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[Assistant] Alas, you wrote a military pledge, so I have no choice but to act according to military law.


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[Assistant] At that, Zhu Ge Liang ordered the guards to take Guan Yu outside and execute him.


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[Assistant] Well, it was high time to wrap up this little charade, so Liu Bei now intervened and pretend begged on Guan Yu's behalf.


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[Assistant] When we became brothers, the three of us swore an oath to live and die together, he said to Zhu Ge Liang.


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[Assistant] I know Brother Guan has violated regulations, but I cannot bear to break our oath.


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[Assistant] I hope you will show mercy and allow him to atone for his offense with future service.


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[Assistant] After a little requisite, okay, you twisted my arm. Zhu Ge Liang called off the guard and spared Guan Yu.


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[Assistant] Of course, Guan Yu, who had always been a little haughty in his dealings with Zhu Ge Liang, now owes him one. Point, Zhu Ge Liang.


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[Assistant] So let's leave Liu Bei's victory party and go check in on the troops of the Southlands who were partying pretty hard themselves.


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[Assistant] Zhou Yu, the commander of the Dongwu forces, saw all his officers return triumphantly from their assignments and recorded all their deeds to report to Sun Quan.


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[Assistant] As for all the enemy soldiers who had been taken prisoner, he showed them mercy and sent them all back across the river.


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[Assistant] He then feasted with his men and rewarded his troops.


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[Assistant] But the celebration did not last too long because soon Zhou Yu was on the move again, marching his army toward Nanjun with the intent to capture the city.


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[Assistant] He set up five camps along the bank of the river, with Zhou Yu in the center camp.


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[Assistant] Where he assembled his staff to discuss how to attack the city.


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[Assistant] Just then, word came that Liu Bei had dispatched one of his civil officials, Sun Qian.


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[Assistant] To come offer his congratulations on the victory.


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[Assistant] After Sun Qian came in and presented a gift to Liu Bei,


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[Assistant] Jiuyu asked him where Liu Bei was at the time.


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[Assistant] My lord has moved his army to the mouth of the You River, Sun Qian answered.


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[Assistant] This set off alarm bells in Zhou Yu's head because that meant Liu Bei was in the neighborhood.


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[Assistant] Hmm, what could he possibly be doing here? Is Zhu Ge Liang with him? Zhou Yu asked.


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[Assistant] Indeed, Zhu Ge Liang is with my lord at the mouth of the You River.


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[Assistant] Sir, you may go. I shall personally go to return your lord's thanks, Zhou Yu said.


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[Assistant] After Sun Qian took his leave, Jiuyu's confidant Lu Su asked him, Commander, why did you look so alarmed just now?


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[Assistant] Liu Bei is garrisoning his troops on the You River. He must have designs on Nanjun, Zhou Yu said.


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[Assistant] We have sacrificed so many men and used up so much treasure and provisions in this battle.


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[Assistant] Now, with Nanjun in the palm of our hands, Liu Bei is acting dishonorably and trying to take advantage of us. Hm, over my dead body. How should we deal with them? I will go speak with them personally.


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[Assistant] If they are reasonable, fine. But if not, then I will end Liu Bei before he even has a chance to take Nanjun.


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[Assistant] So this is not shaping up to be an everlasting alliance here, which I suppose could hardly be a surprise given the two sides mutual suspicions even when Cao Cao was sitting right across the river from them.


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[Assistant] So Zhou Yu and Lu Su set off with 3,000 light cavalry to tour Liu Bei's camp by the You River.


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[Assistant] He's not coming because of a few presents, that's for sure, Zhuge Liang said with a smile. He's coming for Nan Jun. If he brings troops with him, how should we respond?


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[Assistant] Zhu Ge Liang told Liu Bei how to proceed, and Liu Bei ordered his troops to line up their warships and take their stations on the ships to put on a strong front.


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[Assistant] When word came that Zhou Yu and Lu Su had arrived with some troops, Zhu Ge Liang sent the general Zhao Yun to lead a few riders to welcome them and escort them in.


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[Assistant] As they made their way toward the camp, Zhou Yu saw the impressive looking troops that Zhuge Liang had put out for him to see, and he felt rather uneasy. At the gates of the camp,


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[Assistant] Liu Bei and Zhu Ge Liang greeted their visitors and invited them to the main tent, where they all exchanged gifts and sat down for a feast.


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[Assistant] Liu Bei raised his cup and toasted Jiuyu to thank him for his part in defeating Cao Cao.


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[Assistant] Commander, I heard that you were intending to take Nanjun, so I have come to help you, Liu Bei answered.


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[Assistant] Of course, if you don't take it, then I shall.


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[Assistant] Dong Wu has long wanted to seize control of the Han River, Zhou Yu said.


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[Assistant] Now that Nanjun is in the palm of our hands, how can we not take it?


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[Assistant] Victory and defeat are not guaranteed, Liu Bei said. Before he went back to the capital,


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[Assistant] Cao Cao left Cao Ren to defend Nanjun and other key locations. He must have devised some cunning strategy.


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[Assistant] Not to mention the fact that Cao Ren is quite a fearsome warrior.


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[Assistant] I worry that you may not be able to take the city.


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[Assistant] If I cannot take Nanjun, then you may try to take it with my blessings, Zhou Yu said. Agreed, Liu Bei said.


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[Assistant] Lu Si and Zhu Ge Liang can both serve as witnesses. You must not regret your words.


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[Assistant] While Luzu was trying to go, whoa, hold on there, Joyu responded without hesitation.


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[Assistant] Once a man has spoken, he never regrets his words.


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[Assistant] Commander, your proposal is quite fair, Zhuge Liang chimed in. We will let Dongwu try to take the city first. If you cannot, then it is fine for my lord to take it.


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[Assistant] Agreement in hand, Zhou Yu and Liu Su took their leave.


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[Assistant] As soon as they left, Liu Bei turned to Zhu Ge Liang and asked,


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[Assistant] I was telling them what you told me to tell them just now. But now that I think about it, I'm confused.


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[Assistant] I have no foothold right now. That's why I want to take Nanjun as a refuge.


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[Assistant] But if we let Zhou Yu get first crack at it, and Dong Wu does take the city, then where would we go? This made Zhu Ge Liang laugh out loud.


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[Assistant] Back when I advised your lordship to take Jing province, you refused to listen. Why the change of heart now? Back then, the province belonged to my kinsman Liu Biao. That's why I could not bear to take it.


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[Assistant] My lord, have no worries. Let Joe Yuko fight to his heart's content. Sooner or later.


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[Assistant] I shall have you sitting pretty inside Nanjun.


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[Assistant] Liu Bei did not know what Zhuge Liang had in mind, but given the man's track record, this assurance was enough to cheer him up.


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[Assistant] So Liu Bei kept his army right where it was and waited.


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[Assistant] As for Zhou Yu, after he returned to camp, Lu Su asked him why he would agree to even give Liu Bei a chance to take Nan Jun. Hm.


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[Assistant] I can snap my fingers and take it as city, Zhou Yu said. I was just granting them a meaningless favor.


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[Assistant] Zhou Yu then asked his officers who wanted to be the vanguard in the siege, and General Jiang Qing stepped up.


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[Assistant] Zhou Yu sent him, along with the officers Xu Sheng and Ding Feng, as well as 5,000 crack troops to cross the river and attack, while Zhou Yu himself would follow with the main army.


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[Assistant] On the other side of the river, Cao Ren was defending Nan Jun.


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[Assistant] With his kinsman and fellow officer Cao Hong holding down the nearby city of Yiling,


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[Assistant] Creating a pincer formation where they could come to each other's aid if either one was attacked.


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[Assistant] When Cao Ren got word that the Dongwu forces had crossed the Han River, he was inclined to just stay inside the city and defend rather than go out to give battle.


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[Assistant] However, one of his officers, Niu Jin, protested.


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[Assistant] To not fight when the enemy is at our doorstep is a sign of cowardice. Our army is fresh off a defeat, so we must reignite our morale. I would like to lead 500 crack troops to go fight it out.


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[Assistant] Moved by his courage, Cao Ren consented and sent Niu Jin out with 500 men.


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[Assistant] On Dong Wu's side, the general Ding Feng rode out to meet Niu Jin. After a few bouts, Ding Feng pretended to flee.


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[Assistant] Luring Niu Jin and his men to chase him into the Dongwu troops' formation, at which point Ding Feng ordered his men to surround the enemy.


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[Assistant] Niu Jin dashed left and right in an attempt to break out but could not.


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[Assistant] Seeing his men trapped by the enemy, Cao Ren could not sit back. He donned his armor, hopped on his horse, and let a few hundred stout riders out of the city.


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[Assistant] Wielding his saber, Cao Ren led his men and poured into Dongwu's formation. The general Xu Sheng took them on, but could not withstand the charge.


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[Assistant] Cao Ren slashed his way to the heart of the formation and rescued Niu Jin, and they fought their way back out again.


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[Assistant] Along the way, they ran into the commander of Dongwu's vanguard, Jiang Qin, who was trying to stop them.


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[Assistant] But Cao Ren and Niu Jin mustered their strength and scattered Jiang Qin's troops. At that moment, they also got help from a relief force led by Cao Ren's younger brother, so they joined forces and sent the Dongwu troops scurrying, and then returned to the city in triumph.


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[Assistant] When Jiang Qin limbed back to tell Zhou Yu that he had botched the initial attack, Zhou Yu was irate and wanted to execute him, but was talked out of it by the other officers.


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[Assistant] Zhou Yuden wanted to mobilize his troops to go take on Cao Ren himself, but the general Gan Ning spoke up against it.


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[Assistant] Commander, we must not act rashly. Cao Ren and Cao Hong are in a pincer formation.


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[Assistant] I would like to first take 3,000 troops to attack Cao Hong at Yiling. Then you can take Nanjun.


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[Assistant] Zhou Yu saw the logic in his argument, so he gave Gan Ning the 3,000 men and sent him to attack Yi Ling.


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[Assistant] But word of this soon leaked out to Cao Ren, and his advisors told him that he must send help to Yiling. So Cao Ren secretly dispatched an army,


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[Assistant] When Ganning arrived at the city of Yiling, Cao Hong rode out to fight them. After 20 some bouts, Cao Hong rode away in defeat, and Ganning took the city with little difficulty.


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[Assistant] When dusk set in though, the enemy's relief force arrived and trapped Ganing inside the city. Okay?


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[Assistant] So now what we're guiding and showing you going to do.


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[Assistant] Find out next time on the Romance of the Three Kingdoms Podcast. Thanks for listening.


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[Assistant] Welcome to the Romance of the Three Kingdoms podcast. This is episode 66.


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[Assistant] Last time, we left off with Sun Quan and the Dongwu forces bogged down outside the key city of Hefei, which was being defended by three of Cao Cao's veteran generals, Zhang Liao, Li Dian, and Yue Jin.


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[Assistant] Sun Quan had just lost the battle, and one of his bodyguards was killed in the fighting, which made him very sad.


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[Assistant] After Sun Quan returned to camp following his defeat,


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[Assistant] One of his top generals, Tai Shi Ci, came to see him with a plan.


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[Assistant] One of my soldiers, a man named Ge Ding, has a sworn brother who is a stable hand for Zhang Liao, Tai Shi Ci said.


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[Assistant] The stable hand was admonished by Zhang Liao and is holding a grudge, so he sent word to us tonight that he is willing to start a fire in the city and assassinate Zhang Liao. I would like to lead some troops to back him up. Where is Ge Ding now? Sun Quan asked.


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[Assistant] He has already sneaked into the city, Taishitsu answered.


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[Assistant] I would like to take 5,000 soldiers on this mission.


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[Assistant] However, one of Sun Quan's advisors, Zhu Gejing, advised caution.


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[Assistant] Zhang Liao is crafty. He might be prepared. We must not act rashly, he said.


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[Assistant] But Tai Chi Si insisted on going, and Sun Quan...


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[Assistant] Lusting after some revenge for his dead bodyguard, signed off on the mission.


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[Assistant] So Taishi took 5,000 men and waited for the fire from inside the city.


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[Assistant] On the inside, Taishi's soldier, Ge Ding, has sneaked into the city with Zhang Liao's troops after that day's battle. He found his sworn brother, the Stable Hand, and hashed out the plan.


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[Assistant] I have already sent word to General Taishi Ci and he will bring backup tonight, Ge Ding said. How do you intend to proceed?


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[Assistant] The stable is relatively far from the center of the army, the stable hand replied. I'll set the horse feed on fire.


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[Assistant] You go out and start yelling that the troops inside the city are rebelling.


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[Assistant] And I will assassinate Zhang Liao in the chaos. Once he is dead, the rest of the troops will flee.


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[Assistant] And so it was settled. That night, Zhang Liao returned to the city fresh off his victory and rewarded the troops. But he also ordered that they must sleep in their armor that night.


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[Assistant] We just won a battle today, and the enemy has fallen back a good distance. Why do you not allow the men to remove their armor and rest? His staff asked.


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[Assistant] A commander must be neither too happy about victories nor too concerned about defeats, Zhang Liao said.


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[Assistant] What if Dong Wu tries a sneak attack while our guard is down?


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[Assistant] We must be even more careful tonight than usual. Well turns out he was right.


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[Assistant] Zhang Liao had barely finished speaking when a fire broke out in the rear of his camp, accompanied by cries of rebellion.


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[Assistant] Urgent reports streamed in, one after another. Zhang Liao quickly mounted his horse, summoned a dozen or so officers to accompany him, and stood on the main street.


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[Assistant] The situation sounds dire. We must go investigate, his man said.


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[Assistant] It is impossible that the entire city would be rebelling, Zhang Liao said.


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[Assistant] This is just the rebels trying to startle our soldiers.


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[Assistant] If anyone panics, execute them at once.


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[Assistant] Momentarily, the General Li Dian arrived with the two conspirators in tow. Zhang Liao interrogated them, and they fessed up.


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[Assistant] Once he learned all he wanted to, Zhang Liao had the two men executed on the spot.


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[Assistant] Just then, the sound of war drums rose up from outside the city, and the roars of men shook the ground.


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[Assistant] This must be the conspirators' backup, Zhang Liao said. Let's play along.


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[Assistant] So Zhang Liao told his men to start a fire just inside the city gates and make a lot of ruckus about a coup. He then opened the gates and lowered the drawbridge.


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[Assistant] Outside, Taishutsu saw the gates open and figured that everything was going according to plan, so he galloped into the city ahead of his troops. But as soon as he passed through the gates, he heard a loud explosive from atop the city wall, and he was greeted with a shower of arrows.


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[Assistant] By the time Taishi-san managed to stop and turn around, he had already been struck numerous times.


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[Assistant] As Tai Shih Tzu fell back outside the city, the enemy officers Li Dian and Yue Jin were hot on his tail.


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[Assistant] Taishi lost most of his troops, and the rest fled back to camp.


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[Assistant] Li Dian and Yue Jin pursued them all the way to Dongwu's camp and only turned back when Dongwu's troops came out to meet them.


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[Assistant] So the attempted coup ended in another victory for Zhang Liao.


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[Assistant] The failed coup was costly for Dongwu. Not only did they lose a few thousand soldiers, but they also saw Tai Shih Tzu return with serious injuries. When Sun Quan saw the arrow-ridden general,


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[Assistant] He felt even worse than he did earlier in the day.


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[Assistant] Now, his top civil advisor, Jiang Zhou, suggested that he call off the siege.


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[Assistant] Sun Quan agreed and took his army back to the cities of Nanxu and Renzhou. By the time the Dongwu forces were moving out, Taishi's condition had turned critical. Sun Quan sent Zhang Jiao to look in on him.


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[Assistant] When he saw Jiang Zhou, Tai Shi Ce shouted out loud.


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[Assistant] A man in these chaotic times ought to make an everlasting name for himself with his sword. Alas, my ambition will go unfulfilled. Let death come. After that, he died.


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[Assistant] Taishitsu was just 41 at the time, and while we haven't mentioned him much in our narrative lately, we should remember that he was a key player in the Southlands earlier in the novel.


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[Assistant] He fought Sun Quan's mighty brother, Sun Ce, to a standstill before joining Sun Ce and helping him carve out his own little piece of the empire.


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[Assistant] When Sun Quan heard about Texas' death, he was beside himself with grief.


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[Assistant] He ordered that Taishi be given a lavish burial and took his son into his own house to raise.


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[Assistant] While Sun Quan licks his wounds, let's jump back to Jing province, where Liu Bei was riding high after having conquered four counties in the southern and western regions of the province. When Liu Bei got word of Sun Quan's setback, he consulted with Zhu Ge Liang.


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[Assistant] I was studying the stars last night.


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[Assistant] I saw a star crash from the heavens in the northwest.


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[Assistant] This must signify the death of a member of the Imperial House.


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[Assistant] Just then, the proof arrived. A message came from the city of Xiangyang that Liu Qi, the son of Liu Biao, the former ruler of the province, had died of illness. This news made Liu Bei weep bitterly.


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[Assistant] Now, some of his tears could be due to genuine sadness for the passing of a kinsman who had stood by him in his time of need, but,


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[Assistant] Let's also not forget that Liu Bei had been staking his claim to legitimacy in the province on the argument that he was helping Liu Qi rule the land that he had inherited from his father Liu Biao.


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[Assistant] In fact, that was the argument that Liu Bei and Zhuge Liang had used to forestall Dongwu's claim on the province.


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[Assistant] Life and death are preordained, Zhuge Liang said as he consoled Liu Bei.


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[Assistant] My Lord, you should not take it too hard and risk damaging your health. We must tend to the business at hand.


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[Assistant] We need to send someone to guard the city of Xiangyang and oversee the funeral. Whom can we send? None but General Guan would do.


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[Assistant] So Liu Bei sent his brother Guan Yu to oversee Xiang Yang.


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[Assistant] He then began to worry about the inevitable consequences of Ryuichi's death.


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[Assistant] Now Dongwu will surely come to demand that we return Jing province. How should we respond, he asked. If they send someone here, I will have an answer for them, Zhuge Liang said.


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[Assistant] And sure enough, two weeks later, an envoy from Dongwu was knocking on their door. It was Lu Su.


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[Assistant] Liu Bei and Zhu Ge Liang went out of the city to welcome him. After exchanging greetings, Lu Su said, My lord heard that your nephew had departed this world.


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[Assistant] So he prepared a little present and sent me here to convey our condolences.


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[Assistant] Commander Zhou Yu also sends his regards to you both.


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[Assistant] You had previously said that if Liu Qi died, you would return Jing province to Dongwu. Now that he has passed on,


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[Assistant] May I ask when you can officially return it to us?


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[Assistant] Please, have some wine and we can talk about it, Liu Bei answered.


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[Assistant] So Liu Su obliged him with a few cups of wine, and then brought up the topic of returning Jing province again. But, this time, before Liu Bei could answer,


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[Assistant] Zhu Ge Liang's expression changed, and he said sternly,


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[Assistant] My friend, you are being unreasonable and forcing me to speak plainly.


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[Assistant] Since the supreme ancestor founded the dynasty, it has endured to this day.


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[Assistant] Unfortunately, treacherous contenders have risen up and claimed pieces of the empire for themselves, leaving people throughout the realm to pine for the day when the rule of heaven is restored under the rightful sovereign.


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[Assistant] My lord is a descendant of a prince and a progeny of an emperor.


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[Assistant] Not to mention uncle to the current emperor.


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[Assistant] Is he not in line to get his own territory?


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[Assistant] Besides, Liu Biao and my lord were kinsmen.


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[Assistant] What is wrong with one kinsman inheriting the enterprise of another?


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[Assistant] Your master is the son of a minor official from a little town who render no service to the court.


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[Assistant] It's only based on sheer military force that he has seized the six districts of the Southlands, and yet he is still not content and dares to make designs on land that belongs to the Han. The ruling house is named Liu.


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[Assistant] Doesn't get to claim territory. Where do the孫s get off trying to take a piece of land?


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[Assistant] Furthermore, during the Battle of Red Cliff, my master expended much labor, and our men fought hard. Dongwu did not win that battle by itself. If I had not summoned the southeastern winds, how could Zhou Yu have tasted the slightest bit of success?


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[Assistant] If the Southlands had fallen, not only would the two Qiao ladies be residing in the Bronzeberg Tower now, but even your own family might not be safe.


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[Assistant] My lord did not answer you just now because he expected that a high-minded man like you should understand such things without them being spelled out. How can you be so oblivious?


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[Assistant] Well, this little spiel from Zhuge Liang left poor Lusu speechless. After a brief silence, he muttered,


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[Assistant] There is some truth in your words, but it puts me in a difficult spot. How so? Zhu Ge Liang asked.


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[Assistant] Back when the Imperial Uncle was in dire straits, it was I who brought you, Master Zhuge, to see my lord.


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[Assistant] Later, when Zhou Yu wanted to attack Jing Province, it was I who talked him out of it.


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[Assistant] Then, when you promised to return Jing province upon Liu Qi's death, it was I who vouched for you. If you do not make good on that promise now, what am I going to tell my master?


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[Assistant] My Lord and Commander Joe would surely get angry. It's of little consequence if they kill me.


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[Assistant] But, if they decide to take up arms over this,


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[Assistant] Cao Cao controls an army of a million and acts in the name of the emperor.


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[Assistant] To make it easier for you, I will ask my lord to write a document stating that we are borrowing Jing province for our temporary base and that once we have taken other territories, we will return it to Dongwu. How does that sound?


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[Assistant] We cannot make a move on the north right now, Zhuge Liang replied.


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[Assistant] But the western region of the Riverlands is being governed by a weak ruler in Liuzhang, and my lord will make a move on that territory. Once we have this Riverlands, then we will return Jing province.


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[Assistant] So this was obviously more stalling from Liu Bei and Zhu Ge Liang.


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[Assistant] But Lu Si, unable to out-talk or out-wit Zhu Ge Liang, had no choice but to accept this amended agreement.


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[Assistant] So Liu Bei personally wrote up the IOU and signed it. Zhu Ge Liang then signed it as a guarantor. But then he said to Lu Su,


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[Assistant] Since I serve the Imperial Uncle, it hardly makes sense for me to be the guarantor for him.


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[Assistant] Might I trouble you to sign as well, so that this would satisfy your master?


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[Assistant] I know the Imperial Uncle is a man of honor and compassion who will not let me down.


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[Assistant] Lu Su said as he signed the document and stashed it away.


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[Assistant] After the banquet ended, Liu Bei and Zhu Ge Liang saw Lu Su off at the docks. As they exchanged parting words, Zhu Ge Liang fired one last salvo. My friend, he said to Lu Su.


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[Assistant] When you see your master, speak well of us and don't get any ideas. If he rejects our agreement, then I will stop being nice and take away all of his territory too.


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[Assistant] Our two sides should be on friendly terms, or that traitor Cao Cao would make fools of us all. So Lu Su got back on his boat before he went to see Sun Quan in Nan Xu.


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[Assistant] He stopped by the city of Chaisang, where Zhou Yu was recuperating from his injury.


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[Assistant] They may call it borrowing, but they are just squatting.


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[Assistant] They say they'll return Jing province once they take the river lands, but who knows when they would actually take the river lands.


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[Assistant] If they don't take it for 10 years, are we supposed to wait 10 years? This document is worthless!


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[Assistant] And you, how can you sign as guarantor for them?


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[Assistant] When they refuse to return the territory, this will cause you trouble when our lord gets angry at you.


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[Assistant] You were my benefactor once, and I will always remember your kindness in sharing your grain with me. So of course I am not going to abandon you. Don't worry.


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[Assistant] Just stay here for a few days. We will think of something once my spy returns from the northern bank of the river. So Lusu stayed?


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[Assistant] Liu Bei lost his wife, Lady Gan, the spy answered. Her funeral will take place shortly. That's it! Zhou Yu said to Lu Su.


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[Assistant] I have a plan that would deliver Liu Bei and Jing Province into our hands with no effort at all. What is your idea?


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[Assistant] Now that Liu Bei has lost his wife, he will no doubt remarry. Our lord has a younger sister.


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[Assistant] She is a tough, brave woman with a retinue of several hundred females who carry swords, and she has a chamber filled with weapons. She is a woman to outman any man.


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[Assistant] I will write to our lord and advise that he send a matchmaker to Jing province to convince Liu Bei to come south and marry our lord's sister. Once we lure him to Nanxu, instead of a wedding, he will be thrown into prison. Then we can exchange him for Jing province. Once Jing province is in our hands, I will have other plans and you will not be involved in any way.


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[Assistant] Luzu thanked Joyu for this plan to bail him out.


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[Assistant] So Zhou Yu wrote a letter and sent Lu Su to deliver it to Sun Quan in Nan Xu. First, Lu Su told Sun Quan about the whole


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[Assistant] Borrowing Jing Province agreement and showed him Liu Bei's document.


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[Assistant] Sun Quan was, just as Zhou Yu predicted, incensed.


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[Assistant] You are so muddle-headed, he admonished Luxu. What is the use of such a document? My lord, here's a letter from Commander Zhou, Luxu replied.


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[Assistant] He says this plan will ensure the return of Jing Province.


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[Assistant] Sun Quan read Zhou Yu's letter and nodded in agreement, and his anger vanished.


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[Assistant] He then began to mull over whom to send as a matchmaker. Suddenly, it came to him.


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[Assistant] None but Lü Fan can take on this task, Sun Quan thought to himself.


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[Assistant] Lu Fan was one of the Southland's veteran civil advisors. Sun Quan now summoned him and said, I recently heard that Liu Bei lost his wife.


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[Assistant] I have a younger sister and hope to marry her to Liu Bei so that we will be forever joined by marriage and work as one to defeat Cao Cao.


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[Assistant] You are the only one who can serve as matchmaker.


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[Assistant] I hope you will go to Jing province and convey my wishes. So a quick note here.


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[Assistant] The role of matchmaker was extremely important for ancient Chinese marriages, and to be a matchmaker between statesmen was, as you can imagine, a great honor.


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[Assistant] Lyu Fan accepted the order and sailed to Jing province with a few attendants. On the other side of this marriage proposal,


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[Assistant] Liu Bei was presently caught up in a melancholy spell as he mourned his dead wife.


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[Assistant] One day, he was making small talk with Zhu Ge Liang when he got word that Lü Fan had arrived.


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[Assistant] As soon as he heard this, Zhuge Liang smiled and said,


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[Assistant] This must be Zhou Yu's trick to get Zheng Province. I will hide behind the screen and eavesdrop. Whatever Li Fan says, just roll with it.


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[Assistant] Put them up in the guest house, and then we will discuss it.


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[Assistant] I recently heard that you lost your companion, Lü Fan said.


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[Assistant] I have a good marriage prospect, so I decided to risk arousing your mistrust and come to play matchmaker.


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[Assistant] To lose one's wife during middle age is a grave misfortune, Liu Bei lamented.


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[Assistant] My wife's body is not even cold yet. How can I think about remarrying so soon?


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[Assistant] A man without a wife is like a house without a beam, Li Fan countered.


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[Assistant] One cannot abandon this fundamental relationship in middle age. My master, Luo Sun, has a younger sister. She is beautiful and worthy and can serve you as a proper wife ought to.


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[Assistant] If our two sides can be connected by marriage,


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[Assistant] Then the trader Cao Cao would not dare to set his sights on the South.


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[Assistant] This would benefit both of our states, so I hope you will let go of your doubts.


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[Assistant] The only thing is that our queen mother, Madame Wu, adores her daughter and is loathe to send her away.


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[Assistant] If I had not first presented this idea to my lord, how would I dare to come suggest it to you?


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[Assistant] But I am already past 50, and my hair is turning gray. Lord Sun's sister is in the prime of her youth. I am afraid it would not be a good match. Not so. Lord Sun's sister may be a woman, but she has a stronger will than a man.


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[Assistant] She often says she would not marry anyone who is not a hero of the land. Your name is known all over.


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[Assistant] This is the ideal match, as they say, of the beauty and the gentleman.


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[Assistant] A slight difference in age cannot stand in the way of that.


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[Assistant] Upon hearing this, Liu Bei asked Li Fan to stay the night so that he could think it over.


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[Assistant] He then treated Li Fan to a feast and put him up in guest quarters. That night, Liu Bei went to see Zhu Ge Liang.


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[Assistant] I already know why Lü Fan has come, Zhuge Liang said.


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[Assistant] I have consulted the book of changes and divined great fortune and prosperity for you, my lord.


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[Assistant] Send the advisor Sun Qian back with Lü Fan to meet with the Lord of Dongwu and come to a verbal agreement, and then pick a date to go there for the wedding. But this is a trick by Zhou Yu to do me harm.


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[Assistant] How can I venture so lightly into such danger? At that, Zhuge Liang laughed out loud.


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[Assistant] Zhou Yu may have devised this trick, but can he outwit me?


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[Assistant] I will just use a little scheme to foil Zhou Yu, help you get your wife, and make sure that nothing happens to Jing Province.


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[Assistant] Despite such confident assurances, Liu Bei remained undecided.


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[Assistant] But Zhuge Liang did not even bother waiting for him to make up his mind. Instead,


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[Assistant] Who assured him that he was totally sincere about the marriage proposal.


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[Assistant] When Sun Qian reported back to Liu Bei and told him that his future brother-in-law was eagerly anticipating his arrival,


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[Assistant] Liu Bei was still suspicious and did not dare to go.


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[Assistant] But Zhu Ge Liang kept egging him on and offered further assurances.


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[Assistant] I have devised three schemes already, Zhuge Liang said. None but Zhao Yun can carry them out. So he called Zhao Yun close and whispered in his ear. Escort our lord to Dongwu.


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[Assistant] Here are three small silk pouches, each containing one scheme. Open them in order.


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[Assistant] Zhao Yun took the small silk pouches and kept them under his clothes.


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[Assistant] Zhuge Liang then sent word back to Dongwu that everything was set and that we were on for the wedding.


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[Assistant] Took about 500 men and set sail aboard 10 fast ships toward Nanxu, leaving Zhuge Liang in charge of affairs in Jing province.


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[Assistant] But on the journey, Liu Bei was still feeling unsure about this whole thing.


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[Assistant] When their boat docked outside Nanxu, Zhao Yun opened the first silk pouch as Zhuge Liang had instructed.


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[Assistant] He then handed out some instructions for the 500 soldiers and sent them on their way.


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[Assistant] He told Liu Bei that he should first pay a visit to the old Mr. Qiao.


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[Assistant] Now this Mr. Qiao was the father of the two Qiao ladies who were famous for their beauty and, more importantly,


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[Assistant] Were married to Zhou Yu and the late Sun Ce.


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[Assistant] So old Mr. Qiao was the father-in-law of the former ruler of the Southlands, and for simplicity's sake, we'll just call him State Elder Qiao from now on. State Elder Qiao happened to live in Nanxu,


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[Assistant] So Liu Bei brought a bunch of presents and went to see him. Once there,


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[Assistant] Liu Bei told him all about how Lü Fan had gone to Jing province to play matchmaker, and how Liu Bei was now here for the wedding.


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[Assistant] Meanwhile, Liu Bei's 500 soldiers, all clad in festive red, spread out through the city to buy various supplies, while making it known to every man, woman, and child on the streets that Liu Bei had come to Dongwu to marry Sun Quan's sister.


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[Assistant] When Sun Quan heard that Liu Bei had arrived, he instructed Lü Fan to go welcome him and put him up in a guest house.


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[Assistant] While Liu Bei went to take a rest, State Elder Qiao went to see the Queen Mother, Madame Wu, to offer his congratulations.


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[Assistant] Now remember that this whole lure Liu Bei here with a fake marriage proposal and imprison him idea was concocted behind Madame Wu's back. So she was completely in the dark about this.


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[Assistant] We're gonna have some fun watching Sun Quan explain this one to mom, to see how this family drama will play out.


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[Assistant] Tune in to the next episode of the Romance of the Three Kingdoms podcast. Thanks for listening.


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[Assistant] Welcome to the Romance of the Three Kingdoms Podcast. This is episode 76.


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[Assistant] Last time, the ruler of the riverlands, Liu Zhang, was persuaded to invite Liu Bei and company into his territory to help him fend off external threats from Cao Cao and Zhang Lu.


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[Assistant] Of course, anyone with any sense in the riverlands could see that this was a really bad idea, because Liu Bei was not likely to subjugate himself to a weakling like Liu Zhang, especially when there's a fat piece of land at stake.


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[Assistant] Still, Liu Zhang persisted, and a couple of his officials resorted to extreme measures to try to change his mind.


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[Assistant] One of them, Huang Quan, used his teeth to grip Liu Zhang's robes like a dog trying to pull its master back from danger. But Liu Zhang just gave his shirt a tug and freed himself, taking out a couple of Huang Quan's front teeth in the process.


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[Assistant] Then, as Liu Zhang was about to set out to go welcome Liu Bei, one of his aides, Wang Lei, had himself suspended in the air high above the city gate and threatened to cut the rope and plunge to his death if Liu Zhang did not heed his advice and turn back.


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[Assistant] But Liu Zhang's mind was made up, and he was not about to be deterred by such theatrics, so he called Wang Lei's bluff, rejected his advice, and scolded him.


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[Assistant] Alas, Wang Lei was knocked bluffing. When he saw that Liu Zhang remained obstinate, he waved a sword in his hand and cut the rope from which he dangled.


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[Assistant] In the blink of an eye, Wang Lei lay dead on the ground below.


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[Assistant] But Liu Zhang remained undaunted and pressed on.


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[Assistant] He led 30,000 troops and headed to the city of Fucheng with more than a thousand carts of provisions and gifts to welcome Liu Bei.


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[Assistant] Speaking of Liu Bei, he and his army were advancing toward their rendezvous with Liu Zhang. The cities along the way provided him with provisions, just as Liu Zhang had instructed.


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[Assistant] And Liu Bei's soldiers remained on their best behavior, as one is wont to do when you're told that you would lose your head if you dare to so much as take a single thing from the civilians.


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[Assistant] So Liu Bei's journey into the river lands was smooth, and everywhere he went, civilians, young and old, lined the streets to get a glimpse of him and to welcome him by kneeling and burning incense.


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[Assistant] Liu Bei in turn did the usual rounds of handshaking and baby kissing to get in good with the locals. And yet, Liu Zhang's spidey sense was still not tingling.


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[Assistant] While Liu Bei was busy making nice with the civilians, his military strategist, Pang Tong, was busy plotting with Ba Zheng, the envoy that Liu Zhang has sent to invite Liu Bei, and one of the collaborators of the inside plot to betray the riverlands into Liu Bei's hands.


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[Assistant] Pang Tong and Fa Zheng had gotten word from their fellow conspirator, Zhang Song, that Liu Zhang was going to meet Liu Bei at the city of Fucheng.


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[Assistant] And they decided to use that opportunity to make their move.


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[Assistant] But they also agreed that this plan should be kept hidden from Liu Bei for now.


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[Assistant] When they arrived at Fucheng, which was about 120 miles away from Chengdu, the capital of Yi province, Liu Zhang was already there and waiting. He immediately sent a welcome party.


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[Assistant] The two sides armies set up camp on the river Fu, and Liu Bei entered the city to say hi to Liu Zhang.


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[Assistant] After the ceremonial greetings, they dropped the formality and spoke freely.


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[Assistant] Weeping as they spoke of their brotherly affection for each other,


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[Assistant] When Liu Zhang returned to his camp, he told his officials,


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[Assistant] Fools like Huang Quan and Wang Lei know nothing of my kinsman's heart and held baseless suspicions.


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[Assistant] Judging from our meeting today, Mike Hinsman is indeed a compassionate and honorable man.


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[Assistant] With his help, what need have I to fear Cao Cao and Zhang Lu?


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[Assistant] If not for Zhang Song, I would have missed this opportunity.


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[Assistant] As he spoke, Liu Zhang removed the green robe he was wearing and told a courier to bring it, along with 500 tails of gold, back to the provincial capital Chengdu and give them to Zhang Song as a reward for coming up with the brilliant idea of inviting Liu Bei into the Riverlands.


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[Assistant] While Liu Zhang was gushing about how wonderful Liu Bei was, his staff was a little less enthusiastic. A bunch of military and civil officials cautioned him.


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[Assistant] My lord, do not be too happy too soon, they said. Liu Bei is soft on the outside, but hard on the inside. We do not yet know his true intentions, so we must be on guard.


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[Assistant] I thought he was a truly honest man, Liu Bei answered


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[Assistant] Liu Zhang may be sincere, but his officials, like Liu Gui and Zhang Ren, all look dissatisfied. Pang Tong cautioned him.


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[Assistant] Right now, it's not certain how things will go.


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[Assistant] In my opinion, we should invite Liu Zhang to a feast tomorrow, and have a hundred armed men lie in wait. Your lordship can throw your cup as the signal, and we can kill Liu Zhang right there, then storm into Chengdu. That way, we can succeed without breaking a sweat.


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[Assistant] Now, this was a pretty vicious scheme, the kind of thing that villains in this novel want to resort to. And not surprisingly, Liu Bei wanted no part of it.


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[Assistant] Liu Zhang is my kinsman, and he has treated me with sincerity.


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[Assistant] Besides, I have just arrived in the region of Shu, and my reputation here is not yet established. If I do this, neither heaven nor the people would tolerate it.


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[Assistant] Sir, only tyrants would resort to such a scheme.


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[Assistant] This isn't my idea, Peng Tung said, passing the buck.


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[Assistant] Fa Zheng received a letter from Zhang Song telling him to get this done sooner than later.


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[Assistant] As they were speaking, Fa Zheng stepped into the tent and added,


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[Assistant] I am not doing this for myself, but to be in accordance with heaven's will.


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[Assistant] But Liu Zhang is my kinsman. I cannot bear to kill him, Liu Bei said.


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[Assistant] My lord, you are mistaken, Fa Zheng pressed. If you do not do this, then Zhang Lu, whose mother died by Liu Zhang's hands, would surely attack Yi province. Your lordship has made a long and difficult journey to get here. If you press on, you will succeed.


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[Assistant] No good can come of falling back. If you remain indecisive and drag this out, the whole plan will go bust. If the plot leaks out, you would fall victim to someone else's scheming.


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[Assistant] You have both the will of heaven and the people on your side, and the element of surprise. So why not take advantage of this to establish your enterprise? That is the best course of action.


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[Assistant] And so it went for a while, with Fa Zheng and Pang Tung both trying their darndest to convince Liu Bei to just go ahead and kill Liu Zhang now. But Liu Bei steadfastly refused.


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[Assistant] The two advisors, however, were not about to let the matter drop so easily. In fact, they decided to take matters into their own hands.


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[Assistant] The next day, Liu Bei went back into the city to resume feasting with Liu Zhang.


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[Assistant] The two kinsmen were pouring their hearts out to each other and hitting it off.


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[Assistant] After the banquet had gone on for a while, Pang Tong secretly set to fa zheng.


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[Assistant] They told the general Wei Yan to go into the banquet hall to perform a sword dance.


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[Assistant] When the opportunity presented itself, Wei Yan was to lodge his sword in Liu Zhang's chest.


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[Assistant] Hey, we have no entertainment for this banquet. Let me do a little dance with this incredibly sharp and pointy weapon I have in my hand.


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[Assistant] And if that wasn't obvious enough to just about everyone present, Pang Tong also called in a squad of armed guards and stationed them just outside the hall. I guess these were the backup dancers?


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[Assistant] So basically everyone at the banquet could see where this was headed.


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[Assistant] One of Liu Zhang's officers, Zhang Ren, now pulled out his sword and said,


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[Assistant] It takes two to do a sword dance. Allow me to accompany General Wei.


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[Assistant] And now there were two guys waving pointy objects in a confined space, one trying to make a move on Liu Zhang, while the other trying to foil his every attempt.


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[Assistant] After this tango went on for a bit, Wei Yan flashed a look over to Liu Bei's adopted son, Liu Feng.


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[Assistant] Liu Feng caught his meaning, and grabbed his sword to join in the fun. But then, three other officers from Liu Zhang's entourage pulled out their swords and said, Hey, we want in? Let's all have a good laugh! Ha ha!


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[Assistant] Things were just about to boil over when Liu Bei grabbed a sword from one of his attendants, stood up, and declared,


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[Assistant] My kinsmen and I are celebrating our meeting. There is no cause for suspicion. This is not the feast at Hongmen. What need do we have for sword dances? Anyone who does not drop his sword right now will be executed.


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[Assistant] And in case you need an explanation for the reference to the feast at Hongmen, check episode 27. Meanwhile, Liu Zhang chimed in and said,


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[Assistant] I am meeting with my kinsman. There is no need to carry arms.


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[Assistant] So they ordered everyone in attendance to remove their weapons, and all the eager sword dancers went away grumbling. Liu Bei then called all the officers present up to his table and offered them a toast.


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[Assistant] My kinsmen and I are of the same flesh and blood, he told him.


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[Assistant] We are working together on a grand enterprise. There is no ulterior motive. Please do not harbor any suspicions.


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[Assistant] After the officers bowed and said thanks for the drink, Liu Zhang took Liu Bei's hand and wept.


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[Assistant] I will never forget your kindness, he said.


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[Assistant] Sir, why did you all try to saddle me with such a dishonorable crime? Never do that again!


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[Assistant] Thus scolded, Pang Tong sighed and took his leave.


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[Assistant] Meanwhile, in Liu Zhang's camp, his staff was telling him, Hey, look what happened today. Why don't you go back to Chengdu immediately to stay out of harm's way?


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[Assistant] But Liu Zhang, being the dimwit that he was, refused. My brother Liu Bei is not like other people.


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[Assistant] His officers, probably burying their faces in their hands in frustration, said,


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[Assistant] Liu Bei may not harbor any ill intent, but his followers all want to gobble up the river lands to enrich themselves.


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[Assistant] Do not try to sow discord between me and my brother, Liu Zhang told him.


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[Assistant] And so he refused to listen to his staff and instead continued to feast with Liu Bei every day.


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[Assistant] Soon, word came that Zhang Lu, the guy ruling the territory to the north of the Riverlands, was preparing his troops for an attack on Jiameng Pass.


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[Assistant] Liu Zhang asked Liu Bei to go repel this invasion, and Liu Bei agreed without hesitation, setting out with his troops that very day.


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[Assistant] Once Liu Bei was gone, Liu Zhang's men all tried to convince their master that he should order his generals to be on red alert at all the key strategic locations, just in case Liu Bei tried anything. Liu Zhang initially refused


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[Assistant] But eventually, after much prodding, he relented and told the commanders Yang Huai and Gao Pei to hold down the Fu River path. Liu Zhang then returned to Chengdu.


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[Assistant] Meanwhile, Liu Bei arrived at Jiameng Pass and immediately set himself to winning over the locals by keeping his army on a tight leash and spreading his kindness generously.


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[Assistant] So let's leave Liu Bei to his charm offensive and Liu Zhang in his obstinate obliviousness for now, and look back east for a little bit.


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[Assistant] Spies from Dongwu had long since sent word back home that Liu Bei had gone off into the Riverlands.


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[Assistant] Sun Quan and his advisors gathered to discuss the situation. Somebody suggested that, hey, since Liu Bei is way off in the west, this was the perfect time to strike. Send an army to cut off his return route, and then mobilize all the rest of Dongwu's forces and attack Jing province.


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[Assistant] Sun Quan was liking the sound of this until suddenly, someone stormed in from behind the screen and shouted,


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[Assistant] Who ever suggested this plan ought to be executed? Are you trying to kill my daughter?


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[Assistant] This caught everyone off guard. It was Madame Wu, Sun Quan's mother, or stepmother, or aunt, or sister to his mother who also married his father. Whatever.


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[Assistant] My daughter is my only child, Madame Wu said angrily. She is married to Liu Bei.


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[Assistant] You inherited your father and brother's enterprise and became the leader of 81 districts without lifting a finger. How can you still be so greedy as to forget about your family for some petty gain?


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[Assistant] As we have seen before, Sun Quan does not know how to handle an angry Madame Wu, so all he could do now was mutter agreement.


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[Assistant] Honorable mother, I would never dare to go against your teaching, he said. He then told his advisors to break it up.


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[Assistant] Only then did Madame Wu leave, seething, all the while.


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[Assistant] After everyone had gone, Sun Quan was thinking how lamentable it would be to miss out on this golden opportunity to get Jing Province back.


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[Assistant] Just then, his senior advisor Zhang Jiao came in and asked, My lord, what is troubling you? What happened just now? Sun Quan answered, I mean, dude, what else did you think it would be?


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[Assistant] That's an easy problem to solve, Jiang Jiao said.


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[Assistant] Send someone you trust, along with 500 soldiers, and have them slip into Jing province to bring a secret letter to the princess, telling her that her mother is critically ill and wants to see her.


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[Assistant] Then Liu Bei would no doubt trade Jing Province for his son.


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[Assistant] I have a man named Zhou Shan who is very brave. He has followed my brother everywhere since he was young. I can send him.


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[Assistant] Don't let word of this leak out, Zhang Jiao caution. Send him off, right now.


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[Assistant] So, Sun Quan secretly dispatched Zhou Shan and 500 soldiers. They disguised themselves as merchants and set sail on five ships armed with an official letter, a cover story, and a bunch of weapons inside their ships.


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[Assistant] Once they arrived on the banks of Jing province, they pulled up on shore and Zhou Shan went inside the city alone. He went straight to Lady Sun's residence and asked for an audience.


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[Assistant] Lady Sun summoned him, and Zhou Shan gave her the letter. As soon as she read that her mother was on her deathbed, Lady Sun began to weep. Zhou Shan then told her,


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[Assistant] The Queen Mother is critically ill, and all she thinks about day and night is your ladyship. If you delay, you might not get to see her one last time. She has asked that you bring Lord Liu's son, A'Dou, with you so she can see you both.


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[Assistant] But the imperial uncle is off on a distant campaign, Lady Sun said.


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[Assistant] If I want to return home, I must first let Master Zhuge know before I can depart.


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[Assistant] But what if he says that he must first let the Imperial Uncle know and seek his instruction before allowing you to leave?


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[Assistant] But if I leave without a word, we might be stopped.


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[Assistant] I have ships waiting on the river. All you need to do is get in your carriage and leave the city.


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[Assistant] Lady Sun, in a panic over her gravely ill mother, saw no other options, so she took the seven-year-old Otto and got into her carriage. Accompanied by an armed entourage of about thirty, they left the city and headed to the ships.


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[Assistant] By the time the servants in her residence got wise to what happened, she was already boarding the ship.


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[Assistant] So everything was going off splendidly for Zhou Shan, and he was just about to disembark, when suddenly, someone called out from the shore. Hold on! Let me say goodbye to her ladyship first!


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[Assistant] Zhou Shan looked and saw that it was the General Zhao Yun. So Zhao Yun was out on patrol while this whole thing was going down. When he returned and learned what happened, he was stunned. Accompanied by just a few riders, he raced off toward the riverbank and got there just as the ships were about to set sail.


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[Assistant] Who are you? How dare you try to stop her ladyship! Zhou Shan shouted as he held a long spear in his hand. He then ordered the ships to set sail and for his men to display their weapons to show that it was best not to mess with them.


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[Assistant] Both the wind and the currents were at their back, so the ships were moving off quickly. Zhao Yun spurred on his horse and followed them along the riverbank, shouting,


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[Assistant] Her ladyship can go if she wishes, but I must see her to tell her one thing.


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[Assistant] Zhou Shandou was not about to stop for anything, and the ships kept going.


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[Assistant] Zhao Yun chased them for a few miles when suddenly, he spotted a little fishing boat on the bank. Zhao Yun grabbed his spear, abandoned his horse, got on the boat, and had just one follower along to row the boat toward Lady Sun's ships.


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[Assistant] As they approached, Zhou Shan ordered his men to fire arrows, but Zhao Yun used his spear to deflect them into the water.


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[Assistant] Soon, Zhao Yun's boat was within a few feet of Lady Sun's ship. The Dongwu soldiers stabbed at him with spears. Zhao Yun pulled out his sword, deflected the enemy's spears, and leaped onto the ship.


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[Assistant] This move stunned all the Dongwu soldiers on board, and they fell back. Zhao Yun stormed into the cabin, where he saw Lady Sun holding Ado in her arms.


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[Assistant] How dare you, Lady Sun at Monarch Jiao Yun!


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[Assistant] Zhao Yun put away his sword, paid his respects, and asked,


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[Assistant] Where is your ladyship going? Why did you not inform Master Zhuge?


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[Assistant] My mother is gravely ill. There was no time to let him know.


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[Assistant] If your ladyship is going to visit your mother, why are you taking the young master along?


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[Assistant] He is my son. If I leave him behind at Jing province, there will be no one to look after him.


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[Assistant] Your ladyship is mistaken. This is my master's only child, and I rescued him from Cao Cao's million strong army at Changban Hill. How can you take him away?


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[Assistant] Now that remark made Lady Sun very angry, and when she was angry, she was very much her mother's daughter.


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[Assistant] You must be trying to rebel, storming onto my ship like this.


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[Assistant] If you refuse to leave the Young Master, I dare not let you go, even if it means my life.


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[Assistant] Lady Sun was done talking. She ordered her maids to kick Zhao Yun out of the cabin, but Zhao Yun pushed them aside, then stepped forward and pulled Ado from Lady Sun's arms and carried him to the front of the ship.


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[Assistant] But there was just one slight problem, or well, maybe two or three slight problems. Zhao Yun was alone, surrounded by armed enemy soldiers, and on a ship headed in the wrong direction.


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[Assistant] He wanted to steer the ship to shore, but there was no one to help him do that. He thought about settling this thing with his sword, but worried that it would not be proper since Lady Sun was still, after all, his master's wife. So he was stuck.


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[Assistant] Lady Sun told her maids to go get Ado back, but yeah, good luck with that one. Zhao Yun held Ado in one hand and clenched his sword in the other, and nobody dared to go near him.


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[Assistant] Meanwhile, Zhou Shan was at the back of the ship, manning the rudder. His plan was to just keep going. I mean, once they were on Dongwu's side of the river, what was Zhao Yun going to do then?


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[Assistant] Just as things were looking bleak for Zhao Yun, a dozen or so ships appeared downriver with banners flapping and drums rolling.


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[Assistant] Zhao Yun thought at first that this was reinforcement from Dongwu, but then he saw a general standing on the lead ship with spear in hand, shouting,


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[Assistant] Sister-in-law, leave my nephew before you go. This was none other than Zhang Fei.


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[Assistant] He was also out on patrol, and when he got word of what was happening, he made his way here to cut off the Dongwu ships. When the ships got close enough, Zhang Fei also leaped onto Lady Sun's ship with sword in hand. He was greeted by a saber-wielding Zhou Shan, but Zhang Fei was like,


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[Assistant] With one swing of his sword, he made Zhou Shan a few inches shorter and tossed his head at Lady Sun's feet.


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[Assistant] Brother-in-law, this is an outrage! A stunned lady soon said.


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[Assistant] Instead of thinking about my brother first, you are returning home without letting anyone know. That is the true outrage. Zhang Fei shot back.


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[Assistant] My mother is gravely ill. If I wait until I get word back from your brother, it would be too late. If you refuse to let me go, then I would rather throw myself into the river and die.


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[Assistant] Faced with this ultimatum from a woman with the temperament to make good on her threat, Zhang Fei and Zhao Yun decided that, since she's technically their mistress, it would not do for them to force her to kill herself.


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[Assistant] After we part ways today, I hope you will remember his kindness and honor and return soon.


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[Assistant] With that, Zhang Fei scooped up Ado in his arms and returned to his ship, along with Zhao Yun.


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[Assistant] Allowing Lady Sun and the Dongwu ships to go on their way.


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[Assistant] Now upon the river himself did he hurl. The southern sailors felt their spirits die.


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[Assistant] Once at Changban Bridge at Fury's Pitch, the tiger growled and Cao Cao's men gave ground.


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[Assistant] Today he stood beside his menace prince and made a name for evermore renowned.


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[Assistant] Their young prince rescued and their own reputations even more greatly enhanced, Zhao Yun and Zhang Fei headed home in high spirits.


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[Assistant] They had not gone far when they were greeted by a large fleet led by Zhuge Liang. Hey, there you are, sleeping dragon. Thanks for showing up to the party. Eventually. In any case, everyone returned home happy.


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[Assistant] Speaking of those consequences, when Lady Sun returned to Dongwu and told Sun Quan that Zhang Fei and Zhao Yun stopped her mid-river and killed Zhou Shan, he was incensed.


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[Assistant] Now that my sister has returned, there is no longer any familial ties between us and them.


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[Assistant] How can I allow Zhou Shen's death to go unavenged?


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[Assistant] So he immediately summoned his staff to discuss attacking Jing Province.


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[Assistant] I can only imagine how awkward his sister must have felt, what with her brother about to wage war on her husband, and oh yeah, your mom's not really dying. We were just kidding about that. Sorry.


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[Assistant] Now excuse us while we plot your husband's demise, but hey, she's a woman, so her feelings don't really count in this novel, and this is pretty much the last time we'll hear of her, so whatever.


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[Assistant] In any case, Sun Quan and his staff were talking about invading Jing province when two pieces of news arrived that put those invasion plans on the back burner. To see what news he received, tune in to the next episode of the Romance of the Three Kingdoms podcast. Thanks for listening.


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[Assistant] Welcome to the Romance of the Three Kingdoms Podcast. This is episode 74.


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[Assistant] Last time, we left off with Cao Cao riding high after defeating Ma Chao and pacifying Liang province, which lay in the northwestern part of the empire.


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[Assistant] As a result of his triumph, Cao Cao's prestige skyrocketed.


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[Assistant] Word of his victory soon trickled into the region of Hanzhong.


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[Assistant] And was greatly distressing to the guy running that region, the governor of Hanning, a man named Zhang Lu.


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[Assistant] We haven't talked about the region of Hanzhong previously in the novel, so let's talk about it now.


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[Assistant] This area lay to the south of Liang province and to the north of Yi province. The guy who runs things in this region, Zhang Lu, inherited his power from his father and grandfather.


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[Assistant] His grandfather was something of a swindler. He forged books of Taoist teachings in the Swan Caw Hills in the Riverlands. No one ever got wise to his scheme though, and in fact, he gained quite a reputation.


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[Assistant] After he died, his son followed in his footsteps. People who wanted to study Taoism under him had to donate five pecks of rice, and a peck is equal to about nine quarts.


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[Assistant] This price of admission earned him the nickname the Rice Rebel.


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[Assistant] After the rice rebel died, his son, Zhang Lu, took over and gave himself the grandiose title of Lord Preceptor. And his followers were known as the Ghost Squad, which sounds like a Ghostbusters ripoff.


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[Assistant] Captains in this Ghost Squad were known as Libationers, and those commanding large numbers of followers were dubbed Head Libationers.


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[Assistant] Ironically, for a sect that started out as a scam, its main concern was sincerity.


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[Assistant] Neither lying nor deception was condoned. They also had a rather peculiar way of treating illnesses. Anyone who was sick would be placed in a secluded room where they were to reflect upon their mistakes and make a confession.


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[Assistant] After that, everyone would pray for the patient under the direction of a libationer.


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[Assistant] The sick man's full name was written out, his penance explained, and then three copies of his petition to the three realms were made. One copy, a petition to heaven, would be placed on a hilltop. Another copy, made to the earth, would be buried in the ground.


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[Assistant] And the third copy, a petition to the Masters of the Netherworld, would be placed in the water. After that, if and when the illness passed,


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[Assistant] The patient would have to donate five packs of rice as a sign of gratitude.


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[Assistant] In addition to their faith-based healthcare system, the sect also had public bins filled with rice, firewood, and meat. Any and all passersby were welcome to take as much as they pleased. Although, if they took more than their fair share, they would be punished by heaven.


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[Assistant] As for the sex legal system, within the boundaries of their sphere of influence, they had a four strikes policy. Transgressors were forgiven three times, but if they continue on their errand ways after that, they would be punished.


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[Assistant] There were no court officials, and everything was handled by the libationers.


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[Assistant] And so in this way, Zhang Lu and his forefathers had reigned in the region of Hanzhong for 30 years.


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[Assistant] Because this was a remote area, the court deemed it not worth the trouble of an expedition to squash this bug. Instead, it simply appointed Zhang Lu as an Imperial Corps commander and a governor, giving him legitimacy as long as he sent regular tributes to the court.


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[Assistant] It was a tidy arrangement for both parties. But now, upon hearing how Cao Cao had just pacified the region to his north, Zhang Lu was feeling mighty nervous and gathered his staff to discuss.


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[Assistant] Ma Teng of Xiliang has been killed, and Ma Chao has just been defeated, Zhang Lu said. Cao Cao will no doubt invade our territory.


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[Assistant] I intend to declare myself the King of Hanning and lead my forces against Cao Cao. What do you think?


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[Assistant] And note here that declaring yourself king of a region within the empire was, not surprisingly, an act of treason.


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[Assistant] Because you are declaring yourself to be an alternate center of authority to the emperor. One of Zhang Lu's advisors, Yan Pu, told him,


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[Assistant] The Han River region has about a hundred thousand households, immense wealth and grain, and natural fortifications on all four sides. With Ma Chao's recent defeat, there are tens of thousands of refugees fleeing from Xiliang into Hanzhong.


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[Assistant] In my humble opinion, you should first take the 41 districts of the Riverlands before you declare yourself king.


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[Assistant] Zhang Lu was delighted by this suggestion and immediately began talking with his younger brother, Zhang Wei, about invading the riverlands.


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[Assistant] Spies soon sent word of these invasion plans back to the ruler of the riverlands, Liu Zhang.


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[Assistant] This Liu Zhang was descended from the imperial clan. His father was the imperial protector of Yi province, the major province within the riverlands. After his father died, the leading officials of the province decided to support Liu Zhang as his successor.


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[Assistant] And I should add here that another name for this region is 属. Keep that in mind because we will hear it mentioned plenty from here on out.


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[Assistant] Now, even before Zhang Lu decided to invade the Riverlands, there was bad blood between him and Liu Zhang, because Liu Zhang had once upon a time killed Zhang Lu's mother and one of his younger brothers. So Liu Zhang understandably kept a close watch on his northeastern border with Hanzhong.


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[Assistant] When word of Zhang Lu's invasion plans reached Liu Zhang, who was a meek, timid sort, he was extremely concerned and assembled his officials to talk about what to do.


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[Assistant] At this meeting, one man stepped forward boldly and said,


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[Assistant] My lord, rest easy. I may be untalented, but with just a few words, I can see to it that Zhang Lu would not dare to set his sights on the river lands. The man who spoke up was named Zhang Song, the lieutenant inspector of Yi province.


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[Assistant] He was a most unusual looking man. He had an angular brow and a tapered head. His nose was flat and his teeth were protruding. Oh, and he stood less than five feet tall, but his voice reverberated like a bronze bell.


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[Assistant] What great idea do you have, sir, that can mitigate this threat? Liu Zhang asked.


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[Assistant] I have heard that Cao Cao has swept clean the Heartland, exterminating Lyu Bu, Yuan Shao, and Yuan Shu. Zhang Song answered,


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[Assistant] He has also recently defeated Ma Chao and is unmatched in the realm.


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[Assistant] Your lordship may prepare tribute, and I will personally go to Xu Chang to persuade Qiao Cao to attack Han Zhong.


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[Assistant] That would leave Zhang Lu with little time to even think about making a move on the territory of Shu.


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[Assistant] Liu Zhang quite liked this idea, so he prepared some fine swag and dispatched Zhang Song as envoy. But, unbeknownst to Liu Zhang, Zhang Song also took something else with him. A map of the geography of the riverlands. Hmm, now why would he take that with him on this trip? Stay tuned.


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[Assistant] Zhang Song set off with a few riders and headed towards Xu Chang. Word of his journey quickly trickled into Jing province, where Zhu Ge Liang quickly dispatched spies to Xu Chang to keep him abreast of the developments.


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[Assistant] Once Zhang Song arrived in Xuchang and settled into the guest house, he went to the Prime Minister's residence every day to request an audience with Cao Cao.


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[Assistant] So apparently, since defeating Ma Chao, Cao Cao had been feeling mighty full of himself.


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[Assistant] And he's spending his days feasting and rarely left his residence, preferring to work from home instead. I guess he felt he's earned it.


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[Assistant] Zhang Song waited three days before being able to just get his name announced. Even then, he had to bribe the attendants before they would lead him in to see Cao Cao who was sitting in the main hall. After Zhang Song bowed, Cao Cao asked him,


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[Assistant] I have swept clean the Heartland. How can there be any rebels? Cao Cao said derisively.


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[Assistant] There's Sun Quan in the south, Zhang Lu in the north, and Liu Bei in the west.


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[Assistant] They command at least more than a hundred thousand armed troops. How can you say the land is pacified?


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[Assistant] Well, Cao Cao was already a little put off by Zhang Song's appearance, and now these blunt words did not help things at all. So Cao Cao flicked his sleeve, got up, and went into his private quarters. The attendants scolded Zhang Song.


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[Assistant] You are an envoy. How can you be so ignorant of the proper ceremonies and give such offense? Lucky for you that His Excellency did not punish you on account of you coming all this way. You should leave at once. Hmph.


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[Assistant] We from the Riverlands are not flatterers, Zhang Song said with a laugh. Just then, someone shouted.


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[Assistant] So you from the Riverlands speak no flattery. Do you think that we in the Heartlands do?


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[Assistant] Johnson looked and saw that the man who had spoken had thin eyebrows, narrow eyes, a light face.


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[Assistant] Zhang Song had heard of this Yang Xiu and knew that he was a fine debater, so Zhang Song decided to pick a verbal fight with him to show this guy a thing or two and put him in his place.


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[Assistant] On the other side, Yang Xiu was not exactly the humble type either. When he heard Jiang Song's sarcastic remark, he invited him to the library to continue their conversation.


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[Assistant] The journey from Shu is treacherous. Your trip here must have been hard, Yang Xiu said.


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[Assistant] I would walk through fire or boiling water at my master's command, Zhang Song replied.


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[Assistant] Please tell me something about life in Xu. Yang Xiu asked.


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[Assistant] Xiu comprises the districts of the west and goes by the ancient name of Yi province. Zhang Song told him.


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[Assistant] To reach it, you must either sail the difficult Jin River or traverse the formidable Saber Gateway Road.


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[Assistant] Roosters crow and dogs bark everywhere, and the people are always on the go.


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[Assistant] The fields are fertile and the soil productive and we are plagued by neither flood nor drought. Our state is wealthy and our people prosperous and we delight in music and song.


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[Assistant] Nowhere else in the land could produce such a mountain of goods.


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[Assistant] After that little message brought to you by the Yi Province Tourism Bureau, Yang Xiu asked, how are the talents in Shu?


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[Assistant] In the various schools of philosophy and religion, we have produced more exemplary men than I can begin to count.


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[Assistant] Among those in your masters service, how many more are there like you?


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[Assistant] But I am unqualified, Zhang Song answered. He then turned the question around. And what position do you occupy, sir?


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[Assistant] I am currently the prime minister's first secretary.


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[Assistant] I have long heard that you come from a family of distinguished office holders. Why are you not an assistant to the Emperor, but rather a lowly staffer in the Prime Minister's employ?


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[Assistant] When Yang Xiu heard this, his face became flushed with embarrassment. Keeping his countenance, he replied,


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[Assistant] Even though I occupy a lowly position, His Excellency has entrusted me with the important responsibility of administering money and provisions for the army.


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[Assistant] I often benefit from His Excellency's instruction and have learned much. That is why I took the position.


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[Assistant] I have heard that the Prime Minister does not comprehend the civil philosophies of Confucius and Manchus, nor does he match the military strategies of Sun Tzu and Wu Qi. Zhang Song said with a laugh.


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[Assistant] He has reached his high office solely by brute force. How can he have any enlightening instruction for you, sir?


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[Assistant] Sir, you live in the remote borderlands. How can you know of His Excellency's great talent? Yang Xiu retorted. I will let you have a glimpse.


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[Assistant] So Yang Xiu told his attendants to fetch a scroll and showed it to Jiang Song. This scroll was titled, The New Writings of Cao Cao.


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[Assistant] Zhang Song skimmed it once, from start to finish. It contained 13 chapters, all on military strategies.


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[Assistant] This is his excellency's work, drawn from the past and present, and modeled on the classic 13 chapters of Sunzi. You mock his excellency's talent, but is this not a work worthy of being handed down to future generations?


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[Assistant] When he heard this, Jiang Song burst out laughing and replied,


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[Assistant] This was a work by an anonymous author from the Warring States period.


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[Assistant] Prime Minister Cao just claimed it as his own, but he can only fool you.


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[Assistant] This is a private work by the Prime Minister. Yang Xiu protested.


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[Assistant] If you don't believe me, then allow me to recite it for you, Zhang Song said.


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[Assistant] He then proceeded to recite the entire work from start to finish from memory and did not miss a single word. When he was done, Yang Xiu was stunned.


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[Assistant] A cranky man, peculiar to describe, pure and upright, but coarse in countenance, whose words pour forth like rapids through the gorge, who master pages in a single glance


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[Assistant] His courage topped them all in western shu. To every learned sphere he stretched his pen. In philosophy and literature he was read so widely that no point escaped his ken.


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[Assistant] Having sufficiently demonstrated his talent and put Yang Xiu in his place, Zhang Song now got up to take his leave. Yang Xiu said to him, Sir.


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[Assistant] Please go rest at the guesthouse for now. Allow me to speak to His Excellency and ask him to meet with you in person again.


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[Assistant] After Zhang Song thanked him and left, Yang Xiu went to see Cao Cao and asked,


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[Assistant] Why did your excellency treat Zhang Song so dismissively? He was rude!


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[Assistant] But Your Excellency was able to tolerate Mi Heng, so why can you not do the same for Jiang Song?


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[Assistant] Now, it's been a while since we mentioned the name Mi Heng, so let's have a quick refresher. He was a scholar of great repute.


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[Assistant] Back in episode 29, he was recommended to Cao Cao.


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[Assistant] But he played the part of the insolent cynic to perfection, openly scorning Cao Cao and every one of his officials to the point where everybody just wanted to kill him.


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[Assistant] Cao Cao however, did not kill him, and instead sent him as an envoy to Liu Biao.


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[Assistant] Mi Heng, who just could not help but thumb his nose at any and all authority, then promptly ticked off Liu Biao, and Liu Biao sent him to go meet with one of his commanders. Mi Heng then ticked off that guy, and he finally killed Mi Heng.


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[Assistant] Ni Heng's compositions were widely read, so I could not bear to kill him, Cao Cao said to Yang Xiu. What skills does this Zhang Song have?


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[Assistant] He is superb at rhetoric and debate, and he possesses rare memory and knowledge. I showed him Your Excellency's new writings, and he read it once and was able to recite the whole thing.


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[Assistant] He even claimed that it was an anonymous work from the Warring States period, and that even little kids in Shu could recite it from memory. Cao Cao's reaction to this might surprise you.


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[Assistant] You would think that he would be incensed that Jiang Song was mocking his work, but instead he said,


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[Assistant] Could it be that my writings coincidentally match those of the ancients?


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[Assistant] And he then proceeded to tear apart his scroll and burn it.


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[Assistant] So, there are two ways to look at this. Either Cao Cao is so ethical that he would not think of taking credit for another's work,


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[Assistant] Or, he got called out on trying to take credit for another's work, and now he's covering his tracks. I'll let you decide which is true.


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[Assistant] In any case, the more important point here was that Yang Xiu managed to convince Cao Cao to grant Zhang Song another audience.


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[Assistant] Tomorrow I will be inspecting the army in the west field. Bring him there and let him see my troops prowess, so that he may go home and spread the word that once I have conquered the south, I will be coming for the riverlands.


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[Assistant] So the next day, Yang Xiu fetched Zhang Song and brought him to the West Field to let him behold the awesome sight that was Cao Cao's army.


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[Assistant] For this occasion, Cao Cao had rounded up 50,000 of his elite Tiger Guards. Their helmets and armor gleamed, their robes radiated brilliant colors, gongs and drums resounded to the heavens, and halberds and spears clinted in the sun.


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[Assistant] Echelons of warriors stretched in eight directions, and buntings and banners spangled and streamed while men on horses pranced and vaulted against the horizon.


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[Assistant] Yeah, that's right, Jiang Song. What do you think of Cao Cao now?


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[Assistant] Well, Zhang Song merely glanced sideways at this 3rd century military parade. After a while, Cao Cao summoned him and asked, while pointing to his troops.


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[Assistant] Have you seen such impressive troops in the Riverlands?


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[Assistant] I have not seen such military displace in our land, Zhang Song replied. And Cao Cao was probably just about to gloat, but Zhang Song finished his thought.


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[Assistant] We only govern through humanity and justice.


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[Assistant] At this, Cao Cao's countenance changed from one of satisfaction to one of, uhm, let's just say less satisfaction. And we all know by now that if Cao Cao is staring at you with a look of less satisfaction, trouble could not be far behind. Yet, Zhang Song showed no sign of fear.


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[Assistant] Even as Yang Xiu tried like hell to throw him a look to say, Dude, watch yourself!


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[Assistant] I view the vermin of the realm as mere weeds, Cao Cao said, again trying to intimidate Jiang Song.


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[Assistant] Wherever my troops go, every time they fight, they win. Whatever town they attack, they sack.


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[Assistant] Oh yes, wherever your excellency's army marches, every time it fights, it wins. Every time it attacks, it sacks. I am well aware, Zhang Song replied.


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[Assistant] So once again, Cao Cao was thinking, yeah that's right, you best recognize. Except of course, Zhang Sun was once again setting him up for a punchline.


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[Assistant] Like when you attacked Lyu Bu at Puyang, battled Zhang Xiu at Wan Cheng, ran into Zhou Yu at Redcliffe, met Guan Yu at Huarong, cut your beard and threw away your cloak at Tong Pass, seized a boat and dodged arrows at the River Wei. Yes, you were truly invincible.


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[Assistant] So if you knew exactly what Jiang Song was referring to for each of those battles he just named, then gold star for you.


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[Assistant] But in case you can't remember, here's a refresher.


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[Assistant] When Cao Cao battled Lyu Bu at Puyang, he was ambushed and nearly perished in a fire. When he fought Zhang Xiu at Wan Cheng, he lost not only a bunch of troops, but also his oldest son, his favorite nephew, and his man-beast warrior, Dian Wei.


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[Assistant] As for when he faced Zhou Yu at Red Cliff and Guan Yu at Huarong.


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[Assistant] I really hope I don't need to refresh your memory on those two, since if you don't know the significance of Red Cliff, then you probably have not been paying attention to the podcast for the last four months.


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[Assistant] And I hope you still remember the last two references, which alluded to Cao Cao's losing battles against Ma Cao, which we just wrapped up a few weeks ago.


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[Assistant] So in short, Zhang Song had just given Cao Cao the metaphorical middle finger. If he was trying to get Cao Cao angry,


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[Assistant] Well, congratulations, you've succeeded. Cao Cao was angry.


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[Assistant] And for your good work, you now have a ticked off Cao Cao ordering the guards to drag you outside and cut off your head.


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[Assistant] I hope that sense of satisfaction you gained from telling off the Prime Minister was worth this.


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[Assistant] At this point, Yang Xiu stepped in and pleaded for Zhang Song's life.


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[Assistant] Although Jiang Song deserves to die, he has made a difficult journey from Shu to offer tribute. If you execute him, you might lose the support of the people in that distant region.


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[Assistant] Cao Cao was still fuming, and it was only after another advisor intervened that he backed away from having Zhang Song executed.


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[Assistant] Instead, he ordered the guards to beat him with sticks and kick him out.


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[Assistant] Thus unceremoniously dismissed, Zhang Song returned to his guesthouse, packed up, and left town that night.


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[Assistant] As he headed back toward the riverlands, Jiang Song thought to himself,