[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like for popping off, like you just said, like there's been times you popped off and the other person's been like, whoa.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're directing this at other people and not at me. Do you feel like if you lost your job that would be justified?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because Rooster Teeth has a very, a very transparent and open communication with their community. It's like a big part of the company.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's something that the people at this table deal with, but not, probably not something that most of the people watching deal with.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But when you comment on someone in some way, you're only seeing your one comment.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But the people who are on the other end of it are seeing your comment and about a hundred other.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And a whole host of, uh, vitriol and whatever. And so, it's hard to always manage those along the way.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I don't, I, I, I'm sure someone could do the work and dig through her thread.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What prompted her to do her Twitter thread in the first place?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Some other community post, or was there something, or did she? Cause like, I think it's strange that she was like, you know what, I gotta get this off my chest.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know, I think it's a weird situation. I think in this situation, I'm curious what the language was in her employment.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I think that may tie into the straw that breaks the camel's back for her.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But in, in you reading his response, it doesn't seem, it seems like here's, like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's awesome, this is great information and here's something else that I'm providing. There is a certain aspect which I could see someone reacting to which is, why are you


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Criticizing my process. You're here.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're here because of the thing that I work on. You love it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And yet you're so, like, I mean, people, people are open to criticize the things that they love, but, but you're here and you're, but this is, it got to the point because of this thing that I made. This thing that I'm showing you, this blueprint that I'm putting out here is why it got to this point. And you're here. So it's weird.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, of course not. Of course not. No, I'm not saying that at all. I'm saying her, in her head.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It did seem like it was, it was a, just a tiny, a feather going.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] At a certain point, where people are hired because they have followings. I don't know how big her Twitter following or whatever it is, but like, companies will be like, ooh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so, and so it's very much like, oh, well your voice on social media is your own, or whatever, stuff like that. Thinking that it would be good, but then as soon as it's bad, they're like, whoa, whoa, whoa, that's not cool. I think it's weird, cause she's, was she like a community? She was a writer. She was a writer.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He may have had a VHS player. He may have grown up with one the same way we grew up with like Betamax. Maybe. It was there, but it was always like combined with the thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I hated Terminator Salvation because they were like, you know what, we should hire Anton Yelchin to do all the lines from Terminator in the gruff voice that Michael Bean doesn't have.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hmm. I was listening to an NPR review of a new anime that came out. There isn't time, I'm sorry.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes, I do. My favorite thing about hypnosis is there's always like a disclaimer. Now it only works if you want to cluck like a chicken.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, how do you feel about sticking a chocolate bar up your asshole? Uh, I'm indifferent to the idea, but I don't think I'd ever do it. Okay, then it's not going to work on you because you've got a negative attitude. Okay, that's the problem. I'm the problem. You're the problem.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I like when you can tell something's written by someone who doesn't spend time around human beings.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like when Prometheus brought man fire. Wait, hold on, hold on. This totally works, I have a 7.4.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well Sam, what are you thinking? I'm also voting for Ohoho. Damn, a sweep! Because those anime characters want to be there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, let me blow your mind. Say you download one of those things, you go into your roommate's room while they're sleeping, you play it, and then all of a sudden now they're a fractional piggy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's the kind of thing that they turn around and sue the person for being attacked because they put biological bullshit on them or something.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This person wants to sue this person because they went on the internet and used technology to turn themselves into a super clown or something. This should be illegal.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] On the third, on the third shake, you're supposed to hit the button and that guarantees that


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do silencers break as quick as they do in some of those video games?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think also the popularity of the Switch put a weird timestamp on this generation. You're right. Because it was last year. Well yea, it was last year.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Also, what do you think about the fact that like, CPU architecture has to be fundamentally changed because of all the shit that happened recently. Oh, so like development, development of new CPUs is, is severely behind in both on both like x86 and 64.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But do you think they'll make a console that isn't just x86 now? No. Or 64? No way. They won't ever do Cell again. No, no they won't. So like, yeah, them doing a bespoke chip.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well also you can work backwards from that into access memory that you don't have access to.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And that, that was the, the, the exploit that was happening is they were looking at the, at the look ahead stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then reverse engineering that information to find things in memory that they didn't have access to.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so they basically shut down, like the fix was to shut down all that preprocessing stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so now they have to re-architecture all these new chips coming out that don't...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That don't have the same kind of exploit in their pre-processing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Really? I feel like that is the future. Like if they do another


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I mean, that's why, but I feel like doing a PS4 Pro and an Xbox One X set up the expectation that I have longevity with my purchases.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But neither one of them, neither one of those refreshes did all that well, right, sales wise?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, from what I remember hearing, and this could be totally wrong, or whatever, or old information, is that neither one of those did what they thought they were gonna do, and like, Xbox especially,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They were looking at it like, okay, we're finally the more powerful console. We're going to take over the market now. And like, people were like, oh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's like two things that I can buy right now that take advantage of this increased hardware. I'm not going to re-spend my console money on something I already own. And so like, I don't own a Pro.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But is it, is it the PlayStation 4 that is at fault or the headset itself? Because isn't the resolution refresh rate on that headset not that great? That's true.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And typically once that does happen, you'll end up with shitloads of pictures from, you know, factory lines or whatever of like, this is what the box looks like, this is what the case looks like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's fun. I love old games like that when they get crisp, like you see, uh, Goldeneye or something that is up-res, but the polygons are still the same size. The textures are really cool.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Those one up, I mean I've said it before, those one white Charlie things are probably the best product they have.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Dice is an easy thing to have cool games for, cause you just have a pocket full of that stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I dunno, VR improvement is hard though because like that fad is gonna come and go before they can do anything with this hardware, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm, I'm ready to, I'm ready for console gaming to be what I'm excited about again though. Because like, PCs took over that spot for me in a heart, in like a big way where I didn't even turn on my consoles for a long ass time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, stuff like that and like, I wanna be able to just like sit down on my couch and play a video game again or something, you know? Like, there's something about the simplicity of a console that I know it's gonna work with the games that I buy for it, that I miss in video games.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, that was just like, being a TV Vita, it was awesome.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, like the, like, taking how awesome the Switch is and how shitty the Vita ended up being, even though I loved the Vita as a piece of hardware, it was amazing. It was really well designed. And like, the games on it were really cool and they just, it just didn't, it didn't have legs for whatever reason. Yeah. Like, I don't know if they can ever come back from something like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I love the idea of doing that stuff, but the Switch, like, as a portable console just doesn't really work that well for me, like, holding onto it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's just, I don't know. It just, the pro controller is awesome. I love that controller. It is the second best controller I've ever used, I think. With the Xbox One X or One Elite. When that one hit the S, I think, when they came out with the little revision to that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then the pro controller is right under that, but the fucking joycons are the worst.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was, it's more like a hairnet, like a loose shower cap. That sounds invasive.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I mean, just like, you could fit more stuff in there, like they could put more battery in there, they could do like, I don't care if it's fatter. Yeah, like whatever the thing is, you can make it better by having more space.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Man, those, they're such, they were such a good form factor. Cause that shape could fit in your pocket, the screen was amazing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then they, they released that PSP Go that was just like, here pirates, here's a better way of pirating all our games, cause it's set up to run off little hard drives.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If it were the size of an iPad, you could easily put it in front of you on a little piece of table.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've never had, like, they're supposed to come off. I've tried, kind of, not really hard, but I've tried to kind of snap it off, and I can't get it to come off.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like a little, like a breakout cable for HDMI or something? I'm sure you can make that. I'm sure some people have.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Not really, cause that, I did play with it for, before I got a pro controller, but they're too close together for me. Yeaah. So yeaah, it just, I don't like that either. My hands hurt and I shouldn't, my hands shouldn't hurt from playing video games. That sucks.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's gotta be a weapon. It's gotta be some kind of like shoot out a grappling hook kind of thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What? That's not true at all. There's a, actually the one that, uh, the Culver, uh, what's it called? The barber shop that's a bar? Yeah. That place is open til like eight. That's where I went.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's been a while, guys. It's been a while. It's gross. It's disgusting. And you, I know you have a baby.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They should call him and complain. Well, when you get all booked up, man, there's no time. You know where he's flying, right? He's flying out for two days off in GDC.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's gonna go drink with developers for free. Rooster Teeth.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is, oh my gosh. Are we talking about gaming or are we talking about you? I told you guys to present a medal. You guys have that? He's gone to, Lawrence has gone to stunt school, he's gone to motorcycle school.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What is it? Why don't you buy a fast car and then take that school?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's a good one. That's a good one. We knew you would say that. Who needs that bullshit? I certainly don't.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, it's some dude in a river. Some dude in a river with a samurai sword and then he falls over.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's been doing this for almost five years and every week it's the same thing. He forgets what's order it is. Bruce the barber. The barber threw me off. Don't get a haircut on Tuesday.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Lawrence and I, Lawrence and I played it last RTX. Oh. So we played it, I wanna say May, June of last year. But that's when it was like getting ready to release.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh yea, they do. They're absolutely right. They do have that. Thick ass women in there. That's what I took away from them. I haven't played Blitz yet. I've been wanting to play it. Oh, it's Blitz mode. New game mode. Uh, I don't know exactly what it is, but I know it's out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I thought it was, but I think Lawrence might be right. They may have met before that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Either way, I thought it was sort of a natural progression to this whole thing. To me. I was like, yes, this makes sense. Celebrities would play a game just like anybody else. Yeah, I guess. I did recently, not to derail this, Lawrence, just really quick. Sorry? Uhm, I just read another article about how Post Malone


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Ricky, I would argue that these positive, like the Twitch playing, or uh, Ninja playing Fortnite with Drake or whatever, I would argue that people that follow gaming in the news that don't necessarily play games,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They don't care about the positive stuff anyways. Uhm, I think that they just don't, this stuff barely even registers on their radar and the headline I saw the most for Ninja was Ninja Makes a Half Million Dollars a Month.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It wasn't, uh, Ninja plays Fortnite with Popstar, donates all of his money to charity, you know, like it wasn't anything like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well that's the same, same can be applied there because they're preaching to the gaming audience. By the way, I agree with you. I'm just only doing this for Devil's Advocate purposes. I completely agree with you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I mean, like, we've tried that, and the funny thing is, they even pitched that stuff to us, they're like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do you want Tom Cruise to come over and play Call of Duty with you? Yes! All of us are like, hell yeah we do! And I'm sure that as soon as they go back to Tom Cruise as an agent, he goes, Call of what? And you're gonna give me $10,000? Fuck you! Like that's insane. He's yelling at his assistant.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And the fact of the matter is Drake actually plays Fortnite, enjoys the game. Sure. And then, and then he just randomly happens to know he watches another streamer, so that's just, it was just all nice, like Ricky said, all coincided.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Everybody's playing. It's like 45 million people or something, right? It's unbelievable.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's way more than Overwatch. I know that Overwatch is like 25 to 30 or something.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right. That's the thing that we, I'm sure Ricky encounters this too, is like, but probably we get a lot, which is people are always like, man, you have the dream job, all you do is play video games all day. And I'm always like, what? No. I was on the spreadsheet for four hours yesterday, so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Kind of, but you still have to be an entertainer and like, you still have to like, actually put together some sort of show.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's gonna say something like Scott Atkins or something you've never heard of. Yeaah, Jason Statham. We'll answer for him. Yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Maybe, but I mean like, like you said, it's like those actors spent 10 years auditioning and getting rejected and like training, going to...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Thank you, Adam. So it's alliteration? What about lassies? Lars lads and lassies?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's a plastic like, glued together. It was really bad. There's gotta be something embarrassing I bought off eBay. I can't remember. Something related to Star Wars, I'm sure of it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Some shitty, like, mask or piece of garbage from eBay. I remember, there was one time I wanted to buy a Batman costume that was like $400.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That I thought would be amazing, but I instead got really lucky and the company that I worked for at the time had that shipped to them and I saw it, I got to see it in action and it looks like the dirtiest Batman costume ever. So I didn't buy it. I was able to avoid that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I did, oh I did try to sell my, uh, I sold, just like you Adam, I sold my really old handycam on eBay for $600 and I was like, hell yeaah, I got even a really good bid. Uh, somebody Paypal'd me the money, I immediately sent it out that day because I was like, well I don't want to get a, not an A++.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then three days later, uh, the money was taken out of my account. And so I had to, I was basically negotiated with PayPal, uh, never got my money. I got about half of it. Um, but I, but I never got my handycam back and I got half the money because I had to argue with PayPal.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There would be so many Bruce sex tapes on there. So many. By Bruce sex tapes I mean me masturbating.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was like, I had heard, I heard sensible things coming out of both of your mouths about electric cars and hybrids. I was like, yea, you know what? That's right, that's a good idea to buy a car. And then now Lawrence is talking about going to motorcycle school and getting a motorcycle. I was like, what the fuck is going on? Buy a fucking car!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You can control the torque with an app! I'll blow your mind.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You could, you should have bought an electric bike like I did. I did. Years ago. I did years ago. And then. It broke immediately. Mine did not. Mine still works just fine. Mine, mine was good. I sold it. Yeah, and I used it, I rode it for three years. Three, it still, it still works. But you still have it. I still have it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Have you guys seen Floppatron? I have, I've been watching it, yea. Floppatron's awesome.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We don't really have any, oh, a video capture device there. Yeah, it's just really hard to see.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Man, it's cool. Yeaah. The shirts are really cool.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How did you get extreme? What was your, what was your conveyance? Like, what did you use?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And whose stepdad's pickup truck can we take to Home Depot to buy all this shit?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I don't know, it's, it's sort of, it's inherently deceptive. So even if there is some sort of closure, it's not real.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Things aren't illegal until someone writes, until a government writes it down and makes it illegal. Like it can seem immoral and wrong, but until it's on paper, that's why every time some junkie creates like a new drug, a new weird drug, like it's not illegal technically until it's been figured out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We were asking a question while you were gone, the one time we weren't talking about clowns. I was wondering if you know if it's actually...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Literally illegal, like is there a law on the books preventing this technology from being used?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is, is the technology we're talking about, is it, is it recreating someone's face to where it looks like them, or are they actually just removing clips of them from an interview or a film?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like if you make a sculpture of a celebrity, they can't sue you, right? Or can they?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, I, I don't know, I have a, I have a, I have my own little view of that, uhm.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you don't know Lin, you may have seen him on, uh, Always Open and on the spot, unfortunately.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In a sad way because it's like you're using it to sleep or just to relax or you're not really like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, Adam's like, I can't sleep. And you're probably smoking oregano from a senior that sold it to you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well I, I, I did read that he was a psychologist and he left when he was 37. So that's enough!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My understanding was that John Travolta had never even come as close as how high Tom Cruise has risen in the ranks.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Um, cause another source I was reading was saying that it could, it is probably about


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Half a million dollars worth of money and investment put into Scientology to rise as high as Tom Cruise has.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, you're right, Bruce. Yeaah, he's, this is the utter commitment.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Tom Cruise is also kind of like a behind the curtain Scientologist to an extent, like he'll go and he'll rant at Matt Lauer.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] See, that's what people get wrong about high school, is like, it's always, it's never understood that like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, so like, this guy was the Star Wars pre- club president.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Honestly, like I, I know I joke, like I think we all do when somebody talks about a nerdy pastime they have or something that they're passionate about that's a little geeky, a little joke, but I truly love


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When people have really diverse or weird or quirky or nerdy interests and I think that like if you're ever talking to somebody and they're really passionately unloading to you about something that they love and they're apologetic about it, it's kind of sad because that means that


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They've talked about things they're passionate about before, it's people that shit on them or don't care, and that's the reaction they have. Uhm, but I also think it's really funny, like for me, like, cause I know there's stuff that I like that's super nerdy and lame, and so like, I don't mind being made fun of for, and I think it's funny.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, I mean, I used to be really into neopets, as you know, for a period of time, and I was


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Quite the paintbrush collector, um, sacrificing my own pet's health at times.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This kind of history at the time, or not even history, but customs, I suppose, more so than exact history given my age.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, but, uh, you know, just kind of, uh, being specific tapestries for houses on the walls were important. And seating people, you know, in relation to their tapestries. It was mostly paper.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, you know, I created unique house tapestries at the time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I did bring it to, I did bring it to class to show my teacher it was not a required piece of schoolwork. And no one, I just did it and then I brought it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's nothing, I can tell you tons of stories about the lame shit I used to do. Also my mom gave me a typewriter when I was like seven and I was really into mysteries, I still am, but I would write like mystery stories with this typewriter


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because I, I was always watching like, Diagnosis Murder and Murder Shiro with my mom, and I was always reading mysteries. So I would rep, like, try to mimic these mysteries, and I thought I was like a real, like, crime writer with my typewriter. I was a really, really sad child. I'm so sad at all.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is a really, uh, this is a day, this has been a day, Lin.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] See, the prize is for us where you just got books. The teacher would give you, like, a book that you could keep.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There was one time I could tell this, cause you got to choose and I could tell the teacher did not want me to choose the book.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's almost as good as being on Carnival Cruise Line. I also, I was in like the gifted program at my school, we would go to, they'd host this annual, uhm,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The competition for all the other mode programs of their schools called the Think Bowl.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, I mean the think bowl was just kind of like you went as your mode group and then you would just answer random questions.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think they were probably divided by, uhm, different points of curriculum.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I truly think that phones are reshaping the way our brains work.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think like my last year of university I had like a laptop that I brought to class with me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's why I always like to open book tests because I'm like, well, if you teach somebody to think critically and analytically and that's the point of whatever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Peace or, or like challenge or giving them, giving them the information to take and then apply to that is not the point that they...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're able to regurgitate something, it's them being able to take that and then apply it in a new way.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Interest dwindled, interest dwindled and then ultimately there was this really small tight-knit community still left in those Tomorrow Children servers that they had built their own little world and there was this really, really sad, uhm,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Or maybe PSX 2014, I think, maybe even. And it was supposed to be a game where it, it, uhm, was a...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A representation of like a functional communist...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Of production and, and uh, socialism and...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] At least did you play this? I did play, uhm...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But uhm, I know, I was looking at like the early, top early access games, and Paladins is right out there like most played. Really? Yea, it's free to play.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Somebody just like, backspace. There we go. They're like, no, not that kind of revolution.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well it is weird to have a deviant art account that you source the art from commission, like artists you commission. It's a little strange, a little unorthodox.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And Bruce, I mean even, like, you called it, now even, they're, they can't find artists.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You gotta, yea, you gotta keep it hidden. Gotta leave him wanting more. Yea, I was gonna say Destiny is a little, uh, off the rails. I really enjoy the game, but everybody else hates it, so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I thought it was $15 a month, but now it's $10.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I would love to know the percentage of people that are still paying monthly and then forgot about the fact that they're still paying monthly.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Last, last movie ever. He was so drunk when he did this too. You know, you know he was. Yeah, I think he was actually in a pretty coherent state of mind.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're gonna get you, Bruce. They're gonna get you with that shipping. $4 shipping, yes, you're right. They gotcha! That's how they do it! Alright, well don't worry about it. You didn't miss a thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, no, you've done that for years. You always told me that when I first started inside gaming.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They might win the long game over PlayStation, but PlayStation got such a head start on them.


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[Assistant] That I don't know if there's any way that Xbox can overtake them in this console generation. I don't know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I never thought I'd be rooting for Microsoft. Cause like, to be honest with you, I always thought they were more innovative than Sony was, especially with the console releases. And then when they failed at the messaging,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, and then especially when they hired Phil Spencer and he started doing all the marketing and, and announcing to them, I was like, man, I really like this Phil Spencer guy. He's like super, he seems very, very honest, uh, seems very genuine and wants Xbox to succeed the right way. Um, and now that they're so far behind Nintendo and Sony, I'm just like, it's, they are the underdogs. And so I typically root for the underdogs, but I, I don't know, Microsoft, there's a billion dollar company. I don't even know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's like what we do with our videos. Exactly, Bruce. Because it goes to roosterteeth.com, it goes to YouTube, uh, it goes to ferv now, and uh, like, you're right, those are more streams of revenue, which is good for smaller creators like us.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But then also smaller game creators, because they can do the same thing on other platforms.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think everybody also, they see like dollar signs in their eyes with a potential like GTA.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But they're like, we could make the next GTA 5, and nobody can, only Rockstar can, but, but I mean like, but you still see that, right? You still aspire to do it. Sure. So they see like this games as a service thing that's four years old, five years old now, and it's this giant single player game that turned into a multiplayer, like, you know, whatever. There's no way they can do it, but.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Can I just have the cup of water in the larger cup?


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[Assistant] It's good. So I actually, I was gonna say just to this Star Wars Battlefront point, all the complaining that people did about the loot boxes and stuff like that isn't gonna affect sales then, but I bet it'll affect sales the next time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's, cause that's the kind of thing that I'll remember the next time around and be like, oh yeaah, there was that whole deal with the loot boxes thing that nobody, cause I didn't buy Battlefront 2 because of all the loot boxes problems.


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[Assistant] Well, Lawrence, they may let games do that because they let novels do that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And those don't sell nearly as much as games do. That's a good point. So I'm curious, do novels alter the course of canon or do they just fill in details? Uhm, sometimes they'll fill in details. I don't know if they alter the course of canon, but what they will do is explain things that happened in the movie.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If something happens that you're like, I don't remember that happening, they'll explain it in a book, is what they'll do. But I don't know if they'll change the way a movie is laid out, you know what I'm saying?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right. Until you like, show up on your back. It's just like a- Stunning and brave. This is ridiculous, but it's just like a comic con or something like that. Yeah. Cause everybody's got that same positive attitude, they're all there for different reasons.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The CEO walked in once and he was like, guys, how come you're not out there drinking? And we were like, cause we have work to do. We gotta finish this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, YouTube poop? Yeah, uh, well no, it was gamer poop. Gamer poop, yeaah.


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[Assistant] I mean, they've been acquired. They're still there. That's true. As long as they're working. They've still got jobs working on ATC. Appreciate that. Shibby's there, I think. Yeah, Shibby's home. Joel's there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's right, Joel's back there. Joel's back at Machinima.


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[Assistant] Well you know that also there's a, I believe there's a limitation on those demonstrations. They can't laugh or do anything funny. It has to be serious.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So they can't make it a joke. Uh, and if they make it a joke, then, then basically your audience thinks it's a joke playing. And then if they fail at the safety, then it's the steward or the flight attendants fault. Not, not the people on the plane.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Have you guys ever ridden on a plane before?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And light speed. So instead of firing, right, bullets don't go at light speed, do they, Elise?


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[Assistant] Hold on. High energy laser for testing a tactical fighter jet. The key technology is an advanced version of a multi-kilowatt fiber laser like the one the Navy tested. That's right. They had that on a battleship and they fired a laser all of a sudden. Wait, the movie battleship? No. We're not interested. We're on a battleship. Look, laser weapon system.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But that's not even a moving target. This doesn't seem fair. Sort of thing you gotta, well, yea I guess you're right. You know that it would be moving.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Look, I didn't say I wanted a jet, I wanted a jet. With a laser gun on it, I want a laser gun on it too.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The terrorists, do you imagine a terrorist holding a gun on someone and it just only shoots the gun out of his hand? What are you, Superman? It doesn't even kill a terrorist. That's awesome.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, they're gonna shoot down a drone? Dazzle and destroy a UAV.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is so cool. Man, what a great idea.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We're gonna have some real fun, boy, put on your latex gloves. At least does a real gun get you all hot and bothered? Sure, yeah. Come on, look at that! Is that what they fire? Yes! It's just fire a piece of metal! Basically, yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Never gonna tell you. How's uh, how's Benson doing?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But why did he still, he's still publishing videos that he thinks have that?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I-I-I was gonna say, I appreciate that he's a creator, but what the hell?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sure, of course. But this, like, you could be married to a woman.


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[Assistant] Wow, just for the audio listeners, he just walked through a chapel full of avatars.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Get that ring on her, lock her down! Does she put her finger up? She's yours! Yes! Oh my gosh, she does! Yes!


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[Assistant] Oh, I see, that was her. She got it. Alright, alright, alright. I love this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I always think to myself, like, the person that spent, you know, like 38 hours setting up dominoes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like they hit the dominoes down, right, and there's millions of dominoes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's what this guy did, but with VR and a little girl. Get in that head. Rub that head. Get in there for another one, she's high!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I, I, this absolutely wins. This, there should be no other winner. This 100%. Treasured moments. They hugged, they hugged, they hugged, they hugged. Man, good for you Sergeant Dale. Husbando and waifu.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Who fought a fuckin' raptor? TwitchTV slash sardinale.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I didn't catch his entire like, confessional that he did on the stream, but at any point did he give reason why he was being so open about it? Why he wanted to be so transparent about it?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I guess with the sponsored situation, you want to be as like upfront about what the actual...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, but we are in an age right now that people who sponsor you and give you money also associate your personal life with their brand.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well people don't, people also like, on the commentary of him being so committed to his character, then that even makes it so people can't disassociate themselves.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So anyway, what I was gonna say was that with, on the point of how much he is, is then committed to his character, that makes it even harder for people to disassociate a personal life of this real person from what he is. I mean, he's that way on his Twitter, his Instagram, everything. So like, where does that line then get drawn? I think this whole, so there's a whole thing here.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But again, I'll just make clear, I don't think people should care at all about his personal life, care about his infidelity, his marriage, anything like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, I, I will, I will echo that completely, that in a situation like this, as much as he, if he's saying he wants it to handle privately, there's a huge chance that the other person, having been someone who's on the other side of an infidelity issue, you just want to be left alone. You do, especially-


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[Assistant] Well, I think it is a response to that because I think that became a negative connotation of like say like a Spock or a Kirk. They gotta, so you get associated with one thing you can do and then you don't get hired for anything else because people can't associate you with anything else.


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[Assistant] I do think there is something, and a lot of, a lot of I think, let's say celebrity figured this out, uh, unfortunately on the


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're taking on a responsibility as something that is being followed by a bunch of people and not that you are to be their police or their mother and father or anything like that. Uhm, I think you need to then respect your own sway that you have and your own influence.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And again, that's not asking for you to be Jesus or some sort of picture perfect thing, but uhm, you do take on that responsibility. And, and I think,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Ideally, if you are someone who does that, you are someone who's gonna do that and use that sway for let's say good, let's say for bettering this world, let's say for building people up. Uhm, and I mean like, this is a funny person to bring this up about, but uh, I was recently


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And she's like, yeaah, I wish I had used that voice for something better, as opposed to just like, bleh, like, she even says that at this point. So even someone who went so far as just being over-sexualized, you know, fuck up, like she was at one point, she's even looking back on that and going, wow, that was like, I had a lot of power over a lot of people, I could have done good with that. Yeah, I agree. And so, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you're going to be someone who's going to have thousands upon thousands of people watching you on Twitch, then you are also someone who's going to deal with the fact that if you do something that is morally, you know, something that can be sensationalized, you have to deal with that backlash.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Except my mom buries once. Was she appreciative? She was very appreciative.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh yea, I was literally going through a divorce. Over the course of a year and a half, uhm, and it was an ugly divorce that, wait, what happened? I don't know, it just dropped, he didn't jump out of a plane.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But yeaah, I was going through like a year and a half and it was like really ugly and it was, it was, uh, involving a ton of my...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My resources and energy and all the while I was doing content for Roost Teeth. I was doing a literal comedy show every single week. Uhm, there were times when I would literally go to the lawyer during the day and then later that night do a show.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, and I decided I didn't want people to know about the process while it was going on. I was very private about it because I just didn't, they didn't need to know. It wasn't, it wasn't affecting anything of what I was doing. It wasn't affecting them and uhm, and I wanted to be able to deal with it without uhm, voices. We're not laughing at John's pain.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That was, you know, you're going along, you're enjoying a certain guy's movies and you're just a huge fan of Tim Allen and then one day you find out that, you know, he's not, you know, maybe the most mortal guy out there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I saw humanity this week when I went to my shared laundromat in my apartment building and someone had taken my clothes out of the washer and put them on the counter.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, hold on. I see everyone has different standards of humanity. Yeah, Lawrence, I wasn't expecting this reaction. I'm not gonna defend this shit. But- You don't touch someone else's clothes. How long?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, they were like, past their cycle? That's what I said, past their cycle, like 10-15 minutes. Oh, 15 minutes. That's about on the edge. That's about- 10 minutes, I'm not gonna call anyone out. You don't pull someone's clothes out of the washer.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I, one, I, I just didn't, uhm, because it was such a overwhelming part of my life, uhm, and because we, uh, you know, uh, share so much of our life with our audience, interact with our audience, we do streams, we have social media, stuff like that, I didn't want it to be


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The ongoing conversation everywhere I went. Uhm, and, and it's one thing like to let my friends know for them to be a support structure. It's another thing for me not be able to like get away from a large audience of people who want to tell me their opinions or want to know the information. How do you reload? Trying to tell them how to reload.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, and then also like there was like a part of like even the divorce that was involving like, uh, my work life that I just wanted to limit as well.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Actually, I was supposed to tell, I don't know if I should spoil this, because Blaine wants to tell the story at some point in the podcast at Roost Teeth, but uhm, I'll say this, Blaine was involved with my divorce. Oh, I remember that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. There was one mutant that he had a power that slowly deteriorated him by aging him at a rapid rate.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He killed me with a tommy gun. Same, same. I'm not really happy with our alliance. We couldn't even get two Deadpool covers. Despicable.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So that was the, the funny thing was when we went in, uh, we went to that Smite tournament, and at the same time they had the PC tournament happening, and then at the same time they had a console tournament happen for the first time, and then like the people who won the console tournament were all PC players.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And the ones who won the console tournament, basically when they got their award just took that as an opportunity to shit on how stupid it is to play FPS's on console and how easy it was. But they played with like a controller and everything? They played with console? They just said it was like the game, they took it as an opportunity to like shit on the players who play console.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's the airdrop. I mean, it's the bombs over in the clouds.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's not a place in this, there's not a dimension where this fat world wiki, oh lord.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You cannot agree with this though.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That was always my, uh, my stupid iPad skit idea I had. Did I ever tell you this one? Mm-mm. Or it was, uhm, it was every year I was always like, man, Apple always does it where they're like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The battery now lasts, you know, 9 hours. Battery's now 11 hours. Battery's now 35 hours. I was like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What about that one thousand dollar shopping spree? What are we gonna get? A thousand dollars.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Too uncomfortable? Yea, like if we were too uncomfortable we won't do it. Like that's just sort of the bottom line.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right. There's been a couple of times that like, people would pitch us a sales video, be like, oh man, it'd be really cool if you did this, and all of us were like, that's not cool. We're not gonna do that. So we just don't do it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Nice job, Lawrence. Thanks, man. Same with Blue Apron. Blue Apron's got soup. Yeah, yeah. Yep. That's true. We covered all our...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Who's a storm? Who won? So, well, the only people from Rooster Teeth that won were Ruby. Ruby. Ruby won.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, which obviously they deserved. Uh, but then 11 Little Roosters didn't win, Sugar Pine didn't win, their name was pronounced wrong, and then they also pronounced Cib's name wrong.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He was actually doing a pretty good job, but it was- LMAFO? It was Epic Lloyd from, uh, Epic Rap Battles. And, uh, and he'd written a whole rap battle for like, the entire show. Cool. And it was, it was actually kind of cool, up until he got to the Sugarbind 7, which was, it was obvious that, it was kind of like, oh well, he went, he went sugar-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Show of the Year is the one that you can do retweets for. But like the other ones are votes and I logged in to do it and I was like, I don't, I can't vote in good conscience for this stuff because I've never watched it. So like I'm not going to sit there and only vote for the people I know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've lived a rich life though, yeaah. Continues to. Yeaah. I'm your host and professional advertisement reader, Lawrence Sontag.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Joined by, oh, you don't have to clap, I'm not, that's okay. Oh, you guys, too much, too much, you're just devaluing it now. Some stories. Not as many, mostly video game related. And I'm joined by the fantastic Willems, starting with the radiant Elise Willems. Hi.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I have no idea my adjective. And the story-packed James Williams. Hello, James.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I also have a spooky candle. The spooky candle's here. Is that for Halloween? It is for Halloween. Which is like three weeks away. That's also because I got this big ass candle from Bethesda to promote Evil Within 2, uh, because I'm a games journalist. Oh, which by the way- Do we have all the Evil Within stuff? Uh, not all here. Scattered to the winds.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Bethesda, God bless you, but I've been slowly getting rid of those items. So they sent us a bag of salt, a broken mirror, a stuffed cat, an umbrella, uhm, and various other- A horseshoe.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, for only five dollars you can get a starter Dollar Shave Club kit. It includes an executive razor, three trial size versions of their most popular products to help you stay fresh and clean, and you can get 15% off with free shipping and free returns by going to movement.com slash dude soup.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Which yes, need to get everyone a movement watch.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Nice, yea, nice little flickering, uh, little light cast upon. What are you, what are you warding off with that? Me? Yea, mostly Elise. She's uh, she's terrified of fire.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, but she's not terrified of indie games, to wit. Uhm, I present to you guys a choice. You can- we can either play, uh, s- Sile-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, well, that was, that was the only, uh, intense thing I heard. Oh wait, no, fuck that, first. Get out of here, Yono. Hold on.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We're gonna open this with something special for you guys. Yes, and you have, you have me to thank, so make sure to do that profusely. Uhm, I have the best news. I went out and did some games journalism. That's right. I drove all the way to, well no, someone drove me all the way to Universal City Walk. But you paid for it. Yes I did.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I didn't tell him to run that red light. I just chose to, cause I was so excited for a futon. So here's the deal, uh, here I made a cool stinger and everything, so welcome to


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, before, a brief prelude to the games journalism.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, uhm, someone drove me, sorry. I got lectured all about the 60s and how graphic design is a dying field.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's why he's driving left now. Anyway, uh, so I went to Universal City Walk. It was a huge, a huge Mario, uh, event from Nintendo. Thank you for the invite. Uhm, got there and then they handed me content guidelines that said you can only use four minutes total and two minutes in each individual clip.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was planning on running B-roll under the whole podcast. The podcast is a lot longer than four minutes. So here it is, half of your games journalism extravaganza. Me playing Mario. Uhm. So enjoy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I think so. I would guess that if enough Goombas link together, that they then can form some Ultra Goomba.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, I rolled my eyes very hard, but I don't think anyone was looking at me. Non-verbal though, right? It was non-verbal, I'm sorry. So that's already better than most games journalists.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I agree. It was very fun, but it did only last about three and a half minutes. I also got to play it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm part of the system. Oh, I think it would be fun, on this moment, the most Mario of days, to celebrate our history with Mario. Or rather, if you can, try and remember what the very first memory you have of a Mario game is.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Or, or maybe another special event that is tied to a Mario game releasing or playing or something like that, because for me they've always been...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, I have many. Uhm, cause, you know, game journalism and all. Let me think. I remember the first time I saw Mario, it was actually in an arcade cabinet.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Something that, uh, this'll date me, but, you know, you gotta have a bank of years under your belt to be the world's premier games journalist. Uhm, there was a time, before the internet, when if people didn't tell you something, you didn't know it existed.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And that was kind of video games for me for a long time. I think my daycare had an Atari 2600 because I remember seeing Pitfall. I think it was the very first video game I ever saw. But apart from that, it was just arcade machines that were at the local skating rink.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, I remember at one point they did, they had uh, Super Mario Brothers, like the arcade machine.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I was transfixed. Cause yeaah, it's like, it was the first game I remember where the second level looked entirely different from the first. Uhm, cause at that time like every platform was just like run to the right.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And maybe the sky is red in this level, and maybe it's blue, but it's a clear, it's just a pallet swap, like it's not a new, new location. So that was like, to me that was a big moment when I realized, oh, games can be entire worlds that have a lot of creativity in them. As opposed to just jumping over things that can kill you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes, the original Super Mario Brothers, which had an arcade cabinet, and then a port of which eventually hit the Nintendo Entertainment System.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This has never come up, but we're old friends.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Was us and another friend of ours going to this other guy's house and just playing, uh, Mario Kart and Super Mario 64, like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know, it's just a cool way for us to like, really connect. Just spending all that time. That was the Xbox.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But it was fun just to be, you know, just to be a part of it. Yeah. Just to have people want to hang out with you. To be accepted for a brief moment. Yeah. I understand. I, uh, the only other strong Mario memory I have, I think this was like in 2007, whenever Mario Galaxy came out, I remember that


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right then, my computer fucked up big time. Turns out I had like a faulty stick of RAM, but that sort of thing takes a long time to figure out. It happens. Yeah, it's just crashing randomly. And you know me, I, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Certain people need certain things to be happy and functional in this world. Maybe it's acceptance from other humans, maybe it's food. Maybe it's right amounts of sleep. For me, my computer has to be in working order all the time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And if it's not, then that pretty much takes top priority out of everything I do. So, uh, I remember troubleshooting it, and like all the lights were off in my apartment because, you know, it's morning when my computer's not working.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I remember like running memtest, and it was like scouting through all the fuckin' sectors of my RAM while I was playing Mario Galaxy, and thinking, damn this game's good. But it was just a weird moment, cause like everything was off, which is rare.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I, I could because it was, it was so pure and beautiful and there were no distractions. So it was like, it was like I was retreating into the womb a bit. Uhm, but Mario Styles. It comes up a lot with you. Yeaah, I do that a lot. I retreat a lot. I'm a retreater.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, well, uhm, let me, let me take the liberty of answering that, being the only one who's played the water level and captured it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Anyway. It's gonna be great. Fucking, Mario Galaxy looks awesome.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, it'll, now that we've mentioned it, it'll make double sense to the people who got confused, given that they... Anyway, here's the second clip. How long is this clip? Uh, we'll got here. Two minutes, and we're done. Two minutes and eight seconds. And this is all you played.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Why do those kelps have little masks? Uh, I think I do at some point. I mean, I'm-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, so I'm excited for this, uh. There you go. Nintendo paid me no money to say that, but they did. Let me stand close to someone who was dressed as Mario. I got in line to get my picture taken with Mario, but then they capped the line. And then I had to leave. Dejected.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Overpowering Super Mario Brothers Remix Jazz was playing over the last one, so you get this one nice and clean. This podcast is brought to you by Dollar Shave Club, who offers you a starting shaving kit for only $5.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That box has a lot of wonders inside and let me tell you about that. Inside that starter kit you get shave butter, which is kind of like shaving cream except it's clear, it's low profile, it doesn't gum up your razor quite as much. You get some body wash, smells delightful. You get one wipe Charlies, which are pre-moistened mint.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Flavor is the wrong word, because ideally you're not putting these in your mouth, but they are mint-infused wiping products to give you a nice, clean, refreshed booty hole. Imagine your butt on top of Mount St. Helens, ready to explode enjoying the mountain air.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That could be yours. And of course, since it's Dollar Shave Club, you get shaving products, you get the executive razor, which is a nice weighty metal handle, and a starter cartridge of razors, all for only five dollars. So everything you need to shave and then some, everything you need to be a dapper lad is included in this box. Uh, you can get that by going to dollarshaveclub.com slash dude.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Once more that's dollarsshaveclub.com slash dude. For just five dollars you get a whole kit. To be a, uh, a nice gentleman and have a mint butt.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's not something you should take lightly. So thank you Dollar Shave Club for sponsoring this podcast. Once more, that's dollarshaveclub.com slash dude. You should check that out and get your $5 starter kit today! Alright, we'll throw back to after the thundering music.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] For a nice little story from Bones. Take it away, Bones. Why is the music playing? Oh boy. Everything got fucked up. It wasn't the game audio, it was music. It's muted now. My bad.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I would love to live in a place where I was legally allowed to have that again.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Again. Yeah, I was livin' on that farm for a year, and I was shitting in that bucket.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You just, you throw it on your plants. Two years of shit! Two years, man!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Someone has done all the math, some nerd has put on the internet or something. Nah, I bet it's just more of a, that's an old world craftsmanship kind of thing. Once you're just good enough at it, you just know. Where I lived, they had it on a hill.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then every time it filled, they would just tip it into the bin below it on this hill, and they'd work their way down like stairs. Like dominoes? Dominoes of shit? Like yea, sorta. And then at the end of a couple years, you just toss it on the apple trees, and you're all good. I'm sure everyone can relate to this, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] 67 pounds. I may have cracked the stool. So it's, the trick is she's got that one like tucked behind the other. That's the hard part. Hmm. Cause yea, you can just, you can just, listen, it's not hard to just double up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In the effort of responding quickly to uh, to technical issues, I have a tab open with the hashtag dude soup thing up. Except it's not auto-refreshing. So all that stuff was caught in the tab at the top that said like, 50 new updates. Apologies about that. Back to elephants. Oh wait, no, hold on. Elise loves m- yea. Oh my- Elise. I knew you would know! No, no!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It is the fucking creepiest, darkest thing. It opens with his dad.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Listen, you always want to check your local listings to see when Mason comes on.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And you'll know you'll never miss that show provided you are keeping the time with an elegant.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, it'll- as long as you guys don't react overpowerfully to it, you're already doing that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Damn it. So the sitcom opens with a father trying to fuck his child. He didn't know his child was there. No, but he- Ad-Read. Give me like 90 seconds.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You'll never miss an episode of Mason with your trusty movement watch, which helps you keep the time. Very excited about my movement watch.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, they can complete your look whether you're dressing up or down. That's right, they look good with formal attire and casual attire. They start at just $95 too, meaning you can add some class elegance and old school charm to your wrist without breaking your bank. Uhm, they sell online, pretty much exclusively online, so you can't find them in stores and by that they skip the middleman, the retail markup.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Who needs brick and mortar anymore when we got the internet? Got Swede.com's and they got classic design, quality construction, and styled minimalism.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You can see, I like a watch face that doesn't have too much junk on it. Just gotta tell time, that's all you gotta do. Tell time and look good. And you can do that for starting at $95 and you can pay even less than that by using our code for 15% off by going to movement.com slash dude soup. That's with free shipping and free returns in case you don't like your watch or you find it doesn't match your style.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, one note on it, it's MVMT.com, so movement.com slash dudesoup.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] To get your 15% off, so thank you Movement, for the sponsorship, and thank you Mason, for all the laughs. Through the years. She's wearing a lot of laughs yet.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's exactly what Link, which is the name of the old man said. Did he? He said he's a 42 year old in a child's body. Because he literally is. And I'm a child in a 42 year old man's body. That's what the fucking character on this show said. It's so creepy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Anyways. It's the 70's man, people were opening their minds to new things. Thank you movement. It's just that Ariana Grande is really small, and I think people are.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, well, we got, we got some hot topics, uh, James saved a homeless lady. I did! Woah! Yeah. Uh, so this is last week.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There is a term for it because it happens so often, a people's ability to just ignore anything that's disruptive. There's like stories about people getting killed in New York, like getting stabbed to death outside of an apartment building with everyone with their windows open.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And everyone's just like, oh, someone else is handling it. And then somebody, within full earshot of 50 people, uh oh. There's Link. That's his buddy. That's his new friend, he's gonna go kill him. So a gentleman just walked into Mason's house wearing, uh, tight short shorts.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And a full yak sweater? Some kind of wool? That's a weird pairing. Parents do seem alarmed. That's good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because it might affect them. It's a fire. Oof. Well, uh, I guess we got- Black Panther trailer. On that note, yea, that Black Panther trailer, huh? There's that, um,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Something, well, who cares about it. CD Projekt may be in trouble. They wrote a letter about it. I don't know if you guys care about that. Cyberpunk could be in danger.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh yeaah. Is it a game? I started sweating, so. Is it in danger because it's not a game? It's not a game yet, no. So this is, there was a Neogaf thread that was posted about a month ago. I actually saw it when it went up and I was like, oh that's interesting.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So somebody's, uh, crawled through all of the ratings on Glass Door for CD Projekt Red.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, there's some, uh, wait, no, excuse me. It was a neograph thread posted because of this. Uh, Yong Yeh, I guess, posted a YouTube video. It's all not well at CD Projekt Red.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, basically going, this gentleman, uh, investigated a bunch of, uh, Glassdoor reviews, found that, uh, the reviews for CD Projekt were really low. Like, that the people who had worked there would not recommend it to friends, do not approve of the CEO, compared it to some other companies that all rated way, way higher.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, concerns is that CD Projekt's management is falling apart, that development stuff is not good, their morale is really low, all that sort of thing. Uhm, and this may explain why the game is taking so long. They have no DRM. Yea, they have no DRM. And the DLC is free. Well, on the subject of being able to diplomatically phrase things in a way that gamers like to hear,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They responded to it today, which actually I didn't expect them to respond to, so that's kind of interesting, but they did, uh, wrote this letter basically saying, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, we acknowledge there's gonna be churn in every development studio, and then they said, hey, we make games differently than everybody else, alright?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Maybe other people are cool with just making the same game over and over again, but we make games that no one thinks are possible. And they basically make the point that we're the ones trying to make the next kind of game.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And that's what apparently cyberpunk is trying to be. And that's not going to make everyone happy. Because it requires a lot of reinvention and a lot of hard work.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, so it's not that small. They said, uh, when they released Witcher 3 in 2015, they had 200 headcount. Uhm, which is pretty fucking big. For developers, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, 200 developers strong, and that was core of the crew of the studio. Since then we've almost doubled the headcount and we're still hiring. So they're at 400 now. And, and getting bigger. So I...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What do you think Ubisoft is at? Oh god, probably well above that. I would guess that each individual studio from Ubisoft and EA is about that size, but they have five or six of them across the planet.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So yeaah, I don't know, it's interesting. I find it fascinating, uh, to...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, game development is largely black box for us that just enjoy the end product. Uh, and it's easy when a game comes out and is beautiful and pristine and filled with content like Witcher 3 to think that all that stuff was like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, moments like these are kind of an interesting reflection of how something on the outside can be perceived differently than how it may be on the inside. And we still don't know. Just kind of have to hope, hope and pray that Cyberpunk exists someday.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But yea, at least I do give them credit for acknowledging and theoretically defusing the situation by saying something that's not ultra-definitive but still what a gamer would want to hear, which is that we're still making the best game ever, so just stay tuned for that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When, I think, if Adam were here, and I kinda hear Adam, cause he can be a little skeptical about it, I think if they ever see a PR game to be made, they'll make a statement. Yeah, not Bones, come on now. You have a name. Don't take it for granted.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] As you recall, Dyson Show took it last week. Uh, with his wonderful, wonderful and positive outlook on life and his amazing grasp on humor. Love him. Uh, this...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] For this week, I think it's going up against a single video. And there's like two or three other videos on this channel that are similar, but uh, this one's pretty special. And again, I apologize audio listeners, because this is a very visual sort of experience, so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No. Well, he did spit out some chunks of granola bars. Uhm, so this is, this is Cooking Show, by the video, or the channel Drunk Idol. I think we had to go at a few other ones, but that's pretty much the, uh, the winner. Is, is he foreign? I don't know. I feel like that might affect...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is he an American pretending to be this Italian, you know, lover or what is he? I don't know man. Alright. I don't know anything. It's just, it is what it is, dude.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Nice channel, cool channel bro. Uhm, so yeaah, there's just a lot of, some comments here, but there you go. Just a man chopping up some granola bars, sprinkling them down with some, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Some kind of sauce, who knows really?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Really vinaigrette, gotta spit that out, give it a little swirl, some sprays. It feels like, it feels like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Contact us, please! Alright, well, maybe that's what the plus is. I didn't watch the newest one. Dyson wins. Oh, look at that. He knew.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He wins! Oh yea, the internet's premiere comedian. Get Francesco out of here. Is uh, yep. Close that tab forever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, Dyson Show wins again. It's gonna be, it's gonna be an interesting task to unseat Dyson Show. You're gonna have to start making episodes now. It's netting very hard. Uh, now that we're rounding the end of the podcast here, let me do my Rooster Teeth corporate obligatory merch shoutout.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Normally I like to have these things here, but they didn't send them to us. So today we've got the baseball tee. It's a baseball tee with the Funhaus logo. That's not me. Who the hell is that?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is it as uncomfortable as seeing Mason get picked up by a potential pedophile? Oh, way more. Really? It turns out okay in the end. Oh, that's good. Spoiler. He gets raped. He made new friends, yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Turns out, well it turns out Mason was 35 years old, so no harm no foul. Uh, thanks, thanks everybody for listening this week. Um, apologies about some of the technical issues. Uh, here's a fun fact. I forgot to record it on the deck again. I picked it up at some point.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it's actually really hard to produce a show all by yourself, turns out. Ah well, whatcha gonna do? Catch us again next week when I get another swipe at hitting every button. I usually miss one or two, but hey, that's just exciting, right? Appreciate everybody for tuning in. We'll be back with a post-show if you're watching live, if you're not.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Thank you so much for listening, be it on audio or video or whatever. Uh, we got a lot of, got a lot of people to serve and hopefully we make them all happy to some degree. So thanks again, and we'll see you next week.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The one that killed Michael Jackson should be dirt cheap. This is the problem with the medical, with the medical programs in America.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's because they charge a le- Shouldn't capitalism determine that that drug is less popular now? It killed Michael Jackson. Oh yea, that's right. So the price should drop.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Talk about how dark your stomach is.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, we kinda talked about this a little bit with uhm...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Dan this weekend, uhm, and it's a Ridley Scott disc- There's some filmmakers who just like movies. They're not necessarily geniuses.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They are auteurs of their craft, but like, you're like, how's Ridley Scott able to make Prometheus and Alien?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know? How's he able to make Gladiator, but then also...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like other garbage. Like how does he do that?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it's because he just likes making movies. Uhm, and I think that George Lucas is that same way. I think he loves movies.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He doesn't get too in-depth into what about the filmmaking process he loves about it. You know, he's not a- I don't think he's a Christopher Nolan type who scrutinizes every single detail.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He just goes this is, which is a big thing when they, when this, the prequels came out and they were all CG'd.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's like, well if you watch any documentary about the making of Star Wars and you see how frustrated and how he almost died trying to manage all the practical aspects of filmmaking, no shit you'd want to do something where you could adjust a number in After Effects and get the solution you want.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, but I mean the dude, but the dude still makes kinda cinematic blockbuster things.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Also, it's not an article with an agenda, it's just commenting on a business, uh, like not acquisition, but a business development.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know, but I think what we can walk away from is saying, man, when you get angry first and then start looking for answers, it's always gonna make finding the


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Also the whole process, the way it works is super complex so then he makes the money and I honestly think that he would


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But for the next person that comes along, like, they get paid a month later, right? And it's alongside however much money they also get paid for the other videos that they put on their channel.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, I know they can, but that's relying on the creator to do that light work. As far as I know, there's no option in YouTube to say, monetize this, but send it to this chair.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't want you to think that you can't talk. One last thing that I think is worth pointing out is, which is accurate, is, you know, there is a certain hypocrisy in the ads. Like, like, whoa, we don't want to advertise on controversy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But we're totally okay to advertise on controversy, you know, like, people have cited South Park as an example of it, it's like, we don't want our money being spent this way, to be advertised, unless it's a really big audience, in which case we totally want. And that's just...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That is true, and it's right to be frustrated with that, but that is, man, a fucking facet of life. If you got a big enough audience, and you got enough eyes on you, then...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Anyone will look past your content to get a little piece of that. It doesn't matter what you say the moral compass of your company is, you know, you'll get on board if it means that you're gonna sell more Chevy's.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I would say there's, the Jimmy Kimmel Show has an obligated number of pieces of content that they have to put out to the web, and it's sold. The sponsors of this podcast?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Didn't know what the topic we were going to be discussing this episode was before they said we want to buy ads on that. I imagine that works the same way. Someone...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, either got lucky or unlucky, depending on how you think of it, and now their ads are running in front of a Jimmy Kimm- Jimmy Kimmel video, which is getting a ton of views, but is also very controversial and, like, about a tragedy. But, that ad was sold... six months ago?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I'm sure there's, honestly I'm sure there's wording on, uh, NBC's end or ABC's end or all these networks end that say, that's just how our sales team works. You bought inventory, so, you know, you just ordered Jimmy Kimmel Show. Maybe you ordered Jimmy Kimmel Show monologue, but this


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's why sometimes it's better to not get angry first. Let's investigate, let's see why before we really start picking our villains.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You gotta be kidding me. I hope and pray that this is just some kid.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because things are different when you make them for a portion size of 1 million.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This has also been like kind of the culmination of what has been an ongoing, thus far ongoing harmless joke that Rick and Morty fans are somehow better


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So the reason they included it is because it's funny. The idea of someone thinking that that is important to them is funny. And it probably comes from a place of truth where someone walked in and was like, man, you remember that moulin sauce? Oh yeah, I do. They should just package that. And then someone went, no they shouldn't.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then everyone laughed, and then they had it, and then they were like, okay, well that's a good joke, that's a good attribute for a character to have, because it's true.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I thought there was an interesting statement about how an audience can like, not miss the point, right, cause I'm sure they laughed cause they thought it was funny and that's the initial thrust is I hope people find this is funny, but like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Based off what Justin Roiland and Dan Harmon have said about this, it really seems like there's a weird...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Term for when you do something and it's almost always comedy, but you do something and then people


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Misinterpret it in their own personal way.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then they become like, in this situation, obsessed over it, they disrespect others in the face of it, when it all was just supposed to be a joke.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's what Bill Waters says. I mean, it happens to us. It happens to us where, Brucell say that Disney princesses are fat. Oh yea. And then sss, you know, most people understand that it's, the reason they're laughing is cause it's not true and it's a joke. But, some people will go, oh, misogyny is what the joke is.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And that's not the joke. You know? The joke is the fact that they're not fat. The joke is the fact that we're idiots for acting that way and thinking that way, that's what makes it funny, but some people don't know what makes it funny, and then they just focus on what the statement is. I don't know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like at a certain point you need to hit a certain number of episodes. Otherwise, no, it doesn't think it's worth buying it. Yeah, but four seasons is a good amount. There's short seasons.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well yeaah, but that was, that was more along the lines of yeaah, uh, it's generally the people who have the money to make your show go, we will make your show, except you're gonna make it for, not next to nothing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're gonna be paid to create and do stuff, but you're gonna make this show for not very much money, you're not gonna get rich off of it, unless it becomes unfathomably successful and then we'll talk.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well I mean also, we know too, sometimes you're like, well, we'd rather have money that goes to the ability to make more cool stuff. You know?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] All weather shorts. That's what I got. I got all weather shorts.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Locked his dog in his car for a training session that is at least, uhm,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] At least an hour long. In the heat, this is the summer. Basically a garbage person all around. He, uh, had another run in with him. At last we spoke with him. He told me that the signs were on the way. For the no dropping signs. And when I called the 24 hour fitness they said they had no idea what he was talking about.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I arrive and then there's two other dudes doing deadlifts, nice, uhm, and by the time I arrive they finish one set and the trainer's already over there. He's already over there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, uh, and so then I just observe. I was gonna go approach them and go, he does this, he just does this. And he lies about science, don't worry about it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They were like, they seemed pretty pissed off, and then they left. And I was like, ah man, I can't believe he pushed these guys away. What a dick. They came back. They came back with the manager. Oh wow, finally!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Who, they come back and they set up and the manager goes over and now the personal trainer is back with his client and he, and the manager comes down, squats over him and goes, what's the problem here? These guys are allowed to drop their weights.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, uh, so then ultimately he goes to the thing, then the manager gets up, uh, and then walks over to the guys and he goes, what exactly were you doing there? Oh, we were doing deadlifts.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And the guy goes, but sometimes they do come in, and then I like, I'll do clean, I'll do cleans, and I'll like, you know, lower it, but sometimes I will drop it if it's heavy. And the guy goes, it's okay, the rubber weights.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I appreciate you saying something because he basically harasses other people in the gym and he can go anywhere and do anything he wants to.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, cause Omar was on this podcast and he was like, you could just set a program to do that. But then he was like, wait, no, the title changes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's got great spirit, he's got a lot of jokes, but his quantity more than quality.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I wonder if he's gonna make a joke about Trump. That's Nevada. No, no, that's not his style.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You guys will be gone for a couple weeks. I'll be gone for like three weeks.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, for the man of the hour. James Willems, everybody. There he is. James Willems. James Willems, everybody. Look, there's burn-in on my pits.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wow. That's a really old shirt though. I've worn this so much, yea I've worn it so much, that it's not even bleach can battle my pits.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Two AI marrying each other, doesn't bother me. Person marrying AI, doesn't bother me. What happens in your bedroom, doesn't affect what happens in mine, unless you're me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But the other game was about driving through mud. This one is too. So that's not really branching out. Yeah. We spun off your favorite aspect of the driving through mud game.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know. I don't know about that. You go into YouTube comments, you find a picture of someone who has like a Stewie Griffin avatar who calls you like a bald fuck on YouTube and then you're like, who is this asshole? You click on him and he has 25,000 subscribers on his channel with one Cod video from 18 years ago.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, never, cuz it was my job god damn it, and I did it. The only problem is I left that job as soon as I could, because you have hyper burnout on something like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think that's more the case. But doesn't YouTube already has a farm of human beings that watch it to cut out all the videos of people cutting their dicks off that are being uploaded, right? Yeah, well yeah, I mean machine learning plus people. There are people who are manually cutting off dicks. Wasn't that like a thing? Like people have written horror stories about


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, it was my job to wa- like, I- they have this YouTube job where you go and you watch YouTube videos that get like, like flagged basically, and it's all the horrific stuff that just happens, like people upload videos of themselves doing horrific things, and- but they only let people work that job for like six months.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Before they, before they let them go, or they say that's as long as you're allowed to work because it just destroys your humanity. It's like being an underwater welder.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] God's okay with that. Is that okay? Because you didn't destroy the hymen.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Man, the thing is, it's kind of a cop-out, but it always comes back to, Jesus Christ, if you just let your kids just do whatever, like watch, if you let your kids trust their own instincts, humans are inherently garbage. And always find something like this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Let me, let me throw this out here. Skynet only dropped the bombs because they knew that humans inevitably would destroy themselves.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Where'd that mud go? I wanna see that mud squeegee. So what if this is just human evolution taking place? That giving control to the robots is only taking us in a direction that leads to our ultimate demise in a more efficient manner.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's a certain scope that opens up and opens up and opens up, and the original scope was, hey, if it plays on one of the three radio stations, kids are gonna hear it. What can you do? You can't stop them. Then it became television. Find the intro.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Now just imagine, I don't remember there being a coast.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Not good parenting, but society as a whole has to play, is like, as long, you know, people are gonna consume what they're gonna consume, as long as we give them the tools that they need to determine what is right and what is wrong, then when they come across these questions, they can...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They can make a judgement call for themselves. So they see, uh, Peppa the Pig with a knife to her throat and they know, oh, okay, this is, this is bad. But they see Peppa Pig and she's like helping a friend across the street, then it's good. But, uh, changes clothes, uhm, several times.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, but, uh, it's, it's weird. Now with YouTube, when they're, like Lawrence is saying, are robots generating videos faster than anyone could ever view or monitor, and there's so many devices out in the world, it's tough, it's tough.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It may get there, but if we want to do it for a force for good, there'd be another algorithm that works within the first algorithm, and then it's like, there's a shooting in Texas, and then right below that is a like, read story, hide story, uh, call your


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, or like, like, here's the date for the next local elections.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But the string, I can't tell cause the quality is, but the strings don't look very thick, and she's strumming it, which you don't normally see. We gotta go back to mud. It's this kind of musical, uh, innovation that you only get in Fred Penner's place.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, but we don't wanna, we don't want, there's an open house thread that we need.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, well there's multiple. Oh, there's another one. This is like the five little children dressed as cops. It's all muddin' and wranglers. Dressed as cops, muddin' and wranglers, dressed as doctors. Go to that butt shot.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is this- those are man's legs, right? Yeaah. As normally you don't think-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's tough. Maybe he had an injury. He gave up on what is arguably the easiest. Oh, do you think he was affected by the drought? Oh, maybe. There's no mud left for me to stomp in, it's all sand! It's just dry dirt.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Struggling in thick mud and ostrich cowboy boots. Because ostriches are designed to put their head in the ground. Back in there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is a problem where you confront the things the robots have determined, the robots have determined who you are. No one looks in a mirror and sees themselves, they see who they think they are.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But robots are mirrors that show you who you are. That's the, that's the thing. You're a mud loving, uh, ostrich boot lover.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Nothing on the about page. Weird. So my only problem is he hasn't posted in two years. And I think, uh, true Hard Net and candidates see that this is like an outlet that they can't deny themselves. They have to share this with everybody.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If he had posted regularly, I would have gone cowboy WMZ, but I'm going to go with MarbleLympics.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What's the most recent MarbleLympics video? Can we see? Uh, let's find out. Woah! This is impressive. That- is this the most recent one? No. That's not true.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Great job Elise. Thank you. Hey Elise, high five. How many episodes of Gundam have you seen? Who? That doesn't exist.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm on edge, man. I'm a live wire right now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Everything's fine. Everything's fine. Everything's great. Hey everyone. Welcome to, uh, Spacefield Bulldozu. It's filled with wizards. Uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's true, it is. I am your, uh, I am your host and emcee, Lawrence Sontag, joined by many fine wizards, including James Williams. Hello James. Bruce Willis is back in the office. Magic betters stronger than ever. Bruce Willis is back.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What's a popular lease for your last name that I could substitute accidentally? The Release.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just like the real house. Thank you for joining the show, Elise. And thank you, viewers and listeners, for joining us this week. Boy, we got some cool stuff to talk about. Uh, there's, there was a headline that broke about Activision patenting some matchmaking stuff that's cool. But, cause I am, I am a game journalist extraordinaire. No, you're not.