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[Assistant] This will be interesting, I'll try to find this out tonight at the party.


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[Assistant] Burly. Like, like Christine worked there, I mean she was...


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[Assistant] He was the secretary. Never knew that. Here's a question. Where was the office at that point?


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[Assistant] When I got down there, that was the office. That was in 2003. So Kay and Phil, this is my favorite Phil, so Phil's like, we need a warehouse. So he builds basically a little metal shed, but he goes right like four feet in front of the door of the office and just puts the shed.


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[Assistant] With like trees, cause he wouldn't let you cut the trees either.


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[Assistant] Is now the country kitchen where that sits. Where that sits.


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[Assistant] The silver building behind the house where I lived for a summer, that, there was reeds in there.


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[Assistant] Remember the little silver tiny tiny little storage room? That was a read place.


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[Assistant] Cause we would go out the back door. The trailer? No, no, no, this is storage, but literally the size of where.


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[Assistant] Now you just peed out, you just kicked that door open and you had a certain little, but you had to pee on the dirt. That was the rule. Gotta pee on the dirt.


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[Assistant] Yea, the little silver building. That must have been before Psy. I lived in there in high school. I'm fixated. I don't, I don't remember that.


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[Assistant] Yeah, I was starving for like any human being outside of Mouth of Cyber. I enjoyed that. I did not like, uh, dipping, so we would have to dip the, the claws in the tungle cause it may, the ends of my fingers were all brown. And I was embarrassed at school cause I had,


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[Assistant] But for real, side, that was the deal. Nobody wanted to make, it's the worst job ever. And so they were like, hey, maybe I'll do it.


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[Assistant] And so nobody wanted, cause it's just choo choo choo choo choo choo.


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[Assistant] You name the dog, Willie. That makes a lot of sense. You should have named one of your kids Willie.


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[Assistant] Alright, I'm going to have to make an interesting ruling on this one. My wisdom tells me this. Split the grandparents in half.


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[Assistant] Take one with you, leave one there. So you've got something to go back to.


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[Assistant] My grandparent. No, no, I didn't. I didn't realize you had numerous wives.


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[Assistant] That's hard. That's hard. We have a lot of kids and we were really nervous that they may live somewhere else, you know. And...


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[Assistant] We're fortunate that they live here, but that means another set


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[Assistant] Ben Laws is not right there with him. And so, you know, you have to figure that out and that's just, I guess that's just life.


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[Assistant] While working for your father-in-law, were they moving in too with the parents? Yea, that would be fair. I'll tell you something, the problems you may have down the road may make the grandparents' situation seem a lot smaller. So I'm like, you better focus in, lock in, uh, cause I have work for my father-in-law. We have lived with our...


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[Assistant] That's it, congrats guys on 200, see you at 400. Oh boy, now you believe in us.


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[Assistant] So, uh, right now we have Bren and Ivana with us and, uh, they are from the Sippy Girls from the state of Mississippi and, uh, they've got quite the story. Now we know Ivana because she has done security for us.


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[Assistant] The first time we met Ivana, we were on our way to an event. It was a snake rodeo.


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[Assistant] So if somebody is interested in getting involved with you guys, where do they need to go?


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[Assistant] Hey, I said he'll be there. So do y'all have any questions for me and Cy before y'all leave Louisiana?


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[Assistant] No, no, cause look, I show up at 9 15. Okay. And the surgery room. Okay. Where you check in is slam full. They ain't a chair empty.


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[Assistant] Okay, so they're, they're coming in and getting them one at a time. So hey, of course that'd be the last one. So it's about 1130.


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[Assistant] I'd rather be the first. So I'll go in there. Okay. And I wore this shirt without a t-shirt. Okay. Cause they said, Hey, we've got to hook you up to all the monsters and the blood pressure and all this. So the first thing she said, okay, sir, lay down on the bed. Did you have.


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[Assistant] You know, and he said, okay, I'm going, I'm going to give you something. I'll use his terminology. That's going to relax you.


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[Assistant] Anyway, hey, then they take me in and the doctor says, okay, we're going to get you, you know, so they put a big mat over me. Okay. And it's sticky. So they push it around my eyeball. Okay. It's got a little hole, you know, then he puts in the thing to hold my eyelids open.


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[Assistant] Okay, well them ain't following in the way of what I'm doing. So he said, okay, now we're ready. Okay. So, hey, then it's just a bright light. And all I'm seeing is there's all kinds of colors. It's like the kaleidoscope. You just put you on, you turn it and it'll show you all these beautiful patterns with all these beautiful colors. So that's going on for the first few minutes.


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[Assistant] Then he gets to the point where he busts the lens in my eye.


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[Assistant] You lost all the colors? No, no, the colors are gone. Okay. Then it's just look.


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[Assistant] And it's like a mass escape. Okay. And since the eyeball is round, it's going out and down. Everything's going out and down.


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[Assistant] Yo, and then he says, okay, now I gotta clean up a little bit.


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[Assistant] He said, you're going to hear a sound, so it's uuuh.


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[Assistant] What it is is a suction. Vacuum cleaner. Yeah, vacuum cleaner. So the maid is coming in, she's cleaning up, zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz


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[Assistant] So it goes dark for a minute and then it's back, you know, and he said, uh, you see the red light in the center? And I said, nope.


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[Assistant] So he moves around a little bit, and I said, okay, now, yep, red light there. So look, the only way I can describe it, there's three things in your eye, okay, in the center of your eye.


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[Assistant] I call them pie pie pie, uh, uh, cake pans.


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[Assistant] Okay, there's three of them, okay, and the cake is out of them. The cake's floating above them.


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[Assistant] So he had to start moving all this stuff. He's pushing his stuff around. He said, I'm trying to get it centered now. Yeah. So they're getting closer and closer and closer. And then finally while they're all in the cakes are in the pan. I said, he said that should be centered right now. And I said, it is. Yeah. So then it was over. Yeah.


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[Assistant] But it was a wild, it was a wild trip.


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[Assistant] A little bit scared and anxious about this because my tolerance of pain is zip zero.


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[Assistant] So, but they were, they, he was, he was telling me to check. There was no pain involved period. First doctors ever told you. Oh, no, no. That's the first one who's never told me, yo, this may hurt a bit. Yeah. Yeah. It hurt a little bit. You idiot.


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[Assistant] You know, cause I was not in pain, and now the boy can actually see.


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[Assistant] No, that was Christine. I said I don't need it anymore. So you just popped that out at home? Oh yea, she just unscrewed it a little bit and put it out and screwed it back together.


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[Assistant] I won't need them, probably, they probably told me, well you probably have to have them for reading.


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[Assistant] Now that was one of the reasons I was so scared of the eye surgery. Him and Tommy, Tommy talked Phil into getting something done to their eyes.


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[Assistant] Well, for five days, Phil laid in the recliner at his house and had to have his head like this.


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[Assistant] The whole time. Hey, and he just had a big bloody spot for his eye used to be.


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[Assistant] No, no, that was the coolest thing about it when I went back yesterday. Yeah. Went back yesterday to have my habit checked. You know, the nurse looks and says, okay, read the chart. You know, and I read it and she said, you can drive. You can pass the driver's test. And I said, good deal.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's what I said, yo. When they told me, I said, well, hey, look, yo.


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[Assistant] So I done the exam and all that and he said, well look, here's the deal. He said, it would really be a waste of your money.


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[Assistant] For me to actually tell me, okay, let's up it where you can see.


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[Assistant] He said, because that ain't gonna last long. He said, number one, your eyes or your lenses are scarred bad. Number two, they're starting to harden.


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[Assistant] Oh yeaah, yeaah. He said, would your dominant eyes, what, you shoot right in? I said, I shoot right in. He said, I will start with the left.


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[Assistant] Yeah, I can't wait to have both eyes and actually can see. Yeah, you better than for a show.


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[Assistant] They told me that, uh, you don't tell me, Hey, you didn't kill a dude. We put blanks in it. And I said, Hey, that's when, you know, you're, when you're really good, when you kill three out of three and they gave you blank in your gun.


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[Assistant] No, he was laughing because he had, he had them black shades on too. He said, I know what, I know what you're doing brother.


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[Assistant] When I was in there for a mile before my eyesight went, boys.


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[Assistant] As a matter of fact, we pulled up, she was going to the grocery store, and I pulled up and I said, hey, good looking redhead, get your butt in the car, I'm gonna take you home.


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[Assistant] My whole body right now is tingling from the tip of my hair all the way down to my toenails because of that.


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[Assistant] Okay, on the Robertsons as a whole, on their whole family, I can see God's handprint. Clearly.


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[Assistant] Jesus, the son of God, left his footprint on this earth for 33 short years.


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[Assistant] The coolest thing I ever heard him say was I come in from leave in the military. And I said, well, what's been going on?


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[Assistant] You know, and he said, well, you know, by that time here comes a pick up load of his buddies.


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[Assistant] And they pulled in and told me, hey, how you been? You been alright? Yeah, we've been good. And they said, hey man, let's go drink some beer and y'all run the women. And Phil looked at him and said, boys, y'all don't realize it. That guy's dead. And buried.


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[Assistant] They gone. Yeah. Cause I told him, I said, Hey, the best sermon I ever heard you give was that day that your buddy had asked you, Hey,


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[Assistant] Let's go get drunk, run the window. And he said, hey, that boy, boy died.


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[Assistant] Okay, and he contrasted that in his sermon the other day.


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[Assistant] Okay, and it just, you know, that's why in my humble opinion, the human race has gone slam stupid.


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[Assistant] Hey, before I freeze to death, I'll burn everything I got.


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[Assistant] That ta- that house go up in a flame, boys.


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[Assistant] He hung reverse to hit it. He found just don't just throw the door off down the road. He go.


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[Assistant] Well, that went, that went from, hey, you know, they put three blinds together and said, hey, they'll never know it's a duck blind because it's too big.


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[Assistant] He said, I got one question. I said, what's that? He said, you gotta, you just got out on a four year contract with the military. This one's a lifetime. You sure you want to do it? I said, yeah.


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[Assistant] He said, all right, everything's worried, all right, go here, go see this man here and he'll marry you. Boom.


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[Assistant] It's way simpler. Go to a justice of the peace.


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[Assistant] I mean, he got issues. Let's go. We're getting people married. Move on it.


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[Assistant] What? Hey, I'll give you a head up. You're on your way out, Jack. No! Oh yeaah. Oh yeaah.


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[Assistant] Plus we don't want him, y'all getting with the women out there.


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[Assistant] Well, I'mma prove that the Black Panther exists. Thank you.


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[Assistant] I about got to the point, if I see another one, and I've got a rifle in my hand, I'm gonna kill him. Just to show people, hey, he exists.


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[Assistant] And there had been a lot of cool stuff that happened because of him.


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[Assistant] Cause I want to check my glasses the other day and yep, no glasses. You got it. You gotta have, you know, the cataracts removed and put a new lens in.


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[Assistant] Four letter word. Work? Yeah. Yeah, it starts with a W. Yeah, we can't have that.


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[Assistant] I don't remember what his name was, but hey, he tore his car up. His dad named Big Tom? Big Tom.


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[Assistant] And he could have been here on time, but too many ducks.


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[Assistant] No, I know I heard it. Oh, it was great. It was great. You liked the transition. Has it been good to you? Yeah. We messed up. Well, cause we're sitting there, you know, and it's about all quarter to five.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And a buck comes walking out of the, just, out of the edges of the woods. We're on a pipeline.


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[Assistant] Yeah, you know, so he comes walking out and at first I said, ooh, that's a good one. You know, cause all I see is big, quiet antlers coming out. Then when I look at him with binoculars close, you know.


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[Assistant] It's a full point. He's got the brow tines and then he's a spike, but it actually comes way out. Okay. And my near comes back and touches.


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[Assistant] Really? Yeah, about three year old, you know, he was a cold book. We should have shot him.


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[Assistant] But we're watching him and then he's in the woods and stone said, yeah, that was a cold book. We should have shot him.


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[Assistant] And I said, wait a minute. I said, maybe he'll be bigger next year. Phil, you see any good coal bucks this year?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, you got to stand to her. You don't want, you don't want, you know, you don't want a bad antler deer. Oh, that's right. Breeding the dog. You want, you want like a 10 point, eight point or 10 point. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Mickey or Mickey? Oh, I thought Mickey Mouse had wrote it. Yeah. Well, I guess it- I'm getting excited. What? Yeah. Mickey and Minnie?


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[Assistant] No, that's going to happen because hey, here's the best thing for you to have. You need to have a close relationship with Jesus.


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[Assistant] Yo, if you got a close relationship with Jesus, what else could you possibly need? He came to give life abundant. Hey, I'm telling you.


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[Assistant] You're right, Ty, you're right. No, no, cause I gotta throw this in there. I'll preach a great lesson on it.


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[Assistant] Okay, look, there is, yo, Jesus came down. He left heaven and came down and became flesh. Okay. For one reason.


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[Assistant] To bring us life, and not only just to bring us life, but to bring it to the fullest.


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[Assistant] But look, you can't even use the word, you know, you know, if you're with Jesus, you have a full life.


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[Assistant] Okay. Without Jesus, I'm not even going to use the word life because look, without him, all there is is darkness and evil.


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[Assistant] I preached a great lesson on it the other day at church. Okay, so what now?


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[Assistant] Hey, I'll stop preaching. Well, you don't have for now. We'll be back.


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[Assistant] No, I brought this up one on an earlier podcast, way, way back there. I want to ride a giraffe. Oh yeah. Okay.


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[Assistant] Yeaah, yeaah, and hey, that sucker, hey, that sucker, he's got them long legs, hey. He can get it.


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[Assistant] That'd probably be the happiest moment of my life.


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[Assistant] Especially if I can do it in Africa.


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[Assistant] I'm with him on this and look, them suckers can run a camel.


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[Assistant] Into a break and probably not stop. That's right, into a break baby. And then we'll be back!


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[Assistant] No, that's what- Hold on. No, no. We're not rolling. Oh, well roll it. Roll it? That's on him, not on me. You better be rolling when this man says funny stuff.


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[Assistant] You just remind me, we need to have a giraffe race. Oh my goodness.


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[Assistant] No, we won't have a real deal. Like ten, we'll call it. They're gonna have to make special gates for them though.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh no, you gotta have a giraffe gate.


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[Assistant] I can just see him right now with them long stretches of that for a living.


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[Assistant] Involved giraffe. That's my experience. Ride a giraffe in Africa.


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[Assistant] You got to have an incentive. I was chasing your incentive.


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[Assistant] All right, Saf, anything, anywhere. What?


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[Assistant] Hey, can we, can we, let's vote on it. But my namesake, Silas Jason Robinson does. It was a bad deal. Hold on, hold on, hold on. Take that Jason.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is that true, Simon? You told, you told. No, no, I'm serious. We're in the duck plan. He would eat it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because we ask you, hey, what's all the moaning? What is wrong with you? He said, hey, my hemorrhoids are acting up. It happens. And I said, well, hey, I have the cure. You know, he said, what? He said.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You don't have a cure, you know nothing about medicine. I said hey look, yes I do. I said I have the cure.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So hey, now you want the cure and I have to fix fiber up and


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[Assistant] Yeah, but, you know, Jackson said, you know, and he was still over a month the rest of the day. I said, Hey, just sit over and suffer idiot.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Now as this and I gave you the, I've gave you the cure. You won't use it. I suffer.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Not to swallow it. It may not be in the medical book, but hey, mom used it. Look, hey, a cold, put it on your chest.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay. Yeah. Use that. You're smelling it. All right.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right, I'm like, yo, don't take a big bunch of it.


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[Assistant] That was the two cure all that cure anything. Okay.


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[Assistant] No, I'm serious. Sounds like he knows what he's talking about. I'm telling you, it was old, old, you know, this was a, you know, old remedies.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, no, Phil was right. You don't put it around your eyes.


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[Assistant] If your hemorrhoids are acting up, they're hurting. Okay. They're itching. Okay. Or any of that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Vic's vapor rub will make it stop itching. It will make it stop hurting. Okay. And it will, there's no pain. Now there is a little burning at first.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay. No, no, you've got an Elmer. It's hurting.


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[Assistant] Yeah, like a wall stand. Okay. Cause I look, what is it?


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[Assistant] Cause the people that were spending the money, we had made them enough, I guess. That's my answer.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well hey, that's my motto. If I can't have fun, guess what?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't watch it. I never do watch it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, this lady comes in and she's one of the, my assistants. I'm, I'm trying to find a new assistant. Okay. And she's applying for this job.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And she said, Hey, you didn't call me. No, but this lady finally tells me, she said, Hey, do you remember taking a picture with me when I was six?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh boy. And I said, no, darling, I don't. I said, you've grown since then. You know, she's probably what 18, maybe 21 now. Been a minute. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Pineapple goes on the upside down cake.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I think you cook it underneath. But then, okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It does not go, I'm like, I'm like Jordan on that. Now if you want to throw some jalapeno peppers, pepperoni, all kinds of different cheeses, and then a little bit of hamburger meat too.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You actually put it in the oven. You cook it once. I'm awake now. And then you take it out and then you put it back in. You cook it another five minutes to give it a little. Little crunch. On the crunch.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Huh. Yeah. Greetings. Uncle Sam wants you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And they was always saying you're too dumb to pass college. But that's another story. But anyway, y'all.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They had told me, well hey, look, you better, you better start studying.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I said, look, I'm majoring in party and minor and then women.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't have time to study, okay, because I'm too many. I'm chasing the women and I'm partying too much.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I took all my finals, you know, didn't care, okay. So look, finals are over.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I had told my brothers and their wives, because they had cooked me a bunch of meals while I was in college, that, hey, look, I'm working, so hey, look, you know, here's a hundred dollars, go buy a bunch of ribeye steaks and, you know, you grill them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So they did, so I come there, knock on the door, Nancy looks through the little people and says, have you checked your grades?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I said, no, I'm not interested in my grades. She worked in the registrar's office. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. You know, so she had seen my great, you know, well about two weeks prior to that, they had all jumped on me one night. We was overeating at Nancy's house.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Tommy and Nancy was feeding me, and all my other brothers were there, so they jumped on me, you're just too dumb, you'll never make it in college and all that, and I said, no it ain't because I'm too dumb, idiots.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm not interested in a college degree.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So anyway, they kept on about dumb, so, you know, Nancy said, Hey, have you checked your grades? I said, Nancy, I don't care about my grades. I'm not coming back. She said, yeah, but you need to go. And I said, no, I don't.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] She finally opened the door, I said, are you going to let me in or not? So she finally let me in, sat me down with just two in my rear end, royally.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And she said, well, she said, you don't really, I said, no, I don't care. I said, hey, I'm not coming back.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] She said, well you, just so you'll know, she said, you missed an A average by two points. And I said, would you do me a favor?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And she said, what's that? I said, tell my stupid three brothers.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That it's not because I'm too ignorant to pass, since I did pass. Thank you. Thank you very much. Thank you. Yo, and never even been to class.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My mother is the one that convinced me. Okay. And I told her, don't waste your money. You and dad worked too hard for it. She said, Nope. She said, and I said, well, give me a reason. Why should I go?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] She said because when you're 45 years old and digging ditches for a living,


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[Assistant] You can't say, well, mom and dad didn't give me an opportunity to go to college. He says, so hey.


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[Assistant] But as soon as I said bye, I went home.


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[Assistant] Guess what? Next mail, in the mail, what came? Uncle Sam wants you.


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[Assistant] Oh, no, no, here's the deal. You gotta think something. Okay, I take basic training for Georgia, uh.


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[Assistant] Germany, Germany, Korea, Korea, Korea. Yeah.


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[Assistant] Sy Robinson, Vietnam. Okay. Next man. Okay. Germany, Germany, Korea, Korea.


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[Assistant] Yeah. Only one. Hey, who did you piss off? I said, I don't know, but Hey, I always knew I was going to Vietnam. Cause that's all I heard when I was in college. My brother said, you better start studying and get some good grades. Are you going to now?


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[Assistant] So look, but what's it like going to knob? Well, guess what?


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[Assistant] The night before I'm fixing to get on the plane.


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[Assistant] Me and my buddies, okay, and they're going to NOM too.


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[Assistant] Yeah. How are some of them mad? Yeah. And, uh, guess what we do.


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[Assistant] The movie Green Beret was coming out with John Wayne. Ooh. So look, we go to the movies. Okay. And I am literally watching this movie and about to just, you know.


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[Assistant] So, but yeah, once you got there, then, Hey, there you go.


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[Assistant] Oh no, no, no, look, you anchored to Alaska. You had to fly over the mountains and then you had to do a deep descent coming in. Cause this in a valley, you know, so it's one of them.


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[Assistant] Well, we land, they don't have any, uh, things that come out to the plane.


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[Assistant] Yeah. Well, no, no, look, I mean khakis shortly. Okay. Like summertime, beautiful. It's 40 below.


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[Assistant] It's warm and you know how cold it was really outside. So look, I come walking around a corner of a, of a, you know, the building. And when I walk around, here's a.


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[Assistant] Fourteen foot gravely bad acting.


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[Assistant] Like they had a heart attack. Cause his claws, I'm telling you, the claws were about that long. Did you run? Did I run? I like to faint.


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[Assistant] No, no, it's a full mounted griddley bed. Just about 14 feet high.


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[Assistant] That had to knock a hole in it and let him come on up. Oh, he's huge, you know what I'm telling you. His claws were as long as that, sticking out. And then he had his mouth and his teeth looked about that long. Like that heart attack voice.


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[Assistant] All of his other pigeons died. No, no, that was the craziest thing. Look, I hit this pigeon with a sailor. Flat rock.


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[Assistant] The post office? The post office. It was actually the post.


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[Assistant] Yeaah, but they did, they had little snacks and stuff and a Coke and all this in there that you could buy too. The other one was a real full-blown store where you could get groceries and all this junk.


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[Assistant] You know, but anyway, in between the house and the stores, okay. And we had a tractor place that sold tractors, but that was downtown two stores, a tractor place.


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[Assistant] In between, between the house and there was a old cotton gin that wasn't in the operation anymore. Well, we would always go in there, okay.


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[Assistant] And we'd find baby pigeons, you know, that had, you know, they laid their eggs, mom had to catch them, you know, and then we would take them and raise them. Yeah. But anyway, also it was a tin roof on that cotton gin. There would always be a bunch of pieces, pigeons on that tin roof.


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[Assistant] So every time we'd come by there, you know, be pigeon on top of the roof. Men feel look around, find this rock. I found me what we call a sailor sailor.


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[Assistant] So anyway, I find that and I said, oh, boys. I said, today's the day. Phil said, what are you talking about? I said, I found me a sailor.


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[Assistant] You know, and he said, sailor. I said, yeah, flat. I said, this thing's going, no wind resistance. I said, I'm going to get one today. He said, well, hey, you throw first. You know, and I got my rock ready and I'm going to get me one. I said, oh no, ain't no.


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[Assistant] You know, the pigeons are on the roof, you know, about 25 of them missed.


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[Assistant] It's starting to say it's picking up speed and nervous. They're getting nervous. Now the fidgets.


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[Assistant] Well, about two foot above them, they hit the air. Yo, 25, that's a bunch of.


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[Assistant] They hit their, well, Hey, that thing goes in the middle of, and I'll see one doing this down the roof.


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[Assistant] Nailed it. Nailed it. I'm about a hundred yards away. But I was just like a bird dog. Okay.


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[Assistant] I got him at the back. I got his wings in my hand. His chest is facing forward, but he's looking at me.


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[Assistant] So look, me and my brother had a deal, me and Phil had a deal. Monday, Wednesday and Friday, he would feed and water them. Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday, okay, I would feed them.


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[Assistant] It's Thursday, so it's my day to feed and water them. So I wake up, you know, get, go outside, you know, start getting the water and putting it in there. And I want to walk up to the pigeon coop. Hey, there's dead pigeons and blood everywhere.


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[Assistant] There has been a massacre. Okay. A mass murder has occurred last night.


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[Assistant] Okay, so I go in and say, Phil, he's what? I said, you gotta come outside.


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[Assistant] He said, no, you should. I said, I know it's my day, but hey, look, there's something.


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[Assistant] Hey, there's one pigeon left. He's sitting on, he's sitting on, we had a little bars.


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[Assistant] He's sitting there, okay, his chest is toward us, he's looking the other way. Eagle Survive! It's a long survival!


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[Assistant] The only thing I think of, he said, Hey God, you gotta go back to a Robert Redford starring in.


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[Assistant] Jeremiah Johnson. He said, remember the old lady that lived up in the canyon?


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[Assistant] Thomas Ennis was scared of her because, hey, she wasn't right in the head, so evil spirits, y'all. You gotta admit, hey, bitches, y'all, egos different.


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[Assistant] I don't think we can top that. Oh, it goes hard to beat.


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[Assistant] And hard to kill. He lived to be a right, I mean, yo, you talking about elders.


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[Assistant] Oh, the best one was, oh, here's another one. Hold on, hold on, hold on.


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[Assistant] We are, we ready? Yeah. I never stopped. I just said the word. Okay. She finally talked daddy. Okay. We got to have a new cap. Yeah. So.


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[Assistant] He finally relented and gave off the cat, cause my dad was so tight, he squeaked when he walked.


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[Assistant] Well, no, no, no, he didn't like it anyway. So he finally mama said, Hey, we got to have a new cat this time. I'm sick of it.


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[Assistant] You missed eagle the pigeon retold. Hey, but anyway, let me finish the story. Mom had talked dad in to buy a new cow. Okay. So we throw this piece of junk that we'd have for 40 years, probably throw it out. Okay. Bring in a brand new and I think it was actually.


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[Assistant] Okay, but anyway, we have a little cat squirrel as a pet.


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[Assistant] Oh yeah. No, no. And we, yeah, y'all, we were sitting on it and hearing, hearing it wasn't paying attention. Everyone's right here. One of the Springs.


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[Assistant] Pay no attention. Anyway, this cat scrawl is in there. He done gnawed a hole in the bottom.


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[Assistant] Okay, and he had him a nice big fluffy nest mate.


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[Assistant] With that cut, my mama sat down at one time and hey, right there where she sat was a spring.


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[Assistant] And it stuck her in her behind. Okay. She jumped up yelling. Okay. You know, we finally picked it up because it was one of these that you can make out into a bed. Yeah. So she lifted it up. We looked.


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[Assistant] Here's all these bare spring sticking up. No, no.


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[Assistant] Little did anyone know my mother is a country girl, she can shoot.


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[Assistant] Oh yeaah. Right there in the house? Oh yeaah, yeaah, yeaah.


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[Assistant] Two people that we never missed was Red Skeleton, okay, and then Groucho Marx. They had both had a show on TV in the 60s. So we're watching Red Skeleton, okay, and it's Christmas time. So Red Skeleton, I don't know what the name, whatever his name was in the skit, you know, it's Christmas time. He comes walking out from the right of the stage, curtains are drawn back.


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[Assistant] He walked and look, he's about to fall down. He's got, uh, his arms are full of presents. You know, wrap, wrap presents. And he, he literally is not even walking. He's, he's going toward his knees and he's laughing.


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[Assistant] Now he's about to lose it because he's fixing to do something. Everybody knows something's fixing to go on here.


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[Assistant] Starts to go to his knee in the secretary and she is a good looking thing. Okay, and got a tight dress on and look.


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[Assistant] She's walking and they're playing the stripper, the stripper bait. She's walking y'all. And she comes up to him and says,


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[Assistant] Mr. Cadilla hopper or whatever he was, but anyway, she said, Hey, I need the keys to your car. We've got more present. I've got to go back to the office and get well.


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[Assistant] He has to get up off his face. John David. Yo.


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[Assistant] And he's like this and he's got the packages and he said, the keys are in my pocket.


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[Assistant] Well she runs her hand down in his pocket.


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[Assistant] He never laughed out loud. And look, my brothers, Tommy was the same way. Tommy never laughed out loud. You will never hear Tommy go AHH!


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[Assistant] As my son, he was like three when all this was going on. He's now 14 and he watches it on YouTube and clips here and there. And the other day he came up to me and goes, dad, why don't they still do Duck Dynasty? That show was really good.


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[Assistant] I hate pineapple on pizza. I hate anything sweet on a pizza.


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[Assistant] The coolest thing Roland did was that when he was deep sea fishing, he had a 120 pound tarpon up against the boat.


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[Assistant] And hey, then guess what I ate this hundred and twenty pound top. Oh, hammer. Hey, hammerhead shark.


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[Assistant] That was a hundred and twenty pound tarpon and he ate it like it was a two inch shiner.


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[Assistant] One thing I was gonna do since you said I could do anything, shoot Woody's on the roost.


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[Assistant] That's one of the prettiest ducks there is. There's a wooden. What a day.


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[Assistant] No, no, no, you talk about that. I used to, you know, kill him in winter time.


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[Assistant] Pull the top notch out, all in one, one thing. Then take a, I think a number six, uh, hackle hook.


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[Assistant] This is just a shout out to PBS. Hey, start running something on the show again.


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[Assistant] Look, it shows a guy in his restroom and he breaks out beef jerky and takes a bite.


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[Assistant] Joe Sasquatch comes into view and then he's blowing urinals off of the wall, taking the leak.


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[Assistant] Oh, no, no, hey, this is hilarious. You haven't seen this. You need to see this cause this is.


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[Assistant] I've learned that from watching TV. What have you learned? You've learned how to be more productive from watching TV. Sounds counterintuitive. Productivity will go up. What color? That's just, you have to answer. Johnny D. What color?


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[Assistant] Okay, cause hey, for years that has been the problem with so-called religious people.


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[Assistant] Okay, so hey, you know, we're all in the same shape. Or you could say we're all in the same boat. Yep.


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[Assistant] So that's why I was saying, hey, if, before you say something, you need to really think


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[Assistant] Does it need to be said? If so, don't be afraid to say it. But if it doesn't need to be said, then hey, shut up and close your mouth.


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[Assistant] You know, and I, you know, if I can change it, cause I always get, I always deal with people that are stressed out. Okay.


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[Assistant] And they're stressed out over something, well here's the question. Can you change it? If the answer to that is no, then hey stupid, why are you worrying about it?


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[Assistant] Here's the question. Here's the question. Why are you there? Are you there to say, you know, the preacher didn't really hold my interest and he didn't do a very good job. Hey, you're probably the problem.


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[Assistant] That's what we're for. Who do you run with?


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[Assistant] You're my brother or sister if you say I run with the Father's Son and the Holy Spirit.


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[Assistant] Oh, let me tell you something. Is it good? His wife texted me last night and said, you're gonna be at the office this week. I said, I'm gonna be in and out.


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[Assistant] Wow, what's up? You know, I was thinking she, we, something was wrong. I was like, man, I've been kind of out of touch. Are we out of something? Are we, are we this? Are we that? She said.


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[Assistant] She sent me a picture of a pie. She said, well, I just want to make sure you get this. And I said, oh, oh, okay. And she said, it's peanut butter. Well, look, this is weird.


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[Assistant] Right? My neighbor just made us a peanut butter pie the other night and brought it over when she made roast. I ain't never had one before. Me neither.


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[Assistant] And I looked at it and I said, yeah, yeah, that looks pretty good.


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[Assistant] Yeah, graham cracker crust, that same kind of light brown color, so, but that neighbor when I took a fork, I didn't even take a cut, I just.


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[Assistant] That's dangerous. That right there. Cause then that led to another.


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[Assistant] Cause every time I walked by the refrigerator, I popped it out on the deal. I took a plastic fork.


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[Assistant] And then once I had a big enough spot, I just left the fork in there with it.


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[Assistant] I'm good with that. It's stupid good. It's the one thing that I know of so far that the W sauce doesn't make better. You don't need W sauce for peanut butter pie.


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[Assistant] I guarantee you, that, that one, that one, Ms. Bourgeois made my neighbor, I was like, wow. And then Anna sent me that picture.


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[Assistant] That's why I'm a duck hunter. I'm serious, I'm serious. They love peanuts, I love peanuts. They love rice, I love rice.


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[Assistant] So, Sy, would you eat like, you know, deer love alfalfa, they eat it, it just goes into a sack, would you get it out there and eat it?


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[Assistant] Unless she's got a driver's license, she ain't too.


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[Assistant] Get you food out of a pile, get you a log and then stretch it down the log and then they'll all stand up.


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[Assistant] They get in a line, they get away from each other then. That's pro baiting tip. Not that I bait a lot, but uhm, yeaah, if you'll get you a log and then stretch it down that log, then they get in a straight line.


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[Assistant] There you go. It was fun. Deer hunting with Uncle Si. Alright, look, it's a plan. Don't get no better. Let's take our first break. We'll be back right after this.


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[Assistant] It obviously works for him whenever he's having a problem. Hey, look, when my back hurts, I've taken it. It, it helps. It helps knock the inflammation out, which is the root of all the pain. Omega XL can restore your SPMs and rejuvenate joints and muscles so that you can move like when you were young.


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[Assistant] Order Omega XL right now and you get a second bottle for free. Not one, but two bottles. All you have to do is visit OmegaXL.com slash.


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[Assistant] They ready to go. Amen. Me too. Very impatient. They are impatient. House arrest about over for me.


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[Assistant] I don't know, but I've had about all the four walls I can stand. Cause yesterday was terrible. I ain't gonna lie.


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[Assistant] One rough one yesterday. These kids have been great kids the whole time.


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[Assistant] Nothing you could do could calm them down. Even the bottle didn't calm them down. Feed me.


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[Assistant] And, uh, but once we did that, it was one of the most bizarre things I've ever witnessed. I gagged on the second one and, uh, my face was way too close. And, um.


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[Assistant] But it worked. They calmed down. That was the longest calm stretch they had all days. I was like, I'm, I'm, I'm buying more of these. Like there's something made by Frida baby or something. I don't know. It's just a little tube. You go.


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[Assistant] Yeah, that's it. You, you, you stop it from the bottom. You open the valve at the bottom. That's wild. Once you open that valve, get ready. You better be ready.


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[Assistant] And then they get real mad for a second. And then when the relief comes, they're like, Oh, I'm chill. So it was, uh, yeah, things you didn't know existed.


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[Assistant] She said, I got these things and we looked at it and you'd like put coconut oil on the end of it and you just.


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[Assistant] There you go. They come in king size. Do they? What is this, a candy bar? No, it ain't that. It's the exact opposite of happiness. Oh.


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[Assistant] Windy the Gas Pack. Windy, that's what it was. Windy. I knew it was somebody's name. Comes in a 10 pack. Yea, you can buy them on a 30 pack on Amazon. That's news to me. There you go. Say things you learn.


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[Assistant] Hey, I'm telling you right now, miracle worker. Oh yeah. Everything come a long way boys. It ain't nothing but a piece of plastic. You go.


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[Assistant] It's, uh, it's wild, but. Wendy's got great reviews on Amazon. Hey, I'll give him one.


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[Assistant] Yeah, you just better be quick. Don't, don't mess around with that diaper. Problem is...


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[Assistant] As you got it open though, so you end up, inevitably you get peed on.


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[Assistant] We both got peed on usually, you know. So, but it's...


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[Assistant] There you go. But today they're chill. Like today they've been, but yesterday was not okay.


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[Assistant] They were just not, I was questioning things yesterday. I was like, uh-uh.


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[Assistant] No, no, how do you handle that? It makes me thankful for Twins. Yeah, you gotta.


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[Assistant] You know, cause at two you, you considering hiring help. I can tell you that right now. Like. I didn't see.


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[Assistant] Yeah. Yeah. There's a reason why. Or my mom. Yeah. She was like, yeah, my mom's been there. My mom's been there. Yeah. You're telling an adjustment. Yeah. Yeah. You're telling me. Oh yeah. Yeah.


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[Assistant] Uh, it's crazy. It is crazy times, but they're, you know, again, if it's like today, there's, there's no problem. They, they stay awake for 30 minutes. They go to sleep yesterday.


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[Assistant] That helped. That helped. That gave them an hour. That gave you an hour to get your wits about you.


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[Assistant] You know what is super uncomfortable? Getting stuck in a Black Friday crowd. You know what's really comfortable? Shopping Tommy John's before Black Friday sale. Before Black Friday sale! Hey, it's going on right now!


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[Assistant] And look, we wearing Tommy Johns right now. Tommy Johns, they got customers. What they got, sir?


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[Assistant] With Tommy John's men and women's loungewear, with over 18 million pairs sold, giving Tommy John underwear and loungewear has become a holiday tradition.


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[Assistant] 97% of women and men love getting a gift from Tommy John. I'm one of those 97% because...


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[Assistant] I like getting underwear for Christmas. I don't know what it is, but Tommy John doesn't have customers. They do have fanatics. You can celebrate softness season with the gift of Tommy John underwear, loungewear, and pajamas. Every gift backed by Tommy John's best pair you'll ever wear or it's free guarantee. We wear them every day.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Si got like 19, 20 pair of them now. He only got to do laundry once a month. It's fantastic for him.


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[Assistant] And that's pajama fan season, right? I mean, that's what it is. Look, Si loves them, so will you. Shop Tommy John's before Black Friday sale going on right now and get 25% off everything at TommyJohn.com slash Duck.


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[Assistant] That is 25% off for a limited time only at tommyjohn.com slash duck, tommyjohn.com slash duck boys, order them now. See site for details.


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[Assistant] I saw your mom went ahead and got after it. What's up with decorating for Christmas in October?


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[Assistant] Yeah, now I consider it aggressive, but it doesn't upset me.


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[Assistant] Yeah, I'm more of a Thanksgiving, let Thanksgiving get here and then decorate for Christmas. But again, your mom did it in October. I find it aggressive.


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[Assistant] Yeah, if it had been a very Neville Christmas play and then. Hey, can I go with the music?


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[Assistant] Britney dressed the boys up as little pumpkins, but I mean, that's just a onesie that zips over them. So, you know, we had a sign on our door said, don't knock, take what you want and get out of here.


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[Assistant] You wake them, you take them. That's pretty good there. That's what the sign should have said.


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[Assistant] Our delivery people are pretty cool. They know us by now. They just drop it up under the garage and call it good. They don't even knock. They know we're going to come out there and pick it up, so.


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[Assistant] But you know, trick-or-treaters, they're, they're just doing their thing. They don't mean no harm. Them kids. But they don't know who's asleep in there. So, you know, I just, I set a bucket out and said,


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[Assistant] If the first one takes it all, that's between them and Jesus. If they, if they're right in this last all night, great. You know, I don't really care either way, so.


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[Assistant] When I first moved into that subdivision, it was like the first Halloween or whatever. And I just got back from an appearance and I had a bunch of duck calls with me. I gave out duck calls. I gave out Uncle Si duck calls.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause we had em, we had em to give away to another deal and I was like, well they're already earmarked for a giveaway, let's do some local marketing.


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[Assistant] Cause I hadn't got no candy, so I just started handing out duck calls. And then everybody, all the kids that were like a little older, that thought it was cool. They all come up and say, you got any more of them duck calls? And I'm like, yeah, I got it.


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[Assistant] Oh yeaah. What about the devil? It's, it's like. Yeaah.


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[Assistant] It's just a way to celebrate kids having fun. I don't think that anybody, for the most part, gets too involved down here of what some people say it is.


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[Assistant] Yeah, take the, leave the innocence in it, let the kids dress up as their favorite character from something, go get them some candy and go on about it. You ain't gotta get on Google.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It can't be bad. I mean, I smoked two chickens yesterday, so.


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[Assistant] I was like, well, maybe I'll take them outside. Then I was like, oh, I got them two chickens in the refrigerator. So I brined them and let them do their thing and then took them out and seasoned them and throwed them on the pit box. That brine is where it's at on the bird. If you got time, there's no reason not to brine them. But I mean, I understand a lot. Sometimes you ain't got time, but.


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[Assistant] Again, one thing I got right now at home is a lot of time. I'm just sitting there, so uhm. You've been watching a lot of late night PBS? No, no, I've been watching a lot of late night TBS. All the old sitcoms from TBS. Except last night they played every Jurassic Park movie.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But you can't go to sleep with that because there's too much flashing and moving. So you know, you just end up somewhere else.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, so it's, but no, yeah, no, it's been a lot of what, like, George Lopez, Family Matters, Steve Urkel, man. Urkel's on? Yeah, like, 4am. 4am, Urkel. Yeah, if you need a...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You need to go back in the vault and I'm like, wow, I actually remember this stuff.


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[Assistant] That's all TV land, I don't think it's on anymore.


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[Assistant] Yeah, Archie was pretty controversial back in them days. Was he? Yeah.


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[Assistant] I like the Sanford and Son. Sanford and Son, you big dummy.


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[Assistant] I used to watch that. My dad used to love it. I guess I get it now because I was like, why does he keep watching a show he's watched a thousand times? And now here I am.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There you go. What else have you been doing? Every time that the clock turns to three because they have to be woken up to feed then, I set my alarm to that.


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[Assistant] You gotta find something to keep yourself entertained during this whole thing, man.


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[Assistant] Like that's what I figured out. You've got to figure out a way to entertain yourself during this whole deal. Because at 3 a.m. you are lonely. It's a lonely place to be. And you're like, well, alright, I gotta wake up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] As soon as we get to clearance from the pediatrician tomorrow, hopefully that they're back at their birth weight. Then at night, I will let them wake me up. But right now I can't take that chance because like, I still got to get them back up to the weight. Yeah. I got to get them back up to weight. So, or I, we, um,


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[Assistant] Brittany is right there beside me for every one of them. So uhm, yeaah. No, as soon as we get that at night time, we'll let them.


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[Assistant] We'll let them sleep till they wake up, but right now we gotta... Hey buddy.


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[Assistant] Uhm, it was just yesterday was the first day I struggled waking them up because yesterday during the day and leading up to about midnight was so rough. Well, you know, those babies.


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[Assistant] I did, and it's one that's in breathing monitors for.


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[Assistant] That's fine. I'm cool with that. Well we bought, we got that expensive camera that's got like the tracking technology on it. The nanit thing or whatever. What? Yea, it's got like a band you wrap around your kids. So that's supposed to like be able to keep up somehow however that works. Well I can't believe they did that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, but it can only register one at a time. I bought an extra band. And it only picks up one of them.


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[Assistant] You'd have to have two of them to do two bands. That's just a rip off.


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[Assistant] I'm not going to say it's not, but there seems to, there should be a way you would think that they could do something with that. Cause you can see both of the kids very clearly in the camera.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So we're, we're bypassing that and going with the sock that Si and Christine got us. So, um, yeah. So they'll have a little sock strap to them from now on instead of, you know, you good?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause like, you know, especially on like the three o'clock feeding whenever they don't really want to burp or something. Cause they're about half asleep and you're like, so you sit them up so they don't.


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[Assistant] Until, you know, about an hour later and you figure out, I need to go to sleep now. In an hour, I gotta wake up again and do this.


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[Assistant] Yeah, she went and got in her kennel and for the first, I've seen it a handful of times maybe, but she was just laid on her back all fours up in the air saying, I'm tired.


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[Assistant] Take me Jesus, I don't know what she was doing. I mean, but she, she had waved the white flag of surrender during the whole thing too, so.


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[Assistant] But the cool thing about it is ever since these kids showed up, Tennessee Vols are undefeated. They gonna put that streak to test against Georgia.


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[Assistant] They good and their momma's fired up about it, so I'm happy with it. Let's go.


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[Assistant] Yeaah. Tennessee and LSU have undefeated since they've been born.


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[Assistant] No, they've lost a few. They won yesterday. They're back. Are they? False hopes. Let's take our last break. We'll be back right after this.


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[Assistant] Alright Johnny D, mail time, mail bag! Mail bag! What's in there?


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[Assistant] Somebody sent me a bunch of chocolate cigars saying it's a boy. So I don't remember the names. I went through that stuff. Like there's a lot of people sending a bunch of stuff. Thank you.


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[Assistant] Hey, I'm telling you, I'm cool with like bringing in somebody one day that works in a NICU up in there. Them, them people are rock stars, man. Those folks that work in there are incredible.


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[Assistant] They are and that place is gut-wrenching and if right now you find yourself there, just know that God's with you.


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[Assistant] You know, this, this too shall pass, and uhm.


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[Assistant] You know, take it for what it's worth, but those, those people that are working in there alongside of them are our real life heroes. They are to keep the kind of outlook that they keep and.


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[Assistant] To keep you sane, for the most part, cause it's, it's easy to lose sanity up in that place, so.


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[Assistant] If you feel wrong, don't you have to forgive them even if they don't ask you? Like, to keep moving on in life? I don't.


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[Assistant] Yeah, because obviously it didn't bother them and they walked away from it for the most part.


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[Assistant] I think you can. I mean, again, I'm a sigh. If you leave it in there, it's going to fester and then no telling where that turns into. So get it out of there.


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[Assistant] Just like that old boy that showed up in here that day when we were actually building duck calls in this room, come in and pointed a finger at Jay said, I've been mad at you for 30 years. We're like, uh oh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, we were like, what? And he said, yeah, you shared the gospel with me and I didn't appreciate it.


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[Assistant] So yeaah, I mean that person may not know, so if it is bothering you, get it out of there. Forgive them and move on. That's my opinion on it.


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[Assistant] Surrounded himself with people to hold him accountable for what he's doing.


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[Assistant] Yup. Uh-huh. Yup. And that's, Sean, man, know that I'm glad you, you think we had something to do with that. We didn't have nothing to do with that. That's a good Lord.


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[Assistant] That's, that's, that's, that's the almighty prick in your heart and saying there's a problem and you recognizing it and then you taking the steps.


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[Assistant] That's, that's cool, man. That's really cool. Two months. Look, and you got eternity to go.


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[Assistant] There ain't saying there ain't gonna be roadblocks and stumbles in the way, but keep your accountability up, keep your thing going, and keep rocking and rolling, Sean.


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[Assistant] You've arguably got the hardest two months out of the way, Sheldon. That's it.


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[Assistant] Rock and roll, baby. That's awesome. Look, thank y'all so much for joining us here in the Duck Call Room. It's been another great week. Let's have another one. We'll see y'all next time right here. We're out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How's the kids? Oh, the kids are doing great, uh, just trying to get a little nourishment in their belly and, uh, you know, they were gonna go fishing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Am I still a special guest?


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[Assistant] Welcome boys. Hey, it's good to be back with you again. Yeah, I'm filling in for Martin who's, uh,


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[Assistant] I don't either. It was, uh, I mean, every time I changed the diaper, it was a like, it'll be better if someone hates duct taping.


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[Assistant] Sorry. Do you know any puppies? I mean, two puppies that he just got.


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[Assistant] Here's what's funny, I have on snake boots, uh, that repels snake bites.


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[Assistant] Okay, it is a good set of boots. Why wouldn't you wear them? Why wouldn't you go hunting in them? No. No. Mess them up.


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[Assistant] Which, why you even have the option to shoot the deer is, I'm questioning that.


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[Assistant] Don't say you said he wasn't barrel chested enough for you.


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[Assistant] I just love that somehow Jay's like, now you're actually thinking about how old they are.


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[Assistant] Well, it's bow season, so we won't be able to reach out and touch them. So we're close work. I know you now that you're on the program with your, all your bow hunting you've been doing. They're right there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Gawen's a deer hunter too. Yeah. Oh yeah. So I've been going after, usually we go in a different state. I'm an animal called state. Yeah. And then I come in. So it seems like always after you guys.


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[Assistant] John David and I was, uh, instrumental in helping John David achieve. Did you see the deer with a bow? Crossbow. Yeah.


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[Assistant] It's that time of year. 34 degrees tomorrow.


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[Assistant] You learned a lot on this podcast. But what if he, has anybody ever taken a bite into a persimmon? Oh yea. Yea. Oh, how about that? That's. I dunno. Yea.


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[Assistant] So when deer are eating them, are they eating them ripe or are they eating them, it doesn't matter.


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[Assistant] Well, I mean, if you had told me people get drunk off weird stuff in Alabama, I would say yeaah, I'm sure that's the case. I just didn't realize it was wildlife.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] On the river? Ice Road Chuckers. I ain't doin' it. That's another show.


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[Assistant] He saw a gorilla take a machete. I had a gorilla come at me. True story. Might have hit me. Then he stole our machete and took off running with it.


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[Assistant] We were submissive and yeaah, we hung out with them for a couple hours.


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[Assistant] That's wild. In Varunga. That's wild. National Park in Congo.


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[Assistant] It was totally, I mean, I thought this is not safe, like.


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[Assistant] So they have to go like a year with where they kind of train them to where they don't like.


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[Assistant] Tear you apart. But he could have picked us up and thrown us 30 feet.


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[Assistant] That looked like me and John Godwin at the Johnny's Buffet. Yeaah. When there's two pieces of pepperoni left.


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[Assistant] Yeah, we were going on, uh, he said, do you want to, we were in Varunga, um, which I think.


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[Assistant] Well, I figured I'm probably never gonna be able to do this again, so why not. There's a, that's a one. I mean, if you're gonna go out.


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[Assistant] They would come up, the little ones would come up to you and mess with you. But he really did. I've got a video of him grabbing the machete and taking off with it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Meringue is pretty fascinating, yea. That is. It's the national park. Full of...


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[Assistant] Into the heart of it were all the giraffes and lions.


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[Assistant] Like it's amazing, but literally everywhere we stayed and camped are all that's been taken over by like it's shut down. Really.


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[Assistant] Yes, people get kidnapped every year from, I mean, if you go in there, they'll kidnap you and kill you and it's rough. So they're trying to fight the.


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[Assistant] People coming in are trying, the most thing they want is not the animals, it's the wood. They want, they need the firewood.


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[Assistant] And then the second thing is the animals cause they're trying to eat them. So you got this weird point in life where it's like.


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[Assistant] You kill humans who are trying to survive or take care of the wildlife. It's a weird balance of life.


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[Assistant] But they, somebody went in and shot like 13, well locals shot 13 of the gorillas.


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[Assistant] Just because they were the big attraction and they thought well if we kill all the gorillas everybody will quit paying attention to what we're doing here.


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[Assistant] And then we, so that was their thinking was like, let's just kill all the gorillas and get that over with.


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[Assistant] So it's taken over now. It's not a person from Africa. It's someone from Brussels. We met with the guys crazy. That congo is wild now.


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[Assistant] So you got that volcano that went off right after we were there. You could see it glowing. Really? Yeah. So it's, it's rough. It's a, that was right before the pandemic. Yeah.


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[Assistant] And then I got home, remember I got home an hour before the national championship game. LSU.


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[Assistant] Which I would have been so excited, but then I can't even watch the game because I'm thinking about how bad was that Congo and I'm like, what are we doing? Why are we watching football?


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[Assistant] I'm just joking, I love Iowa. I swear to Paula. Iowa would, no way I would say anything anyway because they're super nice, so. Look, and they're having babies. I mean. Congratulations Mason.


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[Assistant] Nah, I thought about which state I would say and I actually, for some reason, I picked Iowa, so.


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[Assistant] Now when you've, believe me, you've heard of it. You've tried it, I promise you that.


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[Assistant] The most of the fans back me up. Cincinnati, is that what their fans for? Like chili on pasta? Yea. Somebody sent us a bag of chili.


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[Assistant] Oh, you know, I thought I saw you fishing. Was that not you fishing? When? During the Bengal Saints game? I should have. Who was it? Was that people from your party? Were you at your... Where?


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[Assistant] And I thought it was you and I thought, wow, he's just not watching the saints. Like he literally, which would have been a good move.


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[Assistant] Yeah, I talked to him and I'm fixing to be with him in a couple of weeks. Monday night football.


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[Assistant] Who the Saints play, do you know their schedule? The Ravens? Oh, Ravens Monday night? November 7th? I'll be at the, yeah, I'll be there. I'll be at the game. Need an assistant for the weekend or anything?


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[Assistant] Do you like Alabama? No, you lived in Alabama. I lived there for a while. I'm an Alabama boy. That's a raw tide boy there. That's it. Well, they rolled that tide, didn't they?


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[Assistant] Then we got Martin from the week, the week before I was, I was in, uh, South Dakota, pheasant hunting.


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[Assistant] And I was with a bunch of dudes from Tennessee and there was a football game on LSU, Tennessee. Oh man. Tennessee rolled us and I thought, oh well. And then I thought maybe, and they did it. I got em. That team's good.


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[Assistant] And Zion Williamson's back, baby. Zion Williamson's hurt again. No he's not. I thought he got hurt again. He's okay. Oh he's okay.


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[Assistant] The cheating, the putting the weights. You know who we covered it with? Corey.


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[Assistant] Actually I listen on a slow mo so that I can hear it. So it makes it longer. So it's like, oh, y'all's voices are slower. Like, oh, it's like that. And it just helps me to.


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[Assistant] Actually, you're, when you're on regular speed, you're like slow-mo.


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[Assistant] It's like, you don't have to do the dubbing process. Anyways. Yeah, listen all the time.


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[Assistant] There it goes. I don't know, not really, but I mean. Is that where Jeff's from?


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[Assistant] It's not bad marriage advice, but it was kinda something I couldn't quite pull off.


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[Assistant] Uh, when Cory and I were wanting to get married, um, her parents were, let's just say how to say this. Totally for it. They were totally for it. They didn't have the vision that I had at the time. And, uh, we were 18, 17, nobody was pregnant and, uh,


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[Assistant] So they were kind of frowning on it. So I went to dad and I said, Phil, want to get married? Um, Corey's parents aren't too happy about it. What do you think? You know, I'm, I'm really wanting some legitimate advice from my father. He goes, well.


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[Assistant] How old is she? I said, well, she's 17. I've just asked her a lot, you know, but we're, it's not a, it's not like an official.


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[Assistant] He goes, well I tell you what I'd do, when her parents ask about it, I'd just say, you missed it.


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[Assistant] I went, what do you mean? He said, when you go to Arkansas, get married at 17, just go to Joseph Peace, get it over with. And then when they asked you to say, yeah, you missed that. That was a couple of months ago.


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[Assistant] You had a lot of laughter that you called. I never would have thought that. It's like a humble cry.


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[Assistant] I say give more than you take. That's a good one.


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[Assistant] And so I just have to love her. More than that. Like a neighbor that's really close.


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[Assistant] Well, January will be 31 years. Awesome. 33.


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[Assistant] To send us out, you know, it's, you know, I thought recently it's not only sharing the gospel with people. There, I think there's more. It's how excited you are about the gospel.


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[Assistant] Cause you know, anybody can just say something, but when you're really excited about it, it gives it more oomph. Uhm, I was playing golf recently and a guy was saying,


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[Assistant] Jesus Christ died first, but he was saying it so angrily and I was like, I don't know if that's going to come across the way he probably intended to, but then I was like, so there's something about having the energy. It's not just saying the right thing. Probably this is also good marriage advice. Have you ever said something to your wife?


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[Assistant] It's kind of like, cause what I hear people, it's like, they talk about how bad everything is right now. It's like, the economy's bad and I hate the, whoever.


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[Assistant] Whoever is in politics and there's like so negative and then they're like, you know.


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[Assistant] I don't know if it's coming across right. So I want to be a bearer of good news, not just bad news.


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[Assistant] That's a good point, yeaah. But you won't, somebody had to say that.


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[Assistant] I just want to be a guy that a lot of laughter happens and I'm the cause of it.


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[Assistant] Yeah, I mean, there's some tricks, Martin. We can get that sucker out.


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[Assistant] I knew Brittany was coming on today, so I wore my Volunteers Bill Dance hat, but also,


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[Assistant] I hate football and everything about it because I'm from Louisiana. So I'm, I'm officially asking.


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[Assistant] For permission to join the Tennessee bandwagon. Come on buddy. Go Vols.


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[Assistant] Well it is good to have, all those gifts by the way, registry.


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[Assistant] That's what Allison does. Crime. Yea, you don't want to go off. Do you ever go off registry, Sy? When you're buying someone a gift? I don't even know what you're talking about.


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[Assistant] Sponsored by everybody. Duck Commander, Honey Hole, them old Martin boys gonna tear them up. Yeah, guaranteed.


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[Assistant] You can eat a chocolate covered grilled cheese and nobody's judging you.


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[Assistant] I've always wanted to go because crazy stuff happens every time. There's either girls, there's twins. This is the championship game.


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[Assistant] Those are going to be two strong young men. That's what they're growing up on.


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[Assistant] Twins. Twins. But you haven't, you've, I mean, we're at the end basically.


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[Assistant] It's not something I really enjoyed seeing. I mean, I liked it like once they were like, here they are, let's say for Carter, cause that was a whole different story. That was like, we're running him out. But the other two was like, Hey, isn't this amazing? And I was like, hose that thing off.


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[Assistant] I would think all that's back behind all them kids, right? I would, but once they're removed...


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[Assistant] Wait till after if you're gonna Google it.


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[Assistant] On second thought, clear sheet, you're gonna wanna see this.


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[Assistant] That's fine, I would think that- I don't mind. It's never happened to me.


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[Assistant] Whatever it is, they always say the wrong thing. What's the weirdest thing someone has said to you? They're not listening.


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[Assistant] God is always on time. Amen. You'll never be pregnant with twins and remodel a house again? Ever. God's gotta send you. Zero out of ten. Or the last one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So my sister was kind of a similar story, and she got pregnant again, but it was just one. It was just one? But that one's crazy enough for all of them.


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[Assistant] There's enough high energy at our house. Oh. Yelling at Jamis. Okay, we're not getting on that. Go balls. Yeah.


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[Assistant] And it might, you might volunteer in a very, on a Tuesday morning to mow the yard or something like that. Um, it doesn't have to be Sunday morning, but I did meet these people. Um, they, they swum by and, uh, they were all, they were really nice people. And I think one thing.


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[Assistant] Whenever you both have time, take your vacations together and get away and focus on each other while you can and you don't have kids.


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[Assistant] And I feel that too because I was, I was with Willie everywhere. So I was, I mean, at the beginning of me and Allison's marriage, I was like, all right, see you later. I'm gone for a few days. And so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is a good time to do that for you guys. Like you can travel now. You don't have kids. Bankroll that money. Don't spend it. And that was kind of part of one of the reasons.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was attracted to leaving Duck Commander as crazy as it sounded was because


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was tired of getting on airplanes every weekend and telling my kid, Hey, have fun. It's your soccer game. I'm, I'm going to be in Wyoming with Willie. And so that while you have time to travel, do it and work hard. And then in a few years, when y'all decide to have kids, you'll be able to slow down and you'll be able to throw


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And you both have jobs that can be done anywhere.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, absolutely. And so right now you're, you're probably making more money because you travel, which is a great thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hey, Brittany's super, by the way, I ran into him, I handed Brittany the bag, and she was so excited.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Are we going to call this an episode? I'm super afraid that I did the exact same Bible verse the last time Brittany was here.


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[Assistant] Again, if two lie close together, they will keep warm. How can only one stay warm? If someone attacks one of them, the two of them together will resist. Furthermore, the tribrated cord is not soon broken.


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[Assistant] I walked a lunch today. And mainly you're walking on concrete.


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[Assistant] Hold on. What do you call Batman when he skips church? What do you call him?


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[Assistant] I can't get, I can't get high like they get high. Oh you can. Oh no.


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[Assistant] Pony the Shetland Pony. Hey, that's a rhyme, boys, if you didn't catch it. You had a pony? Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Something happened when I was in the news a while back. It was a hurricane.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, hey, I'm serious. It happened here a couple of weeks ago. It was in the news and it was something bad.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. So we'd go fishing and Kay and Phil would be in, in a P row.


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[Assistant] And once in a while somebody brings some shine in. Everybody have a party then.


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[Assistant] They tried, they tried me and told me, okay, you want to work in the Derrick, which is top of the rig.


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[Assistant] You know, are you going to work down here, you know, with all the other guys? So I tried it now.


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[Assistant] How many may have done that i didn't do it i didn't like anything where this is slippery i don't want to be up high.


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[Assistant] Yeah, no, so all, all feel work. Not only that, that would like you. Okay. That's way too much physical labor. Okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, I told him she's the sweetest grandmother I've ever known. Oh, she was, very definitely. Always cooking, you walked in and saw the food. Her, the whole town, okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'll, you know, never, never, uh, unkind word toward now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay. And back to your love life. Oh, how did you end up in Texas?


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[Assistant] Oh yeaah. Watch what you pick up. We got all five of them.


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[Assistant] I was hoping it was going to be mine, but. They put some in Darbonne. Walleye? When they first built it. They didn't make it? Nope. Too hot of water.


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[Assistant] That's the first, well, I mean, you see them every once in a while, but not every time you go.


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[Assistant] Kind of like when you get a new vehicle, you don't ever notice them until you buy one. And then everybody got one.


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[Assistant] Yeah, come, come show me you're a man and that you can take care of. Yeah.


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[Assistant] Well, it's actually, uh, but I loved it.


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[Assistant] I have the Bible out and this is the verse of the day, which is a good one with what's going on today and everybody's down and grummy and every morning I get up and make coffee for Paula and make a cup of coffee for myself.


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[Assistant] And we read the Bible, start off, we don't turn on the TV, and we just do this. But this is the verse.


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[Assistant] I will remember the deeds of the Lord. Yes, I will remember your miracles of long ago.


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[Assistant] I will consider all your works and meditate on all your mighty deeds.


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[Assistant] Meditate and read the Bible in the morning and just sit there and think about.


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[Assistant] You know, just meditate on God's greatness and what you've got, what He's done for you, and write down prayers.


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[Assistant] 2016, there was a lot of stuff going on then that's, uh,


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[Assistant] That we didn't see prayers being answered that they actually was. We just, we just couldn't see it was neat. It's neat to just write down a prayer, but just like you talking to, to anybody, it ain't, it ain't nothing, no special pattern on praying. So if you do that, it'll make your day seem a lot better.


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[Assistant] Well, I got accused of being a hoarder, and uh, I know it runs in my family. Oh, definitely. But I am not a hoarder. Your mother is the greatest hoarder ever. I said it runs in the family. Well, I'm just telling you, you've got the gene. I don't like to sell things, but that doesn't make me a hoarder. I've been at your house. Yeah, you're a hoarder.


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[Assistant] I don't sell it. So boys, where are we treasure hunting this week? I got a hot lead on where we need to go.


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[Assistant] I'm duck huntin'. They hired somebody. Kid. Good kid.


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[Assistant] He said his dad has 3,000 acres over around Grant's Canal on the Louisiana side.


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[Assistant] That's what he said. And I said, well, uh,


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[Assistant] Has anybody ever detected around there? And he said, not to my knowledge. Of course, he hadn't been here long. I mean, he looked like he was 18, 20 years old. You're talking about Clint.


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[Assistant] It's pretty famous happening there. Wasn't they trying to reroute?


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[Assistant] There were a lot of people there in the 1800's. A lot of men with shovels. And guess what? And coins. It didn't work.


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[Assistant] Here, let's get him a mic. Ladies and gentlemen, we welcome Mr. Clint.


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[Assistant] Now, the reason we called you in here, because we had this conversation at the duck line, and you told me that your dad has acquired some property.


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[Assistant] It's near Grant's Canal? Really near Grant's Canal? Y'all may have been living the whole time while you were being raised just on a treasure trove and didn't know it.


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[Assistant] Tell him he's, we're, we're actually, uh, live on the air here. So, any sign of, that he don't want to do it, just hang up and act like you butt-doubled him.


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[Assistant] I tell you what, we appreciate you letting us, letting us come out.


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[Assistant] So I'm not hunting so I can sell things. I either want to give it back or keep it. What are you doing with it?


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[Assistant] Here I am. Now we've been instructed to try and get to Monday.


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[Assistant] The final words were, I'll see you Monday if I don't see you before then.


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[Assistant] If I do, I'm going to end up at Mollherns on October 2nd.


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[Assistant] Yea, no, I know better. Like, deer season go to January 31st. I ain't gotta be there for a day. I've already been deer hunting.


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[Assistant] There you go. Like you ain't gonna pull that one over on me. You ain't gonna shame me for not being there October 1st. I don't care. It goes to January 31st. We got plenty of time to kill deer. Like I'm not worried about that. And I still got a little stag meat from last year. So I ain't in a bind right now.


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[Assistant] But uhm, yeaah. So that's the deal. Look, we'll take our first break. We'll get back right after this.


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[Assistant] Where you get a little tight on cash, you know, you, you may only be able to put a couple of gallons of gas in your tank. You get another save the date. You got baby showers. You got, you got a hundred different things coming up.


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[Assistant] That's where our friends over at Dave can help. If you're living paycheck to paycheck or struggling to make ends meet, it can be really stressful when unexpected expenses come up now.


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[Assistant] Dave can help you get out of a pinch when you really need it. Look, hindsight's always 20-20 and you can't change the past, but what if you could get a little help from your future self?


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[Assistant] Maybe you'd ask to borrow a little cash, you know? Now you can. You can do that with our friends over at Dave. Dave is the banking app that can help you get up to $500 instantly with extra cash.


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[Assistant] That's more money to fill your tank, buy a wedding gift, or just simply catch up on bills. You can finally tackle those expenses that have been stressing you out without any hang up.


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[Assistant] There's no interest and no credit check needed. Millions of people have already downloaded the Dave app to get the financial relief they need with extra cash.


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[Assistant] So if you're in a pinch and need some extra help, download Dave and think of it as a helping hand from future you.


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[Assistant] Hey, if I'd had that app when I was growing up, man, I'd never have been having to pick up cans for crickets. I'd just get me a little money and go buy me some crickets and some worms to go fishing.


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[Assistant] There you go. Pick up rock side of the yard. Look, download the Dave app from the app store right now. That's D-A-V-E. Sign up for an extra cash account and get up to $500 instantly. For terms and conditions, go to dave.com slash legal. Instant transfer fees apply. Banking provided by Evolve member FDIC. The future you. Well, thank you.


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[Assistant] You're like the incredible shrinking man here beside me. You're doing good son.


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[Assistant] They finally figured out what to do with all that leftover cauliflower. Just turn it into other stuff.


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[Assistant] Well ginger ought not make your stomach hurt, ain't that what they give you for knowledge? I don't know. So that ought to help.


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[Assistant] Ginger, ginger candy, like. Ginger ale? Ginger ale. I thought people only drank that on airplanes.


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[Assistant] So you're on the cinnamon? I'm on the cinnamon.


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[Assistant] All you need is some hugs and some leggings, son. You'd be, you'd be really celebrating this.


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[Assistant] Yeah, guaranteed. Oh, they're gonna have a cool helmet. Who's that? Ole Miss. Oh, the Rebels. Yeah. Yeah, they're wearing the camouflage. Yeah, real camouflage.


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[Assistant] They better do something cause Kentucky's coming and Kentucky's good.


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[Assistant] Good thing, right? That's a marathon sit there.


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[Assistant] That's what the immediate- I ain't gonna say I'll never do it. That's the first time I ever-


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[Assistant] But that's the first thing I do is put that and pop that pin in it before I even mess with the chain or anything else.


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[Assistant] Don't forget me. Put you a sticker on there. Make sure this is latched.


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[Assistant] I look at Brittany, I said, she said, what we do? I said, we gonna go to the lake.


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[Assistant] There I was, broke down, fluids coming out of my truck. Will you come back? I know. No, you called. I said no, go fishing son.


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[Assistant] I said, don't worry about me. Ain't nothing we can do here but wait. Ain't nothing you can do. Go catch me some. Bring me some back. But yea, no, that's. Good grief. Yea, that's a bad deal. But hey, you're fine. Your truck's drivable. Your boat's fine. Yea. It could have been a lot worse.


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[Assistant] Well, that's only fitting that your truck's about two inches narrow than it used to be. That's the way all of ours end up. I got a crease right there, but it'd be alright.


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[Assistant] I swear I'm adding that 2012. You don't even care anymore. You dare somebody pull up.


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[Assistant] The sense of freedom you get from driving a paid off vehicle is unlike any other. Just tear it up. Who cares? Now! You just, it don't matter anymore.


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[Assistant] Whatever. Alright, well let's take another break. Godwin, I'm sorry to hear that. We'll be back right after.


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[Assistant] Johnny D, when I say pillow maker, who comes to mind?


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[Assistant] The best thing that ever happened was they sent Big Mama some of them slippers. And, uh, she ain't taking them off.


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[Assistant] Yeah, does she, she like in percale sheets? That's good. The slippers is Brittany's favorite, and of course.


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[Assistant] We've all had a MyPillow. One time MyPillow was our Christmas bonus.


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[Assistant] The queen size sheets are regularly priced at $89.98 and right now they're only $39.98 with promo code Duck at MyPillow.com slash Duck. Order now!


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[Assistant] Because the supply is limited, the MyPillow percale sheets are breathable and have a cool crisp feel. They have deep pockets fit over any mattress. They do. And you can't beat.


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[Assistant] The 10 year warranty or the 60 day money back guarantee. It's there for you if you need it but you ain't gonna need it.