[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, but anyways, yeaah, videos should be coming on that soon, uh, this week, so you'll be able to see all that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] 90s, or I think it was still middle school. I was like late 90s, early 90s.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, no, that's what I mean, like, it was affordable, it needed a little bit of work, but like, what home doesn't? And like, it's still a beautiful home, it's still there, and then Santa Clarita's only gotten nicer, but,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I remember being like, wow, homes are affordable, cool. And then it just kept exploding, exploding. And then the whole thing crashed in 2008. And then it's like, okay, that's never happening. Cause it quadrupled in price. Whereas like, okay, I can kind of see why people aren't in such a hurry to be adults right now. Cause it, it's like, well, it's kind of on a, it's really hard to survive out there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Used to be sort of demonized and now it's celebrated because you make a lot more money.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Off of it, people found a way to exploit it and say, it was just, it was funny reading the article because it had some choice quotes such as like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Young men are being lured into this lifestyle of video games because of the cheap nature, because all you can do is buy the computer and that's it. You're done, baby. Games forever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's sort of what happens when someone writes an article who has probably little to- I'm speaking out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Frankly, but I don't know if the author really plays in this world a lot or is just sort of an observer. Felt like an observer.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's always been sort of my advice too, where people will sit at home and go,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Got anything from there? Like, well no. It's like, okay, you have a better chance of something happening to you the more you interact with the world around you than when you're sitting at home because no one's really going to approach you. It's more of like, I was going to say like, in our field, when we're like looking for editors and stuff, we're kind of like, who do we know?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Who have we worked with before? Who came to us? Not what person sent us a Twitter link and said, please hire me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well there's like the streamer we follow, Star, uh, he was a TF2 guy, and...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sure, he could have stayed playing TF2, but he's pretty smart and he's playing Overwatch now, and his following has...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And the way they phrased in the article was, they said, well, 20 years ago, people would just sit on the couch, unemployed, watching TV, being depressed. But now, they have like-minded people on the internet, and there's a culture surrounding them, like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well they were also saying something like, well now video games are more accessible because it's on your phone, it's on your TV, it's on your PC, it's on everything. You can't get away from it, man. It's like, well you're just sort of describing the...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Technology. The world at large? Yea, how the world has advanced.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It, it is a little weird to like read that article and like, okay, they're getting really granular, but really the ultimate takeaway I thought was, yeah, being young sucks, and...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It, it sucks not having money and finding a job and there just happens to be more entertainment out there and affordable price entry.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's a surreal moment. This is tying us back to when we went to Blizzard, uh, last week.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Was, I remember being a kid and playing Warcraft and thinking like, wow what a cool game, what a cool thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then growing up kinda side by side with saying like, Blizzard's growing, then I, it's crazy that I have a career that, growing up where I was being told, video games are a waste of time,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We're taking your consoles away, and then we bought them for you. I'm like, what a rude thing to do to a child. Uh, it's kind of tough. And then only growing up with a Mac, and the only games I could play were either LucasArts or Blizzard games, because god bless them, they made them hybrid discs.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Fast forwarding to when I'm a 31 year old adult. Am I 31? Yea, I think I'm 31. Uhm, I always get my age mixed up. But uhm, and then we go to Blizzard HQ and it's sort of like, this is a surreal moment. This is kind of cool. And I'm still playing their games because they make good shit. So, that was fun.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're eating while reading subtitles? That's my only problem.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I got an account and I started watching Berserk within seconds and I was like, cool!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That was a, that was a bucket list moment, I think, for me, where I was like, this is, this is one of the, I would say like, I'm trying to think of like, top developers I've always wanted to like, hang out with. It would be Blizzard, Rockstar.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Brrrr. Valve. Valve, yeaah. And, shit. Blizzard was the last one. We did it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And they're looking for Valve and we left and we're with one of the guys, we're with Jay, we're walking out and we're just like, we see this kid and we're like, that's why they take all the signs down.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like the dads who wait in line at conventions to get an autograph from some weirdo. That's a good dad.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But yeaah, we, so we got to go, it was pretty cool cause yeaah, we went to Blizzard and they like immediately were like, uh, I like their, um, their policy, which is like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, if it's not on carpet, you can take a photo of it. The minute you're in carpet, no photos. So it was like, it was kind of cool because first like, here's some statues, here's this, here's that, and they're like, now we're going to the carpeted area, and it's all Overwatch, we're going to the Overwatch development area, and we're like, we're all looking around like, uh, Sombra. Yeah. Yeah. But, uh, their offices were rad. Had a great, had a great time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh well, I won't recall this. Before we got on the party bus home, we had dinner with some of the Overwatch devs, which is always


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Developers are like some of my favorite people in the world just because...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We talked to a few, like, the guys, the Dark Rift guys. It's always like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I always draw comparisons to like, to us, where it's like, it's like, it's a small group. You're just making stuff. Obviously the stuff they're making is infinitely more complicated and different, but there's always shared interests and shared stories. And so like, the Overwatch guys, no different. Like they're all nerds, they all, we all like the same stuff. We're all just kind of geeking out at stuff. We're talking about playing volleyball and all these other things. Like, oh, we all get along. This is so great. And then Lawrence was asking about Earthshatter from Reinhardt. And he was like, it was a couple, Bruce and I were like kind of on the end of the table.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was cool though cause through Lawrence's like, drunk accusations.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They were explaining, like, how they had to, like, geometry was affected by the earthshatter move, and they're like, well, the way, like, it would go up walls, and we had to, like, recreate different maps, and like, Anubis would throw all these different changes, like, I just, I could hear those guys talk all day. So cool. And it was like, especially when you're, like, so invested in a game, at least.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, Bruce and I were talking too, just like, we got into the, just the conversation of stealth games, we were talking about Hitman, and then we started talking about Dishonored, and they were all like nerding about Dishonored, like, oh man, Dishonored is so awesome, and like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is, that's like the best stealth game I think that could have ever been done. It's like, these are just guys who really like video games, and they like making them, and then...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They really enjoy their jobs, they're very passionate about it, they clearly go home and that's all they think about and they talk about. And that sort of, this goes back to our earlier discussion about like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Trying to, you know, find a career that you can be very passionate about. You said the line, follow your dreams sort of thing. There was a Mike Rowe video.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's sort of like a bad way of thinking, and I tend to agree with this, where it's like, you shouldn't really follow your dreams, but, I'm butchering this quote, but it's, you should let your passion fuel your career. Okay. And so take the passion that you would have for your dreams and just use that wherever you are and eventually


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The idea is that you will eventually go somewhere where you can work on something that you truly love and you like, like, uhm.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just watch a couple episodes of that and just be like, and live in jealousy of these people who are like just living their career.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It failed for her because she wasn't doing what she wanted to do and she ended up just selling it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is fucking cool, I look like I got in an awesome fight. When we came back, I had a bit of a headache because we'd just been out all day and like, it was just a long day, so I took some Madville and I was just chilling at the office. We'd seen Overwatch all day, so I'm like, fuck, I just want to play Overwatch. So I was playing it, I remember Lawrence was drunk and we just stared at him and he was like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm happy we found out about footbag just so that it will show up eventually. I thought it wasn't going to see the light of day.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Welcome to a prehistoric bowl of dude soup. There's, there's like, uh, I don't know, there's hair floating in there, maybe a tooth. I started watching RWBY finally, there's a pretty cool part where somebody rips a, rips a fang out of a snake and then stabs it into its eye. So do that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, that? Oh, is that what that is? Instead of the camera just bopping down and then you get four herbs or whatever? Ugh, far cry. God damn it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So this is a weird thing that's been happening in games lately. I kind of like it, but nobody... I brought it up a couple of times, but nobody really seems to... Like I'm waiting for the laborious 15,000 word essay on polygon or whatever about...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How, lately games have abandoned the pretense that you are the good guy. Uhm, almost every game now doesn't even try to make you seem like a protagonist because you're murdering a lot of people.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're right, it is playing into like, yea, you're right, you're right. Uhm, it was just, what was the first, oh yea, Metal Gear Solid V was like the biggest, holy shit, you are a, you are a mega villain. You're capturing dudes and indoctrinating them, you're raising a rogue nation army that's just going around.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's still a thing. You just have to have the right monitor. This isn't one. Uh, this episode of Dude Soup is brought to you by Loot Crate and YouTube Red. Uh, YouTube Red is pretty cool. I got it because I was already on YouTube Music. Google Play Music. Ish.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Fuckin' great man, no ads, uh, offline viewing, the first month is free, after that it's $10 a month, uh, if you wanna subscribe, check the description in the link, and, uh, if you are interested in Lootcrate, go to lootcrate.com slash dudesoup and use promo code dudesoup for $3 off, new subscriptions, we'll hear from, more from both of them later.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But uhm, I guess along the same vein of everyone being the villain, we saw particularly the villain in this film, by probably the world's greatest mastermind. What is his name? Alex Proyas?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So wait, everybody saw it? Bruce, you saw it? No, I didn't sing it. Oh! I refuse. I will not be singing it anymore. Really? No.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, well I think, what I tend to phrase it in is more of the opposite if, and this isn't wrong, but if you're the type of person who takes movies seriously and you think that Gods of Egypt, to use a phrase I see thrown around a lot, if you think Gods of Egypt is quote, part of the problem with like movies in general, don't go see it, of course not, but then again you're already


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Maybe pretentious isn't the right word, but you're already in a certain frame of mind where you're not gonna...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How? Uh, so it depends on how you frame it. Okay. The fight scenes that involve Gerard Butler are genuinely good to watch because he's actually a pretty great action actor. He is, yea. I would agree.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, absolutely it is. Because the Mummy at least had like, theoretically real world action and real world characters that then descended into Ilanda fantasy. This just starts crazy town and goes even more crazy town.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's a part where they go into space and you see the world which is just a flat disc and they fly around to the other side which is like the underworld or whatever. Some of that visualization is pretty cool.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's the weird part, right? You'd like to think it's a communal joke to go see that movie.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I watched, uh, what was it? The shitty Allison Winterland remake. I did that with the LXG.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wait, you just high-fived and fist-pumped. League of the Extraordinary Gentlemen is 18 times worse than Gods of Egypt.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So you know, it's interesting because to me the value of a movie like this is always imagining


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When they, there was a scene in the movie where there's all these characters together, and it's almost like they look at each other and realize, we're not gonna resolve our individual storylines if we stay together. So without word or explanation, they split up, and they're in an elevator. So one of them jumps off the elevator and starts climbing up the outside of the building.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] While the other two characters are on the elevator going up so they can have their confrontation.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But they introduced, they introduced this in the middle of a conversation where they're talking with Ron and he's like, wait, wait, hold on a second. Hold on. And then he just like backs up out of the scene and like, like super saiyans out, flies into space, shoots fireballs at this giant space snake that they have not introduced. And then he comes back and he's like, all right, what were you talking about?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Have you ever watched anything that had bad CG but was still enjoyable?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It looks like a rear projection, yea. They're just like shaking in a set while there's a CG green screen behind them and they're just like doing this while like, it looks like a scene from like yea, a 50's movie where they're in a car just kind of like dropping back and forth.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well let me throw this out there. There is a movie you can watch. Are we doing the Zad reader now? We are doing it. Nice. There's a movie you can watch for free, or rather for a 30 day trial, that actually has pretty fucking good CG.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it's called Lazer Team, produced by our company Rooster Teeth, but it is part of YouTube Red or YouTube Red Originals. Uhm, we have a, we have a, like a link down in chat you can click on to get a free 30-day trial, and after that it's only $10 a month. And I know, like, a lot of people have this knee-jerk where it's free, why I should have to pay for it, uhm,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, sorry for YouTube in general. YouTube Red is phenomenal. To me, it's uh, and I'm saying this genuinely, once they rolled it out, I was like, fuck, yes. I mean, granted, I was technically already paying for it, but...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] To me, it's, if you watch a lot of YouTube, it's on, it's on par with a Netflix subscription. It's an incredible service to just like have no ads anywhere and granted if you're using AdBlock, fine, but downloading shit to your phone, which yes, there are workarounds for that too, but to be able to do it just through the YouTube app is great. We just went to Austin and we'll talk about that in a second, but, uh, I had never really watched Ruby, which yeah, a bit of a sin on my part, but I finally started catching up on it on the plane.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Pretty fucking good show too, but I was able to do that because I was just in the airport like, God, what am I even doing playing? Oh yeah, here's a show I need to watch. So I was just like tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, download all these. They did pretty quickly.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Also, YouTube compression is pretty awesome, so the files are really small. Uhm, I was even doing that with, uh, AGDQ. There were like some games I hadn't seen, so I downloaded a two-hour Resident Evil 4 run through and watched it on a plane, just on my phone.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There are a lot of freedoms with YouTube Red, and for 10 bucks a month, it's pretty great. Also, that money goes right to content creators, uh, YouTube Red revenues look pretty strong, uhm. Don't forget about Google Play, man. There's Google Play too, yea, you get, you get, uh, Google Music. Oh, Google Music, yea. Google Play Music is the full, so you guys were both right.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, but yea, Google Play Music, uhm, if you're a music lover, I've used a lot of music services like Pandora and Spotify. And to me, Google Play Music is the most accurate way to like, sum up what you like about a particular music and show you more of it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, what I, what always used to happen with Pandora is I would punch in some, I'd like punch in Pendulum, cause I like, I want drum and bass, I want big beat, I want these kinds of sounds, and eventually it would just go to Skrillex, and like, that is not at all where I started or what I wanted, but it was driven, it was driven by like, likes, instead of curators, which actually understand the music and analyze what it's about.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Google Play Music, uh, it's got a great recommendation engine. Um, Bruce and I both found a lot of cool new music that way. What I really like is, is every album and every band has a little blurb that you can just read and be like, this is the fourth studio album that followed this, here's what it means in like, the context of the band. And if you're really into music, it's a great way to learn.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So it's, uh, so just to summarize it again, you get ad for YouTube videos, you know, ad block, but this is a legitimate way to do it and actually have money go to the creators who are making the things you enjoy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, background listening, so if you're on your phone and you wanna listen to like something like this, or uh, maybe like a playlist of music videos you put together. You can do that, just put your phone into sleep mode and it'll keep playing. Offline viewing, like we said, you can download videos right to your phone and just watch them whenever you want.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And access to YouTube red originals like Lazer Team and more. Uh, you can watch PewDiePie get scared.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, if you, if you want to see the advent of a new kind of media, check it out. Uh, once more, there's a link in the description. It's a bit.ly, otherwise I'd say what it is. Uh, 2-0-X-I, nevermind.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, uh, yeaah. Thanks for the sponsorship, YouTube Red, and uhm, I guess we'll move on from there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I guess we can, I'll throw around a quick survey of the room. What's the worst movie you've seen in a theater?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There are movies I've wanted to walk out of but didn't because I had friends there. Da Vinci Code might be the worst film I've ever seen in a few.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What's Sam and Max? Doesn't matter. I'm gonna look it up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is there a mentally handicapped character in that?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh yeaah. I don't think that's called Sam and Max. Sam and Max is the Lucasarts. Oh yeaah, sorry. I do remember seeing a trailer for that in front of a shitty kids movie that I wanted to watch.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm not trying to look at those, I'm just trying to get him to float down the river. Yeah, he's floating on the water. It's not gonna work. You killed Jesus!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My dad was innately suspicious of any stranger that said anything to him, so every time anyone approached us to say, hey, here's a free movie, he was like, NO! And then just like, stared right ahead and didn't make eye contact and shuffled away.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Thanks, dad. Thanks, real dad. Didn't see ghost dad. You're better off. I wanna like ghost dad more.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I can see that going like, so you have the director of Dark City there, and he's like, I have this crazy idea, it's gonna be this huge visual showcase, action, uh, huge buff dudes fighting each other, I just need a lot of money, a lot of sound stages, and we'll put this together. I got it all in my head, no problem.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I guess if, if you're maybe not, if you don't really have a good barometer on what works for, like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're looking, okay, the superhero stuff's blown up. There's gotta be something superhero periphery that we can make some money on. So, let's get Gerard Butler and some leather spandex and let's go out there and make a crazy ass CG spectacle showcase that's kind of like Avengers, but not really.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's one of those names, it's like, if you didn't have a Gerard Butler or a Car- not Carler. Or Jeffrey Rush. Yea, or Jeffrey Rush. Or Macaulay Culkin. If, if you didn't have- like, I imagine-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When they were pitching the film, they were like, we're gonna get The Rock. And then like, foreign producers are salivating like, The Rock? Every movie he's in makes money. And then they contact him and he's like, mm, nah. So they're like, shit. What's the next producer gold we can find?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He sells it a lot more. He's a regular Jason Statham.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Somebody watches a lot of shitty action movies. There's a subtle difference between people who sell action poorly on film and people that sell it well.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Bloody hell. Welcome to bloody hell. Fuck yeaah. Dude! In Olympus' phone, he stabbed a dude through the bottom of his chin up into his brain!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was cool in the movie! Also, if you, uh, well, no, that just went out of his mouth.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I was actually. No, I'm, so what's funny is if you watch Olympus' fall, not that you have to, but it does beat for beat follow die hard. Down to the point where him and the villain have a conversation over the phone, or like over earpiece at some point before they even meet each other. I've seen that part. Yeah, it's- Well, okay, so here's my thing with- I'm gonna fuck you up. My thing with movie remakes is-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Let me, let me challenge you a bit, Adam. Let's say, let's say you're a, say you're a burgeoning director, you got, you got all the, all the good ideas and all the good, good intentions in the world, you got your script, you got your screenplay, everything's good, and a producer comes to you and says, hey, uh, you can make this movie, we can get money for you right now, if you make it a Die Hard 7.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But, but the room shakes. Well, you're gonna get fucked by that deer. Caribou. Whatever it is. Elk.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You just gotta look at really bad Bollywood films, man. They do that stuff all the time. That's smart. No, it's not. Uh, oh, so what I like to do, uhm, I like, well, on these weekends, I like to bounce it out. I like a little, like a little hot and cold. I also saw The Witch, which is pretty good. You guys? I saw it. Yeah? What'd you think?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, I wish they'd cut the last two minutes out of the film. So there's a part where shit goes down and the main character just kind of stumbles back into this


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I guess let's, let's back it up a little bit. Premise is, it's, it's like colonial America. Dude gets tossed out of his, uh, out of his village for being too much of a zealot or weirdo or whatever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They do a little bit, but it's also in the part of the film where you're trying to acclimate your ears to old-ass English, so maybe grab every fourth word or so?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, okay. So, you know, that beat doesn't really matter too much, but the framing is, this family is by themselves out in the American wilderness, and shit starts getting weird. So, shit got very weird, and there's a part where


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The main character stumbles back into their shitty ass colonial house. She puts her head down on the table, cut to black.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's a good place to end this movie. Please let me see some credits. And then it comes back up for like another two and a half minutes of...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, that's the big thing. There's like some candlelight shots that are really good because it is natural light. Uhm, and again, I've used this a few times, but it does seem like if you're a burgeoning director, you do horror to prove you can get good shots. And then once you prove your cinematography, then you start to get more developed scripts.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Non-existent? There was probably some digital touch-up of shots and stuff, but it's not like there was a CG witch flying around on a broom.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Interesting. I didn't think that was the point of that line. I thought it was supposed to drive home a little bit that, no, this was actual folklore and you just saw something that was pretty legitimately pulled from the pages of history.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh god. Man, I tried watching that on Netflix and I tried to not distract myself during a film. Like I really tried to just let it take it all in. And I got about 10 minutes into Avatar and I started getting up and pacing around the apartment. Like I was trying to find something to do.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think you'd probably rightly judge no one would get further than you got in the movie. So if there were a problem, nobody would have found it anyway.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, peril, gadgets, toys, just all kinds of, uh, crazy good stuff. Uh, this month's theme is Versus. Celebrating some of the greatest rivalries in pop culture. The Dark Knight vs. The Man of Steel. Alien vs. Predator. Spock vs. Mirror Universe Spock. That's when he has a goatee.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Everyone's saying mirror mirror. Uh, Daredevil vs Punisher? I didn't know that they were... Are they strictly villains? I mean that's in season 2.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I didn't know they were counterparts. I thought it was Daredevil and Kingpin. Oh, that makes sense. Okay, I can buy that. Uh, Harley Quinn vs. Everyone. Okay, sure. Gotta cram Harley Quinn in there somewhere. Uhm, their exclusive item includes something you can display, something you can wear, and something you can use. So, kinda like a weird nerd wedding. Uhm, and don't forget our teal and loot pin? I don't know what that means.


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[Assistant] Uh, but at any rate, you have until the 19th at 9pm pacific to sign up for this particular month's crate, and after that they'll switch over to the next one, so...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Please go to lootcrate.com slash dudesoup and use our code dudesoup.


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[Assistant] I think it's important to know the, the landscape. Even if that includes bullshit awards.


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[Assistant] And then, I mean in the same, in the same what, you know, what in conversations that I may or may not have been privy to at some point in my life, uhm, essentially the conversation goes down to, well we can't give everything to this even though mathematically it probably should get it. Also, fundamentally you're looking at


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So what is, what is, how does voting for those awards work? Cause I genuinely don't know.


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[Assistant] I've, I've been in, I've been in, I've been in discussions where I have presented the most logical reason like mathematical, this is why this should win and this should not. And then it's just like, but I had a ham sandwich so I want this one.


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[Assistant] What? And that, they have a vote, just like everybody else. That's, that's America, baby.


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[Assistant] Yeah, all the memes are dead. It's a brave new world of memes out there. I guess, they'll just find a new one, man. That's not how memes work! David, Daniel, I fucked it up.


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[Assistant] That's fine, it's already over. They were on Ellen. Some dude got 10 grand for his friend having a funny voice. That is the state of the world we're in right now.


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[Assistant] Yeah, yeah, I mean, we could have said we were there regardless. Okay, yeah. We just can't show anything. We went to this Microsoft site. We can't now.


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[Assistant] I, I instead have made it my goal to try and stay, stay on top of those things because it's, it's the cycle I've seen happen where you get older, you kind of gravitate towards the familiar, you don't go out of your way to see dumbass stupid bullshit like damn Daniel.


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[Assistant] And then, what happens is, first of all you become disconnected, then you become resentful, then you become wholly OLD. Which is you just sitting...


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[Assistant] Experiencing the same thing that you grew up with because it's familiar and not weird and new. So I go out of my way to kind of push myself out of my comfort zone into dumbass stupid 12 year old bullshit.


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[Assistant] None, none of you are bored enough to want to use Snapchat, that's the problem. It's for bored, it's for bored teens!


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[Assistant] Terrible. And there were all these confusing shapes that didn't mean anything and you would just tap one of them to figure out what it did and then suddenly there's just like a picture of your dumbass face and maybe that's what all the snaps I'm getting are.


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[Assistant] Like, I really wanted to quit and say, fuck it, I'm not doing this, but, you know, that's how it starts. So I made myself learn it, and like, post- accidentally posted some snaps to my story, not to my friends. Like, it's all different, I dunno. But I got to- I got there eventually. Hey, I got there eventually. I got there eventually. The other- the other problem is-


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[Assistant] No way. No way, Conqueror. I mean, I know how to use it, but I wouldn't say I'm good at snapchat or anything.


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[Assistant] You can, you can save photos from the Snapchat application, but if you tap any, any button other than the save it forever button, it goes away immediately. Or it posts your story and then you have to screenshot it. So there's that.


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[Assistant] Yeah, don't send me child porn, please. Over 18 decks. You know, do what you do.


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[Assistant] Cause when I'm in prison and they're telling me that person was 15 and you stared right at their penis.


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[Assistant] God, you had such a better evening. It was fun. I made two friends who, who made sure I could sit and then proceeded to ignore me.


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[Assistant] No, it was, god, no. Fuck, what was his name? He was straight up Matthew McConaughey type down to wearing a headband. A cable!


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[Assistant] That was his name. Cable. His name was Cable. Yea, his name was Cable. He introduced himself as Cable. And then he had a buddy who just laughed at everything he said. And he was just like smoking a cigarette and being like, hey man, let me tell you about the nature of the world. And his buddy was like, yea, yea, there you go. So he had a hype man. Except they were sitting alone in like the upper deck of a bar by themselves. Nevermind.


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[Assistant] I'm James, the Apollo Creed Wilson. I'm James's second best friend, Adam Kovac.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, okay, gotcha. I was just gonna say Journey. Great name, great band. Some would argue even better.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You got a problem with mincing carrots? Get an ABZU. It's a thing that, uh, Bruce can attest to this, but, um, and I guess- Small dicks. Small dicks are huge, uh, in my world. No, the, uh, just coming up with a marketable name is so important. We went through this with Funhaus.


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[Assistant] No, no, you hit a decibel that, much like a dog hearing a certain whistle frequency, I perked up a little bit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Carmack, the next Socrates? This is hot off the presses. This is hot news! Yeah, on CheatCC.com or whatever you were writing for. Uh, GamesAreFun.com. Wow.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] God, please be good. I got intimidated a lot as a kid by things that I didn't know about, so like, I remember


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] As a kid, you get, you're just sort of intimidated, like I, we were talking about this, uh, I think personally, but we were talking about, uh, like how kiss, kiss like


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Kiss sucks! I'd never heard their music, yeah. Oh, I remember because, so this is, it's such a weird thing going back in this because we grew up in kind of a weird time where technology wasn't exactly at our fingertips, so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Or borrow, yea, or borrow your friends, uh, CD. I remember, like, on the radio, they played Stone Temple Pilots and they called it STP. I did not know that was Stone Temple Pilots.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, yea, you're right, it wasn't, but. Like with television? I guess, yea, like with television. And then Adult Swim. Adult Swim kinda got there. Captured that, but then the problem is, no one can sit still for five minutes.


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[Assistant] There's a bunch of things hitting you all at once. I guess, unless it's Game of Thrones or something where it is like a, a weekly ritual. Right, you have to- Where it's like every Sunday we're gonna sit down for two hours and we're gonna watch whatever HBO deems good for us.


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[Assistant] That's what I'm saying, so even by them bringing back this MTV thing, it might be cool for 45 minutes here and there, but then that's not a sustainable model anymore because people are always looking at something else.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I guess I would like someone to send me an example of bad acting in a foreign language where they say, you know, they all look at it and go, this is like our room, you know, like this is, this is our...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It looks, you know, it looks, this would be a good, uh, screen saver. Yeah, it would. Like just a moving wallpaper, if you will.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So can you still smoke salvia? I know that was a thing for a while.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So that, are you interested in the Fantastic Beasts movie at all?


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[Assistant] The thing with a plane, so I need fairly good movies on a plane, because I don't want to start looking at other people's screens and thinking, what are they watching?


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[Assistant] I actually guess with all animation, because I was realizing as people were posting clips of like Tarzan or something online and like, there was this weird moment in Disney where they switched their animation engine or whatever they were using to draw, and so like Hunchback of Notre Dame,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Some stuff just doesn't age, like maybe minions will look good forever, who knows. Uh, but like shark's tail and stuff, you look at that and you're like, ah, why do they make it look like Will Smith? That's scary.


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[Assistant] Basically, all the Mexican families moved too if they didn't go to Valverde.


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[Assistant] Like poor white people, except the best football players all went to Hart. So it's kind of weird that they had like, I don't know, that was the, what they laid out. And then Saugus was just like, meh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The middle class. It's sort of me, basically, like, milk toast, like, yeah, but they always said, like, you know they film Pump Up the Volume here, and I went, what? Who?


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[Assistant] Cuffs was mid-90s. I like Cuffs. Broken Arrow. No, I like Cuffs too, I'm just saying. Oh, she was in Broken Arrow too, I forgot about that. Christian Slater in a film that isn't Hard Rain or that, uh, Uwe Boll movie. Oh yea, Alone in the Dark. That was towards the end of his career.


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[Assistant] I think he's a good actor. There's that one movie too where he's bald and he's just carrying around a bomb in his briefcase the whole time. That's right. What's the name of that movie?


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[Assistant] I'm glad you found something. I mean, we always talk about this, but like, Mr. Robot shouldn't exist. It really shouldn't. Not on USA.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, it's got wolves in it? Yeah. Yeah, and then the dude from Weird Science remembers, like, he's one of the wacky bad guys, but there's a part where he looks through a peephole, he's like, I see the double dragons in here, and he looks through, and they take a stick and they jam them in the eye. Wow. It's comical, it does though, like the boink, and he's oh, oh, oh, and I'm like, that guy will never see again.


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[Assistant] Whether intentional or not, and I know James' mind is in the exact same place.


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[Assistant] The conspiracy theorist in me wants to say that they knew they were never going to make this thing and that they basically had free advertising.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's just like, but now it's like, I mean, I've been watching too much House.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It reminds me a lot of CD PROJEKT RED, where they're almost a little too self-aware, where any chance they get a bit to talk, they always go, DLC is the worst thing in the world. Like, we hate DRM, we hate DLC, it's basically Lois from Family Guy, when she goes, 9-11.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I guess in my mind, it would have been like, if these guys had just come out and said,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We're not gonna kickstart- imagine the Star Wars thing never happened and a no name studio came out and just said, hey, we're not gonna kickstart our game, but we're gonna have something playable for- you would've been like, who? Exactly, they wouldn't have given a shit. Now we go, oh, the guys who are gonna make Battlefront. Yep.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I'm like, hey guys, I'm making a Harry Potter movie. Here's the trailer shot. And Warner Bros. goes, no, what? Season 2 CISMO. They go, okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] While making a new thing, and they've been like, it's that Harry Potter guy, he's making something else, or something, I don't know. That seems to be the new way of doing things. It is. Borrow, basically, borrow someone else's IP. Oh yea, it's like Twilight, yea. Twilight, Twilight.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So weird that she writes Twilight fanfiction, but there's no werewolves or anything in it?


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[Assistant] Hey, as long as I don't sell it, it's fair use.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you even say the NSL... You can't say Super Bowl. Yeah, you can't say Super Bowl. Oh, you just did it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, we're, we're okay. Uh, but no, I mean, like, that, that whole thing where you're, like, technically you're not even allowed to, like, really watch the game at your house with your friends. Like, it's this weird thing where... Well, yeah, you can't charge.


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[Assistant] Yeah, there's like that whole thing, but they were like that from day one and they were just, you know, basically super Nazi about it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Much like a movie or music or anything, you don't own it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You are, you are basically paying for the right to rent it indefinitely. That's sort of...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I just dealt with this yesterday. Someone's been stealing our videos, putting them on the channel and monetizing it. And then like, the guy even has a link to his Patreon being like, hey if you want to see more of my videos, like support me, zero dollars. Uhm, but I'm just like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I can't believe no one's watching it.


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[Assistant] But we made those. We put a lot of work into that. Like, we were there every step along the process, and the guy goes, yeah, I found him. Let's explain the analogy. Well, that's kind of how it works like Overwatch, where it's like, all you see is the finished product.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Gentlemen's channel, uh, in question, maybe gentlemen, I don't know, uhm.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, but it basically, I think it's them thinking, if I do this quietly enough and I just make a couple hundred dollars under the radar, no one will notice.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's also getting people coming to his channel because he's using our, basically our brand.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And he's recutting it in a way, but it's just best stuff. He's not really adding anything to it other than lower thirds. When someone else is just doing that and then monetizing it, then it's like, okay, well,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But then, but for us, we don't just upload the video game footage, we don't just play through Call of Duty with no commentary, nothing, no editing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We're talking about uhm, just sort of like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Making content in general and how we pull a lot from our own personal experiences and that, this goes back to what I was saying earlier, we all grew up in an interesting time where we didn't grow up on the internet.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But now there's a lot of younger, uh, people only watching.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hey guys, so and so here playing this game. And then they're like, I can do that. And then they do it. So now you're getting a mimic or an iteration of an iteration. And now it's just becoming like less and less. And I don't know, it's just being a diluted style thing. That's a big fucking whale.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh no, I, I, I wake up every day and go, I shouldn't have a job right now, it's weird. Uhm, but like, like, guys like Jeff, for example, he's one of the most interesting people in the world, he's one of the, like, he's always has a story, he always has something interesting, and that's what brings people in, and going back to the, uh, subject earlier,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think we as a channel could exist, I think, I believe this with Achievement Hunter as well and a few other channels, we could exist without video games.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If it was just us talking, it would be fine. It probably wouldn't be as popular, or we wouldn't get the search traffic that we rely on possibly or whatever, but like, at the end of the day, it comes down to the chemistry and the human interaction that we have, not the video game.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So it goes back to the very first thing we were talking about with MTV and how everything's on demand, but it's also specialized.


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[Assistant] So, if you have a very specific style or something that you're interested in, like, it's really weird. You could watch someone who's like, I agree with all his thoughts, but I don't like how he plays Call of Duty. This guy over here plays Battlefield, though, and he's exactly the same. It's like, it's so weird. I don't know, it's like the wealth of pornography that exists.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I have lost so much. I stand here for my fallen brethren. Your bands will not be forgotten. Together we are strong.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I got hit by a ban. I only use because I'm stoned as fuck, and my teammates often flame me and rank for not being good, xD. Whatever, I'll just cheat and see us go.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, the sound design will fuck with you more than anything else. So, so the only thing about this game in VR is that like, you can turn your head like this, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But then if you wanna go like, this, you stop to click the stick. And it's like, it almost like, it's like a deek deek, like on a clock going from minute to minute. So like, you basically walk here and then you go,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Are you like leaning? Hello? Hello? And then you have to go. Dat dat dat. Tick tick tick.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Elise, Elise and I always try, and I think it's because sometimes our interest in like, oh, this television or this, this game is, both appeals to us.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It, it can't be the thing where it's like, I'm just gonna play it, and you do your own thing, because she wants to play it too.


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[Assistant] It's Munchausen's by proxy that I'm only it's not because I have a Mental illness where I want it. I want her to rely on me, you know Munchausen's by proxy. Yeah, of course. Um, it's that so now I can game. Yeah, he's dragging me


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You still played well, Elise. You still played well. Everyone shits on Elise for not, uh, being good at games, even though it's all games that she, like, has never played. Oh, headphones.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then lo and behold, lo and behold, the one game Elise has played, had a time experience playing, and all of a sudden, tra la, she is actually good at it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Remember when you got to watch that fun little cinema of all the little guys transferring your stuff? Yea. I wish they just transferred it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, real quick, back to Resident Evil demo that we're playing here.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right now I have a lockpick. Find the molder, it's in the mold area, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, but I don't have the gun, and I didn't ever find the thing that attaches to the dummy finger. The gun is in the toilet.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I don't wanna go confront the mold monster. Just don't get touched.


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[Assistant] I can't because they cover, they cover the door. The door gets blocked.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's why Lawrence was unable to run away when we tried doing it. Because they blocked the door.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We've tried looking it up before. Right now I have a lockpick, a dummy finger, but I need to combine that with something. So you want me to see, like, Google how to get a gun? What does dummy finger combine with?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Remember how long we played that game and how, like, he had literally made it two blocks away from his house?


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[Assistant] I feel like most of the people that say that probably weren't alive when Red Dead Revolver came out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And they've been getting better. But you don't have to do it. I like them, I want- I know, I like them too, but that's why I stopped forcing myself to play Assassin's Creed. But they got better. There's a point, there's a point where I was like, ugh, I have to play another Assassin's Creed, and then I was like, oh wait, don't have to play another Assassin's Creed.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I guess they just, didn't, they stopped doing that? Well, no, they- I think they just hadn't fully fleshed. They did work, they, they had considered it as a vehicle to do the other game stuff and they hadn't really thought about-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The investment that you may get in that side of the narrative and they didn't really have an answer for it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I honestly thought the boat stuff in 3 was better than it was in 4 because they get, like every time you went out there was a purpose as opposed to just guys singing and then more shit and then you're just hitting A and you're flying.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I put it in my backpack. My Xbox One S and the two wires required. I put it in my backpack, which is pretty, pretty amazing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You just do this, they fall to their knees and you suplex them. That's the perfect Resident Evil.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That isn't to say, that isn't to say that you don't still have to upgrade your, your PC. Yeah. You know. Oh absolutely, yeah. Mine has changed pretty dramatically. Speaking of which, I need to do that pretty soon.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If we're talking, if we're talking, if we're talking unrelatable stuff, uhm, my, here is my scenario, I, uh, I was...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was buying stuff, and remember when, remember there was a portion, uh, in like math, you got to high school and they're like, you need a graphing calculator. You need it. You need a graphing calculator, because regular calculators don't do it enough. Uhm, and people don't have laptops yet, so this is where we're at. Uhm, my, not intentionally, but son of a bitch brother,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Who had gone through this already, was like, get the TI-86. Just telling my mom, get the TI-86, not the TI-84. Get the TI-86, it's a better calculator. Better, you can do more stuff with it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, uh, like em- like emulators, so you can play Mario on it and everything, like play Gameboy games on it. Get the TI-86. And I was like, I don't know. And then- and so my mom got the TI-86. Everything was different. Didn't match any of the textbooks.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, Promise of Ruin is coming out. Psychonauts, Psychonauts 2 isn't gonna come out for 100 years, yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was hard, remember that? Oh, did you ever watch it when it was actually on, Lawrence?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wow. Well, I mean, it's weird because they're like, this has atri-, like the game was designed in such a way that it would appeal to what seems to be... The audience that likes those games, right? Yeaah. That's kind of what I read into it. I'm curious. Knowing not-, having not played the game for a single moment.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm curious if in five years we'll look back and say, oh Mighty Man number nine was ahead of its time. That's a really interesting point. I haven't touched it and it may be just terrible, like I may pick it up and be like, this is just bad, but I wonder, I wonder if that's a possibility.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We're like, no sweat guys, we have 56 kilobytes to work with.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The e-tank. I don't know what it does. I have a, I actually have a mug of my own, but it's a Mighty No. 9 mug. So, it's got a hole in the bottom every time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] As soon as you put it in your hands, you would be like, this doesn't, this is wrong, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sometimes, sometimes the smartest thing you can do with a Kickstarter is just take your time. You know, like, you already have the money, right? As soon as the campaign's over, you got the money.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, just take your time, so that way by the time the end product comes out, people have forgotten that they kickstarted it altogether. That's a good idea.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think, listen, you're putting something out there, you put yourself out there, people are gonna get angry. I know that for a fact. And so like, but I would say, I would say maybe it's beneficial that if you wanna try it again, sometime down the road, then...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Take your time. Put it out there. I've, I've kickstarted. I'm comfortable kickstarting. I treat it like Vegas. Right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Basically, I'll do- You have to be okay with losing everything? Yes. I'll be like, I have X amount of dollars, and I'm gonna use it, and then a lot of times I'll go, oh, well here are the perks, and then that'll be a major selling point. What does the perk include? Does it include some sort of autograph, or photobook, or something like that? Can I be a voice of a toilet? Or, oh, see the thing is-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] For that, for the Psychonauts thing, what I contributed was I really wanted this backpack or whatever. I like, I wanted a backpack or I wanted like, I wanted this merch that was associated with it. And so I was just like, I would pay that much money for all this merch. And I did that. So that was my contribution. So I will get my products from it regardless of how the product turns out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so I think you kind of have to either think of it as, fuck it, this money isn't ever coming back.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Here's extra money that I have to do whatever, like, yea, like, I could have done cocaine all weekend, but instead, I'm gonna back Mighty No. 9, right? Like, so you could do that, but you shouldn't necessarily expect anything from it. Like, you certainly shouldn't hope for the best.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, well I mean if you think about it, how much, how much did you pay into Mystery Science Theater growing up?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Zero dollars, right? Because your parents paid for your cable that allowed you to watch it and stuff like that. Now you do have some money and you can pay back into it. Like, you know, that's- I think that's fair. Like, I'm sure that 95% of the people that backed Mighty No. 9 never paid a penny for Mega Man games. Like- You might have bought it, though.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] For the record, uh, like, now, now after the campaign and everything and the audition, now I like, I email back and forth with them. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just hanging out. We went, got lunch. Said, hey Adam, could you handle the For Honor stuff? I'm gonna grab some, I'm gonna grab a sandwich. Tim. Adam sat at a separate table.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In terms of a literary thing, like, they do so much, they set up so much world building and character stuff, but then it comes down to the actual tasks and the goals of the main character, and it is, it's,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And the hero sets a- sets a tortoise free in the first act. And then at the end the tortoise returns to save his life, like things like that. That's completely disregarded in this- in this book.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, there are these moments where you're just like, ugh, god, he didn't care, or he just got to this point and he was like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They also do the thing where- no, absolutely not. It's not America, so it's third. No, no, I think it's doing pretty well.


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[Assistant] I assume Adam knows how to- I don't think that he would just turn 30 and start having, like be like, I don't know what to do with my toes!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Don't ever get a planter's work. You're like a tree person. This is, this isn't nearly that, that bad at all, either of you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But like we played volleyball this weekend and the sand was really really hot and my feet were not conditioned for the sand because this is the first time we had gone out and played volleyball this year. And so I, uh, I got blisters on my feet basically.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I have soft feet, like I used to wrestle in high school and my feet would just be ruined. Like I would basically wake up in the morning and half asleep, I would have either my mom or my dad bandage up my feet to survive the day.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Until last night, when I was like, I wanna take this bandage off to let these blisters breathe, you know? You're not supposed to keep bandages on all the time. Oh, did it stick to the blister? It fused.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That would have been nice to know. Because I had the same problem. Yea, it fused to the blister and so I had to go in and I had already, I had already basically like taken all the bandage off so now it's just flapping around my toe so I couldn't just put it back on and be like, forget it!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I, I had put it all around my toe, and then I had, I started ripping it, and then it like, popped, and then like it just went, I just saw like, the liquid inside the blister just squirt out, and then I took like a, like an ear cleaner or whatever, and then I put it under hot water, and then I went.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And dug it out, like I basically like twisted it in to dig out the separation between that and the other thing and slowly purr- It hurt like hell, not nearly as bad as either of those things sound like they hurt, but man, feet stuff. Feet stuff's the worst. Human stuff.


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[Assistant] Well, there's not really that much of a Billy Bob story. Uhm, Joel's wedding was this weekend. And just a veritable who's who of celebrities.


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[Assistant] Adam Kovac was there. Lauren Sontag was there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Billy Bob Thornton was there. He was? Everybody came out of the woodwork for Joel's special day.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, they're not together. They haven't been together for a real long time. What? Yes, really long. Brad Pitt? Brett Brangelina or whatever? Heard of him. Done.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, yeaah. Well the thing is, Frozen had long tail. Frozen was in theaters for like a year and a half. That's a good point. Catch that Asian market.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Which is a fantastic moment backstage, where it's kinda like a little bit, cause I guess when you lock it up there, that's when you pull the hood down, you lock it in, and, and, you had, so you had it just below that, and Elise was like, haha, look at this, and started messing with it, and you were like, no no no no no!


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[Assistant] But, but it was funny because Lawrence in the mask is just eyes, nose, and then teeth.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So he's, he's in character doing his damnedest to stay in character and he's like, he's like


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Considering that this was the actual dude soup, I can only imagine what the... It's gonna be more pimp of thought.


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[Assistant] So then that's when, cause yours, it was broken, so when I went out it was already broken. Cause I wasn't sure if you guys broke it or not.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And when I went out, they were like, uh, because I expected to play the same game, and I'm usually like, I'm okay at those games, I'm not greatest. And, uh, I forget who it was, I think it was Greg or Nick said that they always won. So, game wasn't there, I walked out, and Greg was like, alright, so game's broken, so, uh, we're gonna arm wrestle. And I was like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What? Well, hold on, like who am I going to arm wrestle? Greg's like, you're going to arm wrestle me? And he rips his shirt off. Like I said, it's like a wrestling shirt. He's in his wrestling leotard and I was like, okay. So, uh, so, and I think it was Tim or Nick was like, instead of, uh, now that Craig's got his shirt off, you have to take your shirt off. And I was like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's, I think it's three seconds and I've immediately beat Greg and he's on the ground. So, but I think he threw it. I think he threw the match. I think he pretended. Well, he threw himself. He threw himself. I think he pretended to be beat.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I'll never know. And if we can talk to Greg Miller about it, I don't know if he'll be honest or not.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was a large crowd, and they were like super, you know, like, enrapt or however you say it. But regardless, it was, uh, I had to beat him. I didn't have a choice. So I applied a lot of pressure.


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[Assistant] Oh, resistance. We're talking about a seven. Really?


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[Assistant] He's a good, he's, those, you can tell those guys just love WWE. Well yea, Greg's a heel. He's always been a heel.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So you, cause you must know that when a heel goes face, they're gonna go back to heel. Absolutely. But you don't know when, right? Yea. And like everybody's waiting for it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Every time I say hello to them, they are very friendly, they're efficient, and they're professional. Uhm, and that's really important, I think, uh, in a world of tube lords. Uhm, and that's just the thing that we always really like about Kind of Funny, and like Adam said, it was kind of fun to be in a spot where not everybody knew, like, oh, you're a fun ounce or whatever, so like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We did have, I had a few people that uhm, it was really funny because they would come up, and this was vice versa too, but they would come up and be like, dude I love Funhaus, and I was sitting next to Jeff, like Funhaus is the best spot, and then they'd look over at Jeff and be like, I've seen a couple Achievement Hunter videos like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I'd always laugh at Jeff, and then there was always the opposite too. People would come up to Jeff and be like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Either way, I got a lot of really good FaceTime with, uh, some kind of funny fans, some funhouse fans, 200 fans, like it was just, I was just, you and I were just standing out on the floor and Jeff and Gus were just like hanging out, drinking with people. And it was fun. It was like, it wasn't madhouse like RTX where like there's thousands and thousands of people waiting to take pictures of all of us. It's just more of like, we got to say hi and be like, yeah, so what are you here for? Like, I'm from San Francisco, you know, like just small talk.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They did. It was just. They bought like $100 worth of groceries at CVS. And it was at a store.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, no, she definitely was bored. Yeah, that was fun. I was, uh, I mean, again, we are in their city. So if things, weird things happen, I'm in San Francisco. You understand? It's like, I'm a little impatient, but it is San Francisco. If that shit happens to me in LA, get the fuck out of my way. Like, this is my city. We're gonna figure out what's going on in LA, but San Francisco.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, the center line is this weird little section of like, I want to say it's like five or six blocks in the dead center of San Francisco, right next to the Union Square and like a bunch of other spots, so it, I always end up walking through it or near it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, uh, the, the story I did not get to tell, um, for the, for the Off Topic podcast about the Tenderloin was, and I, I for some reason have been to the Tenderloin a lot, I don't know why, um, but this, uh, the most, the other story that I had was, I worked for, I worked for K-Rock, the, the radio station here in LA, and there was a contest where like the Smashing Pumpkins were reuniting, this was like back in 2006 or 2007, and


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They were, uh, they're like, okay, so we're gonna send 30 people to San Francisco, you're gonna escort them through the city.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And like me and like two other people are escorting 30 people with their baggage through San Francisco. So we fly to San Francisco, we get off the train, take the train into the city.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We get off because, like, they're all staying in a hotel and they all get to go to the Smash Brogons Reunited- Reunited show. Oh yea, sorry about that. And, uhm, so we have to basically get them to the hotel and then get them to the venue to watch the show.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, so we arrived in San Francisco, took the train into the city, uh, all 30 people get off of their baggage, um, and we, the stop we get off is, I wanna say two blocks from the hotel.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We all, uh, we look at, there's two people that we should ask. This is like back kind of around the time smartphones were becoming popular but we didn't have one. So we, there's two people we should ask to get to the, uh, get to our hotel. A business woman in a business suit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, and one of our group asks the homeless man. Sounds like a reality TV show set up. It felt like it. One of our group asked the homeless man, uh, I asked the business woman. I was like, hey, so how do we get to the whatever hotel it was?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And she's like, oh, it's just, it's just right over there. You just go north. And the crazy homeless man is like, east. And, uh, and I was like, all right, well obviously we're going to follow the business woman.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So we go north, uh, turns out it's directly through the Tenderloin. She told it to walk all the way through, and it is literally a movie set.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, and it's like a movie set, uh, we're walking through, one person is sitting there, no joke, looks like the Dave Chappelle, uh, crack, uh, crack character scratching his chest, you know, just like, sniffing, uh, there's one other person that's shouting up to a window, uh, HEY!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like that. And you see Tyrone lean out of the window. And this is not a joke, but I'm not saying Tyrone in the general sense. He literally said Tyrone. And the guy leans out the window and he's like, AHH! Like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So that wasn't even the best part of it, as we were walking by. This is all pretty, you know, normal stuff. That's not so bad.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sorry for the long story, Lawrence. I guess it's probably time for an ad read.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, they're all old punk rockers now. Yea, they are. They've all grown up, they've all established themselves as adults. All the anger is gone. Yea, although I did see you got hurt, right? You got hurt on... Why? Was it a scrape? Well, it was a scrape though, yea, but it was a mosh pit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wait, wait, hold on. If somebody's got cancer, we should party, right? That's essentially the takeaway. That still, again, doesn't make sense.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I know it was, but now it's a lot. What else is coming out this weekend? This weekend, uh, nothing, cause Civil War is next week, so they're getting all the crap out of the way.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like Craigslist, I'm like, it's usually a flip of a coin, like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Professionals. Or it's like, well you don't make any money if you don't put a hole in my tooth. Ah, I see. So, you're gonna, you're, and if it's no skin off your teeth, huh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh yeaah, the one that I call the special led. Oh yeaah, well, yeaah, it was, it was weird as like, we called out, you said all kids who ride big wheels are special led or something, and I was like, and it got us a strike on the channel.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Or if you're going the route of a steam machine, you can, you know, kind of meet that console price point and still get some of the features that you would have a PC.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, that's- I'm not even gonna resist. He's just chewing. Take me!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Can you get a hundred days to give you a life I think? You know how like rings work in Sonic the Hedgehog? They're not like that. Secrets!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think it's Microsoft, right? Microsoft is the one who may not have gone for it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But Konami wanted to buy in to one of the largest businesses ever. Right, they wanted to own Microsoft. Yeah, they wanted to own Microsoft.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, the funny thing about this story is obviously recently, uh, Kojima came out and he's like, I'm gonna make games with Sony! Right?


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[Assistant] Like, I used to read gaming magazines growing up, and what a lot of like GamePro and like, a lot of magazines would do is they would say, this game's coming out, expect it to come out sometime next year, right? And it'd show you screenshots of it, and it would say, percentage complete.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There was actually a reddit post, it was an explain it like I'm five, uh, can you explain how like most companies use, this is getting kind of off topic, but still kind of on topic, and how little we and a lot of people understand about the industries in which they choose to commentate, uhm, but uh, they were like, how come so many people use like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, Source Engine or Unreal or any of these engines that are like verified good, but then when the game comes out, it's all broken, right? And the guy basically explained it, he said that it's like, you have a garden,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The garden's designed to make carrots, and then you're so you're making carrots, and then someone goes, you know what we'd love to get going in this? Some potatoes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So you're like, uhm, alright, so you push the carrots off to the side, and then you start growing potatoes, but that's not exactly what it's designed for, so it's like, it's just like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, I just thought that was an interesting thing and that's something that I was like, oh yeaah, that does give me better insight on how that kind of process works.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just let it happen. Just let it happen. Woah. Woah. When you put the game in slow motion, those kills look really cool. Pretty awesome. Not cool. Sorry. They looked cool in 1996.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A lot of self expectation for us as well. Like, sometimes we're like, this isn't funny. This isn't funny enough. And it may be for everyone else, but for us, this isn't funny enough for us. Let's figure out a way to make it funnier.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's also important to remember that most of those people that are doing that grunt work aren't the ones getting rich. Yeaah. You can, potentially, but like not really any more so than most other jobs can get you rich. Uhm, so like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The idea that someone's just trying to take advantage of you by releasing a shitty game is...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I don't begrudge anyone for going, Hitler is a fucking monster. He's a horrible person and he's evil incarnate. Totally justified. That being said...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it's actually the, uhm, the journal that tells you where the Ark is. Cool! I would definitely have Hitler signed that. That's a reference.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Adam just made those last weekend. Like, uh, yes. All they did was take the UI from- that can't- the UI- I like people that were complaining about the UI and now that's the game that they're gonna-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And this is just, again, sometimes the loudest people, but like a lot of-


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[Assistant] Loved it because it was like, not an anti-game, but it was like, such a refreshing, new thing for like, for people that were just tired of like, the Call of Duty's and like, the rehash, the games that hold your hand. But now there's like, five of them. And they're coming out like, every single year. And it's like, uhm,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm just, I just, I'm not on summer break all the time. Like I don't get to go home every single night and play video games, you know?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so, I kinda have to be a little bit choosy about what I'm gonna play.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I don't necessarily want to play something where I can spend an hour and a half and then not make any progress whatsoever other than knowledge, which I'm too old. I don't learn new things with video games anymore, so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Are never, like, the predictions that we get? We never get, like, the scoops or anything from that? Like, I mean, the best example, like, you just mentioned Fallout, like, that's something that, like, if you had heard, like, the news on that, could you imagine, like, how excited you would be to report on it, or something like that?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] None of us here really on a personal level, maybe the exception of Lawrence, would like, really give that many shits about?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Also, also, we don't shirk that term to not feel that we're accountable for anything. We still obviously feel accountable. We, like, our jobs are reliant on people wanting to come back to see us again and again.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because honestly, there isn't that much news. But, uh, but it's just a more, it's more of a way to prepare you emotionally for what you should expect out of the industry. You know, like, oh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So like if you're going into this expecting like all these blogs or what a kid like a 13 year old kid's website to


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, like, it's like, that's not gonna happen. And, and, and, and even more so, even more so, it's a matter of stakes. Like, if this is about a building war, or rebellion, or refugees, or like, the well-being of


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Stakes aren't really that high, and maybe you should consider that, and not saying that it isn't important to you, because I love video games, and if video games are just taken away, I'd be like, fuck.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What the fuck am I supposed to do now? Uhm, but...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Unless, unless his wife, he lost his wife because while he was frozen in a chamber, some band of rogues came down and then unfroze her, shot her, and then took his son.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So the thing is you can't deny that a game like Fallout has elements that encourage you to play. Matt Peake himself, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Not there. Uh, Matt Peake himself has admitted several times that he should have gone to bed, but he kept playing the game, right? So there's something about Fallout, obviously. Now, I think before you can attribute accountability to either the game or the man, you should probably take a better look at the man and say,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So he got, he got Fallout 4 within a month and a half of its release, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Probably much sooner than that because his life has already fallen apart because he's played it so much. Yeah. How did he know?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Where did he know that he was gonna get this? Cause you just don't normally walk out and say I'm gonna get this game the day it comes out, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He saw a billboard, whatever, or has he played another Fallout before? Like, did he know what to expect, or has he ever played video games in any way shape or form ever before?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I would also say that, I mean, just general rule, year of our lord 2015 moving to 2016, maybe we don't rely on the single experience of a Russian, a Russian man. Why not? To, to influence like, how we do jurisdictions. What's going on back there?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Not a lot at that age. I understand, I understand what Lawrence is saying. Uhm, I, I get it. Uhm. And it's, this isn't a silly question.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, but yea, I think there's, I think there's a, there's a cultural accountability there too, uhm, because like, like you said, the, you know,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Here's the big, here's the big thing. I think, I think, I think what we need to do, go back, going back to society, and this is, this is way out of my scope to discuss. Most of this conversation is. I'll admit this, I'll admit this right away. For me as well. But, mental health, and...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Addiction, like, should be things that are more openly considered as not something that you should punish the person for, necessarily. Uhm, if that was just generally the case, then maybe we would be in a situation where


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, whether it's to alcohol, whether it's to whatever, this is how we can get him help. Our society has developed methods that allow help to be, like, delivered to him in some sort of way, and then we can help this person, and it doesn't matter if it's alcohol, or fallout, or skinning virgins, like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We can help this person because we understand that they have a mental issue. Like, a lot of societies are ill-equipped to handle mental conditions because everyone just thinks, man, what a fuck up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, so, I think it's a bigger, I think it's a bigger issue. I think, yes, sure, you can put a... There's so many fucking...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Logos at the beginning of a video game you play these days for the engine, for the publisher, for the developer, for the sub-developer, for the multi-player, for all that stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Maybe they throw in one that, that, that instead of says like, don't pirate this game, it says, this game has a, like a reward system, like, play responsibly. Play responsibly.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I think you're looking at mental illness the utterly wrong way. I think a good comparison to this is depression. Depression is the kind of thing where-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What the hell happened there? So here's, here's, here's my thing. Don't litter.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's like, well who would do that? I don't know, maybe someone would. Don't do it! If everyone just doesn't throw their shit on the ground...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Then it doesn't, it's like good, you won't even notice it. It's like, it's there, it's gone, and there's no trash on the ground.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, to me that's just the same kind of statement as, just make it aware, throw it out there, put it out there, it's no effort to put in a fucking PNG that says, this can be a thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There you go. Hit enter, go on by. Right? But maybe, it's a low impact thing. It doesn't, it's not gonna hurt the gaming experience whatsoever. They're not gonna take away your games. Doesn't matter. But, don't litter. Hey.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, but what Lawrence is saying is that they are making, like same with, uh, smoking companies and tobacco companies, they're putting an active ingredient, they're making a conscious business decision.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If they're doing it sub- if they're doing it subconsciously because they don't have friends, then that's one thing. Listen, I'm not asking for a blanket statement.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's what I'm saying. But you were thinking like, you were thinking way far ahead, like, you were like, well what if the Nazis come back?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's my thing. Like, I'm not saying take away the games. I'm not saying make video games illegal. I'm just saying like, I'm saying like, I'm totally down for all drugs being legalized too.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do I think that any sort of information that comes out that says


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hey, maybe these drugs, maybe cocaine's really addictive, should be hidden away, or do I think that should be open? If you go into a drug shop, and you wanna go buy some cocaine, do I think that it's totally reasonable to have a sign up on the door, or above the door, as you're walking in that says, hey buddy, cocaine might


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My dad used to have a little mobile slot machine, right? Yeah. That all he did was just press it. It didn't win anything, and it didn't cost him anything. Of course. And he would just sit in his chair and just bring- But has anybody ever died playing that?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I know, but it's a matter of tiered. I say we're taking it on in the right order, because a lot of fucking people die from drugs and a lot of people die from alcohol. Right, exactly. But, we've already got signs up for those things. We already, people already know, it's already like aware of what's going on there. Well actually we do have signs up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just don't do it. Like, can we not as a society? It's personal responsibility to take care of our society. I think. Just look out for each other, y'all.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But, the only thing I do remember is that every fucking level looks exactly the same, and it only gets more and more drab.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, but I personally think Jose Aldo is gonna dominate and Conor McGregor has nothing on him.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, exactly. And uh, it was just this perfect mix of sort of, we're all semi-adults now and we're all done with family time and then go hang out and talk about and catch up with everything and it was just, it was just perfect and it hasn't been...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Looks like I- So the only reason I'm safe is because both of my legs are wet. Typically when a guy pees his dick is hanging one side or the other. So it just spreads down one thigh. I'm in other wetness.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What, Vagina Witness? Yep. Ah. I haven't admitted that I have a vagina yet. That's true. Maybe today. That's the first-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's, it's a problem unto itself. So today's episode of Dude Soup is brought to you by two sponsors, the first of which is Squarespace and our offer code DUDESOUP at checkout to get 10% off at Squarespace, build it beautiful, and also by Casper Mattress. You can get $50 off toward, you can get $50 towards any mattress, uh, by going to casper.com slash dudesoup and using code dudesoup.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Thank you to both of our sponsors, we'll hear from them later.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Now let's get into the news, uh, Assassin's Creed, maybe taking a year off. We reported in, yea, we reported in this on the know yesterday. Um, essentially,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There was a, an unconfirmed Ubisoft employee, or Assassin's Creed developer, an artist, who started, who just, like exploded on 4chan, kind of saying,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Somebody posted a, yea, I know, I know, hey, whatever. Uh, the difference is this time all of this person's statements actually seem pretty legitimate and less like a 12 year old trying to sound like a developer. Uh, but somebody just posted a next Assassin's Creed, what do you think, where do you want it to be, and the first reply, which was like four minutes later, was somebody saying,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I work at Ubisoft, and there's not gonna be one this year, but the next year's is gonna be pretty sweet. Apparently they're giving it, if you believe the rumors, they're giving it a year to cool off. Oh yeah, I was gonna play Xen's Creed, but I'm gonna play this other thing instead.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That was part of the rumor, yea, the developer said it's gonna be more Witcher-like, uh, open world, which is kind of, I feel like a given with Assassin's Creed at this point.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah, you, basically the, the, the sea was kind of open, a huge open area, and every major town you had to load into.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Metal Gear has, I guess it was never dormant, like there were extended, extended breaks between games, but.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Pac-Man? I mean, it was really popular, they kept making shitty Pac-Man games for a long time, and then, uh, they made a, they made CE and DX, those were really good. Majora's Mask and Twilight Princess? Or no, it's not AAA, but, yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it's, there's not really a game that had a, like a peak of popularity dwindled and then came back. Uh, that's, that doesn't happen often, uhm.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Usually you have to wait for like a cultural wraparound, kind of like Jurassic World or something like that. And I guess games have been around long enough for that to happen.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But then when games come back, they're not even, they're not even like what they used to be anymore. It's very rare for a game, and it's also kind of owing to technology, I think. It's very rare for a game to exist and provide one kind of experience on one set of hardware and then 20 years later to offer a shade or a twist on that experience with a completely new kind of interface and completely new kind of hardware.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] With like movies and music, it's still kind of the same, you're just sitting there and watching it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's why I'm looking forward to VR, actually. I'm really excited to see how all these companies bring their, their IP and their properties and their gaming experiences to a completely new medium. And then you get that kind of cool experience where it's sort of the same but sort of different because it has to be.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I can't. Meh. There's another one. There we go.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If they're releasing the Division, Far Cry Primal, uh, what else? I mean, there's probably, I'm trying to remember what they've got on the slate for this year.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, what do you mean, taking a year off? Taking a year off, yea. I don't, I don't know, I tend to, I tend to not really view it in terms of good and bad. I think it's more like, Ubisoft is really smart, and the fact that they've released a major Assassin's Creed, sometimes two every year since it came out, is phenomenal. Also Assassin's Creed to me is the most, it's like the most, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So they put out the first one, and the chorus was, there's not enough things. So they were like, alright, alright, you guys want things? Fine, we'll put in things. Assassin's Creed 2 had a lot of things in it. Uhm, you know, the map had more icons on it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And you play through that, and it gives you the illusion of variety, so you're like, okay, the good. And then they just kept going down the things route, cause I guess they learned their lesson too well. So by the time you get to Black Flag, like James, I think you were saying, and even Spool was saying,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's a map full of stuff, but none of the stuff is fun to do. And not really any, it's not really interesting. None of the assassinations are that interesting. So what I'm kind of hoping they do is they take a year off and come back with a game that's actually a game, as opposed to just a world crammed with many activities to do, none of which are really that interesting or engaging.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, and to me I hope that's what they mean by the witcher because to me the witcher 3 was Every quest required you to think and solve a problem And sometime and and I really like the writing too because every quest had a little a little dash of originality to it There was a there was always some twist to the point where the twist even became predictable not what it was just that there would be one and


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, so it'd be the sort of thing where somebody's like, oh, go find my coins. And you find his coin bag, but along the way you learn that, like, it's not his coin bag and he killed somebody to get it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So that's just, you know, like, what do you do? Do you take it back and ignore that and collect your reward? Do you hold him accountable and dispense your own kind of wilderness justice? Uhm, wilderness? Frontier justice. There we go, that's the phrase I was looking for. That's what I learned in hate plate. Yeah, that's actually what I was trying to think of.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, I really hope that that's what they try to pull from The Witcher, what they're looking at is gameplay that actually matters, writing that is actually interesting, uhm, and hopefully they just leave it up to the player and then maybe a difficulty setting on whether or not they want that kind of experience.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The frustrating thing is, like, everyone points to Black Flag as their favorite Assassin's Creed, and to me...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] To me, it's actually my least favorite because it's the one that's the least Assassin's Creed. And maybe that's what people actually want, but it had almost no interesting assassinations. Any of the stealth-based levels were terrible because


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There was one stealth line you had to take, and the question was how long do you wait in the bush for the guard to walk past, so you can continue down the line of shrubs that lead right to your objective. And, I don't know, it was...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's all about the hologram lady now, and trying apparently to find her a vessel in the real world to inhabit, but even apparently in Syndicate they just kind of walk away from that one. I'm still playing through Unity. That's the part of the story people give the least shits about, which is frustrating because it was also the one I cared the most about.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like in some Black Flag, there's a lot of shit to get and collect, but...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, and for the first few Assassin's Creed, I 100%ed a lot of them because I really enjoyed just, I really enjoyed the act of running around the world, but then the parkour got a lot faster and got a lot less interesting to watch that they actually kind of stepped back with that with Unity a little bit. The animations got a little more interesting and the parkour got...