[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's exactly right. Look, you've got to check out the great specials right now from MyPillow. Go to MyPillow.com slash duck and use promo code duck to get up to 66% off and get the MyPillow per cal sheets for as low as $29.98. Again, just go to MyPillow.com slash duck and use promo code duck.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sy started off with a bunch to say and now he ain't got nothing to say. He ain't got nothing to say.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I thought, cause looking over here, like he had a bulletproof vest on, I thought he was, yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's probably what happened to your boat trailer. It probably went off and you went to check it and you forgot. That's probably what got you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, no, I was trying to give you the benefit of the doubt here.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well what do you think about us launching a satellite into an asteroid? How do you feel about that?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What? That's one of them. There's an object in, there's an object in space. I don't know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Why are they trying it? That's the question.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I don't think it's a just in case. Oh, he thinks it's practice. Oh no.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, Gavin, I'm gonna have to get you to start writing something that's down now that I'm gonna be a dad. I need dad jokes. I don't know, I was born, I was born that way. I was just born with them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He hit it. He pretty ac- I mean, he's gonna have to get close. He ain't got no arm strength no more, but he hit it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's fine. That alligator don't know he's an alligator. Now one day when he figures it out, it's gonna be a bad deal.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh yea, that's still the fun size. You can mess with them that size. Once they get up to about eight, they become a nuisance.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He gon' go get under that heat lamp. He gon' freeze. He gon' get under that heat lamp they got for him. Unreal. And he'll bake. There you go. Well, let's take another break. We'll be back right after.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Have you ever watched him on ESPN? I've watched a many of football games from a deer stand. Many of them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I just turn the volume all the way down, get it right there where I can see it, and if something happens I...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It is, uh, yeaah. It's my favorite time of year.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, way to the point now you go outside and build your far. I mean, you still ain't gonna stand real close to it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There you go, it's that time. He'll get you some, well no, nevermind. No. I guess he'll get you some weenies. You just can't have no marshmellers.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I like all hot dogs. And you don't like being a sausage. It's a hot dog.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Lee and Brittany got in a spirited debate the other night about chili. It's got beans in it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Chili. Look at the beans. Now. Ronnie D just said it right there. Hashtag.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There you go. It's a basically chili that you cut up smoked sausage and put into.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He makes lucky charms, he don't make chili. You just don't know if you're getting ribeye, filet.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But it had beans in it? Yea, it had beans in it. See, I'm anti-beans in chili.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I like chili with a little bit of shredded cheese and some saltine crackers. That's all I want with it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, Cauliflower Rye. Or the Philly on top. Yep.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But you're going to have to watch how you thicken your chili because most of the time you thicken it with flour. Can you do like a different kind of flour? Almond flour?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You made cake. Oh, it's so good. Yours, you could like pour half of it and put another layer of bacon and pour the other half if you wanted to. Oh, it's crazy. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't think. Maybe. I don't know. Let's see. I don't know. I just think. Me first.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And they're, and a volunteer's chili is a, is a Goyan.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That put a little bit of everything in there. You look up there, there's a can of Rotel in there. You're like, I do that? Huh?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hot dogs, that's fine if you want to do that. But if I want a bowl of chili.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That crumble bacon he tried to be, he come up with.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That is true. I'm starving. You won't put bacon in chili. I'm okay with that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] M Ohio folks on that bag chili. Ain't that right? I draw a line there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How did it, it was first grade? What grade was she in? She was going, ah!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In first grade in Vivian, Louisiana, there's two schools servicing that today at the same bus stop. Something's wrong logistically.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The buses weren't full, but they had to send them different directions, otherwise they'd have been there till late. Sy was just out there trolling the bus stop.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I really, I'm not even saying I don't remember cause it's embarrassing. I honestly have no recollection of that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'd say 100% he's doing the right thing. Do the best you can, provide the care you can, and if it gets outside of scope of what you can provide, then you gotta do something else. But, you know, it's uh, they took care of you for, I'm assuming a minimum of 18 years.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Probably a little more. Probably more, most likely.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, repay it all. That's why I'm glad these two youngs, you wait till they can hold a wheat eater, son. They about to get on that bag.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, you gotta trick them into getting that weed eaters fun. They got me with it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I like edges. I like sharp edges. I don't like no grass touching my concrete.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'll teach them boys how to do it. I'll teach them boys how to do it. That's right. You gotta get that thing upside down. And then one day they gonna be... One day they gonna figure out that was a trick and they gonna be sitting here, I don't know, podcast may not be a thing by them, but if they are, they'll be complaining about me teaching them how to do it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Absolutely. Alright, we'll see y'all next time right here. We're out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So you ain't nervous at all about, cause you've been through that. Well, no, no.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hey, oh, I was nervous. So you ain't worried about next week.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Throw some prayers up for Si, uh, while he's in recovery. Uh, and we can't wait. We're going to do a couple more before he has to go do surgery, but, uh, we're rooting for you, big dog. Hey, as always, we love you. Tune in. Actually, I got questions for Si. Tune in next.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Thank you. Alright, I'm about to get you on this because me and Stone have been taking it. Oh, Captain America Christian Huff turned us on to it. It's athletic greens. It's a great way to start your morning. Great way to get all your vitamins, all your minerals, all your everything. I don't even know how to pronounce it. You don't eat breakfast. You just drank it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I eat breakfast sometimes, but the first thing I do in the morning, fill up a glass of water, put that in there, shake it up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hey look, when you do that in the morning, you're absorbing 75 high quality vitamins, minerals, whole foods, sourced superfoods, probiotics and adaptogens to help you start your day right. This special blend of ingredients support your gut health, your nervous system, your immune system, your energy, recovery, focus, aging.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's all the things right there in one drink every morning. I like it. Stone likes it. We about to get Godwin on it. Look.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Whatever diet you're on, it works. Keto, paleo, vegan, dairy free, gluten free, whatever you do, this is going to work for you and you're going to sleep better. You're going to have better mental clarity and awareness alertness. And here's the best part. It's pretty cheap. You spend more on.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You spend more on a cup of coffee than you would on this. It's totally worth it. So right now it's time to reclaim your health and arm your immune system with convenient daily nutrition, especially heading into the old flu and cold season. It's just one scoop in a cup of water every day. That's all you got to do. Not all these pills and supplements and all that stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Super easy. So to make it even easier to get to your house, Athletic Greens is going to give you a free one year supply of immune supporting vitamin D and five free travel packs with your first purchase. All you have to do is visit athleticgreens.com slash duck. Again, that's athleticgreens.com slash duck to take ownership over your health and pick up the ultimate daily nutritional insurance.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was going to ask you questions, but you, you said you have something more pressing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Who did- Okay, cause I found the episode, but it's-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Overtime. Off to a collaboration. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Don't you know that we landed in Plymouth Rock? I don't mean you can't, you could have showed up at any moment. Well, that's what I'm talking about. This is America, son.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, there you go. I always just go back to that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How many different subscriptions do you have a month?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I, I, I spent five dollars to watch one soccer game one time. Next thing I know, I'd been paying for it for eight months. So that's why.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I got into rocket money and if you're like, Hey, what's rocket money? It used to be called true bill.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Now it's called Rocket Money. Same great service. It's awesome. You gotta check it out. They help you manage and cancel subscriptions you don't need, want, or simply forgot about with just a tap.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And like I said, that sounds familiar cause it used to be Truebill, now it's Rocket Money, which is a way cooler name cause they're backed by rocket companies. Why? Well for one, Truebill has grown from a bill management app into a full on personal finance empowerment tool that helps over three


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're gonna love it. You need to do it. It's the world of subscriptions and this and that. This is gonna keep money in your pocket and not let you waste money. So start canceling your unused subscription and save money at rocketmoney.com slash duck. That's rocketmoney.com slash duck or download the app from the Apple, Apple app store or Google play store.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You could think about there's so much what you've seen in the woods.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] People would enjoy roller coasters. No. You would have fun. No.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Not on a roller coaster. I actually, last time I rode a roller coaster, we went like in the heart of


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I cannot ride the same roller coaster for eight straight times without feeling like I'm gonna hurt myself.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was like, there's nobody here. I just sat and I was like, Hey, I'm not getting off. He said, I ain't getting off. Run it back. Run it again. But I finally reached a point. I was like, this is, this is foolish. I'm too old for this. This hurts now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That was the first roller coaster I ever rode actually. And I didn't ride another one for like 10 years because I was scared.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause he always talks about how when he gets to heaven, he's gonna be an interstellar traveler.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I got some. I love those things. I wear them when I take the kids to school in the morning. I put them slippers on and my feet are like on clouds every morning. Look, but right now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] MyPillow is having their biggest bedsheet sale ever. The MyPillow per cal sheets are available in a variety of colors and all sizes are on sale. For example, the queen size sheets are regularly priced at $89.98 and right now they're only $39.98 with promo code duck at mypillow.com slash duck. That is a deal.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're almost being irresponsible for not taking part of this great sale. Go get you some, they're awesome, they're gonna last you a long time, uh, they're breathable, have a cool crisp feel, and they have deep pockets to fit over any mattress, so you're not gonna be the guy trying to


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Man, that's the worst part. These don't do that and they come with a 10 year warranty. 10 years.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And a 60 day money back guarantee if you don't like them, but trust me, you're going to, so you don't even need to know about that. Cause you're going to keep them. Look, you've got to check out the great specials from my pillow. Go to my pillow.com slash duck and use promo code duck to get up to.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] 66% off and get the MyPillow per cal sheets for as low as $29.98. Again, just go to mypillow.com slash duck and use promo code


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Duck. Or call 800-969-3137 and use promo code DUCK. Order now because when they're gone, they're gone.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Why are you so concerned with other people also catching fish?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, we gotta- I'm telling you it's ambiguous. We're gonna take our last break and we'll get in that hello at duck call room when we get back.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know. I don't actually know where this one's from, but Josh. Josh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Josh, I don't know his last name. That's a good name. If that's his last name that I'm reading, I can't pronounce that anyway. Okay. But I don't really do last names.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Anyway, Josh emails in, uh, he works, uh, for a lawn care company and he listens to us all while riding the lawn mower. Thank you, Josh. Thanks for listening, Josh. Um, but he's wanting a little bit of guidance regarding, uh, some stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, so here's the deal. He fell in love with a wonderful woman. Got married about two years ago. She had two children. Son's 12, daughter's 20. He's very close to his stepson. Uh, hangs out with him a lot. His stepdaughter's already grown, she's not in the house. Uhm, he was raised Christian.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He had been a believer as long as he can remember. However, uh, his new family didn't really practice a lot of, uh, he puts religion. They share the same moral values and


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're real good people, but not his wife, not a Christian. Uh, he's scared.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's trying to figure out what to do. Uh, his stepson likes the Bible. He says prayers at dinner. Um, but he just feels like they can't take that next step from good person to Christian. First question. What are you scared of?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, and I think he's down with that. I think the tough part and what he's kind of looking for.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, and that's, I've noticed in life, it's way easier to tell


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What I would, I don't want to say a bad person, but you know, someone at the bottom of the rope, someone who's been through a lot, someone who's struggling really bad with something, you can tell them about Jesus and it sounds way better. But the people are like, I'm a good person. I don't do a lot of bad things. They're tough because they, they're tough to.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, convince or to show like, hey, there's a better, there's an even better way than just being a good person.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I think Godwin absolutely nailed it too, with patience.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I love it. Alright, I'm gonna lead us out of here with a little Bible verse about hope and patience, cause that just fits right into that. Romans 8, 24 and 25, for in this hope we were saved, but hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what they already have?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patient.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You just wait patiently, man, and you keep living it out. And I think you're going to have great results. That's right. And we wish you the best and we'll see you in heaven. And we'll see you next time right here in the duck call room.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yep. Oh, breakfast and bread, boys. Well, you don't want pancakes in bed. That's gross. What do you mean gross? We had it at the table.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then my dad cooked for our whole family. Which seemed messed up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because... Seem messed up. My dad has to cook on Father's Day. But he loves doing that. He likes to cook anyway. He did, he cooked for the whole family on Father's Day.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh yea, I got, my daughter got me some bubble bath. She picked it out herself. I'm not really into bubble baths.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, you oughta try it. I'm into baths. There ain't nothing wrong with a good soak.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Where did y'all go? Oh, they wasn't holding their mouth right. They went to a pond. I did sneak over to Willie's pond and catch a few. Oh, they always bite me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Ain't nobody ever been mad about that. Nobody's ever mad about a good steak, or good pork, or anything like that. So get him a moink box. It's my new go-to gift.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was supposed to be a big week, but it was Father's Day week, so I couldn't.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My, my family, my wife's family went up to visit her grandma. I wasn't going to go because I was just couldn't get off work. But then I was like, you know what?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Working for Willie, I got a lot of sky miles. Maybe I can go up for a couple of days, fly home, uh, and then be at work all week anyway. So I went up because Carter was determined, remember the rhino that were goats and it was, everybody was sad. We had a lot of people write in about it too, upset that there was some sort of.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Look, so we went to St. Louis. We drove all the way there. Next day, first thing we're doing, we went to the zoo in St. Louis.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We will land, no, the penguins were awesome, it did stink, but that's it, that, look, that dude's free too. No cost of admission.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We bought more rhinos. Okay. Carter has four rhinos in his bed now. Okay. So we go around the whole park, the elephant, the rhino, like literally it's the last thing again.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, but look, so we finally get to the rhino, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A lot of places had the water with the big glass walls, so it's like inside them. Really cool. Real look cool. So we get to the rhino and I'm like, it's not here.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I said, I failed as I've, I've driven all this way, and then there is a rhino. It is just in the furthest away possible area. So I got Carter on my shoulders. We're trying to like look through bushes and I'm like, man.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We go around the other side and I'm just, he's, he's excited, but I mean.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You basically needed some binoculars. I'm like this. It didn't seem good enough. And so I remember, this is a, this is a true story as goofy as it sounds. I remember all, all week Carter's praying for the Tyler, Tyler Texas Zoo to get them a rhino. Cause he feels bad for all the other kids looking at goats.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so then I'm sitting there and I go, you know what? This is going to sound stupid, but I'm doing it. I was like, dear Lord, I know you got a lot on your plate.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right now, that would be awesome. Really cool for me and Carter. I know this is a little superficial, but.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What's on my heart right now is I need that rhino to walk over here and I kid you not.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Turns, walks straight towards this, and I was like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It has happened. I was fired up. I was like, yeah, Rhino. And then Carter's all excited. It starts eating like right over close to us. And I was like, we've done it. We have officially seen the Rhino in person.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Ryanalicious, well, now there's Ryanalicious 2, there's Ryanalicious, and there's one other one. I think it, it starts with Ryan something.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There you go. And then we bought some penguins and popcorn. But he ain't cool as well.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In person and it got way closer than the furthest possible shout out to the father for that one. The hippos were cool.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Have you ever been to the top of the arch in St. Louis though?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The worst part- It's 30 by the way, Rhino's run 30, I looked it up. He just said it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He was right. But that ride up there and that little, like, y-y-y-y-y-y-y.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So that's the only two things I did in St. Louis. I saw a hip, a rhino. Did you eat some barbecue? No, I ate some fried chicken at my boy Rick's place. Oh, big Rick. Grace meat and three in St. Louis. Best fried chicken in St. Louis. I went. Did you go to a Cardinals game? I only had two days. Go Ash.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That rhino was the most important thing. Also, we have decided next summer we're renting an RV. We're going to the Memphis Zoo. We're zoo people.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Have you ever noticed you don't even find, like, water bottles in the woods? It's always a beer can? Mhm. Or on the beach? Like, people that drink water pick it up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Why is it always like Milwaukee's best is what you find out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's always, Neverwaterball is like Milwaukee's best and Mountain Dew.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We're going to Florida in a few weeks. I'll, I'll report back. You need to go in the middle of the night.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh boy. It was hot. I got off work Saturday and the kids want to go to the pool. My parents pool and I was like, I'll grill hot dogs. I stood by that grill.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, uh, I mean, I'm no Kobayashi, but chili. I'll win a local size.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And in, was that, this is 148, and I think in 48 of them, you have said you wanted to ride a zebra ostrich.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Some people call giraffes things horns, but they're not horns. Giraffe horns are not, for those listening, I'm doing air quotes, horns, horn lights. I can't even pronounce it. Alright, giraffes have horns, whatever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you're gonna ride. At the Tyler Texas Zoo, you can hand him lettuce. We need to go to the zoo. We need a zoo that has a black panther and, uh, and a giraffe and a rhino. And we're going to do duck call room from the zoo.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, remember our friends that got engaged and I was like, man, it's cool getting an update. People actually take our advice. I got two updates.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] From emails we answered. I'm pretty sure Phil was here when we answered. So do you guys remember Taylor from North Carolina? Nope. She'd had a friend forever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] From elementary, they've known each other for 15 years, but she wanted to go somewhere else, and we told her, you just gotta go for it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We're dumb, you gotta spell it out for us. So, update. It's not that great of an update. Uh oh. But this is good news, eventually. So she spoke with her friend, laid it all out there. He doesn't feel the same way.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It might have stung for a minute, but at least you're not in this... It's an answer. Answers are a good... It's an answer. And you have to remember...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And we got more! So remember, oh boy, uh, what's his name again? Reagan. He...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Are you excited? So, as suggested, I had a pretty hard conversation with my wife about her sister.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Um, and so then they had a talk with the sister-in-law. Um, they're not kicking her out. Uh, she needs a place to stay, but she's going to start doing some things around the house to help out. Good. Um, loving family, loving family, but hey, it's time to start doing some chores. Basically is what the end game was. Perfect. And everybody's happy because you know why?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, so just, I thought they were good updates. Not, not that they necessarily ended great, but. But they did. But they end, they, we got answers. They ended. We got, cause you know, what is known is managers.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, so. There you go. You wanna end it? I'll end it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I already hit this verse on, on, I don't even know what I was trying to say earlier on this podcast. Uh, and it's just a great one. Cause I always say the Bible is not a rule book. It's a playbook. And if you follow it, it is true. What size says it will you, it will.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, so John 10, 9-11, Jesus is talking.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I am the gate. Whoever enters through me will be saved. They will come in and go out and find pasture. The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I have come that they may have life and have it to the full.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm just slightly less good looking than Cory, and shorter.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Two for sure. There might've been a third, but we're not going to talk about that one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I got out at two of them and, and I'm not going to say anything bad about Corey because she got me out of the other two firing. So Corey's great. So there you go. She kept me from getting fired.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hey, that's a good, that's a smart man right there. That's a good call. Okay then, Sire.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Bronze is the interesting one. You know what's funny is I really miss Jip.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Maybe because we were just like, you know, in the trenches together.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I quit counting at 30, I think I'm, you're you 37? When did you turn 37?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm 37. I'm just a little older than him, but not by like a full year.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I constantly ask my wife how old I am. That's cause she's older.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] To a woman. We got to get Walter on the podcast. But I want to be here when he's on. Yeah. It'd be in the studio.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Young kid, kind of big, blonde hair. Very strong. Didn't talk much at all. Yeaah, he filmed you duck hunting a few times.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Look, I'm still, they still call me Frodo. That was the first thing when I walked in and I said Frodo Baggins.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, so when I first came to work here, uh, you know, I I'm in the video world, right? And so when I first came to work here.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Willie put me down at Phil's and it was like middle of the summer.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And my job for about the first two weeks, Phil had just cleared out this big duck hole and then he had burned it. And my job was to pick up sticks for two weeks.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's right. For two weeks I picked up sticks, burnt sticks, and I'm just putting them in a pile.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was so excited that I got upgraded to the warehouse where I got to use the tape gun.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Working with Galvin. Working with Galvin and Jep. You know, Jep's in there watching TV. Just sitting there packaging duck calls. Galvin's out there on the tape gun. Jase is in there doing his duck call building. Sy's sleeping. I got the whole experience before.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I sent him an email from my college address.


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[Assistant] And he happened to get it and he says to this day, the only reason he answered it was because of my email address being at Harding.edu.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That happened to be the same college Willie went to. And so he says.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He said, I only answered your email because of the email address. So.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Picking up sticks. Hey, you gotta put your time in.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Martin was up there, literally, I'm in there editing and Martin's in there just picking up the phone cold calling people. You want Duck Commander Duck Calls, you want DVDs, I mean just.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I miss the lunches. That's what I really miss. When you'd have Miss Kay just come in there and feed everybody. One person you didn't want to get behind though. Who? John Godwin. God. Love him to death.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, what's funny too is when I first came to work here, which it still holds true to this day, Phil would always accuse camera guys of just being weird.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, and, uh, one of those days when I was burning sticks, I was coming back, my, my wife, Angela, she was working with Ms. Kay. And so we were coming back to our house that day. We were driving down, uh, Lee Anding and.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I see this black figure cross road and this is before the iPhone. Okay. No phones. We got Motorola razors. You ain't flipping that open and getting a good video. And so we pull up there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it stands up and it's looking at us. And I was like, man, that's a big dog.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And we get up a little closer, my wife says, that's not a dog, that's a bear.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I immediately called Phil. Do you remember this? Oh, okay. Well called Phil and his first thing was, well, where was your camera?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I said, well, I didn't have a camera. He said, well Frodo that I've never seen a bear out here ever. And it was like a week later.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think y'all saw a big track out on the land, but I got made fun of for like a week cause I had no idea about the Panther thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And they were like, oh yeah, every camera guy that comes through here is talking about the black Panther. Now they seen it and size got this black Panther. He's been saying and.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] One time at about a hundred yards filming Willie deer hunt. Okay. That's it. I've seen it look like a bobcat had been rolling in the mud.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'll tell you what I have. Have you ever heard of like the red, I think it's a red wolf is what they used to have here.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Red wolves. Those aren't common to see though anymore, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What I saw was a wolf in my yard. There's a red wolf when you live here. He was red colored. Yes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, but it, it, it was at least 80 to a hundred pounds. Like I had a big dog at the time and it was bigger.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The turkeys keep them away. The turkeys will keep them away.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I know I was, I was actually supposed to be on that hunt and it didn't work out. And then what's funny was Philip was like, Hey, I'll film it with my phone. And then I asked him, Hey, how did it go? And his reply was really fun. No good video.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We can talk about that time you missed that buck about seven times.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I wasn't in Japan, but apparently he missed another buck in Japan.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You shoot the first time and he kind of walks off and then he does come back. You shoot again. Yep. He just stands there looking. You shoot again.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He starts to walk off, then you tried to get out of the blind and we had like an hour left of daylight. I was like, hey, let's just, let's just sit down. Like what else we got to do?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, Jordan's gotta talk him through it. Yeah, you gotta talk him off the ledge. I mean, so Si had the yips.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. Oh, bad, bad. But, but what's, what I will say about him is that he knew he did. He kept, he just kept talking to himself. Oh my gosh. I can't shoot worth it. Dang it. I mean, just kept on going.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How far was this gear? Oh, it was anywhere, anywhere between 75 and 200. Like I'm just saying between all six shots, like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, well, it got to a point where I was just watching where the bullet was going every time. And I was like, not put it on his foot and then maybe he'll hit him.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Beautiful thing. I got me a good turkey hunting spot out of it too.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Egg shake. Egg something. Egg pod. Egg pod. Egg pod. Amazon. Yeah. Egg pod. Yeah. Everything's on Amazon.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I've got a, uh, a 13 going on 14 year old and an eight year old.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I would say if anything, time has flown by so fast. I mean, I remember when they were little bitty babies holding them in the hospital and it has just flown by and I wish I could have done way more and soaking up the moment.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Throughout their lives. And so I would encourage that always just live each day to the fullest with them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Encourage them and, and help them grow and teach them things. I mean, there's, you're going to do all that anyway, but.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, it's just going to go by so quick. So just make sure you take that, that time with, with both of your kids are, I mean, that's good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know if this is what you would like. You gotta be real patient and I don't think patience is your best virtue.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. And at this point we need all hands on deck. The more people we got looking, the better chance we got. I like Jeff's attitude.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, alright, yeaah, but Martin's got somebody that's really, really special here today. Who's with him. And that's Ms. Brittany, his wife.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, and that, with that, I'm gonna start it off with a question. Okay. I know he's having a blast.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay. Cause that's all he talks about. Okay. But you, how is mom doing with the situation we've got?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, no, distribute the weight. Okay. No, no, no. I understand what she's saying. Okay. Cause my wife, okay. When I gained this here, I walked around just, it was a, it was amazing. It's new.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, don't and I don't that. But I do in a way because when I...


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[Assistant] Okay. And then like somebody, I can't get comfortable with the rest of the night because I'm miserable because I ate too much.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh no, yeaah. But the other night, the other night he cooked them and I've got to tell you, whenever you put on them the other night...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's what you do when you serve me ribs. Because normally, I fight them all night long. Well, that's the only thing I was worried about at that time. And I knew it because I went back, he had baked beans that he put candy jalapenos in and it was, it had some heat.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then she's got the serious problem is, okay, is she keeps running out of clothes that actually fit. Oh, she done moved into my side. No, no, cause she had to stand up while the golden was going.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] She's from Tennessee for crying out loud. Nope. Hey, hey, triple X or quattro X.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hey, if you had two boys kicking on your, uh, bladder, yeah, you'd have to tee-tee.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Found out y'all didn't finish it yesterday on yesterday's podcast.


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[Assistant] Well he was shy. He thought you were a girl for a few weeks. Everyday. Maybe I was shy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I told you he's shy. Well, how would you like somebody to bring a camera in your living room? So we got an introvert. You did it for a few years.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hey, look, I grew up that way. Our neighborhood was that way. If you acted a fool in the neighborhood.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, and hey, the first thing they'd do, they'd either walk to the house or call and say, hey, I'm sending him home and I just tore his tail up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay. No, no. Yeah. Okay. This kid comes over and he was beating on his younger brother. So I told him, I said, Hey, stop it. Well, he spit on me and look, there was no thought process in it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was a, y'all, and as soon as I did it, after I done it, I said, oh, you idiot, me and you, me and the husband fixin' to go fisticuffs. Cause he's a hothead. Yeah. Okay. So I went to the mom, I said, hey, where's dad? Yeah. And she said, oh, he didn't come today.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I said, well, you better be real careful when you tell him this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I said, your son just spit in my face. And I said, ma'am, it was no thought involved. It was reflex.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I said, so hey, tell your husband that I apologize that I said, but it wasn't no thought involved.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's the nicest thing in my human, in my mind, that another human being can do.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I just, y'all, but evidently she must have told him good because he met me at church and he said next time, tear his butt up after you set him back down on the ground.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, no, no, no. My daughter had to have her, uh, had a, uh, sis come up on her leg and had to lance it. And when they did that, I.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've heard stories about Martin and his brother. That was what's so funny was watching. Yes. Okay. You know, you sit there and be looking and tell it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh no, that's the coolest thing, cause she said, hey, here, put your hand up here. And it was...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's what you're putting up with? I said, that don't hurt? All day, every day. Yes, it does hurt. I said, it don't hurt you? And she said, well, sometimes. Yeah. When he gets a little too carried away, yeah. Especially when they're in the rib cage. Yeah, on the ribs, y'all. He's stretching his legs and he's got it against my rib. They have no regard for mom.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, but nowadays, hey, if you, you go with somebody that's good with electronics,


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[Assistant] No, because it's like the Bible with Jesus, the mystery. Okay, that's what childhood is.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You've just stepped into the Twilight zone, so to speak. And I mean, sometimes you'll think that too, when you're having those issues with the children, when they won't behave.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hey boys, guess where I'm headed to? I can't ever guess. Australia? Nah, I'm fixin' to head to New Zealand.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I grabbed me a couple of them Omega XL pills, they're small and easy to swallow.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, pop em in. Wash em down with a little tea, baby.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Where'd they go? Hey, they go 120 miles an hour. They're going to my wrist. I got information and it's painful. And when they get there, when they get there, about two seconds flat, Hey, they take care of business. The pain is gone. Yeah. Everything's cool. And Hey, I'm back on my.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm a breaker, not a fixer. Here's my deal. Here's my advice to you. You may not be a fixer. Cause if you have trouble with your fiction. Okay. Cause like, if I try to fix something, I should have just want to head and hire whatever the plumber or the call a plumber, whatever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, because I'm going to tear up twice what they're going to have to fix.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You got it. Hey look, the announcement is, Jeff Plateau and Jess have finally come to their senses and are leaving Texas and returning back to their roots to rejoin the family here in West Monroe, Louisiana. Jeff has returned.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hi Uncle Si, Mr. Murray, Mr. Jason, Mr. Jip. I'm an 11 year old, just started treasure hunting. I usually go back in my backyard down by the creek. If you could go anywhere to treasure hunt, where would you actually go? Your friend Timothy, Himberger.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What's the beauty of it? I got a birthday present and I want to share it with everybody. Okay. Oh good. But I gotta ask you something first. Okay. Which flavor?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What'd you like original? OG's always solid. Interested. Jalapeno. Nobody's ever been mad at that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Urban barbecue. Ooh, bourbon bar. I got, yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Smoked! Or just hot and spicy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, yeah, y'all can share. We don't have to eat them all. You ready, Johnny D? What is it? Coming at you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know, but I'm glad to know that peer pressure only takes you three minutes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You need to try it. Look, your customers, but you reorder Vienna sausage at the Honey Hill. Now you know all the flavors. Imagine what sales are going to do. You get bourbon barbecue.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And you can probably, you can probably sell them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] With a cup of W-solve for a dollar.


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[Assistant] On crackers? Do you know how easy that fits in your blind bag? Yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah, then you cracked a lid, poured a jelly off, and then you enjoy one of nature's finest delicacies.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But what I'm saying with Spam is it's still got that jelly around it too. So the first thing I do is drop it on paper towel and I remove some jelly and then we get to cooking it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Look, we do all love all the products, the slippers, pillows, towels, you name it, it doesn't matter, but right now MyPillow is having their biggest bed sheet sale ever. The MyPillow percale sheets are available in a variety of colors in all sizes, our own sale.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] For example, the queen size sheets are regularly priced at 89.98 and right now they're 39.98. 50 bucks. With promo code duck at my pillow dot com slash duck. That's, that's over half off. That's incredible.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But you have to order now because there's a very limited supply. The MyPillow percale sheets are breathable and have a cool crisp feel.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They have deep pockets to fit over any mattress and they come with a 10 year warranty and a 60 day money back guarantee, but you won't need it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You've gotta check out the great specials from MyPillow. Go to MyPillow.com slash duck and use promo code duck to get up to 66% offing to get MyPillow per cal sheets for as low as $29.98. Again, just go to MyPillow.com slash duck and save 50 bucks. But you use promo code.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Duck! There you go, or you can call 800-969-3137 and use promo code... Duck! Order now, because when they're gone... They're gone!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] For real though, when I used to stop at a gas station and get them, I'd have to get one of them coffee stirrers, cause the hard part is getting that first one out, but you can take a coffee stirrer and shove it all the way to the bottom.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That was the key to the puzzle. It's like Jenga, whichever one comes out. But you take that coffee stirrer and stick it. No, I didn't. Look, you get to grab that coffee stirrer and get that meat out of it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's the same stuff, slam jam just got liquid smoke wrapped around it and it's dried out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I posted those three cans of the flavors I hadn't seen on my Instagram story.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I can tell you this, one of our fans works where those are made. Cause they said, I bet I made the bourbon barbecue ones. That is a, there you go.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They just sent me a message. Of course I replied. I said, good work.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He was excited. Our fans are how I found Dot's pretzels, which by the way, whoever that was that sent those in the first time, kudos, cause I have spent a ton of money on them since.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That must have been on a different aisle. That ain't no variable, Hormel and Vianna.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, they're better for you. Hey, do me a favor. Take one of these cans home and have all you kids try them. Will they try them?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How many watermelons you got? Two. Okay. Roughly the same size as the kids. So that's what I did. Hey, that girl's sharp.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well yeaah. Well she married me. Pretty smart. I can't even tell you. Hey, hey. Look at there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sweaty. Very sweaty. Saran Wrap does not breathe.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hey, she did and I just said yes dear.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] She's handled this with a lot more grace than I probably would have, so.


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[Assistant] I said, if that's what you wanna do, that's what we're gonna do. So I walked around all day yesterday like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Ah, that was mid-morning, about nine till about seven last night when I quit cooking dinner.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm in. Hashtag TikTok made her do it is what she said. I don't know, but.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] She saw it on TikTok and asked me if I'd do it. So I did it. She made me get in the bed, roll over, do all the things.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's fun. That was a good time. I'll say this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's about four and a half pounds eight. A forty pound watermelon's pretty big. That's a biggin'. He wouldn't have fit on my belly.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, the doctor told her this morning and said, I think you're going to get 37, 38 weeks. And we both looked at each other like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, the doctor said, don't worry, you're gonna get bigger. Oh yeaah. I'm like, how? She goes straight out as it is. There's some ways you can-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I just watched that. The only thing we need to know about that delivery is where the scalpel is. Oh. Did you do that Johnny?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh man. So I said, no, I'm just a coward. No, I'm out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Vietnamese dawn. Yep. Yep. My granddaddy went to Vietnam. We dug up size whole yard looking for that thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] All we found was $20.72 in loose change for 1978. What'd you do with it? Where's the, where's the?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know, I once thought that on Jar of Pickles and that didn't work out for him.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The problem is there's a 50-50 chance the pickles weren't even ours. That they could have floated up from down the river.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, that's the problem. See, like I'm getting ready to go to Wyoming. Problem is there'll only be 15 foot of ladder. Cause everything's on a hill.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We tight, man. I don't like being that high off the ground. Unless I'm in an aeroplane.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There you go. Well hey, eyewitness report. That wasn't even on Planet Earth.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hello at DuckCallRoom.com is the email address.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is, I don't, there's a translator? Is that a full time gig?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know the day to day life of a translator.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you're called to teach, go teach. Like I don't, you know, I don't, I don't know that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, that's just a lot of stuff I don't know about that. But if you're called to teach and you can do it a full time gig, do it. Like you don't want to wail.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Whatever you feel like God's calling for you, if that's the weld something, weld it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If it's to be a translator and a teacher, do that. Like, I don't, hey, whatever. I didn't think I was going to be.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't want to get in nobody's business here, but if that's the kind of feeling you're having at a church, you may need to go find a different church.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've never had a problem getting involved on anything I wanted to at the church house.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's always been people that's inviting that'll let you in and do all that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But are you being forward enough to do it? There it is.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. If you've been sitting back waiting on them to come to you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've always found they're always pretty easy to get involved with. You just have to take that first step.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And from all my experience in Knoxville, if you want people to talk to you, just show up in like an Alabama shirt or a Florida Gator shirt. Somebody gonna come say something to you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And move on. That's right. Oh, so it doesn't actually say check the whole bunch. I was wondering what translation that would be.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So what's, so what's your plan here to learn?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's free time. Speaking of looking good, Martin. Oh, hey. Hey, that chart is really fine.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Izzy, he's still got that blonde hair. Who's telling him that's a good idea to like, keep that going?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was there for that. I encouraged that, that thing went fast.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, but no, somebody, it wasn't him posted a picture of him making tacos and I, he still has that blonde hair.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Really everything he cooks is a pizza because it's got, you know, a gratuitous amount of cheese on top of it. He's a goulash man.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's the dog's name, but apparently it's a derogatory term now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is it one with the, like the plastic one with the crawfish on it?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, Ms. K's got to be tough because she's been married to Phil for her.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause you were telling me something right before Martin got here.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I didn't know Phil wrestled in his sleep. Oh, thanks.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Remind me to never like, go wake him up. Don't worry, you won't.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You have made a switch from old tub-a-ware to, oh yeaah, stainless steel. Well, it holds up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Quick question, were you gonna go bowling if you didn't hurt your hand?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Not today. I guess I haven't bowled enough for that to happen to me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I went through a spell in junior high where I was in the emergency room about five times in one year. Cut part of my finger off, had a concussion on roller blades. Yeah, that was dumb. Broke my knee.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Gate rings are dangerous. No, I was in the driveway, my friend was on the scooter, I was on rollerblades.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's two problems. I was winning the race, which is rare for me in life to win some sort of speed contest.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then the guy goes, help stop him. And one kid was playing basketball and he said, okay. And he threw the basketball at me, hit my rollerblades.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I hit my head on the concrete and next thing I know I was in the hospital. Uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He might have even played college baseball. He was really good and really athletic. But, uh, I, I don't remember. They like took me across the street to some people's house. Nope. No memory. They were asking me what day of the week it was. I was gone.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh no no. Oh I'm not doing that. No no. Have you ever ice skated?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh no, let's go. Yeah, but your day in age, like, the skate rink was the thing, was it? Oh no, yeah, oh yeah, it was a big deal.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I thought you'd be like one of the people doing the disco, skating backwards.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, well I got an email from Kelsey from Alabama. Uh, and it's, uh, we're going political gang. Roll down. Because we got t-shirts that say Phil for president.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I got one, I almost wore it today. Uh, she loves the podcast very much and listens all the time. I was thinking that this country needs more Christian Redneck presidents. Would any of y'all want to be president?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] President, he wants to be the president and go for it direct quote. They're going to carve my face in that rock right beside Abraham Lincoln. Well, there you go.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't want to be mayor. I do kind of want to be mayor just so we can get a bucket.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, well Kelsey, uh, if you're wanting one of us to run for office of any sort. We don't want a job. You're gonna have to wait on Carter. Yep, we don't want a job.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] At the end. The baby. Don't give none to Willie. Alright.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But you didn't give, you didn't stop. And that's what that verse is all about. For at the proper time, you will be rewarded.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So we can discuss that, but before we get into that, before we get into that, fan appreciation. I got three of them. Okay. The.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right, let me get back to my other friends that we did nip to.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, the other fan is a, let's see here boys, is Drake Jarrett. Okay, and he's a freshman at Apple Valley High School, and he's into, uh, what is it, uh, FFH.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, and he's got a pig, and what is the pig's name? I hope it's uh, please be, sir. Is he sending us the pig?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh yeah, my pig is a hamster pig name. What is that daughter chick or Sherry or something like that?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Feel the English major. Okay. Cause English is, you know, that's not my strong point. I think you're better.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Thank you fans for all of this. Okay. I appreciate it. T-shirt and everything else.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And maybe one of these days there, Drake, I will meet you in check.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, here we go. Ah, that's out of the way.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So my mother, my mother used to when dad was at the table, he'd have a glass of tea and when he was low, he would rattle that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Not say a word. She'd jump up, go get it, fill it up, and then she said, if you do that one more time, I'm gonna knock you out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's right. She's smiling, she hadn't admitted it. They tried to throw me out of a restaurant because we'd went out. Okay, and it's like what?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The people were begging to, hey, let me close the stupid restaurant.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hey, Zach Brown had wrote a song about that. She's got it leaving in her eyes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hey, that's the truth. I took a cigar, uh, band off a cigar and that's what she put on her finger when I said I do. And it said it's a boy. No. It was just a congratulations.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hey look, all this is new to me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So all this is due to me, okay. Cause my view of it, for all, but say that thing, that's why they tell you eyewitnesses are no good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You were there. Well, I'm just saying that's why they say eyewitnesses cops will tell you eyewitnesses are not to be trusted. It's your story, your life and you were there. As I saw it. Okay. I put a, I put a cigar band on her finger and said, I do.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Now she's telling me I bought her a 16 cheap $16 ring.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm telling you, especially you ain't got none. I thought you didn't do it. I didn't get paid till after I got out, you know, till I got, you know, was out of the army.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] SPMs, okay, which I don't know what that is, but it's a medical term. Okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But anyway, but you know what they do. Yeah, but Hey, it's like the fountain of youth. Okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, hey, I done passed out. Okay. We're, we're in the 74 year stage. I'm on four years of bonus time. I thought you were 14. Hey, that's in the, I'm trapped in a four year old.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Anyway, back to Omega XL, alright?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I take a couple of them every morning, okay, because hey, I get information in the wrist joint, elbow sometime, knees every once in a while.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I call them my first responders. They jump in them vehicles, boys, they turn the sirens on and they're like, and they rush to wherever I'm hurting. Wrists, knees, elbow, and hey, it's gone. Okay, it's like having the fountain of youth in a bottle.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Martin, tell them how they can get this amazing product.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well now hold on, that's when I'm telling a story, when I'm telling my life, okay, that's true.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hey, you didn't, hey, I wish we would have had, you know, you would have had the camera on me when you said, no, he bought me a $16 ring to put on my finger when I was going.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But hey, let me ask you this, in all truthfulness.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] She gave me the little blink blink blink. What was our first date? What was our first date?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What was our first date? You expect, hey, you expect me to remember back that long ago? You were walking down the side of the road, eh? Oh, that wasn't our first date.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I knew I looked great in it, okay? Hey, you gotta touch your stuff when you look good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it was over. She was in love. Oh, she had, immediately. Okay, look.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I should have knew right then I was in trouble. In trouble? Yeah. Okay. Cause everybody, they, I, you know, I introduced her. Okay. And they didn't, they didn't call her Christine. What'd they call her? It was Mrs. Robertson.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, no, I'm serious. I should've knew. Hey, you better get away.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, no, no, no. And look, people are always saying that God has not got a sense of humor. Oh yeah, he does. Cause the way, okay. It's, it's April fool's day. Okay. And I come to pick her up where she's working and what was your best friend?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Angie, Angie, Angie, her best friend. Okay. So I come in this, it's April fool day. Yeah. So I said, Hey Angie, guess what happened? And she said, what? I said, man, Christine go get married.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, she's just clad down running around telling everybody, yeaah! And then I laughed and I said,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hey, it's just about like sleeping only. One of them. What is it? Luminous clouds?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] She had been told by the expert doctors, okay, you know, by a few of them, that she would never have a child of her own.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, no, cause that's why I said it about our first child, Tracy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, and our next door neighbor Sharon, and Chuck, her husband.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They are our best friends that have got a daughter named Christine. Okay. It's which lived at our house. We couldn't like our doors because the first time we did it, she screamed bloody murder. But anyway, we're sitting at the table one night and, uh, she cooks spaghetti.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We can all agree on that. Anyway, Sharon said, have you told him? You know, and I said, tell me what? You know, she says she's been having morning sickness.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, I said, why didn't you tell me? She said, oh, I got the flu or bug or something. You know, and Sharon said.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, and she keeps saying, hey, I done told you all the experts have told me I'll never have a child of my own. I said, yeah, but what did I tell you the night you finally said yes? You know, I said, I know somebody.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] She said, sure you do. And I said, I'm telling you, if we're meant to have children, we'll have children.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So this goes on for a couple of weeks, you know, this deal, you know, and then finally Sharon just has always been, she's pregnant. You need to take her to the doctor.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I don't have a car. Sharon and Chuck's got a car and I've made a deal with them. It needs some work and they didn't have any money to fix it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I said, well, hey, take it and fix it and I'll pay for it. And then if I need to borrow it, you know, let me borrow your car.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So look, Sharon's the one that finally said, hey, come on, I'm going to take her. Since you won't, I'm going to drive her to the doctor. So I come back and tell her, she said, uh, I am pregnant.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I gotta embellish it a little bit. I gotta strut my stuff, so to speak.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, no, no, no, that's the funniest part about it. We're best friends, okay, so we're always in and out each other's house. Yes. Okay, and we was always, all four of us are crazy. So we was always clowning around.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, so I go to work one day and they, as soon as I come in, first start says, uh, you need to go see the full bird colonel reports to the colonel.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I'm going to E4 at the time. I said, what have I done that I gotta go see the full bird colonel for? I said, Tom, what are you talking about? He said, hey, it's all over the post. Go see the full bird.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I go in there, had attention report, you know, Vexus Robertson report and Sarah had ordered, you know. He said, sit down young man. I said, what is the problem? You know, he said, you and your neighbor, y'all are wife swapping and that's, that's the problem.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I said, excuse me? He said, oh yeah, it's all over the boat.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. Yeah. Yo and Chuck, Chuck, I mean, Sharon said no. And Chuck turned to Christine and said, what about you? She said, yeah. You know, and I said, well, I'll see you later, Sharon. You know, so we was always doing this kind of crazy stuff and Hey, they took it for real. He got called in the same morning and told me, Hey,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Y'all are fixing to lose a strap over this wife swapping deal.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, cause me and him both said, hey, look, I love my wife. My wife has just become pregnant.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What y'all heard is just crazy people were best friends for crying out loud. We love each other. Don't joke on balconies. Yeah, don't joke on balconies in the neighborhood. Cause hey, then it's going to come back on you. Big time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh no no, so this is, this is Sharon and Chuck.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They drive their car behind the hospital. They know what room she's in.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sharon gets on top of the car, slivers through the window.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, you know, I told her, I said, it's beautiful, y'all need to go with me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay. So we go down there and I said, well, we go, we're going to go me and the guy, German guy that I'm hunting with. We're going hunting.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So they said, well, we may, we may, me and Tracy may walk and just, you know, enjoy the beauty of God's creation.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, good grief. Yeah. Okay. Anyway, yeah, we had a part. Okay. But anyway, we come back from hunting this dark. Well, the cabins.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They done walked by the thing four or five times, okay. They're lost. We didn't know that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, so it takes us about, oh, two and a half. Five hour.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Five hours? No, one hour worth, and don't remember this right. Anyway, okay, we finally find them. Everybody's safe, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I didn't know Dana, Scott, and Tracer was there. He was just in panic.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well Scott, you know, he's got a wild imagination.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Come on man. I throw 90% of the time I throw them in the garbage.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, no, that's why, and we've told this story. That's why I call my daughter.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When she said that, I come home Friday and she said, you know what you ought to do? And I said, what?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] She said, you need to call your brother and tell him you need to come work for him. We'll go back to Louisiana.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I immediately got on the phone and called my daughter and told her, I think your mom's dying of something. And she said, well dad, what are you talking about?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. And I said, well, she just told me, Hey.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Out of the blue. You know what you need to do? You need to go call your brother and we'll move down to Louisiana. And she said, you need to take her to the hospital right now and get her checked out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because we retired in 93. I lived in Alabama for what? A while.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And driving the superintendent of the golf course in Huntsville, Louisiana nuts, asking him, hey, can I hunt and can I fish on the golf course? Cause there was deer all over this thing and there was ducks all over it and there was fish all in the ponds.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This, no, no, no, no, this is why I tell people when I'm out speaking, you need to look at this crazy old man. I am living proof.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We are doing the most amazing things with the most unlikely people.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Here's one thing that I would look at, okay, and it may not even be available, okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay. And find out, Hey, is this your ideal or someone else is manipulating both of us?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I left, I left to go to work and then here I'm been told by lawyers.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This sounds like someone else is in his business to me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Especially since he's, he's figured he's married to the woman he's gonna spend the rest of his life with.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, here's the thing. Okay. And I'll even go further on that. You need to have the decency.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] To confront this young man, okay, if you got issues and you want out of it, cause you don't need to get divorced, get it an old, but at least have the decency to do it face to face and look, bring a witness with you, both of you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But that would be where I would stop it. And then I will say this as far as us four concerned, we will say a prayer to the almighty. Okay. This is, this is handle in a way that is beneficial to you and that young lady you're married to.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, and, and go and face to face and then, you know, what happens after you discuss it face to face with a third party neutral party, you know, is up to good Lord.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Now that he doesn't have any bells, cause I got rid of all them, his plate and his fork. When he's finished eating, bang, bang, bang, bang.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I told him, never ever ever do that to me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So we meet, he meets there. We go to this restaurant, which is upstairs. And it's an Italian restaurant that we've gone to lots of times. And it had a jukebox on each booth.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] For some reason, every song I played had to do with saying goodbye.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And after six months, if you still feel the same way, then I'll come. Because I figured once he got home, that'd be it. Only he wasn't willing to leave me behind.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We went to the judge first because Massachusetts had a five day waiting period.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so he waived it because he was a veteran and getting out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When I told him last night I was gonna come, he said, and you'll get to tell it how it is.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I had the car, so it was a three. Well, Cody and.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Her name. Yeah. Cody and roommate and roommate, um, decided to set me up with some guys. And after I got tired of fighting off hands, I told Cody no more. And he said, describe to me the man you would be interested in dating. So I said, sure. Let's go the whole.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I said he needed to have dark hair.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And he's walking in the parking lot and I'm saying, not this guy, not this guy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I had the best time that night. I will have to admit, he is funny.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes. So he kept me laughing all night.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh no, we had pork chops. Pork chop. Alright, I cooked those, no problem with that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I never had cooked rice in my life. In fact, I don't even eat it. Uh, and I have a good reason for that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Then I go to make the gravy. Well, Kentucky does gravy with milk, not Louisiana guys.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, I cooked the pork chops and the biscuits. You did the rest.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Our first date was though we went to the Christmas party at his company. The Christmas party?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Fort Knox, when he went up to Fort Knox, before I joined him, he already had an appointment for me at the Fertility Clinic. So the first thing you want to do is of course check him and I said there's no reason. So.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's this thing with males that, especially boys, if they wear briefs that are too tight, it kills the sperm.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And that's what had happened to him. So they put him in boxer shorts. Yes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They did surgery because they found out I had scar tissue all in my uterus.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So that was removed as much as they could.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I had one chance in a million, they said, even though with the surgery. So we said, okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We were separated from August to November, no see, May, May to August. And then I joined him in Germany, August. Three months later, I'm six.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I thought it was a flu. I'm not gonna have a baby, so it's flu.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We had gone over to have dinner with Chuck and Sharon.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I hit the front door and right next to it is the bathroom. Smell those tacos and hit that bathroom. So the next day, Sharon took me and at that time we didn't have this early stuff and all that. They had to leave urine in a bottle, you know, in a cup and they would call you the next day.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause it took 24 hours for the rabbit to die. So they said, and so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] She called that afternoon because I wouldn't. I said, Sharon, there's no sense calling. It's going to be negative.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Pull into the parking lot. We're on the fourth floor. Sharon leans out the window and yells, we're pregnant! So everybody in the neighborhood got it the same time he did.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But talking about the kids, it goes even further because when Teresa was born, uh, I had to have a C-section, which turned out to be a very good blessing because the scarring had grown back. It's called Aschmann syndrome.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It had grown back and interwoven into the afterbirth. And if I'd had it normally, I would have bled to death.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Before they could have stopped it. So since the night it's the Syrian, they had it all open. They took as much as they could.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So we asked the doctor, said, what about another one? He said, look, if I had seen her before, I would have said, no way.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He said go for it. He said go for it, but do it within two years.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That was with you. No, he wasn't until Scott started.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, no, he's a, he gets on where he does one thing and he'll do that for a while. Then he'll get.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This was back in the time when the Department of Defense was drawing down.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A lot of people out of the military and then they started in on the federal employees.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, that was well and good, but the federal employees couldn't let the work go. So therefore those who still worked, worked six days a week, 10 hours a day, just to keep up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I started having trouble with my blood pressure and it continually got worse. So my mother had already passed.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So there was no reason to me to stay in Alabama to get closer to Kentucky. So I told him, uhm,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Go to Phil's and start working. I had two stipulations that he did not listen to.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes it is. Number one, I did not want to live next door to Phil. So he was supposed to find a place for us to live before I came.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Trailer. Trailer, right next to Phil and Kay. Uh huh. Right next to Phil and Kay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then, because I did not want to have the Robertsons all in my business, I did not want to go to church at White... White's Ferry Road. White's Ferry Road. Yeah. So he was supposed to find a nice little church.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We know he, you know, exaggerates.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The autograph in there. Oh, you seen, you know about this? I hunted with him this year.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, but you had it on the back. Now there it is.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Them two guys. It's actually gonna be really a good read. It is. Yeah. I'm about halfway through it. Oh, no, no, cause I read about five.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's what Paula said when she, one day, we, uh, during duck season, I had a box of shells, like, you know, it's got a picture of them shells filled up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And she said, no wonder y'all kill some more. Look at all that. I said, alright.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's right, either way. And that's okay. It's okay. I don't...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm gonna go north. He's going north, boys. Arkansas. Curveball. At least he's got the compass pointing north.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh what right? Iowa? Somewhere where? No. No, I should go.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Somewhere around the line, Arkansas line and the Missouri line. Oh, up around real foot, that hole there. You can get to a lot of different fishing places from right there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The only way you can get there is by boat, plane, or mule.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I would move to Florida. Oh yeaah. Down there. Those lights been big carpeting down there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I'm changing it. I've been up in that thing, it moves.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, I get it. Well tell me the difference in this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A well-dressed man on a unicorn or a poorly-dressed man on a bicycle.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're gonna find out that there, well once they start walking and crawling, that there's a lot of stuff that's not high enough.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Eat a goma, right. Says who? Is that a challenge?


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[Assistant] Well, I reckon so. Well, Mac, in case you hadn't noticed, everybody around here is getting long in the tooth. Yeah. Have you noticed that?


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[Assistant] But I have a question for you and all sincerity. So you started hunting with Phil.


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[Assistant] Was anybody in the blind allowed to laugh?


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[Assistant] But, but back in them days, it was serious business.


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[Assistant] It's amazing how much more detailed Mac's stories about Si are than what Si writes about.


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[Assistant] Yeah. Oh man. Oh, so one of my favorite scenes in all the, the duck commander videos is the famous spitting scene where I think it was Mack, Burley, Phil, and who was the other one? Was it Jace?


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[Assistant] That's right. I'm still trying to process Phil in a movie theater. Yeah. Cause it was a dinner. Yeah.


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[Assistant] Willie invited Phil and Kay to his...


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[Assistant] Oh, but if you think about it, it was pure genius. The image, the tough persona.


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[Assistant] Welcome back. Guess what? What? We got a letter in the mail from a little girl named Leah.


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[Assistant] So she sat in that chair, right where Mac's sitting. This is a little girl. She's what? She was what? 11. It was her 11th birthday. They came from Maryland. She wanted.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] To come to West Monroe, Louisiana for her birthday and come to duck commander. Wow. Well, their car got broke down where they ran into a dog, big dog busted up the radiator.


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[Assistant] Went across the street here, my buddy Brad, he's a mechanic. Well, he couldn't get the part in for about three days.


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[Assistant] Long story short, he calls me, he said, look, this little girl from Maryland, she's a hunter. You're not going to believe how good she can blow a duck call. All she want to do is come to documentary for her birthday. They drove all the way from Maryland. So we made her here.


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[Assistant] And get to talking to her and she is sharp as a tag. And then she got that duck call and it was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.


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[Assistant] So, so we, we tried to set up a little duck call competition between her and Si, Si didn't go for it. But, uh, anyway, she sent us a letter and some t-shirts with the university of Maryland and, uh, some hats over there. She said, Hey guys, this is Leah. We're just checking in. I'm sorry. I haven't talked to you in a while.


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[Assistant] After my family watched the podcast, my mama brother wanted to go duck hunting. So we took my brother hunting and hopefully mama can go next season.


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[Assistant] Where she goes on to talk about how many ducks they killed and, uh.


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[Assistant] She says she didn't get a deer, but hopefully she'll get one next year. Daddy bought her a compound bow. But anyways, we get to the end here. Um.


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[Assistant] She said, right now I'm still in Delaware enjoying the outdoors. Thank you again for making my 11th birthday the best. Keep killing those ducks. Exclamation mark. P.S. Congrats Martin on your baby twins on the way. There you go. And P.S.S. Uncle Si.


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[Assistant] Your duck calling is great, I was just pulling your leg.


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[Assistant] Tobacco farmer. Tobacco farmer. From where? From, uh, Tennessee.


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[Assistant] Si, you're actually doing a little bit better since, uh, you met with that doctor.


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[Assistant] So, so listen to this. Now I don't know if you've told this story or not, but me and Cy are coming back from Houston, and we happen to...


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[Assistant] Call a buddy of ours saying, hey meet us at the steak house, we're gonna get us a nice steak before we go home.


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[Assistant] So anyway, he says, uh, you know, guys, since we're here together, I do want to tell you, I've just been struggling with something. My son is engaged to be married and his wife don't know if she can have kids or not, you know.


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[Assistant] And Sy said, that's my story. I convinced a lady to marry me for, it took me 14 hours and he told the whole story. But she, she said, Sy, you're so good with kids. Miss Christine did. She said, I can't marry you because I can't give you kids. I can't have kids. So I said, don't worry. I know somebody. And she was like,


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[Assistant] So now he's got eight grand boys and two kids of his own.


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[Assistant] And so that's what you were telling Sal and Sal said, you know what? I'm going to, I'm going to tell my son this story because they need to hear this.


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[Assistant] You know, so I'm going to tell you, I know you were praying for my wife when she was going through some tests and you guys were too. I really appreciate that. But you know, God is good. Uhm, just when you think things are out of control and, and when you can't control things, it's scary.


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[Assistant] You know, I stopped by a duck commander on my way to Baton Rouge and I sat down with Justin and we had a prayer and.


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[Assistant] Just calm me down, cause I was, I was just so high in anxiety.


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[Assistant] But we got down to, uh, the doctors and did a bunch of tests and they said, your wife's fine, she's great, everything's wonderful, she's healthy as a horse. I just, like, you know, I mean.


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[Assistant] Yup, he seeks around, seeking whom he can destroy.


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[Assistant] You may, you may get dough pop though, cause I was sitting right there buying it.


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[Assistant] A yippie. Because he ain't picking the dogs out. That's right, a yippie. Missy is. And he hates dogs.


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[Assistant] It's just like, Stone, he, he hates humans. Yea.


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[Assistant] Those dogs were amazing. They let them out and they would sneak up on them quail. And then look, they just freeze when they get close enough. They just lock up right where the quail are.


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[Assistant] He's like, he's like the guy with that kill switch, Martin is.


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[Assistant] So, I was mowing Saturday, remember I was telling y'all I got some, uh,


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[Assistant] Got some sparks from cutting a piece of metal with a grinder.


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[Assistant] Oh yeaah, it's, I'm a regular Godwin.


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[Assistant] So I'm riding my mower back up to the house, I'm through mowing, and something has flown or crawled up into my shorts.


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[Assistant] That's a lonely feeling here. It's either a lizard or a field mouse. Oh no. Oh, oh bitch. Oh, it's something that's. I was thinking insect. No. No, we're talking about something with.


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[Assistant] My wife is outside cooking and she's looking and the mower's going one way and I'm jumping off the mower going the other way.


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[Assistant] I've got a great wall. I've got a death grip right down here on something.


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[Assistant] That's alive. And I'm taking my shorts off and running toward my wife so she can help me.


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[Assistant] He's out in the yard doing drawers again. So. She said that's usually Saturday night, not Saturday morning. I go inside, I leave the shorts there because something's dead and whatever it is, but I don't want to. Are you sure?


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[Assistant] Yes, we went back, she said, let's go find out what it was. There's nothing in my pants. It's gone. It has crawled off. And she said, that was a mouse. A mouse got up in your shorts.


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[Assistant] It's probably about this big, but it was squishy.


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[Assistant] It was, it was squishy and movin'. I mean...


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[Assistant] No, I'm going with a lizard. Cause I clamped down so hard.


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[Assistant] Clearly he didn't. I didn't kill him. He crawled away from me. I had a death grip on him.


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[Assistant] And when I got them shorts off and slammed them on the ground and took off running inside, my wife inspected me. She's like, you're fine. Go back out there and finish. Put your pants back on. Put your pants back on. Go back and finish the yard. She wasn't impressed with my rodeo riding, shorts throwing. No.


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[Assistant] No, no more messing with metal and grinders without ear protection.


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[Assistant] Uh, I guess nest in the ground, how they come up out of there. And he was like, I'm fixing to teach them a lesson.


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[Assistant] What are you getting? Gasoline? What are you going to do? He's like, no, no, I'm fixing to shoot him with my shotgun just


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[Assistant] Well, I'm with you, Arnaud. Anyway, so they sfly at him and sting him in his nose. Look, he looks like the Elephant Man.


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[Assistant] You're never gonna drift to a certain goal. You're not gonna drift there. You have to be purposeful and tell them what you want.


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[Assistant] Well yeaah, as long as you address it, I mean, you can make it light hearted.


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[Assistant] You can make it very serious. I would go with a light hearted. I'd say, you know what? We've been friends for a long time. Let's take a next step. What do you say? No, no.


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[Assistant] On, let's, me and you get married and be together for the rest of our lives. How about this, Jace blew it. I don't know if y'all know this.


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[Assistant] When he proposed to Missy, he buried the ring down.


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[Assistant] To a pot, a pot of dirt. Yeah. And she was like digging and keep digging, keep digging, keep. Finally.


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[Assistant] Did you put this in your book? What book? Oh, you hadn't let anybody know yet. Huh?


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[Assistant] And we're back in the Duck Call Room. Martin is on vacation.


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[Assistant] We have been, you know, they've dropped the ball. They've dropped the ball. We have a special guest from Duck Dynasty Unashamed.