[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I have seen Blazing Glorious. That's the whole thing. You said you hadn't watched it since, like, 10. Yeah, like 10 or 12.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, yeah, I don't know. We just really like that director or something. Uh, you know, I love Spaceballs and Young Frankenstein too.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know if that's fair really, but I mean, they live had a lot of like unintentionally funny too, where it's like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What are they, they're just like people watching each other for like 40 minutes in a row. Like it really had a way too slow of a build up to like the ending.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Big payoffs with like the 20 minute fight scene.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Five seconds later, they are the most committed to the cause I've ever seen. Like there's very little


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well once you- Segway and like, they're just like extreme to extreme. Yea. But it's also kind of- I mean, I like the movie. What happened in between the two?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But he was so like, I will, you're gonna have to kill me if you want me to put on these sunglasses, which is already like a weird hill to die on. Yeah. Granted, Roddy Piper is like a crazy person. So it's like, he did not do a good job.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah. But they're not people, okay? You gotta believe Roddy Piper.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Feels good. Uh, so basically you hated Blazing Saddles. I didn't fucking, I didn't hate it. It's just like. You hated it. I would never watch it again and it stunk. It's like a very 70s, like, it's ahead of its time too for like. Really? Because it seems so dated.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, well, I don't know. I'm not gonna sit here. It's not like my favorite movie ever, but I've got, you know, some love for it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I have seen Blazing Saddles, you know, I remember some big parts, like we, we reference them a lot, my family, not those parts, you know, like the other parts.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I just, I feel like I've been talking about, they came together for like five years. I just want, I just know you'll never watch it. So it's like, it's like a captive audience thing. Like I just want you to like, maybe get so high. You're like, whatever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You mean one hour from now? Yeah, one hour from now. Well, I literally was looking up, they, he was like, here, put on whatever. I typed they and he's like, oh, they live. Look, it's right there. Let's watch that. I'm like, you've never seen it. I've never seen it. There's a million movies I haven't seen. Like, you can just be like, oh, look.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This has nothing to do with what you're saying, but I just maybe remember like the funniest part of the movie to me is like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you don't know anything about the movie, like puts on these sunglasses and you can see the real world and like the propaganda there, you know, like what, aliens or like, it's not even explained really.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In some stores, they're like half the people. Yeah. And then he's like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're ugly. You look different than other people when I wear these sunglasses. Don't try to find these. Got one that can see.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, he's, he's not subtle at all, which is kind of awesome because he's just like a drifter dude. That's just kind of like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I can see why he's not married. I can see why he doesn't have kids and that. Uh, but at one point, like the funniest part to me is like, they're showing all these subliminal messages and it's like, obey, like, breed and reproduce. And then one of them just says sleep eight hours. Like, what do they do? Like, is that too much? Is that too little? Like, they don't really...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause then they mention later like, they want you to sleep. They want you to be asleep all the time. Like, isn't eight hours like a normal amount?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's just all, the world's black and white when you put them on too, which it's like, right away it's like a matrix problem.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, I'm not saying I'd be like a villain in this world.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But if I were Roddy Piper, I would have snapped those glasses immediately and just been like, what can I do? Granted,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's literally one satellite pumping out, I guess, the whole world's amount of pod people signal and he does destroy it pretty easily. You know, and he shoots it at the end. I think, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like I guess it wouldn't be that hard to save the world if you knew it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I thought that was from like Duke Nukem or something. I think Duke Nukem got it from...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He fucking shoots a signal with a gun. A girl shoots Keith David at some point, like out of nowhere. And she's a traitor. Off screen. And then she gets shot in an awesome way cause she's like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Flowergram for Mongo. Yeaah. Yeaah. I mean, it's definitely not as funny as when I was 10.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But also, why can't I think of that? Who's the director of that? Why can't I remember? Yeah, Mel Brooks.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sam gave me the option of that. Three Amigos or Young Frankenstein, which I've seen all of them, but he won't let me watch. They came together and, um, it's gonna.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's gonna be like the worst thing ever because I've like hyped it up for years and you're gonna watch it and be like, this is worse than Blazing Saddles. It's, uh, definitely like that parody humor, so whatever. I might just not show them. Uh, just complain until it kinda goes away.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, oh yeah, I fucked up so big the first night because I didn't, they were like putting the kids to bed with books.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I felt very scared when I got here cause, you know, all of a sudden your family became very real. I'm like, oh, this is like, okay, I'm like around little kids and stuff. Like I have to.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I didn't even know how to talk to them at first because they were all bashful and shy. I'm just like, what's up? What do you guys like to do?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then so I was pretty shocked at night when they're like, come on, you can come read iSpy with us. I'm like, oh, it's just like a charity invite. Turns out like I really fucked up because they were like, where


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I like iSpy too, so like, I was a little upset.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sure, I'll go piss while Brian talks. Okay. And I'll take a beer.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah. Prime Mike Tyson shows up for like one round, just kills- Kills him. Jake Paul, Logan, whichever. Tears his ear off.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's no point even bringing this up because I don't remember any of it, but I was gonna say, like, I remember I've talked about this before, but when I was in high school I worked a really boring, like, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Pull slide job where it's a go, go, you know, one of those fuckers.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And the place sucks so bad, like people really didn't go there. So you're able to, you weren't able to be on your phone, but you're able to read books and they had like five books for you to read.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I read a massive Mike Tyson autobiography that I'm pretty sure his wife wrote or something.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then a Ronda Rousey autobiography. Weirdly sad lives on both of them, you know, but the Mike Tyson one was, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know. Yeah, he deserves a win. I think so. I think so. You think he's gonna be on shrooms?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, uh, we talked about this yesterday. I mean, we probably talked about it so extensively about how scary that was on the hiking trip when you were out of your...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, that was awesome though. I mean, that was uh, it was awful, but it was also ultimately awesome. Yeah. Okay. I also had that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's really sweet. Yeah. It is weird seeing you as like, I don't want to dissolve any, you know, status you've built up on the internet, but, uh, just like a normal family guy, uh, type. Oh, when we go, uh, yeah, yeah, he's like a Chris. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When the sun goes down, she's nowhere to be seen. Yeah, it's creepy. It's really creepy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it's really, it's really weird to see.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Beautiful location. You can see right out the window. You can see blank. Uh, it's cool. The Capitol building.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't even really know what soot house is, but I remember he came in the discord a couple times. I think after he'd been on the podcast, I played like some game, like a big group of people.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I need to shape up and be like more professional. Uh huh, go on. Go on. I'd like to talk with a colleague, go on.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, it makes it, they roll in big circles.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You'd have to probably ask him to know exactly.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, I think. Have you seen Wallace and Gromit? How big of a cheese bite they can take? Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Imagine you're doing your thing on her and she's like, just tell me, just tell me. You know, it's got to chase. Yeah. Yeah, that is interesting, kind of. That's like the worst.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It would take about half a second after I was like, ow, and a person's still biting for me to be like, holy fuck, like, something's not right here, you know, this is not good. Uh, yeah, I guess I get your point a little. Don't talk to powerful women.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I just feel like when you're that big, like it's so easy to just fucking bounce back. Like I see so many people where like months ago on Twitter, everyone's helping arms and then they just wait and do like a light rebrand, one apology. Most of the time they're back. That big of an audience.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, he's built his brand. Wilbur, have you seen his apology? No.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know, it seems really easy. For someone that's like, ouch.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know, it's, it's, but also you shouldn't live with like such fear of like, everyone's crazy. But, uh, keep your walls up, stay guarded, because you never know when, when they're going to turn. People are going to turn eventually and you don't know when. Uh, I don't know. Yeah, I mean, I've had those thoughts every night here, like what if, what if


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, we did well. Yeah, we cooked. We fucking cooked. I like them the more I look at them, honestly. No detail missed. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Type of humor, absolutely, like, the original movie's alright, the show, really funny.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They did a good job replicating it. And Michael Shannon cameo is probably the most expensive. Him just running with a katana is like the funniest thing to me every time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That age is gonna keep, you know, that record will keep being broken.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Put on your penis like cybernetics and stuff or pills or whatever. Gel over it or like condoms.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They jerk each other off and finger bang, or like what do they even do? Like they actually, cause you always hear like it at retirement homes, like yeah they have a lot of sex. It can't be good. What sex?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Anytime someone like at TwitchCon and people are like, send your badge. I just write it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I haven't heard shit about that. He was like, Omid, you can add some too. And he was like, Jesus Christ, his hands were so shaky. He's like, there's so much pressure. Devin wouldn't even do it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it was awful. I kind of want to send the picture in just to see what it looked like, just to remember how bad it was.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's so, there's four fucking little pieces that I have to go in.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This rocks, and it will go well next to the Gandalf the Brown.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like the Gandalf hot toy you got me, they got shit water all over it for my friend.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You can't see over video the feel. Feel is so important.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And Destiny 1 was like the most hyped up I got for a game in so long up to that point. Like it really felt like the future. And...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I bought the like expensive version, like first time I had done that on a game, like special edition from GameStop.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And not only did the game suck, but when I bought it, like my internet was so shitty and the Xbox was so bad. It took me like 14 hours to download the game, even with the disc. And that was one of the first times I'd like run into that. So, you know, on like 360, you just pop it in and play.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A ridiculous amount of time when you're like a little kid and you have school the next day and you're like excited to play.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I don't know if I've ever been more hurt by a game, like, just personally, like, this fucking sucks. You didn't end up liking it afterwards? I had, like, I don't know, like, two weeks of fun.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The way it was hyped up and all this shit about like, this game's gonna last for 10 years, like we're gonna be pumping out updates.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Still get really hyped up for games and let down so often, but also it's, you know, it's good to look forward to things.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Two Worlds 2 was like probably my earliest game where I remember I went in, bought it. I was like, I like the first, have you ever played Two Worlds?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] At the time I was like, this kind of looks like Oblivion. It was pretty fun, honestly, the first one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It probably sucks in hindsight, but I had a lot of fun.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And when the second one came out, it's just one of those, like, you got a game stop and you're like, oh shit, this is on the shelf. And I bought it new and I couldn't.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean at that time I was probably like 13 or something, like I was past the age where I should be able to play games, you know, well.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know what it was, but I just, I could not beat the tutorial.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was like, this is the worst game I ever played. And I tried to take it back and gotten, it's when I found out too about GameStop's policy where they're like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You can't return a new game for a full refund. You can only return a used game.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I was like, well, it's used now. And they're like, that's not how it works. I don't know if you've ever dealt with that. It's a goddamn nightmare.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] GameStop employees have some sort of, like, complex.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] God, I don't know why TSA people are always dicks.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's just like the shittiest place to work. I can get free flights. I don't go anywhere. I fucking hate the world. Yeah, uh, I'm gonna shit talk TSA more as I get on that list quicker. I fucking hate the world.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That was cool. There's like a specific GameStop employee.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] From kinda near where I lived that I'd like almost have felt personal where I'd go in there when I was a little kid and I'd make my grandma take me and I'd be like, I want GTA and you know, they do the classic like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, well, are you sure it's got mature? But this guy would be like, really? Like, you're gonna let him play this game? It's got nudity, graphic violence, and my grandma's like, so, not into any of that stuff, but my dad's like, I don't care, like, go buy it for him.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And the guy, it's like he's fighting not to get a sale every time. I don't know, they probably don't get commission or anything.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Talking about my dad's like, dude, I don't give a shit. Like I'm going to be playing this game too.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I found out later, like my mom went to high school with him. I mean, unrelated, like he's no way was like, that's, that girl's, but he was just like the worst guy ever in high school.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And now he's become like a- Wait, the game stopped him from playing? Yea, now he's become like a generational curse on my family where like-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's awful to my mom in high school. He keeps me from buying GTA. How old is this guy? I mean he was probably like 35 when I was going in there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wait, what's, what Call of Duty is this picture? I don't remember. I don't remember the question, like, that wasn't as big of a deal as getting it right with my friends there, you know, and they were like, you're the smartest guy ever, like, you're probably the


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think it was like a really basic question, I just like, blurted it out first. Ghost, Ramirez.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know. My favorite one may be Castaway maybe.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think I saw something like titled that and I was like, I don't want to, I don't want to know anymore. Well, let me tell you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He sat around and did nothing. He didn't do any of that. That's the ultimate con. He's the perfect con man. I'm now glad I heard that because that puts him up even higher in my eyes. It's like a lazy man's con man. It's the long game too. It's a long con man.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Down into the abyss. I can't get a beautiful, like, hanging death. I want my body as a trophy. I can see that movie in forever either. I remember Deuce and Matt, Root Canal, of course. Wilson, who could forget him, such a lovable...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And she has kids. With the other person? Yeaah. Did she have kids with Tom Hanks? No. They were at the beginning of it. Yea, I mean that's awful, but. Yea. It's also like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Probably stupid dumb bitch and when he was gone she was like, now's my chance.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, wait, yeah, who the hell am I? Yeah, he did die a while ago.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know, or like they just play different types of dudes. Maybe I'm thinking the wrong thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, being typecast is like, gross little man, it's gotta be tough. I mean, typecasting's real. Like, you get caught in that. You know, they're not making, they're not making that guy like, lead and rob com. Some people


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Have you ever seen the, uh, Jay and Silent Bob movie where they do the, uh, goodwill hunting too?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I don't know if like they'd hold up now if I watched them, but.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The timing basically. You think they would hold up as well as blazing saddles? No, no, blazing saddles is kind of a timeless click.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh my god, what the hell. I'm soaking it all in. Yeah, that's fair. That's fair. It's like the opposite of riff tracks or something where no commentary. Anytime. I'm just watching it, man. That's fair. That's fair. I appreciate you soaking it. Cause it is the worst too when you're like, I know earlier you said you hate


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Showing, like you hate when people show us on a movie and you're like, ooh, this is a good part coming up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] On the inverse, it's so bad when you know a good part's coming up and someone like turns and starts talking to you and they're like, oh, hey, by the way, like tomorrow, do you think we should? And you like know the, like one of the big laughs of the movie's coming up. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And you're like, eh, like you don't want to be rude, but also it's like, if you don't fucking watch this part of the movie, I have to make some weird reason to be like, let's rewind a little bit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I get that, yeaah, it's, it's like, it's a bit in the face.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Next time I'll be like, hey, uh, one time was pretty funny, but why don't you try mixing it up a little bit with the material. I'm just trying to give you some notes, I'm not trying to be a dick.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But you're, you're kind of losing me on the repeated part. Unless you do it so many times it comes back to being funny. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think that's like a common thing with like little kids.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Muscle suit on, rip off. Uh, now I think kids, I mean also like how many new people come over here? Like they're probably just- I got a friend. Okay, well I believe you. I believe you. I got one or two. I'm just saying though, you know. Abby's got like huge circle of friends. Like little kids, like you just bring someone new in, I feel like they're-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I got pretty lucky I got a TV in my room pretty young and...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was incredibly jealous, like my step-sister got a phone pretty early because her dad is like, I don't even know the guy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He, I think he was doing a little bit of like, I'm bad dad, like here's a phone, here's a laptop. But she was younger than me and like, she got a phone before me and it, it drove me fucking crazy in that house cause she had like first gen iPhone or something.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, I didn't even hit like T-Mobile or what were those called? Paytalk? That was like my first phone was one of those. I just had a like Facebook memory earlier when I looked at my phone about like, I'm out of texts. Like someone keeps sending me texts and you've made me run out of texts. Like if you need me, call me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] 14. I don't think I talked on the phone. But, uh, yeaah, that was, uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I hated her for that. You know, really bad. Really evil for that. And I finally got, I did get a cool, my first phone was like a slide up keyboard.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Was it a Motorola side? No, no. My older brother, Mom, had those cool Motorola flips. I just had those for badass. But it was a, I think it was a straight talk. It's like that, it's like in Walmart brand. And I remember I, at one point, had like a crush on a girl and I sent her


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Education game? I feel like I've talked about this. No, it's not an education game. It was like a cool RPG sideways game on. Yes, I have played it. Yeah. Is it kind of anime looking or something?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was really into that when that came out and I had like two accounts or something and like word got around some of my friends where they're like, yeah, he's like, you know, he's playing the game a lot. And the girl was like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Made a character and was like, uh, like, can you like level me up and gave me your login stuff?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I, in two tabs, like made our characters go to a place, oh god. And I was like, hey, like made her type like, hey. And then I think like very quickly I was just like, jeez.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, and she's like, long gun, man. Parents would be like, I don't... Okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I scorned my dad, like my parents didn't know anything about like internet, like cyber security or anything, but like in that area, you know, it's like very scary. Like I'm not going to give you my credit card for some weird online website. Like, which makes sense, you know, cause your kid's just like, ah, adventure quest, adventure quest. What the fuck is that?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And one time I, I don't even know how this works, like I don't even know how the scam, scam worked, but I went over to my friend Cash's house and we were playing Halo and then we're like, oh, like cheat codes are now a thing, like, you have a computer, we went on there, looked up Halo cheat codes, I probably mentioned this before too, and like found some website where it's like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, we got plenty, you know, we got a lot of Halo cheat codes. Not even a thing, ever. And it was like put in your phone number and I put my dad's phone number in and like signed up for something and


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was like, alright, we'll send you the cheat codes. I'm like, oh shit. Like, I don't have my dad's phone, like I'm at my friend's house. And just never brought it up again. Like a year later, like my dad was being charged monthly, somehow, for like something I signed him up for.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] During like a bad time for him financially and he's like, god damn it, you know, like really angry about it. And ever like after that point, it was like, don't go on that fucking computer. You're going to do some weird.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is, uh, back to the, like, cyber security thing a little. Also, well, I want to say, like, stop me if you've heard this story before, but that's a problem with us. It's like, you're not going to remember even if I've told it. And I don't remember if I've told it. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think I signed some NDA. No, no, no, no.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then there were some interns that were like smart enough and good enough that they got assigned to like actually like one of my friends got assigned to like a


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't remember signing anything like that, but this is also my first experience ever in corporate America. So yeaah. They had me sign a lot of shit. You know, I was just like, John Hancock, John Hancock. I didn't really care because at that time I also didn't think I'd ever be on a


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hello. Good morning. How you doing? Welcome to the show. Hey. You got a camera?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Huh? Well, I assume if he, if he's there, he wants to come in and say something, so that would...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Second guy kinda just... He said he was a scumbag of some sort. Oh, the other one. Both of them, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The two things that we're all about on this podcast is blue collar workers.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What makes you, like, this is Brian. What makes you gangster, Brian? What's the gangster element?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Even if you don't end up taking the job, uh, Poob, you still have friends from your internship, right? It's a good...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But at the same time, I feel like, uhm, the representation that you see on Discord of the community is, uh, it's, it's a weird, like, VIN diagram of, yeah, that is my audience, but it's also the portion of my audience that doesn't have a 9 to 5.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, disturbing in some way. Yeaah, racist, uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hey dude, thanks for calling in. What do you got for us?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wait, before this story even starts, this is going to be kind of a spoiler. Did you get, at the end of the day, did you get your pizza?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] By the way, I just want to weigh in on like, uh, I've been seeing a lot of just insane over the top violence happening at like these car meetups. Yeah, where people just like close down roads and go like, we're gonna do our cars in a circle or whatever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, you got any, uh, like, uh, life advice or anything before you go?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How does a girl uh, respond to you saying, call me by my gamer tag?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I really brought the suspense in with that guy. That was a good pick. You didn't even say nothing, you left a huge impact on me. I'm going by pictures.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well Brian, connect with your, your patron dude, come on. Alright.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, what do you do as your actual- Help out with cows and chickens and- No, no, I mean like, what is the actual day to day of a fucking pharmacist?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Mixes. Yeaah. Like, like they have some that are just geared towards like a very specific mood. Like, uh, you're a highway man in a fantasy novel playlist. Jesus Christ. Yeaah. And, uh, uh, uh, court wizard playlist. One hour.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh shit, oh yeaah. Look at that back, dude. You deadlift?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh fuck, I could see it through that dress dude, that back. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What uh, what do you mean cement?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Are you an affiliate? He's an affiliate. I'm a lowly peasant filian.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He couldn't fail. He's got the audience already built in and he's just like, no, I'm not going to do nothing, man.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I knew you'd do it. Go ahead. I've been a bad boy, so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Happy ending. That's kind of a good name too. Between two cubes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What's worse, like a, uh, cat lady or a rat lady? Rat lady. Yeah, I think rat lady. That's bad for a woman to be beneath a cat woman.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, I actually, I like the IRL videos for sure. Yea, any of the Appalachian videos with my brother. Yea. The hike video that we did with you guys. Yea. You know, any of like the food videos and stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Maybe like the novelty of like the first kinchy video I did, something like that, like any of, any of those where I do, uh, that obviously took some production time. Yeah, there's like a freshness to it. And it, uh, those feel good. And then the worst is probably anything that's like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's awesome. Let's go back to that, your whole girlfriend is your boss thing. What kinda, what's going on there?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So she's in Switzerland and you're back at home fucking around with figurines? Hobby nippers. Yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, it's concerning when you're at the top of the list, cause it's like, they're gonna try to pick at random, which is never the top.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Can I, can I say something? I don't want you to be offended, but I mean. I'm not easily offended, so. You're like a, you look like a good looking dude, like why not have sex with like a woman? Well this is, I don't do this anymore. Oh, okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Was it different media every time or did you have like a go to gooning?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Get cut off. That's weird that that rumor is also going around. Yea, that's who's saying this shit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Have a good one. Alright, you too. Hey, see ya. What a cool guy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, I got my brother to watch that movie. Oh, nevermind. No, we did bond over it a little bit. Good, good. Hello. Hey, what's up? How you doing? Oh, uh, uh, I'm doing great!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Which ones do you, which ones do you use? What's your favorite? What's your fave? Yeah. Uhm, oh man. Is it announcer Draven or is it something else?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do you guys ever shit in public bathrooms? I just did today actually during my


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This guy comes into the stall next to me, and he goes,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was just locked on you and... Oh. Fair. I mean, you just got charm. Yea, that's really all you need.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Any foodie is honestly pretty good halfway through a meal of inedible. Did you eat the whole thing?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We have a, uh, we have a good idea that you might be interested in. Okay, if you have a friend at work, you guys could start a construction podcast where it's just on the job, and you're just, it's you and your friend talking to each other, and in the background's all the hammering and the sawing, and uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, that's basically it. Unintelligible speech, yeah. Yeah. A lot of compression, a lot of hard to hear, like, stripping mics, stuff like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, new co-host. You're new, Brian!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] She's not my mom, okay. Hey, there's a chick down here.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, well I saw the female in the profile picture and I said, my lady, let me lift you out of, out of there. You know, we were just talking to a gooner that was down there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, no, believe it or not, uhm, yeah, what's up?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, those people are cool. I like them all equally. I like all the patrons equally. What do you got for us? Poop will be back in just a minute. Do you want to wait for him?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Somebody, I know, left me some and said, hey, just take this, just don't take a lot of it, and uh, you'll be fine. He like, gave me no instructions, and uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What's up, fun age. Wait, what's the birthday? Fun age?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And do, like, when I come back as, like, a ghost or a zombie, like, do I just leave? Like, what's the point of, like, the grave? Like, do I go in and out of there? Like, she doesn't realize all that's, like, fake yet, you know?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, dying is unreal. You're gonna live forever. Yeah, but she like wants to kind of plan all that out. Cause she's like, that's the end game, so I want to get that over with. Which seems kind of weird. I don't know, I feel like as a test.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We don't want to scare off the rest of the audience, so it was, uh, very nice for you to come on. Thank you. And, uh, we'll see you around sometime. Alright, bye.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, when we first got a computer, we had to teach my grandfather how to use a mouse. Like you move the mouse and it moves the cursor on the screen. He didn't get it. Like his mind didn't compute. And I swear to God, I gave my brother the camera and I don't think he thinks


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, I think he thinks the camera sees what his eyes do. I'm like, you do have to point the camera at what you're trying to film.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've only attempted that like one or two times and it's just, you're always met with deafening silence as you're pissing. It fucks up my rhythm of pissing because I'm like, he ain't talking back, yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You got any recommendations for other people down there?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh yea, I do. Somebody vouched for you, so you have to vouch for somebody else.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, uh, we were just- the wiki wasn't even filled out yet. So like, some of these monsters, it's just like, some people suspect on the wiki-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, by the way, last episode I talked about Lethal Company and I talked about their, uh, Bizzle's roommate Choppa was talking about this little girl every time he turned around. He's like, this little girl's here.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, and I was like, dude, you might be fucking psychotic, because she's not even in the wiki. She had no entry in the wiki. Since then, she has an entry, and I've discovered her myself. Horrifying to just... Yes, she just like comes skipping down the hallway towards you, and uh...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It is not. It is a different vibe. Dude, these, these guys, as soon as you land, if you're like, whatever role you are, you have a set thing you're supposed to do. It's like playing League of Legends.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But that's the problem. The developers of Call of Duty, they figured it out. They make it just enjoyable for two hours. And then once you're over that limit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Camera on? Yeah, you can put the camera on. Thanks for calling in. How you doing? Yeah, yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Lobby, Lobby Nippetool. It sounds like a, it's like a made up series of words, but uhm, wait, what'd you, Lore Lodge? The Lore Lodge, yea. The Lore Lodge, I see this guy, this guy's coming on this podcast, whether he likes it or not. Amazing, I did send you a message on Patreon at some point.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If we got the lore lodge on here and then had a secondary source of guy from bar that owns two skunks. Skunk expert and skunk ape expert.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Nice guy. Yeah, nice guy. You guys want to end it here?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I told her to join AChat, and I know for a fact she's gonna-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, I thought you were talking about your relationship with your parents. That's what I thought too. Yeah, cause that's very much most parental relationships. I love you, but I just can't be around you anymore. Yeah. But you're talking about us.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then, uh, I talk to her again and she's like, yeah, I'm still in Texas. I'm like, what the fuck? Like, are you ever going home?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] She's like, I don't want to. When we played Lethal Company, she was just like, using somebody else's computer.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, start small. And let me tell you something dude, there might be a moment where you kind of get panicky. Uhm, you just need to just let go and just, you can't overdose, you can't die from it. Just let it take the fucking steering wheel.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think that might be the, like, 10 degrees below the lowest temperature ever historically recorded in my area, but uh. I wouldn't surprise you at all. But I was gonna say, uhm.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We're about to see, when you get the crowd together, when you go down into the mob, is it so cordial? I'm about to go down there, I'm about to go see.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And also, hey, you know, I think that's a good idea to do a Don Tony one, where we have like a public, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I just saw my email, I was like, hey, there's a Discord thing at like 9pm.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] For the patron thing, and I was, uh, I emailed Poob fucking months ago. I was like, Jesus fucking Christ, this is gonna be an absolute shit show. And, you know, it seems, yeah, it seems like if you guys are holding out, well, it seems to be alright. You know, I can't speak for everyone that's in that fucking patron lounge right now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was just muted the whole time. I'm pretty brutal in there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Any questions? I mean, I guess like, uh, I guess I came in mind with like a story in general. I saw that you guys wanted to hear those.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Upper peninsula of Michigan. Nice. Saw a fuckin' winter wonderland up here. Uh, there's a university up here that I just graduated from, but my first weekend of college, uhm,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, I was a youngin', you know, I was experimenting with my drugs, so to take acid on the weekends sometimes. And this one time I got hit by a car while I was skateboarding, right when I was peeking.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so I was skateboarding with my buddies off campus and so I had it timed up. I thought perfectly this car was going to turn into campus or like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Go pass and I had it timed up where I was going to skate right past them, but they didn't go through, they stopped and turned.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I flipped over this person's hood as they turned into me, and I just like landed on my feet. And I look around, there's probably fucking six cars at this intersection, and they're all just like, oh my god, dude, are you alright, are you alright? And I'm just like looking around, kinda like tripping balls.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm like, yeah, I'm fine. And the lady who hits me pulls me aside and she was a professor at the fucking university.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I said, what's up poob, this is a huge shot in the dark, I'm a patron, listen everyday, uh, whatever. I said doppelganger might be a stretch, but the more I listen I'm astounded how similar we are.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, physically and mentally, same height, uh, I'm also a Gemini, not that I believe in that kind of shit. Said my feet are just as flat as yours. Uh, many other things, I'll keep it brief, besides the creepy shit or whatever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I didn't prepare any visual gags. I'm 22. Okay. You still got a little bit younger than you. Yeah. But I'm an old soul like you've described as yourself. Yeah, I'm pretty mature. You plan on growing this out a little bit? You see this right here?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No one actually, like, even in real life, no one even calls me by my first name. Everyone calls me Quantum, or Q.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, when I was in middle school, that was my gamertag, and my friends started calling me that in school, and then I came up to school, uh, with like eight of my friends from like elementary school. Stuck, and then...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Told my girlfriend now, when I introduced myself, it was quantum. She said that's too long, I call you Q, so no. Half and half, Q, quantum.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We had like a plan, it was called Atomic, and I was like, oh Atomic, uh, something, and I was like-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Word generator, quantum. I was like, atomic quantum, that sounds fucking sick. Sounds smart.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Awesome. Sorry, I got one more question though. So, uh, what's up with the D&D?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It shits hard though. I can't fucking- People are crazy when they don't get their goddamn medicine.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I know someone who works there, so like nepotism basically has made me become like- What the fuck? What's the difference?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, they ask for IDs sometimes because they have like, shit you can make lean with.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Have you tried to grow mustache? I never thought I could grow one, I just didn't shave for like two years.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do you ever plan on going to any of those events when again like TwitchCon or greater clashes or anything? Yeah, yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like I'm not great at public speaking, but I think I'm more comfortable talking to like a group of people than when it's like just me and the camera. Like I have to do the ad read.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like it just feels so unnatural just talking to like my monitor. It's like when you guys aren't here, I'm just like, uhm, okay, so, and I'm just like over-focused, I'm like, you sound like an idiot right now. I just get way more nervous like anytime I try to record a video where I'm like talking by myself.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sam, do you find yourself having a persona with your general sense? Cause you, you seem to carry over the same level of crassness and, uh, just kind of unpleasantries in real life, I've noticed. Yea, really, honestly.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How do you throw an event for YouTube boxing unless you got some fin- I mean the people right behind us were like screaming the entire time. I really wish I could be that invested in the fights that we're watching.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They knew every single fighter, like every drama and everything, but, I mean, it is kind of like, it's how we have this job, so you gotta- I- I love him, like-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Your paternal instincts kick in when any- anytime someone's in danger, but you lack, like, the social awareness to, like, I don't know, there's a couple situations I remember where, like, when we were at the casino.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Other trinkets and doodads for your body and... Undisclosable trinkets and doodads? Yeah. Things, little machinations, but uh, oh yea, it's a really good time. I'm more excited for the next one, cause I think...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Now that Sam saw the horrors of having to talk to the people that make you and take a photo every once in a while, we'll get those VIP badges and...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean yea, I've been like that before where I see someone like, it's just weird to like get to that point where it's like, wow, I guess there are people that really like this podcast cause like, I can't imagine.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I neglected to get VIP. That's really the real reason I want a VIP this year. Yeah, uh, two coronas right away. I'm like two coronas, but it's gonna be like 15, 40 bucks. Holy shit. What a fucking robbery. Is that for charity?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I know, it's humiliating. You know what's funny too, when they, they did it last year, they all wear the, they get the badge the night before the fight, and then like, Peanut and everyone's wearing it at the casino, like they all wear, they wear the badge like the whole weekend, like, I don't know, it's, it's kind of a flex, but it's,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Today's episode is brought to you by our partner, Athletic Greens. I take AG1 by Athletic Greens literally every day. I give AG1 a try because of the smells my body produces and the noises my stomach makes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I take AG1 first thing, uhm, like in the morning because it says, you know, do it on empty stomach. So I just kind of take it before starting my day around 4pm and it makes me feel like I've done one correct thing for my body that day, just kind of the bare minimum, uhm,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, us at Forehead Fables, we're an athletic group, you know, we care about our bodies, we're always looking for little, uh, you know, athletic life hacks. Which is why we've come to love and trust AG1 by Athletic Greens.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you're looking for an easier way to take supplements, Athletic Greens is giving you a free one year supply of vitamin D and five free travel packs with your first purchase. Go to athleticgreens.com slash forehead. That's athleticgreens.com slash forehead. Check it out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know if this is inappropriate or what, but I know when again you, you're like a, you do Bible stuff, like Bible studies or something. I was thinking about this the other day, about, like, did Jesus have


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He had, you know, the virgin birth from his mother and he had the fathers, whatever. Did he have like cousins and shit? And could a person, a modern day person be a descendant?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Imagine though, if you could, the kind of pull you'd get in like, in the religious world if you could prove you're a descendant of-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My brother and I both are like biblical names, and my parents are religious in choice, that was funny, and like, I don't know, but I wish.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, then they get pulled out, yeah. Why'd they get pulled out in the real one? Err, not sorry, fuck.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He pumps out like a thousand page book a year.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hi Brian. He lives. He's like Uncle Ian. Daniel's like the dad and the three are like the Alvin the Chipmunks. He's like trying to get the Chipmunks. He's trying to kill them. That's what I get, yeah. Yeah, it's... Brian to catch you up. That's pretty good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Are there any biblical stories of like, sorry Sam, this is probably, I just really don't know a lot about this stuff, like, you know, it's all centered around this area geographically, but like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Was he ever punishing like some Mayans for their transgressions or anything? Or like some people, you know, in like, in like Laos? Or is he ever like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I just live more by like a my name is Earl rules situation where it's like you just do good things, you know, you hope it all works out, you know, be a good person. I think that'd be a more chill heaven. It's like you just get like kind of points and then it's like you get enough good points, then you get in, get enough bad points, you go to hell.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then this kind of makes me think also the, you know, a biggie line about like, if you go to heaven, can you like smoke weed there and stuff and like party? Or is it, is it like, I guess no one would really know what it's like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I can see that. It's just a taste. It's actually from a Christian artist, uh, Michael Finster. But he has, he has one where it's, I want it so bad, it's like my, my grail art that I want now where it's like that style of hell below.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then there's earth and then there's heaven above it and it's got like the souls being sucked into both and it's like a five foot tall art piece really badass.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And a leader. And a music man. That's where the sexiness comes into cause it's like he's got station, he's got looks, he's got, you know, he's kind of got that bad boy flair.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So then you'd have to imagine they couldn't have been up there too long. Cause people speculate, you know, cause no one's been up there too long.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was about to say like, wouldn't it be cool if like, more like, people were getting immortality and shit, or people were getting turned into dogs, like, now?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That way we kept it going, but it's like, I guess most of it's like, they did it. You know, it's been done.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, so, you know, you like cryptids and stuff like cryptology, you know, this is the sub question after my main question of like, what, so like, you, you know, like if we just saw a sasquatch, would you be like, what the fuck, like, God did that? Leading to my main question of like, if an, if like aliens just show up and are like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, like, uh, whatever, like if an alien just showed up and was like, would that just like, fuck everything up or is that, uh, I don't know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I'm like the opposite. I'd have to see like, I don't know, some crazy, you know?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'd like to, you know, it'd be cool, like, uh, if I saw, like, some sort of, like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Or yea, or if I saw a superhero I'd probably be like, that was god. I saw like an iron man suit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Have you seen those, those magnetic, you get a leaf that goes on your license plate and then you press a button and it drops off and you get pulled over? I have not heard that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A five hour video on anything. I wouldn't be able to recall shit. I can't, I, I can't do, I can't do any of that except for maybe like TV show plots.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I went to some town, oh, Glenwood Springs, and we didn't go because we're like huge Doc Holliday fans, but everything there is like Doc Holliday theme, cause I guess he, I think he died there or something. I don't fucking know. It's cool, it's like you're just in a bowl, mountain.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Tell us about it. And welcome. So, no, thank you, thank you. Uhm, so this February, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, my papa, my grandfather, uhm, passed away due to a heart attack that instantly killed him.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So it wasn't like he suffered and stuff, I went to the hospital.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was told that my papa had a heart attack and I wasn't told any more information. I was like, well he's had a heart attack before, he has stints, etc. Like, I was told a lot of things about him that he survived before.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was left alone for a bit because my friends like, okay, I'm going to go downstairs, check up on my mom, blah, blah, blah. Then I get a call from my mom and she tells me, I'm coming to you. Your grandfather just passed away and my world just kind of shattered, man. Like he was not in my life a lot, but each moment was special.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] For me, because I didn't get a lot of time with him. And...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That was a good thing you said that because I was gonna get to that point for him, but at the moment, uhm, at the time when it happened, all I felt was damage shattered, like I said, uhm, but then a rush of anger came through because I have


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In my family anger issues, it comes from my dad, his dad, and all I felt was like, either I'm gonna punch a wall, or I'm gonna punch someone. And luckily I didn't act on my anger, but I was damn near close.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't like to show my emotions too much.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And at that time my dad called me and he told me, you need to be the man for the house right now because your mom's going through something really bad. Because he wasn't there at the time. He was out.


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[Assistant] Like in Texas, he was driving from Texas down to Arkansas and I was like,


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[Assistant] I'm gonna have to hold this burden of keeping my emotions bottled up so my mom has somebody to, like, comfort. Or I have...


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[Assistant] My aunt kept saying, you look so much like your grandfather. You remind me so much of your grandfather. And it just kept breaking me.


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[Assistant] Because everyone gets the experience though, you look like your grandfather, you should be lucky. I don't see it as I look like my grandfather. I see it as I look like me and I don't get that gift that everyone else gets.


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[Assistant] Uhm, well, before I was born, he had a really bad heart attack. And that was like, forever ago. And he was said,


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[Assistant] I don't see things like, uh, today's gonna be a horrible day because this happened or that happened. No, I'm like, today's gonna be good because I'm here.


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[Assistant] It was something that I got to cherish as my first name and I was, I was happy with it. I want to be known as Kenneth professionally because that's what he did, but at home he was like, uh, Papa. So he didn't really care for first names, but.


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[Assistant] Funny thing is all my friends used to call me by my middle name. Now they all call me Kenneth.


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[Assistant] So after that, some months passed, I have some breakdowns at work, of course, it's like,


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[Assistant] It's still like grief. This was like a month after I had a breakdown at work because there was a song that reminded me of him and I was like, okay, I gotta take a step back. But the worst day after that day was of course his celebration of life that he had.


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[Assistant] And uh, it did not feel like it was for him. It felt like people trying to place themselves in his


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[Assistant] I, I couldn't imagine myself just placed in a chair and just, they,


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[Assistant] If, like, being alive now, thinking, oh, there's a potential that was happening, like, it's scary in a way, like, how do I want to be preserved?


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[Assistant] By stealing his stuff, selling it, blah, blah, blah. Came to that same funeral. And we're like, sorry for your loss. Like they didn't sound genuine.


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[Assistant] Are you here to do business? Are you here to actually be sorry? You know?


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[Assistant] And time to find out, the guy who was his best friend was there for business. Seems like I'm here to...


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[Assistant] The weirdest thing is, I don't know any of their names. They go by, like, the weirdest names. One was named Porky, one was named Beaver, like, it was like,


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[Assistant] That cane is mine. He didn't collect anything who like out of the ordinary. He, he was at like


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[Assistant] You're a blue collar man. So he had like a bunch of like tractors. He had like propane tanks and like airplane ramps for some reason.


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[Assistant] Airplane mechanic for a while. So that's how he got those pretty cheap, pretty easy


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[Assistant] It was, uh, shipping them to his home was hard. He was like a well-traveled man. He went to Korea, he went to Virginia. He went.


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[Assistant] Oh, definitely. I'm a historical person, I'm a, I just, I like just the aspect of traveling.


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[Assistant] He only traveled like two places really, like outside of the country, which was those two, but, uh, in the states, he was like in like at least 38, 39 states for travel, typically building planes, fixing planes.


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[Assistant] Well, for six months he was stationed in Korea to...


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[Assistant] Help build planes and stuff.


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[Assistant] But uhm, he got to stay in this one little Korean home that was owned by these, like, wonderful people that still claim to be his, like, friends.


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[Assistant] Having somebody translate it for them. And it's like written out.


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[Assistant] Like in their language and then just underneath is like the actual language. Shows the touch of his impact.


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[Assistant] Fixing the B21 and she's like, oh, I can't wait to drink. I can't wait. I'm like, why?


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[Assistant] I really, really appreciate it all and I enjoy being here.


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[Assistant] What came first? A&W the restaurant or A&W the root beer? This is our deep dive. This is what


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[Assistant] I keep talking about the Adam and Eve thing, like. No. No, okay, forget it.


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[Assistant] I'm talking about, I'm just thinking. Name one guy at 40 that was, that's when they hit the chart. Most male actors, I think.


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[Assistant] Sometimes I'll sit, like, I know when I'm in a rut in life, when I'll sit there going like, fuck dude, look at those, like, beds that you can lay in and fucking just have TVs and you can just never leave your bed. I'm like, that would be the life. And I'm like, dude, I should not be fantasizing about laying in bed.


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[Assistant] Yeah, I'll blow like giant farts and wake her up scared, and sometimes when I am awake, I'll knowingly just put my asshole up to her leg and fart on it and shit. But she'll think I'm sleeping, so.


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[Assistant] Yeah, I don't move around too much. That's why I'm usually fine. My problem is I have allergies, so look, I'll wake up, like I got poked in the fucking eyeball, and I'll just sit there for half an hour like this.


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[Assistant] Just cause I can't open my fucking eyes, it's the worst thing in the world.


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[Assistant] I can't get anywhere near it, I'll poke it with a fucking stick or something, but that's it. Right?


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[Assistant] Apparently, apparently, apparently, and these don't reflect my values in real life, but I do yell a lot of slurs in my sleep, and I do kick around, I'll say like, slurs in my sleep.


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[Assistant] For me, it's, it's, I hear somebody, like, I'll hear somebody, like, a person breaking in or, like, coming in, and I'm like, fuck, I need to move, I need to move to prepare for this, and then I'm like, I can't move.


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[Assistant] He traded, he traded his whole family's life for this thing.


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[Assistant] Yeah, ehm. Uh. Kristen. Kristen's a nice bro. Yeah. Sure.


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[Assistant] That's good if you like editing, that shit's so fucking painful.


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[Assistant] And I don't know, I don't know how much you were watching, but before that, he, he had, it was just a camera of a box with a smiley face and a giant jug of water, like a huge gallon jug. He drank that whole fucking thing, and then he did that sitting thing, so he's like, I don't know if you noticed, I was shaking, cause I had to pee really bad for like all of that, and then I was like, why the fuck did I pee?


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[Assistant] It is fun playing with, it's six people though so it's always like full and I like, I feel like everybody else wants to play more than I do so I always just like, go ahead, go play. I haven't bothered to like,


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[Assistant] Uh, can you wait to piss that shit out?


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[Assistant] Oh, that's awesome. We got, we got two minutes and fifteen seconds to get that two hour mark, you know.


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[Assistant] It's my ticket money man, I need that shit back.


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[Assistant] What if he wiped his ass with your fucking letter and sent it back, would you, would that count?


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[Assistant] Was it a racehorse movie? Is it Mr. Ed? Yeah, Mr. Ed. Okay, that's some blind noise. What the hell is Mr. Ed? Wait!


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[Assistant] Uh, Stalt actually voiced over and corrected me last time, so I'd like him to do that again. This is episode...


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[Assistant] And, yeah, and, uh, you know what? We're fresh off the heels of a couple exciting nights of recording the D&D podcast, and so we're kind of...


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[Assistant] Yeah, everybody send Bizzle some flowers maybe, uh, get well soon.


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[Assistant] Well, I just, I don't know, I just felt like they didn't hit. If you guys want them back, you can have them back.


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[Assistant] He seems like the kind of guy that could get sucked up into a cult pretty easy. Yeaah. I believe it.


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[Assistant] Anyways, yea, today we're gonna do, uh, fucking Tearmakers because we said we were gonna up the production value.


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[Assistant] Ted? Ted? That guy went to Rainforest Cafe. I know of that place, so he's kind of... Wait, no, that was... That was Eddie. Yeah, they went together.


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[Assistant] It's supposed to be something where I get on there and I'm supposed to have a great conversation with these people.


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[Assistant] You got that goddamn green paper behind you. That's it.


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[Assistant] And put like a shattering effect of your words up there.


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[Assistant] I always feel like jazzy guys are supposed to be kind of an ethnic thing but like,


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[Assistant] Wait, is all that background noise you, or?


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[Assistant] No, no, you just, we'll just say wow, I hear your indoor water feature. Very classy.


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[Assistant] He's been living out in the woods, and he has to tear leopard heads off daily.


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[Assistant] Uh, this, by the way, is a hilarious picture that I keep seeing, and it's, uh, wait, hold on, let me move.


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[Assistant] Oh, fuck. I'll just move me out of the way. This is a study that was done, a poll, and it was, which of the following animals, if any, do you think you could beat in a fight if you were unarmed? And they polled a bunch of, uh, uh, little Brit boys, and then a bunch of guys from the US.


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[Assistant] Which is hilarious because six, was this by a percentage? Six percent, yea this is percent of two thousand adults. Six percent of these adults think that they could be a grizzly bear and hand to hand. No bat! No bat! Just hand to hand.


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[Assistant] I can't even think about that, multiple, it's like fighting Doc Ock, he's gonna lose. You're not Spider-Man, Poob's friend. I should have put Doc Ock on this.


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[Assistant] Honestly think one baboon. Baboons are fu- they fucking weird now.


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[Assistant] Yeah. Old world monkeys are, uh, let's see. Hold on.


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[Assistant] Oh, they are the largest primate family. I figured it was like a small one. Anyways, uh, I'm gonna go down here and I'm gonna look at like... Let's see, main... Okay.


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[Assistant] Mmm, this is, uh, Chacma. The Chacma is 47 inches tall.


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[Assistant] And 88 pounds. Yeah, I'm gonna fucking get destroyed by this thing.


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[Assistant] No, okay, I have been in the camp, like,


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[Assistant] On the Appalachian Trail, there's like those, uh, the, like the ranger outpost or whatever. You go in there and get little maps and little like, oh, I've been to the Smoky Mountain National Park. And here's a little poster. They have a taxidermied black bear there.


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[Assistant] That movie's horrific. I would be


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[Assistant] If you're listening to this, go look up Hugh Glass. The part of the Revenant, which was this epic tale. That's accurate.


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[Assistant] That was like a quarter of his life. That was like, he did so much more badass shit. The guy was a, uh, he was Shanghai'd and he ended up being like a pirate.


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[Assistant] Against his will and like swam away from the pirate ship and got like, uh, he got like taken in by natives. Like the guy had a wild life and then that little segment.


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[Assistant] Honestly, honest to Gersh, if I came across like a, my average black bear I've seen and had to have like a fight with it, I think I, I don't, I don't think I'd kill it. I think I would scare it off and dissuade it before I would, but with a metal baseball bat? That, hey, no, no, that brings it back up to I could brain it.


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[Assistant] That's specifically Bugs Bunny? I would lose every time. It would eviscerate me.


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[Assistant] Adult chimpanzees have an average standing height of 4 foot 11. So it's like fighting Danny Devito with muscles. Wild adult males weigh


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Between 40 and 70 kg, which is 88 to 154 pounds. Females weighing 60 to 110. Is this male or female? Chimp. Does your friend ever read it?


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[Assistant] You know what? I watched a video of this lady. This is in like, Georgia or something, just based off of her accent.


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[Assistant] This lady comes up with a bat to whoop this other lady's ass, gets the first swing, just hits her in the ribs, and then the lady that got hit just immediately lays up the lady with the bat.


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[Assistant] Like if you fuck up that first swing, you're just within punching distance and that thing's gonna tear your face off.


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[Assistant] Okay, by the way, your friend is, you said six foot three. I would say if you're gonna fight as a person, you're gonna fight another species. You should find someone that's equitable in your branch or I guess your placement of the species. Six foot three is fucking huge for a human.


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[Assistant] This is the official cryptid fandom. Cryptids with a Z fandom. Not my Chupacabra. My Chupacabra is much more docked.


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[Assistant] When it sucks blood it makes an odd noise.


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[Assistant] Wait, possible population, large, increasing. What? I thought there was just one! Wait, first sighting, 1995?


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[Assistant] They get up like a foot off the ground, or like, you know, they can fly up over fences.


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[Assistant] Yeah, that's kinda weird. Okay, that- okay, this is a chupacabra. Can it stand up like a kangaroo? Okay, I'm a believer. Wait, wait, they just raised a question that isn't answered.


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[Assistant] You kind of have to sacrifice one of your arms.


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[Assistant] But then again, I've also seen one video of this guy, this pitbull was coming after this guy.


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[Assistant] And he picks it up and does like a so long gay Bowser move.


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[Assistant] I've seen a couple insane videos where donkeys are kind of like playing the role of like a, uh, a shepherd dog. I've seen that, where like they're like- They're aggressive, yeaah.


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[Assistant] Shrek 1, Shrek 2, I hated Shrek 3, and I hated Shrek 4. Uhm, I'm gonna go ahead and say that with the temperament of Donkey, Monster Mash it.


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[Assistant] You know, he can do a kick. He does have some. I would, Monster Mash is like Macho Man Randy Savage when he beats up Pee Wee Herman's hamster.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, he does have the ability to turn around and kick, so.


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[Assistant] They say like, they can act all cuddly and cute and shit, but they, yeah, they're, they're wild.


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[Assistant] Okay, okay, I might get out alive, but I'm gonna be fucked up with the one. It's gotta be a toss up at least. A toss up, a toss up. If you're talking two, one is just gonna send me into like,


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[Assistant] By the way, this isn't Assassin's Creed where like, while one's attacking, the other two are going to circle around and be like, we'll wait for the first one.


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[Assistant] You could probably stuff a couple harpy eagles down a big vase, I think.


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[Assistant] I think it's probably- I found it. New species in Nairobi.


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[Assistant] Whoa, and I'm going to L-E-S-U-L-A. It looks like some sort of baboon. Okay, okay, hold on. Hey, he's an old world monkey.


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[Assistant] Wait, nevermind. The Lusula's Days consist of leisurely activities such as foraging for fruits, vegetation, grooming, and resting.


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[Assistant] No, those guys are in the same bracket as the new monkey. I wouldn't be able to hit them, I don't think. I feel like they're even next to each other right here. Dicknose and new monkey? Best friends? They probably hang out and leisurely eat fruits and stuff together.


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[Assistant] Yeah, I think, uh, I wouldn't want to.


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[Assistant] Oh my god. Gender ratio on these things. Listen to this. There's gender ratios? How do they even procreate? 87.5% male.


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[Assistant] And, and like the, uh, why they have so many dudes willing to be suicide bombers in the Middle East.


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[Assistant] Because of the lack of females. Lack of females, dude. Dudes can have multiple wives. Ladies only want to get married to a guy that's older and has a bunch of money because it's a cultural thing. So like if you're a young dude, in the prime of your sexuality, there's no, there's no...


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[Assistant] Abilities Defiant and Torrent. Let me look up what these are. I don't know anything about Pokemans. Uuuh.


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[Assistant] Is the guy that hit me in that dodge that hit me, people? They're always talking about that goddamn engine.


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[Assistant] Got my ass kicked by a Canadian goose, so.


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[Assistant] And came down and like when it tried to pick her up by her head or whatever, attack her, actually she got knocked out for a second. Cause she's like, I just woke up on the fucking parking lot floor.


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[Assistant] You talked about chickens by the way, a little side away before we get back to this. I had, uh, uh, people over for Thanksgiving.


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[Assistant] And one of the, one of the guys that was over, he's uhm, he's got a chicken coop, and he lives kind of far away out of town, and uhm, probably like a 45 minute drive, and he's like, dude, I'd love to stay but,


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[Assistant] Uh, alright, what's the next one? Okay, alright.


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[Assistant] I can see in the future and I'm gonna refuse to make anybody fight that little baby elephant.


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[Assistant] You're gonna start a sitcom. That fucking lounging monkey in a- I don't want the baboon there. That thing fucking freaks me out. That's all they want out of it.


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[Assistant] The setting is Stuart Little's house. Oh man, he can drive around that place like it's a, like a Formula One track, yeaah.


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[Assistant] The only thing I know about tuna is from Will Ferrell's thing from the other guys. And so I know that they're about 800 pounds or something, I'm not gonna be able to lift it up like a kebab.


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[Assistant] Uhm, I don't even know if, like, what offensive capabilities does it have?


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[Assistant] Abby used to eat those with a fucking stupid smile on her face. Like that was, it's just like ice cream. No, it's not. You're just tricking yourself.


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[Assistant] Just eat regular ice cream and workout. I would rather just workout and eat bad.


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[Assistant] There's like breaking news, liver King on steroids. Yeah. You don't say what a shot the guy's got like.


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[Assistant] What I find hilarious is I saw a video of him, like every video of him is just, he's like out in the woods eating whatever. So you don't get a sense of scale. I just saw a video of him in a kitchen with normal ass dudes and they're like not ripped. They're just like normal guys.


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[Assistant] Uhm, when you get to that lower body fat percentage, they can go in and surgically like liposuction in between your abs.


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[Assistant] That would explain why he sits down and they're always, even when he's sitting, bumping. Cause he has nothing, there is no fat in between them or anything.


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[Assistant] Okay, first of all, it was all derivative.


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[Assistant] No, yeah, I didn't know that was his point though, cause I was watching all those clips and you just see the I love Hitler part and I know it's because he's


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, if, if you go like, hey, like, there's like shades of like, good in a person, and this is the thing I like about him, and I wanted to hear what that point was, but if his thing that he's relying on is like, he had cool architecture,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, something as irredeemable as, as, as Hitler. No, I don't think there's anything you could say, but like if you find someone that's like, oh, that's kind of like a bad person, but then they did a lot of good. Like Dr. Seuss was apparently a total fucking scumbag, but he wrote the Dr. Seuss books. Are these real?


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[Assistant] I'm gonna goddamn put my foot down on this one. I'm not doing it! Oh wait, are you saying, are you saying you're not f-


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[Assistant] I definitely would love to give the blunt to the trunk of the baby elephant for sure. So he's number one right there. And then I want to see him pass it to the bird, I think.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I would definitely say I still think the chimp would win because chimps are fucking, it could just like, do like a choke hold and pop that head off the pitbull.


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[Assistant] Ram would lose to a pitbull, but I think a chimp would beat a ram.


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[Assistant] Yeah, Rassler. I've watched the first two seasons over and over again, cause my kids love it. And they're great.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, no, that is not a show. My show for Smoky Time Scared is definitely Adventure Time. I went back to it twice.


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[Assistant] What's weird is I feel like baboons are very aggressive looking and they're frightful, but I feel like they're actually pussies. I think they're aggressive.


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[Assistant] Okay, wait, wait, wait. What we'll simply do is chimp vs. baboon.


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[Assistant] Jesus dude, bad boons, they're just horrifying when they like, there's just so many images of them standing on their hind leg carrying like, of some fucking infant deer that they're, that they're tearing the intestines out of. They just look so evil.


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[Assistant] You just called them pussies. Yea, I did, and I regret it. These things are like, nightmare fuel for me. They just weird me out.


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[Assistant] This was not regarded as predation since the dogs were killed when used by their owners to chase baboons responsible for crop and livestock raiding.


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[Assistant] Oh, but no, specifically I said Pitbull and one of the instances is...


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[Assistant] Uh, olive baboon, which isn't even the biggest fucking baboon I'm looking at here. Killing a pitbull.


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[Assistant] It's the eviscerate, it would eviscerate me category. Which is comprised of Bugs Bunny lounging back eating a carrot.


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[Assistant] Uh, the Jack Link's beef jerky, um, Bigfoot, specifically the one from the commercials, not the cryptid Bigfoot, not to be confused. So it's pretty smart. A grizzly bear that looks like it's had a lifetime of drug addiction.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] By the way, I'm willing to say that a hippo would beat a rhino as well. Because rhinos are like, they're just kind of like a ram dude. The thing about that goat is that they do a charge.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Every time I've seen like a good thing, it's always like a... not like a consistent attack.


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[Assistant] They should do a running with the bulls, but with rhinos. I think that would be awesome. That would be the scariest thing in the fucking world.


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[Assistant] Leaps and bounds ahead of the Rhino for intel, aggression, and bite force, and fighting instincts.


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[Assistant] Oh, I forgot about, their claws are so, they're like hidden in that cute little paw, and then you forget that those things can just strip the flesh off of you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Let me confer with my colleagues real quick. On average, silverback gorillas are about two feet shorter than a grizzly bear when they both stand on their high feet. Dude, I love how many websites there are of this shit, dude. Silverback gorillas can reach up to 500 pounds, which is about half the weight of the largest grizzly bear. Goddamn, half the weight?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A bear's strength without aggression is two to five times stronger than the average human.


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[Assistant] Okay, yea, the silverback gorilla, 6 feet, grizzly bear, 8 feet, silverback, weight, 485 pounds, damn that's a big gorilla, grizzly bear, 800 pounds. 800, I mean, on size alone, weight class.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wait. Just pure power. Lifespan 40 years for the gorilla. For the grizzly bear only 20 to 25 years old. They could just, could wait him out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is also 15 pounds faster than the gorilla. 15 pounds? 15 miles per hour. Sorry, I was reading, I was reading something else at the same time.


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[Assistant] And not only that, but, I mean, he seems docile, he's just there for the jack links.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I thought he just gets mad if there's like Jack links involved or something. What's the, what's the marketing like?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, I was, I was gonna say like, I'm willing to say some shit that'll like, you know, get us in trouble. I can take the heat, but the one thing I don't want to do is get...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is unknown territory. This is so weird cause they're just each behemoths in their own regard, but they're, they're, they just don't seem like they would ever come across each other or like, I don't know how, it's such a weird mixed matchup.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Dude, Bigfoot's like alone in this world, is kind of an overall pussy, has been walking away from every camera that points at him.


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[Assistant] He seems like if he took all the monkeys in the world and made like a high school with them.


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[Assistant] He looks like at the last day of high school, they would go, Oh, were you here the whole time? You're not like a transfer student.


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[Assistant] And then give me hip dimensions of Mewtwo. I wanna know waist size. 6.5 meters tall. I don't know what that is.


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[Assistant] No it's not. We have properly labeled everything, uh, from...


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[Assistant] No, you're fine now. Do you wanna do like an outro or something? Brian, hit us with an ender.


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[Assistant] You enjoyed it. Send a very nice message to the Patreon account.


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[Assistant] Yeah, well it was either geared towards Poove or geared towards you and I don't want to like rank video game emulators or some shit, like whatever fucking, uh. Dark Souls Bosses, LBA, uh.


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[Assistant] Who's the guy that gives you the right of kindling in the first one?


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[Assistant] Those Sonic movies really kinda laid bare how just dumb of a fuckin' hero Sonic is. I'm not a- Have you seen those? Yea, I've seen them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's uh, it's pretty damn good. Honestly, of all the animated, uh, films about Dr. Seuss stuff,


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[Assistant] Specifically Grinch related stuff. It has an awesome like...


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[Assistant] Whimsical Whoville, if that makes sense. It captures the, the Who-ey-ness of Whoville.


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[Assistant] But now it's getting nice and mellowed out.


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[Assistant] Yep. Oh shit. Yeah, wait. Do we ever like, do you want to sign off?


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[Assistant] Yes, uh, just one, my laptop's freezing up guys, I'm so sorry.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, yeaah, yeaah, that would be alright, I'd be alright with that. My shit's freezin' up, sorry guys.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then for 9 years after that I was being taken care of by my grandmother who then passed away just this year in February. And so, I'm wondering if I got some sort of, if I got something from it, I guess. If I got some sort of PTSD or something.


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[Assistant] I'm sorry? Your ethnicity? Uh, Native American.


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[Assistant] Uhm, it's just about how often I have like these, like, depressive thoughts and poignant thoughts of just always


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[Assistant] Going back to thinking about how my family was, about people I love, people I've...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, cared about for so long, and then I just can't, like, I don't know. I try to move on with it, yea, I've definitely tried to move on with it, but it's just always this strong feeling that kinda like, still gets to me, even to this day.


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[Assistant] And especially with this year where uhm,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was essentially being taken care of up until, you know, I was 20, 19 years old and then.


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[Assistant] For the whole year now, I've just been living by myself and just living in the remnants of what my grandmother has propped up for me and how to take care of myself.


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[Assistant] Just like, uh, my friends, I have two friends, they live in a different part of the state from me, but we get on voice chats and I talk to one of them extensively about


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Kind of the stuff that has gone on in my life and I was, I was able to vent through that sort of way and throughout all my life I've also had channels to sort of vent out like my


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] All my grief with my mother and my father and then...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] After that, I was just like, graduating high school, I just also had, you know, a little bit of a depressive state where I just felt useless. And then after my grandma passed away,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Now it's just more or less about being like, I have a job and I'm thankful for that, that I managed to get a job after she passed away.


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[Assistant] But nowadays it's just, I don't know, I don't feel like, I don't know if I can open up anymore, I don't know if I can, like, to just normal people and I just feel so, like, isolated from everyone around me at my workplace and just natural life and just, like, uhm.


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[Assistant] Going outdoors, trying to just live, I feel like it's just, there's a wall between me and everyone else that I just can't come to either socialize or relate to all that good with, with other people.


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[Assistant] I'm just a wage cuck, really, I just work at...


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[Assistant] Fast food chain. I make blizzards. Nothing wrong with that. Yeah, yeah, nothing wrong with that. Yeah, blizzards are awesome.


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[Assistant] I don't think so, I think all that they've got...


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[Assistant] Like even so I'm shoddy on what they have I think I don't really think they have any good benefits cuz most of it's just for like.


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[Assistant] 16 to 19 year olds, like, people still in high school, like, getting their first job, that's kinda what they hired for.


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[Assistant] You know, I'm not like an active person, I'm very much kind of just keeping myself at home, and that's kind of how it's been for a while, but...


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[Assistant] I am kind of, no, no, I'm not, I guess, I would say I'm a little bit notable, only to the people I've interacted with. That's about it.


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[Assistant] Yeah, I've been doing so for the past decade, yea, past, as long as I've seen that.


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[Assistant] Dedication to your craft, we share that. We definitely all share that and that's cool. Yea, I mean, each of you have thought about getting a third person camera. That way it looks, people can pretend we're you. Yea. Walking around those places.


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[Assistant] Creepy vibe, you know, that's something where...


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[Assistant] Well, that'd be a cool final video. Is someone else talking at the beginning? Like, I found this on his bones.


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[Assistant] We'll be making videos about you. What happened? You know, docu-series and stuff.


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[Assistant] The physics phenomenon, right? If you were backflipping enough, his body might start curving. Maybe. Like when they do backspin on a basketball.


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[Assistant] Like any plots, you know? It's like, it's a typical place in a movie where a kid would stumble into and be like, what? And then the goons would go


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Slight segway, I want to get back to, you know, this urban exploring. But I also just took in a fan recently, turned friend. If you're a patron, or a tier 3, you can come to my house, okay? Just had it happen. This man met my mother, okay? He now knows every personal detail about my life. So...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But, it's when he was like, you know, I was thinking like, how do I trust this guy? He showed me, he's a patron for the podcast. Oh my god, okay, this is a good guy. He's a stand-up guy. He's the salt of the earth. He's really strong.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He got to do stuff to me that a regular, you know, just fan wouldn't be able to. And that's pretty cool. But coming back to urban exploring.


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[Assistant] Some town, my little cousins and I, we had one, you know, it's like the big cousin, but they're probably two years older than me. I was, you know, eight or something. They're like, let's go off, you know, let's go do our own shit. Found a little place, a little broken brick wall, went in there, and I remember we found a bunch of like, uhm, it's like excavation equipment or something, you know, just a lot of,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Mechanisms that, you know, the child mind can't comprehend. I wouldn't be able to understand what they are now because I'm not a toolsman. But there was a, like a backhoe dump with a bed in it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And we were so fucking, you know, at this time, this might have been one of my first experiences with homeless people, because I was just so young and from a town where there's no homeless people, you know, we're just out in the woods.


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[Assistant] Right. And we were like, oh my god, I bet, you know, this is probably people from way back in the day. Like, this is probably, you know, some ancient civilization shit. And then we heard people like, ahhhh, like coming into it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it was, you know, it was cool for a look, it was like SCATTER! And we all ran away, never saw my older cousin again, but she was kind of a bitch. But just, uh, it was cool, you know, it almost gave me the bug, and then I didn't do it, so. It's a pretty good story.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't, I hate to interrupt, actually, just keep going. I came in. No, no, no, you're fine. I'm off, but...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Little bit of darkness where the iris is or some shit. They said dark where the 2020 is. Don't know what that means.