[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Thank you. Uhm, but yes, much like the Wild West, there's another headline making the rounds today about getting swindled, robbed, or bamboozled. No. Much like my heart was stolen in fifth grade. She took a pace of me and I'll never get it back. But someone else has taken a piece of something far more important.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Ms. Brown? Uhm, what's her first name? Tiffany Brown.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, this- it's- it makes for a great headline, the story itself actually ends up being a lot more complicated, but this relates to FEMA, and how, uh, America's been having a hard time supporting its own fucking territories in times of- times of duress? Whether that's Karina- Katrina, excuse me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Or Karina. Or Karina, whatever. Or Puerto Rico, more recently. So there's a story here about, uh, it's under New York Times, a FEMA contract called for 30 million meals for Puerto Ricans.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] 50,000 were delivered, which is a pretty big disparity.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, FEMA awarded a contract to the single employee company called... What is it here?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sorry, I'm scaling through the story. Again, here I'll bring it up for the sake of the audience and also to give me some visual cover while I stammer over this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Tiffany Brown, an Atlanta entrepreneur with no experience in large scale disaster relief and at least five cancelled government contracts in her past. FEMA awarded her $156 million for the job. Ms. Brown is the sole owner and employee of her company Tribute Contracting LLC set out to find some help.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So the idea was that they gave her the contract to, uh, war- or to, uh, coordinate, and then she would reach out to other departments to arrange for food.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, there's, there's a whole litany of projects. Nice. And high five you, but I won't. Uh, she was supposed to, there's like, her history is kind of odd. She was supposed to print up all these tote bags for the Marines, but logos were only on one side of the bag instead of both, so they cancelled that one. There was a, there's like a whole series of, of jobs she's done where it's just like, this is not remotely what we asked for.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What is your problem? Is she hot? She might be hot. I'll forgive her if she's hot.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it feels like she has a connection. She had actually been, there was a group that barred her from getting any other contracts, but that applied only to their agency and not other federal agencies, so she kept getting work from other stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, my favorite part is her social media profile. Which, uh, oh god. So here's another quote from the article. She claims a fashion line and has several self-published books and describes herself on Twitter as quote, a diva, mogul, author, idealist with scars to prove it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, uh, there's many more details to that story, but like I tend to do, I'm just gleaning the most headline gr-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sorry, we're watching this Max Payne video and he just did a sweet, like, splits kick that looks totally rad and not dumb at all.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Jesus. Uh, so I, I was curious if any of you guys have instances in which you were utterly taken and swindled and bamboozled. Uh, John, you, you share with me on Slack that why you got the founders edition of, hold on, I gotta look up a trailer for this. Was it Wild West Online?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. You had an investment, sir. Yeah. We're gonna protect you from your own decision making here.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh man, look at that car. Oh boy. Transmorphers is the greatest movie.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Turns out making fun of- making fun of broken shit is a pretty, uh, pretty infertile ground.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well I'm, I'm sold. Is there no follow-up video? No dialogue? There's no like diagram? Nope, it's just him talking.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's, well, it's Dininson X. That's not a-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] His first reward is you get a Dimension X, and his second reward is to be announced.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, $25? Wait, wait, wait, hold on. A special black addic- uh, addition of console dimension X. Green and black. Name it the Kickstarter edition.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Tell me more about your black addiction. It'll be engraved, it will read, thank you, this is possible because of you. Which is intercapped for some reason. Then you will see your name there, after, highlighted and engraved on the console. So when you pledge, email or message me and simply say quote, I pledge. Then leave your full name or nickname if you prefer. I can be sure to put it on the special edition console.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Not that they would just charge money for the cure. No, that makes no sense.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I didn't watch long enough to see if the main, main rocket, I know the two side rockets landed properly, but then the camera cut off, so I didn't actually catch up if the, the full one landed or not.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wait, that was nice though. They've blown up a lot. Yea. Hey, you gotta crack a few eggs. Speaking of eggs, you should learn to cook. Blue Apron is sponsoring this podcast. Well done.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it's time for another, uh, Cooking with Lawrence, because Blueprint sponsors this podcast so much, uh, the familiar, uh, reading points are a little tired out. Don't worry if this is your first podcast, uh, or your first dude soup, maybe not your first podcast ever, but first dude soup, I'll recap what the service is, but I've been using it for a long time, which means I'm becoming a master chef. It's true.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, uh, as someone who has struggled with weight, one of, one of, maybe not a complaint, but a concern I've had about blue-eyed penis,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The recipes are balanced for a third of a 2,000 calorie diet.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Which means they can come six, seven hundred calories. And as someone who's trying to dike at that hot LA bod, trying to slim up for summer, uh, that can be a little much. Uh, I'm looking for, uh, meals in like the four to five hundred calorie range now. But, and this is a secret, alright?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't want you guys telling anyone, even though you're listening to me right now. I will not. Top chefs are gonna hate me for this. You can divide it up more than it says to.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So if you get a seven, eight hundred calorie of serving meal, you can divide it into thirds or even quarters. And then it's less calories. And you get more servings out of it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So the math they usually do is it's ten dollars a meal because it's two per meal preparation kit, which equals six meals per week for about sixty bucks. But if you divide it up even further,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You can cut some calories, look fine, and that reduces your cost to about $6.75 a meal.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Which means you'll be rich. You'll be rich. You'll be hot. You want for nothing with Blue Apron.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's my top tip to you this week on Cooking with Lawrence. Good. So, uh, to recap, uh, Blue Ray Print is a meals by delivery service. Basically they ship you all of the ingredients and given recipes pre-portioned out. They're nice little bags or sealed containers.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They also send you these recipe cards that have step-by-step instructions with pictures to show you how to make everything. All you need is like salt, pepper, and oil, basically, and cookware. And then a plate to eat it on and a house to eat it in, but you know, you can reduce it as much as you like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's great, actually. It saves money, gets you better at cooking at home. It can be a bonding experience if you cook with friends or family. And, uh, you get better at cooking, which is actually a pretty good skill to have. Uh, you will not repeat my mistake of buying a crappy battery-powered


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, you can get $30 off your first order by going to blueapron.com slash soup. That's blueapron.com slash soup, S-O-U-P.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] For thirty dollars off your first order. So thank you Blue Apron for revolutioning my life, revolutionizing my life. Saving me money. Get me hot. Blue Apron Bod. Uh, you could have it too. And save money. BlueApron.com slash soup.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's so much- Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, your phone obviously. There's so much data around when you do things and the manner in which you do them. But, I mean, it's like, you can be paranoid about that or you can just say this is, this is the society we live in now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, and, and most of it was like, uh, financial institutions were starting individually to say you can't fucking buy crypto on credit. Which would be a terrible idea right now, just FYI. But, uh, yeaah, apparently it's hitting government level of like, maybe we should look into this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well people buy, well, it's, I mean this has been the de facto reality for crypto for a while, which is that everybody knows it's a speculative market.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But you're speculating on nothing. You're speculating on other people's tolerance for speculation.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So there- you're not revealing anything by saying this coin is worthless because it was always worthless. You're just buying into something and hoping that you cash out before everybody else does.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I guess. Kinda. You want, you want my top tip for garlic bread? Okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Here it is. Yes, I do. Such an overwhelming reaction. Okay, so toast your bread. And then you just get a garlic clove. Just peel it. Just rub it in. Just rub that shit in.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Get a whole clove and just grind it in. You just grind it in. It works, it rubs in. And, you want some pando tomate or whatever. It doesn't hurt you so much either. Cut a tomato in half. You grind that in too. Get some flake salt on top. That's an easy treat, my friend.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, I got, so, yes. I walked into something that I knew was going to be a shitstorm very quickly. It wasn't a shitstorm. So I peaced out as quickly as I could and went to McDonald's. Well that was fun.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, that was before the plans had been set. So I was just sitting in my room, like, air punching to Robert Palmer, cause I was, they kinda just concluded and that's how I typically celebrate.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In my underwear, no less. Uh, so I took a shower, and I was like, I was just kind of waiting around, and I was like, I'll just go walk around. So that, that's where I was at. Oh, okay. And then like, 10 minutes later, so the message hit, but I was walking around, the data sucks, so I did.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, also for a party that big, you'd have to pull out a lot of firm currency.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's a, there's a particular interaction that you have with somebody who's done their job for like more than three months.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it's always what I refer to as, I don't have a folder for that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Which is when you ask somebody to do something they've never done before, and instead of actually thinking about it and trying to do it, they just say it can't be done. That's one of those. Did you try rebooting it? No it's down! You don't understand, you need cash!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] One of the largest uh, mammal rodents. So, hold on, I gotta do both cameras here. I saw this little guy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So shortly after I left the Chur-Churascaria, or however you say that word, I cut through a public park in the middle of Sydney.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, well, it's cute, but also frightening, so I was just- I was bumblin' along, and then I saw this-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is there anything more futuristic than living in like a, uh, like a towering concrete techno landscape but also having wildlife just running around like crazy? Maybe no wildlife at all.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You saw the first episode? No, it's the first episode and I couldn't stop rolling my eyes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's math, it's mathematically made. There's nothing about it that isn't a trope, which is weird to say.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But let's say that you're a robotic shell of a human that is in a sack covered in goo.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You gotta look your best when they cut you out of that sack, which means you're gonna have to be wearing the most techno-futuristic underwear that the world has to offer.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And to do that, you'll have to buy it from Mack Weldon, purveyors of fine clothes for your genitals. Yes, wrap your genitals in the finest techno cloth you can find.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, that's, that's how we roll here. We only wear futuristic underwears. No, no modern underwears. Cotton, get out of here. Uh, they make antimicrobial cloth, which means that no matter how much you stink, the underwear will not.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It actually kills all the terrible things living in your crotch as soon as you strap it on.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Makes you cleaner too. That's not a promise from them, it's a promise from me. So, uh, take it up with me if you ever have any issues with that, but you won't be able to find me because I'll be in a new robot body.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, I'm gonna say, just personally, having, now they've been sponsoring this podcast for over a year, I think, and I've been a routine patron of theirs, it's actually interesting to me to go back and buy new boxer briefs or whatever, and they actually update their line. So, the boxer briefs they had a year ago are not the ones they have now, and they get better and better.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, it's, I think it's three different versions I've gotten from them now, and each one has been more comfortable than the last, so. I'm really enjoying what they have now, they got like a kind of a Heather thing going on.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In terms of the colors, it's heathered. Actually, let me look it up here.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it's delightful, right? It's perfectly proportioned, like, interesting, but not too big, but not too small either.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, that's the promise I'll tell you. Your test- your testicles will look beautifully proportioned in a pair of Mack Weldon's. And you can get 20% off your order by going to MackWeldon.com and using our promo code DUDE at checkout. That's a D-U-D-E at checkout for 20% off your entire MackWeldon.com order.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And if you ever looked at yourself in the mirror and said, Gosh, those balls just don't look right.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] MackWeldon.com, promo code dude. Thank you Mack Weldon for your promo code and your delightful ball cupping technology.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And Zelda's some fuckin' black magic. I thought I played that game and I loaded it up, and since they added that hero's path from the first DLC, I just went to someplace I've never been.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's all magic again. I found these like, fucking temples, there was a mystery there. I solved it. I felt great. I was a hero.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The strawberries are inconsequential, right? No, they don't do anything, it's just bragging rights basically.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I, so I got back. I'm gonna get back into it. I didn't want to do like a lot of Monster Hunter and then leave for a week because I'd forget how to play. Okay. So I'm back into it. We got a hard net though, which Monster Hunter is pretty hard netting, but...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, uh, I'm trying to remember who's up to date on the Pueblo Marriage Sim. I was there for that. Yeah. Uh, Omar, you know about it, right? I do now, yeah. John does not. So, refresh me. John, let me read you a save the date here.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's a whole conspiracy that we didn't recap. Todd Rogers. Turns out it's a goof segment at the end of a podcast. So yeah, we're not gonna run down the whole history of something. Not that I was aware of it either, so I'm admitting to that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That is the one sin you do not commit on the speedrunning subreddit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He was running on meme, not a cabinet.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, that is netting pretty hard, but we got a, we got a hard left back here. So, uh, on Saturday, September 23rd, 2017, at 7pm Pacific, Sergeant Hale, or Anon, uh, cause I believe this is from 8chan, which is not 4chan.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, decided to marry Shinobu, uh, who is from... She's a multi-centennial vampire from...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm licking on it. Regardless, she may look eight, I promise she's not. Several hundred years old. Very mature. So they're both fictional characters? Uh, well, I mean, an anon is as fictional as your mind applies them to. Same with anime, actually, so yes. Uh, the save the date reads at the bottom, you've seen weaponized autism. Now you get to see the trigger pulled.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sergeant Hale, uh, as his name is, decided to...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Marry his beloved. Alright. Ooh, in VRChat, of all places. Wow, look at that attendance. So, it's funny you bring up attendance, John.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sergeant Hill wrote his own script to-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] 800 years old. Wrote his own script to pull avatars from an 8chan thread into the ceremony. So while people are posting in a thread, he's pulling their avatars into the ceremony. They're able to watch. He marries his beautiful, uh, again, very of age bride who receives headpats and has very big,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Eyes, uh, takes her out. There's a nice reception here out in the parking lot. He throws the bouquet.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Boo-kay, however you choose to pronounce it. Uhm, he threw it the wrong way. That particular anime girl is the lucky lady. Uh, it's not igus from Persona, that's the only other one I recognize. So it's uh, aw, she's hugging. She only comes up to about waist height, but turns out that's good enough. Uh, a little head pat there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, so, all heads up, there's nothing suspicious or suspect about that at all. Uh, lemme, lemme hit you with its competitor, uh, which is a similarly pure YouTube channel.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, so the competitor to uh, Sergeant Hill, the Pueblo Marriage Sim, is this gentleman, Kiss Cactus, on YouTube, who, if you look at the runtime of most of his videos, they're about 10 seconds or under. Nice. And he's got a pretty, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's got something he does in every video. And I wonder how long it will take you to identify what that thing is. Oh, it's muted, sorry. No, that's a bit of a red herring there. Let's see here.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, his delivery's gotten better. And he goes, he's like, when was that? November.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, November 9th, 2013. And then, first comment is, nobody's gonna believe me, but I finished the playlist. So it looks like-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Giant, giant intergalactic tapeworm. Yeah, I think that guy was at the wedding. Plugged through, uh, 938 videos. But they were 10 seconds long, you know, whatever. You didn't win the Olympics.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, uh, I guess we gotta put it down to a vote now. Man, Mary's fictional 800 year old vampire.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Let me sweeten the pot a little bit. Every time she gets a taste of blood, she transforms into a post adolescent lady.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Let's just vote, let's just vote. Like, Shinobu is so common. Oh, there she is. Uh, oh yeah, Bake- here we go. Bake Monogatari. Shinobu is a girl who lives with Meme in an abandoned building. She loves donuts from Mr. Donut. Uh, she was named Shinobu by Meme at the beginning of the Taki Crap. This can't be real.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, that, welcome to anime bro, that shit happens all the time. Uh, okay, alright, that's not so...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, we got, we got help. Hold on, uh. Police officers are standing by. Fox or Splitscream on Twitter is helping out here. Here's all the various phases of this very adult woman, I guess. Oh, there's a picture of her being held in a basket on a bicycle. That's not at all, yes. Okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, you still have to vote, uh, Adam, marrying the very adult, uh, of mind.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it actually varies by the participant, basically, just to include whoever I like. But for me, hard netting is somebody that has something that is obscure, and they have, uh, something that would one time can, like, they'd have to experience by themselves. They'd live in solitude with this thing forever. But through the advent of the internet- Not too shabby! Thank you. There you go.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I guess you're right, not too shabby is, is living by himself except for the gentleman that he climbed the, uh. Well that was moments before he killed that guy. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, let's see what the number one upload for MrNotTooShabby is.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, yeah. I love that guy. Hitting the courthouse with 152,000 views. Has he done that on a green screen yet? I don't think so. As far as I can tell, all of his videos are in situ.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Institute? It's uh, no sorry, it's uh, I was, I was being... Being smart? I was being too cultured for a second. Oh. It's a Latin thing meaning in its original place, or in, in location. No, that's fine, I thought you said Institute, but I was like, is that a new app I remember? He's in, he's in an institution.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He knows now. He's putting some salt on it. Alright.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, KissCactus has, uh, blown out the competitor. Just a guy in Colorado, says that description. Oh, ColoradoGuy.com! He's got the best URL ever! Look at that website!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Times are bad. Not too shabby. High score on Ms. Pac-Man? Uh oh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Steve? Is this your name? Steve? No, don't break the illusion. Steve Colorado, oh, Steve Colorado guy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Garoufee. Shattered the high score of Ms. Pac-Man Machine last night when he obtained the all-time personal high score of 150,080 points.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, actually it does look like him. Nice. It's great. It's great to, uh, It's great when you find two bros who are just on a cross together.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, well, Steve, congratulations on winning the crown. And congratulations to all of you for making it through another episode of Dude Soup. Thank you for your attention, for your attendance, and for your, uh...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You don't have to. Merely just being here is enough and I appreciate that. Uh, and we'll be back next week with another podcast if you are watching live. Stay tuned because we got the post show coming up. Got a lot of wonderful, uh, fan art.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But, either way, no matter how you're watching us, or listening to us, or whatever, thank you from the bottom of my heart, from the bottom of my uh, tallboy Bud Light. Did you finish that thing? Yeah. Oh shit dude. Actually wait, hold on. You finished both of those. I didn't even see you drinking it. There we go. Man oh man. It's almost like I'm a functional alcoholic.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's, uh, there was this cool, there was this cool scene in Skins. No one's gonna, the UK Skins. Where this girl who's anorexic was like, demonstrating how to confuse people into making you think you're eating, but you're not. You're taking the time, I can tell. No, no, we're already over.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, a tall boy and a bottle of beer without apparently Omar noticing. Without anybody noticing. Yeaah. Got it under the radar. So thank you again for watching and we'll be back next week. Bye everybody. Bye oh. Not too shabby. Not too shabby. I like the, he's throwing more salt on it as it goes by. I like that. He's not getting, not getting, uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So my theory, which I vaguely mentioned yesterday is that it's, it's because girls like taking photos and horses are pretty and it's like a thing that is majestic and like is seen as being aesthetically pleasing. That makes more sense. I thought it was because sometimes


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The thing that really gets me about these dogs specifically is that they are trying to sell them to US military. What do you think those do in the military? Just open doors for each other?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Seeing people, like, get through shrines by cheating them is awesome.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, that's the only thing I have, which is not great, but uhm, you know, then I was single for like three years and was like, God, I gotta fucking buy every year, this is expensive.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think it's probably worse if they know you're a girl, but being a young boy is also very strange. You're like this shitty kid.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, cause I'm in a long distance relationship, Valentine's Day is cool because we just send each other stuff and it's like, I sent you a thing. That's nice. And it's like very cute that way. Uh, whereas I feel like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In person, it's kind of sad because every single person at the restaurant you go to to get your pizza is doing the same thing. So it is like a little bit lame.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, I gotta have one. I dunno. We did buy him a balloon hat. There was a lady making balloons there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I know that I think it's on Valentine's Day in Japan.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But then they also mix it together with- Which is the concept of like having to buy the chocolate to give to a person. Because that is like a thing that is almost expected and I'm pretty sure that it's not necessarily romantic as well. You can buy someone chocolate just as like, eh, I appreciate you as a human.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's very cool. But also I feel like it's just giving us-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I feel like it's a thing they do for fun. Yeah, I'm not convinced it's serious.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And as I was like typing in the search bar, I guess he wasn't doing incognito or anything. And the porn was old guys with young girls.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What does your fantasy for- Was he old? Really? No, he was a year older than me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, but I was like, what does your fantasy for old dudes having sex with really young women imply about your interests? And how does that make sense in our relationship?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I just feel like he would have reacted in a way that was like so like, cause he had told me, that's, that's the other thing I forgot about this. He told me that he didn't watch porn and I knew that was a lie. I knew that was a lie. It was like, come on, alright. But like if he, I think he would have just been super defensive about it and it would have been very uncomfortable and we never would have forgotten it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] All of it. Uh, but the thing with lesbian porn that gets me is they always have these really long nails.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A lesbian that I'm friends with told me that she, weirdly enough, only watches gay porn with two dudes. I've heard that too. Right.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So it's supposed to be like her thing was that it seems like two people who were just genuinely stoked to be having sex with each other and a lot of lesbian porn seems too staged.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well the mute thing is because the women fake screaming annoys me so much that I would be like I don't even want to watch this anymore. Like stop yelling the whole time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So wait, this was in the, in the, the bags they were giving out at OCX.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because it, they're providing such a human experience that, is that quiet?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've, and you could try both the female and the male version, uhm, and the problem is that


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's just bad, but I still laughed, so it's like entertaining but terrifying.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How do you give them commands? You're like, Hey, I want to go talk to this person. I'm like, I don't know the name of that person who you're referring to. And you're like, walk, just walk forward, go to the right. Like, did they do that too?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, I remember this! I remember retweeting about this. Yeah, and they were like, hey, uh, because of rising bandwidth costs, uh, you can buy us an Amazon gift voucher and then we'll take it down. And I was like, obviously not!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, cause the thing on the forum was there were a bunch of people being like, yeah, came on that bitch's face, that'll show her. It's like, it's just a bunch of dudes showing their penises to each other and being mad at me. It's super gay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But they don't seem to think about it being gay at all, or about how it doesn't really show me because I'm not actually there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If like, if they know what you want. Let me tell you, uh, I've started a podcast about misconnections. And the one thing that I can say about having read a lot of misconnections over the past month.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is that there are so many of them that are like, hey, uh, just looking to suck a dude's dick, not gay, in a relationship, just wanna suck your dick, hit me up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't wanna date a dude, I just kinda wanna suck his dick. It's whatever. And they're very casual about it, and there are mountains of them. Like even like, hey, looking to have sex with a man, married with kids, super happy, just wanna fuck you. Like it's, maybe men have figured it out, cause it's a lot.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's a lot of them, and then I wonder if the flying patterns would just be...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Freaks never stop. Look at all these crabs. Look at all the crabs! All the crabs!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The idea of going in a submarine seems super cool, but then also, oh, you're surrounded by water completely.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, of course. I completely agree. There are people I'm friends with who are like, no, what if you died? I'm like, I would be willing to risk dying tomorrow if I could go to space today. Me too. But would you go to Marianas Trench?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's awesome. So like you can get planet earth in 4k and it's just the most beautiful thing you've ever seen.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, this is the same channel. Okay, I was like, wow, they both got EDM. No, same guy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, look, I am a subscriber to KissCactus, so I feel like it would be biased for me to vote for him. Uh, so I'm voting for Age of Disclosure based on the sick EDM.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So you might be able to like, uh, form maybe like a little fire in your hand?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's actually funny you say that because a lot of the articles I was reading that are against net neutrality were saying that when, uh, if, if net neutrality is repealed that it'll spawn a bunch of smaller ISPs that will then be able to compete in a larger market because those smaller ISPs will be able to, you know, prioritize internet traffic, whatever, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, and at this point, they're the only ones that can handle all the data.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, not this specifically. This is specifically to prioritize internet traffic. But yes, there is that other part of government. Uh, regardless, that is one thing that I've seen people write about is that a smaller ISP could be spawned because then they can handle


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, they go, right, but they're also saying that, um, I know this is all me being devil's advocate. They're also saying that about neutrality. They're saying that if we repeal it,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're saying, oh, all the companies could start charging you a tiered ball up. We don't know that for sure. We actually don't know that. We don't know what they're gonna do. That's, that's true. Uhm, so I mean like, history implies that that would happen, right? Absolutely, absolutely. Yeah, one has a telecom.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes, that's a, that is an indication of what could happen. Uhm, but those are, I mean like, these are, you know, both sides are saying, well this could happen, so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Larger companies can, more control over my internet or anything else for that matter, scares the fuck out of me because I don't, like, I can, I can never trust a company to have my interests at heart regardless of how rich or poor I am. Even if, even if I am super rich, which I'm not,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It wouldn't matter. I, I still wouldn't be like, yeah, you know what, go ahead, do whatever you want, even though I've got millions of dollars. Like I'm not, that's not at all the way I think.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Maybe. I mean, that, that is, again, that's all part of the free market. You don't have to get bought, like, you don't have to say, alright, yeaah, I will get bought. That's all, that's all to somebody's choice.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, and they'll say that's just bad company management. That's all it is. And I mean, it's true. There are, there are companies that have survived. No problem. And they've, they've been doing it like Rooster Teeth is a good example of that. We got bought up, but we agreed to that buyout. Um, they could have said, no, we're good. Um, and you know, they could have kept going their very way.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know, there are lots of, I'm only trying to argue against it because I was like, I see so much material about why we should be for net neutrality. There has to be another side to this. Oh yea, yea. And I'd like to know what the other side is.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It does, and that's sort of the, uh, like I was talking about with just generally Greed, is that Greed recently, I feel like it's become more and more prominent, uh, and while I'm glad that


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, it's seemingly our generation and maybe even the generation previous is pointing it out and being like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, shouldn't we have some thought about the rest of the people around us? Uh, it's still driving politics, it's still driving business.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, part of the free market, yes, is greed. We, you're trying to make money. But there, at some point, there's, you have to have some sort of social conscience.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So now all of a sudden he's got a social conscience and he's like, oh wow, he's so great. But he spent 30, 40 years, whatever it was, making billions of dollars.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, that's sort of like what? Well, Bill Gates, he's a good example of a philanthropist, like somebody who made a shit ton of money, I think probably somewhere along the way realized, hey, I made a lot of money, I should probably give them to charity.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I've just been attempting to try and see what the other sides of this are, because I know there's something there. Yeah. Uhm, and I know that they're not all like, not again, like every other, every other issue, not everybody is crazy on one side.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, and I don't think it ever will be. Uhm, I guess that's, and like, so I think the internet is obviously way more important than television. I would say the internet is a utility. Oh, right, and that's, but that's kinda what we're getting into, which is like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] People are trying to decide that right now. Uh, since it's a new thing, we're trying to figure out if it is an actual utility or not. I think a lot of us would agree. It is absolutely a utility. It's something that everybody should have.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's totally valid, I mean like they're already spying on us now. But imagine if they regulated the internet even more so. Well then they'd have full control.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, and they raise, they raise the price, I mean, every six months my bill goes up for no reason. Yea. And I always have to call on me, what happened?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, it's, uh, I'll be really devil's advocate on this one. Maybe they don't have to do that now that they're, uh, they can charge for different tiers. They can charge more. So now they are making more money off the tiers, so they don't have to worry about fucking you over with the race.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is why I think it's funny because a lot of people that are for, or I'm sorry, against net neutrality, uh, look at all the people that are for net neutrality and go, you guys are crazy. But this attitude right now that we all have, this is the reason why. Because we are constantly having to fight with companies for, they're nickel and diming us over and over and over. Where like I said, the bill will just go up for no reason.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So that's, that's to me, it's hard to explain that attitude to people. And I think that's why it's, uh, the foreign against neutrality is, uh, it's so such a dividing line is because you can't.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, you can't explain this to people, it's like, well, they're con- they're tr- they're fucking you actively, they're trying to fuck you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right, right, and so for me I don't understand why anybody would ever trust a company.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What the fuck? Anyways, again, this is the attitude that I think most of our generation has. This explains our skepticism. Yeaah. I think this is just insight into our skepticism. By the way, I think a healthy amount of skepticism when it comes to business is extremely, uh, important. I think it's something that everybody should have.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And we always talk preach about, you know, like the consumer being educated and like not pre-ordering games if you are worried about what the game is going to be and like that kind of thing. It's wait for the reviews when the game comes out. Sure. That's something that you should, that should apply to everything.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No. No. Because humans have survived for thousands of years without it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Also a lot of people are applying the attitude of, you know, like we're skeptical about companies running the internet. A lot of people are skeptical about the government running the internet.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So the Senate may have some bearing on. Well they already did, right? They did.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, which is pretty crazy because he works for the government, which in essence works for the people, us, and doesn't care.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's a, for me, I always hope that it, so like if this kind of stuff happens and then all the companies like immediately start taking advantage of us, then that's when they start losing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They, uh, I mean like, years ago they had those ISPs. I, I worked for one. For a little bit. Yeah. That was like, they, tiny little ISP that would serve, you know, 50 customers or whatever. Yeah, I remember that. That was way back in the day.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Eh, whatever, who cares? Which one's better? I mean, he can be a doctor and a professor, it's true.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They also apologize for all the Sherlock references. Perfect.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I got it. Alright. James is gonna be our foremost expert on the Omegaverse.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm voting with James. I also think Azriona should probably contact James because it sounds like Azriona and James have a lot to discuss.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, so that wins. Yea, new winner. Alright, Omegaverse Genetics. I wish there was fanfiction. I'd like to read some fanfiction from the Omegaverse next week. I think they need some graphs.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, here are the hard-hitting topics this week on Dude Soup. Alright, I'm putting Alyssa to sleep. Oh yeah, how's your massage pad working out?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sorry, one of these days. One of these days we'll figure, figure all this business out. Hey, welcome to a, uh, welcome to a, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cancer is bulletproof, it kills people, at least maybe it does. If Big Soup would get out of the way and let us research its effects, maybe we'd find out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't make a whole lot more sense later. Hi, I'm your host, uh, your host and gaming expert Lawrence Nontag. I've been waiting to call myself that my entire life. And I'm joined by a panel of, uh, similar experts in my- in my field. Uh, first up, uh, wheel expert Elise Willems.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh Jesus, we're already plugging that out. Yeah. Okay. Uh, then, uh, I guess, uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Finally saw that vine of the dude slipping on the greased up floor right into the oven, and it just explodes. Also those gay dudes cooking pancakes, that was a good vine. That- that's not racist.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, this podcast, this podcast is sponsored by three lovely sponsors, Honey, Casper, and Beachbody.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, honey is a new sponsor, so we'll have to explain what they do, but you can add them to your brow- you can add honey to your browser for free right now at joinhoney.com slash dude. Uh, you can also get $50 towards select mattresses by visiting- visiting casper.com slash dudesoup and using promo code dudesoup at checkout.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And you can get a free trial membership to Beachbody On Demand when you text Dude to 30 30 30. We'll hear more from all of those sponsors later.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But first of all, it's 1996, again, or whenever this, that shit happened the first time around. Columbine? Uh, I guess that was, no, there was even one before that, when Joe Lieberman and Hillary Clinton were rallying against violent games. Eww. And then Columbine, and then...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Tens and hundreds of mass shootings later and we rounded the block and we're back at it. Violent video games, ladies and gentlemen. Old people yelling at the kids to get off their lawn. That's right. Oh, I made a, uh, I made a thing for this. So here we go. We got a hot topic on our hands. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uuuh. But I love you for having made it. So, uh, so, uh, I'm trying out a new structure to talk about issues that are slightly political or certainly very charged. This one's a fucking slam dunk because we all love games. That's clear. I'm assuming all of you guys are pretty into video games too.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, so I don't think we have to tiptoe around this one a little too much. But, for the sake of structure, here's how this is gonna work. Essentially, I'll lay out...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I guess an early disclosure, let me say that, one, uh, personally, I find President Trump to be a pretty repulsive human being. Politics aside, just as a human, he's kinda garbage in my book, but there you have it. Two, I really like video games, uh, I don't think that, I don't want government regulating them personally, but that is independent of the data we'll discuss.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes, I know, right? And then three, uh, this discussion...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is tangential to but not about gun control. Uh, and I know that that's a topic that is very, is very, some people are very passionate about.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Good, it didn't work. Wait, let's call.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So yes, well, while I may bounce off that, our goal is not to discuss whether or not guns should be more or less regulated. I'll leave that to you guys. Uh, we, we just talk about video games here, except when we don't, and then we make everybody upset. So there you have it, those are my disclosures. Now, let's get into the timeline of what has happened recently, and why we're talking about violence in video games again, at this moment.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, on February 14th, there were 17 killed and 17 wounded in the Stoneman Douglas High School shooting in Parkland, Florida. Uh, on February 28th, uh, these are headlines basically that I'm gonna read that kind of narrate what's happened over the past month. It's from New York Times. Headline is, Trump stuns lawmakers with seeming embrace of comprehensive gun control.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, at the time, uh, Trump, President Trump called for comprehensive gun control legislation that would expand background checks to weapons purchased at gun shows and on the internet.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Keep guns from mentally ill people, secure schools, and restrict gun sales for some young adults. Even suggesting an assault weapons ban. So that was February 28th. March 1st. Uh. Psych. What?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, we'll get to the psych in a minute. March 1st, uh, President Trump meets with the NRA, tweets good, in parentheses great. Meeting in the Oval Office tonight with the NRA.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, and then that's when he met with, uh, some members of the, uh, the video game industry. Let's see here, there's a list somewhere that I got. Oh yea, here we go. Met with, uh, Robert Altman, the CEO of Zenimax, uh, which is the parent company for games, uh, such as Fallout. Met with Strauss Zelnick, the chief executive of Take-Two Interactive.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, and Take Two, published as Grand Theft Auto. And Michael Gallagher, the leader of the Entertainment Software Association, a Washington-focused lobbying organization for the games industry. Also met with several consumer watchdog groups. Oh, Benson's getting concerned.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In this meeting, uh, they, they watched this clip.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's fine. Uhm, and to your point, the game industry collaboratively put together their own little montage that was very inspiring and sweeping.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, Trump is not necessarily the most, the most pacifist leaning individual.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think, I think that's a pretty, uh, contention-free statement. Anyway. Alright, March 12th, uh...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Headline from the New York Times. Uh, so now he has basically rolled back everything he said. Uh, and then on Twitter, uhm,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What does that mean? It means it was good, great. It was good and great at the same time, but one in a parenthetical following. Anyway, we're not here to be grammar nazis.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, so that delivers us to where we are now. No one has said explicitly that video games are being used as a scapegoat to prevent any kind of gun control regulation from going through. But certainly that is the story that emerges if you read between the lines a little bit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So what's the deal? Let's look at some data now. Is there actually a link between violent games and violent behavior? There actually isn't much actual data. Why is that? Because.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, and this is from ABC News, uh, article in October 2017, before, before the most recent school shootings, but after a whole lot of them, which is a really, really horrible thing to say, but welcome to America.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There isn't a whole lot of funded research to link the two because of something called the Dickey Amendment.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] From studying firearm violence, an epidemic that the American Medical Association has since dubbed a public health crisis.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The amendment, which was first tucked into an appropriations bill signed into law by President Bill Clinton,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Stipulates that none of the funds made available for injury prevention and control at the Center for Disease Control and Prevention may be used to abdicate or promote gun control. A similar provision was included in the Appropriations Act of 2012.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, this is, now this is the real fun part. Named for the Republican Representative J. Dickey of Arkansas, a self-proclaimed quote, point man for the NRA, uh, unquote, on the hill,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The Dickey amendment does not explicitly ban CDC research on gun violence.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But along with the gun control line came a 2.6 million budget cut.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The exact amount that the agency had spent on firearm research the year prior, and a quiet wariness.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So not only did they chop the budget for the exact amount that gun violence was being used for, they banned any further money from being used for that,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And made it very clear to any other legislators that if they came after anything to promote gun, gun control research, that the NRA would, would be on their ass basically.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, and here's where it gets real lol-tastic. Uh, there is an op-ed from Dickie himself, J Dickie. This is a 2012 op-ed in the Washington Post, where he basically expresses, actually shit, we probably should research this. So thanks for passing that, and then writing this, uh, some years later, coming to your senses, but,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Better late than never. Sure. Uh, tell that to some gravestones, I guess? Whatever, man. Uhm, uh, sorry, I should be tone neutral when delivering the information, but some of this stuff is a little too rich to not snicker at.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, uh, yeaah, there's not actually a lot of exhaustive research and what is there is somewhat circumstantial because there are laws preventing direct research about gun violence. Which is real cool.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's weird. It's weird. I've been poking through a lot of it. Uhm, but I'll leave it to you guys to open up the hot topic. I really wanna... Should I hit the button again?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, just real quick, how is this? That was the, that was the off, if I hit it again.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, sure. Well, so, it's weird because I guess that kind of touches on where the burden of proof should be. You know? Do you have to prove that video games cause violence or do you have to prove they don't? I think it's certainly...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's understandable that anyone that sees someone with a controller in their hand gunning down human beings, participating in that activity in an interactive fashion, versus even just seeing it passively in a film,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think it's understandable that a human mind would go, oh crap, that's, that is, that is either desensitizing that person to doing it, it's training them to do it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Or it may even make them want to do it, whereas they didn't in the past. And those are actually three very distinct and separate issues that have been researched independently.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What do you guys think? I don't want to open up with a whole lot of data because there's a lot of it. But it all tackles various tangents. So I'm going to assume that since you guys have not perpetrated any mass shootings that I'm aware of,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That you probably don't think that video games lead directly to violence? I don't know, what do you guys think?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's a storm of controversy. Rebel without a cause, yea, yea, yea.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's uh, it's just pleasant that way. The ol' E to A. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But it was less than like six months. There's a, yea, to me it's an amusing...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I know it's, I know this is very reductive logic, but for all of the, for all of the semi-automatic weaponry used to kill people, they'll find anything but the semi-automatic weaponry to, uh, to get rid of. So yeah, from my school.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, I think, I'm pretty sure it was a gun-free zone, although, I remember, I do remember a kid getting arrested for having a hunting rifle in his car. So there was that, I guess. But, yeaah, they banned trench coats. So, and I just heard that, like, some schools are gonna ban backpacks now? To, uh, to prevent having concealed- The books are so heavy! Yeah, you get to carry them now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'll teach them Shakespeare. I'll, uh, I'll throw out some concluding thoughts, because I've got to read an ad soon, but I think certainly there are some common sense arguments against regulating video games, namely that, like Elise, you mentioned, the whole world plays these games, and somehow mass shootings are a peculiar


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, so there's something unique about North America, uhm, or sorry, the United States in particular. Uhm, and video games are not it, because that is worldwide media. Uhm, secondarily, in terms of just common sense things, why are we talking about regulating the media?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And not the instruments used to perpetrate these mass shootings.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, it doesn't make sense to me that to say on a philosophical level that kids can't handle a violent video game, but they can handle owning a gun. Uh, and kid, kid is hyper-reductive there. Uh, an 18 year old is essentially what we're talking about. Uh, when it comes to gun ownership.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, but apart from that, uhm, I-I predicted that I'd have to, uh, yeah, I just popped off your own guess.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But, uh, I, so I, I did a lot of, I did a lot of digging to find what research there is. I'll list that out, out all in the re-, uh, in the description if you're curious about what's out there. But essentially there are, there are, uhm, studies out there that basically say


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That video games do promote aggressive behavior. I think like James mentioned, there are also other things that promote aggressive behavior. Bullying, uhm, fighting and hitting. All of those do- do- there is a researched-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, there was a researched effect that people that play violent video games do act more aggressively.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, that said, there are other studies that also say, well,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In all things considered, video games are actually not as strong of an indicator of violent behavior as, let's see here, so,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll cite a couple of things very briefly. Uhm, from the Criminal Injustice Behavior Journal, uh, titled Violent Video Games and Aggression Casual Relationship or By-Product of Family Violence and Intrinsic Violent Motivation.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Bit of a mouthful, but it basically says, basically saying that those things were far more effective at predicting violent behavior.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Now that said, there are, there are a litany of studies that do


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That do, through research, prove a link in changed behavior to violent video games, namely that those that play violent video games act more aggressively, are more likely to bully or hit their classmates, but this is mostly in children.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And the idea is that kids shouldn't be playing this at all anyway. I think the core of it is do we trust parents, uh, to, to abide by ESRB ratings and monitor what their kids are doing, or does the government have to get involved?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, and it sounds absurd to say it that way but that is essentially what we're talking about.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In the sense that doesn't require government regulation and punishment. So right now, if a GameStop sells an M-rated game to a kid, they do not get punished by the government. There is no law. They can get sued, which sucks. And when I worked at a GameStop, they


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's true. Uh, that's another, that's another, uh, so yeaah, some, some,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In the shotgun of people that feel very strongly about particular issues that I've been engaging with on Twitter recently, one gentleman stated that he believed that the ESRB ratings did nothing, which I could not disagree with more, in my years at GameStop. And granted, this is pre-digital, or just about the turn of digital.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Every parent I talked to was hyper concerned about it. Uh, my favorite anecdote of all of that was, was one who came in asking for a copy of BMX 30.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When in fact the game is BMX Triple X, and it has nudity in it, and her kid was trying to pull a fast one. I really enjoyed telling her, no, no, no, that's BMX Triple X, it has nudity in it. Well, and her, like, her eyes flared. The kid's in the car, staring at her. Oh, I know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's poorly rendered. I delighted. Uh, cause I could tell that that mom was gonna have her kids ass when she went home.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If. It's awesome. God. Make it better and better. So if, if you work in a liquor store and you sell, if you sell alcohol to a minor, I believe that's a felony. I could be wrong.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, so I think, I think the question that is yet again being asked is, despite the, despite the admin of the ESRB, despite my personal experience that video game ratings do work,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Steam will have an age gate on M-rated games, and if somebody gets a Steam card, and they lie about their age,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's kind of relying on a parent, just kind of keeping tabs on your kid. But yeaah, it is kind of easy to access mature content.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, so it's your fault, but it's not the fault of all the kids that that person goes and shoots. So then, how do you solve the problem?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, uh, yeaah, uh, I personally, uh, pretty much profoundly agree, and I, I would think that small government conservative minded people would agree as well that we don't want the government regulating things they don't understand. But, uh, I think on similar lines, there, there is one thing,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] One major thing, and this is me personally talking, my own opinion.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's one thing that separates the country that has these on a monthly, almost weekly basis from the countries that don't. And that is very liberal access to high-powered, like, semi-automatic weaponry.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So if you want to talk in pure logical terms, how, that's the problem that needs to be solved according to me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, uh, so yeaah, there's no real respectful way to transition into an ad read after a topic like that. But, you know what is as American as the second amendment?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I am a hero, thank you. That is what you said. This podcast is sponsored by Honey, which is a browser add-on.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm just gonna leave that there. So, Honey is a, I use it on Chrome, but it's basically a plugin you get for your browser.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it, it basically auto-fetches a ton of discount codes and stuff, and pre-populates them onto websites you use.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You don't have to do anything. You just go about your business usually, and if there is a, like a coupon code or a promotional offer,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The little pop, uh, the little plugin will pop up and say, hey!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's some stuff. Click on this and see what it is. And it works because I used it last night.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, so you can shop online without- If you shop online without the best coupons, you're already paying too much, uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This, fortunately there's a free browser extension called Honey, that automatically finds the best coupons on the web, so you always get the best prices for everything online. I bought a pizza, with it. Uh, because who doesn't like pizza? This is America after all.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, Domino's. Oh, okay. And, uh, I just basically filled out my order. What I used to do was go to the coupon section and like pick one that kind of matched what I wanted. Not anymore. Not anymore!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This time I just got exactly what I wanted when I got to the checkout screen, the little plug-in box popped up and said,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it said there's like seven coupon codes that might, I always say coupon, I don't know why, coupon. Coupon. Coupon that, uh, match your order. I clicked just on a button, it went like, okay, evaluating codes, it was like, doop doop doop doop, and then it found the one that saved the most money, matched it to what I ordered.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The more I ate, the more I saved. Man. I'm rich and horrifically overweight.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So it's free, it takes seconds to install, and they claim it will save you tons of money. All you have to do is go to joinhoney.com slash dude on it. Let me pull that up. Yea, it's uh, you can even search all the codes and it'll even tell you


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It'll even tell you like, oh, this one was used five minutes ago. Some of them don't say explicitly what they do because it's also user submitted. So if somebody has a code.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So yeaah, once more. Don't be an Adam. Be a better dude soup sponsor, or a supporter than Adam is. Please go to Jo- uh, let me make sure I get the url right. Adam needs it. Anyway.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] JoinHoney.com slash dude, uh, to install that, install that plugin. So, thanks for the sponsorship, honey. I look forward to having you be my quiet little secret.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Even though now the secret's out. So thanks every- Thanks honey for the sponsorship. And check him out. I had a pretty good experience.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, alright, uhm, so yeaah, I don't know if you guys have any closing thoughts. Here's a question for you guys, although I think Adam you specifically pretty much already answered it, but the big closing question I have for, for I guess James and Elise. If, and this is a big if.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If let's say proper research is eventually done, the NRA gets out of the way and lets us do gun violence research. Gun violence research. If there is a...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In that case, do you think it's appropriate for the US government to start regulating, uh, video game sales and access to video games?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I guess the follow question is, do you think the populace, the populace themselves are knowledgeable enough about video games as a medium to vote the proper legislators in to make those laws?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They were better at covering it up back then, weren't they? What the fuck? Well, this dude just did it backwards.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] To be fair though, what else did they have to do? The game is already there. How dare you. Sorry.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What was the show called? Damn it. There was an anime where like, and yes, all interesting points come from anime. Yeah, of course. But it was actually a pretty cool premise, basically all these kids, like it was all about augmented reality or virtual reality.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And the kids would basically talk about augmented reality stuff as though it was real. And they would go on all these like very tense adventures to save their digital cats or whatever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I was like, oh that's kind of cool, it's just baked into the premise of this world that digital things are as important as real things. So yeaah, I kind of vibe on the idea of a story of people being in war and at the end it's revealed it was a video game, but to everybody in it, that is life.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is she gonna faint again? Jesus Christ. Oh! She's got queen magic. Anyway. Frozen with her queen powers. Uhm. Woah! That's- that is raunchy. Jesus.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's like a, I feel like, so she's frozen with her magic power and then stabbed him with his own sword. I feel like a really good horror device that I've seen in other movies is like being paralyzed while terrible things are happening to you. People always talk about sleep pilot.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I got a, I got a rad shot of Valium. Uh, but yeaah, I kinda woke up in the middle. I didn't, I didn't, it didn't hurt and I wasn't terrified. My brain wasn't there enough. But it was kinda dreamlike. Oh, Queen on Queen! Let's see what this shit is. They're gonna throw their like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, well she kicked the pawn in like the head.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This bitch is raunchy, damn! Clean it on her? Yea. Back in the- back in the sleeve?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, this is legit. I think I actually like this better than the Mortal Kombat fatality.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So this is a little fucked up though. The king is like all old and grizzled, but the queen is young and hot. Yea. She has to be able to birth children. Man, the middle ages were awesome.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, uh, we haven't gone long enough without, uh, offending someone. So let's do it right now. Did I hit the button again? This isn't really a hot topic. Whatever. Oop, that was everything. Gosh. God dang it, Chrome.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I want that tab off. There we go. Boom. Alright, so this is, this is kind of interesting mostly in regards to like how people online communicate. I think desensitization is kind of an issue here. So, uh, headline from PCGamer.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, so he had a homophobic remark against an opposing player. Uh, that was a while ago. Uh, and then, let's see here.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, let's see here. So as, as I recall, uhm, and I haven't, I haven't, haven't really put the, uh, the laser journalist focus on this particular story, I just kinda read this article.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But, uh, my understanding was that he spammed, he spammed emotes while Malik was on screen during Overwatch League. Malik. Malik. Now look at that. Now I'm the racist one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Let's see here, let me pull it up here. So it's just, it's just, uh, it's just Trihex smiling. Oh, it's even on Know Your Meme. So yeaah, actually I watch Trihex, he's, he's awesome and he's a beast at Mario, holy shit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But there is, there is a thing in Twitch chat where if a woman or a person of color shows up on screen they will spam either, what is it, hello, hello boys? I never use it so I don't type it out, but uhm.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, yeah, so that's kind of what I find fascinating about this is that emotes have circumstantial meaning. Uhm, I remember that Monkus, which is Pepe, uh, was banned from, uhm, was banned from GDQ.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Which is just, it's just a little Pepe sweating. I think Pepe was the problem there, his connections to alt-right stuff. They also banned haha, which is a little nerd, like, grimacing. It's meant to, uh... It's banned? Yeah, because people spam that when people are being cringy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Basically. Okay. So whenever somebody said something cringy on stream, all of these faces would start spamming and it made people feel self-conscious and judged.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Which they were. So it's uhm, it's interesting how like, like you guys were saying, the hive mind, the sort of crowd cheering aspect gets a lot of people to sort of


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You could call it cyberbullying if you wanted to be real strong. It's, it's just like, it's just like shouting at a sports game basically. People say some messed up stuff and they don't get kicked out of the stadium.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The core of it is, no one spams when a white man is on the screen.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, but people spam when a woman is on screen and people spam when a person of color is on screen. So it kind of goes back to the idea and I'm gonna hit the hot topic thing anyway. Fuck it. Is this a hot topic? Shit, it's not. Try it again. Uh oh. That's bad. The button's stuck down. Well, whatever. It's not gonna unstick, is it? Well, it flashed for just a second.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, and he also represents, he represents the league, he represents the brand, sponsors are watching this shit, so, so grow up. It's an adolescent sport. The audience can do one thing, the people representing the brand


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The thing is, like, people like them, but if they don't win tournaments, they don't get paid. A lot of esports teams, I don't think, kind of, like the audience isn't big enough to allow the hype man sort of thing to happen yet.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is a, this is Firebat Hero, one of the more colorful Brood War players from South Korea.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah, well I say because most, most brood war players are robots, uh, cause guess what, all they do is play brood war all day, every day.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Most of them, when you dedicate every piece of your brain to playing a game as good as you possibly can. Sure.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, let me scroll up here. It's time, time for another ad read. Uh, this time. How can you perform your best and dance around the stage once you win your brood war match? Unless you get a good night's sleep. You can do that on a Casper mattress. Sponsors this podcast. So since this is a


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm gonna say that this is a fuck yeah America episode. Uh, I am proud to say that Casper mattresses are made in the USA. That's right. Star Spangled Banner. Stars and Stripes in that mattress.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is, this is me speaking personally, but I'm, the older I get, the more sentimental I get about living in the United States. To the point where I just wanna, I just wanna wear like American flag, uh, taekwondo pants all day, drink a light beer as jets fly over my head.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is unironic, by the way. I seriously love the United States. Uhm, so I actually take a bit of pride when we get a sponsor that makes a product in the United States. If you are in the United States, I'd like to think that that means something to you too, supporting.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, the original Casper mattress combines multiple supportive memory foams for quality sleep surface with just the right sink and bounce. I just moved recently and let me tell you it is, after a long day of packing and unpacking it is real nice to just sink into that, that squishy but not too squishy marshmallow and drift to sleep.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, they also offer, and this is the best part of it, a risk-free 100-day trial.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, they say considering that you spend a third of your life on a mattress, uh, it's important to get the right one. Uhm, and to that effect, Casper gives you 100 nights to try it out. If you don't like it, you can return it. Uh, no questions asked. And you get a, you get a free hundred nights of delicious Casper sleep.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, and we also have a promo code for you. Uh, you can get $50 towards Select Mattresses by visiting casper.com slash dudesoup and using our code dudesoup at checkout. Terms and conditions do apply, but once more, that's $50 towards Select Mattresses by going to casper.com slash dudesoup and using code dudesoup at checkout. So, thank you Casper for, uh, for supporting the Stars and Stripes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And thank you listeners for supporting our sponsors. Thank you Casper. Alright. Uh, let's, let's, let's net hard. We're, uh, we're on the, we're on the final stretch here. So last week, last week we saw the, the Flopitron. Let me look that up here.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Which is a stack of old, old computer equipment that has been sequenced to play.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've noticed now with multiple times, with hard netting entries, the cat piano being the other one, Van Halen's jump is really


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Dot matrix printers can actually produce a wide range of, uh, tones depending on the, uh, the text that you feed it to print.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So what I'm assuming that happened here is they just left the ink ribbon out and they have a text file that they're printing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There are some dorky bands that I used to listen to that would make entire songs with just a dot matrix printer and then they would send it to text file to print. So, it can happen. If you've never heard one of these monstrosities.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, uh, land of confusion, inspector gadget theorem, axle F.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Given, uh, given the definition of hard netting, I think this ranks in pretty high also considering that I respect this man for what he's done. Jack Ma, uh, I believe the owner of Alibaba, which is the Chinese version of Amazon,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Fabulously Rich has basically paid for his own movie where he beats eight celebrity martial artists with the power of Tai Chi. That includes, uh, Jackie Chan, Donnie Yen, Jet Li, and Sam Oh Hung, I believe?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah. Yes, you're right, but still.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is, if, if I were him, this is exactly what I would do. I would, I would have a grand bash out with Scott Adkins. And I would win. So I think out of...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, he's not in bad shape. I'll give it to Mr. Ma. You mean, that billionaire is... Yea, weird, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well taken care of. I won't say that he has the, uh, the camera presence of all of the, all of the stuntmen and martial artists that he paid to let him, to let him whoop their ass on camera, but.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, he's not bad. Not bad for an older guy. Ooh, right to the pills.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's also a boxer in here, essentially it's him, it's him, uh, bashing down all of the world famous martial arts styles. That's the whole movie? Basically, yea.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, yes, it's uh. It's just something he made. It's available on Youku, a Chinese video channel owned by Alibaba. So he put it on his own service.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But then, then like, CSS goes a little wacky when you- Sorry guys. No, hold on, let me scroll. At least it does. Is that it? That's not it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There, okay, it's bigger. I'm your hero. Good job, Elise. Good thinking. Donnie is so cool.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I bel- I believe there is a, there is also a Kung Fu movie coming out with Jet Li, Jackie Chan, and Sima Hong. The, the Holy Trinity.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, well anyway, uh, so, so that, those are your contenders this week. We've got the Flopitron, a, uh, an amalgamation of 80s hardware that is sequenced to produce music, and Jack Ma paying for his own video with celebrity martial artists in which he gets to beat them all up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well there you have it, uh, Flopitron is your winner again, uh, maintaining the title for another week. Uhm, boo I think.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Adam, I respect your logic there. I do too. I thought Jack Ma was netting pretty hard.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, now that we got our music, there's one ingredient left. The body. Jack Ma has trained. But if you want to be Jack Ma someday, you too have to train. And you can do that with a Beachbody On Demand membership!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And they're also sponsoring this podcast, uh, wouldn't you know it, Beachbody...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Off-offers all sorts of exercise routines, including uh, Paiyo P90X Insanity 21 Day Fix T25 and the 3 Week Yoga Retreat. I'm sure there's-there's some Tai Chi mixed in there somewhere. So if you want to uh, live-if you want to live like Earth's greatest hero, get on Beachbody On Demand at the moment.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is too distracting. Alright, uh, Beachbody On Demand also has workouts that range from 10 minutes to over an hour.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So if you just got a couple of minutes on your lunch break, you can do some stretching, you can get some calorie burn in, everything, everything matters, uh, when you're, when you're pursuing fitness. Uh, 100 calories burn is 100 more than you had before you started working out, so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, and since abs are made in the kitchen, the Beach Party On Demand also gives you information on meal prep with a variety of recipes and simple but proven eating plans. So they got you on the activity, they got you on the nutrition, you'll be Jack Ma in no time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, uh, our listeners can get a free trial membership to Beachbody On Demand by texting DUDE to 30 30 30.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's just the word D-U-D-E to the number 30-30-30. And that's it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So thanks Beachbody for the sponsorship. Uh, thanks for making everyone a little hotter out there. Uh, us included.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And hey, you know what? Thanks to you guys for getting through yet another dude soup. I say that like it's a trial, this should be easy. It's fine. But uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Listen, the, there's a whole conspiracy to remove evidence of a warming period during the middle ages, we're just warming now, that's it. Fuck all, nevermind. I'm, I'm letting my SJW show, or whatever. That has nothing to do with social justice, does it?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just accept it, man. You either live in servitude or you die. Those are your options.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What is another word for joke? That's really racist, Elise. They're Japanese.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, but yeaah. Thank you so much. I truly appreciate it. And believe it or not, I actually appreciate hearing from you guys too.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's uh, the discussion is what I like. The exchange of ideas, and I enjoy seeing people do it in a civil way. It restores my faith in humanity, so thank you for giving me that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, uh, we'll be back next week. If you liked this episode or this podcast in general, a humble request, uh, recommend it to a friend, uh, leave a feedback, leave a comment. But you don't have to do that. It's a busy, busy world out there. You got a lot of stuff to do, so if you want to, that's fine. If not, that's fine too. I'm just happy you're here with us. And, uh, we'll be back with you guys next week. However, if you are watching live, we've got the post-show coming right up. We'll, uh, we'll be, uh, looking at some fan art. There's, there's tits. I don't want to spoil anything, but there's some big old titties. Uh, so yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, uh, yeaah, so, so, get excited for that. And we'll be back in a moment because we got splatters and they're not infinite, so. Thanks again. We'll see you guys next week. Bye everybody. Bye.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Of course he did. What are you, crazy? Those are $500 toys and people are buying them up like nothing. They say the boring company. How hard is this? Come on, guys. You should know that. This is fucking Elon Musk. Not, not, well, also he's a genius. He's a genius, but like. But yeah, but look, that's absolutely something that lots of people would want. But $500?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is he the peanut butter guy? No. Oh, it's George Washington Carver. Denzel Washington. Uh huh. Natural science.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like welcome to Dude Soup, we'll tell you the truth. You won't believe our lies because we won't catch you by surprise. Because if there's a topic in our eyes, we're gonna look through the disguise and try to, uh, realize the potential.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I feel like anytime there are these, these musings that it just encourages the audience to blast it with dislikes or whatever to try to prove our, like, thesis, our hypothesis.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's not a new motor or anything. Just the jetpacks.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sorry Lawrence, I remembered what I was thinking of. 2014 E3 Announcement Battlecry.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A handful of factors that align in the exact way that they come out on top and get the water and the sunshine. Yeah. Yes. Uhm, that's what these games do. They, this actually like looks kinda cool. Because it's a lie. It's a giant lie. Okay, maybe, maybe.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think the difference now too is like when you have, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A smaller studios or indie studios that are making free to play games that can compete with like a triple A that's trying to like, you know, you make PUBG and it's free to play.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like of course you're going to develop a huge user base and maybe you're going to surpass


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The other like competing AAA studios that are pay to play and maybe more polished looking.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you're jonesing for that genre and that play style, maybe you'll get through that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'll say this, like I haven't played a ton of PUBG, but I do really like the


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The fort building and fortification aspect of Fortnite, because I feel like in a game like a battle royale where it's like, some of it's just like, kill the clock.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, you're just counting down, you're watching the area close on you. Being able to like, kind of double down on fortifying an area and making that choice of like, well I don't know if the circle's actually gonna close on me over here.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm gonna take my chance and I'm gonna fortify this area and it may work out for you and that may be awesome and you may like do something really cool with that or it may fuck you and you may be like, oh I have to abandon this. But I do think that's like a really


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cool aspect to that style of play. It kind of gives it another level and makes it feel a little bit less like you're just mindlessly hiding or running around while you're waiting for that clock to count down.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Back when we used to work at Game Trailers together, Dawn would go to Universal Studios.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When we went as a team, Bruce surprised us and took us to Universal Studios. It's kind of an end of the year treat. Dawn, uh, was so happy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, and, and I think Bruce told him by saying like, he texted him and said, meet us at the gates of Universal Studios. And Don was like, what?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But when we went to go do the, we all went as a group to do the studio tram tour and Don kinda like hustled ahead and then he got like an outside seat and he was like, this is the best seat on the tram. Like he knew. So he knew that he was gonna be in the optimal spot to see everything.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, and he was so disappointed that King Kong wasn't active that day.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, he just, you want the best for Dawn. I'll just tell you that much. But I will say that I thought it was very selfish because he's probably seen that tour hundreds of times. Yeah, he should have told someone else where the best is. Yeah, no.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I had a mental image of Lawrence like talking about, oh I couldn't cut on this cutting board, and then pull out to reveal he was using a surfboard. Dang it! There are different types of cutting boards, sometimes we use like floppy ones, so that way you can, you know,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Apparently Jimmy Fallon has like, a crazy reputation of being like a-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hardcore party guy and his, his relationship with his, I shouldn't go, I shouldn't go.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, you know the story that Lorne Michaels came to him during his tenure at SNL and he said, you're gonna be the next host of The Tonight Show.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's- that's his life. He's vanilla, right? He's like- He's safe. Yeah, I love when Adam develops a new, like, one-sided rivalry with a celebrity. I have no rivalry. It's like one of my favorite things.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I haven't actually, I mean, so the thing is, people talk about us in like subreddits, YouTube comments, Twitter, etc. They speculate about our lives, how we are personally behind the cameras, etc. So I, I, no, but I have a frame of reference now for thinking like, it's not necessarily great to speculate or


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And there are a lot of like, blind gossip sites. What would you say about every once in a while on Dude Soup? I present you guys with a piece of blind gossip. And then we try to guess who it is.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, so, there's this really popular blog called Crazy Days and Nights, which is just a blind gossip.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The most recent one is- Really? Horrific?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, this foreign-born be- should- Lauren, am I derailing you? No, that's cool, fuck it. I was just gonna talk about a movie.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I used to do Snowpiercer Report when I produced Pop Culture Clash at Game Trillers. I'm stealing your idea.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The blind gossip. Okay, I mean, are you sure, Lawrence, are you sure you want this in this episode? You wanna wait?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, it's bad, but this foreign born B plus list, mostly movie actress who should have been nominated for an Oscar this year is getting a consolation prize from the group instead. Anyway, she says that she went on a date recently and when she told the guy about her past, he beat her.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That being said, uh, series of unfortunate events comes back in a month or less than a month and I'm super excited for that. And there are instances of great books being adapted into good movies like Annihilation which Lawrence has been trying to seg to for a while now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In Amsterdam, high in my room. Just google Anthony Hopkins and Milo Estevez and see what comes up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Our, you know, our, we talked about our experience with Sexwing where an episode would go up and somebody would post a comment like, oh they should change this thing for the next episode and it's like, well. It's been done for ten years.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Area X is really like, they kinda nickname it the Shimmer.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I thought it was a really good movie. I think that uhm, some people had issues with the pacing, feeling like it was maybe s-slow leading up. I...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I had no problem with it. I expected it actually to be that, just that kind of, of slow.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, storytelling leading up to Area X, but coming from having read the Southern Reach trilogy, I was a little bit disappointed by the fact that they weren't unpacking


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The mystery of AriaX, the mystery of the relationships between these women.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In, in the way the book did, uhm, because there are a lot of differences, and that's not a bad thing. I, I felt like the movie was adapted in a great way that actually made for, like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A more, cause I think sometimes like a lot of the concepts of the books, you need just a lot of like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Look at these big ideas and these big concepts and have something to take away from them. In a movie where you're just showing everything, you can't have somebody standing there and just talking for 10 minutes about


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] About the what ifs, uhm, but so like in the movie where it's like there is a focus on relationships, which the book


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Of course she is going into area X to try to figure out what happened to her husband, but


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oscar Isaac is not, like what, what you see in the movie with him is not what happens in the book. So they're, and you know, you don't have the character like the mother who's talking about, like they're, it's, it, the relationship aspect is not really a focus, but the focus on like the morality of area, something like area X saying,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Who are we to try to stop this process? Should we, the, the concept like Lawrence said, the conservation of energy of saying uhm,