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[Assistant] So Guan Xing and Zhang Bao headed off immediately and raced non-stop back to Zhuge Liang to tell him what happened and that, yes, apparently he does have to do everything himself.


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[Assistant] So Zhuge Liang ordered Zhao Yun and Wei Yan to each lead an army and go set up an ambush. He then personally led 30,000 men, along with the officers Jiang Wei and Zhang Yi, and accompanied Guan Xing and Zhang Bao back to their camp.


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[Assistant] The next day, Zhu Ge Liang went to a high vantage point to check out the situation.


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[Assistant] He saw the same impressive line of iron wagons and troops, but unlike Guan Xing, he simply said, It's not hard to beat this.


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[Assistant] So he first summoned Ma Dai and Zhang Yi and gave them some instructions and sent them on their way. He then summoned Jiang Wei and asked him, Do you know how to defeat the iron wagons?


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[Assistant] The Qiang rely only on their brute force. How can they understand your ingenious strategy? replied Jiang Wei, showing that he could lick boots with the best of them. And that made Zhuge Liang smile and say, You really understand me.


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[Assistant] Right now, the clouds are gathering and the wind is picking up.


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[Assistant] It's about to snow, and that is when I will put my plan into action.


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[Assistant] So Zhu Ge Liang sent Guan Xing and Zhang Bao off to set up another ambush, and then ordered Jiang Wei to lead some troops to go fight the enemy, with the order that if they encounter any iron chariots, they were to fall back immediately.


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[Assistant] Meanwhile, the camp would be occupied only by flags and banners, but no troops.


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[Assistant] Soon it was the end of the 12 months of the year, and just as expected, a heavy snow fell.


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[Assistant] Jiang Wei let his troops out to challenge for combat, and the Qiang commander Yue Ji answered with his iron chariots. Jiang Wei immediately turned and fled, and the Qiang forces gave chase.


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[Assistant] When they chased Jiang Wei back to the Shu camp, Jiang Wei escaped through the rear of the camp.


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[Assistant] When the Qiang soldiers arrived outside the camp, they could hear the strumming of a zither, the string instrument that Zhuge Liang was very fond of coming from within the camp. But all they could see was an empty camp with banners.


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[Assistant] Spooked by this, the Qiang soldiers quickly reported back to their commander, and Yue Ji was suspicious and he did not dare to advance lightly.


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[Assistant] Alright, so Yue Ji led his men to the front of the camp, where they saw Zhu Ge Liang getting into his carriage with a dither and fleeing through the rear of the camp with a few soldiers. The Qiang troops stormed into the camp and pursued Zhu Ge Liang through the mouth of a canyon.


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[Assistant] Where they saw his carriage disappear into some woods. So now what?


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[Assistant] But suddenly, a loud noise rang out, sounding like a mountain had just collapsed.


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[Assistant] Except, it wasn't a mountain, but a ground under foot that had collapsed. The Chang soldiers fell into a hidden trench, and before they could recover, the Iron War wagons, which had been pressing ahead at full speed behind the foot soldiers to keep up,


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[Assistant] Came crashing down on top of them because they could not stop.


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[Assistant] The rear of the column now tried to turn back, but it was too late.


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[Assistant] From the left came Guan Xing, and from the right charged Zhang Bao, leading two hidden armies to attack, accompanied by arrows and bolts.


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[Assistant] Tens of thousands of crossbows. From the rear arrived three more detachments of Shu forces, led by the generals Jiang Wei, Ma Dai and Zhang Yi.


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[Assistant] The Qiang troops fell into disarray, and their commander Yue Ji fled toward the canyon behind them. But he ran smack dab into Guan Xing, and this time, within just one bout, Guan Xing let out a loud roar and cut down Yue Ji.


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[Assistant] See dad, I can do this myself. No need for you to run out on the field and embarrass me in front of the other kids.


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[Assistant] While Guan Xing was busy proving himself to Ghost Guan Yu, Ma Dai was busy capturing the Qiang Prime Minister Ya Dan and bringing him to Zhuge Liang's camp while the Qiang forces scattered.


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[Assistant] Zhuge Liang now ordered Ya Dan be untied, served him wine, and consoled him with kind words, which deeply touched Ya Dan.


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[Assistant] My lord is the emperor of the Han, Zhuge Liang said to his prisoner.


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[Assistant] He has ordered me to bring the rebels to justice. So why are you helping the traders?


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[Assistant] I will let you go. Please go tell your lord that our kingdoms are neighbors and should form an eternal friendship. Do not listen to the words of traitors.


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[Assistant] Zhuge Liang then returned all the soldiers, chariots, horses and weapons that his men had seized during the battle and allowed Ya Dan to take them all back to the Qiang nation.


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[Assistant] Ya Dan and company bowed in gratitude and took their leave. Zhuge Liangden immediately turned his army back toward his main base at Mount Qi, sending Guan Xing and Zhang Bao on ahead.


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[Assistant] Now, back on the other front of this war, the Wei commander Cao Zhen was eagerly awaiting news from the Qiang relief force. Suddenly, his scouts came to report that the Shu forces were packing up and leaving. The deputy commander, Guo Huai, was delighted.


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[Assistant] They must be leaving because of the Chiang attack, he said.


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[Assistant] So they immediately split their forces into two and pursue the retreating enemy. They saw up ahead that the Shu soldiers were running in this array, so the Wei troops pressed forward even harder.


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[Assistant] But just as the vanguard general Cao Zun was giving chase, he heard a loud, earth-shaking sound of drums as an army darted out.


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[Assistant] Rebel, stop! The general at the head of this army shouted. It was none other than Wei Yan. Cao Zun was shocked and he did not last three bouts before being cut down by Wei Yan.


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[Assistant] Meanwhile, the other vanguard general Zhu Zhan was also giving chase when he stumbled into an ambush led by Zhao Yun, and Zhao Yun needed just one thrust of his spear to finish Zhu Zhan.


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[Assistant] When Cao Jun and Guo Huai got word that their vanguard generals were no more, they decided to fall back.


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[Assistant] But before they could order a retreat, loud roars and the sound of drums and horns rose up from behind as Guan Xing and Zhang Bao attacked from two sides, trapping Cao Zhen and Guo Huai and really letting them have it.


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[Assistant] The two Wei commanders managed to fight their way out, but their loss was total. The Shu forces pursued them all the way to the Wei River and seized their camp.


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[Assistant] Once this beatdown was mercifully over, Cao Zhen was deeply saddened by the loss of his two vanguard generals, and he now had no choice but to write to his emperor and ask for help. See? He wasn't just being humble when he told his emperor that he was not up to the task.


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[Assistant] When the Wei Emperor Cao Rui received this urgent request, he was stunned and asked if anybody had any bright ideas. You know, aside from great ideas like, hey, let's send Cao Zhen into battle against Zhu Ge Liang.


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[Assistant] To command men requires superior knowledge. As the great military mind Sun Tzu said, Know the enemy, know thyself and you will never know defeat.


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[Assistant] In my estimation, Cao Zhen may be experienced in war, but he is no match for Zhuge Liang.


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[Assistant] I will stake the lives of everyone in my family to vouch for one man who can repel the Shu army. Would your majesty approve my recommendation?


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[Assistant] In the past, Zhuge Liang had wanted to invade our territory.


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[Assistant] If you bring back this person now, Zhuge Liang will naturally retreat.


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[Assistant] Cao Rui asked whom Zhong Yao was referring to, and Zhong Yao told him, the general of the flying cavalry, Si Ma Yi.


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[Assistant] I also regret what happened, Cao Rui sighed. Where is he now?


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[Assistant] I have heard that he is living in idleness in the city of Wancheng, Zhongyao said.


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[Assistant] So Cao Rui immediately dispatched an envoy with a decree, restoring Sima Yi to his former position and adding the title of the commander who pacifies the west.


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[Assistant] The decree also ordered Sima Yi to mobilize the forces in his region and march them to Chang'an. Cao Rui himself would personally go oversee this campaign, and Sima Yi was ordered to rendezvous with him at Chang'an by a certain date.


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[Assistant] Meanwhile, on the front lines, Zhuge Liang was secretly feeling rather optimistic given that he had won one engagement after another since his campaign began.


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[Assistant] One day, he was having a staff meeting at his base at Mount Qi, when suddenly, the guards told him that Li Feng, the son of the Shu official Li Yan, had come to see him on the order of his father.


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[Assistant] Now, Li Yan was stationed at the key city of Bai Di on the eastern borders of the Shu Kingdom, where he was to keep an eye on the frenemy kingdom of Wu to make sure that this supposed ally didn't try anything funny while Zhuge Liang was away campaigning in the north.


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[Assistant] So now, Zhuge Liang could only assume that Li Yan had sent his son here because Wu was up to no good, so he summoned Li Feng with concern. But what he heard was a surprise. I come bearing great news! Li Feng said. What is this great news? Zhuge Liang asked.


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[Assistant] Previously, the former Shu General Meng Da surrendered to Wei because he had no choice.


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[Assistant] When Cao Pi was alive, Meng Da received his favor and was awarded with riches, once allowed to share Cao Pi's royal carriage and given prestigious ranks as well as the governorship of the city of Xin Cheng and oversight of the southwestern region of Wei.


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[Assistant] I used to be a shoe general, and my present situation is not by choice.


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[Assistant] So he sent his confidant to deliver a letter to my father, asking him to send it on to Your Excellency.


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[Assistant] Before, when Wei tried to wage a five-prong attack on our kingdom, Meng Da had already wanted to do this. And now, he is stationed at Xin Cheng, and has heard that Your Excellency is invading Wei.


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[Assistant] So, he wants to mobilize the forces of the cities of Xincheng, Jincheng and Shangyong to turn against the Wei and make straight for the Wei capital Luoyang while your excellency attack Chang'an.


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[Assistant] That would give us control of both important cities. I have brought Mengda's envoy and the numerous letters that he has submitted to my father. So let's hit pause for just a second here.


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[Assistant] Mengda is a name that we haven't heard in a while, so let's do a quick refresher. He used to serve Liu Zhang, the former Lord of the Riverlands, but he was one of the three original conspirators who schemed to deliver the region into the hands of Liu Bei.


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[Assistant] So when Liu Bei gained control of the river lands, Meng Da was riding high.


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[Assistant] But his standing with Liu Bei began to slip later on.


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[Assistant] And things really hit the fan when Guan Yu, in his most desperate hour, reached out to Meng Da and Liu Bei's adopted son Liu Feng for help.


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[Assistant] Meng Da was the one who convinced Liu Feng to refuse his uncle's request, thus contributing to Guan Yu's demise.


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[Assistant] Needless to say, this landed him on Liu Bei's hit list when the latter set out to avenge Guan Yu.


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[Assistant] Before Liu Bei could get to him, Meng Da decided to surrender to Wei, sending a resignation letter to Liu Bei, in which he made a big to-do about, hey, let's part ways while we're still in good terms, yada yada.


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[Assistant] Well, I guess now he has discovered that the grass really isn't greener on the other side.


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[Assistant] Really, the man just strikes me as a serial defector with a loose grasp on the concept of loyalty.


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[Assistant] But Meng Da's questionable past notwithstanding, this was amazing news for Zhuge Liang. Think about it. While he is cruising along on the western borders of Wei, Meng Da was now offering to turn this campaign into a two-pronged assault on the two most important locations in Wei.


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[Assistant] And since the Wei forces were already stretched thin, trying to fend off Zhu Ge Liang, they were going to be in dire straits if they have to race back to save their capital as well.


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[Assistant] So Zhuge Liang was delighted, and he rewarded Li Feng handsomely for bringing him this good news.


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[Assistant] But the good vibes did not last long. Just then, spies brought another set of intel. Cao Rui was marching toward Chang'an, and in the meantime, he had restored Si Ma Yi to his former position, plus a promotion, ordering him to mobilize the troops in his region to rendezvous at Chang'an.


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[Assistant] When he heard this, Zhu Ge Liang was greatly alarmed. His advisor, Ma Su, asked him,


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[Assistant] What is there to be afraid of? If Cao Rui comes to Chang'an, then we can use that opportunity to capture him. Why is Your Excellency so alarmed?


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[Assistant] I am not worried about Cao Rui, Zhuge Liang explained.


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[Assistant] The only person I am worried about is Si Ma Yi.


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[Assistant] Right now, Meng Da is plotting an uprising. But if he runs into Si Ma Yi, he will be defeated for sure. Meng Da is no match for Si Ma Yi. If they face off, Meng Da would be captured. If he dies, then it would be difficult to take the Heartlands.


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[Assistant] Why don't you write an urgent letter to Meng Da telling him to be on guard against Si Ma Yi? Masu suggested.


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[Assistant] Zhu Ge Liang agreed and immediately wrote a letter and gave it to Meng Da's envoy and told him to take it back with all due haste.


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[Assistant] So now, let's skip on over to visit Mengda in the city of Xincheng.


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[Assistant] He had been anxiously awaiting the return of his envoy, and one day that envoy came back and presented the letter from Zhuge Liang. It said,


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[Assistant] Sir, your recent letter was ample evidence of your loyal and honorable heart. I am delighted that you have not forgotten our old ties. If we succeed, then you will be the one most responsible for the revitalization of the Han dynasty.


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[Assistant] But, we must proceed discreetly. Do not trust anyone lightly. Be on guard. Be forewarned. I have recently heard that Cao Rui has recalled Sima Yi to mobilize the forces of Wan Cheng and Luo Yang. If he hears about your uprising, then he will rush to you.


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[Assistant] Please, take every precaution. Do not treat this as something routine.


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[Assistant] When Meng Da finished reading this letter, he just laughed. Everybody says Zhu Ge Liang is overly cautious, and this proves it.


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[Assistant] He then wrote a letter and sent his confidant back to Zhuge Liang. This reply said


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[Assistant] Having received this weighty charge, I dare not relax.


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[Assistant] As far as Si Ma Yi is concerned, there is no need to worry. Wan Cheng is more than 250 miles from Luoyang and 400 miles from where I am. If Si Ma Yi hears about my insurrection, he would have to first inform Cao Rui before taking action.


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[Assistant] That back and forth would take a month, and by then, my city will be well fortified and my officers and troops will be stationed in strategically advantageous positions. If Sima Yi comes my way, what need have I to fear him then?


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[Assistant] Your Excellency, need not worry, just wait for my good news.


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[Assistant] Oh boy, this is not sounding so good, and Zhuge Liang thought as much. When he finished reading this letter, he threw it to the ground and stamped his foot.


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[Assistant] Mengda will die at Sima Yi's hand for sure, he lamented.


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[Assistant] Why does your excellency say that? The advisor Masu asked.


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[Assistant] As the art of war says, attack the enemy when he is unprepared. Appear where he does not expect you.


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[Assistant] How can you expect to have a month's time? Since Cao Rui has delegated authority to Sima Yi, he will clear out rebels wherever he finds them.


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[Assistant] Unfortunately, it's not the guys in the tent that Zhuge Liang was worried about. He hurriedly instructed Mengda's messenger. Tell your master.


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[Assistant] Until you act, let no one know your thoughts, or defeat will be certain.


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[Assistant] The messenger then took his leave and hurried back towards Xincheng.


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[Assistant] Now, let's go back in time just a bit and see what Sima Yi had been up to during his involuntary early retirement. And the answer was, well, not much.


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[Assistant] Residing in idleness in Wancheng, he did manage to stay abreast of the news, and when he heard that the Wei forces had suffered one defeat after another against Shu, he would look skyward and sigh.


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[Assistant] Now, Si Ma Yi had two sons, the elder named Si Ma Shi, and the younger named Si Ma Zhao, and both were men of great ambitions and well-versed in military techs, and both of them will come to play key roles in our narrative going forward, so keep them in mind.


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[Assistant] One day, while the two sons were standing next to their father, they saw him let out another long sigh, and they asked him why. He told them,


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[Assistant] How can the likes of you understand such important affairs?


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[Assistant] Are you sighing over the fact that the Lord of Way refused your service? The elder son Sima Shi asked him.


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[Assistant] They will come summon father sooner or later, the younger son Sima Jiao said with a smile.


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[Assistant] And sure enough, before he was done talking, Cao Rui's envoy arrived, delivering the decree that recalls Sima Yi to service and order him to rendezvous at Chang'an.


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[Assistant] But just then, another man showed up. He was a servant of Shen Yi, the governor of one of the three cities whose forces that Meng Da had planned to enlist in his uprising. So yeah, there goes your secret rebellion.


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[Assistant] To see who will win this race against time with the fate of the Wei Kingdom hanging in the balance, tune in to the next episode of the Romance of the Three Kingdoms podcast. Thanks for listening.


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[Assistant] Welcome to the Romance of the Three Kingdoms Podcast. This is episode 110.


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[Assistant] Last time, Zhuge Liang's deft combination of military deployment and diplomatic maneuvering had brought about peace for the Kingdom of Shu on its northern borders with Wei and eastern borders with Wu.


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[Assistant] But, around the same time, trouble was stirring on Shu's southwestern borders.


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[Assistant] Meng Huo, the king of the Nanman, or southern barbarians, had convinced the governors of three borderland districts to rebel against the authority of the Shu, and the barbarian forces were staging raids in the area.


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[Assistant] The three renegade governors were also laying siege to another district on the border, whose governor was the lone holdout.


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[Assistant] But Sun Quan lurks in the east and Cao Pi looms in the north, Liu Shan said. Minister Father, if you abandon me and our rivals come to attack, what would we do?


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[Assistant] Dongwu has just made peace with us, and so should not be harboring ill intent, Zhuge Liang said. But even if they do, Li Yan is overseeing the key city of Bai Di, and he is more than a match for the Dongwu commander Lu Xun.


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[Assistant] As for Cao Pi, he just suffered a defeat and is licking his wounds, so he is unable to mount a distant campaign.


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[Assistant] With Ma Chao defending the various passes in Han Zhong, there is no need for worry.


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[Assistant] I will also leave the Generals Guan Xing and Zhang Bao to each lead an army as backup, just in case.


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[Assistant] I will first go pacify the barbarian territories and then march north to conquer the heartlands so as to repay the kindness that the first emperor bestowed upon me when he paid me three visits and when he entrusted your highness to me.


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[Assistant] But just then, an official stepped forth and vehemently protested. This was the court counselor, Wang Lian.


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[Assistant] The South is a far-off wilderness of rampant pestilence, not the kind of place for someone as important as the Prime Minister to go campaigning. The likes of the renegade Governor Yongkai are no great concern. His Excellency should only send a general, and success will still be assured.


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[Assistant] The southern barbarians' territory lies too far from our kingdom for the civilizing influence of our court to reach them. Zhuge Liang countered.


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[Assistant] To win their allegiance, I must first subdue them. It will take a delicate balance of lenient and harsh measures, and it's not a task that can be easily entrusted to someone else.


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[Assistant] So try as he might, Wang Lian had no luck in convincing Zhuge Liang to delegate this mission to somebody else.


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[Assistant] That very day, Zhuge Liang took his leave of Liu Shan and marched out with 500,000 men and a few dozen officers. He appointed the veterans Zhao Yun and Wei Yan as his chief generals, putting them in overall command of the army.


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[Assistant] Wang Ping and Zhang Yi served as their lieutenants.


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[Assistant] But in case you can't tell, the old host of familiar names that have followed us through much of the novel have been dying off. So we're going to start meeting some new faces. So I figure I should go ahead and introduce them here, as you will hear these names off and on going forward.


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[Assistant] Just as they were about to head out, Zhu Ge Liang received a surprise visitor. Guan Suo, the third son of Guan Yu. So yea, Guan Yu had a third son. Who knew?


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[Assistant] Recently, I recovered and found out that all those who had wronged my father were dead, so I came to see the Emperor. On my way, I ran into your army, so I came to pay my respects.


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[Assistant] Touched by Gwenso's travails, which, as far as I can tell, involved him lying in bed while lying low for the last few years.


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[Assistant] Zhu Ge Liang sent a messenger back to the capital Chengdu to relay his account to the emperor.


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[Assistant] He then appointed Guan Suo to head up the vanguard of his southern expedition army. The troops marched south in an organized fashion and without incident, which was a feat in itself in this era of constant warfare wreaking havoc on the local populations.


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[Assistant] Word of this army's progress soon reached the three renegade governors, Yongkai, Zhu Bao, and Gao Ding.


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[Assistant] They split their forces into three battalions, each consisting of about 60,000 men, to go meet the enemy. Gao Ding headed up the battalion in the center, while Yong Kai led the left, and Zhu Bao the right.


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[Assistant] Gao Ding appointed an officer named E Huan to lead his vanguard. This E Huan stood about six foot eight. His face was ferocious and ugly. He wielded a halberd and had the valor of ten thousand men.


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[Assistant] When he got the order, Erhuan set out with the troops under his command to meet the oncoming Shu army.


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[Assistant] On the other side, Zhuge Liang's army had just arrived at the border of Yi province. The vanguard general Wei Yan, along with his lieutenants Zhang Yi and Wang Ping, had barely crossed over the border when they ran into E Huan.


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[Assistant] So the two sides lined up, and Wei Yan rode out and gave the typical, rebel scum, surrender now, speech. Shockingly, the rebels did not surrender. Instead, Er Huan rode forth to trade blows with Wei Yan.


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[Assistant] After a few bouts, Wei Yan turned and fled, and E Huan gave chase. But they had not gone far when suddenly, amid earth-shattering cries, troops led by Wei Yan's two lieutenants charged out from the flanks and cut off E Huan's path of retreat.


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[Assistant] Wei Yan now turned around, and the combined might of him and his two lieutenants proved too much as they captured Er Huan alive. Well, that was easy.


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[Assistant] The victorious generals brought their prisoner to see Zhu Ge Liang. Zhu Ge Liang ordered that E Huan be untied and treated to wine and food. He then asked E Huan who his commander was. When E Huan told him that it was the governor Gao Ding, Zhu Ge Liang said,


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[Assistant] I know Gao Ding is a loyal and honorable man.


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[Assistant] He must have been deceived by Yongkai into betraying us. I will let you go.


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[Assistant] When you get back, tell Governor Gao to surrender immediately so that he may avoid calamity.


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[Assistant] Granted this unexpected leniency, Erhuan thanked Zhuge Liang and left. When he returned to camp, he sang Zhuge Liang's praises to Gao Ding, and Gao Ding was also touched. And with that, a seed was sown.


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[Assistant] The next day, one of the other turncoat governors, Yongkai, came to see Gao Ding and asked him how was it that E Huan managed to come back alive after being captured. When Gao Ding told him that Zhuge Liang had spared his officer for the sake of honor, Yongkai scoffed.


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[Assistant] This is Zhuge Liang's trick to pit us against each other, he told Gao Ding.


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[Assistant] But Gao Ding was not convinced and could not make up his mind about his next move.


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[Assistant] Just then, word came that the Shu General Wei Yan was outside challenging for combat. Yong Kai personally went out to meet him. After a few bouts, Yong Kai was no match for Wei Yan, so he turned and fled, and Wei Yan advanced his army, giving chase for a few miles.


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[Assistant] The next day, Yongkai returned with his troops ready for another battle. But now, Zhu Ge Liang refused to give him a fight. In fact, Zhu Ge Liang ordered his troops to stay in their camp for three straight days.


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[Assistant] On the fourth day, Yong Kai and Gao Ding got sick of waiting, so they mounted a two-prong assault on the Shu camp. But this was exactly what Zhuge Liang had been expecting.


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[Assistant] In fact, he had already ordered Wei Yan to set up two ambushes, and Yong Kai and Gao Ding walked straight into the traps. While the two governors managed to escape, more than half of their men were killed, while countless others were taken prisoner. So again, that was easy.


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[Assistant] There, they split up the captives. All of Yong Kai's men were kept on one side, while all of Gao Ding's men were kept on the other side.


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[Assistant] As these prisoners awaited their fate, which they all expected to be execution, they overheard some Shu soldiers talking. These soldiers were saying that all of Gao Ding's men were going to be spared, while all of Yong Kai's men were going to be executed.


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[Assistant] Momentarily, Zhuge Liang ordered that Yongkai's soldiers be brought before him. Who is your commander? he asked them.


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[Assistant] Now, all these guys had just heard a couple minutes ago that Gao Ding's men were going to be spared while they, Yong Kai's men, were going to get the axe. So predictably, they all lied and said they were from Gao Ding's unit.


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[Assistant] Zhu Ge Liang did not press them on this, and instead ordered that they be spared. In fact, not only spared, but also treated to wine and food before being sent on their way.


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[Assistant] Next, Zhu Ge Liang summoned the remaining prisoners and asked them who their commander was. Now, these guys saw what just happened and they were probably not too happy with their comrades. They pleaded with Zhu Ge Liang and said, we really are from Gao Ding's unit.


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[Assistant] Now, obviously, anyone could tell that something wasn't quite adding up here, but Zhuge Liang didn't care. He also took their word for it and set them free with parting gifts of wine and food. But, he also gave them one more thing, a message. Zhuge Liang told the soldiers,


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[Assistant] Yongkai has sent a messenger to me to offer his surrender.


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[Assistant] He intends to do me a favor by bringing me the heads of your master and the other rebel governor Zhu Bao.


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[Assistant] But I cannot bear to see your commander killed. Since you are from Galdin's unit, I will spare you. Do not rebel again. If I capture you again, there will be no mercy.


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[Assistant] So, Gao Ding's men offer their thanks and scamper back to their own camp, where they relay to their commander what Zhuge Liang had told them. Gao Ding then sends some spies to Yong Kai's camp to see what's going on there.


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[Assistant] They came back and said that all of Yongkai's men that Zhuge Liang had let go were praising Zhuge Liang's virtue, and many were thinking about defecting to Gao Ding's unit instead, since it seemed like Gao Ding had some special connection to Zhuge Liang, and everybody wanted to hop on the winning team's bandwagon.


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[Assistant] But despite this intel, Gao Ding was still not sure with what his men told him was true. So he sent a spy to see what's going on in Zhu Ge Liang's camp.


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[Assistant] But this spy was captured in route by Zhuge Liang's men, and they brought him to see Zhuge Liang. Now this was the opportunity Zhuge Liang had been waiting for to make his next move.


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[Assistant] Pretending that he had mistaken the spy as someone from Yong Kai's unit rather than Gao Ding's, Zhu Ge Liang said to him,


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[Assistant] Your commander had promised to deliver the heads of Gao Ding and Zhu Bao. Why is he late?


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[Assistant] The spy mumbled his way through the exchange without giving away which rebel governor he really served. And then Zhuge Liang gave him a meal and a secret letter, telling him,


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[Assistant] Bring this letter back to Yongkai. Tell him to make his move soon so that he doesn't screw things up.


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[Assistant] Happy to escape with his life and some unexpected intel, the spy hurried back to camp to tell Gao Ding and showed him Zhu Ge Liang's letter to Yong Kai. Upon reading the letter, Gao Ding was furious at Yong Kai.


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[Assistant] I have been sincere with you, and yet, you are planning to kill me. How can I just let this go? Gauteng said angrily.


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[Assistant] So Gao Ding quickly summoned his officer, E Huan, to discuss what to do. Now remember that E Huan himself was spared by Zhuge Liang, so it should be no surprise what he suggested.


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[Assistant] Zhu Ge Liang is humane. It would be bad luck to turn our back on him, Erhuan said. Yong Kai is the reason we all became rebels.


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[Assistant] Why don't we kill him and surrender to Zhu Ge Liang? But how do we do it? Gao Ding asked.


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[Assistant] Invite Yongkai to come to a feast. If he is not harboring any ill intent, then he would surely come without hesitation. But if he refuses, then he must be up to no good. You can then attack his camp from the front, while I lie in wait behind his camp to capture him.


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[Assistant] Gaoding went along with that and sent an invitation to Yongkai to come party at his camp.


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[Assistant] Well, Yongkai was mindful of what his men had told him, that Zhu Ge Liang was holding the door open for Gao Ding to switch sides, so Yongkai was understandably suspicious of this invitation, and declined it.


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[Assistant] Of course, that gave Gaoding all the evidence he needed to conclude that Yongkai was indeed plotting against him. So that very night, Gaoding led his army and launched an attack on Yongkai's camp.


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[Assistant] Inside Yongkai's camp, all those men that Zhuge Liang has spared were already feeling pretty indebted to Gao Ding, whose apparent connection with Zhuge Liang has saved their lives.


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[Assistant] So when Gaoding came to attack, they were all too eager to switch sides. Yongkai's army quickly fell into disarray without much of a fight.


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[Assistant] Seeing that things were going south, Yongkai hopped on his horse and fled along a mountain path.


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[Assistant] He had not gone even a mile, though, when suddenly, a squad of soldiers charged out at the sound of drums. At their head was Gao Ding's officer, E Huan.


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[Assistant] Yongkai was caught off guard, and Eehwan needed just one thrust of his halberd to stab Yongkai off his horse. Eehwan then cut off his head, and Yongkai's men all surrendered to Gao Ding.


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[Assistant] The coup complete, Gao Ding now led his new combined army to go surrender to Zhu Ge Liang.


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[Assistant] Upon entering Zhu Ge Liang's tent, he offered up Yong Kai's head. But, much to his surprise, he was not greeted with welcoming words, but rather an order from Zhu Ge Liang for the executioners to drag him outside and behead him.


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[Assistant] I was touched by your excellency's kindness, so I brought Yongkai's head and came to surrender. Why do you want to execute me? Zhu Ge Liang let out a big laugh and replied,


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[Assistant] You are pretending to surrender. How dare you try to deceive me?


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[Assistant] Why does your excellency think I am trying to deceive you? Gao Ding asked.


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[Assistant] At that, Zhu Ge Liang produced the letter and said,


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[Assistant] The other governor, Zhu Bao, has already sent me this message, informing me that you and Yong Kai are sworn brothers. So how could you have killed Yong Kai? That is how I know you are trying to trick me.


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[Assistant] Zhu Bao is lying. You must not believe him. Gao Ding protested.


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[Assistant] It's hard to know whose word to trust, Zhuge Liang said.


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[Assistant] If you can capture Zhu Bao, that would prove your sincerity.


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[Assistant] There's no need for your excellency to doubt me. I will go capture Zhu Bao right now.


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[Assistant] If you can do that, then I will have no more doubts.


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[Assistant] So Gao Ding immediately set out with Er Huan and his troops, marching toward Zhu Bao's camp. When they were a few miles away from the camp, they came across another army, led by none other than Zhu Bao.


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[Assistant] Now, Zhu Bao was in the dark about everything that had just transpired, so when he saw Gao Ding, he rolled up to talk to him. But boy was he in for a surprise.


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[Assistant] Why did you write to the Prime Minister to try to do me in? Gauteng cursed aloud.


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[Assistant] Having absolutely no idea what Gao Ding was talking about, Zhu Bao was taken aback and could not answer. Just then, E Huan flashed behind him and stabbed him off his horse, while Gao Ding shouted to Zhu Bao's men,


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[Assistant] Well, the men were not very particular which rebel governor they followed, or even if that governor was a rebel, as long as it meant keeping their own heads. So they all surrendered at once. Gao Ding now returned to Zhuge Liang's camp and offered up Zhu Bao's head.


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[Assistant] Now, Zhuge Liang greeted him with a big smile.


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[Assistant] I intentionally had you kill these two traders to prove your loyalty, he told Gao Ding.


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[Assistant] He then appointed Gao Ding as the governor of Yi province, with authority over the three districts that he and his now headless former comrade once commanded.


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[Assistant] Zhu Ge Liang also rewarded E Huan with an appointment as the governor's garrison commander.


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[Assistant] And just like that, Zhuge Liang had put down the three traders' rebellion while barely breaking a sweat. Well, that was easy.


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[Assistant] With the siege on the holdout district of Yongchang lifted, that district's governor, Wang Kang, came out of the city to welcome Zhu Ge Liang. Zhu Ge Liang asked him who had helped him keep the city out of enemy hands, and Wang Kang sang the praises of his deputy.


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[Assistant] It was all thanks to a local man, Lyu Kai. He told Zhu Ge Liang.


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[Assistant] So, Zhu Ge Liang asked Lv Kai to join them and said,


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[Assistant] I have long heard that you are a talent in this district, and that it was all thanks to you that the city held.


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[Assistant] What great insights can you offer about pacifying the barbarian territories?


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[Assistant] Lyukai apparently was just itching for somebody to ask him that question because he immediately produced a map and showed it to Zhuge Liang.


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[Assistant] Ever since I took office, I knew that southern tribes were going to rebel, he said.


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[Assistant] So I secretly sent people into their territory to scout out areas where you may garrison armies and stage battles. I have put it all on a map, which I have named a handy guide for pacifying the man. I would like to offer this for your eyes.


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[Assistant] Zhu Ge Liang was thrilled to have this handy dandy guide to suppressing the local indigenous push for independence.


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[Assistant] So he appointed Liu Kai as the military instructor and official guide for his army.


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[Assistant] Then, they headed out for the heart of the nine-man nation's territory.


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[Assistant] Just as they were about to set out, an envoy arrived from Chengdu, bearing a message from the young emperor Liu Shan.


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[Assistant] When Zhuge Liang summoned the envoy, a man clad in white entered. This was Ma Su, who had served Zhuge Liang before as an advisor. He was wearing white because he was in mourning after the recent off-screen death of his brother Ma Liang, who had also been a valuable advisor.


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[Assistant] His highness has commanded me to bring wine and silk as rewards for the troops, Ma Su told Zhu Ge Liang. Zhu Ge Liang ordered the gifts be distributed among the men. He then kept Ma Su in his tent to catch up.


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[Assistant] I am here by His Highness's decree to pacify the barbarians, Zhuge Liang said. I have long heard that you possess great insight. I hope you will instruct me.


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[Assistant] Now, this was no small praise coming from Zhuge Liang, and Ma Su did not hesitate to offer his opinion.


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[Assistant] I have one piece of unworthy advice that I hope Your Excellency will consider.


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[Assistant] Because they reside in a distant and treacherous territory, the Nanmen have long been recalcitrant.


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[Assistant] Even if we defeat them today, they will rebel again tomorrow.


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[Assistant] While your Excellency's army is here, they will no doubt be brought to heel. But when you leave, your next move will be to attack Cao Pi in the north. As soon as the Nan-Man know that you are away, they will rebel again.


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[Assistant] So, we should follow the law of warfare. Besieging hearts is superior to besieging cities. Psychological warfare is better than physical warfare.


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[Assistant] I hope you will find it sufficient to win their hearts.


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[Assistant] Upon hearing this, Zhuge Liang sighed and said, I am an open book to you.


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[Assistant] Quite impressed with Ma Su, Zhu Ge Liang kept him on as military advisor and resumed his march.


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[Assistant] While Zhuge Liang's army marched on, word of their early success had reached Meng Huo, the king of the Nanman people. So he summoned three tribal leaders loyal to him.


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[Assistant] Now, in the novel, these guys were referred to as cave leaders. Hey, look at that. Savages living in caves. How predictably demeaning.


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[Assistant] Anyway, the three commanders were Jin Huan San Jie, Dong Tuna, and Ah Hui Nan.


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[Assistant] So the first guy, Jin Huan Sanjie, his name is a mouthful, so from here on out, I'm just gonna call him Goldie, because the first character of his name means gold.


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[Assistant] So, Goldie, Dong Tuna, and Ah Hui Nan all showed up, and Meng Huo said to them,


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[Assistant] The Prime Minister Zhuge Liang is encroaching on our territory with a large army. We must resist. You will lead three armies to meet him. Whoever wins shall be the lord of all the caves.


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[Assistant] So the three commanders headed off with 50,000 troops each, with Goldie leading the army in the center, Dong Tuna on the left, and Ah Hui Nan on the right.


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[Assistant] Word of their movements soon reached Zhuge Liang, who was sitting in his tent, planning his next move. When he heard the intel, Zhuge Liang summoned his top generals, Zhao Yun and Wei Yan.


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[Assistant] But, when they arrived, he simply ignored them.


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[Assistant] Instead, Zhu Ge Liang turned to Wang Ping and Ma Zhong, two subordinate officers, and said,


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[Assistant] The barbarians are coming with three armies. I was going to send General Zhao and General Wei to face them, but the two of them are not familiar with the terrain, so I dare not use them.


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[Assistant] Wang Ping, you will go meet the enemy on the left. Ma Zhong, you will go take on the enemy on the right. I will send Zhao Yun and Wei Yan to back you up. Get the troops ready today and set out at first light tomorrow.


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[Assistant] So Wang Ping and Ma Zhong accepted their orders and went off. And by the way, this Ma Zhong is obviously not the same Ma Zhong as the Dongwu officer who captured Guan Yu and was later killed. He just happens to have a similar sounding name.


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[Assistant] So after the two of them left, Zhuge Liang handed out another set of orders, but again, he snubbed Zhao Yun and Wei Yan while they were still standing there.


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[Assistant] This time, he called for the Generals Zhang Yi and Zhang Yi.


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[Assistant] And no, these guys are not related, despite their similar sounding names. The novel just likes to pair them together to make it more confusing.


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[Assistant] You two will lead an army to take on the enemy's center, Zhu Ge Liang told them. Get the troops ready today, and tomorrow advance with Wang Ping and Ma Zhong. I was going to send Zhao Yun and Wei Yan, but alas, they are not familiar with the geography, so I dare not use them yet.


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[Assistant] So, Jiang Yi and Jiang Yi took their orders and went off.


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[Assistant] By now, Zhao Yun and Wei Yan had heard every word that Zhuge Liang had said, especially the part about how he did not dare to use them.


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[Assistant] And I worry that if I send you into unknown dangers, you might fall victim to the barbarian's trap and lose your metal.


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[Assistant] What if we do know the geography? What then? Zhao Yun asked.


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[Assistant] But Zhu Ge Liang merely told him, the two of you need to be cautious. Do not act rashly.


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[Assistant] Disappointed, Zhao Yun and Wei Yan took their leave.


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[Assistant] So, Zhuge Liang summoned his top two generals only to snub them, made them stand there and listen to him tell their subordinates why their commanders were knocked up to the task, and then told said commanders to their faces that they were past their prime.


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[Assistant] What kind of talent management is that? Did he really expect Zhao Yun and Wei Yan would listen to him when he told him to not get any funny ideas? I mean, after enduring all that, it seems like they would go do exactly that. Oh, I see.


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[Assistant] To find out what kind of funny ideas Zhao Yun and Wei Yan will come up with, tune in to the next episode of the Romance of the Three Kingdoms podcast. Thanks for listening.


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[Assistant] Welcome to the Romance of the Three Kingdoms Podcast. This is episode 135.


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[Assistant] Last time, the Kingdom of Shu was in trouble. Its indispensable man, Zhu Ge Liang, had died. And what's more, its most fierce warrior, the General Wei Yan, had started a rebellion.


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[Assistant] But, when Wei Yan confronted a detachment of the Shu army,


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[Assistant] Most of his own men quickly deserted since they were in no mood to fight their own countrymen. They all just wanted to go home. Wei Yan tried yelling at them, and he tried chasing them, and then he tried killing a few of them, but nothing worked, and his army quickly dissipated.


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[Assistant] But, there was one unit that did not budge.


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[Assistant] It was the 300 men under the command of the General Ma Dai who had been serving in Wei Yan's unit when Wei Yan decided to rebel.


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[Assistant] Sir, Wei Yan said to Ma Dai, if you are sincere about helping me, then when I succeed, I will not forget you.


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[Assistant] Ma Dai said, yeah, okay, that sounds good. By this time, the Shu forces that confronted them had retreated, so the two of them regrouped what was left of their army and tried to figure out their next move.


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[Assistant] How about we go serve the Kingdom of Wei? Wei Yan suggested.


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[Assistant] Now, Nan Zheng was also where the Ming Shu army was garrisoned, led by the senior advisor Yang Yi and the general Jiang Wei.


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[Assistant] Whom Zhuge Liang had left in charge of the army after his death.


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[Assistant] When they saw Wei Yan's forces approaching with a head of steam, Jiang Wei quickly ordered the drawbridge be pulled up.


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[Assistant] Wei Yan and Ma Dai now shouted from the foot of the city demanding that the troops inside surrender. Jiang Wei asked Yang Yi,


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[Assistant] Before his excellency died, he left me a silk pouch and said that if Wei Yan rebels, I am to open the pouch when we are facing him on the field of battle, and his scheme to kill Wei Yan will present itself. We should look at it now.


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[Assistant] So he took out the pouch. On the outside, it said, do not open until you are on your horse across from Wei Yan on the field of battle. That was good enough for Jiang Wei.


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[Assistant] Since His Excellency had left specific instructions, you should hold on to the pouch for now, he told Yang Yi. I will lead our troops outside and line up for battle, and then you can come out.


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[Assistant] So Jiang Wei donned his armor, grabbed his spear, and let 3,000 men outside. Backed by rolling drums, they lined up in battle formation. Jiang Wei sat atop his horse under the main banner and shouted, Wei Yan, you traitor! The Prime Minister treated you well! Why are you rebelling?


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[Assistant] Gripping his saber and his reins, Wei Yan shouted back, This has nothing to do with you. Go tell Yang Yi to come out.


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[Assistant] During this exchange, Yang Yi was hiding out behind the main banner. He now opened the pouch and read the message inside.


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[Assistant] A moment later, he rolled out from his lines, pointed a finger at Wei Yan, and laughed.


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[Assistant] When the Prime Minister was alive, he always knew that you would rebel one day, so he told me to be prepared. And now, you have proven him correct.


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[Assistant] Yang Yi, you scoundrel, listen up. When Zhuge Liang was alive, I did fear him a little bit. But now that he is dead, who in the empire dares to face me? I would have no problem shouting those words 30,000 times, much less three times.


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[Assistant] A voice rang out from behind Wei Yan before he had finished speaking, and in the blink of an eye, a saber flashed and something hit the ground with a thud. That something was Wei Yan's lifeless body, and the man who had slain him was none other than General Ma Dai, his supposed comrade.


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[Assistant] So, if you back up a couple episodes to when Zhuge Liang was lying on his deathbed, he was handing out instructions to a bunch of people. One of those people was Ma Dai.


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[Assistant] Now we didn't know at the time what he had told Ma Dai, but now we do. The message in the silk pouch told Yang Yi that Ma Dai was a plant, so Yang Yi carried out the scheme as instructed. And sure enough, Zhu Ge Liang had just reached from beyond the grave to take Wei Yan with him.


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[Assistant] Now, I should pause here and point out that Wei Yan is a character who may have gotten a bit of a raw deal with his treatment in the novel.


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[Assistant] It was planted way back in the novel that he was always a traitor at heart, a fact that Zhu Ge Liang saw from the beginning.


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[Assistant] Suffice it to say, real history was a little more complicated. I'll do a short supplemental episode on that at some point.


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[Assistant] But for now, let's move on to the aftermath. So in the last episode, the Shu Emperor has sent a court official to go pretend to make peace between Wei Yan and Yang Yi, so as to lull Wei Yan into complacency.


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[Assistant] But by the time this guy arrived in the city of Nanzheng, Wei Yan was already dead, and the Xu army had been made whole once more.


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[Assistant] Yang Yi now sent an urgent dispatch to the Emperor, telling him what happened. The Emperor Liu Shan decreed that


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[Assistant] Because of the service that Wei Yan had rendered to the state, he would receive a funeral.


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[Assistant] Yang Yi and company now return to the capital Chengdu with Zhuge Liang's coffin.


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[Assistant] Liu Shan and all the court officials donned mourning clothes and went seven miles outside the city to receive the coffin. Liu Shan wailed out loud and everyone else, from the highest ministers to the lowliest peasants, also did the same.


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[Assistant] Their wails were so loud that they shook the ground. Liu Shan now ordered that the coffin be brought into the city and put in state at Zhu Ge Liang's residence, where Zhu Ge Liang's son kept watch.


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[Assistant] When Liu Shan returned to court, Yang Yi came to see him. Yang Yi had himself bound and asked to be punished for his offense.


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[Assistant] Of course, this was all just an act, since quite the opposite, Liu Shan was going to reward him for putting down Wei Yan's little uprising and getting the army back home in one piece.


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[Assistant] Before his good work carrying out the instructions that Zhuge Liang had left him, Yang Yi was promoted to Director General of the Center. Ma Dai, for killing Wei Yan while his back was turned, got to assume Wei Yan's former position.


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[Assistant] Next, Yang Yi offered up Zhuge Liang's final memorial to the emperor, and its words reduced Liu Shan to tears and more loud wailing.


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[Assistant] Liu Shan now ordered a plot of land to be chosen for Zhu Ge Liang's final resting place.


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[Assistant] But, the senior official Fei Yi said, Before he died, His Excellency left instructions that he was to be buried on Dingjun Mountain. He also said that we must not waste bricks or stones to construct his grave, and that there should be no sacrificial items.


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[Assistant] Liu Shan honored those last wishes. In the 10th month of the year 234, Liu Shan personally escorted Zhu Ge Liang's coffin to Ding Jun Mountain for burial.


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[Assistant] Liu Shan decreed that Zhuge Liang was to be posthumously named the Marquis of Zhongwu, or translated as the loyal and martial Marquis. A temple in his honor was to be constructed at Mianyang and constantly kept furnished with sacrifices.


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[Assistant] And of course, we can't say farewell to Zhu Ge Liang without a couple more poems. For this occasion, we have two from the Great Tang Dynasty poet Du Fu, who has just made a career out of serenading Zhu Ge Liang. The first poem goes,


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[Assistant] His excellency's shrine, where would it be found? Outside Chengdu's walls, where cypresses abound. Along the steps thereto, new grass do spring. Veiled by the leaves, the oreos do sing. Thrice to him Liu Bei came, keen to rule the realm.


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[Assistant] Juga's mighty name hangs proudly on the upper sphere. Stern and Grand, the royal liegeman's likeness claims respect.


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[Assistant] In the tripart world below, he spun deep schemes. In the age-old realm of cloud, one single plume unites our gaze.


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[Assistant] Who ranked his peers? Yi Yin and Jiang Ziya. In command, he was more sure than Xiao He or Cao Shen. But the stars had turned, he could not save the Han's reign. Toiling to the end, body broken, but will unbroken.


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[Assistant] After the funeral, Liu Shan returned to the capital, whereupon a nasty surprise awaited him. His officials informed him.


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[Assistant] A message has arrived from the border. The kingdom of Wu has sent the officer Quan Cong at the head of tens of thousands of troops and their garrison on the border with no indication of their intentions.


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[Assistant] We must send someone who is adept at oratory.


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[Assistant] And with that, one man stepped forth and volunteered. It was an advisor named Zhong Yu.


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[Assistant] So Liu Shan sent him on his way to the Wu capital. Upon paying his respects to the Wu Emperor Sun Quan, Zong Yu looked up and saw that the attendants were all wearing the color of morning.


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[Assistant] Sun Quan now put on an unhappy face and ask Zhong Yu.


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[Assistant] In my opinion, both your garrisoning of troops on our borders and our stationing of soldiers at Bai Di are perfectly reasonable measures given the circumstances. There is no need to inquire about either one.


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[Assistant] So a quick refresher here, Deng Zhi was the Xu envoy that Zhuge Liang had sent to make peace with Dongwu after Liu Bei's death.


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[Assistant] He greatly impressed Sun Quan and convinced Sun Quan to ally with Xu instead of Wei. So Sun Quan was heaping praise on Zhong Yu with that comparison. Sun Quan now told Zhong Yu,


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[Assistant] Ever since I heard about Prime Minister Zhuge's passing, I have been weeping, every day, and order my officials to go into mourning.


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[Assistant] I was worried that the Kingdom of Wei would use this opportunity to invade Shu, so I stationed 10,000 men on our borders to provide aid. That was all.


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[Assistant] Zhong Yu bowed and expressed his gratitude for Sun Quan's, uhm, concern?


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[Assistant] In fact, to prove his sincerity, Sun Quan now took a go tip arrow and snapped it in two, pledging, If I go back on my former oath, may my family line go extinct.


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[Assistant] Sun Quan then sent an envoy to the river land with silk and incense and other ceremonial items to convey his sympathies. The envoy returned to the Shu capital Chengdu with Zongyu and told the Shu emperor Liu Shan.


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[Assistant] When the Lord of Wu heard about the Prime Minister's death, he too cried and went into mourning with all of his officials. He only stationed troops on the borders to guard against an invasion by way, nothing else. He has sworn on a broken arrow to never break our oath.


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[Assistant] Liu Shan was greatly delighted and relieved to hear this. He rewarded Zhong Yu handsomely, gave the Wu An boy a nice tip, and sent him on his way.


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[Assistant] Next, it was time to put his own court in order.


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[Assistant] Just as Zhuge Liang instructed on his deathbed, Liu Shan appointed Jiang Wan as prime minister, regent marshal, and director of the secretariat, making him the new most powerful minister at court. Fei Yi was named chief of the secretariat and executive to the prime minister.


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[Assistant] Wu Yi was appointed general of chariot and cavalry and given imperial authority over the region of Hanzhong.


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[Assistant] Jiang Wei was named the general who opposed the Han and the Marquis of Pingxiang.


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[Assistant] He was put in charge of the forces stationed throughout the kingdom and was ordered to take up position in Han Zhong to help Wu Yi defend against the Wei.


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[Assistant] All the other officers remain in their old posts.


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[Assistant] These new appointments did not sit well with Yang Yi. He figured that, being a veteran aide to Zhuge Liang and having rendered great service after Zhuge Liang's death, he was in line for a huge promotion.


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[Assistant] Now he did get a promotion, but it was not as huge as he had hoped for. And what's more, he watched as Jiang Wan, who had a shorter service record than he did, received the top post in court. So Yang Yi was rather disgruntled, and he grumbled about it to Fei Yi.


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[Assistant] To think, if I had taken the whole army and submitted to Wei after the Prime Minister's death, I would not have suffered such neglect.


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[Assistant] Well, Yang Yi grumbled to the wrong guy, Fei Yi promptly ratted him out to the Emperor, and Liu Shan was enraged. He had Yang Yi thrown into jail and interrogated, and was ready to execute him.


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[Assistant] Jiang Wan, however, advised that Yang Yi's life be spared on account of his former service, so Liu Shan consented, and Yang Yi was stripped of his rank and sent into exile.


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[Assistant] In the end though, Yang Yi was so ashamed of his own words that he slit his own throat. C'est la vie.


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[Assistant] The event that really set us on the course to where we are now.


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[Assistant] All the principal characters who dominated the novel thus far have now passed from the stage. But guess what? We still have a good 45 years left in the era of the Three Kingdoms.


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[Assistant] Alas, we do not have another 135 episodes left in this podcast. The rest of the novel really becomes compressed.


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[Assistant] And as you can imagine, we are going to see a host of new characters come and go.


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[Assistant] So just be warned that you'll be wrestling with some new names in the episodes to come.


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[Assistant] The year 235 was one of those rare years during this era when there was not a war going on somewhere in the Empire.


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[Assistant] None of the three kingdoms was engaged in military action. So let's go over to the Kingdom of Wei to see what they are doing with so much peace breaking out.


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[Assistant] The Wei Emperor Cao Rui had appointed Sima Yi as Grand Commandant and put him in charge of the army and tasked him with ensuring peace along the borders. Sima Yi returned to the capital Luoyang to take up his post.


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[Assistant] As for Cao Rui, now that there was finally peace on the borders, he decided to treat himself to a couple fancy new palaces, one in Luoyang and the other in the former capital city of Xuchang.


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[Assistant] These palaces, by all accounts, were gorgeous, magnificent works of architecture, exuding elegance and beauty.


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[Assistant] But such glorious creations did not come cheap or easily.


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[Assistant] To build these palaces, Cao Rui conscripted more than 30,000 craftsmen from his kingdom, as well as another 30-some thousand laborers. These conscripts were put to work day and night. So the citizenry was being worked to exhaustion, and they complained about it incessantly.


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[Assistant] Now, you figure that maybe, with his popularity tanking, and his people grumbling loudly, Cao Rui would ease off on the construction project, but no.


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[Assistant] Instead, he next decree that he was going to build something called the Fragrant Forest Park. To help build this garden, even the court officials were obliged to help carry soil and plant trees.


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[Assistant] Well, that was the final straw for one court official, and he wrote a memorial to Cao Rui. It said,


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[Assistant] The wars of recent years have broken some families and extinguished others, leaving in their wake only orphans, the elderly, and the feeble.


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[Assistant] Even if your majesty had deemed the imperial quarters too confining and wanted to enlarge them, it still would have been appropriate to schedule the work to avoid interfering with agriculture. It is all the more so for work on unnecessary construction.


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[Assistant] Your majesty has honored your couriers by distinguishing them with splendid headgear, clothing them in finery, transporting them in elegant carriages, all to separate them from those of no consequence. Yet today,


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[Assistant] These same courtiers have been put to work lugging wood and earth until their bodies are drenched and their feet soiled. It detracts from the glory of the kingdom to give such importance to the irrelevant.


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[Assistant] The park is indefensible. As Confucius said, the Lord employs the vessel according to ritual formality.


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[Assistant] The vassal serves the lord with loyalty. How is the kingdom to stand with neither formality nor loyalty?


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[Assistant] Your servant knows full well that to speak thusly is to die.


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[Assistant] Writing brush in hand, I let tears flow, in my heart bidding farewell to this world. My eight sons might become a burden to your majesty after my death.


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[Assistant] Incredibly though, this guy did not get the death that he was expecting. Of course, Cao Rui was totally ticked off when he read the memorial, and his attendants suggested that he should in fact execute this guy, but Cao Rui said no.


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[Assistant] He has always been loyal and honorable. I will just strip him of his rank. But, if anyone else dares to oppose my plans, they will be executed.


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[Assistant] Well, it turns out that somebody else had a death wish. A member of the crown prince's entourage had also seen enough. I mean, all this getting down in the mud with the peasants was so undignified for the one percenters, you know? So he wrote a memorial to Cao Rui as well.


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[Assistant] Well, this time, Cao Rui did not hesitate to call for the executioners.


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[Assistant] Now that he had made an example of somebody and silenced dissent, Cao Rui summoned a court official named Ma Jun and asked him.


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[Assistant] I wish to build a tall terrace so that I may commune with immortal beings and ask them for the secret of eternal life and youth.


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[Assistant] So, if your boss came to you and said, tell me how to find a way to live forever, what are you gonna say? Now, keep in mind that this boss had just literally asked somebody who told him his plan was nuts. So yeaah, choose your words carefully. Here's what Ma Jun told Cao Rui.


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[Assistant] Of the 24 emperors of the Han dynasty, the emperor Wu enjoyed the longest reign and the longest lifespan.


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[Assistant] His longevity was no doubt due to his having consumed the essence of the sun and the aura of the moon.


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[Assistant] In the palace in the city of Chang'an, he built the Cypress Beam Terrace. On that terrace, they erected a bronze statue.


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[Assistant] The statue held a bowl with both hands. It was called the bowl for receiving dew. It caught the congealed mist called heaven's ambrosia or the sweet dew, which fell from the northern dipper in the middle of the night.


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[Assistant] Well, Cao Rui evidently believed this. In fact, he was delighted.


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[Assistant] So he immediately dispatched Ma Jun with 10,000 men to go to Chang'an. Their job?


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[Assistant] Move that bronze statue into this new park that Cao Rui was building.


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[Assistant] So yeah, Ma Jun just got put in charge of his own cockamamie idea.


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[Assistant] So, Ma Jun and his 10,000 men arrived at the terrace in Chang'an, and they started building a scaffolding so that they could climb to the top of that terrace. The terrace was a good 15 feet tall, and the bronze column on top of it was 10 arms length round.


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[Assistant] First, Ma Jun ordered his men to take down the bronze statue. It took a bunch of guys, but they did manage to remove the statue from the top of the column.


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[Assistant] But, when they brought the statue down, they were astonished to see tears in its eyes.


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[Assistant] Just as they were getting freaked out, a sudden violent gale kicked up, sweeping up a hailstorm of sand and pebbles. That was followed by a deafening roar, which sounded like the heavens collapsing or the earth opening up.


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[Assistant] In that moment, the terrace collapsed and the column fell over, killing more than a thousand men.


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[Assistant] Shrug. Plenty more where those came from. The more important thing was that Ma Jun now had the golden bowl in his possession.


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[Assistant] You figured Cao Rui would at least give them a pat on the back, but instead his first question was, where's the bronze column? Ma Jun replied,


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[Assistant] That column weighs a million pounds. We can't move it.


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[Assistant] Cao Rui was like, come on man, I pay you to think outside the box. So here's what you do. Go break that column into a million pieces and bring those million pieces back to the capital. Okay, so that was done.


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[Assistant] But what was he going to do with a million little pieces of bronze column?


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[Assistant] Well, Cao Rui had the pieces all melted down and recast into two bronze human statues, a bronze dragon and a bronze phoenix. The human statues were placed outside the gates of a mansion. The dragon and phoenix were placed in front of the court.


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[Assistant] He then proceeded to fill his park with exotic fauna of plants and animals, sparing no expenses.


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[Assistant] Alas, Cao Rui ignored this advice and continued with his building projects. He had a tall terrace constructed, and on it, he placed a bronze statue and golden bowl that he had sharked from Chang'an.


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[Assistant] But that's not the end of it. Now that the happiest place on Earth has been constructed, Cao Rui decreed that it must be filled with beautiful women.


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[Assistant] But, Cao Rui just put his fingers in his ears and went la la la la la la la.


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[Assistant] At the same time he was making a mess of things on the public front, Cao Rui was also making a mess of things on the home front.


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[Assistant] At this time, he had an Empress, one Empress Mao.


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[Assistant] Before Cao Rui became emperor, they were a very loving couple. So after Cao Rui ascended to the throne, he named her his empress. But after a while, Cao Rui's eyes began straying in the direction of another woman, a Lady Guo.


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[Assistant] And of course, this was perfectly fine by the standards of the times, since every Chinese emperor was expected to have a concubine or two or fifty.


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[Assistant] This Lady Guo was both beautiful and intelligent, and Cao Rui adored her and spent every day enjoying her company. In fact, he enjoyed her company so much that he did not set foot outside her palace for more than a month.


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[Assistant] Then, one spring day, all the flowers in the garden were blooming.


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[Assistant] So Cao Rui and Lady Guo decided to move their party to the garden.


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[Assistant] While they were drinking and making merry, Lady Guo suggested, Why don't we ask the Empress to join us? But Cao Rui scoffed.


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[Assistant] Hmph. If she is around, I couldn't enjoy a single drop of wine.


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[Assistant] So Cao Rui ordered all the palace servant girls that they were not to tell the Empress a word about this.


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[Assistant] As luck would have it, Empress Mao was actually nearby. She had been bored out of her mind since Cao Rui hadn't bothered to visit her in more than a month.


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[Assistant] So that day, she and about a dozen attendants took an outing to a terrace near the garden.


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[Assistant] While there, they heard the sound of music wafting through the air. When she asked where that music was coming from, one of her maids said,


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[Assistant] His Majesty and Lady Guo are drinking and enjoying the flowers in the garden.


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[Assistant] Well, that put a damper on the outing for Empress Ma, and she quickly returned to her own palace.


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[Assistant] The next day, she went out again in a small carriage in search of more amusement.


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[Assistant] She ran into Cao Rui in a winding corridor.


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[Assistant] Your highness must have had lots of fun yesterday at the north garden, she said to Cao Rui with a smile.


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[Assistant] But that smile was met with an angry countenance. Cao Rui was not amused in the least that somebody had defied his orders and told the Empress what he was doing. There was going to be hell to pay. To find out what kind of hell that would be, tune in.


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[Assistant] To the next episode of the Romance of the Three Kingdoms podcast. Thanks for listening.


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[Assistant] Welcome to the Romance of the Three Kingdoms podcast. This is episode 132.


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[Assistant] Last time, Zhuge Liang invented the wheelbarrow, except he called his creations wooden oxens and gliding horses, and he used them to move grain.


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[Assistant] But it did not take long for Si Ma Yi to catch on, and he decided to do some corporate espionage.


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[Assistant] He sent some troops to ambush one of Zhuge Liang's convoys and steal some of these contraptions. He then had his own craftsmen take them apart and reverse-engineer them, thus flooding the wheelbarrow market with a bunch of made-in-China knockoffs, and then he began using them to transport his own grain.


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[Assistant] While Sima Yi was busy assimilating foreign technology, the Xu general whose convoy was ambushed ran back to camp to tell Zhuge Liang what happened. But far from being angry, Zhuge Liang was delighted.


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[Assistant] I was hoping that he would steal them, he said with a smile. I may have lost a few wooden oxens and gliding horses.


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[Assistant] But that's just how Zhuge Liang preferred it. He now told the General Wang Ping to take a thousand men disguised as the enemy and sneak over to the northern plain under the cover of darkness.


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[Assistant] Once there, they were to travel to the enemy's supply route under the guise of a convoy, and then they were supposed to attack a real convoy and take their wooden oxens and gliding horses, and then head back across the northern plain.


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[Assistant] Now, of course, when the Wei forces find out about this, they are more than likely to give chase, since it's not like these wheelbarrows could just fly down the road. They only go 6 or 7 miles a day, remember?


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[Assistant] Then, Zhu Ge Liang handed out instructions to seven other officers, and they all snapped too.


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[Assistant] So the next day, over on the Northern Plain, a Wei convoy was just minding its own business when word came from the men in the front that they had encountered another convoy.


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[Assistant] And they reported back that it was indeed their own men.


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[Assistant] So the commanding officer dropped his guard and proceeded to merge his convoy with the one up ahead. But suddenly, a loud cry rang out, and within his own ranks, a slaughter broke out, accompanied by the loud shout, The Shu General Wang Ping is here!


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[Assistant] The real Wei soldiers were caught off guard and most of them were cut down, including their commanding officer. While the rest scattered, Wang Ping and his men seized the wooden oxens and gliding horses and turned them toward the Shu camp.


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[Assistant] While Wang Ping and company were ambling along in the world's slowest getaway, the remnants of the Wei convoy ran to their camp on the Northern Plain, where they told General Guo Huai what happened.


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[Assistant] Guo Huai immediately mobilized his troops to go take back their supplies. Wang Ping saw them approaching in the distance, and he and his men promptly abandoned their new prize, but not before they reached into the mouths of these wooden oxens and gliding horses and gave their tongues a twist.


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[Assistant] Moments later, Guo Huai and his men arrived on the scene. The Shu soldiers were already running, and Guo Huai gave a little perfunctory pursuit to make sure that they stayed gone. He then told his men to bring the wooden oxens and gliding horses back to camp. But uhm, we have a problem.


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[Assistant] These things won't move anymore. They were just sitting on the road where they were abandoned, and no matter how much the way soldiers tried to coax them along, the contraptions refused to budge.


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[Assistant] Just as a stumped Guo Huai was scratching his head, the sound of drums and horns suddenly shook the sky, and loud cries rose up as two squadrons of Shu forces arrived. They were led by the generals Wei Yan and Jiang Wei. At the same time, the army led by Wang Ping turned around to join the attack.


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[Assistant] This three-prong assault sent Guo Huai scurrying. So now the wheelbarrows belong to Xu once again.


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[Assistant] Wang Ping told his men to now give the tongues of the contraptions another twist, and what do you know, they started moving again, and the Shu forces slowly set off again for home base.


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[Assistant] So yea, Zhuge Liang built a secret handbrake into these things, and Sima Yi's craftsmen did just a bit too good a job copying the design, plank for plank.


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[Assistant] Seeing the wooden oxens and gliding horses on the move once again, Guo Huai was just about to lead his troops in another pursuit when suddenly, they spotted smoke rising up from behind the hill. Momentarily, a group of about 500 showed up, and these guys looked like soldiers from heaven above.


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[Assistant] Each of them held a flag in one hand and a sword in the other. They seemed to have the heads of demons and the bodies of wild animals and their faces were an array of colors. This group of cosplayers now escorted the wheelbarrows and they cruised off into the distance.


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[Assistant] They must have help from the gods, a stunt Guo Huai said.


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[Assistant] And of course, telling your troops that the enemy has divine assistance is not exactly a morale booster, and the waste soldiers now lost all desire of giving chase.


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[Assistant] But of course, this was just another of Zhuge Liang's tricks. He had the General Zhang Yi and 500 men dress up like soldiers from heaven, with the express intent to spook any Wei forces trying to chase down this convoy.


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[Assistant] Meanwhile, Sima Yi had heard about the attack on the convoy and Guo Huai's defeat, so he personally led a relief force to come help.


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[Assistant] But along the way, they were greeted by the sound of an explosive and two detachments of Shu soldiers charged out from hiding, their cries making the earth tremble. These troops were led by the Generals Zhang Yi and Liao Hua, who had been waiting for Sima Yi on Zhuge Liang's orders.


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[Assistant] Sima Yi's men were thrown into chaos and scattered. Sima Yi himself fled into some woods with Liao Hua hot on his tail.


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[Assistant] Soon, Liao Hua hit close to within striking distance. At that very moment, Si Ma Yi made a sharp turn around the tree just as Liao Hua's saber came crashing down. The saber ended up lodged in the trunk of the tree instead of Si Ma Yi's neck.


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[Assistant] And by the time Liao Hua managed to dislodge it, Si Ma Yi had already fled out of the woods.


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[Assistant] Diao Hua now resumed his chase, but he saw no sign of his prey. He did spot a golden helmet lying on the ground to the east of the woods. He grabbed the helmet and continued eastward.


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[Assistant] But oh, that tricky Si Ma Yi had pulled one over on him. Si Ma Yi had thrown his helmet to the east of the woods while he himself rode west. The misdirection play worked and Liao Hua came up empty.


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[Assistant] After traveling eastward for a while without any sign of Si Ma Yi, Liao Hua turned around and returned to camp with his comrades.


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[Assistant] By now, the Shu forces had already escorted the captured wooden oxens and gliding horses back to camp. This haul got them quite a bit of grain. Liao Hua then presented Sima Yi's helmet, which earned him top merit for the day. So everybody was happy, right?


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[Assistant] Well, not quite. Apparently, Wei Yan was rather butt-hurt over Liao Hua getting top merit, and he grumbled about it. Word of this got back to Zhu Ge Liang, who just pretended that he didn't hear anything. Is this foreshadowing? Oh, you bet.


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[Assistant] Meanwhile, Sima Yi managed to escape back to his camp, and he was brooding over getting played so thoroughly by Zhuge Liang once again.


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[Assistant] Suddenly, an envoy from his emperor arrived, informing him that the kingdom of Dongwu had launched a three-pronged invasion on Wei.


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[Assistant] But that the emperor was on it and that Sima Yi's orders were to stay on the defensive and not give battle. So Sima Yi fortified his defenses and refused to go out.


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[Assistant] So now, let's jump over to the other side of the empire, and check in on that invasion by Dongwu.


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[Assistant] The Wei Emperor Cao Rui mobilized three forces to meet the three-pronged attack.


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[Assistant] He personally led one of the forces with the veteran official Man Cheng.


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[Assistant] To go relieve the siege on the key city of Hefei.


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[Assistant] Man Chong led the vanguard to the mouth of Lake Chao, where he saw countless enemy warships and banners on the eastern shore. He went to see Cao Rui and said,


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[Assistant] The Wu forces will not be on guard because they figure that we are fatigued from our long journey. We should raid their naval camp tonight. Victory would be assured.


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[Assistant] Cao Rui agreed, so that night, two detachments of Wei forces, numbering 5,000 men each, set out, with one attacking from the mouth of the lake and the other attacking along the eastern shore.


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[Assistant] Around 9 o'clock that night, they converged on the Dongwu naval camp and crashed into the enemy's ranks. The Dongwu forces were indeed unprepared, and they fled without a fight.


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[Assistant] The Wei forces now set the whole place on fire, reducing countless warships, grains and weapons to ashes. The commander of the Dongwu forces, Zhu Gejin, was forced to flee with his men.


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[Assistant] The next day, word of this defeat reached the Dongwu's supreme commander Lu Xun. He told his officers,


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[Assistant] I will write a letter to our lord to request that he call off the siege on another city to come cut off the enemy's path of retreat. I will then attack them from the front so that they would be under siege on both ends and can thus be defeated in one fell swoop.


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[Assistant] Everybody thought that this was a good idea, so Lu Xun wrote a memorial to Sun Quan and dispatched a soldier to deliver it.


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[Assistant] Alas, that courier got caught by the enemy's pickets, and they brought him to see the Wei Emperor Cao Rui. After reading the letter that the courier was carrying, Cao Rui was rather impressed.


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[Assistant] But that insight was not going to do Lu Xun much good now. Cao Rui had the courier locked up, and then told his troops to be on guard against enemy forces, trying to sneak around to their rear. So, so much for that plan.


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[Assistant] Meanwhile, Zhu Gejin, the leader of the newly defeated Dongwu army, had problems. Not only was he still licking his wounds from his defeat, many of his soldiers were also stricken by pestilence at mid-summer heat.


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[Assistant] So Zhu Gejin sent a letter to Lu Xun suggesting that


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[Assistant] Maybe they should just call off this invasion and go home. When Lu Xun read the letter though, he told the messenger.


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[Assistant] Please tell your commander that I already have a plan.


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[Assistant] When Zhu Ge Jin asked the messenger what Lu Xun was up to, the messenger said


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[Assistant] I just saw Commander Liu ordering everyone to plant beans outside the camp, while he and the officers were passing their time with target practice.


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[Assistant] But if your intent is to retreat, then we should do so quickly. Why drag it out?


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[Assistant] You should deploy your ships to look like you are preparing for battle, while I advance some troops to deceive the enemy. Then, we can methodically fall back to the Southlands, and the enemy will not dare to chase us.


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[Assistant] So the Dongwu forces proceeded as Lu Xun described, making lots of noise about advancing on a key enemy city.


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[Assistant] When word of this reached the Wei camp, many of the Wei officers wanted to go fight them. But Cao Rui was wary of Lu Xun's reputation for cunning.


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[Assistant] So everybody just stayed put. A few days later, scouts reported that all the Dongwu forces had retreated.


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[Assistant] Cao Rui was skeptical and sent more men to check it out, but they came back and confirmed that report.


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[Assistant] Lu Xun is the equal of the great military strategist of old, Cao Rui said.


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[Assistant] It is not yet the right time to try to conquer the South.


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[Assistant] So instead, he left officers to oversee the defense of key locations, while he himself and the main army stayed at Hefei, just in case the situation changed.


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[Assistant] Meanwhile, back in the west, Zhu Ge Liang was making plans to settle in for a long-term stay at Qi Mountain.


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[Assistant] One of the things he did was to order his troops to share the farmlands with the local civilians.


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[Assistant] They divided the land into thirds. The soldiers tilled one third of the land while the civilians got the other two thirds, and they did not encroach on each other's share.


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[Assistant] Now, remember that these civilians were citizens of the Kingdom of Wei.


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[Assistant] So what Zhuge Liang was doing was basically getting them acclimated to a long-term occupation and convincing them that, hey, being ruled by the Kingdom of Shu wasn't so bad. I mean, aside from giving up a third of your land to their army, of course.


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[Assistant] But in any case, this was what benevolent rule looked like in this era, and this did not sit well with the wave forces.


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[Assistant] Sima Yi's eldest son Sima Shi now went to see his father and said,


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[Assistant] The enemy stole a lot of our provisions, and now they are tilling the land with our citizens. They are playing the long game. If this continues, it would be a grave concern for our kingdom.


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[Assistant] Father, why don't we challenge Zhuge Liang to one decisive battle to settle everything? But Sima Yi said


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[Assistant] While they were discussing this, word came that the Shu General Wei Yan was outside their camp, challenging for battle, parading Sima Yi's lost golden helmet as an insult.


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[Assistant] All of Sima Yi's officers were enraged by this and they wanted to go fight Wei Yan, but he just laughed it off.


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[Assistant] So everybody stayed put, and Wei Yan returned to camp unsatisfied after a long day of hurling insults.


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[Assistant] So Zhuge Liang now devised yet another scheme to lure Sima Yi out.


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[Assistant] He ordered General Ma Dai to oversee the construction of palisades and dig a deep moat within the camp inside Xiangfang Gorge where Ma Dai had been building the wheelbarrows. The moat was filled with lots of flammable material.


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[Assistant] On the surrounding hillside, they put up straw sheds and bunkers constructed as decoys, and around them, they buried lots of landmines.


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[Assistant] Once everything was in place, Zhuge Liang towed Ma Dai.


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[Assistant] Block off the back entrance of Xiang Fang Gorge and hide your troops inside the gorge. If Si Ma Yi comes your way, let him into the gorge and then set off the land mines and start a fire.


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[Assistant] Zhu Ge Liang then ordered his men to set up a signal at the entrance to the gorge. By day, the signal was a seven-star banner, and by night, it was seven lit lanterns.


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[Assistant] Once Ma Dai left to carry out his order, Zhuge Liang summoned Wei Yan and told him,


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[Assistant] Take 500 men to go challenge for battle at the Wei camp. You must lure Sima Yi out to fight. But when he does come fight, you must not win. Pretend to lose and flee, and Sima Yi will give chase.


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[Assistant] Just run toward the seven star banner by day and the seven lit lanterns by night. If you can lure Sima Yi into the gorge, I will be able to capture him.


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[Assistant] After Wei Yan left, Zhuge Liang told General Gao Xiang,


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[Assistant] Group our wooden oxens and gliding horses into packs of 30 or 40, load them with grains, and march them back and forth along the mountain paths. If the enemy comes and seizes them, then you will have succeeded.