[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, we wanted to have our own car because we have the baby seat, we had a lot of luggage, like we were gone for a full week.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So it was like, you know, we just wanted to make sure that we had like all the, the comforts. Like we, we took like, the baby's still like having like formula, like we're, like we're weaning her. So it was good that we could take like our bottle maker and shit like that. And it was just, which we kind of needed, but it meant that we had to take a ferry for four hours as well, which was.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay for the first couple of hours, but once you get really into the channel and the, and the water gets choppy, man, everybody was feeling it. Like, except for me, I don't get seasick somehow. I get carsick, but not seasick. Everybody else is not feeling too good. And so I'm pacing around with the, with the baby because she's like really unsettled and, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then she just barfed everywhere, like multiple times, like it was all over me. It was all over the floor. Uh, some random dad from the boat just appeared out of nowhere with.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I feel like, uh, like an old washed up YouTuber and stuff, you know, like I've been around for a long time. Holy crap, like multiple times per day, every day I was away, I bumped into people who recognize me, like in, in center parks and in and around center parks, like Longleat and stuff too.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's crazy. Like, I don't know, I don't know how, but it just, it still happens.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, maybe, but uhm, yeah, surprise, like, it's weird, sometimes I'll go somewhere and nothing, you know, and you're just like, oh, whatever, like, I don't even think about it. And then other times I'll go somewhere and it's constant, and this trip was like that, it was like every day.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, you get clocked in the subtropical swimming paradise changing room when you're in your bathing suit and you're letting it all hang out. That's, uh, that's an interesting one. Yeah, a couple times.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Man, we had a quick one yesterday and I think lightning actually struck like, uh, close to where we were in town. It sounded like a bomb. Oh, it's so loud, yeaah. It was immediate too. You know, sometimes you see the flash and then seconds later you'll hear the rumble. This was just like all at the same time. It's crazy. It's crazy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know, my only experience with any of this stuff is watching uh, Rescue 911 with William Shatner as the, as the host. Never heard of him. And uhm, and somebody, somebody got struck by lightning while they were standing under a tree.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It splits the tree in half and splinters it out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I guess so, but when you're in that situation I can see how it could happen.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Don't think about it that much. If it was really pouring and I saw a tree, I would just think, I'm probably not gonna get struck by lightning, I'm just gonna run and shelter under that tree.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, but you're holding a bit of metal and you're in the middle of a field. When they hold the club up, is that what you mean?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do you think anybody's ever been on the green and they've held their club up in the air and it got struck by lightning and it supercharged them and they're like now watch


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So all of a sudden it's like somebody's watching you but it's the Sims and you've been, uh, censored out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Nah, it wasn't Sid Meier's. This was, this would have been around the same time, 90, 91 or whatever. He did have colonization though, and Civ, Civ 1 he had as well.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think Interplay published the first Fallout game, did they not? Was it Interplay? Interplay were pretty big back in the early 90s, but they have also vanished.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We used to play Monkey Island, Day of the Tentacle and Wing Commander, all those games. But then when he got home from work, he was like, off. So we had to get off.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And he would sit there smoking cigarettes, playing all these war games and stuff. But because we were like, you know, nine, 10 year old kids, we were obsessed. We just wanted to get back on. So we would sit there watching and play all these games waiting for him to finish up, you know, go off and make dinner or whatever so that we could get back on.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes, same as more PC, like I had consoles, but PC gaming was when I was really interested in gaming and it was always from, it was always other people's dads that had all these games and stuff, right, that we would just load up and play. Like one of my friends' dad had all the Leisure Suit Larry games.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And we, like, we weren't really supposed to play them, and I don't know if you remember the old Leisure Suit Larry games, but they had the, uh, the age verification thing at the start, which was obscure, like, 50s and 60s references, like, uh, general knowledge questions. About things like presidents and shit. Yes, yes. So you'd, you'd figure them all out and guess them. It was like playing out of a suit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, but then from playing the Leisure Suit Larry games, we got into playing Space Quest, King's Quest, like it was, a lot of these games would lead into like other games that we would try to pick up and play and stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was fucking so good, man. Wing Commander 2 especially, like, again, we were 10 year old kids, so we would arrange, like, his mom had, like, a work from home office, she was like, uh, she was, uh, a stay at home.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But she was also an accountant, so during like the like, you know, tax time, like April or whatever, she would do, uh, she had like a home business sort of thing, but so she had this office and but we had all these chairs and stuff in it and we would arrange them like the cockpit of a


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Of like the, the spaceship and we would like role play and pretend we were like ejecting and stuff like that. Fuck, it was so much fun. Sure. Yeah. Well, I mean, when you're like 10, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Holy shit. Well that was like, he would get that for Christmas, you know. Right. I remember he got Monkey Island 2 for Christmas. We were little kids, but we were really excited too.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, and then for the whole Christmas break, every day I'd just go to his house and we'd just play, play through Monkey Island 2, try to figure it out and stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like game, yeah, the puzzles and the gameplay itself aren't great. Usually like the story is, is, is pretty bearable, pretty funny. There's some funny jokes in there or whatever, but then, but also it's like, you know, it's, it's, it just depends where you're at at the time. Like it's like subjective, right? Like your age, all that kind of stuff, you know, like those are, those are, those are just like mega nostalgia for me because we, we always look forward to new, those kinds of games coming out because we just worked through them together and it was, it was good fun.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, there's some, yeah, there's, there's, there's been some, some good ones. There's a new Monkey Island coming out like next week, 19th. There's a brand new Monkey Island coming out by the, by most of the team that made the original games. So could be good, could be bad, who knows.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're not like, they're not like gamer games, but they're just nice like experiences, right? You just, you just fumble your way through them and it's just whatever, you know?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was. Monster, 3D and all that kind of stuff was towards the end of the 90s for sure.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But the whole lead up to the game releasing with like the, uhm, the work hours that people had to put in and all that kind of stuff. It's just insane, right? Like, they're under a lot of pressure because it costs a lot of money to make the game.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And a lot of it is unlocked once the game is out, right? Like people get their money back when the game starts selling, so there's always a lot of pressure to push something out the door. But on something on that scale, it's incredible that anything gets made.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Let's say the Half-Life franchise, for example, you've got Half-Life 1 and Half-Life 2, which are that, right? They're really fine-tuned, good, single-player experiences, right? So, for a franchise to, uh, evolve past that, they'd have to add more stuff to 3.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But it wouldn't be, uhm, as, as good as it could be, right? Because the, the idea is that the first one was, was good. It was a success. The second one was good. It was an enormous success. So the third one should be good and like just a out of the park success, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sometimes they set out for something and that just changes halfway through, you know, like if you, if you go back and you look at some of the great games, you know, the classic games, they started life as something completely different to what they ended up as because especially, especially when something takes a very long time to work.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, on like say like five years or whatever, your team could change. You also, you're, you're also dealing with designers who are designing a game at the start based on the stuff that they're playing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then that changes halfway through, right? So they might get up to a point with the system and they might be like, this isn't gonna be fun. This isn't gonna be engaging. We didn't plan this out properly. Also, I've been playing this game and it's awesome and we should


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, it changes all throughout.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The idea for Overwatch originally was a big...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, MMO, like sim style, life, lifestyle, but you were a superhero that went out and.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I remember reading about the guys that made Angry Birds, for example.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, whether you like it or not, it doesn't matter. It was, it's a big, it's now a big IP. It was a big, big game. Uh, mobile, they've got arcade games, movies, everything now, right? But these guys made like 30 games before that, that went nowhere, that did nothing. They were just not good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Abandoned. Nobody was interested. Some of them were published. They didn't sell. You know what I mean? Like they've got a whole raft of experiences behind them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then Angry Birds, for whatever reason, right place, right time, had the right ingredients, hit. And it was huge.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] At that size though, performance matters, right? Because they have people investing, like, constantly, so they need to appeal to those people, and they need to be able to turn around to them and say, well, the last game we made sold this much, so come on, where's your money? You know? So, if they have disappointing sales,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That is a problem for sure, because people will lose faith and not want to do that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I think, I don't think that happens as much as people think. I think, uhm, I think when you, when, when you're somebody who likes to create, uh, games and stuff like that, it runs its course, right? Like, the Among Us guys were like that too. Among Us, funnily enough, got popular three years after they just stopped development on it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They released this game, it didn't do too good or whatever, but then found its popularity much later on, I think.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just from people streaming it or whatever, but now it's huge now. Like it's, it's maybe it's not huge on Twitch, but man, go to a toy store. There's fucking Among Us merch everywhere. It's insane. Like they must've made so much money off of it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just a small team too, like, I think there's only three of them, so it's like-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know if it's the greatest, but it's probably one of the most popular.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hard. I don't know if you've bought a computer recently or at all. It used to just go up in numbers, right? But now it kind of goes sideways and everything has like, it's very difficult to tell.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And everything has like more cause or more like, I dunno, it's just hard to tell what is- I think they like to switch it up sometimes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I feel like this is just less robust. It is quicker, but less robust. Maybe I'm talking out my arse.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because if YouTube doesn't work out, I think, I'd love to go back to do some filing, you know? It's a relief to know that's out there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, they're professional financial criminals though, they're like sanctions, you know? Yeah, they're allowed to be, that's a good point. Yeah, they're like the economic hitmen of the world.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] She's got like, calloused old cowboy hands. She's got cowboy hands, yea, for real. This is an email from Jesse.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean the amount of effort that you have to go through for a horse. Imagine like if your car took a shit, you know, you'd have to like fucking tidy all that up and every week and clean, you know, groom it and like, you know, look after it and talk to it. And other stuff too.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There was a lot of that at Dr. Simon Clarke's wedding. Uhm, did I tell you I went to that? No! I went, I went down to, to Evan, uh, for the, for the, on Saturday, lovely summer day, a month ago. Nice, nice. Uhm, and yeah, he, he had a whole...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Whole mix of people there. I think this is what you get when you are more socially inclined. A doctor. Than me. And yeah, and so there were just tons of, tons of interesting people there to talk to. And it wasn't like, it was a young crowd as well. Any meteorologists?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're obviously the standard family members, but I don't think either family was too extended with


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Guests that you can't, you know, all the people who are like, uh, who are all these, you know, you bring in all these extra hangers on that you don't really know. I'm not a fan of that, really. The extended family that you haven't seen ever, sometimes. Oh my god, yeah. I'm not gonna invite someone to my wedding that I've never met, my god.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Super well done. I've been through a lot of weddings, partly because I used to work at a hotel that did weddings. And so I would, I would be a waiter and we do like four weddings a weekend, you know, two on Friday, two on Saturday kind of thing. And they were all like carbon copies basically of each other.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Getting married in their thirties and by the time they're in their thirties, they've come out of their shells enough to do a wedding that is probably low key, but traditional. The thing is like, it's not usually people, it's rare to find a couple that are both completely introverted, you know, cause how do they meet each other in the first place?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I think that the social pressures of family and friends and other things force you to do a normal wedding, right? Because most people have normal lives, normal jobs, normal family and this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] These guys are bored in the jury room, you should keep them entertained, but I would bring a book with me to these things. I wouldn't want to have to be forced to watch Jurassic fucking world.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, you've had a good time riding a horse, and now it's time to shovel the shit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, I get the impression that it's like, do you remember that stuff with Dream, or whoever, who was getting like, or that streamer who was basically doing Minecraft but


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so that was, I guess, I think that's a similar thing to this hands and even thing. Like he's just too much of an outlier, um, with his moves, move styles, um, compared to like the optimal inverted commas moves. But this is the world we live in now, you know, maybe play a game that, you know, um, isn't, isn't like solved, you know?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Maybe chess isn't solved, but do you know what I mean? It's uhm, it's certainly something that is, the computers are better at. So like, why are we bothering? Why are we interested? You know?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So she had a, so she had this big ring on her finger, and people are claiming that that is a vibrating thing. I think it's mad. So what they did was they looked into this scandal quite deep, and they did find one thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] One of the staff members actually stole fifteen thousand dollars of chips off of the table.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think when you're new and fresh, like you said, like, and high-minded with your, you know, morals and your principles, you've got these ideas that everything should be better. And it should be because obviously every time you make lies in the press,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Publishing things, you know, that are wrong, that, that does, that is, that is wrong, definitely. And I, I feel like, but as you said, as the guy in the email said, it's not his decision and he has to eat the shit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, oh well, you know, we blaming, you know, the scapegoat, you know, the guy that


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because at the bottom that's what happens, you know, you're gonna, you're gonna get the sack if, if it all is, you know, you're gonna be, the guys who told you to do it aren't gonna get in trouble, you know, because they'll be like, well, it was your decision, you were the journalist, you put your name on it, whatever. Right, right. So, so you gotta be careful, I think, always. That's why you just gotta keep, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But they don't really have any modern tech companies, you know, they're not, they're, they're known for old school industry. And so when it sort of all came up, it was this huge thing that everyone was all excited about and they didn't want it to be a scam. But of course it was, it was, it was a, it was all a bogus.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Agencies, you know, they had like ex-Russian operatives, ex-Libyan secret agents, you know, all these kind of criminals effectively who were doing very dodgy stuff behind the scenes trying to keep


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And in fact, Financial Times was continually sued by Wirecard. So I think honestly, in the most modern way possible, I think investigative journalism is the hardest place it's ever been, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's so easy to hide stuff or just spin stuff, you know, away from it being, or just, just like them being attacked, like them not having the, you know, people not really seem to put money behind investigative journalism now, you know, or it not being worth it. You know, everyone's like, oh, we'll still take away your advertising.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's a, it's a, it's a tough job anyway, like even some other people who


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That is really, really funny. That is so loose.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Listen, you should consider a name change. You're young, you know, that's, Nigel's going to follow you around your whole life. You know, it's not, it's not, it's not got good associations here, dude. I'm just saying like, you know, think how, think, you could be called anything. It could be called like. Ash.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's got the big teeth and he's like, it's like a classic toffee nose kind of.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think that any female version of a male name that's less, like, it goes the other way too though, right? Like there's certain names that are more female and then there's a male version of them. Geraldine. Right. Geraldine's a good name, I quite like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think, I think it is like a thing where it feels like a lazy name, right? Or, or like the Nigella. I guess I don't associate it with Nigel too closely actually. It's not too bad. It's not obvious. It's something like Louie.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Christine or maybe Chrissy? Yeah, I don't think Christine is necessarily a bad one either.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You are starting to sound like a stripper though.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Communities that have been really fostered. Look at this Wikipedia article for the Union Pacific big boy. It's giving me like excitement. It's got a four foot eight and a half inch standard gauge.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'll be unlucky for everyone whose emails I read out. Shall we start with probably the most boring email that I think we've had? I think so. This is from, uh, Mr. Waffles. I mean, this is, this just, I'll tell you why this made me laugh in a sec.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I just like, a water booster set, it just sounds like the most boring thing ever. It made me think of the Box Factory episode in The Simpsons, where he goes, he takes the kids on a school trip to the Box Factory, he's like, remake a number of corrugated boxes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I don't want to go into that. Let's not even speculate. You'll find out why. Too many episodes ago, you were talking about strange traditions, namely Christmas traditions, from different parts of the world, and this is their experience. I'm born and raised in Norway, but both of my parents are from Iran.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Where the audio is in its original Czech language, except it's lowered, so one Norwegian guy can dub over all of it by himself.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think by not having animation that's like good, you could just bosh this out in a few


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I got a job at an underground mine. My job title was Roof Balter. And he drilled 8 to 20 foot bolts into the roof to prevent small to large sections of coal falling.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, interestingly, when I did the MRE streams, I learned a bit about how they do the rations, and a lot of it is designed to bung you up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, so this is, this is a good one. I'm gonna have to drag this, I hope I can drag this picture to Discord. Uhm, this is, uh, from Jordan. I was scrolling through Facebook and saw a post about a man who exposed himself in a park in Australia. Right. Uh, and they saw a composite sketch of the perpetrator and instantly thought,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The boar is striking in resemblance to one of us. Let's see if I can just drag this over here. Hang on, I'll have to save- To one of us!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] On the shock and surprise and possibly the fear of the person that they're exposing themselves to. So if you think about it, if I approach a group of young women and whip my Tadger out and they will scream and run away, that's quite a powerful feeling, isn't it? Where you feel like, my penis has terrified these women.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Let's be perfectly blunt, sexual organs, if you're just looking at them on their own, they're just kind of boring. Yeaah. You know, they're not the most attractive part of a person, generally speaking. No, but I mean like, if you look at-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, I mean, people go around and do that crochet bombing of fucking post boxes and shit. Crochet bomb some cocks. Why not?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So we're talking about games, that's good, because this email kind of ties into that. This is from Jasmine.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, writing in about, uh, discovering what makes you passionate in work and trying to do that for a living, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm a tattoo artist, it's been my dream career since I was a teenager, because uhm, Jasmine's obsessed with drawing, uhm, and is a dream job for a lot of people I know and work on. Whilst I absolutely would not trade it for the world, especially as I worked


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We have changed the way we think about gaming as something to do in our free time and we're always thinking a bit in work terms.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think the issue is that a lot of what we do is that we make content around games, you guys more than I do obviously making actual like videos and stuff like that. If you don't seem to be having fun, people notice that because none of us are particularly good


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The question is, uh, it's unoriginal, it's essentially ripping other people's content and putting them into TikTok. Uhm, Rob, Robby, Robby doesn't think it's a particularly organic way of working, so...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I mean, but the thing with news is that if you weren't there to experience a newsworthy event, it's fair enough that people explain what happened and tell you about it. The difference here is that all of this content was available already somewhere else and had been seen by other people.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So what you're doing is just taking someone else's successful thread and successful Minecraft video, stapling them together and saying, I have created content.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, this is from, uh, I don't know if this is Ewan or Yuan, I apologize. Uh, my name is Ewan or Yuan. I have a question. What is the best slash weirdest piece of fan mail you've received? The reason I ask is because I work at a mail hub that provides virtual addresses.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We gotta, let's end, I guess we can end on this email, since it's a classic. Uhm, this is from Matthew. Uh, I'm from a county in Georgia named Forsyth, which is cool. Nice, nice. I thought Parian would like that, but that's not even the best part. The town's name is Cumming.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hello everyone and welcome back to the Triforce Cue Christmas music. Jingle, jingle. Jingle time. Certainly feeling festive. You want the angelic one. No, I'll get Tom to put some in the background, we don't have to sing it. Okay. No, forget it, let's do that. You do the bass, you do the backing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think there's a lot of... I dunno, for me retro is unrecognisable. Like, those crooners


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Staring at the microphone with their weird, really weird clothes, haircuts, stylings, you know. Like, it doesn't feel, to me, all that foreign Spice Girls, that idea of retro, right? Because I guess I was alive then, it was normal for me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But the way, like, this is looking like the 80s punk haircuts and stuff, I dunno, all of that stuff does seem... Seems even more...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You go first. Me? Sure. You're gonna eat this banana. You carry on. You eat the banana. I am exhausted, by the way. Uhm, just recall, we, you carry on, you carry on, you do you. Sorry, I took the night off.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's all kinds of problems. The time travel thing is fun, right? It's fun. It's a lot of fun.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well I think the way Dark did it was quite clever, they had like three different time periods, but time was moving, it carried on moving in them, right, while together.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, so you couldn't go back in time in those specific time zones, but obviously you could change things a long way in the future by passing messages forward.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I like timeline stuff with solid rules, and I don't like it when they either try and poorly address paradoxes, or have such loose rules that you're constantly like, why don't they just


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Why don't they just go back in time? And if, if there is a time machine and it was that easy to invent, you know, why, what happens in the future when other people invent time machines, right? Like, you've got to think that there's an infinite future ahead. Well, potentially, maybe humanity destroys itself.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well I watched the first one, and I thought it was a wild ride. I like mystery, I like weird stuff though, I like... Like Dark Times with Poe and Monroe?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What are you saying, Munro? Okay, Jiggle Jam is going on at the moment, we're halfway through, Stips just did a stream this week with Lydia, where he played Poem Rec, because it's in the Jiggle Jam


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[Assistant] It's very, very silly. But I think there's a lot of these games, there's a lot of other FMV games like that, um, Sips, that are very silly. It's like, I mean, there's been a couple on Netflix almost, you know, like these digital play along sort of games, right, where


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And you click on, you click on what, and they'll be like, oh, you need the toilet there? And it'll be like completely unrelated. But I don't know, that's part of the charm of these


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[Assistant] It's nice to just play something different, I think. I'm glad you enjoyed it. Even though BFLAX has been hating on it for ages. You're welcome to hate on stuff, BFLAX. It is the best game ever. Fill your boots. It's funny. It's funny.


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[Assistant] 90s, right? Yeah. And, and, and like, of a, of a different world. In a sense, like, I'm, I've been watching, like, in the background, like, uhm,


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[Assistant] I watched the Spice Girls music video, I was like, yikes. And then I watched, it was like recommended stuff, it was like Britney Spears, do you know what I mean, like, these like, things from that day. And it does look weirdly familiar, but also


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[Assistant] Like the Britney Spears one, and even the Spice Girls stuff isn't like the most out of place today, but I think what is


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[Assistant] What is, like, familiar- I think, like, some stuff today is really crazy, though. We have had such an explosion of stuff. Like, looking at, like, from all of those, like, young


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Xanax addicted rappers who were like 16 with face tattoos. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Through to, like, the TikTok people and random... I mean, it's weird. If people would, in 20 years time, looking back on what we've got now...


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[Assistant] Some of it is pretty fucking otherworldly right now, right?


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[Assistant] If you're looking for a gift this Christmas, I recommend the Aura frame, because I've bought one for my parents, and I think it's very cool. I can actually, it's like a digital photo frame, and we've got one in the office, so I've mentioned it before, but basically you can share a folder, upload pictures,


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[Assistant] And they will just automatically scroll through. You can change the speed and stuff and do it manually as well. Or just keep it on one picture. But it's really, really cool. We got one in the office. Perian's got one.


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[Assistant] That one didn't get said. But yes, if you're looking for a gift this Christmas, you could save.


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[Assistant] You can go to auraframes.com slash trifles to get 30 bucks off Aura's best selling frames. I have got one for my parents and I recommend you check it out if you're looking for a gift to share. Do it!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Big savings? Yeah, I have, actually. It's surprising how often it does work. Damn. Uh, I was buying, in fact, something for your kids, um, sips, but I hope, uh, I hope you like it, and I saved like five quid, I think, on it, with a honey coupon.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, thank goodness me. It works on all your favourite sites when you check out the honey button appears and all you have to do is click apply coupons. It will search for working coupons and put them in automatically. I recommend it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So yea, if you don't already have honey, you could be straight up missing out. You can get PayPal honey for free at joinhoney.com slash triforce, joinhoney.com slash triforce, um, and, and save yourself some money buying Christmas presents or just, just,


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[Assistant] So okay, so 2022 Spotify's thing just came out where they said who are the most streamed artists, right? Who is the most streamed artist on Spotify?


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[Assistant] Uh, ooh! Great question, and I think the answer is no.


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[Assistant] Well actually, BTS is actually fifth on the list, so we're getting there. Um, but the other four you should, well some of these you should have definitely heard of before.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Coldplay not in the top. Coldplay sixteenth all time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Kenny's not on the- Kenny's 12th on the list of all time, but not on this year. Kendrick Lamar?


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[Assistant] Kendrick Lamar, not on the list. No, not at all. What's that guy's name?


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[Assistant] Taylor Swift, yes, is number 2 this year, uh, she is 4th overall with 40 million streams. So is it like Rihanna or something like that then? So number 5 is BTS, number 4 is The Weekend. The Weekend.


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[Assistant] He's got a lot of very famous songs, I'm sure, and I've heard of him. Yeah, Drake, Taylor Swift. He's a Canadian guy too, The Weeknd, I think.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But number one, for the last three years, is someone called Bad Bunny. Who I have never heard of. I've never heard of Bad Bunny.


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[Assistant] He is a Puerto Rican rapper and singer. Oh. He is, his music is defined as Latin trap and reggaeton. See, I knew it would be something.


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[Assistant] I think this is not driven by gamers. Spotify is a huge platform for everyone. The nice thing about Spotify is that people choose often what they listen to, or at least if they listen to playlists, it's gonna be curative.


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[Assistant] Yeah, well, I've listened to their album, obviously, and I've had that, and that's... I guess it's been recommended a bunch. But also, it's mostly, like, metal stuff. It's not the same sips, but I like to listen to- You just like to listen to metal instead. To heavy metal when I'm doing that, factory stuff, yeah.


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[Assistant] Okay, my is this group called my number one for some reason this group called


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[Assistant] Rave the Requiem, but spelled wrong, with a V instead of a U.


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[Assistant] And I don't know why, but it just, I think it's because I do like...


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[Assistant] A rabbit hole, but I find that helps to refine down my vibe.


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[Assistant] Reimagining YouTube, we rewind like Spotify wrapped, so...


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[Assistant] You could see who, which channels you've watched the most, which ones you've engaged with, how many hours you've spent. Like that kind of stats would be really interesting to know, right? And then also, you know, if you were in the top 1% of someone's viewers,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Maybe you, you will be able to send them a message or they will be able to see you, you know, and you will be able to interact with people who are interacting with your channel in a way that


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] has suffered from the fragmentation of the content that we have, you know, the fact that we don't know


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[Assistant] I mean, but I'm, but neither is, for me, neither is almost anyone on this. I don't, I'm not a big fan of Drake, Post Malone, Ariana Grande, fucking- Honestly, I know I'm Drake.


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[Assistant] Okay, I'm listening to it right now. Oh my god, this is so... You're right, I'm listening to it now. This is...


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[Assistant] It is gaming the system, but it's like, I spoke about it before, I call it weight bait, right? So the idea is that...


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[Assistant] That's the power, right? Like basically what will happen is, you notice this with TikToks, is they have to cut off really quick, uhm, or try and get people's watch time, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This always happens though, if you have a system


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] with an algorithm that encourages certain forms of content to do better. It will just evolve into more of that content and that's how content will be on the platform.


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[Assistant] And obviously that is, that is why you have such weird stuff on TikTok. That's why the TikTok stuff is like it is, uhm, because it favours content made in a certain way. It's only going to get more exaggerated over time, right?


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[Assistant] Unless you, unless you're playing some weird game like YouTube where they're continually tweaking and changing their algorithm to mix it up and provide different incentives. But there's limited metrics that you can really track with TikTok other than


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[Assistant] You know how, how, I guess you've got how quickly they swipe away from it and how long


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[Assistant] I mean, it's the same with YouTube as well, but, but they are, you're usually working with much longer content on YouTube, right? And so


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But also you have more data about when, when people, which parts of the video people leave on. And you have like the main screen, people, how many people click it through that, how many people are searching for it, how many people are coming from offsite.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, it's got a lot of different working, spinning parts YouTube that can all factor in. Whereas TikTok is so simple, it's hard to imagine how to do it better.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Um, especially trying to link stuff together, like how to... from at least my experience, it very quickly becomes, um, lots of repeats of similar stuff, right? And you can quite quickly fuck up your...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Or sometimes it's very hard to even find the things that you want to, that you're interested in, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, well maybe you need to look for certain things and watch those.


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[Assistant] I did not see him though. Is this nominative determinism? Because he, his name is like the Fender guitar brand, very famous, uhm, he got a guitar, he got given a guitar by his father when he was eight. His father was also a musician. His father was a musician, a guitarist, okay. I'm just saying, this is, this happens, right?


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[Assistant] Zoot on saxophone, and later on Lips joined the band on trumpet, uhm, Lips and occasionally Janice, oh very strange.


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[Assistant] It's a classic. This is, this is great, really. In a sense, like, I mean, Dr Teeth in the Electric Mayhem was a muppet. This is from 1975. Yeah, yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Prominent real life, you know, rock and jazz musicians, which


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[Assistant] I guess it really, it really does, when you look at the Muppets, like, they look like these... Like, it's so recognisable from, like, as the 70s, apparently.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] She's got like, and Janice is a little bit like all the eighties, like Bonnie Tyler. Yes. Like, I don't know, like, you know, type.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Have you seen, well talking about retro things becoming modern, that 70s show is now that 90s show?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't remember that, but I know that obviously the original That 70s Show group of like, what was it, Ashton Kutcher, Mila Kunis...


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[Assistant] Anyway, it had, uhm, what's his name? Uhm, he's, he was in, uhm, hang on, I can look it up. Kurtwood Smith. He was in, uhm, the guy who wore the glasses.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, it's cool, it's a TV show called Patriot, it's like a comedy drama, it's like a black comedy, and it's got Kirkwood Smith as this boss at this engineering firm called Macmillan, who make, you know, spinning wash flanges for pipes and stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Exactly. And so he is like, they're like a piping firm installing industrial pipes. Wasn't he in Total Recall as well? Wasn't he the bad guy in Total Recall?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Not particularly, but I see where you're going from. They've got a similar vibe. Anyway, Kurtwood Smith is fantastic in Patriot and I really, really enjoyed it. I thought it was a great show, but I recommend you watch it. It's very, very funny.


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[Assistant] I'm just wondering if I'd like it, that's all, because I- Do you know what I mean?


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[Assistant] Well, no, if that was the case he would be like a dick doctor, wouldn't he? He would be known for his Johnson. Yeah. Like, do you know what I mean? He'd be, he'd be more... It definitely happened to me the other day, there was a bit of that, someone... The dick doctor. I can't remember. No, there was some normative detourism I saw. Oh, it was me recently.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, he told me his name as well. Could you imagine? Uh, the name's Steve Mugga? I uh, I'll do this for a living.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh shit. Well look, let's, um, let's put a pin in this because, uh, we gotta go do other things, but, uh, thank you for joining us and I hope you have a merry, uh, Christmas season. We may, there may be more, um, podcasts.


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[Assistant] Yeah, like I love that idea of everyone coming for Christmas, there's like 30 people. Like I know that probably sounds horrible to some people, but I would personally love it.


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[Assistant] No, I don't think it's that because it's really very simple in there. It's not like uber complicated.


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[Assistant] The sperm granuloma can be quite uncomfortable and sometimes they have to go in and remove them, but more often than not it just dies down over time and your nuts just chill there and it's all fine.


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[Assistant] Can I just, I know this is something you don't like to do, Sips, but I'd like to give a shout out to Sperm.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then I was like, I'll do it after the summer because I don't want to, you know, not be able to go swimming when we go on holiday.


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[Assistant] He had all these fucking stupid questions and they kept coming. Uhm, he pops up on the camera, he said, not a very old guy. We were all, we were all, literally all the lads were like, pictures of me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And everyone's sort of rolling their eyes, uhm, and the doctor's like, well, you have to wait 20 weeks after you've had the vaccine.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So that was bad, but uhm, I'm not looking forward to the procedure, but I'm not worried about it. The guy's super competent and, you know, the-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I have thought this through. I am very happy with my decision. There is zero chance of me ever wanting more kids. That's the end.


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[Assistant] One, one problem, I did not ever foresee an occasion when I would shave my balls. So we gave them to a friend as a gift.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, given that scene, given that scene as the Disney song, where have you ever heard it used?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, because it's not like you ever hear it. It's not the theme tune to a TV show. It's just so strange that it's persisted as like...


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[Assistant] I have no doubt that this will absolutely be a thing, but do we, like, this will be done with artists that are dead or that have retired and it's basically you're paying to see a virtual image of a dead person dancing for your entertainment. All that money's going to some big corporation.


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[Assistant] For anyone that wants to totally the opposite, it's a grinding, turn-based, hex-based, World War II, uh, strategy game called Second Front. Oh. Made by MicroProse, believe it or not. Of course, yes. They're back, baby. Holy shit, is this a new game? Yeah. Wow. And it's, uh... What's it called?


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[Assistant] And I think three years ago, I called him out on Twitter and he demanded that I 1v1 him mid. As if that was going to- in Dota, as if that was gonna fucking settle anything.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I kept getting updates saying, here's some more artwork, and no game. For years. And they made their goal comfortably, nothing. So if this ever does come out, I'll be pleasantly surprised. Uhm. Did you 1v1 in the end? No.


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[Assistant] Well, I'm looking at my wishlist on Steam. Do you want to hear it?


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[Assistant] Well, I-I stopped playing Blood Bowl 2 because I was sick of the ruleset and I wanted Blood Bowl 3 to change things and be better, uhm, and they've made the UI worse and the game worse, so they've improved a couple of things, but they've-they've still got the same- That's what base is for.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Kind of tentatively meh about that, but we'll see. It's a game called Starfield, which is like a single player open world RPG in space.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay. A game called Corpo Nation, which is like, uh, it kind of looks like, uhm, Papers, Please. Oh, nice.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Some people might question using Civ 5 as our source, but this is merely the inspiration, and I think it is, to be honest with you, a nice concise list that we understand, but we're not going to discuss it in Civ terms, we're going to discuss it in reality.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So ju-just to be clear, the list is pottery, animal husbandry, mining, sailing, astrology, irrigation, writing, archery, masonry, bronze working in the wheel.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] For a start, it had been around a lot longer than the ancient world. I think a very long time archery had been around for.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The reason the wheel didn't come around until we'd advanced to a certain point, probably once we'd settled down and started farming is, what the fuck do you need a wheel for if you're living as a hunter-gatherer?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, yes, you could build a little cart, I suppose.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In order to do that, you'd probably need to have a place where you could settle down and make a wheel and build a wagon and all the rest of it. And I can't imagine that they had little wagons that they pulled along behind them. I think they, they just carried what they needed. They didn't need to bring much with them. And they just gathered every day. Didn't take long. There's bountiful food and animals around.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because that's quite hard to work, Stone. Ah, well, they had a lot of time back.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then you take one from the back and move it to the front.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right? So you've got all your logs laid out, and it would be a natural evolution of thinking to say, well, I don't want to have to move this log, what if we used one of these logs, which spin, when, like, torque is applied to them, and put two bigger circles on either end and just rested something on the wood? And the wheel can turn?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I guess if we combine animal husbandry and irrigation then, to cover, and pottery, to cover farming. The advance towards an agrarian and sort of more agricultural and farming based permanent structures follow from that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, none of this stuff really happens, or if it does, it's ephemeral, it just disappears, because it's not, it's not persistent. Without farming, none of this happens, so do you think that farming was when we started to become modern humans?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Or what is the good month to hunt this animal?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So in earlier, in earlier sieves, prior to five, there was a tech called ceremonial burial. I mean, they thought that that, that the act of burying a body


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, and sensing that this body has some connection to something beyond death, that it needs to be honored, was a big step. Rather than just leaving them where they lay and saying, well, we'll move on. You bury them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because then you have someone saying, what happens to him after he dies? And then you need some kind of priest to say, uh, and come up with something, right? And then, where did we come from when questions like that come about? Burying a body is not something that animals do, to the best of my knowledge. I know ants have a little ant graveyard, so they might be next. They might be at the start of the tech tree.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But religion needs consistency, or it's not a religion. So that's why you need things like writing and a permanent society. Even a small one. To set up a base around.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I mean, yes, all conquering in the case of the Romans. You know, they just fucking took places over, but essentially what they achieved was unbelievable. But it's funny that we look at Rome and Greece as these amazing things.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The Egyptians were around for like 3000 years, being a civilization and building amazing things like the pyramids and having all of this shit. And people don't really think about these great Egyptian thinkers, so my question is,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause if you're gonna be building something, you need to have an understanding of sizes. So you'd need to make sure, for example, if you're building a house, that all four walls are the same height, that the roof has a certain angle and all these things. And whilst you could definitely do that by eye, and I'm sure early huts and things, they didn't say, oh, well, Mog, you're mud hut.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, you might have a different name for it, but these rules that we've come up with for things like trigonometry and all this kind of stuff is 100% true across the world for everybody.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Let's talk about aura frames. AURA. Like an aura. Like they have a mystical aura around them. I love my aura frame. I'd never say this for things I don't like. I genuinely like this. It's fantastic. You just put it on the side there, you set it up, you get all your pictures on there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right now they have a great deal for Mother's Day. Listeners can save on the perfect gift by visiting AuraFrames.com. Use code TRYFORCE to get up to $30 off plus free shipping on their best-selling frames! This deal ends on May the 14th, so do not hesitate. Not even for a moment.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Not her billions of dollars or her talk show, but the aura frame. It's guaranteed to make your mum or your grand mum smile. Let me tell you what, I'll be honest with you, I think it's great for anybody. If you got anyone this present, they'd be pleased. If you got it for yourself, you'd be delighted. You'd be delighted with yourself.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So we got, we got military tactics, the buttress, apprenticeship, stirrups.


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[Assistant] I think machinerie is a very good one and does lead into things, for sure, but I think that education leads to things like the industrial revolution and the renaissance era.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The, the thing is, right, mass production, that, that did make a difference. Yeah. I watched, if you've ever got the chance to watch The Ascent of Man by Jacob Bronofsky, Professor Bronofsky, which was a TV show in the 70s on the BBC. I have it on DVD. Unfortunately, my computer doesn't have a DVD player, otherwise I'd be watching it. He talks about what a difference mass production of, of things made.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And one of the lines that he says really has always stuck with me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He said that the good life is not found in material decency, but the good life is based on material decency.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So being able to have things like plates, furniture, cutlery, clothing that you can rely on to give you material decency leads to a better life for most people.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I thought mass production was really a part of that because rather than have to go to Steve the pot maker and get a pot from Steve, you could buy mass produced pots that were much cheaper because of it. So now everyday people certainly


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause cartography, cartography of course, changed the face of the world.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Having maps, if you look at medieval maps, they're fucking dogshit. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But it is kinda what it leads to, because once you have banking, you can start to have big companies.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The ability now, if you start a printing press, more people are gonna be reading because there's something to read. So the printing press almost encourages people to learn to read because now you can read the news, you can read the things that they put on the boards, the proclamations are all printed in.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's not like, it's the uniformity of things. And I think mass production leads to that, these processes that mean, if I buy this musket,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And uniformity, and I think that, that would be kind of important. A lot of the war stuff, like sieges and cannons and gunpowder, changed the way we fight, but I don't think it, it didn't change it sufficiently, for me, that it com- it was a game changer.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because we've had wars for thousands of years. I don't think gunpowder changed the day to day lives of most people. They're gonna be killed by a cannon or a shot instead of being killed by an arrow or a spear. They're still dead. It ain't changing much. You know what I mean?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think sanitation is a weird one to put there because the Romans had some idea of sanitation, but this idea of cleaning your hands before treating somebody, that sewage was bad, obviously that's important for sure and saved countless lives, but really it's weird that I think industrial era medicine


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Let's just talk about the UK. The UK was entirely defined by industrialization in terms of


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Why cities are where they are, what their specialties were, shipbuilding, coal mining, factories, mass production of things in industrial settings. Industrialization is still how we live, essentially we live in industrialized societies. So industrialization, surely, but...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, and rigorous scientific method that, that did away with a whole bunch of crap that we took for granted and considered fact. And so, well, actually we need a, a form, a formal way of investigating the natural world. And scientific theory did that. I mean, it was huge beginning, not really in the industrial area, but beginning with


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So here's a question though, because our electricity still essentially relies on steam, uh, and turbines. Like, a nuclear power plant is essentially a very efficient steam engine.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You, you heat water, the water pushes the turbine, and you generate electricity. So, steam power is at the root of electricity, and, and, I mean electricity as a thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, so alright, let's narrow this down to which do we suppose did the most good in terms of saving lives? Because that's generally what we've gone for is, or what I've certainly been thinking of is what has improved the life of the average person? Because if we're going to measure based on military science, for example,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I know, there's only a couple, there's only two more ears. Flight, replaceable parts, steel,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Refining, electricity, radio, chemistry, and combustion.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, honestly, I think you're right. I mean, especially if we put something like say, canning foods in amongst refrigeration. So the preservation of food past just a table, you know, farm, the field to plate sort of.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But just, just consider the damage that the...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, so it is kind of a tricky one. Uh, I mean combustion, you know, now we're getting into things like the atomic era, and now we've got the ability to destroy our planet instantly.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The access for communication is insane to have at your fingertips. And it's completely changed the way we do a lot of things. For good and ill. So, my money's on the internet as being like, the idea of the entire fucking planet being able to talk to one another is insane.


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[Assistant] And the fact that I could email anybody anywhere, voice chat with anybody anywhere, zoom calls, whatever you want with anybody anywhere on the fucking planet who has access to a computer is absolutely bonkers.


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[Assistant] Wow. Yes. I mean, I think if we, if we look at telecommunications, telecommunications, the internet, if you took anything that we have nowadays and went back 200 years, that would probably be the one that blows their mind the most.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The idea that, you know, you could call someone up on the other side of the planet and have an instantaneous conversation.


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[Assistant] And think about things like Amazon and all that shit that's completely changed the way we shop and everything has been affected by the internet.


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[Assistant] Well, it is, it is a, I do, I do, I do do things, it's true. Yesterday was a bit of a trial. Uhm, I had to leave the house three times. Three.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then a third time to pick up my daughter from the station. Um, and it was, I was just like, by the end of it, I was, I was like, I never want to go outside again. Wait, you had a teacher strike day yesterday as well? Yeah, baby. We got one on Friday too.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I mean, that's the whole point, isn't it? I think they, you know, the, the, the National Union of Teachers gets together, NUT, or whatever it's called, and, uh, and, uh, strikes. And they said, you know, fuck this. So yeah, they were on strike.


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[Assistant] In the, one of the things whenever we go away to, uh, DOA events is we always have a WhatsApp group for that event. Well, there'll be a bunch. There's normally one for production, which is where you're like told, hey, can you guys be at this studio at this time, rehearsals at this time, shuttles at this time. That's like the production side.


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[Assistant] I've sent you guys some of the stickers that we use. These are just random faces of people at events and stuff like that.


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[Assistant] Uh, I do think that there are so many strange, um, things about American culture that seem directly opposed to each other but still exist. And there are two things. First of all, the reverence of former presidents seems strange because a lot of Americans also seem to have this, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I think it's treading a fine line. All it takes is one maniac to come in. One person, one real busy one who's absolutely fucking living for this drama. It's like making something out of nothing because you have nothing else to do. We were talking about why old people


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[Assistant] Like, they're like a massage therapist, like they do proper deep muscle-like massage, and he's very, very good, uhm, and he's done, like, uhm, he lives in Philadelphia, so like, the Philadelphia Eagles players will sometimes come to his place for massage because he's really, really good.


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[Assistant] And he helps with like posture and how you can help not having a bad back, all this stuff. Very, very, very good. But let's say you're...


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[Assistant] I mean, if she googled you, she would have seen you proclaiming that clams are people and crabs are people. The view in the bee costume.


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[Assistant] It is interesting, however, and this is not a complaint, I'm not saying we should stop using it, but from a purely dramatic viewing perspective, watching people stare at a DNA database looking for matches or pouring over some


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I gotta hunch this guy is connected. You know, when they go do the interview and the guy's always talking, here's what actually happens. They look at CCTV footage, they take extensive forensic evidence from the crime scene.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That almost always turns something up. They look at cellphone records, they look at, uh, all of that shit, and they find some guys. Inevitably, they search their house and find a bunch of fucking stuff everywhere.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, so there was one I watched, and the way they caught the guys, essentially was, first of all they, some of, like, so here's the thing, it was a honey trap murder. So these two girls took this lad back to his place.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That everything is basically a cycle and we just loop the same thing over and over again. And in any cycle, you have three things. You have a big, uh, golden age when there's like some time when things are going well. Then you have a huge crash and then you have a war and you just keep doing that.


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[Assistant] That's essentially what we just keep doing. And it never changes. It's Stereo Lab is the band. It's called Ping Pong. It's a great song. And anyway, if you haven't heard of it, look it up. And uhm, it's, the lyrics were kind of criticized at the time because it is basically, I think it's some,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But, this is a very common theme throughout history, is that we repeat the same things over and over and over again. It's not because we don't learn, but because it's human nature.


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[Assistant] But humanity would go on, I think, uhm, compared with the problems we've got now, which is, wow, it really could come to a crashing end if we're not careful. So I, I feel like the pressure and the tension on everybody is just exhibiting itself in everything from politics to the economy to people, I mean, young people these days are suffering from way more stress than


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I read it, it's absolutely superb. I really recommend it. Okay. So if you want someone to read, it's good sci-fi. It's uh, to set it up for you, it's basically like an evolutionary story. It's a story about evolution of a society.


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[Assistant] And it's, uh, it's very, very, very interesting. It's, it's good, solid sci-fi, really, really nicely written. And, um, you know, I don't want to spoil anything. It is, it is a really, really good read. I've just started the second book, so I couldn't tell you about the rest of the challenges.


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[Assistant] Oh yeah, I don't know if you've ever mentioned that before, but it is a joy to watch these people have a meltdown.


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[Assistant] So you met Kyle Walker, the footballer, and you thought he was an awful man?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] As in, was he rude? Was he mean? He was a bit aloof. Okay. I mean, he was an international superstar as well. He wasn't smart enough to be rude. Uh, or mean. Right. Do you know what I mean? He was just too dull.


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[Assistant] I don't- I don't care if it's real or not personally. Really? I really don't. You don't care?


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[Assistant] No, I don't. But do you think it's real? I'm just not, I'm not interested in it, I don't know what the, what the, what the big deal would be if it was real, like I don't know what, I don't know what people's expectation behind all this is.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, if some of that stuff happened, sure, but I don't think anything like that's gonna- not in our lifetimes anyway, I don't think it's- or even our kids' lifetimes, I don't think anything like that is actually gonna happen.


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[Assistant] Well, that, just what you said, I'd be like, oh, what the fuck is this? And I would probably stand there and look at it a bit longer, but like, what do you want me to do with that, otherwise? But would you think it was Aliens, maybe? Well, I might, but, you know, I'd probably


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] At first I would probably think it was something else, you know, like I'd think, oh, maybe it's like, uh, an airplane or like, you know, some sort of like military thing or whatever, you know, I wouldn't, my first go-to wouldn't be like, oh my God, the invasion has started. I mean, mine wouldn't be because I have to prepare my ass for the probes.


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[Assistant] Just before you continue, can I just say, because I know Flax is very bewildered by my non- This is the kind of shit-


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[Assistant] I get that, I remember after we had our first kid, I was like, wow, everybody's having babies! But it's only because I was aware that we'd had a baby, you know what I mean? Like, before that I hadn't really paid any attention to babies. It's like when you buy a new set of trainers, you're suddenly like,


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[Assistant] You probably get people like that at, like, ground zero and stuff like that.


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[Assistant] But what's the- And that's where a lot of these conspiracies come from. What's the benefit of believing that the Earth is flat, though? Like, what- Exactly! What's the point? Well, it's affirming.


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[Assistant] Right. So I thought that was interesting. That is interesting, yeah.


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[Assistant] And they must have had to hike these guys up to the gills to get them out there to fight. Kilpy, you gotta really fuckin' hate somebody to kill them with a sword or a mace or whatever, right?


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[Assistant] We assume, I mean, rightly so, but we assume that any alien race is gonna follow the same sort of path as we did, but they might be...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Maybe they didn't ever get feudalism, because they never got, they never had horses on their planet. Yeah, maybe they just came like, uh, you know, maybe they're just like little puddles of goo who just did things differently.


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[Assistant] Very interesting. God, we, we, we really did, we fixed a couple of things. I was in, an interesting one though. I think we, I think we, we've spoken about bits and pieces of this stuff in the past, but never at length like we've done today.


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[Assistant] It was, uh, I don't think a single poop joke was made or a dick joke either. So it's got, I mean, it's the first time for everything, right?


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[Assistant] You're just getting so horny that you just gotta let it all out, you know? You gotta jack off and you gotta do some farting and stuff too.


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[Assistant] That's a good, that's a good intro song, right? Yeah, of course. The notes are really easy and.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] On the topic of a man, uh, masturbating and farting,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it reminded me of this show I watched. It was a documentary I watched about prison one time. I know, Flax, you know a lot about prisons and you've had a lot of tales about prisons, but have you ever heard of the term spooning out? No. Okay, let me, uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I sort of, uhm, winced a little bit, because I thought, oh, here we go, this is gonna be pretty bad. Do we have to? The way he described it was, uhm, a man in the cell, laying ass naked on a bed, in a room with, like, many other men.


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[Assistant] And his legs sticking out in the air, and at this point I was like, fuck me, I do not want to hear the rest of this. Okay? One of them had a plastic spoon, and the reason for this was...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So this, this guy, they were holding his legs back, putting him into like the, basically the birthing position and using a plastic spoon to try to


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They, the prisoners I think get very good at the sort of DIY thing, right? Like you see them cooking up gourmet, um, grade meals with their, with their little kettle and stuff like that. And, uh, I guess this is no different, you know, just a bit of a life-saving intervention surgery. Um, you know, you just got a little.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's it? Yeah, so, no, it just made me think of that, and I thought I would share. Get the Spoonman.


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[Assistant] Interesting. Interesting. Thank you for being so level-headed about it as well.


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[Assistant] They're a lot smaller. They are a lot smaller. I gotta say though, and uhm, and, and, uh, thank you for the, uh, the email, pilot man. And also, I don't know if you would agree with this, but I've flown in a very small propeller plane, like a six seater.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, because that's what you fly on to get from Jersey to Guernsey, which is not, it's not very far. It's like a six minute flight or something like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They use these really, really small propeller planes. They don't go up that high. You're sitting right behind the pilot so you can see over his shoulder and you can see everything he sees and stuff. It's, it's a really cool experience actually.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I did not, uh, feel unsafe at all. Like, I just, it felt better than, uh, flying on a big commercial airliner in some ways. I felt a lot more safe. Like, I don't know, maybe because I could see, like, what he was doing or I could see out the front or something. You know what I mean? I didn't feel like as, uh, not in control somehow.


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[Assistant] I'm not interested in fully learning, uhm, but I would be interested in doing like, you know, uhm, like a one-off, you know, like how they, you know, you can get for somebody's birth, I'm not hinting by the way, you know, like you can get like an hour fly time for somebody's birthday and they go up with somebody and


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They don't teach you how to fly, they just sort of show you the interesting bits and let you take over for a split second while you're cruising.


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[Assistant] Yeah, that would be fine for me. Like, I don't need to know how to learn how to land, I'd be stressed to the gills, like, trying to land or take off and stuff, like, that would be too much for me, but, the rest of it- Just wanna, you know, just wanna see the interesting bits. Just wanna cruise, you know?


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[Assistant] He's pissed. Nah, honestly though, um, Chris, I'm with you. I fucking hate getting parking tickets, even if I'm in the wrong. It just, I hate it. It's so annoying. Like, uh, I've only gotten like two, and it was definitely my fault every time.


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[Assistant] I hate, uh, I hate how like, you're not really meant to park on the side of the road, especially when it's like really obstructive, like buses can't get by and stuff like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And you will see cars parked up like that all day long for days and days and days. And these guys are just wandering around parking lots giving tickets. And you think, get out there and get those cars off the side of the road. The ones that like.


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[Assistant] Jesus, well it just shows, eh? Do you know what? I mean, I grew up, uhm, around a lot of, uh, people who like doing drugs and drinking and all that kind of stuff when we were younger.


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[Assistant] Everything that could have possibly gone wrong and how it's a miracle that most of the people I know from being a kid are even still alive. You know what I mean? Yeah. Where's the scale?


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[Assistant] Yes. Oh my god. Have you guys ever been to Banff or heard of Banff? Do a fucking Google image search on Banff and prepare to have your mind blown is beautiful. It's probably the most beautiful place I've ever been to on this whole godforsaken earth. It's incredible.


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[Assistant] Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's fucking wild, man. You can just go as well. You can, it takes a couple of hours to drive from Calgary, but it's incredible. You drive by the old Winter Olympics village. They got all the old ski slopes and everything.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do a TLDR very briefly. I had a bear encounter.


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[Assistant] My parents went, uh, for like a little walk and left me and my brother, well actually no, they took my brother with them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was left alone. I was a little bit older. I was probably like 12 or something. I had my Gameboy. I was in the tent, uhm, playing my Gameboy while they were gone. And I heard like some rustling, uhm, not like immediately outside, but like further down.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I looked down the road and there's this huge fucking bear sniffing around at like the garbage cans and everything. So I went back in the tent, hid underneath my sleeping bag and played dead because I was told that that was what you did.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I was like, get in the car quick, there's a bear out there. And they were like, oh shit, so we all got into the car.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, and we were like, my parents were like, there's no, there was no bear, whatever, right? Like, and I was like, no, no, there's for sure a bear down the road. I've been hiding. I like, I don't know if he's around here or not. And then sure enough.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wait until he was like, far enough away, and then my dad went to, uh, speak to the people who run the camp or whatever.


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[Assistant] And apparently he was like tagged known and everything, but they still had to like tranquilize him and airlift him out into the wild or whatever. But yeah, it could have been, uh, it could have been a pretty nasty one. He was huge. Yeah.


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[Assistant] Uh, so, like not, not with any eloquence whatsoever, but I would be trying my hardest. Like there's no way I would just not say anything and then run away.


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[Assistant] Yeaah. That is very unfortunate. But it just shows, you gotta be careful what you're saying. Um, you know, especially when you're out in public or whatever, like it's, you know, kind of laugh or whatever, but you never know who's around listening and, you know, they might be taking it the wrong way as well.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's gotta be bread, a loaf of bread. Can you believe the car?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There are communities out there, for sure, of, uh, of people wearing diapers and getting boners in them, so, you know, could be. Could be.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I, I get that, uh, sometimes as well. I'll remember something from being, from, you know, when I was a kid or whatever game I used to play, and it seems so absurd that I actually have to look it up to make sure that I wasn't just dreaming it or whatever. But yeaah, no, it, it, often times is the, is the case that


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Games are just a bit mental and uh, they are exactly how you remember them. Mostly mental.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I do that with a movie called The Peanut Butter Solution because I think the movie gave me nightmares when I was a kid and I don't remember the movie that much but I remember vaguely the nightmares I had about the movie and I get the two mixed up all the time. It's a very confusing mess for me even thinking about that movie.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's a tough one, but I think uhm, I think you just have to, as hard as it is for me, uhm, my advice would just be, just limit your exposure. Uhm, and then, you know, when you are around somebody who,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You do disagree with a lot of what they think and say, uh, at least if you're not around them all the time, you can, you can sort of just go along with it a little bit, you know, you can just sort of say, oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then, you know what I mean? But I think if you're,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Around somebody all the time and that is like the topic of conversation. It's just going to get worse and worse, right? There's going to be friction and stuff because


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In my experience, like Lewis said, it's impossible to change people, and the older people get, the more locked into however they are is. I'm not saying it never happens, but just in my experience, it's really tough. What you have to boil it down to is that


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] For you as a person and for your mental well-being and mental health and stuff, you need to realize that most interactions you have


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Should be on your own terms and should end positively. You should be coming away from a social interaction with a loved one feeling angry, drained, upset. You know what I mean? Like you really just need to get to the point where you're not around that person as much. As hard as it is.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That sometimes your loved ones just don't measure up to what they need to be. You know what I mean? You can spend your whole life trying to convince somebody otherwise or whatever and in the end it's just not worth it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because the only person that ends up falling is you. Because if you're already somewhat of a stable person and you believe in things that you believe in and it's whatever,


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[Assistant] You shouldn't need to be dragged down, I don't think. You know what I mean? Like, it's not, I don't think it's anybody's responsibility to fix somebody else or sort somebody else out or whatever. Like, it's just, it's a waste of time and it just, it impacts so negatively on you in the long, in the long term as well. You know what I mean?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Work together with them, but some people actually need professional help though, they need therapy, they need all sorts of stuff, you know, like you can't...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You can't shoulder it all. It's too much. You've got your own life to live. You can't be minding somebody as well. You know what I mean? It's pretty straight forward stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't think it's the answer. I think if you want to help and the person that you want to help wants to be helped, then there's avenues for that. I don't think an intervention is really gonna work, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like we're generalizing a lot here as well. Obviously there's going to be very specific situations where absolutely you should intervene or whatever. But I think when, when dealing with somebody who's believing in conspiracy theories and, and is with somebody who's enabling them and stuff like that, I just don't know if it's-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But you gotta consider as well, if that is enough to cause a big rift in your family, it was gonna be that or something else, right? Like if the piece is so fragile in the first place, you know what I mean?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm interested to read about stuff and like, you know, I like to learn and see what makes people tick and stuff like that. But I don't want to get involved, you know. I don't want to have to convince somebody.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] of a, of a point that I'm making. I don't want to have to convince somebody.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That the, that the earth is flat or not, you know, you know what I mean? Like it's just, I don't feel it's not.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm not, you know, I'm not, I don't, I don't agree with like racists and Nazis and fascists and stuff like that, obviously. But, um.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] At the same time, I don't want to have a big debate with them, I don't want to have a big debate with people on the other side either, you know what I mean? I think I'm old enough to realize that most people are just not going to really change their minds about certain things, you know? I think if you've gone to the effort to start


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, epiphany moments where it's like, holy shit, yeah, that's all I needed was for him to say this one thing. And now I've completely changed my mind. Like I've never seen that happen before in my whole life.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, because most, most, most of these conversations just end up being dictated by ego anyway, right? Because you've got an opinion that you're insecure about, your friend has an opinion that they're pretty insecure about.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Some things are worth pursuing and other things are just absolutely not. They will just waste all of your time and make you miserable.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What was the recent one where they changed, they changed autocorrect on I think it was Apple phones to not autocorrect to ducking hell. I can't tell you how many times that has annoyed me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're, you're trying to write fucking hell and, and it autocorrects to ducking hell and it's so annoying. Like, cause normally if you use it, if you're throwing a fucking hell in there, it's cause you're kind of annoyed or, you know, you're, you're passionate on the subject or whatever. And to have your time wasted by ducking hell is just too much.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, so I'm gonna read all, as many of these as I can, but let's go, uh, do you guys wanna hear, uh, Triforce Duke of Edinburgh Funnies, Big Booged Woman's POV, or Jeremy Corbyn's Slapping Tit?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, uh, so the Duke of Edinburgh funny is this, this doesn't sound great. Uhm, this guy, remember I talked about how my eldest, uh, did Duke of Edinburgh?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, and it was a bad experience for her, so he says he'd pitch in with something funnier.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Suffice to say I had the funnest weekend ever. Oh my god. Nice. My first time doing weed was this weekend when my team member rolled the fattest spliff in the rain in the high weld. I can still remember struggling with map reading whilst off my nut.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, either way, uhm, this guy is saying that this is the drugiest weekend he'd ever spent, so. Nice. Thanks for that, Matt. I should've told my fourteen year old to just do a shitload of ket and weed and she would've had a great time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is the strangest email I've ever sent. This is in regards to episode 261, where you mention women in public without bras. Having had pretty big boobs since adolescence, I thought I'd share my POV as that woman who sometimes walks down the street bra-less, size 30G. Please keep anon. Alright, so take the name out of there then.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When I was younger, I remember thinking there was no way I'd ever be able to leave the house without wearing a bra, simply because of how big and jiggly my boobs are when walking.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I'd have the chance of letting my boobs free. Another anecdote, once my boyfriend was driving me home from his place, while bra-less, he stopped at Tesco and I remember thinking I could not step out of the car to go with him in case, God forbid, anyone noticed the movement of my unrestrained boobies.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Honestly, the thought of having to wear a bra whenever I went out in public for my whole life was pretty depressing. Although I have bras that fit comfortably, it's more comfortable to not wear one at all. During COVID!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Going out in a t-shirt is a whole other challenge. I do get self-conscious, but I remember reading an article saying that going out without a bra is empowering in a way, because instead of putting the pressure on women to cover themselves up, it was the pressure on men to not be weirdos. I am very conscious of people looking and literally do not know how to act when I walk past a man on a quiet street, so awkwardly do things like hold my coat in front of me and hide a bit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, not really New York, let's be honest. I was listening to the latest Mailbag episode where you guys were talking about accidental groping. Um, years ago, when I worked at a bakery, I was on the receiving end of a very awkward incident of accidental gropage. One of my co-workers was putting frozen bread onto baking trays and had a rack of clean trays behind him, ready to go for whenever he needed another tray.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] From that day on, we never spoke to each other again.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So it's been very chill, it's been a really fun couple of weeks, uhm, cause we're, we're very similar and we like a lot of the same things and everything, so it's been really, really cool.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, so, you know, I bugger about brushing her teeth the way you do with kids. Brush your teeth. We had a little trip to the dentist. She had to get a checkup and everything. Uh, the dentist was like, brush your teeth. And she was like, I am. She was like, well, brush them more, blah, blah, blah. So then we get home and she's on a real


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They've got a hundred of those to do that day. Let's get on with it.


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[Assistant] Yeaah, those things are, they look like a real piece of machinery. Let me tell you something. It looks like the kind of thing I'm kind of surprised we're allowed to own them at home. Do you know what I mean? It's like, one of those things where you think, is that safe? Like, electric mixers. Like a, you know, a blender? You kind of look at it and you think, jeez, these things look...


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[Assistant] This is, uh, this is from, this is from Amy, this is a good one. Uhm, I hope this is true, uh, I really do. But this is from Amy, she's, uh, 21, from Darby, been watching you guys since I was 11. Well, fair enough. Well, okay. That's my daughter's age. You're a bit too little for some of these things, Amy. Uh, and your voices and faces are unfortunately engraved in my brain forever. Oh, okay.


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[Assistant] In the recent mailbag, you got a message from a guy saying he thinks he could land a plane in an emergency. Yes. And it reminded me of this amazing r slash am I the asshole post. Uhm, so this is, this is a funny one. Am I the asshole for asking my wife to respect my title as a pilot?


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[Assistant] I need the opinions of AV geeks and pilots on a matter involving my wife. I am completely serious and I need help. That was in all caps.


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[Assistant] In my free time. I've spent thousands of dollars on flight textbooks, sim gear, and even built my own A330 setup.


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[Assistant] That being said, here's where the problem arises. My wife and I were invited to one of her male coworkers' house for a barbecue. My wife is a senior software tech for a COVID startup. She's worked there since 2020, a lucky catch after she was laid off from her previous job due to the virus. It was my first time meeting many of her now-closed coworkers due to COVID and working from home.


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[Assistant] My wife already knows how insecure I am about my job and how I'd much rather be introduced by my hobby. I've learned, I've earned the title of pilot through my 500 plus hours on, and sim, on my sim, and thousands of dollars put into my craft. I think it is incredibly disrespectful of her not to acknowledge my skills and training.


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[Assistant] Just because I don't have the title of pilot on an overpriced piece of paper doesn't mean I'm not a pilot.


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[Assistant] Yeah, that was a cracker. Uh, alright, this is, uh, this is from Tom. Uh, this is titled Yorkshire Coal Mining. Uh, here are some coal mining stories for you.


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[Assistant] The mine was the last deep coal mine in the UK and its closure marked the end of pit mining in the UK. It's memorialized in a BBC documentary called The Last Miners. Anyway, a couple of anecdotes. Like many miners, my grandfather was very fond of animals and kept a few exotic ones as a sort of pit mascot, e.g. turtles and parrots. The house also had dozens of canaries for obvious reasons.


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[Assistant] My grandfather would describe them as coming up to the surface with their skin as black as night from the coal dust. They would light up at the sight of the sky and would for a few hours be allowed to roam free and play together.


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[Assistant] Sadly, most ponies would only last a few years in the pits, but the miners were very fond of them. I imagine they saw them somewhat as their equal, toiling together. If the ponies survived until older age they would be retired and the miners would adopt them.


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[Assistant] Uhm, especially, I mean, nowadays, of course, everybody's against coal mining because it's incredibly polluting and, you know, it's not good to burn coal.


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[Assistant] Like just chucking carbon dioxide and contaminants up into the atmosphere and all the rest of it. But these guys were the source of power for a very long time. Miners were literally the people that kept the country running.


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[Assistant] When we were just coal-powered everything, and everyone needed to heat their homes, all the rest of it. I think that they're romanticized for quite a good reason.


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[Assistant] But maybe it's time to move on from the romanticized view and say, yes, you did great things in your time, uh, you know, people needed you and we didn't know that it was polluting and all the rest of it, but let's move on. That's my opinion.


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[Assistant] Uh, a question for the crew. This is a short one. Throughout your life, do you reckon you've had more pints or more wanks? And do you reckon this, this number has changed over your lifetime? Very good question, Lewis.


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[Assistant] I do drink so I think I'm gonna have to say we're probably running pretty close.


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[Assistant] Uhm, I mean I think generally 8 or 9 points would be about my limit.


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[Assistant] Oh dear. Here's one. This is, uh, from Anaban. Big fan and a regular listener from India. Would love for plaques to attempt the accent, but he probably shouldn't know.


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[Assistant] Uh, where I brought up a very valid point regarding the logic behind rebuilding cities again and again when there's the ever-present threat of Godzilla, King Kong, or any other kaiju.


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[Assistant] Just leveling it in an afternoon. From what I know, the only piece of popular media that addresses this is the Neon Genesis Evangelion.