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[Assistant] I don't know, like all that joking about, you know, maybe we should focus more on the draft or we should, I'll give you a hundred thousand dollars to throw like games. I don't know. Like, I feel like you could take that. And that's what Flores said. Like that was one of the statements. His disappointment is like his disappointment of the fact that that isn't being punished.


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[Assistant] But that's the thing, I think context matters for Calvin Ridley though. The fact that he had like no communication with the team. Like I, I understand, I completely agree with Trey. Like understand like betting on the games as a player, bad. Even though we know all the players do it, they just do it through like their cousin or somebody else.


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[Assistant] My point is that, I think, with Ridley, like, I think half the season would have been justified. Like, suspend him eight games and be like, hey, you do it again, it's a year. You know what I mean? Because it didn't actually impact the integrity of the game.


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[Assistant] In my opinion, just because he had no communication with, like he had no, like sway on the outcome or anything like, oh Matt, how's your knee doing today? You know, if there was none of that, I don't, I don't know.


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[Assistant] Ian Rapport tell him that he could survive in a Russian prison?


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[Assistant] I just, I think Ian now has to go to a Russian prison and he still has to be able to send out all the NFL updates, but it has to be in Russian.


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[Assistant] That's the new, that is the new punishment. We have to go to Russia and survive.


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[Assistant] True. Okay. Send the pudding Kenny throughout the season if Mitch struggles.


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[Assistant] Jair had some tightness, but again, Romeo, uh, Dobbs, cause they-


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[Assistant] People say Dubs, but he said Dobbs, so it's just confusing. Anyway, Romeo Dobbs, uh, is having an incredible camp. Jordan Love actually had a really good practice, like arguably the best one of his three years that he's been in there. Uh, that was coming from Rogers, that was coming from Matt LaFleur, that he was playing really, really well yesterday. So I was like, ahhhh.


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[Assistant] So, just saying. Watch out if Jordan Love is the next Hall of Fame QB.


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[Assistant] Because he was like, wasn't he like one of the most penalized offensive linemen in college football?


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[Assistant] Yeah, just driving people into the ground. I'm like, oh boy, that's gonna be a lot of holding penalties.


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[Assistant] I'm just saying that DeAndre Hopkins deal that they did completely broke the market because then Devonte Adams turned around and said, I want that much money.


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[Assistant] Oh, real quick, real quick, real quick, real quick, real quick, real quick, because people have been asking, right? Perna, you're good for the 25th, right?


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[Assistant] You're good for the 25th, right? Okay, ladies and gentlemen, because they've been asking.


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[Assistant] Clickbait D&D will be on August 25th. Okay? Thursday, August 25th, we got a professional DM coming in.


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[Assistant] 20, 19, 18, 17, 16, 15, 4. Just how many of the Cowboys receivers are gonna score? Nuh-uh. And I guess that's right, they got no one to throw the ball to.


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[Assistant] Let's just not talk about the Packers, cause they're in a similar situation, and honestly, then it makes me look like a hypocrite if I'm bashing them, so I mean, it could be.


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[Assistant] Rabbits, you're not looking at the rabbits. You'll find out. But I wanna tend the rabbits. You can't look at them, just look at the rabbits.


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[Assistant] It was in bits, apparently bought, bought you bits. Oh, yes.


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[Assistant] Great. I got Friday night. Are we doing GPS tomorrow, partner? Probably not.


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[Assistant] There's like nothing really talking about. Okay, fine. Alright, so Friday night Q&A tomorrow. No coach on Saturday. Tom gets his Saturday back.


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[Assistant] First time in two months. But folks, we send you out with this. Thank you so much for watching Clickbait Sports. Godspeed.


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[Assistant] You have to dilute it with some water or else it's just gonna be just too sugary, too sappy. I'm trying to watch my fingers.


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[Assistant] Sometimes. It depends. I mean, the health situation in Milwaukee's inner city hasn't really gone too well, so.


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[Assistant] I would say the most surprising part was that there wasn't a dead body lying in the creek. I know usually what I do is I usually take little pieces


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[Assistant] Of a human brain like this.


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[Assistant] I mean, with Dan Snyder, all you have to do is stash a few people in your fridge. I know that's probably the dirt he has on people. I completely understand what that's about. And if Dan Snyder wants to kill a bitch, let him do it. Oh, wow. I just realized Scooter's back. Yeah. Well, he's on screen.


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[Assistant] I would probably say Don Corleone, you know, that the old guys who've been there for a while, mostly respected, beloved. I would also argue Steven Ross's Fredo because he is completely useless.


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[Assistant] The only person I feel is wrong is the cameraman because he is the type of person I would drug and take home with me at night.


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[Assistant] Yeah, I'll take a look. This guy ran into me once. I'm still gnawing on it. It's been about three weeks.


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[Assistant] Like jerky? Mhm. Is that? Exactly, Wallflower, exactly.


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[Assistant] Don't be careful. I'll meet you at a bar sometime. I have a nice little concoction. I call it, uh, blood mixed with, uh, benzodiazepine. You should try it sometime.


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[Assistant] Then why do they call NFL champions world champions?


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[Assistant] I was also pretty good at shoving, uh, certain types of cheese.


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[Assistant] Well, they played the Buffalo Bills and they got destroyed. Personally, I am putting out a bounty for a certain Matt Canada and Mike Tomlin and every single piece of the Pittsburgh Steelers organization. And I want a few of their body parts for myself so I can be reminded of the trauma they gave me.


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[Assistant] The main problem is that there was nothing going on there. Mike Tomlin has been extremely passive. His big thing is always not living in her spheres, yet you're down by multiple scores. You're still trying to kick field goals in the red zone.


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[Assistant] Steelers are going to the Tank Bowl and then I'm going to take the people in that tank and then stuff them in my freezers in the basement.


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[Assistant] If you need a volunteer for somebody to kill, Nathaniel Hackett, I will gladly offer you services.


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[Assistant] Well, it's Jerry Jones' 80th birthday today, and I would say meat always tastes better with age.


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[Assistant] I have Washington winning this 14 to 10.


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[Assistant] And the public is, is cheering because Dan Snyder sacrificed at the 50 yard line. And I also take his hand.


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[Assistant] As token of my satisfaction.


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[Assistant] I'm coming out with human remains from my bowels.


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[Assistant] Rookie year, my rookie year, we were playing in the, uh, in the preseason. I went to rip off, I was shedding off a block and the offense lineman was like hanging onto me like this.


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[Assistant] Derrick Henry, I never thought was tough to tackle. Like he runs kind of tall, but the way Marshawn was built and the way he ran a ball, yeaah.


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[Assistant] Okay, so you were 2 grand away, right? So we're at 23, 25. So if he raises $1,000 within this hour, he switches to the pink shirt. If he raises $2,000 through those links, the shirt comes off entirely.


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[Assistant] Shirtless, that's it folks. So donate through the links in the description. 100% is going to this fantastic organization, a charity. And if we raise $2,000, Brandon Perna is going to be doing the entire workout shirtless, which everybody and their mother wants to see.


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[Assistant] Is $1,195 away from his total goal. $195 away from changing into a pink shirt. And a reminder that every $100 means 10 pull-ups.


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[Assistant] This is gross. I mean, I thought it was gross before this. So, I mean, it just seems like when you have...


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[Assistant] There's a whole moral aspect of it, but just everything looks bad.


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[Assistant] And the thing that is being added to this now is now are the Texans going to be held somewhat liable for this? Because the Texans, and I know many Texans fans,


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[Assistant] $65 away from getting the pink shirt and $1,065 away from no shirt.


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[Assistant] Again, the links are in the description, all of our chats, our chats and also our description, so.


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[Assistant] This year's first round pick from the Browns, so they already picked somebody.


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[Assistant] I'm saying if we go win a Super Bowl, and in two years, quite honestly, if nothing comes of this, you know, in terms of like, what, the NFL suspending or whatever,


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[Assistant] I just know, like, I just wanna know how Tree got into Perna's basement. Like was that something that was planned ahead of time?


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[Assistant] I'm curious on just how Goodell is going to handle some type of punishment because he is going to get a wave of bad PR regardless of what he does.


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[Assistant] They're already there, they get to relax, they get to be on vacation right now.


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[Assistant] They cheated. Their hope was two inches above where it should be.


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[Assistant] Honestly, no, like that movie was my favorite Disney movie, and now that movie's forever changed for me in a negative way. Why? Because you figured out, you filmed there.


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[Assistant] Yeah, so like, again, there's only two males in that entire movie besides Simba, and that is Lufasa, and Scar. And I was corrected saying that Scar was exiled, meaning...


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[Assistant] Basically, what I'm saying is can you hear the love tonight is playing and you hear the faint sound of a banjo, like it's just, it's right there, so, it ruined my life.


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[Assistant] He's doing it after the game, correct? So like he can't proactively, like retroactively go back and score more points. So like I don't see how that's impacting his dedication. He's playing the game and then doing it after the game is concluded. It's not like he's stopping mid game calling a timeout and he's like, hold on coach. All right guys, this, uh, this stream is brought to you by...


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[Assistant] If it's halftime or something, like I could see, okay, like there, there may be a problem there because you should be focusing on being on with the team and in the locker room. After the game, I don't care if it's literally the whistle just went off and you're like, okay, now I go back on my podcast. Cause why not?


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[Assistant] Fakeness that goes along with it because you literally tell like your teammates when you're mic'd up.


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[Assistant] There's, they say like some generic, oh yeah, you know, we gotta play better, uh, on the boundary and then, uh, you know, we're gonna take advantage of the opportunities and, uh, okay, thanks. Bye. Like it's, there is a level of like.


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[Assistant] I guess, like, actually see, like, what it looks like. Like, the Lions, for example, like, they just put out, like, their whole draft video and, like, seeing, like, their boardroom and stuff. Like, I thought that was awesome. Like, cause I'm just interested in that stuff. But, like, the whole, let me ask you some questions while you're in the middle of the game that you're just gonna give general answers to. Meh.


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[Assistant] So like, I put out a very facetious tweet and just like, where are they getting all the money for this? Because they did just make two like, enormous deals with two great players. But really, they're just pushing it into the future. I mean, it is obviously estimated.


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[Assistant] That you're going to see the cap go up tremendously over the next couple of years because of the TV deals, the gambling that money that's going to hit there. You know, that's not to mean that you could just spend frivolously, but at the same time, you know, you're


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[Assistant] You're basically opening the window a little bit longer. The Packers are doing it right now with the guys like Aaron Rodgers and eventually like it's gonna come due. You know, the cap isn't real. Yeah, like it's funny because you can see the teams manipulate the cap, but eventually like they're gonna have to like something's gonna happen. They'll restructure in the


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[Assistant] Yeah, that's accurate. Cause that's what everyone wants to hear.


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[Assistant] I was supposed to be there at this game. I let you guys down. I take full responsibility for the L. It's on me. It's not on you guys. It's on me.


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[Assistant] Yeah, can you guys set this up? How did this come about? What were the vibes and then what actually happened yesterday? Five, set the table for us.


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[Assistant] Before you continue, are you meaning to tell me that you set this whole thing up literally just by asking? You're like, yo, y'all want to do this? And they were like, sure.


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[Assistant] Chat, real quick, who do y'all have winning the finals? Y'all got the Celtics or Warriors? Leave a comment right now.


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[Assistant] It can't be Warriors and Fords. Like that would just be too anti-climatic. It's gotta be maybe five, five, six.


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[Assistant] And talk about this game, the lightning getting bodied, game one. Listen, okay? It's game one!


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[Assistant] The Rangers have been known to take teams to game sevens. Okay, they are a game seven team, five or three. You guys have way more expertise in this area with the NHL. What did you see in this game? Did you watch this, uh, lightning game last night?


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[Assistant] It's interesting because really the only thing I know about hockey right now is that Vasilevsky is goaded and this man folded game one. So it's going to be interesting to see what happens. Tree, what did you see in this game?


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[Assistant] In your guys opinions, and then we can switch it up and talk about something else, but in your guys opinions, how important is the goalie play during the playoffs? Like is it as important as the QE in football? Or is it maybe, I'm not sure, like obviously it's the goalie, but like,


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[Assistant] Can a goalie literally change the whole game?


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[Assistant] Did anyone consider bunting at any point in time? Dude, we don't, we didn't come there to bunt, okay? Cause I just want, I just, if I could get on the base, I'm stealing home. I don't care.


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[Assistant] If we are going to be doing this every year, I 100% will be out there next year. I couldn't make it out this year because I had a funeral that I had to attend.


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[Assistant] But it sounds like this was a great time all around for everyone who came.


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[Assistant] Yeah, I heard that like these guys were not taking it easy on you. These guys were going ninety per ninety five percent.


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[Assistant] Question tree, if you could change anything, what would it be?


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[Assistant] Yeah, I'm about to start preparing right now. I too have never played organized baseball tree, so I might need a year, a year of practice.


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[Assistant] That sucks. That dude was a beast when he was at Dallas. This Marion Barber. I loved him. Maybe we, you guys want to start with this news and then we'll get into everything else? This is some of the most tragic news that I have seen as a Dallas Cowboy fan, mainly because Dez Bryant


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[Assistant] Literally anticipated something like this happening to Marion Barber only for it to then happen to Marion Barber.


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[Assistant] We are seeing a lot of these football players dying.


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[Assistant] And a lot of people are starting to raise their question.


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[Assistant] Death, this untimely death, and you have the death of Dwayne Haskins most recently, and it's just like, what is going on?


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[Assistant] What is going on? So, I don't know. I'm in still just utter disbelief when that news came.


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[Assistant] It's just, I don't even know. Like, if you're the NFL, you're looking at this, what, what do you do? You're the NFL. I don't even know, like, what should the NFL be doing in this situation?


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[Assistant] And I don't know like what the NFL currently does for like.


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[Assistant] Alumni essentially for the NFL. I don't know if they have an organization that you can go to.


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[Assistant] And to help you out with finances, to help you out with medical expenses. I've got no clue. But if they don't have anything like that.


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[Assistant] This is your job. This is your literal job to provide for these players. So, let's provide for them.


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[Assistant] Because 10, 15, 20 years from now, I think we will see some players, and it might be a class action.


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[Assistant] It might be something else with this CTE. So if I were the NFL, I would get ahead of all of this and I would start now implementing something that says, look, we tried this. We did this. We were researching this. You cannot say that we did. We were not for the players and player safety because look at everything we did.


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[Assistant] Yeah, it literally is like, we're gonna have to see more people die, essentially, uh, before anything gets done, is where we're at right now. So...


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[Assistant] Yeah, so, uh, whose report was this? No, I'm referring to the report that the, uh...


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[Assistant] Yes, so basically what happened was a viewer of Clickbait, Sir Random Guy,


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[Assistant] On this report. So we are going to read some of the highlights or the whole report. I don't know what we're going to do, but we're going to read some of this guy's report for you.


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[Assistant] I mean, we can't transition to NBA if we want to. We can come over here. You guys wanna talk about NBA?


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[Assistant] Listen, I've had longer. That's all. That's literally it. I've just been doing it longer. You're on the way. All of us are on the way. Now, transition. NBA Finals.


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[Assistant] Uh, let's talk about retirements though. Like we've been, a lot of people retired.


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[Assistant] All of a sudden. We did talk about that though. Oh, we did.


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[Assistant] Okay, guys, I got the question. I got the question for the stream, okay? Answer along in chat, if you will with me. When you think of Ryan Fitzpatrick, in your mind,


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[Assistant] What was the name of that other show? Same, like same type of premise. Stump the Swami.


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[Assistant] I-I'm glad everyone's here, I'm glad that- And honestly, I think the sports community needs more people, cause it's very few of us still doing this. So, if you guys have ever considered making sports videos,


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[Assistant] Should we talk about the NBA finals taking place, game one taking place today? We got the Warriors, the Dynasty.


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[Assistant] Warrior Steph Curry, Clay Thompson, Wiggins now coming into his own, taking on the Boston Celtics. We got Jason Tatum. This man is over here texting Kobe Bryant before game saying, I got you. And then putting up buckets. Uh, what do you guys have? Have you guys been following the NBA?


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[Assistant] Yeah, he knows it. A lot of people were kind of rubbed the wrong way that he even posted it online. Uh, very interesting, very interesting. But have you guys been following NBA at all? Do you guys know what's happening? Do you have a dog in this fight?


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[Assistant] All Boston franchises. The flopping against the Bucks? No. I don't even know why, but like, I do not want any Boston team to win anything, ever! So, bye.


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[Assistant] By default, I am rooting for the Warriors and Four.


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[Assistant] I can understand if you dislike the Warriors when they had Kevin Durant. I can understand you disliking the move for Kevin Durant going to a team that beat him in the finals and then teaming up with him. I can understand that.


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[Assistant] What I cannot understand though is now, if you still dislike the Warriors, Kevin Durant is not on that team anymore. This is the team that they have drafted this team. You understand? They drafted Steph. They drafted Clay. They're not over here.


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[Assistant] Getting a big three from Kyrie signing and Kevin Durant, no!


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[Assistant] But I would like to know in the chat too, if you're rooting for Boston, why? Because I've seen, I've seen two different, uh, versions of things. I've seen people who said no one's rooting for Boston except people from Boston. I've seen that sentiment. I've seen that sentiment and in some ways I agree.


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[Assistant] But then I've seen the other sentiment that it's like, well actually I'm rooting for Boston, and here's why. So what are you guys? And here's why.


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[Assistant] What does a bard do? I saw someone say something about a bard. I don't know how to play this game. I'm winning. I don't know how to play. I'm winning.


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[Assistant] Listen, we're counting on you to like all of our streams next week. This was Clickbait. Come back next week for the shirts off stream. Stop playing. Stop playing.


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[Assistant] Nice, uh, I just put out my Bible chapter. I'm memorizing and reciting the Bible chapter every month, so that's out. Uh, but then also,


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[Assistant] Game one. I'm thinking I might do reactions for the whole series for this NBA finals. We'll see. We'll see. Yes.


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[Assistant] If we do the clickbait sports fantasy league again this year, whoever plays me week one is going to get destroyed. Because I'm going to have Sammy Watkins. The following weeks I can't promise anything.


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[Assistant] Not to focus on that, and instead, um, focus on the draft.


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[Assistant] But can you sign Kaderius Tony to an extension only after his rookie year because he caught zero touchdowns. He's the cheapest he's ever going to be. So you lock him in for like a 10 year deal right now. How's the time? Like $15 million at him. Boom.


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[Assistant] That timing was good. Yo, that was a nice little


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[Assistant] What do you think the first NFT for the Cowboys is going to be? Let's just go around real quick. Do we think it's going to be like Tony Rombo fumbling the snap? Do we think it's going to be, you know, the 14 second QB square? Like what do, what do we think?


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[Assistant] What I'm saying is like, I don't think that they're going to be a great team this year. So instead of getting a QB, when you do have Jared Goff, who's like not incredible by any stretch of the imagination, you still are going to have at least a year left in his contract before you have an out. It costs about like 10 mil.


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[Assistant] I just think you should continue to slowly rebuild. Like if they go and they miss on a quarterback early on, that's gonna set them back. Like they started being very patient last year in the draft and building it in the trenches. Like that's what they need to continue to do.


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[Assistant] No, but the point is, is that, okay, if we're looking at just like the QB class, which is supposed to be better next year, you're going to waste the number two pick on Malik Willis. And I say a waste because there's so many other needs for this team.


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[Assistant] They're just like, sorry, we're not used to picking in the first round. This is new to us.


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[Assistant] And uh, or they go, cause they have a later one at 10. No, the best thing they could do here is pick like Drake London. Even though they have a pick where Drake London would be picked at number 10, like pick like a top wide receiver and be like, no, let's spend our four on it.


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[Assistant] You get two premium picks where you are, like why would you trade out to get one premium pick and then like, uh, okay, like could be good, what have you.


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[Assistant] You know what, Jamison Williams is great because he does have the ACL injury, so like there's a little bit of like intrigue that he, you know, will be problematic with the injury. So yea, they'd pick, they'd pick Williams. I like it. Perfect.


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[Assistant] Again, this is another perf- they have Adam Thielen, Justin Jefferson, they need another top end wide receiver. So they just go, and they get a guy like Garrett Wilson, done.


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[Assistant] John, let Kirk cousins retire with them. Please. Please let them do it. Perfect.


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[Assistant] Oh my god, they should have picked cross then. It was right there, guys. Oh yeaah.


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[Assistant] He's gonna turn in the sauce. Now it's QB. Now the Eagles get a QB cause they still don't believe in Jalen Hurts.


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[Assistant] At this point, the Saints need a wide receiver really bad, so they're obviously not going to go wide receiver.


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[Assistant] Let's go Karloftus, I think. Yeah, Karloftus.


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[Assistant] Oh my god, please don't give the Steelers a tackle. No.


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[Assistant] Okay, so we are definitely not going to go wide receiver here. Definitely not. Packers need to go quarterback again.


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[Assistant] Yeah, I feel, I feel strong with that. Yep. Cardinals gotta go QB. Have to.


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[Assistant] Got to go with the word sad. There's a guy who's 35 years old in this draft. They could do that too.


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[Assistant] Alright, the bills. I mean, obviously, quarterback's the easy one here, but go edge. They need to go edge. They have all the edge rushers already. Give them more edge.


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[Assistant] But actually they need a slot receiver. I mean, corner, so that actually wouldn't be the worst thing.


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[Assistant] Alright, Cardinal. Give us our first round next year. It's fine.


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[Assistant] He's got back to back picks. Real bad. Auto dialer. Could go quarterback here.


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[Assistant] Uh, I mean, QB, but I think they go wide receiver. I think they go, they have Higgins. They have Chase. They just, they want to keep it on. So. Sky more. Sky more.


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[Assistant] Smoke Monday. I guarantee you the Vikings draft Smoke Monday just so maybe they won't lose on Mondays. Like that's for Kirk Cousins to be like, listen Kirk, I know you've only like won one of these Monday games. This is for you, buddy. We're trying to break the curse. Someone clip it.


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[Assistant] Like out of all these people, are there's like, is there one that's actually like, actually that's a pretty good pick. Like that actually would be solid for them.


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[Assistant] Whatcha got? Uhm, Scooter, out of all the teams in the NFL, which one, truly, which one do you hate the most? Is it the Eagles? Is it the Giants? Or is it... I'm not telling you.


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[Assistant] Seven hundred eagles. You got seven hundred dollars. Eagles? Eagles. Okay.


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[Assistant] Now, here's the thing, there wouldn't be instant gratification with this. However, my proposed punishment would be, is that when Scooter gets a house, he replaces his door knocker with an eagle's door knocker for a month. Ooh.


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[Assistant] I think an eagle's costume and he's in a full blown and he's going out in public screaming fly eagles fly. I think it, that's got some legs. That would be funny.


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[Assistant] In that case then, I think you, you, I think eagle costume and you're going out in public screaming fly eagle fly.


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[Assistant] Go in public. I wanna make sure that you know it's not a jersey, like an actual eagle like the bird.


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[Assistant] I was just going around the horn. I did a Sammy Watkins vid. There'll probably be something tomorrow. I don't know what it is yet. Oh.


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[Assistant] What is going on? Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to another episode of- Wait, wait, who's Scooter? You or the guy drinking the water?


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[Assistant] God, well listen. What? We're talking water. Don't, don't make me do it, God.


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[Assistant] Went down, uh, the past couple of weeks. But before we get into that, let's do some introductions. In the top left corner, it is none other than the Legendary


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[Assistant] You know him as That Packers Fan. He goes by TDG.


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[Assistant] Better known as Tom Grassi. Tom, how's it going today? It's going.


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[Assistant] And to the right of him it is none other than the New York Giants representative of this stream.


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[Assistant] Okay, well welcome five to the show. We got some early donations. 50 bucks from alatriongetpunishedcalgarsfan, lmao. Who's really the one getting punished here? I just got 50 bucks. I'll take it. Oh, he's wiping it off. And to the right of me, it is none other.


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[Assistant] You picked that, you picked that.


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[Assistant] That's fair. That's fair. Listen, I did miss you guys. I did miss all of you. I was away at NBA All-Star break. That was tremendous. We can talk about that.


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[Assistant] But let's get into today. Let's get into the podcast. Hold on, back up, hold on, hold on.


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[Assistant] Let's talk about All-Star for a little bit. Okay, let's talk about it. Uhm, All-Star was heavily- Wait.


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[Assistant] Cowboys won the Super Bowl last time you bought that chair. Okay.


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[Assistant] Okay guys, let's get on track. Let's get on track. Let's do one thing at a time. And so we can either talk about NBA All-Star or we can get into the podcast. It's on you guys. No, I just want to know who the most famous person you met was and who was the most famous person who knew who you was. Those are my questions.


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[Assistant] What? So I met a couple of people, like, Yanis walked past me, this man is tall as heck.


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[Assistant] Tyler Hero dapped Tyler Hero up, met Paulo Boncaro at the Jordan party, which was heavily dope, but a lot of all his life people, uh, I don't know who the biggest, Cash Nasty was there too?


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[Assistant] Long story short, All-Star was an amazing experience. I got to go through some of the drills that they were doing. If you make any type of basketball content, that is where you need to be because you will just meet so many people. There's so many things going on. And if I can, I will go back as much as possible because the networking abilities are amazing. Uh, but yeah, it was dope.


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[Assistant] I don't- Oh yeah, you're that Cowboys fan. Oh, no, no, but-


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[Assistant] I also met Dwyane Wade, so I had to put that out there. And Gabrielle Union, which was pretty dope.


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[Assistant] Did you meet the, did you meet any pups at the All Star game? I met the Utah Jazz, uh, mascot. Awww.


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[Assistant] In the soup, in the soup, but let's get this podcast started. We begin.


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[Assistant] Does anyone want to set up this backstory? Anyone?


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[Assistant] Wanna explain to the viewers who may not be privy to what has happened about Jalen.


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[Assistant] What do you guys think? Do you guys, are you guys shocked at the timing of this? Like if this were pressing, do you believe they would have done something earlier?


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[Assistant] I thought as a, yeaah, I'm sorry, I thought as a story it was a little oversold. Obviously you don't want a top prospect in the NFL draft to be involved in any legal issues whatsoever. What's really funny was on Twitter I saw that Todd McShea had said that Jalen Carter has


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[Assistant] Uh, character issues and some other reporter was like, you're a piece of crap.


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[Assistant] It's not one thing where you didn't sign an autograph or something like that. It's usually you're, you're behaving in a way that's not, uh, very becoming. But here's the truth of the matter. This will blow over. Jalen Carter in a month? What are we, uh, two months now out from the NFL draft?


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[Assistant] It'll be a top five pick. And we would have forgotten. There'll be a story about somebody else's, you know.


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[Assistant] Uh, tragedy. Remember that one draft where every other story? Oh yeaah, that was 2020. Yeaah. 2020. That was like the worst draft ever. Hopefully, oh yeaah, we also have the Brandon Miller story, which is to me, worse. By the way.


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[Assistant] Before we get into that. That's my opinion. I thought the story was oversold. Okay. Tom, you look like you wanted to say something.


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[Assistant] A nice PR story by Adam Schefter and ESPN. So is the consensus of the group, is the consensus of the group that this will have minimal effect on Jalen Carter's draft stock?


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[Assistant] Awful. Like, I don't care, like, I guess a lot of people speed, but if you speed and drive recklessly around me, around children, around people on the highway that are just trying to get from their job from one place to the other, and you wreck someone,


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[Assistant] And you injure them or kill them? You're, you're a turd. Like, obviously. You're a terrible person and you couldn't have prevented it by just going the speed limit.


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[Assistant] I think the more telling thing about this situation is that you already have.


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[Assistant] Examples of what not to do. Clear examples of what not to do. Look at a Henry Ruggs situation.


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[Assistant] Can anyone coming into the league right now?


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[Assistant] Look at what happened to Henry rugs and think.


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[Assistant] You know what? Maybe, maybe I will go and, uh, be around these people racing or driving or it's just like, you have to know your place and your places. You're about to get drafted top five, so you need to act accordingly. And I think that's really all this story is someone realizing you need to.


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[Assistant] The people you are around matter. Uh, speaking of people not acting to their station, John Morant.


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[Assistant] So, who wants to break down this situation? Who knows what has happened in this situation? Anyone off top?


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[Assistant] There are a couple, there are actually two stories. First one was about the, uh, story at a footlocker where


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[Assistant] No, it was like actually summer. Trees should not do play-by-play. Okay.


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[Assistant] The entire entourage security blocks them from even coming near this kid.


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[Assistant] Yeah, different posse. Uh, and of course, I don't think any charges have been filed. I don't think, uh, anything has been. These are all reports and then these are all allegiance. Okay, by the way, don't sue us, Ja, if this turns out to be untrue, like Brett Farr and Pat McAfee.


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[Assistant] I mean, it gives a whole new meaning to 50 for the grizzly. In addition to what you're hearing from these other people, John Murray also posted on Twitter about he basically threatened someone


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[Assistant] Uh, talking about it's free to feel how hollows feel referring to hollow bullet point, bullets. It's free to feel how hollows feel in a tweet.


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[Assistant] And also reportedly, allegedly, he...


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[Assistant] Pointed a red dot at a car of...


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[Assistant] Uh, team, uh, a fellow team he was going up against?


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[Assistant] After they lost, after they made some comments. So it literally followed and pointed a red dot.


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[Assistant] At a car of the rival team in the NBA.


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[Assistant] Just the laser though, he just busted out the pointer, like the cat little chaser thing.


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[Assistant] That he just put, he did that, he put the cat chaser on their car.


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[Assistant] So it's just like, what is going on? You're an NBA player.


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[Assistant] You don't owe anything to any, you don't need to act like this. Are there any other players we can think of?


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[Assistant] In the past or current that have behaved like this.


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[Assistant] Talk about that. Let's get into that after this.


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[Assistant] Just off top, are there players that are acting like this that you can think of historically and how did it end up for them?


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[Assistant] What is the allure for NFL players trying to quote unquote be hood or behave like they're from the hood or have roots and ties to the hood? What do you think it is that makes players want to be like?


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[Assistant] It doesn't matter where you end up, your friends, your crew, the people that you trust the most, if they are into some stuff.


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[Assistant] We just think this is a case of a young player with too much money trying to be something he's not.


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[Assistant] Probably. But something that will not change. Go ahead.


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[Assistant] We're going to go into the AJ Brown, Juju Smith, Juju Schuster, uh,


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[Assistant] Is AJ Brown's comment that he DM'd Juju? Have you guys seen this?


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[Assistant] It's just an image, right? The DM is an image, yes, but, and this is crazy, literally, juju


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[Assistant] He made a skit basically like kidnapping AJ Brown and beating him up essentially, like a faux AJ Brown.


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[Assistant] Have you guys seen this? They beat up a effigy of AJ Brown.


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[Assistant] So uhm, where can I comment this? So we can watch this video. It's only two minutes. So I think we should watch this video and then, uh, so here's the DM. Oh, here it is. So wake up this morning and I want to get your guys' opinion on this. AJ Brown posted this. Juju did not post this. So AJ Brown,


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[Assistant] What is your response after watching that? Like where are we at?


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[Assistant] That was definitely, I'm going to be looking forward to see where this beef goes. We're going to be paying very close attention to this. We're going to move on though.


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[Assistant] No, it's actually Arthur Hwan. Arthur Hwan? Yes. Oh, Melianth Hwan.


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[Assistant] So the NFL basically came out with some grades and they graded a lot of stuff. Here we go.


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[Assistant] And they would rank every team, literally like a report card, A through F. And the final rankings are as follows.


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[Assistant] I have this article that ranks them from 1 to 32. Where the vikings are number 1.


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[Assistant] Like what did the straight staff do? Did they like literally inject them with chemo? What's interesting is a lot of players have actually been responding to some of these grades. Well, they voted on it. Well, what I mean is they've quote tweeted


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[Assistant] So I can't think of the players off top, but some players have literally quote tweeted, uh, their team got an F for the strength and conditioning.


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[Assistant] That grade and said, this is the reason why I'm no longer playing football. This strength coach messed me up.


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[Assistant] My question to you guys is this. What struck out to you guys when you saw this?


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[Assistant] That's fair. That is fair. What stuck out to me, personally, is uh, if you look at the Cowboys rankings, I mean...


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[Assistant] They are very nice. They are very nice. I don't know what's going on with the training room where we're sitting at a B, but uh, I've seen the training room. It looked pretty good to me. I'm not sure.


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[Assistant] How would it affect them? F4 is my question.


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[Assistant] I am so glad they did this because this is something I didn't know that I needed, but I feel like we should also do this with players. What do we think? Report cards. Every player needs a report card.


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[Assistant] Every week we do report cards, A through F. Tom, you're looking confused.


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[Assistant] That last scene is what I imagine you're going to be before I met him. Like that's how I saw him in my mind was just this guy on a couch covered in fries.


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[Assistant] So, you have made my vision of you a reality now. Thank you.


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[Assistant] It just tastes like, uuuh. Whopper's good. I used, I worked at Bird King, that was my first job.


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[Assistant] Let's get back on track. Let's talk about these grades. Let's close out these grades. Tom, you said you wanted to talk a little bit more about the grades and then we'll move on from there.


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[Assistant] Byron drones recent, well let's close this out first. So any more words on, uh, anything you guys see you want to talk about real quick on these rankings?


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[Assistant] Mold going out of it? It just plays rocky 3 on loop.


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[Assistant] That's cra- like I wouldn't even pay money for like an LA Fitness or a YMCA. You go to the weight room and the floorboards are peeling. I'm not paying money for this. This is crazy. Honestly, you'd probably get a better weight room than a Planet Fitness. Wow.


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[Assistant] Those are tough to eradicate, to be completely honest with you. You can't use like, poisons because either like, they find a way to get past it or they just like, just spread it towards like, other rats.


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[Assistant] But, I think this brings up a very important issue that Tree was talking about, and that is, sometimes, uh, they want a chair instead of a stool.


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[Assistant] Hold on, hold on. Someone's already ISO'd Tree and the Burger and it's on Twitter. Oh lord. We're done.


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[Assistant] But, what I've been trying to say is, Irene Jones. I was gonna say, what do you think McDonald's gets their secret sauce from? It ain't from Thousand Island Dressing, that's all I'm gonna say. It's Thousand Island Dressing. No, it's more than Thousand Island Dressing, it's all.


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[Assistant] Can you let Scooter finish? So like I'm saying, Byron Jones, if we can, like, talk about anything serious. Byron Jones recently came out and said he can't run or jump, uh, because of what he has been given. He also said,


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[Assistant] Make sure you always get, uh, secondary doctor's, uh, advice. Do not take the pills they give you. Do not take the injections, uh, they give you. This is actually very concerning because Byron Jones used to be on the Cowboys. This guy was a stalwart at cornerback. Then he went to Miami.


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[Assistant] Um, and he was one of the, he tested as one of the most athletic players ever, like ever. And now he's saying he cannot run.


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[Assistant] Or jump. And so he retired because of this. What are your guys reactions, uh, when you hear something like this? This man literally broke a world record in the broad jump.


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[Assistant] reality that we live in an athlete and not have th in life. I think most pl 99% would say they do it


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[Assistant] Yeah, but at the same time, it's uhm, quality of life. I actually have to cut you off there, Tree, because he actually did say no amount of money and no amount of success is worth being in the chronic pain that he has. Wow. Oh boy.


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[Assistant] So then this begs the question then, Brandon, do you have something you want to say?


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[Assistant] But I'll, I'll go on the flip, I'll play devil's advocate though. It's like, I forget what the line is from that movie is like, dude, some people would kill for that feeling of feeling like a God just for


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[Assistant] I don't know if it's worth chronic pain, but it's probably really close. Probably really close.


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[Assistant] Because I remember Kalechi El-Simile, remember him? He got a third party opinion and he got cut for it.


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[Assistant] Ooh, you should do the entire clickbait show in the dark.


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[Assistant] That's not really a thousand dollar punishment. We need something good.


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[Assistant] You gotta put covers over your monitor. I'll jump in for an hour with the chat. 24 hour.


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[Assistant] What do I have? I got a post Superbowl meeting at the NFC East. I'm very excited for this coming out next week. Maybe we'll see if I'll put together an NBA vlog. It's just so much footage. I'm not sure. Tom, what about you?


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[Assistant] Two hours blind. I want you wearing a bag over your head.


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[Assistant] That was clickbait sports this week. I'm Tom. Guder, I wanna know your skin care routine though. Like your skin looks amazing. It looks beautiful. I wanna wear it.


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[Assistant] I wish this was during the season and we knew you were going to a Cowboys game and you were doing that outside of Jerry World.


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[Assistant] I had to do a Combine. It took a while to get some of the Combine stuff together.


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[Assistant] And like the last punishment, I believe the audience needs to suffer and I make the videos as long as humanly possible. We all.


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[Assistant] I think the official time is 5.14.


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[Assistant] So, everybody was hand-clocking it. There were some disparities. There was 5.08 to 5.24.


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[Assistant] I was like, how do I get this official? So I'm editing the video together and I was trying to do the stopwatch with my phone. And then I was like, you idiot, you can literally measure it by frame in your timeline.


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[Assistant] So I got exactly when I started moving to exactly when I crossed that line. I think it's 514. Okay.


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[Assistant] I think I can get under five. It's all about that start. Like you can train that start and.


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[Assistant] Are we doing this where like each of us pick, uhm, or are we trying to get consensus for each one? I think we do consensus. This is a consensual draft. Consensual draft. Do we have consent?


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[Assistant] I did that yesterday, it was Wednesday, smoke Thursday, smoke Friday. They gotta have seven kids to get the whole weekend. And then they gotta start with months.


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[Assistant] I think the Jags are going to go offensive line.


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[Assistant] Even the Panthers, they have, after their first pick, they don't pick forever in this draft. Like they get off for a first next year.


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[Assistant] Tibido. But, I think they can grab a QB at pick 32. Uhm, like Desmond Ritter. But, we'll take Willis here. Make this interesting.


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[Assistant] Yeah, what I, what I see here, like, okay, if Aiden Hutchinson's off the board and let's just say everybody assumes he's the top edge rusher.


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[Assistant] The Texans at three are going to take the best player available at the other position, right? So that's tackle. So it's whoever they think the best tackle is here. I don't think they're going to go for the number two edge rusher when they're picking again at 13 and they can still get a pretty good edge rusher.


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[Assistant] Give em the sauce! They want the gabagool! They got it.


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[Assistant] I think they, I mean, they're, it's a big need, they're good at drafting it, it just feels like what they're gonna do.


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[Assistant] I mean they can't go wrong with either guy, but boom.


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[Assistant] I feel like Olave is like a speed piece that the Chargers kinda don't have. I think their biggest need is right tackle, uh, but like,


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[Assistant] If they, if they see Charles, uh, Cross go right before, then I kinda like, I, cause I don't like it, uh, Chris Alave.


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[Assistant] Saints got their tackle. They need a wide receiver.


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[Assistant] Well, and they traded with the Eagles to have these two picks. So I feel like the Saints definitely have a plan with what they're doing in this draft. I just don't know what that plan is. Like I did a video today thinking they would maybe package these two firsts to try and move up. To get a tackle. To get a quarterback if they're really high on one. Uhm, it could be tackled.


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[Assistant] See, hold on one sec. I'm thinking...


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[Assistant] Patriots might be taking a corner here. Uh, they lose J.C. Jackson. Uhm, Gilmore was gone the year before.


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[Assistant] Yes, they do need a receiver, but they kind of invested in that in free agency last round. Let's just look, who's the best corner here?


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[Assistant] I can see him doing Edge after losing Chandler Jones. Uhm.


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[Assistant] Oh man, it's Roger McCreary, people are high on as well.


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[Assistant] Because even if they can't, like say they don't get the running back they want in the second round.


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[Assistant] We gave him elam. We got the titans on the clock.


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[Assistant] Hey Tom, have you ever heard that one before? I've never heard it guys, you need a quarterback? Uh, Zion Johnson? Guard? Yeah. Give it to him.


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[Assistant] Oh yea. Where did he go? Oh yea, 12 to the vikes.


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[Assistant] I hate what you're looking at there. Yeah, I feel like they would- I've- they might- they might take- Oh yeah.


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[Assistant] I like lewisine. Let's do it. Shippy. Let me have you lewisine.


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[Assistant] He's streaming directly to my channel, but it's his show.


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[Assistant] Instead of doing a full stream, uh, I think we just need, like, we need a musical review of the album. You know how, in American Psycho, when, uh, he's doing stuff about


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[Assistant] Hey, things are good here, guys. Uh, my football team is, uh, nothing's going wrong in Denver. We won't even be mentioned in this worst trade segment that we're doing. Not even...


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[Assistant] Well, we'll be mentioned for a good trade when we got John Elway from the Colts, but other than that, when we talk about the worst trades in NFL history, I doubt any trades my team has currently made will be brought up.


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[Assistant] I think we should, instead of like $50 minimum, I think we should each have to spend $1000.


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[Assistant] Check it right now with our code clickbait. Link in the description. Oh my god, my mouse stopped working.


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[Assistant] After you realize that they are an official sports betting partner with the NFL, if you place a pre-game money line wager bet of $5 or more and that bet hits, uh,


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[Assistant] Bet against, take, take the under. The team is what I'm saying. Yes. Wanna cash that $5. DraftKings is gonna give you $150 in free bets.


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[Assistant] Uh, and if mobile sports betting is not available in your state, don't worry. You can still get in on all of the fun with DraftKings Daily Fantasy and DraftKings Rainmakers. Even in the desert, the Rainmakers works.


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[Assistant] You know, DraftKings, safe, secure, reliable, you can deposit or withdraw your money whenever you want. 6 a.m.? Sure. 4 a.m.? Yep, you betcha. What are you doing up? 3.23 a.m.? You can deposit or withdraw. Yeah.


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[Assistant] 2pm? Don't try it. Don't even try it, but you could.


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[Assistant] Code, clickbait, link in the description, five dollar.


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[Assistant] Pre-game, money line wager. Again, bet against my team and I think you'll win.


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[Assistant] $150 in free bets, if it hits.


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[Assistant] I tried to grab every guy I thought we might be considering in here. Uhm, there's a couple maybe that we won't, but, uh, yeaah. We've got a good baseline here, I think.


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[Assistant] This is in the history of the game.


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[Assistant] The reason we're doing this, okay guys, I get it. Everybody on Twitter every day tells me that the Russell Wilson trade is the worst trade ever.


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[Assistant] And I say, I still think the Deshaun Watson trade is worse because my quarterback was not accused.


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[Assistant] So that's where we're starting because there was two crazy trades this offseason. Deshaun Watson in his return back played awful. He was terrible. Doesn't mean he'll stay terrible. Uh, but that's kind of our baseline. I think where we're starting.


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[Assistant] First one is Antonio Brown, uh, who the Raiders traded.


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[Assistant] What a third round draft pick, and a, what else did they trade for hand? It wasn't a lot, but.


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[Assistant] That trade just was so bad for the raiders.


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[Assistant] The way your offense is playing right now, it's like, okay.


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[Assistant] How do I, I don't think I can add images. Oh. We'll come back.


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[Assistant] He refused to play for the, the, the Colts. Uhm. Let me see, what did they?


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[Assistant] Uhm, not, no, I feel like people forget that he was originally drafted by the Falcons.


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[Assistant] Uhm, and after just one season uhm.


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[Assistant] They send him to the Green Bay Packers for the number 19 overall pick in the first round of 92.


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[Assistant] Where the Falcons took running back Tony Smith.


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[Assistant] Yeah, he was a quarterback slash, um, uh, snake oil salesman who swindled, uh, money from the poorest people and, uh,


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[Assistant] Which, I mean, it's easy to confuse a punter with a thief, honestly.


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[Assistant] Yeah, that's really fa- like that's so many quarterbacks.


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[Assistant] They have to be in the right situation to succeed earlier in their career.


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[Assistant] So the Broncos beat the Packers in Super Bowl 32 with Brett Favre, uh, you know, quarterbacking the Packers. Then they played the Falcons the next year.


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[Assistant] Dan Reeves leads Brett Favre to the Super Bowl, uh, against the Broncos. Maybe Reeves ends up victorious there in the Broncos or not.


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[Assistant] Well, this is a worst trade. This is for the Raiders. Not like the Buccaneers gave up a lot to get John Gruden and it worked out for Tampa. This cost the Raiders.


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[Assistant] The, the Raiders were close to going to the Super Bowl that they get rid of John Gruden and then they get to the Super Bowl. They got to face John Gruden and John Gruden knows exactly everything that offense does and they were able to just decimate them. So as.


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[Assistant] They were all like playoff selections. Giving out pages more draft picks? That's, that's a dangerous situation.


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[Assistant] It made the Cowboys so good, they were able to win a Super Bowl with Barry Switzer.


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[Assistant] The Neil Donald interception, that's one of my probably like earliest, uh, Super Bowl memories. Uh, that wasn't- I hated that there.


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[Assistant] I mean, like I was rooting so hard for the Cowboys to lose because I, uh, just didn't want to see them win another. Like I've always been the type of sports fan. It's like once a team's won.


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[Assistant] Once. That's enough. Twice. Definitely enough. No more. No more for you, Super Bowl.


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[Assistant] They've had their fun. They've had their fill.


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[Assistant] Now, uh, the reason it's tough to put like Hopkins in Worst Ever is because like the Texans and the Cardinals just really haven't done anything since that happened.


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[Assistant] Uh, like, Herschel Walker turned the, the Cowboys into Super Bowl champion. Gruden wins the Super Bowl in Tampa. It's just like, that kind of needs to have like a team really


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[Assistant] Benefit from the success of that player and the Cardinals just have too many issues. That's fair. You have an issue. Uhm. Okay.


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[Assistant] Houston, let's see here, traded for an 8th round pick in 1997. So Largent was selected


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[Assistant] In the fourth round by the oilers, uh, and they traded in before they even got to week one apparently.


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[Assistant] Uh, as they traded him to Seattle for the eighth pick in 1977.


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[Assistant] Obviously Largent went on to be a Hall of Famer after 14 seasons with the Seahawks, making seven Pro Bowls, uh, and


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[Assistant] I forget that the Jets traded Belichick to the Patriots for a lot.


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[Assistant] We got, uh, does anybody know who this is?


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[Assistant] This is, this is so close to one of the worsts, uhm, and again, it's the Seahawks, right? Yep.


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[Assistant] Getting rid of a quarterback who was a first rounder.


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[Assistant] But played bad for Seattle, went 20 and 31.


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[Assistant] And yet, uh, somehow the Chicago Bears...


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[Assistant] The QB started one game in Chicago.


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[Assistant] RG3, that's a tough one because he was playing well, he just got hurt. Marcus Mariotta? No.


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[Assistant] The Raiders dealt Moss for just a fourth round pick too, and...


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[Assistant] All of that for running backs too. Especially the way...


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[Assistant] The NFL sort of like devalued that position, but it kind of shows you how important


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[Assistant] Your NFL, uh, offensive success and like Ricky Williams was good. You know what I mean? Like.


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[Assistant] It wasn't like he was a bad football player after all of that, it's just...


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[Assistant] I would need like a full secondary or a full defensive line.


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[Assistant] DraftKings Sportsbook, sponsoring today's episode. You just gotta use code CLICKBATE when you sign up over at DraftKings.


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[Assistant] Uh, new customers right now, you bet five dollars on any pre-game.


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[Assistant] If you don't know, that means before the game starts. Okay. So pre meaning before.


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[Assistant] And if you want to up the stakes even more, try out some same game part lays, where you can combine multiple bets from one game, like which team will win and how much, uh, for a shot. Wait, hold on.


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[Assistant] Like which team will win and by how much? Thank you, I can read.


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[Assistant] Look guys, I've been getting wild with my parlays. I've been stacking like seven. Yeah, there you go.


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[Assistant] Two weeks ago, I did six, and I only missed on two. I'm like, let me do it again.


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[Assistant] Betting the under. You're saying, I don't think. You're, you're shorting. You're, you're kind of shorting.


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[Assistant] There's going to be a lot that happens, I think, this offseason. I don't even think George Payton's job at GM is safe anymore. Because, I mean, we've got new owners. We don't know what they're going to do.


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[Assistant] We will get our something. Is that Dan? Go ridder! Okay, next one is Steve Young!


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[Assistant] Richardson's rookie year wasn't, like, good, but he had 950 rushing yards and 11 touchdowns that year, so...


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[Assistant] And the Browns kind of realized who he was as a runner, I think, and took advantage of where they drafted him.


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[Assistant] And that was smart, but yes, Johnny Manziel, uh, that did not work out.


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[Assistant] Once again, I was never going to pan out in Chicago. He would have been a bust. How the Chiefs ended up in position to draft Patrick Moe.


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[Assistant] And we didn't mention like the weirdest part of that trade was that the 49ers were not going to take a quarterback.


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[Assistant] Like Wilson, this one needs time from a football perspective. But.


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[Assistant] I'm really curious to see how he plays in, I don't know, like a month. I didn't think he would be good early, like right now.


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[Assistant] Taking two, missing two years of football like as a quarterback?


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[Assistant] That's no easy thing to like bounce back from. I don't care what quarterback you are. So yeah, we'll see. Right.


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[Assistant] No, we do not. What? There's one worse? This is pretty good. Uh, let me throw in another guy for ya. His name is Josh McDaniels.


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[Assistant] And he once traded away Jay Cutler for Kyle Orton. And I know Jay Cutler wasn't the greatest QB ever, but...


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[Assistant] He was playing pretty damn good in Denver at the time. Uh, had Brandon Marshall in the receiving game. We get rid of a guy who could have been there a long time. A year later...


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[Assistant] Damnit, what is it, their 2010 first round pick to the Seahawks to get one Alfonso Smith, a corner who just never worked out, uh, and with that pick, the safety, uh, the Seahawks took Earl Thomas the following season, so.


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[Assistant] I could do a whole video about all of the ways the Seahawks have screwed my team.


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[Assistant] You know, most of the rest are trying hard. I like a lot of the rest are trying hard. They're pretty fair. They communicate well. And then you got the other ones who just want to be dicks and uhm, just kind of fucks the game up. Nobody's coming to see that shit.


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[Assistant] How's it going? Oh, I heard he's also the Philly Fanatic. Isn't that the Beatles?


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[Assistant] Listen, I'm just happy to be back on American soil.


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[Assistant] My mission trip was dope. It was wild. You can check it out. But, uh, I missed you guys. Glad to be back.


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[Assistant] Yes, I went back there and I'm currently developing a potion that can heal


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[Assistant] All of my linemen, or soldiers, that is what I am currently doing. Right now.


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[Assistant] This potion will get my lineman back by December, is what you're saying.


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[Assistant] Uh, who did? That is Shermer's. Ouch.


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[Assistant] Wasn't there something about protection or something earlier? What was the protection that is cast over us? It's a Trojan condom.


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[Assistant] I am currently on the search for my sixth...


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[Assistant] I am on the search for my sixth championship spear that I will use to rule the universe. I come across a yinzer barbarian on my path.


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[Assistant] I must slay him to get this sixth championship spear. Can I roll?


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[Assistant] Six, as many Super Bowls as the Cowboys won. You should be happy with that. I thought it was five.


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[Assistant] I refrain from entering combat and end my turn.


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[Assistant] I don't clearly want to stab each other's backs, but let me, let me take care of the refs. I attack the refs with uhm.


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[Assistant] No, you will stay small your entire life. Uhm, okay, let's go with that. The quarter staff.


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[Assistant] Whoa, I can only do it once a day? Yeah, but you could do it again tomorrow. I'm used to doing it three times a day.


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[Assistant] I use my teleportation power to enter the battlefield.


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[Assistant] I gotta wait three turns, bro. I have the worst power in the game. This is the worst power.


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[Assistant] Yes. Uh, what can I use here? Everyone's about to be dead by the time I get there.


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[Assistant] Can I double in height? And then...


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[Assistant] It was, I just lost it, I can't, where's the hand of the giant? Burning, I, oh, 1d8 plus strength.


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[Assistant] I realize in my head there is a bigger enemy than the reps that have already been killed. It is the injury demon. Okay?


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[Assistant] My golden gun single shot rapid fire roll. I aim.


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[Assistant] And I take shot at this injury demon.


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[Assistant] I, uh, I drink a hydration drink. Can we roll for that? Can we roll for hydration?


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[Assistant] And Scooter has been our lifelong friend or something, and he's like, I'll come by and play D&D with y'all, but I gotta dip and go to the party that you guys are not invited to.


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[Assistant] Bro, fight the injury demon. He's not there! He's not there!


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[Assistant] Does Brandon have to roll for his P? Like, does he have to make sure that-


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[Assistant] Brendan or whatever his name is that just got knocked off of Pegasi. Uhm, actually,


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[Assistant] Can I stab him with this silver short sword? Ooh.


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[Assistant] Yeah, I'm gonna do that. Two times 1d6 plus dex and a two times damage on undead plus lycan tropes. I'm gonna stab him.


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[Assistant] So Wildflower makes an appearance on the battlefield.


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[Assistant] Here's what I do after seeing all of this occur.


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[Assistant] I disregard completely this new creature.


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[Assistant] Because I am the most, I am worth the most money out of every franchise. Can we get a role for this please? I must take everyone's gold.


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[Assistant] No, no, we are. That's why we're robbing. We're robbing for the next most expensive one. Yeah, we're robbing. The Giants would go for six, easy. The Giants?


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[Assistant] Do I continue trying to rob the wizard because I was not convinced by DenBrand whatsoever?


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[Assistant] Oh, it's my turn. Yeaah, Scooter wants, now he's gotta come up with something.


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[Assistant] Just be glad my energy flask didn't hit. That's all I'm gonna say.


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[Assistant] Yeah, why not? We received super chats. There should be a punishment. Are we doing a countdown? Yeah.


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[Assistant] Still hear the cricket. Do a D&D rap for us, Tom.


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[Assistant] I'll start. I had five bucks. Let's go. Let's ride! I have a feeling that I have a ride.


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[Assistant] I got 103.98! Why did everyone get 98 today?


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[Assistant] Uh, everyone here, well, most of us...


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[Assistant] Brandon has had to sing, right? Tree had to sing?


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[Assistant] That's right, we need sound bites. In fact, I was thinking, maybe. Okay.


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[Assistant] I think you should have to rap. You should have to freestyle right now for your 120 bucks. Let's go. Okay.


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[Assistant] Oh, by the way, folks, it's, uh, time for our, uh, endless depression of the day. Uh, are you familiar with the punk god Matariza?


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[Assistant] Or the Packers. Yo, let's get it, let's flow. You already know.


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[Assistant] Hey! Okay. Since I couldn't properly shave the Kansas City Chief logo into my chest, I have purchased these Kansas City Chief


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[Assistant] Uh, eye liners that, uh, I will put on my face for the duration of this episode to show that I'll mess around. You punish me? We're gonna make it stick. Like these stickers. Go chiefs. You mean the chef?


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[Assistant] Yeah, here's a spoiler, not everybody that works there is actually a genius. For real?


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[Assistant] Uh, as part of Scoot's punishment here, shouldn't he have to say nice things about division rivals such as the Eagles, Washington, and, uh, the Giants?


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[Assistant] I was just shaking my finger at Dan Snyder from stealing from the rich.


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[Assistant] God, I love you, Adam. Okay, all I wanted to ask you guys, and Adam, you can answer first,


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[Assistant] Did you guys know that the NFL shares 40% of its ticket revenue?


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[Assistant] 40% of that is for the team coming to play.


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[Assistant] And that's where Dan Snyder was cooking the books. Basically, not paying into the pool of teams, having to come play in the worst stadium on earth, really. So, like, that was something I learned about reading about all of this, but, uh, Adam, I'm sure you knew it because you are what some call a stadium expert.


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[Assistant] Yeah, we got, uh, Randy Gregory and also now Dak Prescott to back up Russell Wilson.


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[Assistant] So yeah, Kellen Moore, well, he's the offensive coordinator's assistant. Like that's about all he could do here in Denver.


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[Assistant] And our offense isn't that good, but we looked at his qualifications and said,


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[Assistant] Not really offensive coordinator material, Kellen Moore, but you could hold some clipboards, you know?


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[Assistant] Maybe sit behind Russell Wilson for 10 years and you'll finally be ready for the NFL. Kind of our game plan moving forward.


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[Assistant] That's why we took Brock Osweiler over Dak Prescott as a draft.


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[Assistant] I mean, Paxton Lynch, sorry, Paxton Lynch. We took Brock Osmiler over Russell Wilson. Really good at drafting here indeed.


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[Assistant] HGH. Human growth hormones is how you get into sports. Cocaine.


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[Assistant] No, but the hookers are doing the cocaine, not the athlete. That's a position in rugby.


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[Assistant] The Dallas Cowboys have not beat the Broncos since 1995.


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[Assistant] Just reading facts from the internet. I was five.


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[Assistant] I was five years old. It's almost five the last time the Cowboys beat them.


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[Assistant] Paid Manning was really, really fast. Uh, a lot of people considered him one of the most athletic quarterbacks to play the game. And, uh, I just like to thank the Dallas Cowboys for showing that.


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[Assistant] It's just like, how do you stop a QB as mobile as Peyton Manning? I mean, look, he runs so fast, the background is blurred.


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[Assistant] It's literally the most famous naked boot in NFL history because of the Dallas Cowboys. So, you know, I don't wanna be mean about it.


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[Assistant] I was just saying, do you think firing Jimmy Johnson could be...


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[Assistant] Maybe the, one of the top three dumbest moves in all of sports history. Ooh, like, close.


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[Assistant] It would be, I mean, it would be up there. Really, sorry. What were you gonna say, Todd?


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[Assistant] Hey Emmett, big Cardinals fan here, just looking for a cameo shout out. Could you say... Hi, it's me, Emmett Smith.


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[Assistant] Arizona Cardinals best running back of all time. Going into the hall as a, oh he's already in the hall of fame. He is. He is.


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[Assistant] Stat of the day! Did somebody say Jason Garrett?


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[Assistant] Uh, and there's SaluteGingers. Jason Garrett, number two. Jason Garrett, number two on NFL.com.


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[Assistant] I want this punishment because I just want to sit back and not have to talk for a whole episode.


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[Assistant] That's good. A lot happened with baseball I hear. I know, right? Lots, lots of baseballs.


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[Assistant] I dropped this today. I dropped this glorious video today. How Russell Wilson changed the way we evaluate quarterbacks.


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[Assistant] I'm safe. Oh, just so everybody knows, uh, I did.


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[Assistant] Burn mile high, uh, we'll save that for next week though. Where's the video? It's on, we have it.


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[Assistant] You know, a really good punishment would be to make Adam buy a really crappy hard drive.


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[Assistant] Adam's been doing all these baseball videos. I think we need to do something with that.


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[Assistant] I want Adam to go to a batting cage and like happy Gilmore have to take just shots to the body from the, uh, batting.


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[Assistant] You can get in trouble for that. I really don't want you to get hurt. I just thought it would be fun.


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[Assistant] And then, but you don't trip over your own feet, you get hit by one of those automatic baseball pitch machines.


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[Assistant] Did you see the robbery or did you see just wildflower? The pickpocketing attempt. Yeah, the pickpocketing attempt. Has that been seen?


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[Assistant] What is, so, the ques- so, what, it, what, what is the passive perception?


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[Assistant] I know, I know. I would, I would say to...


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[Assistant] Try, try and not piss off the, uh, wizard who is powerful enough to astrally project into another, uh, into another position, so.


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[Assistant] I would say, I would say, uh, I would, I would say stop it. Intercept that.


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[Assistant] This week he has diarrhea. Diarrhea.


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[Assistant] Betting on teams to come back and win has some high payouts. So if like a team's losing in the third quarter, you can stack some, some prop bets there. Uh, and then the touchdown scores.


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[Assistant] Stack a couple touchdown scores, take one first time score, really boost your odds. Had Cam Newton just rushed for a touchdown last week on his opening drive. I'd have won like two grand on the $20 bet, but he didn't. And I, I just lost $20.


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[Assistant] And next year's Christmas photo is they're all posing next to their Packers stock, uh, in placked things on their wall. Properly framed.


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[Assistant] Bronco Nagurski. That's a lot. It's Jim Thorpe. Nope. It's the other guy.


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[Assistant] That's terrible. Rudy. That's Rudy.


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[Assistant] Nobody cares about Notre Dame. Get out of here. Rockefeller Center. Got it.


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[Assistant] Yeah, or as we call it, the Chernobyl of the Midwest.


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[Assistant] Oh, that's the, the guy they used for the model for the painting American Gothic.


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[Assistant] Yeah, as a bearded man, I found it hilarious. He was like, Troy, with his blonde hair, and sometimes blonde haired men do struggle to grow beards, but Troy Aikman couldn't grow one if he tried, and he's trying to grow one right now. It's just like this obscure sort of rant, and it was absolutely


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[Assistant] Congratulations to Tom Grossi for being able to recognize the oldest men we have ever seen in our life.


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[Assistant] We should create a dating profile and just use those two pictures and see how many fish we can hook.


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[Assistant] Not to, uh, derail what we're talking about here, but we, Adam, you missed, you missed one of the legends of football, and...


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[Assistant] I'm just going to bring in one of- Injection. One of football's all time greatest legends.


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[Assistant] Goddard, America's greatest football player that ever walked the field.


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[Assistant] Although that was my 7th grade year and when the, yeaah, I was at a new school and I couldn't practice for like two and a half weeks.


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[Assistant] Because they didn't have, they ran out of small helmets, so they didn't have a small enough helmet for my head.


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[Assistant] And so I was just standing there watching practice, whittling away into the background before I finally could start practicing.


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[Assistant] And the coaches could see that it was actually, that it was good. But it was, it was hell. Oh yea? Don't you guys have any more small helmets? They're like no. They got those little ones that you can buy.


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[Assistant] I like Baker Mayfield in that the dude wants to be on the field.


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[Assistant] Playing through the injury he's played through this entire year, I don't think he gets enough credit for that.


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[Assistant] Like he's gotta go to a situation that's really good for him to excel and succeed and he's already in that situation.


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[Assistant] And, uh, I just don't know if, like, he offers an organization moving on from a quarterback, like an upgrade, that they're gonna make a move or give up any capital for him. So, it's, I just think it's a tough spot. He should have gotten his contract worked out to this offseason maybe.


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[Assistant] Honestly, like, if you put Baker...


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[Assistant] Yeah, I just don't know. Like, I think Stefanski's good. I think they got a great offensive line. They can run the football. Their defense should have been a top five defense this year, and it's been pretty good, but up and down a little bit.


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[Assistant] If I gotta take a Vikings quarterback, I want Dante Culpepper at his current age over freaking Kurt Cousins.


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[Assistant] I don't know what his job was there. Assistant GM I think, right? Assistant GM?


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[Assistant] I don't think I actually had anything, but I was like, I know I would be firing off a bunch of tweets about de-virginizing your cousin, so.


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[Assistant] I guess how long do you give a coach though a chance to prove his value? Two years?


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[Assistant] I can see Vick Banjo keeping his job. It's a tricky thing.


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[Assistant] The people who are saying that George Payton might not fire Vic Banjio that are in the no are saying


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[Assistant] Why would you bring in a new coaching staff and then bring in a new owner who may not like that coaching staff?


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[Assistant] My thought is like a new owner is going to be a multi-billionaire. I don't think they're going to mind eating a coach's contract if they really don't like that coach.


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[Assistant] The Broncos coaching staff and Vic Fangio has shown very little willingness to


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[Assistant] Change his personnel when things are not working?


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[Assistant] So, like, if there's a reason to fire him, it's because, uh, Pat Shermer, special teams coach, Dom McMahon, there's like all these things not working and not changing. So, I don't fucking know, I don't know what they're gonna do.


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[Assistant] Thank you! Wyatt Harold!


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[Assistant] I was gonna have you rip the movie, uh, take a scene from the movie where it's like Kurt and his wife and you just cut out the parts with his wife and you interact with Kurt Warner.


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[Assistant] You bring your video camera, you make a bootleg copy of the movie, which then we watch all together here.


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[Assistant] Uh, I'm doing, I got a video about all the quarterbacks who could be changing teams this offseason.


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[Assistant] Welcome back to Clickbait Sports. We are approaching our first year anniversary of this show. Getting close, I think.


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[Assistant] We started in March of last year, but the planning started taking, the Voltron started assembling about a year ago.


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[Assistant] Our big show idea today is we're gonna predict the future of Aaron Rodgers as he


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[Assistant] Uh, transitions into whatever he's going to be next season, whether it's a packer, bronco, or broken up.


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[Assistant] Whatever, we'll talk about that. Uh, my, uh, tiger outfit did not arrive on time. So we'll have to do that either next week or the week after that because Amazon sucks right now. They're not sending in their gear on time. I ordered it immediately after the show last week and it's still not here. Like literally.


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[Assistant] During the show. So, but I think we should punish Brandon.


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[Assistant] this week and make him shave the rest of his face.


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[Assistant] After we speculate about Aaron Rodgers, we are going to have a little Super Bowl rundown. Cause we did not get to talk about that while.


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[Assistant] I mean, obviously we didn't broadcast between now and when the Super Bowl, or after the Super Bowl, right?


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[Assistant] Right. Then, uh, we're gonna do an off-season primer, talk about the key dates that you guys need to know because it is the off-season.


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[Assistant] And then we're gonna go through a laundry list of items. So first, let us speculate. Let us conjugate.


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[Assistant] Let us stop, collaborate, and listen. Brandon, okay.


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[Assistant] I was gonna call on Brandon first. What do you think is gonna happen with Aaron's lectures?


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[Assistant] Yeah, cause you tried, you tried to pull a Saint, uh, uh, LA Rams this year. You tried to go all in. We did. Oh, by the way, happy birthday video. Only got halfway in.


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[Assistant] See, you're more dedicated to following Aaron Rodgers than he was to Shailene Woodley.


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[Assistant] Very interesting. Hold on, I wanna, I wanna give my speculation on Rod. Okay, so what about you? Pivot, pivot, pivot.


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[Assistant] Uhm, listen, Aaron Rodgers has a lot of, he just won the MVP. Okay, like, he, last year, okay, he,


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[Assistant] But listen man, I think, I don't see a scenario where the pack, like,


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[Assistant] It has to be a trade. It has to be to exactly where he wants to be, but there's no way that if, if the Packers are forced to like cut him, like, you know what I mean? Like some type of retirement slash cut, he would retire a Packer, like he would just end it. But man, he's got so much football left.


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[Assistant] There's no way that he just doesn't go out with at least one more shot because now Matthew Stafford has as many rings as he does. Okay. And I don't think he can live with himself with that being the case. That is my opinion.


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[Assistant] Yeah, but the, you know, the NFC is going to be like wide open next year. The Rams aren't going to get any better. They're about to lose a lot of people due to cap casualties. You know, of course, somehow. Yeah, they figure out. Nope. Wrong. What?


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[Assistant] Stafford's getting cooked for walking away because this girl fell off the stage. He is not a medical professional, right? He doesn't know what to do. He's gonna touch that woman and make it worse.


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[Assistant] I feel for Matthew Stafford, because I would, though I would look, like all he would be doing is just looking at her in pain. So he just walked away from the situation, like, I cannot help here, there are more trained people, I'm probably drunk, I'm gonna fall too.


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[Assistant] The franchise that just won the Super Bowl does not need their star quarterback getting hurt chasing some poor photographer who just fractured her spine.


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[Assistant] Sounds about right. Speaking of lip reading, I have another clip here.


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[Assistant] First of all, hold on, we'll talk about that after this, but here's another clip of Patty Mahomes at the Texas Tech basketball game with his fiancee still, who I think has already bore one of his children. Yep. Apparently lip readers said that, watch, after he said something, he said something like they're gonna take me off the court or on the court.


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[Assistant] He says something about resting B phase. Look at her. She says right here.


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[Assistant] And then she made that face. Now, I don't really care what was being said, I think those are private interactions, but...


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[Assistant] Does Patrick Mahomes need some type of intervention where he just does not appear in public with his fiance because it just looks, it always just ends up something press worthy between the two.


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[Assistant] No, this is Sam Ocho. This is his brother. Okay. I thought Emmanuel Ocho. I thought it was the same. I was, okay, listen.


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[Assistant] So who were, who were the five? Who were the top five? In which order?


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[Assistant] What is the criteria here? Strongest arm? Because...


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[Assistant] Listen, I think I said this on all the other streams. It was the most boring, close Super Bowl I've ever seen. Like, it was real, it was, it was, it was predictable at the end. You knew that the Rams were going to take the lead and you knew that since he was going to have a shot to either tie it or win it.


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[Assistant] But it, like the last fifteen minutes were just stale, and like I, I never, maybe it was because we didn't, we weren't as emotionally invested, like we didn't care who really won or lost, we were happy with whoever, but I was not palpitating, like I think I should palpitate.


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[Assistant] It's just, it's just so hard to determine like, you know, yeaah, did the Bengals lose it? Well, I mean...


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[Assistant] I don't know, I think that they were playing with house money, just being there and making it close. Like they had an opportunity, they were up 20 to 16, uh, towards the end of the game. Like, yeah, should they have won? Probably they should have gone all the way.


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[Assistant] Yeah, that's the thing is like if you don't win convincingly, you're always gonna ask.


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[Assistant] He didn't even look good in his Wildcat packages. Like, I'm just, I'm sorry, I'm not sold on Mariota. That's the thing about the NFL. If you're not the guy, you don't become the guy.


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[Assistant] No, I was just upset that Ice Cube, you know, I think he spent too much time, like he was tired from doing the NASCAR gig the weekend before, so he wasn't, he was just like, uh, I can't make it to the Super Bowl. Pleasantly surprised that 50 Cent showed up, but I was hoping.


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[Assistant] Dr. Dre, Ice Cube, and then an EZE hologram would show up, and then we would have got, you know, the whole NWA thing.