[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If something is destroyed, does it not then become something else? Does it not replicate in some way and then live on in some way? Like all the concepts are, I think, there and I think Alex Garland made a movie that would emotionally resonate other than just having you like, oh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What are, what are these theories? Like I think it hits you like in a guttural reaction too. And...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, the only thing that kind of I didn't like about the movie...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Was, I like Gina Rodriguez a lot. I think that's her name, right? The actress that's from- Is she related to the Virgin? Is she related to-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause she was just kind of injected in that I think for the, cause in the book it's all like they're all scientists and they don't know each other's identity. But in this it's like having her kind of as a non-scientist. She's still somebody that's like skilled in, you know, she's a paramedic so she's skilled in medicine.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But, uh, to have that character that's like the Ellen Page of Inception going, w-w-what is dat? Like, I don't know what dat is, oh good, like I kinda was not...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I think with James, like I said, it was that archetype that forced down your throat, a character archetype that bothered me because it just felt so...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I guess I'm also biased from the book and it's like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't think there is that character. It's just the four women that go in. I like in the books you don't know that the director is one of the women.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know, I still thought it was a really good movie and I liked it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I do like her, but I thought, like, just the way she, she played her, her, like, level of, of just her subdued, kinda serious, you know, monotone nature sold it. Uhm, yea, it was pretty cool.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] At a certain point. It's like maybe it, it should


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The second I saw Aperture, I knew I was gonna give it to him. He should play Michael Scott on the Norwegian version of The Office. I'm confident in that. Look at this guy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But Greg, he said I have porfinos in my bag, so, is that what he likes?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know. Whatever he likes, he said. Portillo's? Portillo's, he said. In the place he likes. He said, I have this in my bag, I'm going to eat this. You guys have the Indian food. Everyone ate the Indian food and got perfectly ill.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Flitz! Worked in the same building with him for a year. Flitz.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, yes, I've played all of those games. Uh, Pandemic is the one I've played the most. You haven't played Legacy? Have you played Legacy? Not Legacy though. I bought a friend a season of Legacy thinking that we'd play with them. Haven't yet though. But the original Pandemic, played a bunch because you can play it in like 30 minutes. But uh, Arkham Horror is a little long.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's good though, there's uh, what's the elder sign? It's like an abbreviated version that's pretty good. Do you guys keep all your board games?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Mysterium is like one of my favorite games, which is semi...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They sold Shrek out hard. I bet they did. Actually, you're right about that. I don't even know if you know that. I just think that you're right.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Don't kill us, Christmas! That looks good. That's one of my favorite quotes from our previous employment.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So Lawrence, my speculation on this was that Battlefront, the first one,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] While people played it, they kinda shit on it, and they were like, uh, it's not enough for a, you know, it's only multiplayer, so I paid $60, $70, whatever for an only multiplayer game. So I think with EA, they went one of two ways, which was, or maybe they did a combination of both, which was they were worried about Battlefront 2.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So then they decided to experiment with a bunch of weird microtransactions? Like you said? Or, or I think, uhm,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think they were like, well, we need these microtransactions because Battlefront 2 is not going to sell.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, which was, yeaah, and so for me, I was, I actually thought Battlefront 2 would sell better.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, usually that's what sequels do, but I think they were worried because Battlefront 1 didn't do nearly as well as they wanted it to.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] People were expecting Last Jedi to not do as well as Force Awakens. So, so for you, if what you said is correct, probably, that the hype was the highest back when Battlefront came out and Force Awakens came out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Maybe. Are you burned out, Bruce? I'm not burned out. I was really excited about this game until...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Everybody started shitting on it. Literally everyone. Even Lawrence, like, who really likes Star Wars.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, and you were really looking forward to the single player, you were looking forward to the multiplayer. I was, I was. And like Rahul, he was, he's also a huge Star Wars Battlefront fan. He still plays the first one, and he just shit on Battlefront 2. So I was like, all my friends are basically saying don't buy the game. Even though nobody said that, I'm just like, well why would I buy this game if everybody's shitting on it?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, so that's the way. I haven't bought it yet. I pre-ordered the other one. I pre-ordered Battlefront.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, but I'm staying away, uh, for now cause it just sounds like a clusterfuck. So did you beat the singleplayer Lawrence?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Lawrence, I can, I can tell you, I'll, I'll play, you know, super devil's advocate here. Sure. I know that like whenever I read Star Wars books or whatever, if I'm reading books about four or five brand new characters in the Star Wars universe, I want to kill myself. Sure. Because I don't, it doesn't matter to me. I don't care. And it doesn't, it has no effect on the Star Wars universe at large. But if I can read books that are either


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Kind of related to the main characters or are the main characters? I get super excited about it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, and maybe that has worn off a little bit as I've gotten older, but when I was a kid it was a huge deal.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, yeah, maybe that's it. I'm coming at it from too harsh of a...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, well, I'm just guessing that that's probably what they've done audience research and they're like, I want to know what Luke is doing. Like, not, I want to know what Aiden Versio is doing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm not this narrow minded normally, but it sounds to me like there's either one person or a group of people, like three or four people at EA.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're getting the worst possible response from the internet, and then finally someone's like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, alright, we apologize. We're sorry, we're sorry. But I think along the way, they're like, fuck em. We're gonna, we're gonna try and figure out how to fuck these people so hard. And that makes me really upset. Because this is, it's a Star Wars game.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I do feel bad for the developers though, Lawrence, to your point. Because they made a beautiful game, and it seems to play very, very well.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And that's the thing is that like, EA, they do make great games. I've always liked EA games and I have for years. Uh, but when they monetize them, like James just said, they're really bad at hiding their middle finger.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So they're, they're always kinda lookin' to fuck you, and everybody sorta knows it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, whereas Rockstar, they really know what they're doing, especially when they're monetizing, like with GTA Online, it's a great example. Uhm, people, I don't know if people, people bitch about it, but I don't think they feel nearly the same passion that they do for like Battlefront 2 and stuff. So I would, I would love to see that if it went to Rockstar.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, they would. I mean, and that's the hard part. I think that's why EA, again, I would always say that's about the Fox television network versus like ABC, NBC, and CBS, is that Fox was willing to take chances. So I would watch crazy shows on Fox like Firefly and Arrested Development. Those are shows that would never have gotten greenlit on any other network.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think EA is a good example of a game company that's willing to try stuff, but they're also trying to monetize it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So they're willing to try Star Wars games and make them really good, but they're also


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The monetization, we didn't, we didn't know what we were doing. So, they may just be like, nevermind, we're not gonna do Star Wars anymore.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, that worries me, uh, because I liked EA's Star Wars games. I liked- I thought that was very cool.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The more we talk about this, Lawrence, the more I'm like, I wonder if they had planned this microtransaction stuff for the first battlefront and they didn't want to sour everybody on that property. So they were like, uh, we'll just save it for the next one because they thought that the next one would sell more.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, and so then they were like, well, you know, we'll have a little more leeway with the audience, uh, and then we can, we can try our crazy microtransaction experiments on Battlefront 2.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I mean, they probably, they probably don't see it that way. They probably see Star Wars, since they've been so protective of it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's why it's so popular. They're like, well no, it's been successful for this many years.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was gonna say, we've been saying that for years, that video games are the cheaper way of entertaining.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Shit, if it's Battlefront, I'm paying $90. Like if it's Star Wars, I'm, I'm, like I gotta, I gotta do it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think it's good too, I mean. I think every sales number ever would disagree with me though.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, okay. Alright, here we go. So what's the context of this, Lawrence?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Today has been a pretty good day for us. Over breakfast I downloaded and played through the first chapter in Moon Chronicles on the 3DS and had a ton of fun with it. So much that I shelled out $9.50 to download the remaining three chapters.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then, after that, Twi and I had a three hour long pet play session, during which we each came twice. That's just the beginning. Okay. Uh huh. She was in an extra subby mood today, and said that she wanted to be my little rut toy, and would do any naughty thing I wanted to please her master. So...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do you want as many times as you want? So I filled my adorable pet pony with all the kind I could give her. A long cuddle kissing session. Reading like a grocery list. Focus on licking my feet, sucking my toes. Alright, here we go. So here's the last pair. Here's the good stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Twi watched some documentaries on Netflix, I played a ton of Iron Fall Invasion on a 3DS, and eventually we got around to cleaning up from our morning loving. All the fur around Twi's nose and mouth smelled very strongly like my backside, and was even a little dirty here and there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was clean on the outside. Oh, I'm sorry, this is in parentheses. I was clean on the outside, but she was very enthusiastic with her rimming and forced her tongue as deep into me as she could, which did end up tinting the fur around her muzzle slightly brown.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So we ended up, that was close parenthesis right there. So we ended up having to give her fur a good scrubbing with a 50-50 mix of natural unscented laundry detergent and warm water to get it clean and odor free. Then a good four or five rinsings to get all the soap out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] She's clean and dry now though and just laying back in bed relaxing while I smoke a couple cigarettes and type this. So yea, it's been a good day.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, sure. I mean, I did. I think it's pretty weird. Smoking cigarettes? I think it's super fucking weird. You see that tongue? But hey, if somebody gets- if that's their outlet, then who cares? You know what? Sure. That's awesome. As long as that hurts.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Clean the poop out of my mustache with a 50-50 mix of laundry detergent and warm water.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, honestly, like, it's a really good dance. And there's some people dancing like they're enjoying it when they're filming it. There's a lot of people filming it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Then they get this. This sends him off to the greatest of afterwards.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, it said Policia on their, on their uniforms. Oh, maybe it's cute. So it might be absolutely Florida. It's a Latino, Latino country.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This was obviously planned though. They wanted this to happen right before the casket was closed and it was lowered down.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They wanted it right then in the ceremony. I love it. I think it's great.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know, that's a good question. Yeah. Well the- I mean I hope the deceased wanted it. Well what happens if like, maybe like-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The deceased, let's say, okay, here's another scenario. Let's say your 17 year old son died of a freak accident, but the mom knew that all of their friends, like all they would do is rave all the time. And so the mom knew that that's what he loved. So she was like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Friends, can you come and dance him into the apple? Would that be okay with you?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm gonna, I'm voting for the funeral only because I want to know what happened. I want somebody to do some investigative journalism on this. And I want to figure out the story behind it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He can still go fast. He'd just have a little bit of an AIDS belly.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] People will watch what you do. Yea, and they thought that. They were wrong. They were wrong about a lot of things.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I want to start a Twitch account called Anonymous Gamer. And no one will know that I am the anonymous gamer. You just announced it. Facebook. Oh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Which blows my mind because that means that that streamer has never had a real job. They never had taxes taken out of a paycheck.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I thought Jacob played a lot. Apparently Jeremy plays like three times as much. Yeah, that's pretty sad Jacob. I'm gonna play at work though.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well it seemed like it was so drab in the first Destiny, and to me it's like the, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] To me it was like, it's like the Marvel movies now, where like the original Marvel movies weren't nearly as colorful, and now Doctor Strange and Thor Ragnarok look really super colorful and I'm super excited, and Guardians, yea. I'm really excited about that, like, I like that they're changing the color palette a little more.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes, yeah, absolutely. Okay, so you can compare the two. Like, I'm, I trust your opinion when it comes to Destiny and Halo. So you gotta pick one, sorry. Yeah. Okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Halo? Destiny? I mean like, and actually to your point Jacob,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The most fun that I had playing Halo, and granted I wasn't the greatest at Deathmatch,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But the most fun I had playing was with my friends in the co-op mode. Like when we would sit down and sit next to each other and play. I loved that. So the fact that Destiny can do that obviously online, just like, you know, all modern games now, uh, makes me want to play it more because I loved the shooting mechanic.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A Bungie. Like that was always the way. The gameplay in a Bungie game was always second to none. That's why.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well Old Republic's funny, uh, you bring that up actually, because when you beat the single player story,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's kind of the only time you ever do that. Once you do it, you're done, and you get the stuff that you need from that storyline, so you don't have to do it again. Uhm, at least the single player part of the Old Republic. Beyond that though, then that's the stuff that you talk about where you line up and have to beat Darth Vader a hundred times.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's the centerpiece. He's the thing that I always want to hear and immediately identify with.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, like, versus from what I heard, I didn't play Destiny 1, but from what I heard about Destiny 1 with, uh, Tyrion Lannister, you know, saying, like, I don't know how, apparently it was just very robotic and boring.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like probably 30 different teams made up of 20 people each working on one video game and if you don't have 2 or 3 people at the top


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Destiny 2 maybe feels a little more, uh, together because they had maybe somebody above, like Luke Smith.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I wanna know what do you not like about Destiny 2?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I understand that, I get the grind, but is there something that's like, you know, that you're like, I am working towards a certain gun, or a certain skill level.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, it's, it's, that's, it's the opposite of what you just described, which is like the word of mouth thing where everybody told everybody else, you gotta play this game because it's like the perfect survival game. And it was, this is exactly what I think the PC community needed right now because everybody had been looking for this survival, the perfect survival game for so long, for so many years.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And you know, Daisy was obviously a big hit, but it was garbage. And then King of the Kill and those were also pretty big, but they were garbage. Uh, and this is the closest that we've gotten so far. So.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If they can get it out in the next month, oh my gosh, it's gonna be huge. It's going to be huge.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, Forza's their big 1x push, which looks amazing. It does. Well, Battlegrounds is, I mean, that is a pretty big banner launch. I mean, like, that's gonna be, and they're doing exactly, Brendan Green and those guys are doing exactly the right thing, which is trying to get it out. I mean, like, if I were him, I'd be throwing a ton of money at it to try and get it out as soon as I possibly could on Xbox and making sure that it's good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They got the number one shooter in the world. Yeaah. And they're making money hand over fist right? I mean, like, yeaah, you're right, theoretically they shouldn't. I don't know, obviously, their business, so I don't know how much money they're making and, you know, if they're, if they're getting all the checks right now, if like, you know, bags of money are rolling in or they have to wait six months.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They do that on purpose, I feel like. Which I don't like. Uhm, but when you play Rainbow Six you don't feel exactly in control. But maybe that's by design.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's just different. You can't panic. That game does not reward panic or twitch at all. It's actually exactly the opposite. You have to be cool under pressure.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Play that instead of Destiny tonight, Jacob. Okay. I dare you. Stream it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I read through all of this. What the? So basically it's an entire world. Think of the Marvel universe, but it's an alliance of other universes that Bud Charles has basically written down. He's like the historian for the alliance of universes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What is, what could possibly be after this?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know. Oh yeah, no, it's the Unimodem, uh, YouTube channel. Oh, 1200 subscribers. An 81-year-old crushes American Ninja Warrior.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Did somebody just take down that video right now? Is that why it's not playing?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wow, wait, they're dancing now, so does she fall in love with them? They're doing a classic waltz, that's nice.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If only if this is not, or if this is original and brand new and nobody's seen it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Have you seen the map of the central alliance metaverse? Oh my goodness. These are where the universes are.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Absolutely, there's Storm Druze, and there's a flag. Okay. There it is, you see that? Circle represents the inclusiveness of the Alliance and its reach across the Metaverse. This hurts my eyes. And it does, it's all really bright green. White, texas, lime green.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] People have been tweeting me for an entire year asking where I got that shirt. And it was only sold for one day before and now it's finally back on the store.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's the 24th and 25th I wanna say? 24th and 25th. I can't call this a reunion because we've never been all together, so it's more of a union.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh boy. I hope they hired a Tiger Beat photographer to come by. I gotta hope! Because they should be shooting all of us, including, obviously, Sugar Pine 7.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Jeff's making us food. Is he really? I mean, if we get the 1,500 first memberships.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, fun fact, Star Wars, fun fact, the planet Naboo is actually a typo, it was supposed to say Jar Jar, was the name of the planet. Planet Jar Jar. But it was a typo, George Lucas accidentally wrote Naboo, started filming, filmed the whole movie, before remembering to change it, there you have Naboo. The rest is her story. Yeah. Her story?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, all I really know is that they don't want me to...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] See half of the features that they've put into the game because they think that I either have endless amount of money to spend on it and or an endless amount of time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, isn't there also, hasn't, uh, EA Dice come out and said like, this is just, this may currently just be the, the scheme for pre-release stuff, maybe we set it high. I don't know if they made a step, but that was like a theory that maybe they set it high so that way, by the time the game actually comes out, people don't have all these things.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Someone who lost everything because they bought three houses in Florida because they said it's cool. Let's think of some of some things that are almost universally loved. Video games, Star Wars, and then let's make it an unsatisfactory experience for most people.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like it's like you're asking to be burned. I just, the thing that blows my mind is who comes up with these models, these gameplay models blow my mind. I understand how you need to do something to make revenue as the thing goes on.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's several other mobile game models, games that charge you nothing, that have figured out how to do this, right? Like, Adam and I play a game that'll give you Wolverine.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, we'll let them play it for a thousand hours before they even want to do Vader. Like, you know, you have the statistics to know that someone will eventually do that, but most people won't get to enjoy that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Then you go, okay, so there's always a level of forgiveness. That's what I'm saying there. Even though they charged you nothing for the game.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But then give him Luke. Give him dumb Luke before he even has a lightsaber, right? Give him Luke or something and then give him Anakin as Hayden Christensen. Right. There's your Darth Vader.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think there's also just certain things you can do with the game, like, maybe I'm naive, but...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Don't have Vader and Luke be block three and four on the HUD. Right at the top. Sure. Like, we've been playing a lot of Super Mario Odyssey, now granted, there's no, like, the game does ask for your time if you're searching for moons and everything like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But every time you get like another 15 moons, it goes, something's unlocked in the store.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it'll be a new suit or a new hat or whatever, right? And you just can, you can gather tons and tons of moons and it's constantly saying new things. It's not saying you are.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, 500 moons away from unlocking Waluigi's costume. And it shows Waluigi blocked out with like a thing. Like it doesn't show you that, it just goes, hey, here's a new thing. It just showed up. Like, why don't you do that? Why don't you just get rid of it from the UI? Oh, it's even worse than you think, James. Okay, I'm sure it is.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well enough in the game you cannot be that character. It's such a stupid idea. Like, my only thing is I feel bad for all the flack that the developers are getting. You know, like a lot of people


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Maybe also- Maybe you don't experiment on the people who are giving you the most money? How does it say, don't experiment on the biggest, most, forefront, like, so here's a good- here's my metaphor, right? Yeah. J.J. Abrams and Disney were like, let's make a new Star Wars movie.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And someone went, a new Star Wars movie, and they went, yeah, yeah, we're gonna make a new Star Wars, a new trilogy, we're gonna start over building on this old franchise, and, and you go, well that's kinda risky, don't you think? They're like, don't worry about it. We're just gonna exactly mimic something that we already know is successful.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hence, Force Awakens, right? Let's just pull that. If we know these beats work in this universe, let's do that. It's so weird that it feels like they're trying new things in something that is the video game equivalent of that movie, right? Literally, it's the intellectual property.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But it just, it blows my mind. Make, like, a time, make a mobile game. Releases Star Wars mobile game. Maybe they, they did. Galaxy of Heroes. Yea, maybe, maybe they have that. I guarantee you it probably has a better unlock system.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'll concede to the people who actually, by the way, have to work on the game, not the people who are trying to figure out how to turn it into a cash register, takes a lot more work to model, rig,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Integrate into the game system a Luke Skywalker character than it does to put key art on a card that has to just spin and then land on your screen with an effect, you know, when you unlock it in a mobile game. But still, like you have to find some sort of compromise for this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I don't know. It's also weird too because there's a game that came out not too long ago that, uh, there's a game that came out not too long ago where the opposite, it was like such an opposite situation where you just like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It just, it just blows my mind how this whole thing came about.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right? Like, you still can, you just may not get the triple platinum, uh, messy card for your online card game FIFA roster or whatever, right? Like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No one wants to be a grunt on the ground. It sucks, it's garbage, you get blown up in two seconds, right? So, you play as a stormtrooper to work for the opportunity to be something else.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When they take away the option for you to be something else that you actually want to be, I don't understand how they expect players to keep coming back unless they really think people are gonna throw, what is it, 4000 hours in? And, I mean, it is the only game in town.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But then the actual characters that people wanted would be behind the paywall.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Only to the extent that it earns you more money though. I guess, I guess my take on all of this is this doesn't seem like the most efficient way. Hmm. But, I mean, maybe it's a new, maybe I'm underestimating, but it just seems- I mean the math. It just seems like- Yeah, Ultimate Team earned what, a billion dollars? Yeah, but this doesn't seem like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That seemed like that was about collection. But what if it was about that? This seems, this seems too reliant on gameplay, and like, and how you play the game, not necessarily how you gather all the, like, there's not enough there for people to be like, I can't, I can't stop playing until I get Luke Skywalker, like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And you just throw it in to a game mode. They got that in Final Fantasy XIV there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm just saying you just like throw in something that's in addition to because that's what they didn't they didn't make it so that we have to unlock things in FIFA to play as your favorite team.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My only concern with that is from what we've heard about how like these things work.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They want to do a Christmas Star Wars event where instead of trying to destroy all the drones on Hoth, you're trying to light a Christmas tree. Now all of a sudden- That sounds wonderful. I know, but now they have to get the Christmas tree approved by Disney because Disney goes, this is not-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, so they have to plan it now to be able to land for Christmas next year. You know, it's, I don't know, it's, I can only assume there's stuff like that. I just think there's maybe easier things to do where you just mimic it. If FIFA makes so much money,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So you have the game, Star Wars, you can play the game, and then throw something else that's right below, it goes, multiplayer, this is the order in which people use things, uh, multiplayer, triple triad Star Wars card game, and then single player, and then you just have that in there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We're pulling for you. We're saving Star Wars.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, I don't know. I mean, again, my conceit is I don't have the solution. I think the saddest part about all this is that if people are really that upset and the game ends up not doing well and then Disney


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, through EA has very strict guidelines for everything. The people that'll lose their jobs are the ones who were genuinely working really hard on trying to make sure that you felt like you were in the Star Wars universe when you were playing the game.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Probably not the handful of executives and financial officers who were sitting in an office dreaming up a scenario where they could spend the least amount on it and then force people to play the most.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This stuff is awesome. Yeah, I don't know what those are. I guess that's lore. I wanted to get to a point where they do like a hero shooter with Star Wars.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So uh, you don't have to worry about playing as droids. You just just, you know, you play as Luke, he's got a certain set of abilities, you play as Darth Vader, and then you, Gargai, it's like, again, like Overwatch, or even maybe like Titanfall. Yeah. You know, where there's, there could be other bots in there and everything, but.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like 90% of the time, you're getting moons that you're not hunting for.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's such a, like, it's a weird thing, and I, I do, there's a point where you can get moons on your map, I almost prefer it not to be. You know, I like, you're gonna run into moons, if you're just exploring the world, you know? Uhm, and that's one of my favorite things about that game, as opposed to, kinda like Lawrence is saying, uhm, the Ubisoft,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Map, map, map, map games, you know, like, I, I started Horizon Zero Dawn, which I know is not a Ubisoft game, and within the first five minutes, it's just like, there's a map, and it's covered in stuff, and I was like, I don't know if I can do this. I don't know what count, I don't know what means anything. It's so many different levels of, of collection.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, if you stand in a doorway, if you're able to reach like the top of the door jam or whatever, and then you stretch out your diaphragm while exhaling, the big thing is that a hiccup is your diaphragm.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Spazzing. Okay. Seizing. Or whatever. So you do that to stretch it and then hopefully you can get it to a point. It doesn't work every time. But that's what seems to work for me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] focusing mentally on the muscle that is causing it to happen.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're underpaid, they're overworked. Yeah, and their career, they're probably really excited about working on a Star Wars game, but then ultimately, and they probably did a really good job on what their thing was, which was the reflection in the helmet of the Stormtroopers, and then they have to deal with the backlash of everyone saying their game is garbage because...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Something is locked out because some financially minded executive said this is how the game should play out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, so for me it's like Star Wars is yes another thing on that list, but at some point I guess hoping long term it'll come back around and then all the Batman games will be


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, Arkham City Impostors with unlocks and then Star Wars will have one really cool single player thing or whatever. I don't know. There's so much stuff, man, and they're making so many cool games that I don't need to sit around and wait for Star Wars one. How about you, Elise?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's just people running around, it's just ants, without the hive mind, just running around doing nonsense, and it seems like you add something like this, and now you're just encouraging more solo play, nonsense, garbage. Like, like, it's just gonna be more and more people hiding to try and get credits because they figured out how to mid max the currency system.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The grenade never comes out where you expect it to come out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He takes away the mystique. He had someone make his meals for 3 months and had a personal training for 3 months and did steroids.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think the actor's going, they're gonna pay me how much? To play who? And I go on steroids? And then you're gonna take a bunch of pictures of me with my shirt off and then put me on the cover of People Magazine?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sorry, yeah. I meant comedy in the classic theater sense. You know, twists and turns. Oh, there we go.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If he knows how to make himself smaller for Vegeta, because Vegeta's smaller.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Why didn't he just use an image of the time chamber? Why'd he draw it himself in MS Paint? Uh, copyright.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm kind of into this. I mean yeah, this is good. I'm just trying to think, are we just judging this one video? That's up to you. I would like to, just for the purposes of-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's a song. So he likes, I appreciate that he likes Dragon Ball, the series Dragon Ball. Yep. Are you sure? Or at least admires it enough to honor it. By the way, any super saiyan with blue hair is kinda boring, right? I figured. It's not really a great transformation. Yeah, come on, we've, we've, come on.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, uhm, I'm also gonna go, uh, MarbleLympics. Wow, okay. It's just a commitment to...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A dream, that, these are the things that I admire in a hard netting, and this guy is like, seems just seems like an internet comedian. He just like does stuff, but his, he doesn't have a clear voice that I can, I can pull from it to say that he's cultivating the best of what the internet has to offer.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're right, billions, billions of us. Here comes the big bang attack.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you want to unlock the, uh, hard net and section of Dude Soup, you have to go listen to every Dude Soup 400 times.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That'll change. Welcome to a totally different ball of dude soup, except it looks nearly identical. Hey, it's 2018 everybody, we did it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We are. Look at that. That'll, uh, that'll make sense eventually. Or won't it? I don't know. Even I haven't seen this one yet. Jesus Christ. Uh, and we'll get, there's a reason for that too. Uh, this podcast is brought to you by Beachbody. Uh, you can get, uh, a week's access to, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well thank god it's, uh, it doesn't live. Uhm, it doesn't say how long. I remember asking and they were like, oh whatever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, this episode is brought to you by Beachbody. You can get free access to Beachbody on demand, which includes all their workout and nutritional plans, all that stuff, by just texting DUDE.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, yeah, they got some new year's resolutions deals going on, so if you're like all those other people in the gym who don't know how to use any of the machines, you should get in on that. But first, uh, in addition to your body changing, we're changing too!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, so, we're entering a new phase of Funhaus, and we wanted to communicate to you guys what that is, what our thinking is, and what that means for you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Our content's gonna change, cause it will change, uh, and pretty much starting right now. It will be different.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We just said, why not Vine Star? Yea, we can be a little serious. You don't have to be serious for fun.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, burnout. Burnout is a thing. Uh, not to say that we're burned out, but certainly our content.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We, we developed a very efficient engine, our turnaround time is very good, and most of that is off the back, uh, there isn't a lot of variance.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, because it, yeaah, it's a vehicle for ad sales, but we never take a break to go back and say, how can we make this better? And once you sort of take the pressure off of your own mind, then good ideas start to come out and then you have to invest more time to develop them. So essentially that's what we're trying to reorganize for ourselves. We're gonna give ourselves time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] To sorta stop grinding out content every day, and, uh, develop some ideas and make them better. Uh, specifically what that means, for you guys, I think the most immediate, uh, consequence is there will be slightly fewer videos.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, sorry to interrupt, but I guess, I guess to get to another very specific thing that you the audience can expect. So, uh, we will have a video uploaded every day. Uhm, most, I think all of our paid content is staying. So Dude Soup is staying, Open House is staying, Film House is staying.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, yeah, and we're dialing up on that, I'll get to that in a minute, but yeah. I mean, the last year has taught, I think, made it, we kind of knew YouTube was volatile. The last year's made it apparent to everyone that YouTube is volatile, so hopefully you guys can understand our reasoning here. Uhm, in that we need to keep content that has direct revenue coming into us and to Roosterteeth.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then apart from that, for the comedy gameplays, I think what you can, what you can look forward to there is more of the kind of larger concept, higher edited.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I think, what I think what we want to do is, uh, when we have an upload every day, we want to make sure that it's kind of like demo disc or like an avatar. It's something that is many steps above.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cracking jokes of video games, which is still going to be an intrinsic part of it, or part of some of the content. But we're going to punch it up with a lot more things to really elevate it. So like Mark Echo. That could have been us just cracking jokes to a Mark Echo game. Uhm, but then we have, you know, like all of Bruce's sweet dance moves and Banksy tearing up the town and some dope raps, so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That stuff takes time, and for us it is purely a function of time in versus product out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, we also plan to hire in 2018, so as much as this move is to free up our time to work on different projects, which we will continue to talk about, and you know the full story there yet, uhm, as we bring on more people, maybe there's bandwidth for those things to come back, and maybe in a different way, maybe in a better way.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So yeaah, nothing's dead forever. Uhm, it's just down to, you know, the amount of hours in the day, and how we can spend those the most wisely.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think another, uh, there's some stuff we can talk about, about what we plan to do that has to be a little vague. I want to keep it to what's going to affect you right away. So at least you get all the information right off the top. Another pretty obvious change early on in 2018 is going to be our recording space is going to change. So you'll see a different background and stuff like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You'll have a different, uh, we'll have a different tech setup. Uhm, I'm not sure exactly what that means as far as the technicals of gameplay, because it's like 60fps with a burning webcam. It's not a whole lot to change there. I think it's more like, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's not that it'll be on a set, but it'll be in a different room, and that may empower us to do more, uh, more exciting things when we record or when we livestream, and we're gonna talk about Funhaus TV in a little bit too.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So yeaah, it's, uh, I don't know if that's something that people notice, obviously. Immediately, if a room changes, it might make our audio better. Certainly we've had issues in the past with live streaming and mixing down multiple audio tracks and stuff like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, uh, yeah. All that stuff. I think one of the other things that changing our setup is, is that we can separate out our recording space and our workspace.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's cool for the sake of culture to be like, oh damn, I have to answer emails right over there after this is done. But, from a logistic standpoint, it kinda sucks, uh, because we can't do multiple things at the same time. Or if we do, it is actually pretty disruptive. For anyone to try to work through a gameplay recording, you have to get pretty good and find some pretty overpowering music to be able to concentrate, especially if you're editing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, at least, I don't want to speak for you, but I certainly had troubles, uh, circa two years ago when I had to buckle down to get edits done, and it's not only that the yelling is distracting, it's that it's also funny. So I would like, I would have to get in a particular, like, razor focus to be able to ignore all of that to be able to, uh, to get my work done.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So yeaah, and that's partially the reason that we, I mean it was space and logistics, but the editors also work in a separate space, and that's partially why. Uhm, but, uh, our, our, we're not, I don't know that we're necessarily gonna do an office tour or anything like that, but the way it will essentially shake out is that our editors will be close to, oh Jesus Christ.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, that got banned. Uh, so yeaah, the editors will be together because having a nice quiet and communal editing space is actually pretty useful.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then we'll be, we'll handle all the dumb, boring, I guess, administrative crap in a room connected with that, and then all the recording spaces will also be close. So at least we'll all be close. That'll help us kind of develop more of a family feeling.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We gotta, we gotta be such jack of all trades, man. Anytime we're in a video we're expected to be good at one thing. They'll like throw us up against somebody who's known for being good at that and we just get blasted. It's just like games for a living.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. Oh, I mean, technically we do too. It's just always the worst thing you can find on Steam.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh yeaah, Tommy Tallarico fucking shredding it out. Uh, so I guess in terms of, there's a lot of soft stuff that's gonna come in 2018 as well that isn't necessarily explicitly our content, so I think there's one more thing maybe to talk about.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Specifically in regards to content that we're going to put out there, or programs we're gonna put out there, and that's FunHouseTV. Uh, Adam, I don't know if you wanna take it away? That's kinda your, your baby for now?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There, there's, there's a lot of potential there of not only to give, uh, our community, and it's, it's, uh, there's a lot of other community initiatives that we're going to be...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I had to say launching sounds so cold, but, you know, more focusing on. Uhm, but yeaah, just to give our, our, our people a place to hang out and sort of talk about stuff. And then also with the spontaneity of like Adam mentioned, just us cutting in with weird shit, you know, if it's, if it's post-drunk gameplay and we got weird ideas, we can put garbage bags on and dance for a little bit. We're a monkey tree entertainment basically.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah, it's the holidays, Jay. Everyone celebrates by killing themselves.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, so yeaah, that's, you look forward to that. Uhm, the, the power hour.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What if I just didn't expense the beer? Doesn't matter, it has to be pitched. Alright, that's fair. Alright, well, uh, we've got a green light process coming up. Um, expose that to public votes or something, I'm sure that'll work out. Absolutely not. So yeah, that's uh, that's uh, one of many, uh, what I would call


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, no, it's a content thing, and also, you know, behind the scenes it is also sort of a thing where we have to sort of make up the money we're gonna lose a bit, because we are dialing back some stuff. Uhm, and then, you know, there's some shortfalls to sort of climb back from a little bit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, but also I think we're going to, uh, focus on community a little more. Uh, the ways that that manifests are a little fuzzy. Like I can't say there will be one post a day, uh, on Roosterteeth.com or something like that, because I think once you start to make community interaction mandatory, it ceases to be...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What it should be, which is genuine and organic, is also a word that people throw around that instantly makes something not organic.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Our internal culture here, and that that is also shared with you guys, uh, in the right ways, uh, you know, there's...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I would uh, the thing that I never want to have to do is like kick an edit- the back of an editor's chair and say hey, we need like a-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We need a flavor piece for the audience today. That's not what it's gonna be. But it's gonna be more like, uhm, if we have something we want to tell you guys, or if we want your feedback about something, we'll make sure that those communication lines are open more often. Which it's hard to do when you're writing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, social copy for an ad campaign and there's three more emails and somebody stole your damn lights and...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it gets complicated. Lawrence is describing his day today. Yeah, my literal day today.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, so, there is that. Uh huh. But hope, and again, this is the, this all derives from us consciously creating empty space in our production calendars, which up until now we have voluntarily filled at or over capacity just to make this whole outlet run properly.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But now I feel like we're established enough that we can, at least for ourselves, dial back a little bit. Uhm, and that will, as far as I hope, only result in good things for you guys. Cool ideas.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it won't be like that. To the degree that Rooster Teeth still has all the people that you enjoy in content and the places where it makes sense for them to be in.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, and the things that work stay and the things that don't work either get retooled or they disappear for a while.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, so there is a big thing that we've been alluding to.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I'll get to that right after we hear from Beachbody. Yeah, so it's 2018. I don't know how ripped you were in 2017, but you can always get more ripped. And Beachbody's here to help you do that. So Beachbody has basically all the tools you need to achieve your fitness goals, whether you want to lose weight or gain weight.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, the great thing is they hit both sides of it, so it's not just the workouts, it's also the nutrition, which, if you're looking to get a better shape, do not neglect nutrition.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, and if it's something you're unfamiliar with, it's always good to have a guide or a diet plan. Just something to follow so you don't have to make, you know, if you're in, I'm speaking from personal experience here, if you're kind of in the habit of routinely making bad decisions with what you put into your body.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's good to have someone else make those decisions for you to kind of give your decision power over to a guide or to an expert who's walked down that road already. Uhm, and I, yes, I do reference myself in that too.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, so yeaah, you can, uh, and the other cool thing about it is if you have, uh, any degree of, like, gym apprehension, and, uh, you know, there's a lot of jokes swirling about the state of gyms around the new year, a lot of new people in there who may not


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] May not know how to use all the equipment, uhm, if you, if you feel any hesitation there and you may, you don't have a friend or a trainer to walk you through how to do all this stuff, I think Beachbody's a perfect place to start, because not only can you do it in the privacy of your own home, but they make all these videos for beginners as well.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So you'll get, you'll get an instruction from an expert knowing that they're making this video for people who may be newer to the fitness world.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So it's a, it's a great place to get started in your path for fitness or to escalate it. You know, they've got, they've got higher level workouts too, P90X, uh, Insanity. These are all things that could challenge even the most fit, I mean, Bruce, you did Insanity, which is ridiculous.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've done workouts, but I've never done the full routine and I don't know that I can.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't, well, right now I'm trying to cut calories as hard as I can. I just want to get rid of this, there's like a calcified layer, it's like, it's like oil stuck to my body. It's the hardest part? Yeah, I dug out all the soil that was easy, and the clay that was harder, and now I'm just doing all these old dead dinosaurs now. These are like cheeseburgers I ate 20 years ago. I gotta scrape those off.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That would be good for someone. Anyway, uh, you can get full access to Beachbody on demand.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] By texting DUDE to 30 30 30. That's D-U-D-E to 30 30 30. That's all the workout videos, nutritional guides, everything. So, one more time, that's DUDE to 30 30 30. Thank you Beachbody for your sponsorship and...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hopefully this is the start of a path to a better 2018 for everybody. Yeah man, that's uh, we talked about it before, but I do feel bad how nerd culture can deify sloth and uh, celebrate bad lifestyles where some of us are getting up there and it would be a shame to see.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, uh, on to the, on to the tantalizing part of the discussion and also the one we can't really talk much about, but these, these big ideas. So, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Where it's just, okay, here's a multicam of us playing a game and let's just chop out all the dead air and flip it. That doesn't take much. And I think the audience investment kind of responds to that. Some people really enjoy it, or at least it's background noise. So, kind of getting rid of that in favor of what I would call the sort of prestige game plays or avatars or surfers be skaters.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then there's stuff like eleven little roosters or a million dollars butt.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I can already sort of feel if you're hearing that and you're not liking it. It's like, oh, the co- the like the, the feeling's going away. It's very lo-fi. It used to have charm and character.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And certain, like, we're always gonna make content with that eye, even if it's not exactly the same. So it's not us in a basement, you know, using a soup can as a microphone. We might get better equipment.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But we'll always make something that's approachable and charismatic. I don't think it's anyone's goal to become, like, a vine star. Right. Or, uh-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's a, whenever, it's, it's a bummer and it's somewhat tragic the number of times that we have spitballed ideas or even in my own head I'll


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When I'm trying to come up with cool ideas for something, I basically imagine this roulette and there's like two rollers. One's an idea and the other one is time. And hopefully they hit at the, at... There's a time and an idea thing that sync up and fits what I need to do. But it's, for us, for years, it's just been a series of...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Here we have to go down the list of good ideas until we find the one that we can actually execute on given our resources and our time. And that'll always be the case, but this is going to open up a new tier of stuff that we can actually do and execute on.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, uh, let's see here. We got about 15 minutes left. Uh, we have an announcement. I guess this is the first of many cool things to come in 2018. We've heard a lot of people ask if DudeSoup Live's ever coming back.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know about that, but we got a different thing for ya. Uh, we're doing a live show, Fun House Live, I guess is what it's called. Uh, there it is, bang. Uh, it's gonna be January 18th, 2018, doors at 7, show at 8.30, or doors 7.30, sorry, show at 8.30. Uh, we got VIP tickets, you guys get in early, you get a like a little closed in Q&A session with us.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, but yeaah, it's gonna be, if you've ever been to any of our panels at like PAX or RTX.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We t- I mean those kinda become basically stage shows because...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's the sort of thing where we will throw out a bunch of ideas and we'll sort of suss out the ones that we can turn around with a minimum of props or something like that or audience interaction. And after a while we sort of figured out, well, we're actually kind of putting on a stage show here, like a bit based stage show. So we were like, well, we could kind of like everything else, we could punch it up a little bit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Put a theme around it all and just have a series of sketches that sort of fit a theme and tell a story.


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[Assistant] And we got ourselves a show! So, uh, we're gonna try it. We got ourselves a show!


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[Assistant] Yeaah, stayin', stayin' deep. So yeaah, 30 bucks for general admission, uh, VIP is 100.


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[Assistant] Uhm, prices not necessarily set by us, uh, but I think given what we have in store, and especially if you've made it this far into the podcast, clearly you care about us or what we make, I think that's pretty good, pretty good for it. We're gonna, it's like, like Elise said, it's gonna be, it's gonna be interesting. It's gonna be experimental.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, yeah, Regent Theater, Downtown LA, uh, may have, may have said time, hold on a minute.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, January 18th, Thursday, January 18th. Doors 730, show at 830. But VIP has, uh, early, early admission. You can, uh, filter in, get your poppy corns, get your soda drinks, and then, uh,


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[Assistant] The plan is we'll do kind of a more intimate Q&A with whoever's VIP before the show. So we'll come out and rap with you guys for a little bit. Hats firmly backwards, chairs firmly turned around. Uh, lights are low. Intimate. Uh, and yeah, so we'll have a little talk. Maybe we'll drop some, some uh, exclusive knowledge there. I don't know what it would be, but I can, I'll, I'll develop a new growth every time.


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[Assistant] Yeah. So yeah, we, uh, we've been plugging through our, or rather, I've been plugging through our videography.


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[Assistant] And, uh, we've just about, just about arrived at our final, uh, our final work configuration. That was pretty soundproofed, everything, huh? Yep. So yeah, we, this, I guess this upcoming change will be our fourth work location. Even though it's in the same building. Uh, in, in three years or so. Or, yeah, about three years, so.


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[Assistant] So yeaah, it's, uh, it's exciting stuff. So if you're interested in buying tickets, uh, I got a bit.ly for you if you're listening to the audio version of this, cause, uh, hitting links, uh, from an audio podcast is a little tough. Uh, bit.ly slash funhouselive. Just spell it all out. That's H-A-U-S.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So yea, yea, that should go right to the show page and you can buy, you can buy, uh, you can buy tickets


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[Assistant] There's no new cities to go to. Well, you hit them all! We did start recycling all the cities. Oh, the gumball. Wait, didn't they clean that off? I thought they scraped off all the gumball.


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[Assistant] It should be good once you hit your deductible. Once you get blood dry enough, then they start to kick it in. Nice. I guess you haven't hit that yet. Also, it's the end of the year, man. That's the worst time to get sick.


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[Assistant] For, for all of you fresh faced young, youngsters who maybe have a job and are starting to deal with insurance, there's this lovely thing called a deductible, which makes, makes insurance companies absolutely certain that they will always get the money they need. Uhm, and it's like co-insurance up to, so, your deductible may be like 10 grand, uh, which means you have to pay out of pocket up to 10 grand.


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[Assistant] And then the insurance company will kick in and start doing stuff. We have good health insurance, by the way. Which is scary.


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[Assistant] Uh, so when I had my shit, uh, basically, and the deductible resets every year. So if somebody has a lot of medical problems, they'll pay for it, like in the early to mid part of the year, they'll hit their deductible, and then once they do that, the rest of the medical stuff they get for the rest of the year is free, or at least much cheaper.


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[Assistant] Yeah, yeah. You, you, you might have to pay like 10% or 20%. But you hit your deductible, so you might as well cram it all in before the new year wraps around and your deductible resets. So that means November and December.


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[Assistant] Awww, age gated, I can't understand why I did that.


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[Assistant] Don't understand why, oh. All the ovipositors, yea I remember that now. Yea, all the eggs. That was a weird one. She got cramped full of eggs. Then somebody like- Yea, I cut this one. I'm sorry Elise. There's a lot of blurring to do.


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[Assistant] I was going through some of the classics, the dude soup classics and I remember editing that. I had to, I had to pause it to see a stupid message I left for myself some two years on.


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[Assistant] Well, thanks for watching everybody. Hopefully, hopefully this answered, well, you don't have any questions yet because we just told you what's up.


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[Assistant] Everyone? I'm putting together a stage show to explain via song and dance. Uh, so yea, that's bit.ly or bit.ly.


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[Assistant] Funhouse Live, we will, we won't lie to you. Uhm, at least I won't. And I'll tell you this. So we have, we have one big idea that's already-


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[Assistant] I wouldn't say Greenland just yet, but there's a lot of enthusiasm for it. And I...


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[Assistant] Ah, how did she know? I guess that's a pretty easy guess. But, thanks everybody! Uh, 2018's gonna be a good one, I hope. At least for us, I hope.


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[Assistant] We know how this works. Eat, pray, love. Gotta do it. We're gonna eat, pray, and love all year. And we invite you to be part of that with us, cause, aforementioned, uh, hopefully we'll be more interactive and more engaged with you guys, so.


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[Assistant] Alright, thanks everybody, and we'll see you in weeks to come. Bye. Bye guys. Goodbye. Date with a toilet.


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[Assistant] I know it does, it's all really bright green. White, texas, lime green. I sang it last time. Let me get my spectacles. The whole thing? I mean, parts of it. Cute picture. Aww, look at them all.


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[Assistant] I wish I'd been the woman that you lost your virginity to. Because then I would get to find out what it was like for you to use those muscle groups for the first time.


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[Assistant] No, I, we don't, I don't, it wasn't that at all. I don't think that you didn't try it. I actually think anybody tried is Lawrence. Like he was, he was really, you know, busting his ass down there. Angry, screaming. That's the problem, he wasn't.


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[Assistant] Probably. That's exactly right. Alright, that's what your doctor said. Success of two fold. He would have made a woman orgasm.


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[Assistant] I think, I believe my first orgasm was in third grade. Ooh. Uhm, because I remember my shorts rubbing against myself and going, wait, how old would you have been? How old is third grade? I had puberty very, very early. And, that might be late though. No, but third grade is not early. Third grade is...


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[Assistant] Well there's always like extra hardware and extra software that you have to go around to make those things work. Sure. And this is just, I would assume, streamlined by Nintendo. Yeah. So it's just- You want that one to one?


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[Assistant] James, I've got a deal for you. How about you pay $80 and you get all those games on Switch. Oh, that I do. I was going to say, I would assume you pay the same amount.


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[Assistant] No. I really want to. Only Josh and I were the only ones that saw it. When do you want to go see it, Lawrence? This week? You got time? Wednesday maybe. I don't think it's as much of a slog, well I don't want to change the subject, nevermind.


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[Assistant] Well, I was actually going to ask, I had a question about the Super Nintendo classic too. Uh oh. But then Transformers happened. Oh, have they done a teardown of the Eniants classic? I think so, but it's- Because I want to know how much it cost to make. Oh, it can't be anything.


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[Assistant] I really do, and the only reason is because this is the kind of stuff that I would do as a consumer, which I know most people don't do. But it's to try to inform myself before buying something like this, because it's like, it costs $3 to make, and I'd be like, fuck you, I'm not...


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[Assistant] This doesn't make any sense now that I think about it. Because the Switch is going to blow out the entire year, right? So that'll be fine. They'll sell a ton of them throughout the entire year.


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[Assistant] I were Nintendo, and I'm not, but if I were Nintendo, I would wait.


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[Assistant] I'd be like, okay, well I know the SNES Classic, since the SNES Classic did well, I have a pretty good idea what the SNES Classic is going to do, so I'll wait until Switch sales go down, and then be like, okay yeaah, let's sell the SNES Classic now, and sort of, and even then it's like you're building hype for


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[Assistant] That's huge. I mean like, just massive. And that's what kind of blows my mind. I think we were just talking about this, was it yesterday? Where they like, they're blowing their load. Right now. And they're just like, baaah, here's it all, here's it all. And they know it's all going to sell well.


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[Assistant] Yeah, and they're milking you personally, Adam, for all your worth. That's what they're doing.


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[Assistant] They're milking you, that's what they're doing. Like, they know that you loved it when you were 10, and now that you're 35 and you still love Nintendo because they made great games, so they're gonna milk that. I mean, that's just, that's part of a business.


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[Assistant] No, are you kidding? Matt Peek is constantly in that thing. Always, he's always in the kitchen. He loves that kitchen. His bed's in there. My kitchen's pretty small too, so I feel bad for him, but he knocks it out of the park every time, man. He knocks it out of the park every time. I walk home and I just get hit with some odor of, typically he makes this garlic chicken that's


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It smells unbelievable, I haven't had it yet. It smells unbelievable and I've been meaning to eat it because it smells ridiculously good.


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[Assistant] I don't know. Hopefully like, they, I don't, it's really interesting. Hong Kong's, I think it's Hong Kong's one of the, either the largest city in the world or one of the largest cities in the world is very close. And that's generally a capitalist city, from what I've heard. I haven't been there.


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[Assistant] Uhm, and so it's very interesting to have this bastion of capitalism in the middle of this communist country, which, you know, I've heard it's sort of a loose communism. It's because, it's because it was British. It's a mixed market economy. Right. It was British owned until, whatever, 99? And, uh, a lot of people say that that's kind of one of the reasons why


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] China hasn't fully collapsed, and this isn't to say, you know, whatever. Capitalism is better, whatever.


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[Assistant] I was going to say a lot of people say that's bad because they're entry level jobs. Typically, that's how you gain experience in the workforce. And if we take those away, how are people going to get that experience? Which is a valid question. I don't know. They'll have to be other entry level jobs.


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[Assistant] That, uh, that we know of, but I mean like right now fast food is one of them that's like a, kind of a, you know, the world round, everybody knows it, that's, that is a sort of like, one of your first jobs that you do, type of thing.


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[Assistant] That's because people trusted him. Much like YouTube influencers. Where before, hashtag ab.


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[Assistant] I mean, fuck man, it's pretty cool that YouTube even allows that stuff. Like, to be on their platform. Uh, considering that it's a...


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[Assistant] And I appreciate, cause I'm, I'm expecting some sort of controversy coming out where like, it's gonna be some alt-right video.


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[Assistant] Lawrence, you think, uh, maybe help me up with the movement contact there, maybe get some of those shades over there?


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[Assistant] Oh my gosh, Selena Gomez and Damien Lovato? Wow.


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[Assistant] I like it. I uh, I immediately side with this guy. This is very hard netting. I've never seen this before. Ever.


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[Assistant] Well, they're, they're under, they're hypnotized. They can only say a few things.


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[Assistant] That was a fun day on set. I liked he's writing it like it's in the past. Like I did all this earlier.


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[Assistant] Welp, well then. There's the purity. Purity of- Wait, wait, wait, wait. I wanna read the- I'm going on break for at least a full month. I think I've earned it with this wave of mannips? Mannips. Mannips? Manipulation. I'll request an RP is on hold until I have returned. Everyone please take one.


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[Assistant] I tried the whole like retro pie thing for a while for like hooking that up to a TV and it doesn't work as well as these things work because it's like, like wired hardware and stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right. Okay. There's gotta be like a digital shelf somewhere where you can go and just look at it, right? Yeah, it's right on my app.


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[Assistant] Again, yeaah, I'm gonna try. Like the last one, the only reason I have the regular one or the Ness is some fan of Easy Allies had extras and he sent them to them and I was able to buy one.


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[Assistant] I'm arting! Okay guys, words, the words clear. What'd you say? The words clear.


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[Assistant] Have you ever had a lover that you had a quarrel with? Yea. And you wished you could just stab him with pins and needles and then he would feel it. What are you talking about? Voodoos!


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[Assistant] Okay, so the last time we did the Storming of Normandy that I can at least remember was Medal of Honor Allied Assault Circle what?


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[Assistant] Maybe. I mean, I feel like, I feel like I can get your fix from so many other places. So, Battlefield did World War 1 pretty well. Yeah. I thought that was pretty good. At least from a single player perspective, it was short, and it was like, really to the point. Like, here's your tank, here's your plane, here's your ground, go play multiplayer. It's really fun. Yeah. Okay.


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[Assistant] And then a, uhm, and then a, from the single player perspective, for World War II, at least Wolfenstein New Order was like,


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[Assistant] Really, where the party's at. Like, I mean, that was alternate, you know, post-World War II. I don't know, but that game still holds up, I'm sure.


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[Assistant] It feels, it feels like, this isn't really a dig at any of the developers or anything like that, but it feels like Call of Duty is trying to justify its own existence. Cause they're out of made up wars. And now they need to go back to legit wars.


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[Assistant] You just, you sit around for about eight hours and then a mortar goes off and it kills your best friend and then you go, you go back home and work for an ad agency.


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[Assistant] You can't do Revolutionary War as a fun game if the main weapon is going to be a gun. You could make it like melee based.


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[Assistant] I always thought that was Assassin's Creed's job, was, okay, uh, what time period is interesting for an assassin, like anything.


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[Assistant] I mean, they did Revolutionary War with Assassin's Creed 3 and it worked. Could you make a first person shooter of that and call it a day?


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[Assistant] No, maybe you could probably do like a Dishonored type game where it's like more stealthy. Uhm, and yeah, you have a musket and it fires once and then you just, that's how they did it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Assassin's Creed was, they had a gun, you could fire it once and then you're done.


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[Assistant] I think it's, you just look at whatever movie is popular in the last ten years. So, Inglorious Basterds and- Ultraviolet.


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[Assistant] Yeah. And Equilibrium was like up there with Boondock Saints, where your friend gave you a DVD. Kind of an accidental success. Kind of. I mean like it has some cool moments, Gunkada is a dumb name, but a dumb concept.


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[Assistant] Yeah, it had shades of the Matrix in there, so like, everyone's like, guys like Lawrence were just looking for the next hit.


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[Assistant] There were, no, there were, so there's two moments in Ultraviolet I remember specifically. One is, she's transporting a kid, I think in a backpack.


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[Assistant] I don't know, it's sort of like a, uh, like a Harry Potter tent. Or it's like it's much bigger inside the backpack.


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[Assistant] I forget, I think he is like, he's the, he's the key. Sure. But the funny thing is, I'm almost positive it's the same kid from X-Men 3. Oh. Who's also the key. Oh, the bald kid? Yeah, it's the same kid. Really? I think they cast the same kid. And he does the same thing. Whereas I have to be protected. I was like, do you think they just...


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[Assistant] I don't think anyone would be able to tell the difference. Yeah, maybe not. There's a specific scene in Ultraviolet, I remember where it's supposed to be a cool moment. It's not. But, me as your fish host, I'm gonna go kill them all. And it's like this intense shot, and then immediately cuts to her on a carousel with a kid going,


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[Assistant] So it got annualized, uh, after 2005. So it went 2003, 2005, so they took a year off.


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[Assistant] That was when they, that was their big push though, when they're like, we have circle dogs and fishes. Look at this fish, they move.


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[Assistant] It was a, well this is what happened. We got through this, uh,


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[Assistant] We got out of the world of cute. We were, we were fed up with bubsby and uh, Spyro. Spyros and your trash. Jasses and bigsters. And uh, we were like, no, enough! We need something gritty, something based around, ah, I don't know, World War II, that's it! But not too gritty. I'm uh,


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[Assistant] Can you refer to them as they like to be called? Watchers. Twitchners. Oh.


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[Assistant] Well the, the side, similar to like iPhones, you know how like,


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[Assistant] It was something where like iPhone accessory makers is like, I remember.


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[Assistant] I think 10 years ago it was in the billions of dollars. How there was like a subsection of money being made on a thing. Twitch is interesting with things like Streamlabs. And now Emote Makers. It's like, uh, yeaah. It's crazy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But you paid a monthly subscription and they just put out episodes when they felt like it. That's kinda more like what Twitch is. Yea.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're not really paying, like, the user will typically say, hey I'm on a schedule, or like, this is my full time job, or like, you know, other people will go, I do it when I can.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because I have a job or whatever and like, I don't know if I get enough subscribers and this can be my full time thing or whatever, but I think most people know that they're not like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What do you twitch lords like yourself refer to those people? Are they like, the unwashed or?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's a, there's a streamer I follow, uh, Kafri, he's like a really good sniper on Overwatch, and his title was like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like nude stream, and I was like, oh, and I clicked it, and he like had his shirt off, and I was like, woah, but it was just a flesh-colored shirt.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was just, I think people were making jokes about like, hey, you look shirtless, and he was like, fine. And I made a joke, and he was like, ah, that's the extent of humor on Twitch, everybody.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, typically those services, so Google Play, music, or whatever, Spotify, HBO, those are all passive experiences. Twitch, now imagine if you're watching Game of Thrones, and every time you threw a dollar at Jon Snow, he'd go, Hey, thanks, Bruce. Wait, hold on.


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[Assistant] Typically, it is a, so, we now live in this world of reoccurring transactions monthly, but now, people, you know, with, uh, mobile games and now mobile viewing, or I guess, what do you call it, GC, GSV? GVC. GVC. Home Shopping Network. Yeah. Uhm, now it's reoccurring daily.


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[Assistant] That's like subscriptions or something like that where you're like, hey, I already subscribed to this thing, but I'm gonna give an extra dollar. Like that's, you've now added microtransactions to video.


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[Assistant] Michael Transactions is my best friend. He told me that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Definitely seen Twitch as like a clubhouse, whereas YouTube is a giant sea of everything.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm pretty sure. So it's not a Vocaloid then? Vocaloid is 100% vocal. That is a robot.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, yeah, it's not special though. It's a unique take on something that can be done with anything.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Our anime girl's here, finally. I'm typing in, Intel, RealSense. Kizunaai.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, Adam? How you feeling buddy? Well, I feel like I could just jingle some keys in front of your faces and you'd be impressed, cause that's about the level that this is.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I feel like you are, you have all been duped. Okay. And I will be...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Two times since that article came out. I can't get enough of this avocado toast.


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[Assistant] Keenan. Keenan will not leave ever. 13 seasons. It was stupid. But my question for all of you, who actually watches SNL besides James? Elise does.


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[Assistant] I think, so where I disagree with all of you is I feel like there's a couple funny people there surrounded by mounds of unfunny shit.


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[Assistant] I remember when it was bad, but I mean, I can't have anyone seriously tell me that any cast member right now is funnier than Phil Hartman.


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[Assistant] They did a bit a long time ago, I remember, the anal retentive chef. It was like one of the funniest bits. It just, it's the most simple thing in the world. Whereas the one Jess and I watched a while ago where they're like, we're going to do a game show where they get hit with pies and it's overly complicated and it's really dumb and it requires way too much production value as opposed to one guy just doing one absurdist bit. And I was like, it's too complicated.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] On the flip side, they had a bit where Chris Farley accidentally ends up on a game show, a Japanese game show, and doesn't speak a word of Japanese. And it's a good fucking skit. And he accidentally gets answers right.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know, I feel like if you're a funny, talented person, you don't go to SNL anymore. You do like a Key and Peele show or you do like a show, you do your own thing now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I like, I get it, there's the prestige of like, oh my god, I get the right for this, but I think that time is...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's the thing, why would I take an offer for someone to go like, you can move into New York, which is already cramped and you have to work these late nights and write these skits that will most likely be changed above you, whereas like, here we have more


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well here's the thing, I got some avocado toast over this weekend, and it had truffle oil on it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, to be fair, this is Elise's hat. Uhm, this, this happens now every Monday because James goes, do you want to go to the gym on Monday? And I should say no. First of all, let's clarify. I said no.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Dark Universe, Cinematic Universe. I just want to say, believe me, I weighed the options, I'm like, I'm gonna go on the podcast wearing a hat, never wear a hat, and I'm gonna sit next to Bernie, Bernie's wearing a hat. Oh, you knew. Fuck it. Who cares? Take your shoes off.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So the way it worked was, Jess had a room that was adjacent, a couple, and so they shared a bathroom with a shower. And then there was like a master bedroom that was owned by a meth head.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Quick question for you, Lawrence. What headline or title were you thinking about going with for this podcast?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, they do say this, uh, we're sorry for the disappointment of the delay causes, but we are firm believers in the delivery game. Only when it's ready, we are really excited to bring you some more details about the game this summer. Which is after E3. So that could be a Scorpio exclusive or whatever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well you see a game like Overwatch which is multiplayer only and it's doing so well. Uhm, I keep buying loot boxes every time. I think it's kind of a cool way of supporting the game.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, well they're putting out like three new maps, and the maps are always really good. The character videos they do are always really good, and it's like, I'd rather, I hated- You got a house now, Adam. You gotta fix your head. Bruce, I need to expense some things.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I wonder if it will be the infinite well that we've been pulling from GTA because like, you know, two videos a week for five years? Yes, I think so. I bet Rockstar wants it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The types of, uh, companies that exist now, you have to, kinda have to be transparent, cause it almost is, or people think they have a level of transparency, so, we could always say, you know, we're doing the best ever, and people go on social media and go, no you're not. And you go, shit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You can't, you can't just tell everyone how great business is and they're like, no, no, no, no.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It behooves you to be open with your audience, I have found. And I guess hold some things back, right? Like we can't, we can't say everything we're doing, because something might not work. Like Steven Subtick.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I wish he would stop. Valuable member of the Funhaus team. You see what I did right there? I said the opposite of what I mean and now people are going to fight for him.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's also nice when, uh, you lose your instructions and then your friends do it too. So I can text James and go,


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[Assistant] Robots are the worst. Anyway, I gotta go to some robot congress thing. Yeaah. You're part of the robot crew now.


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[Assistant] Let's call Reese. But the other guy. I know the dude. So that's one of the dumbest things in the world. At least playing dumb with the boyfriend. Here's the thing. Here's the thing about Terminator.


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[Assistant] He's trying to go back to kill himself. The whole issue with Terminator is it's partly James Cameron's fault, but it's also because people can't see past what made Terminator successful. Everyone looks at the bare bones, they go, oh you just add more robots, and then you do a twist on it.


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[Assistant] Well, so that's what I mean is, they said, oh that's all he did, he just added a liquid one. What else can we do? Magnets! Alright! And then they just kept going, and I was like,


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[Assistant] No, he kind of more or less just remade to.


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[Assistant] Except this one makes me a little bit more sad because it's Ridley Scott who made Alien and now he's making Alien Covenant so you have no one else to blame.


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[Assistant] I keep telling you, there's gonna be a whole industry where we hire out our cars to be Ubers.


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[Assistant] Well, no, I mean, it's starting to happen now, but you're going to be able to outsource your car.


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[Assistant] This is a great thumbnail by the way. Uh, it's the YouTube logo versus WSJ. And I almost clicked it, I want to say a hundred times over the weekend because I kept seeing it.


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[Assistant] You know that everybody knows you play Minecraft, right? Regardless of whether or not you delete it.


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[Assistant] Are you gonna kiss her once you're dead? Sorry, sorry, sorry, go ahead. Go ahead.


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[Assistant] Yeah. Well, we're, we typically try, we try and be nice. Yeah, I know. Just kind of like let people make their best of. If they're monetizing and it gets a little more worrisome.


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[Assistant] Which they may. They may. That's a thing that we can't confirm or deny, you know, like we have no idea.


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[Assistant] So I, I tend to, I tend to not disagree with H3H3 when it comes to that they may have an agenda. They may be trying to...


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[Assistant] I guess, not stifle creativity or do any of that stuff like Wall Street, I think Wall Street Journal is trying to call attention to the more incendiary content on YouTube and that it's a little more ubiquitous than people think.


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[Assistant] To the detriment of the platform though too. I mean like, and that's the thing is that like regardless of what you think of H383 or Wall Street Journal or PewDiePie or whatever, I mean they are directly affecting


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[Assistant] That is, that is happening currently. And, uh, it's, it's one of those things where like, it probably should have happened a while back and maybe not to such fanfare in the media.


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[Assistant] Uhm, because obviously ads running in front of terrorist videos is not the right way to go. So I'm totally fine with, you know, YouTube fixing that whole process.


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[Assistant] And, uh, that's what's happening right now. Uhm, and, you know, again, uh, it is hurting him and it's hurting us and it's hurting other creators.


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[Assistant] So, I don't know what's gonna happen. I don't know. YouTube already tried to, they were, we talked about it last week. They're trying to fix it. They're trying to fix the system. Uh, which is great. That's, that's, you know, I'm always glad to hear that kind of stuff, so. They will, and they will. I'm confident they will.


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[Assistant] It was 750 million. Okay, wow. Yeah, and it was, uh, so it was just shy of a billion. Uhm, over the next, I think it's, I think it's a year.


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[Assistant] Well, CPMs have dropped. I mean, it's just already happened.


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[Assistant] Uhm, and I don't think it's happened to everybody. Uh, but I mean like, so for example, your Minecraft video should be fine.


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[Assistant] But I think with, with H3H3, PewDiePie, et cetera, like stuff that we make, uhm, which is, can be controversial in a... Oh no, you guys are screwed. Yeah, we're, we're totally screwed.


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[Assistant] And also we try to evolve and change our style here and there. I mean like, you know, but regardless, I don't think that this is like the end of YouTube. I think that they just got some things to work out and they will. That's what I think. Just a little recession.


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[Assistant] It could be, I mean like, isn't that libel or? Like, I'm pretty sure it's something I'm not sure what Wall Street Journal stands to do.


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[Assistant] Oh, yeah, yeah. And yeah, I did the nine week thing twice. Oh boy. They are great. Like, I say to anybody that wants to, sorry Lawrence, just to interject this really quick, to anybody that wants to lose weight.


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[Assistant] Uhm, and not really change their diet too much. Insanity is the right way to do it, except that you gotta be careful when you do it, because you don't want to hurt yourself. Well, it's any exercise. So what if you're afraid? Overexert yourself. If you're afraid, then you probably shouldn't do it. Then I won't. Okay. All right. But either way, it's awesome. Are you insane enough? Insane enough. You gotta be, you have to be literally insane. It's, it's very, very tough.


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[Assistant] Oh there it is, a beach body. Damn. Oh no, this is much better.


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[Assistant] They did. Thank God. But they were asking whether or not you were fucking Joel and Joel was fucking you. Yeaah.


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[Assistant] He's too old. Am I too old? You're way past your prime, bud.


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[Assistant] It's like a big purple welt. Yeah, Lawrence, you didn't get as bruised. It didn't look like.


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[Assistant] We can't talk about the wrestling match that we all went to except Steven on Saturday.


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[Assistant] I feel like 85 years old. Anyways, Saturday was awesome. It was really, really fun. Number one, just to watch a professional wrestling match.