[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I wanted to mean something. Who won male vocalist of the year? It was your category, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I'm happy to see that Joe Diffie wasn't around to see what they did to his songs that night. Yeah, I met his son. I mean, that tribute. Gosh, that was bad. What are you talking about? It was so bad.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Joe Diffie's so great. And what they did to his songs. What'd they do? Just sang it. They just sang him. Who was the singer? I think you mean Jimmy Buffett. It was, uh, now it was, uh, I don't know. I just, it was just you going. Oh, Post Malone? Morgan Whelan, uh, Post Malone, uh, and Hardy. And I was like, this is,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is sad for me because Joe Diffie was really great. Yea, yea. It was a sad moment for me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] At least Post Malone is not a country singer, so I didn't feel so bad.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Joe Diffie was really great and I just didn't, I didn't care. At least with Post Malone, it's like he's not a country star, right? So it's like when he sings it and it's not Joe Diffie, it's not, it's okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But the other guys are country singers, and I just-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's what he's saying. Yeah. Okay. And it should be better because they're country singers.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Maybe that's why I didn't look at you. Maybe he's just used to being out there playing music and like just standing up accepting the award.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I just grew up on 90s country and I love that country. I mean, that's my favorite and I don't.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I heard he got a new wife, uh, uh, Zach Brown. Somebody yelled that out at my show.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's a great, that's a great song, but I, I feel like, you know, it's like, that's like the, the main song that everybody knows Tanya Tucker for. And I just feel like it's such an old song that I wish she had more, um, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] More like hits for herself, because that's a huge song and I love that song, but.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it's a... She has like two sparrows and a hurricane. That song, that's a good one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I'm glad they're paying homage, but I'm just saying. What were you watching? It's, uh, I just, well, I tried to find your clip online. I did not watch the whole thing, but I tried to find your clip. And so I ended up stumbling upon other clips and I thought, Oh, here's a Joe Diffie tribute. This'll be, this'll be great. And then I was like, Oh gosh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then Post Malone came out and I was like, alright, well, this is a little better.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I bombed so bad. Did you? Meeting him. You don't remember that? Oh meeting him. I don't remember.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But he's a talker though, but he's a professional talker. Comfortable in front of people. And it's hard to have a concept of time, especially if you've never done stand up. And he was into it. He was having fun.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You just expected him to go up there like Rodney Dangerfield, rattling off, uh, jokes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's a lot of folks there in Lexington.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Not only have they been protecting freedom, they've also been protecting comedy. That's right.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, and you're in Bridgeport. You're not sure if you're safe.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I was in Raleigh, North Carolina at the Improv and, uh, it was great. No fights. A lady got kicked out, but, uh, she didn't fight anyone. It was great. She yelled about Zach Brown. Wonderful shows.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, no, I got a joke I've been doing and, uh, and someone yelled out in it about Zach Brown. Apparently Zach Brown apparently has a new wife and.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay. Something like that. I don't want to give away during your Joe Diffie chunk. Well, I do have a bit of a Joe Diffie chunk I've been working on, but I didn't do it this weekend. Yeah. Yeah. I like Joe Diffie. I think he's great. Yeah. And, uh, and I just, you know, want, when people do a tribute, I want it to be really good. You know?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But that was great. Also, I forgot, I brought them in the car, but my wife dropped me off, but a lady in Des Moines gave us all like a Texas Roadhouse gift card. Oh. And I forgot them, but I'll get them to you after. I like Texas Roads. But I wanted you to know that I think it's Texas Roads. It's a steak place. Yeah. I think it's Texas Roads. Maybe one of the two. Longhorn's nice. But I wanted you


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I didn't want to give them to you when we all weren't here and then I forgot them last week. I made them to your house this week, but not out of the car.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But, uh, she gave them to us and she was very nice. Wow. Yeah. Thank you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes, a surprise. The zoom, all the zoom stuff was weird. I did a corporate and the internet was in a hotel in Atlanta. The internet wouldn't work. So I did the zoom call on my phone and the only person I can, person I could see was the guy paying me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So for an hour, I'm looking at this guy doing jokes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm like, ah, checked into this hotel the other, you know, it's like, yeah. Did you show them around? No, no.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The zoom calls were tough. I mean, I figured it out during that time. I figured it out and I got pretty good at it, but it's, they could be brutal. Oh yeah. Brutal.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, I did have a- Well, I've been collecting leaves because, you know, I've learned that leaves are great, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because all, uh, you know, all spring and summer, your tree produces these leaves. And then at the, in the fall, they drop the leaves and then they decompose over the winter. And that's how the tree gets its food. So there's tons of nutrients in these leaves.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like I would think everybody wants these leaves out of their yard. And so a guy coming along going, Hey, can I take these leaves?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But some people I've caught like, you know, they'll be raking them and I'll be pulling into the neighborhood and I pull up next door and I go, hey, if you get those bagged up, I'll come take the bags. Yesterday I got 12 bags from one of my neighbors.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I'm gonna, I'm gonna put leaves all over a whole area in my backyard to kill all the grass over the way and then, and then have it break down. It'll create a little bit of a topsoil.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then I'm gonna plant some wildflower seeds. Okay. So I'm gonna have these, all these wildflowers, native wildflowers.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I was raking and then so I asked this one neighbor if I could rake his leaves and he was like, yeah, totally fine. And then the next house down. Just had.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just so many leaves. I was like, clearly, I've never seen this guy outside before. I was like, there's no way he cares about the leaves. So I'm just gonna rake his leaves.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then he comes outside while I'm raking the leaves and apparently he did want the leaves.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So we had kind of an awkward interaction. My nephew was there with me. My nephew was very uncomfortable. I've been in plenty of situations. So it was not that big of a deal. I was like, Oh, you want the leaves? All right, no problem. I was like, I'm sorry. I'm out here raking your leaves. You know, I was very apologetic, but.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was also a little taken back that the guy wanted the lead.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I did say that. I said, I appreciate that you want the leaves. I said, I'm sorry that I assumed you didn't want these leaves. And then I talked to him about how the leaves are nutritious for the grass and for the trees.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then my other neighbor, he lets me have his leaves, but he really likes his lawn. And I was raking leaves out of his lawn yesterday and he told me I was.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A thing that rakes the, like you push it. It's like a cart. Yeah. And it puts the leaves up in a bag, which I didn't know existed. So I'm about to get that. Yeah. Like those. So I'm pulling up the runners apparently. And I didn't realize.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm a trunk spool right now. Cause my trunk's full because I got a bathtub in there that I bought today. Uh, cause I'm going to do a worm farm and there's this guy from Australia. It's called the weedy garden. And he's like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, he's created, uh, you know, videos on different things and one of them is a worm farm and he made it out of a bathtub.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I found one on Marketplace. Yeah. And so I got that in the back of the truck right now. And then you got to, you got to do something. Where's the bathtub going to be? Well, you, I'm going to put, I'm going to take it out to the, the cabin. I'm not going to put it at our house in the suburbs, but you gotta, you know, you kind of lift it up. You put a little top over it. You put dirt and.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. This guy's great though. He's all about living off the land. Like I don't think he lives off the land, but he's all about growing stuff and he protects the environment. That sort of, and I'm into that sort of stuff. I'm not necessarily into the government protecting the environment environment, but I am about, um, you know, being kind to the earth.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's been, I'll tell you this, I saw these two older ladies bagging up, uh, leaves yesterday and they go, hey, if you'll leave those leaves, I'll come pick them up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And they were very happy. Cause they had 12 giant bags.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They didn't have to set them out by the road and wait for weeks for people to come pick them up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Who usually picks them up? I guess the city. Yeah. So.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And now they don't have to have all these trash bags sitting out by their house.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, it's going to be great. I'm going to do a video about it. I want you to see my yard now and then next spring. Yeah, me too. It's going to be, it's going to be something.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it is very popular. Um, I mean, I found him during COVID, but, uh, yeah, you gotta see him on YouTube.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's got 99 followers. You gotta find him on YouTube, that's where.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But h-he used to be a photographer, right? So...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He, that's what's so great about his videos is he's like, I'm not saying I'm an expert gardener.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But he's like my, his, he, he has all the camera equipment. So the stuff he films, it's a very interesting videos. Yeah. Was he in New Zealand? I thought he was in Australia.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you get the Hebrew, the Hebrew national hot dog, it is the same as a pack of bones.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it's like one time I did a TV show called Nashville Squares and I thought, well, this will be great. For sure. This will be in Nashville. And it was of course in LA. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know how fast, uh, I could swim. I would go like just saying this guy who does never see me. So I've never been swimming together. Me and this guy, Justin Gibson. He has, he has never


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'd like to do it too. I mean, I'm all about it. This guy, assuming that he, that Brian would look better on a soccer field than I would look in a swimming pool.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. I mean, I'm not saying that I'm ready to win the Olympics, but the idea is that we're able to go out there and swim and, and, and what would be the sport you would have the best chance in?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And that's what I said is swimming and everybody's acting like I'm out here going. I think I'm going to quit comedy and get into swimming.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You'd be a fan favorite. And I think people would go wow that guy swam a lot faster than we expected.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, I just, you know, wherever I blend in the best, how was the question presented?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I'm not even talking to you, any non-professional soccer player.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And my thing here is it's not that yours would be so terrible at soccer and that I would be so great at swimming. It's just the idea that me saying I could blend in with swimmer seems so ridiculous.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Never blend in, in soccer. I mean, I would be so winded. I can't run. I mean, I get so winded running.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I don't know. Honestly, I don't know anything about that. Uhm, I think the problem with NASCAR, I think, is that, uh, there's too many, uh, big time corporate sponsors in there, so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Every car is like, you know, millions of dollars. I think that's the real problem. I think it needs to go back to some basics, uh, where you, where you just build fast cars rather than just having access to all the greatest parts in the world.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It feels like if you have a restrictor plate and then everybody has the best stuff they can buy then all the cars are the same speed.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I don't know. I mean, I don't know, uh, about that. I, I just think that the pro, you know, it's like everybody gets hurt all the time in the NFL and that's cause they're.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So strong. I don't know if people are getting hurt all the time in NASCAR. So that's my point is it's like, they keep making these rules to kind of make it weaker because everybody's so strong. And I just feel like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, a lot of the tackling stuff is what's fun and they call roughing the passer a lot when it feels like, ah, that wasn't that. I mean, I know all the hits are big when you're being hit by somebody like that, but sometimes it's like, come on guys, the guy sack the quarterback.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And instead of getting the sack, now it's a huge penalty when it's like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I feel like then all the cars are the same and it really comes down to the driver, which maybe that's the way it should be, but I don't know. I don't know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] N-Nascar's popularity now, but I know that my family, the, the, the redneck side of things is not as intuitive as they used to be.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause it's not really a redneck sport anymore. It's very corporate, I feel like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, like what, like we discovered the, uh, spelling of Turkey. Yeah. Like that. That's got, that's new.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I watched a YouTube thing on like the coldest country in the world. And I think it's, it's kind of a, I mean, it's like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But it's like, uh, you know, everyone looked Asian and they, and it's the coldest country in the world. And it was like, it was really wild. I really enjoyed it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What was the name of it? I think it was to the, yeah, I don't remember. To the west of? I think it was to the other side. Alaska?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, that kind of stuff is really great. I mean, it's really fun to just discover what people have to go through, how they have to live. It all seems so normal to them and not that big of a deal, but to me, that seems insane.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's one great line though where Dan Aykroyd picks up, uh, John Belushi from prison and they come back to his house and there's all these trains going by and he goes, uh, how often does a train come by? He says, so often you won't even notice.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I think that's such a great line. It's so funny. And then the other one, I think this is a little more classic where they go, what kind of music you play here? Both kinds, country and Western.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm going to have to say as much as I appreciate Eddie and Chelsea Polinsky and you're right though, I do deserve better, but just in general, but I was thinking about natural born killers. I just, I was thinking


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In that movie, uh, Woody Harrelson, cause I never watched it cause it's, it's too much for me, but uh, Woody Harrelson. And now I can't think of the girl's name again, but Juliette Lewis, Juliette Lewis, that they were Bonnie and Clyde.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But, I'm glad that you brought up the Highwaymen because I would like to watch this. Kevin Costner and Woody Harrelson sounds like a great movie.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'd like to read that one. It started off terrible acting, terrible script.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It is sometimes fun to watch a movie that no one likes just to, you know, because


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Any movie less than two hours is, is I'm in for it these days. It's like, they make movies too long. It's like, learn to wrap it up in less than two hours.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Let's share it. Let me know. Yeah. That's the best policy they've ever gotten. Maybe the score will go up. I don't know how you vote for this, but, uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I do like Helix mattress. Thanks to our friends at Helix Sleep. Lucky for you, they're having a new sale. Helix is offering 25% off all mattress orders and two free pillows November 10th.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Through the 19th. So that's when the free sale is. And I like this. The mattress is great. I have two of these mattresses as a matter of fact. And we have a lot of beds. We're always trying to get people to stay in our house. And the pillows are great.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I, I, I continue to stand by this. It's the best pillow I've ever had. You talk about the pillows a lot. I got a lot of pillows. We have, you could argue we have too many pillows at our house, but if the Helix pillow is not where I'm like, I can't, I don't know. I don't want to, I don't want to go to sleep until I find this man, this pillow.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Helix Sleep is our favorite premium mattress brand with tailored mattresses based on your unique sleep preferences. The Helix lineup offers 20 unique mattresses including the award-winning Luxe collection, the new Helix Elite collection, a mattress designed for big and tall sleepers,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Take the Helix Sleep Quiz and find your perfect mattress in under two minutes. Helix mattresses are shipped straight to your door, free of charge, with easy, no contact delivery. It is fun to open these up too. They come in like, they're like a little bitty thing and you open it up. It's so great. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They offer a 100 night trial to try out your new Helix mattress and offer a 10 to 15 year warranty depending on the model. Unlike a lot of mattress companies out there, Helix owns its own manufacturing facility. Every mattress is made by a team of skilled manufacturers.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Helix supports military, first responders, teachers, and students by giving them a special discount on site. Also comedians, because I sleep on their mattress and it feels good. By supporting Helix, you're allowing them to support NateLand.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Helix is offering 25% off all mattress orders and two free pillows for our listeners in honor of Black Friday. Go to helixsleep.com slash Nate and use code helixpartner25. This is their best offer yet and it won't last long. With Helix, better sleep,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Starts now. And you know what? Last night, slipped on the couch. That's why I'm tired today. Yeah, it was worse. Oh wow. Messed up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Now we just got a baby though and we've been trying up some different, we've been trying some sleep training. So we kind of have surrendered our bedroom to the baby in hopes to let him cry a little bit, uh, before we go pick him up, hopes that he might go back to sleep.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know. I can't, uh, they don't know about the leaves. So they may listen to this podcast and if they find out, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, they may not come, but I think I'm having trouble getting my parents to come because of college football. My dad, you know, he needs to be at home and my mom has season tickets to the Auburn games and she's been going to a lot of away games.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Lou Holtz was so great. Did I tell you, I used to make fun of Lou Holtz a little bit, and uhm.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, because he always annoyed me on the, when he was a commentator, but I, I was, I was going to make a joke about him. So I went and watched some of his videos. Very inspirational. I love Lou Holt. I was like, I'll never do that again. I'll never make fun of him again. He's really great.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I got, you know, I got raccoons, I got possums out there. How do you know that it's the same raccoon? I don't know. I did trap a raccoon one time on accident and I let him go. Or her, I don't know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know him that well. Got a lot of birds. I got some squirrels. I'm thinking about putting up an owl house.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My, my, uh, I got some, my HOA is pretty loose, you know, and I got some neighbors in back, back of me, they have a lot of chickens. So I think, you know, you're saying they don't stop making noise, the owls?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And see, I'm either, I wanna, I wanna nighttime creature out there, so I'm either going bat houses or owl houses. For what reason?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, uh, and I don't have chickens, but my neighbor does. And then, uh, an owl will eat rats and I hope moles. We got a lot of moles. I'd love for it to get the, get the moles.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I did have pets growing up. I had a dog. I had, uh, I had a dog, uh, when I was a little, uh, living in the trailer park, it would, it would always grunt when it was a puppy. And my, my, uh, friend told me I should name it grunt. So I did name it grunt and I had a dog named grunt for


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A long time and then it disappeared. My friend told me he saw my mom loading it up into the dog pound truck one day. Oh gosh. She denies it. She said that didn't happen. And I can't see my mom doing it, but I also don't know why my friend would say that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I had a joke that I used to do, it's on my making that fudge album about dogs, about the difference of dogs growing up versus dogs now. And I love that joke, but it all of a sudden, it just hit a place where that joke would not go well anymore. Like people were not into that anymore.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause there wasn't too much into. Well, it was a longer bit of just about how, you know, how we raise dogs versus how people raise dogs now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean that's like, what's the fish thinks gonna happen here?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh yeaah. I just think like he had two birds almost fly to their death. I mean apparently they lived and they were probably like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But the, uh, the goldfish jumps out. I had a pet frog for a little while that I, you know, I caught a bunch of tadpoles and it came, it turned into a frog and it jumped out. And I found it under like the rug in the kitchen. It was all smushed up and like hard by this point. Like we lost it for a long time. And you find it just like a real hard. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, that's, yeah, I thought every time you pick it up, you go, hello? Okay. Cause this is a four-caller ID. So you would go.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, I like that the brother lived across town, and he couldn't, or the son, and he couldn't just go.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you opened up- You get their wings clipped. That's what you always do to them to keep them from flying away. What is that frowned upon?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I would think so. I would think having them at all would be frowned upon.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I looked up ways to get cats to go away and it never would go away.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then my mom came up for a visit. They started, her and her friends started petting the cat. They were like, oh, it's such a beautiful cat. He loves your house. So me and Hannah, we were like, you know what?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We're gonna adopt the cat. So we went, we went to PetSmart or whatever and we bought, uh, some cat litter and some food and we were like, oh, we were like, we're cat owners now. And the cat came in, we were petting it. And then the next day, uh, it,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Jumped up, knocked over all my potted plants, broke them all over the floor everywhere. And then I let the cat out and then it killed a bird and ate the bird all but one foot. And it just completely ate the bird, my birds that I feed. And so I loaded it up in a cage and I took it to my dad.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I like them. I like to see them. Me and Joe Zimmerman appreciate Burt's.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I love that your mom just was like, it's about to die.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I had a snake the other day, I lifted my garage door and there was a little snake there and then it ran, well, it slithered into my garage.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I freaked out. I was able to get a picture and I sent it to Jesse Rothacker and he was able to tell me that it was.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A garter snake and that it was fine. So it, it eased my mind a little bit, but I never found it. I don't know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Chow-chow. That sounds like a chow like the dog.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, they were really cool. I remember like there was some movie that I was watching and at the beginning of the movie they were having like these animal fights and they had a ferret versus a snake or something and everybody would say that a ferret could kill a snake.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We got there. Maybe it was a mongoose, but we always thought that it was a ferret that could kill a snake.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They say pets are the new kids and plants are the new pets. That's what people say. Who says that? That's an expression now, not an expression, but just because people are not having a lot of kids. Like we're not even really having enough kids to like replenish. Yeah. Yeah. So.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. So everybody, you know, cause everybody has pets. Like I was in Chattanooga one time, which I'll be going there on Friday, but I was in Chattanooga and they have a dog park.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Um, and it's just like, it really is like young people like they would be out with their kids, but they're out with their dogs at brunch playing the music real loud. The dogs probably hate it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, I agree that we'll go to that place too, but I do think that, I mean, I'm gonna stick with the Mary and the dog. Okay. Okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I opened for John Lovitz a few times. Very nice guy. I always liked him a lot. And, uh, one...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, to a sushi restaurant and it would be me, John Lovett, uh, the manager of the club.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And John Lovitz dog and John Lovitz and his dog would sit on one side of the booth and he and the manager would sit on the other side and John Lovitz would order his dog a bowl of chicken.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, which it's, you know, it's fine. It's great. I'm not. What kind of restaurant you're in? It was a sushi restaurant and I wasn't, I'm not mad at John Lovitz for doing it. I mean, he loved his dog, but I just always thought it was really funny just to


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] For one thing, just to be sitting across the table from John Lovitz was fun to me, but John, he had his dog there and, uh, and, uh, it was, yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm also, yeah, I mean, yeah, you could definitely bring your dog if you want, but I.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If I were like on tour with somebody and they brought that I'd be like, Oh man, I wish the dog was not here. But if you, I mean, it is your tour, right? So if you want to bring a dog, you're definitely welcome to bring a dog. And if I were on that, I would not say, ah,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. Yeah. You need the dog and a person to tend to the dog. Yeah. Chase. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah, lens on my arm, I let it go at night.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I, you know, when you talk about that, like a dog out in a farm and all that sort of stuff, I mean, and by the fire, I mean, like, and then the dog not giving you any, like just being happy to see, I mean, that all sounds great. I mean, I love that, but I just feel like our lives are.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In such a way now to where it's like, you know, you live in the suburbs, you have a dog and it's like, anytime you want to go out of town, you got to figure out some dog situation.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I just say I, I knew some people like back when I was drinking that, that, you know, they would have dogs and they would have to, I knew a girl specifically, she had like this hunting dog. It was a very nice dog.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My buddy used to have a, I lived on Folly Beach for a while. My buddy used to have like this Great Dane and it was really fun. We would get on like a longboard skateboard and like hold the leash of the dog and the dog could pull us down the street on the skateboard. That was a lot of fun. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But it's like, it wasn't my dog, right? So it's like, I got to do that and then go, you know, you take care of the dog.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know, an arm is tough to lose. That's what I'm talking about for him.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think it's what it was called. Meat was written on the side. It might have a better name, but if you see it, it'll say meat of the best brisket I've ever had. It was called open. It's so good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it is so good. I'll check it out. Uh, I'll be in, uh, Chattanooga this weekend. I think the show is very close to being sold out. I think there's only single seats available. Wow. And then on Saturday I'll be in Bowling Green at the Skypac.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Which I am, uh, I don't believe I'm close to selling that one out, but it is a much larger theater. So like 1600 seats. So I've never done a show in Bowling Green.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, daycares are closed on Labor Day, so it's more work for us.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You say turn the air down? That means it would blow less.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But would you not say it air down navel? But some people get confused. That means turn the air down means to blow less so it would make the temperature.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You tell someone to cut it out, but you don't usually tell someone to cut it on.


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[Assistant] It was in the ocean. All meat's kinda gross if you think about what you're eating.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Again, it just gets worse as it goes. Sounds like a comic from the 80's. Salmonella.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was a lot better when I ripped up, I'm getting something these boys never heard of.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, if I go there, I'm going to lounge. It's a beautiful place. How was Wisconsin? Skyline Comedy Club. Skyline Comedy Club was there. Appleton. Saturday. Two shows. Was great. Uhm, a lot of folks came out. Uhm, just a lot of fun.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Friday night I did my fantasy football draft and 28th year in this league. Were you gone?


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[Assistant] No, I left Saturday morning. Yeah, so I was here for it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] 1995, my first year at Channel 5. We started a fantasy football league and it's still going. Wow.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, it's gotta be one of the oldest leagues. Wow. Still going continuously.


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[Assistant] I share a team. I would, yeah, me and my buddy, we co-own a team together. Okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I have fun with, cause we're all busy, so me and my buddy would do it. Right. It's fun.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't want to talk about it. It's not as many as I should for 28 years. I'm like the Jets. I've won one. Got to the championship a couple of times. I choked, but you know, it's still fun. Y'all do it online.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, we've talked about that before. When we started, it was totally, but we still have very old school basic rules because when we started, we had to go to the newspaper and look up the scores. So we basically just do touchdowns. We keep it simple.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay. So we do do some yardage stuff like that, but our scores are much lower than say what the average fantasy football.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's a similar situation going on this year with Jonathan Taylor. He plays for the Colts. He was the number one pick in a lot of fantasy drafts last year. And now he's wanting to trade and, uh, you know, he may sit out. So, um, he could sit out the whole year. Who knows?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What's the difference between a rock and a stone?


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[Assistant] He met Gene Hackman in a video. And they were in there. Yeah. Wow. That's crazy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, that's a good point. You guys are making some valid points here. I can't argue with anything you're saying. You know what?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, we're on a trend here now, but Leanne and I have stopped at a mini waffle house on the road. Don't bring your own cups, but we've had, like I said, some hormone conversations.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, I wish I'd have kept the more of the joke in there. Cause at the end I say, some of y'all probably don't like this, but come Monday.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It'll be alright. I just know the Jimmy Buffett reference, but, uh, but yeah, it's got a lot of little traction for me. What was the joke?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So Jimmy Buffett died Saturday and, uh, I said, there's already people speculating on this cause of death. And, um, some people say there's a woman to blame.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's from Margaritaville. And that's the joke. And then I was like, but I think we know it's nobody's fault. You gotta know the song to get it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, we were on a roll for a while. Now I'm back to no tea. No, no, that was good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. Went to number one on iTunes. Yeah, he did good. That's pretty cool.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So it's year round, that fifth season is year round then, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was about to wonder, is it five specific serials that you can tell? Do you know?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, there's a lot of Paul M. Mueller's that write in. Right.


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[Assistant] Take a quick shower than sitting over a two hour movie.


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[Assistant] I cried the day my daughter was born. I didn't cry over a two hour movie.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, he's referencing when I said last week, Dusty, I said that sometimes I have to, if I'm watching my daughter alone, I'll have to take her to the bathroom with me if I got to go and put her in there to make sure she doesn't hurt herself.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If she's strapped in somewhere, but if she's in the bathroom with me, she doesn't complain. That's my point. I'm like, wow.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm not buying with yourself. So this weekend, I did two shows Saturday night. The first show I did that, uh, Jimmy Buffett joke and it went pretty well for these days on myself. Show two, a little bit smaller crowd and I said, did you guys hear Jimmy Buffett died today? And they're like, what? No. So I broke the news to them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then as more I got into more, they don't even know who Jimmy Buffett is. It was a young crowd. I thought they were talking about Warren Buffett.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I pivoted on that joke because it doesn't work so well when you don't even really know who Jimmy Buffett is.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That wouldn't be a thing. At least places like coffee shops.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Football season is here and we all have busy schedules, so if we want to go to a game, sometimes we'll get in town just in time for a kickoff. That's true.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Day of the event at least, so that's why we don't get stressed because we use Game Time, the Game Time app. It's a great process on last minute tickets and flash deals.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Game time is the fast and easy way to buy tickets for all sports, music, theater, and of course, comedy near you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We like the game time app because they make it so easy to see the seat view right there in the app. It's very quick and simple to use.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're the only ticket sales app that I know of that offers lowest price guarantee.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Event cancellation protection, that's nice. And job loss protection.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The game time guarantee means you'll always get the best price. If you find tickets in the same section in a row for less, game time will credit you 110% of the difference. How about that? Snag the tickets without the stress with game time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Download the game time app and create an account and use code Nate for $20 off your first purchase. Terms apply.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Again, create an account and redeem Code Nate for $20 off.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Download Game Time today. Last minute tickets. Lowest price. Guaranteed.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright. And I was thinking like, there's so many traditions in football, like the Gatorade Bath and stuff like that. It's just changed. What is it for, like, comedy has been pretty much the same since the beginning. Stand-up comedy, as far as traditions or trends or changes. I can't even think of anything like... What's even one tradition? For stand-up? Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I guess I was thinking, it's not a tradition, but now so many comics do crowd work. That's a new trend. Yeah, there's trends. That's social media trends mostly.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think college football has a little bit more of that than pro. I mean, that example happens both, but college football is a little bit more of the band on the field.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Maybe rush the field when you shouldn't have? Like, it's kinda like the Gatorade bath, like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, uh, that's a Tennessee game, right? Yep. Yep. And, uh, there's us on the sidelines here.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I do remember Wesley Tate, I don't know if that was when he was there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was going to ask you, who's the best player you ever played with?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's, uh, that's at the college football hall of fame in Atlanta and.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't, I don't know, I'd have to think about it. The best player from Vandy that


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I thought would be for sure a star in the pros was, uh, Jay Cohen.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I mean, he was, but the guy that didn't, wasn't as great that I thought he was going to be was Jordan Matthews, wide receiver for Vandy. And he was, yeah, he's a fan of the podcast.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How much money Johnny Menzel could have made in college, if you, now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Who's the most famous person to come out of Notre Dame? Regis Philbin, maybe.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, it appears that, uh, Vanderbilt, again, I said this last week, I'll say it again, Vanderbilt, Notre Dame are headed for a collision with a college football player.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Vanderbilt can be 7-0 before he gets to Georgia. I just don't see how anybody's going to beat us. I don't know what Notre Dame schedule, but it's headed for a showdown, both 2-0.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You kinda gotta get into it. Alright. I'll share just a couple of facts here. So football started in the 1800s.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Harvard was the first American school to play it. Walter Camp is known as the father of American football. He brought in a lot of the inventions like line of scrimmage.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I believe he was the coach at Georgia Tech when they beat Cumberland 222 to nothing. Oh, right. Biggest blowout in college football history.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Walter Camp's the closest to an inventor, but there's not one clear. They kind of took it from rugby.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And just kinda. Okay. Change the rules a little bit. Maybe they said that much earlier.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When did you think of that point? When you were kind of on that last part of the round. Maybe I should clarify. We're now talking about John Naismith. So Dusty, why don't you tell us about AG1? James Naismith.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So in 1905, 19 players died in the college football field. So President Roosevelt said,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. He's like, you gotta come up with something to make it less violent. So they, they made it the Ford Pass, uh, legal thing. What was it just back?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So the, back then the Ford pass fell in complete. It was a turnover. Wow. So it was pretty risky. I like that. I like that rule. Now, Notre Dame did perfect the Ford pass. They're the first team that became a pass first run, second team.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So there's a limit on how many challenges a coach can have.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Why should it be your fault if the ref keeps screwing up that there's a limit on how many times you can challenge it?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause you do lose a time out if you're wrong. So there is some penalty that you incur.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, one other rule that I would change. When the, if someone fumbles the ball out of bounds, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Then the, you, the ball, you keep the ball right there where it goes out of bounds, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So if you fumble at the one inch line, you still get the ball on the one inch line.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it goes in the end zone, it goes out of bounds. Other team gets it. How many times do you see this happen?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, it happens every year. That's not like it never happened. It's not like a perfect game in baseball. There's a few times a year that teams fumble and then it's a touchback.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think the goalpost should be moved back to the inline.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, uh, the only reason they finally pushed it back is because there were so many fill goals. They were like, we gotta try and encourage people to score more touchdowns.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is a funny story. Transmitters and helmets. So, it, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It started in the NFL officially in 1994, but back in the 50s, Paul Brown, who was coach of the Browns, uhm.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He experimented on his own and started putting a radio transmitter net in his quarterbacks helmet.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then people started noticing that they're not calling in signals anymore, that you know, somehow the, the quarterback's getting it, so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So he started doing it on his own. And what year is that? I think this was in the fifties. Wow.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, he finally just admitted he was doing it. They're getting ready to play the Giants at Yankee Stadium. And he warned, cause they were trying to jam his signals. These other teams were. If you do that, it's an FCC violation, $10,000 fine.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think he just told them that, just tried to warn them. So the Giants said, alright, they didn't gem it, they just found a way to listen in.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They do it now, right? Yeah, since 1994, the NFL's.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And isn't there a gown defense that also has it? I'm sure they're all talking.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I thought it was just like the quarterback and like maybe the middle linebacker who's calling the defensive plays or something.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So that started in the 1960s, a guy named Homer Jones scored a touchdown. He was about to throw the ball in the stands, which was, I guess, tradition back then. But then he remembered that commissioner Pete Rosell recently banned that. So the last minute he tried to stop himself and the ball went into the ground and he, uh, people liked it. Dusty, go control your baby. And, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Anyway, that's how the spike started. And people liked it. Yea, people liked it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] For a while they didn't fail, I think they, it was the no fun league, and they outlawed any celebration.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So the cheesehead started when a guy was cutting up his mom's couch. He took the foam, made a hat out of it, wore it to a brewer's game.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, player for the Brewers, Rick Manning saw it, wore it in the dugout just for fun. Became this big novelty. The guy eventually.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, I didn't want to show real fast before we go the fantasy football, Nate Lanfancy Football League.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, I'm sorry. I feel bad. I think there's two naked land leagues.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Bill Davis, okay. September 23rd, uh, he didn't write anything down.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, September 23rd, Jasper, Indiana. September 30th, Millington, Ohio. October 1st at Helium Comedy Club in Philadelphia.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Today's episode of the Nate land podcast has brought you by indeed AG1, Ibotta and Vior.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And hey koala, that was my thought of that over in Australia. Welcome to the Nate land podcast. It's nice to be back. Uh, Brian Bates here in Weber, dusty sleigh. Uh, yeah, we're back. Got my crocodile hunter shirt on.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I had to get it with the, this is like the actual one that Steve Irwin and that's what they wear.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I went to the, yeah, I went to the zoo, uh, the Irwin zoo and, uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was, you know, like Steve Irwin was a lot more...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Impactful, I think, on my life that I might have even realized. Cause they were showing clips of it, like, during one of the things, and I've seen every clip.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I was like, trying to think, I was like, man, what, how old was I when this show was on? I mean, I wasn't a kid, it was probably 2000, I think he died in 2006, so, uh, but probably 2003, right when I started comedy, I was probably 17, 18, like watching, but I watched this show.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was an animal planet? Yeaah. I mean I was...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh man. I watched, I didn't realize it until we were sitting. He has, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This like coliseum where they, uh, it's all surrounded.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, uh, in the middle is like, you know, water and some land, you know, they have birds flying and a crocodile comes in. And, uh, he said they built it, him and Russell Crowe were, uh, friends.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And he went and saw 300 and saw the Coliseum and was like, we should do something like that. Like at the, you know, and then everybody's watching us get with this crocodile or whatever. And so he did build it. Gladiator? Yea, gladiator.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, but he saw Gladiator. Yeah. With Russell Crowe. And uh, so that's what inspired him to make that. And then he did it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, his, like, uh, he, he built an animal hospital too there, uh, that his mom wanted. I mean, his, when his parents, they, they started the zoo, like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Whippersnippers? Whippersnippers. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. Because it looks like a whippersnipper.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, I don't know. I didn't get that far, but they call that a whipper, a weed whacker is a whipper snipper. Whipper snipper. I like that. I call it a weed eater. That's what we always call it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I'd say whoever finds it. Use something like if the guy hits it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, you should have you in there as a kind of a court of law. Yeah. That just kind of read the room and goes, I ain't buying this. Yeah. I'm whippersnapping because where were you snipping? Where were you whippersnapping? Yeah. He goes over, uh, you know, under the golly lag. I ran over it because it happens.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They go, we're going to put another show on it. Then you just walk out, you just hear


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They are. They have, uh, that's our tur- our animal's a turtle, right? Our reptile. Tennessee box turtle. Is it?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it was, uh, yeah, I held, uh, we got to hold a koala.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, uh, it's illegal to do that there, but you can do it only basically at that zoo.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause it's like gotta be, like it's regulated in sports. But I'll tell you what, they, it smelled awful.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Clean it up. No, a koala bear. Yeah, this is the, this is the, uh. That is a leap.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We're not talking about Louisville, Aaron. Where my whole family's from.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're, uh, they're all here, actually. All Louisville's here. Oh, really? Yeah. They're, uh, my cousin Chris, uh, got married and then so Tuesday's here and my aunt Cindy and all of them. My aunt Cindy says, uh, instead of toilet, she says, toilet.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because we say war- I know- didn't y'all talk about that? Warsh. Warsh. My whole family says Warsh. Wow. My- my parents do from Louisville, Warsh and our- Apparently- I'm gonna take a shower.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But the koala, it was, uh, yeah, it was the male and it just like, it was like BO. I mean, it was insane. I held it for a minute and I was like, I can't even do it. It was, uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like Seinfeld's, the valet, the car. I mean, I couldn't even handle it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I, and all I thought about the rest of the, I mean it was awesome getting to do it. But I'm being honest, the rest of the day I just thought, I can't wait to, I gotta go wash this jacket. Like I, it, it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I can't be wearing this jacket, because you just smelt it on.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, uh, like he was, it was, I don't know, like mating season or there's a reason they do that. It works in their world, but I'm saying as a visitor holding it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It didn't make you attractive to them. I'm saying if you ever run across a chance, I don't think you have a choice. You gotta hold what you hold, but if they go, you want a male or female, I'd ask for them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I find out what summer, what, you know, what month it is. Yeaah. Like, where are they at?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, but it was, uh. Do you have a picture of you holding it? I do. I have a bunch of pictures. I don't, uh, have my, oh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think that's kangaroos. Yea kangaroos are everywhere. Do you see a bunch of kangaroos? No.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That was a lot of kangaroo roadkill. I think about trying to do it as a joke though is the only thing, but it's like an idea of the joke is like, it's just, it's pretty crazy to see you're used to deer.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But to see a kangaroo, like that's, that's would be, we have them in a zoo. Like it'd be a luxury to see one and it just hit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, the whole experience, let me see if I can, I have the quality, uh, Rhino.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, what do I do? I just, you can air drop it to me. Yeah. Oh yeah. Uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's, uh. It's got some claws there. Yeah. Yeah, they're very sweet.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Porcupine. Porcupine, kinda, you gotta, you can pet it the other way, it was eaten. This was right when we got there, they had this set up. I mean out of the gate, we were...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. And when you pet them, I mean, I don't know if there's the worth of petting them is not enough to, you know, when you pet it, it's, it's what you think. Yeah. It's like petting Velcro. You know, you just like go, it's like you just rub Velcro and you're like, all right.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, that's like just the front of the zoo. So like when I saw it, it was, I mean, it was just so crazy. He's got the shirt like, you know, I bought it, I load it up. Yeah. Uh, it was, he's just, I'm just a giant fan of that. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was a giant fan of that show, giant fan, like it's a very family thing, uh, and it just, and everybody that works there is.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, they love it. Uh, which I would say a lot of zoos when you go to it, the people that work there, you have to obviously love it. Cause I, you know, you think you're just with these animals, but it's, you gotta really love that world or you're going to be driven crazy. Uh, but it was.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was pretty special to go there. I mean, it was crazy to be there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause I, I, I mean I really watch this show a lot. I'm a giant fan. So we didn't, Derwins weren't there when we were there. It's, they were like, uh, uh, they go do something, uh, in August. I feel like it's crocodile related.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're, they're the family that you think they are. Like, you know, they're in, they're in it, they're...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're there. I think if you're, you know, if they're there, you, you're probably going to see them. Robert the son, cause it's kind of his zoo, I think now, but like you're, you're, you're going to see them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, and he's got the same enthusiasm his dad had, like, you know. And you talk about it, you know him. But it was like, I watched the show, I mean, I watched the show, like, it was, I mean, I loved, I loved Crocodile Hunter. Uh, it was, yeah, the whole thing was great.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So the trip was great. Let's move on. Uh, yeah, I loved every, uh, all Australia, dude. I'll tell you, it's, uh, and New Zealand, the crowds were great.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I got a few Hey Bears, which is very cool to hear. Uh, you're on another planet, Phil. You're so far away from, you're, it was almost a nice break.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause no one can really, uh, get a hold of you. Cause you're just so, your hours are so messed up. So I would, when I wake up, I'd be calling, cause Harper and Laura were with me for the first eight days. And then they came home because she had school. And, uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So then, uh, I would call them, like I would be going, I'd be waking up and they'd be like, all right, good night, going to bed. And then vice versa. Wow. Like I'd be, you know, I'd call her, Laura, it'd be 1230 at night. No, I'm like, all right, I'm about to go to bed. And you know, she's like, all right, good night.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Not 10 a.m. years or something. Or maybe it's 7 a.m. or 8.38. Like, I would call them that late and they'd be right when Hartford's going to school.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, you, you fly. I don't think, I think you could drive, it's, you know, it's America. So it's, it's basically, you know, when we went to Perth, it's like going New York, California. Uh, we did Sydney first, then, uh, Melbourne.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then Perth and Brisbane and then New Zealand. Uh, travel there, air travel there. It's pre-9-11 travel here. It's uh, it's awesome.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, I, I did not show my ID or passport once. Really? I love that. Not one time. Gosh, I love that. Enough that we were flying, it's, the domestic travel was, it's like, you just, you promise you have a flight? You go, yeah, I promise. And then they let you, they let you on the plane.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, like that you go there, it's like going to your, uh, you know, your uncle that then never got married. You go to his house where it's like, he's like, you want to drive the truck? And you're like, I can drive the truck. He's like, I can drive the truck. Like it's just a fun place.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, they, you know, it felt like a place where people love their, they love their country. They love.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, I really, really loved it. I really did. And you go such a far away, I did not mind the flight as much.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it's just, I mean, you're just out there, dude. I mean, you're so, in the New Zealand, when you go there, you're just, you're even farther. Your New Zealand is the first


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, like Auckland, I think is the first major city that sees the sunrise. So you're just like, you see the sun, you're like, you're, you know, I see it. I can give you, let you know how it's going.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, if you go to one, I would probably go to the other. Yeah. Yeah. I wouldn't just pick.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'd go to both. I mean, I hope to go back, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was, yeaah, I mean the travel, I had someone...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, like, they make you sign an autogra- someone has a picture that makes you sign an autograph. So I'm walking to my plane in- and like, I didn't get recognized- I got recognized a couple times by Americans.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, you know, but we had a lot of people at the show and stuff like that, but it's not like anything crazy. And, uh, but there was a guy sitting at my gate.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When I'm walking to get on the plane and I had to sign a, he had like a big glossy thing and I'm like, how is he at the gate? You know, did he buy, like you'd have to buy a ticket.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And you're like, well, this guy didn't buy a ticket. Then I'm thinking, I'm like, well, I'm not even showing my ticket. I'm just going, so it is, it is truly flying.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, the old days where you could just any, like you could go have lunch at the airport. You just got to go through security.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, yeah, yeah. But then after that, after that it's, you pop around. I mean, where the travel, so it's just so much easier. You can just kind of go later and you know, it's, it's really like, you know, your days of flying.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I liked it a lot too. Went to Perth, got my hair cut in Perth. Uh, Soulsby, I believe is the guy's name, uh, or shop. And, uh, he was very nice and reached out to us. And so we needed a hair, you know, you're, you're, we're gone for 18 days. Uh, so, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Perth, we didn't really get to spend much time. That's supposed to be that rottenness island is supposed to be crazy. Perth, we did not get to spend much time because we were really only there for a day. But that's the most isolated city in the world.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wow. And it's, uh, cause there's just nothing in the middle of all this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think it was like a three and a half hour flight, four hour flight, and then...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, you know, New Zealand, so they're big. We went to World Cup game, uh, Australia versus Canada. Australia won easily. It was very fun. Harper got to go and Australia versus Canada. And, uh, so I was like, we've ever wanted to beat someone. I got to what I'm rooting for Australia. Yeah, you know, it's


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, but it was, uh, Australia and Australia is still in it. Uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Which would be awesome if they won, just cause it's the home. It's where they're doing it. And, uh, but yeah, getting to go to World Cup games was.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They said that was great, uh, rode bikes. I like Melbourne and Brisbane a lot.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I like Sydney. Sydney's, Sydney's like New York. So it's, it's, you kinda, you're in it when you're there. It's beautiful though. But Melbourne and Brisbane were, I really, I really enjoyed those cities. They look, they're very pretty.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, in New Zealand, my one joke that I said, there's a New Zealand joke, uh, so they have a rugby team and the name is, uh, All Blacks. And I said, just, I was like, just give y'all a little reference. Y'all come to America and someone says,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think, alright, what about basketball? You're like, well that's the tall blacks. That's the name of the basketball team, the tall blacks. Wow. That's the real name. Yeah. Wow. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then they have the little league is called the small blacks and that's, and that's, that's their names.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it's, and they, they have a store, they have a store in the airport. You could have bought an all black shirt. I actually liked the name and they wear all black and like, yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But it was, uh. What was the weather like? Uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] 55, 60, not bad. It's their winner. Yeah. So it was, we, we golfed, uh, I got some hats, so aware for golf. Uh, we got the realm Royal Melbourne. That was probably the most windy day. It's a, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, Royal Queensland, we golfed that, and then, uh, Tiaraya. Tiaraya.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, it's, you know, it's so crazy. Like you're just sitting there and it's just, you, you just feel so far away. You go cause New Zealand to, uh, Sydney, cause we had to take that flight to come home. That's.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, I want to say it was like three hour flight. Wow. So you're in an airplane for three hours. That's how far New Zealand is from Australia.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's already far away from everything. I mean, you're down there. When you're there, the people that are from Australia, you're from, I mean, you're, you're over there, dude.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Territories. Territories. Okay. State or territory. Okay. They have those. And they all come from places.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Australia, uh, somewhat new, New Zealand's a new country. I think it was like 1840. Wow. I found a lot of stuff. I remember I was trying to do jokes, so I was, I was kind of, but, uh, New Zealand is, you know, pretty new, pretty crazy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It just seems like such a beautiful place. Yeah, 1840. I mean, it says like, yeah, there's people that obviously people before whatever, but it was became a country, uh, in 1840.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We'll have to get one first, right? Uh, yeah, it was, uh, so a lot of birds. Joe's a big bird watcher. Yeah. So he saw, I think 67 something new birds. Wow. Crazy. Uh, yeah. I mean, cause if you're a bird watcher.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I mean, I would have seen 40 something if I would have, you know, if I cared, I would have had...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, I, I mean, I tried, we did it cause it's like, you know, it's, I don't mind doing something when someone is very into it. Yeah, it's fun. All right. We're, I'll, I'll get into this. Uh, but I got into it as much as I could get it. You know, I mean, you, you can tell you my love is not the same as Joe's love for it. There's a lot of them you go, all right.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, and I mean, it's, it's bigger than this table. Wow. It's enormous. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, but they have a bird that's, so they brought the hasteagle, but then there's another bird that's, that's still around that's bigger than that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I know how to do uh, I know how to do Celsius too now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. You're going to stick to it. Give me a Celsius number and zero. Well, that's 32, but give me, that's 32. 20. 20 is about 70. So you go 20 times two is 40. Then you add 30, 70.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh yeah. Cause 20 is 70. Yeah. So I guess you would just kind of know 20 is 70 and then I'll just play around from there. Is what?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They go, it's brutal today. It's dirty going out. You come up, bring a jacket, bring a big coat. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause that could happen. You could show up, but it's 90. You told me it was 30 and you brought only winter clothes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Someone they don't, I bet it does too. They go, they just, someone's going to visit, you know, someone's from Alabama. That's like, I don't know. My cousin married a girl from Canada, which is basically marrying someone from Mars to an Opalaka. That's true.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so then your family's got to go up there to the wedding and they go, now, you know, it's going to be 30 all week. And they go.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So then they go buy stuff at Bass Pro Shop to spend easy $200 to go to this wedding. And they get there and they can use none of it. Cause it's, it's 90 degrees. 86. 86. Yeah. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That is true. Yeah, she's official. Yeah. Congrats. Yeah. That's awesome. So. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's a, it's a cool city though. But yeah, I mean, it is, you're out there. I, you know, when you think about where you would go, uh, if, you know, like say this, uh, you know, you ever think about like, if I, if you left this America, what country, I don't know where I would want to go. Australia could be very up there. Cause you're just.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're on, you're, you're, you're on your own. You're way out there. Yeah. You know?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They still speak English. They speak English. Pretty, pretty important. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It was, uh, yeah, I, I, I love the whole, I'm a giant fan.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's one of the best places I've ever been to. Like I, like where you're like, oh, I could stay. And you're, we're there so long. I mean, you get.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're just like, you know, you're in your own world and then next year, like gotta come home and you're like, you gotta get back into, I mean, I wanna come home, but you're just like, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When we were out there with our, when Laura and Harper were out there, it's like, you're just out there and like, you can't, you really can't talk to anybody. You just kind of, we had tours set up and we went and saw a bunch of stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So everybody that's listening can see. Uh, yea, we'll have to explain them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, bird watching, loves it. Chase, that's Chase. Chase is binoculars backwards. Yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's the, he's the, he's seen 600 and like 57 birds. Does Joe wear glasses?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So there's a thing that you kind of, you kind of pull them out a little bit. Like there should be, like at the eye part, you kind of pull it out a little bit. Oh, okay. Maybe I need that. So there's this at the world cup game. Oh yeah. Very fun.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I'm kind of guessing. Uh, and then that's one of the few plays I performed. Yeah, it's a cool theater. Yeah, it was very cool. Uh, where was that? Melbourne or Brisbane?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was Melbourne. Melbourne. Cause I saw Arge Barker. Arge Barker, a very funny comedian. I saw, that's the guy, as I just showed him, Solsby, that he, uh, cut our hair. Very cool guy. Fan of the podcast. Fan of, uh. And now he helps you with your diet. Helps me with my diet.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, so yeah, uh, Arch Barker, um, this, did you see this? I posted this on my stories, this elevator, this hotel we stayed at, the Emporium. Now, uh, look at the elevator. Like when you go in, I was amazed by this. Every, wow. Yeah. How fun is that?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah. And they would have different ones. They had, well they had a shark.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, maybe Australia is like, this is a normal, you know, some plaque of the, they do it all day long. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't, I wonder how much do they check elevators?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's a sign in all of them that has a date on it. Yeah. Someone signs it. You're like, what are you, what are you, how do you check an elevator? They ride in it and they go.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think every place should maybe have an elevator guy at their place. Teach one of the guys there, some elevator.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's what he says. He's stuck in there too. He goes, I'll tell you what, but this is the 15th time I've been stuck in this elevator. And I go, and you're their elevator guy? He's real small talk and relaxed. Nah, I'll be fine. Someone come get us. I've been, I've been in this situation many times.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I wonder if you are an elevator fixer, if you have to...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Get stuck in one, like do they have like a school where it's just a bunch of elevators?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, you know, like those firemen that run up the obstacle course, they had the elevators where it's like, you got to fix an elevator and it's just going, can you fix it before it hits the bottom?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then we go to Disney World, ride the terror of tower, tower of terror, whatever that is. And then an elevator guy goes, this would never happen.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That maybe wouldn't be fun to ride with. Cause you go, we're about to hit the drop and he goes, it would never drop like this. And that's right. That's the last thing he says before you drop on the tower of terror. This is fake. Yeah. I'm an elevator guy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So Arge, uh, Arge Barker, he's, he's huge in Australia and, uh, Melbourne, just a wonderful person. I saw Arge, I mean, I haven't seen him in 15 years. Who's Arge Barker?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. Okay. Very funny. Great dude. And I saw James, uh, yeah. And I saw James Smith, uh, who's from Australia and me and him, my first video I have on YouTube, I believe it's the first one is, uh, I'm at rascals, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm at Rascals in New Jersey. It's his club that closed down. And so it's the first video I posted ever of my standup. And, uh, it was me and this guy, James Smith. Uh, and I saw James there. James had, he, he, he blessed started.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He had cancer and he had to go home and, uh, but he was in good spirits and seemed to be doing good and I've seen him a long time, but I mean, I started with that guy. And, uh, so it was pretty, I was glad to like get to see him. He came out to the show and.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, Sydney, I think. Yeah. And, uh, but it was cool. Yeah, it was, it was very fun. And, uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I mean, they're, you know, they're kind of, they would keep telling me comics over there. I knew Arge and I knew them. And then, uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But they'd say, but you know this guy? Like I don't know. And it's like their guy, whoever the Australian's guy is and he's like enormous over there. Uh, but a lot of, a lot of American comics going over there now. Tim Dillon, I saw his sign for him coming up in October over there and


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, I think Andrew Schultz just announced the thing. So a lot of comics are going over there and they got a good, uh, you know, the crowds are great.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, they got a good scene. Uh, I believe it seems like they can get up a lot. I met two comics, two guys that are open on the show. We're moving to New York and, uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, uh, they were going to Oxford and moving to New York, but it's, it seems like it's opening up like it's, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And everybody's been going to Australia, they have a Just For Last festival. Everybody has been going, but it's like, you know, you're selling tickets over there and people are actually going over there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He was great. Yeah. He's pretty funny.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. All right. He's very funny. Yeah, he was great. And so, yeah, we saw him in New Zealand. He's from Wellington, New Zealand. And, uh, was super nice and super funny. And, uh, New Zealand, we were only there for three nights, but it was, it was, it was pretty special.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. They already had a hearty. You know what though? Yeah. Yeah. You can't have two hearties.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yea, I mean, I don't know how friendly would he, he wanted her to be.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That guy was one of our biggest, biggest mailers. Yeah. For a long time. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You could go there and solve people's problems because people always have a problem when they go to mail. I mean, there's always, you don't know what to do. Oh yeah. And so you could go and you think you could sit there and help? I could help.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What if you did go and you're one of the people on the outside? Cause I think they.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm going to get on somewhat at least prepared before they get to.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And first you'd be like, well, that's crazy that you're mad that I'm asking for tape. But now you're the person that you'd be like, I'm like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Maybe that's why someone does want the tape though, cause they go, well I am paying for this tape.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's a corporate, he's a corporate guy. So he's like, I want to get out of the corporate world. Yeah. Let loose. Yeah. Let them know what I really think.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, no, not a chance. Yeah, that's great. That's crazy. That's pretty awesome.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What if it was your voice? If he heard sorry, you say sorry and your voice is in his ear.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Pretty crazy. Yeah, that's gotta be one that you're like, well, I have to tell this person that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But people don't remember anybody, like that's like when I do, I saw you on Jimmy Kimmel. I've never been on Jimmy Kimmel.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] All the time, people go, that's why I own Kimmel or Colbert. They just say everything. The only things I've never been on. Cause it doesn't really matter. I mean, that's my last specials. Like, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, well, sorry, it's like, they don't really, they either were all on Netflix or they were all on Amazon or they were all, like, people just...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Timestamp when you take a picture.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're the, you're, yeah, you could show the newspaper. You look like a guy that would be walking ahead of your, the next day's newspaper. And then, uh, yeah, I always take a picture because in the time, then you go, I got a picture and they're going to be like, yeah. You could probably do E, but they got you, but they're going to see the date if they really want to look into it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I agree. That's the thing. That's what, yeah, rental cars do that. Rental companies. Cause you're like, where are you getting this gas?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You can pay the best, you can prepay and you get a better price on the gas. Well, that's what they were. But then you gotta make sure you're gonna be timing this thing out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You gotta, I mean, you want to be rolling in, pushing it, driving around the airport. I've had some, yeah, I've had some good ones. I've had some bad ones and some good ones. And I've had a couple where I did it and then you're like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What was I thinking? Like you're just like, I barely used gas. Yeah. And then I've had some where, I mean, I, like, I even had to fill it up. Like you put like $3 in it just to, I'm just trying to get to the airport. Yeah. And then you just try, just let it coast in and go, it's your, it's your problem now. Yeah. You know, but I did. Yeah. Yeah. Louisville.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean my whole Louisville family is here right now. Honestly, there's 15 Louisville people outside. I couldn't believe you'd talk like that about us.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think that's what you do as a government. Just go, just send them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, tolls are the one that you're like, what is this for? Yeah, we're lucky in Tennessee. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But if enough people were doing it, there has to be a cost. So there has to be, you know, uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like you just want some, like, there has to be a thing where they go like, all right, we got the loan paid off.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, $500,000 a year to keep it going. So we're just gonna, you know, just like, you know, it could be like we're going to do 500,000, we're going to sporadically choose or maybe it's like we do it, you know, and you got you guys that go out there and you know, one guy just like, I'll pay for it. He's just driving back and forth.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think when you rent cars, they just, it goes on the license plate and it just, they take it out of your thing. But people could get away. It's always crazy. They, when you charge that fee, it's like you get away with a lot more if you just, just take it out.


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[Assistant] Cause then people are going to be like, uh, everybody's got so much money taken out of like,


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[Assistant] You're, you got so many subscriptions or all that kind of stuff.


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[Assistant] You don't know what's getting taken out of where. Like you could be, you know, so it's like, you can just have stuff. What is that for?


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[Assistant] Yeah. And you're like, I don't know, I went to Indiana once.


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[Assistant] Uh, so, uh, some comments, uh, from you guys, uh, the, uh, appliance episode comments. Nicholas Butcher. Wow. Nicole's Butcher are all back.


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[Assistant] Uh, the appliances episode proves that the best episodes come from the most mundane topics. When Nate was trashing microwaves, Dusty was nodding along like a sermon at church. Amen. I'm confident I heard an amen off camera. All right.


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[Assistant] I had a joke, uh, I got a joke, and I guess I can say it because I don't know if it's going to stay in.


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[Assistant] Uh, cause I talk about stuff in the future, but I do think like, it's like, maybe it will.


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[Assistant] I could do it, but I, like, uh, it's just one little line. Uh, but like, saying, like, they're gonna have, like, in a hundred years, you're gonna go to a museum, and it's gonna be like a...


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[Assistant] You know, a clay person, like with staring at their microwave, but it's talking on the cell phone. Like the, and just the futures would be like, can you believe they were, they used to do that and they go, where was that though? Was that in like a second microwave house? You're like, no, no, that was like near the baby's room. And you go, what? Yeah. And like, that's what they ended up showing. Amen.


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[Assistant] Those hot water molecules inside your food are what actually heat the food around them. So putting a cup of water in your microwave while your food is warming up definitely helps.


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[Assistant] Is that uh, I didn't say it was correct. I just said, how big's your microwave that you're putting? I got sent a lot.


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[Assistant] It'd make more sense, right? Cause you'd be like, oh, okay.


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[Assistant] Food's real dry. The microwave doesn't really do anything for it.


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[Assistant] That's why you need that water. They tell you to pour a little water in the, I think that never works out when they say pour it on the food. I think every time I've done that, it doesn't, it doesn't work out. I just microwave straight up. I don't bring water into it. It is where it is.


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[Assistant] Laura likes soap talk because it tastes better, but we're just trying to get to the solution to a problem.


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[Assistant] It's pretty fast. What you have to do is you have to get the pot, you're adding all that stuff


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[Assistant] Yeah, microwave, you just pop it in. If you don't clean a microwave, you throw it away. Clean a microwave once a year. You know, you just throw it away, you don't clean it. Disposable microwave. You use it until it stops, and then you throw it away, then you get another one.


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[Assistant] No one cleans the microwave. Six years you have microwave. No way he's cleaning the microwave once a year. Maybe because Lucy's there. Now maybe there's more eyes on the microwave.


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[Assistant] So you should have said, don't bring over hardboiled eggs. Yeah, don't bring over cold hardboiled eggs. Yeah. Yeah. If you're gonna bring it, if you're like, hey, I wanna make, I wanna, I wanna do something nice. I wanna get Dusty some hardboiled eggs. Do it, let's do it. Boil it on the way. Yeah, yeah. Alright, at your house. Yeah, or in the car. On the way over. Would you be annoyed though if they just said we need to do it in your house?


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[Assistant] Turlip paper. Erin Herr, this podcast has reached a new level of entertainment for me. When Brian asked what your strategy was for loading dishwasher and you replied, plates on the bottom, cups on top. I nearly choked on my drink.


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[Assistant] Not an expert here, but I'm pretty sure that's the strategy for everyone every time for every dishwasher.


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[Assistant] Uh, Katie Smith, I've heard from several sources to stop valuables.


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[Assistant] I've heard from several sources to store valuables and the dishwasher of a hurricane is coming. The dishwasher is airtight and it will keep important documents, etc. safe if your house gets flooded.


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[Assistant] Did you see a clip of a, like a tsunami? In a film? No, like it's saying like for, if you live in a place near a tsunami, it's like this, it's a thing that you climb in and you buckle up and you close the hatch. And so when it hits, you just stay in it until it floats you to the end and then you all get out.


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[Assistant] But I mean having one of those, like you gotta be.


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[Assistant] What shows it like, it hits a car and you spin, it's like a ride. But it's gotta be, you know, when you're on that ride and you're like, just like, I don't know, you gotta feel uncomfortable. There's only four seats. Yeah. So.


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[Assistant] Well, I think you would go get in quietly. You go, I think you'd all, it's like when you're trying to leave a party early, but not, you just kind of.


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[Assistant] Yeah, everybody kind of stands up and goes, I'm going to go check on the dishwasher. And that's the secret word for.


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[Assistant] I don't know if I could be in one of those. I mean, just the claustrophobia. I mean, I know you're better than not. Yeah, that's a lot. But you would think you're like, I'm just ready to go.


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[Assistant] Yeaah, you gotta, yeaah, you gotta, you gotta close your eyes, you gotta breathe. Like, I mean, when that first time it happened to me, I didn't know I had it. And I was on the plane. And I mean, I was like, man, I'm...


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[Assistant] And I mean, it was like, I was like, just sitting there. It's like a plane that, you know, you just, I was like on the, I was in the aisle, but it was like three rows everywhere and you're just kind of paying. And then I was like.


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[Assistant] I was trying to do anything to get your mind to not think about.


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[Assistant] Yeaah. That, that, that, the window seat messes with me.


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[Assistant] After the claustrophobia thing. Yeaah. You, uh, yeaah. Cause you end up, you just go, I just want to be in the aisle. Yeaah. Be in control of what's, if I gotta get up. Cause at least, you don't want to feel, cause one trap can set off all the traps.


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[Assistant] So you're like, I'm just trying to not feel trapped. So if I'm on the aisle, I can get up. If I start feeling any, like you just kind of, I go to the bathroom, remind myself I can go walk around and do whatever I want to do. Like, but then if you're the first trap is you look over and you know, everybody's asleep and you're like.


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[Assistant] Yeah. And then the drink cart's coming and you're like, I can't even go on track. Yeah. You can spiral yourself out. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I was, someone's on a plane right now. Yeah. There's a great chance someone's more than likely this is listened to on planes and there's someone just sitting on the window right now.


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[Assistant] I think they'd say freak out. I handled the, I mean, I took something, so that helped me with my flight. I was like good.


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[Assistant] But it was, uh, yeah, when you're flying, I mean, Australia, it's like, you're, you're in there 15 hours. It's a, I mean, it's a, it's a different mindset.


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[Assistant] It is. You can't just think about just tough it out. You gotta, you gotta have a mindset of like, I live with these people and I'm going to go about my day. I'm going to watch a movie. I'm going to eat. Then I'm going to go to sleep and I'm going to wake up and then watch a movie. You can't just be like, I want this fight to be over. You gotta be like, I gotta enjoy this flight because you're on and you're just up there.


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[Assistant] And you're just flying over the ocean and that's how big you're flying over the ocean for 15 hours. 500 miles an hour, 600 miles an hour for 15 hours.


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[Assistant] And you're just over the ocean. That's all you see is just water. That's how, like that's, it's, it's, so that's how far Australia is. And that's how much ocean there is. We don't know anything about the ocean. No, we don't. That's so much ocean.


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[Assistant] Irma Zan- Zandal. Sounds like someone from Australia.


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[Assistant] Uh, an update slash correction for Brian on the most populous city in Australia. It is Melbourne, not Brisbane. Yep.


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[Assistant] Yeah, well it's like, but Jake is like, you're like, he's doesn't have a job. His dad's kind of probably going like he's not going to take over the business. Right.


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[Assistant] He doesn't need to. He's a good dude. So it's a dude that's got money that's a good dude that you're like, no dude, he's the best. He's chill, very chill. Yea, you're like, he's a fun guy. I'm gonna do, uh, Harold Holt and Bolt.


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[Assistant] But I'm going to do a Harold Holt and Bolt is what you say when you want to leave a party early in Australia. I mean.


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[Assistant] I didn't read, before reading the comment, that's Jake. That's who it is. That's, that's typically Jake. Jake to a T. Jake to a T.


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[Assistant] Yeah, they're like, they're like that. The one that, one of them just died, and it was, uh, it was Darwin, gave it to him.


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[Assistant] Wow. It was from Darwin. How big was it? Huh? How big was it? Like a huge. But I mean, that's how long they lived.


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[Assistant] But I mean, can you imagine a tortoise that's like, like a dinosaur? He was, he was at this zoo. Yeah, they're from the Galactica.


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[Assistant] How can you do a podcast on Australia without talking about the history of the Aboriginal Australians who have lived there for over 50,000 years?