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[Assistant] Helix is offering 20% off all mattress orders and two free pillows for our listeners. Go to helixsleep.com and use code helixpartner20. This is their best offer yet and it won't last long. With Helix, better sleep starts now. Go to helixsleep.com and use code helixpartner20.


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[Assistant] That's why I change the sprocket. I'd get a big sprocket. Somebody on your shoulder. You could walk wheelies easier with it.


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[Assistant] On a bicycle, what'd you do? Try to jump to kick straight or something? Going too fast.


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[Assistant] I had a real serious- Going too fast around a corner, like a curve at the only concrete driveway at the time on our road. And when I went around that thing, my leg got caught where the wash, you know, people didn't really.


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[Assistant] Yeaah, we were the age being what we are.


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[Assistant] Where like everybody was aware that they were really dangerous and we knew we should probably have helmets and stuff, but we didn't have them. Like they're like, man, that's a really cool idea. But no.


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[Assistant] What kind of bag, like a burlap sack or something? Like a tote sack? Tote sack. Okay.


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[Assistant] Oh, she'll approve. I remember, I remember one time a man, a friend of mine was up on top of our house, we kids, you know, he said, I dare you to jump.


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[Assistant] I said, I ain't jumping off the house. Oh, we ain't played Superman. So we finally, I jumped. I jumped. It wasn't bad. So we played Superman.


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[Assistant] TV antenna, we'd shimmy up there and get on top, jump off again. Hold up. So then I said, I'm going to jump my bicycle off it. You know, cause I race motorcycles. Off the roof? Yeah. I got my bicycle up there.


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[Assistant] But the only problem is bicycles ain't got shop.


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[Assistant] I'll say this, you asked if I ever did that. One of my best friends growing up, like in junior high and all that, last name was Griffin.


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[Assistant] I've done the constatation. Did you? Them boys back in are shocked.


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[Assistant] So you did the Constitution because you're a great American.


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[Assistant] Look, that's why we're so excited that Hillsdale College is offering more than 40 free online courses in the most important and enduring subjects. You can learn about C.S. Lewis, stories in the book of Genesis,


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[Assistant] I do. Thank you. See, as a man who's taken it, there you go. In this 12 lecture course, you'll explore


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[Assistant] More great Americans who understand the Constitution and can defend the freedom of the American people against the encroachments of an increasingly large and unaccountable government.


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[Assistant] Do you feel better, like, knowing about all that now? A lot more of that stuff makes sense.


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[Assistant] Our founding fathers and how they had to think out of.


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[Assistant] Into the future. Outside the box. It was, I'm like, good, Gary. How did I think of that? Hey, there you go. Our founding fathers were awesome. That's what I'm talking about. So look, Galvin.


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[Assistant] There you go. Look, I don't know how you get a better glowing recommendation. Right now, go! From Johnny Goblin. Do it! You should be like him!


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[Assistant] Well yeaah, yeaah, so there you go. That's all you need. Look, all you have to do, go right now to hillsdale.edu slash duck to enroll. There's no cost and it's easy to get started. That's hillsdale.edu slash duck to register. Hillsdale.edu slash duck.


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[Assistant] Wear a life jacket. That's the only thing I wish I'd have done different. Put a life jacket on. Just because, I'm not at no current.


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[Assistant] Smashing. I saw you got em, you swapped out some hooks for some flavor.


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[Assistant] That is a great question. I mean, not a worm hook up.


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[Assistant] Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.


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[Assistant] Bass are on the beds at Caney. Yup. Site fishing.


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[Assistant] Tops are tough right now. They don't want to bite on them tops.


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[Assistant] They own them, but they don't want to buy, you gotta get the ones that's away from the top.


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[Assistant] Oh, it don't bother me. As long as somebody's catching. Look, here's how I look at this. Team Sport.


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[Assistant] We both gonna eat em. So I don't care who's got that hot hand. Just get em in that ice chest. I don't care how they get there. I'll sit right here and tie your cricket on for you. I don't care. They going in the same spot. Get em there. You're just hungry. I'm hungry. You've been hungry your whole life haven't you? Absolutely.


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[Assistant] I'm still waiting until I go buy crumble cookie and there's not 75 people out there.


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[Assistant] Lightly sweet taste. Then they're gonna tell you to go over to Walmart and get you something from a sugar free aisle. I'm sure.


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[Assistant] Now Dairy Queen can clip you for $7 for a cup of ice cream, don't nobody go back.


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[Assistant] Yeah, that would be, that would be great. What about a dollop of homemade vanilla ice cream?


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[Assistant] I went to the store the other day and ran into a bunch of little domestic terrorists. They called themselves Girl Scouts.


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[Assistant] Them dang tagalongs get me every time, man. Them little peanut butter morsels. I like them, y'all. Oh.


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[Assistant] They had stacks on the table, which I couldn't, it was full of cookies and stuff and I couldn't get that. But they would, they had a box of, uh, them pretzels, they were squares. It was a square pretzel.


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[Assistant] No, it's good. That peanut butter and that salt, it goes together.


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[Assistant] How was your man's retreat? Awesome. Good. Awesome. I can't tell you about it. River Road.


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[Assistant] They had a guy, I can't remember his name, he come from Dallas.


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[Assistant] Texas? No, uh, Waco, but he had a fancy guitar with Australian wood to trade from Australia somewhere. But he was good, real good.


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[Assistant] With Australian wood. Yea, some kind of tree in Australia.


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[Assistant] You need to man. Too much together time. Martin! You need to. I'm a loner. Everybody knows I'm a loner. You would love it. I'm sure I would.


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[Assistant] Yeah. I gotta see this. He was playing it. It had a different sound. I mean, it was, it was acoustic, but. But Australian? Well, yeah.


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[Assistant] Uh huh. Walnut. Is it kinda like we do with duck calls? We tell everybody it sounds different, but it really don't.


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[Assistant] Man, Dusty Bottoms of all people had a injury.


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[Assistant] And Godwin's the only one that can play it because he comes from a long line of trumpet players. I can't even do it. Bowen won't.


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[Assistant] Oh, are you talking about like crocodile dundee? Yeah. Yeah, okay. I didn't know what that was like. I was lost. It was like smoke.


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[Assistant] Yep, a little slow. Yep, got it. Hands down. I still ain't got it.


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[Assistant] What year was that? March 2015. Is that the Duck Commander Crew? That's the Duck Commander Crew.


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[Assistant] Where was he going out of? New Orleans. We didn't go out of New Orleans though, did we? Yea. Yea, we did. Huh? I thought we flew to Miami. No.


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[Assistant] Wow, Goblin, what a life. Look at Goblin being on brand wearing the Duck Commander shirt. My man, look. Well, I knew he was going to wear the visor. Wow.


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[Assistant] I still have never seen those britches. Must be vacation britches. I don't know. I mean, I was there too, which was fun.


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[Assistant] Well, there you go. It's got to be real tree britches. It's just a weird way the light is. Probably some old under armor shorts or something.


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[Assistant] That's what it is. Hush puppies. Hush puppies. And then I'll tell you which ones, the ones that's got the corn in it that's real squishy. Yea, that you dip in butter.


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[Assistant] Tartar sauce. That's what's on it. All the salves. Yeaah, all the salves.


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[Assistant] Well, I mean, I'm just saying you've got 24-7 access to a robot to bring you.


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[Assistant] After the rib eye. Of course he's going to have a big rib eye. That would be between rib eyes.


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[Assistant] Well, that's what they built beside it. Well, I just told them. Yea, that's what I'm saying. It ain't been long. That's the most insane thing I've ever seen. Look, you go get your cooking and then you go get your working out stuff right beside it. There you go. You can go over to the fishing department while you're there. Just look because there ain't nothing about it.


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[Assistant] I love it. Hey, before we go further, Jace, I just need you to know, this is number 300. Episode number 300. That is the first time Si has ever done the introduction to this. So either he wants you to talk, he's intimidated by you, you've got him nervous, or maybe he's just really excited.


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[Assistant] Yeah, we figured this was going to be like the battle of Sparta with you two face to face since he basically says, you're full of bull and you know.


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[Assistant] Well, I mean, you act like that's a problem. You used to shoot them off the porch at Phil and Kate without a suppressor with us in the duck call.


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[Assistant] Oh my goodness gracious. Well, Jason, it is good to have you. I do like that you carry on your dad's tradition of not giving up your hot holes. That's, that's pretty good.


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[Assistant] Made me, made me gay. As somebody who's raised in South Kansas, man, you can't, you can't go off that palette. People are weird. They're too far away from good food.


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[Assistant] Look, man, we could all stand to learn more. You need to learn more. I need to learn more. Sy needs to learn more. Everybody could. You know, it's way more valuable if you were to check out our folks over at Hillsdale College than Ben's watching the Kardashians or some other TV show. I mean,


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[Assistant] You can take time to actually learn where this country come from. Like you can learn. Maybe you need to brush up on it. Maybe you got young kids and you're like me and you're staring on the barrel of man, they're going to be asking questions in a few years.


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[Assistant] I don't want to seem not as smart as them. So, you know, I mean, it's just one of those. There you go. That's what I'm talking about. So, I mean, if you're looking for something to do to kill some time, it's the winter months.


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[Assistant] You know, gonna be caught inside doing a lot of things. Check out Hillsdale College. They've got college level courses for you absolutely free.


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[Assistant] And there's more than 40 to choose from, and they're on important and enduring subjects. You can learn about the works of C.S. Lewis, the stories in the book of Genesis, the meaning of the U.S. Constitution, the rise and fall of the Roman Republic, or the history of the ancient Christian church with Hillsdale College's online courses, all available for free. That's right, for free.


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[Assistant] We recommend that you sign up for the Constitution 101, the meaning and history of the U.S. Constitution because in that 12 lecture course, you'll explore the design and purpose of the Constitution, the challenge it faced during the Civil War and how it's been undermined for more than a century by progressivism and liberalism.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The course is self-paced so that you can start whenever and wherever so you can enroll now in Constitution 101. Our country needs more Americans who understand the Constitution and can defend the freedom of the American people against the encroachments of an increasingly large and unaccountable government


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Look, and if the constitution didn't for you, if you're like, man, that's not, there's 40 other options there. They even got one in chemistry, which to be honest, I probably need to brush back up on some chemistry because I didn't do so well in that one in my biology major. So, uh, my mind doesn't really think that way. So there you go.


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[Assistant] How to lead a good life by Aristotle. I mean, come on. Is that on there? Yeah, it's above that one.


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[Assistant] It's above, uh, Jane Austen. Look, there's tons of stuff out here. All you have to do is go right now to hillsdale.edu slash duck to enroll. There's no cost and it's easy to get started. That's hillsdale.edu slash duck to register hillsdale.edu slash duck.


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[Assistant] We're back rolling. You just have to remember your uncle is a story pirate. So it may take you the full 50 minutes to get your story.


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[Assistant] We got some desperate Saturday, we went and shot Jax in the ring. Ooh, really? That's desperate.


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[Assistant] Yeah, we know. But what you do is you camouflage them in amongst other ducks and you deliver them. You don't give somebody a load of jacks. That's mean.


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[Assistant] But you put you a couple of breasts in there amongst some gads and some teal and they're like, well that one was a little off.


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[Assistant] Problem is you can't give, you gotta keep a track of in your mind who you gave them to. That way you don't hit them again and then they start judging you. So, you know, or then they say no the next time.


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[Assistant] I gave some of them to the boys that put Christmas lights on my house, so.


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[Assistant] It's, then you gotta drag it downstairs the next year. Oh yea, November, Brittany will say, can you go up there and get them Christmas decorations? Just a couple of boxes. Why don't they just put it in more boxes? How do they, well no, how do they breed during the summertime? Cause there's always more than two. I'm like. See, you've been married how long? Almost 10 years. Yea.


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[Assistant] Well, that's gonna be like the seventh episode of anything you've been in that you've ever watched outside the first six season premieres.


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[Assistant] Planning on having twins? Nah, well, I mean. Did it cost twice as much? It did. No, actually it was a BOGO.


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[Assistant] I, that was the gynecologist term, not mine. Now the NICU, that was, that was legit. That was, uh, they ding you on those pretty good, but you know, if at the time we'd have had some meritorious ministries, it wouldn't have been quite so bad, but we didn't, we didn't know about it.


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[Assistant] Part of it, but it does happen and look, we're at the time of year where you may be thinking about, man, what if that happens in 2024 and going forward for my family? And if you do, if you are before you make a final decision, here's some reasons you should take a look at healthcare sharing with our friends at Samaritan Ministries.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] With Samaritan Ministries, you're a part of a Christian community. When you have a medical need, fellow members send money directly to you to help pay your medical bills. And you'll do the same for them all by praying for and encouraging one another. There's no network, so therefore you can choose whatever doctor, treatment, whatever you feel.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Works for your family. You have control again. And that's what Samaritan Ministries offers. And you can start today. Start healthcare sharing with Samaritan Ministry the day you complete your membership application or choose what month you'd like to start.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Totally up to you. It's not insurance, it's assurance that you're part of a healthcare sharing community. Samaritan Ministries is a biblical solution to healthcare where we can bear one another's burdens and so fulfill the law of Christ.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it could be more affordable than what you're paying now. So whether it's a broken bone, unexpected diagnosis or other medical emergency, you'll find comfort knowing you're connected to 80,000 Christian households across the nation who stand ready to care for one another spiritually and financially during time that it's needed most.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Become part of this community today at samaritanministries.org slash duck. That's samaritanministries.org slash duck. Join today.


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[Assistant] My favorite part is the only thing missing from this is Godwin. Cause if everybody really wanted to know what happened in the duck call room prior to duck down, this, this, this, this has been it.


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[Assistant] We would start about size C and 25 squirrels. He'd come in with some wild tail. Then there's a 15 pound one. He'd make a few reads. We'd build a few duck calls.


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[Assistant] I'll only tell you this, cause I love you.


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[Assistant] I ain't got none now. But Amy, Amy our fan sent us a bunch of box of snacks. I did, the Dr. Pretzels did get open yesterday cause I missed lunch.


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[Assistant] It all depends on situation, a lot of this stuff.


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[Assistant] But for ten grand, I'd eat a whole bag of them, bro. Man, that's your motive.


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[Assistant] That's a very Jace move because a lot of things can be solved for $200.


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[Assistant] And you gotta remember this though, Johnny D started here before the prerequisites of Duck Commander were a thing. So like, he didn't watch outlaw Josie Wells. He didn't watch Good, Bad, and Ugly. Once Upon a Time in the West, now Des is coming.


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[Assistant] That's what he told me when I started down there in Duck Car, he said, if you don't watch these, like five movies, he said, you're not going to understand a thing about what we talk about in here. And he was right. What are the five? Valdez is coming. Outlaw Josie Wells, Good Bad and the Ugly. Tombstone. Tombstone and Once Upon a Time in the West.


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[Assistant] There you go. $200. The whole movie is about $200.


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[Assistant] Thank you for coming by. Episode 300 is in the books, y'all. Appreciate the love and support thus far, but we'll see y'all next time right here in the Duck Call Room. We're out.


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[Assistant] Martin, them kids more expensive than you think, ain't they? Especially when they start knocking their heads out, losing teeth for no reason when they're not supposed to. Nick, you bill, it all gets


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[Assistant] Why, whatever he fills that out, previous employment, reason for departure, what would he put there? Terminated. Why?


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[Assistant] I've had to fire somebody via text message before because if you can't show up, how else are we supposed to fire them?


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[Assistant] He's stuck with me for a while, but I was on this podcast one day and I looked down at my phone and it was 2.30 in the afternoon.


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[Assistant] And the guy, all you work in two to six, like I said, you're just helping me close. Yeaah. And I got a text message that says, hey sorry, I just slept in.


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[Assistant] Do I, and then he said, do I still need to come into work today? And I was like, I ain't asking you to work cause I don't. Hey. For the goodness of yourself. Like I, yeah, you need to be there. I need help. Also.


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[Assistant] The last one, I've fired two people for just not being capable of showing up at the time that they said they would show up at.


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[Assistant] And it's like, I've even tried, like, to work with them. Like, okay, like, let's talk about growing up and responsibility and...


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[Assistant] And then he goes off. And then they just, they can't. And then the last dude, he like, he would make up all these stories, but it would be an hour after he was supposed to be there. And I was like,


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[Assistant] If this was two hours ago, I might believe any of this, but you're already late now, bro.


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[Assistant] I, and it's to the point where like, I kinda hope you don't show up because I don't have to, I can, I'd rather do it myself. I'd rather just have to work and do two people's job than deal with incompetence that may or may not show up.


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[Assistant] And that's, no, I'm, I'm all in on retired people. Cause they come in and they start talking like, these kids are morons. I'm like, hey man.


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[Assistant] They will be rich beyond their wildest imagination because whenever somebody does find you, they're going to be like, holy crap, this kid knows how to work. And he shows up and he's dependable and you don't have to beg him to do stuff and he stays off his dead gum cell phone.


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[Assistant] Hey, I'll say this though. I was in the back refrigerator of Super One stacking apples when I was his age, and that was too cold.


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[Assistant] But I tell you what, those two, three times I was late and Rick Cody called me at 6.30 in the morning, your boy would show up with one shoe on just trying to get out the door scared to death I was about to get fired, not, hey, I slept in.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You still need me there? No, I was hustling and it was 6am, not 2 in the afternoon.


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[Assistant] And we're back. I've broken 14 microphones when I get excited. I apologize if you heard a buzz in the last segment. That's my fault. They're turning me into side. They're talking about


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[Assistant] So this thing I had had four tires on it, but I had to be the prior. So it's all like behind Stone's house and where Willie's, all Willie's property used to be my uncle's property. And my dad, the dude was bush hogging and charged my uncle way too much. My dad was like, I got an idea.


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[Assistant] And my uncle paid me, and I got paid pretty good, but then I had to pay my dad a third for renting his tractor. That's it. I say that's a good- All summer long.


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[Assistant] Now, because of 20 years, they're giving a discount. We are too. It's a ridiculous discount.


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[Assistant] For some reason, then you gotta say that and see if she is too.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I guess. I'm confused on what this animal is.


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[Assistant] So is your thing Red Pandas, just cause I can't really leave there yet, is it like size thing with Black Panthers? No, those exist. Except Red Pandas exist.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I don't know. We, we invited, uh, Oliver Anthony on the show. Have we heard back from Oliver? A lot of people tagged him and stuff and, uh, he went and went on Joe Rogan instead.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was trying to find my podcast, which Joe Rogan's not on that anymore. He's exclusive somewhere, huh? Spotify, I think. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We are the number one episode under leisure right now.


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[Assistant] We're still the number three leisure podcast, right behind something called House Rules, I don't know what that means, and one of Hunter's favorite podcasts about Dungeons and Dragons.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I got some decent ones. He's got some good ones. Oh, here's reviews for our podcast.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Bunch of people went and very recent- Oh, cause we kept telling people to-


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[Assistant] Run your mouth. Well, I just went and I'm looking out. Hey, Nick R. Nick R says love listening, work in the city these days and your conversations take me back home. Thank you for putting this content out. Simple, fun conversation. Give me a laugh. Keep it up boys.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, is it nice? Well, I don't care. Uhm, moose straight. Moose straight? Moose straight, uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Left this one. The title is Replace Martin. Two stars. That's fine. This podcast truly has no substance. It's just the same fictitious sigh stories repeated over and over. Cold Spring cue ball is spot on about Martin. He's hard to listen to and a phony. Who's Cold Spring cue ball?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Trying to figure out what I'm- Positive feedback from Kuskimo.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Choose a topic, you're rambling. We have admitted that since episode one.


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[Assistant] And I don't care to hear about a 15 minute write-in for you guys to offer advice. Really? Well, here's some advice, cous camo. Go get some friends and go outside and stop listening to people you don't even like. You're wasting your own time, dummy. We told you we ramble. Here's your life advice, man. Don't do something that you know you're not going to like. I'll go for 15 minutes on you.


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[Assistant] That's what we all came for. This is their problem with you, Martin. You act like you're the smartest guy in the room is what Cold Spring cue ball said. Uh, friend, Martin is the smartest guy in the room. I'm not.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This was not even playing. All these others were just telling us how great we are. I like the mean ones.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Light and fun, great podcasts. See? Faith building Christian values, Black Panther love, greatest podcast ever, best part of their week. Perfect.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, here's what they want us to do. Who sent this in first off? This is the most incredible thing I've seen today and I lost it. I'm going to figure out who sent it in. But a dude jumped on a giraffe at the zoo. Hey, this one, hey, he climbed the fence.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wait, oh, there you go. Hey, that dude went bodacious on that one. Oh, that was from Joel, by the way. Thank you, Joel. Joel sent that in.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] California, Yucupa, Yucupa, Yucupa, California. Why not?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Subject on question about sleeping in bed with my wife.


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[Assistant] Dun, dun. It's not that kind of podcast, but we're going to answer it anyway. He's been married to his wonderful wife Allison for about two months, and it's amazing. They both love the Lord. They're trying to be the best version of themselves for each other.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The question is about sharing the bed. Basically, 5'9", 220. Tosses and turns a lot, moves a lot. Sometimes gets bad gas.


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[Assistant] So about him or? Him, him, him, him. We're on him right now. We're still on him. And my wife does not like it. I try to be quiet and gentle, but we have a queen size bed, so it's hard not to move around when it feels like I have about just another this much space to sleep.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] She gets mad, cause I sound like a bear rustling in the woods at night, and I should be more gentle. What's your best advice? Guys, I know Martin's a bigger dude, so maybe he could give me some pointers. You're only 5'9", 220, I got you by a lot.


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[Assistant] How bad is the gas though? I mean, there's, there's, I mean, I, I know, I know a guy, right? It's not, like, you're gag worthy, like, don't even come around me, but like, all gas stinks, even my wife's. She gonna be mad at me, good thing she don't listen.


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[Assistant] That was a great one. Look, hey, in the Bible, I'm just going to go with something real quick here. James 5 16 says, it's about confessing your sins to one another that you may be healed, but it does say the prayer of a righteous person has great power and is effective. I had a guy come up to me today at work. His name's Steve. He listens. He's going, he's got cancer just diagnosed. Uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A lot going on there. Um, but he said he's believing that no matter what, the Lord can heal them just like that or the doctors can heal them. So.


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[Assistant] He's just asked me to pray for him. So I said, hold on, let me write your name down. So I'm just going to ask for all of our fans. My man's name is Steve. He's from Kentucky. Uh, he's just passing through town, but if y'all could throw out a prayer for him and his cancer, that would be awesome. Um, and I know Steve would greatly appreciate it.


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[Assistant] And that's all I got. And the verse is, prayer of a righteous person is great power. So remember that. More powerful than you can even imagine.


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[Assistant] I ball it. It is balling. And the microwave. So you ball it? That's a sad, okay. And the microwave.


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[Assistant] My water went to bowl, didn't realize. I'm pouring the water in, I'm talking to the guy and literally I had the thought


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[Assistant] Can you pour boiling water in something like this? And as soon as the thought went through my brain, it exploded and all of my tea went onto my thighs and my lower leg, which was boiling water. Let me tell you something.


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[Assistant] Don't ever do that. We probably still got some pictures. Don't ever do that.


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[Assistant] And I told the doctor, I said, well, I got to play in the golf tournament next week. And he said, no. No, you ain't gonna make that. I said, oh yeah, yeah, I'll be, I'll be, I will be your patient. That will be it now. That wasn't even a chance. So I had to wear a little shorty shorts for two months and scrape it all off. I had to wear a Christian.


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[Assistant] Apparently all my kids laugh at me and say my shorts are too long. You on that basketball shorts? No, I mean every pair of shorts I buy is too long, but I'm getting them from a store, I don't know, you know.


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[Assistant] Because Cory and I are the same height, but her legs are like nine inch, her hip is nine inches above mine. So my, yeah. So she got a short torso. I'm possibly deformed. I'm not sure, but my legs are short.


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[Assistant] Do I get rid of all my shorts that are longer to the knees or pass, or do I go with the new 2021? What is that? I don't even know what year.


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[Assistant] Not only did he, like, I thought we had a deal, like mice come out when they, you see them and they run off. Oh, this guy's like.


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[Assistant] What are you looking at? I dare you. I dare you. No, you're just looking at me like, and I'm looking at him, I'm like, really?


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[Assistant] And he ate, so he scurries under the thing and I'm like, I'm fixing to get that. He comes back out.


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[Assistant] I'm going to buy a, uh, I'm going to get me a pet chicken snake for my living room so that it'll eat the mic. There you go. That'll go over. That's what I do.


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[Assistant] Uh, well, technically I threw it in the vicinity. Um, so this was about year two of marriage.


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[Assistant] So I was in the yard doing some yard work and I come across a little


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[Assistant] So I just go in there and we have like the curtain, you know, that hangs. And so I just threw it over the top.


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[Assistant] And then scurried out and I mean it was the funniest.


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[Assistant] The noises, all the shower curtain gets ripped off.


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[Assistant] She was not happy. So you didn't only throw it on her.


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[Assistant] Well, we used to have a box that, uh, that covered up the, uh, cutoff valve.


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[Assistant] And so every time you open this thing, there was a black widow spider. I mean. I don't want them as a pet. Money.


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[Assistant] And so I was telling this older guy about this spotter.


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[Assistant] And I said, I'm going to tell you, I'm going to open this up and there's going to be a black with a spider. I don't care how many I killed, they always came back. So I opened it up and there was no spider. And I thought, dad, again, there's always a spider. And I kid y'all not, when I looked down, I saw her.


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[Assistant] But it disappeared. I saw it go in, inside the pants leg. And then you, you, you shed said that I shed it fast. Cause I thought, I mean.


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[Assistant] I think my favorite snake was when Phil chopped the copperhead. So he took a shove when he hit a copperhead. There's probably four inches of snake. Then he throws it at the dog. Don't ask me why. And the dog.


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[Assistant] When it moves about six inches after you've done it, yeaah, you got worms. So it was swimming? Yeaah. Oh.


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[Assistant] Yeah, yeah, then I had the roach, yeah, I had a roach crawl in my ear, uh, hit my, uh, eardrum. That's not fun. And didn't your dad, like, pour syrup in your ears?


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[Assistant] I don't, I can't see anything. All I know is my head feels like it's fixing to explode. And so dad's like, mom's like.


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[Assistant] Well, it's the cure-all of cure-alls. Campho Phonete.


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[Assistant] Yup. He just pours it in my ear. Yup. And what happened was everything just got, it didn't like make the pain go away exactly, but it, like everything just got slower.


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[Assistant] And so I'm like, it still hurts. And so finally Phil says, take him to the hospital. I don't know what's wrong with him. So we go up there and the dude looks in my ear and he goes, um, it's a giant ball of wax.


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[Assistant] And I'm like, oh, that's embarrassing. But I'm like, why does this hurt so, why would wax hurt that bad? And then he said, wait a minute, uh, it's got hair. And I'm like, huh?


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[Assistant] He said, it's got wings. And when he said it's got wings, I'm like, hang on. And he goes, it's alive. And so now we know something is living in my ear. We went from wax to hairball to flying hairball. He was just seeing this blob.


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[Assistant] You've never felt pressure. I mean, it, it feels like your head's fixing to explode. So I'm screaming and then it just went pop and he pops that thing out.


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[Assistant] Yeah, and then he, but for an hour he had to dig out legs and wings and I, I mean whatever else fell off in my ear. From the struggle. Cause I left the door open.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When he poured the camphor finique in my ear, it kind of like drowned him a little bit.


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[Assistant] I'm totally normal. Come on man. Does being eccentric not make you normal? You different.


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[Assistant] I think that's where we're at. I think if we were, you wouldn't have a microphone. We've decided none of this foursome is normal.


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[Assistant] Little inside, I know. Are you a renaissance murder or a jack-of-all-trades?


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[Assistant] So at some point though, you're pulling out of your body and you're looking at yourself.


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[Assistant] Normal. But inside your, when your, when your brain is inside yourself, you feel like you are normal. I think so. Yeah. I think that, I think.


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[Assistant] You know why I wore the flame boots? I know this story.


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[Assistant] So, I was in, I was at the Santa Monica Pier, and


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[Assistant] I'm walking by these, it was like a shoe store, but, and I, and I just picked up the boot. All right.


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[Assistant] And I'm looking and goes, Hey, I can give you a good deal. And then I'm like, shoot, why did I pick it out? You know, I'm like, I don't need a sales pitch. And I'm like, no, no, I'm just looking. I'm just looking.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And he said, that's my, he said, those are my Cinderella's my last pair. And I said, yeah, cool. You know, and I said, I'm not interested. And then he looks at me and he goes, you put those boots on, you'll be on fire. Just like that. And I thought, Ooh.


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[Assistant] And so I looked at Cory and she said, you will never wear those. If you buy them, you're never going to wear them.


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[Assistant] And I wore them. Totally normal thing to do. 14,000 times.


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[Assistant] You wore them everyday. Just to prove her wrong because she said I would never wear them. Then I wore them.


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[Assistant] Well, once I started, like, people would give them to me and there were different versions. But there were three different versions of that. But the OG one was Harley Davidson, right? Yea, the originals are Harley Davidson. Yea, that's what I thought.


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[Assistant] Now you started with medium. Medium plus is a person who wants to wear a medium shirt, but can't quite fit in that. So they need a little extra.


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[Assistant] Everything you're saying is the way you can cook something. You're saying I don't want it rare. That's the word that's associated with that. You don't want it well done.


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[Assistant] Well that's what I did. You're just using the wrong word. No. Plus means plus what?


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[Assistant] It's just a bat, which I'm not, I mean, you're not a worst method.


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[Assistant] Well if you told me that, if you told me that and I were cooking it, I still would have to go the first thing you said, which is medium.


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[Assistant] So I know that it's not raw, that would be rare.


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[Assistant] So still the medium, you're, you're not giving enough credit to the word when you say medium, a chef. No, okay. No worry.


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[Assistant] I just wouldn't know what that plus what like me. I that that makes no sense to me because you could put whatever word you say medium fair medium.


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[Assistant] Well, perhaps you're just been damaged by somebody in the past that cook, you know, and you, you had that one experience and now you're trying to say everybody.


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[Assistant] Technically that is medium well. I think you're feeling insecure because you don't want to say well. You like a steak medium well, that's what you like. But you don't like that you are that guy, but you're that guy.


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[Assistant] We can always, I think, get to where he wants. I'd probably order a little bit more cause you can still get it there. Cause once you've gone to the past, you can't go back.


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[Assistant] Yeah, that's not, I think that's just, everybody's trying to use that word. That's a...


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[Assistant] That's a platform. That's a network. Somebody like Si goes, that's a cool word. I'm going to work that in somewhere I go, you know? And so then he orders it. It's like, that's not even a word, dude.


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[Assistant] You can keep saying that as long as you say I'm gonna like, tell you exactly what color.


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[Assistant] So, don't be jealous, mine's way better. My former right hand man walked in with this dude and said he had no idea that that's what you were doing. That's what I did.


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[Assistant] Cause I remember when you came out of the house before I hired you 10 years ago.


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[Assistant] Now when he comes over, he's, you know, he's got like a short little haircut and no beard. And then. Did he have pants on? Yeah.


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[Assistant] No, you didn't have that massive thing that had to grow. So then everything grew out and, and then.


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[Assistant] When you moved on to your next profession, you shorned everything, you looked all clean.


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[Assistant] Now I look up and you've got a ginormous mullet. So.


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[Assistant] But I am living out what I wanted to do when I was 14 and my mom wouldn't, which is weird. Now think back.


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[Assistant] It's not that she wouldn't let me have a, nobody cared what your hair, she wouldn't take me to get it cut. Just do it yourself. Well, we didn't have the resources. You grew up with your own bedroom, with your own furniture and all that. We grew up- You didn't have scissors? In a shack with no, nothing sharp to cut our own hair with.


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[Assistant] Every knife they had. It wasn't until I met a friend in school who could cut hair that I started getting that. But, but I didn't have the, I like, I wanted this full big thing. And back when it was really hot, like.


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[Assistant] It was like 89. Back when Billy Ray was Billy Ray. Billy Ray and I did get.


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[Assistant] That I look like Billy Ray. In fact, I went to his hometown somewhere in Kentucky and they were like, you gotta go this Applebee's cause they're going to think it's him. But I was, uh.


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[Assistant] I had a lot of people think, well we can't just brush over this. Applebee's? Billy Ray Cyrus? That's where apparently when he go, it's somewhere north east Kentucky, I don't know somebody I'm sure.


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[Assistant] I mean, wow, not a big one. Not a full grown one.


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[Assistant] I mean, she still loves you, you know. Yeah, but she said, and your mullet. So I don't think she meant that she loves your mullet. So here's my question for you. If she doesn't like it, do you cut it off and please her?


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[Assistant] My hair didn't grow. But I'll say this, when I was like 14, my hair did not grow as good as it grows now. Like, it wasn't as full.


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[Assistant] I got a little hair, the more mature I got, the more, cause my mullet in like my senior picture was a mullet, but everything grew to the right. So it was like nice mullet on the right, zero on the left. Kinda like size beard.


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[Assistant] So I have to use them. That's why I do it. Oh. Because I had to lace it. I didn't know you had such wacky eyes. I mean I've looked into them before and they didn't seem wacky.


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[Assistant] So, so, are your eyes, cause you're a young man.


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[Assistant] My sister had got it in high school cause our eyes were so bad and she walked outside and she thought trees were like when you draw them, just the big blob on top of the stone. Oh yeah. And she's never seen the individual limbs and leaves. My sister had never seen that. I was the same way. Yeah. And like she saw it walking out the door.


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[Assistant] I looked up, so I had a facelift on Google. What did it say? It says Martha Stewart addresses critics who say she has had plastic surgery.


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[Assistant] I don't, there's a, you can say what you want about many humans, but you can't say things about the pioneer woman. She's off limits.


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[Assistant] No, this is my favorite song. It's about when, uh, Sy forgot Christine's birthday.


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[Assistant] And it's right there on Spotify, which I'm always on every time I'm in my truck, so I don't want to admit how much I've listened to this.


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[Assistant] What are you looking up? Top chart? We're number two in leisure and I'm looking at all the other ones and leisure is a weird podcast. What are you looking?


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[Assistant] Top chart. The top chart. The top chart. Of podcasts. We're number


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[Assistant] In our category. No, it's just on the podcast.


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[Assistant] Go to podcasts, go to top charts, and you click on leisure. Sometimes we're number one, today we're number two. Those Dungeons and Dragons, those, no offense, Hunter Nerds, are really- People love dragons. Dragons are cool. Oh no, they love them. The rest of them are like simple farmhouse life.


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[Assistant] How do you listen to a podcast about organizing called the Clutterbug? Clutterbug? How do you listen to somebody organize their home?


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[Assistant] There's the frugal friends. Now I like that.


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[Assistant] You don't think that's a brilliant idea? Just a body wash that's also deodorant.


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[Assistant] We discussed this in link on the last episode, I'm sure you listened. Uhm, but yeaah, the leisure category is either all like,


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[Assistant] Dragons or wolves or board games or I'm gonna call them 27 year old women. Well that's why they won. Stay at home moms.


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[Assistant] Hey, there's one right there. That's a picture. He said, such as the Black Panther.


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[Assistant] Unexpected medical bills are the pits.


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[Assistant] My favorite extinct animal is the six foot or eight foot sloths that used to roam the earth.


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[Assistant] Nottingham Forest, also a rainforest.


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[Assistant] The fifty extinct animals. Number one's a dodo. That's a dodo. And number two's a zebra.


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[Assistant] It's actually, it looks like a zebra, apparently it's not a zebra, it's something else. Can you ride a zebra? You can 100% ride a zebra. Ooh, a wagga.


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[Assistant] Hi, there's a duck. There's a duck. A cinch and crank. Have you ever killed one, Martin?


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[Assistant] That, that snake with legs. One day. Oh yeah, now he's just a regular.


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[Assistant] I want Sy to watch children's movies and report back.


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[Assistant] I got, I, I, I snuck out of that. I still don't know how. Both of them? Never went on a Duck Commander. Oh, you didn't go on it? That's wild.


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[Assistant] You gotta, when you got a bed that is that good? You got a mattress that's soft?


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[Assistant] Martin, when I took the Helix Sleep Quiz, it asked me my height, my weight, how I sleep, what I like with a soft firm back.


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[Assistant] And I got that moonlight lux, baby. Moonlight. And it's perfect. I love it.


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[Assistant] Not both, and that's why the mattress needs to be tailor made.


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[Assistant] That mac and cheese pizzas at CeCe's. So you thought the duck commander cruises were, I didn't get to go because I made up excuses and got out of it.


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[Assistant] Yeah, most of it's not underwater. That's an iceberg. No, not a cruise ship. That's a ship. No, I'm pulling it up. I don't have a.


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[Assistant] How much of a cruise ship is underwater? Half of it. What does it say? Around 10% of a cruise ship is below water. Is that it? That doesn't feel like enough. Now I'm nervous.


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[Assistant] I for sure have it. I have a picture of it somewhere. Praise be.


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[Assistant] This computer thing's got me all out of whack. Hunter, just go ahead and show this to the people and just let them all know that it belongs to me and I could break it out at any moment.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Also, it will not belong to me if somebody offers me probably like a hundred bucks.


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[Assistant] Hey, hold on. Let's get, come on. Roll. We're not reading emails. Let me see the page. We're gonna see. So you're, we went to break and we're all looking at a picture of a Duck Commander Speedo and Martin's saying...


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[Assistant] Martin said 50 bucks for me to wear it for an episode. Do I have to wear it a whole episode?


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[Assistant] If there were, I would do, I would take an ice bath in that Speedo. Uh oh.


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[Assistant] On YouTube, if you raise money for something. How about the PsyPoker phone?


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[Assistant] Yeah, no, not doing that. For a thousand bucks, I would go, I would, I will, for myself, I'll, I will jump in to an ice bath wearing just that Speedo. For a grand? On YouTube. For a grand.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's in too. Did you stay a full minute? I made it 45 seconds, but.


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[Assistant] Full minute. I'll do that in the speedo. Y'all figure out the money.


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[Assistant] What an interesting podcast.


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[Assistant] Cody, what? No, Tanner from Cody, Wyoming. How about that?


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[Assistant] Uh, he had, there was a lot of first names there. Wyoming's not one of them, but Tanner and Cody are.


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[Assistant] I just became a young father, 22 years old, and needing some direction on how to raise my son right in today's world.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've recently lost faith in the religion I was born into, but my faith in God has remained and gotten stronger. I was just wondering if you thought being part of a religion is necessary for raising my son to have faith in God or if I need to go myself back into a church proof. Any and all answers criticism are welcome. I think you got something mixed up, bro.


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[Assistant] He's lost faith in the church he grew up in.


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[Assistant] So here's, here's my, the way he says it, or if I need to sit myself back into a church pew, I think he's like, I don't like church, but I love Jesus. And everybody probably gets there at some point because the church is full of imperfect people.


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[Assistant] Jesus is the only perfect person. Even Peter and Paul would have upset you at something.


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[Assistant] If I didn't have people like Martin in my life, and you know, Martin might need some advice from me on some things, because I had kids


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[Assistant] Proverbs three five, trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding and all your ways submit to him and he will make your path straight. If you're confused about what you need to do, open the Bible. God's already talked to you and told you it's all right there. Try reading. You'll figure it out.


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[Assistant] Well, I told Martin I'm normally prepared with questions and everything, but I have no idea what we're doing.


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[Assistant] Well, I love it up here. It's so fun. And I think it's so fun because I did spend like my whole life growing up here with all these same people. And I love everybody. It's so fun getting to work with everybody now.


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[Assistant] So Thursday is my last day of college. I graduate on Thursday.


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[Assistant] I go to class tomorrow, I go to class on Thursday, and I'm graduated.


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[Assistant] Uhm, I'm actually at tech right now. I didn't know that.


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[Assistant] That's pretty much what it is. The school I go to online, they don't have an art education degree, so I had to kind of make it.


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[Assistant] And I think my mom always says if anything in college it teaches you to finish what you started which is the most important aspect is like learning how to like be disciplined, get your work done and finish what you start and like I think that that is


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Which I will say I did high school online and I think that that's the reason I succeeded in college is because doing high school online taught me like time management. My mom wasn't looking over my work every single day while I was doing my homework. Like I had to do my homework on my own time and do it at my own pace and so.


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[Assistant] Online school changed so much after COVID because I was in online school way before COVID and no one else was in online school and it was just like, you know, write your papers, submit your work. Online school happened, I mean, COVID happened and everyone was like doing Zoom calls. I was like, what are y'all doing Zoom calls for? I've never done a Zoom call before. We don't have to do Zoom calls in online school.


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[Assistant] I don't have that, so my electives were theology one, theology two, uhm.


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[Assistant] You know, I have a lot to do to apply because you have to get a whole portfolio together, but.


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[Assistant] Well, this one's just, this is art. Oh, okay. Like masters of fine art. So I have to submit like 20 art pieces of artwork.


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[Assistant] I don't know if I've seen it only make anything worse than Will. My mom is not bad, but she is a burner. She burns everything she cooks. She just forgets. And then she like forgets things, she forgets to put the eggs in the mix, she forgets to put things in the mix, and that's where her problem is. It's not that she's actually like bad, she just


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Doing something, I can't remember, I was making toast or something in the oven and I burnt it and I was like, dad, I burnt the toast. He said, what did you do? I said, I put it on broil and I walked away for two seconds. He said, and there's your problem. You walk away. He's like, that's what your mom does. You never walk away on broil.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Actually, y'all know Cody, the builder.


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[Assistant] So he was working on our house one day recently and I put toast in the um, broil and he knocked on the door and I went to the door and started talking to him and I totally forgot about the toast and I was like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh my gosh! And I ran inside and I came out with flaming toast, but he threw it out on the ground and Cody was like, are you okay? I was like, yep, I'm good. Ignore that.


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[Assistant] I normally, like for holidays, I always make this bread. You've had it before, I think last year. I made this bread. It's like, I roll it out, the dough, and then I stuff it with cheese and herbs and all kinds of stuff and roll it up like a cinnamon roll.


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[Assistant] As an example, like, she's very, like she's the best example to look up to. So yeaah.


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[Assistant] It actually scares me now because when I sleep by myself at the house when Jacob's out of town, sometimes he'll come in like at two in the morning. I'll never know. He came in, gets in the bed.


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[Assistant] Is loud. Turn the lights on. I'll never know. It scares me. I'm like, what if it was someone else?


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[Assistant] Or, or turn the fan on, take off the covers, I'll be up in a second. I hate cold.


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[Assistant] I drive everyone else crazy now because I have the alarm, the most annoying alarm that's like urr, urr, and it can go off for like seven or eight minutes and I will not hear it. And it like, I'll wake up and it'll be seven oh eight and I'll be like, hmm, my alarm was set for seven, but I just now woke up and my alarm's still been going off for eight minutes.


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[Assistant] When I was a kid, I used to like be a super like crazy sleeper. I would wake up like another room or all this kind of stuff. And now.


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[Assistant] No, I had to have my tonsils taken out because I snored so bad. My mom used to say that she wouldn't know if it was my dad or me snoring in the night because I snored so loud when I was little. I had to have my tonsils out and it didn't help. I still snore horribly.


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[Assistant] When I was younger, which I have always had acid reflux, my mom wouldn't let me drink Dr. Pepper. So unless it was, she was always like, unless it's a birthday party, you can have Dr. Pepper or something like that. So Martin didn't know the rules. So Martin always got me Dr. Pepper and then I had to ask for it for Christmas because I didn't get to have Dr. Pepper.


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[Assistant] Well, he's- he's very similar to my dad in that he changes his hair and is-


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[Assistant] And like last year he had hair longer than mine. And now he has short hair. He changes his hair all the time.


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[Assistant] I know like three or four months before our wedding, he shaved his head completely. And my mom was like,


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[Assistant] No, for my mom's birthday party and we were dressing up like them when they were young, we found a picture of my dad from back in the day.


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[Assistant] I told dad, I was like, I said, Jacob saw that picture of you with a mohawk. Dad was like, I never had a mohawk before. I was like, I was like, well, I saw a picture and he was like, no, I never had a mohawk. And I said, oh, okay, well, maybe it wasn't a mohawk. Maybe it was just like short haircut. And I pulled the picture up and he goes, nope, that's a mohawk. Don't remember that.


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[Assistant] You gotta look about him. That's a topic conversation.


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[Assistant] All this stuff, like, he'll have a Walmart bag in the airport. And I'm like, why do you have a Walmart sack in the airport? And it's got like, all these random things that he needs. He has three different drinks, two Yetis and then a coffee Yeti.


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[Assistant] This is what he does though. He'll go to all of the stores on- with drinks and he'll wipe out all the tea, the iced tea, unsweet tea, wipes them all out into a bag, buys them all, goes to the next one, wipes them all out. He tries to buy every single unsweet tea in the airport for the rest of his trip.


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[Assistant] He definitely gets some tendencies from M.O.K. Whoa!


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[Assistant] Yeaah, I would say just like, don't feel pressured to go to college.


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[Assistant] If you really don't think you're mature enough or ready for it, like wait until you know you're ready. Don't just go straight from high school to college just because that's what everyone else does. Give it time and figure out what's best for you and then know when you're ready.


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[Assistant] I think that my dad taught me like how to work hard and like he would never, we were never allowed to say the word bored. Like we couldn't say we were bored ever. And if we said we were bored, then he would give us a whole list of things to do because we weren't ever supposed to be bored. There's always something more to do and there's always things to work on. So I think that's probably what he taught me just like.


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[Assistant] To always work hard and not like sit around and be lazy, but work.


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[Assistant] I got a question. Did you hear about Willie Nelson getting run over by that car? No, I hadn't heard that. He's playing on the road again.


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[Assistant] Well, right there, right there. Well here's a shot.


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[Assistant] He said them boys over there, they just over there sitting there eating ice cream while we working over here.


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[Assistant] Okay, so it's, ah, quit cheating my squirrels.


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[Assistant] As woman said, would you sign my foot? I said yeaah. So she took it off and gave it to me.


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[Assistant] Shoot. Shootin' all, oh my bachelor party. That cannon and yeaah, shootin' them guns. Them guns was in the Patriot. That old boy.


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[Assistant] That was, I could put him down again. That was. You ate a dozen donuts. That was 50 pounds ago.


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[Assistant] I'll never look at a picture to show the thing.


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[Assistant] Get up, just wake up when you wake up, don't set no alarm clock, drink your coffee, eat your breakfast, pack your sandwich, and an apple. And a radio, take a radio.


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[Assistant] No, you don't need. Yeah, you need your radio and go get on their stand about 10 30. That's right. Turn it on or say you won't have to be there till about 11 o'clock. Here comes a book. Take him to the camp.


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[Assistant] Okay. That's what we figured. So there you go. There's how you kill a buck. Right now. I love that idea. Because the rut has started. They are chasing like crazy.


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[Assistant] Why? And I ain't at the deer camp. That's a PSA for ya'll.


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[Assistant] He looked back in the mirror and it wasn't playing. That possum's pretty gushy.


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[Assistant] He'll be asleep. I'd say about- Good when they end up.


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[Assistant] You gotta, you gotta have clarification on it. Okay. It's from the perspective whose perspective you're taking.


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[Assistant] Hey, my wife had never ate a taco in her life.


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[Assistant] Hey, hey, look, I'm just telling you my perspective. Okay. That was the funny. Hey, she said I put a $16 cheap ring on the fair. I put a cigar bag on the finger when I married her.


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[Assistant] Hey, when you throw dirt my face, if you could ask me beyond the grave, I will still stick to it saying, Hey, no.


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[Assistant] I reached in my pocket, took a cigar out, took the band off of it, and slid it on a finger.


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[Assistant] Now I know how you handle being Willie's assistant.


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[Assistant] I feel like that's wisdom. You gotta understand. Okay. I remember when I hit rock bottom.


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[Assistant] Before I got my life straightened out, you wouldn't have met, you wouldn't have liked me then. Okay.


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[Assistant] Well, no, no, that's why I'm glad I wasn't younger. Amen. When I met you. Amen. We would have gotten him serious trouble. He made it. Yeah. Neither one of us would probably be and stayed in trouble. Okay. But anyway, but I, cause I, you know, everything.


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[Assistant] Life changing moment, like. No, no. Ever since then, alright, life is too short, okay, to go through all that crap.


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[Assistant] Oh no, we had a lot of fun and, and you know, cause you gotta realize that it's a boring joke.


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[Assistant] I shot him in the head so she couldn't eat the brains.


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[Assistant] That was the highlight of the day. Every time we sit down for the meal.


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[Assistant] Yeah. Yeah. He used to be a professional and look at on the bag. It says sweet tea, but it's not. Yeah.


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[Assistant] Well, hey, and I switched to it for one reason. Rag or tea, any other tea that I've ever done.


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[Assistant] Y'all. Yeah, I've actually, I might add word to get in it. They send it to me. Yeah, I'm by sending it to me and then I've.


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[Assistant] Here's the deal, me and Willie Robertson went in the Duck Dynasty today, got a tea offer and we made a bad decision. Okay, we chose the wrong tea company.


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[Assistant] Yeah. I was just excited. Next time it's going to cost you. Oh no. Cause we had made some good tea and the best one was pink flavored.


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[Assistant] You get, when you drank this tea, you would get everything just like you had walked out in a Georgia peach farm and pulled a big ripe peach off a tree and ate it. The only thing you wouldn't have with our tea, okay, was the juice that run down your beard. Well, you could just drink it fast.


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[Assistant] With limin' it. My wife drinks hot tea at night. But I drink ice cold.


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[Assistant] You would have to talk to Willie and Corey Robertson to get to.


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[Assistant] I think the wildest one Phil had is a pregnant woman wanting him to sign her belly.


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[Assistant] That's a good idea. I didn't know there was a battle here.


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[Assistant] My favorite episode was when me and Willie were handcuffed together.


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[Assistant] We're going to run out of stuff and run out of quick hold up.


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[Assistant] Okay, well good night. Four hours a day. What? Yeah. Oh yeah. Look, I'll take two or three hours nap.


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[Assistant] Did you say he's probably listened to all of them at least three times?


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[Assistant] Too many years, boys. Boom. So let me tell you something. Me and Cy were on the Unashamed podcast, which was awesome. I've never been down there to the lair because I've never had a reason to go because I haven't been hunting with them since I was 19. You're not allowed to go hunting.


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[Assistant] You ain't been by the liar. Hey, even, even Psy couldn't get me back into that car. He was cold, boys. But lemme tell ya.


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[Assistant] We, we got down there, we met with those guys and it was so good to, uh, sit down and talk about some of the things about the movie and, and, you know, how it changed a lot of people's lives. Well, I just happened to be one of those people.


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[Assistant] You know, you think about me and Sy, we actually, the way we met was funny and when we've told the story, of course, but, uh, we were-


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[Assistant] Yes, cause it was Alan's house, then you and Paul and me across the street.


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[Assistant] Yeah, and they said that I could read lips. Okay, and they told me that he couldn't hear good, so I had to speak real loud. So I was hollering at him. I'm hollering back. I'm trying to read his lips, he thinks.


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[Assistant] That is hilarious. Yeah, he was loud. Finally I said, can, can you hear? And he was like, yeah, can you? I said, yeah. He said, you don't have to read lips. I said,


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[Assistant] That was the first time. Yeah, because I just moved back from Abilene.


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[Assistant] And we moved out to Calhoun and we lived right across the street from John and Paula and a bunch of Al lived out there and later on Anna and Jay moved out there. Yep.


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[Assistant] But yeaah, I was just thinking while we were talking and I was like, man...


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[Assistant] Me and Cy are best buddies and we kinda, we have a lot of similarities, uh, you know, we, we're kind of in the middle of the siblings, uh, and I think we have soft hearts and we have good sense of humors and things, so we just got along. And we became buddy buddy.


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[Assistant] And as I was watching this film, you know, I just, I started thinking all the things that Sy was going through during this movie, not, not about Phil. And I mean, I did think about Phil.


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[Assistant] And his impact on everything going on. But I thought about my buddy, Sy, and what he was going through during that time. And that was kind of hard for me to think about.


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[Assistant] You know, just because here he is trying to help his brother.


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[Assistant] You know, going out, doing things and trying to be a good example, but, but it was, it was tough for you, wasn't it, Cy?


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[Assistant] But let me tell you something, Si, and I don't know that I've ever told you this, but you being there, even though you weren't perfect, it was powerful.


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[Assistant] Because he knew his brother was there with an open heart, trying to at least make a good impact on him. And he knew that about you, and I think it made a world of difference.


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[Assistant] Everybody's got somebody in their life that they're pulling for to try and make a change in the right direction or maybe come to Christ. And I had that in my life with my younger brother.


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[Assistant] And it took forever, it seems like. I kept trying to share Jesus with him and teach him. And finally, both of my brothers came to Christ. It was like the best time of my life. You know, but I never gave up on him. But, Sy, all I could do was be there for him.


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[Assistant] And I would preach to them and do what I could do, but the power is in the message about the gospel, and that's what changes lives is the gospel. I couldn't make them change. And when it came to my dad, John David, I don't know if I told you this, but


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[Assistant] I couldn't get my dad to listen to me. Did I ever tell you this story?


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[Assistant] So I wanted to sit down with my dad and share my faith with him because he was getting close to the end of his life because he had a disease.


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[Assistant] Anyway, I would keep, I would try to talk to him, but he would put me off and he would walk away and he didn't want to talk about it because that's kind of how that generation was. And so I went to his brother, Phil, and I said, Phil, I can't get through to my dad, you know.


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[Assistant] He said, all right, Mac, here's what you do. He said, here's what you do.


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[Assistant] Did I tell you this story? So I go knock on my dad's door. He opens it up and I said, what do you want me to say? He looked at me and he's just like.


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[Assistant] And it worked, you know, and we sat down and talked like we've never talked before and, uh, and I got through to him and it was great and, and when he did finally pass away, I was so glad we had that conversation, you know, so.


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[Assistant] They're great at offering hospitality without grumbling.


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[Assistant] Do it, and then hey, be done with it. That's why your mom always had food cooking and she had a plate open for somebody who would come by. I heard those stories.


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[Assistant] You know, and I know I probably haven't talked to y'all about this story, and it was a long time ago, but you come to, everybody finally comes to a decision where they need to follow Christ, but maybe they won't, you know. But when I hit rock bottom,


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[Assistant] Uhm, and there's, you know, you come from a broken family and you have reasons why you might hit rock bottom, but my rock bottom was uhm, just going out and getting drunk and doing all the things that you shouldn't be doing, you know.


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[Assistant] And I was still in high school and when, when I would wake up from one of these drunks, black in that, just blacked out drunks, whatever it is,


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[Assistant] I mean, I would wake up in my parent's yard wearing nothing but my birthday suit.


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[Assistant] And my stepdad had to bring me inside and the next morning.


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[Assistant] I didn't even know what happened. You don't even know how you got there. That's how bad it was. But here's what my mind would say, oh you're okay, you're alright, you know, you're fine, don't worry about trying to get right with Jesus. So then when it came time for me to study and hear about the gospel with Jace,


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[Assistant] I knew that I needed it, you know? I couldn't lie to myself no more.


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[Assistant] And so when I heard about the message about what Christ did for me, I was the one who was on the bottom and said, I can do this. I can try this. And, and I did it. And so, I mean, for 30 something years now, me and my girlfriend who obeyed the gospel at that time too, Alicia, my wife,


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[Assistant] Uh, our lives have changed because of that. Because Jay shared that message with us. So have our children. Their lives have changed. And my brother.


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[Assistant] So, so if you've got somebody in your life that you are almost ready to give up on, don't give up on them, you know. Keep trying to be a good influence to them, keep trying to, uh, tell them about Jesus, and if you can do it, if you can get them to this movie, I really think it'll be powerful for them. It would, yeaah.


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[Assistant] Yeah, if you don't know that you have relationship problems, look around and see. If there's a lot of broken relationships behind you and you're involved in a lot of them, it's probably you. You know?


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[Assistant] I think, I think she's probably saying we need to stop being so dependent.


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[Assistant] I was telling Godwin, me and Sy have been at retreats, but we're the ones doing the speaking. So they come in and there's worship and they're speaking and me and Sy, we give our testimonies and we're back gone on the plane. We're out. We don't get to enjoy all the rest of it.


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[Assistant] Okay, my wife asked me about this. What is rocket money?


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[Assistant] So, Amaya, you're exactly right. It's the family unit.


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[Assistant] Yeah, because if you're, if you're doing this with your family and you're building that relationship, you know, inside the home, then you can communicate about things, you know? What does that say? Nothing's gonna be a big surprise when it happens because you're in each other's lives. When we're sitting at the table and we're talking about things like Johnny D was saying,


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[Assistant] We're able to communicate. And I'm a, here's a, here's one that I got for you that I probably haven't told.


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[Assistant] But when Sy had COVID, you know, we were all scared to death of COVID because we didn't know what it was. We didn't know how it was going to affect us.


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[Assistant] I was going to go stay with him and John, I know you remember all this, you know, like it was yesterday, but I was going to go stay with him because he wouldn't take his medicine and I was going to be with him for four days and I, and I hadn't had COVID before and so, and I didn't have the shot and I was scared that I was probably going to get it and die because I'm a hypochondriac.


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[Assistant] I told my daughter, I said, and I said, baby, I don't know what's going to happen, but I need to go stay, spend a few days with Si, you know, he's got COVID. And she said, she said.


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[Assistant] She said, Can I pray for you? And it just melted my heart. Oh, it's melting mine right now. I mean, she said, Daddy, let me pray for you. And when she said her prayer for me and for Si, and she prayed for my protection,


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[Assistant] I know I drank it cold. All your gut health, it helps that. It helps your-


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[Assistant] Well, you can, you can go to Olive Garden and they got those little round dumplings. It's called gnocchi. It's chicken and little dumplings. Chicken and gnocchi.


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[Assistant] Yeah, I mean, I think you need to think about this.


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[Assistant] We all need to think about this. We have automatic negative thinking. Sometimes there's thoughts that are intrusive that comes into our heads and we think they're true. They're not true.


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[Assistant] Okay, and so a lot of times when Paul's talking about take these thoughts and hold them captive, you know, these things.


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[Assistant] And, and Christ and His Spirit lives inside of you, then you can differentiate between what is real and what is not real. And that's what gives you hope. It gives you hope for the grave. It gives you hope for the future. And anything that you do in your life,


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[Assistant] You're withdrawn. That's not gonna help. That's gonna hurt. So don't believe the thoughts that are coming into your head. Don't put yourself in that position. Get away. Get in front of some people that love you and talk about what's going on.


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[Assistant] I asked, I actually asked the guy that owns it. I said, what was this? You just had to sleep this night and what each, you know, let me invite uncle side and put him in their vituary column for, you know, come see him at, at the crematorium.


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[Assistant] I have y'all noticed that they're building stuff now and I don't know the name of it's air mixed with concrete.


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[Assistant] It was very interesting though. Okay. Cause it's built like a TP. Okay.


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[Assistant] You know, like they used all the Buffalo hives to build their teepee with sticks. Okay. But I didn't know it's a family thing because what they would do.


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[Assistant] That put the first tp down and then they do it in a circle with the rest of.


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[Assistant] So nowadays with this new air concrete foam stuff, they're making them circular. Okay. And connected.


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[Assistant] Like they'll build the first one and it's just about big rounds of these two tables. You know, it's a, uh, a round dome.


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[Assistant] And then they build the next one and hook it together. And when did I actually get them finished and built inside? It's pretty good.


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[Assistant] It's lighter and stronger and warmer. Cause like in the reservation that they were talking about, is this what we're talking about? Yeah. The pine crest reservation in South Dakota.


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[Assistant] Now that's, no, no, all they do is get fancy now.


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[Assistant] Anyways. But hey, I just thought it was cool and look, they're also into uh, solar panels.


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[Assistant] Yeah, that's the time. Just look like a mirror and it takes the sunlight and then stores it. And have you got energy now? I know that electricity and all.


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[Assistant] Who's using this? The Indians, uh, uh, Sue, I think. Okay. The coders, it's the coders. Yeah, that's the Sue, yeah.


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[Assistant] So I just thought it was actually cool, okay, yeaah.


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[Assistant] Okay, it's very good. Like I said, they were talking about, you know, it was 40 below. It gets cold in Dakota. I'm out.


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[Assistant] Yeah, when you said 40 blow, guess what? I'm heading south.


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[Assistant] Well, here's the thing, if I've got matches, I'm not gonna freeze to death.


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[Assistant] Cause I will set fire to everything I can get my hands on. Even him. Okay. Even a fat person.


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[Assistant] The coldest I've ever been, I've ever been was in Germany.


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[Assistant] And we was out in the field. Okay. And here come, we can see it coming.


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[Assistant] Oh no, that's what I told the commander. I said, hey, we need to call this field off. Let's go back to gas.


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[Assistant] He said, no, I said, we'll break out the dumb Harman Nelson haters and look, I had to put the tent up.


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[Assistant] And he said, you fixed to burn the tents up. I said, hey, trust me when I tell you this, you sit this knife out there. I said, when the tents burn down, I'm going to put gas on that and light it and we're going to stay warm for that.


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[Assistant] I said I will burn everything the United States Army has got before I freeze to death. And you can take that and put it in the bank.


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[Assistant] Hey, we had a camouflage, but hey, they pulled a camouflage netting off of the white, uh, big five gallon propane. He said, them old man, there's a flower in the duct.


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[Assistant] Look, it iced over. We go to the lake and we're coming in. We, when we pull the boat in the blind, there's a beaver sitting on owner and he's about to freeze to death. Okay.


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[Assistant] And we're going to duck hunt, okay? And Thorne's already been out there with a motor busting a ice hole.


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[Assistant] You go out there, and you take a chainsaw, if you got it, and cut a round hole, and then slide that up onto the deal. And just wait, throw your decoys out, and hey, here they come.


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[Assistant] I don't know. It worked and I'm saying, wait a minute, hold it.


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[Assistant] You're just picking a random spot in a, I asked over a hundred thousand acres.


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[Assistant] How do they know that you cut a hole in the ice?


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[Assistant] Why do you drink it? I just got 75 minerals and immune system things and all the good stuff.


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[Assistant] You, oh, come on. I'm not letting you off the hook for this. We don't have one bad accident. Kid, it got all, all uh, yo, he's done number two.


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[Assistant] If you get pregnant, darlin', you need to breastfeed your baby.


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[Assistant] Okay, when they're spitting up and then when they do number two, that good grief. Yeah, it has to do with and it's healthy.


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[Assistant] That don't bother me. But he just, hey, he just did it because his motto is a man.


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[Assistant] I ain't got time for change though. But my idea is, Hey, I can't do it because all I'm going to do is make it worse.


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[Assistant] You don't tell me- Did you go to elementary school? Mine is a medical- is a mental thing.


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[Assistant] But anyway, cause hey, you could put all, all you wanted to to cover up to my nose. I'm still going.


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[Assistant] My wife goes to the store. I'll be back in a minute. I'm with the kid. Which kid?


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[Assistant] We go outside, take your clothes off and I bring out the whole. Oh, amen.


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[Assistant] That's one of them deals like a dumbass, okay? If that happens, throw the thing away. Okay.


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[Assistant] He just, you know, young Willie Roberts, it was just a wrist, a little bit golf on the wrist. He's got the Popeye. No sleaze period.


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[Assistant] Good job, Martin. No, I'm serious. Okay. For those that can do it. Okay. They are too. For those that can do it. Everybody can do it. No, no, no, not everybody can do it. You can.


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[Assistant] It goes in the trash can. As soon as I touch it, uh oh, I'm still wet.


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[Assistant] I had a fifth grade teacher. Okay. And guess what we'd done in class.


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[Assistant] Had the most beautiful dog clothes there ever was made.


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[Assistant] Oh no, and the head thing, I could not be a nurse.


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[Assistant] That in my life too. Cause I know this because I took my doctor to the doctor took my daughter to the emergency room.


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[Assistant] Well, she had stepped on something and it had festered up when the doctor cut her to let the, yeah.


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[Assistant] You fell out? Oh, hi. Heartmate.


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[Assistant] You are on the floor. Oh, right. Blood. Right. He made it.


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[Assistant] Blood and poop is good. Especially my child blood. I'm with you.


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[Assistant] Yeah. So, you know, this bad, okay. I mean, and again, those that can do it.


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[Assistant] You know, like you watch, you know, your child being born.


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[Assistant] My brother, the who's the man motto.


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[Assistant] I have always said that it was a gift from the Almighty.


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[Assistant] I have none. And the reason I say it is because I, you know, you know, the longest songs I know of is like the gap band. That's like 13 minutes. Okay.


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[Assistant] Well, that's one of the things that I know why God didn't give it to me.


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[Assistant] Cause I got, then I'd spend my rest of my tight days in a bar singing. Okay. Cause I love you. If I could play a guitar. Yeah.


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[Assistant] 1000 people have got an instrument in their hand and he go.


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[Assistant] With underwear, t-shirt, socks, anything that's got a hole on it. Oh no, next thing's going to happen, I'm going to be naked.


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[Assistant] No, no, no, no, no. It's got worse than that. Now they go to a store.


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[Assistant] And they pay $150 for a pair of pants that ain't nothing but hoes.


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[Assistant] Uh oh people, I don't, I used, I used, my momma used to put patches on all the stuff that I had on.


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[Assistant] Hey, the biggest gunk I ever seen was in Alabama in the mountains up there on, uh, uh, paint rock back.


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[Assistant] I'm talking about, look, he's 90% white.


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[Assistant] Okay, beautiful thing. I started beautiful, but I said I won't be able to clean.


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[Assistant] Oh no, I say people just grab butter.


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[Assistant] And I'm going, don't want, don't love, don't love.


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[Assistant] Now I like to cook my steak in butter, the salt, salt butter. But.


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[Assistant] And I asked the question, would you like an elephant? Did you forget or?


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[Assistant] Yeaah. I didn't know him until now. But I'm glad to know him. Yerzy Yo, that's our man. That was so good. I mean, that's unbelievable. But we had to stop and get just a little bit of water to wet our whistles.


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[Assistant] Lavo still number one, Lavo in Vegas. Still, that meatball is unbelievable, but he's.


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[Assistant] He's two or three. I mean, I don't, I mean. That was good. That was so good. I had the one with Buddha in it. I did too. And, but you know what else was really good about that? His.


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[Assistant] I made the mistake before we came in here. I went, I smelled it in our kitchen.


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[Assistant] And I went in there and I looked and I said, oh man, that red sauce looked good.


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[Assistant] It's not sauce, it's gravy. Gravy. It's gravy. Them Italians call it gravy. Red gravy.


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[Assistant] Cause then I was like, are you from south Louisiana? Cause that's what everybody in south Louisiana calls sauce. Great.


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[Assistant] But no, he's just from New Jersey, but he's full-blooded Italian. So apparently full-blood Italians call it gravy too.


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[Assistant] Well that's a shame because it's now on the Duck Commander YouTube channel. So once you run across this, if you want to learn how to make duck meatballs with red gravy, go check it out.


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[Assistant] I do too. We're into a lot of the same things, like put everything together on bread, add cheese, call it good.


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[Assistant] When I ordered it, I ordered it like I was ordering a legacy piece that would be passed down from generation to generation.


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[Assistant] Yeaah. It just took me a minute. You got your airdrop on?


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[Assistant] Benelli's coming out with a new shotgun, and we just got him.


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[Assistant] Like first ones made sin here. Cause we've been with them for forever. And they said, Hey, can you, you know, to help promote this, can you, um, I mean, it's probably three, four, maybe five years ago now. I don't know how, whenever the super black Eagle three came out.


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[Assistant] You know, to do a little bit we can put on social media or whatever and I say yeaah. So I sent the shotgun and Dan the butler.


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[Assistant] I told Dan, I said, I need you to get a little video about Phil talking about this new shotgun. You know, it's brand new, best they've ever made, completely redesigned. I gave him all the little talking points. He's like, yeah, yeah, yeah, I got it. This is what I get in return.


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[Assistant] They snuck it in in the first verse.


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[Assistant] A song? A song? It lasts way longer than flowers? Yea, and forever on Spotify. Yea, anybody can listen to it. I mean, what else do you need? You fill out a little questionnaire, they give you a deal.


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[Assistant] You fill it out and then they send you back the song. Like it's four steps and you've got your own song.


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[Assistant] Jam. And that's what you can do. You can get on there, you can pick your favorite song fans, artists, you can get master one and they'll pour their heart into writing, professional recording and producing your original song in just four to seven days. And song fits even has a worry free guarantee, which lets you revise and fine tune your original songs, lyrics for no additional cost.


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[Assistant] They got all sorts of cool stuff. You can even add your song to streaming services so you can more easily surprise your unsuspecting recipient.


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[Assistant] Songfinch is the only original music platform that guarantees that you'll love your song or they'll work with you until they do. They stand behind their community of talented artists in every original song that they create and there have been over 300,000 of them. So this Valentine's day, put your heart on the line with a studio quality song that's totally unique to your relationship.


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[Assistant] Only takes four to seven days, but the song will last forever.


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[Assistant] After you purchase, you'll be prompted to add Spotify streaming for your original song for free. That's a $50 value. This offer is only available for our listeners at our special URL songfinch.com slash duck. That's S O N G F I N C H.com slash duck with two birds.


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[Assistant] Phil walked up to, uh, I don't remember what her title was, but it was a lady that worked for Benelli. She was Italian. She was from Italy at the factory where they design everything, all the things. And he said, you know, you Italians sure make some good pizza.