[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Zer, which stacks, and uh, it costs you like three strange coins to get five of them, and you just pop a bunch of them, and before you kill a boss, you have a greatly increased chance of getting exotics.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I have a very good friend who is in the military, uh, he commutes an hour and a half to work each day, three hours because he commutes an hour and a half each way. He's got three daughters, loves Destiny, wants to do the raid with me, wants to do end level stuff. He can de- he could set aside four hours a week maybe to play Destiny.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right? He's gonna take him forever to get to the point where he has enough gear to go do the Oryx raid, right? But if he could, he can, as a dude who busts his ass and works hard, if he could pay $15 to be able to get into that raid just so he could have that experience with me in the four hours a week that he gets to game, I don't know that that's a terrible thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I wanted, I wanted a fantasy star for the Sega Master System, and it was like 90 dollars. And my mom was like, what are you, are you retarded? You know, what did I do wrong?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] At the end of the day, the world is a better place for Destiny being in it. I think we can all agree with that. The 200 hours I've put into that game. And if Destiny gets to continue to support, or Bungie gets to continue to support Destiny because you spent 99 cents on the Carlton, why is that a problem?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I wasn't prepared to talk about it, but I think I'm okay with talking about it. I think the buck stops at me. Gus, am I allowed to talk about my podcast?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hey! Uh, I think we're gonna go for a trial run. The plan is October 30th, Friday, October 30th. Ooh, spooky. For initially, probably first, uh, sponsors only on the site and then to a wider release, uh, date to be made later.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do you know who likes James and thinks he's like the god of comedy?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Two small children and a very large man. Uhm, humorous.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sponsors right now on RT.com, but uhm, uh, it is Bungie Day, 7-7. Yeah, that's right. Tell us what Bungie Day is, Lawrence.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, it is actually, it is nice that they do this still.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, so that's what we're talking about, we're saying happy Bungie Day, uh. Fuck Bungie. Oh, what? No, I would never say that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You can just control and clean it up real quick. That's what I was doing when I first started playing the game because I knew nothing about it. I was like, I'm just going to play it, it's cool, whatever. I want to get through the story. I'm like, oh, they're sorry. And then I realized there's no story. Okay, that's cool. They're basically like, you killed, uhm, the thing on Mars, I think.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Which is- Here's a gun, and then they ran off, and you're like, what the fuck? Which is good for multiple playthroughs. Uhm, yes. But the second playthrough I did, cause I did all that on PS4, now I'm on Xbox, cause we're all on Xbox, Xbox One. Uhm, so I was replaying it, I hit level 20 or whatever before I even uh- Oh, hey! What's up, guys? Hello, friends. That's an awesome shirt.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We were talking about how we first got into Destiny and how it touched us.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That was fun, man. Manicat time. I don't really remember what happened.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We're judging us, uhm. On the internet? No. Yeaah. No way. Like, look at these fools play the game and I'm like, I'm using a class I've never used before. Colton got the hunter, I got stuck with a titan, I might use, I've never played a titan before. So that was fun. Yeaah. I mean, I'm playing a hunter now, I'm not doing that good anyway, so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We were kind of getting into it, but also we were talking about how Destiny James plays it kind of like a mobile game. Like you would just like something on your phone.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, I don't know, but it's like, the game is best in moderation, basically. I wanna hit you in the face! God damn it! I wish I could moderate.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm trying to. I'm trying to actually get back into it now. So, Taken King comes out when? It's like next month, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I learned my lesson to that, I ended up just buying my own. Alright, about a router, I end up modem.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, uh, I was just telling you guys the other day, like, how...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] For how much it cost, it was not worth it. Uhm, so don't buy it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He likes being sad and paisley print. Anyway, I think we're talking about Destiny.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well going back to like what Bungie was saying though, like, I was kind of joking about it, but it's true. Anytime you call the game an MMO, they all cringe up and they're like, no, no, no, don't call it that. And it's sort of like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There is, I don't know what you call it, uhm, it's kind of its own genre, I guess it's like a, it's a,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] First person shooter that's light on content that you can continue to play for many years afterwards because it constantly rewards you like a mobile game would. Like a candy crush or something where you just, something goes off in your head and you go, ooh, that felt good. Uhm, I don't know what you call that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh. You're making Bungie mad. Good stab. Sorry.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's, it's a good sign of kind of where it's going, I like the, like a, I mean, no one wants to admit it, but we're basically beta testers, paid beta testers, because what this looks like, what Destiny is going to look like in 20 years, or ever, I mean, when we're all wearing VR headsets and have haptic gloves on and stuff, uhm,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's going to be totally different. Like it's, it's kind of crazy, but you can look back at a game like Destiny being like, oh, it's a stepping stone. It was a, it was a step in the right direction. Maybe it did a lot of wrong, maybe did a lot of right, but good kill.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, it's also one of those things that you always have to just kind of go back and look. Like, I mean, you ever watch, uh, Cosmos? Yeah. You ever see Neil?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I wanna say, I wanna say when Neil, he walks on that, uh, he walks on the calendar and he's like, here's the cosmic calendar. And he basically looks at the camera and goes, you are fucking nuts.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, obviously like everyone wants everything to be perfect and they want it now, but this is the gaming industry and it is still relatively young compared to like the motor industry or the movie industry, any industry. Yeah. It's, it's a relatively young thing and it's running me. Yeah. It's still trying to figure it out. Lots of Titan. Yeah. You're number one. This is awesome.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean even the, even this moment right now that we are on a podcast, this thing that didn't exist,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] 20 years ago, you know, like talking about a video game that is centered around video games while playing a video game, uh, discussing the video game industry is strange.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Ever since the advent of DLC or anything like that, people have been, there have been people upset, there have been people who are happy, who are saying thank god I have extra content, or fuck I don't want to pay for this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Regardless, I've always just called it, it's just growing pains. That's just, yeah, I hate thorn. Can I have a thorn? How do you get one?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's fine. Yeah, that's fine. The helmet allows me to zoom in.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I, I don't, I never thought of reading a book like that, uhm, I don't know why, uhm, and this is the first time I'm doing it, I'm just burning through it, like it's been maybe...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It usually takes me about a month to read a book because I'm just slow. Um, it's due to the learning disability, but, um, I'm just burning through this one and it's great. It's also kind of an easy read.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Easy. I'm reading through it thinking because I know Spielberg's making the movie.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I'm going through it, and I'm just like, this isn't going to be a very good movie, because it's just chock full of 80s references. I'm like, you can't license any of this stuff. I mean, there's a part, not- It's got Pilgrim Man, got all those references. I don't want to make a huge spoiler here. There's a part in the book where,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There is a video game that's based in a, a very popular 1980s movie. And you have to play the movie from first person.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But at the same time, Spielberg's the same one who did Minority Report, which is absolutely, I mean, it's similar to the book. Which one is it? Yeah, it's called Minority Report, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was explaining this to some friends over the weekend, I was saying like, Ready Player One is a guilty pleasure because it is uh, it is chock full of like, references and nostalgia, and there's like a moment where they're like, and he had a car that was a DeLorean, but it also had Ghostbuster stickers on the side, also Kit was there, and I was just like, what the fuck?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've just noticed as I've gotten older, uh, I don't see a lot of fireworks on the Fourth of July. I always end up being somewhere where there are no fireworks.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Man, but worse, right? Also when your butler's snooty.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We had that moment where, uh, Miles, uh, the head writer for, uh, Red vs. Blue was, uh, talking to Bruce, and he's like, Hey, we're having a voice actress come in. Oh yeah. And he said name and I'm like, look kind of familiar. And he's like, so she's coming in. She immediately started doing Sheila the tank and both, uh, spool and I looked at each other and we're like, oh fuck it's her.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's uhm, it's kinda, it's tough because you have to try, it's like to watch something early like that, you have to kinda remain unbiased, but you're like, remember walking away and going like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Now you're, you killed it. Like it's, it's really, I was actually really surprised walking away from it. You guys did, uh, a lot, it looks like you did a lot with a little, which is, uhm, I'm trying to think of the best way.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Either way, uhm, but, uh, you looked, uh, you looked good with the team. Like, it looked good, looked like a natural fit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're like, we wanna make Shenmue 3, and they're like, no one wants Shenmue 3, and they're like, alright, we'll, we'll go to your press conference, and we'll see who, like, we'll give you the best opportunity in the world. Like, you're gonna have millions of eyeballs on this, we'll do the Kickstarter, if it works, then we'll fund it. You think they're gonna like, match it, double it, something like that?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Fallout, they showed it. They showed a bunch of stuff we didn't expect. They even released a free game and they said, oh, by the way, it's coming out this year.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know, I mean, it was a cool moment where he's like, let me zoom out and show you all these stars, which...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're like, okay, that's not all there. It's, it's a bit of trickery. So it's like, you pick a planet and it randomly generates it as you go there, that sort of thing. And it's like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause all the plants and the water and everything kinda looks like the very first time we saw that game. So I'm like, okay, I get what it's doing. I understand it a bit more.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My fear is what people do is they project onto what they want and I've done a little bit of that. I'm like, I'm gonna go to a planet and I'm gonna colonize it and like, I'm gonna marry a woman and I'm gonna start a family and the guy's like, I've never said you could do it either. I'm gonna do it!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is a beautiful area though, I bet it was real pretty before the war, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] September 15th. I'm moving right now. So I, uh, last night I was fiddling with my router to get it. Cause I have like the, you know, the AT&T router, which is terrible. So.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I thought it would be like World of Warcraft. It probably would have gone quicker, but you know, some of the people that I was playing with were shitty. Not the greatest. I thought you played with Bungie. I do play with Bungie guys, but we also are nice and play with other people too, so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, new, you know, you get some new maps, but it, you know, it upgrades a lot of stuff and just basically lets you continue playing the game. You know, I mean, I know there are a lot of times where I was playing games, you know, when I was younger that I really liked.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I probably would have kept playing them if the game continued, like if another place would open up or something like that. And that's basically what they're doing. Uh, I think it's an interesting thing. Maybe they don't have it 100% down, but at least, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's right too. Anytime you, with any, anything, when you start like, getting out of the category and start changing it up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A monthly fee to have more TV channels, whatever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You can't really just talk, like, I don't walk around and go online and just post about how much I love Destiny.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, I'll be at a party. I was at a party the other night, and...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't talk about that with anybody unless they also like destiny. People who don't like it are going to run around and talk about that everywhere.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah. I thought, I like Dread only because of, uh, the cool killing somebody in slow motion. Yeaah. He talks to his gun.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Where's everybody going? Did you guys watch the women's soccer game?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But it did, it did. The guys, the coordinators and the special effects guys were all great on the movie. There were tons of explosions going off next to us.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, there's one thing where a guy shoots, you know, when there's, you see in movies when somebody's like running and you'll see like bullets exploding on the wall by them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, well, one of the ways to do that effect is to have a paintball gun that is shooting a ball that actually explodes. And so, I had to at one point run it to the wall, and they're like, yea, you're gonna run it to this wall, and then right here, in this little dot, he's gonna shoot a paintball, and it's gonna explode.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I met them, uh, through the lady who was casting Lazer Teen. And so she put me in touch with, uh, with Matt. And, uh, yeaah, we just talked on Skype because he was in Austin. And then, uh, I went down and shot the movie.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, uh, yeaah, it was great, but I had, I had before that watched Red vs. Blue quite a bit, and so it was pretty fun to meet, you finally see the guy who did the voices that Matt does. It's really weird, isn't it? Yeaah, it was definitely not what I was expecting.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There was a, there were coyotes one place that we shot. One night we were shooting and all of a sudden we heard like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He is like, first of all. He's not listening, keep him on. First of all, you know, always needs like a


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Anyway, Rocket Power was the coolest show because there's about a bunch of kids who didn't do shit except for skate around in their awesome coastal town and surf and just basically be awesome.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes, these are the characters you know, and yes, you're gonna love them. It was just like, yes, these are the characters you know. You know?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My, my rationale there is Tim Burton saw Prince as like a joker type. Playing, performing this character, you know, and uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, and uh, and so he was like, oh, so he'll be great for the music. That was, that's my...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Welcome to a, a bowl of dude soup with gender identity issues. Uh, doesn't know what it is, but it's fine with that for now. It's in college, it's experimenting, that's normal, dad. Uh, today we're talking about GTA 5 and mods that may or may not exist.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, it's basically like ENB, yes. So if you guys are unfamiliar, ENB mods essentially redirect all the DirectX graphics calls, and allow you to kind of tweak the saturation, the rendering. And the first thing that happens with all these games is that people put out really basic ENB settings. This happened with Skyrim. Also the FOV thing is installed, but we'll get to that in a second.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, uh, yeaah, there's, there's an ENB-like, uh, mod available for GTA right now. There's a few, like, presets you can download that people have figured out. This one that we have now just kinda dials up the saturation a little bit, ups the contrast, kinda gets rid of the... I don't wanna say washed out, but... The contrast is a little low? Sure.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So that's one of the things Adam brought up. He just like launched the game and was looking at some of the videos and he was like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, just to give you guys kind of a rundown on the state of GTA V modding, OpenIV? I don't know, it's a group of Russian, like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, and then three hours later, they broke it like an hour after it went to production, or it went to editing, so. Uh, at any rate, I said it, uhm, take a shot. Uh, so they've decrypted the files, which means now people can see all of the assets, but we're one step short of actually being able to change them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Make the new modified files look exactly like the old files to basically have the same file hash. Uh, so you know, that's where they're at now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, and as always, listener, if this talk has you all excited, use it at your own risk, because changing your FOV actually does give you competitive advantage on the internet.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's just, it does kind of amuse me how a game like maybe Skyrim will come out, or GTA V.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, they were basically talking about Bethesda. Bethesda's very sue happy. Like they sued over scrolls, they sued over a lot of stuff. Oh, Infection Forces you out, eh?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know what, uh, just as a brief aside, quite brief. Uhm, when this game came out, a lot of people rushed through the keyboards to say how outraged they were that the game didn't have a moral compass, and how unbelievable it was, and how reprehensible it is that you play as three, like, terrible criminals.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But there are points in this game where side characters...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Your son's like, why did you kill them? Normal people don't do that. You're a shitty person. Like he just outright tells you that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've been, I've been trolling around in the GTA V subreddits and the mod scene a little bit, and as you'd expect, it is packed to the gills with people just writing up the mods they want, and it's typically just like, it could have this, and it could have that, it could have that, and all I need is a mod team to join me and make it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But there's kind of two schools of thought when it comes to modding, which is kind of interesting. One is that it's, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause I've talked to some developers that hate speedrunners, but also some developers that love them. And the rationale's about the same. The ones that hate them are like, I can't believe they would take this work that people did and just destroy it in front of everybody.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I actually did that a lot. I remember all those like stupid little tiger handheld LCD games that took all of them apart.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, like cutting between the battle of Naboo and the lightsaber fight and the space fight. I was like, okay, this is almost a Jedi-esque, like, triple layer engagement. This is alright, this is alright.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't think Guardians was enough of a sidestep.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No matter where you got this podcast from or I guess specifically where you got this podcast from, it would help us out if you go on that service and leave a nice little review.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're on iTunes? Uh, you know, go leave an honest review. Don't, we are not gonna ask you to lie. But, uh, yeaah. Just, uh, click those little stars, write a little something. It can be about farts, that's okay. We should be on a tear today.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, it's like that, uh, it's that Simpsons episode where they, uh, they blame Homer for the, uh, sexual harassment. Uh huh. And then they're like, it was, uh, what is it, like rock bottom or whatever? Yeah. And they're, they basically edit the interviews. Oh, that's right. Makes sense. At the very end, they're like, they come clean and they want to make retractions.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's my hope, because he kind of, he walked by, saw Steven Detailer, he's like, what's up, and he just walked right by us, and as it should be, yes, we are nobodies, please continue with your life.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Essentially is leveraging three billion dollars worth of stock, uh, for like micro lenses.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That isn't good. And it's not good for the mass majority of people who want to capture the signal. For those who don't know, HTCP would not allow you to.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We had an actual direct influence on the industry and I was like, that was cool.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Drugs. Drugs are great. Can I talk about the old people? Sure. Can you tell me my story about the old people?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was mostly this Napa Valley attitude, uh, we went up there and we're eating food and this woman comes up to us, we're about to order.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, basically, like, leave me alone, I just came here for the free water. And...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So she goes, and then she starts talking to the conversation because she's like, oh cool, thanks, that's so nice. She goes, so where are you from? And my wife goes, oh we're from LA. She goes, we'll forgive you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I just die. Whoa. What? That seems a little hard. Naturally. Of natural causes. Uh, anyway, that's my old woman, sorry. That's it? That's it. Really? That's what she did.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I hate when, first of all, people come up to you and just sort of like this, like, people want me. They want me here. And you're like, please take the hint that I'm here with three other people that are not you and you shouldn't, there's no room for you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So like, you rent your car to other people. And I was like, okay, interesting idea. And I've been talking about it for a few weeks, like, oh, I can't wait to try this, can't wait to try this. My wife wanted to rent a Mini Cooper, so I'm like, okay, this is a good way we can do it, because you can at least pick the car, and it's a decent price, interesting.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The guy cancelled on us the day before we flew out. Why are you laughing at me?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I just booked the first car to find it, ended up being a Mustang, which I'd been wanting for a while to try it. But yea, it was a V6, manual transmission, which James hates. He thinks it's, you said it was douchey. What? I have no problem with manual transmission.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I grew up driving a stick though, so that was the thing, like that was just what I was used to, uh, growing up. And then I ended up getting automatic, but like, it's more fun to drive. I just feel like, I don't know. It can be. Let me set the record straight.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do I just touch it? Just go whip out a little bat screwdriver. There we go. Uhm, but I remember that like you just tap the gas and you just floor it. And I remember coming home, I was driving Jess's Corolla and I tried passing a car and it just felt really sad.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So it's, it's a, it's a weird thing, like, so Ubisoft is kind of the double-edged sword because they have those little spikes that birds can't sit up there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, but no, like, I mean, remember Assassin's Creed? Well a long time ago, before it was a yearly release, that was always kind of a weird, unique thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You can retexture the fight scenes. Going back to what we were saying before, we're like, we always kind of gauge, uhm, I hate using the term, the internet, but I always just hate the audience. They hate that too. Well, just the audience, the viewership of like, based on our news stories, we're like, okay, don't give a shit about Tomb Raider. That's kind of how I'm gauging it, and like, I almost gauge how sales are going to reflect based on YouTube numbers at this point.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What we always notice, Bruce you can back me up on this, talking about a sequel, talking about a sequel always, any, or a franchise with a built in audience will always do better than a new IP. Of course.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it's that sort of thing of like, I don't know what I want, but I want it to look like that thing. Do that, but do it again, but make it different.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What? We beat it. Absolutely not. Yeah, I'm like, there's nothing left. And they're like, yeah, but, you know, do it again. It's like, just go watch the video. They already watched it. Like, ugh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We were talking about this, I wanna say, last week or whatever the last, I forget whatever the title was. We Hate Remix. Uhm. Oh yea. But it's funny cause this- Oh the FAQ cast. Yea, I spent this entire weekend playing Majora's Mask. Yea, bud. And I, I mean I haven't played that game in 10 plus years. And I don't remember how to do any of the temples or anything, but I was like- Yea.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is a hard game. It's a lot harder than I remember.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was on a, uhm, I was doing the snow temple thing and like, I guess for those who don't know, like the game is on like a three day clock. And if you don't, uh, like every three days,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The world ends, but it's like every, what, hours and a second?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think later you get a song that like slows time down even further, but that's not until later. So I was just like, dammit, it's always tough in the beginning, but.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, you also had to buy the, like, the power pack or whatever with it? Was that, yeah, that was required, wasn't it? Yeah. Geez. The N64 needed, like, an expansion pack, yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I always thought like, oh, Majora's Mask remake, that'd be great, that'd be great. And I was never really excited about it. And then it's like, once it's in my hands and I go, oh yeah, this is why it's good. This is why like, I do like certain remakes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, I usually don't like going back and playing old games, but like we were doing Halo, the Master Chief collection.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You do kinda get like, the nostalgia kicks in, so like, Final Fantasy, I'm not excited, really, until it's in my hands.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think it's, that's actually one of the things I, I, I hate comparing video games to books or movies or anything because it is always a different personal experience and it's usually like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's 10,000 things going on right now, I don't really know what's going on. Ooh, but someone got stabbed. Now I know what's going on.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And you, you, there's enough there to keep you going, but there's enough subtext that you can kind of go back and go, oh, that's what that meant. And like, it's a different type of storytelling, but it's not something I'm going to go like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Where did our perceived value of video games come from?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In my opinion, it's worth whatever people want you to pay for it. And you can beat it in three hours, but who cares?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right away. Yeah, I don't know where the- Do we just compare it to movies? Is that it? But was Portal 1- Could you buy it standalone?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I, uh, I depressed the shit out of Lawrence the other day when we're, we're at the YouTube space and we're just hanging out there and I was saying like, yeah, I don't think cyberpunk's gonna happen in our time because we're living in this golden age.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, I'm pretty sure I'm gonna have kids. Thanks, Yvonne. I don't know. Maybe, I don't know, I haven't tried yet.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So this is a long way of us saying that we have done this in the past and the majority of what we said came out to be true.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, sort of, kind of. Look, I also didn't go to business school, but my understanding is, uh, the valuation of the company is not, is, is ten times worth what their, uh, or the, the buying price is ten times worth the valuation.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, I mean, that's my response to, well, is the audience even interested? I think, if it's a good product, if it's really cool, it's, and it hits the right way, uhm, then yeah, obviously people will be interested in it, because like, they're interested in all these dumb indie games, they've never heard of before.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes. Uh, I thought they were gonna do World at War 2. Really? Yeah. Did you actually really think that? Absolutely not.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I love how Call of Duty could do anything they wanted.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How is this going to change the fact that you're basically


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] AI minions to kill. It doesn't have to be a MOBA, but I'll be damned if it doesn't, if it doesn't just, woah, yeah, one, uhm, we played, uh, we played Killing Floor, and so I like the option to work as a team against AI opponents.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, so I like having, there's way, we figured out that there are ways to play games and enjoy yourself in a team based environment without necessarily getting all the kills. And I still feel like Call of Duty's basic game mode is just like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Whoever's the fastest, whoever plays the game the most is, is going to be the most beneficial member of their team. Kinda basketball mentality. You have, if you have a LeBron James, you can possibly win a world championship.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's like, well what are the other four guys on the, on the court for?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They also, they also sold toys that were basically Capcom.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, yeaah, I think you picked one, I know this will be easy. Uhm, uh, it was riddled with...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The, uh, the glitches, it was, so what, there were two, there were three versions, I think, of Mortal Kombat 2 in the arcade.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And the first version, I think was just like, not unplayable, but that was just the first one that rolled out. Then there was version 2 and then version 3. Version 3 was basically all fixed, but version 2, you could play as Johnny Cage, right? You can do Johnny Cage's, uh, friendship.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Over and over and over and over again. In the same game, right? So you do it, you get to the end of the match, you start to do his friendship, which I think was back, back, back, low, back, back, back, low kick, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm gonna hit you with my number two Mortal Kombat memory. Go for it. Uhm, my mom, unlike your parents, failed.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, she also, we had explained to her that that was the one that was gonna have the blood in it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is kinda cheesy, but it's kinda fun, and for Mortal Kombat it's pretty good, but you probably wouldn't be able to get through all of Annihilation.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I was just thinking that it's DLC bro. You have to buy it? It's DLC bro!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I uh, I was just thinking like, it's like Mortal Kombat X and it's coming out and I'm excited for it and I'm like, yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm excited for Mortal Kombat again, alright! And it makes you feel like the game went through a lull, but it never really, nothing it ever did ever went through a lull, like it went through a strange period where it was trying new things, but I was like, I own Deadly Alliance.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, it ended up resulting in one of the best, like, superhero fighting games, if not the best superhero fighting game of all time, which is Injustice. Like, oh, that's actually, that's a bold statement given all the Marvel versus Capcom games.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, more comments and porn for every birthday. I have parents who are very, very, very open with me to do like, like, like, you figure it out, right? And here I am.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, put yourself in the shoes of a 16 year old kid. Like, I'm trying to remember back when I was 16. And back then they didn't have Netflix, Hulu, all those other things sitting on my television waiting to be used.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well sorry, I mean basically the, I guess the bottom line of this lesson learned is, put your game on Steam. Because then, you know, how many people have Steam now?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's what I mean, like, there you go, that's the easiest way to put your game on Steam, and then you can push updates, make it $10, and, you know, not nearly as many pirates will do it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, so I'll take the business perspective. What you said is like, you know, drop the price through the floor. Uh, a lot of businessmen are saying, well, if we do that and that lowers the value for every game on the market and we don't want to do that, we don't want it because it's bad for the market, is what they're saying.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Games are still sold at $60 and it's still working because GameStop is still in business and still making billions of dollars. So it's like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We're close to it. We're probably a couple, you know, three, four years away from it getting there, but, uh, but we're not there yet.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, you know what though? The PC gamers knob. But that makes sense because those are the only pirates.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm still, I'm still trying to figure out then, the pirates are on PC, so they spend a bunch of money on their PC. Where games are... But, they're downloading pirated games. I guess that's my confusion, is like, well so maybe they blew all their money on a computer and then they can't buy games?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And what's the deal with all their peg legs? I'm just trying to figure out who's pirating and if this is even an issue. It's still an issue. As much as we, as much as a lot of people think.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know what, it's funny, I'll speak to the red light cameras versus piracy, and the reason is because piracy actually affects industry and capitalism, whereas the red light cameras do not. That's all the government


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Officer is right here. Uh, another question I had about the story was that like, Shams Jorjani, if, if that is your real name, if they were updating, they were updating their game a lot on purpose. Oh yeah. Like if they were leaving little things out so that they could prevent piracy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Also, the views were very high for the first one. So, we didn't see any drop off of views, and that is our very first point of contention. So if we see something drop in views, we're like, alright, we probably shouldn't make any more because somebody's watching it. That wasn't the case with these, these, uh, corrupt ROMs.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, and that's not, that's what we're trying to say is there's a lot of different feedback from the community.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, no, you're totally right. I'm gonna blow all your minds though. I already knew that. And when you guys were talking about doing this prep thing, I was like, you know what? I think it's a good idea only because...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] One of those kids is like 14 years old. Maybe he has a game called floppy hair.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He was across the street whenever I had to run because I thought somebody was at my house and I was in my underwear at one o'clock in the morning. That's a different story.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That was a big deal. You know, most people, uh, boom, there it is.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Most high school football phenoms end up selling used cars or something, but not in West Monroe. We grow doctors. That's right. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You don't know where to go with OJ. God rest his soul. We hope, uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A bunch of people cooking crawfish is like a couple thousand dollars.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it's important to stay regular and to stay healthy to be regular. So it's important that we take supplements of the highest quality. And that's why we've been partnered with AG1. How long have we been drinking AG1, Phillip?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, and unlike a lot of those other brands of supplements, AG1 conducts a bunch of testing to set the standard for purity and potency, and it's researched and developed by an in-house team of scientists, uh, doctors and nutritionists. Are you a scientist, doctor, or nutritionist?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Negative. So how are we supposed to know? That's why we go with AG1 because they've got decades of experience in their field.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Quality for AG1 isn't just a buzzword, it's a commitment backed by expert-led scientific research, high-quality ingredients, industry-leading manufacturing, and rigorous testing at each step of the process. AG1 goes above and beyond industry standards. Philip, you've made a pack right here, it's that easy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yep. And we know we can trust what's in every scoop of AG1 because they obsess over product quality, the standards of manufacturing partners, and sustainable practices. Taking care of your health shouldn't be complicated. And that's why AG1 simplifies this by replacing multiple health supplements like multivitamins, digestive aids, immune support,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And more in just one scoop or travel pack. Philip already did all that while we were doing this ad.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's important for me. Look, we've been partnered with AG1 for so long because they make such a high quality product that I genuinely look forward to drinking every day. So if you want to replace your multivitamin and more, start with AG1. Try AG1 and get a free one year supply of vitamin D3, K2, and five free AG1 travel packs with your first subscription.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] At drinkag1.com slash duck. That's drinkag1.com slash duck. Check it out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I thought you were saying OJ. I'll say it. He got away with it. He, hey, God rest his soul. The juice is no longer loose.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The best is the underhand method for me. You just, you let the car do all the speed. Well, the best one is if you're driving, you're driving.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He did some things. He made some moves. People, uh, people listen. So either it's the greatest hoax of all time and boy were they committed to the bit, you know, when they started boiling them alive.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, that's my favorite point to make when, when talking with people, because we often, you know, Jesus came to give us a bunch of rules and God's got all the rules. Oh, he didn't.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just looking out for you, bro. Turns out if you just pick woman and stay with her and don't get involved with others, your life's better.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Turns out, if you're a good neighbor and you're not lying, cheating, and stealing from people,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Life's better. It's this weird thing where it's like, man, why is he giving me all these rules? Oh, just to make your life better.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Two Corinthians, one twenty.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hey, quit chewing in the microphone. Good night. Oh man. It is delicious. It is a healthy snack.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like you couldn't tell nothing. You couldn't tell who was driving. That's how it used to be. Now they would have had, it'd been like, and then OJ would have been live on Instagram, tell you, I didn't do it. Allegedly.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hold on, I kid you not, we got an email the other day, I don't know where it's at. Somebody else's grandma got got in Kentucky by the exact same thing. The police can't even tell who's in the car, so maybe we wouldn't know if it was OJ these days.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I mean, it's just a shame that they're killing all these poor, innocent creatures. For sport. For sport. Have y'all ever seen that? Yeah. All them lib-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't even like my neighbors' dogs. I'm terrified of a buffalo. I'm afraid of horses.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, on the winding road. Yeah. Are we to the point where we can pull off Jurassic World?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like in real life, could we do it? Could we do what? Jurassic Park.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If they were here. There's six movies detailing why it's a terrible idea, but could we do it? To quote the movie.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, we never stopped to think about if we should. Yeah. Dr. Ian Malcolm said we, we, we were so worried if we could, we never stopped to think if we should, but could we? Cause I'm for it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm just saying, trust, like let's keep it to the- Oh, so you're like-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I would just love to know if we could do it though. I think, I think it's out there. I don't think we could handle it. I don't think we could handle it, but I think it's out there. I think the technology is out there and I have a new favorite.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I want the government so far away from this. This is a for-profit organization ran by a billionaire somewhere. Like Elon Musk needs to be in charge of this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Anyway, hello at Duck Call Room. I have a new favorite segment. We've never done it, but Wyatt emailed in. He's from Denver, Colorado. The subject line. Am I a redneck?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I would love to judge all of our fans on if they're rednecks or not.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So if you're curious on if you are a redneck or not and would like


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He thinks he is. The people around him say no. Denver, Colorado area. I don't know what that means, but I'm guessing he's somewhere near that airport that's up to no good. Um, he's currently in an ongoing argument with his coworkers. Oh, they think he is a red. His coworkers think he's a redneck. He doesn't cause he's from a small country town. He loves to hunt and fish.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He also has some stories that they say are redneck. He didn't share those, so it's hard to say.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He loves the big city and heavy metal music. That is not good for redneck. That is good for sitting behind the computer in a redneck room. Uh, sports, that doesn't make a difference. He loves going to other big cities.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He strongly dislikes the small town life. He'd much rather be in a suburban neighborhood instead of a ton of land.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Based on this information is, your name's Wyatt, first off, but would you conclude if he is redneck or not redneck?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Redneck. Hunter's a redneck.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do y'all really want the- That's a corridor. Yeah, fuck word. The Webster's definition is offensive.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm just gonna stare in the camera for a second and say this, that makes it false. Of the Southern rural laboring class.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Beth might be a redneck. There's people from Saskatchewan for sure rednecks.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do you know how many black men I know that's all I need to say about the white part.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think he grew up redneck and he's trying to run from it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hey, get the bible bird. This redneck's gotta go see a football star high school football player. Second Corinthians redneck.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They sent us free stuff a while back. They did. And I liked it so much that I actually am paying for it now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Real quick question, we have all done the Oculus before, correct? Yes. Yes. Yes. Had anyone here done the Oculus with the treadmill, like, dimple thing? No. So I haven't done it either, and so I, so maybe that will blow my mind.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The thing about, so yeaah, the thing about the Oculus demos that I had done previous is that


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You were in, I mean, there was like a demo where you were in this like snowy magical castle realm, uh, and then there was like a hellscape one, and it was just like a big environment that,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The things that I think that the vibe did so well, and it sounds like Elite Dangerous does is, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] VR works best when there are limitations placed on it. That makes sense to your brain.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right, and, and to make it clear how exactly, well not exactly how it works, but the, the reason it works like that is because in addition to the headset, uhm, the Vive has, did they call them what?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, real space, uh, stuff into the demo. So like they had the table, and then all of a sudden Minecraft was on the table. Or, you know, and you can play with it there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But the art program is amazing and like watching a Disney artist like play with this thing for the first time and like draw the little mermaid or whatever in three dimensions in like life size was super cool!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, way more money than they should be to make a product viable. Because, like, those early adopters are the ones that finance the next generation, the next round of, you know, innovation.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'll be honest, I've never been legitimately turned on by a video game. Ever. Really?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think, I think, I think people will take VR vacations. Yeah. Yeah, for sure. And I don't mean like a day off from work. I mean like, I think people are gonna take VR vacations.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Here's, here's what 360 degrees viewing would be cool for, just as an example.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That is literally the first thing I thought of when I saw the Hololens demo from Microsoft's C3 presser was like, oh my god.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So a couple things, I don't think it's possible yet. I think you're right that like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Having total interactive control of the narrative with a, maybe with some sort of ending that everybody's happy with is impossible as of yet. But again, imagine a future in which AI is so good that the NPCs aren't programmed. The NPCs are actually AI, like actual AI that can then generate an ending.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Based on your, like, individual decisions, and everyone literally has maybe a different ending.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, for the time being, I think what could work would be something more like a choose your own adventure, where there be, in a choose your own adventure novel, you have to make binary choices.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Highly narrative game doesn't work as well as a high- like as a- as an emotional responsive but good gameplay game?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Good emotions and maybe not the greatest narrative is because you're


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You would be interested, there's a Neil Stephenson book called The Diamond Age, and one of the characters in the book, uh, her job is basically to sit in a studio, kind of, and, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, I'm sure that's the same thing that people said when, like, Walkmans or, like, Transistor radios were a big thing. I've read, like, parents when transistor radios came out were like, We used to sit around and listen to the wireless and Franklin would talk, Dylan Roosevelt would talk to us and now these kids are like sneaking off to Hilltops and listening to rock and roll.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I ain't got, you don't take a lot of pictures. I ain't got me a love me room. You know, my pictures everywhere.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was right near to panic mode. Yes, I was losing everything around him. That's right, cause it was about 30, maybe 45 minutes and Philip wouldn't call me back. And I'll see him.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, but wait, there's more. I don't care. I just don't like hospitals. And then what'd you do? Okay. Went and played poker. Huh? Well, no, no, that was a Sunday night. Hey, look, I was going to be alone. So I wasn't used to cancel the poker game. You don't want to do that ever do that, JD.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's what's happening to me this weekend, okay, and I was this close, okay, to losing it completely.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I am not, you know, and that's why I've always said, you gotta think about it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I never actually led any of my troops into battle, which I'm very thankful for. Okay. Cause yeah, no, it would not. No, that wouldn't, that wouldn't have done for this kid here.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We ain't got time. Okay, so I'm gonna have to hurt you and hurt you quick.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I had a, a man in my, under my care in the military and he come home from leave, you know, back from leave and said, well, he only had black eyes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I said, what happened? He said, well, my dad had a fist fight. And I said, wait a minute.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Did I hear you right when you said you and your dad had a fist fight? He said, Oh yeah, we had, yo, we just went at it, yo. And I said,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, I've, I've, uh, been in the principal's office like three times for slapping a young, young lady. Okay. Wait what? Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, no, no, look, it's winter time. I don't know how to, I just get off the bus. We've been waiting outside and my ears are frozen. Well, the first thing that one, I sat down.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And you know the death, the type you had to slide in and you can't get out of it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't look, she backhand me. Well, hey, there was no thought involved at all. She backhand you. Oh yeah. It was bam. And then bam crash boom, bam.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, and I was, I was in the process of skews me bad. I'm after idiot behind me. Well, I didn't get it out of my mouth. It was well.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And she smacked, and then it was wham, crash, boom, boom.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is in class and then the teacher jumped up and just screamed. What are you doing?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, she's trying to get out of the chair, so I help her. I just grab her by the arm and yank her out of the chair.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] She's screaming, you have to turn me loose. I said no, I ain't turning loose. Come on, we gotta go see the president.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They pullin' me off of them. By the way, I fixin' beat this clown high to death. This is true.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, but I show like to watch somebody else. Okay. And it's all just reactions.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I've done, I've done men turned off. Okay. And it ain't no tell where I'm at.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh hey, you know, I was very, uh, you know, let's just say I went down front and repented.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, no, no, look. Hey, look, I've always told people, they ask me, what did, what did going to war, going to Vietnam teach you?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I said, well, I said, have y'all watched Star Wars with Luke?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I said, Hey, that's a true statement. Each individual human being


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Then go to the dark side. Then go to the dark side in a, in a heart.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, that's, you know, that's like what Merle Haggard sung a song about, hey, you're on the fighting side of me. If you want to fight, hey, do that and hey, it's on. That's why it surprised me when I see someone get in a veteran's face. Who would do that? Well, I don't know. That's why I'm saying.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What, you know, that's like, uh, uh, like the stick of dynamite and they're sitting there flipping it in between your hands.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause you have no idea what that man has been through. That is a dangerous analogy. Yeah, and then you're gonna fool around and get in one's face? I'm not.


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[Assistant] You're not very smart there, sir. Matter of fact, you're a stupid.


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[Assistant] Okay, cause you talking about playing with fire. Okay, you are playing with fire.


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[Assistant] Yeah, that was, that's one of the common areas, okay, in that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you can't, if you won't respect the elders, you will respect your better.


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[Assistant] Because somebody that's never experienced that, okay, you just don't want him unaware going into your bathroom.


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[Assistant] And the one or two twice, you know, that he's actually timed up in a deer stand to deer hunt, you listen to pick up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But anyway, he had sprayed that stuff because the gnats were real bad. So he's sitting there and here comes three cones down the deer trail there once while they all stop stand up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, he's watching them do it. They literally climb the ladder. Okay. And stick their head. Oh, yeah.


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[Assistant] I don't remember who some kid down there that was deer hunting on his property. He'd get out of the truck and spray himself down with it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know, I don't remember, no, I wasn't rare. There's somebody else. But anyway, he always killed a buck when he went hunting.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, that's what he, hi, he'd get out and I ain't talking, I ain't talking about just a couple of little sprays. This kid soaked himself with it. Okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It gets you clean. I can't help it. We've already told this once. He dropped a load off a log.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, and for five years, okay, every time we'd come around the corner with, with a shoot that cotton mouth.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The last thing I want to do is sit down and be involved in, uh, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What? Taking a dump. Okay. And then I hot water, yo.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's why I'm saying, hey, if you got one, put a warning on it. Old Faithful may explode. You had to press a button.


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[Assistant] My question is, what stream is this streaming on?


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[Assistant] I'm gonna witness that. There we go.


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[Assistant] You know what she's saying? I remember, uh, BK's first note.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, they ended it with thanking the teachers.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, for educating the kids first. Okay, because basketball is a game, but no, it wasn't. It wasn't about the game.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was about they had young men under their care. Okay, and they.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is what, y'all, is how they, they grew up.


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[Assistant] Okay, and that's the same thing, cause like when I was in high school...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you had a disagreement and started, you know, getting in each other's face.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hey, coach would grab both of you and just say, hey, come on by, we'll go behind the, uh, 4-H.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, blood lip, you know, wipe it off and then shake hands.


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[Assistant] Hey, I can get more stupid, okay, with the coach's deal. Hey, alright, both of you, come on.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, growing up and learning, okay, and like cheese and jujitsu.


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[Assistant] That'll stick with her, y'all. She's got the grit, she's got the patience, she's put the time in. It says something for this young lady.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well first, okay, when you say it's a love problem, hey.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're in some twilight zone when it comes to love. Okay?


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[Assistant] Cause hey, nobody knows this podcast. Oh no, it's one of them things. Hey, it's not, it's not known.


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[Assistant] Okay, and like the human being really don't know what the word love means. God does, okay, but human beings don't.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, I like you, but, you know, when you say, wait a minute, love? Well hey, would you die for me?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm saying, you know, it's, it's uh, you know, if you worried about the hot thing, hey, don't worry about that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hey, add this to your resume.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Have fun. Yeaah. There it is. If you can't have fun, be like me. I ain't coming.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was, I was fixin' to say, I look at this, okay, so the mechanic, when he opens his toolbox, he's cheating.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, not good enough. Hey, stop being a stupid human being. It's a tool for crying out loud.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I think that's one of y'all's jujus that you saying, right? Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I wouldn't say go for longer games, cause they didn't really say like, I'm gonna buy this game cause it's longer, but I valued longer games more, you know, and myself, I also played Final Fantasy, so like Final Fantasy 7, Final Fantasy 8, that was like, that's a game, you know, and as a kid, that was when I played RPGs the most.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That pisses me off sometimes. You know, again, when you have, that's all the money you have, you buy a game, it's like, fuck, I beat it in like two days. Like, I remember, I got the GameCube, whatever year that came out, I had to be a teenager when it came out, I was probably like 15 or something, I bought the GameCube, I bought Luigi's Mansion, I beat it the day I got it. I'm like, well, fuck.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I rented games to the point of I definitely paid for the game and I just rented it. Like Mario Party. My friends and I would take turns renting it. We must have rented the first one like 20 times each. Just cause we're fucking stupid.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, there's Devil May Cry 1 is, well it's not the beginning anymore, but it was that, and then Devil May Cry 2, and the next like four games is just all before that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it was cool going kind of like what Adam was saying as far as like, I don't even, I can't even keep track of everything anymore. It's like, I maybe keep track of what I'm focused on and that's about it. Like all the other shit used to fall, just falls to the side where I used to like, oh, this game's coming out for this and then this and this and this. So I'm checking out the sales and I had no idea that they, they re-released like three.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Going back to like games that just won't end, that's how I felt with Resident Evil 6.


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[Assistant] He says real close. He really means real close. Like physically.


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[Assistant] Okay. Well, I'll tell you this. He's got a sharp mind.


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[Assistant] And he soaks in the information well. Okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, but I will say this, the man keeps coming back and that's what it takes. It takes humility and it takes a willingness to learn and be humbled over and over and over.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, there's a lot of mottos people use, but the main lesson that he'll get from jujitsu is how to stay calm in a very difficult situation.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I meant from like the streets. Well, yeah, but that's, that's totally different thing. And he can tell, he can attest to it. You know, we had a nice round the other day.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, we've been working on stuff. I've been trying to help you along, but the other day, I just, I thought I'd let you know how it felt.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And when David started with me, he started that way, by the way, my best friend liked to kill me for my first day.


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[Assistant] It was brutal, brutal, but you, that's the way.


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[Assistant] The people starting out, that's the way they learn. Well, they get smashed. They, they can't breathe. They don't know how to get out. They don't know what to do. They panic. They fell around. They use all their strength.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And guess what? After about 30 seconds, there's nothing left and you're helpless and there's nothing you can do except take your butt whipping and come back the next time.


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[Assistant] But you know, David didn't do it. He did it. He did it. That's the way it works.


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[Assistant] How's that? Is that enough sugar?


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[Assistant] I think it was that uh, that sonic bag about five days a week.


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[Assistant] No, I don't know. No, very inside. There is molten. Yeah. There's lava. Yeah. It gets you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, look, going back to the hottest, hottest pepper in restaurants in town around here, you were going to say Domino. Oh, Domino. Domino. Oh, they're hot.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, so, so they told Christine she got to change her diet. Oh yeah. Well, they're still working on it. You know, the Robertsons don't have a history of change. Change are good diets.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Our healthy eating. So this is, that's going to be difficult. They told me, they told me sk and feel the same thing, but, uh, they said, Phil, you ever thought about not eating so much fried food? You know, they fry everything.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And he said, how you think, how else you think I got to three 20? He said, do what? He said, peanut oil, peanuts made from peanuts, flour made from wheat. What's not healthy about that? And so what are you going to tell somebody?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But you can be a little more civilized than he is with that.


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[Assistant] That's, you know, women, women are a little more sensitive than men. I got in trouble. I tried that stupid maneuver with my wife.


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[Assistant] Guess what happened? She didn't do the not not talk thing. She didn't cook for 10 years.


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[Assistant] I've been watching them too thinking, okay, that's the way you do it.


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[Assistant] Cause I've saw, I've saw Phil on many occasions tell Ms. K you missed it on that.


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[Assistant] And there was no sugar coating and it was like, you missed it. This ain't no good. And then he'd feed it to the dogs.


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[Assistant] Now I know why Tommy looked at Gavin the way he did during lunch.


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[Assistant] Look, I've been married to one for 20 years. She ain't ever been wrong. You know how many times I've heard the phrase, I was wrong? Never. Zero. I could be wrong.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, come think of it. I've never heard him say it. Jace, my wife, any of them. They're not going to my fault. My fault. No, not going to say that. No, they're going to say.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh yea, but I was the, he was the one receiving all the books.


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[Assistant] What'd he say? He told Jase that day, I got tired.


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[Assistant] I'll tell you what I did with mine. The first one, I slept with my hand on her to make sure she's breathing all night. The second one, I put her in the next room and when she cried, we'd wake up and go check. But then the third one come along, I put her on the other side of the house, locked the door to where I couldn't hear nothing.


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[Assistant] I think Martin is talking about the fedora phase.


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[Assistant] Supplies and trapping, hunting, chopping wood.


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[Assistant] I think about it as long as I've known Jace about what? 30 years or so. I've never seen him without a hat.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well I know that. And I didn't like it. Wait, he's gotten one haircut in 30 years. Now he'll put some hair dye on that beard.


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[Assistant] Now, have you seen those pictures of Sai and Nam?


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[Assistant] No trash. You know, I'm starting to figure things out. The reason why they're not doing this, they're not shaving, trimming their beard is because it takes effort.


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[Assistant] But, but, if Phil had had hygiene.


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[Assistant] In other words, if he would have cut his hair and shaved his face, none of this


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[Assistant] Oh yeah. Terrible. And look, my wife never said a word about it, but she hated it the whole time.


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[Assistant] What were we doing? You know, that's one word comes to mind. Uh oh. Pathetic.


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[Assistant] I can grow a great beard, but you know, with all that crap was gone, cause we felt like, Oh, if you're going to fit in with this group, you just, I just gotta let yourself go. That's just the way we're going to look quit shower and the duck men. We had that look. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, not only that, we got paid to do it. The older, well not before Doug Dynasty did.


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[Assistant] I remember, but looking back on it, it was not the right thing to do. No, it was stupid.


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[Assistant] The wizard. The wizard. What was his name? Here's a problem.


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[Assistant] Well look, why don't you just go get your hair cut. I can do it. Trim your beard nice and neat.


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[Assistant] As long as Sy is sitting in that chair, there's a chance. There's a good chance, better than a good chance.


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[Assistant] I just got an email that says, I think it's all of them. JD, get over yourself. And that was it. JD, get over yourself. Well let's start there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There was another one I sent to Martin the other day. Martin, you remember that? It was a YouTube comment. You were scared to look at the comments of that episode, which is normally just the case every time. For you. No, for you. And so I said, here, I'll go in.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And you were scared of, I don't even remember what you said. Oh, I remember people aren't going to like this. Oh, he remembers. Okay. But anyway, I was like, Oh yeah, man, man, Martin's going to get them. He was going to get them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] John David is a very sheltered female raised boy spoiled by mama.


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[Assistant] And then, John David, you seem like a great guy. Pick a side, man. But wish Pops would have taken you under his wing earlier? What does that mean? What's that boy's name? That's old Pat.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In retail, if you're only buying stuff you like, it's not going to be a very good store.


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[Assistant] But the gold ones by the counter, I mean, for me, just personal opinion, I don't like it. I don't like the look. You got a cool hat, don't put a hook on it.


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[Assistant] What happened to that hat that you used to have in here with all the feathers in it? You're like German hunting hat.


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[Assistant] I don't trust any animal that I can't beat hand to hand. And a horse is what? Like if I punch a horse?


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[Assistant] You know your boy you grew up- Weenie dog's feisty now. Nah, your boy you grew up with.


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[Assistant] That lives in my neighborhood in the corner with the guard dogs. That Carter literally says, hello guard dogs.


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[Assistant] I go outside going to walk or go to run. What are them things?


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[Assistant] They big and, I mean, they look like the mean ones on every cartoon you've ever seen a mean dog about. And you'll be walking with your headphones in and all of a sudden you'll hear rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr


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[Assistant] When I tell you I've stopped, I just stop. I'm like, nope, I'm not walking past this area. This is your, you win animals. So you would never apply for be a mailman.


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[Assistant] Have I ever told you about the time FedEx man cussed out Dublin? Oh.


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[Assistant] Oh, he just dog cussed him for lack of a better term. Oh wow. He, I was, I was, I heard something. At my old house, there was a fence all the way around. I lived on an acre. There was a fence all the way around. Chain link. Yeah, chain link. Not a nice fence.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And you could close the gate on the driveway and I would do that and let my dog play in the yard. Well all of a sudden I heard a racket.


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[Assistant] And I go look out the window and this dude is running full speed away from something. I'm like, what could he be running from? The only thing in the yard is a overweight Basset hound. He ain't gonna catch it. He jumped.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Over the gate. And I was like, that was the most athletic thing I've seen today or yesterday. And then he turns around and here comes Dublin just trying to survive, like not pass out from running 50 yards.


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[Assistant] Yeah, and he starts barking at him and that dude turned around and said, I mean, I can't say what he said to Dublin, but


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah. I mean, he was angry that my dog would chase him and I was like, you can't beat up a bassin' owl.


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[Assistant] Cause I'm out. No, you won't go in the store and buy something. Nope. If I get gassed, it is because I have to have it to get to where I'm going. And it drives me crazy. Once I've got like 30 bucks worth, I'm like, I'm just sitting here. This is miserable. And I just, 20 bucks is good, gone.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just like that. And if it's not full in nine seconds, this is free. I'm going to that gas station every time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I, no, incorrect. There was one in Monroe on Foresight and I took a girl on a date and she was like, you're pumping your own gas? And I was like, yep. And she was like, oh, I've never done that before. We were 17. I said, thank you for the red flag. Have a good, have a nice life.


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[Assistant] Hunter, why are you laughing? If you can't pump your own gas, you can't be married to me. That's a rule.


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[Assistant] So you want to go back to full service? Yeaah. Do you? I feel like I'm about to open a can of worms.


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[Assistant] Randy's on Thomas Road, there was a sign, smoking to the left, eating on the right. And my family ate on the right and Cy ate on the left.


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[Assistant] You know what I love about Mike Lindell Martin? He's a great American. That. And he just has a passion to help us all sleep like we're Cy Robertson. I know he's got my pillow.


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[Assistant] Godwin, here's my thing. What? Are you the kind of person that doesn't like self-checkout at the grocery store?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, I'll do that. Cause that's the single greatest thing that's ever happened to me. Disagree. Way quicker. Way quicker. Disagree. I'm better at every one of their jobs than they are. And I will check myself out better than Big Matt over here. I can check myself out more accurately and faster and better and get on my way.


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[Assistant] Montreal's awesome. Yeaah. He's the only person I want to check out.


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[Assistant] I'll give Montreal that. Montreal looked at me one time, he said, you know where I'm going next week? I said where? He said on a cruise. I said, he goes, it's my 19th cruise. And I looked at him straight in the eyes. I said, do you like cruises? And he didn't get it. He didn't get it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I had a dude in my story this morning whose shirt said, Old Field for Trump.


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[Assistant] Here's the deal. If you ever come in my store and you can't check out because it takes too long and there ain't enough people working, then feel free to complain about we need self-checkout. But my fingers, I'm a check-it master.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you ever wonder where you buy bees, tractor supply. I would have asked Jeff and Jessica, but.


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[Assistant] Hold on, how do you know what people have in their garage that's not open?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I brought up a comic person that's into, you know, genocide.


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[Assistant] It's a Marvel movie. Hunter's peeing his pants life and trying to hold it together.


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[Assistant] Question, if we let the gas station come back and they do all the work, can we check ourselves out?


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[Assistant] There's one that you just put it all up there and it takes a picture and somehow it takes you out.


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[Assistant] You put all your stuff on the counter and it somehow knows what's on the counter and then it tells you the price.


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[Assistant] The one right here? It's a Mexican. Oh, El Sombrero. No, no, my friend. Hard pass. I'm a Don Tomas kind of fella.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, did you ask for a discount because you had to pick the stuff up?


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[Assistant] We went to that Mexican place by the, uh, DVD rental store. That's kind of our spot because nobody's, it's kind of low key.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Any Hoosers. Martin, we're in trouble.


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[Assistant] Is it black olive or green? I haven't asked. Just an olive. You and I are in trouble? We're in trouble. Shocker.


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[Assistant] We chose a side. And the side is that drive ins are obsolete because they're


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But when they say they like Saturday football and drive ins all over the state of Kentucky.


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[Assistant] We've done that before. It didn't even faze me. And I'm sorry about your husband's heart problem, Miss Janie. Anyways. How? Okay. It's complicated.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And people that don't like drive ins are stupid. And that's me and you. Up here we need to go. Yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When I tell you, I read 45 emails saying wrong, drive-ins rule.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yep. That's it. Colton's got one in central Florida.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh no, he just wants to go to church. He got your life. Mandy? Knoxville, Tennessee?


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[Assistant] Apparently they're everywhere. Yeah, they're everywhere. Until you Google it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's ol' Phil. There's ol' Phil. Oh Phil, Macmillan just walked in. Yeah. Philip Macmillan, come sit here for the last two minutes. Come, come squeeze in. Yeah. Because we're thinking about getting Cy a pager. Would this help you in your everyday life of helping out Cy?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, we're not getting him a pager. It ain't gonna work. He won't answer the phone, his show ain't going. Hey, I'm telling you, it won't work. Why would a pager not work? Cause it's a computer. There's no buttons.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It just beats and it says call Martin. It's computer.


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[Assistant] No, I just got another email about it. He's eating popcorn in the back of a truck and he says, it's awesome. Cause he's from Oregon and then very Mediterranean climate. Hold on. This is what, this is why I'm against it. I'm back against it. You play games, you throw the football.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then you just have a good time looking at other weirdos there. I once saw some lady walking chickens on a leash. I'm out. I'm not going to drive in. If there's people walking chickens on a leash, hard pass. That should make you go more.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're like, hey, let's go to the zoo. We're going to keep you on a leash because you're a crazy person. And then you just, you're bleeding, you're crying. It doesn't work. You just gotta just chase them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Here, I'm just gonna go with one that's on my wrist. Romans 12 2. Boy, I should know that if it's gonna be on my wrist, right? Do not conform to the patterns of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind so you'll be able to test the good and pleasing and perfect will of Jesus Christ your savior. Thank you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm not just saying like. I've made it. I'm, I'm, I'm with Maynard G.


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[Assistant] He just looked under his bonnet. Oh, it was, it was up on the water line.


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[Assistant] A braiding, braiding bull, twenty grand, to matter of fact.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How would you like to waste $20,000 that you just bought? Did you eat it? Hey.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Look, hey, his wife come out there, she was watching, you know. His wife come out there, she says, what are we going to do now? He said, call the neighbors. We're fixing to have a party and a barbecue.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No fat at 340? He would be in history books. He should have been cause I watched him kill a full grown bull on the run.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] With a punch. With a punch right here. Back in the Old Testament. Right there.


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[Assistant] That was one of them things they fixed in post, cause I didn't say 50,000.


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[Assistant] That's chat GPT, baby. No, no, hey, cause hey, I've told this story a thousand times and it never went above $20,000.


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[Assistant] He'll beat it on Instagram too. He'll beat it in the people's party. I'll just tell you, I've never, I've told that story a thousand times. It's never been above 20 grand.


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[Assistant] No, no, no, I'm serious cause I, I don't know how they've done it.


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[Assistant] Well, it's like you said, you know, everything, you know, everything is faked. So to speak.


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[Assistant] I didn't like to smoke them. I actually liked to smell them.


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[Assistant] Daddy was the same way. Daddy would have like ten cigarettes going in their ashtray at one time.


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[Assistant] Yeah, he allowed one set down a cigarette and normally Billy playing domino. That's why when you walk in their house.


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[Assistant] It was a fog about the, for the lights at, right there.


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[Assistant] I could hibernate. I can see, I can see him climbing up right to it. Oh, oh, the guru is here.


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[Assistant] Trippy magic on fire. Well, crash!


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[Assistant] What about a little Latino place? That's a light, Latin food? Yeah.


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[Assistant] So far on this episode. Oh boy, I can't let it go boys. Smoking is too good. Oh boy. Kids kissing in the bathrooms. Okay, more cabin air conditioning.


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[Assistant] They don't try. They won't answer. Look, they don't try this phone business. For a child. And that child is yours truly. It won't work.


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[Assistant] Chicken vest, cause I've seen them on kids.


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[Assistant] I'd have said, hey, if I'd have had that when I was a kid, I'd have played stage coach. Because you already got the horses.


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[Assistant] Good night. I was proud of myself for being down five pounds this week. You still got that thing in your arm?


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[Assistant] Skinny Godwin is my new favorite Godwin. Although Iron Cactus Godwin was always a fun Godwin.


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[Assistant] So you've lost a hundred pounds. I weighed a hundred pounds in the eighth grade. Really? I was a small eighth grader. Right.


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[Assistant] I'm bragging about a man losing a hundred pounds and only Sy would say, yeah, but he's. Let me tell you.


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[Assistant] Whenever I lost all that weight last year, I started buying all extra large shirts and now I gotta lose weight again.


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[Assistant] I'm against the Hershey's Zero Sugar though. Are you gonna eat? Is it good?


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[Assistant] If I ate what Si ate, I'd end up on TLC on a different program.


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[Assistant] Ginger Ale. There's no doubt in all, Crayon Apple. Crayon Apple?


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[Assistant] But have you ever noticed that people on a plane drink drinks that nobody drinks anywhere else but on a plane?


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[Assistant] You go to McDonald's, ain't nobody worried that they don't have ginger ale. They might have it, but nobody's ordering it. But on a plane?


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[Assistant] No, it's a sandwich. Most are simply a sandwich.


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[Assistant] I would not have wanted to be that buzzard. That buzzard ended up somewhere you didn't want to be back in 1960 something.


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[Assistant] You don't want to stand in front of him because at any minute that zipper could be a missile.


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[Assistant] How best jokes just get, but I can't say nothing because all the weight that I lost two years ago I have, I gained every ounce back.


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[Assistant] I lost five pounds since, uh, four days ago. I still don't answer my question. I'm back on it. No, don't worry about it.


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[Assistant] Yeah, probably. I brought it back on Monday. I found it. I was like, let's see. I'm at 9,675 steps today. Oh wow.


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[Assistant] I've lost 30 pounds, I've lost 30 pounds or so like three different times in my life because I'm an accordion.


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[Assistant] You had to have been like, ooh, I'm excited. Let me run a few steps.


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[Assistant] But you have inspired me today, I'm going, I'm getting back.


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[Assistant] No. Oh yea it is. And crappie and french fries.


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[Assistant] We're taking a vote right now. There's only four of us. And I'll, who knows who else we'll pull in.


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[Assistant] You know what, I have known people that have lost a lot of weight and it turned them mean.


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[Assistant] Ham sandwich, crappie and french fries, or duck and dressing.


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[Assistant] I had livers with you that day. Why would anybody? The Lord gave us a thigh and this is America in 2024. Now I get we're blessed.


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[Assistant] This is like young thirties and Martin's like, Hey, you want to go get some chicken livers? And I was like, I know you look old.


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[Assistant] That's a far made. No it's not. Yes it is. I love chicken.


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[Assistant] But see, the problem is, out of every chicken, there's two thighs, two breasts, two wings, two legs, and, and we don't need that liver. You remember.


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[Assistant] I watched a Netflix special on how to live to a hundred and it was like sourdough and yeaah, that's the only part I took about it.


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[Assistant] Am I the only person here that's like, let's skip out on the organ meat and doing things with it? I don't care. Organ meat.


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[Assistant] Well, I mean, I'm sure that's in Budan. I've never actually asked what's in Budan because I know what it would do to.


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[Assistant] See, but they figured out, that's what it is. They figured out, this stuff's terrible, let's do something different with it, besides just eat it. Well, that's like a gumball.


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[Assistant] But they figured out how to do it right, not just fry it like some psychopath.


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[Assistant] I do have to go to the inbox real fast if we're going to bring that up. I got an email. Hello at DuckCallRoom.com. Please email us.


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[Assistant] Captain D's is in town. Hey, please go to bed, Phil. At 1208 AM, I got an email from Philip from West Monroe.


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[Assistant] It says sent from Philip McMillan's cell phone. Uh, all it says is Martin loves Captain D's.


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[Assistant] I mean, I did that to Allison too, but it's never, it worked for you. I've never got to go.


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[Assistant] It did not work for me. It's a great little seafood place. It says it right there above the door.


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[Assistant] Mozzarella sticks. They're not Catfish Charlie's mozzarella sticks.


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[Assistant] He's on Willie Robertson. Not to make fun because I go up and down too.


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[Assistant] But he has a new fad diet every three weeks. It makes him go up.


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[Assistant] Johnny D is racing through them now. I was racing through them because I saw that one from Philip and I had some, but, but I do remember a couple of weeks ago, I said, remember all the weird stuff they made during Duck Dynasty? Somebody find some more? We got some more. Connie sent these in, which is disturbing. Those are slippers of size face. Awesome.


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[Assistant] Now what? Slippers? Did you own a pair of slippers with your shoe on it? Nope, not enough. Slippers with your face on it. They put my face, metal, everything.


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[Assistant] So those were neat, and then I had one more that was neat.


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[Assistant] Boy. Oh, it was neat. And then I had one that was just disturbing.


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[Assistant] Jerry from Columbia, Tennessee. Right? That bitch.


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[Assistant] He had a, I gotta figure out how to show this right. He had a Jace Bobblehead, right?


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[Assistant] But they decided that they wanted to sh- to shave it. Oh boy.


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[Assistant] Where'd that go? Lost it. Hold on. The internet is hard. Where'd it go? This is the most disturbing.


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[Assistant] Remember when Jay shaved and he looked all scary and creepy? Yea. He looked just like that bobblehead.


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[Assistant] It's actually impressive that nobody knows that. Anyway, the Jace homemade shaved bobblehead. It's up there.


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[Assistant] I hope you still have that. Um, and then Carter emails in Carter. He's 19 from a small town in Wisconsin. He has a question about beard growth.


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[Assistant] So you're talking to the right people. He's been trying to grow his out for a while now.


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[Assistant] And the problem is running into is it comes in thick on its face, but as longer it gets, it gets frizzly. So I'm told to trim it down to look nice. How do you get your beard so long and thick?