[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, uhm, sss, well I guess what you could call what I'm doing playing, I'm doing playing, oh boy. So, uh, I've been getting over an illness the past week, and it's been pretty wild. Damn it, I didn't turn on the recording light. Thank you. Is there another shipment? Oh. Why, what's wrong with them?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Dammit. I saw other people being a little low, but that may just be because they're not right up on the mic like I am.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright. Well, anyway, I've been, I've been very feverish the past few days. Most of my time spent playing Destiny 2 is when my eyeballs have been in pain. Uh, which is a unique sensation. Uh, so I got back from Australia. This is not a tale of woe, by the way. Let me put that out there. I'm a, I live a blessed life.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I got back from VidCon Australia, which was, was an experience, but I won't get into that. Uhm, was massively jet lagged because the flight back is pretty raunchy. I ended up staying up for like 48 hours.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then, because I'm a brilliant human, I was like, well, typically the way I adjust to a new time zone is I just stay up until it's night time where I land, and then I go to sleep and everything's fine. I usually wake up just fine.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I tried that, and then when I woke up I was deathly ill. Uhm, so, at that point, I couldn't sleep anymore because I felt so shitty.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I was sleep deprived on top of being sick, and then I felt so bad I couldn't sleep, and then I felt so bad from not sleeping that I couldn't sleep anymore. So it was like my body forgot how to sleep for a little bit, but then Destiny 2 was there, so I had to play that. Uhm, so yeaah. Got to play it. Had to. Had to. So I'm in the middle of, uh, of tossing and turning in a bed, sweating profusely.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When's the last time you guys woke up and your bed was wet because you'd been sweating so much? You guys remember that?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, in the middle of having weird fever dreams about, uhm, I don't know if you can dig. Maybe you can.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, you're, you're frolicking in this meadow, but there doesn't seem to be a whole lot going on. But do foxes really do though? They eat.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But, uh, so, so, from my experience in Destiny 2, I've just been playing with my girlfriend doing co-op in the story.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so far, it's, it's jaw-droppingly beautiful. I would say that's the one, for me, who hasn't gotten to any of the in-game content, done no PvP.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The, the, like the combat is, you know, it's still Destiny, but it's not super deep. It's run down this hallway. Oh my god, there's mens! Shoot the mens! Alright, now we can do guardian work. Flip this switch. Oh god, more mens! So it's just shooting a lot of mens, but that's okay. Uhm, the stages are absurd.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Where? RUN TO THAT SPARKLE! Oh, the sparkle. Yeah. Sorry, uh, Bruce found an invisible wall in his foxy grave. I've found a lot of invisible walls as a fox.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think you guys are kind of making the right choice. Uh, Stephanie, my girlfriend, wanted to play, so I got it with her on Xbox, cause she won't play on PC, cause she has yet to be shown the light. Uh, pun intended. But uhm...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah, having played that game on, on console, and it looks and runs very well. I'm playing on an Xbox, uh. Still 30 frames though, right? Yeaah, still 30 frames, still like sub 1080p.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it was unbelievably, so gorgeous. Dude, and that was just like the prologue levels.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The, the levels get increasingly more gorgeous as the game goes on. It, it really does look like 70s science fiction art come to life. Just the, just the like, here actually, let me, let me throw an overlay on this. Sorry to, sorry to rip you out of your- Oh no, Fox, come back! Um, but yeaah, it's, it's like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It really, uh, and Halo had dashes of this, what, with like the Dyson ring and stuff, but like this. Just like bright, contrasting, primary colors, weird, surreal landscapes, all this shit. It's just like, it's Destiny 2 coming to life. You saw glimmers of that in Destiny 1, and it's kind of hitting me now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But they, it's definitely in his footsteps. It's very like, war drums. Doom-da-ka-ka-gum-ka-gum-ka-gum. Yeah, sure, sure, sure. Mixed with like, kind of peeling guitar and cool synths. The soundtrack is, is bonkers. It's so good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, it, it, so for me as a kind of a game reductionist, it's weird to, where I'm at in the story, like I said, it's mostly run down hallways and just headshot aliens that just die one after another. There hasn't really been an intellectual challenge yet, but that's usually what the raids are.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright Jacob, I gotta ask you the title of- or one of the preliminary podcast titles, we'll get to a better one later.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, welcome to clickbait o'clock. Uhm, as an ex, ex, maybe current Halo boy, now as a thorough Destiny boy. Now as a thorough Destiny boy? Sorry. As an extant Destiny boy. Would you say that Destiny 2 is better than Halo?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh yea, I just, I just, like, unlocked the third destination, so I, I wrapped up the story stuff on Titan.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, it's, it succeeds in the very basic, the basic strides that were not in Destiny 1.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There is a strong and communicated villain right off the bat. He is- Is it Gaul or Thrall? Yea, Gaul. He's basically like, he looks almost exactly like Darth Vader. Uhm, without the helmet on and he's got a little triangle mouth. He's like, he's a very Warhammer villain. He's just like kind of shriveled and has armor everywhere and he's very evil. He wants to steal the traveler's light! And he does.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm. So wait, doesn't that mean you don't have powers? Yea, that's how they reboot you in Destiny 3.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Don't get your hopes up. Well, I'm just saying, knowing Destiny and knowing Bungie, answers are not what you should be waiting for. It is, it is, like, in the way that it's visually 70s sci-fi, it's very 50s sci-fi.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It kinda comes from a place where it feels like, it feels like it's hallowing sci-fi where they didn't really know how space worked. So they just sorta...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Man, whatever, it's space, anything goes. Like, Barbarella, sure, just get in a plastic bag and float through space. It's a lot of that. You know, I don't know that there's really hard rules about anything, it's much more fantasy in that regard. So don't get into it expecting a really buttoned up story. It's just there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Any kind of interesting dialogue, like will actually banter in a way that is intelligible to human ears, uh, as opposed to just


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just like, quoting lore that makes no sense and is completely out of context most of the time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I think they're a lot more successful in both setting up a cartoonish villain for you to point at and hate and at least be a signpost to drag you through the story. And then also have side characters that can exist after the story's over that have an amount of personality because there is at least some effort given into writing dialogue for them that a normal player can appreciate.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes, but his character's been, like they, they, they, they found the Wisecrack Dialogue. He's the centerpiece. Slammed it way up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And Nolan North is, as your ghost, is a lot quirkier and cuter and yeaah. He's much more try- they- They made that update. Yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it's just, it's so straight. Destiny 2 feels like it understood what it was supposed to be the whole time it was being made. Whereas Destiny 1, if you go back, like even thinking back on it after playing Destiny 2,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There are hints and ideas, but it's definitely not a complete package like Destiny 2 is, conceptually. And that's what's so amazing to see. I was, I was worried that


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When a developer gets to a certain size, sometimes it loses the ability to make a game with a cohesive vision anymore, because there's just so many people, and it's so hard to get them all on the same page. I kind of feel like Bioware might be there right now. Um, Andromeda was a game, and it hit all the bullet points of Mass Effect, but there wasn't a strong creative drive that unified the whole thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That was really cool. Yea, they'll dynamic match make you with people during story missions who are also doing that same part. Which is, is, there were shades of that in Destiny 1, mostly public event stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. But yeah, it is super neat to be in a story mission and then have, yeah, the scale blow up on you like that. The public events. But don't let your sanitary budget blow up on you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You should check out, uh, shaving and other products from Dollar Shave Club, who is sponsoring this podcast. So uhm,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Five razors can conquer any beard that you can throw at it, or other kinds of hair, we don't judge.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But, they are expanding their offerings, and they'd like you to know that, uh, in their, uh, what do they call it?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's a, there's a kit you can buy for five bucks using our promo code, the starter set. Not only does it include the executive razor, starter cartridge, but also,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Tube of Dr. Carver's Shave Butter, which I have here. And, uh, Wanderer Calming Amber Lavender Body Cleanser, which is sulfate free. So it says the front of the box. And! One Wipe Charlies!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What are those? For your butthole, Bruce. Oh. They're gentle and effective. The civilized way to wipe. Are they really? Yeah. Wow. You want one? I was holding, they sent these to me and I was holding on to them for a little bit, so I haven't used them yet because I figured I might need to show them on a podcast. I'll, I'll use it live. I'll give them a shot.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So yeaah, I feel like Bruce, you're going to be the ultimate test because you have a very hairy anus.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If a one-wipe Charlie can truly take care of you in one wipe, then it will be a miracle indeed. An anal miracle.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, so, yes, you can get all of these products for just five dollars, uh, in the Dollar Shave Club Starter Kit, which you can get by going to DollarShaveClub.com slash Dude. Uh, once more, that's DollarShaveClub.com slash D-U-D-E. Everything spelled like it sounds, all online.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, so yeaah, five bucks for the, the kit. It's a lot of, a lot of cleaning items for your face and beyond. So thank you Dollar Shave Club for the offer, and you guys should check it out. I'm actually, I'm curious to try these. Yeah, me too. Once, man, once you, once you wet wipe, you don't go back. Cause, gentlemen, having...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah, having a clean butthole is a thing of beauty, especially if, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Usually gear score in MMOs, it's like you don't get to queue for this raid until you have this much gear. Sure. And it's a skill check.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sometimes. It's the carrot you're chasing, right? Kind of, but it's also like, we wanna make sure that you've played enough so that when you get in this raid with other people, you're not gonna fuck up their experience, I get that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So for me, Destiny was, I don't care about getting everything, I just want to play all the content I want. And to, I grinded to that extent, I just wanted to play all the raids.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then I got into the MMO cycle where it's like, I'll wait until the next expansion comes out and buy that, and then all the old content will rank down so I can just play it right away. So I grinded just to be able to play the content I fucking paid for. But aside from that, I didn't. I didn't helicopter up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, I'm curious about Destiny 2, because I know that there's a minimum light to play the raid, uh, but... What's the minimum light? It's like... I think like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Dude, indie gaming is so much that. It's like, there are dudes who play this stuff sober and they're like, mm, yea, it's very interesting, it's a commentary on wildlife and nature. It's like, no, you should be stoned as fuck, that's why these games exist.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Idiot. I just love how this is- I love that gaming is now at the point where there's like a black and white French film of somebody brewing coffee for 20 minutes and-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So real quick, we have to justify the other clickbait title. Uhm, Jacob. Me? Yes, uh, who, you're entering the PC world, but your home base is largely Xbox, is that fair?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Top, uh, concurrent player count, it'd be Dota 2. I thought it was- Hell.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well the factor here is that like, once a, once, depending on the monetization factors in a game, once a game gets popular, it also gets a little boost from farming bots? So there's a shitload of traffic getting into PUBG from China. Which, yes, China's a very big country.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Trying to get those, uh, those miniskirts. Uh, yeaah. Maybe. Maybe. This is pure speculation on my part, by the way.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But yea, it is, uh, it is definitely hitting worldwide phenomenon status.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, but Jacob, I'd like to hear your take on it. Do you think...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What if, what if, uh, dude, maybe it runs like shit on an Xbox One. So everybody's given the 1X shit for not having a, like, system pushing title. I feel like Microsoft could position PUBG to be that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I played that, a lot of multiplayer of that, and yea, it was, stalk around for 10 minutes, throw a flashbang, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well don't get caught outside the zone in PUBG. Get yourself a movement watch. You'll always know what time those zones contract. Something like that. This podcast is sponsored by Movement. They are...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, watch market disruptors. Yes, it was two gentlemen who were fed up with the high prices and markups of the watch industry. So they decided to do their own thing. Uh, sell their own watches, direct you, the consumer, bypass the middleman, bypass the store, pass the savings, on to you. Yes, movement is on your side, at least that's...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Exactly. Uh, it's classy and understated like me. Someone who burps all the time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The watches start at $95, which is actually pretty great for a classy and minimal watch face. And you can get, uh, you can get a discount on those. Let me look up that offer right now. I can't really type over my things.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There we go. Uhm, you can get 15% off, in fact, uh, by going to our, uh, website. That's uh, movement.com slash dude soup.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, one note on the spelling, that's mvmt.com slash dudesoup for 15% off. So go check it out, they have a variety of styles. They do range from the more ornate, if that's your style, to the very simple, which is my style. Simple guy. Simple Lawrence, they call me. Uhm, and...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just like a simple shopper, I appreciate simple offers. So, 15% off. Movement.com slash a dude soup. So thank you for the, uh, thank you for the sponsorship. Thank you for the watches. These are marvelous. And, uh, appreciate the support.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, uh, let's see here, we got a... Fox is lost. Fox is stuck in Canyon. I wanted to throw a quick, a quick, uh, acknowledgement, uh, and appreciation to Bruce for handling all that spicy racism last week. That was insane.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We're actually, uh, I'll give, I'll give commenters credit, specifically those on the Rooster Teeth website. There's actually a lot of very good, even-handed... Discourse? Yeah. And we'll get into some of those comments on the post show, which is coming up soon, so stick around for that if you're watching live, or check it out if you're a first member.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, let me see here, what do we have time for? Hmm, I guess we gotta go right on to Hardnut and- Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, so last week, Bruce, uh, Bruce pushed hard for the Alliance of Universes. You bet I did. And I'm glad that he did that. Uh, sorry, Jacob, we got a butt in here real quick. Oh, please do. Actually, here, let me just, let me just get out of there. Fox, nooo! Oh my god. Let me make sure it doesn't grab water.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, look at him. There's the first tree, it's back there. Oh. We solved it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, so the Alliance of Universes is, uh, just recap real quick. Yeah, it's perfect. It's perfect. It's amazing. It details the universe otters. Oh, what is this? Is it an otter? Nine basic rites, which must, which are granted to all Alliance citizens. I don't know, Bruce, you did all the research. I read through all of this. What the?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Volume. We need volume for this? Yea, this is a music video. Uh, Google Girl. This is the competitor? Yep. Google Girl.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's a music video. It's Russian-Latvian. I'll just let it go for a little bit here.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, you missed a section of the chorus there. He's basically talking about how he doesn't get outside and can't meet a real girl, so he's falling in love with a Google Translator girl voice. And she's rejecting him throughout the entire song, which is an extra tinge of sadness.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Drake's interested! Oh, it's a driver. Windows drivers.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How did you find this, Lawrence? Uhm, I am blessed. People have started DMing me links to, uh, scary, interesting content.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know where it could have come from if it's not, cause yeaah, I'm willing to, I'm willing to page 5 the lost pages of Google search results. It's not there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's fine. YouTube's just been kinda funky lately. Oh yea, his mom's back there dancing. Yea. So, uh, there you go. Let him go. No, he's, I think his mom's cause she's like, givin' him snacks. I'm gonna start doin' this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, cause there's no, I couldn't find any, like there's no description. Well he's wearing socks with sandals. Nice. He's a cool dude. Oh boy. He's got his polo tucked into his, uh, track pants. Yeah. He's gonna be executed.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, that's, that's the thing. I had to, I had to pick a heavy hitter to come out, come out Alliance of Universes to make it a little


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know. Uhm, damnit. Yeah, it's tough. This is the devil's game of hard netting. Sometimes you gotta...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I like how the first, you know, you're dating a Russian woman when there's Despacito covering two languages.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So nerd city is as big as earth? Yes. I guess. I guess it's not to scale. I shouldn't assume that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cute picture. Aw, look at them all. Having a great time. Alright, Alliance of Universes. You are, you, you are king for another week. Really?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright guys, we got some, uh, because Rooster Teeth is a large money making machine. We got some announcements for you. First up, merch, because you don't have enough ways to spend your money.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] First off, we got the Attack on Fun Titan. It's back! Attack on Funhouse, sure. Funten. People have been tweeting.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I know, it's finally back on the store. One time special, we convinced him to wrap it around. So, that is, uh, that's launching tomorrow, I think. In addition to the Overwatch poster, the thing that I erroneously showed, uh, like a month ago.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is last I checked, it's kind of a big hole.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was, uh, last time I was mistaken, so while I'm here, before I'm extra mistaken, let me double double check, cause I apologize, last time I, I was really slick and got ahead of the game, I was wrong. Is he on the Alliance of Universe? I might be, I'm on Alliance of Universe time, so yea.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Overwatch poster releases the 19th, which is tomorrow, unless it changes overnight. And the Attack on Titan shirt also releases the 19th, which is tomorrow. Nice. Double checked, uh, locked and loaded. And then...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] One other announcement, we have the Let's Play Family reunion coming up. Uh, so this is... This coming Sunday and Monday. Date is escaping me, but let me look that up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We're gonna be doing some streams there, gaming streams, with all of the various Let's Play family members combined. Uh, it is a first only event, so if you want to watch those streams live, make sure to sign up for first and in that service.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We got a little drive going here. So if, uh, basically if we get enough first memberships before, what is it, the 24th?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, the amounts are listed there, you can see. If we get these many first memberships, these things will be added into the event to some nondescript, vaguely defined way.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, just a quick note. If you do decide to sign up for First Membership, uh, either use the link in the description of this video or in the podcast or whatever. That way we get credit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But if you just happen upon the page and you feel like giving us credit to put Funhaus in the referral code area, then it'll get accredited to us. You don't get anything for that. Just, you don't get a discount.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're gonna like it. Alright, that'll do it for YouTube. Uh, post show's coming up right now if you're watching live, if you are watching on YouTube or on audio.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That is a first only show. We should- I keep saying it every- We're gonna make this one public. We gotta do that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, so, I swear, come Wednesday, if you're curious what the post show is, check out roostcheat.com, or fun.haus, fun.house, which is a pretty red, uhm, URL, not gonna lie, discovering the show's a little difficult, you gotta mouse over shows, go down to do some post show, click on that, maybe click on the,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The like most recent image which is in the little belt, it's on the left. You'll find it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, that's that. Hell on ceremonious. And we're done.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Nice work everybody. Thank you. Thank you. He's the man of the hour. Thank you. James Willems everybody. There he is. James Willems. James Willems everybody.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] As long as they do it under the eyes of God, it's okay. Which doesn't exist.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, I remember one of my most eye-opening, uhm, moments in life was when I was in Las Vegas and they're like, you here for concrete con?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I said no, I was just here for the weekend, and they're like, oh, big concrete con going on. And the guy, the taxi driver, I guess, was big into concrete. They should just call it con-con. That's what I said. Oh, okay. That's what I called con-con. Good for you. Or creek-con.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Regardless, I was like, he's like, oh yeah, all sorts of different kinds of concrete.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, he started naming them off. And I was just like, I believe it was strange. But I was thinking like with this game, people are probably like, oh yeah, that other game, that was more like Mississippi mud. This is more like Tennessee mud.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, we technically started with con-cree. Con-con.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think, I think uhm, trying to- I'm gonna drive that trailer through the mud. Sorry.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, trying to create some sort of hierarchy with subscribers I feel like is a joke.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Considering how much of those could be fake or are fake. It's a thing we've talked about here where...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Putting value on your subscribers is a, uh, is, I think it's sort of a death spiral. Uh, you shouldn't focus on that. You should be focusing on engaging content and watch time and those sorts of things. Those things that sort of end up. That's so many numbers to count.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, what he's saying though is just...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's that comical thing of the guy at the office with the giant stacks of paper that keep getting bigger and bigger and bigger. And then people are emailing him going, why haven't you done this yet? Where are you? And he's like, I'm, I am so I'm trying so hard right now. And then at that point you start to get human error, which in Google's eyes is probably far worse than the robot because now you start to get


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, apathy, and getting people to just go, it's fine, and they're skimming it. There's no, like, James did, kinda did this with, uhm, Q, uh, the QC testing he did for Netflix.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How? I don't know. And we, the rule is you have to delete it right away. Uh, it was always middle fingers, gang signs, nudity, like any, any obscene thing. You'd have to just- Dr. Buzzkill over here. I know. You basically, you would get fired. You'd get fired if you sold it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, though it was like, there was some weird, some, I don't know, but people would always come up and always be some white trash dude or something, being like, yo bro, where's my photo? It's like, ah, the machine deleted it, and the guy's like, well fuck, I want my money back, and it's like, you didn't pay, you didn't pay it on the ride, you paid to get, fuck off, like, go get a moon waffle or whatever they sell, what's the deal?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, there were times when, like, I just wasn't looking. I just didn't care. Because I was making $7 an hour, which was actually pretty good for back then. Uhm, and I was just, people would be like, ha ha ha, I'm like, ha.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] YouTube's weird. So like, that job was easy though because it's a single frame.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And you have about two minutes to look at it and go, done, done, yes, no. Uhm, but sitting through a YouTube video, have you ever sat through a YouTube video you didn't want to watch?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, but like, just doing any kind of general QC or watching any sort of video for like work related purposes, it just gets tiring. Your eyes get a little heavy, you start to look at other things, you look at your phone, you're just like, you just want to make sure everything's okay. Yeah, and repetition.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then it also is sort of proposing this sort of system is also kind of coming up with


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I guess perceived innocence? So what if the human season goes, you said something


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well you know, with that sponsorship, a human made that happen.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There were no robots involved, think about it. It's true, no robots. They had one human talking to another human, and they said, hey, you want some of this? And they said, yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I, I had one quick suggestion. Mhm. Where this might go. I, a, a more- Oh, you beat it. You did it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When you create content on YouTube, you essentially become an employee of YouTube. Sort of. That's sort of. You're like a contractor.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're, you're being allowed to use someone else's. You're not even a contractor, really. You're, it's, you kinda work for like Amway or, uh, Primerica or one of those things. Like you're just sort of a licensee for this thing. But I would like YouTube to allow some sort of service where you can employ your own YouTube professional.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So you, it could either be yourself or it's almost like having a lawyer on retainer, but you basically have someone who is vetted who is, uh, yearly gets a, um, certification like you do with YouTube certification, but it's more about standards and practices. And so when you get dinged, you have someone who has an elevated level who can immediately call it out and change it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Basically if they ever make a bad call, they're fired and you can never use them again.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like their license is revoked, so to speak. So now YouTube can put their hands up and go, well, he has a guy. He has a professional. Now we trust him. And if it ever goes beyond that, then it gets escalated.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I guess that could be, I mean this could be like a whole new type of business that opens up of people who sort of contract for YouTube channels.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It'd be interesting if you, maybe it's someone you just pay to ask them to go, Hey, this video got hit with demonetization or whatever. And before it goes too far, you can immediately hire this person. They can look at it and say yes or no. And that way.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You are, you're paying for this service, but it also makes sure, is making sure that your channel is still making money. This is only for like, the rich of the rich. These are like people who complain they don't have enough leg room in first class. Like how can we make it better for them, you know? So, I don't know how much this really helps the small guy. I don't know how much this would really help us.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It'd be interesting because then yea, YouTube would be giving up some sort of ad ownership to a third party, but...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I like your thinking because it does take the bias out of the situation and I don't know. Like we deal with this every day. Like right before this podcast we had an email saying


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We're, you know, we're constantly emailing YouTube being like, this video got hit, this video got hit, and it takes weeks sometimes, but we're just fighting it, and I'm sure YouTube's getting tired of that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just recently it was a cigarette. There was a cigarette on the thumbnail and they said...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It is a, there is a drug on the thumbnail. Basically the robot said, I found drug. And we're like, what's the drug? And they're like, it's a cigarette. That is a legal drug.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I didn't want to watch anything that wasn't a cartoon. I'd watch Care Bears, but the minute, uhm...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I remember, I remember seeing this at a, I was at a comic con one year, and there was the Happy Tree Friends booth, and it's deceptive, right? Because the show looks like it's kid-friendly, but it's the most violent thing in the world. And I remember children just sitting there, there's a mom talking to someone, and kids are sitting on the floor watching it, and it's like, oh my god, yeaah. That's kind of what this is, or this reminds me of it is,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Some kid would watch this right now and go, ha ha ha, I think, I don't know, it's a cartoon so I'll just look at it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Somewhere out there, there's a naked man floating in the water, a beaver building a dam around him.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, I don't know. I think, honestly, people, at the end of the day, want that. Whether they admit it or not. I think, yeaah. I think we've, we've given up any sort of...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's so weird. I never search any political news. That is not anything I search. I'm always searching...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Really dumb shit. Dumb stats. I'm looking for tips in destiny. Ascii art. Like, a lot of ascii art. Movie show times. That's it. But randomly, they're like shooting in, uh, you know, in the middle of a church. I was like, why did that come up? And I didn't want to read it. I just swiped it away.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But it still gives me this stuff, but that, that's the age we live in where...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I can have like, chosen ignorance. Where I'm like, what a horrific story. There's nothing I could have done, or I'm not a participant in this. I can read about it and get sad, or keep watching shitty YouTube videos, or play Marvel Puzzle Quest. So that's like, that's, that's the, I don't know, I would think I represent at least some small portion of this land.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I am a big fan of your thoughts. He's like, thank you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wow. How do you wash that? Like in the river?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Look at that mud. Squish. Yeaah. Youtube is just a mirror. Being held up to humanity. This is what we want.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But it creeps me out. Really? This creeps me out. I don't know why.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's really coming out of his shell in this one. The best part of Dan has sort of relaxed the DM responsibilities and we've gone to the part where we're like, peak, roll, and he'll do a thing and we'll go, yeah, that's what happened, and Dan's like, sure. We killed God, essentially.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is already getting up. Yeah, I really have to pee too. Alright. I'm gonna pee, why not?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, he's age gated, so he's Sonic. Jameson, watch it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We start over. Just make Saints Row, but you don't call it Saints Row. We got enough.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Knuckles is a bad boy. Well Shadow is a bad boy too, but he'd like leave you high and dry whereas Knuckles would be there for you if you needed him. He's loyal. He's loyal. Soaps?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The original Adpocalypse was what? Like, three or four months ago?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do you know, was it recommended or was it just a good video that got our internal community activated about it?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hey, be careful. This isn't- this isn't something any of us own. It's something that a different entity owns, so when things go wrong or whatever, it's not-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's no obligation to set up a system that works for you. So you can get upset, but the smartest thing to do would be to find some other way to do it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Unboxings and makeup tutorials and things that are like, totally safe in terms of this. So like, I mean, it's, it's, it's,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The interesting thing for me is that thinking about it is how, like starting what, like a year ago or whatever, there was like the whole push for like gaming.youtube.com, I'm surprised they haven't shifted that off into kind of its own platform where different rules apply.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Of what's gonna happen during the robot revolution, right? Because the dream is, we just have robots do all the shitty stuff for us, right? And computers and AI, that'll handle it and we don't have to worry about it. YouTube is kind of that on a smaller scale. It is, absolutely. They set up a system where the robots can handle it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, but now the robots are like, not that good, or they're making decisions that aren't, that don't work for everyone. They're probably the most efficient decisions, but they're not the great, the best one, and it's going to deplete


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, it's basically like a robot. It's basically like a robot, you know, saying like, we have determined that these types of people are not as efficient or whatever. We are going to eliminate them, or whatever it is. And you're like, wait, hold on, no, no, no, no, no, no.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm excited for the post fallout of all this, which are a bunch of people who aren't family friendly


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Here's the sad truth. When you give human beings, all human beings, access to something, right? It's gonna be a reflection


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Of humanity. That's the sad truth. YouTube looked in the mirror and they didn't like what they saw. I mean, it's basically humanity looking back. If this is what you don't like, this is kind of what we are at this point in society and have been for thousands of years?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it cost less to own the game than it did to buy the costume pack for season two, which had like four characters worth of costume. Really? Yea, the costumes are away. And I was like, this is stupid, man. I would play this game so much more if I could get those costumes and unlock them in a reasonable way, which isn't playing for a hundred hours. And then I was like, wait, mods.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This game has mods! So I started looking up mods, and man, you can do any costume in the world with any- it's funny, there's like-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm one of the- Tracer go for it. I'm one of the- yeah, yeah, there's like, you can play as Tracer. Tracer's in it, Widowmaker's in it, D.Va's in it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I need a skill set to animation and the, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] of this person's medium close up and then this person's and then they'll be like one shot of an alley with a couple raindrops as it's panning and some character does a monologue. So you're like, oh, that's the shot. And then now I can just read. So I mean, but I, some animes doesn't work that way. And you do feel like you're missing action when stuff's happening. But I've like having watched a lot of like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You typed it to me, and I still couldn't pronounce it. Because I copied it. Chip-chim-chim-chichurri. Chip-chip-chip-chipperoo. That's what it's called.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I got really pissed off. I watched one, at least when I was in Canada, I got really pissed off. And so there's one episode, whatever we watched while we were there, it said, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I, I was hoping to see it, at least got deathly ill this weekend. So we stayed in and watched, as you guys know because I ranted about it all morning, a bunch of garbage. Everything was bad. Most of the stuff I watched.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, this whole thing works for any business, though. Like, people, the problem with YouTube is it pitches it as such a casual, just upload a video. Play things you do, things you like, and upload a video. It's your hobby, who cares? But the problem is, as soon as it becomes your primary source of revenue, you should treat it like a business.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And think about how businesses work and how to diversify upon that revenue and make sure that you're protected because...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, unless you are a big oil company, there's no real way to like, completely control the industry in which you work, you know?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Anyway. The thing is people still watch cable. Yeah. Because it's just tied up into whatever your payment is, so it's perceived to be free, but you're watching.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Man, watching so many ads. So many ads. So many ads. Long ads. Ads all the time. Not related to your interest ads all the time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Netflix is what, 8 bucks a month? For, it's 8 bucks for I think the basic streaming only and like one device downloads or something. Yeaah. That's what I have.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, the thing too is, I mean, that's the thing, now we live in an age of devices, where you're like, well, I don't use it on my phone, but I want it on my phone. So you do it, and then you fill up on all your possible devices that you can have Netflix on.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And there's the one time you need it, and you're like, ah shit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] See, so here's the conundrum for me. Lizard Force is pretty great, but I'm new to it, so I didn't have the week for it to kind of like settle in, so it's more exciting for me. That's okay. Seeing it just now. That's alright.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So for that reason, I think I'm gonna go Lizard Force. Ooh, we went Lizard Force, okay. But I do think this is a great, this is a great showdown. It is. These are two great things, and I do not want to diminish the efforts here made by these people putting their heads in freezers.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But it worked. It's like, so, but I think out of saying the value of a meme is like laying a bike against a tree and then you come back ten years later and the tree has grown around the bike. Right. As opposed to saying, putting a bike against the tree and hoping that somebody changes the tree will grow around the bike, right? It's an accident.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Does it have like VR support or? It's got the eye, like the eye tracking thing to put on. You can aim with your eyeballs.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay. Oh yea, there it is. That's a great out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's different ways of spirit of that can live on that we'll get to later. Oh, absolutely. Yes, yes, yes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Or like, we don't, you know, communicate with chat while we're recording videos, but that doesn't mean that maybe during Funhaus TV.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Any one of us won't be in that chat, like, talking with you guys and hanging out at any given time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I know, but I'm in on the cool ideas too. Before I ever worked with you guys...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, and before Funhouse was ever a thing, I mean, I remember being privy and present to those conversations where everyone would talk about, oh, could you imagine if someday...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, we're all working on this. I hear you guys have those conversations. This idea or this idea or...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, things ranging from just shows to movies, and I think uhm...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The, that has always kind of been present in the back of everyone's mind of


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, we'll have the time some day, we'll have the time some day, and I think eventually you just have to make that time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, taking this, it's, it's not even, I don't even think it's gonna be that noticeable. It's gonna be like a sliver of change in the channel. And...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hopefully the bigger projects we're embarking on make it so that you guys don't even notice the change eventually. And I think maybe you'll even see just a change in all of us in terms of how you see us on camera. You may see us all kind of happier and peppier and I don't know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just, you'll just maybe see it on camera too and the quality of what you're seeing. And that's my hope and I think also just uhm, I think part of this conversation came out of, well, what does everybody want to be doing?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're just gonna go to the beach. Rough bodies. Rough bodies. Bitch, I was gonna say bitch bodies. Oh that's good too!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, it was really only like, what, a year ago, Bruce? That really the content started doubling in terms of... Uh, it was about a year and a half ago. Yeah. So middle of May of, uh, 2016. So, and we're not even going...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Back to the amount of stuff we were producing before that, right? It's still more than- No, it'll still be more, yea. Than what Funhaus was originally doing, so it's not, uhm-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, I don't think it's that scary personally. I think it's really exciting, and I'm really excited.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sometimes like a funny bit has to get cut just because there's no, none of time in post to like really give the attention and like nurture to that, to that, that it deserves and it sucks. Uhm, yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What did you say? Oh. The weird train's rolling into Insanity Station and the brake's done broke, so. I think she's saying the show's


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How do you start calling it Funhouse Live? Funhouse Live?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's a lot of blurring to do. Nah, nah, nah, that's okay. My- I think my- one of my- Jesus Christ. Whoa!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] One of the Doctor Who's that was upset about it. What was it, Outrage Culture? One of the previous Doctor Who's was like, uh, he said they pulled away, they were taking away male role models. And I was like, really? Yeah, I read that, it was a headline.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, I believe they cut it out because of SJWs, so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Electronic driving under the- Electronic driving under-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That said, I'm a hypocrite, uh, because I'm always looking in on my phone.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm not, like, there are certain things, so there are certain tasks on your phone that you're like, I'll look at Twitter or I'll text somebody or I'll make a call. Some of those tasks I push out of my mind while I'm in a car because I realize they take a little more brain power and then I'm not able to actually, like, focus on the road.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm not a hero. That's not what I'm saying. I'm just saying that you prioritize the things that you need to do with your phone while you're on the road.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's still a huge problem. I don't, I don't know if there's ever any way that we're gonna get people to stop. I don't know if that's even a thing that's possible.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So it's more about the ratio, because I feel like, yeah, like James said, there are collisions that just normal collisions that don't involve, you know, text messaging or whatever else. So what's the percentage? Like how much has that percentage gone up in terms of,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well it's like the guy we knew, remember we used to drive from Huntington Beach to West Hollywood and he had his phone with Netflix running.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Also, I feel like the easiest solution right now, especially when they're doing it, I think it's like Android Auto, is a lot of the times I've noticed with my phone, if I'm trying to use my phone, or I'm trying to play music or whatever and it's connected through Bluetooth,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] IOS has been doing this for a while, but they were able to sync IOS or Android to any car, any new car. I think that would eliminate a lot of problems in terms of looking down at your phone.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like it should be that way and it's taken years and years and years and it shouldn't have taken so long.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You don't go anywhere because then you never run into anybody. You never risk a life. You just sit in your bed like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There he is! There he is! There he is! There he is! There he is! There he is!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] To those, yea, to those guys, to the, to the customer's credit, they should, I mean, like, obviously they should have had Wi-Fi working for Pokemon Go Fest. Like, that's, that's the number one, uh, but at the same time, the game has never worked. Like, come on.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And Funhouse. How about, how about the Funhouse and...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The Matrix is the coolest part of it, because if we are in a simulation, that means I can probably bend the spoon. That means I can probably do some really cool shit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, you get to watch them carve it. I'm always afraid for their fingers every time I see them do it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Pewdiepie's really funny. He's super funny. He's a really funny guy. The more I see him, the more I'm always like, man, he's a funny guy. I like his videos. I always like his videos.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know what he'd have to do. He'd have to do something like, uh, what's his name, Austin Jones. Like something terrible.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Man, that guy's so good. I love Ivan Dorn. It's gonna be hard to beat.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Ivan Dorns? Okay, we got one market for Ivan. Hey, K-Joe, is that how you say it? K-Joe, yea. K-Joe? Absolutely. Alright, dead heat. And I'm not voting for the television show, I'm voting for the live action women that are trying to start this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's a lot of work that they're getting out there and they're putting that platform out, putting all the padding all over the sides. Come on. You gotta give these women credit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's ridiculous. Yeah. Ivan Dorn's just sitting in front of a fucking camera screaming. Yeah, but he cares. So do this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The law was amended to clarify the situation and confirm that the age of consent was 16 for all acts. For all acts in Portugal? Yes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A little younger, or, uh, older in, uh, in Europe. Okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I, I did, uh, alpha, alpha stuff to it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wait, who's following him then? Knuckles. Another Knuckles, what's the problem? No, no, no, but like in real, in reels.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wouldn't all the 80s stuff have happened earlier? Like aren't, cause like, I'm technically an 80s kid, but I was too young in the 80s to really remember the 80s.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I figured like, they're, you know, they're past it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But how do you, so how do you take into account that you're, like, you're trying to do objectively good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's all based on the time period too, like that was good for the time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, well, okay, so you're trying to go back and look at your nostalgia, right? And decide if it was objectively bad or good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, you know, you mishear a lyric or something and that becomes...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] To me, the classic example of this whole paradox is Event Horizon.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's like Hellraiser. But I would never call that movie awful, for real. Like, to me, watching it that time when I was younger is an amazing experience that no one will ever have again, you know?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Which means they're trying to market it to the widest audience possible. Where a good horror movie can't be rated R anymore because no one will see it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What time of day did you start there? Three. Yeah, cause it's always crowded there. That's so stupid. There's like seven different bars inside there. I had to wait in line to get in.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What do you call that? Yeah, like a straight up 80s feathered, dangling Indian thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Anyway. Can you, before you go to it, can you explain what blaxploitation is meant to mean to me? Sure.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If I go back to, there was like a little flame coming out of the gun. Yeaah. Well that's a muzzle flash.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright. There is a lot of time put into this. I like this a lot. It just keeps going and going. Man. Oh, whoa.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright. This has got to be some kind of like viral. Yeaah. This is going to be an adult swim at some point or something. Hopefully. Mankind and sausages. Sweet. How many pictures? Only 80 posts. Okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That can't, that doesn't matter. It doesn't matter how popular they are. No? Look at the effort put into this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I know everyone says that you love your own child in a different way, like, once you see that child, it's on.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Don't gravitate toward children. The idea doesn't really strike me as something that I crave. I don't crave it, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Boogie's having his gastric bypass surgery in like a day. And I've never really watched his stuff, but I am curious to see, you know, his, uh...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We were at lunch and there were a bunch of birds that were like vultures over our food trying to get at it. And so Joel screamed at them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And now, how expensive does a bottle of wine have to be to earn a spot in the fridge? Wine fridge.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, I didn't get stuff just for getting stuff, and I certainly had to do a lot at home and did not get paid to do it. Uhm, it was just expected, like, this is what you do, you don't get a reward for it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Are you thinking about that? That's not true. That is absolutely not true. Who did you- Alright, well I don't know any of you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I knew this was a thing and I think I was looking at something about it recently and I was like, this seems really...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, I was just thinking this to myself when I saw a product similar to this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, that's, that's my, I think Lawrence has, has it. He nailed it? I think he's got it. Yeah, that, you know, the, the, uh, acidity of the vagina, the average vaginal acidity is about pH four, I think.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, so the acidity would break down the cap lining of the capsule and then the sparkles would mix with, uh, whatever, you know,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I think like, just with, with like, so much of what's ex- what, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There are these societal expectations about women and their bodies. To think that, now, to give women this new pressure of like, now you gotta put sparkles in your vagina. It doesn't feel like anything new. It doesn't feel like any different than women being told that they have to like, have their pubic hair made into a heart shape.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Bruce, I was once told that if a woman were to put garlic up her vagina, later she'd be able to taste it in her mouth.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't, I've never put garlic in my vagina. I have garlic at home, you want some? I would, I would, I can't imagine that would, wouldn't you burn yourself? I feel like you should try it, just to see if it works. Like I'm a field reporter for Dude Soup?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Glitter lube. And the top shopping result I got was from Walmart. Walmart unicorn spit donut flavored lubricant.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, at least we're gonna say something more about vaginas. No, I was gonna say that, you know, they sparkle in Twilight. Somebody made a Twilight themed glitter lube that says for the vampire in you. Oh, that's cool.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] To go back to this, Lawrence, I think, yeaah, those numbers seem small.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I will say, uh, I know that people always like to say, you know, they make those, those comparisons of, well, if you're worried about being eaten by a shark, the likelihood of that happening to you is, you know, 300 times, or 300 million times


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah, well you can do that or you can do Sunslinger.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That boy's game was like week to week, it was just drama. Anyway. Woah!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was like, I should take the elevator. Nah, I'll take this thing. I put mine in, immediately jammed, the whole thing stopped, and I was like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright then. And there's like two other people's baskets on there. So I was just waiting for the guy to come by and fix it so my cart would go back up so I can take my...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Some, some little kid comes up and he starts yanking on the thing while the escalator's broken and I was just like, hey!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, no, no. It was my basket, but I was like, hey, is that yours? And he goes, no. I'm like, then what are you doing?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Nothing, and then he's like, I'm gonna go now. I was like, this kid has never had a parent yell at him once. He's never been punished.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What else are you going to say? I could post to social security. Oh yea, I guess I could have called out his ethnicity. That probably would have been better. Yea. Yea. Maybe his religion.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's also why, uh, they set up the, was it the Fupa Fund or whatever? Ethan and


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, they have like a legal defense fund that they put together, uh, that like anyone can like donate to, so if any YouTuber or online personality ever gets into trouble or gets into like a shitty situation like this, they're, uhm,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In a way, it was like, oh wow, something like, they're being really serious about this, and then they called it Fupa, and it was like, and I'm like, okay. Like, we almost were adults here.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That was fantastic. I'm really glad they, they stuck it through and they. Yea. I can only imagine it. They suffered for us.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's enough noise out there on YouTube we don't need anymore. Where someone goes like, I reuploaded an entire trailer.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] of a movie, and at the very end I went, Whoa guys! What did you think? Like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What do you fucking care? Why don't you have an opinion? Where's your goddamn opinion? Give your fucking opinion! Stop asking me for mine!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So there's always the counter-argument that's like, but I'm just giving it free promotion, bro.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What about when Topher Grace re-edited episode 1 to take out Jar Jar? See that's the thing though, did he, did he monetize it?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's a single frame where it says written, directed by George Lucas, but then it goes, it says Topher Grace, but he just spelled it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, we gotta take down from, what is it, the warplanes guys or whatever and like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm all about grassroots marketing, especially if you're a no-name dev and this is the way you want to do it. I always thought that it makes more sense if this is your...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was so funny, it was always, it felt like it was a tailored headline.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, I gotcha. And then, just, just the people kinda doing the little hand on their hip.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And they're like, see, this is what happens when devs listen. It's like, well they're also like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I-I-I mean, not to diminish anything that CD Projekt Red has done, which are- the witchers, I would say-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They supported the hell out of Witcher 1, and that game, from what most people said, was a pretty big garbage heap.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's sort of like, it's suspect, it's like watching a YouTube review, like a game review, after a game's been out for a month, and you're kinda just seeing Reddit comments, but regurgitated in the form of a video, like, it felt like I read that somewhere.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, and if it helps them to in a sense where if they were to put this game out and just sell it, there's a chance that less people would play it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Market, this is gonna sound funny, market penetration is so important these days. And just get it out there. So like a good example is like Kung Fury.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That guy, his whole thing was, here's a free trailer. Everyone, woah, cool, I want more. Okay, well if you give us money, we can make a longer 30 minute version. Oh yea. Cool, alright, and if we hit the goal, we'll put it out for free. They got it on Netflix as well, which means, okay cool, they made a little bit of money. But now it's, when he makes Kung Fury 2, or whatever next movie, now there's even more people who are gonna,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, let's see here, what do we got time for? I was gonna say, is it worth even addressing the Half-Life thing?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, oh no, I think people wanted to know our, like, you know, cause I saw a thing of like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Funhouse was right, you know, and it was like, there was no parade here.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, it was impressive how much it mirrored the uhm, the real life consequences Gmod video.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, he was the zombie. His brother, John Freeman, uh, gotted to the, the zomdors. Oh, I love those videos.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You have the source engine, someone could just make it. If they wanted to, but yea, game development's fucking hard. Yes, it's like-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But that engine is not aged very well. Yeaah. It just looks very dated now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, Valve News Network or whatever did like a thing of like, here's some like Half-Life 3 beta levels. But it's like, that's about as far- What about Left 3 Dead? I know. Oh, that cancer kid got to see it. No, that was a different game. Oh, sorry.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Review, and you gotta yell at a kid by the escalator. Come full circle, haven't we?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I went over, uh, to a friend's house and they were, they paid a hundred bucks for the UFC app or whatever to watch the thing and the servers crash, right? So we kept trying to find, kept going to Starcraft Twitch channels that were playing, they were like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, but there's like, uhm, that one YouTube channel. What's it called, Lawrence? C-Cro-Bee Cat or whatever? Oh yea, Cro-Bee Cat.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, he doesn't, he just cuts clips together. If that guy was like, hey, come support me over here and be like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know who you are, you know, so it's like, depends how you want to build your following.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, you don't want to be known as the guy who just steals Indiana Jones clips and re-uploads it. Cause no one gives a shit about you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] As a creator, they want, they'll follow you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No matter what, you know, it's, uh, was it when Ice Cube left NWA, it was like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was fine, and he, he was successful on his own because people liked him for what he was doing. I just think that... Yeah, good, talented. Exactly, yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is uhm, this is like if Olaf vids ever decided to grow up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, so they go in the back to cut phones. He has, oh, this one's, this one's gonna steal the phone? This is where phones come from. Oh no, intruder.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's a store here. You don't know how the phones work.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There! Save the phone! Set the phonecube free! Run from the apple hatchet man!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Someone showed it, if you hover over their name or whatever, if you scroll up. You hover over that little name tag thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you're listening from Poland, show us on the doll where the game developer manager touched you. We want to help.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I like that now your passes, James is like, Friday he's like, I got you a birthday present cause my birthday was like Wednesday and nothing really, we didn't do anything and then you gave me a DVD. I don't know how I feel about you lying.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Anyway, and then he was like, he was like, uh, surprise, like, we're gonna go to Universal.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, I think westerns flourished during the depression because people wanted to harken back to simpler pioneer times of America. And now it's the same.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do the, do the games link in any way or do they have any, like the Tarantino universe where there are soft connections?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sometimes I wonder if sandbox games are the equivalent of a child with a really active imagination that's able to take a stick.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And like turn it into a sword and make it fun, whereas with sandbox it's, it's really reliant on sometimes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The player's imagination and ability to create fun scenarios for themselves. Like when you guys play games and you just go in and you dick around and make, create your own fun, create your own scenarios. Chiewin Hunter does that a lot as well. That's kind of how sandbox is for me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, but I think if they made it, like, that's why Blood Dragon's so much fun is cause it's so over the top. Uhm, and I know they're two very different...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Stronger. Because they're not attached to your nerves. But, if you get Botox in your jaw, then all bets are off when it comes to chewing. Every man.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, sometimes women, like I have a, I have like a square jaw, and sometimes women get,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] From Giant Sparrow, published by Annapurna Interactive. What a great game.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know every other like narrative based adventure game that's essentially a walking simulator?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is not like that at all. This is a series of playable vignettes that weave together in a tragic story about the Finch family. And I think that either


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You can relate to this on a personal level or you can be fascinated as just a fly on the wall experiencing this family's story.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There are scary moments, there was one moment I had to get James to play because I got too scared. I did receive a t-shirt gift basket, yes?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's, it also, the, the game is, is essentially vignettes where you're playing how each family member died, uhm, in their own,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, unique tragedies. It's like this family is cursed. And so the house is this crazy house where, like, there are rooms piled up to the sky and it's really wonky. It feels like a Wes Anderson set.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But it makes total sense because each family member's room was boarded off after they passed away. So it's like, I thought it was fantastic.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. It's on PC. Oh, me too. I played it on PS4. But, uh, it's interesting too because Annapurna Interactive, who published the game,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They are the gaming division of Annapurna Pictures, which was founded by Megan Ellison.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Who was the, she was an heiress who decided that she wanted to, to make films instead of like squandering her family's money being a socialite. She was like, I really love films. I want to make films. And so her company, her company has produced like sausage party.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It, it, it's called Little Nightmares and it's like your child and there are these moments where you feel like when you were a kid and like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's really charming. I know what this is. Well, it's from the team Ron Gilbert and Gary Winnick. They made Maniac Mansion and a bunch of those classic adventure games. I have played those.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I was really enjoying the stories because it has kind of like an X-Files, Twin Peaks sort of vibe to it, which is pretty cool.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'd never finished it because I actually found what could be a possible game breaking bug in mine. Full disclosure, they did not send me any merchandise so I would not have disclosed the bug. No, it's very very charming like you said.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It still has the adventure game tropes of like, you're gonna have to piece together these random items that you would never ever consider pieced together.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think there's something in my- I can't get something to trigger in my game is the problem.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, I will say a friend of mine recommended to, he's already played it twice. He played it once and then he played it with his girlfriend.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And also if there's a Twitter account or any social media, I'd like to see it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, I admire this, but I would disagree. I think these guys are like, they're, they're real estate agents. They're engineers. They go home and they lead very different lives and nobody really, but their juggling friends knows that this is something they go and they do on every other Wednesday night. Which makes it more pure.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was thinking about how this is like hockey before they started wearing masks. Cause like, there's gonna be a big injury in this sport. Someone's gonna lose an eye, and then it's gonna be big controversy. Some of them are gonna start wearing masks, some of them are gonna resist.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When they get to the social interaction portion. Oh, what a fake!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I feel like Christopher Guest should make a movie about this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm still, I'm with Bruce on this one. I still think Big Knee Lover is deeper into this than we know. Uh, we haven't seen a post since November, but I think there's more to that story than we could possibly know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, I also, I mean, I would have liked to have seen more about combat juggling, uhm, more of their website, their social media profiles, so I didn't really have enough information to make an informed decision.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's like, there's a team group dynamic with still such an inherent sense of loneliness.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Welcome to a memorialistic bowl of dude soup. Since it's a holiday, we are back in, it's dude soup classic. That's what Lawrence is calling it. Brought it back, after new dude soup, because people didn't like the flavor so much, but boy did we sell a lot of bowls of dude soup.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, so yeaah, uh, we're, we're here because we're on vacat- er, we're on vacation today. So this has been pre-recorded, unless you think we're trying to pull the wool over your eyes. I'm joined by...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Myself? I'm Lawrence. I'm also joined by Adam. Hello, Adam. Hey, what's up? Uh, James? Hello, James. Hello. Bruce! Hello. And way in the back there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Way in the back. Here she is. That's Lee!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This podcast is brought to you by two sponsors, Mack Weldon and Movement. Uh, you can go to mackweldon.com to get 20% off your order using promo code SUPE. And you get 15% off your movement order by going to movement.com slash dudesoup. More about that later.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, our first discussion topic is about Overwatch. But yea, no seriously. I'll talk about Overwatch? Yea, what's going on with Overwatch? So, uh, alright, I was fucking with my mic there. What does Paul Tassi have to say about it now? I'm glad you brought that up. So, Paul Tassi, uh, I think you and I saw the same headline. We're big fans of Paul Tassi here. Uh, his sweet little smile. Um, no, I mean, so, I guess as a brief aside.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] As, as clickbaity as Forbes Gaming can get, uhm.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They- they're doing their job. Uh, maybe click on things. Yeah, there- oh! I think if you hit X or right trigger or something, you can grab on the ledge. There you go. Uh, so yeah, Paul Tassi wrote a, uh, an interesting article with some- some loose math, but it all checks out on Forbes. Uh, the headline is... As soon as I get out of the quote of the day, we don't need that. Fuck off with that, Forbes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Still waiting on this old guy to load. Okay. He writes, uh, the headline is there are not enough hours in the day to grind for Overwatch anniversary skins. Uhm, and he works this out by saying, so quote, combining a three week window in which to earn boxes with the fact that there are more legendary skins than ever and no epics, and we're reaching a point where it's close to physically impossible to find, excuse me, to find all these skins before the event ends.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So basically he's saying, if you're just playing Overwatch at a normal rate, uh, if you played, I think he worked out about seven hours a day, every day, throughout the entire three week event, that's almost a break even to have odds to get every legendary skin by naturally playing the game.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So let's quote, using all these metrics on average, it will take 27 loot boxes or 27 hours of play. He basically, uh, estimates that you get one loot box per hour of play, which sounds about right.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, 11 legendary skins would be 267 boxes or 267 hours, assuming no duplicates. There are only 168 hours in a week. Let's say that you're somehow able to play Overwatch for 8 hours a day because you're just that damn good at time management, and 3 weeks playing 7 hours straight.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Or seven days straight, that's 168 hours or boxes, plus or minus some bonus boxes for arcade activities.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So essentially you'd have to play the game full time over the duration of the event to get all of the digital goodies. Is that good or bad? Uhm, I don't know, Adam, you kinda, you summarized it really well by just saying, yea, you have to pay money.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So yea, it's the, there were, there were people, like, it's, it's weird because my initial reaction was, that kinda sucks.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But then my second reaction was, yea, exactly, James. They, there is no, there is no gameplay that is being changed by your inability to get skins. And on top of that, Overwatch adds maps for free. So it's not like, uh, it's not like shooters tend to do where they separate map content out. They, uh, I don't know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, new heroes, new maps, all the stuff you need to play the game is free.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No. Okay, good. That is not allowed, James. Alright. Well, thank you for bringing it up. Uh, actually Bruce, this is a pretty tough puzzle. Let me know if you want me. I want you to do it for me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, that's cool. Oh, okay. It looks beautiful, by the way. Yeah. It's really cool. It's, uh, this is a brief aside. It's, it's, it's very Limbo-esque, but it's also really good. I, I mean, I actually like it better than Limbo, so. I thought it was better than Limbo's. Well, boo-yah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That was fun too. Different developer though. Who? I don't know, but I guess going back to Overwatch, it's weird because...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The assumption is, the implicit statement is...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It should be possible for a human being to get all the content for free, because there is an avenue to do it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, it's interesting that you bring up, uh, oh, a key. It's interesting that you bring up, uh, attracting new audiences because, yeah, it's really fascinating. I feel like Overwatch...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's, it's weird because I feel like they do everything right, because they have a free weekend coming up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In addition to launching all this new content, so not only do they roll out a bunch of like crazy skins for the people who have been playing for a long time, but there's also a free weekend, so if everyone's talking about all these crazy skins and new maps,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's timing and stuff like that, so. I think you gotta lure him into the other room and sneak around and grab that key. Yea, that's what I assumed. Uh. He turned around at one point. So it's- He did. It's hard for me to, with the exception of James, the point you just brought up, but yea, maybe we can workshop a little bit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Can you think of a game, like a, a system for a multiplayer shooter that is better than Overwatch? Because to me it's, it is the perfect harmony of acknowledging that the game has to make money. I think it's unrealistic to pay $60 for a game and then play it for three years without spending any more money. Especially if it's a live service and they keep updating and patching and all that stuff. So yea, to me it's the perfect union of all things.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What's the, uh, all the gameplay critical stuff is free, so all maps, modes, and heroes, so they never divide the player base, and then it's purely aesthetic stuff that


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. Ah, I played as, played as Bugman, and... I played as Samurai, remember? Yeah, that was cool. You can split into a million pieces.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, at least that point you mentioned about them kind of targeting two groups, the...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Casuals and the hard cores. Even their, even their, uh, patch notes acknowledge that. So, the patch notes kind of like, you were sort of saying that if they were alter loot boxes it would come from an engineer and there'd just be percentages and stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, they do that, so they'll have patch notes saying we changed D.Va's health from like 500 to 450 or whatever. And then they have this paragraph for every gameplay change.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They don't leave it up to a bunch of shitty, you know, forum posts dragging their changes through the mud. They can say this is what we want the game to be.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I, man, I would love to see the sort of like hallway of ideas, just all the sketches of the like skin possibilities, just some of the wacky stuff, cause they come up with some pretty cool ideas.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well Halo 5 was even a bit beyond that because it was the rec packs that you had to buy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, so real quick before we move on, do any of you guys have, I mean James had a bit of a suggestion in regards to duplicates, but do you guys have any concrete suggestions about how Overwatch's unlock or loot system could be improved?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Really? So Paul used those in his calculations because yes, I think it's like a 1.5% chance to get a legendary.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, so they have a line of silver underwear, which is also antimicrobial. So you can use them for working out if you, uh, if you develop stank crotch. Uhm, typically I'll, I'll cycle workout shorts every, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like every six months or so, cause they just get, they get a funk that doesn't go away. But with antimicrobial shorts, I no longer have to worry about that. So it could be the last exercise shorts you ever buy. Depending on how you work out, I don't know, maybe you end up destroying those things.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But uhm, they also want you to be comfortable, so if you don't like your first pair, you can keep it, and they'll still refund you no questions asked. So really, you've got nothing to lose, you don't get a deal like that in Overwatch. Uh, go to MackWeldon.com, uh, and get 20% off your entire order using promo code SUPP.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, with a, with a refund guarantee like that, and 20% off. Uh, you got, you got no excuse to be comfortable in what you're wearing. So what's more, that's macweldon.com, and use our code, SUP, to get 20% off your order. Thank you, Mac Weldon, for your sponsorship, and for your fine, fine undies.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, alright, well, sorry, I didn't mean to cut in too hard on you guys bickering about how much she's wasting on Overwatch.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, I guess, uh, this is gonna be a bit of a lighter discussion type thing. I'm not gonna harp too hard on any of these topics, but, uh, there's some cool tech, uh, headlines lately. Uh, Beam recently rebranded as Mixer.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Trying to throw Twitch a little competition alongside YouTube Gaming. What is Beam?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, so they were a streaming service that was acquired by Microsoft in 2016.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Their standout features are, they say sub-second latency. So if you've, if you've ever watched a Twitch stream, you'll punch your thing in chat, hit enter. It takes like five seconds for the streamer, or even longer sometimes, to react to it. Because there's a latency between what they're doing and what you see.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, it's kind of the same with YouTube gaming. But Beam has sub-second latency, so they can respond to chat as it's happening. It's kinda, it's kinda cool.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, they also have, these are just the banner features of Mixer, uh, something called co-streaming. So, up to four people can stream to one source, and then Mixer will combine them into one stream, and a viewer can watch all four people in one stream. Uh, it's kinda like multi-twitch, except Mixer does that for you. Uh, and it, and it prevents the end user from, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Having to watch or download four streams at once, which can, can, uh, put a strain on someone's bandwidth.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They also have a whole, like, leveling and, uh, I don't know what to call it. Gamification? Yeah, that's, yeah. So you get sparks just by watching. They generate as you watch streams. And then you can spend them by hitting buttons that inter- interact with the stream. So it can play, like, a sound or cause something to happen. That's kind of a cool way to...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's usually like soundboard stuff, but there's all sorts of cool ideas that could flourish there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, but yeaah, so it's kind of interesting. I feel like streaming by itself is becoming its own, I mean, I guess it already was, an industry, but it's interesting to see how each of the different services are kind of trying to find their niche. I welcome competition in any way, shape, or form. So YouTube has Super Chat, which is uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, but, uh, yeaah, it's kinda cool to see stuff mix up. Uh, Twitch, recently they started their Mr. Rogers marathon. Which is, I guess, following in the footsteps of Bob Ross and...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And Julia Child, other kind of like PBS related content that's not really on TV anymore. But it's kind of cool to see a whole new generation get exposed to Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood and things like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And they have new cheer motes. They're called cheer motes? Yea, so to me this is sort of, this is all indicative of the space either getting weird or just the individual services developing their unique, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Let me just hold that up there. You can see him, see him buzzing around.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, whenever you cheer someone, there's like a baked in little animated gif of what a bit looks like, and the more bits you pledge, it would play a different little jewel that would spin around, and the more bits, it would be like this decahedron thing that would be multi-dimensional and whatever. Oof.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So now they have cheer emotes that are playing across some of the more popular emotes across Twitch. Uhm, like PJ Salt, what have you. Uhm, that doesn't mean anything to anyone who doesn't frequent Twitch, but...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes, so that's the interesting thing, I think. Now you used to have, like, culture around video websites, so YouTube was different than Dailymotion, or Blip, or, uh, fucking Vimeo, or Bing Video.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Kind of trying to foster their own community and play off the, the cultural things that happen in it.


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[Assistant] One of my favorite examples of that was when they were showing Julia Child and she just like straight up cut a live lobster in half. She's like, we're gonna fucking cook and that involves killing animals and that's what you eat. And chat lost their minds, man. I don't think they'd ever seen an animal die before.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it was, uh, are you sprinting into the jump? Yeah, should I not do that? No, you should. That's weird. That's what I thought. Maybe there's something else you gotta... I don't know. But yeah, it was, uh, it is kinda cute to see...


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[Assistant] Like, yea, like new audiences react to stuff in that way, but also through the lens of Twitch chat or whatever chat in general. That's why I always love GDQs because, uh, or Games Done Quick, the speedrunning marathons. Because the chat is its own entity. It is, yea, like you said, this gelatinous cube of screaming.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, like copypastas will rise and fall. Everyone will start spamming little crying emotes if there's ever a sad story. It's uh, it's something else, man. I feel like it's as much, for me at least, it's as much part of the show as the show itself.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Absolutely, it's, uh, I've said this before, but I always, I always, you know, grew up watching


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, serial entertainment where the, the like cool group of kids always had their hangout spot, whether it was a juice bar or a diner or whatever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, to me that's kind of what Twitch became. I mean, way before that, like, I'd have my stomping ground Quake 2 server that I'd log onto after school and just like chat up people and get to know them. Now I feel like Twitch chat is part of that. If you watch the same stream, you start to recognize people and then you're like, hey, how'd your day go? And then...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You sort of have that vibe where it's just a bunch of people kind of shooting the shit and lighting off steam after work. Uhm, all kind of...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Incidental too, some do just playing games and it's just kind of not- it's not- it's like it's nice white noise to have on in the background when you're just socializing a little bit while you're doing your own thing too.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So yea, to me that's what Twitch is. YouTube gaming seems to hit a much larger potential audience base to James' point. That's just YouTube, I think. They're just everywhere in the world and so much bigger.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, yeah, I assume Restream does if, and I haven't tried it myself, but if Mixer gives you an SMTP URL and a stream key, that's all you need. And I don't know how else they would accept a stream if they have their own proprietary thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Azubu, yeaah. Azubu's another one. They're still around, I'm sure. Are they? I think they're, yeaah, I think they get a little more traffic in Korea. Uhm, because they sign up a bunch of e-sports teams and stuff, but.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, there were exclus- exclusivity deals. Yeah. Oh my gosh. Ugh. God, they're like wearing geisha masks now. It's terrible. Ugh. Kabuki masks. They're all just piled up in rooms. It's disgusting.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, uhm, sorry, it was very distracting. Don't let, uh, yeaah, don't let the, uh, don't let the horrors of the world get you down. Because you can block them out with a sweet pair of movement sunglasses. Boom. That's right, movement is branching off into sunglasses. They, uh, they got tired of making awesome watches for the world. Those are sweet, let me see. Oh yeaah, here you go.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Let me say instead that they conquered the watch game and decided to move on. Yeah, they're actually pretty good. So they say, uh, this is, this is, uh, the story that they sent. They retired of having to pay for cheaply made throw away shades or overpriced designer sunglasses. So they said, screw it. We'll make our own.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Starting at just 70 dollars, uhm, which, you know, if you're used to buying like plastic sunglasses, that may sound a bit much, but if you're in the Ray-Ban, Ray-Ban game, that's pretty good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, uh, they, uh, they say they're high quality premium acetate frames. Uh, the lenses are really great too. It's, it's, it really is a world apart, cause yeah, I usually, if I ever wear sunglasses, it's just the crappy $15 ones and, and as I'm getting older, I'm discovering the value of,