[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That seems to be one of the, uh, one of the quirks of Alaska, since sundown lasts for four hours, mosquitoes have a sizable chunk of the entire day to roam out like crazy. Oh, they love your skin. That's where Michael Bay should go to film all his movies.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh my gosh. But brief aside, this is related to games mastering. We were talking about how, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I like the main attractions in Alaska are Stickin' Wheel and Cup and Ball, or in Juneau, sorry.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then a girl at the wedding had a cupping ball. And like, she was doing crazy tricks and like popping it, throwing it under her arm. But Bruce, Bruce put a stop to that. She took off running and he tackled her. How old was she? She was like, I'm gonna say like 12, 13? Anyway, sorry.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But yea, animals will just bash the shit out of themselves and as long as they're spongy, just roll with it. I dunno.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Whereas humans have emotions. So, let me, let me display to you the majesty of Alaska.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I get it though. Sometimes you get bored of climbing on a house and you want to do it really drunk one day.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, I think it's pretty justified in saying that that game has the broadest reach in Marvel Universe that I've seen. Ultimate Alliance had pretty much everybody, but this game does too. It's broad and relevant is what I like about it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it's actually pretty educational. To wit, Marvel Puzzle Quest has a ton of in-game content for Ant-Man and the Wasp, as they are featured in the Growth Industry event going on now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And they have Ghost coming to the game really soon, which, if you're not familiar, is, is...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, so yes, you can join such Marvel luminaries as Adam, Joel,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Nah, nevermind. Uh, you can download Marvel Puzzle Quest using the link in the description, or go through gorg-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Go to, sorry I got too tussled up thinking about Marvel, d3go.com slash dudesoup.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Some fellows in the chat are saying that the stream is not synced.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay. Yeah, I don't know if that's, I don't know if it's worth trying, uh, to, to fix at the moment or, or not.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wasp's actress is so hot. Yea, Evangeline Lilly. I'm glad she's finally getting a lead. She's back. Who do you want to play?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah guys, if you're watching live and have sync issues, just give it a reload maybe. Uhm, but, uh, we're gonna move on.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, uh, we're running a little short on time. I guess we can hit this quickly. So this, uh, actually Omar, sorry to distract you yet again.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Gonna need you to tap that hot topic button because we got a hot topic on our hands. Boo! Oh man, he's on it! Yeah! Uh, yeah, we gotta, we gotta get a better keying thing. Anyways.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, alright, so, uh, there has been an incident where somebody was mean on Twitter and then got fired. Uhm, so Jessica Price is kind of the figurehead in this particular incident. Uhm, a fellow co-worker also got fired.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Presumably, yeah, so there's a report on Polygon, other reporters are, uh, are trying to pick it up, picking up on it basically.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You just popped off on some dude for complaining the Xbox was always online.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, chat, sorry. Table that real quick. James.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I wasn't gonna say anything. Oh yea, your fort's still there. I apologize, I totally lost the thread there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] God, I love that guy. Okay, good. Uhm, before we get into this, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Who works on Guild Wars 2. And she published a pretty long Twitter thread about writing for MMOs.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Thread's actually really good. We're very, very perceptive, thought provoking.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, somebody who doesn't have an existing personality really is just sort of an insert for the player. That's true. I've played a lot of games like that, they tend to work pretty well.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Now, there was a, there is a influencer streamer, uh, goes by


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't either. Uhm, but posted a what I consider pretty respectful, engaging and constructive series of replies. Uhm, I guess I'll just go ahead and read those just for the sake of context. They write, really interesting thread to read. Okay emoji.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, however, allow me to disagree slightly. I don't believe the issue lies in the MMORPG genre itself, as your wording seemingly suggests. I believe the issue lies in the constraints of the Living Story's narrative design.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When you want the outcome to be the same across the board for all players' experiences, then yes, by design you are extremely limited in how you can construct the personality of the PC or player character.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But if instead, players are given the option to meaningfully express their character through branching dialogue options, which also aren't just on the checklist for an achievement that forces you through all dialogue options, then perhaps players would be more invested in the role-playing aspect of that particular MMORPG. Nonetheless, I appreciate the insightful thread.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Not bad. I've certainly, certainly been part of and seen much more negative interactions on the internet.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That and said, uh, today in being a female game dev, quote, allow me, a person who does not work with you, explain to you how to do your job.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, a little biting, not so bad, but she kept tweeting.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The attempt of fans to exert ownership over our personal lives and times are something I am hardcore about stopping. You don't own me, and I don't owe you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So uh, bearing in mind that the person that is basically the brunt of this reaction is a streamer of the game.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Somebody that has pretty good PR relationships with the company.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's not a great reaction, but I also get, and have been guilty of this myself, when you get a lot of negativity,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You tend, like there is one straw that breaks the camel's back and it can vent on someone who's not exactly expressing that negativity. I've done that before.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] She was dismissed on July 5th, along with a coworker that, that by her accounting stuck up for her.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It may have been. Yeah, my colliding with the concrete wall may have corresponded with, uh, Jessica's hitting tweet. Butterfly effect, man. So what this has done is it is, and by the way, when she said all this on July 4th, a lot of the


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And again, I didn't see this, this is me reading what happened. Uhm, the community, the Guild Wars community


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Was pretty upset by this reaction and this, this attitude.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So they, they, they kind of raised a bit of a stink about it. I don't know if it amounts to regaining, which is, you know, when people raise a bit of a mob to attack somebody.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What was the specific reason? So there, yeah, the uhm, the president of ArenaNet posted this statement on the forums, uh, oop, it, I'm gonna full screen it kinda, there we go.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So it is, it has kind of sparked this discussion about


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Starts and ends. I think Jessica Price is right to say on my own time I can say whatever I want, but that's not said in a vacuum.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Given a game developer culture, somebody who... ArenaNet doesn't really have a legacy of...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Of being rowdy with their player base, or firing people for being public about their opinions, so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is kind of an outlier in those regards. But yeaah, I would be shocked if I got fired for saying something online. Especially given that I have a, as far as I know, pretty good history.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If it's possible to separate that from this particular issue, a couple of things that I encourage you guys to consider before passing judgment is that, uhm, in my experience, which is just my experience, a pop off like that isn't typically fireable. It's bad, but it's not fireable.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Unless there's other things going on, which I'm not saying there are. I'm just saying sometimes when something like this happens.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There were other things leading up to it that weren't fireable by themselves, and then something else happens that draws a lot of attention and eyeballs to a thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Still not the best. Especially given that he was actually pretty respectful and engaging, I thought. But, she had to deal with a lot of shit that isn't that guy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, she prefaces it with, since I spent all kinds of time saying it on a reddit AMA, and I haven't talked about actual game dev on Twitter in a while, here's a thread about writing her PC character in a note.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, uh, what I like is, uh, let's see here. Executor.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And if at a certain pattern, where somebody's uncooperative, provoking at work, maybe hard to work with, and it's like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is like, shit. She's not good on the team, or they. Shouldn't do that, sorry. They're not good on the team, but nothing is fireable yet.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But once something is big and visible, and everyone on the team wants them gone, then even as a manager it gets hard to say, well I can't fire her.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When everyone else is like, look, she's like talking shit. They are talking shit. Sorry. I'm trying to think it is.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I, uhm, don't have a conclusion or judgement on this, I just, I would encourage all of you, no matter how you feel about it, what presumptions you're bringing into it, to embrace that we don't have the full story, because


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Jessica's free to do interviews. People at an arena net are not really.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So you're never gonna get the full story, even if everyone had total freedom to talk. So...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just remind yourself that you don't know every aspect of it and maybe don't make assumptions about motivations or who's doing what for what reason.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So he wanted to hook it up. There was no AB situation that made that VHS player remotely work in that house.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I might look it up on YouTube later. There's probably like a McDonald's commercial. Oh, there might be. Cause it was just, it was still distributed by Fox back then.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I'm trying to think like what circa, what 2000's era movies would Fox slap in front of fucking Star Wars.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's another one that Jacob shared later, apparently, uh, Woody Harrelson's character? Mhmm. Mentioned.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Almost. He mentioned, like, one of the, uh, one of the people who were watching the pod race, he mentioned that he shoved her off a balcony or something. Like, somewhere in solo.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, burro, burro sopas are handcrafted in North Carolina and shipped to you in boxes. And you can assemble them yourself.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I did it. I built my burrow and it was pretty easy. There's like a lot of latches and clasps.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You gotta snap in there, it's actually, you don't need any tools. Uhm, the, the seats are held together with these cool little latches, and then the pegs screw on with these thumb bolts.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, shipping is fast and free, unlike the rest of the furniture industry, they say. And, uh, you can enjoy 30 days on your comfortable burrow, risk free.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Or try out Burrow, one of their partner showrooms today. So you can either look one up, go try it, go try it itself.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Or uh, try it with their 30 day risk free trial. And you can get $75 off your purchase by going to burrow.com slash dude. That's B-U-R-R-O-W dot com slash dude for $75 off your purchase.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Now I can, I can bike, bike my ass off and then plop it right in the nice burrow. Should put it on the roof.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's a really good idea. Alright, I'm gonna move the burro up to my roof. Uh, again, burro.com, $75 off your purchase. Thanks for the sponsorship, burro. Okay, let's, let's net hard real quick.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm loading up my tabs here. Alright, so the winner of last week was Ohohojosama, uh, the YouTube channel that only pulls clips of anime women going ohohoho.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Already, huh? Ah, two months ago. Uh oh. I guess it, yeah, we might be in a lull here, but it's been going for years and years, so. It tends to come and go, fits and spurts, if you will. Turns out the one, so the...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Crouching around, I don't know. So who's the contender? No, okay, contender. Is Vive Hypnosis, which is not VR where you ask. But it is free, so it's got that going for it. Uhm, these are free erotic hypnosis DVDs. Or sorry, MP3s, my bad. Man, a DVD would be great.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, so this Vive, VIVE, intercapped, provides a variety of self-hypnosis MP3s for you to listen to.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh. There's also one that convinces you that you have a dick. Yeah, Packer.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then the hypnosis convinces you that that is in fact a real penis. Yea, that's for ladies. I like this one. This one's real quick and dirty. Swirly is an eight minute one designed to make you give yourself a swirly.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think, oh yeaah, heat string will give you a trigger that will immediately put you in heat, uh, so it's like it's a yarn you wrap around your wrist to make you, uh, get the rut. Listen to the weekend.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This will get you to milk real good. Yeah, yeah. Unfortunately, it's awfully quiet in here. It's probably for the best.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, uh, there's a deep clean file for those who have listened to something and now they don't like the effects. What is a curse? A curse refers to the file effects that stay permanently, either active all the time or triggered. The other category is temporary files.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] All for free! All caps. So, thank you, uh, thank you Vive for your service to the world. That's the game here.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's some testimonials down here, Macky Mack says this is amazing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, clearly, it's, it's, it's blowing up. Can you do Subway? I just wanna see what Subway is. Oh sure, yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I saw piggy. Piggy frac, what? Fractionation loop. A little fractionation loop to drive you deeper.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's, he's seeking, he's trying to spread his happiness to the world. As he sits next to you on a subway and whispers in your ear. Alright, uh, I guess we can, uh, we can vote now, so. God, I really wish I could find that clip. Cause that, that triggers me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Presumably, uh, yeaah, people that go to those webs- people that go to this website and have themselves hypnotized.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, before we bid you farewell, one final reminder that this podcast is sponsored by Casper.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, Casper is a great company that provides wonderful mattresses on the internet.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This show would be nothing if it did not sell things to you through the internet. So why go outside? Buy your mattresses online.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But, since Casper is so high tech, it was a new wave box spring. So instead of being just like a big wooden box, it was essentially this, uh, this like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Railing and then this roll of wooden planks that rolled out over it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, Casper's mattresses are also made in the USA, so if you're a true American and you get drunk and fall off of houses, you should want to support Casper for keeping the American lifestyle.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Free, because that's what America's all about. Uh, Casper's super easy, you just buy an order online, it's delivered to your house or apartment in a compact box, and it's got free shipping and free returns to both the US and Canada.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So you can try it and if you like it, keep it. If you don't, return it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, it's risk free. On top of that, you can get $50 towards select mattresses by visiting casper.com slash dudesoup and using our promo code dudesoup at checkout.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Terms and conditions apply, but that's $50 off. Select mattresses by going to casper.com slash dudesoup and using our promo code dudesoup at checkout. I've had a Casper mattress for the last


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But Casper's still fluffy, still a delicious firm marshmallow to sleep on every night. I keep calling things delicious. I don't know why. Uhm, do what works.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, uh, I apologize audience for not finding that one porn clip, but, uh, I don't remember what the name of that show is, but it's good. It's for the best.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Nothing but good-natured competition between ladies.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's funny going to individual websites. Somebody was lamenting that the internet at large has just condensed down into the big websites. People go to Facebook, Reddit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And Google them like, that's it. Nobody goes to wrestling.com. Aren't people into WWE, obviously.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The whole, the whole shotgun of garbage websites that have dumb chat rooms and like, visit counters and baked in music, that doesn't exist anymore. There's no like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just stumbling upon somebody's photo blog of their trip to Minnesota. So in a way, that's the spirit of Hard Net.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You guys are just too dang interesting. I didn't want to cut anyone off except when I had to. My pick got married. Congratulations.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes, congratulations to Matt Peake. Uhm, it was a wonderful ceremony. I wish nothing but the best for that beautiful man and his wonderful wife.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, but yeaah, thank you guys. You guys are beautiful as well. If you're watching live, thank you for having a first membership. Thank you for joining us.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just your participation is enough. And we'll be back next week. So thank you guys for watching.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Till then, bye everybody. Bye bye. So yea, sometimes I'll load into Splatoon 2, got that Octo Expansion going on, but, uh, yesterday, or I think it was, yea, it was July 1st. Yep. It's a good DLC, alright? But there were a lot of posts about how like, since Pride Month had ended, everybody had to stop being gay and all, I don't know, it's just weird stuff. Things you wouldn't expect to see in Splatoon.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] See, Canadian railroad builders just sent Chinese workers in with exploits.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And Blaine. And I thought I was gonna pee myself and I was like, oh my god, I don't know them that well. Piss myself in front of them on this train.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Remember in the movie Split? Oh yeaah. And she's like, just pee. Just pee on yourself. Yeaah, that's right. Yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Damn. I had an Uber driver recently that, uh, we were just talking about like the safety of being an Uber driver when I was in the car with her. And she's like, you know what, I'm a nurse in an ER and I get spit on by AIDS patients all day, like this is the last thing that I- Why are you so ungrateful?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's so unfortunate because I feel like the strength of a game with microtransactions relies on being able to mask it in such a way that it doesn't frustrate the player that's just going for like a casual...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Remind me, what was the limitation with Pokemon Go that you had to...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do you like this game? Of course you've played it. And he says no. Pass on it. He said no too? And you know what? I didn't like the animation either. I think, I thought there was a much more uhm...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, it's like, it's like, you know, Al Capone getting caught on tax fraud. It's like O.J. getting taken down for Vegas, Vegas theft. It's like one crime.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, if you can't get somebody on that. Get them on something else. Get them on another charge. Yea, that's true.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I mean, I guess it's like stealing user information is one thing, but if they, you know, it says they were also selling it, so then they were proactively selling what they were, it wasn't just a side effect that they were taking the information.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Nothing frustrates me more than having to provide credit card information as a contingency when I'm not actually making a purchase.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I know for them it's a safety contingency if you were to try to purchase something, but.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Or if you have a subscription, or if you have like a free trial.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, I think it's fair for extracting and compromising other people's data. I agree. For sure. Like the cheating aspect, no.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because you cheated. I think hacking, like, if somebody's just straight hacking a game, cheating in a game, ban them, that's, that's an offense, but...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When it comes down to that kind of, uh, invasion of privacy, stealing information, then I think, yeaah, they're, uhm, definitely should be penalized in that way.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Are they getting any type of, uhm, like prison? It's just the financial penalty.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, I mean, they're not facing prison time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's something to snee that, but it's still, it's still like, I don't know, to me, like... You just declare bankruptcy, move to a different state.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, yeah, you get penalized in some way, but you're not, yeah, I think, I think it's just like you get disgraced.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it's just like human nature and Thanos' to justify whatever the means to the ends in your actions are.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] For our purposes, like, cheating, griefing is really frustrating when you're trying to record a piece of content. Of course. And you need it to be able to play in a certain way so you can get the video you need. I saw recently Achievement Hunter, they were all tweeting, Michael tweeting, because there was somebody that just


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, like my last year of university, I think there was a professor that had that software that could scan for plagiarism, so it would give you a percentage of your paper that maybe matched.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well no, I think it's just looking for, you know, maybe you have a paragraph that is directly copied from something and that software would pick that up. But I think that was like a first line of defense for your professor where they're grading 200 papers so they're going to run them all through here and then there might be a couple that


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's hard pressed to find any educational institution that would say, yes, this is okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The thing is it, it, I mean I, I personally think...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think it's not, I mean it's not plagiarism because it's not direct copying but I think it's very unethical to pay for and submit a paper that is not yours that you did not write. I feel like that's indisputable


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think it also creates major disparity between students that can afford that and can't


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, that's something that I would never, I like, I think, if we were approached with a sponsorship like this, I would, I wouldn't want to do it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, some people I think would say like, oh, there are ghost writers.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it's supposed to teach you, like, independent critical thinking and being able to be analytical and put that on a page and present that, you know, your thoughts. But, like, I think a lot of people would say, like, well, when you're applying for a job, nobody's looking at your GPA.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wow, you may think writing that essay, uhm,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, may I plug something while they're checking my bitcoins? So this week is the finale of our season of Funhaus Theater Mode.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, finishing strong with the Zombie Island Massacre. Uh, it's our eighth episode. So dark. So if you missed last week, it was Heidi. And uh, that'll, we'll close out the season, but I'm sure we'll be back doing it again. You guys had a good time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Thank you guys for doing it. And Tyler Stabb in Austin coordinated with us too. And there was a whole team up there that was helping us with stuff. So yea, we're coming back.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You really just have to see the comments in the forum posts to really kind of get the full grasp of what this is. Yeah, if you want to do a quick scroll through that once, probably.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You get to live out your fantasy of the dog, feral dog life that you want.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A pet dog forever rejects the life of a no-tail pet. One cannot live with a paw in both worlds. They're right.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is the kind of shit that I'm like, yeah I fucking can, I'll do it. Like, you just made that up, I'll fucking made it up, make it obvious I can't.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think it's just somebody who only wanted to model a red TV and then they needed a filler in certain parts of the game.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] People use reductive reasoning, I tap it every time. And it never explodes. Well yea, think about it in terms of like, pressure.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Gamebusters. There have been a few shows like that. We're gonna tackle gaming myths. And then they run out like three, uh, three myths in... Well, whatever. I'm gonna roll the thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, all those calm Clancy books I read were abject lies. I remember I read the Rainbow Six book and they talked about how their super sweet SWAT silencers made it just sound like somebody coughing. Totally not a thing. Dang. I mean, maybe the SWAT ones.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Game balance is always like trade damage for, for silence for some reason. It's dumb. Hey everybody, welcome to, uh, welcome to a, uh, rumored bullet dude soup. It might come out this year, even though that's incredibly unlikely.


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[Assistant] I'm your host, Lauren Sontag, joined by a panelist of PlayStation experts, since we are about to discuss the PlayStation 5.


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[Assistant] First up is PlayStation enthusiast Jacob Fullerton. Hello.


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[Assistant] And then somebody that, uh, I will still not introduce properly, Lana.


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[Assistant] And then, uh, uh, PlayStation hater, Omar. You're not actually, but I have to, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh yeah, I put a lot of time on PS4. There's been a lot of great games. Yeah, I agree. Uh, there's also a lot of great sponsors for this program. Hey, Dollar Shave Club and Mack Weldon.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, you can get your Dollar Shave Club starter kit for just $5 at, uh, DollarShaveClub.com slash dude. And you can get 20% off your Mack Weldon order by going to MackWeldon.com and using our promo code Dude. More from them later. But first...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The ad rolls are not done. No, I'm gonna plug this off the top of the show this time, cause we need mon- money! We need people to come see us, we're doing a live show! April 26th, on Thursday.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, there is not a very popular monumental movie that's screening that night. So don't think about that. Instead think about this awesome show. Uh, I got a little promo for ya. A little, a little, a little tease out the mystery a little bit. Uhm.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We made a weird show, and we all play characters, and those characters are espousing a cult that we also made up. That's kinda what the show's about. It's still funny, I promise.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The issue with most ugly people is that they don't come to our show. If they do come to our show, they will become beautiful.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hey, there's some PlayStation 5 rumors speaking about the upcoming, uh, exclusive that no one here has access to God of War. Not at all.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Or will exist soon. Uh, one last note, uh, for the live show. It's gonna be weird and funny. Please come watch it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, that's Thursday, April 26th at the Regent Theater in downtown LA. And if you want to get tickets, uh, there's gonna be a link in the description. You can go check that out. But if you're listening over audio, uh, we made a little short URL to make it easier for you guys. It's bit.ly, bit.ly slash fhlive2. So bit.ly slash fhlive2.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, uh, it's time, guys. Uh, it's been five years since the last consoles launched, so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So it was 06-13, yea, 7 years. Uhm, so yea, there's been some rumors going around where we capped those real quick. Uh, oh, yea, this generation does feel weird, and I think another reason is that graphics got good enough that they didn't seem immediately dated.


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[Assistant] You know, there's no Toy Story that would be like, man, if games could look like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They do look like that, and better. Uhm, I-I don't know that anyone's really like, man, why can't my video game look like Transformers 5? Well, I mean- Look at all them voxels. Yeah, voxels and shit.


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[Assistant] It looks like Muddy Asshole. Yeah, there was like, Horizon Zero Dawn looks gorgeous. It does. God of War looks very good. It does. Uh, I think Gears 4 looks really amazing on a 1x. Uh, Forza Horizon.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So it's, it's, you're still getting wowed by the current generation. There was always this malaise heading into the later years of every generation, Super Nintendo and 64 PS1.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Where you can see the next thing. And it's so obviously better than this thing. But now it's just like, well they're still making amazing games and...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're like Pro and One X now have bumped up the spec quite a bit. So I feel like there's just not hunger for new hardware in the way that there used to be.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But that doesn't stop Sony apparently. Uh, so yeaah, semi-accurate.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Claim to, ugh, this, this article is, is intense, and I'm gonna read it, because man, uh, Charlie, Charlie, uh, Demergion, you got a chip on your shoulder, bro. What website is this? Semi Accurate.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You might recall when Semi Accurate told you about the different console cycle of the current gen consoles back in 2013. Back then, we said there would be a PS4.1, 4.2, 4.3, etc.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We also said the current gen consoles would be upgraded and not replaced from the ground up. Evolution, not revolution. People laughed. Devs laughed. We now have the PS4 Pro and the Xbox One X and they aren't laughing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They have professional and student level subscribers. Uh, you gotta sign up for their business.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But here are the bullet points as summarized by, uh, Lazy, L-L-A-Z-Y on Reset Era. Says it uses AMD's Navi as its base architecture. Not specifically using Navi, just the architecture. The CPU is a custom Zen chip. Uh, they say a large amount of dev kits have gone out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The author suggests that a 2018 release of the PS5 is not out of the question based on the amount of dev kits released, as this is quote, a sure sign that the launch is getting close. That's fucking wrong, but I'll get to that in a minute.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They also say VR goodies are baked in at the silicon level, which also doesn't make sense. Maybe it means that there's a system on a chip.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Dedicated to help rendering VR, but VR is just video games. You just have to render it twice since it's stereoscopic. So I don't understand what that could possibly mean.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, so that, those are the quick summary bits of the semi-accurate article. Uh, more recently, PSU,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Ran a story. On April 10th, it says PS5 leak looks totally fake, but you be the judge. There are some further details. So basically the narrative is semi-accurate ran their story. And then...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There was an actor somewhere behind the scenes that started sending out this PDF to a ton of gaming websites.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, you can either, you can either surmise that DevKits went out and a ton of different people started leaking information.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] To, to like, parrot and punch up that information. I've seen it happen both ways. Anyway.


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[Assistant] PS5 details and continue on. It's 100% backwards compatible with PS4 games.


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[Assistant] Fully compatible with PSVR and PlayStation Move, uh, they say the AMD Zen CPU has 8 cores.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And that the GPU has 14.2 teraflops, uh, and then they say 32 gigabytes of GDDR6 technology, which is also pretty absurd, and a 1 terabyte solid state drive.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, yeaah, you're getting into some heavy topics.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's hard to say, uhm, system or like bespoke CPUs, ones that are made for a specific computer, they don't have to be multifunction, they support their one instruction set and that's it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, it's bespoke in the sense that it doesn't, like it only has to run the operating system that they throw on it. And then the games make calls to that operating system that then talks to the chip. Right. So it, it would support x86, but they can also just lock out a lot of the extra stuff. Although I guess somebody could fuck with it.


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[Assistant] I, I, to be honest, I don't have a core enough understanding of the software vulnerabilities that Intel had in their chips.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My understanding and Omar, feel free to chip in more information.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it seemed like it was possible to, uh, to skim the, like, look-ahead functionality that CPUs do. Exactly. To try and, so CPUs will try and anticipate what you're about to do and get it all ready to go for you. Uhm, but if you can see that, then you know what the CPU is about to do, or you can, you can misdirect it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But, you're either running the game, running an OS, maybe you have an app in the background, like Spotify or something like that, and that's kind of it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So it's not like you can just sideload an OS onto it in PlayStation 3 RIP and do whatever you want with the processor. So by locking out a lot of multi-functionality that desktop CPUs have to use, they're able to sort of fine tune what is there directly down a path of intended operation. Which means they may not have to deal with those security flaws.


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[Assistant] Uh, they're also going with AMD, uh, instead of Intel, supposedly, which makes sense to me. AMD's been supplying console chips for a long time.


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[Assistant] Pretty much. That's where they get all their, that's where they get all their, uh, their money from these days. Uh, the thing, so the thing that I guess when you step up a bit and think about are these rumors feasible, first of all I think this thing coming out in 2018 is thoroughly not feasible for a number of reasons.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, one is that it kind of implies a misunderstanding of what a dev kit is and how it works. Uhm, dev kits come in waves. And the initial dev kit is usually just a PC that's kind of got a loose target spec on it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And all that's meant to do is to tell developers, this is roughly the amount of power you'll have to play with. And that has nothing to do with what the system architecture will be, and it has very little to do with how the games will run on the end systems. It's just, hey, if you want to start blue-skying about the games you can make, and you want to start hiring up for those projects, this is sort of the corral you'll have to put your game into.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And if that's what these specs are coming from, that kind of makes sense.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, well even if they did, they would probably get one, and it would probably be in some basement behind two locked doors. Because this is the kind of thing that, as demonstrated, people tend to run away with if they get any drip of information about. And hey, we're doing a podcast on it too, so whatever.


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[Assistant] Yeah, I think they're, they're, yeah, they're, they're bundling together all PlayStation brand sales, which is something they do. That's a pretty common tactic.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] All I read into the pro thing, there was, there used to be a lot of venture capital in any VR project. And giant companies like Sony are


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They still want money. And I don't know that they were necessarily courting uh, outside investment.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But, it was the sort of thing where every tech-forward company had to have a VR project.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think that the Pro was their solution to needing more power for VR-related games. Because PlayStation, PlayStation 4 can do VR, but it's not great.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But, it is a combination of both. If you have a normal PS4 and you run it through PSVR, it still doesn't even hit the resolution that headset can support. PS4 Pro gets better. Yea.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I rem- I do remember when Oculus had their big presser, Microsoft came out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I don't know. I guess, okay, so we're just rolling it back to the PS5 stuff. Uh, if I were to put my little stamp on it, to me it sounds like, yes, maybe there is a PC that got shipped to developers that is called a PS5 dev kit, but given the timetable,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A lot of people throwing around 2020, I think that's much more reasonable. Especially given the specs that are here.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Also, early dev kits tend to overshoot in terms of power by a great degree. And then once the hardware gets more refined, you can dial back some of the power because the system's operating more efficiently.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] She's a huge red flag. Oh yea, they also mention he uses a template similar to the PS4 Pro League in 2016. Which is proven to be accurate, but appears far less professional, so...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It seems like, with this round of it, semi-accurate stuff may have been accurate, but this stuff seems like somebody just took that old PDF, swapped out a lot of the numbers, and then tried to pass it around as a leak.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, you know, take it with a grain of salt. I think it's always one of those things where like, yes, there probably is a PS5 in development. Yes, Sony probably has a rough idea of what it's going to look like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That has to, that, that spec has to be finalized, and it has to go to manufacturing, and those are two very big milestones that haven't, I promise you haven't happened with PS5 yet. It takes...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Half a year of Chinese factories churning around the clock to crank out silicon to get it into a box and ship it to stores.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Basically, but it's crazy now with 1X, you can see the thinking in reverse. And it makes a lot of sense to me now, where they're like, okay, we got 360 and original Xbox rolling out on the 1X, and all those games are also punched up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Automatically. So it makes sense when, Omar to what you were referring to, now the Xbox brand


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's not about I have this chunk of plastic, it's I have access to a library of games I've accumulated over decades. And as new Xbox hardware comes out, I know that library is going to follow me, and it'll improve over time automatically. Which, hey, that's Steam. Every time you get a new computer you install Crysis just to see how good it runs.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. Okay, shit, wow. And it, it's, it's surreal, cause it's still the same game, but it's like crisp and high, like high framerate.


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[Assistant] That's one of the magic things about retro games, is your imagination kicks in automatically. Uh, but, it's time to, time to earn some money, time to pay the man.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You don't want to use imagination when you're shopping for bathing products.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, they also have a, they have an executive razor, which has an absurd amount of blades. Hold on, I wanna show this. You thought it couldn't get any better, and then it did.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, I'm pretty sure it's six. Six! Razors! Blades! They'll sheer everything off your face. That's... ridiculous. Yeah, awesome. Technology's come a long way.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Which sounds intense, but if you use it once, you'll kind of appreciate immediately the difference between that and shaving cream.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Shaving cream is like really foamy and it makes it hard to see your face. Shave butter is like very thin and sheen, but it's still very lubricating. So it lets you see exactly what you're shaving. It lets you see if you've missed any spots. You don't have to like wash down and then palm your entire face to see if you've missed any prickly hairs.


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[Assistant] Uh, so I like it a lot. They also offer peppermint ass wipes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're amazing. Yeaah. It makes you, it's like, it's like yodeling on a mountaintop. Except in your own bathroom.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But, uh, you can get a starter kit with a lot of their, uh, a lot of their items, including the One Wipe Charlies, the Shave Butter, and Executive Razor, for only $5. And that's at dollarshaveclub.com slash dude. So treat yourself right. Spend five bucks.


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[Assistant] There's exciting Cyberpunk news! Cause of course there is every week. Uh, you can't wait to play Cyberpunk on your PS5 and it's closer than ever. Let me, uh, boy, nothing but headlines about Cyberpunk. It's breaking all over the place. New Cyberpunk 2077 trailer could be coming soon! Claims comic book because there's a job listing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] On the website for a 3D generalist quote to make outstanding visual effects and lighting for trailers, ads, or cutscenes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wow! Cyberpunk, man, it's just nothing but activity over at CD Projekt Red. And we'll be back next week to run down all the-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, uhm, I feel like we've run through what's there, but do you guys have, so this is getting kind of weird because I feel like, kind of what we were talking about at the outset, the console space has shifted?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It used to be you get your shiny new box, you plug in a launch game to it, oh the polygons. Uhm, it's not quite, not quite like that anymore. Now there's more expectation, online connectivity, your library follows you. Uh, easy, easy grabs for PS5 would be backwards compatibility, more power, better VR, all that stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They work well enough, uh, and it makes sense to me that Sony would-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I mean, when you have your helmet on, it doesn't matter, but line of sight is a problem. There's some, like, you can't turn around. In VR, it's not room scale, you know, you're supposed to sit in a chair for PlayStation VR to a degree.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But yea, there were times in, uh, PlayStation VR I was playing like Rez Infinite and I'd be doing stuff over my shoulder.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, uh, yeaah, the camera would lose tracking if it like went behind my arm or behind my shoulder. I mean, whatever, these are zero world problems. I hope my VR won't track appropriately.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I better buy like a series of mirrors in my house so it can bounce off of- Uh, yea- Would that work?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, I don't think so. Probably not. It would just confuse everything. Yeaah. But uh, yeaah, better beer would be cool.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, when I think about the spaces that I play video games in, or how a new PlayStation console could factor into that, yea, at this point I pretty much just use it for exclusives, and they're good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I don't see how Sony can punch that up beyond where it already is. Right. The 4 Pro plays exclusives very well. Uh, it may not do like 4K60.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But, I don't really, I don't know. What does it do? Do you know? Uhm, I don't know what it ma- I mean, it can do 4K, but I think it's more of a, I think it's more of a processing thing. 4K60 takes a lot of horsepower.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My, my, my understanding is that it, it basically takes chunks of the image and renders certain parts of them at higher resolution than others. So the rendering, rendering engine gets to skip certain parts. It's almost like video encoding. In the way that it-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But yeaah, so the, the big thing I think that has sort of, cause to Omar what you were saying, like sit down on a couch, play a game.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I, I found a, uh, I'm using that Nvidia Shield, which streams games from my PC and it's very reliable and it works very well.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's got Bluetooth, but the Bluetooth antenna in that thing is not so great. I basically taught myself to use their proprietary Nvidia Shield controller, which isn't the best, but it does the job. But lag is pretty appreciably low. It makes most games playable. Like I've been playing Nioh and it hasn't killed me yet.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, so it's, uh. How do you like Nioh? Oh, I like it a lot. Yeah. I mean, I love those kinds of games, so I don't mind. Jesus Christ, this commercial. I don't mind. Like, you can take souls and flavor it whatever you want. Like, it could be Colonial America. I guess it was kind of Bloodborne.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] God, they keep harping on this David Lynch commercial. We just saw this one! Come on now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, they had PlayStation TV, uh, and no one cared, and that was a great piece of hardware.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How could maybe game streaming punch up in a way that would make me much more interested in PS5? The only thing I can think of...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And this is sort of a fairy tale that Microsoft was kicking around with their Azure cloud and stuff with 1x. Or the Xbox One basically. Trying to promise that the lower hardware spec wouldn't matter.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it cloud rendered everything, and we could do like 4k60 because there's some server farm somewhere grinding out my Jak and Daxter gameplay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That would be cool. I'd be into that, and I would probably like, I'd probably play around with that a lot.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But in terms of like a new chunk, a new box that I plug into my wall that plays games a little bit better.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Man, games on PC already have hit next-gen for me. Like, Final Fantasy XV on PC?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, I don't, I'm not waiting for the PS5 to show me what technologically games can become. Even though, even though their exclusives still do that, so I don't know why I'm whining. Like, Dino War looks amazing. Horizon Zero Dawn looked incredible.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it's, it's weird too because N-Nintendo, they didn't, when they launched the Switch,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They are, they are ostensibly still supporting 3DS, but that's the one platform right now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So in Sony's case, I don't know how they could both support a mobile and like, like living room platform unless they just copied the Switch. They do it like the Switch, right. Yeah. Portable hardware that you dock. Yeah. Which, okay, but Switch already grabbed that audience. So now you have to pull people away from Switch with


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, all of their properties, which is what they tried to do with Vita, but it didn't work.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I typically, I pick the game, the Switch game based on the environment I'm playing it in. So, if I am playing mobile, I'll do like Picross or a puzzle game. But if I can like, put it on a table and use a pro controller, or if it's docked, then I'll pick something a little more action intense.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Even broader than Nintendo found with the Switch.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But man, I'm hard pressed to think about what that might be.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, oh yeaah, there's switch revision rumors, and these are much more believable, which also means they're much less exciting. So, uh, this is again via reset era, uh, so this is, oh yeaah, people were diving through, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Firmware updates for the Switch. Like just diving, just digging through folder structures and all this stuff. And they started to see like new folders pop up, references to new things.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I can bottom line it for you, like the takeaway is that it's possible that the system on a chip inside the switch, the Tegra, Nvidia Tegra, might be bumping up a revision, so the current is 210, might be going to 214. Uhm, there's also some very tenuous links that the system RAM might be going from 4 to 8 gigabytes of RAM.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, but those two things, even if the Switch has a revision...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's not, that's not a new hardware kind of thing. That's just like, we found a way to make it cheaper.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And add some more, I don't know what more RAM could possibly benefit the Switch for.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I needed four gigs of ram for that voice chat. No, to me this just sounds like, uhm...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, kinda like what you were saying, even within the DSi and DS lights, those themselves had different model numbers. Because as time goes by, chip manufacturing gets cheaper, there's ways to...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Reduce costs by re-engineering the circuitry basically.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So if there's a bulk of chips that are cheaper, or going to become cheaper, and she's like, well let's use those and let's figure out how to, how to make the system operate the same way with those. So, Nintendo's classically very very good about driving down hardware costs through, through hardware revision.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, so this, this strikes me as that sort of thing. Uh, where it may be that, that this switch revision, like, can task switch just a little bit faster, but it'd be on the order of like fractions of a second probably.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But, uh, that, uh, also, well, real quick, let me, uh, let me earn some money and then you can ask another question. Aha! Yes, this podcast is also sponsored by Mack Weldon. If you're gonna take your switch out...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Out, or you take your, take your, uh, streaming PS, dockable PS5 onto the bus. You don't want to look like a schlubby little tool.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So you better go to Mack Weldon and buy some nice t-shirts and sweatpants so you can look awesome riding the bus playing your PS5. Uh, Mack Weldon says that this will be the most comfortable underwear, socks, shirts, undershirts, hoodies, and sweatpants you'll ever wear. Uh, I got-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Listen guys, sweat, sweatpants, that's, that's tired. Sweatshorts.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's wired as hell. You're gonna want those. Yeah, that's right. You can be, uh, you can be classy and lazy at the same time. Get yourself some, uh, get yourself some nice, nice, nice, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Look at that man, he looks happy. They all look very happy. Look at these. Relax and refined, the sweatshirt.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, the, the modern day intellectuals bottom wear.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's right. So if you, I'm telling you, uh, the way to be an adult is to figure out how to be


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Lazy and, and like disheveled without appearing lazy and disheveled. I'm totally doing that wrong. Sweatshorts are the way to do it. But they also offer an array of other, other things as you can see on the website here. They got underwear, undershirts, socks, tops, accessories, all sorts of goodies. And you can get 20% off all of it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] By using our code DUDE. So just go to MackWeldon.com, uh, and uh, load up your cart with all your goodies and then just put in our code DUDE for 20% off your holder.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it's got a little zipper on it. These are swim trunks. Board shorts. And they're expanding.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've never had, I've never had a problem with my balls slapping around while I'm swimming.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It sucks. It sucks. There's no reason and it feels terrible. I mean somebody has probably like smashed their balls like diving into, and they're like, oh if only there was a-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, okay, fair, fair, fair, fair. Fair, fair.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Remove netting from swim shorts after a five year old almost lost his penis when it became stuck! This is- look at that happy child!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, uh, I guess going back to the previous topic, what would you, what would you guys theoretically...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So wait, it was, did it slip out of your hands or was it a slow bomb?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, this is really weird. Some Italian dude is, uh, is cracking open a DualShock and sucking out all the guts and now a PlayStation has been served to him, uh, in a dish. Yeah, this, this ad's weird.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is, I think when Sony was trying to, trying to do like, like viral ads or something? Uh oh. You guys remember this, right? No.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How, wait, so that's confusing to me. Were you in like, business class or anything?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I just think the kickstand needs to go out further so it reclines back more. But if it were bigger, that would work too.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm scared it'll break. It's meant to be breakaway, uhm, the reason being that engineers at Nintendo figured that people would try to dock it with that thing out, so when a kid slams it down into a dock they want to make sure it pops out instead of actually snapping and breaking. So there's like little metal retention clips that are meant to flex and pop. It sounds terrible, but it's meant to come out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, cause they know what they're doing, they're pretty smart. But yeaah, it's uh, yeaah, I would like, like, all the obvious things like punch up in hardware spec, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It'd be cool if, I mean a lot of people have made portable mobile docks and stuff. It would be cool if there were just like, kind of like, you know how Xbox has a dongle that like, plugs into the bottom of the controller?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It'd be kinda neat if there was just something like that. Like you just jam something in and they neither...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A lot of people have. Yea, people have made a lot of accessories. But they've also kinda, I've read reports that third party accessories like that have fucked up switches. Interesting.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is a fucking lie. This is a lie. Yeah, you're right. But hey man, it captures people's attention.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And actually, Omar, have you used the, uh, that little dog grip thing that you slide the joycons into to turn it into more of a traditional controller? Not really.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Ah, I agree. The other, the other thing that, uh, that I kind of, going back to playing games on an airplane, it's like I can't leave it on the table because the, the display angle is so sharp that, like, you can't see it, but also, like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Maybe this is just me getting older, having bad posture, but if I'm like doing this for hours, my like back and neck start to hurt, especially because airplane seats suck. So, it's like I have to do this to like keep a neutral posture, but then my like arms start shaking. Yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This, maybe this is, this is too, like, back to the future part too, but it would be neat if I could just have the Switch on me, and I know what, like, I don't know, I don't think Switch supports Bluetooth, does it? I think it does. Yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, uh, what I would like is like Bluetooth glasses. So with audio and video, so I just put on my Switch glasses and like my Switch is in my backpack and I can just have a controller like playing shit on an airplane. Uh, that way I don't have to like crane my head down or anything. Interesting.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, any, any parting wishes for a PS5 or Switch 2? PS5 glasses.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know, there was that tease, uh, Death Comes, or whatever it was, for uh, From Soft?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, there was just a slogan on it. Shadow's Die Twice. Shadow's Die Twice. Never click the first one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It looks like a torture device. It's like a bone supporting some kind of...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like a very taut, blood-soaked rope. Ugh. But wait, so it's wrapped around that, but then it's like tied up here?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But uh, what I would like is, PS5, I want to hit a button and have VaatiVidya or whatever, like pop up and just sort of quietly and supportively...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Microsoft trying to open it up because they also kind of own PC.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, let's uh, let's round it out. The, uh, usual, sista, er, show ending. Gotta, gotta net hard here. Alright. Alright. Not too shabby. Yeah, well he came and went. That was one of the, uh, oh I can't spoil that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That was one of the, uh, one of the classics, and the Philopatron is soon entering the Hall of Fame, which doesn't exist, despite the implorations of the audience, but I am listening, maybe we'll retire this one too. Big Knee Lover had a pretty amazing run too.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, so it's in the annals of Dude Soup. So this is the Flopitron, it is a, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's a stack of old computer hardware that has been repurposed and programmed to play songs, and the covers are pretty goddamn impressive.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know man, it's impressive. I- If you've ever heard a dot matrix printer, it does- I mean it's grating and horrible, but it is slightly musical, so I get that. But yea, for all the clicking and the percussion and stuff, that's totally crazy. Man. And it's got like harmonies, it's all these-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Jesus Christ, alright. Damn. So that's, that's nothing pretty hard, but this one's pretty good too. So this is a Steam Workshop page. This is the Krista Wang player model. Uh, an NPC.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Let me read the description here. The question isn't why, but it's why not? Anyways, here's Crystal Wang, a girl that I met in science class back in 2012.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I wanted to get her attention back in 2012, but I was the shy kid in the corner at the time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I thought that maybe making something like this would get her to like me since I can't talk to her. However, during that time, I lacked the skill and knowledge to make this. I literally fucked up my school grades in the next two and a half years of high school just to learn how to make this. After years of enduring pain, suffering, and the consequences of not properly graduating, and the absence of this girl, I finally made it. And it's already too late for me to get her.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, I've removed the Instagram page since everyone wanted it to be gone. Seriously, this is just as cringy as those love songs in my view. I don't get why it's creepy. Sadly, I don't know what he's referring to.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Requirements? Nothing, hopefully. Uh, hopefully there won't be any bugs unless you have an assload of addons and it won't load up. Can't do anything to fix that, really.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So there she is, uh, the apple of this gentleman's eye.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. She can do anything. She can do everything.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] She does. She's beautiful and perfect. Wow. And this dude spent three years making her, instead of going to school. Three years. He's a pretty good character model.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This comment's pretty great. If you're ever feeling suicidal, just remember you aren't the guy who spent two years of his life creating a model for a 14 year old game of some girl you went to date in high school. That's a warning for everybody else.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, the comments are not, not comment. The comments are not kind. No. Of this poor man and his lonely quest. Oh, that's uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So anyway. What? I wanna see what her Instagram is. That's for Garrysmod, yea. Uh, I'm guessing he made a song for her?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But then again, this is well after apparently she's graduated high school and moved on with her life. And I guess he flunked.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It sounds like your parents didn't treat you very well, but this girl and her boyfriend didn't really do anything.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It may not be fantastic people, but they haven't actually done anything seriously wrong to you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I have, I have detailed notes chronicling all of the, all of the hard nuts.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, well, hey, thanks everybody for joining us today. Uh, both to my guests, uh, Jacob, Lana, Omar, thank you. And to all of you, viewers and listeners, appreciate it. Hopefully, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hopefully this discussion has stimulated you, entertained you, made you think about sweet PlayStation glasses that are sure, surely around the horizon. Uh, releasing 2018. You can take that to the bank. We'll see you at E3. Uh, they're redoing Google Glass.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Speaking of, post show coming up right next if you're watching live or if you have a first subscription that's available on the Wrist Chief website. Uh, just one quick reminder again, Thursday 26th, April 26th, we're doing our live show. Teaching the Tiberius Method to the unwashed masses, the sexless.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The uh, the fat, the ugly, the poor, come to us and we'll fix all your life problems in two hours provided you buy a ticket. Parking not validated.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, that's again to get tickets, that's bitly slash fhlive2, bit.ly slash fhlive2. And we'll see you next week. Thanks again for joining us. And if you're watching live again, post show coming right up, so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When am I supposed to do it? Wednesday? I'm gonna be gone. Thursday? Friday? I'm gonna be gone. Monday? Monday? Friday, I'll probably have to work through lunch to get Google Trends ready. The weekend before?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's uh, yeah. I actually really like that place. They're really good. I haven't been to the bar party yet. Maybe I should. The bar's cool. You'd like it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I tried to find the original file and couldn't do it. There we go. I was lost of time, like the fire of alexandria or whatever. Freaking supercoz. I left that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We- we liked soup for a long time and people yelled at us, but now a famous person has eaten soup, so now-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] See, I know, but no one else does, which makes it a good reference to make. That's what good references are. Today's podcast is brought to you by two sponsors, Dollar Shave Club and Hims.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] For just five dollars with free shipping, you can get the six blade, that's right, six blades executive razor plus trial sizes of shave butter, body cleanser and one wipe Charlie's at dollarshaveclub.com slash dude and you can get a trial month of hymns for just five dollars while supplies last at fourhymns.com slash dude.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hear more from them later. But first, it's time for me to lecture everyone about why they shouldn't enjoy things.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's a lesson that I learned in motorcycle school, which I went to this weekend.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes, yes he is. Bruce, would you believe that I have three more classes already queued up? For what? Paid for and queued up. For what? One is a Porsche, like, uh, sport driving school.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, uh, number three, uh, knife skills. Not like throwing, but cutting. Oh, that's a good one, that's a good one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, that was the, uh, that was the company launch.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm gonna, I'm gonna guess, probably out of all of us, genuinely has the most battle rail experience. Eh, maybe Bruce. But anyway, Adam, probably.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, and then I guess Bruce, the man with the factually certifiably the most experience, Bruce Fortnight Green.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, uh, gentlemen, we were privy to a happening this last week. Uh, an incident that will go down in the record books until the next one makes everyone forget this one. Uhm, wait, too early for me to adopt that tone. Uh, so...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, Drake and Ninja played Fortnite together and smashed the Twitch world viewership record. For those who don't know, what's a Drake and a Ninja? Well, yeah, uh, let me even roll it back further than that. What's, what's Fortnite? What's Fortnite? That's a good question. Yeah, I had that question too. Alright, well.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, Fortnite, uh, was kind of a, it started off as a weird free to play game. Tried to mix Minecraft and like, horde mode. So you would, you would farm up resources, use them to build a fort, and then defend yourself against waves of zombies. It's okay. It was an early access fight.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So the game spent a long time in that weird incubation, cause that mode was like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was weird. On paper, it made a lot of sense. Let's combine all the elements from very popular games.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But in practice it was just kinda odd, like why would you spend all your resources to build this giant fort if at the end of the level it all goes away? Why would you, like you, you had to manufacture bullets and do it on your own because your inventory was separate from everyone else's, so it had these like elements of long term hoarding plus short term spending of those resources, it was a weird mix.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Now then, uh, flash forward to PUBG tearing up the video game charts. Fortnite cranks out Battle Royale, which is...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Basically PUBG and Fortnite. A lot of the mechanics are very similar except that Fortnite has building.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So you can, and the map is much smaller, there's some more differences with movement and things like that. But I would say the core and most visible difference is you can erect walls and ramps and stairs on the fly, provided you have the resources to do it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Which leads to these crazy fights where people are just building walls and trying to cage each other in and making these mazes and directing players down paths of travel so they can jump on them and ambush them. To see it happen live is amazing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Now then, Ninja is a Twitch streamer. Uh, very, very good, very skilled at Battle Royale. Has been, uh, has been climbing the old Twitch charts. Is, I think at the moment, the number one streamer on Twitch. Uhm. I think you're right. Yeah. Even over Dr. Disrespect. Mhm. Who was, who was kind of the last meteoric star of the Battle Royale scene. Uh, so Ninja's very good. Uh, very entertaining to watch. Uh, he,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Organically started playing with Drake, who after some like tech support from...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] From Epic, uh, they got in games together. Drake tweeted it out, and then suddenly you have your, uh, your Morpheus' fight in Nioh moment, where it's, it's a mix of two cool dudes, and the internet all, like, slammed in there to watch them go, watch them play together. They played pretty well together, actually. They won a few duos.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, but the viewership, let's see here, stream pushed back, or pushed past 600,000 concurrent viewers hitting 635 at one point. The previous record was, DrDisrespects, at 388,000 which was set.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So uhm, so it was, it was cool man. Uh, it was organic, which I think is like a big thing and that's a really, that's a really like businessy term to say. It just happened because people were doing what they do. Uhm, that's, that's the magic word that advertisers love and the ones that we are often called to replicate.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, what? Make it organic is a paradox in itself. This ad read for like, investment services? You want that to be organic?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, uh, so what happened after was, to me, a little odd. Uhm, and, you know, I kinda asked people about it on social media, I feel like I came to a good understanding of it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But there was this weird, to me, this weird sense of euphoria, this we did it sensibility. It was to some people a cultural equivalent of like gaming landing on Mars or something.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, I was confused, but I think people eventually explained it to me. I solicited some feedback on Twitter.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, but, for the sake of argument, I'm going to roll that back and say, fuck it. No one should have been excited about this. And to, in fact, to be excited about it, I think exposes some weirder parts of gamer culture that probably deserve consideration.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, but yeaah, once, once Drake tweeted it out, it was kinda off to the races. Uh, yeaah, I, I looked for, uhm...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because I'm old, I looked at a few blogging accounts of it. I got in on it too once people were circulating it on Twitter, so I'm not sure exactly how it kicked up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But, uh, Nick Chester, who works at Epic, awesome dude by the way, tweeted out, uh, around 9.30 that Drake and Ninja were playing together. Uhm, and I think that was kind of the first call out on social media.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, so uh, oh yeaah, here's time to hit the button. We got a hot topic on our hands.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's right. Woah! Look at that! Ooh, hot! I'm burning! There's fire everywhere! That'll getcha! That'll getcha! You gotta watch out for it. So yea, for the sake of this argument, and this argument alone, because I don't want anyone sending me death threats, I will adopt the mentality of someone who is being an asshole, I know. Uncharacteristic.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, and to help you guys break me down a peg, I'm gonna call in our good buddy Ricky. That shouldn't be on the screen. Why do we need Ricky for this? Uh, cause he was, he was getting at me on Twitter a little bit too, and I was like, you know what? I like Ricky a lot, I'm just kidding. Take your shots here.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Everyone saw my discord friends. I don't know how to make that not show up. Ah, there's a streamer mode.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No. Okay. Hey man, where's streamer mode and discord? What? Oh god, you're so quiet. Where's streamer mode and discord?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hey, there he is. Hey. Hi. Hey, buddy. Hello. Sorry man, I'm trying to find stream remote in Discord. This is like that stream where- Oh, it's right there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He had to teach Drake how to use, there it is. Hey, thank you. Hey Ricky, everything tech support there, dad. Still there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Ain't that the way? Alright, uhm, let me actually make sure that your levels are okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There wasn't a whole lot of time. There was a whole situation with a barber. You understand how it is.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Bit the tiger. Really? Alright, fuck it. Just bring him over. Who cares? People get to see mine. I can see you! I know! The issue was, uh, the issue was, uh, I had a friends list situation that I didn't want getting shared.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That barber really threw a wrench in my gears. Alright, so, uh, Ricky is the, uh, co-host of ETC, an awesome show where they poke fun at the internet in general, mostly entertainment, technology, uh, they take down Florida a lot, or at least they used to. That's a soft target.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, you're from Florida, so it's allowed. That's where Ricky's from, yeah. It's fine, yeah. Alright, uh, so, uh, Ricky was a voice of reason, while I was like an old man, uh, yelling at clouds.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We're not sure. So here's the hot take. You guys can pass it around.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think this, this euphoria that followed in the wake of Ninja and Drake playing together is the result of this odd like marginalization, persecution complex that gamers have had for decades.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That makes no sense, because gaming has always been a very dominant form of entertainment.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, yeah. So I theorize, uhm, I theorize that this is evidence of that, like, persecution culture seeping in, where people are like, oh finally, now I won't get shoved into a locker every day. Even though...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's not really that much of a stigma around gaming anymore. It's kinda coming back. Thanks to certain things going on, but... So I don't know, you guys tell me, why, why am I an asshole for thinking that the celebration of this event is unjustified? Hit it, Ricky!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, so, you, just to paraphrase, you say that it's the context of what's been going on in gaming culture lately that led to something that is, it is constructive and friendly, uh, an event that is widely viewed, uh, and like getting Ninja on, on, uh, what was it?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And also, I agree, did an amazing interview, had some great advice. Uh, so you say that that is a positive reinforcement of video game culture, whereas there has been a lot of negative reinforcement lately?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I'm gonna say that we don't care, you know? Why do we need? Why do we need positive images breaking through to mainstream? Video games have broken mainstream already and have done it for decades. Why is there still the need to, to give a shit about how it's represented in media?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm usually the negative one, Lawrence. Oh, sorry. Sorry, man. Uh, king of negativity though, you can't challenge this. Except you just did.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I, uh, I thought you had a particularly good point in saying that like the-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do get that vibe about people who stream and people who watch streams. So, uh, I think that you can also read that in reverse from the headline writing. There's a bit of, uh, incredulous nature to this man makes a half million dollars streaming games. It's got that can you believe it angle to it. Which catches your attention.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I just moved and the first thing I did was unpack my Statham photo and put it on my toilet. Like usual.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Love you buddy. That may be, uh, may be a little loosey-goosey soon, but yeah, thanks for, thanks for joining us, man.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay. Hey, it was us. That's us. Get out of here. And there he is. There he is still, still full heightened.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, in his interview, he talked about how, you know, meager beginnings, had a shit job, uh, did this stuff part time, stayed in school, you know, real Mr. T, that ninja. Uhm, but no, he basically would talk about how it's like, this stuff doesn't happen overnight, doesn't happen for everyone, uh, you shouldn't in a fortnight.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, no, did you somebody else? I think. Maybe. Where's Drake? I don't remember what Drake's player name was. I don't know what Savon did. But uh, oh yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, this is, this is the one. So this, uh, somebody in, somebody in, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Somebody in chat mentioned, yea, there were two others, the rapper Travis Scott and NFL player Juju Smith-Schuster also joined in the stream. Gotcha. So I think they were doing quads, and I guess that's everybody. Maybe he's either the boy Duttus or Cactus Jack. Uhm, somebody'll...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Somebody will, uh, somebody will correct me on that, I'm sure. And really enjoy doing it. Oh, should we get a sponsor read? Yeah, we do!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes, it's time for us to earn our Twitch money. Uh, so this podcast is sponsored by Dollar Shave Club. If you want to look as smooth and beautiful as Ninja, you gotta shave that face. And you can do so on the cheap. You think you get $500,000 a month spending all his money on razors? No sir. Uh, I guess the two aren't really actually all that connected, but...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] For the sake of the salary, they are. Uh, Dollar Shave Club would like you to know they do a lot more than just razors. Now they're, they're getting into the whole hygiene game. So you got your, uh, you got your butt wipes, got your razors, got your creams, your body washes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, they, uh, they offer a shaved butter, which if you're using like shaving foam or shaving cream, there's an interesting difference with the shaved butter, cause it's kind of like a...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'll call it a C-mini texture, but it is clear. No you don't.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, it's clear. So that, that actually means if, if like if you do edging or you try to hit your, hit your sideburns in a particular way, you can actually see through it and shave precisely, which is something I didn't really think about. If you're using, um, like foamy shave cream, uh, sometimes it can be hard to tell if you've missed a spot or something like that, but this makes it really easy to see.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And for just five dollars, with free shipping, you can get the, uh, starter kit, which includes a six blade executive razor, trial sizes of shave butter, body cleanser, and one wipe Charlie's. Those are, uh, mint infused ass wipes. So if you've ever felt like your butt is just a little too balmy,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Send it, send it, uh, send it on a cool, like alpine mountain.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's a brisk breeze flowing right through. It's like a vacation for your butt. Thank you Adam, it is. Yes, send your anus on vacation, it's worked overtime.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, you can get your starter kit at dollarshaveclub.com slash dude. Against the, that's five dollars for the razor. Try the sizes of, uh, shave butter, body cleanser, one-wipe charlies for five dollars. Free shipping at dollarshaveclub.com slash dude. Thank you dollarshaveclub. And thank all of you for, uh, for enduring ad placements.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, uh, what do we got next? Oh! Cyberwatch! The- boy, we are exploding with cy- Oh my god. Yeah. It's got so many different graphical areas. I know, I've been building them up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's alright. I give them, I give the things to them every week. The timecodes I could probably do better at recording. I don't do that at all. Uh, yeah, hot, hot headlines out of Cyberpunk 2077. Oh! The news train just doesn't slow down, ladies and gentlemen. Uh, this is from that, uh- Start? Again, that-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And boy is it still coming. So there was that Pareto Securities gaming seminar that happened about a month ago. Oh, those headlines just don't stop hitting from that like weird 30 minute talk. Turns out, Cyberpunk 2077.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] CONFIRMED! COMING TO STEAM! This story is from February 26th.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's new, it's... No, it's not. It's the Cyberwatch segment first, we gotta...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I mean with the avalanche of news every week, we have a whole segment for it Adam. It could be any time with all the activity. I don't exactly know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So yeah, another, another breakthrough week for Cyberpunk news. Uh, game's coming great! Gonna be playing it soon. Don't know what it looks like. Two month old story. Should probably call my wife. Let her know. She's getting anxious. Yeah, get off the highways, honey. Uh, the Cyberpunk's coming to Steam. People are gonna be going crazy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is like- Is there another story that you have that we can talk about? Yes, I just wanted that one to last longer, because it's important news! Okay. Alright, uh, let's- I don't have a bumper for this one, so it barely is worth talking about. But, uh, poor bones.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's this lady who, uh, thought her boyfriend was cheating on her, so she bought a samurai sword at the mall. I'm gonna read that one. That sounds awesome. Yeah, it's actually cool. This is a pretty great story. Uh, so this is from the Washington Post, bastion of journalism.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, yeah. Well, there's a reason. Headline is, she found a dating app on her boyfriend's phone.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Pretend I said that right. Then she bought a samurai sword. Uh, here, here are some highlights from this story. Forgive me, master. I must use all my power. Is she just like a Mortal Kombat character? Yes. Certainly looks like it. Jade. This, this is all the best. Oh, that was supposed to be the segment of this. This, this is one of Lawrence's people.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, that's, that's just unprofessional. Just leave. So yeah, just pretend that that's, that's one of, I tried to think of while I was biking to and from the barbershop. Yeah, it's a wonder I was late to anything. I was trying to think of a, like a, an alliteration.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, so this is, this is a conflict between Emily, Emily, Javier, Javier, Javier, Javier, Javier, Javier, and Alex Lovell, uhm, the,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A loving couple. She, she discovered telltale signs he was cheating. Uh, discolor, er, differently colored hair in the shower stall. Scratches on his back, Tinder profile on the phone. Wow, yea, he, she, he absolutely was cheating. Fucking sloppy. And, he was, he was sliding her in another way. By playing PUBG for like 10 hours a day.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So uh, the story goes, with her boyfriend finally asleep, Emily reached for the samurai sword she had secretly taped earlier to the side of the bed.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Later explained to the police, and now he was cheating on her, she claimed. She knew the signs. Tinder on his phone. Scratches on his back. A girl's hair in the shower drain.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In the weak phone glow, Javier allegedly started hacking.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, as he told the Oregonian, Lovell has been recently logging 12 to 13 hours a day playing the game. The regiment also acquired, quote, exercises for his hands, wrists, and shoulders, and also practicing mouse moves and techniques to maximize performance. Was he cheating or not? Uh, well, you know, who knows? The story never got to the bottom of that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So that's the thing, he's about to get to that point himself. Quote, I wasn't a sweaty nerd, more of an E-thlete, end quote, level told to Oregonian. That's athlete with an E on the front.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So congratulations. Any kind of, any kind of bird, really. Alex Lovell. Fight! Get my dick wet.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alex Level, you may have been cheating on your girlfriend, and you spent entirely too much time playing PUBG.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Fuck. Really? Yeah, they said it was like it was chopped down to the tendon and they had to sew them back together.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Goddammit, kim.com got in there? Really? Yeah. Kim.com was in there too. Man. Of course he was. Uh, Adam, I think it's maybe time for embarrassing things we bought off eBay. Cause I bought the glasses from Trigun off eBay. Man. And I tried to wear them outside.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I got a question for you guys. Yeah. And it is topical, so I'm sorry. But have you ever, have you ever experimented with the angle of your dick while masturbating?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, yeah, you're just kinda tenderly yanking it towards the ground. So, it's got more profile. Pumping up a bike tire profile.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's like- I get that. Yeah, that's like a ghost. So you have a contrarian penis. You try to cage it and it wants free. I get- once I free it though, then it's like- it's like- it's like-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Quick shout out to chat, KingQwerty says, uh, I had a wallet chain and a beard comb knife at one point.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I was thinking, like, a segment on, uh, maybe something that doesn't exist yet, where, uh, I send somebody with 20 bucks to a pawn shop, and they buy something, and then they have to use it and review it for me. And it can be like, it can be like a, like a how to play Yu-Gi-Oh DVD, and I say that specifically because I bought a how to play Yu-Gi-Oh DVD at a pawn shop. Or a gun. Or a gun!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Or just a gun, or like an old blender, or they have, there are shitloads of like radios from the 80s and maybe see if you can pick up anything on that thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Spending too much time. Uh, not, not introducing people properly. Two all shook up. We gotta do an ad read, dog. Yes, we do. We need to make money to pay for this, uh, dream of yours.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Speaking of dreams, if you want to be the owner of a switchcomb, first of all you need hair.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And if you want hair, you gotta use hims, who is sponsoring this podcast.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So Hims is a hair retention service. They say that the best way to prevent hair loss is to stop it before it starts.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, they being hims in this point. But this is, this is something interesting and it's something that I didn't, hadn't considered and I actually signed up for it. I haven't started my regimen yet, but.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's a, it's real medicine, like it's a prescription. So when, uh, when you sign up for the service, you have to take a lot of photos of your hairline and like the back of your hair and things like that. An actual doctor will review your, your photos, review your, like, you fill out a little questionnaire about your hair loss, how you feel about it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then they will prescribe you an actual prescription. It comes in the mail. So you're using real medicine. This isn't, this isn't like, uh,