experts.


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[Assistant] You know, so I thought that this would be an interesting topic to potentially tackle today on the show about should players be mandatory, like should they, should they have to get vaccinated? Should it be up to the choice? Should it be up to individual teams? Should it be an NFL policy as a private corporation? What are we thinking boys?


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[Assistant] I'm curious of just why the MLB- I'm sorry, did they allow it in the first place? No!


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[Assistant] They were just like, oh yeah, it hit him, right? They couldn't like look at intention or if he leaned.


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[Assistant] Like it seems to, and this is for a pure outsider, like I used to watch baseball a bit, but like now, like it just loses my interest. And I don't fault anybody for liking it, but I think that-


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[Assistant] But I feel like with stuff like that, like people, this is the stuff like that gets out about baseball, right? It's like, um, it's not knowing what they're doing. It's like cheating like with the Astros. It's the sticky stuff. Like that's the kind of stuff that reaches like the casual or not really participating in baseball watching fan. And I feel like that just does worse for the game.


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[Assistant] But even if you had a grand slam though, right? And then it's like the unwritten rules thing, which was from a few weeks ago, that was like bad. I'm like, that's the stupidest crap I've ever heard of in my life.


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[Assistant] I was about to literally bring that up too. Yeah, yeah, the uh, the MVP edition, which doesn't feature the MVP.


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[Assistant] I mean, in 2010, they had, what, Paul Amalu and the Cardinals. Larry Fitzgerald. Larry Fitzgerald on it, cause that was actually a good Madden. Uhm, like they had two on it, so maybe that's what he's referring to? I mean, listen, I think bring back the fan voting and make someone, you know, like, Case Cookus, be the front. Oh yeaah.


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[Assistant] I, Gardner Minshew would win like every single year. Though the fact that, you know what, listen, I know we're talking about all this stuff and it's kind of important, but he shaved off his mullet.


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[Assistant] It's gonna be so great. And again, like extra, extra large.


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[Assistant] What is it? Ryan Fitzpatrick, Washington football team jersey, and it has to be like at least four sizes too big. And you have to wear it.


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[Assistant] So I've been following some Packers news, and if you guys don't know, we have about 15 QBs signed to the active roster right now, just because we don't, uh, don't know about one main QB, if he's coming back. So, uh, Jordan Love.


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[Assistant] Uhm, the best was the overreactions to both days because there was one practice where like Jordan Love was like really bad and he was like throwing an interception and like Eric Stokes picked him off and


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[Assistant] Like practice? No. Like half the time, like you're not in pads? No. Like it, it, it really truly doesn't matter. It's good reps for them, don't get me wrong, but like, yeah, I just think the overreaction to Jordan Love has been phenomenal and I can't wait to go through another few months of this.


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[Assistant] Yeah, yeah. Who is going to pick up Case Cookus next in this group? I pray that it's the Green Bay Packers. I pray. Because we need six QBs to the active roster right now.


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[Assistant] Which, by the way, speaking of football, did you see they put in a bid to, uh, potentially, uh, new stadium? Cause, you know, they're just like, oh yeah. No, it's okay. We're going to start over with a new stadium and new QB. It'll be different this time.


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[Assistant] They've had an hour. No, do it like a minute. Do it like a minute. Yeah, cause I feel like, no, because if you're gonna do the buzzer beater, then like, you know, you'd be like, I gotta type it in and I gotta like, you know, I'm just saying. I'm just saying. I'm just saying. Tree understands. You want a minute?


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[Assistant] Like, you know, not even a minute, just like 30 seconds. Like 30 seconds is fine, cut the difference, and we can go around and talk about what we're gonna do in those 30.


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[Assistant] Uh huh. So I'm sorry, this whole three punishment thing, like come on now. Like come on. Like come on.


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[Assistant] Okay, so I just want to say, on the bottom it says, mascot is a special- because it's a mascot costume.


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[Assistant] Brandon, I need you to tell the people what we are doing today. This is history in the making. Like, you guys aren't ready for what is about to happen. Because we aren't either.


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[Assistant] Type 2 if you're not excited for some reason and type 3 if you're just here so you won't get fined.


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[Assistant] Why don't we start with chat? Who should be the number one pick chat? Let us know before we come to a consensus. I think we all know.


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[Assistant] You guys think the contract's already negotiated? You guys think that? I don't think they can do that anymore.


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[Assistant] If we don't put Trevor Lawrence one right now, we got 31 picks to get through.


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[Assistant] It's Trevor Lawrence number one, now on the clock.


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[Assistant] What are we thinking, Chad? Number three, 49ers on the clock. Who do we have going to the 49ers?


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[Assistant] You have five points with a vote for Justin Fields. We got Tom with a vote for Justin Fields.


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[Assistant] Tree, I actually agree with you here. So that's gonna be my vote to Mack Jones. So we got two for Mack Jones, two for Justin Fields. Brandon, you're gonna have to change your vote and come with one of us. Who's it gonna be?


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[Assistant] I don't think Kyle Pitts is going to the Falcon. You just want him to go to the Cowboys, you homer. I'm just saying. I think, and everything I've seen mocked also has Kyle Pitts going 8 right before the Cowboys pick, which is even more devastating for me. Uh, going 8 to the...


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[Assistant] Panthers. Yeah, so that's, all of them I've seen, that's where Kyle Pitts goes. He goes 8. And that actually would be the ultimate despair. Here's my question.


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[Assistant] The, the mods I've been looking at have been...


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[Assistant] Didn't take Kyle Pitts. I think they could have also potentially taken Peney Sewell at that, that spot. They could, yea. Yea, that's fair. Let's just shore up that.


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[Assistant] They need firepower. If Kyle Pitts might have still been around, maybe this is an opportunity for someone like Kyle Pitts to go here.


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[Assistant] But in this universities off the board, they need some firepower for whoever is going to be quarterbacking that team.


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[Assistant] 166 pounds. Ain't nothing wrong with that.


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[Assistant] The best receivers in the league are not 166 pounds.


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[Assistant] I will be upset no matter any player the Giants take.


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[Assistant] Like, I'm hoping somehow a scandal breaks out and you guys lose your draft pigs.


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[Assistant] Micah Parsons? I like Micah Parsons though. I like Micah Parsons here. I still think this could be a QB though. This could be like, this could be where it gets freaky when the actual draft happens.


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[Assistant] Bro, this one's hard because a lot of the mocks also had Micah Parsons going here as well.


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[Assistant] As well as Kyle Pitts. So I'm thinking...


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[Assistant] That's good. Brandon Perna, what is your vote? My vote is Slater, AC. Oh yeaah. 1-1-1. Tom, did you vote?


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[Assistant] Okay, two for Slater. Five points. Are we making a tie or are we going?


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[Assistant] Are we gonna have to have the chat vote or are you deciding it right here?


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[Assistant] And Rashawn Slater, chat, we need your help! Wait, who else said waddle?


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[Assistant] So you would be okay with taking Justin Fields right here, Brandon Perna? Oh, yeaah. So then what happened with, what happened with Drew Locke?


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[Assistant] Yeah, you need more wide receivers. You need a fourth wide receiver, baby. Listen, in every article that I've read on the Cowboys and the Drafts,


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[Assistant] It comes down to about three to four players. Okay. One's already gone. You already know Kyle Pitts. My, my favorite. He's gone.


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[Assistant] He's not a smaller cornerback either, so he can jam you out the line. You're getting jammed up. A welcome addition.


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[Assistant] If you don't put Patrick Surtain as the pig, right now! Okay, okay!


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[Assistant] Rashaun Slater, if Panay Sewell is there, we take him. I don't think Panay Sewell is gonna be there. I don't think Kyle Pitts is gonna be there. Rashaun Slater, I don't know if we take him that high.


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[Assistant] 100% we take Patrick Sertan if he's there at 10. Because in any other world, Patrick Sertan is not there.


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[Assistant] Uhm, honestly, I think they take whatever cornerback we don't take. We being the Dallas Cowboys, America's team. And I think they draft, uh, JC Horn here.


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[Assistant] Alright Scooter, break our tie. J.C. Horne, in this situation. I don't even think he lost.


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[Assistant] That's what I was, that's what I was looking at. Like Trey Lance is sitting on the board.


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[Assistant] Here in hopes that someone trades for them. And if not, you just, Hey, we got our quarterback of the future waiting.


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[Assistant] John Elway is the only one I can think of. Uh, Eli Manning and...


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[Assistant] Yeah, that's what I'm saying. You take, that could, that could be what happens right here. Trey Lance is taken.


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[Assistant] Just because they KNOW the Patriots want Trey Lance, they KNOW they're gonna give up SOMETHING. So instead of-


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[Assistant] And I think Asante is a late first round pick. Asante Samuel, uh, the second. I think it's too high.


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[Assistant] Even, uh, when they drafted the running back, Josh Jacobs, that was not like, some people were throwing off with that pick.


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[Assistant] Just for the people, show the people who is still out there.


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[Assistant] Chat, we need some help with this one. Who is Washington selecting at number 19? Because with the available people, I don't know. I'm not sure.


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[Assistant] He went to Florida, so I watched him all throughout his career.


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[Assistant] This is the first ever clickbait sports mock draft. Welcome. My name is Scooter McGruder. I do this with four other guys every Thursday, 5pm Eastern, day stream live on their YouTubes, 5 point vids, urinating tree, that good sports. Uh, Tom Grassi, is that your channel name?


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[Assistant] Let's go up to the top and show everyone the draft thus far. And also we'll explain the rules if this is your first time here and you're not aware of what clickbait sports is. Essentially, we all do this once a week.


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[Assistant] And the winner, whoever gets donated the most money, then has to use that money and buy something we all collectively decide. Or chat decides. So.


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[Assistant] The loser for last week was that good sports, Brandon Perna. That is why he is in a women's Tom Brady.


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[Assistant] Honestly, Tony here could be, I think this is where Tony goes. Like he goes in this late first round, Florida.


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[Assistant] Alvin Kamara? Kamara? Yeah, so Kamara, uhm, he is basically, he is, uh, Tony, he is Tony, so they can't take another Tony. That's the role that he plays. I don't think they go receiver Tony, at least.


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[Assistant] I will always defer to Tom. My pick also is Javon Hall.


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[Assistant] He's the best one. He's the best safety. I don't know if you take another safety in the first round.


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[Assistant] Who should the Super Bowl winners take? Let us know.


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[Assistant] I can do that. I mean I can tweet that. I got it. Just put it in like group chat.


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[Assistant] Leave a comment, how do you like our mantra? 23,000 people. That's insane.


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[Assistant] Between you guys and these four guys, I need you to decide a punishment for me.


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[Assistant] If you're just now joining, you are reaching the tail end of our first ever clickbait sports mock draft. We do this every Thursday, 5 PM Eastern. They stream on all of their YouTube channels. I stream on Twitch.


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[Assistant] At the conclusion of every show, there is a winner. The winner is whoever got donated the most money. That winner. Then...


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[Assistant] Must use that money to buy something, the chat, and these four decide. That's what we're doing right now, right before we end it. So come up with something. Right now we've got a Jason Garrett jersey.


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[Assistant] Owens, Eagles, Jersey, see it's not that bad cause it's a real Owens, then played for the Cowboys. So.


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[Assistant] They said an Aaron Gordon Nuggets jersey. So I'm a magic fan!


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[Assistant] How about this shirt right here? Can I send you guys links?


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[Assistant] You're an aiding tree. Yeah, unfortunately that bald guy decided it would be a good idea. Oh no, I have to be punished by wearing an ARod jersey. I know what I'm doing. Oh, here's a vacation. It just popped out of nowhere. Yeah, exactly. Good job. Five points. I hope you're watching you bald. I can't say.


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[Assistant] And that too makes 25 million dollars. That's all you need to know.


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[Assistant] He does not have, he doesn't just have to do the A-Rod jersey, he has to do an essay, a two minute diatribe about how Alex Rodriguez is the greatest player of his generation.


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[Assistant] I think we're all in agreeance. We want five points to suffer. Incredible. Yeah, absolutely.


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[Assistant] They are the dumpster fire. Yes, they are. It's an epitome of a dumpster fire. It's been a dumpster fire. We've been running it for four years. All we do is just take massive dumps on each other. That's all we do. That is literally all we do.


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[Assistant] Do not lie to yourself. This is clean compared to some of the crap we're doing. I'm trying to control myself because I want to swear like a sailor right now, but I can't because I'm trying to calm it down, make it easy, try and, you know, not have to rely on swearing. There's a sense of humor, but it's, it's hard. It's very hard.


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[Assistant] Let me set my timer here for a second. Boys and girls, the three of you that are watching, I wanted to say thank you all.


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[Assistant] For witnessing my horrible masochism towards life. But I know of one thing that gives me pause that gives me hope about all things eternal. One day we will be free from this mortal coil like Sam Darnold is from the New York Jets.


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[Assistant] Bask in it. Look at all the horrors that Sam Darnold has experienced as a New York Jet. Mononucleosis, injuries, Adam Gase having to see ghosts on the football field. You know what he needed? He needed a change of scenery. And we all knew everyone was going to say, oh, Sam Darnold is going to be the quarterback. No, he's not.


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[Assistant] Just stop lying to yourselves. And Carolina, I think they made a good decision here. Instead of having to, you know, move up.


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[Assistant] They have to trade only, let me look this up here, it's only for a 2022 second, 2022 fourth, and a 2021 sixth. I think that's a good return for Sam Darnold, especially on a speculative deal. And remember the last guy who was freed from Adam Gase? His name was Ryan Tannehill. And Ryan Tannehill turned out to be really, really, really good.


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[Assistant] And if Sam Darnold can keep the same thing, because there are times where he's shown some incredible flashes while responding with some of the dumbest thrones I have ever seen, if you can limit that under the guidance of Matt Ruhl, I think he may be okay. So, freedom is the most cherished thing.


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[Assistant] God bless America, I have 20 more seconds left. I don't know how to burn this because I felt like it was perfect until now. Scooter, you have a really nice haircut. Brandon, you still look like Zach Galifianakis. And Tom Grassi, you better be able to drink beer in the next couple weeks. Five points. You are bald. You are incredibly bald. Stop it. Oh, we're done? Good. Two minutes.


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[Assistant] What was yours, Steve? I think it was either the Washington Reeskins.


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[Assistant] I guess it's just like, hey, look, you get rid of the D, it's not offensive anymore. You're just reskinning itself. It's kind of like, if you ever see certain video games where they just like update just certain things, kind of like Madden, you know, it's a reskin of what it was before. So you know what? It's going to be the same thing except instead of like just


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[Assistant] I was a, it's a cheap, it's a cash-in, that's pretty much all it is. Like it's, it's nostalgic, but it's just like, you look back on it, it's like, man, this really sucked.


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[Assistant] Somebody in my super chat thirsting over Lola Bunny.


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[Assistant] That movement, and we've gone to dark places because of it.


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[Assistant] Or the XFL, that was their big thing. There was like a s- a person in a booth.


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[Assistant] The other rule would probably be to allow defenders to actually defend, but that's not happening, so.


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[Assistant] I'm fine with it because at least each team gets a chance now.


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[Assistant] See, uhm, I have one from Jeremy Hafner. Boot out. That would be interesting.


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[Assistant] Shootout, but with kickers. Uhm, I've got Cody Parkey would win the kickoff competition. Jared Lorenzen unretiring for the fight to the death.


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[Assistant] Was it before a tie the record you say? Oh, shoot. Uh, I gotta go...


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[Assistant] Oh, I thought it was Mark. I know Mark Malone was supposed to be the successor. He got like a huge head and then he just like, he stunk. That's all I remember.


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[Assistant] And as we all know, Democritry doesn't work.


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[Assistant] Yes. Can you find Raiders jerseys for Antonio Brown?


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[Assistant] Well, well, we're all on the downward spiral.


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[Assistant] I mean, at least for me, I'll probably still be in a downward spiral, but Perna, he'll be fine. Grassi will make Big Bank.


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[Assistant] And Magruder, you're going to be doing reactions and making that bank too. Me, uh, I don't know. I might have.


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[Assistant] Yeah, well, I-I hated every second of it because I had two days of R.C. Lewis about it and I-I-I was not happy. I was not happy whatsoever.


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[Assistant] I'm still working on a few ideas. One of them is revisiting the 2016 NFL draft class. And I've got a couple others I have ideas on, but for the most part, I got like most of the stuff that like I had to do with the NHL haters got released a couple days ago. So now I'm at the point where it's like, okay, what do I do now? So yeah.


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[Assistant] I'm glad to be here today. I am Wildscooter, for those of you unaware. Uhm, I am a variant of Wildflower. You're watching Loki? Uh, yes, I come from a different universe. And I'm happy to be here and joining you guys.


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[Assistant] And, uh, to answer your question five points, I have not dated an abuser. No, I have not.


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[Assistant] Five points. A different way of playing a wonderful sport. You should give it a chance.


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[Assistant] I think this paints a very interesting picture when you think about


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[Assistant] Where would you put Stephon Diggs on the top 100 list?


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[Assistant] I'm glad you brought this question to me, urinating tree, because I too am a Florida Gators fan in this universe.


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[Assistant] It is actually illegal currently for opponents to do a Gator Chop. So this is just another inline step with things that are already happening, I would say.


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[Assistant] If opponents did a gator chop like this during a game, they would be penalized. So what do they do?


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[Assistant] And then their whole team gator chomps. So I envision this is what will be happening.


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[Assistant] To all the teams in Texas, as well. Playing Texas.


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[Assistant] Do not want to talk about that five points. Thank you.


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[Assistant] Can I tweet that question? I think I should tweet that question. Which mascot would taste the best? Hashtag clickbaitsports. I think I'll tweet that right now.


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[Assistant] I cannot speak for Scooter. I, like I said, I, I am here enjoying my time with you guys, but I think he was, he was just happy for a good friend of his to experience a live game during a playoffs. I think that's really what, what the crux of it was.


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[Assistant] When the Florida Gators won the national championship and he was in Gainesville during that time. I believe he told me that


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[Assistant] It was absolute mayhem, is the word he used, pandemonium. We went out.


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[Assistant] University street, there was a tank in the middle of the street. They had pre-lubed


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[Assistant] Someone on a light despite it being pre-lubed. There were naked people running and shrieking. People were banging on windows.


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[Assistant] All around he told me it was one of the best, best times of his life. And listen to this arrogant thought that ran through his head.


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[Assistant] Instead of getting his camera from his dorm room, which he was two minutes away from, this thought ran through his head instead.


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[Assistant] It is a wild time, even just during regular games during this season. The tailgates are fantastic. I encourage each and every one of you to come by, stop by the place they call Gainesville, Florida.


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[Assistant] 10 minutes. 10 minutes on the clock. On the clock.


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[Assistant] I would like to take my time to talk about


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[Assistant] Rainforest deforestation and why it is important to protect our environment. We only have one environment.


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[Assistant] Is your friend. What are the things that you can be doing personally to help?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, before we get into that, let's first jump into the UFC. I am a lover, not a fighter.


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[Assistant] I see that the UFC does offer some form of entertainment to the watchers. Now most recently, I was watching Conor McGregor and he was fighting Dustin Poirier.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The third rematch. This was the match that was gonna settle everything. Apparently these two guys were not friends. They did not like each other. For various reasons.


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[Assistant] He's raining down elbows from the half guard. And I thought, I thought Poirier was going to end it, but time ran out.


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[Assistant] Just as round two was getting started, I believe, and now it's round two, Poirier comes out, it's a fight, it's mayhem, McGregor winds back his leg for a kick, he sw- oh wait, he does not. He falls back, he breaks his own


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's called Medical Injury, Dustin Poirier. You're the winner. Now, upon watching this, I was so enthralled, thrilled, worried. A range of emotions was coursing through my body.


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[Assistant] I did not understand or believe it to be, how could it be that a man


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[Assistant] How could such an individual continue to talk trash while on the ground, ankle broken, battered, bruised? In fact, if you look at the history of Conor McGregor,


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[Assistant] I would just like to open it up to each and every one of you and get your opinion.


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[Assistant] McGregor fans, they will look at Dustin Poirier walking while he's down on the ground defeated, talking trash to a man who's down on the ground defeated. And they look at that and they say bad sport. That's not what you do when you win.


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[Assistant] That's not how you talk. You should not talk to someone like that. Come on. But what these people are not remembering


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[Assistant] The build-up, everything that he's been saying, the non-payment of $500,000 to his charity that McGregor said he would pay, these people are not seeing that. All they are seeing is in the moment, someone making fun of someone they just beat. I'm just saying, consider the breadth. Consider everything. Like I do.


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[Assistant] I just have one more question. I have one more question before my time is up. Are you guys planning to see Space Jam?


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[Assistant] Wild Scooter will not be here next week, and Scooter will also not be here next week because we are doing a family vacation. Uh, but I, I invite you guys to


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, how fans reacted to game one is coming out today. Game two will be tomorrow, game three after that and game four following that.


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[Assistant] I mean, I'm kinda there, I guess.


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[Assistant] That's it. Four Pat McAfee's? I don't know. Maybe we can get like the little pinky of Pat McAfee. Maybe like part of the pinky of Pat McAfee.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, we don't retire. What's gonna happen is we're gonna piss it away on e-sports or gambling or mobile apps. That's how we do it. Dogecoin. The doge. Excuse me. No, not doge, man. We're going game stonks. We're going to the moon. We're going to the moon, baby. You're investing at 400 bucks and it's gonna go down to 50. Absolutely.


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[Assistant] Rafael De Luna for all of us, you guys are absolute legends.


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[Assistant] And our first review of the day from MadSkills, wasted five minutes of my time, here's some money.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I may have paid a few people in the past, so. Makes sense.


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[Assistant] Geeky Metalhead, notice me, Tree. Noticing you, buddy. Lord Vulcan, this is for Tree, not for you two. I'm sorry. Lucas Bernasawix, I love y'all.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I have over a thousand too. I have the Crusader. Are the Bills the new favorites in the AFC? From what I can see, we need to improve our ground game and get an elite pass rusher. I don't disagree. Yea, I mean, kinda need, but where are you gonna get the cap? Let's see what happens.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Here's a suggestion with Red Elephant. You guys should all get a toaster with your team's logos and make a video of all of you in the same tub representing how each of your team seasons end. Someone say Toaster Battle! That is an incredible idea.


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[Assistant] And that'd be premium content. Look at how many views we get. It's like four dumbass shit posters getting bathed up with toaster.


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[Assistant] Yeah, he's like hardcore, like he's usually dumpster fire. He probably forgot. Hold on, real quick. Or he's in the middle of traffic or some shit.


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[Assistant] Before I'm gonna bring in cheaper options, I can see them going after like Andre- Alejandro Villanueva, I can't say Alejandro today, what the fuck. But uhm, probably cheaper options because Fisher and Schwartz were


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Replace him with somebody hip. Replace him with, fuck, I don't know, uhm, uhm, Skip Bayless. Got it, got it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's how you do it. And then there's background noise in the background and maybe it times up and then you get all that stuff and you hear go pack, go in the background, everyone behind you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's it. This is a hockey question. So if you're familiar with the Buffalo Sabres.


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[Assistant] They are completely fucking horrible right now. They are in the abyss. Jeff Skinner is one of the worst contracts in the NHL. He's a fourth liner or occasionally healthy scratched. Kyloq, Poso's pretty much cooked. Jack Eichel might be demanding a trade and they are just skidding hell and back forth. Five. How hard are you laughing at the Sabres right now?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Perhaps like in a certain battle, the enemy is charging up the field. You know how they used to put cow fat on the shields to blind everyone? He just bows his bald head and flex it down, everyone's blinded, and his team wins.


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[Assistant] You are entitled as fuck. Have Evan Ingram catch a ball. There you go.


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[Assistant] I like, I have 470, so. Well, I mean, I gotta get through a bunch of these. Michael, I'm sorry, Connor Akers, any of you watch Gridiron Heights? Also a question for RearNatingTree, how many Tank Bowls will we get next season? I'm guessing 15 Tank Bowls. Any of you watch Gridiron Heights?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, shut up. I do that all the time though. I'm like, Jesus Christ. Urban Alvarado, it's not the dumpster fire. Is this an all-star level dumpster? Anyway, NFL Massacre Week is here, I guess. Who's gonna vote for a massive trading cuts? Good stream so far, El Mal.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Andrew Brandt, what happened to the Enzer, I have to know. He, unfortunately, he kind of went into an isolated depression state after the Browns game.


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[Assistant] It just did not work. Sorry, man. Also, I bought your merch. It's nice. Thank you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, let's talk about sports question from Alex Guerrero.


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[Assistant] Nicky Zumowitz, Atri, what's your opinion about the White Sox hiring DUI La Russa?


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[Assistant] The tier for five. We don't watch tree for the content, we just need him to be a majestic yinzer in this natural habitat.


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[Assistant] I don't know, man. I mean, EDP does that shit too. Just like he's just an Eagles fan in the natural habitat. Jack Logan Smith, you teach Jizzle to Don his collaboration at some point. We did one before.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is crazy. Well, just wait till they trade Dak. Or not Dak, I mean, D'Shawn.


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[Assistant] I'm so sorry. RupertRedBlood, please get set the edge on the channel. I did actually for week 14.


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[Assistant] Paul Feinstein for two, UT, where is the new UR New York calendars vid and JR vid we need? Maybe in the future.


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[Assistant] from five. Waltree looks like outside defense. The Penguins are starting to get it together. I can't.


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[Assistant] Oh, I'm mega demonetized, dude. I've been the king of demonetization. My god.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Thanks to the Crusader for Dylon, thanks to Graf on T-Roll, alias to Bueno, MathTron 5000, Dan Young, Selectaboy, Jordan Culberson, I'm just getting, um, Ashar Sakem, he says Adam may be bald, but he's more cut than I will ever be, so major props to him. Appreciate it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Also, thanks for, uh, Jared Brussel. Thanks for Big Boys Gaming. Graf von Tyrol. Kevin Michael von Magnum.


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[Assistant] Alright, non-fungible tokens. Alright, the future of, of everything. Oh, Brandon!


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[Assistant] We got a roast or toast. That comes after roast or toast.


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[Assistant] This move reeks of Marcus Mariota going to the Raiders and just Mitch kind of biding his time until it's time to reappear as the MVP. I think it's, it's a very roastable move because you just bring up Mitch Trubisky and it's funny. So I'm going to roast this one. Okay. Fair enough. Fair enough.


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[Assistant] That's as disastrous as the first, as the test episode of this show.


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[Assistant] I'm gonna have to roast this one. Patrick Peterson is, his skills are declining and, uh,


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[Assistant] So, I am toasting this one for a great player finally getting out of the hell that has been the Natty.


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[Assistant] Just figure it out. Well, they are rumored to be in for Kenny Golliday.


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[Assistant] Did Cam and Steve Smith overlap? Did that happen?


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[Assistant] While you're doing that, I will roast this because, uh, anytime I can make fun of Bill Belichick who, his excuse for their losses last year was, we don't have any money, it's clear, we don't have any money, blah, blah, blah. And now they're going out and spending like an ex-girlfriend that's just, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, she's, she's, she bought a Peloton, she might have got a makeover, and bought a bunch of SlimFast, and she's ready to hit, hit the, uh, the day after.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Listen, she bought some leg warmers and a couple jazzercise tapes and she is getting in shape.


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[Assistant] To, uh, go out and a shake weight. She's going to hit the discotheque and find her a man. That's right.


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[Assistant] Okay, before we go to the next roast or toast, what's the score so far? What does everybody's count?


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[Assistant] Oh, you're talking about donations? Yes, donate, super chat.


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[Assistant] Oh, so you're in the lead, probably. No, I don't think so. Tree? I'm 194.61. Tree is in the, is in the back of the pack.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, well we'll add it up at the end. There's two things you use math as an adult, right? Figuring out a point spread, right? And buying a house. Those are the two things.


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[Assistant] Listen, sometimes you want to have another person strapped to you. You got it. Look, for the people that typically have another person walk beside them, sometimes you want to carry that person, just a fully grown human being on your, on your person. And so this is designed for those people on the go, right?


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[Assistant] I think someone heard the words that fanny packs are back.


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[Assistant] To help them through what an actual fanny pack is, which is what you kept your pager in.


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[Assistant] You know, and your bubble gum in high school.


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[Assistant] Is nobody noticing that Tom has an actual Green Bay Packers toaster over here and he's trying to get it to work?


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[Assistant] And before that I was Jay Cutler.


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[Assistant] Uh, it's been very boring and I guess that's kind of refreshing for me. I think we've gotten burnt on some bad deals. We gave Nate Solder a bunch of money that he just didn't need and he's on the downside of his career and he wasn't even out there. He just opted out last year. So, which is fine. Like, I mean, that's everyone's choice.


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[Assistant] The, in the climate that was last year, but you know, we haven't really lost anybody. We haven't really gained and you were going to Kyle Rudolph today. Who's all right. Finally a tight end that can catch.


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[Assistant] Uh, unlike Evan Ingram who prevented us from making the playoffs by one- Made the Pro Bowl though! Yeah, he was a Pro Bowler, but uh-


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[Assistant] Yeaah, uh, no, we did lose the, uh,


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[Assistant] The defensive player, ding, ding, what's his name, uhm.


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[Assistant] Hold on, I'll get it. Uh, Dalvin Tomlinson, that stung. That stung.


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[Assistant] But, uh, we're not a team that can really give up defense, uh, but that, that, that happened. And we got John Ross, which is a waste of 2.25 million dollars.


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[Assistant] And, uh, Devante Booker will be, you know, he's just a spellback. So, we really haven't done much and I'm fine with that. I'm absolutely...


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[Assistant] Not even close. This is not a winning roster whatsoever. This is an 8-win roster.


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[Assistant] Abso- unless, unless we somehow pull off Schwartz or N'Goloday, like this is not a great, great roster. But you know what? Every year that I say that, that they're going to be terrible is the year that they actually come to play. So who knows? I just, I don't have any confidence in Daniel Jones right now.


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[Assistant] His pocket presence is iffy at best and they can't block for him.


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[Assistant] Well, see, if I were the Giant's GM, I'd probably just fire myself and take whatever, uhm, lie out there is, cause I would not be able to take the constant criticism.


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[Assistant] Jibril Peppers, I'm sorry. I said Jibril Wilson. How old am I? Holy crap. Uh, I would like there to be another option for Daniel Jones, some type of bailout for him. Now, if somehow Schwartz comes as well, but I don't think, I don't see that happening. They've been quiet for a reason. It's because they were told to be. And unless we can get Gala Day, uh, I don't see anything else big.


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[Assistant] I honestly think that the Washington football team, and this pains me to say this,


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[Assistant] He has probably the best roster in, in the NFC East, which, which hurts. And if they had a quarterback, we'd be in a lot of trouble. They have an excellent defense, Scooter. An excellent, a superlative defense. And what do they say? What do they say?


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[Assistant] They don't have flashy names. They're not a brand name roster. But look, who just won the Super Bowl?


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[Assistant] Not Washington! Okay, but who just won the Super Bowl?


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[Assistant] Alright, is this the part in the show where we tally up all of our...


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[Assistant] Uhm, super chats and then determine who the loser is.


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[Assistant] Three hours. He also had Zack Snyder on his stream.


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[Assistant] Yeah, everyone give, if you have a chance to congratulate Uche, he had a big boy stream last night. I was very proud of him. Ah, nothing like your first big boy stream. Yep.


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[Assistant] I dunno, next week you'll be on YouTube so you'll have access to it.


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[Assistant] I guess we'll go around the horn. I'm clearly going to win this one, which is actually losing. I made less than one of Tree's Super Chats. I made $40.63.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I will take it. Hey, uh, TGS, send me $40, right?


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[Assistant] I've got Washington at 76.5% right now, talent wise. And it's the exact, it says who has the better roster, talent wise.


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[Assistant] Alright, the tweet says who has a better roster, talent wise, and Washington football is at 76%.


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[Assistant] Tom, reveal the number so that Brandon can take care of his baby.


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[Assistant] So now we have a week to think of a punishment for Tom, which I am assuming is going to be male Spanx.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes, I agree. Yes, I think that that's great. I think you have a week to, every time you lose, you have a week to procure your rivals team gear. Better yet, you have to wear a fighting suit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I am working on the most least, the story of the most least wanted QB, an idea I stole from Brandon, the Alex Smith story. That is the, uh.


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[Assistant] Uhm, but yeaah, that will be dropping next Wednesday.


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[Assistant] Will wrote it very dramatically, I don't know if there's room for comic relief in there, but I will give you credit for the idea.


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[Assistant] Duke! You should root for Duke in the tournament, by the way.


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[Assistant] I stopped myself right before I said it. 69 is not a cuss word.


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[Assistant] If a casualty has suffered an abnormal force to the neck or back and is complaining of changes in sensation or difficulty in moving, they could have a spinal injury.


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[Assistant] You must take care not to unnecessarily move their head, neck or spine.


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[Assistant] Some of the following incidents could indicate a possible spinal injury. They could have fallen from a height, such as from a ladder, fallen awkwardly when doing gymnastics, from diving into a shallow pool and hitting the bottom, a collapsed rugby scrum, fallen awkwardly from a horse or motorbike,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They could have experienced sudden de-acceleration in a car, had an injury to the head or face, or had a heavy object fall across their back.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you suspect someone has a spinal injury, there are several key things to look for.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They may have pain in their neck or back where the injury occurred. Have bruising and tenderness in the skin over the spine. An irregular twist in the normal curve of the spine. Have breathing difficulties. Loss of bladder and or bowel control. They may lose control of their limbs.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] May lose sensation or have abnormal sensations such as tingling or burning. Or their limbs feel stiff, heavy or clumsy.


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[Assistant] If you think they have a spinal injury, reassure the casualty and advise them not to move. Call 999 or 112 for emergency help. You should then kneel or lie behind the casualty's head.


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[Assistant] Support the head in this position, so the head, neck and spine are aligned.


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[Assistant] Make sure you continue to hold this position until emergency help arrives.


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[Assistant] Unless they are in immediate danger and it's safe for you to do so. Monitor their level of response until help arrives.


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[Assistant] So remember, if you suspect a spinal injury, reassure them and call 999 or 112.


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[Assistant] Don't move them. Support their head and neck until help arrives. And that's how you help someone with a spinal injury.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If this video has been helpful to you, help support St John Ambulance by going to saa.org.uk forward slash donate.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A seizure, also known as convulsion or fit, can be caused by a disruption to the electrical activity in the brain which may lead to uncontrollable contractions in muscles and unresponsiveness.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If a seizure occurs, the most common cause is epilepsy, but it can be caused by other things, such as alcohol poisoning, a lack of oxygen, after a head injury, after taking certain drugs.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Or if someone with diabetes is having a hypo, where the blood glucose is too low.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When someone is having a seizure, you may find they have sudden loss of responsiveness, rigid body with arching back, noisy and difficult breathing, convulsive, jerky, uncontrolled movements.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Saliva at the mouth which could be blood stained if they've bitten their tongue or cheek. Possible loss of bladder or bowel control.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Afterwards, they may be confused, tired and fall into a deep sleep.


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[Assistant] Clear away any potential dangerous objects like hot drinks or sharp objects.


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[Assistant] Make a note of the time when the seizure started and how long it lasts.


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[Assistant] Protect their head by placing something soft underneath or around it, like a towel, and loosen any clothing around their neck.


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[Assistant] Once a seizure has stopped, open their airway and check their breathing. If they're breathing, put them into the recovery position.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If they stop breathing at any point, prepare to treat someone who is unresponsive and not breathing, monitoring their level of response.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Call 999 or 112 for emergency help if it's the person's first seizure, the cause is unknown, they're having repeated seizures, the seizure lasts more than 5 minutes, they are unresponsive for more than 10 minutes, or they've sustained an injury.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So remember, protect but don't restrain them. Call 999 or 112. And that's how you help someone who's having a seizure.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If this video has been helpful to you, help support St John Ambulance by going to saa.org.uk forward slash donate.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It could be a potential playoff matchup. So do you show your full hand? Do you play it safe? You can win. How should JB Bickerstaff in his half handle that upcoming situation? But we start today with some baseball Jay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I want to chime in one guy we missed. I want to give a shout out to Ethan Pochich, another guy in the offensive line who is a stalwart in the center. Does not get the credit he deserves. He's flanked by two all-pro guards with Wyatt Teller and Joel Petronio. But I think Ethan Pochich, when he's out, you feel it.


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[Assistant] And I think this year we really did feel how important he was to the impact of this offensive.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Of individualized team-specific content every Monday and Friday. G. Bush is with you on The Ultimate Brown Show. 30 minutes of Brown's coverage that is every Friday. On Tuesdays, myself and Jason Lloyd are talking Cavs on The Ultimate Cavs Show on Thursday.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Earl the Pearl has his ultimate 216 show. It is a sports lifestyle mix-up and every Monday, except it's not every Monday because this week it's on Tuesday, the Ultimate Guardian Show with Adam the Bull and Zach Meisel. That's coming to you guys on Tuesday. So make sure you guys tune into all the extra ultimate shows outside of the Ultimate Cleveland Sports Show whenever you get a chance.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What is that? He wanted an angry elf on a weird colored helmet.


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[Assistant] I did not make this helmet, I wish Ant was here to present, but he ran off to the bathroom.


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[Assistant] Not according to Ant. This is also Ant spent so much time on this graphic. He didn't put this effort in for anything. It was his.


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[Assistant] Thank you. First of all, today is dedicated to Director Steve. It is his 200th birthday today, so I wanted to take the time to show my support to him by putting on these glasses to showcase that, hey,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's not everything you do is bad, okay? You know, you got, this is your idea and I'm cool with that and I support what you do. So, this is my support and I just wanted to wish you a happy 200th birthday. Here's to 201. Director Steve. Is today Steve's birthday?


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[Assistant] So what I did the uh, when we did the Buckeye Cruise this past year, it was uh, what's his name? Jimmy Buffett? Is that the dude from Margaritaville? Yea, yea, yea. Did he just die? Yea, we had a day dedicated to him and they was giving out these glasses, so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, so shout out to Steve. I said I wear these. I told EP, I told, uh, Steve Becker that I rock these in honor of director Steve today. Steve, how old are you today? 200!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is he a bad human being? I don't think he is. I just think he's caught up in young guns, young all that stuff. He's young and immature. He's immature. He's not bad.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What I like is fast starts, you know, and it goes out there to pop three in the first inning.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I tried, Steve. I tried. Look, he gonna go put a bone in the back. Uh, but anyways, fast starts is always good. Uhm, and I love the fact that, you know, Steven Volk has put his spin on it. You know, for so many, for the past couple of years, or just last year, I should say, mainly, you know, the hitting was such a problem, but to see them


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm with you on the home run thing. I stood right there and looked in this camera and said that they will be top 15. As of today, we are what, 19th? So, wrong one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Don't do that, don't do that. Listen, Rome wasn't built in a day and we are four spots away from making me look like a genius, so.


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[Assistant] We can only, we can only go off of the games that's been played. That's right. And right now they're 19.


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[Assistant] When we did that, uh, last week we did the, uh, top ten pitchers, pitchers, like lineup rotations. Yeaah.


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[Assistant] He had, he had the most saves, but the most blows. Yeaah. Yeaah. He had nine losses.


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[Assistant] You know what's amazing? Is that they don't have an art model. They don't have a guy from city council going up there saying that they can't play and, uh, they shouldn't be able to play in Sacramento.


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[Assistant] Yes, yea they should. I mean, listen, when you watch him play, you can clearly see that he's, he's bothered by his knee. I mean, he went to dribble the ball and try to get low and try to take it to the hole and he ended up losing the ball. And defensively, you know, he's, he's limping around. I just, I understand that you want to be out there for your guys.


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[Assistant] And I understand that you are kind of considered the heart and soul of this team, but I think that you, you doing a disservice a little bit when you not being able to be a hundred percent. And I think that if your knee is still affecting your, your play.


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[Assistant] And you know that the playoffs is coming up in a couple of days. I get that you want to, you're probably thinking to yourself, I want to see how I can play with it, what I can and cannot do. But I think that you also should be trying to get as healthy as you can. You know, maybe you're not going to be a hundred percent, but maybe we can get you to 85% if you just take a couple of games off. That should be the case. Uhm, but right now,


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[Assistant] It's no point. Like, y'all in the playoffs anyways, right?


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[Assistant] Like I said, 75% compared to 85% is a big difference. He can't do what he wants. He can't do what he wants.


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[Assistant] Like I said, he tried, he, he know he ain't gonna be 100% so he trying to figure out how I can be successful in the playoffs with this injury. That's clearly what this is.


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[Assistant] It's because, I'ma tell you, it looked like they all kinda just gave up.


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[Assistant] Then they let Devin Booker and Devin went for 40, KD went for 32.


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[Assistant] Where did they play before the Nuggets? It was a bad team.


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[Assistant] It's just interesting because they're in a similar situation that the Cleveland Browns ran. They dealt with a bunch of injuries, but that team


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[Assistant] Was built with the right stuff. They didn't let that stop them. And the Cavs is like the complete opposite. Like, I guess that's, as a fan, that's why I'm judging it the way. Like I just watched Cleveland Browns just do what they did with all the injuries. Cavs got injuries, but they got guys who's had moments that have signed.


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[Assistant] And now knowing that guys are not 100%, you would think that they would step up in, in, in the absence of that. And they're not doing that.


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[Assistant] Why is Darius playing like this? I need to know. Something's not right. Something is wrong. Did JB lose the locker room? Like what is it? Are y'all trying to, are y'all trying to imply that y'all don't want to play for JB no more? I need to know what the heck happened.


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[Assistant] You know the Will Lippins guy? I don't like him. He threw pretty well.


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[Assistant] Okay, and the runner back that scored, how many touchdowns did Mo Raheem score last year? Twenty something? Twenty one total. But he's old! First of all.


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[Assistant] I'd rather have a healthier Mario Cooper and a healthy Nick Chuz. Really? No.


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[Assistant] Mark Andrews. Mark Andrews is really good. Now the Browns.


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[Assistant] I don't know how good he'd be with somebody else. And if Gabe, if you look at Gabe Davis as big play Gabe as he likes to call himself.


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[Assistant] That's good. Cause ETN is good and Evan Ingram is good.


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[Assistant] I think that, I think that Joku caused more of a mismatch than Evan Ingram.


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[Assistant] For this exercise, I'm guessing that that's the joku we're talking about.


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[Assistant] But then you gotta, then you gotta throw a guy like Keith Mitchell in there who is dangerous. He's nice. If they had one- Would you take him over to Jerome Ford?


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[Assistant] I'm still, the Titan thing still got me a little bit. Titans vs Ravens? Uh, the Titan, listen, that receiver, it just depends on how you look at Tony Pollard. And that's the thing, he had a down year, but two years ago he was really special, so.


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[Assistant] I think from a production standpoint, I would take the Jets. And yes, we're talking about just weapons, but the quarterback just has to factor. Jets factor. Aaron Rodgers over wheel level.


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[Assistant] They got Marquise Brown and Rashi Rice, Travis Kelce and Pacheco. That's good! Like that's...


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[Assistant] I take Pickens. I take Pickens over. Over Pittman? Yes. I go Pittman.


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[Assistant] I would probably- You're undervaluing ETN a little bit. Not saying he's Jonathan Taylor. No, he's not Jonathan Taylor. No, he's a good-


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[Assistant] Four or five. Four or five is six. Any way you want to put that order, I respect it.


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[Assistant] Well, for this exercise, I took away my biases because it was obviously Denzel Ward, but I'm not going to say him because I don't want to hear the chat go crazy and all of this jazz. So, for this, I went with Martin Emerson.


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[Assistant] I remember when they drafted Martin Emerson, they were like, people was like, why did they do that and those type of things.


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[Assistant] But the one thing that I saw about him is that he had led the SEC and PBUs. And me being a former DB, that told me that he knew how to play the football well.


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[Assistant] And when you get into the NFL, one of the things that bothers a lot of young DBS is when that ball go up, they get nervous. I mean, it's, it's the funniest thing in the world. They get nervous. They start grabbing, pulling, don't know how to react.


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[Assistant] But for a guy that led the SEC in PBUs, I mean, I knew he knew how to play the ball, so when the ball went up and they went at him, I knew he could either get a PBU or he could get a pick.


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[Assistant] So far, he's turned out to be 100% exactly what I thought. He had that dog mentality that I knew that you needed to succeed in the NFL. And he's made plays on the ball, PBUs and picks. So, it's not shocking to me to see him where he's at.


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[Assistant] What I actually, I sent Mike too. I sent Mike too.


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[Assistant] No, a guy with Kyle Shanahan, that can work out. He'll put him in the right situations. He's mobile enough. I thought maybe the mobility of him being able to get away from stuff will actually help him succeed. He'll buy his receivers time. I thought it would be good. The man never even watched films.


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[Assistant] I'm sorry, okay? Yeah, the Joe Thomas one, I was definitely, but I really wanted Adrian Peterson at that time. I can't lie about that.


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[Assistant] I'ma tell you a guy that Browns drafted that I was like...


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[Assistant] Listen, I didn't have my own dance. You know, fun fact, I never recorded a sack, but do you know if I did, I have my sack dance ready?


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[Assistant] Sean, I got a bone to pick with you. Oh boy. No, it's serious. So, so listen to me.


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[Assistant] And I see all the reactions. And then I see Sean Merriman say,


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[Assistant] It's not that bad, you know, this is, it improves our game. How can you sit there as a former defensive guy, knowing that they're doing this to us, making their offensive heavy, and actually applaud them for doing such a thing, and putting us out of disservice, and you, and you agree with that?


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[Assistant] I disagree. Alright. I disagree because naturally on a, on a slant, Sean, as a DB, when they run a slant, I go make that tackle.


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[Assistant] I'ma drop my hips cause I gotta get him down on the ground. Like that's just how it goes.


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[Assistant] Sean, there's been a bunch of moves across the NFL this year, uhm, as far as off-season trades and acquisitions. What's been your favorite one that you was like, you know what? That team is special now.


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[Assistant] They gotta save the money for, for DAC and Michael Parsons.