[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was at, I was, I was running my Tonight Show set. Actually, this wasn't even too, this was when Louis C.K. hosted the SNL. And, uh, I was running my Tonight Show set and then Louis had to come in to run his SNL monologue. So Louis went on first and then I went on after.


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[Assistant] And so he bumped, my tonight's show is not as big as hosting SNL.


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[Assistant] Uh, I remember Seinfeld coming in. I remember Seinfeld, uh, bumping Gaff again.


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[Assistant] Cause your biggest fear when you be, like, some nights you'd be running the show.


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[Assistant] Uh, at Boston and I was like, what do I do when, you know, what if Chris Rock and Chappelle walk in to get, who do I say is going up?


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[Assistant] Who do you go, alright, rock, you're first, you're pill, you're at. Like, I was terrified of like, who, like.


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[Assistant] No, but I learned, if it's never to that level, you would get it with.


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[Assistant] You'd get it with like the Bill Burr or Patrice O'Neill walk in together or something like that kind of level.


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[Assistant] But I learned that you just let them kind of decide. So who wants to go first? And you just throw it to them and they could be like, I don't know, you go. Cause it's, you don't want to be ranking, but I thought you had to rank it. Cause you would get to that level of you could have someone sitting in the back room.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Or the back row and like he doesn't get to go on yet cause it's like a guy that has no credits and you're like.


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[Assistant] Well, this guy walked in with two TV credits, so he gets to technically go before you.


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[Assistant] So you would get to do that. Uh, what was the time before that? Oh, that was Chappelle thing. So when he bumped, so the coolest thing I saw was, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Chappelle's on stage doing a long set, right, and he kind of bumps everybody. And then David Tell. David Tell is, I think, the funniest, pound for pound, the funniest comedian that's ever lived. I would go pay to watch David Tell. He's the only comic I would go pay to go watch right now. I would pay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, and I could go watch every show. I think he's unbelievable and super funny and just doing jokes. Like it's fun jokes, not this big thing. It's not a whole, it's not weighing you down. It's not like you gotta go watch it. And it's like, great point. Like it's just straight up jokes. You're going to laugh the entire time. And, uh,


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[Assistant] So, a tell walks downstairs and Dave Chappelle sees a tell. The tell is very respected in New York. He's respected everywhere. The tell is the guy.


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[Assistant] In New York and Chappelle's on stage and he looks and sees David Tell just kind of in the back. And, uh, Chappelle goes, Oh, what's up, Dave? He's like, did you go on yet? And Attell goes, no. And Chappelle goes, all right, good night, everybody. David Tell and walked off because he was like, I'll bump everybody, but I can't, even though Chappelle's more famous than Attell.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is it been that long? I think so. But you were still, you- I've already done, yeah, I've done Conan's Night Show, I mean- You're headlining clubs. Yeah, yeah, I'm headlining clubs. You're not a nobody at this point. I don't think I, I didn't, I haven't done Netflix. That's it.


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[Assistant] Not getting, not getting moved up at all. No one's throwing me a favor being like, yeah, he gets to, he gets to go up whenever he wants to go up.


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[Assistant] What's funny is I texted, I was like texting with Mark Merritt. Yeah. Who I'm friends with. I'm not trying to just say I'm doing this stuff. These are just, I've been in comedy for 17 years, so those are my friends. But it's funny too to be like, I'm texting with Merritt.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like it just, and I texted him, I said, I just got bumped by a guy called No He Didn't. And Marin loved it. Who was white, by the way. Yeah.


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[Assistant] I've done your length of comedy now, not here. Uh huh. Yeaah.


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[Assistant] Because I knew who he know he didn't was. He walked over and he goes, look, I know it's insane.


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[Assistant] Cause he can be a little raunchy to like see the advertisement that he is performing, which it's an open mic that is unadvertised and not, not, you know, it wasn't like, no, he didn't was on the brochure, the flyer and they're like,


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[Assistant] Who's this Nate Bargetti guy? No, he didn't. That's what I'm waiting for.


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[Assistant] It's great. I got bumped or one time I remember when I was running a Conan set. And so the deal was.


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[Assistant] When you needed to run a set for late night, you could just go to comedy club and go, Hey, I just need five minutes. I got to run. I'm doing the Letterman tomorrow. And then every comedy club is like, yeah, obviously. And then they get to go up. That's the deal. That's the, that's the, that's the thing that you love about getting.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] These late night sets, you get to go walk around and do that. So when I was first doing Conan,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In New York, uh, I did that, it was the second time I think, and I was like, alright, I'm gonna go do like seven sets, I'm starting super early at like 5pm at some open mic. And I go into the open mic, I was like, okay, I'm doing Conan, uh, do you think I can go on? And the guy's like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's like, yeah, you can go on at the end, you can just sign it, sign up last. And I was like.


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[Assistant] I was like, but I know, but I'm taping Conan O'Brien tomorrow. Like, so can I just, I'm trying to do a bunch of shows tonight. Can I try to go up and the guy's like, yeah, at the end.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] At 28, we're at 8. And then I just had to leave and he wouldn't let me go up. And uh, cause it's like that guy's world, it was like.


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[Assistant] I mean, I might as well have just been like, I'm doing-


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[Assistant] I'm doing stand-up comedy on the moon. And he'd be like, all right, man, whatever. Just do that back of the line. Like it didn't, like it didn't register. Like nothing really meant to him.


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[Assistant] I always liked it. I liked being told no though. I thought it was very funny. Bill Burr had that at Ha. He talked about it on his podcast.


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[Assistant] There's a comedy club, I think on Hawn, Times Square, where they go and they hand out these fires and they lie.


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[Assistant] They're telling you like Jerry Seinfeld's on the show, Dane Cook, they just always say Dane Cook, like Bill Burr. And they, and people are like whoa. And then they go in and it's like some weird room upstairs and whatever.


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[Assistant] So they would always, they say, and they honestly say Burr is on the show. And Burr was in like New York this before the pandemic and uh, went up there and was like, can I get on? And they were like, I mean, who are, you know, who are you? And he's like, I mean, I'm Bill Burr and the guy I just don't think knew him is like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm pretty booked tonight and he's like, you know, like birth and birth sort of the garden. You're using his name as like, and he's like, all right. And then he just didn't, I don't think got up. Like it's crazy. How do you not know? He's the guy. He's the main guy now. Yeah. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, we had one conversation, I could even drive you to the spot where it's at is we're driving by our house where Laura said, how long would you do this? You know, if it wasn't going. And I just said, I was like, well, forever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, but that, yeaah, I never, I never really hit a spot where I thought I had to quit, yeaah. I never, you know, there was never a moment.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, you know, there's definitely frustrating times. I mean, there's been, I mean, plenty of frustrating times. Look, I always say people, as a comic, you either make it at 20 or 40. I don't think anybody makes it in the middle. You get a long road ahead of you, Aaron.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, Bates still got some time, also never at 50. Uh, so he is out of your window. But you're, I honestly think if you really look at everybody's success, 20 to 40, that's when people make it. They either come out of the gate, get grabbed up. You're famous.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Are you have to wait till you're 40 and you're Burr, Louie, you know, you're these, these guys that have been bat around for a long time. And, uh, so I, but I never hit that spot right equipped, but there's definitely, I mean, it was a long road. I mean, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This Netflix stuff, you gotta think, this is my first hour Netflix special. That just happened two years ago, the first, and that's the Netflix specials and the standups, the half hour. Those are the things that pushed me to the next level to where I was selling, being able to start selling out some theaters and start doing some bigger shows.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, but it's been a great, it's been 17 years. The Tonight shows all added up. It's being around. I was around. That's, that's what you gotta do. You gotta be around. You gotta be popping up. You always wanna, I remember at Comedy Clubs, you wanted to be the guy. You wanna, first you start headlining.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, you know, I mean, you gotta realize people, I don't have so much, people, comics, when you first start headlining, you can be at $1,500. Maybe $1,200, usually, for the weekend, that guy gets from, for Thursday to Sunday, $1,200, and a lot of times, you know, there's like either a comedy condo that they could stay in, or sometimes they have to pay for their own travel, their flight for sure, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I mean, you're making no money by doing this, but I mean, it's a lot of money at that time. You're like, I don't think it's $1,200. That's crazy for a gig. Uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so you're doing those shows and you're, you're, you're a guy and you're, you're just a guy there that weekend. No one's coming to see you. And then you eventually want to be the guy where they're like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When someone calls the comedy club and they're like, oh, this guy's there. And they're like, oh, you know what? I think I've heard of that guy. Cause you know how many times if you called a comedy club, you're like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, I remember that, he's the guy, remember we were watching it, like you wanna, they don't really know you. Yeah. But they do, they're like, I've seen, you're at least in the atmosphere.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And that's what you're trying to eventually get to that. So then you get to where you're selling out the whole weekend. To then theaters. And now people are there to see you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so, but like, look, that's still, I still got a long way to go, you know, uh.


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[Assistant] But yeah, it's been, I mean, it's been, it's a long, it's a long grind.


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[Assistant] I would say, I mean, first one was, that CMT was big, but Conan in the late night. That year, 2008 was my first, was my first big year. I did.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, uh, Conan, live at Gotham on Comedy Central, and Montreal Comedy Festival, New Faces. And so that was a huge year for me. That was the first like, wow.


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[Assistant] Like it was like, you thought, I mean, I thought I made it. And what's funny is like, no one realizes too, like when you get to that point, you then go back to like your, I had like a day job. Like, you know, you just do that stuff and then you go, you're not making any money. I mean, you made maybe.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Honestly, maybe $2,000 like out of those two TV things. And then the, the, uh, doing the just for laughs, Montreal cost me money. I had to pay for the something like all the, like I didn't get any money there. Uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So 2008 was the first good, good thing. And then I think when I did the Hours of the Comedy Central Special was a big deal. And I bought, uh, like a watch, like a thousand dollar watch or something. It was like crazy. Like that, you know, but it was like insane to buy something like, you know, uh,


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[Assistant] That, and uh, but that was like, I bought it for that moment, like to be like, I like to wear it.


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[Assistant] On what I'm doing and then it's also like a watch is a good thing that sits and like it's a reminder of like that was my.


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[Assistant] Full time magic, that was my comedy special. So that was, that was a big, a big career moment for me. I mean, doing all those tonight shows were big, but then I would say, you know, the stand ups and then the last special were, you know, those are the big kind of leaps.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Where, you know, you, you, you did stuff. I think this podcast is setting me back to be honest, but, uh, so this is the downfall. Jump the shark. Yeah.


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[Assistant] Yeah. So the cool events I've done, I mean, like we have a lot of them are in here, but, uh, yeah. I mean, the cool stuff is like Bonnaroo is gigantic. Being able to do Bonnaroo and being in that group. Cause you're trying to get to be like, I'm a cool, I'm cool. I did Bonnaroo 2000.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They misspelled my name on, uh, all the stuff I have from it. My name's misspelled. Uh, and maybe some of it's not cause someone, they caught it, but half of it is. Uh, so Bonnaroo was big, you know, I mean, the cool, like opening for Chris Rock, you know, when I, when I, when Fallon saw me, when I did the,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So when I, the first time I met Fallon, Fallon was at the con, at the stand. I was performing. I haven't told this story right on. So the first, how I met Fallon is, I feel like we're just dragging on. Is it, is this all good? I think it's very interesting.


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[Assistant] Uh, so, the first time, how I met Fallon, how I got into the relationship with him, we were, I was funny, I just moved to New York, 2012, I mean moved to LA.


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[Assistant] So I talked about that quote, anytime you start feeling comfortable, it's time to make a change. That was about when I read the quote, that's when I moved to LA. I was feeling comfortable in New York and I wanted to change it up and put myself in a different scene.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I moved to LA. So then I came back to New York because I was doing, you'd always do New Year's Eve shows in New York. And, uh, so it was going to be the last year I go to do New Year's Eve shows. And usually you'd perform at like Carolines, Carolines was awesome to perform at New Year's Eve because you'd get to perform and then right before the ball drops, I mean, honestly, two minutes before that ball drops.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We just walk out on Times Square and watch the ball drop and then go back downstairs. So if it was freezing outside.


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[Assistant] You would just be like, Hey, it's dropping in 40 seconds. And you go, okay. And you walk out. Yeah, there it goes.


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[Assistant] They've been out there for 12 hours. But if you have a little fun thing, if you ever want to go see the ball drop, I think they still obviously go do it where they,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, but go to Carolines. You get to watch a comedy show, go to the late show and you get to watch the comedy show and then they walk you upstairs. I'd make sure, call them and make sure that. I'm pretty sure they do. It wasn't just a comic thing, but then you can walk up and that way you're not stuck in that whole, uh, that whole nonsense where you're waiting, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, so anyways, so I go back for New Year's Eve and I was going to be doing a show on the 30th somewhere, or December 30th, I was going to be doing a show in like


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, Massachusetts. And there was a massive snowstorm. So the show gets cancelled. I shouldn't even be there. So now I'm there.


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[Assistant] Uh, I go, I used to do a podcast with Yannis Pappas and Chris Laker. It could be better. It was funny enough, it's funny to talk about it now. Uh, so this is 2012, we're doing this podcast. Uh, and I go, I'm like, look, we need to record a final episode. I was like, we never recorded a final episode, we just stopped doing it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so I was like, so we're gonna go to the stand. I'm not doing this show now. We're gonna do this final episode. So we go and we're gonna record this final episode. We all come down there. Uh, no one's, I'm doing that show later on. Uh, we're down in the showroom. So we get done doing it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What's up man? You know, like that's crazy. And like, you know, like, and then seeing Laker and we're all like, you know, and he's like, Hey, uh, he like lived in the neighborhood at the time or something. And he's like, I just wanted to, I heard about this club. I wanted to come check it out. And I'm like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah, it's cool man, and uh, so we just, we set.


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[Assistant] And, uh, in the back and like he had a beer and like, you know, we, I think we just had a beer and talked and he knew Nashville Zanies. He knew Dorfin and Zanies. And so as long as from Nashville, I just moved to LA and.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, you know, we just kind of talked until the show started and he was like, I'm going to watch some of the show. And he's hosting late night with found, you know, and, uh, he's a comic and he didn't want to go up or anything. So everybody kind of goes up now cause fouls are the guy Janis gets, uh, like everybody wants to go up now. And so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And he stayed, and then so I went on, and we all know he's there, so obviously since we know he's there, we are-


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[Assistant] I get off stage and, uh, we just see him leave. I didn't talk to him. He just leaves. Uh, and I was like, all right.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, but I knew, I know he watched, like, you know, we're asked like, did he watch me? And we're like, yeah. And then it's so funny, the guy, uh, after, uh, Anthony Zinhauser, uh, it's comic, uh, buddy Anthony, but we always made, uh, I would always make fun of him. He's pretty mean, but he performed.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean I've done, I've been in those situations too. You don't know, but it's just so funny to be like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So he, we, uh, we get, he gets, so Fallon gets done, he leaves, don't hear from him, whatever. I moved to LA, uh, met Fallon, I was like, that's cool. I do Conan in LA.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Get done doing Conan. Next day, uh, Fallon called my agent at the time, manager at the time, and then, uh, was like, he wanted me, asked me to do the late night. He's like, you wanna do, uh, we wanna offer you a date for late night. And it was the first time I ever got the date before they saw the set.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I remember that like being like, I've never been, I could always get on these sits. I mean I was always going to get approved with being clean. Maybe I can't say Walmart or Starbucks or something. But, uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was the first one I ever got the offer just being like, Hey, just do a set and, uh, we'll give you, here's the date we want you to do. And then just send us your set when you're ready, which is the, where I'm at now with the tight show, which is very, I'm still, and now I never get over it. I never, it never is past, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think about it every time that it's insane that I can get a date.


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[Assistant] I mean, I can almost tell them when I want to do it, but I can get a date without doing it. It blows me away. Because how much you have to go through to get a late night set. To do all of this stuff, and it's, it's, I mean, none of it's ever lost on me, and I truly, truly think about it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Every single time and it means the, and it mean, it's, it's, that would be a milestone and a huge achievement.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] For me to be able to do this without having to jump through the, I mean that's, and I think about it every, every, every time I do it. That's awesome.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He, uh, they asked me to set it. I just did Conan and there's a rule that you can't, you gotta be three months. You can't do another late night. It's not a rule.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, yeah, exactly. That's what they called me and they go, told you, there is a rule. No, but they, they don't want you to do another show, have done another show. Okay. And I think it might be six months, but maybe it was three at the time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That you do switch over into like, I'm just doing it tonight, so I'm not doing anybody else. Like I just do him. Why would I go anywhere else? Uh, and that's once I started doing what I found, like this moment was like when I was kind of like, I asked one time about doing Conan. I was like, ah, Conan wants me to do something. And they were like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, I think they gave me another set. They were like, just do another one with us. And then I was like, okay. Like it's, it's a cool.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, Ray Romano had that with Letterman. When Lena was gonna be done with The Tonight Show and Ray was gonna go on Letterman, he went to, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He went to the, uh, he wanted to go to Linos like one of his last shows.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so he asked the guy that produced and Ray Ramon, everybody loves Raymond. If people don't know David Letterman produced everybody loves Ray. I didn't know that. Yeah. So that's how they, that's how they got together is Ray did the show. They've learned made that sitcom and then I got on it. So he always could only do Letterman because it's like, that's the deal. And he would want to, I mean,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But when, when Jaylen was retiring, Everybody Loves Raymond's all been off the air a few years, he, uh, asked the producer, he's like, hey, you think Dave Letterman will care if I go do Tonight Show? I mean, I'm friends with Jay, like, you know, it's his final show, do you care if I go? And, uh, the producer went to Ray and said, uh, you can do whatever you want.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, but I will tell you that it will break his heart.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so, uh, the producer said that. So it's not like, I don't know if the producer said, my opinion is that you can do whatever you want, but it will break his heart. And then Ray's like, I mean, I can't, you know, I can't do that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, there's, there's a mix of, you know, we have that where you're like, you should be loyal to your guys. So anyway, so I'm ready, I get asked to do that show. I go.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Fallon also, first day they called and asked me to do a late show with Fallon. The next day they called and they said they wanted to talk to me about producing a sitcom. So this was my first time ever being in that world. And so he wanted to do like Letterman.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, where it's like we make like an Everybody Loves Raymond. Obviously mine have never gone. This was eight years ago. We did it twice. They never went anywhere. But the night when they, they, he was going to come watch me before I fly to New York.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm performing at Gotham Comedy Club and uh, he was gonna come watch me perform. They were like, let me watch him again. I've only seen him once. Let me make sure this guy is good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It, that was, I remember going to the comedy club. It was, uh, like a comedy juice. If you ever go do shows in New York or LA, if you watch shows, they do the shows comedy juice and they're all, they're notoriously known as amazing shows.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And they're both at the improv and then I think the, I think still the Gotham. And, uh, so I was doing that show and they were, I remember going in there and they're like, when do you want to go up? Cause Fallon was coming down to watch. It was like, everybody's kind of like, everybody's like tense. Everybody's like, you know, and so, uh, they're like, ask me to go up. I went up, I think.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The host went first comically than me. Cause we didn't wanna, I figured as I can't make him stay the whole time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it's a good spot on a show. Host goes up, have one comic go up, and then I get to go up. And I just go do like 15 minutes. And I always say, I go, I went up and that was probably the, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] One of the bigger shows of my career, as far as not a special or something, but as far as who's, what's, what's kind of at stake. And, uh, so I went up and did the set.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I always say, it was like, the set went so good, it was as if the audience knew how important it was for me. Like they, it went unbelievable. And I mean, I murdered. Like it was just, I mean, just unreal.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then, so then we went and hung out after and then, uh, you know, that's where that relationship began. This has been a lot of rambling.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I bet y'all should have opened with y'all's stories. They should have done y'all's first. That's not, I'm not turning to me. It's funny to be like, I mean, I'm like, and that's how I met family, like Brian.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Aaron, go ahead. You're like, well, MC did a club. What, our milestones? Yeah. I mean, like we should have done them in a reverse order. I know. I know. But go through yours, Bates. I'd love to hear them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Go through your baits. I'd love to hear them. Let's go through them. We got time. It'll be real quick. Uh, go ahead. It's, uh, that, that was very mean. Sorry. No, I mean, I don't, I don't. Speed through them though.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm joking. I'm not talking about mine. It was just very, I can't see the comedy of it. I just went on this long thing. And then you just throw Aaron, you're like, Aaron, go ahead. What's yours, Aaron?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Those are huge moments. I'm not saying, those are, those are big, those are, uh, moments to have. Those are gigantic moments. I remember my first MCing was at Zany's in Chicago, uh, with piano on stage. First time featuring, uh, I think was for Angela Johnson on the road. I remember doing those.


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[Assistant] Maybe it's ComedyWorks, but it's not that ComedyWorks, but it's in Montreal.


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[Assistant] And the guy and Dan Shackey opened for me and I barely had enough time to do headline. I bombed super hard and it was real and it got, and the audience could tell it was like sad. And, uh, I just went and I was like, I can't, I was like, I shouldn't be headlining. I can't, I don't have enough time. I can't talk for this long. And I mean that I've seen that guy, I want to say is JB or.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Something like that. I've seen him recently, like, and he still talks about it. He's like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was like, dude, I bombed so hard that first week and he's like, I know, it was real bad. And I mean, Shaq, I mean, he was uncomfortable. Just Shaq, he would destroy and I just couldn't, I just didn't have enough time. You know, it was, it was almost like it was too soon. It was too, you know, but yours quitting working was a big deal.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Day job status, when your day jobs get to go away, that's a gigantic deal in comedy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When you feel like you're in it, you're, you know, when I was at the cellar, when you're hanging out, when I got passed to that back and I got passed at the club, which pass means you were accepted and you can perform there and I got to sit at that back table and you're allowed to sit back there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's huge. I mean, getting to go there, I mean, it's funny to go there now too. And like now when I go, I mean, they, I can go, I mean, I let them know, I always say I'm coming. I'm not, I'm definitely not burr.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, or Chappelle, like I can't walk in and I go next.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, no, no, not, not, uh, but like I, when I text them before I come that week and I'm like, hey, I'm coming in town and I usually can get spots. I mean, the seller's the best. I mean, you know, and, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So it's being able to get to that table, you know, I mean, you would not sit at it. I mean, it was, it was a, it was a, it's a, it's an enormous, enormous deal that I took very seriously. I would never.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I would never want to sit at it, like before. It was like, nah, I can't. Like, you know, cause you wanted, that was, it was what you wanted. I had moved, when I left New York, my thing was I wanted to get passed at every club. And uh, the comic strip was the last one. First one I auditioned for too.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] First one I auditioned for and the last one I got passed at. And I got passed at it, honestly, maybe six months to a year before I left.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Part of it, I kind of was getting on stage, so I didn't always go try, but it was at the end. I was like, well, I want to be able to say I've played every club and, uh, and I was passed at every club and that was the last one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, hour 45, excuse me. All right. How many, this might be a two parter. Okay. I'm thinking we could do a two parter on this. What are we at?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, we've got a lot more questions. A lot more. Yeah. I think it's, I think it's, I think, yeah, I want to try this. We're going to try it too far. We can do the bombing that we're going to end on this bombing stories. And then, uh, I think we're going to roll into, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I want to try a two parter. I don't want to do two and a half hours.


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[Assistant] We can talk about it for a while. Bombing's great, cause I love bombing. And, uh, there's been a bunch of them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So yeah, we're, uh, I think, uh, I'm pretty excited by this two-parter.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. I have a seizure later today. Yeah. Which I've been seeing stuff in the corners of my eye. It could be humking up. I looked that up. Could be what? Sometimes when you turn, I'll see either two lines or like, uh, some flashes. Some of those, I read some of those migraines. Yeah. But my head doesn't hurt. I'm sure everybody will tell me what it is next week.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It'll be in the comments. Uh, I don't know. I see a red dot. Now it's Brian's nose every time he looks at it.


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[Assistant] You know, everybody told us they were like, someone they're like, how did you not bring it up? I never noticed.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Why would I bring that up about a friend on a podcast? Thank you, Aaron. I don't know. So he doesn't get trashed in front of everybody. Uh, I never noticed that stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think, as I said, I think comedy is becoming a lot more mainstream. When I first started, when I was in New York City, starting for the first time, the system how you came up through that


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] To New York was to go to the comedy clubs. You would do the comedy clubs and you would want to get past the comedy clubs.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, Gotham, Stain, all the ones I've named. Carolines, Compostrip, Dangerfield, uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And you want to go and you want to go do all of them and you'd want to be past all those clubs. And you could go do other shows, but there wasn't a ton of other shows. I would, there was a show called Rafifi and that was a big like kind of alternative show. Like I remember Zach Galifianakis was there. I have an email from John Mulaney. John Mulaney used to book that show.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so, there, it was like, that was like the only alternative show that you could do. It's in crashing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, I was in New York for four or five, six years. Then like, I mean, people were able to do shows where you're like, Oh, I don't even have to go to a comedy club. I mean, there's bars everywhere doing shows and everybody's running shows. And so then that just started spreading it out. So I think comedy, I think stand up and I don't know, maybe the audience it'd be interesting to hear.


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[Assistant] What some audience got, members, uh, what they think, like how?


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[Assistant] Like, just be like, how super aware are you of comedy, of stand-up comedy, to how not aware? You know what I mean? Like, do you know that there's openers? Do you know that there's any, I would actually be very curious to see what, uh, some audience thinks of that stuff. How much do they know, you know,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, how much are they tracking? How many comics do they know outside of me? If you know me, do you know Mike Rubiglia? Gaffigan? Right. Do you know Bird? Do you know, uh, Dan Soder? Do you know? Like, you know, I got a mix of people that are gonna know me that, you know, like, there's a lot of people that know Seinfeld and Gaffigan.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Are not gonna know, they won't know me, like they might, you know, those are your massive guys.


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[Assistant] That's your Walmart. That's your, they, they, they know who they are. Versus, you know, if you get to know, if you know me a lot of times, it's like, you will know a lot of comics because you're, that means you're in the comedy is the fact that you're not, you're, you know,


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[Assistant] What's your word? Zeitgeist? Is that the word? Zeitgeist. Yeah. Yeah. Uh, isn't that, is that the proper way to use it?


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[Assistant] Yes. Yes. So I think now stand up is starting to become.


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[Assistant] Uh, with Netflix and people were wanting to watch it. I mean, most people didn't watch comedy at all and I think now they're watching comedy. I think they're now checking it out and it's, uh, it's very more attainable. You got these podcasts, a lot more people talking, a lot more, you know. So I would think that


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, I mean, I think comedy's in another boom right now. You know, I mean, I mean, this pandemic kind of crushed it, but I think comedy's in a...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A pretty big boom. Uh, I think it's, you know, a gigantic, uh, upswing. It's a good thing. I remember it being down. You know, it's funny as I remember like 2008 when, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The bank stuff happened and the economy was bad. I remember comedy being great.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Which is very funny to think, I remember people needed to laugh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so I remember shows being really good there in 2008 cause people just wanted a, they needed a break. And I mean, I think you're probably into that stuff now where it's like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The world is heavy. It's deep. It's a lot of stuff. And so you people need to breaks and they need to be like, you know, that's why, again, that's why friends and Seinfeld and all that's why those shows are getting just devoured because people are like, I need.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, separate, I mean, it is seeping into every form of entertainment I watch has this nonsense of just the world falling apart. Not that's, that's not nonsense, but you know, the world, so it's like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Everybody's like, well, I need to say it and all this. And so I think comedy now is like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know. So I think comedy's in a great place. I mean, would you agree? Would you?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, stand up I think is better than it's obviously ever been. You think stand up ever gets like music? Does it ever get?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In what way? No. I mean- Oh, you mean that it's as big as music? I don't. Yeah, it just can't. No.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah. I have a lot of people say they listen to my comedy to sleep at night. So, I've got very passive comedy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, cause we're gonna be able to do another hour and a half on this. So let's just save it. We've done a long one and I wanna do a part two. We're gonna do a comedy part two. Obviously this is our forte.


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[Assistant] Will Forte, met him once. Uh, met him after the show once. He saw me at, uh, where was it? What's the other alt show? The big awesome show that was in New York. Knitting Factory? Uh, no. Uh, before that, uh, man, to get on it was huge. Uh, Whiplash. We'll find out in part two. Oh, okay. Whiplash.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And Will Forte was, uh, if you did whiplash, it was unbelievable. Uh, and it was just a huge deal to get to do it. And, uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then, uh, Louie, uh, Louis CK, I know I mentioned, I know people, you know, whatever, but this is like, then Louie was doing, and I mean, this is the first time Louie talked to me. Like he was very nice to me, watched my set and then like was like, you should try this. I was doing a sideshow again. I was like running it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And he's like, you trying this and try it this way. Like actually talk to me about the structure of jokes. And, uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But, uh, yeah, Wilford Davis had his show once and I...


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[Assistant] Hey, you know that was Wilfrite? And I was like, was it? Like, you know, I was like, should I go talk to him again? And they're like, it's over now. Oh, you didn't know who it was? No, I didn't. I mean, it was, yeah, I didn't think about it. It's not, Wilfrite is like,


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[Assistant] Thank you. Yeah, you're walking through the crowd like where everybody's going, great job, great job. You're like, thank you, thank you. He's like, hey, grace says, ah, I appreciate it. Hey, thanks for coming out, dude. I go, thanks for coming out, dude. Make sure you tip the way staff and stuff, you know, uh, and then just leave and someone's like, that's cool for today. He's like, was it? Like, uh, never talked to him, never had spoke to him since then him and Jerry Seinfeld, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, alright, so yea, part two, that's fun. I'm excited about part two. So if you have any comedy questions that we did not answer, this is what's great. You need to send them in now. You can, uh, so maybe we will be able to get to them, uh, and we have a lot more stuff to talk about. But again, as always, thank you guys.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] For listening, always remember none of this is lost on us. We truly appreciate it. All the ratings, all the stuff that you're helping us get as we move up in this, uh, podcast, uh, world and, uh, since, uh, live, uh, comedy's dead, comedy's dead.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Since his death. Uh, so, you know, you're, uh, we love you all. Thank you very much and, uh, we'll see you next week.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Thanks everybody for listening to the Nate Land Podcast. Be sure to subscribe to our show on iTunes, Spotify, you know, wherever you listen to your podcasts. And please remember to leave us a rating or a comment.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What's your source? You have the chef in the kitchen?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I, uh, would people come in with like, give me your recommendations for movies and stuff back, how did that work?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I went to a pizza place in Illinois a couple years ago. If you got a pizza, you got a free DVD rental.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's a place attached to it. So there's still a few places like that.


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[Assistant] I'll be honest, they were pretty scattered there in that comment. I don't really know what the second half of that comment meant. I tried to follow it. I kind of gave up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I wish the comments weren't at the front. And then the next comment was, I love that they're in the front of the fight. It's just nobody, you know, fast forward if you don't like it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, yeaah, it's just normal, you know, college stuff. People get in trouble. Nothing serious. Thank God.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, underage drinking and stuff like that. You know, bar fights, that kind of thing.


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[Assistant] Prison you know what's really a bomber now is they when you get arrested now that your screen like your mugshot is online forever.


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[Assistant] He was an av- so he just flew planes and he was that famous?


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[Assistant] So he would be like a, like a Neil Armstrong type, like a, that sort of figure. Okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He lived in space for a year. But if his kid had been kidnapped, maybe.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, she was a college student studying abroad and her, I think her roommate or somebody she was staying with was murdered. She was blamed, her and her boyfriend. Yeah. And, um, yeah, then it came out that it was just, it was some random dude.


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[Assistant] My old roommate, there was just a whole half of the house I would never, never go over there.


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[Assistant] So he could, he could have been there for weeks, dad, before I'd noticed.


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[Assistant] And, uh, I feel more in control of the situation in an aisle seat. Maybe back then he had to pass the note across somebody else to the student.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't- I mean, dude, it's a million dollars worth, dude. I mean, just think, is it worth-


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[Assistant] You just gotta think best case scenario. He has a million dollars, but he has to live the rest of his life.


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[Assistant] Yeah, I've only flown in a post 9-11 world. So I, it's just the idea of a guy with a fake name. Yeah. Like getting onto a plane like that and they don't know anything about him is crazy to me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You can, you can hire them on the dark web. I was reading a thread about it recently.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I would be the diversion guy. I would like block security cameras. You know, I could be...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'd be the, look, I'd dress up as a UPS guy and just like, I don't know, hold a balloon in front of a security camera, that kind of stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay. I was going to say if you're the getaway driver, then Brian is like the George Clooney of our organization. I think I, yeah, he's, I think he's back at that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I could set a diversion. I'll do something. I just, yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I feel like you couldn't, you wouldn't do a museum. That's a lot. That's a lot. You can do a lot of research.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I thought that was interesting as they tell you it's, it's that they're there to greet, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] For customer service, but they're 100% there to deter.


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[Assistant] Shoplifting and it seems to work a little, believe it or not, like just putting old people out there seems to.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You play golf. How big of a deal would that be if somebody was doing that at your golf course?


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[Assistant] The fact that it's been going on that long makes me think it's an inside job and it's a, you know, it's an employee of this place.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When you steal this priceless art, it's like, what do you do with it?


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[Assistant] I mean it has value, you can sell it to people that are, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I can play okay. I'm curious who that is and where they've seen me play. Oh come on Aaron, you know who that is.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's the best dude. It's curious, uh, like interesting to see what people did, like bystanders did when that happened. Well, they called the cops and they called the cops, but like nobody, I mean, it was a group of people kidnapping them, but nobody really jumped into style.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Let alone it being Brad Pitt, you know, like you were saying, they're probably just still processing the fact that there's huge celebrities right there. You don't even know what's happening.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Did you ever hear the 911 call when, when the guy that OJ Simpson robbed called in Vegas? He called, he was like, OJ Simpson just robbed me. And they're like, yeah, okay, dude.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is that more than the difference of what you're paying $20?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I feel like that's the case with most things. Most places like that, you just give people money, they can do pretty much whatever you ask them to do.


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[Assistant] The reason I think that compares me and John Goodman is not that great. I don't know what John Goodman looks like when he was my age, just cause I feel like every image of him in my head is when he's older.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Probably not when he was my age, he was 28. He was in his 30's I bet. You think he was in his 30's back then? Well gosh, that show was 30 years ago, right? Yea. Yea, but he was like a father of a family. Well, you should be.


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[Assistant] Yeah, I mean this is every fat guy with a beard in Nashville.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Gets compared to Luke Combs who is a tremendously successful country singer.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He would be the keynote speaker, the fat bearded white guy conference. For sure. I'd be happy to get an invite, but yeah, I mean, I would never unbutton that many buttons on my shirt, but, uh, you're buttoned up there. If I was, I mean, if I was as successful as him, I'd probably do it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, if you're like a Kennedy on a sailboat, you know, maybe have one button on a shirt, but if you're, you know, I would button all the way up to the top if, if that wasn't considered lame.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Golf shirt, I feel like you, it's common to go all the way up to the top. But like, just a button down, it looks weird.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh yeaah, I did a, in college, my sister's wedding, this old woman, I don't know who she was.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] She met me and she goes, were you, were you in a Hallmark commercial?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I was like, no. Yeah. And then I saw her like later that weekend. She was like, are you sure you never did a homo? I said, I'd probably remember.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If I was in a major commercial and she goes, you look just like this guy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] At the time that I looked it up, he looked much bigger, but now we look a little more similar.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it's like the movie Heavyweights. I watched that movie Heavyweights recently and I was like, those kids aren't that big. Is this it? Yeah, that's the one right there. Yeah, this is the one she was talking about. Alright. I guess it was big at the time. Or it was a couple years old, but yeah, that guy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I didn't have a beard and I had a tux on the whole weekend.


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[Assistant] So 1 out of 135, how many of those 8 characteristics? So like a near perfect doppelganger, there's a 1 in 135.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know how it works. How do you even get started? I don't know how you pick, like you pick this as your specialty. I'm going to look into doppelgangers.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So they studied four thousand different phases from a database.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They said they didn't disclose what those eight facial features are. I'm curious what they look at.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know? Hmm. Maybe. What would it be? Like, your eyebrows. Eyebrows. Yeah, the cheek. Like the bone structure of the face.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's why I think there's like a secret one they're looking at. Like that just makes it obvious.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's what I'm saying. I'm thinking about what my eyes look like, but really they're looking for that little thing under the nose. You know, I don't know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And the three families that adopted these, these triplets were all varying like income levels.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, that's kind of, that's one of those, it's like an interesting thing, an interesting experiment to run if you don't care about B&E.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That you were swa- I know that was a problem for kids getting swapped in hospitals.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well now, don't they, don't they give you like a, they give you like a house arrest ankle bracelet now?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I would say the conclusion was that uhm, you know, for the sake of the story, they played up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They all prefer the same brand of cigarettes. You know, they, they like the same, they have the same taste in women, that kind of stuff. Very broad things though. Marlboro is like the number one. Exactly. It's like saying they all like Coca-Cola the best. Of course they do.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because they grew up in such different environments, they were, they were more different than even they wanted to admit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I think the conclusion was that nurture was ultimately more important in the things that matter. Right. You know?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Dude, that's hilarious. You know, it was, uh, he smokes camel.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well another thing is twins and triplets were much less common back then.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's one of the things we had, we were talking about beforehand, like, uhm.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. Oh, that's, that's interesting. That's a good comparison of like the, how big the story was.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think that one woman gave birth to over 60 kids.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Over the course of her, not at once, but over the course of her life. Well, that's not what we're talking about here.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well yeaah, they were all in like college age where your peak physical, you know, everything.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When do you think you decide, let's go for the record? Yeah. You know?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's what makes me think they were, they were trying for this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just some equally talented charismatic guy was out there as well. Would they have been a, do you think they would have been a duo act? Or do you think they would have branched off and done different things?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you told me, like, you knew about that, I'd be like, hey dude, if you ever need to talk, just let me know. Like, hope you're doing okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You hit? I know. If you're not going to be a celebrity, you gotta at least bring something to it. I was the worst golfer and lesser known than two of the five guys that in our group. Where was that at? In Murfreesboro.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, this guy's good. We did a show a few weeks ago in Huntsville and he turned me on to some, some new music.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, we said, let's pick out our saddest songs to listen to. And the words are... Oh yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The theaters, uh, who are you there with? Me and a couple of comedian friends, Johnny W and Ed Wiley, two very funny guys. And, uh, this will be my, uh, return to Lebanon since the Wilson County livestock. This is the big, this is the big one. This is the big one. Chance to redeem myself from my mom and friends.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do you remember which groups you've performed for? We've had people ask and they've pointed that out and they can tell the brigades, but, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think we're going to get a follow up from Jayden said, I actually had another problem I did not know about. I should not have been losing weight that fast.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. Yeah. Right. Couple of genuine ones. Yeah. And then it grew from there because someone's a bully.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Think about all the, I mean, there's some comments out there now. People are just going nuts.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I think they just published it, like, she read it a long time ago, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Not everybody says it like that. No, but if you had a graduate degree, then you would say I did my undergrad at so-and-so and then my gut my.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like I got an undergrad from MTSU. That's all I got.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] She was pointing out how you, you kind of Sarah P had a very unusual last name.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I think she's, she's pointing out how well Laura had to take on Barcazi.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know if it's sincere when he calls me Berkshire Hathaway. I want to say thank you, Wheeler.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Did you get that from your family or did they get it from you? Because your dad says unbelievable a lot. I don't know, it all blends together.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You didn't even see it. I don't want to say that horse was standing up looking unbelievable. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He stole it from me. I went on stage and I was going to tell it that night, but then I forgot. And when I got off, I was like, Oh, I won't go back up there. But he was already up there telling it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's insane. That's why I do draftings. I've been in the same fantasy league for 26 years.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I mean, we would literally type out or write out our lineup, turn it in. We had a commissioner and then he would like look it up in the newspaper, the stats.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And do all the scoring. So yeah. I mean, you kind of kept up with yourself to make sure he had it right.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I mean, sometimes that's why you kind of keep it, if it's close, you better check it yourself to make sure, but.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We still don't do a lot of this, like points for interceptions and.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's like, uh, it's, it's, we've gradually increased it, but like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] 52 to 38 or something like that would be a...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, so we'll start with the beginning of grocery stores. A little fun fact here. The first self-service grocery store.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like jokes? Well, that's the s- I've read like three times on the show and twice you've called me out on the way I started, so. I don't think I'm good at starting, but.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Let's start over. Uh, the first self-service grocery store, Piggly Wiggly, opened in 1916 in Memphis, Tennessee.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We're still around. Yea, we had one in Ladman, may still have, still be there. It's big. Do you remember, you ever seen Pigloo?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What you got working underneath there today? I think you got something special. Just a shirt, man. Yeaah, it's a little something special underneath there. Just a shirt.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I remember when Pigly, the grocery store in Lebanon was Moser's Grocery. I don't know if that's a chain or just Lebanon, but when...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Memphis, Tennessee, 1916. Prior to this, grocery stores operated over the counter with customers asking a grocer to retrieve items from inventory.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think about like old westerns you see where you go up to the counter.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You just don't go pick it off a shelf, you go tell them up front what you want and they go get it for you and bring it out to you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In rural areas, general stores offered credit to their customers, a system of payment that works on trust rather than modern credit cards. This allowed farm families to buy staples until their harvest could be sold.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I saw one last night on Facebook, I see people post this a lot, how they're in line, this friend of mine posted she was at Publix, she got up there to pay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, the first retail self checkout was invented in 1992 and became prevalent in grocery stores across America in the early 2000s. Self checkout was that early?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think now it's just so much more prevalent, but do you guys do stuff checkout? I do it every time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] While those places now have the touch pad, they'll flip it around and it's like 15%, 20, 30 or other.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But yeah, these self service, the self scan things now, most places they have one register open maybe. And then they just really want you to go.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I think we'll get to that. My wife, I just realized she's smarter than me than everything. I knew that, but she scans. Like if you go through self checkout, you just take the bark.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And go all the way crying. He gets confused cause it's like, what are you doing?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's always like place the battle back in the bag.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I can remember when grocery stores even had the scanner


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Swipe word, not where you did it, but where even when the person behind the counter did it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like I can remember when it just went through the belt and they just rang it up on a cash register.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, but you don't remember anything past 2010, Harley. No, I don't remember a lot of stuff. But I'm talking about like, I remember the first time sliding, like automatic sliding doors.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause before it was just a swinging door and you just pushed it open and came out. And then the first time you walk up and some sensor like opens it for you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was going to say he saw me ride a scooter for the first time in DC. Bird scooters?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I couldn't steer it straight. So that was my, I would like literally veer, like there'd be old ladies walking. I would just be heading straight toward them and I had to just jump off and stop it or.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The need to avoid infection has taught people how to get by on fewer trips to the store and to make good shopping lists.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Before the coronavirus, 19% of Americans shopped for food more than three times a week. According to a study by the management firm McKinsey & Company, that number has dropped to 10% by June. Three times a week seems like a lot to me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, pandemic shopping has ushered in wider aisles, new methods of sanitation. It's about time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, Walmart is testing, uh, a new system that replaces traditional checkout lines with an open plaza ringed by 34 terminals.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Shoppers can scan their purchases or wave down and deploy, which is what I would do to do the scanning for them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Kroger intends to double down on customer choice, offering an array of options including self-checkout stations and an app that allows customers to scan and pay as they go, as well as traditional cashiers.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, a year ago, 81% of shoppers surveyed by Gallup said they never turned to the internet for groceries. Online shopping was around 3% for all grocery sales, or about 1.2 billion.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] According to a survey, but in June of this year, online grocery sales in the US had hit 7.2 billion.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In a challenge to Amazon Prime, Walmart just announced a new $98 a year subscription service that offers same day delivery.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Carbside pickup has also exploded. Stores are converting parking lots to better handle traffic from shoppers who drive by to pick up orders. Companies including Kroger and Whole Food are opening what become known as dark stores.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Designed solely for picking up or delivering orders placed online.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do you guys ever, yea it does kind of. Do you guys, have you ever done pickup? Like where you order and they bring it out to your car?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's a service. Uh, so yeaah, so this is, uh, Amazon is testing its first fresh grocery store where customers would shop by signing into their Amazon app and placing their items in a dash cart.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Which uses cameras, sensors, and a scale to automatically detect and log items on a digital display behind the handle.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Shoppers who use the Dash carts will scan a QR code in their Amazon app to log into the cart before they begin.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's a couple. Which one, uh, you got a preference? In the crime stories?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, I think the second one's probably better. Uh, alright, so apparently in grocery stores, fake slip and falls is like a big deal. People.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] People do it, they have to, grocery stores have to charge you more because they have to have insurance for it. Uhm, there's woman right there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean just out in the open. I know. There's like people around.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Let me get ahead here. So these two women were shopping together.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Now her friend's going to get help. Yeaah. Here they come running to help her.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. This woman is scum. Yeah. So that's from a local news investigation. So that's like her, right? I got me fired up the actual paramedics. I don't like tipping into that yoga place.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This story said that even when they catch people sometimes, like that first one we watched, sometimes they'll still pay out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Before they go through all the legal fees.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I actually thought that first woman that wasn't too bad. I think I would do worse than that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Shoot had done good. Yeah. Oh, sorry. This is the next story. You want to move on to this? Sure. Yeah. All right. Amy Gaudet.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Ravelace, hope I said that right, had just dropped her kids off at school and decided to swing by Trader Joe's in Baton Rouge, Louisiana shortly after it opened.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] After five minutes, a fellow shopper asked, excuse me, but is that your pet snake?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It wasn't. Unbeknownst to Rebelace, a small snake had culled itself inside her cart, hitching a ride as she shopped for groceries. I screamed it through my purse and generally created a scene, Rebelace said.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And they like loaded some produce and the little girl said, mommy, there's a snake in our cart. Oh really? So it, it happened, it's happened a few times.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Slots. Animals and stores in general. I was surprised how many, just last month there was a bear.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That window grocery store in Lake Tahoe and like just roamed around, got a bag of chips.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I wanted to ask you, is it, what's grocery shopping like in New York and LA?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't think, I don't think I would have thought of the little flip thing up front. For the kids.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I thought I had found this unbelievable story to use a-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Your word. This guy got trapped and he was in the bathroom.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And when he came out, they'd locked up the store and he got panicked and nervous and he ate $8,000 worth of food and drinks.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I'm like, this is the greatest story. I mean, I'm so excited. I'm putting it in, typing it. And I was like, God, it almost seems too good to be true.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Also, like, the multiple times that I feel like we went to the bathroom, the REM pods did go off. That happened more than just once. Yeah, you're right.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's the only way he knows. I do love though that she said, while their spirits aren't actively there, people will hear screams because they were sisters. Residual. And it says residual, like sisterly fighting. Yes. And I love that because I know those screams. Like my sister and I were like that growing up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's kind of a maze happening up there. It is wild that they had to, the parents would like lock that door between the two rooms because Lizzie would like steal things from their room. Yea, she was known to be like a little klepto.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Maybe. Although the one, okay, the one fact that was really strange to me that Amber had told us was that they never searched her room because she was a woman and it seemed improper.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I also think it's, it comments on our society and like the way that it started with 20 whacks to 40 of the way that we love to exaggerate and dramatize things over time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean that was like every haunting we experienced was so specific to what has happened in the house, what is alleged to have happened, and the types of ghosts that are said to be in those rooms.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I feel like, I mean, I said this to you when we got to the house, like Corinne and I both decided...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We're not going to re-listen to the episode that we did about Lizzie Borden because we just didn't want any information to-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do they have imagery of like blood spatter elsewhere?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There is a part of what if she didn't, I kinda hope she didn't see it coming, like if they didn't make eye contact, and also isn't there like a place in your spine you would know, if like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because the one reason that I buy Lizzie doing it is the whole theory of like her father's abuse and all of that and her being pushed to a place where she had to defend herself. So in that, but in that regard it's like wouldn't he then have more injuries?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Force. It could also just imply like loss of breathing, just like the shock.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It is weird and kind of disturbing how so many things that are geared towards children. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Mine is also very, just spot on again, cozy granola vibes, Thursday afternoon.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I haven't started my, uh, Rock Lobster B-52, uh, subversion yet, but I'll keep you updated. Just once a day I'm gonna play it to see what it does to my daily life.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, I can't pick between the two that I'm gonna do, so I'm gonna do abbreviated for both of them. Love that. Okay, because, bring around the rosy. Ahh. A pocketful of posies.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A tissue, a tissue, we all fall down. Or ashes, ashes. The wedding bells are ringing, the boys and girls are singing. A tissue, a tissue, we all fall down.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Apparently they make it a game where when you do, we all fall down. Whoever was the last person to fall down.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is so fun. We've been playing it wrong. We've been playing it wrong. This is better. Right? Isn't this like a fun twist that we didn't have? Yea, I like this. Uhm, and they would either have to profess their love for someone in the circle or kiss or hug the person. Ooh, scandalous.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, so then the last one I was going to do is London Bridge is Falling Down.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is how I got my scar on my, the bottom of my lip.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But basically, people believe that this is because it took... The London Bridge has been...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Built, rebuilt, attacked, caught fire.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So there was a medieval bridge that was the London Bridge and then it was rebuilt and replaced in 1176. Damn. Which took years to complete.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it was during this building of the bridge.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes. So there is this form of torture from the medieval times called emmurement, which is when a person is encased into a room with no opening or exits and left there to die.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So the lyrics that are, take the key and lock her up seem to point to this and there's a belief that they would trap people in these stones. There were some articles that say children. I just feel like it's one of those examples of making things more dramatic. Yeaah. Let's make it even worse. Yeaah. And it was basically a sacrifice to the gods in order to keep the bridge standing. Because this bridge has been taken down and actually I think the


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So there's the medieval London Bridge, there's the old London Bridge, there's the...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But so basically, you would find some evidence of people having been bricked in. And they never have. Oh, okay. Here's the best part about this nursery rhyme. And it's very musical.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So the Vikings, they took on these conquests and they would attack, they would murder, they would take over cities. So this belief is that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They were heading towards London in 1014. They were setting off on their ships and they were.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Getting towards the London Bridge and this part I took some creative liberties. Uhm, a man on the ship starts humming a tune.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You seize the bridge up in the distance. I like it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Explicit. E for explicit. You don't want those kiddos in the car for this one. Nope. Not this one. So Jordan, you have quite a tale to tell us today.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We did have one. I won't say who it is, obviously I won't say, but it was like a guy that everybody had all kinds of crazy stories about.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When in reality, I'm pretty sure it was like just an old guy who had been through it and was probably, you know, dealing with like mental illness of some kind. But of course kids are kids.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] People used to like, you know, ring on, ring his doorbell and like beep when they went by his house and all that and it was, it's actually kind of sad now that I think about it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Absolutely. 100%. And it should be treated the same, like it's still, cause the thing is, it's like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes, because I'm thinking like if that's tame, the fact that he had to like hide in somebody's yard to like, cause he was so scared by it, like freaked out by it, that's so sad. And that's a tame experience. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So you feel like you can trust it. And especially as like a big male, you're like, yeah, I'll get into the super.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, we'll describe that feeling when like a man usually does something very uncomfortable in your presence and you're like, ew, I felt dirty. And to hear a man say that, like, ugh, like, I don't know what this feeling is, I feel weird. It's like, there it is.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No. But it's the same thing, they're doing the same thing that a lot of women who go through uncomfortable situations do, which is like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You put it on yourself, which is like, I feel dirty. And it's like, well, you didn't do anything. Like, you're like, but you end up feeling like it's somehow like shameful for you. Yeah. The laughing I think is just uncomfortable. Like, uh, yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it's like the whole, this doesn't, isn't something usually men talk about or experience, and if they do experience it, they don't talk about it, so it's like, I think they're feeling like, uuuh, like I don't know how to express this. Right.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, and so far these men seem like they're just the kind of men that are like, like kind of people who are like, okay, like, I don't know, like you're a little weird, but I'm just going to leave. Like they don't seem like they're, they seem like they're more just like confused. They seem like nice guys. We're just like, what the fuck? But I'm surprised he didn't pick up the wrong person that would.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And that's what I was picturing driving gloves. That's what I was picturing before he even said it. Does he actually have a website that you've stumbled across?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well and also, his, that lock thing reminded me of the collector, the bone collector.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I got caught, like, with the no, cause I gave.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause I genuinely like, cause the way these men are relaying these stories is doing it in a way, like a humorous way, like they're trying to be like, what the fuck, like this guy has a significant amount of coke. And it's like, there's this being funny.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But like, when you listen to the actual like, what's happening, you're like, this is terrifying. It's fucked up. And what a traumatizing experience. Like, this guy literally was trying to contemplate


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Whether he was gonna die if this guy veered off the road to kill them both, or if he could attack him if he needed to, like, these are things nobody should have to deal with.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, you can, it's such an immediate difference. Cause that is such an escalation. Like the other ones were like, yeah, he seemed like he was getting a little like, you know, flushed and breathing heavy and like a little excited, but that is like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's so close. Cause you'd think it's like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Almost like imprisonment in some way, like almost a kidnapping thing, cause it's like he's not taking you where he said he would take you. Right.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it's like, you know that these people are coming out inebriated likely, so they're not going to be in their best decision making moment.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He picked the most vulnerable time, place and like victim essentially.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It seems like that's part of it, that like they're not consenting. I know, I was just gonna say, I think that's part of it, is that you're, the power dynamic, I think, is part of it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That you can't get out once I hit that. It's like the, give me your number and I'm going to call to make sure you gave me your number. Like there's a power thing here. And then it's fear based for sure. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's weird too that like you did the podcast and you didn't name him, you didn't like out him in any way and then he kind of just outed himself.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's someone you don't know. Truly, cause here, like we said before, like hearing their thoughts after the experience is so like, I'm like, we get it. Like I'm just like, we get that. Like that's exactly your thoughts after a weird experience. And like, don't blame yourself.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes, with the sunglasses. And pulling the leather and everything, like you can just see this whole scene. And the sunglasses and the- Setting up the camera. Yes. I hate it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Which hopefully they're able to like, just be like, that was a weird moment in life.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause there doesn't need to be like, contact. It's like this guy like, yeaah. That's so traumatizing. Absolutely. Yeaah. Wow. Wow. What a story Jordan.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh man. That's another one that's just nuts. I know that's another scary one. Yeah Jordan, you have wild stories. You do. But we're always down to hear them. But that's why we welcome you back all the time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And we hope you keep listening, and we hope you keep it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Man. First of all, I have to let you guys know that we're bringing you in behind the close curtain. We're going to open that curtain up like Wiz. Uhm, you guys are fulfilling something for me and Fran. We've been beefing for years now. I guess years. Whenever I came on and guested, had a great time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And have the full quartet here. And so I want to say thank you Fran. Please speak and let the people know that you're real.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I felt like you guys would enjoy a conversation about a medieval tool of, uhm, execution and how things come to an end. You know, some, one day people just stop planking. Like one day a guy did a plank,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so this is the execution version of that. I felt like this is, it's always cool, it's interesting to see when trends...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's up to you guys, of course, but we do have a podcast called Affirmative Murder, so if you like what we do here, come check us out. Please. There's more, there's room for you on the train. Trains? Trains, podcast of trains.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, the guillotine's inception, guys, like many things in modern history, is steeped in like, rich white man smoking mirrors. So, one day, this guy named, uhm, his name was Joseph Ignis Guillotine, this was in 1789, he comes into a room and he's all like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And leave that stuff in the past. And then he left the room and two less socially important people, poor people, then did all the hard work and invented the actual guillotine. More specifically, their names were Tobias Schmidt and Antoine Louis.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, but the device is called the guillotine, named after the rich guy named Joseph Ignis Guillotine, who just had an idea


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If it looks like a duck and it quacks like a duck, it's a fucking duck. So shut the fuck up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's a very deep cut reference. I don't know if anybody shot the ghillie head, cause I used to work, I worked, I worked in the Abercrombie umbrella, so I was, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, but as we all said, all jokes aside though, the guy, even though he just had an idea, the idea was, you know, steeped in some level of dignity and not torturing people. So the criminals of France's past should really thank this guy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So uhm, the guillotine or guillotine went on to become the symbol of the French revolution because the people saw it as the great equalizer.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because of the, you know, the ideas behind its inception, people believe that whether you were royalty or you came from the lowest of the low, the guillotine was the great equalizer. Like everybody who commits the same crimes, they die by the guillotine. And this was enforced by the fact that, uh, Louis XVI and his wife, Marie Antoinette,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, you know, we'll see how the Super Bowl goes, but uhm, hopefully it doesn't end the way that Marie Antoinette and Louie went out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, for the next hundred years though, the guillotine shined as a symbol of France's altruistic and dignified stance on capital punishment.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And over time, the public sentiment towards the execution style for high crimes, it started to shift. And this really kind of, really took place in, during World War II, when Adolf Hitler was killing thousands of people publicly using the guillotine.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But it was more, it was malicious. He just, if you dissented against the regime of Adolf Hitler, he would behead you publicly. So really people were like, oh this isn't this, um, equaling force in the caste system, it's just a torture device. The idea that the PR team around


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, the guillotine when it first came out was super strong. It was like Steve jobs level where they're like this. Are we cutting your head off? Yeah, but like it's, it's we got wifi.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] At least we're starting to have conversations now around capital punishment and you know, and those kind of things, but it took.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Kinda the turn of the century, you know, the industrial age, people driving cars and stuff to go, slicing off people's heads in public is kinda fun. Kinda gnarly. It's a little hardcore. I don't know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So just a couple decades removed from World War II, the nation of France was so far from the barbaric stances that they had so long ago that this idea of a falling blade being this distinguished


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But a lot of countries in Western Europe don't kill people as a form of punishment.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, but yeaah, this became an outdated concept in France, uhm, during the 40s and 50s and 60s, it started to become like this conversation that was had, like, should we be doing this? If we really are the dignified people that we say we are, is killing people in the first place even dignified at all? It's like a knife. Maybe not.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] All of that backstory brings us to the final time a state sanctioned guillotining or guillotining took place in France, which was in the year 1977.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hilariously, in a sense, the same year that Star Wars and New Hope came out. So there was this really big leap in technology as far as movies go, and also France was still like, we cut people's head off. Yea, we cut people's head off.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Fun fact, as we discussed before we went uhm, live mics with you guys, the last public guillotining actually took place in 1939 when a serial killer named Eugene Weidman was beheaded in front of a crowd of hundreds.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, sure, like if it's like, if they use like a, um, a Norelco razor, it probably is.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, but so uhm, so this last, this last one, this last public one, people were going crazy. The, the, the beheading took place at like 4 a.m. and people lost their shit. They were throwing their sausage sandwiches. They were living for the moment.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] These people had a blast, man. They were, you know, they were losing their shit, they were throwing stuff, like they lost their mind. It wasn't like the people lost their mind at this barbaric incident. It was so sick and awesome.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is why the government exists, to protect the people from themselves.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The government makes the decisions that the people would never make because your guys are animals. So they had to do that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Exactly. You know, also off topic a little bit, I was having a discussion with my girlfriend the other day and we were talking about how that 50 Shades of Grey moment, like we all just kind of looked back on that, or we did look back on it and was like, people were going to the movie theaters in droves to like watch Smut.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, uh, let's get back to this guy named Hamida Jandubi.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, so I guess, for whatever reason, by the time Hamida was 20 years old, he was like, fuck all this blue water and sun.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Every restaurant down by the Eiffel Tower sucks, like they're all like, they want you to leave quickly cause it's touristy. So you really gotta go outside. It's like, it's like New York. You gotta, you don't go to Times Square. Okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it's, it's, yeah, the, the French disappointment, if you go with the tourist mindset, if you don't, if you go and you're like, oh, I went on TikTok and I was like, places the locals go.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I had a great time, but the Louvre, uh, the Eiffel Tower, all these things, you're never gonna get close to the Mona Lisa. The Eiffel Tower, you look at it, but it was closed, like you couldn't go in it because they were doing construction. Everything is just, ehh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Were you that disappointed? Yeah, really? You're like, wait, I thought that like this was like Amelie. Everybody thinks it's Amelie. Yeah, everybody thinks it's that. They're like, it's going to be like a romantic, beautiful dream. Yeah. So it's not, it's never that. It's just never that. Um, but anyway, so Hamidah had moved to France by the time he was 20 years old and he was living and working in France as a stock boy at a grocery store.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He also had a job as a landscaper, but in 1971, he suffered an accident on the job.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] One of Hamida's legs was caught in a tractor, brushing it horribly and causing him to lose two thirds of his right leg.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Remember that two, that uhm, two part movie thing that came out with Rose McGowan when she made it a gun?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, so yeah, so unfortunately Hamidah did lose about two thirds of his legs and he did not get a cool gun leg. He just, they gave him a prosthetic eventually. Uhm, he struggled to find work for years after this accident and this is when he started to take up drinking and using controlled substances. And in 1973, he met a young woman named Elizabeth Bisquette. Okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, so these two met while Hamidah was recovering in the hospital from an amputation because at first he lost a leg, but then he had to have a couple of amputation surgeries to kind of clean it up and, you know, all that kind of stuff. Get it, get it where it needed to be. And while he was sitting in the hospital, he met Elizabeth Bisquette.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, when somebody's in their darkest time, they're still like, how can I manipulate and exploit people like that? I mean, really like this person is trying to be nice to you while you're


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Not even half, more than half of your leg is gone and while they're talking you're like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm gonna fucking manipulate and just, uh, trick you so bad. That's really-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I'll tell you what, if, if, if, uh, Obi-Wan Kenobi had looked down on Anakin Skywalker while he was all burnt up on that lava mountain, and, and he said like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, so he fell down that classic uhm, tractor accident to sex trafficking predator pipeline. You know, it's an easy one to fall into, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Jandubi was arrested for, um, her filing a complaint against him, but he was released not long after because it was a complaint. There was nothing, nothing criminal to charge him with. Uh, upon his release though, Hamida lured two other young girls to his apartment and forced them into prostitution for his financial benefit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it's actually really interesting, the times, uh, in France, like, if, if anybody's seen Moulin Rouge, this was the time of the madam, like, there was a lot of, like, brothels and madams and...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Her signature was she would make all of the women that she forced into sex work give plastic surgery.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, and so in France, this was a very popular, like brothels and madams and all these things. And so he kind of tried to follow that same pathway, but he was using his apartment. And uhm,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He wasn't good at it, but he was still a man who was manipulating women. He was still making women be under his control. But that was his idea when he couldn't get a job as a stock boy. He's like, I'll become a pimp or whatever you call it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So like I said, Jan Doobie is now seeing himself as some kind of a pimp and his arrogance as a man


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Didn't let him let go of the fact that Elizabeth Bisquette had filed a complaint against him, so...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But they all work at a brothel form, Adam. It's just different levels of it, I guess.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's evil. Well, men are scary, you know, and that's one thing, as a man in true crime, you don't really, as a man not in true crime, if you don't have conversations with women, you don't really know how scary men are when you're a man.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But when you hear a woman go like, oh, walking down the street, like, what men are thinking about.