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[Assistant] Alright, now let's draw his legs. We're gonna draw the bottom of his pants first. So we're gonna draw a straight line that comes up, curves over his foot, and back down.


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[Assistant] Let's do the same thing over here, but this one I'm going to aim towards his, his arm. So we're going diagonal and we're going to go down and then we can connect it into the snowboard. This is the bottom of his pants and we could also draw one more wrinkle. We're going to draw another one that comes. I'm going to go up and then diagonal back down, almost like an A shape. And we can do that same thing on this side over here.


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[Assistant] Yeaah, cool. Alright, now let's draw his leg. We're gonna draw a curve, an upside down U, that's gonna come up, touch his arm, and then curve back around and end.


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[Assistant] That's his knee. The top of his knee is up by his shoulder. Then we're going to draw his leg connecting into his arm. So we're going to draw coming in about halfway up his arm.


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[Assistant] So it's about halfway. Yeaah. And then down here we're gonna draw the bottom of his leg.


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[Assistant] Coming down and connecting to his arm also.


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[Assistant] And then right here, we're going to imagine this line going behind his arm and then connecting to his leg.


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[Assistant] Cool. Alright, now let's draw his body. We're going to draw the front of his chest, and it connects up to his chin, and then we're going to draw his back. And it's a curved line, comes right into his leg.


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[Assistant] Now let's draw his right arm and it's going to come out from his chin.


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[Assistant] Now let's draw his wrist or the end of his coat and where his glove starts. Then we can draw his thumb and we're going to draw a small u inside of his arm.


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[Assistant] And then we can draw those little, those three little lines for his fingers. So one, two, and then I'm going to draw the third one over here.


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[Assistant] He's looking really cool. Let's add a few more details. I'm going to draw a zipper that's coming down the front of his chest.


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[Assistant] Then we can also draw his hood sticking out the back over here. So I'm going to draw a curve that comes around and back in to his jacket.


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[Assistant] And also over here on this arm for his other wrist.


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[Assistant] Let's draw a line going down the side of his jacket, the side of his arm.


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[Assistant] And then I'm also going to draw that line curving back into his knee.


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[Assistant] Alright dude, we did it! We finished drawing our snowboarder. He turned out awesome, except he's gonna look even cooler once we do wood. Color him! Yeah, we gotta color him. Now this part we're gonna fast forward, but at the end you guys can pause it to match the same color.


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[Assistant] Alright Jack, good job man. You did it. You finished coloring your snowboarder and it turned out awesome. Did you have fun? Yeaah. I like all the customization you did. You had a lot of fun putting that stripe in there. Yeaah. You guys at home can use your imagination.


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[Assistant] We'll see you later our friends. Goodbye! If you had fun following along in this lesson, be sure to subscribe to our YouTube channel by clicking the circle. Then you can click the bell to get notified every time we upload new videos. I've also picked out these two other lessons I thought you'd really enjoy. Don't forget to take a photo of your child's finished artwork and share it on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter because we want to see how awesome it turned out.


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[Assistant] They made the NBA Finals two years in a row earlier in the decade, but were bitch slapped both times they were there. A half decade later, there is little hope. The only records they broke last season involved losing and failure.


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[Assistant] There will be no stops taken. The nets are going to be the biggest thing in the Big Apple.


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[Assistant] Ridiculous Albatross contracts handed out like candy, the prime of Allen Iverson completely wasted under the guise of supporting him, and then trading him to Denver for scraps.


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[Assistant] Mention his name throughout Philadelphia and there will be scorn and vitriol out of the mouths of every fan. But Prokhorov either didn't know or care about his previous tenure.


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[Assistant] King was able to sweet talk the Russian into bringing him on as GM. He has full power to do what needs to be done, and Prokhorov will just write the checks. Everyone deserves a second chance.


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[Assistant] No big deal, they can just ship them off for pennies on the dollar. They have an even bigger fish to catch.


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[Assistant] But there's still something missing. They overpaid to get Gerald Wallace at the deadline in 2012, but they are still a bad team. They need more firepower.


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[Assistant] Every great team has one. Scotty Pippen to the Bulls. Clyde Drexler to the Rockets. Let us not forget the time that Kevin Garnett was traded to the Celtics. In fact, the Celtics are on the downswing and are willing to play ball with Billy King. The Huckster finally has.


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[Assistant] Sure, you could be panicking for the Nets right now, but there's no need to worry. They still made the playoffs the next year as the eighth seed. They are sure to, the Nets got rounded by the Hawks. Welp, they can still attract those marquee free agents, right? Yep, they're fucked.


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[Assistant] If Boston wins a championship soon, they should just build a statue of Billy King.


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[Assistant] Whether it be suing 80 year old women for reneging on their season tickets to gouging people for things like-


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[Assistant] Unless you are a Redskins fan, then you just hope he dies quickly. And, yes, he tried to sue the writer of that article. His modus operandi as owner? Throw money at everything.


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[Assistant] And when I say everything, I mean EVERYTHING. I like to call the Redskins the champions of the offseason, because they chuck untold millions of dollars at aging over-the-hill free agents in order to try and be competitive. His first year as owner saw a whirlwind of these. Dion Sanders, Bruce Smith,


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[Assistant] And then there is his affection for RG3. He ordered everything and the kitchen sink thrown at the Rams to trade up to grab him. He has an outstanding rookie season.


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[Assistant] What truly makes this man a lolcow, though, is his stubborn defense of the team name, despite countless protests and criticisms from Native Americans and self-felating liberals. Personally, I don't care about the name, but I can see how people could be triggered. Redskin is considered in some areas to be a derogatory slur.


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[Assistant] Both sides of this argument are goddamn retarded and are only interested in pushing an agenda. The Redskins are in a league where a team is named the Chiefs. There are countless teams across America named the Indians, the Warriors, tribes like the Sioux, and there's a hockey team named after a goddamn Indian Chief.


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[Assistant] I think that the NFL and America as a whole have bigger issues at hand. I can't even support Snyder in this because the dude is just an absolute asshole whom I want to see fail.


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[Assistant] Mack Brown and Brown in a foot race. Three Bears are chasing him and they're not going to get in. No touchdown Mack Brown.


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[Assistant] When you think Nick's basketball, you think lolcowdom.


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[Assistant] Once they were gone, the team fell to shit and became a laughingstock.


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[Assistant] It can't get any worse for them, right? Well, Isaiah Thomas is telling you to hold his drink.


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[Assistant] Phil Jackson, the motherfucking Zen Master, the soothsayer of superstars and egos alike. Unfortunately, nobody told Phil that being a great head coach doesn't translate into being a great executive.


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[Assistant] Mike Holmgren has first-hand experience in this phenomenon. His tenure with the Knicks has been as archaic and outdated as the triangle offense. His first move was to install a puppet at the head coaching position. Steve Kerr saw through this facade, but he ended up getting another former player named Derek Fisher.


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[Assistant] Even more inane is the feud between Phil and Carmelo.


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[Assistant] Regardless of who was at fault for his ejection a few months ago, Dolan has acted like a passive aggressive twat. After the debacle, Dolan declared that Oakley was banned from the garden for life.


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[Assistant] Isaiah Thomas has been accused of sexual harassment. The irony is delicious.


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[Assistant] The only bright spot for the Knicks right now is Kristaps Porzingis, whom their fans absolutely loathed when he was drafted. Not even two years into his tenure, he is pissed and about to Latvian Hulk smash his way out of New York. To the Knicks, this is just your average Thursday.


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[Assistant] Here was this team's savior, a man who was going to bring championships to the city of Buffalo for the first time since the 1960s.


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[Assistant] Massive fire sales ensued. Players like Ryan Miller, Thomas Banach, and Jason Palmanville, they are not the future. Look at all of these free agents that will help us.


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[Assistant] Most of these free agent signings completely fell to shit. It was to the point where new GM Tim Murray decided to simply tank for Connor McDavid.


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[Assistant] For now though, both teams are at another crossroads. Ted Nolan, to the surprise of no one in hockey circles, has revealed himself to be a total cancer of a head coach. The Sabres are terrible.


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[Assistant] For the Sabres, trying to throw shitloads of money at Mike Babcock to come had failed, so they settled for the bargain bin version in Dan Bilesma. As a Pens fan, all I'm going to say is this.


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[Assistant] We tried to warn ya. We tried telling ya this guy was stubborn and frustrating as all hell, but no, you didn't listen. You saw all of those wins and that shiny Jack Adams award and saw glory in your future. You even gave a third round pick to the Pens for the rights to hire him. Turns out we weren't dire enough.


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[Assistant] Rob couldn't be trusted to run a lemonade stand, let alone defensive schemes. After an incredibly embarrassing 0-2 start, heads roll.


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[Assistant] Then they simply bench him in the final game of the season. Not for performance issues, mind you, but because if he gets injured, it would trigger an insurance clause in the contract and cost the team millions of dollars.


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[Assistant] Let's take a look at Bill's GM Doug Whaley, which some consider to be one of the worst in football. Here's how he responded to the firing. After that, I was informed, uhm, that Rex would no longer be our coach.


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[Assistant] I wasn't privy to the conversation, so I cannot get into those details.


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[Assistant] Wait, wha? You don't even know your own head coach got fired? That's one of your major responsibilities as GM. What the fuck do you even do? Are you just a puppet for Russ Brandon, the Pagulas, or both?


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[Assistant] I mean, how could it be like this? Dan Bilesma was supposed to be a player's coach. This was a guy who devised the genius of Mustache Boy. It's obviously not because he's an egotistical asswife who plays a very stubborn brand of hockey and heavily favors marginally skilled veteran grinders.


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[Assistant] The Jack Adams Award is fucking useless. But to see this out of him? That was rather surprising. But they won't fire the guy after only two seasons. Sure, it seems like the Sabres may have been the mystery team to try and hire Klaus Julien, but Pugula won't pay off the salaries of three head coaches.


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[Assistant] Just the news I wanna hear. We're eager to get back on the field too. So it's agreed.


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[Assistant] There's only two stipulations we require. If it's not terrible, I guess we could agree. First, how about a universal DH to ease the load on the pitchers? Fine by us. What's the other thing?


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[Assistant] We'll just cut more things in the meantime. Those minor leaguers aren't going to play, why not cut more of them? How about no? Fine.


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[Assistant] It's one of the greatest treasures of the sports world. Nine months of relentless grinding and physical anguish in pursuit of that 35 pound trophy. Some say it feels weightless when you lift it.


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[Assistant] The glory in which a team basks in when they get it is one of the most cherished in all of sports. You've reached the top of the mountain, sometimes multiple times over. It just gets sweeter with age. The view never ceases to be impressive.


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[Assistant] The one thing many GMs try to do, in both an attempt to award the players and fanbase, is keep the gang around for many years to come. In theory, it's a good idea.


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[Assistant] Keep familiar faces around for fan recognition, promote the brand, sell tickets. The only problem is that Father Time doesn't care for memories. He strikes down everyone eventually. It could be a guy like Marion Gaborik, one of the great heroes of your cup runs, signing him to a seven-year extension in his early thirties.


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[Assistant] He declined rapidly as his body slowly crystallized into glass. It could be warriors like Mike Richards, with an arduous contract getting uglier as drug abuse sped up his decline. It gets so bad that he has to be bought out due to his death spiral. Let's just say they're still paying that one off.


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[Assistant] Multiple times. These sort of whiffs happen, obviously. It's inevitable, since nobody can predict the future. But in the King's case, it occurred ten times over. L.A. was going nowhere. The once great upside was on the other side of the bell curve, and they were already paying dearly for contracts due for a long time.


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[Assistant] Daryl Sutter is a legend in future Hall of Famer, but the Kings needed a new voice in the locker room.


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[Assistant] He was past his expiration date. The team had gotten stale and needed a shake-up. On the executive front, Dean Lombardi had lost his touch. He was the architect behind the cup winners, but also of the awful contract situation and routine losing of trades. There's also the failure to find a replacement for Slava Voinov, who beat himself out of the continent entirely. They had failed the organization. There is nothing more that needs to be said. Both were fired.


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[Assistant] It was the end of an era, but it wouldn't be more. The next stage of Kings Hockey will be one of new glories and triumphs. It would be led by the powers of Rob Blake and Luke Robitaille, old faces of the organization. Because that's what the hockey world needed to see, another boys club.


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[Assistant] Alright, I'll give them a chance. I mean, I was wrong about Joe Sackick. It would take a mastermind to get the king through this labyrinth.


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[Assistant] Drew Doughty leading the back end with a season for the ages. Even Dustin Brown, he of so-called terabat contract, was producing at a first line rate. They were looking like the squad that upends everyone towards a shot at another cup final.


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[Assistant] Except it didn't. I would go for the whole lol you got swept by an expansion team angle, however the kings were just flat off beat-


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[Assistant] The goalie was a castaway stranded on an island of tactical outmaneuvering.


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[Assistant] It wasn't sweet, but it was deceiving as the games were competitive in nature. To Blake and Robitaille, though, this could be the start of a revival for the Kings. The time has come to build on this year's success. The answer for them was... to get older.


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[Assistant] At a 6.25 million dollar cap it. And a no movement clause. Younger options, fuck that, the Kremlin's giving us this old chalice from the days of Catherine the Great. But the big prize, oh yes, that would be re-signing Drew Doughty. The man wants to win championships and is the cornerstone of the defense. Good news LA, you got him.


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[Assistant] 11 million per year? Were you guys paying the free aging tax when there were no other buyers? You do realize the highest paid defensemen are making around 8 million, right? No knock on Doughty, he's a great player, but that much for Drew's latter years? Ever hear of the aging process? I hope you have the fountain of youth lying around for that. If I'm Eric Carlson, I'm sending you guys a fruit basket for the next decade.


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[Assistant] Even the youth they were counting on is struggling mightily. Despite trading the majority of their picks and prospects under the old regime for the cup runs, there's still hope. Meet the new wave of kings. Adrian Kempe! Tyler Toffoli! Tanner Pearson!


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[Assistant] The injury gods chose to put a hard stop to this experiment. But you know what? Even in this unwatchable state, they still have Jonathan Quay. And it turns out that dude also got the injury bug. Thus is another problem with the weather-beaten cage.


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[Assistant] You guys have at least two to three years of being gridlocked on the 405 of cap issues. You're paying Kopitar until he's 36. Dustin Brown until age 37. Jeff-


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[Assistant] It's just sad. I know you'll always have those memories of Stanley cups to look back on, but let me warn you. Memories fade. There will be a time when the hunger for new adventures returns. Those old cups won't satiate anymore. Just ask the Oilers, Islanders, or Canadians how that feels.


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[Assistant] Good morning class, please take your seats. Welcome to How to Destroy a Franchise 101.


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[Assistant] Have they gone senile from all the home game 7 losses or their clock simply stopped in 2007? Enough introductions, let's get to the points. Our time machine takes us to April of 2016. Bruce Boudreaux sealed his choking reputation by losing a home game 7 after a 3-2 series lead for the fourth year in a row. Boudreaux was told to take his barbecue stand with him as he left.


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[Assistant] To the playoffs. They convincingly traumatized Calgary some more and allowed the world to experience Edmonton's finest salt as a royally choker game they should have won. It was beautiful. Until Nashville slaps them with catfish.


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[Assistant] But Murray is quick thinking. He uses Jedi powers to make them select Clayton Stoner. And giving up Shae Theodore in return. Not as much of a mind trick. You know what this calls for, class? Years upon years of extension!


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[Assistant] Your prospects are also too raw to be counted on in key roles. What do you do? Dumpster diving.


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[Assistant] All of this mixing of old grit and young players not ready for the big time leads to disaster. A team that is merely being carried by John Gibson. Turns out extending everyone to big contracts may have been a mistake. Patrick Eves can't stay healthy. Cam Fowler underperforming. Ryan Getzlaff ready to snap necks. Corey Perry injured to shit. And Ryan Kessler.


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[Assistant] Pulling a play from the Lamerillo playbook of doing double duty. Now he can see how garbage his team really is. That's too hard to do though. Let's hand out another extension. Jakob Silverberg.


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[Assistant] So what can we learn from the self-destruction of the ducks? Probably a lot of different takes, but the best course of action is to not relive the past as if it can be replicated. Don't extend everyone because of outdated play styles, and don't put all of your eggs in one goalie basket. At the very least, the ducks have some decent prospects that might make an impact soon.


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[Assistant] Notice how I didn't mention a certain event against LA. Fuck that, that series is dead to me. It's not enough to dwell on the past, because let's be real Sharks fans are still living in it. We keep thinking to ourselves, don't worry, we may have fallen short again, but they're still in good shape. They've got talent, they've got Doug Wilson, they've got development, they've still got Jumbo Joe, we're good!


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[Assistant] It's what happens when a team sniffs or gets close to championship glories, but then proceeds to throw all caution into the wind in an effort to chase after it. Sadly, it usually doesn't end well. The Detroit Tigers can let you know of that tale.


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[Assistant] The problem with Wilson is an issue that many GMs come to deal with when a team is successful. They do everything they can to try and keep the gang together. It sounds nice and is a good story, but you know who doesn't give a shit about sentimentality? Father Time.


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[Assistant] It was less of a showing and more in the style of being tactically spanked. Peter DeVore never adjusted to the bench style of play and paid the price. They had strengths, especially in boardplay, but they never capitalized on it. The only reason this series didn't end sooner was because Martin Jones played eons over his head.


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[Assistant] It merely delayed the inevitable. Sharks lose, pens win the cup, the world hates San Jose, wash, rinse, repeat.


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[Assistant] That's why you have to make your chances count. If not, you will turn into the sharks.


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[Assistant] Even if it means long-term sacrifice, the championship makes it all worth it.


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[Assistant] The band has to be kept together, rewarding the past with security in the future. Doubling down on the core, it's a dangerous game.


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[Assistant] On one plane of thought, loyalty. These men led you through thick and thin. So many fan favorites here. Could you imagine Jumbo Joe in a different uniform?


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[Assistant] Everyone cried when Marlowe left, so you gotta keep him around. He's at least done that right, hasn't he? The downside? Well, look at these players. Brent Burns, Mark Edgeward Classic, Martin Jones, Evander Kane, Logan Couture. A lot of talent in that group, I must admit. But here are the contract lengths they were signed to. And here are the ages of each player when those terms expire. Notice something?


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[Assistant] Brent Burns has never given a shit about the word defense. His value comes in his offensive skill and production. Both are starting to take a nosedive. With both the eye test and analytically.


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[Assistant] What are the first skills to atrophy? Physical attributes. Pray it doesn't happen in the next five years. Martin Jones. This is the first year he's truly been consistent.


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[Assistant] At least before a severe foot injury nerfed one of his greatest strengths, but he's still really good. Think of what he could do with Plastic or Brent Burns. Otto was selling off everything, so fuck it, it's worth a shot. His year as a shark was iffy, but it's not like they're going to do something really desparate. God damn it.


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[Assistant] There's nothing over the past few years that's shown me that he's going to, if ever, return to his old form.


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[Assistant] No, I'm not salty that he's no longer the captain. Gattur earned the seat with his performance in last year's playoffs, but that loss is felt in a locker room.


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[Assistant] So now we get to see the Sharks draw out Jumbo Joe and Patrick Marlowe for their fourth final tour of duty. Look, I love them as players. They're future all-of-famers, their jerseys will be hanging from the rafters someday, but they're done.


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[Assistant] It's not due to any particular player or unit or the stubborn mule known as Peter DeVore. It's goddamn everything.


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[Assistant] The players they expected to develop haven't done so, and the guys they were counting on have experienced massive regression. Timo Meyer held a player last year. Now he's back to his cock-teasing ways. The dude didn't show up for a whole month. Tomas Hurtle was great. And now he's gone.


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[Assistant] Why are you telling me this defense can't do a damn thing without redeemed Simic on it? Really?


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[Assistant] What about Kevin LeBanc and that ridiculously cheap contract of his? You know the one year deal grossly underpaying him?


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[Assistant] And it's in an incredibly deep draft with no lottery protections. This was supposed to be a fleecing of Ottawa.


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[Assistant] As I said earlier, Father Time does not care if a team was successful or not in their window. No matter what, everyone must pay up. This is looking more and more like The Shark's Time.


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[Assistant] Bitch about the coronavirus all you want, but it gave the Sharks their best moment of the year. A mercy killing of this god-awful excuse of a season.


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[Assistant] Shotcon out here seeing stars. Urban's coming to be Jacksonville's song.


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[Assistant] Bringing in his assistants and guys to soothe the hidden lies of their strength coach Chris Doyle. Too bad he was a massive racist. Oopsie. His plan foiled. Forced to resign a day later.


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[Assistant] Enter draft time, his legend would grow, with players that he would sow. He got Lawrence a generational power.


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[Assistant] But luck to the light, a magical sight. In comes Tim Tebow, descending from the Mets. A tight end in more ways than one, he's only the best. And holy fucking shit, he's awful. Get him out of here, maybe next time we'll try to be subtle.


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[Assistant] Not when talking about making cuts. Considering fact status, big no-no buddy, can't say the quiet parts out loud, it makes things muddy. The cravings are a lust for control.


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[Assistant] A love of all things him and making his players bow down to Urban's cajole. Perhaps if the team didn't suck, it could've worked.


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[Assistant] The No 1 Force start is bleak, but Maier has his purse.


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[Assistant] Why back home with the team? Fuck that! He's got family and friends in Ohio to chew the fat. A sigma like him cares not for rules.


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[Assistant] Flirt with coeds he knows from his schools. Teaching girls about zone coverage is only the best. He pretends to want prevent, when he really wants hard press.


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[Assistant] Dumbass didn't really believe this would get out? THINK MAN, THINK!


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[Assistant] Dude, where the hell are those fingers going? Right in the stink? You ain't in Gainesville anymore, Herbie boy! You're not God in the NFL, this ain't your toy! The losses pile up with two random wins against the... Bills and the Dolphins?


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[Assistant] The deception continues with James Robinson. Thousand yard rusher, not in the dictatorship of Urban. Ruin him, stunt him, destroy him with haste. Pinch him so hard he'll turn into horse paste. Trevor Lawrence? Yea, you seriously expect him to survive? He's going to rot fester and die alive. Don't you dare ask him who's playing for his team. That's irrelevant to him, he's got bigger dreams. Remember, Urban's the winner every time. His assistants are losers and pathetic slimes.


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[Assistant] Two and eleven is irrelevant. Meyer is heaven sent. Coaches must prove their worth to it. Receivers walk out and argue with them on a whim.


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[Assistant] Seriously believe he's being mean? Dude had a better staff at Bowling Green. Whistleblowers? On his staff? He'll be out of a job, he gets the last laugh. Not bad enough yet? Here's the kicker.


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[Assistant] Josh Lambeau makes the legacy even sicker. Hey fucker, make your kicks, he utters to his stretching player. A swift blow to the leg, professionalism right into a flare. Urban doesn't care, Lambeau's leg is weak and gaunt.


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[Assistant] I'm the head ball coach. I'll kick you whenever the fuck I want. So will Sha Kahn, didn't you know? Your tenure has been a disaster full of ego and woe.


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[Assistant] Kinda the same things you said on TV, now that's irony. Don't you worry, he never took the blame for anything. That's on those beneath him to feel the sting. Foolish decision, you see though? Only the second coming of Bobby Patrino.


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[Assistant] He's still one more in the NFL than Urban, the fucker. Maybe that'll make the co-eds pucker. And all that's left is a reputation set on fire. A man hung as a liar.


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[Assistant] You can sing it to the choir. Urban turned Jacksonville into Bourbon Mire.


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[Assistant] The new Bundesliga match fact skill focuses on the individual class of Bundesliga players. Skill shows off the star's outstanding quality and is divided into four components.


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[Assistant] A sprinter naturally stands out because of his high maximum speed.


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[Assistant] Take Gerrit Holdman for example. No Vulcan player makes as many sprints per game as he does.


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[Assistant] The hallmark of a finisher is not simply goals in abundance.


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[Assistant] He also impresses with a high degree of finishing efficiency, like Augsburg's Michel Gregorich. If he gets the ball in the danger zone, watch out.


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[Assistant] An important skill when a team's not in possession, the ball winner.


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[Assistant] He has the ability to recover the ball. He intercepts the opposition's passes and stands out with strong tackling skills. Leipzig's Jusko Guardiol is exemplary at this. A ball winner not only stops opponents' attacks, but also enables his team to start a counterattack.


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[Assistant] For an initiator, the decisive factor is not just the number of assists, but also the so-called second assist. That's the penultimate pass, which ultimately leads to a goal, as we see with Jude Bellingham here.


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[Assistant] The initiator is capable of completing risky passes, is creative, and manages to conjure up a goal threat in mere seconds.


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[Assistant] The initial flurry of moves, none more interesting to me and I think to many across the hockey world is that of Johnny Groudreau leaving Calgary for of all places, Columbus.


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[Assistant] Goalball is exclusively for athletes with a visual impairment.


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[Assistant] To be eligible, athletes have less than 10% vision remaining or a visual field restricted to 20 degrees. Participants wear blackout masks whilst on court that cannot be touched unless permitted by the referee.


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[Assistant] teams have 10 seconds from first defensive contact to get the ball across the Centre Court line.


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[Assistant] Goalball is unique. The hush of the crowd and the high degree of skill, tactics and split-second player reactions create a spectacular sport.


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[Assistant] Every time I turn on my Nintendo Switch, I never, well, I never turn it off. It always just goes to sleep right where I left off with it. So, we're right back to the screen from when we beat Matt, however many weeks ago. Thrusting.


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[Assistant] I don't know where that was going, but I know all about thrusting, trust me. Nintendo's search sports. Okay, so I'm back here on Nintendo's search sports. Last time we were playing search sports, we only played Shambara at powerhouse difficulty with the new Mii's that they added into Nintendo's search sports because that's Matt.


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[Assistant] And we eventually beat Matt, as you saw. If you missed the video, you would've, you would know now, because...


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[Assistant] So now we're going to try out all the other sports.


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[Assistant] Uh, for the Miis that Nintendo added into the game, I don't know who else there is, to be honest with you. To get the Miis, we gotta hold either, uh, R in ZR or L in ZL when we select difficulty, and we're gonna go right into powerhouse, er,


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[Assistant] We'll go best of three, we'll give ourselves a little bit more chance. Maybe it's L and ZL now?


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[Assistant] Will it be Alisa? That's who it wasn't su- it is. It literally is Alisa and Tommy. I couldn't remember her. Her partner is Tommy. Alisa and Tommy.


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[Assistant] A couple people that I really don't like. Do I need my other joycon for this? No. Alright. I just need my right joycon. Awesome.


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[Assistant] We actually got to serve and then screw up the not serve. Oh shit, that's right. I'm not serving. This is fun.


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[Assistant] Err, err, 15 points. I, I, I, finish scoring makes no sense. Why 15? Why don't you just give one?


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[Assistant] Game set match. Suck my cock. Okay, we're playing that again. I don't know how to hit the, hit the power shot. You're supposed to high point


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[Assistant] Who's tits can get over there quick enough to get that after that? How come we can't do that to them?


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[Assistant] I hate this. I hate tennis. It's such a stupid sport and that's exactly why Alisa is the champion at it. Dumb fucking bitch.


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[Assistant] I don't know what Tommy's doing being a frickin' all-star at this as well. He's the all-star at basketball. Well, there we go. You know what? No. No, no, no. I'm going to strong. It's still Alisa and Tommy.


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[Assistant] Okay, apparently no matter what difficulty you pick, it's still the same Miis. Well, we'll see if they're just, if I somehow fudged myself into powerhouse again.


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[Assistant] Or can you only play Mii's at Powerhouse? I have no idea. They don't seem as good.


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[Assistant] This is way longer than a volley than I usually get against them, so I'm assuming this is not powerhouse difficulty. Okay, nevermind.


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[Assistant] Alisa's save there does not happen. That does not fucking happen.


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[Assistant] Okay, I, I have questions if the difficulty actually changed. I have serious questions.


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[Assistant] Yep, no. No, there's no shot, Nintendo. No fucking shot. I must've screwed something up. No, that is strong. Okay, what if I go to normal? Oh my. Ooh. Okay, hold up. Hold up.


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[Assistant] Oh wow. Maybe there is a difficulty difference. I was starting to think it's just semantical.


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[Assistant] There's no way. No, there is no difficulty difference. You're telling me she's still at normal difficulty? She's still frickin' shooting asteroids? She didn't that time.


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[Assistant] I guess the difference between powerhouse and normal is sometimes they're a little worse. Sometimes. Even though it's two full difficulty settings lower, it's like splitting the difference between


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[Assistant] Nothing. It means fucking all of nothing. I might as well play at powerhouse strength again.


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[Assistant] What? I get a couple more normal serves, and I get a few more points at normal, but they're still gonna win. No, you dumb fuck!


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[Assistant] A whole new level of suck. Suck so much you're a black fucking hole.


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[Assistant] Nah, we're done. We're done with tennis. We're gonna check out what the other sports are, but...


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[Assistant] It's also a joke to me, or it's a joke to somebody, I don't know who, that your Joy-Con's connection is unstable.


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[Assistant] Oh, maybe that's why. Maybe I just got the dumb Joy-Con. Anyways.


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[Assistant] The fact that, the fact that the difficulties make so little difference.


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[Assistant] Oh, it's Sakura, of course. From baseball to badminton.


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[Assistant] I don't, I don't know about Batman. This little frickin' birdie cock thing. Just floats through the air.


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[Assistant] And then eventually we'll get the boing and fall on her face and there's nothing we can do and I'm sure it's gonna happen to us.


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[Assistant] I love that. That is such an awesome mechanic, Nintendo. Like, what a great feature of the game, that your character just lays on the ground.


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[Assistant] Shows no athleticism to even get up. We lay on the ground for five fucking minutes.


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[Assistant] God damn it. Sakura always gets it up. The key to badminton is you be the yellow. You need to be the yellow, not the frickin blue.


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[Assistant] And somehow Sakura keeps on finessing it, so she's always the yellow. Because watch, when you-


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[Assistant] When you're blue, you're, you're always just trying to get it up and over. It's just a, oh, I guess... Subaru is the...


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[Assistant] Champion, but apparently you must have to 1v1 him. 1v1 in soccer is very strange though. Which, I'm not really about. Maybe I'll actually win too if uhm. Oh I thought, I thought we were already getting point.


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[Assistant] Ooh, look at that! I even got the assist.


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[Assistant] The only way I'm gonna win this is if my teammates win it for me. Aw shit. Aw shit. Aw shit. Double shit. Uh, triple shit.


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[Assistant] Uh oh, fucking quadruple shi- oh my god.


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[Assistant] I hate soccer. It's really, you know, it's a stupid sport where a bunch of freaking people run around in circles on a big old field. There's a reason why we don't like soccer in America. And it's not cause we're bad in it.


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[Assistant] It's a bad sport and fortune telling, you're lucky sport. You're giving me lucky sports now because all I'm doing since I got on here is LOST.


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[Assistant] Oh yea, maybe his lucky sport is the only sport he hasn't played yet. Thanks game. There's no way to play a champion in that. I'm going back to tennis. Tennis is the only one that really intrigued me.


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[Assistant] Okay, I don't know what happened there, but I did better than usual. No need to get overly confident though, because we know how this game can go.


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[Assistant] Oh my god. How, how diving that way? How diving backhand that way? Do you hit it that direction?


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[Assistant] I love it, I love it. We were up on the first game by the way, ended up losing that one and are now getting our asses quacked.


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[Assistant] How frustrating. How is this not incredibly frustrating? I feel like all I'm doing is fucking screaming, but how is this just not incredibly infuriating?


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[Assistant] Okay, great. I almost broke this joycon, by the way. Hit it please, dumb bitch. You're good for nothing. You're a hole.


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[Assistant] The computer controlled character movements put me in a spot where my paddle, my, my racket can't hit the ball.


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[Assistant] I have so many dents in my wall. In this room.


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[Assistant] It completely fucks me too, because you know, both of these stupid beat bosses...


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[Assistant] Are, are swinging at the same time. So if I try to swing with the front one.


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[Assistant] You know, you know, it's funny though, they have two different players on their team. So if the front one swings and misses, their back player is still running for the ball. Because watch this, if I swing with front beat boss, it screws everything.


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[Assistant] Man, it's great. It's like the game thinks, it thinks that its players won't be smart enough to call them out on the bullshit it is, that I got two of the same players and they got two different players. Giving them the advantage when their front player swings and might not hit it, their back player is still going. My back player is just a-


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[Assistant] Oh wow, we hit it. We did the meteor strike.


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[Assistant] Of course, of course, of course, of course, of course, of course. I might as well not even use the backbeat boss. Honestly, they throw so many that if I don't get it with my front guy, I'm screwed because the back guy is so out of position. So I'm just gonna try to hit everything with front guy.


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[Assistant] I'm sweating. I'm sweating not because I'm playing this game, I'm sweating because I think I've had a mouth workout. From screaming.


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[Assistant] I'm out of breath and sweating from screaming so much and invoicing my frustrations about this game. Ooh, I'm getting the hang of it, I think. But it doesn't even matter, they always hit those.


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[Assistant] Yeah, bet you won't get that! I have a feeling though, we're not coming back from this 0 to 4- Yeah, yeah. You know what?


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[Assistant] I don't know what I think. You know what I think? You know what I really think? This is bullshit. That's what I think.


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[Assistant] I screamed so much, I'm, I'm, I'm just really over it. There's just, there's very, it's like, hope sprinkles on


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[Assistant] A massive cake, you know what I mean? Like, like, so a little bit of sprinkles, hop-


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[Assistant] I usually wouldn't do a stream like this, but I really have nothing better to do right now. So I figured I'll stream, uh, this Nintendo Direct release today. See if anything is announced that, uh, would pertain to something I'd play on my channel. Tomodachi Life Switch announcement? We could only hope.


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[Assistant] We party on the Switch? Yea, we can only hope. Honestly, I hope they just look through my channel before this.


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[Assistant] And now they're going to make it for the Nintendo Switch.


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[Assistant] I think we're starting. Let's go! I have no idea what the hell this is.


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[Assistant] Raid Shadow Legends. I'm gonna have to say fart sound effect might be okay right now.


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[Assistant] Yeah, this is Super Strikers. We played this for the Wii. It looks like I'll just get my ass wrecked. Yep, it is.


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[Assistant] Yeah, I'm just gonna get my ass kicked in Mario Soccer when I play it, but I'll play it. I'm like already getting the tutorial for the game. This will be the most I ever read or listen to how to play it.


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[Assistant] I'm sure the computer will use that on me about 16 times. What the fuck is this?


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[Assistant] These villains are, are silly enough looking that I'm intrigued. Lancer's at the ready.


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[Assistant] Is this just robot fighting? Yea, no.


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[Assistant] Uh, furries will be all over this one. It seems like a cute game. If I may say so myself. What if he inhales my wiener? I'm gonna go pee during this one.


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[Assistant] Yeah, I, I can't say I care about this game.


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[Assistant] Did I wash my hands? To be honest, no. I did not.


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[Assistant] Okay, I'm excited, but what the fuck are these characters?


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[Assistant] That's a good video. They said shuttlecock, by the way.


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[Assistant] So we lost boxing and baseball and replaced it with soccer, volleyball, and badminton.


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[Assistant] Wow, listen to the remix of the Wii Sports theme there. It did still have the dun dun dun dun dun.


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[Assistant] I wanna hear him drop some f-bombs when he fucks something up.


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[Assistant] I don't like the characters. I'm glad they brought back Wii Sports, in a way, but...


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[Assistant] I'm thinking that these characters that we're seeing here are just like, you know, the defaults in the game. But you can use your me.


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[Assistant] They should have had me commentate this. It would be much more entertaining than whatever the heck family friendly bullshit that was.


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[Assistant] I'm gonna guess he wasn't actually playing right then. That was pre-recorded. But that's just my bold-


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[Assistant] Oh, so some things aren't going to be released yet. Soccer comes in, in the summer and golf comes in the fall.


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[Assistant] You get, you get the thing that tie the Joy-Con to your leg. So you don't need to be, you don't need to pre-order the game or anything.


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[Assistant] I swear to god if Nintendo doesn't give me one of those, or doesn't let me frickin' do the test, I will shit on their doorstep.


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[Assistant] I'll be mad. These games right now don't matter. But.


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[Assistant] So it's available April 29th. We know that you got the trailer. So there doesn't appear to be any place to register. It just says here registration open. Oh yeah, that's right. Registration opens February 15th at 5pm PST. So 8pm EST on February 15th, which is the day before my birthday and also the day my YouTube drops.


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[Assistant] Play online and challenge, so you can play online like Wii Sports Club. Play with family and friends locally or online. Golf is planned to be added via free update this fall. Bum bum bum bum bum ba dum. They picked the best song from Mario Kart.


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[Assistant] Frickin', whatever mall. Uh, dildo mall. Son, what the fuck is the name of that mall?


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[Assistant] Nintendo needs to give me the game early. I'm sure they love my videos, and love how I swear and bitch so much. Surely they'll give me the game early. Last announcement, this is it. Tomodachi Life. Make it a fucking homer-


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[Assistant] If they also announce Tom and Archie live for the Switch, like,


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[Assistant] It was over. It was game over. It was GG. The playtest is only 45 minutes.


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[Assistant] After years of throwing resources on making them viable in the desert, it turns out there was no oasis. Only incompetence and incontinence alike.


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[Assistant] Haki's version of constipation will not be sold to a nigger ownership group out of Salt Lake City. The kachino will be forcibly converted to Mormonism. Is it odd that I feel relief instead of sadness?


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[Assistant] Situation had gotten way too toxic and there was no short-term solution that was viable. They couldn't just play another half decade in a college arena, you know.


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[Assistant] Ownership's Plan Z is to buy land on the outskirts of Phoenix. Great!


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[Assistant] It's not up for auction until June and the starting price is over 65 million dollars.


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[Assistant] It needs full infrastructure development, let alone project construction. And that's if they have the winning bid.


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[Assistant] The NHLPA was already throwing a bitch fit over the Coyote situation. Where dead men walking the moment Tempe was shot down. And we all knew it.


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[Assistant] Schmoozed him up and told him, hey man, we like you, but everyone's getting pissed at us and we need to save face. Can you sell the coyotes to some men in Utah and we'll give you top priority on an expansion team? If you can get an arena built, we'll pinky promise you. You heard that correctly. More expansion.


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[Assistant] The league doesn't need expansion, with the stuff going around about Atlanta, Houston, and more. It's inevitable. Just like the Coyotes headed to the Great Salt Lake.


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[Assistant] One hoarding draft picks until the end of time eternal, with intriguing prospects and young stars aplenty. A team that shown flashes of brilliance this past season, one with an outside chance of making it to the playoffs.


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[Assistant] Well, as long as they don't have their seemingly perennial collapse.


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[Assistant] They have some work to do, mainly renovating their arena for hockey, but I think they could do well up here if run correctly.


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[Assistant] The new ownership group is chomping at the bit to take them on and they have experience in running the jazz.


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[Assistant] They've been a competent franchise organizationally, so I'm expecting stability from them in this new era. Coyote Saga was just black eye after black eye. There's nothing I've said that hasn't been said before.


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[Assistant] One that hit rock bottom when a privately funded arena with all the fixins was resoundingly rejected in favor of a toxic landfill. Hope they enjoy that landfill. Somehow it's been better run than the coyotes.


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[Assistant] Here's the thing, I'm absolutely open to trying in Phoenix again.


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[Assistant] Just like Atlanta, the city was plagued with god-awful ownership and failure at every turn. It could do well with the right man heading the Enterprise. That man is not Maruello.


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[Assistant] The headache's off the ice. Being booted out of Glendale.


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[Assistant] Failing to pay what's owed on numerous occasions, how it happened again this past year at the Toronto Hotel! Malignant toxicity in the workplace and in the community.


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[Assistant] They weren't even gonna tell their players that they were about to move until it had been leaked to the public!


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[Assistant] He further dragged this franchise into the mud and is somehow making hundreds of millions of dollars from it. Be fair, it was the only way he would sell the team.


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[Assistant] Betman stuck his dick in crazy, now he gets to deal with the aftermath.


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[Assistant] And he'll still deal with it as Alex will still own the Tucson Roadrunners.


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[Assistant] It's merely being cryogenically frozen next to Ted Williams in the hopes that a cure for their woes is found.


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[Assistant] As long as Mirawella pays back one billion dollars from the sale. Leave it to the NHL to make things convoluted and hard to follow.


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[Assistant] There's an update on Nintendo Switch Sports. So there's some interesting things that they've added on Nintendo Switch Sports. I've seen a tweet of someone claiming that if you hold


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[Assistant] While selecting difficulty offline on any sport activates Mii's, and in particular on Chumbara if you do it,


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[Assistant] When selecting powerhouse difficulty, you get mat. Let's go ahead and play locally and put this to the test.


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[Assistant] And I go to powerhouse and I'm gonna hold R and ZR and press A.


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[Assistant] Wait, L, R, and ZR, and press okay. CPU, wha-what should I give Matt?


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[Assistant] Assuming this actually gives me Matt. I'm worried that I've been bamboozled though. Wait!


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[Assistant] Wait! This isn't a bamboozle. Bam- I didn't even say that right. This isn't a bamboozle, it's actually Matt. Matt is real and he exists in Nintendo Switch Sports. I- I'm curious to see how good he is though. I'm gonna go defensive right off the bat, I'm kinda concerned.


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[Assistant] Okay, guess I was blocking nothing. My block did absolutely shit. Okay, I'm holding it this way.


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[Assistant] Uh oh. Matt, Matt's too good.


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[Assistant] Am I not blocking whatever way Matt- I just lost, by the way. Yeah, I don't wanna watch this. Go fuck yourself, Matt.


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[Assistant] Play again. I, I, I sniffed some BS though. I don't, I don't know. This seems worse than freaking Wii Sports Resort Sword play with the blocking. Not working.


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[Assistant] Shoulder shrug, BeefBoss. Get your head in the game! We can't block Matt! At all!


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[Assistant] The only time we can block Matt is when he's not swinging. Which I don't even know is considered a block.


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[Assistant] I frickin' look like a stupid piranosaurus or something. I frickin', what's that damn thing called? I look like a stupid, uh,


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[Assistant] The praying mantis with these two swords. Yea, I can't hit match.


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[Assistant] I got a new strategy, and it's called the fucking propeller.


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[Assistant] That is definitely not what I'm trying to do by flailing both of my remotes.


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[Assistant] I'm gonna try blocking with my left. Maybe Matt is weaker.


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[Assistant] It-it-it's impossible. It's fucking impossible. You can suck my cock sideways with sandpaper if you think that- if you can beat Matt. There's no shot. Shh. Don't kick the ground, Beefbox. You're getting embarrassed.


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[Assistant] Look at, look how quick, look how quick, he's holding his sword vertically, right? I go for the up-down hit, cause that's where he's weak, cause he's holding it vertical. In the time I swing down, he moves his sword sideways, so it's an easy buy. How can he read that? HOW?


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[Assistant] Bad wiener. Like the type of wiener that goes so far down your throat you choke and die.


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[Assistant] Which I'm sure there's still some people that are like, wow, that doesn't sound that bad. But it doesn't sound very good to me. And that's what's important here.


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[Assistant] Yeah, yeah, yeah, of course, of course, of course, of course, of course, of course, of course, of course, of course, of course, of course.


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[Assistant] And then Matt's on his, on his frickin' shit again. Yup, and I try to, I try to swing once. I-I-I-I-I DON'T KNOW!


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[Assistant] No, of course, of course not, of course not. Of course I'm not going to hit him.


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[Assistant] Who am I thinking I can take a swing on Matt? The only time I can legitimately hit Matt is if I somehow block him.


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[Assistant] Matt can block me like it's no big deal, but I can't block Matt, like, to save my life.


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[Assistant] So of course my audio recording cuts out because I, I don't know, I guess throwing my joy cons at my TV somehow makes my audio recording stop. It doesn't make sense. I also, it also somehow made my second PC turn on. I don't understand things that I don't understand.


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[Assistant] Make me so mad. This is why JoyCons just went into my TV and my TV is now broken.


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[Assistant] And then more, more stuff I don't understand happens from that. All I know is I need a new TV now. And I'm done.


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[Assistant] It's all down to the skill behind the wheel, but until now, it's been difficult to tell which drivers are closest to the maximum.


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[Assistant] Introducing Driver Performance Percentage of Car Limits, a new F1 insight powered by AWS.


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[Assistant] This TV graphic takes live speed and accelerometer data streamed direct from the car and uses it to calculate the forces experienced by the tyres throughout a lap.


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[Assistant] And then compares it with a tyre model that tells us the maximum force they could have handled.


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[Assistant] It uses this to show how close to the limit the driver is when they get on the throttle.


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[Assistant] Using this new insight, we'll be able to see which drivers have some performance to find


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[Assistant] I was doing like things blank college fans say, all that stuff. But it should be exciting. Also, welcome to the show.


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[Assistant] Welcome to Clickbait Sports. For the past 10 to 15 minutes, we've been talking about nothing related to what we are about to do right now. Joining me on this glorious journey. You heard him speak. His name is Urinating Tree. Tree, how's it going so far?


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[Assistant] Don't worry man, it's a nice beautiful day outside and I'm cooped up inside just as God intended.


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[Assistant] I don't know what's pink or you or the Brandon Perna t-shirt. Nothing wrong with this Brandon Perna t-shirt. I got to show the love for that man up there. That is a glorious t-shirt.


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[Assistant] I just, I just announced it just then and now. Just a second.


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[Assistant] On an expedition, a trek across America.


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[Assistant] Yeah, for the divorce fund. Thank you, Carl. We're done.


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[Assistant] Release. Uh, what do you guys know? What have you seen? What's going down?


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[Assistant] From week 11 to 14, they're basically home, right? They have a game against the commanders, the Patriots, a bye at home, and then the Packers on Monday Night Football. But the thing is that the NFL


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[Assistant] That's just so boring, like, I don't want to play you guys! I don't want to play you guys! And I hope Saekwon's not, uh, signed by then also, so I'm just throwing that out.


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[Assistant] The sealer's schedule has been pretty tight. The only one we know is, uh, certain Tom Grossi and the Green Bay Packers on November 12th.


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[Assistant] Must be nice. Dang, so y'all don't play us? I wanted to play.


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[Assistant] Did you know that only two Lions players, Marvin Jones and Jake McQuade, were even alive in 1991, the last time the Lions won a playoff game?


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[Assistant] What do you think? You could have been born in 1991, had a career, had two kids, saved in a 529 program and have a sizable 401k and not see the Lions win a single playoff game. Oh yeah, I mean, that's nearing retirement age. Like if they were running back, they're retiring and collecting pens.


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[Assistant] I wish I could help you. I think the spoiler is that SpongeBob is going to be playing quarterback for the Raiders. I think that's why they throw him on the shelf. What do you know about your schedule release though? Nothing. They've been relatively quiet. The only schedule, as I said before, was a certain Tom Grassi.


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[Assistant] And there's a little kitty. Hello kitty. Oh wow. We're gonna be playing the kitty goes meow twice, as usual, home and road.


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[Assistant] We start out, unfortunately, against the Giants, immediate W. So, knock that in. And then we play the Jets!


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[Assistant] Then we play Aaron Rodgers. That's right. We can't get rid of this man. Hopefully that is another W. We're gonna skip to Thanksgiving. We're playing the Commanders. Listen.


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[Assistant] We better win that game on Thanksgiving. We need to get a streak going. I've been too sad, too many Thanksgivings. And then we end the season against the commanders as well. The other thing that I know,


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[Assistant] Is that we have the fourth hardest schedule in the league.


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[Assistant] And so I'm very excited to see how this season, uh, plays out.


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[Assistant] And apparently they're eyeing, like, France. Like, that's a possibility.


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[Assistant] Alright, we need to make a prediction on this show right now. Someone has actually been like really good on our predictions.


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[Assistant] When is the first NFL game going to be played in Africa? Which year are we going with?


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[Assistant] Yeah, they're going to expand to South America, East Asia and Europe before Africa. You know what? Galapagos.


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[Assistant] I'm going 2032, the same year I'm running for office in something. I don't know yet. Magruder 2032, Africa 2032 NFL. Let's lock it in. Do you know that in some counties, like in Arkansas, they actually elect the coroner?


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[Assistant] The person who looks at dead bodies is an elected official.


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[Assistant] Guess I'll have to go look at dead people for free now. As I said, if it's gonna be like an African style country, it'll be in the Middle East. It'll be Saudi Arabia, Qatar, United Arab Emirates.


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[Assistant] Five years, five to ten years and see who was right. Who gets the game.


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[Assistant] I don't, I don't think there's much interest in getting ready to learn Chinese, but there's a billion people. You couldn't find 50,000. That would be interesting. That's the NBA's territory right now.


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[Assistant] And remember, China really boosted because they had their own player be a superstar, Yao Ming. And that's how they got that interest.


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[Assistant] Yeah, that's what I'm thinking. Brazil's probably your best interest. Rio de Janeiro or Buenos Aires.


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[Assistant] Just about to get into everyone is putting so much impetus on this schedule release, making it an event


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[Assistant] I really don't care that much. Like I don't, the cowboys even social media, they're like, guess who's going to release the skit? I don't really care. I just need to know the times and when we're playing. What's up RBT? What's up? Yeah, to me it's like a crazy


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[Assistant] I guess if I were streaming the games, it would be more like something I would be excited for.


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[Assistant] I hear you, I hear you, but I'm currently drowning in NBA content. I'm drowning trying to get these NBA videos out.


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[Assistant] I'll take a look at it, but for the most part, I'm not really focusing until the season starts and you go week to week.


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[Assistant] That's when you really start getting to it. I don't think it's a huge spectacle.


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[Assistant] For the most part, for me, I'm focusing on the NHL playoffs and the NBA playoffs and major league baseball. I'm trying to focus on who decided it was a good idea to have the NBA and NHL playoffs at the same gosh darn time. Cause now I have to watch a game every single night.


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[Assistant] Oh dude. Next eight months, this is wild! Dude, I watch two to three a day.


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[Assistant] Let's be real, if you deck somebody, you rip their head off, it's a $5,000 fine because it's the maximum allowable under their CE-CBA.


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[Assistant] Only 5,000? Yeah, for a max. I mean, unless you get a call from the Department of Public Justice.


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[Assistant] Standard engagement. The other thing about NBA officiating and Brandon, you bring this up. Now they can challenge everything and they know, they almost never overturned. They'd be like, all right, let's challenge that blocking foul. Right. And then they challenge it. And it's just a big waste of time.


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[Assistant] What games? Okay, we're talking all of the NFL games now.


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[Assistant] What are you most excited for, knowing what you know now of the games that we've seen that are coming out? Five, what do you have? I am very excited for the Black Friday games.


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[Assistant] Uh, or there's one, I think. I don't know. I mean, they always schedule the Lions to lose on those giving.


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[Assistant] And, and then the Cowboys to lose as well. But there's a game on, on Black Friday. Great chart.


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[Assistant] I only really know DAX and the ones that I own. People's numbers. I don't know anyone's numbers.


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[Assistant] We're talking about, I mean, they want the young crowd. They want Gen Z. They want like the people that watch the Super Bowl once a year. That's what the NFL is aiming for. And it makes sense. That's fair.


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[Assistant] Now, let's just say hypothetically speaking, you guys were in charge of putting together the schedule.


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[Assistant] What would you guys do differently, if anything, uh, for...


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[Assistant] Making these schedules, would you have random games on Wednesdays, Tuesdays, Thursdays? What would you do to sort of spice up?


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[Assistant] Get some people excited for what's going on. I personally like the Black Friday, uh, game. I think that's gonna be a hit. What would you guys do?


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[Assistant] They should institute a rule where the Super Bowl teams play the first game of the next year. Something like that. What do you guys think?


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[Assistant] But I just feel like we can create some more rivalries or just something innovative if we, if we just think a little bit, you know.


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[Assistant] Sam, you realize you're going to lose to the commanders twice to Sam Howell this year. Sam Howell.


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[Assistant] Forward thinking now, forward thinking. Yes, advance, advance, losing.


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[Assistant] So before we get out of here, cause this is going to be a bit of a shorter one.


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[Assistant] What's going to happen is there's going to be at least nine wins and they're going to be your Packers. I'm the inverse, Tom. If the Packers suck, I will be shouting it everywhere.


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[Assistant] Interesting. And now, okay, interesting.


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[Assistant] Uh, any last words before we go to this countdown? Zero Gravity Football and Flooded Fields. Ooh, I'd watch that. Let's go. When do you think we'll be playing on Mars? I mean...


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[Assistant] Well, 65, 69, so I lose. I'm a bit nice. 104, oh five. Five, what'd you get? What'd you get buddy? I got 82, I got 30.


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[Assistant] With online dating, the funniest thing to me is...


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[Assistant] Women put on their profiles like honest, like what's the most important thing is honesty. And there's filters all over their pictures. So I'm just like, okay. Alright. And the other thing is, is everyone does not, no one trusts your height when you put it on there. So if you say, you know, I'm clinic, I'm measured at five 11.


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[Assistant] Scooter is very tall. Scooter. Scooter's taller than all of us. You're 6'2", right, Scooter? Listen, I'm 6'1 and a half. Okay. 6'1 and a half. But you would list yourself at 6'2", would you not? I'd list myself at 6'1". Okay. 6'1". Oh, that's right.


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[Assistant] I tell people I'm sixth one and not sixth one and a half because I still struggle to dunk sometimes, so it's not like a badge of honor, you know?


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[Assistant] No, I was honestly shocked by how tall Scooter was. I was like, Oh my God, like you're way taller than I expected. I feel like that's how it is sometimes. Like for personalities, you just never know.


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[Assistant] But, so are we going with the punishment for five? Next week we're making his profile on Tinder.


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[Assistant] Remember, always put ugly people next to you in the pictures so you look hotter. Which means you're probably gonna put me in your pictures, aren't you?


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[Assistant] I have coming out after this. Timber Wolf fans after the season, we're doing all NBA teams, then we're switching to NFL teams before the season, so get ready.


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[Assistant] So, I've got some good ones. What's one? On the top of your head, right now.


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[Assistant] Well, I just released a bit on the Oakland days on NHL season debriefing, probably a few congrats videos on the NHL and how things go. So, should be an interesting little weekend.


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[Assistant] Oh, and Tom, for those unaware, what's happening in three weeks? What are you about to...


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[Assistant] That's how you gotta do it. And then three weeks for us and me and you five until we go to North Carolina. And yeah, you're ready. Oh dude, I'm going to be, I do. I have had no time to train three weeks from now. Most of it's just like regular workouts. I got to announce this in Berkeley.


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[Assistant] The calculation considers the distance and angle to the goal, pressure from opposition defenders and the goalkeeper's position.


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[Assistant] The speed of the player at the moment he shoots is also crucial.


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[Assistant] As is the question of whether it's a shot or header.


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[Assistant] A special case and example are like the penalty kick. Here the goal probability is 77%. Each case is unique, but expected goals allows every chance to be objectively evaluated.


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[Assistant] In this example, Robert Lewandowski's pass increases the goal probability considerably because Thiago has a clear shot on goal and is standing centrally. Oh, how easy did they make that look?


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[Assistant] The goal probability therefore refers to a very specific shot. X goals, on the other hand, is the sum of several goal probabilities. This makes it possible to calculate a player or a team's possible goals in a match, which allows the efficiency to be newly evaluated.


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[Assistant] The game is characterized by a fast pace and pressing. In this example, Lightcigarette is central position with a man over and ends up with a good chance to score.


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[Assistant] Let's look at the lineups. Compared to the starting lineup, the average positions show Leipzig are very compact and concentrate on the centre.


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[Assistant] It looks a similar situation with the buy-in players, but on average they're set up in a slightly more attacking formation and are further apart. Tactical changes, made whether in possession or not, can in this way be identified during the game, creating completely new possibilities for match analysis and evaluation.


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[Assistant] NFL honors. They announced this in November, and I don't find out until like the day before the Super Bowl. Do you get invited? I was like, yes we do, but we also have months too.


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[Assistant] So I was, so here's the thing, so I might have to get


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[Assistant] Two tuxedos, because that Thursday I was invited to the St. Jude Charity Dinner in Vegas because of 30 and 30, and like that's where it's like the Pat Summerall like award and they're honoring like Tony Romo and stuff.


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[Assistant] And so I'm going to that with Johnny Barks and then I don't know like what the attire is for the NFL. I totally want to get like a Packers tuxedo made 100% and that will cost way too much money and I will not be able to justify it, but it looks good.


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[Assistant] I thought he was talking about like the response to it was the team.


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[Assistant] I only saw the tweet that came out afterwards that was like McDermott apologized about it, so I didn't see this. I just had assumed


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[Assistant] That, it was like, oh, okay, like the coming together, it's still in bad taste, but it was like the coming together of the country and teamwork. Oh no, that's, that's really bad.


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[Assistant] I'm so sorry, I'm now looking at this thing on Twitter and the responses to it are just godly.


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[Assistant] I said what I wanted from this season, besides progress from Jordan Love and to know if he's the guy or not.


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[Assistant] The number one thing I wanted is just for a moment for the NFC North to collectively crap their pants at the idea that the Packers may have another good quarterback. And that has happened this week. And so me, whatever happens this season, I'm blessed. I feel great.


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[Assistant] We have, like, you can name like two guys in our, for our safety crew right now. We traded Rasul Douglas who was playing the best corner back up, he was the best corner right now on the team.


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[Assistant] Doesn't matter! They did really well against Patrick Mahomes. They held him in check. That was really, really nice. The offense Jordan Lovelay's last three games have looked so damn good.


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[Assistant] I do. Yea, no I do. I mean the Packers schedule is, is not terrible coming up. So yea, you got us.


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[Assistant] And the fact that they're able to do that, like, yeaah, I'm super stoked for the team. Oh yeaah.


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[Assistant] I feel like because it was before, he's a bust, guaranteed. But now it's like, well, he's playing well, but now let's wait and see. So it's...


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[Assistant] His biggest problem was inconsistencies, and those have gotten better.


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[Assistant] I would say it's, it's a, to answer your question Perna, it's kind of a mix of like a number of things because there were a number of things that were the problem. I think Matt LaFleur's play calling has gotten better. That's one. Because you had receivers running in the same, like literally the same route or in the same area and that didn't help anybody.


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[Assistant] The thing is also, and that's the great, like, there's been no Jair Alexander, no Aaron Jones, Dave Bakhtiar, of course, has been out for the whole year. You know, like, you get Aaron Jones and Jair Alexander back too, like, we rockin' baby.


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[Assistant] What happens if you wind up getting the three seed scooter? Like the cowboys get the three seed and the Packers come to Dallas and they knock you out of the playoffs again.


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[Assistant] I mean, that's what Obermar did. You got, uh, the Philadelphia Eagles on Sunday Night Football. You nervous?


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[Assistant] Scooter, what if, okay, legitimately, right, if the Cowboys win, I actually picked the Cowboys to win. I did. I picked the Cowboys to win. If the Cowboys get blown out by the Eagles, just like the 49ers just did to them, does that change anything for you?


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[Assistant] So like, scooter them, so like, you see, right, what the Eagles, what happened to that in the 49ers game. And I'm sure it's vindication for you, right? Cause you're kinda like, I told you, but we'll see on Sunday.


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[Assistant] But does that make you nervous then for the 49ers in the postseason? Like if it's gonna go down to that because they, for me, like they're far and away the best team in the NFL right now.


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[Assistant] No, no, that's all good. That's all well and good. I'm saying like, really? You think like, the 49ers, dude, those three games, they were so beat to hell. Like, they didn't have some of their best players.


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[Assistant] I know it's funny, this is a legit question. Do you think there will be touchdown score tonight?


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[Assistant] That actually is a really good punishment that Scooter has to listen to the eChristmas sound.


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[Assistant] Perna, we still have that other punishment for Scooter, the one we never got to use and they're playing the Eagles this week.


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[Assistant] About him having to promote a tweet about how much better the Eagles are than the Cowboys and then promote it.


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[Assistant] One in nineteen, eighteen, seventeen, sixteen, fifteen, four.


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[Assistant] Man, mine was- I could do a- I could try to do that though, that's fine. I could get- I could make it work.


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[Assistant] Are you allergic to cheese? Yeah. Like I'm not lactose intolerant. Like I am like allergic. I was in the hospital six times as a kid. Yeah. I spent birthdays in the hospital. Yeah. I used to trigger asthma attacks. Yeah, dude. Buttermilk cheese can never eat dairy. Cheese is in everything. And you're a Packers fan. I know.


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[Assistant] Brother, you wanna get uncomfortable? Dude, I would make people uncomfortable. Best pre-show content ever.


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[Assistant] What's up, guys? Hope you're doing well. I'm your host for today, Scooter Magruder. We've got a fantastic show lined up for you. We also got a special guest joining us today. But before we get into any of that- Wait, Scooter, are you having a bad-


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[Assistant] Not, oh yeaah, okay, so, you know what, let's bring, let's bring the chat in, okay, let's bring the chat in on some of this, uhm, in the pre-show, we were just talking about, uh,


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[Assistant] I may or may not be getting engaged soon, okay?


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[Assistant] I think I'm gonna rent out a basketball court and just have like a basketball session for like the, the bachelor party.


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[Assistant] Well yeaah, that's what I'm thinking about for uh, we'll see, we'll see, I don't know.


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[Assistant] of their actions and I was like, I turned 21 and I was like, I don't, I don't really see the point in doing this.


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[Assistant] But I do see the point in doing clickbait. Joining me in the top left, we have TDG Tom Grosse. Tom, how are you doing today?


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[Assistant] Talking about- Yeah, you better get that checked. That's probably a prostate issue. Talking about prostate issues.


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[Assistant] We're going to start this bad boy off with something.


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[Assistant] Commanders fans have been waiting for since they were the Redskins. A playoff win. Ladies and gentlemen.


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[Assistant] Dan Snyder has officially agreed to terms. It's not official yet, but the terms have been agreed to. The Washington commanders will have new management, rapid reaction. What are our thoughts? I'm a little bit sad. Who wants to take this one first?


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[Assistant] At this point, I'm just waiting for the official confirmation, and when that happens, I am popping open a nice bottle of champagne, probably a $500 one, let's call it from the Champagne region of France, maybe a Bordeaux to go along with it, and the finest Cuban cigar that I can smoke, because it's just as illegal as Dan Snyder's reign has been for the past 25 years. Wait, wait, we have to, hold on!


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[Assistant] We made a bet for this on clickbait! Oh crap, we did? We did!


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[Assistant] But who benefits the most from this move? Is it Dan Snyder himself because he's about to inherit a whole bunch of money? He bought it with a group of investors for $800 million.


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[Assistant] He bought it for 800 million, held it for 20 plus years, now he's selling it for six. Which really isn't that... like...


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[Assistant] So it's not just the massive increase, like he was making BANG just for destroying that football team.


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[Assistant] Getting back to the facts, the seriousness, the issues.


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[Assistant] I wanna know from Tree and Perna, do you guys think this will have any influence at all?


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[Assistant] Will this affect anything? Will they be better now? Next season? Or is this going to take some time to trickle in for them to get up to it?


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[Assistant] So you really believe that though, Brandon? You really think that if your owner sucks, you can't have like a good team?


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[Assistant] Brandon, let me correct you one thing. It wasn't that he was not paying players. He was overpaying for terrible players in free agency that did nothing. So it was even worse. And he was meddling in most of those affairs.


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[Assistant] Ladies and gentlemen, I told you guys we would have a special guest for this show. And appearing in your bottom left screen, it is none other.


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[Assistant] Can we give a warm welcome to Wildflower? Can we get some W's in the chat?


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[Assistant] So Wildflower, we were just wondering, rapid reaction, Dan Snyder is no more. How are you feeling about this?


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[Assistant] That makes a lot of sense. That makes a lot of sense. And now, guys, I did say a special guest was joining. I was not lying. Ladies and gentlemen, give it up for Five Points Vids. He is joining us on Remote Location 5. Where are you at? What's going on? Take us through it.


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[Assistant] So far, so good. And it looks like we got your special guest.


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[Assistant] Marcus Whitman joins us. Not to be confused with the American physician and missionary, we are welcoming Marcus Whitman, NFL Draft Analysis. He is also a Packers fan. Marcus!


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[Assistant] Welcome to Clickbait. How are you doing? Tell us a little bit about what you do, how you got started, and welcome.


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[Assistant] Wow, Canada. How dare you.


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[Assistant] Bro! Okay, well listen, I'm glad that that did not happen to you, that they did not round up all the descendants, but please tell us how you got from Grandpa


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[Assistant] How do we go from smallpox to NFL draft analysis?


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[Assistant] Thanks for coming on, Marcus. First question, though.


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[Assistant] How did you even get started into this? Alright, clearly your family wants you to go into like the missionary work and all that stuff, but how did you get over here to the NFL side of things? Take us through it.


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[Assistant] Okay, so sort of over time, you had your hand in a lot of different.


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[Assistant] And guys, if you guys have any questions, feel free, uh, to jump in. It doesn't happen.


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[Assistant] Where is Marcus Whitman on this scale?


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[Assistant] Okay, before we continue and chop it up and tell us who our teams need to draft, uh,


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[Assistant] We need, we, we've had a couple of analysts on this show before and we always ask, okay?


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[Assistant] What was your best hit? Like you called this before anyone else called it. Okay, so we need the best and we also need the flip side. Like you went, you went for it.


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[Assistant] Yeah, it was a first round pick, uh, first, like sixth overall by the eighties.


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[Assistant] There you go. Don't mind the donations. We have a little thing that uh, whoever gets donated the most amount of money gets punished in the next episode. That's how.


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[Assistant] These things work here. Oh, okay. Yeah, so it's a little odd, but it's our thing and we love it.


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[Assistant] Yeah, that was how Jalen Smith actually ended up with the Cowboys after a couple seasons, unfortunately.


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[Assistant] By getting back to the draft, Marcus, who can you see as like, who's the sleeper?


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[Assistant] Who's gonna shoot up the draft board? It's gonna shock all of us. We didn't see this one coming. Who's that guy for this draft, Marcus?


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[Assistant] And of course we gotta ask the inverse. What are some players you might see slipping? Do you see a Jaylen Carter falling because of all the troubles she's been in? Who are some of these players who might end up not going as high as they thought they might be?


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[Assistant] I wanna open it up to my colleagues if you guys have, uh, any questions you would like to ask. I've got a couple more if there are no imminent questions from you guys.


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[Assistant] It's Jeopardy rules, and then you have the question. What is the question? Lie bad. I didn't have a question for you. No further questions.


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[Assistant] The Niners and the Eagles, but you just didn't mention.


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[Assistant] The Cowboys. What, what are your thoughts on the Cowboys since we're here, Marques? Let's, let's, what are your thoughts?


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[Assistant] I like those moves as well. What do we need to do in this draft? How can we bring this full circle?


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[Assistant] And just go into the season full steam ahead. Who do we need on the Cowboys, Marcus?


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[Assistant] Uh, I think we actually re- we s- we brought in Jonathan Hankins. Yeah, that's what I'm talking about.


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[Assistant] And we brought him back this year too. So he's back, he'll be back, but Carlos Watkins is not back.


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[Assistant] I want to get one more question in. If you guys have anything, you can ask that as well, but we know you're a Packers fan. Is this correct information?


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[Assistant] Okay, so Marcus, being a Packers fan.


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[Assistant] How fed up are you with this whole Aaron Rodgers saga?


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[Assistant] Are you milking it on your YouTube channel? Are you wishing this man was traded seven months ago? Like what's going on? Cause we know, we know one perspective. We need another.


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[Assistant] Marcus, last question. Where does Lamar Jackson end up this season? Is he on the Ravens with OBJ? Did OBJ know something and that's why he signed with the Ravens? What do you know that we don't, Marcus? Tell us now.


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[Assistant] Marcus Whitman, ladies and gentlemen, where can we find and follow your content?


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[Assistant] And what's your podcast also? Stop playing. Play your podcast. What is your podcast?


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[Assistant] Marcus Whitman, ladies and gentlemen, we appreciate you coming on. You're welcome back anytime, brethren.


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[Assistant] Three more hours of programming! Saquon Holding Out, what are our thoughts? Brandon, go!


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[Assistant] Saquon was the carrier of that offense. Daniel Jones was a passenger. Get that bag, buddy, because quite frankly,


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[Assistant] I mean, I'm with you guys. It's not the mid 90s where there are paid big bucks. Get your money, Saquon, because look how they did Zeke. Get your money.


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[Assistant] Uh, Buck's refusing to trade Devin White. Devin White wants 17 to 18 million dollars. Is he worth it? Tree, you're shaking your head.


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[Assistant] I mean, Devin White is a incredible linebacker, but I mean, Lauren Sapp even said it in a few of his videos, like he was, had a bit of a lazy streak in him last year. I don't know if it was because of how bad Tampa Bay was or just.


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[Assistant] Because he was upset at the pay he was getting, or lack thereof. He was a fifth overall pick, so he should be getting some decent compensation. But at the same time, I...


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[Assistant] I don't know what you really do if you're Tampa Bay because I feel like this is the kind of guy that holds out and doesn't play if he doesn't get what he wants.


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[Assistant] Last thing before we get out of here, Brown Stadium sponsor is no more. They said we're out. Thoughts?


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[Assistant] No, it's going to be Pilot Fry at Lang J Stadium and we're going to like it. Alright guys, what you got coming out this week? Brandon, anything dropping?


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[Assistant] Kinky kinky. I will be looking forward to that. Uh, TDG, what you got coming out?


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[Assistant] Well, I did AFC free agency sports ball came out earlier today. I'm going to get AFC out in a few days and then NHL playoff haters guide probably this weekend.


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[Assistant] I have a announcement video dropping soon. I've been doing something the past three months that I want to bring you guys in and finally let you guys know what I've been doing.


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[Assistant] I got a Orlando Magic after the, after the season video dropping. I will also be doing.


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[Assistant] I said I was going to do a live stream of your first night after marriage. That's what I'll take that to into content. Uh, this is how Dak feels now that seeing is gone. This is a blessing and disguise.


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[Assistant] On your page, I'm pretty sure. On your Twitter. I was like, what the heck? Ladies and gentlemen, Emodat coming next week. This has been ClickPage 3.


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[Assistant] I think, like, America's team really struggled this week because, you know, Monday night against the Giants, it was just, they just didn't show up. You know, Jordan Love didn't have the game that he had for the past month. The defense didn't look good. Special teams didn't look good. But America's team is paying against the Buccaneers on Sunday, so I think they'll have a nice bounce that game.


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[Assistant] The best part is you could be talking about Scooter or me. And it works both ways with this super, so. How did, uh, Denver's America's team do?


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[Assistant] Oh, I'm kinda dizzy now. What the hell?


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[Assistant] I think the calp, legit, the calp, like, in all honesty, the cowboys were impressive as hell, uhm.


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[Assistant] You have to, I mean, Micah Parsons is just a monster.