[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, that's the funny thing about diets. Ain't nobody on one, then when one person gets it, the whole house ends up on one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Where'd that, where'd it get its name from? I'm, I'm interested in that. Is it like the Thousand Island area of New York or like, where did it come from? Yea, that's where they built it at. Is it? I don't know, but I like it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] All the fish you want. Oh yeaah. Fish and poultry, you good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, look at that, Galvin. Come Monday, you can hunt and fish for five dollars.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Since you sell hunting and fishing licenses? Yes, we do.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've been trying to figure out if Siah needs a steak duck stamp or not, and I can't get an answer.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What's the deal? I ain't getting mine until I'm 60. Apparently all you gotta do is get that and you gotta get a federal duck stamp and a hip.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And that, Sy, is why we need to get you a cell phone. That's right.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Daughter. Hamburger's daughter.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Hamburger Patty Boy. Alright, well let's take a break. We'll be back right after this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Born ready boys. We'll open the mailbox. That's right. Hello at DuckCallRoom.com. That's the mailbox address. We get asked that often. So there it is again.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, but forcing yourself to do something can be the start of a good thing. You build a habit. Humans are creatures of habit. Then all of a sudden, next thing you know, you're not forcing yourself anymore. You want to go.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like the hardest part, he's saying force yourself to go to gym, the hardest thing is that first week. It started. And then you like, then you start feeling better.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, or, you know, in Godwin's case, I want to eat better. I feel better now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, but I'm saying like, if that's what it takes to get the habit started, then do whatever you feel like you need to do to get the habit started. And then figure out where it grows from there. Uhm, but whatever you do, make sure you take your daughter along with you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Don't go by yourself, take your whole family with you. Look at it as family time. Look at it as a...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sunday morning date with your wife and your daughter, however that dynamic is, whatever that is.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But yeah, I mean, there's nothing wrong with forcing yourself to go there or, you know, I mean, I hate the word force there, but there's nothing wrong with holding yourself accountable.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] To show up when that building's open because you want to be a good influence for your wife and your daughter and all of that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's how it works. But you do have to start the habit somewhere, and if that means to quote unquote force yourself to go, then by all means. Force yourself to go. Whatever that looks like. You got a quick one?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Keep on truckin'. Boom. I'll see y'all when I get back from Wyoming. We're out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh boy. No, but I'm getting tons of emails of great arguments.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What do you want to be when you grow up?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, a deep dive. Just like the rotation of the earth, it makes my day.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Boy, ain't that true. No. Gah! That sounds like a ball pin. Yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause I'm just, I'm just being honest. Okay, I would not have qualified. It was like you was camping out all the time. You had, you had a... You were just on a hike.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That would have been amazing. That would have been awesome. You'd have had to beat the railroad. Her was a mile wide.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, I wouldn't say I'm Ron. Oh no, I would. Unless there's another way. Yeah, the other way. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Good luck. I don't know what to tell you. It's like a cucumber. You know what the cucumber said to the pickle? I'm sure we're about to find out. Deal with it. What's the deal? You mean a great deal to me. Oh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know. Bad joke. Buffaloes. That's what my momma told me when I got married. To pull the sheets over. You and your wife. And pass gas and if she...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If she's still with you after 20 years, you know she's on. If she makes it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A good show, it would be a great show without it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Gum trees. And they all die.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We're enjoying you. Sorry, what do you do for fun in Tennessee?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, I was sitting behind Cy, uh, when he told that little boy that, and uh, I'm going to tell you that it was a powerful moment.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause I looked at the face of his mom and, and the look on her face was, I can't believe this, you know, this is happening right now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So think about this and he made a good point and, uh, which really, you know, almost brought tear to my, and the way, the way he said it, close your eyes and you think about.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] One person in your life who is patient.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And odds are that that person is loved by everyone around them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yep. That's what it was like. We all were.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, but going back to that, uh, patient and kind thing and he gave the example.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And he said, you know who I think of when I think of a person who is patient and kind? He said, I think of my son-in-law's mother, my mom. Oh yeah. And uh, I would agree with that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Boy, that brought a tear to my eye. Cause I, you know what? Cause I thought of the same exact person and Ms. Paula, uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Godman's wife, she thought of the same exact person, which is, and you know, I got a long ways to go in that area. So I thought to myself, you know, I need to be.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I need to strive to be more like my mom. I mean, what a good example right there. Um, it's very difficult, especially in today's.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] atmosphere. Well, I was telling the patient with other humans.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, there's not a lot of patients in today's society, you know, and I find myself fighting the urge to.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Be impatient. It's human, it's human nature. It is for me anyway, to be impatient with people.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Which is, and you can see it in every scenario, especially you get in your car and you drive home.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Somebody cut in front of you or whatever. It's just people being impatient, being people, being people, and you know, it's, it's tough not to be. I get it. I mean, uh, I have, I have those tendencies, but we try to fight them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause it's, it's something about it. It's Emmy and I fight it all the time. But, uh, yeah, that's a, that's a good one there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But it's still aggravating that bullfrog catch a fish on every cast and you don't get a bite.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, you know, the best part of the sandwich is what's in the middle.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You need a delivery device for it. That's like, you know, me and Godwin like to go to a local restaurant here at lunchtime, a little Latin place. And they make this thing called a, a biatus, baleatus, baleatus.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, that's a big soft case idea. It's a big, yeah, big flour tortilla filled with eggs, avocados, steak and crema. Crema, homemade sour cream. Homemade sour cream is some kind of, some kind of goat cheese, which is delicious.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So me and Gowan hammered that thing. That thing's good. On the regular.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's the Hondurans. That's the best breakfast burrito you ever put in your mouth. Yeah. Yeah. Hondurans. They know what to do. It was the other day. It's 10 30. I was hungry and I said, let's go get one of them. Let's go get some of that. I'd love to hear.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He said, he said, that ain't my 10.30. I said, well, it's got eggs in it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, so, what? I got some rib glaze in the mail.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hot honey? Is that a gallon? What is it? Millis? One gallon. Of honey? Of Mike's hot honey. Hot honey.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I guarantee you, well, I got me about a year supply at least.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, uh, Ms. Jacqueline, thank you. It's got a little fire to it. Oh yeah. It's honey with a little heat.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Take them things, I cook them like I do them duck wraps, you know. Stuff them with cream cheese and jalapenos. Slap a little fat over it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Are they good? Why? There you go. They're better than ducks.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But no, thank you, Ms. Jackman. I appreciate that. I'm going to put this to good use. And the note said, keep on cooking boys. Amen. So if y'all need, y'all need some time. Speaking of cooking.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I like a chicken liver. The bigger the animal gets, the worse they get. If you go, you can go North Mississippi and find you a mighty fine fried chicken liver.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, Phil, Phil takes all the gizzards out of the ducks and cuts them up. He lays them hearts and gizzards. And he puts them in his gumbo and makes gravy with them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay. I've, I've been through this. Okay. I have teenage daughters. I hear, here's, I've already dealt with all of it. Here's what you do. There's two, two options. Option number one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They make cell phones now that look like iPhones, but they're not, they're not smartphones.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're just there for calls and texts. I forgot the name of them. Jeff put me on those and those work good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I would say the best, the best thing that I found is to have.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] An app, they make an app called they are packed. Our pact is the best one. Good friend of mine put me onto it. That app mirrors everything your child looks at.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It could be every fifth text message could go back to you, but in their mind, they know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That you can see everything they look at and there's no, there's no, um, cheats to get around it either. It's, it's rock solid. So check out that RPAC thing that way you can let, let, let her have a phone and have the peace of mind and knowing that you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Have checks and balances in place to hold her accountable.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So there is a way around it, but I didn't let mine have them until they got to high school.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I would say freshmen in high school, when they start going places, you know, especially when they start driving, I mean, because the technology is not going anywhere. We just have to learn to deal with it. So, but that app, that our packed app, it was, works really good for us. So there's no.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's no messing around on it. Like they take pictures, every fifth picture might come to you. If they get a, um, if they buy that you could turn off app purchases, whatever you can have, uh, there's a timer on there when it gets a certain time at night.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And make sure she knows that you see everything that she looks at.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, it's, it's, it's a tough thing, especially our teenagers these days.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Coming up, having to deal with that cost of pressure and, and having that at the, at the end, like you say, at the end of their fingertips.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's, that's a battle that has to be fought every day.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I vaguely remember that. But no, I'm telling you people, no matter how aggravating those kids get, do not use these devices as babysitters.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, do not do it no matter how, how much you're tempted to do it. Do not leave them alone with the device. I don't care what game they're playing that these, these children's games, there are predators on those message scrolls in the top corner.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That are out to do harm to your children. So do not use it for a babysitter.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There are people out there in that world that have an agenda. Their agenda is to teach your kids what they believe, not what you believe.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, gab, gab phones, that's what they're called. Gab phones.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, I miss the old walkie talkie days. You remember, do you ever go to Galvin shop back in the day?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He had a, what was his name on there? I hope it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, he'd sit in there for hours all night long.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You got rid of your green glass and you're using that thing. I mean, I've gotten so many emails about that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What happened to those glass? Hey, I've upgraded. Does a straw have one hole or two holes?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's like one of them people that know everything that ever ha- like they never forget.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hey, well, now that we're on this, I'm going to go with it. Jeffrey from Van Buren, Arkansas. Godwin, how does a dad joke become a dad joke?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, because your tongue, it does all the things and then move. Why? Could you blow a duck call without a tongue?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Who do you think is going to win? Go for it. Right now, one take.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You gonna put any, any action on that?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm going to say Duke and Kansas and then Kansas ruins everything for Coach K.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause everybody I root for loses. Oh, you actually thank Kansas?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I wanted Miami to win, that went real south real quick.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I really can't jump. I was just lucky I was a little taller than most other kids in high school.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What do you actually think the manna in the Bible was?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you're not familiar with the story, God just gave them food every morning. It was just sitting outside their door while they were wandering through the wilderness.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think it was like, I just always wondered what it was.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What scientists are saying this? All are scientists. All scientists. This says quail can fly.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hey, my man Doug said he's gonna get one. I was talking to my buddy at work today. He don't work with me, he just hangs out there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But he said, he needs to lose a little weight. And so we walked to the grilled chicken place together and we walked back. He said, I'm going to get me one of them Cubies. And he's going to watch our YouTube and Cubie while we YouTube. Doug.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Martin, is that ruler on your sleeve accurate? I like it a lot.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Martin's wearing a shirt that has a fish all the way down his arm, but it's also on a ruler.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I just thought people should start putting a ruler on everything.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've just, I've recently thought they should start putting, if you can put a ruler on something, you should just do it. Sure. You need to measure stuff, you never have a ruler on you. And that phone thing don't work, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That would be a rock bass according to Google image search number one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's time to go fishing. We should just stop the podcast now and go fishing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Now I'm proud owner of a kayak with two seats on it and I can carry that thing wherever I want. Just pick it up. I got the flippers. You want to go? You sit on the front. I'll paddle you around all over.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's a way better investment than a 24 foot pontoon boat. Never buy one of those people.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I go a different way to school now, to take my kids to school?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's two big ol' flags wavin' in the wind. Just the bomb of all bombs about the president.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just right there and I'm like, I can't, we go by it every morning. And a couple times- Dad, what's that mean?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, and it's like, with luck, they haven't seen it because I forgot about it a couple, the 100th pass, first time I said, did that?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And all of a sudden there was a bear on the other side of the road. I said, look at the bear, look over there. They're like, we didn't see a bear. I'm like, ah, must've been mistaken. I was just making sure they weren't reading the signs of the people.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Why do we, how do we get to the point of like, let's just openly drop bombs for everybody driving by. My kids can read!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm gonna vote differently next time. You've convinced me, sir. Bravo! Like that's never, that's never happened.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's, all they see is, okay, now I don't like this person cause they're so mean and ridiculous. And so now, and it goes both ways by the way.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We're back. And we're back. We should do like a song, sing along.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Learn something new every day. You're really close. Everybody, important lesson, always learn.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's the email address. Hit me with some emails. I read like 70 this morning. There's 70. Oh, we get. When do you work? I don't know. Most of the time I'm reading these on the toilet.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, this was, this one was interesting to me. Alright, go ahead and read it. Dane? Where's Dane from?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sent from his iPhone, anywhere. Uhm, big fan of the show.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A couple episodes ago we were answering questions from the mailbag and it was kind of a heavy episode when we talked about, you know, all the close guys to Jesus, the apostles, they all ended up boiled alive, heads chopped off.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, the closest people to Jesus, they didn't get all these great blessings here on earth. They had a pretty tough life. And you look at Paul, shipwrecked, snake bit, and all that stuff. And he said, he heard us talking about that, and can we talk ab-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Little more about that, like where is that mentioned? In the Bible. So here's the thing, Dane.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Acts 12-2 specifically mentions James, brother John, King Herod killed him, but the rest of it isn't in the Bible.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It is just historical facts. Like when some of it's kind of.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know here and there, but most of that is just history of the world.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And that the Christians around that time were persecuted and we had, they have records of what they did to Jesus as apostle.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So it's not like the Bible was just a made up story of fake people.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] All those people you read about were really on this earth and it's in history. So I just thought I would like to clarify that. Anybody else know anything?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That was just me. I think you covered it. I think I covered it. Secular history. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, and I always, I always think that's super important for like people that don't believe, like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What do you not believe? Cause like, history, every historian out there says, oh no, all that happened.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's just this thing like, uh, Jesus died on the cross for sure. Did he come back? That's where people try and like refute you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, anyways, so I just wanted to clear that up from a man, Dane. Dane, thanks for the email. Alright, here's a good, here's, here's what I found interesting.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I had to read it twice because I think I read it wrong the first time. He's gonna be marrying his best friend in October. That's a good thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Plot twist, he's not the one getting married, he's the, he's the officiant.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And this is, all I got, his name's Dr. Holiday.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So he's wondering if we have any recommendations or any verses that he should use.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've always wanted to marry two people. I think it would be fun. None of my friends have ever asked me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sy, have you ever married a couple? Have you ever officiated a wedding? No.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, that was good. Uhm. Serious business. Another email?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, this one said Bucky's slash life advice. So you're not interested in Bucky? No, I'm in. Jacob from Greenville, North Carolina, uh, he went to Bucky's in Daytona Beach, Florida, which actually makes me so mad that they have one and we don't.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A delayed honeymoon, and then they went to Bucky's, and I'm just gonna be honest, everything they put here sounds like they had more fun at Bucky's. It's just, it's the greatest place on earth. Uhm, but now for life advice. They've been married for right about nine months.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] However, they've been together since, that's a very specific date, June 23rd, 2017.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're wanting to settle down and have kids. We just don't know when the right time is. We're both 24 years old. When do you, when did you guys know when the right time was? Stop laughing at this man's joke.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We want, not joke, question. It's not a joke, it's a question. We want to make sure we are mentally and spiritually focused on our decision of having kids. Hope to hear from you guys. Jacob, you're about to. Sy, why are you laughing?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We think we have some control over these things because we can't avoid it. There's technology and whatever you want to do to not get pregnant, but.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When it's on, it's on. It's not your choice. It's not, you might say, oh, we should start trying. It might take a long time. Or you can say, I guess we'll stop preventing. And two weeks later, boom, you just don't know what it is. So.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you're, if y'all are, y'all ready? Been together seven, 2017, that's five years, been married nine months.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, what we gonna send him out of here on? Ah, well, I'm going back. My man asked for verses, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And there's an obvious one for giving a sermon on, uh, uh, not a sermon, for officiating a wedding.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And that would be Ephesians 5, 21 through 33. I'm not going to read all that because it's really long.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Everybody, I encourage you, go look it up, but I'm gonna read, I'm gonna read one very important to the husbands. I want all the husbands out there to listen. Uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] As a radiant church without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish but holy and blameless.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We are called to love our wives the way Christ loved the church and you've heard us here say it before. He loved you whether you wanted him to or not.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And he died on a cross for you and went through torture for you and didn't even have to become human and he did that cause I'm pretty sure he was aight before he came down here and he went through a really bad deal for ya. And then, after that, three days later, that man started breathing again. So, that's what we're called to do for our wives.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm going to go tell Alison to listen to this one. That's a joke. But husbands, love your wives. That's what I'm sending you out of here with today.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well then, by all means, welcome to the Duck Call Room.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But if you boys got something you want to talk about, let's talk about it, Gavin. You went to Oregon, I went to Maryland.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, we couldn't have been any further away from each other and been in the continental, continental U.S.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I went up there to talk to the only 350 rednecks in Salem, Oregon.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I offered them, as soon as I got up there and they gave me the microphone, I offered every one of them to move to Louisiana.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause y'all are severely outnumbered up here. But I also understand, you know, that that's the.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's also the kind of work Jesus did, so I said I commend y'all for staying because it'd be easy to run from this mess.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] One of the first times Brittany was down here and went hunting, coming down here when we were still dating, Galva one day just said, Hey, hold this for me. And threw her a shotgun shell. Well, she just put it in her pocket and never thought about it again. When they run her carry on through there, there was the shotgun shell. And buddy, you'd have thought,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] She was trying to blow the whole thing up over a 3 inch magnum shotgun shell that she


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Took everything. Put the shotgun shell beside her license. Took it all, I mean, to make sure she wasn't a repeat offender, I guess.


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[Assistant] Another pro tip. Don't carry a choke tube with you. What's wrong with a choke tube?


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[Assistant] Yeah, you'd be better off, you'd be more dangerous with a roll of quarters than you were a choke tube and that'll let you tow the roll of quarters on.


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[Assistant] There ain't no telling how many I, well, I just quit carrying a pocket knife because of tea. Cause I could never remember to not take it with me. So it's either a walk back out and start that whole process over or throw it away.


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[Assistant] Right, that's, for people that aren't adept at sharpening a knife like myself, I can't do it. It's worse than when I started. You can just swap the blades out.


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[Assistant] So I had one of those with me and I said, well look, why don't we just take the blade off and throw it in the garbage and I can keep my frame.


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[Assistant] Nope. No good. I said, I said the blade will pop off there. Give me two seconds. I'll take that blade off and then I just have a folder.


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[Assistant] So just moral of the story, leave them at the house. And then when your buddy asks you for a knife and you say, I ain't got one, remind them how much you fly. That's fine.


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[Assistant] There you go. No, it's, uh, I will say this though for those people, you know, we did this a few weeks ago.


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[Assistant] But there are two people that don't get enough thank you and that is a TSA agent and then a gate agent.


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[Assistant] Yeah, they actually let him on because he threw his bag at the ticket counter. No, you idiot! Like- I'm sorry sir, I didn't-


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[Assistant] There's the always deal though of the walking that line of minding your own business and being friendly. Sometimes it comes off as...


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[Assistant] Let me tell you, no there he is cause there's some of our friends from when we were with Under Armour that watch this thing. I know cause they text me, so.


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[Assistant] We're, we're up against it. I do want to before we go to break. Why are we up again? The break.


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[Assistant] Say thank you to our friend Nancy Harder. What did Nancy say?


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[Assistant] Oh lord, have mercy. I take Omega XL because of the science. When you're young, our bodies produce SPMs. They're nature's way of keeping joints healthy. But as we age, we don't produce enough SPMs, which could be why.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cy was always in pain. Look at him over. Now he can't stop flexing. Omega XL can help restore your SPMs and rejuvenate joints and muscles so that you can move like when you were young. That's important ain't it Cy?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There it is. Order Omega XL and get a second bottle for free. Visit OmegaXL.com slash dot. That's OmegaXL.com slash dot. Or call 1-800-844-48.


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[Assistant] Damn, what's your takeaway? Who's your favorite for March Madness? Right now.


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[Assistant] The vols. My wife would be thrilled to hear that.


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[Assistant] You'll never know. No, I'ma have to tell her about that.


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[Assistant] So that's what, so your favorite is Tennessee. You're calling Tennessee for the national champ.


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[Assistant] Johnny D, should we do a duck call room bracket? I think we should do a duck call room bracket of things that we like.


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[Assistant] Yeah, just like, and look, the football people ain't gonna be happy till they're 68 teams in that playoff either. Amen. You know, all of them.


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[Assistant] There's gonna be a three, before it's over with, there's gonna be a three game season. Amen. And everything else is the playoff. We can make it matter, baby. Call it good.


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[Assistant] Cause you know, those regular season games just don't count. Whatever argument that is. They're just trying to figure out a way to weed out watching.


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[Assistant] Alabama versus Georgia. Let me tell you something, it's still going to happen, so.


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[Assistant] But eventually somebody else takes over. It used to be Duke, North Carolina. Now you see like Baylor and Arizona and all them other people that make it. Kansas.


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[Assistant] Yeah, well that's the cool thing about traveling now is like we're going to rooms filled with people.


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[Assistant] And, you know, there's no mask or none of that. So it feels like we're getting, we're coming out of this thing.


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[Assistant] You're the only place to be. They've been some serious small players lately. Cause they can't score. Yea, they can't shoot.


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[Assistant] Yeah, and when they decided, oh, we'll put a computer-generated audience. No, that's a gore. That was weird. That's a gore.


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[Assistant] I'm with you. It's time to wake up. And here's the deal. It's for the farmers.


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[Assistant] I don't care which one we go with. I do. But just pick one. I mean I would prefer the one we're in right now. I mean, it was the worst morning ever, especially


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[Assistant] Yeah, well, and I made them right back up. And I lost two hours.


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[Assistant] In duck season? We wouldn't wake up til 5.30 or 6.


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[Assistant] You know, do you know how much mentally better off you would be if you slept til 5.30 everyday instead of having to wake up at 4.30?


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[Assistant] Is how this simple math problem of time change confuses some of the most intelligent people. They cannot.


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[Assistant] Well, Arizona doesn't do it at all, but they're on the other one, I think.


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[Assistant] Well I'm fine, I'd just pick one. I would prefer this one, but if we could just pick one, I'm totally cool with it.


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[Assistant] Oh my goodness. I saw one that reminded me of Galvin said there were three guys on a boat. They have four cigarettes, but no lighter.


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[Assistant] Do you know what they did? Why? They threw one overboard, that way their boat was a cigarette lighter.


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[Assistant] That one right there was worthy of going to break on. We'll be right back. Welcome to Podcast Comedy Hour. There you go. We got it. Alright, we'll be back right after this.


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[Assistant] Sy, are you still loving that Helix mattress? Of course I am. Sleeping on a cloud, boys.


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[Assistant] I tell you what's even nicer is the fact that you didn't have to go shopping for it. Like, all you did was get online.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Took a little quiz, answered some questions. Two minutes. And then it shows up to your door. And when it does, you're like, that can't be a mattress.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But look, they had, Helix Sleep does have a quiz. It takes just two minutes to complete. It matches your body type and sleep preferences to the perfect mattress for you. Why would you buy a mattress made for someone else? With Helix, you're getting a mattress that you know will be perfect for the way you sleep. Everybody's unique and Helix knows that. So they have several different mattress models to choose from. If you sleep hot, if you got a bad back,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You name it. Prevent morning aches and pains. They do it all. Just for you. Johnny D, which one you rocking?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, that just sounds fancy. It is. Sounds comfortable too.


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[Assistant] There you go. If you're looking for a mattress, take the quiz, order the mattress, your mattress too, and the mattress comes to your door. Ship for free. You don't ever need to go to a mattress store again. Helix is awesome.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But you don't have to take our word for it. Helix was awarded the number one best overall mattress pick of 2020 by GQ and Wired Magazine.


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[Assistant] Helix has been recommended by multiple leading chiropractors and doctors of sleep medicine as a go-to solution for improving sleep.


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[Assistant] Just go to helixsleep.com slash duck. Take their two minute sleep quiz and they'll match you to a customized mattress.


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[Assistant] That will give you the best sleep of your life. They have a 10 year warranty and you get to try it out for 100 nights risk free.


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[Assistant] They'll even pick it up for you if you don't love it, but you will. Helix even has financing options.


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[Assistant] Flexible payment plans. So a great night's sleep is never far away. Right now, Helix is offering up to $200 off all mattress orders and


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Two free pillows for our listeners at helixsleep.com slash.


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[Assistant] The number one overall seed, cause I'm just using my Instagram messages.


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[Assistant] That's the number one overall seed is something that doesn't exist.


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[Assistant] Reward. Reward to start. That brought back Johnny D of a year ago back out and he didn't.


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[Assistant] It's like eggs. Strawberry. Yeah, yeah. Pumpkins. All that. The shapes. Holiday Reese's. Holiday Reese's. That's right.


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[Assistant] If we got 64 it probably would be. And then Christmas tree cakes would be another one. Amen to that. And then the other one would be.


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[Assistant] So for y'all that are working with Sy today, he's got nine more glasses of tea before he's done. Nine glasses.


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[Assistant] I don't know, but if you keep saying it, we're gonna get that goofy little thing underneath.


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[Assistant] Again, I got no problems with black tag wires. I got problems with black tag wires.


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[Assistant] And grey is a strong term for brown.


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[Assistant] Same side. We gonna have to go see Judge Steve Harvey over this and let him.


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[Assistant] Goblin, don't you think it's a good idea to keep learning new things? Absolutely. Like how to skip a chatterbait, how to...


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[Assistant] That jig wayyyy up under there. I guarantee you. Have you learned anything new lately?


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[Assistant] Amen. Well look, just like us, always wanting to not stop learning.


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[Assistant] Our friends over at ZipRecruiter, they haven't stopped learning. If you're always learning, it keeps you sharp. Like ZipRecruiter, their AI is always learning. So if you're hiring,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Their AI gets better and faster at finding the right candidates for all of your roles. And right now you can try it for free.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] At ZipRecruiter.com slash Duck, ZipRecruiter uses its powerful technology to find and match the right candidates up to your job.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Then it proactively presents these candidates to you so you don't have to hunt for them. You can easily review these recommended candidates


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And invite your top choices to apply for your job, which encourages them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] To apply even faster. It's no wonder ZipRecruiter is the number one rated hiring site in the US based on G2 ratings.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And now you can try ZipRecruiter for free at this exclusive web address, ziprecruiter.com.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's ZipRecruiter.com slash D-U-C-K. ZipRecruiter, the smartest way to hire.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A little different today. I think we have enough emails thanks to all of y'all emailing at hello at DuckCallRoom.com.


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[Assistant] Then we're going to probably try to do two segments worth of emails. So Johnny D, what is in that duck call room mail bag?


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[Assistant] Buildings, then there are tired vehicles, right? Are you sure? Well, it could be any kind of wheel, I guess. What kind of? Trailer wheel. Yeah, but I mean. Bicycle wheel.


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[Assistant] You're thinking of a, I'm saying, you're using the interpretation of door or something on hinges.


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[Assistant] I guarantee you they rolled a rock across their cave to keep people out of it. That's a door. Way. Door way. Not a door. So the rock is not an actual door.


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[Assistant] Now, it's a, it's a wheel. So it's a border to keep something out but it's not a door. It's a wheel. Okay.


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[Assistant] Now there's a lot of houses with wheels and the amount of wheels that they have on there do now outnumber the doors. That's right. Ain't that right, Si?


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[Assistant] They do. I'm still going with doors. Why are you going with doors? Cause it seems like the smart thing to do.


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[Assistant] And I'm in the minority, which I like taking the other side of things a lot.


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[Assistant] I think people were using things to keep stuff out of their house or their domicile before they was rolling around a wheelbarrow.


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[Assistant] How many rooms are like this? There are four wheels.


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[Assistant] Nah, there's more wheels. Well, I'm saying there's four that aren't cancelled out.


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[Assistant] I cannot believe that me and Silas agree on something. It strongly makes me think I should be taking the other side of this argument.


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[Assistant] Galvin, let me ask you a question. That is a door before the wheel. I just, I want to know where Galvin stands on this.


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[Assistant] Alright, how many tires your boat got on?


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[Assistant] My boat? Yeah. Or the trailer? Or the trailer. Your whole rig? Five. Five? With a spare? Yeah.


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[Assistant] So you're, you're in the plus. So plus one door on the boat.


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[Assistant] We on this hot dog sandwich bag. That's what we done did. That's a cover.


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[Assistant] That's a co- see that's what I'm saying. We're gonna- there's gonna have to be a definition in here of what is what.


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[Assistant] I give up. Alright, I'm still going door just when I've got a side to take.


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[Assistant] If I stand him in there and have to move him, is he a door?


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[Assistant] I find us one as soon as we get back from this break. We'll be back right after this. We go.


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[Assistant] Yeah, yeah, I've been there. He lost what he'd lose as your granddad and his uncle. I lost my granddad and my dad a month from each other. You don't think I wasn't a little irate? I was trying to figure out why. Why, why, why? Newsflash. Change the why to why not.


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[Assistant] Like what makes you special? What keeps this from happening to you? And the answer is nothing. It's just a part of life. And how you deal with it is where you're gonna learn and where you're gonna grow. It's okay to be mad. It's okay to be upset. It's okay to question.


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[Assistant] But the chances are when you say God's not answering, He is answering. You don't like the answer.


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[Assistant] You're not ready to accept what that answer is. When you get to that point, it will all make sense. Believe that. Trust me. And it takes a little while.


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[Assistant] I'm not saying you're going to ask why not tomorrow and be like, Oh, no, that's not what I'm saying. But what I am saying is it gets better.


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[Assistant] It gets easier and your ears finally listen to what the answer.


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[Assistant] Would be, instead of just hearing. You're actually listening then.


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[Assistant] Yeah, well, and it comes with maturity. Yeah. Like, good Lord knows when you're mature enough to handle whatever he's going to give it to you. You know, it's, uh,


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[Assistant] But that all goes back to faith, but I would say when you feel like they're not being answered, don't quit talking.


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[Assistant] Keep talking, keep asking, keep listening.


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[Assistant] He was four hours away, taking care of your little man.


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[Assistant] And the cool thing is too, he said that they were two of the most godly men that he knew.


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[Assistant] There was a time in my life I couldn't answer like, yes I was right there where he was.


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[Assistant] You know, because you realize in all those moments, what a human hates the most is a lack of control and you understand.


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[Assistant] I had no control over this, but that's a humbling thing when you realize I never was in control of it. Oh crap.


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[Assistant] Once you accept Jesus and you follow God, it should be easy.


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[Assistant] And you're right though, nothing can get to you because, because you win in the end. But while we're here.


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[Assistant] There's plenty that can and will get to you.


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[Assistant] Does your buddies right now know what you've gone through?


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[Assistant] And they're gonna watch for your reaction to what happens from here on out. And it may determine where their faith lies because they know that your uncle and your granddad passed away.


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[Assistant] So somebody's going to be looking at you at how you react to this situation and you can either show them God, show them Jesus, or you can show them a tormented guy that is struggling.


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[Assistant] Both of those are okay as long as we get to showing God and showing Jesus. There's no right way to grieve. There's no wrong way to grieve.


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[Assistant] Just know that you ain't alone and there's people that have been through it since the beginning of time and there's going to be people that continue to go through it. That, that's...


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[Assistant] That's all my deal. But somebody is watching you right now. You're an example to somebody whether you realize it or not.


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[Assistant] The part that always gets me there in the James one is pure joy.


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[Assistant] Is everybody at that Bassmaster Classic? They ain't talking about Duck Dynasty no more.


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[Assistant] They talking about you and what we talk about on here. Every last one of them. And don't hear me folks. I see that clock rolling. He's trying to slick me over.


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[Assistant] Look, I'm looking up there. I ain't complaining. It's just bizarre.


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[Assistant] Because Duck Dynasty did so much and we've answered those questions for so long.


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[Assistant] And now the deal is, now you remember that episode y'all were talking about this? And I'm like, that wasn't Duck Dynasty. I'm like, the podcast.


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[Assistant] I have one, I have one old boy said, I got a new joke for Galvin. I said, lay it on me. And it was, why did the chicken cross the road?


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[Assistant] Oh man, that was a, that was a goblin one if I'd ever heard it. I said, Lord. I will say though, for the first time in my life, everybody disagreed with Si.


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[Assistant] It was in defense, everybody is in defense of the Walmart employee that would not bring up. Oh, good grief. They all mad at you. They said, well, he got a ton of money. Why didn't you just buy him both? I said, y'all, y'all wouldn't pay him that close of attention.


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[Assistant] Yeah, this, this wouldn't know. Y'all missed the timeline here.


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[Assistant] But it was incredible. I mean, and I'm talking about-


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[Assistant] Yeah, I'm talking about folks of all ages too. Like, from this high?


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[Assistant] Everybody listens. Babies and grandma. So that's awesome. So remember that when we tell our stories. I did have a story request from Sy as well. Have you been struck by lightning?


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[Assistant] Just the other day? The guy said, you gotta have Si tell about that time he got struck by lightning. I said, well buddy, he ain't told me that one yet, so I'll find out if he's got it.


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[Assistant] So it wasn't because you were watching the TV and listening to the stereo at the same time, huh?


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[Assistant] If it wasn't for that hat, you wouldn't be far from that right now. So that's your lightning strike story.


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[Assistant] I gotta hear more about yo grandma almost getting arrested. But it's gonna be after this first break. We'll be back.


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[Assistant] When it comes to men's underwear, Tommy John's Hammock Pouch underwear is the full package. Oh yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I guarantee you when you're wearing Tommy John's hammock pouch underwear, you're that much more comfortable so you can do everything better. You can even drink tea better. Can't you say? Oh yeah.


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[Assistant] Hey, with dozens of comfort innovations, once you've tried Tommy John underwear, you're never gonna go back. Innovations like an air mesh interior hammock and moisture wicking fabric with four times the stretch of competing brands, plus the legs never ride up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right where it should be. That's why Tommy John doesn't have customers, they have fanatics. Fanatics that call Tommy John's Hammock Pouch one of life's greatest inventions. With over 17 million pairs sold, men across America love their Tommy John underwear. Si, how many pairs you got now?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] 20% off your first order right now at tommyjohn.com slash duck. Go to tommyjohn.com slash duck today for 20% off tommyjohn.com slash duck. 20% off boys. See site for details.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I was- You didn't bring me no chocolate covered pecan? No, no, no.


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[Assistant] It was cool. That is a cool aspect of this. I had no idea that our ramblings would mean so much to so many. It is what it is. And I think we're on the verge of one.


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[Assistant] Hey, we just called eight flats for no reason. Well, they needed to slow down. Well, there was a red light coming. I mean, for crying out loud, I think you could have got their attention at the red light.


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[Assistant] Did they do anything when she got out?


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[Assistant] So she's just trying to, so grandma trying to do the right thing. Move over for emergency vehicles.


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[Assistant] All the while going straight down Arkansas road. There's a time in here where common sense would have been pretty good. Are they talking to each other? Who's your grandma's friend?


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[Assistant] Let me tell you what they're doing. What's that conversation like? I wish they'd just go around us.


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[Assistant] That's why I was going to say, grandma, all you had to do was like when you eased over, if you'd have backed off the gas, you'd have figured out.


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[Assistant] Cause at 85, anything could've happened.


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[Assistant] He could have shown up and ruined your bridge. Oh yeaah. That's all I'm going to.


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[Assistant] But HR is not just about avoiding risk. As a business leader, you should try to do right by the people that you employ. That's why you need Bambi. Bambi is an HR platform built for businesses like yours so that you can automate the most important HR practices and get your own dedicated HR manager. First,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Bambi's HR Autopilot automates your core policies, workplace training, and employee feedback. Then your dedicated HR manager will help you navigate the more complex parts of HR and guide you to compliance available by phone, email, or real-time chat anytime. An in-house HR manager can cost up to $80,000 a year.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But with Bambi, your dedicated HR manager starts at just $99 a month. No hidden fees, and you can cancel anytime.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's a lot of money right back in your pocket. I'm not real good at math, but that's pretty big savings. Bambi has received thousands of five star reviews on Trustpilot and their customers are four times less likely to have a claim filed against them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You run your business, let Bambi run your HR. Go to Bambi.com slash Duck right now for your free HR audit spelled B-A-M-B-E-E dot com slash Duck. Bambi.com slash Duck.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Unless you get busted at the airport again. How many does it take to get you tea right?


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[Assistant] Oh, right from the utter. Right from the utter. Straight from the source.


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[Assistant] I did have that conversation with somebody this weekend. I called them a redneck. They said, nah, we ain't a redneck. We just country. I said, whoa, whoa, whoa, time out. What's that? I said, you got to think of this thing like a pyramid.


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[Assistant] Country at the top, right? Probably. And then you go Redneck, Hillbilly.


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[Assistant] John Rich, Willys Twice, who's that over there, Colt Ford?


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[Assistant] That'll work. Psychotic. That's what he is.


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[Assistant] Look, here, you wanna know how, you wanna know how loyal our fans are. I have one person at that deal come up to me and said, you know, you hurt my feelings about seven years ago. What'd you do? I said, uh oh.


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[Assistant] That is a strong possibility. I'm not going to even say that I'm, I'm better than that.


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[Assistant] And he said, you remember when y'all had that 4th of July celebration at the office? I said.


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[Assistant] Yeah, I remember that day and he said, well, I was in the pie eating contest. He said, whoop.


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[Assistant] Who won that thing? Mountain Man won the pie eating contest. Remember something like that.


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[Assistant] And that's what he said that I, I embarrassed him and hurt his feelings over it. He said, I told him he was embarrassing big people everywhere.


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[Assistant] That's funny though. And then he told me, he said, you know what happened to the rest of my pies?


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[Assistant] Man, that's seven years. I can't even make a good guess. And he said, Goblin came up to me, got it and took a big old bite out of it. I said, no, I believe that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But that, that boy had held that for seven years. Well, is he, did he get over it? Yeah, he said he did. And then he sent me a message on Facebook and he said, I was just kidding. You didn't really hurt my feelings, but he had me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You have me going at that show. That's all me, doll. That's no problem.


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[Assistant] From 1953 to 1987, personnel assigned to Marine Corps based Camp Lejeune were potentially exposed to contaminated drinking water.


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[Assistant] The Marine Corps has since partnered with health agencies to conduct scientific studies to assess impacts from these potential exposures.


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[Assistant] And they are working to keep those Marines, their families, and civilian employees informed with updates and resources available to them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you or someone you know may have been at Camp Lejeune during those years, please consider registering with the Camp Lejeune


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Historic drinking water notification database. Once again, that's the Camp Lejeune.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Historic drinking water notification database. You can learn more and register.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] clwater, that's www.marines.com


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Drive-ins were a hoot. What was your favorite movie you ever saw in a drive-in?


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[Assistant] It's ridiculous. No, no, no, no, no, no. It's 20, 20, 25 ahead. Yeah. To go do it right. Yeah.


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[Assistant] That's why I say, we ain't ducks. It ain't human season. Don't make any sense.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hmm, but I couldn't tell you the last time I went to the movie theater.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They've made it so convenient for you to do the same experience at your house.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wow, there's nothing saying you can't go walk in, grab your popcorn, and go back home.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. You really, most time when I went, I watched the people. I was like, I wanted to see how people reacted in said movie.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, and I low key judge the people down there on the front row. Like how do y'all make this work? Why is this okay?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it hurts your neck. I went down there and experienced it one time. I like the middle. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, and I'm the guy on the end so I can throw my leg out there in the aisle. I'm a big old boy now. I needed some room to move.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's known as an in person ghost. Roll up.


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[Assistant] I never forget, that was really like our first really like strong day of production outside the office.


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[Assistant] We drove that 100 yard stretch of Phil and Kay's house 19 times to get the timing right with that rascal, mountain man.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause they were like, we need it like 10 seconds or less, mountain man. Nope. Couldn't do it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] One time, Sy, go ahead. Hit it and send us the break. No, no. Alright, we're going to take a break. We'll be right back. Let's get out of here.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's not child proof anymore, but if you're wondering how you're going to find your next piece of outdoor gear, Battle Box makes it where it finds you. You don't have to find it. It is your go-to monthly subscription.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is your go-to monthly subscription for hand-picked outdoor survival and everyday carry gear. Getting the best gear for yourself not only takes time but can be incredibly expensive. That's why Battlebox brings you


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Name brand, high quality products every month at half the price of what they'd cost on their own. Just pick the box that works for you and get tested and vetted products you can trust and selected by an expert team of outdoor professionals from an Aquapod emergency water kit to an Atomic Bear Survival Bivi delivered right to your doorstep each month.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Battle Box has shipped over 1 million boxes since 2015 and has been featured everywhere from the New York Times to Survivor's Edge. Check out the Typhoon matches, they're still burning.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's a free mystery box worth $115 right now at TryBattleBox.com slash Duck. TryBattleBox.com slash Duck.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, we're back. And we're back. What's in that mail bag? Hello at DuckCallRoom.com is the mail bag. Or!


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[Assistant] Well, Jehu. Yep. Why are you hanging around somebody?


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[Assistant] I'm just trying to keep the boy from getting some fleas. I'm not saying he shouldn't help him.


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[Assistant] But maybe sometimes when you lose something, that causes you to buck up a little bit.


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[Assistant] If you keep on, it's gonna rub off. And sometimes the act of dropping is all the, all the, all our friend Owen needs to straighten up a little bit. So you know. Straighten up Owen.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Great name though, Owen. Yeah, that's cool. But hey, Jay Hoo.


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[Assistant] Good on you, son, for taking the time to hand write a letter concerned about another human.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes. And he's listening, huh? I bet that's tough.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Can I tell you the problem? We should eat more avocados. Can I tell you the problem with avocado?


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[Assistant] They tried to replace cheese with an avocado. What? They started putting it on everything.


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[Assistant] Deal like you could order this with some avocados, that's fine. Now everything you looked up, it won't be long, Popeye's gonna have avocados.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're the person that brings Fritos and canned bean dip.


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[Assistant] That's what avocados is. They just don't have a whole lot to offer. You don't ever look up and they got a homemade pie or a brisket. Who brought the avocado? Yeah, nobody's ever asked that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, if you basically make pico with guac- with avocado in it. I like the guacamole. Yeah, because it's got a bunch of distractions. Holy guacamole.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And here's why I couldn't. Look, my hat is off. Cause people suck. To all servers. And especially good servers. My hat's off to them.


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[Assistant] Because you're the messenger for screw-ups and they continue to shoot you.


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[Assistant] I'm always very kind and cordial to those people because I have no, even if you bring me the exact wrong thing.


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[Assistant] I'm not gonna huff and puff. I'm not gonna do- I'm gonna leave you a tip regardless. And what does getting mad do? Nothing.


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[Assistant] All it does is increases the chance that saliva ends up in your food or something that happens when you can't see it.


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[Assistant] Just be nice. Just be kind. They might have made a mistake, but just be nice. It doesn't cost you one dime to be kind to people.


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[Assistant] And especially in today's world, what servers are having to go through, my goodness gracious. I was at the airport last night, DFW.


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[Assistant] Ticket counter people. Y'all also don't get enough respect. I'm just telling you right now, you don't. They're mad at them because of the weather. And they didn't do nothing. Homie chunks his bag.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There wasn't no reason to do it. And look, buddy, I feel your pain. I've walked up to that door before and seen that plane at the end of that jet bridge, but I couldn't get on it. I've been there. It sucks. Yep. But guess who's fault it ain't that lady at that ticket counter. She did not. It is not her fault.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And throw it in that bag, it hurt in that counter. You know what that got you? It got you home at the same time he's gonna get home this morning.


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[Assistant] I mean, he just come, just proceeded to show his butt.


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[Assistant] And I was like, buddy, it's a bad deal. I've been on both sides. I've been...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've been the guy as the doors closing hitting me in the butt going down the jet bridge and I've been the one that was like, ehh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, in all of our jobs to an extent, our customer service, you know, it's like for us, we're the face of this company, whether we want to be or not, you know, Mesa. You know what I'm not? I'm not rude.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Out there. That's what somebody said to me. Said, how you do this? Talking about me at the basketball class? I'm like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] These people get one chance to stop and talk to me. Why am I going to be rude to them? I'm going to shake their hand. If they want a picture, let's take it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If we want to sign something, here's my pen, like let's do it, and then let's move on, because it didn't cost me not one thing to be kind to that person.


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[Assistant] Yeah. And that's the way if, if we would flip that script.


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[Assistant] Right. But by God, it'll fix humanity.


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[Assistant] She ain't got nothing to do with it. She punches that number in on that ticker and says sorry bro. Rude. She got orders from headquarters. And if you go to Walmart to buy your fishing poles?


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[Assistant] There you go. Got em! Hey, you wanna, you wanna use Phillips first to close this up? Did you have one? Cause I had one too. The one that he just said. I love it. Do you know what that is?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, I love it. I thought you were going to tell the story about when you went.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Y'all went fishing and you put two leads down and it was cranking and you passed out and when you woke up you had a boat full of fish.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I was talking with Sy's wife last week. I was over at their house visiting and she said, did Sy tell you about his sleepwalking episode? And I said, I have heard that Sy, when he was young, would sleepwalk a lot.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] She said, not only did he sleepwalk, he got up, got dressed, got in his truck and took off down the road and had his tea with him when he woke up. Lately?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We're, we're going the way they told us to, to head home. And I see, uh,


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[Assistant] Jep and Jessica on the side of the road standing beside Jep's truck.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I said, Sy, slow down. That looks like Jep. He said, that is Jep. And then he punched the gas. I said.


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[Assistant] I need to carry some spike strips with me in front of the sire.


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[Assistant] So you got a birthday coming up. Real soon.


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[Assistant] Did it? Yeah. In West Monroe? Yeah, all over here. Was your grandmama there? She was driving the getaway car, Martin.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Everybody's quick to go guns around here boys.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Since we're talking about this, so Mountain Man called me, this has been a while back, and he was like, I said, what's up Mountain Man? He said, you want to go to the movies? I said, yes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So me and Mountain Man go to the movies at Tinseltown. What movie? Just you and Mountain Man on a bro date to Tinseltown. Yeah. He was like, Hey, I want to see, you know, go check this movie out. I was like, okay. I did not know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So it's dark and I'm coming in, you know, he's already got the seat and he's like, Philip, I'm over here. I said, shh. He said, I'm being as quiet as I can.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I said that's the last movie that I go to with Mountain Man. And he never quit talking during the whole movie. What movie was it?


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[Assistant] Yeah, I just want, I guess give $5 for that Willie. Well, here's 10. Bye.


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[Assistant] First of all, what a great heart this kid's got. He wants to help his friends.


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[Assistant] You can't go down here and get a BLT without them putting avocados on it.


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[Assistant] Let's, let's go with restaurants for- Alright, my name is-


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[Assistant] Always remember that man's anger doesn't bring about the righteous life God requires.


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[Assistant] So I, thank you for your service. I've never worked at a restaurant, but I have.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And still do work in the service industry where we're having to talk with people. So, I mean, it's customer service all the time.


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[Assistant] We're going, me and Si are going to Texas to go on a little hunt this evening and tomorrow. It's everywhere.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I wanted, I wanted to start this out and tell y'all about the veterans hunt this past weekend. You know, in Louisiana, they give us a, a weak buffer and then.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] One day. Well, last year was a veteran's day and a youth day. Today was the veterans and youth on the same day.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This has been a struggle bus for us duck season this year, but uh.


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[Assistant] So which way does it go? Is it? So were you out there? So I wasn't there. I wasn't there. I had Macmillan Macmillan had lined up some trip. Previous engagement boy. He went, he went to, I'll let him tell you all about it. I'm sure he's got a, some good stories off that trip.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Anyways, long story short, all the veterans showed up to see Si, he wasn't there.


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[Assistant] And, uh, but we ain't good anyway. That's pitiful. Haha. Went duck hunting the next morning and did not kill a duck.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Y'all didn't kill a duck? Did not kill a duck. A week after? A week after the season closed, all the ducks left. A front came through, they all left. No, they never come down. No, they were there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause we killed him the last weekend of the season. I don't believe it. I didn't see him. That's cause you didn't hunt for a month and a half.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's the first time I've ever heard you say that.


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[Assistant] So anyways, we, uh, we went duck hunting, didn't kill a duck, you know, I was a little disappointed in that, but it is what it is. And we went back to Phil's house and he made his famous smash butter burgers. Uh oh. That's a good one. And that was the highlight of the day.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But anyways, we, we, we aim to kind of make things right on this trip to Texas. You know, fill the freezer up with some nice back straps and, and then we'll, we'll, we'll look forward to doing a little fishing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, here's how it went down. You know, Les is a good friend of ours. He's from Texas. So odds are he's a pretty good feller. That's right. He's from Texas. You got better eyes than other places, but we were, we were going duck cutting one morning and uh, Phil never met Les before and he,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, uh, he looked down there and he said, stone, get old, get old, get old, get old, get old, evil eye in that blind. And y'all started handing me the grit. So.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We laughed, Les laughed, you know, I laughed, Evil Eye. So, well, from then on, his name was Evil Eye.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But they had the podcast on, on the Unashamed podcast where Jace was griping at Phil. Cause he didn't want to use the word evil in somebody's name. And Phil says, well, Stone said that was his name. Oh, so you got hung with him.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] At this time, at this point in time, Si didn't know less very well.


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[Assistant] And that's all I got to say. Oh, that's exactly why that, he stood up and was pointing at that gay boy and he said, ain't nobody smoked nothing.


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[Assistant] Oh yeaah, I got that footage somewhere. I was on the edge of that truck with my phone like this and Sy just kept looking at me.


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[Assistant] Now, uh, Les showed up this morning and we all fixin' to get in the rig and...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Me, Les, and Sal, we gonna go down to South Texas. Have us a little. What y'all after, Les? A little safari or something.


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[Assistant] That's one good thing about being friends with Les, you got friends all over Texas now.


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[Assistant] Lots of. Lots of. I know one thing, I'm looking forward to that clean air.


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[Assistant] Well, I'm glad we got to set the record straight. Oh yeah.


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[Assistant] Who named from the man himself on who named who. So now, now we know.


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[Assistant] Let's say Uncle Cyan is a costume man.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How long have you been carrying around the lemon juice now? About a month.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, oh, something happened at Phil and Kay's, I meant to tell y'all about. Uh-oh. What happened down there? So, you know, Kay's sister ain't Ann.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So anyway, they, they stay up late watching these lifetime movies and whatnot. So the dog bowl is behind the couch. You know where Bobo's dog bowl is? You know, Miss Kay's couch is over here and then there's another couch 45 degrees from it. Yep. Well.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And there's a big gun catch. A man was sitting on the couch with the back to the dog bowl.


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[Assistant] Kay was sitting on the other couch watching the TV. Well, Kay was asleep and A&A is sitting there. She heard this crunching.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So like dog eat dog food. So Bobo getting him some dog. She went up, she looked at Kay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And all three of them dogs were asleep right next to Kate. Uh oh. So she turned and looked, looked over her shoulder and she don't know what it was.


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[Assistant] It's a critter. She hollered. Ahhhhh. A critter.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He was up on his haunches, just a-crunching on that dog food. She's, she's, I don't know what it was. I've never seen nothing like it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So Phil comes in there, he's investigating now. He said, Phil had it down to, he was convinced it was a mink because a rat is not smart enough to go out that doggy door.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Which it made a little bit of sense. Now, Ain't Ann said it went out the doggie door, but it was not confirmed. So Phil calls me up, he says, don't get your deer cameras set them up on the dog food.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They said, yeah, we got to find out what this varmint is. But in the meantime, I told dad, I said, get some of them sticky traps and put them where, where everything is. Well, where all the evidence of a varmint has been. So something that won't hurt the dogs, you know? Yeah. So.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] All of a sudden the next day the electricity goes out on one side of the house. Uh oh. Okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So they bring the electrician in, he pulls back the gun cabinet against the wall and there's five pounds of dog food.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Under the gun cabinet stored behind the gun kit. We got a pack on our hands. That's right. So that just.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Made Phil think even more so that it was something other than a rat because rat ain't smart enough to do that well.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, like you say pack rat, that's where that come from. Turns out, uh, it was a giant rat.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That it was gathering the dog food and carrying it to the other rats, storing it behind a gun case.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Going back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. It wasn't a mink, it wasn't any of that, so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Guess what it is. Let me tell you something, that rant.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's a boy. Now A&M was right on her description. He was that long. The body.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Was that, I don't think, I saw one that big in Afghanistan. Big kangaroo rat. That sounded like a wharf rat.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But anyways, there for about three days, it was, it was, you know,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've noticed on all of them old pictures, the sign that in that tour, uh, when he was in NOM and in the army.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They want, they all, all those pictures were decided to have one thing in common.


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[Assistant] He was laughing and everybody around him was laughing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hey, got to have fun. Cause the boys go where the kid go.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And like Sy said, it took him a while to figure out what he was good at.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I would say figure out what, what, which one, which option will be best for your family and go with that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And the purple shirt says, we're fixing to go to South Texas. That's right. But we're going to leave it with a Bible verse. I got you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I ain't clocked in yet. Now we're clocked in. And what we're gonna talk about today is, hey, relationships. Relationships. The human race, okay, relationships with this ball we call earth that we live on, okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The relationship between all these stupid human beings, which I'm one of them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, and uh, I did make the prediction on the.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] National championship for college. Who was going to win that? And they pulled it off because they showed up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm not sure. Hey, it has a relationship to between the coach and the men that are playing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] These are grown men, okay. That's why it was so funny when I was in high school, y'all getting ready to graduate from high school and Coach Sigrist told me, you know I can get you a walk on on Louisiana Tech, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I like to fell out, you know, I was on the floor laughing as a coach.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You ain't looked at me lately, had you? I weigh 130 pounds when I'm soaking wet with all my equipment on. And I said, and hey, I've been in the locker room at Tech. Phil plays football over there and soldiers time me. I said, Hey, I'm a child. Okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Them boys are grown men and big grown men. So nah, I don't want to know that. I love the game, but forget that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And how long have you been married, my young man? I've been married for 11 years. For 11 years and you ain't got a clue?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well tell me something about the woman that you're living your life with and having children with.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You wouldn't be here if it wasn't for moms. That's very true. And dads. It takes two boys.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's a, well hey, you live on a ball, are you doing something, uh, you know, trying to take care of what you've got, being a good steward of the earth?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, uh, all the different species of animals, different species of birds, different species of fish, all this stuff. Cause I was watching last night, this guy's studying octopus. Okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And he, he actually brought a giant aquarium and put it in his living room where he could interact with this stupid octopus that lives on the bottom of the ocean.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, no, no, this is for real, okay. They brought and emptied, uh, uh, put a big aquarium in their living room and put an octopus in it. And then they had interactions with it. Relationships.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, no, cause then it went on and they started showing one somewhere, okay, on a, uh, like a prairie, shallow prairie in the ocean.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And guess what? It shows this octopus is, there's nothing on this prairie. Okay. It's about two foot deep, saltwater. So, well, there's all kind of, uh, uh, predators.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay. That eat octopus. Okay. So it shows this octopus. He's carrying two half of coconuts.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Come, he gets in the middle. He gets in the middle and closes them. It's like a whole coconut again until the pressure goes away.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He even used it, okay, it shows this coconut laying on the bottom of the ocean, and it shows this, uh, some kind of fish coming by, and all of a sudden, you BWAH!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're hollow anyway. It's got about a quarter to half inch of coconut and it's full of coconut milk. Real coconut milk. Have you ever had coconut milk? Not like the box kind. That's garbage. And screw you a hole or either drill with a drill bit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, I love coconut. Especially fresh coconut.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was, it was amazing to watch, okay, cause it's your shark coming swimming by.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's why I was saying look. Oh, I'm with you. You gotta think about it. I didn't doubt you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Everything on this ball we live on is about relationships.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So they used anything they found on the bottom notion, they take it and then use it for good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, the crab had been something that got it and ate it and all it left was a crab shell.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's so much, okay, uh, intrigue.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, when the scientists start doing what they do, okay, about looking into different species and everything that they go through and all this stuff, that's very intriguing and, uh, exciting even.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You probably had to stop paddling for that one. This is so cool. Okay. Cause this is just one creature. Think of all the creatures you come into. Cause one time I was watching it again. Okay. And they're in the Amazon jungle.


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[Assistant] Hey, Tommy John has fanatics. Absolutely.


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[Assistant] But anyway, hey, we're back in Amazon, okay? Look, these are giant parrots.


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[Assistant] Jett, you know, these things are about the size of, uh, just, they're smaller than a turkey. Say, say about a half grown turkey.


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[Assistant] Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But they just all, you got to think about this all different colors.


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[Assistant] Bright yellows, and I mean, when I'm saying bright, I'm talking about the brightest yellow and come up with the brightest orange. Just, just all of it. They just literally glow and there's thousands of them.


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[Assistant] Okay, and it's like a cliff, and that's where they, they build their nest. And it shows all this junk.


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[Assistant] They've got islands, uh, up in the Arctic for penguins and all this junk always.


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[Assistant] And they, and they found a, they thought they was extinct.


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[Assistant] And they found it was one of the satellites we got up there in space. Okay. And they're looking, they're going over the Arctic. Well, the Arctic is solid ice and snow, which is white. Well, they're going over and here's a brown track. Okay. Going off through the snow or ice.


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[Assistant] Well they followed this stupid thing and what it is was penguin poop.


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[Assistant] No, no, I'm serious. Then they zoom in, okay, and they said, voila, they're not extinct. There's still one big bunch of them on the tip of the Arctic. What are they? Some kind of pinkling is all I know. But, but hey, they found them from their poop.


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[Assistant] And they can swim like a fish. Anything that can catch a fish and eat it is fast.


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[Assistant] Variety of wildlife and all this stuff that's happening all around us, and most people don't even get involved with it.


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[Assistant] Yeah. Cause like most people have really not enjoyed a sunrise.


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[Assistant] Cause we, we're saying, we always say, oh, the sun is setting or oh, the sun is coming up this morning. No, it ain't. It ain't doing none of that. This earth is rotating.


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[Assistant] Okay, in the morning time when you go out and it's dark, 430 a.m. in the morning, it's dark. Well, you sit there and you're looking east and there's a flank glow starts.


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[Assistant] And then 730 or so, you see the top of the sun, it ain't coming up.


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[Assistant] Okay, till I can see, see the sun. I'm going towards the sun, the rotation.


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[Assistant] Okay, when it's setting, that means the earth is rotated and it's behind me.


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[Assistant] It's done come up, went above me, got noon time right above me, and now it's going the other way.


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[Assistant] You'd be in the ocean and as soon as it rotated, it dropped. That's where gravity comes into work.


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[Assistant] No, no, no, you don't even have to tell me that we went on a, I guess you would call it a duck hunting tour or trip.


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[Assistant] It's 430 AM in the morning. We're on this river and you can wade across it anywhere. Right below, uh, yeah. Can't think of the name, stupid thing. Oh.


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[Assistant] Oh, it makes me so mad. Can't remember. Rio Grande? No, it was Rio Grande.


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[Assistant] Shooting stars, planets burning up or whatever you want to call it. Meteors. Planets burning up. One of them, look, one of them was humongous. Okay, and it gets right above us and it busts a little bit, busts off the back of it.


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[Assistant] So now we got a giant one going and then the little big one trading it. Now you talking about, and look.


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[Assistant] It didn't look like it was very high above us. Okay. It's crystal clear and failed looking and he said, boys.


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[Assistant] He said, what you're looking at, that big ball of fire we're going to see going across the sky and then it just broke off and a little piece is trailing it.


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[Assistant] He said that is, it ain't no telling how big of a planet that is, that's on fire.


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[Assistant] But we've seen 17 different things, okay, that did that, that morning. And like you're talking about, I'd have loved, if I'd had a telescope, I would have loved to look at it. It was close enough as it was, but if you had had like a pair of binoculars that you could brought it a little closer, it'd be scary.


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[Assistant] That tastes like, it's humongous. Okay.


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[Assistant] No, no, that's the thing. They have no idea how far it is, but it's so big that the scientists are going.


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[Assistant] Yeah, but on a clear night, like you're talking about.


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[Assistant] That's why I tell everybody, I said, you need to look up at night and they're called constellations. And there's 88 of them. Okay. That the scientists know about. Okay. And these are stars. And when you look up and you can see here is two horses.


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[Assistant] With a chariot behind it, with a driver, with the reins, with the spokes of the wheels and all this. Okay. And you can look at me with a, uh, you know.


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[Assistant] He's a human freaking encyclopedia. It's unbelievable. Oh no no no, but look, there's the horses with the chariot, all that with the driver, and then there's another one, okay, it's a man, and he's got a bow and arrow, and it's at full draw with the arrow.


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[Assistant] But anyway, yeaah, all this stuff, yeaah, that's why when I die and go to heaven, I'm going to be an interstellar traveler.


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[Assistant] Cause I'm going to tell Jesus, I said, Hey, I want about two weeks or a month and I'm going to go look at all this creation. You know, cause we just see a little minute portion. I want to see a lot.


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[Assistant] Until this young man Googled it on his phone and he said, oh man, you are in error, sir. And I said, what? He said, it ain't 10,000. It's 100,000.


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[Assistant] 100,000. If you took him and stretched him out, 100,000 miles.


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[Assistant] My brother, he fills the duck hole up with a pump, okay? Stainless steel. 36,000 gallons a minute.


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[Assistant] Alright, look, and it's breaking down all the time. This is stainless steel for crying out loud. It's breaking down. This little fleshly thing I've got now it's been worked on.


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[Assistant] Okay, this ain't gravity feed. Okay, this is, oh, remember this, gotta pump this.


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[Assistant] Up and downhill. And look, when they first done it, when they was finding out about DNA, when they looked at it, it looked like a big barge. Okay.


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[Assistant] That had a tugboat behind it pushing it.


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[Assistant] Is the only way I can describe it when they was looking at DNA.


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[Assistant] I love this guy. A thumb. That's one important member of this little body of mine. There's, hey, this thing, you know, there's so many things that you couldn't do if you didn't have a thumb.


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[Assistant] Okay, something. Yeah, something.


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[Assistant] Okay, there is the paint rock river valley. Okay. Had got the paint rock river running through it. I had lived in my buddy's house up in the country. Okay.


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[Assistant] And my water source was a spring.


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[Assistant] Cold, crystal clear, sweet water.


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[Assistant] And every once in a while I had to walk up the mountain, okay, which was about a mile high.


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[Assistant] Okay, and clean a screen that I had in front of over a PBC pipe. Three inch.


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[Assistant] The guy that built all this, he made it three, grease pipe,


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[Assistant] Two inch pipe, one inch pipe to a half inch pipe coming down the mountain. My water pressure was probably all 65 to 80 pounds, square pounds per square inch.


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[Assistant] Cause when I turn it on, I just fill a glass up ice cold sweet water. Now in the twenties, there was a drought in paint rock valleys. Okay. The paint rock river at the bottom of the mountain, bone dry.


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[Assistant] That little spring I'm talking about was about as big.


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[Assistant] As this table, okay, circle, it was about waist deep, a little better than waist deep. You could just stand up there and look at it and it would be bubbling white sand on the bottom of it.