[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Time to, uh, get some, uh, summer wear, but, uh, by, by sometime this summer with the, like, I read that wrong. Uh, Mack Weldon daily wear system. I love Mack Weldon. I actually, I have Mack Weldon. For terms of off your first order, visit mackweldon.com slash Nate and enter promo code Nate. That's Mack Weldon.


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[Assistant] dot com slash nate, promo code nate for 20% off, Mack Weldon, radically efficient wardrobe.


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[Assistant] And also, you know DraftKings is the official Daily Fantasy partner of the NFL, and now is the time to get in on the action.


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[Assistant] Download the DraftKings app and enter code NATELAND.


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[Assistant] This week, new customers get a free shot at the $1 million top prize and compete for millions in prizes across all contests. You get a minimum, or minimum $5 deposit required.


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[Assistant] That is code NATELAND on the DraftKings app for a free shot at a million dollars. Sports is all starting right now, so make sure you do that. Welcome everybody.


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[Assistant] Got my fantasy draft tonight. Fantasy draft tonight. Longest running, right? It's been going. 26 years. 26 years. For the internet. You know that? We've talked about that on here. Yeah, yeah.


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[Assistant] I like the ones that are like that, where you guys, I'm in a, uh, with Ronnie Barghetti, my cousin, uh.


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[Assistant] We're in a golf fantasy and they've been doing it. This is my first year doing it, but they've been doing it for 37 everybody and it's my Ronnie's age. You're all like in their seventies and so everybody's been doing it for, uh,


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[Assistant] They're at like 30 something years and uh, it's great cause you just do one draft and then you don't do anything else and then he just tallies up the score.


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[Assistant] And so it's pretty fun. Uh, cause it's like, I was supposed to do one this year and I said no. I just, it's too much.


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[Assistant] I get that, like I would've done, like I was in one a long time ago with some friends, Michael, uh, Clay, who we moved, uh, started comedy with, and like, I liked it, I was like, you know, uh,


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[Assistant] We knew everybody. I enjoyed it because it was like close and then it started getting a little spread out where you kind of be in it. You're like, I don't even know. I know like three of the people.


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[Assistant] And then you're just like, I just have no, I don't have the time to pay attention to it.


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[Assistant] And it's just a lot. But I get doing one like that. But you were almost kicked out of it.


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[Assistant] Isn't, the guy you're with is the Emmy story, right? We told that on here. My favorite story.


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[Assistant] And then there was a tie, and the tie was the other two. And so he just loses. I mean, it's, the odds are unreal. It's unreal.


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[Assistant] It's great. Alright everybody, uh, if you guys saw the poll, we, we didn't do the poll. Someone asked, we only had like one person to ask though, right? Or a couple people.


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[Assistant] Yeah, we talked ourself out of the pool. It is, it is, we're, we're, we can be, we're moving on.


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[Assistant] I think everybody was like, all right, we get it. I like where it's at. Hello folks. If you're in the wild, you're able to respond. Let's go folks. Let's go folks. It's a very, it's a fun thing to yell at each other when we're out. Like, I mean, don't yell at all of our shows the whole time, but it is funny when you, I do enjoy it when I walk out. If someone does a let's go folks, that's almost like a,


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[Assistant] Perfect. That's almost perfect at a show. But they do it, cause they do it great. Where they just yell it and it's like, all right, we acknowledge it. Out of the way. We know people are there. And then, uh, so I like what it is. Hello folks is how we will introduce and then, uh, but let's go folks. I know there's let's go folks, uh, Instagram, right? Yeah. So there you go.


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[Assistant] Yeah. Yeah. But then I realized I was, I was standing in the street. Uh, we played, uh, I golfed yesterday, uh, at Bell Meade golf court. Never been there. It's like, uh, and, uh, John Augustine, our guy, John, course record yesterday. Yeah. I've seen him set two course records.


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[Assistant] It's not insane for, it's not like me walking in going, yep, well, you know, and the guy's like, ah, you got to do it competitively or something. It doesn't make sense. That's not how it works. And then Bell Meade, exact opposite, they're thrilled about it and they love it. And, uh, and I think he shot a 65 because they just, they moved the T's back. He had two, like, I mean, chipped in the first hole, uh, like a 45, 50 yard knocked it in the hole.


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[Assistant] Uh, for eagle. And then on a par four, probably like a hundred and yard, a hundred yard shot, just like a boop boop and then drop the end.


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[Assistant] And it's crazy. And he had, I mean, dude, he had, I think, uh, two, three putts and three bogeys and shot a 65. Yeah. That's amazing. It's pretty wild. Uh, so, uh, we're playing today. Brian and I are playing later.


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[Assistant] Nine holes, kids will be out there. God, they see y'all two walk out there and they.


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[Assistant] Yeah, you got, you're wearing the jacket. Jacket fits good. It does fit.


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[Assistant] You know? Yeah, you do if you feel power with that. I do. Over just a dumb fear. As much as I'm gonna-


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[Assistant] That's an, yeaah, something. Deer are everywhere. When you see them, they don't come, they don't run in front of your car. They don't even look at me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I saw a deer get hit the other day and it was, uh, I didn't see it but it was laying in front of these people's driveway and I was like, man, that's the worst. Like what do you do when you hit a deer? You gotta call somebody? Police or something?


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[Assistant] Well, I mean, if there's damage. No, but I mean, like when it's- You call somebody and they come and get it. Someone comes and gets it. I don't think you have to take care- Do you know who you call? No. I don't know who I-


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[Assistant] Y'all calling for a dead squirrel in the yard. And they're like, and the guy's like, just drive over it in the middle, dude. Like, why are you, I'm not coming out there.


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[Assistant] That's tough. That's a tough, hard neighbor. You gotta hope when you move in a neighborhood, you got someone that's like a go-getter and that person should be rewarded. Like you should like acknowledge.


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[Assistant] They, you know, I think that's what they would honestly think. They would just, they would see, they would see you with that jacket and then they go, godly, I guess he's got, someone's got dinner tonight. Aaron's got takeout.


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[Assistant] I have to say this is my favorite episode of an already fantastic show. You could do every episode with just comments. The tangents you go on are ridiculous and it gives us all folks a chance to be part of the conversation with Nate Aaron and Banana Hammock. It's great.


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[Assistant] I thought it was niche. I didn't know. I would, I would rather say niche. I didn't know people did that.


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[Assistant] I'd say niche. I think they both work, man. I think you're both doing great. I thought that was one of the words is trying to, an olive branch to do.


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[Assistant] By the way, I'm walking to an art gallery and go, wow, this is a very niche painting. This is niche. It's pretty niche in here, huh?


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[Assistant] Leslie Dewberry. My wife and I have been nomads since Hurricane Ida hit. Normally they drive from New Orleans to- My family.


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[Assistant] Okay, my family and I have been nomads since Hurricane Ida hit.


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[Assistant] Normally the drive from New Orleans to Chattanooga would be around seven hours, but with thousands of other folks evacuating,


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[Assistant] As well, it took us 14 hours to finally make it there.


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[Assistant] We've been hotel hopping since then trying to find something stable.


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[Assistant] Through the already booked Labor Day weekend, the Nate Land podcast has helped me and my two girls.


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[Assistant] Keep a shred of sanity and for the most part positive attitudes during those long car rides. And we even learned a random facts along the way. Please wish us luck.


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[Assistant] And keep us in your prayers as we navigate our next steps. Thank you for not taking life too seriously and sharing laughs. My whole family loves you guys. We're really looking forward to one day seeing you in a, it says seeding.


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[Assistant] Leslie, we will, prayers up for you guys. That's, I mean, that's brutal. Uh, that stuff, 14 hours, man. Everybody's leaving. That's, uh, you know, that's a long drive. Yeah. And then your end goal is Chattanooga. Uh, not saying anything bad about Chattanooga.


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[Assistant] Get on back at it. Well, I tell you, once you get there, you're both basically like, alright, let's head back.


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[Assistant] Be good out there guys, be safe. Uh, towel under the door. My date with the president's daughter is an absolute classic starring Will Friedle, who also played Eric on Boys Meets World.


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[Assistant] Keep up the great stuff. Aaron Land is my favorite podcast. I've turned a lot of folks onto it. Oh, Aaron Land. He's got some listeners.


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[Assistant] I do the old way, not the new way. I bet he's a guy that now when you look at him, if you see him now, you would just stare at him and be like, how do I know? Like, you know, are you saying younger and older? Yeah, like the one with that long hair.


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[Assistant] You know, it's like a lot of that. And he's like, I mean, I'm one of the most famous shows on, he's one of the most famous shows ever on television. And all he gets now is, what year did you graduate high school?


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[Assistant] Were you in my grade? Like that's all people think? Yeah.


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[Assistant] And he goes, nah, I was on Boy Meets World, we won an Oscar for it. Uhm, Mark Maxwell.


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[Assistant] Wherefore out thou Romeo, though?


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[Assistant] Art thou, wherefore art thou? Romeo means, why are you Romeo?


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[Assistant] It's literally meaning is that Juliet is agonized to think that Romeo is a house of Montauk. Is it Montauk? Montague. Huh?


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[Assistant] She agonized to think that Romeo's house of Montagu.


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[Assistant] And painfully wishes him to have been from some other family, Aaron Lane going strong. I don't even understand that sentence, any of it. I don't think I could, I don't think I could talk to Mark Maxwell. I think we would be, we'd have trouble. I think he would end up, our night would end up, he would just throw popcorn in my mouth.


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[Assistant] Such a ridiculous question though. I mean, an insane, like what if Romeo just said-


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[Assistant] Okay, so then he is supposedly, Romeo, get a little heads up, your wife's going to be a nutso.


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[Assistant] There's no more like, alright, I'm sorry. Like, I mean, he's acting like, uh, he had a choice.


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[Assistant] I don't think she brought it up after they got married and had a couple of kids.


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[Assistant] He faked his death to get out of it. He did. He's doing fine. We see a picture of him and Tupac together.


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[Assistant] On the topic of Cliff's notes, my older brother and I had a little business when we were in college together. We could, we would find out which classes allowed note cards during exams, check which chapters would be covered in the exams, and then hand write entire chapters on five, eight note cards. I could fit three to four lines of text within one line on the card.


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[Assistant] We have the lawnmowers. Uh, I, uh, I can hear, I don't know if y'all can hear them, but I heard lawnmowers.


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[Assistant] But I like that kind of thing to me with that, with that, what he did is like better than school.


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[Assistant] Like weird, like weirdly you go, the fact that you guys figured that out and then sold it, I bet you're doing better than...


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[Assistant] Even if you'd be like, well they cheated on the test, you're like, it doesn't even really matter.


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[Assistant] Not saying you want kids to cheat, but it's like the idea. It's not cheating though. I mean it is exactly cheating. You're writing down, you're not taking the exam, you're writing down the chapters on the notecard.


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[Assistant] Yeah, but they don't give the notecard going like, but you gotta swear you're not gonna be writing down all the chapters. I don't think the teacher would be thrilled about it.


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[Assistant] Yeah, I don't think I ever did any of this stuff. This could be why I had trouble in school. That or the dyslexia. Uh, that we still haven't figured out. I gotta go to that school. What if, dude, if I had to figure it out, I'd do it. They're like, you haven't. That would make moat so much sense.


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[Assistant] No, it's like, Romeo, I'm already too far. It's like, what are we going to do? We already made it this far. Can you fix it? I don't think you need to.


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[Assistant] You got fixed. I don't think they can fix you. Just a boring guy. He just hit me in the head with a bat. I walk out of there like...


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[Assistant] I totally agree with movies not sticking. I was so excited when the movie Boston Strangler was going to be on TV. That's a hilarious movie.


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[Assistant] I planned my whole evening around it, then in the first five minutes I realized I had already seen it. I wish I'd either, I'd either remembered the movie or not, then it would be new every time. What Boston Strangler movie?


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[Assistant] I love. I mean, there's nothing better than waiting. Wait, like, you have to wait for everything.


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[Assistant] That's something that kids are, they, they don't, that's gone and that I wish they had. Waiting, you have to wait for everything. Can't wait till...


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[Assistant] Cameron Clark, I think Nate blew Aaron's mind a little bit when he asked why he even used a bank if he was negative eight dollars. That laugh was the laugh of realization.


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[Assistant] They're like, oh yeaah, here comes Big Spinny walking with that jacket. Check his ID! That's all you hear. You know a check cashing place is not called a bank. That's where you don't think you're going.


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[Assistant] John Armstrong, listening to Aaron's story about ripping the gas pump out and then casually putting it back.


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[Assistant] Probably had gas spilling out all over his car. Very true. Nah, I checked on it. You stayed? No, I didn't. Did you watch?


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[Assistant] He didn't like pull to like the next door business and just sit like a private detective and just kind of watch what's going on.


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[Assistant] But. That's true. I think. Clearly. I think the other person's like snick. God damn.


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[Assistant] And then he's like, I don't know how this thing, he's like breaking bad. He goes, and the pump was when he's trying to.


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[Assistant] William Roberts, don't get me wrong, I love the constant banner between the three of them. Three of them.


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[Assistant] However, it was cool to see Nate's genuine excitement listen to Aaron and Bartleby experience shooting a TV show that will actually be aired. Keep up the good work, gentlemen. Alright, that started off where I was like, oh boy.


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[Assistant] And then it was very sweet. Uh, have you talked to Greg?


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[Assistant] Did he say anything how we did? Uh, he said that, uh, y'all did, he said, I did text him, he said y'all did great. Yeah, he said y'all did great. I don't think you're beyond, but you did great. Uh, they're going a different direction.


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[Assistant] That's what it's G-O-L-L-I-H-E-R. Golly her. Golly her. Kobe golly her. Get in here. Dead gummit. Dead gummit. Middle name dead gummit. Kobe dead gummit golly her.


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[Assistant] In change, we have 1s, 5s, 10s, 25s, and the rare 50s in dollars.


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[Assistant] And bills, we most, we most often use ones, fives, tens, twenties, fifties and one hundreds. Why would that, why would they not be the same? That was my point. Yeah.


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[Assistant] When we were in high school and had zero dollars, my friend came up with a brilliant scheme.


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[Assistant] The bank in the grocery store offered $60 to open an account, so we all stood in line and opened an account, promptly asked to pull out the $60, then asked to please close the account. I don't know what they were thinking, but I was $60 richer.


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[Assistant] That's so funny. I mean, that had to be, so that bank was like, alright, they had a meeting the next week. Next week, they're like, alright guys, we lost $240 with that.


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[Assistant] Did y'all ever think that through? Whose idea was that? Whose idea was that? No one wants the same thing. Yeah. Well, you owe me $240. That dumb idea. That's, that's a great, I love that they thought of that. That would be smart too. Bryce Hockenberry.


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[Assistant] Who else checked the description just to see if they actually timestamped Joe's comments?


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[Assistant] I think a lot of people did. Yeah, we did, right? Yep. No response from Joe? Not at this... Not at this moment. Not that I've seen.


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[Assistant] Is that how you would say that? My wife and I went for a monthly date night dinner. I guess so.


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[Assistant] I guess they're saying they're moving to dinner. And they're going to talk more about dinner. Okay.


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[Assistant] That's a sentence that messes me up. My wife and I went out.


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[Assistant] My cousin and my uncle went out. I'm like, I'm off.


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[Assistant] The waiter came to our table and said, hello folks. My heart filled with joy. He took our drink order and proceeded to tell us the specials of the night. To see if he was a true fan, I asked him who his source was after he finished telling us the specials.


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[Assistant] In his best Nate voice, he said, our manager, Bob Ripplepants.


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[Assistant] How funny is that? I gave him a high five and he walked away.


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[Assistant] The look on my wife's face was like watching a car rap cause she had no clue what the heck just happened. Keep up the greatest average podcast. That's a, you know, that's one of my, that is date night dinner.


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[Assistant] That is so good, like the hell of, like cause it is, that's what's so fun about it, is like people can, you know, you take a risk.


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[Assistant] I mean, yeah, I love the risks that we're all, you have to put out. Like I love someone goes, hello folks. And you gotta get, you have to say something like, you have to say what's your source. That's even like, and the guy could be like, I don't know what you're talking about.


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[Assistant] I love the danger that you get put in. I mean the non-important danger.


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[Assistant] But just the awkward danger that you get put in with a, you get to go, let's go folks. And they're like, god, get out of here, dude. And people just say it. Alright.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Now is the time to celebrate. The first NFL Sunday of the season is about to kick off and DraftKings, the official Daily Fantasy partner of the NFL, is putting you in the center of this weekend action.


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[Assistant] Only at DraftKings, the official daily fantasy partner of the NFL. Minimum $5 required. Eligibility restrictions apply. See DraftKings.com for details and uh, go Titans. Go Titans.


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[Assistant] Uh, also we like to talk, uh, to our friends when we are getting through, uh, like we all like to talk. We like to talk on this podcast. You want to talk to your friends. They don't always give the best advice. Our advice is all they don't listen to. Maybe they have their own problems. You want neutral feedback and advice from a licensed professional.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Be able to talk about it. You always have this stuff. Everybody needs help. It's good to sometimes help. It will help you. It helps your family. It helps your relationship. I promise all that stuff. It's just nice to be able to talk to someone so you don't have to talk to, uh, I don't know, so you can get stuff off your chest. That's not a, it's a good thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you, uh, you're gonna love Talkspace, they make it so easy to match with licensed therapists to schedule live video sessions, all from the comfort of your device. You can start messaging your therapist the same day you sign up.


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[Assistant] Whether you're experiencing depression, anxiety, or other problems, I mean you have trouble flying. I mean all this stuff.


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[Assistant] Talkspace is the number one online therapy platform to help you sort through any issue. They have thousands of licensed therapists are available for you to match with.


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[Assistant] Uh, start feeling better with a single message. Match with the licensed therapist when you go to Talkspace.com. Get $100 off your first month with the promo code Nate. That's $100 off when you use code Nate at Talkspace.com. Finally, Mack Weldon.


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[Assistant] Uh, you're a busy guy, so stop thinking about what to wear and just embrace the radically efficient Mack Weldon daily wear system. Daily wear system is a selection of clothes rooted in smart design.


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[Assistant] I got told that from a year ago. That's what my guy said. He goes, look at your nipples. They don't point to the ground. I was wearing Mack Weldon when I worked out. Uh, their socks are great. Uh, I wear their underwear, their boxers for golfers when it's super hot. They have like, they're awesome because they're just very light. Uh,


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[Assistant] For the ultimate lazy Sunday, they have A sweat shorts, have modern tailoring and pair perfectly with their ultra soft, ultra upgrade Pima.


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[Assistant] Uh, for weekend travels, both near and far, the silver knit polo and radius shorts are the perfect high tech, high packable combo. Buy sometime this summer with the Mack Whelan's daily wear system.


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[Assistant] 20% off your first order, visit mackweldon.com slash nate and enter promo code nate. That's mackweldon.com slash nate. Promo code nate for 20% off Mack Weldon. Radically efficient wardrobe. Alright, we'll be right back.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Welcome everybody. We're very, very excited, uh, for this guest. I've put my jacket on. This is a big one, dude.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. Crazy, huh? Big fan of the podcast. May have used it tight and it would have worked out. You know everything about that?


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[Assistant] Do you sit there and ever, don't you have to stay in shape? Like what if you get called? Me? Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I would love that to be your thing on ESPN. You're like, I guys, I just got a lot on my plate right now, to be honest.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How is that very comfortable with uh, men naked? Is that, you have to become, like that's just men naked all the time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, it'd be a funny sketch I thought of that you could do for your, uh, for Uncut. Uh, and Jay's got a great podcast. I was the second episode, very honored to be the second episode. Uh, Uncut, right? Uncut with Jay Cutler. That's on everything. It's better than, it's doing better than this podcast already.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, you just, you're, you're, it's going to be great. It's going to, you're going to love it because it's, it's look, I, when I started this one, I didn't know. I mean, I do, I taught for a living. And so, uh, but I didn't know, a lot of people do podcasts and you're like, I don't know if I want to do it, but what I've really, really enjoyed it. And it's nice to.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, I don't know for me, it makes it, you're funnier, you're thinking more, you're just like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And they can see your personality. Everybody thinks you're not fun.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I think we're very similar in that like kind of low key, not like super animated, not, you know, just kind of easy. If I played football, I think I would have, they'd think the same thing. You're like, he doesn't care. So like, I love everything.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This guy hates his jokes. They're like, they think all this stuff and you're like, no, I'm having an awesome time. I just don't.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's what makes it, you know, funny is you don't, and I tell these jokes every night. I hear them. They're all good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We have, uh, I didn't have a picture of you over there, uh, in that top right hand corner.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just cause your signature. So you can tell when it's fake? Do you tell anybody how? I don't think you should.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What if you're like, I'm left handed? And that's how you do it. You go, it's a big one. Is it, when you sign, I can notice, would you ever get, does your signature change? I mean, y'all have to sign like thousands of balls.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's good though. That's, I like that you can tell the signature too, if you could tell if it's real or not. Would you even remember when that would have been? I mean, obviously at Denver, but like would you? That was, that was my rookie year.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, that football is flat. I think that might be, that's a Vanderbilt football. Uh, I got a lot of Vanderbilt stuff. Helmet.


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[Assistant] Uh, I saw it, uh, I haven't looked at it so, so much, but uh, I liked it. I saw the uniforms and stuff. I think I liked it. Is it the gold? Uh, what did they change?


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[Assistant] What were you looking at the other day? Like it was like, it's just stuff that gets nowhere. See, I need this on my podcast. I need like a Google person. Oh, yeah. Yeah. That's what you learn. Then you can type it in. Yeah.


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[Assistant] No, he would, he would go in and it was like, uh, he's used to doing like fax machines and stuff.


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[Assistant] Aaron took it. So do y'all have it, when y'all take the uniform pictures, is that like a whole day?


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[Assistant] I like it. I like the stripes on the shoulders. I like the stripes. The V is, I don't know. The V is a little different. I actually kind of like it, but I don't, I mean, people don't like to change, you know, the gloves. It's like, it's, uh, no, I like it. I mean, it's fine. I love the stripes on the shoulders.


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[Assistant] So when they show y'all Monday Night Football and you're the moving person, that's gotta be kinda awkward.


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[Assistant] And so you have to do it every game. They don't like one video.


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[Assistant] Yeah, exactly the same. I do, when you go, I do it, I go, what do you want? Yeah. What in your mind?


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[Assistant] We, the, the little bit, when you do a special, you have to take a bunch of pictures. And, uh, so they would usually do it like right before the special and you gotta go and like the dudes like, alright, do this. And there's all this stuff that you learn. You know, I just learned it, uh,


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[Assistant] Yeah, tongue to the roof of the mouth. Tongue to the roof of the mouth. And then I just learned that, uh, and so like there's little stuff like that, that, you know, so like people that know how to take pictures. That's why I always think modeling is kind of crazy because they, they have to like, it's hard to look.


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[Assistant] Cause when I go and do those pictures of the specials, like you just sit there and you start moving and they're like, you know, the guy's like, I mean, it's just every picture is the same picture. And he's like, I get it. All right. And like, when I go and then they send them to you and they're like, what do you think? I go, I don't, I don't even care. Yeah, I don't care. Just put whatever out.


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[Assistant] And then they usually pick one and you're like, well that's the worst one I've ever seen. And then you go, well let me see them now cause apparently you don't know what I look like. And that's awful. And like, I think it's good.


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[Assistant] I don't think anybody looks at it. I don't think they care. I think for, uh, you know, like I've learned that with comedy.


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[Assistant] We are like, we get on posters. One of the best, the best poster I've ever did was a picture of me holding my nephew when he was born.


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[Assistant] And so then they just cropped my nephew out and I'm like.


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[Assistant] Oh, so Aaron just looks the part. Oh, oh, okay. I respect it. He respects it and he loves to look.


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[Assistant] He's like a fan, he's like a guy wearing a bear, a bear's uniform. Oh, so you just buy cameras.


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[Assistant] Oh, I always, I do remember like deer season.


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[Assistant] I mean I never did it, but I just remember the guys that did it. It was a thing that they were like, season starts today.


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[Assistant] Bow hunting is that, well that's the most like real, like that's the intimate, you know, uh.


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[Assistant] Well, we, we want to talk about, uh, you are from Santa Claus, Indiana.


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[Assistant] Funny story I found out yesterday, my parents went there for their honeymoon. Really?


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[Assistant] No, so my dad, so they, my parents, they got married, uh, they were in their twenties, uh, and they just had no money. And so their, their vacation was to go, uh,


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[Assistant] So they drove, they, they, they said they went there, they got there, it was in November. And, uh, as they pull up, there's a big snowstorm, everything shuts down. They basically, they stayed one night and left. Well, there's nothing that


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[Assistant] I mean, what year was this? 1970, when did they get, uh, 1120? So 1970, uh, when did they get married? Uh, I know when they got married on November 20th, I can never remember.


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[Assistant] They had to leave because they had to go to, they, my parents are from Louisville, Kentucky and so then they had to drive, uh, they just drove to Kentucky basically after they got there and just, I thought they went to Metropolis, which is, where's Metropolis? Is that Indiana? It's Kentucky.


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[Assistant] Superman once. Uh, the guy they based it off of.


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[Assistant] Are the rumors great? Well, we have kids listening, so let's not go, you know, just remember that. Do a lot of kids listen to this, you think?


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[Assistant] I think so. We're not very high level podcasts. Educate. I mean, I talk below.


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[Assistant] That's very funny, he's like go to Santa Fe, the most unoriginal name.


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[Assistant] To then go, we gotta be original and they go, all right, I'll take it up a notch. How about Santa Claus? You're like, yeah, you're definitely the only one of that. Boom. Boom. You did it. Take that post office.


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[Assistant] Santa Fe. Santa Fe. Imagine if you were from Santa Fe, Indiana. I think I'd like it better. Really? I think so.


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[Assistant] Heritage, did y'all have any? Yep, that exact, that exact one.


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[Assistant] When you start, when you start making it, does Bob Greasy like call you early, like when you go to Vandy? Like, so you are just, like, is it like, oh dude, you're from Santa Claus, like I'm from Santa Claus? No, I've never, I don't think I've ever, I've never talked to Bob Greasy. Well, you brought him here now.


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[Assistant] Oh yeaah, this one, uh, they really want to make you all tight ends over there.


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[Assistant] Well, him and Brian and Dale were. Where's Plainfield, Indiana?


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[Assistant] That's uh, Valpo, would you have went to school at Valpo? Did they go to Valpo? You're like family or?


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[Assistant] You think it's like a basketball? I mean, you're like, ah, it's a pretty good, they're like Larry Bird is like from India and you're like, no, they don't, they can't read. It says bumpkin.


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[Assistant] Book. Book. Yeah, he's a book guy. He wears camouflage just to kind of, this is what he thinks poor people dress like. So he wears that just to fit in and he goes, this is what they wear, right? What did you study at Notre Dame?


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[Assistant] We talked about philosophy here. It's all kind of ridiculous. Really? Yeaah. What'd you study at Vandy?


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[Assistant] Yeaah, I took speech at Vol- Volunteer State Community College. For a couple of weeks. Same thing? Yeaah, all the same. Yeaah. That's as good as a communications degree from Vanderbilt. Same thing. Same thing. I told them that and I talked to my speech class, told them 95 Vanderbilt season, we went 5 and 6, I showed the highlight reel.


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[Assistant] That was my favorite. It was, uh, you were my favorite, Corey Chavis, before you was my all-time favorite, uh, Vanity player. Uh, I had a football signed by him and that, the signature is, I need to get Corey Chavis' autograph again.


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[Assistant] Could arena, would arena football be, could you play arena football? Or is it like so weird?


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[Assistant] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Cause it just would be really fun, cause it's like weird.


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[Assistant] Uh, I haven't seen it on TV. I haven't seen it on TV in a while. I don't know. It used to be big.


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[Assistant] Yeah, well, yeah, we, I went to Nashville Cats, the way we talked about it. The only game I've ever been to is their championship game they lost.


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[Assistant] I think my dad can beat you up. And you're like, alright, can we get him?


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[Assistant] Is that, like, when you get, like, cause you then, cause that was the big thing was, uh, as a big Bobby Johnson fan. Like Bobby Johnson did more for Vanderbilt than I think we gave him credit for at the time. And then as you saw all of you guys kind of come out of that, you're like, oh, this dude was like the real deal.


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[Assistant] But like, do y'all get like super motivated when you don't get recruited by someone? And then you're like, and then you get to Vandy and you're like, well I'm gonna show you all that.


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[Assistant] Cause you're going to these schools and you're like, none of y'all wanted me. And then after your first year, they're like, well they would all take you now.


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[Assistant] But I mean, the largest, longest? Largest. One day sporting event. 250,000. Who else would?


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[Assistant] I don't, I don't, I think they're under 100 or 200. I mean, they're pretty close, but I mean, that, the Indy 500, is that around the...


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[Assistant] It's a track. It's a track, right? It's not through the streets. But you said you've been to the track. I've been there. It's an oval. It's a NASCAR race. It's an oval. It's like a square, right? I think it's an oval. Yeah. I think they make it. They turn the blinker on. Because it's a sharp turn. I know everybody makes that joke about the day.


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[Assistant] Uh, we went to a NASCAR race a long time ago, uh, the Brickyard, and then I did.


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[Assistant] But I've been to the brickyard and then, uh, same track, same track. And then they, uh, and so we got to re my buddy, Tommy Hall went and like did his, he'd like his wife's dad worked for NASCAR or something. So we got to drive around the track.


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[Assistant] And we drove around it. I mean, very reasonable, slow, nothing crazy. It was at the end of the race.


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[Assistant] The, my neighbor Felix, you met him earlier. You were talking about him. They, uh, I drove, we one time we went to Charles, uh. Is this as good as the?


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[Assistant] I don't know, we're going to find out. Uh, Richmond, Richmond, the Richmond race. No idea. And we, whatever NASCAR race is in Richmond and the gate was open and we just drove our regular cars around it. Really? And then soon came and they were pretty, they got pretty mad about it.


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[Assistant] What, how fast were you going? Not fast at all, cause we were like, it was like, there was like potholes and stuff. Really? Yeah.


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[Assistant] We'll run down. Maybe that's why it was open. I'll be honest with you, maybe it wasn't that one. The Richmond Raceway? I don't, maybe...


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[Assistant] I was in someone's driveway. I was like, maybe that's what they get. It was a family. You know what? That was a family that ran out. You know what turns out? Someone's house. Uh, it wasn't that exciting. Maybe. What's the largest crowd you've ever played in front of?


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[Assistant] When the receivers take off running a little bit early, is that a sign we're not a part of this play?


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[Assistant] You always see it as like how funny it would be like, God, why are they stopping us? So you're like, hey guys, I don't know, maybe receivers don't take off running. Basically they walk away and they go.


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[Assistant] So part of it is like, they don't know maybe you're a part of it. That's the trick. And then they just, cause you always see them run off. Yeah. Would you see the veiny game? Like, would you notice us? Cause we would just be us. It's four of us.


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[Assistant] Yeah, yeah. Well, I, I get, I see the shock of the high school to SEC. And then the shock of SEC to, you saw, you played against those people.


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[Assistant] And then you're like, yeah, and that's true. I never thought of that. Where you're like, yeah, well my 11 guys are just as good as your 11 guys. So you're at least like.


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[Assistant] You know, it's quicker and stuff like that, but it's, it's uh,


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[Assistant] That was a gap. He, yeah, you got, yeah, I mean it was tough. You'd get sacked a ton, uh, and it was just, I mean, I remember you'd get just killed.


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[Assistant] In some stuff, but we did good. I got a DVD. I'm gonna get you to sign this DVD, too, of the 2006 I watch it every night.


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[Assistant] That's what they had made it about. First they go, what's this about? They go, all right, well, we don't need shoes for this film. And then they, you know, feed y'all hay.


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[Assistant] Would they show it to y'all in like elementary school?


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[Assistant] Well, when you look into a Rudy and you're like, wasn't it like the real story Rudy's like, you can't do that.


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[Assistant] Yeah, but Hoosiers is a made up movie. Okay. So that's what I mean. Like, so the Rudy one is... No, Hoosiers isn't made up. Oh, it's not?


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[Assistant] Yeah, but it, but it, like to be the voice of, like Rudy was the voice, right? I think I would know my place and I would like just back off and they gave me a shot. People would be happy.


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[Assistant] Like I'd be the, you know, when they throw the kid out there, you see that vein in basketball, you always see like the seniors have been there the whole time and they didn't go play any game, they get a start. He hauled the goalpost when he was in high school down West End. We beat Duke. Really?


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[Assistant] It's such a funny, but we beat South Carolina the week before and it was our first SEC win we've had. So this was, when was that? 95? And then so it was our first SEC win.


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[Assistant] And so, uh, we tried to take the goalpost down that day, but the Titans were playing the next week. So they were like, you can't. And I mean, literally one guy told us no. Okay.


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[Assistant] Yeah. It was nobody. Like there was like a guy just kind of near it. He's like, guys, do you mind? We've got a Titans game tomorrow. We go, yeah, that makes sense. And then we all just went home and then, uh,


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[Assistant] And then we beat Duke the next week and then we took it. And I remember I was like in high school and I'm carrying it. We carry it out of the tunnel and we take it to some fraternity house and they go, just put it in the yard. And I laid it down and then I was like.


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[Assistant] I'm 35 years old. I was at least in high school. So there, I graduated in 97. So, uh, but they, uh, yeah, it was.


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[Assistant] It was very funny though to be like, we did it against Duke, and it's crazy too because Duke was terrible.


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[Assistant] And now, I mean, Duke's gotten a lot better. Uh. Okay. Yeah. Who was, I used to always say, I always thought our first SEC win would be Alabama. Cause that's how bad Alabama used to be.


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[Assistant] And, uh, that's always crazy to me because they're so good now.


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[Assistant] And it was like, before, they were terrible. And you're like, dude, we could beat Alabama. Dude, you beat Alabama? Or they already turned? They already turned.


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[Assistant] Did, uh, when you like throw, like is the mechanics of throwing, is it like all like, is it just kind of a feel thing? Like you're just like, I'll just throw it. Like you're, you know what I mean?


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[Assistant] So like, alright, like in golf, super mechanic, golf is very mechanical, right? So you got to think of like all these kinds of different moves.


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[Assistant] Just come in, you have to wear an extra big, your, your shoulder pads gonna go up a little bit farther, and they're like, oh god, here comes Jenny, he's like.


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[Assistant] He leaves his shirt on and we go in and go. It's 2021. Yeah, yeah. Everybody's cool with it. It's perfectly fine. Everybody's cool with it. Darn, that's what I...


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[Assistant] Oh yeaah. I met, uh, the guy. Which guy? The kid, the main kid. Ralphie? Ralphie. Yeaah, he might be moving here. Why? Uh, I, I, I don't know. Uh, he's a, uh, what does he do now? He's, uh, yeaah.


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[Assistant] Yeah. The other, God, is it him? No. Yeah. I met him. Is he an attorney? Yeah. No, there was another guy. The guy, the kid from Goonies is an attorney. Yeah. Entertainment. Yeah. He's a good lawyer. Uh, or entertainment lawyer, but he's the fat kid from Goonies.


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[Assistant] Yeah, they get into, they get out of acting and then they get into like, you know, still somewhat in the entertainment world.


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[Assistant] That does a good VP. Like that's a good state of y'all in Indiana where you're like, look, we ain't trying to be all up in everybody's business. We're good at what we do. Happy to be second. Happy number two. Yeah. Number two, their nickname is second best Miami dolphin from Santa Claus. Yeah.


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[Assistant] It said the question at the top. Oh.


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[Assistant] Yeaah. That's a big confusing place.


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[Assistant] It's not Mr. Beast. It's not Mr. Beast. I mean, he watches children and stuff. Would you play in the game on Roblox?


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[Assistant] Is that where you, where you got ticked off, or you got tipped off to it? In the chat on Roblox, going to adopt me? How's this ghost town going these days?


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[Assistant] Like if you make it like a real salon and like people would go stay there.


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[Assistant] I don't know, look it up. You can look up how to make bathrooms.


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[Assistant] Yeaah, I think it's Batesville, or what's the other, what's another cast company? I don't know.


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[Assistant] Yeaah. The reason I'm telling that is my last, my last name is Bates. Oh. Yeaah, thanks Jay, probably wanted to know that.


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[Assistant] Yeah, the Batesville podcast has often made it fun of this show. I don't like anybody was at home going. No one except maybe Jay, who...


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[Assistant] Oh, they have a great, I think, uh, I think I've heard it is a big golf course there. Is that this one? Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh wow. French look resort. Yeah. Yeah. It's crazy. Uh, yes.


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[Assistant] I talk about Larry Bird every day. I remember, uh, doing the Larry Bird. Someone said, uh,


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[Assistant] I can't, I'm blanking on his name, he's a comedian. But he talked about when he watched Larry Bird, like 30 for 30 or something, him getting hurt. Yea, look at this thing. Look at that thing. Yea, it's an enormous.


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[Assistant] Carrying like seaman or something, like he's like doing his own driveway.


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[Assistant] And uh, and like, he was picking it up and it got too heavy. It's so funny to be like, me, he's a million, I mean, he's a millionaire at that point. You're like, just hire some, Larry.


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[Assistant] We need, you're the greatest ever. And like, he just shows up, he's like, my back hurts. You're like, cause you picked up, cause you redid your driveway, dude.


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[Assistant] Yeah, I mean it's a, uh, amazing, y'all have a roller coaster. What was the park you said earlier?


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[Assistant] Young Jay and his friends are on their bicycles in the middle of the road and just swing off in there.


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[Assistant] The days, it's so funny to think about the days of like your parents could send you to a theme park.


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[Assistant] And just go, and you go, how are we going to get there? We're going to ride a bike on a road. And we'll be back maybe 15 hours.


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[Assistant] Change it up. That was a problem. Dude, now they might have the machines where you get a pick. I'm sure they do. You drink soda? No.


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[Assistant] Yes, I mean growing up. Yeah, sure. Grew out of it. Grew out of it. Decided. And now you don't drink it at all? No. It's really good, man.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Something to cut the air on or what? You know? I went Gary Indiana.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wait a minute, did you ever see those memes of you with a cigarette? How fun are those? Super fun.


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[Assistant] I don't know. But it was very, it was very funny.


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[Assistant] But you know what you always think about? That is the most comfortable way. Everybody holds their- Oh, I think he's just doing a signal.


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[Assistant] Did uh, I always think holding your pads though, very comfortable. That is.


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[Assistant] Did you, when you put your feet in those heater things, did that really help?


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[Assistant] And it pops. I guess it's like pop, more popable. You put it in a bag. It just pops. And shove it in the bag and then you go microwave it. Microwave it, yea.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's making corn, but I thought popcorn is, don't you pop the seat?


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[Assistant] The first scene, he's popping a can and you go, oh, let me move this to Georgia. Then they go, they never addressed it. They never like really have to say it. They go, everybody gets it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, uh, who, uh, Damon Wayans, his sitcom, his daughter changed?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think it was Damon. The Wayman Brothers? The Wayan Brothers. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Damon had a sitcom on like CBS. Oh, just him? Or something. It was like his family. It was like a family sitcom. And so his daughter changed, uh, in the middle of it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] She walked downstairs and he goes, guy, you look different today. And then they just kept going. It was like very good. Like it was just like, we all address it and then we moved on.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Did you play baseball in high school? Aren't you all state in basketball too?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, cause you're just like, yeah, I mean, if you're an athlete, if you're an athlete and make it to NFL, you could probably play.


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[Assistant] Like all of them could kind of play. Could LeBron play in the NBA? Like, I mean the NFL? I don't think so. You don't?


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[Assistant] He can figure it out. Like you guys can all figure it out.


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[Assistant] It's a lot to get hit. Yeah, it's not fun. It's not fun. And it's, you're getting hit by the strongest person ever. Who hit the hardest?


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[Assistant] Went down. I'll go down too. I'm not gonna try to fight ya. And then, it's called a day. We're all good here. We're all good. Let's go to the next play. Did you ever get hit by Brian Erlacher? Was he still the best?


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[Assistant] Oh, so that, yeah, when he was in Chicago, when y'all both were on Chicago, they would never.


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[Assistant] In practice? No. That's why as a quarterback you just gotta do.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We're already at eight, Jay. You might as well do, if you were new, you're at eight sacks. Is, is the most, whatever, it's the most. You're not the most ever, right? No. Would you ever? Maybe for half.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's, it's a mix of like, you want to be like, yo dude, just let us be 90 to zero. We're already at zero. And they're like, but just let us score. You're like, mm.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh my god. I mean, there was not... Decent season. Zionsville was a tight game. That's the championship game. Championship game was a tight one. But other than that, it was 79-0. I mean, you're already a nightmare team.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That was your senior year? Yep. Wow. And do you know, like, it's just like a fun, is that just like, do you think back, is that like your funnest memories? Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] With your friends, your guys. Your best friends, yeaah. It doesn't get business-y. No, it doesn't get business-y at all. Yeaah. I get that. I was thinking about going back to New York. When I first started comedy in New York, you're like, this is not a better time. I wanna go back.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Chuckie at the bottom, hand out the flyers real good. Hey, we got a great comedy show tonight. Uh, alright, is there anything else? That's pretty much it. That's pretty much it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Thanks, sir. Uh, all right. Well, uh, anything uncut? Yes, sir. Uncut with Jay Keller? Yep. Uh, great podcast. Just started it. You're doing great. It's going to come together. Hopefully. Might not fall apart. We'll see what happens. Yeah, that's the attitude.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's only been two people with their fists bumped and most don't. Really? Yea.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, all right. Thank you guys. Follow Jay on everything, Instagram, Twitter, all this stuff. And, uh, listen to this podcast and we'll see you next week.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then I ate a nice meal for lunch. And then I put on baseball. It's the perfect storm. It is the perfect storm. It's going to knock me out.


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[Assistant] I feel good. I'm ready to go, dude. I'm about to kill this.


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[Assistant] Have you ever seen the clip of Liam Neeson and Ricky Travace? Yea. Yea. Yea. Where he does, he does that exactly.


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[Assistant] That's too short. You're a hypochondriac at the doctor. Oh, you didn't think I'd know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Nate Bargesi's transformation from youth pastor to pastor.


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[Assistant] I mean that's crazy. Did you have trouble learning how to read when you were in school?


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[Assistant] Do you often have to read something two or three times before it makes sense?


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[Assistant] Do you omit, transpose, or add letters when reading or writing?


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[Assistant] Do you find you still have spelling mistakes in your writing even after using spell check?


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[Assistant] Do you find it difficult to pronounce uncommon multi-syllable words when you are reading? I mean, I'll answer that one. Do you choose to read magazines or short articles rather than books and novels?


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[Assistant] When you were in school, did you find it extremely difficult to learn a foreign language?


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[Assistant] Do you avoid work projects or courses that require extensive reading?


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[Assistant] Did you have trouble learning how to read when you were in school? Alright, I was being nice on some of these.


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[Assistant] Alright man. You know Rudy had dyslexia. Did he? He did.


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[Assistant] That's not even worth looking into. I wouldn't. I haven't even checked to see if I have gout. It's been a year.


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[Assistant] To me, the guy that yells get in the hole is the guy that yells free bird at a band.


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[Assistant] Where they think it's so original and clever and funny, but everyone else is like, God, I've heard that million times. And it's very annoying.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The ideal way to diagnose gout is to draw fluid out of the joint and have the fluid examined. Well, I can't do that on the podcast.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You, you, it's like SimCity, I'm guessing, where you just build it, but there's a mode where you can take the perspective of.


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[Assistant] Somebody going to the park and we're kind of walking around that you see Zanies is there in the background.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's a planet fitness. Isn't this crazy? That's crazy.


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[Assistant] Yeah, this is awesome. Look at that. We're on the marquee outside Zany's.


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[Assistant] Run a roller coaster now going around. I mean, the amount of detail and thought that went into this is pretty amazing.


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[Assistant] So this is really cool. Thank you. Who, who is it that sent this in?


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[Assistant] I would hope so dude. They've saved millions of lives.


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[Assistant] Well a lot of these guys that make discoveries in medicine, they elect not to.


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[Assistant] Yeah. When you hear people did that, where they're like, yeah, I'll just make it available to everybody.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But it can also be the incentive for people to do research and find stuff out if you know that you're going to be able to make money from it. So it's like, it's a, it's a, it's a balance.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh yeaah. Oh yeaah. All the time. Yeaah. Cialis, Viagra. Yeaah. I remember seeing like Rafael Palmeiro.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I think Tino Martinez and all these baseball players start to do Viagra commercials early on.


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[Assistant] I was looking the other day, uh, uh, if you look at Barry Bonds, the, the, the size of his head, because that was introduced in those, in those testimonies.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Was how his hat size changed throughout the year. I mean, look at this picture, look at what he started. I mean, just his head is so different.


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[Assistant] I think he went up like a half a hat size throughout, you know, and that just doesn't happen to people. Your head just doesn't get half a hat size bigger.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] As you get older, you know, it's just shaped completely different.


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[Assistant] Can you pretend that these guys didn't dominate the sport for decades?


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[Assistant] Yeah. I've never heard that perspective before. That's interesting.


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[Assistant] What? How do you? People, I mean, almost everyone I talked to about this, they're like, ah, who cares? Just let him in. He's the best ever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. You know, but I've never really thought about what he was accused of doing and what he did.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I hope the microwave family's doing well too.


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[Assistant] Wow. So he was very, very young when he discovered this, but.


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[Assistant] He deserves it. God knows I use his product a lot.


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[Assistant] I don't know how it works. It's hot as an oven, but you can open it up immediately.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] All right, let's look it up. Here we go. Uh, jokes about microwaves.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What's the difference between a microwave sweet potato and a throne pig?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] One is a heated yam, the other is a yeeted ham.


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[Assistant] Yeah, it's like going to the, the, the dentist and they, yeah, they make you snort a line of cocaine. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, but you ever see a guy given like a speech at something and you're like, you hope they're coming to it and then they flip, they have another page and you're.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You think all the founding fathers, those guys are all around before they knew about dinosaurs. Does that change the way you think about them?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. Well, it makes you think what, what are we blissfully unaware of? Aliens. Aliens. Yeah. Well, we are aware of them maybe.


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[Assistant] Barely. Barely. Not in the way that we are now of dinosaurs.


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[Assistant] Yeah. Yeah, I know. I'm yeah. 50 50 on to begin with.


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[Assistant] The argument, it doesn't make sense that his big argument is they didn't have the word until it was discovered. It's like, yeah, usually they didn't have any words. Usually you find out that something exists before you give it a name. Usually that's


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. There wasn't a word for sky until 10,000 years ago.


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[Assistant] A dove is a, ironically a dinosaur too. Birds.


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[Assistant] Yeah, but it's one of those things that if, if that wasn't the case and I had said it so confidently, I would have felt like an idiot. So I needed to cover my bases.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Really? Yeah. Like the main one. I think we touched on this a little bit.


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[Assistant] In the, when we were talking about Bigfoot, but, but it was one of those creatures that had been kind of like seen and people thought it was a myth.


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[Assistant] And then it wasn't confirmed that it's a real thing until the early 1900s. 1908 I think you said? 1902.


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[Assistant] It's not generally agreed upon. Yeah, I mean, it looks like the same thing.


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[Assistant] So Rebecca, imagine, okay, so imagine you're in the, you're hanging out in the jungle. You see that thing and you have to explain that.


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[Assistant] You've never seen anything like that. You have to explain. It's a monster. You're going to sound like somebody describing Bigfoot. For sure.


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[Assistant] You think did they catch one and bring it, bring it into the town?


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[Assistant] I know, yeaah, it does. Take it very sweet. Yeaah, his sweetness and kindness like transcends the human race.


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[Assistant] This is right after dinosaurs have been kind of, uh, talked about, right?


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[Assistant] So then you show, imagine showing up with Komodo dragons. And everyone's like, these dinosaurs used to exist. So then they're like, nah, some of them are still around.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't, no one cares. Pirates? Yea, probably a scurvy. Like this guy's not healthy.


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[Assistant] Yeah, it's bizarre, it's bizarre.


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[Assistant] I think he's a couple years younger than me. He's like mid to late twenties now. Maybe 25, 26.


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[Assistant] I didn't know, I didn't know he was that young either. I thought he was at least my age. I thought he was 40.


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[Assistant] And all through high school and stuff, but I would never bring a guitar to a party and like pull it out and just play wonder wall. And yeah, yeah, I was never that guy. Those guys did exist and they still do.


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[Assistant] Yeah. Oh, Austin. Austin Post. Oh, that's his name? Austin Swift. It's Post Malone. Why don't you bring that up?


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[Assistant] It's a type of something. I don't think it's a cheese, I think it's bread.


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[Assistant] It's a, yeah, it's an hors d'oeuvres of the bread with the.


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[Assistant] Yeah. Oh, there they are. Yeah, I remember that guy.


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[Assistant] Yeah, he did alright, he found two, uh, has-beens.


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[Assistant] He's on like a railroad track for that. That doesn't look like Mount Juliet though.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've done themed shows where you have to eat. Oh, hot chicken or something? Yea, we did the hot chicken show where you eat hot chicken and then do a set. Yea. And, uh, I enjoyed it.


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[Assistant] He was a lifelong career musician. He started his own band called the Pete Best Four.


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[Assistant] And joined and started many other bands over the years, but obviously nothing compared to what the Beatles did.


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[Assistant] Yeah, I think he's just, he just didn't have that X factor. That superstar, whatever that is that they all had. Guess he just didn't have it. Too bad.


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[Assistant] I think it was... In what term? John Lennon or Paul McCartney was like...


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[Assistant] No, they said it about themselves. Yeaah. More, more popular than Jesus. John Lennon said it. In a 1966 interview.


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[Assistant] Because of this? I don't know. No, this, I mean, this was a long time before he got...


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[Assistant] That's one of those, I mean, discovery. If you walk in anywhere and there's a seven foot four guy, don't you immediately think that guy can play basketball?


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[Assistant] I think this is him, Kyle Brinza maybe. Yeah. The kicker at Notre Dame was he played in the intramural leagues. He was a kicker. We played against him and somebody, somebody on the varsity team saw him and was like, Oh, he might actually be good. And then he.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It did, but it didn't say anything about intramural football.


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[Assistant] I think we talked about this. I can't remember, I can't remember the exact story, but I, from the book, it was like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] His, his discovery was kind of a fluke cause his video was trash or something.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was like a running backs video. I can't remember the exact story, but, uh, yeah.


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[Assistant] Trying to get Batesville to start up over here, but yeah.


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[Assistant] He did the panel on one of them and he was, and he was so crazy. Yeah. Such a weird character. It was hilarious.


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[Assistant] Afterwards. He was like 19, right? He was super young.


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[Assistant] Yeah, the guy who worked at the Opry saw me and was like, you should do the Opry sometime. And I was like, all right. Yeah. And then that guy became president of the Opry two years later, two years later, I got an email from him out of the blue. Oh, two years later. Let's do the Opry. I didn't realize that's pretty, pretty crazy.


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[Assistant] Yeah. Right place, right time. I've had a few of those where it's just the right person was in the room.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This podcast for sure. Yeah. For, for both of us. A lot of the people that have come and seen us, that's, that's where they know us from now. Yep. So that's a really cool thing.


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[Assistant] I felt like post game analysis started out great, real dip.


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[Assistant] Came back with some fire and then we ended with a kind of a serious note. Sweet. I think something for everybody.


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[Assistant] I was just thinking about the joke where the wife's like, just let it go. And he's like, no, no, no, no.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're good at putting human characteristics on an animal, like having them... You've got a lot of animal jokes like that where...


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[Assistant] They're, you're putting it like in our shoes and if they were in our shoes or wearing their shoes.


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[Assistant] Yeah. And the dead horse, I got to witness firsthand.


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[Assistant] I think the president brings his own everywhere, but some of the lower level, they use what's in that town.


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[Assistant] Is he calling himself Secret Service? He's just in a three-letter agency.


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[Assistant] I just saw a thing, a documentary on secret service guys and the main guy for Obama.


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[Assistant] On Trump's inauguration, he walks out with Obama, like, right on his hip. And they swear.


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[Assistant] Trump in as president and he walks out with Trump. It's just so funny. Like that's like his job. So as soon as it switches power, see ya former president.


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[Assistant] She worked for Condoleezza Rice and uh, Chelsea Clinton enrolled there. So the Clintons came to Stanford, met with uh, Condoleezza.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And brought the secret service guy and kind of talked about the process of, uh, you know, he's on campus. He's walking around with her. Wow. So yeah. So.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It, it lasts for a while. And there was a picture last week of the Clintons on the beach, walking, distroing on the beach. And there's two guys like pretty close to them walking with them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then they have to call in all these people. And then at the end, it's like $290 for gas because it didn't click off. He's like, I'm not paying this. The thing didn't click off. But I mean, they're like mopping, like they had to shut down that gas station.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't even. Well you talked about how you now have enough money to fill up. Yeah. Where you used to not.


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[Assistant] But if Brody's listening, he might be onto us.


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[Assistant] Uh, cause every time he reads that, people always comment, he was trying to say deluxe.


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[Assistant] Selena, I remember, cause her, the president of her fan club was the one who murdered her.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If I remember correctly. And then J-Lo played her in the movie.


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[Assistant] Well, they think you were trying to- last week when you did supercalifragilistice.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They think you were singing the tune to Bare Necessities.


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[Assistant] Can he do an updated photo like 10 years later and 20 years later?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. Oh, well I assumed he wore clothes in the updated one, but.


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[Assistant] I guess I just, I read a comment, I don't know if it's true, that someone said why is he suing, if he cared that much, why did he keep doing


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Maybe that's the guy who wrote the alcohol book? Was that Harry Meeks? I don't know. I don't remember that, but it's very funny apparently.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I looked that up, there was a guy named Cliff who...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, there's a little guy named Cliff who came up with the idea. He died a few years ago.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I always, I always call it a cliff note, but I looked this up. It is Cliff's note. Cliff's notes.


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[Assistant] I think a lot of comments have been, at this point we don't care, just stop talking about it.


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[Assistant] So hello folks only, let's go folks only, or hello folks slash let's go folks.


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[Assistant] Like if he was doing a character, he can do, he can do some really deep voices and some...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's so funny. He knew he was too far in, so he just had to finish it off. Go buy two more and then dig into that one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well those were half gallons. People comment, you guys are ridiculous. They're like, did y'all not learn anything from the Krispy Kreme challenge? By what y'all claimed y'all could do?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is this a, like a little wink toward the podcast? Oh, yeah. I mean, he had a line where he said folks. I say folks.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was so nervous. Uhm, he was done shooting before I even got out of bed the first morning.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So he was done, then I just had to wait. So I just got kind of more nervous just waiting. And the first day there, I'm in my trailer and just filling out some paperwork or something. There's a knock on the door and I come in and it was Greg. And he was so nice.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Don't look at me. I did one guy, cause I'm in those shackles in that mask and it's so hot and he said...


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[Assistant] So that scene was, was so much fun. We had to stop once cause Aaron was laughing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then the next day I had a scene where I had to start the scene, which was different than the day before because I didn't know when. And they're seeing me in my cage and the main character's sweeping in front of me and Greg goes, action! And I just sit there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I memorize my lines over and over and he's like, hey, how about after we've nailed those, then say this and then say this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, like we did it the- well, I had two lines for the show, but then that second line, he told me to do it three different ways.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Josh Wolf, another Nashville comic's in it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then Greg, everybody's. Yeah, we had things, there's Josh and, uh, Joey Diaz, he was in it. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, Greg was so nice and to think he has hundreds of people and so many, and then to take time for us, he was just great. I mean, yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's great. And we were on, uh, the first three days of the shoot of 51 days, they said.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I went straight from Pittsburgh to Guddy's Comedy Club. Oh yes. In Greenwood, Indiana. Had a great weekend there. Great club. Sold out Saturday night. Whoa. I was first one to sell out the new club. Oh wow. And, uh, it's a,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, Friday night's crowd was small, but I'd bet half of them were folks.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Somebody like emailed me and said, I was going to come to your show, but I was exposed to someone who has COVID. So I'm just in quarantine for like a couple of weeks. I'm like, well.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But, um, uh, September 7th, next Tuesday, I'm making my grand old Opry debut. So I'm excited about that. That's cool.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Did you say two out of three men lose their hair? Yeah. So I think we got one of us nailed down.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was at a pretty old comfort inn this weekend. It was the slowest elevator.


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[Assistant] I've ever seen my life. I mean, there's only three floors. It would take forever. Just, you're like, are there just multiple people getting on it? And it's like, no, it's just creeping. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean we didn't get into it last week on those theme parks, but there's cases people getting trapped on rides like upside down.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't think anyone has been hanging up. There was one I had last week. They were upside down for about 30 minutes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What didn't we cover last week? It came out when you were three?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I just remember before the internet, you had no way of knowing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So you better have a pen ready. You're gonna have to start all over and call back.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, this was before movie phone. This was some guy. I'm like, literally someone who works there. Every morning he had a...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We took a taxi from your tour bus Erin and I from Pigeon Forge to Knoxville.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I think that was like one car in all of Pigeon Forge that, that just. It was.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He can move. Did, uh, your groomsmen like their groomsmen gift?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do you think Tony Gwynne, more than any player in esport, you identify with one team? Like, like, he is the Padres.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't think so. And the Yankees, they've had a million star players. Babe Ruth, Mickey Mantle. I'm not about a guy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm not saying this is, no, I'm not saying this is popular, but if you know about baseball, think about the Padres. Tony Gwynne is by far...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it was great. It was great. Both great crowds both nights. Met some folks there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Got off to, uh, nothing to do with the club. The club was great, but my car...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, took my car in the shop last week because the check engine light came on and the guy came out and he sits down with me. So it's almost like they're notifying you that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I got some bad news. And he's like, rodents have eaten through your fuel line and something, some type of harness, tank, some type of tank harness.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it's going to be $4,000 to fix it. Now my wife's had this problem and her dad


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's either squirrel or chipmunks because we have a bunch of both. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, for real. We could have paid for a garage by all this. But my insurance covered it. But then I didn't have a car. Uhm, so, renting cars right now are so expensive. It's hard to even get rental cars right now. Yeah. And they're very expensive.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A plane ticket was exactly the same amount of money. So I flew to St. Louis and Ubered to the hotel in O'Fallon.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then I get, so I get there early because I flew. So I get the hotel at 115 and I walk in, like checking in the lady said, rooms not available until three.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I'm like, all right, I got my backpack and just a little carry thing. And then I'm like, and I don't have a car.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, about that time when she's giving me these bad news, I'm like, why are the back of my pants wet?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, I didn't sit in anything, so I kinda stepped off in that little partition area where the sliding doors are, and I'm like, why is my pants so wet? And then my backpack was all wet.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I had to go outside on the sidewalk and open my backpack and dig through. I had a bottle of water that the top would come off. It just dumped water in my backpack with my computer, my camera, and a few other things and my pants are soaking wet.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He goes in, he gets him a five hour energy drink and a few other things. He's been there a while.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then he takes me to Applebee's, and when I got out of the car, I picked up my bag, his floorboard was wet, and his seat was wet. And there was a trail of water, like I looked back a few times, just dripping with me as I walked.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So then I got an apple piece and I sat in this wet booth by myself.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then finally, like everywhere I go, there's just a trail of tears.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I mean, it got off to a rough start, but, uh, but the shows themselves were great.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, very, very nice people. Like I said, met some of our folks. They came out. It was great.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I posted on our community Facebook page and so many people commented that this is a thing. I guess there's a soy is in the fuel lines and they, it's attracted to it and they just bite, bite into them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But now they're giving us ways to like- He has stuff leaking everywhere, maybe his soy sauce is leaking from the bottom of his- It could be. I stole some from that Applebee's.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I don't know what it is, I just know it's some type of food that has a certain smell apparently.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] People have said put out fake rubber snakes to scare the squirrels away, uh, mothballs, I guess. Different things. Spray.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The guy at the car dealership says, one of the parts I need won't be in until October. Oh wow. Again, because of COVID, somehow everything's backed up, so. Damn. They're working.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's what happened to the Applebee's that I ended up going to. We walked in and there's nobody there and they're like, it's going to be a wait.


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[Assistant] There was just people coming in right in front of me. No, I was by myself. I know, it's the Uber driver.


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[Assistant] It's a joke. That whole Jerry Lawler thing on Letterman. Oh, that was so great.


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[Assistant] I don't know if he was, I can't remember if he was either, but he slaps him, like hits him hard.


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[Assistant] Was, uh, I'm gonna ask you, was Taylor Swift's brother at your wedding?


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[Assistant] You know, I was watching the Phyllis's wedding episode of The Office yesterday. It's so, and just hours after your wedding, it's just so funny. Michael gets up to make that toast and he says, Webster defines wedding as the fusing of two metals together with a hot torch.


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[Assistant] I feel like it's weddings and funerals and I just, my cousin passed away a couple of weeks ago suddenly and I met so many of his friends that I never knew and got to know, like I know so much more about his life now.


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[Assistant] Yeah, and it's a shame, like why didn't I meet these people forehand, so we had this common bond.


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[Assistant] So that's why the wedding is so nice. Now I've met your family, your close friends, and it's nice when a celebratory instead of a sad reason.


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[Assistant] You pointed out that the girl, Lucy's friend, that she grew up with, was making these references to their childhood, and you pointed out how much younger in difference in age they are.


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[Assistant] Some rapper that, yeah, I can't remember. I don't remember.


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[Assistant] Yeaah, so. What is it about, he's a little guy, what is it about golfer, like in sports, usually if you're tall, you have adventure in basketball or big in football, what is it about guys that just some of them have that extra greatness?


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[Assistant] Uh, 1-1, I wanna mention these hats. Oh, yes. Danny Pritchard, one of our folks, sent these to us. He's retired Air Force. Yeah. Nice. Big fan, very nice.


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[Assistant] We talked about the future episode, they're going to fix that. Yeaah. You go live forever?


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[Assistant] Uh, yeah, I don't know, but I saw him 60 minutes of their night.


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[Assistant] If you're born right now, half the people born right now will live to their 103rd or 104th birthday.


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[Assistant] Yeah. Uh, Zany's company club will be headlining Zany's June 13th. It's a Sunday four o'clock.


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[Assistant] Afternoon show, so. Alright. Come to Nashville for the weekend. Come to the show. You can be on the road by six. Still be home. Be home.


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[Assistant] No, I do if it's a show like with you that, like the podcast, live podcast and stuff, at places that I don't think they're going to know what I'm talking about. I don't.


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[Assistant] It was the, it was so funny though. I mean, you played off of it for so long. It was great.


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[Assistant] You know, I noticed the next night there was some music that came into your monitor.


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[Assistant] Really? That's pretty quick. I mean, I thought I was gonna, not out there. I did better than I expected.


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[Assistant] I've done that numerous times and I just have to re-tee off from the women's tees.


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[Assistant] We met a folk this weekend and he had a Nate Land coffee mug.


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[Assistant] And I signed it, Breakfast Baits. And I mean, 30 seconds later, I just hear,


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[Assistant] I think he means, I'm still throwing out these random dumb facts while Aaron's giving us signals that- We're talking about suicide. Yeah.


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[Assistant] I'm not sure about the bacon part. I guess he just means the bear. If he was there to maul, he would grab that bacon.


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[Assistant] But, I guess, I guess the guy made the whole story up.


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[Assistant] Which story was it? This is the, this is the bear attack where the guy said the bear was stalking him and he had to keep hiding in his little, till someone rescued him.


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[Assistant] According to Trey, Rick does ATV, too embarrassing to admit, I don't know why.


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[Assistant] I could see that. Y'all don't have one? We're too far out in the country.


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[Assistant] We're contributing to a problem. That was from the discoveries episode. We're talking about penicillin. I think I said something about treating the flu virus and that was, I think that's what she's referring to.


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[Assistant] Do not tell her kids, the students to watch this podcast.


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[Assistant] Right now it's so hot, you could probably go two weeks. Okay.


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[Assistant] They had them. Aaron and I just talked about this because he was trying to help me learn some stuff. The fact that I say computer stuff, he just looked at me like this guy.


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[Assistant] Oh, I probably got a ton. I just watched, uh, my wife was watching Clueless on TBS or something, and I watched it with her, and it's, I thought it was really funny. I mean, I've seen it before, but...


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[Assistant] Before we get into it, I did some research on that Tom Brady video. Turns out it is real. It's 100% authentic, so...


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[Assistant] Blow their mind by saying, it's real, folks. Just keep going.


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[Assistant] They said no, they said the wheels were spinning so fast it would immediately just shut it right back up.


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[Assistant] If you were in the FBI and they said, we gotta investigate.


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[Assistant] We gotta infiltrate the Olympics. You have to go as an Olympic athlete and blend in. What sport can you best blend in?


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[Assistant] I mean, that's what I was going to say. I could sweep. Yea, you could do the sweeping. Yea, do some sweeping.


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[Assistant] Like what's your best sport you think you could do? Well yours golf probably.


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[Assistant] But if you had to say they gave you gymnastics.


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[Assistant] There was a guy like called him Eric the eel. I don't remember this, but in 2000.


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[Assistant] He was from some new developing country that they'd never been in the Olympics.


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[Assistant] And there was three developed countries that uhm, he was from like Equator Guinea or something.


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[Assistant] Like eight months earlier, he'd never been in an Olympic sized pool.


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[Assistant] And he raced against three other guys. The first, the other two guys jumped in too quickly. So they got disqualified. So he got to do the whole race by himself and he barely made it cause he can barely swim. I thought he was going to drown, but he did the whole thing and it took him like a minute 54 to do it.


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[Assistant] But he, he won his heat because he was the only one doing it. Wow. Wow. And then he moved on.


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[Assistant] Well, he s- even though he won his heat, his time was so slow, he still didn't get to-


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[Assistant] Yeah, he starts off good, but his form's not great. By the end, like, he's like, I don't think he's going to make it.


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[Assistant] So you can see slowing down a little bit there. By the end, he's, you're like, this guy might drown right here on spot.


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[Assistant] He didn't get to race against anyone else, uhm, because his heat, obviously his time wasn't good enough, so he didn't.


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[Assistant] The other two guys were real or the other two? They were from developing countries also and they all started twice.


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[Assistant] I think I'd be more impressed with these Olympic runners if I knew the metric system. Like I think in the US we always hear.


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[Assistant] He did a 9.8 seconds, a hundred meter or whatever. I'm like, I have no idea.


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[Assistant] Like he was saying about, I always think, wonder what he'd run the 40 in. Yeah, the 40 yard. I mean, I'm probably under four.


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[Assistant] So the Olympic rings, uhm, that represents the five continents that participate in the Olympics. And I guess those five colors represent part of the flag of every country that participates.


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[Assistant] Uh, opening ceremonies, it always starts with the Greeks.


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[Assistant] That's where it started, it was in Greece, so it always starts with the Greeks and ends with the host team.


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[Assistant] And then all other countries go in alphabetical order as labeled by the host country's language.


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[Assistant] Not too many Olympics ago. So I guess, I don't know if they came out first and came back, circled back around.


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[Assistant] Every two years the Olympic flame is lit in Greece before going to the host nation and the host nation displays it around the country for use like the Olympic caldron.


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[Assistant] One of the worst movies I've ever seen was Superman 3, the one with, uh, uh, well I'm gonna draw a blank on Richard Pryor, but Superman, Superman, like,


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[Assistant] Becomes a bad guy and he just lets himself go and starts drinking and start stop shaving.


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[Assistant] That was great. That's about the only scene in that movie. I remember blowing out the Olympic flame and everybody just looks around like, oh gosh, what do we do? But yeah, once it gets into the host country, then you just run it.


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[Assistant] This was in 19, the Christopher Reeve version could.


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[Assistant] But that says Clark Kent is a lightweight when it comes to holding his booze.


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[Assistant] Uhm, there were four new sports added this year to the Olympics. Yeah. Surfing, sport climbing, karate and skateboarding.