[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, they weren't. They were never cool. Arcades were awesome, dawg! You know what the coolest thing you could do in an arcade was? Alpine Racer. No. Get a handjob in the back next to the Tron machine. That's pretty cool. The coolest thing was work there and then walk up to the thing, use the weird shaped key, and go...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, even as a kid, I remember thinking those coin returns were obsolete.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because like, there was never anything in them and I would 90, like 99% of the time put money in something and go, oh no, it didn't work. This thing, joystick doesn't work, coin return. And you go, why would we give it back?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So it's easier to just get the coins out with your tongue. That way you don't get your hands dirty.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah. So not your right, but your left? Only my left. That's weird, it just has a big red mark.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Destroyed, it's already radioactive or whatever, so you don't need to worry about getting more burnt.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm sure there's a certain aspect, cause like, you think about the Beach Boys, the Boys of Summer, that Don Henley sang so beautifully about. It's guys in board shorts, but when the board shorts hang lower than the tan line, it feels like you're seeing more than you actually are. And I think that's the titillation.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That could be cool, but yeaah. I think a bigger problem though, is they keep doing these, let's get a bunch of Twitch streamers together, and then have them all compete, but when you do that,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You've removed the most fun aspect of these battle royale games. The reason they're so popular is because someone figured out that they should always have games constantly going.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh yeaah. Waiting until, getting eliminated and sitting around and waiting until the game is over so that way you can join the next one sucks. So I know where they did a previous one and I was watching like ammunition.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I just think it was PUBG and they were competing in this PUBG tournament with a bunch of streamers. But you go in and then you die and you're streaming and you're like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, I'm gonna load up a different game and do that and I'll check every 20, but because everyone's so good, the matches take...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Three times as long as your average, you know, PUBG match anyway, that it's like, that's the worst aspect of it is waiting for the next game to start. They need to figure out something, some way to resolve that. If you're going to have a bunch of people, a hundred people who are invested in this, you have to assume that only


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And the rest are gonna have really, really short things and then just be fa- cannon fodder for the other people and have to sit around and wait. That's true.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's why I still think that, I don't know if this would work, but I think what you do is you pick five really good Fortnite players and streamers and then you have them play against the world.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And they're just cycling through as many matches as possible and they get points based off their placements. You can actually be like, oh, well Ninja has 45 points with one victory and like, and then other people and you're cycling through your matches and you basically like who can do the best in 10 matches.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Who can have the best overall points scheme by the end of 10 and then you take a break and then you, but they're all playing and you can choose which person. Oh, we're going to go now over to this person. Oh, he's in his third match and he seems to be turtling or whatever like that. And then, but we're back ninjas on his eighth match already, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well what you do is, you do, you set it so that way it's like 5 streamers, 5 matches, the top 3.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Then move on to another set of matches. So it's never...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You avoid the lame duck by having always it ends with the two top ones are now going to compete in the final race of games.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] MLB this year, ticket sales are like way down. Oh, they're way down.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But, the MLB.com service, like the VOD service is actually doing okay. Their VOD service is great. And so it's like, people aren't buying tickets to the games, but they're basically paying for every single game. That's what Matt Peake does every year. Yeaah, because they're subscribing to the games.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Don't pretend that it's because you don't have your glasses. You're just bad with navigating.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, all they have is just, I mean it doesn't look that bad with just the images that they're showing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Zach, from the game, do good or not. It was basically cloud with black hair. No. The end. Cloud was Zach with blonde hair. Sure. Who copied whom? I don't know, Jenova made it whatever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Achievement Hunter has ghost hunting. We have them. Final Fantasy hunting? We go chase down video game nerds.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Let's see, alright. Crazy people involved. Jenova. Oh, that person was everybody.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Jenova, Sephiroth, Rowan Syndrome, Ultimecia, Ultimecia, isn't that Final Fantasy VIII? Yea, that's VIII. Uh, Kuja and President Shinra? Nice. Wow, why do they just lie on their belly with a giant sword in their back all day? That's a Final Fantasy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, then you just go Berserk and you just do that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You would just, you would just, the computer would take control of you and then you'd just 777 down. There was a, there was one way you can go on a date with Barrett, but it was hard.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, my first, I learned to edit cutting together a music video, because remember AMVs? Oh yes. So that was how people learned how to edit. I wasn't a loser like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Instead, I, I ripped Fight Club, the actual Fight Club, and then cut it together to Dewhost. Oh hell yeah. Using, using like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Premier from 2001 or something. Sure, for like Adobe. But then my second project which was way better.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Whiz, I ripped all the CG sequences from Final Fantasy VII and cut it together to the year 2000 by Silverchair.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That would happen. And then afterwards I saw that someone did Final Fantasy IX to In the End by Linkin Park and it was better than the actual music video.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The ones that where they're different take place generally outside of the context of the game. So it generally doesn't link in, go back into the game.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause there's a couple sequences where there's a pre-rendered background cinematic happening, but you can still have the character just run in circles. Is this James' music video? This is very similar. I used most of this stuff. Oh hell yea.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, I'm not saying just pre-rendered, but there's like areas, the stuff where they're tall, it's generally like all crazy, like we're gonna bust out the lobby of Shinra and go onto the highway. Yeah, the motorcycle scene. Like, shit that's like someone just made, they said just like, you just need to go out and do this. But then they look like that when they


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You just get to the point in the game where you reach Costa del Sol and you just chill out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I played that game for a while and then you were like, the ending is not good. It's not satisfying. And I was like, oh, and then they had the special holiday event. So then I went back and I just did the, they turned like this area of the game into just party zone where you just do cool stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I would argue, I would say that maybe you can make an argument for Cloud having greater maximum strength because he is infused with Mako or whatever. Hello. But. That's why his eyes are different, yeah. But, Zach is a- Oh, Snake!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I did that thing, I did that thing too where I was like, this is again audiobooks, clarifier. But I was like, hey if reading's this easy, I s-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So how did Professor Eden know where she was? In his living room. That's a good question.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What about those of us that are gonna have to look at this dark hair on the floor for this entire...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] To the other three women watching, I don't know if this is a thing for you, but for me personally, showering.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And not having like, a shower nozzle that you can take and like, masturbate.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But if I were to, I think that the act of cutting


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Event. And I would want someone close to me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So you had no other option available to you to climb on this roof, like what was Stephanie doing while you were on the roof?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, when we were at Let's Play Spring, Reiki got up on that roof. And that went fine.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My friend and I would like, go out her bedroom window and then lie on...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But you said you were cold up there, in fact. You hadn't even planned appropriately.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's like the line with like the dots on either side, like a comical stitch.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, we were talking about that doc and then Bernie's like, oh, and I was like, I don't want anyone to ever see it. Cause I get really self-conscious about people watching me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I asked him if he could go into the Rooster Teeth Vault so no one can ever see it and Bernie went


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, we talked about like getting a vault, and then we just put like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You guys are talking about two different things. Like a literal vault?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do you think that they had stuff in Disney Vault but then they like let it mature over time and then removed the things that were racially insensitive or culturally insensitive?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was worried when we went to Austin Thursday night and all my mosquito bites from when we were there in May had like healed my 30 bites and I'm like I better not get any.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, I also scratch the shit out of them. I always think of the Flanders quote from the Simpsons when Homer's trying to antagonize Flanders by listing annoying things to him and he lists mosquitoes and then Flanders says, but they're so satisfying to scratch. They are, it is, it is like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I feel like, for me, when I was a kid, you learned a lot about the North.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, you let me die and be buried where I want. I want to be put next to Josh's dad.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Niagara Falls. I'll give you the context. So, we stayed with Josh Thursday night.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I get to Josh's house, like midnight, we get there, and Josh is all like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Giddy, you know, you can tell he's got something he's pleased about.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was the urn. But then he left and went to bed and I'm like, what am I supposed to do? So I just took the urn and put it on the bar.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He loves it. He loves it so much. It's beautiful.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, when you have that kind of gas to just spend, uhm, but like, James is kind of talking about the cost of that gas, of powering that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Someone about this because I was talking about how I love in, I think it comes up in like World War Z the book.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Where they talk about like going to the coast and then putting your back against the ocean. I love, I love the thought of...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We're trying to avoid this apocalypse, so we're just gonna go to the coast, put our backs against the ocean, and that's how we're gonna ride this out. And then... I shouldn't even talk about this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My friend told me about this idea that a friend of his had for a movie called Zombies, where it's zombie bees and


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They, the only way to escape the zombie bees.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause World War Z wasn't a bad movie, it just diverted so much from the source material.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Perhaps the second one will be more in tune with the source material.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're so popular though. Not really. Must be a lot of that happening.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'll say one thing, uhm, as someone that gets a lot of negativity on social media from people,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] gender or whatever you want to say about it. Uhm, I think that now as


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] As a part of education where children are socialized.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In general ways, they should specifically be taught socialization for like online communicating. Did you say netiquette? Yes. Is that a thing? I'm not the one who made that up. Sorry, I wish I did. Yes, netiquette as part of like young childhood socialization, I think would be extremely valuable.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, in teaching people how to conduct themselves and how...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They might be perceived in communicating to, especially with communicating with strangers.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] On the internet. It's different, it's one thing when your friend, you know, says something to you, but it's a whole other thing when you're reaching out to a stranger.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The thing is though, often times though, often times it is directed that way.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A Star Wars film. Of course. Has Jacob seen a VHS player before?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Holy shit. Speaking of Terminator, have you guys seen the stat photos from the next Terminator? I really need to read an ad. With like, uh, it can wait.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Adam doesn't feel uncomfortable, I'm gonna vote for this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We can go to, uh, we can go see it tonight. Maybe. If you want to go to the driving range.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, we did last week, sorry. He goes ha ha ha ha.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Video series once with a company in Salt Lake who makes silences for weapons.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cool. And it was testing the way that silencers sound in game versus when you're actually shooting them in real life. They actually don't. Silencers don't. It's like a cough, right? They don't silence weapons at all. They just suppress them so that it doesn't hurt your ears. It's just better so people don't get ear damage. It doesn't actually make weapons quiet. They're still super loud. Huh. Yeah, there you go.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't imagine so, but we didn't test that. But we did test like another one of the myths is that, uh, in games if you have one equipped,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, Lawrence, you played through, uh, Persona 5, right? Yeah. So you, you definitely have a PlayStation.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We're allowed to say that we have played it. Yes, we have played it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think it doesn't feel that way because of the pro and the X. It feels like they've been extended as a result of that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The two most popular games right now are Fortnite, which is cartoony and art style, and PUBG, which kinda looks like butt.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was at, uh, Quantic Dream, who are making Detroit become human just two weeks ago, and they were still using PS4 dev kits. Uhm, and I believe they're working on one over the next game, as no one said that to me. That's just, like, kinda what I infer from being there for a week. But yeah, they're definitely still not using any new dev kits, and then, not a first party studio, but one that has a very close relationship with, uh, PlayStation, so I'd be surprised if they didn't.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The 100% backwards compatible PS4 games thing, I don't buy that for a second.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, right, like, sorry, I'm thinking all PlayStation games is PS4 games, you're right. I believe it will be backwards compatible with PS4 games. You're right. I completely read that incorrectly. But, uh, at the same point, I think it's also probably going to be...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I remember with the, uh, Scorpio announcement, they had, uhm, Pete Hines saying, like, Skyrim will...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's why they usually show us the case before they get to that point. It was a good question on the chat for me. I think it was someone called like Parcel Moose or something that was, uh, what are the chances PS5 won't have a disc tray?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do menstruates ever have the soap built into them? Sometimes. Little motion strips, yea. Big fan of those. You might be one, yea.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I totally think we got something at E3 for this game. CG Project Red, I think they said they were showing something.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, there was a story not that long ago that was like, yeah, in the next couple months, there'll be a thing. And they were very, and it just can only be cyberpunk because I don't think that it's Monkwent.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Was that tied to a business? Yeah, I dunno, I think we're gonna learn more about this game this year for sure, but I don't think it's out for probably, I dunno, another year and a half.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] For sure VR improvement, but uhm, console itself is hard to say.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's the one thing they should change and should have changed forever ago is the move controls.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I feel like I'm not ready for this yet. I don't know why. It's like maybe it is, it just feels, it feels like if they announced a PS5 at E3 this year that I wouldn't be excited, whereas usually I am. And I think maybe that is because of the iteration recently. I don't know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, Sony still just keeps churning out incredible exclusives as well.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, whereas Xbox everything is basically also on PC, which I think is consumer friendly. I think that's a good thing, but, uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's still selling, like, it's just that it's not selling as well as PS4, like, they're not, you know, they're not gonna flop or anything, but, yeah. Yeah, I think, uh, I dunno, I think...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The, the reason that I would still tell anyone to buy a PlayStation 4 if you haven't had one is The Last of Us, God of War, Spider-Man's gonna come out, I really like Detroit, like, all, all, they still have so many killer exclusives that are, if you want single player experiences, still totally worth it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I definitely think if you had large hands that I would find them annoying, but even then I kinda do, like my thumbs will slip up. I don't have to be like, alright, gotta move this back. It totally is an issue, yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I played Doxals on it, uh, at PAX this weekend.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Fine, like I was worried about the way that it controls. I also played Wolfenstein actually, that was on a pro controller. But, uh, Dark Souls was, I didn't feel like I was playing it on a Switch, which I think means that...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] God. Oh no. I did not know this. You've really opened me up to a whole other world.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, look how sad he is. I hope he's okay, young Mr. Cullen.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know how bad it sucks for that guy when he's 15 and you google his name when he's like going for a job interview and it's like, hey, is your dick okay? Yeah, his name's in there, which is technically...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I saw someone make a mod so that they could play the switch vertically and they managed to get the joycon to work on the wrong sides of the screen. So I think that it wouldn't be hard for someone to make a modded version of a joycon for bigger hands.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But weight would be a problem if it's too heavy for handhelds, like they, it has to get to a point where they're like, this is too heavy for people. When I played Zelda, I played, I don't know,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like yea, you can totally play Mario Kart like that, but that's because that's, it's a simple enough game.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, they're the only ones that aren't cross-play on Fortnite. It's PlayStation. They can't, you can't play PC to PS4? No, you can't cross-play with anything on PS4.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You ready? Uh huh. One, two. Are those mics not all on for Hitman?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How many, are you supposed to get a haircut once a week or something? Probably, I do it every two months.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Soap, shampoo, conditioner, things that have been invented in the last 35 years.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, but geez. Pre-shampoo at Supercuts if you want it. Not interested. Alright. Put that right back in my wallet.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Nice. That's gold status, baby. You have no right to complain about it. I almost got hit by a car today and I thought...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is, my day is going well. Yeah. Like this is, this is not bad. Didn't die. Well I'm like, I could have died. I could have been like that, that woman who was murdered by an uber. Oh yeah. Oh yeah, that's, that's an early uber. Hey that's in our donuts, we got time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We'll talk, we'll talk about it later. Oh shit, no, I wasn't trying to, I was just, I just had a thought because we went to lunch with, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm like, I could be such a little bitch right now and whine and be like, I hate Kabuki Baba. I'm like, how great is life right now? If that's the worst your day is going, is that like?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm not gonna have this fight again. Alright, this is gonna be Lawrence and Mike. Three months. Is this a dude juggling knives on a motorcycle? No.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just you know, like, how you would naturally use it. I don't use it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Haha. Well I'm just saying, how did they meet? What's their, what's the story here?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was hearing from third party people like, really enjoying Lawrence's feed, haha, and I was like, what are you talking about? Like, oh my god, what happened? Like, I just scrolled down and I'm like, who's he yelling at?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Whoa! People smoke weed and play Fortnite! Uh, real quick, how old is Drake? He's like in his- he's like what?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I would say, uh, not quite young, not quite old, but still almost not able to lift heavy things. He's got a good body, he's pretty stacked. Oh no, no, no, no, not dragons, I'm talking about us. Oh, okay. I'm saying that age range is sort of like, you know, now you're at the maintain stage.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah, oh man, bones make weird noises. Uhm, they've been doing that for years though. Sorry, no, no, my bones.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do you think we're going to get to a point eventually, is it going to be a moment maybe what, 50 years from now when gaming isn't seen as a kind of special thing, it's just going to be yeaah?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, like everyone reads, you know, to kill a mockingbird in high school. Yeah, everyone played Shadow of the Colossus. Like, it's no longer gonna be, I see what Lawrence is saying, he's like, who cares if that's special, I do that every day, fuck you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, it's, I can see that, but we're at a point where Elon Musk is tweeting about like, yeah I made Reinhardt and Overwatch, you know, and people are still like losing their shit. But, shouldn't we just be at a place where it's like, yeah of course, yeah everyone plays that game. I don't know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I guess the counter argument to all that is this is a phenomenon that has existed.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The king is, I mean, that's, I know that's the thing that's been going on forever is like, people just follow what the leader is doing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause like, well if the king talks that way, I'm gonna talk like this too! You know, like, that's how trends and things start. So, what I'm saying is Drake is basically Jesus.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I feel like there's a, there's a cycle here though. What happens though is we should all just be loving and accepting of everyone who wants to try anything. That's like a form of entertainment that's not hurting anyone. So it's like, Hey, Drake plays it. And I bet there's one guy is like, I'm better than him. Fuck off.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think I saw people making fun of him like, he held on to too many bushes. I'm like, dude, I didn't know what the bush did. Like when I first played. I need someone on Twitch to tell me and they were very nice.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Eh, new character today though. Oh yea, Brigitte! I dunno. Brigitte, right? Brigitte, just Brigitte. Yea, whatever. Good on you, Ricky. Never changed.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Have any, a layman understand what streaming means.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So they, I, I get that, I get that when they do that, when they're like, this guy makes 500, cause they want, they are trying to, Ricky's right, they're trying to evoke a, a motion out of you, right? Like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hours of, you know, that go into like, doing something like this. I mean, it's...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's easy to look at something like streamers and go, oh, that's easy, anyone can do it. And you're like, yeah, that's... It's actually not. No, it's not. I think it's one of the hardest things you could possibly do. Successfully, obviously.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I think that goes for a lot of people, like PewDiePie said it over and over where he's like, I'm very lucky.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's like, I won the, the YouTube lottery. I did, I mean, he also worked hard for this thing, but.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's- That's always the thing, people always ask, like, I- What's the easy way of me doing this? Like, there's no easy-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, this- Don't have to. Speaking of being rich.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I need the St. Bernard to bring me the drink, but I want the drink.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you catch my meaning. Is Google Home only, uh, 50 bucks now? You know, when you're in an avalanche, the dog comes with a little martini thing. It's the St. Bernard. St. Bernard. With brandy. Have you seen cartoons? Come on.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I can't, I can't tell if he's happy in this situation. It sounds like he's proud. I finally defeated a woman with a shitty sword from Madame Souser.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, was he like exercising by fingering another woman or? Maybe? And if he's playing games for so long and there's other women's hair in the shower, how are you sneaking women over?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't think they can get through much. I mean, I'm not gonna test it, but you know, you're not, it's not a steel blade that's folded 94 times.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You can go to, there's so many, uh, like videos of people using, like, shitty mall swords. Yeaah. It just, just, break! It just breaks. Those are garbage. You want a real sword, you talk to me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Adam's got a sword guy. I once bought the sword from Blade.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, when I was in high school, it was $30 on eBay. I sent a money order, the guy never sent me the sword. It is, but it serves me right. Did it come with a jacket?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, absolutely not, it didn't. No, it did not. That's how they get you though.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And Adam had the blade sword. I never got it. Well, but you tried. I tried. Man, oh did I try.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's back when you'd burn the same song twice. Cause you just didn't have any mp3s.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Imagine if you had that handycam today. What you could have done.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is slightly related. I had to sleep with my dick out this morning because I've been noticing I'd be getting like the random morning wood.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You'll usually have to pee, right? But then I'll notice that because my dick's constantly rubbing against my clothing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I'm like, if I just have it hanging out. Right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I can't sleep naked. What? I don't know, I can't do it. I've been doing that more and more, the older I get, it's delightful. It's fantastic. I don't know, it's weird, I like, I need to feel, uh, this, let me know if this doesn't make sense. I need to feel cold. Yeah, no, I get it. But like, but I have to be warm.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like I have to be like bundled up and like I need to be warm, but there needs to be some sense of cold out there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, but I can't be hot under the covers. The minute I'll have that I'm like, it's over. I would not survive if it was 50 years ago.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Pawn shop or like a thrift store? I don't know, the pawn shop. There's more, there's like- I see a-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I, in a way, I feel guilty, pre-guilty, because I think I killed Lawrence. Yeah, you did. Because I was- Oh, you did? Well, no, see, I didn't mean to, because I, I do a dumb thing where, like, I have a new idea every week, and I think, like, how can I better my life, and I'm trying to, like, so,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was talking about like, oh, maybe I'll get an electric motorcycle because I don't live too far from the office and I'm, I'm driving this stick shift thing right now and it's a, it's a V8 muscle car. I'm like, I'm just killing the environment for no reason. And it just makes no sense. I should probably just get a bike. I'm like, oh, wait a minute. Electric motorcycles are a thing. And I started looking into it and Jess was just like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, so it's like, fast forward to like, local man killed because motorcycle. I'm just like, fuck. Because before that, Lauren's like, oh I'm looking at getting like a, like a hybrid, like a Chevy Volt or something. And I'm like, yeah, those are cool. I was looking at motorcycles. Motorcycle you say?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's the weird thing, right? You, this is the world you're entering where you're like, oh, I wanna go test drive a motorcycle. Like, cool, we just need your motorcycle license. Like, but I don't have a motorcycle.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so you have to go test drive one and then they give you the garbage one and you're like, is this what it's gonna be like? But you're probably gonna get a cool electric motorcycle. Yea I am.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, I think basically is an electric motorcycle, but...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They just go, I mean, but, so, I mean, I, I was, when we were working at Hollywood, I had one of those, and like, it goes right up a hill. It was nice. Stupid to take on a metro.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] 450 pounds? Yea. I mean, you're a little cool, I guess. No. I'm gonna get a tron suit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's about what you'd spend on like a brand new lease of like an electric car. Something like that. Uhm, I guess you own it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] For a car, and then a motorcycle I think was like 3 grand or something like that. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I ran into Joel over the weekend, he's like, he's like, I think I'm getting it. I think, I think my, I'm next in line. I was like, you're next in line to be able to pay for a car. Either way. Oh, that's why. Good for Joel.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I kept hearing a medieval when I kept saying it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was talking to someone about it, and I was saying, I'm-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I just, I, I always think of that joke where I'm like, I see someone's mom and I'm like, nice, like what? I'm like, I know she puts out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's a way to pick up chicks. Anyway. But anyway, the God of War stuff, look. It looks cool, but it just doesn't look like God of War. Does that make sense?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My experience with Hexen was I saw it once at a comp USA.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Justin, I will do a Vegas trip, and go see Blink on YouTube. That would be great. Alright, we can all go.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah, that just makes me sad. Yeaah. Man, what does the corpse of Disney, Walt, think about this? But they wear these cool, like, cuts, like motorcycle games?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Bars maybe? Where'd all the misanthropes hang out? Stock?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know, I mean, dude. You know how expensive it is to go to Disneyland? Yeah, it's a lot of money. Dude, they'll probably have like season passes and Disney's like, we're gonna increase it 75% and they're like, you got it! I have a gang! I mean, a club, sorry.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Blasting through Tron logos and stuff. You should treat a microphone like a gun, it's always loaded.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Ah, shit, you ruined it, Lawrence. Uhm, yea, people keep asking about the, uh, the face shirt one. It's, there it is, it's on sale. This guy. There you go. Fun Bunch. There's the Fun Bunch. Bye now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're basically just sending us cool stuff now and going, what do you think? We're like, oh my god, yes. Wow. We're so privileged. God, stuff I saw today. I showed you guys earlier, it's awesome. I'll show you Bones.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because it's happened to me multiple times now. Yeaah. From the pornographic imagery that's made of me. Congratulations.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Thank you. I didn't know the terminology, I didn't know that people refer to it as deepfake, but I was fully aware with the facial mapping technology and that it is very prevalent now, unfortunately.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm sure someone's done it to you. Yeah, I guess.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We're all bored. Was there one guy in the group that was like, dudes got an idea?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I thought about it a lot and had a tough time because my


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That there is a huge potential for confirmation bias and this sort of thing to be very dangerous.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, but when I think of new technology, I always think of how it could be applied in a medical way. So stuff like, you know, Skype and


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Being able to connect remotely when it comes to like surgery or...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Doing any kind of, uhm, like, counseling, stuff like that. I'm like, oh, that's really great.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Whenever there's stuff involving facial recognition, I guess my brain always goes to neurological related things. So like, I was like, I wonder if there's something with Alzheimer's treatment or something where it's like maybe, maybe the, if you're able to like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Somebody can create media that then, you know, somebody that's close to you in your life, they're mapped.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If someone close to you passes away, you're able to, you know, map.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, and so like that's kind of where my brain kept going was really dark morbid stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, you create propaganda and you create a facade of something that is speaking to people who are already really susceptible to that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, de-aging and stuff. I wonder if like actors will eventually start to sign contracts where there's a stipulation that should you, in some freak way, pass away during the production.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I'm not saying that that's then, you know, uhm.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Indefinitely signed away, I'm saying that's just for the duration of the production, the script that you've signed onto with no alterations, no, you know, amendments, this is the...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We can complete this project with your likeness.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, reinforce their already radical beliefs.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That happened to you, and I think the same can happen with this. So yea, Lawrence, we did stay on the clown subject.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, because in the pornography I've seen of myself, it's just my face.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, keyed map to this person's face, but if you'll remember the, uh, Barack Obama, that was clearly, like, manipulated articulation of his facial muscles. So, I guess what I'm saying is, uh, Barack and I, uh, step up your game.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What was the- Wait, what did you wanna establish here? First person.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He was like 18 or 19. I was really interested in common when I was a kid. And I went to the art gallery of Ontario, had all, probably what's at LA right now, all his treasures, they did it then, so I was like fuck it, like, I'm gonna go.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He was really sickly. I think he like died before they could...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just like one of the most fascinating things about him and when I was a kid and I would watch specials on A&E and stuff when they would still show that kind of thing, it was always like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How did, the obsession was with how it took in common died? Because they were trying to like, at the time...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] 20 years ago they were trying to recreate his skeleton, figure out what all the ailments he had. There were a bunch of different theories on like, was he murdered, did he just die of malaria.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] All this stuff and because there was no record of like his death, like nobody cared enough about him.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Or at least, or got lost to record like the final days of his life.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, which now it's like everything, like the most minute detail exists because of technology. Yeah. The obsessive like logging we have now, but yeah, it's crazy, like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's only among hunters. Uh, yeaah, yeaah, thank you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] From a subjective point of view, I actually do enjoy watching this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Howl at midnight, a forgotten dog's roleplay fully encapsulates what we're going for. So I have to vote for them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It very much is like the end of Ratatouille when they have their little bistro up in the rafters. Did you vote?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, Tromeo and Julia just came out this week, uh. My filip gun.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A US born lesbian of color also living in India.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Both the fans stated that they were HIV positive and both had main blogs of their own.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Together, they ran the Hiv Living Tumblr for over a year until Naj linked to her Cash.me fundraiser asking for help for medical expenses. Digoxin Purpurpia, another Hamilton fan,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, he broke up with his girlfriend like a couple months ago. It was pretty amicable. They're still friends.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, he met a woman, he's probably, he might be watching the podcast right now. He met a woman, like, recently, like maybe a week ago. They started...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is too new, she's leaving town, like tomorrow, today.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like a, like a great, or not great name, St. Bernard. Yeah. Exactly. Lawrence, your brain.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] See, I thought you were pooping and I'm like, oh yeaah, I couldn't get my Wii U tablet to have reception when I was trying to poop in them. Right. Play it. That's what I assumed also.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, I was thinking that like, okay, if you're in the shower, I get it. I thought you meant like you're just standing in the bathroom.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I can tell you a Valentine's Day story. Please do it. Uh, last Valentine's Day, James, we don't celebrate Valentine's Day, but we went to Blaze Pizza to get some dinner for ourselves. It's not a nice pizza place. No, it's just a normal, like, make your own pizza place. You order at the counter. It's good. Um, but it was so fucking packed in there. It was so busy. We were waiting forever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then this guy, he has a little sketch looking.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He gets his pizza, finally picks it up the counter, he-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Looks in the box and he goes like storming up back up to the register and he's like, yo, like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is not my girl's pizza. You fucking ruined Valentine's Day. Oh shit. You froze the pizza over the counter and I'm just like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then, and then, um, uh, he like stormed out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And generally James is really good if like somebody's treating waitstaff or people working in the service industry really badly, he'll say something to like that person. But that guy had like stormed out, so he didn't have an opportunity to. But we were like, if, if there's an issue, like let us know if you have an issue with your boss, cause like we'll vouch for you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, we saw how miserable and terrible that guy was, but I was just like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Bisa was upended from the box, but I was like, I mean, I think a lot of, like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like grown men are like, like, that behave like that, like that's not, that's not a grown man thing to do.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He was so concerned with impressing his girlfriend on Valentine's Day that a mishap with the pizza ruined things, but him throwing a pizza and screaming at someone wouldn't change their opinion or his girlfriend's opinion of him.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They did not. They did not. It was an immediate reaction on his behalf. He was displeased with the pizza. He knew he had to projectile it immediately. He knew. But yea, that was pretty crazy stuff for me, guys. Pretty wild.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Have you guys ever, uh, catfished anyone in one of those?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, I don't know how deep Lawrence went with his female avatars, but...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh yea, if I'm like deathly ill, like terrible, like cold or anything, I'm like, I can't even imagine.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But- If anything's a little bit off. The opposite, I-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's kind of their, like, M.O., right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is it uncool to like Valentine's Day? Let me pose that question for you guys. I feel like maybe I'm, I'm...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Lazy about it and I don't feel jaded about it. I don't feel like Valentine's Day is a lame holiday. I don't feel that way at all. I think I just feel.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's, there are so many holidays now, there are so many moments of, you know, acknowledging the person you love, and then the moments that you just choose for yourself to acknowledge the person that you love, that I'm kinda like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't, I don't need it. But I think a lot of people, there's an aversion to Valentine's Day because it's like, oh this is lame. It's forced. It's lame. I mean it's definitely controversial. It's commercialized.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You are, yeah. The tiki, I don't want to share too much of your personal life, the tiki thing. Well that was your idea. I don't think it was mine. Are you sure?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're also very good. They are delicious.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There, there, I did see, uhm, I don't know if I can make it through this without gagging, but uhm, there was a, in the 90s, there was this Canadian talk show called JonoVision, hosted by Jonathan Torrance.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Anyway, that means nothing to anybody. But they would have weird people on like a soft Jerry Springer. And there were these, this like young teenage couple that apparently like loved giving each other farts. I know, it makes me gag like thinking about it. In like a kink way? I can't, it kind of, yeah. It makes me gag, I can't even.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I could type out text for one of you to read, and this is described. I wonder if you could Google and find it if you search John-O-Vision farts. Is it H? J-O-N-O-V and then vision.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. Makes me gag. If the thing exists, there's probably a fetish for it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If uhm, if this is too personal, you don't have to answer, but if it was an old woman and a young man, would you have just been like, oh, okay, he's got a fetish for like milfs or older women. I feel like I would find it equally old.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But yea, there's something about this relationship between these two people that he's getting off on. But if it was a young man like himself and an old woman, I'd be like, oh, he's into old women.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, hurting someone. Even in the thumbnails, you can see the long, and I'm, ohhh. It also makes no sense for typists. I feel like typists always have the, like, you go to somewhere and the receptionist, her nails are this long. She just likes her nails that way. And you're like, how are you?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're so human and we know that they're- the- Before that happens. Like before they-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, I would, I would definitely feel weird about it. I would also feel weird about that. If James is like, I'm gonna go to Westworld and I'm going to fuck this like biologically like sufficient model.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah. Sorry about that. I would find it weird. I think I would too. I would not be game for it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's not sexual in nature, but I saw recently that there's this like Uber service where it's not Uber, but it's, it's human Uber. So it's like, if you don't want to go to a party, you send somebody with an iPad on their face.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I have a cold, it's not that bad, it's just sore throat.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's me. At your party. No it's not. Wait, it is a person? Yea, it's a person. Okay, now against it. Back to being against. Wait, so you're not for me sending-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Maybe reading material, it's very short.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is this gonna spoil it? It is going to bring down the, uh, the pace of this podcast.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I shouldn't have brought it up. It occurred to me. It is a situation of a, of a spy, a male spy having sex with an American soldier and...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's always really dark when they have sex. He's dressed as a woman.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And kind of it's, it's when it goes to trial later, the whole situation.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The, the, it's a question of whether the American soldier knew and kind of just was, he blinded himself to it, whether he knew that was actually a man, masquerading as a woman, having sex with him, having a relationship with him, uhm, or if he,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just was completely oblivious to it. Anyway, anyway, it doesn't matter. It totally matters, that's not topical.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I want to meet the individual that will go to like the deepest part of the ocean and to the most outer reaches of space that will have accomplished both.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, it's kind of like the stigma that babies can cure AIDS. That's a thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] During the AIDS epidemic in Africa, you would find situations where you would have people abducting babies because there was this stigma, this belief that purification of that innocence that you could cure AIDS. Wow. Yes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, there's a great, I believe it's a revisionist history podcast episode about when McDonald's changed the original recipe of their fries. Because they wanted to, uh, they just had a lot of-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it was animal fat that they cooked them in and so there was a lot of resistance, you know, emerging diets and, and, and what's in terms of like health good for you to eat. There was some resistance to them continuing cooking in animal fat. So they changed their original recipe and now, you know,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh yea, I ate McDonald's like on my way home the other night. I had like chicken nuggets, burger and fries before I got home. I live like 15 minutes from here. Yea, I ate it all.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, I think there are certain McDonald's-isms to the way that they make their food, that like the fact that they, it's frozen, I'm sure gives us, it gives something, it gives some kind of texture to that meat, just the same way that cooking in animal fat is going to give you a specific taste.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I can tell you, I think I've told this story in the podcast before, where...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was at a McDonald's and I got my burger and I started eating it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And there was a sticker, like I guess from their fry line, they had to hang stickers to hang their receipts and it had fallen and it had gotten on my burger. It was there. And...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I just started eating it, so I took it back to the counter and I was like, excuse me, don't wanna get anybody in trouble. It seems like an honest mistake. There's a sticker on my burger.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Can you please just swap it out for another one? And the manager was like, you know what? I'm gonna make, I'm gonna do you better. I'm gonna make you a fresh burger right on the grill. Nice. Fresh patty. Wow. Cooked right on the grill. And I'm like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They did a taste test where they matched that old recipe and then they had a bunch of kids who were like, you know, in their teens. That's perfect. Taste testing fries.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I was like, wow, what if we get into that situation where we have a whole generation of people that don't know what frozen beef...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] McDonald's tasted like. You're right. I never thought about that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think that's smart though, because it's McDonald's responding to a new health conscious, at least in America, culture, and them saying, well, we're going to


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If I'm going to McDonald's and I'm like, I'm not going to try to be like, health conscious at all, I do like a 10 nugget combo and then a double cheeseburger. That's what I eat. And the fries, right? Sometimes, oh yea, it's a combo.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I guess there's like the open house. Oh yea, the open house.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just rip it off YouTube, the one for Chris Angel, and then put your face on it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] True, but it could have been Lawrence, because he's the only one who walks through the building. Or Stephanie.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh no, I don't mean that. She put it out into the universe. She kept saying, those stairs will collapse, those stairs will collapse. She tempted fate. And then eventually they collapsed.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I have dark thoughts all the time like that. Uh, what is it called? Erin Markey introduced this concept where it's staring into the void, and there's a French term that uh, I mean staring into the void, meaning basically if you think about it, it's like, well what would happen if, like you have a knife in your hand and you're like chopping onions or something, and somebody walks into the room and you're like, what would happen if I stabbed them?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's an accident. I'm saying like, staring into the void, it's like for me, what would happen if I did something to someone else or did something to myself? Like, often I think,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm driving and I'm like, ah, I had a bad day. Ah, the pill of the void, yea. La Pelle De Vie. La Pelle De Vie, that's what it is. Uhm, where you're driving, you're kinda like, what if I just yanked the wheel and the whole car turned and like flipped, and like, you'd hurt a bunch of other people obviously, but then also.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That means you're crazy, because if you're not self aware to the fact that you're thinking about those things, you're probably gonna do one of them, Omar. Just by accident? You're a serial killer, yea. Where were you the night that these stairs collapsed? Yea Omar, what were you doing last night?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I didn't say you were a hero, you just did what you should have done. I guess what, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Terrifying. They really are, cause like, I saw one underneath a house the other day, I was watching a video, where like, basically it had just sucked the entire house, you know, off from underneath it. Thankfully they're all gone, but I've seen people drive into sinkholes, where like a sinkhole opens up and they just fall into it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I would say, I would say that there's another Jacob inside me occasionally, cause I have the same, the same, uh, I guess not inclinations, but I wonder ifs. Another thing that I used to do, Jacob, here's something that I, I, it's sort of like the lapel du vide, but instead it's,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I would do these things, and I would never see the result, but I knew I was causing people not pain, but like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, humor? I would write, so here's another, here's a trick for all you kids in high school or college. Uh, go to a closed classroom that's not locked.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, they have a chalkboard or a whiteboard. Write something on the chalkboard or whiteboard. And now typically a classroom will have a projector screen that you can pull down in front of the chalkboard or whiteboard. So what I used to do...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is I would go into classrooms, I did it in high school and in college because I loved it. I would just write penis. That's all I would do. I'd write penis on a whiteboard, pull the projector down because then, there was one time, the reason I would do this is because there was one time I was in a classroom.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, the teacher came in a few minutes late, uhm, we were all sitting down and he was like, alright everybody ready? And he pulled the screen up and it said penis on the-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, that was really funny, so I've been doing that ever since. Uh, I still do that if I see a...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I can see the deck. I can see it. How do you know which parts to erase and which parts to not? You don't.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, it's just a video. Got it. Okay, so the teacher made this. Yeah. That's pretty cool. Look, teacher pranks are cool and all, but it's way cooler when it's a student prank. Yeah, way cooler.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'll think of like a thing that I do often is anytime I go to a restaurant or a movie theater or anything like that, I think about what like, let's say the worst, let's say there's a shooting, right? What's the worst thing that could happen? I think of exits. I think of ways to get out. I also think of ways to stop


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, uh. You could be a hero just like me, Bruce. Right, yes, I could be a hero just like Lawrence. Uhm. You're just waiting for your day.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're planning every day for your opportunity. Uhm, because this is something I thought of a lot. I think probably ever since like Columbine. It's probably initially when I was like, holy shit, what would I do in that situation?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so then I think about, I've thought about it ever since then. Uhm, basically like, if there's a natural disaster, that's a little easier because then you're like trying to find the exits, trying to make sure you help people out, uh, that kind of thing. But if there's something that's, uh, related to a human, they're doing something to someone else.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Then I'm like, well, you know, fucking stop that shit. So, how are you gonna do it?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I still think about those things. Uhm, there was one time, I remember, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think it was my aunt. My aunt was saying that she was like, early on when I was young, I was like 13, 14.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, she was looking at my mom, we were at, uh, at a lunch or something and she was like, should we tell him? And my aunt's looking at my mom like that and, and I was like, well, you knew you were adopted at that moment? I was like, yeaah, I was like, what are they gonna say to me? Hear what's, what's going on? And she was like, well, we've got a gift. And I was like, well, what's the gift? And, and my aunt was saying basically,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There were a couple times that she would look at a person, just any old random person, co-worker, friend, whatever, and be like, I'm not sure if that person's gonna make it through the week.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And she was like, she was like, there are times you might have premonitions.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I've, I've had a couple of those throughout my life. A couple of random, uh, premonitions. Uhm, one of them is having to do with my ex-wife, but I'm not gonna talk about that. Uh, but, uh, but yea, but like, I've had a couple of those and they're, they're super strange. I don't know if you guys ever get those sorts of things.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Somebody's gotta record a podcast. The, uh, the, one of the best examples of that, cause I know what you're talking about. I think about it all the time when I'm driving. Uhm, the, uh, the first one, and the one that constantly comes to mind, is the person that's in the front of the line at a green light. Oh. If it turns green and they don't go. Yeah, yeah. And they're like the exponent, the ripple. You know why they,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean like, I'm not saying I know why they do this, but I'm betting one of the reasons why they do this is because they know they're going to make it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So they're first, and they're like, ah, fuck it. You know what? I know when to make this green light, so they don't go fast. And it's funny because I'll occasionally like, uh, if I'm two cars back on a green light, I'm probably going to make the green light or I'll probably make it through. I'll still honk at the person that's in front.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You have responsibility. Uhm, and, and also obviously I want to go too, but it, it benefits everybody that we all go fast so that we all get through. Uhm, and that's one of those things that I, I think about a lot is like somebody who's not thinking about other, other drivers on the road, they don't give a fuck because you know what? Fuck it. I'm going to make it. Doesn't matter.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, you get to call him to move. Yeah, exactly. And show him that your ticket says, you know, that seat number. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He is, which is why I was hoping- Even though Omar's got PMA, I still think Jacob's the most powerful. I wanted, uh-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I thought that a lot about like holding, have you guys ever held like a four week old puppy?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, because tiny little dogs, if you accidentally sit on, you'll snap their back. Um, and like if you're holding them, and I mean, I, you know, I think they, I think they understand that you could kill them right away.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I always think to myself right away, well they are trusting me with their life, so then, uh, therefore I will treat them with respect. Because, because, you know what, if they can do that, then I should treat them with respect. Because that's what I would want, if a giant picked me up, and I was just like, please don't snap me in half. Then it'd be like, I respect you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean. Probably forever. 30 minutes? Because look at him, he's just doing this. He's not even moving.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There was always like head walking. I would see it, uh, hardcore shows with someone to get on top of the stage. And then they'd literally walk themselves out through the crowd, so trying to step on people's heads and shoulders. And just take off running off the stage and see how far they'd get. So cool. So cool. Whenever I saw somebody do that, I was like, nope! Hands up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So you gotta wait for, like basically the reason they're doing that is they're waiting for something to, either the music to get heavier, or they're waiting for somebody to throw something. Cause then once that happens then the whole thing triggers, right? Then the whole mosh pit goes off and everybody gets super excited and starts throwing shit. But usually they're jogging cause they're trying to rest.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Bullshit. I wanna shove people around, hold on. I wanna shove people around.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This was definitely a John Smith pick. Yeah. 100%. I love it. He's familiar with him. I had, I swam with him. Yeah, I knew he was.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sorry. I mean, like, is there that many swing kids left? Uh, and by the way, I was in the ska, but not in the swing. Even though I went to swing shows. Shut up. You liked all of it. Everyone liked all of it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Guys, swing is dead. Ska is dead. It's all dead. Stop it. Look at all the suspenders. Yeaah. Stop. All that nice hair.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We're gonna make it big. We're bringing it back.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Again, they didn't get paid. They definitely did not get paid for this. Which is why anybody will have them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because they're free? Yeah, alright, yeah, let's do it. They brought, they brought their nice suits. This time they're doing cool drumming stuff though. This is when I get up to go get a hot dog. I think everybody else did too. Yeah, no they did. They understand. Wow, they're killing it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Simon, it doesn't matter. Simon's right. I definitely peaked in 1998. 100%. I was 16 years old, and it was great. Uhm, what was I saying? Never been better. Oh, I had a female trombonist.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Female tromboner, if you will. Nice. Trombone is the... Oh, she was awesome too. And then I think I have female saxophones as well.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, I just wanted people that could play horns. That's all that matters. What did you play? I dr- I drummed.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is fire ads cause they say the boring company. How hard is this? C'mon guys, you should know that. This is fucking Elon Musk. Not, not well, also he's a genius. He's a genius, but like- But yeah, but look, that's absolutely something that lots of people would want.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But $500? That's a lot. That's a lot of money. It's a lot of money. But regardless, of course. Of course they sold for that much. Of course!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Also, where can you buy a flamethrower? Nowhere!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, obviously, like, to me it's funny, uh, I was thinking about that the other day, I was like, after I saw this, I was like, holy shit, I've always wanted something like that. Cause I wanted it to use it for a number of times for videos and stuff, but I'm a unique use case. Uhm, but I think everybody wants a flamethrower.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, check out. Alright. Great. If you- if you move it over there- If you move it over there, I'll type it in.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There you go, Bruce. Oh hey, I got a thing! I got a flamethrower.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, but it also may be partly true. Uhm, and I'm not saying that, I'm actually going to want to ask after the post show during our, like, question and answer, I want to ask people if they knew, like, generally speaking that people block followers, because we knew that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We, I think we've known in the industry for years that this is something you can do. You can buy views on YouTube, you can buy, uh, Twitter followers, you can buy Twitch, Twitch watchers, uhm, all that stuff. Uhm, and we've known that, I've known that for at least five years. So I'm wondering if that's what our audience knows too, because this seems like a big expose, like they're, oh, look at all these people that are exposing, I've known this for years.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I just looked the other day, it's funny, right before this, this, uh, we were talking, we were talking about other people in the industry that we're pretty sure have a lot of followers, but we don't know for sure. Uhm, and I was like, I wonder how much it costs? And so I went and looked it up, Lawrence, what do we find?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Doesn't make sense. It's not actual traffic. The audience engagement is nowhere near how many views it got.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] One other thing we noticed too is like, when you think of buying followers, they're like, oh I bought 50,000 followers so they all appear tomorrow.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, that's not the case at all. They slowly trickle in to make it seem like you're gaining more and more followers. Uhm, which is smart, right? That's what you should do. That's what Davumi does.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. Well, one thing we know in the industry again is the more followers you have, the more you can charge for a tweet.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes. So they, so like for example, if a company wants to buy, let's say Ubisoft wants to buy your Twitter and have you tweet out something about the new Assassin's Creed. If you have, you know, let's say 50,000 followers, uh, your, your tweet will cost $500, but if you have 1 million, then


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're, you're like, well, no, that cost five thousand. Yeah. It's like $50,000 and like that for one tweet. So it's absolutely worth it if you bought those bots and then you're selling your Twitter account. Um, because you're basically at that point, you've made a profit the first time around you sold one. Wow.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think it was, wasn't it Michael Jones just tweeted about how he had somebody bought him a bunch of bots? Yeaah. And I was like, that's why I like Michael, because he immediately called attention and was like, alright, these are all fake, somebody did this for me, uhm, and I hate it. Like, he was super bummed about it, which I actually really appreciated. Give somebody else bots?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You can buy them for whoever you want. If you're willing to spend 2,000 bucks or 5,000 bucks, it doesn't matter. They'll take your money.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, again, I'm pretty sure they'd do it, like celebrities have done it because they make money off of it. And like, when you look at it that way, it's like, alright, well that makes sense, uh, from a business perspective, because they made money immediately off their purchase.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, all VR and he programmed the entire thing. Like it's awesome. It's so cool.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, VR anime wedding wins for me. Yeah? Uh, you bet. Okay, that's what I figured. This guy should win every week. Uh, Omar, what do you think?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We didn't give Omar the full scope of that project. It's pretty amazing. I guess that's true.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, check this out. Uh, next time somebody mentions a car to you and goes, boy, isn't that car cool? And you go, yeah, that car is cool. You're going to see it all over the road.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Would you, did Adam come to some kind of intellectual harmony about the baby Groot situation?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is it like Tank Girl, but with a lap? No. Are you sure? Don't you think that would perform better at least? Don't you think that would test?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Not Juliet Lewis. It's a new computer. Fuuuck. All I have is kit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Nice job! Wait, Lori! Yeah, that's Tank Girl! Yeah, okay, sorry. We were talking about Tank Girl. Oh, we were finally talking about Tank Girl and I missed it!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because I liked Massive Attack well before House was popular. Well before. And...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's, uh, it sure did suck to really enjoy that album and then have everybody go, oh, it's the host song. And I was like, no, where's my credit for liking them? It's hard not getting that. It's in the mail. Yeah? It's been a long time. It's coming. Wasn't that show over?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, looks like we're done. Uh, thanks for tuning in everyone. Hey! Welcome to a, uh, prostrating, pro-apologetic Bully Dude Soup.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, Annihilation Hit Theaters. James forgot something, he'll be right back. That's cool. Yeah. Oh, you don't need your watch probably. Is that what you're going to go get? I think so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't think you need it. Uhm, or rather, the show notes say must wear watch.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I know, it has a better reputation, I guess. Michael's getting cheeky in chat. We talk under the intro, man. It's our, uh, it's our cool little thing we do.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Man, I love white dudes rapping. That's a thing taking off on Twitch now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, like, like, Twitchlords, dudes with beards, they'll play Fortnite, we'll get to that in a minute, for hours and hours and hours, and they'll be like, okay, give me a beat, and then they'll just like, I see him with my eyes, let me have some fries, and I'm just like- I love doing that. Like James D'Angeles. He raps, he's a rapper. He's a rapper. I do that at home.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh boy. You're already getting into it, Adam. The topic for which I must offer my own personal apology, which is our very skilled and accurate handling of race discussion. I was never more happy to be doing my taxes rather than be on a podcast.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, so, uh, real quick, last week we talked about, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, inclusion issues as it relates to came and come deliverance, uh, people were unhappy with that, and I understand why. Or rather, I think I have pinpointed a few threads of commonality that I can specifically make alterations to to address. Uh, I personally don't think that we have anything to apologize for in terms of what content was said.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In the same way, I'm actually pretty happy with how the audience reacted to it. It was just a whole bunch of people expressing themselves and...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Varying degrees of civility, but mostly civility. Uhm, so that's pretty great. I think the system worked as intended. I read through a lot of the feedback. And, uh, as such, I think I've identified a few things that I can change to try and make the tackling of those issues a little more holistic in the future.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So the, one of the issues that I had always, uh, been


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Frustrated with was, so we used to do news, uhm, and I really liked doing that. And I kind of thought that this podcast would be another avenue for us to do that. Uh, the problem is, since the podcast is improvisational, and it's not really all that structured in the sense that after I do an info dump at the beginning, it's just kind of open season, uhm, there's a wide gulf where somebody can either through a slip of the tongue or through stringing together a bunch of,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah, someone who? I don't know. I mean, I've been guilty of it too, I'm not pointing blame at anyone. Uh, so like, it's, when I used to write news, I could control context when it's improvisational, I can't.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] To it, uh, I think what I'm going to do going forward is if we ever discuss something like that, I want to keep the tone lighter, you know, we're not here to solve world hunger or keep people from shooting each other as much as it would be nice to do that. Uhm, but...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, so I think we will continue to talk about them, but maybe in a different way. So what I'm envisioning is, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Not necessarily a game show, but something a little more structured where I will announce, okay, we're gonna stoke the SJW fire a little bit, so here's the structure going forward. I will now be the person who delivers information. Here are all the links, both to the people on the show and to you, the audience. Uhm, and then after that,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I personally will always be devil's advocate and I will make this declaration off the top. So my, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My role then will be to basically, not necessarily challenge, but, uh, compliment what everyone else naturally believes. Uh, and in that way, hopefully, views are represented in a responsible way, and you, the audience, won't feel frustrated that it sounds like it's just a bunch of people jerking each other off with their soft, liberal California palms, breathing their


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I disagree. Then where does that leave you, Lawrence? Uh, good question, Elise. I've thought about that. I mean, if, if, if...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Observing the conversation, I feel as though all of the various sides that I've researched in my research are represented, then I don't have to do anything. But if, if, uh, if I feel as though there's an aspect or an angle to a particular story that is out there, or that people, I can take on the voice of people, because I read all this stuff too.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I know the concern is that I'll self-select, but this is what journalists do. You kind of have to trust that they know how to do their jobs. And yes, in that regard, I am a journalist, also I am a hero. So, uh, all those things put together, hopefully the treatment of this going forward will be something that will be less frustrating to the audience, and hopefully a more, uh, well-rounded, uh, more representational discussion.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, uh, in that, in that way, uhm, hopefully by framing it that way, you don't get mad at me for both being the information presenter and a side-taker. I can do both, do both jobs. Hopefully.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So yeaah, uhm, that, that will, that will be the, uh, the thing going forward. It's gonna be an experiment. The show is an ongoing experiment. I think that's the right way to think about it, so. Yeaah. Social experiment. For justice.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yep, Stanford-Prisitt experiment. Fascinating. Wook it up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, alright. Or don't. Don't let me tell you what to think. Uhm. Alright, now moving on I guess. Here's, here's the, here's the juicy headline that I've sussed out today. And that's that people like Fortnite.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, in the way, in the way YouTube operates that way, except it's with eyeballs. And that's what gets you the problem with conspiracy theory videos and info wars and all that stuff. Sorry if you love info wars, but if you do, you probably shouldn't be listening to this. Uh, go, go put some tinfoil on your head. Unless you have money.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] System of beliefs on an entertainment product. Absolutely. Well, we always preach. Perform your own opinion.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, Jetpacks, uh, actually so legit the reason we're talking about it today is I checked Google Trans yesterday to see, see where the veins of internet communication were and this was number one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, so there's a lot of math out there saying that Battle Royale is a big deal. Uh, sales numbers, player engagement, it's all fucking through the roof. PUBG sales numbers are absurd. Fortnite engagement. Sorry?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, but yeaah, I'm pretty sure Battle Royale's free to play. I dunno. That's my- Fuck man. That's my assumption. Ah, we just lost more viewers!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, it's uhm, I mean to identify why it's tough, what I find, not to disregard the question,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I, I think, I think it is that there was, there's a core concept there that's different and fun, and then, uhm, Fortnite refines upon it. Kind of in that Blizzard way. Uh, whereas there were MMOs before World of Warcraft, but World of Warcraft started a trend.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And once World of Warcraft hit, a bunch of companies spooled up MMOs.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In the same way League of Legends hit, and then a shitload of companies started up MOBAs, and it's funny that you guys talk about, uhm, Epic, because they had a MOBA.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Paragon that they just walked away from because the mobile wave is done. Thank God. And to that, to that point,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I am fascinated by, like, cultural waves. So Star Wars hits and then we get shit like Star Crash and Buck Rogers and all that. I mean, granted, Buck Rogers came way up before, but there's a reason it was remade. Krull, like, there was a whole slew of sci-fi, fantasy, flicks, uh, legend, I think. Your volcano and your Dante's Peak. Yeah, you drove over to the volcano.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, but, so the, the MOBA wave looks something like this, and, and this is, this is extensive Wikipedia diving. So in 2009, uh, you had League of Legends and Demigod, and then just kind of, they just hit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Year after year, 2010, Avalon Heroes, Heroes of New Earth, Monday Night Combat, and Realm of the Titans, 2011, Bloodline Champions, Rise of the Immortals, these are even just the big ones, 2012, Awesomenauts, Guardians of Middle-Earth, Super Monday Night Combat, and Warhammer Online, Wrath of the Heroes, 2013, Dota 2, and Panzar, 2014, Dawn Gate, Fates Forever, Prime World, Vainglory, and Smite,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] 2014 is basically like, so the 2009 wave hit, 2010, 2011, the math was kind of, like the numbers were coming out, holy shit this is a thing. A bunch of companies started up projects, those all hit in 2014, 2015.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] 2015, here's the Storm, Infinite Crisis, Sins of a Dark Age, and Strife. 2016, Warhammer 40k, Darkness's Nexus Arena. Mobile Legends. 2017, has Gigantic and Master X Master. And then Paragon and Battlerite. I mean, I've heard of Battlerite. Did you say the Lord of the Rings? Yeah, Metal Earth.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Doom hit, and it was a whole rash of very gritty metal first person shooters. Command and Conquer hit, whole rash of shitty point and click RTS games.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, and so it's easy to say, oh, these companies, they don't have any originality, like, why can't they make an interesting product? I...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I guess, I guess you could argue this is me being a bit contrarian, but I think it's okay, uh, for a company to make money. But I also think it's okay to enjoy it. Uhm, once Half-Life hit, and a bunch of companies made, like, kind of narrative linear scripted first person shooters, I really liked most of those. Uh, and like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I feel like that hit a fever pitch with the PS3, Xbox 360 generation.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We had like Gears of War, uh, Assassin's Creed to a degree. It had an open world element, but it had plenty of hallways to run through.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I kinda, I kinda liked at the time running through a hallway and having a bunch of fireworks go off around me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] As much as like Quake was vertical and it had jump pads and a lot of maps that were very up and down, uh, Fortnite is super vertical because you can build over people and drop on them and there's a lot of weapons that


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And to that point, that's a lot of the debate around jetpacks, about how they work, what they can do, because it does change a lot of the tactics that you use in the game. If you're used to like building over people and then dropping on them, or using height to your advantage, a jetpack can remove or fundamentally change how that works.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, some people have speculated that when it's engaged, maybe you can't shoot, so it makes you a big target, so it's a big trade off of vulnerability versus positioning. Uhm, if you can shoot, maybe it's just really hard to get or in a really vulnerable area. So yeaah, there's a lot of angles to it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sounds like a lot of angry teenagers.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Patient, kind people? Or just the manner of the game prevents people from getting really toxic and angry?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sounds like the worst. You can take the best seat for your mouth. With blue apron? Nice.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They are generally neither. Yeah, no neither. It's typically the most basic knowledge that I've come upon by cooking every night for the past two years.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This one is, get a good cutting board. Yes, that's right. The most basic of information. Uhm, I-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've recounted this a lot with like drippy shower heads or other dumb shit. I just had a really cheap cutting board and it was like really wobbly. And every time I would dice- every time I would dice or chop stuff it would basically start rotating and so I'd have to rotate with it as it was spinning around.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then I don't, I don't know why, and I wish I could evoke this state more, but at some point of using this crappy, damn chopping board, I just looked up and I was like, wait, I can just get another one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I did! I bought it off Amazon. It showed up. I got some cutting board oil. Cause apparently you got an oiler cutting board. I didn't know this. Uhm.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But yes, get a big, heavy, fuck-off cutting board. You'll never have to worry about this again. I've also, I've also wondered, there's gotta be like a little adhesive feet that you can stick onto a cutting board to keep it from sliding around.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, that's a good idea. I think the only, the only problem would be if there is a gap between the, the thing you lift out and the board itself, little food bits that get caught in there when you're just like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sliding it along. So you'd have to wash it out, but you'd have to wash it anyway. James, you're a master inventor, just like movement is masterful at reinventing the way that you eat. No.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, what did I say? Don't worry about it. Okay. Uh, so yea, Blu-A-Prin, uhm, I just realized I haven't described the service at all.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, they, they have a selection of recipes every week. You pick the ones you want off their website and then they'll ship it to you in a cardboard box with little ice packs. There's even a little separator to separate the meat from all the vegetables and other ingredients.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it ships with recipe cards with pictures and like step by step instructions. So essentially they ship you all of the ingredients from, from farmers, uh, ethically raised, what have you. Uh, you prepare the meal, uh, as provided. They even have videos if you're a novice cooker, unlike myself.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, and then you basically have a home-cooked meal. It portions out to about ten dollars a serving, but if you're really crafty, you're really crafty, go on that website, get the high calorie meals and then you can divide them into thirds or fourths, then you're paying six dollars or even five per serving. It's a pretty good way to save money, especially if you find yourself racking up uh, fast food bills? What?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Life hacks. Should work for attack of the show. I already used that, uh, I already used that tip in a cooking with Lawrence though, so I can't reuse it. That's a good tip though.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Solid tip. Uh, so yeaah, you can also get $30 off of your first order, uh, by going to blueapron.com slash soup. Once more, that's blueapron.com slash soup. S-O-U-P. Thank you Blue Apron for making my cooking better by the day. And uh, food is delicious. I had leftovers of Blue Apron for lunch just now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I wanna hear more about the surfboard. When you get into Nth level, you, I've known other amateur chefs that have an array of plastic cutting boards with different colors and then you can coordinate what kind of ingredients go on which board. So you never put vegetables on like a raw meat board or anything like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, I thought you were gonna make it up, like, I was about to suggest that Jimmy Fallon, half a monkey brain. That's not blind gossip, that's gossip about Jimmy Fallon.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We'll both have our independent segments, but they're double stacked. So, at least you used to have Snow Watch or Piercer Look.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay. Yeah, if you could bring up the chart, please. Uhm, so, uh, I, I, like most things that I do at this job that are successful, I'm lifting at wholesale from Elise.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, I'm, I didn't have time to make a bumper either. I really wanted to make a stupid video, but next week, cause, you know, that cyberpunk news never slows down. Welcome to Cyberwatch, where we, uh, we check in on Cyberpunk 2077 to see what's going on. Oh yeah, that's a game.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We work in a new universe, futuristic universe. We believe it's very appealing to players, not only RPG players, but this is a true RPG. Like Witcher, like Witcher 3, for mature audiences. It's handcrafted, detailed, and of course open world, with open-ended gameplay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So that's it for your cyberwatch this week. Now I know what the game is. Yeah, it's everything. It's mature. Yeah. It's an RPG.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, I have. Did, I just remember that Ice-T was like a, like a kangaroo man?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You remember that, right? It's post-apocalypse. I mean, I see- Hold on.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, he's in a wide array of very nerdy movies.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause Ice-T is a nerd. Yeah, that's pretty cool. Following him on Twitter is one of the best decisions I've ever made. Oh yeah, he's great. His final level Twitter game. Yeah, he's awesome.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, he was like a fucking anthropomorphized kangaroo man. Wait, that's iced tea? Not that one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's also a, like a, I forgot about this, Ten Girl is a wealth, it's like a time capsule. There was a whole beatnik resurgence in the mid-90s of like dudes who drank coffee and read beat poetry and had goatees and shitty glasses. Weird. Anyway, there's also a beatnik fucking, that guy, a beatnik kangaroo man. Anyway, Annihilation is better.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] 95. All the chart toppers in 95 were really wild. Cause it's right on that cutoff. Yeah, like Tank Girl. Johnny Mnemonic.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well it's right on the cutoff of like, computers meaningfully changing how movies are made, but it's also at like the height of cinema, cause it's like, you know movies earn more and more money, they get bigger and bigger budgets, so it's like the most money is being pumped into something that's


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Nearly 100% practical, and if something isn't practical they make it the entire showcase of the movie.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's right. For a while now. Uh, I also got distracted. What's the, um... Okay, real quick. No one's allowed to say anything after answering this and then we'll talk about annihilation.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do we each get one chance to answer? You do! There was a movie with Anthony Hopkins, Emilio Estevez.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And one other person I'm not remembering, but there's a scene where they're all in like a, a round silver room, and they have like fucking cyber helmets on, and they're like, digi, virtual reality fighting, and there's like lasers.