[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's also kind of a be careful what you wish for type thing. We started playing GTA because it was the world's most popular game. To a degree it still is.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, what's that gonna be swapped with? Fortnite? Or Minecraft? I mean, not that that's bad, we'll find a way to make it fun, that's the job of a content producer, but, uh, maybe Red Dead 2 is kind of what I'm hitting my hopes on. But, uh, it's the kind of thing like Minecraft, it needs evergreen content, it needs community-created content, it needs stuff that we can source. Uh, so yeah, it, you might get tired of GTA, but it's good because there's so much there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So it's hard to find a suitable real placement for it. It's our Minecraft.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Test out all those maps. Okay, uh, this one's gonna be real simple. Upgrade the face cam. We did. The brio. But, again.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Firstly, opinions seem dull. I rarely see a real discussion on Filmhouse or Dude Soup. You all seem to agree with each other's slight no, and that is an interesting bit of typo.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I wanna hear Lawrence's offensive opinion and Bruce's naive viewpoint. Okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Secondly, the live shows and especially Google Trends are either cringeworthy or predictable. Google Trends is such a slow burn and it's so repetitive that I can't bear to even click on it anymore. Thirdly,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I heavily miss you guys getting drunk. Drunk Souls and Mario are always fun to watch and I would love the occasional drunk video. I realize drunk videos must be a pain to film. Finally, I feel like you guys aren't enjoying yourselves as much anymore.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The only, sorry, and I only feel that when you are all genuinely laughing and enjoying yourselves.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I sincerely hope you get back into your old content.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That was going to be one of the things that I say, because you guys aren't having fun anymore theme actually comes up in a lot of different posts in a lot of different ways.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] People buy your shirts, and that means you have to be in calls about shirts. You don't have to. You can just let it go, but if you let it go, then that kind of runs off on its own thing and it can damage the thing that you built or, or produce products that


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That have your brand or your name on them that you don't think are good and don't want to be represented that way. So it's just the more, the more stuff that what you make is involved with, the more attention you have to pay to all that stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And that means that it can be very hard to go from a phone call about shirts to hang up the phone, have 10 minutes left to produce something that should have taken an hour to produce. And now you're real stressed, you hit go and you sit down and your mind is everywhere but relaxing and having a good time with your friends because there was a lot of other work to do and you just had to


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's actually one thing I meant to comment on. Mics don't pick this up, but I constantly omit, like, a very high-pitched scream, is what I would call it. Sounds like yanny. Yeah, I bet. You also stink all the time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What time is it where you are? I thought it was more about like 3.30. Omar, when did we start? I could be wrong.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In my opinion, while the amount and core quality of jokes and humor is still high and consistently enjoyable, whether intentional or not,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It seems both a touch scripted and in places forced. In spite of this, Fun House has been an integral part of my own adolescent journey and in context of me leaving for university in just two to three months time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I find it satisfying and even an honor to watch the channel and each of your personalities grow and develop in conjunction with my own. Subsequently, wait, this guy's hitting the thesaurus.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I feel that it may be perhaps beneficial to begin to introduce more new and useful faces and personalities with the view of giving yourselves the opportunity to potentially progress into other medias that is if you want to. However, I can't fault anything else.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I can't thank you enough for the confidence and enjoyment you've given me over the past couple of years and look forward to more great content in the future.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We know what the shot's gonna be, but it's not like we printed up a script.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This podcast is sponsored by Blue Apron. Uh, if you're not familiar with Blue Apron, they ship ingredients by mail, but all the ingredients are pre-portioned and pre-bagged.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, uh, the shipment also comes with a recipe card, so essentially it says here are all the ingredients you need, you take them all out of the bags, chop them up, throw them in a pan, and you've got a delicious dinner. Home-cooked meal, ready for you for about $10 per person per serving. You can enjoy delicious meals like popcorn chicken with sweet chili cabbage slaw, and cumin-spiced wonton noodles with vegetables and peanuts.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Which yes, they do have vegetarian options, if you're into that. On the table in 30 minutes or less, uh, and because Blavron has been such a consistent sponsor of this podcast, I mixed it up by throwing in some cooking tips of my own. A while ago I mentioned that my, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My cutting board was slipping all around the place. Well, I finally did it. Uh, so a lot of people actually came out of the woodwork, pun intended, to say that if you roll, if you put down a dishcloth, it prevents it from slipping around. They were absolutely right, but I did one step better.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm not content to settle with the comments on the internet, unlike what this podcast would suggest.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I got one of those, uh, those like non-slip mats that you usually put in a drawer so that like a cutlery tray doesn't slide around.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, is it? Well, I'm using it for a cutting board. And that, that has not moved. Uh, so I'm living the cutting life right now. I'm on the cutting edge, you could say. Cutter? Of boards that don't slip around, yes. I am a hero. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you all.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Flying high. My other one has little rubber feeties on them, so neither of my cutting boards, of which I have two because I'm a professional chef now, slide around. You can cut, you can clap, it's fine.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I live on one. I just screamed. I perched on that thing. Uh, you can check out this week's menu and get your first three meals for free. It's basically like 25% off. You sign up for a month, three meals. Uh, blueapron.com slash soup. Uh, that's blueapron.com slash soup. Check out the menu, first three meals for free. Thanks for the sponsorship, Blue Apron. Thank you for all the delicious meals.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I made harissa chicken. I've figured out that harissa is just what, like, is American branded as spicy southwest. Cause every time I had it I'm like, wow, that just tastes like a Dorito that they would call southwest flavor. A Mediterranean thing?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Maybe? I thought it was. I don't know. I could be wrong. It came with, uh, Labnet. So yes, probably.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, yeah, we went with this one because it's round. Uh, it's about the right size. A little tall. Let's be honest. It was available. That was the only thing you had. Did you take it from the kitchen? Yes. No, well, there was a bigger, yes, actually wait. No, this one, there was one in the kitchen, it was slightly bigger than this one. This one we stole from the lobby.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We, we, I think we introduce a lot of adversity onto ourselves because we know that sometimes the results are kind of like that. So yea, when it comes to using a webcam. Oh dude. That is, is like the cord is frayed and there's sparks flying off of it. We're like, it's fine.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Now you just got to the next problem, which is even harder. Yeaah. But it adds for hilarity. Speaking of problems, this is guys, we did something very bad. Oh man. So I can't tell if this comment is being tongue-in-cheek. If it's being tongue-in-cheek, it's very funny.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's like a pig carcass who's just carving stuff off of it and hanging it up. That has to be a joke. It was a joke. It was a good joke. Yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, sorry if we're being flippant about your honest opinion. Alright, here's the next one. Uhm, so this is in response to asking for feedback.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, mental warning, this one's a little long. Also, uh, I think maybe what's starting to happen is that you and your audience don't know what it wants or is.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You guys are all early 30s living in LA working for a successful business whilst your audience are, and I'm guessing, 15 to 22 year olds from around the world. So it's going to be hard to relate or please everyone with your content. I think it's just a natural process too.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I am oh you guys, you guys clearly do have a lot of fun, but I think you maybe got lost a bit in the creative process and business of it all.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think you guys should only put out content you want to make because it will show in the videos. Hope you guys read this TLDR. Drop your shticks you've fallen into and fuck around with your content that you're passionate to making again. Feels like you guys are being forced to make content you don't want to make.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We have productions that are sold. We can't just walk away from those.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Once you accept a certain load, it's on your back. It's a business. Yea, you don't get to shuffle it off unless, unless you hire more people and tell them to do it. Uh, but that takes a long time. Um, there's a lot of...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] As we get further away from having a shit job with low pay and playing video games as an escape, uh, it becomes harder to then empathize with. Is there more dicks?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It becomes harder to empathize with the audience and then make content that they can feel like they resonate with or that they're close to us in a life circumstance or a personality.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, I immediately click off any video with Chad. Y'all joke about how much of a surfer bro he is, uh, just great because that is exactly what I picture him as. The dude isn't funny and rarely provides useful content. That brown dude from that zombie show on the other hand is hilarious. Love him. Chad from Screwattack? Yea, I think so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There is a really smart term for luring people in or getting people on board with like really base humor and then hitting them with something really high. Uh, I don't remember the name of it but somebody said that we were on after that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is the next one here. We kind of already touched on this one, so we don't have to linger on it too much.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It is from... It was the file name and also Bruce loves No One Loves River. I do? Yep. I do. World's number one fan.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If James in his unhinged racist rant said half the things about any other race, then white.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh boy, that still sticks in people. Hmm. All right.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'll put on a sandwich board and go to South Central and apologize. Don't do that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Me. Just now. Uh, here's the next one. This one's a bit of a long one. Ooh, it's real long. Okay, we'll do this one and then get an ad read after it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Funhouse TV, actually this is a really interesting, there's a lot here, so a lot to unpack. Funhouse TV started as a great idea, but in my view, it's soured the community quite a bit. Looking through this thread, and one thing keeps repeating itself, people prefer the old content to the new content.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Having a 24-7 streaming backlog of their quote-unquote good content basically serves to remind people how good they used to be. I put that in quotes because I still find the group hilarious.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Not only that, but people very quickly form clicks in the FineHouseTV chat and practically every time I look at it, you see the same dozen or so people essentially begging for attention.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The other thing I've noticed is that a lot of people are more or less seen burned out on Funhaus. There's a lot of people that have been watching the crew for five plus years now and that's a long time, especially for a YouTube channel.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's probably weekly or monthly thing, not a channel that pumps out 12 videos a week.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And while I understand that Funhaus basically found its niche as Adam breaking games while Bruce and James riff in the background, I feel like they really need to change up the formula.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The Detective, the Quintessential series, and the Sherlock series were great.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because it's generally someone else in the driver's seat and in the commentary positions.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Final thoughts, while I understand that you guys are running a business and that your main goal is to make money,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think it's a bit ridiculous that you dump a series after one or two underperforming videos, especially when it's a game that has some real potential. I'm not saying you guys need to finish every game you start.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But for a lot of these videos you guys are just setting it, settling into a groove by the end of the second video and that's the last we ever see of it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Affordable, uh, watches also sell affordable sunglasses, uh, and they also change their styles as time goes on. So this was last summer's, this is new summer's. Bang. Bang. Bang is correct. Looking good. Bang for buck more like Bruce, uh, because you can get 15% off your entire movement order, but I'll get to that in a moment.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The thing that movement wants, uh, you to know is that they are growing like crazy. Two million watches sold in 160 countries. They continue to revolutionize fashion on the belief that style shouldn't break the bank.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And on that note, we got a promo code for you guys. 15% off with free shipping and free returns. We're going to movement.com slash dude soup.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Again, it's simple watches, uhm, things that don't light up, blink during movies, just tells you the time, that's it. Provided that you know how to read an analog watch. Uhm, and even if you don't, looks great on your wrist. And you can confuse and confound all your friends by pretending to know what time it is. And you get, again, 50% off.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, both watches, sunglasses, and other products by going to movement.com slash dudesoup.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Once more, that's movement.com slash dude soup for 15% off with free shipping and free returns. So thank you for the sponsorship movement. Thank you for the sunglasses. I'll be, uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I won't be squinting this summer. Eyes open. Those are cool. Thank you, by the way. I actually think they're really cool.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I should wear them more. It's uh, certain things have become...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, annoying to wear. Glasses in general, because motorcycle now, so. They fog up like crazy. So.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I did that almost. I mean, my wifi wasn't so hot, so I had like, run cords under the, under the hot, whatever. Uh, here's the next comment, uh, Universal should give the Dooku a second chance.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We just need more Dawn. Well, I'm joking even though I wish we can see more Dawn. I absolutely love the channel and I know you guys have a lot of guests, but on it, but I think every single Dudesoup should have one or two different guests outside from the Funhaus office. A lot of fans know your guys' opinions on things and it would be refreshing to have it like a show, sorta.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Actually, I think three main points here. One is we don't, we can't tell people what to do. I guess we could, but if some, we ask somebody to do something and like not feeling it, that's where that stops. Uh, two, people are busy. So when DudeSoup comes around, it's a long time commitment and those guys have jobs and their job is not to sit in on DudeSoup.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's just kind of a nicety that I ask for if they have the time and the overhead to do it. And they very rarely do.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Now when it comes to booking people outside the office, that takes...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, no, I know. He had to drive all the way across town. It's like, it's their time too, and I have very little to offer in return. Cause I can't pay for their appearance. Uh, we have free snacks.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So to be clear, those are all great ideas, but there are logistical gates to making any of them happen. And believe me, I've thought about them. I've run through a lot of different ways that I could improve the show, either with the people on it or the content of it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, and where I'm at now is basically the best balancing I can find between all those things. I can't hand people homework, I mean I could, but I can't make them do it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I can't, and there was another comment actually, a lot of people were like, oh we need to swap around hosts of particular shows, people like to call out the couple of weeks that Elise hosted in my absence, which she did a phenomenal job.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And actually if anyone says that it's anyone but at least I argue with them. Yeah. Uh, so, yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That happens in real- that happens in real life more often than it probably should. We get it. You're like, you're my favorite. I'm like, you're stupid. Why would you ever say that? I work with- I'm an idiot.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, so this next one is interesting because I think it'll allow us to speak on, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Some of maybe the more confusing and obfuscated parts about our relationship with Rooster Teeth. Uh, this comment is,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Also, Lawrence, uh, to Lawrence, you seem like an insightful guy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, so yeaah, as far as our relationship with Rooster Teeth, that's mostly a, I think it's a scope question. Uh, we, and I think it's mostly due to Bruce and Adam's like, uh, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Permissive oversight, that whole like saying yes to requests?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We can do pretty much anything we want with what we have in this building and maybe $200 of props from Amazon.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, and that's mostly what you're seeing. Uhm, so we can do that whenever we want. We knock it out, we edit it, that's it. But if it requires, uh, costuming and sets and scripts and makeup and...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, props and all of this stuff. Or any other location. Yea, or any other. Uh, Rooster Teeth has those resources, but to get a chunk of it requires so much more effort, conversations, oversight, back and forth, notes, meetings, phone calls.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And uh, yeaah, that's, to drive it all back, that's what we've been going through most of the first half of this year.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Here we go, okay, so Dark Tomorrow, er, keep saying the names. Whatever, it's a very constructive and insightful comment, uhm.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because it's one of the things we struggle with honestly a lot when it comes to content production and how we make things and the way we broadcast them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, had some really good points about playlists, how we cultivate, which is basically to say we don't, on the YouTube channel. One of the interesting things was, uh, this writer,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Singled out how we can be pulled in between promoting the Rooster Teeth service and the Rooster Teeth network and also growing a platform on YouTube as a content providing network itself.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is a bit of a run on sentence. Encourages people to actually buy into it increases retention. Question is, how do you balance it? In most subscription-based systems, those who pay more get better stuff. However, putting all of your better stuff on first exclusivity would tank your viewership on YouTube because, objectively, your most popular videos are the non-competitive commentary videos like demo disc and wheelhouse.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It really seems to me like you guys, and presumably all the branches of Rooseteeth like Sugar Pine 7 or Achievement Hunter,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Are in this weird spot where you've got to decide whether or not the thing you've created would be good as a first series or something to put out on YouTube to keep healthy and growing viewership.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So it's got some long things creating this thread, Lawrence, da-da-da-da-da. But yeaah, it's uhm, uh, it goes on for, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Of the many weird, like the aforementioned thing about being on a really, really like nitty gritty business metrics call and then jumping onto a gameplay where suddenly you have to be creative and lighthearted and fun.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Another very challenging thing is on a high level of our business, we're asked to split our attentions between


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Growing and cultivating a YouTube audience, which is monetized through things like this podcast. And then also driving people to roosterteeth first.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] For the cloudy value proposition that was also mentioned in a previous comment of, you get to see stuff early, some content is available on first, some of it's early on first, uh, yeaah, it's, it's tough. And clearly I don't think we figured out quite how to divide those attentions properly or message that to you guys in the audience about where to access us best or


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] For what you want, where to find it, I think. So, uh, in Rooster Teeth's credit, I think it's largely left up to us about where we make those decisions. So yeah, maybe we just need to really figure out what that decision should be. It's a constant question. We're still battling it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sorry, this is a segway. I want to preface this. Hopefully that long reply didn't put you to sleep. Uh, Katherine Mattress. Sorry. I didn't want to make it sound like you were being boring or anything.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It still has the same squish and support that it did when I first slept on it. Typically mattresses, like, they get the little divot, uhm, you start to feel your, like, hips sink in a little more. Nah, this one's still holding its shape. I actually, uh, my box spring broke, uhm, or rather I discovered that it had broken when I moved, so I ordered a new box spring from Casper. It showed up in a nice little thin, uhm,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it was super cool. Uh, it, every experience I've had through Casper reminds me that


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, technology gets better. It's one of those things that's easy to forget. You just use the same webcam for a million years and then there's a better one that turns out they were working on it the whole time. That's new sleep tech. It's out there. You gotta get in it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, Casper says, uh, that since we spent a third of our lives on a mattress, if you're lucky, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We don't get that much sleep. It's important to truly sleep on a mattress before committing. That's why Casper gives you a hundred nights to try it out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If anywhere in a hundred night time span you find that you don't like your mattress, you can ship it on back and they'll give you a refund. They say the breathable design helps you sleep cool and regulate your body temperature. I can also attest to that. I always have my radiator leg popping out so I can vent air. That was always with an old mattress. Anyone who just feels comfy, I can get under the blankets, really cocoon up. Uh, and Memorial Day is coming up, actually is happening


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A few days ago, when this airs, live is a different thing, next.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, they have a Memorial Day sale offer. You can get, uh, 10% off your order with any mattress purchase. Uh, terms and conditions apply. But that's at Casper.com slash savings for 10% off.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, special offer expires May 29th, 2018. Again, 10% off towards any mattress at casper.com slash savings. Uh, check the website for terms and conditions. Uh, make sure you don't run afoul of those. And that expires on May 29th. So thank you, Casper.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, I fully recommend it. 10% off, not a bad deal. So, thanks for the, thanks for the Sponsorship Casper. Yep. I'm a hero for sleeping. True.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, so here's the final comment that I wanted to kind of conclude on, because I think it's remarkably self-aware.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, which is not to say that the audience needs to understand our position. I think we can, you know, benefit from learning from each other, but there's just so much, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I guess personally I'm routinely amazed at how each individual person can be so smart about the ecosystem that they're in and the lives they're in and stuff like that. Alright, so here's the comment here.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Here's my popular opinion. We, the fans, think we know what makes Funhaus special. Funhaus thinks they know it too. So does Google and YouTube Analytics. But I don't think anyone actually does. Based on the success of Funhaus' videos on a simple factor, how engaged am I? Am I watching the video and enjoying it, or is it running in the background?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sometimes I will watch an entire video without looking at it. I don't know if YouTube can tell. And I've realized I can't tell while I love certain videos like back in 1995 or Club Naughty that I don't care about others. Some videos seem interesting at first and after a few minutes I just feel like I'm, I just feel like watching something else. I have no idea what it is.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Then you look at this subreddit and people here base the success of Funhaus on their opinion of quality of the videos and the opinions on this subreddit. But this is the Funhaus subreddit so it's hardly objective.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then suddenly you get info from Funhaus themselves based on analytics, and Bruce might share that some videos everyone here likes aren't doing well, while other videos that many people here hate, cough, GTA, cough, are doing fine.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So now everyone's confused, because if Funhaus did what the subreddit wants, the channel would lose viewers. But if Funhaus did what the viewers wanted, they would lose fans. And if they did what they wanted, who the fuck knows what would happen?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This subreddit might get angry, viewers might leave, or it could be a huge success, or not, who knows. So I'm just gonna say this, I like it when they do stuff that's obviously fun for them, and I think Funhaus shouldn't try to cater to its fanbase as much because we are finicky and fickle fuckers.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I also think they should earn a decent wage, and they should be a lot more famous than they are, simply because I think they are wonderfully smart and funny people. And if that means changing a little bit to grow faster, do it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In the end, Funhaus needs to do what's best for them the same way that I do what's best for me. Even if my sister or some stranger on the internet doesn't like it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That sister, sister comment at the end, well weird. Sheds a little light on who I'm talking about. But yes, uh, Bruce, you used to remark on something Joel said, that like, programming was half art and half science. Oh yea, Joel, and Joel's absolutely right about that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] YouTube has been twisting all the knobs behind the scenes, and they don't tell us anything. So it's, we'll get a fix on, you'll get a feeling for it, you'll feel like the beat's running through the fucking wires of YouTube, and then suddenly the heartbeat stops, and you gotta go find it again. So you're just like, you're feeling all over this corpse trying to figure out where the heart's beating again. It, uh, it's, uhm,


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[Assistant] It's exciting. This is I guess the best way to put it. It is. I find it really exciting.


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[Assistant] It's true in a weird way. I love that YouTube has an engineered system. It's kinda like Steam in this regard. It is, it is the...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's just, uh, people are, people who are willing to, to,


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[Assistant] Those who dare make that kind of content and they find the new earworm, the opiate of the masses. Uh, and we have to decide how much, like how much heroin we want to drip into our content that is otherwise like normal clean water.


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[Assistant] In that dividing our production tensions between two networks can be taxing. It's also wonderfully comforting.


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[Assistant] And that Rooster Teeth has found a group of people that agree with


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Our sensibilities and agree to it, to the tune that they're willing to pay for first memberships and things like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, kind of what you were saying is we don't have to make everyone in the world like us, we just have to find people like us, to like us, provided they buy Perse memberships.


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[Assistant] Uh, yeah, that's the idea. Uh, and it does kind of empower us to not play that game.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, whether you're pro scub or anti scub, thank you for listening to this podcast. Hopefully it was, uh, constructive. Hopefully that, uh, I apologize if you voiced an opinion in that thread and we didn't get around to addressing it. Either it was garbage in the first place or clearly unimportant enough to fit into a 90 minute podcast.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, thank you for listening. A bit of an offbeat podcast this week, but I hope you enjoyed it. Probably be back to somewhat normal stuff next week. Unless I get to in my own head about the feedback again. We'll see. But yeah, thank you for listening. Yeah, I guess we'll catch you next week. Bye everybody.


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[Assistant] My neighbors are running a kiddie fight club, like for real. That's not even clickbait. It's actually happening. Uh, we also got the scoop on the next big Hollywood blockbuster. Got the screenplays right here, so stay tuned for this action-packed bowl of dude soup.


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[Assistant] Sorry Laurence. Ah, that's okay. It's only ten minutes in. Alright, I got some, uh, some ads to read because that's how this podcast works. Uh, just as a reminder, I messed up two weeks ago and read the wrong week of ads, so we got four ads this podcast.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, but typical 90 minute runtime. This podcast is brought to you by Movement, Blue Apron, Udemy, and Stitch Fix. Uh, you can get 15% off with free shipping and free returns by going to movement.com slash dudesoup.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Check out this week's menu and get your first three emails for free at blueprint.com slash soup. Uh, you can go to u-d-e dot m-y slash dude, it's kinda complicated, u-d-e dot my slash dude right now to get 90% off when you sign up for online classes over Udemy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hey, I didn't get 25% off your purchase when you keep all five items in your box at StitchFix.com slash Dude Soup.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A lot of good products to talk about today. Uh, but yea, first we gotta talk about Bollywood.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, they didn't get it. They added like tit physics to Bob and that was like a banner selling point. There was a lot of like zoom ins where he'd crack people's arms. Fred Durst is in it. Cool. As a playable character, yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Lawrence, tell us about your real life fight. I will, uh, real quick. I didn't introduce anyone. James is the person who hates Bollywood.


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[Assistant] Every week that hammer strikes. Let's just repent. And then Bruce, all-around cool dude. No health problems at all. Nice!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh yeaah, so uh, uh, Fight Club. Yeaah, they're training the next, next wave of Fred Dursts, I guess. Uh, so let me set the scene, because we got 90 minutes to fill. Uhm, I'm sorry, I mean, good luck. Typical Friday, I'm out in the town living it up, which is to say falling asleep on the couch watching movies on Netflix. Uhm, Stephanie put on Matilda, which I had seen. This is on Friday night?


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[Assistant] Rusted Root. No, I embrace uh, I embrace sidetracks because


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You brought up Matilda. Well it's weird because I was a huge Roald Dahl fan. Read all of his books like in a grip back in the day on the bus, but then


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So it's weird, I have this weird relationship with Matilda because it's really good for kids who like books because that's what the story's about.


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[Assistant] So it was weird seeing the Americanized version of that story and remembering bits and pieces and then seeing them fall into place in the movie. Anyway, fell asleep in the middle of it. Uhm, so, this was like 2am.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, alright, so around 3am, Stephanie shakes me awake, she's like, let's go to sleep. Okay. So I just stumble into the bedroom and lay down, no problem. I hear a bit of a ruckus next door, which is nothing new. Party. Yeah, sort of. Various whooping, just sounds like people having a good time. I didn't think about it too much.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, and then Stephanie's like, hey Lawrence, come check this out. So, in her bathroom, there's like one of those fart vent windows that's kind of up high.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, and through that you can see into the neighbor's yard.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Height wise, maybe a three quarter of a James, but still stringy. So like, but they were both wearing boxing gloves and just like trunks and they were beating the shit out of each other. That's cool. And there were three adults standing around them in a ring recording it with their cell phones.


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[Assistant] I guess. And they're, they're like, they're swinging at it too. There's like, there's playful sparring or like I've had a few beers and let's throw hands a little bit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This was like, they were going at it. So everyone totally sober, nobody drinking, it sounds like. I didn't see any drinking, but I also didn't stare too long.


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[Assistant] Yeah, I mean, I guess, uh, to be honest, I was half asleep. And this would have been a fever dream, but for the fact that Stephanie basically validated the whole thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, it was backyard. It was backyard of this house. So, it's weird because that connects to something that I had heard months earlier. It was super late at night and I heard a thud. I heard something sound like a human body hitting the ground. And it shook me awake and I was like, what the hell was that?


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[Assistant] And then I just heard, like, general commotion. I was like, oh, somebody's drunk and fell over. No big deal.


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[Assistant] Everyone has the right to fall down with their trunks.


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[Assistant] So, but now that I'm like, okay, no, maybe they do this routinely.


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[Assistant] So... That's awesome. It's awesome, yes! But what's weird is Stephanie was like, do we call the cops?


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[Assistant] And having been a teenage boy, there's certainly that, you wanna hit something sometimes. Sometimes you just wanna like,


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[Assistant] The only other thing, and this is a little stereotypical of me, uh, feel free to call me out because I'm surrounded by people that are educated on world cultures. Yes. But, I feel like Mexicans are the only ones who still care about boxing. What? Huh?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, you're right, until that dude was like super homophobic. Yeah, I mean, it's still leaving that. Yeah, it didn't deter really. No, it didn't really change anything.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh. Yeah, I was gonna pass this around. If anyone were uncomfortable about the idea of teenagers beating the shit out of each other.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was going to venture that yeaah, without the aid or supervision of parents, I did that on my own.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, there's tons of things to focus on, the affordability of it, the convenience of it, the fact that you can develop your cooking skill. Uhm, I'm gonna talk a bit about variety. Uhm, so they offer a variety of plants, depending on what you want. They have a two person meal plan, so essentially it's


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Three meals per week for two people. They have a family meal plan.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The hook there is that you can try a bunch of stuff you wouldn't normally try. Whether that's different kinds of wine or different kinds of foods. Uh, they just did a run of Chrissy Teigen recipes. They're actually really good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So my girlfriend got Christy Teigen's cookbook and then she made a ramen noodle salad that was awesome from that. So it just kind of opens up doors and stuff like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, and, because we've had Blavron as a sponsor for so long, I'm going to treat you to another episode of Cooking with Lawrence, where I share with you, uh, the raw skill and information that I've gleaned over my years of cooking. This time, it is Do Not Fry Stuff Under a Yellow Light.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because it will be impossible to tell when it's actually browned properly. Uhm, I was frying shallots, but the like little oven light is super yellow, it's like an old fluorescent thing.


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[Assistant] Uhm, so I had it on and I was looking at the color of it to try to decide when I needed to take it out. And since yellow light was shining on it, I couldn't really tell when it was actually cooked properly. So when it looked like it was cooked, I took it out of the pan and it was already burnt.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, so make sure you cook under white light if you're checking for color. That's a little hot tip from Lauren's pun intended. Uh, you can also, oh, oh, and then also when it comes to like thematic and variety foods, they have Bob's Burgers coming up. So they're shipping me the Quantum of Salsa Burger. I'm really excited about that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, you can check out this week's menu, get your first three meals for free, that basically comes down to like 25% off, so one week's worth of meals out of a month, for free at blueapron.com slash soup. Uh, just check it out, cooking's fun, and then you can figure out how to season things exactly the way you want it. Uhm, there's another cooking with Lauren's tip, just triple the garlic and everything.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You'll be swimming in flavor. So that's, uh, check out this week's menu. First three meals for free at blueapron.com slash soup. Thank you for the sponsorship, Blue Apron. Appreciate it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Although, I mean even still, MMA is still way more humane than boxing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is why people can fight an MMA in their 30s. It's the 10 count, that's the problem. You should not be able to take that much head trauma and get back to your feet.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In 10 seconds, that's bad. Well it's like football, it's not the tackles. It's not the knockouts, it's the hits and hits and hits.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They train you in boxing to be a tank, because you can go down as long as you get back up in 10 seconds. Yea, you gotta take the damage. So you just build up the shoulders, you build up the neck, and it's just fucking insane. If you've never seen it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, they're- oh yeah, that's right, they're doing another one. These movies have gotten weird. Yeah. Yep, man, one was kind of historical, and then it just- it's like a superhero movie now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So it's, it's frustrating because I've been living there for like four months and I always wanted to be like, I wanna be there, I wanna like introduce myself and stuff. And I kicked it around to Stephanie of like, we should just like make cookies, do the lame thing and give them like brownies and say hey, we're your neighbors.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We've just been waiting for some time to do that. Now's the time. I say that even though I passed out watching Matilda on Friday.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, yeaah, I guess where to go from here is an interesting, interesting question. Because they've done it before, I suspect, given the ruckus that I heard a couple of months ago.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's crashing through the, through the thousand planets isn't it?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, here's Fight Club with the boys. Let's see what we got going on here.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh no, those boys are fighting. I have a theory, uhm, it's a generous theory, but I try to, I try to believe, I try to construct a, a narrative about, about what I see that is the kindest to all people involved. So, my theory for this occasion was they were filming because these kids are, and again, this is assuming a lot, they're in a Mexican family,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Boxing might be the thing, like might be the sport of the family, but like you're gonna be a boxer someday. You're gonna get a, you're gonna get a scholarship to college is how we're gonna do it. They might have been in training because they were wearing gloves and proper gear.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They might have been recording so they could watch it later and study what's going on. It might have been like a tape analysis.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Different cultures. They do. South Korea makes everything sad. French people bang chicks. Little babies. What's your problem?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'll space it out a little bit. In terms of Hollywood lifestyle though, James, sounds like you had a really productive weekend. All sorts of experiences.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I, I gay, I, I tasked James and only James. Yes. With having an eventful weekend. I did. So that you could come back and report it at length on the podcast.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The other capable. I've seen people in wheelchairs that bow and they go to the random. Okay, well this one looked like a dragon.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We're, I mean Stephanie's growing mint at our place and we still have ants, but again it's like outside next to the door. Oh, you still have ants too, so it doesn't matter. It was weird, I made some toast, put some honey on that, screwed the cap back on the honey, put it back in the cabinet, and in an hour there were ants all over.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In the past, they've not only introduced a ton of new watch collections for men and women, but also expanded to sunglasses.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, so movement, we're about looking good and keeping it simple. They offer quality product at a low price. They do so by selling direct to consumers as opposed to getting stock at stores, cause stores have to mark stuff up. So they make a profit. Movement's cutting out the middle man. Movement man.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, I've never spent that much on a watch and I don't intend to, but movement is about what I can...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I can, I can swing for a nice quality watch, and they have nice sunglasses. If you're not a watch person, or if you already have a digital watch or something like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Maybe you need to up your fashion game by looking at the sunglasses they have on tap.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Also, something that I didn't, I didn't, I kinda took for granted is they actually do update their lines pretty frequently, so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Every couple of months they actually rotate out the designs they have. So if you've looked before and you didn't find something you liked, maybe check again. They might have something for you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And we have something for you too. You can get 15% off your order. That's free shipping and free returns. And 50% off by going to movement.com slash dudesoup.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Now the brand is MVMT, and that's what the URL is, so it's mvmt.com slash dudesoup.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] 15% off your entire order with free shipping and free returns. You should go and check it out. Look, look fashionable this summer. Stop picking your game a little bit. Also, uh, if you're tired of people asking you about your crazy eye.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's a good way around it. So, thanks for the sponsorship movement, and uh, good luck out there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Repurpose of a repurpose. Oh, speaking of happenings and our exciting lifestyles. Is it Geico? Huh? Are there Geico ads on this thing? Possibly.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Someone's gonna say, he's gonna be around forever! Nothing will ever match the happening of...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, small town Texas. First of all, the nearest bowling alley was like 45 minutes away. So sometimes over the summer my mom would take us there, which is how I got all my bowling in.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, news didn't make it there, really. Uhm, if it wasn't in Nintendo Power, or that was pretty much it, if my friends didn't tell me about it, I didn't know about it. Uhm, so there was, there was an amazing


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Miraculous, uh, moment where, in the Dollar Theater, my parents took us to, they got a Mortal Kombat 2 cabinet, and I didn't even know that 2 was a thing. And it had a crowd of people around it, cause one dude knew all the moves, and was like doing fatalities and shit.


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[Assistant] And I just remember like, there's something about being a kid where you can kind of like look through a crowd, because if you're like hip height, there's usually a gap you can just stare through. So I had pretty, pretty good seats, even though I was like three rows back of people. Seeing Luke King turn into a dragon and bite a dude in half, and everybody was like screaming and yelling, it was fucking awesome. Uh, best day.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Except he didn't, he didn't swoop me up and say you, I'll train you, you'll be my Mortal Kombat protege. You'll, you'll appreciate it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There are dudes who like tan lines, like a lot, like bikini tan lines on women. Oh yea. Are there women that like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What were you? Just commit. No. Just commit. It's gotta be the cup. It basically looks like you're wearing clothes except your name.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, it's time for another, another delicious ad. Uh, this pertains to all the topics we've mentioned today. Uh, probably the most, the most relatable sponsor we've ever had, Udemy, is a service that offers courses online, uh, basically all at cart. So if you want to learn stuff, like, I don't know how to kill ants, uh, what that growth is on your back,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm gonna get hit. And if I wanna learn the sweet science of boxing so I can jump in there with the 14 year olds and roll with the big dogs, then I gotta sign up for courses on Udemy. I actually picked one in particular. Uh, it's time for a fun game. What do you guys think it is?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Something that can be taught online and something that relates to one of my interests. Uh, motorcycle repair.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Those are both acceptable. I can do both. Uh, so yeaah, I signed up for a, uh, a, like, zero to master cocktail making course. It's got like 40 entries in it. I'm guessing each one will teach me to make a different kind of cocktail. I'm really excited because experimenting with cocktails is kind of like experimenting with sex. You know, even when it messes up, you still get laid. So, uh, yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm, uh, I'm excited to get started. Uh, and I'll report back with my findings, but I encourage you to go to Udemy and check out what they have to offer. If there's a particular topic you've been interested in, or maybe if you just feel stagnating a little bit, you want to open up your horizons, check it out, learn some stuff. Uh, they have over 65,000 courses from coding to comic book art available anywhere on their website and their app. So, uh, you know,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you feel like, you know, you take an audiobook to get a little more culture, now you can actually learn a skill. Practice something new when you're off time. And we can give you 90% off when you sign up for classes. That's at u-d-e dot my slash dude. We got a link in the description. So, if, if...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If verbalizing it is a little confusing, just check that, but again it's u-d-e dot m-y my slash dude.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, so you can download their app too and watch the, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I guess keep up with your course via the app. Watch episodes on the bus when you're in class. If the class is not interesting, you can learn something much more interesting like how to make cocktails if you're over 21, clearly. So again, that's ude.myslashdude to check out their courses online.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I can't wait to tell you guys about all of the knowledge that I absorb and retain after six or seven...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I see what you mean, when they put the high baller glass on top and then shake it. Okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'll tell you what else hurts. So apparently, uh, Fortnite has started their, what is it, summer competition series?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, it's, it's the, it's the summer skirmish. The thing where they, they said they'd basically throw like


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So a couple of things, uhm, and this, this I can kind of see coming a while, a while away, so, and it's kind of a fundamental problem is that,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, battle royale games are not well suited to being spectator sports. They're not. Cause there's so much going on at so many different places. So this was purely a, if you get victory royale, you get to advance or you get some of the pot. And uh, so as a result people just camped. That's all they did. They just turtled up as hard as they could when the storm circle


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In between there being no spectating camera, so they're just switching between people's Twitch feeds.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, and because the way the matches went, everyone would cluster up in a really small circle at the end of the game, those confrontations got really, really laggy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So there were a lot of like pretty, pretty decent Fortnite players, but they weren't really playing in a smart way. Also, the stream...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What was the Google sheet? What was on the Google sheet? It looks like it's a list of streamers and the related links.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So yeaah, apparently a bit of a bummer the first week, but still, it just makes me wonder.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The, it's natural to think, oh, there's so many people playing this game, surely we can convert it into a spectator event.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I wonder though. I wonder if it's just naturally limited by the design of the game and the function of how it plays, if that's even a thing that could happen.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I guess it'd be the sort of thing where you, oh boy. So YouTube has some things like this with like multicam streaming. I guess the way you would do an event like that is you let people choose the perspective they want to watch.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, or even, this is, this is, like the barrier to entry is so high on something like this, but I was always super impressed with Dota 2, because they would let you watch the matches in-engine.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, and then the com- you have commentary feed and like audience noise blasting into your headset, but you were watching the game.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In-engine. So I'm thinking something like, you could have like VR headset.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Kurt's ass, and chat has an interesting point, says my roommate runs triple play for ESL Africa.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And they tried PUBG last year and they found that they would need like 50 watchers telling him when to cut.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I can't even imagine the coordination and communication it would take to actively monitor every player and try and switch to where the scenes are happening.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is a version of Fight Club I like. Most sports have like a score too, which PUBG, or Battle Royale does not. It's just who's left alive. You can't go into a PUBG match and be like, who's winning? Who pooped last? I don't know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do it like, uh, the Running Man. Have people wager on the people they think are going to win individual matches based on who they're up against. So that you have like staff PUBG, or you have staff Battle Royale players that develop like personas or whatever. And then you have contestants come up and wager on who they think is going to win and how.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But that could get to the point where a match isn't over and people cannot win first.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, like somebody could get enough kills and then like die 20th place or whatever. But then somebody's like, even if I get first, I can't match those points. So it could be like a lame, you could get to a lame duck situation. Give you some math. Which, I don't know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, Dota has really cool stuff where like, like there's the end engine spectation. There's stuff where the commentators can like do


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Intent in it, which is that they've developed this raft of tools and visual presentation purely for spectations.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Which most games do, they'll have a free floating camera or hotkeys or stuff for spectators to use or they'll have like data layouts that people, commentators can see.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's not necessarily like the, the viewer base or the quality of games. They saw the broadcast and they said that is TV quality. It is. And they, yeah, they're killing it with that. Most certainly is. Speaking of killing it, don't kill your wallet to look stylish. Uh, join team style.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Soon, uh, with Stitch Fix. So I'm not, I'm not a stylish man. I'm typically a t-shirt and jeans guy. But I'm trying to step out of that a little bit. It takes effort and time, like anything new.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I encourage you to open your brain to something new. Something other than t-shirts and jeans. Maybe a little slick button up in jeans. And Stitch Fix can help you do that. So Stitch Fix basically, it's a service where a stylist will pick out clothing for you based on your tastes and you set that with a little quiz. It's actually kind of fun. When you sign up for it, they show you like


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Pictures of different cuts of shirts, different colors, different patterns, you just click the ones you like, and then from that they kind of build a style profile for you, and then they'll pick out clothes and send them to you, in your size. Uh, you get to try them on, if they don't fit you send them back, if you like them you keep them, and then you pay for what you keep.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, the styling fee is $20, so it's basically a flat $20 per box that they ship you. But whatever you keep, the $20 comes off of it. So, if for some reason you don't like anything in your box and you send it back,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This 20 bucks to style, but whatever you keep, the 20 dollars comes out of that. So essentially, this styling and selection is free, provided you decide you want to keep something.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's actually a pretty cool service. It's also not subscription, it doesn't have to be, so there's really no obligation.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You can just get it once or twice whenever you feel like you either have some money kicking around and want something to refresh your wardrobe. Uhm, I've been trying to do it like once a season. So when summer rolls around, I'll order a new box. They'll send me some like, some shirts and some shorts. I'll freshen it up that way. In winter, I'll get some longer shirts or something like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, so yeaah, it's a really cool service. It's, uh, it might open you up to some things that you look good in that you didn't even try. And I'll be honest, it's fun to try things on. Just put it on, look in the mirror and see how you look. Appreciate your body for a little bit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Catch yourself, catch yourself Myron. Uh, you can get 25% off your purchase, however, when you keep all five items in your box. And you get that deal at StitchFix.com slash DudeSoup. So, uh, again, that is dependent on you liking everything in your box, but, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The more you do it, they actually keep tabs on you and what you send back and what you keep. Uh, there's actually a little, uh, like, survey that you can fill out when you send it back and provide detailed notes. And that just helps them triangulate more on what you like, so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] By my like third box, I had four, I was keeping four out of five items and by, by the last one it was basically all five. So, yea, I may not get there right away, but they, they triangulate on you pretty quick.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Pretty quick. So that's stitchfix.com slash dudesoup for 25% off your box when you keep all five items. So thank you for the sponsorship, Stitch Fix, uh, and thank you for the nice shorts.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, alright. Uh, yeaah, I promised, I promised everyone we'd share with them the next summer of Blockbuster and I have it here. Uh, so this is Zombies, uh, the Bee Zombie Thriller, uh, as written by Fernando Castro. Who wrote this?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Fernando Castro. Remember, weird, uh, Bruce wasn't here last year. Yeah, I guess I should set it up. Elise pitched a movie that she insisted that she didn't even come up with called Zombies about zombie bees.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, this is just to give everyone a taste here.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just get people invested in the drama. Sure. Cause we'll continue it next week and I need people to watch the podcast. So, uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The newspaper flies away. In its place tumbles page 32 of the newspaper. It reads,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The page flies away. In its place tumbles another page of the news that also reads, also how are newspapers still a thing?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Exterior Malibu Beach House Day. A man in an American flag romper stands on the roof of a large three story beach house. He looks through binoculars and scans the Pacific Coast Highway.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Through the binoculars we see a near totaled Prius. Only running off two spare wheels it seems to be hurtling down the highway. Sparks are flying from the pure speed only capable of coming from Japanese manufactured excellence.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In addition to their cars, they also create the best entertainment.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's not even the context that surrounds it. The story, the animation, and the score are all on point. Also, it's pronounced Akira, you plebs.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Exterior, Pacific Coast Highway Day, truth to power. Uh, the Prius, weaving around the debris and maneuvers gracefully towards the beach house.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Interior Prius Day. Four people and a dog are holding onto whatever they can while the Prius blazes forward. The speedometer reads seven miles per hour.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] At the wheel is Joel, dressed in a brown leather-clad outfit resembling a pirate.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And the passenger seat is Elise with a paper map in her hands. Looking distressed, she frantically rotates the paper and turns it upside down.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] She's only self-parting. She continues to turn the paper around. Adam sits in the back groaning in pain while clutching his stomach.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] James, James sits in the back along with Benson, his and Elise's dog.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Exterior Pacific Coast Highway Day. A horde of zombies see the car. They stagger their way towards them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Terrier Prius, Joel turns his head around and puts his arm on the passenger seat.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Jill's breathing starts to speed up. No way out. Oh, dun dun dun. Well at least, yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, the freeze is broken down. Adam, James, Elise and Joel and Benson are in a terrible predicament. In a world filled with zombies and also bees. Alright, let's nut hard as we close this out here. Hit that! Yeah!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, uh, so the reigning champ is Ohohojosama. Thanks out there, DudeSoup Nation, for letting me know what that porn was.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, fancy costumes. Fighting games have very soft women nowadays. It's, god bless. Soft women.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Anyway, I'm gonna throw this up against an old champ. Mike Tyson, if you will. This is a story that's kicked around the internet a couple times. And I think AwfulMillennial is like, hey, how come you haven't had this up in Hard Netting yet? And I'm like, yeah, I guess so. This is more of like 2000's era Hard Netting, but still.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The Final Fantasy VII house. Uh, I don't know if you guys are familiar with this. What is this? So, this is a group of people that collected in a house, all of which role-playing Final Fantasy VII characters, but they never broke character, because after a while they started to believe that they were those people. Oh no.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, well, I guess you believe that you live in Final Fantasy VII, yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, well, there was also, there was also an heiress and then the leader


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Tried to get them to fuck because she was like, you guys are destined to be together and then even started like slipping aphrodisiacs in their food.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Strange things began to happen when Sid visited. In one case he said Joanna, this is the girl that insisted to go by Jehovah, the leader of the house basically, Joanna began pressuring Sid and Aerys to hook up, that's Aerys, uh, since their respective characters were romantically connected in the game. When they refused to take the hint, she loudly announced that she'd added fistfuls of aphrodisiacs to their food.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So uhm, Sid worked at a grocery store and basically the entire house subsisted on whatever food he could swipe from the store and bring back. So each night they would eat like old steak and Gatorade and he got terrifically sick off of this dog. This is awesome.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like any good cult, it, they got kicked out of this place, they moved to another state, started the house again, kicked out of that place. Theory is that they've now ended up in California somewhere.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's hard to find them. Uh, there's not a whole lot of records about them and any emails associated with their past are pretty defunct. People online have made it a game to try and find these people. Yeaah. I know how we can find them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Jenova didn't- didn't really shower. She preferred to anoint herself in oils.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So yeaah, this is the Something Awful post from 2007. Oh man. Where some dude finds, uh, has identified Katherine Rain.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Flickr account. Oh boy, because they had Flickr back then. So when did this start? What year, Lawrence?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But also she's got a bit of a tragic past too. She apparently was admitted to mental health and was abused inside of that mental health institution. I feel like we can do it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, a YouTube channel that collects oh-ho-hos from animes, or a house where, uh, somebody with possible mental unstabilities gathered a lot of people to roleplay Final Fantasy VII around the clock. Should we all vote at the same time?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, so she could like talk to people as two different people. Wow. I don't know man. I love it. So yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So last, last thing, the last important, this is the dude soup challenge of the week. I defy someone to explain this to me. How come in Final Fantasy cutscenes, they have two different character models?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's like this one. Yea, that's the CGI ones. And then there's, there are, but there's still in-game pre-rendered cutscenes. Yea. That have this little guy. Yea. So how come there's this guy, but then later he looks like-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's a spoiler, Bruce. Don't look. That's a spoiler. Bruce, you're looking. Don't look. Yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah. They added the gold saucer to Final Fantasy XIV. This is something no one cares about. Not worth it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Take a photo! Take a photo! Take a photo! He's doing like the Noctis pose. Noctis has terrible posture. His hips are always out and he's like leaning way back. No, he's cool!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I never, I never thought I'd hear this. People are actually supportive of spending any time with a final benefit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's yeaah, it's a big install, those mods are pretty huge too. But yeaah, the engine in Final Fantasy 15 is so good, it makes even dumb shit look really, really cool.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, boy, we're way over time. So, hey, thanks to everybody for spending your afternoon, evening, morning commute, work day, school day, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Impressionable sleep hours, whatever you've been doing for the past hour and a half plus. Really appreciate it. Uhm, if you enjoyed this podcast, I'd appreciate it further if you recommended it to a friend, a family member. Uhm, if you could just like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Started playing on an iPod and slipped some headphones around a gravestone or something like that. That still counts as a play. That's good too. Uh, the corpses love us.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh no, not in Russia. But yeaah, we, uh, we appreciate the, uh, the, your time. That's, uh, that's more, the most I could ever ask, but I will ask a little bit more and ask you to recommend it to somebody. Or leave a rating, comment, whatever. Uh, but yeaah, thanks and we hope to see you next week. Um, if you're watching live, stay tuned for the post show. Gonna look at, there's a lot of good fan art this week. Good comments too. We solve problems.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] serious ones. So stay tuned for that, but if you're not a first member, that's cool too, looking at that. Uh, but yeah, we'll see you next week. Bye everybody. Bye.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, I still think that that Conor McGregor Floyd Mayweather fight was one of the most watched fights in history, and like easily beat any other UFC fight.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh it was, but I mean, but again, like 100 million people watched it or something, and UFC is like maybe 10 million.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think, I think boxing is something that like, that's a universal language that everybody understands. I, for some reason most people, not everybody, but most people like to see someone else get hit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You like to see a man, like, even when somebody gets knocked down, you notice like some people in the room will go, uh, but they, they love it. Of course.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, it's totally true. People want to see a knockout. Like, even people that watch boxing, I don't know that they want to go in and watch 10 rounds of somebody hit each other over and over and then have the judges, you know, 29 to 30, this guy wins. Nobody wants that. They want a knockout. They want somebody to go down asleep.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, it's like football players. Football players go out there and, like, they either give the hits or get the hits, and they do that for ten years, or whatever it is. Or six months. Well yea, they get really really hurt, but I mean like, that's why they can't remember their names anymore, like, they get CTE.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's, that's the thing that I've been through. I've been, I've been hit a number, cause we would, we would play football and like sometimes somebody would go, tackle. And we'd be like, alright, tackle it is. And like getting, getting hit by another person and then slammed on the ground,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Man oh man, that takes everything away. That, that shuts you down and you lose your breath and like, you just sit there and you're like, have to recover for a second? Yeah, and you, and you like, you come back up and you're like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, I think I'm alright. You get back into it, the adrenaline courses through you, you're fine, but then after the game, for days, you're, you don't know what happened, you don't know why your head hurts, or your stomach hurts, or like, you just don't remember those things.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I got, I got hit when I was playing flag football. I played flag football for years in junior high. And I got, you're not supposed to get hit, by the way, in flag football, but you do. Yeah, and I got hit and somebody, they like went at my head, my face with their hands.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's like, I mean, you guys have seen like actual MMA fights where that happens, where they get knocked out and the ref doesn't call it. Oh yea. So the guy will go down and then they'll go like literally one last giant punch to a man who's completely defenseless and asleep. And the head has nowhere to go to in that thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Lawrence, are you gonna, uh, try and find the YouTube channel that they were starting for that backyard fight club that you watched?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Will you do me a favor? Will you search on YouTube? 13 year old Fight Club or Teen Fight Club?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We're getting out some lists. I'm just curious because- This is gonna be like Daddy 05 level stuff. Yeah, well I'm curious. People must post these videos. Why else would they film them?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No. It looks like him. Hey! What's his name?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] All like Big Market. Big Market's good. Literally none of it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause I'm, I'm betting there's no other reason they would shoot this but in your backyard other than to put it on YouTube. No other reason.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That doesn't make any sense at all. It should be the opposite. The newer ones should be more quarters. Was FutureSpa there? No, FutureSpa. Sorry.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You guys are describing my, the, basically my entire 15 year old year. Because when I first moved to Santa Barbara,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was basically alone, it was just me, and uh, I didn't have brothers or sisters, so, and there was a bowling alley right down the street. The only thing I could do at 15 years old, and didn't have any friends, was bowl. So I bought some bowling shoes, went to this bowling alley, and they had the, you guys ever play the skiing arcade game?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well I put the bait out with jelly on it and hopefully it caught him. Hopefully they took it and went back to the queen and killed the queen. No, it turns out they didn't. I woke up this morning and they were all over my kitchen cabinets because they found my fucking cookies. And I wanted those cookies!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They ate all the cookies, I threw them all out. You're not even on the first floor either. Uh, no. So they're getting up in there. Yeah, well I mean like they're pretty much everywhere. And like the ants spray, there's ants spray that will kill them, but it will only kill them on the outside. It won't kill them on the inside. So, I had to bait them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, no, no, because they, so here's the thing, they come out every summer, and this is the thing I learned about ants, after Googling them for days, was that, uh, ants hibernate. Did you know that? What? Uh, they hibernate during the winter, they usually, what they do is they, in the early summer, they all go out and try and find food and water for their nest.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They come out of the outlets and like windows and everything and they try and find shit, uh, in, in the summer. And every summer they'd come out and I'd be like, alright, they're just black ants so they don't bite you or anything. So I'd just kill them all and they'd go away and then it'd be winter again. I dunno, race has to do it. Is this one worse though?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's not worse, I've just decided to try and solve the problem for good. Yeah. So, uh, so. Kill all the ants. Well, the thing is, I like black ants. I, cause I think they're just working. You got a lot of black ant friends. They're just doing their work. I feel bad for them. Yeah, sure.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I just, I just like black ants, but at this point they're everywhere, so I have to kill them. And I was like, I've decided to kill the queen. If I could, I would sledgehammer over the wall and open it up and try and find the nest. You have two options.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know how that works. Oh that's true. Or just leave it. That's more storage man.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The problem is, is that uhm, what they'll do, I haven't actually tried to trap them in an area. Yeaah. Uhm, cause I, that's my next, actually that's my next course of action is to do that. Route them? Uhm, yea, I tried routing them last night, it didn't work. Yeaah. Uhm, yea, that's my next one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because I gotta, I gotta keep, I like these ants and I actually kinda like having them around because I respect the ants, I really do, because they're hard workers. And all they're really looking to do is eat. They don't have free will. All they're looking to do is eat. And that's it. That's all, and I get it. I understand. Because they gotta hibernate. Because they gotta hibernate. They wanna eat and they wanna sleep. That's it. That's all I wanna do.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's probably going to be me. They're going to burrow into my neck, and I'm going to climb that highest tree.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I just had an epiphany. I have one eyelid that droops a little lower than the other occasionally on my left side.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I kinda fucked it all up. And then ever since then, this eyelid has always drooped just a little bit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, occasionally I'll have a tired eyelid and it'll go down a little bit. Interesting. Like Forrest Whitaker? Uh, kinda like Forrest Whitaker, just not nearly as bad.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Those are stand-up games, those are always 50 cents at least. Full body experiences. Yea, sometimes a dollar.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're a young girl. There's a reason. James is right, but he's only second. That's only the second coolest thing. The first coolest thing is to walk around every arcade machine and check the coin return for quarters so that you could play for free. Cool. Cause that's what I did at every arcade and it worked for me every single time. What? Every single time I walked in, if you check every machine, if you check every machine, you'll find at least one quarter and you'd play for free.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] At least text me, I didn't go, but at least text me and say we'll probably not have enough people for volleyball, but we are going to the beach.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's how you get skin cancer. If you don't use the aloe, you get skin cancer. Did you ask Jess to put aloe on your back? But not sunscreen.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So it sounds like the sun was probably on the left side of you guys for most of the time you were there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I do like, I like tan lines even on like, naked women.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The reason that the tan line is nice is because it's telling you, as a man, that you are seeing something you shouldn't be seeing. That's true. That's why I like the tan line. I understand that. Because it triggers something instinctive in your animal brain. Then you want a snow white dick. You want it to be pure.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, you can't really have a snow white day. I mean, you could bleach it. Repeatedly. I didn't think about that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We live in a society, Adam, so we can't just have dick and nips all day.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know what he likes. I mean- There's one other thing he likes that we all know he likes. I know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's the same with, like, Overwatch. When Overwatch first started becoming a spectator thing, like, it was really hard to watch because some were blue and some were red and you didn't know and, like, Overwatch... People still think it's hard to watch.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, yeah. No, but you're right though. I mean like, it's so fast and typically there's so much going on if you don't know the rules of the game. It was the same with StarCraft. I would try to watch StarCraft, like, as a spectator sport. I knew how StarCraft played, but I had no idea what they were doing or why it was good or bad.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He does. I'm watching the program that we watched. Actually it's funny that Ninja just turtled when we watched the program with Rahul. Like, he just turtled to win the actual official match.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, he's a great player, but that's what he did. He ended up just building in the center.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, but there were other matches that we watched that were pretty exciting, like they're just build, build battles where, you know, four players would build around each other with ramps and like, it, it's very hard to tell what's going on, but you know that it takes a lot of skill to do that. Uhm, that's, and that's sort of the, I still don't think it's as exciting as Overwatch to watch though.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like Overwatch is at least a first person shooter. Do you understand what a first person shooter is versus Fortnite? There's a lot of stuff going on.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So. That's bad from a competition perspective for the other 80 people.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The videos, I mean like, the videos are great when we do that, but again it's like, you don't get the event. Yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Most, most sports center around a ball. They center around one thing. And most video games do not center around one thing. It's like a... Unless it's Rocket League. Some are designed to, yea, but it's... It's got a ball. Oh, Overwatch has points. Overwatch has points or a card.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] One thing we're not giving credit to Fortnite is for our kills. And that's one thing that a lot of streamers and players will just say, oh this means something. And there's a little target that says like, you've killed three people or ten people or whatever. That is a way to measure how good you're doing in a game. Is by how many kills you've gotten. And that means you're a more exciting player.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, I see what you're saying. Like, they're playing, but they're playing two different, I guess matchmaking setups. Yeah, yeah. Because they're not ever playing against each other.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, one thing Adam, as you just said, it's like sports are, like, you were like, I don't know, sports are dying. They're not. I mean, like, people are watching them, like World Cup is like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] People watch World Cup. You know, hundreds of millions of people watch that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, what you can do is basically if you like, he likes San Francisco Giants, if you want to watch the Giants, but on TV you can't because like certain networks will just block it out and then instead we're going to show you the Dodgers and you're like, that's not what I want. MLB will let you watch your team. You have to pay like 150 bucks a year.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think they've gotten the furthest, I mean this is my opinion, but I think they've gotten the furthest than any other, like I know StarCraft and Dota have been doing it for a very long time, but


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Even though I'm partial to Overwatch, I would say Overwatch is easier to watch, but I could be wrong. You tell me. I think you've been watching Dota and Starcraft for a long time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I understand that your marital problems are going to be a part of this movie, but can we save it for the yacht scene? There's a bit of a roadblock up ahead.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So the story was about a- I don't wanna know. Did they do an oh-oh for us?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Now there's Mario Kart. Now there's Mario Kart. Yeah, Mario Kart's an enemy. This is the porno. Now there's Ruby.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I saw whatever movies there were and never, never played the game. There's two movies. I saw the both.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Final Fantasy 7. Wow, okay. I want to see the RT doc about that house and I want to find out where they are right now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was going to say, new players get something, but what about players who are on day 1689?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It could be Vicky's hair, Autumn's. Sorry, Lawrence.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Solid as a rock, in my body, and there was a point where I was like, all the time, I was like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, you know that they're physically enabled. Like they can't, they can't do that. They can't pee that way.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If God didn't exist, then why is there stitching that goes from your anus to your scrotum?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But he's Jewish and religiously he's not allowed.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Now, I want you to think about- It's a taintable. I want you to think about all the women throughout time. No. Cause we have things now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well they'd like, they'd basically like, there'd be a nurse whose sole job it would be to remind the woman that don't worry, there's a pretty good chance she'll die during this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Was there, was there a discussion before you climbed where you were like, I'm going to leave you on the ground and go watch fireworks on the roof? Or were you drunk?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Actually, I got stitches in college once because I got my lip split open.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So the good news is we can stitch you up and everything will be fine. The bad news is, we can't give you anesthetic until we start stitching you up. Because when you give people anesthetic, it causes the area to kind of balloon up. And it was basically split my lip.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And they're like, so if we do that, we'll try and line it up, but then it'll be crooked.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like your face won't, your mouth won't line up anymore, so they're like, we have to do the first stitch to line everything up.


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[Assistant] It was amazing how they stitched up your back. Cause they did the thing where they, they pinch, they do the under hook stitch.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Where you couldn't even see the stitches, like they pull the bottom, they cut so deep that they had to pull the bottom layer. You always think about just like pinching the skin together and stitching it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They pulled it out through the top and then that pulled it in, but then when they trimmed it, you didn't even see the stitch. Wow. I don't know. Stitching's amazing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I did that thing, I did that thing too where I was like, this is again audiobooks, clarifier. But I was like, hey if reading's this easy...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I supposed to know all the classics. And so I basically brought up like the like top 50 books you should read before you die. And I was like...


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[Assistant] I mean some of them are classics, like a lot of, uh, Dickens.


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[Assistant] Well, what do you mean by racism? Him writing the way the times were is not necessarily racist.


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[Assistant] I mean, I was very stringent with the people I cut out of that video. I said, Adam doesn't need these negative Nancy's in his life, is what I said. He's moving into his thirties now.


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[Assistant] It's nonsense, but what did you use to book? Uh, probably kayak I think. Kayak defaults to noon.


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[Assistant] To the right of the calendar, they have to drag.


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[Assistant] More towards zero or more towards full and that's what, but it defaults to noon.


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[Assistant] You're like, you ready to go out and get real excited and spin in circles and then SLAM.


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[Assistant] Well the best thing about watching this whole thing is we arrived and I went into the room.


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[Assistant] That's not the first time. He did it first. Every time I go to that house, I disrespect that urn.


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[Assistant] Because correct me if I'm wrong, but the owners of the boat told us it was like $20,000 to go from San Diego to Hawaii one way.


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[Assistant] Yeah, and then they'd basically be out of gas by the time they got to Hawaii and they'd have to refill.


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[Assistant] Like I'm pretty sure it was some one person and they were like, oh you think it's Rihanna? And I was like, I don't think Rihanna could afford, she could maybe rent that yacht.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I don't think she could afford, it would have to be like a Russian oligarch or some sort of, some sort of very, very rich person because a yacht is the best. There are fronts to God because


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You could get a private jet that gets you there in a 100th of the time. Sure.


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[Assistant] Cause like, if you think about a yacht out in the fucking middle of the ocean, that's


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[Assistant] He always makes something great, but I'm like, you started in negative five with the material. Why? Why did you do that?


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[Assistant] I know, that's what I'm saying. He's like, I'm gonna remake this internationally renowned film trilogy.


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[Assistant] As someone who loves climbing but someone who also falls, you're an enemy of climbing as a whole.


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[Assistant] You're hurting the climbers, the rest of the climbers. I too was a climber as a boy and climbed responsibly and never fell.


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[Assistant] Oh wait, no, you said it should have been wakanda.com. I see. I don't think we had enough letters for it. Do you want, do you have special bullet points you need me to hit?


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[Assistant] Without, without going too much into it, I think one of my favorite things, and I, this is something I mentioned at an Inside Gaming podcast when Titanfall was coming out.


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[Assistant] So if you follow the Marvel Cinematic Universe with any sort of interest, there's always some sort of game element that you can participate in that draws you in


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[Assistant] Into hype for the movie franchises and stuff that comes out. They tie the two things very well without it feeling forced.


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[Assistant] So as Infinity War is happening, you're fighting Thanos in the game. Like, and stuff like that is like super cool. And Christmas time, oh, there's Christmas things happening. Like, I love when games change because they understand people.


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[Assistant] I'm gonna play as Janet or Hope, cause you can choose from either.


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[Assistant] It's not, it really isn't gonna go on that long. It was just that my friend and I found some trees that we were like, this is perfect. And then we started building a fort up there and then we realized, yea, and then we realized that we could run a hose


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do you feel like if you lost your job for something you've said to someone on Reddit?