[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When a game like Fortnite is the most popular on the planet, and then a sequel to Tomb Raider, a third person action adventure game, does a tenth


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Of the sale, I mean not Fortnite's free, but like, probably even less money, does a hundredth of the money that Fortnite makes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, you're just encouraging more and more developers, and it's fine, but you should be aware that it's happening, to release something vaguely.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Everyone I know who was playing it got tired of it and they weren't.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They weren't on the update, like, they're like, here you go, here's your update, and people are like, this is unusable.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We can't do any, like the Megalodon stuff. They're like, do you realize what your player, you must have had statistics to see what your players are doing and this does not at all match up with what players are doing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Which means you have to somehow get someone else who, by the way, everyone on the internet is an asshole, uh, to help you do it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it's like, that's, that's nonsense. And then that combined with server issues where, like if you talk to Dan and John and Jacob about like, and peak the shit that they had to go through where they would finally find someone to help them, and then,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] While they were doing something separately to accomplish the task, the server would change over, thus putting them in a different map with different people.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Start your job again, go back to working in IT somewhere.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're the worst lawyer. When you have a ton of money, you can do that. When you're Hello Games... That's true.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You can't. It's either, it's either the company folds


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, or you keep working and you hope that you can salvage. Or you can get, you can get the people that are there to keep supporting it. Like that's, those are basically your only options. Gearbox can go, ah, didn't work, Battleborn sucks. And then move on to the next one because...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, it was just the funniest people allowed to do whatever they wanted.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, cause they're trying to do something they haven't seen before, so it generally goes into absurdism. But then the problem is, as absurdism catches on...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Then you have to find a new way to push into absurdism, because that's the only stuff that surprises you. So like, yea, stuff like really low-fi footage of the two of them going up to a drive-thru, paying the person and driving away before they get the food. They're like, oh, what a prank, what a prank! Like, it's stupid. It doesn't make any sense. And if you're not looking for something new,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're like, this doesn't fit in with any of my pockets of my knowledge of comedy and the things that make me laugh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it's the nominees for best foreign film. And it's literally just them doing the most offensive impressions that they're capable of. And that's the only thing, there's no other


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] His comedy is way different than all these movies, studio movies that he's been appearing in. That's a good point. So the comedies don't reflect his humor, he's just smart enough to say yes to those roles so that way he can get paid.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It goes, sleepless in Seattle. Okay? Then it goes, city of angels. Okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sleepless in Seattle. Okay. Is it the worst? Yea, it's the worst. Was there anything that's selling?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Then, uh, not on the list. Damn it. Not even on the list. Ten things? One fine day. I keep trying to guess. Hold on. And then we got You've Got Mail. Tom.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Summer of Sam. Yeah, I know, cause it's like, what if we told the story of the, uh, the son of Sam, except that he's not really in it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh my god, and just the cost to freeze it. Jesus Christ. Also, if there's a huge massive earthquake, we'll keep you safe. Don't worry. We prioritize the prisoners, even though most people are gonna die in the earthquake.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Also again, we're giving him special powers all the way out. Superhuman strength and martial arts skills. And very smart. Yep. And you are gonna get to knit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Go ahead. I was gonna say, San Diego Comic Con did a demolition man taco bell. The line was four hours long. Almost, almost went down to San Diego just for that. Glad I didn't, even though I heard it was awesome.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, but I heard that they didn't even play Jolly Green Giant on the piano there, which was nonsense, and I felt bad for our European friends who come overseas to San Diego Comic Con because they were like, why isn't this a Pizza Hut?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So you would have had a lump, but it creates, the thing is if you can get it to grow in the right places, like on your forearm or on your back, it's shields. Cause you can't destroy it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Probably 12 or something, I noticed that I had a lump here. And it turns out, I had to go get it checked.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause they were like, who knows, why's he got a lump in his chest? And it turns out that my sternum just grew too much on one side. So it's like, it's even thickness, except this side is also bigger.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I was like, so I was like, guess I better pump up those pecs, huh? Uhm, okay. So there's that, and then I also had a lump in my balls.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so then I had to go and get that checked and that was fun because I was like 14, lying on my back as a really like Michael Clarke Duncan sized dude came in and then lubed up his hands and then went


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And had to basically hold my scrotum as he like, did like, no not cut, just like scanned it cause they had to do like x-ray or whatever, sonogram, whatever makes sure the baby's alright. He's doing that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Nothing came of that? Nope. No, something came.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because he's a clone of a football player and the football player got hurt, so then he had to...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He had to basically, like, be they harvest him? What?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Before you move on to the next topic, Lawrence, I just want to say that we've had No Man's Sky footage on behind us for the last hour, and all they've been doing is hydroponic bullshit. Welcome to No Man's Sky! I mean, part of it is this, the person spent literally ten minutes just trying to figure out where to put the first one. Drove me crazy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like Elise and I will do it where we'll try and like pitch each other on games knowing that it means we get to play the games we want to play with each other. It opens up time. I think this is no different than that. If the dude wants to play, he's like, he's like, yeah, I want to play video games and he likes Fortnite and his kids are into it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Here's the thing with these kids. Here's a, here's a tip for ya. Use a mouse and keyboard, assholes. Pay me. I'm your coach.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Capitalism works every time. This is an example of it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It works! Trickle down and such. Yeah? No, I don't agree. I think this is exactly why you don't just let things go wild. Because people are inherently


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Going to take advantage of other people to their own benefit. And ultimately, like, at some point this shits on someone.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is, this is a system that ultimately at some point shits on someone.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So if 50 people get rich doing it, it means that it's shit on probably 300 people to get to that point. And that shouldn't be the case. And it certainly shouldn't be the case on Steam, a place where you just want to go to play your games. Yea, to play No Man's Sky.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know, I don't understand why you asked because it says it right there. So it's a narrative. How often does he post?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hashtag cute boy. I use that hash bag. I love hash bags.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Each jersey comes with one syringe worth of steroids too.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He wore spandex, and then he talked about how light his armor was.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] At least he's gonna get fired. He's bringing his lapometer, which Jeff has most of the time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, they're within their right to fire him whenever they want to for whatever they want, right? Uhm, I think it is pretty hypocritical.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, I think it's, I don't know if you guys saw, but recently Bobcat Goldthwait came out and was like, oh, well then you should probably take me out of the new Disney ride that's coming out where I did a voice.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's like, it didn't matter. I dieted, I worked out, I did all that stuff. When I didn't eat for


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know. Six months. I was like, wow, looking real skinny. I feel like shit and I want to die. I have no ass. That's disappeared.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, I don't want to physically do anything, I just lay there and go, bleh. But hey, I lost 25 pounds. Lost a bunch of weight.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Today, uhm, I just always get those, I just do my newsfeed every day and they're like, you can get up a day, it's like an attachment for your toilet, right? Just shoots water up your ass.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] All I know is every other country looks down at us like, how do you not have the days? What is wrong with your butt holes? Because it's like, you could wipe all day, you're going to miss something.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know, I feel like, no, I couldn't do that to somebody. Cause it goes back to that wiping thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The shooting's gotten better just from stuff, like it, from what I've seen, it's been


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It looks a lot better than it did. I think Fortnite May had something to do with that, that they were like trying to play catch up, but then...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Call of Duty's always been fairly polished, and yeaah, there's a few little glitches of people falling in and stuff, but like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Gunplanes has always been pretty top notch. I don't know how their netcode has gotten worse or better. Probably the more hardcore quality people who actually play every year know better than I, but I always, it always felt, it's always pretty quick. Get in, get out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Shoot a couple dudes down a hallway and then they just put it onto a big map and it seems to, from what we played yesterday, it worked pretty well.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My only thought with this game mode, uh, PUBG, Fortnite, and I guess even Scum now, there's all these different, uh, these different games. The difference with those is those games are going to be


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Constantly updated and supported. Call of Duty seems to be forgotten within the year.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because you move on to the next one. That's true. It's very Madden or FIFA where you're like, you throw your old copy away, you play the new one. Uh, I wonder if this game mode takes off.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is Activision and Triarch willing to break it off into its own free-to-play thing?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, whatever we're on. Yeah, it would be advanced sport. Oh, because they're- no, wait. It was in- Last year was World War II. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then like, Heroes of New Earth, and then a lot of stuff. I just remember every week was like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then Dota 2, now it's just basically Dota 2 and League, I'm sure there's other ones that people still play, but, oh here's a Storm, another one, jeez. Yeah, but it's like, uh, yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It just either had Batman in it or Gollum, you know, it was like, let's do a Lord of the Rings one, let's do this one, cause it could, it could easily just make it and put it out, but yeaah, it didn't seem like, you have to be like, those games have to be really good, whereas


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This one looks like you can just take a pre-existing franchise and go, let's go battle royale mode, figure it out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I saw that game at PEX, and I didn't think twice, I just went, oh, Dying Light sequel, okay cool.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean in the like, the mainstream are the perception. It's still doing well.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah, no it is, it totally is. I think Riot has it's own small nation that it controls. Yeaah. You know, they take all their employees out to Hawaii every year and like, they're fine, they're, I mean they've been in the media recently. They don't hire women or whatever. Yeaah, there's still some stuff there. They're edgy, they're too edgy for you bro. Yeaah, that makes you edgy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, they also, they own the engine that everyone uses, so like, and they're also partly owned by China, so like, they're, Epic's going nowhere. PUBG is a, or Bluehole, is that what it, yea, or I guess it's, sorry, PUBG Enterprises, they change their name every other week, but like, they're, they're like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're, they're, they're an indie-ish studio, you know, they have a lot of money now and all that, but then like, like an Activision Blizzard's not going anywhere. So now, now the big boys are coming in, and like, coming in with good products.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's, I don't know, I guess yeaah, it's up to each individual person whether it's better, I guess it's like- There's still room for PUBG for sure. Yeaah, it's like someone saying, yeaah, not-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Not that I have any expertise in the same, you know, Dota is better than League, it's like, they're different games. Or, yea, Heroes of the Storm is better than Dota, and like, I have no...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright. Hot locals in your area. We were talking about that yesterday at Lanchow.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, what is it, Tinder whatever, or it's like, it's doing it's Ashley Madison thing I guess. Oh really?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] People are talking about there's like basically fake profiles on there? For sure.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Someone here who will not be named is dating or looking to date or whatever, a single person. And they're saying like, that's why I'd be like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I didn't take down a whole lot of peripheral notes for this. I'm too busy getting my face cut open. It looks kind of like UPN-esque. Uh, alright.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The star. The star. I mean, he'll get it based on that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I know, it's the one thing, it's the one thing she did. It is literally the one thing she did. I mean, she still is doing stand-up, but it's the one thing she did. She's not on television anymore.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You see boobs, but the amount of work.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It takes to get there. That's not worth it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I get that. It's more rewarding. I can respect that if that's what you're into. If that's your journey. Personally.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, I mean look, look, if I get into a video, it's nice that they start with clothes on. Just so I know what the before and after is like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How many mouses do you think have been bought on Amazon? Cause people mash that yes button so fucking hard. Yes, adults only sexual content.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's the scary part, right? The slippery slope where they go, hey, you know what?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You can, it's like YouTube, you can show a vagina waxing video on there because it's educational. And there's enough adults that say, hey,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You old enough to watch this? Go ask your parents. It's an educational thing. Grow the fuck up. It's a labia. Deal with it. You know, it's like, okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, I guess we're just putting, we're injecting some personal responsibility here.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Weird. And that's where I kinda go, okay, maybe keep the...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This goes back to, like, Larry Flint. This is, uh, this is actually a pretty good movie. There's documentaries about it, but the movie's not bad.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Basically the government will step in and be like, you can't sell porno. And he's like, why? Like, the government should not be telling me what I can, what kind of art I can be looking at. And it's like, so I stand behind that, but it's the, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is one of the grossest things I've ever been to because it's like, it was, it was all hairy bush and like just,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I might undo it. But I'm glad someone is. That's not even due.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're doing good work. I don't want to take your adult only pornography away.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You can have it. Uh, thank you. Hey, you know what? Jack off. It's fine. Jack off. It's fine. It's fine. Do whatever you want. You're not gonna go to hell. You're not gonna grow, uh, hair on your hand, uh, as long as you're not hurting other people, you know what? Go jack off.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Doesn't matter. We are, we are animals at heart. You're absolutely right. We, we just figured out how to clothe ourselves. And we're pretending to be better than everything else. Just cause we made our way to the top of the food chain, we're like, yeah, you know what, we're better than this. No, we're not. We're still biologically wired to do a thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Good name though, fuck, I like fuckaisis.com. Oh, oh no! It didn't actually hit its funding goal.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Instead of doing 5x5, just do 25 in a row.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Daily photos of me and my brother, all in the description. All in the shower. Don't worry about it. Daily photos of us in the shower, don't know why.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Living in a trailer was fine. That was a photo enthusiast. I know. We only had so much water, so we showered naked. We did. Look, Kodachrome. Daily wrestling. He wanted us to be strong.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're all garbage. Fair enough. What's the difference between green goblin and hobgoblin?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They paid him what, 15 million dollars to be in the movie for a minute and a half?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I only saw it the one time and went, wow, that happened.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I like the origin story of Sandman, he's like, slow down criminal, and then he's like, I'll run to this farm, and they're like, well, let's begin the science experiment now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I wanna get this symbia on Earth and Samurai's like, Let's burn a fucking rock!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Radio right falls next to Spider-Man. He gets suit. Got it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's like, did he look at an American flag? Yes. He'll do fine. Way to go!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's a Spider-Man. That's a Sam Raimi thing. It is, it is. He's into that shit. He's an 80s, 90s director, so like... Which itself had dashes and 50s in it. What is it? The original IT.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, you know, which was written by Stephen King, had a fascination with the 50s. Like, that's happening today with the 80s.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think what they do is they go, de-aging process, millions of dollars. Uhm, I forget what that actor was in who played Young Forest Whitaker. He's good. He's good. He's a good actor. He's from, I forget what it is.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The origin story of this show and its original purpose is to...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You tell me that every day. Not soon, I'm just saying. This could be the simulation we're in right now. And it feels real because of men. We assume men.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like this, we're documenting every part of our current existence, if this is real or not. Alright, so toilet! Wow.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And he was already a rich billionaire who then exacted his revenge. He could have stayed a billionaire if he didn't invent the serum.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hey, uh, what's going on, Rugger Hire? And he goes, you know what, you're fired. And you're like, what the f- Yeah, board hates you. Yeah. Like what hap- when was this decided? And they're just like, when you get rid of Morgan Freeman? That sucks.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Similar to the co-op series Bruce and I did with Portal that we're still trying to do. Still just playing through it. But this one we actually got through the whole thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Why'd you do this? Where do you get off? What's your problem?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, cause if you, if you don't have a home for your child to live in, social services will just take your baby and give it back to us.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Got pushed through, and it took a lot of work, a lot of effort, and it's been worked on for even months after we were done filming it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, and this is just for a pilot, so yeaah. I know, I know people.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'd like to point that out. We're like, what, what's that big change they made? And they're like, well, you know, editors have more time on videos and we made a, basically a television show. So it was a, it's been a fun year.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Adam and I were briefly on the RT podcast. You should see the intro to that show. Now that's an intro. Man. That's an intro. What do they do? It's like CG shelves and stuff. I mean, you guys know, you watch it every week, but like- Oh yeah, you're right. Yeah, I love it. Like CG shelves, like, boom, and the logo is like, boom.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's basically like the IMAX thing, but with RT Podcast. So yours comes in like that. It comes in like this, it's cool. And it's pre-linked footage.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because we're all gonna be unemployable soon. We all just need to be flat Ken dolls and just...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We need to be, we need to be pure, uh, like, uncorrupted Disney personalities, like Britney Spears, or Demi Lovato, or Miley Cyrus, or Amanda Bynes, all of those pure spirits that Disney did not


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's cool. I mean, I saw where it started, because I follow James Gunn on Twitter, and I saw he was basically like going back and forth with Ben Shapiro.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Who's, uh, Ben Shapiro. Ben Shapiro is a, uh, pundit, I guess you would say. A conservative talking pundit. A conservative, a conservative pundit. Uhm, and what was it? It was, uhm, Duplass. Mark, is it Mark? Mark Duplass, or which one? There go two. Mark Duplass, the one from,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because he's generally well thought out in his, in his.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, and then James Gunn responded to Mark Duplass and was like, seriously? Because of all this stuff he said before?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That spiraled out into a whole, like, you attack one of ours, well let's see how innocent you are kind of thing, and then, and then yea, so then. So where does Mark Cernovich fit in all this?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, I think to go back further, I think there's also, there's still some fallout from the Roseanne.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so she was, her show was cancelled and she was fired from it, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so I think there's a certain, well, if she can be fired because of tweets, then, then he should also be able to be fired because of tweets. It's just different sides.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, so, I mean, I basically was reading about this all fucking weekend because anyone who's watching now should understand that this is something that does affect everyone you're watching.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Thousands of thousands of hours of things we've said and done, uhm, for the sake of comedy, uhm, and, and to think that people can just


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, I think it's, I don't know if you guys saw, but recently Bobcat Goldthwait came out and was like, oh, well then you should probably take me out of the new Disney ride that's coming out where I did a voice.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think, I mean, again, companies can do whatever they want to. I think there's also a way you can do it where you go into a meeting and you say, listen, this is really burning us up right now. Uh, so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, we don't have to come out and say we're firing you because of your tweets from ten years ago, but we can part ways.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We can say that it's a mutual agreement that these tones don't work or whatever like, but it didn't seem, it didn't feel like that. I don't want it to be the case that it comes out and there's worse things behind the scenes that's causing this firing. I don't want it to be that case. That's what it feels like though, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But if it was, it would feel more justified, but I don't want it to be that case. It's weird too, and I think it's, it's a both sides, but I don't like when some sort of method like this is successful.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Whoever says he's one of the most lovable men, nevermind him, but theoretically, he's beloved.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They did the exact same thing, sent him a bunch of...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, out of context tweets that he's made. Sure. Uhm, Trevor Noah made a joke, made a pretty tasteless joke. Uh, 2013. 2013. And then also Michael Ian Black. Yes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And the problem is a lot of these people also are outspoken against Trump and, and the, and conservative movement in general and stuff like that. So not that you shouldn't be allowed to be for whatever side you want to be, but like it's clear that people discovered like a tool and now everyone's trying to constantly use that tool.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] To me that's scary because it's like now you're not even, no one's having a conversation, no one's talking to anyone.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A lack of communication, whether or not you agree with the Mark Duplass tweet endorsing a, a pundit that you don't agree with.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] At the very least, he was saying, have a conversation, open up some sort of conversational pathway. Now it's just getting really, really bad. And then of course, onto the Dan Harmon thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I mean, people accurately pointed out that Rick, the inspiration for Rick and Morty, the old Doc and Marty, that cartoon, the end of the first episode is that the Marty character has to suck.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Doc's dick to get the time machine to work, like, it's unrelenting in its gratuitousness.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't, I, I don't know. As someone who practices comedy, this is really not.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The standards aren't the same. There's a certain thing, and I'm not...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Given the content of our channel, one of the most gratifying things that I try to do.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it doesn't, it's hard to seek out because I think you cultivate an audience that gets it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But not everyone gets everything, and we've seen, at this point, we've been reached out to by any number of topics. It's probably, we've gotten at least one comment or criticism from every single thing that we've ever done or ever discussed, uhm, subject matter-wise. But one of the most gratifying things you can do is have a conversation with that person.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And try and understand. You don't have to necessarily change or apologize for what you've done or who you are, but you can understand where someone's coming from and they can try and understand where you're coming from. That's...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's a really valuable tool, and it really, generally, every, after every single conversation I've ever had at this point, I've probably had...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] 52, 50 to 75 of these. Just through Reddit or Twitter or any, or in person or any means like that. You know what, like the apology tour or like a one-on-one like? No, like actual talks. Like a one-on-one. Like with people over the internet about our content and stuff. I always feel so much better having spoken to someone about it. I always feel so much better.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Also, to be clear, just because it's intended to be comedy doesn't mean it's funny.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, always. You can't claim that as a defensive retrospective. Like, if people are like, those James Gunn tweets are not funny, I'm not going to be like, what's your problem? No, that's totally fine. They're not funny. I do have a problem with people going, those James Gunn tweets are not funny and he must be a pedophile because no one other than a pedophile would ever think to say something like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't think that's true. I don't think that's true. I don't think that's how comedy works. Uhm, there's a term for it. It's called gallows humor. And it's basically picking the worst conceivable scenario you could and then trying to mock it. I love Benson more than anything in this world except for maybe Elise.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And just the other day, I made a joke about abandoning him in a park somewhere because of how much easier it would make my life. And at least I both had a good laugh about it as he's sitting there looking adorable. I would never do it!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But that doesn't mean I can't find humor in such a bizarre, far from me, far from my situation kind of joke. Uhm, I don't know. And again, it's, there's the open mic type things, comedians throw shit at the wall.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's what they do. That's how they get good jokes. Is they try bad jokes. And then that's how you sharpen your sword and that's how you get better. It's really scary. When all this started happening, it was really scary to me that people were like, you know what we should go after? Comedians!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah. So yeaah, it's, uh. I think there's also, that skew is more liberal as well. It does. I don't know, creative arts or whatever, I don't know why, I have no idea.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well I think, I mean I think to again try and reach across and empathize, I think fear is a driving factor in all of this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because again, if we want to say the starting point, but the catalyst for this is Roseanne's tweet, the fear was that


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wait, now I can't make my things with my, who's coming for me, so we'll go to them, right? I think there is a kind of a reaction. I think fear mode, but then fear motivates both sides. So I think you see a lot of, it wasn't entirely, uh, people on the right side of the spectrum going after James Gunn.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There were a ton, I saw a ton of responses to his things from people that I'm sure would identify left side of politics going, this is unacceptable, he should get out of here, he's a pedophile. And so, like, who would ever think that way? What about the children kind of thing like that?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so, it's not just one side, but I think it's fear. Fear motivates both sides in all of their conclusions.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's cause people are angry and they're angry because they're scared.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I am someone who is very admitted left in politics. I go to protests and I vote a certain way, but even that I understand that there's nothing constructive to come from


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's a reason they believe the way that they believe. People don't just believe ran- they just don't get assigned a random belief and go boom, that's what I'm thinking. There's a world view that has formulated that belief.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Her expertise is knowing what that group of people have gone through and dealt with, right? Her expertise is comedy. So she, in that discussion, she's going to argue in favor of the better comedy, which was her version of the joke. He's going to argue in favor of the damage that that comedy can do in his perception.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When they hired him, I was like, oh shit, they're trying to inject some edge. They know that this is a property that they need to make stand out or whatever. And also, just again, following him on Twitter, you get the sense that he's like, well, all other kids were reading Superman, he was reading Guardians of the Galaxy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] To be creative. To figure out. Like, everyone starts as a big block of marble, and slowly you chip off the pieces that you don't think you need, but along the way there's some large chunks that you're like, I'm gonna try this, and boom, like, and then ultimately as you grow and you improve and you figure out the directions you wanna go, like you refine it into a thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is just a small example, it's not exactly relevant, but like, there's no cursing in any of the sex swing cartoons. There's no cursing. And that was a conscious decision.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That we made because we were like, well, if we have the time to choose our words, let's see if we can choose something else in place. And if you like, whether or not you think it sucked or not doesn't really matter. I'm just using it to make a point. Uh, Tommy, Tommy Steele's character.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We found a different way for him to curse as much as someone with a foul mouth would curse without ever actually cursing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just a choice we tried to make. These are the experiments that you do, one way or the other, to try and figure out your voice and your craft and your tone and how you're going to express yourself.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And if you're talking comedy, Jesus Christ, go to an open mic. Please.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And if you have a time machine, go to an open mic in the late 70s and early 80s. And someone immediately pointed it out and they were like, George motherfucking Carlin played Mr. Conductor in Shining Time Station, the Thomas the Tank Engine show, in the 80s and 90s or whatever. George Carlin.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know, it's just, it bothers me. The Dan Harmon thing I thought was interesting because Adult Swim's response was, yep, this is pretty bad.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The idea of that is so far-fetched that you're like, why would someone do that? They'd have to be a monster. Wow. That's fun.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's really weird. You're gonna, you're gonna, things are gonna get a lot less funny if this is something that's going to be enforced. Dave Chappelle's critically acclaimed stand-up comedy from earlier this year? Was he coming out earlier this year?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It ends with a pretty fantastic rape joke. It does. So if you're just like blanket no rape jokes, which totally justified, you can totally feel that way. I completely understand. But his is an amazing joke. Uhm, and that's...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you want to consider the system of things, it's not better. He was accused of something and then denied it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Which makes everyone around, in a weird way, makes everyone around that person feel more okay with it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So whether or not Joss Whedon, like, did something, he, he didn't feel comfortable denying it. And so...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's, I don't know, I feel like that's easier to come back from than if there's a record of you having apologized for it and said that you have moved on.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Gotcha. Next time we do it, we should say we're gonna try and raise as much money as we can, but also spend as much money as we can. And try and end at zero.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I like that you only know because you've looked into it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Were they not aware? Who cares? Who cares? Anyway, use promo code Adam to get that episode. Hey, I have a wish list.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I just like when 9 year olds write about like, what makes things bad. It's like, he was okay until his older brother took away his toys.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But then it's like, uh, what's the space from Jeepers Creepers? Josh?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What I do is I watch the movie but I watch it at 60% speed so they sound like regular people.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do you think it's like, sometimes you see like, female dogs?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And they have like, really tight skin and their vaginas pulled all like, you know, aah, I can't even look at you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Something to do with banging my head on the wall earlier. Always like, can we go any lower? And then we do.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The Battlefield V Alpha has come and gone and we got a chance to play it. Does it improve on the series as we know it or have those rascally women come in and ruin everything again? We'll discuss all those issues and more on this historically accurate and patriotic bowl of dude soup.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In, both in good faith and bad faith, argue about the historical accuracy of battlefield.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So yea, we're not SGW-pandering right off the top. We got that out of the way. We're actually going to talk about the game, and I think there is actually a place to talk about the pace of the game, and to me, when people talk about historical accuracy, I think


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What they really mean is authenticity to the series, cause it's not.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's taken a few paces away from 1942, but hey, that's what happens. Call of Duty did the same thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Speaking of America, World War II. Except in this fight, I think it's Axis versus, uh, Brits?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, but yeaah, I've punched up some notes about the alpha. I don't know, I guess we can go around the horn. Bruce, I know you played it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Out of all the consistency issues or historical accuracy issues, people brought up women don't belong on World War II or whatever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, and yes, I'm hyper, I'm hyper condensing, but I've never had an issue with them not being called Nazis, they're Axis. And I guess it's not just the Nazis you fight, you fight the Italians. And there's the Pacific Theater too, yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, fair enough. Fair enough, Reddit. You won this first. Wow, Reddit beat him.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But in practice, sometimes players find out how to shortcut that, like to just cut out whole mechanics that don't matter in the end of it, but I guess Bruce and I will be the experts, you guys can be the...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The, uh, the questioning, questioning public. And where else did we got, uh, live chat up from Rooster Teeth. So if you guys have any specific questions about Battlefield 5, you can ask the experts and we'll be happy to field them for you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's kind of a hint, I guess, at the progression system that'll be in the game. There'll be like daily orders, which is like get three headshots or heal people this number of times.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, they like special order was you had to do four out of five objectives and each one was specifically tailored to one class. So you get three headshots as a scout, heal ten different people as a medic or something like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, it was down to get a thousand explosion damage as assault, or get three headshots as scout.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, let's see here. Some DJ Muffins asking if Vader is unlocked. No, it's just the alpha. Uh, there was no gun customization in the alpha either for the person asking.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, but okay, I can, I'll start plugging through my notes here. So just general gameplay notes. Uh, time to kill. Seem pretty low. Like you seem, you were pretty thick in Battlefield 1. You could get shot a couple times. You could.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, Heavy K is asking, is there a bleed out mechanic that's different than the others? Yes. Fundamentally different. So, bleed out and revive are two of the bigger changes, like spotting and bleed out I think are kind of the two big things, so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it could, that could be the case. There might be a way to assassinate someone so they can't be revived, but the revive mechanic is actually pretty important and can be used in your favor even if somebody else is bleeding out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, but anyway, so I, I, a lot of people didn't like that, feeling like they were waiting on the ground, even though it kind of seems like the weight is the same as other battlefields, it's just kind of front-loaded.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, and it's kind of weird too that you take an action to slow it down, whereas usually you take action to speed up respawning. So maybe that's why people...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're consumable too. So health and ammo packs go on the ground and a player picks them up and then they're gone. It's not a station that just radiates out health or ammo. That may change the


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then the other, the other biggest change spotting, uhm, it used to be, in other battlefields you would just sweep your mouse cursor across the front and just mash Q and wait for your hand to fly out. I loved it, I loved it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you're looking and you hit Q, it'll put a pip somewhere, but it's just putting a pip where you're looking.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So if you're talking to your squad and you're like, I think there's a sniper there, you can mark it, everyone else can see it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If a scout tags something and it's marked for you, it will stay marked for you until line of sight is broken.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So if the person who's tagged then gets behind cover or gets away, you lose the tag.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Now, since spots go away, you can viably hide.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And that's actually an interesting mechanic. There were a lot of points where, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] People would, there's chunks of the map that have a lot of small houses and stuff with multiple floors. A lot of times the other team would like get up in houses and just wait.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, so yeaah, I really like the way the, I think also this guy has flares, which we'll spot. Uhm, and then there was one other thing, oh yeaah, if you suppress someone.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I read that suppressing an enemy will also mark them for your squad, which I think


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well yea, Medic has Health and Revive and kind of a longer range rifle. It can either have the MP40 or a scoped rifle that I don't remember right now, but yea, it was a...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In other battlefields, I had to go on a pretty good streak to run out of ammo, like just get pretty lucky and kill a lot of people. In this game, I ran out of ammo pretty often.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Which makes reloading, uh, or sorry, which makes the engineer a lot more


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Does someone have to call for ammo first before the queue thing?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Battlefield always gets there eventually, so yea, in the gameplay version I did.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I, uh, you can ride tanks, thankfully. The physics will allow you to do that. There's also like, well, the animation system's kind of weird. I don't remember what the, uh, they have a term for it for like the tech.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But you always have a lower half trailing out of your character. So if you go prone and then swivel around, you'll see your body like on your back and your legs split out. Okay. And there was, yea there was a point where I was like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was surfing this tank like balls forward, shooting like death through my legs, which is pretty exciting. I don't know, it makes it feel a little more grounded but also a little goofier, but Battlefield always has a dash of it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's, yeah, so that, I think that was one of the undercurrents that made people so mad at the trailer. Is that it did seem to be chasing modern trends and there's a lot of, I guess there's a lot of fear that


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's not really like that. So when you, building fortifications can only be done in explicit spots, typically in and around capture points.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Map destruction is pretty sweet. Uhm, it's not Levolution territory, like there's not a skyscraper that falls over.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then those can be blown up too. So, it is pretty cool. Uhm, so yeaah, you can see like some of the, this is where the house areas is, and you can see some like sandbags of people that have fortified up there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But it's crazy because at the beginning of the game when you take that point, there's just tons of cover and like places for people to hide.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, so there, there is a point on, uh, specifically there's this point on the bridge right here where it's like there's cloth hanging down and then there's open spots where snipers can just pick right through. And you can do that from other points, like across the map. You can just snipe in and start hitting people when they're defending a different point. Specifically on that point, you can build sandbags all the way up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So you can just lock off that whole sniping lane if you know what you're doing and if you actually take the time to do it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Now in Battlefield V, I use the RPG to just level cover.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But yeaah, it's, it, and in that way, it's a pretty cool way to unify like the game mechanic of destructible buildings or semi-destructible buildings with making, or adding value to certain classes, because other classes don't have explosives like that. And yeaah, just...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, so in terms of pure mechanics, like Fortnite is, you bring up the thing, you click, and then it starts building and you can do other stuff. In Battlefield V,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But yea, you can't really multitask. If you're building fortifications, you're wide open, for one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, so you're either doing it before a fight's broken out or a fight has broken out and hopefully no one hits you while you're doing it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, Fortnite is just like, I'm gonna queue up all these builds while I'm fighting somebody and it doesn't really work that way.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And yea, you also can't build wherever you want. Which I, it works. It works with the game. If you could do that, it would be a different game entirely. But speaking of building...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Save some money, build your own couch with Burrow. Uh, they're sponsoring this podcast, so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, this is, this is another in many, a line of many fine services that allow you to order something online and get it directly to your house in cardboard boxes. Uh, Burrow is selling luxury couches online.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, assembly instructions and all of that. It's pretty cool. And, because this is, we're coming up on July 4th, or we are just after July 4th, depending on when you're listening to this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Burrow made in America. And I love America, so you should too. Uh, built in the same factories in North Carolina as other high-end retailers, but Burrow delivers them for much less with their innovative, award-winning design.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's pretty mid-century aesthetic, like some pretty cool, uh, hard, hard angles on everything, very angular, and I'm down with that. Uh, shipping is fast and free, unlike the rest of the furniture industry, and you can enjoy 30 days on your Burrow risk-free or try out Burrow at one of their showrooms today.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, top of all that, you can get $75 off your purchase by going to burrow.com slash dude. That's B-U-R-R-O-W dot com slash dude for $75 off your purchase. Real Americans buy couches. And real double super Americans build their own couches.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, I encourage you to be a triple American this July 4th and check out Burrow to hold that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That big American ass that we know you got. Actually, uh, our couch has been getting a little saggy. I, uh, I go through seating equipment pretty, pretty regularly. Uh, I do a lot of gaming, alright? And it's gotta hold this carriage. Your teal couch? Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I do too, but the Lawrence side of it is starting to get a little saggy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I need the uh, I need the calories to go to my brain, not to my core. I've got a concern.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is that how it works, James? The calories? Are you sure? Not at all. I don't know, I got that, I got those dog tags, so. Except I was playing on PC.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I never saw it. Oh wait, I did see that. Years ago. Do you think Shailene Woodley thinks she has a good career?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh wait, no, Molly Ringwald was in it. Still got it. She sings a theme song too. You guys know that? No.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, there's, there were no giraffe men, sadly. Uh, the ragdolls got a little jittery, which was kind of fun. They did, yeah. And if they were bleeding out, they were like, uh, uh, just kind of freaking out. Uhm, I like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That would be it. That would be it. I wouldn't be going home to my sexy virgin blonde wife in that case.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, is this, is Bruce gonna get a hot kill streak here? No, Lawrence is not. Oh no! Get him! Oh no! I'm missin' a lot!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think they ought to be. The World War I weaponry is funky. Just in turn, it was this weird transition of firearms, like automatic weaponry was just kinda getting going.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah, it made sense right away to me. So that was good. I don't think I just put in the time to battle if I wanted to get used to everything. But man, I couldn't hit anything that game for a while. So much fun.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, so yeaah, I guess, I guess that's, that's our rundown for Battlefield 5. I'm really looking forward to it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, yeaah, there are a couple of things that I thought were strange. I don't really get the play of vehicles in 5. The planes are really slow. Uhm, which...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I guess is to make it so people on the ground have a better chance of actually hurting them, substantially. In other Battlefield games, people would dive bomb or just fly way too fast and there's really nothing you can do.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, but I'm also, I was never very good at flying. So I don't really get the, the exchange of all the vehicles. Uhm, tanks are good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But one assault can pretty much take out a tank. You get three RPGs and dynamite. And that's enough to kill a tank by yourself.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, two assaults and you basically don't get anywhere. Tanks can self-heal, right? Like you just hold X. You hold X, but yea, it takes a really long time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You'll either keep everyone in cover, or you just get some chip damage on people.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Theoretically, the bomber is meant to be anti-armor, so if there's a tank that's killing a point, you get a bomber out to take it out, and then the fighters are anti-bombers, so then you have a bit of a, uh, a bit of a rock, paper, scissors thing going on.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, yeaah, I didn't really see the point, uh, at least on this map of the interchange of armor and airplanes. Having air superiority didn't seem to mean all that much.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But he never hit anyone. Like, he would drop bombs on points all the time and somehow never really get anybody. So I don't know if that's like a tweak thing, it's a radius explosion thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It is pretty cool to see a bomber level, like the aforementioned explosive houses. If a bomber strafes one of those, it just evaporates, and that's cool to see.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, so yeaah, I don't really get that, uhm. There aren't any more of-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, they, Battlefield 5 has Grand Conquest, which is supposed to, it's kind of like a newer version of Rush, is my understanding. You play a particular map, and then based on the relative, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Based on your relative performance, that'll roll into the next map. So, like one given map, I think I remember reading an example of like, oh the allies have to rush this place and destroy some artillery.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And depending on how many artillery guns you destroy, you go into the next map and now the enemy has whatever artillery is left.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So if you don't destroy any of them, then they can just shell you for the entire match.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hopefully that'll be fun. Uhm, I can't fight, I can't fight the feeling that if that happens and you get to the next match and you're just getting showed all the time, people will just quit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, hopefully people stick with it. It's a neat idea, I'm curious to see.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A man with, with the, with the new spotting.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And the ability to snipe, I guess that's always been the case. And if it's Battle Royale, I assume you have to drop and find weapons.


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[Assistant] But yea, I feel like sniping is going to be real strong in the Battle Royale mode. I mean, DICE knows what they're doing. They're good at designing games, so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm curious to see how, yeaah, in the battlefield ruleset, how, uh, a battle rail mode could work.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah that makes bleed out a lot more tense then. I didn't think about being able to revive.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, yeah. But who would revive you? I mean, unless, I guess it could be squad-based Battle Royale. Yeah, yeah. I mean, you can do one, two, or four just like any other, you know, Fortnite or PUBG or whatever.


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[Assistant] Yeah, just given how chaotic the game can be and how, uh, how death can come without warning.


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[Assistant] Walking around and some bullet from halfway across the world can go right to your brain and that's it. So, hm, yeaah, yeaah, it'll be interesting to see what it's like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, uh, okay, so yea, Battlefield 5 looks cool. Uh, couple of other interesting things going around the internet. I thought this was cute. Did you guys see the, uh, Battlefield, or sorry, the Grand Theft Auto 6 pokes? I did, yea, yea. This is, to me,


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[Assistant] That says Rockstar Message GTA 6 coming 2019 rockstargames.com


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Or like free, free GTA dollars go here. Something, yea, like yea.


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[Assistant] Uhm, but still, I, to my knowledge, I could be wrong, but I can't remember another game that has like a first party run service that has shit like this going on in it. Which, I'm not gonna say is, well actually, I've seen some pretty wild doodles in Splatoon, I'll throw that out there.


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[Assistant] I think that waves of bands go out all the time for GTLmine, but it's just...


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[Assistant] I think when games get that big, there's no way for this sort of thing to not happen. It's gonna- It's true. I guess Fortnite is the one game that hasn't really been just cracked open like an egg yet.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] For as many people that play it, I'd expect it to be just a dumpster fire. I don't know how they're protecting that service so well.


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[Assistant] Yeah, I mean that's what I would have, I mean I'm like hell yeah. Sweating bullets the whole time. Ah, this stuff takes me back. I love...


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[Assistant] I love stuff like this, because it kind of like James, you were saying like, it's a prank bro, but it's like, that's not a defense for putting a racial slur in something. It reminds me of back in like classic MMO territory.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Did this happen, like, at a specific time? So it only happened once?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's so wild too because like, Fortnite had, has the momentum and has capitalized on it in ways that Pokemon Go unfortunately seem to not.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Which is a bummer. Could you imagine if like Pokemon Go had this level of like refreshes and updates and stuff like that?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But yeaah, it's uh, it's been really cool.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Fortnite's one of those games, like, I guess you can play it casually, but I feel like...


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[Assistant] It's so cool. The people who are really good at it kind of experience a different game than I do when I play it. I want to play that game, but I don't want to put in the time necessary to be that good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I remember when I first started getting into fighting games in college and stuff, playing CBS2 and Third Strike, and I would get so pissed off because my friends were executing combos and stuff and it was all execution, I just needed to practice. But I didn't want


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] To go through the boredom of doing the same combo for an hour, just to make sure I had the muscle memory to do it when the opportunity arises.


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[Assistant] I'm real excited about that. What's that? I'm the only one who cares. It's a Tet Bruce. It's the perfect game. Get a load of this, alright? Tetris, already great, right? But combine that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Combine that with the star-studded talent behind such games as Rez, Luminous, and Child of Eden. That's right, Tetsuya Mizuguchi himself is making a Tetris game, Bruce. Hold on, I'll pull out the b-roll.


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[Assistant] I'm almost done with, uh, with Picross. Oh, Lawrence, you're gonna love this. Hell yea I am. It's in VR too.


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[Assistant] If you'll notice, there are some characters from other Tetsuya Mizuguchi games, like Sparkle Whale, that shows up in a minute here. Wait for Sparkle Whale. Ah, we all remember Sparkle Whale from Child of Eden, right? You gotta shoot the barnacles off of him. I like the music.


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[Assistant] Actually, I'll just let that music go. We can relax here. This podcast is sponsored by Casper, that will give you the most American night's sleep you've ever had.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, no, no sagging yet. It has retained its shape, which is great.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] An overall better sleep experience. You got your, your, uh, pillows and other accoutrement in the bedroom. You can basically get decked out from one website, which is pretty great. And of course, Casper mattresses are made in the USA, so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm a secret submissive. Uh, but the subs hold all the power at least. That's what I've learned.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, they say, considering that we spend a third of our lives on a mattress, it's important to truly sleep on a mattress before committing. So that's why you get a hundred night trial.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And using Dude Soup promo code at checkout. So thank you Casper, and I encourage all of you to get a good night's sleep. It'll help you open your mind to the Hare Krishna vibes of Tetris.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm so into this right now. So into it. It's just Tetris. I've been playing Tetris my entire life. I don't care. I don't care. When is Tetris going to get as popular as Fortnite? Actually, it kind of was. It was. It was, yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, actually I think if you add in all the different versions of it. I think we looked this up and I thought it was. Best video game ever made.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Who needs, who needs, uh, fucking rockets that crack reality? Nobody.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh yea, this one has- Yeah, this one's got little fire people. This guy worshiped fire god. Only made for stoners now. Yea. Don't you think it's weird that it took a while?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. I mean, COD was kind of a stoner game, but I don't know that it was designed specifically for that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But in addition to the psychedelic weird VR thing that I did at E3, it does seem like, I thought VR was a dead ringer. I'm like, this shit is made for people.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Only have the energy for this now. Imagine, VR helmet, there's fire people celebrating your Tetris well as you sink into a couch.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You need, you need a, a cyber shaman like me to guide people through their spiritual enlightenment.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, so that's exciting. That was an exciting moment this morning when I found that on some random person's YouTube channel.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But yeaah, Kath and Toad or whatever. Uh, I'm excited actually. Uh, so,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] At a glance, Monument Valley is the game that it seems similar to and that there is sort of a, it's perspective based visual puzzles about switches and like platforms and things like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And that's it. And that's not a bad thing, but there's a lot of things they didn't get right in that transition. Whereas Mario 64 beat it to the market.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I like Crash 1 is rough, but I still keep playing it, so I don't know what the deal is. But yea, there's so many other better platformers.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So they did crash. Were they Jack and Daxter? Or was that Sucker Punch? I can't remember. That was Ratchet and Clank. That was Insomniac. Who's Jack and Daxter?


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[Assistant] Oh, Bruce, I got something for you to read. Alright! Speaking of nostalgia.


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[Assistant] Alright, so Last Jedi ruined everything good in this world. And kind of like, uh, when Taxation Without Representation ruined everything good, a handful of very heroic people


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Stood up and said, no more. Courageous. No more will we, you take our money, we're gonna shoot you until you die.


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[Assistant] And, uh, I think it's about time that the fans of Star Wars have done the same.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it took one brave soul to punch up a weird graphic about it.


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[Assistant] Alright, so this is a declaration, uh, from the fans of Star Wars, collectively. Shut up!


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[Assistant] But you didn't grow up with Rome. You didn't buy decades of merch for Rome. She's a lifelong fan. She's a lifelong fan.


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[Assistant] I'm gonna throw this out there. I think Last Jedi


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[Assistant] To the rest of the Star Wars films is basically what Matrix Reloaded was, and everything is like The Matrix. That's true. But, so The Matrix Reloaded bit off way more than a sequel to The Matrix needed to, or the audience really asked it to. It got into weird philosophical Greek shit about what is reality and all that stuff. Which, you know, that was implied, but Last Jedi went whole ham into like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Assuming that you're the hero and the damage that can cause and not trusting people to do their jobs right. All this cool, nuanced stuff that Star Wars has never been about.


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[Assistant] You know how like Luke basically was astral projecting and disappeared?


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[Assistant] And I don't know why this didn't occur to me before, but that's exactly what Obi-Wan did.


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[Assistant] That opens up like this whole possibility space where Obi-Wan was not on Tatooine ever.


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[Assistant] Or like he was never on the Millennium Falcon, like he was projecting that whole time, or at least during that fight. Makes you wonder.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Mac Weldon believes in smart design, premium fabrics, and simple shopping. Uh, their website is actually laid out really well. It's easy to find what you're looking for. They've got all the colors on display.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That seems like a trivial thing to talk about, but I've been to some pretty garbage websites before, so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It is pretty easy to navigate. Stock up, stock up your, uh, stock up your cart with all sorts of goodies.


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[Assistant] They have a line of silver underwear and shirts, naturally antimicrobial, it's baked into the fabrics. So yeaah, it's anti-stank, and there's no better way to celebrate this July 4th than not smelling. Even if it's the 5th.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They also have, like every good American, ultimate confidence in their product and their work.


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[Assistant] So they want you to be comfortable. If you don't like your pair, your first pair of Mack Weldens, you can just keep it. And they'll still refund you, no questions asked.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So you should give it a shot. Uh, you can start with just one pair, and if you find that you like it, you can eventually deck out your whole underwear drawer, your whole sock drawer. It's basically taking over my...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My drawers already, uh, and not only do they look good, but they perform well, good for working out. I wear, uh,


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[Assistant] So that's 20% off everything you ordered from MackWeldon.com using our promo code SUP. So I encourage you to check them out, especially if, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Not, not my Mack Weldens. Ever since I got, ever since they first sponsored the podcast, like two years ago, I've been using the same underwear, the same socks, and...


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[Assistant] Alright, so yea, that's an alpha, but yea, pretty good stuff. Alright, let's uh, let's net hard. Smash that button Omar. Yes!


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[Assistant] They're so different, Bruce. I don't know how you could not tell the difference.


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[Assistant] So, from last week, the reigning champion, Nicky Crush, coming in, smashing things. Let's see what the latest squish is. Is it still two Crushers in one car?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This one's a bit of an oldie, but a goodie. Uhm, you guys may be familiar with it already. Uhm, Mr. John Sakars is the world, or the internet's sexiest vegan.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, you already, didn't you already do this one? I didn't know. Did I? I think you did. Okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Some of this stuff kind of requires a lot of research first.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Class President Ojosama, I think I've seen that. Anyway.


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[Assistant] Uh, so yea, Nikki Crush is over there still crushing, but we can put it to a vote. Yep, there it is. Alright, uh, James, Nikki Crush or Ohoho Josama?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Street Fighter V. It's gotta be Kareen, right? Her- her- Super. She does like the twirl punch. Yes!


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[Assistant] Fuck yeaah. You did it when she did it? Yeaah. I only used Kareem because she did the laugh. And it's actually really easy to hit that super, so. Uh, what else we got?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, alright, we got a new champion. Who knows what'll unseat it, but you'll have to wait till next week to find out. On that note, I'd like to thank you guys for tuning into the podcast this week.


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[Assistant] Whether you're watching on YouTube or downloading the podcast or it's just playing in the background somewhere and...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Learn about Battlefield V, hopefully we provided some good information for you, or?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My only problem with Mad Libs is that while I feel like my grammar's okay, sometimes it gets very specific and so it'll be like, alright, now a future imperfect verb. And I'm like, what?


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[Assistant] I mean, how could you possibly get rid of them, even though they'd all fit on a thumb drive this big? Especially movies that they record off of the TV.


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[Assistant] No, I always thought it'd be funny if- Oh! Is that Santa?


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[Assistant] Before Christmas self, pre-Christmas self, I was a little worried. Why? Because a lot of times Elise will like say, what do you want for Christmas? She's like very upfront, just tell me what you want for Christmas. Yeah. And I've told her like two or three things and then she'll go, but what do you really want?


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[Assistant] Except what I really want are those two or three things that I mentioned. But I feel like she just doesn't wanna get me that. So I'm worried that maybe she's gotten me something else that she thinks I really want. But what I actually want are those three basic things.


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[Assistant] You drill that into the toilet. And then, how do you unlock it?


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[Assistant] It just seems like, it just seems like most of the letters are the same letters but backwards. Yea. Right? Like that seems like a joke language.


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[Assistant] There was a throwing knives box. Yes. And is there always a throwing knives box? I think it changes. That was just, that was their cool thing that you can choose for that month that you decided to do it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Good Boris. He knows that his leaders have his best interests at heart. And so he doesn't question any of that. Man.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Listen to all of your BMX top tricks. It works with Mac and PC, mobile.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I actually like it. You go there, you have a store.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] See these lovelies as they suck so hard that they could probably draw a golf ball through 50 feet of garden hose. Why would anyone want that? The photos on this disc are in GIF format and very easy to view. Simply insert the CD, type go,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm trying to be transparent too, like that was the thing that I wanted to do the most with those posts was to warn you guys and basically let you know like, hey, these changes are coming, we're going to be making less videos on the YouTube channel.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, ideally they'll have a little more time to cut, they'll have a few more bits here and there, a live action bit, more photoshopped or less photoshopped, whatever. Something that ideally makes the video a little funnier, but also,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We'll be making lots of big stuff this year. Uhm, and that is exactly why we are pre-taping this podcast, and it is not live. It's because we are shooting something currently, uhm, that we have been spending weeks and weeks of time on. Uh, and lots of man hours, and lots of brain power, and all that other stuff.


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[Assistant] Uh, and this isn't the only thing we're doing this year.


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[Assistant] It was probably, I think that was the way it was read, was that like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We're making, so the larger stuff that we're making, like, it's coming up, uhm, and,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's, it takes, like I said, it takes like hundreds of thousands of dollars and lots of manpower and all this other stuff that you haven't seen yet. So, it's hard, I know it's really hard.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] One thing that I know a lot of people, especially on YouTube, don't understand about production, uhm, and I'm not talking down to you guys, it's more of like, there are things that we'll do in production that just don't get used. Uhm, and like, sometimes you'll produce a segment, and you'll take two days to produce something, and it goes, ah, we had to cut it for time. That happened all the time when I worked on television.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Stuff happens here too, where we do stuff and we're like, you know what, we made a Photoshop. Let's just not air it. Let's just not air it. It didn't work in the joke too bad. But somebody spent two hours on that Photoshop. Well, that same thing applies to much larger projects where we have to write for days or weeks.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, somebody, as we're getting at Greenlit, as we're making the show, as it's developing, someone along the way, in the process goes, we gotta cut that sketch. That sketch doesn't work because of, you used this brand, or because of, it's not funny, or because of whatever other reason.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, and so the GTA thing, every time it comes up I go, maybe, and then I go, and then I look back.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And what the GTA video did that week, and I go, it's just as good as every other week, and if not, it's growing. And that's what's so weird about GTA, is that I see this comment over and over and over, it's like, I'm tired of GTA, I think you guys are tired of it, they're bad videos, whatever. Uhm, you know, like, it's, we're so over it. But then every time I put a GTA video up, people watch the shit out of it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And they, and there are so many comments on the video saying they loved it so much, and they loved this bit, and a lot of our most memorable content comes from GTA. So it's a very strange thing that I don't know quite how


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It is our Minecraft, for sure. Also, just so you guys know, I love sitting down, uh, and playing GTA because it's like, it is literally me sitting down with my friends and playing a video game.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I love doing it and even though like we come up with bits or whatever, I think it's just really fun. Uh, and I also love playing with you guys. That's another thing that that GTA series brings that I don't think we do anywhere else on the channel. We don't play games with, with fans other than GTA and I love doing it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I see different, different names every week. Every single week. I don't see, like, I see the same for, you know, like Turbid. Turbid's the guy I see every time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well we also did upgrade our webcam. It was like 6 months ago when the Logitech Brio came out. It's a 4K webcam. You can only get the 1440p. 1440p at 30 frames, right? Yeaah. Once it goes to 4K it'll be...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Something I see a lot of streamers complain about, which is, and I'm not saying it's, it's interesting because I'm always like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, there are two sides to the coin, which is, number one, they're a streamer, that was, they decided to do that, and now they have a business, and they're almost an obligation, because that's how they're making their living. Uhm, and yeaah, you know, I get it, so everybody's like, well you're just playing video games for a living, and, uh, I think they would say, and they have said,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That it's tiring to do a six hour stream for seven days a week or whatever. Whatever they're doing. And it can be. They're humans too. Uh, and that's the thing that I think a lot of, maybe a lot of people don't know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you start thinking about it from a human perspective, because we're not actors, we're not playing characters, we are people who come into work and do meetings and talk on the phone and do a lot of other logistical bullshit in addition to shooting a comedy video. Uh, so we're humans, we get tired too.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was trying to strike a balance there, because the balance is really important. Like if we're tired of Hitman, that was one of the reasons we went seasonal with Demodisc, Wheelhouse, whatever. It's because we had done so many of them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So many weeks in a row that we were like, boy, it'd be great if we just had a change. We're not gonna stop making videos for 10 weeks or whatever. We'll just change it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And that's what we did. And actually, for me, it's kind of, kind of fun because now I have to turn my brain on a little bit more. Because before when I was like, alright, this is the 130th demo disc, I know what we're going to do. Uh, I'm like, oh, is this a Hitman or a Wheelhouse or a demo disc? Like, which one is it?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I love that. It makes me, it makes me feel a little more alive when I get in there and sit down and talk about, you know, bad video games. Also the hand job that I gave you. The hand job always helps. I always stab myself.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So yes. 3, probably 310-ish. Really? What time is it? 3 53. What time is it?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, yeaah, we've been trying to work on that. I've been working on that for a little bit, actually.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's another thing I saw in the comments a lot, where it was like, it's becoming too scripted. I was like, scripted? I mean, if I had a script, man.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like content or streaming content or whatever else, you're making it daily.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Almost hourly at times. Uh, yeah, there's no time to stop. It just kinda keeps going. And we, we have actually tried to build in time this year to stop and like take a little break. Uh, but then we ended up filling up with other projects.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] One thing I should say to the audience that I think maybe you wouldn't understand now or you'll understand in the future or whatever is that we're trying to do different things because


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It helps us creatively. So think of it as, it's like, let's say you work at a normal job, like a desk job or whatever, a data entry, and you go home and you're like, I love my hobby. My hobby is to blank, build models.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, either larger or just different or whatever else, uh, as somebody who is creative. And I, I believe, firmly believe that everybody is creative in some way. Uhm, and when you don't, when you feel like you're getting stale in your creativity,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And you want to move on and grow a little more, then it starts to get really like, uh, you start to get antsy about it. And that was something that I think a lot of us felt.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, and that was what this year was for, for us to try and grow as an audience. Yes, show it off to people, but also to do it for ourselves so that we feel like we are growing as artists and as creatives and as people.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So hopefully that sheds a little more light on what we're trying to do, uh, besides just, you know, look at porn, basically.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We didn't clean that up. Did someone vacuum in there? Yea, we absolutely cleaned it up. Like, 100%. I, like, I actually had the, well, we didn't. I asked the janitor to vacuum before they moved in. Yea, the shards are gone. But, I mean, we also cleaned up those, we moved those shards. I picked them up and put them in the trash.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And the very same thread, that thread, I saw so many other comments saying, we want more video games. So that guy's like, we want more of you, and I saw other ones like, we want more games. It's like there's a balance there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, they brought up the point about the audience, like not knowing what the audience wants or not. And they're right, the audience is very large. There are millions of perspectives. And that's our job as the audience gets larger to try and figure out what everybody wants, what the broadest audience wants. So along the way, we're not going to please everybody all the time. It's just part of it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But at the same time, uh, I think Adam was making those sorts of videos on his channel to sort of please those people that really wanted to see more Adam.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That makes a lot of sense to me. I was streaming Zelda because if you wanted to see more of Bruce, I don't know why you would, then you would go and watch me play Zelda for hours on end, which is stupid. But uhm, again, it's like those are things that if you wanted to, you could pursue them. Uh, when we have time, we try and do them outside of work.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But not always, like James said, sometimes we just want to have a weekend where we're not, where we're just like this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's a juxtaposition there, because Blazing Saddles is written very cleverly, it's very funny in general, and then they also have fart jokes. Same with the rest of the developments, like, they have some of the best writing on television, and then like, Martin Short gets thrown by a heavy man, right? Yeah, like, that's not clever, that's just physical humor, and it's funny and stupid. They do a great job at the start, exactly.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What they're ideas are and what they wanna do, uh, and I've tried, I've actually, me personally, tried to set a goal for myself where every time someone says, I wanna do this thing, I don't


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[Assistant] I don't just immediately say no. I want to try and figure out how to make it work because


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[Assistant] Uhm, just like we want to feel creatively fulfilled, everybody else wants to feel creatively fulfilled. So that's, a lot of the times an editor will suggest, I want to do this cool live action thing. And all of us are like, yep, you just tell us when and we'll be there. Uh, and that's, that's ideally what we're looking for there.


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[Assistant] That's, that's normal. Stings, don't it? It's one of those things where I've, I hear people say,


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[Assistant] I know you feel this way. I've read this comment a hundred thousand times about a bunch of different things. I know you feel this way even though you said something different.


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[Assistant] How in the world do you know? How do you feel? You've never even met me. Maybe, if you came and talked to me and known me for ten years, you might know. Maybe.


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[Assistant] But that's a thing that I see a lot of people saying. I'm always like, I don't know if you really know that or not. I can't even say that about some of my closest friends and like my family if I'm like, I know you thought that. If they didn't think that and they tell me they didn't think that, I gotta believe them.


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[Assistant] It's basically like, as the time when it finishes editing, it's the way we used to be actually. The time when it finishes editing, it'll air the next day.


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[Assistant] There's so many good videos that we've made. I can't wait for you to see them. I was just looking at the list and I was like,


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[Assistant] People that come into DudeSuper, like people we know, will talk about anything and do it really well, like Freddie. Freddie's so good. Freddie's fantastic. I just want to hang out with that guy. You give him like a day's notice or whatever, he shows up and we'll talk for two hours. He's walking wikipedia.


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[Assistant] Oh yeaah, I mean like, there are lots of times where it usually will, like so actually a really good example is when the Four Hymns thing, I was, people were like, why are you marketing drugs to kids? And I was like, woah woah woah woah. Our demographic is this. And I gave them stats, they asked more questions, I gave them more stats, they asked more questions. And basically just kind of ended up going down a rabbit hole of,


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[Assistant] Originally they just, they wanted to say you're marketing drugs to kids. So I gave them


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[Assistant] Yeah, and well that's the thing is that a lot of people, uhm, some of the comments I read on that thread were like, you know what, you should just not comment.


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[Assistant] And I've heard the exact opposite a lot of other times, which is like, make sure you interact with your audience, make sure you're transparent. That's one of the things that I love, me personally love doing, being transparent with the audience so that they know what's going on, so that if you ask us a question, we'll actually answer it. If you're like, why did you do it this way? We'll tell you why.


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[Assistant] Uhm, but the more that I do it, and the more I kinda go down rabbit holes with people, the more I'm like, I don't, was it even worth it? You know, like did I change a mind? I don't know, I'm not sure.


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[Assistant] How do we do that? Like how do we split the audience or how do we, I guess right now the answer's been


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[Assistant] Uhm, and hopefully our audience will like it. Uh, and that's, that's sort of what we ended up doing, but like, like you said, the demo discs in the wheelhouse, like we haven't hit some massive, uh,


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[Assistant] You know, uhm, I guess franchise, that would be perfect for, uh, first membership only. Uhm, that's, and all that stuff.


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[Assistant] It's true, but, uh, no, yeaah, it was, it, like, programming meaning what videos we're gonna do, when they go up, uh,


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[Assistant] Like who we're marketing into, et cetera, et cetera. That's what programming a channel or programming a network is. And that's kind of what, like, I end up doing a lot of the time at my job. And Joel used to do it before that. And I learned a lot from Joel. And he always said it's half art, half science. Because...


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[Assistant] Some of it was just feeling. I remember Joel would say like, well we know these videos don't do well but they add texture to the channel. Uhm, which I always liked that because


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[Assistant] There, there were things like, uh, Funhouse Shorts are a good example. Uhm, those videos never did very well for the time, for the amount of time that we put into them, but there are things that we like to do.


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[Assistant] Uhm, and they added texture. Like, it was like a, you saw gameplay, gameplay, gameplay, podcast, gameplay, gameplay. Funhouse short. And so that would kind of throw people off, the fans of Funhouse would be like, oh, that looks like something new. And they'd go check it out and be like, hmm, I guess they can kind of branch out and do something different. Uhm, I think,


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[Assistant] There's that half heart, which is listening to your heart. Uh, and then there's the science of it, which is a lot of, again, that's a lot of what I'm doing too, which is I'm looking at numbers. I'm looking at like,


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[Assistant] How many viewers, how many views does this video have? How engaged were they? Uh, what was their audience retention? What's their demographic? Like,


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[Assistant] Uhm, that's the science part of it, and that's the data-driven part of it. And we're both. We do both. Uhm, and...


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[Assistant] Boy is it a hard thing to do. Man oh man oh man. It seems like it doesn't get any easier. That's what's weird to me, is that I feel like I, some days it's really easy and other days I'm just...


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[Assistant] No, come on. Sorry, sorry guys. Sorry Paul brothers.


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[Assistant] Well there's an interesting, uh, well actually a good example right now is the Yanni Laurel thing. And like the blue and gold dress.


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[Assistant] It's, it was funny, I was listening to people on the radio talk about it today, and they were like, no it's Laurel, no it's Yanni, and like they were getting upset at each other.


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[Assistant] Whoa, that's a cool analogy for humanity. It is. Because basically,


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[Assistant] Everyone has their own perspective, but if you can see the other person's perspective.


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[Assistant] Then I feel like you become a better human being just in general. Uhm, and I've been trying to do that.


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[Assistant] All the time on the subreddit or on YouTube comments or whatever is see your perspective, try and figure it out, uh, and then go, but at the end of the day, we're still running our channel. Uhm, we're still running the Funhaus channel the best way we know how.