[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No wait, what guy? Here by the, like there was this guy, I think it was off the coast of Australia or something, but uhm, it was a heavy tiger shark area, and uh, he was diving and I don't remember why he got left by his boat, they couldn't find him, but he like swam, I don't know, two and a half miles back or something?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Did he have flippers? Uh, uh, he did. Oh, that'll help. Right. But he made it back in record time because a tiger shark was following him most of the way. Yeah, it'd have been kicking a little hard too. Yeah, but it didn't, uh, didn't attack him. That's so scary. Oh, could you imagine? Could you imagine if lightning was... He'd have been fine. He wouldn't even have hurried.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Was it one? I thought it was more. It's been a couple cases of you seeming like, I don't know, luckier than the rest. I stay back and...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh fuck, okay. I heard, I didn't know that was like the whole time and that's- No, it wasn't the whole time. No.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're extra heavy compared to their counterparts? No. Not the case? Not the ones I bought. Gotcha. Like it's like a... You have to weigh them before you buy them. Sorry? Hold them in your hand and kind of give a little shake. Oh, I know. I know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But they just seemed heavier, like it's a heavier rubber or whatever is involved. Uhm. This is MPR shit right here.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] QuetzalQuest? Oh, just QuetzalQuest. The Q sound. Or, or we could do, are we finished? Are we, like, our, uhm, boss fight? We could call it that. What's he talking about?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is from the Zombie Dog 7 Days. So this is from M.P. I did a lot of the top comments, I was lazy. I was a little, like I, Niebz didn't bring any, but I brought some, but they were up toward the top, so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Um, next comment from LowresGamer. I just liked how this was worded and I got a chuckle.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I know I gotta chuck it. But when I read it now, it's not gonna do it justice from my initial reaction, but uh, I love how they took the tree's pants and night vision goggles. Agent's pine and maple now cannot complete their mission. Right? Like, it was...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is from Joseph Kelly. Easy way to get leather. I've heard this from a few people. Inside certain buildings are black couches. You can harvest them for a boatload of leather.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, here we got a, uh, this is from Rebecca on Also Zombie Dog, so last one on that video. Uh, I was hesitant on this series at first, but I trust you guys, so I kept with it. It's really starting to take off. This game has a lot more depth than I expected, and you guys are as great as always. Shout out to whoever edited this one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Love you guys. So, just, uh, I mean, that first episode, obviously it was like, this looks like shit, blah, blah. But, you know, we had confidence in it. We wouldn't have picked it if we didn't think it was great. Right. Oh yeaah. And it's fun to hear people like, oh, I guess this is


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That was a good dig. I like that. I mean, it was quick. Oh, thanks. Uhm, uh, oof. Uhaldingengel. That's his name. Uhaldingengel. Minecraft Kneebs. Don't kill animals. Fireman Kneebs hits kitten out of tree with a big ass hammer.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Anyway, this is from the Quantrix on the same video on Firetrucks. Simon is the best part of scrap mechanic videos, especially because he criticizes their builds while never doing any himself. Yea, it's true. But that's why I want him there, personally. He adds that level of snark.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That was it for my comments, but I did have a point I wanted to make. Not that anyone was bitching. I actually didn't read any comments on the, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What was the game that looked like Call of Duty-ish?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Warface. Warface. Yeah. Like, uhm, sponsored video. If there's like that sponsored video hate, like just know that we will only choose sponsored video options every now and then if it makes sense for our channel. Yeah, and that one did. It was like, okay, it's a first person shooter. A while back.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, and that one, obviously, it's got the first-person-shootery thing. And I had fun playing it. You looked like you were really good at it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you can still, yeah, enjoy it without spending, you know, money, all that money, you know, cause, uh, if it's nearly as good as a $60 game and you can get away with like


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just, uh, fun little fact. Who's, uh, the crazy guy in GTA? Trevor? Trevor! You know, he's got, uh, apparently, I don't watch Walking Dead anymore, but, uh, he's got a part on that, like pretty consistently. Oh, the actor Stephen Hawke? Yeah, did you know that? No, I didn't.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh yeaah, he's getting his work on, but a fun fact for at least Neebs and I, our friend Cullen had a part in Walking Dead last season or season 4 or something like that. Oh really? Yeaah, I didn't know that. And uhm, apparently alongside whoever Trevor's character is in Walking Dead,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is our old friend Tracy. Dinwiddie. Oh really? Yeaah. That's awesome. Isn't that cool? Small world. We're talking GT, I think Trevor, and everyone's like, oh shit, our friend's next to Trevor. Oh, that's fun. Yeaah, she's like a tough bad girl. Right, that's great. With the bad people's.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I remember making one. You made one, huh? Yeaah. I was saying to Absro and Simon, maybe we should go the otter way. And that didn't make it. I think I heard that too.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Not because, I mean, unless he picked the same one, it can't be. And we could have with you, when you don't pick anything, don't do your job. You could, uh, random comments with Neebs.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There was a point, I wish, I mean, there's probably a particular video, a specific video, where Simon


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Officially was like, fuck this. Like the turn happened. And just yea, completely.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cut you out with the puns that he cut out. That happens. No, but it wasn't puns. We recorded one, uh, that night live. I think, uh, Ada Hop could actually test to that maybe. Was it better? Was it really good? There was some good improv that night on the night, but uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh lord, sometimes I can make that, that water drop sound.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That scare, that scare was legit for me when I saw it first. I felt it. It gave me a little, one of those. And uhm, yeaah, that underwater, that was awesome.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Your zombies were way out in the middle. Yea I guess so. It seemed like they knew exactly where you were going and heading that direction. All of them. At that moment.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like when you guys got up on shore, when that shot happened, after, you know, they were all heading your way, it seemed. Anyway.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Star Trek got old. We need a wide open. It's not a survival game. Survival games are


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, it was like, without any games, uh, initially, it seemed like it was like $7.99 or something?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, but you're gonna use it a lot and get a lot of entertainment out of it. Exactly, Fallout 4 is a very robust game. Oh, it's huge. And Skyrim too, Skyrim's gonna be on the uh. And Skyrim, yeah, that option. Uhm, like, my Switch, because of Zelda alone, like, that has been paid off easily with the amount of time. It's investment.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's worth six grand now. Like entertainment wise, like, you know, consider it like any other form of entertainment, going to movies or whatever. I've definitely got my money's worth from that fucking Switch. Just because of Zelda. So, what's that?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, usually when you guys have like those part like I don't get the invites to the birthday parties and stuff You know, I know I don't have kids. Yeah, every kind of crazy


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I don't believe it, but yeah, remember the, when we went to eat, the, uh, that cockroach situation was, the place is a good restaurant with really good food. And cockroaches. But it's in, it's like an historic building. Oh, I've heard this story. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So anyway, that's it. Let's end the show. Put the name of the restaurant down in the description box.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My next car's gonna have two things, lights that turn off on their own, and a cupholder, and lemme tell ya,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Moving on! Can I answer it real quick? Oh, yeah. Because the mouths get moving and sometimes they're off and sometimes we shift audio and then it gets confusing. I saw that addressed.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Of all of us, just like, oh my god. Duralis, you've played less GTA than anyone here, right? I would imagine, yes. Yeah, so you're really just being thrown into this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, sometimes we do things that have been done before. Or are they doing it after we've done it? Yeah, I'm gonna look it up right now. No, you shouldn't waste time. You can keep talking. Oh, okay, sure. Okay, you got another comment?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, they started doing, uh, PUBG cartoons. Well, there you go. They've got topics, uh, kinda like Battlefield Friends do, where they touch on, uh, Survival of the Fittest, Danger in the Deep,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I like, uh, I like how this one is uh, no dialogue, just kind of physical comedy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What's in the description, I think. Okay. I don't know if it is. I don't think it is. No, it's probably not. I saw a lot of comments like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Your one today wasn't bad, did you make it?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yep. But that's not enough. There's so many channels out there that do good content. They get nothing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But watch, watch that video. Yeah, what? Yeah, link to the video. You know, it's really about creating good stuff and marketing, like you gotta get in front of eyeballs. And what sets you apart? Collab.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Make sure when people come to your channel, they know it's you because you have a, what do you call those things up top? A banner? A banner. A banner. A header. A profile pic, make sure it all matches. It's all branding. If every Pepsi can had a different label on it, you wouldn't know, remember what to drink. It's gotta be the same.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Man, even just a BAM, leaves gaming, gone. Exactly. Or we could just make a song with our mouth. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Boobity bop bop, boobity beep boop, beep bop boop.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, so I can run with this. Go. But take that now, in this video, and do the intro with that. See how it looks. And they're gonna be like, what's this all about? Brilliant.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I like it, it's a good theme. Are we still doing comments today? Yeaah. Yeaah. Are you done Apsro? Uhm, I can be.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And that's okay. It's like a new game. Five karate chops today. The most karate chops I've ever seen out of him. Well, we used to spar. Yeah, but you didn't use the karate.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hey, I like this, I like this flailing idea. What if you could put something on people's elbows where they won't bend and then just go at it? Just straight arm swinging.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So there you have it. And it was supposed to be October.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, like we were still doing mic checks, and we got attacked.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, and we didn't even have footage of Kudor dying, it was just the, uh, the, uh, the text. The text on the screen. Yeah, right. Had it been a mission? Yeah, we were doing something.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, I was expecting a lot of that. But there was mostly like, I see what you did, well played. It was more like... But also in the video you said what you did.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What was that, what was that Nibs? This day is like, since, isn't it? From Mexico or since?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Look, I sound like I can sound like I speak a lot of Spanish if you don't talk to me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, that's like saying, uh, I'm really handsome if you squint. Yeah, like if I just say the words I know, I know a lot of words. You do, I think you're great.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Or like your cup if you don't have a cup holder.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, like a car that takes three, four, five people to drive. To make it anywhere.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Our rescue mission took one guy to stabilize and one guy to drive. Right, right.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My biggest thing is cannons don't aim for crap and the cannonballs take so many resources to make. Damn. I think we have to build a trap. Yea, how do you tranquilize a rock?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well you'd have to have someone drive for you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I wonder if we could, yeaah, we put Duralis on the back of a Parasur, and then put it in Wander, and then just see where he ends up. Yeaah, drummin'. That's fun, we should do that regardless of...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, probably Simon should be on it, huh?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Write that down, let's do that today. Well, we don't go out at night on a mount very often. True. Okay. But we need to remind ourselves, because we forget things like this. Well now, now we'll know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You could have said, I'm going to go check the drop. It was like, one of those. Can I? The fact that he said, hey, Needs, can I do this? It was weird how you worded it. Okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's very different when you, when I play a game at home by myself, you see so much more than when you're in a room with four or five of your friends recording something. You're really distracted by each other.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'd like to see a game where, because in that game you're supposed to work together, but I don't feel like each role has enough to do. It doesn't seem balanced at all as far as responsibility. Like I'd like to see more of an action-y game where one person's


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A sniper and one guy's like a close quarter guy and one guy's got heavy bombs and suppli- Maybe like a battlefield but where you're not moving so much. In VR you mean?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, you're in VR, but each one has a different role that's constant. In Star Trek, you just sit there for a long time if you're captain, doing nothing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It could be because when you're editing, you're used to seeing a mouse cursor on the screen and you're like, ah, that belongs there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I did that yesterday. I'm working on a GTA right now where I get the Rockstar Editor Cinematics and then I was looking back through my footage and yep, there was a whole sequence I had a cursor on it. So I had to redo it. Beautiful. Gotta lift that shit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But a lot of negative feedback. More than, more than usual. But if you look at the likes, there's way more likes in this video. But the reoccurring thing we saw in this comment is from Chakas? Chakas? Something. Uh, this gameplay looks like shit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Why not go back to making videos on Scrap Mechanic? You view whores. Come on, Simon. Take over. These guys are getting old and boring.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, uh, a lot of comments were about how the graphics are bad. Why would you play this when there's so many other games? Yea. I don't know of any other games that can do what this game can do. As far as digging, is that terraforming? Terraforming. Building, like you have so much control over buildings. Pretty robust system there. They were mentioning a lot of newer zombie games.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] To me, they're just walk through the hallways and shoot things, you know, really, like, this is such a big world with so many biomes and so many unique existing buildings.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it's not because they suck at graphics. They had to make a decision from what I understand. Do we want to have more customization of the terrain and the land? Yea. And you give that up for graphics. And they're a smaller team as well, right? Yea, but you can't dig a hole in Ark. Ark can't handle that. Right.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It looks prettier, but you can't just say I'm gonna carve this whole mountain out and build a base where this mountain used to be. Which is an awesome feature.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. Sellouts. Sellouts. Bunch of pansy faces. And then the next comment we got a lot of, and this one is from Boracueaboy58. I love it, but sad not seeing Simon in the game. Kinda miss him getting pissed off, but do please make more.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's funny though because episode 2 will be out when this video comes out, and it's like Thicc dies and he thinks it's Simon's fault, but the funny part is Simon's not sure if it's his fault or not.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, next time we play, we'll just put it in debug mode. We'll have Ada Hop in there spectating. And nobody can... Yea, cause you know Thicc will try to spawn some stuff for himself. No!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I know, we just got him. It was like, oh yay, we got a new member of the family. Which happens a lot on Aberration. We could have pampered him and fed him.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It will on your screen on 1080 maybe look the same once you upload it though YouTube will allow it to have a much higher bitrate and it'll look clearer and better even if it's still the same even if it's still just upscale.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, I've done it on my channel and it looks great, it's just for a longer video it sucks.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It might actually stream off of our hard drives easier while we're, uh, editing it than...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Something like Shadowplay. Okay. Uhm, but if it gets too big, then it'll like, it'll actually slow down the hard drive. It'll, it's, there's not enough bandwidth and that'll slow us down. So if we hit like a nice sweet spot, it actually might not affect us that much, especially with all these nice high end computers we have. I'm about to upgrade mine, so it's not going to be in too soon. So yeah, I think we can, we can try it soon.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I assume it's for comfort or... Mountain climbing. Practical reasons. Uhm, sure. Should we ask him?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know in Spanish, uh, the word for fingers is dedos, and for feet it's dedos del pie.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wing, wingtip, uh, five toe. Was there a wing on each one? Each toe? There should be, if there's not.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yep. We should do it. You should just start with agreeing with me from now on. Yes. Save yourself some time. Just be right.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Brava. Brava. Bravas. See? Bravatini. Bravatini. See? Alright. Let's go around the room. Yea. Duralius? Yes? That's Duralius. That's me, hi. Thicc? Hello, my name is Thicc.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What? Is that a question? Are we supposed to answer? Cause we're just kinda...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. Poetry? Poetry right in the middle, the intermission. When we focus on the Duralias section, there'll be poetry. You know what, we'll call it a poet-treat. Just for you, Vic.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And we know what it's like, I mean for me, growing our channel and growing- Yes. I mean we-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Been at this since 2006. Yeah. And it took a long time to get anywhere. Yeah. So, you know. Yeah. If we can go up to someone and say, hey, check this guy out and give him a chance. Yeah, it's like buying someone's cheeseburger and fast food.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So if you have a channel where you can help people out and you find someone who you like their content, you can give them a hand. That's great.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right. I want you to read them. This comment is from eight years ago. Alright. No, it's from DRT77 and it's from the Subnautica video. I don't know if I ever step my bounds. Can I do whatever video I want? Of course you can. I need to understand what inspired the tapeworm story from Simon.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's vaping, hold on. Do you even know what I'm talking about? He looks like he's thinking as well.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well did you hear a story because you said your friend


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I just think as much as hospitals charge for crap, they shouldn't be getting your tapeworms for free. They should be coming off your bill.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But here's the thing, when you get new tires...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Which one? I don't remember. Yeaah. Uhm, it's from KSherm64. KSherm says, the internet is in an uproar over the question of the century. And the question is, do you guys wet your toothbrush before or after you put the toothpaste on? What do you guys do after?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I used to do before, I used to, I used to wet before, then toothpaste, now I think it's better to do after.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Huh? What are you, Tom Cruise? You Tom Cruise from Cocktail? Well the, the, the toothpaste comes out of the tube. Flipping the thing, squeezing it from two feet above the brush.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] With my fingers, I use them. You wanna know what I do? I use my, my actual toothbrush, the handle part, as like a roller, or just like sss. And you think it's interesting to tell people this. I think it's a life hack. And you think...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I have another comment. This one's from Mace2Face. It's on the GTA video. Uh, you should know which one, man. I do, it's the one that I cut. Yeah, that was fun. Yeah, everybody knows the name of that one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When you go to eat a snack, when you press the button- Did I pick this comment? I don't remember any of this. Oh god. Uh, when you press the button to- Oh!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Now I understand, this is in the game. When you eat a snack in the game. Yeah. Okay. How did you not understand that? Cause I was thinking about myself eating a snack in real life. And you picked this comment and you make fun of me being dumb? Yep!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, imagine you're in GTA and you're pulling out a meteorite or something. Yep, I never play it. You press the button to eat it, you will only take one or two bites, but if you hold the button, you will continue to eat the same snack for a lot longer, therefore giving you more health restored per snack. I hope you guys see this. Love your work.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That qualifies, right? It's life hacks. Okay. My next comment is from BrodySpain. Hello Brody. Hi Brody. Hi Spain. This is from Ark, the most recent one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Puerto Bronto? Si! And the comment is, how many years has Neves played this game and he still


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hits things with the wrong tools. I was watching the video, and I saw myself harvesting metal with a hatchet, and I'm like, what are you doing, Niamh? Pull out the pickaxe! Like, even when I watched it, I was like, am I really using that tool? Like I know, recording day.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I just picked the wrong tool. So, and there's tons of comments. It wasn't just Brody. There's tons of comments. Like, why is this guy using a hatchet to get metal?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, my last comment is from GTA, the Valkyrie video, and this comment is from Thomas Bullhose.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I like how they didn't know about the main front gun on the Valkyrie. Anyone? Anyone else read that? There's a lot of comments. Apparently the seat that Simon was in has like the most lethal gun in the entire helicopter.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I'm glad we didn't use the best weapon in the game. Right, yeah. Well, it worked out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's all my comments. Nice. Well I enjoyed them. Yea they were great.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I bet your shots are still in Rockstar and you don't even know it. I think the cursor's fine. Okay. Wish you had standards. I think it's a thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, the next comment. What? Listen, I wanna say, in GTA there was a cursor, and it's like, so, it's just, just peeking out of the right corner just a little bit. Yeah. And some, uh, Dick Tracy saw it, and put the time stamp on it for everybody to see! In the comments. Oh, that happens.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A lot of people were saying that the distractor could be, uh, spoiler or sidekick.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I just drove the truck around while they killed everybody.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I did like half of it before I knew that technique and then I did the second half. And we also learned that we could take that footage home.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You can take Rockstar footage from a computer once you find the files and put them on another computer. Cause I was having to drive to the office to get these shots.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Or at least in this country. Right? Jim, you don't hear that. No, yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sure, there's a lot of gems overseas. Yeah. Jim Wong. Over in Jim Bobway.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I like playing those modes. In what game? GTA. Okay. Like, they'll just have all the gang people come at you, or the cops come at you. Yeah, it's like a wave mode. Fight them off and wave.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It gets repetitive and it gets harder as it goes. Last time I was playing that, I kept trying to use my launcher rocket thing. What do you call that? A rocket launcher? A homing missile? A homing missile. There you go. And it never would hit the helicopter, ever. Do they need to be further away? Was it too close? I don't know, yea, I don't know what that is.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How many people in the heist? Four. So see, that's kinda what happened with Doraleus. Oh I know, that's why- We started Humane Labs, and that's a four part heist? We had four videos to cover that I think? Something like that, yea.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, there's a couple things I want, and once I get one, I'm broke. Well, do the one, and then save up for the other. It'll take me like four years to save up for the next thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Shark Cards wouldn't make any sense in Red Dead. No, yeah, no, it's gonna be, uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, shock cars doesn't really make sense in GTA either, does it?


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[Assistant] I just thought that was... Have you heard anything? No. So we have no idea what this is gonna sound like. No. No, probably sound like...


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[Assistant] Yep, he went to bed too early, then he woke up and he couldn't go back to sleep.


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[Assistant] A tile is like a piece of the map that you can duplicate the tile. So you want a tile with a bunch of trees or a big hole in the ground.


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[Assistant] And I realized we needed more, so we have to go back and record some more stuff for it.


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[Assistant] And I've never gotten good at PC. Like I, I started on console and I got where I thought I was pretty proficient and then we switched to PC and we haven't played a whole lot on PC so when I get on there I'm very, very sloppy, very sloppy.


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[Assistant] I can't strafe and spot at the same time because the same finger does both and then I can't hit three and four way up there every time. Sometimes I don't hit the right three or four.


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[Assistant] So as soon as you logged back in, you were deeper than you should have taken that thing.


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[Assistant] If you don't like one of our video series, don't fucking watch it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because other people like it. Listen, vote with your view. If you see a video come up and it doesn't look like a game you're interested in and aren't interested in the series, don't watch it. Because we make content on this channel a lot of the times just based on the views. If the views are good on a series, okay, we keep doing more of that. Our audience likes that. Give us a signal.


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[Assistant] I get em mixed up all the time. Me too! Is that a Bungie reference or?


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[Assistant] There's a great video. I think she's, uh, it's the Nostalgia Chick. She has a wonderful video on Milo and Otis. Go watch it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh yeaah. Oh yeaah. No, we would all be. Like, every one of us, I think, has made a piece of shit here and there. Sure. Alright, I'm jumping in. I'm jumping out. It's like Double Dutch.


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[Assistant] Yeah, I didn't really care for it. Mostly because the narrative was shit.


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[Assistant] Nah, yeah, I had fun. I think it plays great. I mean, Bungie, Bungie knocks it out of the park when it comes to actual gameplay. Oh, absolutely. And I've heard the second one does have a better narrative, but I'm cautious to jump in because of the burn from the first one. And that's just me. That's a, that's a...


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[Assistant] No, Terraria is like a 2D Minecraft, I guess that's the best way to describe it. Yeah, people love it. No, it's got great reviews on Steam. I've never played it. I mean, it's a deep game. It's one of those ones, it's a time commitment. But from what I've seen, it looks really good. But it is that classic 2D sprite game.


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[Assistant] Let's love each other. Yep. Pull down his pants right now.


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[Assistant] My wife does not play the type of games we play. She plays like candy crush and shit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right. I guess when you log into a server, when you create a server...


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[Assistant] And think you were like, it didn't make the video, but you found another cave while you were off on your own at that farm. Yep. Same thing. Nothing. Yeah.


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[Assistant] I don't know what, five, six times? We had to play, we didn't play all the way through the mission, like, you guys kept getting lost in the prison.


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[Assistant] Like it was not very obvious to you guys where to go next. Not off the bat. You kept getting caught up in the rafters and you guys would like go out of bounds. Oh god. There was a lot of silliness going on that day.


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[Assistant] And a lot of times those, uh, the pickups usually are just to help with transitions. To get from one thing to the other. Because a lot of times you go like, oh crap, I have 20 minutes here that's boring, I'm gonna cut this completely out of the video, now I need to merge this part and this part.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, the guys that made Sausage Party, we can make this, we can make this movie. Oh god. Sex toys. Yeah. Sex toy story.


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[Assistant] One of the gals posted on there some saddening things were going on through her life. I posted a gif or gif with Neebs doing the dip dip. She instantly replied back saying that their videos brighten up her day.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But Nikki, thank you for the comment. It was very kind. So this is also from the first GTA heist from Christopher Race who says,


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[Assistant] Whatever happened to you guys? You used to have sexy montage music, but now that you don't put it in, I'm going to watch pumpkin pie be racist. And then love.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Matt Parker just wants to know, are you guys okay? There is a hurricane in North Carolina. Are you okay, Neebs Gaming? Tell me please. Yeah. Uh, yeah, we're fine. That was uh, tomorrow north of us. And it's actually out in the ocean, so we're good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, I guess because last week, or whenever this comes out the week before, didn't we only have like three or four videos come out that week? There was a, there was a scarce week.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, just slightly. But uhm, but that was because Simon and I were working on GTA videos for this week, uh, which should have a ton of frickin' videos coming out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, content's coming! Which kinda leads me into this comment from RookieODST who says, uh, the longer you wait for the video, the better it is. Neve's Gaming Logic.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, well yeah, it is one of the things, uh, the more time, like with GTA, uh, usually, like with Subnautica, I can get a Subnautica video done in a week with GTA, like, I could get it done in a week, but I, it would be nothing but work, work, work, work, work. So I would love to have a week and a half on them, and that's what I've been doing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, and that's the thing, that's something I always like, whenever I put out a video, I got to have that in my brain. I have to have that, I'm proud of this, like this is, when people watch this, they're gonna be entertained. Like if I don't have that feeling when I put the video out, I am depressed for the rest of the week. Right. Until I put out another video.


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[Assistant] I enjoyed it all the way up until the variant, like once, once the villain put that stupid ass helmet on.


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[Assistant] As soon as that damn helmet went on, it was just like, alright, I can't take him seriously anymore. It's like when that Spider-Man movie with Tobey Maguire, as soon as Green Goblins put the mask on, I'm out. I just, I can't relate to this. This isn't a villain to me anymore.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's not out yet. And then next, next year, isn't it? Next year is going to be the first infinity war, I think.


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[Assistant] So that's, uh, that's Marvel's, like, everybody coming together. Really? Guardians of the Galaxy, you name it. Guardians of the Galaxy, the Avengers, uh, like everybody. Alf. Yeah. Alf, they're bringing him back. I think there's an Ant-Man 2 coming either before or after that.


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[Assistant] What's that? I am too. I think it might be too much. Like Avengers was a concern. I would be concerned. It's like this, this is the one they've been building up towards. Yeah. So like in my head, and you know, who knows where it's gonna go, but if any of them are gonna be good, I hope it's gonna be this one. Because like this is the one that's been in planning phase for so long.


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[Assistant] They, they need to, I know they're trying to make Thanos as the big bad guy. To make you really hate him, an Avenger needs to be killed. Somebody needs to die. Captain America. You gotta raise the stakes. Captain America, Iron Man, somebody. Kill the arrow dude.


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[Assistant] I like him. I enjoyed uhm, I think it was the second Avengers. They had a bunch of stuff just at his like house. Yeah.


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[Assistant] There's two movies. Two movies in it. I think so. Originally it was Infinity War part one and part two, now I think it's Avengers with two different names, but my concern with Marvel though is gonna be after the Infinity War.


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[Assistant] I'm gonna have a hard time caring. Because like this is gonna be the big battles, like this is what it was all leading up to. So now you got your major climax.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Everyone saw Rogue One? Yea, I really liked Rogue One. I heard it was shitty.


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[Assistant] Except for the basics. I think that's why I didn't like it that much, is like you had to know Star Wars.


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[Assistant] What is a Star Wars movie? I, well yeah, I know, but it's like, it's not a cohesive narrative. And you have to know the wider universe to really enjoy it. If you know the wider universe, as you, you know, Thicke does, it's like, okay, it is enjoyable.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But it doesn't work on its own merit as a film. And some of the characters are really shitty. And Forrest Whitaker has a weird tentacle sex monster. I don't understand what's happening.


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[Assistant] I never got into, uh, I saw a few episodes of the Clone Wars that were like really good. Yeah. But I never got into the entire series. I know it's beloved. There's tons of them.


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[Assistant] Fats got a bad rap, but fats, like the good fats are extremely good for you. Yeah, you need them. Like Chow Yun fat. Sorry?


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[Assistant] It's really fun to picture what they're thinking.


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[Assistant] It's like one of those fucking freaks out there that hides his cum in things and enjoys people. Like I'm just saying, there's some fucking weirdos out there.


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[Assistant] Okay, so here is Walker beer. I wish that story was better.


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[Assistant] I don't watch it either. I watch the first four seasons. That's a lot. And realize that almost every single character is unlikable.


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[Assistant] Really? Like, you slow, yeah, every fucking one. Like, there's the redneck dude with the crossbow, which, that'll annoy you alone. Like, that being your weapon of choice in zombie situations is stupid.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When we have better technology out there. Well what would the best thing be? I think a baseball bat's better than a crossbow.


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[Assistant] Bingo. So you should be a believer that there's some tasty bugs out there.


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[Assistant] There's something about being a fucking sperm producing sphere. There's probably a lot of protein in there.


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[Assistant] This is gross, right? Does this taste right? This just means it's gross. Pretty much. I'm out. Watch this. Even if someone says, smell this, is this bad? I don't even do that. That's poop, right?


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[Assistant] If it's questionable, I don't even wanna- I got no- this is- you're gonna fucking maybe eat it, so you deal with it, you know? Ugh. Wow. You have a bad nose. I am selfish.


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[Assistant] Well, just making such a big deal out of it as if that's what's gonna make or break the film is kind of ridiculous. It could make or break the film. Yea, it possibly could. Anybody, you know, I mean there's countless talented people out there that could direct a good fucking Batman movie.


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[Assistant] And I think a huge part of it is, uhm, having worked on, uhm, Iron Man 3, like, crew-wise.


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[Assistant] Witnessing the workflow, there's like this overwhelming confidence that you can feel from the big ups. Like they are so confident in their product. I can imagine on like Batman, Superman or whatever like they're always second guessing every fucking time.


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[Assistant] And what's weird is like the amount of time, the amount of months, fucking sometimes years in the case of shooting something like that being in the script and nobody was like, this doesn't really make sense. You know what I mean? Like those holes are, they're mind blowing to me. I wonder if it's one of those things where


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[Assistant] I'm finally on season 6. Oof. Are there zombies in that show? There are. White walkers and a dead army. But there are likeable


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[Assistant] Cause we don't have the fleet of trucks out there to lay salt and all that shit. So like, that was the thing about growing up in Minnesota is you could get a foot of fucking snow and you might get a half hour delay at school. Just for, you know, once that army of trucks gets out there. Cause they're used to it every year.


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[Assistant] But still, the ratings are pretty amazing, with the exception of one model.


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[Assistant] How could they not? You gotta fucking test it out. I saw that Amazon like got the patent or something for uhm, hovering factories or warehouses. What are you talking about? A hovering factory? Alright, let me back it up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Amazon is exploring the use of giant airships to serve as mobile flying warehouses that could help the online retail giant deliver more of its goods by drone.


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[Assistant] The drone would float or glide most of the way. Fulfillment center. And then turn on it's propellers to nab, uh, wow, yeaah. A glider? I don't fucking know. Alright, so should we end on a bad note? Didn't we? Nah, let's end on a good note. Alright, give us a good note. I told you about the, uhm, laser hair removal I'm having done.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's right. Yeaah. That's kind of interesting. It is. It hurt like a motherfucker. I'm getting my neck line. Uhm, so I don't have to shave. You want to shave?


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[Assistant] People call him Patches. But you know, fuck it. The idea of not having to ever shave my


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[Assistant] You have to do it, you can't get the laser shit once your hair goes gray or white, it's gotta have that color. If you have a blonde beard, you can't do it. I think you might be screwed.


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[Assistant] No, and you can't do eyebrows either. What about cubes? Maybe they'll do, like, uh, the lady that did mine, she did herself.


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[Assistant] Like her, uh. Her crotch area. Her crotchy area. And she said it wasn't pleasant, but she had to like kick her leg up, you know, on a table. She's just a funny visual. She is. She was wonderful. An open book.


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[Assistant] And that helped. Oh, and the worst, every zap, cause she'll do like seven in a row, sometimes ten, five, depending on the sensitivity of the area. But every zap, you smell that horrible burning hair smell. So that doesn't add to it.


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[Assistant] Uuuh. Yeah. Monday, right? I guess tonight will be my birthday stream, technically. Of course this is gonna be... He requested a kale.


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[Assistant] The person you are trying to reach is not a real person.


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[Assistant] Oh, I like that a lot. Was that good? Yea, and I actually just saw Sully too. Really? It's interesting they made that into a full movie, but uh, there's, it had its moments.


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[Assistant] I haven't, no. Does one of us want to play Alexander? Just kinda. Appstar is good at voices.


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[Assistant] You, you put up, you put on a new weapon, like, every time.


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[Assistant] Unless something's radically different, and I mean radically different about it. I wonder whether, I mean, yeah, I'm curious what the difference is gonna be. Yeah. More, more Peter, Peter Dinkles? Well no, they dropped him. I know. It's like, yeah, like that was another weird


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Thursday night. Thursday night. And I had a bit of a bender last night. Really? Yeah. Yeah. What'd you, what was, what, what? Well, uh, I ran into a couple friends downtown when I, I went to grab some dinner and it just turned into a thing and then, uh, my buddy owns the Irish pub downtown. Um, found out it was gonna be my birthday coming up.


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[Assistant] So today did actually hurt a little bit. Oh man. This morning? A little bit. More than, uh, usual like after like a Thursday or whatever, you know. You're getting old. Right. Things, uh, things can hurt. But it came back like it used to. They do. Wouldn't change it for the world though. I'm glad it did. It was a fun time.


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[Assistant] I find it odd for someone to be aware of that transformation and then continue to do it. Yea, yea, that always weirded me out. It's like they probably, uhm, if they had say 10 beers that night, let's just say, and around beer 2 and 3, they're in this perfect place, good times, laughing and then it goes into I'm an asshole. Like that seems like that's kind of like the night of-


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[Assistant] Oh, Casper! Yes. Yeah, that's me. Yes. I, uh, I'm the Casper. Well, I don't work for Casper.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Casper mattress, so. Yes, you do. So it's a damn good mattress. Right. At a very good price. Well, yea, of course. Well, why, why of course? They didn't know that. Okay. They have supportive memory foams, uh, award winning at that, uh, with just the right sink, just the right bounce. Like you like your women.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] With over 20,000 reviews and an average of 4.8 stars, it's quickly becoming the internet's


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, get $50 toward any mattress purchase by visiting www.casper.com forward slash Neebs and using offer code Neebs. Okay, because of us. Neebs, yea. Neebs, any EBS, right? And, uh, I've had mine for, uh, I don't know, a month or so? Yea? Yea, and I sleep wonderfully on it. It's a damn good mattress.


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[Assistant] There's a, what's the, there's like a pretty massive fee, I'd imagine it varies, but for if you puke in like a taxicab. As there should be. Yeah, I agree.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's kind of fun. The, uh, was it last night? Yeah. Witnessed, um, a very inebriated gentleman across the street and saw him, you know,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Michigan had like the biggest. Yea, they had a great incentive. It was huge, but almost maybe to their demise, I don't know. We actually have a rebate. Yea.


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[Assistant] It really, it really does. And that's why Atlanta's just killing it now. It's insane.


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[Assistant] So I think there was what, 14 or 16 cuts maybe? Something like that?


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[Assistant] I cannot imagine. Yeaah. Cause I've done a bunch of crew work. So, like I completely, when I watch a movie like that, I'm amazed picturing the entire- Of course, like the entire picture.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's cool. Very cool. I shouldn't have put that much time and just love and energy into something. It's nice to have it realized, you know?


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[Assistant] That's how my whole writing career started. Dude. Wow. That's awesome. That's poetic.


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[Assistant] Because the beat down is expected. I mean, rarely does it happen, like, out of thin air. That's the point. You gotta frickin' fail.


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[Assistant] If you've got a killer DP and a badass first AD, you're gonna be fine. You know. That's what I'm hoping. Of course.


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[Assistant] In two things, I saw you answer one question, like, about maintaining your voice. Because that's very important, because it's what sets you apart. And the second thing, we need to buy an Oscar to pass around the office here, if we can do that.


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[Assistant] I guess it's like you did the tough part already. So it's like, this is like basking.


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[Assistant] I wanna hear about it. Yeah, me too. Thick and I were not there.


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[Assistant] There are animators there I would like to meet. I've been fans of their work for a while. Yea, there's a lot of good names there.


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[Assistant] You're looking at the schedule. You guys are here at this time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I'd like to watch it. Just to see what you guys did.


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[Assistant] It'd be nice to fly, if the event starts Friday and Sunday, it'd be nice to fly down Thursday, leave Monday.


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[Assistant] Welcome to this week's Niebska- We don't do this weekly, do we? No, it's bi-weekly. Welcome to bi-weekly Niebska-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The bush has been here for years. Something got into him and ate him.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sometimes bugs are just seasonal, aren't they? Remember a few years ago we had these little brown looking ladybugs? They were everywhere. Oh yeaah. They were awful. And then they just disappeared.


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[Assistant] You know what's crazy? Some people don't know what kudzu is. Right. You know what's crazy is this isn't fun. Yeah, that's fine. Crazy.


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[Assistant] First year it sleeps, second year it creeps, third year it leaps. Really? Fourth year it steeps. Something like that, like it grows real slow, and then all of a sudden BOOM! It's covering the power lines.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, real quick, say, if you had to go to one concert. Yeah, out of the two. Or, Newman.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hey, when you fly, make sure you have a bottle of water. I wanna confirm this. Or a bucket of water.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think my solution would have been, cause you hear that all the time and you wonder, how do they always overbook these planes? This shouldn't be that common. It shouldn't be. But it always happens. And if it was me, I would think, you keep raising the stakes, thousand bucks, whoever jumps off, like to me that would be worth a thousand dollars and have to pull somebody off the plane.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, see, uh, a fact like that would change the outcome. Of course.


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[Assistant] That might help a little bit with, you know, if you just start a channel tomorrow called I Hate Blue People, and put up hate videos, you can't put ads on. You'd have to get 10,000 views first.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We had a bunch of videos get claimed as possible inappropriate videos and they turned out they weren't but they had words like fighting in it or I don't know I think I can see both sides of the story a little bit yeah if I have a product I don't want to be on


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I hate video, but the same side of the coin, it's like, most people that use YouTube know that sponsor isn't going, oh I like this video, it's just a random kind of thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's a good way to lead into this. Listen, I love this service. Because when I'm in my car, I'm always listening to something. And with Audible, the app is free and it works on iPhones, iPad, Android, and for Windows phones. That's cool. Most people have those things.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Man, you're knowledgeable, Simon. Yes, I am. So guys, you can't make more time, but you can make the most of it. Turn your commute into something more with a free trial at Audible. Go to audible.com forward slash Neebs to start now. Yes!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Who gives a shit? Who gives a shit? We give a shit. We care. Who cares how she sleeps? Okay, well aside from the not being able to sleep thing, for the lady it looks awesome.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Andy Serkis. I love that name. It's his real name, huh?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I like to, after I work, I try to, uh, either while I'm eating dinner or before I go to bed, do something. Well written show, I think. Did it finish at four? I don't know. I don't, I haven't looked to see if it got cancelled or if there's gonna be another one. But you give it a out of ten. I enjoyed it. That's not a number at all.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I went to get a sandwich the other day and I liked the lady that works there. She's like, did you go to this AFS? Well, I'm like, I don't like azaleas. I was like, we have a lot better flowers in this town because I got a tree that just bloomed.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it was just white! It was beautiful! Is it dogwood? It looks like a dogwood, but the flowers are smaller. What's it called? I don't know, it's not a spidaporum.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Fins to the left! Here comes a hurricane! Manurecain! Salt!


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[Assistant] We should, yeah, we should, uh, put one of the little ones beside it just to give a good size comparison.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, it's a, I mean, like any, it's a ratings game. It's an eyeballs game. Yeah, of course. I used to work for a local news station and yeah, anytime we had a hurricane, I hated it. We had to go wall to wall. It's like, we're going live 24 hours.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's like sports now. It's like, my team wins, yay, your team loses, fuck you. It's like, that's not how it's supposed to work.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. You were interested. I was interested. Then you got crazy talk. That's Elon Musk saying it though. We're in a video game! No, shut the fuck up, Elon. No we're not. No. This is where we're at.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, I love him. I think what he's doing is great. Uhm, I don't think we're in a fucking video game.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But you don't know. Half those guys. Half those guys. Most of them. Watch Scientology. Most of them don't really believe it's just what they're fucking told to do.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Epsro. Yeaah. You got any video game news? Ooh, the uhm, the Switch is coming out. I'm getting one on Friday. Comes out on Friday, right? Yeaah. So we're recording this when, uh, we're, this is the, the, February 28th right now. That's a weird name.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because you can switch it from your TV to a tablet.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Now I wanna see that, that it's like, that's gotta be a skit somewhere.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Damn right. Now, did anybody here get, uh, like punished physically at school? Yes. I did not. Uh, when I went to school in the south.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You have a library at your fingertips, which could be a good and a bad thing, like that article I sent you. Yeah. Cause I was reading this article the other day about, you know, how is this, you know, having this constant access to a phone and information, how is it affecting our brains?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, and, and you know, young kids, you know, there's just that constant, you know, there are kids out there that have anxiety because they're not constantly connected, you know, they can't put down their phone. And it's like something that, you know, it's, it's hard for, I guess that's the thing, because we grew up in a time where that didn't exist.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I mean that's how I started with cartoons. I was inspired by the television shows I watched.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, I've had situations in my life where I've discovered a food, and then for like the next two weeks, that's all I want.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, well you do it, Thick. Hey everyone! We have a special guest on our podcast today!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] See, you say that your channel has the most bizarre name. It doesn't, because it's pretty self-explanatory. No one knows what a Neebs is. Yeah, we're like a Quibble Cup. What's a Neebs? What's a Quibble Cup?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're making this hard for him. You are. Yeaah. Now Simon, you, before the podcast, you actually told us how many views they had total?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You guys have some really awesome content. I've watched a lot of it. And a question that's been burning inside my mind is what color is your Lamborghini?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] While he's looking for that, let me just say this. We haven't met Chris, but we've met Tina. Tina and Daniel.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Life, you know, life happens. Guys, watch your wallet, there's a poor person in here somewhere.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, Dralis is in Hawaii right now. That son of a bitch.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So he's, uh, once he comes back, we're going to start recording some audio for it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We talked about that with uh, Blue Drake. He's another YouTuber. He was like, there needs to be somebody out there that can mod Skyrim. There is a cartoon mod for Skyrim. Yeah, yeah, I remember that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Now, I have a question. Have any of the actors or filmmakers of the films that you parody ever comment on it, like on social media or anything like that, good or bad?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's funny. Cause it's food and an explosion would blow in your face. A micro pig wearing a tiny raincoat and booties. Hilarious. Yeah. Ha ha ho. Uh, poor life choices.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, Kung Pao Chicken's not soup. Yeaah, it's, it's, it's a science.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, what's Batman's guilty pleasure? Uh, lactation.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I looked into those back on the braces. I looked into those Invisalign braces or whatever. Uhm, those motherfuckers are expensive.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Stand because he was an OCD to an extreme level to where he would come out and go.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like what? It's like the dog food stag. It's like, no, no, you gotta, you gotta pull out the edges like this. You gotta make it pop. And I'm like, what the fuck are you talking about? Like he was, he was insane when it came to just


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, see, I'm like indifferent on Dubai. I mean, it looks cool with big buildings and everything. Like, I would, I'd like to do more natural stuff, I guess.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Closest thing I have to that's pretty nerdy, but, uh, you guys all played, uh, rock band. Or I know a couple of you played rock band, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I'm gonna read between the lines on this, and that is just a comment that she is saying to be nice. Just move on, find a new gal, and do your thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This segment is now called Moore.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well here's what we know about Rockstar, is that they know how to make games right. They're pretty good at it. So I trust whatever they're gonna do.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The fucked up thing is is that, that guy was on the plane, his dog was still in the park, he fucking left it there. Wow. It's sad.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He must be quite a bit taller than McElroy because that, it looks like he's using the children's putter. He even said that too.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I had a small stint in professional sports in the arena football league and they tell you, fans are gonna talk shit to you, block them out completely.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They had that ice bucket challenge for ALS. Neebs, you had some ideas about other things that they should do for awareness. The poop your pants challenge.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Real quick, real quick. I got one thing. Uh, we were at, uh, my sister's in-laws, like great great grandmother's funeral.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wonderful lady, she lived a long, long life and you wanna go out like that, uh, having a positive impact on people, but there was a older lady at the funeral where they were, you know, they were given the eulogy and her phone went off and her ringtone, this is an old, old lady, her ringtone was Girls Just Wanna Have Fun by Cyndi Lauper and she could not figure out


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I wanna be frozen in carbonite and pass around my friends and family to display on their homes. Oh, yeah. Week by week? Yeah. That'd be cool. Yeah, and eventually like end up in, uh, I don't know. My garage? Yeah. In App Store's garage.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, she was doing something incredibly talented, uh, you know, playing guitar, doing the loop thing, the looping thing where, you know, you play a line and you do something. Yeah. Anyways, she is incredibly talented. I thought, why the hell not send our people over to someone who's entertaining, engaging. And it was a lot of fun.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, let's move on. It's weird that you dive into water and catch food though. I don't know why.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'll go first. I just want to throw out one. Okay. There might already be a podcast called this because it seems a little bit obvious, but the escape pod, just to play on words. Hmm. I feel like it's too close to escapist.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, no. I just, yea, the escape pod was the best one that I could come up with. I'm searching it. How about this? Go. Five P's in a pod. There are five of us. That's sooo. And we do like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Elephant belt. I feel like you're just getting like, you know those things on Craigslist to prove that you're not a robot and they give you two words of spell? We're not robots. We are not robots. We are not robots podcast.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wack. Five in the Pink? Wack. Woah. Yeaah. What's that? Better yet, Five in the Stink podcast. Five in the Stink.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Look up what a week, what a week podcast. Now we'll go with that one that you had. What was it like? Isn't that something?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know what I'm laughing about. When you think of a pod, what do you think of? Peace. Yes. I think of Star Wars. I think of those little storage containers. I think that's brilliant.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] All the time. For shrimp? For shrimp. And you call it shrimp? Yep. Like ones you eat? Yeah. My dad and I down at Airlie Marina. Did this back yard growing up in Ohio.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Prawns are, yeaah, I don't know the difference. When I lived in Australia, they called them prawns and they were huge. And then they had a thing called the Balmain Bug, which looked like a lobster without pincers.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Always sunny. Always sunny. My grandfather used to hate eating squirrel. Apparently he ate a lot of squirrel growing up and he was just like, I don't want everyone to have to eat a squirrel again.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's like this really tough green plant that you wouldn't think you could eat, but if you boil it long enough, it just grows everywhere like a weed. Big in the south, super cheap, it just grows out in the yard.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I like sweet and savory. When I was a kid, I used to get like a Snickers bar and some hot fries. And I'd take a bite of one and a bite of the other.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like I knew this girl, she was, bless her heart, she was sweet, but like, you could tell she was just strange, but she would order like, fried okra, and pull all the breading off the okra, eat the breading, and leave the okra on her plate. Nah, see, that's fucked up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, my grandma made pickled eggs. I like a vinegar flavor though. I love vinegar.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] She'll drink it, she'll drink it with dinner. Like a 22 ounce glass of pickle juice with her dinner.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well she just laid it all across the counter for the clerk to ring up. There's no germs on that counter though. No, just right on the counter. Everyone puts their money. Like did he have to measure it or fillet it? No, she just did it on her own. She could have put it in the bag, but she's like, there's one, two, three, and she's like laying them out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That was at a Carolina barbecue up here. For those of you who don't know, there's normally just two. It's like a four leaf clover. It's like a five leaf clover. I've never heard of this cracker.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Last time I was in LA, I ended up with somehow, uh, chocolate flavored coconut water, which was pretty delicious. I'll bet that was delicious. I didn't expect it to be so good. Hmm. I wouldn't expect you to drink something like that. It was given to me. Oh, by who? By Ray.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He said pet peeves, you said thick. One of my pet peeves is thick. For sure.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Thick, he's, hey, he's getting better. I gotta say he's getting better. That's right. But thick... I've gotten the best.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We've discussed this without you in the room, Thick. I wonder, we wondered, what made you do these things? And I thought, my explanation was, I think he really thinks the facts he's saying are right. I think somewhere in his brain he heard it and somehow it got put in the fact category when it should have been in the I heard category.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I could probably sneeze a dozen different ways. She might have gone to therapy. I could do a vocal sneeze. I can do without vocals. I don't understand people that can't sneeze without putting vocals into it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yep. He really didn't want to be there. Nope. Let's see, things that bother- here's something that kinda bothers me that seems to be the norm that maybe no one agrees with.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When you're there and everyone's working trying to stay focused, have good lighting. Put bright lights on so you can see real well. Don't have the flashing light. Instead of the flashing, just a solid good light color. The outskirts too. Around the perimeter, flashing to let people know, hey, don't come in this area. Right. But where you're trying to focus,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I make an effort not to look. Yea, me too. I keep my eyes on the car in front of me and I get through as fast as I can. You're so alone though.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, I can see why too. You get in a taxi or Uber and you're going 85 miles an hour down the highway. You just saw them three bodies we passed, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, he doesn't look in danger. No. You sure the elephant's not just going to play?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It could be all it is. They know each other. Man, that makes me so happy. I wanna be there. Yeah, either way. I'd be shitting a brick. I'd be scared he's gonna sit on me right there. I mean, that's a big animal. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, yeah, I just don't, because, Dralis, you're colorblind, kind of.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know because you're, you're color blind, but you can see color. I just can't imagine that. I mean like when you see the lady that hears for the first time, like I get that. She didn't hear anything. Now she can hear her husband or her child. Like that's an emotional moment. Maybe I'm wrong.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Correct, everybody starts at the EMT and then they work their way up to being a paramedic. And you know, EMT is a great assistance for us and we appreciate them, but there is a drastic difference.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Now I can't. This is honestly why I cannot sleep naked. I don't care, a good night of sex, anything else, I'm putting some underwear on and a t-shirt. That's it, cause you never know when you're gonna die. You never know when you're going to die.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean I guess I see this, I guess in the real world, I've done most of this in, you


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was, uhm, I resigned a couple years ago in the cop world to go back to school. But, uh, yeah, I was with the SWAT team for a while. So you are a badass. I don't know about badass, but it was a lot of fun.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I enjoyed the experience and being the first girl and the only girl on the team that brought all sorts of, uh, interesting. It took a while for the boys to accept me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] One of the guys, here's the one thing I thought was very interesting in being around men, is the amount of harassment men give other men.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When they start dating a new girl and he becomes incognito to the rest of the boys. I mean, they give them all sorts of shit and these boys were not letting up on this guy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't think it was necessarily a dog, but I think it's interesting, me being, I think a type A personality. I'm like what I've been told, I'm like dating a guy. Usually people are very intimidated by me. I guess is a good way to put it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In a mirror of selfie. Really? Front and back. Follows it by, and he's in his early thirties. He's a very attractive guy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it says, uh, I hope this, uh, picture will be safe with you. And, uh, I'm like, yeah, me and my other 30 friends that are all 40 and 50 years old that want to look at a 30 year old hot cock and balls, as y'all would say, but yeah, I'm going to show it to everybody. You think we're not showing it to people. We're showing it to people.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, you know, I let him come to my house to pick me up. He brings me back, ask if he can use my bathroom. Just, just right off the bat, okay. So I direct him to my restroom, turn on some music, get some wine, and I go to turn around. And do you know he pulled a naked man on me?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The online, just what people are, you know, saying. Sometimes it's, you know, I always say believe people the first time, they kind of show you who they are, because that's usually who they really are.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But men tend to see, women, if you put too much information out there on yourself, what ends up happening is guys use that to their advantage and they usually tell you what you want to hear and lead you down a whole smoke and mirrors relationship. So you're months into it and you're like, who the


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because I have to admit I never really, I didn't feel like I was a very hormonal person. And recently I think it came to light that I, you know, maybe had a little hormone problem. Because I went to the gym recently, ran into a guy I dated three years ago. And I broke up with him after four months.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I can't even tell you why. It was a nice guy. Uhm, he tried to come back. I told him I didn't want anything to do with him.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's building a house and I did the plate thing and you know, good for you, good for you. And then I was getting ready to leave the gym as soon as conversation was over. And from the time I hit that door, I'm not an emotional person on a normal basis. Hit that door to the time I got to my car, I break down.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So what do you think you guys would, I mean if you were all single men, and like what would you look for in an eharmy profile that would stand out?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This should be an experiment. If I do this, because I feel like, and I've been told by numerous people I'm probably one of the most complex individuals there are for a female.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah, the key for me is to find something real. Honesty, it goes a long ways and I think, uh, an individual, I think respect is the other huge thing for me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Not my thing. Problem with survival games is you spend most of your time trying to figure out how to plant a garden before you starve to death or some such nonsense. Good that they're expanding the horizons though.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, cause I mean the reason why I picked this one out is because I thought more of you were into this kind of shit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There you go. Alright. Well listen, Thicc, you're gonna like this comment. Oh, okay. And Nathan Kozak says, Can't believe I'm saying this, but listen to Thicc. Doing what? Didn't we watch the video? Because that's exactly what killed us.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, well, Joe Walden says, Dudes, uh, they all need to get more people recording, or you guys need to stay together. So, that's another thing, staying together. That's something that Thicc- That's not what we can do right now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, or else I would have no clue how to run my IFV. Thank you. I also run 25 millimeter and tow. Good setup. My favorite is the Chinese one because like a lot of Chinese things looks ridiculous. That's what made me, that's what, that's what made me say I read this comment. Uh, do an attack jet guide next please. I'm trying to get some good jet gameplay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Omniscient. Alright, anyway, uhm, I thought, I know Adda Fittler was a bad person, but we're not prejudiced. He was.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's it. So screw you, Adolf, for all the bad things that you've done, but thank you for the comment. Yep. Jay the Ostrich, we know Jay the Ostrich. We do, we know him. Friend of the stream. Uh, he comments, you guys really need to do another A-Team video with an IFV full squad. Please, pretty please.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We can do that. As long as we sing. Yeah, singing, you gotta do it. Yeah, you can do it with bicycles. It doesn't matter, just sing. Get you pumped up, get you a wreck, get you like ready. Uh, Maddie Kramer says, Hey guys, I'd love to see some Fallout 3 gameplay and also try and play the app. Thank you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] P.S. Love your videos and Simon, listen to this part, okay? And Simon, you are a really important aspect of Neve's gaming, keep up the good work.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's got the dog. Oh, it's got the dog, I was thinking of what's the other one. There's no ending. Oh no, Just Cause, it was Just Cause. The grappling hook? No, no, I don't like Just Cause. Grappling hook, stupid. Not like you'd play any of them. No, I wouldn't. I just have a video. I don't like this game. Did you play it? No. No?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, Tyler Shuford says, uh, can you do videos for console specific tactics and strategies, please? I've often heard you guys talk about tactics that you go, oh shit, we should try that, we should do that, and it would always be on PS4. Yea, and then we usually do it in there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Grave, Graveby94 says, I use red dot, muzzle, brake, target detector, and potato stubby grip, and this gun is amazing. I have the master dog tag for it needs and all attachments.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I have some quick shoutouts. Wanna do some quick shoutouts? Like AngelVO, like it's hard to have a conversation about AngelVO saying Neebs and the gang are the best, world peace bitches, but I want to thank AngelVO for saying that. Everyone say thank you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Indeed, World Peace Bitches. Indeed, World Peace Bitches. Another, uh, quick shout out is, uh, Toriano Garcia says, Hey, Neebs! Hey! Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There you go. Toriano. Hello. And, and the last quick shout out is, uh, Stephanie Casara says, Neves you have made my life 100 times better. Thank you so much. Wow.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Doing my job. And that's it. That's the video. Awesome. Listen everybody, keep on leaving comments. Have fun with it. Yea, we read them. We like to read them. Yea, we do. And if you don't, fuck off.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This was one of those nights where, uh, granted, we did stop at a bar on the way that, that kinda just sucked balls.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We were at a point where we just wanted alcohol. And it was like, oh wow, that place has big screen TVs and there's a bar, but the bar they didn't want us to sit at because our group was too big.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, yeah, that was awesome. I didn't like that male bartender. He took my drink order when I got there and uh, and just walked away and never came back. Never came back.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So we progressively got pretty damn drunk. Yea, I remember Ping Pong being involved. Ping Pong was, uh, yea, a lot of fun. But I remember when I was going back in, like, I went to the bartender.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Starts walking way ahead of us, then just starts running, and then just runs off on a side street. And I'm like screaming his name, HEY COME BACK! And then we're like, it'll be fine! Flash forward! Flash ya!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hey, it wasn't my idea just to go walking. It kinda looked like it. So I went to cancel the calories from the fried food and beer. Not bad. So yea, we got him back, uhm, apparently he went and, uh, lied down in his bed. They're on the first floor, I'm like, good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it worked out, the, uh, you know, got arrested, but the cops were really cool and they were like, yeah, he got drunk, we let him sleep it off in the cell, and then they just let him go, no fine. And apparently he was, yeah, apparently he was cool, to the point where it's like, the cop was like, hey, how you doin', and he just said- Yeah, he told us the story of how he got arrested, apparently he was trying to jump a fence in a parking lot, and failed.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They make uh, balloon hats and yours was quite lovely. It was. The chick on stilts walking around making balloon hats and stuff was bubbly.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then like just empties itself into a giant margarita mixer. Now the worst part of this stupid spectacle is it like pretty much stops the wait service.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Louis karaoke bar. Yes. The great thing about this place, giant stage, great sound.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What about that guy who, I only really remember, uh, the guy who did, what's that blonde pop singer? Taylor Swift. Okay, so I prevail.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Today's podcast about shoes? I don't know. It's about to be. Wow, okay. Before the podcast even started, we were talking about shoes. Oh, welcome to the podcast, everybody. Hey, we're talking about shoes today. It's okay if you leave.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm gonna have to take pictures of everybody's shoes. That one broad from Popeye wears the same shoes as Neebs does. What's her name, olive oil? She wears man shoes. Yea, yea.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] With a mustache. With a mustache. And feathers. And used shoes. So, can they actually extract the DNA from the tail? I don't, I don't know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] With the way things are going, it looks like things are gonna be okay. Sarkasm.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes, speaking of the show. Neves, going back to your surgery page, is there anybody else adopting that model?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You can't stuff crayons in your ears, Quince. Time to stop that habit. I heard it on the internet, didn't believe it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I would like to hear from a doctor if, you know, what's wrong with this business model or what are the pros and cons here? I would ask my mom, she's not a doctor, but she's been in the medical business for a long time. She started off as a nurse and then went into higher roles, but she's in that echo chamber we were talking about. So I think she would just side on, no, this is what I know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That sounds like it's coming from the left. That's crazy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah. Did you win? Good story too. Simon, I played that a couple weeks ago with my kids.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And you guys know how competitive I am. They beat me both times and I insisted that we played


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A third game, they're like, Daddy, no, we're tired. You win. You win, everything's fine. I couldn't believe that I lost to children. And they answered questions that I was like, how do you know that stuff? And they're like, well, we go to school, and I'm like, ha, scoff. Not on my dime. Yeah, actually it is.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Let me, I'll go ahead, cause I'm still confused by a bunch of the things, but, but, cause I'm not building stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But just like any other game, you know? A little bit of exposure to it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We were just talking about how easy the game was, like, what, which comment? Yea, last comment.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Why you guys are talking about this, I did a little research on the thing called Google. Have you played with that yet? What's that? What are you researching? The Fulton Surface to Air Recovery System. System used by the CIA, United States Air Force, United States Navy for retrieving persons on the ground.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Using aircraft such as the MC-130 involves using an overall type harness and a self-inflating balloon which carries an attached lift line.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Tanks hurt me a lot, but oddly enough, they feel much better covered in jeep stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The enemy's tickets, they're finally eroded. Congratulations, Niebs. You've just been promoted.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sometimes those things are as hard to make happen as reading a poem.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You had a couple 7.5s lately. Now, the thing is, if anyone questions, uhm, I come up with the Simon rating.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We give each other grief out of love. We rip on each other hardcore out of love.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, you're a girl because you like a game I don't play. That's it. You female bitch with your vag.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, no, but yeah, Shadow of Mordor is a casual, you can jump right in, you can fight and combat, it's fun. Yeah. Yeah. Fallout is like Skyrim, it's not, it's not one of those games that you can jump right into. But it does have guns, I don't know, you might enjoy it.


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[Assistant] Fallout already? Yeaah. I can see how somebody would do that. It's tough to put down.


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[Assistant] Well, I'm playing it twice, which is weird, because I'm playing it for the video series, but I'm also playing it at home, just like, okay, I just want to play this and do my own thing. Oh damn. Yeah. So, I'd say altogether, maybe 18 hours now, but that's combined.


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[Assistant] I'm sorry then. Yes. How do you warn, okay, because that's something like I don't think about until I read a comment when someone's like, oh shit, I have epilepsy and that fucked my day up. So if, if that did happen to you and you're not just fucking with me, I really do apologize.


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[Assistant] Yeah, go to Competech.com, find Rocket. Do a search Rocket. Yeah. Rocket, like a Red Rocket. Like Rocket Man. Like Little Dog Dick Red Rocket. Yep, that's exactly it.


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[Assistant] When we last left the Romans, they had driven King Pyrrhus back to Greece and secured complete control of the Italian peninsula.


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[Assistant] As you may recall, Pyrrhus, exhausted from his battles with the Romans, had briefly moved his army to Sicily where he attempted to establish a kingdom for himself.


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[Assistant] He found allies among the Greek colonies on the eastern half of the island.


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[Assistant] But found enemies amongst the Carthaginians who had settled the western half.


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[Assistant] Pyrrhus had been successful in Sicily but was never able to completely dislodge the Carthaginians from the island.


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[Assistant] He had every intention of widening his war by invading Africa, but a near revolt by his Sicilian Greek allies caused him to instead abandon Sicily altogether.


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[Assistant] As he sailed away, Pyrrhus made a prescient comment, the veracity of which is dubious, like every other direct quote from the ancient world, but is worth relaying.


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[Assistant] The Greek king, a veteran of the post-Alexandrian dynastic struggles of the Eastern Mediterranean, knew an inevitable great power confrontation when he saw one.


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[Assistant] Sicily lay equidistant between Rome and Carthage, and was too rich not to be coveted by both. So, while watching the island recede in the distance, he said, What a field we are leaving for the Romans and Carthaginians to exercise their arms.


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[Assistant] Ten years after sailing from Italy for good, Pyrrhus's prediction bore out and the two great powers, Roman Carthage, were at war in Sicily.


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[Assistant] Before we get too far into this, we should address the question of who the Carthaginians were, and why we call their long struggle with Rome the Punic Wars, and not something easier to remember.


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[Assistant] I don't know, the Carthaginian Wars, like we do with the Samnite Wars and the Latin War and the Macedonian Wars, which you can tell just by looking at the name, were fought against the Samnites and the Latins and the Macedonians.


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[Assistant] To start with the obvious, the Carthaginians come from Carthage, a city on the north coast of Africa near modern-day Tunis.


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[Assistant] They were primarily a trade-based empire, and by the time the Punic Wars rolled around, they were the leading economic power in the Western Mediterranean.


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[Assistant] The word punic is a derivative of the Latin word for Phoenician, and it's what the Romans themselves called the Carthaginians.


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[Assistant] So today we learn about the Punic Wars rather than the Carthaginian Wars.


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[Assistant] The Phoenicians were the strongest maritime power of their day and are remembered most of all for providing one of the first written alphabets in history.


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[Assistant] They spread their influence across the Mediterranean by establishing a series of autonomous colonies from modern Lebanon to the Straits of Gibraltar


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[Assistant] Any sense of political solidarity between the new cities quickly vanished, but economically they formed the backbone of a new trans-Mediterranean trade network that persists even to this day.


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[Assistant] In the western Mediterranean, Carthage soon became the richest city owing to its favorable geographic position located along the narrow strait between Africa and Sicily.


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[Assistant] Essentially, to get from here to there in the Mediterranean, you had to sail right by Carthage, so it quickly became a hub of commercial activity and rich as a result.


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[Assistant] Politically, the Carthaginian government was a mixed oligarchy.


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[Assistant] There was a people's assembly, but it was mostly ceremonial and rarely called upon to make important decisions.


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[Assistant] The real power lay in the Senate, a body made up of the richest families in Carthage. And the real, real power


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[Assistant] lay with a council of a hundred within the senate made up of the richest and most distinguished senators.


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[Assistant] The Senate elected the chief executive of Carthage, the Suffett, who served annually with minimal constraints on power. The only aspect of Carthaginian life the Suffett did not control was, interestingly, the army, which was left to a professional corps of generals.


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[Assistant] This is obviously a marked contrast to the Romans, who elected their executives primarily to lead their armies, with every other function serving almost as an afterthought.


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[Assistant] The other major contrast between the Romans and Carthaginians politically was that the Carthaginians did not suffer the kind of class conflict that forever plagued Rome.


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[Assistant] Access to the aristocracy, and therefore power, was based entirely on wealth.


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[Assistant] This makes sense given the primarily commercial focus of their empire.


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[Assistant] And if you were rich and lost all your money, you were kicked out. It was pretty much that simple.


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[Assistant] It is for this reason that the people's assembly in Carthage did not have nearly the clout that its corollary in Rome did.


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[Assistant] There is no lingering discrimination of new wealth by old families, so there is no real sense of disenfranchisement by men with money who would have otherwise driven democratic political reform.


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[Assistant] The way to get ahead in Carthage was to make money. Nobody cared if you made it last week or ten generations back. And if you didn't have money, there wasn't a whole lot you could do to change the system.


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[Assistant] All of this contrasted with the political history of Rome, and it left the two empires with very different world views. But this contrast was nothing compared to their views on the role of the armed forces.


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[Assistant] Military service was obligatory in Rome and the most important contribution to civil society a citizen could make. Carthage, however, had no such tradition.


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[Assistant] Led primarily by businessmen and not warriors, the Carthaginians contracted out the work and hired mercenaries to fight their wars for them.


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[Assistant] There was a small contingent of professional Carthaginian soldiers who led the army, but the actual fighting was done by Numidian cavalry, Spanish infantry, and Balearic slingers, all paid for out of the great Carthaginian treasury.


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[Assistant] There are more than a few who argue that the distinction between the citizen army of Rome and the mercenary army of Carthage was the deciding factor in the wars between these two otherwise equal powers.


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[Assistant] This is probably an oversimplification, but the distinction should be kept in mind as we go forward.


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[Assistant] Now, historians hate to talk about inevitabilities and consider it an insult when anyone starts talking about how this or that historical event was destined to occur. And the Punic Wars are no different.


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[Assistant] It is easy to say in passing that the conflict between Rome and Carthage was inevitable and simply move on, but things are never so easy.


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[Assistant] There are many, many steps on the path to war and if either Rome or Carthage had acted differently at any one of those steps, they may have indeed avoided the armed conflict that embroiled them for so long.


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[Assistant] But in the end, come on, let's face it, a war between them was inevitable.


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[Assistant] They were two economic and political powerhouses whose territorial boundaries bordered one another. What did you think was going to happen?


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[Assistant] When Pyrrhus was driven from Italy and the Romans finally held the peninsula free and clear, the countdown was on for a war between Rome and Carthage.