[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sort of an attack? I don't really know what he was. He was DPS though. He was pretty much DPS.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Let's have something to show while they're making something else, maybe?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, we probably will play it though. So that'll be fun.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm really bad at Overwatch, so that was my whole life playing that game, really. Fucking terrible at it. Always have been.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I still play it once in a while. There's some games that I'm just not good at, and then some that I am. Like, I don't- I never really know until I play it. Like, we played Battalion this week, and I'm fucking terrible at it. And I was like, I've never been good at COD. Don't know why, can't do it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You were very good at it. But see, I was always really good at Rainbow Six. Like I was really good at Rainbow Six Vegas. Terrible at Cod.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think it's better on, like, gizable. I prefer it. Sure. Something that snaps for you. Halo, because I'm used to it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] At this point I kind of am too actually. But I think like I'm comfortable enough with Halo and console that it's fine with me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I tried, I just finished Titanfall 2 in January, and uhm, I tried on console and I was like, uuuh, like Doom's the same.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Anyway, we are out of time. I just also want to really quickly mention that, uh, good timing, Omar. Uh, I played Final Fantasy VII.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it looks great and it's kind of an interesting mashup of Final Fantasy 7, Final Fantasy 15 and Final Fantasy 13 in a way that you'll still feel the nostalgia and they still made it feel like 7 in a lot of ways but it's modernized in a really smart way that it doesn't take away from your nostalgia but it doesn't feel like a completely old game. So I think they mixed it really well.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So no one saw Ghost of Tsushima, I know that much. Gotcha. Uhm, there were like three people at E3. I don't know that anyone actually saw games. I think that they just had meetings.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No one's seen The Lost of Us. No one's seen Ghost of Tsushima. If anything, I would guess it's Death Stranding. But I can't confirm.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We'll find out next time. Maybe. I have one more ad read that I have to do. Before I'm allowed to let you go. Uh, upstart!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, most of us have found out the hard way. Getting into debt is very easy and getting out of debt is very hard, especially if your FICO score isn't great. Thankfully now there's upstart.com, the revolutionary lending platform that knows you're more than just your credit score and offers smarter interest rates to help you pay off high interest credit card


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Which is honestly something that I would have found really handy, not that I've ever had debt, but Upstart can do a lot for getting people who don't have a credit rating at all, uh, sort of into having a credit rating, because when you move from another country, you don't have a credit rating, and it was really hard for me to even rent in the beginning, so knowing about something like this would be really handy, uhm, handy for anyone who's worried about their credit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Upstart goes beyond the traditional FICO score when assessing your credit worthiness. They actually reward you based on your education and job history as well in the form of a smarter interest rate. Upstart believes you're more than just your credit score. They believe in you and they understand that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They make it fast, simple, and easy to check your rate in just a few minutes without affecting your credit score. And the best part, once the loan is approved, most people get their funds the very next business day. The next day, that's done.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, over 200,000 people have used Upstart to pay off credit cards, student loans, fund their wedding, or make a large purchase. Free yourself from the burden of high interest credit card debt by consolidating everything into one monthly payment with Upstart.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] See why Upstart is ranked number one in their category with over 300 businesses on TrustPilot and hurry to upstart.com slash dude to find out how low your upstart rate is. Checking your rate only takes a few minutes and won't affect your credit. That's upstart.com slash dude, hurry to upstart.com slash dude to find out how low your upstart rate is.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And that is it for this week's episode of Dude Soup, everyone. Uh, we got through a fair amount of video games and some other stuff that we didn't get to talk about, but, eh, tweet at us or whatever, and we'll tell you what we thought.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cool. The one game I really wanted to play that I didn't get to was Man of Medan, I think it's called, or Medan, uh, which is the new Supermassive game.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, from the Until Dawn guys, that's not super massive.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Holy crap. That's what I'm getting confused with. What's that studio? That's Supergiant. That's what I was confused with. It was like, Supermassive is Until Dawn and Man of Medan and Man of Medan or Medan is like the first spinoff of a series of like episodic type things they're making and that sounded really cool.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, Bastion, uh, Transistor, Pyre, Pyre. I loved Pyre, actually. That one I feel like was less popular, but. Sorry. Have you played Transistor?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh well, you have to- I reviewed that game so I had to get through it, but I know like my first five hours I was like-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh wow. We did a gameplay of it when everyone was out shooting for Arizona Cycle. It was like me and Jacob and I don't remember who else was in that gameplay, but it was good. Game is great, super fun, and very good Switch game.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] As a reference point, I have apples that I've left in my fridge for months and they look exactly like they did when I bought them. So this might have been in the fridge for seven years.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's why when you choke yourself, your dick grows.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you're not familiar with what dubstep is, it was popular in 2012.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I have a question. What do you guys think about the Borderlands franchise in general?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, and there's like a black stroke around everything. It was, I, one of the, uh, one of the heroes is in, is a grey-haired man who looks very young and hot. So, and I was wondering if, when they put, if they put wrinkles on his face, if he just looked all, like, he had too many black cell-shaded lines and he just looked all weird.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm also excited, uh, in the trailer when they said all your friends are back, uh, and I thought all the people that I could not stand talking. Tiny Tina.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think it will be bought by some people and played once and then never talked about again. But they will enjoy it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] For now, I guess that's kinda like the one thing that is kind of universal. Just like, what?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So basically, they're up in a kite, and then they fly down and they hit you. And during my personal playthrough, I was like looking some other way, so I just erred it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Can I say, your hair is looking hot as fuck. Is that sponsor friendly?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I have one of those shower hair catchers and I have trouble cleaning my own hair out of it. Like, I just do not like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You hate wet hair? Wet hair, pickled hair, like the picture that, uh, you showed. And hair in food situations, the feeling of a hair in my throat is like, the worst. That's a hairy man. Oh, the back is shattered.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, uh, there are a number of panels on, uh, mental health in, uh, in games.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It stands, it stands for Game Developers Conference. So it is a Game Developers Conference called Game Developers Conference.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Mental health. There were a few panels on that and it was pretty interesting. They were showing good examples of it and bad examples. Well, I guess they actually didn't touch on bad examples, but they showed a lot of good examples of like how to do it appropriately and not, you know, fuck it up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes. She's Australian? Yeah, well, British, but. British, but she's in Australia. Yes, I did go to that. Uh, she was cool. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't understand accents, you know, anything non-American is like. The most interesting one was Into the Breach post-mortem. They call them post-mortems, it's like when a game is done and they just look back on the development.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, because basically they had the game pretty much made.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When you design, or when you figure out your, like, design, uh, elements, or like the key design points, having that instead of creating design around it, uh, following that design instead, so like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, and then everything you want to add and everything you want to do in your game should relate back to those key like design features and if they don't, why is it in your game?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I learned that with YouTube comments because I'll be like, oh, I like, how do I feel about this joke or like about this video and then you go on and it's like the entire spectrum of opinions that could that like be reacted to and it's like, okay, well.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So apart from the panels or sessions or whatever they call them, those are all great. I think Monday and Tuesday.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I sat in like nine, like I was there the whole day from the first session all through, uh, and then Wednesday through Friday is when they open the Explo floor, uhm, and


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] On Tuesday night, I went to the Discord party, uh, because someone that Stephanie knew from Twitch was leaving as we were going in, and so they like, it was these like cloth wristbands with little like, things that you can't widen it out. Stephanie's my girlfriend by the way, she's thrown out there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, Stephanie's great. They dislocated their wrist and pulled it off and then I shoved it on and it was stuck like right at my thumb knuckle for about 20 minutes and all of my fingers turned super red. But then I finally got it on.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, and so I went in there, uh, and I met a bunch of gaming people, cause Stephanie knows everybody.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Heard their, er, was told their names, did not hear their names, uh, because it was so loud.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, but so, I mean I've, I've talked about this on my, uh, Twitch stuff, but I, I am looking to eventually start making games someday. Uh, and that's kind of part of the reason why I wanted to go to this. Uh, and so on Monday and Tuesday hearing all these smart people talk and everything,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So inspired. Uh, and then on Wednesday, the expo floor open and you go down and, uh, there's just like rows and rows of computers with a developer standing next to it with their indie game being like, please play my game.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it was like, oh wow, so many games exist already and so many games are coming out and how many of these, how many of them like, spend a bunch of money on a booth and then are like not going to make their numbers.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You really do. So it was like, it was at first very inspiring and then very intimidating.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] All the, all the big people were there, uhm, or all the big companies were there. Like, I guess PlayStation and Xbox, they just had a bunch of couches with screens of different games that were coming out. But, like, Epic was there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And they had a screen with a guy at a podium showing you how to do like shaders in, in, uh, Unreal and things like that. And there are all these, and there was like two people sitting there listening and he had one of those headsets on and was teaching and like there, yeah, there was a lot of learning experiences where it was all these big companies. Like educating people rather than being like buy my


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So it was basically divided in half, on one side was all the huge companies, and on the other side was all these individual, like, game booths. So there was the indie mega booth, but then the rest of that side was just like, big anime poster, uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alt control, it's like GDC alt control, it's a little area where it's games that use, uh, weird control, like they, it's not used by controllers, so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] One was, uh, Guitar Wizards, and it was two Guitar Hero guitars on either side of this like light panel that, depending on what combination of buttons you hit, it would send


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, there was another one where you climbed up a thing by just like spinning a rope.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But yeaah, it was really interesting just to see all the creativity and everything.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Very inspired, uh, but I also came back and developed conflu, like immediately. I've been sick all week. Well, in the beginning of the, like Sunday through Tuesday. Uhm, but yeaah, and Sekiro. So I haven't, I haven't, I came back inspired. I have not used that inspiration for anything good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When I discovered GDC's YouTube, like a year ago, and then started watching all that stuff, that's kind of when I developed my eyes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] To like, if you're like, I don't like this. To know why you don't like it. And you'd be like, this is what it's lacking.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm the worst at that. Whenever I try to explain something, it turns into like, it takes at least six paragraphs for me to explain what.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I always thought it'd be cool if there was like a metroidvania street fighter game. Or like, if it was, if you fought like street fighter, but it was like a side scrolling explorative.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Have you seen this pattern on this table? I have. We should have a camera that's just a close up. Have I cursed yet? No. No. Okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I didn't know that. I didn't think about the fact that you had to chug. You don't have to chug. Should they make them smaller?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's like city phone etiquette that used to exist back when I lived in San Francisco in 2012 where


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you took out your phone, you'd step to the side and look at your phone. Whereas now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Literally everyone is walking like this and bumping into each other and walking out onto the street. It was absurd.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Or is it, do they say no while giggling and going.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's this really cool, uh, like, doc short. What is it? It's a 10 minute.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] animation thing. It was made in like 2009 by this Japanese motion design student and it's called Japan the Weird Country and there was a Japanese version and an English version and the government of Japan actually made him remove the English version because it's basically


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] All of the like crazy dark shit about Japan with like statistics in, uh, like, you know, cause it was like 2009 as the-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, but yeaah, it, it doesn't, it doesn't exist on his Vimeo anymore, but if you search Japan the Weird Country on YouTube, someone ripped it at some point like 10 years ago.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You'd probably need part of that $19,000 to like go to rehab afterwards, right? For sure.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So you're, oh my god. So your legs are up in the air and your head's down the whole time? That does not sound fun. I mean, I thought I just got to play video games for two months.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you, uh, like wanted to hang out with, if you like had a rapport with one of the other people, could you like roll over to their bed and like hang out with them, maybe play some cards?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Without, I mean, I guess, yea, I guess you can have sex. Like, without one person being on top and sitting up, like, you both have to remain laying down. You can have spooning sex. Yea, spooning sex.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Probably just wipes. Sponge bath. Yeah. It's part of the sex. Yep. John's right.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause I know that, uh, this, uh, guy who came to my school in high school cause he was sitting in a yellow VW bug and wasn't wearing a seatbelt and it rolled. He had a real talk to you?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, and he was in a wheelchair and he came in and he described everything. Yeah, but no, it really was that. He's like, you think, I mean it, you know, it worked because it's like, oh shit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But yeah, he went on and on about how he's like, sometimes like my bowel movements are scheduled and we know when they're going to happen. So we're always home when it's supposed to happen, but sometimes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's not on the schedule and someone will just smell something and then all go, I must have shit myself because I can't feel anything down there, but I can smell it. It was like, holy shit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And there was 400 kids at my school while just sitting there, like, listening to this guy. It's like, alright, I think I'm gonna wear my seatbelt.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] These are my notes from GDC. I forgot to bring them out when we were talking about GDC. I have, uh, notes on Curves Revisited!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, that's right! You gotta lerp the lerp. You said there was a- Quadratic Bezier Curves. There's new math. Bezier is pretty- Yea.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, but it's just more health. So it's just like I hit him more times. You don't know that? I don't understand.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I found that I might have schizophrenia because my handwriting changes like by the page.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, multiple- I don't friggin' know. Uh, but yeaah, I do not have a, uh, consistent handwriting style.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Possessed by the power of inspiration. One thing that I will take from this is, see I drew a little circle here. Here's a circle that says comfort zone.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's just not overlapping. So you gotta get out of that comfort zone to make some magic happen.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's why I lived in a truck for two months. In Oakland.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Them have done studies, uh, that basically the more you travel, the like more empathetic you are and the smarter you are. The less racist you are. It just makes you like a better human basically to travel around and see the world from different world views.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, in Uganda, uh, you can buy Valium in like giant boxes, like 100 packs for like 10, 20 bucks. Yeah, when I went to Thailand I bought a bunch of-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was like 20 and, uh, we just bought him for a bus ride. I didn't actually know what Valium was at the time. You went to Uganda? Yea. I wouldn't recommend that, uh, to buy a large amount of Valium. Also don't overuse antibiotics.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] One time, uh, I started drinking in Portugal and I woke up in Germany.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That, that actually reminds me of another travel story which is, uh, when I went to Uganda the second time, uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Which is like the main city we got in our apartment and then we're like, all right, let's like hit the town. So we got in a taxi and like as we parked, uh, or as we were getting dropped off, uh, we went to get out and the guy turns and he goes, eh, your Michael Jackson is dead.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's like the cruise moms. What? The animators moms, like the cruise moms.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The best he can be! Yeaah! What Jeff isn't saying is we tested a ton of focus groups on this design.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We didn't, we didn't do this without any, you know, reason, I guess.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I should have just taken the plot of Speed Racer and made it into Sonic.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I just wanna live in the alternate universe where that's the design that was in the trailer and people still shit all over it and were pissed off.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Jim Carrey I think actually seems really fun as Dr. Robotnik. Yeah, he's going back to his


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Maybe there was one designer, pardon me, I guess animator that was really upset about how he looked and now he's, he's happy. Oh sure.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was trying to find the silver lining of these people being enslaved for the next six months.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, we're gonna see, we're gonna do a film house on it and I will expense the ticket.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If they're sued by one person and it's public and they're sued again later, that means that that second lawsuit can point to the previous lawsuit as precedence in their case and they clearly don't want that. I think it, I think this is not uncommon for companies to make their employees, you know, do this, but I don't think that makes it right.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Five people dived to have that job.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, I mean- Well, it's like, maybe it's a snake eating its tail, like why are they flush with cash? Oh, it's because they're exploiting their employees, they're cultivating a work culture where they want their employees to be there around the clock, so they're giving them this like, great oasis that you can come and live in this office, but you're living in that office. And it's just like-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're still condoning, like, by letting that person keep their job, you're saying that it's okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But it's so weird, like I don't know what happened, what the fuck went down at Riot that they have this degree of sexist culture, or I guess an abundance, or people are


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Really that, uh, affected by it, that they're vocalizing it and walking out, cause like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was just gonna say, I do think like it is a company that has made moves to like bring women into their workforce.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, years ago, a friend of mine, uh, tried hiring me at Riot. I know what you're thinking. Elise Willems, employable at Riot? It was for like a scheduling position. It wasn't a creative position. It was a purely non-creative position, which is why I was not interested.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But, uh, so it did seem like they, like, and he even said like, well, you know, we want to get more women in the company, and this would have been like, four years ago.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I still think like, there's a right masculinity that's not toxic, like if men want to embrace their masculine signs, you know?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When I thought about Nintendo Land, I was like, oh, they could do a Luigi's Mansion. That's like a haunted mansion sort of thing. They could do a Mario Kart thing where you're in like the carts and it's...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's a difference. I read Lincoln and the Bardo a few months ago and now all I can think about is his like son that died and how he kept digging him up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He had a son that died and then they like put him in a mausoleum and then Lincoln would keep going and being like, take him out, I wanna see him.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] She said he hates yes men, except he surrounds himself with yes men.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's false or it's one of these supposed new ones that you added.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So. Is one of those ones where it's like he only ate nine? Yes, he did. The tweet did say that he stood in front of a party and said that he loved snow cones, but I don't recall him eating ten. Did you make up the ten part?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You woke me up last time you said it. I think we need something more.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They did Tearaway, not LittleBigPlanet 3. They did Tearaway on Fido, which was also awesome. Very good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It has a campaign that has three separate stories looped into one. There's like an action adventure where you're two kids who have a dragon type thing. Uh, there's one that is sort of a dark comedy noir point and click adventure that's really cool. And the third one I didn't see very much of, but they all interweave and that's still a full campaign.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The entire Dreams campaign was made in Dreams. Yeah, okay, yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, Dreams is crazy. Uh, I started for the first time in 2015 and I've seen it every year since.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, and every time to meet a molecule, I've always been like, can I do this? Can I do this? Can I do this? And they're always like, oh yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've never had a question that I've asked that team that they've ever said no to. Like I'm always like, but what if, what if I made this happen? And they're like, oh cool, let's show you. And it's, it's crazy. You can make a full song and then you can pair that song to a platform game where you would have to jump in time with a beat. Like it's very hard to comprehend.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But yeah, I'm really excited about it and really excited about one particular feature, which is, uh, you can follow certain creators and like we could all have a link that we would share, like a tiny URL.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think that probably will happen a few times a year, you're right, calling it a console is totally fair.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You can also make movies, like you can make short stories, you can kind of do whatever, and one of my favorites that I played, uh, at I think PSX maybe a couple years ago was just basically a short story that was just, you'd be on this giant platform.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Has a message that's like, oh, this is really sad and profound. It's like, it's just kinda nice. Devs made that one though, I think. So the dev team has also made all their own games inside of Dream.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It is, uh, basically Mojang got to choose who is part of the Minecraft program, so they like curate their creators, put them in a store, and then you buy it. I don't know if it's on Xbox as well, but they fully had all of it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They do have, uh, I don't remember exactly how this works, but Dreams does have the ability for you to have roles. Like you can make a game and assign someone as like your audio engineer and they're controlling all the audio. And you have like this group of people who are a team of devs. Like it actually works that way, so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The one thing that makes me think that it'll never, you know, be a problem for devs is that Project Spark existed. That's right. Didn't really take off that way, and it did. And it's cool, and things like DeviantArt exist, like Dreams was described to me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] By a PR person who was like, never tell anyone I said this to you, but here I am.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] As, uh, Deviant Awe mixed with Facebook mixed with crack.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because it is a social network where you can follow someone who makes a certain type of game or a curator or maybe they make really cool trees and you just want to use that tree library. Uhm, but you can make the craziest stuff. So it's a social network that is also just for people to create art. And people are still creating art for free on DeviantArt. So I imagine that it's just going to be communities constantly creating free stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think probably just gotta do one step at a time. Like Minecraft only just did that maybe a year and a half ago.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Took a really long time. Uh, one thing that they did say back in 2015 when I first saw Dreams that you could do that I don't know if you could still do is you could create something and then pay to have it like 3D printed. So you could like create a sculpture and then you would just pay and order it kind of like you do with Jackbox on the t-shirt game. So it's potentially merch, it just could be through the store if they're still planning to do that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What do they do about fan art? Cause it's what it is. Dreams is fan art.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's always gonna look like dreams, uh, because the way the toolkit works is, it's always gonna have the shapes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They had a music concert in Dreams where they did have musicians play different instruments, but like through the characters in Dreams. That's what they did at E3. But for the press conference, that just looked like two second chunks of things because they chewed it to everyone at the end. It was like, why are you choosing to lock this game this way, Sony? What are you doing?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think a lot of it with Dreams will be media, honestly, and social media will be what gets it, cause it's a little bit planted, I feel like social media wasn't quite as big when the first game came out. And it'll be a lot of like the Dead Space thing, like the PT thing, it'll be people sharing something and being like, this game is incredible, you have to play it. That's probably how we'll find most. Or really good curators.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] One thing that's really cool about it is that this could be a very good way for people who want to get into game development to show a portfolio. Like if you want to be a narrative designer in a game, you could write a video game in Dreams and show that to whoever you're applying to next. Like it could be a really good way to get new devs into the spotlight.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You can make movies and stuff in Dreams too, you can make a TV show if you wanted.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Nobody will hug him. It's just so, it's a cute short story that couldn't exist in any other platform and you would never pay for it individually. And it means more when you're playing it than when you're watching it and I think that that is just a really cool thing you can do in Dreams and you can't do it anymore.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I did uh, I did zero g in one of those planes once. Oh, did you? You like, you know, parabolic flight, um, and that's really hard to even stay still because you touch one thing and then you just float to the other side and you're like trying to hold onto it and you just keep bouncing around.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] See, that's why I'm not a model, I just wasn't built for it, you know? It's not my fault. Same. Same with me, yeah. Same with me. I could've been an actor. I could've, I could've been great.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I have a real problem of donating to every single GoFundMe of a sick person that I ever see.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hey, you don't have to say all the mean things that come to mind. I hope your day gets better and they be like, you're right, I'm sorry. And it happened quite a few times. Someone said they were gonna rape me with a cactus.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's, that's double-sided though, because funerals are helpful for the people who attend. They are. Fuck them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, that's true. Yeah. Sure. That's the thing you pointed out. Look at that. Congratulations.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm gonna say this one's also real.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] E3 is just two weeks away, so we thought we would spend a whole hour, maybe also talking about Elise's total, but otherwise talking about the biggest rumors and predictions for E3 2019, and also Cyberpunk, because of course, welcome to this video gamey episode of Dudesuit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] First up, I have to say thank you to Mint Mobile, CandidCo, and Eero for sponsoring this podcast. We will hear more from them later. But before we get to Cyberwatch, which we're gonna open up with, Elise, you wanted to talk about a title?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So it was announced, CD Projekt Red came out and said that they will have another hour-long demo of Cyberpunk at E3. It is not playable, but it is open to the public for the first time. People were very upset last year that it wasn't open to the public.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, but they couldn't see it at E3, right? Okay. I didn't get it on time! You got it, fine.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Gross. Because of this, people are talking about if we still think the game is going to come out in 2019.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Now, the fact that it's not playable would lead me to think, hell no.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, our Red Dead 2 demo, like, our preview of that was very guided, because they dropped us, like, maybe chapter 2, I think, in the game, so it's a little bit true. After the train robbery sort of thing, yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, I definitely thought that with the way that, cause Witcher 3 was one of the games where the people were mad that the trailer looked better than the game when it came out. And of course things get adjusted. It was a huge thing with Spider-Man. And you see people say that stuff and then you wonder why they don't let you play it. It's because they don't think that you'll forgive them or you'll think a complete product is even if it says alpha really big in the bottom. Like I get that that's a marketing nightmare.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So we're talking about it coming out this year. Territory Studio, who's the company that created the logo, uh, actually reddit found out that they deleted their post about the game coming out in 2019. So that indicates that they know something. I don't think it was ever 2019.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How would that be if Deck is 10? I don't know what 20 is. Who punches Deck? Vent?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And what? What would the month be? You know, if like it's- Yeah. Well, June, July, August don't count because the Romans destroyed- It's techuary.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, and they have, and like I heard some stuff that, I don't know if this is true, but like part of people were saying, uhm, the reason that it doesn't have third person was because they just didn't have time. It would like add on an extra huge wad of time for them to animate that, so they kept it first person. It's like a bunch of stuff that makes it seem like they are trying to meet a deadline, but it's not like they're just doing like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We know a lot of the video hasn't been recorded, I think they only really recently in the last couple of months cast the leads.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's such an ambitious game, and I feel like when I saw it last year, I did not think it would be current gen. I was like, I can't picture this running on an Xbox One and a PS4.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is anyone even playing Sekiro? Yea. I'm at that pop.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, I got through it, but then I just got to the end part, and there's this thing that moves, and I saw it, and I was like, that thing's gonna fucking move. It's a statue that moves. But only if you stand on the platform that it's on. And if you get off the platform, it goes back to where it was. So I just like, never really go on the platform, and I'm like, what's gonna happen if I stand on the platform? Anyway.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Very spooky. That's pretty cool though. It was really cool because I walked into that room and there's like three monks just praying and I was like nope.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, there's a chance we could see FromSoft at Microsoft Conference. I think there's just a lot of stuff that might be missing because of Sony. Obviously, we're not gonna see Bloodborne 2 this year. Sorry, folks.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Blow it up, they will never just like, give you a little bit. So, I would say no.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right now Death Stranding goes to Tsushima and the loss is 2. Done. That's it for this channel.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I guess they don't count Apex Legends as the Titanfall universe, because even though it was a spinoff that developed into something else, it isn't part of the Titanfall universe.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We're also expecting to see more Dragon Age, because we know that game exists, but not sure what we'll see. Oh, there's no way it's visible. And then there's Skatefall and Dead Space. What's Motive working on? Don't think we'll see any of that stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, like, the thing about Dead Space that gets me is they have the Star Wars license. Imagine a Dead Space Star Wars game.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, I absolutely would blame Disney for that campaign and not the studio for that campaign. That was 100% Disney being like, nope.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, well she is under NDA, but it does expire. And I'm not sure when, but I know her NDA has an expiry date.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Thank you to Mint Mobile, sponsoring this week's episode of DudeSoup. Uh, there are a lot of things in life that aren't right. Cop it in showers. Eating dip with your fingers, which I have kind of done.


[User] Please transcribe this text

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[User] Please transcribe this text

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[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, so next up is Microsoft. That's actually our first press conference this year. Yeah, it's the biggest one. June 9th, 1pm. Yeah, they have so much to prove. They're swooping it. Yeah, I love it. I love it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think so, which is what we've always wanted from them. Less of like, but T all in one living reconnect. Like, what if we just got games?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm weirdly excited about this one, I think because it isn't a six, you know? Like, it feels like a reboot, and thus I'm excited about it. I think they know they fucked up. Absolutely.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, opens with a shot of Master Chief and his arm is different and whatever and he picks a different helmet.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, to me, it sounded more like a, yeah, it's like Destiny, which is kind of what people have been hypothesizing, but, uh, I've heard that it's not playable. Uhm, still. That was implied, but not told to me, so I'm not 100% sure. So, Adam, I'm curious.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because we've been with him for such a long time, you still have an attachment to him.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like even if he isn't really a character, I'm like, yeah, I've been with him with John for a decade at least, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It sounds like uh, Bonnie Ross said they're calling it a spiritual reboot. Halo Infinite is a spiritual reboot.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] People didn't seem mad about Revengeance. It's a Metal Gear. That's true.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Gears, uh, swapped to JD and now Kate. Like, they've done it okay. Well, people don't matter about Kate, but that's because she's woman. So that's a little different.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A lot of what 343 has said is, is, uh, we're aware that we've made mistakes and we're listening to the community and we've redone things. And I actually believe them. Like I feel like most of the time when devs say that or publishers say that, I'm like, sure you have, you're listening. But they, they took, they extended it a year and seemed to completely change the game because of that stuff, so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It is a motorsport year, but then Playground is working on an open world action RPG, which I'm really hoping is fable.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That laptop gun where you could like throw it on the wall and it would turn into a turret and it was that one, yea, the one where you could shoot through the walls.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But, uh, of the first party studios, uh, I think we probably will see some state of decay to, like, DLC. Oh yea, Gears 5. What's the name? Well, for sure, C. Gears 5. What's the name of the studio that was working on, um, I've just forgotten everything. Every what? You haven't remembered a thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, so we could see something from Ninja Theory, that would be awesome, and I'll always be excited about their games, especially if they continue to, under Xbox, make games like Hellblade, uh, that are, even like, enslaved, it's not that long, just like, small and contained games that they just release once a year, and like, down.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We know that. Yeah, that is known. The Mafia 3 kinda fell apart because they pulled some of them off to work on a Bioshock project.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Look, I saw a trailer. And it was very broken. And like, it was incomplete. I can't believe they didn't make me sign an NDA, but out of respect, I'm just not talking about that game.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But yes, Metal Gear would be great. You know what else is great?


[User] Please transcribe this text

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[User] Please transcribe this text

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[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It also costs 65% less than braces, which means you can save thousands of dollars. So basically,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just use our dedicated link, which is candidco.com slash dude to learn more.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Look, I didn't put Devolver in here because I have no idea what we're gonna see from Devolver or PC.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, so that's what I was going to jump to next is because Microsoft's conference is June 9, 1pm PT and then Bethesda is June 9, 5.30pm PT, so, uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Nintendo's direct is always Tuesday morning. So Bethesda, we're probably gonna see Elder Scrolls Online, Doom, Wolfenstein, and I'm guessing Fallout 76. We know we won't see more about New Elder Scrolls or Starfield after that slight tease last year. That's all we're getting?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I love Dishonored, so I'd be happy to have more Dishonored personally.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, probably. But that game's coming out in July? It's very soon, whenever it is. Uh, so I, I, well, we'll see more of it for sure. I guess we'd get a big gameplay chunk of that one because we've only had a trailer so far. Obviously Doom Eternal will get some, some more from that. Uhm, I would guess they'll show us some more mobile games and an update on Blades.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That one where they cranked up, where they got the PC, and they were like, let's crank it up to ultra settings, and then they got the gameplay, and oh, so good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's way different. So if they, if they, look, what if EA, let's just, I know the EA and Bethesda, all the execs listen to this podcast, obviously, so if you could please just give Bethesda the IP for Dead Space and have them make a new Dead Space.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, so Ubisoft is June 10th at 1pm PT. Probably start with Just Dance because it always does. Beyond Good and Evil 2, I think we'll probably see some more of. And Ghost Recon.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We don't know much about their other titles other than that there will be no Assassin's Creed this year, which I think is good. Also Odyssey and Origins are both very good games. I would totally recommend you play both of them. Uhm, but it is about time to see Watch Dogs 3.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, uh, fun fact, a very drunk dev at a bar that I was at in Montreal several years ago told me that game is set in London. He does work for Ubisoft. Obviously no NDA was signed there, and I guess we'll see if that's true. This whole time I've been like, I buy it, I believe him. You just journalism'd him.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think it'd be cool. I think it'd be cool. This hasn't been confirmed, but I'm guessing it's time for Watch Dogs 3. Oh yes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's a lot of fun stuff you could do in Watch Dogs 2. Like, Watch Dogs 1 I even liked, but it just was soulless. And then 2 got silly and fun, and yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There was that DJ guy you were hunting down for a while. He looked like Deadmau5. That was cool. There were a lot of cool things in Watch Dogs and I do want that franchise to continue and I like the idea of them jumping to different parts of the world.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The other thing we can expect from Ubisoft is, uh, well probably not expect Splinter Cell. That's the other thing that's rumored and people keep asking for.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've had several people lie to me about Splinter Cell. They'd be like, it's absolutely in development, and then the next one they're like, no it's not the fuck. So I think Ubisoft is just making a joke out of Splinter Cell at this point, to the extent.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Major publishers making stealth games at this point because I think their logic is that they don't sell, they're not accessible, but then a game like Sekiro doing as well as it did should counter that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I feel like people probably still love it from like, Jet Set Radio days. There's still a fondness there, but no one's really made a game like that in a long time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's gonna be like, does Trials sell? But it probably does because I always get Trials every year because Trials will be the game that I play when I'm waiting for something else to download. It's Trials or Forza. I'll be like, let me play one of these two games to just like screw around and do whatever while I'm waiting for something else to download. So I play Trials a lot.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I think they are giving Far Cry a bit of a break because we have already had a Far Cry release this year. I don't know that we'll see Far Cry this year.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, uhm, so the next conference is Squares, June 10th, 6pm PT. Quiet Man 2.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Actually, we know very little about it, uh, and I figure this is the year that we see more. Uhm, a lot of people are also hoping for more Final Fantasy VII remake. It switched devs back in...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That motherfucker takes way too long to make a game.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I know, everyone's very excited about it. No, it's just that it showed up there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's a very Ken Levine thing to do. Tell my story. Uh, so the last press conference then is Nintendo.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hopefully we'll get more Animal Crossing and I'm assuming more Smash DLC as well.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] God damn it. Uh, Elise, why are you excited about Nintendo press conference?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, there's also a Pokemon Direct today, that unfortunately is happening after we're recording.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, gotta do another ad read real quick, sorry to cut you off, we are running out of time, real fast, I almost could have split this in two honestly, but uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So this one is from Eero, thank you to Eero for sponsoring this podcast. The mission statement is,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In February 2016, we introduced the Eero Home WiFi system, bringing the idea of multiple access points placed throughout a house to consumers for the first time. So now they have a second generation system, the new Eero and the new Eero Beacon, allow customers basically to build a WiFi system that's more perfectly tailored to their individual homes than ever before.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's faster, has a better range, and still has the same high quality, elegant design that people have come to love.


[User] Please transcribe this text

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[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Fishing attacks and unsuitable content like illegal websites. This one, even if you aren't interested in it, could honestly be a cool gift for your less tech savvy family maybe.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, it provides complete protection for your network, all the devices in it, and includes content blocking, ad blocking, VPN protection, password management, and antivirus software so that you are nice and secure.


[User] Please transcribe this text

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[User] Please transcribe this text

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[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We are very much out of time, but I just wanted to run through some of the other rumors that we've got. Uh, Call of Duty Modern Warfare.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, this one was kind of unexpected, but the rumor came up because THQ Nordic started teasing that it would reveal two new games at E3 of the 88 it has in development.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, then there's a new Arkham game from Rocksteady, uh, last year, uh, supposedly leaked image could have been falsified, we don't really know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Came out about a game called Outlaws, which would focus on Red Hood's gang.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Not a lot of concrete evidence for that one, but we are obviously wondering what Rocksteady is working on. It seems like it's just a big DC game. Could be Justice League, could be Superman, because Superman games have always been so great in the past.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We don't know, uhm, and then of course there is the Harry Potter game from WB that had the full trailer leaked. So that one, I feel is pretty likely to show up at Microsoft.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, no, that was the other guy. Oh, the other one. Also, more Ahri. Uh, which of three is Roman to come to Switch? Or, or, was it Will of the Wisps? Will of the Wisps. Beautiful. Let's get it, let's get it guys. So there's lots of stuff to talk about, uh, just to wrap this up real quick. Driver four. We could have gone a lot longer, but uhm. Siphon filter's coming back. What's the plan for E3 Lawrence?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like and subscribe. Could we stream to both? Uhh, probably. But then we'd just be cutting the audience in half.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's a tot- so it's a total- all these companies together is a total of 381.4 billion dollars in debt.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is our layoffs the quickest path to getting rid of your debt then?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right, cause you can just, like, you can just fire or lay people off immediately and then you can clear off several million dollars, tens of millions of dollars off of your debt. Although, I mean, I don't know how studio finances work.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The way that I, so, so, this is not necessarily specifically related to this. The way that I feel about specifically my position in all of this is that, uhm, before I worked, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, before I worked at Machinima, I worked in TV.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, uh, uh, yeah. Fred Savage and Jane Curtin was on that show as well. Uhm, but we only aired a couple episodes. Nobody ever watched it. Michael B. Jordan? 15 cents.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like I worked on probably 8 to 10 shows when I was working on shows and some shows you would get a pilot and you would put together an entire staff and an entire crew and you would shoot a pilot and then you'd be done and it would never get picked up and some shows you would shoot 4 episodes and it would never go to air and some shows like Crumbs you would shoot 13 episodes and 4 would go to air and then the show would get cancelled but the show would get cancelled. If you're lucky you get a 10 year run on a show but very few people


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I look at all, like, whether it's SourceFed getting cancelled, uhm, or what's happening with Machinima personally for me, like, it's a TV show. I'm working on a TV show, and we work in entertainment, and gigs come and go, and you kinda have to just, if you're going to work in this industry, you kinda have to be okay with that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That is personally how I look at it. Now, from the perspective of this, I think there's a note, like, there are a variety of, like, separate


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Issues that are facing the digital media, like, landscape right now that we can get into. But like, don't have a pity party for me because of the job. Have a pity party for me because I like drinking, not alone.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I liked it, it was a funny show, but, you know, nobody watched it. Maybe don't give the writer a show. Tell that to Conan. Yea, I was gonna say, how dare you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, if we're really struggling to survive, you need to give everyone who's working skin in the game. You need to give them some, like, and I don't mean like bullshit stock options that might be worth nothing at some, at some point.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Although that helps, but like actual ownership stake in the company and stock options kind of function in sort of in that way, but not in the immediate short term. Like you want, you know, for, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] For clarity's sake, like the way that our stock options worked years ago at Machinima is that they granted us options, but you had to stick around for one year for a quarter of those options to vest. And then every month, 1 48th of those options continued to vest for the next three years. So you had no real, like no ownership incentive.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In that time, in the, in, you know, the first or second or third or even fourth year to see success other than not getting fired.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Whereas if you give someone ownership stake in how the day to day of the company is doing, whether that's a share of ad revenue, um, for whatever you book on the content that you're doing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We can, I don't know if you want to talk about this or if this is the topic of the podcast, but eventually like, start like our own thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, the other, like the other really specific reason that I was ready to walk away from Machinima at the time, uhm, was because it, the writing that I saw on the wall wasn't that this isn't going to work or this isn't going to be successful, but the company started moving away from doing the stuff that I wanted.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That I enjoyed doing, which was owned and operated, developed in-house in-studio content, which is what we all liked.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, and broadly the comp, and broadly the company was looking at, I mean again, this is my, this is how I saw it. The company was looking at trying to get acquired by somebody. So they were cutting employees, which frustrated me, specifically cutting a lot of employees in the,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I will also, like, just to sort of tie this back up and then we can get back into it. Yea, I need to put a bookmark in real quick to make some money. But the reason that I was enticed to come back is they said, like, we realize we haven't been doing a lot of programming, we want to start building IP again, will you come back and develop shows?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What I had been spending the last year on, a lot of that stuff is never going to see the light of day, unfortunately, because we had to close up shop, but...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We need to submit a request to the deployment team. There was a team of eight people? Eight people at least.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You lost your password, can you give it to us and then we'll give it back to you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That was how our relationship began, as she came in to make fun of us for working, and then we made out that night.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's cause people didn't fucking cross, or P90, P90X in there after work every single day. Well. And then I thought, yes, people, people thought.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How did you- how did you get a room with this many air conditioning vents to smell this bad? I do not kno- well I do know. It was P90X. Fox.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I feel like it was like, at least every three or four weeks you'd come limping in, or with a major head scar. Oh, that was more from like, martial art class. Something. Oh, okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The margins are like 2-4%. And so a lot of these hedge funds would like buy up tons of small newspapers, smash them together, like centralize certainly like the national news coverage, and then maybe have a few like beat reporters in local news, uh, local news markets.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What, obviously like over time, they de-invested in local news, uhm, they made a ton of money by cutting staff and like, their investments paid off in the sense that in the short term they made a ton of money. But now, print media is dying and all these companies are having to do further and further and further.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So basically, like, they just, they were looking at the margins.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Bought into this industry, gutted it, and now like, it's barely an industry.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's 50% of it. The other half of it is if you have an idea and you can't raise for a great company and you can't raise money yourself.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The idea is you go public with this idea and you get people to invest in you so you're able to make that thing and build this company. Kickstarter. These are the original ideas of this is like kind of why the stock market exists. The stock market now exists to make people who own stock money.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That is why the stock market exists. So companies have a much higher incentive to make money than to invest in their company and to like make a product and do something. That's why tech, for example, tech companies


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know how to like, circle that square, I don't know how to solve that problem of like, the stock market is not doing what it's intended to do. Regulation.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But like, but like, this all gets back to digital media because the reason that these companies go into debt, the reason that they are laying people off is to increase their margins to keep their stock prices high. Uhm, which like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I would argue the purpose of a comp- of a media company is not to keep your stock prices high, it's to make fucking media.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know? And yes, to make a profit, but you don't need to make a 10 or a 15 or a 20% profit every year in order to make media that is consumable and makes a profit. Like that is what is so frustrating to me about a lot of this stuff is that all of it is driven by the market. It's not driven by the product that you're actually making.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They did. I went to the set. What? It was so cool.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It takes you guys two years to turn around an episode of Dude Soup, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This may be the strangest message you'll ever receive, but I do hope you'll take the time to read it and consider what I have to say.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] To put it simply, I would really appreciate it if, the next time your birthday comes around, you'd request that your clop artist friends, who like to give you sexually oriented pony art as gifts, draw some pony other than Twilight Sparkle for you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The reason I ask this is that Twilight is my fiancé.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And we're planning on getting married next June or July, should everything go as planned, financially speaking. And yes, I have actually found a wedding chapel that will let me marry someone that most people would consider a fictional character. Now, before you go thinking, this guy is either completely crazy or just screwing with me, please, hear me out on this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You see, I'm totally head over heels in love with Twilight Sparkle. I have been for about 11 months now, and at this point, I'm in a committed relationship with my Twily.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] By that I mean, I don't date anyone else, I don't sleep with anyone else, and I have zero interest in having any kind of relationship with anyone other than the mayor I adore.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I love her with all my heart and I'm 100% committed to that love. To express my love in a real tangible way, I have a beautiful handmade custom twilight sparkle plushie that I can hug, kiss, cuddle up in bed, go to sleep with at night and take out on the town, do all the fun things together that normal couples do.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I talk about her as if she is Twilight, because to me she very much is. When I look at her, I see Twilight Sparkle. When I talk with her, I'm talking to Twilight Sparkle.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When I hold her in my arms, kiss her, there are no doubts in my mind that it's the mare I love whose lips are pressed against mine, and every morning when I open my eyes and see her head on the pillow next to mine, with her gorgeous violet eyes staring back at me, I can't help but wonder.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How I ever got to be so lucky as to have a partner as smart, funny, beautiful, and all around as wonderful as her. All my friends and- We're halfway done.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Truth is I've had plenty of real relationships and sexual partners in the 27 years I've been around. A few short relationships. One that lasted 7 years and a total of 6 different sexual partners.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So my love for Twilight isn't out of a lack of real world intimacy in relationships, I just fell in love with her. And my heart didn't give me much of a choice in the matter. But you know what? I'm totally happy with my love and relationship. It may seem weird to you, but it fills me with joy every single day of my life and I've never been happier. So what if it's weird?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] To you, I'm sure Twilight Sparkle is just a cartoon character you think is really hot. So I imagine you wouldn't think anything of having your friends draw sexually explicit art over


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] of her as birthday gifts for you. And hey, I think she's really attractive too, so I get where you're coming from here. I often go on e621.net and rule34.phaheal


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] See, with new erotic art, people have drawn of her. But to me, she's more than a cartoon character who's sexually attractive. She's my fiancee, who I love with all my heart, and soon to be my wife.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So it's been bothering me lately every time I go on these sites and see a dozen or so pieces of art people have drawn depicting my girl in various sexual situations with the same person over and over. And that person happens to be you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Don't get me wrong here though, this isn't a jealousy thing. I'm very secure in my relationship. I know without question that Twilight is just as faithful to me as I am to her. She's actually sitting on the couch next to me reading while I type this. She's very real to me. And I know she's not sneaking out in the middle of the night to go have kinky sex with some famous artist.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I do respect your talent as an artist. And an artist's creative freedom to draw whatever they want, that's cool. What bothers me is that all these birthday images you've been getting, Twilight is always depicted as if she's your sexual plaything, drawn wearing a collar with your name on it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Or the speech bubble saying something that would somehow suggest she was your property.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I know quite well that Twilight Sparkle is not your plaything, nor your property. She's my fiancé. So that bugs me a bit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What I find really loathsome, though, is your penchant for degrading my partner in both your art and the fan art you've been receiving lately. Twily is a sweet and fairly vanilla little mare who I treat with the utmost love and respect, and she definitely does not deserve to be portrayed as some kind of sexual slave who likes being dressed up in sleazy attire wearing a collar.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Getting sodomized and having her face ejaculated on.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] She's not into that kind of stuff. And the fact that there's someone out there in the world such as yourself who would dare, who would desire to treat Twilight in that way and have his friends support and validate her desires to demean and mistreat my partner by drawing pictures of him doing so really does bother me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So next year when your birthday comes around, keep in mind that Twilight Sparkle isn't just a lifeless cartoon character to be objectified with your sexual gratification. She's a partner of someone who loves her. Very much. And by that time, their wife. So...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Both myself and Twily would greatly appreciate it if you picked someone else to request erotic art of for your birthday. Based on the very large amount of different ponies you draw art of, I imagine there has to be many other ponies you find sexually attractive.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I assume you'll probably just dismiss this message as the ramblings of a crazy person and likely ignore it, but if by some chance you do take what I've had to say to heart, well,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've always heard that the only things that have opposable thumbs were things that human beings eventually enslaved. That's why we never had a guerrilla army.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, because they didn't have opposable thumbs, thus we couldn't use them to build the way we wanted to. Growing up, I grew up with generations of raccoons.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Ten minutes the monkey drove the bus. Yea, a very long time. I do like, my favorite thing on this is image via YouTube.


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[Assistant] Yeah, everyone felt safe and they probably enjoyed their trip on this bus more than they would regularly.


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[Assistant] That dude had more control over that bus than 95% of all drivers in all of India. Oh yea, this is my- I've seen this video. Look!


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[Assistant] I mean, give him a better job. What's a situation in which it would make sense for a man to work alongside a monkey? Uh, a train at the zoo.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Bollywood is a good maybe a film director. Dancing. He makes Bollywood movies and he always has his monkey by his side.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Bill Gates has been knocked to third richest man in the world today. His fortune will only last eight billion years.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know any hitmen in real life, but I can only assume most of them are pretty bad guys. So like, even though you're killing bad guys, you're kind of a bad guy too.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I feel like it is kind of shocking, right? Like, cause I guess it means that in Nintendo's vertical or whatever they consider it more like a DS.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I just, it just seems that this is more like, you know, oh, there's the DS. Ah, there's a 3DS. Ah, there's a 3DS Plus. There's 2DS, 2DS Excel, there's all kinds.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I mean, they're justifiable upgrades. Nintendo rarely is like, we just made it more powerful. They find some sort of new gimmick for whatever it is, but it's just interesting because it feels like


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] For the business sense, they consider the Switch more of that kind of device. Like something that they can upgrade. So I'm curious what the hook is.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause it doesn't seem like they would be like to make it more powerful. Which is what Playstation and Xbox do.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There has to be some, they must have found something to do with the console that would make it. I can't think of what they would.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That docked was 1080, right? I just feel like, I feel like none of the feedback they would have gotten from anyone that bought that console is, man, this looks like shit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That would still be the first time they've ever followed any other company's lead. And after a success, it seems weird that they would do that.


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[Assistant] Well, there's stuff like the analog stick, right, like different things like that.


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[Assistant] Dragon Ball FighterZ came out on Switch, and a lot of people asked me, are you gonna get it? And I was like, no.


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[Assistant] Why, in God's name, would I ever want to play a fighting game? Like, I have some of those old Neo Geo games, and even those are like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] God, I really hope this Fireball comes out. Cause who, like who the fuck knows? So, like, the only thing I could think is they reworked some of that D-pad stuff. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're like, we see that no one is playing this on a rooftop at a party like this. Like no one's using the controllers that way, so maybe we can make it more functional or like a Switch Pro.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, do you hate rooftops and playing with your friends? Here's the Switch Pro, which has these pro controllers on the side, you know? Yep. That makes sense. That would make a lot more sense.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're right. Like I said- I don't have to go to Austin ever. My disaster plan was always sell everything I own, open a gym in Hawaii. Alright. Teach people completely unqualified.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Then what are you going to do with the bowl? You gotta clean the bowl.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And where he moved, because they attached a radio antenna to the turtle so they could track his movements, so they followed where he went over the course of three years, basically nowhere.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh yea, you did. You almost died. Cause I got up early, at least I got up early and we drove up to the mountain to see some bears. We did. Bears are everywhere. You can find a bear. Think about going and fighting that bear. There was an electric fence.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it was electric, tell you that much. So I did not fight the bear. Look at him, he's just sitting in the little river!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I came outside of the apartment today and then Benz and I were standing in the alley and I looked up and there was a squirrel sitting on the fence eating a nut and the look he gave me was like, do you know how hard it was for me to find this nut? Cause you gotta live in a bed.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because you would go, oh well, the foundation, to get that foundation steady, we're going to have to carve out all this rock. It's going to have to re-divert, divert, deliver.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It is actually cool. It teaches you about astrophysics while playing Kerbal. Kerbal space program. Problem is no one plays that anymore. Yeaah. But it's a, I just, I love moments where like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We have to do it. Those kids are going to make more money playing Fortnite today than an actual science teacher would make in a year.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, sorta, I ran out of time. I feel like we're missing all the cool shit from your gameplay. Yeah, I can skip back.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is that sometimes you want to have a breeze.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sometimes on a hot day you want to have a breeze, but you don't want to have your helmet, like, you still want to have your eyes protected, so. Sunglasses, there you go. You get sunglasses there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] To him that he can just pull them up with one click in a split second he can access old sex videos with ex-girlfriends. That's not a few folders deep. I feel bad for that ex-girlfriend because I wonder how she feels about him having that sex video. Probably not very good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, that somebody would just vanish on you. Well also, there's the first phase of like, oh my god, like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I care about this person, I wonder what happened to them, you know?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Until you, I guess you find out from a person, from a person or whatever, social media or whatever, they're just, they just moved on or something like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Whoa. Whoa. Little Caesar's bad, but it's not just a whatever, throw, it's not cardboard pizza.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah man. It's a great picture. It's fucking great. I'm pretty sure Little Caesar saved my life when I was really poor in LA. There's two things that kept me alive and it was dollar spicy chicken sandwiches from Carl's Jr. and


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That video looks, I mean that video looks funny, but it looks like it's, cause like sometimes you'll see, uh, whatever in a Walmart, right? It'll be a Target, but there's also a, like a McDonald's in it. It looks like someone just had a, cause like why would there be-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, yeah, there's probably Little Caesars in some sort of other store, cause why would you, why would Little Caesars have shopping carts?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's okay. Those are okay. You don't like those? Look at how stretched his belly button is. Sorry dog.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Not that big on me. That's why everyone goes, I can't get rid of my love handles.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What? Oh, there's no way he's going to make it. There you go, that's good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Digimon aren't for kids anymore. If you liked Digimon when you were a kid, you're an adult now and you can appreciate a good fart.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But because the person hasn't uploaded in a year, it's, it's fairly inactive. And so I don't want this, you know, this champion sitting around. I always like fighting champions. So I'm going to have to keep going with, uh, Atomatone covers. Excellent.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Maybe it's at a frequency we can't hear. It was very quiet. It was like a two year old kid who's freaking out right now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, uh, I don't remember. I think it was the horse fairy gets pissed at you if you like kill your horses. That makes sense.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It looks like there's a space for it right next to the collection box, but it's not there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think that's the biggest issue which I totally understand is people saying,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I bought tickets and I go to a hotel to come to BlizzCon because I saw this announcement video saying I should be excited about BlizzCon if I like Diablo and then I get there and it's a mobile game. I completely understand why those people are mad and I don't think they're being entitled for being mad. It's like when you tell them to be excited to the extent that you're advertising this convention and they go and then they're like, what the fuck? I'm like, I get that. It makes sense to me. Just stop sending people death threats.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I kind of agree, like, I didn't think it was fantastic because there was a lot of shit that I had already played that I...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] PSX last year, I knew they weren't gonna announce anything, and everyone's like, they're gonna have the most fucking announcements of all time. Like, it was never going to happen, especially because the Game Awards had a bunch of announcements. So people were super excited about it, and then they were like, what the fuck was that? And I was like, guys,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So removing comments, sure, like I've worked at companies, one of the second companies that I worked for, someone uploaded a video that everyone was mad about and they just started removing the comments and you just have to be like, don't do that. It doesn't work. I mean, they could be doing it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I wouldn't discount that, that some community manager is super upset and is like, I'm gonna remove them all, but it's such a bad idea for companies to do it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Didn't they use to be like a 5 star rating? Did they? They used to have percentages.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I get why, I totally understand why people are mad and I'm not like on the tirade of calling gamers entitled for this. But I know that companies function so much, it's so much more complicated than you would always think. Of course. And someone somewhere probably noticed it, someone thought it would be an issue but they didn't expect it. But I also want to say, the people who are sending death threats, because that's happening.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sucks, don't do that. And then sending it to community managers and low level devs who have no say in any of it and just like, you can be mad, but you're directing that hate at the wrong fucking people, like just stop doing that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's the thing, I think this is so much more complicated than we think. So I spoke to technically five separate people at BlizzCon who are Blizzard employees about this. And there's some stuff that I won't share, but one of the things is that they


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They wanted to make a good mobile game. They were like, we want to make a good mobile game. We think most of them are bad. We're Blizzard. We know how to make good games. A million people use that platform. Let's make a fucking good one. So they're like trying to do something ultimately positive.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But, like I mean another part is like Shrya, Jason Shrya Kotaku posted, uh, about how apparently they were going to...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, and Diablo 3 was the most pre-ordered game of all time at that time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's like some ads. Just a bunch of ads. I would have liked to have that website, but it's fine.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I have so many different email addresses just to avoid that. Like almost every platform I use has a different email address.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There was a competition where you'd win a Wii and you had to like touch a car or some shit for as long as you possibly could so you couldn't go to the bathroom and so nobody could


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do anything, and a woman died because she like held it in for so long.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's a great game, I love Insomniac, uh, but it starts with a hell of a lot of tutorial. It's like the first three hours, you're like, landing, and then the Tau Defense thing gets introduced, so it's like, you gotta get through that, and then it's just like, dumb, fun, explosive. It's, I like it a lot.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Studying journalism you learn about it a ton, and it's like an important thing to be able to report the truth on something so people know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I would argue for the fourth estate in most cases, I think like government owning media is really scary.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I was fucked up. Spent a lot of money. My parents went mad, though. But I think this story's nuanced because...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I never like big corporations going after press for publishing something that's true. Like I think that that is always a shitty thing to do. To be fair though, if they had of gone to court,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Rockstar would have made a lot more, or take two rather, would have made a lot more money out of this than asking for the donation because basically they received a document


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That was confidential, that said it was confidential, published it anyway, not verifying that they were allowed to. It was sent in by an anonymous source. So they never at any point made sure, they would have been fucked in court. They didn't check that it wasn't confidential, they were allowed to publish it. They just published it. So they were screwed.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It doesn't, it doesn't value anyone, but at the same time, I don't like the idea that a massive corporation who is extremely profitable and has made two of the highest grossing entertainment products of all time should be allowed to be like, you can't say that about us.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's kind of a mess because it also, like the companies who are leaking things aren't even necessarily doing it because they care, it's because they get the traffic from it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So it's like, is it helping anyone at any point? I don't know. There's plenty of shit that I could've leaked to them. I'm always like, I'm just not going to, because why?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't want to shit on any of my friends who work in games media still. Like, I studied journalism, I've won three journalism awards, never considered it real journalism, and then it applies to the fourth state.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't consider anything that I've done in my career to really be journalism. Dang.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well yes, and I'm not saying games media is redundant because having the people who have the contacts to reach out to get clarification on things other people are saying or care about is a thing that


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is ultimately helpful to the industry and to consumers who are making purchasing decisions. Like that's the value of games journalism is being like, should you buy this thing or should you buy this other thing? Cause our industry is expensive. It's an expensive hobby to have. So I think it serves a purpose, but when it comes to literally the fourth estate, I don't think it's journalism.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Lock your console up when you're not in the room.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've done a bunch of group interviews at press events, and I always get very annoyed by people who will ask agenda-driven questions. I'm like, I get that your think piece is about, is the latest Tomb Raider sexist? But the rest of us need to fucking figure out what this game's about, man. Like, just send that in an email. And they do that a lot.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The people writing the thing don't generally track the views. But I would guess they might even think they're doing something good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So it's like, if you're not doing it, it's shitty, but if you are, and that's why, like, when Bethesda announced, uh, Corvo and, what's her name, into Sonic? Emily.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Emily? Yea. Uh, they were just like, and obviously you can play as a woman. And everyone was like, duh. Thank you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The reason that I really admire this one is that I think it would be very difficult because of the volume.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like slightly up so you could have like put your hand in and unlocked it and someone put cat food in my hand.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I didn't realize, I was like, what the fuck is that smell? And it took me like a week to be like, this fucking cat food.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've actually, since I moved to the US, heard a few stories about people lying about being in the military and wearing like fake badges and shit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He has to get off to a picture of only his own dick. It can't be anything else.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, it's a red-letter day because the internet invented something new to masturbate to. Yes, it's a Cinderella tale of a princess that could and did and has been a lot in the past couple of days. Because that's breaking the internet and Telltale games is breaking up people's families and home lives. Yes, all this and more on a sexy bolette of dude soup.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh yea, I know what you're saying, yea. I getcha. As long as they're the right shape. And in the right place. I've seen things with huge tits that are not sexy though.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like a dog that's just had like a huge litter and it's just ragged. Not sexy. That's not huge tits.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's actually swollen tits. Mmm. Like swollen, but then they get drained and they're just kinda...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I'm your host, Lawrence. I'll take you through this, uh, this cesspool of internet kink. I don't know, we were just discussing if, yeah, no, this is definitely kink. Uh, I'm joined with three expert panelists who all know very well about crossovers in the Mario universe. It was most likely to cross Peach with Bowser because Bowser's jacked and everybody should be jacked. James Willum. Thank you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, most likely to cross Peach with Link. That's right. Because he respects strong women. Bruce Green. Absolutely. I would love to see Sheik in real life.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I have seen a lot of sexy Vivian shit, but I've never seen, nevermind. Have they done Donkey Kong yet?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, this podcast is brought to you by three sponsors, uh, Dollar Shave Club, Hems, and Loot Crate. You can get a starter pack, uh, from Dollar Shave Club for five dollars at dollarshaveclub.com slash dude. Uh, you can get a trial month of Hems for five dollars at fourhems.com slash soup.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And you can subscribe to Loot Crate now at lootcrate.com slash dude for 15% off your subscription.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hear more from them later. First, yeah, we got something new to masturbate to. Uh, I spent all morning downloading pictures of Bowsette, one of the best uses of corporate time that I can imagine. Omar, let's throw up that beautiful slideshow and get this rolling. I love that you made a start.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, so sorry audio listeners, uh, but hey, you know what? It's only a Google search away. Uh, so let me run through the chronology of what happened here. Uh, Nintendo announced Super Mario Deluxe, uh, forward switch, Super Mario, New Super Mario Brothers U Deluxe, which is a punch-up of New Super Mario Brothers U that came out a long time ago. In this, they have a new power-up called the Super Crown.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Which is, hold on Omar, let's click her back over here for a quick second.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That when somebody puts it on they become a peach version of that character. So the one shown was Peachette, which is peach crossed with Toadette.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, so this, uh, was in, this really rocked the Mario fandom to the core, uh, so, there was a post on reset era.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That was posted, let's see, what's the date stamp on this? September 13th. Uh, titled elegantly.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So what the hell is up with Peachette? Uh, it reads, uh, there's...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's just random crowns lying over that turned Toadette, and only Toadette, into a near exact copy of Peach named Peachette.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, but in Mario 64 DS there were caps. Okay, my answer to that is that I don't really care.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Ah, well I'm glad you asked. So a lot of people started theorizing once the precedent was set.