[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My god, you actually did something and made the playoffs? And you won a playoff game? It only took ya 12 years.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Eh, I'm not worried. The Falcons got a field goal in their next drive. As long as the offense keeps clicking, they're good to go.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're 7 and 6. It's time to prove your doubters wrong and avenge for last year's failure. Or just lose your last 3 and fail to make the playoffs.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, you made the playoffs again. You're up by five against Bud Grant's old Vikings at the start of the fourth. Time to get revenge. You'll glue another lead, eh?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Whatever, you've got a field goal and they have to drive the length of the field. It's going to take a total collapse for them to- You blew another lead, eh?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That shitty coach you had back in the mid-1970s? Let's hire him again, because why the fuck not? You get sentenced back to the basement.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's the start of a new Falcon generation led by Bad Moon Rising and Prime Time. You got back to the playoffs and actually won another playoff game!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Unfortunately, you get scouted by the Redskins in the next round.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This Brett Farve guy is a head case that doesn't give a shit about the game of football. Exile him to hell on earth, also known as Green Bay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Andre Ryzen and Primetime may be gone, but you still snuck into the playoffs. Remember that Brett Favre guy? He kicks your ass all over the field in the wildcard game.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My god. You not only won another playoff game, you made the Super Bowl. Most of it is due to the Vikings choking on their own shit, but you're respectable in your own right. You're the lovable underdog, the goddamn dirty bird. Now bring that Lombardi trophy back to Atlanta.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The Cinderella story strikes 12 and they get smashed by the Broncos. Better luck next year, boys. Or just go 5 and 11. You can do that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What you need to rush past this mediocrity is a transcendent talent. It's time to make a move. Trade a nice package to the Chargers to draft Michael Vick.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Vic's electrifying play leads you back to the playoffs in his second season. You actually beat that fucking farve guy in a playoff game too. Only a brick wall could stop you. It's name is the Eagles.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Michael Vick is going to lead you to greatness. He gets injured, you start the season off 2 and 10, Dan Reeves is flogged publicly in Olympic Park, and the defense is a turnstile. Such greatness.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Things get back on track and you make the playoffs again. Vic emerges as one of the great runners in the league and you put up 47 points against the Rams of all teams. Only Uprick Wall could stop you. Its name is the Eagles.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Bobby Petrino turns out to be a complete disaster in Atlanta. Who knew that big time college coaches rarely pan out at the professional level?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They go 4 and 12 on the field, but that's just like finding out you lost your remote after the goddamn house burned down.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You get back to the playoffs under his and Michael Turner's guidance. And you have another lead at halftime.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, you blew it? At least it was only a 3.1 this time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You finally got back-to-back winning seasons for the first time in franchise history? What do you want, a fucking trophy?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Boom. You're Super Bowl contenders again with a 12-4 season. And you get completely obliterated by the Packers.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] One positive though, you didn't lose to that fucking farf guy again.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You do, however, get absolutely manhandled by the giants the next year.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hot damn, 13-3 and at home against the 49ers with a 10 point lead at halftime. They choose to stick to the script and piss the game away. There's always next year though.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We don't have enough passion in our stadium. Let's just pipe in some noise to help out. Nobody's going to notice at all.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're 5-0 to start the year? The crystal ball predicts a future playoff berth.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The crystal ball turns out to be a mirage and you lose seven of your next eight. No playoffs for you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're doing so well right now. The Falcons have a 25-point lead in the third quarter of play. Oh, you thought I was just going to glance over this? Bitch, you don't know this channel. This is a special moment in sports. Time to amplify the pain.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] New England charges down the field in six minutes and James White runs into the end zone for a five yard gain. The Falcons do fuck all on the next drive.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] God damn what a catch by Julio! This should put the game away for sure. Just run the ball, burn the clock out, and kick a field goal to end the madness. Why the fuck are you passing?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Why the fuck did you just put yourselves out of field goal range? Shanahan, you arrogant fucking idiot. Oh, turns out I was premature and you got back into field goal range. There was a holding penalty? Fuck.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You blow the drive and you're forced to punt. The Patriots have to drive over 90 yards though. Just stop them somewhere and you're good. Or allow them to convert a third and ten.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The Patriots win the coin toss and proceed to pick the Falcons defense apart for the length of the field. Oh look, a pass interference penalty.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Starts at the one and looking for a little breathing room and they get that in plenty more. Derek Henry, still going.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Every day there are quarterbacks that are abused, that are neglected, that are wasted. For far too long we have looked away from their plight.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Throughout the NFL, these young men are being left to rot. Terrible coaching.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Poor offensive lines. Bad scheming and play-calling. Media criticism of their play.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Throughout the generations, abuse and regression affect the confidence of many of these players. Look at this poor quarterback.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This unfortunate soul deserves a home where he isn't beaten by defensive pass rushes. A place with a sturdy offensive line.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Viable pass-sketching targets. A coaching staff that supports him. This is where we hope to bring these men salvation. The Save a Quarterback campaign will give these men a second chance at life.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] For a small donation, you will give these field generals the help they need. Rehabilitation and counseling for past traumas. Support and structure. Three hot meals a day. A new home. Hope. These men deserve redemption.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And that's what the Save a Quarterback campaign strives for.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] At least 20% of your donations will go to helping those in need.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] For your help, you will get a commemorative sticker showing your support. The NFL is a brutal landscape. But with the Save a Quarterback campaign, we can help one poor soul at a time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It didn't matter my style, of course. A dream is always meant to be pursued, right? Something happened when I was in college.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm looking at ESPN, the company, what they were as an organization, and said, wait a minute.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't want this! Why would I slave away for a company that went against my core values as an individual? So I chose not to go after what I thought was a goal when I was younger. Why do I mention this? It's because people change. And so do companies. This wasn't the ESPN that I had grown up watching. And now, it's even more different than I had seen back then.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] From April through June of last year, the network hemorrhaged $4.7 billion. Honor talents were asked to slash 15% of their salaries, executives 20 to 30%. And a few months ago, they had another big watch.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They claim the cost cutting is due to the pandemic, but if you look deeper into it, that explanation is total bullshit. The issues they're dealing with have been long in the making.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] ESPN is trying desperately to patch up the cracks in their foundation, but whatever they do, it seems to be creating more issues.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Over the past few years, they've been exacerbated by elements both in and out of their control. I'm gonna ask you a question. If you watch ESPN, what's it for nowadays?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The majority of you watching will probably answer live sports. Perhaps you want to see the NBA, Monday night football, college, athletics. Once again, look at how much they're spending on the rights to broadcast such material. It's measuring in the billions.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] For the worldwide leader in sports, it's back to how it was in its early days. They need the leagues far more than the leagues need the network.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If ESPN doesn't wish to pay over 2 billion for the rights to Monday Night Football, the wild card game, and the draft, then someone else definitely will. It's a double-edged sword. If they don't have live sports, they're damned, as last summer showed.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] As for everything besides their bread and butter, the same issue remains. The massive over-reliance on personalities.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Since they're at the point where they're cutting some of their better talents like Wingo and Lebatard? That's alarming. And their replacements are completely unnotable.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You see, ESPN understands that the legendary personalities of the 90s made them great, but they forget the key ingredients that made them so. The main thing lacking? Authenticity.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When you watch guys like Scott, Patrick, Obermann, and Eisen, you didn't get a caricature or talking head, but you just got the anchor. You got different styles. They were able to build a legitimate connection with the audience. Nowadays, the only thing ESPN seems to be interested in are clicks and controversy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The rise of First Take might have damaged them in the end. Not because of First Take itself, but failing to understand what made it great. The uniqueness of the program on the network and the strong personalities. Even if they were hammed up to hell and back. With Hot Takes, it's a short dopamine high.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You get the initial clicks and controversy, but there's no connection to the audience. There are questions about the authenticity. You don't know if it's their true opinion or just to create controversy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Most of the controversial takes aren't even controversial these days. They become white noise. And it's been amplified by the unstable sports environment.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Most of the talent they try to push do NOTHING for me when I watch from time to time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't give a shit what Rex Ryan or Dominique Foxworth think about a given topic.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't wake up every morning wondering what Balmany Jones or Tanner Lofsky have to say. There's no authenticity or connection. Just static.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The only people that I feel are relatable from what I've seen are Scott Van Pelt and Mike Greenberg. The only other real draw on the network is Stephen A. Smith. And they know it. He's a character, but the man has charisma and conviction.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He does his part well, but they're stretching him way too thin. They had him on MMA coverage for a hot minute.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What the fuck does Stephen A know about MMA? I know you're paying him a ton, but you're just setting him up to fail!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So without the marketable personalities and sports being on pause, ESPN was in a tough spot.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's just not much to talk about in the given shows besides speculation and past performances. Then things got hairy. Let's just say things happened last summer and it forced their hand. They got political.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Now I'm not going to throw stones at them, I've been guilty of this as well. It's not a bad thing in doses either.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No matter what side you take, it's going to piss off half your potential audience!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Let's make this clear, this isn't a left-wing issue. If they had conservative leanings, they'd be dealing with the same shit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But consider that Disney just acquired the broadcasting rights to the SEC a few months ago. Most of the areas where those teams play are heavy Republican. And like it or not, they don't agree with ESPN's stance.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's what is going to give them the impetus to seek other options to get their sports fix. And there is the most critical issue ESPN is facing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Their greatest threats are a bunch of schmucks in the spare room or basement.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Instead of being forced to adhere to corporate suits and FCC regulations, they have forged their own path. Look at Pat McAfee.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He has built his brand in ways that would have been impossible even five years ago. It's independent of big media. Most of the YouTube scene?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's just a bunch of random people from all walks of life that lack the resources and manpower of the big boys!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But they offer an incredible diversity of viewpoints and perspectives. It gives something that ESPN now lacks. Authenticity. Connecting with their audience. The internet has filled that void.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That has become more relatable than former athletes and characters spouting off crazy stuff to get attention. ESPN is in a very tough situation.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] With this constant desire for short-term clicks and controversy, people get sick of it and take their sports fix elsewhere.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] COVID hasn't helped, but they'd still be dealing with this regardless.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What has been the one thing that they have done over the past year that has brought them significant attention? The last dance.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was a series that was slaughtered with positive publicity and praise. An oasis in a barren sports desert. This is the kind of content that ESPN needs to produce more of.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because the production costs are much higher, it takes much longer to construct, and the risks of failure are great. It's much easier to try and chase after the quake high.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Even then, I can see ESPN trying to push more resources into the YouTube and podcasting markets in the future. They're already pivoting towards streaming services. It'd be the smart play considering trends.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Whether it succeeds or not depends on if they make a legitimate effort to be authentic. And that is a story that still has to be told.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I may be biased here, but I hope they fail to adapt.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I have tremendous news for the rest of the NHL. The Pittsburgh Penguins aren't in the playoffs this year.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's an app that aggregates all tickets on the resale market, and unlike the penguins, they do so without fail.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It sorts all tickets from red to green on a 1 to 10 scale and offers a sneak peek from where you'll be sitting.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Don't forget to use the code tree in the link below to save 20 bucks off your first purchase. It unfortunately will not solve the pen's mess of a situation.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But SeaGeek will help them get to some playoff games if they want. Now onto the salt.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] At least go down with a fucking fight, not just go through the motions of a pretend contender. Don't be mistaken, this was not an overnight collapse.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is the result of years upon years of fuck-ups. I'll show you right now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, you went a little too far a few days later. There's your patient zero move.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Trading a first round pick in Oscar Sundquist for a fourth liner in Ryan Reeves in second rounder. It was terrible from the time it was announced.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Jim Rutherford refused to go out on top after 2017, and he was being haunted by Tom Wilson in his sleep.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, you have to try and be positive about it. Hextal was held back by the boys' club of Philly? Burke did things twenty years ago?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What they inherited was a burned out husk of a franchise, but the foundations were intact. Grosby, Malkin, and LaTang were still here.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They had a few young pieces from those cup runs. Gensoul, Rost, Dumalin, and some decent depth, but little else. The farm was barren after years of trades. The team was getting slower and older. Goaltending went from a strength through an Achilles heel. With nothing else to help out, the old core couldn't carry like they used to. Downfall went from feared to painful. And it led to five straight playoff series losses. In increasingly embarrassing fashion.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Nobody wanted to admit it around here, but 2022 was their last shot. After yet another playoff failure, they were done.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Fans would point to goaltending being the reason why they didn't go anywhere, but it wasn't the main concern. The team couldn't make zone entries on 5 on 3 power plays. The roster design had become visionless. Team tactics were incredibly stale. Depth was gone and nothing was on the way. They needed to start rebuilding. And I'm not saying this after the fact, I was screaming this at the time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't care if Grosby's still playing at his peak. If you haven't made a deep run since the cup year, there's no evidence that they can do it again in any state!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They may be below market value, but the real cost is in the term on those deals. Tang signed until he's 41 and Malkin until he's 40.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Rust and Raquel are gonna be 35 when they're done and their speed will have faded before then. They've doomed themselves by locking everyone up. Become the Red Wings of the mid-2010s. Detroit kept the gang around for way too long as well. They had a playoff streak to maintain too. What did it get them? A one-way ticket to hell. What's done is done, might as well make the most of it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, Burke's not the main star of the show, there's only one man for the job. And his name is Ron Hextal, Master of the Fence-it, the idiot savant of unbelievable butchering. You want a plan? Oh no, my friends, it's up here.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So ornate and complex that it literally cannot be transcribed into written form. He was a legend in Philadelphia. Especially with his incredible resume as their GS.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] An illustrious, immaculate drafting and free agency record. Patience, boys. Let him cook.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's even worse because the core took short-term discounts to build a team around them. They stretched their deals out longer. For this. I forget Yanru is even on the pansy so obsolete here.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In Ron Hexdahl's reign, the Pens went from a team in desperate need of speed in youth to the oldest team in hockey.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The risk in such a strategy in the modern NHL is ridiculously high!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You'd have to hope every single thing goes right to even have a CHANCE at a deep run. Things did not turn out that way. Brian Dumalin fell off the face of a map. Big Daddy Jeff Carter lost his legs nearly overnight.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The bottom six was as bad as it was back in 2014. Goaltending, you'd find better consistency in a goddamn tie-dye painting. Chris Letang had a nightmare season. His father died and he suffered a second stroke. Sammy Poulan took a leap of absence to take care of his mental health. They were a ridiculously erratic team.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Going from shit to excellent to shittin' back in the matter of three weeks. The only good surprise of the year was P.O. Joseph. That's about it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Mike Sullivan's not playing the young players? Then bring in more old guys!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because why make your own decisions when the assistant GM can use his persuasion skill to help you make a great mistake?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because as Ronnie puts it, he REALLY likes this tea.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In reality, they're a dull, lifeless, unlikable, and uninspired bunch that mirror the corporate atmosphere of PPG most nights. The core can't carry this boulder every single game these days. And it showed all season. Separate six and seven game losing streaks. Blowing leads like they were next to nothing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Not just losing against playoff contenders, but being crushed by them. Even then you'd expect them to drag this out and make the playoffs, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's where the Pens revealed themselves to be a bad team, simply finding unbelievable ways to lose games.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Try against Ottawa, where they were stonewalled by Dylan goddamn Ferguson. On emergency call-up. He was about to be sent to the ECHL weeks earlier.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The only consistency was failing to show up for 60 hell even 40 minutes most games. But the apex was the cup.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] All they had to do was beat two of the worst teams in hockey and they continue the streak.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The Jackets literally had the equivalent of AI-generated players in their lineup for God's sake! A real team would dismantle them! The Pens lost both matches.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was for the best. They were getting their asses kicked by Boston if they made it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This isn't just failure, this is catastrophically horrible! Crosby and Malkin were healthy!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you don't put some of the blame on Sully for what's happened this year, then you're not paying close enough attention. Sullivan's a good coach.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He honestly should have been fired after that embarrassment in the bubble in 2020.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Jared McCann wasn't emerging like this in Pittsburgh. Sully would still be chucking him in low-leverage situations.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't care if you come out nearly every press conference and say you outplayed the other team, you still fucking lost by two goals! The entire coaching staff needs to go as well, but that isn't gonna happen.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Even if Fenway says there'll be more hands-on, they're still enamored with Sullivan and still think they're contentious. Let me spell it out for you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Rosby, Moken, and Letang are still very good players, but they aren't the talents they used to be.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Who of these three could you still argue is a franchise caliber talent? Crosby, probably, but no one else.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You can't look me in the eye and tell me you can go on another deep run with this score. Not with how this past season-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Not with these tail tactics. Not with this lack of depth.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What pisses me off is the fact that you could see this shit coming from a mile away and they STILL sprinted headfirst off a ledge! This was a team that was the envy of the league six years ago.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But Jim Rutherford set the franchise on fire for reasons of paranoia.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This team and it's brass sat around and watched him do it until it was far too late!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then Ron Hexdal came in and just threw lithium all over the place. It's a fucking mess.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I know everyone's gonna say, well, the pens should just rebuild and shut you up for once. Here's the neat thing. You can't.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Nearly all of the corps locked up long-term on either unmovable contracts or as some form of a no-trade clause. Chance to step off this train was last off-season. And now it's running at full speed towards mediocrity. Cut Jeff Carter, can't his contracts bio-approved.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Trade Brian Rust can't. He's on a full moon movement clause for the next two seasons. You'd have to retain salary or give up draft picks to move Gremlin to Ruta. Who in free agency or trade is going to revive this team?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The lack of youth in the system, you'd have a better chance of drawing water from a rock.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Remove more futures for JT Miller and John Gibson, yeaah, that'll work out swimmingly. Well, we all enjoyed the good times.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We get to be entitled little shits and want more food from Lord Stanley's table. Now we go down with the ship. The rest of the NHL will have no sympathy for our plights. I don't blame them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Football seven aside is played by athletes with cerebral palsy as well as people who've had a stroke or brain injury. They all have coordination impairments.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The sport has four sport classes. Class five players have movement problems predominantly in both legs causing balance difficulties. Class six players are affected by involuntary movement in all four limbs. Class seven players are mainly affected on only one side of their body causing unbalanced movement.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Each team must have at least one class five or six player and no more than one class eight player on the field at any one time. After the round robin stage, the top two teams from each group qualify for the semi finals with a winning semi finalists going head to head for the gold in the final.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Football 7 aside offers open attacking playing from skilled athletic players.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So the Pittsburgh Steelers have just signed Russell Wilson to a one-year deal.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I am so happy right now I can drink myself into a scooper.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A wonderful flick on from Unkunco.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sailing was introduced at the Atlanta 1996 Paralympic Games as a demonstration sport before becoming a medal event at the Sydney 2000 Paralympic Games.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The sport is open to athletes with physical and visual impairment, and the classification system is based on four factors. Stability, hand function, mobility, or vision.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The sailors are classified with a sport class from 1 to 7, with 7 indicating the least severe eligible impairment.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Event two is the Scud 18, a two-person keelboat. The crew should be made up of at least one female sailor. At least one of these sailors has to be classified with two points or fewer.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Event 3 is the Sonar, a three-person keelboat consisting of any combination of male and female sailors.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The total crew is allowed a maximum of 14 points. No advantages given to a crew with a total of less than 14 points.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Each event consists of a series of up to 11 races, weather permitting.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sailors accumulate points according to their position after each race, with one point for first, two for second and so on.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] At the end of the racing, all the points except the worst score from each team are added together. The winner is the sailor or the team with the lowest points total at the end of the races. This is unique to the Paralympics, unlike the Olympic Games where there is a one-off final.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Penalties are given for rule infringements, with the offending votes having to perform penalty turns before continuing around the cause marked out by boys.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Tommy, you missed the fucking ball! You were gonna fucking hit it!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, of course. Of course, back beatbox can't stop being the biggest frickin' reject of life!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, uhm, how much you want for it? I'm looking to get thirty thousand for it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It can go nowhere near that. I mean, this is a, it's a one-of-a-kind. It's, it's baseball history. It's one-of-a-kind, but just in that series alone, there was 140 one-of-a-kinds.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Bowling. Roll the ball straight ahead or give it a little curve.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Knock your opponent off the platform while attacking and defending.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes, they did. 1948 was the last. And they also won one in 1920. Okay. It's been 62 years now and they're still trying.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Everybody knows Mickey Mantle, so any Yankees fan, it would be like the Holy Grail and something like that. I'd like to get $1,500 for it. I'd be negotiable.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I hadn't had time to do that. Any idea which thing it might be worth?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm glad they're gonna bring somebody in. We're hoping that it's often indicated and real and worth a lot of money and we can do some good things with the money.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I'm a treasure hunter, and I'm not gonna be discouraged by this one setback. I'll be back out next weekend, uh, trying to find, uh, the Holy Grail.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Three years. Almost three years later, that's crazy. Wow, that is crazy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm expecting the extermination squads from the NFL to hit me pretty quickly, so I'm about to go into the witness protection program right after this show, just to let you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm surprised they actually mentioned the full name. I feel like they'd say like, new tree or tree or, or even schlosser. I don't expect the full name to be mentioned on there cause it's kinda not really that kosher.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You can always trade up worst case scenario. So I think like even if the Bears, for example, have one and four, they could technically both get Caleb Williams and Marvin Harrison Jr. They just might have to trade up for it. Like that's, that's very possible.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] With how bad the NFC is, let's be quite frank here. Seahawks look fraudulent. They look bad. Really tough schedule coming up. They look very flawed. Let's talk about this. Minnesota Vikings have been circling that drain, especially on Monday.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Their biggest issue is they haven't played a full 60 minute game, but they're still winning because they have the talent, they have the ability.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, Jalen hurts can turn can. They still have a str with Deandre swift best


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Their biggest issue right now is their secondaries banged up the heck in back.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And that's just the main issue and that's just injuries that happens to everyone and they have enough on the front for just to compensate for it. If they can get past pressure and like a four man rush, they'll be fine.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was that team. They fell apart at 2006 Bears.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sorry. I know like, there are a lot of asterisks with this one even though you do have a lot of like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Solid wins, I will say so. Like uh, the Browns win, you didn't play Deshaun or Nick Chubb, you played DTR and he fell off.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, the Vikings, you didn't have Kirk Cousins, you had Josh Dobbs, they had three random turnovers. The Bills, they kept shooting themselves in the foot. They would have lost if they had too many 12 men. And then Kansas City, like their whole team was...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Completely out of sorts. I have no idea what happened there. So is that there's something in the back of your mind that thinks like, okay, is this like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, what went down was there was a big, they actually made one of the biggest changes in franchise history. The Steelers have never fired a coach mid-season since 1941.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Before that happened, the Japanese were yet to attack Pearl Harbor the last time there was a mid-season coaching change. It was week two of 1941. Burt Bell, future commissioner of the NFL resigned from his post after being traded along with the entire Philadelphia Eagles team to Pittsburgh. And it was just a mess and they had that change.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And Matt Canada, if you've looked at his offenses, how he schemes, his formations, play calls, it's...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's a, it's a middle sch we ran in middle school, down screens and run play It was very uninspired, safe. They didn't use the


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That in a nutshell, complete miscommunication on a bunch of different angles. And now that you actually have a different coordinator, actual play calls, first play of the game.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Quick pass, inside slant to Pat Fryermuth, who they have never used this year.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] For about 20 yards. And that was the whole game. It wasn't anything special. It wasn't anything safe. It was an average offense.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Under the Mac Canada era, they had not had an offense at over 400 yards a game. They did that in the first game since Canada came back, since he was fired.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, it was a, it's a combination. It's a two team. It's a, Eddie Faulkner is the interim offensive coordinator. Mike Sullivan, the former Giants offensive coordinator is the guy calling the plays.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Honestly, look at their schedule for the rest of the year. Look at their schedule. You've got Arizona next week, New England, Indianapolis, Seattle, Baltimore, and Cincy again.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know. I mean, I don't know if they won the division because Baltimore is still going to be on their heels, but they do have tiebreaker against them because they won their first game. I think it comes down to week 18 and I know that is very weird to say, but


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, Kenny Pickett looked a lot better than he did these last couple weeks in that game. He wasn't perfect. He did have his flaws.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But he was seeing the field a lot better, he was a lot more efficient. The running game looks stronger too, especially since putting in Broderick Jones instead of Chuksekora for.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So as long as you get that as like, if you get like a complete win like that, and I know I'm saying it's weird because it is a complete win. And I haven't said that in years. Like, I don't know. I'm more in shock that it actually happened. I'm dead serious.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I want to see more. I do want to see more. And these next three games you have to win.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I have no idea. It's a combination of a few things. Uh, first he's been frustrated with his, uh, with the lack of offensive production in combination with things. He had gotten into a verbal spat with a position coach in the Cleveland game. He had to be carried off by Broderick Jones.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] At halftime of that Cleveland game, he got into a shouting match with Minka Fitzpatrick and he had to be solid up there. He had issues like he had mentioned his frustrations to the media as well. And the play before that catch was what should have been a touchdown.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] really nice ball by Kenny down the middle. He didn't didn't challenge it. And he was upset and frustrat


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, he could be gone. I mean, he's probably, I don't know if someone's gonna take on that contract.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But at the same time, I mean, it's not just him, like, uh, Najee's, uh, vocalized his frustrations too. Uh, George Pickens, he had his frustrations as well. And I think that's part of the kind of kinks you have to work out as well, you know, getting out of Mac Canada.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And these next three, four weeks are going to be very crucial because once again, you're getting into a surprisingly easy slate of the schedule and you need to take advantage of it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think so. I think so. I mean, as I said, like, you have over 400 yards of offense for the first time since week two of 2020.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] and you're able to actua and not be forced to rely two, three turnovers or t these huge splash plays I mean, I don't even want You can get an average of


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] playoff game and the two pick it. He doesn't turn t clutch. I know like the looks like crap for a good game. I mean this past ga


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So if you get like random clutch, Kenny picket, fourth quarter drive.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It would be either him, or uhm, could be uhm,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] JJ knew him from Arizona. Arizona had, uh, really emphasized Trey McBride as their starting tight end. They're trying to get a youth movement and Zach Hertz realized, you know what? I'm not going to play. I want to get another championship. Request his release and, um,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm gonna be honest, I think Philly's the play here because he's already been there before and Dallas Goddard's injured.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think he could be well as a depth linebacker, but he's just, if you're expecting all pro Shaq Leonard, he's, he's not going to be that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think he could fill in there because Zach Cunningham's injured. We don't know how long he's going to be out for, so that's maybe why he signs there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] With how bad Seattle looked against San Francisco and they haven't, they're terrible in the red zone. They take too many penalties on defense. Uh, Rick Woollen got benched, even though he's still injured. Gino Smith still looks like he's injured. He's not the same. No canine. I think Dallas takes this one really easily. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Blowout. 31-10 Seahawk, or 31-10 Cowboys. Oooooh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was thinking about doing one of those then. I'll probably do something else then. Uh, my next video is going to be Paris viking's greatest game and which I


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Fun fact, uh, Tom just, uh, riffed a little John Mayer, and John Mayer, big fan of this show. So, uh, hope he, hope he heard that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] John Mayer, fan of clickbait sports. Somebody make that graphic for us.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You should get, you know, like they had all those, uh, they had that like sports illustrated swimsuit thing where they like painted on the swimsuits and stuff. I want you to have a painted on Packers tux.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You, you have to, you have to wear the shirt you have of me, the Brandon Perna shirt.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm so glad that I'm married. And I don't have to do this right now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've got something I'm reading at this moment that's weird.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If the Cowboys win Scooter, uh, I will...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Be waiting for my thank you card and my gift basket.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Shitting on the choices of Italian food they are given to choose from in the second half of the video.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's not Italian. JP, got your initials in, my initials in your initials, we just mind melted.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We beat the Chargers this week and we're right back on track, baby.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I mean, the AFC is just so weird right now. We're game back. So it sucks that we lost to Houston. It was the game they could have taken the reins. But they didn't, they didn't win. They had a chance to win.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The bangles are rocking with Jake Browning who I'm working on a video about right now. So it's like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're saying the AFC is wide open still. It's wide open and we play, we play the Chargers twice. I feel like we'll split that series cause that's just what they do against the Chargers. We got a tough game against the Lions, but then we have, we have the Raiders and Patriots. So we've got a very winnable schedule. Um, Raiders always play.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They did, yes. They, I mean, no, the Raiders now have the longest win streak against the Broncos. It's like at seven games. So we got to snap that too, to break all our stupid AFC West curses.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Why did, why did you guys let Robert Spillane go? Was that just like a


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right. There's, there's some of that. And then like one of the other things that has improved is less dropped passes, right? Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How much is that versus like the receivers getting maybe just playing better or just


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Him and the receivers being in sync and more on the same page, you think?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Did you get the new microphone for Mina's show or did you get that just for us?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Anyways, Adam, is there any truth to like the stuff about Brian Dable?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, well I saw like, he was like, the worst argument Wink and I have had is over him, then he made some joke, but, uh, I was wondering if like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I saw like another thing about like, players didn't really like him that much, uh, but like, I haven't seen any like, things substantial, but I don't pay close enough attention.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That McDermott 9-9-11 speech really worked. Maybe that'll save our season.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do you think the offense scores more points for Trubisky than they would with Pickett?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, I gotta pick the, I gotta pick the Broncos, but the Broncos have had weird luck at SoFi against the Chargers.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] While losing to the Chiefs every year and while losing to the Raiders every year, we split with the Chargers. Doesn't matter how bad we are, how good the Chargers are, they go one and one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And each team usually wins its home game, so I'm just a little scared.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, no, I mean there's, look, I have crap on the chargers a lot this season. But leading up to this game, I gotta dial it back, because...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I just imagine the Cowboys players and the Eagles players at the coin toss to start the game are going to shake hands in agreement and say to each other,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Thank god you're not the 49ers. Oh thank god you are not the 49ers.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] One of the, one of the five, because there's two food groups they list off here. You gotta get us a table, you gotta get all five food groups on there, and you gotta give us a little recreation of Tommy DeVito raiding your Italian food.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is it because it looks dumb when it's being thrown through the air? You'll have to find out tomorrow.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Did she reach out to you or did you reach out to her? She reached out to me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Not until the last 90 seconds.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Panthers video. We did Panthers and then I got a Jake Browning one. I should have a... Who the hell is Jake Brown?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Let's just, now everybody get uncomfortable.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If my experience with ownership change is a precursor, they will not be better, uh, this season.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, maybe the season after, but...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was, like, somebody posed the question, like, who's the worst owner in the NFL as Dan Snyder leaves? And I'm working on a video about the Raiders and the Browns' draft history and which team's actually been worse because they both have been so bad. Yes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If your problem is the owner, it affects everything. So assuming the new ownership group is an improvement over Dan Snyder,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It makes it a lot harder, like, if their philosophy is to fire coaching staffs too soon, to not trust GMs, to...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Not empower and pay players to rip off their fans, to have a terrible fe- like if you could go down the list of everything Dan has trickled down that is cancerous, uh, in terms of like productivity and success, then yeah, he is the epitome


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Of how a bad owner can screw over your organization.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think you should just leave right now. This has been the perfect interview. It's the peak.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Canadian in this year's draft. Marcus, tell us, which Canadian won't cut off everybody's head?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Denver Broncos don't have a pick until the third round because that GM you mentioned


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] John Schneider, the devil, uh, robbed us of all of our draft picks. Uh, who's a player?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You can see falling to the third round that you think is going to be a great draft pick. Doesn't have to fill a bronca's need, but just like a guy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Who, if he's available in the third, any team should get him, but more specifically, my team should maybe move one of their two third rounders to go up and draft it. Cause I don't know shit about the third or fourth or fifth or sixth round of this draft or even the second round of this draft. Because that's, I don't want to study it. So tell me who I should want.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Did you guys watch the Chargers game against the Jaguars in the playoffs?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think, I think the best case


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, you got the Chiefs Bank Robber down there. Oh boy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Saquon holding out, thoughts? Love it! Don't play a down for the Giants this year, Saquon. I agree. Tom, thoughts?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, tomorrow, if I can get through the edit, I've got a...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I wrote it this morning. I was like, I'm banging out a quick, fun,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You've seen the actual emo DAC though, right Scooter? Say it again? You've seen the actual emo DAC.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I have subscribed to the Patreon for the hour long Tom Brady AI stand up special. I will be watching that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's not even unpredictable, it's just like, it's sloppy. And most of it's just like, who makes the least mistakes? That's really what it's come down to.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, America's team for me, like we lost on Thursday night to New England because Tomlin can't beat Belichick. I mean, our offense is terrible because there's no Kenny Pickett. Mitch Trubisky is a significant downgrade over Pickett, despite what a lot of people were saying.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's, that's the issue with America's team right now. It's, it's not good. We've lost to two straight, two win teams.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And we're somehow in sixth place in the playoff race, so I, I, I don't know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But still, like, their whole schematics are bad. Like, there's no discipline, there's no structure. Like, Jack Campbell's been having issues. Like, he got benched a couple weeks ago. Like, the Lions defense has been... bad. And Jared Goff has been... bad.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And the problem is, like, Green Bay and Chicago really opened up a lot of people's eyes because, like, there are two games they should have won and they got just smacked. That's fair to say.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We need the Vikings to help us, because uhm, wait, wait, you said that too, because like, I need the Steelers to leapfrog them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I appreciate you taking me for the under because I thought that was going to be free money. Same thing that happened against Arizona. Uhm, offense played like crap. The defense was falling apart early. They gave up 21 points to a team that hadn't scored four touchdowns in a month.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And they made Bailey Zappi look like they were Tom Brady. The team's out of inside linebackers, but the secondary was pretty bad. The issue with our defense is if you can't get pressure with a four man rush.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're gonna have huge problems. And the Patriots O-line was able to hold. Bailey's happy at time, was able to find reads, and that's how they got exposed.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, things are so bad in Pittsburgh that Steelers fans are chanting for Mason Rudolph.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And Mason Rudolph got booed in preseason games. I remember in a game in 2019 or 19 when he was coming back from a concussion. Four drives he didn't work out and they were calling for Duck Hodges.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, uh, TJ Watt and Alex Highsmith are, were fresh out of Concussion Protocol, so they'll be starting. Kenny Pickett will be out once again. We'll be kissing the titties against Indianapolis, which is surprisingly for playoff seeding and both teams are playing over their head.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, Gardner Mentshu and, uh, Mitchell Kissin' Titties. I would say I know, um,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Miles Jack is probably going to be close. So it's, uh, slum pickings and, uh, there are a lot of questions that need to be asked and answered. Yet we will somehow get to nine and eight and probably slither into a seventh seed because this is how the Seahorse roll.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And the problem is we're gonna get crushed and we'll be dealing with the same crap we've been dealing with for five years. So what do we gain from that?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cool. He needs to go back to kissing the titties. Uh, 94, I was 6.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I thought we saw an extension though before the year. I'm not sure.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, uh, commanders are definitely really, like, very, naaah. Sam Howlett, sir.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know about that secondary, dude. I mean, Belichick could probably fix that god awful defense, but I don't know about anything else.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think he's gonna be a commander's coach. I think they're gonna want to make a big splash.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My only question is why go to Sao Paulo when you have Rio de Janeiro? That's the only thing I'm thinking.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I approve of it, I think it's fine because you're not going to have a time differential either. I think Brazil is only about an hour.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's not this. Not really, but there were some good things about Alpha Europa. It was a developmental league and it really showed that certain fan bases like Germany, I mean, the Reignfire, Frankfurt, um, the Barcelona Dragons, they were solid.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There is a territorial right for Brazil for the Miami Dolphins. So if there's a team that goes to Sao Paulo, it will be Miami.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Francois Leroux, the old penguin. Ooh, is that a good one?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He was more of an enforcer. He wasn't really that good, but I mean, he knew how to punch people. So he was a typical enforcer defenseman. Boogie Down Productions, got it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No Justin Herbert, no Kenan Allen, Josh Jacobs is officially out, uh, Max Crosby's banged up, Devontae Adams has illness, and uh, it's gonna be one of the games of our time. And speaking of which, don't you dare mock this guy. This is a legend right here, man.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think the Raiders are going to pull it out of their butts. Somehow.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hmmmm. Didn't we have a punishment on clickbait? I forget what it was.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Vikings vs. Raiders. I'm hoping to have that out tonight, but, uh, it's going to be one of the games of our time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It sounds like a mix of The Count and Vito Corleone. Yep.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What was the punishment? Oh yes, my punishment idea was that, uh, Brandon should have to dress up like Taylor Swift.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, two things. If, if Russ Wilson goes to the Steelers, Tree, I think a pro-po punishment would be you creating Brandon's football boner video. But like, sarcastically.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And also the thing with Russ is like his skills are clearly declining. So anybody that acquires him is acquiring a rapidly depreciating asset.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so, like, I just don't see him carrying the steel. Like, why wouldn't, how is he better than Kenny Pickett, who seems to have a higher ceiling?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Then, well, he is better right now, but why would you continue to employ a quarterback who's going to do nothing but decline when Pickett has the potential to increase?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Here's the thing though, like you just said, you're not trying to inflate his value, right Brandon? No, he's frustrating to watch, but he's not the worst quarterback.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's what it seemed to me. But you even said, I want to, I want to take your words. Well, I'm going to paraphrase your words, Brandon, you know, what, what was his stats last year? 28 TDs and six or seven picks. And you said, don't let those stats fool you. Cause he was actually pretty bad even with those stats.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's fair. That's fair. That's kind of a Daniel Jones syndrome too.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think you're gonna get, uh, punished. I think Taylor Swift, you might be, um,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Might want to put that cheerleader outfit in the shopping cart now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You don't know the one, she wears short skirts, I wear sneakers. Yeah, love story is an easy one. She's cheer captain and... No, like I do!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Anyone in the audience that's young out there, any young single males, learn the Taylor Swift songs because I went out with JND, uh, they live in my town, uhm, and


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Some 22 year old girl was singing that song to me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Lord Taco is paying your mortgage, Brandon Perna.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What are the future plans for the New York Giants? Okay, so let's talk about Barclay. Barclay is likely not going to be a New York Giant unless, like, he would be doing himself a disservice to re-sign with the Giants. Like, on the open market, definitely a team like the Cowboys will overspend for him just to kind of stick it to the Giants.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Maybe even a team that's desperate to establish a run game, like the Patriots or something like that, that is just looking for, uh, a veteran running back, but,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, the Giants have to kind of let them walk. The real debate now that I'm seeing online is, you know, do the Giants stay at 6 and take Joe Alt?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Caleb Williams, which I don't, you know, he's going number 11. But to me, I think the Giants should draft Joe Alt, stick with Jones one more year. You're probably, if he's garbage, right, you're going to be in the same position. You're going to be in position, top three, to grab another quarterback.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Or you make the playoffs again. Joe Alt would be that piece that you're needing on that line. Cause then you can move Evan Neil.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Lime for the giant. So alt is the right pick if you ask me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If they, if they draft alt, there'll be less salt from me. That's...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I would, I would very much like that as the pick. And yeah, Daniel Jones, as long as he stays healthy or whatever, you know, if they end up being ass again.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Then you're in prime position with a good line to add your real quarterback. I think in today's modern NFL, you need a stud quarterback like a Jordan Love who's on their rookie deal, you know, or a Caleb or a CJ Stroud who's on his rookie deal where you get a star at a discount and uhm.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But yeaah, I would rather see the Giants do the smart thing than the, you know, Washington commander, like offseason splash thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, but watch the film, right? He's, he had a great story. He had his linsanity run, but he's limited. Okay. And yes, he could be the second, he could be the backup quarterback for sure, but he's not, he's not, there's a reason why he was Daniel Jones' backup.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Did he, cause Scooter got a video of him and he looked like surreal. He doesn't look like a real person.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He is AI. He's not an act. He's a hologram. He's like the Tupac hologram.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's because of AI. Yeah. It's all AI's fault. Alan Iverson, baby.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think rbt was there. Did you see rbt that when he, did you meet rbt sam?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I also think that it was hilarious that they gave you like the worst seats possible.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes. How did it feel standing next to someone who's that good looking? And you're just, I mean, not that you're not a good looking guy. It's like, you're just, like, did you feel like you're not even the same species as him? Like, what, what?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Was there, and I don't know if you've talked about this with Brandon, was there anybody at the award show that you were just stunned? Like you were like, whoa, that, I, like you were, you had star, you were starstruck by them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Were there any hot chicks? Did you see any beautiful women where you were just like, oh my god. You know, that's a natural question to ask. You saw, you're telling me you saw CMC. I wanted to know if you saw any like, outstandingly attractive women.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, you guys need it. You're good on quarterback. Lucky you. You lucked out again.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That always surprises me. I mean, they don't watch me, but they, you know, oh, there's another hundred. Let's see. There's another hundred. It ain't me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's crazy cause like a fastball is going 97 miles an hour. Yeah. Just like twice as fast.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Have you guys seen that old clip circulating of the, it was like a pro bowl skills competition where like, Drew Bledsoe throws the ball, like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He looks like he is as great to strangers and people as he looks on camera. Like he looks like he would just be a really nice guy. He was super nice.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do you think that Godel would grab some goons and just take you down in the, into the basement and just take, you know, you would never be seen from again, if you. Yeah, I wouldn't do it. I'd just be like, no. You got to meet Godel too, right, grassy?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right. Look at you big-timing the other fans. Uh huh. You're so nonchalant about it now. You really are different.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, it's not even better. So I would love to hear what Isaac punts has to, he's a former D2, D3 punter. Yeah. Punt expert. When we talked to him on the dumpster fire, he said that, you know, Matt Ariza wasn't even the best punter in that draft.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And maybe they see it as, you know, they, they've got to kind of be wizards with the cap and they're getting Arisa at a discount for sure because yeah, he's going to be on a rookie deal and maybe he's.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's gonna, but you see how they very, uhm.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They got it and there's probably not going to be much pushback or, or, uhm.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, Bill's Chiefs is getting up there. They are really not liking each other. You know, Bill's Chiefs keep beating the shit out of them. Yeaah. It's like Steelers New England.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We do need rivalries. We need hate. We need pettiness. Why do we watch reality TV for the pettiness?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do we have anything else? Should we just call it?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A skirt, yes. And yes, a, a Kelsey jersey, probably, or maybe one of those jackets, you know, like dress as her at the Superbowl, basically, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, he's gonna have forced cameos in whatever show that is hot at the time. You know what I mean? They're trying to build a show around it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They should have a show where it's just Jason Kelce and Ryan Fitzpatrick, like, basically going to, to...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, it should be man versus food, but it's Jason Kelsey and Ryan Fitzpatrick just going around eating whatever awful food in every city. I would watch that in a heartbeat.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Shirtless. They would have to be shirtless in the coldest temperatures, drinking beer, and maybe having a frozen beard.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Brandon and Tree and Tom, you all, we'll talk after the show and you can give your guesses as to who you think it is.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, look guys, we got two punishments coming in hard right now. Oppenheimer on top, pin on bottom, we got a scooter, we got five.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, and today we got Jim Irsay saving a whale for 20 million dollars.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] While not paying Jonathan Taylor, so it's gonna be a fun show!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Ah, shit, and the Hall of Fame game is tonight, baby! We got Jetson Browns, Zach Wilson's show. That's all that's happening.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Deuce Vaughn, give us your Deuce Vaughn take, Scooter, cause all I see are highlights of him being short and fast and inspiring men like me to keep on going.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, this is, it just got funny when this story about him wanting to pay, or going to be paying 20 million to save a whale. I feel like we heard about that a little while ago.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But then somebody savvy just put that together with the fact that they refused to pay Jonathan Taylor.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, you're getting an upgrade. Nice thing to do, I'm not saying you shouldn't be doing it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But it's just, uh, hilarious timing right now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I plan on watching none of this game intentionally. I will watch and see Twitter chiming in about what Zach Wilson did and did not do well. I will be looking for an over under on Zach Wilson and, uh, somebody's mother jokes. Really the only two things that are going to happen in this game. If you're actually looking at it as a Jets fan,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Then you do have something to watch and seeing like, I don't know how long Zach Wilson's gonna play, but if, if he just looks better than he did last year, then...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We should power rank all the NFL brothers one day.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, as far as I can remember his entire career.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] All I can remember is him sacking quarterbacks in less than a half a second.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was just like, there was three seasons. Okay, that's fair. But he was injured quite a bit in his final season.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Him and Vaughn Miller had one of the most insane pass rushes I've ever watched in my life. Like the duo, like I expected them to get a sack every series.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And that wasn't like just being wishful, it was like, they're gonna get a sack. Like one of them's gonna get a sack right now. And it was just insane. Here's a question.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We lost linebacker Jonas Griffith, uh, also just like Tim Patrick, he was not on the field last year also because of injuries. Uhm, so we're exactly where we were last year.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know. I could go more mobile. All the news that I have is just injuries. So, we're gonna just detach. I have some news.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In practice, uh, by, by the, by the defense.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] At least for the first half of his career. Guarantee it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Also never trust anything a man named Shady tells you. That's just good life advice.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But yea, that, you know what should have been a bigger story is Travis Kelsey throwing haymakers at his own teammates.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, but it's like you're, like, if you're gonna talk about, like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Kelsey knows better. He apologized for it. Plus he plays for the Chiefs. C'mon guys, let's get this. Can we throw Travis Kelsey under the bus if we're gonna throw, uh... A mustache!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's, that's what this like, we're in that part of the season where football is, is technically back, there are things happening, there are practices happening, but if you ever, if you ever been to a training camp or any of that stuff,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Not much happens. Only things that are exciting at training camps, usually, you know, one or two cool catches. That's what you see with George Pickens, right? Making these insane catches.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Fortunately for George, he does that in regular season football as well.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But the only other thing that's super interesting are training camp fights. And they really get juiced up when two teams are playing each other. So.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I did a short today about, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The All College Name Team.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because a video I've been doing for years, suddenly other people are doing it. Oh. It's destroying. So I said, well I better get a video up too.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, one of the guys on the list followed me on Twitter, so I followed him back, and then he DM'd me. I'll reveal that tomorrow, on GPS.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is what's missing. This is what puts the Cowboys over the top.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Literally the top rated linebacker coverage performance throughout his tenure thus far.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know, there were a lot of things that you could say go this way or that way and we win or lose.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You look at everything, Dak is a top 10 quarterback in this league. The stats cannot be denied.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Meanwhile, we got the Giants and the Panthers coming up next, so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you would have told me, George Pickens had...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Two receptions for negative one yards.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My team is playing five's team this week and we just previewed the bills. Is there anything else that's going on in the NFL that you guys want to talk about this week?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm gonna say this game will not be the worst game of the year. I also have the Panthers though. I'm gonna go 24-20 Panthers. Fair. What about, what about you Trey?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, you ever try to eat like a, you ever leave a sandwich out and let it spoil?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That was Sunday. Like, I got all excited for this sandwich. I got, you know, I waited till 8 o'clock.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, the thing was, is Tree and I were streaming it on the dumpster fire. Guys, everyone subscribe. Uhm, and...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] On the five yard line, push themselves back and then.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, they try to kick a feel goal and it gets blocked and run all the way back and it felt like the game was instantaneously over from that point forward. It was ugly.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, yeaah, it was a 40 to nothing shut out, but kicking conditions were not good. Even, what's his, who's the new Dallas kicker? He missed a couple, uh, kicks.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But it was uh, it was ugly in every facet of the game. Not a good start to the season.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And now we have to go, uh, to Arizona in a must-win game. We have to win this game. Because what is it? What's the percentage of a team going 0-2? You do have to win.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, I'm not, I should be concerned because the Giants laid the biggest egg out of every team in the entire NFL. Uh, Arizona, a team that is intentionally pretty much tanking this season gave the commanders a lot of trouble.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, we just cannot be, uh, folded repeatedly like a bunch of chairs at a wedding, post wedding, the way that we did against the Dallas Cowboys on Sunday. So, you can take it away, dunk, do whatever you want. You deserve it because we suck. We're bad.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm surprised Canary's toner reactivated his Twitter.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Did he like wash his gloves in uhm,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So for something that made him, made him like miss the ball. Here's the one thing I just wanna, I wanna throw Dave Gettleman under the bus and just back it up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He drafted, Dave Gettleman drafted Kedarius Toney, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, malcontent who can never shut up. He drafted Eli Apple, one of the most hated corners in the league. That was another Gettelman pick. And he also drafted Eric Flowers who also


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You just love, like does nobody look at these guys' character at all before bringing them in? Like those are three, like especially Apple and Tony are two of the most hated personalities in the NFL ever. And Dave Gettleman thought that those were good picks.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Ron Artest coming out of Syracuse was like, this guy's a leader. He's a, he's a gamer. He's a baller. He's not going to do anything on the court to mess up his, um, his career.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wow. I don't know. I mean, that's first name. I got a question just before we go on to the next segment is which member of clickbait sports do you think would have the most character issues as a, if our ability were all the same athletically, who do you think would have the most character issues on an NFL roster out of the five?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How are they going to crack down on their, do their job? Like what is the enforcement here? Cause like, isn't their, the line judge, the LJ, right? Isn't that their job?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Didn't the Eagles lose like both their coordinators too?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My thing is, like, why didn't they run the ball, though? Like, they should have been running the ball. Like, and Evan Neil actually had a decent run rating. Like, they could have ran behind him, and they just didn't.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And their first drive, the opening drive was effective. And then they started doing that cute play action thinking that they had to pass or correct that deficit that they start. And then, you know, they got, they did through the pick six and it was just, it got ugly. Yeah. Anyways.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, as in typical Thursday night, awful, it's going to be an awful game of some kind. Either one team is going to dominate or it's, it's just going to be ugly football because we're only two weeks into the season and we're only playing a Thursday night game. Two ill-prepared teams. I like the Eagles to win. Yeah, by two touchdowns. I can't, I can't give you a score, but, um, yeah, I think the birds win this. The Vikings did not look good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'll get eight hours of sleep. You need that energy. That's a good one. Yeah. But you have to document it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know. I mean you have to, I mean we could give you one reprieve in the middle so you could change the battery.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, I'll take- Just film yourself sleeping for a little bit and then call that a go.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] On January 31st, the year 2000.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's, I'm very excited. It's gonna be sick. It's, it's gonna be good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Damn it, Scooter. I'm great. I'm wonderful. I was in the midst of editing, and now we're here, and then when we get off, I'm gonna edit again, and then I'm gonna stream, and then I'm gonna do a video.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, yeah, I mean, this one happens to wear these bracelet things now. I don't know what the next one's gonna do, but whatever. Just gotta keep working. That's it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, that's the thing, I don't think there's any upcoming rushers that are necessarily gonna break Bose's contract, because like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't think Chris Jones, I think Chris Jones is a really good player. I think Bossa got that contract because it's a combination of his talent and skill, but it's also his youth, right? Like he's a young dude. Like Chris Jones is a little bit older and I don't think he's going to command that kind of money. The only other guy I can see commanding that kind of money is Micah Parsons.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because I feel like Rashaan Garry, like, his contract is coming up as well. Like, I don't think he's gonna get BOSA money. It'll probably go up because of BOSA's contract. But I don't think it's gonna supersede it. The next one who's gonna supersede it, in my opinion, is gonna be Parsons.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like regardless of quarterback, obviously I had Tom Brady throw to him, but like regardless of quarterback, he's been that guy. So yeah, if he doesn't fall off a cliff this year, absolutely take a swing on him. If you're like the giants, why not?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Did you see, I think it came across Twitter, I think it was yesterday the other day, I honestly forget which talk show it was, but they were saying like there's an argument to be made that like Baker Mayfield is gonna have a better year than Dak.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I was just like, that's interesting, like considering like you have Godwin and you have Mike Evans if they're throwing the ball a lot.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Don't you and me. So you think that Baker will have a better year? Oh, 100%. Then Dak.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think expectations, if you're the Lions, I mean, if Kelsey's out,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Then I think expectations are going to be a bit higher. But right now, like, the Lions, of course, they want to win the game, obviously. But if they're even just competitive tonight, then like, they're going to be looking real, real good heading into the rest of the season. If the Lions win, and especially if they have Kelsey, the parade's already going to start. I think for the Chiefs, you know, this is,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, cause again, if you're the chiefs, what's the worst case scenario?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You don't win. They have a tough like first five weeks. You don't win a few games. Oh no. So you get the second or third seed. Oh no. Like that's what I mean. I think the chiefs are going to be just fine. This is a bigger game for the Lions because if they get embarrassed, which I don't think the Lions are going to get embarrassed tonight. If they do, it's going to be like, Oh, this is a problem.


[User] Please transcribe this text


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I uhm, I hope, and uh, cause again, I'll be streaming every prime time game again this year. So I know what I'm doing to myself.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I hope that the Cowboys Giants game is the worst game in the history of the NFL. I am so effing tired of seeing these two teams play week one on Sunday Night Football nearly every year. We got a reprieve last year. It was nice when they played Monday instead. Cowboys played Tampa Bay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's just like something else, like put them week three, like they can please Sunday Night Football, that's fine. It just seems like it's always week one, it's Sunday Night Football, it's Cowboys, Giants, and it is so damn boring.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, no, yeah, no, but honestly, yeah, I think it's going to be a competitive game. Uh, I really hope Christian Watson and Romeo Dobbs are in there just so we can't play the excuse game at all. Um, but yeah, no, I feel really confident about the Packers. I think they're going to come out and they're going to look good. I think they're surprising people.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, because they started off really bad and then they wound up like going on a tear. I think they lost the Panthers near the end, but they were one Seattle loss away from being in the playoffs, right? So like they earned it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I want to make it very clear, like the Bears, like the DJ Moore edition, I think is going to be phenomenal for them. They're a rebuilding defense, right? On top of that, like their offensive line is a little banged up right now. I know Tevin Jenkins is banged up and I think they're going to be a better football team.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, I actually have the Steelers for like the upside of the week. I had that before Bosa came back, but I just, I don't know, like I feel like maybe the 49ers come out a little bit rusty and it's at being played in Pittsburgh. Yes. It's going to be rowdy. I got the Steelers winning. Let's see if Pickett can kind of.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I already have to do a hype video for the Bears pre-season. If they win, then I'll do it for post-season and I'll make it even.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, I got the North saga starting today. So the NFC North reaction to the off season, that's going to come out within an hour.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And yeaah, that'll be, that'll be that. And then stream it tonight, baby! And then it'll be a reaction right after the game.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Only team on earth to lose to Zachy Wilson twice. Uhm.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Other than that, uhm, that game is so far in the past and the Broncos play the Chiefs tonight.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'd rather us, a little later in the episode, focus on the Broncas and Chiefs game because 1. Yes, we know Swift's gonna be there. 2.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We also know the Chiefs have defeated the Broncos 15 straight times. Three, we also know the Broncos stand almost no chance to beat the Chiefs because technically they have the worst defense in the NFL right now and quite possibly one of the worst all time defenses.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We traded away Randy Gregory wasn't playing. Now they're talking about trading away or just cutting Frank Clark.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is he's not playing and we, we signed up. So there's two edge rushers gone and our edge rush has been bad, but I just sort of heard a stat today. It's actually the worst in the league getting pressure about 14% of the time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And we're gonna play Patrick Mahomes, and for the first time in his career, he's playing...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The worst defense in the league, so, oh boy. And I still think the Broncos are going to beat the Chiefs. Quick question.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Was Frank Clark an inside job by the Chiefs?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How to be, how to not be the worst defense?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't think, I don't even think Russ is necessarily safe, but, uh, I think Patsy or Tan's safe.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, there's a price for everything. He is a guy you want to keep on defense. Jerry Judy is, I would say, 99% gone. 99%. That's probably the most rumored guy to be traded. There are teams who actually would benefit by trading for Jerry Judy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Um, he's heavily criticized here in Denver, but he's pretty good receiver when somebody can just get, get him the football. And I think.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The, the Panthers need him, but also the, apparently the Colts have called on Jerry Judy a few times. And the Colts also, that I think, uh, makes a ton of sense.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I think Judy's gone, Cortland Sutton's kinda up there in terms of somebody they've, we've heard is possible, uh, to be traded. And Justin Simmons, uh, on the defensive side is another, uh, guy who has a lot of trade rumors attached to his name. And


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's because Judy's good and Simmons is good and they could provide value wherever they go. And I was thinking about this today.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The broncos have been sellers for like the last four, five, six years. All the way back to like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Dealing, uh, Demarius Thomas to the, to the Texans, Emmanuel Sanders, Akib Talib, like we've just grown accustomed to them just trading away guys we love and


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Guys, we're already like, you know, we're probably not gonna bank on anything good happening for the rest of the season. So let's get some draft capital for these players and build, which we just have never built anything.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, Demarius Thomas hurt because he went to the Texans and we had to play him like that same week.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Von Miller didn't hurt? Oh, and Von Miller in there too. They sent Von, you know, to the, to the Rams and I was actually happy for Von to go to a good team and he won a Superbowl.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But then they had a chance to sign Vaughn this offseason and they chose Randy Gregory.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And just traded him to the 49er. So basically my point is, everything they've done is wrong.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What was it last week? Now this happened a while ago. I had to purchase.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I had to buy this $700 stupid wrestling belt, which was punishment enough.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Spending $700 on this was punishment enough. It looks like it's worth it though. It's heavy, it's stupid.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But no, that wasn't enough. Then you guys said I had to make a wrestling hype video.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So this thing took a month to arrive. What is it? Wrestling promo video, right Tom?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I didn't really research what a promo was. In my mind, it was just a wrestler talking trash, hyping up the match or whatever, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So this is what you guys got. Another punishment where I think everybody else truly is punished instead of me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do you at Scooter, if you're going and it's like for them, do you get to root for a team there or do you have to be neutral?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No. Look, he has peanuts, got Kettle, with his F the Cowboy shirt.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was going to say it's very rude of Steelers fans to keep bringing that up all the time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My, but my prediction is, well,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We're going to be live streaming it, so uh, make sure you come watch the whole thing with us.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm optimistic the Broncos can win for one reason. Two reasons, actually. First reason?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] 16 straight losses to the same team.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's just improbable. It's like, to me, it feels like it could be one of those games.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Where the Chief should win. They should win easily. There's no reason for the Broncos to win this game, but something weird happens. Some weird mojo starts, I don't know, snowballing in this game and the Broncos, for whatever reason, get the win to end the streak. Just because, I don't care what sport it is.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If that is not a sign that things are going to turn around for this team, I don't know what is. And everybody knows what Bigfoot video I'm talking about, correct?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, we're taking for ca- We're trying to get number one, Scooter. We're trying to get the number one pick.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Every part of my brain that is thinking about the future is like, who cares if they lose another one to the Chiefs. But when I woke up today...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When I woke up today and I started thinking about this game, started thinking about streaming it, I'm like, I really, really, really want the Broncos to win this game. I want it just to snap the streak.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I won't turn their season around. I do not believe that for a second. You can't have a defense this bad. And their run defense is really bad. So if it is windy, Pacheco might have a huge day. But I want them to win it because


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The best thing I could do in terms of making a video after this game...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is the Chiefs losing to the worst team in football?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I would force Russ to be Caleb Williams' personal chef for a year.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, I wouldn't mind having Russ, uh, while we had Caleb Williams or Drake May, one of the top two guys, uh, to ease in whenever they need them to. Uh, we've seen, I think, the benefits of that, but...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know if Russ is the right quarterback to have in the room with a young guy, but.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think like, it's, it's, Russ was playing well, and...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I feel like the, the national narrative about Russ is like a week late.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Something that's getting lost in the Broncos' losses is that Russ has been playing well. It's true, but last week was his worst game.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But if he can continue to do that and play well while they keep losing, then there might be a viable way for them to move him. I don't know where, but yeaah, I think...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Anything, if you're sitting in the top two picks in this draft, then...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Nobody's safe. Russ is not safe. Like, we can eat the dead cap. We can eat the 80 million dead cap. Our ownership has that money, so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. No, no, no. I think like obviously we heard a lot of Seahawks talking about, not a lot, but like Richard Sherman coming out. There was nobody defending Russ last year when everything was a train wreck. And the opposite happened.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] People were taking shots at him, former teammates were taking shots at him, everybody was piling on.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was like, now that he's playing poorly, they felt like, unable to do that, and it was weird.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, I-I-I still didn't love it, but...