[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I know, I thought, are you gay? Because that was like a long time to go without girls.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'll take it. I love it. Yeah, he's like I left it like right away from his run and go travel. I just fucking left. I was like bye. I was like, okay cool. But yeah, I can see that for sure. I'll take it. It's fine. Whatever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He had a bruises, so of course he's like, oh my god, like look, and I was just like, I didn't do it like on purpose, I was like, that, you know what I mean? It was a tough life.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well then I took his keys and so he was trying to get the keys back. But can I say...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How long do we fight for the keys? Like, 12 hours? Off and on?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No tussling. I have all access to Instagram accounts, phones.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, I always know when you guys are texting him, like, I always just know. Like, even before, when you guys were texting him, like, what's the tweets? Like, what are these about? I'm like, don't fucking respond, like, way early on. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I love it, I know the group chat, so. I know so much actually.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm just saying I know everything about, I know a lot, even about like your, I just know everything about your family and stuff, so. Anyways.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Break up, which is like, we weren't like officially dating, but like, the first time we took like a break for two weeks or whatever, uhm, from talking was the day before my birthday.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And literally the next day, an Israeli man shows up to my house with a gun. And, okay, I didn't know at first. First he shows up. Oh god, I shouldn't say this. He's basically, this is it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's your fan, sees me on the H3 podcast, cause my friend was there cause it was my birthday. So I had my gate open so people could have like deliveries come through and stuff cause I knew I was gonna get flowers and shit. So I was like, let me just have this open. And this is like 12 hours after I told Moses to never talk to me again sort of thing. All of a sudden an Israeli shows up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, like, who are you, and blah blah, and he's like, oh, and he's like, how did you know, like, I just need to talk to Trisha, like, I'm in love with her, she needs love, like, she's gonna die soon, like, I need to give her love, like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, why, okay, so then he's, I guess he said he saw, so basically he got, Cedric got like his name and number because he was like, what the hell, like this is weird, so he got his name and number, he talked to him for a minute, whatever, and then he kept calling my friend and was like, uhm, what's happening, what's happening, he goes, I saw her on The Bachelorette, like she, I need to love her because she's about, yeah, exactly.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, he watches the show, so anyways, so he's like, I know age three, like he said it like that, like as if it was a person and he's like, I'm Israeli and I was in the Israeli, oh, he's the same age because I looked him up. He left his real name and number, which was very weird, but anyways, um, so,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's like, he goes, he was the same age as, like, Moses in the military. I was like, oh, this is weird. So I really did think Moses, like, was trying to set me up to, like, die. Like, I thought he, like, hired a hitman or whatever. And then, like, cause you always hear that, like, you, like, tell someone to never talk to you again and then they, like, kill you the next day. So then I was like, oh shit. So then anyways, he, he left.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, anyways, so please come. This is the fucking craziest things. Arrest him, right? I guess book him. I don't know the word.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Look at the events. I don't know like what happened, but I guess I don't know what happened with them. Obviously they both at some point left, but he came back a week later and this is when Moses and I reconnected because he came back a week later, jumped the fence. Oh, so I had the security 24 hours for a week. The guy comes back. Well, he came back that night at two. So, so Shane and Rylan came over to celebrate my birthday on May 8th.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm Israeli, I was in the military, I know H3, like it was all of that and I was just thinking like, uhm, I'm being set up to be killed and it's because of you and Moses and Elam.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, but here's, I don't even know I should say this, but this is why I have fucking, now I have two security because when one takes a bathroom break, I gotta have like another one on guard. You know what I mean? But uhm. You have a small.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well then, like, I guess after the, the, the week he came back, the private detective, like, called him, I guess, cause he gave the name a number.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was like, hey, Lutrich Alon is like, oh, I'm so sorry. And then I guess he got scared and called the detective back. I was like, oh, I sent her some gifts. Like I don't want to get arrested. Cause he had a, he had a kid with him.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I think that's it, because I never used to get, like, ever this, and I think because I started doing, like, OnlyFans, because even after, like, the Adam 22, like, collab and Lena, like, I got really weird people in my house, and that's just actually another reason. Me and Moses, the time we broke up and got back together was because I was in crisis, because the second time we got back together was, like, in July.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And my security was like, Hey, there's like people like casing your house, but we didn't like definitely wasn't fans of mine. And, um, and then that time too. Oh, well, I don't know if I should say all this, but I mean.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] At this point, like, the person got into my house, like when I was taking a shower.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wait, we didn't even talk about you. We can't wrap it up. We didn't even talk about you. Your family issues. And your relationship issues.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You guys are so funny because I was awkward when I came here, but you guys are like hella awkward too, so it just makes everything awkward. Like you guys aren't like lovey-dovey all over each other.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was just saying, you know what was super impressive about Moses? That day I threw my keys over, I threw his keys over my belt, my gate, you know, like the really tall gate, like what, like eight foot gate. He just hopped over it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, I know like, lay like, hack, pot, like, like my pussies, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Maybe we'll talk about TikTok next time. Sure. That's exciting. Tune in for that. Keemstar?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, we missed a week, and I think we all felt that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, but it's not s- the thing is like, it's still not safe.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If, if, if I just found out that someone in my bubble has been infected, you're supposed to quarantine for like, you know, 10 days.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I tested positive. So I was like, oh fuck that, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, we cancelled all of our plans for the whole week, it was awful, you know, it was horrible. And I, I, I, I was very, I was very sad too, that we had, and today we almost had to cancel again because our power was out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And you know what was especially sad is that we have such a fun, fantastic episode planned to the T. And, you know, listen, I don't get, I don't have much in life. And I've never mooped bang, let alone with a fondue set.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That is, like, the most unattractive thing I can imagine. Why? Hitties out and everything.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Why would people pay to see that? They can watch it now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like just my dick hangling out, I mean nobody wants to see that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Let's, let's change the topic. Let's do a hard left turn.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause he's got like a cult, dude. I know. He's found some nexium shit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, before we get started with this, first of all thank you to Adam and Eve for sponsoring this episode.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Let's wait, we'll talk about, we'll give them all the love in the world in about 30 minutes. And I also wanna say, Trisha, and I'm, I'm sorry, I know you're not gonna like this, but I'm having a teddy, cause you're gonna be like, why are you promoting your own shit in our show? Even though you do it all the time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Teddy Fresh, Black Friday sale, 30-50% off everything. Go ahead, head on over to teddyfresh.com and see if there's anything good you like there because it's 30-50% off. We're doing Black Friday for the whole month of November because fuck 2020.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, let's get to the cheese. I've got like so much I wanna talk about but I feel like we should just get to the cheese cause everything is-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You eat talk, that's what the mukbang is? Which part's muk and which part's bang?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, well I cooked some steaks, so let's get those out before they go rotten, and I don't need any help having diarrhea tonight, so let's not eat rotten meat. Okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, we both get two, I'm a fat fucking monster, we each get two.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then do we trigger a warning to obese people too? What's the warning to them?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is the destructive cheese. And then we're gonna see if we can...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Was that good? Oh yeaah, so here, so here would you want, do you want some?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wow. I mean, it's a lot, it tastes like cheese. It's pretty good, y'all. I mean, I'm not gonna hate on it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think there's not enough cheese on it, like, my ideal bite is like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Can you see how fucking gross the table is? Okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm still under 200, are you? Am I under 200? What does it look like?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well to be honest, I don't think I can eat more steak. I'm like done. But I'll wait for you. I have questions for you if you wanna keep going.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You claim that you don't know what- I- a lot of people go, does Trisha play up her like, ignorance?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] With like, the holocaust and climate change and- I personally flip-flop between yes and no.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] See, that's what I mean. What do you want me to do? You go, what does it mean that you s- I start talking about climate change and you go, oh, what's gonna happen if the ice melts? I was like, well, like, millions of people would be displaced.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Climate change is when there's a bunch of greenhouse gases in the atmosphere and so it's causing the globe to heat up from man-made


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Don't you care that we're in a, like a 100 year drought in California? That's part of climate change.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You say you don't know what the Holocaust is. Yet in a video from 2012, you said this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What book, what book have you read about the Holocaust?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wait, how can you say in 2012 that you are into Holocaust literature, but then fast forward from two weeks ago, you're like, wait, Hitler did what?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Let me get this straight, you couldn't finish Schindler's List because it made you so uncomfortable.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Imagine how the Jews felt, and you can't even finish Schindler's List.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Thank you, AB. Please work. Oh no, it's pretty stringy, you guys.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What do you mean potato? Like you, you, you like just mix like mashed potato?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What do we think? Is this working? I mean, kind of.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, I think, I think, I mean, this looks really disgusting. It has looked like this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, bring a funny one. Bring one that's interesting. Prick. Pretzel? Not interesting.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's a bowl of fruit loops. We're going to do cereal with cheese.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, ready? Cheers. Oh, that's sma-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yah, well, Yahweh is the acronym, because you're not supposed to, you can say Yahweh, right? Oh, you're not, oh fuck!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That would be pretty, that would be pretty amazing maybe for a charity event.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I wonder if we should sell out like the Staples Center just for a big ass wrestling ring.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There you go, here's your Froot Loops and Cheese Cereal.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I never even heard of it. It's like that next, the Netflix phenomenon where your homepage is dramatically different than other people's, you know, based on what you watch.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Mix up the milk. I don't know if it needs more milk, but I'm just gonna mix it up here.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, wait, are you telling me that uhm, that cow milk, that milk is from cows implies that you didn't, there was a point recently where you didn't know that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What do you, what do you mean cow pus? Like, you know, it's like milk, you know, like all mammals, they lactate. That's, that's part of what it means to be a mammal.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Exactly, like you're able to use this eyeballs and fucking skin and bones. It's like, I'm supposed to be gross out of that. I think it's amazing that you can use these parts of the animals we don't want into this beautiful delicious little fucking


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think so. I think it's important to, to, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I didn't give, I just, I've been posting. I posted some, you know, I love this guy, he's my favorite, the yellow eyes, he goes, I ain't never seen two pretty best friends. One of them always got it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't mind it, but I don't like these stick boys. I like my little...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is definitely the worst episode we've ever done. And I say that with peace and love.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You think I've got like, would you consider that like a chode? Or like a normal?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh my god, the shit that you fucking say about your brother, like how dare you even bring that up, freak.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It looks good up until like this point and then this starts to get like really not right.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, I can't believe you ate the fucking, like, pickled shit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, we'll keep it here. These are full, these are full fresh habaneros.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, I'm just, I'm here for, you know, I'm trying everything.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Kinda fuck- Oh, it has fish in it. Okay, let's get our diary on.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's not hot, it's not damn hot. It's fucking gross, nope.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I thought it was pretty good actually. Of all the shit we've eaten here, yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, we'll do a quick break here. Just thank Adam and Eve and then we'll come back and do the whole thing. What? I said Adam and Eve.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Adam and Eve, you wanna do this? Cause you're like the Adam and Eve, uh, ambassador, really.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So wait, is Adam Neve guaranteeing an orgasm? Throw your money back?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Did they really need to put like a fingernail on it to make it look, you know what I mean?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Help support the show. It's frenemies. You guys love it. Then pay it, then get us paid because like, I mean, this shit, look at this. Look at this budget.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, so bring out the next thing, we are trying to keep our cheese, it's not keeping the cheese hot, right? So, this is getting like more and more progressively disgusting.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, we just throw hot milk in, we're trying to liquefy it and just, this is really tough times, eh?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Why would anyone watch this? Like, like, I mean the mootbang thing of people, like, this is a mootbang, right? Like, we're doing a mootbang. Then why would people watch this?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Putrid is like full on mozzarella popsicle.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So you're telling me basically to stay in my lane? Yeah. Okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is fucking disgust. It's folding. Do you see it's folding?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, yea, Sufganiyo. Hi, thank you, sorry. Oh my god, thank you. I apologize.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, this is a no one situation for me, basically. Like, if I'm actually good at it, then I'll never be forgiven for putting a banana down my throat.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Can I do this? Cause I feel like I will never be forgiven. Like this will always be on the internet.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Dan, who cares? You deep throw a banana, Dan. Who cares? You gonna, you gonna deep throw a banana, Dan? Dan goes, who cares? Go ahead, give Dan a banana.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hila's getting a banana for Dan to deepthroat it. Big deal, who cares.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If I'm gonna be on the internet doing that, you are too, fucker. Alright, well, let's eat some cheese on a banana.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What could be better than, than room temp? It's starting to like con, con.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, humiliation is just, you know, it's in the, it's in the, uh, engagement, uh, engagement agreement.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm just saying in the industry, it's not always, you know, granted that your employees are going to leave you for greener fields.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I thought that, I mean, I thought you were so in it, now you're talking about puking.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, it's just funny because we put so much effort into this. And it's just not good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Our next one, we have with us edible panties.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, they're to eat. I'm not putting them on and I urge you, and I would urge you not to put them on either.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, I've never actually seen edible panties.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Can you imagine, like, there's gotta be better sex activities than this?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Arrow girl, put on this fuckin' jump. Put on this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That tastes, well, no, it's not that good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's just legs, dude. Wait, is it edible?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, we'll see it in your shit in a couple of days. Swallow every-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You hit a banana? To calm the spice? Never heard of that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How much more shit do we have? Cause I'm like at my limit, bro. How long have we been going down?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Chef, chef because they produce finest.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, this is Chef, Chef Pardue. He's a French three-star Michelin. That's pretty good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Gordon Ramsey don't have fucking shit on this. Gordon Ramsey's a pussy, doesn't know how to cook.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you ask a white supremacist, is Jewish being white? They'd be like, fuck no.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But then if you ask like uhm, if you ask like a Black Lives Matter or like someone who's like on the far left spectrum of like identity politics and stuff, they would say Jews are white.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think I'm, yeaah, I think I'm Caucasian, but like, uh, if you ask a, uhm,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, no, no, no. I don't have a minority. I don't feel like a minority.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I don't, I'm not offended. I say you got beef with this fucking TikTok account. You crazy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well don't you, well they're making up their own rules on the fly, they're too crazy dude.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Dude, if you convert, that'd be the ultimate slam dunk. I'd be like, yo, Jew crazy, I'm fucking Jewish now, bitch.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh huh, you see how you're getting all crazy given at the thought. What's next? NEXT! This was my favorite actually. This one was good. I'll go for another one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't want to ever eat this cheese again. I ever eat cheese again. Maybe this is good for me because...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Maybe there's a type of therapy where you get overexposed to something and then you hate it, you know?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Seems like inhumane, but I'm down for it. They're like, oh, you like smoking, huh?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They told, oh, they came at you and they said, they actually came at you, Moses, if anybody.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They said, you know, according to the Torah, you're not a non-Jew or Jews are not supposed to date non or be married to non-Jews.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, I think Jews can fuck goy. They just can't marry him.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, but like, it's like, dude, you're gonna talk about the Old Testament rules, like, oh, Jews can't marry non-Jews. It's like, bro, are you like fucking stoning gay people to death too? Like, what's going on?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think there's like different levels of heaven. There's no hell, but there's different levels of like heaven.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wait, why are you leaving? Yea, leave those. No, I'm not listening.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Their bomb is fucked, and then in three months the show gets cancelled. But people still buy it in eight months from now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No you wouldn't, not if you hated me. You know, this cheese is no longer flowing, I'd like to point out. It's like a candle, you know, when it dries.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So here's what I wanna do. Let's eat, let's take, let's, let's grab a habanero, let's end this off right, and I'll ask you questions as we settle on these habaneros.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, in the cheese. What are we, what are we doing here? Just eating habaneros?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, you can buy him at Rao's, I'll put it up to you that way. But do like a whole thing, like down to like this much.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I mean, I've gotten hot ones that I've done like the atomic burger on hot ones, which is actually coming on Tuesday.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I did a hot ones with like the spiciest burger in the world.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I feel like it wasn't that bad and it tasted really good. Do you wanna eat more with me?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, you think that I'm gonna go become Regis Feldman and you're gonna be left in the trenches.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm totally fine now, so. Kind of a big shot in the spicy world.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You turned a new leaf. You erased all your problematic videos.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You erased your, uh, uh, your personality, uh, what is it called? Bordelar? Yeah, D.I.D.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You erased your trans video. And you made an apology.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I feel like you've been getting a lot of good, uhm, good vibes from, from


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In a way, you know what I think it is? It's like a way of trying to self-sabotage.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because it's like you, you, you have this, you know, my, my therapist described it. It's like a rubber band, you know, and it's like when you get into too comfortable of a space because your natural state is like depression and.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Misery or whatever. I'm being, you know, whatever. It's like you, you, your tendency to rubber band back because you feel so uncomfortable.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You have to start to just feel comfortable in order.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Aww. Damn. I hope you guys work it out. I like you guys.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I'm sorry to hear that, you know, I don't know, I obviously don't know the content of the fight, but like-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I don't mean a physical, I mean, you guys obviously had a verbal altercation, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I hope you guys work it out. You feel like maybe, maybe it won't work out?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well that's why you're depressed then.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, if you do like him, you guys can work it out. Look at this thing working its way down, man. This is your, this is a metaphor for like, your...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Here's normality, here's stability, and it's like, it's a slow ascent, but like, I mean, descent, I mean, but like, you know, you just gotta handle, you just gotta hold on for the ride of your life.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, this is awesome. This is by far our best show, isn't it?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, he told you that? Well, that's good feedback. I'm surprised you didn't get that feedback by now in your life.


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[Assistant] Well hold on, was it like, yo stop, don't ever get, was it mean or was it like, just so you know? Yeah, it's constructive feedback.


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[Assistant] I think I've given that feedback to someone before, but like, because it's like you're in a relationship, and you're like, yo, like, just so you know.


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[Assistant] Because sometimes they say, how is it? And you go, well, there's a lot of teeth down there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Continuity. People are like, thank god. Wait, so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But that's kind of sweet. He's like, you hurt my feelings. You hurt my feelings. So I told this random girl in the DMs that I think anyone would say that her vagina stinks.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You seen like on, on, uh, on 90 day fiance the other way? They always have these ones where they go, I got catfish, but I stayed with them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's like some jacked like beautiful model and then the real guy is like some basement dwelling Indian dude with his like missing teeth and she's like, I loved him.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So why does that bother you? He said your pussy doesn't stink, I was hurt. Doesn't that help?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because I, yeah, let's, let's Mike Moses. So because like, let's get to the bottom of this. Thank you. Yeah. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So did you let him in your DMs or not yet?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] To be honest, I really doubt Moses is on Hinge.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, but Moses isn't on hinge. He's not.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Although I understand why she's skeptical of your explanation because I wouldn't expect to see your account on hinge if you deactivated it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Can I give you like Jerry's, what's, what is Jerry Seinfeld, or Jerry Seinfeld?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Jerry fucking, what was Doug, what's- Springer, he has his final thoughts?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Jerry's final thoughts. You gotta love how he tries to get fi- He's like, okay, everybody fight and ruin your fucking life. Now let me give my final thoughts.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Why, what is with you guys? Why are you so distrustful of each other? You're looking in her DMs most. This is unbecoming of you. What is this? You don't trust her? You don't trust him? You're in each other's DMs? This is, this, this is, this is outrageous childish behavior. You guys are in love. It's quite obvious you both care about each other. What is with the skepticism?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Why'd you log her out? Just for revenge?


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[Assistant] Ah, if you log her out, I can see why she got paranoid. You know she's sensitive.


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[Assistant] But I think the key is to not care about what's in each other's DMs.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wait, nobody can hear you, Hila. Say it into the mic.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] From, from, from mookbang to fucking emotion bang. This is an emotion bang.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Moses hasn't done anything like that since you guys have been together. Do you acknowledge that?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's good, right? He hasn't done anything like that since you guys have been steady dating.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do you notice why, like sometimes you care about it, sometimes you don't. Do you notice why sometimes you do and sometimes you don't?


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[Assistant] You really gotta just block that person. They're fucking your life up. They're just weird freaks.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, but like, even though you know it, it's not necessarily something that represents his true feelings. You know, that's kind of what you were trying to say.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, it was more like he was just kind of venting to some random person. It doesn't really mean...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That he believes that I'm just, I mean, I could speak from experience. Sometimes you say stuff, sometimes you say stuff that's really nasty. And then when you're done with the conversation, you go, wow, I, I don't believe anything I just said. That was like super over the top and nasty. You ever had that experience?


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[Assistant] But hold on, I think that you, you clearly have...


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[Assistant] You clearly are able to get over things better than her, right? We can say that.


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[Assistant] I think that, you know, it's, it's tough because like you guys have obviously done hurtful things to each other and if you, you have a, you're able to get over them easier. So it's, so you have to be careful not to hold her to that same standard because for some reason it's just, she, she gets hung up on things more.


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[Assistant] No, I disagree. I mean, look, you took a lot of trauma, clearly.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Things take time to process and, you know, see how you feel about it and to get through it. I don't think things are so binary as, as you describing. You say,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You say, you can either, you have to forgive and forget, or what'd you say? Yeah. If you forgive, you forget.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But you have to acknowledge that you, your brain, your attitude, the way you, you conduct yourself is not the same that she does and you can't just expect her to be you, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, yeaah, I mean it is, it was hard, I mean, yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do you think maybe, well, do you think maybe you're just trying to self-sabotage? It's like, you're clinging onto something really negative that happened a few months ago, and you're like, you won't let this thing go. Even though he's been really good since you guys have been steady, he's been, he hasn't made those same mistakes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So it's like you're like, I have to obsess over this one thing that's gonna try to sour this relationship that's otherwise, you know, idealic. It's like a self-sabotage.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You don't, you think that it's, you don't acknowledge that maybe it's a self sabotage?


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[Assistant] Cause like one doesn't have anything to do with the other, but you're associating them just cause you're mad at him. So I think maybe just let it settle and then I wouldn't make any rash decisions because let's, let's be honest. We all ship you too. We ship it hard.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I feel like that was really good. And everyone's like, I'm team Trisha now.


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[Assistant] You're not quitting this fucking show. You're just complaining about how I'm gonna go be Regis Philman and leave your ass in the trenches.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, it seems like, it seems like you guys are being mature about it and to the extent that like, you guys, if you guys break up, you can have, you can separate amicably. It's not like, you know, he's like, what the fuck.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well I don't like, I'm doing stuff, I'm not like, okay everybody, Trisha's here! Nobody talk to me!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm sad to hear that you guys are fighting. I don't like it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're still wearing edible panties. Maybe you and Moses can, can, uh, maybe the scent will be ma- will be covered by the- by, uh, canty panties. Canty panties.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know why you're so upset. I mean, we're having a conversation. Dan gets, Dan gets really upset when we go super over.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you're quitting, I gotta do, I gotta buy you guys a therapist or something. I gotta make sure you guys get married because I don't want this to stop.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, that was a long time ago. You think you?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, and I think when Dr. Drew's next available will be in early December, so we're all, including both of you guys, even if you break up or not, you're both gonna be on it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] All of us. Lena, you should do one too. So we have to get-


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[Assistant] I guess. That's the way it is though. Bring it up to HR. Tell it to your therapist.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, I feel like you're, like, I feel like you look more fucked up there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause your eyes, it looks like somebody pushed your eyes away from each other. I don't know what happened.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Let's see what happens now. Let's do one final push for the road.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Got a Chick-fil-A, that sounds great. That's a good place to bury the hatch, the nugget.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hey, your life is in such a fucking mess. I'm breaking up. I hate him. He's not pulling out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's trying to, but don't, but, but like you guys are on the rocks and you're trying to knock her up.


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[Assistant] Shalom to our Hebrew viewers and


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[Assistant] Hola to our Spanish and bonjour to our French.


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[Assistant] Were you really fired up or you're like, oh, that's a good clickbait? You actually got fired up or no? Did you think about it after? Wait, really?


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[Assistant] I am so excited about this. I wear it all the time, like I am like so proud of it.


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[Assistant] And it would be like on trash cans and with like paint splattered like pink and black paint. Holy shit. To promote it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, but you're very like, I started this, I put up all the money for the thing. It's in my house, my people, my resources.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That gave a lot of like emotion. I got triggered a bunch. I thought, oh well maybe I'll get a bigger paycheck, but it didn't work.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, I'm saying I think I let myself be triggered more for the paycheck, you know, for the scandal, for the controversy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Or maybe I just see it a different way, like maybe my perception of how our thing went is different, but I'm never just like, oh my god.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So thank you for defending me on this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Also, oh, I mean, I'm just gonna show. Oh no, it's great.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Triple. I said if someone can buy this, I'll like paypal you triple of what shipping and all that will be.


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[Assistant] And so someone got these cookies and the MCR AirPods and they were like $25 but the shipping overnight was gonna be $80. So I paid them $150.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think that they really, I went to a mental hospital for the first time in my life after David and Jason. Like, they showed up to the hospital to see your sign-eye before going to a mental hospital, and then they admitted to me at a mental hospital. As soon as they came, I tried to run off the stretcher. David and Jason were both back there in the hallway to see your sign-eye. I'm like, why are you both fucking back here, David?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They were out filming, but they weren't filming in the thing. So they were out filming, Jeff Wittek came, and I was like, what the fuck? Like I, I like whatever, my makeup artist took me to the hospital.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, I did not want to see them. Jason was like okay I guess to be back there because we were like kind of dating at the time. But as soon as David got back there I took out all my clothes and made a run for it outside the hospital and they took me and they gave me, uhm, they sedated me and then they told me I had to go to a mental hospital.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was already in a, in a panic, like in a state of panic, and uhm, like when I woke up,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I kinda like overdosed and then I woke, I came to in Cedar Sinai and I, like he was back there and I was so embarrassed and then I saw David and I was so fucking livid because that's why, I mean the whole thing started from David, whatever the fuck.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And uhm, I saw him and I like fucking freaked out and I ran. So I tried to go out of the thing. They strapped me down for the rest of the night. I'm like crying. Jason's sitting there. I'm like sobbing because they're like strapping me down like I'm fucking cannibal- Hannibal? Hannibal. And uhm, or cannibal. And I- they're gonna give me a tampon. Anyways, it was traumatic. It was so traumatic.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That night at the hospital, I went to the mental hospital, he made Jason cut me off and I never heard from him again. He never was like, are you okay after I got out of the hospital? Nothing. Just cut me off, said no one can talk to Trisha, no one's allowed to talk about her. He talked about me in a stream one time, a live stream, and that's the only stream he never like, reuploaded. He made sure that was like, disappear off the internet because someone brought me up. So like, if you talk, like no one's allowed to talk about me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I called their friend, a really good friend of theirs in their vlog out, like he was, he was dating a minor and he was in the vlogs and David asked about their sex life in the vlogs when she was 17 and like I called that out and I think that was like the big issue because


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well his one minority friend in the vlog, Seth, did this whole expose on him last year during the summer of like how basically he like did watermelon jokes and like made him do all these things like in the fridge, yea.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it's crazy people do stuff for like whatever money or whatever but


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's like a core group of people that are in the squad still and you're like, you know, anyways, it doesn't matter. I just keep up with them cause they're actual, I just, there are certain people and people like, why do you enjoy the demise of some people? Because some people are actually awful human beings. Like these people not wearing their masks right now. Like I can't wait for their demise cause they're actually problematic people. They're actually like killing people. Like it's tricky.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Not, this is kinda shady, but I don't mean it's shady, like, that you can do that much research and put together such a piece. Like, I didn't watch the full thing on Shane yet, but the expose, I was just like, how long did this take you?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, I guess it works. You're back up to like, booming on this channel. Not that you were ever down, but you have your peaks and lows.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, it's Logan Paul, it's not like, you know, Joe Rogan saying you're the scum of the internet, you know what I mean? Like, that's like when I call people scum of the internet, like, it's just like, I call everybody that, like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay. I like Impulsive. I don't like their new co-hosts.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, but did you see her at Nikita Dragon's party this weekend? Spitting in Patrick Star's mouth.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I can't support Angela Wallace. Too much time on his hands. It's scary.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It actually, you spray it on the back of your throat and it like numbs your throat and it's like minty and then it numbs the member when it goes down your throat.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A gift for him and a third item you'll both enjoy if you use the code H3.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You don't get as much. I get more on, like, TikTok Live.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Adam and Eve, you guys, not only do they have that, they have this whole new bang me series and the bang toys are awesome. They have these giant vibe bullets, they're like this big and their bullets, bullets are like the intense vibes and they have them now big size.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Maybe we should try it for an episode and see who can get like something down their throat like a cucumber.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We should do a foot soldier episode. Let's compare feet maybe for an episode.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah. You can tell by how. My hair? Yep. My weight? Well. Oh, okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Ew, you know what my biggest problem with him is like he never once acknowledged anything, any of this, that nothing he did was wrong ever, like you can't just say sorry that was gross, like you can't just say something in BPC, he just gets away with so much shit and he's like


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A really, really problematic person, like an actually disgusting person like this behind the scenes, like trying to block the stuff that you did, like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That was the greatest thing to me, is that like, his like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I couldn't be around Jason because I was a bad influence on his kids. Like, I couldn't live with him because the ex-wife was like, I'll take away your kids. Meanwhile, he lived with two other guys that were banging chicks every night so loud you could hear them fucking in the next room next to his kids.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Perverted about, I don't know, there's something like not all together there, like I don't really know what it is. Like he did that a lot, they did a lot of those kind of things, like kiss my mom, like just like weird pervy stuff that I was like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know. It's like the Tana thing. He said it was a bit, but the cameras weren't rolling. He's like, oh, I kissed her in the closet. She goes, I didn't want it. And like she says that in the vlog and David's like, oh, that's gross. And it's like, it's just like, ew, I don't know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He specifically called me and Jason and said, can I use the bit where Tana comes over and Jason tries to fuck her? And I was like, no.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Jason says no, I'm on the phone with David at 2am, he posted his vlog anyways.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It happens. I'm like crying and blowing my eyes out. He's like, it won't happen again. Two days later. It's just him, Jason, Madison Beer, and Tana, and they do that exact same joke again, and I lost when I lost my shit. I'm like, I'm making a fucking video. I did not consent to it. I said I was uncomfortable. You pushed Tana to do this joke, and Tana's like, I don't wanna- he's like, I remember this so clearly. When Tana came over to the house, when I said don't invite her,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh my god, I thought we were not saying the P word. And he's, like, let's, like, what I'm saying is like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's embarrassing, and like, it's just, it's creepy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] During Black Lives Matter, when we're all getting cancelled for their racist jokes, including Jason and David, they bring in


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Look at their reactions compared to Jason. Okay, so he's talking about being at a peaceful protest and getting shot with one of those like pellets or whatever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Jason's Linham are like laughing at it, like these two guys, also they're never in the vlog, King Batch, I'm sorry I forget this guy's name, he was on the reality show, Two House, I forget his name, but they're like, they bring him in during the Black Lives Matter thing, they're all getting cancelled, all of a sudden he's like, we need to talk, the video's called It's Time for a Change, and so he brings in these two guys that are never in the videos, African American, whatever,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But what's funny about being shot by police at a protest? Like why are they laughing? What's the joke?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, like, all this shit he started putting in the vlogs the week of my blow up and I was like, I was holding it in, I was holding it in, and I just lost my...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's, it's proven. Uhm, there's been in vlogs actually where Karina was like blowing Todd in a, in a, in his Tesla and they begged him not to use it. Like you can't use that fucking footage, you can't use it. He like said I'll pay you like a thousand dollars if you let me use it and they're like no and they're like I'll pay you five thousand or whatever and they're like okay fine.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] People have expressed, like, that they don't want in the vlog, and he'll, like, have to either, sometimes he'll take it out, I've seen him take it out, he's never taken it out for me, or he'll, like, say, I'll pay you or something if I can put it in the vlog.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You couldn't be in the vlog squad then.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When David stopped vlogging, they all went to sleep. Alright.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You just don't need to be hanging out with like, minors like, you just like don't need it for a vlog.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] For sure. True, for sure. Cause when we were like sneak, like sneak talking, cause David's like, you have to cut Trisha off, and he's like, I have to cut you off, sorry, David told me. And then whatever, he like, we still hang out for like three months, whatever, until I like went to a mental hospital again. But he would, he would tell me, he's like, oh, I just don't want to go to like a club to go see Kylie Jenner, like they're trying to track Kylie Jenner down at like


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Drey's or whatever the clu- I don't even know the clubs. And he's like, ah, I fucking hate this so much. Like, he's like, just such a like, fake person. Like, yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know what it is about him that he gets to escape it, but one day he's gonna be turned, and I said this, I called it, he's gonna turn into like a Ted Bundy, and then people are gonna be like, oh, we should like, no, and I'm like, I called it out. Something. He's psycho. Like, he's an actual-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right, I mean, but I, like, I mean, anyone who's like data meter knows me, like, I don't really eat that much, like, I think it looks like a lot online because I piece things together from like different days, but like, I don't eat that much in one sitting, like, I'm not really, like, a big fat piece of shit. No, it's fucked up. It's fucked up. I don't exercise, maybe that's it, and I'm older, and I eat fast food, but I eat like half of me, I don't eat quite that much.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right, but Jason used it as an excuse to like, oh I can hit on young girls cause it's like a bit for David's law.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I guess so, I don't know. I mean, yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I mean, here he is with the Lopez brothers, so that just, just... He deleted his videos with the Lopez brothers, but still has the TikTok up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, no, no, not sex. Well, we don't know what the relationship was. We had an inappropriate relationship, but we don't know the extent of it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, they're disgusting. And the fact that they still have a TikTok channel and like, people- James Charles was trying to defend them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] See? See on Twitter, just trying to be like, there's two sides to every story. Okay, calm down.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Charli D'Amelio. She's like, I'm looking through the hashtag here for Charli. This happened today. And oh my goodness, you all are so sweet to me. I have no idea how much your kind words were in my heart. And it was for actually Charli XCX. She, her producer passed away. So everyone's like here for Charli, but she thought it was for her. And she was like thanking everybody, but it was like that her producer just passed away and it was not Charli D'Amelio. How embarrassing. She's so self-absorbed. I, I, she needs to be like grounded. Did you see the boa?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm looking through the hereforcharlie hashtag and oh my goodness, you all are so sweet. You have no idea how much your words were in my heart. I'm so lucky to have you by my side. I love you babes. And then someone's like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Really? Little Huddy left a comment on my- Little Huddy. Do you know Little Huddy?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, he's down here. That's his comment. Okay, Trisha.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay. I'm gonna go with the happy one, little honey lettuce. Okay!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] At least they're not minors, at least they're not with like, children that are 13 years old.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I love it. When it's people, like I said, I like watching people's demise when they're actually shit people. Like if they're shit people, like yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The girl needs money. Okay, okay. It's bad karma to you. It comes back. That shit comes back. You wanna go bake a cake?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, I'm the sous chef. No, you're not sous chef.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What do you blame getting fat on if you can't bake? Like how did you get fat if you don't cook?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So that's what I'm saying! It wasn't a gradual. Be some medication, right? Or depression. Or both.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Can we have that as an episode where we go to Judaism classes for converting?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Aren't you like an actual designer for like clothing? Like what the hell, how come you can't do this?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We could have at least cooked something maybe, like pasta, like we could make better butter noodles. That would have been a competition.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, last time you made them, whenever we left, you were making them for theaters, I went home and made some, and mine smelled so much better. It smelled so good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I bet you do. I was like, why is he announcing this? This is the best of fun, buddy. Oh my god.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I feel like you just do front of me so you can eat. And Eli can't yell at you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Louis Vuitton sent Snooki Gucci purses, so she would wear Gucci on the beach and not Louis Vuitton so it would make their brand look trashy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh. So I did my Hermes Birkin, but I- Where is it?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right here there's the handle, the purse is right here, and then the logo is on top of the purse.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is the purse in the background, and then this is the label on top of the purse. There's the Aramez blanket.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're helping like bar mitzvahs, like you're helping like all that. I want a bar mitzvah on the show.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Actually women aren't allowed to pray, did you know that? At temple they have to sit in the back while the men pray.


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[Assistant] Maybe poor people travel to Brentwood to go to the synagogue and they can't donate. Thank you.


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[Assistant] Vote in the comments below who had the better cake, just so we can confirm that I am in fact the winner. And don't feel sorry for Ethan, just be honest.


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[Assistant] Show me her DMs. And I said, I thought in my mind, you know what? I'm going to log her out. And when she asked me to log in, I'll ask her, I want your login too. So we both log in into each other. That's all.


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[Assistant] So then, in front of her eyes, I opened it, it was locked out.


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[Assistant] It was just a coincidence that those two things happened at the same time.


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[Assistant] I mean, the way I see it is that if you really love someone, you can forgive them. And if you forgive them, you forget.


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[Assistant] No, I don't. That's why I'm still around and I'm trying and I say everything I can to make up for it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But one time I said something negative, but for three months I'm saying everything things positive. She doesn't hold on to that. She only holds to the one negative thing that happened months ago. She won't let it go.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And very obnoxious. I've seen you pop up on my feed millions of times, and uhm, I've never once.


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[Assistant] No, there's a lot of Asian hate crimes happening right now. There are? In our country. It's a huge thing right now and I think 3,000 in the past.


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[Assistant] People love Jews now, it's super trendy. Although that girl got fired for being a Jew, remember from the Star Wars thing? There was a girl that was Jewish and got fired.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] To be an ally to the AAPI, which is the, uhm, Asian American Pacific Islanders.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, but like I read on the AAPI website that like if you can offer your service of like taking over their job temporarily, like if they need help with a project because they have to go to protest right now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, same, because I'm actually gonna start training, we have our workout equipment coming this week, so I'm actually gonna start training, so I wanted to see how good I was pre-training, so maybe in a month we'll go back and...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] For our workout today, pink Gatorade. And a pink monster.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You start losing weight, so I feel so embarrassed to sit next to you that I have to start losing weight too.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, he's obsessed with people talking about him. They always gossip in the group. Oh, this person said this. He knows everything. He just doesn't have to acknowledge it because he's...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It is a white male club, right? Like, it's like, Philip DeFranco, Keemstar, David, like, they're all in this, like, club, they're all except, like, if this was, again, anyone else, like, if it was-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know what, but like I've learned from anything, especially with people that are like, I've been abusive and like essay and all that stuff like that, is like it comes back around eventually. Like, you know, look at Bill Cosby, it took him like 60 years to get hit justice served, but it does happen.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, so the very basic minimum, and this helps anyone that's been through something, like acknowledgement and apology goes so long, even if it's a bullshit, fake, whatever, like just acknowledging that like you did something wrong and you apologize, like that's insane that he can't do that to me, like the very bare minimum you can do.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's a good guy, but he's a coward right now. Oh, he's a coward and everything. I don't think I dislike anyone as much as I dislike Michael. No, stop.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know. It's like, it's like screaming into like literally like a pillow, right? Like I was watching the uhm, Woody Allen docu-series last night.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And nothing happened. And she goes, during the meet too, people, Scarlett Johansson was still working with Eddie Allen. All these people are still working with him. Could you imagine?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it's, again, I'm not comparing it, but I just relate it so much when, when Mia Farrow, when she, when she talked about the story, they labeled it as, oh, she's a bitter ex-wife, because he, like, married her daughter. I was like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I know what I'm like, a problematic mess, and this is so different than me, and this is so above me, and beyond my issues, so it's just like, I'm just showing support because he just doesn't have as much, and I'm glad that you did the interview, and I wasn't even involved in that, that was the H3 Podcast, and I was so happy to see you do it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They go for curvy girls, up to 5X, third size.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wait, what's wrong with it? I'm so confused. She's like, heavier?


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[Assistant] I think it's great. I literally purchase from them even when I'm not sponsored by them. Like all year round.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Can you imagine, like, and they're older than you, so like, imagine, like, I know Mike is, but can you imagine being like 38? That's like me in like six years and I'm like, let's start up, let's start a fucking collab house.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But it's true, and it's Mike Maljak, it's not even Logan Paul. Like maybe if Logan Paul had a hype house, okay cool, but Mike Maljak doesn't have clout without Logan Paul. And FaZe Bangs is not your clout, I don't even know who that is.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What is a phase? I hear them all the time. There's like phase gains, phase clout, phase bank, phase, there's so many phases, right?


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[Assistant] You're starting a collab house, stop it, stop it. You made money, you said they're baller, just make your money, like me.


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[Assistant] I think it's amazing. We both had no friends our entire life and we're like, we found a friend.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I thought it was, every single comment came from me and said, you're getting ripped off girl, that's a different hemline. So the bottom of that shirt, my shirt goes rounded, now swipe over. And his is straight across.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They give you like a wardrobe tag and then they give you like where it's from and stuff like what. What is a wardrobe tag?


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[Assistant] The word of tag that says like Sandler and then it has like, I think it's anyone could just write Sandler on a tag, but.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Something embarrassing did happen with Adam Sandler. I can't say it cause it has to do with like his like location, but I mentioned something on the show and it's something that like, I don't know what to say.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Ahi- Ahim Tihi- Tihi Ashley. Is that romantic? It's not romantic, right? Oh, okay. I don't mean it romantically. I don't know Hebrew that well. I only say it to my fiancee who's- who's Jewish and from Israel!


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[Assistant] I think I might hate Bryce Hall more than Jack's films.


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[Assistant] I think this is like a setup, like the clubhouse is like a TikTok house.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Or maybe he's, oh, Michael Jackson, I guess, likes the boys, putting on strictly girls, because his own son said-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] More than Bryce Hall? Don't want Bryce Hall here you say that? You might catch those arms.


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[Assistant] She was, and now nobody cares. But this is what I'm saying, they all go into oblivion eventually.


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[Assistant] Your next daughter that has moments for I'll Come Perform for free.


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[Assistant] See which one needs to sing like he did at the end of Adam Sandler. Do you really want to hurt me?


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[Assistant] With the roundness on top. That'll be my gift to me.


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[Assistant] No, I'm endurance- what is it? Endurance? I have endurance, I can have sex for like an hour, I have endurance. It's squatting on the dick, like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because we were, we were, uh, chatting it up too much in the first one.


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[Assistant] It's not about the beauty stuff per se, it's about how ridiculous it is and how much, you know, our reaction to it. I don't think people are looking for beauty products to buy, Trisha.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, maybe I'll stay in control.


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[Assistant] Yeah, but that's not healthy, because you go, I'm gonna have a chicken breast, and then tomorrow I'm gonna have a triple th-threat.


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[Assistant] How much is it Dan? This is not sponsored by the way, but should be.


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[Assistant] I think it should cost more. I'm concerned about what I'm putting in my body. It's only $21. You can really order that. Right now.


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[Assistant] All over our faces, and then we're gonna destroy our bodies with Pizza Hut the triple threat.


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[Assistant] Oh, you wanna get on the tri- Oh, we need two triple threats cause there's- Can we? You wanna- You wanna get on the triple threat?


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[Assistant] One for- you guys want- you guys don't want two between the two of you, you know that's crazy. We'll have one triple threat for us, one for them.


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[Assistant] I'm like 180, 190. What are you? Yeah, you told me you're like 200.


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[Assistant] Yeah, so, I agree, so if you take that out, but also you're not doing it as a favor, you're like sucking fat out of your stomach, injecting it in your ass, it's like, you gotta, you just, you know, you, you like the fat, you hold onto it. You got the titties.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was curious how long that was gonna go. Okay, are we? Hold on, hold on, the triple threat. We got two of them, make it happen and tell them it's urgent. Kay, Dan?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I said, we're just gonna do the beauty products, this is not going off the rail, and now we're getting two triple threats.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Dan, are you recording this? Are you paying attention? It is going, right? Cause Dan's like over there ordering pizza, we're yin-ting it up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, no. No, we're not stopping. Alright, so Moses is crouching down. He's got his phone.


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[Assistant] I do like plain pizza, I'll be honest. I could take it with olives. Do you prefer that?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Dan? Moses, has Trisha ever had an olive?


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[Assistant] Alright, we gotta move on. Oh, she got an app. Okay. Alright, well let's pause while we order the pizzas.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's not, you go, I go, I want olives, pineapple, jalapenos. Seriously?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That was my objective, and now we fucking- Thank you, Moses. Let's get- Do I have- Do you have money? I don't have money on me. No, I'll give you a couple bucks when you get back.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Thank you, Moses. You're gonna be broke after all these diamonds and the pizza. Gotta keep you whole.


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[Assistant] It's just picking up pizza. He gets to drive a Rolls Royce on the way, it's sick.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, do something- What does that mean? You'd like sexual favors? You said I'll do something for you tonight.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's food, I mean, okay, let's focus. Okay, so we are doing today celebrity beauty product, uh, or no, no, specifically f- beauty facials, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, okay, all over the map. This is what celebrities do, and the freakish celebrities who like, basically, they've got nothing better to do, they've tried everything, and so that's when you like, drink baby blood, so this is kinda where we're at.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We're not drinking baby blood, but like, we're in that stratosphere of like, desperate to try anything to thrill yourself. So, we're gonna start by freshening up. Kate Hudson says that uhm,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] She dips her face in ice water every morning.


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[Assistant] Now I know what you mean, I'm sorry. Alright, let's dunk our heads, ready? One, two, three.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's so cold. Fuck this. Oh damn, you went for a girl. Okay, I gotta go harder. It feels- You're supposed to go for-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You wanna do a competition? You just wanna sit silently for a minute with our head in ice? Let's go.


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[Assistant] It's like, yea, if you put liquid nitrogen on your face, it'll tighten your skin.


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[Assistant] I mean I did, I do, I do feel kinda good. Damn, this girl can't get enough of the ice dunks.


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[Assistant] She's just, like, I don't understand why she won, like, creator of the year. That was so odd.


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[Assistant] I mean, it's just based on how many people you can beg to vote for you, so that's why I always thought it was dumb.


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[Assistant] I mean look, I'm pretty into dental hygiene and I'm pretty much sure that you shouldn't spread sugar around into the deepest crevices of your mouth.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] She says, uh, Zetta Jones sweetens her daily teeth brushing regimen by using crusted, crushed strawberries. I was told it's a natural whitener. It really works for me. Anyway, strawberries taste better than most toothpaste, she said. Yeah, you're not supposed to fucking eat.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So Catherine Zetta Jones, who has apparently rotted teeth. You see her smile? She's like, hey! Well, you know all these celebrities just get fake teeth, so I was like, okay lady.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think they look good too, but like, I think it's, if you don't need them, it's a whole pain in the ass you shouldn't do. Cause they literally file your teeth down, like there's no going back. I wouldn't do that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I wouldn't do that unless my mouth was like mega fucked and I was like alright, let's go.


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[Assistant] I'm sure you can, I will. I wouldn't. You can eat it. This is strawberry and baking soda.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's a cup there to spit in. Go have water, just have coffee.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's clearly a dumbass. Like Colgate is like, we have the biggest scientists, chemists in the world who are formulating all the recipes to whiten your teeth and Captain Zed Jones is like, no.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So that backfired, I wonder if everyone's like, we're breaking out, dubsoap is ruining our lives.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know what my dermatologist told me when I was a kid? He says use your shampoo to wash your face because shampoo is lighter and has less impact on your face than soap.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so I always use my shampoo, or not always, but some, yea, some, because sometimes I use face wash, but it's too heavy and it dries out my skin, so I only do it like once a week.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Did she do an incant- did she do a chant? Why are you wearing murder gloves, AB? Thank you, though.


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[Assistant] Well, it was, yea, I agree, but it was a very careful, uh, process.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Ian was kind of a mole, he pretended like he was a fan, then we realized recently that he actually, his brother was the fan. But that's okay, we love Ian.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, interestingly enough, AB is probably the biggest sim. He's like a mega H3 sim.


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[Assistant] You're not supposed to mix the strawberry with the turmeric. It ruins the experiment.


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[Assistant] That's, I don't know why you're doing that, but it's not for me. Oh, that sneeze like injured my throat.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, no, I don't think so. You got it from Brie. What? Did you really ask me that?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm okay. It's happened before where I sneeze really hard and then it takes a minute to recover.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, to Marek, uh, this one comes from Julianne Hugh, which I don't know who she is.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I dunno. To Merrick. Julianne Hough. Dumbass.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've actually been trying Tumeric, she told E. You would think it would be the opposite and it'd stain your teeth but it actually makes them whiter. Tumeric is the bomb, y'all should try it. Although evidence of its teeth whitening properties is only anecdotal, studies do show that it brings oral health benefits to other natural remedies and other over the counter remedies don't.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. But you're doing it with the strawberry, why are you doing that?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I take tumor supplements because it's good for like your digestion of some shit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't, a nutritionist told me to take it. And it turned my piss, like, radioactive yellow. It's crazy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't wanna do that. I don't wanna do that. I hate that. I don't want it. Why do you wanna inject my lips? You think my lips are inadequate?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I hate the idea of getting Botox, but at the same time I do acknowledge that it's funny, so I'm torn.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm really torn on this because I hate the idea, but it does sound funny. Get a $20,000 bag, get some Botox.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't think those are ever, yea, it didn't help at all.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In the beginning I said you have powder on your lips, but then you didn't get it all off, and the whole episode I was just staring at.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Don't talk about Hila. We're cutting this part out. She doesn't wanna be talked about.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because she doesn't like that you're always bringing her up and saying how she doesn't like you and all this shit because it's not true and she finds it annoying because she doesn't want people to start thinking that like, she doesn't actually like you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, whatever, just cut it out then. I'm serious.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause I always say, yeah, we should cut this. Let's just move on.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think, okay, this is all off the record, but I think she's just really annoyed by the situation and she just needs some time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Honestly, it has nothing to do with you. And I don't want to get in the middle of it. But it's between him and her.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, because you, well, okay, she was irritated because you were like, I'm not inviting mom, and she was like, dude, why, like, my mom doesn't need to see that. And I know, but then she's, but it's like, Moses, why are you telling her that you're not close to us, and that you're not close to your mom, and you're not inviting your mom to the wedding?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's not about you, it's about, it's between Hila and her brother. Why do you need to get involved in that, in that dynamic? Just let them sort it out. How is that fake?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And you go, I came in, you start off by saying, I came in, and Hila didn't greet me, and she was super rude. And Hila's like, that's bullshit. You say that about me too. And she goes, that's bullshit, I'm always nice to her, I like her, the whole thing is stupid, and people are gonna start, and she's-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I feel like you always, you just did it now, you talk about how she doesn't like you, and you was like, I like her, I don't want her to keep saying that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm not sure how to respond because I feel like you're having, uh, you're having like a... You're having like a...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So you are taking credit for the renaissance of the Asia podcast.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're literally taking something way outrageous.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes we did. After the time when we showed the text between like-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, no, you're reading his private messages with his sister. You shouldn't do that. Unless he shares it with you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I think we should move on. We have pizza on the way. You're gonna, you're gonna, you're just gonna forsake all the pizza.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's sarcastic. I'm still excited for the pizza. Can we move past this?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What does that mean? You're not gonna have a babysitter when you have a kid? How are you gonna do anything? You're gonna s- What does that mean? You're trying to attack our parental abilities?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause we're working. That's how everybody has nannies. They work. People work.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so we have a nanny that, that Theodore really likes and he spends the whole day with her and then when she's done around 4.30 we take over and spend...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No I'm not. Why would I, how am I projecting?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, well he doesn't have a brother. Or a sister. So should he just be by himself?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's, they're, they're not here. They have a life. I wish, yea, I would let them come.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Seems extreme. Seems like not everybody has that luxury.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So right now, Hila's at the job and I'm doing the podcast. So, you show, so should I not do the podcast or should Hila should not be at the?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then when I'm done with the podcast, she can go to the office and I'll be with Theodore.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, my point was that you're assuming that it's so easy for me to be with a one point, uh, one and a half year old, not knowing how insane and like non-stop it is that I wouldn't be able to do anything else with the rest of the day when I have work to do. I have work. I'm an adult. I have a job like most adults do. And what happens if you're two parents and you have to go, like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I hope Moses quits every single thing he does to be with the kid every single moment when you're on- when you are-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The pizza's here! We had a full meltdown while you were gone.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Moses said, what happened? You know, this is the literal meme where you walk in with the pizza and the room's on fire. This is the literal meme where you come back with the pizza. Oh my god.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So she- she always making comments about the family and how-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, you should leave. We'll talk later. Yeah, you should get out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know what happened. You better just...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If, if, just so you know what happened, we were just, she was talking, she was talking about like, how you're like, my mom's, she says like, you, your brother hates you and your mom's not, she's like, she says this stuff in passing and it really upsets Hila. So she started saying this stuff and I said, Hila asked that we don't talk about this stuff anymore. So that's it, that's all that happened.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, I know, okay, but I'm just telling you so you know the situation you're dealing with. Alright.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Without her being here and being fair to her, is that, she's always saying stuff about their family.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's more complicated, right? Cause she's dating her brother.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And when she says comments on the podcast, like, uh, you guys aren't even close. Your brother doesn't even like you. Your mom's not coming to the wedding and stuff. It caused real problems in her family. And most of all, it's not true, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so, Elos gets frustrated and she says, can you please stop talking about the family and talking about me?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I need like a break from this shit. And so she brings up Hila, and I says, we, we're, we can't talk about Hila.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And that's kind of what happened. I think the problem is maybe that Trisha does think that Hila doesn't like her. Which isn't true. But I do think that they probably need to work it out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause I, Hila does like Trisha. She watched the last episode and she loved it and she thought it was great. And, you know, we, we both think Trisha's awesome.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, uh, I think they just need to talk. I think Trisha's right. Hila should have reached out and said something to tell her that she doesn't hate her, cause I think-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, she doesn't feel comfortable coming to the home because there's like weird friction.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, they left last time and didn't say goodbye to Hila, and Hila was like, hey, what happened, but...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I understand her emotions, you know, and I feel bad that she's feeling really bad. I do feel bad, uhm, so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, you know, I understand, and I feel bad, and I'm gonna try to, to fix it, and uhm,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But we didn't stick to the plan. I really wanted to stick to the plan this time, and we didn't do it. But the good news is, we got pizza. A lot of it. The bad news is that, I- Trisha's not feeling great right now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That was the worst I've seen her, probably. Actually, even worse than the last time. I felt really bad for her. I just don't know how to help her when I see her doing that, so, I don't know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I shouldn't go on without her. Anyway, that's it this episode.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, uh, we'll see what happens in the future, but, uh, I dunno. Alright, thanks for watching, guys.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, here's one, uh. I didn't say fuck. I didn't say anything like that.


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[Assistant] So guys, we'll be back with our next episode.


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[Assistant] No, I don't know, Beatlejuice. I was just watching clips. I mean, I watched it once so long ago, uhm, and I have only seen it one time when I was a kid.


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[Assistant] He's, well, he probably, he probably eats good, you know. He probably goes down on a girl really fast.


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[Assistant] Uh, origin story on our old main channel, h3h productions. My thing was I was always willing to go all out for the video. And so I love doing this because it's so fun. I feel like it makes the episode so fun. And I've, I used to walk around New York City dressed like a maniac and like, uh, this for me is, uh, this is great.


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[Assistant] I just watched some clips and his voice just somehow it just like, uh, I feel like it's in my natural tenor.


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[Assistant] Johnny looks like a little bit of like a emo kid, like coming out of middle school, but like 70.


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[Assistant] Oh, stop it. I would fuck Alec before dying.


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[Assistant] Yeah, that's what me and Hila do, cause one day is like so sad, and because I'm so depressed with my birthday usually cause we don't do anything, we do like the whole week.


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[Assistant] That's what we do. Really? Yea. You guys don't do chores. No not anymore.


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[Assistant] So today on the show, we are going to be continuing trivia.


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[Assistant] And I have just some stuff to talk about, some headlines. Oh, we're doing a Beetlejuice Reign Ackman theme.


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[Assistant] Oh stop it, who's casting me? Tim Burton. Tim Burton, if you're watching this.


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[Assistant] Nicholas Cage was supposed to play Superman in a Tim Burton film? Weirdest shit.


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[Assistant] Here's Nicolas Cage as Superman. Wait, that's not right.


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[Assistant] I love it. You know that one scene where the therapist, where he goes, uh, he's like, I have a dream where I, I keep having a dream where the archangel comes down to me and tells me where the last, uh, golden, uh, ticket is. And the therapist goes, stop playing and tell me where the ticket is now. I thought that was so funny.


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[Assistant] Grandpa Joe's a bitch. I know that's like an old meme, but the first time I watched that, I was like, this Grandpa Joe character is a fucking piece of shit. Like, he's crippled, and then all of a sudden, when something fun happens, he's like, oh, motherfucker, I can walk again. It's like, bitch, your 13-year-old son is working his hands to the bones, and your ass pretending to be sick in bed? Yeah.


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[Assistant] I think this one is gonna slap, but let's see.


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[Assistant] Let's just, let's see. I do want some of this cake by the way, no cap.


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[Assistant] We're like, are we sure about that? You're pretty fucking old, dude.


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[Assistant] And let's go do our scene, and then we'll come back and do the pod.


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[Assistant] Oh, apprehensive sheet jumps. When a simple cartoon of orange juice materializes, orange juice pours out into a glass.


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[Assistant] I'll never- I love my brother, but this story's funny. He doesn't mind me telling that. I think bar mitzvah.


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[Assistant] He had a cassette of, uhm, I don't know, he had a, he wanted to play, uhm, Smashing Pumpkins, Today's the Best Day, you know that song? Today is the best day.


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[Assistant] Listen, the point of the story is that my brother wanted that song and they didn't have a CD of it. They only had it on cassette and he started crying at his bar mitzvah on stage.


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[Assistant] Yes they are. I love HBO. I resent saying that. I, I recant that. As well as my daddy. Daddy. HBO.com slash, uh, after dark. I don't remember.


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[Assistant] Yeah, fuck Fashion Nova. We stan HBO here. Alright, let's talk.


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[Assistant] Uhm, lemme play for you just a little something fun while you enjoy your birthday cake.


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[Assistant] This girl made a theme song for us that was pretty good and pretty cool.


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[Assistant] Okay, here's a theme song by uh, what's her name? It's so far away I can't see it. It's uh,


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[Assistant] Carol Miller music. Carol Miller music. It's Miller time.


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[Assistant] No, I am impressed when, like, normal people watch. I'm like, oh shit, that person watched?


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[Assistant] You literally don't even know who it is. I'm the one who said you look like Xena Warrior Princess. And now you're sharing this memes. I just want to say that I, this is me. I get the credit.


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[Assistant] I just followed you, it's in Xena of Princes Warrior. You did the hashtag, Xena of Princes Warrior.


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[Assistant] He tweeted, I tweeted you a very nice birthday message from my heart. I said, I'm honored and privileged to call Trisha my friend. She's an amazing person full of wit, insight, and grit. I mean literally, lots of grit. Like sand.


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[Assistant] She is without a doubt made me a better person for knowing her. That's true actually. And happy birthday week besties. So you're like, oh, we're having such a good, uh, connect. We're having in a really good place, right? Dr. Drew be like, I think you guys need my help again. I'm sorry, Dr. Drew. Are you trying to break us up? Like, please.


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[Assistant] The fact that you're even hypothetically thinking through this, like, well, I would probably be not his biggest project, uh, excuse me, it's working, he's already breaking us up.


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[Assistant] Oh, okay, then there's this Justine Paradise girl who is getting so much harassment. I just want to do a quick update and support to her because she's like erasing our social media because of all the death threats she's getting. This is a girl who accused Jake Paul and Keemstar called her a liar publicly and this is the result of basically Keemstar calling her a liar.


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[Assistant] Well, I just wanted to say, not about you, you're, you're innocent in this, but for everyone listening who loves Hila, myself included, who's an angel, Keemstar literally was tweeting pictures to her and me, calling her a horse, for like a year.


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[Assistant] Cause he was mad at me. Literally sending pictures of horses to me and Hila saying that she looked like a horse.


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[Assistant] She's beautiful, amazing, and so, like, obviously it didn't bother me, but I was like, I cannot believe that this is a-


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[Assistant] Like, almost 40 year old man with a daughter, and he's sending daily horse pictures to me and Hila, to call her a horse. And then when AB started defending me, he started sending pictures of witches to AB and his wife Lena, saying that she looks like a witch, who's also a really beautiful, amazing person. So, Keemstar is the worst part, 25, uh, thousand.


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[Assistant] And people thought, and like his fans thought it was funny. And like a lot of people started tweeting horses to Hila. And I was like, wow, this is crazy.


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[Assistant] Yeah, the looks is like, I mean, we're all, we're all, we should all be like, I mean, look,


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[Assistant] People aren't always secure with their looks, but like, I mean, I mean, Hila's, Hila's beautiful. She's not gonna get offended from Keemstar calling her a horse, you know.


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[Assistant] It's so hard to deal with people like just flat out lying because it's like, one, how do you dispute it? And two, it's just so disturbing that people are willing to believe something that like there's no evidence for. I mean, one of my, my hardest like year or two doing this is when, is because of Keemstar, he started this blatant lie.


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[Assistant] But it became this point where everybody online just fucking hated my guts because of this lie he made. And so I finally made a video addressing it, I had the game developer on, he's like, no, that money was for you guys, it's not, have anything to do with charity, that's a total fucking lie.


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[Assistant] And it came to the point where I was actually able to exonerate myself in some people's eyes by just finally addressing it. But for so long it's like,


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[Assistant] It's so fucking depressing to be hated for something that you didn't even do. And it's like you don't want to address the drama, you don't want to deal with it, but it's like someone like Keemstar never stops. He never fucking stops.


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[Assistant] I got really, really depressed from all this and just being like hated by so many people for this shit and like,


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[Assistant] I-I'm gonna address this and I'm feeling like confident finally to be able to address this in a good way.


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[Assistant] No, I think a lot of people just, they hit a wall where they're like, I can't take this, you know?


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[Assistant] They're just random. It's not like reoccurring characters, it just comes and goes.


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[Assistant] Yeah, when I saw you, I saw you over the weekend, you seemed like really, you were having a rough time.


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[Assistant] I don't know what, I think, I don't know what my love, I think my love language is literally just language, like I like telling people nice things.


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[Assistant] It wasn't a Gen Z. It wasn't a Gen Z person. Yeah. Don't worry. We love Gen Z.