[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so, my opinion is that, you know, look, do celebrities get preferential treatment? Yes. Is it right? No. But it does happen.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's right. So what happened, what happened, I mean, I don't know if he did it or if he didn't do it. I think he did. But they didn't prove it, then they should have. So we do have a broken system, but God's system's not broken. That's why I hope he repented and turned his life to Jesus. That's what I hope happened. And it could have, and that's not going to make the news.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, it's either you're in Jesus and His blood and you're forgiven for everything you've ever done, or you answer it through the law.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, that's right. And Cy, it's not just murder. I mean, you can be accused of all kind of things that you didn't do, but because of the opinion of social media or whatever, then you're going to have to... In today's world, the accusation sticks.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh yeaah. That's a good shot.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And he walked out, he knew what they were doing. Come on. He's, he's God in flesh. He walked out and he said, who is it you're looking for?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They said, uh, we're looking for Jesus of Nazareth. And he said, I am he.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The great I am. I mean, when they, when he said I am, he, they what? Failed to the ground as if they were dead.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What if all the, what if everybody would have got up and who was in there with him?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right. And know this, that the whole law is summed up in two things.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Love God with all your heart, soul, mind and strength and love your neighbor as yourself. I mean, those two things, I want to do that no matter what happens. You're going to have a better life.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you've ever fixed anything with duct tape, you may be a redneck.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Second Corinthians. Redneck. Second Corinthians 5.13. If we are out of our minds, as some say, it is for God.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If we are in our right minds, it is for you. Keep that in mind. If we're out of our minds,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hey, we got a lot of criminals out there, folks. At the bank? Hey! No!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We got a lot of criminals out there that try to get into the banks.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I couldn't even read what it said. Only thing I knew was that it said something dot com. Well everybody knows.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm telling you, okay, so look, I had to go up there and tell them, I said, look, I thank you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You drove to the bank? Yes, I drove to the bank. I had to stop this. Fraud is involved. Oh, does your phone still not work?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I think that's what caused the fraud to happen.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's for about seven days my wife has been talking to a bunch of people trying to get my phone fixed.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, like I said, I couldn't even read what it was. It was something dot com. AT&T. So look, I go up there and I say, hey guys, look, got a problem here. I said, you knocked?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, no, no, I went in the bank and said, may I help you? I said, yeah, you can. I said, we got a problem here. I said, anything that deals with computers.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah, cause I said, hey look, I do not have any, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, I don't even have a cell phone because they won't work for me. I said, so y'all need to look at this and then get my money back.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My account number up, and he said, oh, you're right, it definitely ain't you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, what he pulled up looking at the, yeah, no, no, this ain't on your account. He said, we'll have to do something bad. He said, first, what we're going to do is we're going to throw this credit card. And now I'm going to issue you a new one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hey, all I know is he typed in my account number and he looked over at live and he said, this definitely ain't you. So I'm just, they know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Look, somebody's trying to get in my money.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was the worst bad, bad beat I've had in


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Look, hey, that's my workout. I work, I work out getting out of bed.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I gotta, I need to talk to the doctor about that too, cause hey, my oxygen level has gone up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, no, no, I'm talking on my machine. Yeah, I didn't even think it went that high.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, hey, I punched it the other night, you know, when I was going to bed and I looked and I said, whoa, you know, this thing's up to nine.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I hit the button a couple of times and it went down to 4.5. But during the night, okay, hey,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Went back up to nine, cause when I woke up this morning to turn it off, I looked, it's on nine. I'ma say, good grief.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And when it's on nine, I just keeping my wife away because the mass has got so much oxygen coming out of it. It's making all kinds of weird sounds.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well that's a way of yawning and, uh, uh, air escaping from underneath the plastic. Yeah. Makes all kind of weird noise.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That we would all, here's the same thing, we can't help none of y'all. Okay, so we're too far gone.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well yeaah, yeaah, no, no, that's, no, that's another count.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They after you dude, they'll get you too. Hold on.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] One of somebody called that bank and said, Hey, do you know Mr. Robson? Does he know anything or do deal with computers?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And Scotty Rob busted out laughing. He said, Hey, nah, that ain't him. If his computers is fraud.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, that's how the first one got caught.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm just telling you, hey, you'd be shocked to know that, you know, Big Brother is watching. Trust me when I tell you that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] With all this computer stuff going on, they know more than you think, okay?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause when a man can just type in an account number and then look at me in live and say, yep, you're right, that ain't you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, no, I'm telling you. Can you bring it? It was hilarious because as soon as he tapped it in, it come up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Six, six twenty-two forty-five. And then when I- He remembers no details, but down to the penny, we got that. No, that's what my wife's got on my checkbook, okay? When I went up to the bank, he said, oh yea, it's uh, uh, four hundred ninety dollars.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, cause my wife said, wait a minute, it's 622 is what I seen on the, on the thing I brought up. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Why did he say 490? They'll get it right. Don't worry about it. Is Philip McMillan involved in this at all? I don't know. I don't know who's involved in it. All I know is, hey, do you still have a checkbook?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What's a checkbook? All I know is, hey look, the detectives have turned the dog loose and the dogs are sniffing, following the trail.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When it comes to money, there ain't a commercial around $622.45.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hey, no, no, look, no, no, I already had mine.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You gotta understand when you- Oh, Phil was late, huh? Hey look, if you're got a glare when you're driving- Oh, here we go. You put on Battle Vision, the glare's gone.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Anyway, so I don't have to sit there and say what. I'll kill him.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Trying to get the stupid phone working, y'all.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They were, the phone was made, the cell phone. Whoever come up with it had a good idea.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, if I'm on the highway, you know, my wife's on the highway and she breaks down, flat tire goes flat or the car quits, she can call. Yeah, that's a good thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, now, there's only one problem. They should have never put keyboard on it. Well, they can type.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because nobody uses the phone anymore to say, let me call this number. Hello, I need to talk to Si. Is that why you drove to the bank? No.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They don't use a phone to communicate.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, cell phone is supposed to be for hey, call somebody and at other end when it rings, pick it up and say hello.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The Robertson man has a phone? Nah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, it's useless piece of junk. I don't miss having one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's another thing. Anytime you pick up something and it cusses you out, hey, throw that thing in the trash.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hey, I would like to just have about a week of shotgun and just everybody bring their phones, throw them up, I'll blow them away for you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well that's nice to have if you're on the road and it breaks down and you can call somebody else. I wish I just had a bag phone, that'd be awesome.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm serious, if I've done it, cause I, my fingers are not that, that little, that they can touch them little, little numbers. Now, our little letters.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm not into motorcycles. We have a thing with motorcycles. We've had a lot of friends and cousins.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh no, like Jimmy's son lost his leg, wrapped it around a telephone pole, bike. And bad part was, he asked, the son asked Jimmy Frank, you know, can I buy a bike? And Jimmy Frank told him no.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] His wife went down and let him buy one and the next thing that happened, he'd lose his leg.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Somebody, somebody. I could eat a dozen of them right now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How does that work? That's my prediction concerning.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, they, no, they, no, they get over, they pop it back in place and are back at it next week. He's done that all the time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's the first thing I noticed when we were watching TV over there, watching the, all of these different masters.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I noticed one thing that when they got to the jiu-jitsu master, all of the other masters did this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Then you're in, hey, you might as well die cause you're in heaven.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If he gives you the best product, then he gives you the best price.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's why I told him, give him six months with the jiu-jitsu, and he's gonna be a force to be reckoned with.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause anybody, no, no, I'm serious. Cause anybody that amount of discipline to go through that your stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause I, he learned some from this experience with the popped out real I'm telling you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He didn't even think about it. No, you've gotta have a mental attitude to do that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Very dismal, number one, okay, to go through that junk. Okay. And number two, no.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, first time they, you know, yeah, now I'm ready to fight everybody and that's when he's going to hurt me. Pop a real.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Use everything the other person is doing against it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because hey, you know, they got guys that one guy walked in there and like he's got bicep bigger than Bumbo.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We'll punish him, cause he'll use all that strength Burley's got against him.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Teddy, when they use everything you do against you,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Blue one, okay. I'll watch him. Hey, there's about 33 of them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Say something. Where he can take him to make it turn him into a pestle.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Remember this phrase, looks are deceiving.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He said, I'll give him some good advice. He said, money is involved in here. Hey, start out real slow. Buy you a cane post, a little laugh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A hook and a, and a cork and a weight and a can of worms.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Man's wearing a Crush City hat. I'm trying to sell fishing baits to everybody. Okay, hey, don't waste your money on a fishing rod, unreal.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That is not true! You caught a fish with your hands? I've caught a thousand crawfish with my hands. That's not a fish! Hey!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Here's the way you catch a fish. Here's the way you catch a fish. You get in a red river, shallow water.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, and you spread your fingers like this right here. Spread your fingers out. And you lay there. And you lay in the water. Lay there and be still and finally when you feel something get your finger.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's it Madison. Okay, you got a sturgeon, a baby sturgeon in your hand.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've caught a many a fish in these little grippers I got boys called fingers and plump.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, no, as kids. Okay. Whenever it rain where we live in Dixie, Louisiana, a lot of clay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, when it rains and clay washes in the creek.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] With your bare hands? Yeah. Yeah. Cause you just get out chest deep, let them swim in. They hit you and do 20 times sideways. Grab them with your hands and walk to the bank.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, Madison, that's the best advice we can give you. No, no, look, so it rains. It's free. No, no, look, it rains. So hey, we all head to the creek and we see the water churning up in the creek.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So we're running and fixing to go in the water until we've seen what was rolling in the water.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause that's what it sounds like to me. No, no, I describe my childhood as wild.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, I didn't feel ripped off by that game and I didn't play the multiplayer because no one, by the time I ended up playing it, nobody, nobody was playing it anymore. Uhm, I don't know. It was fun. Which game? Portal 2.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So do you, do you go on like, uh, long binge game sessions where you play for hours and hours and hours or is your place, like my playstyle now is I'll get home, I'll like cook dinner and I have like 45 minutes and I play one game of League of Legends or I'll do one or two missions in Shadow of Mordor and I haven't, which I have not finished yet because I just don't have the time to like sit and play for a while. What is your gaming style?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So anyway, yes, two trailers came out that both reveal the, you know, the upcoming release date. But, uh, we've talked about Halo extensively before because we're all huge fans in this room. Yes, I'm a fan of Halo.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Anyways, a big misconception in Halo Reach that you played as Spartan IIs.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Four's fantastic. So like, what I was trying to get at was, so four, this is the new trilogy, this is where 343 started. We're going back, baby! This is the journey they started us on in 2012, where basically now you're getting a more detailed story. Like, Chief is now more of a character than he was before. And he is a, we've talked about this before. He knows jokes now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's more like the- well, Adam. Through his actions, basically. I mean, it's, it's, it's the constant dichotomy of like, him and Cortana. Cortana is the...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] She's a robot, basically, but she's more human than him. And they even talk about that in the beginning of Halo 4, where they're saying he's basically a sociopath.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so, she is basically, you see signs of corruption in this game, and by the end of four- Do you see signs of corruption in her vagina? Oh man. She turns red. You gotta, you gotta- And I assume her vagina-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Basically, that's what they're alluding to with this trailer. So for those who haven't seen it yet, it's basically, uh, it's.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The guy playing Locke is an okay actor, but the material he has is really bad. So, I'll check it out. Sorry, I'm getting over sickness.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What's that? Oh yeaah. Oh neat, oh yeaah. It stands for Office of Naval Intelligence. So it's basically, that's like, those are their spooks.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So why is he after chief? That's the question. Oh, we don't know. We don't know yet.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm kind of fuzzy on some of the stuff because there's a lot of backstory that they've gotten into since 343 took over. That goes into essentially like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Basically. And they eluded that sort of stuff in Halo 4, but like, I'm sure it lost a lot of people.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It, there's, yeah, I, look, this is, that's, it's a discussion I could wait for another time because, uh, there's at least four people in this room that will die of boredom if we go into it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're probably gonna replay the same section and it's gonna be that sort of thing with any kind of storytelling. Details get lost and that's what you see with.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so he's- I didn't assume that. What did you assume? You didn't even hear what he was talking-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You don't understand any of the Covenant in this one because they're speaking a different dialect that has never been. Maybe, I mean, they're basically a rogue group.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Knowing, knowing the, uh, the 343 writing staff and their kind of mindset, they're more, they're real big sci-fi gurus. Uhm, and I don't think they're gonna be...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What? You're right though. Oh no, I know. I'm sorry. That's a gimmick. Didn't mean to insult you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The whole thing was there was a rebellion in the whatever, you know, this is 500 years in the future. So it's kind of like Starcraft where like, or maybe others like Warhammer 40k. Yea, I mean this is not an original idea.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Humanity expanded so far that there's a group saying like, I don't want to be part of the space government. The space government said, fuck you, yes you are. But they can't, they're so small it's hard to take them out. So they developed the Spartan program to take out these small insurrectionists. And it just so happened to be when the Spartan twos were essentially perfected, the covenant invaded.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it was like, well, thank god we got these things and UNSC basically even kinda calls Halsey on that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Regardless, there's this one part where he goes into like a gym and these group of ODSTs are like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm not, I'm not praising Halo for being original in any way, but it pulls from a lot of cool sci-fi and make it into a fun, interesting video game with like, a kind of, you know, it adds its own unique twist on things.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Halo 4 was a tough call because they had to basically stay relevant in a world and then to two different groups. It was like, let's go after the Call of Duty kids, but then let's also appease the Halo fans. At the same time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're trying to introduce all this lore and stuff that Bungie essentially neglected. Where they're almost like ashamed of.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's basically professional fanfiction, which is what I really like, because they have a lot of source material to work off of.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, there's also a lot of, um, errors, uh, whether they're intentional or not, I'm not sure, but like, Locke is walking, uh, they show his HUD. Oh yeah. And I forget, it's one or the other, it's flipped, but it's basically in his HUD, it shows he has a battle rifle, and then he's holding a DMR.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You play intrepid young reporter Bucky Chief. Jonathan Halo. I don't, I mean maybe, so yea, maybe the game actually takes place from a third perspective, and you're getting the story secondhand, and it's like, and with any sort of storytelling, details always get muddled.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I went through that for a little while, like, I don't think I was telling you guys, but I was playing Dark Souls 1 way before, after we did our Drunk Series. I'm like, you know what? I'm gonna give it a whirl. I'm sure there's something to it, like, because when the combat, like, flows, it feels really good. It does, yeah. I was like, oh okay, like, you feel powerful, you feel like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Leads? And so like I was playing it a lot, but then you do that thing where like you progress for like five hours and you won't die. Yeah. And then you start thinking you're invincible. And then some bullshit happens and people, it's that whole thing of like, oh, souls. There's just a hole in the wall, there's just a hole in the ground.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I had a lot of issues, but like you, James, I would lay awake at night and be like, I really want to play again.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The whole thing was like, you have to memorize and go through this whole thing. People weren't praising Stuntman for its difficulty and being like, oh jeez, suicide bomber. Wow, he really wanted to die.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, I appreciate the game for what it is, but at the same time, I'm willing to like give up achievements if there was a quick save option.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, that's the thing, like, I want to go, and then, like, Dark Souls 2, I stopped playing because it was like, you've died so many times that we've, uh, taken away like a third of your health. Now it's even harder, like, well, fuck you, video game, like, I-I don't really want to play anymore, and they're like, too bad, and I'm like, well, uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sorry, like, yea, and it's like, I kinda wanna progress, and then people are like, you guys make fun of the lore and you don't really care about it. It's like, well, I don't really get to progress through it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know, like, it's weird, it's like you're throwing rocks at a guy with arms and you're a disabled person, like-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just stop, uhm, like, why are you trying to invoke someone's wrath? Like, I don't, are, is you saying like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm good at video games, like supposed to make me mad or envious or something.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah, I mean, it's the sort of like, yeaah, we... B, crouches. There you go.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And he was like, it was the first time I ever saw him go, alright nevermind, like whatever, fuck you guys.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, it's us, like, I don't know, he'll, he's more than welcome to rip on us at any time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, the way I saw us coming onto Rooster Teeth this early on was essentially we got a year head start. Uhm, there's a lot of things that, like if you fast forward a year from when we started, whether we had joined or not,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The company would be in the same position. Like they're going to, they were gonna expand west, they're gonna do this stuff. We're in the early stages of it and we're a part of it and so there's gonna be a lot of...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, Bernie called it early access, which is kind of the best way of looking at it. So it's, we're constantly, I mean, this is how we've always been though, we're constantly in development. Like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We're, we're mastering, I guess the way you look at it is, we're mastering our craft that is unmasterable. Like you can't master what we do. There is no way of doing it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, cause I created the template for the, uh, the lower thirds every time you see our names pop up. The very first one I created was Lawrence's.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, there is a mountain. That's not a reference to our fan art that the office we moved into, like when we saw early images of it, it was just a blank room, like cool, we can hang stuff up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've already started with other ghostly people, but that didn't help.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's a good drawing of Matt Peake. Sneak a peek at Matt Peake. Thank you. Sexy son of a bitch.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I hope you guys enjoyed all of our Halo talk of what you could hear. If you'd like a separate podcast that we could do every week where I just talk about Halo, let us know in the comments.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We're not gonna do true mouse and keyboard support because you need a controller because it's just, we're doing X and A.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because then the, the Dark Souls 2, uh, release was like straight on PC. They're like, here it is. I think it was delayed like by a week. But the fact that they launched it on PC.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He finally got a coffee he can drink up here.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's what the man needs is more energy. Welcome back to the Duck Call Room. Sy will welcome you as soon as he gets his headset on.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, she don't have too much duck in dressing. Too many sage. She gonna have to get off of it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Run that back. That's a good thing about Sonic, you're sitting there so you can do that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The problem with them cheddar peppers though, you take a bite of it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh yeaah, different, yeaah, different variety.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Too hot? Oh, too hot. Well a bell pepper is technically a jalapeno, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, they just got in there and got the super tame ones and I mean like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Since the internet and filming and social media, people become obsessed with like, how hot of something can you eat?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He carried around the, uh, he's a reformed drug addict. This is a true story, he'll tell you if you ever run into it. And he found a way, he had this dropper of stuff that was just pure heat basically. And he would put it on his tongue because it's so hot.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That it like released endorphins and gave you like a little small high.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, but he had it in a dropper.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like before bed every night, put it on his tongue and you'd see like his face would change color. It was so hot, he'd be poor and sweat.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Without, to not do drugs? Uh huh. No, this was his, this was his high.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I agree. That Milano's place got some hot peppers too now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The little Italian joint right there behind El Sombrero. Oh, I've never been there. Behind the hat. Oh, is that any good?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Britney likes it, I don't care for it, but they got one, they got like one spicy chicken thing where they cut the jalapenos up and, and it's, it's edible. And they're hot.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But at their age too, man, even Christine, y'all had her.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, at that point, what are you trying to do? Be here til 120?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hey, business is expensive and complicated, but like for us, it's even more so because we've got several brands that operate out of one place, right? I'm trying to figure that out right now and start a website. See, that's what I'm talking about. It's so difficult. See, so you're going to want to listen to this because if you can do it all in one place, save you time, save you money.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Win, win, win, cause you need to save as much money as you can when you're doing a startup. So NetSuite is the number one cloud financial system bringing accounting, financial management, inventory, HR into one platform and one source of truth. With NetSuite you reduce IT costs because NetSuite lives in the cloud.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] One, Unified Business Management. You improve efficiency by bringing all your major business processes into one platform.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Slashing manual tasks and errors. Over 37,000 companies have already made the move. So do the math. See how you'll profit from NetSweep. Look, in this day and age, the bottom line keeps getting bigger.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A lot of times sales ain't. So you gotta save where you can save to keep everything running smoothly. That's just what it is. And NetSuite can help you doing that because you, you just, you have one platform. You're not paying this for accounting, this for inventory, this for HR. All these things are lumped into one, save you a ton of money.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's very important, especially in this day and age. And now through April 15th, NetSuite is offering a one-of-a-kind flexible financing program. Head to netsuite.com slash dot. That's netsuite.com slash dot. One more time netsuite.com slash dot.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, well that's the reason it wrapped up every Duck Dynasty episode. Really? Because it brings folks together.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When I said hey look, you just said it's garbage. See, time out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Where you and your brother struggle.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] On honesty, we all appreciate the truth.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Y'all's delivery suffers. You can be honest without being borderline hateful.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Take it. Hey, as a man, I look, hear me say I've suffered from poor presentation in the past myself. Yeah. Like I have. Can confirm. Yeah. I have suffered from poor presentation and I've gotten chewed out over it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So we all do it. But, you know. But when it's your wife. When it's your wife.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Which is tough. Especially when she on that sourdough bag so hard.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, anytime Tommy was here, if you got up to go back for a second, Tommy just glare at you the whole way.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We didn't do it. I told Phil the other day, I said, you misnamed your book. And he said, what are you talking about?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What is this? Uh, I may be wrong, but I don't think so. But I doubt it. But I doubt it. I said it should be, I may be wrong, but I'm a Robertson.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah, he was up here doing a promo for it and I told him he misnamed his book.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're gonna say, well, you shouldn't have, you should have. Oh, okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I will say, Stalin though, I'm glad you don't suffer from poor presentation anymore. Cause about once a month, your wife shows up here with a peanut butter pie for me and I don't know what I've done to deserve it, but praise God.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's right. I think that's a true, even if they are lippy. You got a lippy one. I got a lippy one. Stone got anti-lippy. Here's what I'll say about it. They both have almost or greater than 50 years of marriage behind them. So that is something, right?


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[Assistant] Just so it's not in the room. Cause she can't, I can.


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[Assistant] I mean I wake up when I hear them like call for making noise at night, but I don't wake up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, I give it to one eye, makes sure everybody good and then I'm right back asleep. If, if she hears anything at night, she'll wait.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then it takes her an hour to go back to sleep. It's, she's one of them. Now I can sleep through.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just about anything, but she's one that needs to stay in a little.


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[Assistant] Any man that'll wear himself and his nephews. Yeah. And Murray.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, the problem with Jace is he's had some questionable hat choices in the past, you know? He needs to stick to the waxed hat and the beanie during hunting.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I'm also talking about that weird little cowboy hat he's got on right there. That's got a band around it or something.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's all hat, no cattle right there buddy. I can tell you hat right now. That's daaang.


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[Assistant] Yeah, he'd have been good with Doc Holliday's crew. Running the casino. Pilfering everybody with a casino. He does that to his uncle on the weekly.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Again, it's not, I was wrong, it was, they sucked out.


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[Assistant] See, there you go. Way back to that, way back to that not admitting fault thing that they're so, uh, town renowned for. I don't know if their world or not, but maybe we're telling everybody.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I saw him one day, I saw him one day after like the day of the coloring of the beard. I was like, wait, what happened? That changed his beard? That changed color over.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, he had a look about, oh, the picture of him beardless. Yeah, it's worrisome. Yeah. Yeah, I don't know. I tried it. I've toyed one time with just like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wow, what a life. Look at it. He don't even look like the same guy.


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[Assistant] Yeaah. I mean, it was all prosthetic, obviously. Huh? No, he lost- Oh, real chop.


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[Assistant] My hunter should know, like he's the movie buff. That's why, that's why I brought him.


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[Assistant] Yeah, well now it's known, right? The first time you see it, it wasn't known, so then you kinda got adjusted to the, to what it was.


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[Assistant] I've never seen him without one and I don't want to see him without one. I bet the people want to see him without one. No!


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[Assistant] Yeah, mine gets length. It doesn't get any more girth. Mine gets weird. Yeah, yours will get up to your eyes. You look like Teen Wolf or something. You got that high beard going.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well look, our friend Mike, you obviously know him, Michael and Dale.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And since our fans have been so great at keeping them alive throughout the cancel culture stages, they want to pass savings directly onto you by having a $25 extravaganza. What's a $25 extravaganza? Well look, it's when Mike started MyPillow, it was just a solution to a problem in a one product company. But.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Now they have hundreds of amazing products and to get the word out, they're having a $25 extravaganza. You can get their two pack multi-use my pillows.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You name it. We got it. We got it. We use it. It's all on the website. Some of them are $25, some of them not, but get on there. Take on the $25 extravaganza and you're going to be happy you did.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The goblins say in the sheets, the slippers. Get the robe. I haven't worn the sandals yet, but I can guarantee you if anything like slippers, you're gonna be fine.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Get it all boys, it's all good. And you know what, Si? This amazing offer won't last long. So order now, just go to mypillow.com slash.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When I started here, we would shave like the day after duck season every time and then just kind of let it roll.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I mean it would have to be Duck Dynasty cause they wouldn't let us shave at all. Cause we had to keep, we had to keep the same look for if we had to reshoot anything or anything like that. So that's why my hair got all nappy and like, it was trash. My hair was trashy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh oh, see now you done, you done quit preaching and got the medal in there.


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[Assistant] Yeah, Phil. Ever happened. Phil rolled over in his grave. He saw what was happening around his office now. We got flowers. We got flower beds. Oh!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We got people cleaning the hall. Oh yeah. He created that look.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. It was a good look. And it's an ambiance. It's what people expect, right? And then they show up and everything's nice and neat and they're like, wait, hold on now, y'all faking it?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, mine didn't either till after it was gone. Then she was like, my, you better not ever let your hair do that again.


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[Assistant] And I said, I didn't want my hair to do that in the first place. I always kept my hair cut. I hated long hair.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then they just, they let it, they made it keep going and going. I was like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You, you go to Trail of Deer or something, your hair get caught in the briars. You're like, no, this sucks. Like this is, this is, this is just, oh wow.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Look, I know I was like wretched looking, like it ain't no, yeah, that's trash.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah, a person, for sure. A slightly overweight person between the three of us.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I found one a stone the other day, or somebody sent it to me or something, I was like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh man, yeaah, it was, it was wow, but that was, that's another thing that folks probably didn't notice.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I remember when they said, we're done. And I was like, done. They're like, yeah, done, done, done. I said, okay, I left right then and went and got a haircut.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Told the man, I said put that half inch guard on that, them clippers and just go around my head. Like, I want a half inch of hair, that's all I want.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The one that I remember like real bad is from The Wedding. Oh yea, that's a good one. That's from, uh, Benelli Presents Duck Commander there. That was before Duck


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, but it's trashy. Oh yeah. There you go. Yeah. My hair there was long buddy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it was pretty. Well, it's like the one poster that we sell and in there from when Lee chose, took it standing out in front of Mack Owens. How like not that one behind John David right now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I'm in the back and it's just, my face is twice the size. I'm behind y'all where you're supposed to look smaller and my face is twice the size of any of y'all's. Like, it's, but, ooh. There it is. Oh, that's the, that's the actual one. That's the wrestling. Jay, married in. There it is. Married in.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yep, that's it. That's when them boys jumped out of that deal naked, basically just in their wrestling tights and it was about 20 degrees on the bank of that river. Hacksaw Jim Duggan.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think maintenance shows you care. That, that don't mean you can't have a beard. Like for all, you know, I can grow a great beard, but you know,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Here's the problem with Johnny D though, you held on a little longer than the rest of us did. I was like, hey bro, just go get a hair. Well, that goes back to that key word, uh, lazy. And then he would, then he would cut his own hair once a year. I still do that. Do you really?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, that's, I mean. He got a lot of hair. This heart screw his hair up. He's got a thick. Cause even if you, even if you gap it, you ain't ever gonna notice. He got so much of it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, but you held on to the long look there. A little longer. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it was hilarious. Yeah, I remember that. I remember getting them videos.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, let's take a break before we get in that inbox and we'll be back out after this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hello at DuckCallRoom.com by the way. I've had people sending me messages saying they didn't know where to email me, so just in case.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Martin do you pee in pools? No, I don't pee in the pools, but I do pee in the ocean.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you, if you see me in water about waist deep, you can pretty much rest assured what I'm doing. There's a reason I got up and walked out there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Of course, we've lost like a couple of bathrooms here at the office the last couple of weeks. Yea, what's the deal? I don't know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause it's trashy. We're changing the look around here, I'm telling you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well don't, hey, don't worry about it. If they caught me on camera out there peeing behind my truck because all the bathrooms were taken, I mean, I had to pee and I couldn't wait. Hunter's in there bogarting the bathroom, I guess. I don't know. Hunter, what are you doing? I, I don't know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Are people doing that here? Yes! People are sitting on the toilet. Scrubbing through reels or something. And listening to things?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, he ain't from around here, so maybe that-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, we had to sign in our guest bathroom for a while that said if you're out of toilet paper, just text us. You know you're on, we know you're on your phone.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, you know, like, it's not a, you know, not a huge deal.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You? Who knows? You get on, you get on the pot. I don't text or tweet. I was going to say, you spend more time in the bathroom than any of us.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] 9-11. You in there about nine times. If you worked here right now, you'd be miserable. You'd have a, you'd have a trail beat out to the parking lot to go take a look.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean I use, I don't eat them as is. I use them as like a base. That's where I start. And then by the time I get done with it, it doesn't look like a frozen pizza.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Look, here's what I tell you. My honest thoughts on this. I thought it would work. Cause we got the man, right? Duh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I never dreamed we'd be 300 and something in still without any kind of script, timeline, follow through.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We just get in here and I think it's pretty evident that we just, yeah, there you go. There it is.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Um, that we just get in here and kind of spitball it and figure it out on every one of them, which I think is kind of a draw to us versus a scripted kind of.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Here's what we're going to do. You never know. Yeah. Which if you're looking for that and organization, we got one for, he's caught on the shame. Like they got all the stuff. I got the topics. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But we're just winging it. We're winging it, but I, you know, it's a different deal though. We remind people to laugh at themselves. I just never would have figured we could make it this far doing that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Different stories and experiences, our, our lives have drastically shifted. Like, I mean, for crying out loud, I got kids now. Uh, Johnny D doesn't even work here anymore.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I worked here when this started. That's what I'm saying. Like, and you, you're, you've been happily retired.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And here we are. Look at there. Ain't it just, ain't it just a bummer to sit around and laugh for an hour? Man, that sucks, right? We should nitpick. Yeah. Talk about the sad parts of life. We're out. We'll see you next time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hey, you're lovely. John David, you know you're falling for, falling for it, you know?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We were on our way to Jasis to film over there. I was told to pick up something to eat super fast. So I picked up cough drops and a sushi bowl.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Two other people, one person has it in their garage and it doesn't see the light.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] One day for sure, uh, I have this friend named Deja and she drives a yellow one and when we pass each other we wave like idiots because we both drive the same car.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But her dad's got my color Honda Fit. Oh, that's a family. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, that's the, uh, that's the Kia ones, right? The box.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What are those like phones that you can only call one number on it, like a ladybug phone or something? For children? Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You lost a kid, I found a new channel. You found a new channel? Yea, my wife found a new channel on TV.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, I aint young John Wayne. And look, the first thing I thought, y'all, it wasn't no, y'all wasn't no sound.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I said, oh, this is going way back. This is your solid movies.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Then the people start showing their young one of them, you know, he's writing everything down on a piece of paper and showing it to everybody to read, you know, Matt, Matt, the mute.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But he got it in what channel is this? Uh, 91 on 91 on the dish channels. Just.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, you don't know about Trigger? Yea, it's a horse, it's a palomino that Royal Roger rode. I was just making sure that that wasn't some actor's name. They actually, that wasn't his real name.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, he had another name. Okay. That's that blew my mind. All these years I've been thinking was trigger.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, that's a stage name, Flipper. And Air Bud's not Air Bud? And have you ever heard his laugh? Who? Flipper. Goblin can do it on a wood duck though. I said. I said. Pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up. It won't call a wood duck though.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Look, if you watched Western, you'd be as wise as I am right now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've called you seven times today. The phone rings and I say, well it may be broke again.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, it might not be, it is. Well, I say hello and hey, if you pause longer than one second, it's


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was, I knew it had to do something with, okay, I had the bottles of sage I had were either old or it's no good. So my wife, she bought some new.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, and this is called, this is called rubbed, sage rubbed.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's all I know, she googled it, come over. Well, this is already, we measured it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Pour it in. Powder. Huh? Powder. Well yeaah, yeaah. Sage is chopped up, uh, like a leaf. Yeaah. Yeaah. But anyway, it actually was two and a half tablespoons.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I used two of them, one for each bat, cause I made two bats.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] First thing Martin said when he said, buddy, you got the sage taste you wanted. I said, well, finally.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause it actually, no, cause it actually, you know, you know, uh, dressing is better.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh yeaah, I got better every time I- I'm an excellent one to work.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I'm, I'm, uh, you know, busted the mating up the head.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm going five times next year. I've already put in, put in a request. Five times.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That way I can go ahead and freeze some more wood ducks and then have dressin' when I want it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I moved 16 different ways. I fixed to go see Dancing with the Stars, boys.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When they invented the phone in the old school days.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You actually said hello and actually talked on it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know why, really, you know why I don't use phones? Why?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because one day, I'm wife, they bought me three.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I had my band and I had to go out and they wanted to get in touch with me. Well, I hit it because they said, okay, here's the home button. It turns it on. Well, I turned it on and hey, I got the cussing out of my life. From your phone? From the phone.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, no, look, my wife said well you had to do something. I said I did do something, darling. I touched the home button and turned this stupid thing on. Is this like when you went to the movies, Ted?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, someone on the other end foul-mouthed me for about five seconds.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, hey, look, all I did was sing the stupid advertisement.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It would be, it would be rated PG parallel. You got it. How?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I go there and it's about drugs, sex, rock and roll, everything that's dirty. And it was a teddy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When did Ted come out? Everybody said, didn't you see it was rated X? And I said, hey, it never said that when I watched it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I said, hey, it's about a stupid little bear. I thought it would be y'all, uh, y'all. Winnie the Pooh. BG, yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, that was a blown hundred dollars just, you know, I might have a little cigar with it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's right, we used to go to the drive-ins.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That don't sound like waitin' to me. He used to be over by the airport. Sound like he's doin' From the front seat, to the back seat, to the front seat, to the back seat. Sounds like you're doin' somethin' very folks do. And hey, we had so much fun.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well I had, I had a family tell me that they didn't watch the movie, they was watching what me and my girlfriend was doing and said that was the best movie they've ever seen. Where have we gone? Oh no, it's all in good fun. Nothing happened.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Now what? The kids, you'll run it. The kids will always try to sneak in and see if they can get away. Oh yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're not about no horror movies. Stars and cars.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it's free, just come up here and pull up the slot.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We would grew up, okay, that, you know, you just didn't wear a hat inside.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, that's one of the things that, you know, that's uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, I'm like Charlie Daniels on that. Hey, look, if I can't get it myself, y'all don't get mad at me because the way I look, you know, I like you just leave.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Thanks Martin, I was just grabbing my son's ponytail that entire time. That's a personal thing, okay?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He wants to wear long hair. That's up to him. Yeaah, that's true.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] People are going to look at you. You're going to buck the system a little bit. You're going to buck the system, but hey, you're going to have to answer for it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I will say. It's just a building, you know, so don't, you know, that's why I was saying the human thing comes into play here, being a human.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, here's the thing, if you're going to church,


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[Assistant] Well, no, no, I just, you know, hey, that's me.


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[Assistant] Alright, I just, I'm giving him everything I got.


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[Assistant] And I love that. Okay. Amen. That's why I was saying if you go there and you get to looking and you're nitpicking on what's happening that you disagree with.


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[Assistant] You know, from the first two, I was alright, I was at a level. But when they got to the third and fifth and sixth and seventh, I done gone beyond the level and I was screaming it.


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[Assistant] Okay, and one young lady at Newby went and sat down beside the older woman and said, darling, they're fixing to sing about ten of his songs and he ain't gonna do nothing but get louder and get involved more. If you, it bothers you, move about ten rows down.


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[Assistant] Oh no no, that's why I would love to hear Missy, Jason's wife.


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[Assistant] Just hey, forget about being in tune and in-key at all this junk. Woman, I would love to just see you let her fly one day. Okay. Isn't that what she does every time? No, no, she's all, hey, she'll bust your eardrums.


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[Assistant] Name him what? Name him Jesus. The name I would come up with would be Jesus.


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[Assistant] That's fine. Are we? Let's start it. Okay, so I don't, I didn't know what happened.


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[Assistant] I wasn't hosting, Beth just told me to start. Beth's in charge, I was just listening to her. Anyways, uhm, we're starting with the email. Yeaah. Because it's so very interesting.


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[Assistant] That we made it on TV, uh, but Steve from Weathersfield, Connecticut emails in.


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[Assistant] He said, I saw on the national news that the parade and the story behind it, the redneck Christmas parade just happened, Martin. Yeah, it was on.


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[Assistant] By the way, that's like, you can see it from this office basically.


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[Assistant] And, but I, I'm a little confused. He said all the stories I see on TV when I watch Duckdowd, I see a normal looking town, but never realized how bad things were and how sad West Monroe is.


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[Assistant] I, I, I did go watch it because I was so confused because they throw out like, toilet paper and ramen noodles. It's hilarious. They throw outside.


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[Assistant] But yeah, the Redneck Christmas Parade is just a, uh, it's, it's a staple around here. It's hilarious. We literally plan.


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[Assistant] I don't know what CNN's trying to pull here, but Redneck can be fun.


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[Assistant] You know where? Canada. Canada? 100%. That's Beth.


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[Assistant] Uh, here in America, in Canada, it's the more redneck you get.


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[Assistant] It's a fun time, but Steve, don't feel bad for us. It's like a joke that we play into and everybody I'm pretty sure loves it and they raise money for some kids.


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[Assistant] One way to find out, sir. Did he really? I bet he, they need to be.


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[Assistant] I thought, I was like, why am I thinking his last name is Fred?


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[Assistant] Anyway, if you see it on CNN and you think West Monroe's just an awful place, it's not. Alright, I got one more email to do. Go ahead. And I think we need to do this one cause Cody needs more redneck in his life.


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[Assistant] Exactly. Cody's from North Carolina, recently got engaged to the love of his life. Ready, set, boom. There's the picture.


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[Assistant] Anyways, he needs to be more redneck because his question is he needs advice on how to get through the wedding planning process.


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[Assistant] Okay, so he's been told that he's supposed to say yes ma'am a whole bunch. They've been engaged for a little over a month now and it's very clear to me at this point that anything I would like for the wedding is not happening.


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[Assistant] That Watson side of hers is very into cleanliness. Uhm, but no, cause, you know, we just got done with our birthday. And now I gotta figure out when we can't get her for our anniversary, which is like in a week. And then Christmas happens a week after that.


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[Assistant] I got three weeks of just all of it, but then you're done. Yeah. Right. So mother's covered boy. That's right. I'm yeah. I hit it all at once.


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[Assistant] She had a birthday present, didn't get here in time. It's an anniversary present now. There you go. That's good. She just gets the whole month of December and...


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[Assistant] You know, husband spends all the money. Not a, not a.


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[Assistant] Nah, then that's when you get in trouble. Allison's the tightwad in our family though. Is she? Oh yeah. I'm way more likely to make us go broke than she ever was.


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[Assistant] Like I'll buy stupid stuff just on a whim. Like, oh, that looks like fun. What are you looking at?


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[Assistant] Okay. Oh man. I wish, I wish so bad there was something coming out this Christmas because some rich kids would pay for mine. Cause their parents couldn't get it and they'd be on eBay buying it from me.


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[Assistant] Oh, you can make money on Legos. I've never got into that.


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[Assistant] You can sell some Legos. My uncle got into that for awhile. Have those people never stepped on one?


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[Assistant] Yeah. That's what they're stealing right now.


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[Assistant] I'm kind of on Hunter's side here. I've built one of the flower Legos with my wife. It was so, it was like a puzzle. Really? Yea. Have you ever done a puzzle?


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[Assistant] Then, and if you buy the right one, you can sell it on eBay and triple your money. Oh yeah.


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[Assistant] Huh. I ever tell you about the time my mom was selling Dale Earnhardt Jr. belly button rings on eBay?


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[Assistant] That paid for my whole family to go on a carnival cruise. Don't ever say I'm not redneck.


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[Assistant] All of them. Both of them. Both of them. Just a smooth transition. No, my mom, like in 2000, like when you had dial-up internet, so like 2000, 2001, 2002, she got super into eBay.


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[Assistant] And she would go buy stuff from like these jewelry markets.


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[Assistant] And the two best selling things she ever had, she could buy them for five bucks a piece, put them on eBay, and they would sell for $75. Ooh, $75. Dale Earnhardt Jr. and Jeff Gordon Belly Button Rings.


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[Assistant] It was a eight, it was, I remember it, it was red and there was a black eight right in the middle of it.


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[Assistant] Oh gosh, thank goodness that didn't say Honey Hold Tackle Shop beside it. That was them! Look, right now you get them for $29.99.


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[Assistant] Janis Owen made a fortune doing this. Oh, and you get senior ones.


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[Assistant] I don't know if she has seniors. That's junior and senior. Those are belly button rings. Uh huh. I'm trying to think of what else Janice sold on eBay.


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[Assistant] That's all I remember. She had this big ol' camera, she'd take pictures of stuff, and she would ship it out.


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[Assistant] And every once in a while we save a pair of Jordans, just depends on how bad you want them.


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[Assistant] We ain't a get selling nothing in my family. That's how drugs is where we draw the line.


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[Assistant] Anything else? Crickets? Worms? Playstations? Belly button rings? Jordans? Supply and demand? It's just a basic economics.


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[Assistant] That I will believe. I mean, you'll believe anything at this point.


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[Assistant] They got Christmas presents that are a subscription. There you go. I'm watching you, Mark Rober and your Crunch Labs. You could get canceled by Rocket Money at any minute if my kids ain't playing with them toys.


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[Assistant] Martin, Martin doesn't know. Texas is good.


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[Assistant] But they should have put Florida State in, everybody agrees. Their third string quarterback is better than every quarterback on the Saints.


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[Assistant] Tyson is the best football player on the planet and I'll go down swinging if anybody challenges that.


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[Assistant] So you did the whole like, Hey, we're going duck hunting tomorrow. We're going to leave tonight.


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[Assistant] No, no. You're asking me to walk away? You know why this is such a beautiful creature?


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[Assistant] Okay, I'm telling you, you could take that dog right there if he's German trained and take him in a restaurant and put a steak in front of him and he had sit there the whole time and watch you eat it.


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[Assistant] Okay, beautiful dog. And his name is perfect. Okay.


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[Assistant] That's the way I pronounce it. Is it right? Chibity? Yea. It was a dangerous spelling. Yea, it was a dangerous spelling though.


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[Assistant] Yeah. Hey warning. Okay. In other words, my, my.


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[Assistant] What happened to me and how I, I handled it.


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[Assistant] You kids ever heard of nom? No, no, no, no. Here's the deal. Okay. For me personally, growing up was a pain in the rear.


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[Assistant] Okay, it was scary. Okay, I really didn't know how to, uh.


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[Assistant] Handle it? Time out. Is one good way, okay? But I was not mature enough, okay, that's the reason college was not for me. Okay, I wasn't mature enough to handle it.


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[Assistant] Okay, but here's my advice to you.


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[Assistant] Cause I don't want to scare you. It is scary growing up. That's just like when you get married. Okay. That's scary too, because I look, you know, the only book written for all of this is, and that's why I want to get to tell you, here's my advice to you. I tell people all the time, especially youngsters. Okay. Look, put Jesus in your pocket shirt pocket.


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[Assistant] Okay, and I'll let him go further. You really can't put him in your shirt pocket, but you can keep him in your heart and mind.


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[Assistant] Okay, and everywhere you go, you gotta remember, I'm taking Jesus with me. Do I really want to take Jesus where that, where I'm going?


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[Assistant] Okay. If you came with a clean conscience, go somewhere with Jesus with you. Okay. You don't need to go there. That will help you out. Yo.


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[Assistant] Tremendously, but yeah, here's my advice to you. You'll be an adult.


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[Assistant] Okay, we gotta, you gotta grow up sometime is what they told me. Okay.


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[Assistant] Hey, I know it. Okay. Okay. So look, that's my problem.


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[Assistant] Okay, your problem is, okay, your choice is to either grow up or he's a stale child like I did.


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[Assistant] Well, I know, I know. I know. Context closed. I, it's inapparent, okay, it's inapparent cause I had a buddy of mine. He asked me one time, said, Hey, where did I go wrong? Yeah.


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[Assistant] I did the best I could do and I gave him and I said, look, you didn't have but one problem.


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[Assistant] You loved your kids just like you're supposed to. Amen. And you gave them too much. Okay.


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[Assistant] Okay. You know, and all that is you love them too much. You want to give them a better life than you had. Absolutely. Okay. That's what his parents did. But here's the thing.


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[Assistant] Hey, you have to admit, okay, y'all keep saying about idea growth to a point.


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[Assistant] But hey, let me get, let me remind you, here's the two key things.


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[Assistant] Like I said, keep Jesus in your heart and mind. Amen. And then, okay.


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[Assistant] Hey, becoming an adult sucks. Okay. That's true. You're going to learn that. Okay. But I am just telling the truth. It sucks. Okay. But hey, you're going to do it. And then the other thing is, okay. Hey, look.


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[Assistant] Laughter cures all illnesses.


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[Assistant] Yeah, learn to laugh and keep laughing. Okay. Cause hey, you're just going to look, say one day, you know.


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[Assistant] Everything that's happening around me and everything that I'm involved in and everything about me and my life sucks.


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[Assistant] Yes, you're a good employee and I'll give you a raise, or no, you need to work on, you need to work a little harder. This, this, and this, yeaah.


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[Assistant] Don't gotta say green light or red light and he won't say the one.


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[Assistant] Look, the only reason Willie killed Bobby Brown yesterday or the day before yesterday is because last year I let him walk and I should have shot him.


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[Assistant] So we missed, what happened was, we misjudged the age. Okay, cause I should have shot him later.


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[Assistant] Well, I, there is, well, see there is deer management. Yes, because there's a human involved in the deer management.


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[Assistant] But sometimes being the human element, okay, we misjudge.


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[Assistant] No, well that shows, you know, that shows, you know, grown up and I, I ain't grown up yet. That's what I'm saying. I'm still a kid.


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[Assistant] Well that's the time that when I shoot and like multiples fall.


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[Assistant] And everybody's high five and all that and all Jason them down there and say, Oh boy, I killed him in there. And I said, Jason, now you killed Dooley squat. I said, you shoot the slug. All you did was make a splash. I said, the reason multiples fail is I'm shooting this open bore.


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[Assistant] Used to, no, no, used to I would have said, okay, if you said, okay, back in the day, who was a bear? I'd be Phil Roberts.


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[Assistant] Well, anyway, for all of us, that would be a hard one to say anymore on the best one. Yeah. Oh yeah.


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[Assistant] I will say this, if you say, okay, who can kill them? The fatherist, the fatherist.


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[Assistant] The longest shot, it used to be Phil Robertson, now it ain't. Nope. Jace has got that. Okay. Cause I've seen him kill ducks that.


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[Assistant] They shouldn't have failed when they did. I've seen that too. Okay. And I mean, this is just what, you know, you could figure it when you get a 10 gate, but he does it with just 20 out your 12 gate.


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[Assistant] Cause everybody else will reach, they will stand up and look and then say, nah, a little too far. And then it's BOOM!


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[Assistant] About 150 yards. And shut off the door. I want to say, I want the computer. I'll tell you a piece of junk.


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[Assistant] Well hey, cause I'm telling you, you know, they all say all this trash all the time, all that. Me and Stone go down south and hunt the marshes. Hey, I'm gonna get mine. No, he's still solid.


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[Assistant] And you ain't down there on the end in the good spot. And I ain't, you know, I'm in the middle and they normally have got a oak tree stacked on top of me. If you watch our latest video.


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[Assistant] Cause if I would have done it, I'd have killed three for three, maybe four for three, but I stood up and then I missed once. Yeah. So now, so you, hey, here's the deal. The man calling the shots has got.


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[Assistant] Oh, he's got a 25% more chance of killing than you do. Okay. Cause if I call it, I'm gonna get three. I would agree. Cause I've got the first shot. Okay.


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[Assistant] When somebody else is calling it, that means you gotta hear BOOM!


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[Assistant] You know, cause, you know, shoot him, he's already pulled his trigger.


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[Assistant] No, no, cause I was fixing to tell you Jason Robinson ain't going to ever say he missed it. Guilty. Okay.


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[Assistant] Now me, I will tell you, hey, guess what? You got him in right, you called it, and guess what I did? I went zero for three.


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[Assistant] 15 come in. Okay. And they do what they should not do. They do. They come together.


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[Assistant] 15 come in and they killed all 15 of them. It ain't no camera work.


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[Assistant] They know what they're doing, they kill 15 for 15.


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[Assistant] Oh yeaah. The way you get jumpy, anybody makes mistakes and can miss.


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[Assistant] That's why, look, they named one of the videos, hey, the art.


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[Assistant] Yeah, but here's the deal that, okay, that they all can't deny. Okay, they come here, Jace come in up blind one morning and said, guys, guess what? And we all said what? He said, hey, I think we ought to abide.


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[Assistant] And I, and I said, buy what? He said, oh, they've got, they've got color-coded shotgun shells.


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[Assistant] And I said, I said, wait a minute, wait a minute, what are you talking about? He said, oh, you can buy, you know, the shot, the shot.


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[Assistant] I said right now we can argue about it. I said you boys let me buy a colored shell.


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[Assistant] And I said, you're going to be, it's going to be a lot of hurt feelings in this.


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[Assistant] They already, it's great when you eat leftovers and you ain't ate yet. Now you went and ate with all your family. Yeah.


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[Assistant] Hey, so hey, as soon as it, you know, hey, carving and hey, we're, we're tasting it as a carving. Then they said, Hey, dig in. I guess it was first.


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[Assistant] What? Huh? Yeah, I'm gonna tell Stone, hey, bring me two woodies or two teal. Well, I can boil them and make my own dressing.


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[Assistant] It's all hot and it's ready. Let's eat.


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[Assistant] Yeah, that way. Hey, you know, tomorrow I'll have me two pots of dressing. Hey, one, I want to come meet with you.


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[Assistant] Yes, I did. I just, oh man. Take a break. Sorry about the email.


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[Assistant] And take out this amount and go go get you some jewelry. It's a good thing I was married for so long. That sounded quasi-legal. And it's a very nice amount.


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[Assistant] That's all making sense. Well, no, no. All right, big dog. All she did was what I told her. I said, uh, yeah, I'm really sorry about not remembering your birthday. She just laughed. What day did you tell her? She's probably on the 20th of November. What day is your birthday?


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[Assistant] It's been, no, it hasn't been weeks. Well, I mean, today's been a couple of days. It's been a couple of days. So it was a week. So a couple days later? No.


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[Assistant] Well, she just laughed because I'm telling you she was already thinking about, hey, getting into my checking account and doing what she wants to do.


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[Assistant] Earrings, necklace. Oh, yeaah.


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[Assistant] Hold it. Hold it. Hold it. Hold it. Hold it. Hold it. Hold it. Hold it.


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[Assistant] Okay, let's see if we want her dating you. She might not be good enough, Hunter.


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[Assistant] Bedroom, yeah, the bedroom. South, no, southern girl.


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[Assistant] Virginia, by the way, they keep trying boys, the Western part of Virginia. Oh, that is not what me, Jason, gun, John, Guy Winslow. Okay. Well.


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[Assistant] Hey, but hey, look, tell the girl of West Virginia, hey, he ain't got the ball and chain wrapped around him yet, so hey, he's still available.


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[Assistant] Hey, I gotta remind you of a song, loving two women is like a ball of a chain. Loving two women? Yeah.


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[Assistant] But, Si's got all his old country on there too.


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[Assistant] But, but look, here's the reason why I need it, because when me and Cy are going somewhere, flying a lot, he likes to listen to it with the headphones on. Yea, I get bored easy. Yea, and he doesn't have Sirius XM on his truck, so we have to plug in the phone.


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[Assistant] Table for two, way in the back. That actually was talking about stoves in Ruston, Louisiana. Yep.


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[Assistant] I have no idea. When they wrote that song. Oh. It's a good song. Yep. Old Kicks Brooks.


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[Assistant] That's true, but the thing about that was people were lined up and hearing and talking to Si and getting stories and everybody else was on the other side like, what's going on here? You know, so that was pretty interesting.


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[Assistant] Hey, take Sy with you because she came up to the table where we were sitting and hugged Sy. That's a good deal to take Sy with you. Sy, you want to just drive to Oklahoma?


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[Assistant] And he's about four hundo. Why they call him tank? I don't know. Hey, but he's awesome. Him and him and his wife.


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[Assistant] So he's the size of a fridge rider. He's a big boy. But he dances good. He's a great dancer.


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[Assistant] Him and his daughter. We went through a lot of things and him and I love the way he interacts with his daughter. Uh, when you see a dad and daughter dancing and having a great time, I always like that kind of stuff.


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[Assistant] Oh, by the way, let me tell you about this. This is exciting. So I got a phone call before we started the podcast and you know, we're doing something for the Homes of Hope. It's like the ninth or tenth annual Uncle Si skeet shoot. Okay.


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[Assistant] So the guy calls me and says, you know, uh, I'm going to have a special guest for Side of Meat. It's George and Tammy's daughter, Georgette. Who's going to meet you at the event. George Jones?


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[Assistant] When Martin puts his eyeball on the mic, I know there's something wrong.


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[Assistant] Yep, yeaah, we went to a birthday celebration with our buddy. It's nice doing birthday parties, that's cool.


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[Assistant] When we stopped to fuel up, I left my phone somewhere. That's true too. At the airport. Yeaah. Denver. Yeaah.


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[Assistant] Whatever's a fair deal. What about the glasses the sunglasses I used to wear? Which ones? Battle Visions. Oh lord. They weren't sunglasses. We lost all of those. Thank god.


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[Assistant] I wanna ask Christine, cause she's the one that purchased them, I'm sure.


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[Assistant] Hey, what's happening? You know what? I do know what.


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[Assistant] That's right. And look, me and my wife have been drinking it, and we love it, and it's made us feel better. Look, we don't have the brain fog, it's like you're clear, you can think. When you don't drink your AG1, you're gonna know it.


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[Assistant] Well, let me tell you why. Because every time he gets a robo call, he's like, yep, that's what I thought. He picks it up. He's like, hmm.


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[Assistant] Yeah, and so now the phone's not working and he's surprised? Oh no, I'm on an official robo-


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[Assistant] Yeah, so it was flying over and it was actually a mosquito dropping mosquito spray. Okay. And somebody- That's what's wrong with all of us. And somebody in Malkinville shot it down. What? Yeah.


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[Assistant] Was it a? No, no, hi. It was a drone. Oh, a drone. And scared side of it. I thought it was like.


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[Assistant] No, it was a drone that was spraying from mosquitoes and somebody in Bockeville shot it down. See, well I said that about the pigeon. Pigeon ain't gonna make it. Nope.


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[Assistant] Let me tell y'all a story. If you think you're a pretty good shooter, like me, I can hit skeet, I'm pretty good.


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[Assistant] Well, don't go up against Martin, Godwin, Si, and Stone, because we were in the back of a boat in the Key West, and they were throwing skeet, but you're doing like this.


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[Assistant] And you're shooting, alright, trying to hit him. And we said, whoever is, does the worst has to pick up every shell. And I was thinking, it ain't going to be me.


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[Assistant] What a day. Sy loves the weirdest pizza. You never guess what he puts on it.


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[Assistant] I'll judge you. Not fruit. Let's tell them, Cy.


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[Assistant] I'll tell you what we ate for the first time ever in Oklahoma. It's called... Zitty?


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[Assistant] Zeedy? Zeedy. Yeah. Posseedy. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. First time we ever ate it. And look, I didn't think I would like it, but it was great.


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[Assistant] I'll eat it cause I'm fat and I'm like that but I'm big and I'm fat and that's that. Back me up, son.


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[Assistant] Oh no, never heard it. That's why it's not on my playlist. Yeah, it shouldn't be.


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[Assistant] Sorry, give us a demonstration. No! No!


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[Assistant] So I was thinking about this song.


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[Assistant] I hope this guy's not a dentist, you know, or some kind of doctor that has to use his hands for something.


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[Assistant] I am Britney's in the house, and one of them's doing flips. Now, which one is this? That's Jackson.


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[Assistant] We're going back to Jackson. And Waylon is just staring at that bell. Oh, now he's eating the bell.


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[Assistant] We had to do that with Mario and Luigi one year, so it makes sense. We typecast them, it's fine.


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[Assistant] So he's not the Tennessean. He's got the Louisiana.


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[Assistant] So this is what y'all go through for like 12 hours a day.


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[Assistant] He just went all out, he said, you have no choice sir, you're going to put me down.


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[Assistant] That's pretty impressive to be born at the same time. Cause five pounds at this age is like...


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[Assistant] So this is what y'all do on a daily basis. You start something, you take a break because the kids go wild.


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[Assistant] You let them do whatever they need to do, which includes playing with bottles on the floor.


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[Assistant] So how'd trick-or-treating go? Was it good? Were we, were we restless?


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[Assistant] Oh, he's just getting predictions from the Don. Yeah. Yeah. Well, we'll see how that goes.


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[Assistant] Halloween November 1st, I would hate to be an elementary teacher.


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[Assistant] It's a bold thing to talk about, but I feel like it needs to be addressed.


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[Assistant] Carter's still into it. Yeah. Benz, Benz is a, my son is a genius.


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[Assistant] Sigh. This kid, so, you know, we're not huge Halloween people. We're very, we, you know, getcha costume. Carter was a stormtrooper. I don't know what Benz was. It's something from a video game. He was red. I don't get it. There you go.


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[Assistant] Well then, all these people thought he just wasn't getting much candy because his bucket was empty. So they started piling him up. I said, this sucker, he walked back with a sack, a bucket, he was ready.


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[Assistant] Then he got mad at me because I had to hold his mask full of candy. And he, he handed it back to me and goes, dad, is this lighter than it was? And I was like, okay, calm down. Taxes.


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[Assistant] But it's just wild to me that we're- But what got me was the attitude they all had. Did anybody think you were dressed up as Uncle Cypher?


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[Assistant] How you been feeling? I've been feeling pretty good. Me too. What about you? Hey, you wanna know why? Why? Cause we're just regular dudes that make sure we get all the vitamins, minerals, supplements and everything we need by drinking AG1 every morning. That's it. Hey, if you're a long time listener, you might know about it.


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[Assistant] But if you're not, we're here to tell you AG1, we've been with them for two or three years.


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[Assistant] I started drinking AG1 daily. You just feel better. You're ready to conquer your day, Sy. Are you ready to conquer your day? Alright, ready?


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[Assistant] Hey, that's what I'm talking about. That's because AG1 is a foundational nutrition supplement that supports your body's universal needs like gut optimization, stress management, and immune support. Since 2010, AG1 has led the future of foundational nutrition continuously refining their formula to create a smarter, better way to elevate your baseline health. Not only do you replace that


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[Assistant] Every scoop's gonna have all that in it cause it's got prebiotics, probiotics, and digestive enzymes for gut support. Vitamin C and zinc to help support your immune health. Adaptogens to help balance your body stress levels.


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[Assistant] I recommend it to everybody. I know. I know Philip McMillan's been drinking it. His wife drinks it. We all love it. AG1 is a supplement I trust to provide the support my body needs daily. And that's why they've been a partner for so long. If you want to take ownership over your health, it starts with AG1. Try AG1 and get a free one year supply of vitamin D3K2.


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[Assistant] And five free AG1 travel packs with your first purchase. Go to www.drinkag1.com


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[Assistant] That's drinkag1.com slash duck. Check it out. And one scoop will do it.


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[Assistant] You know, there's people that live in parts of the world that think we're just like wild. Like we had an alligator on the playground last week. Now we've got deers with tags in their ears, eating our flower beds.


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[Assistant] I have absolutely no doubt. It's going to be awful. The time change, I don't know if it was Benjamin Franklin or Satan himself that came up with the idea of like just switching the clocks every now and again for fun, but I hate the person that did.


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[Assistant] Yeah, so between 5.30 and 6 is what it's just gonna be. Okay. And then you gotta just work to get them back to 6.30 and 7.


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[Assistant] You know, every year some politician makes some promise and I believe him. And I'm done beli-


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[Assistant] So allegedly, we're waiting for the whole co- Louisiana's like, hey, we're in if the whole country's in. Oh.


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[Assistant] It's garbage. It's going to be dark at like 5 15. And I know some of you people where it's different than me are going to be like, well, if they don't change, it'll be dark at 4 15 here. Well move. Yeah. I want what's best for me. Cause I'm selfish.


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[Assistant] It is weird, cause I do understand there's like, in Montana, like in the summer, it stays light, the weird time. I feel like if we all just stick to one time.


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[Assistant] At the end of the day. At the end of the day. I don't know, Martin. Wait a minute, we're into daylight savings right now?


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[Assistant] Technically we're in daylight savings whenever we change the clock we'll be in standard rig time.


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[Assistant] Rocket money let me know that my gas bill went up three, three dollars last month. Really? Yeah, which is good because it's about to skyrocket because it's cold outside.


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[Assistant] But now people can't be funny, they have to like, be funny and take a stand for some reason. When it's way funnier to just say...


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[Assistant] But now, you know, it's the Republican Dirty Tricks team because we're not allowed to eat beef or something.


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[Assistant] This is the greatest show. Uhm, they should make a movie like that about you.


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[Assistant] Is he? Yeaah. He's 97, so I don't think he's gonna play you in the musical. Bye.


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[Assistant] Also, we are going into political season, and remember that.


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[Assistant] Life's too short, so no matter how many things you get in your mailbox,


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[Assistant] I gotta be honest, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna tell a bad thing of myself.


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[Assistant] I did not vote in the last election that was like a month ago. Really? I didn't, I got so much mail and so much stuff and I was like, I know who I'm voting for, whatever. I'm moving it like, okay, good. But it was in so many text messages and so many times my phone would ring and say political call and I would ignore it that I,


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[Assistant] Mr. Governor, if you're listening, I have, uh, advice on how to fix the fishing and hunting license disaster that the previous governor has let happen. I doubt you're listening, Mr. Governor, but I'm here for you.


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[Assistant] Oh, I could do it. TP Outdoors is with me. We're tired of what y'all have done.


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[Assistant] I'm sorry. Uh, here's one of my favorite things that ever happens. Uhm, the subject line is, In a Duck Dynasty episode. Uh oh. Okay. So you never know.


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[Assistant] On an episode of Duck Dynasty, they went to buy wood decoys from a guy for a thousand dollars a piece. Oh, skippy coove yawn. And they talked about hanging a duck until the inside liquefied, then drinking it from its rear end. Is this really a thing?


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[Assistant] Yeah, and skippycubion probably does it. Yeah.


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[Assistant] Alright, alright, and then this is, I might have got the wildest email we've ever got.


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[Assistant] We've had some now. I mean, I'm telling you, but it gives hope for people like me and you, Martin, although we don't technically need it. Okay. Cause we are married. Okay. Um, LB, she didn't want to throw her name on this one. LB. Just curious, is Burley single? I hope so. This Iowa lady thinks he is hot.


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[Assistant] I'm for it LB because I feel like I got a good chance of looking a lot like Burley one day, but Burley's a happily married man.


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[Assistant] Yeah, whenever I had my EKG done the other day, it was Abby, his daughter, also a nurse. I was like, she was like, if you just lift up your shirt, I gotta say, well, this doesn't have to be awkward. We only went to church together our whole lives to know each other. It's just Burley's daughter. This is weird. But yeah, their whole family.


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[Assistant] And then, uh, moving on because I'm scared of Burley. Uh, not really. Burley is the nicest man in the world. We've really missed a mark on this podcast.


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[Assistant] We have fans email in and we have never done a contest for Uncle Si as Halloween and we should've. Oh, we have a bunch of them? Do you know how many pictures of babies I have received?


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[Assistant] Alright, you get that. I'm gonna sell one more picture. He's bringing out sex. That first one was from, uh, uh, Donald. And then this one is from Kate. Kate and Sy from Clinton, Illinois. This poor baby is dressed up as Sy and his name is Silas. And he brand new.


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[Assistant] All of them. Some guy wants to go to San Antonio. Hold on, where's it at?


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[Assistant] If you're picking up tacos from Texas, where you stop in San Antonio or Austin.


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[Assistant] No, that's it. We're gonna kick it out of here with a Bible verse. First Thessalonians 5. I'm gonna read a whole bunch of verses.


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[Assistant] Starts in 16. Rejoice always. Pray continually. Give thanks in all circumstances for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.