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[Assistant] By the way, and then the most fucked up thing is that on that palette, they have a Trisha Paytas palette.


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[Assistant] Well that's why you don't get in business with some fucking person like that, you know what I mean?


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[Assistant] Oh, we're not playing trivia. I'm down, I mean, we have it for next week. I mean, I'm down, but I feel like, uhm...


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[Assistant] Well, you know they say that he was assa- he was actually assassinated b- not because of his race stuff, but when he started talking about class and e- and inequity. Oh. When he got a- I believe it. Cause Martin Luther King was a socialist, he believed that we should have a universal ba- basic income, and when he started talking about shit like that, when he started being like,


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[Assistant] You know, the big issue is class itself. Is that there's, you know what I mean?


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[Assistant] And so, a lot of people think that's why he was killed.


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[Assistant] I actually, I think I'm like a full-blown socialist. Give away the money. I feel like my political, my political ideology, I feel like I've always kind of been on that spectrum, but these days like I'm fully in support of universal basic income, I'm fully in support of raising,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The tax on the wealthy, although I think that's less important than just taxing corporations and closing corporate loopholes. I'm fully in support.


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[Assistant] You know, one of the best things we could do to cure equality is make pu- school free. The fact that only rich people get to go to college is one of the biggest causing factors of inequality. If you make public- if you make education free, that will close the class gap big time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because poor people don't get up the mobility for poor people, and that ends up more frequently being, you know, uhm, black, black, black Americans or Hispanic people or whatever. A lot of, there's a lot of poor white people too, but.


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[Assistant] I'm fully in favor of free university. Universal healthcare. Increasing the minimum wage. You know, these all to me, I don't know why it has to be like socialism and this big boogie man work. This is literally about the embeddement of our society. And if we li- and if I could just soapbox for a moment. And if we live!


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[Assistant] And I don't understand these billionaires who pay their fucking employees like $8 an hour and all this shit. It's like, if you want to, if you don't want to get your head cut off in a guillotine,


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[Assistant] Everybody's able to flourish and be healthy because your head's gonna end up on a fucking pike in 20 years.


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[Assistant] But most of all I just want fucking America, the richest country on the earth, to actually deliver the promise of fucking-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm kidding. Now, D'Angelo Wallace kept making fun of the fact that Shane always refers to himself as an impact.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, I'm sure he did. He's a healthy spryme. I think he's fine.


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[Assistant] If you had to kill God or this guy, who would you, who would you banish?


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[Assistant] I think this, and then, what's his name? What's his, what's her fucking name?


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[Assistant] Can I refer to her as a, she's technically their dad, right? And dad is a masculine, so I'm not quite sure. But he's, it's her, but also their dad. You know what I mean?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] She refers to herself as their dad. Interesting. And what was her name?


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[Assistant] I think I'm ready. So it used to be Avatar for the longest time, but I think-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So you're way behind. I think Endgame is the most highest grossing film of all time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If this was Jeopardy, you would be wrong, and I would be right. Next! Okay.


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[Assistant] Hmm, best director. Did this film win best picture? You yelled at me for cheating last time. Well hold on, hold on.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, okay, so you're saying it may have won more awards, he just hap- okay, okay.


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[Assistant] Don't forget any. Whatever you do, don't forget any.


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[Assistant] Hopefully people in the comments agree with us. Grindhouse was a double feature film. It doesn't count as his own feature film.


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[Assistant] Made by different directors, it's not a feature film. A feature film is one person makes one film for you to go see, bro. It was part of Grindhouse. How does it not make sense? Grindhouse.


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[Assistant] I think I have a pretty good guess. You could have a pretty good guess actually based off of...


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[Assistant] This article is from 2019 August. It says, Quentin Tarantino has long maintained that he will only make ten movies, which leaves him with one more after this summer's Once Upon a Time in Hollywood, excluding the often overlooked Death Proof.


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[Assistant] Those who attempt to embarrass my knowledge of Quentin Tarantino films.


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[Assistant] What am I supposed to title it then? Cause that's like the majority of- I know!


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[Assistant] This is it, I swear to god, this is it. And be fair, don't give me a chemical romance bullshit. That question?


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[Assistant] Just take your money, I don't want you to leave three thousand dollars here. Not that.


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[Assistant] I love honey. I actually use it. I've never had an ad read before but I actually use it. I love it because I love to shop. And I'm lazy and it's perfect because it saves me money and you can be lazy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, we're like in the middle of a move and I don't know where it is. I lost the broken out it was in, which is more important, but the cash was inside, but it's fine.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We have a new music video out, Mahalan Drive. It's our last one for a couple months, but hey, it's a good push. It's good out there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What's the one that was like, ba-da-da, da-da, da-da-da, da-da, you know that one? She's got eyes that seems to me, reminds me of- You know what I'm talking about? From Step Brothers?


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[Assistant] Okay, I'm the rocker and you're not.


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[Assistant] Okay, honestly I'm really good at it. I have some friends in Pentatonix, Mitch Grassi's a friend of mine. Oh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Mmhm, Avi. I threw, yeah, I threw his stuff out of my house because he was an asshole, but...


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[Assistant] He was one of those, don't ever date a singer, he just sang all the time and he'd always have his guitar out just ready to sing.


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[Assistant] No, the other one from the group, the one that's like still in it and kicking it and killing it.


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[Assistant] This cheese was already open, did you already eat this? Do you want one or two slices on yours?


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[Assistant] Honestly, there's nothing much to talk about. Rylan's a little weasel. They are gonna get away with this shit. They're gonna glaze over it cause they're rich and they'll keep being successful and uhm, they lied. Rylan's a weasel. He lied. No one cares about your podcast. That's the only way you got views. Turn off the comments. Silence your viewers. No one like that. It's gonna go down. Your podcast will be over soon.


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[Assistant] The steam, the steam, the sex.


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[Assistant] Honestly, don't care. Honestly, I'm so over it. Like, don't disable your comments, you're a fucking coward.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh god, cause the whole thing on the, his thing too, like addressing it was that like, I'm sorry Trish can't express herself to us. Bitch, when have I ever had a problem expressing myself to anyone? I'm expressing myself right now, like I did to you, you're a little weasel.


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[Assistant] This has been hard to spread because usually I use, I can't believe it's not butter.


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[Assistant] And so he told me, we did a music video on Maui together like a year ago, and he was just like, every time someone says that, you have to pay me $30,000. So I just said it twice, so I guess we owe him $60,000.


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[Assistant] But we're still now, I'm part of the H3 Empire. Oh, the Extended Universe?


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[Assistant] It's fun though, like it's fun when you, like knowing that we're like cool and friends, like it's fun to have someone like Tourette's just like Moses is like my middle eastern, you're my Tourette's.


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[Assistant] Anyways, I love this new woke world where we have labels on things. I need to know what I am and I like it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wait, can you pause that? TTT! He cancelled the- he erased the first episode of the sip because the first episode is all about how he wasn't friends with Lizzie, his co-host, because she was friends with someone that was mean that he didn't like, that he thought was toxic, and she stayed friends with him.


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[Assistant] Yeah, and he's like, I didn't want to stay friends with you, so for four years we didn't talk because you stayed friends with this person.


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[Assistant] Oh, he had a heart attack on him. I'll definitely have a heart attack, that's how I'm gonna die. Screenshot this, when I'm like dead, you can be like, see, she predicted her own death. It'll definitely be a heart attack, I can feel it.


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[Assistant] Every time they hung out with me, my birthday, Shane's birthday, all throughout the summer when Shane was getting canceled, they came to my house, and all I kept saying is how Jeffrey sucked, and how I'm still fuckin' ups- like, upset by it, like, how are you guys still friends? But I- I didn't even judge them for being friends, I was like, okay, they need to get the coin or whatever, cause they're not gonna make videos anymore, and I was like, I wasn't even judging, but...


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[Assistant] I was supposed to marry them. Like, and they talked about it on his podcast. Like, I was supposed to marry them. Like, I was like that close to them. They asked me last year, like, this is insane to me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was literally gonna let it go until I saw this and I was like, this is someone who's supposedly my best for all this stuff like that. Like he knows all this stuff, like he's so fake. The fakeness is like insane to me.


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[Assistant] To get that paycheck, but guess what, conspiracy palettes on sale. Everything that Shane has on Jeffree's site was up 50% off now, so obviously they're trying to cut ties or something.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This guy's going down, no one fucking cares. You were irrelevant before, now you're really irrelevant now. Shane's talented, Rylan is just marrying someone who's talented. Okay, don't you.


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[Assistant] But it's good. You just can't taste the, it flattened it too much. Do you like it with the peanut butter though?


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[Assistant] With a little bit of the texture, you don't like it? Well you had two bites so you didn't hate it. Or you're just like trying to-


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[Assistant] I think they suck. They're literally the four dancing elvises, that's all they have.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Jeffrey Starr has tried to apologize to me like a couple times throughout the past year, right? I don't accept it because I heard he continued to talk shit, but, but regardless, he did try to apologize, which is more than Ryland or Shane. They never apologized. They were always like, well, I wish you would have come to us. I wish you would have never once said, I'm so sorry.


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[Assistant] It's insane. It's so insane. Even here by Jay, this like crazy ass person was like texting me like, hey, I apologize.


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[Assistant] Oh, for sure. Even when I was mad at David, he'd always be like, oh, like, David's a sociopath, did you hear this clip from this audio? But like, obviously I'm not gonna bring it up cause I don't give a fuck, but I was just like, what a weird. Anyways, whatever.


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[Assistant] Yeah, it just pops up so you don't have to search for the codes on Instagram or anything.


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[Assistant] Yeah, we got some cool stuff coming out, so whatever. We got some cool design stuff.


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[Assistant] Also, okay, why am I asking you something? Ah, it doesn't matter, I can't remember anything.


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[Assistant] I'm gonna donate mine to transequality.org, they find job placement for trans people, help get them off the streets. I'll do that too. There's such a good...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, whoever wins- oh, so wait. We're supposed to be playing for like, separate charities. Otherwise, no-


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[Assistant] Yeah, they used to put it on Mr. Ed's teeth so he could talk during the show.


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[Assistant] Who didn't? Shout out once again to Starkiller. He loves him.


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[Assistant] It pops up, it kept popping up and I'm like, what the hell is this? And then I sat with him and I was like, mmm.


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[Assistant] You guys always talk about me and I get so excited.


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[Assistant] And you guys have such a good success rate of like finding actual people. I think I should be able to pick it for people because no offense to the h3 crew, they picked some really bad contenders for me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well there's, there's a very specific guy. Are you going with the four original beetles or?


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[Assistant] Where's the Motown questions? Temptations?


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[Assistant] So no one has points, or we're just tied. Uhm. I've never lost in pop culture tri- trivia, just FYI.


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[Assistant] Alfredo is better for the record, everybody. He's perfectly fine.


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[Assistant] He's Mr. Peace and Love, isn't that his thing?


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[Assistant] Oh, I'm thinking of MetaWorld Peace. I get them confused.


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[Assistant] I thought that was the answer.


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[Assistant] Oh my god, I hate Gotella, I like disavow anything that has to do with it.


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[Assistant] Actually they did a Motown song. They did Emotion. A lot of people do Motown songs.


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[Assistant] I can't even roast you because I kinda feel bad now because you said you like love Motown and then you got a Motown question wrong so I was like, ugh, is it bad? I can't roast you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You try so hard to push the ant Hitler thing on the show. Schindler's List.


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[Assistant] I think there's something in the rules, like, you can't undo them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Back to the Future rules. I once had sex with someone from Back to the Future, can you guess who that is?


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[Assistant] Ugh, because you're, this is your life is just being a nerd about YouTube videos.


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[Assistant] You know it. But I think we talked about it. I think you know it for sure. Can we get him on the podcast?


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[Assistant] It's creepy when like men are obsessed with Ariana Grande, it's like eee, like back off. I don't, I have no idea. Yeah, I agree.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm skinnier than you and who ate the ends of their sandwich? We're going on a scale right now, I better weigh less than you.


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[Assistant] Uh, at the time I thought about it when I was trying to be like a troll and I probably not now.


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[Assistant] No, he, he killed people at the hotel then, at the Cecil Hotel.


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[Assistant] It's weird, it's weird that girl got in the water tanks, remember that like Liza Lam or whatever, that Asian porn exchange student that came over, she was in that elevator, remember she was like looking around and then she was found in like the water towers, it was that same hotel and Richard Mears like killed a murder bunch of people and I was at the hotel and I almost got murdered for real. I almost got drowned to death by a ghost for real.


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[Assistant] I'd still take it, like Joe Biden's mistress, like I would be getting like book deals.


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[Assistant] I guess not shaming is the right word. I don't like to, I don't know, I don't like to exploit like sexual things. Like if I'm consensual, you know, I don't know, it feels weird.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, you know what I mean? Like, it became like, I wanted to know more about it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The nose, the mouth, the glasses, the hair, the cheekbones.


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[Assistant] He's definitely not Bono. Thinks he's Bono. Not Bono.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm gonna discuss this. I don't know anything about dogs. Unless you're a Pomeranian.


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[Assistant] Oh my god. Are you gonna put something- I know I got it wrong, so you should just put something.


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[Assistant] Everything's alright, wow. This is Broadway and I fucking suck, so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, I was gonna guess that. Is that him? West Side Story.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] She's good, she's talented. Do you think you're as talented as her?


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[Assistant] Okay, well I'm gonna make a guess, cause I think this might be it? Or someone close to this name.


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[Assistant] And CNN and politics and everything, like everything about you is just like, I'm 16.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I have unresolved trauma from 16, that's why I revert back to it. That's what my therapist says. It's my way of coping with the trauma. So thanks for putting that up. Well, I have- 5 year was really dark and that's why I dress like this and act like this.


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[Assistant] Let me show you the picture first, hold on, this is my, this is my cosplay today. I am Gerard Way from the Revenge Era. Oh, oh.


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[Assistant] What was the name of her show that she centered on? Newlyweds. Who was she married to? Nick Lachey.


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[Assistant] I love Jessica Simpson. Dude, who's releasing our queen?


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[Assistant] He had some redemption arc when he was like in Blow and stuff, I think people were like, oh yeaah, he's kinda dope now. He had some cred.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do those cancel each other out then? He did steroids, but he had cancer, so I was like alright, we'll forgive him.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Tom Green also has one testicle. I think he had cancer too.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Put another point, Moses. Put another point. Jay-Z and Solange Knowles.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And you choose to collaborate with David Dobrik as your first social media.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And also he filmed that 24 year old Brandon Caviello like on a date with a 17 year old asking the 17 year old if sex is cool with Brandon like promoting all this crazy shit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, well there's a ton of, there's a ton of things online. You can check it out. He's gross.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Um, sadboy2005.com and Mulholland Drive is out now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Thank you. Thanks. I think it's just like being unhappy. I'm just trying to find something to fill a void.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Aww, thanks, that's so nice. So we should give Dixie the credit too, cause Dixie's doing it. Just Dixie.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So embarrassing. You know who does that? It's not that she's anybody, but Candace Cameron. No offense, cause she's like sweet, but you know Candace Cameron?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] DJ Tana from Full House. She's like in all her daughter's TikToks and like a little cringe. It's like a-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What's gonna happen? Oh my god, I'm scared. I love being ambushed though.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Jack's films is debatable if he's a true man. I think he's a poor, poor boy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A lot of people, and they gave me videos back, and they were so sweet, and they were like, oh my gosh, thank you Trish. Do you know who were smart because I got so many after that show?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And the smart ones were the ones who put, uhm, My Chemical Romance lyrics in the title. So I- I paid out everyone who gave me My Chemical Romance lyrics and the-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't think that's like 5k. She was so happy, like she gave me this whole video saying hi.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So nice. I love that you did that. But it was also like hella annoying because like on the Twitter was just, aww, here's our winners, here's our winners. And I was like, okay, let's do it on a different platform. But great, I love that you did it. That's why you need an email to do it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You remember when you were getting so pissed that I was like tweeting in Hebrew and you're like, what the fuck?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh my god, you guys made like five episodes about it, about me saying like, something in Hebrew, like love, and you're like, oh my god, that's a bitch.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I have nothing to promote next week. Oh, but next week starts Valentine's Day month, so I guess we need a...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, next time we'll do a whole little promo. I'll do something special for the front of me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, no, no. Okay, let's not talk about that. That is why no- nevermind. That is why I don't choose to watch the H3 Podcast, because it's disgusting.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Good job. We should just talk Hebrew and then we can say what we want to say.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, a really good nail artist, his name is Sean Legend, he did all the Kardashians, he's very good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I give him a tip because he comes from a house, he's great, he's accommodating, I love him so much.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Thanks. Oh, okay. Oh, we can't announce anything anyways. We can't say it for a while. Nevermind, we shouldn't.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Ah, okay. I'm a new A-stripper fan, so I don't know these things.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] BEGINS! Today we're sponsored by MeUndies, BlueChu, and Quip. We love em, we appreciate em, don't we folks?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Maybe it's a huge, cause I have like a huge shirt on, but I was telling you, okay, so me and Hila went to Vegas over the weekend for a little getaway.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Since we got vaccinated, we're like, well, let's just, you know, let's go do something.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it was fun. We're vaccinated. It was so crowded though, bro. I was like, alright, I'm putting this vaccine to the full test.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because everybody's like, you know, everyone wants to do what we did.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Where they're like, okay, it's kind of, there's, we can, if you're vaccinated and they go in Vegas, if you're vaccinated, you can take your mask off. It's like, as if these, these stupid anti-vaxxers are going to be honest about it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The CDC put out a statement saying, if you're vaccinated, you could take your mask off. So I was like, alright, let's go, Dr. Fauci.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You obviously, the vaccination is 95% effective, so you still have a 5% chance, but if you do catch it, the severity of the illness is greatly, greatly reduced.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So like even if you do catch it post vaccination, you're still greatly benefit from getting the vaccination, which everybody please should do. Thank you very much for this PSA.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But uhm, anyway, about me being skinny, when we took the jet, when we took the flight over, I was buckled in. You're a jet? It's like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, it's not, it's like out of, it's the service where it's like a private jet, but it's like commercial.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Why would I need to? This one is so, it's the same thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, the private jet is so expensive you can't even imagine.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I mean, I've heard people who fly private from like New York, like, you know, cross country. It's like $50,000, $100,000. I was like, excuse me, no fucking way.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Daddy, daddy needs some cheddar for this trailer lawsuit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh yea, Triller's trying to take my... Triller's coming after me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I go, look, Hila, it's, it's all the way, it's like extended to the max, and that, and it fit me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do you understand what I'm saying? Yeaah. I could not possibly be any bigger.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I know, that's what I- I have a freak body, dude. When we got measurements for one of the outfits, the tailor was like, this shit is- this is not right, what you're telling me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Bro, are you fucking kidding me? I was 36 when I was skinny. Guess my actual waist size.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So we had to go to- No, I went- I went- first of all, I got a shirt from the Gucci store and they were showing us like, pants that I really liked and wanted. And so I- I shit you not. They're like, here's the biggest size we have in the whole store. It goes up to like, here. Do you understand what I'm saying? Here. This is all the time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I had to go get, there was this one store where they tailor the pants for you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well anyway, I got these, I got these 42's, and boy, I have the biggest fucking dump truck waste ever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like even when I was skinny, my waist size was 36. That's why I always thought I was fat.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I thought you were serious. No. Well you were there in Malibu on the weekend.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I, and I remember, with peace and love to you,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I gave it to Trisha to clip on.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think I have to bet- Damn, what's your waist size? Uh, it's about 36. 36? I dream of being 36.


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[Assistant] It's not, listen, it ain't hard to get a big belly. Let me tell you, it's not that luxurious.


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[Assistant] Anyway, I'm trying to lose weight.


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[Assistant] You know what's funny? How, how much conversation being fat takes up on this show? Like if you, if you look at all of the history of this show.


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[Assistant] This insight? None. None on the planet. Other than, we're fat, we are big fat fat fatties, is a podcast where they talk.


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[Assistant] I wouldn't say- I don't- I wouldn't say I hate myse- I mean, there's been times in my life when I've been self-loathing, when I was like really depressed, but-


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[Assistant] But it's all because, I mean, it's my own fault, you know, it's like I've neglected my spot.


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[Assistant] They remind, you've seen Good Will Hunting where Robin Williams goes, it's not your fault, Will.


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[Assistant] Cause he's good. And it's a play on words. Yeaah.


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[Assistant] Dan, you know what I'm talking about, it's an iconic scene. That's what Trisha's doing to me right now, it's not your fault Ethan. I know, I know, I know.


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[Assistant] Well, he's a known, he's known for, you know, doing that stuff.


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[Assistant] Yes, Flubber. Hello, people. Flubber. Are you guys forgetting about this classic film, uh, Flubber?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, that's so interesting. Of course you had sex with Robin Williams. That's your- you have had sex with like every celebrity it seems like.


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[Assistant] I mean, I mean, that's amazing that you crossed paths with this incredible person.


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[Assistant] Robin Williams is by far a much cooler fuck than Lil Xan. I'm sorry, what?


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[Assistant] Little Xan is like, he looks like a little baby, and he's like a little baby too.


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[Assistant] I mean, the thing is, I definitely, there's nothing anybody could say about my parents that would actually upset me.


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[Assistant] Yeah, yeah, I agree. It's like, okay, let's go. I'm fat. Let's look at you, bitch.


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[Assistant] No, uh, anyway, I'm doing that, but fat people.


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[Assistant] They're like fat people do not ride private. Let's be honest.


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[Assistant] They don't shop designer, and they don't ride private.


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[Assistant] Well, what are they gonna do? They're spending all their money on food.


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[Assistant] Okay, and- Am I part of this? No. Although, no.


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[Assistant] Well, I've been sued once before by this dude Matt Haas for the same thing and we took him all the way to court and we won. I'm about to do that again.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, our, our, our, we sold a kajillion pay-per-view and we had Justin Bieber. It's like, okay, so why exactly are you suing me to try to like peer pressure into people just suspending $4.99?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Anyway, if- Listen, because I feel like you don't have my back right now- I-


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[Assistant] Uhm, I'm gonna, I have a lawyer, we're gonna go over everything, I'll make sure you're coach.


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[Assistant] Yeah, it has nothing to do with you being Jewish.


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[Assistant] But if you just needed another reason to help support me against this un, let me think of like a real question. So this is Jason's new, this is the Jason Nash show, he was paying people like $10 for 8 hours of work.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So they apparently s- wait, are we sure about this? It says Trilled Studios. Are we sure there's an association?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, why else would he write trilled? And why is there a dude on a banjo? It doesn't say trilled. It says trilled.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It says Trill. Oh, Triller. What? Studio. I thought it said Trilled.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, so then there's what I'm saying, like, Triller is supporting Jason Nash, vis-a-vis, you are in the trenches with me now.


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[Assistant] Because are we have share, we have common enemies. What do you mean?


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[Assistant] You want to know what other creep trillers backing? Who? Jake Paul.


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[Assistant] Well I do know that the New York Times wrote a profile on him that was exhaustedly


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[Assistant] As the author said on our show, carefully vetted that it incredibly accused Jake Paul of being a rapist.


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[Assistant] Jake Paul is a partial owner of Triller, and some people have speculated even further


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[Assistant] Not myself, of course, but people on the internet have speculated even further that this is a spite lawsuit, fueled by J. Cole and-


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[Assistant] Because in their original lawsuit, they listed like 20 people. And they're like, we're going after all these people. And then the judge is like, this is the dumbest thing I've ever read. It's an improper jointer. It means they put everyone together improperly. So the judge threw out the lawsuit, and then guess who they filed? Of those 20 people, guess who they refiled against only? Yeah. Yeah.


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[Assistant] It's a fair use lawsuit. They're suing me for watching a clip of the fight on my show. That's what they're suing me for.


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[Assistant] Five days after the fight, I watched 45 seconds, commented over the whole thing, it is literally fair use what I do every day, day in day out, and I need to fucking put my foot down against people that are threatening not only my life, my way of life, my constitutional first amendment right, and everybody else on YouTube.


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[Assistant] Yeah, he resigned. His farewell. Okay, thank you. But yeah, you're Alexander Hamilton. Do you accept the post? Is it my right hand man? Thank you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I watched a Lin-Manuel musical about like, me taking a shit.


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[Assistant] Anyway, Triller's gonna go out of business for sure because like nobody uses their dumb app. It's horrible. It's just a TikTok ripoff. Their events suck. Haven't you heard of Triller the app?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, so there's this app, so they're primarily a media company that has like a TikTok ripoff app.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're just hemorrhaging money, cause they're trying to pay people to do the stuff, and like, paying Jason Nash, who nobody's gonna watch that. And so why is there a dude playing a banjo?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He could, he could enter into, would you be okay for Jason to enter a consensual sexual relationship with that man?


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[Assistant] So age appropriate, 80 year old man, I'm feeling it.


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[Assistant] Oh my god bro, you have to be more original than that. That is exactly the Eric Andre show. It's so painfully unoriginal. I'm sorry Jason, but.


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[Assistant] It's just you can't rip, you can't do like a carbon copy.


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[Assistant] Also, he doesn't have, he can't, I'm sorry, Jason, I don't know what, he can't pull that off.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, wait, hold on, hold on, hold on. Okay, alright, there's definitely something going on with you right now. Let me watch the second episode.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, this is, this is what they did. He's got makeup and hair, you know what I mean? Like this is, he's got a stylist, like this is the best he can do.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So when you fucked, like, when you fucked, like, the ugliest dude ever, you've ever fucked, what were you thinking? Like, I just, like, what, what?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I did not fart and how dare you. Why would I bring it up? You smelted Delta, you believe that?


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[Assistant] The top comment is, Jason is dead inside, his eyes are so empty.


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[Assistant] Probably the most accurate title to a video I've ever read. Oof, that's brutal. Oh, yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Jason, how do you feel about that cut to Jason? We should just save this and then cut to Jason.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hi friends, MeUndies believes that comfort is about more than what touches your skin. It's about feeling comfortable in your skin, and that's why MeUndies not only uses sustainable, breathable, soft as heck, but also gives you endless styles to choose from. It's a total comfort inside and out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And to be honest, as a big fatty whose legs, like, chafe and rub together, it makes a big difference.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Listen, they also have a membership. Never leave your couch again with a MeUndies membership, a monthly subscription that sends new pairs right to your door.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Get the membership. Our members get a great offer right now. Any first time purchase you get 15% off and free shipping. What? Meandies also has a problem free philosophy. If you're not 100% satisfied with any product for any reason, full refund.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Or exchange, no caveats, no questions, they'll sniff it just one time and throw it out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] To get 50% off your first order and free shipping go to meandies.com


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This episode is sponsored by Bluechew. Woo, finally got that Bluechew. Hey, let's chew that blue and get rid of those blue balls.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Play the tune anyway. What is blue chew? Guys, it's been a hell of a year. Personally, I feel like I've aged 12 years over the last 12 months, if you know what I mean. And I'm specifically talking about my wee wah, aging 12 years. Oh, okay. Alright, I don't know. That didn't happen.


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[Assistant] Viagra and Cialis, that's the drug that gets your weenwah.


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[Assistant] Blue shoes licensed medical providers work with you to find the right ingredients, strength for your prescription. Don't like swallowing pills? No problem here, because I'm gonna chew it like a


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, mm, chew. Like when I- I'm gonna chew it like I chew carpet.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Butchers, uh, I don't know how to say this. Sildenafil. Sili- Sildenafil. Why'd they make me say that?


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[Assistant] Okay, do I need to tell y'all about Quip again? This is the company, by the way, Pink and Black. I-I don't remember, but you guys crushed it on the last time when we did the competition, and Trisha, of course, won, as I knew you would, and everything. This feels like weird sexual.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This toothbrush is insane. I love it. I'm obsessed with oral hygiene and I will never use another toothbrush. Let me explain. Click it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It vibrates. Every dentist tells you vibrating toothbrush give you the best brush. Period. Period. End of story. End of story. And it helps you get that perfect brush because it times it 30 seconds and then it goes wah wah and then you go 30 seconds wah wah, 30 seconds wah wah. You get the idea. You get that perfect brush so that you always know that you're getting that 2 minute dentist recommended brush. Bam, slam, damn.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Getquip.com, code peace and love. And remember, each, uh, purchase is a $10 to a non-profit charity. That's amazing. I, I couldn't remember, but last I heard they raised like $10,000 from you guys.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, so if you want to support Trisha's, uh, charity, which is the National Center for Transgender Equality, or if you want to support mine, or if you just like black toothbrushes better, you can, uh, mine goes to support the Trevor Project.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So who do you think will raise the most money? Trisha obviously. But get it, go to Q, Q, not Q.


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[Assistant] We're back. You know, Jason's probably like, is she really talking about me again? Like, but he has a con- Okay, let's not talk about Jason Ash. I was just thinking, like, in his mind, it's like,


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[Assistant] Okay, no, nobody says you can't. Okay, let's stop, let's stop.


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[Assistant] Mike, okay, so this is fun. By the way, the theme of this episode is like, uh,


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[Assistant] The dip, the dipshits of YouTube. It's like all the, all the, uhm, all the alpha males are coming after us.


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[Assistant] I can't, I've always hated frat boys and the bravado of that whole, like, uh, alpha maleness.


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[Assistant] And I f- and I just find myself always at odds with these douchebags. And like, Mike and-


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[Assistant] And face blanks are like the epitome of like alpha brain, like, ooh, hey bro, I'm a fuckin' alpha.


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[Assistant] So anyway, here's, let's show the clip before we get too heated.


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[Assistant] Wake up and fear me. Well, it's just so stupid. That's what I'm joking about. Charlie D'Amelio wakes up. Oh, I'm so afraid.


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[Assistant] But like, I mean, I think what he's worried about is that Mike is a giant pants-shitting dumbass and Faze Blanks is threatened by my fast intellect.


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[Assistant] He hates me because everybody does. All these bros do.


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[Assistant] No, I'm just, I'm not part of the boys club, I just don't care about their dumb fucking like, cool duck guy party, go fuck chicks thing. Like it's just, I think they're, I think they're insecure little boys that are trying to act tough because they're little babies inside.


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[Assistant] Hello, they're like the biggest fucking influencers the world has ever known. Like, that's literally how being a celebrity works, dumb fuck. And I'm not even the- and we're just having fun, so fuck you, Mikey bitch ass. Yeah, at least we wait till Monday.


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[Assistant] Okay, let's, uh, let's, okay, let's just practice, serenity now, let's just practice, let's just watch the clip for the sake of the audience, and then let's comment.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's like, I was the- again, this is the same type of alpha bullshit that is just so pathetic and insecure. He's like, I was the cool kid at high school, unlike H3H3. He should be against bullying.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But Mike, how old is Mike? Again, and you'll find that all these frat boys are obsessed with high school when they were cool. They're like, I was so cool bro, high school was the best time of my life.


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[Assistant] Bro, be afraid of people who go, high school was the best time of my life.


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[Assistant] But uh, isn't he kind of bullying me though at the same time?


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[Assistant] He's like fuckin' nerd. I'ma throw your ass in a trash can, bitch. If I was in high school, I would fuckin' kick your ass, bro. Yeah.


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[Assistant] One Punch Man. One Punch Man. Yeah, that's why I love One Punch Man. He's the ultimate anti-bully.


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[Assistant] So he said, wait, let me go back. I have delivery. I know.


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[Assistant] His brain is made of hot dog, I think.


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[Assistant] They're like, uh, human popsicles. They're like flesh popsicles. They're just sacks of meat. They're just like, oooh.


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[Assistant] When he says cleaning up, he's saying, I didn't fuck chicks. And that's what makes me not cool.


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[Assistant] No, I know you're kidding. I'm kidding. Well, I don't care. First of all, I don't judge people by how many people they've slept with. That's the- that's one of the things that these alpha fucking brains think is like, that's literally the times that I've had like vicarious sex.


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[Assistant] Being a human being is that they, they really value themselves by how many women they slept with. And I just find that so odd.


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[Assistant] Mike, such a legend. Yea, but did you fuck chicks like Mike?


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[Assistant] I just think, I'm sorry, that's so traumatic, but I think it's hilarious that he calls that bullying.


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[Assistant] This is so, I don't know. This is so funny how off he is. Okay, go ahead, Mike. Go off. Go off, King.


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[Assistant] Because they're part of the fraternity of like, don't ask, don't tell, right?


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[Assistant] They like David Dobrik and they think we're doing him dirty. So it's like...


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[Assistant] Exactly, and like shit on the rep- like Jeff, okay, he's- he's doing his part to like make good, but like let's not forget that he was the guy that literally told his fans to go f- to go harass the reporter.


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[Assistant] Because he is so s- he- the problem is, Mike, is that now that you're out of high school and you're a big boy,


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[Assistant] Uhm, and I don't fit in a trash can or locker anymore. I'm way too fat.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I say, oh, my new insult is, Mike, why don't you suck my tiny Jewish dick?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So wait, their entire argument is that we have convinced ourselves that we're the do-gooders because, but that's not true because one time you made fun of Dixie D'Amelio. That we're a bunch of frauds because, because-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And he owned, he had recently admitted to owning a website called CSGO wild, which is basically a gambling website for kids where he, and they're super shady. I don't know the details about his gambling site, so I don't want to speak out of school, but he ba- but these websites, I'm not, I don't know if his did or to what extent, but, uh, they basically steal money from kids.


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[Assistant] The truth is that all these guys are scared of us because they all have allegations against them and they're super scared that we're gonna fucking talk about them.


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[Assistant] Fuck Bill Gates, I know it's like a joke, but like can you imagine like straddling Gates? Oh baby! He sounds like Yoda.


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[Assistant] By the way, he is kind of the ultimate loser right now, like he took the L from Lana and Logan the same week.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] By the way, interesting about hating sex workers and being a womanizer, one of the things Alana said when she dumped him is that he was mad that she didn't want to have a threesome with him. Like, oh, she's a porn star, so she's supposed to do any sexual thing you want.


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[Assistant] That's what I'm saying, this is like the frat boys, like, the fucking alpha brains of YouTube.


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[Assistant] Yeah, yeah, I know. Okay, let's, let's get, let's, we're never gonna make our way through this video.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] People love that. I'm getting a lake home pro- lakefront property in the- in the same community.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They hate, they don't respect women. And I, and I don't say that lightly because just, again, fast forward to, uh, Mike being like, Ethan barely got any pussy in college as like the ultimate insult.


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[Assistant] Epic and sold. Thank you so much. Hit him with the sound bite.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm kidding, I'm kidding. Let's continue because this whole thing is gold. I didn't realize we would get to squeeze this like a fucking juicy lemon.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I have plenty of stuff, excuse me. Slow news day for who?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is that a good- is that a better- do you like beta banks, Dan?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, it's hard, but like, so these guys would all consider themselves alpha males probably, at least for sure Banks and Mike. That means like, I'm the alpha male and beta males are like little, they would probably consider me a beta.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, whatever, I think the whole alpha beta thing is stupid, but I'm more of an Omega man myself. What was that called, Dan? No, not Omega.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think Beta Banks is pretty funny, just because I think it would insult him more.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's pretty good. Trisha's out here. Watch the fuck- Oh, he knew he fucked up. You see his face? Little Beta Banks was like, nobody heard me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Here, can you zoom, Dan? I don't know why it won't let me zoom. This is important.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, we see it. No, no, no, no, no. This is important to capture the beta-ness of this moment. The blankness. Dan's working on zooming. Here we go.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Dan is crunching the numbers. We are- But I don't- I'm supposed to be able to zoom on Apple.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's a John Lennon song, Mom You Left Me, but I Didn't Leave You. You think your mom left him? That's not it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know anything about his personal life. I'm sorry. Yeaah. I am bullying him.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, but FaZe Blanks, he's so insecure, the minute he goes, I like them, and then he goes, oh no no no no, oh I don't know, but I don't want to commit to that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wait, where's the one of- Anyway, on the- on the same episode, Faze blanks.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is not from the, is a different podcast of him and Keemstar. And, uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's responding to me making fun of him and calling him face blanks.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I made these jokes on After Dark, so I know people get mad, but let me crunch the numbers for you, FaZe Blanks. The only IQ number more different than mine would be zero.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's the only infinite difference. Therefore, I am infinitely smarter than Faze Blanks. Checkmate. He has a zero IQ. Right Dan? I don't know if that made any sense. Zero is infinitely different.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The difference is, it's undefined. I'm trying to make a, dude, it's a well-known scientific principle that zero and infinity is kind of a close, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Kind of an equivalent approximation of things, right? You have infinite nothingness, and you have infinite somethingness. Therefore, my IQ is infinitely higher than Faze Blink's, because he says he's infinitely smarter than me, that means that it has to have a zero IQ, I have like a 60 to 50 IQ, therefore I'm infinitely smarter.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You wanna burn- hey, hey FaZe, hey FaZe, hey FaZe, uh, beta, beta blanks, you wanna go burn a cross with me?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Or not with me, I mean, sorry. Hey, FaZeKKKClan, you wanna go burn a cross? I'll call the police, I won't be there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I guess, well, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I make no apologies.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right? Unless it's in a- Unless it's in a settlement agreement.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, going down this thread of Mike being a giant douche, uh, Lana, uh, you know, she's like the world's most famous porn star, she's gotta be right.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think Lana, I think Lana dethroned her.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] She seems fine, I mean, I, you know, I have no problem. But anyway, she started leaking all these DMs of his, and it's so fucking awesome. He's literally sent her a pros and cons of-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Now, first of all, if you wanna know what a baby, what a little boy, uhm, thirty-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] By the way, I'm 35, but I'm just saying, like, I have a, like, I mean, it's time to grow up, Mike. She bought, she bought a house.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] For them to live in. And he said he was gonna move in with her.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Twice. And then when the date comes when you're supposed to move in, he goes, baby, I'm moving in with FaZe blanks to make a content house.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think they just, I think they probably have issues with their mom or something and that's why they hate women. That's usually what it is, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Anyway, here's the pros and cons. He literally sent this to her after she dumped him, right? She dumped his ass for being a child.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Again, such a meathead, he thinks that that's the biggest compliment you can pay a girl.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, literally for your looks only. Extremely loyal.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hard working and successful. Wild sex appeal. Okay. You already said she was pretty.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] She said, she said, he sent me a list of pros and cons and most of it was just an insult.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Shared love of travel, food, and experience. Oh, you love to travel? That's so interesting of you, Mike.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He loves to travel and he loves food. That's so interesting. Nobody likes to travel or eat. Literally nobody else other than the mic loves that. So interesting. Pretty solid taste in music. Decent. Not that good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's like, here's the only thing I can think to justify dating you. Pretty good taste in music. Decent.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Always have my back? She sounds like a fucking badass girlfriend.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That she, for whatever reason, he's like the dude from that, like, the fairy tale ones where there's like a show on Netflix like The Baker and the Superstar, he's The Baker. It's like this badass superstar is attracted to you for some reason that nobody fucking understands, and you're sending her wha- do's and don'ts.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, so here we go. She says, he says she's sickly obsessed with social normalities. Uh, she's a porn star, dude.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Even though everything your life is about is outside the box, then shaming for my liberal thinking and approach to life, another layer of hypocrisy. Literally so unspecific.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's like, girl, you are so obsessed with social normalities, I'm a 34-year-old man trying to move in with phased blanks and start a hype house.


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[Assistant] That probably is what he's referring to there. Yeah, that's exactly what he is. I mean, yeah dude, literally, literally try to find a self-respecting woman in this world that is okay with that.


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[Assistant] That is the most embarrassing thing. Like if you're 20,


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[Assistant] Like Jake Paul, uh, Content Houses, Team 10, I get it.


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[Assistant] I get it. Who are you gonna recruit to be in that house? 30 and 35 years old. Are you gonna, like nobody's gonna come live in your content house except like 18 year olds.


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[Assistant] Because anyone with anything going on in their life at all is not gonna live there. Including you, I would think.


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[Assistant] Okay, here we go. Extremely needy when it comes to time together. I'm sorry. That sounds like a good thing.


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[Assistant] Be here at 9 or don't come at all. Sounds like your ass is always fucking flaky.


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[Assistant] And unwilling to accommodate to make those times happen. Come to my house, I'm not coming there. I don't want to see anyone. It has to be just me and us. Yeah, because you're always trying to vlog everything and she actually just wants to spend- she sounds like a really good girlfriend if I'm being totally honest.


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[Assistant] She's like, come spend quality time with me, and he shows up with like, like all of his homies and a camera in her face.


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[Assistant] I don't want to see any, anyone. It has to be just us or leave me alone. Bro, you are so thick fucking headed. The girl wants to spend quality time with you. That's a good thing. That's a good thing. She actually likes being with you, which is probably something that nobody else in your life can actually say.


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[Assistant] No, he's contradicting himself. He's saying, I don't want to spend time with you, but I'm also mad that you won't come to the gym with me. It's like, she can only exist in things, he can only make time for her in activities he's already doing anyway. If he cannot make her feel any less special.


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[Assistant] Bro, did he really write this? Chewing with mouth fully open, making slop noises almost on purpose when I've told you a thousand times how disgusting it is plus numerous other social faux pas? You are a walking faux pas! You are a human faux pas!


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[Assistant] Oh, I can't. Girl, baby, it'll never work. You two with your mouth open.


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[Assistant] But also it's, it's the, it's the expectation of him not respecting like, you're a porn star, you do this for film, you, I'm entitled to do it with you at home.


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[Assistant] She deleted them. I guess she felt bad, but hey, we're here.


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[Assistant] I actually, I actually, based on his list of cons, I actually have a lot of respect for her and she sounds like a really good girlfriend. Like a really loving, good-


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[Assistant] And standing Lana. I'm going to say this once for all. My beef with Mike is deeper than the pros and cons list. We had, we had an agreement to be honest if we were sleeping with other people. He lied and I found a used condom in his garbage the day I came over after wig brunch.


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[Assistant] He told me, used it to jerk off and then later admitted he did cheat on me.


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[Assistant] You are literally the dumbest person alive. Like, I mean, nobody should love- I don't think you're lovable.


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[Assistant] Uh, Faze. Faze KKK, or sorry, Faze Grand Wizard. Faze Clan Grand Wizard.


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[Assistant] He said he was gonna move in with me finally and then the next day he said he would be moving in with Faze Blanks instead. His first YouTube title after we broke up was literally, I'm moving in with Summer Rae. I've been continuously disrespected publicly by him and after the break have said nothing. Stan.


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[Assistant] You can tell in the pros and cons, it's all gaslighting, cause he's trying to list things that are bad, that are actually good traits of her trying to be a good girlfriend.


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[Assistant] Like, you wanting to spend quality time with me without cameras and people there? Con.


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[Assistant] And you know what? That part, by the way, when he wrote about her eating habits, that came at the end of a very long, thoughtful note. That was something that he thought about. And he was like, that I want to definitely include to her.


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[Assistant] No, what's the deal, uh, Chrissy Teigen and I, I just didn't, I'm not super, she was like this mega bully. It's kind of insane, like she was like really telling a girl to like kill herself.


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[Assistant] I think it just came out, but when I read those, and people go, oh it was 10 years ago, I'm like, that violinist is kind of unforgivable.


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[Assistant] And in a direct message, not like a tweet, right? Like specifically going to them in a direct message where they only, they can see it instantly.


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[Assistant] Well, let me see the apology. Here, let me, Ian, can you set that up?


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[Assistant] I think she'll get, I think she'll, that story is so vile, I think it will catch up.


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[Assistant] That's, unless she was like 16, I could forgive her at the time. Maybe- No, but- No, she was a-


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[Assistant] 26 is old enough to know not to do that. I mean, that's, that's psycho.


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[Assistant] Here she apologizes on Twitter. Not a lot of people are lucky enough to be held accountable for all their past bullshit in front of the entire world. Oh, that's like passive aggressive.


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[Assistant] Not enough people are lucky to be held for all their bullshit and tire the front of the world. I'm mortified and sad at who I used to be. I was an insecure attention seeker troll. I'm ashamed and completely embarrassed at my behavior. But that is nothing compared to how I make Courtney feel. I have worked so hard to give you guys joy and be beloved and the feeling of letting you down is nearly unbearable truly. These were not


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[Assistant] She needs your permission to heal. I am so sorry, I let you guys down. I will forever work on being better than I was ten years ago, one year ago, six months ago.


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[Assistant] Well trolling is like saying something you don't necessarily believe with to get a reaction. How is that when you're in the DMs?


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[Assistant] You're right. Cancel em all. We just said, did you know Naomi Campbell used to hang out with Epstein on his island? Cancel her. Cancel her.


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[Assistant] I've been. Twice. I'm on the flight log. No, I'm just kidding.


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[Assistant] Hey dude, I've got my own island where I have like this weird Greek temple where we make human sacrifices. You wanna come spend the weekend?


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[Assistant] Alright, speaking of toxicity, since we're just attacking all the dumbass bros of YouTube, Keemstar.


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[Assistant] Who as you know is the, probably the worst person alive. As I continue to emphasize, uh, a little thing came up that I wanted to talk about.


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[Assistant] Uhm, Keemstar, I can't, no by the way, I didn't, Deaf Noodle posted this like, long old clip of Keemstar saying to me, he goes to his phone, he's streaming and he goes, everybody go to h3h3 and send him a tweet that says, death to all Jews.


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[Assistant] Like dude, he literally goes, he's slandering me. You guys are all tired of it by now. He took it from the PewDiePie story. And then DefNoodles was like, bitch, you're fucking dumb.


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[Assistant] I don't think he loves it. I don't think he loves it. He's lying about it. He's saying it wasn't him and now he's bitched out. By the way, this is the clip he's talking about, which is hilarious. I love that he's trying to defend. I said, I was born in the wrong generation. That's the thumbnail we made about him. And it's so funny.


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[Assistant] Well, yeah, it's just a joke. He wasn't actually doing an octopus loop.


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[Assistant] I don't, the thing is, like, okay, I know who you're talking about, and she's like, and she's like a spaz, right, and annoying, but Keemstar is actually an evil, horrible person. No, but this person actually is too. But the things that, no, but the things that she's, that Keemstar's done, is things that nobody on the internet has even come close to doing. You know, she's not such a kid.


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[Assistant] I think it's great because nobody calls him out because he's such a toxic piece of shit. People are all scared of him because they know that he's such a psycho. Of course.


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[Assistant] No, it's fine, I don't care if he talks about me. I don't give a fuck. I think it's funny that he's actually being like, I didn't say death to all Jews and then he's like, oh wait, I did say death to all Jews.


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[Assistant] But I don't like to let him have that power over me. Where it's like, oh he's so fucking crazy that I can never call him out because he has no limit to trying to ruin your life.


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[Assistant] That's, that's the part of me that's like, I do not fucking ever back down against people because of, oh, he's, that's his thing. I'm so fucking crazy and psycho and I lie and so, like, that's bullshit. But you've called him out on this. He deserves to be called out more than anybody.


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[Assistant] He actually made a video being like, okay, I did say that. He said, I'm not sorry for what I said. I'm sorry I got caught. Huge difference, you dumb bitch. He just, I thought that was funny. He said it to this girl who's like,


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[Assistant] Uhm, oh, this is him admitting that he sent people to say death to a Jews to me. I'll just watch it for a minute.


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[Assistant] That's a great sound bite, by the way. You know we're gonna grab that.


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[Assistant] Uhm, this is a audio from back in the day.


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[Assistant] Okay, Keemstar used to be a streamer, uh, trash talker.


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[Assistant] And this is a, this was, according to the person that recorded this, here I'll read it to you.


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[Assistant] Because Keemstar says this was a joke or whatever. And I'll just say, Keemstar says that he had his wife came out and made a statement like, oh I was just kidding. Okay? But let me read this. This is my video, I really don't know what this, their argument was about back in the day, this video.


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[Assistant] Was all trash talking and I caught this incident between Keem and his girlfriend at the time who he had a kid with. I see him doing well for himself now and good on him.


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[Assistant] Just being a hate figure which got him rich.


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[Assistant] He was virtually unknown at the time and was somebody at the time was basically we were bullying. We grew up and I guess he didn't and he just liked kids attention. Okay, so this is a video.


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[Assistant] Again, the Keemstar is, this is one of these things that's like, uh, bro, this is something you can't live down, okay?


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[Assistant] Yeah, he's a fucking liar psychopath. Why should we be afraid to call him out? Because he's so, because he's so toxic. I just, I think that's bullshit.


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[Assistant] Yeah, because he's, he's shameless, and he's psychotic, and he'll lie about you, and as he's done about me and my whole career. He has no reason to go after you, other than that we're friends.


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[Assistant] I feel like that's fucked up that he uses that as a defense to scare people, but I know what you mean.


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[Assistant] Uhm, anyway, he said about this clip that his girlfriend


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[Assistant] Came out and made a statement saying it was all sketch and all a joke, which is what he says about everything. Even though he was a nobody at the time and it was randomly recorded, so I don't know what's the joke exactly.


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[Assistant] Uuuuh, Bryce Hall wants to fight me.


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[Assistant] Well they say like when it comes to like, like true personality disorder, like psychopaths or like narcissists, then the best thing to do is to disengage.


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[Assistant] No, he's not, he's not a like, they're like normal douche, he's like clinically dangerous douche.


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[Assistant] I know, I know what you mean. But first, yea, we don't have to talk about him anymore. Bryce Hall is so much more, like, light.


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[Assistant] I won't- I won't bring it up anymore. But if it's something that affects you- I'll bring- I'll bring- That's the pro- To me, I feel like it really effec-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know, I felt like a conversation and I, but I understand, I'll leave the death to all geosoundbites on after dark.


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[Assistant] He says, I don't know why these grandpas and grandmas, dude, it's like bro, seriously?


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[Assistant] We should change our podcast to the bullying tube fat loser bully kids.


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[Assistant] But I think he's exaggerating. I don't think I go after 17 year olds. Maybe you do.


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[Assistant] There's not many people like, you know, the dude we just talked about. There's really nobody like him on the whole internet. There's not.


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[Assistant] And you can have fun and argue and shit on each other. Like my relationship with the Paul brothers or Mike or even Faze Blanks. I know that it's like there's a certain boundary that normal people don't cross, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, so Bryce Hall, uhm, one other thing about Bryce Hall that's so funny, cause he acts like such a tough guy, you know, he does these videos where he shows up and wants to fight people. I think he wanted to do that on our podcast too. He's like, let me roll up. He DM'd me. Oh, that's what pissed him off.


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[Assistant] Cause he DM'd me on Instagram and I sh- talked about him.


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[Assistant] Well anyway, he's such a bitch it turns out, this guy actually took his hat at a party. The one time he actually had a chance to actually get enough physical conflict with someone and he bitched out.


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[Assistant] But the funny part- Oh no, the video's not- the video's down.


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[Assistant] That's so gross. Yeah, I just remember all the kids had to go to the nurse during school and they were all like Doing like this like checking for lice and they're like you got lice and I had to use like special shampoo to kill the lice


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[Assistant] Okay, let's put an embargo on Keemstar and Jason on this show.


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[Assistant] I feel like I used to feel that way about Kim, but I've just, I knew that


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[Assistant] In my, I'm not comparing it to your situation, but I was like, I have to just take this motherfucker on, because he kept coming at me with all these lies and all these lies, and I was like, bro, I can't live with this dude just lying about me. So I was like, alright, let's go to the bat.


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[Assistant] And I just put it all on the table in this three-part documentary. And since then, it's like, I feel so liberated because I can fucking talk about him and say the shit that I want to say about him, which is that he's a dangerous human being that should probably be in a fucking insane asylum next to the Joker. Two-face. He's like a Batman villain, bruh.


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[Assistant] I was doing Off the Rails, that's our Wednesday episode, for one month and now I'm being sued by Triller. Cause it was an Off the Rails episode.


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[Assistant] Thank you everyone for watching, it's been such a tremendous fun time with my bestie, not even my frenemy.


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[Assistant] You're probably, you might be even number one. How do you tell who's number one?


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[Assistant] I'm actually, I actually think OnlyFans, the culture of that is so cool how, because the porn industry has been so traditionally like, predatory, and these girls are making them so much money and not getting paid anything, and now they're, have all the power, they're making, they're becoming literally millionaires.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But someone like Lana Rose, she's like becoming like a multi-millionaire. Amazing. Alright, we gotta wrap it up. Shoutout to Lana, we stan Lana. Mike, you're a douche. Thanks for watching.


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[Assistant] I mean, come on, I'm like his, uh, you know, his cousin who's, uh, uh, a little more PC because it is 2021, but not quite.


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[Assistant] I'm a little crusty, it's a little wet, you know, so I'm gonna put my dick in a nice little hole for me, old yellow, you know, put it around the block, chill.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Should we plan something to say, like, should we have an opening tagline like most podcasts do?


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[Assistant] But they usually like go like, hey everybody, or they have some kind of way to open it so it's not as awkward.


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[Assistant] Oh, that's interesting. Dan, you want to announce? What would you say? Oh, geez, I don't know. Say, say, Hi! Good! It's gotta be really dumb. Top good!


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[Assistant] So, well, we have more than that to talk about. First of all, there was a lot of drama on our show surrounding one of our cast members that said something about the situation with David. And I also want to talk about David a little bit before we move on.


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[Assistant] I should not have allowed that to occur. I thought AH! Excuse me. Getting out the-


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[Assistant] AB, I, we had arguing this, been arguing this backstage.


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[Assistant] And I was like, wow, this, you know, this is, I thought it would be just like entertaining to debate it.


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[Assistant] But, I should have been more considerate knowing that it would have triggered you.


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[Assistant] So I, and then, and then on the other hand, I also should apologize. I do apologize to AB because I, first of all, the amount of shit he got,


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[Assistant] I knew he would get some. I thought maybe it would be like funny shit, but it turned out being like really intense, mean, death threat-y shit.


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[Assistant] I know, but I should have known, I should have, like, we were having those debates backstage and I should have not put em, I should have said like, these are, these are better off camera.


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[Assistant] We were debating. It wasn't like, oh, this is a perspective we agree with. But that being said-


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[Assistant] You know what, I totally agree and I, and I failed everybody. Or invite someone.


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[Assistant] And so my thought process was like, let's bring it out in the open and, and then deal with this kind of thing. Cause I feel like me and Hila push back on it a lot.


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[Assistant] And so we, we were like, okay well, this is how, there's a lot of people that feel this way, so let's talk this out. So I thought-


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[Assistant] I agree with you, but I'm saying, if we put this conversation forward, maybe we can convince people to- that they shouldn't think the way he does.


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[Assistant] People who are presenting that argument that AB did, I wanted to give people a response to it so the people who watch our podcast can think, oh, what AB thinks isn't true.


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[Assistant] No, it was his opinions, but I was saying that putting the debate out in front I thought was a good for people to watch and learn what we had to say in response to it.


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[Assistant] But he, so, the part about Abe, first of all, I wanna say Abe is a great guy. People were sending him death threats and like harassing him.


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[Assistant] The problem is he's my, he's my employee and like I care about him as a, at his well-being. So I have to like, he's, he's a good guy, you know, and it was like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think in the moment he got caught up in trying to make these like...


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[Assistant] Impassioned arguments, and then afterward he's like, oh fuck, I took it too far.


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[Assistant] What can I say, like, in a good way? I think the debate and everything and all that happened, I do feel like he's seeing things differently.


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[Assistant] I think he would if he had a, he thought, he thought.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm sorry, it's my fault. I take responsibility for the whole thing. So, that happened. Which, which, the part that really annoyed me though, is like, first of all, we did this, what I thought the interview with Seth was like, I was blown away by Seth's interview. He was so articulate.


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[Assistant] He was so impassioned, he told his story so well and the details of it blew me away every time. Right?


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[Assistant] And then when it comes out, first of all everybody's talking about AB, and then the second time everybody's talking about that I was too much of, too hard on AB. People were so upset about that whole dynamic that like nobody cared about what Seth said. And David got off again.


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[Assistant] I do want to remind people that AB didn't actually, what do you say, essay?


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[Assistant] Yeah, all of my episodes with him got demonetized. Which sucks because less people see it, but anyway.


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[Assistant] Uhm, this guy was saying I was literally essayed. That sounds like...


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[Assistant] He was literally essayed by David and Jason twice.


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[Assistant] And somehow they're evading the responsibility yet again. Like nobody, like dude, 90% of the comments were about either me or AB, and I was like, damn, again, I fucked up because the focus should be on Seth.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He called him for- like he was trying to reach him before the interview because he didn't want to have to do it. And they ghosted him.


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[Assistant] Somebody comes out, and credibly, not credibly, it's fact, he's on camera, twice, being essayed by David. Nobody's picking it up. No, like,


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[Assistant] Vant- none of these fucking big magazines- Felt DeFranco, not even- Felt DeFranco, not- Keemstar, it's like-


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[Assistant] Are they, they're either, they're afraid of David's fans, because, or, or, I don't, I don't, I literally don't know what it is.


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[Assistant] But how, so it's like, you know, it's like when Pewdie, look first, Pewdiepie messes up, it's like a media frenzy. David is, he's literal, he like made this guy move to another city in shame.


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[Assistant] And nobody's righ- I can't, my mind, I just, I can't beli- When I was hearing that, I was like, wow, this is gonna be a huge story. He's on camera being essayed.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So yea, the craziest thing to me was that he refused to take the videos down when he asked him, and he offered to pay him money. And Seth said something really interesting, he's like, that's when I knew they weren't really my friends.


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[Assistant] And then the other thing was during the second beef jerky during this elaborate ruse to set him up to make out with Jason again, the contract offered him 2,500 bucks.


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[Assistant] Which he was planning on receiving that money. And when it was done, David refused to give him the money.


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[Assistant] There's enough out there. If no, if this isn't enough, then nothing is.


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[Assistant] Well, I'm just gonna look like I'm obsessed with David. I can't put everyone's story out. Cause it takes away the credibility from everything I'm saying.


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[Assistant] Because nobody's holding him accountable. Literally. And this time I thought for sure it would stick. But there's a few things that...


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[Assistant] Look at his wiki feed rating and tell me that we don't hold accountability here on this show. Food soldiers! Assemble! David Dobrik had a 4.8 or something like stellar like that. What's his rating now? Read it, read it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, so here's one I snuck into their hotel room. You told an anecdote about how he, you and Jason were having, uh, let's say relations.


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[Assistant] What advice do you have for people that want to make- And he- So tell- Why don't you tell me you were there? Tell me what happened.


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[Assistant] Oh yeaah, yeaah, wait, I have a picture of the thumbnail, here I wanna show it. Cause even the thumbnail was like, what the fuck.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So here's a thumbnail. Jesus, not a very flattering image of you.


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[Assistant] So it says, I snuck into their ho- uh, hotel room surprise.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I just, I grabbed it in case you removed it. Oh yea, and it has ads. No time to cook! KFC baby.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Here, I'm trying to find- Okay, so here. So, set this up for me, okay?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Here's the creepy thing. Why would Jason have sex with you for an hour knowing David was in the bathroom?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well because nobody knows. David's like the king and they don't know him any better. Nobody's talking about it. I mean, nobody gives a shit. This video's still monetized on his channel.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I just wanna cover this because I'm so invested now, but after this I'm gonna move on.


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[Assistant] So you guys had sex, you went into the bathroom, and then you're like, what? Did you say anything to them?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's his, that's his thing, that you can't, nobody, when you say I have a line that you can't cross, Heath drops you.


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[Assistant] That's great. And I love that, I love that his, his apology is to cut you out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right. It's good to, again, yeaah, it's good that we are putting that forward so people know it's not, I mean, this shit is real.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Here's another one where David tried to set Jason up for real to cheat on you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So anyway, it's called trying to catch his girlfriend cheating. Now again, this is not a funny thing to do to a couple.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So there's that. And then there's one other one, which was actually, in my opinion, the most interesting. Here's a clip.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Of you confronting David and Jason about the Seth prank and telling them you weren't comfortable with it.


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[Assistant] Another man is crazy, Trisha. Crazy. Crazy.


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[Assistant] This is so redeeming because I remember you saying, I remember that happening and not being comfortable with it. And here's the footage, and not only you saying you're not comfortable with it, but David was, I mean, lookit, people misuse gaslighting all the time. This is gaslighting.


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[Assistant] There's literally no oversight to what you're doing, bro.


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[Assistant] Watch the Seth interview and just listen to what the guy is saying because it is really...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The one other thing that Seth told me that kind of blew my mind is because


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Even I, when I saw the second prank, I was like, oh, he's definitely in on it. And he shows a clip of Seth.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Saying, how can I cons- he says, do I have your consent to try to make you make out with Jason again? Now Seth said, off camera, he said a bunch of times, don't do this, don't do this, I'm not comfortable, I don't consent. And then what J- what David ended up cutting in, was Seth saying, how can I consent to something I don't know what it is you're gonna do?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How you gonna do it? And he cut that in. And I was like, oh my god.


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[Assistant] You wanna, let's take a break. Like a food break.


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[Assistant] God, I'm so- I've been doing like these food delivery system stuff. I don't want to say the name because I'm not trying to give anyone a free plug here. It's Nutrisystem.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I was gonna be like, why don't- anyway. So, these guys, they send you the food and you eat it, cause I'm just so desperate to lose weight. I'm just so tired of being fat. I just hate being fat. It's just the worst thing. So, I said I'm doing Nutrisystem.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So they send me the food, and these people got me on.


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[Assistant] With peace and love, I hate to say it, but it's like the Anne Frank diet. Can I say that?


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[Assistant] She was in the attic for a long time. Maybe she ate well though. There.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, because they were somewhat, we're probably talking too much about Anne Frank, but, but she was living, a kind family was hiding her family in the attic, and so they may have been feeding them well, so maybe it's not a good analogy. Probably not that well though.


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[Assistant] That's Yiddish. Why are you letting her come to these crazy conclusions, Moses?


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[Assistant] Well there's plenty, there's plenty of reading material, trust me. It's very well documented.


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[Assistant] Anyway, so I'm on that diet. I'm on a thousand calories a day. I'm so sad and miserable. It's sad, it's miserable. It's not, it's not okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They should not put people through this. They go, you're gonna eat a thousand calories a day. I'm like, dude, what are you talking about? Like, this is, this is not healthy to do it, but I'm doing it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I swear to god, she's the one. Stan, please, for the record, it was Hila. Thank you. It was.


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[Assistant] No, I thought- I- It's not my burger chain.


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[Assistant] All the proceeds go to supporting. Ian, why don't you, what do they do, Ian? Ian?


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[Assistant] This is my gay pride of the year right here. So, you wanna name some of these sandwiches off the map?


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[Assistant] I'm just gonna give this a real review cause this is our MOOC thing.


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[Assistant] You said daddy's so good. No more milk daddy.


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[Assistant] You say daddy like, un- unintentionally you do the daddy.


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[Assistant] Human's hair. Oh, you don't like the gay, the gay chicken? What is this one called?


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[Assistant] Is that really? It's called I Like Chex? Yeah. So why don't they call it the straight burger?


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[Assistant] Or pansexual or bisexual. Oh, okay, so look at me, I'm so, see, it cancelled. We're done.


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[Assistant] Daddy, change my diaper. This is what a dirty diaper looks like.


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[Assistant] This burger's good, but it could just be because I've literally been living in...


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[Assistant] I'm like North Korean diet. Is that more acceptable? North Korea diet? I eat my neighbors' dogs.


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[Assistant] Well, I don't even know what it is, it's like weird ass.


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[Assistant] I thought it was fun, funny, interesting, charity.


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[Assistant] We didn't do anything. We did nothing. We're being parents. It's like...


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[Assistant] Look, Hila doesn't care about food, trust me. If I was dating someone, go ahead.


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[Assistant] We should just say fuck it and become like the 600 pound sisters.


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[Assistant] Oh, he wanted to, he wanted to. Zach, everyone's 5'8". 5'8". Tiny. Manlit.


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[Assistant] What did Dr. Phil invite you on the show for? I was actually curious about that.


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[Assistant] Can somebody please acknowledge how much Dr. Phil looks like Mr. Potato Head?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Dude, his face is so weird. It looks like, it looks like somebody put his, like, eyebrows, his nose, and then like, no, the nose goes here. You guys don't know what I'm talking about? Here, mister. Thank you. Moses knows what I'm talking about. Here.


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[Assistant] Mr. Potato Head is exactly Dr. Phil.


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[Assistant] A cadaver. He looks like open casket funeral. Didn't I say that about you once?


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[Assistant] Like a weekend at Bernie's. You know, they say that symmetry is like the key to beauty. And if you look long at Mr. Potato Head, you'll notice that he has perfect symmetry. And what I'm trying to say is, I think I wanna fuck Mr. Potato Head.


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[Assistant] I don't understand, these people look normal. You have to send that to Dan. I wanna ask you about something.


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[Assistant] Yeah, he pays her. Okay, I wanna ask you about a video I saw on your channel.


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[Assistant] Okay, Trisha, and this is something I've harped on you for, you know what I'm-


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[Assistant] This is something I've told you time and time again, Trisha. Hire a fucking editor.


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[Assistant] You uploaded a mooc called, a video called moocbang in my new house with Moses. The first, like, two minutes.


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[Assistant] I feel like we're friends now, I don't even like make fun of you anymore like that.


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[Assistant] We were talking about the drama and I was just, you know, wanted to talk to her because it was all so intense. That's it.


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[Assistant] Okay, who could've ever seen that one coming? Marilyn Manson, uh, totally normal looking dude. Ended up being a total pervy.


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[Assistant] You know, he always had this persona of like, deep down underneath the makeup. I'm just a normal, totally cool dude.


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[Assistant] That, those athletes are all like jacked up on testosterone and like steroids and shit.


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[Assistant] Is there- So lemme see if there's any- Okay hold on lemme see if there's anything else.


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[Assistant] No, but these aren't fan- yeah, I get that, that's the least favorite thing people say to me on the street is like, uhm.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I- or first of all, this is the weirdest thing, is sometimes you'll get like, mobbed, and then someone, they're like, I don't know who you are, but can you take a photo with me? I was like, why do you want a fucking photo? You lit- I'm just usually like, hey, hey, okay, when that happens, cause I just wanna get on with it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, no, oh, I don't go outside with the COVID. That would be, I'd be like, nah, dude.


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[Assistant] Oh well, I'm gonna have to report you to the, uh, CDC. Sorry about that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm not mad you didn't tell me, it sounds like you're responsible, I'm just worried that you went, I mean, I can't believe you went through all that and I didn't even know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, me too. I know a few people that have died now. It's like, everybody's gotta know a few people that died now. And the fact, like, okay, I was watching the Joe Rogan podcast, and I saw a clip of it, and Joe Rogan goes, someone goes, are you getting the vaccine? And Joe Rogan's like, no, I don't need it.