[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We are trying to listen to you, but at the same time we're trying to run a business and trying to run a channel creatively the way we want. So they're, of course yes, we can all see each other's perspective, but at some point we have to say, well, this is the way they're going to make the show.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Today we will. We will find the answer to that. Finally. There are a number of other hot topics on hand.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just to prove that this is not the first mashup of seemingly dissimilar marketing, I found a bunch of old and cringy YouTube videos, so that's gonna be fun.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They listened to us! We said that, we said that they should do that and they did it!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, we can, and we will. This podcast is sponsored by three sponsors, Sherry's Berries, Beachbody, and Casper. You can get freshly dipped strawberries starting at $19.99 plus shipping and handling at berries.com using our code DUDESOUP. Some other days coming up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, you can get a free trial membership to Beachbody on demand when you text DUDE to 30 30 30. And you can get $50 towards like mattresses by visiting Casper.com slash DUDESOUP and using promo code DUDESOUP at checkout.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Now to get to the bottom of this thorny issue, this very thick issue, involving a CG comic book character in a game, a video game the world's playing, I had to ask some of my Fortnite scholars on to help me talk through the issue.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, first up is Bruce Green, probably, I think probably out of all of us, maybe the one who's played the most Fortnite? Maybe I have the most hours.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The world's most popular game. What would you say your Fortnite relationship is?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, we're combining worlds, do it. They have a falcon looking glider now in Fortnite. Sure, I know what they do. Yeah, it's like red and white and it looks like bird wings.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Actually yea, I'm gonna guess the guy who's waiting for pro wrestlers to appear in Fortnite, James Willems.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, soon you'll be able to play as all of them in Fortnite for some reason. I hope so. So this was part of the 4.1 patch that hit this morning, as of Tuesday. There's a new Infinity Gauntlet mode in Fortnite. When you play as that, it's solo only.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, shortly after, I think like there's some minor tweaks, there's a lot more loot, like resource gathering is double, it's kind of like a hyper mode. Uh, but shortly after the match starts, a meteor crashes into the planet, and uh, an Infinity Gauntlet pops out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you pick it up, you get to become Thanos. Himself, you got a few abilities, you can do like a hyper jump, you know, ground pound, you have lasers that you can shoot.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, you also get, like it started, it started with, uh, 300 shields, 800 health. They've already, at the time of this podcast, knocked it down to 200 shields, 700 health.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And when you die, the infinity gauntlet pops out and somebody else gets to be Thanos.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It kind of feels like, uh, Battlefront, in that like, not everybody gets to meet Luke Skywalker.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Looks like your mic might be turned upside down there. It's always like this. Cause he has the long mic. That's fine.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, uh, now the question at hand is, since the battle for pop culture wages eternal,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And uh, there's people in the trenches right now, those brave warriors fighting.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That is in the vein of something we'll be discussing soon, which is the legacy of brand mashups in American marketing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it's interesting you guys talking about the waves of sort of


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I feel like it's a different group of people that has this collective realization that they lived in self-imposed seclusion.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Mostly I'm gonna guess through personality type, I did that stuff. I was into like Star Wars growing up and the narrative you tell yourself is, well I like Star Wars, I must be a nerd, like I'm one of the, I'm one of the like forgotten people, I'm one of the shadow people. Uhm.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it was mostly by myself because I wasn't a social person. So I think, I think not being a social person and then liking worldly popular things combined to make you think that those things are yours and yours alone because you're just a naturally selected or so secluded person


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Reminds me of being at like, gaming conven- or like, early paxes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] High on the euphoria that tens of thousands of people into gaming and nerd culture all got in one building. And even within that...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They would throw out Cake is a Lie references and just be delighted that someone else knew what they were talking about. Sure.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I always thought, I thought that was odd, especially when people started singing the fucking song in a hallway, like all off key. Don't, well whatever, hey man, they were living their best lives.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Man, it's so cool. Pretty awesome. There's actually one fundamental difference though, I think, with Fortnite.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Aside from any other thing, because there is this progression of, I was talking about, pre-internet, pre-cell phone, of you experience your interactions with a popular brand or a popular property by yourself, or maybe with a close friend, but it still has this sort of caged in, closed in, cave-like feeling about it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is on phones, and it's being played across schools. I wonder what it's like from a social comment that, or from a social environment of like, how can you walk around school all day and see everyone playing Fortnite on their iPhone?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then still get excited when Drake plays it, considering you know that everyone's playing it. Well, I don't know that they did. I'm not sure that like- Maybe it's not the same people.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We were, we were fortunate enough that Bernie swing through and he brought up a really interesting point.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Which is that, it's so, admitting first of all, it's not fair to treat.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Everyone on Reddit as though they were one person. But for the sake of argument, I'm about to. Uhm, the co- It seemed like the internet collectively decided that Ready Player One was lame as shit. Because all it was was just a jumble of well-loved brands smashed together with, like, the most cookie cutter plot.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, uh, I thought that was kind of interesting because I don't think the movie asked or even


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And people seem to uniformly celebrate every little


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He spun his cap around. I want to watch this with like, I want to find a TV that has the most horrible motion smoothing and watch this on that too. Yeaah. That's a good one. Megabyte was good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, so, oh, it's like a, they have to defend the city by playing the game.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But the user, well, doesn't it also mean that every time you win any video game, part of your computer gets destroyed? Which is true. Yes. That's what happens.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think people are becoming more and more aware or mindful of the fact that media can be very formative to people's worldviews, so I think there is a bit of wrist slapping going on when it comes to people consuming pop culture and pop media, because I...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know, I can't say if it's changing or not, but I know for a fact when I was a kid, a large part of my world view was formed by media. Because it's all I see, and I didn't interact with people. So if that's your only example to go off of, you start to think that life should conform to these sorts of stories or these sorts of arcs. And that's when, consuming things like Ready Player One,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You fl- you fly up Topanga's picture and then you call the police on them and then people are repelling through the- the skylights and- That's not fair. Trying to lighten your eye. Yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's the most, it's the most righteous kill, uh, busting a pedo. I, I yearn for that amount of emotional, of uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm on my way. At my most generous, I do hope that some of them want to get caught, because they're like, this thing- Cry for help. Yeaah. This thing's controlling me and I need to get taken out of society. Yeah. Uh, I hope. But don't take your mom out of society.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, Mother's Day, provided you're listening to this on Thursday when it goes up on YouTube. Mother's Day is only three days away. That's right, it's this coming Sunday. So you gotta make arrangements right now. Luckily we're here to help you do that. Uh, with...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cherries, berries. Sponsoring this podcast. I'm really glad a strawberry didn't fly out of that. Yea, you brought more?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, so Sherry's Berries is, it's a service they'll deliver a strawberry dipped chocolates that come in an insulated box, so they stay fresh for a pretty long time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And uh, they're delicious. And who doesn't like chocolate covered strawberries? Uhm, there's, you know, there's a number of pretty typical Mother's Day gifts. You can get a card or like a weird picture frame with Eat, Pray, Love on it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Or a motivational poster of some sort. But who doesn't like berries? Also, they don't, some people don't like flowers. Up to you, up to you. They say customer satisfaction is always number one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, so, uh, it's guaranteed or your money back and you choose your delivery date and once you lock it in, they guarantee that delivery date. So if you go there and they'll offer to deliver on Mother's Day, they promise they'll make it happen.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, you can get this box, which comes, uh, gift-wrapped. We took the gift-wrap off last week, but it's a fancy box. You don't really need to do any extra packing yourself. You can get that shipped directly to your dear sweet mother for only $19.99 plus shipping and handling using our promo code DUDESOUP. And you can actually double the order for another $10.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yep, gotta get in there. So to do that, go to berries.com, B-E-R-R-I-E-S.com, and then there's a little like microphone promo code thing in the upper right. You click on that, type in our code DUDESOUP, it'll unlock the $19.99 offer, so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Go check it out right now. These are always a hit. Everybody here loves them. You should do it. Be nice to your mom.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The way that that spread and the eyes that it drew, that was like every marketing executive in the entire country got an erection immediately. And it took six weeks for it to go away. There were a lot of doctors called over that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What I'm going to do- I've already seen it. Well, so I have a, this is one of the most recent ones, but throughout history I've compiled some pretty amazing product tie-ins that I think are a good reminder of the fact that yea, this is nothing new, it's just that the platform changes and the product being shilled changes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, there's gonna be a summer block three years from now that doesn't have a Marvel, Pixar, or Disney feature in it, so they could make an Atlanta movie then.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Six, oh boy. I'm gonna go four out of ten. Alright, uh, let's move on to the next one. This one's a classic. Uh, hold on, let me unmute everything. There's a lot of stuff here. Anyone else think it's strange?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No one makes sense. So this, this is, this is pretty inspirational. This next one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Never right. Next up. Never ever ever. The, the Batman burger train starts on.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The uh, the uh, the sales pitch at the end is that the machines need your energy so you have to drink Powerade so you produce body heat for them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Signed by Heath Ledger. One of the agents from The Matrix.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You wanna talk about, like, videos that pedos have on loop, probably?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] God, so this one, uh, is a great- Oh yea, I wrote this commercial.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So yea, I can see it being just like a communal thing. That doesn't seem like a handshake to me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I think it's also the demo for Star Trek, probably older, like people that watch TOS and they're going


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If, if, if your game is seen as an equal platform to the biggest movie on the planet, that's amazing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Metrics can start conversations, but things like that end them before they begin. If it's like you can ask for so much more money just because of the visibility of Marvel partnering with you or Thanos being in your game having the good graces of being


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Trusted with properties like that. That goes for a lot, in my understanding.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sure. Somebody just linked this in chat, actually. Oh, let me credit it appropriately, because chat's working this week.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Let's see if, uh, I can probably scroll through it on my own here.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've heard rumblings. I've heard rumblings. I mean, they're like the most palatable rumblings in the world. I've heard that Marvel basically sees the Arkham Knight series as what they'd like for their games too. But yeah, oh sure, you want like a really good third person great AAA action game? Yeah, sure. We just want to be the best, you know? Yeah. Can we just have that?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, what you can't have is a hard body. You can have a superhero body, but you gotta earn it though.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You can't get that by picking up a gauntlet in a free to play game. Sorry.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You gotta reach for that phone. Pick it all the way up. Bicep curl that phone to you. Then text 30 30 30. Or text dude to 30 30 30. That's how you can start your, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Any kind of program you're looking for. So if you just want quick 10 minute workouts or you want to get all jacked up, uh, bodybuilding, weight training, cardio, high intensity interval, uh, yoga, dance workouts, it's all there. You can find what's good for you or just experiment if you want to try something else.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, for a long, eh, I remember for a long time I would just do like weight lifting and cardio stuff and then one time I did Pilates and it wrapped me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, uh, it's interesting to go outside of your comfort zone and discover just how out of shape you truly are.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, you can also work out on your schedule. So, uh, if you have 10 minutes to spare, you can get a good sweat in. If you've got an hour, you can blow yourself out and then tell yourself you don't have to work out for another week and then a day later you feel guilty and do it again.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is, uh, this is our healthy relationship with fitness. Or mine specifically. But if you'd like to try a free trial membership, all you have to do...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Let's text DUDE, D-U-D-E to 30-30-30. It's a number. 30-30-30. D-U-D-E for a free trial membership. Thanks Beachbody for the sponsorship. Thanks for making us all a little hotter.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And thanks Nintendo for listening to us for once. Uh, I don't know, do you guys have any, uh, closing thoughts about Fortnite or Thanos or anything like that?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Four or five people do that, but if you're lucky you can get up to it, hold E and get it right away, but then you'll pretty much die immediately. Wait, so the gauntlet's in the meteor? Yeah, so shortly after, shortly after the match starts a meteor crashes, the gauntlet pops out. It's random inside the safe zone.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, the other, other interesting good is, uh, kind of also in like Battlefront.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The gauntlet and Thanos appear on your compass at the top.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, if you're trying to find it, it's always easy. Also, when the gauntlet's on the ground, it shoots a big beam of light up into the sky. So, it's pretty easy to track down.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, but you still need to be the one alive that gets it. That's where I... And then other people use it as a trap. It'll just be snipers posted up all around in the middle of a big empty field. So many will be going for it. Right through the head.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I only wear these- You might be biased. I wear these now because they're the highest-ankled shoes I have, and I'm riding a motorcycle, so. Well, you buy new shoes?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Then I'd have 10,000 less dollars and I'd be old and dumb. Now I'm young and hot. Isn't the star of that prize shines twice as bright?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, enough, enough about fashion or going outside Nintendo. Uh, so they finally announced their online service. It'll be able to back up saves. Whoa! Wow! $20 for a year, $8 for free.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Steam does, yes. Uh, Xbox doesn't, Playstation doesn't. Wait, no Xbox can, Playstation will not.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Whatever. Uh, $4 per month, $8 for three months, $20 per year. Family membership, allowing eight family accounts.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] $35 a year, uh, online play, uh, voice chat, all the normal goodies we've come to expect.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But Nintendo also doesn't want to make... So like, it's weird. Why do you speak for Nintendo?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was gonna, I was gonna say it's, it's, it's a weird position to be a platform holder and a creator of content for that platform and also the people who make the best content for that platform.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And also having a legacy that could also crowd out the entire platform. So, if you were on Switch and you were selling a mid-tier Steam game, which is what everyone's doing on Switch, you don't want to compete with Super Nintendo Catalyst.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Also an investor relation thing, you go to the investors and say we had a great quarter. And they're like great, what about next quarter? If you have a subscription service and you say we added on 500 million users and they're not going anywhere.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Then it creates constant revenue plus increases, whereas if you have piecemeal sales, you get a really great quarter and then you have to top it again.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I actually had to re-buy into it. Because yeah, I wanted to cancel my stuff, but then I wanted to transfer my God of War save.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's not even that hard! Then it tells me I was supposed to turn it off before I turned it off.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, it's got, it's got the hoses turned way down, cause they're launching with 20 OLD fucking ass games. It's always so...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think Nintendo knows that like, this is just a curiosity. You know, for a particular, for an age range that has never played these games, or an older crowd that has,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And Disney's not also selling a box that you need to watch stuff, so it's like Nintendo's got a whole ecosystem going.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When it came to paying more for a code or going to a GameStop, you guys still bought the code even though it was more expensive? I mean, would've, I think...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hey, I can vouch that it's all cut up and it all makes sense. Okay, I trust you. Uh, okay, so Nintendo's playing hard to get is what I'm reading into this. 100%. Huh. Just like Disney. Let's smash any three!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Actually Smash is launching this fall, and online is gonna be behind the paywall. So, there it is.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wow, that's what makes it special. It's like getting in the gauntlet. Not everybody can be Thanos. Wait, so what's happening in the games that are already online? Big ol' purple dick. Uh, so Splatoon, yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And that's why, instead of toiling away in this life, we need to look forward to the next one. Because yes, it is another week, and yes, there is another Breakthrough Cyberpunk 2077.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Headline to talk about. Don't we have another ad reads? Yea, we do. This is more important. Sweet.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You gotta make those stingers quick, Bruce. Alright, this comes from Francesco Fossetti on Facebook. Facebook? Yeah, you know it. Uh, I gotta see that translation there. No, just read it in its native tongue. Oh boy. Almost liked it. Almost gave it a heart. I can't do that, alright.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Quote, I just made an appointment for E3 with CD Projekt Red. I don't know what it is, but it's gonna be a big deal. Because the presentation will last an hour.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Here, do you feel that thrill running down your spine? This is back. Back?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When do you think it's going to come out? I'm pulling some strings. Oh, probably a week after E3. Lawrence, are you going to get to see? I'm pulling some strings first.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, imagine how much better you'd sleep with the support from a wonderful Casper mattress, who is sponsoring this podcast.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, Casper is a new kind of mattress company. You don't have to go into some...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's American ingenuity, which is important. Casper mattresses are all made in the USA. Best nation on the planet, makes the best mattress on the planet.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I just, I turn it into the mattress now and it circulates, it sterilizes, it kills all the ticks.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So you can order online, it's delivered right to your door, compact box, uh, an individual can carry it around, which is also great if you've ever had to deal with moving a bed or anything like that. And it has a risk-free 100-day trial.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They say that considering you spend a third of your life on a mattress, it's important to sleep on a mattress for a while before fully committing. Sometimes you can get a mattress and it feels fine for the first couple of days, but over a while you might start to develop a backache or something like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] 100 days or 100 nights specifically. Gives you plenty of time to make sure that this will fit your body well, give you a good night's sleep. And you can get $50 towards select mattresses by going to casper.com slash dudesoup.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And using code DUDESOUP at checkout, uh, once more that's $50 towards select mattresses at casper.com slash DUDESOUP, code DUDESOUP at checkout, uh, so go check that out. Thank you Casper for your sponsorship.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And thank you for the many years of wonderful night sleep I've had since they sponsored this podcast and hooked me up with a free mattress.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Contract writers, they're powerful. Alright, let's, let's uh, let's net hard.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How you guys are familiar with The Hell at Midnight, right? Yeah. Sweet. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Make em all pay three dollars. Alright, so we got Howl at Midnight, uh, James, you may not... No, I was here last night. James and I were there, yea.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So that's uh, that's the reigning champion. Uh, this next one is, so there's, come on now, there's a whole, let me preface this, there's a whole subculture.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hold on, this is the other feed of strength. Watch out. This is pretty graphic. Wait, wait, wait for it. It's out here so we just go.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They, uh, they can usually do each one, each show once and then they're not asked back.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, so yeaah. The power team chopping steel, um, demonstrating feats of strength versus Hal at Midnight. Let's see what the most recent post on this whole thread is here.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, for those unfamiliar, Howl at Midnight is a roleplaying thread on the Backyard Chickens forum, in which there are a number of rules laying out the, uh, canine society, and uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, this is yesterday. So they added like- They're still going. How many pages did they add since last week? Uh, I don't remember what the count was at. It was in the 1100 area, so I think 3 or 4 pages maybe.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's apparently to some dude. This is like a, it's a four minute YouTube video. How do they make it a 22 minute TV spot?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] These are some cool lower thirds. Yes. They gotta, they have to roll in human name. David Jaffe! Lost in 2.0.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They gotta roll the human interest packages to make you care about the people that are throwing up. There, there's eating some stuff there. They're gagging. Hey, it didn't look too good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So maybe, maybe they cut out all of the parts that make Lazar look not so cool. Like the hurling. Why wouldn't anyone else hurl?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We've suffered enough, yeaah. Thanks Rich, thanks everybody for joining us on this podcast. We'll be back next week.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] With more hard-hitting commentary, journalism, Fortnite com- Fortnite stuff. I doubt it. Cyberpunk! That'll be E3 news next week.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, cyberpunk. That's what I said. I said E3 news.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What if they do a reboot fighting game? Arc System could put anything in. They got Ruby now? Everything. Everything. Oh, piece of Ruby. Yeah. We'll see you next week everybody. Bye.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So he plays baseball, dressed as a sexual lady, is that your kid?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We were talking to Bones' wife a little bit over the weekend, Allie, and she was talking about uhm, cause she's a doctor. Allie's a treasure. She was giving us all sorts of info about epidurals and like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] All these magnificent things about like how a spinal tap works and...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I could just say, I see Jess, cause you know obviously we've talked about like, oh one day we'll have kids and I see Jess going.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] For me hurting myself. Uh, thank god we have a job with healthcare though. Yes. Sounds good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I got one of those on my palm. I had a growth on top of my head. It's still kind of there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You don't want to do that. I was always wondering about the Disney Vault because they're like, buy Bambi on VHS today, it's going in the vault. It's arbitrary.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, they could potentially go, just kidding, it's in the Disney vault. And they're like, you just, you just said you're not gonna, what? No.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, Lawrence and Stephanie with their bags. Yeah. And they're like, there's a trail, but you're not gonna wanna walk that. I'm like, well we don't have our bags, so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh it goes, well yeaah. We started going up and then we're like, no, this is enough. Yeaah. We found the crucifix, you know, bless him. Yeaah, that's what that means.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes. It's a beautiful little city, population of like 32,000.


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[Assistant] I was talking about the lack of cell connection that I had for data.


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[Assistant] Like almost none. Because we're all on Project Phi. It was like being in the 90s again.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was basically text only, which I guess was fine. Like, so we could all communicate with each other, but uhm.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Also, I guess when I got there, I was already in a bad mood. Because they gave my, I rented a car and they gave it away. Oh yeaah. And then the woman tried to explain it and I'm like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know. I must have fucked up somewhere along the line.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The thing is too, like, I rent a car once every five years maybe, like, cause Lyft and Uber are pretty much everywhere, so when you travel you're like, oh that's fine. Juno has


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] During peak sweating though, there's a part where it was getting hot inside so we all go outside.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Mosquito. Anyway, we're just getting like bombarded. Like it was just, I hit one that was full of blood just exploded. I'm like, this is getting crazy. So then we got the bug spray and then they just, they saw it as a challenge. So they just kept coming at us. We're like, god damn.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I feel like some dogs with ticks on them like the size of a golf ball and they're like, whatever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Pick on the mammal that invented space travel. Like, pick some- get the dumb porcupine.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Nothing needed? You're not reeling from that at all? What's going on? Our pain tolerance, I believe, has gone way down because we...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So Juno's like a little southern, I think? I don't know. So it wasn't like, it actually got dark, which was nice. Because it is the summer, but. So is Anchorage further north?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If I remember correctly, it felt more like a tundra. Less of a woodsy place. Is there a ridge and a dock?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, there's a weird irony when they're basically mad at you for killing the glacier. They're like, global warming is a human problem. Like, we created this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I could be wrong, maybe helicopters don't contribute so much to killing the environment.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, that's the other thing too, is like, to come see the glacier, you take a cruise ship, which are supposed to be like the biggest killers of like the infighters.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Millions of cruise ships. That'd be cool. Why not? Space ships. Why the hell not?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, our, we didn't say in the boat, a friend of ours was doing the Airbnb in San Diego. He got a, we got a crash course and how, how much it costs to take a fucking boat on the water.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, they introduce uh, characters I've never even heard of.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's a good example, there's a, so they have different star versions of characters. There's a four star version of Rocket and Groot. And there's the one of don't push that button.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it's, Groot will auto-move basically the tiles for you for four turns, because it's supposed to be the bomb that explodes in the movie. You're like, oh, that's dope. And then, it's a whole thing of a fight.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They do a really good job of implementing the game. It's like, nothing ever feels alien. It's always like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So it's like, it's a really good game that actually treats, they listen to the audience a lot, they're always changing stuff up, so there is actually community behind it, and like, James and I are part of it, play it all through.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right now you're on my Paul Rudd's Ant-Man though, right? Scott Lang? Yea. Yea. I think it's Scott Lang. Yea yea. Face pin particles. Pretty awesome.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, real quick, before this one, the last time I remember a story like this was, uh, I forgot his name, Adam Orth or something? Yes. He was the, uh, Xbox guy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If that had gone your way, imagine you being like a successful club owner today.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's odd that it feels inverted, or at least that's the way I see it. But that one person will come out and say,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You did this, and then you go, woah, and then you hone in on that when James always talks about this. We should probably be...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Addressing the positivity much more than the negativity. And I try to at least give it a favorite or something and


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Trying not to focus in too much on the negative or just try to take his constructive criticism, not respond, maybe type out a comment and then delete it. Just cause it's like therapeutic, get it out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Perfectly frothed milk, a shot of cold pressed espresso. It's not written like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's the, that's the voice in my head doing that, and a lot of times we associate in negativity.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I forget, I forget what, I'm trying to remember which company he was at at the time, either it was Riot or 3D Realms, but.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He sided with someone who was, or, I forget exactly what it was, but it was something


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Racially provocative or something and...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, they're like, ehm, he's gone. And like, jump to the next place. And you know, stuff like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I was only using the example of someone who you could see that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The theater of Twitter was, thing was said, person was let go. That's why I brought up Adam Orrith earlier, where he went off representing Microsoft.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Everyone was very excited because there was a VHS player upstairs and they had a VHS copy of, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And to Lawrence's credit, he had brought a Chromecast with him, hooked it up, logged into his Amazon account, and we all watched episode 1 together.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He knew the name, he was right on top of it, he knew the line from the movie, it was a beautiful moment.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Grip of, uh, references to episode one's stuff in solo.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's probably most people, I think, they went, they, a lot of people said, I'll wait. That's a bummer. It's, it was a, whatever, who cares.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you had a 7.5 inch penis, James, would you say you have a 7.5 inch penis?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is there into it? This is... I'm a little disgusted by this person.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I'm gonna go with the anime because it's a little safer than this guy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sometimes they're fast. Markiplier, he's challenging me to not laugh at part of his videos.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Honing their craft. There's so much out there, you don't need to watch the same stuff. Find new things. I think of- Adam's life in a nutshell.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think, I think everyone goes, what's that, the first video I jerked into when I was 16? Oh, there's no way I could find that now. Ask your dad for the tape.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Rollerblade.com, and then there's a chat room, people who like rollerblades. Okay, so I'm like, I'll go to wrestling.com, as knowing me, I can't spell wrestling very well, so I went to Rezling, which ended up just being a porno site.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'll show you the good stuff. And he showed me like, it was like a lesbian porno, but it was just two blobs going at each other. It was so pixelated, like, I guess. Sure. You guys have it so good right now. You have no idea.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Tell me what the important stuff is because I don't have a lot of time. There's no time. Condensate for me. There's too much, too much.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know what I did, uh, over the course of Christmas and then finished it, uh, this weekend? What's that? Beat Street Fighter V's cinematic story experience, finally. With every character? Well, cinematic story experience is just...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's like the most efficient way to get fight money is by doing all that stuff. Yeah. And when...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They switch over to arcade edition, that opportunity to get fight money is gonna be gone.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's not gone, they're just changing how you earn it. So you just won't be able to earn it in those like super quick get rich schemes. You have to do fight money mode.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, there's DLC characters, yea. There's a season's worth of characters. When is that game? Soon.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I feel like you could get away with it. It wouldn't be perfect, but...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Really? Well, it's weird, it's weird, and this may be a Lawrence thing, but you think that the issue is only ever with you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But romance is, romance and dating is a two-way street. You're dealing with two very complex things that are trying to figure out if their gears match, metaphorically, and...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Literally, uhm, and so when you're tr- when you're constantly taking it introspectively and saying how did that interaction go and what did I do wrong so that way the next person can go- it's like the next person's gonna be different, you know? You just need to figure out- I've always said


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I don't have a lot of dating experience. I don't know that I was necessarily like sitting there like, oh no, please notice me or whatever, like, I don't know, I just didn't, I just...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was like, if it's going to happen, it's going to happen. Like I wasn't necessarily confident in who I was, but I think I was doing pretty well for someone who was like 15 or 16 and like, I'm, I'm living, I was pretty good about going, I'm living a good life right now. We'll see how things pan out over the next 10 years, but I'm living a good life right now and I'm doing things that make me happy. But it's just to know that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] These experiences are supposed to help you figure out how you're going to become a more confident person and then ultimately when things work out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Early, it's not even dating, but all of my like early girlfriends or whatever from like elementary school were formal processes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, there is, there is a situation with me where shortly, shortly before summer break, it was like, I thus decree that you shall be boyfriend and girlfriend, and I was like, cool.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, she always seemed cool all year, seemed cool. So that's cool. We're boyfriend girlfriend now and summer break happened and I'm like, I don't own a phone. I don't own a car. That's the end. Like that's the end. And then I came back the next year. I came back at the end of the next school year. And then one of her friends was like, just so you know, you guys are broken up because you didn't talk to her all summer. And I was like, yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What if you keep looking at the dude that pops in twice on the left? What does that say?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, I think building on kind of that, there's an inherent flaw in most people's thinking that I think precedes media. I think the media is just a reflection of it. It's a cultural thing that's existed for thousands and thousands of years that a relationship is something you get or acquire.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Which is never the case and, and I think in your specific example, uh, disregarding probably your other neuroses and what have you and that like those things fell to the wayside when you just act, when you weren't even thinking about it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A relationship is supposed to be two people that enjoy each other's company.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That you kind of just get to a point where you decide, oh, I enjoy your company the most, thus we're both gonna make a mutual decision, maybe not at the same time, but at some point are those things, those decisions will line up and we'll decide that we just want to spend time with each other the most.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean the problem is the getting part. You think of it as an acquisition when honestly if you don't


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you don't spend time around people, that's the bigger issue. If you're so isolated in your own life,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That you aren't in social circles, meeting new people, meeting, like, catching up with people, conversing with people on a regular basis, and, and almost even worse if those people are only people that are exactly like you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] To say your gender or your, uh, race or your creed, your religion or anything like that. Like, you may be severely limiting yourself.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But if you just make an effort, the only effort I would say is try and spend time meeting more people and treating those people like other human beings. And along the way, there may be people that without your necessary, necessary intention or goal, you'll discover you really like spending time around.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then you continue to do it. Like, that's just kinda how it'll go. And maybe things will change and then that'll, something will happen and then it won't continue. But like, that's, that should be a more


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] ...is not the healthy part of it. Getting it means, means it's feel like it's something you don't have. You should acquire. And you have to, you have to work to acquire, when honestly, if you're yourself, and you're socializing,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Then it's something that just will maybe happen, like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, invest, or I wanna like, have, be able to retire by the time I'm this, and you don't have a job.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right, like you're, you're two steps ahead of the process. There's a whole nother thing, a whole nother phasing of it that you're missing that is just gonna hamper the way you believe this whole thing works.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I mean, I think, I think the online dating thing, I would say, in a different perspective, it works for different people, I would say that is a form of socialization, but you should treat it similarly. Uh, the problem is-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The problem is the marketing of some of those, those online dating apps as ways to get women or ways to get guys, right? Like, if you thought of it as socialization,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And the pitch was, wanna meet people but you're really fucking busy? Then maybe you'd be a little less inclined to swipe off someone that you don't find attractive. You go out to a bar with the intention of meeting someone, and there's someone that you think is ugly on the other end of the bar, you're not gonna go,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Maybe talk to that girl. You're just gonna do that math already in your head?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But if your intention is not to get laid, get a girlfriend, just meet people and socialize and kind of have human interactions, then that's not gonna hamper you anyway, and then who knows what you can discover about said person or person.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Or whatever, you know, like unfortunately, and this is like I said, it precedes media, but something like Tinder is like, here's a way to get like a girlfriend or here's a way to get a boyfriend.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If, if it was just like, are you busy, but you really just want to have conversations with human beings?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, here's an app where you can do it. These other people are looking to hang out somewhere, you know? And it's not gonna be you going paying for a location. Pick a place, you'll split the tab in the app afterwards, or whatever, like, and then it's just, you go and have a conversation with someone. Or, let's group. Here's a group of seven.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, I think human nature is just for most people to default, find something that's comfortable that you can turn into a routine and then.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then constantly sit in that routine thinking about how much you hate it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And how you're stuck in it, right? Like, that's just, I think that's human nature. I think everyone does it no matter how good or bad they have it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But you can only change things by breaking it and building new routines until you're tired of that. So I mean, like, kinda like Adam said, it's like, fucking sucks, but maybe, yeah, like, not you specifically, but someone has to find something to do to change about the way they go about their day.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I think a lot of people get frustrated with the prospect of that, that first initial break in their routine. So then they think about the next, the acquisition phase of it and then it muddles everything up personally, so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, but they'd think that's awesome. He went out in a blaze of glory. That's why they call it blaze of glory, Adam.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He destroys everything that's valuable to him, and yes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, you, you had made a conscious decision to be yourself and, and take stock in what you actually find to be a personal value of yourself, right? And the things that you want. It's like having a savings account, right? Like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You always want to have a rainy day fund. Your rainy day fund is your own personal self-worth. So someone may have gone through what you went through with your divorce and come out of it with nothing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like not financially, I'm talking about like with nothing. They would have gone into that hole, cause it's a black hole and it'll suck you in. And they would have come out with nothing. And then they, but you honestly probably, I don't know how you feel about it, but it seems like you came out as a stronger person.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because I think you were able to tap into some of the self-worth that you had saved up over time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You don't have to, but the thing is when you're with someone you enjoy being with, you don't have to tap into it at all. You just keep throwing, every single month you throw a little bit more into the savings account, you feel better and better about your life, but then when things go south, you have this, this bucket of things that you can go into to get through the hard times, you know?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Also it's weird, sex is a fucking, sex is a massive spectrum.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sex can be someone grinding on your dick, right, until you come in your pants. Boom. I had sex, right? Like, for some people, that's sex. For other people, like, oh, I'd much rather take it up the butt than I'd give you a blowjob. Like, like, it's...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Different people have different spectrums for the spectrum of sex, and like, to make sure everyone's clearly at least within the same color, color radius would be nice, I think.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I think there's a conversation about what you believe to be your perception of something you need to constantly recalibrate with the rest of the world and the people around you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think there's value in that, you know, like, and this goes for anything. This goes for sex, this goes for relationships, goes for politics, goes for religion, it goes for walking down the street, like, sometimes,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Take a minute and go like, does my perspective, is that in tune with the people that are being directly affected? And I think there's value in that, you know?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In all of everyone's defense. It's what human beings are probably the worst at. Empathy? Uh, it's not empathy. It's just, it's just comparing your perspective of the world with everyone else's and then trying to figure out if there's cohesion there and then how to resolve that cohesion in a way that involves the least number of people being upset by it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But the thing is, generally the way it goes is someone goes, that person agrees with me. I'm right. But all you did was you just kept...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's what societies are. Sociology is just constant, you know, constant measuring of how that works. So it's natural human inclination. You know, that's just how these beasts are designed. But if you want to step out of the jungle.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Even if it's not asking every time, it's like, and I think this is something that happened with that article, I think every single dude who's ever been with a woman went, like they just, they stopped and they went,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, could an article like, not necessarily this article, but could anything be written about me based off any of the actions that I took throughout my entire life, no matter how boring and how lame? Like, I'm a virgin!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Did I? Like, did I? Like, you have to, like, I think it kind of made everyone do that, and I don't think that it should be a shock to do that, but I think if you get into that pattern of behavior where you don't necessarily feel shame, but you actually are willing to do that,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How your actions can affect those around you. Again, not necessarily related to sex or relationships in life. Like, I think there's value in that. Uhm, the problem is when you make it seem like, like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, we're gonna getcha for it. I think you're less likely.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like if it's a gotcha thing, it feels like you're less likely to walk away. You're going to immediately get defensive and go like, no, no, no, no, no. Like, like she was totally cool. Like kind of thing. Like that's the nap. That's again, a human reaction.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How dare you. Yeah, but human beings are complex things. If you take stock in yourself, and you have that savings account, you read something like that and you go,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think I'm good. Like I think I, I think I was okay there. Um, and I'll try and consider that person's perspective, but I'm not going to go cut myself tonight because


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] of what happened to that person's parents. And then also I would say in human beings defense, maybe more specifically of human beings, our community.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But if you just are like, oh, a dog, and you go to do it, you're only gonna get bit if something's wrong with the dog, not wrong with you. You know, like, I dunno.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You have a need for validation. It also might change your perspective on what you think is a good and a bad date. Which could be even worse. Cause then you go down a path that isn't healthy for anyone.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, you can't- Maybe you are. You can't get 100% correct in terms of your empathy or your personal perspective every single time. Just to be aware of it and take stock in it and take responsibility for your life.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do you see that craziness? And uh, you don't often see this kind of comedy coming out of the rural side of Portland. So I'm excited for the potential here. He definitely has a style and a tone that he set up all himself. And I like cutting back and forth between all the different aspect ratios.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Fun House Live returns to the Regent Theater in Downtown LA, April 26th. Head to Ticketfly.com for tickets and details.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Places in the world, right? The lifestyle, the beach.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know for the longest time I, like an idiot, I don't know why I'm admitting that I'm stupid, for the longest time I thought that the skipper was, was not the captain, either the skipper


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Was below captain, for whatever reason, and I thought that Gilligan was the captain. Was the captain? No. Yeah. And I was like, I was like, man, as stupid as Gilligan must be, Skipper must be dumber.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, because they got lost on the three hour tour, so I was like, oh, must be stupid, right? So I was like, oh, Gilligan could screw that up. And then I also thought the comedic dichotomy of having the one below


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Be like, come on, get like, come on, like the captain being the dumb one and then the people around always, like the people with less authority being smarter.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, we went through a fucking crazy storm the other night. Bruce, Jacob, John, and I were cro- like, I was below deck fixing holes. Were you in the brig?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, I was not in the brig. Alright? I was a valuable member of my crew. Except that you go out on that ocean and you're gonna get hit by lightning bolts like crazy. What are we talking about today?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I haven't rewatched this trailer forever. I'm very curious to see what it looks like and like what it portrays the game at. Because all I remember is being fired out of tanks and kind of running around on islands.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, you couldn't turn around without the developers talking about...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How amazing and groundbreaking this game is gonna be.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well I don't know why there's another person. It kinda looks like this. The only problem there is it showed five.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, is already not accurate. When we played the beta...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There are some missions where they'll tell you to go to an island, but it won't be marked with an X. It'll say,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Knowing that I didn't spend a penny on it, uhm, I think this is part of a bigger discussion which keeps coming around again and again.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When people talk about, uh, DLC or season passes or anything, or like things like that, we're constantly in a state of game devs trying to figure out how to offset how expensive it is to make video games these days.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, because people want to, would ideally like to have job security, you know, and so it's easier to create, like you said, a service that goes on for a long time as opposed to ship a game, break off the dev team, or try and get another one going.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's what they do now. It's like game developers are like politicians, where they're like, well, maybe not politicians anymore, but what politicians used to be, uhm, where they would not specifically say something that could be contradicted later.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Or whatever, not cynical, we'll go, I take that as a yes, and other people will not be able to hold them accountable.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I could not imagine doing matchmaking in this. I haven't tried it. Well, it does auto matchmaking.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was playing, I was like, this feels like, this feels like a mobile game, kind of? Like, how their mobile games are like, log in every day, and just do a little bit, and do a little bit, and do a little bit, but like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Someone must have had a board meeting call where they said this is a prime candidate for game pass, because people can't get upset with us.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because, because we're letting them try it for a-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, you have to consider that people are looking at stuff like PUBG, like PUBG and ARK.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Unfinished. But are, basically people are charging, have been paying for, for, I don't know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Two years or something. You know, like, PUBG is a great game at what it is supposed to be, that small type of game that it is, very specific. But, if you think about it in terms of content, there's not a ton there. Like, I mean, even games that I love like Overwatch,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like if you think about it in terms of content, it's just a stellar, stellar team-based shooter, but that's, there's no single-player campaign, there's no, like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I would say it's best in class. Like, it's at least at the top of its class. The only problem is Sea of Thieves is it doesn't, you don't have anything to really compare it to. To say like, oh, this is, I guess it does have Black Wake, that's a good point. Uhm. Or Skull and Crossbones. Which, I would say this looks better and plays better than when I played Black Wake. But.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I still don't know if it's that good that you can justify it. Also, I have a feeling that they're gonna be like, alright, we're adding Sea of Thieves DLC, it's the Forbidden Islands DLC. Better be free. They're probably gonna charge for it, I mean, it should be free.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, I think it'd be interesting because we are playing this on PC, you know, through the Xbox app. It would be interesting if when you tried to buy the game digitally,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's, it had a message that popped up and said, Hey, we noticed you don't have game pass. Do you want to play sea of three thieves free for 14 days? Sign up for game pass now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, if you already are a member go, hey, like if it reminded you like five or six times, because I think it's about educating the consumer, that there's basically a way to try this game for super free.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You level up your mission classes, which then unlock


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, I get both of it, and I, I still think it's a decision that they made that they were like, PUBG just released kind of a game that was just like it's thing, so let's see if we can get away with that too.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I play video games every single day of my life, and when Elise and I started, I had to open up a second window and google how to play Sea of Thieves.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I played the beta and everything, but I was like, it's not fresh. It's like, there's a boat.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then, but it was a sloop, which normally I'd only, in the beta, I'd only played on the galleon. And then I had to Google where the thing was that you even pitch emit. Like, there are certain just things. That's a good point. That were like. There's no real tutorial aspect. You don't need to tell me to crouch and go under the thing or sprint or jump. But there's certain things like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is that mine? Can you give me one quest that just, like I'll take the quest and it goes here's your quest to set up quests.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You'll find the Kraken. I mean, they do allude to other players, but they've also said that the idea is the world and the way they put people in the world, it's set up that you're only probably gonna run into other players every like 15 to 20 minutes or something. Sure. Right? Which doesn't, like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It seems like that's not controlled. It's not like, it's not like Fortnite or PUBG or any of the Battle Royales where they're like, as the game progresses.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There will be a, now you are face to face with greater challenges. The greatest challenge being the other players on another computer somewhere else. This is just kind of like 90% of me playing this game.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I feel like they are because there's already stuff in the game that seems to indicate that that's where they want it to go. I hope it does. There's lanterns all over the boats and they serve no purpose.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Whatsoever, unless you think of it as, oh, light this lantern, flash this lantern, to signal another ship, like this is a non-verbal piece of communication that would work from one thousand miles away, where I'm gonna flash my light, oh I'm gonna flash my light, we are aligned. Or just turning out your lanterns so you aren't seeing it, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That only feels like that would come into play if you pulled up alongside another ship.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And you made that gesture like, okay, now I know, but what it should be is it should cue some sort of UI thing in the game that allows them to choose whether or not they want to accept that friendship, like Civ, you know? When you go to another civilization, you're like, let's declare our friendship, okay, for this amount of time,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just like they kinda control the way you inter- when your ship sinks because some- it's like, you know, we always complain in GTA that someone kills you and then it spawns you five feet away from that person and they kill you again, you're like, what the fuck, why wouldn't you put me somewhere else if you know that this asshole's here? See if these is actually pretty good about like, oh, someone came up, they sunk my ship,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So my ship is gonna respawn on an island that is far enough away that I would be able to get to my ship, get on the ship, sail away before they could come and get me again, you know? So there is a certain aspect of that, but...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's, eh, I don't know, it's, my thing is if they continue to flesh out this game, because I think it's a good engine, I think it's a great sailing engine, and it's a fun social engine, and I think the game looks pretty,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think it'd be cool to find ways, cause right now it's basically one person steers the boat.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So you send a team onto an island to do something?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] While also another team has to, like, there's, oh, there's a blockade, we can't get past it. Then the boat has to get to a position where it can fire a cannonball, which


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Exactly, like something like that would be fun cause right now it's literally just a group of four and then everyone, as soon as you get close, drop anchor and then everyone gets on the edge of the ship, charges their sword and then launches off to see who can get the treasure first. And like there's really not any sort of cooperation to it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well like, cause even when you start the game, you always start in the pub. And on the doorway to the pub is the pirate code.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Which like, has all these rules for like, what it is to be a pirate.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And like that's a perfect opportunity to, what you're saying, do a no combat zone.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Everyone on the map always knows where the no combat zone is and you go there and it's a pirate town that feels alive and you meet people that are like, maybe this is the same person who stole your treasure or like shot you with a cannon earlier, but then he's also there so then you challenge them to darts.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It just needs more intended game direction, I think.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, now it's so open, but I think sometimes that's giving a little too much credit to the players. Like, I mean, if you give them a ton of tools, then sure, if you give them a, like a Gmod


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Type thing, they can do anything with it, but this is not necessarily that. It's still kind of like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Maybe not. Again, to be clear, I'm having a great time. Like Bruce and I message each other every single night and go, wanna go get treasure. And we do.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It has the ghost ship, which is cool, but it's literally just this waiting area for you to go back into the game, and I'm like, you should be able to do something there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Someone, someone's, uh, spoiled it for me, but explained in the comments, clarified that there's a spooky person in the tavern that's blocking a door.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's the best ad I've ever seen. Yeah. Sure. This isn't the actual quote that I gave you earlier, it was pretty close, but it's Vince Mancini's Uproxx review of Ready Player One, and it says,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Ready Player One came out in 2011 at the high watermark of the nerd as culture force phenomenon. At the time, G4 was still going strong and Chris Hardwick had released a self-help book with a cover featuring Hardwick brandishing the word nerd written on his knuckles, promising to teach you how to reach the next level in real life.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So using the first trailer to final release ratio.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cyberpunk is gonna have ships of at least seven.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, I can tell. It's the, uh, it's the Limp Bizkit version. Henry Cavill starts to walk out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Comics generally don't have the bubbles on a different panel.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That just point vaguely to someone's hand when they're talking. There's not a lot of room. She's got plenty of room right there in front of her mouth.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know that the rate was that different. I think it was just more that we wouldn't have been able to do another one forever. Because the venues in Los Angeles tend to book up pretty quickly.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's so liberating streaming on our own platform because we can do anything we want. Provided, perhaps, violate federal law. I think that would be an issue. But showing some balls, I mean, whatever. You want me to show my balls? Hey, we can do whatever we want. We can do whatever we want.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Show us your balls, John. Hold on. Wait, hold on. Let me... Do you see how much, how many views he has?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah. Doesn't matter. It's funny you guys bring that up. Uh, cuz another story broke this week about someone else temporarily leaving to come back to the adulation and fame of, uh, basically in the entire planet. Kevin Spacey. Yes, Kevin Spacey's back, ladies and gentlemen. Fuck it, I'll just turn this off. We're already getting into the spice. If Kevin Spacey puts a movie out, everyone's gonna go see it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yea, especially if it's about anything like remotely sexual.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Of course you're gonna go see Lucy. I will not support him with my hard-earned dollars, no thank you. That's what happens when you take something away and you want it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Welcome to a, uh, a lawless bowl of dude soup. Anything goes. John's balls. Uh, Kevin Spacey's. Nope. No, it's okay man, it's fine. So I was just gonna say I had my balls out right before we switched the camera.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sorry everybody, you missed the balls. You might have heard them though, so remember that. I'm your host of this podcast, Lawrence Sontag, and because I'm jet lagged, I'm using that as an excuse to drink not one, but two beers during the podcast. This is my sippin' beer and this is my chuggin' beer.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We'll see which one finishes up first. I was on the same flight, I'm okay. Believe me, I'm using it as an excuse. I actually slept pretty well last night. I slept like a baby.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, drugged up baby. Joined by drugged bit, drugged baby Adam Covey. Hey, what's up?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then, uh, the, sadly, Slober, Sober Child. Slober? That can be a word, whatever. Sober Child, Omar de Armas, say.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Not sober, but yea. Yea, right on. Starting the workday, well, finishing the workday. Cruising through the middle of the workday proper.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] 12 o'clock somewhere. And then verified possessor of two balls, uh, John Smith. Hey John. Hello. We got a lot of things to talk about. So let's not talk about any of them. Instead, sit here in some awkward silence.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's a little fuzzy. Uh, we got three sponsors on today's podcast. Sherry's Berries, Blue Apron, and Mack Weldon. Get 20% off any purchase over $29 from Sherry's Berries by going to berries.com and using our code DUDESOUP at checkout.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, you can get $30 off your first Blue Apron order by going to BlueApron.com slash soup and get 20% off your Mack Weldon order by using our promo code Dude at MackWeldon.com. Uh, you'll have a little more information about all those offers later.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But first we got some, thank you. It's the Wild West ladies and gentlemen, no one cares about impropriety, no one cares about seeing corpses in a forest, and no one cares about, uh, I don't know, good sequels? It's probably a good sequel. I don't know where my sequels are going with that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Corpse Harder. Uh, some, some details potentially leaked about Red Dead 2. Uhm, and a lot of them, like, it's one of those leaks where it's like you read most of them and you're just like, yeah, that sounds exactly like what Red Dead 2 would be. So there's not a whole lot of spice to it, and I realize I should undercut the severity of these rumors before I get to them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm like, this looks new and neat. It's new-ish. Uh, so this, uh, I guess to lead off, Rockstar did announce an official release date, October 26th. So that's, that's for real this time. There's no way it's ever gonna get delayed again. Let me take a sip of my...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That feels about right. Uh, so, we haven't had any gameplay details yet, aside from what you can glean from the trailer, aka, there will be horses and guns, crocodiles,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Who's real? He's a real person? No, I mean like he was, he was the, he's a video game protagonist in the right way which means he was pretty, pretty beige. Like you could put whatever tone on whatever he did that you wanted to and his dialogue was always very non-committal.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't feel like that was the right thing to do, ma'am. But then you go and shoot somebody in the face or whatever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh it is. But you have to have the disc. You might be able to download it, I'm not sure. Yeah, didn't they announce that if you buy Redemption 2 on Xbox you get one for free? Am I wrong about that? I have no idea. Oh boy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, they're just all dead. They're in a wasteland. There's no one to shoot. Are they just all have bullet wounds? Yeah. Generations later then. Yeah. Still have the bullet hole.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Some of the latest rumors do point to, uh, to some amount of story mutability. Not necessarily in a time traveling aspect, but let's get into the notes. So this is from Trusted Reviews, who say that they were sent some developer notes in late 2017, but had nothing to corroborate it with. They had no other information to link it to.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, uh, they kept quiet on it, didn't really publish it, because who would start a rumor without full journalistic, what's going on?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Man, that recording light doesn't do anything these days.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, uh, so now that, now that Rockstar's put out some trailers and put out some images, they've said that these promotional materials actually link up to the notes that they were passed. So now that they see that there is a real world connection, they feel vindicated in publishing this material.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's good that they waited, at least. Yeah, provided that that is what happened, you know, it's the internet, anyone can say anything. But there's no reason for them to make a whole backstory about them, aside from...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Falsely implying some credence on this story, who cares, whatever. The point is all the rumors as far as I'm concerned are actually pretty believable. The foremost being that Red Dead 2 will have Battle Royale mode. That's not entirely shocking given that GTA Online already has one too.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And to that point, uh, that means that Red Dead will also have a Red Dead Online. Uhm, kind of like GTA Online, which makes total sense.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Even though GTA Online has earned a shitload of cash, 1 billion total since its launch according to analyst firm SuperData, which we've cited before and they usually do pretty good and accurate work. So here's a quote, uh, from TweakTown referencing the SuperData. TweakTown. Yeah, TweakTown, uh, the place we all wanna go.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Endless firm SuperData reports, GTA V is the highest earning digital console game of all time, thanks to its hugely profitable add-on content that firms said in a recent market report, with total revenues of $1.4 billion since its release in 2013, 78% of which was earned by add-on content through GTA Online.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, so this, and this is extra interesting. This is a little, this is, I think, something circumstantial that also supports the idea that Red Dead 2 will have an online, and also that these, these rumors might be accurate. Uh, this is from, uh, Take-Two Interactive Chief Financial Officer Lane Goldstein.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] On how long it'll continue this trend of growth. We've included, we've included this moderating this year's guidance. There's some typos in that transcription, but.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And they're saying, because we don't really know, you know, anything can happen. Except what they do know, theoretically, is that Red 2 is going to launch with Red Dead Online. Meaning that I think they know that some of their current active users of GTA Online are going to move over to Red Dead.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Meaning GTA Online's gonna take, it's not gonna grow as fast or plateau, but Red Dead is gonna shoot up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] These things and more are hinted at in the, uh, in the leaks, uh, such as you wanna call them. So, uh, in regards to open world activities, uh, the biggest thing that, uh, that stood out to me is they say you can buy a tent. Like, it's kinda like the apartments in GTA. Except the leaks say it'll be in the open world, and that you'll be able to upgrade it and stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] On one part makes sense, but on the other part scares me. So I've seen what happens when scarcity...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Selling land, digital land to people, that's gonna get really weird and create a pretty toxic environment.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, Final Fantasy XIV. They have like, numbered housing districts, and each district has a specific plot. And there's only so many.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The upside is, you can actually go and see someone else's house. Uh, in GTA Online, they're instanced. So you have to like, be invited into someone's apartment, and then it just calls up your apartment from a database and loads you into that area. But it's not in the world. Uhm, I- It's vaguely worded, but it sounds like-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] According to these leaks, uh, Red Dead 2 tents will be in the world. And like, you know, Ultima Online had this back in the day where they would... You could just plop a house down anywhere.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And on the servers that were really old, there'd be houses everywhere. So there'd be this vast expanse of nothing but houses and houses and houses. Which oddly mirrors the real world in a creepy way.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, so, it's so weird, I was trying to think about this, uh, because the Wright brothers flew a plane long before there were like, commuter planes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I don't, I don't know what that gap was. When could an average person reasonably buy a ticket and fly on an airplane?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We need, we need a word for that. Like of hating the situation you're in, but not really being mad at anyone about it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A very chatty child. And not like- Saw your tweet, yeaah. Despite my tweet, did not scream constantly. I thought it made for a better tweet. Uhm, it's more like every five to ten minutes would just make one burst of noise. And the parents did an amazing job of placating and comforting their child. No arguments there, but still, like, at the exact second that I'm about to drift off, I hear a-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Kamstereese, uh, this is in, uh, the newfangledroosterteeth live chat that some of you have the luxury of enjoying. Eswad! Uh, yea, Kamstereese says, uh, if there's a word for it, German, we'll have it. That language has a word for everything. Welp.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I look forward to it, because if it's German also it'll sound a little mad. And that's kind of what I'm hoping for, phonetically speaking.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But yes, there's more Red Dead Rumors, uh, we can dip back into those. So there's a couple of multiplayer modes they outline. Uh, the Battle Royale mode, which doesn't have a whole lot of, uh, whole lot of details about it, but I think you can probably interpret most of it if you played a Battle Royale game.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Or to revive and survive. This is a competitive mode in which two teams try and kill each other off. And if somebody goes down, you have a limited amount of time to revive them. It kind of reminds me of like maybe a slightly slower paced kill confirmed. Or if somebody goes down. Or Gears, yea. Or Last of Us. Oh yea, Last of Us Multiplayer.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well yeaah, the down mechanic is, yeaah, yeaah. For me it's like, somebody goes down, you can use them as bait, and then there's this cool, like, risk reward aspect of having to revive a teammate.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No one cares about Gears 4, but man, if you get a 1X and a 4K TV, Gears 4 is fucking phenomenal.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] On my way back from flying from another country, while being mildly annoyed by a baby who had no idea what they were doing, all I could do was think about my $5,000 entertainment setup. Uh, so- I bought a 4K TV over the weekend.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Very, very, this TV's fucking huge. Yeah. Uh, damn, I have no segue. Well, there's, well, I mean speaking of, there's an also-mo called Money Grab.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What was it about 90s visual design and just hitting the randomize button on whatever font you were using? Oh, I mean, they drew that by hand. So I don't know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know what? I think it was that there was just a proliferation of computers that could do titling at the time. So they were like, we got all these fonts, let's use every single one!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Good shit! Anyway, uh, more Red Dead rumors. Uh, so, Adam, in regards to your, like, how are they gonna populate the world of good people stuff to do? Yeah. Uh, the notes reference daily tasks, daily objectives, just like in GTA Online.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A couple specific that they reference for traveling a certain distance or murder an enemy with a bow from 100 meters away. So these are things you get, I'm gonna assume, small cash rewards of. Uh, let's see here, you can buy tents, uh, I'm worried about scarcity there, but whatever. They say there will be a companion mobile app, uh, that will have social elements in a poker minigame.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hmm. That was like, that 1e3, and then after that, nothing. Wait, what did Microsoft call it? One screen, one...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] An hour at a time? Well it's also you're looking at your phone because you're bored by what's on the screen. It's not like you're looking at your phone wanting something else that's on your screen. You're looking at it because you're in between fight scenes and you gotta do something to keep yourself occupied.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That reminds me, having watched, uh, National Treasure last night because I was delirious from lack of sleep. As you do. Uhm, I want, Netflix, are you listening? Netflix, please tag movies flip phone. Hashtag flip phone. Cause I wanna watch every movie that has a flip phone in it. That is such a magic window of, of like, culture. Pre iPhone, but after cell phone. What would you call that?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The first Nokia phone with a monochrome graphic LCD.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Dead Eye is making a return, the like slowdown mechanic, except you can also now use it to track bounties, so that could potentially be player characters, maybe NPCs, and detect local fish and wildlife.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's a video game. And then Adam, to something that you were, you were


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Theorizing about. They also mentioned that campaign missions will have different dialogue or different outcomes based on moral actions you take in those missions.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So not quite the, like, separation of decades or anything, but. Sure. Eh, who knows.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It can only be so divergent, really, because if you have to write a story, yeaah. You have to kind of account for all this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] All those branch-offs, but yeaah, so, uh, that are the, those are the high notes of all the rumors. You can look at the, uh, the post yourself. There's going to be a link in the description, because we like to credit all the hard-working journalists out there. Uh, so yeaah, but it's, I mean, uh, the fucking, the math of it adds up perfectly.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The only thing is potentially limited housing. To me, that's like, that's not gonna work.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What I've seen, and I don't know, like I don't have extensive access to Rockstar's analytics. And that's the sort of thing that would tell you, when we unveil this kind of content, this is what we get. So they have their map creator, which is essentially like a sausage factory of quote unquote endless content. But from my perception, what really drives player engagement is introducing things you can buy that cost a shitload of money.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then people go to whatever activity pays out the highest in the game no matter what it is.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, sometimes that's maps. There are a lot of farming maps. But lately it's been different events. Uh, grinding heists was a big thing for a long time. So if Red Dead Fall is the same thing, I don't know that player created maps are as important as Rockstar just adding golden trinkets that people want to run on a treadmill to get. Uh, and...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In a weird way the player base has demonstrated a remarkable resilience to running on a treadmill for a very long time to get a very small shiny thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Doesn't seem to have dipped in popularity, if anything it- No, it's getting- Feels more-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's earning more money. So to that, I mean, Red Dead 1 had like open world activities. You could assault, uh, VOs and hideouts and stuff. I could see them just like, you partner up with four people, it populates an open world.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Let's say you're heisting a train, maybe it finds another group, and says, hey, you've just been awarded a contract by the government, go stop them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So now you have dynamically generated, uh, events that hit player versus player to earn money toward in-game rewards, and you didn't really have to make any content for it. It's all systemic. And that's like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That is, that is music to a game developer's ear. As long as the machine works, you essentially have unlimited money, as long as people are playing your game, and people are gonna play Red Dead online.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So it's, that's, that's, it's funny because I saw that too. That's as much of the money, but it's also the complication of the product they're releasing. It's not necessarily getting bigger.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, and it takes more people and it's more complicated. Bully 2, or sorry, Bully didn't have online multiplayer, it didn't have an ongoing service, it didn't have any of that stuff. So yeah, they can make a game and release it and then make the next one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Same thing happened to Blizzard. They put out World of Warcraft and didn't release another game for like six years. Yes they were making money, but they also had to build up


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, support locations all across the planet. They had to buy servers in multiple countries and scale up the institutions to do that. It's just a complicated game and that's what games are now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Then Horror of the Orient, which I don't think was Rockstar. That wasn't Rockstar. That was Bondi. Post-Rockstar. After they'd done Alien Noir.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So yeaah, and you know, Max Payne is now dormant.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Rockstar bought it. Rockstar always published it though, didn't they? So, Remedy made one and two, Rockstar made three. That's kinda how it goes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do. Yeah, cool shit. Look at him twirling with that stupid pipe. That's right after you get the stick. What? You don't get a stick in Max Payne?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Of course it's porn. Well, the funny thing is fakes have been a thing for a while and they've been Nightmarish. Yeah, it's just been like a floaty face on top of somebody who's getting just just fucked just fucked like crazy


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Now the tech is there, we can do it. Elijah Dushku, wherever you like her. This is something that I had deep thought a while about on DudeSoup about. What happens when you can create like photorealistic porn of a real person who didn't give you authority to do that?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You can't do anything, cause they're just gonna do it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That would be weird, man. You like, dude, you do a, you do a project and then some dude just, just deep gifs or whatever the fuck. How different is that?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, uh, let's say, let's say theoretically and give me, give me some, some, give me some lightning strip here because I got an ad read coming up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, uh, well, okay. I was, I mean, I was gonna say, let's imagine that you've been blackmailed and you have to make it up to your girlfriend. No, that's better. Or significant other. Uh, there's no better way to do that. Can't deep fake this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Or, prevent it. The best, uh, the best, uh, defense is a good offense, they say. So, if you haven't been deep faked yet, you wanna get these berries, you got a good landing pad to land on when those, those gifts start, start hitting. Oh, I gotta click on that. Yeah, keep going. So, uhm, lemme tell you, lemme tell you store of woe.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I gotta, I gotta celebrate her, uh, diplomacy in waiting until after Valentine's Day, that was very smart of you. Maybe you could've done it before and saved me the $50 purchase of some shitty battery PDA, but whatcha gonna do? It was monochrome, I think it had solitaire on it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, but berries are a much wiser investment because somebody might actually eat them as opposed to throwing them in the trash. Like my heart! Uh...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We have a special offer for you guys. If you have a sweetie in your life or somebody you'd like to become your sweetie, getting barriers for them is always a good idea.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, so yea, if, uh, if you're wondering what to get your, uh, your significant other, somebody sweet in your life, or, if, uh, if you just wanna say something nice to a friend, or a close one, or somebody you hope to get closer to, no better way to do that than chocolate-covered berries, because what's more universal than a chocolate-covered berry?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, there's a particular phrase I wanted to relate to you. Verbatim. I don't often read verbatim ad copy, but I wanted to this time. So.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Fresh, juicy strawberries dipped in milk, dark and white, chocolatey goodness, then topped with rich chocolate chips, chopped nuts, and, and this is my favorite, signature swizzles.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So get your signature swizzle today at, uh, 20% off any gift over $29 by going to berries.com. That's B-E-R-R-I-E-S.com and enter our code DUDESOUP at checkout. That's DUDESPACESOUP at checkout for 20% off any order over $29 at berries.com. Thank you, Sherry's Berries.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's hard to eat. Oh man. I'm surprised, we made it a whole week and the berries haven't disappeared. Wow. There's a berry seed in the sauce. Good self control. Well done everybody.