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[Assistant] We didn't do it. I've actually, I've never, I've only seen one Star Wars. It was the last one that came out in the theater, so.


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[Assistant] We did, well we didn't have to but we chose to because we got so much hate on my Instagram account. From Disney World? Going to Disney World. It's the happiest place on Earth.


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[Assistant] That's not true, yeaah. And so uhm, kinda what I was saying is uhm,


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[Assistant] You know, just like if you go to a church, that doesn't make you holy. You know, if you go to a place, it doesn't make you unholy. Like, who, Christ is living within me, so wherever I go, I carry Christ with me. And I was thinking about how, like, whenever Jesus went and He sat with the, uh,


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[Assistant] I am clean, because I am pure.


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[Assistant] It was mainly a lot of Christians that were commenting such hateful things. And then people who aren't Christians are looking at my page being like, what's wrong with these people? They're so mean, they're so hateful. And so what I'm saying is like, as a Christian, I'm not just going, because some people were trying to defend me saying, well, she probably doesn't know everything. And I'm like, no, it's not that I'm.


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[Assistant] Don't know, it's just that for me following Christ doesn't look like not going into hard places.


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[Assistant] It is about your conviction level too. If you feel convicted, don't do it. But, and like mom and I did a podcast because we wanted to like kind of break it down. Let's actually look at the Bible because I think that a lot of times even we're so quick to just throw out our


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Commentary or our opinion and we like say that's a Christian thing to do, but is that what Christ did? You know, have we read?


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[Assistant] But she's not a doctor, right? And so she's telling the doctor everything that she's read and she's Googled and everything. And Mella Jo said,


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[Assistant] I love that, cause you know, just enough to be dangerous. I think a lot of times Christians are


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[Assistant] Like that, if they're not reading and tethered to the word, you know just enough to be dangerous. You're spitting out things like you know what you're saying because you heard somebody saying it, but you're not tethered to the word. And so you're being a wise fool right now. You're saying things that sound good, but it's not rooted in truth.


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[Assistant] It's so funny because it's so Memaw joke, like she'll just, I'll be talking to her, she'll be like, oh, it's just irregular behavior.


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[Assistant] Christian's podcast is amazing. I'll promote it if he won't. Four eight men podcast because you're right, men need to be men. And these are some good men encouraging each other and speaking truth into each other's lives.


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[Assistant] I know Johanna. I gave it to Johanna. She has bad m- I mean, she's got to drive or ride in the front seat. She can't.


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[Assistant] That motion sickness bad. But she said, she put this on.


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[Assistant] And she could actually look at her phone and not bother, not bother a bit.


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[Assistant] Cecilio driving, she's looking directions or whatever. I mean, she couldn't do that. And where they live, they got a commute everywhere they go now. Yeah. So they live out there in the middle of nothing. Even, even a curvy road. Yeah. But she said, I could not believe what it did for her.


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[Assistant] With the hell fighters, okay? They literally fight the devil and the demon.


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[Assistant] But, hey, I wanna talk about this a little bit, okay, cause these two, these two people, I met them about, me and Phillip met them about, oh, what, five or six years ago? Yep, yep. Okay. And they are, both of them are extraordinary people.


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[Assistant] So Richard wrote this book before he passed away, succumbed to cancer. Okay.


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[Assistant] Life a most wonderful gift. How to keep your joy until your miracle happens. Jenna just sent this to me.


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[Assistant] No, no, it's wonderful, okay, and I, I really didn't realize


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[Assistant] How many promises God gives us?


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[Assistant] This book is full of them. Okay, but this man fought cancer and he, he's got a bucket list fulfilled right here. 101.


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[Assistant] Cause that's on yours. No, but he did everything else besides that. Okay.


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[Assistant] But anyway, these two people have impacted my life.


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[Assistant] Okay. Because yo, the big C got him. Okay. And he never gave in or gave up.


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[Assistant] Okay, he was the same man all the way through it, and he's got, he, what a resume of a life.


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[Assistant] He found, he was the founder of Hellfighters. Okay. International Hellfighters. Which, which he takes people that are drug addicted, alcohol, all kinds of problems. Okay.


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[Assistant] They have a place for them to live. They actually train them and give them a, uh, uh, put them up apprentice program on, on, uh, mechanics. Okay.


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[Assistant] So they've done a lot to help a lot of people, but it was just there, uh, you know.


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[Assistant] This book is about all being positive about everything.


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[Assistant] This is a man that's a, a, a, a billionaire. Yeah. Okay. That was his plane.


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[Assistant] He said, I'm going to ask you to let Michael do it because when Michael says a prayer, God stopped what he's doing immediately and listen.


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[Assistant] No, no, and he tells me this story and I said, wait a minute. I said, why did you even bother waking me up? I said, and tell me the story that I'm more, I'm going to pass out first.


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[Assistant] I said, then you go, then I'm gonna wake back up just in time to witness the crash.


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[Assistant] Mhm. And hey, I'll say if I could just get there with a pan, I could find some gold. I mean, hey, he looks.


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[Assistant] Oh yeaah, yeaah, cause look, all you mind is to tell you, where you got a lot of black sand, there's gold. And, and paint rock river was full of black sand. There's gold.


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[Assistant] Uh, yeaah, still there. I lived there for four years, and I should have been painting the whole time. I'd probably be a pay-a-down by now.


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[Assistant] Watch out. You should, you should make that. I got a bunch of losers as well. They ain't finding the gold.


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[Assistant] But y'all went full red carpet. I always do. That's what people expect me to be. Yes.


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[Assistant] Well, I'm just saying. I love your character in person. Well, everybody loves Uncle Sam. Oh yeaah.


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[Assistant] Yes I did. Okay. How many people do y'all figure was there at the, at the?


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[Assistant] Well, because I recognized everybody that was there. Oh yeaah.


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[Assistant] One way or the other, everybody was impacted with everybody that was there. They had relationships with them.


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[Assistant] Because Jace, when he was in high school, he graduated, you know, and then, then he said, well, hey, I should have done it while I was in class with him, but I didn't. But since now that I graduated,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He said, I'm fixed to preach the gospel to every classmate I had. And as you? In high school. And hey, they went on a run. Jace, him, Blake.


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[Assistant] Bunch of others, they went on a run for like four years, you know, and they went everywhere. If they had to, they would go to a pool hall and Jason will put a $20 bill in and said, okay, here's the deal.


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[Assistant] If you can beat my man, you get this $20 bill, but if he beat you, you get a Bible study.


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[Assistant] Yeah. So they, they were just any, any reason and any way they did everything they could do, you know, preach the gospel and they, and they, he preached it to one of them.


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[Assistant] God, family's growing. Yeah. So which was also.


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[Assistant] Too much excitement? Nah, I don't want no zip line. Now I might do the parasailing. Yeah, y'all should- Nah, I'm gonna do that. Yeah, y'all should-


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[Assistant] So the helicopter, you know, the guys get on it, they go up and they get up there where it's supposed to be barely can see it look like a mosquito and the first one out. Okay. He jumps out, his shoot opens, then closes and is doing this coming down. Okay. He.


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[Assistant] Needless to say, we did not go airborne that day.


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[Assistant] No, no. And look, I mean, he dropped, you know, all the way down.


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[Assistant] So that's why I said no, since they, they let actually let you up and then crank you back down. You don't jump out of a plane.


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[Assistant] So I'm gonna, I'm gonna do that just to say I, okay, I've been passionate.


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[Assistant] Hey, hey, bucket list. No, no, cause my daughter, okay, Tracer, she went, tell them, you know, she's


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[Assistant] And she said it was all about hope. She loved it.


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[Assistant] Everybody that does that says that I'm never going to be able to do it. I've always watched. I watch everything out when I'm out hunting.


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[Assistant] It's gotta be, it's gotta be, you know, you're talking free. There's a difference between flying and falling. Yeah, that's when you're free though. Okay. It's when you're flying.


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[Assistant] No, no, I want to swim with dolphins because they're cool. Well, yeah, they're dolphins. That was like when we went to Hawaii, Doug Dynasty did. Hawaii. Look, and I'm in, I'm in on a surfboard. They want us to try surfing. Oh, you did pretty good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well no no, so I'm out there and I'm sitting on this surfboard and something catches my eye and it's right next to my surfboard. No. Look, it's a giant sea turtle.


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[Assistant] And he comes up and he's right there and I'm petting this stupid thing.


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[Assistant] And the lady that was my swimmer to keep me safe, she said, what is it with you Robertson?


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[Assistant] She said, I live in the ocean. This is what I do for a living. I live in it. And she said, that's the first time I've ever seen a sea turtle come up and you, you know, you're sitting there petting him like he's a pet dog. And I said, well, hey, what can I tell you? You're like Aquaman. That's it. Yeah.


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[Assistant] What's the most comfortable thing you've got on, JD?


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[Assistant] Hey, yeah, no, you're who I heard it from. No, no, no. Cause I always have to say, okay, you've never lived near a river or you've never been to Vietnam. If you don't believe in the flood.


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[Assistant] Okay. It ain't, it ain't, you know, this is not rain drops. This is forest gum. Yeah. This is not rain drops.


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[Assistant] This is a wall of water falling.


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[Assistant] No, no, I'm serious. You would think you was under a, what is a waterfall?


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[Assistant] Hey, this is, I mean, hey, when you can make 300 men that are in formation disappear. Now that's rain.


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[Assistant] Okay, I ain't talking about just, oh no, they're blurry. No, they disappear because it's just a wall of waterfall.


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[Assistant] Hey, no, I don't. Yes, I never have put this back here.


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[Assistant] You sit lopsided. Not enough cushion back there.


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[Assistant] So hey, I'll wear it and not on that pickpocket can't pickpocket me. You sure?


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[Assistant] The food. The best one was I took them bad moves.


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[Assistant] No, no, you gotta understand every year. Okay. I hunted with the German.


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[Assistant] So every year I would go to the Swiss Alps to hunt roe deer. Did you yodel?


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[Assistant] No, but anyway, so one year I was getting ready to do it and I said, well, you know, I would like to see the Swiss apps now. And I said, really? Y'all want to go? You know, there's this woman I had, we had our first child. It was Bavaria. Yeah, Bavaria. So we go down there and they go and go walking. Okay. Well, I come back after hunting, you know, it's dark and Hey, Christine and the kids know where to be found.


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[Assistant] So her and my daughter are lost. It's dark.


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[Assistant] And you know, I said, sir, I have no idea. My son is so crazy. It ain't no 10 or where he's at. He said, well, he's at the officer's club and apparently he's doing very, very good at the one arm bandits because he just hit the jackpot.


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[Assistant] Oh, he's playing slot? Yes. Oh yeah, he's playing slot at the darn officers club. And he hit the jackpot? Oh yeah. And I'm saying, wait, I said, sir, you're, I said, come on, you're pulling my leg, right?


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[Assistant] Well, here's what happened. How much money would it have been? Oh, hey, he had a big jackpot. So it's pretty good cash. But anyway, he went to the school building and the doors were locked. Well, he said, he said a


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[Assistant] I never could figure out why they sent me there. Cause the first time I was there three days.


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[Assistant] You got to think about three days. I'm not even checked in good.


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[Assistant] Uh, no, but it was just like, you know, that cup, you know, pitiful, you know, but they kept every time I would get.


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[Assistant] Do a four year tour over there, and come back.


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[Assistant] Then the next thing I know, I'm back there again. And I said, wait a minute, what's wrong with this picture? When I get here, I get in trouble.


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[Assistant] And I stay in trouble the whole four years I'm here. And then what do y'all do when I get back to the world?


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[Assistant] We lived in Swabrookin, we lived in Baumholder, and I think that, uh. We lived in Swabrookin twice.


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[Assistant] Well, we'd lived there for like 10 years. We live there twice. I know. Yeah. I kept just sending me there.


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[Assistant] And then when I called the unit, the stupid unit said, you're not here. I said, Oh, I'll beg your pardon.


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[Assistant] I'm here. I feel like I'm here. Yeaah. Yeaah. I'm here with my wife and child. And children.


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[Assistant] So hey, send somebody to pick me up, since y'all have screwed the pooch.


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[Assistant] Did you ever tell him you were there? No, no, hey, I kept telling him, hey, I kept asking my bosses, okay, what is going on here, folks?


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[Assistant] They told me, Hey, go sit behind your desk. You ain't got a job. They figured I would screw up where they could get rid of me, bust me and get rid of me. Well, instead, Hey, no, that was Vietnam.


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[Assistant] They finally got it right though. Look, they finally got it right after 24 and a half years. Cause they finally said, okay, Robinson, hey, you got this many years. It's a streak. We're getting rid of you. They did me a favor.


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[Assistant] And hey, let me tell a part of the story. I had to move in my senior year.


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[Assistant] To a new school you did. Yeah. Yes. I moved my senior year and done another half a year at a brand new school, which was the pits now.


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[Assistant] Cause I didn't know when my, my party concluded with I drank a gallon of beer at the house.


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[Assistant] Well hey, it had a bottle about that big of a round. It looked like the one that uh, uh, Mr. T. That's called 40 in.


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[Assistant] And I'm ready to go home. But I've got a daughter that's in high school.


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[Assistant] No, but it actually done my daughter really good. Cause she graduated with all her classmates.


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[Assistant] And she was gonna go to Duke and I wasn't all for that cause I was used to be a Duke man. You used to be a Duke man? Oh yeah. Where does that come from? Cause hey, cause they always won the championship in basketball.


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[Assistant] I don't know. Hey, he just roots for whoever's the best Phil. But then they gave her a better deal. Yeah. Texas A&M got everybody.


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[Assistant] Yeah. Fun facts on the dot com room.


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[Assistant] Go with it, JD. Sure. Isaiah 6, 8. Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, whom shall I send?


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[Assistant] Well hey look, the album today, I just got to try it and see if it was really as good as it was the first time.


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[Assistant] Monroe's has got a black panther. The white tiger was beautiful too wasn't it?


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[Assistant] Did it take him out? I don't know. No, they didn't kill it. It didn't kill him, but it hurt him really bad. It didn't mess your day up. No, no, it hurt him really bad. I ain't never hurt anybody.


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[Assistant] But, I ain't had an interview with him afterwards.


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[Assistant] But he's got like a couple of pet tigers living with him. Still?


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[Assistant] No, I'm not going back. That's not true. What? Cause I had the man change his mind and said, hey, I want another child.


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[Assistant] Hello, that's right, this is the entertaining part of the entertainment. Hey, guys. Step right up. Alright, boys. Y'all ready? Everybody back up to the, to the back. And hey, show them what happens.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What happened? Oh, I didn't get arrested. Tell us what happened. Last night, I was playing poker, and then I got busted out, so I left, and evidently, okay, I was kind of, I guess what do you say, eased over to the right too much?


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[Assistant] What time of clock was this? One o'clock. Pay you?


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[Assistant] Okay, we're driving to Monroe. Mm-hmm. Yeah, we're 26, 630. Well, when I look, here comes sirens and cop cars, uh, two ambulances, then three cop cars, and then another pickup truck with lights on. Past your road? Yeah, heading, you know, south on 34. Yeah.


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[Assistant] So I was saying, that must be in a car accident somewhere.


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[Assistant] Since he said, I was just with your people, but that's what was funny. He said, I was just with your people. I was waiting. Who was my people?


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[Assistant] Bikers. So he talked to me for like five minutes and he said, okay, you know, drive safe. I said, I will. Where'd you get pulled over? Uh, right there at, uh, uh, Johnny's pizza. The next, the next light where the paper mill is. Yeah.


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[Assistant] I'll tell you what, circle K or whatever it is. Oh yea, yea, yea. Yea, right there.


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[Assistant] I know he told me his name, but hey, I'm terrible at names. He said I'm a state trooper. So and so.


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[Assistant] Okay, look they've got a job to do to protect the citizens and they do it to the best of their ability.


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[Assistant] Then he thought about something else. Now. Yeaah.


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[Assistant] Nope, they're actually communicating and digging for insects.


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[Assistant] And, you know, then the rest of it is they're digging for ants. What is the, uh,


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[Assistant] No, no, I know you eat the whole thing. He's good. Yeah, eat the whole thing.


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[Assistant] You know, I had, I had somebody had king crab one time. It's got too strong of favor.


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[Assistant] But the soft shell crab, he ain't got that bad taste.


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[Assistant] Here's a question for you. Where do all the insects go in the wintertime?


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[Assistant] Because, you know, everything seems to disappear. Well, they're kind of like the bear. They actually go into hibernation.


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[Assistant] Yeah, that's the worst thing you do is when you get ready for to have fried eggs, you crack it.


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[Assistant] And then it's like you say, it's just about a high for chicken in there. Has that happened? Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Yeah. Has that happened to you? Yeah. You ain't never had busted an egg that's been fertilized.


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[Assistant] It's a good, it's a good adventure. It's a thing to do what you want.


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[Assistant] Uh oh, wait a minute. What was this about the barbecue ribs?


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[Assistant] So there you go. Yeah. The ribs are really good. All the food was good. It was a great event. We loved it. Um, thought it was awesome.


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[Assistant] Well, my son, uh, I had my middle child graduated from college. And so, uh, I thought he was your youngest. No, Blake is the middle. Okay. So he graduated. We went to that. So it was very exciting.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There you go. Messiah, I have heard you play. You played a bluesy song. You just, you just.


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[Assistant] Okay, you were clowning around and you sang a song about, uh, your woman took off and left you.


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[Assistant] You want a money back guarantee. That's right, money back guarantee. And I know. So he wants an IQ test too.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I have seen his defense mechanism when it comes to playing the guitar. He just puts it down? No, no. If somebody's teaching him and everything's going good until they say, okay, Sy, now put this together and I want you to start, you know, sing this little melody. And he's like, hey, have I ever told y'all about the time I caught that fish down at Caney? And he tells a 20 minute story until it's time to go.


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[Assistant] Yeah, Phillip, that's what this podcast is.


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[Assistant] He can be, he can play every chord and I've seen him do it. He can play every chord, but when it comes time to put them together in some kind of melody, then he's like, here go put this up.


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[Assistant] It's tap dancing day. It's what? Tap dancing day.


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[Assistant] I got in there a little bit too late. I should have been there when them MLF boys was there, but.


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[Assistant] Interesting. Why you go fishing with other people is kind of hard because your boat is your tackle bar.


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[Assistant] Deal that hole. Oh yeah. I know what you're talking about. That little, he said that he called it like the guide or something. I don't know. But that broke.


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[Assistant] But hey, my feet used to be tough. They ain't tough as they used to be. I had walked out there in the yard the other day and I was like,


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[Assistant] I do. I kick off my shoes when I get here and I put them on when I walk out the door. Well, I understand why Phil don't wear them.


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[Assistant] Yeaah. Now, I got a question. He rakes him, beaver dams towards him and he rakes him in his, just round his feet.


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[Assistant] Alright boys. Drink it while it's hot. Are you still drinking it while it's hot? Drink it while it's luke, not hot. It's luke.


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[Assistant] They need to teach them cows like they do in Wyoming. How they taught them, they just come down. They let them go all summer and then by October, September, they just start down to the corral.


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[Assistant] I'm kinda like, I'd be a mountain man. So you go in there too?


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[Assistant] Oh yeaah. He's a power lifter. He's got a body slammer.


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[Assistant] She's playful. But that's why I'm dead.


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[Assistant] No. No. You ain't never seen them in class.


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[Assistant] Yeah, you ain't never seen your movies with them spies they get to fightin' a man and a woman. They end up kissin'.


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[Assistant] That's why I tell them, do not touch my little table.


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[Assistant] It's just piled up. It's piled up with junk. Every time I gotta find something, I gotta go through it.


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[Assistant] There's the old theory, if it's not broke, don't fold it.


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[Assistant] That reminds me about why are you living your best life? If you're not, you have that opportunity.


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[Assistant] You can slip though. I would actually, if my feet would toughen up, I'd actually go barefoot.


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[Assistant] He says it's because he, when we was growing up with so poor, he couldn't, he didn't have the right size shoes.


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[Assistant] Oh, no, no, no, I just, he found a bunch of squirrels on the Arkansas Louisiana line.


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[Assistant] That was when I was in the army and I'd come in and go hunt with him and I'd give him army socks which are real thick and that's what he'd have. He'd wear army socks, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He took me hunting there once, and he said, oh, I forgot to tell you, when we just, we just split up and take off, he yelled, hey, I forgot to tell you, and I said, what's that? He said, forever squirrel, there's ten points in a snake.


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[Assistant] And he ain't wearing shoes? And he ain't wearing shoes. No. Okay. I've seen him step aside.


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[Assistant] So many snakes that just, they open their mouth.


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[Assistant] Yeah, this is, this is serious business, okay, cause like, you know, whatever we, uh, brought back to the house, that will supplement meals. Yeah, that's, I've got to eat squirrels.


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[Assistant] Like I'd buy a fat gush. Well, we've talked about this before, but there's a lot of folks out there that don't know it, that squirrels migrate.


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[Assistant] And just everywhere you look, limbs are shaking.


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[Assistant] And everywhere, I mean, everywhere you look, in the trees, limbs are striking, and you're looking at it on the log, laying down, there's


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[Assistant] Probably, well, I came like two boxes of shells.


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[Assistant] Okay, cause that was back in the day when limits, that didn't even come into play.


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[Assistant] It depends on the food source of the range that they'll have. Cause that's like the mountain land. Hills range is up to 400 miles.


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[Assistant] One scoop, and hey, you get 75 of the best minerals, uh,


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[Assistant] Whatever else your system needs. You ain't gotta keep up with all of it. Alright, 75.


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[Assistant] I don't know. Whatever got caught in the sink. Put it in number three wash tub full of water to keep them alive. Carry that, you know, put it in the car, get to the levee, carry it over to Red River.


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[Assistant] And then we would go lucky if there was a sandbar in the middle of it. We'd swim to the sandbar.


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[Assistant] And then set lines out on the shallow side, both sides of that sandbar.


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[Assistant] And of course we had to, whenever we run them, had to swim over.


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[Assistant] I figured y'all had the fun part. You know, take them off. That was Tommy and Phil. Yeaah. You know, I was just helping them tote, helping them catch them and everything.


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[Assistant] When you come, hey, call me, tell me to help her. And I'll come by a court.


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[Assistant] And round up cows for all, all the different farmers that do it together. Well, they'd be at the cotton gin and haul horses tied up and I would jump from one to the other.


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[Assistant] That's pretty good. That's pretty cool. Huh. That about makes me, what if, if you had a time machine. Uh oh.


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[Assistant] And you can do it. Would you go back in the old western days when we were settling in this country?


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[Assistant] And I'm like you, I may not be tough enough to take it, but I would like, yeaah.


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[Assistant] Go to the plains states, okay? And there would be millions of buffalo.


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[Assistant] No, no, the few I've seen, this thing is huge. A buffalo is.


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[Assistant] You think that you could, you know, ride across this. A buffalo? No, I would ride. Right, look, mango ride with a buffalo.


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[Assistant] But anyway, right across the country where you could see, literally, you would have to stop and let them go by. And it might take the whole day for them to go by.


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[Assistant] I was just fixing to say, that's what happened about something comparable happened a couple years ago when we were down there in the Bahamas.


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[Assistant] Okay, we were staying where Taylor Swift, I think it was her summer, summer house. How is this comparable to Moses and the Reds? No, no, look, there's a giant rock out there in the ocean.


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[Assistant] Ocean liner was coming between the giant rock and us, where we were staying.


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[Assistant] I come home like, you know, from vacation. Go to days and practice my music. That's when I had the band.


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[Assistant] He's got a picture of that giant rock, except there's one thing missing. This is like about 10 miles. The water is gone.


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[Assistant] The waters go, that's just the tide. No, no, no, no, this is not the tide going out. A hurricane come through there.


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[Assistant] But like, this is like 10 miles now, and people are out there walking around on what used to be ocean liners were going through.


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[Assistant] Well, that's what I said. I said, this, I said, was this in the news or anything? You know, was anything really a big deal? He said, no, I just found it on a stupid computer. You seen Deep Impact? Huh? Wait, that's kind of like the Red Sea being parted.


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[Assistant] 24 hours, I'd have to ask the Bible scholar, uh, Owens.


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[Assistant] It actually stopped, I think, for 24, cause it was 12 o'clock noon, I think.


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[Assistant] That story was easy for us to believe.


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[Assistant] I'm serious, so you take an old shoe, like a loafer, cut the tongue out of it, okay, on top.


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[Assistant] A slingshot? Oh, you made the right choice with the...


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[Assistant] We hunted with it. A $60 an hour rock ain't safe.


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[Assistant] And so, hey, when you hit you, you can, no, no, no, that's, that's a, uh, we call that something else. Yeah, that's a shooter.


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[Assistant] Pete Shooter, whatever you want to call him. The sling shot is actually, we use nylon string.


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[Assistant] Okay. All you could use leather leather strips. That was.


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[Assistant] When you get the, you get the world in, what is, uh, uh,


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[Assistant] Quickly down under, what did they, what's that guy, he was doing something and it was making the noise. A boomerang? Nah, it wasn't a boomerang, he had some kind of, it was a, uh, a way to communicate. Oh, I don't know. Didgeridoo?


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[Assistant] Hey, that thing's deadly. Cause you could put a stick with it. Okay, and then it's like a barrel of gun.


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[Assistant] You know, you could set up bottles of stuff and we busted them all the time.


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[Assistant] Yeah, that's why my brother was missing two front teeth. Which one? How?


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[Assistant] Is Paula was a powerlifter? Oh yeaah. I'm finding out something new about Paula. Hey, you don't want to mess with that woman.


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[Assistant] Clearly. No hey, I would say go for it. My man's got bruises. I mean hey, what are a few bruises?


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[Assistant] Body Slammer, he said, hey. Body Slam?


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[Assistant] That's what she want. She want you to hit her back. It sounds like a lot of fun to me. Fun? Yeah! He's got bruises!


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[Assistant] She might be like Johnny Ringo. She's just a little high strung.


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[Assistant] Hey, look, I'm with Gavin for one reason. Hey, the man is very happy. And he's got a body slammer.


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[Assistant] Oh yeaah. There you go. Hey, drink while it's hot. That's why I'm saying, hey, put Conway Twitty on. Hey, slow hand. And body slam.


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[Assistant] That's why, that's why I was fighting, I was fighting, I was fighting an old football team before I go through with one woman that's mad. Cause she'll kill you, okay, cause they're playful.


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[Assistant] I'm telling you, the boy's question is, hey, get with Conway Twitty and listen to the song. I need the man with a slow hand and an easy touch. Cause there's way more to the song than that.


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[Assistant] Alright, next time she's here, I'ma, I'ma get into the body slamming.


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[Assistant] Thank you in the podcast for the show.


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[Assistant] Well, I mean, I'm sure, I mean, we, we moved to Texas for five years and we just moved back this past year, so we haven't been back long.


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[Assistant] And really I was so looking forward to being back in Louisiana and having like a slower paced life than Austin.


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[Assistant] And it's not slur pace here for me. I thought I'd have all this time in my hands and I don't. What about you, babe?


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[Assistant] I do. I have a quarterly subscription box called Genuine by Jess and uhm, I carry products that, you know, basically that have companies from give back companies.


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[Assistant] Uh, women owned companies and small family, uh, businesses. So I like to just kind of, um, do like little collections and kind of feature other brands, other people's products that have a good mission behind it.


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[Assistant] Well I need that one. I don't want the hot one cause I use a lot of Worcestershire in my beef stew.


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[Assistant] No, it doesn't hurt mine, but I just don't, I don't want to like risk a big pot of beef stew and then, especially with K.


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[Assistant] So, no, look, this is, I basically combined two recipes. I combined Julia Stahl's beef bourguignon and then another beef stew recipe and I kind of just made it my own, but I only used filet mignon in it.


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[Assistant] It's, it's so good. It has several, it has oregano in it. It has several different herbs in it, but I will use almost an entire bottle in my beef stew.


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[Assistant] He loves some filet, doesn't he? That boy can eat.


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[Assistant] This year was the first year he played flag football, which I was not for.


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[Assistant] I know how fast he can be and so all the time he would get it and run for a touchdown and I would be like, Gus, you're not running at full speed. He goes, I don't have to run at full speed.


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[Assistant] It's really, at one point he was playing offense and his coach goes, Gus, Gus sit on the bitch, you're making too many touchdowns on offense, I mean on defense. That's what it was, he was playing defense, he was like, go sit down, you're getting too many touchdowns on defense.


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[Assistant] I'm still hoping that Gus will find a sport that is not as dangerous. Is it football? Yes.


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[Assistant] Martin, if you know Jeff at all, he farts all the time. He has stomach issues, IBM, everything else.


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[Assistant] Like stop on the road while they're on their treasure huntin'. Emergency stop.


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[Assistant] College degrees, able to get jobs, like breaking the cycle for, and their legacy there, I mean, how amazing is that?


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[Assistant] They're not carrying that baggage over. They're able to let it go and move on and be human beings in the world and work and raise a family and it's pretty inspirational.


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[Assistant] And the silver bullet in a, in a, yeah, in an airstream. In an airstream. In Austin, Texas.


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[Assistant] What about tennis? What about basketball? What about something other than full on tackle?


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[Assistant] I was like, can they not make black football a professional sport? They have all this other sports. Really?


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[Assistant] And they snuck me in because it was a closed adoption. And, but I was like, okay, like literally we got the call the day before this baby just fell out of the air, literally. And she, uh, said, you know, she had no prenatal care. She had, she just delivered a baby and here he is. And.


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[Assistant] You're up next basically. If you don't want to, I have a list of families waiting. So I went and I was like, I just need to hold him. I thought there would be this like divine intervention from God. Like I'm going to hold this baby and I'm just going to feel I'm your mom.


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[Assistant] But I went up there and I remember having a friend there and I was, I mean, we're crying, this baby, I'm holding him, I'm feeding him, I'm changing him, and I was like,


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[Assistant] I just, I can't make this decision by myself, you know, and...


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[Assistant] Uhm, and Jeff came in and I said, you've got to come up here, because realistically, I could, you could have handed me any baby in that nursery and I would have loved him like my own. I would, I would love any baby like my own.


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[Assistant] But that's what it, I was like, okay. I was like, well, he hadn't, I was like, what if something happened, goes wrong? What if something comes up later on that he has all this trauma and all this and he goes, we'll deal with it. And I was like, that's all I need to know. I'm not making this decision on my own and you're the man of the house and you're leading our family and he is our son. And we took him home the next day. It was just so.


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[Assistant] Uh, I would say, if you're going back home, I would say Robert Redford for the MBAT era, but Tom Selleck. There's a lot of older men that are just like classic, but there's probably one celebrity crush that Jeff knows about for me. There's a little Superman, Henry Cavill.


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[Assistant] Well, I like it. He just, I like, I always look at actors and their home life and everything. I'm like, oh, like he seems like a good family man, which makes me like him even more. It's not like, oh, I mean, obviously he doesn't look like Henry Cavill, but...


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[Assistant] I'm pulling up my rocket money app right now, logging in. Can I see it? No, you can't see it. It's got all my personal finances right there in one spot, so I can check what my wife's doing, what my kids are doing, what my subscriptions are doing. If I forgot about one, they're going to let me know, hey bro, you're paying for this dumb dummy. You ain't been watching it.


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[Assistant] And you, here, click here and cancel it. It's that easy. They take care of all the stress of having a budget and they, it's right there on your phone.


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[Assistant] I was sitting outside the door just trying to hear. This room is very soundproof. Yeaah.


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[Assistant] I'll have to tune in on Spotify, YouTube, or wherever you can find me.


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[Assistant] I noticed he wasn't in a vest when we just passed. Nah, but he was in all black.


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[Assistant] That felt like the most, I literally walked in and Al said, hey good catching up with you. I said, see ya Al, it's just everyday life in the neighborhood. Yeaah, there you go. See ya Al, we will. That's what happens when you pass.


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[Assistant] No. Anyway, Noah from Kentucky, he's been listening for over a year now. Loves it.


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[Assistant] But he's been listening basically every episode, but he has one question that he has to know the answer to.


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[Assistant] I think six o'clock on Tuesdays and Thursdays. But no, if you had to perform a song during the Super Bowl halftime show, what song would everyone choose?


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[Assistant] 80,000 people going Church of Christ melodies and harmony, that would be legit.


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[Assistant] I think you just won. You should have gone last.


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[Assistant] That last Super Bowl was weird. Uhm, all the Super Bowls are weird. I don't know. I'm not really a singer.


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[Assistant] I'm not either. I mean, I think if I had to, cause I'd be, you know, a bad karaoke-er. I mean.


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[Assistant] Man, he, he went with love one another. Say what you want to. And I was going to go like friends in low places. I feel like that would get the crowd just fired.


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[Assistant] From New Mexico, Las Cruces, New Mexico, which is funny because I know a few people in Las Cruces, New Mexico. Uhm. You know Michelle? I don't know Michelle.


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[Assistant] We do now. But now we do. Michelle, thanks for emailing in.


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[Assistant] So she said, she knows we're used to spicy foods, but she has to know if we've ever had the New Mexican red or green chili. Have y'all ever had that? No.


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[Assistant] Okay, cause that, and the reason I, this is kind of a strange email to bring up, but one time me and Willie were in a place called Farmington, New Mexico. They're like, hey, we're going to take you to eat New Mexico, New Mexican food. And I was like, time out. That's just Mexican food and y'all are from here. So you're labeling it New Mexican food. No, it's very different. Is it? And it is.


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[Assistant] New Mexico's got some things figured out when it comes to new Mexican food. It's not old Mexican food. It's new Mexican food. And it's that chili stuff. And you basically just grab like a tortilla, rip it off, get a piece of pork and dip it in that red or green chili.


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[Assistant] He said you're one of his heroes, Johnny Goblin. And his other question is, how do you know when you've met the right one? He's been with a girl for almost a year and is wondering how he should feel if he's supposed to marry her or not. Let's go body slam her.


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[Assistant] You either know, if you got some reservations, I don't know that they're leaving.


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[Assistant] Don't go by Creek anymore man, go by Jesse, cause that song's awesome.


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[Assistant] And if you're looking for validation, that means yes. If you're looking for a reason to say no, that means no. You know.


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[Assistant] In our Lord Jesus Christ. Everything you do needs to be coming from our Lord Jesus Christ. If you don't know him, get to know him. We want you to know him. We want to meet you in heaven one day. That was the quickest episode I've ever been a part of.


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[Assistant] What, we're nominated for? We got nominated? No, but people we know are. Who? Si? No.


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[Assistant] Well, I think it's for a more serious podcast. I don't know that the podcast in the leisure category necessarily qualify, but your brother.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, we're, we're kinda weird. Uhm, but your brother, who's also kinda weird, and Jace, who's definitely weird, and Al, who's normal, uhm, they were all nominated, unashamed, for the Caleb Fan Awards Podcast of the Year.


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[Assistant] Well, congratulations there. Sadie won it last year. Fan choices.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But it is a fan choice award. So the reason I'm saying this is cause we do want you to vote for Phil, Jason Al, and Unashamed.


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[Assistant] Go to KLoveFanAwards.com, it's going on now, till May 26th, so you got a few days, but just do it now!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'll look while we continue on this podcast.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Then we'll vote for Phil, but KLoveFanAwards.com, vote for Unashamed. And just to be clear, I'm voting for Phil. Yeah, I'm fine with it. I'm voting for Al. Oh, okay.


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[Assistant] Oh man, I feel bad for the people going up against the Chosen.


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[Assistant] Yeah, I'm voting for her. I'm just kidding. I'm voting for Unashamed. Uhm, the Proverbs 31 Ministries podcast made for this with Jenny A- I think my wife listens to that one.


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[Assistant] The Alista Childers podcast. Dream big with Bob Gough and friends.


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[Assistant] And I can eat french fries with the best of them. I once thought about entering a contest. I haven't yet, but I could win. Uhm, and yeaah, I just crushed french fries.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, you know, shoplifting happens in retail. It shouldn't, but it does. And...


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[Assistant] You know, that day was a little annoying anyway. Uhm, it was kind of a weird vibe and then I go to put a rod and reel out and I see just a rod with the zip tie on it and I'm like, where'd the reel go?


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[Assistant] The reel's gone. The reel has left the building. This is 170 bucks. And so then, I'm angry.


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[Assistant] And I have cameras because it's 2023. Um, so I start watching the cameras and this very nice man who asked a lot of questions was apparently stuffing his pockets the whole time he was asking questions. And you see him, he sneaks back to the, he had a friend, whispered in his ear, coast is clear.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He sneaks back to the back, cuts it, pockets it, goes and puts it back. Then he goes to the bathroom, starts rummaging around in our storage part, stole something out of there. Okay. Uh huh. Really? And so now I'm angry.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And what you should do is call the police, but I was too mad to call the police.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I got a picture of him, and he's now hanging on the wall of shame up by the security stuff, uhm, with Exodus 2015, Thou shall not steal, written beside his face.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm. Oh, the post is wanted. Oh yeaah. Carter made a wanted poster of him too. Uhm, anyway, so then I get a picture of him and I'm like, I mean, what do we do?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Explaining to him, I answered all the questions he had asked while he was in the store with his pockets full, and then I let him know he's not invited back unless he returns the reel, and then probably still, I don't want you to know that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, and I thought that'd be it. Well, uh, the city of West Monroe is awesome. Because they don't play that game, is what we found out. And 1200 people shared it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, and here's my other deal, uhm, I don't know why you would steal.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But just, if you're thinking about, like, cause this dude woke up, like, I'm gonna go shoplift a few places today cause they had a plan and it just, yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, you will be found these days. It's really dumb to do anyway, but if the law scares you and it should, um, and the court of public opinion, because


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] 203,000 people have now seen this guy, according to Facebook. 42,000 people have clicked on it. Uhm.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah, and I got 409 new followers out of the deals. Thanks buddy. Uhm, but yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You feel violated when somebody just takes something from you and is talking to you nicely. They're stealing right from under you. But then it felt good to know like, we live in a town where that ain't okay. And 99% of people, it made them mad for us.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know the exact number of people that sent us his name, but it was more than ten.


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[Assistant] Don't worry. Hey, you wanna know the best part? What? I hope that sucker's right handed, cause he stole a left handed reel.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And you know, I don't know what's going to end up happening. It ain't, it's a misdemeanor. I don't know the rules of shoplifting. It sucks. I know in California they don't do crap, but here in Westman, Louisiana, I'm going to let everybody know who you are.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] At least your faith, that way if you go down the street, I mean there's plenty of, I don't care if you're at Academy or Walmart, they should see you and say, oh this guy, it was an operation.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Tonight I'll probably have ground pork and cheddar chili mac. And the app, man. It's so easy. You pick what you want, it shows up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It is good. I already got mine. I got five of them left for this week. Tonight we're eating one for dinner because it's so easy. You know, we'd pop them in the oven. Nine minutes, boom. Already made for you. I've lost weight doing it. It's the most, Factor is the most convenient thing ever. Plus it tastes good.


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[Assistant] Just chain it all up. Nah, not really.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Long track speed skaters can typically hit over 35, but that's Olympian's problem.


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[Assistant] There are every one of them. How fast do skiers go? The fastest downhill? No! 162?


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[Assistant] Now normally they're going about 80 and can travel up to a hondo. Miles per hour? MPH. Whoa.


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[Assistant] For our friends over in Britain, you gotta do some math there. We're not into Columbus. That's the difference between an open and a closed.


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[Assistant] The fastest person ever on skis went 255 kilometers per hour, which would be 158.4.


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[Assistant] I don't really like going in planes, but that's the only time I'm going that fast. You talk about insane.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Before we get to the email inbox, we got the regular inbox, the 117 Kings Lane. We got Sparrows in a Hurricane. And the 71292.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, and then Ethan and Nicole are getting married in August in Virginia Beach. There you go. We're getting invited all over places. I got one more.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How y'all wanna go on it? I got a lot, I don't have a lot of questions, but I got some really cool stories.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We definitely need, uh, Stone's opinion. If it's cool enough, we might get nominated. Nicholas, no, this is not gonna get us nominated. Although, if Jeff Foxworthy's putting out awards, it might get us nominated. Nicholas, he's 22, he's from West Monroe, Louisiana, which makes a lot of sense.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He turned the bathtub upside down and just smoking stuff in the whole safe.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I love it. I love it. And it's close by, so I'm a little curious if he'd rub some W sauce on it and bring it on over. I'd try it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Probably. Uhm, okay, and then, here's, this one's cool, kinda had a rough beginning, uhm, Caitlin emails in, uh, her husband's name is Dallas, he's been a fan of ours for a long time, uh, he met Phil and


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm feeling Jase before he had an accident when he turned 21 with a 12 gauge shotgun.


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[Assistant] He's blind now. Uhm, but that's not really what she wanted to talk about because even though all that happened, this is what she wanted to say about him. He lives every day the fullest and thanks God he's still alive. Uhm, he's killed five deer since that's happened.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, big fan, uh, and he has just a great story in all that, and she wrote, it's a very long email that I can't go through the whole thing, uh, and she said, I know this is a long email, and her husband doesn't know that she's doing this, but,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then here's another story, uhm, not a story, but just kind of a prayer request.


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[Assistant] So, me and Martin have shared our stories about the NICU. Sy's shared his story about the NICU. Uhm, Mackenzie emails in.


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[Assistant] And she said, wow, I get the emotions now. Um, her child's been there for six days, hopefully going home tomorrow. So that's a praise report. We'll be praying for that. Um, but she just wanted to say thanks for kind of putting our stories out there. Cause it is really tough.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But she wanted to say, ask everybody, pray for that staff, pray for people going through that, cause it's something you don't really think about a lot.


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[Assistant] Premature babies now, and it's because of the work that they do. You know, back in the day, those kids might not have made it.


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[Assistant] We'll do it quick, because I think this is an easy answer. Daniel emails in, uhm,


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[Assistant] He's wanting to be the spiritual leader of his house. And they're about to buy a new house.


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[Assistant] Uhm, he feels like they need to move out of state. His wife said 100% I'm staying here close to my parent.


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[Assistant] But he feels like the Lord's telling him that they need to move. So therefore, he's in a conundrum.


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[Assistant] So he needs advice. And quick advice.


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[Assistant] But Daniel, I'll go ahead and go because I've read this before. Uhm, Jesus didn't serve by


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[Assistant] Telling us all what to do a lot wasn't a leader by telling us all what to do all the time. Sometimes he just served people. He got down and washed some feet.


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[Assistant] And your wife might need help from her family and you say you got a good relationship with them. So you might be thinking this, but her being adamant about living close to her parents, Stone does it. I do it.


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[Assistant] And that is how you are a spiritual leader.


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[Assistant] Alright, ready for Bible Rush? Let's go with John 10 10 instead of Exodus 2015, because thieves suck.


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[Assistant] But we got hope. The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy, but I have come that they may have life and have it to the fullest.


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[Assistant] Gollum, you should have done that before we started. Now we're rolling, son. That's right, we're rolling.


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[Assistant] We're having a trouble identifying all the good stuff, ain't it?


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[Assistant] Well, hi, if I pick it out and you don't like it, I just yell, no, don't bother me.


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[Assistant] Okay, don't ever critique it and say, well, babe, that was a little, didn't have enough salt, didn't have enough this, didn't have, it wasn't right. Well, you're gonna eat bad food all your life.


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[Assistant] So the Robertsons are very good about critiquing what they eat. Get in there and cook it yourself. No, that's not an option.


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[Assistant] That's not an option. With some marriages, that's an option. And look, whatever works for you is fine with me.


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[Assistant] I'm one of them, one of them. That's right, I gotta change my t-shirt.


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[Assistant] He's still, he's done cleaning that pile up.


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[Assistant] From January 1, uh, 2022 to January 1, 2023, I traveled over 5 million miles. You know where most of it is spent?


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[Assistant] I didn't know we were going that fast. I understand that, but hey, they can't show me that. Our scientists?


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[Assistant] They can't show me the axis that starts to rotate though. Cause we fly around this stupid thing all the time. Well cut it in half.


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[Assistant] No, it's Santa Claus' house. No, no, Santa Claus don't keep nothing upright.


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[Assistant] I would come back. Oh, no, no, this was zip, zip, zip, zip, zip, zip. It moves in nanoseconds and we're watching it going. It was wow. And then.


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[Assistant] Twenty years later, we go on a duck hunting trip. In New Mexico.


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[Assistant] We're throwing up decoys, and in a 45 minute period,


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[Assistant] We've seen 17 different falling stars, shooting stars, our planet's burning up. I was there, I can incur. That was one of them. Y'all got to make a lot of wishes. No, no, no, no, no. It was a party.


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[Assistant] Pretty one word. I mean, the big ball of fire that come across.


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[Assistant] Is a giant planet that is falling out of the sky, burning up. It's on fire. And then we ask the question, wonder where it's going to hit?


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[Assistant] I wonder what the actual runway, I mean, it's a big ship. But I wonder what the distance is on the...


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[Assistant] Yeah, yeah, it's more than like you're doing this, it's just...


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[Assistant] No, no, I had, I had two opportunities, okay. Oh, and you didn't do it? No, no, no. We never could work it out. I had two opportunities that I was gonna get to fly with the Blue Angels. Wow.


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[Assistant] Well, no, no, cause that's what to tell me, you know. Cause you go pull, you go pull,


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[Assistant] Well, when they do it, when I jump out of the plane, you get to go on a rock 120 when you're free falling.


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[Assistant] 120 miles an hour. Like this, with your arms out.


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[Assistant] The bubble, the bubble over your head when they close the cockpit. They call it the most.


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[Assistant] I will do it for one reason. Why? I fix the burn up, I'll get out of whatever is burning up. What if you don't have a parachute? I don't care. I'm jumping anyway.


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[Assistant] Before I burn up, I will crash land and better burn. Crash land and I ain't die. But I ain't gonna burn.


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[Assistant] That's why my goal is to go to heaven, because I don't want to go to hell. It's hot down there.


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[Assistant] Hey, I'm serious, Peter, come look. Hey, you learn a lot about squirrels from Mark Rober. No, no, no, cause he's, he's relation.


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[Assistant] No, no, he did a study and he would make all kinds of things.


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[Assistant] The squirrels do some amazing things.


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[Assistant] Ah, great. No, I would say he's got two arms and two legs.


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[Assistant] I say a deer's got four legs, a squirrel's got, you know, two arms and two legs.


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[Assistant] I like when they, I like when they, I like when you're hunting them and they run out of limb. They run out of limb, getting away from you, shooting at them.


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[Assistant] That's just much room between the next tray and a limb.


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[Assistant] They turned to look, saying the cop car, well they started just shooting at the car. That's crazy. Well hey, he was just laying down and stuck his pistol on ya.


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[Assistant] He sat his own windshield out. And they asked him, so what are you doing? And he said, hey, I just wanted to stop shooting.


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[Assistant] He had, he would make it, okay, and look, they would figure it out.


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[Assistant] You gotta run the obstacle course.


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[Assistant] They would figure it out within three tries. Any of them named Si?


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[Assistant] Okay, they actually done research on wild cats, like the lion.


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[Assistant] But that's our scientists. Scientists are saying, okay, let's see what, let's see what their thought process is.


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[Assistant] Or you can switch the sour cream and put mustard.


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[Assistant] Well, all I would say was live within your means.


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[Assistant] I would say though, uh, we've already, I've already bought his casket.


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[Assistant] Just like that. Total. Unbelievable. Yes. Unbelievable.


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[Assistant] Because he's not really that strong personality.


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[Assistant] And he will, he will not agree to it, you know, even if it's a word, you know, the meaning of a word. I can show him in the dictionary. He still will not agree that he's wrong.


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[Assistant] I think we left the impression before that


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[Assistant] Everything was good. You know, I'm funny and happy. We had some problems mainly because of me.


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[Assistant] That I didn't talk a lot and something was bothering me. Well.


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[Assistant] So I would pick, pick, pick. I mean, just until I lost my temper, which was his goal, because then I would cough out, you know, what was wrong. But we've had some really hostile quarrels before.


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[Assistant] No, when I'm in the hospital, uh, he will come to the door, you know, and say, Hey babe, how are you? And then he leaves.


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[Assistant] But he's always been that way, so it's not like it's something different.


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[Assistant] When Tracy was born, he was there, but then an IG was going on, so I only saw him when she was born. And then when I called three days later and said, you've got to sign some paperwork. So he came just for that and then went back and he didn't even come to pick me up from the hospital.


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[Assistant] Only because he was in an inspection. So this is something I'm used to and so I have adapted because at first it upset me. But then the more that I got to know him,


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[Assistant] That this is something he just cannot do.


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[Assistant] Well, he tried college, uhm. Oh, Stammering Dance. Yeaah.


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[Assistant] And it was about seven or eight times. After he got out of the military the first time, he was going to Louisiana Tech. Okay. That lasted about six weeks. There you go.


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[Assistant] They snuck in and they put a camera where he'd be sitting and then Jason poked him.


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[Assistant] And then afterwards when they showed him on film, he said, oh, I didn't know that was me.


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[Assistant] Are one of the guys on our bowling team.


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[Assistant] Showed up at our apartment.


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[Assistant] And so he's talking and he's talking then he just puts into it. Wanted to know if I'd be interested in.


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[Assistant] Swapping, I said, in what? I still think, you know, that I'm a little naive at that time.


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[Assistant] His wife was beyond beautiful. No, no, no, no, no.


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[Assistant] Yes, but always, you know, you get to see when karma.


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[Assistant] Oh no. In the Colonel's car. In the- from the Colonel's car.


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[Assistant] Oh, that would be a toss up between the spaghetti sauce or the hamburger. Okay.


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[Assistant] Lots of spices. Lots of spices. He just decides, he smells it and sees, oh yeaah, I'll put that in.


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[Assistant] Yeah, uh, I would say the only thing I like about Louisiana is size here.


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[Assistant] And what I miss about, uh, Massachusetts is the Four Seasons, and the fact that they have dirt, not sand, and there's not water everywhere. I like that too.


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[Assistant] Yeah, Massachusetts though, has winter.


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[Assistant] Uh, I think I would have to go with his determination.


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[Assistant] And he just, I mean, when he went back in the second time, he was stationed at Fort Knox.


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[Assistant] I was staying with my parents until he got a place to live.


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[Assistant] But before I even get there, he's already set up an appointment with the infertility clinic at the hospital. So this shows you know that I was on his mind and an important part of it was getting help from me. So that was just, you know, awesome.


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[Assistant] I think it's important is, you've got to be a strong person.


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[Assistant] To be married to somebody in the military. And it's even worse now than it was back because now they go to all these dangerous places.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The wives have to take care of stuff at home, or the spouse being a man. So, you know, military husband.


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[Assistant] And you can't have your life to go around him 100%. You've got to have a life of your own that can mingle in.


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[Assistant] When he was gone, I would be dealing with the kids and with my job and so.


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[Assistant] And I've had to do moves by myself.


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[Assistant] And that was just part of the game, you know, that this is what he does. This is what I have to do so he can do what he does.


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[Assistant] Uh, if you don't have your friends in the military, you're going to be hurting.


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[Assistant] He had the belief that he was not around with the children.


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[Assistant] That he was never there for them. So I just get pictures out and I show him.


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[Assistant] And he doesn't remember the fact that he was with them that much.


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[Assistant] I gotta be honest with you guys, I woke up today, ready to take on the world and I felt good, but you know what? I still went in there, got my one scoop of athletic greens, boom, wham, down that stuff and I was ready to roll. I feel very, I'm, I'm, I'm ready to go. What do you want to do?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They did me wonders this morning. Got me all riled up, ready to go feeling great. And look, here's what Sy is talking about. Whenever you take one scoop of athletic greens in the morning, just one scoop, you're absorbing 75 high quality vitamins, minerals, whole foods or superfoods.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Probiotics and adaptogens to help you start your day right. I can't guarantee you, Goblin, that it'll help you catch more fish, but it can't hurt.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause I'm, I'm, I'm ready to go. My immune system's rolling. I feel good. I got a lot of energy. How'd you find out about it? So the ultimate warrior, Captain America Christian told Stone and Stone told me, and now me, I take it. My wife takes it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Everybody's taking it. You feel great. It's a great thing. So here's the deal.


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[Assistant] It's one scoop in the morning. It costs less than a cup of coffee. So it's probably the best thing you can do in the morning because I know all you out there drinking different stuff every morning and this is cost less than that. It's a great deal. Also, you're probably on a diet, whatever diet you're on. This one's good for it. Keto, paleo, vegan, dairy free, gluten free.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Athletic Greens works with it. It contains less than one gram of sugar. No GMOs, no nasty chemicals or artificial anything. Anything.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It supports better sleep and recovery. I slept so good last night, woke up, ready to roll, and supports mental clarity.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And alertness, that's why I'm ready for anything. So right now it's time to reclaim your health and arm your immune system with convenient daily nutrition, especially in flu and cold season. It's just one scoop in a cup of water every day. That's it. No need for a million different pills and supplements.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] To take ownership over your health and pick up the ultimate daily nutritional insurance.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The professionals. The professionals. There you go. Okay. With Lee Marvin and uh, who else? Robert Ryan and Burt Lancaster.


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[Assistant] I said because I can't recognize any piece of this chicken.


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[Assistant] They all started laughing and telling me, well, the truth is, it's rabbit.


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[Assistant] Oh yeaah, he was, uh, he was a submarine man. Okay. Down periscope. Yeaah, yeaah, down periscope. And I said, nah, no thank you.


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[Assistant] What you didn't know about me was is I liked to win in the Navy. My father was in the Navy.


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[Assistant] Okay, I like to win in the Navy too. And yes, alcohol was involved.


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[Assistant] So hey, like I said, nah, I like to swim.


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[Assistant] Okay, and he was the, uh, radar. He was, you know, communication specialist.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And he's got a picture of him on top of the, whatever it is on the, on the destroyer and rough seas. And when I say rough seas, that's an understatement. He's on top of it. Okay. And the ship is in a whale.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And he is just, the ship is going and he's running his hands on the waves as that ship rolls.


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[Assistant] Okay, from side to side to side, this thing is like this in a swale.


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[Assistant] That's where that came from? Yeah, that's where it came from. You were deep pondering. No, no, Al done a lesson and every time Al does a lesson, he triggers something in my brain cells and then the rest of the night I'm wrestling, you know, not going to sleep.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I was out of town, I went to Miami. He's turning in online. With my, uh, flowersgeneral.com, you know, Goodwill. Goodwill ambassador. He was out there peddling.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I used to have a Tupperware glass and the only thing you would hear when there was formation time, Robinson, put that stupid glass up. And I'd say, Tom, I'm going to get it when there's time. And I'd stick it in my fatigue pocket. And hey, full of ice and tea.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And never stood to drop. And hey, when the formation was over with, hey, time for T-Bone. How long at it?


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[Assistant] That was a problem at 115 degrees, okay?


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[Assistant] Hold on. Look, if I'd have just had a cup then I'd have been in good shape.


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[Assistant] Oh no no, my mom asked me, are they feeding you? I sent her a picture of me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The dark plot. Okay. And skinny as a rail mama said, are they feeding you over there? And I said, yeah, my mommy now that I'm working hard to go about 12, 12, 18 hours a day, you know, Hey, you lose weight, especially in the heat over here.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh boy. You'd think I'd wait and look at you. No, I'm sound asleep. While driving a deuce and a half. I'm in La La Land.


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[Assistant] You know, this is from, from infancy to, you know.


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[Assistant] And I finally just broke. Were people taking sides? Oh no, hey, this is the only time that Phil Robertson has ever said, hey, get your butt over here, we're fixing to have a serious meeting.


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[Assistant] A hundred. That, that, they've heard me throwing decoys for fifteen minutes.


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[Assistant] And Jason didn't kill but one, and I told him, I said, Hey, why don't you kill the 60?


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[Assistant] That was 20, 60 yards instead of killing the one drake compared to 150.


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[Assistant] Yeah, but he should have killed three for three. Okay.


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[Assistant] Right, the first thing assessment, uh, blame has got to be assessed.


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[Assistant] So, when they won, no ducks killed. Okay, eh, Marlin.


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[Assistant] Someone has got to take the blame against who they jumped on. Me.


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[Assistant] What? No, the only thing I learned by the height is yo, the dresses. What?


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[Assistant] Sigh on the segway. Oh, I flipped and busted my butt off that time.


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[Assistant] I thought I had it and then nah, I just thought that's bad. I thought that's the problem.


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[Assistant] Bicycle was bad enough, then they took it a bicycle.


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[Assistant] I would just fix that. I was in the circus once. I was a clown.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My whole life I've been riding horses, okay. My heroes were western people.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, no, no, but he asked me, Al asked me a question about the movie that JD was talking about, that, you know, Phil's in coming. And I said, well, hey, how would you like to air your dirty laundry to the world in a movie?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Everything that you've ever did, it was stupid and wrong and, you know, ignorant. How about just, okay, let's show the whole world, you know, my dirty laundry.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Documentary maybe. Well, they had about four hours, but then they cut it down to, you know, and they had a rough time doing it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, but I mean I'm sure it's just how would you like for everything you've done that was wrong and stupid?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How would you like it? Okay, let me show you my life.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's the bottom, that's the answer to that. The last stupid thing I'll do is right before I die.


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[Assistant] Guess what just thought entered my head right there. There is no possible way we could guess. Hey, I might, I might turn into a nebular. Okay. A nebular? Yeah. And just become a gas cloud.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I wish I still had my bongo bales that my wife got rid of.


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[Assistant] I know. Hi, I'm serious. I would actually lock them up after every afternoon. I used them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And look, I had just, I woke up that night, you know, and I said, I, I, mama used to put, uh, a can of, uh, sweetened condensed milk.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Anyway, I just had a dream. I said, mama put somebody, so I made two batches, one without it, one with it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I asked, I said, Stone Arch, show them a dress to see if it's any good. He said, well, this ain't bad. He said, but you put too much onions, bell pepper and all that in it. And I said, well, I said, fields are always light, so aye, I made mine a little heavy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And he said in this other one, he said, you put too much sugar or something, it's too sweet. And I said, well, okay, that didn't work.


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[Assistant] I like it boys. He gonna roll with Florida Panther.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In the coat, especially around his face.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, no, no, look, I said, I think one of the coolest things is a bobcat.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hit a guy, he's sitting against a tree doing it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And the next thing, hey, the camera and the man are rolling and look, this thing tore the guy's head up with his teeth and his cloth.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That was turkey hunting and I won a bobcat, heard him and come and just nailed him, son.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] As you know, for the 200th episode, we had a big giveaway.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do what? You had to like, like, subscribe, do some other stuff. But we got winners.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Winner number one is Justin Martin. That is not true. You didn't win anything. No, we got Shamiah Young, Ryan Bailey, and Ron Bailey.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Ryan Bailey. Ethan Brown and Deanna Hargrave, all winners. And none of them are my friends, so you know we didn't cheat.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think that should be a thing though, taxidermy in your vehicle.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Look, so it's a new year, so it's a great time to make some changes in your life. Get on this train. We're talking about athletic greens. Christian Huff, the old Captain America got stone on him. Stone got me on him.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, he's a great guy and he's knowledgeable about, you know, supplements and stuff and all that. And he said, hey, you need to try this athletic green stuff because look, you don't need all the different pills and all the other things. When you take this, just one scoop.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're absorbing 75 high quality vitamins, minerals, whole foods or superfoods, probiotics and adaptogens. Did that surprise you? How much? 75. I like it. All of them. Yeah. And whenever you take this special blend of ingredients, it supports your gut health, your nervous system, your immune system, your energy recovery, focus, aging, all the things.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's super easy. One scoop in the morning, swig that down and you're done. No need for all the other stuff. And it's not that expensive. It's actually cheap because whenever you compare it to a cup of coffee, you're coming out ahead and


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Instead of just getting a little caffeine boost, you're getting all the things you need in your body.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That, you know, a bunch of doctors and stuff figured out. I'm not a doctor. All I know is I feel better when I'm taking the athletic greens.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] All you have to do is visit athleticgreens.com slash duck. Again, that's athleticgreens.com slash duck to take ownership over your health and pick up the ultimate daily nutritional insurance.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They still don't know who put Dawn in that fountain in front of Jason Missy's house like ten years ago. Me neither.


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[Assistant] The fan only sent me a picture of you in a fire hat.


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[Assistant] That ain't... Why'd you send me that picture?


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[Assistant] When you argue, that's when you get. That's right.


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[Assistant] He said it's easier, better, and faster way to catch fish.


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[Assistant] Alright, well, he's the second of two kids. Just him. So he's the baby. Yep. And his older sister.


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[Assistant] Girls are weird, including your sister. That's it. That's the answer. That's the only answer. My sister was four years older than me, so she was eighteen when I was fourteen. I promise you, she thought I was weird. And guess what? Probably was, and you might be too. But, you're not gonna be...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You can be good brothers and sisters and stuff. Y'all need to like, I hope you're not fighting and stuff. But if all you want to do is be closer to her, you need to get two years older.


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[Assistant] It's time. Time heals all things. Because there's, right now man, it's nothing you're doing wrong, nothing she's doing wrong. Y'all are in very different spots of life. Even though two years doesn't seem like a lot, she's probably in high school, you're probably like eighth or ninth grade, so it's just, it's weird.


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[Assistant] Oh man, I messed up. Look, he actually catches big fish. Look at that. That's a big ol' trout. That's a good one there. That's a good one. Oh yeaah.


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[Assistant] But yeaah, I just, like, I had a sister. There were times in life where we were super close. When we were little, high school and middle school. We were close. She drove me to school every day. Hated your gut. There was times when Jenna was like, you're a loser little brother. And you know what? Being a loser little brother is fine. I was one, you're one.


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[Assistant] Noah's a big fan of the podcast. Thanks Noah. And Duck Dynasty. Woop woop.


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[Assistant] He needs some advice on how to be a light to the nonbelievers at his high school.


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[Assistant] I try to share the gospel with them, however I get constantly interrupted and called a liar. How do I respond?


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[Assistant] Hopefully you're not. If you're going too strong at them, you are gonna turn them off.


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[Assistant] Romans 1 16, for I'm not ashamed of the gospel of Christ, for it is the power of God unto salvation to everyone that believes, to the Jew first and also to the Greek. My man, don't be ashamed of it.


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[Assistant] There you go. No matter what they say about you, you keep walking it. Preaching a bonus is what Paul said. And you've preached it. Now you got to live it. Move it on. Move on to the next guy. And one of those people that didn't like it, we'll see it.


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[Assistant] Have a very special edition here. We've got Allison.


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[Assistant] That's all good. But I was actually kind of bummed I wasn't going to be in here. So I was going to come moderate and just sit in and watch, but then Christine had a conflict in schedule. So here I am.


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[Assistant] So uhm, it is, we're here to celebrate Valentine's Day, love, marriage. There's a lot of years of all of that represented in this room. So uhm, Allison, welcome.


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[Assistant] Hey, I can dig it. Look, I think you're gonna wanna come back after this.


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[Assistant] Yeah, Brittany was the same way. She followed it, followed it, and then she's like, alright, whatever. And then she's like, that was actually a lot of fun.


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[Assistant] Why not? We need a bigger room. You bring bands.


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[Assistant] Well, I mean, I think the easiest one, uh, the, you know, I love when people really get involved and they ask questions like, is being married to John David as amazing as it seems that it would be? That was asked by JDO in seven, by the way.


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[Assistant] A common question, obviously, how did everybody meet? So would y'all like, who wants to go first?


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[Assistant] At least y'all was having while you were dating. Some people have been further on down the line and it's, it's a lot harder to recover from. So that's okay. So race.


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[Assistant] You got a way of picking them, don't we? Right. What is it about a quiet guy getting with a loud woman? Why does that always happen? Johnny D kind of loud, Allison pretty quiet.


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[Assistant] Until that paycheck started rolling in. You used to turn the camera to him and it...


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[Assistant] What does one pet peeve you have about your partner go?


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[Assistant] What's that? The hamper? The socks. We've discussed this before. Uh oh.


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[Assistant] Yeah. You leave it, you leave an empty cup somewhere. She trained Brittany in that one.


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[Assistant] But I'd rather be that way than the other way. Yeaah, than sit there and get mowed on it. I'm with you.


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[Assistant] Go ahead, Paola. What drives you crazy about Mr.? Nothin'.


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[Assistant] Now Allison, look, I've heard a lot about how much you wear in them slippers.


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[Assistant] Brittany's ain't even got the tags on them anymore. She done wore the tags smooth off the inside of them. That's what, she got those, what, about three months pregnant and here we are four months after they've been born and it's every day. So.


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[Assistant] There's durable, stand up frequent Washington, no matter what all of our kids, the thundering herd of pets you have, throw at them, doesn't matter.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're gonna stand up for it. So order now because they have a very limited supply. There's a 10 year warranty and 60 day money back guarantee.


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[Assistant] But I know you'll love them. You've got to check out all the great specials from MyPillow. Go to MyPillow.com and use promo code and get up to 66% off and get the MyPillow Giza Sheets for as low as $29.99. Again, just go to MyPillow.com and use promo code.


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[Assistant] This one, I like this one, cause this is a, this one is more fun than it is, uh.


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[Assistant] I had luck, it's no big deal.


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[Assistant] Favorite Valentine's meal. We all like to eat. Meal? Yeah.


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[Assistant] Oh, like a newlywed game. I'm gonna turn the card around. I like it. What's Alison want to eat for Valentine's night? That's tough.


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[Assistant] What does she want for valentine? Like, this is like your last meal, I mean like, what is it? Big old chocolate hard, I don't know what she wants.


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[Assistant] It's easy. She likes filet. She ain't about that ribeye life, but whatever. That's fine. It is what it is.


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[Assistant] Favorite Valentine's gift you ever got? I don't mind.


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[Assistant] This one says for the ladies, what are your real thoughts on beards?


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[Assistant] That's a funny one. Read it. Oh, our man Isaac wants to know, do y'all fart in front of each other?


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[Assistant] He does. Haha! You got your kids on that pull my finger yet?


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[Assistant] Well, Johnny D, I'm going to have to let you take over because unlike Stone on that time when he left DK somewhere, I can't leave Brittany somewhere. So, uh, in the interest of my marriage, I'm out. This is a love episode. You got to know where your limits are. And my phone just rang. So, uh.


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[Assistant] Books. Really? That was like the kids spring break? The first week of March?


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[Assistant] Man, Spring Break, the last week of February, first week of March, just, it seems wrong.


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[Assistant] Yeah, it was a lot of fun. You gotta start traveling with Hunter. Take him with you everywhere you go.


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[Assistant] Well, you've seen it firsthand. Did we go? Could it have been done from there?


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[Assistant] Right. Well, he was found guilty, but. Two life sentences. Back to back.


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[Assistant] Yeaah, but he was also in there. He just wasn't Lieutenant Dan.


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[Assistant] He was, I don't remember what his name was. I mean, Gary Sinise was, and Tom Hanks couldn't be in a movie without each other for a while.


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[Assistant] They were like Will Ferrell and, and, and uh, John C. Reilly or whatever. They were just doing movies. Yeah, they were.


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[Assistant] They took that, they took the Adam Sandler model, like have the same five people in every movie and see what happens, you know? Works good for like seven of them.


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[Assistant] Really? Did they have like space names to everything? Kinda.


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[Assistant] What the heck man, that was part of the awww. I don't know what we're talking about right now. I have to breakfast with those champions. This, this bothers me. I'm going to go back to watching fish and y'all talk amongst yourselves.


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[Assistant] I just like that size made it a long O.


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[Assistant] We're about to have to go first break. Since you're into debunking things, I just got a question. Who shot JFK?


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[Assistant] Build a credit score. If you ain't even got one, our friends at Kickoff can do it and it's super cheap, super easy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It just, it is what it is. And it, unfortunately in today's world, you've got to have it. If you, if you want to borrow money, you got to have it. And if you don't want to pay a fortune in interest, it needs to be pretty good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hey, you don't need Johnny D's mom. Kickoff is the easiest way to build credit fast. If you have no credit or just want to boost your score, Kickoff is the number one credit building app that has helped over a million people take control of their credit. And you can start building credit in less than five minutes. It is that simple. There's no credit check, no hidden fees, no interest.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like I said, you can do it just $5 a month. They report to all the major credit bureaus. Your score goes up, your money goes up, interest goes down.