[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it was like that way and then that way. Uh, okay, so who's, who's netting harder? The MarbleLympics or a bunch of dudes who, who industrial rave at their friends' funeral?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I didn't, I didn't dig too hard out of respect for the deceased. Uhm, but hey, whatever. Huh. It's on the internet now. Uh, Adam. Yeah? Where do you fall on this one?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They call him Raven. I'm just saying for you. Every rave is rave having a... my hat. Well, alright, techno funeral takes it. The casket looks open, by the way.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So just as a cutting room floor content, there's a miraculous image that didn't make Harden then, but I really like it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Internet, I just posted somewhere. I was like, that's a funny picture. I'm gonna, I'm gonna save the link to that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I just love how, he already does, he does. I just love how seduct, like it looks like this man is smiling. Like he's, it's pillow talk. Sonic.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Y'all gotta try harder with your damn memes. Damn. You clicked on it. Did you hear that?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I just dropped it. I think you're right Bruce, look. Conquer the hedgehog. Nice.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How come AIDS Belly brings up all these ripped abs? Is that what it's like? Well, you don't want to show them what it really looks like. I guess not. That was a really unattractive bus stop ad.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, we got some merch for you. Underwears, $14.95. Oh, cool! I haven't seen those. Yeah, that's on the store. They're right there. Go get them. You can see there's an ample dick pouch, which means I won't have much use for it, but hopefully you guys will, uh, will find comfort there. We got a Faces tee. That's, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's this one, right here. All your, all your fancy, family-friendly funhouse friends. Right on your shirt. I can't un- I can't unbag this one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] John, Jacob, and Dan. Yeah, it's uh, I dare say that the cartoon versions of them are cuter than us. I agree.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So support our sweet boys, uh, by buying a shirt. $24.95. Both of those, man those look comfy. They're real stretchy. Those are the best kind.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Makes you feel like, uh, you feel like a secret agent and you're strapping up on those guys.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, thanks for listening this week. Uh, boy do I hope.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They will settle on some kind of deal where they can sell a game for 50 bucks or whatever with a shitloads of crap in it. And then just give me the rich old man version.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That just gives me all the stuff. Just let me have the stuff. I want my stuff!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh no. Oh no, I'm so worried about that. Oh man. Bioware's done. I said it. Remember I said that? Brave. Wait, is it? Bioware? Yes. Yeah, it's Bioware. Oh yeah. Yay man, yay once that money. They saw Destiny and their mouths started watering.


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[Assistant] Everyone did. But Destiny doesn't even have, like, cruel microtransaction crap.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well thanks for listening this week, uh, thank you so much to everyone that decided to spend an hour with us and weather the storm, the anal storm that, that we shot upon them. What?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, that I printed off intentionally. How'd you read it? I read that in bed last night. It was a good night time reading.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We'll be back next week with more topical discussion and wonderful good times. Uh, post shows coming up if you're watching live.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We do? Yea. We gotta warm up the audience, guys. Well, Jacob's tired, because he livestreamed for the first time in his life last night, I know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, here's the thing though, online had kind of a cool feature because you could only play it online, right? And if you wanted, if you wanted to just watch people play a game, you could. And now we're doing it, but you have to kind of opt in, whereas online, before I think it was just like, no.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm sure you could opt out if you wanted to, but I think the idea was- Oh, everybody opted out of online. You could just tune in to watch anyone, like, we-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You had no privacy, essentially, where it's just like, yeaah, you just, anyone can watch you play a game, which is like, I don't know if I, sometimes I wonder, I'm like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If I'm just playing a game by myself, if you could have people watch but not interact with you, would you want that?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I wonder if it'll ever go down that road. Like, we'll go back to on live, or are we too, uh, we're too much in cult of personality land.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But he wears glasses. I think it was a Twitch streamer, but it was a guy complaining about because he sh- he has to pay taxes. And that's like, that's always like a revelation for people where they're like, oh yea, you're free money.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That was my first, that was my first major contract job. I edited for a film and they're like, we will pay you X amount of money. I'm like, that's the most money I've ever had in my life. Not realizing that I immediately lost half of it. Oh yeah. And you gotta like be like, well, I guess this notepad did cost me money and I didn't use it for business.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Bruce and I are abstaining. Until PC. Until PC. We're just, so we're, I've been kinda just not looking or watching or anything like that, but I was gonna ask.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is it still all the same enemy types? Cause from when I played in the beta, they didn't add anything new.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Destiny what? Alright, so uhm. Destiny's the hot shit right now because everyone's playing it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The more, the more you went on it, it- Oh, it got better? Yeah, some, some parts, yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] People were saying that, or I think you were telling me at lunch that it like, it reminded you of Halo 3, like the ending. Yea. Or has moments like that where I guess Bungie remembered we're not making a mobile game. We have to, we have to still make a single player experience. Yea.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know what this is? For you guys, this is, uh, this is X-Men Origins Wolverine.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But it just didn't have any of the special effects, and like, people still watched it. That's what you guys are playing right now. You're playing the leaked version of X-Men Origins Wolverine. Was it better? Bruce and I are waiting for the perfect version. Oh, uh, Logan. What? No. It's fine.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, comparing anything to Halo these days feels old. I remember when, what was it, Killzone or any other game that came out, like, is this the Halo killer? Because Halo was put up on this pedestal, like, oh, this is a game to beat.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I mean, it makes sense, right? That Bungie made the...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm curious to see if, when it hits PC, if you see a drop in PUBG. Yeaah. Cause PUBG is the most popular game on PC right now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What's, what's, so from someone, I want to hear from your perspective Lawrence, for someone who's like barely played, what's the story, other than, you lost your light, now you're getting your light back.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, it's also like MMOs, right? Whenever you do something that's meant to be repeated.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Countless times. So that character, Arthas, that you love, that turned into the Lich King or whatever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Afterwards, that's your taking king, right? Yeah, they're like, alright, I'm getting Peter Dinklage.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know, I was gonna say also Destiny was ahead of its time. Yeah. Cause every time everyone tried to describe it, you're like, you gotta play it, you'll see it, you'll see it, and then you got a lot of people who got it, and said, I'm out, I don't want this, and people said, I get it, and I want more of this. And now that,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Other games like Anthem are coming out and there's other kind of copycats looking at Destiny. It's...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think it's more clear that they go, okay, how can we iterate on this idea that now is clear to everyone? Cause they were creating the template for this type of game.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] 69 would be okay, that's just, that's just dick in your face. Well, if you're upside down then your nose is like a hole.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We got enough trees though. This is stupid. Anyway, it's a great game.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's a handgun. Treed. I was just saying it was on screen. You get better stuff in the game.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I can't do anything. I beat it. I'll never denounce anyone for working hard on something and putting it out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I will say, if it's not for me, I'm allowed to do that, but I'll never like, shit on someone and be like, yeah, why'd you do this, waste everyone's time. So no, it's for somebody. I don't know. It's similar to what's kinda happening with the Rick and Morty audience right now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Here we are. There it is. It's growth is continuing. We'll hit that threshold now where, this seems to be a like a flight or flight. Oh, you get a jump. It's a big jump. Fight or flight for a lot of games where a game will be popular because it's popular, and then it will die because it's dead.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I heard it didn't have as too great of a showing, uh, somewhere. Is it Germany or Pax or something, one of those places?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But they said like, it's just running at a very low frame rate and it's, it's, I mean, it's not great on PC right now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It might as well be Minecraft and it still stutters and it pops and it is, uh, yeaah, I tend to like my games to be a bit more polished.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So it's not, it's not, it hasn't really been for me. Uhm, we, when I play with you guys I have fun.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's not even done on PC and they're already putting it on a console.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, bags of money are rolling in, or you have to wait six months. Well, it's like Minecraft, how long did that run on Java?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think it works for that game type, don't get me wrong. Uhm, I'm just...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We talked about this non-stop, but the same thing why I'm waiting for Destiny on PC. I played Destiny on PS4 and Xbox. Made the Switch, uhm...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it still, it still ran. It did the thing where you play with the controller where you don't really aim at what you want.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Destiny. Oh, wow. So, well no, that's what I'm saying. That's why I'm waiting for Destiny on PC because now I played the beta and it's where you aim is where the bolts go, typically.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm saying, I think it, I think that game definitely, I was talking about PUBG, it is a slower game. It's not meant to be fast paced or anything like that. And like, you can play Rainbow Six fast paced. Yeaah, I just wish it was...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This seems to always happen anytime you get into a conflict.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, Bruce and I played a little bit, uh, last week, and, uhm,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's funny, we were doing the long, like, hold it out, stealthy, hold a room.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then, and then I got to the point where I was like, fuck it, let's just go crazy and shoot stuff, and like, just throw all fear at the window, and I got like three kills in a row. And they're like, oh, okay, just wiggle your mouse.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I did this thing when I was in middle school too where I had like a couple friends I'm like we're gonna form a club and then they didn't want to be my friends anymore because it got weird.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh my gosh. Now, is she an import or an export? Uh, or soon to be bald. What do you mean?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's trying to woo her in different ways, like BDSM, hockey.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Damn, that's a shame because that should be our 2017 version of Barbie Girl. And it's not. Or Numa Numa.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's just one of the postcards that we got at RTS. We're like, yea, we just made this for fun.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know if she's, if she'll be, if she's there. You guys can all be in one house.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I just, I thought the whole story was really interesting where an American company is getting mad at a Swedish.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Let's player who's living in London or England dropping a word that is very much frowned upon and


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, has very much negative connotation. So much to the point that they are issuing, issuing a legal takedown of gameplays. I thought that, that to me,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, hey everybody! Hi. Welcome to a locked bowl of dude soup. You paid your 12 bucks, but it comes with a giant cover on it. And you gotta drink 18 other bowls of soup before you get to this one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It'll all make sense soon, I promise. 12 dollars for soup. Yeah, that's a lot of money. What is this, Los Angeles? Hmm, it's close to, no, it's a galaxy far, far away, James.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Booyah, Star Wars, uh. Supors. That's right, I'm your host Lawrence, joined by three, uh, Star Wars experts, some panelists if you will, uh, market, uh, analysis, uh, Adam. Yo.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're ready to go, man, look at them, they're ready to go. Is this game finished? So we're playing, uh, yeaah, look at them, they're moving. So we're playing Star Wars Battlefront 2, uh, which I have access to because I paid money, uh, and, uh, this will become more important later, but, I bought EA Access, so that gave me a 10 hour trial, uhm. Can you turn down a little bit? Yea, sure. That's very loud.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, so you'll be hearing some, some laser pew pews and stuff in the background. The comforting sounds of Star Wars. Also the sound of cash registers is going crazy. Speaking of, this podcast is brought to you by two sponsors, Dollar Shave Club and Stitch Fix. You can get your Dollar Shave Club starter kit for only five dollars. It actually includes a number of


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Find, uh, hygienic products at dollarshaveclub.com slash dude.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And you can go to StitchFix.com slash Dude Soup to get 25% off your Stitch Fix box if you decide to keep all the items in it. More information on those offers in a minute.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] First up. I'm just gonna hide here. Yeah, so let me uh, let me tab out real quick, I gotta scroll down some. That's fine.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Let's see my notes here. Star Wars games are dead, ladies and gentlemen. Uhm.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, yes, to some degree I am playing into the anger and hysteria over Battlefront 2 loot boxes and unlocks. I'll go through that in detail in a moment.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, uh, we, we kinda have a legacy on this show of maybe being anti-consumer or, uh, contrarian, I think is probably the nicer word for it. No longer! Uhm, no, we are, we are full sycophant mode today. Uh, so, yeah, it's, I'll go through the details in a minute.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, it's not great, uh, it certainly doesn't make me want to play the game. But even on top of that, uh, some of the industry analysis about how we got here and, like, where the money's flowing and what that means and what Disney's corporate culture is, all that stuff kinda adds up to a pretty bleak future for Star Wars games or licensed properties in general.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think what we're seeing with Battlefront 2 can also be linked to some of the stuff we've seen with Shadow of War.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Or other, uh, kind of world-ending properties and how they interact with capitalism, basically.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're onto something, uhm, that's a little more big picture, uh, first. Oh yeah, and then, so, after we get through all the kind of explanation of where we are and how we got here,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'd like to offer, uh, you guys some tips about if you're, if you're second to death of all these loot boxes and loot crates and monetization schemes and all. There are some things you can do, and there are, there are products you can enjoy that are out, and I think coming out in greater, greater volume, but maybe, maybe not Star Wars specifically or anything like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, so let's, let's talk about where we are now. Uh, how familiar are you guys, uh, with the current debacle about, uh, Star War, or Battlefront 2 Unlocked?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, the uh, Battlefront 2 is setting records, ladies and gentlemen.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Jakuz! Jakudery. Uhm, now you get to see all these cool people. Uhm, good job, Ilforma. It's just the same guy. Almost swept the whole fucking thing, yea. This has been my experience in Battlefront, is that there's one player who's just a god on the battlefield.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Potentially, uhm, in my, from what I've seen there are people who get a hero character and they're good at playing that hero so they never die. They're just in outs, they're doing one-offs and picks where they don't really lose much life. They stay as a hero the entire match and they just, they run everything. So, okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Here is what we're looking at. It's the collection screen on Battlefront II. You can see some of these heroes are locked.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Chewbacca's locked, Vader's locked. How do you unlock them? You do that with in-game currency, credits. So Vader takes 60,000 to unlock. Okay. How many do you have? I have 1,550.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And that's, so you get credits through just game time spent. Yes, it's maybe six hours of play would you say? Uh, well, so it's, it amounts to something like a thousand, a thousand and change credits, and actually somebody on Reddit did all the math, and I'll get to that in just a second.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But, uh, so, so, such, uh, such Star Wars legends as Bossk are available to start. Oh, of course, everyone's favorite character from...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The giant ice cream maker. Dax and Biggs or whatever. I love that guy, hold on. Boss and Dugnut. Yeaah. What's that guy's name?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's e-he's even got like a Woodrow Hood-Wilburrow Hood, that's it. Yeah. Yeah. People cosplay as him. Yeah, they do.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sure, why not? Uh, so the problem is, two of the most notable characters in all of Star Wars, Luke Skywalker and Darth Vader, are both locked, even if you bought the game, even if you bought the expensive version of the game, which is another way people are playing it now, if you buy the $80 version you get early access, if you have EA access you get early access, whatever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And here's how credit earning breaks down. You can't buy credits. You can buy crystals that let you get crates. And crates sometimes have credits in them. So you can't even drop money directly to unlock a character. You have to buy a thing which lets you buy a thing which lets you buy a random thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Reddit user TheCratos, uh, did an entire mathematical breakdown of everything everything costs and how long it would take to unlock. It's pretty impressive. Uh, the math basically checks out from what I've played. So there is one thing that you didn't account for, which is kind of fine. The game has challenges, so it's like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, this is complete all the multiplayer milestones. Uh, this is play a match of Galactic Assault. You do that, you get a reward. I just got 500 credits for doing that thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, uh, there's only so many of those though, and those are not factored into the unlocks, because I think the presumption is you'll either use those unlocking the basic hero cards, or that it's such a, an unquantifiable amount that it's not really factored in. Right. Uh, so, by the math, uh, ooh boy. Oh wait, Chewbacca's locked out, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, so, so real quick, uh, the, the estimates for heroes, there are 14 infantry heroes, 9 cards, 9 starfighter heroes, 9 cards, tells 207 cards, cards are also like ability modifiers, and if you want to max them out, anyway, um, upgrading these will take, uh, require opening, blah, blah, blah, 126 hours to max out a single hero, um, final cost, if you were to unlock everything in the game and level everything up,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, j-j-j-600 credits, creator crate, oh my god. Okay, opening the 3111 loot crates requires 248,880 crystals. If you only purchase 100 crystal packs, the cost is $2,100. Uhm, let's see, I don't-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] From the open beta and other adjustments made to milestone rewards before launch.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is probably how the conversation went. It's an evaluation of what they lose by doing this versus what they stand to gain. And I guarantee you they knew it would be a problem. They knew from their most engaged and core audiences they would hate it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But they're not operating in that realm anymore. And this is something that I'll get to a lot later, but the, the math at play is so far beyond, it's so far beyond the people that get mad at a Reddit thread. Maybe not now, maybe it is actually hitting that point where the core audience is starting to, to speak to the broader audience and they're kind of connecting on certain things.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So the way the game works is you play and you get points for shit you do, killing people, defending points. You spend those points on spawning in as a specialty character, either a super rebel man with a jet pack or a hero. And yes, on this screen, you can see all of the heroes every time you spawn. Look what you can't have. And even if you played well,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Um, the armchair developer's on this internet. Period. Yeah, that was it. Um, he, um, Matt Everett, gentleman's name, he later tried to walk it back, uh, quote my tweets earlier, had nothing to do with community remarks or topics within or about Star Wars Battlefront 2.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I made a tweet about a general thing, and people claim I am speaking about my games community complaints. Hashtag disheartening, hashtag frustrated. Sorry to those who think it was about Star Wars, uh, continues. I removed those tweets as hordes of angry gamers were being told I was speaking about them were upset. I get that, but someone misinterpreted my tweet.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I again apologize for that, but it was not my intent. Trust me, I'm in bat for this community and game slash franchise I love.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, fucking, there are armchair doctors that diagnose us every time we say our elbow hurts. That stuff kinda happens. Uh, one, don't say that stuff. That was, Matt, you could be a cool dude, but that was kinda dumb, man. Uhm, Angry Joe did defend him, though.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Angry Joe said quote, I saw some angry reddit, uh, post Sledgehammer70, guys lay off. Uh, that's his Twitter handle by the way. Don't know what his tweet was referring to, but Matt is one of the good ones at EA. He cares about our feedback and has helped me get in front of the developers multiple times when he didn't have to. Good dude.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, there you go, Mr. Joe Vargas vouching for the quality of this gentleman's character. But yes, Elise, I absolutely agree. Uhm, I think it's fine to love Star Wars. It's fine to want a Star Wars video game the way you want it. It's not fine to personally insult or even threaten someone's health or safety because you're mad that you can't play as Darth Vader. Uhm.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That is the clea- superminority. Uhm, a lot of people I think are justifiably and fairly...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It absolutely does. Actually Galaxy of Heroes Unleashed system is pretty similar to Marvel Puzzle Quest. Yeaah. That there are multiple versions of every character. You can get some of the film favorites pretty quickly. Uhm, but then it's got a really prolonged like grinding leveling system.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That uh, that contributes to the escalation of like a multiplayer match too. So the design is actually pretty solid. It starts off-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I understand. At least it's a single player. So uh, sorry to interrupt, but uh, we do have one box that won't let you down. Always gives you value for your money, and that's the Dollar Shave Club Starter Box. Boom. Five dollars, which actually is way cheaper than any of the crates in Battlefront 2.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, I think you can actually buy crystals for five bucks. They should put that on the box. Yea, you don't get nearly the return on investment you do with Dollar Shave Club. Uh, the kit comes with shave butter, body cleanser, uh, butt wipes, the One Wipe Charlies, which are wonderful. If you've never, if you've never treated your anal opening to a nice refresher of mint,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And you can do that for only five dollars. And you get that and more. You get the executive razor, a, uh, like a pack of four razor heads. It's actually a pretty ridiculous deal to just give you a little sample of all the, uh, the...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, just go to dollarshaveclub.com slash dude and you get the starter kit for five bucks. Uh, that's razor wipes, uh, body cleanser, uh, shave butter, which is actually great. That's clear. So you can get a pretty precise shave. If you're worried about not having your, uh, your sideburns the right length, worry no longer.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, once more, that's dollarshapeclub.com slash dude, for a great package of cleaning products. Yeah, I finally used one of those One Wipe Charlie's and it was a, it was an experience. I felt like I was, I felt like I was being pampered. Yes, that's, that's the word I would use.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No wipes? Yeaah. You can't get off. You haven't lived until you've had a clean asshole. All day. All day. So thank you Dollar Shave Club for the sponsorship. Uhm.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's uh, hey, and at least on this podcast we're, uh, 100% explicit about where our money comes from.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, so yes, we are heroes. Or are we? So you, uh, you guys are starting to hit on the, the business implications of it. Uhm, and I, I have some notes here about, about how this happened. And basically where we, oh Jesus. The game heard us talking shit. They found us, they found us out. I mean, try, try to go back to multiplayer? Maybe it's just one thing?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You can do the Starfire one. I guess we can always do Arcade, yea. There's also ships. Uhm. Alright, so, uh, EA signed an exclusive deal back in 2013 with Disney. Uh, the terms were not disclosed, so we don't know how much money EA had to pay for that license, but it was probably a shitload of cash.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How much blood? Virgin blood. How many EA developers had to die to bring you Battlefront 2?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, in the meantime, uh, since then, Disney has done some things in the gaming space that I think...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] portray or, or paint a picture of how they view the space and the kind of revenue expectations they have for the space.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Which is to say that they haven't done a single thing yet in games that they found that earned them enough money. They keep shutting down game studios. That's the thing, they completely closed Interactive Studios, which was all of their video game development.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, they co-closed Disney Infinity, which was still earning money when they closed it, but not enough. Uh, they closed Visceral Games, or rather EA closed Visceral Games that was in the process of making a Star Wars single-player game.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm gonna presume because there was no way that game was on projections to make nearly the amount of cash EA needed it to make to justify the amount of money they paid for Star Wars. Uhm, so,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The... I think that constructs a bit of a narrative that Disney is a company.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, they wanna own everything around it. So they're not gonna make a movie if they're not making the number one movie in the world. They're not gonna make a game unless it's the number one game in the world and that is defined by revenue. At least as far as I can tell from Disney's standpoint. Uh, granted there is also a creative aspect to it. They're not just shitting out uhm, you know, they could shit out movies but they try to make them good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But they also expect those things to perform and if they don't, they get closed. Uh, so now...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because of that, I expect EA paid a massive amount of money for the Star Wars license, expecting that exclusivity would drive a lot of money to them. I think Battlefront did drive an amount of money, but not enough, which is prompting them to be a lot more, a lot more vicious internally about the projects they greenlight and the monetization hooks in those projects. Uh, let's see here.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It says Battlefront, uh, hit 14 million. That's circa 26- May 2016. Wait.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, which is a lot, but I still don't think that's what they were hoping. Battlefront 2 will probably sell more?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Luke, Luke, Luke, Luke, Luke! We're looting, we're looting, you guys. Uhhh, Speeder. Hey, you got a Luke Skywalker.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I got Kylo Ren's. Harshpull. Harshpull. Actually, I think that's pretty rare. I think that's a 5% drop rate for those. Whatever, who cares? Uhm, and then... I'm the best. So just to put things in perspective, because...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It is enough, but not for EA, not for Disney. Let me make that clear. I'm not saying that, like, they're starving. This is greed to the extent that every company needs to earn as much money as they can in the space they're in. That's just how the system works. Uhm, so, this was November 1st, by the way, so this is before all this stuff blew up. This is a post on CNBC, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Electronic Arts put out their Q4 guidance, which is say, here's all the money we expect to make in Q4. And it was lowered. It was like 5% lower than it was originally estimated to be.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And this is, and there was some commentary from market analysts that accompanied that announcement. And a bit of a stock dip, not much. By the way, a lot of people are attributing that to the current, the current controversy. This stuff happened like a week and a half ago.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Fiscal third quarter EPS, uh, estimates reflecting some expense timing shifts in lower margin licensed titles such as Star Wars. And then another analyst quote, If Star Wars can encourage users to spend real money on virtual goods like FIFA, the game could drive meaningful upside to fiscal year 2018 and 19 EPS, but this is not a certainty. So,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Even if your perception as a gamer is that, is that this is stupid and EA would have made enough money just selling it without all these hooks, the, uh, analysts and the money,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Put it more on stuff like FIFA, whereas like, uhm...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Whereas an internal, an internally owned thing like FIFA can just make shitloads of cash, and they also have a lock on that license too. By signing an exclusive deal, it seems pretty clear to me that EA wanted to convert Battlefront into being one of those evergreen...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cash cow properties like FIFA Ultimate Team. And this is how they're trying to do it. Or it's a way that they're trying to angle on it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I just saw this. Hold on a sec. We're gonna get shot a little bit. This is breaking news. Change of constant in Star Wars Battlefront 2. Uh, since the start of the project, we're listening to you bleer, bleer, bleer, bleer. Oh, this is officially from EA.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And if it's too high, we can always adjust it down and then we get to play it off like we're listening and we're paying attention and we care. Meanwhile, it was all just a play to see if they could maintain a higher price point in the first place.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Anyway, thank you, thank you Parker Drew, or Parker Dew for that hot tweet. Thank you. Uhm, it's...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, like I said at the beginning, I personally have the tendency to be like, y'all people bitch too much when it comes to games and stuff, but I think this situation was kind of justified, and god I wish it didn't take the uprising of an entire subreddit group of people. There's so many more important things. There's so much strength on the internet.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I got this, is this what you're looking at? That could work too. So 25,000.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Everybody went onto it so, uh, me IRL and then somebody just posted a down finger and got negative 25. Nice. Okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The next one is a League of Legends pose. So again, gaming. Somebody, somebody said some shit about a League of Legends player. Ohhhh, damn. What about your legacy?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But somebody was basically like, yo, I'm just speaking as a person, uh, I don't speak on behalf of Riot, I don't know, everybody dog piled. Okay. Political views from Jill Stein, and I AMA, which is pretty nice. See, now that's, oh yeah, I remember this one, I remember reading this. Mhm.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's some other kinda cooler, less heady topics, but I guess, sadly the thing I take away from this, and this is kind of depressing, is that a property like Star Wars, the way it operates in our capitalist society, there's no reason for anyone to make a game that's not like this about Star Wars. Why would you make a kind of game that has


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That has a, any kind of lower earning potential than you could possibly make with it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We did it everybody. Except the unlock system is still there. So they just shifted the numbers. And it's, I think to your guys' point about retaining players, they're gonna f-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They don't have to put out a product and walk away. They can, they can tweak the knobs at any point in the game's life cycle to try and...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Keep people playing, and keep siphoning money out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well if you wanna, we have yet another loot crate service for you that is guaranteed to surprise and delight, and that is Stitch Fix.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, so Stitch Fix is a closed by mail service, but it's tailored. So essentially, when you fill out your profile, you go in and put in all your measurements, and then you'll basically like do a cool little, uhm, quiz to sort of determine what your tastes are, what kind of fashion you like. So you're like, oh I like that button up, not so into that polo.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then uhm, and then you're assigned a custom stylus that will pick out clothes for you. And then if you, they'll send you a box with all of those items and then up to five.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Or five items. And then, uh, you just keep the ones you want, you send the ones you don't back, they'll bill you for the ones that you keep. And then, if you want, you can order another one, and as time goes by, by what you keep and by a little survey, you can either choose to fill out or not. You can leave little notes, and then over time your stylist will grow to understand the kind of clothes you want, the kind of fits you like, the kind of colors you like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then it'll get more and more custom to you as you continue to use the service. It's pretty cool. It's like, uh, closing the future.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Where somebody far more talented than I can dress me. I can look pretty good. And uh, I don't have to see anyone. Well, the internet's great that way. So you can, you can get great styles and modern looks right to your door without having to go to a store and a-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Make it, uh, make it known that you have no idea what you're talking about. I'm speaking from experience, by the way. Uh, this is not an indictment of the audience. Merely just a reflection of my failures as a sartorial individual. Uh, you can get started now at, uh, stitchfix.com slash dudesoup. And you get a 25% discount if you decide to keep all the items in your box. So, yeaah, it just may shake out to where...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You wanted to keep all four, but those socks, maybe you didn't want the socks, but if you keep them, it actually ends up being cheaper, so you get socks and a discount. Good stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, once more, that's stitchfix.com slash dudesoup. Thanks for the sponsorship. Thanks for the service. I think I'm about due. I, uh, I usually get one every couple of months, cause it can be a little pricey, but, you know, good things are pricey. So it's not necessarily an every weekend kind of thing, but I think it's about time. I think it's about time to order another one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So uhm, sorry, that was my bad. Uh, as, I wanna offer some amount of advice to, if you're out there and you hate loot boxes, you hate microtransactions, you hate games as service type stuff,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You don't have to play these games. Uh, if you want to play Star Wars, you probably don't have a choice, which is kind of why the games that- the games in the way that you want them, as far as Star Wars is concerned, that shit may be well-sailed.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] For me, uhm, I wasn't gonna, this is gonna sound weird, I wasn't gonna play Battlefront for the multiplayer anyway. I'm into the campaign, and maybe the co-op stuff I'll play with my girlfriend. I might play an hour or two of multiplayer, but it's not, it's not, this isn't my thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's just, it's so chaotic and so wild and random, and yea, the unlock stuff does not help at all. So whatever, I th- I th- I would pay 60 bucks for a campaign.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it's got it in there. So uhm, as somebody who likes single-player, more crafted challenges than just throwing you up against a shitload of other dudes who have been playing this game way longer than I have.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm, I'm in it for that. And I actually, so they give you the first three, three level, give you, you get to play the first three levels through EA Access and I did that. I had, I really enjoyed it. I'm waiting for the game to come out so I can play the rest of it, but.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm not into this unlock thing. And I'm not, I'm not that consumer and never was. That's a whole other class of people who play games. Feels like there's so many other options out there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's the other thing. Uhm, so in terms of those other options, I have a few recommendations. If you want a single-player experience, or even a multiplayer experience that, that doesn't do unlocks in this way, here's a little list I jotted down, and these are all or mostly


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, 28- 2017 releases. There's Hellblade, Echo, uh, Dusk, Wolfenstein 2, Persona 5, Mario Odyssey, uh, Nioh, Nier Automata, Zelda Breath of the Wild, and Final Fantasy XV. Those are all games that offer great single-player or...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, continuing experiences that don't have such kind of a weird and, and just soul sucking, uh, criteria for unlocking new stuff. So there you go.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I mean you can still see some evidence in that where yeah, there's a social space and there are like challenges geared around watching other people open loot crates. That's kind of weird. It's crazy. There's a crazy


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Suck your entire life away. I was actually, I was thinking about this, how there is a whole class of game


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That is engineered to burn time in the least obvious ways. To me Ubisoft is kind of particularly guilty is a tough word, but they've certainly pioneered


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's, it's weird because the conversation, I, sometimes people will just kind of conversationally ask me, you know, what about, what about this game, do you think it's a failure? And I'm like, well, it came out two months ago, and maybe nobody's talking about it now, but that doesn't make it a failure.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And the, yeah, the mentality seemed to shift from, a game is fun and it was worth the money I paid for it, therefore it's a good product, to, I can't play this until I die, therefore it's a bad product. Uhm, games like Overwatch and stuff kinda set the bar really high in terms of,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, I don't know, do you guys, do you guys shed a tear? So let's presume, oh there's, there's boss again. This is every fucking game by the way, somebody gets a hero, they hang onto it, and then they sweep the entire area.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So let's, let's, uh, let's presume for the sake of, for the sake of argument that my prediction is correct. I mean, we don't have to presume, let's presume. Uhm, that


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The system such as it is, there's no reason for a game dev to make a game about a big property like this, without all this crappy monetization hookery in it. Uhm, are you guys upset that there-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, for me, I just, I find it fascinating, understandable, and a little bit sad to see, uh, see companies just like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] With that, I think James you, you said it pretty well that like the game type doesn't jive with the kind of unlocks they're trying to shove at you. So that's a bummer. It's a bummer to think about what Battlefront 2 could have been or what the multiplayer experience could be like. Cause yeah, man, it's cool to think about.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Listen, everyone gets a Luke Skywalker. But it's maybe it's the boner Luke Skywalker from episode 4. And if you want cool Jedi Skywalker from Return of the Jedi, you gotta play Luke.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, I don't know, 10 hours or something like that. It was dumb, but, and I know that that stuff has gameplay implications, like, oh, everybody's gonna, everybody's gonna play in a dumb way and try to earn points to like, get to Luke early so they can unlock it first, but at least they're playing the game type because you get points by playing, so, I don't know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well yeaah, I, yeaah, it's a bummer. Uhm, this is, this is what games are now though.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's just like yawning, it's just as, uh, as infectious. Oh, in terms of time?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Go on a rant. I don't wanna rant. I gotta, no, do it. I gotta, oops, sorry. Shit. Fuck, I'll just do it here. Uhm, gotta pick out a hard-nitting candidate. Oh yea, yea, yea. Do this before the podcast starts.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, I got a list. It's not hard to just pick one out of there. I try to save particular, uh, entrance for particular people.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I just, uh, I upgraded my computer. Got a hot new, uh, hot new processor in there. It's got six cores now. 8700k, baby. I can do everything with that computer, that's right.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I do. I'm on the cusp. I'm 150, no, 254, something like that. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, don't acknowledge the children. No, don't acknowledge them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Not even that. Here, I'll do one of these. Cause they could, they know. So you just do that. Not that that does anything, but.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Something. What's something? Yeah, yeah. Get rid of the shitheads. One can try. We can try.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes, so let me get out of this. Let me get out of this here. Uhm, I think here. I'm trying to think of how to pull this up. Okay, maybe I can just search YouTube for it. All my links are in another thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, it's okay. I refreshed my memory. MarbleLympics is still winning, right? Yep. Yes. Okay, good. I was, I was, uh, freaking out there for a second. Almost got her.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, the Marble Masters, MarbleLympics is, uh, still in the lead here.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Banner event, the opening ceremonies, the running of the funnels, uh, wonderful, many events stretched over multiple days, multiple weeks even, to determine the best marbles. Uh, great, great little thing, uh, we're gonna put it up against Super Saiyan 3, the series, uh, episode 3, Let the Fight Begin, Dragon Ball, uh, ZSS3. Thank God for After Effects.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is this just like a comedy channel? Uh, I mean, I wouldn't necessarily call it comedy, this is pretty serious.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is a, this is a, listen, fair use doesn't protect everything James. That's what the internet will tell you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I hope so. Am I hired? Oh, it's Mask, uh, Maskaroshi.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He is Italian, right. I know that. That's a text, uh, text template in Premiere. Nice job.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, p-p-pass judgement. Uh, MarbleLympics vs. Salvo LaMonica in Super Saiyan 3, the series, episode 3, Let the Fight Begin, Dragon Ball Z, SS3.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, interesting. Aw, I'm sorry, Elise. You've been pummeling your insides trying to get those, those, uh, hiccups to go away. James, what do you think? You know, I'm gonna- Ow!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's as far as I got. How am I gonna see the, oh, how am I gonna see the, uh, look, he even put a hair on the three. Hey, he's using Comic Sans. Comic Sans.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, what a, what an upset. What an up, uh, boy. I really thought Dragon Ball was gonna put up a harder fight than that, pun intended. Uh, that'll do it for this week's doodoo podcast. You'll never go to Mars. What? I'm trying to scare her. Oh. Is it working? You will go to Mars.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hopefully, uh, even though I think it's a bit of a downer that Star Wars games will probably never be the same. Wait till that Battle Royale Star Wars game. Someone's gotta be making it already. Yeah. That'll happen. Um, eh, it's the world. But hey, the good news is there are more games now than ever. And depending on what game you like, you can probably find it, even if it doesn't have Star Wars on the cover. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But thank you guys for listening. Uhm, if you're listening live, we have the Dutsu Postcode show coming right up. If you're, uh, listening maybe through the podcast feed or on YouTube, consider checking that out. But it is behind a paywall, like all good things. As Star Wars says, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] As proven to us, it is for first members only, which also allows you to watch the show live.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You must watch someone else listening to Dude Soup. You have unlocked one star Elise. Hiccup Elise.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, thanks everybody. Uhm, again, we'll be right back if you're watching live. If not, thank you so much for joining us this week. If you enjoyed the show, uh, felt that it raised interesting points or maybe gave you some information you didn't have before.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you don't have time for that, just listening is enough. I appreciate that too. So thank you guys. Uh, I will not, I will not leave a tweet about armchair, uh, podcast, uh, producers. I can promise you that. Unless I do.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, it was, listen, it was some other podcast, right? It was one I did years ago. I really wish you guys wouldn't just misinterpret my tweets.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We'll be back next weekend. Stay tuned to that post show if you want to. Bye!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is the kind of capture we would have done for GTTV, very cinematic, just trying to smooth capture.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Take this for what you will, Bone says webcam ratio is switched.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then you fall in love with one. You got catfished by a bot?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Lawrence raised the allegory of the cave comparison. We're in some real Plato shit right now. Yeah, so Plato's allegory that if a bunch of people are looking at shadows, they've never seen the sun, they've never seen another individual, but they're looking at shadows and that's their reality, their perceived reality. Does that make it any less true? That's their truth.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So if your truth is you think you've been playing with these, these people, but they're actually bots,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We're still choosing to play these games, nobody's holding a gun to our heads, so should we feel like there's some injustice being done to us?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And we get, I mean, maybe 30 years from now we get into Blade Runner territory where, what, what,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What is artificial intelligence? What is human? And we're playing against the bots, but...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] See, that's, I think that's where I would draw the line ethically, if they're cloning your gamer tag and putting you in as an AI against other people. And there's some recognition where people see you playing and you're bad, but it's not you. For me, if they cloned my tag and I was really good, I'd be fine with that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Let's add another layer. You come to me and you say, at least I really want to be part of this program.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And this is the way it works. I help you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, what happens is they do like an eternal sunshine of the spotless mind thing where you do it and then they wipe your memory.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right out the gate. It's a FPS and the F is for flesh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, page 46. Uh, there's a new show about a guy who uses Facebook. It's called Everybody Friends Raymond.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was so disappointed. I spent three days at Disneyland and never saw Mickey Rooney.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I love him. This is actually a great one from page 102. I always wondered what the cops would do if I ran away from them. I was stunned.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, I wanna apologize for something. I just made this joke in bad taste now saying that Joe retired and that's why he started making his videos.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In his forward, which I'm reading now, I do see that he lost his job of 17 years testing accounting software. And that has given him the time to produce his videos. He lost his job.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Too many laughs. So I, yeah, that was, that was in bad taste and, uh, I'm glad that you're, that you're out there making these, these, uh, things for the world.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Have you guys imagined a fuckbot uprising like the matrix though? What happens if the fuckbot you love kills you?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You mean, was it Bush Axe or whatever? Use Bush Axe.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, yeaah, and it's also, like he said before, it is the same game. I think it's pretty neat that he was able to get that much mileage out of it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] To be honest, he sold, it sounds like almost 2 million copies total.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And that's an accomplishment. I mean, absolutely. That developer really has been busting his ass. And I get it. I understand why he's like, you know, like, I gotta move on and do something different. Sure. Adam, you gotta dodge. It just says dodge. No you're not.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, obviously he's willing to license it out because he's been selling it and stuff like that, like in Party City, but yeah, that's a good idea.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, cause he was at least trying to, you know, like, build a universe around something he thought was popular.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Was planning that, like, for the first game or not. I doubt it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's like when we were trying to sell chaser shirts. Oh boy. I remember we were thinking about the Mars property shirts and, uh, like we passed around the office, we were thinking like, well what happens if like, you know, like chaser license comes after us and I was like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Tweet at. Someone did. Yea, they did, they did. Oh, they did? The Mars property one recently, and I was like, holy shit, I forgot about that shirt. Yea. So did, uh, the Chaser devs.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was something, something just as dumb as Punkbuster. Yeaah. Uh, but yeaah, Adam, you're right. Punkbuster's just been this weird, you never knew who was maintaining it, what they were doing with it, or what games would have it, and all of a sudden it's like, you download Battlefield 4, like a pretty new game, and it's like, Punkbuster, and you're like, what the hell? Where did this come from?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm not accountable because, uh, this was a work-related injury. So, if it were me at home, working out like that chick, and you know, like again, like I was doing a stretch or something and I turned around and my dick popped out, that would be my fault. Because that was on my own twitch time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Did they think people wouldn't see that? I think so. Oh my god.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so that's what I'm trying to say is that they should confirm that. They should say, this is on a PC debug system. And then that way it doesn't matter where it goes, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Fuck no, we gotta make a game. Fuck off. Fault still lies with PlayStation though. They should have done those checks before they put the video up. That's true. Um, I mean like, it's, cause you're right, it is a lot of work. That's their job.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That was just- Those trolls. So the trolls versus, uh-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think at this point my vote is educational, but I'm still voting for the woman who shot her boyfriend. Okay. That is super hard netting.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, I am, I am your host, Lawrence Nantek. I'm joined in a- and sequentially across the couch, James Wilms, how are you? Hi, Upright Monkey James Wilms. Uh, thoroughly distracting, uh, guest, Elise Willems.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wait, so was that faithfully in the movie or did they cut it out because of censorship?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm curious. So, the, the, it seems the going thing in internet culture is if it disagrees with your worldview, then it is a lie and has been made up. Uhm, so,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Let's say somebody makes a 9-11 film where the terrorists, I don't know, in a grand twist of what is true, they actually did blow up buildings with airplanes and it wasn't a government plot. I know it's wild, but just follow me on this one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, what if Michael Bay made the coolest fucking 9-11 movie you've ever seen? With like, rad American dudes who are roided out and shooting shit, and there's like, rap metal playing, while they're repelling down buildings and killing guys. Except it was totally terrorists, not the government like it actually was.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There we go. There it is. This podcast is sponsored by movement and jersey mics. You can get 15% off of your movement order today with free shipping and free returns by going to movement.com slash dudesoup.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And you can get 10% off your Jersey Mikes order when you order online at JerseyMikes.com slash Dude Soup.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wow. That's uh, cause man, those dude's views are hurtin'. I gotta capture that, this American Lifeline. Don't worry.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, uh, in a quest for a solid dude soup title, I found a story about Washington passing strict, uh, distraction driving laws, which they call EDUIs, which is the harshest thing to say in the world. EDUIs. Electronic driving under the influence. Oh, electronic driving.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, so this is in Washington state. Starting today, drivers caught holding a cell phone or any other electronic device while stopped at a red light or an intersection will be subject to a hundred and thirty-six dollar fine under Washington's strict new E-D-U-I law. The fine for repeat offenses within five years is two hundred and thirty-four dollars. So that's not using, that's just holding. Is that a moving violation? Do you have to go to traffic school for it? No, uh, I don't know. Probably, right? I don't think so. You're at a stoplight. Yeah, I don't know. But you're in a moving car.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, uh, so yeah, California passed a similar law starting in 2017. Uh, you're not allowed to use your phones while driving unless they're using a hands-free device or voice-operated commands. This is in the state of California. Uh, new law also, and this is via KCRA, the new law also calls for phones to be mounted to the windshield or a dashboard for drivers planning to use them on the road.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, my question for you guys is, do you think, do you think it's possible to fight driving distracted? Do you think it's a problem in the first place? And do you think it's something that can't even be curbed by law?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's possible that distracted driving isn't nearly as bad as it's pretended to be. And for that I have some stats from the NHTSA, the National Highway Traffic and Safety Administration.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In 2015, 3,477 people were killed.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] 9,557 people were killed in speeding-related injuries, which is triple. And then 10,265 people were killed in alcohol-impaired crashes. This was in 2015.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So compared to those two things, distracted driving has a way smaller death toll.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Which is still important. So this is just injuries, not necessarily damage. In 2015 there were 391,000 distracted driving injuries compared with total 2.4 million. All injuries total. So let's divide that out here.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well I'm gonna, I'm gonna collect what you guys have said and put it in stronger language because we need controversy god damn. Alright, let's do it. Oh shit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, it sounds like, correct me if I'm wrong here, it sounds like you and I would agree with this that


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cell phone usage in cars is too widespread, too ubiquitous now to throw a $100 fine thing that you could curb or control it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Distracted driving is just something we have to deal with until cars are smart enough to drive themselves. It is.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, we have to put our, uh, we have to put our thesis to your test. I think we have collectively come to the decision that distracted driving as a concept is just something we're going to have to survive until cars are smart enough to take over for themselves. Do you agree or do you think the menace of distracted driving can be fought with laws and regulations?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Let's say, and it's not true at all, but let's say the choice being forced upon us is manual drive cars, the freedom of controlling the car yourself, or a cool device with a lit up screen that can play Candy Crush. Do you feel like the trade is worth it given that that's inevitably where it's gonna go?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You could be on your phone, but then what's the point? Alright guys, well thank you for weighing in. Thank you for validating all of our conclusions. Appreciate it. You can get back to your phone, Candy Crush.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, over that, ooh, yeaah, that rides the line. Boy, we're in a weird period of transition. But this podcast is sponsored by Movement Watches. Uh, they've been, they've featured on this podcast a number of times.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They, uh, instead of featuring the product, I'll feature the story behind the product. So, movement. Uh, they actually got on a phone call with us and we're going, uh, one of the owners of the company was talking about how it was his, his desire and his dream to make watches for people. Stylish watches that are affordable. Uh, two broke college kids, they refer to themselves.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We want people to wear nice watches, but can't afford them. Kind of in the same way that that American can-do spirit can do anything, even including ramming into somebody because you're too busy using your American design device, playing your American apps.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, that's just like this watch, which you can avoid running into somebody by wearing it. That's my promise to you. Uh, they have sold over 1 million watches in over 160 countries, which is a pretty great scoreboard. And you can get 15% off your watch today with free shipping and free returns by going to movement.com slash dudesoup.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] One note about the website, it is MVMT, they just dropped all the vowels. So it's movement.com slash dudesoup. And you can also check the link in the description for that, for that discount. So thank you movement for your sponsorship, keeping our roads safe. Bit of a tenuous link there, but it made it anyway.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Speaking of giant train wrecks, or car wrecks I should say. You guys caught up on Pokemon Go? Pokemon Go Fest?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was, uh, it's kind of like Minecon or what have you. It's supposed to be a giant festival for Pokemon Go players. They were going to have, like, unique Pokemon that you could catch there. Talk about future. Hold on. So Bobvids made a cringe compilation, which are my favorite kinds. And there's one magic moment I want to share with you guys.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] of throwing to a DJ, he responds via record scratch and then shoots double guns and that's it. And it's even, you know, it's even better when there's some mic feedback in there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, yeah. Because, uh, because due to that, they have tried to make good immediately. Oh yeah, so that's another, there's another hot minute here, hold on.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This was the full statement Iantic put out. Uh, this is what they're doing after Go Fest. All registered attendees will soon receive an email with instructions on how to receive a full refund for the cost of their ticket.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I know that, at least I know you're particularly sensitive to cringe, so. For your sake, the audio's not out. Yes. Thank you. But, there are a number of panels where they're talking about game features and people just shout, bellowing, with hatred in their voice.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So it's interesting because, uh, I think that abstracts out a bit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There are people who, I think it's almost a No Man's Sky kind of situation, not with this specifically, and I don't mean to imply that. She was playing, and oh, the camera was behind her. But it's, uh, I feel like there are moments when somebody, somebody gets an idea of what something will be.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then they pay money for it, and then to them mentally, they're like, the contract has been executed. I have paid money for this idea, now that idea must be delivered unto me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But it is interesting when suddenly reality snaps that like a dry twig and it's like even though you


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it was kind of like, and the people were trying to talk and the chants were so loud you couldn't hear them. So yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Good question. Well theoretically, I mean, it was, it was, they had to pay the, apparently they had to pay like room and board, travel, that's expensive, but they got the ticket refunded, they're gonna get some goodies, so I think in the end it hopefully should be worth it. Yeah. For Pokemon Go fans, uh, I don't know, um,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know, it's interesting to me that I'm gonna steal a bit of an atomism right now. We live in a world where there are festivals for mobile games. People come out to them in droves. And because these things


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Don't, aren't meant to be used this way. It's a use case that they didn't develop the game for. Of course it breaks, uh, instantly. Yeah. And then, yeah, then you're left with this weird, hollow feeling of a bunch of angry people who came for an experience.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just how, how long ago, I want you guys to give me a number, how many years ago do you have to go for even the existence of that happening to be so absurd to you, it's uh, it's comical.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So they take out a gun and he's like, come on, and people would rush the stage. It'd be awesome. How about, okay, James, I have a Bond twist for you. Yeah. What if it's a to- well, Tamar never does, not quite. Let's say there is somebody who understands the workings of digital identity so thoroughly that they would do that. What would you say is more villainous? Delete it all?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it took me a while to catch on to the, like, trappings of the world, but essentially for the kids in the show, augmented reality is as important as real reality. They have, like, a pet, and the pet gets lost, and they have to go find it. Like, but it's not r-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's not real. You could just copy and paste it and have it back. But no, that's not part of it. That is their world. So...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think people bellowing and throwing shit at Pokemon Go is a sign, it's like one of those creepy cyberpunk milestones when fake reality is as important as real reality. And that's been happening in World of Warcraft for years, people dying because they're in, you know, cyber cafes playing until they forget to eat because their character just had a roast chicken or whatever. I mean it's not necessarily that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Speaking of orgasm cakes, I think I got a fix on what Bruce Mike like. Okay. And that's a Subway sandwich from Jersey Mike's. Oh yes. A delicious sub. So uh, Jersey Mike's has sponsored us before.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If anything, ads need more bits. So the bit for Jersey Mike's will be, I'm going to size you all up and tell you what your sandwiches are. But starting only with Bruce. I can already- Bruce alone.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I have surmised that you're a number 31, a California chicken cheesesteak kind of guy. That one's really good. It's good, but no, that's not the one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Gotta, gotta string it out. Next episode, in which Jersey Mike sponsors us, I'll size Adam up and tell him what his sandwich is.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, so please go to jerseymikes.com slash dudesoup or just use promo code dudesoup on the app for 10% off.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's all you gotta do. Just order online at jerseymikes.com slash dudesoup or use promo code dudesoup. All one word, no space. To get 10% off your Jersey Mike's order,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Thank you Jersey Mike's for your sponsorship. What's that sandwich, Bruce?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I guess in rounding out the news that probably should have been the headline, but I just couldn't, just couldn't bring myself to it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, you missed it. You missed it. Uh, there was the, there it was. I saw it. Did he get kicked out? Hold on a minute. Wait, is he French? No, that's not the Nazi part. Hold on. There! Zoom enhance!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What? There! KKKK. No, it's, it's, so, this is more like me describing memes to people. Are you guys familiar with Kekistan?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's meant to be a flag unifying all of the...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, and as you might guess, it's also associated with some pretty weird shit, given that it both came from 4chan, it's from their political board, and is meant to represent a bunch of sad and lonely people.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, but yeaah, so now you have it there. You saw it, you've seen the proof. Behold, behold before you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, he also draws a Pepe. Furt your eyes. What does that have to do for, what does that have to do with... Pepe is a Nazi symbol, don't look at that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Felix? Yeah, he's even outlining and everything. Anyway, this is how, this is how our nation's youth will be corrupted. Okay. Pokemon Go, cell phones. Yep. Frogs. Yep. Flags. Uh huh. When will the Nazis be cool again? Infowars. Wait, is he French?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I watched that video and I was like, that's really funny. And then I just saw Reddit thread of like, I can't believe, oh there was another time where he like made fun of CNN, whatever. I don't know, it's, it's uh, it's almost like it's own television show, watching people that are in that particular brand of online culture war.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Everything's a battle. Every moment matters. Every Reddit thread, every conversation, everything is 100%. Man, you guys got it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, okay, rounding out Hard Netting. This might be one for the ages, you guys. Uh oh. If only because, like I said, all things come back to anime. So, if you recall last week, uh, beautiful, beautiful soul, Ivan Doran. Hold on. Oh yeaah. Love this guy. He exposed, he exposed to us the, uh, the full potential of the male vocal cords. Yep.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Now Ivan Dorn's a hero. He's hitting them high notes. Because he's a professional.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, girls stand on inflatable platforms. This is the butt cannon. Uh, and they must knock each other off those inflatable platforms, only making contact with their ass or their chest. Cool. Uh, there are, there are a couple of very, very intense moves. This is the phantom tits attack. This is worth the Crunchyroll count. See, see how, look.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wow, how did she do that? She's that good. She's just that good at Keijo. And the show continues to, uh, to progress. Whoops. Oh, I wanna see that one. Hold on.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Her nipple ripple madness? Oh, she cancelled out the rotational energies of her nipples.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, so there are- Oh! No, are there live action videos of this happening? There are photos.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's also a contact sport. Guilty. I don't think wrestling leagues really span 8 to like 28 years old.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, your dude soup challenge of the week is the Google Lemon Shirts Keijo. Uh, see if you can fulfill it for dude coins that you can then spend on DudeFest. It's coming up in cooperation with, uh, Cool Ranch Tacos. It's not working!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well hosted by your favorite team Mystic, Brandon, whatever, who cares. Uh, thanks for watching this week. Uh, thanks to everybody for being great out there. Hey, you'd be, you'd be you. And also Google Image Search Keijo. Uh, we'll be back in a bit with a post show. That is if you're watching live. If you're not watching live and you want to see some fan art and hear us give real solid life advice because clearly we're


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We're both educated and responsible enough to do that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] One final note, if you enjoyed this podcast, uh, I'd personally appreciate it if you recommended it to a friend, or family member, somebody that would like it. Cause hoo boy, hoo boy, it's not doing so hot lately. People don't want those podcasts.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This podcast is too legitimate, too off the hook. No, there's so many voids of like extreme internet content that are going places I don't dare to go, so. But hey, we got that good dude screaming, so that's something. Thanks, Ivan. We'll see you next week, everybody.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like a person or another car or anything. Anything that gets in front of me, if it thinks I'm getting too close, it'll just stop the car. Same with backing up, it'll just stop it from moving. That's how, that's how fucked up weird.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But on the point of how much he is, is then committed to his character, that makes it even harder for people to disassociate a personal life of this real person from what he is. I mean, he's that way on his Twitter, his Instagram, everything. So like, where does that line then get drawn? I think this whole, so there's a whole thing here that- But again, I'll just make clear.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, that's one of my favorite human reactions. Just anytime anyone brings up anything remotely complaining about anyone, there's always the one-upsmanship of pain. Got it. I'm on this, yep.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's like, no, it's worse where I am. Welcome to a pain-filled bowl of dude soup.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We can't even, we don't even, can't even afford a house to put this bowl in, cause it's sitting on top of avocado toast.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He knew that if he now also traveled into the past, we'd work for him too. How many Steven Subject videos are we making?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, Adam, I'm glad that you share a bitterness to the state of commonality. The talking point that I had prepared was about, uh, homeownership and avocado toast. Namely how the two relate to the modern way in which we live, and the fact that we apparently can't save any money to afford houses that cost shitloads of money. It's overrated.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, don't tell that to Tim Gerner, who spoke to Australian 60 Minutes. Uh, so, the other fascinating thing I think about this is, it's probably the best instance I've seen of headline rewrit- rewriting happenings, uh, in a very long time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So this originally broke on 60 minutes, uhm, it's just that some dude, some dude talking about how rich he is and how people should be rich by not spending money. I mean fundamentally he's not wrong, you don't get rich by spending money or overspending on food or other luxury items. Then time did this brilliant thing where


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's a, there's an optimistic and a pessimistic way to look at that. I think the optimistic way is, uh, the millennial generation grew up with the internet. So they have the luxury of, of seeing the world through their phones or through the internet at a glance. Um, instead of having to look up some nerdy ass book. Uh, so you can see like photos of all sorts of cool shit. You can see videos of cool shit and you can think, man, I'd like to go and do that. I think that,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, certainly their worlds, our worlds are a lot broader than they used to be.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The negative side of it, er, that I could choose to interpret that as, millennials just want to go so they can take a fucking Instagram picture next to a waterfall. And, uh, hopefully boost their clout. So, it's weird though, cause even,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Both things could be considered an investment in a weird way. So you either invest money in a house that appreciates in value, or you spend money to get a bitchin' Instagram profile that then you can sell, uh, ads on or whatever. But they're not going to be selling. No. Yeah, that's the thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Rental properties are down? I don't know. I don't know what that graph is even referring to. This is just some b-roll I found on YouTube.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, I think aside from what people choose to spend their money on, and I guess this still factors into what you choose to spend money on, but it seems to me that there are just more...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The standard of living has gone up thanks to internet and mobile technology and things like that. So, we're all kings, therefore no one is. I mean every American that's over four years old is entitled to a phone, and entitled is the wrong word, but it's just sort of a, now it's just something lumping on to the base minimum of life management.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Good thing that internet is such a priority, because now you can use it to get ripped as hell.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, using Beachbody, who is sponsoring this podcast. So uhm, it's actually pretty great because their bread and butter used to be DVDs and stuff like that, but now they have Beachbody on demand, which has all of their fitness brands and all their workouts just available on the internet. Uh, which is fantastic if you travel or if you can't afford a gym membership or don't want to go outside, uh, you can do this in the comfort of your own home.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Maybe a bit of a stretch. I don't think these are supposed to make you comfortable. But they'll make you comfortable with your body and how you look.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, and they've got all the, all the hot brands, uh, P90, P90X, P90X2, P90X3, P90X one-on-one, all the P90s you need. And actually, uhm, so Bruce has recommended to me a while to just straight up do insanity. Matt and I used to- Do insanity. Yeaah, we used to just do some of the workouts occasionally.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, I should. It's just, uh, I think it's, I'm in the last hump phase. I gotta take, take that one final stretch. Uh, they also offer, uh, nutrition. So they have a first of its kind cooking show for healthy weight loss and portion control called Fixate, which will teach you how to cook healthy, delicious, and simple recipes for you and your family.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, and if that all sounds interesting to you, you can try out a free 30 day membership by texting DUDE to 30 30 30.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, I don't know. Uhm, I was hoping to cash in on the avocado millennial craze.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'd rather come out and be good. Of course, always. Well, rock start!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's weird because Rockstar typically doesn't announce until they're confident they're going to hit. That was the surprise. I'm curious what happened. I'm curious. But that's fine. GTA wasn't delayed? GTA was absolutely not delayed. It was delayed 16 times. 100% it was. So Spring 2018 is still fiscal year 2017, so I'm sure that's why they're okay with it. Uh, that means that everything else trying to cram into fiscal year is going to be really crowded out of Spring. Whatever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's uh, yeaah, 70 million copies as of November 2nd, 2016. Which is just, like, otherworldly. And what I imagine it, what it was is like, we'll have to slip out of holiday, but we'll make fiscal year.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So your 2017 is still going to look amazing and your investors are still going to be happy. So really, there's not a problem.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The model did totally shift though, cause yea, games were product, now they're services. How old is this gorgeous game?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, you're exactly right Bruce, which means there's going to be a games of service element to it. Absolutely. The online will probably not come in paid chunks. They'll dribble out new horses and new minigames and it'll all be based on some currency that you have to buy. Theoretically, they might even pioneer more than that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But the interesting thing I discovered, I couldn't find anything overtly negative. No scandals, no nothing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Gotcha! I'm couching it as gotcha, but I do respect the skill of not, not offending the internet.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Um, because I'm very bad at that. Rather, just, just in, by lieu of being myself on the internet, I piss someone off. Or I cause a giant reddit post or something, just because of some offhanded thing I said. Yeah, try getting older.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, I'm curious about that. Uhm, is, is that something that you consider a talent that you had to groom, or were you just kind of naturally acclimated to being likable? It's a nice, likable, unexciting, that's what I heard over here.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It sounds so simple, but there are people who try to communicate openly and either aren't able to do it or they end up saying something that offends people. I guess I've always respected your ability to level with the audience in a way that makes them mostly actually listen as opposed to press their agenda or hang on to whatever bitterness that they may enjoy having.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I guess, I guess that's, uh, I guess we're meandering onto the topic, but the thing that has always fascinated me the most is when uhm,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When people construct a series of events or some truth about you that's not rooted in anything. No, I know. When just like one little bit comes from here and there and then suddenly you're like, you went to college in Canada. No, I never did that. Actually, James, I think that happened to you recently. Did it? I don't remember. Probably. It happens a lot.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, you can check out this week's menu which includes beef teriyaki stir fry with sugar snap peas and lime rice. Uh, baked spinach and egg flatbread with sauteed asparagus and lemon aioli. Three cheese baby broccoli stromboli with tomato and oregano dipping sauce.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, crispy salmon and roasted potato salad with pickled mustard seeds and creme fraiche sauce. So you can check out pictures and delightful, uh, step by step instructions and all that stuff by going to bladerprint.com slash soup.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And there you can get your first three mils for free if you sign up for the service. Once more, that's blueapron.com slash soup. So thank you, Blue Apron.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're never gonna get that cool Terminator Salvation reveal if they know they're robots. Didn't anyone watch that movie? Jesus Christ. Salvation or Genesis? Yeah, it was great. They showed it in the trailer there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well speaking of uh, uh, rivalries that'll last the ages. Oh right. We got a, we have a reigning victor in Hard Net in the week. Hopefully, hopefully we can top this week.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, so, uh, this is a podcast segment.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, we've had a, we've had a Victor here for a very long time. I apologize, I'm gonna have to cut out the Red Dead gameplay. So Big Knee Lover is, uh, just too pure.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's this right here. I did find somebody that had Sonic in their kneecap.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, no. Uhm, I read a study about how autistic people can't read facial emotions. That's why they gravitate to cartoons and stuff. Sonic's face is extremely expressive. So I think he's cool. He's very cool. His eyes touch the center.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes, it is a balloon artist. It is a balloon artist. There she is. Her name is Bobby, but you can call her Babaloonie. Oh, okay. Good for her. So, okay, this- Elmo. Babaloonie. This seems, this seems pretty tame, except they have the best jingle ever. Uh oh. I'm gonna have to enable flash. Oh wow. You must be dedicated. So.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Bobolini has taken the crown. Why are you guys pretending like you know who that guy was? Which is uh, rubber and inflated.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, right? Big Knee Lover had a hell of a run. I don't remember off the top of my head, but I want to say it was over two months.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh god, I guess that'll do it for today's podcast. Thanks everybody for tuning in. I've got the post show coming up right after this and then after that the RT podcast. Bernie's got a very quick flight to catch back to Austin. It's gonna be okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And that's why you avoid scandals. As usual, thank you all for watching. If you enjoyed it, recommend it to a friend. Pay him five dollars, make him listen to it, that's good too. I don't care, I'll take anything at this point. But, please join us next week. Thanks everybody. Bye. Is it breast milk? No, it's normal milk.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's exactly right. So, uh, you have your selection of girls, uhm, there's six of them it looks like. Looks like Betty from Riverdale.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Westerns have been big movies for a very long time. I think they probably always will be.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I feel like I missed that on Primal too. Because the gameplay that you guys did for the channel, I wasn't here for. And it seemed really cool. It seemed like it was, I don't know, yea I know, and that's kind of everybody going like, ehh they strided and-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I thought it was a neat take on something that I hadn't seen before, which is like, basically being a caveman. Which I hadn't seen very often in other video games and, uh, and obviously I trust Far Cry to do it pretty well.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's a real art to it though, I think. Like, you guys, and I guess we've all discovered with Zelda.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That Zelda feels like a sandbox, but it's a restricted sandbox. Uhm, and the game just ends up being endlessly fun, but where like, James and I, when we was talking about Assassin's Creed Black Flag, we're like, I loved the pirate aspect and the boat aspect. As soon as you got out in the ocean, it was amazing. But then after about an hour of that, you're like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't really wanna, like, go whaling and then hunt for treasure and do all this, like, there's just too many things to do.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, and I was like, I just felt too distracted and therefore I just, I uninvested myself entirely. So, there's a real art to that, trying to figure out how much open world to give the player.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's a, I think for me, this assumes a lot. Red Dead Redemption 2 is coming out this year? And ideally that will be, Far Cry will be Red Dead Redemption 2 but first person?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I bet Red Dead's gonna have first person because GTA had it. It's funny that you say that because I was thinking exactly the same thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Red Dead's probably going to do the open world a little better than Far Cry does.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The thing that Far Cry does well that maybe GTA and Red Dead don't do is the visceral experience of shooting old west guns and like, you know, using your knife on dudes and that kind of thing. Like that ideally will feel a little more, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So hopefully that's, that's one way they'll delineate between Red Dead and Far Cry.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I think James, what James is getting at is something that like we all wish, which is, because like Terminator or Star Wars or whatever else, they were gonna, you know they're gonna make their own video games like, we could do it better. And they may not be able to. And so maybe they trust like a Far Cry or an Assassin's Creed.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right. To like, to handle their license. That'd be really cool.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Lawrence, did you notice an immediate difference in the whiteness of your teeth?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Those are straightened though. They close the gap and stuff. That's not fair. Oh, those are veneers.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How many hours does it take to play through?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My what? My game of the week? Wait, did I pick those ones? Battlegrounds. Alright. No, I think I would like to give What Remains of Edith Finch a try, since I've heard so many good things about it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, no, no. You throw your, you throw your club in the air. I think I figured it out. You throw your club in the air. The third one. It goes in the air and then you use the other two clubs to knock clubs out of the other players hands.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] 2015, oh this stopped two years ago. Well it didn't stop.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, so we can figure it out in 1v1 here. I can- oh wait, no, that's not 1v1.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh man, the US always wins. Damn right. Wins everything.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They say they have sponsors though. That's just hockey though. Like it's hard to ice skate, but then also hard to hit a puck and check people.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, got em. So wait, so is Adam gonna tell us he can do this too?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uuuh, stop it. Alright, here I'll open. 100 videos. This is, she's way better. Look, this is not, Adam doesn't do mocap.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm not juggling versus Big Knee Lover. James, what's your vote? I need it now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Nooo. Look, ESPN. I'll vote. Sponsorships from a real estate agent? That's big time. I still think Big Knee Lover is alright. Because Combat Juggling was obviously shot by cameramen and stuff like that. Whereas Big Knee Lover is, I feel like, much more deep internet, deep web, than Combat Juggling is. Alright.