[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] People then, uh, started imagining what happens if other characters put on the Super Crown, uh, leading quickly to Rule 63, which is one of, similar to Rule 34, is a pretty commonly sourced rule. Internet adages states for every fictional character there exists an opposite gender counterpart. That's true. It is a notable tenet of the anonymously written rules of the internet. Next rules 1 and 2 and 34.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Mario are jilted by Peach, uh, Bowser decides to put on the mushroom cap, and then they have a fun time together, as Mario and Peach yet. So, but Mario's fucking Bowser there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So people have pointed out that Bowsette is not the correct mishmash of names. Oh no, it would be Bows-eech. It should be like, Pouser or Beach. Yeah. Uhm, but whatever man, Peach Head is cute.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, exactly. But this is the first depiction, as far as I can tell from my internet drilling, of the first depiction of peach ad as we have for now. A, uh, a harder, thicker, more dangerous peach.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, and I do, I do like being there for the moment that the spark falls on the thirst pile of the internet. Because clearly there was a lot of desire for a thick angry princess. How is that not a thing already?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's a good question. Baby Mario is Mario from the past. But appears alongside Mario in non-canonical adventures such as Mario Kart.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm gonna say it's them from the past, whereas Bowser Jr. is Bowser's child.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, yeah, is it retroactive? It goes away? Is that what we're saying? Would your frozen cum turn into eggs the second you put the head on?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What if you jerk off through a portal from portal? It could just be sterile.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, they make, they add Mario mustaches to whatever you throw them on.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know, I'm fascinated with this because I feel like, yeaah, that's pretty shiny.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, monster girls have been in vogue in anime circles for a while. Your monster is a maze, your dragon maze. Uh, this seems to be riding on the back of that. Plus, I also really like the celebration of a character that's typically demure and powerless being turned into somebody that's physically imposing and like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] As often depicted as like using Mario as a toy and stuff like that. I don't know. I like it. It's an inversion of more than just the physicality of it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh my god, can you throw it over? There's a, yeah, King Boo. There's also the Boo Hemathe. I love boos.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I haven't seen a whole lot of overtly sexual bouettes unless you consider that sexual. I mean, she's got kind of a tongue thing going on there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, and then yeaah, there was a dry bones, uh, dry bonesette. Not for me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, oh, Jesus. Well, yeaah, I guess there's Chain Chompette. It's cool. Not quite what I was looking for, but.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Be real careful here. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, we're good, we're good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, but yeaah, it's uh, so it's, certainly Bowsette has been the runaway star. Uh, but there's been other, there's been other splinter off, cross peaches. But yes, it's uh, boy it's great to know that


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In a given weekend, everyone is very happily and very furiously masturbating all at the same time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Only tangentially related, but speaking of Pokemon, it was fun to... Fun is maybe the wrong word, but...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There was definitely a point where I could tell a whole generation had just aged up into having, like, sexual urges. Because all the characters' Pokemon started flooding every porn website.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, there are a few. The motherly ones, typically.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, there's a lot of scientists with a lot of like radar dishes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Maybe, maybe if we become women, we can solve this mystery. Ah, they still can't.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, but yeaah, we'll just leave that, we'll leave that going for the delight of... Please. ...of all you guys. Please do. And, and ladies, this, Bowsette can be celebrated by the world.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But you know what else can be celebrated by the world? Proper bathroom hygiene.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, so Dollar Shave Club, the thing that I always have fun when they run an ad with us is just the value of the starter pack itself. It's five dollars for an executive handle. It's metal, feels cool. Five, or sorry, for the razor packs, uh, you get a...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You get a starter kit that has, uh, one wipe Charlie's in it, which are mint flavored, I say flavored, mint scented ass wipes, which are wonderful. Just perk you up right downstairs where it's all balmy and cracked and sweaty and red and just, it's just like a desert. No, you want to wash all that away with a wonderful ass wipe.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, they also come with some body wash and a couple of other products, but it's a great, it's a great starter kit, especially if you haven't really experimented in the bathroom, not in about that sort of way, although certainly I'm sure you could use some of their products for that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But moreover like, I don't know, personally I was just stuck on I'm gonna buy the cheapest soap and the cheapest shampoo I can buy and that's it. Because looking good is stupid. And enjoying like nice smelling things is dumb, because I'm a dude and we don't do that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The older I get I'm like, man that's, that's dumb. Why would I not want to smell something nice when I'm in the shower?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Make, squeeze every last drop out of every minute. Uh, and you can do that with Amber Lavender Body Wash from Dollar Shave Club.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So you can get that now at dollarshaveclub.com slash dude, uh, so that's just five dollars. After the starter set, uh, they say the products ship at regular price, which means you can get a, uh, basically a cartridge of razors every month for nine bucks, which is way cheaper than, uh, getting them from a store.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, but once more, that's dollarshaveclub.com slash dude for the starter pack, and then, uh, refills can ship every month for just nine dollars. So, thank you Dollar Shave Club for the sponsorship. Once more, dollarshaveclub.com slash dude, five bucks for starter kit. It is the best combination of bathroom products you'll get at that price. Uh, thank you Dollar Shave Club. Alright, now there's a lot of people who are going to be needing, uh, cheap bathroom, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cleaners, because they're out of a job. Yeah, Telltale is fucked up. That was bad. Real bad. Uhm, so, I guess real quick, because this kinda bizarrely, I would say bizarrely, hit a lot of people by surprise.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, so here's, here's the, the beats, uh, that I can see that sort of led to this. In February 2017, Lionsgate substantially invests in Telltale. The rumored figure was around 40 million. And as a result of that, Lionsgate CEO John Feldheimer, Feldheimer? I'm not sure how to say his name, got on Telltale's board of directors.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, so this was in the middle of a pretty long stretch of a particular CEO, Kevin Bruner.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Forced out, asked to leave, quietly resigned to CEO, and returned to that, to the co-founder Dan Connors, who was CEO of the company from its founding up to 2015.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes, came back. Uh, for a while. Uhm, because he'd left the role before, came back to run it. In September 2017, Telltale hired an ex-Zynga executive, Pete Hawley. Howley? H-A-W-L-E-Y. As new CEO. A month after that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] November 2017, they have a 25% cut in workforce. Wow. 90 jobs.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes, that was all in 2017. They got a huge inflush for cash. Right after that, got rid of the current CEO, hired a new CEO from Zynga. For a while, Zynga executives were kind of like vanity hires when Zynga was big, and then Zynga kind of tapered off and got a bad reputation, so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This isn't really in that timetable where hiring Pete Holly would have been like a, a move. A lot of Zynga executives went to startups that wanted to get acquired. That was a weird thing for a while.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, so a month after Holly comes on, uh, they cut a lot of the workforce.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] March 2018, uh, a verge, uh, expose goes up, basically talking about how bad working conditions are at Telltale.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, a lot of, a lot of it is negative things about Kevin Bruner, the CEO that was working before, uh, about, about the toxicity of the workplace, how Telltale


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Didn't survive or didn't deal with the transition between a small, uh, small, agile, independent game developer to a huge sprawling game developer with multiple projects. Didn't really survive that all that well. Bizarrely, uh, honestly,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Not that I identified with it completely, but I did see things that were kind of similar in the way that Rooster Teeth went from a small independent company and is now huge in as many departments as you're saying. Uhm, but that doesn't mean that Rooster Teeth's gonna shutter tomorrow or anything like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So 2018, uh, there's a huge expose about how bad things are at Telltale.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oddly enough, this E3, let's see here, they announced a couple of things.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then there was one other thing, they announced story modes coming to Netflix.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They announced that with Netflix too, so they had all these great announcements about all their properties, uh, and then, about last week I think, just poof.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, a bunch of telltale people are like, well, I don't have a job anymore. The company's been pared down to 25 roles. And they had, what, 300? Yeah, something like that. 250 people got laid off.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, just, just with no severance, uh, no warning. So weird.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah, so let's see here, uh, so yea, Bruce, you, it does seem out of the blue.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But, there's an article that, where was it?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There was an article that basically pinned it on what the, like a huge pullout of investment money. I read that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That Telltale was in the process of developing some product with them. It wasn't developing like they wanted. Lionsgate pulled all their funding. And that was it. They didn't have enough revenue to keep going.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] One of the articles did touch on that, uh, briefly. So the Verge article that came out last March was largely talking about, I can't, I can't see my cursor. Where are you? There you are.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But this lays a lot of that particular meddling at the feet of the interim, well interim, he was there for a while. Kevin Bruner, who was a programmer.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then stepped up in the role of CEO, uh, it's just down there, it's just words, but essentially talked about how he had this weird relationship with, uh, credit and creative ownership. So he would come in, like, ask for a few changes to be made and then bail out because I guess he kind of,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] People described him as wanting to be a creative auteur basically, like a Kojima type. Where you can just whirl in and like make all these whirling changes that are all like credited to his genius. They talked about how he would like mandate himself be in every interview with other people.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Man, wild. That's so sad. It is. Cause, uh, I mean...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't speak for you, but I know that, individually, we've probably all been in positions where, due to our youth and excitement over a particular subject matter, we've worked far longer and harder and on paid hours and all this stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just to get an opportunity, so I can empathize thoroughly with being taken advantage of in that regard. Uhm, yeaah, as a result, GameWorkers Unite


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Put out a pretty stiff statement on it. I'll read a brief excerpt, but.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We know that the management disregards their workers.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's a, there's a brief bit further down that I really, I really appreciated. They write, uh, to tell tales fans and players.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Learn to see the difference between the companies and the workers who make the games.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] See through the lies created by upper management and know that the workers are being exploited and disregarded.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We are as upset about our games being cancelled as you are. Direct your anger at the executives grinding our medium into the ground for profit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, cause there are people who are bummed out about walking dead, not getting finished.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Some people are furious. I try to shy away from characterizing an entire group by the loudest people. Some people are sociopathically angry. Like asking the developers to come in and finish it for free because they should love Walking Dead that much.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, there is a class-section lawsuit, uh, on behalf of the workers that's already been filed. Uh-huh. So this was posted by Polygon this morning.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, the complaint filed Monday in a federal court in San Francisco as a class action lawsuit submitted by Verney Roberts on behalf of himself and his fellow laid off workers.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In the complaint, Roberts says Telltale, which is based in the San Francisco suburb of San Rafael, California,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The Act defines a mass layoff as a reduction of 50 or more employees within a 30 day period.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, they made a, had a funding agreement with Lionsgate. Lionsgate was like, nah. And then Tales was like, we have a contract. And they're like, what are you going to do? Sue us with near no money? See you in court, asshole.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In San Rafael. He'd burn his CEO cred if he, if he, like, if he went out with that info, like, he's probably out clean.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The new CEO they brought in... Dan Connors? No, that's the older one. Oh, the other guy. The Zynga guy. He actually seems to be, like a lot of internal reports said that things were improving under his, like he didn't interfere as much, didn't micromanage as much.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Clearly didn't have much of an eye for the long term, though. I mean, maybe at that point there was nothing you could do. But I don't know, I feel like the aggressive announcement of projects at E3, given the state the company was in, also implies a lot of desperation, now in retrospect.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The gamers aren't the people who just wander into Walmart and buy a game. No they're not. Like without any information. No they're not. When you get to be that size, the enthusiast market is nice, and in a way they're kind of an early warning system for what the mass market will do. Yea.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But it doesn't really matter. So if, if, like, FIFA Club is breaking in billions of dollars a year,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The incentive, like, one angry dude on a forum is not gonna push against that weight.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In the Verge article from March this year.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've had some instances of Rooster Teeth like that where people are just used to just...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Going off the cuff and talking with each other. We're growing. But then you get on a project with like 10 members and they're all kinda saying this weird game of telephone to get everyone on the same page.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sometimes ticketing systems are useful and needed and it seems very cold and sterile, but...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it's, eh, there's certain things that struck a chord of like, yeah, you kind of have to change the way you do things once a number, like once you get a mass of people, you're not allowed to just hang out in a room and drink beer and just do whatever anymore.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A lot of garters, god bless garter belts. Anyway, uh, speaking of, speaking of Belzat, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If this isn't working for you, you might want to look into HIMS, who's sponsoring this podcast. So HIMS is a telemedicine service that offers, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Products for men, namely in the form of hair loss prevention or erectile dysfunction.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, now before I get into it, bit of a disclaimer that I like to make considering that a lot of the members of our audience, uh, have had issues with the way HIMSS is presented. Uh, none of us here would recommend that you circumvent your doctor or any other norms of healthcare to abuse any kind of medication.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, if you have an issue with erectile dysfunction or with hair loss, then look into this product, but certainly don't pursue it if you don't need this medication or not experiencing any of these symptoms, and even if you are.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, you should certainly do what makes you the most comfortable and most healthy. And a lot of the times that is having a referral with your doctor that you already have a relationship with. Uh, not a lot of us have that in America, but if you do, certainly check with them, consult with them, heed their advice.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Provides a telemedicine service to, uh, diagnose erectile dysfunction. Essentially, if you go on the website, you follow the questionnaire. It asks you, uh, some basic questions about your health, the symptoms you've been experiencing. It makes you, uh, swear to a couple of things, namely, having your blood pressure taken in the last month and having an in-person visit with your doctor in the last year.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Excuse me, hems will connect you with real doctors who can issue real prescriptions.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Precisely for a generic version of a drug that starts with a V, uh, that just went generic, so it's a lot more affordable now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But yes, you can talk to a real doctor. They will field any questions you have. They'll make sure that your, uh, prescription is healthy and that you respond to it well.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And uh, they say it's hard made easy. Uh, say hello to your little friend.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, I can try hems for a month, uh, for just five dollars. Get you started for five dollars while supplies last. See website for full details. Uh, that's at 4hems.com slash sup. That's F-O-R-H-I-M-S dot com slash sup. Uh, thank you hems for the sponsorship. And uh, it gives a new meaning to dude sup. That was always there though. Gross.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But yes, if, if Balzat is ready to go, will you be ready?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I like all those, I am a huge fan of ads for erectile dysfunction that I pretty much only see if I'm in a bar, they're showing like a baseball game. Because that's only for old dudes. But typically the implication is that


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The one time every three months your wife of 40 years actually wants to have sex with you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You better be there and ready to go. So it's like, just always have like a little pill or a little case you just carry around in your wallet. Absolutely. If she makes eye contact with you, yeah, you're just like, it's time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, alright, we got a real, we got a real Whopper. So we, we've, oh, we've just had fun topics like people losing their entire livelihoods.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, but now we got something that's really hot. Hit that, hit that hot topic. We got a hot one. I think I know what this is. I read this last night. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You don't like it? Alright, so there was a... Okay, so this one is a...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm trying to decide how flippant to be because I'm sure someone is already bashing out, it's not about that!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh. So, in Total War, sorry, we gotta, we gotta, yeah, appreciate that. She was up earlier. I know! See, there's Tiny Little Mario, though. See? It's like-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I'm gonna leave with that one. That's a fair trade. Can you throw us back to, sorry, away from Peachette for a little bit. She's just, she's doing that, it's cute.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I even pointed. That was the most rude thing. Ah, so, uh, so there was this, oh boy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Total War, uh, got review bombed on Steam because some very conspiratorial people.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] One went so far to insist that quote, over 50% of their generals were women and after the screenshot is proof, here you are with these just


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So then this got turned, like it went through the, it went through the angry, angry man YouTube of people saying that like, so, and sadly what didn't help but should have solved the problem is that, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The, I think the community manager, uh, posted a really well reasoned article. It was, it was, I, I read it, and it was really well reasoned. Yeah. So, uh, just as, just to kind of summarize it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Total War games are historically authentic, not historically accurate. If having female units upsets you,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Of that much, then you can either mod them out or just not play. People saying they won't buy the game because there are too many women in it is fine with us. If that's their reason, we'd rather they didn't play anyway.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Naturally, this gets taken and turned into a, the developers don't want you to play their game. Like, they just take the one half of it. Well, it's, I think...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You can do that, but we don't really want you around here because that's a weird reaction to have. It's kind of what it goes down to, but people lose all the qualifications.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Exactly, yea. So yea, there's a YouTube Video Creative Assembly, don't want you to play their games, uh, little SIC in brackets there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, one of your gamer, of course, Daily Stormer got in on the action, because boy, that's a great narrative. So then the problem is somebody actually, like, tested it. Somebody tested the game.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They found that generation rates were 65% male, 35% female, which means birth rates were even skewed male.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because, because it, and I kind of saw this developing, and I was like, are we really doing this again?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] People would argue, people have linked a couple of things, uh, in that in the past, uh, game communities have successfully


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Fueled, uh, anger about certain topics and forced a response in some kind of way.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, so now people have stated that that is only empowering to the people who drive these sorts of things. The people who can actually organize and put out a narrative that is, that is destructive whatever. Anyway, they issued a response.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They just could say there have been no changes to the recruitable female general spawn rates, but with the addition of the family tree feature and the new gameplay options it brings, playable factions may gain more female family members via marriage.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Basically just breaking all of this down in the end, we have no plans to patch this out or remove this feature from the game.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Basically just saying you guys are kind, like nothing changed. Nothing changed.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A lot of people suspect that there is a conscious and even orchestrated attempt to guide the path of pop culture to be more inclusive and that that guidance is an unwanted effect upon


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The media that certain groups have enjoyed in its current state for a long time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's just weird. So you're driving down an interesting, uh, an interesting thought path that, in my opinion, is that


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Other people play Total War. And that's like a disquieting thought.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause, cause yeaah, that is, that is, I would guess a pretty...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't want to speak for the whole group though. No, no, no. But yea, I think, I think that is a big card, at least it has, it has been personally for me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] To make it more abstract in terms of like feeling like you're not special anymore, I think it's more like maybe there's a sandwich shop you go to and there's a sandwich you really really like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, and maybe it's like, it's the exact amount of salt you like or whatever. Then you go in and it's different and you say why and they're like, well, not a lot of people like this sandwich. So we decided to mix it up a little bit, see if more people like it. And you look around and everyone's loving this new sandwich and like, but.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I could see a lot of just concern about that in general. I think a lot of people are.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Justifiably is maybe not the right word, but I think that


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That my demographic is no longer the target for all of this, when it used to be. Uh, and luckily I'm old enough to have that not bother me. But if I were young and hyper passionate about games still, I might have a strong opinion about it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I think it's more, uh, Jesus Christ, yeaah. I think, I think more fundamentally it's like a lot of games were about challenge, difficulty, input complexity, and, you know, basic things like saving women. Uhm, then you got stuff like The Sims or Nintendogs, which, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Stereotypically lean more feminine, but are typically also not about standard video game things. And those...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I can't remember when it hit me, but I think it was playing Soul Calibur. I think it was like four is when the proportions started getting really crazy in Soul Calibur.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So it's basically just, that's when I was like, well, okay, maybe it's, I mean, it kind of is still a masculine slant, but everything is overblown.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cuz Mitsurugi is fucking shredding out of his cool katanagi. Oh man.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, I would say Final Fantasy is a little more feminine leaning in general. Just cause it's got pretty music and sparkles. Love. Pretty boys and love, yea. And women actually doing things and saying things.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause Sean's a little asshole. He's like, he's the Dan of Street Fighter III. He's kinda jacked though.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is, this is, uh, this is just dudes in a basement looking at magazines. Omar, can you throw it to the Google Image Search page, please? I am sure this is all work safe.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So this is the thing, like, I actually really like Laura, I like her moveset. I'm not sure that I can handle...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Who get, get the brow sweats. I know, I know that, I know that uh, what was it? Naked Snake. Did it for a lot of ladies. I don't know where I'm going with this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It puts me in headlock. Good enough. Yeah, Mars, Venus. It's crazy out there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Anyway, don't get mad at Total War. Just cause ladies can lead armies now. Or do. Whatever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's true. Especially like Creative Assembly. Those are one of the like old time companies that has lived for a very long time putting out great products for a pretty small market.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] To target them just because some lady JPEG starts showing up in your game seems really unfair.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Also got a shirt, this is an XL box, cause that's probably the most common size. Uh, that looks pretty cool.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, it's the printer from Office Space. It's all smashed up, so, yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The theme is mayhem. Life gets messy sometimes, especially if you're making a mess. Some of our favorite characters and iconic moments have something in common. Total mayhem wreak havoc responsibly with this collection of exclusive gear.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So they say there's a t-shirt guaranteed in every crate, so if you need to deck out your closet with a variety of, uh, nerd logos and stuff like that, this is a good place to start. Uh, they say it also packs $60 of value into each crate for less than $30 a month.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You can't lose with all that gear. Uh, they also say the crates will sell out every month. Uh, you only have until September 27th at 9pm to guarantee your order or this crate will be gone forever. So if you want to get on that train, go to loopcrate.com slash dude. It's just like free Christmas every month. Free goodies.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're this little guy. Wanted a great accent for a desk. That's cool. Now that's staring at you while you're flicking through your...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Peachette collection. Yes, your pictures of Geralt. Uh, you can, he's in that tub, man. He's healed up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You can subscribe by going to lootcrate.com slash dude, uh, to get an enter our code dude to save an exclusive 15% off your subscription. Much more, that's lootcrate.com slash dude and use code dude for 15% off. Uh, thank you lootcrate for the sponsorship. I hope we get more. I always like opening, I like opening trinkets.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You can see it. It's, I mean, it's got like-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know if any of them involve purchasing body parts, but I don't know, man.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So you buy a lady who has a butt plug inserted so you can appraise it and look at it and appreciate it?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, there's sort of an invisible bubble of privacy that follows you even when you're in public in Japan it seems. It's just part of the culture. No one's gonna get into your business and ask you what you're doing even if you're doing something that's pretty creepy and weird. Like, you know, taking out a


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A little spy glass, I'm looking directly at a butt plug to make sure it's inserted properly.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know, there's something refreshing about that, about the thorough destigmatization of sex in Japan. It probably goes a little too far sometimes, but.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Also, spiders have, or ants have nests. So would you just throw the spiders on the nest and have them go at it? Well, the nests are in a wall. I can't get to the nests.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In Texas, we have fire ant hills, which are, you know, like maybe six inches tall. But if you step in one, holy fuck. Those are terrible. Texas ants are


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Imagine what it's like for them. I like to- I like to imagine what-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What our stupid lizard brains can't comprehend that goes on around us all the time. Maybe it's just on a different time scale.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think we think other things are dumb that are actually more orchestrated than we have the mind space to comprehend. Like a mechanical monster buzzing its blades into our homes. Sounds like you're coming up with a religion there, Lawrence.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I couldn't, I couldn't get myself down there to do it. That's good, I'm glad. That means you're not a sociopath. I was on the verge of embracing the it's for their own good mentality of like, I'll teach them how to live basically. So Thanos.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I do like to imagine that there is some super race that has evolved out of making the cornerstone of all their life decisions sex related.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's really cool. I've been, there were two octopus related stories recently.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There was one, there was like a snorkel diver who made friends with an octopus that she named Egbert. And like would go back and meet Egbert every day and started like bringing it food. But then would leave it in a jar and it would figure out how to unscrew the jar.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And how rad they are. Anyway, let's harden that real quick. Gotta, gotta wrap her up before we move on. I vote for Octopi. Alright. Same.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Man, Sadly Palsad is not, not a, not, it's too current. That's way too current.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, brief aside while we get this, all the videos loaded up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Have you guys ever challenged yourself to come as quickly as possible?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I always thought, so you know how they have those like warming up in the microwave.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But if you're, if you're facing the couch, you can't see what's on TV. Oh, you put a mirror. Well, that's the thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah exactly, and plus I can catch up on the story in like 30 second chunks.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Way back, or rather, we kind of came in on the end of a, end of an era for Zemo, Niche Frog. Zemo, yea. Has been doing the Wednesday Frog for an entire year.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And all those treatments then got packaged into a 22 minute 30 second, uh, extravaganza of Wednesday Frog.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh yeaah, so yeaah, he also establishes his own continuity, he's got his own like, particular Wednesday Frogs, that's Hacker Frog.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So yeaah, uh, if you have 22 minutes to wonder what you're doing in this world.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The, uh, the 52 week, uh, Wednesday frog is a fantastic video.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah. Put it all together. It kind of starts out with being like the, uh, the history of our world. So it starts out with Wednesday Frog, like coming out of Primordial Ooze, uh, goes through Egypt and the Renaissance, Wednesday Frog learns how to paint, uh, yeaah. So there's, there's the initial cells separating to create Wednesday Frog, uh, and then it just kind of goes all over the place.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A lot of different treatments. Oh yea, the other aspect is that, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, dude did it for an entire year and just kinda posted it to Reddit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So yeaah, it's gonna be, gonna be some soft lobs against, against, uh, Zemo Nitroam for a while now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So this is going up against RealSchoolAG, who by the banner has been hot on this, uh, automaton? Automaton?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Doing a whole lot, yeaah, they're pretty big in Japan. A whole lot of musical covers.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes, and I guess in the grand tradition of cat keyboard, this is a wonderful instrument that is being used to great effect.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, let's see here. All-star, down under, oh shit, down under.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And just, just so the rest of the votes know, Parcelmuse says, this is too mainstream, the sort of thing your cousin shares on Facebook, not Hardnet. Whoa!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, that's what I'm doing right now. I mean, I think he's taking a break because he was cranking those out. Probably while he was in college. Every week for a year, yeaah. Uhm, Alana, who are you voting for?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's the- I hate that song. It's the song we all wanna hear? Man, do I hate that song. Uh, Bruce, who are you voting for?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This channel has taken it through it's uh, wonderful,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wonderful production values. Uh, wasn't the point of finding stuff that was weird and unique but not known? No. Never said that. Never one. Uh, occasionally that is, there is an intersection there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, I mean there are times when yeaah, people will send like, Facebook meme stuff. That's, that's too easy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It is, it is an instance in which you can view the wonderful diversity of the human race through the internet.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That the internet has allowed people to either share what they're passionate about with other people, uh, communities that wouldn't exist without the internet.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, Russian Gadget Cult, what have you. So yes, I feel like a lot of people enjoying covers of that music wouldn't exist without the internet. It's like when that man kissed the corpse of his grandma.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That was the, that was the hardest net of all I think. It was, I would agree. Man.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Don't worry about it. It was great because RTX got to show it to a whole live room of people that had listened to the podcast but never seen it before. So that was fun. Sorry about that, if you were still carrying the scars from RTX.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Omar's on it. Thank you, Omar. Finally, a peach for the rest of us, am I right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah. Mario's dick gets big when he eats a mushroom. Yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, thanks for listening to this week's podcast. Hope it was illuminating. Uh, please go google image search Bowsette. Have yourself a nice warm little evening.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Got any announcements? Because Theater Month Season 2 is premiered? Mhm. Go check that out, that's for first members.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah. Yes, I think, yeaah, that definitely pairs mentioning, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We don't, we try not to like directly ask you guys to do too much, like, uh, some people do that a lot. Oh, go do this, go do that, spend money on this. We try to shy away from that because we figure if we're going to offer you a good thing, you'll, you'll find it. Uh, that's kind of our rationale usually. And yeah, it was really nice of you guys because we did ask and you guys turned out. It was, it was crazy. They did.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But no, it's completely the opposite. I'm honestly really floored by the support that you guys have shown, so thank you for that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So yeaah, thank you guys, uh, thank you for watching, listening, however you're consuming this podcast, thank you for, uh, being part of our productions, and hopefully we get to do a lot more cool stuff in the future. My eyes are burning, I'm so emotional.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They had pre-orders for online only content before anyone had even seen what Red Dead Online looked like as well. Oh really? Yeah. I don't remember that. There was stuff that would give you stat boosts. Oh yea yea yea. Oh I don't like that at all. For online that were already pre-orderable.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think that might have even been a pre-order bonus. I know there's like a bubble that does more damage. There's some horse stuff. There's some boots that make you run faster or something like that. That's boots of flight!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hey, you played Dragon Stugman Dr. Risen. Good job.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Are you gonna play it? Oh no. Wow, your Peter Molyneux is very good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They'll really shred Dead 2 and have us all buy it again anyway.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What do you want a conversation between him and Mark Cerny sounds like?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Let's talk about Red Dead. She has that too. Yea, she absolutely has a blue crystal.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm starting to feel like for the AAA industry that beta tests and beta weeks are sure to test servers, but mostly marketing. I honestly think like we're doing a beta for a week is really just to get all the content creation.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And now anime's slightly more cool and far more accessible, that everyone's like, finally gonna watch Evangelion!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I might rewatch it. I'm trying to get- It's also going with, uh, the end as well, so they're adding the movie in too.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So for me and whoever else listening doesn't know what this is, what does that mean?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There are a lot of trailers that show the full plot, but I don't need to see that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But that's why I like watching Marvel trailers now, cause they're all bullshit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When you're in the cinema, the counter to what you would say is that you go in knowing that you're going to see trailers. If you don't want to see them, go in later.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, some of the combat is different. They're mechanically different. It's, it is still Ultimate Smash Bros and then it is all of them in one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean that is pretty fucked up. I don't think that's what that's about. Alright.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do we think that the guy who's writing this is or is not circumcised?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I have a Rooster Teeth onesie that's very nice. Yeaah. I wonder if it's the same thing. Maybe. It's just red and white.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're worried about that not being safe for work here, Adam.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They tweeted, they tweeted just something related to Cyber Monday. I assumed that there would be news.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Then you can learn about scuttlebug transportation, scuttlebug raising, hyper speed walking and parallel universes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It is. Yeaah. And it's a fighting game which I can't play very well because of my wrists. Uh oh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I just need breaks in between. Okay. There's plenty of breaks.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I have a Jigglypuff shirt I can wear. I'll pull that out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're, they're mainstream. I, I expect that at a certain point that will stop being a thing. Instead of games being like an identity thing,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Ah, guys, we have a special event for you. What you're about to watch or listen to is the Dude Soup Live podcast we did at RTX. I just wanted to make that aware and also we're inserting a couple of ad reads which should make it


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Especially easier for you if you like skipping them. Anyway, this podcast is brought to you by Udemy and Mack Weldon. You can go to u-d-e dot my slash dude right now to get 90% off when you sign up for Udemy classes. And you can also get 20% off your entire Mack Weldon order at MackWeldon.com using our promo code SUP. Uh, thank you, uh, enjoy the show.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I made a little bracket out of, uh, just basically informally combed through a bunch of show notes and stuff and picked out the eight hardest netters from, boy I shouldn't say it like that, uh, from the, uh, Man, everything kinda plugs back in. Hold on.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And the good thing is, you guys can vote. So...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That is funny. There we go. Got it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, so yeaah, eventually I'll, I'll show some clips, we'll go down memory lane a little bit, and then, uh, these, my fine panelists will vote, uh, and then, you guys will be able to vote too, because I'll put up a straw poll link, uh, hopefully it'll be visible, if not, I'll just have a big notepad dock or whatever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I should commission a plaque or something, huh? Yeah. Yeah, put it up on the walls? That's a good idea. Well, we can start. Uh, so the first one...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I tried to pair stuff that's like kinda creepy and weird with something pure and wholesome. So this is, as much as it is also determining the most intense thing on the internet, it's also kind of a sociological study in how, how uh, how into weird stuff people are. So to start off, sorry?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, so, this is a classic. It was one of the ones we had the longest runs on. This is, uh, Big Knee Lover.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah. He- Big Knee Lover is getting a little better. I would agree.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're a lot shinier than they used to be, which I guess there's more fluid collecting in there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, well, that's a, that's an introduction and then the other, the competitor, this is in the first bracket by the way, so they will be moving on, this is a...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Single elimination, uh, octo- quarter funnels. There we go. So the other one is the Flopitron.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's a lot of old computer hardware that is plugged in and sequenced to play music, and it is phenomenal how accurate it is. Uh, and this is, this is sort of a hybrid video of this gentleman testing and building the Flopitron.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] She's actually not underwater though. Like she looks like a fish lady, but she's, she's never swims in the game. I don't know what to tell ya. Alright. Alright. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's such a iron-clad perfect system, I don't understand what could have gone wrong. Alright.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's just too cool. Alright. Oh god. Uh, Elise, who do you think's netting harder?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Plop, it runs up by two. Uh, this, this table can lock it down, by the way. They can make your vote irrelevant. Just so you know, who you should be mad at, not me. Uh-uh. But that said, Adam...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] More, more interesting. I'll do that next time. Alright, well, uh, I've got the results here from the audience.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Turncoats. Don't need people seeing my bookmarks. Can't lift a script all the way. Alright, well, get out of here, big knee lover.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's interesting. Oh, they're all interesting, whatever. Uh, so, there was a, I found this fascinating. Uh, there's a gentleman by the name of Francis G. Johnson. And he has, all of his videos, a lot of them either have the resolution of the video or hit HD in the lower right in the title.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, uh, a fascinating gentleman, an entrepreneur it seems, a fan of basketball, and also like fights dinosaurs in parking lots, uh, and then they'll just cut to like a full page of text about, uh, like a help book that I guess he wrote? Uhm, a lot of weird zooms in slow motion.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] 4DP, sorry Francis. What's the point?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, yeaah. You won't be currying any favors with me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's how, that's how you make it on YouTube. You gotta say whether or not you saw that. Actually hold on a minute. I am so confused. Who saw that live? Turn in for the live feed, yeah boy. Headquarters looking comfy as hell.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Who, uh, who can challenge this man? Yeah, who? Uh, only, only a tale of pure love, connectedness.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So not only did he have an online ceremony where he married his digital anime wife, but he also wrote a script that would pull avatars from a forum thread and have them sitting in the pews. So in addition to him marrying an anime girl, he also invited all of his internet friends, a lot of whom are also pictures of anime girls.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] To witness and celebrate this, this matrimony.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, let me bring up that old, uh, straw poll you were earlier.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, that is the new URL. Hopefully the numbers are easy to punch in. So feel free to vote on which one of these


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Thank you, I should have established that, so yeaah. I'm sorry. Uh, so we, there was a segment on, uh, YouTube called Hard Netten. One of the things that I love, being an odd, bizarre person, is seeing the weirder parts of humanity expressed honestly and shared with other people who are also weird, because


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We all have our weird things, right? And part of entering society and having a job and being around people and not getting thrown in jail is learning how to bottle those up. Uh, but I find it, I find it,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And that it's people like putting their weirdness out onto the internet and not being judged for it or at least like just doing their thing and hopefully through that they find connections to other people that are also weird.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, so that's the idea. It's celebrating the weird quirkiness of internet culture and the ways that that lets us see humanity through a different lens. Uh, and also just like, just weird shit, man. Uh, so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, so, let's uh, let's get our votes from the table. Uh, audience, uh, please continue to vote. We'll start with Bruce. Who do you think is netting harder between G. Johnson and the anime wedding?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, being on the internet is kind of like being in international waters.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And now, uh, the most dramatic vote will go to the audience. So you guys have all voted, you've had your say. And here's the result. Wait, what about James and Elise?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Turns out, you guys think the anime wedding is netting a little harder too. Which puts it over the top. Uh, but just for the record keeping, James, who would you vote for?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, hashtag death to Kokopa. I always cry at weddings. Hashtag Kokopa lives. And then rip the internet. Uh, thanks. Thanks out there. We'll bring Kokopa back one of these days. She was like $30. She was 25. Sorry.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, moving on to the next bracket, uh, uh, hello!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's me again to let you know that this podcast is sponsored by Udemy, which is an online academic resource with over 65,000 courses. That's a really big number, which means that no matter what topic you're interested in or maybe want to learn a new skill, Odds are Udemy will have something for you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, knowing me, it shouldn't be a big surprise that I've chosen to teach myself about cocktails. Uh, Paul Martin's teaching me all about it already, and I'm already really enjoying all the tools that are available through the instructional resources. So for instance,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, for each specific episode, and there are tons in this course, there's actually a Q&A section, so you can basically write little questions that you might have about the course, uh, when it starts off, Paul's teaching me about all the cocktail equipment, people leaving questions, hey, where can I find this? Where should I buy this? Where's a good, where's a good price? What's good quality? He would actually answer them all and get, point them directly to where to find that stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You can also, in individual episodes, bookmark specific points. So for me, if there's like a, like a cool peeling technique for a garnish or a recipe I know I want to reference later, I can just drop a hot bookmark on there and go right back to it later so I don't have to screen cap it or something like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They have asked us to set up a specific code to give to you guys, which gets you up to 90% off.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And you can get that by going to u-d-e dot my slash dude. And that's a pretty complicated URL, I get it. It's down in the description if you want to check it out. But again, that's 90% off class, uh, prices at u-d-e dot my slash dude. So thank you to Emmy for the sponsorship and for getting me pretty buzzed a couple nights. Alright, see you guys later. And bracket is sort of pun intended.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It'll go much faster once we get through the initial bracket because you'll all be aware of all the competitors at that point.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So this one is another, another classic from a couple years ago. It's pretty deep cut, cause I also kinda had a crush on this character back in the day, but...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There is a cult in Russia that worships Gadget Hack Wrench from Rescue Rangers. Her last name is Hack Wrench? I didn't know that before this, which is weird, but...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah, they get together and, oh boy, I'm afraid to click on that. Yeaah. Let me just whip that right over here real quick.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So yeaah, okay, here we go. Yeaah, it's not so bad.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cross the fingers. Okay, that's not so bad. That's not- that's fine! See, it's just people hanging out!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, you know, sharing what they enjoy. I don't remember her wearing that from the show. Or having like angel wings, or butterfly wings. I don't know man, you're playing a dangerous game. I'm so tense every time. It's pure. Yea, it's wholesome.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Aw, look at that, they're just... Who wouldn't want to be walking around the town, getting your groceries, and just see a nice picture of gadgets?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I got some fireworks. See, it's just people hanging out, having a good time, connecting with each other, talking about chipmunks and how cool they are. A little shrine. He said it was a cult!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, then. The standard blog ending clickbait. Got it. Okay. Alright, so that's competitor number one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then, here's a little dash of purity. This is the chaser. Uh, there is something glorious in this world called the cat piano.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Let's see here. That's a good one. Honestly, everyone loves that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Anything could be happening, really. Oh, there it is! That's a good one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Should not be invested. The uh, oh, country road.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And there you have it, ladies and gentlemen. Your two, your two fierce competitors in the third bracket.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, I'll, okay, I'm mixing it up every time. I'll source two votes from the table now. Ehh, no, let's throw it, ehh, give the audience some more time to vote. Alright, uh, let's start with Adam this time. Uh, Russian gadget cult or cat piano? Gadget, give us a gadget. Yeah, okay. That was fast.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well you're right, he's- he's using a tool to its fullest potential. That's- that's worth something, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, so let's hear from the audience real quick. You guys have thrown your votes down. And it turns out, the Russian gadget cult, far and away the audience's favorite.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That means we're looking at two to one in favor of the Russian gadget cult. Elise, who do you think is netting harder?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's her. She's, she's pure. Alright Bruce, uh, who do you think is netting harder?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well done. Well, that means that, uh, the Russian Gadget Cult advances in a score of three to two.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Nice, good start. Let's mute that. Alright, on to the final bracket. Uh, our last two competitors are going to be introduced soon. The first is, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] One would say that maybe you have to, if you're gonna be in a musical scene, maybe you need to be able to hear, but that didn't stop this man. That's not true. Wasn't Mozart deaf? You're thinking of Beethoven. Whatever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, we have here an artist of a different kind. This is DJ Def Joey.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So DJ Jeff, Jeff Joy is doing his thing. Wow, that's still really loud.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cat Piano really threw everything off. I mean he's a, he seems like a nice enough dude. Found some things in his backyard. Yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh my god, I just made some coffee and my stomach's already starting to turn a little bit. Oh man.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, thank you guys for enduring that because this is gonna, this is a mind cleanser here coming up. This is one of the most pure and lovable things that we've had on Hard Netting. It is a YouTube channel that goes by KissCactus. And this guy...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This guy has one of the best bits ever, where basically he just stands in front of things and screams not too shabby at it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Aw, come on. You missed it. You have to use your imagination. Yeah, hold on.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But he throws his back into it every time, which I really like, uh, hail hitting my car.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's basically nothing that's not too shabby, which I love. I-I would love to... Oh, an excavator, not a bulldozer. You learn and laugh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's going for a ride. Yeaah, he just gives us, he gives us the greatest look into his life and he also, uh, is another, another shout out to us.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright. So that's the new poll. Uh, feel free to vote. Let's uh, let's hear from our panel though. Ugh. Bruce, I feel like, I feel like I know where your chips might fall on this one. But, I'd still like to hear your vote.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, interesting, interesting. I appreciate the positivity. Elise, who would you be voting for?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's overcoming a lot of obstacles to both be a DJ and also make out with his dead grandma. Great grandma, excuse me. Alright, so that's a vote for DJ Death Joey? Yea, DJ Death Joey. Wow.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Again, with the brave votes, I'm impressed. Okay, well let's give the audience a little more time. I want to make sure that everyone has their say. I don't want to call out the lack of participation here. Uh, Adam, who are you leaning towards here?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I appreciate that. Alright, for maximum tension, let's see what the audience has to say. So in this vote, they are going with Kiss Cactus. Ohhh. I'm gonna say that's shocking.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Less and less people are voting each time. Yeah, we're losing people, it's alright. 15 comments though. This one's a little contentious. Oh, oh! Oh, hey, hey now. It's some real time results. Uh, so okay, so now it's tied up 2 to 2, which means, James, your vote is the ultimate...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, thank you. Alright, now we're down to the semi-finals. Which is, uh, the first round is the f- sorry?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, yeah, buff woman crushing fruit. I saw that one, but I cut it because, uh, you know, CG weight loss.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, uh, yeah, Dyson Show. A Dad Jokes guy. Yeah, there's been a lot of love and creativity celebrated on Dude Soup over the years. Uh, so I'm sorry, yeah, I couldn't represent them all, because this is already running way longer than I thought it would.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Thank you, thank you. Yeah, I ask everyone, I write them a letter, I use my calligraphy at the bottom, stamp it, seal it with wax, give it to my carrier pigeon.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Anyway, alright, so first up in the semi-finals, we've got the Flopitron versus the Anime Wedding. Let me start.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Africa, I like that. Where is it? There she is.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What, what are the wooing, what's the wooing for? Africa, I think. Okay. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, right? It's very romantic. Uh, it's moody. So there's the, there's the link. Uh, feel free to weigh in here. It's actually getting pretty tight here. Uh, okay, anime wedding, flop-a-tron, uh, we'll start with Bruce. What are you, who do you see, who are you voting for? Sergeant Hale! Alright.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What, what? Oh, so, wait, what? Oh, there it is, sorry. Thank you. Uh, hm, this is interesting. I want to give the audience a little more time, but I don't want to lock it in right away. Uh, at least who would you vote for here?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, turns out the Flopitron is an audience favorite too, but sadly that puts the vote at three to two. The anime wedding goes on to the finals.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That was Flopitron. There ya go. Yeah, that one's been showing up all the time. It's like, YouTube really likes Slow Mo Guys or something. Or, it turns out people do, cause it's awesome content. Do you guys see that explosion one?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hey, it's me Lawrence again to let you know this podcast is brought to you by Mack Weldon. Now they've sponsored our podcast a lot before. This isn't the first time you're hearing about them, but you're gonna hear about them again because they actually make a great product and I like plugging them. They make the most comfortable underwear, socks, shirts, undershirts, hoodies, and sweatpants.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You'll ever wear, uh, and I believe it. A lot of my, uh, weekend lounging around equipment has become Mack Weldon. From the underwear, to sweat shorts, to comfortable socks and comfortable shirts. They make great products for everyday living, and they have a pretty good price, so I'll skip to that right now. You can get 20% off by using our code DUDE at MackWeldon.com.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] On top of that, Mack Weldon actually has a pretty great offer for you guys. They say if you don't like your first pair, they will refund you, no questions asked, and you can still keep it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And the odds are you can't just do that over and over again to get free underwear, then we're probably going to keep tabs on that. But, you can do that, try it out, and if you like it, continue to get 20% off all their products with our promo code Dude. So once more, that's macwelllandon.com, promo code Dude. If you feel like your weekends aren't down enough, or you're not looking sharp enough when you're slumming it out on the weekend, check it out. macwelllandon.com, promo code Dude. Thanks guys, goodbye.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, second round of the semi-finals. We've got the Russian gadget cult versus Kiss Cactus. We're bringing those up again.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Some guy's like, I already know what this is. I know, I'm putting my vote in.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, this determines who goes up against the anime wedding in the finals. Uh, Elise, who would you vote for?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] She can repair your bicycle and your heart. Uh, Bruce, who were you voting for?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We'll determine who faces down the anime wedding.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I gotta make a straw poll real quick.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Again, sociological experiment. Uh, we've learned something. I don't know what it is, but...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, that, that relationship is probably gonna evaporate relatively quickly.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, we're running up on time right now, we got about five minutes left, uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'll let this go, and you know what, I decide, power to the people, whatever this vote is, by the time Bruce finishes reading this thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We'll be, uh, we'll be the winner, the ultimate winner of Hard Nuttin', and then I'll have to get a plaque from Kinkos or something.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, so Bruce is very good at reading. This is something that I've learned. Thank you. And I typically try to find the worst things on the internet and have him read them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, so, you guys might be familiar with this, it's gotta know your meme page, but, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There you go bros, this is a reddit post of somebody making a very logical and sound argument about fatherhood.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I got that, that cost like a dollar fifty at the print center. It was good, uh, what?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, uh, thank you Bruce for soldiering through that. Thank you audience for enduring this terrible shotgun of internet culture.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Lawrence, who's the winner? Yea, and let's have a final round of applause for our Ultimate Hard Netting Champion, Kiss Cactus! Oh!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That is truly not too shabby. Alright, thank you everybody. Thank you for coming. And, uh, I guess we'll see you on the internet in three days.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Unfortunately, Hufflepuff. Aw. Not by choice, but I've never done the test. By nature. But I just assume.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah, because it was in the description of the video, right? Yeaah. How did he do that?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Eared of late acceptance to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, you are a newly arrived 50-year student at Hogwarts that demonstrates a latent talent for magic with a unique ability to track and identify remnants of a potent ancient power.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So Warner Brothers, it makes sense that Avalanche Softworks, who had those suspect listings, could be behind this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I would love to play through 7 years at Hogwarts.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Some of the articles I was looking at were predicting 2020. Yeaah, I feel like that makes more sense.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think she had a web and then just continually is adding little like strands within that web. Yep. And filling it in and filling it in.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think like, especially when, you know, she speaks to some of the lineages of the families, I think she probably, you know, has that framework and some of that back story, but I do


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like you said, it's like hotly contested, people saying like, well no, JK has been planning this forever. I don't think.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, she's still doing that, right? With Nagini being a Korean lady. I think she's still expanding the universe, which is fine. I have no problem with that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's interesting because to me that doesn't just apply to someone making indie games. That applies to someone that spends 15 years playing hockey from the age of 4 to 17 to go try to play professionally. That applies


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] To someone that dedicates their life to being a graphic artist. And like, it's so weird because to me it just seems like


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That could apply to anything that you dedicate yourself to and maybe


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just in indie games he's finding this. I actually was speaking to somebody recently that develops games and had an opportunity once to interview at


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] At EA, and you know, I'm sure EA has its own like stigma to that company.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The point is, like, if you don't try, you will never know. And sometimes trying and requires risk. Uhm, it's uncomfortable.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I dunno, I'm kind of, maybe I'm just like a bleeding heart, but I'm sort of in the camp too of like, if you limit someone, you'll never know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is going to be hard. Yeaah. I think like being realistic. I think I'm a realist. And uhm.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's why I never pursued, like, arts, uh, in like post-secondary education.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because I didn't think it was a realist- Like I'm actually not the living-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Testimony to what this, uh, I am the living testimony to what this guy is saying. I didn't think it was a practical pursuit. Uhm, so who am I to speak?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I wish you no ill will ever, but comedically speaking you getting hit by a bus the day before this game comes out is the best outcome.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This man sounds like he hermits himself in a shack.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's what it sounds like in a security complex where he's like, no, mine should still, my art should still be prized as the superior art above this other form, but there's actually been a shift where that's not the case.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yellow chunks this morning and my ear hurts, but that might be.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Too soon. You know? It should be years from now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My dream is to be the Wet Bandits with me for Halloween, but not interested.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I forget which state it is, but there's a state now where if you're like a popular streamer, you can get on a registry.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, I said this to Bruce, I said, it's better, it's good because we were talking about moving it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And we couldn't, but ultimately it's best we play it the day it comes out so no one can practice and get good at it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, you and Bruce and James watching Shenmue the movie riffing on it in its entirety.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Why is it too short to give a shit? That's what the Neon said. Sugarplot had their period on it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, let me introduce, uh, so we're gonna be talking about Black Ops in addition to a bunch of other things. Uh, let me introduce my, I gathered together a panel of expert battle royalists. Uh, first of all we got Adam Skopvic, Kovic. Nice. All about those scopes. 2x, the 4x, the 8x. He loves the 8 cogs, this is this guy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, this podcast is brought to you by four sponsors, yes, four. Holy shit, they're rich! Yeah, because the attachment didn't attach correctly in a given week, so here we are, four sponsors.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, brought to you by Hinge, Blue Apron, Honey, and Stitch Fix. Hinge is a dating app that focuses on healthy relationships of all kinds. You can download Hinge today in the app store. You can also check out this week's menu and get your first three meals for free at blueapron.com slash soup.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You can get Honey for free at joinhoney.com slash dude.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And you get a 25% discount on all items in your Stitch Fix box if you keep them all at stitchfix.com slash dudesuit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, so I had what was called a mucocele, something dumb that happens in the human body. If you chomp your lip hard enough, uh, ducts in your lip will close, like scar tissue will lock them off, and then saliva gets caught in your lip. So there's just a fleshy bump that is really annoying and stupid.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Why didn't you look at it? Smell it. Because I did it before. This is the second time this has happened to me. Yeah, it sucked. Also like halfway through the room was getting really hot and there was a dentist on one side of me and his assistant on the other and they were just like leaning over me so I was like sweating like crazy while they were like sawing shit out of my face.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, the only other physical malady I'm currently dealing with is that, uh, so I have my detached shoulder. Right from the motorcyle black. Yeah, exactly. Uh, I've been doing physical therapy for that. Good. Whenever I do my exercises, they put athletic tape on it to kind of lock it in place and make sure that I don't use it improperly.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it turns out, for some reason, my body just breaks out like crazy when I leave athletic tape on it for like a day. So I got this nasty like pink...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know how old people will describe in horrible detail all these terrible things happening to their body? I'm there. But like 50 years early. I wanna see that pimpley patch. It's, I've been, I've been lotioning it and stuff. So it's not as bad. Oh my gosh! Holy shit!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's what I'm saying. That's just water, and it's not, it's just, it's hitting the surface. But it's also warm water. But it's water with poop.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Solidify on. You get like one or two good wipes and then it's just dried out and it's in.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's not true. What kind of a- there's different kinds. Yea, you can wear boxers.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, so, I dug around for some numbers, because essentially...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Whenever there's a huge breakout, like League of Legends, World of Warcraft, that kind of finds a new audience in gaming.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So the question for me is have we hit the like market cap of Battle Royale? And it's really hard to say because there's not a lot of data. Uh, Fortnite is the clear winner right now. Sorry? I was gonna ask, I mean.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, they haven't said much since then about the data, about the player data. They have like total install numbers, which I think is around 14 million. Their last concurrent peak was 3.4 concurrent, uh, million concurrent.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, so, and the reason I bring that up is concurrent players is what is kind of the connecting data that I can string through all this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So that's where Fortnite was. PUBG actually recently, arguably because of Blackout,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And PUBG still has a very healthy player base of 1 million concurrence almost all the time. Pretty good. Just recently did below that. But it has been tapering off as you can see.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, there will be, there will be like content patches and stuff that you'll see spikes of players, but it'll just kinda...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Ride back out. So the opportune question here is, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is it down, is it like zero sum at this point? Is every new Battle Royale just going to swish around the same group of players?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Which one's going to win and which one's going to lose according to gamers and... Yeah, it's an interesting question.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Shit. And PUBG has kind of a lot of shit still. It's still broken. It still runs crappy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's uh, yeaah. It's uh, I think it's honestly pretty incredible.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What they were able to do and how they were able to adapt Call of Duty into a successful Battle Royale, or at least a mechanically successful Battle Royale, in the amount of time they had to do it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That they did is really impressive. Or they were ahead of it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, maybe. Maybe as soon as H1Z1 was percolating, they were like, okay, Black Ops 4, we need a battle royale mode. And it was the right bet.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Question, I've been, I've been waiting for the time when, so you have Call of Duty, which is like the silver umbrella.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Many have these sub-franchises under it, like Black Ops 1, 2, 3, 4, Advanced Warfare, whatever. I was waiting for...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Another splinter off, so a subsection of Black Ops gets its own sequel.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then you have this weird spiderweb of games that doesn't make sense anymore? It's the COD, CODCU.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, there's a list of them coming up. Rapture Rejects, Fear of the Wolves, Darwin Project, Cractured Lands, Egress, Dying Light, Bad Blood is an existing one. Battle Right Royale. What the hell is that?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's a, it's a melee based battle royale game set in the Dying Light universe. I had no idea that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Here we are. Yeah, so it's, it's gonna be interesting because all these games are gonna hit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Close to the same time. And they probably all won't get a sufficient player base. That's kind of the bitch about Battle Royale. It relies on active players to work. So...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It wasn't fun though. Yeaah, that's, it was kind of an MMO. It didn't really have the pacing of a shooter. People still play it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I feel, I feel, it's a bummer for Microsoft because they, they bought PUBG exclusivity basically. Now this is coming out and it's that game but better. Whoops, that sucks.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, just as a quick aside, I heard the thrumming, warbling AC come on. You had some success getting that out of the audio lately, yeah?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, uh, much like our relationships with other people that we play Battle Royales with must be healthy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know where I'm going with this to be honest. It's going well. Yeah, whatever. Hinge. It's a new dating app that focuses on health, healthy relationships, and essentially helping you find partners that enhance health in your life.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You might be wondering what that means, essentially, rather than relying on some pictures or really, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Maybe a little different than something, than other services that rely on just quick swipes of photos or something like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you're into that, that's cool. This is more of a long-term service for people that want to find long-term partners.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They say that it promotes healthy relationships of all kinds. And it's the dating app for people looking for a healthy relationship with a partner.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Let's see, let's be real, at some point we all get sick of the late nights, the hangovers, the missed gym sessions, the bumble hookups, basically that yolo attitude.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I tend to think there could be some hybrid there, but certainly, certainly that dating scene never ever worked for me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was never the kind of person that could snag a woman, uh, right away. I need, I need some time to talk.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I gotta work the intellectual game on him a little bit. Let him see my action-oriented lifestyle.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, I need a voluminous words on my dating profile. Sounds hot.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That was a brief aside, man, I wish I'd saved my first profile, it was the worst. Ouch.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, maybe it's still there somewhere. I did get- well, whatever, that's an aside. Uhm.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So if you're looking to date and, uh, other services don't provide the experience you're looking for, maybe they're too superficial, uh, maybe you can't, you're not getting the kind of conversations you're looking for.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, Hinge would recommend their service to you. And you can download it in the App Store. Uh, I'm sure that's iPhone and Android or whatever App Store you have in the service. That's Hinge, H-I-N-G-E. To find a partner that will enhance your healthy lifestyle. Because that's what we're all in this long ride for. Partners that help us out. So thank you Hinge for the sponsorship. And it's kind of a cool idea.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'll try. Oh no, don't. Don't feel bad. The time has come to focus on your particular talent, which is apparently an encyclopedic knowledge of television shows.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I hope you can guess them. They only lasted one season. Only one. Each one. Sitcoms or dramas.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What about everything? Were they, were they all in the 90s? Uh, yeaah, loosely. From 1990 to 1999. Okay. Yep. That's the window I gunned for. I thought, I presumed that might be the era to which you had the most knowledge, but I could be wrong.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do I need a blindfold for this? Uh, I'm gonna say you do. Cause there's really, well if you just stare off into the ether there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's not going to show up here. It will. Well, I guess it doesn't have to actually, if it's audio only. I came prepared. Oh, so it's just audio that we're playing for him? No, no, no. It's, it's the, yeah, Bones says the traditional handkerchief, uh, headkerchief has come out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Interesting. Little disappointed. That's weird. That is very weird. We've been leveraged, we've been pulling for that one pretty hard. Always ask, every week.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, but yeaah, for the sake of the audience, uh, there are visuals, ugh, it's already playing, come on.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, so here's the first one, Bones. Uh, let me make sure that everything's... Okay, turn it up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, it is the, uh, Forgotten Classic Cupid.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, okay, this one you'll, I'm sure you'll get this one. Oh, I watched the show. Oh, we gotta turn it up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, there's a few more. We'll save those for next time. Bone steps up to the plate. The bones challenge.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Speaking of hot, how about hot food? I'm gonna knock another ad read out. Yeah. While we're at it, uh, this podcast is sponsored by Blue Apron. They are a, uh, yeah. Meals by mail service. Every week they'll send you a cardboard box filled with pre-portioned ingredients.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, they have a back to school promotion going on right now, which accordingly features, uh, meals that are made with a very small amount of time. As little as 20 minutes to get dinner on the table. So if you're busy running around the kids and


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, stuck in traffic all day, yeaah, like this guy right here. Father, the year material. Uh, yeaah, you can, you can serve up dinner at home, cook it yourself, uh, and then you know everything that's in it. And, uh, it can be a little cheap. Ten dollars a serving.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Now, time for another issue cooking with Lawrence, because I've been cooking for three years now. I've had a fawn problem for a while.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And this is stupid, but really the solution is to lower the cooking heat. Uh, that helps a lot. Uh, the big part about that is I kind of trust my nose. So I'll put it at a certain temperature, drop it on there, make sure to get a good sear going. And then once I can smell like it goes from cooking to just a little bit smoky, that's when I drop the heat back down.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And also not moving it around a lot, so whenever you drop the thing on there, if you move it, then the fond is just exposed and it cooks, I feel like it cooks faster. So just dropping it in one place and letting it sit and then flipping it, uh, prevents the fond from burning. And then hitting it with some oil if it gets a little too smoky. Uh, but yeaah, I've had some great fonds ever since.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And man, it's been, it's been working great. Usually it's just a bunch of black shit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Gotta kinda learn. Are you electric or gas? Just moved to gas. I was electric for a long time. Good man. Yeah, I'm enjoying gas quite a bit. He's a gas man. He's a gas man. I'm a gas man now. Uh, if you want to develop similar expertise in the kitchen,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You can do it and also get your first three meals for free by going to BlueAffron.com slash soup.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright next, uh, oh yeaah, we got some cartoon titties on Steam! What? Finally! What happened? That's why I'm here. What are you talking about? Yeaah, this is why you showed up. So, uh, it's kind of a broken Steam link right now, but...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, Negligee is a game that came out actually a long time ago, uh, and...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] As the title implies, it's about some fine ladies that you can have some relationships with.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They had to release it on Steam without any of the sex in it, and then the developers issued a patch that they would add it back in.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then that got a little weird too, because essentially then Steam was complicit in delivering pornographic material.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A while ago, uh, STEAM kinda rolled back their policing, said, we're gonna allow everything. As long as it's not straight up trolling or pornography. Whatever that means.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes, thank you, Bruce. It is ours. It teaches people about the world.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, so for the longest time, a lot of adult games were kind of locked down on Steam because Steam was reworking their store. Uh, now they've added nudity or sexual content and adult-only sexual content opt-ins to the store. Until you hit those, these games won't appear.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, and so it seems like Steam was waiting for that functionality to get added, now that it is.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] On some visual novels that have some... Get it? Full?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No you didn't. Thanks so much. Uh, so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't, uh, there's kinda two operative questions here that I wanna ask you guys. I guess the first is...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do you care that there's adult material on Steam now? Do you feel like it might?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It is a visual novel, my man, so essentially you'll read a book, uh, every 20 minutes or so you get to choose, like, I wanna go to the park, or I wanna go to the store. And then...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You'll meet ladies, you can choose who you want to spend time with, you choose dialogue options, you buy gifts and give it to them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And once you cram a pool of, uh, time and attention, they open up their loins to you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So this is the new, like, gate page for Steam. Uh, it says this game may contain content not appropriate for all ages or may not be appropriate for you at work.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then they actually have a snippet from the developer describing what's in the game.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So yes, I have, I have indeed. Not very common, but it happens. So it's cool because there's this little pop up here that says, hey, just heads up, do you want to see this anymore? I immediately clicked yes. And then it said great preference save next question. Okay, we're seeing products that contain frequent violence or gore.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's a couple- Ooh, it's super kinky. I don't know. It's- I guarantee you it's a visual novel. Fuck! Actually, wait, there's a big ol' tongue poking out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's a trick. So, if you opt out of seeing these things, they won't appear in search. So it makes it safe for kids. That's good. It's, uh, it's hard, it's hard. You bet it's hard. Philosophically, to find a price, dick.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] At a certain point, the government steps in at some point. So yeaah, it's, well, the goal is to not let the government stick, yeaah, so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The thing is the president, the precedent hasn't been set about what Steam considers pornography. And governments have said that, and it's still just a list of very subjective qualifications.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, it's like if any thinking person can look at it and see if it has artistic value.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Obviously 18 year old kids discover like blow jobs for the first time. 18?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, we've moved on though. Yeah, the human race has been sticking everything in every hole. Everything. For years and wanting it. You think you're the first kid to think you're...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I, I scouted it for a, uh, for a gameplay research. Yep. Scouted it? That's what you do for five hours?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There, there is a grip, uh, because Steam is, Steam is what it is, uh, and because I like to make political commentary in our game plays, I was going to do a, like a, just a,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause it's just dumb shit like hentai jigsaw puzzle, hentai ring puzzle where it's a titty lady.