[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Keep it real quiet. And then it's just sort of like, I love this shampoo and everything's a deep fake and an old photo. And then people are probably start questioning like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's the same photo of you, but it looks like you've been cropped out and now you're at the Bah- on the Bahamas. What? I'm confused. But-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What are they calling DC? It's elsewhere? I think that's right there. But there's like, yea, there's always like the fun one-offs, or maybe they've continued, I don't know, but like Flashpoint, I think is one of them, where Flash goes, he runs so fast, he goes back in time. What are you doing? Oh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was something where like Flash, he stops the death of his mom, or something like that, and then because of that he doesn't have any powers or anything like that. It's, it's an animated version of it, it's actually pretty good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, red sun. Oh, and then, and then that version, I think it's, uh, Bruce Wayne's parents never get killed. Instead, Bruce Wayne dies. So Thomas Wayne. Oh yeah. Except he's real angry and he just kills everyone. It's like, oh shit. That's cool.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That was a great movie detail I saw someone post that where they said, no I know it wasn't, it was garbage. They said, if you look closely you can see in, uh, Spider-Verse that, uh, Peter's got some scales on him because they're implying that he was lizard. Also moments before there's a giant, uh, shadow of him as a lizard and it's in the comic book, so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] While we're on the subject of dragging a corpse through the mud, what if we do a fun Beatles X-Men where it's like a yellow submarine, but it's the Beatles as the X-Men.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's like, imagine there was a conversation that happened back then that said, we want you guys to be the voices and the personalities of the X-Men who are in these comic books. And they also made all these crazy demands.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's an experiment. You have to be in a weird mindset to appreciate it. If you like blue meanies.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, no, I see, but there's the tag underneath, the comment, commentary left was what a Haun and Luke reunion might have been like. Sort of throwing shade at the...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You will never appease anyone when it comes to Star Wars because you get the one side, which is you're making it too similar, but then there's obviously, uh, 227 people, 227,000 people who hit a heart, you know, on Twitter, basically saying, Oh, it wouldn't have been nice if these two old men hugged.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They would have loved this. He's like, don't fucking speak for me. So, I'm dead.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There was that leaked script where it says, uh, it's like exterior day, uh, Mark Hamill, Luke, uh, wakes up from a dream and goes, wow, it was all a dream. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Rogue One made sense, cause they're like, it's like the old movies, uh, Red Letter Media said it best, they're like, it's like frosting, without, it's like getting your dessert without eating dinner, it's just, it's just fluff, it's just extra, but you're like, oh, it's there, you can still enjoy it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] For whatever reason, I can't explain it, I don't have interest. Cause I go, well it's not part of the main story. So like with Star Wars, when you say episode 9, something clicks on my brain where I go, this one means something. When you go solo, I go, pointless.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think also for this one it feels like this is an end?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The more they try to explain the Sith in Jedi, the more confusing it is. Cause they go, the Siths are about absolutes, so are we. So what's the difference? Not much.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I could see parallels there. Well, I mean, I think Ford wasn't a trained actor, right? Are we going to compare ourselves to Star Wars characters? Oh, that makes sense.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That was Salish's Krimi episode, right? No, that's fine. I hate myself for knowing that. He's also in Labyrinth. Kill me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Did you know the barista or the coffee boy in episode 2 I think it was? It was credited as Java the Hut. Which is a joke they said the whole time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, that's another one of those people who like, yeah, she, she control. Are you trying to damn her? What are you doing?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When do we get our office painted? I just sent them some swatches today. Because you cowards wouldn't give me anything.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Really long one. I was like, looking good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's sort of like how they filmed, uhm, what was that movie? The time travel one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Your mom dresses you up. Yeaah. That's awesome. Your mom is really good too. She's always encouraging, she encourages colour, cause I only have black t-shirts. So she's always like, you should wear that, it's red. Fuck off bitch.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's the problem. We've forgotten our roots. They put us in these seats and then we become not cool.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm going to. I'm going to get there. On the top is Rose. This is kind of like a Star Wars arrangement where Tops Rose and it's her very large head.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because she's the main character, but it looks like she's had Botox and also look like Momo. And below Rose is Rahul's character, but it looks like he's making this sound.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like that. Like Minecraft. Uuuh, yeaah. Because his mouth is open for some reason. He's got this really thick beard and just beautiful DSL's. Uhm, very, very nice lips. And then on the other side is Malcolm, uh, who looks like his hair is trying to leave his head. Uh, oh my god. Do you want to keep that up there the whole show?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then bottom, and then bottom middle is, uh, David Anders who looks normal. No, he looks like he's wanking.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So it sounds like to me, sounds like you're playing a game over the internet.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think that's a phone? I wanna say?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah, it's a really old, I wanna say it's a really old phone.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It'll probably be like a tiny little, you know, what is it, Netflix box? It's like a little streaming box.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And did you think the new Xbox was the 2020 is supposed to come out right? Yeah, which that also happened.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, either way, do you think it's gonna be discless? That's the question. You do. That would be really, that would be risky. I don't know that PS5's gonna be discless.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, the collector's editions now are digital, and you get digital goods. You don't get any, like, yeaah, they have the crazy Metro Exodus, you know, oil barrel or whatever, but for the most part, it's this weird, like, they're like, here's a bunch of skins for Anthem, and that's the way it goes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But then once I realized I didn't recognize anything I ever said, cause I put that in at home and tried it. Uhm, it was just like Adam, I was like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I reviewed on live, so on live was basically that streaming service long before PS Now, and I reviewed that at Attack of the Show, and I thought it was really cool. My, I gave it to my roommate who, I was like, here play like four or five hours of it, and he did, but it was laggy, and that was always the problem. I don't know if he played anything on PS Now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, but, but see, that's the, that's part of the service, right? That was the, cause like, we had an internet, uh, it was 2010, 2011, whatever, when we were playing it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, I like it. Rahul, I was gonna say Rahul doesn't want this because he already has his own personal stylist. It's a person that actually comes with him everywhere.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, like a hard drive got corrupted and you had to do like a check disk on it and stuff like that. Yeah. And because of, this was like, uh, before it was in full release. This is beta. It was the demo, yeah it was the VIP demo. Which is still not to be expected from...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, do you think Anthem uses those methods? And that's why it's been breaking PlayStation 4?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Taking up too much space. It's a resource hog. Right. It's a super hog and it's like, it's like the PC games of old. Like, uh, like, uh, Crisis. Uhm, Crisis was like a game that no computer could run. When you got it, it was like, well you had to have the best computer in the world and then even then it sort of had trouble with it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, Anthem's the same way. Anthem requires a lot of memory, a really good video card, uhm, that sort of system to run, and if you don't have it,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes, if it's bricking consoles, absolutely.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, this to me sounds like a heat issue. I know I'm not trying to solve the problem, but it sounds like a heat issue. Call for help? Cause if the game, if the game is causing heat in all those PlayStation 4s, which it probably is, then it's probably shutting down those consoles.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's right, but not like Nintendo's on Android. And then, basically PlayStation 4, Xbox, they're PCs. They're just small PCs.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, it really is. I mean, like, I've upped all the settings on Anthem on my PC. It's a 1080 Ti and a quad core. And it runs at 75 frames, which is not bad.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I like it. I mean like, I, actually Omar and I, we just played it a few days ago. You beat it. Uh, we beat it, because. You beat it? You beat it the same way you beat Destiny. Yea, because, cause Jacob, uh, Jacob had already played all the way through it. Cause he loved it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But, uh, Jacob had played all the way through it, and then we got to play Jacob's mission selects. Okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In my opinion that sounds broken, but uhm, but he was like the stronghold, the last stronghold, he'd already done.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then like, that is, that is broken. And also, also like, we didn't really have trouble doing it. Like, Jacob's obviously, you know, really high level, I'm good at it, but Omar and I didn't die very often. We just sort of just played all the way through it. Got to see the end of the game.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There you have it, there is- How's that Bio West story? There, boy, it just escaped over and over and over. Uhm, the game, the game is really fun, but the story's kinda non-existent and ridiculous and I laugh at it, it's a joke.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, it's cool. The thing is, the game is fun to play. Like, it's really fun to play. I'm not gonna recommend it to anybody. I'm not gonna tell anyone to buy this game. Because of all that bullshit, and also that it's like, it's not, it's repetitive, it's like Destiny.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, I know you don't like it, but it is a great video game. Objectively. But this one feels like-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] One was, one was it. Yeaah, that was the one I was playing. And even then I wasn't playing that because there was something else that was...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But then, yeah, Titanfall 2 just got stepped on. It sucks.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it might burn out, uh, burn out bright.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's one of those things where it's like, you're not, you're not necessarily, unless you're really good at the game, which I'm not, uhm, and I don't know that anybody is here, is really good at this video game. How's Jacob? Uh, he, Jacob doesn't usually do competitive shooters, a lot. He does, maybe that's what it is. He's too polite. I don't know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That said though, I've not seen Jake in play. Regardless, none of us are very good, so it's always a crapshoot. Like for example, John and I got into a match where we had one dude who had that brand new, uh, mirage skin, and he was just like, follow me. That's all he said, and then we just literally followed him through the whole, he just was killing people right and left, and we were just cleaning up and like looting behind him. He won us the game.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And that's what I'm saying, it's like a crapshoot where you might happen to get in with a guy that has never played before and he happened to get to second place and you're like, you know, you walk around and he's like kinda like, what am I doing? And you shoot him with it and he's dead.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, Apex is better, but Cod Blackout is the closer version of this, cause it's like, it's a first person shooter that is also a battle royale. So it's like, if you know a first person shooter, you can get in and there's no real learning curve. You just know, I have to shoot man.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, and, but then you have all the items and all that other bullshit. And Cod was really good at just being like, hey, shoot man. And you're like, alright, cool, I know what to do. Is it still being played? Is it still big? Oh, it's huge. It's doing well. It's a, oh, the game. Oh, ah!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I haven't yet, but I want to. I'm going to. I know I've resolved myself to doing it. Also, I paid for Origin Access and that gave me coins.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Blackout you're done. Blackout you can just pick stuff up and it'll just attach and it'll replace if it's better.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He plays Wraith and she is just a nightmare. If I was playing against this guy I would never win because Alfredo's constantly moving with Wraith and he's constantly using her abilities so Wraith is always moving really really fast. She's even faster with the portal and with her phase. Oh my gosh dude. Someone used Wraith really fast.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wansers wake up when they hear a woman scream, so. You're bleeding, by the way. Oh yea, you need a hemostatic patch. Yea, I got those.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I like that you could only think of five words. You're like, I'll say all the not cursed words I can think of. You said five words, two of them were darn. Yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, like that, yeah. Adam! How are things going over there in TV land?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I still don't understand what idiot would look at this and think, well I can say bitch, but at least I can say son of a bitch. Why is that even on the list? Well, no, you're right about that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What did he do? He learned Mandarin. Cause WWE wanted to expand into China and so he learned Mandarin. Now he speaks Mandarin.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, so, also I think part of it too is you can come out with this video and say, alright, here's the things, now go have fun, except you still need


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A thousand other videos for all the other rules that you have changed that you are not telling anyone about or all the different stipulations. Not that it matters anyway, because we're in a constant John Henry struggle between man and machine.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Where if they make a video and say this, then you're gonna see an influx of videos where in 31 seconds, everything's gonna hit the fan. Like, now you're just gonna have a longer header of some YouTube channel with 12 subscribers at the beginning, and then he's gonna come and go, he'll go, cock fucker shit piss everyone, thanks for tuning in, make sure to slam that bell. Like, like, it's always this struggle.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Where people, then the channel gets struck, and they go down, they fall down, just like John Henry died. By the way, he lost that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's my favorite American fable, is the story of John Henry. I barely know that. He, cause he challenges the machine. He digs a hole faster than a machine can dig a hole. But the machine wins? But like, barely, and then he dies.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's funny to watch these things that are just cesspools for the most part try and like clean their waters.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I think they have to be. Because everyone uses that platform. And if they were in touch with that platform, they would be terrible. They would be successful. I mean, like, no offense, but sometimes you have to be better than.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're coming out with this new game, and it's so simple. All you have to do is find a friend online, and the two of you can solve this puzzle together. It's in Uniting Strangers Online, and you're like, have you played a game online?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You can't be confused as to why this happens. It's because you start when you're 20-something and who gives a shit and why not work on something for 12 hours a day. Just churn out as much as you possibly can to build up an audience to try and make more money or whatever it may be. And just go crazy because who cares. And then you look in the mirror and you're in your 30s and you're like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Through the lens of the computer screen, it looks like you're living the most amazing life. Except that, like, streamers stream for 12 hours a day! Seven days a week! So they're not living. They're sitting in that chair.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] To be fair, a lot of groups are more rich


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They were just doing it all. And at a certain point you can't do it all. You can only sprint for so long.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think for as long as this whole YouTube new media thing is a business model, you will see these phases. They will, they will, you will see the rise of certain things, especially in the middle class.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Where we are, like, PewDiePie will probably be around forever because you, at a certain point, you make enough money that you can create a system in place where you can relax within the treadmill of your job. But there's a certain middle class where you're not making that much money and you don't have that much staff and you don't have that much help.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And you're still trying to get noticed and you're still working very hard every single day. But you'll see a thing as like, these young guys, he's 21 and he's a big ball energy. And then he's-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If he hasn't moved on to something more mainstream or whatever and he's like in his thirties doing it, you're gonna see this slowly. Alright guys, I gotta chill out now because I have to actually live a life or something, you know?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, yeah, I mean there's a certain, like, conceited...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Aspect of it. Like, but then there's another side where people who are making a ton of money, the doctor disrespects or whatever, they lean into it and they're like, oh, that's part of my character that I drive Ferraris.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's his character. Something about how genuine you are. I think less than how relatable you are.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, so when you have some insomnia, do you actually just lie there with your eyes wide open?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's a certain aspect of like being able to like push things.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, but I mean I'm pretty good about knowing whether I'm awake because of anxiety or I'm awake because I'm physically not tired. Like I'm pretty good at figuring out the difference between them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I also think there's an aspect of there's a difference between our system, which is...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right? And there's this huge block. It's like a, here's a prompt. It's formal. Find something you hate about the person you're writing about. And then it's this block that's like this thing and you feel compelled to fill it because like homework assignments and stuff like that. It's really formal. But you don't have to rip in. It's just about feedback.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No yeaah. But I think also if it was just a situation where you sat down and had a conversation with that person, it'd always be more productive than writing in this giant big one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's supposed to protect you because all human beings hate all human beings and never want to discuss human being nature to other human beings, so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I, I was gonna do, cause my brother and I could coordinate. Got it. And so we would be like, let's get, just get us.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, it's one of those things, the pool scraper? My best friend was a goalie. So I would always have to, like, toss back and forth practice with him. So I never actually played it, except for the one time I think I've told this story before.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] One time, all of my friends played lacrosse, but I wrestled. And so, but there was one time where one of their players was hurt.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're talking about presence, playstation, you have football gear, you got lacrosse gear.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We have some gameplays, cause again, there was a shift in 2018 where it felt like we were like, oh well what are things outside of Funhaus Channel, things that we can do that would be fun, things that are normally videos.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I feel like, you know, kind of following the path of Band Manager and The Matrix and stuff, we're like, well, how can we have fun on the channel too?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What are fun things? And so like, I know Elise has more ideas for- Oh does she? Bigger things, and we've talked about it before, and we wanted to get into 2018, we just didn't have time with everything else that happened, but there's like-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Some fun ideas that we have, because we don't want it to be like, oh, all these cool things are things that are somewhere else.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, when I signed up for the Hollywood Stock Exchange website, they also gave me a free stock.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's a great idea. It's so, it's basically it was a website that used people's celebrities and movies popularity to determine its worth compared to other celebrities. Such a great idea.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In movies or ce- or celebrities, and then you ca- would build a portfolio of value.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But for Hollywood. Gotcha. I gave you a free stock when you started. My free stock? Bill Paxton.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But think about all those times you were like, listen, that Ben Whishaw's got something. Who? Ben Whishaw!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, I'm just saying, you're like, oh, well there's this guy, he just keeps appearing in things. Or that, there's that one kid, who's that one kid now who's in everything? He was in Call Me By Your Name, and he's in every movie now? Look at that. That's his name.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know, but think about it this way, we would all potentially be penny stocks in this, if it wasn't around now, we might be on it as low value but high investment stocks.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Nothing is explained or forewarned in any way? It's interesting though because for me, uh, we were talking about this earlier and I 100% expect it to be that way. I never ever expected that they're gonna, like, someone's gonna, like, and that's the thing that it's weird to communicate because I have a lot of creator friends that were on the Machinima Network and I saw a lot of them tweeting and like, they even, we were talking about it through text.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, uh, and they're like, I can't believe they would do this, blah, blah, blah. And obviously I sympathize. I totally do, because some of that is my content.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But at the same time, I was kind of like, yeaah, they just can do that whenever they want. Uhm, and that's the way I sort of envision everything on the internet. Uh, at some point when we, with our Steam games, those are gonna get yanked. We're not gonna have Steam games anymore, we're gonna spend thousands of dollars on Steam games. And those are gonna be gone. Same with Netflix, same with Hulu, same with all other stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The thing that probably, I think everybody's discovered at one point or another if they have a job, is the stuff they do for that job lives there. So if they establish a process at that job, or if they establish an IP, an intellectual property at that job,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's the companies at that point. Uhm, and that stays there. So if you move on, ideally my only saving grace for all that stuff, like the machinima content's gone or insight gaming's gone, for me has always been hopefully the legacy's still there. So ideally people know, oh yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Bruce, related to inside gaming and machinima. Hopefully that's the thing that they'll remember. If this were 20-30 years from now, they wouldn't.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then I'd be a little hard pressed to find a job or like doing something like that that was related to inside gaming or machinima. But right now, maybe the legacy will carry over, if since I did it long enough there, like you were at IGN, everybody kind of goes, oh yea, Alana from IGN, you have that legacy now. Because you were there for three years? Yea.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It is weird. I think it's strange, uh, from an audience perspective. Uhm, but...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've experienced this many times over with television and movies and things like that, where I was, man, I loved Mystery Science Theater 3000. And there was a period of time where you couldn't watch the show. Like, it wasn't on DVD, it wasn't on the internet, it wasn't anywhere else. And I loved that show. And I had amazing memories. And if I ever thought about, I was like, you know, I really like to... Oh, I can't. You know, like, it was just like, just couldn't.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, the thing, you're right, it's a totally valid point. The thing that we used to do at G4, when we were leaving G4, was we would just go through the vault, the media vault, and like basically rip our stuff out and put it on, and burn it to a disc. Which is probably illegal? And, I mean like, I don't know that it is. It was one of those things where I was like, for personal use.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But to your point professionally, like, that was the reason we got it. It's cause professionally, if I wanted to make a reel of the stuff that I'd done at G4,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I had to have it. And I knew if I, once I left you for it, I was never getting it back.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There, like, I knew it wasn't gonna live on the internet, I knew it wasn't gonna be anywhere else, so it's like, I just had to have a hard copy of it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's kind of strange though for this because I didn't have a hard copy of those videos. There was never a hard copy. There was never a hard copy. Right, so now it's like, okay, well, hopefully, you know, at some point I can find that somewhere through whatever. You know, like, I don't know, it's not even going to exist anymore. And it may not. And hopefully my legacy will carry over enough to be like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think Machinima was a big enough company to where I think people know what it was and what it did.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Funhouse too, like funhouse is not going to live forever probably. Yeah. It probably won't be around like in ten years when you're, you know, like, cause I'm going to be super nostalgic for it too.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, that just may not be a thing that you are able to find.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know that. It's definitely in a vault somewhere even deeper now that no one can touch.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But to Lawrence's point, it's gonna be, I mean like, there is a possibility for this to live somewhere else. I think that's sort of the magic of the internet. Is that, again, if you think it's gone forever,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's a good possibility it is, but some kids probably got it too. So I don't know, I mean like, I don't know where this is gonna go, uhm, I don't know where it's gonna drop, uh, and that's kinda why, like, I tweeted that on Friday, I was like, I think they're, like, this might be something that lives on, uh, I don't know that it's gonna be gone for good. So, but the internet's very reactionary.


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[Assistant] I've thought, you know, I've thought a lot about this actually. Uhm, I'm going to say one million.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It doesn't, but I like to think about it. And the reason is, people that subscribe to Machinima live really extreme lives.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Have you ever walked into a restaurant and thought to yourself how many of these people are virgins? No.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I start, then I start analyzing people and being like, like Sherlock, Sherlock Holmesingham.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Also, you know what? You guys remember that guy in the stall? He may not have been shitting. He may have just been doing coke.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think about that too. I think about that. Yeah, I think about how many women are wet.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I hated it. I couldn't stand it. You hated it? The only reason I, did you see Quiet Place?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] By the way, Bird Box is very polarizing. I'm not saying it's bad. Some people don't like it, some people don't.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've seen it. You're correct. On all of those. Is it good? It's fantastic. Excellent. It's a great movie.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It needed that. Like, it was one of those things that everyone had been driving for months to get Black Panther in that Best Picture category, so uhm.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm gonna be a movie blogger. Blogs are the future, you heard it here first. Well 50% of the internet will say yes, they pandered. And the other 50% will say, well no, it's a good movie. Cause I saw like when I said Black Panther was good on like a movie podcast two weeks ago, everybody shit on me. Really?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, but I think the people in the academy do think they need it, right? They think they, they're trying, this is gonna get way too inside, but they wanna try and make the Oscars relevant. And the Oscars are no longer relevant if they start eliminating Black Panther and Dark Knight and those sorts of movies that are, that the entire world is seeing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's the, it's the hardest thing to do in, in popular media. Yeah. It is the hardest thing to do. And there are only a few specific things that can do it. Uhm, like if you, if you look at music or movies or television or whatever else, those are the best shows. Those are the ones that all the critics like and also the entire public likes. And, uh, that's the hardest thing to do. And the Oscars are discovering.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah. So like, and see that had cultural relevance. That's one of those things where like the Oscars were like, well no, we want cultural relevance too. Totally fine.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think that's also why they extended to 10 Best Picture nominations, because of Dark Knight.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because they didn't, I'm pretty sure it was because Dark Knight basically made it so that they only had five at the time and they were like, well we don't have enough to include the, you know, the unwashed, what they like, so. What they like. So I think they expanded it because of that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, we'll go get some billboards.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Football's rough now. There was a band I used to listen to called The Lost Prophets that was- Oh yeah! And their lead singer was- They got popped? Got popped for really young. Yeah. Like, way too young. And I loved that band. And I remember, I had like all their albums and I read that and I was like, I can never listen to this again. Fuck.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's what I'm trying to tell you, like, seven isn't just enough. It's like, uh, whatever. You gotta read your quote. You gotta end this podcast. Alright, alright, alright.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh yeaah. They commissioned a high schooler to... We had the best office in the world. We looked out on Santa Monica Boulevard. It was beautiful. Oh wow. It's like a fishbowl. Giant glass windows. It was a one-sided window. So basically, like, people could not see in, but we could see out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then in like November of 2014, they, they were like, we're going to do a mural for Machinima and we're going to put it up all along the windows on Santa Monica Boulevard. And we were like, are we going to be able to see through it? And they're like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Probably not. Yeah. Also, we don't care. Like, so they boxed you in. Yeah, and we were like, well, we were like, please don't do that because we were using it as a set and we really love seeing outside. It's a great office. We love it. It's great. Uhm, and they're like, sorry. And then they just put it all up and one day we walked in and we couldn't see out. That's it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, no, it was just a theory. I, uh, so, dude's super views have been...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Declining, uh, and I theorized that it was synonymous with when I started doing canned intros.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Who? Yea, who? Well, also it may not be that. If we got a good title and thumbnail and somebody clicks and sees my greasy mug, they might.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, uh, Chris O'Donnell from Batman Forever. He had a cool rearing too. The edgiest Robin you've ever seen. That's how fuck Batman, Robin.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm joined by three people to discuss Red Dead and the future of Zelda. There's John, Lon Lon Smith Smith.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Omar, I swear I heard you about to say something. And if that was true, I want to hear what it is.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well wait, no, that's keeping her in business! God, stay in your lane, dead horse fairy!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Anyway, this podcast is brought to you by three sponsors, Mac Weldon, Mint Mobile, and Mugsy Jeans. I think I'll start with M. Alright. Uh, you can go to macweldon.com and get 20% off your entire order using our promo code SUP. Uh, you can cut your wireless bill to 15 bucks a month and get free shipping on your Mint Mobile SIM card at mintmobile.com slash dude.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And go to Muggsyjeans.com. That's M-U-G-S-Y-jeans.com. Get a pair of the most comfortable men's jeans in the world and use the code DUDE for $10 off.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, so first, I mean, I am really excited to talk about Zelda.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do you not feel like this robs you of other life experiences that if you weren't looking for your phone you could, I don't know, have mastered the piano by now?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Are you missing out on the hit video game Red Dead Redemption 2? Hell no I ain't. Good. Partner? You are, you are one of the many consumers that helped Red Dead Redemption 2 have the biggest opening weekend of all time in any entertainment ever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, so yeaah, here's the headline with over, and this is from BusinessWire, with over 725 million in worldwide retail sell-through during its first three days. Red Dead Redemption 2 is the second highest grossing entertainment launch of all time, next to Rockstar Games' previously raised title Grand Theft Auto V.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Which achieved over one billion in retail sell-through in three days.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is the biggest weekend because Grand Theft Auto V launched on a Tuesday. Red Dead Redemption 2 launched on a Friday.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So that it's opening weekend, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday, is the same as the first three days of Grand Theft Auto V, which launched on a Tuesday, so it still has the highest weekend.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yep, uh, Worldwide Openings for Movies of Infinity War Leads at 640 million. Damn. Uh, followed by The Fate of the Furious at 541 million, and The Force Awakens at 528 million. Why did you get-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I need to like get a dry erase board and really diagram it out. Cause there's some like, there's some timeline fuckery going on. Characters die, but then come back with amnesia and they're evil, but then they're not evil.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] People theorize there may have been, but it all got tied together. All got tied up, so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] People keep saying that it should be transformers.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's either time travel, I mean space, then time travel, then alternate timelines, where an evil, well they're kind of evil already.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Everything was in the trailer. The whole movie is in the trailer. What world class talent can appear in Fast and Furious that isn't already in it?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, I guess it's back to the like 80's adventure vibe of like small town kid with a denim jacket gets paired with extraterrestrial force and they go on a wacky madcap adventure. I liked the first one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Ah, then he's either screaming into a speakerphone to include a military subplot, or it's already in the movie.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We had a wheelchair kid in the BK club. Remember? I think his name was Wheels. I think so.


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[Assistant] I don't know, do you guys play Red Dead? So what's fascinating to me is like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The hype and reality cycle that occurs around games like this, so it was gonna be the greatest game ever made. And then some people played it and found out that either it wasn't to their taste or that


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know, for me personally, uhm, I like it a lot, because despite being one of the hugest, grandest games with tons of people and tons of budget, it still made very clear creative decisions about what it was going to be, as opposed to


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Mass Effect 3, which wanted to be everything for everybody. Like the least, uh, Mass Effect 3 and Games of its ilk are kind of like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Very easy, very rewarding, still a lot of popcorn entertainment, whereas Red Dead is very slow, long-winded, uh, occasionally like even


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It seems like, uh, you guys were kind of describing the narrative structure of it and how it's similar to a television show. How you'll play and you'll get these sort of episodic installments from different characters' perspectives and stuff. To me, the, yeah, the length also factors into it feeling like a TV show. Where, if you're making a 22 episode season,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, there's gonna be some filler and repetition in there. Uh, and that can be like the intro sequence or establishing shots and like you already know all these places and...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it's, it's interesting. Uhm, I don't know, so, back to the, I guess the top of the conversation, do you guys feel like Red, uh, deserves to have the highest opening weekend of any entertainment property ever?


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[Assistant] I wanna ask you guys a little quirks. So when it comes to like major like pouch upgrades and satchel upgrades, you need like a whole laundry list of pelts. You just have to keep them stacked on your horse until you have all the ones you need. Can you just donate them?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, Sir Phobos says, when you donate to camp, it tells you that it is donated for crafting.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, but you can bid good luck to your wardrobe with improvements from Mack Weldon who is sponsoring this podcast.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Mac Weldon claims to be the most comfortable underwear, socks, shirts, undershirts, hoodies, and sweatpants you'll ever wear. They've also sponsored this podcast quite a bit, so I'm sure you've heard all the, uh, the main, the main sticking points that we try to hit whenever we talk about them. Typically I'll bring up that they actually refresh their lines quite often and they've done it again.


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[Assistant] Uh, Omar, let me get the monitor back over here real quick.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I got a, I have like this, this vinyl fold-out bag that I use whenever I travel to cram all my gym clothes into, but this looks much nicer. Uh, and then also, I want to put this on your guys's radar in case you're not quite there yet. Sweat shorts. Sweat shorts. I live my life, like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, no, sadly. So I've been asleep this entire time. I don't even know where I am right now. But, after hours, I do my workout, I take my shower, I slap on these babies and I start playing Red Dead, and that's the only time I truly feel alive. So, uh, if you're- What?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think so, yeaah. I don't know if it's these specifically, but it oughta be.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But yes, beautiful, comfortable, wonderful sweatshorts. Uh, if you want to wear sweatpants, cause here's the thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] People see sweatpants, you look like a slob. You see sweatshorts, you're like, this guy's got it. This guy's a tiger. He's a lion, or she. They think lion are.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, so please, please, please invest in your future, uh, and invest in Mack Weldon. You can get 20% off your order by using the promo code SUP, that's just S-O-U-P, at mackweldon.com. Once more 20% off using SUP. Please, please, please. Treat your crotch. Treat your crotch right. We're rapping in sweatshorts. Also, what the hell are all these bands?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The recommended videos after watching Zelda Evolution of Great Fairy and 3D Zelda.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is a really interesting hodgepodge.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't call him a freak. Now facing amputation? Oooooh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, once you distill it, yeaah, distilled alcohol is just 40% alcohol, 60% water. Yeaah. Uhm, the distilling process adds flavor and stuff, but with like ramen stuff they store it in barrels. Anyway.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Speaking of fairies, which we're not. Uh, so yeaah, the rap got the exclusive scoop on this one. What? Uh, our good friend Adi Shankar.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, infamous for producing Ghost Rider and Ghost Rider 2 Spirit of Vengeance 2. Thank god someone did.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Damn it. Now the wifi in this room has just been really spacey lately.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] All the, all the live viewers of Tootsie- Oh my god, is it really not loading? Anyway. There it goes. Ahhhh, right.


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[Assistant] Nah, it's, it's gonna be a real series now. On November, he, uh, the rest of his Insta post, he said the success of Castlevania created this opportunity. And then on November 16th at 1pm, he's going to announce what this is. But, it's Zelda, according to the wrap. Uh, so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cool. So this is the interesting challenge, I think, and we'll solve this problem together. Uh, which is that, how do you translate the experience of Zelda into a series?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think you can do it through, uh, so, puzzle solving and boss fights are big elements of Zelda, but I think the more overriding experience is one of exploration. And Hyrule. Fascination, yea.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, so I thought Adam was driving here, but I think a lot of episodes of Samurai Jack were very, very close to that. The sense of like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Atmosphere, foreboding, exploration, solitude. Those things can be in a show. Typically aren't. Because shows are usually focused around narrative and dialogue.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This stupid suit is supposed to have a little dome helmet on it, but it never does when he wears it because it looks stupid.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, no, you're right. I guess yea, if it were like, crazy action, zombie killing, that'd be cool. Or sorry, Nazi gun.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It lives and dies on its experience, which is something that fundamentally doesn't translate. The thing that makes Zelda work is the fact that it's an interactive video game. You can go into the world, go where you want, explore where you want, and then what you find feels like it was your discovery.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think in like a Lego movie sort of way, you can't, there's also ways to tell stories around.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Zelda, so if you take the ideas of exploration and discovery and like, uh, danger and confronting danger and stuff like that, you can adapt that into a story that could work in pretty much any setting. But calling it Legend of Zelda would be a weird sell, I think.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In the TV show? They, they mix Miss and Matchel.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They mix and match a lot. So they have like characters from all over the series kinda combined together.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like ensemble cast, pounding through Hyrule, having adventures, opening treasure chests.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think Avatar is a really good example of that. It can have moments of seriousness and adult themes, but still be lighthearted and whimsical most of the time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, it's all the virtues that everybody wants to see out of the hero, like, experiences self-doubt but overcomes that, uh, faces insurmountable odds but wins due to some cunning of their own.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh man. The Avatar movie is bizarre because it's just such a


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A wisp of a thing. Like it comes and goes and I remember watching it and being like, what?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I mean, comparisons I think there are apt where Pokemon's protagonist Red, like way back, had no personality. Pokemon the show had a character with sort of a personality, Ash wasn't really anything. But back then, these guys


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It had, oh yea, some basketball player from Double Dribble. Uh, it was like the power team or something like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's what it was called. Of course. Hold on. Sorry, you're gonna have to... There's only so much wifi, Link. I'm sorry, buddy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So let's see here, yeaah. Featured characters from Acclaim video games, although Acclaim never actually created these games and really published them. Max Force from NARC, which is a great name. Kuros from Wizards and Warriors.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, no, that's a different tomato. That's Quirk. That's amazing. What? I didn't know that. My bad. There were multiple extreme rad tomatoes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, this has the coolest 90s kid ever in his rad 90s arcade that he skates into, literally on a skateboard, and then he goes and plays all of his sweet Nintendo games, shares his tips and tricks with you, and then they have an ensemble cartoon cut into the show. Can we make the show?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh yea, it became a, it became a trivia show. Where they had to like run through a maze and stick game boxes to the Velcro suit they were wearing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, Nick or Kate was a green screen. They actually built like an obstacle course for kids to run through, and you would stick retail boxes to your suit, and then anything that was still attached to you when you went down this giant slide at the end, you got to keep.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's what Mint Mobile would like you to know. Uh, they're basically changing a lot of things about online wireless connectivity with your phones. I've been using them for like the past four months and


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, I gotta admit like when I go out of LA, coverage might not be quite as great, but I'm here most of the time and I've been saving a shitload of money, so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] For you, I guess it depends on primarily where you use your phone and how much 100% coverage means to you, but if you're near a major city, I'm sure you're just fine. Mint basically works on T-Mobile network. So if you already have T-Mobile, you can switch to Mint, and you'll be on the exact same network no matter what. You can choose between a 2, 5, or 10GB 4G LTE plan,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, which means no paying for unlimited data that you'll never use. I gotta be honest, I was a big fan of unlimited data because I always hate that twinge of like, what if I need it and then I don't have it?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I would look back at my months and months of usage, and I never really went above 4GB ever. Uh, just because I'm on Wi-Fi all the time. And I just like pre-download stuff if I know I'm traveling. So, uh, yeaah, just by just sort of incorporating that into my brain, I'm able to save like 50 bucks a month off of my uh, my mobile plan.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They also say if you're not 100% satisfied, Mint Mobile has you covered with their 7-day money-back guarantee, so you can try them for a full week.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Transfer your number, and if you find out it doesn't work, you can transfer it back. I was actually a little hesitant at first, uh, sent off some support emails to my current provider, and then it meant. And they said that yeaah, you can just transfer your number, and if you don't like it, transfer it back. It's all fine. Just takes an email or two, and you're all set.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, so you can cut your wireless bill to $15 a month and get free shipping on your Mint Mobile SIM card at mintmobile.com slash dude. Once more, that's mintmobile.com slash dude for wireless plans starting at $15. Thanks Mint Mobile for the sponsorship. Thank you for putting an extra $40 into my bank account every month.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, roaming is a bit of a problem. I think it's just like a weird hitch. I can get texts, but data still doesn't work.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] To me, real life Legend of Zelda experience is like being in another country and like trying to leapfrog your way from free wifi to free wifi to figure out where you're going.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Let's just tell them where the dungeon is in Airbnb and you gotta figure out how to work the shower.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh yea, that's rough. Find the trash can. That's always difficult. Where are the glosses? Who knows? Are there any? Ah, I love AirBnB so much.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But if you're, wait, if you're traveling somewhere, why would you just stay inside at the Airbnb?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, there's, uh, there's ads for little cars that I think probably knocked a few eyes out. Yeah, those are the ones that like you wrap them up too far and they just shatter and, like, send shards of plastic back into kids' faces.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You guys never see this show? Yeah, there was like a little android girl, and she would do robot things, and wah, wacky family time. I think, Adam.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think that shows like that were created in the same way that a lot of esports shows are.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I would assume that that show was made because there were investors that heard about this hot new video game thing that all the kids are into. So that's a demo that we need to grab, and I'll give you $40,000 if you can make me a season of some garbage video game shit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And that's why it was shit out. It was made by people who don't know the thing, they like contracted a cartoon.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, mostly yes. I would argue there might be one or two people that originally made the thing that might still be emotionally involved.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Whatever, there's probably like a challenge portion where they have to play Road Cop. Garbage game, by the way. There, that's my hot take for the week. I mean, you watch Nick Arcade.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It seemed like there was nothing programmatic about it, like there was just a stagehand who would like hit the button when he saw your hand go over it. And then if like you got hit with a fireball, you'd be like, you lost a life.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, there are times when like, yeah, even at Rooster Teeth, and they're super accommodating about it, so don't let me give the wrong idea. If we were in another company, it would be less friendly, but there are times when they'll come in and be like, so there's a lot of money.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In blank. In like e-sports. What do you guys think about that? And if we can come up with something that actually makes sense and might be entertaining, then they follow forward with like a pitch process. But man, with stuff like that, it's just...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We're just coming off that. Facebook bought Oculus and they had deep pockets, so they were funding a lot of...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Media on Facebook about VR to try and drum up interest and...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They put out a press release saying like, oh, we're still totally committed to like high-end, high-tech VR. But no, we're not doing Rift 2. And then they-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Imagine a Zelda like that, where it is VR and you can just explore anywhere.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, but yeaah man, just, just the combination of having a huge...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Atmospheric world that you can explore at your own pace by yourself. A Metroid, I think, would work really well on VR too. Yeah. Metroid Prime was kinda like, kinda there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know what else is cool? Leg Comfort with Mugsy Jeans, podcast sponsor. Uh, so this is a new one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, was uh, was, was churning on that one for a while. We'd throw this up here on the ol' monitor. Cover up, cover up our good friend Johnny Arcade. Aw, bye Johnny. I know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We need to come up with cool, I mean, you were dead pixel for a while. Kinda think of what are cool.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's kind of a new fabric, it's like stretch fabric, it's space age tech.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, they say they own their ridiculous comfort to the high tech fabrics, which include materials like synthetic silk and a bunch of other technical stuff they won't waste your time talking about. Which I'm frustrated by because I would like them to talk about it. Uh, they actually sent me a pair and my god, my god they're comfortable. So they're not full on jeggings or anything like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're kind of like a half step between, like, stretchy legging fabric and jeans, so they're still thick, uh, they're still, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's still got that punch to em, like a little weight to em, and a, like it won't show off all your lumps, but it will be very comfortable and conceal some of them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They say that they're soft, breathable, and ridiculously flexible. You won't be able to wear any other jeans again. You can literally sleep in these jeans. They make sitting at a desk all day feel like a dream. I can attest to all those things, because thank you Munzee for sending me up here.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh my gosh, we need to get like, we need to get an access point in here or something. It's working. Yeah, they finally, finally came up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, they look like actual jeans, they're just a little stretchier, a little more form fitting.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, I know as a, as a girthy man, often I would wear jeans that never quite fit right, especially in the thigh. Just a large-thighed individual. So I would just, like my thighs would be choked all day. Uh, because either I had to get jeans that were just abnormally large in the waist, so they would fit in the thigh, but then they would just be super billowy and make me look even worse than I already did.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That won't be the issue here, because even when they stretch, they're still super comfy and breathable.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, they also think, uh, that you should have a chance to try it for yourself. If you think it's too good to be true, no worries. The guys at Mugsy are so confident you'll love your Mugsy's, which is a fun thing to say. They have a free no-hassle return policy, so you have nothing to lose by giving Mugsy a try.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do your legs a favor. They say go to Mugsyjeans.com. That's M-U-G-S-Y Jeans.com. To get a pair of the most comfortable men's jeans in the world.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And use code DUDE, D-U-D-E, for $10 off.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So once more, that's mugsyjeans.com, code DUDE for $10 off your order.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Thank you Mugsy jeans for the sponsorship, and for the jeans. I was gonna wear them today, but I actually like them so much I want to take care of them. So I put them through the wash and then I hung them to dry. But it's actually been kind of damp.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Bizarrely, marine layer and all that shit. So they're, they were still not dry this morning. And uh, when you ride a motorcycle you can't be wearing wet pants. Cause I'm already cold enough. Oh, shrinkage.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Can't get enough pants. All right, let's, let's net hard. We're at the end of the show here. So last week, very excited. This is my favorite


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Ultimate Pokemon Battle. Wow. This is one man's journey to masturbate to every single Pokemon in the Pokédex. And this is done looking only at the picture from the Pokédex.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I only use the picture that's there unless it's gun-wrenching slash impossible, like Graveler or something. And then and only then, I will go to rule 34. I spend as little time on there as I can to keep it as authentic as possible. I'll pick one picture I like and stick with it until I'm done. Then I'll go back to the official list. I limit my R34 usage to one Pokemon a week.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's taking a toll on his body. Uh, Ursaring was very difficult because it looks like a grizzly bear and I'm absolutely terrified by grizzly bears, plus how do you fuck a 300 pound bear? How do you not? There was no best this week, they all sucked.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He summarized week one through nine here. Uh, his record keeping has gotten a lot better as he's been going on.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But yeaah, he took a day off for his birthday, that's allowable.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He is a sexy, lazy Pokemon. That's 289, that's coming up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm gonna jack off to dogs and seahorses.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So that's entry number one, reigning champ from last week.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A lot of Pokemon to masturbate to, a lot of great stuff. That's followed up by this, was a recommendation by a viewer slash listener. It's a YouTube channel that adds health bars to prominent scenes in movies and TV shows.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, let's throw it to the boat! Uh, Adam, who do you think is netting harder, the guy who's jacking off to every Pokemon or the guy who's adding health bars to every movie action scene?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hey man, uh, here hold on, let me, let me, let me let this roll in the background.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm giving it to the world. Nope, sorry. Uh, Alana.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Are you implying you don't know what it takes to masturbate 16 times a week?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When the birds are chirping and the sun is shining, sometimes it just, you get in the mode. Anyway, so John, am I, am I to infer from your


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Your spirited delivery that you're not a fan of health bars.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Didn't Michael Jordan just invest in a video game company or something? Did he? Yea, something like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's such a fascinating chicken or egg conundrum. Cause without Gadget McQuack, no, what was her name? Gadget Socket Wrench?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know. The Chippendale original gadget, yea. She had a last name. Uh, the Russian cult taught me that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But anyway, I wonder if like, are they furries first and then they see a hot bunny? Or did the hot bunny put it in their head that you could have sex with a hot animal?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Ultimate McNasty brings up a good point. Zeus was fucking women as animals for decades. True, but again.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Not as like a hunky, ripped goose, just as a normal goose, but somehow also impregnated.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Mermaids, yeaah. But mermaids, that's like the fever dream of sailors who just wanna see titties. Uh, it's not so much like-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] To me the one thing that is sort of heartwarming that the human race has not changed despite everything around us changing is that sailors


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hey, that's, that's our Legend of Zelda. Er, Link's driving down the road, he thinks he sees a titty, crashes his car, and then he goes on an adventure. It was a stop sign.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm terrified that it's gonna hit exactly when my body hits a permanent downslope. So if I ever do something stupid and like twist an ankle and I go to the doctor and they're just like, yeah, it's busted for good. That's it. You just have a bad ankle now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Look, we'll get to it. I'm very excited to talk about that. But first, this episode of DudeSoup is brought to you by Squarespace, Eero, and Upstart. And hi, I'm Alana. I'm joined by Bruce, Adam, and Lauren.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, first up I wanted to talk about, cause it just happened, the Google Stadia? Stadia?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know, do you guys want to explain it in a little bit? I can. It basically lets you stream games to any hardware device you want. Your PC, your phone, or your TV. There's a controller. Uh, it's coming this year. The dream that Google has, which might actually be possible because Google has the most money of anyone ever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The mobile gaming market is the most profitable by a lot. I think it's like 42% of the market is how much it holds. And that's the same thing where a microtransaction is a button and then like a face recognition and that's it. That's it. It's so easy to do. Even that is harder through a console. You still have to usually like put in your PayPal or whatever else. If you could do that through a streaming service, it's just easy money.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is for sure going to have an impact on game development, and one thing that I find really interesting, I don't think that we should underestimate Google, is the thing. They are going to shape the tech industry. Never heard of them. You think so?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Games that people will play for three years that they will put all of their money into repeatedly. This would kind of undo that?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, I think this, a streaming service where you can pick up and play anything and immediately just like buy it for three dollars, will probably get us back to games that are way, way, it will be more like mobile games. I think we would get less of the destinies that people are trying to push right now, which is probably what Halo is going to be like. Or the anthems, or the online only archetype.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I mean, so part of this is they plan to use their own data centers, meaning they bypass public internet, which should reduce the risk of cheating and allow for cross-play, which is actually pretty cool.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, giving, this being, Google makes most of their money off of ads.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know what I mean? YouTube has YouTube Red. I don't see why they couldn't have Stadia.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, I imagine she has millions, but this was, you're right in that this is probably done in reverse where it was Google being like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Huh. Yeah. And then she's like there and like, okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A lot that I like, yea. They have a lot. Like Beat Saber's not exclusive. Uh, Unspoken's really good, that's like a jewel, wizard, casting game. Uh, Chronos is fantastic. It's like, it's a maybe 12 hour action RPG. It's really good. Okay. It's just no one talks about them. I was gonna say that nobody's ever played it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Speaking of the internet, our first sponsor for today's show is Squarespace, who pride themselves on an all-in-one system for domains, websites, online stores, and marketing tools. They are the all-in-one platform to build a beautiful online presence and run your business, including their newest feature, email campaigns.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's consistent content from website to email, powerful editing tools to make it your own, customizable layouts for any message and mobile editing so you can send.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Basically send those emails anytime, anywhere, which is actually really cool. Uhm, of course, outside of fancy emails, the biggest hook of Squarespace is turning your cool idea into a full website to showcase your work.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, I actually really often have people ask me how I made a portfolio when I started out writing about video games. Uh, Squarespace would be a perfect place for you to do that if anyone wants to get into games journalism or movie journalism.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Basically a cool place that you could host your writing or your resume or your work in general.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it'll all look nice thanks to their fancy templates which are made by world-class engineers, so that's all pretty cool.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, make sure that you head to squarespace.com slash dudesoup for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, use the offer code dudesoup. That's all one word. D U D E S O U P to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Thank you to Squarespace. Lawrence.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like if it's a Google first party product, sure. I don't think that they can do that with an EA product that is advertised as being fully multiplayer. I think that that's illegal.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't think that's what they're selling. I think that they're trying to sell the idea that you're streaming something, you have it instantly, and you can swap between your devices. I don't think they're trying to sell you the game. They're trying to sell you the ability to swap from your TV to your PC.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know, there's also like, uh, an issue with Google having access. I don't know what it would do, but you know how they're so good with advertising. James, uh, yesterday asked us to pick watches for a brand deal thing and now I keep getting advertised the watch that I sent him. Like it's happened so quickly because that was, I mean, that was through Slack. Like I don't even know how that,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, in February 2016, they introduced the Eero Home WiFi system, bringing the idea of multiple access points placed throughout a house to consumers for the first time. Basically, it'll get rid of any range problems that you might have in your house. Uhm, the new Eero, which is the second generation, and the Eero Beacon,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, with the addition of a third 5 GHz radio, the second generation Eero is now tri-band and twice as fast as its predecessor, which lets customers do more simultaneously in every room of their home. Whatever your WiFi needs, Eero has the power to seamlessly blanket your home in fast, reliable WiFi,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] With increased speed and range with powerful tri-band ratios. Uh, you also have total network protection, advanced security, content blocking and ad blocking if you want that as well.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But still awful. Uh, you can get $100 off the Eero base unit and two beacons package and one year off of Eero plus if you visit Eero.com slash dude and at checkout enter the promo code dude. So that is...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, uh, I don't know how much time we have left. What time did we start, Ahmadina?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Spaceflight is activating herpes in astronauts. According to CNN.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, so you can't just like, get herpes by going to space. It's basically when people already have herpes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so, that's a big thing where a lot of people who, a lot of people have herpes and never know because they will never have a flare up, so they could not even test positive for herpes, go to space and be like, ah shit, I have herpes. And they didn't know before they left.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] 89, which is 53% astronauts on short space shuttle flights and 14 out of 23 or 61% on international space station missions. Shed herpes viruses, meaning that they like have herpes and may not have tested positive ever before in their lives.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Something to do with your immune system being down, which is something that happens when they are in space flight.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, bone density and muscle density. That's why they do more exercise in space. Um, yeah. So it could also be microgravity, radiation, whatever else. Uh, but the best part...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] S-T-S-X-X-X. Computer simulations narrowed down the best ten positions out of twenty, and then two test subjects tested them in zero gravity conditions. What were they?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And you can't do anything. I tried to play Switch in 0G, and he just...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You can't, it's so hard to do. So missionary, you're pushing someone all the time. You're just gonna...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, we don't know. It was too classified. That's what I'm like, trying to guess.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, you move so fast and it's frustrating. You'll try and stay in one place. Like when I did it, I was holding onto the side of a fucking plane and still just like being moved. Like you can't do shit. Sex wouldn't be fun in space. That's the saddest part. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I really don't think it would be fun. That's the thing that upsets me. All I want to do in life is go to space. My number one life goal is to go to the International Space Station. That's it. The fact that sex would suck up there makes it less fun.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright. Good talk. Yep, I gotta do one more ad read.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Now, thanks to Upstart.com, it never has to be that way again. Upstart is revolutionizing the way you borrow money by rewarding you for your job experience and education in the form of a smarter interest rate. Unlike


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, upstart goes beyond the traditional FICO score when assessing your credit worthiness. I don't even know if I can get a loan outside of stuff like this at this point because I have no credit history.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Upstart believes you're more than just your credit score. They make it far simple and easy to check your rate in less than two minutes without affecting your credit score. And the best part, once your loan is approved, the funds will be transferred to you the very next business day. The next day.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Over 100,000 people have used Upstart to pay off credit card student loans, fund their wedding, or to make a large purchase. Free yourself from the burden of high interest credit card debt by consolidating everything into one monthly payment with Upstart.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] See why Upstart is ranked number one in their category with over 300 businesses on TrustPilot and hurry to upstart.com slash dude to find out how low your upstart rate is. Checking your rate only takes two minutes and it won't affect your credit. That is upstart.com slash dude.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So that we aren't leaving this podcast on an ad. If you guys could go to space and have sex, what position would you choose?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hey Dan, I think you just unplugged your mic. God damn it. Kentucky Root Zero.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh really? Yeah, it's really odd. Cause I also try to name my character Clungy, and Clungy didn't work either.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It sounds like you got something pierced and it's dangling.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I see what, I see what you're saying. They may, like, instead of releasing Red Dead Redemption the first one on PC, they'll just give it to you as a DLC and then it'll be on all platforms, Xbox One, PS4, and PC.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean a year after launch. Nine months was it? So three years from now they're gonna release it on PS5 and Xbox 7. Three years from now? Two years. Two. Well, you said after launch, a year after launch, so that's gonna be three.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] 2013-2014, right? Cause it came out in 2013, GTA 5 did. And then 2014 was it? Was it not?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No it's not. Now you see me too. It's much easier to say than now you see me, now you don't.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think it's because it's an open world and you can do whatever you want. So I mean like, to a certain extent you can just run around and shoot people and fuck with things and like, posse up with your friends if you want to and then if not...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just do races. You could just slam into things. Yea, there's a lot of different, they added, although they didn't have those for the first, what, year, I wanna say. Yea. They didn't have the, like, community events that were just sitting there that you could drive into. Before it was just an open world that you could fuck around in. So I'm hoping that the open world in Red Dead is the same way. I don't know that it is. So.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Rewind spoiler. Have you guys found, uh, have you walked into a house with like a murder scene in a house? No.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, if there's anybody who can trust with it, I think it's Brockstar, right? Cause GTA Online was pretty well done. Yeah?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You can bet the suit's a take two. Like early, early on, like 2014, where like, Red Dead's going to definitely have an online service, and it's going to be like GTA Online. So get ready.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well the thing is, they took a page from Indies on that one, on Early Access. Cause they were like, wait a minute, people are paying for ARK Early Access for three years? For a game that's not finished and pretty much broken, you know, for as long as they've been playing it? Why can't we do that? And so now they are.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I never played this. I did go and see, uh, Enemy of the State to watch the Star Wars Episode 1 trailer.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, that's right. Which makes a little more sense, but enemy of the state in Star Wars? That makes no sense. At all.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is the part where Lawrence yells at the internet and none of us know what he's talking about.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Also, Marvel, you've got a history of ten years of movies. That's totally different than Ralph Breaks the Internet, which you've never seen before.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Again, they're looking for it, number one, but number two, this is like a subset of a subset of a subset of a subset of people. Everyone loves Mario, Bruce. Whereas in terms of marketing materials, most people need to see that Mortal Engines is about some guy that dies at the


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's the problem is that they're not marketing to the Super Smash Brothers guy that's already bought seven copies of it. They're marketing to people who haven't bought the game yet.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It took North Americans hundreds of years to realize that mutilating babies' genitals without their consent wasn't such a good idea after all.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Then again, it also took Americans time to stop killing Native Americans.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Even worse, and to add insult to injury to circumcision survivors and victims, I'm one of them. The corrupt American and Canadian governments, even in 2015, refuse to acknowledge and compensate circumcision victims and survivors. And all the boys and men who had their genitals mutilated without their consent and against their will are forced to accept it because the North American governments are so corrupt it barely care about its people.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No public apology. No monetary compensation. Nothing. Circumcision is now a controversial and serious issue.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And the despair and horror of never being able to find and retrieve it. In other words, a man who feels violated and incomplete.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The schism may be symbolized repressed homosexuality. The schism's head is phallic. And this, mixed in with gyno-phobia theory.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This may be why the monster has a box-like genitalia that is being punished for its homosexuality by being unable to masturbate to men with a twisted arm as punishment.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's also a possibility that the schism is a circumcision, male genital immunization metaphor, see also Walter Sullivan, and it is possible Alex was circumcised at birth resulting in trauma. Circumcision has negative side effects and can result in a damaged and traumatized psyche.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This would explain the schism's missing genitals and the bloody slit in its phallic and blade-like head.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Seriously, don't be on the wrong side of history. It's like trying to delete the Holocaust article on Wikipedia saying it's some anti-Holocaust or anti-Nazi rant. That's how brainwashed you sound, Alex Shepard.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Silent Hill is all about exposing the atrocities of America. That's the entire purpose of it. It is a fact and truth that circumcision damages the male psyche and it is part of a brainwashing dark ritual. And no, I won't remove it!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then Alex wins. He stood there in his room with his arms up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, look. I just don't want to think about penises. I don't think that it's gross that somebody has a foreskin. Some days I do wish that I had a foreskin. Other days I don't.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Mine's just Santa with a sword on the unicorn. Cool.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's just basic psychology. It's like when all of your needs are met in terms of like food and shelter and all that other stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think they're very similar though, where- I mean, he's not helping anybody either, so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's plenty of breaks. Snap those hands. Also you don't, you don't have to play hard out there. You can just kinda run to the middle and just like stand there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, I do like horror, and that's why I feel like horror movies over the last 10 years have kind of tried to, like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Meet both ends of that spectrum that you talked about of like, hey, here's these funny moments that kinda, so you can turn back towards the screen, but then we're gonna scare the shit out of you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No jumpscares, no nothing, it's just people just like, you knew they were coming. And also they broke a lot of rules.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, I don't know, come back around a minute. I really want to think about that because I think it's gotta be something that is actually possible to happen.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, I didn't have anybody to talk to because he gets up before everybody so I was like, I didn't notice my speech. Uhm, I didn't feel a certain type of way, I just know I fell off.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I don't know, I didn't get a chance to ask him, but I just asked him about that morning and he was just like, yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I knew something was off, but I didn't quite know what, and he was like, I still felt young and invincible, so like I wasn't suspecting that a stroke was happening.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've got it. Everyone, you have to buy your own monkey, or whatever, and you have to train it to the best of its ability to go work for you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I guess understanding, because now it's okay to kind of talk about.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That kind of helped me go get through my anxiety that I have like one year in high school. I don't know what triggered it, but I was like really bad anxiety to the point I would shake.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In public. I was thinking everybody was looking at me and then one day I just had to sit there and be like, this is so stupid. And once I said that to myself, like, it just kinda just...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Maybe just a few years ago, I was like, oh, are you into that too? Oh, oh my god, that makes me feel so better. I just thought like something was crazy wrong with me, but no, it's anxiety.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I feel like most people would be combative. I mean, I don't know. Have any of you ever been combative about somebody kind of diagnosing you with something that you don't think is possible?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] 16 year old me still exists on the internet. Luckily, it was at a time where like, people still didn't say their real name. I mean, I was playing gaming, but I was just a really mean person. Like, I can go find the stuff. It's hilarious.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Not only did he game, just so I know the stakes. It was one of those online persistent games, so like, there's like a community with politics and stuff like that, like, because you log in every day and see the same people. Was it like a free to play MMO or something? No, it was, it was called, uh, 10.6. It was owned by Sega on the Heat.net days. Oh, okay. It was one of those, like, like Anarchy Online and one of those games where it's just like, you see the same people. Pretty tight-knit, yeah. But not only did his wife


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I cheated on him with his boss because they had like this small like working business, but then he found out he had testicle cancer.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, I did. I did that in college. Like, I just went back one day and I read it and I was like, man, that's really mean. And I just went and apologized. And I actually apologized to just like, I wasn't a bully, but just whenever I needed a competitive edge, I was going to get in your head. And so I actually like went and wrote to, I don't even know if the person's still alive. You should have gone to fighting games. Well, he ended up playing on my team later on in the game. And so I think that was like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The step in the process where I was just like, man, you was my teammate at one point in time afterwards. Like, eh, let me just, you said my bad, dude. Like, I hope everything's worked out for you. I hope you're okay. Yeah. Uh, I don't know if you're still alive. I guess I could go look and see, but, dude, it was me at the time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Not by, like, today you have to write some really complex shit to the point where, like, if I look away for a little bit, I'm lost. Yeaah. You know, I kinda lose interest. And I also, you just, I'm distracted by so many things. Yeaah, then there are some more grounded, I suppose.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, that's probably the most famous one. Although he could have read like this but whatever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's just the extra precaution. Cause even, I think about like just leaving the soap there after the shower and coming back, you know, later in the day, I'm just like, man, how much?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, you can't just pull anybody off the street with the rest, like they gotta, culture has to match. So I, I don't know. Because some people are just super passionate. They want to come here and they want to work hard and some people just want to, they just need a job. Uhm, you can't punish the two. I don't know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Didn't mean to interrupt though, I apologize. No, no, no, no, I was saying, it's not a pressure, or maybe it is that I'm not aware of it, but it's just my own...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just my own work ethic is just kinda how that is.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. I guess it also depends on the source, like, the...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think the one thing about, I read like the town had to be changed, I mean, I guess,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I would be maybe frustrated because the people up top, like that just sounds like disorganization. Like why didn't you guys know that? Unless it was just kept under wraps by the other company and they didn't know. So it's a last minute shift. So it depends on the source of that, of that culture kind of being pushed. Same thing like-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm done. It's 4.30. I can stay around and pep talk you guys and distract you. Or I can go home.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Get re-inspired and come back tomorrow refreshed. You guys can, and I don't know why you're here till eight, I think it's because you're like, not efficient.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Probably on Facebook a lot of the time, but I've rebelled against like that type of culture cause it's just like, alright, my work gets done, you gonna fire me for doing my work? Right, everybody has their own pace. Yeah. If your shit gets done.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Damn it's good. I love that. That was really good. Alright.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, all fairness, I did have a woman once say, can you just send me a picture of your face so she can do that? I don't know if she photoshopped it into like something or she literally just was looking at it, but that was the one time.


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[Assistant] Is it, well, is it more fun if it's like covered up?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, I like Big Knee Lover. I think somebody drew me with Big Knee shortly after this. Thank you. If you're here tonight. Uhm, but Floppetron really stole my heart. When we, it's just the eclectic catalog. And I appreciate the ingenuity so much. So my vote's for Floppetron.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't like kids. Two between two dogs.


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[Assistant] I do, I think it's not too shabby, guy. Yeah? To be honest.


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[Assistant] Bruce likes to know everything about everyone. He doesn't like surprises. That's true. Cheap space case, at least well on.


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[Assistant] You don't often see Adam's teeth because of the way his face is shaped, so seeing them is very off putting.


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[Assistant] Experiential now. The journeys and stuff. Like, when I call them a game or whatever, like, they're just...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sea of Thieves was the kind of thing where it's like, you know what?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I want real low stakes cruise around an ocean. And this seems like now it's a pretty low stakes cruise around space.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do you think, do you think there's a certain aspect of, uh, unrealized hypocrisy?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because like No Man's Sky came out and they were like, this is a ripoff, it's a company, it's a scam, they lied to us, like not everybody, but there was this vocal, vocal audience that very, felt like they had been betrayed even though they didn't pay a dime for it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then it kind of was punished for that. But then a million other games came out afterwards that people were more than willing to play.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But it's just another one of those other games that we do play with our friends, so I guess if someone asks us again, we'll be nicer about it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And this is an opportunity to ask again because they made some sort of update, you know?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I, I do think we're at a point where people are losing more and more excuses for being as upset with a game as they were with No Man's Sky. Uhm, because Fortnite


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The game Fortnite that people play is not the game Fortnite that was out first.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, Fortnite was entirely intended to be a different game, and then they pivoted because their engine is so versatile that they were able to.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And now it's one of the most popular games on the planet and people love it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But every single time people log in, they have to click away from what Fortnite was.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, so you have to understand that that's, that's, you've only kind of encouraged developers in a lot of ways to just get it out there and then figure out what it is later.