[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You kind of lose allies, but you also garner a lot of attention for yourself. I think that's attention we never wanted.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I, I mean, people are different and their, their tolerances and what they get out of something is entirely different, but for me, there, there's a website and I, I, I haven't followed it in a really long time, but the reason I stopped reading it, uh, as a movie website is cause every single time


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was a nerdy website and every single time a new movie would be mentioned, it would just be some sort of thing about


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How awesome it's gonna be. Like it'd be like here's a preview photo for the Logan trailer or whatever and it'd just be his claws with his things and it would be 500 words about how great this movie's gonna be based off one image and I'm like


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I know, one of my favorite memories is, uh, the hiring of Elise. Yeah. Uh, cause, uh, I remember when we, that whole process was happening, it was done in an, not an interesting way, it was done in the right way, which is that


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, everyone was basically asked who they thought would be a good candidate.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because we could actually hire someone and you guys all mentioned Elise and then it was the kind of thing I was like


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You guys should just interview her, you know? Like, I will not be a part of it. Like, for positive or negative, whether or not I do or don't want to work with my wife shouldn't be a factor. Uh, just interview her and then Bruce did and you guys met with her and talked to her.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just because she wanted to, like, increase her skill set. Like, all the attributes that we look for in a good hire, she was already doing without the prospect of being hired here factoring into it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was really strange going from a place, not to talk shit, but a place that didn't really like seem to indicate that they saw any potential in us to another place that was like


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It wasn't a charitable thing, but it was still kind of a, you know, we think that you can do something, and then as soon as, thanks to everybody in the community, there was like a huge wave of things, and they were like, okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I think it made the content better for her. I think kinda to your point too, the interesting thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] About leaving is that I had worked other previous jobs where I disliked the company.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I thought the people there were great. And way better than it. Like, G4 is, I left G4.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it was the kind of thing where I was like, man, this is such a shame. All the people here have so many good ideas and are working so hard, but there's just...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] For whatever, numerous reasons, so many things standing between them and being able to do great things. And, but then I was like, and I'm one of those people and I just have to, I have to go. Like, I have to leave. And, uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And Bruce being a perfect example of one of those people. And then, which is why the first opportunity I had to work with him again, I jumped at it. But it's just the kind of thing where leaving Machinima and coming here was the first time I got to be like, oh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, we all get to go. We all get to go. Like, so, all the people that have such great potential that I know are so capable, we're all just gonna go. And it's gonna be great, and we can go somewhere else that, that wants us more. I dunno.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, I'm looking forward to Sexwing. Yeah, me too. Sexwing is a new, interesting challenge that we, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We get to try, that I'm excited about, uhm. Okay. And, uh, and it's been fun, cause a lot of what we were talking about is, you know,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's fun to visit people in Austin and it's fun to work with our friends. But something that we do miss out on being here is we don't get to collaborate nearly as much with other departments. And collaborating with the animation team.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The production workflow I'm not entirely familiar with, despite the amount of animation I've seen and how much I regard it as an awesome medium, like that pipeline is pretty new and exciting.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so being a part of that is really cool. In the future I would hope that we could do more stuff like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, and then beyond, a lot of it is, you know, to the scope of what Rooster Teeth needs, and what we're actually capable of, but, uh, writing a, writing a,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] She spent a long time working on it, but I think it was worth it, you know? Because we all wanted it to be right. I like the confusion it started. Yeah, yeah, that's fun. I think that's a testament for the whole channel, not just individually. The channel...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We're never really that content here. We're always trying to explore new ways to do something new or better.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was gonna say KC, he was like pretty, I don't know if success was a term, but he had a thing going and then he was like, hey, I like to film everything anyway, so then I decided to start vlogging it and like recording it. And uh, and he acts, he trend sets, so I give him credit for that. Like hoverboard.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I like how the first one had cavemen in it, but then they died off. I don't know. Is that how it works? I'm not sure, well the ice age is.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wow, I can't believe I beat Steep. All the way to the end. You're playing with someone else's toy. You're, you're allowed to freely play with someone else's toy. And yes, it is absolutely true that without the creators, YouTube is worthless. Uhm.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, this ball is sponsored by Crunchyroll. Uh, they are a streaming service that can give you all of the hot, hot anime you can handle.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, which is quite a bit. You can try out Crunchyroll Premium for 30 days or one month for free by going to crunchyroll.com slash dudesoup. You'll hear more about all of the wonderful changes your life could undergo if you only start living the anime lifestyle later.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Boy, they just showed us Star Destroyer upside down. But everything is upside down in space, there's no up, figure that out. Uh, yeaah man, it's uhm...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So it's weird, so not, when I, when I watched it, uhm, I was pretty dehydrated at that point, already had a pretty bad headache. We saw it in 3D, and my brain was throbbing by the end of it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This ain't no avatast, this is a star- What is the go-to name for Star Wars podcasts? The Starcast? This is Starcast, number one. There's a problem though, you have to take some sort of-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, so yeaah, I wasn't necessarily in the best frame of mind to judge it as soon as I stepped out of the theater. Aside from the third act, like all of you. Uhm, I guess we can also try to be mildly spoil- spoiler free. Oh, we're gonna try and be spoiler free. Mildly, I mean, I feel like you know how the movie ends, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I guess, uh, yeaah, we can, we can punch around, uh, quick summaries. Uhm, for me, what I wanted going into it was cool, cool spaceships flying around in explosions.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then maybe a little something to think about. Uh, as far as I'm concerned, like a Star Wars story or a side story or whatever. The fact that they're gonna happen every year, not everyone has to be perfect. Uh, and I wasn't expecting it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And yeaah, there's some, there's some issues, uh, namely, the first 30 minutes, boy are you fucking confused, because they're bouncing around a lot of different characters, and you gotta learn them all pretty quickly, and I still don't feel like I have a good handle on them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That, but, I, uh, it's definitely one of those movies where I like the intention more than the execution with a lot of the characters themselves. Uh, cause I get philosophically what was going on there. It was actually pretty cool. Uh, the intent was cool. I don't know if it was executed all that well.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I, uh, I want each of you to weigh in on this. It's one thing. From your particular viewpoint of being a Star Wars dork, what about Rogue One piqued your interest? Uh, I'll go first.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, well, yeah, okay. You go ahead, Lawrence. We'll see the floor. Play his game, and then we'll get back to you. We'll make a round, and then Bruce, you can have the floor. You can have the conch shell.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] For me, I was particularly intrigued by the representation of the Force in this film. Uh, there are a lot of moments where- Or lack thereof. Well, sort of. There were a lot of moments, a lot of moments of uh, of serendipity that you could argue was just luck.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A New Hope kind of, A New Hope kind of made it pretty clear that, at least its representation in A New Hope, that Master of the Forest is also sort of knowing, knowing the flow of luck and randomness in the galaxy. Uh, cause there were a lot of moments where Obi-Wan, he didn't shoot lightning out of his hands, but he just like, just like really subtle little twists that tend to end up in his favor. And the way I saw that in Rogue One is that there were a lot of characters who


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Had the fortune to not die until their critical point was passed. So like they got their job done and then immediately out. And there was some, there was some dialogue that kind of hinted towards that, uh, namely Jyn when they're in the spaceship and they're about to land on unnamed planet, uh, it had a name. I'm just saying for the...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A new hope, it's super, super subtle. Uh, but then in Empire and Jedi, like, in Empire, they're physically moving things in the world, as opposed to just making noises or changing people's minds. Uhm, and then in Jedi, and especially the prequels, it's, it's, they're space wizards, you know, they're jumping around and doing backflips and stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So that's kind of what I'm thinking about. That's kind of interesting.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What's the one Star Wars thing that kind of piqued your interest?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Also, just to set this up, Bruce, I think out of all of us, you have spent the most time in and around Star Wars. Absolutely. Read every EU book before it was all thrown in the dumpster, literally and physically. That's right. Metaphorically.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was looking forward to it more. Because I was expecting, I was expecting like the Force Awakens level of like, oh, 12 X-Wings show up. But no, it was the entire fleet. I was like, BULLSHIT!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, just the escalation from that point on is just so, so amazing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, it does require you to be pretty forgiving with the things he says in his tone in A New Hope.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, uhm, because of New Hope, pretty clearly written that...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, that ship did not just come out of a battle, but you can also see it from the lens that it did and it still kind of makes sense.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, it's alright, it's alright. Fuck man, I should have been working on a segway.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, there is one thing that I think everyone did exceptionally well, like so well that it's, it's, uh, it's hard to appreciate in a weird way.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's also really good, uhm, and I think out of all of the writing successes of linking it to A New Hope, that's probably the best one. It's telling the story about how that happened.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well you know what, you know what Rogue One was missing?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because I brought this up on another podcast. It's both kinds of anime sex trash, all in one, and they're both really good. You say that with a positive cadence. Yes. Eurion is beautiful.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's about men enjoying each other and expressing themselves through the art of dance and really, really deep hit lines. Yeah, there's a, maybe once an episode there's just


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, we just happened to be talking in a public bath. How weird. How weird. And now I gotta stand up for no- ooh weird. But then, then the smoldering emotions come out. Cause they hug for no reason.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And there's always that shot of the trainer who's got like really pouty shiny lips. He's always just like touching. It's so great. Is this an ad read? I was gonna say, when did it? Huh? No, it's my dream journal. But Keijo, Keijo involves a girl judo throwing somebody else with her nipples. So it's pretty much the best show ever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh yes, yeaah. It's awesome. Uh, and then what was the... Drifters. Drifters. Yeaah. Drifters. Awesome. It sounds like the perfect...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's plenty of great content on Crunchyroll. Uh, you can watch all episodes ad free in 1080p HD. Uh, simulcast in Japan, so you get your episodes as fast as they show up on Japanese TV, so you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Fuck off with all your excuses torrenting all that crap. Uhm, you can play it, or you can enjoy it across a multitude of devices. Xbox, Playstation, Wii U for some reason. Roku, Android, iOS, Roku, Apple TV, etc. Uh, so you can try Crunchyroll Premium for 30 days. It's one month, I don't know why they say it both ways.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] For free, by going to crunchyroll.com slash dudesoup. Should give it a shot. It's, uh, fuck man. It's, uh...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] For the equivalent price of Netflix, you can get all of the, uh, all of the delicious anime trash that they don't have.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Fuck man, I had the time of my life. So yeah, we were gone last week. That's why the podcast went back to classics.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It is just a delight getting to work with the Austin RT folk. And, uh, yeah, we filmed 11 Little Roosters. The pictures came out of that. Uhm, man, I have not stank that bad in a long time. By the time this came out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There are a lot of long days of a lot of dancing, a lot of thrusting. And, uh, I'm not going to say I got the worst of it because you had a leather jacket, but, uh, I was wearing a fur coat. And we were inside like this really hot balmy nightclub.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's also my first time wearing a dancer's belt. Bruce and I had the extreme pleasure of packing our nuts into our own bodies and then yanking a piece of floss up into our assholes. It's his actual thong. Yea, I started off with a medium because I was like, oh I don't want stuff flopping around, I want it all tight. Yes, tight it was. I've never had a sore ass crack before.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Every single time. I'm blessed that I'm not hairy, but I did definitely make a pucker face every time I had to dislodge that thing. It started to basically bind with my skin after a while.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then yea, the, uh, so, I was wearing these stretchy red pants, which are awesome, but by the end of the first day, I had already done so many deep, deep thrusts into those things, that they were, they were thoroughly soiled. And, uh, I was told-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's taco cabana, breakfast taco. I've never been- I taste them every morning.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, in long lines of performance, I've got a Doosoup theater for you guys. Oh, okay, alright. Yes, this is- There was a particular video that captured my, captured my, uh, fancy. The Impresario. The Impresario is what we're seeing here. Google it. Uh, so this is, uh, to set the stage, this is a video on Twitter. The video is somebody recording their phone.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because they went to Thailand and looked at the local stories on Snapchat, and this is a transcript of the Snapchat story that they found.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, and it's several Snapchat videos all in a line, so I'll try to narrate it as best I can.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes, because they found the stories on Snapchat. Okay, so uhm, it opens with a shirtless man, pretty good shape, British, by the judge of his accident, which is kind of an issue because some of it is unintelligible. But he is standing next to a very attractive woman.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it opens my boy. She says, hi. Pretty oddly deep voice rolling. Whatcha mean? Her. Her. Put me off.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, well, yeah. Uhm, so, in the next video, our narrator is lying on the bed, and Jeffrey is across the room again in a towel. Jeffrey! Jeff! Jeffrey! She's not saying anything. Get your fucking dick out then!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, next video. What are you doing now, yeaah? What are you doing? Put your fucking Siggy out, she's moving. Stroke me dick. Yeaah, I'm not sucking yours.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So in this one, they're in bed, uh, and you see their torsos because he's, you know, he's filming like that. But the implication is that she is jerking them off. Yeah, stroke me dick. Just in case that wasn't clear.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And he's fucking filming at the same time. Our narrator is doing that. Our hero. Our hero. Our protagonist.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Get your fucking dick out. Get your dick out. While he's saying this, he's pulling away her hands and she keeps covering her d-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Nothing romantic about that. So yes, he's frantically pulling away her hands to see- The dick. His dick. She keeps covering back up. Get your fucking dick out, get your dick out, get your dick out. And then, oh no, he's in the back. Get your dick out. Well, he's come, he's come. Dave's fucking blowing his load. Dave, you fucking little man boy. And then- Well, is it Dave or Jeffrey? Apparently Dave.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] While he, while he was fucking Dave, Dave came on herself, because that's what happens. Oh, right. I've been told.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, and then, and then our narrator is uh, is standing and appears to be pretty fucked up at this point. I don't know if it's on Weed or Alkali. What a waste of time he was in an unintelligible British slang. Uh, he was no good to me. I feel fucking ill. Not sure what that exactly means.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then, uh, he's yelling at his phone again. What the fuck are you going on about? Basically, yeah, he's fitter than most of you fucking ugly little trolls. Maybe he was responding to somebody who was like, probably, oh, someone's talking to Snapchat, okay. So, okay, in this video, is this the moral statement?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This one, Jeffrey is now sitting on the edge of the bed and narrator is standing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, and then the piece de resistance at the end, he's saying to his phone, going to Thailand and not shagging a ladyboy is like going to fucking Turkey and not eating a fucking kebab, so fuck off. Uh, this is called My Story Snapchat.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It took a couple of viewings for me to really comprehend it all, and I'm still not sure that I did.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, well he wanted to see her dick. He was really preoccupied with, with, I don't know, slopping dicks together. Which hey, more power to him, I don't care.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, speaking of things you have to get used to, uh, we're moving on to some Korass nerd shit, which is I guess the name of this particular segment. Uh, official specs for the Nintendo Switch. Ohhhh, shit. It's, uhm, it's bad. It's really bad. It's real bad. Oh, what? It is? Yes. Okay, so there's two modes that the Switch will run in.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's got a little, he's got a little thing there. I'm gonna bend some, you're just falling apart buddy. So it's docked and undocked. Essentially, it's got the same CPU no matter what. But the GPU will clock up or down based on whether or not it's docked.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, so the, uh, it's got a, I think it's got a four, uh, four core processor. The CPU is...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] 1.02 GHz all the time. Which is terrifically slow, by the way. For comparison, a PS4 has dual 4-core processors, each of which at 1.6 GHz. Oh wow. Yeaah, so it's got twice the cores and all of them are clocked about 50% higher.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, the GPU hurts even more. Uh, when it's docked, it runs at 768 mHz. MHz by the way.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then when it's undocked, it's at 307, or sorry, megahertz. MHz would be impossible to run anything on. By comparison, a PS4 has an 800 megahertz GPU. So when docked, the GPU is almost, just based purely on clock speed, almost as good as a PS4's, but when it's pulled off the dock, it's about half.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, when you put it on the dock, that's good enough to do 1080p.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But yea, if you, if you were expecting the Nintendo Switch to be the next powerhouse console, those dreams die now. It never is. It never is. But at the same time I was thinking...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, in the midst of turning on my TV and turning on my sound bar and making sure that UHD color was working right and then booting up my PS4 which yelled at me for not turning it off right the time before and then spending 10 minutes to get into Final Fantasy and then have it load.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I realized, actually, I really wouldn't mind playing Zelda on a tablet right now. If it just turned right on and I could just have something on a TV and just be like, bleep, boop, boop, boop.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That sounds pretty good. Also the fact we were gone for a week and, you know, we brought, we brought an Xbox and a PS4, but I think we hooked up the Saturday before we left. So if, I mean, we were playing Marvel Puzzle Quest back to back, that's exactly what the Switch theoretically would have been for.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, uhm, they, so it's weird. They haven't had it. They've been releasing a lot of them for 3DS, which is weird given that that console's been out forever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, they, uh, I think they're, they're learning how to do AAA 1080p production. I remember that was, that was a huge deal for Wii U. There was some interview two years in the Wii U, they were like, yeah, we didn't have any idea how hard it was and how long it took to make 1080p caliber games. So maybe they've staffed up and they know now, so they can hit the ground running, I think.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's been read between the lines kind of thing, but Nintendo Japan and Nintendo America seem to have pinpointed that they do need a steady, constant flow of software from Nintendo proper, because no other company's gonna probably be making a whole lot of stuff for it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The Switch will be cheap. If the Switch comes out at like, this is very aggressive, but I think 150 would be pfft. What? I'm just saying. No way. They could turn money on 150 given, I mean it's a, what is it, a Tegra X. So it's essentially, I mean the Nvidia Shields were apt comparisons, and this is like a Shield from two years ago.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, they could probably pull off 150, and Nintendo I'm sure has deep ties with Chinese chip manufacturers and stuff, so they can probably negotiate a pretty good deal in that regard. I think...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think it could be 150, 200. And when you look at that as like, okay, this is a, this is a plain thing. This is a, you know, my girlfriend wants to watch Netflix, so I'm gonna do this while I'm half listening to Crazy Ex-Girlfriend.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's uh, it's piecemeal. It's interesting because...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Again, I've never seen any numbers about them because Nintendo never put it out, but once they started Virtual Console on the Wii, that brought in so much revenue that was basically its own business unit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, and I don't know if that's slowed down, because you know, we, we unit sales were so huge, and I'm sure people were just desperate for something to use it for, so of course everybody's gonna buy Super Mario Brothers or whatever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But yeaah, the premise that a tablet gaming system with buttons and sticks that can run GameCube and 64 Super Nintendo games and new stuff


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's got a lot of potential, especially if it's cheap.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Everyone, including ourselves, will get our first chance to actually play it at RTX Sydney. Which is a pretty fucking cool get. They announced that, uh, I think middle of last week.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But yeaah, it's gonna be there. Nintendo of Australia is gonna bring it by and you'll be able to get your hands on it and play it. I'm pretty sure, I would guess Zelda is the game.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sounds good. I think that's the only fair thing to do. Yeah. So if, uh, if you're in the area, if you were maybe on the fence about going and hopefully trying the Nintendo Switch will tip you over, make sure to get tickets at rtxsydney.com. Uh, man, I'm hoping, I'm hoping that we can pull strings and like jump a line. Oh, I'm guessing that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's enough right there. Sydney's fucking hot. In February. On January. I had a migraine the night I saw Rogue One. The last time I had a migraine was in Sydney. Oh yea, that's right. At this point my life is the milestones of being driven into the ground when I get splitting, mind numbing pain.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I am a hero. It's true. You're welcome, everyone. See this? You're consuming it with your eyes. Lawrence has been doing


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Fuck that guy. But I guess that's gonna do it for today's...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Dude soup, uh, we're out of time. Such a high note. I love it. Yeah. If you're watching live, make sure to stay tuned for the post show. It's coming up next. Gonna look at some fan art. There's a lot of good stuff this week. Uh, if you're not watching live, thank you for joining us however you chose to, whether that's listening in audio or watching on video.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, make sure you come back next week. Uh, actually, we're gonna be on vacation starting next week, so... Yes we are.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, the next couple of weeks are going to be back in, back in the OG set, which is to say that group of chairs in front of a webcam. So look forward to that. It'll be a nice little...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, post show's coming up, thanks for watching everybody, stay tuned or have a good day depending on when it is you're watching this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In ultraviolet there are vampires, but they don't explain that until about two thirds of the way through the movie. Why would they? I don't know, because it seems to be a major plot point of the movie.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, no, I'll tell you what happened. So, we told Bruce that there are comments on videos. We originally hid those from him, but he found a way to read them. And someone said, I think it was something around the lines of, uh, I don't like Bruce. And he just refuses to do videos.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, start crying and say no and give her a strawberry. Problem solved.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The part that's always tough for me is that it's always weird when a western country like ourselves is always talking about, like Japan, where it's a country we're not from, we don't understand the values and what is okay there and what's, you know, not okay here. I've been to Japan. Spent several days there, so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, okay, yeaah, I mean, you're a waifu expert, that's cool. Pretty well versed.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But at the same time, I'm just, I guess, going from the devil's advocate side, I guess I'd rather have a Japanese man being at home, in his VR unit, in his like, stim suit, uh, doing all this stuff rather than being on a bus harassing a woman.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Video games. I know as video games have become more popular, the rate of violence has gone down. I haven't looked at that stat recently, but that's what it was. Like in what sense though? Violent crimes have gone down as video games have become more popular. Not that there is a, I was gonna say, it's not to say it's one to one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But, I don't know, I mean, for me personally, I think video games are a great stress reliever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Am I crazy in saying this though that I feel that, this is my personal side, but I feel like video games and media in general kind of keeps people away from going outside.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, you tend, it's not so much that I'm gonna take the things that I've learned from looking at this rectangle to the outside world, it's I'd rather stay here because it's safe and I don't have to inter, it's all, it's a one way interaction.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This, this happened before, where we've gone out and a guy will come up to us, like, or, and we've never met this person, and they go, hey, what's up, fucker? And you're like, excuse me? And they're like, this is the first time we're interacting, and they're mine, they're like, no, no, no, I've watched you on the Friends Simulator a lot, so, like, I love Friends Simulator, that's my new favorite thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, Michael was telling me that some guy like, hit him up and was like, look at this thing I broke. I did it for you. And Michael's like, no, don't break stuff. That's stupid. He's like, but you break stuff. He's like, yeah, for videos, for fun.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So on a serious note though, is there anything that you can look back to in your childhood from media, video games, books, movies, otherwise that has that effect on you or is it just because you're a really nice Canadian person?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, spew the, the whole, like, elf, uh, rights thing or whatever, which they can totally cut out of the movies because they're like, no, you sit down Hermione.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Causing a problem. Is it safe to say that humans are inherently just kinda fucked up?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And they're always gonna have weird fetishes and kinks and weird little things that maybe it's not healthy to


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They would basically go, if they ca- they caught someone smoking, they're like, okay, well you need to quit smoking because, A, it's bad for you because you need to be, this is in the Navy, he's like, you need to be healthy for the Navy and then also, uh, you're not supposed to be smoking here. So if they caught someone smoking, they would basically buy a 12 pack and make them smoke the entire thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's like, when you, when you talk like, with the whole like, wiping out the human race, like Ultron and the Matrix make more sense, when the robots are like, we can't, you're so fucking broken. Like, you humans are so messed up. It will be easier just to wipe you. It's done. And it's like, well, let's make sure we don't get wiped. Like, just buy robots.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] To, uh, if you don't want your daughter to have sex, the last thing you should do is lock her up in a girls-only Catholic school. That works every time. Yeah, and then lock them in the room. What if you want your daughter to have sex?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm just saying, we, uh, uh, overall, like, okay, the kids are gonna have sex no matter what because it's a human drive and you can't curb that. Also when you're a teen, holy shit. Yeah, I was gonna say, in a video games, I mean, maybe it might make it better or worse.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You can liken it to like, obesity. Or it's like, I can't crave this hunger unless I eat hometown buffet.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Every night, it's like, okay, well at least you've recognized you have a problem, and...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Someone's gonna get hurt eventually, one way or the other, because your pedophilia ways will probably get you in jail then you get shanked to death. You probably don't want that, so you should probably seek help. If you don't want to die.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There was this, I feel like I'm doing this every week now, but there was a really good Ted Talk. Yeaah. Where they were talking about trying to kind of like fix the brain, uh, and one of the ways they were doing it was with, uhm, diapers.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Diapers have a chemical in it that causes them to expand, you know, when babies piss and shit in there, like, the material expands and they're like, it's kinda crazy. Like, well what if we applied that to the brain? We could probably see things in there that you normally could not because just the microscope just can't see.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Certain things, and then, so they actually took like brain tissue, used that chemical, and then put like a, like a neon type color in like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, basically the electrons and everything that were firing off the ring got bigger. And so it's like, it just made me think of that because it's like, well maybe...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We do have, the brain is so fucking complicated that we don't understand about the human condition. Yeah, I mean we've only been studying the brain for a hundred, two hundred years, like it's a fairly new thing, especially for how long humans have been here and how long we've evolved. And that things like that, it would be kind of crazy where eventually you just go into the stick and go,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But you're gonna have to deal with the consequences, but I'm cool with it. So, that will be clear from your conscience. You can go to bed saying, he wanted it, but the police might think differently, because unfortunately we live on this planet with a thing called laws. And those will always exist.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Also, human law is basically like, you can't really eat people because it's gonna make you crazy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was going to say, going back to the adult thing, if there's two consulting adults and no one's getting hurt, that goes like thought crime. It's like, okay, we're going to punish these people for thinking a certain way? That's probably illegal.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was going to say that you might anger a lot of people, you might upset a lot of people because you have a certain different way of thinking. It's how you act.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That is always the most important thing, because like, going back to Pandora's box, and saying what we said earlier, humans are fucked up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We are messed up inherently. We have a lot of crazy baboon rage in here. There's a lot of weird neurons firing off, a lot of weird things that we don't understand. And there's gonna be a lot of times where you're gonna have a lot of strange thoughts and you're not gonna understand why. It's how you deal with those. And that's what separates us from the vicious animals that are tearing each other apart every day.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's funny cause Futurama kind of tackles that in that one episode where you can download basically any celebrity. Yeah. Yeah, Lucy Liu, like onto a, on a robot skin and then it's like, and that becomes your girlfriend. And it's like, I mean, we're not too far from that where you can have augmented reality.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This all sounds even more complicated and more expensive and not something that's going to keep the price down.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When the Wii U right now is struggling to keep up with the price of an Xbox One. Well see, that's weird. The Wii U should be cheaper. Should be, but the technology is so expensive.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I guess my, my perspective is, we've already hit the apex of what a controller can be, in my opinion, with the, uh, like the, the, uh, Xbox Elite controller or whatever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then, and then PS4 controller, like, I don't think you can get better than those, in my, my personal opinion. Uhm, and I think VR is sort of the next step in that, where we start using our actual hands, and it becomes one-to-one, and then that becomes a thing, so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I still feel like Nintendo's kind of over there playing with its Legos, and kind of doing its own thing, which I will always respect them for doing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But unfortunately I still feel like it's like, it just feels wrong. I don't know. It feels like they're sort of wasting their time trying to reinvent the wheel over there. While everyone else is sort of just passing them by.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You can, you can use like a PS4 controller, and I think other controllers too, I mean yeaah, we've seen the MOGA, but on phones, and use emulators and stuff like that, like, I saw some picture on Reddit where some kid was like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I guess I'm just sorta tired of waiting for the NX because we've been talking about rumors for...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We're getting close to like haptic feedback gloves or something like that. And then, I mean, take it a few steps further when we get to a point where you can just like inject a little nanomachine into your body and then like your finger, your haptic feedback will be in your hands.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, we're getting there. I'm gonna shove a needle into my spine and get out of this world forever. There are these like weird moments where I will just kind of stop and think, okay, read a news story about how they're trying to get a submarine on Europa, or I'm sorry, Titan.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Which is, uh, what is it, Jupiter's moon? Yeah, and I'm like, that's fucking rad. Uh, we have electric cars, and they're being built, being mass produced by robots. Uh, we're talking about virtual reality not as like a, in theory, but as an actual thing. And I'm like, this is really cool. Like, it is kinda weird to be like, living in the future, but then it makes me sad that,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I guess it's sort of the lesson from that film Midnight in Paris. It's like, just learn to appreciate your time. Yeah. And like, I guess the thing is...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The, the human footprint or what are you, the ecological footprint that we've created and all these things. It's like, I do see it as a negative, but then at the same time,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You need the negative before you get to the positive. And like right now we're living in the shit and we're living like in a lot of the bad stuff. But I have to believe that it's gonna get better at some point.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Renewable energy, right? Like that's where we want to go, and like that will become a thing, and it is becoming a thing. I mean, here's- Solar panels is-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. And embryos, all pokin' around the table. I like the fact that it's becoming less sci-fi and just becoming. Yeah. Fie. Just Fie. Fiction. And, and F.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was, it's the, the, the best thing about, Oh, I'm sorry. I was gonna say the best thing about technology is when you know, when you don't notice that it's working. It's like, it's funny that we're doing that right now, we're like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, oh, it's so cool that my phone just works. Like, yes, this is where it all should be. Don't have to reboot it every six hours? Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's a good bathing suit, not that one, the other one. The devil one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes. Kind of. Yes. Drawing together was good though.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was gonna say, it seems like the Riverdale thing is like, well, we got this license.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I, I've told this story before, but growing up I was a Mac kid, I didn't have a PC, and the only games I had was the LucasArts collection, so I played a very, a lot of Day of the Tentacle, and a lot of Sam Max at the Road, and a lot of Full Throttle, those were my, that was my, that got me through a lot of hard times, thanks Tim.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was gonna ask, uh, Tim, since you've been, you've been making games, like, from the early days of, like, point and collect and stuff, what, did you ever think VR would ever be a, an actual thing for games? Like, as long as I remember, it's always been kind of a pipe dream.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Glad about Rhombus Arun because I think standing still works better for VR currently. When you try to add motion with a controller, there seems to be a disconnect between, you probably went through the same thing, Tim, where that motion sickness comes in where you move one way, your head goes the other, and then your body doesn't know what to do and you kind of get like, it feels like car sickness or motion sickness.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It looks, it looks to be like a bad porno parody, except it's for people who have a quicksand fetish. What's the trick to getting on a quicksand? There's a trick I thought.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We're gonna play it. I knew we were gonna play it for the channel, so. I'm mostly, I was going, I was telling you guys earlier, but I was going through Resident Evil this weekend, and like, I played it in the least scary way, cause A, we've already played through the beginning part, and had the lights on, and then like the washing machine was going, and then like I had the volume kinda down.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Apparently she was a lovely woman and the woman who played the other, the happy, the good witch, the good witch was like a total cunt to everybody.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There was a part though in like Resident Evil where uhm, you, it's one of the Mia flashback tapes, and there's the old woman who's like looking for you and it's just full on stealth, but it's not a glitch, but it's a weird thing where when she goes, when it becomes a video game,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When she notices you and then she like chases you down or whatever, she drops her lantern and it's almost comical. Oh yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Ah, girl! Okay, stop being scary. But like I said also, I'm playing in the least scary way possible.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I wish they would rename it just call it Resident Evil instead of Resident Evil 7. Like I wish this was the reboot of the series because it kind of feels like, like that one part when we got to it when we did our gameplay, but when you get to the mansion and you're like, oh, this is like when you go, ah, that's like


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think the game would be, I'm curious to see what the, how the Vive is going to incorporate it, if you can do uhm, if it's going to be room scale.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] PlayStation VR I thought was a little too low res, uhm, I mean, in, you know, whatever, it's a, how much is that headset?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The hardest thing with VR is the frame rate. It's gotta stay at a pretty smooth, uh, the minute it starts skipping frames is when like it really gets bad. Uhm, I'm just curious for the, my problem is the sitting motion. If I want to be playing a sitting game it needs to be like a uhm,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right, so when you are moving in VR, your feet are sitting down, there is a disconnect and you don't like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's why you always see people running into walls and like punching the ceiling stuff because they actually believe they're there with, uh, Resident Evil and the PlayStation thing is like, I just see that as a screen. That's all it really is. It's a good screen. It's not bad, but man, I want that room scale to work.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well that's, that's the, I think that's the important thing about Resident Evil's legacy is that it is a game that you can play entirely in VR that isn't really, it's not exactly being marketed that way right now, but we're, that's why we're getting closer to like where, where we were 10 years ago when it was like, or further, you know, when it was, uhm, Nintendo VR, Virtual Boy or whatever, like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Look, it's VR. It's like, not really. Not even close. You gotta use your imagination to make it good. And now we're getting to the point where it's like, you can play a full 14 hour experience or whatever in a virtual reality world and like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's getting closer and closer. That's what I like. Like the baby steps are starting to become strides.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I see what you're saying though, cause like, with like, Spider-Man it was, okay, PlayStation 1 had a Spider-Man game where,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He can kinda swing around and there's a little bit of fog and then it became like Web of Shadows where, oh wow, now I'm actually swinging on New York and I'm on the floor. He is Spider-Man. And then we're gonna get this new PS4 game from Insomniac where it's like, okay, it's slightly better and then give it another 10 years, you're gonna have, you're gonna put on some glasses and you're swinging around New York yourself.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then, you know, you kill yourself because you'll never have that happiness again. You don't have that upper body strength, but what you can have.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Real quick, what movie is everyone thinking of right now when he's describing like the broadest horror movie of all time? I'm thinking of The Ring.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Currently right now is like, they can make just a normal enemy feel like a boss fight, which is kinda Dark Souls-y a little bit, uh, that I really like. It's like, you gotta be very careful with this, like, you sure you wanna use five bullets on this guy? Might be eight, who knows. Could be three, it might be a bonus, that's fantastic, but.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, it, it's pretty cool that it's like, that, that's, it's sort of the thing when you become desensitized when you're just overbearing with enemies, and then you're right, you gamify it, and then it becomes a video game, and then it's not scary anymore, but when there's like three monsters, molders, like in a room, and you have twenty bullets, you're like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know what to do. And then it becomes, it has like a genuine frantic moment where you're trying to get your key out to open a boiler room so you can get through before these three things attack you. I was like, that's cool. It's actually, it's succeeding for me in terms of being like a good horror game, but also just being a good game.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it is, it is this like, this persistent monster that's always chasing you and like, you can, you can fight it, but you can't kill it until the game tells you you can. He's so scary. He is creepy. Yeah, there's nothing like a southern gentleman chasing you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm not sure what's going on there. You're right, there isn't a lot to do in Georgia. Yeah, pretty much.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Welcome everybody to a slightly outdoorsy bowl of dude soup. After you, after you, after you have a, after you have a spoonful, your legs are sore and you don't know why. Mostly because you don't eat soup that often. Stop playing Pokemon. That's what we're doing today. That's what we're talking about. That's the whole point.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, I already did it. I did it. Did you? You guys were arguing. You didn't hear me. I was actually catching Pokemon. I'm Adam. Nice to meet you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And today our listeners can get any premium suit for just $399. That's up to 50% off at Indochino.com and enter the code DUDE, D-U-D-E at checkout. Uh, we'll go into depth a little more about that later. Uh, imagine for a second.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Playing Pokemon Go, walking around the town, wearing the finest 3P suit. You can.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, yeah, the node thing was a little different, but it's essentially the same thing. There's still no real gameplay there, aside from just the experience. No, there isn't.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Much like, much like people that watch and comment on Overwatch videos, the people who comment about the production of this channel know everything. I know exactly how to tell you how to do it correctly. I just thought it was funny because I was like, but I did it on purpose.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just, god, I, I love, like kinda to James's point, there's this whole new crew of, of like people that dispense advice, un, unasked for advice, that's my favorite. Unsolicited, hot gameplay tips.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We have to learn about how to nourish yourself while you're out on those Pokemon expeditions.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Lord knows walking around can make a man hungry. Or a woman. Whatever. A Pokemon trainer hungry.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And wouldn't it be great to come home to a home-cooked meal that you have to prepare yourself, but that's still better than going out and getting food? I am of course talking about Blue Apron, a fine podcast sponsor, so...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This, uh, this service, we talked about it a bit on the podcast, I won't go into the details too much, but they send you all the pre-portioned ingredients for a certain set of meals throughout the week.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, each shipment comes with these recipe cards that tell you exactly how to make the meals. So, you don't have to do the shopping, you don't have to do the like sorting, all you have to do is the, what I consider the fun part. The cutting, the cooking, the flambéing. I haven't ever had a recipe with flambés yet, but I would like to.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, and as I'm using it more, I'm discovering more bits about the service. If you go to the website, they actually have little preparatory videos to tell you, to like teach you technique. So if you need to like core a tomato or learn how to slice something, they have little nice videos to tell you, to show you how to do it properly so you don't cut your fingers off.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, as one does, I can give you a sample of this week's menu. We've got spinach basil pesto gnocchi with summer squash, green beans, and fresh mozzarella.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Spiced pork tacos with avocado, pickled onion, and elote style corn. And summer vegetable pizza with gar-garlic, lemon, broccolini.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So you can check out this week's menu, that's a bit of a sample, and get your first three meals free with free shipping by going to Blue Apron dot com slash soup.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's Bluriprint.com slash soup, S-O-U-P. If you ever wanted to, uh, be healthier, learn how to cook, maybe impress a date.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is an easy way to do it. So, uh, yeaah, I've been using it, I love it, uh, I, but I also like cooking, so, if you hate that shit, maybe not for you, but, it should be for you, because you should learn what you're putting in your body. And garbage from Jack in the Box isn't something that you should probably be flooding your system with that often.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But yeaah, thank you Blue Apron. Your service is wonderful. I enjoy it. And I, uh, I hope to use it for a very long time. Alright.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Here, I'll check Adam. I mean, with the exception of the legendary Pokemon, I don't think, like rarity was never that big of a deal in the games themselves. All the Pokemon were relatively catchable, or evolvable.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Fuckin' battle them. Yeaah, for me I'm concerned about...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] With, with every like sensation, it's, it's that the developer hit on, hit on something great, but eventually everybody's gonna figure out that like all things in life it's an illusion, uh, or progress is an illusion and it's meaningless.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well of course, sure, and that's all that matters. I'm not, I'm not like saying that the app will be a failure. I think it's past that, well past that point already. But it's like, I don't know. It'll be interesting to see the kind of disillusionment wash over people. I'm, it's all up to Niantic and


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're probably freaking out right now crunching to put out more content or figure out what the next wave of content will be and then release it. Absolutely they are. But uh, it seems fairly extensible. The next features seem obvious. Trading is something they've announced. Uhm, player to player battling.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's like, once you have that in there, that's essentially the entire Pokemon fantasy in real life. You get to walk around and catch them, you get to meet people in the wild and battle them on the spot, uh, and really...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well I mean, you can only catch some, like say a rare Pokemon spawns, only so many people can catch it. At least that's what I've been told.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That can already happen. So it's like somebody's like, that's the one I needed and you took it. And then a brawl breaks out. But it's just like a limp-wristed kind of weird nerdy brawl. Yea, slap fights. Uhm, looking forward to that. There's already been a lot of interesting stories about


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I just love when the human experience suddenly gets thrust into people who largely, and I'm being very stereotypical here, but largely probably spend a lot of times indoors with like canned media, like video games or movies, and then they go outside and they start seeing just how random and weird and unpredictable a real world


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, that was pretty neat. That's actual adventure. I agree. You don't like save the world, but you do get to like have some interesting experiences, something spontaneous. Maybe after the fact you go get a burger, like that's a nice day and I think that's an experience people don't really have anymore. So, oh man, I couldn't be happier about it. I do enjoy the, the,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's... Well, it's something that I expect is going to happen more and more as...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] As our, like, technological evolution outpaces actual evolution. Cause we're not smarter than we were 3,000 years ago. And yet we have all this extra stuff to like distract us, and tempt us, and put us in harm's way. And for Christ's sake, people still think that you don't have to get your kids inoculated, so it's, or sorry, vaccinated. Uh, so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Man, it's only gonna get worse from here. In terms of like, cool things that make human beings kill themselves in stupid ways. I was looking forward to VR for that. Turns out no VR experience is really interesting enough to keep you on it for more than 20 minutes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But if they ever do make one, then we'll have, you know, people dying of starvation or dehydration in a VR helmet, which is cool. Uh. But Adam, what were you up to this weekend?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That was a mistake. Adam, I'm glad you're here to present, uh, varied viewpoints. We needed somebody to be the progeny one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So you didn't watch Stranger Things? No, I saw the first episode. Oh, okay. You liked it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The ads are so garbage, so Hulu's ads are like 30-somethings with money. And that makes me feel fantastically depressed when they have like, because all their ads to a point are like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The implication is, you're old and boring now. It's okay. But buy a car. Buy a Kia. I don't want to hear this!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, if you, if, if you are a thirty-something looking to class up your life a little bit, uh, Indochino suits have just the ticket for you, or if maybe you're the type to get mad at, at black tie verbiage, uh, Indochino can, can fix you up with the suit that you need, because apparently that's what that means.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, you can get one of a kind made to measure suits. Uh, you can customize all the details. Your lining, your lapels. Personal monograms. Have you ever, have any of you ever had something that's personally monogrammed? No.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well with the exception of James, we're all classless motherfuckers. And hopefully Indochino can help with that. Uh, they offer suits that have crafted through 14 measurements, uh, and they say, and I believe them, you can't go wrong with a 100% merino wool suit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you don't have a wool suit, you're probably not a man. So, you know, that's my Hulu ad anyway. Uh, so today, our listeners can get any premium suit for just $399, which is a 50% discount at Indochino.com, that's I-N-D-O-C-H-I-N-O, Indochino, just like it sounds. Uh, and then are due to check out, plus shipping is free.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, there's no reason not to try your first custom-made suit with a deal that's good, and a suit classic, uh, and a suit classic from their premium collection will look good, feel good, and last. So go to Indochino.com, enter your code DUDE. If, if maybe you're graduating college or something like that, you need a suit, at least one. Uh, it's true. Everybody needs at least one formal wear. Uh, because boy, you don't want to show up to a wedding in shorts and a shirt.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, that's the whole ad read? Oh, so speaking of corruption real quick. Oh, okay guy, go ahead. Uh, just a quick note, people were mad at our last podcast, figured I'd address it quickly. Oh, that's right. Uh, yeaah, uhm, apparently through our tone, and I talked a bit about it with the listeners and stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, no, I mean, just for myself, I think it was a pretty willful, willful manipulation of audience and also a, a knowing lack of disclosure about ownership and practices and all that stuff. So I think those guys are, are pretty visibly guilty. And it doesn't, like motivation doesn't matter.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The fact of the matter is they promoted a product and did not disclose that they had monetary ties to it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well it is technically legal. There's no money exchanging hands, but there are items that are worth money and easily sellable exchanging hands.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think the nature of your presentation to a reasonably intelligent individual makes it clear that it's, to use a bad word, prejudice, but it's comical prejudice. Always for the sake of comedy. Always for the sake of comedy. I mean, you clearly just hate indie games for the banner notes of what they are.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, that's kind of the sad part is you can't make imagery now without it kind of seeming like a tragedy that happened that week. It's terrible.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, but yeaah, we enjoy chatting with you guys, uh, and we're going to specifically do that in just a second here. We have a post show coming up. Uh, if you're listening on the audio feed or on YouTube, you're not going to see that, but, uh, Rooster Teeth First members can, so maybe go check that out at the website, roosterteeth.com?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So the issues here are, uh, this, this is where it gets sticky. One, neither of them disclosed that they own the website even though they portrayed themselves using and enjoying it, uh, and stand to gain materially from other people doing the same. Two, uhm,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Which is not a bad thing at all, but. It looks very PT. Even just the end montage of that trailer where it's like, it's just cutting between really abstract images and stuff and like, ehh, they're trying to be PT. Is that also in VR?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think October is kind of the new holiday release window almost, like, like November is, is, is, not even December anymore, November is the holiday release month, and now I guess it's, it's like encroaching on October.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, the night before E3, I was at my good friend Nicholas Winding Refn's new film.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The seamless merging of like real world and then trying to incorporate video game is cool to me. And especially when it comes to shopping and I'll be like shopping in Ikea and testing a couch in my apartment. Not that one. Not that one. Augmented reality.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I guess like, I never really tried Google Glass. I don't know. I didn't either.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, you get credits. So then even if, if say like you don't happen to use that credit that month, if you still store it, you still keep it as a credit that you can then later use. So I have a few built up credits now actually.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so now I'm kind of just dropping them more freely of like, oh, I'm kind of interested in this book, I think I'll try it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I have always been incredibly happy with Audible. And, you know, I listen to it when I'm like going to the gym, or I'm walking Benson, or I'm driving. Like, it's perfect.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, uh, actual, like, physical games anymore, too. I buy digital games, maybe on my new Xbox One S.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Microsoft has so much flack with the Xbox One release and DRM and everything that, like, I don't blame them for just being like, ah, we might as well just put it out there and not try to...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That was Sony's initiative too with like PSX, they're like, it's all about the games. It's giving you the games. Speaking of games, I played the For Honor demo yesterday.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It is, it is all just AI. Okay. Uhm, but you really feel like you are storming a castle. That's cool. And it's really neat.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I felt like For Honor was just gonna be a, a classier, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Chivalry, if that makes any sense. Maybe classier is the wrong word, but it's just kind of a more polished chivalry. And it's pleasantly surprising me, because chivalry is a cool game. I can't really wrap my head around it and do well at it, but.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I didn't feel too graceful playing for honor, but I think with time you'll feel like you're really coordinated. I definitely think there's a learning curve with that game.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, cause there's a thing where you can- shit, shit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's a thing where you can, uh, you can, like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, which you feel pretty powerful when you've got your, your giant, uh, like, blade or axe and you're swinging it around, but when you just knee a guy, like, full force and... I can't do this to talk. No, no, Lawrence can do it, Lawrence can do it. It's actually really difficult. Yeah, I was really, really, uh, pleasantly surprised with that.


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[Assistant] The only thing that made me kind of like, guffaw at that trailer was at the beginning he's like,


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[Assistant] I'm sort of the opposing of you guys. I love my stories in games. You guys know this. I love it. I love a beautifully crafted story. I love depth and I love...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Aesthetically beautiful games, which usually are, those are the games that


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Not always, but a lot of the time, you know, you have to play a...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It, it just felt, you felt really alo- I felt alone watching that, that trailer. Uhm, the enemies kind of have a like Wind Waker-esque vibe to some of them. They're a little bit more cartoonish. Uhm, I would like, my breath like caught when I was watching it though. I thought it looked beautiful.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's definitely more what I thought Skyward Sword was gonna be. And it might be, it might not appear to be at all what I think it is now. Which is a much more open Zelda kinda like you're describing I think.


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[Assistant] I have faith that Nintendo is protective enough of that franchise and has


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, people don't want their handheld in games and they know that they're gonna lose their core adult audience with that game because I don't...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I, I, my younger cousins, I used to try to get them into Zelda. They didn't care. Really? Yea, they didn't. Interesting.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But like, I, I have, I have faith, I have faith that this game will be, uh, what we've been asking for in a Zelda game. Major faith.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I want the feeling of expansiveness and the feeling of discovery when I'm playing it basically, which I didn't have with Skyward Sword because I felt like I was returning, I know that was part of their thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I almost had a mini heart attack when in the trailer he uses the item that you see a grid start to rise, but then it turned into an ice cube that he jumped on, but I thought he was going to bring up some kind of crafting system when I saw the grid or something and I was like,


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[Assistant] I was just, I was gonna ask Bruce if there's anything he's excited about from E3. Yeaah.


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[Assistant] Hello James. Hi Lawrence. How are you doing? I'm well. Good. I saw a lot of movies this weekend.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's more of a human rights thing. It's because there was no, well there was no infrastructure set up for that society, that whole group of the population that was like, well what about our homes now?


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[Assistant] It's a big ol' mess. That's the best thing I can say about it. It's a big ol' mess. Again, the term terrible doesn't re- I don't know that, like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Lawrence and I were having a discussion after the movie was over and was like, hey, I think in ten years we're gonna watch this, we're gonna laugh, we're gonna have a good time. I don't think that's necessarily gonna be the case. I don't think that this falls into the category of Batman Forever or Batman and Robin. I think what makes those movies different is that those are bad movies with a consistent tonal frequency that are throughout.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. Not in Suicide Squad, yeah, I mean there's none. Well, so like Lawrence was talking about how he had a good time laughing at it. I wasn't able to do that because it made me feel bad.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It made me feel like I was laughing at someone who like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, was genuinely trying. You know, like if someone, some sprinter in the Olympics is trying to run in trips and falls, I don't laugh at them. I go, oh my gosh. All that work.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You said it, you said it best. You described the Joker's part in that where you said the other day, you were like, it felt like they were like, alright everybody, that's a wrap on Suicide Squad, that's great, and then a limo pulls up and Jared Leto gets out and he's like, I'm ready, and they're like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I was keeping my fingers crossed that like, the Joker's role was that, oh no, the Joker's way gone. Batman took care of that Joker a really long time ago, but Harley Quinn is still dealing with the repercussions of the influence that he had on her and now he's not around anymore. And so,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What's she supposed to do? She's basically like in a state of mourning, but then...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's cheesy as it sounds, getting friendly with the suicide squad is kinda what gives her new drive. It means that she isn't necessarily just a bad person anymore, she finds a way to-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Use what the joker kind of gave her to make it like, like a constructive change in the world.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Their mission ends up being to save the person who created the squad. Yeaah.


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[Assistant] Bare bones basic things. They're coming in on a helicopter. All we've seen as the audience is that the city is not been taken over, but in the middle of the city is this beam of light shooting into the sky. That's all we've been told as an audience. And the helicopter comes in and it gets shot down. Can you tell me what shot it down?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, man, it was stuff like that just drove me crazy. There's a whole secret, by the way, there's a whole sequence where they're in an alley, and then they're like, they're like turn around the corner, and it's the only, I guess the only people left in the city, which is Suicide Squad.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Who are those things? All I saw was a giant thing. There's a scene after that that introduces the putty patrol. And I'm like, who puts that together? It's like, she's like, come here, and then kisses him or whatever. But she's like doing this the whole time. Yeah, she's dancing, which by the way, didn't bother me. I'm fine with- I just thought she had to look like someone who had to pee.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then, they showed the putty patrol, and this is stupid, but it would still work better than whatever they did, going like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hey, we took over this tank when the military came in, so now we have access to a really high caliber weapon, and then you just show one shot of him going bang bang bang bang, and then the helicopter goes down. Or, even still, you just go to the guy's whip arm. Like these are the questions that you have watching the movie that just like, rip you out of it. Which is why I think like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is why it feels more like I'm laughing at something than with something. This isn't bat card. Ugh, how cringey.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, but at least, at least he's having fun. This didn't feel like this. This felt like David Ayer maybe had some sort of practical effects for the putty patrol that looked like shit. They realized after the fact looked like shit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I agree, I agree, yeah. It's a shame too, because that kind of like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So he, one, he could have been a great joker, right? Like just a solid joker. They clearly went in a different direction. He could still be a really cool.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, so, it's weird, yeah, it's like they were like, alright, let's make a killing joke feature, and then they were like, oh god, this is only 60 pages. Like 60 pages of a graphic novel is not a feature length movie, and so they add a whole other movie at the beginning of it?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A lot of what I was thinking about is like, you know, there's so many people that are passionate about this kind of stuff, right? Comic books, movies, everything, right? People like Adam that have just like a love for some of the source material and the characters and all the different iterations of characters, seeing them transform and stuff like that. And I'm like, I just didn't get the feeling that


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] David Ayer, or not necessarily David Ayer alone, but I didn't get the feeling that he cared. I think he liked the idea of bad guys more than he liked the idea of Suicide Squad. And so he was given the option to do Bad Guys Avenger and he was like, oh sweet, I guess I should read up on these characters. I have no idea whether or not David Ayer grew up on comics or whatever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Maybe he did, but it felt like what the end product was, was something that's like, I don't necessarily care about the material, I just like the idea of making something that I wanted to make, and that's always so odd, like I always think about Bruce Tim.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And the episode of Batman the Animated Series, where they're all talking about how they all, the time they almost got Batman, right? Like, how awesome, that episode is fantastic, and it's like, all of those characters are just like, perfect. Perfect to a T. Even Batman, who's impersonating Killer Croc.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So like, all of those characters are just so perfectly in tune with it. We watched another movie this weekend, it's on Netflix, uh, The Little Prince. I saw a billboard for that, it looked adorable. Based on the children's book, which I never really- Suicide Squad.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What? Oh. It's a French, it's a French children's book, right? Very simple, like, less than a Roald Dahl in terms of its content or whatever, and it's a very surrealist kind of thing. They made a feature-length movie.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And the guy who made it, or wrote the script or whatever, I was watching it going,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He must have loved these books. He must have loved them. He probably understood, tried to understand them to the best of his ability, and he made a movie that isn't necessarily an adaptation of the book, but it's a love letter to what the books


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's like one of the things I like about them. This is, this is, I think, kind of the, it's awesome. Listen, it's awesome sharing your interests with bigger communities and stuff like Comic-Con is awesome, huge people, dressing is your favorite, characters and all kinds of stuff like that. It's so cool.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But man, it is kinda scary when they think, when everyone thinks that they should have a hand in the creative process of other things, cause like X-Men Apocalypse, a movie that for the most part I like, was riddled with that. It was riddled with fanservice, Psylocke.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Was basically just an excuse to put that comic book character in there, like it didn't count for anything. Even, there's a whole


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is, I totally agree, and this goes back to what Adam was saying about, why do I like Iron Man and Captain America so much? These are stupid dumb things. It's because they find creative individuals who are invested in character.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Combination, direction, casting, and writing, Steve Rogers is great. Tony Stark, fantastic. Could watch him all day. Chris Hemsworth as Thor is just, I never, never cared about Thor. Thor made me roll my eyes just to concept of him.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, but it's like, they invest in these directors who can build character and make you care about the character and know there's something more there. And I think that's where they're most successful. And I'll basically go back on it and say, I mean, not go back on it, but I still hold true, it's really boring.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Actually yea, wait for the director's cut. I don't know if that's going to make it better. I don't know that it didn't make Batman v Superman better. It just made it different. And kind of filled in some of the plot holes. But again, it comes down to character. And that movie didn't have great character.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, well, we still have time before we have to wrap this up. Everyone who wants to go see a great movie,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, should go see Hunt for the Wilder people. Cause it was fantastic. Amazing soundtrack, beautiful, uh, a lot of heart, great performance, uhm, it was just, just a delight to behold the whole thing. And it made me feel good. We watched it Sunday night and it just made me, like, end my weekend just feeling good. So, Adam, I'm talking to you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's ten o'clock, we gotta go. We are now at the behest of all the roosterteeth firsties out there. Firsters. First as. Don't call it firsties. My goal is not to put as many z's in that word as I possibly can. If I can make it all z's, I think that would be perfect. The fisters.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know if we should be aboveboard about our, about my secret campaign. So it's Frist and then just Fist. They're RT Fists. That's good. What? I swear that's such a good name. And then the icon can be a little fist. Oh man, yeah, fight the power. You have double gold, it's a fist, and then a little butt, and it's just getting closer and closer. You were talking about V for Vendetta, weren't you? I was, I love that movie. Now it's even more V for Vendetta.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, let's talk about it. Uh, also, can you guys please do me a favor and talk about the most interesting thing right off the top so we can name the podcast something appropriate? Sure. Geez. What are we gonna talk about? What's the most interesting thing? I got a haircut.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh really? Yeah. God damn it, I went all the way over there to the awesome place with the old men that cut your hair and don't give a fuck about anything. And just cash only, baby. And the entire strip was out of power. So there was like a note taped up on the door. Even the vegan joint? What was it?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And you can go to audible.com slash dudesoup today to start your free 30 day trial. We'll get a longer sales pitch about them later.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, for, for fellow vlog growers, so they can all vlog and somehow make a living being an influencer. Who? Not the green specifically, it's just that seems to be what the entire convention is about. It's about having a ring light in front of your face at all times. Having awesome floppy hair that may be a strange color. Wearing some kind of hat that is not, uh, not chronologically appropriate.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, wearing a tank top maybe, maybe also wearing overalls, and then just talking about your life and how excited you are to share everything with everyone around you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's the thing that really unsettled me about VidCon. It was thoroughly uncomfortable for me to be there because of that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, there's this, there's this tone that it's all family friendly and it's all clean and innocent. And look, it's just everybody sharing and collaborating and making the world a better place. Except every...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's not what they want to believe. Yeah, you're right about that. They want the brand to say. Taco Bell was there. A lot of big brands were there, which I think is important. You know, you won't...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know, it's just like, it couldn't be more different than RTX, essentially. To me, RTX is authentic on top of authentic. And that's what I like about it. There's no level of pretense there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I feel like now it's, yeaah, it's appropriate for one to thank any sponsor that would sponsor this podcast. And for two to also celebrate the noble efforts of everyone at Rooster Teeth for arranging those sponsors for us. Because I can only imagine, it is, having worked at companies that refuse to message anything, uh, it is, it is a fine, it is a fine thing to have, uh, sales


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Be on your side, and say like, this is the content, this is what you're buying into, and we're not gonna change it, because it works because of these things, so you just kinda have to get used to that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What? I mean, I don't know. I'm sure it's terrible, I just never been.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You gotta kill him! So it's, it's, when you're boosting through things, you pick up power-ups. I'm sure you've noticed those little icons above your head. Some of them allow your bullets to pierce, and I think the idea is that if you had maintained your combo through the last couple of waves, you would have had that piercing power-up. Sorry, the answer is fuck you. No, but this is, this is what people were talking about.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So actually, I've been watching Anne's. I get it. The level is designed that there are like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, boy, I had a number of negative experiences, none of which I can-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Let me, let me run down, uh, my laments for you, Adam, since you asked. Yeah, yeah. I would love to know. Okay, so it started, uh, got to the con, had about 25-30 minutes to get my badge and get to my first panel.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That I was speaking on, which, which was lovely by the way, uhm. Hey, you're on there with Boogie? Yeah, Boogie's cool, Ashkali Eskeda, I hope I said that name right. Uh, great moderator, uhm, actually had some really good points too. I need to, I need to, I need to follow more of her, her speaking. That was uh, Justine's sister, right? Yeah, just, is it? Just leave it on the pod. I thought so. I don't know, I genuinely don't know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, re-regardless, so I got to the con, had about 25 minutes, and I'm, I'm stomping on in there, uh, going to where the email told me to go, uh, to pick up my badge, and then a security dude was like, hey, you don't have your badge yet, and I was like, yeah, I'm gonna go get it, and he's like, oh no, you don't go this way.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's like you gotta go around, cause there was, so essentially going into the center, they carved out the entire middle strip.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] For like a, a stage for five year olds to sing on which at best had maybe four people standing in front of it at any time. There was the like food truck row. So essentially they made this, they made this area you had to be registered to get into right down the middle of the main drag going into the convention center.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I was walking down the wrong side of that drag, and one of the, well, wrong, it ended up being the right one, but one of the security guys was like, hey, uh, I'm just telling, just letting you know, you can keep walking that way, but it's a dead end unless you have a badge. You have to go all the way around and back the other side.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't care, this is more of a time issue at this point. So I'm walking in there, I have like 15 minutes left, I'm like, okay, this might be a little tight, but I think I can handle it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're not here. I was like, yeah, but I can, I mean, I have a driver's license with my name on it and my name's on the panel. Is there any chance you can just like see those two things, make a connection and just give me a badge? And she was like, no, okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So she was like, well, there's one other place you can try. And I was like, that's not good. Panel starts in 10 minutes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And she's like, oh, it's on the fourth floor of this hotel that, by the way, is all the way back from where you came. It's like, ugh. And that was it. So I was like, okay, good, I guess I'll just walk back over there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We got there. I have a couple follow-ups.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Bruce told me where to go. The guy wasn't there. That guy wasn't there anymore. So, uh, Bruce was like, you have to go under this, under this booth, talk to a guy with a laptop. And there was no guy with a laptop. And then, and like, it was just not there. And everyone there was kind of stonewalling me, uh, at that point. So I was like, fuck it. These guys are clearly just not gonna like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do me any favors, uh, because they're, they're, they have marching orders or something. So yeaah, I, I had to follow what they did. I went to the hotel, and then once I wa- I had to tell three


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Something like that. Uh, so. You fit the profile. I, I get through all of the hotel guards that all, all side eye me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then I'm standing in line, and finally there's a guy with a laptop, and I'm like, oh it's him!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, and then I wait there, and then the guy with the laptop's like, oh yea, you're a feature creator. You gotta go up four floors. What? What?!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, or wait, first of all, there was another registration room to the side that had each individual partner there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, went up four floors, went to a room, finally got my badge, lady who was very kind was like, oh you have a goodie bag too, and I was like, I don't want it. Uh. You got a goodie bag? I guess, they had goodie bags for everybody. You didn't get a good bag, huh? You didn't get shit. Whatever. He squandered it. It's just a fucking logo tee and, and like a lot of promo codes for things we'll never use.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, so yeaah, after I finally got my badge, I was already 15 minutes late, and I had to like bust ass to my con, or to my panel, and then flopped out on stage. LawrenceCon. Said like three things.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Why do they have two, why do they have three different registrations that are separated by the entire convention? I have a, I have a counter for all of this. Go ahead.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's the secret, you can talk to most kids like they're adults. Absolutely you can.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I like it actually, but I can understand why it's not fun for most of the human race. I get it, I get what they're going for. Yeah, Mighty No. go fuck yourself. It's a slippery game. Speaking of slippery. Bring back Mighty No. 2.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You can get many fine slippery meals. No, for some reason slippery just made me think of like raw chicken breasts. I don't know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because I'm thinking about food, blue apron, that's where I'm going with this. Anyway, remember that first time- so let-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] As a discussion topic to force a segue, okay? Do you remember the first time you touched raw meat? Yes. Yeah. See, it's weird, right? It's weird. Shit sticks with you. Yeah, it's super weird. And it kinda snaps me back there anytime I work with like food. No, just me. The first time you dig your hands into a fucking vat of raw chicken breast. I never touched my food. Never? No. Oh, that's right. You just have it prepared in the hermetically sealed.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, if you'd like to take control over your diet, uh, and the food that you eat, uh, we suggest Blue Apron, or at least I do. I've been using it for about a month now and fuck it's awesome.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, and because I like reading, I like reading the names of foods, I'm going to do that now. So here are some selections, uh, from recipes that are shipped out to Blue Apron members this week. Italian style cheeseburgers with crispy potatoes, crispy fried chicken with creamy slaw and buttermilk biscuits. Cool, oh boy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cool Cavatappi pesto pasta with arugula pesto and fresh mozzarella.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, if you're maybe living on your own for the first time if you're in college or maybe just a recent graduate, one of those, it's one of those things that


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, but yea, if you'd like to get your diet in check and learn about cooking in the process, uh, Blue Apron's fantastic in that regard. Uh, please go to blueapron.com slash soup to check out this week's menu and get two meals free with free shipping.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, that's blueapron.com slash soup. Uh, better way to cook, they say. I would agree. Because cooking old school sucks, man. Going to the grocery store, seeing people in general, just other human beings.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, you got a whole bag of potatoes left. What am I going to do with these fucking potatoes? They sent me one potato. Actually, my, so because of all the events, one of my blue airplane potatoes went bad, so I had to go to the grocery store and buy one potato. Just staring at the cashier. One potato please.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Will kill me. It's your fault. But only if it goes in my mouth. Everywhere else is fine. Oh gosh. I've had many instances, specifically in LA.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] See that? Combos for days, anyway. Uh, so, uh, I don't know if this is really gonna parley in a conversation, it doesn't have to. Okay. But I read an interesting passage on the internet the other day. In the Bible? I'd like to share that with you gentlemen. Okay. A passage about a good friend of mine. Uh, Our Lord and Savior Hideki Kamiya.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They just didn't like her. But, but, cause like her body shape was kinda strange, she's really tall and lanky, but also very hip, I don't know. Uh, he, he went on and on about how like, the deep well, you know, it's the internet.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He did say something about boss battles, which is something that doesn't really happen in games anymore, or at least western developers don't really use them. Uh, so...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So they keep that going all the way across, and occasionally they can do something really cool.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But when you look at our E3 thing, we kind of try to frame the fact that we're twisting you. So Drew walks up and says, wonderful. And you're like, well, why is he saying wonderful?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's almost done. Uh, but they Western developers- He's like running out of characters. Wouldn't want to do that because how does this 80 bazillion times bigger thing get in this cave? Where does this scorpion live?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know, I thought it was interesting, we don't really have to talk about it, but it did kind of highlight to me what is emerging as the big difference between Japanese-developed and Western-developed games. Well, I wasn't saying necessarily games either. It could be anything.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's always a balancing act and, and sometimes that...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That, uh, fucking shit, man. Holy balls. Sorry. Anyway, sometimes, sometimes that, uh, that dividing line can get hard. Because, eh, you know, since we live in a capitalist society, shit needs to make money. Yep. Uhm, and then there's always that trade-off. I, I always remember eternally the, the ending of I Am Legend.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Looks like he's stunned, anyway. Uh, he goes and finds some kind of like, Christian settlement somewhere. Where, you know, people live, live down home and...