[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Whenever books came back and they had like stickers from Walmart or something on them, you had to come in here and get them all nice and clean.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I gotta say something though about that new hallway y'all are building. What about it? Are only tiny humans working over there? Boy don't it feel claustrophobic. I don't, me and you couldn't have had offices next door to each other without waiting.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I saw a Lifetime Christmas tree. The park will feature several Little Debbie snack shaped play sculptures such as an oatmeal cream pie and nutty bar kid and adult fits friendly seating skull. They're making a park bench out of a nutty buddy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A cosmic brownie climbing wall. Why are they picking all my favorites? A six foot tall poly shield Christmas tree. Praise God. You know, the Lord does love us.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A life-sized bronze statue of Little Debbie herself may be in the works.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The little Debbie park, you can hit a driver to it from right that exit. It is that exit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Three days ago. You missed it. Way to go. You missed it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do you know where the tractor supply is? At that exit? Mhm. Right behind it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was so confused this morning. Why? But I really wasn't. Because I was trying to ship something, and it was saying all different stuff, but I didn't have to figure it out because stamps.com figured it out for me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Somebody changed the name of everything. It wasn't first class anymore, but I was like, well, this is going, this is easy, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, and two packs of crappie nibbles are headed to Houston, Texas.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How many stamps did it take? I don't know. They just told me the price and they printed off the label. I weighed it. They put the sticker on there with the printer and boom. That's right. That fast. And they're going to pick it up this afternoon and it'll be catching crappie in Houston. Probably bye.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was one of the early episodes, so we were talking. And you got uhm, where's the Virginia Beach? And Sy said, you know what they should make?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well how'd they have that movie Free Willy? That wasn't Shamu, that was Willy. Was it?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's like, hey, what's the movie called? Free Willy. What happens? Well, they free Willy. I thought they were just protecting. The end.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So is his name Matt Damon or Jason Bourne? See, now I'm confused. His name is actually David Webb.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's what I'd have said. He's seen it. He got it. He probably read the books. The guy, David Webb. David Webb's


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But you know what? If the whole movie Jason Bourne was just about a kid named Jason being born, it would be like Free Willy and it wouldn't be as good. No, sure wouldn't.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh yeaah, that ball bounced off that Canadian's face straight into his own goal.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I hate it for him. Oh, that's Canadian. We beat you Beth and not even your own sport or our sport. Now who do they play?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There you go, we got like 17 movie references in that one segment.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In your MyPillar sheets, after you dry it off with your MyPillar towel, you walk to your bed in your MySlippers. It's the best.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're gonna want another, and right now, you can get another one free!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Can we, can we also say though that there's a solid chance if you've hunted down


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] At the mouth of Cyprus, as much as y'all have, that hearing might not be y'all's best thing from gunshots.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause like my uncle, my uncle hunted with y'all all back in the day. I was just around him.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He gone. Oh, that checks up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was in a deer stand one time, a tree stand, and all of a sudden there was an owl right beside me at night and I freaked out. Cause it was huge. Oh no no no. There he goes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No noise. Watch him. Watch him. Oh, he got him. He already got him. Never knew what hit him. Never knew.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's through the ice. Boom. Right through. Polar bears are so cool.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I couldn't do that. That polar bear would sneak up on you and rip your leg off and then beat you with it. He gonna have to come in my house.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That was at the St. Louis Zoo. Woah. They got a polar bear. Look at that. Look at that rascal.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, he was swimming. And I said, boy, if that glass doesn't hold, me and my kids are out of there. I was gonna trip one of them other kids. Run. You would, wouldn't you? Gotta protect me and mine, man.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I always got a plan of escape at the zoo in case there's a, there's a disaster at hand.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That was him grizzly. That's true too. They got fingers though.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Are you kidding me? Ain't nobody else disgusting who would win in a fight gorillas or grizzly bears. Okay. Any F Downs ain't doing that. Okay, who's that?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know that they've ever fought them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It would be a fair match. No, it wouldn't be fair. AZanimals.com says grizzly bear all the way.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know, but that sucker was scaring me. I had a plan if he broke through that glass


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't think he's real though. He's a cartoon. Uhm, Ben emails in. Where's Ben from? Doesn't say.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] His brother is 16 and a, I'm quoting this, super gorgeous girl has told her friends that she likes him and she's been waiting since February for him to ask her out and he is too scared.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And he has a 99 Chevy pickup with no air conditioning and has never had a girlfriend and been on a date and he didn't know I'm sending this so hopefully he doesn't beat me up. But do you have any advice for him like what to do on the first date? First off,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The world's greatest first car is a 1999 Chevy Silverado Z71. With that third door that butterflies open, your boy had one too. Of course it was 2005 so it was probably a little cooler back then.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's some trees in the picture of the truck, but I don't know. Weeping willow.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's pretty clean. Texas Ranger Cup. He's from Texas. Do not take her in this card. It's too hot in Texas.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, so the question we have to ask though is... But he got them chrome mirrors, look at him now. I'm telling you, I had that truck. Is that your truck?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Mine was gray with a red pinstripe down the side of it. Six inch skydraker lips, 35 inch Mickey tops. That thing was sick. Any Hoosers.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Or meet there. Just, meet there is a great option, but, I mean, it's kinda confident if you just say, hey, you wanna go on a date? Cool, pick me up at seven.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Don't drive it though, because if you wreck it, her parents are gonna kill you, you'll never recover.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hey, we're in here, it's Duck Call Room, welcome to the Duck Call Room, episode 259, which is insane, and it has the potential.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We might need it later, but hey look, we got Mr. Christine in the building with Sy. We have lots of questions. You know, we never get all the answers we need about Sy. So we got more questions just to ask you two. Uh, but y'all recently went on a trip. All y'all, Mr. Christine was on this?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That is a cool plane. Ms. Christine, why didn't you go on that? Oh, I don't take long trips unless it's for fun.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm on Ms. Christine's side on that one. That's a long ride.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sy's got a great point here. Don't wake me up in the home.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And everybody else is cool. Ms. Christine, you were on this plane? Yes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Me and Willie were on a weird situation like that once, and I was losing my mind. It was scary.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, we were on there and the, the, the, the sensor starts going off that we were losing pressure, but that was wrong. And we look up and one of the pilots has done put on, he looked like Tom Cruise in Top Gun, the first one and the second.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I was like, Oh yeah. He was like, Hey, he turned around and said, boys, we're about to drop fast. We'll get you on the ground. Cause he's got this fighter mask on, but if y'all pass out, we'll see on the ground. And I just looked at Willie. I was like, well.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Miss Christine, Sy, it does say that, it freaks me out. Sy was telling us, did you recently went river dancing?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You look, you look like every cartoon gold miner I've ever seen.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Aren't you part of a rather large television show all about finding treasure? Well, yeah, hi, but they ain't, they ain't, they ain't done that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They ain't found the gold. They ain't found the gold, pa. Well, recently, cause I was there and saw y'all both did go out on the town.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Don't mean nothing. But other than the glasses, did you enjoy the movie?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And now all you gotta do is go sit in a room by his dad and about, uh, 200,000 people listen to him every time they have a Bible study, which is even crazier to think about.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Have a good summer. All them lunches I eat every day.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I haven't had it today, but I had a box come in this morning, lunch for the whole week. I got a jalapeno, lime, cheddar chicken waiting on me when I get back to work. Whoa, whoa. This is technically my lunch break, but I forgot I didn't have time to eat, but I'm going to eat when I get back because boom, two minutes in the microwave. It's good. That was really good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The app is the best part. You get to go grocery shopping and order your food and it shows up that week and then you pick which one you want to eat which day. I love it. They're making good food and then shipping it to your door. It is a win win win.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Ms. Christine, you're taking Cy on a vacay because I already, we already found out you're out on Alaska.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You weren't, you weren't, you didn't get to go there, but you didn't really want to. Where, where are y'all going?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You, see I would go ziplining before I went parasailing. No.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay. Would you rather swim with dolphins or ride a giraffe?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's beards too uneven to really plant out the fire batons. No, you don't do that. No, it's very dangerous. That's dangerous. That is true.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, well we're gonna, now that we know that y'all are going on Hawaii, I'm so excited for you. That's gonna be awesome. It's gonna be fun.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, we're not concerned with you and how you think. We just want our, our wives to think we look good. And one way to do that is by wearing Tommy John underwear. Look, it's summer, which means your briquettes are glowing, your hot dogs roasting, your buns are toasting, and that's all just in your shorts.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Save the heat for the cookout, y'all. Treat yourself to effortlessly cool Tommy John underwear this summer. Leave the swamp down at Phil's house, not in your pants. Keep your boys cool, dry, and comfy in your new


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Tommy John underwear. When you wear Tommy John, you're so much more comfortable and you can do everything better. So if I sound better right now, I'm wearing Tommy John.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, we got fanatics. That is what Tommy John has and they can prove it cause they've sold over 20 million pair, thousands of five stars reviews.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Guys across America love their Tommy Johns because there's no more flopping, sticking or chasing. One Tommy John fanatic raves the most comfortable boxer briefs ever. There's no downside. Buy one pair and you'll never want to wear any other underwear again. Look, we've been talking about them for like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A year, maybe two years now, whenever we found out about them and we're all about them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And you can get bet your boys you're always covered by Tommy John's best pair you'll ever wear or it's free.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] dot com slash duck, commie john dot com slash duck, see site for details.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Y'all end up with traveling with her a lot and you tell people that's Paula Deen. Do people take pictures with her? Oh yeah. Oh yeah. You're mean. People go home and say, Hey, look who I got a picture with.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Some people have too much money. I think there might be a thing. That's hilarious. Uhm, so y'all have been all over the world together.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, y'all have been all over the western hemisphere together.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm on her side on this one. So of all the places y'all have lived, where was your favorite, Ms. Christine? I would have to be Germany. Germany.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Joe Owen? Man, if my granddaddy ever yelled at me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How, so you land and nobody, nobody knows you're coming.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, technically, they loved you so much they kept you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think, I think her sword spot has a little more clout than the bell's.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm just gonna say it. Zach Dasher, if you're listening, you've already made a movie about Phil Robertson's life.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm going to send us out of here with a Bible verse that probably Miss Christine had to live by being married to Cy. You ready?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Look, that's a winding story. It wasn't, you know, full of the, the terrible things that Phil and Kay went through, but there was a lot of stuff. I can't imagine hopping off a plane in Germany and nobody there to pick me up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's right. With a child and being like, I'm here, what am I supposed to do? And they would say, not be here is what you're supposed to do. So y'all's life is an incredible testimony as well. I'm proud to know both of you and we'll see y'all next time right here in the duck call room. Ms. Christine, you are amazing. Thank you for joining us. Thank you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This guy has been doing stuff. Hold on. Can I read one? Uh, number one, ambushed in Honduras.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Number three has literally been shot at, beat up, and cut with a knife.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, so what have you done on this list?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You did? I puked everywhere cause I was sick, but I had to see the Mona Lisa and then they rubbed it off, so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Don't even try it. Don't even try it. There ain't no Tommy Topper on there. I'm not. Let's get heavy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Carrick from Kansas City, Missouri. He ain't heavy. He's my brother. Yeah, probably.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's not heavy, but he wants the recent Jason Aldean controversy. Oh, I ain't heard this. I ain't heard this. Hey, try that in a small town. Try that in a small town.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, so, you don't know what happened? He has a song. People are labeling it as- Oh, he's got a bunch of songs.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The song is basically, uh, you want to hit somebody, you want to steal an old lady's car at a red light, pull a gun on somebody that owns a liquor store. Hey, this ain't country. Try that, oh, cuss a cop, spit in his face, stomp on a flag. If you want to do all that, try it in a small town. That's the song.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And apparently that's been labeled as bad. So they, they don't like it? I don't know who they are.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Now you know, but people are upset, labeling it as stuff it's not.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He says, we have two main requirements, love the Lord first and our neighbors as ourselves second. Aim at two commands. But at some point there's this line of our beliefs and we have to love them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, but they're opposite of our beliefs. Oh no, this order's from headquarters. This order's from headquarters.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So here's the direct question. So when does trusting in the Lord and loving our neighbor and do what is asked of us biblically become not standing up for our beliefs, pushing back enough against the evil taking over our country or toeing the line of truth and not backing down? That's where he, cause he's like, I gotta love these people, but also they, I totally believe the opposite of them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, and I think people, this new, it's like Jesus loved everybody no matter what, but, and he did. And when the woman was at the well and she had been living a terrible life of sin, he said, who's gonna throw the first rock?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Go for it. And he didn't, even though he had the opportunity to, but his next words to her weren't, okay, I love you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That was a fun one. I was trying to get us on the clove awards. Hey, I like it. Alright, I got one from Hunter from Pennsylvania. Uh oh. Sounds familiar.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm wondering how you would cope with the Proverbs 31 woman of my dreams saying she will never see me as more than a friend. I've known her for a few years, we both go to the same church, our church family as a whole is quite close, cares for her greatly,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's torn up though. Never had any luck at all with girls and I thought it would be a perfect match if she were the one. I see her and talk to her all the time. I'm still young, 22 years old.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, I'm praying for guidance and patience, but if y'all have any advice or could give me a laugh or two, I'd appreciate it. Hunter, this isn't you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's got the same last name as you is the thing. I, I understand how that looks.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's funny. Yeah, I think Martin gave a good advice. Get in the gym, get, make yourself more desirable, get to work. Yeah. Get the, make yourself, you're young, make yourself successful in life.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Start hustling, uh, start, you know, you know, if she's a Proverbs 31 woman, there ain't nothing more attractive than a man that looks like Jesus to her.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Let's talk about a bucket list. Now that we've answered most of the world's problems. Bucket list.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes. I got bad news. What? I think once you get to heaven, you ain't gonna wanna come back and look at this place. Right? Like it's gonna be... No, I think he's...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Remember my uncle Max Moose that he had in his living room? That thing was awesome.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hold on, hold on. This coincides with my, uh, bucket list.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, I would go to, to Africa. Africa? Yeah. And safari, and then get on one of them boats with one of them fake seals, and drag it behind you to the great white, I'd like to see that in person.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, a chop-o is pretty good, but it ain't- It ain't that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What we got? Oh, I was, I was pulling it up and now I've lost it. Uh oh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] At this, those who heard begin to go away one at a time. Jesus just said, why don't y'all go ahead and start throwing rocks. Go away one at a time, the older ones first until only Jesus was left with the woman still standing there. So where are your accusers?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Jesus straightened up and asked her, woman, where are they? Has no one continued? No one, sir, she said. Then neither do I continue. Go now and leave your life of sin. It's a very important part of the story.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Other than the glasses. You can't love somebody too much. You can't if he's married, leave him alone.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A what? A narwhal. What is that? You don't know what a narwhal is? I do, but- It's like the unicorn of the ocean?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hey, I'm looking at her website right now. They got the best ones for summer 101. Wow. Summertime means the 4th of July and they got American flag Tommy Johns. Boom. Look at that. Look at that. Look at that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't think I could go back to school. I've decided that. I don't want to.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Also Sharpe. Oh, okay. You never watch Dirty Jobs? No. He goes around and just finds people that do like really dirty jobs.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's two jobs on the episode. One is a beaver relocated. The other one is slime master. That sounds like a dirty job.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's your bottle on Etsy right now. Skunk Perfume. $30. Hey!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That was rough. I'm telling you. I'm, I'm reading the reviews for just pure skunk essence and people are saying it's just absolutely awful. And therefore, so now they're giving it five stars because that's what they wanted, which is weird enough in themselves. But, but somebody reviewed it and gave it one star.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And said, I bought this to keep my neighbor and his dog out of my yard.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is like LaCroix made skunk water. Well hey, he must be like Phil. He don't mind bad boulder smell. Well yea, cause he's rubbing it on over all his own stuff and then thinking it's going to keep other people away. Well if it keeps the dog away, if he don't want a dog in his yard, hey, go for it. But he specifically said a human being. Oh. He said his neighbor Amber. Why would you want to buy that?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What you said. I turned it off. I don't even want to accidentally, like, let her talk to me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, I've never met a Siri, but... You've met an Alexa? Or an Alexis? I don't know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So it is. English from the United Kingdom, English from South Africa, English from Singapore.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Singapore? Is there a different? Oh, heck yea, I just turned my Siri into, well, I turned it on, now she's Irish.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Elite. I just found that out cause I was telling somebody about my match and said, look, you take it. I was showing the quiz and said, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Cause I ain't got no lead. I might have to upgrade.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yank. Cause I was about to say I might send back my platinum and get an elite, but I just realized, oh no, I got a lux. Yeah. And so get an elite, but I can't, I've had that thing for more than a hundred days, but you know what? Wouldn't send it back if they paid me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I didn't watch it all. Okay. Got good cheese. I took that train one time up to the Matterhorn. No, you didn't. Cause I wasn't walking. Yeaah, I was like 19. Did you? Mhm. Wait.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No offense to West Virginia, I'm sure it's nice up there, but.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I really thought I had a chance when you were like the most beautiful train in the whole wide world. I was like, ooh, say the only one I've been on. Say the only one. And you're like, oh, West Virginia. And then you literally sang Country Road, Take Me Home.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You took a train from where? New Orleans to Jackson, Mississippi. I didn't have a car. Okay. So I had to get close to home. How was that? You enjoy it? It was all right. I like a train ride. I wish we had like trains. If the interstate of America all had a train right beside them, I'd be training all over the place. Well, I think that goes to Germany.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, only one person's done that. What is a river? Two people have done that. Boy, did I almost just get comments.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I just want you to know you put this on Instagram and I already moved out. I exited out. Oh no, it's fine. Watch. Don't touch that thing on your children. Watch. What's about to happen? Wait for it. What's about to happen?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You run first, get the shovel and then get to high ground.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's been two of them, so I gotta bring it up. That's it. Alright. And I watched the first one. The first one's a TikTok, and we can't play that or anything. But Catherine emailed in, Uncle Si is right again, and she sent me a TikTok. And you know Rob Lowe, the actor?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Chicken or I have a steak cooked medium rare plus and doesn't check up? Doesn't slow down?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's just like a matter of fact thing that medium rare plus is a thing. So Catherine had to tell me, Uncle Si is right. Look, Rob Lowe agrees. And I'm like, I ain't reading that on the podcast. And then lo and behold, Daniel.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] From Ringgold Georgia emails in. Ringgold Georgia.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And he headed over to Gunnersville and went to Big Mike Steakhouse, which is clearly where you belong, which sounds, I mean, Big Mike Steakhouse sounds like a place. Oh, like Gunnersville? Oh, like Gunnersville sounds like a place.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The menu says medium's the best for the steaks, and he's more of a medium well guy, though Daniel, which that's kinda weird man, medium rare is where it's at, uh, and he asks the waitress.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And the waitress recommends medium plus. What's medium plus?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's, but uh, apparently the five or six that we had weren't good enough and Si started a movement.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Genesis 3, 14, the Lord God said to the serpent, because you have done this, cursed are you more than all cattle and more than every beast on the field, on your belly you will go and dust you will eat all the days of your life. That's right. Snake stink.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] 1876 is when the telephone was invented. When the telephone was invented? That's an old table. I didn't know Apple been around. Oh, Bill. Alexander Graham Bell.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I googled stuff that happened in 1878. He googled it, baby. What else happened? Apparently just one domino table and the, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How much, am I allowed to ask this question? How much does a 150 year old


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's like all adding them up to fives and tens and then, and figuring out what the other people got. Cause you know what dominoes are out and what you got. So you know, so you're blocking them and stuff. You try to block them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Are you aware that it is not a pole, a backboard, and a net anymore? There are more parts to a basketball goal than I've ever imagined in my whole life.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, no, there was like 472. I'll fix that, he's got the new version.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You needed like a PhD in construction management and four people to work with you to put this basketball together.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, Allison helped for like 20 minutes and then she left because the kids needed dinner or something like, I don't know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so then I'm holding it and I finally got it together, but I didn't know they made them like that now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When I was a kid, if you wanted to raise or lower the goal, you had to get a broom and just keep hitting it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wherever it was. 7 and a half feet up to 10 feet, that's what you had. Now it's like beep beep beep and it just does it itself.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So then I put it down to seven and a half feet, went inside, put my Herb Jones jersey on, just started dunking on them kids. It was the most fun I've had as a dad in a long time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know, but if you just pull this pin out on my goal and barely touch it, it goes to seven and a half feet and you just woooom. I look like Shaq out here.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I need to text Doug and make sure he gonna have y'all this brisket.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, sounds good to me. Let me just tell you something. You're gonna come back. I'm about to say something and you're gonna be offended.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I know, ain't nothing wrong with stones. Whatever they doing over here at this place is wild.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The way he gets this from, apparently George Bush used to be like, hey, take Air Force One, circle around, put her down, get me some brisket, and we're going back in the air.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I go with brisket popcorn, babe. Brisket anything's real good. Oh yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, the brisket's already ordered, but back to you. I texted him, I said, I might have just made you buy brisket, and he said, already ordered.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, well that's weird, but it is only long view, so yes. Yea, he puts, he puts photos in social cases.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hey, look, while we're at it, that's Friday.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So if you're anywhere near Longview. You wanna see Sy? You wanna see Sy? Six o'clock, High Ridge Church tomorrow in Longview.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it's called the Country Tavern. Country Tavern. Country Tavern. It's good. Oh, was it good?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know when you bite into like a really good pound cake? That's just soft and beautiful. It's got these.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Unless it was a medium plus steak.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It got some juice to it son. Oh, this is the juiciest brisket.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What's the best thing you've ever eaten? I legitimately think that brisket might be number one, but there is a, there's another one on there. So me and Willie were in Minneapolis and there was a steakhouse, me and Willie didn't go to steakhouses. It was like, we'd go, we'd try weird stuff all the time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it was at the hotel we stayed at, it was called Mayonnaise. And we were like, ah, we'll go there. Pretty good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Next night, we're like, well, we're still here. Let's just go back downstairs. We don't have to go find anything. And on the appetizer menu, it just said like, bacon. 20 bucks. And we're like, that seems...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Weird that it just says bacon. And so Willie called the waiter over and said, sir, uhm, what does the bacon entail? And he goes, it's just bacon.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And he was like, yeah, go ahead and bring that, cause Willie just had to know. I know the guy was looking at Willie like, tell me, what do you mean? I have pictures. It was like, one inch thick bacon, cooked.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Perfectly. It was like, it was like a steak.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then I ordered really like a slab of bacon. We couldn't quite figure out how they cooked it. So, like, that's not easy to cook.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Bacon's like steak-sized bacon, but if you- mayonnaise in Minneapolis knew how.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm not gonna put this photo on the screen, but there's also a picture of this one. And it was some little Italian place in New York, and me and Willie went.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then they brought it out and I was like, oh, they got my order wrong. That's not chicken parmesan. That's a pizza. Wrong. A pepperoni. It was a chicken parmesan.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Put out so flat, fried, perfectly crispy, then they put a pizza toppings on top.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] New York City's a big place. I could walk straight to it if I was there. I remember that place. I'd be like, that's where I'm going, everybody out of my way.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Look, look, look, here, here's their one. Hold on, hold on. Uh, it went away. Oh, I don't want to look at that crap. I smash out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's the one. That's the one they tried to take a picture of. This was just a Tuesday, son. That's when they were trying. Oh gosh. Alright, I gotta go to work.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And this is, I did not plan this. Okay. But are you ready for this? I always. One of my favorite places also I've ever eaten was in college, I was in a place called Galway, Ireland.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know. Rory, email me back and tell me if McDonald's is still open and send me a double X t-shirt. I got a medium back then. It does not fit and I think I lost it too. That place was legit. Any Hoosers, Rory emails in.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But he wants to know what Bible Phil uses. Do you know that answer?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Staying on the food train, Willard from Kentucky.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He recently got, uh, one of those grills you're fond of Martin, a pit boss.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There you go. Look, hey, I found McDonald's. They're still around. Look at you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's been there since 1902. Great fishing ship place. We don't have those here. You got another quick email? Uh, quick one. Maybe? This is interesting.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Mark from Bristol, Tennessee. He's been doing some math. Thunder Valley.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then one more, one more, one more. Go ahead. Please join us for the wedding of Ethan and Nicole. They sent us a, uh, wedding invitation and they asked us to RSVP. I don't know that we'll make it. Congrats. Uh-uh. Congratulations. But in August they're getting married.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was trying to wrap her up. I was wrapping her up. Wrap it up. John 635. Question. What's the best food you can ever have?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Then Jesus declared, I'm the bread of life. Whoever comes to me will never go hungry and whoever believes in me will never be thirsty.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You show up in like a Steve Irwin crocodile dundee hat.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm just sad Zyde didn't go with wearing the hat and having the uh, headphones on. He tried. I tried it but didn't work.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Happy happy happy. I lost my computer by the way. Where's it at? Oh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I don't know what happened to it. I feel naked over here.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Have you misplaced it for real? It's somewhere in my house, it's gotta be. But I bet I put it somewhere that made sense to me and then my wife moved it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I mean, how many squirrels could you legitimately defend yourself from?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] McMillan sent me a picture 20 minutes ago. He's in Longview eating at that edible barbecue right now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, well, if you hear Godwin talking about drinking while it's hot, you know we're talking about AG1 by Athletic Greens. I will tell you what hot or cold it's gonna do. It's gonna make your gut health better, increase the energy, immune system support. Look, if you hate taking pills and vitamins, this is- Hey, that's my best part, right there. One scoop?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You just feel better all around. This specifically says just mix the powder into ice cold water and drink it first thing each morning. That's it. So that's the advice I'm gonna give you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The generation right behind me, ehh, not so much. The generation after them, I got a little faith.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We had, we basically had Young Entrepreneur Day the other day at the store.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was fantastic. So I got a group of boys that they remind me of what Willie probably was at this age.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, they were just constantly outside. They set trot lines and they live close to the river and they will swim out there to them. I ain't got no boat. So they're just...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're constant, like sometimes they come to the store and I'm like, boys, we gots to shower before. Cause they, they go.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well these kids, they buy worms from me, and then they caught some giant grintle. I want to know what I call the Gothman. That's a prehistoric.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] CJ and Carter, well, the other Monday they come in the store and they're like, I gotta, I gotta talk to you. And I was like, what's up guys? And they said, I got a business proposition.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I was like, I feel like I'm going to lose in this situation. Cause like they come, they'll show up at five 45 and like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Amen, so I love these kids. So they come in and they said, we got lemonade staying.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I made pretty good money on, uh, Sunday.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Can we, can we have some space outside for a lemonade stand? Uh, and we'll give you 10%.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I said, hey, that's a pretty good deal. I said, here's the deal. You don't have to give me 10%, but you gotta make a sign that says you're raising money for red worms.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They towed it a heavy coo- They rode their bikes to Walmart. They had to buy all their own stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then they rode their bikes home. Next thing I know they got a wagon and they're pulling up a cooler. They bought the ice from me, which was funny.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Their sign says, too fun, honey, hoe, bait and tackle shop expenses. Oh, okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I like it. They're hustling and I was proud of them. And I was like, I ain't going to cut them no deals. I'm just going to give them spots. And I don't know that I could have made as much money as them because half of it was people are like proud to see a lemonade stand again in America and they were like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're gonna be on the bar, but uh, they said Tuesdays and Fridays. I was like, I don't know if we can do every Tuesday and Friday, but we'll work it out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] One of my favorite customers then comes in. I think she's about 11 or 12. She never buys anything.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But she's still my favorite customer because I'm her customer. She's raising money to like ride horses and go to tournaments.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] She walked in one day and it was my mom's birthday so I bought a bunch of them, never tried them and just took them home and I got home and I was like, well I need to find this human and get her on the line because I need her to come back all the time. Six months later she showed up and I said, where have you been?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'll tell her to put Duck Commander on the list. It's ShowCakes! She even got a thing on Facebook.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But yeaah, she raising money to go ride horses in them tournaments. I think she's pretty good too. Okay. But I said, hey, don't ever pass. When you're coming to West Monroe to sell, you gotta pass me from Farmable. Just stop here.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hey kids this summer, get a little side hustle, make you some cash, people will be proud of you. That's it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I would go back to like 1996, right before everybody got a car phone.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I do want a few people that went to Vietnam just to watch Si have them, uh, tires stolen off.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Fire away. We got some emails. I'm on my phone so I might not be as good at reading as I normally am even though I kind of struggle from reading. But there's one we gotta go and I, it's why I gotta read it word for word. There's no other way to do this than to read this word for word because you'd think I was making it up if I didn't. Hi, my name is Aaron and I'm from Oklahoma.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Good country. Good country. I'm in a bit of a situation and I'm needing some advice. Backtrack, subject line, desperately seeking advice. Okay. What's the situation? There's a girl at work that has a major crush on me and I like her too. That's a good thing. Here's the problem.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Martin, quit getting nervous. There ain't no problem here. There's a problem. Oh, there ain't a problem. She's the physical type and likes to show her affection by roughhousing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And by roughhousing, I mean she randomly slugs me in the arm and occasionally the kidney at any given moment.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And she's not what you'd call petite and at times I could accurately compare punches to getting hit by a sledgehammer.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Everybody claims she does that when she likes someone. From that claim, I'd say she thinks I'm her soulmate and I've got the bruises to prove my theory.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He says he wants to pursue her, but getting beat up regularly isn't exactly what he's into. Uh, so here's his problem. Should I choose love or personal safety? Please help.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Love is a tough thing. His skin looks like your shirt. Hey look, love is tough, buddy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I thought you, you went with, you just said take my breath away and you didn't go with that top gun.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Please, actually the most important thing you do in this whole situation is a follow-up email.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, if you go with the body slam. Now if you go with that two by four thing, do not video it. I'm not your lawyer, but I'm requesting you not to do that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Beth, I'm requesting for Paula to be on an episode very, very soon.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, well I don't have a Bible verse about slamming, body slamming, uh, your girlfriend.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Couldn't find one. Uh, but I'll go with this one. Isaiah 54 17. No weapon forged against you will prevail and you will refute every tongue that accuses you. This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord and this is their vindication from me declares the Lord.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I know if big boy got in the three point stand, somebody said get knocked on their butt.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Pretty, you've got, he's like Mr. Lee.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Here's the thing, okay, I was happy for y'all personally, okay, cause I've always said it and even shocked it at our podcast, my podcast.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We had some fans write in and say, but I've got this problem.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And we each gave them our what we would do with the situation they was in. And I was amazed at everybody's answer.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, the impact is what was, the award was for impact.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's stuff we've learned from life, living it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, no, no, but I'm just saying, it was actually, hey, I was shocked at the information that we really actually give out to the folks.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It ain't just blowing smoke, it's real based on real things that have happened in our life.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hey, these are the words you don't ever hear from Phil. Oh, it only takes a few minutes. Come on.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I did a few spots where they was interviewing me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I said, you're asking me questions about my brother.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I will tell you what I'm going to do, it's going to make me shed a few tears, but I'm going to go watch it. I've done bends through it. Yeaah. But I'm going to watch the new product.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, that's the great thing about this, okay?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is that God says it this way, once you go down and you reenact.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Jesus Christ, the Son of God's death, burial and resurrection. Once you reenact that, you are a new creation.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Every filthy thing that I've ever done has been erased.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's in the ground. That was the funniest, that was the coolest thing my brother has ever told me when I come in on leave one time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And what he told him was the truth. Guys, you're looking for a dead man. He's buried.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've done prayer to him and put him away. He's gone forever. You're looking at the new creation.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Which is the greatest thing there is about, you know, Jesus.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I, it's, it's new. So I don't got to preach it. We're going to bring you, we're going to bring you back. Well, hey, that's preaching. Okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And Hank got on the right path and he's been on it ever since. And not only has he been on that path, he shared what he learned with everybody he comes in contact with.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, that's the thing, okay, out of all. Your little sister did that. The whole family.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The whole family had, had written feel all as a loss.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And you don't know it, you can't see it, but I can. If I never get him, someone to tell him about Jesus.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I am too, cause I am. Cause you snooker me. Well, hey, you just snooker me. I still love you and I still try, you know, I still want the best for you. I never look for the bad in people. It's there. Cause people ask me what I learned from Vietnam that, Oh, I can go to the dark side that quick. Cause I went there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well no, it's always, the door is always right there for you to step through. Just like Christ's door. Now I can all open it. You come in my home.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I do. You're authentic. Yeah. I don't mind being crazy. I tried being normal for 10 minutes. They'd like to kill me. I had to give it up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, and like when I, uh, people don't understand when I say that's my brother. You know, I get a lot of this stuff second hand.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, especially about okay, threw them out and came the kids are, you know, just threw them out of the house and I get, I'm sick of you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yo, think about that. Is older brother scared of him?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He used to look like Popeye the Sailor Man. His forearms were twice as big as his biceps.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, as I can see, God, the one about the sand, walking in the sand. He says, where were you, Lord? He said, them are not your footprint, son. That's me. I'm carrying you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I can see that all throughout all the Robertsons life. Dad, Mom, you know, Phil and Kay, you and Lisa, everybody.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Jesus was religious and none of the rest of the family, her family was religious.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause for you it wasn't religious. Right. At the time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I, when I think I think of the song daddy's hands. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Think about Heavenly Father hands. He's always got, he's got you back.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I've seen it in my life so many times when I didn't have nothing, couldn't see any way out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because I remember we used to go to, uh, Oklahoma to Tulsa. They used to have a workshop up there every year.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We'd go up there and the first time I went in that big arena and they saw, loved one another and it was just awesome.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I got one coming up in Mississippi. Then I got one coming up in Kansas.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There you go. Kansas City. Kansas City. He wants to meet Goblin real bad. Man, I got one in August. Where we going? Tennessee.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's October. That's October. August, I'm going to plug.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's had a birthday month. Some would say three quarters of a century. So anyway.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sy was here long before us, but did anybody else see, like, I was coming to the office, coming back to the office from lunch, and there was a caravan of police officers. Of the police? Of course, first time I saw it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He had evaded them for quite some time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because I didn't see the cops till we got, I got almost to the office and then, but I thought it was like, is the president here or something? Cause they were like across three lanes of traffic going. And I'm like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well that's gotta be something, so I pull over and I look and I'm like, well they ain't escorting nobody. They after somebody.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If y'all have ever been here, you know Arby's right next door and I saw him come out of Arby's on two wheels. He probably spilt his horseradish sauce on it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've prayed I wouldn't get caught. I mean, I ain't saying I ain't ever done nothing wrong. But once I got caught, I just gave up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm glad you brought up being a sophomore in high school because I've been sent a little clip of something that I want you to listen to. When he was a sophomore? From when your high school days. So when we come back from our first break, I'm going to play it for you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You could go young again. And I'd be a walking symbol of it because if I could take a time machine, I'd probably go start it ten years ago.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But as it is, you know what's really cool is they're not only talking about men here.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Brittany's on neutrophil because of the postpartum stuff. Is she? She signed up for the neutrophil postpartum. She's taking it every day.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We're gonna see what happens. Oh yea, her hair coming out. Mega. Like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It used to be the dog hair was all we swept. No, she's out doing Jude right now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There you go. You know what I call them? Spiders. Cause she takes it after she washes her hair and balls it up and sticks it on the wall.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it, whenever you turn the hot water on again, it jumps off at you. Brittany! Hygiene, Brittany! Oh, that's all she does. Hey look, I'd rather it be there than in the drain. Amen. I can clean it from there if she forgets it. Much easier than having to dig a drain. That is true. But hopefully we're not going to have to worry about that now that she's on neutrophils.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] For better hair growth, Nutrifol targets the root cause of thinning hair like stress, hormones, environment, lifestyle, and nutrition, so you're not just treating it from the outside.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're actually supporting hair growth from the inside by getting healthier. It is whole body warmers. Look, neutrophil works.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Clinical studies show it. So you will notice an improvement after three and six months with neutrophil. It's been proven time and again.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Brittany's been on it for like two and a half, three weeks now, so I'm interested to see where we get to here pretty quickly.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's going to be cool. Take the first step to visibly thicker, healthier hair for a limited time. NutriFold is offering our listeners $10 off your first month subscription.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And free shipping when you go to neutrofold.com slash men.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And enter the promo code duck. Find out why over 3,500 healthcare professionals recommend Nutri-Fold for healthier hair.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] neutrophil dot com slash men spelled n-u-t-r-a-f-o-l dot com slash men and enter promo code. That's neutrophil dot com slash men promo code.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We stay pretty in tune with our fans and messages and all that that are sent to us. So, I got sent a bunch of messages about something that involved our lovely co-host over here.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I gotta see, Sy, we all know how good Sy's memory is, so I need to know, Sy, do you know a man named Dan Flores? Let me look.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because he knows you. He looks like he would sit beside a fire. Intimately. Some may say.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I'll let, I'll let Dan tell it, because we have the clip from the Joe Rogan podcast, which is where this come from, you know, Joe Rogan.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's a PhD, uh, I do know that cause I've listened to the clip a few times, but we're just gonna play the clip, right, Hunter? I don't know what the clip is.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes, Mr. Rogan. We gotta get that guy on though, right? I mean, if the fans want, I think we do because, uh, selfishly, Dan, I don't know you. I don't either. I will, however, if you commit, research you a little more, become familiar with what you're doing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I kind of selfishly want to know what else he knows. I want to hear story 112. I want to hear, I want to know did did Sy Shoes stink when he played basketball? Cause I bet Dan was on the basketball team too if he's the quarterback of the football team.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Still has really heard of, they've heard it mentioned as Vivian, Louisiana, but not really.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And there you go. Dan was one of those guys. He got to wear Phil's number. How fun would that be to sit down with like Dan, Phil, Si, a fire.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And maybe even a dark beverage of your choice and just sit back and listen. Like I don't even want, I don't want to talk. They may not even know that I'm there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That would be the ultimate. Lie on the wall, listen to those three old conjurers get back and talk about Vivian and Louisiana running through Dovefields.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But folks at home, fans of our podcast, look, if you want Dan on here, just let us know. We'll do our best to get him on here. I want him on here. I do too, but unfortunately I don't get to make that call, but they can. So, but let's take our first break. We'll be back right after this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My buddies ain't in town fishing very often. They are today. If that gets me fired, then that gum and it gets me fired. But I'm going to talk to Bam because I don't think there's anything in our employee handbook about me watching fish and being wrong.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And with Bambi's HR Autopilot, you'll automate important HR practices like setting policies, training and feedback. So if you wish...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] To add an addendum in there about me watching fishing, you can!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There you go, man. I don't know what else to tell you other than it'll save you a ton, a ton of money. And look, when you're a small business, you got to save everything you can. If that means putting 80 grand back in your pocket, which is what an HR salary is.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] For the most part, there you go. Bambi can do it at just $99 a month. You can schedule your free conversation today to see how much Bambi can take off your plate. Go to Bambi.com right now and type in duck call room under podcast. When you sign up, it will really help our show spelled BAMBEEE.com Bambi.com and type in duck call room.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He does have a PhD. I am aware of that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's true. You know, it's his story. He can take creative license with it. You need to add a few details here and there. Spice it up. Keep it fresh. Number seven. But that was wild.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm a Leopold guy, really, really like his stuff, like Sand County Almanac and all that kind of stuff. It's actually really...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Really good reads. And that's one thing about Rogan that a lot of people don't know. So we've been...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Back during the day, we obviously crossed paths with Mr. Rogan a lot because he's a hunter.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, Joe's always, he was right, he's always respected us, always took time to shake our hand, places we've been together, so. Not a surprise that Joe would have him on his, on his show, so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wow. I think that would have been neat. No comment about the person on the cover.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh man, it'd have been wild to be here when it was here.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Instead, we got a sandalized drainage ditch now, so it's not near as cool as it used to be.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yep, but nah, that's a damn, I mean.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Unfortunately, I have a feeling Dan, come on here, it'd be like the nerd hour, which I'm, I'm all for. By the way. I'll, I'll unnerd it up. I mean.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's done went full bore into it. Once he goes in, he's not gonna, he's not gonna be able to talk about the wampus cats and all that no more. I mean, it's gonna be...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, you could read his books. I just want to know if he remembers the Monster Man. I want to know if he remembers getting beat 77 to 70.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's, that's when you got your pet. And he's going to know about robbing the beehive.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Dan, I'm offering you a fifth chair full time, that's all I'm going with.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's a very different podcast, but we'll at least straighten a few things out. And these guys are still really funny, Dan. Very true.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, here's what I'll tell you I did. I thought that they were the first couple of nights, so I went and hid all of my pillows.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I put out the guest pillows and I hid my pillows cause I didn't want their stinking fish breath all over my pillows.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hey, you gotta bring ya on. Look, and that's the cool thing about my pillow, they make a travel one if you want it. Bada bing, bada boom. Now, I did leave the sheets on there so they can sleep on the most comfortable sheets. Look, in the bathroom, they can dry off with great towels. Did you get everybody a personalized pair of my slippers? No, those are all Brittany's and they can fight her over them. I'm not, I'm not going there. So, look.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know how much we love MyPillow products from Mike Lindell, the MyPillow guy. Mike invented MyPillow. It had everything you want in a pillow until now because the MyPillow 2.0 really does have everything you want in a pillow.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Look, it's got cooling technology, and since it's a fabric, not a finish, it's gonna stay there forever. It doesn't matter how many times you wash it, dry it, clean it, all that, it's still gonna be there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Core body temperature plays a big role in how you sleep. That's two things you want. I guarantee you. And it's the softest, smoothest and coolest pillow you'll ever own.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My pillow 2.0 with temperature regulating technology is 100% made in the USA and comes with a 10 year warranty and a 60 day money back guarantee.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There you go. Si, you're still using the towels, aren't you? Oh, what are you talking about? I wasn't using any other. That's what I'm, that's what I mean.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There you go, I don't, we, I, we can't tell you anymore than what we've already told you about him, I just don't-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] All you have to do is go to MyPillow.com slash Duck to get the all new MyPillow 2.0. Right now get the all new MyPillow 2.0 and you get the second one absolutely free when you use promo code Duck. Again, just go to MyPillow.com slash


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I'm just gonna, and knowing you as well as I know you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We won't tell anybody y'all are here. Yeaah. We can keep it low key. Oh yeaah. I'll take a selfie, but I won't post it. Yeaah, there you go. Till later. Till later. That's wild though.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Anyway, at blindmovie.com then come watch it with Sire Thiel. Okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Anyhoosers. There you go. The movie's coming, it's gonna be good. That's pretty tight though. Like, I mean you're on the trailer of a movie.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's like one of my favorite parts of Duck Dynasty was crafty.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The only problem with this photo is that you don't have said vintage beer can in your hand.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Now I, well forget the accent. Upstate New York, they're as big if not bigger rednecks than we are.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They like the Canadian Rednecks, which are weird. I mean, what, but what, I mean, the, what's the opposite of Yankee? The problem is the opposite of Yankee used to be rebel. I'm not going to say you're a rebel, but you're a Redneck.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I just, I got a question about a broken fishing pole and why that requires an email.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I had a TV fall out of the back of a truck once. There we go. That's the one I was looking for. Don't worry about it. That's the one I was looking for. Black Friday too, right? No.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I just kept reading. It was broke. I broke a fishing rod yesterday.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But you bought a Bill Dance fishing pole and I'm certain you've seen how many times Bill Dance has closed fishing rods in a tailgate. It's a lot. So actually I think that was just part of the signature on the rod, man.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Or how to spread the gospel with elders. I wish there was a way to combine Jay Stone, bidet owner, and Vic's vapor rub into one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right, I mean when you're young and you're faith and you want to get other people in it, who hadn't felt unqualified?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The problem is you're thinking that you're putting some value on the messenger, which is yourself.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Which there is no value on you necessarily in this case, it's all in the message. So as long as you're sharing the correct message, any messenger will do.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Don't let age hold you back because I listen to Sadie stuff who is quite my junior. Oh yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Way better than any, but I leave inspired from listening to Sadie Robertson speak. She's got a different view than you. And she is, I'm just saying, she's a good bit younger than me, so don't let age define you or stop you from any of that. Just share the message of faith, hope, and love.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We heard. That's not a hobby. I said there's people that do it as a hobby. No, that's just people that are nosy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Spilled horse ride or something? Went to Arby's? He was a big Harley Davidson man. Okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, I, I can't follow a motorbike.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Now you got to think about this. They would get to chasing him and he would head toward Arkansas.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And we'll break it down and I'll be over it for the fence getting.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Now see, Si, when we were younger, we would- Hey, Michael, I'm not telling you he's a little loopy, he's not right in the head. Cause he was running from him to begin with.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So hey, if the cop had caught him, it was gonna cost you about $5.50.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Something my high school buddies did, cause they had a car. And 75 years old. If you ain't got a car, you can't drive fast. Okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's right. No, I didn't melt them, but I did get them so hot that I could walk on asphalt and you would hear


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And look, I wish I'd have had one thing that day.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So if I had a coat and a stopwatch, I would hold every record from the 40 meter run to the 10 mile marathon. How old were you? That was, I was a sophomore in high school.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, no, no, cause look, my brother, really, my oldest brother, Jimmy Frank.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Was responsible for a lot of people that went to North Kato High School.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, and actually got scholarships for football. Cause he made us play. Well, hey, we didn't want to play. And it was, oh yeah, you're going to play. Get out there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Here's the bad thing about this, about being chased by the farmers.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, my mother sold Avon to all the farm wives.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then right before she left, she said, uh, Ms. Robson, would you do me a favor? You know, this is former her husband. And she said, yeah, if, you know, if I can. She said, don't tell your kids. He said, we have too much fun chasing them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Don't tell, so look we had permission the whole time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Except, hey, he made mama tell him, promise that, hey, no, don't tell him because, hey, we love it when, when they hear our pickup coming, that they're like wild deer. They take off running wide open. We had, we had our, our basketball coach. He like squirrel hunt, you know, and we said, hey, we found them. You know, come on, go with us, coach.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And like, we don't ever tell them until, until we hear them pick up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Then somewhere, then all you hear from one of us is, run coach!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yo, he's looking, he's standing there when the guy slides sideways up there. Hey, what are you doing on my property? Yo, he said, hey, look, I don't know nothing about that. But we had permission, but hey, mama didn't tell us they were actually got, got left, left dick.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'd like to talk to him now that he wrote that, cause hey, when we was in high school, back in Dixie, okay, I was personally chased by wolves.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That all the farmers came together and, you know, tell me how to make meat and tell me what we're going to do.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, and, and ever, all of them agreed, told me, well, hey, we should try to get off some cash.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And bring in, you know, hunters and trappers.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And do something about it, because they're not, you know, tacking like a, a, a newborn cat.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're pulling full grown cows, full grown bulls down, cause hey, it's a hundred and a hundred and fifty to a pack.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, so it wasn't, it wasn't nothing for us to get on the school bus. We had 30, 30 mile run. Okay, so we'd get on the bus at seven o'clock, get to school by eight.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And when they was trapping and poisoning them, hey, we'd say 350 that they killed the night before or trapped the night before. Hanging on fence lines.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, we're chest deep on old river Mallard Mallard are coming in.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And we're on the tree line. That's why we're chest deep.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So we squeeze out the edge of the tree and we'll let them swim up in range and then whack them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, but hey, we done killed a limit. Okay. Maybe over a limit. I had a toe sack on our back. Okay. Blood, you know, cause you shot them. Okay. We're here. Great. Why next time we know how they are, they own our trail and fields. How many shares you got? And I said, I got about eight.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He said, I got three. I said, we ain't got many shells here, buddy. And that sounded like a big pack.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hey, that was why we just boom, boom, boom, boom. We'll stop all that howling anyway. But they chased us all the way home.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, to actually come to Louisiana, like in the 1700s, 1800s. You'd have to ask Dan Flores, probably. I don't know, cause I'm telling you, that was when, hey, that was when elk, buffalo,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Up the Black River and the Ouachita and made a trek.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There you go. So, yeaah. He was interested because he lived there and fished there for 25 years. Yeaah. So how cool is that?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, no, no, yeaah, with shell beds on it and shell, uh, just yeaah. Shell.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, he, look, he's got a PhD. The man is very intelligent.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I would like to talk to him because I wanted his book to him every time I...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When me and mom and dad are sitting on the porch in the summertime.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I look and I see a big black cloud coming toward us. And it's the swarm of honeybees. And then they go to the next door neighbor's house.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Light on one of them vines of them yellow, yellow vine flowers. And dad goes around there and takes a hammer on the old shed we had, knocks a knot out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Grabbed two chairs, sits in front of that knot, and hanks to come with me boy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I said, do what? He's coming with me and he's got a butcher knife in his hand. Do what? He goes over and when...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's a ball of them about this big around on the, on the farm.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And he said, grab it, grab it right there. And I said, grab what? He said, grab it at the vine right there and hold it real still.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They just, they just, they balled up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I hold it, daddy cuts it off on this side, then goes over and he grabs it and cuts it off on the other side, and we walk carefully. Okay, and these bees are


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause I was scared to death. They won't go over there and hey, we set it down on them two chairs in front of that knothole on that old shed.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And he sits there for about 20, 20 minutes, maybe 25, and finally I see him do this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then from then on, we had our own honey, honey factory right there in that, in that old shit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He thumped the queen bee in, and hey, as soon as he did, that thing got out, and look, every year we would rob it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hey, but hey, look, honey, you know, they found, they have, they found honey in the pyramids and it was still edible.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I broke a pole, but it was on a belt.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My brother had brought a brand new fishing pole. It was in the middle of Brownlee Road for a minute. I set the hook on about a four pounder and it snapped. Where at? And I landed it. What? With a broken fishing pole. Of course you did.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I actually landed that one I caught. I did not.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, just because they're elderly, older than you, they may never have heard about Jesus.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, no, buckle up everybody. That generation is the one that was, you know, went wild, went rebel in every direction. Yeah. Aren't you part of that?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was my generation, but I wasn't part of it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, no, no, no, no, no. See, that's what, they ain't tell you that. I got that six, they started at 6.30. I took it for two hours solid, a little more.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You, you were one of the fighters? No, no, I'm watching the fight.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I went and told Nan, I said, Nan, hey, go tell Stone, I wish him luck, I know he'll get his belt. I said, but I'm outta here, I can't take this anymore.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, no, no, this was for five, two and a half hours, okay, as I'm watching him rattle somebody.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Roll him up to the cliff and round when you think they're gonna push him over and just let him die.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, they gave him a break, just hit the guy or girl that's with him, that one leaves, and then it's like five seconds and then tell him, let's go again.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, because if they leave you a minute alone, then you gotta do sit-ups, or push-ups, or jumping jacks. You don't get no break.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, cause hey look, the discipline and, and the uh, physical endurance that he displayed, I ain't there and never will be.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] VK with the AR-15 was fully loaded and then my brother and with his AR-15 loaded. They're not people you want to mess with.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] B.B. and Bobo, you little rat tears. And all of them are the same way.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. That don't go with a man. Buddy, I tried. I tried my hardest. You can't pull it off. No, I ain't got...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Which one? Both of them. Both of them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, hey, when you do a challenge between four strips of bacon and three green beans, hey.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That is very redundant. Right. No, I just, I just put emphasis on the awl. He put emphasis. Yeah, awl or awl. Awesome.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, and if it keeps turning out, the travel time is turning out like it does, I won't go north ever again.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I had to lay over in Dallas and sleep in, you know, in a hotel that smelled just like weed.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And we finally make it to the room and I'm laying on the bed. And I said, oh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I said to, you know, I just said out loud, I said, that's what it is. And Philip said, what?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I said, you don't smell all that weed that somebody around here has been smoking? He said, I was wondering what that foul odor was. He said, you're right, that's what that is.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This one here actually was decent. That's, that's wild. I'm happy for you. Me and Phil were shocked. He said this is actually, I said it is, it's actually a good biscuit and sausage and egg.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Or that, or an Uber car. And I've done that before in Nashville.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You don't think you have to worry about it? Nope. She might, well I'm telling you, since you got her in jujitsu and she's learning discipline and all that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Society? Oh yeaah, society is going backwards. Oh no doubt. That's what I wanted to tell you. Okay. The further we go in the future, the worse we're going toward back to the Cayman days. Back to the future.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I live with a woman whose nose is as sensitive as I ever have seen on anyone. Trust me when I tell you, if I stank my wife they get your ugly nasty butt in the shower and get soap on you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hey look, I've had too many women tell me, they get up when I put my arm around them, they say, man you smell good. I said I know it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is your polish still on? Oh no, hey, I tell you, they gonna bury this old boy with it. My, you know, my Mardi Gras colors on my toenails.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, they had a little sharp end, a sniff, sniff, sniff. It was scary watching them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then the brush, the bottom of the fake coat.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was like a doctor was hitting his, his knee, and he was, waaaayyyy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, she said, you like it? I said, yeah, I loved it. I said, and not only that, now I've got my toenails are painted in Mardi Gras colors.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, no, it's either there or the starch in the uniform.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I think it's the starch in the uniform that wore it off. Because boots, boots ain't no, ain't no, no. I mean, my whole route up to here is nothing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, he got paid for it and they put it on the front of a magazine and hey, it was hilarious. I loved it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm impressed now. Oh, that impresses you? Oh yeaah, I'm impressed now you're showing me the crossbow. Good grief.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're a butter drinker? Yep, and almond chocolate almonds. Almond juice? Oh, what did you tell me? I hurt myself on some almonds.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That was a good gig if you can get it. That was one of my favorite, plus the other one was, the other one was my favorite. The whole family was there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They asked me, somebody, somebody asked a question about, well, what would you consider yourself like? You know, compare yourself to something. Space and a disease? And I said, no, I said, I'm like space or like a disease.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This thing had no window and it was dark. I was watching.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The other time we stopped somewhere on a plane in between flights and everybody goes in and it's like, it's like me, Martin, Godwin, Phil, Jason, Willie, all of them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You've made the bet, we're all in. I said, I've called. I said, since you made the bet and I called, I said, show me your card. And he said,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I said, you don't have any cards? I said, so guess who loses this hand? I said, it's you buddy. Bye. Bye.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it was the same kind of deal, you know, they were saying, well, okay, yeah, we can do this. Okay. We can write there as a whole. We'll, we'll flip through and be good now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They got, we got in that thing and got up and look, it's supposed to be like an hour and fifteen minute flight. Okay. Three and a half hours.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, and like you said, Willie's over here and he- He's laughing. He's like a stupid cowboy at a rodeo. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, when you say first class, no, you've never really went first class unless you go with the Seminole Indians.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was like, hey man, I'm switching from whatever I have. Hey, the stewardess is one way of walking up to get on the plane. Welcome aboard. And like I said, she's fine.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay. And then the first time when I stick my head inside the plane, it ain't seats. It's couches. It's luxury couches. That's wild, man. That you literally just fall into and you're like floating on the cloud. I love the Seminole. We had couches.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He said, what do you want to shoot? And I said, well, there's no season up. He said, whatever you want to shoot is open, baby.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My move would make you take a little bit, you know, and swallow it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That is clearly against the legend. I like that told Phil. Don't get it near your eyes because it's like gasoline. It's got a vapor to it. Which will sting your eyes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm looking at a pair of boots on JD's computer. So Willie emails in from Cleveland, Ohio. Okay. Willie from Cleveland, Ohio.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's nice. Take them, take them and throw them in the garbage. How in the world would you walk with them? Or you can actually put them in a bonfire and burn them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, and I'm gonna blow both of them heads off clean off of them boots.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, cause y'all said we're at the start. Yeah, that's what he wants to know. Okay, get you a canyon pole, go dig some worms, put it in a can.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Think about how dangerous that is when you say something like that. What? You know, you got what? 500 kids that are going through that at a school.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yo, so we walk behind this knife and then the next thing you hear is someone, God, you just beat on my hand. And I said, well, get it out of the way.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But that, that was my favorite episode is when I had that, that knucklehead handcuff me and he had to go everywhere I had to go.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, you know, get your hand off of that. I said, hey, I want to see the receptionist. I got something to ask her.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So the ladies finally come out and I said, hey, where's Mountain Man? Let's get this show on the road, y'all. So she said, well, follow me, y'all.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And first thing, as soon as he opened his mouth, Bounce man out there, ding ding ding ding ding ding ding. When he quit, yo, I said, hey, if you hit me again, I'm gonna knock you out, boy. Look, that episode aired.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Here comes, uh, FedEx, or UPS. UPS, I think, the brown truck.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He comes driving up, look, he comes in there with a box about four foot wide and about four foot tall. You know, he brings it in, you know, I opened it up and I look and there's 12 bales on a one by 12.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They had sanded it down, varnished it real pretty, and then glued.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Twelve different sized bells on this thing, and look, it fit perfectly on my recliner.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I said, what did Tina the housekeeper do with my bongo bells? And she said, Tina didn't do nothing with them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] She said, I had three options here. She said,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're driving me insane with them stupid bells. I said, but I was getting so good at it. She said, that's all in your mind. And I said, but hey, we'll discuss that later. I said, what did you do with my bongo bells? And she said, well, I had three options. I could kill you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] She said, that was, nah, I couldn't do that, I like you, I'm gonna keep you around. Or I could divorce you. She said, that's that, that ain't good. Y'all.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] She said, cause I kinda got attached to you like an old dog, you know, I like to have you around.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I threw him in the trash can, the trash people have ran and they're gone. And I went, let me get this just straight. One of my friends worked his tail off, just sweated like a dog.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Mountain man is like an old tube of toothpaste that you're, you're, you've done, took your, your toothbrush and done like this to run it down to where you get the last little bit out. Yeah. When mountain man's around me and he starts talking, I want to do him just like I do that toothpaste.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hold on, he, hey, you know, we've had people, we've picked people up at the airport driving back home. You don't take them to drop them at a hotel.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I said, hey, is Mountain Man, does he really talk like that? Well, it's about 10.30 at night. Well, so hey, I said, Phil, call Mountain Man. So he gets him on the phone.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Y'all and Phillip said, hey man, man, there's no sign. Phillip, what are you doing?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm going home, I'm going home with Phillip and Alicia. They've invited me for dinner. We've come, come out of the church building. James has pulled up and he just got, you know, killed some ducks so he gave them to my mountain man.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, Mountain Man comes walking out, we're fixing to leave. He's got a handful of ducks, you know, both hands.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, Jace, he, uh, he killed his this morning and he, he brought him, gave him to me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He said, I ain't got time to listen to him tell a story for two hours about how he got to that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's an electrician and an air conditioning genius.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Willie's air went off, you know, so that's how he met him. And first thing he said, he said, my man.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well hey, look, that's just tea stain. Good grief.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Field don't want better than that on the pipeline down there on your property. He sunk that big green tractor.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He got it out by hooking three or four four-wheelers together. What?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hook changed to him and hey, all of them were just fogging it to him.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah, all kinds of snatch blocks and chains on it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The dozer and four four four wheelers. Side by side.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, go down there and put it, put it in there and throw it, you know, till it stops. You know, so I loaded one of them stupid four-wheeler down there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, right there, take a left on the flag, that lawn.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well hey, just, the axle just busted, just BOOM!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, leave it there and take, take care of it. I said, hey look.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, by realizing, okay, you're not what you want to be.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Start one at a time. You got anger, anger problems. Hey, get rid of the anger, bring in some self control.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hey, change that. You want some peace?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, there's about 14 different things to the gift of the Holy Spirit. That'll keep you busy, because it's keeping me busy. I got problems I got. Okay, and I'm working on it just like I said, one at a time. Take one, try to get rid of this. Okay, one of my biggest ones is patience. Okay, and this man will testify, because I go fishing with him and his daughter.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And me and her are both a lot alike because we're lacking in patience.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] God, like I said, that's why, that's why this is a relationship.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, if you turn it over to Him and you're trying, cause look, that's all Jesus asked us to do. Keep our eyes focused on Him, cause we're gonna mess up. I do it every day.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's just gonna happen. The thing is, okay, hey, look up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And all he's gonna say is, hey, dust the dust off of you son, get back up, let's get on with business.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When I first walked up and we got in the stand looking, I'm looking at the food plot and I said boy that food plot looks really green. And then I done that and I said oh no wonder, this is a green tinted paradise.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Here's the question, you're a biologist, but.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Educate me on deer antlers. How do they grow?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, it's on top of the deer's head.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's where his brain is at. It's, it's when they grow these antlers, is that what fills them up is brains.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, it can't be bone. It's gotta be something that's like liquid to fill them up when they're growing them.