[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wait, your motorcycle helmet has a transition lens in it? Transition Pfizer. That's pretty awesome.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What? Yeaah. After four years you don't respect somebody enough to like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is a DiGiorno not more expensive than $5?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So like the, the handmaiden sits there with her legs in the air, and uhm,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The dude kinda has his hands on his hips and can only kinda do a little...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, it's the, I think the metaphors are a little heavy-handed, like, it's not clever at all. I think they're more relevant than ever. No, they're extremely relevant, it's just very heavy-handed. And if it were clever, nobody would get it. You're staring at, is it Elizabeth Moss?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know, but half of the show is just staring at her face.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What happened to Skinner and the Simpsons there? That's Spike Spiegel.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, Gassy Breagle was there, but I don't think the execution was.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, the Atomatone wins easily, my vote.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I hate when I download sound effects and there's 10 seconds of nothing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Man, everyone's pissed about Diablo Immortal, but I'm here to tell you the conspiracy theories.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Are wrong! That's right. Uh, you can still be pissed off though. The gamers have risen up on this corporate shilling bowl of dude soup.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Chris Miller. So yes, uh, apologies, had to kind of wrangle control there for a little bit, but James, you were saying, Christopher Hemsworth, buddy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This podcast is brought to you by three sponsors, uh, Blue Apron Hymns and Stitch Fix. You can catch this week's menu, get your first three meals for free at Blue Apron dot com slash soup. Uh, you can get a trial month of Hymns for just five dollars while supplies last at FourHymns dot com slash dude.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, so thank you, sponsors. Uh, first up, brief announcement.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is gonna be a bite-sized dude soup. Really gonna aim for it to be an hour under. So we'll see, I got a little timer going. I'll race ya. Yeah, see that?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, I'm gonna do both those things at the same time. To wit, boy, people are mad about Diablo. So, brief recap of what happened.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, there was a tweet a while ago. Let's check the date. This is sort of the long-minding lead-up to it. August 8th, with the community manager by the name of Brandy Campbell.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] She posted a video basically saying, hey everyone, you guys should all get super excited about what's coming up for Diablo multiple projects. That ended up being true to a fashion, uh, they since announced Diablo Switch, and now Diablo for mobile phones, which is Diablo Immortal.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, there are some other rumors, there's a rumored Netflix project, there's a rumored Diablo 4, which has all but been confirmed. Blizzard still hasn't said in words, we are working on this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But of course they are. Uh, uh, there was also a, uh, so, I think Blizzard sort of felt the rumbles, they saw the water rippling in the cup, and they were like, well shit. They posted a blog article on October 17th saying, uh, basically, Diablo 4's not gonna be at BlizzCon, please don't get your hopes up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Now, we hit BlizzCon, uh, there's the opening ceremony, this is when Blizzard does all their big announcements. They announce a couple things, they save Diablo Mortal for the finale. The big announce at the end.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, yes, so not only did you have somebody at Blizzard saying get really excited about Diablo, and then another announcement that was only in a blog saying maybe not Diablo 4, everyone's expecting huge news. Boom, it's, it's...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The, uh, one of the, like, core franchises now on a phone, uh, that stokes a lot of gamer fear about microtransactions and EAification.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, it's weird to balance the two, right? There's, I think, a very justifiable, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Disappointment from video game players who wanted a core, a core title, especially at BlizzCon, which is speaking to the core Blizz, Blizzard audience. It's a bit of a mismatch to think that they would be excited about a more casual facing mobile title.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I forgot to introduce everybody for one, but I'll let that one die. Number two, I actually do need to disclose something. I am currently dating and in a long-term relationship with somebody who works at Blizzard. And not only that, but specifically works on Diablo. So take that for what you will. I am. I'm gonna get all those yens.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, they actually don't have any mana set yet. Anyway, disclosure over. Uh, I am, I theoretically have bias and skin in this particular game. However, what I'm about to talk about should be somewhat removed from that. Uh, so the, the conspiracies that trickled in after the fact are always really interesting, cause kinda like you guys were saying,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] People tend to find a narrative that supports that even if it's not there at all.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, there was a YouTube trailer for Diablo Immortal. It was made unlisted. Another one was uploaded. People saw that as an attempt to sort of restart the negative launch that that trailer had, because it is bad. It's getting downloaded horribly.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, on top of that, using SocialBlade and some other tools, people found that the number of dislikes on the video was apparently decreasing, so dislikes disappeared from the video.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, and then also some people reported, reporting that their negative comments were getting deleted or removed.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So all of this creates this narrative that Blizzard is, for some reason, like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Blizzard is stupid enough to think that they can control the narrative about Diablo and misrepresent Diablo Immortal as being successful.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it was like, somewhere in the realm of 600,000 or something like that. And then it went down by like 10,000. So everyone was like, oooh, Blizzard! Blizzard is talking to YouTube and they're in concert together.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So one of the things that, uh, and like, a lot of people reported about this, about how Blizzard was manipulating views, this is, I'm a little disappointed at some of the headline writing, because it assumes positives when they're not there. So Yongye is a reporter that I usually like a lot, but he put up this video, Blizzard is shadily deleting dislikes and comments on Diablo Immortal's YouTube uploads.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This whole situation sort of belies a misunderstanding about how YouTube works. Uhm, and we've been on YouTube for a long time. It is more complicated than you think. So this video has a view counter on it. 450,000 views, right? That must mean 450,000 people clicked, played, and watched it. That's not the case.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Mostly because YouTube has to deal with a lot of people trying to exploit or manipulate their system. And this is all visible in public support documents that YouTube has published. So I did some digging around in there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And what I saw was on a likes and dislikes report, uh, YouTube listed these.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The point being there that views, likes, dis- and dislikes are all verified, so they're behind, and then once, once YouTube goes back, they might adjust views or dislikes or likes up and down automatically, depending on where those sources came from. So, the trouble here that, is in acknowledging that,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It implies that somebody from the audience was downvote spamming that video. And I don't want to do that because gamers are all really sore about being told that they're entitled and whiny after all this. And I don't think that that's necessarily true. Death threats, obviously not allowed and totally uncalled for, but...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't want to say that that's what was happening, that the community got so upset that one or two individuals decided to downvote spam the video. That does seem like it is what happened though. As opposed to Blizzard contacting YouTube, both of them getting together and saying, we have to remove 5,000 dislikes from this video. There's just no way they would do that. Yeah, so that's when these conspiracies start to break down a little bit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We've also been told by YouTube directly that likes and dislikes are one of the least important factors in a video's, like, ranking on YouTube. It's nice for the uploader to get a bearing on how the community's reacting, and that's certainly how it's being used now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But in terms of videos getting recommended on YouTube or placement and search, like and dislike has very little to do with it because it's so mercurial, uh, it's, what's the word, it's up to the whims of the masses.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's how it never changes. Delicious meals you can prep from home with Blue Apron. That was ace. Nice. Nice job.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, uh, Blue Apron is a meals by mail service. Essentially, uh, they will send you pre-portioned, pre-packaged ingredients and a little recipe card with instructions on how to prepare. Uh, I've been a Blue Apron customer ever since they started wrapping this podcast for about three years now, and my journey has taken me so far.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] All the way into downtown Culver City, uh, to the, what is it, the new school of cooking? I took a knife skills class because, uh, I,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I, just in terms of doing it, I've developed my own knife skills and most of them are alright, some of them are not. Uh, one of the things that I learned, not only is like knife grip, you don't hold the handle like a caveman, you have to pinch the blade with your


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I will educate you further about how my knife skills are coming along in future episodes, because I know that that's why people listen to this podcast.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, yeah, you put your palm on it and then you just rock it up and down. If anyone's ever doing the like audible tap tap tap tap tap, they're just doing their blade. That's wrong. Also slap chopping garbage. Huh? Slap chop garbage. Oh really? For onions? Bad. How are you supposed to sharpen a slap chop? That's what I wanna know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] On one level I get that this announcement represents a total violation of everything Blizzard's supposed to stand for. On the other hand, fuck man.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it's, it's tough. I don't know. I've seen a lot of people say like, and this is not to discount because I do agree that it was a bad move and handled poorly. Also the fact that there wasn't an immediate game plan for how to deal with it also speaks to the fact that they should have known.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Game companies do listen. They listen to money, and they listen to sentiment. They really do. So,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] By all means, make your voice heard, but be civil and respectful. It's okay to say that this fucking sucks and was done poorly, but...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When you start threatening it, then you get that wash of, well you guys are just entitled babies and why should we listen to you?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, show about dudes being doodly. Uh, HIMS is a telemedicine service, meaning that they will connect you to real doctors through the internet. And that way you can have your, uh, your consultations online, uh, your prescriptions done online. There are a couple of real world factors, like they make you, uh, swear that you've been to the doctor in the last year, depending on what your, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do you know whether or not you're going in for hair loss or erectile dysfunction treatments? They will make you, uh, swear to some other things too, like having your blood pressure taken. But essentially they can, uh, fill prescriptions through the mail. So you don't have to, uh, wait in line at a pharmacy or anything like that. Or if you have an existing prescription, you can transfer it to him, have that prescription filled through the mail.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Thing that I like is that it's, it's not supplements, like it's actual medicine prescribed by actual doctors. Uh, now I know that


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I know that that stuff can be a little contentious to people, especially if they don't live in the garbage pile of medical services that is the United States of America. Uh, so we would never ask you to try and circumvent your doctor or any medical practice that serves your health. Uh, the thing is, HIMSS can make that process simpler and not, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Not, uh, what am I looking for? Not invalidate any, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Dedication you have to your own health. Uh, but you can get a trial month of hems today for just five dollars while supplies last. Uh, you have to see the website for full details on that. That website is forhims.com slash dude. That's f-o-r-h-i-m-s dot com slash dude for a full trial for just five dollars. So thank you hems for the sponsorship.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm still getting my, still getting my cards. I fall behind every time I travel. Those, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] All my shampoo and stuff just builds up, so I gotta take a few months off.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Supposed to take every day. I forget. My hair's gonna fall out. Oh god. Oh god.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What else to say about this? We don't have to talk about Blizzard anymore. They've had it hard enough. It's a bummer though. I get it. I get it and I feel it. I'm a huge Blizzard fan. I've played every


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But, uh, I've liked them all, for one reason or another. And...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This one I'm like, yeah I'll play it, but it's definitely not the kind of Blizzard experience that I'm used to having. And in that way it's like, I don't know if you hang out with somebody all the time and you guys get into fucking...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You guys get into some fucking mess and then he's like, you know what, today I just want to go to church. And you're like, what happened dude? I thought we were cool. Yeah. When are we gonna like, get in the car and, I don't know, go hit stuff?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's super good. I started my barbarian last night. Oh, what was her name? Postruction, that's right. Nice.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was a mess. It was the real money auction house and the inability to log in. Had to be always online. Which, to be frank, in retrospect, and I wish more people appreciated it at the time, the fact that they made a Diablo where you could sell items for real money was fucking awesome. At least the vision of it, the scope of it. I mean, doesn't that lock you out of items? They, like, so that's the problem.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because when you give a game like that to people who play games all the time, they're going to mine it. Uh, so Blizzard had to find a way to make that real money.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I just love the concept that you can play a game that is like real life treasure hunting.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, some World of Warcraft was like that, if you got special items you could sell them, against terms of service. I guess. I did like that they tried to wrap that into the game proper.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Also Diablo 3 is sold, I think, like 30 million units. So they keep, they keep, it's like Skyrim, they keep relaunching it because it sells crazy every time. I bought it every time. Yeah, it's a good game.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh man, you wanna talk about like, of all the blunders, Blizzard for some reason did not buy Diablo4.com.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, everyone does it. They just buy it through some firm in New Jersey. Like, every time you do a whois on a game domain, when it gets registered, it just pops up to something on the East Coast. Because everyone does that. That's how you avoid leaks.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I got SirLar.com, so oh, it's just a bunch of tie now? Uhm, I remember- Is or isn't yours. No, oh, this is AlanaPeirce.com. Oh. We're about to send a lot of traffic our way. Yeah. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cool. Woah, that's cool. Is this like Lori Mipsum but for Thailand?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Maybe that means something else in Thai.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause that's how that worked. It was a bunch of gold farmers that would just hack people's accounts, sell everything, and transfer it to another account. Oof.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's 16 digits of your credit card account. Those are good buzzfeed variables.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, you don't like buy enough stuff online that you just have your credit card numbers memorized?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I used to do you. Paul. I don't either, no. I, the coolest I ever felt, and I haven't reclaimed this, but one day I will, is I was in high school ordering PC parts online.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And by the time I got to my RAM, I already had all the numbers memorized, so. That is cool.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, what I, what I think would happen, and as I, so I had to wait in line forever, I promise this will tie together. Sure. As a young child, in some video game store, coolest I've ever been, uh, was waiting to play Ninja Turtles on Game Boy, really liked Ninja Turtles, had to wait a long time, finally got up there, had to pee though, there was a line behind me, fuck you guys.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My theory was if I just let a little burst go, just a little drip.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That no one will notice, it'll wick away, the air will dry it, and then I can let another little drip. But by the time the first drip comes out, it's just all better off. Yea, that's the worst idea I've ever heard in my life. Hey, when you're panicking and you're trying to- What's the valve open?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I'm here to tell you that PC gaming is not dead. This is just a quick throw away. Uh, our friend of the show, even though I've never met him or talked to him directly ever, Wario64 has tweeted that Sunset Overdrive has been listed on Steam database, so please play Sunset Overdrive is what I'm telling you all.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, well speaking of sunset over driver, you can customize your clothes, something, something. Stitch Fix is sponsoring this podcast. Uh, Stitch Fix is also a, a blank by mail service. Essentially, it is a customized fashion by mail service. It's actually pretty cool.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, when you go sign up for an account, you, uh, you just can fill out a little questionnaire, uh, showing all the, like, fabrics, cuts, uh, patterns that you like. And then a stylist will, will be assigned to you. They'll pick out socks, shorts, clothes, uh, pants.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Button-ups, all sorts of clothing to send to you, and then you get five items in a box, and you can try them all on. If you don't like them, return them. If you like them, you can keep them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then, uh, that's how you can, uh, refresh your wardrobe. Uh, I think I'm up, I'm up for some refreshment. We're coming up on winter. I mean, winter in California. It's basically like a cool day.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes, slightly longer shorts, mid-shin shorts. And if I pass that note along to my stylist, you can bet I'll be getting some clam diggers before long.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But yeaah, you can buy them whenever you want, or you can schedule them. I kinda like the idea that you're not locked into a subscription if you sign up for it. You can just try it once, if it's not for you, that's cool. Try it once, maybe you find it's a little too expensive to do that often. Then you can be like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, uh, Mr. Hollywood over here, and just get it every three months or so. Uh, the styling fee is $20, but that is applied to any article of clothing you choose to keep. So, if you send everything back, there's a $20 fee involved, but if you keep anything, it counts towards that. So you can get a free pair of socks out of it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You get started now at StitchFix.com slash Dude Soup to get an extra 25% off if you keep all items in your box. Once more, that's StitchFix.com slash Dude Soup to get started today.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Thank you Stitch Fix for the sponsorship and for the classy button-ups I'm sure to have soon. Uh, alright.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This, this is a, uh, this bears mentioning, I think, only because it kind of, it predicates an interesting conversation. So this was on variety.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is a bit older, but there was a website that leaked some documents about Red Dead 2. And something happened. Something dangerous happened.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In the meantime, they did, they announced that, so this is the quote, the follow up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, it's interesting because games, journalism.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] People who take it seriously like to think that that sphere is protected under the fourth estate, uhm, which... It's not. It's not. Theoretically, so...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So real quick, and then I have a bit of a thoughtable little, little, little potpourri for you. So the fourth estate is this idea that the fourth estate is the fourth of three other estates that are, that are powerful in society and thus deserve some amount of legal protection.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Though it is not formally recognized as part of a political system that wields significant indirect social influence, the derivation of the term fourth estate


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Arises from the traditional European concept of the three estates of the realm, the clergy, the nobility, and the commoners.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So that's, yes, exactly. That's kind of, that's what I find so fascinating about this, is that this is just a website leaking property of another company.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Nobody benefits from that, aside from some video gamers getting information before another company wanted to release it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I wonder, maybe you guys can think of one, is there a situation in games reporting


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When it does provide a social good or has the potential to influence political framing of an important topic.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, one, one that happened pretty recently is exposing poor work conditions at game development studios. I think that is something that is protected by the fourth estate. So when Kotaku runs their, their, you know, expose on Rockstar Games, if Rockstar Games threatened a lawsuit over that,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That would cross a serious line. Yeah, they wouldn't.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Boy, you had the full experience. It was like a venom in your asshole.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, Activision blacklisted him for it. Everyone got mad at Activision, so they got un-blacklisted for it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But that is a circumstance where like, yeaah, they put out a lot of like screenshots and plot summaries and stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well there's, so there's a, if you, if you really buy into it emotionally, there is a cool aspect of being like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like if you, if you and your friend are like super Pokemon fan, you're like, my uncle works for Nintendo, I know what the new Pokemon's gonna be. Absolutely.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But this is, yea, this isn't like making that into a business of like whispering to the hundreds of thousands of people through a blog all the little secrets you hear because you have enough viewership to get invited to events and you overhear stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know, the tone changes even though the spirit is still kinda there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like making that leap to me is where the difference between journalism and just seeing something and talking about it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So if you're a journalist, you see something and you're like, hold on, let me talk to all the parties involved and hear what they have to say and see if that produces a new narrative that I by myself could not conceive of.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's like, it's kind of the modern paparazzi. You wanna get, you wanna get Chris, well no, he's dead. What is it, you wanna get Kid Rock at LAX, stuff in his, what did you say, Chris Farley? Uh, Cornell for some reason. I don't know why that's the first celebrity that popped into my head. That's strange. Very good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, I think you can make a case for games journalists to like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Instead of, so I've seen this happen a lot anecdotally of going to like press events and there are people who badger


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like either people who are showing them demos or developers, they're just like, they're always angling on something as opposed to just...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's, that's the social good of uh, I, I am...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, yeah, I'm covering this in a way to promote positive and inclusive representation. Right.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's a value in that too. Not that I, there's value in it. I think it, well.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Also true. Sunset Overdrive even had a little, man, wrapping it all back together. Sunset Overdrive had like a cheeky little tweet. I remember they were like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it turns out it's not that hard. And there was like a woman avatar wearing assassin clothing, like running on walls and stuff. Oh, the best they did was Saints Row. He plays a big old woman. Yeah. Yeah. Large lady. Saints Row the Third. It was like a hayash that was basically like, what game would you play as overweight people?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright James, I think you're gonna like the reigning champion. Good. Uh, so this is, this is a gentleman undertaking the ultimate Pokemon battle.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He, he provided the, uh, the website he uses. He uses, like, it's not...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like straight official game art, but it is sort of like concept art.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And he says he only uses rule 34 when it's nearly impossible to actually come to a Pokemon.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, he's up to 237. Hit him on top. I mean, that's tough. Like, you're gonna have to work on your grouping.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He says, Venomoth, coughing, and, uh, areodose have been the worst so far. Grelith and Ditto have been the easiest.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Guzzlord? Oh, Kartana, that's gonna be an easy one. Look at that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Nonstop November. Genderless. As Killset said in chat. It's egg-cycled as one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Also dedication, uh, completely skips quillfish.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So it's kind of like transformers. Usually there's one part that doesn't move, like the seat, so people don't get ground up. I imagine it's like that, the animals just like, kind of like the fly mutating around your dick.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What is it? Uh, Ultimate Pokemon Battle? Or Battles? Ultimate Poke Battle. Oh, Ultimate Poke Battle. Yeah, there you go.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The ultimate mall ninja. The original mall ninja. So this is, uh, this is a bit of a super internet throwback. Uh, quote, This is a collection of the wisdom posted on the internet by a guy calling himself Gecko45. It all started back in the halcyon summer of 2001, and it posts have created a certain urban legend that many refer to as the mall ninja.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] However, I went looking for the original Glocktalk thread, and found that it's no longer archived. For a time it was mirrored at malninja.com, but sadly the site is now down. So there was a forum called Glocktalk, because malninjas love glocks, uhm, and there were a series of posts by Gecko,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'll just, I'll just read one of them. It's very, very long. So there's many weeks of material here in case it happens to win, but here's how it all starts.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Last year I made the chance to trust my life on the street to a second chance body armor.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I got the level 2A because it stops most rounds, plus I got the trauma plate for the front. What scares me is that, although I can fit an extra trauma plate in the front, I cannot fit a second one in the back.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] As of late, I've taken to duct taping a second trauma plate to the area of my back where the heart and vital organs are located. Then I put my vest on.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Here is the questions. The duct tape solution, though tactically sound, is hot and painful to remove. I would like to go to the single plate solution in back. What I am worried about is repeated hits to that area with .3 out 8 ammunition. I have high risk security job and I fear that I would be the target for repeated long distance shots to my back.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] One poster responded, quote, Okay, so, a lot of people were like, where do you work that you're going to take multiple sniper rounds to the back?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, quote, I do not understand the joke or the Rambo. I am at a high-risk job. It is not the Mall of America, but I'll tell you what it's no Podunk Mall either. I am a responsible citizen who has made the choice to carry at all times. I defend others. If something happens at the mall, then I would be the hero, not those of you who are making fun of me for no reason.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes, I'm not a green beret, but guess what? Neither are you, and unlike you, I have to face unruly shoppers every day. My real problem is that unlike Elio? Leo?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I have enemies because of my job. They may have access to high powered rifles. My job starts and ends at the same time every day. Although I use four rotating routes to drive to and from work, I am still vulnerable during the walk to and from my car.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Also, someone said that my tac team doesn't get training. Not true! We meet at the range every night and shoot 400 rounds each through weapons that closely resemble our duty setup.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We also practiced unarmed combat. I am a master of three martial arts, including ninjutsu, which means I can wear the special boots to climb walls. I don't think any of you are working as hard as I am to be prepared. I asked a serious question about tactical armor, and I wanted a serious response. If you wanna laugh at somebody, try laughing at the sheep out there who go to the mall unarmed, trusting in me to stand guard over their lives like a god.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Somebody pointed out that 400 rounds a night would come close to $30,000 a year.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, so. It's like he just said a random number. That sounded impressive. Yeah, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, those are the opening posts from Gecko45.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, who at that point then disappeared from GlockTog, but then popped up on a different, a different forum later. Uh, huh. So.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This, this gentleman's description of his life and times.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, real quick, chat has educated that, uh, LEO stands for Law Enforcement Officer.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, you were a true American hero, if you serve in the military. And I guess some people- That's why it's so gross. Either because they have medical conditions preventing them from doing it, or because their cowards, uh, don't.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, that was straight up porn. Uh, time for some dude soup closing announcements. Uh, first up, we're going to be at Extra Life this weekend. So tune into that. Receipt.com slash live, I presume. Oh, hold on. We'll also be mirroring it on Funhaus TV. Cool.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes, AfaMillennial's got me with the image memes. Or if you could throw that up for me, please. I don't know if that's the original, but it's certainly one of the classics. Uh, yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Minor changes. But thank you for watching. Uh, if you're watching live, we've got the post-show coming right up. But aside from that, really appreciate your involvement. Uh, please leave a comment telling us how bullshit we are for shelling for Diablo. I would appreciate that. I don't think we should. I think we did that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well anyway, I have to admit, I biffed it a little bit on the dude soup challenge this week. I was supposed to try to jack off to a picture of my own dick.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But time got away from me. You didn't do it. I didn't do it, but I will. I will.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Did PewDiePie just trip into another giant pile of anti-Semitism or has the liberal West Coast wine-swilling SJW media machine put out another hit on our hero Felix? The answer may or may not shock you depending on how often you go to 4chan. Uh, we cracked this conspiracy wide open on this thoroughly uncucked bowl of dude soup. Oh boy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, I just did. But all of our things get compiled into a group, so I don't know if that's-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, just that way, like, we were, we were on the judges panel for the game awards, so, you can thank us for Octopath Traveler not winning anything. I was legit, legit surprised.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Imagine, imagine getting to the top of the Illuminati. Like you get in the room, you're in that Mr. Robot room with all the people in suits. Yep. And then one day you find out that there's another super Illuminati. There's an uber Illuminati.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And go to StitchFix.com slash DudeSoup to get an extra 25%, uh, when you keep all items in your box. Hear more about those sponsors later. Start my timer here. Boom. Alright, we're on the clock now, boys. Fill my box.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, uh, yeaah, PewDiePie is back in it. Back in the headlines. Uh, tearing it up again, destroying our nation's youth and filling them with all sorts of terrible thoughts. Uh, so here's, here's the long and winding narrative. There is, there is a battle between PewDiePie and T-Series to be the most subscribed channel on YouTube.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So subscribe to PewDiePie has kind of become, it's like late game meme territory at this point. And PewDiePie has actually benefitted from it. He's getting another chunk of subs.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He, uhm, in, in one of the videos that was problematic, like wide all caps Unicode problematic, uh, he, uh, he talked about how he's, he's waiting for T-Series to pass him because he has a video ready, and he keeps almost uploading it, but then, like, he gets another wave of subs, anyway.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, so that delivers us to the video that caused all the problems. Uh, he has a satirical YouTube news show called Pew News, which is pretty funny, pretty edgy. Uhm, at the end of it, he covered himself, the Subscriber PewDiePie meme.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, uh, basically said, stop, stop it, I'm, I'm good. Uh, and, and as a kind of a gesture of, of YouTube creator support, he said, I'm gonna shout out all these tiny channels I've been watching recently and try to share the-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So in a pile of, I think, 28 channels that he dedicated 5 minutes of his video to, just kind of iterating through them. A lot of them were like pretty hard meme channels. That's his sense of humor. I don't think it's a secret to anybody. A lot of really intense stuff, not quite like deep web shit, but...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, just funny shit. Uh, a lot of, a lot of stuff from all over the world, from all sorts of creators, one of which was E Semicolon R, uh, who does a lot of video essays and stuff. Uh, apparently has a bit of a reputation for dipping into some anti-Semitic memes and jokes, would use footage from Charlottesville and stuff like that. Great, terrific. And their videos. Terrific. Uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So here's, here's kind of what happened. That, that channel was included in this string of shoutouts. Uhm, people started tweeting about it like, ooh, this is problematic, his fee looks up to his old tricks. And then the headlines start popping out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] All of which context sort of fades away. And that's the thing that I am kind of miffed about about this. So here's our first headline. That's a bitch of a headline.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So on the back of raising a quarter of a million dollars for charity, suddenly the news machine is picking back up. He's back to being an anti-semite.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I guess, uh, so those, that's, uh, before I, I've already kind of tainted it with my own particular, uh, take here. But, it's, it bugs me how all of these articles,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Don't mention any of that context anywhere.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And all those other channels are fine.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I would have said, you have to mention the stuff, put it in at the end. Because I'd be that asshole. Actually, I would mention some of it, second or third paragraph. I would describe the nature of the video, the nature of the mention. Instead, this Verge article,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] By the third paragraph, they're already running off about how bad E semicolon R is and presenting all that evidence. Sure. Without presenting the context in which this YouTube, this video was even mentioned. Uhm, and there's a bit of an update here, a hot update.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Dun dun dun. Oh man. Hit the hot topic button. This has the word hot in it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Omar, uh, actually hit me with that hyper close. And then hot topic me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's some fine work from moderator coming up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But yeaah, I mean, I think what bugs me is truly, at this point, it does feel like it's playing into a narrative.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's what they're trying to do. Yeah, he's been, he's been caught with this in the past a little more egregiously.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm sure he would- I mean, who's gonna say? You're like, what are your thoughts on things? In straight words. No, I hate Jews.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When did it? Hmm, three minutes, Easter into the tent. That was released about, at the time of recording, about an hour ago? Oh wow. There you go.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So yeaah. So this is the next episode of Pew News, where he's running down a lot of stuff, again, including himself, because he's also YouTube news. Uh, gotcha. So, yeaah, I, uh, sorry, I just muted it for the sake of, uh...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When the first time, the first time this happened, and he was like, oh, the media's out to get me, I was like, dude, you fucked up. You put the target on your own back. Now, once that target's there, it don't wash off, is what I'm figuring out, is yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That shit gets clicks. Uhm, interestingly, just for context sake, the, uh, the Pew News that he, uh, accidentally shouted out, uh, the channel that has anti-semitic bits in it, has the most views on his entire channel in the past month. Holy shit. So, uh, turns out being in YouTube conspiracies is profitable.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Um, as usual, uh, not to suggest that he does that stuff on purpose, because this, all the context around this thoroughly implies that it was 100% accidental. He even, oh yeaah, other, other bits.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So it was, uh, there were video essays about the Death Note live action movie. Okay. And that was what PewDiePie was plugging. Uhm, the articles that...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, found a fresh kill, uh, went way deeper on E semicolon R and found a whole lot more problematic stuff way, way down under the surface. Uhm.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Some of it's in his- some of it's in the video content. Yeah. Using, uh, less than savory references, but-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's hard to tell the difference man sometimes between like deep meme culture and actual anti-semitic dog whistling stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sometimes they're the same thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah, or uhm, Kevin Hart. Kevin Hart, yeaah. There was a screenshot just in that video where The Verge misreported a subscriber swell. They initially reported that E! got 150,000 subscribers. It was 15,000.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't want to be condescending here because I'm sure he's way better than I am, but how to play the media game, how to not give them, uh, ammunition, and if you do, make sure that you capitalize on it, so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Instead of like immediately putting out a statement or something like that, he just silently removed it from the description and started working on the follow-up video. Just to like double dip on the accidental stuff. It's funny to see the machine work.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So yeah, it's, uh, I guess, Adam, you were getting close to it, but the question I would pose to you guys is, uh, is it PewDiePie's responsibility as a prominent YouTuber to fully vet all of his associations and make sure they're clean so that the children don't accidentally see a Nazi symbol and thus become corrupted forever?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, or in this case does he get a pass for doing a whoopsie in the right context with the right motivation?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, consider that, not that the two are directly connected, but consider that PewDiePie's missteps, uh, if you want to be kind,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're actually really good for working out too because the foot part is really padded and absorbent. So, uh, it actually, uh, makes running a lot easier. A lot squishier. Uh, they also, they have new tech. We plug this a lot, but, uh, they have a line of silver underwear and shirts that are naturally antimicrobial. Makes them ideal for if you have no work outside or working out or whatever like that. The stank won't get baked into the fabric.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It doesn't mean you won't stink, but the shirt won't once you wash it. So if you have a problem with that, with permastank, get some silvers and see how they work out for you. And they also want you to be comfortable.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So if you don't like your first pair, you can return it, uh, and they'll refund you, or you can keep it, and they'll refund you, my bad. You can keep it, and they'll refund you no questions asked. You don't have to return it. I was totally wrong about that. Just saw the wrong word. So yes, if you don't like your first pair, just keep it, they'll still refund you, and then you're up a shirt. I mean, it may not be one you want.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You can get 20% off everything at mcweldon.com by using our promo code soup. Once more that's mcweldon.com, 20% off using our promo code soup. So thank you mcweldon for the sponsorship.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, but, so I feel like you two guys are kinda hitting on a point that naturally segues us into the next thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No consequences, right? Uh, yeaah, so you guys are kinda hitting on something of...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How to say this, like, both the media picking up on narratives of PewDiePie because of traffic and PewDiePie accidentally getting a little too edgy with his content. I feel like all of this is just a reflection of human nature.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] All the things today that we point and say, that's bad, that's bad, that's bad, to me they're all just kind of like, reflections of how humans act en masse. So, I mean, Trump getting elected and acting like an asshole. It's because...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it's only been, like it's been less than a week. So it is the number one fastest disliked video of all time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sorry, real quick, let me throw this up here. There is a live stream showing the dislikes between the rewind and baby. Uh, we'll click over to it in a minute. Sorry.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think the idea was they were supposed to be in Fortnite land, doing like a survivor style. I don't know what they were going for. Oh, okay, alright, I didn't know that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah, in a larger scale of things, there are a number of YouTube events in 2018 that were completely not mentioned in the YouTube Rewind, presumably because they have less than savory associations. Some of them being, uh, Logan Paul's dumbass suicide video, or the KSI Logan Paul boxing match.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Maybe a reference to it, I mean these are the things that actually do shape YouTube culture as opposed to- But YouTube is a shamed app. As opposed to Ninja, who is a Twitch streamer.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, I just think there's a lot of connectivity. You mentioned like, Felix, oh sorry, PewDiePie, started with a certain brand of humor, a certain brand of comedy content, and he did not...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Kind of like last year's, but to a further degree, is YouTube distancing themselves from all the less than savory things that make the platform what it is? And that's kind of a fundamental betrayal of what the platform's supposed to be about. If it's supposed to be about authenticity, why is YouTube being this inauthentic? Uhm, I mean the answer's clear, because they can't drive away advertisers. They can't advertise on it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But, I mean, man, it's, it's just, I just think it's a turning point. You talked about things getting so big they topple over. I don't know that this is YouTube toppling, but it's certainly, it's certainly YouTube getting away from virtues that it espouses as being core to its platform.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, I, just real quick, uh, before I, before I...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hoist myself by my own petard after claiming how unfairly Felix was treated or whatever. There are some positive things about it that I was impressed. They had the mukbang challenges in there, which is like the eating stuff. It's kinda...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It has been a thing on Twitch for a while, but it's starting to blow up on YouTube. Okay. ASMR, got a nod, cool. Drag culture, great. I like the diversity of creators they're showing from different cultures. I do too. So hey, A plus to that. I mean, I think that...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That is the part of YouTube scrubbing its image that I'm okay with. Uh, the parts that both actually capture what's happening on YouTube and feature a lot of different people. Uhm, but yea Bruce, you're right. As, as this went on, I got more, uh, what's the word? I felt...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We put in so much time, uhm, working with YouTube, building under YouTube's system, and things like this, just send the message like, you're not welcome here anymore. Or you will always labor under a shadow.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] By making any kind of edgy content, you're naturally shrinking your pictured audience, or your target demographic. So, maybe that's just the game. That's just how it goes, but...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The most primitive technology of all, couches, has been upgraded. Really? Yeah. Due to our sponsor, Burrow. Thank you. Yeah, uh, Burrow is a couches by mail service. That's right, couches by mail. It's 2018. Welcome to the couchpocalypse. Uh, so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Couches come modular essentially, uh, they come in boxes that you can actually pick up and move yourself, which is pretty cool. So you don't need, uh, delivery or moving people to get your furniture where you want it. You just move all the boxes, you unpack them all. And then there's a variety of, uh, there's a variety of latches and like little screw in pegs that hold the entire thing together. It's actually really solid. I expected it to be really flexible and like kind of creak and sag, but it doesn't.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, they sent me a couch, put it together easily, had it together in under an hour. Makes, uh, makes my exercise bike room seem a lot less sad, cause there's now not just a bike in the corner and that's it. Uh, the shipping's fast and free, modular design means it comes in normal boxes. Handmade in North Carolina, and qualified as one of time's best inventions of 2018.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, they have four unique collections to help you decide on your style. Uh, when it comes to throw pillows, you can buy them as separate or as a professionally matched set. So if you're, uh, if you're maybe a single guy who just graduated college or somebody who's looking to up your decorating game, you can let Burrow do the work for you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So you can also get, uh, $75 on a new sofa by visiting burrow.com slash dude at $75 off your order at burrow.com slash dude for $75 off. Thank you, burrow for supporting the show. All right. I have a, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I have a, speaking of, delicate snowflakes. It's time we take the fight back to them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'd like some water. You get nothing! So there's a book, a novel, uh, American literature called Trigger Warning. And I found a picture of the back of it. I actually want to buy it on


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I figured if anyone should share this with our audience it should be Bruce who can read better than anyone I've ever known.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, get a scoop. They're called Asian, Asian Ear Scoops. Oh, you bought me one? Yeah, they're on, they're on Amazon. Once you get used to it, pre-cloud all the goo in your ear.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Anyway, alright, so this is the back of trigger warning. Trigger warning.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm really excited to- oh wait, hold on. Speaking of lack of subtlety. I bought another book on Kindle last night called Ghost, where yeah, there is a really rad ultra conservative who goes around like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Basically the book is, as near as I can tell from the excerpts I read, it's a series of like very stereotypical, uh, Saudi Arabians like kidnapping white women. And then he busts in and like shoots them all and then throws her over his shoulder and then runs out. And that basically happens like eight times in a row.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] John, you are the, the, uh, here we go. William W. Johnstone. Cool. That is totally a nom de plume. But, uh, there are no safe spaces. There's like a bleeding star on the front. Trigger warning. Yeah, hell yeah. Hell yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're all telling me I'm racist now, but when it comes time to shoot brown people in the face, they'll be screaming for me. Meanwhile, there's like a 250 pound dude in his bunker, like throwing knives at the wall, telling himself that this is gonna happen someday. Oh boy. Wait. What? This happened? Wait.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, yeaah, I don't know what the... So he's an outcast? Oh wait, no, he's gonna, he's gonna, he's gonna beat up a dude for, uh, for assaulting a poor, innocent white girl. I'm assuming, I'm assuming the color there, I could be wrong. Uhm, but... Wow. You fascist, she screamed, you oppressor!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hell lady jake said knowing the word would get under her skin again. How'd you know I used to be in the army? Fascist fascist apparently yeah, whatever


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, it's how you're learning, man. Omar, why is it all washed out? Let's go hard knocks. It's all bl- it's all bright.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Anyway, I'm gonna, yeaah, I'll read that, I'll pick out, I'll pick out. We should do it bro.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That he is. Yeah. Cause he gets, he's vice president and then like the president gets bombed. Or no wait, he was secretary of state. And then like a bomb fell on the White House. This was after Tom Clancy got really stupid.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That was back when he actually wrote, I think. And then it just became like Jack Ryan was John Chuck America and it became studio.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, and because it's blockchain powered, you'll be able to sell your games. Uh, and the publisher gets a cut of resells.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, they'll have their own crypto, but because of regulations that you can't trade US dollar for crypto, but if you help mine the blockchain, you'll get iron, I think they're calling it, and then you can use that to buy games on the store.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Which is pretty neat. Uh, so yeaah, that's uhm, that's an interesting thing now that the PC marketplace is getting pretty disrupted. I'm interested to see how that shakes out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Boating, uh, like bold banking is the big, is the big thing. Obviously Bitcoin's trying to bite off, but yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] People have suggested, and it's valid, once the pipes are wide enough to support it, but blockchain for digital rights ownership.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So if you take a photo, and right now it goes onto the internet, and pfft, it's gone. But if there was a signature associated with it every time it got moved around, traded, or posted, then blogs could just like, I'm gonna grab these five images, you post them all, it goes back to the ledger, it's like, okay, your total digital image rights are 12 cents. You know, like, okay, boom, there it goes, and it just sends it all to the right people.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's every watermark you see over everything. It's the new, uh, Getty images.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, uh, sponsors, uh, we gotta, we gotta watermark our podcast real quick.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's pretty fun. You take this quiz describing the sorts of clothes you like, the patterns you like, the cloth you like. A stylist will review your dossier and send you


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was like, I want something breezy and light, filled out like shorts and button-ups. I got this really cool button-up that's like, very nice and open and flowy, and then some nice shorts. It was a good, good time for summer. Now that we're heading into winter, I need to, I need to pick up again. Get some, uh, get some more sweatpants.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I uh, I wanna have one sweatpants for every night of the week. And I think Stitch Fix can help me do that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, so it's a pretty cool service. As I mentioned, it's not a subscription service, so there's no obligation. Uh, you can try it out if you find that they're helping you deck out your wardrobe appropriately. You can order them, you can schedule them, or you can just order them once a season, once a month, couple times a year, whatever you like. It's a great way to have somebody


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Much more experienced than yourself or myself in the ways of sartorial advice, uh, pick out things for you. It also makes you feel like a king, not gonna lie, to pop open a box, try on a bunch of stuff, and have yourself a little fashion show.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, you can get started now at stitchfix.com slash dudesoup and get an extra 25% off when you keep all items in your box. That's stitchfix.com slash dudesoup. Uh, thank you Stitch Fix for the sponsorship.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You can get all those links in the description if any of those products sounded interesting to you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, let's, uh, yeaah, let's, let's net hard. Sweet. Slap that button one more. He was already doing it. Just gotta love it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I gotta be honest, since we cut the podcast to an hour, it's not as much time to fill. Yeaah, that's true.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh man, yeah, oof. Then what do I have to look forward to? Oh, only all the other video games. Outer Wilds look real cool. So, this is uhm, man eats food. Uhm, man eating food, excuse me. It's a man eating food, as you can imagine.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What's the name of the channel? Manny Eating Food. Okay, cool. Yeah, yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, well, so real quick, uh, so he, he, he has lately started putting a lot of stuff just on ice cream. Nice! But before, it just started with him just eating a thing. Uhm, and it wasn't necessarily always food. You did take a big chomp out of a roll of toilet paper. You gotta create seasons when you're- Sorry, paper towel.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, he, uh, he gets spikes here and there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So yea, usually, it was a bit of an, uh, we even got a little outtake where he biffed pulling the lid off. And he was like, oh, and he put it back on, but they didn't edit it out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, uhm, so sorry, jazzin' in the chat. Outer Worlds was specifically the game I was thinking about. So, as long as Outer Worlds is being made, Cyberpunk, I can wait. That is coming out next year. Hell yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, so here's the contender, My War, uh, Yui Chiro. This is a gentleman that wears a My War black flag shirt every day, and posts a photo of it. Cause he really likes that album, I guess? Oh, he has a kid. Yeaah, it's a...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It does tend to fall into buckets, right? Of like, this is definitely the, I'm gonna do a mundane thing everyday and post a type of thing. There's also the weird sexual thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's a lot, I see a lot of just hyper-absurdity, uhm, that I don't really pass along, cause it's not that hard to just make something that makes no sense. It's just like some sort of musical parody category. Oh yeah, yes, uh, yeah, you're absolutely right. Popular songs played on an uncommon thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, MyWar, wear the MyWar shirt every day. He's a painter slash silkscreen artist based in Tokyo. So there you go. Cool. Oh wait, is he selling the MyWar shirt? He better be. I mean, he can't. It's not his. Yup, that's it. Let's go over C.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, so, uh, yeaah, voting time. Uh, sweet shirt. And I guess Omar, we'll throw you in this one too, just to, uh, just break ties. Uh, but I'll go with Bruce. Are you voting for manning food or my-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, he, it's fairly recent and it's posted, I think it's been posted in two huge blocks, so you can see these are all three weeks ago. Oh, I see, yeah. Uhm, so, imagine that day of shooting, where...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's had like 200 pints of ice cream. Well, it sounds like he doesn't know how YouTube works. So then this was four months ago. Oh look, he's got a ton of views. This is just a bunch of random sh- random shit. Dried mango, baguette, bell pepper, pretzels, bubbly drink. Interesting. So he's- he bulk posts them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You get the, uh, you get the foley of him opening packaging and stuff, but yeaah. Uh, what are you voting Omar?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I saved a spider over the weekend and I really hope they remember that. They don't. They don't. They don't remember. Sorry man. Maybe the aliens do? Nope. It's gotta happen. Oh, there's more pictures.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. Anyway. Yeah, I just realized. Hm. We could ape this dude's style. Rooster Teeth needs to make shirts of us wearing our shirts. Oh yea, you're right. That's gotta be a limited run. They kinda did though, actually. They did? That Rule 34 shirt? Yeah, that's right.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Why hasn't there been a bond fight in a parmesan cheese factory?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you're like, making something and you just dash some chili powder in there, that like, poof. That like, kind of- Huh!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, what else, what other kind of vagina is there? If you're smelling it, it's probably...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's not a whole lot of spectrum is what I'm saying. Yes there is. Showered vagina. Uh, well that just smells like skin. Unless it's been spritzed. I mean it depends on


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When you get hit with a burst, yeaah. Odds are, it's not a good one. That's all I'm saying. Okay, I getcha. I know what you're saying.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, you shit yourself hours before you do doggy style, Adam. Gross. Jesus. Wait, what? No one's here and I don't ever listen to this podcast again.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uuuh. Well thanks for making it through this one, everybody.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, we'll see you next week. Uh, oh, uh, quick shoutouts. Uh, we got the Funhaus Awards for gaming. Hold on, there's no anti-Semitic.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But yeaah, that's uh, Finesse Gaming, uh, Waits for Gaming is uh, Wednesday, December 19th at 3pm Pacific. Live. Streamed live. Yeaah. We got our own stage, it's great. Mhm. We got celebrity guests, I think? We do.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Go ahead and assume that we're gonna have some celebrity guests. Alright. Uh, it's true until it's not.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So yeaah, next Wednesday, 3pm. Uh, and as far as this podcast goes, if you enjoyed this, uh, I'd appreciate it if you recommend it to a friend. That's how we can grow. Get, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] More podcasts. Man, I just wake up in the morning thinking, gosh, why isn't there more podcasts?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The award winning dude soup has come to a close. We've never won an award though. Yes, thank you all for listening or watching or however you interact with the show. I appreciate it. If you're watching live, we got the post show coming right up. A lot of fan art this week. It's pretty good stuff. Also, uh, yeah, boy, we're going to have some fun questions, huh? After this podcast. Looking forward to it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, talking about today, Steam's dead, uh, ding-dong. Uh, which, I'm gonna put it out there, I've been increasingly annoyed by Steam as the years go by. So I'm gonna state my tone up front, I've been waiting for this day. Uhm, I still don't mind Steam, it made buying games a lot easier a decade ago.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, and since then, I think it's just become weirdly bloated.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wide hips. So all you need to do is make something sexy. Put huge tits on it. Yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's what- supermodels are tall. Most supermodels are very tall. And she is a supermodel.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hold on, in the Mushroom or the Mario, Super Mario universe?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We've seen it. In theory, Balsette would. Yeah. Well, we don't actually know whether or not Bowser has to tell you, right? No, we haven't seen it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's a picture of him. There's a little areola in there. I'm gonna say that it disappears. I'm gonna say that if you come...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well that's what I'm trying to say. What happens if you impregnate someone and then it fertilizes an egg and then they put the crown back on. This is going to be a hot election topic.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] See, I'm gonna go back to the magic side of this, because you're right, those hats do different things, so each hat has different magic.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] One may change your gender, one may not change your gender but make you jacked.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just like runes can be inscribed on different magical weapons, I think that crown has certain runes on it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But if it's that crown that changes their gender and makes them jack,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's like when everybody played Pokemon Go outside that one weekend.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So from 2015 to 2017, it sounds like Kevin Bruner was CEO.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then in March, Kevin Brunner stepped down and Dan Connors came on again.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Decided they were going to get that funding and went, alright, we're going to make four new games. Here are all the games we're going to make.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Which seems odd. It seems very odd to do that, to announce a bunch of games, but not have the funding.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And instead rely on the, on hoping that the funding will arrive.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] On a game, like Mephin's got a good deal from Telltale to make a game.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, like what you just said about how like they hire con, cause this is very common actually in a lot of companies that I have seen, and maybe even in some cases been at, where they'll hire a bunch of contractors and they'll be like, just stay on for about a year and we'll full time you. And then they stay on for a year.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Which is interesting too, because maybe I could be wrong, but it felt like the Telltale release schedule was...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Slow. Which sounds hilarious to me, now that I think about this, but I'm like, I was always like, huh, I wonder what's taking them so long.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is interesting. This is an interesting thing because like a lot of the articles I was reading was like, oh, the managers are incompetent, the managers are exploitative and stuff that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If they, if they had gone and been like, oh, well we gotta, we have to give these people 60 days notice if we're closing the entire, you know, if we're closing Telltale.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Put a lean on stuff? I don't know. I just don't know how this stuff works. Assets. I've talked to a bunch of different people that have run different companies and they always say, they have said this sentence to me which is like, if we don't get funding, the company is going to close. Like, that's just what's going to happen. And they're like, we've told people that, so if they want to stick around they can and if not, too bad.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What are you gonna do? Sue us? Like, uh, you know. That's true. I, I, I think that, uh, if I feel like, what, how long is this? Was it maybe four or five days this story's been out?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, about a week I think. About a week? I feel like at some point somebody would have come out and been like, Lionsgate was in breach of contract. That's the reason we had to shut down.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, well, it's, it's, it's so, yeah, because I, like, I was saying before with the accounting, I guarantee somebody knew that in one year, if, like, usually companies don't rely on one contract, and one contract doesn't go through, the entire company's going down.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They had built up into this like big game studio that's like putting out these big, these really big games that are very high profile and so unfortunately they had to be like, yeah we're huge.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We're, we're doing just fine. And we're gonna get this 40 million contract from Lansky. Everything's great. And...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it's, I've talked to people that have said exactly that sentence, not ironically to me. They're just like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We'll just hire somebody that will get paid nothing and totally work harder than the person we have now. And I'm always like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like for me that's what, that is a come to Jesus moment when I've talked to people like that where I'm like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Got it. Now I know where you stand. And now I know the way that


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You managed. So for me it scares me. Because then you're not going to get any loyalty.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When they're able to satisfy, like Sony is a good example of when they released the PS4, they were able to satisfy the early adopters and then also the mass market. That's so hard to do.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's almost, it's literally almost impossible to do and it's one of the reasons why Sony is one of the biggest corporations in the world. It's cause they're smart. They know how to satisfy both audiences and they did it in the right way.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well also, they, I mean like, I guess it's the very worst for that group. Maybe they just decided, we're gonna make some female generals. They're like, they say 10 and 15% chance of appearing as recruitable generals.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, like, maybe they're just like, yeah, you know what? Why not? It's the same with Battlefield. Like, there were women generals, very, very few, but there were women generals in the past.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm always not trying to, like, I don't want to speculate. It's more of the, okay, well, if they are upset that it is not historically accurate, then for me the immediate argument of historically authentic, that negates anything they say. At that point, I'm fine. Whatever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Again, for a lack of a better, I guess, phrase, when you're playing a video game, it's not historically accurate because it would have to play out exactly the same way in the way that history played out. Or the way we know history played out, which it may not have played out that way. Uhm, but that's not the way video games work. So, for me, again, if it's historically authentic, that's okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's alright if they're, like, occasionally if somebody's like, you know what? I think it'd be cool if you could play as a woman in Battle, in World War II.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Fine, no big deal. That's an artistic choice that they made and that doesn't bother me. That's what, you know, whatever. It may bother other people, and I guess Total War's community manager said, hey, if it bothers you, don't play the game.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] To a certain extent, I get that, but also, I've been around a while, so every time I go in and my shit gets fucked with, I'm like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Speaking of making your own sandwich, let's get, let's get Belzat back up here. I'm gonna, I'm gonna speak against that. Okay. Only just for the purpose of you. Yeah, yeah, yeah, no, no. Uhm, but I'm gonna speak against that only because I'll never make my own food.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it was awesome. It was a pollo bowl, it was like chicken, guacamole, all the other shit you expect in a bowl. Plus, chips and cheese. It was awesome. Did they stop serving it because it started killing people, literally? No. No, they stopped serving it because nobody bought it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was definitely not going to go home and make myself, what am I, a plebe? And I, I said instead, I said instead, I went, am I going to continue going to El Puyo Loco?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hmmmm. And I really did, I had this thought, and I was like, you know what? I don't know that I am.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know that I, yeah, it was like, for me, it was a personal decision. Well, I boycott the restaurant because they took away the thing that I loved.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Or will I continue going back to alcohol and go find something else that I love? Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know what I did? Can you guess? You never went back. That's not true.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So for me, you know, I learned a lesson. If you don't like the thing, just don't, don't buy the game. Like if you don't like the game, don't buy it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was the same with the chicken bowl. I went in and I got that chicken bowl and I thought for sure that everybody loves this nacho pollo bowl. I had to pull my perspective out and go, wait a minute.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is real shit. They're chopping it back. Turn it over. But either way, I had to change my perspective on things and be like, I guess not everybody likes it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Man, I didn't even think of that stuff. I never even thought of that. I didn't even. That never crossed my mind that I was like, they are marketing directly to me, a teenage boy. Really? No. I was always like, and it was always me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I also knew people, girls, that played video games that they didn't notice either. I never noticed. They weren't like, they're like, I can't believe she's in spandex. They'd be like, isn't that chick hot? And I was like, yea. Same! She is.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I mean, like, this is where the crazy heals the whole time. Much to the, much to like the James, the James marketing, which is shredded dudes getting their clothes ripped off during video games, that happened a lot too. Yeah, it did. I never questioned that either. No, I have a couple questions.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's just a dick, we've all got one. I think that's kinda bullshit actually, I don't know why they stopped printing it. Print more. Print more of the dick.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What kind of spiders? Like how big? What? That's fairly large.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Aw, are they like, spiders big enough that they bleed? Like, have you ever stepped on a spider that it like, explodes in its blood?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I actually briefly considered buying a spider.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was wondering if an army of spiders could defeat an army of thousands of ants. It's tough.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But it's their team, it's their willingness to die for the cause.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, they're not, they're not smart. Yeah, ants are weird because they have a hive mind, but the hive mind's not smart. It's like, we go for things, but like James said, thousands of them die trying to get to them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Which is not, in my opinion, not very smart. But uhm, but.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was like, I wonder if I can bait these ants into a spider's cage and then find out if the spider and the ants will fight.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] 10 minutes, there were hundreds of ants all over this ant bay. Wow. Shit. It's like, uh, like sugar and borax. It kills them. It kills them like over a day.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I could put that in a spider's nest, have them come to it, then they would go for that and the spider could-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well they have, so they have other baits that are, uh, like hard baits that they crawl into and then take back to the nest and that poisons the nest.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you, if you, like, give in to your most base urges, it's almost always sex. Like, it's very rare. It's not even money, because money equates to sex. Usually. Yeah, pretty much.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But that's what separates us from the animals is when we don't give in to those basers.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh yeaah. So they know, so is this like they're celebrating something?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Green or brown? Get literally any lotion. Fuck a couch. Literally any lotion.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just fuck, just fuck a couch. Just do it. That's too much work. Just use lotion.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] More views than us. Automaton. Automaton is probably what it is. Oh, I know these. I have one of these.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, I'm gonna say, just only because of the Weezer cover. Oh yeaah, yeaah. It's hot now. Yeaah, that's why it's hot. Because of the Weezer cover.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, how's he making it play? Oh, there we go. Yeah. Yeah. I have one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Saw Hero dude. This seems like it would be way too much work if they weren't monetizing these videos. Right.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The same. I did not think we would find a channel that has expended as much effort as Zemo.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I, Sully G has done a lot of, a lot of work here. Wow. To get this garbage instrument out to the world. So I appreciate that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, you wanna end? Here. Thank you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Still going, we're in the second week of Funhaus Week, uhm, but I'm almost positive we're going to hit that 7k subs. We're getting real close.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wait, are the baby versions of them their children or just like, from the past?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Was that dude the same as the guy who didn't let them change engines that you were just talking about?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What does, uhm, big knee lover, the deviant art user, find more attractive? Like lar- like the bulbous knees or just like small dainty knees? Like T2?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right, but people have a type, you know. You like big asses or you don't? Are you an ass man?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The, the part he doesn't show you is his roommate who's hanging himself.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's like I'm there, back on Mos Eisley.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright. You're gonna leave a comment? Yeah, sure. As Lawrence, he's, you know, you have to do this fun house, the vlogger!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Are there, are there ruby characters in there? I thought I saw a yang or something. One or two, yea, ring is pretty popular. Oh yea, with this guy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That one, that one caught it. He could have had any of them, but he chose her, the child.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, every fiber of my being is saying vote against this monster.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, but G-John's incorrectly labeled us a vlogger. We are a lifestyle vlogger, sir.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh man. That, look, that last photo is like what you find on the roll film of like the kidnapped like body that they eventually found 15 years later.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You could also be saying the same thing for Gadget, it is being used to its fullest potential. Use, uses the active word there. Yeaah. Well they didn't show the body pillow and what they do with it, but.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't think I was here this week or for- Multiple weeks. This one's bad. This one's bad. So- Oh, I have seen this one. Okay. Yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, one of these are a, uh, a true hero after my own heart. As you all know, I'm a huge Tom Cruise fan. And Tom Cruise is one of the few people who are involved still with the Dooku, which involves mummies.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Toto, yea. Yea, well, weezer now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What I liked about it was it didn't feel like there was too much downtime of like, well now I'm gonna sit here and wait for this thing. Astroneer had that problem. For those who didn't play it, you'd go around a planet, a procedurally generated planet, and we would find like, what did you find, like eggs or rocks or whatever that you then...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Jack loved it. Oh, that was the only review I got. It's in New York, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Surprising it's taken them this long to do a, do anything with the Harry Potter license that Warner Brothers


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Years ago, must have been a reddit thread or something, but they said, how cool would it be if they made a Harry Potter game set in the 1800s or whenever the Black Plague took hold of the world? And they said that would be the explanation for, uh, like dark wizards killing half of humanity. Was there like, it's a plague, a plague's doing it, but it's actually evil. Interesting. They're all slithering.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No game is ever made and then all of a sudden this pops up. You're like, that sounds pretty cool. Uhm, I dunno. I think the Ripper was Voldemort. Sure.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wait, what? No, he wouldn't have been born yet. No, he wouldn't have. Voldemort's in the, I do like what they're, so I didn't know about that, that it was going to be set in, what year was it? 1800s. Just 1800s.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, people are oddly nostalgic for Harry Potter right now. I think because, it's, I don't know, when did Deathly Hallows Part 2 come out?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Was it the wand of Grimmelwald or whatever? The new, what's the- The womb of Grindelwald. Whatever. It's such like a half chub. All the new, like, fantastic beasts, like, I don't think that anyone will ever get as excited as they were for a Hogwarts story or like a Harry Potter proper story, so like-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know, I mean, it's the Star Wars problem, right? If you try to set anything outside of the Luke.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Universe people get upset, or it's, it has to be close enough related, but, you know, you do good enough Nights of the Old Republic, then people get excited about it. So, hopefully that's what this is. For sure. And then, who knows? We can have a Harry Potter movie set in the 1800s in the future. Yay! Who knows?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, when do you think this is going to come out though? When Sorcerer's Stone?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] 2003? What the game? Oh man, I have no idea. So based on what it looks like in those leaks, you think what E3 announcement holiday next year?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know, I don't think you could fault anyone for not having an entire universe and rules conceived in their head when they wrote this thing when they're in, you know, they're in poverty. And that's the first book series ever. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Look at the track record, I guess, with Warner Brothers in terms of licensed games or like, you know, adapted games or whatever. Look at the Arkham games, uh, the Mordor games, and I guess Harry Potter.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're, right now they're 2 for 2, as far as I'm concerned. That is true. But they're actually really good at adapting properties with


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Pretty understanding. Uh, not so great with the DC universe in your films, but the video game division, you're doing great.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The issue this guy had was there's too many games on Steam, so we should stop encouraging indie developers.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And the things you forget about are, uh, the theory of chaos, which...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Your whole life can be turned upside down and you don't know what's gonna happen. Uhm, or you just decide you don't like the thing that you originally started doing. So it's sort of, I always tell people go to school to figure out what you don't want to do.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're like, I wanna work with dolphins, and like, these things are rapists. Oh my god, I had no idea. And then you're working with rapists for the rest of your life, and you don't want that? No one does. And they taste so good. They'll stay out of Hollywood, I guess. Yeah, or the aquarium. Sea world. Dolphins? Rapists?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I don't, there's, there's different, uh, I think there's different ways of achieving what your dream is. So it's like if, if someone says like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I want to be, in your case, I want to be a host, I want to be an on-air talent. You have to ask them like, what are the things about that? Like ask yourself the question, why do you think you want to do that?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I say like, because you just stand in front of a camera and you talk. You're like, well, that is not the job at all. There's so much more that goes into that you don't know anything about. They might learn those things and go, oh no, I don't want that job. I want to just, I want to be a performer, a performer. I want to go work at the circus. There you go. Be off.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Can we, can they put a character in the game that is a Lawrence-like and it's some nerd in the future who's super excited about some...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Game, he can't wait to come out and he has a weekly podcast where all he does is talk about this thing and they mock him endlessly a la GTA V in this world of Cyberpunk.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Nooo, I read a comment somewhere at some point. No, wait, it wasn't public video, it was like, I love the 90s or one of those things. And some comedian laid it out and he's like, the frustrating thing about the song is that everything in the Alanis Morissette song ironic is that none of those things are ironic, they're all coincidental.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like just because someone, they probably said on a phone call or something like, yeah, we're aiming for 2019, but it looks like it, you know, we don't know yet. Like they could be aiming for it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is when you like, you call your friend who's like a lawyer or like your, your friend of a friend who's a cop, you have them call someone else to intimidate them or something. It's actually doing great. Wow, the stock went up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, I forget when or why, but. That's interesting.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It feels kind of like a George Lucas thing, right? Or it's like, the man made Star Wars and everyone hates him.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They could potentially like hire him on as a consultant and he probably could have got a sweet deal if he had just been nice and said like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, maybe one million a year. And they've been like, yeah, that's doable. Hey, you know, because if you listen to the CD Projekt guys talk about the Witcher books, they're, they're huge fans. They're big nerds over it. So I don't think it's in their, their blood or their any sort of intent to be mean to this guy. Absolutely not.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, you don't know what app it is? Have you ever, uhm, gone to a restaurant?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I dunno, 95% sugar, 5% alcohol, if that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I just, I'm afraid we're gonna miss it if we're not careful of when the end of the Big Bang Theory is.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah, I was gonna say, would a modern day Kevin McCallister own like an Airbnb, but it's just always booby trapped, so it's hard to get around. But it's all livestreamed also. He wouldn't livestream right now. I just realized Saw is just the adult version of Home Alone.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know, sometimes Home Alone feels more adult than Saw.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, you said they had an armed standoff, I assume. There was a guy who got shot the other day for not having a gun, so I don't know. You say armed standoff, I thought it would have ended differently.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I heard popular shamers are the most likely to have hostages though.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's eventually going to run out of things to pour mustard on, so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because it's, uh, fresh, it's new, and I think it's got legs.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I know it was Casey Affleck and I don't want to say Matt Damon did the Dunkin Donuts commercial.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Emma Frost. Like W-I-C-C-A-N? W-I-C-A-N, I believe he is the spawn of Scarlet Witch and Vision.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We talked about it before, Marvel Pulse Quest is the greatest because...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The get, the power, it's like, uh, you know, it's a, it's a match theory, but then with all the match colors that you get, you build up ability points, and you use those ability points as powers, and they're always pretty damn good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And like, it's pretty damn creative what they've done with the game. And then now Taskmaster can just use anyone's power.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, he's gonna be a limited four star, I believe, but very excited for him.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's also a timely show, so we have to get a lot of stuff figured out before it's recorded. Otherwise, sure, we get recorded in bank episodes, but then...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hey everyone, do you like ads? Well you're in luck, because you're about to get a whole shitload more of them. Not here though, we'll protect you, aside from the normal ads we have. Uh, we'll keep you safe on this normally advertised bowl of dude soup.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Should take the call on the show. Bone Doctor. My bones are all out of place. All out of whack. Uh, yeah. Hello everyone, this is Dude Soup. We're gonna talk about advertising. Namely the apparent increase of ads on certain services lately. Twitch, Netflix, what have you. And then we got some other stuff. Bone stuff. Mmm, bone stuff. Yeah, I got a bone bump now. My little Larry lump. There he is.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just a big ol' hole. Actually no, the scab fell off. That's exciting. Did you save it? Just a whole flake. I thought about it. But no. It was also a little wet on the under- I dunno.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, hey, I've got, uh, three fine panelists joining me today for various discussions. I'll start with the man of the hour, Tyler Koh.