[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We were weak-handed knowing what I was doing with the episodes, and yet you still use the very edges of your frame that are clearly never, never being used again. I went that gumball machine in it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I thought it was a bit, but he was actually concerned. Like, yeah, turn on your fucking light. How about a front light, dude?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There were multiple comments on the last podcast about like, oh, I'm working a job.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, but uh, from what I remember, I only like, clicked around and watched the whole thing. Uh, Carlos had the lightest load. Yeah, it was almost like, imperceivable. Yeah, it was so light that it didn't pick up on the measure, like, for the weight.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's all, it's all fan-done. So basically, uh, you have to rely on a shitty person being there and, uh, having work ethics. So a shitty person with work ethic has to provide your porn to you. Other than just you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. Well, before that, I just, I just want to say, I actually know somebody who told me they unsubbed after the Brian episode because you guys spent more than half just objectifying women.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, yeah. This is brutal, man. She wouldn't have a career. In porn, I mean.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's not a nice thing about women, that's that you own three women and four. You immediately went into the possessive.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I'm shaping the minds of two women. At what point are you gonna say something nice about women though?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Too used to it, man. I think it's more common, especially now with people being like, porn being so accessible.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hold on, hold on. That happens all the time. You know somebody who used to, like, on the daily, ask their own D. What, did they ever rib removed?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's like being, having someone have sex with your ass. It could be anything, if it's already in latex.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's so anti-social, cause if you're in front of 10 people, you'll fuckin' lock up on a stage.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm glad that, uh, you know, we came back and circled back around, uh, animal abuse. Never have too much. If you were a mailman.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's a lot of potential for uhm, Marcus and stuff up there I guess.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's cause games are your fucking job, that's why. You gotta move on.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, cause dude, then I've got a backlog of games that I'm like, oh, I'm going to buy this game that I'm going to play when I stream and then I just never get a chance cause things are constantly coming out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was fun, I've never played normal among us, I thought it was a child's game. My 8 year old nephew loves the game, but no, we played it in VR, it was our hoot.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's like a comfort setting or something, when you're doing stuff, it like focuses in on the center. You gotta turn that off, so you have your full field of view.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think you're just focused. No, no. You might have laser focus.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Did you like that? We didn't do uhm, even a second of prep work.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it was honestly pretty seamless. Yeah. Oh well, don't worry. I'm gonna edit in like the, you know, I'm just gonna put in like clips of me like getting the best comebacks. Oh, you shouldn't!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause Tom- Tom Green's movie was about him making his movie. I don't-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, as you may have noticed, we had just a little bit of a technical hiccup there. Uhm, yea, Discord call dropped, we said fuck it, we called it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, uh, we never had a chance to do any kind of outro or shoutouts or whatever, so...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you want to support me, you can, uh, go to Stalt on YouTube or Twitch, S-T-A-L-L-T-T, or just keep watching these podcasts, cause they support me too.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Anyway, good night, or good evening, or whatever the hell you're doing. It doesn't matter. You need to leave.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Ontario, I'm not going any more specific than that, but you can probably assume where.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I never understood what that was. I had American people tell me what Canadian bacon was. That's what it was.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think dude, there's been a lot of comments recently, but like, Sam, you, every picture of you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, so Peanut was talking about having like, he was like, hey, will you go to the creator clash? And I was like, I would pay money not to go. Cause that sounded like such a stupid thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I was like, that seems like that's a blast. And we got like, incredible sheets.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know what I noticed between him and Harley is, uh, cause these aren't like, these guys didn't do the psychological, they didn't have Don King to sit there and go like, it's not a person, you punch through them, punch through them. You know, they didn't have anybody to dehumanize their opponent. To them, it's just a colleague. And so like when Harley,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They don't, it's not that they don't look the same, I know that, but they, uh, they both look like, uh, Mexican guys. But, uh, are they like a, a periphery character of, of Webby's entourage, or are they more like central pillars?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And he's like, okay. And he just goes over there. He goes like, can I get in there? I have a million subs. And it was like, you know how Welland's jacked, right? He was jacked, but the guard was the same amount of jacked.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's an embarrassing thing I could do. Oh my lord, yeaah. Did you see that he, uh, uh, challenged you?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Why were there two Magician movies? Two Victorian Magician movies? What's the other one called? What are you talking about? Uhm, it's... The Magnificent...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And even if like the creator clash goes like, oh my god, you need to fight in six months or whatever, I would spend my time learning how to count cards way before I'd spend my time learning how to be a fucking boxer. I would be willing to go into that ring and get decapitated by Wubby in two punches.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Don't have that kill instinct. Like when they get hit, they panic. You know?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh dude, yeah, well no, if he comes up behind me and starts choking me and trying to pull me off...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But anyways, I wouldn't do that cause like, anyways, I asked her if she would go and she's like, no. I'm like, would you even watch it? And she's like, absolutely not. I'm like, wow, this lady fucking rocks. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If this actually becomes a thing, can you teach me how to like, kill a person with my bare hands?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's some hardcore shit. Because the whole point of this thing, you're not getting paid for it. Who gives a fuck about charity? People are there for the publicity.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So Webby's known for eating a bunch of those, uh, sugar-free, um, gummies, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That you're just like, it immediately pulls you out of. Yeah, I had, yeah. I hide my phone when I, when I stream.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, he didn't. Dude, this guy was a bionic man. He had a major. Bionic penis.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Major heart attack. Like, he died, technically, in 1992?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So they gave him one of those pacemakers and everything and he had to rebuild his personality and all that shit, learn how to ride again. And then uhm, basically, every time his heart would try to just kill itself, the pacemaker would shock him back in. I grew up just watching that guy, he'd be having a conversation and then he would just go like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That guy, his body tried to kill him 50 times while I was there from the time I was a kid till he died when I was like 20 something.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, my entire life at the time, you know, at his funeral, when he died, everybody was sad. And I was like, thinking about it, like if this was the 1800s, that fucker would have been dead when I was like one and I would have never known him. So every little year I got with his pacemaker and everything, well, you know, I was like, there's a God dang.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Did they even have coaches in the corners? Was that a thing?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No. Okay, I do. Okay, it's kind of funny.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It looks like the crossroads at the end of fucking, uh, Castaway when he's sitting there trying to- he's like meeting up with the lady with the package and he's just like- but just imagine the strip club there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's like, there was a shit stain on the chair in the VIP room. Like all the complaints are just so, it's not like, oh, the person might have been an asshole and they had a bad experience. It's all pretty legitimate things.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, so if you push to widen your asshole, it makes your neck hurt?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Lil' Poob. Wait, which one's which? Uh, Lil' Poob is bottom right. Uh, Brian's the black one. I can't see it, but I can tell it's the cutest. Oh, that's sick, so I can see the-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you go on that estate sale site, you should just go ahead and get it. The $10 tier that gives you absolutely nothing extra. You still have the tier. I thought you got rid of it. It doesn't do anything.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm scared that I'll get that shit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, joining, like, if anybody had like a special little thing they did.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I wanted to be a part of it. I remember I was so pissed off when I saw that the kids, some kids got to go in and get free breakfast at school.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The, uh, the nurse in elementary school, and he would get his blood sugar tested, and then he would get a little juice box maybe, if the numbers were wacky, or maybe a little piece of candy. And so I would like walk with him, and the teachers would be like, hey, where you guys going? And I would be like, uh, diabetes. Or whatever. I get my old checkup.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, uh, we kept this up for a while until Sunday. This is very strange. We had been going through a lot of candy, you know, to make sure this kid was all fucked up and his blood sugar was all over before he got there. I was like, we don't eat breakfast or nothing before we go to the-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, uh, we show up, I'm sitting there, at this time Jinkos were really popular, I had Jinko shorts on that were basically long pants.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I used to go, go out there with like pockets full of candy at this point, cause I got more and more brazen, you know, you give me a twizzler, I'll take the whole pack. And, uh, I show up in there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so anyway, I know there's candy here, right? I turn the corner to get my friend's blood sugar thing. The nurse is in there. And behind her, waiting, is like the vice principal lady. Who was also my classmate's mom.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause this is a pretty regular thing, her getting scared and then coming down the house to get in our bed. Yeah. And, and I always have to fucking do the walk back where I'm like, no, you have to stay in your bed. And then like an hour later, she comes back and she'll try going over to Abby's side and going like, maybe this bitch will be a little bit scared of this bitch.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so the, uh, cause she's like looms over one of us until we wake up. So anyways, we got the floors all torn up and there's just like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was like, honey, you have to stay in your room. This is, remember, this isn't even a four year old. It's like three and a half year old. I'm telling her, cause in order to get to my room, she has to go through all that shit. I'm like, you have to stay in bed tonight.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And if you ha- if you're absolutely have to leave your room,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And uh, but yeaah, I turned out, and I also pissed the bed till I was seven, but I turned out normal. Oh, also when I was collecting Pokemon cards, I used to straddle my mom so I had her undivided attention and show her each of my Pokemon. And I did that till I was pretty old too.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I said I have no guess. There's no guest room at this house. This is weird that cause it has a, this is a fucking ridiculously sized house, right? And it, I, it's actually pretty funny. It does not have.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Three bedrooms. One for each kid and then one for us. The fourth bedroom I've retrofitted into an office. Right? It's like the whole basement. And...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The, the bartender couldn't do like heavy drinks on the house to get a better tip or whatever?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so it gauged how much they were pouring.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well anyways, so my dad's company gets like a VIP access key card like, like for like a year. They're like, you come in anytime you want. This is the oldest shit. Like my dad and his fucking old ass coworkers, like Tuesday lunchtime. He's like, we're going down.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it was like plexiglass, it was like a custom built, like a big plexiglass thing and you could see all the drives moving and everything. That's kinda cool. And it was like 120 gigabytes or something.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Every movie basically from 1990 to 2007, he had


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I would, dude, like, you know, a couple rounds in when I'm all tuckered out, I feel like a good-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's the way, hold on. You gonna turn it into something? Yeah, yeah, it's gonna be put on something. Like a poster? I just don't know why. Hold on, can I do this?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There we go. Look at that. That's really sick. That's really sick. Look at Poob front and center. Stealing the show. Uh, back and center.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It brought up church twice, but, uh, we had the greatest conversation for like 45 minutes to an hour. And it was one of those where we kept saying bye and then the bye's never happened because the conversation kept, you know, we kept getting re-involved in it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A criminal, uh, CPA or something for like a criminal accountant.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The VAT tax is paid, so like when people buy from countries that have like an insanely high VAT tax, like I know Canada has a little of one, but.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's no way to like, set it up right? I mean like, what we'll do is we'll just find the regions, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm not gonna do all that shit. Look out on my product pricing and shipping costs or whatever. Cause there was some fucking asshole that lived in like the Netherlands or something. I guess their VAT tax is really high. It was like Lichtenstein or some shit. He ordered a shirt and we ended up paying like 30 fucking dollars. Cause like the shipping was weird and the VAT tax came in.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Old desk was now being, it's being used as like a little temporary kitchen in the other room cause we're having like the renovations done up there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, uh, and so Abby has to cook over basically...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then he whoops my ass and then he does a Zoolander 2 where he then tears off another fat suit and he's fully three piece suit under it, walks out of the ring.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Maybe like one of those like BDSM like the ones with the metal spikes on them on my wrists and like maybe like a har- like a har- like a choker with like metal spikes on it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You need to go to a, don't go to a chiropractor.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] 90% of the time she's just like on the couch chilling.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What cracks me up is like, if you go through the process of ordering a Netflix DVD, uh, ripping it, putting it onto your own DVD, you would think you would like write the name legibly on there with a Sharpie. Dude, this guy, it was like he was a doctor signing. Yeah. He was just like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And half the time, I swear to God, there's multiple DVDs that said a certain thing and then you would put it in the DVD player as a different movie. It was completely, it was the wrong one. I remember Cape Fear was like that. I was like, oh, Cape Fear, I've heard of this movie. It's legally blonde or something, not even close.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Got good hair though, this. De Niro looks fucking awesome in that movie, yea. He's got the greatest tattoo, it's like a big scales, justice scales on his back.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I need to watch the Deer Hunter 2 and I got a bad taste in my mouth for like watching it, but it's by someone that doesn't have exactly the best movie opinions and that Aqua was like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Warriors of Virtue, I saw that shit on Twitter, someone posted screencaps, didn't recognize it by name, but the pictures, fuck it, I recognize it, I have no idea what it's about. Like I just rem- cause the- Well those screencaps were from Warriors of Virtue.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I just, I saw it and it awakens something in me where I'm like, I think I've seen this before because it's just such a unique character design.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I, I was gonna put it on YouTube, just to laugh at it, especially the pommel horse scene. And uhm, what's weird is like it immediately got copyright claimed and banned from viewership in like all countries worldwide.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Which, MGM made it, so I'm like, does M, and there's no way to like see, it's not like on Hulu, it's not on HBO or anything. Like, I think they buried it, and then when they see anybody uploading it online, they just DMCA that fucking thing. They're like trying to, they're trying to hide this. They don't wanna ever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Everything's so quick to go from theater to streaming shit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] At Topgolf, drunk as shit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I went to Topgolf and at the end, you know, after some drinks and everything, at the end, I was doing like, I was trying to do like a little step.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, in the days of, uh, you know, I used to get on, uh, AIM and we would, we would sit there and like play little fucking weird gossiping games and pin people for doing weird shit and starting rumors and stuff. And, uh, I could see a kid making a GeoCity site.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I think somebody literally did that somebody did a youtube video where they had like finger guns And they added the muzzle flashes off the finger guns. That's probably freddy w


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've done that a few times in person to people. Just if you ever like mistake content creators for other content creators and then don't figure it out until about midway through a conversation.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Now I'm like, oh, we're pretty inclusive, huh? Son of a bitch. But I don't see color, of course. Yeah. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think it's called, I think it's just called being colorblind. No, you're a, you're a canine American. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You gotta do it like a Pavlov's dog thing, like right before you have sex, just flick it, and then all of a sudden, like nowadays, just walking through the house, like just during the day, you just flick it and she gets aroused.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So that was something that we built on a dare.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I have a bunch of licenses, so yea, no, unfortunately the ATF already has all of my fingerprints, address, information, everything, but this is basically an AK that we built upside down.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, yeah, the Kalashnabran is what we call it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Some wacky Tarkov shit right there. We were joking about adding this into Tarkov like as a scav gun, cause it's just a piece of shit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm verifying that's clear real quick.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So that leads me to a couple of questions. One, what are the odds this was actually a spouse and not just like, he just hires call girls to just walk around with him seductively through food land?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm gonna make it worse, the second one is, how badly crippled is he? Cause if he like, is paralyzed from like the waist down, what if he just can't even have sex and that's the only way he can kinda get any sort of, anything out of it, is just looking at other people.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh god, so you can have a, there's a 50-50 chance if you are a pregnant midget that you could just have to give birth to a full whole ass size baby.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's horrifying. Although, you know, they really have min-maxed life to have not painful kidney stones.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You don't even need like a fleshlight, you just need like a very soft thimble.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Move to Texas, join a radical militia.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I went to fucking Lake Syracuse, uh, last year, uh, during the summer in Indiana, and my god, that place, everything close, like all the bars, restaurants, everything, not, like no lockdowns, nothing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] All of them closed at like 6 o'clock in the afternoon. That entire town is just fucking dead. I'm like, oh, you guys wanna go get a drink? Like, no, sorry, it's 7.02.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, like, my dad's just kind of like, he'd probably say typical, you know, country dude, just, he had a couple guns, things like that, and took me shooting when I was young. And then he'd just like, when I was like 18, 19, like, eh, you're going to want a whole hog on this gun thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, a small but dedicated market that this could apply to.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Dude, that actually would be great. They had a cock shirt like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Their, their guns can vary quite a bit. I wasn't sure if I was being fucked with or probably a little bit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They don't have one and that was really funny when they first started issuing it to law enforcement because there was like a five year period where, you know, everybody's getting used to the new platform and a lot of cops shot themselves. Like, a lot.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. Dude, that's why I'm like, people are like, why don't you stream more? I'm like, well, like there are times when I enjoy streaming, but also it's so much more.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So how did you get gaslit into fucking, uh, losing all your sponsorship revenue? Well, I went on this podcast with this guy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Not nearly as much as I should. Yeah. Uhm, I used to do a lot more and then I, well, got fucking lazy and drank a lot.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Ever run upstairs? I took one, I took one, like as part of a shot, I forget what you call it. But, uh, whatever, like tequila plus a raw egg or whatever, and I, no shit, almost fucking vomited immediately.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What do you do with the 4 minutes that you save?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No. Yeah, no. The thing that drives me fucking crazy is that, like, I'll be craving one particular thing. Like, if it's like, let's just say it's like a shake at Five Guys or some shit. And it's like, ooh, that just sounds really fucking good right now. I'll order like a burger, shake, whatever. The only thing that will not be in it is the one thing I want.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes, I'll get a refund on that one small order of it, but I don't even want the rest of this. I just ordered it so I'd get over the 12 bucks so I get a free delivery.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Domestic abuse, uh, bears fruit every now and again.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah, but he was still like old and pissed off at the world and said a lot of racial slurs. Yeaah. Yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Nevermind. Yeah, I, uh, I, I'm, yeah, I've been in a relationship for two years, which means I'm also on Bumble, yeah?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well I did, so I met my girlfriend before, like I had any sort of internet cloud of any, you know, meaningful size.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So she did kind of see everything kind of from where it started out to where it is now, so that makes me feel kind of better. But yeah, cause I was just a pro retard and now I'm a retard still, but. Professionally. Yeah. Professionally. Yeah, yeah. Be better for it. Yeah. E-clown. Yeah. I say internet court jester is usually my description. It's a good one. It's a good one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I've seen, uh, yeah, I have a bunch of different friends that, you know, it all comes down to the same shit, where it's like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Not a lot of people, if you're not a content creator, uh, if you are a content, if you're a content creator dating a content creator that has its own problems, but if you're dating somebody who's not a content creator, they don't fucking get it. They think you vacation for a living.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You see this is not a problem because the people we are killing are not people.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, they tried a really bad Hot Ones game show that's like, completely defeats the purpose of like, the reason why Hot Ones works, you know, like that interview format and everything. They did it as like a, like an old like, family feud style game show.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I got your faces. I don't really drink white claw that often. I do like in the summer because it's just fucking refreshing and delicious. But, uh, we just shoot them in videos is what it is. Sorry, just became a running joke.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because like you'll drink it nothing but that for like three months and then one day it just starts tasting bad. Yeaah. You can't really explain it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, they probably want nothing to fucking do with me. The old major, like, white girl wasted brand, like, oh yea, let's do super fucking, I don't know, libertarian dude who has a bunch of fucking guns. That'd be, uh, six sponsorships. I don't know, just unlimited.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Close. Dude, I would fucking, I would forgo payment for that. 100%.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's the bit, cause some of these guys, like, it's such a personal fucking mission to correct everyone on the fucking internet if they see something like that. So, like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] One of the big photos of Mikhail Kalashnikov, the guy who invented the AK, is like holding the AK, he's like fucking 80 years old at this point, and his finger is like all the way down on the trigger. So like, I fucking replicate that all the time, just like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, Lucas, uh, Botkin, what happened? I'm sorry if we were ending it here, but now I'm


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's Lucas. I raided him at one point when he was like brand new to Twitch.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's not far from Indiana. Might have to go pay this gentleman a visit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They have all sorts of arenas around America. I wanna have an internet rivalry with somebody else in the gun industry who I'm pretty sure like is slightly smaller than me that I could take if I trained hard. And I wanna beat the shit out of them on a live stream. How big is this guy? He's very thin. I think you can take him. How tall?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, nevermind, I won't go into that. There was some things that came up recently with another bigger YouTuber that I'm like, okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I raided him the other day when I got off, uh, when I got off streaming, and uh, the amount of times I heard, this is not a cult in like the first two minutes. Like alright, I need to get the fuck out of here. That's how you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We didn't want to scare you off, oof. Yeah, it's weird. It's like, you know, before, if I didn't go over to your house in, you know, a week or two, you know, it was no big deal. But ever since I took the responsibility of feeding your dog, all of a sudden, if I'm not there for a week, now it's a new issue.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But the, uh, no, at my office, I've got a bigger gun wall and we actually need more space.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So if you're not shooting corrosive ammo, it's really not a big deal. If you're shooting like old surplus ammo and stuff like that, it'll fuck it up pretty good, but if you're just shooting regular ammo, you're usually okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, of a lot of the dirt and corrosion or whatever, like, I mean, a lot of times you fire one round and it goes out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, uh, I got my mother a Glock at one point because we used to live in kind of a sketchy place, but I just wanted her to have something. She was going out to church groups or whatever late at night, you know, just something to have.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, uh, she'd never fucked with it, ever. So she'd just carry it without a round in the chamber. All she'd have to do is, you know, rack the slide and she'd be good to go.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] She'd never fucked with it. And then I'm like, oh yeah, can I see that real quick? I just, you know, want to do like routine maintenance or whatever. The slide was like rusted shut because she had spilled shit on it and whatever. Never fucking looked at it. I'm like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Not- I'm going to have to get a hammer to beat this open. Like, you would be so fucking dead if you ever needed this because not only-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I did, I ordered a, uh, uh, like a revolutionary war hand mortar, which is like an old, like the oldest grenade launcher. It's like, basically if you took a musket.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cut the front of the barrel off, and just put a big like fucking bowl there, and they just shove like a fucking cannonball or something, light it, and just shoot it out of this goddamn thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, the hair explosion that happened. We talked about that so much with Peanut, but yeah, basically my hair blown off my head. Most of my body completely stripped. And then I went to sea for a week.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And uhm, kind of, you know, it's the hot and the cold, the growth, the rebirth, and the cool sea air mixed with all those vitamins kind of wind blasted new hair back onto my head, so. That's what's happening currently, and this is my real hair. It looks better than ever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, and that's about it actually. I think I got another one that was pretty insulting, but I don't really want to bring that up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, oh my god, I come from a very modest household, I mean, you know, I'm just a little-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And the guy, I was like, yeah, we're having Project Melody on, and I got kind of like a little scoop about...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like I just, I'm gonna get that soon. I keep seeing videos about it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've been getting a lot of flack lately for my tea habits. I just want to address this really quick while it's completely off topic. I know what a kettle is. Okay, I saw the comments on the last podcast. I own a kettle.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I didn't know what an electric kettle was, and I didn't know. And now people are like, oh, he leaves his tea bags in the thing. Oh, he sucks the tea bag and gets the extra flavor off the end. That's what you're supposed to do.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I hope I lean more towards my dad's dad as well. My, well I guess you didn't, but I hope I do.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's because different heats, it's about different vitamins and stuff like that, I don't really know the full extent.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Have you ever let someone else control you? Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No. So like phantom limbs? Oh yeaah, okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Have you become part of the virtual world more than the real?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Man, maybe I should bust out the old VR headset, it's been a while. Yeah, I wouldn't really play VR again.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do you play any games and are you, are you, I'm assuming you just top frag every time because of your processing capabilities and what not?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] For the first three days we were at Disney World, it was pretty phenomenal.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know, actually, I'm not gonna lie, I barely remember it. Before the cruise, I just kinda blacked it out. Too much Disney stuff, too much walking. Three days, but the Avatar world?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Incredible, which is also funny because they clearly put the most money into Avatar World and thinking that they'd have more than one of those movies out by now. And it's still like, it looks like it's 2009 when you walk in there. But uh, it's cool. The worst thing that happened at Disney World


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, we were trying to kill a lot of, trying to kill a lot of time, so at one point I'm like, hey let's, there's no line, surprisingly. Brian, you have no idea how relevant that is actually.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And they like, it was a crowd participation thing, which already just kind of, you know, I'm not afraid of public speaking or anything, but it's like horrifying just to get called out in a room of like a hundred Disney adults and kids. And they're like, say a joke to people.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, what are you? Like, what's your favorite joke? And like, just really horrible shit. And it gave me like, kinda, after that, the whole time, I was like, I don't know which one of these little screens are people.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And which ones are just like fucking pre-recorded. And I got called out at a dinner in a Nemo place by the, the turtle from Nemo.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] All that like didn't really matter, like Disneyland was just like whatever, and then the cruise was, it was cool.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It just like, it was like really nice. Way too much Disney stuff. People walking around in those Disney suits. And I don't know, just because of the COVID and you had to be vaccinated and tested when you got on it and stuff and all these things. It just wasn't very busy. How was the service?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just like bars that have like the cringiest shit going on. I'm just like trying to drink enough to get drunk. Can't. Cause each drink's like $12.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, uh, God, one of the worst things that I've, I was just, you know, exploring the boat. I found this weird ass hallway on the front of the boat where it looked like I was in a spaceship.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm just walking around, and there's all these super vague posters on either side of the wall, like, music, chill, vibe, and all this stuff. I'm like, what is, some sort of like weird, it looks like it was a VR room or something.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I, I finally make it to like the spaceship door and there's LEDs everywhere. It's super like surreal in there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But yea, just like, I don't know, it's kinda horrible the whole trip, but, you know, it's nice, blah blah blah, but...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Shit like that, like just, and I couldn't like even call anyone after that happened and be like, man, what the fuck just happened? I mean, no cell phone service the whole time. No internet. Yeah. And I'm like, oh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is there a way I can just vtube my penis and asshole to make myself last longer, or is that not how it works?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do you think you have a porn addiction?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do you ever fuck, uh, like, in your little shows? Do you ever, is it always just like- Do you ever F-U-C-K?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If I try to get any sort of v- I want a vtuber suit of one of my freaks, which would have to be custom. Uh, and I assume very expensive.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But until I get 4D like the Muppets have, where I'm feeling wind blast me and I'm smelling ocean breeze, it's never really, you know, going to be the same. But it is, you know, it is a great way for people that are wanting to see those things, I guess.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, you did say, I am trying to be your dad.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Maybe there's a lesson to be learned here about assuming and


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Who's the person you want dead most? Who's your biggest competition? Yea, who would you kill right now? You could.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In a- in a- in VR world, of course. Yeah, like if you were to kill someone- If someone were to be wearing a very advanced haptic. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You guys got this, okay? Squeeze out some more content from this. We got nothing, man. This has been really funny, though, so far. It has been. Thanks for coming on.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I got one thing that Aqua doesn't have, you wanna see it? Who, kids? Alright, hold on.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Have you ever seen someone ride that line for that long? I've seen a guy ride a bowl at a skate park with one and I was like, that's the coolest thing. They don't even have that in ripstick advertisements. That's how cool that was.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Instead of Loot, you know what I mean?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I wasn't gonna laugh my way out of an ass whooping, but if she tried making me sit in the corner, I'd do like stupid puppy dog faces and stuff until she would look over and laugh at me. And then I'd get out of it really quick.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You would think people that make beer would be less about sipping it. In sipping it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What does that mean? They, they, I've heard some people that are on the whole voodoo ranger, like, contract thing. I've heard that they're pretty skimpy with the amount of beer that they're willing to, as if they're not me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I just got, I just got the one. But he works, he works in ways as much as two men. So, I don't need to add a joke.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So run us through a typical, a typical exfil camping stream. Play by play.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Could you, this is a podcast, supposed to go on for a couple hours, could you kinda like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, this is for the, this is for the patrons so that they know why we don't ask questions to the guests.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But like I was too old to get that into League. When, when it like popped off.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, it's not Kayla, it's Tom. There was another kid that we used to play with, Tom, and he has like a life now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What is it, like 15% of the U.S. is black? Like, I don't even feel like 15% of the characters in shows and movies are black, so I feel like there's still needs to be-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. But publicly, we don't condone that, publicly. But privately, if you buy the highest tier of patron, which is $500 a month, we have a special circle like Discord chat where we talk about stuff like that. So I'm gonna go- These dwarves are underground.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Shallow pussies. Just real bucket pussies. Cause dwarves, you know, like male dwarves, you know they got fat ones.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Dude, if I'm walking with my daughter and I turn a corner with her, like she's walking next to me and I turn a corner, she gets scared because she loses.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so, you wouldn't have to feed them a whole lot, but apparently if they're always hungry, that doesn't make any sense.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, that's kind of a ridiculous world though. Cause I think in like, in reality, I think one dude would be like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wait, wait, wait, wait, was he removed by Spotify or did he voluntarily leave?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If they can drag him away from his house, any one of us could be, you know?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, if I write it a lot, my left butt cheek gets real tight and sore. So I'm just going to have one huge ass cheek. It's going to look great. One of your calf.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, I'm right there where like, uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Really notice how much of that, um, Imagine Dragons is being used. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We were just talking about this like two nights ago, me, Brian and Bizzle, we were like, if-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like imagine dragons is the top down commercial.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Nah, that doesn't seem like a mead style.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When to go visit the sets that the show was being filmed at, like in South Georgia. And I was like, it's not that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, you know those, uh, do you know those like house flipper people on HGTV? Uh, there's like 20, 20.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They, they used to do like HDTV stuff and now they have like their own network.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then they also made like the Magnolia Network, which is like a streaming service thing that you can get like a subscription to. And then they have like a magazine, a cooking show now. Then they turned, they have like this Magnolia Superstore outlet and they've been like flipping houses in Waco, Texas. And they have like this huge store in Waco.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And like, when you think of Waco, Texas, like of course, the first thing that pops in your mind is like, you know, the, I was gonna say the government shooting all those like, kids or whatever at the Waco massacre, that's what, that's the only thing I think of.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Tourist destinations or like agrarian towns, which I don't think that is. So it's just a shithole. It's like when Twilight came out and everybody was like, let's go see Forks. Forks Washington. They go there and they're like, it's just meth and trailers. Like it's, where's the vampires and the sexy wolverines and shit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I did. I bought one of those recently.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That is, the Willem Dafoe one is really cool cause he's like on his little floating hovercraft glider thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. Yeah. But, I just, I feel like you can't have one. You said that earlier and you're absolutely right, you can't have one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know what's funny is I was just looking up like, I was like, there is one action figure that me and my brother love the most. And I remember...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was definitely my brother's favorite, like, but I was like really into it because he was into it. And I'm sitting there like, I was like looking it up and this thing, I found it. It was really hard to find someone sells it on Etsy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm trying to think of like, uh, I don't think we, I didn't have any like action figures. I wasn't big on that, but what I was big on was I had a remote control car and we would build ramps for it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know what you could do, poom, is-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is, uh, if you want to work out, like, a system where it doesn't feel like you're buying the Green Goblin, I can deduct it from your paycheck. I don't. And then you'll be like, oh, what do I got?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then there was, uh, like cowboy theme. I thought there was like a city too, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I had, I had like those three and I had the spaceman that was in like the Lego movie but mine was like just a big rubber, rubber made tub full of shit and like I would just end up building a spaceship with like a pirate mask sticking out the top like I had everything mismatched.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I forget how this person's even related to me, but it was just like a little kid. He's like seven and he got a bunch of those Lego sets.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, Baptist Church, uh, the Westboro Baptist Church. Like the guy that ran that church, the most homophobic dude of all time, he was, if I remember correctly, a civil rights lawyer in like the 60s.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I remember I went shopping down near FSU and I was just like surrounded by all these kids.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is what freshmen in college look like, they're like children, they're so young. And then it hit me because I was also at the peak of my sciatica issue.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm like a scooter, and then she'll just get up and keep running, like doesn't even look left or right.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I needed physical therapy for my back and everything. And I was like, woah, like that's a, he had like a life-threatening explosive injury, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, dude, the kids went to uh, preschool and they had like Valentine's Day at preschool and they got like all these candy bags.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] From danger and I'm like, babe, it's just like a sharp corner on the edge of a coffee table. Like she's, I'm not going to just like tape everything up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In like third grade or something like that. And like as I'm eating it, I'm sitting there talking to Bizzle. I'm like, dude, they have fun dip.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And uh, and I was sitting there thinking about it, and like the last time I ate Fun Dip,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You can't do a coke pinch, like a little, just pinch it, like salt.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's very true! Yea, they have nothing in common. They don't even have similar personalities. I feel like I'm describing my own marriage. They were together.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Real scale recreation of those chairs that they like, the prophets hover in in Halo.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I just remember like, they- when you bought the Xbox, they gave you the- the month.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like at that point, internet stuff was still kind of like, new. And so my mom was like, I am never going to put my credit card into it. Yeah, exactly.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Dude, when I was in, when I was in like middle school, my mom kicked me out of the house and I had to go live with my dad. And he was freshly divorced, still coming up on his feet and everything. And so he had a house down in, uh, in Newport, Ritchie. And.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] All it had in it was a fake leather couch and a little coffee table and a TV up against the wall and like a little bachelor pad, right? And then I just had a mattress on the floor. And, uh, what's funny is me and Abby were already dating at this point.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, uh, and like as he was like, hey, I'm going off to work. He would, that would wake me up and I would start playing and he would come home and he was just like, you're, you're still there on the couch, buddy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was, and then we knew, there's someone in our, in our friend group, Brian, um, Junior Box.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like time and effort went into just unlocking all the Haibusa armor and shit. Do you remember doing that? Like, you would unlock all that stuff and then one person in the friend group would be like, I need to get that Haibusa, will you guys help me? And it's like, aww fuck it, come on! And then you do it. Horrible.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And dude, that's why I have to go over and fix my grandma's DVR all the time because she's...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Six hundred fucking episodes of the rifleman, like, bonanza, out the ass, um, bonanza, the rifleman, uh, there's like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's funny cause she's not like a Jeopardy person, I don't think she ever gets like the...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Did you see that, uh, when the, the guy, Alex Trebek, when he died? They, they had to- What? Yeah, the-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He ended up getting the job and then they found out that like he made a joke that was racist or something on a podcast in like 2008.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you were to do a game show, what uh, what game show would you do?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, cause like, yeah, for example, like, Wheel of Fortune is just bullshit. Like, you get fucked over by the wheel all the time. That's like what an idiot would play. But then-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I feel like a gambler when I do Jeopardy because I'll watch it all week and I'll answer none right and then I'll have one night where I get like most of the answers on one column and I'm like


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] God, I've never felt so stupid in my life, but Kaylar just is so stupid that he doesn't get how stupid we were because we just went through probably 60 questions where everybody's just like, I have no idea.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And did like the movies and everything, but they were all around for a long ass time. I thought it was like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So yeaah, I can totally see it. Didn't they have like a, uhm, three stooges as kids movie recently? I feel like that was-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think I was, I was watching, uh, what's it called, uhm, Abbott and Costello. I was watching, uh, like a big compilation of them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Little bits they had in, uh, God, what movie was that? I think they're in like-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay. Take your time. Come back on a Razor scooter.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Would you give me a little minx? What? What are you eating?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What's the poet, uh, poem by, uh, Robert Frost?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Real talk though, real talk though. Kings has been, Kings and his girlfriend have been great hosts. We've been fed.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, Aqua went to sleep like an old man at 11.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] 12. Okay. I laid down in bed and there's, there's, there's clips. Uh, I don't know if you guys want to see it. There's one of- He did scare us. I scared the shit out of him. That is a good one. That is a good one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Deki, oh my god, it was perfect timing. If you look at this, perfect. Deki goes up to the window, I hold. I wait.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think you'll have to describe it, but when he turned around, I've never seen somebody's eyes get so wide in their mouths.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That was night one. We've done some other stuff. Oh, wait, no, no, that's not even night one. Cause you've been smelling this whole time. I know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, so I'm sleeping in bed and we have the timer, right? It's going down. Uhm, and they're like getting all snuggly and they're like giggling and having their little sleep over.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I ask Chad, I say, I'll tell Chad, I rounded up to the nearest hour, I said, if it hits this hour, I go downstairs.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I disable, uh, spam protection on text to speech.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I don't know if you've seen those, those things where the thousand L's a thousand.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it takes me a while, but I set it up. Deki helps me set it up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And as soon as the first message came in, there's a clip of Akko reacting to it. And he's like looking like into the night cam.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Decky's a tortured soul. Uh, he's been sleeping down here every night and he's, he slept down here last night. I did.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, there's, there's a, there's a clip I'm not going to share with you guys cause it's too bad. It's like you guys. But it's clipped.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, what's this stupid fucking secret neighbor game?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was worse than that. It was worse than, you're gonna, I know what you're doing. You didn't say the right word cause you want me to say the right word. So you can sleep it and then go ahead.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sam, this guy, planning something with this guy, you can barely get him to do one podcast a week.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What do you, uh, what do you prove on this podcast? You need to finish your point. This bag having comments.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, probably recent events have been up for a while, but also I, I've been a little, I don't know, you know, when I've been sitting in here.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He actually wrote up a sign underneath right here and he was like, help.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I would be here and then, uhm, John the Cafe would be out of frame.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] To the sky. It was three questions, right? It was three questions.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think out of anybody. Wait, wasn't your first guest? What? Ms. Tricks? Or one of them? Ms. Vex.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You really should. You should, you should get a few of your, I would love to see you get, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Did you ever try to enter into gaming? Shit, fucker.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wait, what you're saying is the girl he knocked up and then married in a year with him.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Whenever he doesn't get invited to hunt, shit happens.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know if there's giblets, we're not that south.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You should bring Deki on as an actual get, dude, seriously, like Deki's a really interesting fucking person. You bring him in for a proper episode and talk to him about his palate because he can't eat.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it's, this happened on the, on the stream too. He grabs it. It's actually a clip as well. Uh, but they're.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh what? But Dekki's like genuinely like, how do you operate?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm going to take it from you. Spoon kids stream. I don't know if there's somebody else did it first. I saw spoon kid do it first. Reverse subathon. You do, you go 24 hours and you started the thing at 48, 24, whatever subs take off time. And then you just go, you flex, you say I have too much. I need less money. The IRS is, you know, you gotta get.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] See, that's just how animalistic poof is.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Speedo ish. Items is setting up a boxing tournament.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah, he, he, Ricegum called him out in his girlfriend's DMs. Uhm, and then he said, Idoz was like, alright, I'll set it up. And then he set it up and Ricegum was like, JK. And...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I sabotaged Aqua in the Lego building tournament. It was fun. I took his Legos.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I knew in that moment, like, it's funny, it's funny because, you know, if you had tuned in at any other point in the stream, I wouldn't have been playing. I knew something in me told me that General Sam123 is going to be tuning into the livestream.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I feel like a biker bar can't really truly be defined as like a real biker bar if it has a fucking ping pong table in it, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Have you ever, have you ever been to one of those bars, have you ever been to one of those bars that have like, it's hard to describe, it's almost like, uh, like a shuffleboard but with like sand on this little like, it's like a very thin grid and you like slide it across, yea yea yea the table.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's like, I've only been to one bar that's had that specific thing in it, but that's like the most fun that I've had at a bar, like at one of those games. It's like, weirdly like when you're drunk, it's like the best competition of skill, cause you're both like, fucking,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Toked out your goddamn skull or whatever. Just trying to slide your balls into your other man's hole.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, last time he did like a rollerblading thing, like on his nuts.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, uh, Sam, I heard that you and Peanut have been beefing recently. We have? Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, we're, we're all trying to go. Uh, I think Pina and I are trying to save up for it. Um, yeah, I'm, I'm more, I'm the one that's more like on the fence about it at the moment.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's the weird science sequel, oh my god.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But it's, but it's, it's less pointy, but it's more thick, so it's less like you're being pricked, and more like you're being fucking caped. I think women should have a little penis inside of their vagina.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Originally, yeah, originally we weren't from here, cause we moved to San Diego. He's from here.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, other way around. Um, yeah, cause young, young nut is from, uh, Texas. He won't shut up about it, but, um, you know, uh, and then I'm from Northern California, Bay area.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was like, we were cool first and, uh, one webby knew that we both, um, edited and he, he hired us for like, um,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like random things like Peanut flew out to film the Angelic Initiative thing that he did for his channel, uh, way back when. And then, uhm, he had me edit some things here and there for, uhm, the main channel that he has.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just a like random compilation things. And then we, he came to us with the idea of like, Hey, let's do a show and we should work on the show together. Um, and as it, we got together like a pitch deck and like it started to become a little bit more real. We were like, we might have to get like a studio in like out here where Webby was.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so he's like, he's like, so get ready to move if that happens. And then unfortunately it fell through at the time. And so he was like, damn, that sucks. But also like you guys should just move down here anyway, so that if we do that in the future, it's less of a, Hey, it's happening right now. Get over here right now. Like you're just established here.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The show was a project that we were working on to pitch to another company.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But yeaah, and then when we moved out here, uhm, cause he was basically like, hey move out here and then just kinda live here for whenever we do stuff. But then, after a few months of us living here, he was like, hey do you guys wanna make like a highlight channel for the stream?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause like to separate stream content from his main channel.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, I did like a thing here and there for the main channel, and then he- Peanut filmed stuff for some of his main channel videos. But then, it wasn't like a regular thing. And so-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Then for the highlight channel, he was like just randomly like, Hey, we should just do this. It's, I mean, if we do it right, it's like easy viewership and money. If you know, we do it consistently and then it started to pick up and then it got to the point where we're like, Hey, we can like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do two videos a week instead of one and then quit the jobs that we're doing so that we can do this full time with the amount of money that we were making at the time. So, and then yeah, that's how it's been for like a little over a year.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just whoever goes on to their podcast next, have them hire like a dude who lays all information to them that's unaffiliated, but like you're still there in the podcast, so like Poob is sitting there, sunglasses on, just


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, there's little things, and I think that uhm, anybody's edited anything. It's like, whenever you're editing something and someone like trips over their words, or like uhm, there's like a weird noise that they make, you're just like, I can't, I'm not gonna do my board dirty like this, I'll cut it, I'll cut it in such a way that makes it look like it came across exactly the way you wanted it to. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] At a certain point, he couldn't focus. He was in such like a, uh, uh, like a zen mode that he was sitting there like, at the time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The new like black ops zombies or something came out and so he was sitting there like, I have to, I have to not talk to anybody on stream right now. I have to just.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So on this bingo- oh shit, is it backwards for you?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I have, asking me about editing, uh, awkward silence, and then Poob does a green screen bit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Other ideas to put like more spaces, uh, for the grid. I also had, if Sam rides, uh, the little scooter on the podcast, uh, I'll have to take a shot.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The editing comes out. TikTok, you could, you could be a literal nobody and one of your TikToks goes viral with like fucking 2 million views.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Now granted, I don't think that TikTok has like the same, uh, retaining power that other platforms have, but it's still, the power of TikTok is weirdly widespread.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's, it's pretty fucking good. I think it's gonna be hard to come back to like, if they make anything but an open world style with like, bosses everywhere.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think people are just gonna boo it into existence or out of existence. Just like, and also they're never going to give us a jump button ever again with the amount of shit, amount of cheese that people are doing with, with the game.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Fuck him. Shred cheese on that thing, dude. Fuck him.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do you have a picture of his dog? I wanna see this shit now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I don't actually know. I think he just wasn't vaccinated and he died.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So hey, did uh, did that fat fuck of yours and that retard with the dumb mustache, did they turn into those forms yet?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cool. Oh, I'm just trying to think of who that was.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wait, $70 a month? What the hell kind of gym is that? It's like really nice, but I just- Sounds really funny.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Jesus Christ, that's gross.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I had neighborhood buddies, yea, but. You guys never shit and wrestled?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I'm trying to get a little Brendan Fraser look going, honestly.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And he had some horrible Hollywood experiences.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A hundred and five dollars. Man.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Not too familiar with OnlyFans pricing. You know, I'll go, you want me to go first this time? Yeah, you go first. Okay, I'm gonna say.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Damn, I feel like she's desperate with all this pee stuff. I'm gonna say...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] $30, $20. Can I do that? Can I just redact what I- $20. Is that- fuck, is that way too cheap? That's your- is that-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] These, these assholes are charging $80 for, for this plate.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, okay, well I lock in. 80 bucks? Yeaah. Okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm gonna go even higher. I feel like this guy's, you know, it's one of those joke eBay listings where they're like, hey, maybe someone crazy will buy it one day. Let's say a thousand dollars.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Fuck, I don't know if it's stupid, like I don't know in which direction it's stupid, uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause you see those things where it's like, get a $50 gift card for $40, like, ugh. I'm gonna say it's, it's $65.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, yeah, I guess it's a Delta Airlines gift card. I didn't even know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Or what if it actually equals exactly 50 with the shipping too? Oh god.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm going to say this has got all the looks of the mall ninja sword or something. All these descriptions trying to make it seem like more than it is. I have one. Do you want me to go get it? Do you want to?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm gonna go with way lower, cause...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're- I don't know. I can't imagine you spending that much on that and not in the Eves lounge chair. He's cheap! Yea, uh, Eli barely pays Brian and I.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, so I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say a hundred and fifty dollars.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wasn't really looking for any head scratches. Seems like he had bad form.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's just my initial thought. Then again, I don't, you know, I don't know the people's situations that they're, they're hiring this guy. I'll, I'll, I'll redact my That's Sad depending on the price. But if he's overcharging for this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is this the last one- I need to know how- what the stakes are on this question itself. I think this might be like the second-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Don't look that up, Pooh. Yeah, don't look that up. Is it a subcategory of just an overarching animal cruelty law or is this like its own? It's like a misdemeanor.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, boar from a helicopter would be like, hey look at this huge boar, you know?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A rabbit's foot is a good luck charm. And those are... That's priceless. So...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Let's say three hundred dollars. Uhm, because...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They rent this out for parties or anything on a little weekend.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, so, is the price you're asking the price to buy the house?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is that? I have no idea how many acres that is. Man, if I knew the acres, I'd know the exact price of this house.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm gonna say 45 million.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wow, that is remarkable. Is Indian Hills, like, what part, is this northern, or southern? It must be southern, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, it's what you're on. Seems ridiculous.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It just doesn't make sense. The floor with the, with the backsplash and, uh, the island, yeaah, it's all like, it's like an optical illusion or something.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, it's actually worse with the glasses off somehow. Glasses had a nice symmetry to you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's for the viewers, you know, they really like those little details. It's important to maintain.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You can't mix all those meats in your tummy. You could get upset. What are you doing?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They were a good therapist, they could probably pick it out pretty quickly too.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I wouldn't talk like I do on a podcast. I think that's a very normal thing. Like I wouldn't.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I know your crowd, I think is kinda what you guys aren't getting. Maybe. I don't know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Let me make it more broad. If you've gone this far, if you've gone through school, the easiest time to make IRL friends.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And you never made one friend. Now in your adult life, when you have kids and a wife, I doubt you're gonna be blossoming into, you know, social circles. Uh, unless like TwitchCon reopens or something. You can go there and get some more like little minions or whatever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, speaking of Twitch cons and stuff, you know, I, I kinda, I have a little bit of interest when things reopen, you know, if my, you know, whatever, Twitch keeps going well.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, but I don't, it seems like from like the videos I've seen, just going with a bunch of friends and renting a house and partying there is so much better than actually going physical TwitchCon or whatever VidCon. Uh, is this a question or anything?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, I have a great time, like every time. Yeah, there's nothing but upbeat. Fuck yeah. And I'm at the age where it's like, you know, in a year or two, then I'll start. He's 31. I'm not 31. I'm 22, so it's like, I've got, you know, I've got a year before I'm like, this is...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think, I think, I definitely have toned it down like when I used to do drunk streams all the time. Because those were so fun, like I love-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know when you get drunk you get more social typically, like on Twitch it's really fun, but however smoked I get like, I'm not like an anxious smoker, but Twitch, like oh my god they're sick.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] All these people are watching me. It's like, you know, imagine this is my high school gym. These people are watching me, but...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, I guess I don't know where I'm going with this and I don't like that Sam and Brian are just staring at me like this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And like, I've been kinda, you know, I've been slowing down recently. I went out last night, you know, to an outdoor place. It was nice, all regulated.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No. And then I was trying to think in my head like, wow, did anything cool happen when I was out there? Like anything I could talk about on the podcast? No.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, nothing. My friend, I guess my best friend, he was like, what are you doing tomorrow? I mentioned this. I had no idea, but he's just a massive fan of Critical.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I will, and just me, just you saying that, he'll be like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] His name is Cash. Here, let me get one on my GoXLR. Do you wanna give him a... Maybe say something mean to him. That'd be funny.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've got these tiny ass fucking hands, like I can't play basketball, I can't slap well.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I get, I can binge drink. Yea, that's awesome. You got friends? My parents don't know. Yea.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When I, I used to play golf, and uh, That should help. It was really bad, no, but I didn't know that was an intimidation tactic. I'd always bring snacks, and I'd just offer them to the guys I was going against. Everyone took it so seriously though, I'm awful at golf.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They would be offended by me asking them if they want fucking food. I'm like, dude, I know I'm gonna lose today, like, just, you know, take some fucking food. Whatever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I played two years in high school and my coach was like, you fu- you fucking suck.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Dude, like, you know, I go into a really small school too, so I was basically just instantly on the team, but yeah, the coach and all my teammates have basically forced me off.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's not bad. Yeah, good. I feel bad for the guy. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's fucking awesome. He's hilarious. He's a master of physical comedy. He's so good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hey man, keep drinking your fucking coffee, see where it gets you. See where it gets you. Keep sippin'.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I fucking, I'd go to bed at 8pm if I had, if I had a fucking child.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Dude, I'm 33, I've had plenty of time to like, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The funny thing is, I don't even remember reaching out to you to do a video, but if I go back into our Twitter history, you have a really weird way


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I have massive DMing people. Uhm, you say the- I-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'd like to point out that your Templar helmet is an icon of religiously zealotry. I'd really appreciate it if you'd shade it for something less controversial like this. And then you sent me a picture of a


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, but, and my response to that was, you make it very hard for me to follow you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I feel like I've, I've definitely, I've followed you for a while and I think there was, I think there was like one time where I, where I was like, that's it. And then I had followed you. And then, and then I think like six or seven months later, I was like, all right, I'll give him another shot. And then I followed you again.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, no, it was, I followed you and then I unfollowed and I could say a bad thing happened and then, and then, and then yeaah, you came back. Do you know what it was that made me unfollow you? And we're all good now, just so we're clear, like we're all good now. It was, it was when Donut Operator accidentally put his cat in the washing machine.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, and it almost died, and you had like responded to the tweet by saying like, ha ha ha, or like, I can't stop laughing, this is hilarious. Wait. And, and,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And for some reason that it really pissed me off, cause I really like cats, I have two of my own. I was like, that's it, this is the final shrug.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What I'm assuming is that he had the washing machine with the dryer open and it had all the clothes in it and the cat probably just walked in when he wasn't looking and then he closed it, didn't realize the cat was in it and spun it around. But thank God the cat survived. Squirt is okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sorry if this is awkward. Sorry if this is awkward to you Sam.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh yeaah. That's so much. That's part of the job. I mean, come on. No, no, I fuck with it. I love it. You know, I've been a fan of your content for like the last fucking four or five years.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I like to, dude, I like to, dude, I honestly, and I say this like, completely like, no lie, I really enjoyed the fuck out of your Kenshi videos, and I'd really love you to make more.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So what? So you had your first and now you have a second?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That would, that would probably drastically improve your chances of succeeding amongst the youngsters. Maybe do TikToks? Maybe, maybe do some like, some TikTok dances?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah dude, I mean look, if they're seventeen years old and nine months, like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know what it is dude, I don't know, I don't know what it is about, you know?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I, I, I think it's just because a lot of the people that blow up are just...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Online? In Discord? And the thing is, it's not only like, you know, I mean, everybody knows, like, oh yea, influencers, you know,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, but I, you know, it is not even influencers that do that shit. It's like, it's a fucking big problem. Like, if you run a Discord server as a content creator, even as somebody who's like a streamer or whatever, and you're running a small community on Discord,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, you- you'll know, like, how many fucking weirdos there are, like, I can't tell you how many, like, Discord minds that- that I've had.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like on my server, people who, who like I don't really talk to, people that like volunteer to keep it running and I'm like, okay, sure. And then boom, like two months later, there's a fucking report where they're like trying to fucking slide into like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, people's DMs, and they're just like, okay, well, you're a pedophile, I'm gonna have to ban you, you're fucking disgusting. It happened, like, over the years, like, four or five or six or seven of them, and it's not even just, like, for my servers, for like, so many.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Please, just a scrap of pussy, please just send me your pussy. Like, like that all over Discord, you know, like, like, oh you're 17? Haha, I'm 16, but in reality they're fucking 35, like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Fuckin' 23 or whatever the fuck. And then, and then you have these women that go on, they're like in fucking high school, they have fucking issues upon issues.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then they're just actively baiting people in the chat, like being super sexual, being like super inappropriate. And there was like this fucking big, I don't know what it was, maybe it was just that fucking time of the season.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Or maybe it's cause like, fucking lockdown just started and everyone was getting horny. But on my, like on my discord I go into general chat and it's just people fucking talking about like, sex and sexual shit. I'm like, I have to like, interject as the owner of the channel and be like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you guys keep talking about this, I'm just gonna fuckin' ban everybody, like, that's saying this shit. You know, like, it's fuckin' weird. It, it, it's really fuckin' peculiar. Hmm.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But yea, yea, definitely a rule of thumb if you're a content creator or somebody who is becoming a content creator.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, you know, this isn't the fucking 1980s. Like, you're not a rockstar. You're not, you know, you don't, you don't get groupies. Like, there's no, like, groupie culture does not, like, exist in, like, the modern era at all.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, all you're doing is, is using your position of power to take advantage of somebody that desperately wants your attention and wants to be cool. You know? Like, that's, that's the thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Look, it's not illegal so long as they're over age, but it's just morally questionable.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, I don't even think, I don't think it's like a matter of legality, uhm, when it's like, you know, you're, you're, you know, you're messaging, you know, cause, you know, it's like, well, if you're messaging a minor, and getting nudes, then, like, you're a bit of a fuckhead, and you probably deserve some kind of, you know, retribution.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, no, no, he wasn't at that thing. I think he was in town. Keemstar was over at Airbnb, we were just chatting shit with him and having beers.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It sucks, it's really sad, it's really sad to see, cause I used to watch that dude's content, but like, the more, the more his life progresses, the more he's turning into a 40 year old and can't let go of, of early 2000s frat culture college.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I hate, I hate seeing a 40 year old man with a backwards baseball cap and like a fucking basketball jersey. It makes me so uncomfortable. It's like the sign that a man


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Damn son. This is not like being on my head.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Good to go, shits in a box, pisses in a box, drinks and eats, lounges and plays, and that's it. Like, that's all I want. Rescue, with rescue, it's like, it's the nice, good moral thing to do, but also,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I can't be fucked to have a cat that could be like, completely horrific, like, to own. I'm not equipped to do that and the cat would suffer as much as I would.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like I want two healthy animals that I can take care of. You know, if I was a fucking 50 year old and like retired and had nothing else to do besides, you know, nurture cats and rescue them and foster them, then I'll do that. But I'm not in that position. I'd rather just have two working, like healthy animals that are cute.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What do you mean worst people? Australia is fucking hectic. Yea, Australia is.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Ours is great. We don't have to worry about fucking COVID. Everybody, we had a lockdown for four months. It was fucking awful. But now, now there's like no COVID in Melbourne. There's none.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, I'm just trying to get me fucking Centrelink so I can go get more durries from the fucking server.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, buggans are like, buggans are like pretty legit, you know, they're like, you know, it's just like, icy white trash kind of deal.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah. They have mullets and mystache and they smoke duries. And yeaah. Fuckin' duries. Siggies. Siggies.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, like, nah, not really. I pick up, like, phrases and how I say shit. And, you know, I'd be like, oh yeah, I'll be there early, Arvo. Like, yeah, I reckon we do this. Uh, there's like other shit that I pick up. I say cunt a lot more. I say cunt way more.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Dude, you know how fucked up it is that YouTube treats the word cunt the same way they treat the word, like, like, the, the F slur and, and the, the N word. Uh, yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, they literally treat it the same. If you go into like the main, like you have to review the video yourself to tell the bot and YouTube like how bad is the video. When you go to language like, like profanity, there's like light profanity, which is like shit, damn, ass.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Would be after the first 30 seconds, like intro of the video after the intro. That would be considered like fine.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, but then there's, then there's like extreme profanity, which is like the N-word, uh, F-slur and, uh, and cunt.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You can't say cunt and it treats it like you're saying the n-word. I don't know, it's cause they're all a bunch of fucking pussies in, in, in, in America and apparently saying the word cunt makes, makes all the fucking, all the women in the world fucking clutch their, their fucking pearl necklaces.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. I mean, I think that's fair. I think that's a fair assessment.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I do too, I, I'll do it for cunt occasionally, uhm, but, I dunno, it's, it's fucking, it gets to a point where I'm like, does this shit even, does this fucking matter? Fuck it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Retort? I'm fine with saying retort, dude. I think retort is, is, is, is something that, that is, uh, moderated. Maybe? Maybe?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] People are trying to equate it to the same, to the same like pedestal as the n-word. They don't get that. You know, the epsilon. I don't fucking understand it. I really don't.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah, I mean like an etymologist, like, would say, I'm pretty sure etymology is the study of like linguistics and words and dialogue, dialogue, that kind of shit. I'm pretty sure from that perspective, there is a phenomenon known as the, uh... The retard effect. No, no. The derog, it's called like, I think the derogatory treadmill? It's where...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They will make a word that is politically correct.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then, like, this is the accepted term. The last term is offensive and not right. Don't use this term. This is the new term.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That, that, you know, the PC culture has, you know, like before it was, you know, it went from like, this guy, you know, this, this student is retarded, he has delayed learning, retarded, retardo, like from, from fucking music, it means to slow.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's slow, like, you know, you know, a disability in learning.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, and also other aspects, uh, like that way. That was like, okay, retarded.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, you know, cause everybody is going to then say, well, you're a fucking retard. To each other. And then people are gonna say like, okay, well this is, you know, we no longer consider this to be


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Are you gonna try, are you gonna try for a third, see if you can get a man, but then you might be stuck with three girls? No, no, no. I wanted daughters, man. Daughters are cool. Yeah?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've been, yeah, I had my, I did like my house tour like last year. That was the house that I was in for like about 13-14 months and then I just recently moved. So I'm in a new place now. Oh, okay. Yeah. It's been two years. Were you in a gamer house? Yes, I was in the Misfits house, yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, you know, it was, it was like, it was, it was me, and it was me, I Notorious, uh, Toby Andetali, uh, Zockels, and, uh, and McCreamy. Um, McCreamy, McCreamy left, he moved out, got his own place, uh, and then it was just like, the four of us, and then,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Later and later on is like the lease progressed and then it was like towards the end of the year. I mean like the idea was that once the house is like ending, like we all get our own, we all get our own house, we all get our own living situation and then we start going into the office together.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And that's, and that's basically what we've done, you know, and that was like the idea from the get-go. Like there was no fallout or anything, it's just that, you know, we weren't really the best tenants, uhm, so...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's her, yeaah, it's her molded asshole. We did a podcast with her not too long ago and she gave it to all of us as a gift. So we have, we had her assholed first lights. Yeaah, it was like six fucking flashlights.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, I don't want to let the value deteriorate. But I know, I know, uh, Zuckles, um, fucked his, like, the night that he got it. And then, uh, and then he was like, he couldn't be fucked to clean it, so he just threw it out. It was one use and he threw it out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know what your dosage is? Are you dosing properly?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I had no idea, that was my first time. Whenever, when we were in LA, uhm, the last time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, every time we're in LA we do this, which is kind of stupid, but, you know, everybody pretty much around me is a stoner. So we'll go to LA, we'll get a ton of weed, and we'll get a bunch of snacks.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it like, like chips and chocolate and cookies and, and nerd rope and, and all these, all these, you know, every kind of candy you can imagine, any kind of salty snack.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, so we have, we have this big bench, or a big table, and then we would put all of the shit on the table. And, you know, I, I'm a bit of a fuckhead.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because I thought it would be, like, a smart idea, cause I looked at this like this. We had weed, we had weed, wax, uh, bongs, pipes, joints.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, and then we had edibles, like a ton of different edibles, tinctures, all that, and then we had our snacks. And so I'm trying to figure out a way to organize this, like, and sort it out so that it looks pretty and it makes sense. And for me, I was like, well, first you have the weed.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then you have the weed snacks, all the edibles, and then you have the actual snacks to eat. So like, it's like a gradient from weed, weed snack, snack. And I, and I thought there wouldn't be a fucking problem until


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] All the misfits leave to go somewhere, and we leave the house behind, uh, to the lunch club guys, and Ted Niveson,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He grabs a nerd's rope and eats it cause he's like, nerd's rope? I haven't had this in like 10 years. I'm gonna have a nerd's rope. And then he eats the fucking nerd's rope. And then they realize he had a dinner with his, with his, with his girlfriend at the time. Uh, with, with her, with her dad as well, I think.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, he's funny as fuck. Carbohydrate, bad bananas, Kraken, all them. I've been watching Kraken since fucking like 2007. The Laugh 4 Dead shit. Man.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know what I mean? Testing, testing. Who's the first person to get menopause? I didn't actually end the recording, so I think we're still good. I think everything is working.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I fell back in my chair, and my foot unplugged the goyx alarm and fucked everything up.