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[Assistant] He's such a friend of the family, Sammy. But when he's away from us, he can't be comfortable unless he has something to remember us by.


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[Assistant] And emptied it before he comes back, I suppose, said Sam. Clean, replied Mr Weller. Never leaves nothing in it but the cork and the smell. Trust him for that, Sammy. Now, these here fellows, my boy, are going tonight to get at the monthly meeting of the Brick Lane branch of the United Grand Junction Ebenezer Temperance Association.


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[Assistant] Mr. Weller communicated this secret with great glee, and winked so indefatigably after doing so, that Sam began to think he must have got the tick de l'heureur in his right eyelid. Well, said that young gentleman,


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[Assistant] Well, continued his progenitor looking round him very cautiously.


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[Assistant] Here, Mr. Weller was seized with a paroxysm of chuckles, which gradually terminated in as near an approach to a choke as an elderly gentleman can with safety sustain.


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[Assistant] Well, I never seen such an old ghost in all my born days, exclaimed Sam, rubbing the old gentleman's back hard enough to set him on fire with the friction. What are you laughing at, corpulence?


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[Assistant] Ash Sammy, said Mr Weller, looking round him with increased caution and speaking in a whisper.


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[Assistant] Two friends of mine, as works the Oxford Road and is up to all kinds of games, has got the Deputy Shepard safe in tow Sammy.


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[Assistant] And with this, Mr. Weller once more laughed immoderately, and once more relapsed into a state of partial suffocation and consequence.


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[Assistant] Nothing could have been more in accordance with Sam Weller's feelings than the projected exposure of the real propensities and qualities of the red-nosed man.


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[Assistant] And it being very near the appointed hour of meeting, the father and son took their way at once to Brick Lane. Sam not forgetting to drop his letter into a general post office as they walked along.


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[Assistant] The monthly meetings of the Brick Lane branch of the United Grand Junction Ebenezer Templars Association were held in a large room, pleasantly and eerily situated, at the top of a safe and commodious ladder.


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[Assistant] The president was the straight-walking Mr. Anthony Humm, a converted fireman, now a schoolmaster, and occasionally an itinerant preacher. And the secretary was Mr. Jonas Mudge, Chandler's shopkeeper, an enthusiastic and disinterested vessel who sold tea to the members.


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[Assistant] And a large wooden money box was conspicuously placed upon the green bays cloth of the business table, behind which the secretary stood and acknowledged with a gracious smile every addition to the rich vein of copper which lay concealed within.


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[Assistant] On this particular occasion, the women drank tea to a most alarming extent, greatly to the horror of Mr Weller Sr., who, utterly regardless of all Sam's admonitory nudgings, stared about him in every direction with the most undisguised astonishment. Sammy!


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[Assistant] Whispered Mr Weller, if somebody's here, people don't want tapping tomorrow morning. I ain't your father and that's what it is.


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[Assistant] Why, this here old lady next to me is a-dreamin' herself in tea. Be quiet, can't you? Merman Sam. Sam.


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[Assistant] whispered Mr Weller a moment afterwards in a tone of deep agitation. My, my verge, my boy. If that air secretary fellow keeps on for only five minutes more, he'll blow himself up with toast and water.


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[Assistant] There is little doubt that Mr Weller would have carried his benevolent intention into immediate execution if a great noise, occasioned by putting up the cups and saucers, had not very fortunately announced that the tea drinking was over. The crockery having been removed,


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[Assistant] Who suddenly rushed up the ladder at the imminent peril of snapping the two little legs encased in the drab shorts and said, Ladies and gentlemen, I move our excellent brother, Mr. Anthony Hum into the chair.


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[Assistant] The ladies waved a choice collection of pocket handkerchiefs at this proposition, and the impetuous little man literally moved Mr. Harman to the chair by taking him by the shoulders and thrusting him into a mahogany frame which had once represented that article of furniture.


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[Assistant] The waving of handkerchiefs was renewed, and Mr. Hum, who was a sleek white-faced man and a perpetual perspiration, bowed meekly to the great admiration of the females, and formally took his seat.


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[Assistant] And Mr. Humm rose and said that with the permission of his Brick Lane branch brothers and sisters, then and there present, the secretary would read the report of the Brick Lane branch committee, a proposition which was again received with a demonstration of pocket handkerchiefs.


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[Assistant] The secretary having sneezed in a very impressive manner, and the cough which always ceases an assembly when anything particular is going to be done, having been duly performed, the following document was read.


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[Assistant] Report to the Committee of the Brick Lane branch of the United Grand Junction Ebenezer Temperance Association.


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[Assistant] Says he is not certain whether he did not twice a week for twenty years taste dog's nose. Which your committee find upon inquiry to be compounded of warm porter, moist sugar, gin and nutmeg.


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[Assistant] Tremendous cheering. Has nothing but cold water to drink and never feels thirsty. Great applause.


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[Assistant] Betsy Martin, widow, one child and one eye. Goes out charring and washing by the day. Never had more than one eye, but knows her mother drank bottled stout and shouldn't wonder if that caused it. Immense cheering.


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[Assistant] Thinks it not impossible that if she had always abstained from spirits she might have had two eyes by this time. Tremendous applause.


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[Assistant] But since she became a member of the Brick Lane branch, has always demanded three and six prints instead.


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[Assistant] The announcement of this most interesting fact was received with deafening enthusiasm.


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[Assistant] Henry Bella was for many years toastmaster at various corporation dinners, during which time he drank a great deal of foreign wine. May sometimes have carried a bottle or two home with him, he's not quite certain of that, but he's sure if he did that he drank the contents.


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[Assistant] Cheers. He's out of employ now and never touches a drop of foreign wine by any chance. Tremendous plaudits.


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[Assistant] Has a wooden leg, finds a wooden leg expensive going over the stones.


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[Assistant] Used to wear second hand wooden legs and drink a glass of hot gin and water regularly every night. Sometimes two. Deep sighs.


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[Assistant] Found the second and wooden legs split and rot very quickly. Is firmly persuaded that their constitution was undermined by the gin and water. Prolonged cheering.


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[Assistant] Buys new wooden legs now and drinks nothing but water and weak tea. The new legs last twice as long as the others used to do, and he attributes this solely to his temperate habits. Triumph and cheers.


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[Assistant] With a view to their rational and moral enjoyment, Brother Maudlin had adapted the beautiful words of, Who hasn't heard of a jolly young waterman to the tune of the old hundredth, which he would request them to join him in singing. Great applause.


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[Assistant] He might take that opportunity of expressing his firm persuasion that the late Mr. Dibdin, seeing the errors of his former life, had written that song to show the advantages of abstinence. It was a temperance song. Well, wind of cheers.


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[Assistant] The neatness of the young man's attire, the dexterity of his feathering, the enviable state of mind which enabled him in the beautiful words of the poet to


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[Assistant] Row along, thinking of nothing at all. All combined to prove that he must have been a water drinker. Cheers. Oh, what a state of virtuous jollity.


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[Assistant] Rapturous cheering. And what was the young man's reward? Let all young men present mark this. The maidens all flocked to his boat so readily. Loud cheers in which the ladies joined.


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[Assistant] What a bright example. The sisterhood, the maidens flocking round the young waterman and urging him along the stream of duty and temperance.


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[Assistant] But was it the maidens of humble life only who soothed, consoled, and supported him? No!


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[Assistant] He was always first oars with the fine city ladies. Immense cheering.


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[Assistant] The soft sex to a man, he begged pardon to a female, rallied round the young waterman and turned with disgust from the drinker of spirits. Cheers! The Brick Lane branch brothers were watermen.


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[Assistant] Cheers and laughter. That room was their boat, that audience were the maidens, and he, Mr. Anthony Humm, however unworthily, was first-ors. Unbounded applause. What did he mean by the soft sex, Sammy? Inquired Mr. Weller in a whisper. The women, said Sam in the same tone.


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[Assistant] Any further observations from the indignant old gentleman were cut short by the announcement of the song.


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[Assistant] Which Mr. Anthony Hamm gave out two lines at a time for the information of such of his hearers as were unacquainted with the legend.


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[Assistant] While it was being sung, the little man with the drab shorts disappeared. He returned immediately on its conclusion and whispered Mr. Anthony Hum with a face of the deepest importance. My friends.


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[Assistant] A delegate from the Dawking branch of our society, Brother Stiggins, attends below.


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[Assistant] He may approach, I think, said Mr. Hum, looking round him with a fat smile. Brother Tadger, let him come forth and greet us.


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[Assistant] The little man in the drab shorts who answered to the name of brother Tadra, bustled down the ladder with great speed, and was immediately afterwards heard tumbling up with the Reverend Mr. Stiggins.


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[Assistant] As Sam Weller spoke, the little door flew open and Brother Tadger appeared, closely followed by the Reverend Mr. Stiggins.


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[Assistant] Who no sooner entered than there was a great clapping of hands and stamping of feet and flourishing of handkerchiefs.


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[Assistant] To all of which manifestations of delight, Brother Stiggins returned no other acknowledgement than staring with a wild eye and a fixed smile at the extreme top of the wick of the candle on the table, swaying his body to and fro meanwhile in a very unsteady and uncertain manner. Are you unwell, Brother Stiggins? whispered Mr. Anthony Humm. I am all right, sir, replied Mr. Stiggins.


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[Assistant] With this, Mr Stiggins, entertaining a praiseworthy desire to promote the sobriety of the meeting, and to exclude therefrom all improper characters, hit Brother Tadger on the summit of the nose, with such unearthing aim, that the drab shorts disappeared like a flash of lightning. Brother Tadger had been knocked head first down the ladder.


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[Assistant] Upon this, the women set up a loud and dismal screaming and rushing in small parties before their favourite brothers flung their arms around them to preserve them from danger.


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[Assistant] The greater part of the lights were quickly put out and nothing but noise and confusion resounded on all sides.


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[Assistant] Before Sam could interfere to prevent it, his heroic parents had penetrated into a remote corner of the room and attacked the Reverend Mr. Stiggins with manual dexterity.


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[Assistant] Finding all remonstrance unavailing, Sam pulled his hat firmly on, threw his father's coat over his arm, and taking the old man round the waist, forcibly dragged him down the ladder and into the street, never releasing his hold, or permitting him to stop until they reached the corner.


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[Assistant] She told me that she kept the television on all the time because it made her feel less lonely. It makes the house seem more lived in, she said. I had on several occasions.


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[Assistant] Give in to my annoyance and either turn the volume down or turn it off.


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[Assistant] But after she told me that it filled in some of the loneliness, I never reached for the remote again.


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[Assistant] We have had a long journey together, she and I. Over a half century of memories, now that the journey has ended, I have a choice which ones to study, which ones to turn over in my hand, and dust off.


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[Assistant] I choose to look at the ones that ache with a sweet truth not told often enough. There was love between us.


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[Assistant] It was just hard to find sometimes.


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[Assistant] I choose to remember her face on that winter day in Manhattan when I came to her with a broken heart.


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[Assistant] I choose to remember walking on the shore with her in summers when we rented a beach house.


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[Assistant] Somehow the sea always transformed us.


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[Assistant] And how she looked on my wedding day when she handed me a bracelet that had belonged to my grandmother.


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[Assistant] I remember how she and my father used to walk along the paths of the garden in the afternoons. Both of them older. Their steps slow and cautious.


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[Assistant] His occasional questions splintery with Alzheimer's. Her answers patient and soft.


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[Assistant] She stopped walking in the garden after his death. I didn't need to ask why.


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[Assistant] I remember how her eyes drifted toward the sky when she spoke about wanting to be with my father again when she died. I'm sure God is listening to you. I would always tell her. Well, he certainly better be, she said once. I'm sure God can take care of himself, but I hope for his sake that he was listening


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[Assistant] Today's program ends here. Thank you for listening.


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[Assistant] Tampa, Dallas, Washington, Baltimore, all law. So the big picture is, at least in the NFC South,


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[Assistant] Chris Olave, wow, what a, I mean, first off, stunning rookie year and


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[Assistant] Got number 41 back in the building yesterday, that must be nice.


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[Assistant] You could see it was, it was over. I mean, there was, I mean.


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[Assistant] You know, very resilient. Certainly the Tampa loss last year was, was tough.


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[Assistant] Gonna step aside, take a quick break. We're talking with Saints Executive Vice President and General Manager Mickey Limits. This is the Saints Hour on the Community Coffee.


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[Assistant] And we talked about this a little bit last year because it was kind of like things didn't.


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[Assistant] Completely different. You know, week one you won the turnover battle, week two you were even, week three.


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[Assistant] You talk about, uh, some of the, like, Kendra getting his first action, the people who had played in place.


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[Assistant] And the most recent, uh, being Carl Granderson, and I'm curious, I want to go backwards a little bit to 2019, undrafted free agent out of Wyoming, uh, maybe kind of what, what


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[Assistant] But just take me back to what you saw then and kind of what you have watched the progression.


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[Assistant] Yeah, you talked, you talked, I mean, eight games in 2019, but he's been there five sacks in 20.


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[Assistant] Surely you don't really mean, really and seriously now, in irritation apart, that you won't pay these costs and damages? Not one? Hey, Penny.


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[Assistant] Said Mr. Pickwick firmly. Not. One. Hapenny. Hurrah for the principal!


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[Assistant] Who is clearing away the breakfast things. Sam, said Mr. Pickwick, have the goodness to step downstairs. Certainly sir, replied Mr. Weller.


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[Assistant] And acting on Mr. Pickwick's gentle hint, Sam retired. No, perker.


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[Assistant] They can issue execution, my dear sir, for the amount of the damages and taxed costs next term, replied Perker. Just two months hence, my dear sir. Very good.


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[Assistant] Said Mr. Pickwick, until that time, my dear fellow, let me hear no more of the matter. And now, continued Mr. Pickwick, looking round on his friends with a good, humoured smile and a sparkle in the eye which no spectacles could dim or conceal, the only question is, where shall we go next?


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[Assistant] Mr. Topman and Mr. Snodgrass were too much affected by their friend's heroism to offer any reply.


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[Assistant] So that gentleman, if you leave me to suggest our destination, I say Bath. I think none of us have ever been there. Nobody had.


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[Assistant] And as the proposition was warmly seconded by Perker, who considered it extremely probable that if Mr. Pickwick saw a little change in gaiety, he would be inclined to think better of his determination, and worse, of the debtors' prison. It was carried unanimously.


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[Assistant] And exerting his mechanical genius in constructing a variety of ingenious devices for keeping the lids on boxes which had neither locks nor hinges.


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[Assistant] The next was a very unprepicious morning for a journey. Muggy, damp and drizzly.


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[Assistant] The horses in the stages that were going out and had come through the city were smoking, so that the outside passengers were invisible.


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[Assistant] The newspaper sellers look moist and smell moldy.


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[Assistant] The wet ran off the hats of the orange vendors as they thrust their heads into the coach windows and diluted the insides in a refreshing manner.


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[Assistant] The Jews with the 50 bladed pen knives shut them up in despair.


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[Assistant] The men with the pocketbooks made pocketbooks of them, watch guards and toasting forks were alike at a discount, and pencil cases and sponge were a drug in the market.


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[Assistant] The travellers room at the White Horse Cellar is of course uncomfortable. It would be no travellers room if it were not.


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[Assistant] It is the right hand parlor, into which an aspiring kitchen fireplace appears to a warp.


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[Assistant] It is divided into boxes for the solitary confinement of travellers and it is furnished with a clock, a looking glass and a live waiter.


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[Assistant] One of the boxes was occupied on this particular occasion by a stern-eyed man of about five and forty who had a bald and glossy forehead with a good deal of black hair at the sides and back of his head and large black whiskers.


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[Assistant] He was buttoned up to the chin in a brown coat and had a large seal skin travelling cap and a great coat and cloak lying on the seat beside him.


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[Assistant] He looked up from his breakfast as Mr. Pickwick entered with a fierce and peremptory air which was very dignified.


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[Assistant] And having scrutinized that gentleman and his companions to his entire satisfaction,


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[Assistant] Reply the man with a dirty complexion and a towel of the same, emerging from the kennel before mentioned. Some more toast. Yes sir, buttered toast mined, said the gentleman fiercely. Directly sir, replied the waiter.


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[Assistant] The gentleman with the whiskers hummed a tune in the same manner as before.


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[Assistant] And pending the arrival of the toast, advanced to the front of the fire, and taking his coat-tails under his arms, looked at his boots and ruminated. I wonder whereabouts in Bath this coach puts up, said Mr. Pickwick mildly addressing Mr. Winkle. Hm, hey, what's there? said the strange man.


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[Assistant] I made an observation to my friend sir, replied Mr. Pickwick, always ready to enter into conversation. I wonder that what house the bath coach put up. Perhaps you can inform me. Are you going to bath? Said the strange man. I am sir, replied Mr. Pickwick. And those other gentlemen? They're going also, said Mr. Pickwick. Not inside.


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[Assistant] I'll be damned if you're going inside, said the strange man. No, not all of us, said Mr Pickwick.


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[Assistant] No, not all of you, said the strange man emphatically. I've taken two places.


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[Assistant] Here, the fierce gentleman rang the bell with great violence and told the waiter he'd better bring the toast in five seconds or he'd know the reason why.


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[Assistant] My good sir, Sir Mr. Pickwick, you will allow me to observe that this is a very unnecessary display of excitement.


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[Assistant] With great pleasure sir, replied Mr. Pickwick. We are to be fellow travellers and I hope we shall find each other's society mutually agreeable. I hope we shall.


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[Assistant] So the fierce gentleman, I know we shall, I like your looks, they please me. Gentlemen, your hands and names, know me.


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[Assistant] That his name was Dowler, that he was going to bar upon pleasure, that he was formerly in the army, that he had now set up in business as a gentleman, that he lived upon the profits, and that the individual for whom the second place was taken was a personage no less illustrious than Mrs. Dowler, his lady wife.


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[Assistant] She's a fine woman, said Mr. Dowler. I'm proud of her. I have reason.


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[Assistant] I hope I shall have the pleasure of judging, said Mr Pickwick with a smile. You shall, replied Dowler. She shall know you. She shall esteem you. I courted her under singular circumstances. I won her through a rush vow thus.


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[Assistant] I saw her, I loved her, I proposed, she refused me. You love another? Spare my blushes. I know him, you do. Very good. If he remains here, I'll skin him.


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[Assistant] Lord bless me, exclaimed Mr. Pickwick involuntarily. Did you skin the gentleman, sir?


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[Assistant] Inquired Mr. Winkle with a very pale face, I wrote him a note. I said it was a painful thing, and so it was. Certainly, interposed Mr. Winkle.


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[Assistant] I said I had pledged my word as a gentleman to skin him. My character was at stake.


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[Assistant] I had no alternative. As an officer in His Majesty's service, I was bound to skin him. I regretted the necessity, but it must be done. He was open to conviction. He saw that the rules of the service were imperative. He fled. I married her. Here's the coach that's ahead.


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[Assistant] As Mr. Dowler concluded, he pointed to a stage which had just driven up, from the open window of which a rather pretty face in a bright blue bonnet was looking among the crowd on the pavement, most probably for the rash man himself.


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[Assistant] Mr. Dowler paid his bill and had it out with his travelling cap, coat and cloak.


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[Assistant] Mr Winkle had got inside, and Mr Pickwick was preparing to follow him, when Sam Weller came up to his master, and whispering in his ear, begged to speak to him with an air of the deepest mystery. Well Sam, said Mr Pickwick, what's the matter now? Is raither a rum go, sir? replied Sam. What? inquired Mr Pickwick.


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[Assistant] This year, sir, rejoins, uhm, I'm very much afraid, sir, that the proprietor of this year, coach, is applying some inference for this.


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[Assistant] How's that, Sam? said Mr. Pickwick. Aren't the names down on the way, Bill?


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[Assistant] The names is not only down on the way, Bill sir, replied Sam, but they've painted one of them up on the door of the coach.


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[Assistant] As Sam spoke, he pointed to that part of the coach door on which the proprietor's name usually appears.


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[Assistant] And there, sure enough in guilt matters of a goodly size, was the magic name of Pickwick.


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[Assistant] Dear me, exclaimed Mr. Pickwick, quite staggered by the coincidence.


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[Assistant] What an extraordinary thing. Yes, but that ain't all, said Sam, again directing his master's attention to the coach tour. Not content with writing up Pickwick, they put Moses afore it, which I call adding insult to injury.


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[Assistant] It's odd in us, certainly, Sam, said Mr. Pickwick. But if we stand talking here, we shall lose our places. What? I ain't nothing to be done in consequence, sir.


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[Assistant] Exclaimed Sam, perfectly aghast at the coolness with which Mr. Pickwick prepared to ensconce himself inside. Done, said Mr. Pickwick, what should be done?


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[Assistant] Ain't nobody be whopped for takin' us here liberty, sir!


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[Assistant] Said Mr. Weller, who had expected that at least he would have been commissioned to challenge the guard and coachman to a pugilistic encounter on the spot.


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[Assistant] Certainly not, replied Mr. Pickwick Eagley, not on any account. Chomp up to your seat directly.


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[Assistant] Mr Weller shook his head gravely and it is worthy of remark as an illustration of the manner in which he took this circumstance to heart that he did not speak another word until the coach reached the Kensington turnpike.


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[Assistant] Which so long a time for him to remain taciturn, that the fact may be considered wholly unprecedented.


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[Assistant] Nothing worthy of special mention occurred during the journey.


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[Assistant] When Mrs. Dowler invariably brought in, in the form of an appendix, some remarkable fact or circumstance which Mr. Dowler had forgotten, or had perhaps through modesty omitted. For the addender in every instance went to show that Mr. Dowler was even a more wonderful fellow than he made himself out to be.


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[Assistant] Mr. Pickwick and Mr. Winkle listened with great admiration and at intervals conversed with Mrs. Dowler who was a very agreeable and fascinating person.


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[Assistant] So, what between Mr. Dowler's stories and Mrs. Dowler's charms and Mr. Pickwick's good humor and Mr. Winkle's good listening, the insides contrived to be very companionable all the way. The outsides did as outsides always do.


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[Assistant] They were very cheerful and talkative at the beginning of every stage, and very dismal and sleepy in the middle, and very bright and wakeful again towards the end.


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[Assistant] There was one young gentleman in an India rubber cloak who smoked cigars all day. And there was another young gentleman in a parody upon a great coat who light-eared a good many and feeling obviously unsettled after the second whiff threw them away when he thought nobody was looking at him.


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[Assistant] There was a third young man on the box who wished to be learned in cattle.


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[Assistant] And an old one behind who was familiar with farming.


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[Assistant] And at seven o'clock p.m., Mr. Pickwick and his friends, and Mr. Dowler and his wife, respectively retired to their private sitting rooms at the White Hart Hotel, opposite the great pump room bath,


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[Assistant] Where the waiters, from their costume, might be mistaken for Westminster boys. Only they destroy the illusion by behaving themselves much better.


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[Assistant] Breakfast had scarcely been cleared away on the succeeding morning when a waiter brought in Mr. Dowler's card with a request to be allowed permission to introduce a friend.


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[Assistant] The friend was a charming young man of not much more than fifty, dressed in a very bright blue coat with resplendent buttons, black trousers, and the thinnest possible pair of highly polished boots.


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[Assistant] A gold snuff box was lightly clasped in his left hand. Gold rings innumerable glittered on his fingers.


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[Assistant] And a large diamond pin set in gold glistened in his shirt frill.


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[Assistant] He had a gold watch and a gold curb chain with large gold seals and he carried a pliant ebony cane with a heavy gold top.


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[Assistant] His linen was of the very whitest, finest and stiffest. His wig of the glossiest, blackest and curliest.


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[Assistant] Said Mr. Dowler, my friend, Angelo Cyrus, Bantam Esquire MC. Bantam, Mr. Pickwick, know each other.


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[Assistant] Such were the expressions with which Angelo Cyrus, Bantama Squire MC, took Mr. Pickwick's hand, retaining it in his meantime, and shrugging up his shoulders with a constant succession of bows, as if he really could not make up his mind to the trial of letting it go again.


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[Assistant] It is a very long time since I drank the water, certainly, replied Mr. Pickwick, for to the best of my knowledge, I was never here before.


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[Assistant] To my shame, I must say that I am perfectly serious, rejoin Mr. Pickwick. I really never was here before. Oh, I...


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[Assistant] Good, good, better and better. You are the gentleman of whom we've heard yet.


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[Assistant] Resume Bantam, who lost the use of his limbs from imprudently taking...


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[Assistant] Mr. Pickwick acknowledged the compliment, which the supposition implied, but had the self-denial to repudiate it, notwithstanding, and taking advantage of a moment's silence on the part of the emcee, begged to introduce his friends, Mr. Tupman, Mr. Winkle and Mr. Snodgrass.


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[Assistant] The register of the distinguished visitors in Bath will be at the pump room this morning at two o'clock, replied the emcee. Will you guide our friends to that splendid building and enable me to procure their autographs?


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[Assistant] Goodbye, goodbye! And protesting all the way downstairs that he was most satisfied and most delighted and most overpowered and most flattered, Angelo Cyrus Bantamasquire MC stepped into a very elegant chariot that waited at the door and rattled off.


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[Assistant] At the appointed hour, Mr. Pickwick and his friends, escorted by Dowler, repaired to the assembly rooms and wrote their names down in a book.


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[Assistant] Tickets of admission to that evening's assembly were to have been prepared for the whole party.


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[Assistant] But as they were not ready, Mr. Pickwick undertook, despite all the protestations to the contrary of Angelo Bantam, to send Sam for them at four o'clock in the afternoon to the MC's house in Queen Square.


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[Assistant] Having taken a short walk through the city and arrived at the unanimous conclusion that Park Street was very much like the perpendicular streets a man sees in a dream, which he cannot get up for the life of him, they returned to the White Hart and dispatched Sam on the errand to which his master had pledged him.


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[Assistant] Sam Weller put on his hat in a very easy and graceful manner, and thrusting his hands in his waistcoat pockets, walked with great deliberation to Queen Square.


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[Assistant] Whistling as he went along several of the most popular airs of the day, as arranged with entirely new movements for that noble instrument, the organ, either mouth or barrel.


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[Assistant] Arriving at the number in Queen's Square to which he had been directed, he left off whistling and gave a cheerful knock, which was instantaneously answered by a powder-headed footman in gorgeous livery and of symmetrical stature.


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[Assistant] Why, young man, was the haughty inquiry of the powder-headed footman?


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[Assistant] Cause if it is, just you step into him with a, a card and say, Mr. Vellies are waiting, will you, said Sam. And saying it, he very coolly walked into the hall and sat down.


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[Assistant] But both the slam and the skull were lost upon Sam, who was regarding a mahogany umbrella stand with every outward token of critical approval.


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[Assistant] Very good, said Sam. Told the old gentleman not to put himself into perspiration. Now are he six foot? I've had my dinner.


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[Assistant] You dine early sir, said the powder-headed footman.


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[Assistant] Have you been long in bath, sir? Inquired the powder-headed footman. I have not had the pleasure of hearing of you before.


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[Assistant] I haven't created any very surprising sensation ears yet. Rejoin some, for me and the other fashionables only come last night.


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[Assistant] Nice place, sir, said the powder-headed footman. Seems so, observed so. Pleasant society, sir, remarked the powder-headed footman. Very agreeable servant, sir.


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[Assistant] Oh, very much so, sir, indeed, sir, said the powder-headed footman, taking Sam's remark as a high compliment. Very much so, sir, indeed. Do you do anything in this way, sir? Inquired the twelve footman, producing a small snuff-box with a fox's head on the top of it.


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[Assistant] Not without sneezing, replied Sam. Why, it is difficult, sir, I confess, said the tall footman. It may be done by degrees, sir. Coffee is the best practice. I carried coffee, sir, for a long time. It looks very like wrapping, sir.


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[Assistant] Here a sharp peel of the bell reduced the powdered headed footman to the ignominious necessity of putting the fox's head in his pocket and hastening with a humble countenance to Mr. Bantam's study.


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[Assistant] By the by, whoever knew a man who never read or wrote either, who hadn't got some small back parlor, which he would call a study, there is the answer, sir.


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[Assistant] Said the powdered headed footman, I'm afraid you find it inconveniently large.


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[Assistant] You're already obliging, sir, replied Sam. Now, don't allow yourself to be fatigued beyond your powers. There's an amiable being.


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[Assistant] With these pathetic words, Sam Weller departed. The very singular young man that, said the powdered-headed footman.


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[Assistant] Looking after Mr Wello with a countenance which clearly showed he could make nothing of him.


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[Assistant] Sam said nothing at all. He winked, shook his head, smiled, winked again.


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[Assistant] And with an expression of countenance which seemed to denote that he was greatly amused with something or other, walked merrily away.


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[Assistant] Were that he wore a brighter blue coat with a white silk lining, black tights, black silk stockings and pumps, and a white waistcoat, and was, if possible, just a thought more scented.


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[Assistant] Thus attired, the master of the ceremonies, in strict discharge of the important duties of his all-important office, planted himself in the rooms to receive the company.


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[Assistant] Bath being full, the company and the sixpence's for tea poured it in shoals.


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[Assistant] In the ballroom, the long card room, the octagonal card room, the staircases and the passages, the hum of many voices and the sound of many feet were perfectly bewildering.


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[Assistant] Dresses rustled, feathers waved, light shone and jewels sparkled.


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[Assistant] There was the music, not of the quadrille band, for it had not yet commenced, but the music of soft tiny footsteps with now and then a clear merry laugh.


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[Assistant] Low and gentle, but very pleasant to hear in a female voice, whether in bath or elsewhere.


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[Assistant] And look where you would, some exquisite form glided gracefully through the throng, and was no sooner lost than it was replaced by another as dainty and bewitching.


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[Assistant] In the tea room and hovering round the card tables were a vast number of queer old ladies and decrepit old gentlemen discussing all the small talk and scandal of the day with a relish and gusto which sufficiently bespoke the intensity of the pleasure they derive from the occupation.


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[Assistant] ...had already commenced incipient flirtations in the mislaying of scarves, putting on gloves, setting down cups and so forth.


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[Assistant] Slight matters, apparently, but which may be turned to surprisingly good account by expert practitioners.


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[Assistant] And happily thinking themselves the object of general admiration


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[Assistant] A wise and merciful dispensation which no good man will quarrel with.


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[Assistant] Who, not dancing because there were no partners for them, and not playing cards lest they should be set down as irretrievably single, were in the favorable situation of being able to abuse everybody without reflecting on themselves.


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[Assistant] It was a scene of gaiety, ditter and show, of richly dressed people, handsome midders, chalked floors, girandoles and wax candles.


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[Assistant] And in all parts of the scene, gliding from spot to spot in silent softness, bowing obsequiously to this party, nodding familiarly to that, and smiling complacently on all, was the sprucely attired person of Angelo Cyrus Bantamasquire, Master of the Ceremonies. Stop in the tearoom. Take your six minute. They lay on hot water and call it tea. Drink it.


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[Assistant] Said Mr. Dowler in a loud voice, directing Mr. Pickwick, who advanced at the head of the little party, with Mrs. Dowler on his arm.


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[Assistant] Into the tea room Mr. Pickwick turned, and catching sight of him, Mr. Bantam corkscrewed his way through the crowd and welcomed him with ecstasy.


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[Assistant] No less a person I assure you, said the master of the ceremonies. Hush, draw a little nearer, Mr. Pickwick.


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[Assistant] You see the splendidly dressed young man coming this way? The one with the long hair and the particularly small forehead? Inquired Mr. Pickwick. The same, the richest young man in Bath at this moment. Young Lord Muttonhead. You don't say so said Mr. Pickwick. Yes, you'll hear his voice in a moment Mr. Pickwick, he'll speak to me.


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[Assistant] Have you seen his Lordship's mail cart? Bentham inquired the Honourable Mr. Cruston after the short pause, during which Lord Muttonhead had been endeavouring to stare Mr. Pickwick out of countenance, and Mr. Cruston had been reflecting what subject his Lordship could talk about best.


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[Assistant] Dear me, no, replied the emcee. A male cat. What an excellent idea. Remarkable.


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[Assistant] Gracious heavens, said his lordship, I thought everybody had seen the new mail cart. It's the neatest, prettiest, gracefullest thing that ever ran upon wheels, painted red with a queen Bible, with a real box for the letters and all complete.


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[Assistant] At this anecdote, his lordship laughed very heartily, as did the listeners, of course.


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[Assistant] Then, drawing his arm through that of the obsequious Mr. Crustron, Lord Muttonhead walked away. Delightful young man is lordship, said the master of the ceremonies. So I should think. Rejoin Mr. Pickwick, dryly.


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[Assistant] Just at the very moment of their entrance, the dowager lady Snuffinuff and two other ladies of an ancient and wist-like appearance were hovering over an unoccupied card table.


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[Assistant] Then they exchanged glances with each other, seeing that he was precisely the very person they wanted to make up the rubble.


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[Assistant] My dear Bantam, said the dowager lady, snuff enough coaxingly.


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[Assistant] Mr. Pickwick happened to be looking another way at the moment, so her ladyship nodded her head towards him and frowned expressively.


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[Assistant] As the Trump card was turned up at the commencement of the second deal, two young ladies hurried into the room, and they took their stations on either side of Mrs. Colonel Wugsby's chair, where they waited patiently until the hand was over.


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[Assistant] Now Jane, said Mrs. Colonel Wagsby, turning to one of the girls, what is it?


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[Assistant] Ma, whispered the other, who was much older than her sister, and very insipid and artificial, Lord Mattenhead has been introduced to me. I said I thought I wasn't engaged, ma.


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[Assistant] Sweet pet, my love, replied Mrs. Colonel Wugsby, tapping her daughter's cheek with her fan, and are always to be trusted. He's immensely rich, my dear, bless you.


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[Assistant] He had never played with three thalapaste female card players before.


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[Assistant] At which Mrs. Colonel Wugsby would shrug up her shoulders and cough.


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[Assistant] As much as to say she wondered whether he ever would begin.


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[Assistant] Then, at the end of every hand, Ms. Bolo would inquire with a dismal countenance and reproachful sigh why Mr. Pickwick had not returned that diamond, or led the club, or roughed the spade.


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[Assistant] Or finessed the heart, or led through the honour, or brought out the ace, or played up to the king, or some such thing, and reply to all these grave charges, Mr. Pickwick would be wholly unable to plead any justification whatever, having by this time forgotten all about the game. People came and looked on too, which made Mr. Pickwick nervous.


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[Assistant] Besides all this, there was a great deal of distracting conversation near the table between Angela Bantam and the two Miss Matinters who, being single and singular, paid great court to the master of the ceremonies in the hope of getting a stray partner now and then.


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[Assistant] All these things, combined with the noises and interruptions of constant comings in and goings out, made Mr Pickwick play rather badly. The cards were against him also.


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[Assistant] And when they left off at ten minutes past eleven, Ms. Bolo rose from the table considerably agitated and went straight home in a flood of tears in a sit-down chair.


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[Assistant] Being joined by his friends, who one and all protested that they had scarcely ever spent a more pleasant evening, Mr. Pickwick accompanied them to the White Hart. And having soothed his feelings with something hot,


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[Assistant] Went to bed and to sleep almost simultaneously.


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[Assistant] Yeah, and we're also a podcast. So by the way, if you're not watching live, we'll have a podcast version later and please comment in the chat. We'll be watching and we're paying attention to all your comments.


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[Assistant] Alright, what's your top five? Alright, we're starting with number five. Austin Eckler, the Chargers, 911 rushing yards, 12 touchdowns, almost 700 receiving yards, eight touchdowns. He played all 16 games. Versatile, can do it all.


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[Assistant] It's Jonathan Taylor, NFL's rushing leader last year, 1800 rushing yards. That was 600 more than Nick Chubb, who was second in the league. He also had four touchdowns. And this was with Carson Wentz as his quarterback. They were putting eight, nine guys in the box every time he played all 17 waves. To me, it's an easy choice.


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[Assistant] Yeaah, we're gonna start with the first one, we're going G.J. Bullpoke. First bet of the day. Cleveland Indians getting a run and a half on the road against Chicago. You owe a dollar by the way.


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[Assistant] Next game, Suns, Mavs, Suns, 6-point favorites at home. It's tied 2-2. It's taking the Suns a good bet. G. Bush.


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[Assistant] Under 209, is it a good bet to go over? Heat Sixers, G. Bush.


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[Assistant] If you were the Browns GM and could only sign one of the following two players, would you sign Jadevian Clowney or Jarvis Landry?


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[Assistant] We actually got an email submission for this one. If you have a question you want us to answer, email us at ucss at wkyc.com. But this one was an email submission from Leah Musgrave. Are there more chairs or people in the world?


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[Assistant] Harvard dares us to dream big, to aspire to change the world. Here on this commencement day,


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[Assistant] We are probably thinking of the grand destinations and the big adventures that await us.


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[Assistant] As for me, I am also thinking of the farmers in my village.


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[Assistant] Because by using the science we already have, we could probably bring my village and thousands like it into the world you and I take for granted every day.


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[Assistant] And that's an impact every one of us can make. But the question is will we make the effort or not? More than ever before.


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[Assistant] But an equally important emphasis should be on distributing the knowledge we have to those who need it.


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[Assistant] It can be as simple as becoming better communicators and finding more creative ways to pass on the knowledge we have to people like my mom and farmers in a local community.


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[Assistant] Then perhaps a teenager in rural China who is bitten by a poisonous spider will no longer have to burn his hand, but will know to seek a doctor instead.


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[Assistant] Today's program ends here. Thank you for listening.


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[Assistant] Showing, among other matters, how Mr. Pickwick undertook to drive and Mr. Winkle to ride, and how they both did it.


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[Assistant] Bright and pleasant was the sky, balmy the air, and beautiful the appearance of every object around as Mr. Pickwick lent over the balustrades of Rochester Bridge, contemplating nature and waiting for breakfast.


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[Assistant] And in some overhanging the narrow beach below in rude and heavy masses.


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[Assistant] Huge knots of seaweed hung upon the jagged and pointed stones, trembling in every breath of wind, and the green ivy clung mournfully around the dark and ruined battlements. Behind it rose the ancient castle.


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[Assistant] On either side, the banks of the Medway covered with cornfields and pastures,


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[Assistant] And the oars of the fisherman dipped into the water with a clear and liquid sound as the heavy but picturesque boats glided slowly down the stream.


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[Assistant] Mr. Pickwick was roused from the agreeable reverie into which he had been led by the objects before him by a deep sigh and a touch on his shoulder. He turned round and the dismal man was at his side, contemplating the scene, inquired the dismal man. I was, said Mr. Pickwick.


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[Assistant] And congratulating yourself on being up so soon. Mr. Pickwick nodded his scent. Ahh.


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[Assistant] What would I forfeit to have the days of my childhood restored, or to be able to forget them forever? You have seen too much trouble, sir, said Mr. Pickwick compassionately. I have.


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[Assistant] Said the dismal man hurriedly, I have more than those who see me now would believe possible. He paused for an instant and then said abruptly, did it ever strike you on such a morning as this that drowning would be happiness and peace? God bless me, no, replied Mr. Pickwick.


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[Assistant] Edging a little from the balustrade as the possibility of the dismal man's tipping him over by way of experiment occurred to him rather forcibly. I have thought so often, said the dismal man without noticing the action.


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[Assistant] The sunken eye of the dismal man flashed brightly as he spoke, but the momentary excitement quickly subsided


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[Assistant] You invited me to read that paper the night before last and listened attentively while I did so.


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[Assistant] So the dismal man, interrupting him, and I want none. You are travelling for amusement and instruction.


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[Assistant] Mr. Pickwick found that his three companions had risen and were waiting his arrival to commence breakfast, which was ready laid in tempting display.


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[Assistant] They sat down to the meal, and broiled ham, eggs, tea, coffee, and sundries began to disappear, with a rapidity which had once more testimony to the excellence of the fair, and the appetites of its consumers.


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[Assistant] Now, about Manafarm, said Mr. Pickwick, how shall we go? We'd better consult the waiter, perhaps, said Mr. Topman, and the waiter was summoned accordingly. Dingly-dow, gentlemen.


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[Assistant] Seat for two behind, one in front for the general with the drives. Oh! Beg your pardon sir, that'll only hold three. That's to be done, said Mr. Snodgrass.


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[Assistant] In the very lowest recesses of his own heart relative to his equestrian skill.


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[Assistant] But as they would not have had them even suspected on any account, he had once replied with great hardyhood, certainly, I should enjoy it of all things. Mr. Winkle had rushed upon his fate. There was no resource. Let them be at the door by 11, said Mr. Pickwick. Very well, sir, replied the waiter. The waiter retired. The breakfast concluded.


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[Assistant] And the travelers ascended to their respective bedrooms to prepare a change of clothing to take with them on their approaching expedition.


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[Assistant] With a low place like a wine bin for two behind and an elevated perch for one in front.


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[Assistant] Drawn by an immense brown horse displaying great symmetry of bone.


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[Assistant] An ostler stood near, holding by the bridle another immense horse, apparently a near relative of the animal in the chaise, ready saddled for Mr. Winkle. Bless my soul.


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[Assistant] Not the slightest fear, sir. Interposed, the Ostler.


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[Assistant] Place the reins in Mr. Pickwick's left hand, and the upper ostler thruster whip into his right.


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[Assistant] Whoa! cried Mr. Pickwick as the tall quadruped evinced a decided inclination to back into the coffee room window. Whoa! echoed Mr. Tupman and Mr. Snodgrass from the bin. Only as playful as gentlemen.


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[Assistant] Said the ed-ossler, encouragingly, just, catch hold on him, William. The deputy restrained the animals in petuosity, and the principal ran to assist Mr. Winkle in mounting. To the other side, if you please.


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[Assistant] Whispered a grinning postboy to the inexpressibly gratified waiter.


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[Assistant] Inquired Mr. Pickwick with an inward presentiment that it was all wrong. All right, replied Mr. Winkle, faintly. Let him go, cried the Ostler. Hold him in, sir.


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[Assistant] And away went the Shays and the Saddle Horse, with Mr. Pickwick on the box of the one, and Mr. Winkle on the back of the other, to the delight and gratification of the hole in yard.


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[Assistant] replied Mr. Winkle. His horse was drifting up the street in the most mysterious manner, side first, with his head towards one side of the way and his tail towards the other.


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[Assistant] He had a singular propensity for darting suddenly every now and then to the side of the road, then stopping short, and then rushing forward for some minutes at a speed which it was wholly impossible to control.


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[Assistant] Mr. Snodgrass was about to reply when he was interrupted by a shout from Mr. Pickwick. Whoa! Said the gentleman. I dropped my whip. Winkle.


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[Assistant] Said Mr. Snodgrass as the equestrian came trotting up on the tall horse with his hat over his ears and shaking all over as if he would shake to pieces with the violence of the exercise. Pick up the whip, there's a good fellow.


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[Assistant] By whatever motives the animal was actuated,


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[Assistant] It is certain it is that Mr. Winkle had no sooner touched the reins than he slipped them over his head and darted backwards to their full length.


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[Assistant] Poor fellow, said Mr. Winkle soothingly. Poor fellow. Good old horse.


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[Assistant] The poor fellow was proof against flattery. The more Mr Winkle tried to get nearer him, the more he sidled away.


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[Assistant] And notwithstanding all kinds of coaxing and wheedling, there were Mr. Winkle and the horse going round and round each other for ten minutes, at the end of which time each was at precisely the same distance from the other as when they first commenced.


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[Assistant] An unsatisfactory sort of thing under any circumstances, but particularly so in a lonely road where no assistance can be procured.


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[Assistant] You'd better lead him till we come to a turnpike, replied Mr Pickwick from the Shays. But he won't come, roared Mr Winkle. Do come and hold him.


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[Assistant] At a rather quicker rate than fast walking in the direction from which they'd just come. Mr Pickwick ran to his assistance, but the faster Mr Pickwick ran forward, the faster the horse ran backward.


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[Assistant] There was a great scraping of feet and kicking up of the dust, and at last Mr Winkle, his arms being nearly pulled out of their sockets, fairly let go his hold. The horse paused, stared, shook his head, turned round, and quietly trotted home to Rochester, leaving Mr Winkle and Mr Pickwick


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[Assistant] Gazing on each other with countenance is a blank dismay.


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[Assistant] A rattling noise at a little distance attracted their attention. They looked up. Bless my soul!


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[Assistant] Exclaimed the agonized Mr. Pickwick, there's the other horse running away. It was but too true.


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[Assistant] The animal was startled by the noise and the rains were on his back. The result may be guessed.


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[Assistant] The first care of the two unspilled friends was to extricate their unfortunate companions from their bed of Kwikset.


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[Assistant] The next thing to be done was to unharness the horse.


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[Assistant] This complicated process, having been affected, the party walked slowly forward, leading the horse among them and abandoning the chaise to its fate.


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[Assistant] And I was walking, brought the travellers to a little roadside public house with two elm trees, a horse trough,


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[Assistant] And to him, Mr. Pickwick called lustily, Hello there! The redheaded man raised his body, shaded his eyes with his hand,


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[Assistant] Wanted to put that ear all sucked, do he? Repeated the red-headed man, leaning on his spade.


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[Assistant] Of course, replied Mr. Pickwick, who had by this time advanced horse in hand the garden rails.


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[Assistant] Messes! roared the man with the red head, emerging from the garden and looking very hard at the horse. Messes!


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[Assistant] A tall bony woman, straight all the way down, in a coarse blue pelice with a waist an inch or two below her armpits, responded to the call. Can we put this horse up here, my good woman?


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[Assistant] Said Mr. Tupman, advancing and speaking in his most seductive tones.


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[Assistant] The woman looked very hard at the whole party, and the red-headed man whispered something in her ear. No, replied the woman after a little consideration. I'm afraid on it. Afraid, exclaimed Mr Pickwick, what's the woman afraid of?


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[Assistant] It got us in trouble last time, said the woman turning into the house. I won't have nothing to say to him. Best extraordinary thing I've ever met with in my life, said the astonished Mr Pickwick.


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[Assistant] Mr Winkle modestly repeated his suggestion. Hello! You fellow!


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[Assistant] So the angry Mr. Pickwick, do you think we stole this horse? I'm sure you did.


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[Assistant] It's like a dream. Ejaculated Mr. Pickwick, a hideous dream.


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[Assistant] And even when they were so near their place of destination, the pleasure they would otherwise have experienced was materially damp.


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[Assistant] As they reflected on the singularity of their appearance and the absurdity of their situation. Torn clothes.


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[Assistant] Lacerated faces, dusty shoes, exhausted looks, and above all the horse. Oh, Mr. Pickwick hated that horse.


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[Assistant] By the sudden appearance of two figures at the turn of the lane.


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[Assistant] So you've been spilled, eh? Never mind, common accident in these parts. Joe, he's asleep again. Joe!


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[Assistant] Take that horse from the gentleman that leaded it into the stable. The fat boy sauntered heavily behind them with the animal.


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[Assistant] Mr. Snodgrass, having concluded his ablutions, took a survey of the room while standing with his back to the fire, sipping his cherry brandy with heartfelt satisfaction.


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[Assistant] And a silver watch of equal antiquity dangled from one of the many hooks which ornamented the dresser. Ready?


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[Assistant] Said the old gentleman inquiringly when his guests had been washed, mended, brushed and branded. Quite replied Mr. Pickwick. Come along then.


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[Assistant] And the party, having traversed several dark passages, and being joined by Mr. Tupman, who had lingered behind a snatchy kiss from Emma,


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[Assistant] Why, she sang terribly just six months ago.


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[Assistant] But I would like to rest alone for a while, please.


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[Assistant] I planted corn too early in a bottomland so flood-prone that neighbors laughed.


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[Assistant] I felt chagrined at wasted effort. Summer turned brutal.


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[Assistant] The worst heat wave and drought in my lifetime. The air conditioner died. The well went dry. The marriage ended. The job lost. The money gone. I was leaving lyrics from a country tune. Music I lost.


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[Assistant] Only a surging Kansas City Royals team bound for their first World Series. Buied my spirits. Looking back on that horrible summer.


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[Assistant] I soon understood that all succeeding good things merely offset bad, worse than normal wouldn't last long.


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[Assistant] They reinvigorate me for the next nasty surprise and offer assurance that I can thrive.


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[Assistant] That winter, my crib overflowed with corn.


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[Assistant] Fat, healthy, three to a stock ears, filled with kernels from heel to tip.


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[Assistant] Well, my neighbors feels you did only brown empty husks.


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[Assistant] Although plantings past may have fallen below the 50% expectation.


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[Assistant] Today's show ends here. Thank you for listening.


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[Assistant] People wait for buses. Buses don't wait for people. That's the way things is.


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[Assistant] Johnny, you've got to give yourself up before Mad Cat's here. Go get him. Go get you too.


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[Assistant] Down in that valley, that valley.


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[Assistant] Or springtime will pass, dear.


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[Assistant] It was emotionally draining and we were both choking back tears as we spoke.


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[Assistant] I learned that day that Jenny's husband, Garth, was Darcy's natural father as well.


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[Assistant] Patricia and Darcy were truly full genetic sisters.


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[Assistant] Afterwards, I sat down and had a good cry.


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[Assistant] I wasn't feeling insecure or threatened.


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[Assistant] As an adoptive mom, I always knew that someday my children might want to find their natural parents.


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[Assistant] I had just hoped that they wouldn't find out that their mother had died of overdose, or that their dad was in jail.


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[Assistant] Jenny and Garth seem to be fine people, and I was as pleased as could be.


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[Assistant] Patricia had been in my class for a whole year and I knew a fair bit about her life.


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[Assistant] Jenny had asked me to tell Darcy if I wanted to.


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[Assistant] Darcy, I spoke to your birth mother on Friday.


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[Assistant] She was shocked and totally speechless.


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[Assistant] When I explained that I'd actually met Jenny on several occasions, she wondered if she looked like her. As the week passed,


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[Assistant] Look, Darcy, it took Jenny almost a whole year to decide to call me. Please take all the time you want. There is no pressure to make a decision. A few months later, she felt ready, but definitely wanted me with her. I was glad about this. Adoption doesn't just happen to the baby, it happens to the parents too.


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[Assistant] Father has committed a criminal act. He's left you behind to deal with the consequences.


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[Assistant] That's not true, I snapped my voice trembling with rage. I couldn't believe Dad would intentionally leave us at the mercy of police, of course. But the idea of him abandoning me, well, as I might have mentioned, that's a bit of a sore point. Dear, please, Gran told me. The inspector's only doing his job. Badly, I said.


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[Assistant] Let's all have some tea, Gran suggested. No! Carter and I yelled it once, which made me feel bad for Gran as she practically wilted into the sofa.


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[Assistant] We can charge you, the inspector warned, turning on me. We can and we will. He froze. Then he blinked several times as if he'd forgotten what he was doing. Gramps frowned. Uh, Inspector? Yes, Chief Inspector Williams murmured dreamily.


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[Assistant] He reached in his pocket and took out a little blue booklet, an American passport. He threw it in Carter's lap. You're being deported, the inspector announced.


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[Assistant] You're to leave the country within 24 hours. If we need to question you further, you'll be contacted through the FBI. Carter's mouth fell open.


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[Assistant] He looked at me and I knew I wasn't imagining how odd this was.


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[Assistant] The inspector had completely changed direction. He'd been about to arrest us. I was sure of it.


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[Assistant] Are you sure? Quiet, Linley. The two of you may go.


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[Assistant] The cops hesitated until Williams made a shooing motion with his hand. Then they left, closing the door behind them.


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[Assistant] My father's disappeared and you want me to leave the country?


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[Assistant] Your father is either dead or a fugitive, son, the inspector said. Deportation is the kindest option. It's already been arranged. With whom? Gramps demanded. Who authorized this? With... the inspector got that funny blank look again. With... the proper authorities. Believe me, it's better than prison. Carter looked too devastated to speak.


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[Assistant] But before I could feel sorry for him, Inspector Williams turned to me. You too miss. He might as well have hit me with a sledgehammer.


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[Assistant] You're an American citizen, and under the circumstances it's best for you to return home. I just stared at him. I couldn't remember any home except this flat.


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[Assistant] I can't believe, I'll give you some time to say goodbye, the inspector interrupted. Then he frowned as it baffled by his own actions. I, I must be going.


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[Assistant] This made no sense and the inspector seemed to realize it but he walked to the front door anyway.


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[Assistant] He'd lost his trench coat and hat somewhere, but was still wearing the same pinstripe suit and round glasses, his braided hair glittered with gold beads.


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[Assistant] I thought the inspector would say something or express surprise, but he didn't even acknowledge Amos. He walked right past him and into the night. Amos came inside and closed the door. Gran and Gramps stood up. You, Gramps growled, I should have known.


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[Assistant] If I was younger, I would beat you to a pulp. Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Faust, Amos said.


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[Assistant] He looked at Carter and me as if we were problems to be solved. It's time we had a talk. Amos made himself right at home. He flopped onto the sofa and poured himself tea.


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[Assistant] I thought Gramps' head would explode. His face went bright red. He came up behind Amos and raised his hand as if he were about to smack him, but Amos kept munching his biscuit. Please sit down, he told us. And we all sat.


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[Assistant] Even Gramps dropped his hand and moved round the sofa. He sat next to Amos with a disgusted sigh.


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[Assistant] He did, in fact, have biscuit crumbs on his face, but he apparently didn't care as he didn't bother to check. I am no stranger, Sadie, he said. Don't you remember?


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[Assistant] It was creepy hearing him talk to me in such a familiar way. I felt I should know him.


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[Assistant] You can't take Sadie. We had an agreement. Julius broke that agreement tonight. Emma said, you know you can't care for Sadie anymore. Not after what's happened. Their only chance is to come with me.


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[Assistant] Why should we come anywhere with you? Carter asked. You almost got in a fight with Dad. Amos looked at the work bag in Carter's lap. I see you kept your father's bag. That's good. You'll need it.


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[Assistant] As for getting into fights, Julius and I did that quite a lot.


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[Assistant] If you didn't notice, Carter, I was trying to stop him from doing something rash.


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[Assistant] If he'd listened to me, we wouldn't be in this situation. I had no idea what he was on about, but Gramps apparently understood. You and your superstitions, he said. I told you we want none of it. Amos pointed to the black patio.


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[Assistant] Through the glass doors, you could see the lights shining on the Thames.


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[Assistant] It was quite a nice view at night when you couldn't notice how rundown some of the buildings were. Superstition, is it? Amos asked.


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[Assistant] And yet you found a place to live on the east bank of the river. Gramps turned even redder. That was Ruby's idea. Thought he would protect us. But she was wrong about many things, wasn't she? She trusted Julius and you for one. Amos looked unfazed.


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[Assistant] He smelled interesting, like old timey spices, copal and amber, like the incense shops in Covent Garden. He finished his tea and looked straight at Gran. Mrs. Faust, you know what's begun. The police are the least of your worries. Gran swallowed.


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[Assistant] You changed that inspector's mind. You made him deport Sadie. It was that or see the children arrested, Amos said. Hang on, I said.


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[Assistant] You changed Inspector Williams's mind? How? Amos shrugged. It's not permanent. In fact, we should get to New York in the next hours.


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[Assistant] Did you already look this one up, Sam? I don't wanna know if you did. I mean, I don't wanna know what it is if you did look it up.


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[Assistant] You're in the presence of octopus royalty, a low born thug like you could never defeat me. Hmm, might as well make the most of this music.


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[Assistant] Setzer, we need your help. We have to go to Vector. We need this ship to get there. Look, if you're not Maria, I don't want you aboard. Wait!


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[Assistant] We were told your ship is the finest vessel in the world. And that you were the world's most notorious gambler.


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[Assistant] It looks like about 45,000 people. You set a record today.


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[Assistant] Has no better citizens than its boy scouts.


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[Assistant] You know, I go to Washington, and I see all these politicians, and I see the swamp.


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[Assistant] Secretary Tom Price is also here and he's doing a great job and hopefully he's going to get the votes tomorrow to start our path toward killing this horrible thing known as Obamacare. By the way, you gonna get the votes? He better get them. He better get them.


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[Assistant] Ah, you bet. Otherwise I'll say, Tom, you're fired!


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[Assistant] Loyal. We could use some more loyalty, I will tell you that.


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[Assistant] And he was a very successful man, became unbelievable, he was a home builder, became an unbelievable success.


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[Assistant] And got more and more successful. And he did this for 20 years, and then he was offered a lot of money for his company.


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[Assistant] And he sold his company for a tremendous amount of money. And he went out and bought a big yacht.


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[Assistant] And he had a very interesting life. I won't go any more than that because you're Boy Scouts, so I'm not gonna tell you what he did.


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[Assistant] Should I tell you? Should I tell you? Oh, you boy scouts, but you know life. You know life.


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[Assistant] And by the way, under the Trump administration, you'll be saying Merry Christmas again when you go shopping, believe me. Merry Christmas.


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[Assistant] But it seems like my plan has failed.


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[Assistant] You don't worry. I'll pay you.


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[Assistant] Unfortunately, you know, he didn't get past the first formation, you know, he had to kind of stand there.


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[Assistant] My resignation is ready any time you appoint another man. I know, but Bob! And I'll tell you who that man is going to be. And why, now Bob.


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[Assistant] But there will be considerable excitement when you've appointed this man I have in mind. Who do you mean? You know, John, the job of police commissioner in this town is a tough one. But I know a man who likes it that way. Captain Murray of the 15th Precinct. The public wants him, the press is boosting him, and you're going to appoint him whether you like it or not.


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[Assistant] Murray will make you an excellent commissioner. He's a policeman, not a politician.


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[Assistant] Don't mention it, Taggart. You won't be getting in my way anymore.


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[Assistant] More the number of books you read, your mind will open up like never before.


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[Assistant] Within no time, you start speaking English or any language fluently with your friends or other people, and you never seem to run out of the right words at the right time.


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[Assistant] Actually, I had a problem in speaking English fluently.


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[Assistant] But as I read, I could improve significantly.


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[Assistant] I am still on the path of improvement to crunch my thirst for satisfaction. So guys,


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[Assistant] Chapter 15 Eric's Sacrifice Christine reached out and turned the scorpion.


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[Assistant] All the gunpowder was at the bottom of the lake now. She stood very still, staring at the ground.


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[Assistant] When she looked up at Eric, it was with a look of pure hatred. She stared at him and did not look away.


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[Assistant] She had pitied him before, but now she hated him.


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[Assistant] Christine hated everything he had done to her and to her lover.


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[Assistant] For the first time in his life, Eric felt frightened.


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[Assistant] He had never seen anyone look at him that way before.


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[Assistant] Christine walked over to Eric and looked him in the face. She spoke quietly in a deadly cold voice. She said,


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[Assistant] Something broke inside of Eric. He realized the meaning of love. Christine truly loved Raoul. He knew now that in seeking her love, he had made her fear and then hate him.


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[Assistant] He could not bear that the one person he loved hated him so deeply.


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[Assistant] In that moment, Eric's love of revenge and hatred and his desire to keep Christine left him. Eric pulled on a lever. It stopped the water from filling up the cellar.


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[Assistant] He opened another trap door and grabbed the Persian and Raul. He had saved them.


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[Assistant] With a cry of joy, Christine ran over and helped him lift the two people out of the water.


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[Assistant] Go, he cried. He stared at her with eyes full of regret and pain. Take them and leave me. Christine didn't move. She could not believe it. Was Eric really letting them go? Go now, I tell you, he cried. Leave me alone and never come back.


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[Assistant] This time Christine grabbed Raoul and the Persian and began dragging them away.


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[Assistant] After a long time she got them to the first floor of the opera house. There, both men soon awoke.


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[Assistant] Soon after this, Christine and Raoul left Paris.


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[Assistant] The Phantom of the Opera was never seen again.


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[Assistant] There were no more strange incidents in the opera house, which made Richard and Montchermin very happy. People discovered the underground house on the lake, but no one knew who had lived there.


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[Assistant] Christine wanted to escape from the sad memories of what had happened in Paris.


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[Assistant] After a time, she no longer hated Eric for what he had done. She understood and pitied him once more.


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[Assistant] She thought of him sometimes and hoped in her heart that he was at peace.


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[Assistant] Some people said that these two lovers took a train into the north.


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[Assistant] They were rumored to have gone to the far-off country to marry and live together.


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[Assistant] It is said that if you visit the part of that country where Raoul and Christine lived, you will meet their descendants.


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[Assistant] All of these people have Christine's beautiful voice.


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[Assistant] You would certainly have thought I was a nerd. I was one of the kids in my science class who liked to present articles from the Scientific American in fact, which was a weekly thing, but I was one of the few who really wanted to do it. But I began announcing to my friends and family that I was going to be a mathematician when I was 12. And I don't remember how that came about.


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[Assistant] Well, my father was a theoretical physicist, a mathematical physicist, student of Eugene Wigner, so they were all around me.


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[Assistant] And I think actually, why mathematics? I think it was sort of the right distance from physics at the time. Though later on, I thought I would be a joint math physics major in college.


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[Assistant] And I got in over my head in physics and finally fled. I didn't like labs. And then I took a mathematical physics course, a graduate course, which I was sure I was going to fail.


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[Assistant] They were all kinds of special functions and equations I had no notion about, but I happened to read about vortices the night before the exam.


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[Assistant] And vortices have the funny property that the more energy is in them the more slowly they propagate. And I knew that. And I got an A as a result.


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[Assistant] Oddly enough, I don't think there was a concrete dream associated with it. I wanted to be like my father. And he sat in the room a lot, with a pad.


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[Assistant] Quite exciting, and then later on he taught me how to prove elementary geometric things like Euclid propositions using vectors. And I won some science fair prize for that. That early bonding with him.


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[Assistant] Was enormously central, I think, in my choice.


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[Assistant] By that time I was good at it. When I was in fourth grade, I was in the...


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[Assistant] Very last group in arithmetic in the class. For a good reason actually. And I remember I somehow got into the next to the last group and the teacher complimented me on my great achievement.


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[Assistant] I was adding my own way. I was adding from left to right rather than right to left. Of course I was inaccurate and approximate and that was not considered okay.


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[Assistant] I don't remember any, any comment from him one way or the other. I think he was happy that I took this path, but I don't remember any concrete conversation. My mother said she always hoped that he would push me towards science and therefore I would be a writer, which was her dream. She was a psychoanalyst, also very important in my early life.


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[Assistant] I don't know really, I wrote some short stories early on.


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[Assistant] I write a lot now in my current job and, you know, I've written a lot of books and a lot of papers by now. So I consider myself a writer in a way, and I think a lot about style and writing, but I...


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[Assistant] Never aspired to write fiction, although I read fiction a lot. I like fiction a lot.


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[Assistant] And he was working there, but my mother's sister had been a genuine communist. And he was called in one day into his boss's office and asked to name her friends. And he refused and was immediately fired. And then he couldn't get a, an academic job for 10 years.


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[Assistant] This was in 47. They wandered a bit and I grew up.


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[Assistant] Anyway, then in 57, he began to get academic offers. Actually, he wanted Brandeis, which he turned down in order to go to Stony Brook.


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[Assistant] And he was one of the founders of the Stony Brook department, which is now very illustrious. Okay. He did a lot for that. He recruited Dirac for example, to come to that department for a year as a visitor. Wow. All right. My parents knew Dirac and his wife who was being his sister pretty well.


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[Assistant] So I skipped a couple of grades in high school. I was sick of high school in my junior year.


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[Assistant] And in April of my junior year, I decided I would like to go to college the next year instead of going on to be a senior in high school. And so it was too late to apply in much of anywhere.


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[Assistant] But somehow my parents knew people at Harvard, so they were willing to look at me and they decided no. Which was, I think, extremely lucky for me actually. Also at Chicago, somehow I got an interview.


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[Assistant] And, uh, they did take me, they had a habit of taking early young kids, so I entered there when I was 16 and was already mostly paying attention to mathematics and music, not so much anything else.


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[Assistant] I was young, most kids enter at 18. I wasn't the youngest person in the room.


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[Assistant] I was pretty good. Chicago had a very rigid system, lots of requirements and I placed out of them and so took math classes and pretty soon graduate classes.


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[Assistant] Oh, so you could take an exam instead of taking the course and took the exam and I was good enough and so I didn't have to take the course. Alright. Got out of the requirement.


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[Assistant] I'm sure Chicago still does that today. Lots of places do it.


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[Assistant] All universities have placement exams, usually to place people into the lower level where they really belong instead of the higher level where they want to go, but it works both ways.


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[Assistant] So certainly it was very clear to me that I was doing mathematics and soon it was clear that I was not doing physics. So that was clarifying. There were no other questions in my life actually. I thought just before I went to college, I thought I might be a professional musician.


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[Assistant] And that was a lucky thing. I didn't choose that. Well, we don't, you don't know. You could have been world famous. First of all, I don't think I had the talent. I was a flutist. And second, the life is miserable compared to, at least compared to a happy academic. Academic lives can be difficult.


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[Assistant] Again, I don't remember any such discussion. I certainly told him, must have told him my relief of passing this course. But yea, I remembered my terror to this day, very clearly.


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[Assistant] Yeah, basically, right? The two memories of teachers I have from that era, both of whom influenced me a lot, and where they couldn't have been more different, one was Antony Zygmunt, who was a very famous analyst, built like a plumber, somehow short and very compact and solid looking, and, uh, Paul.


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[Assistant] I remember he used to stand in the ramrod stiff at the edge of the common room when it was his seminar time and clap twice in the air and turn his back and walk out.


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[Assistant] And all the analysts would troop along after him. And he was just a lucid lecture, incredibly beautiful, repaired lectures. This was Le Beg integral that I took from him and it was a graduate course.


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[Assistant] And I took, but just in beautiful, beautiful talk. And the other course.


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[Assistant] Was taught by Otto Kegel, who was the most disorganized person.


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[Assistant] He was teaching an elementary kind of algebra class, a second course in.


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[Assistant] In linear algebra, but he had decided to do it in a very abstract way before which I was not ready, nor was the class, I think.


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[Assistant] Also, this is a course about vectors. A vector begins with a V.


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[Assistant] And so typically in that class every letter is a V or a W.


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[Assistant] There was complete chaos and confusion, but somehow his enthusiasm for the subject and love of it was just infectious. So at the end of my, I also finished college in three years, and at the end of my time, my parents said, well, you can go to Europe if you want.


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[Assistant] Oh, it's real juvenilia. It was on order, automorphisms of infinite ordered sets. Yeah, I think I've read that one. Someone did read it, but not many.


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[Assistant] So you went to work with this man just because. Cause I was so excited by his presence somehow. Right. And it was a good choice too. He gave me this problem. He helped me into it and let me run. I was a terrible nuisance. I mean.


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[Assistant] I couldn't stop talking about this subject, and so...


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[Assistant] More or less I wrote to him of course to say I would like to come.


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[Assistant] But it was an interesting summer. Reinhold Baer was a very famous man. So Kegel was assistant.


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[Assistant] My bear at that time. That's a whole class of people we don't have here. But the assistants...


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[Assistant] Just an assistant had positions and they were more or less the servants of the professor. And at that time still the system was in the old style and so some of Bear's assistants took his wife shopping for example, which would no longer be tolerated but was then quite normal.


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[Assistant] And also, Bayer took his whole mathematical family, which included me as the very junior member, to this conference center called Oberwulfach. At that time, a senior professor in Germany.


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[Assistant] You know, you could be a proper professor, which was pretty good already, or you could be a professor with Week at Oberwolf.


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[Assistant] So, he had a sort of right to bring his mathematical family.


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[Assistant] And it was wonderful. And it was a, you know, this place in the Black Forest. I've gone back.


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[Assistant] School experience. It has an unusual twist, I think. I started working under somebody I don't need to name.


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[Assistant] And I've discovered that I really didn't like him personally. Just, I ran away. So I took the advice of one of my fellow students, which was,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And work with that person, you'll like the subject soon enough.


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[Assistant] So that's what I did. Is that good advice? For some people it's very good advice, I think.


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[Assistant] Yes, I tell students that, not exactly that now, I tell them to look around.


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[Assistant] And find the group of students who have seemed most integrated and happy together.


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[Assistant] And work in that area, if they like the area at least. Okay. Saunders McLean was then my target and he was a wonderful guy.


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[Assistant] I was one of his last students of many, many. He was a very forthright, sort of honest, direct person. He was a wonderful lecturer. I have to tell you, my first meeting with him, I was a, you know, a precocious undergraduate, so I came to class early. So at the beginning of the semester, there I am, sitting in the front row, waiting for people to show up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I'm working on something, reading something, I'm completely oblivious.


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[Assistant] To the environment. And so finally professor walks in.


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[Assistant] It's McLean. I didn't know him at the time at all. I didn't know that he wasn't teaching that course. And I was in the wrong room.


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[Assistant] So, McLean started talking about category theory, which was his passion.


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[Assistant] Paying attention. Why did you not leave? Why did I not leave? I don't know, embarrassment. I was sitting in the front row.


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[Assistant] Famous professor, all these people around. Maybe I was interested in being a spectator too.


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[Assistant] Anyway, at a certain point, McLean, who was very proud of being aware of his audience and what they were understanding, I looked up and there he was pointing at me.


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[Assistant] And he said, you, you didn't believe that proof, did you? So of course I was paralyzed.


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[Assistant] At that point, I didn't say anything. And so he went back to the blackboard and proved it again to what he thought was my satisfaction. And then the lecture could proceed. But years later at his 75th birthday party, I reenacted this scene with him, with him in the audience and he denied everything.


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[Assistant] I liked him a lot. I listened to all his classes. I really admired him. And he was a big shot around the department too. So I decided I would work with him.


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[Assistant] I guess he'd, I had a reputation of being an interesting student somehow. I don't know the answer to that question, but we liked each other. We became quite good friends. So I thought I would work in category theory, which was his thing. And it didn't really work.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I kept thinking of different problems. I never found a problem in category three that I really liked. And then he went away for a quarter.