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[Assistant] Duck family treasure, a man who needs no introduction, but we're introducing them. Jace Robertson's with us.


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[Assistant] Look, and here's this amazing product. If you order it, you don't get just one. You'll get a second bottle for free. Just visit OmegaXL.com slash duck. That's OmegaXL.com slash duck.


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[Assistant] Yeah, cause when Duck Dynasty came out, you had three, uh, what, an elementary kid and a high school kid and a junior high kid. Now you're, you're a grandfather.


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[Assistant] The only other person we asked about this was Mack and he didn't, he didn't have much recollection of planets burning up.


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[Assistant] It's usually your eyewitness that's getting debunked. No, I ain't debunked. Well I've seen a black panther too.


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[Assistant] You know where I want to go? Where? America and buy American made products on the internet. Okay, where can we do that? We can do that at my store. Hundreds of products. You know who made it?


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[Assistant] No. Mike Lindell, the MyPillow guy. Oh, okay. You know, he's a, he's a red blood bleeding American who loves his country. And he just said, you know what? I'm going to make a store and sell other stuff that's made in America. They sent us a box full of goodies, towels, slippers. Them slippers are awesome. My wife.


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[Assistant] So you've gotta check out the great specials on these products like the buy one get one offer on the MyPilla sheets, towels, pillows, and a huge savings on the MyPilla slippers. Look, them suckers, they originally priced $139.98. Now they're only $49.98 with promo code DUCK.


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[Assistant] Let me tell you something, them slippers are worth more than $50. They are awesome. I wore them, I wore them this morning. They're great slippers.


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[Assistant] Just go to mystore.com and use promo code duck or call 800-881-0056 and use promo code duck. That's mystore.com promo code duck or call 800-881-0056 and use promo code duck.


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[Assistant] Alright, so we're back and in the break, Jace went and got a dollar general bag out of his truck.


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[Assistant] So there's all sorts of colors and it's shiny on that side.


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[Assistant] So that's not like the beach metal detector finding that thing. No, but we did use them.


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[Assistant] But I never, I mean I found like somebody's keys for him one time.


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[Assistant] Yeah, well he's had some pretty great...


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[Assistant] The fifth segment's the only segment with a plan. At all. The others, we just see what happens.


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[Assistant] Sometimes we talk about Si riding giraffes and then people like it so much they say- Oh, they draw pictures of him. They draw pictures of him.


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[Assistant] Jace was asking us how this podcast worked and what the plan was and we had to inform him that we have no plan.


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[Assistant] They do, we have heard a lot of stories about Sai in the duck blind, uhm, and how he kills all the ducks.


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[Assistant] I've seen a Black Panther, it's the only reason I get along with you, Sa.


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[Assistant] Stone says he just drops you off with your tennis shoes on at the blind and you don't even, that's all you got.


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[Assistant] Alright, and we're back, uh, with the Hello at Duck Call Room email. The good part of the podcast.


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[Assistant] I mean, I thought your story wasn't great, but it was decent. No, this is one of our favorite parts. So Jace, we have people email in, I read them, pick out some good ones. Sometimes it's just weird questions. A lot of times it's been advice lately and it's been a lot of fun. And then we have some, uh, kind of.


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[Assistant] Deeper questions. So it's probably a good thing you're here today. Um, so this one, the, oh, before I get to this one, Avery from Pennsylvania drew that picture of you right in front of me.


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[Assistant] I told y'all that way I would write him. Well, Alex emails in from small town in southern Minnesota. Minnesota. Uh, with question about heaven.


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[Assistant] What is your question about heaven? Alright, so growing up, her great grandparents, which is awesome, that's crazy, uh, were a big part of her life, uh, big prayer warriors for her whole life. And they both passed away before, uh, they turned their life around and returned to Jesus. So they prayed for him, passed away.


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[Assistant] Prayed for Alex, and then Alex ends up returning to Jesus.


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[Assistant] It's been very heavy on my heart that I never got the chance to make them proud. Recently my husband and I had our second child, a son who I named after my grandfather. My question for y'all is this, do you think that loved ones who have passed away are able to watch over you?


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[Assistant] I desperately want them to know that I was able to turn my life around and I'm honoring them with my son. I would love to hear your answer on the podcast. That's kind of a deep one.


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[Assistant] So Sy says they're watching. And that's a, that's a tough one. I don't, I haven't really delved into studying, I guess, what is their connection. Like if you,


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[Assistant] Die, go straight to heaven, and then are you watching people? Can you see what's happening back on earth, I guess?


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[Assistant] Well Alex, thanks for your email, uh, and as, you know, I think we'd all agree here, your grandparents are definitely proud of you. Uhm, and you're gonna spend eternity with them.


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[Assistant] Um, and whatever that eternity is, we can't really comprehend, but as Jay said, it's good. We know who's going to be there. It's good. So I think that's a great verse to send us out on. Hebrews 11, last two verses. Is that what you read?


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[Assistant] These were all commended for their faith, yet none of them received what had been promised.


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[Assistant] Can't get any better boys. It don't get no better than that. Jace, thanks for being with us. That was a fun episode. I truly enjoyed it. We'll have you back again. All right. I'll be back. All right. We'll see y'all next time right here in the Duck Call.


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[Assistant] He was thinking, I don't know what to do with my hands.


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[Assistant] Well, it's, it's something that's pretty remarkable. Like when Murray comes in and tells the history. I thought that was, that was very.


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[Assistant] Not one beaver can't. One beaver can't. I think it's all deaf. They wanna stop running water so it makes sense. It don't matter if it's coming or going.


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[Assistant] You think that was the first? That was it. Have you ever done it?


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[Assistant] That makes no sense. Just like when you go to the drive thru ATM, they got braille on the numbers. That don't make no sense.


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[Assistant] You don't use deodorant? I use two, two deodorants. You, you double down? Yea. He double dead. Yea, cause he doesn't shower. Hold on!


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[Assistant] Now they all know they ain't gonna get my money. It's like a combo of cat pee and old spice.


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[Assistant] He's eating for two. He's eating for three. Yeah.


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[Assistant] Yeah, baby. Hitchhiking baby. That is wild. He tricked her. That's right. 51 years. Hitchhiking with that silk black jacket with the big red dragon on it.


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[Assistant] And with a man, hey, with a man like me that's got the gift of the gab that I've got.


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[Assistant] Well, I'm thankful to have you two. 51 years later, looking back, I wouldn't change a thing. That's awesome.


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[Assistant] I don't think that mean that she was a good woman. She took care of me 51 year. That's amazing. Well, look.


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[Assistant] Hey, that's one thing you do not do. Oh, since you said that about April fools. Okay. So when me and my wife met Massachusetts, okay. Her best friend, I come in one day, just clown around and guess what day it is.


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[Assistant] I come in, I said, hey, uh, y'all can't even remember her name. I had it. But anyway, I told her, I said, Hey darling, guess what? She said, what? I said, me and Christine got married.


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[Assistant] And she was just on cloud nine running around screaming young. Then I said, April fool. And she, she got a bad look on her face and she said, God will get you for this.


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[Assistant] Six days later, you were married. So, yeah, so don't hate, uh, just a warning. Don't fool with April fool's day. Okay.


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[Assistant] You and her have done something right, my man, because this is a blessing from the Almighty.


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[Assistant] And every time I wake up at midnight, he gonna be laughing. Folks, if you don't believe in Jesus, Gah!


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[Assistant] You're missing out. Oh, absolutely. There's so much stuff that you, that it just gives it a, a right perspective. Yeah. And if you don't, and if you don't


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[Assistant] No, no, cause I will tell them, hey, if you're joking on this, I'll fix the beats on it.


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[Assistant] Right, that's why I was sitting here thinking, but what is mom thinking? Oh, oh, my mom? No, I'm telling you.


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[Assistant] Just love them, and then do the best you can do.


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[Assistant] Okay, most parents and most people that have kids, you know, or they're violent, they don't think they're paying attention.


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[Assistant] I like it when, I like when he said when the other face showed up. His face just changed when he said.


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[Assistant] Hey, I wish I'd had a camera on you because you said when they were doing this one and then the other face showed up, you kind of. Oh yeah.


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[Assistant] No, we're in Germany. Okay. And we're, we're eating spaghetti. Me and my wife and her, the next door neighbor, the best friends shared.


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[Assistant] And we had already been talking about, you know, we wanted a baby and all that, you know. And Sharon looked at her and she said, you know what? And Christine said what? And started shaking her head. And Sharon was going, uh huh, uh huh, yes it is, uh huh.


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[Assistant] And Christine said, no, don't you, I, you remember I told you all the doctors said I couldn't have a baby. She says, yeah, but this is about the third meal I've had with you and you're having stomach problems.


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[Assistant] And then you tell them that you get up in the morning and then you're kind of queasy. So share it all along. I said, no, no, you're pregnant.


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[Assistant] So now, that's why it's so weird when your wife says, hey, the doctors don't know what they're talking about. Either I'm further along than they think, or I got two of them.


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[Assistant] We too big a wimp. Okay. You know, they all are talking about the weaker. Nah. Hey, don't give me this weaker joke.


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[Assistant] Okay, cause now, hey, fit me up, just have babies, hey.


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[Assistant] He still keeps looking down and thinking. No, no. That's why I look. That's why moms are the greatest.


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[Assistant] Grueling, what are we gonna name these children? John and David.


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[Assistant] That never did, uh, take hope. What, being a dad? Every time I said it.


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[Assistant] The only thing I remember about twins talking is that.


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[Assistant] They always wanted to, you know, mom and dad seemed to want to dress them the same. Just identical twins.


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[Assistant] Well, I'm just saying, I remember them talking and they would say, well, Hey, you know, you gotta, you gotta remember their individuals. They may look alike.


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[Assistant] Oh no, being a kid, being a kid if you're identical, oh yeaah. Yeaah, they're going to be playing all kinds of tricks.


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[Assistant] Might be teaching them how to, how to do all this woodworking stuff.


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[Assistant] I gotta ask you a question. Go ahead. Just being me. You said you was a scared, scared. Well, I say I'm afraid. You say I'm afraid. Aw, scared to death. What are you talking about?


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[Assistant] Okay, all I had to do was mom or me take the book away. Take the book away. Oh yeaah.


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[Assistant] That's the way Johanna was. He'd take away her library card. You could do anything you wanted to.


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[Assistant] No, no, I'm serious, and that's why he was a, he was, you know, she's number one, she's a teacher's dream student.


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[Assistant] Cause she's a sponge waiting to be, you know, Hey, pour the water on me. Let me solve it. Yeah, that AR stuff. You know, and they're like me. Okay. No, I didn't want, I didn't care nothing about scoop.


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[Assistant] No, that's the right way. I just, I wanted to, I wanted you to voice it cause, cause here's why I bring the, you know, Al done a lesson the other day and the title of what love is the great.


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[Assistant] And that won't be an issue. And that'll take care of 90% of what you're supposed to do for them.


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[Assistant] Okay, cause you're looking, you're fixing, you're fixing to have a, uh, you know, to use the Bible term, clay. And then you're gonna mold it from, from birth.


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[Assistant] Well, no, no, cause that's why the military, that's why the military, you get a bunch of people, civilian. Well, you gotta break them. Yeah.


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[Assistant] And put them back together and make them work as, they're not used to it, make them work as a unit or a team.


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[Assistant] That's, that's what marriage is, okay? You two have been pulled, pulling together. Okay?


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[Assistant] Now, okay, you got some other people fixed to be involved with that you're going to have to pull along.


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[Assistant] Okay. Thought process here, sir. Yeah. Yeah. That your actions do have.


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[Assistant] Coincidence, yeaah, well not coincidence, uh, actions would do what? Consequences. Consequences, yeaah.


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[Assistant] I had to find Will Smith in the snow. You look for fresh prints!


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[Assistant] Well, I'm going to start. I love it. I think you read it. JD, you read it going to church.


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[Assistant] Okay, there's no such thing in the Bible about going to church.


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[Assistant] Okay, Martin was right in what he said, okay. You're already doing.


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[Assistant] You're doing it at the house. You're doing it with your kid when he's feeling sick to go to bed. Okay. Y'all are talking about when you're hunting sheds or hunting deer or whatever. Okay.


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[Assistant] You gotta realize, going to a building somewhere to meet with the brothers that you're worshiping with.


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[Assistant] Okay, if you do it Sunday twice, morning and evening, and then Wednesday once, okay, that's just a minute portion of your time. Yep. The rest of it is spent at the job. Okay, you're going to spend most of your time at work. So that's where you let your light shine.


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[Assistant] Okay, when you're home with your son, just like you're doing,


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[Assistant] You're doing, hey, your act of worship is, okay, you worship in wherever you're at.


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[Assistant] Alright, we got a big surprise for you folk, okay?


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[Assistant] We got a young man here that's what, from what Tennessee, what part of Tennessee.


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[Assistant] Clarksville, Tennessee. And what's your name, sir? Sawyer Moulton. And how old are you?


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[Assistant] Okay, so me and you got something coming. I'm a young man. I'm going to turn 15 my birthday, which is going to be April 27th and trapped in, I'm trapped in an old man's body, 73 year old. Okay, but I'm going to turn 15 here, April 27th. Anyway, folks, welcome Sawyer to the podcast. Sawyer, where did you find


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[Assistant] Well, I drove up, parked my truck, was getting out.


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[Assistant] I met him in church yesterday. Okay. Okay. And I said, you remember us? And I said, Oh, I would never forget you.


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[Assistant] So he said, well, can I be on the podcast? I said, well, alright, come on in, follow me. That's all you gotta do, folks.


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[Assistant] Levi. I told Levi and I said, hey, be sure, Sawyer, to share Jesus with Levi. And y'all take him everywhere you go.


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[Assistant] I probably got a 440 him in with it too.


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[Assistant] What's the biggest buck you've killed so far?


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[Assistant] He wants to kill the doe, cause you gotta, you know, you gotta manage to hurt.


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[Assistant] So finally, you know, a dog comes out there and we wait, you know, she don't have any young ones. And he said, hey, go ahead and shoot her. Well, I was literally blind that day in the, in the blind.


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[Assistant] I said because look, I usually just bear down, take a deep breath and right before a shoot I go, hold my breath and I actually really squeeze the trigger.


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[Assistant] I was brain dead that day, okay, cause if they had one of them medical machines on me and checking for brainwaves.


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[Assistant] It wasn't none. Okay. Cause I jerked the trigger and I shot about 12 foot over that dog's back. Okay. Look.


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[Assistant] Okay, look, hang that there, that deer right there. That's Japan deer.


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[Assistant] But here's the thing, okay, honesty, truth be known, everybody misses. Even Daniel Boone missed every once in a while.


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[Assistant] So I shot better than my dad. Well hey, you better take dad to the optometrist, okay, and have his eyes checked.


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[Assistant] I like it. Yeah, that's what a 243. He could have bought you a, a, uh, four fin shotgun and put a slug in it and that'd be, that'd be a deer.


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[Assistant] We wish you, wish you duck and quail with a 28 gauge.


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[Assistant] Okay, and that's what, that's what a, a Benelli...


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[Assistant] In my humble opinion. But hey, you kill anything with it.


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[Assistant] No. I fix that, I fix that. I know what flash, flash is now.


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[Assistant] I'm not sure. I've noticed about people from Tennessee.


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[Assistant] Sawyer. Where did you find him in the parking lot? No, no, no. I drove up and they was sitting there and matter of fact, the door of their van was open. Oh yeah. They got me too. She got in and set shut the door and I pulled up right beside and I said, y'all remember that? They said, y'all remember us? And I said, oh yeah.


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[Assistant] Yeah, think about it. And it's actually, it's actually so true.


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[Assistant] Uh, but I've, I've showed it sometimes, but not, not generally.


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[Assistant] Say, my perspective would either have been looking at two kids.


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[Assistant] About Al's lesson. And I said the contrast that he showed. Okay. Cause he asked the question. Okay. First of all, what is love? What's not, you know, what's not love?


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[Assistant] Cause he said, Hey, the scripture says, okay, you know, just to love is patient and kind.


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[Assistant] Okay, but it says a whole much more lot behind that, but he gave the contrast. Okay. Here's what love is not. It doesn't, you know, delight in evil.


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[Assistant] Does that envy all this stuff? And when the, when you do that and then you say, okay, thank close your eyes and think of a person in your life that you've met that has those two characteristics, they're both patient and kind.


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[Assistant] I'm like, well, okay, I want to buy, I want my house. I want to buy a house right now. And they look at mom and dad and say, well, mom and dad, you know.


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[Assistant] Yeah, but hey, it took them 40 years before they bought that house.


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[Assistant] And everybody just to give me, and give it to me now.


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[Assistant] The whole thing about how I'm in the right lane is that, okay, there's three hope, faith, faith, hope and love. And the greatest is love, of course. And then the lesson was, okay, why is it the greatest?


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[Assistant] It's about, it's about the other person. It's never about self.


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[Assistant] Everything in love is it's always someone else doing something for somebody else.


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[Assistant] I've limited myself in religious stuff, or I'm starting to.


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[Assistant] To the two commandments, okay. Love God first with everything you've got, okay. And then go horizontal, okay. And love your fellow man, your fellow human being, as yourself.


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[Assistant] And then with Hal's lesson, Sunday, you know, I've even gone more because everything Jesus did


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[Assistant] He did it for us when we were not


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[Assistant] You got to think about that. He knows we're not ever going to be worth it. Okay. But yet he still did it.


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[Assistant] Yeah. So that's why, that's why love is the greatest. Okay. It's always about the other person, how you want him. Cause I always got, get mad when people get, you know, see somebody that hit a lottery and they're angry about it. Dude, why not be happy for the guy that hit it? Heck yeah.


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[Assistant] Why would you be angry for somebody that has something good happen to him?


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[Assistant] No, no, I, every time, you know, it always shocks me and I don't know why.


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[Assistant] You know, God has your life planned out and he brings people in your life and they say something just as it's time that you need it.


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[Assistant] Okay. Cause every time I go and I sit down and now comes and says, puts a lesson. Cause I don't know how he's going to top that one. What are you doing Sunday?


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[Assistant] Okay, that's the best one I've ever heard him preach. Okay.


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[Assistant] No doubt because it's always about everyone else.


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[Assistant] And, and, and I'm trying to like you every time I see something like that. Okay. Hey dude, you need. Yeah.


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[Assistant] Don't be just with me, me, me, me. Go the other way.


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[Assistant] That's a kid. That's a kid. Well, a grown man.


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[Assistant] That's what I told my wife, I said something about this don't sound right.


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[Assistant] You have to see what's going on.


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[Assistant] Hey, I was doing two things last night with the TV. Yeah.


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[Assistant] Channel, oh, there's the Oscars channel, okay, there's the, uh, uh, the new American song where they're going to different states. Oh, I was wondering.


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[Assistant] Okay. So that's the only reason I know the Oscars was on like that is I flipped to the channel and you went, okay. Then I've got one on the other one. Tell me, okay, I don't want to watch it. Gotcha. Well, that's the reason I missed it. Okay. I was watching soccer.


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[Assistant] I knew that was coming. Oh, I agree. I know you. I knew that was coming because I, you know,


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[Assistant] Nate Peters did a fabulous job and they went in the history books, okay, for the first 15th seed to go to the elite.


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[Assistant] Yeah, they beat three. Hey, trying to beat four is kind of, you know, be pretty rough. Go.


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[Assistant] It says it's good in tea. Hey, you need to cook some of them, uh, uh, tenderloins. Yeah. And glaze them over.


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[Assistant] When the butcher- I'm not there yet. That should not be a delicacy. I will fix that. When the butcher is doing his job, cut that and throw it in the garbage.


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[Assistant] I just don't understand. The butcher needs to cut that away and throw it.


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[Assistant] I'd be, I'd be, I'd be tough as a, as if I had to go out and be on the survivor.


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[Assistant] I wouldn't make it because hey, I'm going to die. I ain't eating that junk. Size is what they call a picky eater. Oh no, yeaah.


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[Assistant] You'd get voted off pretty quick too. I couldn't make it a bit. I looked at Grasshopper and they got some pretty big ones. And if you cover them with chocolate and fry them crispy, they'd probably be pretty good.


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[Assistant] Hey, if that's the bucket list, here's what you do. What are you doing?


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[Assistant] That ain't the meat, dummy. No, it's just the ingredient.


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[Assistant] The fact that they poured over noodles doesn't surprise me. This goes with the butcher. What you do with this JD, is you throw that crap away.


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[Assistant] I was just fixing to ask you if you had to say no on what age group.


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[Assistant] No, no, no, no, but here's the thing you need to have a relationship with your children to the point.


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[Assistant] Okay. That you have honest and open communication going about. Okay. The dangers that are on them things. Yes.


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[Assistant] Okay, you are human trafficking, sex, whatever, okay? That, that, they're fingertips.


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[Assistant] This is Instacommunication Worldwide.


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[Assistant] That's why I said, okay, no, you need to have a open and honest relationship with your children.


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[Assistant] Okay, cause I would rather they learn the truth about stuff from my dad and mom instead of learning it from the world.


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[Assistant] Well, no, no, cause you gotta think about this though, but he was doing the truck drivers a favor. Keeping them up. Keeping them up. Keeping them alert.


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[Assistant] Hey, hey boo boo. What kind of tea you got there, Sy?


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[Assistant] We had somewhat of a celebration at Phil's last night.


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[Assistant] The weather was bad. Kay's sister, 8 Anne, come in town and every time she comes to town, she requests the beef tenderloin, the smoked beef tenderloin.


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[Assistant] But, uh, we were sitting there shooting the bull. It was pretty nasty little thunderstorm coming through last night and, uh, lightning.


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[Assistant] A strike. It couldn't have been, it had to be within a hundred yards.


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[Assistant] It was like, uh, you know, you know, that fake wreath they have above the mantle on the fireplace. They had the Christmas lights, where the Christmas lights have been plugged in on that thing for about three years. At least.


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[Assistant] Well when, when that lightning strike hit that, uh, one of those bulbs.


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[Assistant] One of those Christmas balls popped and the smoke started smoldering out of that.


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[Assistant] Oh, Phil, Phil come out of his chair. I ain't never seen that before.


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[Assistant] Yellow, that yellow hit, I was, I was fishing one day and same scenario, the sky was yellow. There wasn't a storm cloud in sight. I raised up my fishing pole.


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[Assistant] I was jigging a plastic worm and it started buzzing.


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[Assistant] Boat key court. Styrofoam, uh, float. As far as my wife calls it, a bobber. It is a bobber. It's a bobber float for your keys. Hard pass. I think they're all court.


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[Assistant] Well, you know, uh, Johnny D K's dog, Bobo, he is a snake wrangler.


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[Assistant] I've never, never seen anything like it. He will get behind a cotton mouth snake.


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[Assistant] And yep, he's jumps at him. The snake strikes and strikes and strikes and he waits until the right moment. He hops around, grabs that snake right behind his head and he shakes him as hard as they can shake him.


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[Assistant] Yeah. Oh, that's why he straightened him out. Yeah. Oh yeah. He straightened him out. And then that's when he grabs him by the head.


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[Assistant] So what were we talking about at Phil's last night? What did Phil have to say?


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[Assistant] Yeah, it's pretty amazing.


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[Assistant] We were talking about that last night. If you stop thinking about it, it really is incredible.


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[Assistant] As far as keeping it going that I've heard is the one, the check from Japan.


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[Assistant] Groceries. They needed 400. Where was it? $405 or something like that.


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[Assistant] They needed it to pay, to keep the bank from foreclosing on them.


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[Assistant] And they were going to the bank to talk to them, to try to keep them from closing on them. Phil said, check the mailbox one more time. And like I said, he held, he held the envelope up and it was a check from Japan. And the only one that he's ever gotten and he's hadn't got one since.


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[Assistant] Phil's told me that story multiple times, but it's always the, there was a little residue left on those hooks.


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[Assistant] Previous use just a little bit of smell. He said every hook, all that when he got to the end of it, putting it, just putting it out, every hook had a fish on it.


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[Assistant] You know, uh, Bullfrog asked me the other day, she said, what, what do you think Uncle Si's favorite word is?


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[Assistant] Speaking of the reed machine, you know, when I, when I first started, you know, me and Jay's been friends 20 something years. He, he called me up and he said, Hey, I need some help. You know, we, we, we run it out of reeds.


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[Assistant] Uh, when you come by, you know, summertime and bill me some raids, I'm like, yeah, I'll bill you some raids.


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[Assistant] And, uh, now that I took over Jace's job and I see what a man is actually capable of doing as far as building reeds, I've always wondered why did I have to come in during the summertime to help him build reeds? Well, I figured it out after about a week of doing it.


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[Assistant] I looked over here, saw I showed up about 10.30.


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[Assistant] He lays down, sleeps for about two, three hours. At least. And then he'd get up. Worked about 30 minutes. And go home.


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[Assistant] I think his exact words were, hey, you find somebody else to make these reads, cause I will.


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[Assistant] Well, I can tell you twins, I know one little girl who's excited. Who's that? About the offer you made her.


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[Assistant] I got you a job. I got you a job. You know what she said when she got home? She said, I think give me some of that Martin money.


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[Assistant] Well, I'll say Phil Robertson is one of the best shotgunners I've ever, in his prime.


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[Assistant] I was like, yeah, he still shows flashes of that. Uh, there'll be a Woody flying at a 45 degree angle away from us about 60 wide open. He'll raise up with a snapshot.


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[Assistant] Well, he is enough, but there's something in a man that makes him want to blow that duck call.


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[Assistant] I think they've noticed after looking at our ugly mug.


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[Assistant] Okay. We got the pretty women here today. We got the pretty women. We got this guy running through the middle. We got the cover girls boys. So today in the 80s, now they're still cover girls today.


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[Assistant] It is a good thing. That's right. You need big time.


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[Assistant] I told him, I called him at night and I said, Hey, whatever you did on that one, you need to do that every time. He said, Hey, you're not going to believe it. He said it was done at 1130. So I wrapped it up, you know, and put it in the pan, wrapped it with tinfoil and put it in the oven and just had it on real low.


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[Assistant] And look, you couldn't, you could not pick it up. If you stuck a fork in it, you try to pick up work for you Jason and cut it.


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[Assistant] That should have been on the Duck Vancey show.


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[Assistant] No, no, no, yeah. Yeah. That's bad news there.


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[Assistant] Judy's in nursing school, she comes home one weekend and he finds a grass snake, pretty good size, probably two foot long. And he wrapped it in between these fingers and then he, he squeezed it.


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[Assistant] And that snake is green. Well, it turns when he squeezed it, it turns blue and yellow and green and red. I never heard that. No, no, it looked just like cause we was always fighting. Okay. So we come running around through her room and are throwing punches. Okay.


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[Assistant] That's, that was the best part of the, of, of Duck Dynasty. Whenever we'd do something and people would ask me, what is really, really, really like? And I said, hey, he's an idiot.


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[Assistant] Now he's a jokester. No, no, and I said hi, he's the worst prankster we've got in the family. That's right.


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[Assistant] They did get him back though. I've always said I've never grew up and I haven't. Yeah. Y'all are both big 14 year olds. We ain't gonna grow up.


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[Assistant] I actually got a good workout, one hour, one hour regimen. Okay. 10 minutes on the pedals. Okay. And I get probably a thousand reps. Okay.


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[Assistant] And then I do the weights. Okay. For five minutes with six exercises and actually, you know, that's one hour with no interruption. Okay. One solid hour of getting it and it's a good workout. It's a great workout.


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[Assistant] That's where Robert's fear always assess blame. Yep. Cut blame the nurse. Blame the nurse. She stuck him with a needle and from then on cotton balls are out jack.


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[Assistant] I hear one of them. No, but that's a, that's a personal opinion, okay? Alright. I would not. How normal we are. I would, hey, I don't have my doubts about any Robinson member.


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[Assistant] Look, if you hang with them, you- Long enough, 30 years- Hey, osmosis, buddy.


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[Assistant] If you hang around, it's going to rub off on you. Trust me. You ain't getting out of this.


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[Assistant] I'm trying to teach you some wisdom here, young man. You wanna be happy?


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[Assistant] Okay. You better treat her differently.


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[Assistant] I always, I always liked when I'd come in to visit and they'd tell me and tell me, yeah, Willie Ray run away from home the other night.


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[Assistant] That was about every Friday night. He had a bunch of tin down there, he put over a drain, water drain, and that was his house.


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[Assistant] When you run out of water and smack, here you go, it's supper time.


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[Assistant] Yep. How do you treat them baby? Hey, matter of fact, my wrist. Okay. Cause I actually broke it in a car accident. So it never healed properly. Okay. Cause I didn't, I didn't keep the cast on it long enough. So sometimes it's.


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[Assistant] Yeah, so yeah, so I had to, I had to, you know, I called on my first responders.


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[Assistant] What it is, it's a mega axel. Okay. And they're only found in one place. The pristine waters of New Zealand. Okay. And they actually are like on kelp, seaweed.


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[Assistant] They're like a muscle and then they've got to process the people that do omega excel that they take it and run it through the process and they end up with pills. Okay. And they're very small, easy to take.


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[Assistant] Okay like i said i call my first responders because i got a little inflammation in my wrist. Okay i'll take a couple of omega xls okay.


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[Assistant] That y'all actually got married and had a good life together.


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[Assistant] There was one Roberson that stood fine for Phil Roberson. And that was Jim.


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[Assistant] Oh no, oh no, it made her mad. Cause when we would tell Kay, hey, you need to get on with your life, you and the kid take them and get away from them. It ain't no good.


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[Assistant] Yeah. Jen kept saying, Hey, y'all ought to be ashamed of yourself. That's your brother.


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[Assistant] It's when Bolden and all them old boys he's run with come up there and said, Hey, let's go get drunk and chase women.


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[Assistant] And Phil said, hey, y'all don't understand, that guy died. Wow. I buried him.


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[Assistant] He's no longer on this earth. Wow. The man you're looking for is dead and in the ground buried. That's right.


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[Assistant] No, no, no, no, my sister, she had said it. She said, y'all don't have a clue.


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[Assistant] Phil Robertson is going to bring more people to Jesus Christ than you will ever even imagine.


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[Assistant] I say what was cool about that was that she had it in her life.


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[Assistant] And then they didn't even know why. Cause her parents that raised her, they wouldn't got me.


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[Assistant] But she was always, why am I thinking- My grandmother was. Yeah. Why am I thinking like this?


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[Assistant] There's no one around that I'm around that's even ever talked like that.


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[Assistant] Cause mom and dad was the same way. They always had, you know, I call them, I call them strays.


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[Assistant] Somebody send you something? Yes, so many farms. Okay.


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[Assistant] Okay, you're making a covenant between you and your husband and you and your husband and God.


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[Assistant] Okay, and, and like I said, I know goodwill. You want your father there for your, the,


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[Assistant] Okay, but if he can't get over it and will not act right, I would invite him.


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[Assistant] Okay. When it gets right down to it, this is for you and your husband and God.


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[Assistant] Okay, and, and that's what's important. You do what you need to do to be happy baby.


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[Assistant] It wouldn't work. Well, what about the people that you don't have their phone numbers? And you want to call them? What do you do?


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[Assistant] I'm just used to you doing it. He took it away from me, I said go man. Okay, well I'm glad to be here.


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[Assistant] And nobody would listen to me. And then one day somebody said, they're funny.


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[Assistant] And we actually got to have a show because we were funny, not just weird. Right?


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[Assistant] My, my health is better, but I need to lose a little weight, but you know, I'm working on it. That's all I say about that.


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[Assistant] What does all those big meals eventually come to? Weight gain? Thank you. Okay, I'm nervous.


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[Assistant] Well, if it makes you feel better. Phil's probably one ahead of me because he's wrote four or five now. But let me tell you something. Where do you think his money went? To the land?


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[Assistant] Well, I believe, I don't know if it's three together or just one. Seven thousand dollars. For a pipe? Yea, you wanna buy one of those, John David? That check would bounce, Miss Kay. That's one.


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[Assistant] Okay. Okay. We have to have three. Yeah. Multiply. Okay.


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[Assistant] He don't put his money in land. I don't know what he puts his money in.


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[Assistant] Yeah, he did. That's the honest truth. He stuck me out there behind a tree while he was going to go over there and shoot some ducks.


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[Assistant] And I was so, I didn't have nothing going on, so I started throwing these pebbles in the water. What I didn't know, they were scaring all the ducks away. And I'm freezing to death. You're just sitting out there.


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[Assistant] Remember they started out the Muffins. The Muffins. The Muffins group. And I started like 30, 35 years ago.


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[Assistant] My girls, cause I brought some muffins and we were trying to name a name for our group, so we called it The Muffins.


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[Assistant] And they've been through many, many muffins. And we started out, and this is really true.


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[Assistant] One of the girls had a little dress shop. It was in Calhoun.


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[Assistant] So you know it wasn't very big if it's in Calhoun, right? And so it went straight back and the back room was just for, uh, things that they didn't want or whatever. So we literally sat on the floor. It was five or six of us. Five, I think.


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[Assistant] Do you know how loud people make their trucks and cars? In Calhoun, no. It's so stupid.


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[Assistant] So we, we, we took that as much, yeah, true. We took that as long as we could take it.


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[Assistant] Turn it down, get on, drive a different way around. Close.


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[Assistant] Yeah, cause I mean, it was so cool and so nice. I loved it.


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[Assistant] Thank you for all those great memories, uh.


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[Assistant] But after all, you remember when you called me your real sister? Hey, you still are. I know. And they said, well, isn't he your sister, uh, brother-in-law? And I said, nope, he's my brother. He's already made me his sister, so he's my brother. I've been with him since he was what, 11 years old.


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[Assistant] Are you talking about somebody that come into the, become a chef overnight, but really, I don't know how long it took him, but he has turned into a fantastic cook. Even your brother said it.


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[Assistant] Yep, you're right. And, and I'm working on that because I said, Jay, I love your meat products, but we got to have sides.


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[Assistant] Okay, but this lined me up on, you know, let's have, this is what we're going to have for sides. And then I always want to have rolls. They said, you don't need white bread. I said, I'll get dark bread.


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[Assistant] Believe me, I saw him. You should see him like I did at 11 years old. He's the skinniest boy I ever saw.


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[Assistant] Well, you are the safe bill. I wanted him to be in a commercial.


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[Assistant] That does read a lot of books.


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[Assistant] Yeah, so there's a couple of us, maybe me and you though, that may not be highly educated, but we got it automatic, right? Common sense.


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[Assistant] No, they should have been like us, and we were on our own after school, and I'm telling you, I climbed trees, uh, I stole, uh, pecans from the neighbor's tree and their pears and their apples. You know, I mean, that's fruit.


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[Assistant] Well I drove the getaway card on some of those peach recovery.


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[Assistant] I didn't even know that till I got a crowd of like 5,000 and I told that story and then it dawned on me. I said, hey.


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[Assistant] I had a Shetland pony named Tony. It rhymes. And of course they really laughed then, cause I just got it.


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[Assistant] Well, that's when I was, I was in a cowboy out cowgirl outfit with her hat. Yeah. Okay. But you know who I was when I was doing that? Annie Oakley. Okay. I used to watch her shows and I just, I wanted to be her. So with Coney the Shetland pony, I was Annie Oakley.


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[Assistant] Yeah. See, I didn't even know what that was.


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[Assistant] Yeah, that was Roy Rogers. You've heard of them. And his horse was named Trigger.


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[Assistant] Well, maybe that's why I can't play anything. I did take two years of piano and I learned it's four, one, two, three, four notes that you start out. That's all I remember. It's one, two, three, four.


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[Assistant] And your brother, he sits there and slams hit in the dash of a car, of a truck, till he tears it up.


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[Assistant] Beating on the music beat. How many times has he broke the whole thing?


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[Assistant] I kinda like- We can get you lessons. Look, I like, I like a good drummer. I love a good drummer. I really do.


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[Assistant] Yeaah. I love a good drummer. And a good drummer.


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[Assistant] Si, tell him about a recorder, a hidden recorder, and he could get it.


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[Assistant] But I kind of think God gave her that voice when she was born. And look at her parents. They're singers.


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[Assistant] Okay, I know y'all are interested in my family out there and this bunch too. Willie Robertson. Okay, let me tell you how he got rich on the school bus as a boy growing up.


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[Assistant] How could anybody get rich? Well let me tell you how he did it.


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[Assistant] His older brother Alan, Lisa's husband.


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[Assistant] He had all these, they were VCS. You remember those, those square things? Eight tracks. Eight tracks. Eight track tape.


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[Assistant] That's right, so Willie memorized the whole thing.


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[Assistant] And I know one of them was Jukebox Hero. Jukebox Hero, ha ha ha. Sorry. And then...


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[Assistant] And then, so he memorized it and he could sing, he had a good voice. So what he did was, he told the bus people, he said, every day I'll sing you a song off that, uh, track, that eight track thing.


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[Assistant] And he's off of that, and so he did that mostly, that jukebox, whatever other songs were on there. Okay, he said, all it'll cost you, this was the bust, is the students, 25 cents.


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[Assistant] That was about the time he started his...


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[Assistant] Little, uh, what do they call it? Refreshment stand.


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[Assistant] Oh, he did. Well, he got me to buy all this stuff. He said he had something going on with it. Now, I didn't think twice about it. I said, I'll let him get the stuff. Cause I knew he wasn't going to eat it all. I thought he was just going to share with the poor kids. I should have known it was a money seeking thing he did here.


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[Assistant] And so he gets up there and the principal finally calls me.


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[Assistant] And said, uh, I, I hate to tell you, Ms. Robertson, but we're going to have to shut, um, Willie Jess Robertson down. And I said, what is he doing?


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[Assistant] He said, he shut our hole. What stand is that? It's a concession.


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[Assistant] Yeah, he shut it down and everybody's buying from him and nobody's buying it from the school. We do something with the money for that. We have to have it so he can't, don't buy any more candy, don't buy any more chips, anything, because he shut down.


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[Assistant] So see, he, he, he's just trying, making money at every turn, but then he gets shut down. Those are two stories. And now I'm done with my stories.


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[Assistant] Well I can't, I can't pronounce any words over two or three syllables. Correct.


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[Assistant] Well, I can add something. Okay. The first time I saw Phil at our high school, I was 14, he was 15. And you know what I said, the first time I saw him, that's the man I'm gonna marry.


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[Assistant] And I like that he hunt, hunted and fished because my daddy hunted and fished.


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[Assistant] But I'm telling you, I knew it. And so when we started dating...


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[Assistant] It was great and, you know, I didn't let him know that I want, you know, I had to play it cool, but then he break.


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[Assistant] Then he breaks up with me for hunting season because he didn't have time to date during hunting season, so we'd have to break up. Well, of course that was crushing.


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[Assistant] And then I thought, well, my daddy hunted fish, but you know, he didn't leave my mama do, but whatever. So then, so after ducks eating season, he still ain't there. And I'm saying, well, I don't know what's up.


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[Assistant] But you know, back then the man had to ask first, so that's the way it was.


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[Assistant] So then, in May of the first year, when I was a freshman, my daddy died. He was 49 and I was 14. And, uh,


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[Assistant] All my classmates came to the funeral and I saw Phil, he was there. And when he looked at me and I was sitting there on the front row, he said,


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[Assistant] I want to talk to you after, and I said, I just nodded. So, when we got back together then, it was...


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[Assistant] Never left before and counting dating and marriage, we've been together 64 years.


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[Assistant] Thank you, John David. Thank you. That deserves that. And was it easy? Nope. The first 10 years when he got to take.


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[Assistant] He decided he didn't like those words you said. Responsibility. Aunt Nancy told him about responsibility. And what was your other word? Commitment. Commitment.


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[Assistant] Oh, that just went, and then he went to play with, I mean, he had to stay in the dorms with all the unmarried.


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[Assistant] Football players. Well, that was not good at all. So we had a bad time. I had a bad time. He had a sinful time for 10 years.


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[Assistant] So everybody said, you need to leave him. You need to leave him. You need to leave him. You got a biblical reason to leave him. Everybody, Phil's family, my family, every friend I had, everybody said leave him. Everybody.


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[Assistant] I said, no, I told my grandma, speaking of people, I had my grandma, see, cause when my daddy, dad, and mama was dating when she was busy, and I had my grandma.


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[Assistant] She said, I want you to know, little girl, it's one man and one woman for life. And you will not ever say the D word, which is divorce. She said, don't say that. You will fight for that marriage.


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[Assistant] And that's the way it'll be. But guess why I stayed for 10 years? My grandmother's words.


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[Assistant] And stick it out. So I'm not saying I'm a great person, I'm just saying, let me tell you something, don't give up easy.


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[Assistant] People, there's so many people to help you. Back then, I didn't know anybody to help me. I didn't know anybody could come tell all that to you. I really didn't. I was scared to tell somebody. But see nowadays, look what help we've got.


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[Assistant] And he was drinking and I said, don't hit the bridge. Don't hit the bridge. Don't hit the bridge. That's what I said.


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[Assistant] When it snowed here last year, I almost ended up in a ditch. It's scary. Ice ain't made for VHF.


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[Assistant] You can put it like on a kayak and then pedal yourself around.


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[Assistant] Alright, Sy. What? You remember whatever. I went down sick. I was in a bad, bad spot in life. Physically and with my health, right? Yup.


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[Assistant] And so, I lost a lot of weight, uh, changed up my entire lifestyle, but the doctors had me on like all these vitamins. And I hated, I mean I had like eight pills I had to take, well I didn't have to take, I wanted to take every day.


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[Assistant] To, you know, get the vitamins, get the minerals you need, but now we have found something


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[Assistant] Brand new to me, and I've started it in my routine.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Called Athletic Greens. So I started taking it because I like vitamins, I like minerals, I like all the things that...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Help you feel better, give you more energy, optimize your immune system, uh,


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[Assistant] It, you know, and I found Athletic Greens and it's been awesome. Uh, it has 75 high quality vitamins and minerals, whole foods, source superfoods, probiotics, and stuff that I can't even read, but doctors say it's great for you. And so I've been taking it, look, every morning I get a scoop, throw it in my water bottle, shake it up, drink it, and I feel great. My immune system's ready to go.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I feel good, you know, it's important to have a healthy lifestyle, but it's also important to get your vitamins and minerals. It's a powder, you mix it with water, they got little individual packs that come pre-measured, I got a jar right beside


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Where I brush my teeth every morning, I throw it in, shake it up, drink it, and I'm ready to go. And I feel better than I've felt in years. And...


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[Assistant] So here's the deal, if you want to try Athletic Greens, they're gonna make it easy. They're gonna give you a free one year supply of Immune Supporting Vitamin D and five free travel packs with your first purchase.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] All you have to do is visit athleticgreens.com slash duck. Again, that's athleticgreens.com slash duck to take ownership over your health and pick up the ultimate daily nutritional insurance. Head there now.


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[Assistant] Did they whoop you or did they just never show up? They never show up.


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[Assistant] Why don't we call it British football and regular?


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[Assistant] I found, I found a ranking of bears. Who's the number one? Who's the number one? That big Russian one? I found Si. I'm telling you. I found him. Good girl.


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[Assistant] What in the world? It's a sun bear. It's a honey bear. It's the smallest of bears. It's a honey bear, I'm telling you. It's from Asia. There you go. And it likes to eat. Nope. Nicknamed honey bear. What did I tell you? I don't know why I even. I told you it was a honey bear.


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[Assistant] The honey bear's number three, according to whoever this is.


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[Assistant] I'm gonna tell you how many strides I hit this commercial. I'm going as fast as I can.


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[Assistant] I think we all killed the same amount of ducks today, that's all I'm saying.


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[Assistant] Look, if it's legal and it's what you wanna do, you won't go shoot a monkey.


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[Assistant] No, I'm like you. By all means, go for it, but I'm out.


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[Assistant] There's, there's whitetail deer at the, at the Monroe Zoo and I'll hunt that. And there's some ducks, but like, yeah, I don't, I don't get, hold on, I just found a man riding a zebra.


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[Assistant] Like the giant swing they have at the beach, over the, on the very edge of the Royal Gorge, and you go out, at like 17 years old, I did that, and I can't, I'm still nervous.


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[Assistant] I peed my pants a little and my eyes were closed, so I didn't say anything.


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[Assistant] Yeah, I did this. I did this swing. Nope. Oh wow.


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[Assistant] It's on the edge of the Royal Gorge.


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[Assistant] I got the VHS tape, I don't know how to play it anymore. I ain't got a VHS.


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[Assistant] I ain't never, I ain't never going, excuse me sir, I'm never going back to me.


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[Assistant] I'm not a Vegas person. You never go outside.


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[Assistant] Hello at Duck Call Room. I'm back today, man. I'm just gonna say it again, I'm cheering for the Bengals.


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[Assistant] Bravo UPS. Uhm, so he grew his beard out. Awesome.


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[Assistant] Wait, wha? You bite yours! I do, I bite it.


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[Assistant] I mean I found a good size, like crumb. It was still a crumb. How old was it?


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[Assistant] I mean like- When's the last time you- No, it was from like either breakfast or lunch but I found it much later that day.


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[Assistant] But if you're like, Sigh, that doesn't affect you. Alright, what are my favorite emails we've ever gotten?


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[Assistant] Nope. Sure, wear this. It's a good one. He likes all of us. Well good. James? Jimmy? From Northern Michigan.


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[Assistant] He had to do a project in his English class. Okay. And he did a project about the Duck Call Room.


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[Assistant] Yeah, there's a PowerPoint character board. Character board boy. Of the duck call room, Arthur's, Sy Robertson and Justin Martin. What, what? I've made it. Hey, you done Arthur?


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[Assistant] It's a nature slash religious podcast. I'm just glad to know somebody's been writing a script this whole time.


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[Assistant] So about Si, he says he's the greatest storyteller of all time. He's old.


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[Assistant] Not so wise man. Yep, yep, I concur. Oh, but not so wise. That's what he said.


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[Assistant] In fact, Jack is true. Uuuh. Looks the same now as he did at the beginning of Duck Dynasty. Yea, he's born like that.


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[Assistant] I'm not doing it with him. And next, John Adler.


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[Assistant] While Sai is not wise, John Godwin is a wise man that has lots of experience.


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[Assistant] The youngest of the group. Has the coolest nickname ever. Because we have the same nickname. And uh, is a bidet kind of man.


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[Assistant] And then my favorite part of this whole thing is Jay Stone's page, cause it says he's the smartest on the show.


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[Assistant] Yeah, and this one just confused me. Oh, y'all can't confuse JD. Focus everybody, focus, focus. It's like.


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[Assistant] He didn't say his, his name's in the email, so I'm going with Clay. Didn't say where he's from.


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[Assistant] And he just said one sentence. In season one, Duck Down at Seaside said he was bit 27 times by snakes.


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[Assistant] It's actually kind of a bummer of a verse now that I'm reading the rest of it because they're about to get cursed from here on out. Hey, this is what happens when you mess up though.


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[Assistant] And after he drove the man out, we went all the way to verse 24, he placed on the east side of the Garden of Eden cherubim and a flaming sword flashing back and forth to guard the way to the Tree of Life. So here's what I'm gonna say. They messed up, and now we live on this bl-la-la earth that's got all the problems in the world, but one day,


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[Assistant] We're going to be back hanging out with Bombo Bees and having honey brought to us. And it's going to be better than the Garden of Eden. It's going to be


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[Assistant] For what? For why? It won't work. I got three at the helm.


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[Assistant] You got an old school? Alright, look here, this old man's gonna get his beauty rest.


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[Assistant] Do you have an alarm clock? Yeah, I got an alarm clock. Hey.


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[Assistant] Did we tell that story here? About Philip coming out of the hospital? Oh yea.


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[Assistant] The fellow kept saying, hey, put this coat on. I said, I've already put that in. Well, next time I know he'll be scrawling tires, he'll come sliding sideways.


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[Assistant] He just yanked it out and I made it to pieces. And then next I hear squawking again. I ain't talked to the boy three weeks after that. Every time I'd call over, I'd say, Alicia, are you going to talk to me today? I got me defined. She said, I don't know if he'll talk to you or not.


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[Assistant] I'm definitely getting my rep. You are fired up today. I love it. No, look, I'm telling you, we had a retreat at the church and the guys involved in it done a fantastic job.


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[Assistant] Hey, Sunday was what? Okay. Cause I've, I've never been good. Cause I've always.


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[Assistant] I'm my own worst enemies. Okay. Cause I always look, you know, I make comparisons, you know.


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[Assistant] Man, I wish, I wish I was like that guy over there. You know, he's always just on point and, you know, got it together and all that, you know.


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[Assistant] But I found out, hey, there is strength in weakness.


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[Assistant] Preach. Oh, you know what I'm saying? One of the reasons, you know, Brian's one, he was one that done the lesson, most of it.


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[Assistant] Hellfire and brimstone sermons from the pulpit, baby. No, he brought it. I'm telling you. Okay. And you would never think cause he's so, uh,


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[Assistant] The word that comes to mind and he's shy and real quiet.


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[Assistant] You would never think about, okay, you've got this problem that you're trying to deal with yourself. You're trying to handle it. Okay. And you won't come down to Jesus and let Jesus take care of it for you. Well, I never thought about, Hey, going down front is actually showing your strength and confessing, Hey, look, I've got a problem. I need help out loud.


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[Assistant] And drove over with a track hoe numerous times. Okay. And clay is hard when it drives out. When it drives out.


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[Assistant] Well, hey, why do you think there's fossils on top of mountains and rock? That means there was a big water at one time.


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[Assistant] Oh, by the way, I got a car that's got a phone number on it and they deal in pipes. Okay. I hadn't found it. Oh, we need a pipe.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I've got a phone number on a car. That's what they do for a living.


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[Assistant] I don't know if that's going to be enough, if it's sides of rainbows. It has some rock.


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[Assistant] Well, the beavers given time, the beavers will help us because they will jam sticks and rocks and everything else in there and beat it in there with their tail. Not on the first one. They didn't help us.


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[Assistant] His podcast. Yea, I ain't got up yet. Watch TV. Okay.


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[Assistant] Yeaah, I kinda got, I'm a little, uh, I need a break from dealing.


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[Assistant] Well, no, no, cause that in Granada we was fishing for crappie. Yeah. And we were using the three inch crankbait.


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[Assistant] And hey, we caught 25 high channel. Wow.


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[Assistant] That's why when you get on a, on like a, uh, log jam in an old river where it's changed current, fishing a log jam, you know, put a strider down there, like you told me. And we try to keep the cane pole from hitting the water.


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[Assistant] Oh, they fine. Yeah. Weighing about three to five pounds. You get one of them big five pound half inch channels.


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[Assistant] I grabbed, I grabbed a 30 pound up on the trot lamp.


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[Assistant] And hey, and I didn't have a net, I didn't have my oil filled gloves.


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[Assistant] So I had to grab him barehanded and when he, when I grabbed his lip, he clamped down.


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[Assistant] And then he started doing this, and he just.


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[Assistant] The hood of my black pickup truck is yellow. That's it.


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[Assistant] Yeah, I've watched it. Okay. You personally? I, every time I go to West and have the oil change, they run it through the automatic water. Oh, okay. Yeah. Run it through. You know, and vacuum it and all that and wipe it down. Yeah. It didn't smell good.


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[Assistant] Hey, everything is running fine, boys. Hey, my Omega XL first responders have been doing their job. I have no information in any joint in my body.


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[Assistant] Okay, and look, you can only find it one place on this earth. Tell us where! The pristine waters of New Zealand, baby! Yeah, boy! And, hey!


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[Assistant] It's free. How do I do that? Hey, tell us all about it Mr. Martin.


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[Assistant] As close to the fountain of youth as you can get.


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[Assistant] Well now, is that legal or illegal?


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[Assistant] Now we got technical difficulties.


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[Assistant] That reminded me, I'm, I'm stationed in Massachusetts. Okay. And I can't even remember, Fort Devons. Yeah. Fort Devons in Massachusetts. I'm there and I am, you know.


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[Assistant] Bought me a fly rod, bought me some fats, you know, got the Mayfly artificial lure. Well, Mayfly season is fixing to happen.


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[Assistant] So anyway, that evening, okay, bam, Mayfly season is open because


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[Assistant] There is millions of them hitting the water. And look, there is literally this creek I'm in, okay, about this deep.


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[Assistant] Okay, and they will not hit what I've got on my fly rod.


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[Assistant] So I go to the bank, take my pocketknife out, and I find me a good limb, about the size of a baseball bat, about six foot long. I cut it, okay, get all the limbs trimmed off of it. And I'm out in there, and these fish have been jumping over my fly rod.


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[Assistant] I said, well hey, I'll just get out there with a baseball bat and knock him to the bank.


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[Assistant] If I could afford the arrows, I'd rather shoot them with a, with a born arrow.


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[Assistant] Oh, I know what she's talking about. Oh man. Exactly. Thank you. Maybe I'll bring some up.


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[Assistant] I mean, you sitting there dodging, yo, tell me.


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[Assistant] That reminds me, 12 mile bayou, near Louisiana. It's about, oh, eight miles from the house where we lived. We used to go and set throw lines out on it. And at night, I don't know what it was, but it was big and it was silver. It actually would come out of the water like a whale and then, you know, splash.


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[Assistant] Uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh,


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[Assistant] Big. Big. They weigh, I figure some of them weigh 60 pounds.


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[Assistant] I don't know what these things, every time we went down there and set out throw lines on that stupid 12 mile bow. Okay, and at night.


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[Assistant] For anything, full of fish. Crappie, bass, uh, catfish.


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[Assistant] But I don't know what that stupid thing was. It reminded me, it looked like a tarpon. But I know it ain't a tarpon. No, he wasn't made of air. Yeah, saltwater. But that's what it looked like, was a tarpon. Dolphin.


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[Assistant] We had, we had a pond fish for bath and it had goldfish. Okay. That was 10 pounds. Yeah. A 10 pound goldfish. Yeah.


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[Assistant] They, oh, they were pretty. We'd walk over to that pond and I'd like to see that. Good, good. Look at that.


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[Assistant] Oh hey, not on that. If you know what you're doing. Hey, you bait them up and leave them out for a month and they'll live. Go fish tough.


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[Assistant] Especially if you just look them right behind the eye. Right behind the eye. Yeaah. Both sides. I have some- If they end up pulling it too, that way they're swimming like they're supposed to. And hey, they'll live on the trout line for a month, months to half, two months.


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[Assistant] It either catches the fish, there's the one that will die trying. The goldfish? The goldfish. Okay, cause hey, that sucker's tough now.


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[Assistant] I said, well hey, they're in a bowl. That's a good life.


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[Assistant] Yeah. And they bought a pet, bought it as a pet. And then, Hey, guess what? It got big. So they turned it loose. Now we've got people that are all over Florida trying to get rid of it.


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[Assistant] Okay, cause the media, the media wouldn't cover it anyway.


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[Assistant] Well, they got, they got a thing on television right now about their showing how this country was settled. Okay. When everybody was, you know, the legendary men.


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[Assistant] The almighty had to intervene. Okay. Cause the Indians had.


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[Assistant] They've had them understandings for 10 days. Well, the, the pony chief.


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[Assistant] Finally said, okay, well, hey, we can't, we can't, we're not going to win this, so let's burn it down. So he started shooting, they all started shooting arrows, fire arrows, on, on the thing, and they had lit it on fire, the whole compound. Okay.


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[Assistant] And then the Almighty had to intervene with rain and put it out.


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[Assistant] Which was pretty cool. There you go. That's why people don't realize, Hey, this land was settled with men and women who taught it. And lived the life. Believe it in Jesus was the son of God. Okay.


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[Assistant] That's the one reason they call it that ocean. Religious freedom.


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[Assistant] No no, growing up, I remember just like it was yesterday, okay? Daddy and momma would argue about who won.


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[Assistant] They'd watch it and every night, you know, because at the end of it's always two people and they go, okay, here's your showcase. You can pass or you can bid on it.


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[Assistant] You know, and they'd sit there and tell me, you want this or you want me to pass it to you? You know, and I'd tell them, hey, dawg, you bet on it, I don't want it.


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[Assistant] But anyway, hey, they watched it religiously every time it was on.


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[Assistant] Ma'am, I'll cook a pot of pinto beans and cornbread. She had one every day.


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[Assistant] When were you cooking up a big six quart bar of pinto beans for two, two pans of cornbread?


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[Assistant] Hey, not a day ever went by that someone.


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[Assistant] Somewhere in that town or either just a, a, a hobo.


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[Assistant] I got chill bumps on it cause hey, that was important to me. Okay.


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[Assistant] You just talking about that, I ain't Irene, it's her kids was talking about that. I went, oh, I miss being mama because hey, she always load us up in that old pickup and we'd go to Black Bow. Yeah.


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[Assistant] Oh, no, no, no, no. That's why I was saying, the amazing thing was she had about, I think, seven items, okay, that they asked her, all right, Merit, what's the price of this?


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[Assistant] She didn't get close. It was like, hey, $3.99, Bob. You know, they'd flip the thing, $3.99.


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[Assistant] What about this macaroni, yo, boxy, or whatever? Well, that's uh, that's 4, 475. Unbelievable.


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[Assistant] The funniest thing, I come over to eat, they invited me over for supper, steak dinner. I come in, I sit down in the chair, I'm sitting there, the blonde tornado comes running in the room, she gets right in front of me and looks at me and says, you're a wrestle. I said,


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[Assistant] Well, that's awesome. I was excited too. I was excited when you texted me because I realized I had totally forgotten that I was supposed to do the podcast and then when you texted me I said, oh crap. Yeah. Yeah, that is tomorrow. Oh, I was excited to see you.


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[Assistant] We're just like two coworkers. We're just two coworkers on a, on a mission here of this podcast. And, uh, yeah, we used to work together in a closer relationship, but, uh, you know, now we're in different spots. So I think it's good. How are you doing? Everybody keeps asking me how you're doing.


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[Assistant] I'm doing fishing baits, I'm assuming that's awesome.


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[Assistant] I did see him fishing. He was fishing in my pond. Did you catch any?


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[Assistant] How is the fishing market? The fishing market?


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[Assistant] Oh man, I've been busy. Um, well, I've been traveling a lot. I've been gone. Um, I just went to Kansas and hung out with Mr. LaRoche at his place. And, um, yeah, I've been moving and shaking, teaching a little from the Bible and full time granddad.


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[Assistant] Full-time granddad, uh, do a lot of Buck Commander stuff, and yeaah, just...


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[Assistant] But he leaves his office, like, it literally... Say that, you know what's funny? I mean, if it were a toilet, I would, I would say you didn't flush. That's what your office looked like.


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[Assistant] So, it's on me. I should have told him right before he left. Hey, bring all my stuff. I didn't know where you wanted that stuff. It had been in there for years.


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[Assistant] But you didn't think about like cleaning it up and like sweeping it up maybe a bit or was it like, no, now they tore it up and I'm saying on the way out, was there any thought like, you know what, I probably should just. I thought I did a pretty good job.


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[Assistant] CPA knows exactly how much funds we have. Yeah, so you're telling me to get a pillar?


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[Assistant] Yes, all the way down to the wood. You try holding him for 20 years and see what kind of shape you're in.


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[Assistant] Their dog food was in there. Dude, I'm sitting in my house the other night and I looked down and this mouse


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[Assistant] Not only did he, like, I thought we had a deal, like mics come out when they, you see them and they run off. Oh, this guy's like.


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[Assistant] What are you looking at? I dare you. I dare you. You're just looking at me like, and I'm looking at him and I'm like, really?


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[Assistant] And he ate, so he scurries under the thing and I'm like, I'm fixing to get that. He comes back out.


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[Assistant] Just chins up on me looking at me like, you're still there. I'm like, yeah, I'm still here.


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[Assistant] You're gonna, you're gonna be running one day or night and all of a sudden you're gonna hit something.


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[Assistant] I'm gonna buy a, uh, I'm gonna get me a pet chicken snake for my living room so that it'll eat the mic. There you go. That'll go over well. Why not? Hey, it's better than a cat.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, well, technically I threw it in the vicinity. Um, so this was about year two of marriage.


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[Assistant] So I was in the yard doing some yard work and I come across a little


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Kind of a king snake, but it was a smallish king snake. So I picked it up. I took him to the house. I was going to show it off. And, uh, my wife was taking a shower.


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[Assistant] And then sometimes in life opportunity pops up and I'm like, how funny would this be?


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[Assistant] So I just go in there and we have like the curtain, you know, that hangs. And so I just threw it over the top.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then scurried out and I mean it was the funniest, the noises, all the shower curtain gets ripped off and.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, we used to have a box that uh, that covered up the uh, cut-off valve.


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[Assistant] And so every time you open this thing, there was a black widow spider. I mean. I don't want them as a pet. Money.


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[Assistant] And so I was telling this older guy about this spotter.


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[Assistant] And I said, I'm going to tell you, I'm going to open this up and there's going to be a black with a spider. I don't care how many I killed, they always came back.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I opened it up and there was no spider and I thought, dad, again, there's always a spider. And I kid you not, when I looked down, I saw her.


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[Assistant] I will tell you, I was standing there in my underwear in about three seconds and here's the crazy thing, I never did find the spider. Like I'm just standing there in my underwear and saw, I mean shoes are off, I don't know where that thing went.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But it disappeared, I saw it go in, inside the pants leg. And then you, you, you shed said pants leg. Did I shed it fast? Cause I thought.


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[Assistant] Like don't we eat like a thousand spiders in our lifetime? I've heard that. Something like that.


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[Assistant] I think my favorite snake was when Phil chopped the copperhead, so he took a shove when he hit a copperhead. There's probably...


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[Assistant] Four inches of snake then he throws it at the dog. Don't ask me why and the dog.


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[Assistant] Jesse's been snake-bitten like 50 times. Oh yea, cause he can. Poisonous.


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[Assistant] That's the worst explanation of that I've ever heard in my life. But yeah, okay. I know now I built that. He's talking about the arbor concrete steps. There's an arbor.


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[Assistant] The concrete stairs roll into, yeaah, it's actually a telephone pole. Yeaah, I built all that. But the crack, yeaah, the crack was like snake city. I guarantee you.


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[Assistant] When he was little God, when his parents would put a donut behind him and he would do a backflip, that's how they trained him.


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[Assistant] So speaking of snakes, I was, uh, so we used to have a, uh,


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[Assistant] We put a wire box out there in the water. So we'd catch our perch and we'd throw them in the wire box to bait the, uh, trout lines. A live well, if you will. It's a live, yeah, very amateur live well. Oh, that's a nice live well. So the snake, so what happened was the snakes would get in there to eat the perch. Well then they were kind of in the basket.


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[Assistant] Uh, he had, I remember he had a BB hole in his head, blood coming out of his head. Picked him up, toed him all the way back up to the cook shack. I threw him in the freezer where we stacked all our meat for the crawfish traps.


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[Assistant] A little bit later to chop up some meat for the crawfish traps and I grabbed that snake and he literally turned up and like reared back.


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[Assistant] Ready to bite me. Wow. I carried him all the way from the river up there. He had a hole in his head. Put him in the freezer. And then when I grabbed, he just coiled back up. Oh, they're the huge.


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[Assistant] Literally, that's where they came from. Unfortunately from here, I had the cleaver. I was already in shop mode anyway.


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[Assistant] Speaking of crawfish traps. So yeah, we were crawfish fishermen for a while. So we'd run them, we'd get all the crawfish and then we would take them to the store. There's no way people, you're not going to believe this.


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[Assistant] In a, in a boat and they had at the grocery store, live crawfish at the groceries at super one where.


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[Assistant] Uncle Joe, that, that store. I worked there for a year. That specific store.


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[Assistant] And we would dump them in there. So when you went and bought crawfish, you get, you went and like put them in your thing, weighed them and paid for them at the, I believe that was.


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[Assistant] So we were, uh, so like I said earlier, we were in charge of, uh, feeding, Phil had no concept of buying food to put in these things. So we would, a crawfish will eat anything, right? I mean, it's crawfish season now.


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[Assistant] Yeah, he would just say, we need more food. And so we, me and Jace drive up down the road, looking for something dead.


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[Assistant] Awfully smelly, we wouldn't pick it up, but if it was, you know, around the edge, we would.


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[Assistant] Ah, like dogs and cats and birds. I mean, I mean, whatever was in the road passed away. All right. All right. So don't get all sentimental.


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[Assistant] So life was a lot tougher back then. So we're throwing anything in this deal. So we're chopping up stuff and, uh, you just needed a little honk, you know? And, uh, so we'd go run the traps. We'll run the traps. Probably the funnest cause you say, pick it up. Sometimes you have a ton of crawfish, but I mean, everything gets in these traps.


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[Assistant] So there were snakes all the time, like, you'd grab that thing and there'd be two. Them diamond, them diamond bat water snakes.


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[Assistant] I pulled it up one time and I have a green river eel. Oh yeah. So a good size river eel. So we.


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[Assistant] So we're like, what is that? It's an eel. So we dumped it out and it's.


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[Assistant] Splash around the boat. And so now I don't know why I did what I did. I so feel like when he had the duck, he would bite the back of his head and like, that's how you put it away. So I decided I was going to bite this eel's head.


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[Assistant] To see if I could like kill it with my mouth. I don't, it's some kind of ride a passage thing. I guess it's a team. So you want to drive. Let's go. I'm not, it's me again.


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[Assistant] So I got my teeth on this thing and I'm squeezing like literally all I got and I am not puncturing this skin. In fact, it's impossible I think to puncture an eel skin with your human teeth.


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[Assistant] So, I abandoned the mission, but what happened was the slime got stuck in my teeth, so every, all my teeth had eel slime.


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[Assistant] That's where it started. I kept hitting him with the bow paddle, but he kept sliding off. And he kind of made me mad. I'm like, okay, okay.


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[Assistant] Say, John D, can you remind, you realize, you realize how proud your wife would be if you had some cool story like that.


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[Assistant] Oh my gosh. Was that when you were laying your king-sized bed in your own room? Queen! Queen!


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[Assistant] No worries, you can't really, cause he's like, his biggest thing he ever did was that time he slept without the, uh, the, the case on the, uh, pillow. You know, he's like, I just, I, I laid my head on it. It didn't even have the pillowcase on it. It was, it was crazy.


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[Assistant] I'm like, did your pillow smell like urine? No. I'm like, well, number one, every pillow we had smelled like pee.


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[Assistant] Was dewormed as a child. You were dewormed with a purple? It was purple.


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[Assistant] When it moves about six inches after you've done it, yeaah, you got worms. So it was swimming.


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[Assistant] I don't- Oh my. Is this light? Am I the only one?


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[Assistant] Wow. So this had, this is not how it went down up in the, when you were in the. No, not on the street.


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[Assistant] Yeah, yeah, then I had the roach, yeah, I had a roach crawl in my ear, uh, hit my, uh, eardrum. That's not fun.


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[Assistant] I don't, I can't see anything. All I know is my head feels like it's fixing to explode.


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[Assistant] And so dad's like, mom's like, what's wrong with him? And so I, and I can't even, I can't keep my head straight. You don't be quiet. I'm all whooped. Well, that was all that. Then he real like, okay, he's actually really hurt. And then, so he, he turns my head to the side and he starts pouring something. I don't know what he's pouring in there.


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[Assistant] Well, it's the cure-all of cure-alls. Campho Phoenix.


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[Assistant] Yup. He just pours it in my ear. Yup. And what happened, everything just got, it didn't like make the pain go away exactly, but it, like everything just got slower.


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[Assistant] And so I'm like, it still hurts. And so finally Phil says, take him to the hospital. I don't know what's wrong with him. So we go up there and the dude looks in my ear and he goes, um, it's a giant ball of wax.


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[Assistant] And I'm like, oh, that's embarrassing. But I'm like, why does this hurt so, why would wax hurt that bad? And then he said, wait a minute, uh, it's got hair. And I'm like, huh?


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[Assistant] And he said, it's got wings. And when he said it's got wings, I'm like, hang on. And he goes, it's alive. And so now we know something is living in my ear. We went from wax to hairball to flying hairball. He was just seeing this blob.


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[Assistant] So he reached in these tweezers and he grabs a hold. It, what it was is a water roach and it had literally just, yeah. And he crawled up my ear and just disappear like star track two.


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[Assistant] And so he reaches in with these tweezers and he starts pulling that sucker out. And I'm going to tell you something. When something is coming out of your ear hole, you've never felt pressure.


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[Assistant] I mean, it, it feels like your head's fixing to explode.


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[Assistant] So I'm screaming and then it just went pop and he pops that thing out.


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[Assistant] Yeah, and then he, but for an hour, he had to dig out legs and wings and I mean, whatever else fell off in my ear. From the struggle. Cause I left the door open.


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[Assistant] And I left my light on, so I'm sleeping like mouth open. I've got no telling how many insects crawling on top of me.


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[Assistant] You don't want him going in your ear, especially cause I didn't know he was in it. I didn't know what, I didn't know what was, I mean, I thought I was, you can't check.


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[Assistant] So Phil, when he poured the campho finique in my ear, it kinda like...


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[Assistant] He's fine, baby. You may want to check that. Alright?


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[Assistant] No, I'm saying when you were a kid, like we're telling like roaches in our ears and biting, eating river eels. That's when they're like neighborhood story.


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[Assistant] That's the craziest thing that happened on that road. Dishwashing liquid in somebody's fountain or something. Oh, would you do that?


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[Assistant] I'm telling you, it's funny. It's neighborhood. See, that's, that's what I was saying. There's surely.


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[Assistant] Out, sticking out the back of the door, peeing. Yeah, having a contest. Natural fountain.


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[Assistant] I actually, let me just say this. If anybody did have worms, I won't side to comment. Cause I know he had worms. He probably still has worms. So I'm going to yield my time for worm stuff to side. Talk about his worm history as well.


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[Assistant] It sure is. It's the birthplace of lacrosse too.


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[Assistant] You know, I've heard a lot of stories, this is like a lot of them in one. So, cause we've got some who believe in the almighty, don't go to church, Jehovah, we got a whole, we got all kinds of things going.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] One is this whole idea that you're, you can, your parents told you you can believe what you want to believe.