[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In order, like it would actually read certain things about like, where the lens was moving and when to, to like, read certain CD, serial keys off the disc. Wow. Yeah, yeah. It was, it was pretty hardcore copy, uh, DRM protection. And that's why people hated it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But now, apparently in Windows 10, I'm guessing the OS doesn't allow that level of access anymore. Uhm, because you know, OSes typically get more and more secure. I read the other side of the story.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's alright, so the Microsoft end user license agreement was updated with a very peculiar paragraph.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, people have willingly accepted this level of DRM and copyright protection into their lives, but it's from Valve, so they think it's okay. And now it's from Microsoft, and it's horrible. Uhm, but, you know, this is the brave new world. If you don't like it, install Linux.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's kind of where it goes to. And I've actually seen some articles popping around about there, and I think it's a totally valid response. I think Steam on Linux now has basically made that a little more viable as a gaming platform.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But anyway, one more time, go to tiny.cc. Buy your tickets today, so we can get rich. Or don't.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Moral of the story is, uhm, if you think the internet likes you, they probably hate you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think I watched old people, the last one I watched was old people playing, like reacting to Last of Us.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was like, wow, they got really far into that game without having any concept of a controller or how to play it. Must be a good game.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's, that's funny too, because uhm, yeaah, cause a lot of people start as YouTubers, right? And every single time a YouTuber


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That they clearly haven't consulted a PR person about, it just, it is always horrible. Cause in that original Fine Brothers video, they're like, you know what, we love supporting the little guy. And then it goes, we've grown from a small company like this, and then it shows a picture of their company trip to Italy. Like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, but yeaah, there's a disconnect, and this happens with, you know, most celebrities or whatever, they became a big company. My big thing about it is...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The moves that they were doing, I was like, oh, from a business perspective, this is really smart.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They should be having these conversations far behind closed doors. Like, not on YouTube posting it up on their channel and stuff, and I'm not saying what they were doing is right, I don't necessarily endorse what they were doing, but from a business perspective, it totally seemed like the kinds of ideas that would come up in a board meeting and then you try and quietly execute on, you know?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, you- I think if you're gonna play that game though, you guys have to swap. That's fine. Yeah, that's fine. Cause Lawrence has to- has to- I've already witnessed- moderate. It's not installed, but- No, no, I was saying Darkest Dungeon. Oh, sure, yeah, yeah. Just play-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, well this is a bad metaphor, but this is what we're doing. It's basically like McDonald's, and they talk about franchising out of McDonald's, where you don't want to necessarily start your own restaurants, you approach McDonald's, you say, hey, I'll give you some money, or I wanna license the McDonald's brand, they give you their menu, they give you their recipes, they like, you know, you can get stuff like that. The only difference is,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What they do is YouTube. And not to degrade our own medium, but most of the people that are gonna sign up for this are gonna get what from it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's not like they're getting sent a webcam. Nope. It's not like they're gonna, they're gonna go, oh I have a concept.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's, there's, this is, so this is a weird capitalism kind of thing, where on the one hand, it's not necessarily who does it first, it's who does it the best, and who can get the largest audience, right? So, so the whole saying, hey, reaction videos existed first, uhm, Adam, you can solve that puzzle.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was trying to do it. You just start from the back. Right side. That's what I was doing. Yeah, it's right side and then you go up and around and you go blah blah blah. Um, but uh, it's an inherent, it's an inherent capitalism thing where it says that you, there you go. Now you're doing it, now you're right.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, where, where it's like, whoever does it biggest, whoever does it best. But then the problem, the problem comes when it flips back around and the company who's doing it biggest and the best is now afraid of someone coming around and doing it bigger and better than them after the fact, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's what this feels like. My thing is, I get it. I know you guys want to protect this thing, and listen, you earned it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You guys earned it. You built a whole business on the back of these reaction videos, so clearly you were doing it better or more effectively than other groups were doing it. Otherwise, they would be you. But, that being said,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You can't just say, now no one else can do it, right? Because, because you, you only exist because you were able to navigate that landscape.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So can you continue navigating it? Cause if you can, awesome. You got it. You can hold the prize. But if you can't, it's not like if someone wins the Super Bowl one year, they don't go, they get to win it next year too.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, if you look to the history of business as a precedent, you're gonna be ruined. Cause business almost by its nature is terrible. Gotta separate those blacks and whites.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's a weird thing to do. So, so, I get it, you can look into examples of business, I mean that works, but you didn't need to do it. Wait, that works? Yeah, all you have to do is keep the black and white separate.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, if you look to, if you look to, like, business inherently, then you'll find any example of any under, understated, whatever, like, shady tactics and stuff. But I totally agree with Bruce. Did you win the lottery?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Or did you make your fortune? Right? Like, did you, did you build a business or did you just win the lottery? Did you get lucky? Or did you have a business plan of strategy? You gotta separate the blacks and the whites, Adam. I don't know how to tell you that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't think there's any legal, I don't think that legally anyone should get involved in this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, yeah, I agree. Here's my, here's my other thing, and this isn't a counter-argument, it's just building on top of it. YouTube...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] All YouTube does is serve videos to you on the internet. Yep. Other sites can do that too. YouTube is just the biggest and the best right now, right? Mhm.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But something else can come along with a different system that totally resolves that or whatever. So like, I mean, YouTube is just another example of a- of React videos happening. They just got to the top, and now YouTube is the one that-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Which, which again, I think is a, is a, is a strategy, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] For the world, for the life, this whole global existence in which we all have


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, they both work against each other, so. Go from there, go to the right. So I'm looking at the left one, right? So go to the right. And then go up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Everybody could hate us. Hey, Eric was there. I know, I love Eric. The guy who burnt out on the motorcycle, remember? He almost died. Oh yea, the guy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah? Social Darwinism? Just the people that are into that are going to be selected against, self-selected against?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I love the- so here's what I love. Here's what I love. The idea of a dildo on a- basically hydraulics. Just going like vroom vroom vroom vroom vroom at a constant rate. Being more pleasurable to women than actual sex with a man.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I wanna be the Minotaur, get stabbed and die on the ground.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, I don't have these puzzles memorized, so I have to learn how to do them again. The only thing, the trick to this game, The Witness, which is what we're playing, is that you have to learn what the puzzles are telling you to do. Yeah. So this one we just know it's blue and yellow. Goes in the middle, Adam.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, now that we're on the topic of finances, I have some financial advice for the audience.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] For some reason when I did that, my body just started hyper producing pus. Uhm.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I had it on there overnight, woke up, there was like a, it was kind of a bubble, I was like, that's weird, how did air get in there?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well yeaah, but your happiness is. Flu ain't like a bird.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I guess I did the thing that, you know, circa ten years ago everybody thought you could do, which is just start writing about games a lot, and then eventually get a job doing it. Uh, so I got hired on to run the Inside Gaming newsletter, which...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, Starcraft 2 Legacy Deployed begs to differ, Adam.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, may, may I add a little bit to that? Joel, I suggest that you film yourself doing that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You get James, you tie him down. You make him watch that on a loop.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, uh, it's interesting because what we have here is a good old fashioned case up. So, uh, after the video came out, he saw some...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do you actually think that PewDiePie sat down and took money away from his YouTube channel to take time to write a book? It's a crime drama, right? Authors are like George R.R. Martin who's like, yeah, it'll be done in six years.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think one of the big things is that what is the difference between someone like PewDiePie and someone like Vin Diesel or Dwayne The Rock Johnson?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't think there's that. I don't think there is. They're like, they're charisma balls, and they just happen to exist in different planes, kind of, but like, there are actors who are actors. There are the Kevin Spaceys, the, you know, Daniel Day-Lewises, they're the, like, Shakespearean dudes, but then for the most part,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We just now got these damn things, these pop filters. Oh man, it's so great. The other ones were falling off every single time we tried to use them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, but is it a lower list? If you were on a higher list, but you've since done things to worsen your career, should that penalize you and put you on a lower list? Cause we've done pretty well in our career, except our career is shitty.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A lot of, a lot of, it seems like that's also something that limits our ceiling is that a lot of advertisers and people that want to spend money on this type of content advertising through it and stuff don't get that you can still make money on your game. You can still advertise your game.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So here's the thing, and I cannot bear, this is purely speculative, have no, absolutely no idea.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But it feels to me like Microsoft is doing a better job of creating what we always say is going to be the future of gaming, which is a platform that you can then just do whatever. So like, you know,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Xbox is better, is doing better at integrating with, obviously, like Windows, so that way you can play Xbox games on your PC. So that way you're just buying a game all in one place, and then you have it everywhere, whereas, like, you know, Sony's probably selling more PlayStations, but...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The only time I can ever play a PlayStation game is on my PlayStation, on my TV.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I use Windows 10. Yeaah. Yeaah. I like it. I haven't had any issues with it. I mean, it's basically just, it's Windows again, but I don't have any issues with things fucking up and it's pretty much more organized. Also, I do play, I play Xbox One games on my PC. I stream it through whatever. Destiny on my PC, which is really cool.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do you think that the, uhm, do you think that there's still gonna be those things that get posted on Facebook that are like, oh, today's the back to the future day, where they just redo it after the date


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it's the stupidest, it's, it's literally for the dumbest people in the whole world. Because it has the date, the date, and then this date that doesn't match.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My fun retail experience. So I bought, I really like Sanukes. They started as sandals, but now they sell like actual shoes. They have these really soft sandals, but now they sell actual shoes, and they're actually pretty comfortable.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, and I'm lazy so I don't like tying laces. Uhm, but I bought another pair recently from a physical store.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then I decided, I tried them on, I was like, mm, not crazy about them. They're not as comfortable as I want my soft, my soft shoes to be. And so then I went to go take it back, cause they said I had 30 days, and the store was closed, it was a Sunday. And I'm like, ugh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The store is gone. Oh no! That store, not necessarily out of business, but they closed that branch of it. And now I'd have to drive to Anaheim if I want to return these shoes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's, it's in the avenue of the gravities and the sunshines.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Here's the funny thing about that, part of the reason, this is not a plot point at all, but Sean Bean's character has to resign at a certain point, and uh, part of it is due to a...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, yeah. It's a reference to Lord of the Rings, and Sean Bean is there, and then out of everyone, he's the one who has to sacrifice himself for it. And I was like, again! Again!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] As David Lynch intended. That's a bad experience. We were talking about David Lynch last week. That's what we were talking about. We were talking about his ideas for how you should watch a movie and how it conflicts with Adam's ideas for how you should watch a movie. Sure. The direct opposites. But I think David Lynch probably would want someone jerking off in his theater because that creates the ambience and the unease that he would want.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hello everybody, welcome to a exploratory bowl of dude soup. I probably already used that one, I don't even know. Uh, we are joined by Brian from Crystal Dynamics, who's the game director on Rise of the Tomb Raider. Hey everybody. Hi Brian. Nice to see you guys. Alright, thanks for coming back.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Did the tombs kind of take the same mechanical role they did in, I don't want to say the original Tomb Raider, but the most recent Tomb Raider, where essentially it's this side puzzle based exploration thing and then you get some kind of really cool upgrade at the end of it?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Attracted is the wrong word, but interested in that character because that didn't really exist in the game space at the time. Just like, an awesome chick who's rich and likes blowing shit up and going and finding cool stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] One of the things I liked about the original game is, uh, it, I think I always felt a connection to it because it kind of understood my neurotic need to collect things. And presumably that's what Tomb Raider's all about. You kick down the door to a tomb, you open all the treasure chests, you walk out with your arms laid and down with gold shit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You mentioned, uh, Tomb Raider had a high completion rate. I'm curious, as a, as a director, I'm sure that that, that strokes your ego a little bit, that people liked your product enough to play through it, but how does that factor into the evaluation of the success of a game? Cause you would think, from a business level, you don't really care if they finished it or not, just that they bought it and that they buy the next one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, Adam, you ready to kill some rat-mens? Again? Uh-oh. I never played this. Yeah, well, you're about to. Oh man. Aw, don't complain.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, now's a good time to, well, you know what, I'll wait for the, I'll wait for the podcast to be normal again. Yeah, don't worry about it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's gonna be fun. Huh. Hopefully you can download from Ustream. Let's hope so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If, if you decide to travel the world and explore tombs, make sure you get a good rest with your Casper mattress. Wow, nice one. Yea, I didn't have time to work up a good one, but Casper mattress is fucking phenomenal.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, like, buying an awesome Mega Man statue, that's really cool. But, you spend six to eight hours a day on a bed, so please invest money in that. And, uh, Casper mattress actually doesn't cost that much. You can get a twin for five hundred bucks, which is...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Really good for a bed. Uh, I got, my first bed I bought out of college was like 1200, and it actually wasn't that good. I suggest, if I could go back in time, I would make Casper mattress exist when I graduated college and then also buy one from them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, they, they bring together two amazing technologies, latex foam and memory foam. They've got just the right sync and just the right bounce no matter how you sleep. That I can vouch for. It's, uh...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I, I gave them to Elise, and then she donated them. Oh, okay. Listen, I gave a gift to people. Also, that was before I had or knew about a Casper mattress. So, if your finger is hovering over the checkout of a discount box of 30 anime DVDs, I beseech you,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, and now you can get $50 towards any mattress purchase by going to casper.com slash dudesoup and using code dudesoup.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So not only can you get a great mattress at a low cost, but you can get $50 off, they also have a


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A guarantee, so if you don't like it, they will pick it up for you. That's in a hundred days, by the way.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So you have nearly, actually over three months to decide if you like this mattress or not. But you will! That's, that's a, that's a Santa guarantees. You have one, right? Yea I do, they actually sent me one which is fucking great. F-bombs, careful buddy. No, I'm getting excited about beds. Okay. I think they'll like my passion here.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, uh, once more, if, uh, if all of my swearing has convinced you, uh, please go to casper.com slash dudesoup to check out, uh, Casper Mattress, and if you decide to bow one, please use code dudesoup for $50 off. Thank you for your sponsorship, Casper, and thank you for my, my wonderful sleepy time every night.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, so we got, we got two stories we can talk about, little gibby gabs. First of all, mod tools and map creation tools are coming to Black Ops 3 on PC. Weird, right? Yeah, very weird. Second of all, holy fucking shit, King got bought for a lot of money. Adam, why are profanities bothering you all of a sudden?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A lot of people are quick to say, pfft, not worth it. Not worth it. End.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm not, I'm not internet voicing here, I actually kind of agree that it's not worth it, but if you dig into it, it makes sense. And I think it's mostly because people don't understand how huge Candy Crush is.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, I was reading, I was reading an article, I read a few articles about it. Uhm, none of these are my own opinions because I don't have enough, uh, intelligence or experience in business acquisitions to form my own opinion on it. But a lot of the information that I read was, so here's the deal.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, the valuation of King was 20% over their current market price. Which is, as a lot of analysts that I've read say, is pretty reasonable actually. The thing is, they're still on a gradual decline from their huge IPO. Uhm, so they basically, they did their IPO,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So the consideration now is, it's not really that King was a bad pickup, it's more that Activision bought them at the wrong time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That King is in the middle of a decline, and that Activision waited a couple more years, they would have gotten them for less money. Uh, maybe something closer to their actual market value. Uh, I think it's important to note that King is also not just the developer of Candy Crush. They've made a number of other games that are popular, but have not equipped Candy Crush. Soda, Soda Crush. Yeaah. Soda, Soda Drink? Soda Popinski? Yea. Soda, Soda Crusher?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I mean, that's, that's intended. If you have the biggest thing in the world, you're gonna name something else after it. I don't blame them. Yeah. And they've actually, to their credit, also tried very hard to make their other games a success.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Most game companies, uh, I guess I would, I would source Rovio in this, if they get one hit, tend to write it as long as they possibly can. Whereas King tried their best to diversify to some extent.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Also, I don't care. How about my birds to be angry?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's definitely human nature to, to want to distill things down into comprehensible storylines. It's, it's kind of the Occam's razor of, of logic. A lot of people like grabbing onto that. Life is actually a lot more complicated and fuzzy. And uhm,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Something can happen right in front of you, and you can see it with your own stupid eyes, and think that you know what's going on, and you can still be wrong. That's the thing that I think, that's, for me at least, that's when I embraced true adulthood, was when I was like, actually, I'm not really right about anything. I can just do a best guess, and everyone else is kind of doing that too.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The thing that has served me really well is trusting that every human being in their own way is trying to do the best they can. There's this weird assumption on the internet that everyone is stupid, and they're making stupid decisions, therefore my evaluation of this is correct.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I remember pretty early, I remember like when I was five or six, with certain teachers just thinking like, you're kind of a dick. Just like, the way that they would talk to me and the way that they would treat me, and yea I was a kid, but I also remember thinking, you don't have to do that, you can level with me, like I'm not stupid, but, yea, that's uh, those are weird moments.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That company, as an entity, has more paying users per month than World of Warcraft, the world's most popular MMO. Yea, Activision now owns both. Yes, they do. And also they have half a billion monthly active users. 500 million. That's now under the Activision Blizzard umbrella. Yuck. Such a monopoly now. I mean, it shouldn't be seen as just buying market share.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, but that's certainly a part of it, and that's certainly part of the valuation, and I think, I think,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Thing, like, like, oh, you made Candy Crush, well, there will be something else next year that'll just replace it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] King has made other games that are doing very well, they just haven't matched Candy Crush, so comparatively they aren't seen as successes. But that's one of those things where they bought...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] One of the biggest players in mobile gaming. Now Activision has console, PC, and mobile. Boom. They have the biggest properties in all of them. And I think just, just that alone kind of positions Activision as one of the, well, probably the biggest games publisher for the next cu- five years? Ten years?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And that's what they make money off of, cause there's value to that. So yea, if a company like Activision Blizzard now has all the user data from World of Warcraft, all the user data from Call of Duty, and then wrapping in all the mobile user data, which by the way is linked to Facebook, so that's basically people's entire lives all spelled out, if they can have a huge like customer, when they call it customer relations management, CRM,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We need to find, like, if we can just run it through this machine, and say, okay, let's, let's buy ads to run on specific users, on specific games, because they are the most likely statistically to buy this game. Suddenly, you're making, like, your return on investment on marketing goes through the roof, because you're able to quantify who actually wants to buy this shit and who doesn't. And then you as a user, theoretically it helps you too, because you're busy playing Candy Crush and you're like, oh shit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What's that scene where the thing pops out of his arm and then he shoves it in? Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's what he says. Somebody has to, okay, so people made like the spring-loaded Wolverine claws, right? Yeah. Sure. Somebody has to have both made the Robocop spike and also have it be a giant dildo. Sure. Sure. I mean, it's basically what you're describing as a dildo. He shoves it in and then twists it. Women love that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You guys excited to make maps in Call of Duty? Oh yea, we were talking about that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, you'll be able to create maps and game modes and more. We will include unranked dedicated server files with the tools so you can run servers with modded content anywhere you choose. We will provide unranked server browsers so you can easily find and join servers with modded content. Closed alpha target date March 2016.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Man, Adam, you're such a good entertainer. Yeah. I, uh, hm. You're like the carrot top of comedy. You're the new Dick Van Dyke. Feels like it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I went to a tiki bar twice. It was fucking great. Yeaah. Uuuh. Something like a Lawrence thing. And I went to Vegas buffet cause you gotta.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, they didn't have that when I was there. They had to build your own omelette bar, which you gotta do, you know. Sorry.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I did have some good mac and cheese. Had Sriracha in it. Yum. Good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, there was, I imagine there was a lot of that, yea. Uh, the traffic wasn't so bad either going or coming back, so I don't, I don't know that Vegas is a hot, hot Halloween destination for Angelenos. They probably just go to West Hollywood. Like, somebody here,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Gave you the full experience. Did he have, uh, did he have spec scripts in his car, uh, to sell knife gun? No.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No. No. Some people would say yes, but no. Again, a cosplay culture is pretty deep, spool.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And just like before, people seem to respond to the authenticity of the natural play session in a way that they don't to the book report style of


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If anyone from the actual leaderboards for Sakura Clicker is watching, We're sorry.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Buy more adventures! You're in the DLC section.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I write a fucking script where I take my shirt off. Oh. Alright, well then nevermind. He answered the audience and said yes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's because we followed our instincts to get to a certain point, and so we're probably not going to just be like, okay, well we're not going to follow that instinct anymore.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is, this is what happens, cuz PewDiePie's, I guess, close to the industry, and he's like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We played Destiny together and we were like, fuck it, let's cap it, and then we'll put it up. It'll be a Destiny gameplay. And we put it up and people were like, why are you guys faking it? You're pretending to have fun, this isn't like you guys. And I was like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I trust that whatever Colin Farrell is in, I will like Colin Farrell.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I guess what Lawrence is trying to get at, and what is actually true, is that yeaah, the graphics will get you there for a second.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm sure as soon as like the first gameplay or like even screenshots come out, people are like, that's not what I expected. I, you guys, I wanted this and that whole debate's gonna happen like it does with every other game.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was confused by Destiny, actually, when, uhm, Halo Reach came out, it had dogfights, kind of. It had this one moment where you can fly spaceship and you can shoot things.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, so you could do the math, you're like Mad Max, open world, destruction. Cool!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't think there was really, there was never really an emphasis on story for GTA. It was, they kind of let the visuals and like, they let the city kind of speak for itself. Like the stuff they showed was a guy like putting up a foreclosure sign and stuff like that. And they're like, look, it's obviously modern day. There's a, you know, there's a recession. Like you get the idea. It's LA. So hopefully that's the way Mad Max


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Which is, that's in the game, but they did that with Witcher when it came to consoles. There's that really cool boat scene they did with the main bad guy. They didn't do that, I don't think that trailer came out until the game was re-released.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's funny that you brought up, uh, Cyberpunk though. If anything, uh, Witcher 3 has got me pretty excited for Cyberpunk.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Witcher, in my opinion, Witcher 3 is, uh, a big upgrade over Witcher 2, uh, in terms of like open world and just kind of like how much fun it's been and like, uhm,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It could be, some could see, I was telling Bruce earlier, it's the perfect game if you were in prison, and you had nothing else to do, because it is like, it is a rabbit hole of story, like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You do one thing, uh, examples like, I need to find this girl, Siri. Like, well, she's, uh, she, uh, went and talked to this baron. Go talk to the baron. The baron's like, I'll tell you where she is, but first you gotta do this. You're like, god damn it. And then he's like, and then you go to this one guy, he's like, I'll tell you where this guy's family is.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Go get my ghost. Well, no, here's the thing. So, yeah, it does, it is a rabbit hole of things to do. It is, but at least the story and the writing around it is like, it's interesting. I'm not gonna say, people are like, it's award-winning writing. It's like, it's a little cheesy. But, uhm.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So similar to what we were saying earlier though with like Avalanche Studio taking over Mad Max, all you have to do is go, you know, it's the Skyrim with guns thing where you just go, this plus this equals that. So you just go Just Cause, Open World, you know, Borderlands.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, exactly. Now I can see that. Now I'm just like, Witcher 3? Uh, Blade Runner? I'm in. Cool. So yeah, I'm actually, I'm excited for that. I'm more hyped than I was before when the trailer came out that James hates.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sure, well, I also try to avoid the hypey trailers. Like, I'm like you, James, in where I'm like, I'm not gonna believe the CGI, cause it's usually bullshit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was gonna say, watch a show we produce called Demo Dis, uh, where we try to play old games, and it's like, optimizing your system, checking your graphics card, one second, we're just like, dear god, games today, it's like, I mean, Witcher's a good example, it's a fairly optimized game, it's just like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, you know, install it, go. Done. Smash this button, here we go. It works. Oh, detective, you have a gamepad. That's cool. It'll just auto-switch to that. Whereas before, it's like, we played some bug in motorcycle game today, and it's like, please select from this list of types of controllers that exist.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Good there, huh? Actually, I have like, uh, Han Solo pants. I wanted Bruce to see those so that he'd be jealous.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah. The rest of it is just like, it's a book series I guess. Uhm, I don't know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was gonna say if the core of the gameplay is good, that's all you really need then from there. That's, I think that's what we, we always kind of default back to or like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Story's not necessary. You don't need it. If it's there, cool. Uhm, but the core of your game isn't fun, but you're like, the story is so good. It's like, I don't play games for story because they tend to not really be that great. Uhm, movies and books tend to have good stories. I really have yet to play a game where I'm like, this is, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is a great story. I don't know. I mean, that's off the top of my head. I can't think of anything really right now, but like-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, and it was basically, it says like, kill these dudes or offer to buy them a drink. And I was like, ah, I'm gonna be cool. I'm gonna buy everyone a drink. You have a round, you kinda talk, you go about your business. Later, you meet one of those guards guarding a town you're going into. He's like, I remember this guy, he bought us a round. Let him in. I was like, wow, those two fights I avoided because I bought drinks. Yeah, and then he touched the dirt.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I always liked that, I mean, like, when you died, like, the load time was nothing, it immediately just, it picked right up, like, I don't know, I always, I just liked it more.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You can do a parallel to Uncharted where it's like, Oh, Nathan finally learned his ways. Like no, he's just going to go back to fucking raiding tombs. Like that's his thing because he's a video game character. Like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There was no guy who picked up a copy of Uncharted 3, walked out of the store and goes, God, I hope they get those relationships right. He was like, I wanna go, like, jump off of rocks and shit, and shoot people.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We're nerds, and then we have friends who we consider nerds. Like, Lawrence is kinda like the nerd of us.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think, I think that ultimately, the thing that kinda look at video games differently than other types of media, it's not so much that it's the story they're trying to tell you, it's the story that you can kind of tell yourself.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it's like, you know, I always use like Skyrim as an example, but it's like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Most me, just media in general cannot do is have you create your own story of what you did. And that's, that's the more important part. So like Mad Max, like here's the baseline, but you're going to drive around and do so many, like what, what it looks like is they're going to offer a lot of cool, unique things that you can do that only you can do.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A good example, I guess, is uh, Bioshock? Cause that's the one where people always come back and be like, that is the great story. I'm like, it's a good story for a video game. Cause the way it's presented.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's funny too because Michael Bay loves stereotypes, and I was like, oh. Like, there are parts where there are, like, very Asian actors, but I was expecting it to be like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's just like, does it- does it explode? Does it got tits? Let's do it. Fuck yeah. And like, he must be exhausting to hang out with, but-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He got my respect after Pain and Gain, and then even more so after Transformers 4, cause that movie is exhausting.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think I saw it on TV and I was like, I can't do this. Like it, I don't know. Like I think I need to strap on goggles and be like in emotion.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's, uh, a lightsaber that he constructed on his own. That's why it's kinda fucked up and looked like molten lava. And those two things on the side are exhaust vents.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I know, I know. Boom! Could they stop a lightsaber? They're just gone.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've often wondered how- when people are always saying like, oh, keyboard and mouse destroys controller, it's like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I can't see where I'm shooting at, yeaah. Like, I would rather go into third person. It's easier to shoot this way.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I, I don't, I mean, I'm talking about work related stuff. I know. I don't, I don't. Nothing. Don't worry about spool.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Really? Well I had read that, uh, the game was rushed, it was Obsidian, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, they did not finish it and that was a big problem. Again, that was completely broken. That, uh, they ended up, the modders fixed it. And so, unlike that perfect meal that Bruce gets, uh, at the restaurant, the most perfect meal, that was a meal that was incomplete and broken and it took the people to fix it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] GTA is just one of those weird games where it's like, in my opinion, it is a perfect game. Uh, the online, obviously there's some issues that are-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, and like, I can't see, especially now on PC, like my only gripe was like, it's not at 60 frames a second. Well, I have nothing else to complain about now. So, it's one of those games that I don't think needed, needs to be modded.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Nice. I don't know, but like, like there's nothing that's so like, totally broken with the game, but I love doing skins and all that stuff, so like, I'm really excited for all that stuff. Yeah. I like how you patch your bullet wound. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They can't be like the Witcher devs where they're like, fuck everything, like, we can do whatever we want, like, fuck the man. It's like, no, they're...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're a publicly traded company, they're not the cool indie guys, like, they have to do these things, probably legally. Yeah. Just to cover their asses and be like, look, the game's secure, and when it gets broken, they can at least put their arms up in the air and go, sorry, we tried. We tried, sorry.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, as long as none of this stuff is taking away from...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What's gonna make Rockstar money, which is the microtransactions and that sort of stuff? Fine. I don't think they're gonna make a big deal about it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's a weird thing where it's like, I don't know, I'm trying to think of something like if I created something, some sort of t-shirt or some sort of design and like I made money on it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right, well, and then also keep in mind too, the guy who's, you know, doing the shading and creating the armor sets and all the things that you love is not the guy...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That never works. I got my butt touched a lot this weekend.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, well your argument was if someone laughs, there's no problem.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, fun fact, uh, Alan, who works in our sales department, uh, his brother who I met, uh, worked on that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it works in, I think it works in like security, like network security now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just missed him. I love you son. Jimmy died. Uhm, actually on that note, that was something I was thinking of. I wish they would do a cops and robbers type, uh, for-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it just, does the thing where it's like a little too bright. Like that looks normal, now turn it on. Yeah, it's a little, I don't know. Eh, it's so minor.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And let's say future GTA 5, where like, I've played through the single player before. And I'm like, but what if I went through it as Master Chief?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's kinda cool. That doesn't really change anything in the game too much. Like, it's just a skin. But like, yeah, it's fun to go back and play games like that. Like, I, I, I, just knowing that the option is there. It's not so much that it's fixing anything.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, installing, uh, mods for GTA 4, not the hardest thing in the world, but, you know, average PC player, or, I mean, maybe on PC, just average person who owns a copy of the game.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You, you download, or you go out, buy a 40, 50 dollar action replay system, plug it into the back of your system, or whatever the hell it is, or use that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, games actually, it's funny, it's the other way around for me. Uhm, I always, people, you know, the hardcore, cool, cool kids that I've worked with before, you being one of them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Whatever that is. I was on a thought, bubble, but whatever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Certain people wanted and it's like they wanted to increase the difficulty or make it a little harder and therefore it becomes less about entertainment and it becomes about


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, sad little teenager. I always had a theory that she, uh, she killed the baby, and the whole thing was her dealing with it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When he does the, the babe, the babe, the babe, the babe, the babe. Yeaah. Uh, the baby song.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I tell you, I rewatched those movies like six times and more than I should have and I remember


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Regardless, it's like such a simple concept and so good, but like, uhm, I was watching one of my favorite channels I like is, uhm, YourMovieSucks.org and


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's the, it's the glaring mistakes where you're just like, that doesn't work on any level. Like, you immediately go, what the fuck? Like, Star Wars?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It did okay, but I think they were looking at like Batman Begins numbers and they're like, it's actually really funny when you look at it because I was just noticing this. I was like looking back at the sort of history of it. Batman Begins, Superman Returns, and Green Lantern all kind of came out around the same time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And you can tell they were like, kind of marvelling it a little bit, but nothing was really connected because I don't think so. I don't think they were ready to commit, because they were like, let's just see how these do. It's sort of like Disney with uh, Pirates of the Caribbean, the Haunted Mansion, and was it the Bears?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's why I'm actually really happy that we're like, okay, everyone did the three Batman movies. I think everyone's, at this point, what I've seen, most of the Batman fans are like, Batfleck, yes, oh my god, like, that chin, oh my god, yes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But those ideologies of when, when Superman was made, it was like, uh, uh, America the Great, Apple Pie, now we got things like Snowden and the NSA and spying our own people, like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, and if you are, one of the things, uh, worth mentioning, uh, how fan art became its own show. That's true. That spawned from the podcast, we're actually, uh, we're shooting our first episode of the comment show. That's right.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We're pulling comments from all everywhere, so we read comments and it might show up on a new show soon.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Remember? Ask the Ass. Yea, I remember. It's a famous scene.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Welcome everyone to a secretive, rumor-filled episode of Dudes Who!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You don't know what it is, you have to rely on an anonymous source to tell you what it is.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's only one source, that means it's a rumor. But then, a day later, someone tweets that soup isn't what you thought it was. Anyway. Uh, Lawrence is already upset. Yea, this ups- no, I'm not upset. He's heated. He's already upset.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, there was a little jitter. Uh, this episode of Dude Soup is brought to you by Harry's Vine Preveyors of subscription shaving stuff that comes to you in the mail. Uhm, they're currently doing a Father's Day promotion, so if you are a father or have one, or had one at some point,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, real quick, uh, just go to harrys.com. We have a code dude that'll give you 5% off your father's day set. More information about that later. First, we got some spice to discuss, or rather, re-discuss. It's the fact that Joel's back on the podcast! Joel's back, everyone!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Why are people mad? Uh, because... Why are people mad? We told them something they wanted to believe and then they refused to believe it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, so recap, uh, we, we, uh, we stretched our little journalism fingers and, uh, we're privy to a particular rumor from an anonymous source that, uh, Microsoft was in talks with Konami to buy the Silent Hill property. And part of that would be making Silent Hills an Xbox One exclusive.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, you know, pretty interesting stuff, not entirely unbelievable yet. Other details got a little less believable, namely that the purchase price for the property, uh, was in, yeah, potentially in the billion dollar range.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes, uh, and that also Silent Hills as a game was at this point 80% complete and could feasibly be released by March of 2016 as an Xbox One exclusive.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Based on like that gut check, a lot of people called bullshit, which I don't fault them at all for. I would do that too. Uhm, in fact, kind of did the first time I heard about it, so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, but you know, uhm, we, we did our fact checking behind the scenes and then came to the conclusion that, uhm, even though it initially sounded like it was a load of bullshit, uh, after we kind of talked through it and, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] May or may not have checked around. Uh, cannot, can neither confirm nor deny that. Uh, we came to the conclusion that actually it did make a lot of sense eventually. So, what we can do right now is take a little, take a little more time, blow a little more hot air, maybe not cold air, and explain ourselves.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Which is not true at the time. At the time Microsoft was very 100% staunchly saying we will never ever sell an Xbox One without a Kinect.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And typically that works. Uh, if, if you've covered the industry long enough, you just kinda get a sense for how things work. And this is definitely not business as usual. Uhm, so if, if you're a games writer or, you know, a beat cover of, of gaming industry stuff, and you hear this, you're like, that is bullshit and let me tell you why.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, so we have this story, it is apparently bullshit. But, is there a way in which it makes sense? Uh, so we can talk about a few of this stuff. First of all, the billion dollar figure is apparently very high, and we said that in the episode, for a property that has been dormant for a long time. You know, like, Downpour came out, but that didn't really amount to much.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, so, so there are a few aspects by which Silent Hill as a property is a lot more appealing than just a dormant franchise that nobody really cares about anymore.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, the first one that a lot of people didn't consider are the movies. Uh, this first Silent Hill did pretty well in terms of box office. The second one not so well, but still earned money. So you're not just talking about, uh, you know, an old game franchise. You're also talking about a property that has been successfully converted into movies. So now it's a transmedia property. And that word by itself adds a lot to a price tag.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, I think also another aspect is that Microsoft is actually pretty forward looking. They bought, they bought Minecraft. And I think what they see...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, presuming this is true. I think what they see in Silent Hill is a Five Nights at Freddy's style IP that they can own lock stock and barrel basically. So they saw the success of Five Nights at Freddy's on YouTube. They saw the success of PT.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And they're thinking there's not really another horror games franchise that's poised to blow up like this in new media on YouTube with like streamers and stuff. And they know that's how games are marketed nowadays. That's the most successful way to market one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, it's also just a brand ambassador thing, like, and this plays into PT getting pulled from the Playstation store, so imagine Silent Hills becomes a YouTube phenomenon, and like PewDiePie and Markiplier and all the big YouTubers are playing it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And Microsoft and Xbox branding are all over all of those videos.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's a sort of like brand penetration that you pay a lot of money for because it's organic and really effective. That's a lot better than shelling out a shitload of money to buy ad space on X Games or something like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Also, so yeah, the 80% complete figure was the other thing that a lot of people cited as like, no way, impossible. So a couple of things is that PT came out about a year ago at this point, and that means that a year ago, the engine was complete, like the interface was complete, assuming that Silent Hill is gonna play like PT did.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, all the technical stuff is done. So it's just content creation and testing at that point.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Again, I can understand the skepticism, but to go from, I mean, let's rough estimate maybe 40-50% complete when PT released to 80% now, is definitely not out of the realm of possibility. And then Norman Reedus, yea, said, I haven't done any mocap for the game, but that was in December.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm like, I bought a PS4 for P.T. I'm like, now I gotta buy an Xbox. I'm not yet, you know, give it some time. Uh, I guess, uh, kind of my, my personal, my last final thought on this topic is I'm kind of fascinated at some of the anger that, that came out of, because we reported on it. It's so strange because


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] To me, like, I've been, I've been doing gaming news for a very long time, and there used to be a lot of news.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But, uh, game companies have gotten very good about managing messaging. Basically, they just squash all of their employees all the time. You cannot say anything or be thought of as speaking for the company ever. A lot of companies even have NDAs, like, they're not allowed to have social media accounts and things like that. So, things just aren't said anymore. There's not a lot to talk about.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, For Better or Worse is really not my purview, but it's really interesting to me that people would get so mad given that we did exactly what a lot of people want people in our position to do. We learned some interesting information, some information that I would think a lot of gamers would want to know about.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So yeah, I think the headline got out there because it's a really spicy headline and then people just got mad at us for saying it was true. Yeah, spicy like Joel.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, well if you're, I mean if you're talking about quantum mechanics, which does influence how light behaves, it's, it's the principle of you can either know where it is or where it's going, but you can never know both at the same time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Put some thought behind it and because we, you know, we want you guys to trust us.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We know you're not gonna watch some guys bullshit about stuff and if you don't trust them or respect their opinions, or respect the work they do, so. We wanted to make sure that at least our motivations were conveyed accurately.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] On that note, uh, one thing else you want to make sure accuracy is involved in is your shave! Nice job! That was really good. Was it? I dunno about that. I thought so. So this episode of Dude Soup is sponsored by Harry's.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You can even personalize the Razor. Uh, you can get both Razor and Razor Stand in Grade 4 Dad with his initials.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The giftable set includes a chrome Winston handle, three of Harry's high quality German engineered blades, a bottle of shaving cream or foaming gel, and Harry's new razor stand shipped straight to your door. It's a stress-free way to give a great gift this year with no lines and no hassle.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just go to Harrys.com and use our code DUDE for five dollars off.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, Joel has used the razors extensively. What is your experience with those, Joel?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] God, you guys have, you guys have indomitable testosterone, Joel.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You shaved like what? Six hours ago? Eight hours ago? Yeah, I know, there it is. I can already hear him rubbing his chin. Oh yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But then I used the, uh, Harry's shaving gel and it washed right out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, uh, basically you will engage in a scenario and that scenario will have a win condition and then you fight on this map and then-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It might be like, defeat so many generals, capture so many cities. So anyway, that's how you play this game. Let's move on. Yeah, please. Here's the other, other rumor that we didn't start. It actually was started by a respectable Japanese outlet, is that Nintendo's next console will run on Android. Which is a cool thing, and it's also another topic that


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think warrants a good amount of conversation. It's, at this point, fairly baseless. It's just some guy said it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, uh, I guess, I guess one of the, one of the things that I, or one of the opportunities I wanted to grab onto now that we've got some time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And now that I've seen people discuss this, is that it seems a lot of people don't quite know what an operating system is.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, people talk about Android as though it is synonymous with phones, or mobile. It's not. Uh, and as much as Windows is synonymous with desktops, which actually a lot of people do think that anyway. Now I think of it as my Surface RT tablet. Yes!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You got all the little chips, and the chips do all the math that you like. Uh-huh. The chips draw the peoples, uh, they play porn for you. Except, those chips don't do that by itself. You have to give it instruction.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, and if you were to do it manually, you'd basically be putting cards into a giant machine and pulling levers and...


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[Assistant] Well, and Android is also the world's most popular OS. It is running on the most devices right now. And that's thanks to phone hardware.


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[Assistant] Yeah, it's a fork of Linux basically, but honestly it goes back to Unix and even Windows is a fork of Unix at this point, after the NT kernel. That's some nerd shit. Anyway...


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[Assistant] The point is that, uh, that layer, that software layer where operating systems run, is not dependent on anything above or below it. Uhm, well let us do a degree, but essentially you can have, you can have Android running on a phone, you can have Android running on a desktop, you can have Android running on a refrigerator.


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[Assistant] All it does is parcel out the hardware and schedule tasks and things like that.


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[Assistant] So uhm, to, to extend what you were saying Adam, uh, listener, you might be asking yourself, okay, or Joel.


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[Assistant] Program, if you want the time, call this particular function, and then I'll get the time for you.


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[Assistant] And the idea is that Android then knows how to get the time from this CPU and that CPU and that CPU. And no matter what CPU it's running on, you as a developer can say, Android give me the time and Android will give you the time no matter what it's running on.


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[Assistant] The idea being then that if Nintendo's hardware were to run on Android, a game you develop for a phone could then just run on Nintendo's hardware as well.


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[Assistant] Maybe not necessarily so universal because that not necessarily implied, but the idea is that if you are a developer who has made something on Android in the past, you can then work on Nintendo's console and have a huge head start about how to get the time or how to draw geometry or how to do shadowing.


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[Assistant] Yeah. And what I, how I see this factoring into Nintendo's weird, bizarre way of doing business is that something about the NX hardware will still make software exclusive to that platform.


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[Assistant] Uhm, so, you know, there'll be some weird, like, maybe not a motion thing, but yeah, like some kind of controller interface that basically means you can put Candy Crush on this if you want, but if you want to make a Nintendo game, you should utilize this feature of the console that makes games different somehow.


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[Assistant] But, uh, I mean, like, the Dreamcast ran on Windows. That's something that, like, a lot of people don't really remember. Oh yeah, it ran on Windows CE. A customized fork of Windows CE. So it's, it's, like, using an existing OS to power a games machine,


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[Assistant] You're already doing that. That happens all the time. And like SteamOS is another example, like the operating system is divorced from the hardware. So Nintendo could, and they're actually pretty good at making efficient small hardware, and then Android's just an interpretation layer that


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[Assistant] It just makes it so a lot of people can actually develop for the damn thing instead of like a non-documented customized operating system that they write themselves. So not only does Nintendo not have to write their own software, but developers now don't have to relearn software. It just, it cuts a lot of corners and it just makes sense.


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[Assistant] So, uh, yeaah, just, just to drive, just to put a fine point on it, Android does not mean phone, it does not mean mobile, and it doesn't mean, like, underpowered. All those things are divorced from Android, which simply just means that, like, a lot of people would know how to make games for it, which is a pretty good thing, and actually, uh, Yeaah, I mean,


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[Assistant] That's the other thing, yea, if the hardware's, like if the hardware's good enough, it can run whatever.


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[Assistant] Like, Microsoft and Sony have a handle on third-party ports of AAA games. And I think Nintendo understands that they need those, but that's not their focus?


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[Assistant] Yeah, well, what they want is they want third party software developers to make software for their hardware that exclusively utilizes their hardware. So they basically want to own it all. Which is interesting. I don't know if they're ever going to again, but...


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[Assistant] Man, one final point is that, uh, if Nintendo hardware typically comes out in five to six year cycles, and at this point, uh, we're looking at new hardware in 2017. 2017, Joel, you ready? Joel, you did it! Are you ready?


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[Assistant] I mean, eh, yeah, we're essentially, it's, it's so hard for people to wrap their minds around now, but it's really, it's really like movies or any other form of entertainment. You can watch a movie on almost any device, and it's made that way to encourage consumption. Uhm, it's gonna be that way for games eventually too, like you will, you will pay the service provider


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[Assistant] That's the other thing, yea. They've been profitable for every quarter except one in the last thirty years.


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[Assistant] So if, if, if Nintendo's device runs some implementation of Android, it is conceivable that Android could become a desktop operating system rivaling Microsoft in terms of gaming.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So here's another interesting headline in reference to the last story. Uh, I saw it today, or actually it was yesterday, sorry.


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[Assistant] So, uh, this is kind of a trend I've seen in games writing and games media for a while, just like the self-imposed, jaded, just-so-over-it nature of games coverage.


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[Assistant] Yeah, I know, right. Uh, Mr. Colin Campbell over at Polygon wrote a Rock Band 4 preview in which he spent the entire time saying just how over Rock Band 4 he was.


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[Assistant] James, I wanna, I wanna read, I wanna read a paragraph to you.


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[Assistant] Uhm, so he was at a Rockman 4 event, uh, talking about how he's on the roof of a pricey hotel in this media event. So here we go, quote,


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[Assistant] But there's more chance of Ferdinand Marco sleeping onto that stage than there is of me mounting the boards, swinging a guitar strap around my neck and yelling, who?


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[Assistant] I don't care about rock music. I dislike crowds, and I dislike loud noises. I don't do public performances excepting Toastmasters, which I enjoy from time to time, along with a half dozen accountants, school teachers, and self-improved nutters.


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[Assistant] Thank you for saying it, James. Uh, I, I have, there has been, I don't know what it is, but there's, there's this like,


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[Assistant] Like a masturbatory celebration of self when it comes to writing, I guess in general, but games writing specifically about...


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[Assistant] When you're writing about a game and then you immediately make it about yourself, you're doing a disservice to your reader who cares about the game. And I've, I've seen this happen a lot and it's happening even more and more I guess as, I guess as writing becomes more insular. People kind of write for each other and themselves. And it bugs me because this is about games, like games are fun and we should-


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[Assistant] Like, how cool is it that anyone would get to use any of their time to go play a music game that's not out yet and probably be fed for free?


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[Assistant] So I think, I, I do wonder if, cause I've seen this happen more and more and the tone is getting more and more severe. Uh, I, I wonder if, if like you have these, these, I hate to say these writers, cause I'm a writer too, but uhm, maybe there's this almost like midlife crisis aspect where somebody's like, I can't spend my entire life writing about how many features are in Rock Band.


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[Assistant] Yeah, that's the thing, your writing is meant to be accessible and educational, and entertaining, like all of those things. But when you're, when you're thesourcing and like trying to pick the most obscure and smart word that you can, you're writing for yourself, you're not writing for your audience anymore, and that's the thing that kind of gets on my nerves.


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[Assistant] So that kind of gets back to one of the points, and I can wrap this around to one of the first points I made when we were talking about the, uh, the rumor, uh, the Silent Hills rumor, is that I think in this lack of actual news or things to actually write about or any meaningful analysis to have because there's just not that much information out there anymore, uhm,


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[Assistant] That's, that's very true. You're very right about that. Uhm, and E3 is another point to talk about when it comes to people being jaded. But, I think that it's interesting because the state of games media, especially games writing, has suddenly become somebody writing an opinion piece and then people just firing back and forth about that kind of like we are right now.


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[Assistant] And that becomes the discussion of games media instead of, you know, having fun with games.


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[Assistant] He may be a wonderful person, I don't know. Uh, I do take issue with the intent and the wording of that article though.


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[Assistant] So, you know, that's typically something we stay out of, and if you've ever wondered why, that's why. And if you've ever asked us to dabble in that stuff and we don't, that's why. It's because, I don't know, we like to f- WE GET HATED! I don't know. Well, it's about games. Fuck it. I think it gets a little toxic. It gets incestuous. Yeah, it's-


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[Assistant] And then, and then it, I don't know, it gets into like camps, people get tribal about it, it's just weird. Alright. Games are fun. Thanks for listening!


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[Assistant] Yeah, thank you, Swool. Uh, more on that later.


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[Assistant] What is a video game? Like, Grass Growing is now a video, like, a video game of enjoyment. It's like, well I don't enjoy it, like, well I do. So different shows, different folks, that sort of thing. That is gonna get even broader with VR.


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[Assistant] Yeah, I don't know the exact numbers, but there's a good chance that Dota is making them a lot more money than Half-Life ever did.


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[Assistant] Also Valve has become a service, like you said, they're not really much of a game developer these days. Uhm, and like, uh, what was it, like Counter-Strike, they just kind of put hidden paths. Skins! Yea, well they gave it the hidden path, like here, you do it. Meatknives! Yea, you figure it out. Where are you going, Adam? I have no idea, I've actually never gone all the way through. Why, you never played Lost Coast? I did a long time ago.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What you're saying, James, is probably what Valve is saying. They're like, we don't care. We don't care about this universe or this character that we made. We're way more interested in things like Dota and being a service and all these other things.


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[Assistant] Like, there are certain games like that, but they don't do as well, and I think they're looking to push tech.


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[Assistant] Not to mention, so many other games, also like,


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[Assistant] Kinda in the sense of world building, like Portal kinda took off and they didn't really think it was going to, so it's like, well now how do we integrate Portal into this world? You know, they have all this...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I imagine what you do, you just do what they did with Half-Life 2 when they were doing the ATI cards early on, where basically if you buy this headset, it comes with a free copy of the game.


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[Assistant] Done and done. Cause Valve's not gonna be like, you could only play it with VR. They're gonna be like, we highly recommend you do play it with VR, so please buy this silly little hat.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] HTC makes nice displays. I don't know if you've seen the M8. Oh yea. Great phone. So, good to know.


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[Assistant] What did I do last? Like I don't remember and I have to like spend a good hour just trying to remember what I was doing. And then even then I'm just like, I don't know if I want to keep playing.


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[Assistant] Yeah, you can just walk in any direction and just find something to do, like someone will run up to you and just be like, you're the chosen one, you're like, sure am, and then you just go do something else like...


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[Assistant] I mean, when you really break it down, it's a fairly simple game, where it's like, the more things you do, the more you level up, and you put points in certain slots, like it's nothing too crazy, I'll do a video stress test.


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[Assistant] There's other things you can do? I don't remember. Uh, but anyway, yea, Skyrim, I think a lot of people actually give it shit for...


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[Assistant] They're really complicated. Yeah, but at the same time they always like, they really look at mods closely though. I think it was like, I was at Dice years ago and


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[Assistant] This is like the most gamer story ever. Uh-oh. I was hanging out with Todd Howard at the bar. And I was, I was, I was, uh, Here we go. And we were just kind of talking about Skyrim mods and he was like, yeah, we fucking love mods. Like they're great.


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[Assistant] Uh, we play with them all the time, so it's like, they're very, they're, they keep their eye on that stuff, and they're probably gonna be integrating it into their game, so like, the sky UI. Yeah, talk to the guy who makes sky UI.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, there's a good chance I could like, you know, hire a modder just to come in and take it on like whatever they're going to be doing with the pit boy or whatever the interface is going to be.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do Fallout with really nice textures and kind of clean up the UI and I'm happy, so.


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[Assistant] Yeah, so like, okay, so you're three years late to the party. Uhm, but like, that was, the game was mind-blowing when it came out and just the hype up to release was just like, it was next level.


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[Assistant] Very well paced, and that's very hard to do, I think in a first person shooter. Uhm, cause it just, games get bogged down, and like, like we were talking about, like, uh, Wolfenstein's like one of the rare ones, I was like, pacing the game is like, just, perfect.


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[Assistant] So real quick, not video game related, the reason why I'm running around right now, I guess we haven't really given an update like, I guess on the office space situation. Let's do it. I don't know if we've been clear on this, this is temporary, so right now we're in Culver City, but we're like in an annex type area, so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We're, uh, we're at the fullscreen office right now, and all the fullscreen is moving to a much bigger office, and we're part of that move.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So part of that is, yea, I live in downtown LA, and getting down here is already kind of a trek, so my wife's actually in the office right now, and we're looking at an apartment, like now. In this office, all you guys. It's actually right around the corner, it's going to be right next to our new office, I'm going to go look at that right now, but I gotta leave early, sorry, I wish I could stay for the whole time.


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[Assistant] Black Ops 2 was the best selling Call of Duty of all time.


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[Assistant] Boom, boom, gotcha. So there, I mean, imagine Treyarch going, we want to call it something else, and Activision said, no. Shut up. You're making blackout. I'm pretty sure that's how that conversation went.


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[Assistant] We were talking about this too, uhm, well there was the press release that came out recently for Tomb Raider, uh, that said the latest Tomb Raider sold, what, 8.5 million units? But we've seen those sales where it goes on sale for like 5 bucks. So it's a little misleading, but it also apparently sold more copies than any of the other Tomb Raiders, right?


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[Assistant] That's, that's, that was my, that's the point I was getting at is when that game sells 20 million, it's usually at full price. It rarely goes on sale.


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[Assistant] I guess I feel bad as an internet journalist because I don't care.


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[Assistant] Well, they made a very distinct call with modern warfare where they said basically, alright, we're going to the future, like there's really no going back. Like, Black Ops was kind of in the past, but like, they just kept going forward. And then Black Ops was like, fuck it, we're going to perfect dark times.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wait, you can just skip fights in this? And just progress the story?


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[Assistant] Well, I was saying like, if Treyarch's doing it, I was thinking this, like, I think we've talked about this before, but I was saying like, it always blows my mind that Battlefield hasn't figured out single players yet, and they keep trying to copy Call of Duty. Battlefield 4. What?


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[Assistant] I don't, I don't like the like overly cinematic go through the game because it's not representative battlefield in any way. I was saying why don't they just drop you in a giant battlefield.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What? No. No, no, I'm just saying it's a giant open world and basically you can tackle this mission in any order. You can go through, as long as you complete two of these three objectives and depending on which way you, like, you complete these and you win, uh, certain, the next part will unlock and you just go through like a branch like, uh, Star Fox.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Basically like, you liberated this area, moving on, choose, left or right, and it's like, you just go through, you just go through every multiplayer map, but there's just a bunch of, you know, shitty AI, that's like, uh, what's that called, Titanfall.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Open world-ish gameplay, like open world and Call of Duty's linear path, like sort of like you have a hub you can go through.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, and it's like, you have these three things to do. You do them in any order and figure it out. And you might not complete them all. But either way, the mission will, you know, the whole game will end. And it's like, take that idea and expand on it. That's kind of what my hope is. Where Call of Duty will go.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They also get, people complain about it, but it's the thing we always say, it's like, a lot of people complain about Justin Bieber and he's still really popular and rich, so, turns out a lot of people just have opinions and when you reach a certain height, a lot of people are gonna have, like, you're almost in a better position that people have an opinion about you rather than not talk about you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We also, we talked about Titanfall trans, like my, my opinion is I think it should transform, it should transform to some sort of MOBA. Honestly, it's already, it's halfway there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's got- Like Overwatch? Yea, I mean, you basically just create three lanes, you've got towers already, and you've got the creeps. And you're like, okay, and then take out the upgrade system and just make it game- make it a game base, and then you just unlock heroes and you just pay for skins.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, I love the one in, I think it was Black Ops 2 where you can play as like, McNamara and like, JFK. Oh yea. That was so cool. Like, uh, I'm gonna kill you zombies. Like, that was cool. That was, that was my Nixon impression, sorry.


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[Assistant] I wanna sit in a meeting with Netherrealm when they're like, alright, and they like map it out on a napkin where they talked about how they're gonna kill this dude.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's just too much shit though, like every time we go to these like press conferences and they're like, we've added so many crates and so many unlocks and scopes and I'm just like, I don't care. Like there's just, there's just too much. Like that's why I'm like actually really excited for Halo 5.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Did I ever tell you my- I was gonna say, did I ever tell you my really, really stupid Call of Duty idea?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do you wanna hear it? So you just do this. Okay. I was gonna say, okay, so here we go. First level, you start as a caveman.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And you, it's basically 2001, a space Odyssey style where like you learn to use a weapon. So like you pick up a stick and you learn to like stab someone with it later. That becomes like a javelin or something like that. You basically go through history and then you work your way up like through different time periods and it jumps around, but it's a, it's a through line. So like basically takes you from early man to like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The nuke goes off, and it's like, you're like, holy fuck, I just died. That was cool. Like, that was, I like that idea, because all of a sudden now it's like, no one is safe. You're not good, it could go either way. So I was like, they could really expand on that and do some crazy stuff, and you could be a 1970 SWAT cop, and you might die. Like, you don't know. And that would be kinda cool.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's actually, it's funny you bring up the Beatles, I was just, I was going to the grocery store the other morning and they have like, Sundays at the Beatles, or Sunday Breakfast Beatles, some radio station bullshit, I didn't, it wasn't my car, so I didn't have my music.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It, it sounded like the kinks, or like, it, it sounded very much of that time, and then yea, you're right, and then later they were like, let's do some fucking crazy shit, you know, like, it's interesting to listen to their older stuff, when it was very, I guess commercial, right?


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[Assistant] A lot of people involved. Yeah, that won't happen, but I mean like. Yeah, I think that describes id software? Well, I mean like James describes Bungie made Halo.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's cool. How much, how much did you lose your shit when you rented Dumb and Dumber and it had a trailer for, uh...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I had rented, my mom or someone rented Dumb and Dumber and then I...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, Highlander 10 or something? I don't know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Any movie that was rated R got the okay for a Saturday morning kids cartoon. They're like Robocop, make it a kids show.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Rated R adult comedy had a cartoon. Yea. I don't know, it was weird. And MC Hammer had like six other ones and like same with Jim Carrey.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Everyone, everyone had weird parental roles, like, I couldn't watch Beavis in Butthead, I couldn't play Mortal Kombat, I could play Street Fighter, and I could watch The Simpsons. I had a friend who wasn't allowed to watch Simpsons.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Thank god we've progressed past that, whereas like, violence in video games was considered bad for some reason.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's a lot of mo- like, remember Spawn did that for some reason? They're like, I was like, Spawn's so cool with his mask, why do they keep showing his burnt face?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is the beauty, this is the beauty of having your parents separate when you're three. You get to have weekends with dad. And when dad don't give a fuck, you get to watch a Beavis and Butthead in shitty movies like Dread. And he's like, go hang out at the theater for like three hours, who cares.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, sort of like Smash Brothers, remember, there was, uh, the Do You Know Gaming, I was watching, and they were like, every Smash Brothers since the one in the N64 has been at 60 frames a second and performs a certain way, and I was like, it's kind of nice that games can last as long and just kind of...


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[Assistant] Also, don't tease me at Dark Tower. I saw another post today where they're like, Sony confirms Dark Tower is still a thing. I'm like, please just stop. Have you read all Dark Tower? Yes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I mean, actually, that's, that's a good, if anyone's looking for kind of two


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, right? I was trying to come up with a situation where I'm like, camp, or I was stuck in a submarine. Like, what about a public bathroom? I'd have been a guy in the stall.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, so the, the house I grew up in, uhm, across the street was all being developed, and it was taking years to develop, so, we always just called it the desert, and it was just basically...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is way before video. Uh, but there would be like a chronological story of like, the two girls are just hanging out in the library, and like, where do you, oh, did you drop a book? And like, it was a photo set, like maybe they still exist somewhere in, in internet land, but like, you, and then like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] False pages of like, THE HISTORY OF TRILONKA! The history- okay, mom's gone? Okay, now let's look at porn.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's a certain corporate perception that like, we need to protect a certain price point. Uhm, and I understand that, but I also really disagree with it in the kind of new media world that we're in. So like, where it's like, a game has to be $60, why?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well because if we sell it for less, then people will start expecting games to be cheaper.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And for now, like, especially with digital media, like, it seems like, if I can drop the price through the floor, who gives a shit?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's funny too about the hacking thing because most, most of the hacked Xbox's like the ones that people actually


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, it's, I think it's honestly, I honestly think it's a power thing. I think, I think it's, it's, I can, so I will. You know? There's some of that. I think that's definitely involved because, you know, like we were saying, they have access to Steam.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They have steam sales, they have all kinds of cheap deals, they have arguably the cheapest games.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Again, so as people making a decision to say here, take my money. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, without sounding too tree-huggery, maybe it's the Orion Blind Forest that I'm watching, but...


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[Assistant] There's a certain amount of waste that human beings produce. And I don't know that that added to that pile of waste needs to be giant.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm sure that's not where you were going. No, I was gonna say, what game, what game was it that, that had printable, it was a digital game, but if you wanted to print out what would have been the game cover for the game, you can't, you could just go to their website and do it. A few of those, a few of those have done that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, they had alternate versions, but there was, there was one game specifically that I remember they were like, if you want, it's like a game like this or something, but it was like, if you want a box for it. I think limbo did that. Uhm, if you want a box for it, just come to our website and you can print out a box that you can slide into anything. Uhm.


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[Assistant] No. Please? I think they've done the math and they're like, we want it to work really well.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If the numbers don't work out, then we'll just take our time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It fucking works. Oh my god. Can we talk about it working? Yes, let's talk about it working. Oh man, so...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, it's exactly what I want from multiplayer games. Right? I don't give a shit about Call of Duty, right? I wanna play with my friends working together towards a common goal. That's actually, I play a lot of board games, and now I'm like totally into board games where you can work cooperatively towards a common goal. And, uh...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I just don't want to have to pay for the boat.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Directly above that was like another tweet that someone tweeted at us that was like, loved it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Video that you think is shit, like, there's a pretty good chance that someone else might like it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh yea, Red Sonja? No. No. Wait, you mean- Red Sonja. Is it Red Sonja? I mean, yea. She's not technically from Kona and the Barbarian. The movie?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes, he said he works at a Kroger or something. He works at a thing and part of his job is to make balloons and sometimes if there's no theme or there's balloons left over he can, he can do whatever he wants to. Like make a leprechaun. Like make, well no I think leprechaun is what he was supposed to make. He made a bunch of assholes beforehand.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Tomorrowend I felt like was still kind of a PC RPG. Like the UI was really small, the inventory, like text was small, all the interface was kind of dependent on a mouse. And it was also really hard and they didn't tell you where to go for most of the quests. Whereas in Oblivion, now you have like quest markers, a giant map.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, let's see, from Oblivion to Skyrim, I think the quest markers and the questing got a lot better. Uh, there's a lot more content to the game. They simplified the shit out of it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So obviously Fallout 4 is going to happen at some point. Whether or not it's next, kind of remains to be seen.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's a re- it's a really sticky game mechanic because if you- if you make yourself dependent on other people, then you have friends who are like, we need to play tonight because I want a new hat. Yeah, I'm not a fan of that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's right, it didn't. No, it was, it was just a shooter. Uh, some things you could level up, like you could get better armor and higher health if you found the right items in the world. But yeah, I, I dunno, I, I...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Here's another tale of terrible things in Skyrim. Uh, the first time you kill a dragon, you get the like weenie version of your dragon shout.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I forgot what it was, it was like, I was like, you should kill yourself.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, soupysales has an interesting, uh, interesting projection of how our next year will go. Uh oh. He or she writes, I'll subscribe, but I just realized something. The IG crew will do to Rooster Teeth exactly what they did to Machinima.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, so Greg Gregington writes, you guys- oop. Hold on, every time you tap on the screen it brings up the keyboard. You guys would be a lot better of a fan base if you just realized your bitching does absolutely nothing to influence them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Being up, bring up the past because of IG, because it holds no relevance, it makes the whole channel an experience and ungenuine. TLDR, shut the fuck up.


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[Assistant] Clutch it to your ribcage at all times. Keeps it warm. Uh, gummy, gummy peer, hm.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Lawrence and I both saw it. It's great in a way. So let's talk about Hitman first. Let's start on a high note.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And this is actually something that I've noticed in games in general, uh, lately, is that they are kind of dropping the need to portray the player as the hero. Uh, Watch Dogs, yea, was very anti-hero. There was another one that came out really re- oh, wait, what was it? There- anyway, there have been a few protagonists lately where they don't even-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, just, uh, it's just, it's just interesting in that obviously a writer came to that property and they were like, hm, so Agent 47 has no emotions, and he's really good at killing people, and that's it. And you want him to be the protagonist?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But anyway, we were discussing various, various, like, scenarios that take place in the Hitman game, and kinda bummed that it didn't seem like any of those were gonna be in the movie. No. There's the Heaven and Hell Club that you were, you were talking about.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] One of the, uh, one of the things we were discussing is that the Hitman games have a really cool tone.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What about, I mean, wouldn't I?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Get close to the line of maybe perjuring his- himself.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, the other day I said, I said, Sy, we were going over his calendar and things he's got coming up and I said, your birthday's coming up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What kind of birthday do you want? Poker? No, no, no. Let's get a bunch of, a bunch of people. We'll have a huge poker tournament. He said, no.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I said, let's have some bands come in, we'll cook crawfish, invite everybody, you know. No. Cause he's already had.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, hey, we could pull it out. So anyway, uh, he ended up saying nope, cause he's already had all these birthdays, awesome birthdays that you can never top. I mean, y'all have been to some of those.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, he just said, what are we doing? Yeah. He said, I'm, I want to invite 10 people to come over and play poker.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I said, do you want us to have something good to eat? Nope.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, that's right. Sy's point is prove it. And you didn't. I understand that. Now I think he's guilty.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You can definitely tell when you miss a day and you don't drink it, uh, some time goes by, you're craving to go back and drink your agey one.