[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I guess I can. Well, I got some homework to get out of the way first. Uh, second, Dan Schneider, thank you for joining us today.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You gotta do the 90 minute stretch. And then Alana Pierce, thank you for joining us today. Uh, alright, this episode is sponsored by, speaking of ads, sorry.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, uh, sponsored by Beachbody, Hims, and Stitchfix. You can get a special free trial membership to Beachbody on demand when you text Dude to 30 30 30. Uh, you can try Hims for a month today for $5 at 4Hims.com slash soup.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And you can keep, uh, when you keep all five items in your Stitch Fix box, you get an additional 25% off by going to StitchFix.com slash Dude Soup. Alright, bone talk. Let's talk bones.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then I'll open it up, but, so, uh, I guess, abbreviated version of the story was, somebody cut me off on the 405, I ride a motorcycle by the way. Somebody cut me off, I swirred out of the way to miss them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They were serving because they didn't want to slow down. The cars in front of them were slowing down. So I ran into the back of the car in front of them.


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[Assistant] I don't, it was kind of a blur, I hit the ground, that hurt, but my bike drove home, I went to the doctor, I have a separated shoulder now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So now the bone is just poking up. And that's just how it is.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Exactly, they said it's, you don't lose any mobility, you don't lose any, uh, strength, you don't lose any range of motion. It's just a bump. You just gotta bump now.


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[Assistant] I uh, I'm a horrible monster. I already have been, I actually-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know what happened. I think I broke a rib. Uh, I used to do MMA and somebody like fell on me with his elbow. Felt my ribs separate and then pop back into place which is a really gross feeling. But now there's just a bump there and it never going away. When did you do MMA? That was like two years ago.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You never really spar that hard. Okay. And if people are wearing headgear and stuff, you gotta be like a pro boxer to knock someone out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, I mean, I'd, I'd tag people pretty hard, but yeaah. I'm a beefy man. I got lumps everywhere.


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[Assistant] So anyway, uhm, yeaah, that's just something I'm gonna live with now, but whatever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I took side streets for four weeks, about.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, and like, there's also like an eco mode on the bike that throttles it's like, acceleration and stuff. So I left it on that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] To just be safe. And then I like stepped it up to normal and then to sport and then started taking it on the highway and stuff.


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[Assistant] But based on that, I had a question I wanted to pose to you guys. What is an event that's happened in your life? Much like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Get a really long lanyard and just have the brace attached to it. Like the thing for sunglasses. Exactly. And equally as cool.


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[Assistant] Let me challenge you here, Dan. Yeah. Cause for lunch I had a Euro plate.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah. And the gyro was kinda spongy, it wasn't very well grilled. Well that's a shame. It wasn't crunchy, so...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's always a little worse. Speaking of, uh, speaking of trivial problems.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, yeaah, it seems like if you're gonna watch other people play video games, you might have to watch another ad in front of it. But before we get to that, we have an ad of our own.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This podcast is sponsored by Beachbody. Uhm, if you don't want a streamer bod, you gotta sign up for Beachbody. Uh, so it's Beachbody On Demand basically. It's a, it's a streaming fitness program. Uh, they have all of their programs online. Uh, all the big ones anyway. Uh, I've been doing yoga a lot lately.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm a little bit out of it because of the injury, but when, when's my, uh, oh, Dan is grimacing. Oh, shh. Okay, don't show the TV right now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Doesn't need the overhead required to go to the gym. Now there's some things you can't do.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like I said, I've been doing yoga. That's the first thing I'm gonna go back to once my shoulder's good enough to...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know when that's gonna be. Might be some, uh, might be some rickety yoga workouts in the near future, but gotta get back on it. I don't wanna, I don't want this golden body to fade away.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, you guys can try it out for free. You can get a free trial membership by texting DUDE, that's D-U-D-E, to 30-30-30. And that's access to the entire platform, which also includes, uh, nutrition guides, uh, support forums and stuff like that if you have questions. Uh, and all the workouts of course. That's DUDE to 30-30-30. Thank you Beachbody for the sponsorship, and thank you for


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Thank you for giving me Ted and his great yoga instructional videos. I love Ted. Classic Ted.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is a weird mix. I don't know how to describe what's going on here. Because I'm carrying around like 20 pounds of fat, but also a decent amount of muscle mass.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I have decent cardio because I run a lot. So I don't know.


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[Assistant] Uh, but yes, advertising. Uh, so this happened... just yesterday, I think. Throw that up there.


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[Assistant] So, uh, Twitch has a program called Twitch Prime, which is an integration with Amazon.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And what they did is essentially if you link your Amazon and Twitch accounts,


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[Assistant] You will then get ad-free viewing across all of Twitch, across the entire platform.


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[Assistant] They just recently announced that they're rolling that back. So Twitch Prime will no longer give you ad-free viewing on Twitch.


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[Assistant] It will give you one sub subscription per month that you can give to an individual channel.


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[Assistant] That will give you ad for viewing on that channel, provided that that streamer has enabled it.


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[Assistant] But what's interesting to me is just the state of online advertising in general. Uh, so I was really confused by this because I thought it was a weird act of goodwill for Twitch to basically give ad free to everyone that's a Twitch or an Amazon Prime subscriber.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It could be that, but they didn't, like there was no lowering because there was nothing to acquire. They were essentially giving out something for free to Amazon Prime subscribers, of which pretty much everyone is.


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[Assistant] But there's also this, which is an interesting thing. So Netflix has been...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, for given Netflix produced shows, they'll also run ads for other shows that Netflix has produced.


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[Assistant] Uhm, it's a new thing. Uh, usually you can just, you pay for Netflix, you can just start a show and binge watch the whole way through without interruption. Now they're starting to slip in internal commercials, but commercials nonetheless.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So it's, I find it odd, uh, and, and this is, this is where you guys can weigh in, essentially. To me, it always seemed like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] 20 seconds maybe, which is way different. And 5 seconds if you do skip it. Yea, right? It's crazy.


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[Assistant] So it, I was always curious if that ratio was ever gonna shift back.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well yeaah, right? Once the generation that grew up watching that kind of content ages up into a bracket where they're now a very enviable demographic, certainly advertisers would follow suit. I don't know, do you guys see that that's what's happening now?


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[Assistant] Uh, I don't know how much internet content all of you consume, but this does kinda seem to be the motion in it for me.


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[Assistant] I was curious if, if that had changed your attitude towards content consumption online at all.


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[Assistant] Pretty much, yea. As long as you have Amazon Prime, and you connect it to your Twitch account, then you then have Twitch Prime. Which, at this moment, gives you like one free sub a month.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And some digital game codes of whatever partnerships they happen to strike that month.


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[Assistant] Yeah. Well, I mean, there was that, the concessions ad, but now there's just straight up normal commercials before the trailers.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So to me, there is this weird creep of advertising into everything. Like, they show you ads at gas stations now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, some people fucking run that shit in the back of their Lyft or Uber.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Interesting. Yea, and the advertising to kids is a whole other, whole other thing because there's, in America at least, tons of government regulations about how you can advertise to kids. It used to be very, very stratified because blocks of TV would be very obviously children's content. You couldn't advertise cigarettes.


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[Assistant] Now on YouTube, you have content that's ostensibly for adults. You have streams that are ostensibly for adults.


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[Assistant] But the creators don't care, even if they're full aware that their base is mostly children.


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[Assistant] And then advertising gets really weird, which in my opinion was one of the big motivators of adpocalypse and stuff like that.


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[Assistant] Advertisers didn't want to be associated with, you know, the N-word and racist crap. Nazis.


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[Assistant] Uh, but at the same time, I also feel like there was not a whole lot of accountability for the advertising that was knowingly reaching like an under 13 year old.


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[Assistant] Uh, audience? I mean, YouTube has a tick box. I agree that I'm 13 when they sign up. And that's the extent of their accountability.


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[Assistant] Mothers will come up and say, hey, watch it with my five-year-old kid. And I'm like, no! Why? You sound like a terrible parent.


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[Assistant] Yeah, exactly, right. Who wouldn't be, who would be mad at this face?


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[Assistant] Uh, well, so it's funny you bring that up, uh, because I think that that hints at something that complicates this issue, and Rooster Teeth is kind of core to this too, which is direct revenue. And sports is a big factor in this too, there's MLB TV.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You can pay the league directly to just get content. And typically when you do that, you enjoy an ad free experience because you're subsidizing the cost of it directly. You don't have to go through an advertiser.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I agree, yea, if you're, if you're consuming content for free, someone's gotta pick up the tab and usually it's advertising.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But, uh, when you're paying for a service, like in the instance of Twitch, if you're paying a subscription to a...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, streamer or content provider, then you can then watch that channel ad-free provided that that, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Say our own ads? Ah, bummer. Sorry, I thought- Is there our own ads or no?


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[Assistant] Usually they can just determine that stuff programmatically. It's what YouTube does. Right. The longer you watch an ad, Facebook for sure, the longer you like halt scrolling on a particular picture or ad, they collect all that data.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But, it's funny too because behind the scenes Twitch was trying a lot of stuff to sort of gamify running ads. They had these like, oh, if you run two minutes of ads, we'll double your rates this week. And like a lot of RPG style stuff. Yeah, it was cute.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Between all that and the rolling back of ad-free, it seems like Twitch is making a concerted effort to beef up their advertising inventory.


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[Assistant] Which to me is odd because they have a strong direct revenue stream already. So what Rooster Teeth thrives on is first members.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Giving us money directly to pay for the content that hopefully we make that they enjoy. Uh, but, you know, we have advertisements too. This podcast is an example of that. So, I guess a healthy business has multiple revenue streams.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But it's interesting that they would subsume one thing under another like that.


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[Assistant] Which was actually very good. They, uh, they actually, they also license more bulk movies than Netflix does now. So yeah, if you want to watch just a movie, Amazon Prime typically has a better video library than Netflix. Because they, they thrive off their own original stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So they don't need to license a million movies from Showtime anymore. Amazon's still playing that game for some reason.


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[Assistant] I can usually find a garbage like mid-90s romantic comedy to watch.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They, uh, yeaah, they drop it. My understanding is there's basically no subtlety to it. It's just Jason Voorhees stalks people and then stabs them. That's it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then he gets enraged if teens have premarital sex and that's basically, they start to like joke about that as the series goes on.


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[Assistant] Uh, we got some people in chat bringing up a lot of tweets from Justin Wong. I actually reached out to him. So, he is the, uh, the XVP at Twitch. Uhm, he laid out a bunch.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Makes sense is that Twitch, like any other business, even if they have a strong revenue stream, like subscribers or...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Direct payments. There's no reason to not chase other revenue streams, especially if it won't substantially impact the user experience.


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[Assistant] It's funny because yeaah, Netflix raised their price by $2 and the internet was awash in momentary rage. Oh, I'm cancelling my account. And I know like maybe one person that actually did.


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[Assistant] And this is, this is actually something that Daniel made a really good point about, trading against the audience's tolerances.


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[Assistant] That's something we have to bear in mind every day. Yeah. Uhm, we'll, you know, we'll get offers for like, hey, sponsor gameplay for this, sponsor gameplay for that. And it's always sort of...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Getting a measure of the temperature of the audience because you have to give them good, unsponsored, genuine content. And that sort of deposits in the bank.


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[Assistant] And then you withdraw to get a good delicious paycheck that raised your teeth crashes. And that's just sort of the balance of it.


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[Assistant] Yeaah, so, yeaah, I didn't want to make anything I said that sounded like bristly with some faceless corporation that's, uh, slave driving us.


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[Assistant] We, we largely have the call about what sponsored content we do, which is great because it lets us weigh the tolerance of the audience as long as, you know, we're talking to them and listening to what they have to say.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, but yes, they're not, there are a lot of content creators that won't do that. Uhm, and you know, then it gets weird. It's like how far can you push the audience's tolerance and then you're just gonna go somewhere else.


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[Assistant] So yeaah, but uh, yeaah, it's interesting being in this position where, yeaah, we both, uh, know what's going on here.


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[Assistant] Anyway, speaking of, we've got about 25 minutes. That's built up some tolerance. Let's cash out with another ad. And this one, this one's a doozy, so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Speaking of tolerance, have you lost yours in your dick region?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, uh, one of our sponsors is HIMS, and they are a telemedicine service that can help with erectile dysfunction.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, they claim that 25% of new ED cases are guys under 40.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So even though erectile dysfunction has a stigma of maybe being for older men, uh, if you're experiencing that, you shouldn't feel shame about it, it's just something that happens. Kind of like having a dislocated shoulder or a weird bump in your lip, so I still got that little guy too. Uh, so,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hims asks why turn to weird home remedies when you can actually talk to a real doctor and get medically proven, uh, medication for that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Now before I go down that road, uh, I would like to say, because some of our audience has had a problem with the sponsor, I would like to say that we would encourage you to do what's best for your health.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And largely what's best for your health is to develop a relationship with a doctor so they know all your medical history, they know you, uh, personally, and that you can speak with them honestly about problems you're having.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, if you have a relationship with a doctor like that, we'd absolutely encourage you to talk to that doctor. And if that doctor recommends medication, uh, then you can transfer that to HIMS and have that prescription filled online, which is a lot easier than going to a pharmacy or something like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, but, you know, uh, I don't think we'd recommend that anyone chase down a medication right away. Certainly, you should look, you should uh, investigate all possible options with a doctor you trust.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That said, HIMS will also pair you with a doctor that will give you an evaluation online. And that involves filling out a little survey, answering some questions back and forth.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I tried to do the ED part of it, I'm actually doing the finasteride part, but I tried to do the ED part of it, and they made me, I had to lie twice right away. They basically asked me if I'd been to a doctor in the last year.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then, or asked if I had an in-person evaluation last year. And then asked me if I had a blood pressure medica- er, sorry, blood pressure reading in the last month.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Both of which weren't true, but they make you swear those things and give them numbers. Now granted, it's possible to make those up, but...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I would trust that for a service about erectile dysfunction that only people that are afflicted by this condition might actually look into it. Regardless. Again?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Check with your doctor, uhm, if you don't have a relationship with a doctor, HIMS can pair you with one and you can ask all sorts of questions and they will, they will answer you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They say it's erectile without the dysfunction. Uh, hard made easy. Because products are shipped directly to your door.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, you can try Hems for a trial month today for just five dollars. Uh, they say it'll get you started for five bucks while supplies last. You have to see the website for full details. But that's at 4Hems.com slash soup. Once more, that's 4Hems.com slash soup. So thank you Hems for the sponsorship.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Thank you for providing help to the soft boys out there who need it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it's not often that there's some pretty snappy one-liners in ad copy, but that's a good one. That's a really good one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, and then also on that topic, I know that this can be a little sensitive for people in the audience.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, I did get a full letter from the lead doctor for HIMS as company, it took a few months, but basically wrote back this whole thing saying, or explaining, addressing some of the concerns you guys had. So that was in a few podcasts ago. Uhm, if you, if you want that email, you can leave a comment or something and I'll forward it to you. Uhm, just because I want to make sure everybody's cool with that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I wanna say more Sonora's beautiful voice. Oh, thank you. You're welcome. So, uh, here- What am I doing?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, this deals with characters from the video game series WarioWare. I know that Tyler is very familiar with that. Uh, so take a look.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've always, I've always thought, like even since I was like 12, that there's going to be a day where I'm in a nursing home and I'll get really excited because there will be like a great, like just a great yellowed Super Nintendo sitting somewhere and I'll be the pathetic dude trying to hook it up to a holo cube or whatever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I guess if you have high standards for how you comment on and cover the WarioWare universe of games perhaps. No jokes. None.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We can get mad about whatever. We're yelling at cyberpunk tweets now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Speaking of which, roll that shit, Omar. It's time for Cyberwatch. Yes, he's on it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So Tyler, uh, you must be familiar with the biggest video game ever. I'm assuming. Yes? Just say yes. Yes, I am. I am. Yes, I am. Cyberpunk 2077, the best video game ever, has four new pictures! And here they are, one, two, three, four. Wow! Look at them all! Yeah, you've never seen video games like that, have you? Damn!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, in other news that only I and only I care about, uh, Nvidia announced a shitload of new video hardware, and I will contextualize this in a way that actually makes sense to people, so, uh, it's actually a pretty big deal.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So they, they basically announced video hardware that can do ray tracing in real time. What is ray tracing? Nobody asked. I'll tell you. Uh, Professor Lawrence is about to educate you guys.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm so glad someone's interested. So, computer graphics are weird. Uhm, it's essentially a bunch of cheats to mimic what life looks like, but you can't actually do that because computers aren't fast enough to render, like, physics and lighting in real time yet. Because light's complicated, man.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The way light works, uh, is light flows in a beam basically, a stream of photons. It bounces off an object and then hits your eyeball. And then your brain interprets that and makes an image in your mind.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Video games, or video in general, is a series of still pictures that in motion look like the illusion of movement.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, each one of those pictures in a video game's sense is made up of a bunch of tiny little dots called pixels.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Now, the way video games are usually rendered is there's a bunch of 3D objects that are described by math in an arbitrary plane of nothing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because like, a foot means nothing in digital space. It can be any size you want. So, if there's a weird cube just floating, it's described by the vertices that compose it, and that creates shape.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But to turn it into a series of dots, you have to do something called rasterization.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Which essentially is, you know when you're looking through a window and there's like a screen there and there's a bunch of little, uh, little blocks essentially? Imagine that you took that and threw it over anything.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then you just looked in all those little squares and said, okay, that one's black, that one's yellow.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You basically turn it into a mosaic of varying sizes. And that's how you get different resolutions of an image. Uh, so computer graphics typically, it's a bunch of objects.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Described by 3D math with textures layered on top of them and then other effects layered on top of that. Reflections and normal maps and stuff that doesn't really matter. And that's how you get a 3D rendered scene.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Ray tracing is different. Ray tracing is kind of like how light actually works, but in reverse. So, in a ray traced image, when light normally comes from a source, bounces off an object and goes into your eyeball,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A ray traced picture will figure out how to light things in reverse by shooting a laser out, bouncing it off an object and seeing if it can find a light source.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If it can, then that object is illuminated, or that one pixel is illuminated.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That ray will then bounce again to see if it can find something else.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So Nvidia has announced hardware that can do ray tracing in real time, and that's been, like, a weird Moby Dick for computer graphics for decades. Uhm, if you notice, there are like some, there are, oh yea, it's called RTX by the way, it's their in hardware ray tracing engine.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh oh. If you look at old movies that were like breakthroughs for CG, there's some things that still were not done because ray tracing is a problem. Like The Abyss and Terminator 2. So if you look at Terminator 2, it still looks awesome.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But if you're a dork, there are certain things that don't happen. Which is, even when he's all computer chrome man, you still don't see the reflection of his arm and his body.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because they couldn't figure out how to make the light bounce back and forth and create a realistic reflection.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, but to do, to do that amount of, it's like how many times the ray bounces around the scene.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And if they cut it off at one bounce, or two bounces, that's when you get something that looks like Terminator 2. So pretty rad. But this does, I think, three or four?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Which is when you can start to get stuff like light bouncing around corners, reflecting in grounds, uh, before they did screen-based reflections, which is, if you're looking at a light source, then as long as it's being rendered, you just flip it and then show it reflected in something else. But if you're not looking at the light source, it's not being drawn.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So the computer can't draw it in nowhere and then bounce it off something that does exist and have it hit the screen or your eyes. Now they can.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, the weird thing is, like with old rendering tech, is you couldn't have something infinitely far away, because you can't do any math with that. Infinity can't be divided by or anything like that, or it just goes to zero.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, to have universal light wasn't really a thing. It couldn't cast shadows. It was just something that painted the entire scene of color. And then you would fake shadows by just throwing black things under stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, so yeaah, it's, the thing that gets me, now that this stuff is real time,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So this, this is game tech, and game tech pushes rendering real hard.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I wonder how long it's going to take until we can do stuff like deepfakes live, like on the spot. They even showed earlier in this demo that they were able to, through AI, which is another tech they announced, uhm, they can


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Basically uh, turn a cartoon into real life.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So they had this animation of someone driving down a street, and then they just mapped


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Real life stuff onto that animation, and it looked like real life driving.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, so, this stuff is gonna come up pretty soon, I think in the next ten years, with like Russian hacking and shit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] As much as, as much as you have like Rudy Giuliani's truth isn't truth stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Every time you see something on a screen, you're gonna have to give yourself a little logic check.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, the AI stuff they announced is pretty wild too. Essentially, uh, it's like vector-based prediction. So, uh, if you feed an AI tons and tons of imagery, it can start to understand what typically happens in a next frame.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Portions of the next frame that's going to happen in a game and throw them up for free.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Which means essentially you get to punch up the resolution because an AI is guessing what most of the frame is going to be. And if it's a little bit off, that's not a big deal because it's only portions of a frame that then get corrected later.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It happens a lot in actually networking too if you're playing an online video game. I don't know if you've ever had that thing where you like run around a corner.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And you shoot someone and they shoot you and then you die and then you see their version where you didn't shoot at all. It's because you were shooting on your side, they were shooting on theirs. Somewhere in the middle the network figured out that they won and you didn't. And then it had to roll it back and actually fix it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So what the server decided was the actual series of events wasn't what you saw because there's a little fuzz there with network latency. I feel like that's going to be the case with this too.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think he said like it's, somebody put, put good odds down on us all living in a simulation.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, it may just be the state of our reality. So like, this is some Greek philosophy shit, but there is the idea that you can never know truth. It's always under the lens of your perception and your eyeballs and whatever weird mess your brain is interpreting. Some people that are colorblind will never know what a color is like. Why would red exist if you can't see it?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We, we talk to each other and decide, yes, red is red. So it's still...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Red is just a light bouncing off of a particular surface that has a wavelength hitting our eyeballs.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So we, as a human race and as a culture, come up with concepts that we all agree are true, and then that is what truth is. Right. It's uh, it's consensus, it's not reality.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So in that way, our minds and our perceptions are already a self-imposed simulation that you have a great deal of control over. Also true.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, and the computers that are fast enough to simulate humans are already in our heads.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You just have to, for me, cause it did stress me out a lot.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] At a certain point to be a happy functioning adult, you do have to sort of abandon questions that have no presentable solution.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Kind of ran myself ragged thinking about like weird philosophical bullshit, like we're all just programmed to chase happiness, uh, in one way or another and everyone defines that differently. So how does life have meaning? Cause meaning is assumed through a lot of different sources and that can be


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know, you can just throw all that out and be like, well I'll just live happy in the moment, day to day.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, it's, it's not even dumb. I think, I think, I think a lot of people that, when I was an edgy teenager, I dismiss as dumb, went through that whole thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And settled on the fact that it's okay to just enjoy simple things in life and have good relationships and be happy. And that's something that I casually dismissed as ignorant.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Earlier in life, now I actually embrace as like, the more, uh... Could even be smarter. Yeah, actually. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The older I get, the more I'm like, well my parents actually had some stuff figured out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, just to roll back to video games, there was totally a demo that they showed, speaking of Liquid Terminator Man. They did like a Star Wars demo with Phasma. The whole point being that...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's like reflecting four or five times in this one scene. Like you can see them in her armor, you can see the gun in her armor.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And that's the sort of thing that's infinitely complicated with old rendering technology, because you have to compute one at a time. But if you just shoot a laser out for each pixel and bounce it around, and then see how individual pixels are lit, once you're able to do that, you can get away with cool shit, cool shit like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, speaking of, we're- oh, hit the mindfreak button real quick. We just mindfreaked everybody. Yes. It's the hips, how does he do that?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, he's been in contact with Matt. He's asking to collaborate. And I'm like, I have no idea what that's gonna look like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, Tyler, let me explain this to you real quick. Please. Uh, so Hard Netting is a weekly tournament between people who are using the internet real hard. And that can mean anything. The goal is to basically explore and celebrate the quirks of the human race as evidenced by the internet.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, yeaah, the current champ, uh, had one last week is a bassist by the name of, uh, H.J. Freaks.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Who is also into like stockings and cute dresses and stuff. But he's a really good bassist. He slaps a mean bass.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So that's H.J. Freaks, he's a reigning champion, but going up against, uh, this gentleman, the, it's musical themed, the one man industrial band.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean industrial is kind of like the cooler metal.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Fuck yeaah. That's some real music right there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, so, One Man Industrial Doom Metal Band.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Or, uh, H.J. Freaks, the guy who fucking slams out tasty licks wearing silk kimonos.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, living his dream. Got a tale of two men living their dreams out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Whatever you feel like man, whatever your emotion in the ocean is.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, let's start with Dan. Who do you think is netting harder, HG Freaks or Tristan Shone?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Fair enough. I would never question the vote of an expert panelist. Uh, we'll go to Wilana. Who are you voting for?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright Tyler, just for record keeping, cause uh, HG already won, but.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wait, is that an album or is that- So his name is Altered Punisher? That's the name of the act. Okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Industrial bands never die. It's like that in old punk bands, they'll just stay around forever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, yeah, it's a lot of like, feeding raw sounds into like, waterfall synthesizers that produce a new analog sound. Uh, you know, I'm not an expert in the field or in that genre either, but having seen a lot of those shows, it is a lot of


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There was, I remember reading a review of an Iman Tobin album, which doesn't mean anything to anybody, but it was something like, he's a sonic pioneer, and I was like, yea I guess, he's, I've never heard clangs like this before. That's kind of what it amounts to.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, well, HG Freaks, uh, Reign Supreme for another week, uh, Author and Punisher.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Better luck next time. But yeah, if you're too in San Diego, I'll pop down and see your show. Well, if he's in San Diego, he's gonna play here. Yeah, probably. Maybe.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, speaking of wonderful dresses, uh, one more sponsor of this podcast is Stitch Fix. Uh, so if you're not familiar with Stitch Fix essentially, it's a fashion buy mail service because we're on the internet and everything's buy mail. Why go outside? Why go to a store? We're over that. Uh, so Stitch Fix is a pretty cool service essentially. When you sign up, you'll fill out this little questionnaire.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Reminds me a lot of quizzes that I used to take in, like, my sister's teen magazines. Those are fun. I don't know why. It's like, what boy would you like to date? I'm like, oh, I got one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, essentially it was like that. They would, they, uh, they make you answer some basic questions about your style, the fits you have, the size of your body. And then you take, uh, it'll basically show you this, like, grid of shirts, and it's like, what do you like? What patterns do you like? What colors do you like? So you tick off a bunch of stuff, it creates kind of a fashion profile for you. And then a stylist will pick clothes that match that, and mail them to you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You get to try them on, uh, what you like you keep, what you don't like you send back.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The styling fee is $20, but that also applies to anything you keep.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, if you try on things you don't like any of it, you send it back, they'll charge you 20 bucks for the, for the shipping and for the styling, but if you keep anything that applies as credit towards the items you keep, and then, uh, you can either order them one at a time, maybe once a season if you want to slowly freshen up your wardrobe, or you can, uh, make it scheduled, so you can get one every month, uh, however, however often you like. Uhm, honestly for me, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A lot of my money still goes to expensive graphics cards, so I don't do it too too often, but I do do it every so often just to kind of get me out of a rut. You know, it's easy as a nerd to get into a black graphic tea sort of routine. Uh, I'm trying to break out of that, so get some nice button ups in your world. I get some nice, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Get some nice patterns. They'll make you feel nice. And yea, explore. There's a lot of times I told myself that I'd never be like fashion forward because it was just out of my wheelhouse. Given that I spent a lot of time reading about AI stuff but, kinda like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like a lot of it, hey, you can be nerdy and fashionable at the same time, and let Stitch Fix help you do that. Uh, also, if you keep all five items in your box, uh, you get 25% off the whole thing. Uh, you can unlock that by going to stitchfix.com slash dudesuit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Once more, that's StitchFix.com slash Dude Soup.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So thank you Stitch Fix. Uh, I've really enjoyed, man, nothing makes you feel pampered. Like having somebody pick clothes out for you and then come in like a nice little gift box and then you can just wave them away. No! I don't want those shorts. And if you want, you can fill out a little survey after leaving more detailed notes. All goes into your file so your stylist will kind of get a running tally on what you like and don't like. StitchFix.com slash Dude Soup. Thank you Stitch Fix. And hey, thanks everybody.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Attending this podcast, it's wonderful to hear from you all.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I wouldn't call it PTSD, but there were some times in like the two days after where like, I'd be riding in Stephanie's car, and she'd hit the brakes quick, or we'd be coming up on a car quickly, and I'd be like, uhuh. Like, we'd just kinda...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause there is an image frozen in my mind of like looking up and just seeing the car stopped in front of me. And there's that moment where you're just like, well, that's it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is what's gonna happen now. And it's, like, there was no time to really be scared, but that one still frame is kind of frozen in my mind of looking directly at the bumper that I'm about to hit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So yeaah, uh, yeaah. I'm gonna be a little cautious. A lot more cautious.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But it is, like, I'm gonna buy better gear. Uhm, I don't know that any gear would have made me safer than I already was. A car. Yeah, a full car is the one thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've been thinking a lot about Fury Road lately. That's a good film. How fucking amazing it is. Why is Tom Hardy so good at everything he does?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is me off! Yeah, he really is. Well, we'll see about Venom.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Even the live action parts of Venom, I'm already like, I love Eddie Brock. Venom, I could do without. I just want this to be a movie about Eddie Brock.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I like it when he licks the guy. That's my favorite part. Oh, I didn't even think about that. Tom Hardy tongue fan art? That's gonna be making rounds. I gotta set some Google alerts.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] One of my favorite things about, like, political Twitter is seeing two people accusing each other of bots and Turing testing each other.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Really? Yeah, when you launched it the first time, I listened to a few episodes and I'm not a huge sports guy, but it was still entertaining. Oh, thank you. Cause there's, uh, you guys discuss sports in a very normal way, which is, cause I grew up in Texas, it was a cult.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, uh, Dan, Oana, thank you guys for joining. Of course. And viewers slash listener, thank you for joining us on this week's Dude Stoop. We hope to see you next week. Uh, if you enjoyed this episode, leave a comment, leave a rating, recommend it to a friend, or do nothing. Totally up to you. I'm not a bot. You got free will still.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Are you not sure anymore? Well hopefully you exercise that free will and join us again next week. Until then, we'll see you. And if you're watching live, stay tuned for the post show that's coming right up. Bye everybody. Bye bye. Jacob, I'm curious.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Doesn't this, doesn't this get, I mean like, my question to all you guys, doesn't this get repetitive?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm not saying you're wrong, it's more for me the more that I watch it and do it, like with Arkham City or whatever. I thought it was cool, but also...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's never been like bad at things. He's never been like a bad guy that was going to be like, I made a bad decision. It's usually like, well he got hurt, so he has to figure out how to fight through getting hurt.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right, but he's always, he's always had a good moral compass, I guess. I guess you could say.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is definitely an improvement, I think, over pretty much any other Spider-Man game. I mean, like, from what I've seen. It's not bad by any means. I don't think it's perfect, but I think it's, hopefully it will be fun to play for more than three hours.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The Apple founder was saying that the average resolution on a PS4 Pro is like 1540p or something like that, which is, you know, obviously well above 1080p. And they said 30 frames a second solid, the entire way through, no problem.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What I'm saying though is like when you've, like for example if this game sells well and it's a big hit, which it probably will be, then they're not going to go, alright well now give us Iron Fist or whatever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause I don't know, I have no idea. I just assumed he knew danger was close.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because to me, Spider-Sense says that if a bird's gonna shit on you, you move out of the way as the shit's falling down. Because you don't want to get hit with it, regardless of danger.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was gonna say, that's GTA V syndrome is what that is. Well, I guess, kind of.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I don't mean DLC, I mean the fact that the base of the game is so good that you can pile a bunch of other things on top of it and be like, yeah, I'll keep playing it. Breath of the Wild. Breath of the Wild.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, well, I mean, I watched the Digital Foundry, uh, video, and like I said, that should end Pedalgate, I think, once and for all. It really should, because it was one of those things where the more that they described it, and I guess if you buy into their theories, which the theories are well founded,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You find out it's just an artistic decision. That's all it was. It was like basically like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They were, they were saying, no, they just decided to change the lighting, but they changed the textures. They moved things around, they changed the reflections in the water, on the buildings, and things like that. They, they changed those cube maps for the video game, but it was never for performance sake.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was only because they were like, oh, well this looks a little better. Uhm, and again, that video does a fantastic job of describing that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And while I think Pedalgate was founded in the sense that you could look at two side by side screenshots and be like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay yeaah, I guess the E3 demo looks better here in this one section.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The rest of that E3 demo in the actual video game.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Digital founder goes through and says, this part looks better, there's more traffic here, uh, there's a better motion blur here.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Overall, the video game right now in release looks better than the E3 demo.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You do that a lot in this game where like you'll shoot, you'll shoot up and it'll just see a straight up and it'll attach to something.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] From the comic book boom that you remember, that's why we're all so excited about Spider-Man, because we read those comics, we know about Spider-Man, it was a big deal for us. But then, I haven't gone back and read those comics, I don't know if they're good or not. I mean, I- Omar, I need music right now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I know that it is a serious problem that people deal with, but also it's really hard to look into it and be like, I can't believe this is like a serious thing. It really is. I know that it is.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In the case that guy is not hired, we pay, uh, we pay $20,000 a year.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't want to vote for Frog because it's got so many views and it's already kind of mainstream, but it's so good. Like I can't not vote for this. It's so good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That was the circle. That was the trailer.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Piko, Piko, Piko! Wait, is it locked? Oh. This is part two? He's gotta do it spooks. Yeah, he's good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, leave Pico out of this. Look at all, look at all the Picos. Oh, here you go, lighter. Oaks and pills. Oh, what was that noise? No, I didn't mean that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Nothing. These drawers are pointless. I wish you'd use that camera.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So yeah, uh, welcome to Dude Soup. I'm joined by three experts in the relative fields. Uh, marine biology expert, uh, Jacob Fullerton. Also, formerly youngest finance expert. Oh, that's right. Wait, did I steal that part? I've been usurped. I've been usurped. That's right. Youth expert, Alana Pierce.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then, uh, the expert on youth experts, Bruce Green. That's gross. That doesn't sound right at all. Unpack that one in your spare time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Starting on August 17th only on Netflix. Uh, you can get 15% off your movement order today by going to movement.com slash dudesoup.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And you can check out this week's Blue Apron menu and get your first three meals for free at BlueApron.com slash soup.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, basically dressing. With blueprint stuff and it's something really basic like red wine vinaigrette and shallots and stuff like that. Dice it all up. Uhm, sometimes I'll keep a card like that if there's a part that I want to use in something else.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh it didn't for me, I knew it, I knew immediately. Statistics are usually for six months you get into something and I was just on the tail end of that. I was actually patting myself on the back a few days ago for being accident free. That was the problem. Now I can't even reach my back.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I was wearing all the right gear, made it through with a separated shoulder. That's not bad. Yeah. It's a cartilage between a couple of bones is torn, but it'll heal on its own.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] All the bones are nice and safe, so. We don't care about how safe you are, how does it happen? It's the action. Right, the action. So, uh, I was going home on Thursday, last Thursday, and there was a wreck on the 405 going south, two lanes were closed, people are already, it was already Mad Max territory because people do whatever the fuck they want on California highways if anything goes wrong.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, so I was lane splitting, uhm, which is already dangerous, but I was, I was in a heightened state of awareness, kinda like cat, you know?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, my hackles were raised. Uh, so yeah, lane splitting. But doing slowly, because I was like, man, people are already going to be jumping back and forth, which they were. Uh, I could see, you know, down the road people were jumping back and forth across the WL, which you're not supposed to do, but whatever, it's California. So, uh, I'm cruising along.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Somebody does it right in front of me, which I was kind of expecting to happen. So I slam on the brakes, swerve, they cut to the left, so I go to the right to kind of dodge them. And I'm looking down to make sure I don't like graze their car or anything like that. And when I look up, I just see the back of a car is completely stopped.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So that person was probably swerving to get out of the way of a parked car, or just jumping over because they didn't want to slow down. Thanks dude. Uh, so yeaah, I just, uh, hit the back of that car.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, don't remember specifically how it went down. I do remember like going over the handlebars, hit the road with this shoulder.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, Noah Ray says length splitting was made illegal last year. Hey, do a Google search. We're in the state of California, it's not illegal here.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, some people move out of the way, some people move into the way. It's an interesting dynamic for sure. But yeah, some people move out of the way, people try to make it safe. Except for the people that cut across without signaling or warning or anything. So yeah, I get up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's one of those situations where no one else is there. Maybe I should have just left it? I don't know. Oh, you still have to ride home. Sorta. Yea, I could have had it towed, but I've also been absolutely fucked by tow companies.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then they'll charge you like 90-100 dollars a night for storage?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, so if you don't get it out of there right away, and they don't tell you any of this because you've just been in a car wreck, so they just give you a piece of paper to sign and then, so yeah, I didn't want to have to deal with that again.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Anyway, uh, get, get it over to the shoulder. The shoulder does, er, the shoulder of the road. My shoulder does something pretty funky when I try to pick my bike up because that shit's heavy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But we get it over just fine. Uh, exchange information. Uhm, the, the poor lady that I ran into was, was super, uh, what's the word, reasonable? Uh, she was like, yeah, I saw like I cut you off, and I saw you just like buzz into my car.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, but she said her, her child was fine. And then she looked at the bumper and there were like two scrapes on it. So she was like, well I guess, do you have a shop you want me to take it to?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I have no clue. So she heads on her way, the guys who stop traffic are gone, and then I'm just sitting there on the side of like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Rush hour traffic, shoulders starting to hurt really bad. But the bike still rides.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I do ride at home, uhm, as carefully and quietly as I can, but this is also like, things are getting real bad on the freeway for one. Yea, it's really busy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then to get me out of it, and then it was gonna be like hours until I could get to a doctor. I was like, I don't wanna, I can't call an ambulance either because it doesn't...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So yeah, I'm just like, well, shit, cool. So I'm riding back, you know, through rush hour traffic. And it's weird how that stuff really changes your perspective. Yeah. Everyone else is just like hungry or needs to use the bathroom. And I'm like, well, I kind of want to throw up right now. Yeah. My arm doesn't quite work perfectly. So split screen, yeah, you're right. This is disclosing potential lawsuit things.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Maybe, I don't know. Yeaah, I'm not, I am in the state of California and I thought a lot about that. I am just gonna throw it out there for whatever, whatever my perspective was and man, if...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Anyway, uh, so yeaah, I get the bike home, and then I'm like, well, time to go to Urgent Care, because I'm pretty familiar with that. So I call up a ride share, go to the nearest Urgent Care.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I get there, it's a 24 hour urgent care. That's good. But then I bang on the door and the guy like buzzes me and he's like, you care for urgent care? I was like, yea. He's like, well, our urgent care hours are over.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But then I was like, okay, well, and then he's like, what's wrong? I was like, well, I think my shoulder might be dislocated. And he said, oh, they don't do that at urgent care. Uh, ER.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So then I'm like on the side of the road next to a, next to a Chipotle.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've never been to an emergency room before. I didn't know how to find one. So I opened up Google Maps and punched in emergency room, which doesn't bring up emergency rooms.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, bodegas and stuff. So I had to call, I had to call a place that was in like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Torrance and ask them where the hospital was near me?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I called the police non-emergency number and walked through their, like, robocall list. You can do that. Cause there wasn't a human, and I was just, my arm was starving, I was like, please just tell me where to go get this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, anyway, eventually figured it out. Another urgent care told me where a hospital was that I could go to. So I went there and met a very interesting cast of characters, because boy, the ER has got some people in it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, oh yeah, so I get to the ER, they hand me my check-in paperwork. I sit down, and start filling it out, and then a girl sits next to me on the phone, and the very first thing she says is, yeah, I think I just had a miscarriage.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like basically in that tone too. So I'm trying not to react because, well she didn't seem too bothered by it, but I was just, okay let's keep filling this out. And then like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Except for me. Uh oh. Uhm, that's weird. That is weird. Yeah. Elucidating? Patient zero.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There was a gentleman in that room that everyone was trying desperately to not sit near.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But yea, nobody wanted to be next to him, and sometimes you'd get up and start walking somewhere and an orderly would come back and very clearly...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Shit, maybe, I'm sorry guys, I just, I just gave you all Stan disease. Did he touch that Austin bat?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I would just, I guess in case people don't know, apparently there was a cute little bat that was hanging out during the day near RTX and everyone thought it was the cutest thing except a bat out during the day didn't really trigger anyone's like warning system. Turns out it had rabies.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So if you pet the bat, go get checked for rabies or have a shot.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh yeaah, so then they invite me back to sit in another chair.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, and while I'm sitting back there, some dude who's like wearing board shorts and nothing else, like Cool California Bro, he just like gets up and walks out of a room and walks out the exit, but he's like dragging


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cables and cords and stuff? Yeah, well that's weird, but I'm not a doctor.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then like an orderly walks out of the hallway and looks around and like is like, where did he go? And I pop up and said, he left out that way.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then dude is like super confused, but he's like, well, okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then a second later they're ushering him back in, because apparently he just got up and like, pulled his IV thing out, and just decided to walk out. They were like, you're dripping blood, you can't be doing this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then it was weird because he started off calm. He was basically like, listen, I'm very anxious. I have claustrophobia. I just needed to get out. And everyone who worked at the hospital was just like super chill about it. They were like, yeah, no problem. You just, you know, you gotta let us know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And like, we have some food coming for you if you feel bad. And then like, he got more and more panicked as everyone else was being more and more calm. Which was really odd. Because then it started escalating. This sounds like a Twilight Zone episode. A little bit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, he was going off about how now he had asthma and he just needs some air and why are you guys keeping me here? And then everybody kept saying, we're not. We have a sandwich coming.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And if you want, you can stay for the sandwich, or you can go, and then he'd just be like, no I can't stay in here anymore! It was re- very strange, I guess maybe he was going up on something while they were trying to calm him down. Probably.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So yeaah, there was that guy who like just kept screaming at people in the hallway.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, they, uh, then they, they, so there's two beds of room, uhm, I sit down for a while, and then they, they like usher another dude in, he gets down onto a bed, he doesn't, you know, he doesn't look good. He's shambling, head down. No one looks good in the ER, basically.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, and then I hear them like exchanging notes like they were relating to the doctor and they're like, yeah, we found him in a bush.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Apparently, he then came to and described his symptoms. He's like, yeah, just crazy vomiting, diarrhea, nausea, all of that. And he's like, this is normal, I get this for 32 hours, I'm puking and shitting, and then it's just over.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I guess he was in the middle of one of his spells where he just vomits and shits everywhere.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He kept, uh, getting up and just kind of wandering out and then he'd be ushered back to the bed and then say, please stay here, we're bringing you, like, water, please stay here. And he'd get up and wander away again.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, that was pretty easy. Uh, so they take their x-rays, they're like, well you have no broken bones, you just have a torn cartilage, that'll repair itself. You just have to ice it, keep, keep weight off of it, we'll give you a sling, you're all good to go. I was like, woo, I can tell, like Stephanie was...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, sorry. Yeah, she cares a great deal for me and also is prone to worry. So those two things intersecting is never a good thing. Uhm, and I didn't want to...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know, maybe you guys can help me with this. When you know somebody's going to worry but you know it's not a big deal, or rather you're pretty sure it's not a big deal,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I don't either. Cause then you're kind of making decisions for someone else about how to, yeah, I don't know, I worry, I have started to worry about that because I care for her and I don't want her to worry.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, but you would probably want to wait to tell them until you were checked out and the doctor said you're totally fine. You can go back and say...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, oh yeah, so they basically do the x-ray, they tell me I'm clear. They write me some prescriptions for some, like, this is something I've always been confused for. Why do they write you a prescription for kind of stronger ibuprofen? I can just take three of them. That's so weird, I don't know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh nice. How could you concentrate on anything work related? Huh. Well.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, oh yeaah, so while I'm out in the hallway, got my x-rays done, basically gave me a clean bill of health, we'll clean-ish. They're trying to find my chart, which has disappeared. And uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That all gets sidetracked because the guy who was sitting next to me apparently wandered out into the hallway and collapsed somewhere. Uhm, so there-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So they all rush to find him, they bring him back in in like a wheelchair, and boy, he had an incident. He had a poo incident. Oh no. Somewhere. Yeah, pretty rough.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But yeaah, in the middle of all that, uhm, basically the doctor


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Basically everyone's like, wow, you're very pleasant. And I'm like, well, I have the luxury of being, you know, I'm not shitting my brains out right now. Uh, I don't know, I've always...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know how, I mean, there's been a lot of stuff about that, about people that work jobs like that and ERs and stuff like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, remotely don't get, or not even remotely get paid enough, but how to even deal with...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just having to deal with people who are having their worst day all the time. True. That's why I always try to be, I don't know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know, in this case, it's hard for me to imagine a series of events that could have prevented what happened from happening.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The lessons I learned, yes, are, uh, on a motorcycle, having one backup plan isn't enough. So when I was doing motorcycle safety training, they said, you know, you have to have an escape, no matter what. Always have an escape. And I did. I had a little pocket next to me that I was going to dive into if something weird happened.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But that wasn't enough. You need two. You need a fallback if that one doesn't work out and be ready to use it right away. So it's not thinking one step ahead, it's thinking two.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, which, yeaah, is what I'm gonna do. Second lesson is, uh, I need, and Chad, one of the guys who does a lot of biking in the office, has told me repeatedly, uh, I need a better motorcycle jacket.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it makes them really bulky and hot, but... Totally worth it. Yes, uh, absolutely worth it. I know he recounts multiple times tales of people who...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just a minor accident, you know, same old thing. They go down and their ankle is just evaporated.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then yeah, it's just 10 pins in your foot forever. It hurts every time the weather changes. That's just the rest of your life. And he's done a very good job of convincing me that I need to get gear.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I can afford a car. I can barely afford a bike, dude.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But no, they were all, you know, everyone's so tuned into their own problems. They don't really look around much.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, but, so my question to all of you guys, uh, as a result of this, this incident, uhm, in your life, when did some, when did some tragedy befall you that you fundamentally believe could not have been avoided?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Aside from like, just rewriting the last months of your life. And I'll leave you on that, you guys can ruminate on that, because I've got a bit of an ad read.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This podcast is sponsored by Disenchantment, which is a show created by Matt Groening.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, Creator of the Simpsons and Futurama, uh, Disenchantment is a show coming to Netflix, uh, if you're watching this on YouTube, tomorrow, uh, this coming Friday.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, it's placed in a medieval fantasy world. It has an, it is an ensemble comedy featuring three main characters. Princess Bean, uh, Elfo and Lucy, who meet, form an unlikely trio, and go on adventures together. Uh, I'm really excited about this. A lot of people have fond memories of future ramen shows like this. This was actually done by, uh, being done by the same animation studio or rough draft.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, the people who did Futurama are also working on this, and then SYNC the creator.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Also features the voice talents of Abby Jacobson as Princess Bean, she's from Broad City, uh, Eric Ondra will be doing Lucy, uh, Nat Faxon as Elfo, and then some other luminaires such as John DiMaggio, you know, has been done voice work for years and years, Billy West, uh, Noel Fielding and, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Matt Berry caught my eye too. That's a good cast. Yeaah. That's a really good cast. A lot of good names in there. Uh, I'm really excited to watch it. Cause, you know, Futuron was great, Simpsons was great.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, and anyway, watch Disenchantment, if you're watching on YouTube. On Thursday, it starts tomorrow, August 17th. So, uh, check it out. I'm excited to watch it. Can't wait. I hope the whole thing...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Ah, okay. Yeah, I only saw two of the movies too. They were good. That's, uh, making movies out of animated series is always such a weird... Yeah. Because it's just the same thing. Basically.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, okay, anyway, uhm, Jacob, I'm curious. You don't have to have a tale of woe, but I'd like to hear it if you do.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I actually don't know of anyone, uh, that can go get it. Aside from me. I know, usually that'd be me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That would be me and I'm here. I can go get it, I'll just unplug. I think he's going. Yeah?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Print out as a DeviantArt post. Ah, it's Sega Dreamcast magazine.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh yeaah, so I have something for Bruce to read. A tale of, another tale of woe from the internet about loss, but first I guess we can, uh, ugh, god.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The irony is it was never live in the first place. Ha ha ha ha. Nailed it. Man. Okay, so, Alana, spent a lot of time in IGN before that. Actually, let's hear your credentials here. What has been your path through games journalism?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, my experience is largely similar. Lot of volunteer stuff to start. Then like rev share stuff for just like pennies per story. Then starting flat rate kind of thing. Moving up into uh, companies that are just farming out content. Um, specifically I guess the break was at Machinima. There was a wave where


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] People who ran Metacritic, and they just threw out, like, they had like 10 reviews, and they were like, hey, we're machinima, what's it gonna take for us to get on Metacritic?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, the thing is though, I feel like you and I have spent a lot of time around games writers, or people who call themselves games writers, and there's a whole lot of stuff in that scene that's kind of busted that


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's not a whole lot of reason to talk about on a common basis, but it's particularly topical because of what happened last week.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Basically got caught plagiarizing a wholesale. He, he claims that it's not and I think it, that's kind of the mark of...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, so yeaah, I could read it as, he genuinely doesn't know what plagiarism is.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, anyway, so the timeline is there's a YouTuber boomstick, uh, alleges plagiarism from his review. Uh, IGN fired him, or fired Musen, removes the review, issues a statement about it. Uhm, then, on Saturday.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was very quick. Then, uh, Musen smells, I'm gonna apply a lot here, he smells blood in the water, sees his springboard, publishes a kind of non-apology, he, it's a lot of walk back kind of stuff, he's like, it's been erased already, it lived for about four hours and he took it down.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And apologize. I think, on that topic specifically, I think he was just following the game plan. Like, that's what you do. Everybody issues a sort of self-promoting apology video, so he was just doing it. Kind of in the way that, if you want to get into games media, you become a writer. And it seemed like he was just following that template too.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know, it's funny too because, so there's a quote from the apology video that he issued said, quote,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This stays the same for whatever, excuse me, let me start over.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A lot of people do. I uh, from my like volunteer, even into paid writing days, that's how a lot of them work, because they're not writers. And they were never taught to be writers.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, a lot of the people that I worked with, you know, crawling through the ranks of volunteer websites and stuff, none of them are writers either. Nor do they want to be. That was incidental.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They just wanted some kind of work in games media. And writing seems like it has the lowest barrier to entry. It kind of does. You have a keyboard and any kind of text editing. You can be a games reviewer.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Vocabulary? And you can, oh god, game reviewers smack this stuff because they read each other's stuff so much. He said formulating instead of forming.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It reminds me of like, this was such a hot minute, but there was like a moment, I think it was like 2013, where everyone suddenly learned what draconian meant. Everyone was cramming it in everything, because everyone had group things. It's just so weird.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, that doesn't make it not plagiarism. That's where it gets weird. Like, you were still hired to do a job. And just because...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] On top of that, you can't even really afford a staff of quality trained writers to crank out the volume of material the websites often need. That's totally the biggest thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think very rightly, frequently upset at the lack of paying work for what they do.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it's gonna be a pretty small group of people that are qualified enough to do that and get paid to do that. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, so I put together a list of grievances that I've largely gone through already. One of the, uh, oh yeah, a couple of other bullet points I never got to. That writers that are hired rarely have the bank of knowledge to talk about games credibly. Most people that play games play what they like, which is fine. I think if you graduate to another level of appreciating it, you'll play games you don't like just because you want to understand them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Exactly. Uh, I don't think a lot of writers or reviewers do that, go, like, willingly go through that education of being like, I'm gonna play this entire series all the way back to the 80s or whatever. No, that would be really uncommon.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then there was the other aspect of like, a lot of game reviewers will read a lot of game reviews and then write towards that rather than developing their own style because that requires a little bit of courage and artistic direction. It's way easier to just copy and paste that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It is funny, I always remember being a kid and wondering where like games culture would go, uhm, because there wasn't much of one, it was just me and whatever kids at school I could find to talk to about it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I always wondered, will it get to the point where like, there was like a cool crowd who play like indie video games and look down on people who play popular games? Will there be like, nose in the, yea, like nose in the air writers who look down on popular games? Yea, it's exactly the same. We got there, everyone.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cool, uh, well this podcast is all sponsored by movement, it's time for journalism or something. Uh, movement?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It claims that they have not only introduced tons of new watch collections for both men and women, but they've expanded to sunglasses and fashion-forward bracelets. Loey, what do you need? Uh, here they are. Wait. I got it. Ha ha.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I wear my, uh, watch and be a cool beach boy with your watch and your sunglasses. Wow. Cool.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Point being between this watch and these sunglasses that movement actually updates their lines pretty often.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In the past when they'd advertise, I'd go through, pick out, pick out some stuff, order it up, feel like I was set. No, they proved me wrong. Around every, I want to say every four months or so, they have like new lines up. So, if you looked in the past and maybe didn't find a watch you liked or a pair of sunglasses you liked or a bracelet that you liked,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I should check it out again, uhm, cause they are updating all the time. They started just $95 for a nice watch. It's a good gift or a good accent piece if you're trying to develop your, uh, your fashion game. And, uh, it's simple, which I'm all about. I don't need, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't need text messages on my, my wrists. No thank you. Talk to me in person. Find me. It's part of a game that I play.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, you can get 50% off your MVMT order today with free shipping and free returns if you happen to not enjoy your products. We're going to MVMT.com slash Dude Soup. Once more, that's 15% off free shipping and free returns at MVMT.com slash Dude Soup. That's MVMT.com slash Dude Soup. So thank you MVMT for the sponsorship and for the sweet sunglasses.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's always that, okay, so this is, this is gonna sound self-aggrandizing and it's not meant to be. But there's always that scene in every Superman movie where he realizes he has superpowers. Not Superman. Usually by just crushing some mundane object. You're wearing a sling.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What was that? Oh, yikes. That was weird. That was Steven Subtick. Steven Subtick, everybody. Forgot that we were broadcast.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, uh, yeah, we have nothing but sorrows today, Bruce. So here is someone. Image hosted by Angelfire.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Good. Uhm, which I think means that that image link is down.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But uh, take it away Bruce, this is, this is somebody, yes thank you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Somebody coming to, uh, intense conclusions about what has happened in their life and what might be happening now. It's also dated 2005.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm not sure who it's from. The title of this passage is overthrown. Sorry.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Anime just shows about cooking. This show is sponsored by Blue Apron. Here's your second question. Uh, Blue Apron sponsors this show. Uh, they don't sponsor our anime club yet. Blue Apron.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, but their mission is to make incredible home cooking accessible to everybody. I can attest, uh, since starting Glapron, uh, I've been cooking at home a lot more. It's been nice to get out of my crappy single dude thing of having a bag of Funyuns and vodka for dinner.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh my god. Food is better. They also push the universe towards getting a more sustainable food system, setting the highest standards for ingredients and building a community of home chefs. There is less food waste when you do Blue Apron.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Shopping as a single person is tough. I just learned that grocery stores have something called a bachelor loaf, which is a half loaf of bread, which is what I always wanted. Uhm, yeaah. It's, uh, they don't make a whole lot of serving, or a whole lot of food portions for the single person, especially the single person that's not trying to eat a lot. So I always had this trouble when I was single of buying a lot of food, making like, one or, like, basically meals for five days of the week and then it all started going bad. You wouldn't have that problem with Blue Apron.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, and also, since, uh, Blue Apron sponsors this podcast a lot, I'm going to introduce you guys to the next episode of Cooking with Lawrence, where I share with you all of the hard-wrought knowledge that I get by cooking with Blue Apron. Uh, this week is, so I'm getting a little saucy, getting a little spicy. Ooh, saucy, yea. And spicy. I, uh, I'm mixing up my salts.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Got different salts now. Got a little salt whale. It's cute. It's a little porcelain whale and you'd like have a little spoon and you'd get salt out of its mouth.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It is. It's larger grains of salt, like larger rock salt. Uh, I started with like just iodized powdered salt, went up into the flakes, and now I'm experimenting with even larger grains of salt. That's a textural delight. It is. Thank you, Jacob.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But, Jacob, one of the problems is, when you mix up your salt, the proportions are the same.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, my advice to you is, even if you're just beginning to season, taste your food often and go in small steps until you get a feel for how much you need. Because I accidentally came very close to over-salting a dish. Because I just put on a little sprinkle, thought I was being cautious, but whale salt has a kick to it. So I wasn't prepared for that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But yeaah, uhm, yeaah, just watch out for that. Watch your salt size. Good to know. You're welcome.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] She didn't actually say thank you. You're welcome, Bruce. But Blue Apron, thank you as well for teaching me these important lessons about salt. You can check out this week's Blue Apron menu and get your first three meals for free at blueapron.com slash soup, which I'm gonna say is probably the best vanity URL they possibly have.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, BlueEarpen.com slash soup. Get your first three meals for free and check out all the menus, uh, menus and recipes coming up. They have like a Top Chefs tie-in. They just finished a Bob Burgers tie-in, which is really cool. Ooh, a condom and salsa burger. Really?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Incomprehensible. Alright, uh, blueprint.com slash soup. Thank you, Blueprint. Alright, let's get into hard nettin'.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, that's why it's at the end. Gotta get that watch time. So, hot Pokemon trainer is the current sham.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, he does get jacked up by Pokemon a lot. Uh, and his, he used to just take photos, but now he's divided it into stories and acts. He's got white teeth.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, given that this is the current champion I wanted to get, get some research in. So, Arc One, I'm not gonna lie, it's a little all over the place. Not the most directed of narratives. But, uh, Arc One begins, uh, he meets up with Brock.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, uh, he and Brock hit the old trail there. They're ready to go. What is that?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, there's a rough fight with another trainer, someone else shows up, there's like a weird orb there. Wait, who's that big giant hand? Uh, that, sorry, that's- That's part of Lugia.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, that's a little bit of an aside, because the next picture is him getting lasered in the stomach.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, maybe. Yeah, okay, maybe this is him at current times, and here are all the happy memories that he has with us. Yeah, still unclear, but... Alright, so then they go to the beach, uh, a bit of an aside, if he gets about a squirtle for a little bit. I guess he was okay. I guess he was fine, actually.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He found him. Uh, so yea, some brief photos, like he's chillin' with his Bulbasaur. Alright, then he goes into his living room. Uh, there's Pokemon there. Does he have a fire sword?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, uh, so he battles Jessie, vanquishes her with what I believe is also a Ratchet and Clank gun.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They killed her. Knocked her out. Put her in laser binds.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Your precious Squirtle's long gone from here. Everything is going perfectly according to plan.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, says Jesse. So there's a plot to abduct Squirtle, and that's where we have to leave off in this round of Arden. So yea, that's the end of arc one. Oh my gosh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, that is going up against, this is actually a pretty, I won't say well known, but established.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So this is H.J. Freaks. Uhm, woah. H.J. Freaks. He's a fucking monster on the bass.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes, obviously. Yeah, censored. But I can do that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's a really good tagline. Sorry, Jake, if you were pointing out something.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, and then H.J. Freaks, the bassist phenom from Japan who wears very cute clothing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, Alana, who would you be running for? Woah, Splatoon! Fuck yeaah! Woah! Look at that kick he was doing!


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[Assistant] I mean, why is anything? Elemental sword, plasma gun. These are all things.


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[Assistant] Well, congratulations, hjfreaks. You've certainly freaked us with your hj.


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[Assistant] Uh, but speaking of doing things one of these days, sometimes podcasts have to end. Uh, but we'll have another one next week, so. Well, thank you guys for listening to this podcast, if you enjoyed it. I'd appreciate it if you recommended it to a friend. Leave a rating, leave a review. Or just go on with your day and have a good one. That's, uh, that's...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's thanks enough for me. And we'll catch you next week. Goodbye everybody. Oh, and if you're watching live, stay tuned for the post show. Holy shit, we got a lot of fan art to catch up on, so look forward to that. Bye everybody. Farewell.


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[Assistant] Eight hardest netters from, boy I shouldn't say it like that, uh, from the, uh, Man, everything kinda plugs back in. Hold on.


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[Assistant] And the good thing is, you guys can vote. Oh wow.


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[Assistant] Uh, we have sourced your comments. We found all your angriest comments and we're going to respond to them. It's not gonna be, I mean, maybe a flavor of comment show, but hopefully this will be a constructive conversation where we acknowledge some mistakes we've made. We tell you guys how we're going to acknowledge your, your, uh, feedback and going forward. It should be a better show, so welcome to a very contentious bowl of dude soup.


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[Assistant] I gotta, I gotta get views. Well yea, clickbait title, I gotta bang that drum right off the top.


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[Assistant] Yes, they do and don't. So one of the, we'll get into a minute. So this podcast has three sponsors, which is why it's going to be an hour and a half. Yeah, not quite yet. I got two more down here, so I can space it out. We got Blue Apron, Movement, and Casper are all sponsoring this podcast. You can check out this week's menu.


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[Assistant] And get your first three meals for free at blooperin.com slash sue. You can get 15% off your movement order today with free shipping and free returns by going to movement.com slash dude sue.


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[Assistant] And you can save 10% off your order with any mattress purchase at casper.com slash savings. Uh, terms and conditions apply and the special offer expires May 29th, 2018. So thank you Casper.


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[Assistant] Yeah, he's a smart guy. He's a smart ol' lesbian. And semen works.


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[Assistant] Uh, there was an unpopular opinions thread on the subreddit that turns out it's just an excuse for everybody who's slightly- On the Rooster Teeth subreddit. Yeah, on the Rooster Teeth subreddit, should be clear. Uh, which was just a dog pile of people hating on, uh, or, or as like, people just bagged up their grievances and this is when they piled them all out on the table.


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[Assistant] As usual, mixed with just blind negative criticism, there are nuggets of truth. So I kind of wanted to, uhm,


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[Assistant] It's meant to be, it's meant to be anonymous and us responding to people, whatever. Alright, so here's the first comment.


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[Assistant] Besides having better cameras and microphones, there isn't really anything you release that hasn't been made better with increased levels of production.


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[Assistant] Dude soup, Google trends and the new skits, none of them actually make the content better, considering how much more time and money and effort is put into them.


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[Assistant] It feels like way too much effort is being put into the polish to the point that what got people loving Funhaus in the first place is disappearing. You're taking the cherry on top and trying to make the whole damn cake out of it.


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[Assistant] So, uh, I think that speaks to a misunderstanding or maybe a miscommunication about what we intended to do when we changed our production at the beginning of 2018. To be clear, you guys haven't seen that yet.


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[Assistant] We said, we said, hey, we're going to do some high quality stuff. And that was the next thing that happened.


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[Assistant] That's not what we think of it. It's like a side shift basically. The time we would have spent doing Photoshop and animations goes into live. It's basically an even trade.


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[Assistant] Alright, uh, here's the next one. Uh, Hitman Contracts is getting stale. Uh, the Funhouse TV livestreams are great, but you guys should change the title of the stream when they go up. You guys are the only ones on YouTube Gaming that aren't just a Fortnite stream. And then, uh, First Memberships aren't selling because they're only marketed as a watch- a- watching a video slightly earlier. If I had known Full House and the-


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[Assistant] Oh yea, as far as the title goes, I have been trying to do that, but man, you'd be shocked how many little things there are to click when it comes to clicking that stream over. There's a title, there's a thumbnail, there's OBS, there's posting it on Twitter, there's posting it on YouTube.


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[Assistant] And then this last part is really interesting about first memberships and how they're marketed. Uh, you know, I would agree with him. Yeah, I would too. I think we haven't been doing a good job about them. We haven't been doing a good job of messaging the value of first mostly because I guess we don't know how to


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[Assistant] And we also don't know what works, really. Uh, cause we make content, we make first exclusive content as it's ordered by Rooster Teeth.


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[Assistant] And then we get mostly, up until now, mostly anecdotal feedback about what works and what doesn't. Nice. Some very sexy rule 34. Funhouse TV is rolling in the background by the way, which is, which is amusingly kind of self-aggrandizing that we have our own content. All of our achievements.