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[Assistant] But, he didn't leave them much to live with.


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[Assistant] This time, the emperor's clemency extended to living things only, and he ordered his men to level the city.


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[Assistant] A few of the more important religious buildings were left untouched and still sit in the Syrian desert to this day. But the rest of the city was destroyed.


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[Assistant] Aurelion had no intention of making this trip to the desert a third time.


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[Assistant] To further guarantee this, the emperor rerouted all east-west trade routes so that they bypassed the city, leaving Palmyra economically and existentially strangled.


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[Assistant] Its citizens drifted off as refugees to start new lives in new towns and the great Oasis city in the desert was no more.


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[Assistant] Aurelian then turned on Alexandria and quickly brought an end to the revolt there that had neither the men nor the resources to actually work without Palmyrene assistance.


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[Assistant] As with Palmyra, Aurelian did not take kindly to the Alexandrians revolting again so soon after being bought back into the Roman fold.


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[Assistant] He let his men off the leash and allowed them to plunder the city with savage abandon.


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[Assistant] It was during this punitive sacking that the royal quarter, which either contained or had contained the Library of Alexandria, was burned to the ground, leading some to lay the destruction of that great storehouse of knowledge at Aurelian's feet.


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[Assistant] The jury is still out on when the library was actually destroyed and probably will remain so until we invent ourselves a time machine.


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[Assistant] With clemency having brought most of the east back into the fold, and cold-hearted brutality bringing the rest into line, Aurelion's career east of the Hellespont was over.


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[Assistant] By the end of 273, he was back in Rome, attending to long put-off civil matters, but more importantly, working up a plan to reconquer the Gallic provinces.


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[Assistant] A recon quest he can now finally turn his full attention to.


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[Assistant] The leaders of the Gallic Empire had been granted a stay of execution by Aurelian's preoccupation with the East.


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[Assistant] But with the emperor back in Italy, they knew it would not be long before he turned his fearsome attention on their little slice of the empire.


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[Assistant] That he did not celebrate a triumph for his victory over Palmyra was all the men of the Gallic Empire needed to know about Aurelian's intentions.


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[Assistant] Why throw two small triumphs when you can throw one great big one to celebrate full reunification?


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[Assistant] When last we left the Gallic Empire in 270, Apostumus was dead and a man by the name of Victorinus had risen to take his place as Emperor of the West.


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[Assistant] Victorina successfully saw the Gallic Empire transition from the personal domain of posthumous into a freestanding political entity.


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[Assistant] Victorinus vigorously pursued the Rhine defenses, just as posthumous had, and spent the majority of his time in office battling back the Franks on the lower half of the river.


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[Assistant] But though he had the loyalty of the army and the government, Victorinus' conduct in private earned him personal enemies, and it was these personal enemies who eventually took him down.


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[Assistant] The conventional story is that Victorinus made advances on the wife of one of his officers, and that as soon as he had the opportunity, the officer in question assassinated the lecherous emperor.


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[Assistant] The story may or may not be true, as jilted underlings is a standard trope of ancient literature.


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[Assistant] But whatever the reason, Victorinus was killed in 271, leaving the Gallic Empire leaderless once again.


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[Assistant] Rising up to fill the void was a man named Asuvius Tetricus, who was likely a provincial governor at the time.


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[Assistant] Possibly with the backing of Victorinus' mother, Victoria, whose bank accounts had bought the throne for her son.


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[Assistant] Tetricus was quickly installed and the Gallic Empire was put back on firm footing.


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[Assistant] I say possibly with the backing of Victorinus' mother, because there is reason to doubt her existence at all. God, I love the third century.


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[Assistant] Tetrakis was not a weak ruler, or a weak man, but the future course of his career has tended to leave him with a reputation as something of a coward.


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[Assistant] For three years though, he held the remaining provinces of the Gallic Empire together and enjoyed the support of the Rhine legions, whom he led to victory against the Franks on more than one occasion.


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[Assistant] But by the opening of 274, Tetrakis found himself facing a serious problem.


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[Assistant] Aurelian was back in Rome plotting his downfall, and his friends and advisors were beginning to think seriously about the future.


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[Assistant] With a fatalist mood beginning to take hold, the governor of Belgica, a man named Faustinus, revolted and seized Tetricus's capital of Trier, while the Gallic emperor was in the south, attempting to regain the territory that had been previously lost during the reign of Claudius Gothicus.


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[Assistant] Tetrarchus led his army back up north and Faustinus quickly gave up his bid for power.


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[Assistant] Knowing full well the state of Posthumus, Tetricus allowed his men to sac Trier, even though it was the emperor's own capital.


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[Assistant] In both psychological and material value, the sacking of the Gallic capital was bad news for the Gallic Empire.


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[Assistant] Aurelion could not have cared less about Tetricus's problems.


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[Assistant] Fully united or internally fractured, the Gallic Empire was going down.


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[Assistant] As soon as the campaign season of 274 opened for business, Aurelian was on the move north.


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[Assistant] Operating out of the beachhead in the Rhone Valley established during the reign of Claudius.


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[Assistant] Aurelian quickly secured the surrender of any town, city, or individual he met.


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[Assistant] While Tetricus and the Rhine army attempted to find a suitable position from which to face Aurelion when the final showdown came.


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[Assistant] The suitable position they decided on were the plains outside of Chalon in what is now northeastern France. And in due course, Aurelian and his army progressed up to meet them.


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[Assistant] There are some reports, and some evidence to back the claim, that a full-on battle was fought between the Imperial army and the Rhine legions, and that after a bloody, vicious day, Aurelian captured Tetricus, which decisively turned the tide in Rome's favor.


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[Assistant] But the more familiar legend has it that Tetricus and Aurelion worked out a deal prior to the battle.


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[Assistant] Knowing he could not withstand Aurelian's invasion, Tetricus would line up his men for battle, and then, right before the fighting began, he promised to surrender himself to Aurelian. In exchange for this bloodless victory, Tetricus and his son would be allowed to live.


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[Assistant] A third tradition maintains that both the prearranged surrender and the bloody battle took place.


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[Assistant] But the only way this last version makes sense is if you believe the ryan legions decided to carry on the fight without a leader, which seems impractical to the point of unbelieveability.


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[Assistant] Or you could believe that Aurelian forced the Rhine legions to fight him as punishment for their transgressions or something.


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[Assistant] But the loss of perfectly useful manpower this revenge battle would have entailed seems like it would have been too much for Aurelion to justify.


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[Assistant] So I reckon either there was no deal and Tetricus led his men into battle and lost, or there was a deal and no battle followed. Pick your poison.


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[Assistant] Either way, Tetrakis fell into Aurelian's hands, and the Gallic Empire, independent for 14 years now, was dissolved.


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[Assistant] Following his standard MO, Aurelian tempered his iron will with a generous spirit when dealing with the defeated Gallic provinces.


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[Assistant] He wanted reintegration to proceed as quickly and seamlessly as possible, so he undertook no post-war purges, and for the most part, left magistrates appointed by the Gallic emperors in place.


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[Assistant] Resumes posted on grave markers attest to the ease with which service in the Gallic Empire was recognized as a valid step up the career ladder in the now reunified empire.


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[Assistant] The only major change Aurelian made was to relocate the main Gallic mint from the far off and repeatedly seditious city of Trier to the city of Lyon in southern Gaul, where it could be better controlled.


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[Assistant] This move was also undertaken as a part of Aurelian's wider fiscal reforms, which he could now implement fully across the empire.


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[Assistant] Without any sophisticated knowledge of how economics worked, Aurelian did not tackle the big problem of inflation, which was just beginning to make itself known.


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[Assistant] But he had a deep understanding of the problem of coin devaluation, and particularly, of the effects it had on the army.


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[Assistant] Keeping the troops paid and paid on time was the key to everything.


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[Assistant] And if the Imperial Mint kept spitting out worthless hunks of metal, then the Empire was going to have a very big problem on its hands very soon. The problems Aurelian sought was two-fold.


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[Assistant] First, official imperial policy was ordering teabasement.


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[Assistant] And second, there was very little oversight over the local mints.


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[Assistant] A related problem was where the mints were geographically located.


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[Assistant] With just a few main coining centers, problems at one location caused issues across multiple provinces and potentially affected hundreds of thousands of soldiers.


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[Assistant] So, following Gallienus' lead, Aurelion further multiplied the number of mints across the empire, basically giving each major garrison its own mint.


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[Assistant] At the same time, he centralized the coining bureaucracy and put the entire operation under the auspices of an imperial agent, answerable directly to the emperor.


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[Assistant] The days of local operators producing coins of dubious value were now at an end.


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[Assistant] With these changes in place, Aurelion could then do something like order the silver content of a standard Denarius to be raised to 5% and feel confident that his orders would be carried out.


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[Assistant] Aurelian stabilization of the currency system turned back the tide of the worst effects of debasement.


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[Assistant] But as I just hinted, it did nothing to help with the problem of inflation.


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[Assistant] A problem which was likely exacerbated by the proliferation of new coining centers. Inflation would be left to his successors to deal with. And boy, will they have fun with that one.


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[Assistant] Aurelion's legacy was secure. He had reunited the Empire. And that was how his contemporaries planned to remember him.


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[Assistant] With the Palmyrene and Gallic empires defeated and Rome's dominance reasserted over all her previous domains, well, except for poor Audacia.


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[Assistant] Aurelian returned to Roman triumph, and, well, threw himself a triumph.


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[Assistant] Zenobia and Tetricus were the star attractions, and the two defeated monarchs were led through the streets and chains. But they were not the only stars.


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[Assistant] Exotic prisoners from the east were also on full display, as was the abundant wealth and treasure stolen from the defeated Palmyrenes. These were heady days for the jubilant Romans.


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[Assistant] For the past few decades, their empire without end had looked a lot like it was going to end.


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[Assistant] But now, Aurelian marched through the streets of the Eternal City as one of the greatest heroes in Roman history.


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[Assistant] This Alarian general had given them back their empire.


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[Assistant] In gratitude, the Senate vowed him the grandiose, but not at all undeserved title, restitute or orbis, the restorer of the world.


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[Assistant] This new title was often combined with the further adjective invictus.


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[Assistant] Aurelian was well aware that his now four years in office had been nothing less than a string of complete and unqualified successes.


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[Assistant] Apart from the one minor setback against the Jithungi outside Placentia at the outset of his reign.


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[Assistant] Aurelion was undefeated in the field and had accomplished all that he had set out to do.


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[Assistant] While no doubt recognizing that his own native talents were to be credited, success of this kind in the ancient world usually called for recognition of something more.


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[Assistant] The classical world, as you may know, was awash in patron deities who were believed to ensure good ends for their mortal clients.


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[Assistant] We need look no further than the divine aid Apollo granted Augustus throughout the first emperor's providential career to understand the archetype we're talking about.


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[Assistant] There was no question that Aurelion was being protected by a powerful deity.


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[Assistant] The only question is which of the literally hundreds to choose from did Irelian attribute his victories?


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[Assistant] The answer, helpfully, speaks to the larger religious transformation going on in the Mediterranean world during the shift into Late Antiquity.


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[Assistant] After following convention and identifying himself with Jupiter early in his reign, at some point, most likely during the campaign against the Palmyrenes,


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[Assistant] Aurelion began to believe that he was in fact the tool of something much bigger.


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[Assistant] An overarching solar deity who came to serve as an important link in the ancient world's transition from polytheism to monotheism.


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[Assistant] Now, an overarching solar deity has already made an appearance in the history of Rome during the confused and doomed reign of Elagobolis.


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[Assistant] Like Elagabalus, Aurelian came to believe that Sol really was the one true god, and that all other gods were inferior.


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[Assistant] But unlike Elagobolus, Aurelian did not attempt to suppress traditional pagan religion with his kooky new theological conceptions.


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[Assistant] Aurelian saw no incompatibility between his own budding monotheism and the wider world of pagan polytheism.


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[Assistant] He paid studious attention to Jupiter and Mars and Apollo and all the other usual suspects, but with the understanding that these old gods were actually just the forms that the one true God used to manifest itself on the mortal plane.


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[Assistant] To thank his great benefactor, Aurelian established a new temple in Rome dedicated to Sol Invictus and initiated a new priesthood dedicated to its worship.


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[Assistant] While he made no attempt to hinder any other religious activities, Aurelian in word and deed made it clear that he considered soul to be the most important of all the gods.


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[Assistant] Indeed, the one true God and encouraged its worship wherever he went.


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[Assistant] In this, he was engaged not just in religious zeal.


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[Assistant] But also in a wider socio-political project, he hoped would help reconnect the so recently fractured empire.


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[Assistant] From Spain to Syria and from Britain to Africa, the citizens of the empire worship a huge variety of gods and goddesses who often bore little resemblance to one another.


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[Assistant] Aurelian hoped to provide everyone with a single manifest God to whom they could all equally worship.


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[Assistant] The natives of Gaul and say the natives of Carthage worship their own particular gods in their own particular ways.


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[Assistant] But if, at some point during each day, they turn their attention to the great overarching Sol Invictus, then the ties that bound the far-flung corners of the Empire together would be immeasurably strengthened. That was the idea, anyway. And it was an idea whose time was coming.


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[Assistant] Constantine's vision of one empire and one church was in many ways foreshadowed by Aurelian's promulgation of the cult of Sol Invictus.


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[Assistant] And indeed, this earlier promulgation made the later transition to Christianity that much easier, as Jesus Christ was eventually identified with the Sun God.


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[Assistant] So, if you were comfortable with worshipping Sol Invictus, then the shift to worshipping Jesus Christ became almost seamless.


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[Assistant] The last note I'll make about Aurelian's worship of the sun is that it was largely through his efforts that the feast of the unconquered sun, which usually took place around December 25th, firmly took root on the Roman holiday calendar.


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[Assistant] And you should all remember from the History of Rome Christmas special.


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[Assistant] That this feast was eventually claimed by the church fathers as the official birthday of Jesus and is the reason we celebrate Christmas on the day that we do.


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[Assistant] It's worth noting that the switcheroo from Saul to Jesus didn't strike anyone as being too out of the blue, since, as I just mentioned,


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[Assistant] Jesus had already been firmly identified with the sun god.


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[Assistant] The unconquered Restorer of the World, with the backing of the powerful Sol Invictus, next turned his attention on one of the few loose ends that had been left hanging in the past four years whirlwind of activity.


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[Assistant] Fourteen years ago, the King of Sasanid Persia had taken the noble Emperor Valerian prisoner by means of a dirty trick.


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[Assistant] Then he had forced Valerian to submit to all manner of humiliation and torture before the good emperor was finally allowed to die. His body


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[Assistant] Allegedly, still sat stuffed in the Sassanid throne room.


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[Assistant] If the Persians thought that all of this was going to be forgiven and forgotten, then they had another thing coming.


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[Assistant] Shortly after his defeat of Palmyra, word came west that the great king Sharpor had finally died. His death was a mixed bag for the Romans.


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[Assistant] On the one hand, it meant that they would not be able to exact revenge on Sharple personally.


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[Assistant] But on the other hand, it meant that the Sassanids were now dealing with a succession crisis and were divided and weak.


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[Assistant] Now would be the perfect time to kick them while they were down and take revenge for the capture of Valerian.


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[Assistant] Aurelion was not going to let this opportunity pass.


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[Assistant] Remaining in Rome for the winter, Aurelian made plans for an invasion of Persia, and in the spring of 275 set out east with his army, intent on avenging Rome's honor. He would never make it past Thrace.


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[Assistant] By far the most capable emperor since Septimius Severus. And really, one of the most capable emperors ever.


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[Assistant] Was cut down in the prime of his life by misguided assassins who immediately regretted their rash murder.


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[Assistant] As you can probably imagine, the stern and humorless Aurelian had very little patience for corruption and double dealing, especially within his own staff.


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[Assistant] One of his personal secretaries had apparently lied his head off to the emperor about some random issue or another.


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[Assistant] And had either already been found out or was about to be found out and terrified that he was going to be executed.


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[Assistant] He forged a document that purported to be a death list drawn up by the Emperor with numerous high ranking officers marked down for execution.


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[Assistant] This Weasley advisor then showed it to the high ranking officers and let them take care of the rest.


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[Assistant] All these men knew Aurelian to be a strict and remorseless disciplinarian.


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[Assistant] And in the heat of the moment, they became convinced that if they didn't strike first, that Irelian was going to kill them all, and unjustly at that.


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[Assistant] And camped in Thrace in September or October of 275, the officers surprised a reliant in his tent and stabbed him to death.


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[Assistant] Aurelion was 60 years old and had ruled the empire for five magnificent years.


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[Assistant] The rank and file were horrified to discover that their great general, the greatest that they had ever known, was dead.


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[Assistant] And the officers themselves were horrified when they discovered shortly thereafter that the whole thing had been a trick.


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[Assistant] So, just when it looked like everything was going to be okay, the empire was suddenly thrown into its own succession crisis.


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[Assistant] Only this time the crisis did not unfold as a battle between men vying to put their own man on the throne.


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[Assistant] But instead, as a battle between men who were trying to foist the question of who would rule now onto someone else.


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[Assistant] Next week, we will watch the amusing spectacle of the Senate and the Imperial Army, who had fought each other for so long over the right to nominate emperors, each now trying to get the other to pick a new leader for Rome.


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[Assistant] We won the podcast award for best educational podcast of 2010. Totally cool.


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[Assistant] There is no way that I can claim any sort of sole ownership of the honor because it was you guys out there who nominated the show and then you guys who went and voted for it. So I consider this a win for everyone in the history of Rome community. I didn't win anything.


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[Assistant] Aurelian's assassination in late 275 AD came as a shock to everyone, and apart from a few irreconcilables in the Senate, the unconquered Restorer of the World was mourned throughout the Empire.


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[Assistant] The rank and file of the Imperial Army, still camped in Thrace, was especially grief stricken, and their grief soon turned to anger. They wanted to know who was behind the assassination, and then they wanted them dead.


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[Assistant] It was this bloodthirsty anger that led the senior officers of the legions, most of whom had been in on the murder.


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[Assistant] To take the unprecedented step of punting on the question of succession.


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[Assistant] Normally under these circumstances, one of them would have been put forward and acclaimed, but in this climate,


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[Assistant] Imperial ambition would have been taken as evidence of guilt.


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[Assistant] What I mean by that is that the third century assassinations preceding Aurelians, those of Alexander Severus and Maximus Thrax and Philip the Arab and Gallus and Aemilianus and Gallienus,


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[Assistant] We're carried out with at least the tacit approval of the common soldiers, who understood that their erstwhile leaders needed to be pitched overboard, usually to save their own skins.


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[Assistant] But this business with a relian was a different animal altogether.


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[Assistant] He was popular, he was successful, and he faced no charismatic rival for power.


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[Assistant] He had, after all, already dispatched all of those.


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[Assistant] To come forward and claim the purple then looked like a quick way to get fingered for a Rallian's murder and then get lynched by an angry mob.


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[Assistant] So the senior staff decided the safest course of action would be to ask the Senate to vote on a new Emperor.


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[Assistant] That way, none of them would look like they had killed Irelian out of crass ambition.


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[Assistant] So a few weeks after the emperor died, official envoys from the army arrived in Rome and announced to the Senate that the men of the legions humbly put the choice of Aurelian successor into the hands of that great and ancient body. The Senate, of course, thought that this was insane.


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[Assistant] As much as they liked to whine about it, they had learned not to mess with the army on the issue of succession.


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[Assistant] The Senate's guys always got killed and the men who put them forward usually got killed too.


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[Assistant] So, the Senate told the envoys, thanks, but no thanks.


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[Assistant] Then the envoys went back to the army, but the officers again refused to nominate one of their own and kicked it back to the Senate.


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[Assistant] Though, exactly how long is a matter of long-standing debate?


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[Assistant] Famously, among others, the Historia Augusta reports that the interregnum lasted for a good six months, during which time neither side was willing to blink.


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[Assistant] In this telling, the Senate took over the day-to-day functions of the Empire, while everyone waited for someone else to make the decision about who ought to be Emperor.


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[Assistant] It has also been postulated that the Emperor's widow, a practically unknown woman named Cervina, actually wielded some kind of executive authority in her role as the Augusta during this period.


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[Assistant] But mostly, it seems like the whole notion of an extended interregnum only arises because of confusion in the ancient sources.


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[Assistant] There is no doubt that the soldiers and the Senate each tried to get the other to make the call and that eventually the Senate blinked and elevated a man named Marcus Claudius Tacitus.


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[Assistant] But the six month time frame appears to come from the fact that some fourth century historians completely dismissed the short reigns of Tacitus and his successor half-brother Florian


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[Assistant] Merely noting that six months passed between the death of Aurelian and the ascension of his successor, the General Probus.


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[Assistant] Later authors then picked this up and accidentally combined it with the story of the Senate and army arguing about who ought to follow Aurelian and turned it into an interregnum of six months where there was no emperor at all. Which doesn't really seem plausible.


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[Assistant] So I'm inclined to believe that Tacitus was elevated in December of 275, after one solid go-around between the Army and the Senate.


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[Assistant] This shortens the interregnum to the period it took the envoys to go from Thrace to Rome, from Rome back to Thrace, and then back to Rome again.


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[Assistant] By that point, the Senate was ready to make the call, and they chose, as I just said, Marcus Claudius Tacitus, a man about whom we know almost nothing.


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[Assistant] Despite his tantalizing name, it does not appear that Emperor Tacitus was in any way related to the historian Tacitus, though that was a myth that was bandied about for quite a while.


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[Assistant] He is also described as being in his mid-70s at the time of his ascension. But again, that seems more myth than reality.


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[Assistant] Before it was snuffed out completely by Diocletian and his Tetrarchy.


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[Assistant] Tacitus, whoever he was, however old he was, and whatever his agenda was,


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[Assistant] was in Campania when he heard that the Senate had chosen him for this great and terrible honor, and he quickly rode up to Rome to take his place on the throne.


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[Assistant] He allegedly gave a fine speech promising to renew the old partnership between Emperor and Senate.


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[Assistant] The stay of execution the officers behind Aurelian's murder had earned by punting the succession question to the Senate was cancelled the minute Tacitus arrived in camp.


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[Assistant] Immediately taking note of the rank and file still vengeful mood, Kassadus rounded up all the conspirators he could identify and ordered them killed.


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[Assistant] The bloodlust of the troops thus mollified, Tacitus announced that the march to Persia was now on indefinite hold.


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[Assistant] A swarm of German tribes north of the Danube had taken the news of Aurelian's death as an open invitation to recommence their raids on Roman territory. And the countryside was once again littered with barbarians.


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[Assistant] The imperial army spent the next six months engaged in a happy little game of whack-a-mole as Tacitus attempted to impress upon the German tribes that Aurelian's death did not mean that Rome was suddenly some weakling who could be pushed around. And it was true.


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[Assistant] Of all Aurelian's legacies, perhaps the most important was the highly trained, highly disciplined veteran army he bequeathed to his successors.


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[Assistant] The legions of the Imperial Army were now as formidable a force as the Empire had ever put together.


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[Assistant] And for the moment, there was no one on earth who could beat them in battle.


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[Assistant] A lesson the opportunistic Germans would soon learn.


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[Assistant] Forced down into Cilicia to deal with some runaway intruders in the summer of 276, the Emperor either succumbed to an illness or was assassinated by his own soldiers.


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[Assistant] Who perhaps regretted allowing the Senate to decide their fate for them.


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[Assistant] He was supposedly 76 years old and had ruled the empire for just six months.


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[Assistant] So, like I say, the six months that Tacitus reigned correspond so nicely with the six month interregnum between Aurelian and his successor,


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[Assistant] But tales of an extended power vacuum really do seem misplaced.


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[Assistant] There was a six month gap between Irelian and the ascension of the man who could be considered his true successor.


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[Assistant] But that did not mean that there was a six month gap between Aurelion and any successor at all.


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[Assistant] The man who can be considered Aurelian's true successor was, if you can believe this, an Aulerian general by the name of Marcus Aurelius Probus.


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[Assistant] Who at the time was serving as commander in chief of the eastern provinces.


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[Assistant] A post so critical that it is easy to imagine that the childless Aurelian was grooming Probus to succeed him all along, though there is no hard evidence to support that one way or the other.


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[Assistant] Probus was of a slightly younger generation of officers than Claudius Gothicus and Aurelian had been, born around 232 rather than his elder colleagues 213 and 215 AD respectively.


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[Assistant] He came up in the army then just as Valerian was taking power and was eventually catapulted into the upper ranks of the officer corps when his Alerian brethren seized control of the empire in 268.


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[Assistant] He served as one of Aurelian's key lieutenants, then as I said a few episodes back.


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[Assistant] He has traditionally been credited with the recapture of Egypt during the Palmyrene War, though other evidence points to his remaining in the West during that period, laying the groundwork for the Gallic War.


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[Assistant] Once the empire was reunited though, Probus was definitely put in charge of all the armed forces in the east.


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[Assistant] A promotion that found him overseeing the all important reintegration of the eastern provinces into the imperial fold.


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[Assistant] This posting alone speaks to the confidence that Aurelian must have had in his younger colleague.


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[Assistant] Only in his early forties when Aurelion died, it is likely that Probus did not yet feel secure enough or strong enough to make his own bid for the throne.


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[Assistant] So, whatever his long-term ambitions might have been, this time around, he simply allowed the Senate and the Army in Thrace to hash things out.


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[Assistant] But when Tacitus died in mid-276, most of the men senior to him in the chain of command were already dead as a result of the part that they had played in Aurelian's murder.


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[Assistant] By virtue of his eastern command and the esteem that the still beloved Aurelian had obviously held him in,


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[Assistant] Probus was now a natural choice for the job of emperor.


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[Assistant] And the men under his command did not hesitate to hail him as such.


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[Assistant] Provis immediately began to march west to cement his claim to power.


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[Assistant] In a poetic repeat of the circumstances surrounding Aurelian's elevation six years earlier, before Probus could secure the throne outright, he had to deal with a counterclaim by the dead emperor's brother.


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[Assistant] Marcus Aeneas Florianus, the maternal half-brother of Tacitus, had been named Praetorian Prefect when Tacitus donned the purple, and was on hand when his brother died in Cilicia.


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[Assistant] With the Imperial army leaderless and Imperial blood now coursing through his veins, Florian did not hesitate to assume the mantle of Emperor at the first opportunity. The Senate was never consulted in any of this.


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[Assistant] Their brief return to the forefront of politics was already becoming a distant memory.


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[Assistant] From here on out, individual senators, by virtue of their private control of so much of the empire's land, might hold sway in government. But as an institution, the Senate was dead, dead, dead.


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[Assistant] Florian decided to immediately march his larger and better trained army east to knock Probus out quickly.


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[Assistant] Over the course of their years fighting together under Aurelion.


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[Assistant] Most especially, he did not take into account that Probus was seen by everyone as the logical successor to Aurelian.


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[Assistant] The soldiers under his command likely didn't know Florian from Adam, but they knew Probus very well.


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[Assistant] A battle was not even necessary to decide the issue. No one was going to fight Probus.


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[Assistant] 88 days after being proclaimed emperor, Florian was either assassinated by his men or he committed suicide, and Marcus Aurelius Probus became the undisputed master of the empire.


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[Assistant] Is about to go through a fairly momentous transformation.


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[Assistant] Probus took over the reigns of power in 276 and would rule until 282, a six-year stretch that, added to the five years of Aurelion's reign, combined to provide some much-needed stability to the Empire.


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[Assistant] Unfortunately for us though, the reign of Probus is like a poster child for the jumbled and confused chronology of the third century.


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[Assistant] One of our main literary sources, A Fourth Century History by Aurelius Victor, cuts out right as he is about to go into detail about the reign of the good and decent Emperor Probus.


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[Assistant] So what we have to go on are some summaries, some snippets, and some coins.


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[Assistant] Not really the stuff that great history is made of, but we're going to do our best.


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[Assistant] It appears, first of all, that the Danube tribes were not the only ones to take Aurelian's death as an invitation to resume their attack on the provinces.


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[Assistant] Sending the army that had first declared him emperor back to Syria to garrison the east.


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[Assistant] Probus took command of the main imperial army and likely marched over to the Rhine frontier where the Alamani and the Franks had broken across the border.


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[Assistant] Well, I guess they didn't really break across so much as they just walked on over.


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[Assistant] Seeing as how the old fortification lines developed by Domitian and Hadrian had been pretty well abandoned by this point.


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[Assistant] Archaeological excavations have shown that going into the crisis years, the Romans still manned and patrolled the same Limus Germanicus that they had for more than a century. But by the time the Gallic Empire was reintegrated, all but a handful of the old forts had been abandoned.


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[Assistant] As I mentioned during the first Aurelian episode, the Romans had by this point fallen back to their newly fortified cities as the main defensive line.


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[Assistant] There were simply too many Germans moving in too coordinated a way to make manning a long wall made of turf and wood a viable defensive option.


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[Assistant] In the coming years, first Diocletian and then Constantine will completely reshape the Roman military posture to account for the new threats that the empire faced.


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[Assistant] But for now, the transition was just getting started.


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[Assistant] And Probus had to rely on walled cities, a mobile imperial army, and a lot of luck to help him push back the German invaders.


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[Assistant] Although, following Aurelian's lead, Probus was not 100% intent on pushing the Germans out of the empire.


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[Assistant] What he really wanted was peace and stability on the frontiers.


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[Assistant] And in their own way, this is what the Franks and Alamani wanted too.


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[Assistant] So as he campaigned against them in the late 270s, it became standard policy to settle defeated tribesmen in the lands that had been vacated by the long Romanized Gauls, who had fled to the cities in the face of near constant invasion.


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[Assistant] Tens of thousands of Germans were thus settled on provincial land.


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[Assistant] Giving the economy a boost, the legions new recruits, and the provinces a nice buffer zone between un-pacified tribes and the Roman interior.


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[Assistant] Sometimes it took defeating the Germans to get them into Roman settlements.


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[Assistant] But other times, they requested permission to migrate.


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[Assistant] Permission that was granted on the condition that they disarm, disperse into smaller groups, and recognize the overarching authority of Roman officials.


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[Assistant] Which seemed like a fine bargain for most of them, who welcomed the opportunity to share in the splendid riches of an empire they had for so long I jealousy.


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[Assistant] For now, the process of Germanic integration was a gangbuster strategy for the recovering empire.


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[Assistant] And for the next hundred years, it worked out almost universally to the Roman advantage.


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[Assistant] Once the Huns got going though, the whole ball game would change, as the Empire would have to deal with the settlement not of tens of thousands, but rather hundreds of thousands. And after Adrian Opel,


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[Assistant] It had to deal with hundreds of thousands who wanted settlement lands but were no longer prepared to disperse or disarm.


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[Assistant] The West's inability to adjust to that new reality was one of the key reasons why, a hundred years after that, the whole thing fell apart. But that is for another day.


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[Assistant] After pacifying the Rhine frontier, Probus then seems to have turned his attention back to the Danube, where he squared off and soundly defeated the Vandals.


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[Assistant] Soldiers engaged in public works and land restoration projects. Which could only mean one thing. After nearly 50 years of constant warfare, the legions were running out of enemies to fight.


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[Assistant] Just a decade before, Aurelion had been unable to spare a single soldier to help build his walls around Rome.


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[Assistant] But now, we have reports of soldiers digging irrigation ditches and planting vines, and yes, working on better fortifications for the provincial cities.


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[Assistant] The Sassanids were a significantly less potent threat now that Sharpor was dead. The Goths had been beaten down to the point where they would not be a significant adversary for another century.


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[Assistant] And the power of the Franks and the Alamani was being siphoned into the Roman tank.


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[Assistant] On the home front, sporadic uprisings were being choked off with ease.


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[Assistant] And for the briefest of moments, it seemed like the Empire was at something resembling peace.


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[Assistant] It is even reported that Probus boasted that in a few years Rome would not even need her armies anymore. Proud words not to be taken literally.


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[Assistant] But unfortunately, it seems that some men in the army did take the Emperor at his word, and they weren't too happy about Provis's vision of a less martial future.


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[Assistant] Don't get them wrong, they were no more interested in perpetual warfare than anyone else.


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[Assistant] But it's just that, well, if Rome no longer needs her armies, then they're all out of a job. And they like their jobs.


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[Assistant] They were well paid and well fed and had a degree of prestige that the poor provincial lives they had all left behind simply could not offer.


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[Assistant] That they were already doing back-breaking manual labor at Probus' order certainly did not bode well for their particular futures.


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[Assistant] That is, there wasn't much separating them from the civilians anymore.


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[Assistant] And according to the limited information we have, it was just this combination of unease about the future and annoyance with Probus' public works projects that led to the Emperor's downfall in late 282.


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[Assistant] One of the main legionary garrisons in Probus' hometown of Sirmium had finally had enough of ditch digging in late 282.


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[Assistant] It is difficult to follow the chain of events, but it seems that Probus had been in Rome celebrating a triumph, and that he was on his way back to the frontier zone.


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[Assistant] Possibly to get Aurelian's planned Eastern campaign restarted when news of the revolt reached him.


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[Assistant] Eventually, the troops in Sirmium would elevate a Praetorian prefect by the name of Marcus Aurelius Charis to the throne.


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[Assistant] But it is unclear whether this occurred in conjunction with the original revolt or whether it only occurred after Provis had been dispatched with.


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[Assistant] The bottom line though, is that Probus arrived in Sirmium to restore order, found himself overwhelmed by the unruly troops, and was assassinated in September or October of 282 AD.


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[Assistant] He was 50 years old and had ruled the empire for just about 6 years.


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[Assistant] The murder of Probus, like the murder of Aurelian, was committed in the heat of the moment.


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[Assistant] And as soon as things calmed down, the soldiers came to regret their hasty violence.


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[Assistant] Charus, now donning the purple, had no trouble rooting out the men behind the assassination.


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[Assistant] The deaths of these two great Illyrian generals really served no useful purpose for the Empire. They were neither tyrants nor incompetents. Quite the opposite.


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[Assistant] But with both men being as young as they were when they became emperor.


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[Assistant] It is not hard to imagine that had either one of them been allowed to rule into old age, that we might be dating the end of the crisis years to their ascension.


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[Assistant] As it stands though, we still have a little ways to go.


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[Assistant] Though, with the elevation of Kerus, we have basically come to the end of the line.


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[Assistant] The new emperor is going to elevate both his sons, Carinas and Neumerian, to serve alongside him, and then he will march east to initiate the long put-off campaign against the Sassanids.


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[Assistant] While on campaign, he's going to die. And shortly thereafter, his son New Marion is going to die.


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[Assistant] And then a general named Diocles will be elevated to the throne and we can once and for all put the whole sordid third century crisis behind us.


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[Assistant] Next time, we will close out the crisis of the third century.


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[Assistant] And bring to power Diocletian, the man whose passion for stability and order will lead him to overhaul the entire administrative structure of the Empire.


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[Assistant] Transforming it in ways that no man since Augustus had even dreamed of attempting.


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[Assistant] To say nothing of the fact that in a very short time, there will not be one emperor, but four. And not rivals for power, but colleagues.


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[Assistant] Working in concert to ensure the safety, survival, and prosperity of the renewed Roman Empire.


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[Assistant] I say next time rather than next week because the feast of the unconquered sun fast approaches and the new year follows fast after that.


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[Assistant] I'll be traveling for the holidays and won't be able to get much writing done, so I'm going to have to take the next two weeks off.


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[Assistant] We'll be back though on January 9 to finally bury the crisis of the third century and then launch into the new age of the tetrarchy and then into Constantine and his newly minted Christian empire.


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[Assistant] This is what it is. Let's go back to your coaching career. Yeaah. To the game that never happened.


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[Assistant] The first American watch factory in the United States in 50 years.


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[Assistant] So today, we got the Black Lizard. Ever seen one of these before? No.


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[Assistant] They say it is as tough as the time it honors. As the Argonite 5050 chronograph movement crafted from ultra light, ultra strong titanium.


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[Assistant] Use the code roomates for 15% off your next purchase. Terms and conditions may apply. If you had to run it back today, who would your five be? Today? Today.


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[Assistant] So will I knock you out of the air because like, people don't really do that as much.


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[Assistant] Uhm, I mean, definitely adapt to it once you get older because it's...


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[Assistant] The older you get, obviously you play against like 7 footers, you play against dudes who are not only 7 feet, but they can touch the top of the backboard. You play against dudes who are my height, who can touch the top of the backboard.


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[Assistant] You know, like, I would say for the most part, when I'm in like a pick and roll situation,


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[Assistant] If I hit the man guarding me on the screen,


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[Assistant] I'm like 95% not worried about him anymore. I'm worried about the help and whatever's in front of me.


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[Assistant] In a one-on-one situation, once you, like, get past their hips or you make a, like, shift or whatever, then you start seeing, like, what's behind, like, what's the defense behind doing? So you're always, you're constantly, like, looking at the help to see, like, if you have a straightaway angle, which is very rare.


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[Assistant] Or someone that helps and then your teammates slide up into different spots so you can see that. But, I mean.


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[Assistant] I mean, he does stuff that you can't teach, like it's just, he's a freak.


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[Assistant] The weirdest part about him, like, cutting this up, like, the first couple games, weeks, like, he didn't really understand our offense, or didn't fully know where he was supposed to be in certain moments.


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[Assistant] Embarrassing, meaning ass.


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[Assistant] The real dog. Dude was the final MVP. You gotta win! Twice. He wasn't like just on the team, like he was...


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[Assistant] R.J. like gets up, like shakes my head, it's like aight bro, I'm going to Toronto. I'm like...


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[Assistant] Like seven, eight people in the middle room just hugs him and walks out. I'm just like, what's going on? And then my phone, I can see a little tweet.


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[Assistant] Bro, bro, for sure, I was, I was shocked. I felt, like yea, OG's been great for us and I love having them on the team, but like, that was like a personal moment, I was like, damn.


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[Assistant] It was, Charlotte was like the last year.


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[Assistant] Miami's always has a, we have a decent crowd. Orlando.


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[Assistant] Yeaah. What's your favorite, uh, MSU moment?


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[Assistant] I listen to everything. Everything. I'm still working my way in the country. Besides that though.


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[Assistant] They got the headband, they got the braids and everything. For some of you who don't know, Josh made fun of my Funko Pop. Said it was, uh, he said that.


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[Assistant] You said I look too realistic because the proportion of the head to body ratio.


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[Assistant] When you're shooting a 3, or let's say you shoot an NBA 3 and like in a regular gym, right? Right? Spar.


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[Assistant] I saw a tweet, it was like, whenever Kaylen Clark pulls up,


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[Assistant] Quick, just, quick. Should she go in the victory? Yes or no? No.


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[Assistant] But, I think once you get to know him, he's more of a kid than me and him. He is a child. My mother raised three children in the house with me, my sister and him. 1000%


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[Assistant] He has his moments, but uh, no, he's intense. When it's time, when it's, when it's coach, he's intense. When it's dad, he's, man, he's the biggest kid of them all.


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[Assistant] That one on one, pop a shot, he didn't beat me. I won like a seven game win streak in golf. So. Oh wow.


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[Assistant] I'm pretty much like superior now. There's like people who run around their house, and there's people like me who actually run the house. So, it's not him anymore.


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[Assistant] You can grow lemon, avocado, and olive trees inside of your home along with a wide variety of house plants they have available.


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[Assistant] And along with a 30 day alive and thrive guarantee, you get free plant consultation forever.


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[Assistant] And landscapers can be way too expensive. I see them get Josh myself. For a limited time, not only can you get buy one get one free on their website, you can get an additional 15% off when using our code roommates at checkout.


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[Assistant] Offer is valid for a limited time. Terms and conditions may apply.


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[Assistant] Anything. The amount of times I wanted to do that, uhm, almost every, to this day, some time. Right.


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[Assistant] Yeah, he always said, uhm, it's like a teacher giving you a study guide. Like, she obviously made the test, she has the answers to the test, and are you going to study the study guide? She's giving you the answers, are you just going to wing it?


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[Assistant] My dad's like, I'm the study guy and either you can listen to me or you can try to do it on your own. So I was, obviously you wanna use everything you have, so. Right. He made it pretty easy.


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[Assistant] When did you realize like this is what you wanted to do?


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[Assistant] Obviously with my dad, like, he played, and like, I always kind of knew I wanted to play basketball, but then, it was like, sixth, seventh grade, and I was like, boom. This is, this is, this is it. This is what I want to do. Like, when did you finally, like, hit you that you wanted to do this?


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[Assistant] Special delivery from Tommy John. Let's see what this holds.


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[Assistant] Elevate your game with Tommy John's second skin underwear. What you put in your pants matters.


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[Assistant] Late bloomer. He definitely got a lot better. Late bloomer for sure.


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[Assistant] No, for me there's no pressure, personally. But I definitely feel the energy, no matter where you are in New York. As soon as you walk into the garden, you feel the energy. Go to a restaurant, and uhm,


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[Assistant] And someone sees you, they get excited, but uhm.


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[Assistant] I think the best part about like, our team right now, is that like, we don't have guys who are like, truly like, into that.


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[Assistant] We're all about our business, you know, we work as hard as we can, we get our work done, uhm, but we have a lot of guys who are just like,


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[Assistant] Just focus on the right thing. The main thing is the main thing. And so, but when it comes like the fans and when it comes to everyone's kind of coming together, like this fan base, this city, this...


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[Assistant] There's nothing that compares to it. There's nothing that compares to it. So when it comes to like, pressure, I mean,


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[Assistant] They're high stakes, but like, for me it's not pressure.


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[Assistant] We already worked really hard for situations like this. It's either we're gonna succeed or we're gonna fail. If we fail, we move on. If we succeed, we learn from that. So, I don't really feel pressure when it comes to like certain situations.


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[Assistant] I feel like it's way harder to watch games than playing it. Like when I watch, like, Nova games now, it is just like...


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[Assistant] I don't know. It's tough. Like, when there's like a situation like, ah, I would do that, I would do this. Like, you're like trying to talk to them through the TV.


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[Assistant] Very rare now. Very rare. But I'll say, like, I'll say this about, about you. Like, I actually said something about it, I don't know when, maybe on the pod, but...


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[Assistant] Literally what you just said, like, you kind of look at the player, you know, you're never really negative. I've never seen you tweet one negative thing. I just, I remember...


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[Assistant] Like when uhm, when RJ and Quick got traded, you said great things about them, and it's just like...


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[Assistant] You don't really see that too much. And so like when I see a tweet like that and I see other fans like jump on that bandwagon and say nice things as well, I'm like...


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[Assistant] There hasn't been one negative tweet that I've seen come from your...


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[Assistant] I would, my, kind of going off that, uhm, actually taking a quick right turn.


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[Assistant] What was like that moment, that thing, that thing that you said, alright, this is it. I'm here. I'm in like, I'm in my prime. This is, this is it. Like what was your moment? What was like the thing you produced or put out there that you were like, I'm, this is me, this is it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like I said, he's always going to get the best out of you. Like, there's going to be times, he's going to be yelling and screaming, and combination, we're going to be like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, alright, but he's gonna prepare you, he's gonna have, whatever question you have, he has it answered in two different, three different ways. Uhm, he's the most prepared coach that you'll ever see. So he, like, when we go into like game planning and stuff,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He has everything done. Seriously, any question you have, like, what if he does this, what if he does this? Alright, if he does this, boom, boom, boom. We walk through it. And so, we walk through all our adjustments, we do all that stuff. So, like I said, a man of repetition.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Carlisle and Jason Kidd. Like you said, every director, every coach is different.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But Josh is the person on the team where...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He makes all this noise, he complains about whatever and all this stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So he's in the corner like yelling, complaining, whatever he has to do, and we all just like let him burn out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then once he's done, he'll come back to us and then we just continue on with what we're doing. But like, he's like that little bad kid that's just leaving the corner and then...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's for sure. At one point during the season he was complaining about his minutes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Now he's playing too much minutes in his mind.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I feel like we've been playing together for obviously a long time, and uhm, everyone on the team


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, obviously we made moves, but like, I feel like our chemistry has helped us, like, on the court. Because, we, I mean yea, like I said, we made a lot of moves, but like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's a big plus. It's not like a thing you see every day in the NBA. I think it's more common now, like everyone feels like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They genuinely like each other on teams, but...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Last thing I'll say about that, I just think that the fans, like you said, really appreciate, like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like how hard we play and the things that we give to the game. Maybe we don't take things for granted. But uhm.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think it's important how we hold each other accountable. Like, after games.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They ask their questions, I can easily say like things about like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, like, I may play well, but like, we didn't, like, I don't really talk about, like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think, from my point of view, I feel like my teammates respect it when like I always make sure I bring my teammates with me when we win and when it's, I'll take the blame when we lose. Just because, I mean, I want to hold that burden because I want everyone else to have that confidence to grow out there and just play the same way next day. I feel like mentally I can hold that for my teammates. And I think Nick's Twitter and Nick's fans like appreciate that because our mindset's never satisfied.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Every single person on this team has been doubted at some point in the NBA. I think that's what brings us closer together. We all have been


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Put in that situation where like, he's good, but I don't think he can do this. I don't think he can do that. Every single person on this team has been through that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You think about it internally, but we don't really talk about that stuff. I just think that helps.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It fuels us a little bit to just be better every single day. That's why we have maybe that underdog mindset. But uhm, we just go out there and work as hard as we can.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I saw a tweet, it was like Nick's fans, Nick's Twitter, they were fighting with each other about like something going on with our team and then like another person from another fan base said something. And it went crazy. And then they joined forces and it went right at that guy on Twitter. And so it was like, you can joke with your family but then when someone jokes about us the family comes together and yeah, we're tacking as one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We've said Indiana. What else have we said?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Ben, do you take the crown as the leader of Nick's Twitter? Would you happily take that crown?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm saying this. I don't care what he just said.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes, yes. After the season. After the season. Okay, I got it. After the season.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Once I'm like, once I run onto the court for like, way up lines, like right before the game starts, I'm like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Locked in, I don't really, I don't take pictures, like I'll say hi to people but I'm not signing any autographs.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I feel like that's like, like you're locked in, like you're in a zone.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When a situation like that happens, it's just like, you're in the rhythm.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We're definitely in the Netflix and chill era. Right. Exactly. Right.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Can I guess? Would it be the Bernard King back to back 50?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm good. Nope. I think we'll be better off without, uhm, any retired Nick. I mean the one answer I would say is mellow. It's just easy. But if I wasn't going to say mellow. He would fit in well.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And he sucks it up there, for sure. I would say him, cause he had to guard MJ.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, he has, like, offensively, he's just like so skilled.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then, like, Orlando had that really good, like, first quarter, so I was like, ah, maybe it's not really a thing. We did lose that game, but...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That was right after, I think it was right after we won in Cleveland.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm gonna be completely honest with you. I was cool, calm and collected.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Before the alcohol went out. And the guy was like, alright, you're up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh my, like the interview part was easy, he was really cool, he was super nice, uhm, but that part, I don't know why, it was just like nerve-racking.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It just, not sure, I'm not sure people would want to do that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So much into the season, into the season, if we did like a 1-1 tournament and something happened.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, no, no, you don't think about it in your plan. It's only something that you would think after the fact.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Everything is fine until something happens and we gotta change something.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It might be. It might. That'd be pretty cool.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I would help another player up. It happens every once in a while.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm not going to rush to help a player up, but like if I knock him down, he's literally right there and there's no one around me, I might help him up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's nothing personal, like, when someone comes to help me up, I just say, I can't, sorry. My teammates are gonna help me up. Right. It's us versus y'all right now. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But eventually I got better and better to eventually knock you out of the playoffs a couple years later. Of game seven, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What's up everybody, it's Jalen here, back with another episode of The Roommate Show. We have a very, very special guest here today. We have a two-time national champion, first team, all defense.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] 420 consecutive games played in the NBA. Anything else? Retired Jersey at Nova.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm gonna be, I'm gonna cut to the hard-hitting questions right away. Uhm, do you really eat Chipotle every day? No, I don't.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah, they just, I just, I got Chipotle gift cards for like my birthday though.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Some dude in Philly said the other day. No. So last year game 82, what did you do?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was, I was, one time I was really really close, a rookie year, playing in Philly.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But eventually I got better and better to eventually knock you out of the playoffs a couple years later.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When we, what's it, we were up like 60 at one point. Yea, I beat the shit out of them by like 40. Yea. It wasn't there no more.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Whatever, man. But anyway, I wanna ask you a nice little question. Can you, uhm, can you describe, like, how you grew up and what made you choose Nova and all that stuff?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, there's not, no. We met before, we met before Nova.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know how I found out y'all lost that game? Cause I wasn't there yet, obviously. I was a senior in high school.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That was good. They lost. Yea, we lost. He was not there. They lost.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Being realistic. Obviously I'ma fight and say yeaah, we're the best ever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I would say tougher team because there are some crazy teams.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Maybe had it on a silver platter for you. I know. You're up 3-2. I know. You're up 3-2. I know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I have my moment, I think. For us? Which one? One that comes to mind is when like, game five, the steal, the dunk.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I want your authentic reaction, not reaction, I want to hear your, your mom's authentic reaction when you got traded.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm wearing, I'm wearing two shoes right now. Mostly one. You still on the Kobe's? Kobe's of course. And the Casio, Casio, Sabrina's.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Mikael's always had that offense though. Check my tape. I play defense, but you go back. Mikael, okay, y'all see, like, you didn't see the Mikael I saw.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's what you do. Thanks bro. Tell them, like, this is what I do. I don't play defense anymore. I hoop. I ball. Is that a concern? Is that a concern?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah, I feel your pain on that, like. You know, you don't guard.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's fine. You can say that. You can say that. You can say that. If we're being honest, what are we going to say when we're talking about you?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The opposite? I just buy. All defense. All defense, no buck.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah, but usually Philly's like, is not- That was an anomaly. That was an anomaly. Okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah. The hell is Summerdale? Not Summerdale.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do you remember when we played Temple? Uh, it was Josh's junior year. So I guess our, technically our freshman year. Yep. Josh cut it in one and looked right into the camera. Oh yeah. And like flexed it like this. So the next day in the film.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And coach just walks in like, Josh, this is, this is who we are.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Josh wants to flex towards the cameras, not care about his teammates. This is, this is where we are as a team.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Josh just stood there and just couldn't say anything.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't care about the whole Indiana part. I just hate hearing that, that, that word, if you just said, but...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Miss one? Nothing. We'll continue. We're not going to repeat it. But, uh, oh. Oh, yeah, well, yeah, you did that. I wasn't even born yet. Yeah, thanks.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The reason why I say Scarpetta is because I know that we can, we can get a decent amount


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Of like, room in there, for like, as big of a group as we have, usually.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, yeah. Well, Kayo, thanks for coming on. Of course. Thanks for having me, Phyllis. We really appreciate it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What's up everybody and welcome back to another episode of The Roommates, a playmaker original. Uhm, obviously, looks a little different. Matt didn't leave us, he's...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Remote. And, uh, he's actually in Miami. Getting some nice sun. Uhm, so, young Matthew. I'm done with you guys. Hey, if you had to be in Miami the whole time, I don't blame you. Miami's an amazing place.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They have, they have Long's Bakery. That's, that's one of the best donut spots in the country. I'll give them that. I'm giving them something. I should be grateful I'm giving them something. That's one of the best in the country. They have Butler.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm a villain of a wildcat, so we have plural, I have uno, I have... Fair enough. Do they have one? I mean if they do it's probably from like 1942 or something, but I don't know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Get into our segment of picture me scrolling. If you guys don't know what that is, is when we react to funny social media, uhm, posts and that from like last week or so. So we're going to get into it. There's some of them are funny. Some of them they come at our neck.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, we, we don't know what they are, uhm, so you're getting our actual reaction, so, we're gonna see how it is.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What's next? It's too early. It's too early, JB. So, this is actually Taz Gibson walking to option to shoot in the morning with Tim's on it. It was kind of crazy to me just because it's like 70 degrees in Orlando, uhm, it's sunny.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And you know, I got like my little slides on trying to be light on my feet and he got these big bulky.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Snowing. You know what I mean? They're, they're, you know, I feel like once you get to like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Fifty-five, fifty, fifty-five degrees, and you're not like, you know, construction worker on the job.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, you can kind of put the Timbs away till it gets under that point.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How you gonna come down and just start being loud? For y'all on YouTube, my wife just walked down, but for some reason she decided to be mad loud coming down. Like we're not filming a podcast.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So she'll get her time to shine at some point.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You didn't like him pants on? I had tights on.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Kinda weird. I'm literally changing in the locker room. I'm just saying, it's kinda weird. You're not changing. You're sitting in tights. It's kinda interesting.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He dropped some merch man, make sure you go cop it. Is it Adidas? Nah, I don't think so. I think it's his Dame, Dame Dollar merch.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If y'all don't, if y'all don't know me, I'm telling y'all, if I'm in the car for more than 20 minutes, I'm, I'm gonna fall asleep. Doesn't matter.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When it is a matter, like what we're doing, where we're going, I think we were actually, we were going out and it's like 11 o'clock and I'm just, no it was later than that, it was probably like 1 o'clock and I'm just like, you know what, I get like a good 25 minutes to like recharge the battery on the way to going out, so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's really, really good. This is, oh, uh, Jacob Toppin, aka Law Top, uhm, in the, in the NBA slam dunk contest. It was a good, it was a good little 360 between the legs, uhm, and then obviously


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, I might be able to be in the slam dunk contest. Okay. Okay, let's be real.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah, Janna Brown got there cause she's Janna Brown. But it's like, you get it, but it's also, it's also sucks because obviously like, you can't.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You can't rate or, you know, pick a number for, you know, who he is, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He had one dunk in the all-star game, now he's the man. Go ahead, dunk expert.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Kudos to him, cause, I don't know, hopefully at some point.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, guys really wanna do the dunk contest. Cause obviously we got guys that are...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Crazy athletes in the league, but for some reason, you know, now the dunk contest is just kinda like the...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The after. The after. I feel like people like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] NBA guys, I feel like they like the three point shootout more than the dunk contest now. I don't, maybe it's just cause how the league is and, but, you know, hopefully guys do it again.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm going to get there one day, don't worry. Uhm, the people that I was really impressed with was for sure just, I would say the most impressed.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because being able to, I forgot how much they, I think if not canoe had 26 and Steph had 29 or whatever it is. But like after just not.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Shooting, like you get like a five minute, they had like a five minute if that warm up and they were out there just shooting the cover off the ball. That was, that was crazy to me. He was there, I mean.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Ooh, side talk question of the day. Let's see what it is, man. Let's see what we got.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I'm probably the same. It didn't help recruit. I mean, I got traded here, so I didn't really have a say. But, um, um, seeing that, like, the playoff environment was just...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was crazy. At some point when we're in the playoffs, we get a good dub. We're going to have to go out there in the street with those guys because it's, the vibe of it looks, uhm, it looks dope. So, one day we're going to have to do that one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then, second part is that accurate, yeaah, that's, that's definitely, New York Knicks fans, they're passionate, uhm, they love the Knicks, man, they, they go crazy for them, so it definitely,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's definitely an accurate representation of the fanbase, for sure.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't really care. I mean, that's, who's the, who's the boss that I think has the best record in the league? So, if you take during that four games,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] For like, say boss, if you take four of their starters away, and like, two of their bench players away,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're going to go on four also. Like any team, if you take away four starters and like you're taking away six heavy minute rotation guys, like you're, you're, you're going to struggle. So like, I'm, I'm not really worried about it. It's just ups and downs of the season, but I'm gonna still come on here and talk my, drink my wine.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you get like a good 8 hours of sleep, the other 16 hours definitely should be, you know, go to your profession. You know what I mean?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's like me being at a grocery store, like, yelling at like, the cashier to like, scam my groceries faster. That's how they do it. On Twitter basically. Like in the game. You know what I mean?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's either 25% or more. Never lower. With that being said, All Star.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] First reactions for the first all-star game? How was it? Well, all-star weekend, how was it?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know how mad I'd be if I'm in the Indy airport waiting for my flight and I get on the flight?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just body odor fermenting for hours in the clothes capsule.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, in, in the wake of the Stefan, uhm, in Akanu's three point shootout, uhm, also I'll call her Sabrina.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Thank you, bro. Alright, in the wake of Steph and Sabrina's, uhm, three point shootout, uh, competition, guess who was asked, and it was brought up, Klaive and Steph versus Kaitlin Clark and, uh, Sabrina, who would win in a, in a shooting contest. That's tough.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't really know how good of a, just like, a standstill shooter Kaila Clark is.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it's, it's a different vibe, but Steph and Clay, I mean they, I mean they've been doing it for,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Mod been one of the hottest, hottest in the league. Like when he was in the zone, well I tell you, it didn't matter where he was, he's shooting it and it's, ehm, like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's cash, like. It's not really a hot take. I don't feel, but like, a lot of people, they think like, oh like, ISO off the drip and all that, but like, when he's hot, like, golden state, they were searching him out, and you couldn't really help, cause you used to have like, Steph and KD on the other side, like bro, it was, he gave us,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There was one game in LA when I was a Laker and I swear he had probably like 25 and a quarter. All, just catch and shoot threes, no dribble, shooting it over us. Invita Zubac who's our seven footer, but his hot was.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, I think it's hard to say because a lot of people are gonna be like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The cat, basketball cat was going to be like, oh my God, what about Kevin Durant and Steph Curry and James Harden? Like, they're going to say all these dudes, but I feel like they wouldn't say Clay. But Clay, when Clay was hot, dog, it was, it was a nightmare trying to guard him.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Kay, oh, you're saying her actual name or how I spell it, Anakano. How you spell it, Anakano. Yeah. I-N-K-N-O-C-K. Time out, time out, time out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've been saying it like 18 different ways, alright? Inakanu. Inakanu. Inakanu.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] With me, you, Tyrese. Right, y'all trip.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Weren't you guys like walking? I thought I saw a video of you guys walking. Like Donovan is short.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I guess you would have to throw em in if I can't think of a fourth one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You gave one out. That's how you would spell it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What do you mean? We got Akachua. That's like four hyphenations. Archon and Akano. Ak?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Nah, I'm not even gonna try to spell that one. LED court reactions.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I, I do like, what, what was the, they don't do that anymore, uhm, it was like the competition that had,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like one active player, or like a retired player, WNBA player, like whatever that shootout competition was.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's, yeah, but like, the astronomical number, like, people were like, oh, that would be like a million, like, nah, it would have to be way more than a million.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] On court. Not including off court, so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, what's a million to a goddess making 90? You know, it's a million.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Not too dumb. It's still a million dollars. It's still a million dollars, but they don't feel the same. That was me?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Boy, I'm diving on the floor, I'm taking charges for that mill. Boy, I'm going crazy. But, I don't know, this is gonna be interesting.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Man, like this dude was like your role model growing up. Wow. My role model? Yeaah. I think you're saying it because you're white.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, his name was Arnie Duncan, bro. Look, the first one, YouTube, Arnie Duncan dominates all-star celebrity games. What was that? Uhm...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] 20 points, 11 rebounds, 6 assists? Flirting with a tripped up?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That was the second most shout attempts I saw on Twitter last week.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, Matt, I thought it was your role model, cause this was probably like 2014, so, in the prime of Matt Hillman's basketball career. You know, I thought this was like a guy you would look up to.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I can't wait to come up with a name for Bogie. I can't wait. I'm sitting here looking at his last name trying to figure out how to.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Imma come up with a good name for him. Cause that would be cool. Two good vets.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, good shooters, space in the court, make things easy for everyone else. Uhm, so it'll be, it'll be good, but obviously, lot, lot of love to, to Malachi, to, to QG, to Ev, honestly, Ev is,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Probably like the best, like the biggest professional I've been around in the league.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Putting in work before and after practice, uhm, doing everything he was supposed to do to make sure he stayed ready if his name was called. So I got, I got a lot of love for, for Ev and uhm, how professional he was in his whole approach. Cause obviously it's, you know, he was in the, you know, the toughest position you can be.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, you know, in basketball and on the team, so I got nothing but love and respect for him.


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[Assistant] It would be nice if he returned a text, a phone call, or FaceTime since he got traded, but uhm, you know, a lot of love for those guys.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] See how the protest goes. No comment. I was about to say, boy, you better save that money. No comment. Yeah. We'll see what happens with the, with the protest. I'd like to save my money. Let's play make y'all come up. If y'all pay the fine.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That was an interesting one. And more positive news, obviously a big shout out to Kaitlyn Clark becoming the all-time NCAA Women's Point Leader. Uhm, that's, if she comes back, she's obliterating this record.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] She's in her year? Yea, cause she, I think she gets the Covid year.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So she can, I think she can come back. If she, if she comes back, she's, she might touch 5,000. Why wouldn't she come back? She should. 100% without a doubt. She's gonna make way more money from NIL. Like I said, I don't, I don't know how to, the NIL, first off, it's, I, it's...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's, I'm all for it, like, I felt like I was, whenever, when I got out, I was, whenever anyone asked me about getting paid, I'm like, yo.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes, it has. Because I feel like dudes aren't, aren't coming in into college or even into the league being one of duns with like, actual fundamentals. Like now everything is like, potential, athleticism, run fast, jump high, can dunk like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, before you invert, you're like a future first round pick, but like you don't have that fundamental like foundation that I feel like


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes, this year's draft's ass. Oh. Honestly, and it's like, I really don't know who's in the...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because watching, uh, watching the college basketball I've watched this year,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm, I'm not, I'm not impressed with a soul. Whoever's getting drafted, they might be, they might be at my neck next year. Hey, and, and more power to them. Uh, nothing but wealth and success, but.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You for sure would be a first round pick this year. You might be lottery. I'm talking about me coming out of college. You might be lottery. I'm talking about Jalen Brunson, 2018. Junior.


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[Assistant] That wasn't Syracuse. That was the Orangemen. That's what they were. They weren't like the... Syracuse had a model.


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[Assistant] With that said, we appreciate y'all for tuning in, for showing love, uhm, as always to the roommates, uhm, make sure you guys tune in, uh, every Thursday, uhm, you know, hope y'all love the content, make sure y'all like, subscribe, and keep rocking with us.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hey now, you're an all-star. Get your game on. Go play. Hey now, you're a rock star. Get the show on. Get paid. And all that glitters is golden. Only shooting stars break the mold.


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[Assistant] The thing is, our cultural conditioning, our society's conditioning from a very young age is 80% job.


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[Assistant] Manah dukhanam vettaddu. Manah mendeuk manah enterprise vettaddu. Manah mendeuk world class product sayar jeyaddu.


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[Assistant] Google, Facebook, Twitter.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Real people with real hands on authentication experience.


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[Assistant] Who was that crazy back and forth duo? I know Chauncey made you think about the game, but who was that when you first went up against and it was like, all right, I'm at this nigga here. We going crazy at each other. Uh, at the, in the league? Yeah. Uh, Darren Williams.


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[Assistant] But do you remember that day from start to finish in Milwaukee?


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[Assistant] Real people with real hands on authentication experience.


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[Assistant] Let's do this real quick. Top 3 second round picks of all time.


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[Assistant] They probably got the nod. Y'all there though. Talent on the paper. Paper crazy.


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[Assistant] On paper it's not. Paper warrior is y'all silly. Yeaah. But with the, with the diesel and, and coaster.


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[Assistant] Only thing about Deezer. Cause who the fuck is guarding, uh, uh, Shag? Loom Loom? It'll be tough.