[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's not true, they sponsor by ESPN and they probably broadcast this stupid shit on ESPN. I mean ESPN like 4 or 5. Well whatever, still a television.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That old man seems to be a combat juggler. This isn't really combat juggling.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That guy's wearing checkered shorts. Hero. I changed my vote.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So you can vote or not vote, it doesn't matter.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What a, close that tab forever. It is the purest. It still is the purest and we all know it. We all know it. Yeaah, it's innocent.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We're not gonna wear that poppy or whatever. That's not what this, that's not for this. It's for remembrance day. You guys have two days where you remember people? And they're both on Memorial Day? No, no. Who's Victoria for?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'll blow your mind too. It doesn't- if you don't have the legendary Jazzman, uh, Jazzman Carruthers Lucio skin, you can still play as the character Lucio. No.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's a visual and slight audio change to the character.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Can we start criticizing games for whether or not their fun games?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Here's the thing though, Jeff Kaplan, because they are very transparent, uhm, as a group at least, as a development team, has said in the past that just because you missed it one time doesn't mean it's locked out forever. So, yes, if you want to get all of the things in three weeks, you may need to play it like that. If you want to get it over the course of two years,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Maybe you play it less. I mean, like, they haven't said definitively, oh, by the way, like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's gone forever, sorry. Goodbye. I'm sure they could do that with some skins, like pre-order skins and stuff like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So the problem is they're also all weird engineer math people, so they'll say something like, we understand your concerns and so we decided to raise the odds, uh, 2.75%.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, of legendary tiers at least. It's just always so frustrating to get the same legendary again and again. Like I've gotten Winston's Safari like a hundred times and there's a certain excitement that comes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When you see- There was a sprint button, sorry. What's the sprint button? Uh, X. X. Yeah, hold on. Uhm, there's a certain excitement that comes when you see the poof, and the yellow, and you're like ooooh, and then it lands. It's the same. And then you're like, ugh, have that one, and then I have all of the four, like that's, that's always kind of just like a, I think that's-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Fighting against the feeling that they're trying to make you have when you're opening those loot boxes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They could maybe sell more loot boxes. I always try and think about the business for a second. They could maybe sell more loot boxes if they sold it a little bit better. If it was like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, so, so this is when the puzzles are, like, speed based.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'll say yea, so like when you get, what is it, 250 for a dupe, ledge, legendary, and uh, regular legendary costs 1000, but all the special event legendaries cost 3000, you're like, that gets me nowhere close.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, no it really does. I sometimes I feel bad for them because like I saw the D.Va rockabilly and then I thought there is an artist who went through and rockabillied basically all of the Overwatch characters and I'm sure somewhere not necessarily that artist but someone's going


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I hope they, I hope they compensated that person for it. You know, I hope they compensated that person for it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I'm just saying, whereas on the Overwatch development team, like someone had sketched that out three years ago, you know, and then it had to be textured and modeled and then rigged and all these things happen and then, but then they saw that go up and they're like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm glad that they're excited about this, but god damn it, god damn it, we thought this was going to be so cool.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Rocket dude. It was rocket dude, yeaah. Rocket man. Then she became rocket queen, which I like, because it reminds me of Bomb King.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He was gonna be based on a wilder beast. They did a whole thing about all the secrets behind all the different characters and stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, I like it. It gets me every single time, so uhm, make worse skins so I pay less money into the game.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've also, I've played uhm, mobile games for a while now. One especially that deals in, that deals in rarity and such. And I, if I could take something from Marvel Puzzle Quest, it would be cool if you could favorite, favorite a skin.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What if you could buy, what if there were a whole host of different loot boxes you could buy? As opposed to numbers, you could buy D.Va boxes. And all the items are D.Va items or something, or they're grouped.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] These are, these are consumer centric changes. I think they figured out the system, which is why we're playing it and why we keep buying, or I keep buying boxes. So I think they figured out the system. These are just purely for the consumer ways that I could see it improved and would make me happy, but I understand if they don't go with it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Some things, some things I'll chat, but if it's something I actually want to watch, like something that I'm invested in, someone playing a game I want to see, or if I'm impressed with what's happening,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Then I will, uh, always get rid of the chat, unless it's like salty bets and half the entertainment comes from the chat.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The Twitch culture aspect almost happens because there's less people talking. It feels like, it feels like when you get really good memes going, there's 500 people in the chat or something like that. And when I'm watching a stream, it's like, there's 500, maybe 200, 500 people there and they're all, they all got on something and they're all on the same page.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sometimes streaming on YouTube, when you watch those streams, they'll have- There's so much. 5,000 people, and then it's, it's just, it's just blocks of text, and then there's no way to even read it, so chat isn't even reading chat, and it's just tough.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If Bruce was right about one thing, you would ask me, 10 years ago I would have said, it's gonna be about Seaman. It's gonna be about Seaman.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you want, if you want, okay. Otherwise, I was saying to the viewer, if they don't want to see spoilers for the game.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, it was, games before this were all Sonic and doing cool stuff and gathering gems and blowing up stuff and shooting things and then Seaman was a different kind of game and I remember going, nope.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cman 2 was the top selling game during the weeks of its release in Japan.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't like how Seaman misinforms people about how evolution works. That's my biggest complaint about the game.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think Bruce's Birdman. Is he still Seaman if he doesn't spend any time in the sea? Wait a minute.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I like reading comments about how, like, perverted the concept of hardnetting has become. And while I agree with them, I would never go on the internet and voice my concerns.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's just, you can't argue with the fact that it's something Lawrence came up with and then thus determines all of the criteria for. So when you on the internet are shouting through text, whatever it is,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] She flexed so much the textures came off. No, that's her flexing. That's how they show the flexing. So there's vascularity and there's non-vascularity, so when they're flexing it pops in the texture.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, but if you get the pump going enough, it's gonna pop out those veins no matter where they are.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] See, but now it's not- bodybuilding isn't all about size. It's about symmetry. Alright? It's about shape.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Beautiful. Aww, look at you. Aww, maybe she's just the announcer, the pathetic, shitty-bodied announcer. She must feel so, so embarrassed. Oh, did you see the head pop in back there?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Or something like that. Which is the best thing I've ever seen in a job description ever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Did she just fart? No, she's ripping up the tree. See how they seamlessly changed it from a tree that was rooted to a tree that was not rooted so you didn't notice because your eye doesn't see that fast.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Beef stew day in Australia, and then rain day in the Amazon. I guess it'd probably be Victoria Day in England too, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I know, but there's three dudes right there, just be like, hey, would you like to play with me? They already said no.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're like, Jodie Foster, I know you so well. What if I killed John Lennon for you? Thoughts?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well now we live in this age of personality where you're seeing a bunch of people who can't make it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The animal is more scared of you than you are of them. Everyone else has the same exact anxiety problems that you're dealing with right now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're just hiding it better. That's all it really is. Every time you're in a room talking to someone, they're thinking, oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck, did I put on deodorant? Did I brush my teeth? And you're thinking, oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck, what if they know about that one time of that one dumb thing I did when I was 14.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, real quick, because I think you can probably agree with me on this, Lawrence. If, Lawrence, if you and I were both probably 10 or 15 years younger? You wouldn't talk to anyone. No, we would, well, because this weekend I didn't go outside.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I stayed indoors and I played dead cells and pray and I was like, this is the happiest I've ever been. But then I realized it's like being in Vegas for too long. I realized I'm like, if I go over three days, then I get a little weirded out and I'm like, I need to go out and do something.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But if you and I were younger, we probably wouldn't have friends because I think you and I are similar in that way. But, um, we were, we were born at a certain time where we were forced to go out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so we kind of learn the social interactions, but I think, I think things like packs and like RTX and those sort of things would be, or like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Waiting in line at the Starbucks and you're like, man, I didn't get that last Star Lord cover. He's like, the fuck did you say to me? You're like, next.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, the ultimate cheat code to any social situation is, uh, once again, I'm saying you kind of have to know the person better than, you know, know yourself, uh, whatever, but the, um, it's the same thing as everyone else. Everyone just wants to be asked questions. So you never ask them like, hey, what do you do for work? It's sort of like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You go on vacation recently or like, you going anywhere? What's your hobby? Like ask them what people are into and just ask a lot of questions and then listen and then you find the next pronoun that they say and go, oh wow, that thing. I would like to hear more about that thing. And that's all you do. Like it's, it's not hard.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But it is, it is actually really hard because for you got to stop giving a shit about yourself for five minutes. And that's tough because we're all very selfish and that's how we've survived this long.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's practicing your serve, jeez. He's either a billionaire or he's unemployed.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, how? How, I ask? Do you think we could play volleyball on livestream it?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, so I think what we do is we have one person stand by at the office, because you can't get internet anywhere else. Alright. And then you just watch this feed. Oh, okay. And then you let us know when we get there, okay, Matt?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's the same success story as Shenmue. And, uh, Banjo-Kazooie.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, no, I'm guessing I'm, I think you might get an announcement at E3.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it's like we have replicators, it just takes a day. We both went to that like, like whatever, Indicade. Yeah, yeah. He gave me a piece of a clock.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, it's still on my keychain to this day. Will, right there? Perfect. He does a weird thing where he takes apart, he takes, you didn't get a piece?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Something he's into. He's a genius. What a creator. Absolutely. He's absolutely, truly.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Can you scroll down and see anything about them being like white supremacists?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's a trick. Yep. We've been fooled.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Adam James. Knees. Okay. Elise said it so, so much more beautifully than I ever could. Very well.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I keep telling you, if you throw in man who transforms himself into a horse via Photoshop over 15 comic book spread, you've got a contender on your hands here.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, okay, yeaah. I mean, that, that's a whole thing onto itself. People turning themselves into things, or, uh, pictures of, uh, dragons fucking cars.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just like, just go away already. I saw a video once where a guy interviewed a porn star with the video. This close thing is asking a really detailed questions of like, so how much do you like anal? She's like, I don't want to do this interview anymore. It's like answer the question. You have to.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh yeaah, I think I'm out. They, they, they shatter the illusion for me. How so? What illusion? The illusion of, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, well no, I never thought that. It's just that the little, the rabbit you're chasing down the track was closer before and now it's getting further away.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Welcome to a, uh, welcome to a fleeting Bollywood soup. You think you're gonna get that rabbit, then you don't. But then Joel comes back.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm your host, Lawrence, and I'm joined by special guest Joel Rubin. Hello Joel. It's me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then a bunch of boring people. Uh, Bruce. Hey Bruce. Adam. Hey James. How are you? Hi, it's me. And Alyssa's in the background typing away on stuff. What's poppin'? Hey. Uh, today's podcast is brought to you by Blue Apron and Video Blocks. Uh, you can check out this week's Blue Apron menu and get your first three emails for free with free shipping. We're going to blueapron.com slash soup.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And you can go to graphicstock.com slash dudesoup or click the link, click the link in the description. It's your free seven day trial. Download whatever you want. That's pretty cool. Pretty cool sponsor. We actually use it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Since we're going, and just for the sake of audio, uh, listeners, because we're on old podcast format, we're playing everything, a video game, the code for which was given to us by PR, so, uh, full disclosure and all that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Good answer. It's uh, it plays into perhaps a-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, you wanna get right into it? Well, there the horse goes, rotating around. Uhm, I don't know, I figured you guys could banter a little bit with Joel first, you know how you guys do with your banters.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Classic Joel, falling upwards. Oh yea, speaking of falling upwards, perhaps for a bit of history, maybe for newer Funhaus fans that don't know this glorious man. What? I was gonna say maybe man.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah, oh boy. Well yeaah, I think that Joel, I'm gonna, I'm gonna attempt to turn everything you say into something really philosophically deep. Oooh, well we are playing everything.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. Joel, would you say that your deep meaning is sometimes accomplishment is a gift you have to give yourself?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, Joel, I'd be remiss if I didn't hold your feet to the fire. At least 20 people tweeted at you and told you to get- to come back to Funhaus. At least. Why, uh, why didn't you, Joel? Why did you break the dreams of all the children on the internet?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well that might explain it. But, I mean, I guess people are probably gonna want like a serious answer.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's weird. There was a lot of, there was a lot of battered housewife stuff going on when we first joined Rooster Teeth. It was, it was kinda weird to be in that position.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know. Probably something important. Let me talk to him.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We'll get to that in just a moment. Yup, go ahead and read now. Uh, if YouTube's taking your ad money, stop wasting your money at the grocery store on food like a normal human. Get your food on the internet.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause YouTube proved that, there's no problem with that. Uhh, this podcast is sponsored by Blue Apron.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, we've been sponsored by Bluerprint so much that at this point it's a... I try to come up with a new conversation topic every time. I've already exhausted all of their ad points, so I'm gonna come up with my own.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've been doing, uh, blow open for about a year now and I'm getting to the, I'm getting to that point where like I'm getting kind of good at cooking and not just the, not just the like cook things right kind of way, but in the like, now I, now I know what order to do stuff in and I know what state the kitchen has to be in so I can cook efficiently.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Little stuff like, probably shouldn't have dishes in the sink, or the dishwasher when you start cooking. So whenever I like dirty a dish, I can just rinse it in the sink, put it right in the dishwasher, and now when I finish cooking, like the kitchen's already clean, cause I do it bit by bit as I go. Instead of just leaving a huge mess and having to deal with it later, so. That could be you!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Listener, somebody with a clean kitchen and food to eat. And since they requested that we focus on the new menu, here it is! You can have spinach and fresh mozzarella pizza with olives, bell peppers, and ricotta salata.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, sweet and sour salmon with bok choy, carrot, and ginger fried rice. Parmesan crusted chicken with creamy fettuccine and roasted broccoli. Or baby broccoli and fontina paninis with hard boiled egg and arugula salad.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So if that sounds appetizing to you, you can check out this week's menu and get your first three meals for free with free shipping by going to blueapron.com slash soup. Once more, that's blueapron.com slash soup. Thank you Blue Apron for all your delicious foods and for getting me handy enough with kitchen appliances that I can feel somewhat mastered in the kitchen. Shits meditative, man. I like cooking.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm probably back on the drink train. Not, not intensely. I still have maybe another 20 pounds to lose. I don't know man, it's, it's fighting me though. Also I haven't been able to really like go to the gym or anything like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I'm, I'm, I am a clutch of trees that is migrating around. But yeah, Joel, on the subject of, uh, of YouTube, I, wait, man, we've been on the YouTube Tear on Dude Soup, and I don't, I don't wanna keep dipping into it, but, there was a New York Times article that prompted an interesting thought that-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Nope, this is something else. This is about, uh, basically covering the YouTube adpocalypse, I guess, as it's being referred to. Here's some interesting selections from this article. If you want to read the full thing, there's a link in the description.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, so, this is, it, the story is introduced by somebody who started a political talk show on YouTube. The, uh, David Pakman show. Uh, and then here's an excerpt, uh, quote,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, quote, I have no boss above me, Mr. David Pakman said. And because of YouTube's automated ad systems, quote, I've never had any contact with advertisers, so it's impossible for me to sell out to satisfy them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's an interesting idea, uh, but then the article goes on to say, instead, he's subject to the whims of the algorithm. To reign in its sprawling video empire, 400 hours of videos are uploaded to the platform every minute. YouTube uses machine learning systems that can't always discern context or dis- or distinguish commentary or humor from hate speech.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So to me what that says is, Mr. Pacman, and all of us actually, well with the exception of Joel who got out of the YouTube game,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We do have a boss. And it's a robot. It's a robot that nobody really understands. Uhm, and to me, that's like, everybody's kind of wondering, you know, if robots take over, what will it look like? Seems like we kind of already put a robot.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Very world-altering decisions, uh, in the sense of like, our, our revenue's getting jacked with and so are a lot of people. So, to me it's one of those, maybe we're more in the future than we think we are. Uh, Joel, what are your, what are your deep thoughts on the matter?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, uh. Agendas, Bruce. Much like how in everything we've zoomed out to planetary scale, we've also done that with this conversation. But let's, let's take it back down to the bug level. Let's say that you're, uh, maybe shouldn't have said the word bug, but.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, and for that, you should check out graphicstock.com.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, this is actually a resource that we use, uh, Richard Heath actually has a, I guess some kind of deal worked out with. There's a whole video, or a whole group of, uh, of resources that are attached to graphic stock. There's like video blocks and audio blocks. We use that stuff in our videos all the time. So, you get on there, you might see a choice picture or two that has been re-appropriated in probably a less than savory way.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But, uh, GraphicsDoc has the largest unlimited download library of graphics photos, vectors, and illustrations. With more than 350,000 images and growing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You might be tempted to just yank whatever you want off of Google Image Search. You could do that. We've certainly done it before, but, uh, the more legitimate you get, the more money you start earning on your media. Probably a good idea to go legitimate, and graphic stock is a great way to do that. And here's the cool part.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Everything you get from graphic stock while you have an active, uh, profile is yours forever. So it's like a, it's a license and perpetuity to use for whatever you want forever. So even


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So we're offering you a seven day trial. Whatever you download during that seven day trial is, you have the rights to use that forever. Uh, so you can go to graphicsdoc.com slash dude soup or click the link in the description below to start downloading your graphics today for, with a free seven day trial. And once again, everything you download during that seven days is yours.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, that's GraphicsDoc, G-R-A-P-H-I-C-S.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sign up for your 7 day trial, download everything you can possibly get.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Start photoshopping them into, uh, interesting scenarios involving funhouse members. Uh, or, hey, whatever else you want to do with those sweet, sweet graphics. Uh, but thank you GraphicsDoc for your, uh, for your sponsorship. We're, uh, I'm personally a fan.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've used a lot of your sound effects in video. I've been using it for years. Yeaah. For years. And it's a good resource. It definitely gives us enough to work with.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, yeah. It's kind of like, uhm, you might get away with uploading and monetizing something specifically on YouTube right now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Maybe that company is just not aware that they own all the rights to those things, cause I've, I put a bunch of junk in my personal uploads and stuff. And years after the fact, content claims will roll in from the actual copyright holder that just didn't file it before. So yea, the cleaner you can make your media, the more future-proof it is, for sure.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But uh, Joel, as a man who enjoys the finer things, art.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, there was a bit of a dust-up, and it's a little game-related, but it mostly relates to games kind of being newer media and maybe not quite as respected in artistic circles. Essentially the authors of The Witcher books and the Metro 2033 books


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We kind of had a little snitfit against each other about the relative quality of the mediums of like written literature, video games, things like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That was the original novel, uh, and then there were other books, but they didn't follow the same character.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm sorry. The Polish guy who wrote The Witcher. Yeah, Sapkowski. He wrote The Witcher. He's probably your cousin. He's kind of, he's a salty old asshole, and I appreciate that. I empathize with him, even though I think he's dead wrong about video games, which we'll get to.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, in a minute. Yeah, nobody is here, right? Uh, so he says, to quote, uh, Kipling, I think, he says quote, literature and video games are like east and west.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's nothing wrong with adapting books into a different medium, but you can't say that it's all in the same boat.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It works differently. How much substance can there be in the lines of text when the hero walks through the woods and talks to a squirrel? Where is the literature in that? Where is the room for depth or sophisticated language in which games could elevate culture? There's none.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, and this is, this is via a article on Waypoint, in which the author went to both of these, these other authors and asked them for their inputs. Basically, uh, the author of The Witcher,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Phil's a, Phil's a warrior. So, uh, he, not to make him sound too demonic, again, he's just kind of an angry old man, it seems like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] All the benefits CD Projekt Red receives for it are absolutely well earned. I have nothing against video games in general. I have nothing against the people who play them, even if I don't and never will. The whole animas- animosity started when the game began to spoil my market.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Did he say the other way? Uh, Heath, Heath is upset now that...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think his point is that the games have ruined the concept of The Witcher, so when somebody sees a book they think of the game and, well, okay, so this is what- I guess it talks about the Reach. He says, I wrote the first Witcher story 30 years ago. When I came into my author meetings, there's no one in the audience close to my age. I'm 69. There's no one. Kids everywhere.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How are some of them supposed to know, especially in Germany, Spain, or the US, that my books are not game related? That I'm not writing books based on games?


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[Assistant] Which one had some good things about it. It was a little rough.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I think he's upset that the games have turned readers away. So, so, I'll just read it. Readers away? I'm only game readers. Just here, there's just two quotes that may help, maybe.


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[Assistant] So, uh, quote, the belief, widely spread by CD Projekt Red, that the games made me popular outside of Poland is completely false. I made the games, I made the games popular. All of my translations in the West, including the English one, were published before the first game. And then, uh, so he's on record for claiming that every reader he gained thanks to the success of the games, he lost another.


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[Assistant] Uh, they question him about that, cause he said that before, I guess. He says, quote, I think the result would be about equal, yes. If anything, there are more people who have played the games because they read the books. That's my count, but I'm not sure. I never did anything like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, what's funny is they then took it to, uh, let's see here. Uh, Dimitri Glukhovski.


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[Assistant] Yeah, Metro 23-3 author, Dmitry Glukhovsky, uh, says, quote, I think that he's totally wrong and that he's an arrogant motherfucker. Oh boy. Wow. He's yelling at the other author? Yeah, basically just responding directly to him.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This got people hooked. He would remain a local Eastern European phenomenon without this, but he would never break into the West and the same goes for my Metro books.


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[Assistant] He put out Metro 2033 when he was 17, I think. Yeah, and what's really cool is he's also sort of...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just sort of gives the Metro license away. People will like say, hey I have this idea for a story in the Metro universe. He's like, well you got it. Now your book is like Metro branded, just sell it. Uhm, he says quote, I'm already part of the generation that has not judged video games as poor entertainment.


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[Assistant] It can easily be a piece of art depending on who's creating it, what his talent is. It can be utter trash, but it can also be a piece of art.


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[Assistant] It's, it reminds me of, uh, Roger Ebert caught a lot of shit for saying games weren't art a while back. He, he later rolled, like rolled back on it and explained himself and largely he's saying the same thing that you guys are kind of inferring here is that a game due to the nature of it being interactive can't sell a creator's vision. Like the interactivity means that


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] His argument was the interactivity means you can never craft a narrative.


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[Assistant] Which is kinda true. The two, the two are sort of opposed. I think it's harder to craft a narrative in a video game.


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[Assistant] Yeah, there's a kind of a meta-sharing though. It's kind of the Dark Souls thing too, where you can share around the water cooler what, uh, what your experience was. So, we, uh, we gotta, gotta go on to Hardinettin here. Oh, Joel.


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[Assistant] Essentially, uh, so, for the sake of Joel and for the entire audience, what- Can I get a hack by cigarettes?


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[Assistant] What we intend to do with Hardnet is celebrate all the wondrous things that the internet has done for the human race.


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[Assistant] Uh, maybe a lot of bad things, but you know what? It's also brought people together. Okay. And given people a microphone to share their love with the world. Sure. So it is to explore how the internet gives us a lens to view humanity and all the strange things that that might do. It's never to mock! Let me make that clear. No! Celebrating!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Big knees on women. Okay. And then, uh, let's see here. Oh yeaah. So this is a bit an oldie, but it's a goodie. It was recommended to me by somebody on Twitter, I'm sorry.


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[Assistant] That was just one of many strange videos that he had. What does this gentleman do? So this is Mr. Benjamin Bennett, uh, for four hours at a time. He sits in the corner of a room and smiles at his, uh, at his camera. That's the perfect channel, by the way.


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[Assistant] Click on this most recent one here. Setting up the old camera there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No editing, I like it. Oh, he's getting some good views. He is getting some good views.


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[Assistant] Yeah, it's, it's interesting if you scroll through the thumbnails of the timeline, you like, it'll slouch and then straighten up. Can you please take me the about page? We got a little vest going on here, what is this?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] SittingAndSmiling.com. Oh, well let's go. Let's go now. Google Plus. A little Google Plus link there, that's a good thing.


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[Assistant] Uh, Joel, you go last, man of honor, because these typically come down to the wire. James, what do you think?


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[Assistant] I didn't think, uh, I didn't think he was gonna DC Big Knee Locker so quickly.


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[Assistant] They cost a lot. I think, unfortunately, Big Knee Lover has probably been driven to ground. He, uh, not because of us.


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[Assistant] It's awesome. Wow. Look at that. Aaron Hansen's knees are growing.


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[Assistant] They have had to be playing games all day, but now he was tired. This man did not like walking on top of his this home at night.


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[Assistant] This was dangerous, but he had to get home. He had been walking for a few minutes when he heard the sound of you back to it. He turned around, and there was nothing there. He was in fear now, but decided to carry on to get home. Suddenly, he heard another noise. Then, it is still made by hand back and turned around.


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[Assistant] Hello, Aaron, said the daughter. Aaron looked in amazement to see who she was. Hatsune Miku, was it? But how? Thanks for watching D2. This is great. Are those cubes on those knees?


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[Assistant] Oh, here we go. Since many of the people have been cruel about it, you do not have to be, because I found that the knee is very attractive. My art of knee will be large enough to grow the other knee. Photos on my page my knees, but not the biggest of the knee that I've seen, and I love them. If you wish, you can talk to me.


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[Assistant] Remember we have another press conference to do, Lawrence.


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[Assistant] I'm very, I'm a little tired, but we're very well. Do a sign language. Yeah. Amy, love you. Amy, miss. Amy, drink martini.


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[Assistant] I was going to say that said, I really think that there is, I think there is a satisfying ending or even another chapter in this tale and it's kind of like, you've been saying it for a while, it's like,


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[Assistant] Well, let the fans do it or let somebody else that wants to do it, do it. Uh, it doesn't have to be Valve. Um, because with a story that kind of rings true, like obviously the gameplay is.


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[Assistant] From a creator standpoint, if, like for example, we get asked all the time to make a second part or a third part of some video that did really well and everybody loved, and


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[Assistant] I do feel a certain obligation to fulfill those things, because if somebody wants it, I'd like to give it to them, and ideally do it better than the last time we did it. And I don't know if Valve ever got to the point where they're like, well, we can do this better for Half-Life 3.


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[Assistant] And maybe somebody will at some point, another developer, but, uh, um, but I mean, I, I do think that there is something out there that could be done because again, it's made by humans. What would you do? What would I do? Oh boy, I haven't thought of that.


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[Assistant] There we go, that's it, that's done. Why is that so hard, Valve? Well it's uh, like you said, I think it is true that they get together and think about gameplay before they think about the story. Which to me that makes it even more of a...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So many different things are happening. Well, we watched that, uh, fan fiction, that Half-Life. Oh man. Full Life.


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[Assistant] This is the end. End of Half-Life 3. The end. Yes, the very end of it. Remember that, uh, a lot, so many hours of gameplay and story, uh, rich gameplay and story bled up to this in this moment.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh yeah, good call. Oh, that's a great idea. What kind of music do we play in Half-Life? Space? Half-Life sounds good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, here we go. The end of Act 3 of Half-Life 3. Gordon lay almost dead in the clutches of the G-Man.


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[Assistant] The beast started to dig his claws into Gordon's belly. The talons easily cut through his armor and began to penetrate his skin. Gordon violently shook as unspeakable pain sliced through his torso.


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[Assistant] In a rage, the G-man felt a strange feeling pass over him. In seconds, the feeling was gone.


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[Assistant] A low guttural growl escaped the beast's lips as he put his focus on Alex. Then...


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[Assistant] The G-Man stood still. His eyes were wide, his mouth gaping open. He slowly looked down at his chest. A red crowbar was sticking in his heart. With Gordon Freeman pushing the hunk of metal deeper into the G-Man's chest.


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[Assistant] The creature's eyes burned deep red before turning stark white.


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[Assistant] The G-Man stood still yet again for a moment before falling onto his back. The crowbar still embedded in his chest. The G-Man had been defeated.


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[Assistant] You think that when Jean-Claude got this part, he said to himself, I'm finally an established actor because I have to play two sides of one person?


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[Assistant] James and I saw when that guy, you see when he snapped that guy's neck, he was supposed to be dead. And the guy, as he dropped him, he like blinked and his mouth moved and his smile.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. Yeah. Who? Bloodsport. He was too lean. But I don't know, I didn't know his name. Oh no, Bolo.


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[Assistant] What story? Put him down in that chair. I'm gonna start doing that when I see people.


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[Assistant] What companies own the routers and stuff like that that manage to track? There's a lot of different ones.


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[Assistant] Supposedly if you pay for a higher tier, then ideally your traffic gets prioritized, and also apparently you get rid of, you kind of get rid of the noise of all the other traffic, because if there's somebody who can't pay for Netflix streaming, then they're off the internet.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're off of that bandwidth, so then it supposedly frees up more bandwidth than people that are paying for it. Uhm, so that might be a conceivable benefit for the consumers?


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[Assistant] Like, you know, like, that's, that's people with, I think, disposable income or something like that. It's like, if they're just having trouble paying for their cable bill, they're not gonna be like, yeah, I'll pay an extra 10 bucks a month so that, you know, a low-income household can have internet. It's sort of like the, when you go to the grocery store, they don't want to donate a dollar to, you know, a children's charity, and you're like, most of the time, no.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, it's, it's kind of a, I dunno, that's, that's an interesting proposition.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I hope not. I don't, I don't ever want that. That sounds to me like, uh, when they wouldn't let, uh, poor people or lower income people read or write. I feel like the internet is something that everybody should have access to as much as they possibly can.


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[Assistant] That's gonna be a big deal, I think, if that kind of stuff happens. It's funny because...


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[Assistant] Spectrum or Comcast or whatever other huge company is like, well now you need to pay more money and all of them are like, but you're a billion dollar company, what do you need more money for?


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[Assistant] Uhm, and I think that's a valid question, uh, to ask.


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[Assistant] Well there are, I mean there are competitors, that's the thing. There aren't many, but there are.


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[Assistant] Yeah, well, yeah, they're, I mean, like, so gotcha. They're both huge companies, but they're, uh, Comcast and Time Warner are separate. Uhm, so. One of them bought the other one. Yeah, well, Time Warner bought, uh, like, Charter and a bunch of other. Yeah, yeah. Uhm, and then now they're Spectrum.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sorry, I'm just looking at the Wikipedia page. Oh yea, so Charter by Time Warner, the other way around.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well no, it's not. That's what I'm saying. Time Warner and Comcast are separate. Those are two separate...


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[Assistant] Right, exactly. That's, that's the fear. Well that's the supposedly law, there are laws, there are monopoly laws that are supposed to prevent those sorts of things.


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[Assistant] Alright! You don't know where it is yet, Omar! If Omar's not getting it, I think this is the same market that Chris Roberts tapped into for Star Citizen, a bunch of 55 year old men that have a lot of disposable income to give to a video game that's not real and buy a ship that's nowhere close to even a game for like $10,000.


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[Assistant] That's a, maybe I think that Atari has a little bit more of a leverage on the market, but maybe they don't.


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[Assistant] I think that it's, I honestly think it's something that usually goes on a Roomba. That will scan, like scan the room and tell it where to go basically.


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[Assistant] Yes, I think he's absolutely hard netting. Much harder than I think a lot of our other contestants in the past few weeks. Okay. I love Ivan. I love him.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, and we're not the only ones. Uh, I've been kind of like tweeting other creators and talking to other creators. And it seems like they've all had a very similar drop off around March 31st where it's just been...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's just a flatline of only YouTube Red.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] revenue coming in. So if you're subscribed to YouTube Red, you watch our videos, uh, we get a little money from that. And obviously there are no ads showing on those videos. That's great. Those are, it ends up making around, I want to say 20% or so of our revenue is YouTube Red.


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[Assistant] The other 80% are pre-roll ads, uhm, and obviously that's different from creator to creator, but that's for us the case. So if there are no pre-roll ads running on our content, then that means we're not making 80% of the revenue we were making just about a week ago. Uhm, so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Why? So we've talked to them a couple of times and they've sort of been like, well,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's an interesting position to be in, because obviously we have other revenue streams like from Mr. Teeth and like these ads that Lawrence have been running, stuff like that. That's good. That will also make us money.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When you lose almost an entire revenue stream that you also had, that you were counting on for the last, how long have you been doing the channel? Four years?


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[Assistant] The whole channel is blacklisted, not just a few videos. Uhm, and uh, it's, from what I can see, it's anything sex or violence. So, that's why guns, that's why anything LGBT, I've heard that just anything with the title or the word gay in it, uh, just gets immediately demonetized.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, well YouTube told us that they're worried about more screenshots like the one that was in. Was it the Wall Street Journal Awards? Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes, uhm, there was a Coke ad on that, on that, uh, and basically the screenshot wasn't a video, it's just a shot. So the worst part about it was that there was an ad running on a video that had a title with the N-word in it. Uhm, and that was the major problem. Uh, which makes sense to me. I get why YouTube wants to avoid that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If the, I mean like, it, it's, it has to be a little more content, context sensitive. Because if there's a gun, or there's a video like showing off like, oh here's the new, uh, MP5 gun or whatever, that's not offensive.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right. And so, and we also don't know what the advertisers have said to YouTube. We don't know what the advertisers have said like, don't ever run our ads ever again on anything anywhere close to that. Because they may, they may have.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, and that's, and then, like, it, also TV, subject to the same sort of thing, if, if an advertiser decided they wanted to pull all their ads off of a show or even a network, they could. Yeah. And they happens all the time. Yeah, it's happened before.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, it's just so, so right now as it stands, we're not telling anybody to take any action or anything like that. It's just more of like, like, uh, here's what's happening. So, you know, we're, we're, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Or basically I do work, or those guys, that's their only business.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, I know if I were them, I'd be pretty worried, and I'm sure they are, and I feel for them. Because, you know, like, I, I kind of know that those are singular dudes, you know, like they're just like out there on their own, busting their ass, and uh,


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[Assistant] GameWisp? GameWisp. Yeah, GameWisp. Uhm, I mean like obviously there's like Patreon and all that other stuff too. It's uh, it'll be interesting to see if that's what other creators do. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] For the other bits in, uh, Chicago, New York, and LA, we did, uhm, Lawrence in a, what was it, a gimp suit. Gimp suit. Lawrence in a gimp suit, punishing us when we died at Dark Souls. And we had Michael punishing us in a gimp suit. Which everyone thought was Lawrence. Which everyone thought was Lawrence.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then the third one we did, uh, keep talking and nobody explodes, but we basically put ourselves into like a bomb shield and then blew a fake bomb off if the bomb went off.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In New York. And that was all part of the live show. So these shows, I think we have the most, this is probably the most excited I've ever been about any stunt ever. Uh, television or otherwise. Oh yeaah. Because I finally get to live the dreams that I've always wanted to do. Uh, that we've got for these shows. So. Just being pounded by it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It only works in a live show. Yeah, no, it's gonna be great. That's the goal.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Please come out and see us. No, that's not right. What? It's uh, Rooster Teeth, uh, RoosterTeethLive.com. Oh, that's right, sorry.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Or we're constantly beating up people inside? Wait a minute, hold on, what's he trying to do?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We're trying to make us aware of bad things.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Nothing. I, I, I, nothing. I already know the answer to that question.


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[Assistant] He's not my Morrissey. He's not my Morrissey, hashtag not my Morrissey. Lawrence's hashtag my Morrissey.


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[Assistant] No, I understand it from that point of view, but here's the problem. It's what made him famous. Yeah. And so, so for me, I'm always, it's one of those things that as soon as people start doing that, they immediately forgot what made them famous.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The problem was people kept asking for it. No. Oh, okay. No, the problem was like I was doing them weeks in a row and eventually like the last week I did it.


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[Assistant] It was just a bunch of complaints about how the video didn't start until three minutes in. So I was like, okay.


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[Assistant] Davey Havoc is a fantastically accomplished musician. It has been for years and years and years. I really like AFI. They've been around long before they were even popular. Yeah, yeah. And they're fucking awesome live. They are so good live.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, uh, just from a rose. Okay. Back in 1995.


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[Assistant] I'm going to say, I'm going to say this is, what kind of man or woman would spell reptilian wrong.


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[Assistant] I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say it's a, I'm gonna say it's a Morrissey song.


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[Assistant] And it's a horrible movie. He lost his virginity, or she lost his virginity. Somebody lost their virginity.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh wow. Alright. It is more wholesome. I will say we can show this, and it's not a big deal, whereas a man kissing his dead grandma in the casket


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] 58 DA hub hasn't donated in a while. He donated every day, sometimes twice a day.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was really, really fun, number one, just to watch a professional wrestling match.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause James wears contacts. You wear contacts sometimes. Oh. Never wear contacts? Nope. Okay, so you just wear glasses. Elise wears glasses. I used to have contacts. And contacts.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I would say most of the best places I've ever worked have always been great people you work with and then there's the five or six executives on top who are like, I've got a friend who says Heroes is the next best show, we're doing that, you know.


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[Assistant] What's the funny thing, like, the whole Tech TV merger, I always see that one, like, bring back Tech TV, except, uh, what's his face, uh, Leo LaPorte. He has his own show, and he's been doing his own thing, like, Rev 3 was...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I just want the names, like why? So you can continue not watching it so that it also goes out of business? Thanks? My computer's broken, how can I get it fixed? I'll watch television.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I guess the way I like it is like Fallout got announced at last year's E3 and then came out within a few months. If Watch Dogs had done that, it would have been


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We're going to use assets that already exist, and people go, okay, instead of setting the bar here, and then the next year going, it's actually here, and then the next year going, uuuh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is a thing I've noticed with E3 and all these other shows. How many years were we, since we've known each other, I think the first time Bruce and I met, the first words out of his mouth were, Battlefront. And I was like, yea Battlefront. And all we talked about was Battlefront. And Battlefront came out and we played it for like 20 minutes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What else is out there? It's just like a weird drug mentality where it's like, what else can I stick in my body?


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[Assistant] I always thought the time constraint was the stressful part. There's the perpetual clock and you're like, I'm trying to save this person and they keep killing themselves.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I would say, like the, we were talking about this, like the Marvel movies, we were saying like, now that X-Men is out, it kind of lights a fire under Marvel's ass or Disney's ass to be like, hey, you know, Apocalypse is some cool stuff, maybe you should do some cool stuff too, that like, maybe the Quicksilver scene is like, that's pretty cool.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Rockstar more or less has been like not at E3 for a long time. They've sort of removed themselves from it. They don't need to be there. But the, uh, at the Sony press conference is when they showed off the GTA remaster. That was the first time and I remember hearing from them and then being like, yeah, we just thought it was a good time to show it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Rockstar is kind of on the fucking ball, like they're good, they're really good, especially like we streamed with them and stuff, like they pay attention more than a lot of the, as far as old school game developers go and publishers, like they're really smart. It's weird because- So yeah, who knows.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The only other one who's really done that was Bungie and Activision with Destiny, where they were like, they would go, they ran from one press conference to the other because they're like, we love everyone, whereas like other developers have been like, we have, we love Sony, we're not, well it's like, they give you more money, but.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That was the best selling Elder Scrolls of all time, so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I didn't have to rely on people. I just played by myself and I got to play as a cool, like, thief type guy and just arrow people in the back of the head. It was awesome. And then you get moderate, you get ice arrows. It's like thief. I'm done.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That looked amazing, by the way. This is all running on the Xbox 360 and PS3.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] More of us? The more of us, yeaah. Uh, yeaah, yeaah, it should be at least an ounce.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Shit, that's kind of where I'm at with Uncharted 4 right now. Like I got to a stopping point because Doom came out and then Overwatch came out and I'm like, I'm enjoying these. I was enjoying the Uncharted ride for what it was, but then I got to the point where there was like a story part where I went,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, we got Mirror's Edge early and like that was like my homework over the weekend was like play it and my gift to myself when I played enough Mirror's Edge I was like, I'm gonna wind down with a little bit of Overwatch.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's all they've released? Oh, I mean yeaah, there are actors and stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Doesn't look as good, and maybe there's some more issues with it, but you're still gonna have fun. I don't know. There were genuine moments during X-Men Apocalypse, where I was like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I enjoyed scenes in that more than Civil War. Like Civil War there were moments where I'm like, this is a slog, some of the action is like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay cool, they're gonna punch each other and it's not really gonna be that great of an action where it's like, and then X-Men is like, this is straight up like retarded comic book. Where it's just like, it's just.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's green screen and like, uh, Quicksilvers running around punching stuff. I'm like, this looks like it's ripped out of the pages of a comic book and it looks great. And then there's just other parts where I'm like, well that's stupid. But it's still enjoyable. I mean, I enjoy them in different ways.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That was the thing about Batman vs Superman, like, I remember that in the very first Hulk. Kind of a way to mask it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, but the same with like, uh, X-Men was like, it was kind of like, like dust, but it was all super hyper-stylized in CGI. Like you've seen there's a lot of shots in the trailer with Magneto like in slow motion, like throwing beams and stuff and like that all looks really good because it just looks painted. I don't know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So yeaah. I'll pick it. Yeaah. There's a lot of common threads to those things. Anyways. I guess yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So first of all, Bruce and I were playing last night. I got into a game with Joel, who invited us.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And we're in the middle of a match and we're just getting our, we're just getting fucked. And we're just like, okay, so Bruce would quit, and it would put us in a new lobby, new lobby, and then uhm, we finally got Lewis in with us, who runs the Let's Play Network, and we got into a match.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And we're all, we're on attack, we're all moving forward, and we had a Randy with us, and he goes, he's Reaper, of course.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He said, he goes, I main Reaper, I make plays with Reaper. He wrote that, and I'm just typing, uh, Jess was watching Gilmore Girls, so I'm just like, I can only type, and I just wrote, I just wrote, well I wrote, I wrote, I'm like, you're gonna, we're gonna lose, and at the end of the match, you're gonna say, we lost because of my team, and you're gonna say Reaper the entire fucking time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well then at one point he finally died and he goes, 8 and 2, where are you? And I look at me and I'm like, I was Tracer the whole time because I'm like, I gotta-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're the problem. And so then finally, uh, we switch, we switch levels and he's on the other team. And he's, he's spamming me going like, pixel, pixel, blah, blah, blah, like where are you on my team? So I just mute him like, all right, fuck it. So.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're on attack, we're on defend. It's on the level Hollywood. And I go, I know what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna go Mei.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Was, he was running up, he, I think like Bruce and I, Bruce, you had your turret up or something?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, so we had a turret in the corner and then he runs through that small room where he's running to the point and he does the, he hits Q and he's like, die, die, ice wall. And he's doing his, he wastes his ult on the wall and then the turret takes him out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I'm just, I can just see him seething. But he mains Reaper. But he mains Reaper. He makes plays. He makes plays. That means he gets play of the game when he does one ult on the right place. We were, we held them off like for most of the match and so then finally they're pushing the cart and I'm just, I'm wrecking him over, cause I'm going out of my way to kill him. And we're still doing well. Uh, he finally switched to Reinhardt. Oh! And so what do I do? Oh, a tank. I go as Reaper.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I'm Reaper, and I'm just constantly going behind them, killing them. He finally quits.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I try to flip it, and I'm like, just be positive. Be positive. I'll be like, hey, good game everyone, like, uh, we were playing last night, and I was, uhm,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] First we had the shitty reaper guy on our team and they had a, they had a pretty good Genji and I would get headshots.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I mean, even from our perspective, sitting on our, you know, ivory towers, orange couches, we're sitting there going like, yeah, of course, fall is a sure bet. Of course, you know there are people at Bethesda going,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Nails. Oh yea, no absolutely. So. If we get a close up on James it would be perfect.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, I mean like, if it's a video game and it's out in the open, then we're gonna play it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What I gathered from Robert's comments was the fact that basically he wants to make these games VR, have somebody who is a homophobe play them, and sort of break down those walls in that person's head.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, it's not, it's just sex. It's not as weird as I thought it was, maybe. That was the interpretation I got from his comments.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'd like to know sort of his tone of voice as he was saying it. Cause we've had him, I think he's been on Dudesuit before actually, Lawrence has quoted him. Uhm, I think it was from Twitch streaming.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He was very kind of outspoken and it seemed very, uh, loud about this topic. But I'd like to talk to him about it to find out how he actually feels. Cause I wasn't sure if he was being sarcastic or funny or who knows.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I agree with you Adam, I've always liked that. That's why I liked Radiator 2 before, cause like, it got everybody playing it, because it sort of, it was kind of like this taboo thing that nobody wanted to touch, or like, be like, oh I would never make a game about spanking a naked man's ass. And he did, and then it got everybody playing it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sure. I'm sure there's lots of VR gay sex too that you can go out and get just like there's VR straight sex.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There was another one that- Patrick just told us about another one that wasn't Grindr.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was like otter or it was something like that where it was like a niche of a niche.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, I- there was a- there was a- Lando is gay. There was recently- actually, that's what it was, Lando- Billy Dee Williams just said that- he was like, oh yea, uh, Billy Dee Williams and- or I'm sorry, Lando and Han were lovers. Oh, really? I was joking. He was- I think he was probably kidding, but at the same time I thought- I thought he was-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh yeaah, I mean like you can play as the Empire in a number of, and there are also novels and stuff like that that were based on like the Empire's point of view. And it always sort of like, when written that way, sort of makes sense in the sense that it's like one of those, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're like, oh well they wanna keep order, they wanna keep peace, and the rebellion's just kinda fucking that all up. So, the empire's like, no, no, like we just want everybody to be cool.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it's basically when the empire- But through control. Right, through control and fear. And so eventually they overstep their bounds and that's why the rebellion kind of steps in, which is what happens in history generally.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So uhm, yeaah, no, I'm really looking forward to playing as her, because, uh, there's lots of really cool stuff in the Empire that we don't normally get to have access to, like, uh, TIE Fighters, and like, the, the, the, I think there's a lot of new TIE Fighters and stuff like that in the game, uhm.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I thought they did that. Didn't they give you like, I thought with Battlefront, I thought they gave you like, they gave you like a weapon or something if you went to uh, Force Awakens.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, well versus the upgrades if you played a lot of, the upgrades took forever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Unlocking stuff in multiplayer games is the worst. I was not crazy about the upgrade system in Battlefront. Also, the servers were always fucking broken. I mean, I feel the same way about


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, he is definitely redhead. Keep it playing, this is fun. But he's in the, he's in the empire, so he's bad. Yeaah. I mean, that's typically the case though, redheads are typically bad.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're gonna do, they're gonna do this for every major Star Wars release. So the next one, episode 9, they'll do the same thing. It'll be Battlefront 3.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] EA should consider, they're not gonna do this, they should consider not charging $60 for the game. They should consider charging $40 or $50. They gotta charge $60, they gotta pay back that license. I know, they're gonna charge $60, but they should consider charging less, cause when I bought the game it wasn't worth the $60 for most people. Like for me it was, I played enough of it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, Jack, literally I sat down, I was like a little kid, cause Jack was sitting there and he's like, hey, I gotta record a video. You wanna watch? And he pulled the headphones off of himself and he's like, here you go. And he put them on my head and I sat down and I watched.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Did you really think, I'm glad, I was kinda like, I was like ehh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, like the Force Awakens, the first trailer I saw for Force Awakens blew me away. I was so excited about the movie when I saw that trailer, but the last Jedi trailer was like, cool, I mean like I'm gonna see the movie obviously, but it was like one of those things that was cool.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've been following it for the last couple of weeks because we tuned into it, Bethany and I tuned into it like three weeks ago, four weeks ago. It was a live stream, it was like, she's gonna get birth. And then we watched it for like 20 minutes and I was like, when the fuck is this draft coming out? How long do drafts usually take to come out of this match?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, that was in me? I'm trying to eat leaves. What's cool about the little giraffe, the little boy giraffe, it came out at like, I think it was like 6'3", 150 pounds. As a baby, as a brand new baby. Yea, it's basically James. Popped right out of there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, they like David Jaffe, but David Giraffe, right? Yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hold on, who else was assassinated or shot? Oh god. I gotta think of somebody else. Who else would want to live on a giraffe form?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, well we gotta think of a name for this stupid giraffe. Okay, maybe in the post show we'll come up with something. I'm going with giraffefk. Giraffefk is pretty good. I don't get it. What? Like JFK but giraffefk.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I would like to, well no, no, I want a feather. You want to do it to you? Yea, I'd like to try, give it a shot.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Vin doesn't realize that Charlize Theron's an actress, whereas Vin is not really an actor, he's more of a, like a superhero. Like he thinks he's a superhero. And Charlize Theron's been acting professionally for a very long time at a very very high level. And Vin Diesel's just a big muscular bald guy. So I think that's why he thinks that it meant something, cause she's good at acting.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's how much of a, oh, he looks like Chris Evans, but not as good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Be careful what you search for here. I'm telling you, Chris Evans is better. He's hotter, he's more


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is that after off topic and on the spot? This is before. It was the day before. So basically he'd gone on a 24 hour bender and now he's wondering why he's sick.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That is super incredible. That's awesome. But now that I got the genuine stuff out of the way, I have to make a joke about something, something, something Gavin there shooting slow mo guys, but it's actually just a relay race.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Here's the thing though, Bernie, I believe it, but Bruce always ignores the fact that she was probably brutally assaulted. I don't ignore that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I remember, I remember you were thinking about getting a house kind of on the hill and it would have literally been, it would have literally been like Bates Motel where our office would have been somewhere and if we walked outside we'd look up to the hill and see like the light on in your attic and a silhouette of you staring


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You can see people who have added you recently, but then it's just a scroll listing of things.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The good thing about Snapchat though is that if you don't want to, you don't have to get any feedback from anyone. So you just do whatever you want to and then you just only see the people that enjoyed it. What does that mean? Do you? You can check, you can see how many people viewed it or how many people downloaded it or whatever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Exactly, yeah, yeah, but it's all medical too. So it's like, you know, if you've ever like stumbled upon a site that has like medical, like before and after plastic surgery, and it's like, like, it doesn't look good on either side, like I don't care. It's just like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Listen, this is not gonna happen tomorrow, but I think we can get there as a society.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, the thing is they send you a bunch. Even if you get the cheapest one, you get like five razors. And then you never, I never get through them, so I always have razors. There's never, I haven't, for the last probably two years of my life, I've never been at a point where I'm like, I need more razors. Because I always have them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I do, and I have the luxury now where I'll just shave once and toss that razor, who cares, I got plenty left.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I know that sometimes when we'll be around Gavin, he'll be in a t-shirt.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like Adam is wearing, and you can see, anytime someone's in a t-shirt and you can see the hairs, yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We're in Los Angeles though, because we were in Little Tokyo this weekend, and I think there were some tourists near us, because a Tesla drove by just in the streets of downtown LA, and the guy literally went like, oh my god, look at Tesla. Really? Look at that. And I was like, wow, they must be from out of town. Yea, they're not from here.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When there was talking about like doing my Rooster Teeth stuff in LA, there is a Rooster Teeth set. It was supposed to be a Rooster Teeth podcast set over there, sitting over there, that we're just gonna use for our own things. You should absolutely do it, instead of just sitting there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He upped the value of the chair. How has it been with this whole thing? Like obviously you made the RT life about it, but like we just saw today that Jalopnik is writing about it. What have the ups and downs of your cartoon Tesla


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I've been, I've been following him for a really long time since like he started at Destructoid and Destructoid and stuff like that. He's always been a bigger than life kind of personality. Even before like the YouTube game he understood that like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's not necessarily about how well you can write a review, it's the tone with which you can present it that's more important. That's what's gonna get an audience to come back. He's always been a good writer. I, I think, I just, man.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] 7 out of 10 is not a terrible score. The American educational system ruined out of 10 ratings, which is why applying a number to something is kind of silly.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But, he's not stopping you from playing the damn game.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, it's like, what sensible person would look at all the review scores and go, 10 out of 10, 10 out of 10, 10 out of 10, 10 out of 10, 7 out of 10, and go, hmm, maybe I shouldn't. Maybe I shouldn't, you know, maybe I shouldn't get it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, I think that he does that already in his persona, so he doesn't necessarily need to give it a bad score, by the way, 7 out of 10 isn't a bad score. Uhm, to do it, if you read it, the negative things that he picks out about it are things that I kinda like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And when you do that, you as a reader, as someone who plays the medium, as someone who tries to understand it, you should just go like, oh, we value different things. Right.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh wow, in a game that's this massive, that lets you do this much, like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We value different attributes of that. And these things that I like, he doesn't like. Oh my gosh, we're different people with different outlooks on the world and especially this game.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Thus, this review doesn't apply to me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Doesn't- these people- these people are upset that he didn't like these things that I guess they liked or whatever, but it just blows my mind how you could get so pissed off. It's a weird virtual mod mentality. It's- and also, it's a review. Like, everything starts with like, this is how I feel about this. Right. Not, this is what this is.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] People are allowed their opinions. There's also been, I've been on it a lot of times where there's something that's universally loved except for me. Sure, yea. And it's like, like, you know, and I'm like, well I didn't like those things. And they go, well I did. Okay. Yea.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, I didn't. So there we go. That's basically the end of that conversation.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We had a discussion on the film podcast kind of about like the Oscars and stuff like that and how it won Best Picture and the difference between Best Picture and maybe Best Direction is I've always been trying to wrap my head around it and I feel like Best Direction is like from a technical standpoint we think you made a product that is fantastic. Best Picture being


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so, I watched Moonlight, having seen some other best pictures, not all of them, but some of the other nominations, and I was like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This doesn't seem like it was nearly as well made or captivating as some of the other ones, but I totally understand why it's important. Why it's an important film and people should see it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I had that Casablanca. I didn't see Casablanca until I was like 27 or 28 or something. And I was like, I can't watch this. It's all just scenes from other movies. But it was those scenes. But every single scene, the next scene, I was like, I've seen this scene.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Normally when Lawrence hosts, he does a segment called Hard Netting, where he competes against a champion from last week. The winner then competes against some sort of internet group or phenomenon. And then we vote to see which we think is hard netting more.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, and the current winner, I think two weeks in a row, it's a cult in Russia that worships Gadget.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't feel like doing it. It's kind of unfortunate because I thought a perfect segment would have been Hard Net and then we have the Cult of Gadget versus guys that make their Teslas look like cartoons.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We ended up with two switches. We weren't sure if we were gonna get one in time, ordered two, said F it, let's keep em because we both wanna play Zelda.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, uh, uh. This turkey's gonna be Eddie's best holiday works. It's Donkey's Christmas Shrektacular. Uh, uh, uh. But it's gonna be bumpin'.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well now Sophia, the only problem with Andy Murphy's team is how are we gonna carve it? It's gonna, it's cooked too tough. Knife ain't gonna cut through. I think I, wait, oh jeez.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Anyway, welcome to Terrifying Bullet Dudes 2. Welcome. Uh, we have a special guest. Hopefully our audio doesn't sound like shit this week.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We'll see. Doom is out, except for some reason it's hanging on the title logo. That happens. This episode is sponsored by Blue Apron, which is fucking awesome.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We'll hear more about that in a second. I have, I have many culinary adventures to share with you guys.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Which mostly, oh, there you go, it's yours now. Uh, you can, uh, go to bluripen.com slash dudesoup for a, uh, two free meals with free shipping. But, you know, we'll hear more about that in a second. Uh, so first of all,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Planes. Boy, those are scary, huh? So uhm, I've always been curious, uh, because...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Put that on! Sounds like, uh, like, what was it? What's the fuckin'... I don't know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But, equally valid for the sake of argument, uh, approaches to video game design. One is, one is pretty purely a video game experience, where it's all about mechanics, rulesets, your ability as a player to like, make decisions in a game space, and solve a challenge that is presented to you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, and then quantum break was like a really weird...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Mix of the two. I guess, I guess we can bring that up too because it kinda came out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, a month ago, two months ago. Did you play Quantum Break, Adam?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh hey, they talk about the demon dagger. Anyway, knowing, uh, knowing your, your preferences and having talked to you before and hearing you rant about The Last of Us, I can pretty much guess that you, you tend, and also based on the fact that you like Overwatch and Street Fighter too, uh, like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So that's, it's an interesting point because, you're right, Uncharted 4 has a really slow windup, but I actually kind of liked that, and to me, uhm, and I understand that this is gonna sound like I'm making excuses, but to me, I think that is embracing the freedom of games, that


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But you are correct in the sense that at the beginning, you don't really have an idea of what you're doing or why. The stakes aren't really established. Uh, like in the first level, huge action set piece, you don't know where you are or why, but you know, that's kind of the point.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then flashback, and your motivation is to still figure out what's going on, or what the nature of your relationship with your brother is, and then you go forward again, and you figure out what's going on there, you flashback again.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I do like the kind of meandering, uh, slow-paced build. Cause that's something I always enjoyed about like old school RPGs, old old school RPGs. They would take forever to get going. It's like Dragon Quest VII.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cool. Well, I mean, Charlie, that's, that's equally valid. I guess we just, just by virtue of the fact that Uncharted 4 and Doom came out this week, I kind of phrased it in terms of


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's uh, that's part of what makes me so sexually excited to go to like weird porno corners of the internet. You never know what you're gonna get, man. You come back from the dark web, you carry a lot of deep web, excuse me. The only thing is that...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But don't exhaust your fine motor skills too much because you'll still have to work those knives. Blue Apron sponsoring this episode of DudeSue.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, so blue apron is something that I've wished existed for years now. Uhm, the sad irony being it has existed for a long time and it took me until now to actually start using it, but...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, you can just hit the ground running with Blueprint. Uhm, it's pretty cool too. They, they like, they source all of their ingredients locally. It's all fresh from farm type stuff. It's all, uh, all re, renewable, sustainable. So what they say is, let's see here.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, let's see here, they bring you the best for less than $10 a meal, which is pretty good too. Uh, seasonal recipes with pre-portioned ingredients to make delicious home-cooked meals.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, artisan suppliers or artisanal suppliers, all of that word. Uh, family run farms, or family fun farms, pretty good too. Uh, fisheries and ranchers. So yea, everything they send is all natural, no GMO, all that business. Some of it might be, I guess they didn't really say specifically that it was all natural.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, oh yeaah, wait, one more anecdote, okay, gotta, gotta build this up a little bit. So maybe you're concerned that cooking takes too long, or that it's too much effort, and that it's real easy to just drive to a drive-through.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, it really doesn't take longer than getting fast food. It's much healthier.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, since all this stuff is pre-portioned, it's actually like reasonable portions, which is something I think maybe people don't understand about food as well.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, and then, it's, uh, it's cheaper too, because it's $10 or less per serving, once you, once you price it all out. So, it's...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] One of the things that I often think is like, and this hit me the first time I played The Sims, which is stupid because it's like 20 years ago, I promise this is going to lock up, but game players are so good at gaming life, or sorry, at gaming games I should say. They find out the ideal way to do things and when they play life management games and they're managing somebody,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, so, it's always been interesting to me that even though


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Gamers are really good about figuring out rules. They don't apply that to themselves. Maybe that's an unfair generalization. That's life.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You can check out this week's menu because it changes every week. Uh, get two meals free with free shipping by going to blueapron.com slash soup. Please, do it. Please, are you listening?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Nobody watches this. Except for the audio listeners. Uh, so audio listeners only.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's funny, I guess we're clear of ad read territory now, but I was actually already kind of doing that, but more wastefully and more time consuming. So what I would do is I would go on the internet, I would find like four or five recipes for the week. I'd make a shopping list and then I'd order it all from Amazon Fresh. And then I'd put out my bags. The problem is, uhm,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I just had to order in bulk, so I would have to order like a bag of carrots if I only needed one, and I'd be stuck with a lot of carrots, I'd just eat them, but whatever. Uh, so this is, it's cheaper, it's more efficient, uhm, although like the packaging is recyclable, which makes me feel good about myself, even though according to Adam, it's all a scam anyway.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because, uh, a system exclusive came out and that is apparently a call to arms for the internet to...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] An IGN reviewer gave it a less than glowing review. And people concocted the most amazing conspiracy theory that relates to somehow he overheard at a press event two years ago that somebody didn't like Total Biscuit but he liked Total Biscuit so to get back at the publisher for not


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, and yeah, and the publisher actually like came out with a statement saying, this conspiracy theory you guys have come up with is ludicrous. Oh yeah. We totally respect the reviewers' opinion. We would never like, we would never challenge that. It is, it is the outlet and the editorial like sovereignty of them to say whatever they want about the game. If they had a bad time, it is of course an


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Game review should be thoroughly objective yet again. Like this old chestnut is busting out. Uhm, and I have my own particular philosophy on like reviewing and what the role of it is. And I can get into that in a second, but I do enough of that on this podcast. So I'd like to give you guys a chance to talk about what do you think reviews are for? What do you think they should include? What is their value?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, maybe, rather it should be the goal. Uhm, maybe, maybe it's not possible, but. So, to me, the sign of an excellent reviewer, or an art critic or whatever. Well, yeaah, the sign of an excellent reviewer is one that can, one that can recommend a product to somebody.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That they don't like, but they know that other person will. So it's like I know games well enough to know that I don't like racing games.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I know the, I know the formula enough to know that this is a good racing game. And I know that people who like racing games will like it. I can't stand it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But if you, I can tell that you will. And to me, the ability to abstract your taste from your evaluation of a product and your appraisal of it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Did I say land? I meant world. You said world. Oh thank god. I mix those up all the time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, which is, which is great when you're dating a Disney fanatic. She loves that. Can't get enough of that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Could abstract their, their personal taste out and find, find a way to articulate to those who are interested in it whether or not they would like it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, it's not this, come on, come on. You have three options of things to look at while you talk about things that I will make you talk about. Here are your three options, my friends. Mainlining, a game where you are on a fake computer, Nefarious, Cutie Pie,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's, that's just how good of a host I am. You don't even know when it hits ya. Alright. Uh, today's episode is brought to you by two sponsors. 1-800-FLOWERS and Sherry's Berries. Yes, we are approaching Valentine's Day. Oh yeah! Uh, to order 18 roses for only $29.99 or upgrade to 24 roses for $10 more, you can go to 1-800-FLOWERS.COM slash DUDESOUP. 1-800-FLOWERS.COM slash DUDESOUP.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And with Valentine's Day right around the corner, we're going to get Sherry's berries starting at $19.99.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, go to Sherry's Berry, er, I think it's berries.com, and then the mic, you have to click on the mic and type in Dutsu.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'll give you more verbose instructions later. Please do.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So our first topic of today also relates to a panty party of a sort.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm just trying to use the controller. There we go. There we go. So the Year of the Rooster is going on in Overwatch. And, uh, Mei got de-stacked a little bit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sorry Winston, uh, he loves peanut butter. He doesn't have a tail. He doesn't have a tail. Uhm, but May, May was kind of the thick lady. She's a little rounder, a little plumper. Uh, but in her, uh, year of the rooster outfit, if you turn her to the side, it's pretty clear that her waist got a lot slimmer and even from the front.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, yet again, whether or not she's actually skinnier has nothing to do with the topic.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, and, in much the way that probably a lot of people identify with the various characters in Overwatch. As representative of a certain kind of person that's not represented in games much. Namely, fat ass women. Uh. I don't mean she's- She's not fat.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, uh, I guess my question to you guys is, representative of this. And yes, I realize this is a panel of mostly white dudes who probably have the most representation. How dare you. And one white lady. I'm only half white.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's a certain message of, uh, worthiness that I think is communicated, uh, that if you were never in anything because your skin color isn't right or because you-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You sound weird, uh, then that might, uh, that might make you wonder, I guess, I guess I am not appealing. People that look like me are not appealing and not worthy of representation.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, you should, absolutely. Um, and it's frustrating that a lot of people don't.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, so I guess for you guys, uhm, I won't ask you the question of is, is representation important, cause...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Frankly, I'm not sure that we have much to add to that particular conversation because it's been talked about a lot.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My question to you guys is, when you play a game, do you consider...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, your, your avatar in the game. So, in this game you are a pair of underwear.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, and, and that's clearly, you know, like, well outside of any human's normal interactions of wearing underwear. But, uhm...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So let's say if you're playing Zelda, does the fact that you are Link affect your game experience at all? When you're playing, do you think, what would Link do in this situation? Or does that kind of become an invisible thing that you sort of slip into? So now Link is just an androgynous avatar for you, who are in the world.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I could not think of anyone but Elise. I mean, it should have been Owl Girl, but yeaah. Not to override Elise, but just for some context, if you haven't played Owl Boy. Owl Boy is essentially Zelda, or Link. He doesn't talk, but they actually acknowledge that in the game. He's like in an owl village.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And everybody makes fun of him for not talking and he's kinda just like the gimp run to the litter character. So he's super pathetic. He's your classic-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, yes, classic underdog, but man, they cannot shit on him enough at the beginning of that game. So yes, I thought at least we'll empathize with this character thoroughly.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, I, yea, I realized that, uh, as a kid, I was never for want of representation in anything. Like, there was, as a self-identified, like, hyper intellectual nerdy character, you know, I had like Donatello, I had...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sorry, and I appreciated him then. Doesn't he have one of the longest runs in Mighty Morphin, in addition to the two characters?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What, uh, what originally, what originally set me on the idea of, uh, of Avatar and Agency and how, how and to what degree you consciously are aware of your character, is I was, uh,