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[Assistant] Same. And uh, tune in live every day. I don't know who's on after this.


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[Assistant] God, are you kidding me? That's a, that's a big.


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[Assistant] Alright, well thanks everybody, thanks for watching.


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[Assistant] Michael Scott once said, crazy world, lot of smells. He couldn't have been more right. This is a weird, crazy, smelly world we live in. Today we'll be kicking back and having a casual conversation about the strangest of life.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Grimes and Ewan's new baby and a little boy with a big Lamborghini dream.


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[Assistant] Take off your fancy jeans and put on those pajama pants. It's time for a comfy bowl of dude soup.


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[Assistant] How y'all doing today? I'm, I'm, I'm currently joined by, uh, it's me, John Smith. I'm currently joined by Adam Kovic. Hey John.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, thank you. It's a great quote. And also, Fancy Jeans was also an office reference.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I haven't worn pants or really bottoms in over a month. Is that true? You go out, you go shopping. You do not want me to stand up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Did I what? Did you go, time for shorts? Yeah.


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[Assistant] Uhm, so, uh, first, first things first. How's everybody doing today?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, how was your last week? How was, how's the time since you've been asked that question been?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, you're not gonna be proud of me because I prepped very good meals. It's very delicious.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I did roasted veggies, some onion, some, uh, Brussels sprouts, some asparagus, some carrots, and I made my famous, my world famous, fully loaded mashed potatoes, which is where


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You make mashed potatoes, but then you put all the ingredients of a baked potato in it, like cheddar cheese, bacon, and onion.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That sounds pretty good to me. Some of those Omaha steaks from like nine months ago. I took them out of the freezer.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's not healthy. Pan-fried pork chops, fully loaded mashed potatoes.


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[Assistant] I saw, I saw a video of an onion farmer, uh, with like an ocean of onions because the,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Chainlines or distribution lines have been broken. I don't want to talk about all this sad apocalyptic shit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What do you got? Speaking of, oh, what is it?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's what happened to me. My birthday was a couple weeks ago. My, uh, sister-in-law brought me this big cake. She's a pastry chef. She made this giant beautiful cake. And I ate like half of it myself over the course of the week and then threw out the rest.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You didn't even consult me on which flavor to get. Which flavor did you get?


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[Assistant] Uhm, I was standing in line and I was waiting and I was looking around. Every single employee had the mask down below their nose. That's what this guy had. For some reason.


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[Assistant] Yeah. Yeah, and I, and I mentioned one guy, I was like, hey man, you should have that over your nose if you want to protect yourself. And he's like, yeah, okay. And he put it up and then literally he was walking 15 feet away. He just pulled it down again and I was like, okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There was this lady, like, I was in the self-checkout line, and there was this lady near where, like, you get your bags, and she was bending down, loading her bag, and she was right next to the thing, and this guy came over and literally leaned over her, and was like, like, basically standing over like a football, like a quarterback in the,


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[Assistant] I didn't say anything. Of course not. Cause I didn't want to seem like a crazy person. But. Protecting the people around you.


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[Assistant] I have actually pulled the weirdest stories from the week. One of them being posted only like 45 minutes ago.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, and it's up to y'all to decide. Do you wanna hear?


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[Assistant] Do we want to talk about the zombie hunters? Do we want to talk about Elon's baby? Do we want to talk about the five year old who's buying a Lamborghini?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Or the man who got arrested three times in one day, uh, and just went on his merry way.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I actually, before I knew it, the onion was, I saw a article that said Osama wishes America a terrible Valentine's Day. And I brought it up in class. And my teacher's like, that doesn't sound real.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm more of a fan of his cameo in Why Him starring Bryan Cranston and James Franco.


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[Assistant] Bernie got cut from that movie. Bernie and a number of other people were in that. They were supposed to be in the scene with Elon Musk, but then Elon Musk cancelled and then they just made it. It's just Elon. It's the only one in that movie now.


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[Assistant] Ah, that's a shame. That's how they get ya.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes, so Elon Musk, all, everyone listening, you've probably heard by now that Elon Musk and Grimes are welcoming a child onto this earth. I'll just read a little snippet from the article. Tesla CEO, Elon Musk and singer Grimes have welcomed a baby boy. When someone asked the baby's name, Musk replied, and this is over Twitter, ex


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Ash, which is the A and the E put together, it's pronounced Ash, uh, A12 Musk.


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[Assistant] And shared a photo of the baby with a filter that gave the newborn face tattoos.


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[Assistant] And Grimes, regarding her pregnancy, is quoted as saying,


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[Assistant] Interestingly enough, there are twins and triplets. So they had a pair of twins and a pair of triplets from his previous marriage.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, were you aware that x.com was actually what PayPal originally was? They were thinking xchange.com, but everyone thought x.com was just a fake URL, so they had to change it to PayPal.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, Janet Jackson. Oh yeaah. What the heck? Everybody look!


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[Assistant] Janet, on behalf of the United States of America and President George W. Bush, we apologize for being offended by your tete.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Black Box Down is gonna let you know all about it. If you're a fan like me of Rooster Teeth and you grew up listening to all the Rooster Teeth podcasts and you've listened to Rooster Teeth podcasts 1 through 500 multiple times, you'll know that Gus is a huge


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's actually a new show about it called Black Box Down. It's Rooster Teeth's new aviation disaster podcast. Join Gus Sorolla and Chris Damaris as they break down the facts and trace the steps that led to tragedy. From some of aviation's earliest incidents to modern day catastrophes, they detail what exactly went wrong.


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[Assistant] How it could have been prevented and the steps taken to make sure they wouldn't be repeated.


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[Assistant] Oh yeaah, I didn't, I didn't even see it live, I just saw all the, I saw all the censored news articles about it. So I didn't even get to see her boob.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know, did y'all hear about how Janet Jack, er, what's her name? JLo? Jennifer Lopez? JLo never actually sang on any of her tracks? What?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I saw a YouTube video about it. This is a thing that happens, that actually happens a lot, or at least maybe back in the day in pop music before autotune was mastered.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Where producers would record songs.


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[Assistant] That they made themselves with just like unknown singers, uhm, and then they'd sell those songs to the studios to these big artists, and then a lot of times,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They wouldn't replace the vocals because the actual star couldn't sing very well.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, and there was, there was, it was like a 20 minute video where the person was pulling interviews from producers and comparing the demo tracks to the actual release tracks that were on JLo's album. And it was the same exact thing, it like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't remember it, uh, I watched it and I went oh, and then I forgot about it until just now. She sang the whole song.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well I mean, I mean that is a thing where he seems to be unhinging where, because like his stock is dropping or whatever. He's been like, we need to get people back on the streets.


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[Assistant] That was another thing, the CEO of American Airlines announced that it's safe for everyone to travel now. So, sounds like we're through it.


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[Assistant] That's the thing that always happens is there will be like, a, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That headline is what will explode, and no one will actually read anything about it. And then, across the country, news stations are talking about this idea that has no, like, no evidence to actually prove it.


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[Assistant] It's, it's, it's a little scary, it's a little sad, but it's also...


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[Assistant] Without that context of reality, like most things, is hilarious.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Basically, uh, you've probably seen little like shitty Motorola phone video recordings of monkeys on motorcycles driving around. It's like a big kind of like...


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[Assistant] Yeah, why can't monkey ride a motorcycle? They're bad drivers. They're bad.


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[Assistant] Somehow, one of these monkeys, maybe he's retired, uhm, maybe he bought the bike, maybe he saved up enough money and he bought the bike from his owner and now he just lives on his own.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] One of these monkeys rides up on his little motorcycle, hops off of it and grabs this little child and starts dragging it away. Uhm, and just so everyone knows, the child was unscathed and basically after like 10 seconds of being dragged across the ground, stood up and kind of frustratedly walked back to her apartment. Uhm.


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[Assistant] Oh, you're right, we do. 5 year old boy was pulled over on Utah on his way to California to try to buy a Lamborghini. Let me just read the little snippet here of this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A five year old boy with three dollars in his pocket was pulled over by Utah police while driving his parents car to California to buy a Lamborghini. That's right.


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[Assistant] Trooper Rick Morgan said he was sitting on the front edge of the seat so that he could reach the brake pedal to keep the car from stopping while I was standing there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] On the highway, I th- er, no, no, no. They thought he was impaired. Yea, he was weaving on Interstate 15. So he was on the 15.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is what you're telling me. Well, that was what the trooper thought it was an impaired driver. I was kidding.


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[Assistant] Well the weird thing is, the 15 is how you get to, uh, how you get to California from Utah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, sadly he did not. I think Elise made a good point of... that the mom...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Was like, I'm not buying you a Lambo. And he's like, fine, I'm driving to California. And she's like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it makes me think of that, uh, that news report where the kid kept, like kept stealing cars and they're like.


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[Assistant] Zombies! They're everywhere. Uhm, so this article comes, excuse me, comes out of Sweden.


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[Assistant] German zombie hunter stopped at Swedish border with car full of weapons. Let me just read the little snippet I copy and paste here.


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[Assistant] The couple belonged to a group called Zombie Response Team, and were found to have 16 illegal weapons in their possession upon crossing the border. They arrived into the country in a Hummer vehicle, which wore a Zombie Response Team logo, as well as the rather ominous warning that infected people will be shot.


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[Assistant] The local prosecutor noted that they hadn't chosen the most inconspicuous of vehicles for smuggling weaponry. While the couple's defense attorney states the couple had not known that the weapons cannot be legally brought into the country.


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[Assistant] And yeah, how do they have so much excessive income or are they just in incredibly terrible debt?


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[Assistant] Uhm, what I think was a little weird is that most of the weapons, uh, would not


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, they're not the weapons you want during a zombie apocalypse, so. What are the weapons? Yeah. Uhm.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I had a list of it here. They didn't list all of them. They said, uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They didn't, they weren't sure how many weapons they had, it was from 16 to over 20. They had several crossbows, which I guess those are good if you can aim well.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And one truncheon, which I am now going to google. A baton.


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[Assistant] Well, you don't wanna shoot a gun during a zombie apocalypse, James. That's just gonna bring more zombies.


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[Assistant] Yeah. Uhm, yeah, when I was younger,


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[Assistant] I wasn't excited for the zombie apocalypse.


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[Assistant] I'll say that right now, I wasn't excited, I wasn't saying woohoo, let's end civilization, but...


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[Assistant] I was very prepared for the possibility, uh, my dad works in a...


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[Assistant] At the DOD, uh, he has a program, or, he basically, like, has the thing that, you know, in the event of chemical warfare. So I wouldn't think it would be some, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Some, you know, unbelievable zombie, zombie virus. But, you know, there could be some form of like, uh, enhanced rabies or something.


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[Assistant] Yeah, but oh yeah, the, the embarrassing thing about my like thought process when I was in my early twenties was I had a, I had a, a three strike system.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If I experienced three things out of the norm,


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[Assistant] Yeah, corrective lenses or just, you know, anyone with bad vision. You drop your glasses, break your glasses, or run out of contacts. You have fucking bad vision for life.


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[Assistant] Yeah, shortages of stuff. Speaking of, sorry, go ahead, Adam.


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[Assistant] My heart's racing! Uhm, speaking of the apocalypse, this isn't like a, uh, you know, this isn't a paranoia thing, but there-


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[Assistant] Yeah, that's strike one right there. Uhm, this is something Matt did and I've talked about for like two years now saying, oh, I totally gotta go do this. But something that a lot of cities offer, I know that, uh, Los Angeles County offers it, which is, it's not apocalypse preparedness, but it's like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, natural disaster preparedness. So like, yeaah, for instance, if there's an earthquake, and uhm, you know, they always talk about the big one in California.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That very well could break a bunch of water pipes, break a bunch of power lines down, and we could be without water and power for multiple days, maybe even weeks. And that's basically what these, uh, what these courses are is they go over


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] All of the, all of the way, like how to get clean water, how to do this, how to do that, uhm, and,


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[Assistant] I'm not saying that's gonna happen or that it's more likely to happen, uh, but.


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[Assistant] It's something that seems totally unnecessary, but could be helpful. Uh, you never know.


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[Assistant] I ordered a LifeStraw off of like Woot.com and it was like $3 and I'm pretty sure it's just a, like, it doesn't work.


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[Assistant] Well, I think that, uh, kind of wraps it up for today. Y'all have any closing thoughts? We covered all the stories.


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[Assistant] Basically, he got arrested three times over the course of 12 hours. Uh, kind of funny. Another thing where it's kind of funny without context, but the sad part is that California has a zero bail policy, so basically everyone who's getting arrested just immediately gets released.


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[Assistant] I've seen that movie with Tommy Lee Jones. That documentary.


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[Assistant] Uhm, two of the times it was for stealing cars. One time it was for him, he was literally just walking down the street, walking into yards and picking stuff up and leaving. Like he was literally...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like walking down the street and just stealing things as he went down the street. That's what neighborhood cats do.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, alright, well, thank you everyone for hanging out with me today. Thank you, John. Thank you Rooster Teeth Chat for hanging out with us live. And thank you everyone at home. Well, I guess we're all at home. But everyone who's listening to this in the future, thank you future people for listening. Uhm, and we will see you on the next one. Have a great week. See you next week. Roll those credits, Nick.


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[Assistant] We write weekend videos. And edit weekend videos. And edit and host those videos as well. We also set up the studio. Yep. And knock it down. Maybe. Rack em.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Go ahead. Okay. Yeah, so, uh, it's, I mean...


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[Assistant] It's a podcast, it's four people around mics talking about games, but we don't start it off with, what are you playing?


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[Assistant] Oh yea, today's a Stadia video. Uh huh. Uh huh. Yea, it's, it's not really edited yet, uh, cause that's my job. And I'm here. But, I mean there's a lot of like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He does love Tyler. Well, did you know that Bruce loves Scar? He does. What? Bruce loves Scar. Yeaah.


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[Assistant] Oh my god. People get so mad at us for that. So somebody made a spreadsheet comparing the percentage of bits to news compared to when you guys were hosting the new incarnation of Insight Gaming to us. And they put in like time codes, percentages, and you guys have too many bits.


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[Assistant] Who cares? We did a story on is Smash Ultimate the last Smash? And like 80% of the comments were like, short answer, no. Well okay, if you wanted the short answer you could have read the article.


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[Assistant] Or inspect female bodies. Why would you condone that, Adam?


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[Assistant] Wouldn't that be amazing? I only get maybe an hour at night before I'm too tired and just want to watch TV.


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[Assistant] Aside from like the warehouse fires that destroyed all the films, uh, movies are pretty like accessible. Oh yeaah. Like you can go back and as long as they're preserved well, games that are even, like the people that tried to make them, even if they painstakingly try to preserve it, if you don't have the system for some of them, it can be impossible to play it. So updating it makes it not only possible for a new generation, but like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You can still play it without having to lug around your SNES.


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[Assistant] Uh, I don't know, half like Alex seems to be working on me because I haven't really been, had any interest in getting a VR rig, headset, what have you, and now I see every time I watch the trailer I'm like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Were his biceps exposed in the last one? I don't think so.


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[Assistant] Yeah, my monitors went up, but my computer stayed on, so I was like...


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[Assistant] Yeah, I played it a lot when I was unemployed after I moved to LA and for some reason I thought it would be a good idea to just do it standing. So I was staying in an Airbnb right after I moved here and I would just stack up all the books and stuff I had and put the TV up and then just get fucking...


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[Assistant] Yeah, I'm into it. Sounds like Dying Light, with the parkour and fighting all together. A little bit.


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[Assistant] He would just come in and brief us on what was happening in DeathStream and we'd be like, is it a game? He'd go, yeah.


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[Assistant] Yeah, for the most part. Inside Gaming was very cool on it. I mean warm on it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I'd like to take this opportunity to announce tomorrow coming out as the Inside Gaming IKEA show. Uhm, which is kind of a similar concept, but done like probably better.


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[Assistant] A big fan. Do you shower with that? Oh yeaah. And more.


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[Assistant] It's anyone's guess. Watch the dailies. I mean, like, we're consistently putting up really funny dailies. It doesn't matter if you're familiar with the story or if you have never heard of the things we're talking about. We try to make it just fun to watch. I mean, like, our favorite thing is just swapping the bits back and forth that we added into the episode.


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[Assistant] Not that the story is secondary, however.


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[Assistant] My eyes are my dir- I was gonna say my eyes are my directors of photography.


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[Assistant] Oh, so like, if you're in a, sorry, if you're an immune person, you can go on this one plane.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The, uhm, like, the crown, the crown or something.


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[Assistant] Yeaah, and I already have a lot of responsibility.


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[Assistant] It's probably been four or five years since I've been to a hookah bar.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Or they gave you the Captain America Super Serum, they were like, hey he's crony, hey


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well I picture a scenario where there's just like, there's, you know, people in masks and gloves waiting on Todd.


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[Assistant] There's a question you have in your notes Adam that I thought was really interesting.


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[Assistant] And you have to look really close, cause they're spooning, and if you look close, you can kinda see her struggling.


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[Assistant] Todd, would your wife, if you were infected, would she be like, I'll care for you, Todd, I will support you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, it's like, you know that, that always goes around the internet, that like meme of the horse drawing, where like the top of the horse is like beautifully drawn, but then they clearly just like bone in the rest. It's like a stick figure by the end of it. That's like movies like that, that try to meet up and then don't execute.


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[Assistant] How would you describe your type of stand-up? Like observational? Pretty wacky!


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[Assistant] So you're telling me the character of Jennifer Lopez in Hustlers was not based off of your wife. Is that what you're saying?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, what I wanted to say was that I feel like you are one of the, the best.


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[Assistant] The worst in that you are one of the best kept secrets at Rooster Teeth, because you're by far one of the funniest people there, but a lot of the general audience might not know that you work at Rooster Teeth or


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do you, uhm, do you look down at our theater modes then that are not pre-written?


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[Assistant] My favorite thing about that is you do what I do. Which is...


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[Assistant] You're showing people this and you just have unbridled joy on your face. And I am so guilty of that myself. But I love it. I think it's so cute. So endearing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, that was me. No, I mean that, that was not it. I think, uh, Josh especially was like very much in awe of how talented you are.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Pretty cool. I just say, look on Todd's face, skeptical. I can tell he's not happy with this news. He's from a coal town.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I sent you an article about Michael Jordan's watch collection. It describes one watch that he owns, which is a watch made with real tires.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] From like formula one race cars that have won. So even his watch is a winner. Like he accepts no less.


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[Assistant] Part one of two, we're touring half of the islands in this first video and then we'll see the rest of our Animal Crossing Funhouse Players Islands in the second follow up video.


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[Assistant] Joel's doing great. Joel's thriving right now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There it is, is it, oh that one.


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[Assistant] Uh, let's see if you get it loaded over there. Should I, should I go to it now? Yeah, you can go to it now. Okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, here Elyse, I'm gonna swap with you. Awww. Alright Lindsay, you gotta help me out.


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[Assistant] So if you're listening to it Thursday and thereafter, might feel a little dated. Welcome to the hula house. I'm your host Elise Willems. I am joined by two wonderful friends today, sometimes lover, James Willems.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wow, we'll see. James, hi, thanks for being here.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm also joined today by John Smith who-


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[Assistant] Well, did we talk about this, John, about how like, if you go and you look back at all the America's Next Top Model stuff she made those women do, it was horrific? Well, that's-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I will say we have a friend who works for Guy Fieri. I'm not going to say in what capacity because I don't want to out him, but he's only said positive things about Guy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Dildos and whatever else might be in the back of that pickup. We don't know.


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[Assistant] We're here because we're talking about, I have a few stories and then I just kinda wanted to talk about you guys on a personal level.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Once we get through that, uh, so, so viewers and listeners, stick around for that. But first up, a story that I came across on Sunday.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, pertains to football, soccer, if you will, for the layman.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, FC Seoul. Is it football or soccer? It's football because it's international and the way that we're discussing it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] FC Seoul, who is a, uh, K League Korean club.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They had to apologize on Facebook and Instagram after posing sex dolls in their stadiums as fans. So as sporting events returned to stadiums,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And arenas, clubs and leagues are facing a common problem which is how do you account for all these empty seats that you see on broadcasts?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] FC Seoul had a company named Dalcom reach out to them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And they said, we can help you fill the empty seats, uh, with some of our mannequins, this company Dalcom, but one of Dalcom's suppliers is a sex toy company, which they didn't mention to FC Seoul.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So when they were like, oh, we have all these mannequins we can give you, they're really like sex dolls. Nick, could you give us some of the images?


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[Assistant] Let me, I didn't get through explaining all the details of this so you might feel differently once I do, but a lot of these, which I also don't understand because a lot of these dolls had


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[Assistant] So, uh, that I think was part of the reason they apologized because they were broadcasting, you know, with what was this family-friendly...


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[Assistant] Uh, general, they were broadcasting, advertising, answering websites, but what I don't understand is how no one read any of, like, like,


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[Assistant] It's not like, it's not like we, you know, an American team got a bunch of imported Korean sex dolls and didn't know what any of the lettering on them said.


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[Assistant] Well apparently, DowCom, the company that, that, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] All up in their butts about this. There's, there's a great comedic element, sense of humor about oneself.


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[Assistant] Nick show us the, like, he show us the pictures again. So some of them did have...


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[Assistant] You know what I don't like when I'm at a concert and you see mid-tier seats that are empty and the people sitting in the nosebleeds?


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[Assistant] It might be comparable to that airline recently that wouldn't let that dude go sit in one of the economy plus seats or whatever because they argued that it devalued the seat.


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[Assistant] Uh, their, their rationale was, well, if you were, if you were buying a


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A con, a Honda Civic, we wouldn't just give you a Ferrari because we have them available.


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[Assistant] Only two blowjobs per sex doll to get in. What I think these sex dolls are really doing is serving as a demonstration to us as to what we should expect in terms of our etiquette when we do return to arenas and public events like this. Those sex dolls were all sitting socially distanced.


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[Assistant] I remember they were demonstrating the seats where you're basically standing the whole time. Yeah. Against the wall.


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[Assistant] Rumors are swirling that Tenet is just as good as Inception.


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[Assistant] Yeah, well, he's effectively taking that same, you know, arc that you would have drawn when you were a kid and you were learning about story and climax and denouement and all that and he's just like taking it to the next level on steroids.


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[Assistant] It's locked in, but then that creates problems because stuff that he could have resolved with editing.


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[Assistant] If it, if it felt like it was dragging or he, he couldn't probably have done it. He would have thought it was weakness.


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[Assistant] So you guys think that the sex doll company was in the wrong or FC Seoul?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, well, I think everyone was wrong.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay. I think that, I think Dalcom knew that they were like, they were like, well we know that they're sex, we know that they were like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We just don't mention the sex dolls stuff. We put the onus on them to take off all the insignia and headbands and logos and stuff. But then, SC Soul, like, they should have realized they were sex dolls.


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[Assistant] We're all stuck at home right now and probably not thinking too much about internet privacy on our home networks.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wrong! Even in incognito mode, your online activity can still be traced. Even if you clear your browser history, your internet service provider can still see every single website that you visited. Uh, that's why even when I'm at home, I never go online without using ExpressVPN. Cause I need my privacy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] ExpressVPN makes sure your ISP, that's internet service provider, can't see what sites you visit. Instead, your internet connection is re-rided through ExpressVPN secure servers. Each ExpressVPN server has an IP address that's shared among thousands of viewers. That means everything you do is anonymous and can't be traced back to you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It also encrypts 100% of your data with best in-class encryption so your information is always protected.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Use the internet with confidence from your computer, tablet or smartphone. ExpressVPN has you covered on every device you use. Simply tap one button and you're protected.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And you can get an extra three months free on a one year package. That's EXPRESSVPN.com slash dude.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I hope my brain isn't working too hard to do this podcast. I'd be very disappointed in myself.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, this next story is about Club Penguin Online. Now, you may remember Club Penguin. It got shut down in 2017. It reached its peak with 200 million users.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This was the unofficial fan server that carried the torch for this, this multiplayer casual game.


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[Assistant] It got shut down on Friday. Surprise, surprise. Walt Disney Company issued a takedown because they, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I remember one of my friends, she, when we were in high school, her


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] 16 years older than this kid. So when we were in college, or not, not college, I guess it would have been just after college. I remember going to her place and her brother.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, so Club Penguin Online was a successor and


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[Assistant] It amassed 8 million users over two years because people were looking to fill this Club Penguin void.


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[Assistant] Uh, but recently it's surged with another 1 million users because of coronavirus.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The company. I wonder if coronavirus, if it hadn't had happened and people were still distracted and the surge hadn't happened, if, if it would have.


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[Assistant] Been on Disney's radar, but the BBC also investigated Club Penguin recently because they found that it was exposing children and teens to explicit sexual and racist messages. Oh, okay. Uhm, so Disney stepped in and they, they said that child safety is a priority of theirs and they're appalled by the activity and they're shutting it down. Some of the things that were happening on the platform were not great, uh, you know, there, there weren't any, any, yeah, any of the, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The maintenance of the site happened through volunteers, basically.


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[Assistant] The BBC found that people were using, you know, racist, antisemitic, homophobic language, they were using bigoted language, the filters weren't working for offensive language.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In one instance, a user decorated their igloo to spell out the, their igloo to spell out the N word.


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[Assistant] I guess it would have to be right, it's like my penguin avatar walks up to yours and just like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He probably missed came out. Yeaah.


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[Assistant] Well, someone with a sixth sense of humor might think that they're funny.


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[Assistant] I think there's other examples that are maybe air toward the negative, cause there's stuff that I really like that is the collective hive mind, like Twitch plays Pokemon.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think it's like a good example of the collective mind.


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[Assistant] Doing something creative and productive. There's the vote that got Pitbull sent to the Walmart in Alaska.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, but both of you are familiar with the robot, the Canada robot that got sent across the country.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Such a bummer, it got, it went across Canada, this robot, I forget, I forget his name, but he got, and he, he would stop, stop by strangers and kind of rely on strangers to help him along and keep him going on his journey.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Then he went to America and immediately got like trashed and fucked up.


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[Assistant] And that's- that's depressing. Uhm, I have a-


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[Assistant] Is bad, I don't think Canada is, uh, perfect.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, well I think that people thought, you know, that if we were in trouble, that robot would help us. It's socialized healthcare. Yeah, exactly.


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[Assistant] You know? We're rolling this together. I have a bit of a conspiracy question to ask both of you regarding this story. Did you say conspiracy?


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[Assistant] Uh, so my question is, Disney launched this takedown from pure


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[Assistant] Moral standpoint, and they're very protective of their IP, they don't want anything untoward done with their IP, but they're-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Could Disney have seen the surge in popularity during coronavirus and said, we don't want someone else profiting off of our IP, our platform, we should be pushing our own social platform during this?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wait, I'm sorry to interrupt you. You didn't know the word pivoting until you...


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[Assistant] So yea, I guess there were like, you know, there were books, like John was saying, like all the other shoulder stuff spawned off from it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, R.I.P. Club Penguin, part two. Uhm, I wonder when we'll see Club Penguin again. In our future, maybe.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's great because you said Nathan Lane, but then my brain immediately went Nathan Fillion.


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[Assistant] And I thought, okay, he's just making a joke because, but Nathan, Nathan Lane, I don't want to be tied to the, well that sounds more like John Mulaney.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I could clear the savannah after every meal. Oh, Nathan Lane, I'm thinking Nathan Fillion again.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We're gonna talk about more Nathan Lane news. What's he up to right now? Uh, actually.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I did read some Nathan Lane stuff recently because he was talking about when he kind of got outed.


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[Assistant] He got outed and it was really hard for him, but then everyone in Hollywood was like, we know. Which it doesn't, it doesn't excuse it because you shouldn't be outing people when they're ready, before they're ready to come out. You know, themselves publicly. But anyway.


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[Assistant] Before we get to more Nathan Lane news and then what else we're talking about today.


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[Assistant] Our good friend Adam has a message from bespokepost in their box of awesome. Take it away, Adam.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He was. He was. And I think that maybe his bespoke box of awesome has something to do with it. When you're excited about what you're gonna get every single month.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, thank you, Adam, for, uh, your anecdote, your cool words.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Love these hula house, James, James bought Zach, Anna, uh, some hula house stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's in Zach and his mom cause he messaged us and he was like, what, I think, what did he ask? Like what size his mom would need? He's like, he's like, I want to get some hula house stuff from my mom. And we were like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] With the quarantine stuff, uhm. Oprah doesn't retrain.


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[Assistant] And it's called Korin Talk. I don't have a fancy graphic for it, so Nick, if you'll just show the blow-up dolls in the stadium again.


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[Assistant] Because it's hard right now to avoid talking about coronavirus, to avoid talking about quarantine and work from home. It's just such a part of life now. I don't want it to be the entire focus of the podcast.


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[Assistant] But I thought if we approached it in a positive way or an interesting way, we could still just talk about what our lives are like now.


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[Assistant] So I wanted to ask you guys something that maybe...


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[Assistant] You've learned about yourself while in quarantine and I'll preface this by telling you I saw a, I read an article recently that really didn't


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[Assistant] A very apt job of sort of summarizing how I've been feeling lately in a way that I couldn't pinpoint.


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[Assistant] Which was that we're experiencing this wave of nostalgia right now.


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[Assistant] And maybe you guys haven't been experiencing this, but it's been big for me.


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[Assistant] For maybe like childhood or adolescence, I have felt since this sort of started like we were on a weird twisted summer vacation, summer holiday.


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[Assistant] Because, not going to work, staying home a lot.


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[Assistant] But still going to work really working a lot actually, but it's just this feeling of like I'm on summer vacation. You know, the feeling of like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's how I kinda feel since we've been in quarantine, where I'm like,


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[Assistant] And it coincided with summer, with the warm weather coming, and then I read an article saying that this time that we're spending alone is


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[Assistant] Inspiring and facilitating a lot of self-reflection.


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[Assistant] Because that's, you know, kind of what people only have to do right now is to look inward, right? So people are, are developing a lot of nostalgia.


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[Assistant] They're looking for things that are comforting them. I was talking with one of my friends about this and she said, I haven't been watching anything new. Me and my boyfriend have only been going back and rewatching all the shows that we know and love.


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[Assistant] Because we're looking for that comfort and nostalgia. And for me, I just feel like.


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[Assistant] I'm doing a lot of self-reflection too. I'm, I'm doing weird stuff, like I...


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[Assistant] I bought a color of nail, the kind of like, the color of nail polish that my


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[Assistant] Uh, girlfriends and I would all, one summer we all wore this color of nail polish cause it was like the color we were all, I like bought it and was wearing it again on my like toenails and I like.


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[Assistant] That's awesome. And you made a tweet calling on people, you said, hey, who wants to do a game jam with me? And for our viewers and listeners, if you've never heard of what a game jam is, it's where people get together for like 24, 48 hours and just crush out a game.


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[Assistant] And I responded and I said, dude, stop subtweeting me. Just text me.


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[Assistant] I think like for me, I'm, I'm really good in I think a professional environment of, of closing on stuff because I, I feel the, but then in my personal creative life, I'm like, I wish I was a little bit more, but I do think that for me, this quarantine has been an introspective experience in that I've


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[Assistant] I've thought about a lot of things in my life that I want to be certain ways, especially after we're through this. And I probably wouldn't have...


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[Assistant] Taking the time, my mind, our minds are usually distracted by a hundred other things.


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[Assistant] Where does your brain go? It goes toward yourself. Another thing in that article that I thought was really interesting when they talked about


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, you might feel like you're back in high school or experiencing some kind of nostalgic time in your life.


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[Assistant] Was because we're effectively limited in the things that we can do and places we can go much like we would have been when we were, you know, 14 years old.


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[Assistant] And our parents controlled where we were going or our age dictated where we were going or, you know, and it's-


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[Assistant] Definitely get an appreciation for people when you can't see them. You know, you don't know.


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[Assistant] While John is getting a hug from Connor, we're gonna hear a word from me about how you can start taking care of yourself right now, you know, on an emotional level. So take it away me.


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[Assistant] Hey everybody, so with everything that's going on in the world right now, it's more important than ever to care for one another. Whether it's a friend you see every day or family you don't get to see enough, we can all feel pretty isolated and overwhelmed during this current crisis.


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[Assistant] So be sure to check up on your friends, checking on your loved ones, but also check up on yourself because that's the most important place to start. Give a call to someone you love, reach out, offer your support to someone else who might really need it and you can get their support in return. We want to remind you at Funhaus that if you need support,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You can reach out to NAMI, the nation's largest grassroots mental health organization, to get support for yourself and learn how to support others too, which is really important right now. You can visit NAMI.org or call 1-800-950-NAMI, that's 6264, because you're not alone.


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[Assistant] Elise, that was beautiful. Thank you for those words. Thank you Elise. Thank you Nami as well for helping us during this difficult time with your, your advice.


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[Assistant] So it sounds like you guys, you talked a little bit, John, about like kind of like hobbies and stuff that you're picking up. My next question was like, do you guys feel like during this time?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A reflection of isolation that you're taking on new hobbies or starting to develop any new skills.


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[Assistant] Can you impart with to us a piece of knowledge that you have learned from one of these?


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[Assistant] I don't think I typically like, in my mind, uh, you know, read out, like, hear words.


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[Assistant] But I also am really guilty of like speed reading to my own detriment where I think I skip pieces of information because I am just like doing a snapshot.


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[Assistant] Chase gave me a test, a speed reading test.


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[Assistant] Uhm, I have some stuff that I was working on prior to quarantine, like writing stuff that I'm still like plugging away at that hasn't really changed.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, my personal introspection has...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Maybe I should start running. Like maybe that should be my thing. Like I'm always, I'm running from my problem.


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[Assistant] Why don't I run from, you know, the exercise? Uh, so I like was like, okay, that's kind of going to be it. And I think about it in terms of like James is saying your commute when you think


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Man, even if I go out there and I run for like 15 minutes, that would have just been my drive to work.


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[Assistant] You know, it's a no harm no foul foul, oh my god, no harm no foul situation.


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[Assistant] And, uh, I think it's been tough because at the very front of this quarantine, it was tough for us to get into a rhythm with work from home and transitioning our setups.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And dealing with all that, so we were working longer hours, we were working a lot on weekends, but now I feel like in a pretty good spot.


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[Assistant] In addition to the game development.


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[Assistant] I know, I, I do think like these little silver linings are nice though.


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[Assistant] Are there bad behaviors that with the rock band Guitar Hero you picked up that now?


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[Assistant] You have to kind of abandon or relearn.


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[Assistant] I mean, I know it's obviously not one to one, but just, uh.


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[Assistant] Let me tell you, I don't know how to play guitar. I played clarinet for years and I bring that into my peach harvest performances clearly.


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[Assistant] I, I am pseudo ambidextrous, not in that I write with both hands, but my body doesn't sometimes, like I swing left handed, everything, you know.


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[Assistant] And uh, if I was gonna, a lot of, you know, most, uh, Muppet performers, they have their


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right hand, they have their dominant hand. You'll see all Muppets are left handed because they have their dominant right hand up in the puppet and working the mouth and then they have their left hand controlling the arm.


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[Assistant] I'm the opposite, so like, my think, my comfortable feeling would be to put this, my left hand up into the puppet mouth. You'll notice that with Eagle the puppet, it's my left hand in it. So with, I don't know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What the right way to hold, like, my, my, you know, if I saw you holding a guitar, I'd go, okay, that's the right way to hold it. But if you just hand me a guitar and said, hold this the right way.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is it this way? Is it this way? I don't know. I don't even know that much because my body's confused.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So like, to me, the natural way to hold a guitar would be to this side. But is that correct? Like strum with my fingers?


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[Assistant] That was right handed, okay. But then I also feel like if I wanted to, I could hold it this way.


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[Assistant] Cause I remember, uh, we played ukulele once in like middle school.


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[Assistant] And my teacher every time would be like, flip it around, flip it around. Cause I would pick it up and I would hold it like that. Okay, let's get to know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's cool. Well I'm glad that everybody's kind of in a better place and finding these little silver linings right now, cause that's really important.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you at home are having trouble finding silver linings, let Funhaus help you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause we're trying, we're still trying to make great content. It's gonna be a distraction, respite to some of the...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Shittiness that's going on. We got Kinda Funhouse Week coming up May 25th through 31st where we're doing a bunch of collabs with Kinda Funny. We got John Smith on recorder.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But yea, we've got kind of fun house week coming up. There's a really awesome t-shirt. It's going on sale on Monday the 25th for that. I'm really excited to get it. It's not the hula house tank.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Also, if you missed the live stream of this is your show now, the John Smith joint.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's gonna be coming to the channel in a few weeks. Just hold tight. Oh really?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it's on its way. I think the weekend of June 6th, I think.


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[Assistant] That's it for, that's it for this week. That's it for me! That's it for this week, well.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, Nicholas may not have the hot sex doll pictures.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Going on. Thank you to the first members hanging out in chat. We appreciate you. And yeaah, that's our show for this week.


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[Assistant] The world is coming to an end and only a billionaire with a heart of gold can save us. Literally. He had a surgery where he replaced his organic heart with a precious metal like it was nothing. Too bad no one was willing to save everyone's favorite mobile game trivia show from 2018 though. All this and more on our- wait, where the hell are we bowling? Dude's soup. Look at this place.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's Pralinger, it's free, they can, no one can charge us a dime for eating that. All those people are dead. Is that how it works? That's how it works. And fascist. All those people are dead. Uhm, hey everybody, thank you for joining us for another episode of Dude Soup. Uhm, just a heads up, we are in a


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just a heads up, we are in a different location. We're in Austin, recording from Austin this time. They don't care. They don't care, but I just want to let you know why it may sound a little bit different. It might look a little bit different. And we also have some special guests. Adam Kovac here. Hi. You've seen him, you know him.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But, taking advantage of the fact that we're in Austin, we've got some very sweet Austin guests here. Todd Womack, Gusarola. Thank you guys for joining us. Thank you for having us.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I'm very excited. Thank you for replying to the email. I was gonna say, just so you know, someone was invited and declined, but I won't say...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So just so, just so the record is clear, I want everyone watching and listening to know that someone had the opportunity to be on ToonSurf and declined.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah, still got it. Charlize Theron didn't want to dance down the stairs. She didn't want to. Third string. Real quick before we get started, uh, I just want to mention that this episode is brought to you by Honey, Quip, and ExpressVPN. So get Honey for free at joinhoney.com slash dude.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, go to getquip.com slash dude right now and get your first refill free.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And visit ExpressVPN.com slash dude to get an extra three months of ExpressVPN for free. That's a lot of free stuff. Just for going to a website slash dude. It's easy. You should try that with any website. See if it works.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I feel like the only angle you could look at God's asshole would be up, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Pooping down upon us. Or he's a giant.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. Oh yeah. You guys use it? I did briefly in, when was it, 2017? I don't remember. I went to go look and I was like, man time flies.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah. It was huge. It was, it was. You could win pennies. You could win pennies. Which then sometimes would amount to dollars if you played long enough. I think we had like a day at the LA office where it was like, guys!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't think, I don't think I ever played it. I would play with someone else, someone who already had it. I would like do it or whatever. That's cheating. But it was like a phenomenon. Yea, it was cheating. You're not supposed to do that. But our collective knowledge acquired us literal pennies. Uhm, I know Josh Flanagan was into it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A lot. But he has nothing but time. Uhm, well, either way.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It went bankrupt. Oh, is that why you brought it up? That's why I brought it up, yea.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, please. I just, I mean, it's interesting. It just literally happened, I guess, last week. They had their last show.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I just assumed it was one of those things that just kind of come and go, like an internet thing. Adam mentioned Flappy Bird. Like, there's other stuff like that that just kind of cuts away the age we live in. Like Microsoft. Yeah, like Microsoft. You won't see that around anymore.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But, uh, it turns out, yea, it was a little bit more seedy than that. I guess the two guys who founded it...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was gonna say, cause one of them's dead. Oh yeah, that happened too. One of them's dead. Either way, they tried to get a lot of venture capital. They could never raise any money because no one with the, I guess...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That was it. They'd be set. There you go. They just do one or two. Um, but yeah, so then it gets, they never raised any money and then they just kind of.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I guess they didn't, they knew they were ending and that the last of their funding was completely gone so they knew they were going to do one and I, the last episode was just a shit show where they were asking questions, none of the questions mattered, no one cared and they poured stuff out and I think they poured champagne on each other.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I just always imagine one of those things that's like, alright, well that's the end of the stream, kinda like the end of this. You go, well that's the end of the stream, and then it cut, and then the guy who's bankrupt now, he goes, great show guys, fantastic work out there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That is a great question. I don't know what it is.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, we'll find it. I'll bring it up, but I can't make any promises.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I feel like those types of things happen when everyone is surprised. When everyone's like, what are you talking about? We're like, we're killing ourselves and now something bad is happening. It feels like the HQ trivia thing was they just knew.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you're just a useful piece of information, if you are ever sent to another building to talk to an employee who is the only one that remains there, just put your right hand against the right wall and always keep it there and eventually you'll find your way to the center. That's the secret to navigating a cubicle maze.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was like, I was like, I was like, not a lot of people on this invite. I was like, either it's just


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It just seems like there has to be a better way. I want things to go out the HQ trivia way.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wait, so the mob runs Google?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. You keep walking. You got it, sir. And we did. Yeah, you guys know the deal. Oh wow. Speaking of murder. Rip. HQ trivia. I just thought if I hadn't thought of it, and I saw it pop up, and I was like, wow, I hadn't even thought about this thing. Yeah, it had been a year or two. It had been a while. Do I still have it on my phone? Is that your phone?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, yeah, you still got it. I think they, probably some Russians, the only reason they went this long is probably because of Russian money or something. Some oligarch has your...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] As your information, they know how stupid or smart you are.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The CEO of Amazon and the richest man in the world has decided to just buy it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He just decided to buy the world. Oh, nice. So, 10 billion dollars. We all, uh, pay rent. He's buying the world, maybe.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, I don't know what he's making a day.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Bezos. Bezos. It's, uh, Bezos, eh, he is the richest man and then I guess Bill Gates is the second. He's like 15 billion less or something like that. Uhm, we're trying to figure out where his action is.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I wanna see, at some point I wanna see a picture of Bezos doing this at Bill Gates. He's like, look how poor you are. We can make it happen, right? Come on guys. Either way, basically what happened is- Hey, it's you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Essentially, ten billion dollars he's devoting to fight climate change.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is he investing in oceans or something? Funds. It's like the Bezos World Fund. And so he's gonna be, I think it's grants. I saw this episode of Seinfeld.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah. He's just giving out cards at the office.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I played a Blockbuster board game. There's a board game. It's essentially a movie trivia game. And it's, but it's called Blockbuster and it comes in like a big VHS box or whatever. I'm like, oh, this is cool. Like it's good theming and stuff. And it's essentially just a way to rebrand a trivia game.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Except then you open it up and for whatever reason the board is a parking lot?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The board is a parking lot with just a big sign for Blockbuster in the top.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And in the instructions it's like, the parking lot, and I'm like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Was that ever a thing? Was like Blockbuster parking lots a thing? There was a store you could have set this in. There was a store.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The parking lot, like the parking lot is like, that's how you set, like the cards have different gimmicks and stuff, so like there's a card that you have to do charades, a card that you have to do whatever, sound effects, and like you set it by theme, so it literally is how the store was set up, but it's a parking lot.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it's one of those monkeys that normally clap the cymbals but he's holding a knife and he's got scary eyes. But I'm pretty sure we all live in a movie.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I thought, well I was, I had a moment, I was like, maybe I'm just not, maybe my experience with Blockbuster is different. Maybe it took place mostly in the store.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, I mean the game is like basically you pull out, you draw cards and it's two teams and then you play the cards face down and they have different movie titles on them and then you turn it over and one of them has to be done by charades. So it's like Titanic or whatever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If I could go to any point in time, it would be to one of two points in time. One would be to inevitably be in a meeting where some blockbuster executive said, we're gonna be rich forever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Or two, to the point in time when Jesus got pissed off at the temple and flipped over all those tables.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In the Bible, you know the story, the one time Jesus gets angry, there's a bunch of money lenders and stuff that they're set up in a temple. It's a story from the Bible, and he's just so upset to see it that he started turning over tables. I would love, man, I'd love to see that. You wanna see pissed off Jesus? I wanna see Jesus screaming and shouting and turning over tables.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But that's only if you know what Jesus has become. I think it's the other way. I think he was throwing rocks. I think he was like causing black eyes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You don't hurt. You forgive. Kind of the same way honey saves you money.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Honey is the free online shopping tool that automatically finds the best promo codes on items already in your cart to save you money in the most action movie way possible.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It genuinely feels good to save with honey because you don't have to think about digging for coupons. You just buy the items you want to buy, put them in, in my case, uh, I bought a new pair of jeans, uh, or maybe a tub of protein.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And boom, the savings are applied automatically before I check out right under the wire exactly how I like it and exactly how I live my life.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's easy to assume that when you're shopping online, you're getting the best deal, but with support for over 30,000 stores like Macy's, Target, Best Buy, plus more every single day, you might be leaving money on the table.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Using Honey feels pretty great. It's, uh, like a little daily victory. Plus, it's free to use and installs in just a few seconds, so get Honey for free at joinhoney.com slash dude. That's joinhoney.com slash du.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So thank you, honey, uh, very much for your sponsorship. Uhm, yeaah, we didn't really talk about Bezos. So he's devoted.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's money he's going to give away. I think, like, scientists can apply for grants for solutions to figure out how to slow or stop.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well that's the other side of it too is a lot of people are like, so is 10 billion enough to counteract what you've already done with your company? It's a little unclear. Uhm, I know back in April a bunch of Amazon employees like signed this letter and they were like, this company is killing the planet.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know. Some people are saying like optically this is better than if he just silently started making his company more energy efficient and renewable and stuff like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I have, I have an even wilder theory why this is happening. So you think maybe he wants to do presidential run? You think he saw the good place he's trying to get into heaven?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But why, what does him know good if it's just a burnt up wasteland, right? Like, I think Bezos has figured out


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You don't look, you don't look like evil. He looks evil.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think he's on a spending spree because he also recently bought the most expensive home in Los Angeles. It was like $165 million. $165 million was someone did the math and said it is 1 eighth of a percent of his entire net worth.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, it was, uh, David Geffens, I think. Okay. Which, that must be a thing, right? Wow. Like, to be like, I got this house.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] 165 million dollar house burning a hole in my pocket, but who's gonna buy it? And then he's like, I will. The richest man in the world, you saved me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The Invisible Man movie that's coming out, uh, in I guess a couple months or something like that. It's with the woman from, it's the woman from Mad Men, um, and Handmaid's Tale. No, no, no, Peggy. The other one, Handmaid's Tale. I forget her name.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The billboards are phase one. I think phase two is they're just gonna have marketing people driving around behind you and everyone's gonna have to flash their high beams and honk their horn.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You wrote her off so quickly, and that's exactly what happens to Elizabeth Moss in Invisible Man, not the sponsor of this episode.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's during the transformation. He like knocks the towel off and then you just see a dick without any skin and veins and stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My only let down is that yea, I was supposed to be Johnny Depp in an extension. This was supposed to be the next one in the sequel to the Tom Cruise Mummy movie. They were, cause they were doing their old MCU thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Roy. Yeah, that was him. Which is the name. There's a human being out there who we just called him. It's like I've been in several productions. You just called me Roy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, all I can tell you is I hope that when invisible man comes up and breathes in my face, he's got good breath because he's been brushing his teeth using quip toothbrushes. Do you know the one thing that matters most as it pertains to your dental care? Good habits.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Quip makers of the Quip electric toothbrush makes brushing your teeth for two minutes twice a day and flossing regularly simple and convenient.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Quip's electric toothbrush has sensitive, sonic vibrations and a built-in timer to guide your mouth to a full and even clean.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The Quip Floss Dispenser comes with pre-marked string to help you use precisely the right amount. Plus, Quip delivers fresh brush heads, floss, and toothpaste to your door with free shipping so you never have to break your routine.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Join over 3 million healthy mouths and get Quip today starting at just $25. If you go to getquip.com slash dude right now, you'll get your first refill for free. That's your first refill free at getquip.com slash dude. G-E-T-Q-U-I-P dot com slash dude. Quip. The Good Habits Company.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're a master. So thank you, Quip, very much for your sponsorship. Yeah, I don't know, I don't know how we got from Bezo saving the planet to... Brightburn. Brightburn. So 10 billion dollars.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, he doesn't, that's the thing, he doesn't know the value of money. So you're like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Mr. Bezos, you know, like 10 billion dollars, I couldn't possibly, I don't know what I would do with 10 billion dollars, but for 1.5 million, I feel like I could make one of those things between two liter bottles that creates a typhoon. That'll save us. And he goes, he goes, well that's basically nothing, but it's only 1.5 million dollars, so here you go.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's how we stop climate change, is we make it entertaining.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] People don't wanna see nerds in lab coats. No, they want MrBeast. Crunching numbers. They want people putting their hand...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I think someone will change it. It's the best forever. Well, the problem is anytime I watch those things, like even others with cars or whatever, the person who loses it, it's the most anticlimactic set. Like they're just, they're there and they've been there for eight days and their arm is numb. And then at a certain point they just go like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, yeah. If I can, if I have to use a diaper and then immediately take off the diaper and clean myself, what's the point?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, every single time they're like, Harry, just step into the fireplace, it'll transport you to the festival. He goes, oh, I don't think so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, well that's nice and disgusting.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, uhm, she, she did. She relaxed, she relaxed in her bathtub in a, in a nice, it's just her way of unwinding, but people are kind of freaking out about it. Uhm, and it's because her bathtub is filled with hot Cheetos.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's special effects. You think that's special effects? That's after.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I assume there's why, it looks like there's liquid in there, right? But, so the caption is basically, OMG, so needed this after, so needed after this stressful day. Cry face.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But don't you feel like, you know, talking about diapers and stuff, like I feel like this is gonna be in you and on you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] She's like, all right, I'm going to put on a bathing suit or whatever and then climb in there. It's still not, it's still not, that's not a seal. You got something. That's not watertight. None of us are.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] All at once. Everything's burning. Is there anything you guys would wanna like bathe in? Unconventional things you guys would wanna bathe in?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Here's, I don't, whatever it would be, I mean, you're, in your scenario, you want to be able to consume while enjoying it. So like, I mean, I feel like I would do one lap forward. You start, it's like an Olympic.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Swimming pool. And you just started on one side and you'd go and then you could drink as much as you want until you got to the other side. I wouldn't want to go back. Then it's contaminated. Oh yeah, that's me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When do you think the last time Bezos counted anything in the thousands? Unless it was thousands of millions.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, like, which ones? Yeah, he has, I mean, yeah, I mean, I think he has a, what, a GDP on, on horror with like a...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He could buy a lot of Costa Ricans. All of Africa? I don't know about all of Africa.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Waiting for 45 minutes and after 45 minutes someone will get to the front of the line


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Maybe you could go to Germany from the safety of your own home using ExpressVPN.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Would you park your car in a strange neighborhood without locking your doors?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Would you go to an Incubus concert if your wallet wasn't chained to your Jinkos? Then you shouldn't use the internet without some protection. Luckily, ExpressVPN's got you covered.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] ExpressVPN is a secure tunnel between your device and the internet used to protect your online traffic from snooping, interference, and censorship. It also acts as a proxy allowing you to mask or change your location and surf the web anonymously from wherever you want.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] VPNs aren't just for back alley hackers like crash override or acid burn anymore. ExpressVPN works on all your devices and offers 24 hour support so you'll always be protected.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] IP masking, best-in-class encryption, the option to choose from over 160 VPN server locations in 94 countries, and a 100% risk-free 30-day money-back guarantee makes ExpressVPN the best option to keep your privacy private.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you visit our special link right now, ExpressVPN.com slash dude, you can get an extra three months of ExpressVPN for free.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I actually, I always wanted to be on that show. I like that show a lot. Oh, thanks. Yeah. Cause I never really, I never really, I, I never, even at that point I had never really worked with you or anything. Um, I, I knew you were,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I knew you, knew of you, but never really, we didn't really have any interactions or whatever. And I watched the show, I was like, ah, this guy's really funny. I was like, I was like confused how it was.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've always been inspired by it, which is why I like to have a little trivia of my own.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so, uh, it's about that time. We're about to wrap up this podcast before we go. I always like to, you know, use this as an opportunity to make sure people can learn.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I had a long running segment on the show called Countdown to Cats.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Where I would, uhm, basically create trivia questions. It was designed to inform knowledge, uh, learning through testing, uhm, to teach people about cats, a property that just didn't have enough awareness, I guess. And so now that cats has come and gone, a huge success, I decided to move on to the next thing that I think could use my help. And it's called Mountup for Morbius.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That is great. Well, uhm, so, without further ado, I'd love to invite you guys to play this week's Mountup for Morbius. Uhm, I'm gonna ask you guys a series of questions. Okay. And then, uhm, and you just, again, it's about learning.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, first question. What is Morbius's real name?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it's gonna be a multiple choice. So you can hit the button again, we'll see the options. Is it Marvin Morbius, Morbin Marvius, Michael Morbius, or Morkel Mibius?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Let's say Michael Morbius. I'm gonna go with Marvin Morbius.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's 30- Yeah, he's playing- he's playing Michael Morbius.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Morbius first appeared in what issue of Amazing Spider-Man? There's no multiple- Okay, it's 101.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He was Man Spider, he and Lizard teamed up to fight against Michael Morbius. And whatever, who cares. Alright, let's move on.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is your segment, you're there. I do care, you're right, it's about learning. Alright, which of these is not one of Morbius' supernatural abilities? Let's see the options.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Weather manipulation. Superhuman strength. Hypnotism.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Weather manipulation, alright. He can't do, he can fly. He can fly, but he can not manipulate the weather.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Let's move on. Only a few more questions here. Alright. Where did little baby Morbius grow up? Let's see the options here.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, well alright. Alright, let's move on. Okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The middle, the south one, south, south Greece. He's really messing with his statistics on the centenarians. Wherever the 300 Spartans. Alright. Every great hero needs a great villain.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Isn't Morbius a villain? He's like a hero of his own story. Okay. Alright. Which of these is Morbius' rival and which is just a dumb name I made up? So you need to pick two? Let's see the options. There's gonna be two options here.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Lokeshius Crown or Dietrich Moxley?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And the other is a name I made up. Is that, is that the rival there? That's a photo, yea, that's a, that's an image of him, yes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Let's see the correct answer Morbius' rival is. Uuuh, Locius Crown!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, yeaah, but some of them didn't sa- they didn't match that guy enough. I needed- I needed that. Alright. I think we have one more- I think there's one more question.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes, okay. What is Morbius also known as? There is no multiple choice here. This is just pulling from your memory. Is this, wait, my memory? He's also known as Michael.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The Superintendent, let's see the correct answer. The Living Vampire, and then I wrote Uggs.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Or whatever a vampire would be. I don't know, it seems a little redundant, right? Yeah, I mean- The dead vampire.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Flashing lights, we played flashing lights again, again, which is when we pretend to be, uh, EMS, firefighters, and police. Have you played this game, Gus? Oh boy, it's like steam garbage.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, uhm, so we played more of that. Uhm, also, uh, this weekend, mods.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Mods are back, baby. We played some, we haven't done mods in a really long time. Uhm, and also some new merch. We have, uh, two new t-shirts in the Rooster Teeth store. Our, uh, buy under aero dolol.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You can get that in the Rooster Teeth store right now. We also have another very cool design, uhm, custom made design, uhm, by Spencer Martin, one of our, he worked with us for a little while, uhm, and so he submitted a design and we were like, this is super cool, we want a t-shirt. Uhm, what's going on with you guys? Anything you wanna shout out? Check out Rooster Teeth podcast every Monday. Great. Rooster Teeth podcast.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, but yea, no thank you guys so much for coming on, it was a lot of fun. And thank you Adam. Thank you James. For never taking that picture with Todd. Maybe you could do it after the show if you weren't such an ego maniac.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you want to get your loved one something special this year, maybe steer clear of a stationary bike, otherwise you might end up in a pellet-ton of trouble.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Maybe? Nooo, I don't think it's the original original. I think it is, I think it went away for a while and then Lawrence found it and brought it back. But I think the original original didn't have like the stuff that, I think the original was just free, royalty free prelinger footage of like the JFK assassination or whatever that is.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So eh, it definitely was a big shoot. Uhm, if you, if you are not a first member, that's totally fine, cause you can then watch episode 6, uh, last week's first episode. Now you can watch that for free, and then you can watch the finale, then one week after that. So we'll probably hit you with that reminder again, so. Uhm, but just so you know, if you are a first member.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Go watch Arizona Circle, season finale. It's gonna be fun. Uhm, also,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I have a, I have a, like a bag of shirts that I'll dig through to make sure that I'm wearing something to promote our stuff. Uhm, so yeaah, make sure to check that out, uh, this Friday, December 6th, and then also,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is leading into our guest here. I wanna remind you guys to check out the Good Morning From Hell podcast every Monday. Subscribe wherever you can find your podcasts. And that leads me into our guest for this week. I'd like to welcome Chris Damaris, Blaine Gibson.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The stars creators of the Good Morning from Hell podcast, uhm. I saw on the doc you said


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh huh. Alright. You get to fly out to LA. Yep. Yeah. Just like us.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When, when Paul Rudd is promoting the next Ant-Man, he goes on Letterman and all this. When you guys are promoting your podcast, you go on Dude Soup. I'd say that fits pretty nicely. Yeah, our podcast has really big guests. We had the Beatles on.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's true, a couple of them, not all of them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] For context, for people who don't know what the show is.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It takes place in hell, I died, I'm in hell, and, uh, Blaine plays a character named Clayton, who is the brother of Satan, and we interview, uh, people in hell. Every episode. That's right. Like the Beatles. Sounds, it sounds like a lot of fun, uhm.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So anyway, it's a luxury, a very much luxury fitness item.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It doesn't, as far as I'm aware, in the fitness world, it doesn't have a great reputation already because it's like, you're basically, you could pay for, what, eight years worth of a gym membership that also has free spin classes in the gym. Oh yea, right there live. Or bicycles or anything you could do for the price of one bike, not even counting the subscription. Does it do anything?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's a spin, it's I guess a really high quality spin bike, so like when you want to increase the intensity you turn that little knob or whatever. I've only done like one or two spin classes, so like, it's not just a stationary bike where you're pedaling, but it's one of those ones where it's like, alright.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's a mall not too far from us that's like this glamour Beverly Hills mall in Century City. And there's a Peloton stand, like it's not a kiosk because that would be beneath this mall. It's like a glass dome.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Within, within which there are three pelotons where they not only let you try the peloton,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But also like, it's a sales floor too, so they're trying to sell you on it, but there's also sometimes people in there that are like, I'm gonna catch my workout here in the middle of the mall! And they're like, surrounded by glass as they're peddling along. It sounds like a pillow. They lock you in. Yeah. And then you're not allowed out until you finish the class. Yeah, and then they churn up the money, and the money starts flying, and then you have to grab the cash and everything while you're doing it. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Anyway, so, to get you in the mindset of what this bike is, they released their holiday commercial on YouTube. And people hate it. Uhm, let's, we can't play it because it's using copyrighted music, but the basic premise is there's a woman, she receives the bike as a surprise,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] To one year later when she feels like she's actually made progress with it and she's very grateful.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, she just doesn't change either. She's the exact same shape she started in. Well, that's interesting that you say that. I feel like we can get into that later. But uhm, so there are a lot of people are taking issue with it. It has a ton of dislikes. Doesn't, which I always think is funny because it doesn't stop me from getting views.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And they're like, let's see, the point of a commercial is for people to see more of it, but uhm, anyway, people are calling it sexist, they're calling it, uhm, uh, like, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think some of it is the performance. I think it's her performance. How scared she looks. She looks terrified.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Who we, who needs this? Probably someone who lives on the lake in a, uh, 4,000 square foot home with, uh, floor to ceiling windows. That's our mark.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, so a lot of, there's obviously, it's 30 seconds. It's a 30 second commercial. There's so much unsaid in this commercial.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right? There's a lot of subtext and I do think it's very interesting how people are pulling away the subtext. It's like the Yancy or whatever is it? Oh. The blue dress, the gold dress or whatever or Yancy and Lyle or whatever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It feels like it's one of those things because people are just kind of like seeing what they want except no one's seeing anything good in this. Uhm, so like a couple people said on Twitter, uh, sear jaw.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That this commercial is body shaming. Maybe you shouldn't body shame the actress who's in the commercial. Who by the way didn't ask for a peloton and is just an actress performing this. Like, so it's, there was another article that I saw somewhere that was like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, what did it say? Oh, Peloton's viral ad captures a 116 pound woman's year-long fitness journey to become a 112 pound woman. And I'm like, Jesus Christ, like, there's a lot of anger directed there. Uhm, good king tweet man.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Don't drink water! Let me ask, is that the vibe, like, kind of going around the table? Like, is that the vibe that you got that the dude's like- I don't know, because you don't know- Come on, babe, shed some pounds.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Maybe she wanted ex- exercises, maybe she asked for it, you don't know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Here's what I think the commercial's about. I think, I think she said,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, but it's four thousand dollars.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] She's like, she's like, but I know that I would use it, but no, it's fine. It's not a good thing. Enter first scene of the commercial. She comes down. He goes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's a bike! It's a bike you wanted! I got it! And she's like, alright, I'm gonna show that this was worth the money we spent on this bike.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] To the expectation that if someone exercises for a whole year, they have to look different at the end of the year.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's not really how fitness works. She could be way stronger. She could have way more cardio or she could be in any number of way better shapes than actually changing her shape. So the implication that she's doing this to lose a number seems like already


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] societal misconception on what fitness can and should be.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Taking aback by people's implication that she has to physically change.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, no, I, I thought about that too. I was like, I was like, cause it, one of the, you know, the tweets are like, there were a lot of tweets saying like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm like, we need to change how we think about, I think there's maybe a weird divide on how we allow men to think about fitness and how women are allowed to think about fitness. It still feels like generally on Twitter, in this discussion, people are like, oh, fitness is for men.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, yeah. I don't know. I just thought it was interesting. People's reaction was so, you know, how could he do this?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They picked such a weird, such weird moments in her life to do, like, her waking up in the middle of the night.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's a version of this, uh, there's a version of this that I think like, there's a minute log version and it shows her year and then it shows his year and then it's like, she comes down, opens it and then it shows, she's like, oh my god, the bike and it's him going,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I don't know, I just thought everyone's reaction was really interesting to this. Maybe that says more about you. Yeah, I think it absolutely does.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I concede entirely. She looks absolutely terrified by this. But there are times where I'm gonna go to the gym.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I am scared. I don't know that I've ever woken up in the middle of the night and felt like I needed to like really contemplate how scared, but there are points, very numerous times where I'm like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Walking to the gym or riding my bike to the gym and I'm going, I am terrified right now about what I'm going to do, what I'm going to put on my back and how I'm going to feel. And if I recorded myself, I'd be like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is a shitty commercial, but I think they did do some positive things, which it did show. Fitness isn't necessarily a number.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Fitness isn't something for people who are overweight, necessarily. Doesn't mean if you are, if you are a thin person, it doesn't necessarily mean that you are fit, right?