[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Really sad part where one of the characters threatens to commit suicide, but then the writer said, it didn't look like a real suicide, so I got mad.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because it was just like soft cuts, they weren't deep cuts. Uh oh. They said it was just a cry for help. You're just doing it for attention. Yeah. What an asshole. I don't know. I don't know who to root for in this story anymore. So Pokemon Trainer wins. Wow, okay, yeah. Pokemon Trainer wins.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's a game. Question mark, dot, dot, dot. Don't tell me I'd have fun. To be continued. I'll keep playing it. Between Overwatch matches. Always a plan. Still in Overwatch. Still so good at it too. That's frustrating. You're good at it. Almost diamond. Almost diamond. Almost. A little rusty.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, that's true. That doesn't buy Icidip? No. No.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] She just gets two big meaty fistfuls of that thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, I wash my jeans after like three uses. That's disgusting.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No there's not, because I told you, I, I, I have wipes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] TP. Got it. Clean as a whistle. You can eat off of it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You gotta give me some of that free underwear you guys all wear. They're great.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Are there other franchises that are actively creating these now?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They didn't have these in the stored RTX, I don't know why. No branded Bones headbands.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, I pass, I'm sorry. I'm ashamed, but I don't, I don't.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He totally is the guy from Heroes, man. Which guy from Heroes? The brother who could fly? He was the brother of the brother who could fly. Gotcha. I don't know, god damn it. Starts with a P. Nathan Petrelli. That's right. I'm, I'm embarrassed, guys. Prophet.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, I've never even heard of that one. Man, you did grow obscure.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, Action's actually a pretty good show. It was okay. It was only on for one season. It's got Buddy Hackett in it and...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Fuck it, I'll just keep going. I could do this for days, but yeaah. I know we have a whole podcast here.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is that Margaret Cho sitcom? It is. Really? Yeah, what's the name of this? Oh! What's the name of this, Bones? Bones, come on, I watched this show.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, it might, but that's whatever. People willing to buy it. It's capitalism, right? They're just trying to make money. You're into the free market?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What are you doing? I'm doing it over here. You know, Omar's been having to blur out a lot of accidental stuff on the podcast.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So how many times have you played this weird game with the ladies in it? The lingerie game? Oh, uh, negligee? Yeah, negligee.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In your religious upbringing, did you ever have a pastor or parent or anybody literally tell you that if you masturbated you were going to hell? Was that like part of the teaching?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, alright. Oh, there's dildos and sex toys on that. Amen.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Until I was about 10. Oh. What? Yeaah, cause we lived in the trailer. And there was only so much water in that tank.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, we talked about this last night. Hobgoblin was like, I don't remember the character's name, but he was another guy that just like stole the technology and made a new suit. But then he was like possessed by an actual demon. And so he turned into like this gnarly like, like religious fanatic.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This will sell comics. He throws balls and flies around. They all do.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He backhands the shit out of Mary Jane. He plays a lot of sweet jazz piano. He goes up to the lady and says, find us some shade. And he like slips her some money to get a table. I've seen that movie a lot.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've been in the casino, not the bathrooms in the hotel. Sorry.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But it's insane. I, I don't want to support it. I, I gotta go with the frog. It's just, it's just too, it's too much fun. Alright? A little froggy. I fell in love with them last week.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh wait, this... Oh, he's free basing it? Or are you shooting it up? Oh no. No, it's... He's mainlining that way today.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Can you get fired for tweeting about Ligma? Boy, we got lots of internet bullshit to discuss today, so if you have no fucking clue what's going on in this world, welcome to the club on this confusing ass bowl of dudesuit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's real cool too. I did that thing where you scroll down through the blending styles and you're like, that looks kinda cool.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, welcome to the podcast. My name is Lawrence. We got some, we got some hot top- nope, don't hit the button yet Omar. We got some hot topics to discuss soon. Those are hot topic button? There's a million of them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You can get anyone fired on the Twitter feed now. Uh, I'm Lawrence, I'm your host. I'm here to read ads. And I'm joined by, uh, three people who are going to weigh in on the hot topics of- don't hit-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hot topics of today. To my left, Bruce. Hello. And then to my right, Adam and James. Hello. I refuse to say anything.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This podcast is brought to you by three sponsors, Beachbody Hymns and ShipStation. Speaking of, I got something to stir the pot on Hymns later too, so stay tuned for that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] People on Reddit will love it. Uhm, get a free special trial to Beachbody On Demand when you text DUDE to 30 30 30. Uh, you can get a trial month of hems for just $5 at 4hims.com slash soup.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And you can get an additional month free of ShipStation when you go to ShipStation.com and click the little microphone and use our promo code DUDE. Uhm, before we get into anything,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's a first. Yeaah. Okay. So I don't know if we can do some quick clap test, just something real fast. Get it all lined up for people.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Ah, yes. This is why we need more than one person to produce this show. Where's Gavin? Yeah. Gavin could help. Or an intern. If it's gonna take more than five minutes, we should just go.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I guess I'll just roll right into it. So this happened a couple of days ago, but there's been some fallout. There's been some more discussion. This is the, this is the hot topic of the day. Kablam.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I just saw the clap. I also think that like the end, the end player can also become desync. So hey, if it doesn't sync for you, maybe try refreshing. And if that's the problem, or if that doesn't fix it, then I guess you gotta get more RAM. That's just it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, James Gunn, the director of Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 1 and Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 and a whole bunch of less than savory movies as it goes back, Slither, Tromeo and Juliet, trauma stuff basically, has been fired as the director of Guardians of the Galaxy 3.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, and the narrative behind this whole story is kind of interesting. So I tried my best to go back and follow tweet for tweet what happened and in what order.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And that became actually impossible after a while because of the tactics used here. So Mike Cernovich is a guy who is sort of intrinsically planted in this whole thing and he is


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He is just a gigantic piece of shit, uh, and also, like, what, reading through his Twitter feed was actually really hard to do, and Twitter, he tweets so much that I couldn't even go back far enough to see where this started. Uhm, yeaah, Twitter just stopped loading after a while. So...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He, there is a method that is very strong, where he constructs a narrative around whatever viewpoint he wants to share, and then he pushes it really hard, uh, frames himself as the victim in all things. Uh, so, for this, uhm, he, he saw this happening, kinda like you said James, come after one of ours, we'll come after one of yours, dig back through James Gunn's Twitter feed, found a bunch of, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Honestly, like, pretty bad jokes from 2010-2011 era. Uh, basically joking about pedophilia and rape and stuff like this. Use this to say, he is a pedophile. It is our, like, moral duty to take this man down and destroy his life.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, so he farms that out to his little conservative army. They all send that information to Disney, who then removes him from volume three.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because honestly what he said was pretty shitty, but that was also from another phase in his life that he has apologized for profusely even before all this stuff broke out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So yeaah, uh, you know, James you kinda hit on it. There is a lot of rhetoric of people, honestly people, if, I hate to describe it in sides because I don't like framing the world or even issues like this that way, but they self put themselves into sides so it's kinda hard when they're using verbiage of like we versus them. So for the people that do that, there are people that say,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, this is kinda sketchy, and clearly he apologized for it. This is a step too far. We're taking things out of contact and weaponizing them. There's a lot of, the left does that, we shouldn't, or we're sinking to their level kind of thing. Referring to Roseanne, or other issues where...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Liberal leaning people have tried to attack conservative leaning people by trying to dredge up statements or pull them out of context and weaponize those statements.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There is a bit of internal discussion on that side, and again, I hate referring it to that way, but they kind of...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Batista said, I will have more to say, but for right now all I can say is this, James Gunn is one of the people, uh, one of the most loving, caring, good-natured people I have ever met. He's gentle and kind and cares deeply for people and animals. He's made mistakes. We all have. I'm not okay with what's happening to him.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, he'd already apologized. Well, multiple times. So this, this is from 2012. Oh. Uh, Guardians of the Galaxy director James Gunn apologizes for controversial jokes, quote, I'm sorry and regret making them at all. 2012, Hollywood Reporter. Oh. So this already came out. That was two years before Guardians of the Galaxy. And was dealt with. Yea, when he was put on Guardians of the Galaxy, some of this stuff came out. Already.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, oh, this was in regards to the gay and lesbian alliance against defamation.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, so yeaah, blog post he'd written in 2011, made again some unsavory jokes against homosexuals, uh, and owned up to it, said it was immature, said he was sorry, apologized for any hurt that it caused, and somehow we were all able to move on from there. I just find it fascinating what changed from this to now, uh, that- Yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If, if you want to buy into the organization of it, they're going after anyone that frames the world in politics for the American population.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And yeaah, media creators, James Gunn, and comedians are, play a very powerful role in that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've heard some interesting explorations of that. This is a bit of a side note. And apologies, because I'm going to speak in very broad stereotypes here that may or may not apply to you or your political beliefs or whatever. This is just thought fodder.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] One of the interesting things I thought is that, uh, or what they expressed is that a liberal mindset is kind of innately based around empathy and inclusion of wanting to understand other lives and admitting fault and growing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Or that could also be interpreted as just personal weakness, but conservative mindsets tend to celebrate self and the power of self, so conservative


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] conservative viewpoints and conservative stories tend to follow around main characters that are perfect and have nothing to learn or they endure hardships but they never admit fault or weakness or frailty.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] From those different kinds of world views or those different kinds of storytelling arcs, a- something that comes from something that is brittle and human and fragile and involves growth and learning and acceptance is usually more interesting to the human than the story of a perfect person who undergoes a slight trial but then still comes out ahead in the end due to their own, uh, positive virtues.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I thought it was interesting, a thought fodder, but nothing that I would say is conclusive about how philosophy can influence creativity.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, that's the sponsor of this podcast, uh, Beachbody On Demand is a digital service that lets you access a library of Beachbody workouts from your phone or your computer, pretty much anything that has the internet. Uh, this is the company behind P90X, Insanity, 21 Day Fix, T25, Brazil Buttlift, Paio, Hip Hop Abs,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Three week yoga retreat and more, uh, they have individual workouts, they also have whole programs, so if you want to do like a month long, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've been doing, uh, yoga for weekend warriors with my main man Ted. Uh, so yeah, every time, I've been doing that like once or twice a week just to get myself all limbered up. I can feel the, I can feel the, the age tightness start to seep in, get a little stiff in the morning. So gotta be doing those downward dogs and


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sun Salutations. That's a reporter for, uh, PBS News Hour. Uh, but yes, also that, what's the, yeah, what's the Sun Salutations called? Warrior, what's the one? Yeah, Warrior is the 1-2-3 crescent pose.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, still can't squat on my legs. I wanna do that. I wanna do the Asian squat. Can't quite get there. Heels always come off the ground just a little bit. But if I keep doing it, I'll get there eventually.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, they have workouts as short as 10 minutes that don't require any extra equipment or long ones that you can run the whole insanity game, but if you feel like it, uh, I keep, I keep thinking maybe it's time and then I just don't do it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But you guys can get a special free trial membership to the entire program when you text Dude to 30 30 30, which is D-U-D-E, text that to 30 30 30. You get access to the entire platform, that's workouts, nutritional information, support, all for free for the trial membership.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We're at least keeping our bodies looking right, even if our heads are cluttered.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Clutter with stuff. Yea, but a bunch of dumb tweets to make. Go get fired. Yea. Bruce, what you said I thought was pretty interesting about...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] America elected a reality star as president and immediately did not respect any rule of decorum about being a president, about how to talk.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was just going to run down a list of possible events because kind of like the Jessica Price situation,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This seemed really abrupt for something that apparently was already known and dealt with.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So for me, I find it interesting to try and hypothesize about various configurations of events that might make James Gunn just getting outright trashed make sense.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, and I've got a couple of, a couple of events here in, and I can order them in likelihood. To me the least likely...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When James Gunn was brought in, they were like, who's that? And they're like, he's got a history, but don't worry about it, we had to talk about it, it's fine. And then they're like, well, we'll see. And then the second that there's an issue, they're like, mm, I knew this would be a problem, fire him. If, if like, if there was somebody convinced that it would be a problem, and the second it was, they're like, I was right!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, and it gives people the power to shape context. So you can lift one statement out of the era of the man. You can lift it away from his apologies, his explanations, or his growth as a person, or what he's doing right now. Lift it out, rewrite the context to say this man is an active pedophile, who else would say something like this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Send that to all the people who are willing to believe you are already bought into your framing of world events, and then it's just off to the races. I think in addition to people ignoring context, it's also people weaponizing the crafting of context and crafting narrative. And then also a lot of people's willingness to just buy into that and eat it up, because it agrees with your worldview or your...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Whatever mission you happen to be on in terms of waging internet culture wars. We are a people who are, we're interested in that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think, I think those two things in Microcosm show...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's less about the truth of anything now, or the actual merit of somebody's person, but more about the PR of how it's framed and presented. So yea, James Gunn theoretically did everything right. Admitted to it wholesale, humble apology, complete transparency, by all rights, did everything right.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then got fired, because whatever ammunition that was used against him came at the right time or in the right context for him to get wiped off the project.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Meanwhile, Joss Whedon did everything wrong. Lied about it multiple times. Never really apologized. Seemed kind of proud of it in his admission.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If he did it, then he did everything. Well, he said he did, didn't he?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That was the last I saw. I mean it's the Trump defense though, if you just stick to your guns hard enough, people will be willing to swipe, like sweep it away. They'll be willing to file it back in their brain and be like, well maybe, and then you don't.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you're going to fire someone for something, you can fire them for scoff. Speaking of gasoline and matches, James, we got our own little fire for me to douse up a little bit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, uh, we commonly peddle boner pills on this show, as you're aware. Uhm, a lot of, I don't know, just put his head in there. That's what I commonly peddle, that's the wrong words to use. Hims is a sponsor of this program. There we go. And, uh, so a lot of people, uhm, who, in some of the heated discussions that I tried to have on Reddit, uhm, maybe aren't aware of, or


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, also a lot of people, I think when it comes to framing narrative, found a particular little bullet point in the World Health Organization's recommendations that advised against telemedicine. Some people found little phrases in the California Medical Code that implied that telemedicine was illegal in the state of California. Yes, people actually


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Got that deep into trying to justify the hatred of this sponsor. Anyway, uhm, when all this was going down, I wrote two hymns, uh, and tried to get in contact with the medical director there to pass along these questions.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's the medical director at HIMS though? Yes. So this, I got a response from the medical director for HIMS and the president of Bailey Health, Dr. Brendan Levy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, it arrived about a week ago. That's the speed of the real world. I know that everyone demanded answers right then, and I had to be like, chill out, we're looking into it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, but I think most people have either let their anger run its course or, uh, either cancel their first memberships out of...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Out of disgust or whatever. But anyway, here is the full response if you are, and I'll read this and then go into the ad read. So this isn't part of the ad read. This is just for the people on the subreddit or any of our viewers that were upset or frustrated or confused about hymns and how it works. Here you are.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is again from the medical director for HIMS and the president of Bailey Health, Dr. Brendan Levy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, so thank you for expressing support and interest. You asked how physicians like myself could legally prescribe medicine without a traditional physical exam in the state of California.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] To begin with, I am fully aware of the harms that may arise without an appropriate prior exam and I take every measure possible to ensure patient safety and that all patients are aware of the risks and benefits of our model and any treatments proposed. Our goal is to provide healthcare that is accessible, safe, and of the highest quality.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Telehealth article on mbc.ca.gov. I can leave that in the description. If you'd like to follow that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] One important one is that the conditions we treat carry significant social stigma, and we can often get more candid histories than patients feel comfortable providing in person.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] For example, where a patient might be unwilling to explain the facts and circumstances surrounding his difficulty in maintaining an erection during an in-person consult, our platform creates a virtual space where patients feel comfortable with themselves enough to describe their problem.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Guided by scientific studies similar to the attached article from the American Journal of Men's Health, our website was specifically designed to normalize and make patients feel less shy about their potential issues with erectile dysfunction, balding, etc. such that they might feel comfortable enough to talk openly and honestly about the manifestation of their symptoms.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We combine the information of a detailed history with other data to formulate a plan.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] For instance, if a patient is concerned with balding, we ask them to upload several high resolution photographs of their scalp from different angles to ensure we can make an appropriate diagnosis. Notably, we treat only a few conditions through the platform, and if there is any indication that the patient may be suffering from a more serious condition, or if he has a condition that would best be co-managed, for example, diabetes and erectile dysfunction, we refer them to a local physician.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We only provide care for conditions where after careful review of the medical literature, current practices and guidelines, and expert advice, we determine that we can offer these services in a way that meet or exceeds the standard of care.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We also provide the patient's opportunity to freely ask our medical team of primary care doctors, dermatologists, and urologists any questions they may have at any time, offering almost unprecedented access to excellent physicians. We also continue to expand our technology to better serve our patients. This last paragraph, almost there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] With respect to your question about the World Health Organization and others who caution against helmet medicine, I think that


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think that for some more risky conditions or those that would benefit from in-person care, that is absolutely correct and a precise reason why we offer narrowly scoped and low risk services through our platform.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Notably in the United Kingdom, Viagra is now available without a prescription. So even from a global perspective, our practice is often exceeding the sta- the uh, standard of care. Please let me know if you have any further questions.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, that was a lot of stuff, uh, it basically boils down to the services they provide, and these are points that I tried to make in certain discussions on the subreddit, to people who were very unwilling to hear it out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The services they provide and the medications they provide actually the


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Medical damage as a result of misuse or overuse of those is also pretty low.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And a lot of, like, it can get kind of cyclical with, well, people can lie, but yeaah, people can go into the opposite line.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, it's harder to lie in the office and then it just tumbles down and down. But anyway, I hope, I hope if hims as a sponsor, if that makes you uncomfortable, I hope that that response either addressed some of your concerns, uh, or provided information perhaps you didn't have.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Also, if you're concerned about the standard of, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, people were concerned about, uh, people just signing up for hems, uh, at a grip without really like going through the examination. I tried to sign up for the erectile dysfunction pills.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And there were these two big boxes, one requiring you to say that you have had an in-person examination in the past year, and another requiring you to say that you have very recent blood pressure readings.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, yes, you can lie about either of those things, but you can also go to a doctor and lie.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, and again, yeaah, maybe it's like, well, if it's all online, maybe it's easier to do.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, maybe. I just, it's hard for me to imagine the person that's going to go to all that trouble and manufacture all that fake, like, medical history to get erectile dysfunction pills when they don't even need them. Uhm, seems much more likely to me that somebody who is nervous or ashamed of erectile dysfunction


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, so the hems will connect you with real doctors to get medical grade solutions to treat erectile dysfunction


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, they offer some well-known, uh, generic equivalents to brand name prescriptions to help you treat ED. Uh, they say severe erectile dysfunction isn't just an issue for rich old guys in bathtubs. Which is, uh, imagery that is bizarrely common. I don't know why erectile dysfunction things always have two people in bathtubs holding hands, but whatever. It affects men in their 30s and 40s. Uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So they say that, uh, hymns is erectile without the dysfunction. Uh, you know, it's time we put some levity back in.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, the questionnaire they have is, while it's not exhaustive, it's a good place to start. I did it for my hairline, cause when I hit like 33, either it was paranoia or my hairline's actually getting thinner. I think it might be a little mix of both, but.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That by itself, and again, maybe if you haven't gone to an American doctor, that already is like, okay, you've already shown more attentiveness than a lot of the doctors I've been to. I remember


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This, this is a sidebar that isn't necessarily part of this read, but I'm pretty sure when I got my hernia like three years ago, I went to a doctor and they just like squeezed me a little bit and they're like, must be an ingestion and then sent me on my way with like an antacid and that was it. And no, I'm pretty sure I tore a hole in myself, but


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They didn't really look into it that much, so. Because I didn't have a primary care physician at the time, and no one was accepting new patients, so I went to this one doctor that was like across town, and they were slammed. There was like kids hanging from the ceiling in there, vomiting on everything. Bad scene.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah, hems is great. I've been getting finasteride for my hair and taking it regularly and I'm going to until I die because I want my skull to have just beautiful hair.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, and I'm gonna, I'm gonna protect that as much as I can. And while I do not currently suffer from erectile dysfunction, it is very nice to know that if I do in the future, uhm, there is a low overhead, uh, process that I can go through to be safely prescribed a medication provided that


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I feel secure in the process. And if you don't, that's fine. Uh, you can consult with your current doctor, and if that doctor prescribes you one of these drugs, you can then transfer your prescription over to HIMS and just get it fulfilled through the mail.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, but, like I said before, you can get a trial month of hems for just $5 at 4hems.com slash soup.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's F-O-R-H-I-M-S dot com slash sup. S-O-U-P. Thank you, Hems, for keeping us hard. Uh, because it's a hard world out there. Gotta meet hard on hard.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You can't show with a weak dick. People are gonna point at you and laugh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, well, we have another scourge on the internet and that is the dreaded, uh, the dreaded infection known as Ligma.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] From last week, July 16th, this is where it all started. An image of Harambe and Kimbo Slice and Tupac.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, ninja hater is an Instagram account said, spread this, let's make fake news, OC. So it's ninja standing at the bottom of a clouded staircase rising into the heavens with a butt. Who's that? It's Paul Walker. Oh my god.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] With the explicit thing of let's spread, let's make some fake news. And people did.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They ran with it, uh. What's the goal? Is it to apply that Ninja died? Basically, yeah. Of Ligma? Yes. So, I'm not sure exactly when Ligma got attached to it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So yeah, uh, people have been spamming it in Ninja's chat and stuff like that. And it's, it's, it's kinda sad because Ninja actually has done his best to keep his chat pretty clean because he knows kids have watched him and stuff like that. And Ligma is essentially, it's a dick joke.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Children! That shit is, what's weird to me is that is old. That's, that's like up dog stuff. That was, uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I just like it, yea, when somebody takes a canned, a canned jab like that and they drop it on you and then they think they burned you just cause their ability to like open up their mental briefcase and like give you a court summons.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's next level humor, you guys. That's what it's gonna be. We can't make actual jokes with structure anymore, it's just, it's just memes now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sometimes you gotta do that to chinchillas. Like a hair ring. Yeah, it like chokes down on the tip of their dicks, so you gotta pull their foreskin back.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's like Elon Musk over here. Yeah, they don't own us. Have you guys, have you guys imagined, okay, so I don't think I've ever, ever once had sex where I try to come as quickly as possible. Yeah. Because I'm a hero. I typically try to stifle everything mentally. There are a couple of times. I imagine like ants


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, in regards to cyberpunk news. So Omar, I'm gonna need you to hit that sweet, sweet button. Yes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The red tracker. What's that? Wooo! Uh, you click on it. Let me show ya.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It only shows you posts from CD Projekt RED developers. So now... This has nothing to do with Cyberpunk. There's a lot of Gwent in there, yeah, but there, look at that. That's from the trailer.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Normally I agree with you Lawrence, this one's made up. This is how much of a hero I am, Bruce.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, if you actually hit up my Twitter profile for, you know, endorsements, brand deals, whatever. But, uh, this, in this way, all of you can become nearly as informed as I am about cyberpunk, and let's be honest, that's a big deal.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, with the red tracker now- Oh! Look at this! You can even sub-click!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, unofficial FAQ. You made it up. That's something. Uh, developer answers your questions. Look at all this information we didn't have.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Everything does. Everything does. Anyway, there are multiple episodes of a frame-by-frame analysis of the trailer they put out. By a developer. Uh, they're, well, the developers aren't doing the analysis, but other people are. What? What's going on with the red tracker?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Anyway, they're up to episode 11. Cyberwatch made it up. Corporations. Cyberwatch. Sorry everyone.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're all demons. Aren't you the demon? You kill all the protectors of the land and then you fight smoke monster and then you turn into a baby. Wow. What? Well you are the smoke monster. Oh that's right.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's why you need ShipStation, baby. It's a tool set that basically allows you to organize your shipments if you're either selling a lot of stuff on eBay or running your own store, or even for us sometimes there's a lot of shipments and stuff that I'll send out to people. And I just, in the past if you used just like a text notepad, I wouldn't recommend it because it gets really hard to like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Remember which tracking numbers go with what, and what shipping where, and what you've already shipped, and what you need to ship, and what's been received. This gives you all the tools you need to do that. Whether using Shopify, Squarespace, Etsy, BigCommerce, WooCommerce, or 75 other popular shipping channels, or selling channels, ShipStation brings all your orders into one simple interface. So especially if you


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, you can also use it to create shipping labels for top carriers, including UPS, FedEx, USPS. You'll ship more and less time with the best rates available.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like I said before, I've got a pile of stuff I'm going to try to get rid of.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, so I'm gonna, I'm gonna host a fun little, fun little game on the internet where people get to win my junk. And then I'll, I'll mail it to them. For free? Yeaah, that's gonna get expensive. Phrasing. Well, I mean, you can expense it, cause you're doing it for work. I guess.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, I didn't think about that. Man, I can get rid of my stuff for free! Well, not all your stuff. Let's not go crazy. But some of it's big and heavy too.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, but luckily for you, Bruce, I'll get the best rates with ShipStation.com. Uh, so yeaah, but when you go to ShipStation.com, uh, you can get an additional month of their service for free in addition to the new sign-up bonus. If you go to ShipStation.com, click on the microphone at the top of the website and type in our code DUDE.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That will unlock a free month of the service for you. Just go to ShipStation.com, click on the microphone, type in Dude.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And try it out! So thank you so much, ShipStation, for the, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] For the sponsorship, they say ShipStation, make ship happen. Ha ha ha. Ah, punny. Ding ding ding.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How can European speedrunners be so attractive? Or have an attractive entourage? That's what's frustrating.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We even had them delivered. Did we take the milkshake order cost out of our delivery? Because I feel like that would have been appropriate. Order cost? We should have deducted the cost of milkshakes and the delivery of those milkshakes from the amount we passed on.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's like zero sum. So if somebody owns all the railroads, it's not like somebody else is going to build a railroad next to it. But with a website like Amazon, I don't know though, the distribution platform they have is pretty much just can't do another one like that. And if their existence precludes other competitors from even trying, that's when it gets bad.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Put a cork in it? Uh, alright, let's net hard. Speaking of holding your shit in for days.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, so the winner from last week, I'm not going to lie, is probably going to stick around for a while.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You guys are aware of Final Fantasy VII House from last week. Uh, I did have a song, I gotta admit it was gonna be kind of a soft lob, but, uh, audio hookup wasn't quite working, so I can't really play it, so instead I had to go with something text based, so this is...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes, so here you've got your, your main characters, Alvin Seville, Simon Theodore, Brittany, Miller Jamal, Jeanette, Eleanor, the heroic aliens are Jar Jar Binks, Chewbacca, Admiral Iquard, Neon Num, heroic robots, Johnny Five, C-3PO, and R2-D2. Johnny Five?! Whoa, input! The Saint Robot.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, the Rebel Alliance to Restore Freedom to the Universe is the main group to join the Chipmunks and the Chipettes and their alien friends and robot friends and Twee Twee family.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Leader is Mon Mothma. Where did that one come from? I'm not sure what that is. Tweet Tweet. I shouldn't Google that. Alright. Leader is Mon Mothma, the highest leader of the Rebellion in order to defend the world from heartless, nobodies, unversed, Galactic Empire remnants, General Grievous' droid army, and others. Wow, hold on.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, Alvin showed up in Aqua's Journey, a very real game. A spinoff game of the main series involves Aqua as the main protagonist, she's looking for her friends. Terra and Ventus will help advance on the wise. Marco Bellis and Suki Higurashi, who are those people?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, who's Marco- Marco Belli? What is the goal of this?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh! A Keyblade wielder as he appeared in Kingdom Hearts Nightmare's Wrath.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Voiced by Tom Kinney! Impersonating Hank Azaria? Woah!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Click images. Wait. Find a picture of Marco Belli. S3E32 Marco Diaz touching Angie's belly. This is star versus the force of evil.wikia.com so it's probably safe.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, I guess Marco, wait, no, that's Marco Diaz. That's not Marco Bellis. That's just someone else.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So it's made up, but Aqua was not made up. Aqua was real.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, so he's the brother of Marco Bellis. Or... what?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] His early years really weren't pretty, uh, he was the one that would get left behind in stores most often when he was younger. He cheats in school tests, uh, up to his high school years.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I got caught speeding because of a mean-spirited animal, dare them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, well, uh, so I guess, I guess it all originates with the, uh, the chipmunk.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, well, let's throw into the vote, uh, Final Fantasy VII House, Kingdom Hearts, the Chipmunks, and Chipettes series, that also involves Johnny-Five, R2-D2, and the Autobots, and Mon Mothma.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, James, who are you voting for? Kingdom Hearts, 100%. Wow. Okay, wow. Alright. Uh, Adam, what do you think? Imperious Final Fantasy House. Okay, it's getting spicy. Bruce, you're gonna have to shatter


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Jeanette was like the Simon one, right? Yeaah. Oh god, she looks awful in that one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I am repulsed by this reworking.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, uh, well I did have another, another selection from, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Zombies ready to go, but we're out of time. If you'll recall last week, there was a ring of zombies encroaching on Joel's busted Prius while I watched on from a roof miles away and we will have to be wait in, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We're after anxiety and attention for next week, when you get the next installment of zombies. And thank you for watching everyone!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That'll be the end of the podcast today. I really appreciate you spending your time, especially if you're watching live right now. That means you're a first member and that is the best thing we could ever get.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you just decide to spend your, an hour with us, that's great too, hour and a half, whatever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, if you enjoyed the show, I'd appreciate it if you could recommend it to a friend that might also appreciate it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hey, if not, that's fine. I'm not gonna beat you over the head with it. If you, uh, if you did like the show though, we do an extra little post show every week where we look at some fan art, talk directly to the community, if you'd like to be a part of that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You should sign up for, uh, First. We got a link in the description, you should check that out. And also we'll link to all the post shows if you want to see past ones. June, I had a pretty good time, and we got Tateys this week.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, you should say last, because you have the most information. He's the smartest. We're wildly speculating, it's more fun.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know what shareholders love most? Easter eggs. I'm gonna, I'm gonna go way earlier than that. I'm gonna go, uh, holiday 2019.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Here's a twist. It's going to come out and people are going to say, this is not a complete game. This is not full. And then they're going to write a really quick rally and say, well, there's more coming. We're working on the DLC.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, yeah. Because in the European version of Demolition Man, all the Taco Bells were Pizza Hut. That's right.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, so. There's a lot of gunplay. I, I, so the, the argument over that, the upset over that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I kind of understand, and I think it stems from a fear that if it's first person, you all of a sudden have less access to some of that world.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Third person games generally are games about access. You can get in everything, you can touch everything, you can go anywhere and do stuff like that. Where first person just have a tendency to be more linear, uhm, and stuff like that. So it's like, maybe you'll answer in the demo, but like that sweet ass car from the trailer, can you drive it? Yea, that's your car. Okay, and you just drive it? Yea, you free drive it around.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think those are the concerns that people have. That they're like, I'm gonna get all this cool shit, but it's just gonna take me through this world, as opposed to me being able to exist in it like I would exist in San Andreas or something.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think it's also, it's completely up for debate but there's something that combat sometimes feels cooler in third person.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, like first person shooters are exciting, we know they are, people love to play them, but something about like, dodging?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And like, if there's like, like, like, executions or takedowns, like those things happen in third person, generally. And there are first person games which know they're cool, like Halo.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Where they'll pull out to third person to show you those takedowns and you're like, oh, like that's cool too. I don't know. Even Deus Ex.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Where you are, like that, that could, people could argue that should have been a third person game. But it's first person, and it's pretty intense, though I could never get into the combat. I know it's cool.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm not okay with how much this reinforces Lawrence's twisted worldview.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, you roll up- One bird with two stones. What did I say? You said, well you said two birds with one stone, which is the right- Oh. But it sounds like we're doing- Two birds, two stones. Two stones, one bird. Oh. Let's team up to take out one thing. I think you're right, yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's no way you scrub that out. It may be, but we got a dry clean. Well, she got a dry clean. The thing is, you just cover the rest of the couch to match. So like, you don't, like a stain looks bad. But you stain everywhere. You just stain the whole thing. You ask her to come back next week. Or just like, all her gymnast friends.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just like, it's a pommel horse, go, go to town. No, cause gymnasts don't get their periods. I thought they break their hymen on, like, during gymnastics. You do realize the hymen does not have any correlation to getting your period, right? How's a bug gonna get out of that still there?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I'm just saying gymnasts, because of their low body fat percentage and strenuous exercise, don't get their periods.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That to me seems disingenuous. That is not true meditation. Meditation is the ability to take yourself in your own mind somewhere without using your senses. That's the whole point. It's the opposite of meditation.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But if you're relying on your senses, that goes against the idea of mindfulness.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What about, what do you guys think about this? It's that same experience except yeaah, there's a fleshlight. The fleshlight is really tight, and they're trying to fuck you but they're showing you terrible things to try and keep you from coming? That's gotta be a, that's a game, right? Clock of Orange?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I mean it went down, I mean it's good to get a lot of traffic, but it crashed pretty much. Well I can tell you Lawrence, that I did manage to get my hands on a great thing at E3. Jump Force.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And what did I say? I turned around after I put down the controller and I took off the headphones and I turned to you guys and said, these games are always garbage. Yes, that was your official review.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Everyone is so unhappy in the line. Thanks Max. What's up?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's like a city. And it timed out. And it timed out. I said, you win! I fired one Kamehameha. That's Frieza? No, Goku was also on my team, and at some point they knocked out Goku and Frieza came in.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I didn't know how to tag back in. And despite the fact that E3 has all these graphs showing all buttons and everything, it said nothing about how to get my character back.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It just sucks when last year, or like earlier this year, but last E3 they showed off a new game that takes a property, but they made


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A fantastic fucking fighter for beginners, intermediate, and advanced people that are into that sort of thing. That was true, very true to the source material, that it's just like, that's just, I dunno. These games are just making me sad. You just tap, tap one button.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Um, real quick, you said it was like, like numbers pop off them when, so like headshots are red or whatever. Yeah. Like crits and stuff. Is it like the division? Like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, yeah, or someone's just walking and you're going pop, pop, pop, pop, pop until they get to zero? Or is it like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like Call of Duty, where you hit them and they go aah, or, or like Wolfenstein, where they're like BOOM and then the number pops off, but then they're like, oh run, uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I just, to me, sometimes things where it's very, uhm,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like you'd do it and you'd hit him and he goes, oh my arm! You shot off! And it's like clear that it's just because you hit that quarter mark in the life bar that that happened, not because you necessarily targeted the arm or whatever. As opposed to say Destiny, where you shoot one of those guys and he trips and falls and he's like, ah!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, the goal for game dev seems to be, not even game dev, but just gaming in general, seems to be, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So that's what Valve has, right? That's what, you know, if you think about Rockstar, theirs just happens to be one and the same. They have a service, GTA Online, but then they also have IPs.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Since they have a service, they have the two pillars, so it is possible that they would just keep one from the other, you know? They don't need to mix and match if...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're putting this up here. This, this is, this took the spot of where GTA's kind of used to go in terms of like big premieres and like social media hype and people being excited and people waiting for this game for four years or whatever, longer. Like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But that's all early adopter talk. And that's also people, like, when the hype is based on the fact that there are barriers to entry, that's the last thing you want. That's like crisis. I wouldn't be surprised if this came out and it plays on everything.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So like, but I'm just saying, like, doesn't matter your PC.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's gonna play on everything. That's how you get things. Like, I get what you're saying about, is cyberpunk niche?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, Blade Runner 2049 didn't do great in theaters, but I think video games are different.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Qualification. I think when you can get in it and get a controller and play it


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Those niche barriers disappear. I think for the record too.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But that's how much it costs to make something that requires building an entire world.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, compromise there too. Cyberpunk will be a $60 minimum game with special editions pushing into the hundreds, I'm sure, which is worth five to, five to eight movie tickets depending where you are, so like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think it's easier to get people to adopt games than it is to go to the movies in this day and age.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Metal Gear? Oh, there's Metal Gear? It said Metal Gear. Whaaat? Ohhh. I think that's just the name of his character. Maybe.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I went through that game and all those lady bosses, when they broke out of their suits, I was like, I was like, YOU DIDN'T DO ANYTHING WRONG! And I was like, I'm gonna tranq him.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I just didn't, I just didn't feel like I played that much. That often.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause they were each, they were beauties and beasts. Cause they would, like one of them was like a cat and one was a bird. I just remember one like gets on mounts you like on a bed.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is hard netting. Load! If you could bang any of the beauty beasts, which would you bang? The hawk lady.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Science, surgery, DNA manipulation. All the reasons for becoming a horse. Can you give me a quick, what's the log line for this?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You could scroll a little bit up. Adam's head is large enough. I don't think I could scroll at all. Adam's head is large enough so I could see. I'm not a gymnast. So I could see. Adam don't move. Kay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] As for the Omar demographic. No, but Omar doesn't want to see these shoes being worn or used. They belong in a museum. This is a fetish though. I mean, is it?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So the, so the idea is this is a specific kind of shoe versus fruit. This is a big investment for this channel.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Meh, I like naked women. Alright, who are you voting for? Yeaah, let's pass around the table, James. This is really tough. These are two really good candidates. All that you got, Biggs!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm gonna go Nicky Crush, uhm, just because maybe it has something to do with the fact that I didn't get to see all the not safe for work imagery and all the extra work that went into these transformations. Oh, but they're amazing. I bet they are. So I understand if people are gonna tweet at me or message me and say I was wrong.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I just didn't see the full picture and I think I got a pretty good idea of the full picture here, uhm, and I appreciate the work.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But not with Nikes. I just think, you know, sometimes there's a shining example here and we were just complimenting all the footwork and the prep.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean that's, I understand. I think that may be part of a problem with the segment, but you have to understand where I'm coming from. Also if you look at the video history, just in terms of upload, it's a lot of Pumas.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I am not a chef, but I would wager that you're not letting the pan get hot enough and then the oil in the pan hot enough before you want that to reach maximum heat. So that way all you need to do is tssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then turn it and then you sear the sides that you need to and then get it out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Then it's heating up slowly and that gives it more time for all those bits that fall off on the side to sit there as they slowly get hotter and then ultimately dehydrate and start to burn. Right? That would be my guess.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Keep it on high heat, like you just leave the fawn sitting in there under the same heat that you seared the meat.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes. Uhm, if you're watching this Dude Soup live, or if you're watching it the week of its release, uhm, this Sunday, the Sunday that follows. Oh yes, right. June 22nd. Fourth. 24th.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, we're going to be challenging the, uh, speedrunners, all the speedrunners.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] After 24 hours of us streaming the whole time, uhm,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, are you calling Coolspot? I thought that was gonna be sweet until the very end, but that's gonna be- What are you gonna call right now? Pick one. Pizza pop.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We can put the vod up. Yea, we're gonna, we'll try and put the vod up. Yea, that's easy. I guess it's just the whole thing, afterwards, or we just chunk them out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh yea, we could do game by game too. Game by game maybe, but that'll probably go up on roosterteeth.com.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause we don't want to spam our channel with a bunch of those super, cause they're gonna be so fast three minute videos.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] 10 a.m. Pacific Coast time is when we'll be starting. And the last game that we'll be beating them in I think ends around 9.50 the following morning. And then that's a Monday.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Read it Adam. There's some good shit in there. I'm gonna try to. Okay. Anyone who flunks this oblong mathematics test will have to stay after school and watch the specimen


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is like a test for, oh dear god, this is a manifesto. Are you saying this?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's no way of tracking that though, because different theaters play different previews.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This was on the same printing press as a porno. I can tell. There's some of that in there. Oh! It includes guest appearances by Kane.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Those of the K and Suicide Tribe, uh, come along for the ride and see how we do in the South Bay. Oh wait, are those people?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, because it says, includes appearances by Kane and Suicide Tribe. Oh, period.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] On uh, Christmas Day. I know that. Is it? That's an LA thing. I don't know what it is. It's almost like, I can't wait for Christmas Day, Ron! And Ron's not there. Never is. And then you go out and you're like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Five, six, wow. Wait, okay, real fucked up question. What if Addison died?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh no. She went, and she went, 235, these are all right, all my-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I guess we can use it at the office. We have a new toilet.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They have, uh, they have bins now, yeaah. So, but I, I thought some asshole's gonna do this because they're like, just donate a bag. I was like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So they're like, look at all the clothes we donated, and all we have to do is give you 15% off, and then we ended up getting $800 million back in our taxes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, and like the password is your social security number, and you hit yes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've never actually been inside of a pawn shop. They've only existed in films for me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Once again, film. That's the only, have you been inside of a pawn shop?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do you think if you were locked in a cave like Tony Stark for three years you could figure out this puzzle?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sooner figure out how to put a battery in my chest to stop the shrapnel from...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What are the Russo Brothers names? Cause David Russo worked on this. Oh, it's music. Nevermind.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When you go to Jamie Kennedy's house, like we all will at some point against our will. Do you think he has a sparkler poster? Like in his foyer?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Google can't do the same shit for more than one month without changing something. Yeah, you're right. Oh, did you, do you like Google Hangouts? That's great. We're getting rid of it in 2020. Use this other thing that we're probably just gonna get rid of.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What do you, what do you see, Google? Anything? Oh! That's a real submarine! Look at that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wow. This is like our childhood. I'm overwhelmed. This is how we summon Pennywise the Clown. It's a great Christmas. Where is the-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You need at least a 16 megahertz, uh, and a 16 megahertz processor and 8 megabits of memory. Good fucking luck. Slick. Man, you look, we're gonna need a 13 inch monitor and it's gonna be a 640 by 480. So I better have QuickTime 1.6 or later. I love the past. Yeaah. 1994. Unreal.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm surprised you actually called it by its name. I didn't know it was called Puzz3D. I forgot that as soon as it was said to me. Also, look, we're going to be missing pieces.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You think the nice Russian lady at the pawn shop gave a shit when that guy's life was in shambles and they were gonna break his legs?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You thought Bobby's world was cute, but no, he's a bigot. You ever hear him?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A mall now stands. Yeah. I just looked up the address on Avenue of the Stars. That is, that is the Century City Mall now. It has fine establishments, like a pink taco. Well, it had a pink taco then.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There was a kid, there was a kid up the street, I forget his real name, but we always call, we call them nose.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm pretty sure it takes four double A's. Yeaah. Also, you need to return these batteries since they're rechargeable.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's the beauty though, people often forget this, if you have an antenna, TV is free.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, do you wanna watch Ladies Club now? Yeah, but guess what happens. Woah, yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This thing does not work by the by. What do you mean? The batteries inside this thing are worth more than the device itself.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I should pitch her on a TV series. I remember when this is what the Matrix DVD case came in.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So chapter one is the beginning, image two is, uh, I'm sorry, chapter two is image rip.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know why it says that. And then it's the Pittsburgh Open followed by France, the Nashville Open, World Cup 1 through 3, the old Ironman, Bob Long, LA Open, what's paintball?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah. I get it. I need to lose weight.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, this is, someone wanted Konami to pay for their vacation.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Dumb question, how often do you go in search of porn? Like have you ever done that thing where you go like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This does look like going John Lennick there, really. Oh my god.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's an Egyptian frog, and then there's a Russian frog.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's like Giovanni Robisi in that, uh, yeaah. Yes, very similar to that. It was a movie with J- with Julia Lewis or whatever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] 2 a.m., 3 a.m., kids are punching each other.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah. I think we're trained though.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's like, the greatest boxer that ever was! I was like, the greatest Irish boxer or something, but it was a really funny bit. Anyway, go watch it on YouTube.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's like NASCAR, right? You go for the crashes. No one goes to a boxing fight and you're like, that was a good 10 rounds.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But there's a little point system, which, so like for every Matt Peake who watches MMA and whatever you have seen, he's like, yes, that was a good hit. Look what he did there, blah, blah, blah. There's 8 million people being like, rip his head off. Kill him.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Every fight they, they had a, like a Mortal Kombat type rendering of what actually happens to your brain when you do get knocked out and how it like... Your brain rattles around the chat. Your spine roos.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So we said no headshots, we were like body shots only. So we were like whatever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Imagine doing that professionally and, uh, not remembering things.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So he's like, here he is, the oldest football player in history, 35 years old. He's been doing it forever, ladies and gentlemen.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's a weird thing too with high school sports where it's like, I'm wearing armor, I'm invincible. And then you see some dude running his head into a brick wall over and over and you're like, stop that. Like, well, that's not the greatest helmet ever made, it's not gonna protect you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, the bros are here! Hey, we got a fight club! I guess they're just gonna dance.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So that's the whole thing with Bollywood movies too, right? They always end happy? Is that the thing? Like there's never a sad ending?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If this is the yin, South Korea is like the yang.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, I see. Yeah. If all the endings in Bollywood are gonna be like, like, all's forgiven, let's dance, the people who died earlier, they're back, let's do it, it's like a play, and then, oh boy, you fuck your daughter and cut your tongue out, like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you've never seen it, you should watch the Tyson documentary where they chronicle his life of when he like, when he was just sort of like


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The shithead, like teenager, and then he got trained, he had like his rocky moment, he got trained, and then he talks about the moment where he would stare down his opponent.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Got on a treadmill and like, died. Like, she tripped on a treadmill and got her neck caught in there and like, I didn't know any of this stuff about, like, I don't know. Oh?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I saw Robot Chicken was on the other day and I'm like, people are still


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You should go dress, dress up in your Sunday best, take some pamphlets and go, hi, we take a moment to talk about Christ and go nothing. Just kidding. You got booze and cookies in your mouth guard and just try to


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, the, the sex symbol from Valerian? Sure. I never saw it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because that's what probably what to share with their six friends and if it gets you saw what is that American Vandal?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Remember how the prank channel they do, and they're like, it was like, it got 35 views, that was crazy!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's a moment because they go, hey, uh, brother, film everything. And he goes, I don't want to do this. And he goes, hey, TJ Miller, you know that hot girl's going to be here later. I need you to go around and film. And he goes, okay. And then he films the rest of the movie.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because he's behind the camera. Thank you, Adam. He plays HUD.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They are, they are, they're just movies, they're not found footage. Sort of like what happened with Blair Witch, except they kept going.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Chronicle did it in kind of a clever way where they're filming everything right and then the dude has powers.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do yourself a favor and do not look up the original script for, uh, the professional, where there is an explicit sex scene between a grown man and a child.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Whatever you do, don't look up that script, it's horrific.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm, Gary Oldman makes that movie what it is. What about Natalie Portman?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Gallons upon gallons of mercury, and you pour it into the hole. Into my outlet? Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Our ants only go to the garbage, but you know what else I don't do? I don't kill the spiders.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You flinched. The flies in my house don't last long.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was, uh, what was the, uh, like, so Blitz was a quarter, but then games like this and then that Sega Skate game, what was that one?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, yeah, yeah, I got a huge sunburn, uh, cause James and Elise were like, we're gonna play volleyball on Sunday, and like, cause we play volleyball sometimes. I didn't say anything of the sort to you. So I think I was lied to, I think they said, we're going to the beach, which I went, volleyball, cool.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It looks like a giant bruise. Yeah, it's bad. I think I can feel it peeling now, but like, last few nights I also sleep on my back.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So even weirder, only my, the top of my left thigh is burnt, but not my right. How was I sitting?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was thinking now that I, now that I have a backyard that I'm no longer ashamed of, I'm like, I could, I could sunbathe in the back of my, I can be naked in my own backyard. Totally could. I could. You're not concealed by a wall. I've been to your new backyard.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Was that gate open when we went there? That was closed. You walk through the house to get in.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's always weird when it's a tan line. It's a tan line, but it's like, of the thinnest thong, or something, or it's like, it's just like right around the nose.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They do, yea, you're right. And that, that, that's coming, we know it, cause we play it, and the color thing helped us a lot.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I saw it pop up, there was the story that ESPN's gonna start showing in the Overwatch League. And I was like, fuck yeah, cool, like, probably be, that's less people watching it than you would on just a Twitch stream, but whatever, fine, like, that's cool, that's pretty awesome, it's coming to television, that's a big deal.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] First comments were like, that game's ass to watch. And people were like, yeah man, it is. And I'm like, fuck, like. Which one's less ass than that? I've tried watching other, other than fighting games.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, but it was kind of cool having people post links of like, yeah here's some like, good stuff that's happened in Overwatch where like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A guy, there was a, there was like a Pharah flying really far off on, uhm, one of the, one of the, I forget the maps, the Middle East maps, uh, not New Bonnie, the other one, or not, no, not the Middle East. Sorry, uh, Oasis, sorry. And they're like, there, there's that one, uhm, jump pad on like the back of the, and so Pharah's hovering over and there's a Winston.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like you see it in his face, and I was like, and people were like, there's good moments like that. And then there was a thing that happened with the gladiators, uh, and I posted the clip, did you see what happened? Where they did the most insane flank of all time. It was, uhm, King's Row, gladiators on attack, London Spitfires on defense.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Everyone runs out, but they, they make, they just run past the point. The first point. They run through that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, they go to that little room, and they go around. Everyone except for Shurefour. He stays behind, but in Spawn he is, uh, Brigetta, Brigida, Brigida. Sorry, I messed up my name. So, Spitfire's looking at the, they think all the teams together, but he still stuck at Spawn.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, the Gladiators get the entire team to turn around. At that point, Surefour goes up to the top, switches to Widow.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Probably do better almost like as a VOD. Like, let the tournament take place, give...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, everyone's still trying to chase what was, you know, or I guess what is, like, live sports. Yeah, it's always, people want that, they want that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know. It's weird because you're trying to take something that's new and different and trying to make it like something that's old. Well what you do is...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I guess in the same way though, Twitch, I guess our online games, you're just going for the player. You're going for the player.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like I said, Overwatch, bless them. They're trying. They're trying. They're the hardest. They're making custom adjustments to their own game and making a custom build where characters have jerseys and, you know, it's a...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's a separate build from the one that's out there, and like, that's cool that they're doing that, but hopefully it's not in vain.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Um, she, I remember, I think she was like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hey, it's unfortunate. Well, one guy from Missouri and another guy from, uh, other part Texas argue about- Shut up, Gaijin!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What about that says Midgar or whatever?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Why'd he survive then? What? He was like sick in the back of a truck or something. Did you click that drawing?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Now it's fine, I mean, now you know what we have to do though. We have to...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Final Fantasy House? This is our Final Fantasy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wait, Advent Children or the movie Final Fantasy? Spirits Within.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But it was, it was preceded by 60 minutes of him being like, I'm sad Tifa, your boobs are huge.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, presumably, uh, the... Gotta get sick of Final Fantasy VII at some point, right? They should have been, they should have moved to the 9. Denova has surfaced occasionally to... Here's your tail! ...sort of say that...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's the weird thing where I don't really get excited about new consoles anymore because nothing will ever be the jump from when the PS1 could barely play itself.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When you play Final Fantasy VII, it's like, wow, the backgrounds are 3D renders, and then the characters are moving at a frame a second, cause they're like, watch out, it's an airship.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We live all his memories. My guess, Lawrence, is because the game was fairly cutting edge at the time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know. They fixed it with Final Fantasy VIII, but it's an inferior game.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's all you gotta do. I'm more of a golden saucer man myself. Take it on me, Slash.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, he's cool! I think that looks better than the fuckboys that the normal Final Fantasy characters look like. How dare you? Those are some solid bros, and I will let you have them. Oh, was that an alien?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I can't- I can't get behind Japanese fashion. Sorry, Japanese male fashion. I just can't do it. Guys- WOAH!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I love it. It's like the, uh, the Phantom Pain engine, where people got, uh, they replaced all the helicopters with revolver ocelot. So anytime a helicopter came in, it was revolver ocelot spinning.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's all that hair. I don't know what it is. Oh, by the way, here's them all. Tuggling up in it. Tom Vaughn. Of course. I don't know. Okay. They kept it a secret. I guess. Tom Vaughn.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Only because it's the most popular movie in the world right now, and also Fortnite's the most popular game in the world. How can you go wrong?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How can you go wrong? And the fact of the matter is they didn't, uh, because it's trending and everybody loves it and it's like blowing up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Also, also it's done really well, uhm, because the game itself doesn't feel like a sandbox, but as soon as you get to be Thanos, when you watch Thanos play, you're like, holy shit, like this basically changes the entire face of Fortnite, and if you've been, if you've played thousands of hours like most people have, then it's an entirely different change to the game, so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well this feels like, uhm, the reason this is cool is because he can do things that a lot of other players can't. So if you put a bunch of MCU characters into a battle royale, it just becomes a video game at that point. Whereas this is a little different because you're doing things that again, most, actually all players cannot do except for one player, Thanos.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think that we're speaking from a different perspective than kids that are playing it on their mobile phone. Like, I think that they're, it's just normal now. Like, it's not like somebody was like, yo, did you see Drake was playing Fortnite with Ninja? Like, I think kids are just like, oh yeah, I was watching Ninja last night and you ended up playing with Drake. Like, it's just like that simple.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, I think maybe, maybe the, like, the nerdiest of the nerds in Reddit will deride that, but I think the normal movie going audience probably is like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh look, it's Overwatch's Tracer, or like the dinosaur from Jurassic Park, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's what our culture reinforces though. And it has for years. Which is like, we always know a sequel makes more money than an original property. So we've been doing it for what, 30, 40, 50 years?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Pup up the volume! Avatar made 2.7 billion dollars. Infinity War is only at 1.2.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's where like a multiplayer game is though now. With matchmaking and shit like that. You're gonna get match made into a server that you can't win and Blizzard is gonna make sure you can't win.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You do? You love Scissor Sisters? I mean, I think Scissor Sisters are good. They're fun, but I mean... How often are you listening to Scissor Sisters? It's been a while.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well sure, yeah, that's the way I feel about C-3PO, yes. But Han Solo, like, from the trailers I've seen, I'm like, oh, that's really cool, I like, I really like this, I like the special effects. I think you can go either way, but yeah. Well the movie, so the way I feel about it is the way James has said, which is like, this movie could go either way. I, however, am very excited to watch it and see what happens.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I wanted to go through that, that solo cup tie-in I thought was almost perfect except for the fact that they didn't change the cup. If they had changed it to something Star Wars, anything related to Star Wars. They had maybe what, 30 days? Well, that's what's funny, you can tell, Adam you're right, you can tell because it was rushed. Somebody went, wait a minute.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. Solo cups, solo movie. We gotta do that. But if they changed the cups, they'd sold like, you know, special Star Wars collectible cups or whatever. Genius would have sold a billion.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, there's nothing tied to Batman. Yeah, that's a weak one. So, three. Three hamburgers, wow.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I give it three of those guys in white makeup. What were their names? The architects.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm gonna give that Dark Whopper three Heath Ledger's corpses. Nice. Out of ten. Which is a lot of corpses.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, that's not a bad commercial, but nothing's changed. Wait, was the green flavor new? No, I don't think so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I sometimes, actually, I want to talk about that after this because that's really important. It's really, really important. Is he married? Yes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it wasn't too long ago. I remember that commercial, I remember watching that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, uh, Adam brought up a good point. Who pays who? Because that's always the question. Like, who spent the money to get Thanos and Fortnite? Or did anybody spend any money?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That was also, I was, I was siding with either the money from Marvel to Fortnite or the handshake.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That you guys will know that I can't really talk about. Uhm, but it reminds me of a story where I remember one specific, basically the, there was a company that was working with another larger movie studio. And, uh, the company thought they were larger than they were. And they basically, they were, they were yelling at the movie studio that was very, very popular. And the deal fell through.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That they were bigger than this movie studio that's been around for 40 or whatever, 40 years. And to me with this Marvel and epic thing,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It required no ego. Both Marvel and Epic were like, we can do this cool thing. And they went, yeah, let's do a cool thing. And they did it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We should do, also off camera, we should do a little investigative journalism with Epic and find out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It is easy, but there are lots of examples, like I've heard the Star Wars license is impossible to do anything with, because...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Nobody wants to, like, nobody wants to change the canon or whatever the fuck. And this, and Star Wars is the most popular franchise in the world. So I, they could all, they could go either way. It's humanity. They could go either way, right? They could go, like, in the way of, no, I'm gonna be a dick. Or I'm gonna be like, yeah dude, do whatever you want with Star Wars.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, I wish I could try it. I'm gonna go home tonight and actually play Fortnite to try it and then I'll come back and tell James tomorrow that I didn't get it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So like the meteor will crash in a different part of the map every time. What happens


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I like that Lawrence speaks for Nintendo.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Lawrence does a very good job of speaking for Nintendo typically. He does a really good job.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right. It's like what you've been saying for years, games as a service. And also, it's really hard to cancel. So like, when you sign up for this stuff, it's always like, how the fuck do I cancel this thing? And you forget about it and it charges the credit card and 20 bucks a year.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Lawrence is right though, they're not, they're, let's go back to the hot girl analogy. They're not gonna immediately put out. They're not gonna go like, uh, yeaah, I'm 18 year old, I'm the hottest girl in the high school, and I'll fuck every single one of you. Like, she'll, it's gonna take six months of paying for like $200 dinners to have sex with this girl.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Why am I paying ten dollars a month? Oh wait a minute, Beauty and the Beast is coming six months from now. I'll keep paying.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But see, that's what they're doing though. If there's digital inventory, they're windowing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's, that's absolutely planned obsolescence. They're, they're saying, we're only gonna sell this many of the $60 copy, but then after that they gotta pay the 70. They gotta. And then you did. So it worked. Well, just it. Oh, wait. So wait.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Many times, but he keeps saying no. Casper Van Deen, Casper the Friendly Ghost. Together at last. We did a livestream with him.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I just want to do something on local news. I've always wanted to be on local news. I've never been on local news before.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's kind of a big deal. Adam and I were on a local radio show on Montana? No.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Lilypup world in a circle. Where is he? How can he just disappear? She thought worriedly. The pack was in shambles and the stress was so thick you could taste it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, one of them does look like John Smith.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So it was just always footage of them back at the house? It didn't make any sense. Uh oh. The Pumphrey Brothers.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I had to produce this segment on Attack of the Show when they came in, because they were like, we have to promote, uh, what was it called? Human Wrecking Balls. Wait, what is this? What happened?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Let's do Herald G4. Herald, uh, yeaah, TV shows.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause I want them to show that they would blur it out with buckets of like, of hurl. So they have them swim, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Holy shit. This is like torture. Oh, wait.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] God, nobody's... They blur it out with buckets. Then you just need somebody to run up and... Back in the pool. Back in the pool, oh my God.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Skip ahead. So they even cut it out of the episode, but that wasn't, that was YouTube I think, not Hurl. That's not G4's fault.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You can think of it as a woman. It's probably a woman. It's sneaky. Like, definitely. Nike. It's a high size one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, no, the thing is, that's you. Everyone else goes, ICE CLAIR!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They should make a realistic shooter where you can get a silencer for your gun but it never actually does anything, your gun's just as loud.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When did the pro come out? Last year? Yeaah. Just barely last year?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, were the pro and the ex, were they supposed to be like on par with each other? Like according to whichever came out first or?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was just saying, I don't think the average person who like goes out and buys video games for their kids or something is gonna defer to digital downloads.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh man. What's the reason it took me like three months to finish Witcher 3? Really? Why?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What do you think the chances are that PlayStation would come out with some kind of new portable thing?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They don't even like, they don't even look like sweat pants or sweat shorts.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hey, real life is tricky. Yeah, it suck. This is the PSA for all you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it's not like a thing that you're, like, the thing with the, like, 3DS is like, that's something you can just stick in your pocket. Like, the Switch is something you're never gonna put in your pocket, so it can linger around that kind of...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This blows me away. And it charms me every time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's nice. People have suggested that, that there's like a


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I know it says Clifton's, but I thought it said Clitoris. And I'm like, I wanna drink at that bar.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Thanks for having me, Lawrence.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I always thought the three hour tour thing was just making us a situational, circumstantial comedy thing. Like, oh, they were on a three hour tour. They're on Catalina Island.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it was announced, like what, 2014 Lawrence 53? It was an E3 in 2014 or... I wanna say 2014.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And player base wants a game that they can be playing for a year out, you know, especially if they're spending full price on it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Which Destiny's 10 year plan didn't actually come to fruition.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think like for me with a game like this too is I don't play a lot of multiplayer games. So for me the most interesting events that could come out of this game would be that I encounter something that then triggers an NPC reaction.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so, so for example, if I were to


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hit a storm then trigger some event that's happening with NPCs in the game, not necessarily relying on me finding like other crews to fight or something like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, language, accompanying language that it is early access or do you think a free early access window release and then once the game is ready for full release then, then do a paid


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know. Oh, it smells like fish. Xbox? Do they have a return policy? A digital one? I don't think so. Like Sony, Playstation has a return option now, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I was actually thinking like, I may turn on Destiny just to like, look at what this...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is, but I haven't played it since December.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think like what Lauren- I get where Lauren's coming from cause she's saying like this is like a sandbox almost of like figure it out and make it your experience and what it is and craft your narrative with your friends.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like what you just said, Adam, about having your start as a pirate, you're escaping from the brig. It'd be cool if even there was just some intro sequence that you played that set up that story, set up your pirate's life. Like when I think of all the things that I would...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Who? I mean, Muppet Shedder Island's a wonderful movie. Uhm, but, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There, you know, any classic pirate trope you would think of, maybe, maybe there's some infamous


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Dreaded sailor NPC that's on the seas of


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I'm never gonna find that Kraken. You'll find the Kraken.