[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because you never want to be that guy where someone comes up and they're like, hey, what's up? And you go, oh, you want a photo? And they're like, no, you're standing on top of my kid. And you're like, oh god, so sorry, yeaah. More times than not, I'm standing on the kid.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're getting blown right now. Uhm, but if you- Clouds maybe? I- I do suggest, if you have like five or six friends,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just kinda look for them, they're fun to do, uh, most of- it's all your first times, right? Yeah. Yeah, I've done one with Joel before, and I've done a zombie one with Freddy before, and the zombie one, I felt like the dumbest person in the room, cause he just surrounds himself with really smart people, so I was just standing in the corner. Oh, okay. But the one we did, I thought was...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, it didn't feel like you had to be like a super genius to figure it out. You just needed some sort of like common sense. So.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, I think that's another thing too, that's a, what is it, that's like a, that's a famous quote, someone says like, you'll see a true man when he's put into like a, a stressful situation. A puzzle room? Yeaah. Well that's kinda what it's like, and like part of me was like, I wanna see Bruce break down. And he didn't. Why would I ever break down? When do I break down under pressure?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Bruce is rock solid. I don't think I've ever seen those things. I've never seen you break down under pressure. I'm like, maybe the puzzle room will do it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, new season of Venture Brothers is fantastic. Start it. All of you, please. Support it. Please. If you wanna watch something good instead of Space Jam.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We're starting this network and you guys can react too for money.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well I mean like, uh, the comparison that I drew, and I don't know, like I'm not necessarily sure if this is exactly the right comparison, but it's basically like an MCN. So like, they said like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hey, you guys can give us money even though we're already rich. And it's for these things that you have to do. Not us.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And you're gonna give us a little piece. Now that does make sense in the sense that, for example, if you make something Star Wars related or something Marvel related and you start selling it, you do have to give Marvel or Star Wars a piece of it. That's part of licensing. Now that makes sense from a business standpoint.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right. And that's, that's sort of the difference there is that like, you know, YouTube I think has always looked at as like the little guy is making videos, uhm, and not making, you know, hundreds of thousands of dollars and millions of dollars a year. So it's weirder when a, a little guy YouTuber is telling me, now you guys can give us more money. It would make us even more rich. Like I think that's strange.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I think, I think the thing that we, I don't know, we always talk about this on YouTube, and I don't know if this is, we say it often enough, is that the appeal of YouTube is that everybody can do it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, when all of a sudden the Fine Brothers are telling, like, this would be like, if we came out and were like, alright guys, we're trademarking the fact that we're making fun of video games in our style.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And we are gonna charge you now to do this. So if you want to make fun of video games like we do, make sure you license our thing and do the whole- no, there are-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Thousands of YouTubers that make fun of video games just like we do. And we understand that's part of being on YouTube. That's one of the reasons we always talk about like, the clickbait thumbnails and the clickbait titles and like making ridiculous titles and thumbnails. It's cause we need people to watch. That's how we get people to watch. So instead of


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Reaching out and trying to trademark, you know, what already was a thing in Mystery Science Theater. We just, we, you know, we work with the medium that we're in.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And that's honestly, that's the way that business person came up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So you know what the, do you know what the best business does when that happens? They innovate.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They then find something new and they get good at that. And if you look at Apple, if you look at Google, if you look at these giant companies, they don't sit on their haunches and go like, we made the best cell phone ever. Now shut the fuck up. Nobody else makes cell phones.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Where is this? Uh, it's on the, like Fine Brothers website or something. It's on the front page of Reddit right now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They, they, they apologized and said, we made a mistake. Like, they, they, honestly, they admitted it, which I appreciate. They were like, they're like, fuck, you know what? We totally overestimated this. This is a, this is a thing that we probably shouldn't have done.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We were afraid too, cause like, it was like, we were in a rush, they were like, they're


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Fiji was wonderful. I'm glad that you guys had a crazin' time. Well the best part about crazins was that I, I ate so many of them that eventually I was, and this is not a joke, I was shitting whole crazins. You gotta chew!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So uhm, in the, there was a shared bathroom that a lot of us were using and I walked in and I was like, well, holy shit, and there was this giant spider. I mean like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, let's see here if you can see my fingers. It was probably about this, about this size on the wall. Uhm, and, cause it, it was either like a larger, it could have been a larger insect or a spider and it, we counted it had eight legs so it was definitely a spider. And it wasn't moving. It was totally in the daylight.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I was like, hey Aaron! And Aaron knew immediately what it was. He was like, oh no. And he walked over and he's like, he's like, oh shit, that's a big spider. And I was like, yea it is. I was like, so here's what we're gonna do. We're gonna scare it onto the ground and I'm gonna hit it with a fucking shoe.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He starts spraying it. All of our bathroom stuff is in there by the way. So he starts spraying, spraying, spraying. Spraying a ton of bug spray on this, uh, the spider and everything else in the bathroom. Our toothbrushes and all this other garbage.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Um, sprays it, stops, it like, it's legs start twitching a little bit but it's not falling off the wall. Uh, sprays it more. It's uh, eventually it flattens out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, go do a puzzle room. Yea, go to the, go to the Agni room in Sydney, Australia, or just another puzzle room.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I got a new bed a couple years ago, and I went to, I went, this is a true story, I went to a mattress store that was going out of business, and I was like, you know what?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I wanted to get a mattress, I finally got a mattress, and let me tell you, I've been sleeping real nice. I've been sleeping so nice, my back doesn't hurt, it's, uh, it's supportive for me, and yet comfortable enough for the


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Where you just lay and then maybe like on your back and you just type. The moment that Casper makes a mattress desk, I'll buy it. How was that, Lawrence?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, Bruce, can you please snap this disc for me?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So uh, what segment are you going to show us from Rise today? So we figured, you know, it's Rise of the Tomb Raider, what better piece of content to show than a tomb. So, Rise of the Tomb Raider is a commitment to bring Lara back to the tombs, and this is the first one. She's not looking so hot right now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, she just recently had an encounter with Trinity, and uh, to set up where she's at, a helicopter has shot down her jeep, her jeep turned, uh, crashed, and now she slid down a mountain, and she's at the precipice of discovering this tomb. So, there's already stakes and a threat, uh, on her way to find the Prophet's tomb.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That she understands the world is dangerous and that there's this world of secrets that she's uncovered that she can't understand yet and she hasn't fully, uh, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We're giving you new traversal abilities.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So uhm, I'm gonna translate one more mural here. I think I have enough.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yep, I think I should have enough here. And now I'm gonna be able to translate this monolith. What's great about that is, is it's not just a cool archaeological thing, which is, you know, key to the franchise, but it also un, un, allows you to uncover these hidden caches throughout the world. So let's now uncover this location.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And she will go through a lot to do it. So that's where our survival flavor made perfect sense for what it really means to be an, uh, an archaeologist finding ancient secrets. It's not a safe sport.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Either you, you, you kind of get a thrill from that or you go, man, I'm never going to do that again. I'm going to make sure I'm, I'm going to perform that better. So I don't have to see Dara, Laura die in a horrible way.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, but ultimately look back at our source material and we try to make sure that we are being true to the character. Where do we think, you know, Lara would want to go and how do we want to evolve her story? And there's a number of influences that sort of help us define what it is that is going to be the next great adventure for Lara.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And we looked at all, all the media around immortality, and there's, there's very little, uhm, known about the lost city of Kotash, which is actually built on a Russian myth.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is something that's not so well known, but yet, if you guys know Voldemort, the idea of


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Reinterpreted through modern lens and, uh, but we're going to the root of it and telling a story that not many people get to see.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And physics puzzles have been a staple of the crystal dynamics recipe of trying to make real as much as possible the activities that you're going to do. It's a way to contextualize them in the world.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, but yeaah, there's not many video games that go 20 years and, and, you know, our job is to make sure that we're keeping, we're being good stewards of the franchise. And, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Our developers are big fans of Tomb Raider, but we also know that we want to continue pushing the gameplay and the character forward. So we hope that we can make as much as possible the fans of the classics happy with what we're doing, the decisions we're making, but also hopefully get a whole new crop of fans that might have never played the classic games.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, the combat loop is definitely important to us. It's one of our thirds, you know, if you think about the pillars of Tomb Raider, you have your exploration, you have your puzzle solving, and of course you have your combat.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I can start to mess with the AI and move them around, but there are going to be consequences for me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm creating a distraction and I have to move. I have to use my mobility and, and you know, deal with them either.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Evade them or find a way to take them out silently or, you know, I can make a choice to go straight ahead and do the combat, run and gun. So it really comes down to your player preference and how you like to play combat that we wanted to try to reinforce on this game.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Or you can use the materials you've gained, you've acquired in the world to, to create, uh, affordable explosive or a Molotov cocktail. So that, those were big additions to the systems is give you more to, to, to play with while, uhm, uh, in your cover system.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Speed up my, uh, my healing. So before we had regenerative health. We've actually slowed that down, so it now takes a lot longer to heal. But what you can do is craft a bandage and craft on the fly. So that gives you fast, uhm, healing that you're, you're managing through your resources that you collect.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, same thing with the poison arrows, like every single resource I pick up, whether it be a mushroom or a piece of cloth or wood, they have different recipes and then depending on how I use that resource, I can get different things. So we wanted to get this mix and match resource gathering that you then make strategic choices about how you wanted to do them. So there's a little bit of a trap combo.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That, that is one of the things we sort of believe why our completion rates are so high. Because we pace it in such a way where players don't feel fatigued. They feel like, I want to keep exploring. I want to, I want to keep going. And you try to, because Lara has this, you know, and we're in this genre that allows you to find


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So uhm, I'm showing you guys a little bit of the fun things you can do to collect. A lot of people ask, well this seems linear. Well in these spaces, this being one of our smaller primary tombs, there's going to be a lot of things to collect, challenges to complete.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And if you scour the environment, you'll find all of these XP crates, you'll find more journals, we're just going to explain more about the story, and of course, you're going to be able to find


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So you'll have, uhm, let's say a special weapon that you have, that you're really interested in, or that ascender that you might have liked from the last game that allows you to zip up, uhm,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So there's just a lot of things that we're trying to feed into that encourages the player to explore, find things, and eventually just make their character as badass as you can make them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is, this is not a place you can fast travel back to until you reach the end of the game and then you'll be able to fast travel back to this location. But fast travel is a big, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We just got a new map that, uhm, allows us to see more of the things that we were missing. So I got that map, now I know that there's a document I'm missing and there's a challenge object that I can acquire.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah. And another thing that I can talk about too is we talked a little bit about crafting. Uhm, there's going to be so many more elements that you'll be able to use for crafting. And once you have those elements,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, and then what else can I tell you? Oh, uh, you know, we talk a little bit about tombs, but in addition to tombs, we've added from our exploration spaces, uh, crypts and caves. And those don't necessarily have puzzles, but they are fantastic for discovery and adding more story to the game.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, so, expect when you get into these hubs, which are now three times the size of the last game, you're gonna be able to find so many more things to, uh, discover just naturally.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Instead of like, over-forcing the player to say, hey, look here, and here's a challenge to him, we're gonna let you just organically find them on the path.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, you know, for a story-driven game like ours where you really, you know, you're trying to express that Lara's on this journey, you want players to go all the way to the end so they have an idea of like, oh wow, that's really what happened and that's how things resolved. Uhm, now I will say for those that haven't played the original Tomb Raider,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Rise of the Tomb Raider is a fine place to, to slot in. There is no, you're not gonna be lost. There are some characters that we, that we throw a nod to, like Jonah was in the last game. But this is really a standalone story. But we encourage everyone to go back and play, uhm, the, the first Tomb Raider reboot as a means to, to really fully understand where Lara's at in her journey now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, but, uh, yeaah, at this stage, you know, this is a great time to get in if you've never played the Tomb Raider game. You're gonna get a really nice, uhm, uh, completed story from beginning and when you pop in the disc. And, uh, the other thing that's nice too is we've created some add-ons and some things that you can do, uhm, in Season Pass that are


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Taking the franchise with a little bit of a grain of salt, like, we were a very serious game, we tend to put a lot of drama into the character, but now we have the ability to create chicken bombs in post-game, you know? Stuff that's not obviously something you'd put into the primary game.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But if you're running around with Lara and she's got a head that's four times the size of her normal head and she's throwing chicken bombs, it's a pretty fun thing to do as a means to expand your play experience. Cool.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, the lighting engine's been rewritten and there's so many features that we've added to make sure that Lara performs better. And also, you know, I spent a lot of time just discussing the gameplay upgrades. So it's all those things that we've built on for the definitive edition.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, Brian, thank you so much. I really appreciate it. I hope you guys play the games, November 10th in the States, 13th in the UK and Europe and, uh, you know, elsewhere in the world. I think it's the 12th in Japan. Please, please, please check out Rise of the Tomb Raider. It's gonna be a dope game. Please do. Cool, man. Awesome. Thanks a lot.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Probably like a warp zone or something. Warp zone. This game's stupid. This game's really dumb.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Welcome to a, uh, Japanese bowl of dude soup. It's just full of panties. Chalk full of them. That'd be ramen.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, panties. What? They're ground up, and then pressed into- pressed into noodles. Lawrence, I've been to Japan.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We're playing, uh, for our audio-only listeners, we're playing the, the hit, new release, Umihara Kawase. For the next ten minutes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We're playing it til James gets a game over, cause there's no continues in this piece of shit. Cause it's from 1995? I'm just throwing a number out. I don't know. Woah! Nice moves!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Anyway, James, uh, I have a question for you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What band that hasn't yet done a James Bond theme song should do a James Bond theme song? Garbage. That's close but wrong. The answer is Tears for Fears.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They did? I haven't seen all the Pierce Brosnan's. Ooh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We gotta, let's get on to our discussion topics. That's okay, they're doing work back there, no problem.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I dunno. Yeah man, we're going, we're going deep and hard.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What are we talking about? Uh, we got a couple of hard-hitting games, journalism topics this week. This is normally something I don't like to dabble into because I think it's pretty incestuous, but I think this week we can some pretty interesting take


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah. Uh, I know that, I know that, listen, I know we're all very concerned about censorship in the media. Cause we censor ourselves all the time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We bleeped that. Oh bleep it. That just got bleeped. Sorry. Uh, sorry everybody, but we're bleeping everything. Uhm, and all games are gone forever. Good. Because, uh, the censorers are getting their way.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, it turns out that Dead or Alive Extreme 3...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The very valid, very important video game is not coming out in the Americas. What? I'm sorry. Why not? They're not localizing it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The, the hourly 4chan thread of screenshots from Dead or Alive Xtreme 3 is going to have to shudder, because this game is gone forever. Uhm, trying to find, you can't link to replies on Facebook, so that's cool.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I will elaborate. Uh, people, people like to use those terms interchangeably. Uh, localization and censorship are apparently the same thing. So is uh, doing a market study and figuring out you're not gonna make your money back. That's also censorship. But in this case, Dead or Alive Game on Facebook wrote, uh, and I'm gonna read this verbatim because the translation's kind of adorable,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do you know many issues happening in video game industry with regard to how to treat female in video game industry?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We do not want to talk those things here, but certainly we have gone through in last year or two come to our decision. Thank you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So essentially, essentially like, the, the changing landscape of games culture, in the West, seem, and I'm interpreting from their bizarrely translated message, has, uh, has led them to decide that it's not smart to release a game that is purely about staring at poor, like, very, very scantily clad women. Uhm, so, what I find interesting about this is, when


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When basically, like, Tropes vs. Women came out, and it kind of elevated that discussion of how women are treated in video games, or rather, it, it, it, it, it- Discussion or shouting match.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So the way I interpret it is, damn, what are you installing? Oh, Assassin's Creed.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, to kind of kick it back, the way that I always framed the discussion in my head, or how I interpreted the anger around it, was that one side was just like, hey, we would like more diversity. That's all we want. We're just tired of games that are about murder and fucking. Like, kill-fuck games. Those are awesome.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You guys can go play those, saying you guys generically, cause women like them too. Cause who doesn't like kill fucking? Uh, but, somebody who's like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then, the way I interpret it is, the side who, you know, maybe the core gamer side or whatever, interpreted this as, you don't get to play your games anymore, you shouldn't enjoy your games, because your games are wrong and bad. Uhm.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, yes, you can import it, you can still do that, uh, and let me be clear, this is Dead or Alive Xtreme. This is not the fighting game.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, it does, uh, and I think it's part of gaming's history, and you can, whether or not you choose to like, I don't know if it's a question of choosing to believe, some people will say straight, yeaah, just look at the images, that's fine. Uhm, yeaah, videos, that's good too. So the narrative, as I understand it, is that,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The game crash happened, and prior to the game crash, games were marketed to families. Uhm, like flyers for home Atari systems showed the entire family around it playing. Uhm, the game crash happened, and then when like the Nintendo Entertainment System was coming around, uh, new games marketers were like, fuck, okay, we don't wanna crash again.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So we need to focus our marketing. And in the late 80s, the most profitable demographic to market to was 18 to 34 year old male. And that's, that's still true. Uhm, for, you know, market forces beyond, beyond what I can comment to, there's a lot of...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh yeaah, there's a mode in the game where you, you ass a girl off of a floating platform and her bikini pops off. And then she's like, no, my giant glistening titties. Uh, it's a very good game. Anyway. So in the late 80s, suddenly games started to be marketed exclusively to young males.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then they started to be developed for young males. Uh, and then that worked, so it kept happening. And then as, as markets tend,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Instead of like trying to find a new market like Nintendo constantly does, everyone just kept marketing to the demographic they understood. Which is the demographic they were programming for for the last two decades. So it kind of enters the cyclical problem where


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This game started to be made for young males, so that's the only market that's understood.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So instead of trying to branch out and finding new people, kind of like Nintendo did with stuff like Nintendogs and Animal Crossing, uh, less gender specific stuff, or like The Sims, like those games tend to break into new markets because they're more widely approachable, there's still a very like robust and understood marketing


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] System around making games for young males. And that's how you get giant TD games. Uhm.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, she's a nut. She plays Tina, actually. Good podcast. Yeah! Anyway, so it's, it's, it's not really...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The game did it for ya. The game crashed immediately. Ah, that's great. I'll try it again! I don't know, who cares. Uh, so I think that there are elements of that that will always appeal to everybody, but I think the gaming, the gaming marketplaces it is now is kind of a byproduct of certain market decisions that were made nearly two decades ago.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I would say that too. Uh, that's what, that's what, if, if I were in their position and that were the actual motivating force, I would say like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We're not, because we've done the market study and we're not going to make any money. I mean in adorable broken English of course, but uhm.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know, I kind of buy into the fact that they don't want to be at the center of like an angry, angry discussion about, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] About the ethics of games or whatever, I wouldn't want to be there. And, and if, I think, I think, James, you're probably right in the sense that they look at it and they see the amount of money that they're gonna clear by localizing and releasing it. And they're like, pffft, that is not a lot. Man, it is not, it is not worth the headache. Of even, of even trying, like, of becoming like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Number one on somebody's hit list, somebody's Tumblr blog or something like that. Like why, why would we invite that heat on ourselves when we're just gonna make like 50 grand maybe. So we'll just, we'll just step away from it and put that money into the development of the next titty slap game. I don't know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The, uh, also, uhm, I'm gonna, I'm gonna challenge some people that, that may be all, all the people that post in that fucking hourly 4chan thread. Uhm. You're one of them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I just, I just click on it, I don't post. Buy hourly. Yeah, uh, I, I think that...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like people, people like to really slam on Gone Home saying it's like a non-game, it's a walk around and read notes. Well guess what, if you're just like hitting buttons to make a giant ass girl like jump across floaties on a pond, you're not really playing a game either. And I think you should be honest with yourself about that. How's that not a game? I mean it's a game, sure, but it's, it's the same kind of experience. Like it's,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's not really a deep and complex mechanical system. Like on home, people like to call it not a game, but I think it's as a not- it's as non-game as Dead or Alive Xtreme. Is what I'm saying.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Man, that's, I think there's something broken in my head. Cause I, I, I heard like, On Home's pretty good, check it out. And then I did, I just bought it and played it on Steam. So I didn't know it was supposed to be propped up as a horror. And I never got that sense at all. Like sometimes the light flickered and I was like, oh that's kinda neat. But it was never spooky to me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I never ever got the sense it was intended to be- oh Jesus Christ.


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[Assistant] I've heard that from a lot of people, so I'm willing to bet that something didn't fire right in my head.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, uh, not Xenogears, the other one. Xenoblade. Xenoblade Chronicles X. Uh, there is a 13 year old character who is suddenly wearing more clothes and people on the internet are decrying censorship.


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[Assistant] How dare they. Yeah. You, and I think- I want my freedom back.


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[Assistant] They also took out the boob slider from the western release of the game. Or, I don't know if they took it out just from the western or entirely. Is that a boob slider?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But they took it out, now all boobs are medium sized. Cause Nintendo, uh, is fucking us again. I prefer innies. So, I guess, uh...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wasn't this the Dead or Alive where they were like, we're gonna make our girls sweaty. And like all the marketing materials showed like beads of sweat rolling down girls.


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[Assistant] Every young girl goes through a glue phase. They pour glue on their chests? One day I'll be a real woman.


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[Assistant] Yeah, there was a, there was a part in the E3 demo I played where there's like this, you like drive this truck into a lingerie shop and it explodes, and then he just sits there and does like a Shawshank Redemption while burning panties like rain down on him. Censor! I was like, that's pretty funny. What the fuck is going on? Alright.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you're concerned about censorship in your games, you can do your part and participate in the development of an actual video game. With Lenovo Game State, we're actually participating in this program, and it's pretty cool. We got to go and meet the developers of Dark Rift, which is an upcoming tower defense game, even though it looks like it has some twists on that. Why can't you move? Oh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, uh, yeaah, these, these are some X-Blizzard dudes and, uh, we got to talk to them for a little bit about what they want to do, and essentially the game state program is, you go to the website, you can check the, check the description for a link there, but you can go and like basically talk directly to the developers, you get to like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Say what you think about all the assets they're putting in the game, about the story and stuff, I think, let me check what the first, they're in, they like do it in phases, right now they're doing good guys, bad guys, and weapons. So essentially you get to like vote on concept art, and they said that they, they actually do listen to the feedback, cause that's the whole point of the game, right?


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[Assistant] The, uh, for all like the, the spirited discussion that happens around games and around censorship or whatnot, uh, I think sometimes people lose sight of the fact that human beings make video games. And it's all a bunch of people that go into the office and put in a lot of hard work, and then this product comes out,


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[Assistant] And they, I think the human connection gets lost sometimes, so that's one of the things I really like about this program. Is that you can go and talk directly to the human beings making this game. And, if you...


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[Assistant] One of the, one of the things I was like, kind of worried about is that this, this program would like, capture some junior developers who were just in it to get their game published, but that's not the case at all. These guys have like-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Shitloads of experience, they worked at Blizzard for cumulatively like over two decades. And they have a lot of interesting stories and a lot of experience developing games, so just listening to them talk about


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, the weird craft of game development is very educational. So, if you guys have any curiosity about the actual nuts and bolts of game development, I think this is a great way to learn about that stuff.


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[Assistant] Uh, so if you go to lenovogamestate.com, uh, you can tell them your thoughts and suggestions for characters. Your input will allow you to collect badges and get on a leaderboard, if you're the type who, uh, enjoys gamification of all things.


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[Assistant] Uhm, you can spread the word using the hashtag gamestate and follow updates at lenovo gaming on twitter. So stay tuned for gamestate update to see if your submission was chosen. And yet again, you can check the link in the description of this podcast to get involved with that program.


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[Assistant] Well, it's really thankless too. I think we're spoiled because we do like a third of the work of an actual game developer, and for some reason people like us more than the people who make the things that we play.


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[Assistant] So weird to hear these entirely fictitious things after the fact. Well speaking of journalism, Adam, journalism is back. Uh oh. About time. Yeah, it was gone, but now it's back. Who brought it back? Kotaku brought it back. Yeah they did. Finally.


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[Assistant] So, uh, yeah, despite my flip attitude, basically, uh, here's what happened. Kotaku posted, uh, or Steven Totillo specifically, posted a really long, kind of self-congratulatory article talking about how Kotaku had been blacklisted by, was it Ubisoft and Bethesda.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because they leaked marketing material and stuff ahead of date. Uh, at least that is Kotaku's version of events.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, not getting review copies or responding to requests for comment.


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[Assistant] So, uh, yeaah. So, yeaah, just to frame it properly, basically Kotaku, the article was basically saying,


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[Assistant] Uh, this is a consequence of what we did and, oh, from Virtua Fighter? Weird. Kira's in here. Kotaku's point was like, we did this stuff because we believe in journalism and we believe in serving you and not the controlling interests of game development, like the publishers. And essentially it's always been a tug of war between the two, especially when you have privileged information that could


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're speaking to a paradigm that is not really around anymore. Not by my estimation anyway. Uhm.


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[Assistant] No one's happy about leaks. That is just shitty. It's pure shit. And I know that.


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[Assistant] People work for years to develop marketing plans, and just because someone happens to get a PowerPoint presentation before they're supposed to, suddenly all that work is blown. Uhm, and that's a lot of real time and money that just got killed by somebody who wanted to leak information. We've done it! And I'm not saying that that shouldn't happen because that would be the most hypocritical thing in the world. Uhm, but uh, yeaah, the phrasing seems to be like, the subtext I read into the article was,


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[Assistant] The article seemed to imply that publishers should respect somebody's mouthpiece and their responsibility to reveal that information and not hold it against them. And furthermore that the readership should pressure these publishers into respecting that as well.


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[Assistant] Yeah, you hinted at something that I kinda said before, which is that the paradigm is different now. Totally. It used to be that outlets relied on access from PR companies, very timed and metered access, to make content.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So if there's a new game coming out, uh, you needed to write a preview for it, and people would read that preview, and uh, the only way you could generate that content is if the company asked you to come and gave you permission to view and evaluate that content early.


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[Assistant] And, and to be very blunt, like there was always this unspoken understanding that you don't go negative about something that's not fucking finished. Cause that's just rude as shit. Like if, like imagine somebody's working on a painting and you walk and you're like, painting looks like shit. You're gonna turn around and be like, it's not fucking done. Uh, so there were, there were a couple of articles, I don't know that Kotaku was, was,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They had to earn, uh, they basically had to earn a new audience's respect by being a little more aggressive and a little, like having higher standards kind of.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, sure, but this is how the paradigm shifted. Uh, essentially, like, some blogs started going a little more negative, and then lo and behold publishers were like, if you're just gonna shit on our stuff, why would we, why would we want to be on your blog?


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[Assistant] That doesn't make any sense. And this is when it gets so good you can't even write it. So, uh, Cotuck, or Penny Arcade ran a strip, basically in response to the Kotaku article. Uh, uh, and it was, god.


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[Assistant] God bless him, like, Pinniercade's getting more and more kind of San Francisco intellectual, uh, as it goes by, so it was a little overwrought, but essentially it was like a parable of a dude walking and talking to a scorpion on his shoulder, and it was all supposed to symbolize their relationship between blogs and developers. Anyway, the, the, the thrust was,


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[Assistant] And to a degree I can understand that. Uh, and you're, I feel like you're also kind of caught between a readership that responds to negativity and theoretically a genuine like of the medium that you're covering.


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[Assistant] Kotaku does a weekly post where they post a bunch of webcomics. And lo and behold, that week didn't have Penny Arcade in it anymore. And people were like, wait, why did you take their comic out?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was a comment, it wasn't like a, it was just, he was just replying to a comment. So, he was probably speaking with his own voice, and it's also a post that he puts together every week. So it's possible that Faye, he made that decision, and like, even though it was kind of incongruous with the statement of the outlet or whatever.


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[Assistant] But, uh, it's conceivable that those two things happen separately of each other, but yes, it is essentially like...


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[Assistant] But if you go to PR then, you're damn well better. No. You don't. Ever. With your little belly poking out.


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[Assistant] That kind of like informal, that kind of informal tone left, like,


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[Assistant] The, the vocal part of the audience demanded more like in-depth, more adult content, more like exacting content. And then I think that, I think the writers kind of responded. They're like, okay, yeah, we'll be adult writers. We'll write, we'll write introspective thought pieces. We'll write very heavily researched like five page articles.


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[Assistant] And the whole like, hip bro dude with a skateboard who just tells you, like, raps with you about a video game kinda went away. Not that that's a bad thing. But I think-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Once writers prop themselves up to be, yes, we're professional writers, we're professional adult writers, then suddenly the standards that the audience demanded from them started to grow.


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[Assistant] And I think that's when now you're starting to see like people withhold reviews because the last thing a written article can do is be wrong. Be like dead wrong. Because then you lose your clout and the audience suddenly leaves.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But you're catering to like the most demanding audience in the first place. And that happened because you listened to your audience, which is an understandable mistake to make. Uh, for us at least...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We strike the tone we strike because it's fun, uh, more people like it, and also because one of the- Jesus. One of the- one of the- one of the, uh, good side effects of it is if you get something wrong, you can just be like, oh, I guess it's just about video games, and I got something wrong, sorry bro.


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[Assistant] Well, I think, Adam, essentially what you're saying is, and correct me if I'm wrong, that, uh, written editorial got pretty templatized, uh, and everybody started doing the same thing because they saw it working for everybody else. And nobody really tried to push the boundaries and find a new kind of content that resonated with people because that's hard. And I think,


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[Assistant] I think there are some people who genuinely like writing about games, but I think most people that are in games writing...


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[Assistant] I enjoy those moments and they're rare when we just have those spontaneous moments. I'm saying the love is gone from our relationship.


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[Assistant] Adam, you know what, you know what else you need. Sound financial planning. He's right! That's true.


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[Assistant] Do you also find, Craig, that working on a full-time production schedule that you don't have time to actually watch anything? So... As far as movies, TV shows? Oh, I mean like other YouTube channels or anything?


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[Assistant] We, we had this conversation, we were talking to some YouTube people, they were asking us like a wish list of things that we wanted, and, uh, I don't know anyone, how many people here have like a Google phone or anything, but like, if you uploaded Google+, they'll auto make like a storybook for you?


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[Assistant] I'm like, they didn't say yes or no, but I like, threw that idea out there. Like, I would like channels to just like, pull clips, and then make a like, video montage for me, so I can catch up on channels of like, the best parts. Basically, because I just don't have time to watch like, a 40 minute video half the time, so. I don't know. That's cool. Thanks for watching this.


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[Assistant] I'm just saying, because I work in this industry, it's hard for me to keep up with other people's videos. It's something like, I don't know how many hundreds of hours get uploaded a minute, but it's actually impossible to keep up.


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[Assistant] Also, not to mention, people don't like hearing this, you don't own the game.


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[Assistant] Yeah, so it's like, it's not yours. I mean, I'm not trying to say that in like a hoity-toity, like, mean way, like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Legally, you do not own the game. You don't own software. You kind of lease it. It's like a crappy car. More or less borrowed, yeaah.


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[Assistant] That's absolutely true. Uh, it's- These are also the people who-


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[Assistant] I was saying like, I've seen this sort of behavior before where people are like, they will-


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[Assistant] They will love you and drop you the minute anything goes good or bad. So, like, the Gabe Newell thing really surprised me. Like, we've had what? 15 straight years of Gabe Newell's God, PC Master Race, he'll do everything for us, and the minute there's one thing wrong, they made a mod where you can murder the man.


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[Assistant] You'll, you'll leave me if I do anything wrong. Like, we always tell our audience, like, please be patient with us. If we try new things, we're trying new things to make you happy. Uh, we try to be experimental and please just trust us that we'll do, we're trying to make content that's good for you.


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[Assistant] I guess I can say from our, our small world perspective, uh, compared to like Rockstars, they've dealt with this for much longer and have seen it. So like, I don't know if they're going to try to appease the...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I had to tell a kid one time, like, hey, stop monetizing our stuff, please.


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[Assistant] Yeah, it's like, it's like I get what you're doing, like, you can upload it, it's fine, re-user stuff, like, or I guess, I'm not trying to put the word out there, it's fine, but it's like,


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[Assistant] Well this is the whole reason why they're being so forward about the anti-modding thing. Like with GTA 4, there was no way to give them money to play online. Now they have the shark cards. They want you to give them money. They found a way to keep


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Real quick too, so uhm, we briefly went over this on the new episode, and people may have missed it. There was a part where we said,


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[Assistant] You know, there are other ways and we're not going to say what that is, like Bruce kinda mutters it real quick, but all I know is I kinda keep up on the GTA subreddit and the GTA modding and all that stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, what I'm saying, I mean, it's the, the, the... That's cool. Yeah, it's really quite cool. Uh, the, uhm...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, but there's also, there's like so many different factors now with like different forms of marketing and PR agencies and just like, they have engineers now and artists on a video game, whereas that used to be the same guy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I guess, you know, I guess we could start off with our spoiler free talk of it real quick. Start spoiler free and then I'll back out. Okay.


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[Assistant] The little inaccuracies that I'm just like, this is so awesome. Like it's a perfect mix of cartoon and live action that I'm like, I'm just aware that I'm watching.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Essentially right now it's a cartoon with real life backdrops. I'm like, I'm okay with that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I see it as a comic book movie made for kids, and that...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Superhero movie or comic book you could watch or read. Where it's like, they put it, they have, they have the rape situation that they put in the movie where it's sort of like, these are super, these are people at their peak physical fitness level and they're just in these like high stress situations and like this sort of stuff would probably happen in real life. And it was like, it's really dark and it's moody.


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[Assistant] All kind of monsters and they rely on each other for like friendship and sort of compassion because there's no one else in the world for them. And Black Widow is the most outcasted character in a way, they kind of go into that later.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But, the fact that she found someone who she can, like, connect through, and it's a giant green monster, I was like, this is kind of Beauty and the Beast, but reversed. Like, I, I kinda like it. Like, sorry, I'm getting told to do spoiler.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well saying between her and Hawkeye, they're the two without any actual powers and they're kinda holding their own on this team. I was like, fucking good for them. That's cool.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] One, how you're like, they would just fight for no reason or something like that.


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[Assistant] I was gonna say, I was arguing with you guys saying like, I don't even think he's a villain, honestly. Like, I thought he was- What? He wanted to exterminate the human race! Yeah, that's fine, but he like, he believed it. Like, it's sort of like the same way like, uh, if you've seen Kingsman, it's kind of the same way I felt about Sam Jackson.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's like, I like, I like a villain who's not like, I'm gonna blow up the world because, I like when they're like, no, you're-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'll let you, I'll let you get to your thing. I just want to get this one, this one part out. I tell you guys this now, but like, I think there is a new genre of movie and it's basically just called theme park movie. Uhm, I don't go to Transformers to be entertained more than just to watch explosions.


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[Assistant] For anyone to be upset about Marky Mark's dialogue, like, it doesn't matter. Like, you're just there to watch stuff explode and just enjoy the spectacle of ILM's 200 million dollar budget. Like, that's really it. And Avengers is the perfect balance for me. Where it's like, I can do both. I can enjoy the dialogue and I can enjoy the spectacle.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But at the same time, I don't expect anything more than to be entertained by eye candy, and I like that that's a genre now, that I can enjoy movies like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I like that Avengers 2 that kinda, there wasn't a lot at stake. It was kinda like the Iron Man 2 of the Avengers, where it's like, yeaah, you didn't really need to watch this, but it was cool that it was there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, so it's like, it didn't really have much of an impact other than I read something online that the next movie is basically not gonna have any of those heroes in it. That was the setup shot at the end of like Falcon and War Machine and everyone was like, these are the new Avengers and like the rest of them are kind of-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hawkeye and War Machine and then you have the Civil War movie and then, you know, we'll get a Spider-Man and all that sort of stuff, but like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're, I think they're kind of swapping in teams, like they're swapping characters in and out, and I like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was a little worried. I'm like, I might get a little tired of Captain America and Thor's banter. And like, I like it for what it is. I like that I had enough of it, but now maybe it's time for Falcon and War Machine to have their silly back and forth and Scarlet Witch do whatever. I mean, you know, her thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's funny, I just had a moment right now, I plugged in my PlayStation 4 and I was, uh, I was loading on... Damn.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, but they're taking water out of the state at a crazy rate. With the, because they do all the bottling the water.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The fans of Destiny who are around now and are still playing and love it. It's like, that was the kind of game that they were looking for, but maybe the early haters.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, I think it's just like, you know, each, each project is different in, you know, it's own perfect, unique little snowflake, right? Yeah. So, I mean, just not selling it to be something it's, it's not, you know? I mean, uh, you know, I mean, like, like Ruby, I think is a great show.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Our sense of humor and our taste and our style is not gonna appeal to everybody, but hopefully it appeals to enough people. So we just try to stay true to the message.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I talked about this on another podcast and somebody's gonna call me out for talking about the same thing on two podcasts, but my, uh, my old boss in Hollywood, like when I used to live in LA and I worked in movies before Rooster Teeth started,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, and my old boss was visual effects supervisor, and he left LA to go to Bollywood, where he became the visual effects supervisor in a bunch of Bollywood movies, and one of them was like The Matrix of India.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In the same way, no. And I mean, we talked about that during the campaign, that, you know, whatever additional money that we got past the goal was just gonna help us make a more badass movie. You know, and that's exactly what we did. You know, it has two lasers now. It just had one before.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Logic in terms of adding up, you know, number of people and hours and times. That makes, kinda makes sense, but it also assumes that every game and every product has to be.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I just think we should support her, and I can't, you know, fund the Kickstarter with money personally, but I do have some leftover potato salad.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We're awesome. We're awesome. Who cares? We made like seven billion dollars. We're good, you know? But it's, it is, I mean, you know, we do stuff like that. I mean, it's, it's like the numbers are gonna come out. And so I think they just figure like, well, I just drop it on the table. You know?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, I guess I'd rather have it come to the viewer, but I don't mind sponsorships at all if they're organic and make sense. We had a few, not product placements, but like, you know, some


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You can totally, like, take this off in a totally different direction because it sounds like, yeaah, this guy has, you know, his wife and his mother want to go to the mall and he just has to go with them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That was one of the options. So there were like three different options they could choose. They could choose not to have a pay, like any kind of payment for their mod. Then there was a flat fee of what it would cost. And then there was a pay what you want version of which was basically a donation. Like it started like 17 cents and then you could go.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sounds good on paper, but like you think about it and like there's just gonna be lots of people that set things super high or like just ridiculous like


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Are you a father? You should be interested. No, but maybe I should do it for my father. Yeah. Real quick.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] For the most part, to sit and wait for an email to pop into your inbox that says, this is the news for the day, or this is the new trailer, go ahead and report on it now. Like, there isn't any digging for anything going on.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They can serve each other in this way by saying, yes, we will give you this amount of equity in our company of which the stock is worth a ton. And then, yes, yes, that is a lot of stock to give out, but like, that-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, like, they, it's like not going to disserve them to, to be selling stock at this rate. Like, it's just, when two big companies are managing stuff,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was just gonna say, back to the, the business side of things too, uhm, a lot of people, I saw several websites doing a breakdown of other big, big deals in like media, and it was like, oh well, Amazon bought Twitch for however much money.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, uh, and then Minecraft paid, what was it, 2.5 billion for Mojang and Minecraft and all that?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Those, those are big deals, but they also have to, like, they, they have costs. So when Amazon buys Twitch...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think the big takeaway from all of this is, is, I don't think this is for, the people who are watching it, I don't think are really these people, but a lot of the,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The, uh, people who flew in and said, how dare you say something like this. This is just an attention grab. I hope that for you, this is a...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well also, it looked like Adam was trying to play it, like running out of time. Yeah. Except that it's like, there's a time, actual time battle.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The time man's here. Calm down. We still gotta talk about this game for some reason. I'm gonna fucking get this base commander.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I like that he presumes that anyone reading this is more interested in him than they are in Rock Band.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And at least, at least it's not, it's not a review, right? He's not writing a review of Rock Band 4 with all this BS in it, right? But he must know that people are only clicking on this because they're interested in a game of which there is not that much information currently available.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So when he's talking about the wine spritzer or whatever he's sipping on while he's dreaming of his time from Thailand, I don't give a shit, alright? And I don't think anyone should give a shit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Also, also, I'm sure at some point in that article, I haven't read it. I've only heard what Lawrence said, but I'm already angry.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I guess I'll do it. Well, it's because polygon doesn't view itself that way. They're like the hard-hitting truth.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't think they're gonna do that. So it doesn't make sense to me that they would use Half-Life 3, and they'd say, this is the world's first shooter developed for VR, coming to you from Valve, exclusively on the HTC Vive, get it via SteamOS, like that makes a lot of sense. That's how you get your install base, and that's part of why you get developers on board. Now I can see behind closed doors them saying like, here's our game plan.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Gabe Newell's never been coy about Half-Life 3 being in development, he just constantly says we have nothing to show you and we know you guys want it. You're gonna drive yourselves insane if we actually talk about it all the time, so we're actually doing you a favor by being quiet. Uh, that's my paraphrasing. Uh, and then, so I don't think...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But if you're a business, you want, you want a steady, reliable, like


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So uhm, so personally I'm coming down on, I don't expect a Half-Life 3 reveal at GDC, but I mean I'm excited for Valve's tech. I think, I think the marriage of hardware and software vendor is what's really going to push VR.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's, if you go back down, it's like halfway. Gosh, could you, could you imagine a Steam OS interface, but in VR? So like all these, all these Steam deals are flying at you and you gotta like grab them and move them around and throw them into your cart. Absolutely. Oh, that's sweet. Oh, the other thing about the Vive I forgot to mention is that it has the same tech as the Crescent Bay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So it's got IR sensors all over it. So basically it can detect the dimensions of the room you're in, in addition to tracking your head movement.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Valve, it's not enough of them to just put tech in a game. They want the game design to reflect the tech the game is based around. So, in Half-Life 2, you had, you know, dumbass puzzles where you had to stack up bricks on one side of a plank to run up. Like, cause the physics was part of it, it wasn't.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like the tech is all there, it just requires the time to make it workable. So yea, you're right, a headset doesn't need to be expensive, we'll see. Cause there's gonna be, you know, R&D is gonna cost you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But, so just to give you guys some background on who this guy is, he is, he's presumed to be an insider because he says a lot of things that end up being very right.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, but he was talking about how uhm, developers, this was around PS2 eras when he started developing games, or directing games. He said at the time, you know, we had so much storage that it was tempting to just...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But then, uh, he was talking with another developer, Yuji Horii, that gave me Dragon Quest. Of course we all know his name, but, uh, he, he quoted him as saying,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He then said, I got a lot of op- and he talked about Professor Layton, which level 5 also made.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And he said that at all times in Professor Layton they had a little thing on the screen telling you where to go and how to get there. And he said, quote, I got a lot of opposition from other company employees over this as well.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There was worry that those well-versed in adventure games would find restrictions on finding out what they had to do unsatisfying. But he says the opposite's actually true.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So he actually addressed, he addressed that specifically. And that's part of giving somebody a very small list of direct objectives. Uh, he summarized it by saying, it's gonna sound really obvious when I put it like this, but...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But as professional creators pile on the years, they have a tendency to become characteristically eccentric with their design.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's kind of an interesting, uh, paradox because Skyrim is full of stuff and is one of the best selling RPGs of all time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I'm a little concerned about Fallout 4 given Bethesda's...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I'm, I'm really interested to see Fallout 4. Mostly because I'm interested how they're going to structure and present the world and the content and the quest to the player.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I wouldn't say it's necessarily a problem they have to overcome.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But it is an interesting, interesting side effect. It's one of the things that honestly does kind of...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Make me shy away from Skyrim. If I ever look at my others log and it's just- Yep.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] 40 quests, and then like I go try to track down one and it turns out the NPC was eaten by a bear 20 hours ago and I don't remember that. Or anything like that, so. Yeaah, it's a, it's an interesting point of discussion, uhm.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm gonna be a giant turd here and say that Half-Life 2, to me, is really similar to a movie like Blade Runner.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Where the first time I saw it I was like, that was okay. I don't really get what the big deal is. And then...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I would go back to it maybe every couple of years and every time I watched it I'd be like, holy shit. I would draw connections between things that I didn't really see the first time. There'd be a lot of subtlety that didn't really click with me the first time. Half-Life 2.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, Half-Life 1 is kind of blunt, 2's storytelling...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I played it on PC and I was like, this is like a crappier Half-Bite. Except it's about 6 years late. Uh, like Half-Bite 1.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Where if you play it and you're, you for some reason have God's virtue on your side and you're allowed to play it on your own without anyone telling you it's great, you


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's so many like little open doors for you to explore in terms of like the lore and the story and the characters that if you do that on your own it gives you a huge sense of ownership over it and you feel like it's your thing. Like you were there and you lived it and found it on your own.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, I can see why, yeaah. That's a bummer. And I've wondered to an extent why certain, certain works, and I hate to put it like that because it sounds really fruity, but...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah, it's just, uh, cause I remember, uh, when Half-Life 2 came out, I played it and I was like, this shooter's great. And then I bought Raising the Bar, the book about the development of Half-Life 2, and I read that. And reading that even gave me a lot of insight into the world of Half-Life and all that stuff. So...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And you would just, you would just be like outside in the Arizona desert. Uh, and all you would hear is like the wind blowing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Portal was really unique, it's the, it's one of the first, it's one of the first genuinely funny games I remember playing. Because up until about, about 2005, funny in games was just being wacky. Like Earthworm Jim.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, well, uh, audience, we'd love to hear from you. Why don't you in the comments let us know what half-life means to you, and maybe what your half-life memories are.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, let's look at some community highlights from Roosterteeth.com. Uh, some people left some comments on the last podcast. Let's read them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So remember there was that series of logo designs that were all based on the Funhaus logo. There was one we couldn't quite play.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But being able to play multiplayer with bots, similar to one of the first Red Faction games with the original Xbox that also had bots that I love now yet can't seem to find nor remember the name.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So there was an interesting, I didn't, I never really appreciated that about Battlefront, because that's like a window of gaming that I was able to skip. Uh, like console games that were strong enough to have multiplayer matches with bots, but didn't have internet access yet.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So Star Wars Battlefront is the only video, again, of my 55 year old dad, Will Foo. He's more excited about the release of this new one than anyone else I know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, and then Jazz322, always swing. There's a lot of extra letters that I extracted.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Location there. And the anus is floralized and possessivized. Anuses. Anuses.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Juan Riviera, Juan Rivera, hold on a minute, I gotta change this layout here. This is all kinds of fucking up. Oop, that's not right. Oh no. What do you need here?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, updated it with Funhaus. Nice. So, there's all the little faces. Yep.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, there's Funhouse on the right hand and then the Sizzler Adventure on the left.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I like uh, man this is just cool. If I were a tattoo man, I would get these.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then, uh, I am spooked at, uh, on Tumblr.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, I'm not sure if he was the one who did this because I saw it earlier in the week and couldn't find it when I was looking for PenR, but somebody did 3D print keychains, which I would... keychains?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Keychains, which I'd be totally down with. My keys are looking a little sparse. I lost my Mega Man. Need a replacement. Uh oh. I know. That's kinda sad.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm gonna sneak in there, commando it, blow it up, take it out so you guys up top can start to do orbital bombardments, take out their walkers or something like that. It'd be really cool to make-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, so we're talking about something that, uh, according to certain people on the internet, is equally as terrible as murdering people and stuffing them in a bag.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, a game publisher decided to get a video taken off of YouTube.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it's very bizarre. One of the quotes in that was that this anonymous tipster said that Konami wanted to, quote, burn the entire Metal Gear Solid franchise to the ground.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Start licensing that shit out, but it gets more complicated.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So the video implies that this whole move is kind of tied to the pending legalization of gambling in Japan. And since Konami is pretty deep into pachinko and slot machines, they stand to make a lot of money off of that. So it would make sense for them, from an industry standpoint, to shift from gaming to that other kind of game.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, the problem is Konami issued a DMCA takedown on that video, and it got taken down.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, so I did some researching on DMCA and the rules of fair use and all that stuff. And here are just some interesting talking points. Uh, so from Wikipedia...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, YouTube has reported that taketown notices targeting competing business made up over half or 57% of the notices Google has received. Uh, and then more than one third or 37% were not even valid copyright claims. So clearly a lot of people are using DMCA as a tool.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then, uh, the rules of fair use are also really interesting when it applies to this as well. So, basically this is, the bottom line is Konami was justified in using DMCA to take down this video.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is a bit of a journalism lesson for people that use the term journalism wantonly on the internet, is that if you are a journalist and you're going to report news from an anonymous source, you have to have two unrelated sources that report the same information. Correct.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, there was nothing to verify it, which means that is slander. Uh, because that information could actually be materially damaging to Konami.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So if that information gets out, whether it's true or not, that they're going to lay off 200 people and axe an entire division of their company, investors hear about that, it could actually cause the company damage.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So now it gets strange. Konami had the illegal ability to do DMCA.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, I don't know that SuperBunnyHop monetized this particular video, but he monetized every other video on his channel, so odds are likely.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] His channel does like 50 to 100,000 on average.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I find it interesting that everybody's still trying to figure out the rules and people-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I get to say whatever I want to whomever I want in whatever way I want to. Because that's just the way the internet rolls most of the time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, and I think this situation is particularly interesting because you can actually make a case in Konami's favor, which a lot of people wouldn't want to hear because they're a faceless corporation and that's the enemy. Uhm, so it's, I don't know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Getting a strike on your channel sucks. It does. Well, it's a DMC takedown. That's not a strike, is it? Oh, okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But, you know, journalism was a profession for a reason. There are a series of rules about when and how you can report information.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right, uhm, people on the internet now seem to not care about that anymore, to the extent


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, real quick, uh, I need to, I feel like I should disclaim that Super Bunny Hop, in his video, disclaimed several times that this, uh, source was anonymous, and should not be, like, vetted, but it was still reported on.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, you know, that can go either way. He did his due diligence at least saying that the source is anonymous, and I only have one of them, so this is just this person making it up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do you guys see a problem with the fact that YouTube and things like Twitter and stuff is now how people relate information and that the people who stand to be damaged by the truth or maybe even misinformation have a lot of power in controlling that?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, maybe not on Twitter, but on YouTube you can basically DMCA anything you want.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it's strange because newspapers almost benefit from a societal protection. It's acknowledged that they, by self-inflicting certain standards, are immune to certain controls.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, so just to make sure, cause we got some homophones going here. S-T-E-A-L. Not Steal, the movie starring Shaq. This is important.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've been talking about it all day. Uh, the opening sequence involves that, so they hold up a bank, Stephen Dorff makes out with the girl he was holding a gunpoint because that's just how roguish and awesome he is. And then like, and then he's like, by lady, and he like busts out of the bank and she's like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And all these cops are like after him and they're like skating and then they rail grind down some stuff and then some dude like backflips over a cop car.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, we passed the statute because they have like paycheck and timeline, just like a bunch of-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, a, a quote unquote, a, a Stanford psychologist posted a, uh, yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Philip, uh, Philip Zimbardo, uh, published a book, Man Disconnected, Disimprinted, and part of this book is the theory that video games, and, you know, this is gonna sound old, but it's not so, yeaah. That easy access to porn and video games is, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like with porn and video games, the- the two things that-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He says men, I would argue like most human beings, need like accomplishment and sex, like they're very easy to get. They're easier to get there than they are in real life. Uhm, so he's, he's, he's noting that in certain behavioral studies, uh, young men in this particular study are getting a lot more frustrated with having to interact with real human beings and do real tasks.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Trying to get to the summary here, yeaah, yeaah. Uh, he says, giving an example of this kind of, uh, mentality. He says, when I'm in class, I wish I was playing World of Warcraft when I'm with a girl at which I was watching pornography because I'll never get rejected. So it's basically like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] These needs that young men, and again I would say most people have, can be easily fulfilled.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it's a tricky cer- like, it's hard to talk about this because I can't put myself in the shoes of anyone who's younger than me and they can't put theirself in my place, so I can't really speak to what it's like. I can certainly say that when I was a kid I played a shitload of video games and that wasn't necessarily the best training to talk to girls or interact with people, and I would freely admit that I as a human being got older, like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And maybe that's just a nerd thing in general, and I'm not saying I'm good at it now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You have to, you have to ask some girls out and be shot down and be like, you know what, that's not gonna affect me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I guess, I guess the questions posed by this and even the theory posed by this is that once humans are able to satisfy or at least once it becomes good enough to satisfy those desires for interaction, companionship, and accomplishment, you can get all those things virtually. What's to motivate a human to go out and do them in the real world?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He then cites the growing problem of a disputed phenomenon called horn-induced erectile dysfunction, or P.I.E.D.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's gonna be awkward silence, I do. Actually, as a brief conclusion to the last topic, uh, Zimbardo is actually famous for a previous psychological study, uh, the Stanford Prison Experiment. I don't know if you guys are familiar with this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Five Nights at Freddy's or whatever it is, or what did you say? Star Citizen? Star Citizen, yeaah. So, I don't know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's all, uh, it's, it's things to consider. Like, how are you being perceived by everyone out there? Are, are we just, uhm,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I mean I don't drive, I use public transport, so I mean that's one of the things that I get to do in video games is drive cars. And practice driving.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well I, well I work for IGN, and then I also do, uh, I have, uh, my own YouTube channel, which I shot a, well I haven't, I've shot it, I'm working on season 2 right now of Ask Naomi, and I've got a quarterly box, which is this cool, like, box of items that I ship out every quarter.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cool stuff coming for quarter number two. And what else? I am a brand ambassador for Blue Microphones and Skullcandy. So I just wanted to announce that and put that out into the world.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So like, it just didn't, it didn't have vats. And that was the problem. It was like, you know, when you shot things, it didn't feel satisfying. Didn't really have stats either.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] See the things you know, you just gotta ask the questions sometimes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Program is what he was trying to do, uh, and prayers for him going through the process of actually.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] All you gotta do is give them the information and they're going to make up an awesome song for you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, I got out of the hot tub and put on my pillow slippers and my pillow robe. Don't hold it against me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Kinda weird. But you don't have to when you have... He's empty nester. I'm an empty nester, we don't have to have that. And you know what I call it?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sy, I want to talk about this movie because, y'all, I work at the Children's Home for 29 years. It'll be 30 years in December in Ruston, Methodist Children's Home. And, uh, we have so many tough cases that we're working with. When I watched the movie, and I'm telling you, I loved it. I came in and told Sy, I was like, Sy, you're going to love this movie.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What a journey. I mean, and your mom, how powerful is she? The glass is half full and she's going to give God the credit for seeing His hand in your lives. And dad. Amazing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So Joel, you, you wanted to, no, Luke wanted to sing a song, uh, about his dad, and then Joel was like, no, let's sing a, I wanna write a song about mom, the unsung hero.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And the song is out now. You can download it on iTunes. So you can pre-order the soundtrack to the movie. Uh, what a song. I was, I told this, I was going to ask y'all if y'all would sing just a little bit of that song. If you felt like you could do it. Like just a snippet. Now we're talking.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I wanna know, tell me about the movie. What do you guys want us to know? And I also want to know about you playing the lead role. How difficult was it? How'd you pull it off?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I loved how your mom Helen, how she role played with you guys when things got tough. She's so creative. She started role playing and doing things with you guys and y'all are all involved, getting each other involved. Uh, it was, it was incredible. And I'm going to tell you what it helped me, me and my wife, Alicia.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Um, we were watching the movie and I mean, so many times I'm an emotional person. He makes me emotional. He's a wreck.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When I saw the strength of your mother and I keep bringing it up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, it made me think about my own life and my own mother. You know, and I haven't thought about that in a long time, but when I watched this movie.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I just felt it and me and my wife were holding hands watching the movie and we were crying. You're going to feel every, every emotion when you watch this movie. I mean, it's going to be times where you're like Rocky saying, get up. I mean, this is good. You're going to love it. But I, and I want to tell my mom, is that the camera that's filming?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So my mom says that she's your biggest fans, but after watching this show, and I know my mom is watching, mom, I'm your biggest fan. I'm thankful for what you did in my life.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Now I know you're from high school, but I didn't know you. How about that? Yea, we didn't get along because we ran in different circles and I thought you were too good to, you know. This is a random question, but you remember what?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes, me and then the next day my girlfriend and now we've been married for 33 years. Wow. So when Simon moves back from the military.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They told me that he could, that he couldn't hear, so I had to talk real loud. And that's true now, 20 something years later.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, that's what happens to me, like I get car sick, if I'm like trying to, like when I was a kid I'd try and play Gameboy in the car, I could only do it for like half an hour before I'd start to get like wheezy or nauseous and stuff. I've also been seasick once or twice.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it's the same thing, like I was below deck or under, or like, not looking out at the horizon or anything like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I still threw- ended up throwing up, even looking at the horizon, but that's because someone gave me ginger beer or something like that. Ginger ale, ginger ale. Gotcha. Wait, ginger ale or ginger beer? Ginger ale, ginger ale. Sent me off, sent me off, but-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes, I also get, like, it feels like motion sickness when I play like certain games like Half-Life 2 and stuff with Field of View is what I believe it is now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I might not be able to play certain games, but so far I haven't hit anything of that, which kind of surprised me. I was like, oh god, but from what I heard too is like kind of depends on like eye placement and stuff on certain people might kind of initiate like being nauseous or queasy when you use them. But, but I don't know. I haven't hit any of that so far.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Take him by him! Well listen, hey, maybe it's crazy, but there's some- I noticed that they do have suicide bombers.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Bloodborne's difficulty level has skyrocketed.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm gonna take the copy home, I'm gonna give it a try. And so I played it for two and a half, maybe three hours. I got, I got...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A little bit further than we got in the Drunk-Born gameplay, which I know isn't very far, but I was taking my time, and I was playing very slowly, and I created a badass hero called Derek, and he was gonna save all of Yharnam.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, uh, and then I stopped, got to a nice stopping point, looped back around to the, to the lantern or whatever, the lamp, got back, stopped.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Put it away. Sure. Next day I came back, I was like, hm, I got an hour. I'll try, I'll try the Cleric Beast. Uh, and...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Got into the main menu, click continue, and it said...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Two. Uhm, and then uh, and then I went and it didn't work.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So then I tried another fix, which was uninstalling and reinstalling the game, even though I was playing it off a disc. Just uninstall everything, take it out, start over. Like it's a brand new disc. So I did that, and I noticed that when I put in the disc, a new little icon popped up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Re- uninstalling and reinstalling several more times. I finally got it back to the main menu, but the save file appears to be gone forever. Uhm, a lot of people-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Probably at least an hour or so. Some of it was passive because it had to re-download the update and then install it again. But, uh...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] 2.5 update on my- Two days, right? Yeah, for like two days before I even started playing the game, so it's not like I started the game, installed it, and it fucked things up. So, yeah, something got screwed up. I think it just, cosmically, this is- this is how the game gets me back for trying to have an open mind about it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] As I was starting, I said to my wife, I was like, as soon as this game fucks me, I'm done with it. Cause I don't have the time to invest in this. I will get nothing out of it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That being said, the time that I did play, I did feel compelled to come back the next day and continue playing it, so I guess that's already an improvement over the previous Souls series.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Probably not anytime soon, but I may start a new game that may not have a corrupted save file and try it again. But, uh, one of the other things that kind of bothered me is once we played and we were like, oh, it's a scripted death. And then people were like, no it's not, no it's not.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You can't level up until you reach that boss.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Especially, especially when his big, his big attack on you is, I'm better at Metal Gear Rising Revengeance than you. Good for you, man. Uhm, you have a point. Except he said Metal Gear Solid


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[Assistant] I mean, something else you should consider is we just moved offices, right? This will not be our office forever, theoretically. Where we were before was a temporary location where we-


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[Assistant] Basically had to pile all the things we needed into one corner of the room and then


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[Assistant] Hope that we could hear each other, like, when we were talking. Hope that, like, Bruce could see over Adam's shoulder when we were playing games. Like, this isn't- we didn't have a room that was built for us. There is no big time. And we still don't have a room that's built for us. Yeah, yeah, we don't have any of those things. Like, honestly, we're not big time. We're making do. Is- is what we are perpetually in a state of.


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[Assistant] Also, low fidelity is kind of something that we admire in content because I think it, I think it allows us to do more that is just us being us, you know?


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[Assistant] Talented. A veteran at your craft. You're awesome. Thank you.


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[Assistant] Well, no, no, I don't know why, but they did. It's weird, it's weird. Celine Dion was in St. Francis? Yeah.


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[Assistant] Did I tell you what I got Carter for his 10th birthday? Nope. A suit. A what?


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[Assistant] He said, hold your applause please. Oh, actually, give it ten seconds of applause.


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[Assistant] He was running the room. But we took a break last week from filming, but we had a big one. It was spring break and Carter's birthday and he is now fully on board with writing speeches to be the president.


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[Assistant] It's the second one, so we're pros at this. I was not a pro. Gave him a little bit of the wrong pain meds and he started puking all over the car. But he's solid now, he's in school.


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[Assistant] Time to cut this thing off my head. And I was like, alright, let's go.


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[Assistant] So he's solid. He's over. And he's wearing suits to church.


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[Assistant] Did you see the Facebook comment I sent y'all the other day? Cause I put up on the sign.


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[Assistant] I was like, it's good to see you again too, Christy. We all, we all go through there, our ebbs and flows.


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[Assistant] Spectacular. That sounds fun. What are you? Oh hey look. The 11 shells sound.


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[Assistant] I shot it till it quit shooting. A lot of people say we should go back to the good old days, but you had oxygen in a field taking a nap in an 11 round with a servant, with a servant helping him. Yeah. Praise God for America and technology.


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[Assistant] Elevate your morning with Tommy Johns.


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[Assistant] Are we gonna go down that route? Of what? Shootin' zoo creatures. Shootin' what?


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[Assistant] Yeaah. They literally got people just patrolling like the last two rhinos. Yeaah. But you know how they get paid for? From the hunter. The hunter. So it is a good thing. It's just not for- I would just take a camera.


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[Assistant] This is gonna be super unpopular. No, he's fine. The sea turtle.


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[Assistant] Because the paper straw is the worst invention since time began. And if we have to trade the sea turtles for paper straws, I'm, I'm choosing just regular straws.


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[Assistant] Oh, you go to a restaurant and they're like, uh, seat turtles, here's you a paper straw, cause we don't do plastic, cause, you know.


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[Assistant] Remember that? That was, that was because of sea turtles. That's what they say. That's a bald faced lie.


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[Assistant] What in the name of 2024 are you talking, having to tape my own straw? I just give me a straw. You don't have to deal with paper straws.


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[Assistant] Without a straw, mind you. The plastic straws only hate sea turtles. What about dolphins? I've got a lot of questions.


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[Assistant] It's basically duck dynasty. They shoved a turtle inside of a six pack of...


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[Assistant] You guys, you are a PoliCrush city freeloader. You can win all sorts of money.


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[Assistant] Hunter, put something in this episode and we'll see if we catch it. I won't. Uhm, anyway. I won't. I will. Hey, Brian emails in.


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[Assistant] Brian. Hey Brian. He is a fan of the podcast.


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[Assistant] A fun? He heard that Martin is going to be in Longview, Texas. I will be in July. This summer. Yep. He lives in the Kilgore area, which is where that brisket is. You gonna bring me some brisket, big dog? But he just doesn't know where you're gonna be. He just wants the information about where to meet Martin. Hold on.


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[Assistant] On a Saturday. On a Saturday. In Longview. Just go to Longview every Saturday in July and you'll be sure to run into Martin. Okay, so you know how I had to discuss West Monroe's problem? Have you seen the crumble?


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[Assistant] With the line and how every time, like we had the Dairy Queen open and we needed traffic direction. So I asked our fans if West Monroe's the weird ones. Turns out, we're not as bad as others.


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[Assistant] Small town. This is from Trisha in North Georgia.


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[Assistant] Her town's name. And Tricia, you should be. What if it is small town Georgia? It's probably right.