[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was playing Doom, like you do, 2016 Doom, and Doom Slayer is male, but that doesn't mean anything. And he's not even really male, he's not even really human, but he's got a male form, so whatever. That's kind of just the default for stuff, which some, you know, people would say is sad, or some people would hate.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, Doom Slayer doesn't say anything in the entire game. It's a guy in armor punching stuff. Ripping demons' heads off, which is awesome.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I guess this dates back to the sort of slave Leia discussion. Like is that empowering or not? Even though she choked his ass out while wearing a sweet bikini.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, in line of things that we say out loud to hopefully get laid more often, uh, I have an ad for you guys, uh, and this is an action you can take, because as we all know, actions are more powerful than words, so you can whiten out on the internet all day, but what really gets you laid?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And you can do that without leaving the comfort of your, uh, your little internet chair. So you can leave a white knight comment and then buy flowers. You can do both. Uh, 1-800-FLOWERS has you covered for, uh, all of your... Let's say...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Back to buy 1,800 flowers, 100% smile guarantee. Which is a phrase I just like to say.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, why wait to order? Uh, you can do it right now, make sure you get your flowers in, and then you don't have to worry about it. Get in ahead of time. Exactly. Just lock that, lock it down. Uhm, let me tell you, even-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, man or woman, everyone loves to be surprised by flowers at their workplace, or school. Uhm, and plus, I'm not gonna lie, you're a smug as shit. If you get something, and everybody's like, oh, you got flowers, you're like, fuck yeah, I got flowers, fuck you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It makes every other person around you very jealous. Exactly, and women love to make people jealous, so...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But it was, it was very difficult because, uh, flowers make a cone that catches air. So, there was really no way for me to hold it and also go down the street. I was like throwing over my handlebars and it was like flapping in the wind.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh man, okay, so we decided that not only are we the most progressively minded people on the planet, but we also solved media's exclusion for the world's people. Haha, thank you. Thanks to us. On the subject of, I guess, getting outside the norm, bit of a rocky segue, but follow me through.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, and he, it's interesting because the way the article is written, it's pretty obvious how it went down. Like they would ask him a question and he would say a lot of profound things that were translated one sentence at a time. So the entire article is just disconnected sentences that each are like a poem unto themselves, so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If we just make a game, people are less likely to choose that as something to do. They would rather engage in something that combines different forms of entertainment together. That's where we need to focus our efforts on this convergence.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you put on your Hideo cap, yea, I mean, certainly based on his resume, combining movie or cinematic tropes with gaming is his hallmark for sure.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I hope not. At least I'm really glad you said that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I, uh, I remember when Metal Gear Solid 4 came out, I played through it in like two or three days. That game is batshit crazy, and I like it for that, but also I recall like a month after I beat it, I tried to think back to it, to remember what it was about, and it was actually extremely difficult. I remembered the first act when you're in-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] To put it in its most basic sense, more like verbs in a game of actions you can do or scenarios that you undergo.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You get a less cohesive feeling and experience from it. Uhm.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I guess it's kind of like the Bollywood thing, which works for film, or at least it works for Bollywood.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I guess that's part of it, yeah. But when it comes to Death Stranding, the games that tend to have the strongest appeal,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Also tend to be the, like, have a really simple core experience that most people can immediately understand. It's like a simple action of like, Tetris, like, clean the blocks, got it. Mario, run to the end, got it. Minecraft, you know, build stuff, okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, and then the set of actions you can take in the game are fairly limited but end up exploding out into a very...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wide array of game states. But yea, when it comes to something like Metal Gear Solid 4, where you're running around in the Middle East, okay, now you're in the jungle, now you're fighting a camo girl, now you're a detective walking around in Rain Slick London, now you're doing a weird rail shooting thing in a motorcycle, now you're in a bell tower, now you're in a Shadow Moses again, now you're fighting a robot, now you're-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Now you're a- you're a robot, yea. And now you're a ripped old man punching another ripped old man, which is fucking sweet. And now you're crawling through a microwave hallway, like it's just all over the place.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, it's, it was a, uh, Gameboy game, Gameboy Color, I think, but it had a, it had a sun sensor in the cartridge. Oh, cool. And it was a bit, like you had a gun in the game that was like a solar gun, and it would recharge faster if you were outside. So, yeah, I certainly think Kojima has that sort of mind space where he can think outside of the...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hey, speaking of Gamergate, uhm, so there's another part of the interview, uh, the SJW's one, guys, I'm sorry. Uh oh. So Kojima also said,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Quote, what I really want to avoid is, you see in some games characters with big breasts with no backstory. If I make characters like that at first glance, if I make characters that at first glance might look like this, then they'll have a deep background story to give specific reasons why. Quiet, breathe through her skin. Basically, yea. But that doesn't explain her bust size.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's... So I'm, I'm no expert, even though I am totally an expert. Yep. Uhm, but... Yeah, late once. When you, yeah, one time, when I got those flowers, uh... Man, I felt, I felt comfortable to speak about women's representation in other cultures. Uh... You...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, you- you can't introduce any new, like, property without having a mascot. And that mascot's usually a cute girl that people wanna cosplay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, like a Harley Quinn, basically. Especially when it comes to Japanese properties, you need that. It's necessary, uh, because...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, having, having models dress up and like sit at your booth as a character, that's just the whole thing. And, it's kind of like, uh, Cindy in Final Fantasy XV. None of the rest of the game is like that, but she's there because you need a character like that to market the game. It's just how- Have you seen that character, Bruce? No? It's just expected. Yeah, oh hold on a minute. Oh yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] She's basically Tina from Dead or Alive. Cindy? There's nothing, there's nothing about her character that's like, sexualized. Except everything. Except her visual design. Like she doesn't flirt with you. She's not like, promiscuous at all. Where is she from? Final Fantasy 15.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It plays into the marketing, uh, Kojima said as much about Quiet in Metal Gear Solid 5, he's basically like, We have to have a char- A one character like this so people will cosplay, so people will buy the figures.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] She's the other- She's the dragoon, but she like, she's badass, and doesn't take anyone's shit, and wears awesome armor, and fuckin' rules, and so yeah. I- Hmm. It's just- Not as many picks. Yeah. Yeah, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Not as many, yeaah, it was also a bit into the game. But yeaah, not many people, I mean, she's not, she is cosplay fodder, but not remotely in the same way. You can't buy her costume. Right. Uh, on, on Amazon. So it's, uh... Cool. So there is that aspect to it, which...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, even, even accepting that, I think one could make the point of like, well it's shitty that women are still just used as billboards. But, regardless, uh, I think that Kojima is now out of that, out of that thrash. Like, he doesn't have to obey those marketing rules anymore, because he doesn't work for a Japanese publisher.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, if I- I don't know which one is which. Uh, Bright. Okay. Okay. So yea, I think, I think if, if- Are you saying Japanese isn't- or I'm sorry, Sony's not a Japanese publisher?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, the bear killed me, I'm sorry everybody.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, but, so, sorry, real quick. I'll just knock this one out. Yep.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Speaking of bears, or berries, I don't know. Nice, you tried, but. So we got another, oh my god, gotta move this guy over.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We got another, we got another delicious and low effort alternative for your Valentine's Day needs. Cherries Berries will ship chocolate covered berries in a variety, it's like a cool little variety platter.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, so yea, you can choose berries dipped in white, milk, dark chocolate, uh, topped with chocolate chips, decorative swizzles, chopped nuts. They are delicious and beautiful. Uh, you can get a, like the, uh, the original pack for $19.99, or you can double the order for just $10 more.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, to get that, just go to berries.com, B-E-R-R-I-E-S dot com, and use our code dudesoup. Now, that is a little complicated. When you go to the website, there's a little microphone in the upper right. It's like a little orange microphone. So click on that, type in dudesoup, and that should unlock our special order.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, and yeaah, you can knock that out right now, get- order up your berries, and have that all ready to go, cause you can just schedule delivery, it'll show up on the right day, and you won't have to worry about it anymore. You can get back to, uh, get back to yelling at people on the internet about- about Quiet's boobs and how necessary they are for the plot.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So thank you, Sherry's Berries. Once more, that's berries.com. B-E-R-R-I-E-S dot com. Click on that microphone and use our code DUDE SPACE SUP. You will unlock your $20 berry offer. Thank you, Sherry's Berries.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Who are so easily confused with flowers and berries. Makes it easy for us.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, so I guess I'll conclude with one final quote from the interview, which, there's something Japanese developers do, and I guess Japanese people in general, but they have this tendency to be extremely poetic when describing their work.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So Kojima concluding his interview, I guess he was asked about retirement. He said, my favorite thing to do is make things. Even on my deathbed, I will still be making something because that's what life is for me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh yea, I should have mentioned at the top, this is thoroughly pre-recorded.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's weird because, Adam, I totally agree with that. Hideo Kojima is one of those people, I think, like Miyamoto or Satoru Wada, like, there are a number of creators that have had a profound impact on my life.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, and while I will- I will defend to the death that Metal Gear Solid is a really corny and weird game, uh, it's still amazing, and I- like it's- I still have very, uh, vivid memories of playing it. Uhm, and his other work too, I- I really enjoy it. Like, Zone of the Enders is awesome, Bokka was great. Yeah. So, uh, yeah, it's- it's frustrating because,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Elise, what would you do if you expressed your true, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] True gratitude to Weird Al. And then you got the distinct impression he was like hitting on you and trying to invite you back to this hotel.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh man, Betty Page would have been something else. I feel like, man, I feel like you would- Ow! You'd be a different person after that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] She was into like hardcore S&M shit in the 50s and like sold media on it and made a company around it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] One thing that I'm eternally grateful for, speaking of being an old woman, is that my taste in women has grown as I've grown. Uhm, I remember being a teen and looking at-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes, that's exactly what I mean. I remember being a teen and looking up teen porn online and thinking, this is not gonna be okay forever. I can't look at this when I'm like 30.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, you can't. You can't do that. You're not supposed to do that. No, I mean they were, they were teen, it was legal stuff, but it was like a 20 year old wearing a, or like a 30 year old wearing a cheerleader outfit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But, I remember thinking like, there's only a window where this is not super creepy. And boy do I hope I age out of this before I hit that window. Luckily I did. Now I'm all about old chicks, man.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah. Ladies with experience know what to do. They just hold you down. They're like, shut up. Just shut up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh yea, so I think, uh, next week will actually be the Valentine's Day episode. I gots it. I say I have plans, it's mostly just gonna be me trying to embarrass everybody.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's what happens. Yeah, well it's talking about it normalizes it. So if we never talk about loose vag, no one's- people are gonna be freaked out when they finally bang a 60 year old woman and she got a stretched out vag.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You gotta, here's my trick. Here's how I get bigger as I go. Your trick, you're not a woman. No, I'm saying to stretch out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, and in a absolutely relatable subject, uh, Switch is selling well. Wait, how is that? That was left field.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, so, okay. It's, we've got a few weird glancing off indicators. I guess this is the chorus nerd shit section. Lily, we got like five minutes left.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, so, oh, one in the middle there again. Oh, there we go.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, cause she was running shit and he was an asshole. He was Cuban and sweet. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He had nice hair, but that was about it. He sounded like an idiot. Anyway, no one knows what we're talking about.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Ah, there isn't more. I was just explaining why I snapped at James so crudely.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, back to the Switch. Alright, so sold out. Which theoretically, you could maybe look at Betty Page porn on it. Boy, that's, it's weird that that's up in the air. I got an SD card ready to go. Uh, so, uhm.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And there's still a month to go. So these are all the early adopters, like Nintendo hasn't really been marketing it to mass market yet. So it sounds, if, if, and this is a pretty big if, if the Japanese region, if the, if the adoption there is any, any similar to the rest of the country, and by my, uh, by my informal perception, it seems like it's pretty similar. It seems like the first shipment of Switch is gonna sell out. Which is 2 million right off the top, which is pretty good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, Wii U sold 890,000 units in its first six weeks. So it looks like Switch has already been- Doubled it, yea. Uh, it looks like that. Uh, Media Create says that-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, they had home field advantage there, and almost nobody else bought it. So yeah, it seems like Switch has already, pre-order numbers have already beaten Wii U launch. At least they're early marketing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I, uh, I said this before when we, you know, did our impress- switch impressions or whatever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I really do think for all of the drawbacks that the Switch as hardware may have, and there are some drawbacks for sure, I think Nintendo has done an exemplary job of communicating what it is and how to use it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, they're 2.0 on launch, and then they will be updated to 3.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's so fucking weird. Well, so what that smacks up to me is, they're...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Their UI's probably not gonna be good at launch. Like the Wii U's interface was SHIT. It was slow and terrible and buggy. Uh, it wasn't done. The OS of the Wii U was just not done.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well there are pictures of it, and it is extremely simple. Mostly because the Switch doesn't do what a lot of people would say is like good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's really interesting, for Xbox One, they basically have to set aside untouched system resources, in case anyone wants to snap anything at any time. So by removing that, they actually can open up some, some processing for the UI, and yeah, for games. It's, uh, it's, man, what a fucking terrible decision that was.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, no I haven't. It's fascinating. It's similar to like, WarioWare minigames, except they're all motion based. So there's ones where you like, you have to do a dance move and then someone else has to imitate it. And it'll rank you on how close you were to the motion, things like that. Sure, I'm glad we're-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, well, thank you guys for joining us for another episode of DudeSoup. We gotta, we gotta, so since we're pre-recording this, there will be a post-show, but it's of a different variety, so that's, since it's not live, that's gonna go up when this goes up, so. Oh, no, I'm scared.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Toddle on over to fun.house and check that out if you feel like it, but thank you for joining us. Thank you for enduring our, our m-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I dunno. Anyway, sorry for playing the angry video again. Oh, okay. I didn't even try.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I did, but it's in a weird place. Anyway, continue. Uh, was there anyone?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Say what you need to say and then I'll defend this thing. Not that I have any stake in this sort of thing, but I guess I'm getting a little tired of people shitting on things that I like or things that I want to just enjoy because I like to enjoy things.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That a bunch of executives saw guards in the galaxy and went, wow we should do that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I feel like, thirty years ago they were like, what do we do with this thing we bought? We bought DC, and they kept trying to do it. And then, yea I go, uhm, and then at some point, uh, Marvel was like, oh I could do that. We could do the exact same thing, and now DC's going, shit they did it, they did that thing we were trying to do.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, this is essentially, I don't know, it's like, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This whole idea is not really original, all the characters are kind of rip-offs of each other anyway, so it doesn't really matter. Uhm, it was just, Marvel figured it out, and now DC's trying to play catch-up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And they probably, yea, sure they see things like Guardians of the Galaxy, but I don't think they're using it as a template. What I think Suicide Squad does is it acts as a very quick way to introduce a lot of villains to a universe that they're trying to play catch up with.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What's nice though is that at some point down the line, uh, in the late or early 2000s or whatever, someone figured out, oh you can do both.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, and it can make people happy if you just kinda throw a nod or a wink this way and go, Hey, we've read the comics. We know that there's actual, like, there's some history there, so. And now you have things where it's Deadpool and he's just basically screaming at you in the face saying, We get it. We're gonna put cable in the next one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well that's the world we live in now too, where people go, ugh, they ruined it, they showed too much in the trailer. And then other people go, I don't know what this movie's about, they didn't tell me nothing. It's like, well are you asking any questions, are you at least someone interested? Yeah, totally, but I don't know who the main villain is or how the movie ends.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm gonna, I'm gonna blow your mind right now, James. Alright. Sometimes people in political power say things because they want something else. And so they're just saying what people want to hear and they're gonna go, Mr. President, what if Superman killed you? And he's like, I don't, what do you need? I'll give you whatever you want. So it's, it's fear-mongering. That's all it is.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I just, I find it funny that people, and I'm probably giving the movie too much credit because maybe everyone is just super one dimensional and there's not a lot of thought put into this sort of thing. But, I just like when people go, why would that person do that or why won't JJ Abrams tell me that Khan's in this movie? It's like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just fucking go enjoy it. God, like just go in there and like shut your brain off and try to enjoy this thing as if you're watching it for the first time and you haven't been spoiled by it for the last ten months.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So my fear is we live in this weird trailer culture, where...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think David, Eyre? Eyre? Eyre? He- I haven't- so- Obviously talented. Yeah, I actually haven't seen Fury and I need to, but everyone says it's good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's a fun little film, or like a depressing film. Either way, Joyful Romp. Suicide Squad, as a DC fan, this is where my bias clearly comes out, I see that, and like, I'm like, I'm sold because Harley Quinn's in the movie.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, but I'm saying that's one of the- that's where my brain is. Where I'm just saying like, I've never seen Harley Quinn in a movie before, and Margot Robbie is like, selling me on this character. This is...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, Batman's a franchise I grew up with and it's something that I've always really liked and Harley Quinn is a character that I always thought was interesting and kinda cool and the fact that someone's doing it in my mind correctly is exciting for me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The joker's not, the joker's barely in the movie.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well they're also, in the latest trailer, spoilers, uhm, they show a lot of Batman.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, well he's on the car, there's a part where he's diving in the water after Harley Quinn and then he's carrying her to the Batmobile. Which leads me to believe it's all, uhm, flashbacks and it's all like origin story stuff. But this is all thin-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This happens in Suicide Squad. A lot of the characters are gonna die. Most likely. Because they're called Suicide Squad. Uhm, and it's probably gonna be like, like Captain Boomerang maybe, I don't know. He is a, uh, it's a stupid name.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] She's the one with the spirit inside of her or whatever. I don't know, maybe. Well either way.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That excites me, because now they're, they're setting things up, but a good film that does not make.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, I was gonna say X-Men Origins, Wolverine is one of the highest grossing X-Men movies of all time. Yeah, do the math on that one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, that's what it was. People were just clamoring for more Leif Schreiber. Fans and droves.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think we've said this, we preach this all the time. Be skeptical of everything. Don't go in, like, with your wallet being thrown against the wall saying, yes, please, I'll buy whatever blindly.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I did like when, uh, Donatello or whatever put the reverse ooze on his arm and he became human. I thought that was stupid.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well that's what I mean, the CGI has finally caught up to a point where it doesn't look like a dragon heart anymore.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And like, you can just watch it and like, once, once you do the mental gymnastics and you figure this out and you say, this is no longer a movie, this is a cartoon where the background is real life. It's basically just Roger Rabbit. Well, they also, if you notice, it's Space Jam or Looney Tunes back in action.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's what- I didn't like that Donatelle's hand became human, but then I guess maybe- I remember people were losing their shit early on because they were like, the turtles didn't come from the ooze, they came from aliens. We were like, nooo! My lore! And I was like, uh, this is based on a thing that was meant to sell. By the way-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it was, I mean in turn, what it got right was gameplay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm a goofin' man. I'm a joke. You're all goofin' on me. You're all a jokester, yeaah. Uhm. Ugh. Ugh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. Go on. I, uh, So I always kinda knew this was gonna happen. They had to make a lot of concessions and make a lot of deals. This kinda goes back to what we were talking about earlier. Where, in order, you wanna make something, like Zack Snyder's like, I wanna make a Batman movie, like, sure. But it's gotta lead him to Justice League, and he goes,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So Titanfall was, okay, we're gonna, uh, poach a lot of people from Infinity Ward, and we're gonna make our own game. We're gonna do all the stuff that we wanted to do, uh, with jetpacks and wall running and all this stuff, and then Call of Duty, we'll rip it off years later, and claim it as original, uhm, as, you know, game developers do.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, people want multiplayer, why are we wasting time on single player? And Activision was always like, cause that's what we do. And he was like, alright, fuck it. I know better. And in a way he did.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well I think, I would say Titanfall's, probably the best comparison is actually what James just said, Overwatch.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We're, we're, we're freakin' babies when it comes to this stuff because they just drop a little lore hint and we're like, oh my god, did you see that McCree was actually an outlaw instead of an actor? Like, we all fought and then they made a reference to it and then you just shoot each other for ten minutes and it doesn't fucking matter because there's no, there's no single player but we're eating it up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Kind of like, almost like indie game development, like it was a small studio. And what they got done was pretty impressive, but now they have-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, and Blizzard I would say is probably prone to something that you see happen in a lot of industries where it got a little too big and now you can't really do the things that Blizzard was kind of like probably what a lot of the people who originally started working there fell in love with.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, and so then, that's why you see people go, uhm, yeaah, I'm gonna go start my own studio. Or I'm gonna go do this because I wanna go make a thing that, this is why I fell in love with game development, and I don't wanna do it at a big place anymore. And, I mean, I would say, I feel like that's what happened with Valve. In some way.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Where people went in there and they're like, we're doing VR now, and they're like, but I wanted to make Half-Life, like hahaha, VR! It makes money. Uhm, who knows, maybe they'll make Half-Life, I don't know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So yeaah, I can see Titanfall was one of those things that came out of that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] From, well they, I mean they were basically forced out of the studio, we saw that whole thing unfold. That was a mess. Remember the story? Yeah, oh yeah. Everyone? Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We should play Titanfall today. Yeah, maybe. It's like a 60 gig download, but also fun.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My, my, my hope for one of them, because I always, I like the idea of doing like orbital combat, which is like Star Citizen's kind of doing, but like I would love the idea that there is like a, like a space elevator type thing where it's like, it is something just kind of sitting in the stratosphere and you're fighting for this control point but there's stuff on the ground, and I'd love this like ability where you just jump


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's these like, it, uh, Robo-Tac or something of that, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That was my favorite thing is because people would get distracted by the bots, and sometimes you couldn't tell the difference. Like, if you squint your eyes a little bit, you can tell, but uhm.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So my hope, and you guys are gonna hate this, maybe James was with me earlier, I would like them to put a little bit of a MOBA twist on it, a little bit. I don't like, well here's the thing, I don't like perma, perma unlocks. I don't like having to grind through a game.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm a little sick of games, I'm a little sick of Call of Duty where it's like, uhm, unlock this weapon. I'm more about now like CSGO and Halo and stuff where it's like, you know what we did? We balanced the game, everything that's in here, but you know what? If you want a little weapon skin, we can get that for you. Yea, we can do that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But then what I would like is that during the match, much like Warzone and Halo,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, where it's just, it's progression. You're building up, and it's like, oh, you want that ultra ability to run on walls faster, or you want to double jump faster, or whatever, or have like an invisibility option? That's an unlock. It's like a Battleborn, where you can like, you have like a skill tree that you unlock as you go down, and then next game, all resets.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, but you have to unlock to kill streaks, and then they have a point system. It's too complicated, and one of the things that I really liked about Titanfall was it simplified things a lot. They're like, one gun, two attachments, that's it. Like, it was pretty simple.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, that was a, that was a, uh, but now it's coming to PS4, but I'm sure that was the, one of the cons, that was one of the...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Conceits. Yeah, one of the conceits they had to make was... Concession. Concession, sorry. James was wrong, Lawrence was right.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's what I assumed you were getting at. I only saw Blaine's tweet where he's like, he's like, I know I'm a man, but this shit still makes me cry. And I'm like, you puss.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I guess. And I was like, why do I care?


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[Assistant] I don't know, I mean like, you know, the thing that kept me engaged with Gears was they did have the cookie crumb trail of like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I know it's the Yahtzee thing, but it was like, chest high walls, chest high walls, and you just hide behind cover and you shoot things and...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We're running out of ideas, so now they're just introducing Promethean characters like, uh, you gotta shoot them a lot. Yeaah. They go, huh. Is there, is there a quick way of taking them down? They're like, no!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They, they, you shoot them a lot. Shoot them a lot. Like, huh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I mean, some characters, like, uh, there are ones, like, there's one character, it's a knight.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sorry. Anyway, gear's four, I'm outta here. I have like zero interest. Which is a shame.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I played through it once, and I might be wrong in this, but did you spend most of the game underground, or was that just a part of it?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sure, but that's just a tech demo at that point. Where it's like, it's pretty, but it's still the same game.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They set things up that seemed interesting where they're like, Marcus Fenix, you're, you're in jail because, against crimes against humanity. And he's like, oh man, and they're like, hey bro, war's happening, we gotta let you out. Uhm.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I felt like it never got past that. It was never anything more interesting than that, for me. And then they, they kind of allude to like, oh there's the locust. And then I was like, oh did the humans maybe make the locust? Or like, maybe there's another like plot here of like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That we are on a foreign planet, so maybe- Yeah, Terra? Yeah, I was gonna say, yeah, maybe humans, like, invaded this planet, and this is- No, Sarah. Sarah, sorry, not Terra. Yeah. Idiot. Fucked it up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But, going into that, I was more interested in, and also, I'm gonna say this one too, books don't really count.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, cause I'm not gonna read them, so if someone wants to get upset and say, no, if you read this book, the lore makes more sense.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Words, words are hard. But either way, they do, I was wondering if they would do a thing where it's like, okay, humans invaded this planet and it's like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We don't, the humans don't belong here, it's just the locusts are trying to take it back.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I remember more moments like the first game where you did the spotlight thing and like I like things when you do think you play a game and it kind of makes you


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, flex your thinking muscles a little bit. Like Portal, which is a tough game to...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Compared to, because it's so damn good, but that game where you go, oh, oooooh, and then it makes you feel smarter? You can't, you can't ask every game to do that, obviously.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But then, well, Gears was always like, you'd be walking down a- you'd open a door and they'd do this thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It doesn't seem like, uh, I don't know, you have to understand the story at all. No, but you also just kind of absorb it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] For me, I mean, obviously we're an older generation, so maybe I know I do, I think differently. Uhm, I tend to find more enjoyment in nuance.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And be able to go in and go, I like, like, uh, if James were to go, oh, did you know that, um, like, blah, blah, blah, character did this, and this one thing, or like, there's like a subtle reference here, then you go, I had no idea, that's really smart, cool, I'd rather have that than the game blatantly tell me, and just scream at me and go, you need to feel things.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause, it just, I don't know, it, it, it feels more organic, I feel like games are just this different type of medium that you don't need to experience like a film.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I had a moment this weekend where I was unpacking everything and finally got my like, all my computer stuff set up. And I have Quantum Break just sitting on my Xbox.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I want to play it, but it was like, okay. Already I'm like, it's on Xbox. It's gonna be some load times. Okay, that's fine. And I remember playing it when we went to that San Francisco thing, and I just remember I'm like, there's 30 minutes of story I gotta get through, and I don't care. I wanna, I, maybe you can skip it, I don't know, I haven't gone that far.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, cause like I want to just be entertained because I only have a certain amount of hours in the day that I want to do and I don't want to dedicate 20 of them to seeing Iceman hang out with Littlefinger.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Salivating. It's funny cause I-I'm, I'll tell you what I think of it in a minute, but


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Don't you feel like it's the kind of super- it's so far from what we've seen, it feels like the kind of superhero movie that would have been attempted to be made in like 2002.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What, suicide squad? That's how I feel about DC's, like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And Suicide Squad, I'm kinda like whatever, so I guess my question to you guys is what would, uhm, what would a good Suicide Squad movie need?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Civil war of their own, where it's...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] From the viewpoint of just the trailer, I thought it was a good trailer. I'm not saying, I'm not saying I thought it was a trailer that indicated a good movie. I'm saying I thought it was a well-made movie trailer. It was interesting, it looked fun, it didn't give away too much of the actual plot or story.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, Yermodil Toro was supposed to direct The Hobbit. Yeah. Uhm, but then he couldn't. And then, uh, Peter Jackson just gets dragged. He wouldn't. I guess that's the question. He probably wouldn't.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What was it? It's a pun cause it's over in his butt.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The full trailer's coming at E3, right? Probably. I imagine that, of course. Coming in June, I believe.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, unless Titanfall did this later in its life, it never really had events on a regular basis to keep it interesting. Yeaah, that would be cool. It could have done that, it could have done like weekly, like here's a new, you know, like GTA essentially with introducing maps and stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't think that they are the same breed.


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[Assistant] It does hit you through your gameplay mechanic, but the way that those- the story and that intertwine is so masterfully done. That's true.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, I think you raised a good point with something like Bioshock where you're picking up audio logs and you're getting all that story and it's not coming at the cost of the gameplay is very true. Because nobody wants to sit through giant cutscenes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You experienced what I went through with Avatar. It was the first movie I saw in theaters.


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[Assistant] 3D and I remember having a bad headache for about a day and a half. That's when I realized, oh 3D is stupid. I get it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We can put it to a quick vote. Do we want to do a spoiler version or non-spoiler?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I guess, well here's, here's, maybe this is a spoiler.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] At least if we don't know yet, the future of the Star Wars franchise. Oh, sure. There's nothing in there where they're like, Hi, nice to meet you, I'm Mr. Finn.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm actually okay with that, but then also, there's stuff where like, I'm, I'm guessing, um, you know, everyone loves the droid. Was it KC? K2SO.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know what the shortening is. Um, that, he's a character that, because he's a droid, he could potentially come back in future films, cause they're like, oh yea, we just found this robot and plugged him in, and he came back and we're like, oh cool, and he could show up in like episode 8 or something. That would be kinda cool. Like I said, so we don't know yet. Um, but, you don't think that's gonna happen?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've seen the movie twice and I'm still having a hard time remembering anyone's name. Yeah. Like, it's very tough. Jan Orso? Is that Jan? It's Jan, right? Jan Orso.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They tried really hard to make him Han Solo, except he goes, Jin, we have to go here!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm trying to think too, like when you, I think we're always going to be looking at Sarwars through Roseton and Goggles because after Return of the Jedi, it was what, an Ewok special?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, Adam, what's your one thing? Uhm, my thing is just, this is, uhm, I always like seeing, this was a big


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Anything that has an expanded universe, I'm always interested in someone's unique take on it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, I thought George Lucas was a little too grippy with it. People will celebrate him and call him a genius with like the circle theory and stuff like that, but really what I thought the movies were were templates.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're like, okay, we got our intro, we got our wipe, we got this. The story takes place over the course of a week or so. Like, you look at all the movies, there's a lot of similarities. None of them


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Really stand as like a unique different film. They all have, uhm, a very, as they should, you know, it's a franchise, it's fine. But this was the first movie where they said, other than being Ewok Adventures, where they're like, you can,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Pretty much do whatever you want, go nuts, but you have to stay within these confines, uh, but like, you didn't have to shoot it on a green screen, you didn't have to use the Force Awakens soundtrack, like, you know what I mean, like, they could just...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It did okay with it. Like, I think it was unique, it was cool. I just, my thing is like, I always like when kids grow up.


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[Assistant] And then there are the ones who are like, man, wouldn't it be cool if, you know, these are, that's like JJ Abrams, like, oh man.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I would, if we're doing a one to one, just real quick, the opening to Force Awakens to me is still gripping. It's awesome. Because it, it, there's immediately a mystery and then you see Kylo Ren be a badass, seeing a laser just being frozen. As long as it's like, I'm in. Rogue One, I was kind of like, it takes, it takes a little bit. Why are they panning in on the blue milk? Why is this important?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well done cinematography and good shots. And it did a bunch of different, it did different things. When they're like, oh, let's ram this vehicle into another one and then they're introducing different elements. I mean, it's all stuff like we've kind of seen before, but someone said, they did that one thing and said, well, what if?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, let me explain. That was actually, fucks, fuck it, spoiler. Sorry we got your spoilers. That's fine. So there's a total of about two scenes of Vader.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] One of them's okay. You see him, you see him in his castle.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's a red light in a dark room and you're like, holy shit, this is freaky. And he goes, fool Sith Lord, which we've never seen Vader do in that form at least.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And just like one hand blocking blasts, choking dudes, throwing sabers through people and just ripping them apart more. I mean that movie is worth it just for that scene.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Holy shit, like that, that was, that was the moment where someone said, wouldn't it be cool if we saw Vader kick ass? And that, that to me was like the really awesome cool moment, but then to James's point,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He did all that and then it's kind of funny that he does this moment where he goes through a hallway, murders a bunch of people.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then they do the exact same thing later and he goes, I'm tired. Oh yea, no I know, he stops, yea. Stormtroopers, you do it. But then it's like, okay, yes, this movie was made in 1977. It was shot 40 years apart.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This was almost like a really good version of that. It was canon. Well yea, cause where you go like, like really, there's an exhaust port on the top and no one knew to put like a grate on it. It was like, and then if you go,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well no, the guy who, he was an angry employee of the empire and he actually put that there on purpose and he said, it's small enough, no one will notice. And it's like, yeaah, and it's a fucking one in a million womp ramp chance or whatever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We watched it in like, Bruce, holy shit. It starts off with a like, a Japanese battle. Samurai battle. Samurai battle, so you're already like, okay, I get it, historic battle, cool, but everyone kinda looks like Attack on Titan a little bit, and it's just...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This badass fight and then, spoiler, uh, the main character of this thing dies in like a gruesome way and he wakes up and he's in a hallway with hundreds of doors and a guy at a desk with like an old computer and he's like, oh, you're going to this time period now and you're like, okay, I'm in. This is awesome.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Ironically, I had the least amount of work while we were in Austin.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, but we, it was funny because, so, I'm terrible about this. They sent us all the scripts beforehand, like, here you go, and I was like, totally gonna get to it. Not until the night before we shot that I was like, we all sat down like, let's go through the scripts. I read it on the plane.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Man, doing 360 shoots is way different than stage play. Yeaah. We were basically putting on a show. Yeaah. It was kind of cool that the night before, I believe, it was either Blaine or Josh, they switched off but they like wrote songs for us. Yeaah. And then we performed them and then we had to go to the office and then record our version of it. I was like, this is...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, but man, yeaah, we were, we were crazy busy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Doing that stuff. Those were like 12 hour days just kind of shooting and like, you know, stuff that I can't wait to see what it looks like. Yea, it was a lot of fun though. Yea, it was a lot of fun.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What do I do? And it's just a lot of busy work and moving around, especially when you're like a PA or something like that. This is the first time being on the other side of it where we were pretty much the talent.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It doesn't, it doesn't do that for leather pants. Uhm, there was- No, yours got trapped. My, yeah. They come out your, you gotta shake them out your ankles like sand. Well, even, and then one of the days they gave us knee pads that went on under our tight clothes. And I think only Bruce and I put them on. But I remember us being like, ARGH!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] One of the days, one of the days we shot, we shot at a house and Lawrence has this picture of me sitting alone on like a bench chair and he just took a picture of me from behind and like texted it to me while I was out there. It was cause I was farting so much. I was like, I can't be inside the house cause there's nowhere to go. And so I was just sitting there going like, burp, burp.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, oh and then, I think I may have told you this is what happened.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, part of my outfit was a belt, but it was like an SNM belt, uhm, and it was a death trap.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And we were shooting at that armory where it's just like, it's all, it's like an old prison or something. Like it's very scary. But I went to the bathroom and I was just,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I thought it was a button on the inside. It's a button. They thought it was too. There was like a lever and they ended up cutting the belt in half because that broke it. I think it was a piece of shit. Look cool. I don't blame anyone other than the belt manufacturer for this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Horrible thing, but that was uhm, man I was happy to get that thing off of me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I guess for those unaware, Snapchat.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is a fleeting, uh, service in the sense that


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You watch and then it goes away or whatever. And that's why, it's weird when you explain the story because it's someone filming their phone.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well that's what I, I actually, uh, I was very envious of that. Because I feel like that's going to be our future eventually, since we film everything. And pretty soon that choice will one day just be taken away from us. So I think this guy is sort of...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's sort of the star child from the end of 2001 Space Odyssey. He is...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Some people, some people like females, some like blokes. Some like both. If you can have both at the same time. What a future we live in. Why not? If half of that could be a horse, we'd be set.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's like, uh, what is it, the Surface Book? Yeah, yeah. Is that? Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, so that's, I always see people get upset about this stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You have to kind of get yourself in check and remember why you buy Nintendo hardware. It's for exclusive Nintendo games. Typically, that's what I've learned.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I bought a Wii U not expecting to play Skyrim on it or whatever, you know, any multi-console release game. I was like, that's gonna be on a console or a PC, man. Like if that's the experience you're looking for, don't look to Nintendo for


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Groundbreaking tech, but look at them for optimization.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, their games are gonna run great on their own hardware.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I know we did a whole bit on Star Wars and kind of just went into the, it is, South Park's so fucking smart, but they did the whole member berries thing. Yeah. Nintendo's like member berries in the best possible way. It'll have virtual console. Uhm, and they've been, well, so that's actually the thing that kind of excites me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You've been able to do emulators and all the stuff on your phone and PSPs and vidas and stuff for years.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I kinda want something like, if Nintendo put out something that was...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hell yeaah, that'd be, that'd be great. They don't do an all you can eat thing though, do they?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Mario Run sold 2.85 million digital units in its first day, and Pokemon Go was the biggest game of this year.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're probably looking at that and going, shit, if we just make Pokemon Go exclusive, the next version of it, exclusive to Switch, done.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I love hanging out with those guys. Can we, we can't talk about the thing we have t-shirts for, but is an animated thing. Oh, I mean, there's nothing to know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, there's not. Uhm, yeah, I can't make any promises. I would hope.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] By the time RTX Sydney comes around, we could have something more to talk about then. Hopefully. Yeah, I'm not, no promises.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm trying to just entice you to go for it. Also there's gonna be air conditioning this time, so that's gonna be good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I know, I know, I know, I know, I know Gavin does this bit where like, explain to a caveman, but just even explain to someone who died a hundred years ago, I mean like, Lawrence? Yeah, well just hang. The majesty of me. You don't understand.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was in Australia. What's Australia? Don't worry about it. It's a country island. You haven't discovered it yet. That prison colony? I flew there for fun. People came there to see me and I had a headache.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What is that? Shut up. And then the second time I got one of these earth shattering headaches, uh, I went and saw a film about space wizards and I used these magic glasses. They went, what's a film?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh yea, we still play it. He will tweet something that's sort of like, come on Joel. Why would you tweet that? And then one of us will try to reply with a more, equally or infinitely more hilarious reply. And that reply will get more retweets and favorites than his original tweet. Just knocks him down.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Welcome to a poorly, a poorly keyed episode. Did we start already? Oh snap. This bowl is brought to you by Blue Apron and Movement Watches. Why are there a box of tissues here?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, that's, that's legacy from last week when I was blowing my nose all the time. He's disappeared and I couldn't find them and apparently they were just wrapped up in the set. I keep hiding them from him but he finds them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, so you can go to, you can check out this week's menu and get your first three meals for free with free shipping by going to BlueApron.com slash soup.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And you can get 15% off your entire movement watch order by going to movementwatches.com slash dudesoup. That's mvmtwatches.com slash dudesoup.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh man, we got a cool topic for today. Tell me about it. What's that? Boy, I'm excited. Hold on, what's your name? It's the intersection of all things. Oh yeah, uh, I'm, I'm your, your hosted MC, Master of Podcasting Ceremonies, Lawrence Sontag. Uh, I'm Reverend Horton Heat. Thank you for having me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Anyway, we got a great discussion. It's basically the intersection of all things that I love. Um, virtual reality, anime, and sexual assault. So, and I really really like this particular topic because I feel like VR is going to undergo the same sort of


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] arc in public consciousness that video games did in the first place, namely in regards to them being a new level of interactivity and thus causing a new level of moral panic. On that note, uh, there is a article from Engadget, which talked about a minigame in Dead or Alive Xtreme that you can play in VR.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, if you're not aware, let me just punch it up for, you know, academics, shall we?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, Dead or Alive Xtreme is an offshoot of the Dead or Alive fighting game, which has big titty ladies. The Xtreme version is mostly them playing volleyball and a bunch of minigames where you feed them strawberries and give them presents. It's, it's, it's, it's a girlfriend simulator, except they don't cry, you don't have to do the dishes. They want it. Sorry? They want it. Yea, they do.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Frayberries. On that note, uh, here, one hour? Oh, that's good.


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[Assistant] Fairly recently. Okay. But Dead or Alive VR is what this is called. PlayStation VR is gonna launch, uh, and this is the lead from Engadget. Okay. And essentially you're looking at it now. But PlayStation VR is going to launch with a game that allows players to sexually assault a woman who is actively asking them to stop. Uhm, here are some quotes from the Engadget article.


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[Assistant] Before we go into that, I have a lot of questions, basically, about how virtual reality and interactivity change our moral perception of entertainment.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Almost as devil's advocate established a couple of things off the top. So this is weird and gross, but anime in Japan has had a lot of that stuff for a while. Minigames where you poke a girl and she's just like, no, ehh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Bizarrely common. So this, this wasn't made specifically for VR.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And this isn't an isolated incident. There are tons of games where, like even on the DS, where you'll just poke at a girl and she'll be like, eeh, ugh. I don't know why, but it's about the equivalent of any other minigame that's more, well.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Maybe. I think at this point it's almost overused to the point of tropes. Search your feelings. There are some people who probably really get off to that. I would argue more people are probably just like, fascinated by the Tamagotchi aspect of it. I don't know for sure. I don't live in Japan.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That is exactly where I was gonna take it, is that? Yeah. It's gross, but, so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And please, please dispute this if you guys feel like this isn't accurate, but I feel like right now, especially in the western zeitgeist, we're very hypersensitive of women's representation in media. Rightly so, I think. Yeah, yeah. Sure. So, uh, that plays, I think, a factor here and, and especially personally how I reacted to this was like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But then I- James, I had the same reaction. I was like, well wait a minute. Violence is kind of the cornerstone of interactive entertainment.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, and then I actually thought about it and I was like, there aren't too many hyper-violent VR games available now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I guarantee myself they will exist and when they do I'll probably be totally okay with it. Yeaah. Something like this though seems like it's another level for some reason and I'm trying to figure out why.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And people do that to Achievement Hunter even more. Because they're even more caustic towards each other in videos, and especially Michael.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I've seen it happen, and I even know it happened to myself. When you're young, and you don't know how the world works, and you don't know how relationships work,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You adopt a lot of that stuff from media. Uhm, and I did that, and I think it's natural, I don't know healthy, but I think natural is a good way to say it. What did you do?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, I, I grew up with kind of the 80s vision of clicks and stuff, so I thought, I'm a nerd, therefore, there are certain, there are certain social...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What, what I, what I, I don't believe that a grown, responsible adult will strap on PlayStation VR, poke a girl, and then say, I wanna do that in real life. I do think that a,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] 8 year old or a 12 year old, if they're doing that, I think it does kind of breed a certain amount of desensitization when you're staring at a female form or you get the idea that female bodies are purely there for your enjoyment.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I guess we should take a second to, or at least I should take a second to explain I don't think that games like this cause these issues. Yes, I agree. I also think that


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] For 99% of adult human beings, they can perceive something like this as comedy or, or, you know, something that's thoroughly not connected to reality. I think, I think as, as has been said, and I just want to drive the point home, it's, it's more like is this symptomatic of, of a problem or is it


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, I think, I think one of my favorite, or what's growing, going to become one of my favorite periods in American history is the 1950s where you had violent racism. Even, even if you were middle class white, even if you had a good, it was still not great because everybody kind of adopted a template lifestyle and it's, it's the age of, you know, the housewife just drinking hard liquor and taking fucking Xana or Percocets or whatever.


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[Assistant] Yeah, get the saran wrap. Every, uhm, every culture seems to have things that it demonizes. In America, it's sex, for whatever reason. And even though we love alcohol, we also hate it. We even outlawed it at some point. So that's weird. Uhm, and even though we're not quite as...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Complicated, I would say, in terms of gender relations as a country like Japan that's been around for millennia or more than that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's still got its own quirks, uhm, and I guess, to, to some people's credit, those quirks are now being dragged out into the limelight. So yeaah, it's an interesting question, and I'm not saying you pose this question, but...


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[Assistant] It sounds like you kinda hit on the answer, which is burkas. Kids shouldn't play it. But, I guess, I guess the, again the counterpoint is they're going to, because it's the world, so.


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[Assistant] What's, you know, I guess, I guess it'd be nice to live, I don't know, I guess, I guess that's the devil's question. And I'll get to that right after this ad read. Uhm, I guess if you're looking to take some vices out of your life, you can probably start with how you eat. And one way to do that is through Blue Apron. Eat actual food from actual ingredients instead of fast food or eating out a lot, which costs a lot of money.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I wouldn't say I'm quite in that community yet, but I do, I've been cooking a lot and I'm getting better at it. So that's kind of cool, after like a month you start to find out, man, my cutting technique's getting better, I'm learning how to prioritize tasks, so. Do the knuckle thing? Uh, not yet. Okay. The knuckle thing kind of kills me because you're supposed to leave the knife on the board and just like, just, yeaah.


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[Assistant] It's weird cause there's a balancing act, if you have like a bunch of greens or whatever, you need to like smoosh them up so you can chop them. But you can't really do that if you're knuckling. So, I've been working on it. I've been working on it. What I do is I use these sides of my fingers, which I'm not supposed to do. But then when I cut, I just bring the knife to it and rest it on my fingers so I don't actually chop the ends of my fingers.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, yeah, I'll get better, I'll get better. I'll develop the right technique. But, since we got a Blue Apron sponsor, that means I get to read some recipes for you guys. Okay. So, this week, we can look forward to Paprika Spiced Shrimp.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, spicy hoisin chicken stir fry with baby bok choy, sesame, ginger, cucumber salad.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Eggplant chickpea tangine with island pepper, tomato, and couscous.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, that sounded delicious to you guys. You should go to uh, blueapron.com slash soup. You can get your first three meals for free with free shipping. Three and free.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm jumbling up today. That's uh, blurayprint.com slash soup. Thank you for your sponsorship. Yeah, like I said, my, my, I got like a couple weeks for free and I've been paying for it ever since and it's totally worth it. We should do a podcast where


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I guess, there's a lot of like philosophical depth you can get to about whether or not you take issue with this and on what level. So I guess a good question is, should we embrace and allow for the quirky, weird, vicey side of humankind, provided it doesn't hurt anyone? Like demonstrably hurt anyone? Or is it worth


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it kind of touches on the thought crime idea. Is it worth making sure that everyone has wholesome beliefs and thinking that that will then inform a good society?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, no, I gave my youth to video games and I feel like it was a good trade-off.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It sounds like you guys are pretty firmly on the side of there's ways to enjoy vice responsibly. Which I agree, as an adult as well, but, so, let's, uh, fuck it man, I'm gonna go there, so let's talk about the pedophiles conundrum. Let's say you're an ethical pedophile.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And you don't want to hurt anyone, but you can't get off to anything else. You just have that drive. And that's your only get down and you hate it and you hate yourself for it, but there's just something about it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, if you will. Wait, that's not what Twinks are. Twinks are just, uh, sparkly. They're feminine men. Just a Joel, basically.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So let's say that this ethical pedophile finds a partner who loves pretending and participating in this fantasy. So they dress like a child, they act like a child, and they totally like the fantasy of getting taken advantage of by an adult. Now you have two consenting people.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Society doesn't work that way, or rather, you can't trust everyone to abide by those rules eternally.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, so that's why we have laws, that's why certain drugs are illegal, that's why.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You can't have, you know, certain kinds of weapons. Uhm, it's, it's sort of about knowing that the system will break and putting in safeguards for when it does. Whenever a human being violates that, that social contract and decides to harm others for fun. Go ahead. Uhm, so it's...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And to drill this all the way down, I think that a game like this is two or three steps removed from any...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Actual, justifiable harm happening in the world.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Unless you believe this is harm unto itself, which I don't quite.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I guess, I guess personally and also living in western culture I get why somebody might be mad at a VR game where you can poke and prod at a girl who has no choice but to sit there but at the same time. Watching a lot of anime.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Even these don't try and convince you these are real people. They're dolls and you poke at them and just because they mimic the affectation of a real human doesn't mean I don't think the creators intended that to be perceived that way.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But if you have to be- CROSS THE ROOM! You'll never get to bowl if you're late to the bowling alley. Your friends will finish up their game, they'll leave, you'll text them, what the fuck, dude you were late. Maybe you should have gotten a watch from Movement Watches. Nice, that was good. Nah, nah. That was real good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hello. Oh yeaah, look at that. Watch Bros. Watch, activate.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, so uh, movement watches, they sell classy timepieces with minimal designs, which I really like, for not a lot of money, because they're not in stores, and they don't pay for Leonardo DiCaprio to wear their watch and look really cool on a billboard. Though he might. Although someday, man. Look, they're probably signing the deal right now, and they're like, fuck, what did he say? No, they're not listening to this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Shit! At least I was next to him on a piece of paper for a while. Uh, but yeaah, it's, it's, you know, it's, it's basically everything you could ask for if you're in the market for a watch. They look good, they work, which, you know, watches should do. Uh, and they don't cost a lot of money. They start at 95 bucks. And you can get 50% off that by going to movementwatches.com slash dude soup.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, so once more their brand is MVMT, because they're modern and hip like that. So movement watches, MVMT watches, w-e-t-c-h-e-s dot com slash dudesuit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] 50% off your entire order. If you're looking for a watch or you just want a cool accessory, you want to be retro cool because you don't


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Let me just say, pulling out your phone to check the time, that's pretty cool. And if you have a cool phone, whatever, but having a watch, man, nothing beats it. Timeless. So once more, that's movementwatches.com slash dudesu. Thanks for your sponsorship, movement. Thanks for keeping the world in time. Uh, that should be their tagline. That's hard.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I did it. So I guess to wrap up, we can take quick hot takes on this one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's some more NX rumors from Emily Rogers, uh, who is, who is, I'm fascinated by this persona by the way. So there's this, there's this persona named Emily Rogers on the internet. She leaks all kinds of Nintendo stuff and nobody knows who it is. It's a, it's a real deep throat situation except it's about plastic. It's Emily Rogers.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, the, uh, the diagram was there were these two things you would snap onto the end of a tablet, and they would have rumble motors and motion controls in them, so you could pop them off and use them like normal controllers too, if you're displaying to a TV.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, I think actually, rumor is the home version will have additional hardware in the dock that makes the output to the TV like a higher resolution or something like that. And then when you take it with you, you just have the full console game on your tablet as well.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, the third tweet is the prototype dock for the station has USB ports. I heard two USB ports. I don't know if this number will change in the final product. Could be for additional storage. Is this a, uh, is this a feature people are clamoring for?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Nintendo will never give people what they're asking for. Nintendo always always always tries to find something that people didn't know they wanted.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well and, so it depends on how you see that. So it wasn't the best selling point, I agree. After using it, there were, there was a very small cross section of times when the Wii U tablet was cool to have.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] One of which, very rare, was when I was like, I'm gonna play a game in bed, and I just take the tablet to bed, and I play a full game on the tablet. Uh, but, I think that, you could argue that yea, the functionality wasn't really desired in the first place. Also, Nintendo did a terrible job, uhm, communicating to a mass market how to use it and what it did. Uhm, a lot of people thought it was just a,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The final tweet is, these are all rumors for now, not facts. Just things that I've been hearing down the grapevine. Could be wrong, could be right. Shrug. Real quick.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Both, I mean, so, there's, I'm not gonna deny, you know, I was reared on Nintendo, so there's that element there, there's just the emotional sting of it. Uhm, I am intellectually curious because I think, I think Nintendo has the capacity to surprise.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, which, being as old and as jaded on games, jaded is maybe not the right word, but seasoned maybe, I've played so many games on so many platforms in so many ways, and Nintendo's the only way that even if it doesn't work, at least they try something new every time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So it's almost worth it just for that. Just to be like, okay, you're gonna give me something. It was like Kinect. Like, I didn't like it, but I was fascinated by it. And until I used, I gave it a really good college try on a number of different games, I was like, nope, this is not, this is just not working. Not gonna do it. But thank you for trying. Uhm, it's nice to have something to look forward to that's not just...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I hit the thing in the middle to turn it on and then I press buttons and then I shoot some guys and then I put the controller down. It's nice to, to imagine a different kind of interactive


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They call that blue ocean mentality, but. What does that mean? So, uh, this was an Iwata thing. Uhm, he said Nintendo was a blue ocean company, so there's the red ocean, which is where all the fish are fighting. It's bloody.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Nintendo's always gonna try to find a product that's way over there. A market that doesn't even exist yet. So while yea, you're right, to a degree the market has kind of voted with their money saying what they want, which is...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's another number of interfaces that have come up, but you're never gonna get the, the nuance of a full controller with all of its buttons and discrete inputs.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, a lot of people have tried it and they've all failed terribly, but I think there might be some legs to having a full game, a full console game experience and a mobile platform that you don't have to carry a little Wii U and a big bulky Tyco


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If it's just a sleek tablet that you can either use without a controller or pop controllers on and use it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And the controllers don't have sticks that stick way out and buttons that pop way out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Fairly flat. I could see just like, popping those off, like tucking them in, putting a little sleeve, and that'd be a great airplane device, it'd be a great travel device, I mean, you've been using the Nvidia Shield for that, and I guess in that regard, that shit already exists, so. Well, you know, Nintendo, what are you gonna bring to the game, aside from your IP?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You can't hit the job. I'm talking about using like a third party controller. Oh, okay. Yeah, like using like Bluetooth or something like that. I always had some lag issues with those, but that was a while ago. That was three or four years ago.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, mmm, maybe. Is this a bit? I mean, it might be like a, so the, I mean, Nintendo has like, what, a patent on the actual plus detail? Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, I kinda fell victim to VR hype, cause I'm not, man, I got an Oculus, I paid a lot of money for that, and it's not great. It's just not.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well thanks for listening everybody, we got the post show coming up. Uhm, that is a first only piece of con- wha-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Anyway, I got wet, I don't know how. Uh, but it's the first and only piece of content, uh, Rooster Teeth First. We uh, we look at a lot of fan art, we talk about comments, basically we keep talking about stuff, but if you're interested in that stuff, maybe getting to know the Funhaus community a little better, look into it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, and yeaah, as far as this podcast goes, I want to thank you for listening. This is a lot of fun, we enjoyed doing it. If you liked it, and you want to, you want to spread it around, please do. Maybe give us a little rating on iTunes or something like that, recommend it to a friend.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We'll do the post show, we'll be back in about five minutes, so thanks for watching everybody, we'll see you soon. I wanna go to a beach.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We put the sex doll where a human would normally sit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I took a vacation. You're about to take a vacation too. You're gonna do the same vacation as me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I got, I got really mad last night, so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And go, you're what's wrong with this place. There's fucking 18.6 million people in this town and it's crowded because of people like you who have this like great magical idea of what LA is. LA sucks and it's my home.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's how a lot of people are with Los Angeles and they're like, man, the Cure's just playing every night. I can just, I can look at the hotel I stayed in last week when I first came out here when I wanted to be an actor. Anyway, I need to go back to the gym.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] 534.1 Yea Bruce, if you want to just like, we can just buy some shit from Ikea and just put some desks here and we can put the mic stands here. That's a little bit. That would be a cheaper option, we can just reuse the mics we have. We have to move equipment around, but.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But the worst part was, I immediately went from like, God, I hate these people selling shirts to this one guy going, huh, look at these idiots selling shirts. I'm like, fuck you, he's trying to make a living.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Also, this was, I liked, we went to the Hollywood Bowl, which, you know, is not like a real concert venue where there was a mosh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, like English bands typically, but like Oasis, apparently they would, this is super timely I know, but apparently they just don't do shit, they just sit there and go, here's the song blah blah blah, and it's like, that was kind of the cure, it was like, we just do the shit, and everyone's gonna be like, are you having a good night? And people are like, OH MY GOD HE TALKED TO ME! HE DID IT!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That makes sense. Yeah, but like, so on that note of not trying, I listened to their new album, the white album, whatever, on the way over here, and the whole time I just went, huh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, I don't understand Adam saying he doesn't believe review should exist. And I went there and said, I said review scores, I'm fine with reviews, blah blah. And then the guy goes like, what are you talking about? And then someone goes, he said review scores. He goes, oh sorry, didn't read it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I feel like that is the sort of the world we live in where


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Google's right there. It's always a little to the left or a little to the right. Like, it's on your phone. It's somewhere near you. You can say, okay, Google right now and someone's phone's gonna go off. There it goes. Uhm, but like, there's always the thing where people will ask something and be like, uhm.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, no worries. Uhm, but like, you can have a question where it's like, you'll see a thread of people and be like, like, did you know in China you can only have one kid bomb? And someone will go, what's the population of China? It's like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's a generally good thing just for making conversations with people. So like, I've noticed this, people will have conversations. I'll be like, hey, uhm, there's a new season of Daredevil. He goes, I know, I've seen it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I'll talk and I'll usually pause because I don't like, I try not to do the ums and ahs so often because I know that it sounds bad. So sometimes I'll talk and I'll say something and I'll be like, oh yeah, so we're going to the store. We went over to CVS. My turn now. Yeah. And then I go, oh shit, no.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's, I've been, I've been having these future moments recently. Like, so you were mentioning earlier I was in Vegas. Vegas is sort of like the city of the future. Cause, like hear me out. Is this dystopia? No no no, good future. So like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The really tall buildings with like crazy light patterns. I'm like, this is kinda futuristic. And we went and saw that, uh, Cirque du Soleil show. Zumanity. Zumanity. It wasn't Zumanity? It was all Zumanity. It was highly recommended by... I didn't know. I didn't see. I think Chelsea may have recommended it. She's like, there's tits. Cause see the shit. What? I was like, there's nudity in this? Oh yea.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So at one point, a giant bowl comes out from the bottom of the floor and then two naked Asian women are swimming around each other and like, it's supposed to be like a champagne bottle, I'm just like, I'm in the future now. This is cool. This is entertainment.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I had that moment in Vegas because we went to a buffet and I was like, god I feel so full. I wish I could throw up and eat again.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The confusion there though, I mean maybe it is closer to Hunger Games than I know, but Hunger Games was kind of dumb because it was like, there were people who had it so good, and then there was Katniss who was eating her own feces.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's sort of like the chappy thing where it's like we have all this stuff, but we just don't want to give it to you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I hate dystopian books that do that because it seems so completely unrealistic because the best way to keep the poor people down is give them cheap food that like makes them happy and like have like disposable entertainment like iPhones and things that like, you know, little mobile games and stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Give him the opiate. That's what I thought would have been the more realistic thing about district shithole, whatever they lived in. Was it 12? Maybe it was 12, I don't know, the far off one. But rather than being like, you have to hunt for your food, it just- 12, it was 12. It doesn't matter. It's a number!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I didn't see the last movie though. I just did not care to see it. I was like, this didn't need to be two movies.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Real cojones, some balls, to do what we thought they were gonna do with Game of Thrones this season, which was gonna be all flashbacks. They're kind of doing it, they're actually doing it. They're doing it the right way though.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] 99% flashback. And I love when people do that, like I kinda, I wanna, uh, X-Men First Class kinda did this, but I would love to see a Avengers movie where they go, let's hit the brakes, let's go back, and then this is why I love Half-Blood Prince, cause I thought that movie would've been awesome if they would've done it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, and you do that kinda like what Game of Thrones is doing, what Wizarding Glass does, and...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Stephen King. Yeaah. And then, well, that was the thing that clicked for me. I went, oh, he's an adult now. Like, he wrote Gunslinger when he was a kid, when he was like, he went and saw The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly, and was reading Lord of the Rings, and he was like Terminator, NDA. I could do both.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Someone threw that out there, where they're like, they should do a Stephen King, uh, universe, universe thing. Because it all, it all is there, yeaah. Because like, you could do a stand movie, and you could do, uh, Dark Tower, yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No. Yeah, it's not very, like, even like the creature it is supposed to be, like, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's like a disciple of the Crimson King, which is from Dark Tower. I'm like, that's fucking cool. Or like even the creatures from the Mist are mentioned in the Dark Tower. Like the lobstrosities and stuff are there. I don't know. Anyway, sorry, I got into a weird mirror tour.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What kind of person are you? Do you watch the Wolf of Wall Street and go, I wish I was that guy? Or do you go, wow, what a sad life. What an asshole. What a sad life. Because I think a lot of people walked out of the theater and went like, I want that.


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[Assistant] You're like, did, did you, okay. That's why it's a good movie.


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[Assistant] We're leaving lunch the other day and then Lawrence just pulls out his phone and he's reading a change.org petition of saying like, we, we want to change the fact that Hollywood is being influenced. Corrupt. Or corrupted by these reviewers who, just because a movie's not made by the studio marvel that they have to be reviewed poorly. We're tired of it. And it's like, what?


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[Assistant] Everyone thinks you have two options if anything is presented to you. Get mad about it or love it.


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[Assistant] But instead everyone's like, fuck Ghostbusters, ooh Ghostbusters, that went up in the search terms, like oh SEO, now it's going up. You're just creating awareness. That's true.


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[Assistant] So Bruce and I kinda had a moment where, so it's the same director as Spy, which was a terrible trailer.


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[Assistant] You know, or, uh, what's another Bill Murray movie? I don't know. Garfield.


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[Assistant] Oh yeaah, okay, yeaah, so say Spy was called Caddyshack, people would have gotten even more mad and been like, oh my god, they ruined it. They ruined Caddyshack, yeaah. So this is, we were talking about this yesterday, but Ghostbusters...


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[Assistant] The problem going against Ghostbusters right now has the Cloverfield thing going on with it, where it's like, they probably could have just called it whatever they want, just done a completely different movie, but the problem is, they're like, well we need this


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[Assistant] Uhm, but she was actually pretty good in Spy, so I'm like...


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[Assistant] I don't, well the thing is, I'm probably not gonna go see it in theaters. Ghostbusters? Oh, definitely. I don't know, I mean, the thing is, I'm just not one of those, I'm not one of those who believe that because this movie comes out, the government's gonna come into my house and take my DVD copy of Ghostbusters away from me. The movie will always exist.


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[Assistant] You gotta fix Bruce's finger. I'm kinda doing that, yea. You shouldn't blindly just go follow this reviewer and go, hm.


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[Assistant] Uh, eloquent way and says why he doesn't feel why this game is the best game ever made. I go, okay, I feel the same way. So I'm probably gonna trust what he says about Uncharted. But if James sits there and just talks about how Last of Us is the best game ever and I don't agree with him, why would I watch anything he has to say about anything else?


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[Assistant] Everyone loves what they hate. So sorry guys, real quick.


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[Assistant] Is that what the, uh, the man told you at the discount tuxedo shop we went to? What discount tuxedo? Oh, tuxedo junction? They just expanded!


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[Assistant] Yeah, so I'm just like, it's not worth taking up that space when I need, I need certain things on there for work. And I'm just like, eh, and like, the four songs I can keep on there.


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[Assistant] I haven't seen the gameplay other than you guys throwing balls that never works, uh, that runs at 4 frames a second. But when you fight- Turn off the AR stuff. That makes it run a lot better. When you fight the gym trainers or whatever- That's the worst part of the whole game. You tap, you tap the screen, right? It's the worst, it's the worst part of the whole game. So that's the thing that bugs me is like, I was never into Pokemon, I had a younger brother who was into it, everything okay?


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[Assistant] I was just saying, my younger brother played it, and I was never into Pokemon, but I saw how he played it, and I got it. It's rock, paper, scissors, but it's like a very easy to learn RPG, and I always kind of dug that, where I'm like, okay, Blastoise works against Charizard because water versus fire. Easy, done, plants, rocks, totally, I get it.


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[Assistant] It sucks that you tap your screen on this to do it and there's, the part that made Pokemon interesting to me as a game is not part of the game. That's still there.


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[Assistant] What was the game? Ingress? Yea. It's just Ingress. Did you do that as well? Yea. You tapped? That's why.


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[Assistant] Oh yeaah, yeaah. And that's, like, uh, You guys needed to do it yesterday because we were running a long time, but I tried out Raw Data. That's right. The new VR game, where you're basically either a gun kata man or a ninja sword man, but, um,


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[Assistant] So like most games, when you, when you're doing VR, your right hand is like a weapon, your left hand is like move. But they do that thing where you like point, you like uhm, it'll make a little laser and then it'll be like a circle and you'll just warp there. You can go there, right? But this game you dash. So you feel like a ninja just moving faster, you're just moving, moving, moving.


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[Assistant] Uhm, kind of, yeaah. The ninja's hard to use, but like...


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[Assistant] You duck behind stuff, you do that like, once you blend something like that, and Pokemon Go where it is an AR thing where you're running around like, this room jumping over stuff, dodging where this becomes cover,


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[Assistant] Because like, in the game, cover is like constantly moving and like, uh, it's sort of like a feels procedural but like, like columns will just come up so now it's like, oh, new cover, I'll use this, move around.


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[Assistant] But like, once we get to that point where you're just in a room and it's just a kill room, and it's like the danger room from X-Men, then it's like, gonna be pretty badass. So yes, we're getting there.


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[Assistant] I mean, from what I heard too, Nintendo didn't even make this game. Oh no, yeaah. Niantic. Niantic Pokemon Company. They're part owners of Pokemon. Oh yeaah, but we were researching this. Yeaah, it gets weird. This Pokemon rabbit hole goes down pretty far. This is our JFK. We're gonna dig into this.


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[Assistant] I did a little bit of streaming last night and it was funny. It's like, I'm much like the movie theater thing. It used to be Genji but now it's Hanzo. If I see a Hanzo in a match, I'm like, we're gonna lose.


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[Assistant] No, no, I'm like, I was trying, but it's like, it goes with you guys, it's fine. Cause then it's like, I can communicate with you and all that. But then I was just like, I'm just gonna switch. And so, the guy who's playing Hanzo is like, he's like, why would you switch off? And I'm like,


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[Assistant] You got here last. We were gonna lose if we had two snipers. I'm like, then why don't you switch? And he goes,


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[Assistant] With Mercy, it's less about, like, standing near Papa Roadhog and being like, protect me, because they're gonna get in on you and he's not gonna be fast enough, so what you basically need to do is be like, hey guys, just spread out.


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[Assistant] Well it went up, what is it, the video went up the same day as Hitman? Yeah. Is that what happened? And I, I liked the comments, they're like, less Overwatch, more Hitman. I was like, but wait. That was the one comment. They went up the same day. I guess I got upvoted a lot.