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[Assistant] I think they, they went good on all of it. I could tell Noah's Ark didn't get that many laughs and that got cut. But I mean, it was like everything that got cut was like, yep. Yeah, they made the right choices.


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[Assistant] Yeaah, so we didn't have anything that... George Washington got the biggest laugh at dress rehearsing.


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[Assistant] And then it did too in the show, but it was, yeah, it was, you could tell.


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[Assistant] Chef was very good. Uh, I mean, they, they moved it all up, airplane did good, you know. That's like watching a movie. Fred Drescher was, is the one that I was a little surprised.


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[Assistant] Sarah, who does, Fran Drescher is really great at it.


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[Assistant] You know, that hoda kid, and it was like just very funny. It was just, you know.


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[Assistant] Give me some love song. I bet if you told him it was in the days of thunder movie scene where Cole was first starting to drive, he would have gotten it right away. Cause I know he's seen that movie more than once.


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[Assistant] Hope everybody's happy. We got to the bottom of that.


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[Assistant] I did, yeaah. I had a good one. I beat my old record today.


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[Assistant] Crazy to do. When you do a Krispy Kreme challenge just alone in a car, it feels different.


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[Assistant] What are, what are peeps in the Easter? Fours, right? The groups of four. So why would that be? Why doesn't it come in a dozen?


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[Assistant] You're saying basically when you go and you eat a box by yourself, you appreciate it.


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[Assistant] Dusty almost literally killed that day. That was from Bonnie Abrams. Bonnie Abrams.


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[Assistant] I found Bonnie Abrams, that's a, she probably had some run-ins with the law.


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[Assistant] Bonnie and Clyde's. I don't know. It's just Bonnie Abrams. Yeah. I feel like, or maybe married to JJ. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, Bonnie. Like, I mean.


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[Assistant] Uh, they loved each other. That's for sure. That's more important. Yeah, they robbed the banks. Okay. And then they had a big shootout and won. I think they killed a lot of people, I think. Oh, really? I thought they did. Maybe. I don't think so.


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[Assistant] Uh, uh, what's, yeaah, what's natural born killers?


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[Assistant] I remember this being- Never seen that? I don't think so. Saving Private Ryan? I don't think I've seen it either. I've never seen it.


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[Assistant] That came out when I was, uh, would have been in high school, I think. And it reminded me of my senior year. And I remember being super popular. I, uh, did I, I don't think I saw it. And, uh,


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[Assistant] Natural born killers, because we have been switched to saving private Ryan.


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[Assistant] Oh, we're talking about that now? Well, we were. You said save and private run and then we kept talking about it. Oh, okay. Save and private run.


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[Assistant] Yeah, but I think now, if we went back and rewatched it, it's like you would be able to handle it more just cause we're desensitized a bunch. Yeah. It's very volatile.


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[Assistant] Christine Conlon. Conlon. Christine Conlon. That is a good name.


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[Assistant] That's got a good ring. I'm a founding folk. Yeah. I like that. Yeah. Founding folk. Founding folk.


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[Assistant] It's a very, yeah. So I see what you're saying though, cause it's, they, you know, they, they're on the founding fathers and then Christopher Columbus or whoever.


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[Assistant] That, it is like, cause you, when something starts, and you would be like, oh I wanna go to it, and then you could, you know, if it's a very last minute decision.


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[Assistant] Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've gone into I think a sporting event where it's you missed.


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[Assistant] You know, but it just randomly happened and you're like, well, I went to, yeah, the Marshall.


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[Assistant] I remember being there and I think I do, yeah, I, I do, I remember walking in there and all that stuff that I might've, I might've, you'd have asked me, I might've said I've never been here. Yeah. That's man, that's crazy. I do remember that. There's been a lot of stuff.


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[Assistant] Eric, great. My dad is 70 and recently got a new phone, but he didn't want to put a phone case on it. His solution, he carried it around in the box that it came in.


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[Assistant] Uh, I think he had a lot of missed calls as it took him a while to get the box open every time it started ringing. Well, I love that. That's so fun.


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[Assistant] I think I also have a mix of I don't, I'm just, there's times I just.


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[Assistant] I hate the phone and I don't, and I don't care. Like, you're almost like where you're like, you know, I left my phone last night in the, uh,


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[Assistant] I don't care. You know, if there's, I don't need it, then we got it.


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[Assistant] Yeah, there's, yeah, it's just, yeah. So I think I have a feeling of that, like, you know, it's almost like, I don't know, maybe breaks forever and it'd be great. Uh, Nathan McCarter.


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[Assistant] Just finished Dusty's full set that he uploaded to YouTube and it is phenomenal. All right, Nathan. I've always enjoyed him on the pod, but hadn't heard him, heard a full set from him. It had me rolling in the airport while waiting to board. Hopefully I'll catch him around in the near future.


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[Assistant] Yeah, it's hot. I had a weird, like this, uh,


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[Assistant] Yeah, go check. You look like in this video, like in the office space.


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[Assistant] Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That, that, that character is great. Like, yeah, like it's that your, your beard is just, it goes down and it's heavier a little bit more. Yeah. And those glasses and then, yeah.


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[Assistant] Yeah, I had, uh, why was it up? It was for like something.


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[Assistant] Yeah, this weekend, like, cause I was doing, it was interesting.


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[Assistant] Uh, cause this was the first, uh, this was the first shows after SNL. And so the stuff I did on SNL was I do in my act. So doing those jokes again, it was interesting.


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[Assistant] Like it's like, cause it's like, they definitely know these. You felt them that they knew it? Yeah. Yeah. I don't think they minded like the donkey story cause it's a story. I mean, I don't think they mind it. You know, it's just in my act and I kind of looked at it as.


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[Assistant] You know, the way you look at a tonight show where you're just kind of like, yeah, this is just a glimpse of my, you know, I'm still doing 58 or 50 minutes of not that.


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[Assistant] But it's uh, it was, but it was very, it was an interesting feel.


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[Assistant] Yeah, it was, it was, yeah, I mean, I didn't feel that the crowds were unreal this week, but it was, it's just, and some of it is like could be in your, my head and you know.


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[Assistant] How tall is Dusty? I heard him, Aaron call him 5'3", at least three times over the past couple of pots. I know, I don't know where that's coming from. I'm sorry.


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[Assistant] It's, uh, I said this weekend, Gary Veeder made fun of me because I said in the NBA, I was like, in 50 years, is it like everybody in the NBA is seven feet tall.


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[Assistant] Yeah, I always feel there's more concussions now than ever.


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[Assistant] You know, but I thought everything was supposed to get safer.


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[Assistant] Someone just falls and just hits their head on the ground and they don't know where they're at. And it feels like every four or five plays, someone's injured. It's like, there's a UFC fighter, uh, in a fight recently and he got, it looked like he got, uh,


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[Assistant] Yeah, it's not what country, you know, that's, that's a little, it would be more.


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[Assistant] Yeah, it was like, but it was just funny. He was like, what country are you in? And he didn't say it or something. And you're like.


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[Assistant] You know, I don't, why would this guy know about Dubai? Like, you know, it's not.


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[Assistant] You just said yea, I did what? I'm saying yea, that's what, that's what it is.


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[Assistant] Yeah. I mean, that's an insane, like I want to, you know, I might've said Saudi Arabia.


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[Assistant] Yeah, but I mean that's, that's a pretty tough, and then he's like, this guy doesn't know where he's at. You're like, I mean, that's a tough.


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[Assistant] I was almost supposed to go to UAE, uh, and we did not.


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[Assistant] In high school? No, for the stuff for the troops. Yeah. Stuff for the troops.


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[Assistant] Can you like not, I mean, what are the, uh, yeah.


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[Assistant] I don't know yet, but it's a trip, but it's, uh, maybe I don't do some standup, but it's not cause of standup. Okay. I'm not going cause of standup.


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[Assistant] Yeah, and China just sneaks up out of nowhere. Yeah.


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[Assistant] Where's the remote remote play? Oh, it's in, uh, the remote remote city is in Australian Perth.


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[Assistant] How is it they're, at Brazil, how's it their winner if it's starting to become our winner?


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[Assistant] Uh, after listening to Aaron's audio special, I think Aaron might be the best new comic of the year.


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[Assistant] Aaron's joke about family feud was hilarious and had me almost pee my pants.


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[Assistant] Overnight success is 20 years. It's like that's anything that you ever do. You know?


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[Assistant] Yeah, is there anything else to add? We can say where you're going. Yeah, I mean we had a topic today, but I mean we ended up just kind of.


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[Assistant] Yeah. I didn't know you were in the country until this morning. I didn't hit Nate up because I thought it, you know, your life's been crazy the last two weeks. Yeah. Yeah. There was, I got a lot of tech.


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[Assistant] You're doing stuff that entire week. And then I come home for.


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[Assistant] A day or two, we do podcasts and then, you know, it's like, you don't really have time. Like I don't want to just get done with doing this.


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[Assistant] You know, if it's a big, people ask a lot of long questions on text. You know.


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[Assistant] Yeah. You're like, it's a crazy- Walk me through the week, buddy. Yeah.


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[Assistant] It's funny, that is the heart. I didn't want to, I don't want to do that to your friends, but you want to go like.


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[Assistant] Hey, some of you are going to go like, dude, I'll give you a very brief example. I talk about it all in the podcast. So if you want to go here, but yeah, I'm not going to just text my buddies that link. Loser. You know, I don't ever say that.


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[Assistant] Yeah, uh, so alright, well this week, uh, uh, uh, I'm in Las Vegas in Cleveland. Uh, the new tour has been in.


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[Assistant] Now it's for 2024, uh, tickets are up before sale. Uh, so make sure you go grab those. The shows have been super fun after this. I mean, I am going to take a little time off after this, the end of this tour. So, uh.


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[Assistant] It won't be insane, but I mean, I don't, I don't know. I don't really know what it might be. Might be eight months, might be a year. I'm not sure.


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[Assistant] Uh, and then I'll go back out and do a big, big tour. But so, uh, you got, yeah, Cleveland, Cleveland, Erie, Pennsylvania, all that, uh, and then going into 24. But so the end of this Be Funny tour will be, I'll be kind of ducking back.


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[Assistant] You come back. You come back. Yeah. So I'll be in all that stuff. And we've loved it. We've had to thank every single person coming on the road. You're, you're the best.


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[Assistant] Yeah. So why would you not just say they're going to be there? Well, I was getting there.


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[Assistant] That's kind of the vice versa of what he just did. Maybe you shouldn't call it.


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[Assistant] Uh, all right. Uh, that is it. We love you. I hope you have a great week and I think we will all be here next week too. We should. Yep. Yep. So, all right. See ya. Bye.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Nate Land is produced by Nate Land Productions and by me, Nate Bargetzi, and my wife Laura on the AudioBoom platform.


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[Assistant] Recording and editing for the show is done by Genovations Media. Thanks for tuning in. Be sure to catch us next week on the Nate Land Podcast.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It hasn't been two years. I think it's been close because I don't think you've been on since Dusty's been a regular. Yeah. And Dusty started episode 100 and this is like 170. Had you had your kids since you were here last? I don't think so.


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[Assistant] It shouldn't be though, because I mean, a lot of times it's when some quarterback or somebody just left the field and they're on the field to an interview and they throw it on real fast. But I mean, news anchors, it should be.


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[Assistant] There's no reason, unless you sat down five seconds before it started, that...


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[Assistant] It should be put in for you, probably taped out or strapped out somehow.


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[Assistant] I don't know, but even a zoom that has no delay is a little bit, it's not obviously the same.


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[Assistant] When they showed the graphic of you as a Miami thing kid, Nick wouldn't be able to see it. Like I don't get it.


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[Assistant] And I know for my TV days when they do stuff like that, I don't know for sure, but usually they outsource it. They hire some company in whatever town they're in to send a guy over who gets, so that guy I'm assuming did not work for ESPN. He was just someone they hired.


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[Assistant] That should, if they're trying to do their best, they should care how it looks. It's on there.


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[Assistant] I hope, cause this episode comes out next week, so though I've already been another Manning cast.


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[Assistant] Well, to your point, I mean, you gotta, yea, no one cares how you, production wise, I mean, these guys here.


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[Assistant] But they says the first time in 700 and something.


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[Assistant] No, the delay is so funny because even after the game, Scott Van Pelt's, I mean, you see it every night on ESPN. He's interviewing Will Levis, holding a mic and there's a slight delay. So Scott Van Pelt will say something funny.


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[Assistant] And then he gets serious, but Will Levis will start laughing during the serious part because he's on a delay. You see it all the time.


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[Assistant] I was in Delaware this weekend, shows were great, standing ovation, which is rare to corporate, but standing ovation every show.


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[Assistant] Some big games this week, uh, Rutgers got a big bowl game, uh, Notre Dame got a big bowl game. Do you care about Rutgers? No. Okay.


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[Assistant] Last week's episode, which we recorded yesterday, I said co-ment two, um, right as we're rolling the credits, Aaron pointed out.


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[Assistant] Looked up. That's not accurate. It means equal work together, but not too.


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[Assistant] It also looked up when I got home, Noah, when it established, since that was a theme, 1970. Well it said 200 years.


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[Assistant] There was something like in the early 1800s where they patrolled the coastline. So it was called something else, but.


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[Assistant] And that was first done by a couple of girls from McGavick high school.


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[Assistant] Senior trip to Panama city. Yep. Look, they could see you now. I know. Maybe they're watching.


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[Assistant] No, he said he, I cut out a little bit, he said he tried to switch it and couldn't, so they just did it.


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[Assistant] Well, you talk, one of your airing of grievances was, uh, the way the woman parked in that Hallmark movie. Yes, it was crazy. I've never seen that. Yeah. This was the one where Cole was on with us. Yeah. And Sonny Gray came on later, but, uh.


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[Assistant] But yeah, he was, he, we had the video and a woman kind of parked in the middle of the street in this Hallmark movie. It just gets out of it. I watched the whole.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My wife, like on a Saturday or something, she's doing stuff around the house. She just has it on. The every story, the formula is kind of the same, so she can kind of tune in and out and kind of still know what's going on.


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[Assistant] She watches Great American Family now. I think that's another Hallmark similar.


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[Assistant] Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, I was joking about the horror. That's from SNL. Yeah.


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[Assistant] People just actively having drone sets have been that long. Don't you think like the last 10 years?


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[Assistant] Aaron talked about his drone. He said, those are the worst for people at the party. He's like, uuuh. So you can see your house. But she's saying that was a party to remember.


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[Assistant] Lucas Black, he's from like, I think Northern Alabama and his Southern accent's authentic.


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[Assistant] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Where, uh, you're like, well, that's authentic. And some of these are just bad. So bad, dude.


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[Assistant] Yep. Not as similar. Yeah. Yeah.


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[Assistant] Lake Beach. Well just, you put in Lake Beach movie, that's probably not coming up.


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[Assistant] Or come a movie, sometimes S and L movies come out of a sketch.


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[Assistant] Yeah, I guess they just, the club let them in the inside. I guess so. Well, no one was, it was just you out there. It was just me.


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[Assistant] I got a ton of CDs still left at my house that obviously I ordered more than people wanted because now nobody even does CDs. It sounds like something like that. Maybe the government spends a lot of money on something in the budget more than they needed.


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[Assistant] I'll give you one. I'll give you one. Did you see work? I think it's crack.com. Pick that sketch is the top sketch of the year.


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[Assistant] After the Tennessee kid or even sometimes even later than that. A lot of SNL was. Yeah. And it's just amazing.


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[Assistant] They just, they've gotten, not gotten over how big you've gotten, but it's just so hard to, after SNL, which impressed everybody.


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[Assistant] Like you done game day, which was a huge deal to me. You did, uh, the mining cast was huge deal and I'll tell my friends.


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[Assistant] And they're like, oh, that's cool. Like to me, I'm like, why wouldn't everybody watch this? But.


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[Assistant] They just quickly like, you get to a certain status and it takes so much to impress people.


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[Assistant] That's different than the one, was that the same thing? I guess every button has different.


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[Assistant] I mean, I felt that way about my wife because of the Bargatzees. I've said that before. The first time I ever told my wife I loved her was after leaving a Bargatzee family party because...


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[Assistant] He's like, you know, I've been in a lot of Christmas movies. So I went on last night doing some searching and I didn't want to stereotype, but when I was going through the scenes, you know, I tended to stop on the Christmas. He didn't tell me what role he was playing, but I kind of had a vibe, maybe what he was doing. So that's the only one I could actually find.


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[Assistant] Now were you on some SNLs too? I did. I tried to find it cause Peacock has all the SNLs. Elijah Woods.


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[Assistant] Well, I didn't, I couldn't find the clip, but did you do one where Elijah Woods was the, was the host?


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[Assistant] Yeah, unfortunately Peacock doesn't put the whole episode on there. Cause I, the ones I started- Oh, you already looked through it? Not that episode, but I looked through the other one with Lodgewoods and that particular sketch didn't look like it made it. Oh, bummer.


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[Assistant] That is a bummer. Yeah. I mean, I just saw you go through it. Seen him get cut real time. Yeah, yeah.


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[Assistant] But I went down a real Nick Novicki rabbit hole last night. I was up so late working on this, but I kept watching his clips. He's got some impressive stuff, like from Boardwalk Empire. There's one scene where you're killing a guy, stabbing him. One scene where you got shot by a gun.


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[Assistant] Yeaah. Alright, so Christmas, uhm, are you guys?


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[Assistant] Gift wise, Christmas morning, Christmas night, Christmas eve. What do we do? I feel like I asked this morning.


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[Assistant] Was there any similars behind the three presents that y'all came up with?


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[Assistant] I was like, is it like the wise man or something? No, I don't know. Just what's saying it. But that was all Christmas morning.


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[Assistant] Was midnight mass fun though? Cause you got to stay up so late. Even if it was messy or at least you're getting to.


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[Assistant] Well, they did a poll of American families. 18% open on Christmas Eve. 31% before breakfast. Uhm, is there a 16% after breakfast?


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[Assistant] Yeah, that's probably, it probably breaks down very similar to our age.


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[Assistant] Yeah, I feel like I'm having flashbacks. I feel like I remember you saying this three years ago. You're very consistent.


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[Assistant] Did you ever get a, or ever wish you got electric e-bike?


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[Assistant] They are awesome. What about Christmas trees? Artificial or fake? I mean, this is the same thing. Artificial or real?


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[Assistant] So, uh, I think I was about to ask you something. So you removed the tree on Christmas Eve.


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[Assistant] So most real Christmas trees come from two states. You want to guess what the number one state is?


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[Assistant] I think on the east coast, North Carolina is one of the big trees.


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[Assistant] I thought you would like this. Christmas trees, dude. Uh, which one's right for you? It kinda breaks down.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, somebody sent us, uh, Dusty, no, I think they mailed it to us, the Christmas ornament, Nate Land Christmas ornament. And I got home yesterday and put it on the tree.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, the reason Christmas trees even became a thing, uhm,


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[Assistant] Legend is, uh, 16th century evangelist, famous.


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[Assistant] It is Martin Luther, not Martin Luther King, Martin Luther. The bad one.


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[Assistant] Well, he did some stuff too, but, uh, anyway.


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[Assistant] And I learned this from Peppa Pig. Does your daughter watch Peppa Pig?


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[Assistant] Would they? They, Ms. Rachel posts videos sometimes of her doing stuff with other kids. When I went to New York.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] For SNL, I was trying to tell her, I'm going to where Ms. Rachel lives. And wouldn't that be amazing? I mean, she is a rock star to kids two or three.


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[Assistant] Uhm, I learned that they don't call it Santa Claus, they call him Father Christmas. In England, they call him Father Christmas. Yeah, that was British. I don't like that. You don't like that? Father Christmas? Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I also learned this, that they would call you a clever's clog. You ever heard that? What? Clever's clog. What is that? It's someone like the smart one in the group. A clever's clog? Can you Google clever's clog? Yeah.


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[Assistant] I don't know, who's Don Ho? He's like the only Hawaiian singer I can tell you about. But in, I mean, it's a very, you would know the song. I think about Christmas vacation when Clark Griswold is looking out his window at his imaginary


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Swing pool. That's the song that's playing. Do you have a favorite Christmas songs that you like listening to Christmas music?


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[Assistant] So that was done by Brenda Lee when she was 13. She lives here in Nashville and.


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[Assistant] 65 years later, it's now the number one song on the radio. Oh wow. That's crazy. Yeah.


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[Assistant] Yeah, I thought I heard about this. Yeah. Billboard number one song, I think for the last two weeks. Yeah. It's the longest length of time any song's ever been between being number one.


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[Assistant] Christmas, uh, silence. The Mariah Carey. All for Christmas.


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[Assistant] Again to his family. He's out with the boys. That's pretty crazy. You have a favorite Christmas movie?


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[Assistant] Yeah. Gonna wrap up. I did bring you guys some Christmas gifts. Did you really? Yep. Oh my gosh. Nice bag. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And of course Nate, for you, I got you something here.


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[Assistant] Uh, I'm January 4th, 5th and 6th. I'm in Tulsa, Oklahoma at the Looney Bin. I'm there first time. So I'm really excited about that. So come start the new year with me in Tulsa, Oklahoma.


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[Assistant] Today's episode of the Nate land podcast is brought to you by our good friends at dabble mint mobile. Hello, fresh and a G one.


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[Assistant] With Brian Bates by my side and across the table and Nate Seaton is our old friend, Mike Vacchione. Mike, how you doing?


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[Assistant] Yeah. That's right. Well, I think Dusty's gone for good now, right? Yeah, he's gone for good. Is he? Yeah. We had some irreconcilable differences. Yeah. Some creative differences. Okay. That we won't talk about on this episode. Right. He's gone.


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[Assistant] I know. Do you feel the weight on your shoulders to carry this episode, Brian? This is your, this is your moment. This is Tom Brady getting called in at, so gets hurt. You could become the goat after this episode. That's what it takes.


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[Assistant] Well, it's good to be here, Mike. I think this is Mike's first time on the episode since the special came out. Is that correct? Uh, yeah.


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[Assistant] Well, this is the first episode post plug. Post plug, yeah. So if you haven't seen it yet, first of all, get out from under the rock.


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[Assistant] You've been living in and check out the Attractives on the Nate Land YouTube page.


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[Assistant] 1.4 million views, man. 1.4 million. Yeah, we're doing good.


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[Assistant] Well, I listened. Yeah. Thank you. You're one of those thousands. Sometimes things are just.


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[Assistant] Drove to Huntsville. That's the way to do it. It's a beautiful drive. Yeah. Nashville to Huntsville. Yeah. It really is nice.


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[Assistant] Yeaah. Did you know, I know your entire thing. It's a space, Huntsville's a space. Yeaah, I know you love trash and where we're from and our families and everything. No, I love it. We have science down here.


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[Assistant] But one of the uh, sort of the landmarks making that drive down the Huntsville is at a rest stop, as soon as you enter Alabama, there is a replica of a Saturn V rocket. Wow. And I don't think it's actual, the actual size of one. I think it's a little bit smaller. Somebody told me. But it's huge. And you just see it, you're like, I'm driving through rural Alabama. Shacks. On the side of the road. I love that. And then,


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[Assistant] Well, don't you love the contrast? You think shack is a derogatory term? I think it's someone living in a shack.


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[Assistant] A NASA rocket. Well that's a shame they took that down.


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[Assistant] I haven't made that drive in a while to be honest with you.


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[Assistant] It's time for it to go, the tourism director says.


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[Assistant] Let's put something else up. What do you think would embody the state of Alabama? What should we erect at a rest stop in Alabama to let people know, hey, you're here.


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[Assistant] To take it down, clean it up and put it back up, that's a million dollars.


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[Assistant] I don't know the numbers, but I did just call their house a Shaq's and I'm sorry about that. You're from there. So yeah. But I'm saying that particular stretch of where you're approaching the rocket, you look out to the right and you think, that's what I think of when I think of Alabama.


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[Assistant] You know, the caricature of the South, there's a little bit of that leading up to that rocket.


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[Assistant] They're my people. Yeah. For sure. So I can say whatever I want about them. Yeah.


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[Assistant] I've been gone, I've almost lived here as long as I've lived in Alabama.


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[Assistant] There is a certain point where, yeah, I think I say I'm from Tennessee now. I'm not from Alabama anymore. I bet you do say you're from Tennessee. Depends on who I'm talking to. Tennessee does sound a little better in some parts.


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[Assistant] Yeah, they're a Padres affiliate. Okay. In San Antonio.


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[Assistant] That's pretty good. Padre does mean father. That's pretty good. I was, uh, I was with Kathleen Madigan this weekend. Wow. Did some shows. Eau Claire, Wisconsin, Madison, Wisconsin, Chicago, Illinois. How'd they go? They were, I mean, I got a standing O.


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[Assistant] It's a big milestone, man, doing 25. Uhm, you do it when you're headlining this club, you do it in an hour, about an hour.


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[Assistant] Yeah, you go, well now I gotta do an hour because this guy couldn't do his time, you know, couldn't do 25.


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[Assistant] We did a 10 day continuous show in Nashville.


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[Assistant] Oh wow. 24 hours a day for 10 days.


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[Assistant] Longest one person said, didn't Dane Cook have it at one? Yea, Dane Cook did, yea. 10 hours? Right, something like that.


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[Assistant] Well let's get into these comments here. Do you have a dad? I'm sorry, do you have a dad? Good, so it wasn't, it's not like... Not anymore, he died. Okay.


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[Assistant] We've got an unbelievable collection of comments here that we're gonna read through, compiled and read by Brian Bates.


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[Assistant] I'll read them if you want me to, but I'm saying you're the one that put this list together.


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[Assistant] These comments come from Twitter, Instagram, YouTube, Apple, podcasts, reviews, and if you're an old fashioned and you want to send one via email, via, via.


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[Assistant] Via, via Nate land at natebargetzi.com. First comment comes from Justin Anderson. I've done it, I've done it 12 times already.


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[Assistant] Justin Anderson. I am 44 and about a year into comedy, so I'm on the Brian Bates plan.


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[Assistant] I think, I think the difference is musicians are, comedians are not sex symbols. Right. In the way that musicians are. Right. Right? Speak for yourself.


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[Assistant] But I'll get some practical advice, Justin, you're a year in a comedy. You already know this. You're going to be the old guy at these open mics and stuff. Which I am now. I'm at open mics and stuff around Nashville and I'm, I look around on them. I'm one of the oldest dudes here at 31. So I just, that's going to be tough.


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[Assistant] Become an incubator for these young comedians. And then I get 10 to 20% of, you know.


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[Assistant] We wish you luck, man. Hope to see you out there, uh, in the comedy world. It's a pretty small world. We probably will cross paths. If you stick around, if you stick around, I'm going to meet you at some point.


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[Assistant] Next comment is from Val Lafave.


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[Assistant] Wondering if you ever get homesick when you're on the comedy road. Seems like you all often travel with a friend and even sometimes Nate will mention that his family is along with him.


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[Assistant] Does traveling with friends and or family help you to avoid feeling homesick?


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[Assistant] I try to bring a friend when I can, and that just makes everything better.


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[Assistant] Really? Really? You like the alone? Well now you've got, now you've got a young baby. You've got a wife.


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[Assistant] Just around, like yeaah, around the hotel parking lot.


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[Assistant] Oh, that is a good feeling. You catch the end of the continental breakfast. Bring the plate up to the hotel room. Yeah, that's a good time. There's some time for college game day to start.


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[Assistant] But if you're on the west coast, football games start at like 9am.


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[Assistant] You really are treating it like a strip club. That's the cover charge? Do you mean the ticket?


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[Assistant] Like cages are under construction. Pandas are a big draw at that. Yes.


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[Assistant] Being in a town full of songwriters, he's talking about Nashville, not New York City. Being in a town...


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[Assistant] With other creative people or friends when working on new material.


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[Assistant] Whatever you guys are doing obviously is working well. That's nice. Just curious about your process.


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[Assistant] Uh, I love when people have tags for me. I always say, somebody said to me early, I asked a comic, I said, can I give you a tag? And they said, sure. As long as you don't care if I don't use it.


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[Assistant] People after shows go, I wanted more out of that. Like.


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[Assistant] People quote that to me. I had a joke about cats. And what do you do when a cat dies?


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[Assistant] What you do with the body. Yeaah. Kinda walked through that. It was not a good joke.


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[Assistant] Not an important word to the bit. Right. A woman comes up to me after the show and she said I got a little idea for your cat joke.


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[Assistant] And I said, all right, I love to hear it. She goes, talk about cat etiquette, etiquette.


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[Assistant] I'd say that to Dusty who I was opening for at the time and he said, if you did that, the show would have changed.


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[Assistant] Oh man, let me tell you a little something about Babel. It is...


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[Assistant] I haven't been, I'm going in a couple weeks. I'm pretty excited. This fall you can start speaking a new language with Babbel. Let me play you a little something.


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[Assistant] Hear that sound? That's the sound it makes when you get a correct answer on one of Babel's language learning quizzes. You hear that? Doesn't that feel good?


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[Assistant] That's a good feeling. And you can get a lot more of that if you use Babel. Picture this, you're sitting at your Thanksgiving dinner, you surprise your family by starting an argument, I mean discussion.


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[Assistant] Uh, start today and get ready. Look, but this is not what Babel does. Babel doesn't write jokes. They teach people new languages, right? And they do a heck of a job at it. And you can start today.


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[Assistant] With babble because it works instead of spending hundreds of dollars for a private tutor or fooling yourself with language learning apps that are little more than games. Babbles quick 10 minute lessons are designed over 150 language experts to help you start speaking a new language in as little.


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[Assistant] Continue to prove Babbel is better. One study found that using Babbel for 15 hours is equivalent to a full semester at college and 10 million people have bought subscriptions. 10 million people can't be wrong. So here's a limited


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[Assistant] One time deal for our listeners to get you started right now. Get 55% off your Babel subscription. How much?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] 55%. But only for our listeners at Babbel.com slash Nate. Get 55% off at Babbel.com slash Nate. That's spelled B-A-B-B-E-L.com slash.


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[Assistant] Nate, rules and restrictions may apply.


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[Assistant] Well, there was this game called the Little Rascals game where they won by a fake field goal at the end of the game. And yeah, I do harbor a little resentment for Michigan State.


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[Assistant] Doesn't that really rub it in when you lose and they call it the little rascals play? Yea. Anyway. Alright, I'm sorry I brought it up. Sorry to all the Spartans out there.


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[Assistant] What's the next comment? We got one from Kian Beard, Switzerland.


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[Assistant] You guys were talking about how a 40% chance of rain doesn't mean there is a 40% chance you will be rained on.


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[Assistant] But there will be rain in 40% of your area. That's correct.


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[Assistant] If 40% of your area is covered in rain, there is still a 40% chance you will be rained on.


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[Assistant] Love the podcast though, keep it up. I don't think that's true because I don't think that's right either.


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[Assistant] Cover all the air all the land that sounds wrong.


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[Assistant] I love your frustration. That's what everybody thinks it means. Cause that's the way it sounds, right? But what they're actually saying is the area about which they're talking. Yes. That means that percentage will see rain.


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[Assistant] So when they say 40% chance of rain, rain, that means 40% of this area will 100% see rain. Oh wow. That's what, that's what it means. So it's a little confusing.


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[Assistant] Yeah, no, they're manipulators too and they talk down to you and they're condescending.


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[Assistant] Catherine Zochler. That's a great name. That is. Zochler.


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[Assistant] He mentioned hearing this guy on Jim Rome. Wow. I haven't heard Jim Rome's name in a while. He was great. Talk about cold showers. I said, oh yeah, Mike Vecchione is big into cold showers. To which he replied, who is Mike Vecchione? Exactly.


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[Assistant] Sounds like a Jim Rome listener.


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[Assistant] Anyway, I started taking cold showers the next morning and it's not exaggerating much to say is changing my life. Thank you for passing along the tip.


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[Assistant] Eat the frog, isn't that what it's called? Oh, I didn't know that. You ever heard that expression? Uh-uh. Eat the frog? No.


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[Assistant] Jeff Larson, great name. I've been listening to old episodes and just finished the wall street episode. God bless you.


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[Assistant] That was a tough one. Just curious how old Diamond Hands is doing on his investments. Well, I appreciate it. I will say, uh, I cashed out a little bit of AMC stock. Made a little bit of a profit. Oh, you did? Felt good. I held GameStop.


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[Assistant] Still have it? Still have it. Well that's the one that you were really...


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[Assistant] That was a big one. I thought that was taking me to the moon and it still might, you know, and I will say I mostly haven't sold it because I forgot about it.


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[Assistant] That's what they tell you today, right? I forgot about, I think I deleted the app from my phone, but you know. Don't they tell you invest it and just forget about it?


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[Assistant] For example, side of your body, for the rest of your life, what would it be?


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[Assistant] But then you wake up with some shoulder pain, don't you? If you're sleeping on the side.


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[Assistant] Head straight up. The whole time? Mhm. Well you got to cause the CPAP. The CPAP machine.


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[Assistant] J.R. Baker from Dallas. That was J.R. Ewing. Yeah. Wasn't there a Baker? Mmm, Dallas. Bakersfield. Can someone get good at creating material for stand-up?


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[Assistant] I misread that the wrong time. I was saying for the love of God, could somebody get good? I was like, geez, Jr. Can someone get good at creating material for standup or is it one of those things you either got it or you don't? Okay.


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[Assistant] Are there guys, you don't have to name names, are there guys when you started?


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[Assistant] You saw them out in New York, you thought this guy is not funny.


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[Assistant] And then they surprise you and now they have a big career.


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[Assistant] Yeah. Well, I was talking about this this weekend. You do need a little bit of delusion. Yes. To just keep going. Because if you're fully aware, at least for me, if I was fully aware of how bad I was, I probably would have quit. Yeah. You know, but in my head, I'm like, there's something here, even when there isn't, you know, so it's a balance.


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[Assistant] And he surprised you when he started to do well. No, he was already great.


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[Assistant] Yeah, you got, you look, we poke fun, you got the life, you got a wife, you got a kid, your full-time comic.


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[Assistant] Jacob Hoover, from the Hoover family. I didn't know there was another side to this. One of the worst presidents ever. Right? Hoover? Yeah, what is he like?


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[Assistant] Well, there you go. Jacob Hoover. Thanks for writing in. Thanks for wearing that Aaron Land t-shirt. I sell Aaron Land t-shirts at shows. I don't think I'm going to buy more of them. Why not? Because I've had this batch for a while.


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[Assistant] And it is a tough, it's a tough sell to people who've never heard of me on a podcast.


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[Assistant] They've had a nice living in homes. Sure.


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[Assistant] Where do you all draw your inspiration for comedy from?


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[Assistant] He'll be the first to tell you he had a loving mom and loving dad. Yeah. And despite the circumstances, he still did grow up with a great family.


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[Assistant] Um, but yeah, most of the comics I hang out with are just like brutal family lives.


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[Assistant] I mean, I don't think I have a single comedian friend with a dad. Thanks buddy.


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[Assistant] I was just about to talk to you about mitten mobile. It's one of my favorite things in the world.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They probably threw in a free phone, but now you can't get off month after month of high bills, overages and surprise fees. If that sounds like your current big wireless plan, it's time to get off the ride with mint mobile. See, I like that. That's a good, that's a good metaphor.


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[Assistant] For the realities that a lot of us face being trapped in these contracts with these companies that don't care about you. They don't care about customer service for a limited time. Wireless plans for mint mobile are just $15 a month. That's unlimited talk, text and data for $15 a month. I mean, look, that is.


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[Assistant] A steel does crazy low prices. They offer great service that are so affordable. If you have kids, this is a great option for them to wireless bills keep increasing, but mint mobile can help you save.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Say goodbye to your big wireless plans, jaw-dropping monthly bills and unexpected overages. You can use your own phone number with any Mint Mobile plan and bring your phone number along with all your existing contacts. Get Mint Mobile's limited-time deal with premium wireless service for just $15 a month.


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[Assistant] So to get your new unlimited wireless plan for just $15 a month and get the plan.


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[Assistant] Shipped to your door for free. Go to mint mobile.com slash Nate. That's mint mobile.com slash Nate. Cut your wireless plan to 15 bucks a month at mint mobile.com slash Nate. Nice. $15 a month.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Make sure you have the right Mike Vecchione for his comedy special. I just realized there's a professional hockey player of the same name. He plays for my local team, the Hershey Bears. That show might totally bomb if he gets mixed up.


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[Assistant] I didn't know you were a hockey player. We're just like, June of this year, Vec you score the series winning goal and overtime of game seven of the 2023 Calder Calder cup. That's what it was. Yeah.


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[Assistant] And the Zoologist has a Wikipedia page too. Yea. Yea, you don't have one, huh? A Wikipedia? Yea.


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[Assistant] It just means without paper, it's not dirty. It's an acronym. It's like NASA.


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[Assistant] Yeah, I see a vigilante Brian Bates.


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[Assistant] Here we go, we got a comment from Brandon Conrad. We just did that one. Just did that one.


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[Assistant] We got one from Robert Raimi. What should, oh, this is a good question.


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[Assistant] What should the speed limit be if all cars are self driving? That's an interesting question. Yeaah. Now I know that uhm, for gas powered vehicles,


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[Assistant] During the cold war when there was, uh, gas and oil shortage.


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[Assistant] A lot of the speed limits were changed to 55 to maximize engine efficiency.


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[Assistant] But with a, I assume that these self driving vehicles are all going to be electric. I don't know.


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[Assistant] How the speed affects battery, I don't know if there's like a maximum efficiency point.


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[Assistant] So, I think you can just go as fast as you want.


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[Assistant] But, uh, so 6 million dollars in the future will be nothing. Just inflation and everything. It'll be like Zimbabwe money or something. So I imagine maybe in the interstate we have an express lane on the left and it's just like, hey, you can't get off for 500 miles or something and you have to drive 250 miles an hour. That would be the way to do it.


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[Assistant] I think so. I think you have to commit to a certain length just so everyone can get the most out of it.


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[Assistant] Yeah, it would have to almost have a separate exit. There should be a lot of infrastructure involved in this, I think.


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[Assistant] Michael Ellsworth, do you find yourself adjusting final jokes at the end of your set to be sure you don't quote pull a bait at the end?


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[Assistant] Oh man that's brutal. Like if a joke doesn't land with a crowd, do you have an alternative for the end of the set?


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[Assistant] Or if something kills harder than normal, will you finish the set early to end on a high note?


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[Assistant] He's talking about the, uh, the, uh, fiasco, about the standing ovation and everything, the driver. I think that's what he's reading.


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[Assistant] If you've done your time, you're like, yeah, might as well just tap out of here for sure.


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[Assistant] It hasn't come out yet, but the one with John Chris. I can't remember what I've seen people.


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[Assistant] Is it hard for you to jump, you get whiplash from jumping back to sincere and sarcastic? No, I don't know.


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[Assistant] I run through it in my head, I think about stuff I wish I hadn't said, that kind of stuff.


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[Assistant] It was like, let's bow our heads. It's really great. And that gets there. It'd be like, oof, very quiet. And then you can start your set. That's really great. That's a good technique. Tough to do in a club.


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[Assistant] Maybe since, I don't think I ever did it in high school. Maybe I did in high school. I can't remember.


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[Assistant] Same age. I think we're the same age.


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[Assistant] The first version was written in 1892.


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[Assistant] At the, to the right hand's extended, blah, blah, blah. Anyway, yeah, that's.


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[Assistant] So this is probably done in the kind of the, the cold war fear. Yeah.


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[Assistant] Really? I mean, it's just that? 165? Is there like a medical definition? No. Official definition for a genius.


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[Assistant] How, how did you build the crib crib, right? Were you a genius about it?


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[Assistant] Yes, so there'd be 150 geniuses in the country?


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[Assistant] You have to take a test. Do you have to have an IQ over a certain...


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[Assistant] Yeah, you have to take a test. You have to have a certain IQ to apply, correct?


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[Assistant] Some of the best conversations are just out there. You know? Talk about that kind of stuff.


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[Assistant] Right. Your self-declared genius. Yes. Let's get on it. Right. Fix some stuff. Yeah. I have an IQ test pulled up here. I'm gonna run through some of these questions to see how we fare. We're just gonna do a few.


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[Assistant] You gonna participate, Mike? Yeah, I'm in. All right. You've been talking down to us this whole podcast. It's time to put your money where your mouth is.


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[Assistant] Be very condescending. What number is one quarter of one tenth of one fifth of 200?


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[Assistant] What number is one quarter of one tenth of one fifth of two hundred?


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[Assistant] This is the, a palindrome is a word or phrase that is spelled the same written. Explain what a palindrome is. Stets is a palindrome. That's true.


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[Assistant] Alright, now we start insulting the test makers. That was too easy. You guys are dumb. It's about to get real hard. I got bored of this pretty quickly. But, I think we passed.


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[Assistant] Oh, we quit the test? I got bored of it real quick. That's the best way. I mean, it's just, we're taking a math test on the podcast. Yeah, come on. I thought that would be fun.


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[Assistant] Well, that's part of it. The, the patients and the commitment required. Yeah.


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[Assistant] Try a window! You know, Einstein never officially took a...


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[Assistant] When do these celebrities take IQ tests and then release the results to the public? How does this come out? In every green room.


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[Assistant] He was on a show called the very short lived show on CBS called the shark, where he played it a quick witted attorney.


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[Assistant] This'll be geniuses, in parentheses, Rocky. Okay. Genius. We started doing that for episode titles.


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[Assistant] Georgia parentheses Regis Philbin, and this one will be.


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[Assistant] Somebody said we should stop calling it something because we barely actually talk about the topic. We should put what they actually talked about in parentheses.


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[Assistant] That thing was a genius and wrote a movie about himself being a genius. I don't know if he's a genius, but it says 160. Is that the best? 160 is pretty high. It is. Yeah. Have y'all ever taken, have you ever taken an official IQ test or anything?


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[Assistant] Well, delusional feels a little dismissive of a legitimate mental condition.


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[Assistant] Well, the real story is he, uh, he thought people were communicating to him through magazines and newspapers.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But obviously on film it plays a little better if he visually thinks that there are people around. But the real story is a lot less dramatic.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A little bit, but in the movie it's like he has a roommate who's not real and then like all this other people just walk in, like even at the end, years later, he's getting the Nobel Prize and there's...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, people that aren't real and right. And that's all kinda, that's Hollywood.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sam Morel was incredible. He knew a bunch of people in that movie, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Zuckerberg and uhm. Lower or higher than his net worth in billions. That's an interesting question.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, that's a great movie. Yeah, I'm all in on Bobby Fisher. Yeah, I love the Bobby Fisher. I don't like his chest. I like his views.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Psyche is just out of whack. Bobby Fischer went insane.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it's the crushing weight of just being a genius at something.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Being that good at something. You make sacrifices.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Why is that? Because of, uh, it hurts people. Because it's so mentally exhausting.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Multiple games of chess at once. He'll play like 20, 30 games blindfolded. And that's illegal in some countries now. It's pretty crazy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No. Just a smart guy. Yeah, just a smart guy. A smart guy and a good guy. That's the point. He's, he's, uh, his goodness.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That movie is unreal. I think Andy, I'll just to get off brand here right at the end. I think, I think that whole movie is a metaphor for Jesus. Wow.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think, I don't even know, I don't think Stephen King intended it to be that way, but I think it's like a near perfect. I bet Dusty would agree with you on this. Allegory for...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] An innocent man comes into a world of sinners and says, if you have hope, you can be with me in paradise later. And he leaves and then red meets him there. I think it's a pretty perfect.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's gotta be the scene where they have the beers on the roof.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, that's a feel good scene. Yeah, that's, that's um, yeah. Unbelievable scene.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But Limitless is, he's not a genius. It's all about just him unlocking the 100% of his brain. Right. With a pill, right? With a pill. He was a smart guy and they make a point of mentioning that in the movie. The drug dealer says it works better when you're already smart. Right. But he's not a genius.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's a genius. That's a genius premise for the episode. Yeah, absolutely.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] All right. All right. We did it, Mike. Thank you for stopping by. Thank you guys for having me. We appreciate you guys.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sold out the Friday show. Get these tickets while you can, ladies and gentlemen, Fridays, Friday and Saturday.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, so September 29th and 30th. That's awesome. Have you been to that club yet?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, right at four and then right to eight. A mad dash. Yeah. That's awesome. Tomorrow night, Thursday, September 28th, I'm in Ketchikan, Alaska.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] At the Creek Street Cabaret. Nice. Never been up there before. Pretty excited about it. Then this weekend I'm in Seattle at Here After. Crocodile.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Come on out next week, wise guys. Just come on out. We got, we got great shows.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, it's tough to do it that night.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I had this video file in a random folder called like omg.mp4 or whatever. Like what is this? And I opened up and it's an old video I took of myself when I was like 11.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I did it for comedic purposes, but it's a video of me eating yogurt while just crying. Oh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's an old website called crying while eating.com that I thought was hilarious, where it's just videos of people eating and crying and me being 11 or 12 years old. I was like, I want to get on this website. So I filmed a video of myself eating, uh, like yo plate yogurt. Like real tears.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I, I'm going to do something with that video at some point. It's too funny to not, just me in bold.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh really? I thought it was all done.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Why would they call it that? It's called the Hard Rock Casino, right? I know, but I think that, you know, it's...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh man, I don't know if I've seen a movie that good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I had one and I had the flight attendant got the biggest laugh I've ever heard a flight attendant get. We were landed somewhere and then we did a diverted landing like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They do this thing now whenever they want to start the announcements, they go.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Did anybody drop this? And everybody looks up and they go, now that I've got your attention.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I fall for it every time. I fall for it maybe 12 times on a flight. It makes me mad every single time they do it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Now I will say there is some justice because if you pre-board on Southwest, they do not allow you to take exit row seats. Okay. They do have that built in.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, if you do board early, they're not taking the best seats on the plane.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, the problem is Brian, there's another side of the aisle and they're going to have to reach across to get their stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think that's the best strategy. Yeah, I don't know why they don't do that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, I don't think I would. It depends on the mood I was in, where I was going. No, but I haven't sat in the middle seat in a long time and I don't plan on doing that in a long time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've been all, I haven't seen y'all in forever. I've been all over. I was in Salt Lake City this past weekend, which was a lot of fun. Wise guys comedy club, two hot shows there at wise guys. And then the week before that I was in Seattle and I was in Alaska, Ketchikan, Alaska. Had a great time. Y'all should both go up there. I'd love to go. I tried. Yeah. Do you try to go to Ketchikan?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I got to see a lot of Alaska. Shout out to the Ketchikan Adventure View. They took me and Jay Flake who came with me. We got on a boat within an hour of landing in Ketchikan. We were on the water.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Riding around, we got on some ATVs, riding, riding through the Alaskan wilderness, dude.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wow. Beautiful up there. I want to tell you something I saw at the bar there in Alaska. We were hanging out after the show. I don't remember the name of the bar. It's not important.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We were just hanging out there and all of a sudden a bell rings.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And everybody cheered at the bar and I said, what just happened? And evidently this is Alaskan tradition.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That if somebody had a good day or if you're just in a good mood, you ring a bell and you buy a round for the entire bar. And everybody, have you all heard of this before?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, I think I'd keep it to myself. And I, I was the only one that didn't know what this was. And they go, well, somebody's just bought a round for everybody. And they, you know, server walked around with poker chips.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, still a couple hundred dollars to that guy for sure, but it's not going to.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Break the bank. That's great. I thought about doing it after him, but I don't want to steal this guy's thunder. This guy kind of became the hero. I don't want to walk over after him and ring it twice.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Then you just leave. But I was at the next day, we're taking the ferry to the airport and you have to walk up and pay $3 or whatever to use the ferry. And I'm like, man, they should put a bell here.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh yeah, I would buy everybody's fair here. Let me ring the bell and everywhere I was going, I was like, I wish they just had a bell here. I'd ring it. I'd pay for everybody. That's very nice of you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, folks, we- folks. It's a tough word to s- I don't actually say that word that often. Folks.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We're excited to tell you about our new sponsor. Actually, I'm excited to talk about this. Delete Me. I was very excited when Delete Me came on board. The internet is the wild west and your data is probably available to everyone who's ready to pay for it. It's a real problem out here.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There are companies called data brokers that collect huge amounts of your personally identifiable information like your name, address, phone number, social security number. This sensitive personal information has been sold online for anybody to get.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That is where Delete Me can help you. They protect your data from data brokers, reducing the risk of identity theft, scams, and annoying spam calls. I mean, how many of those do you get every day? It's incredible. And emails.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Their software and team of experts will not just find and remove your personal information from hundreds of data broker websites, but they keep scanning for new data and get that removed as well.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I signed up for this as soon as we started working with them. It's a very easy process. You put in your information and they crawl out there for you. They crawl through the internet and they find where all your information is and then they let you know, uh, what they've removed. They communicate with you about the process. It's, it's, I have, I know people that have used it, that their phone number got out there, leaked.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] On the internet and they had that pulled down. It's an awesome, awesome service if you're into privacy on the internet, protecting your own data. They are offering a special discount for our listeners. The only way to get 20% off is to go to JoinDeleteMe.com slash Nate and enter promo code.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Nate at checkout. That is join delete me dot com slash Nate promo code.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do you have a poster of her? The original, maybe. Who were like your, your, like the women when you were a kid? Rita Hayworth? I was going to say Judy Garland.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Billy Jean King. Yeah, Billy Jean King. Was she a runner? Yeah, she was a tennis player. Oh yeah. One of the best of all time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Not in the Hall of Fame. What a shame. That is a shame. Let's see what the next comment says.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I did interrupt you pretty, yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, I've never worked with Mike Terry. It's always, uh, Bill Cody. Yep. And uh, Charlie, Bill and Charlie.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, thanks dude. And Nate had just been in Salt Lake City the weekend before, and a lot of people told me they came to both shows, which is very nice. Nate sold a few more tickets than I did, but it's nice that people came to both.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay. I did see that somewhere. Was that a clip that was posted at some point? No. Okay. Maybe I just heard tell.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But there's a margherita pizza, that's Italian, right? Margherita pizza.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What? Margarita pizza? Margarita pizza for sure is, but I just would say margarita.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's a lot you can say about you, Dusty, but you never pretend to be somebody you're not. Yes. That's what I'm saying.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't even know if leaf fits that pattern. River, rain, liberty.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, Liberty's kind of the odd one out there, right? Yeah. Summer.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, it could have been anything. Joaquin, Joaquin is almost fixing it as good as Leaf does. Yeah. Anyway.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, you've never seen that documentary have you? No. The whole thing was a joke. You would actually love it. Uh, would I? Yeaah, it was all designed, it was all a farce.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He goes, if you just had out that water, next thing you know, next thing you know, you're in Japan. And Jay Flake was like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Not from where we were, we were the very bottom right part of Alaska.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think the reason people objected to it is because it was offered as foreign policy. That's right. That's right. How are you going to deal with Russia? Well, I can see it from my house.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's kind of the accepted thinking and it has been for a long, long time. Is it? Yeah. Okay. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How about that? Well, that is, look, chase is probably smarter than me. That's a very nice. That is the most horribly written. I was, I was going to trash dusty for that. I mean, that's two sentences, that whole comment, basically just everything's common comp. That's just.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Did you edit that just before I trash chased? Did you kind of change the way this was written?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was so distracted, I barely know, I barely know what this comment said. Well, I can't believe, I don't believe this. That was tough, that was tough.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm sorry I attacked your syntax so much chase. It was just, it was distracting. Yeah, chase. I mean.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. How about this kid trying to destabilize the class by trying to, I mean, it'd be anarchy if everybody thinks this teacher doesn't know anything, right? And this is a question that's not really important to what they're talking about. And you're just going to waste time explaining this. Yeah. Destabilizing the, the intelligence.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, we'll have you draw the detention room.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I just look back at a lot of times where I thought I was in the right.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] With a teacher and now as I'm older, I take the teacher side a little bit more than I did.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But, and I haven't seen anybody else say that, but I think it, I think it fits.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] People are disgusting. I agree. I agree. And this is Wikipedia.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, this is, this is a specific brand. It's a brand of Playtex products.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] To steal money from the government, right? Yeaah. Yeaah, okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, be like the Robin Hood type situation. But, but you're just stealing it for yourself.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'd have to consult with a doctor and see what my realistic life expectancy is.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah man, you don't get the sweet release. Yeah. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, the answer is yes, that happens all the time, I think, especially.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I've been that guy. I've closed out a show and I thought other people have done better than me, but that show goes long. People were over it. The opener. The opener has a much easier. They're in a much better position. They have a shorter set. There's no expectation.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Of them from the crowd, so they can just kind of do whatever. It's looser. It's a lot easier of


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It does look cool. It's not in the shirt, but yeaah, it makes it look nice. What would you call it? I call that a pullover. Oh yeaah. A little quarter zip. A little quarter zip.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're playing like Rudy is a story about a guy overcoming adversity and persevering. It's about the human spirit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're just gladiators in a coliseum.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh man, Moneyball, Moneyball or Rudy, those are probably the two, my two favorites. Sandlot, they're all great. They all, they all scratch.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Actual footage from the games it's based on. Yeah, they did a really good job of it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They shot the actual game footage during, was it halftime of a football game?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. They're playing Boston College. That's right. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And in the movie they're playing Georgia Tech, but it was filmed in the middle of a Boston College Notre Dame game. So you can actually see a lot of Boston College shirts and stuff in the crowd.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. Sean asked, Sean, yeah, I think he was way younger than that. Okay. And then Lord of the Rings after Rudy, 51st dates. He's great.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay. Well, that's, that's as you age, I do watch that movie differently. I do too. Golly dude, if I were on that team, I'd be like, shut up. I know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This kid that's not good enough to be on the team. He's only on the team because the coach feels bad for him. So he's on and you're just like, I gotta listen to this guy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yapping at me, all practice. I'm a real athlete. Yeaah. I'm getting, you know, I have a scholarship to be here. This kid stinks. And I gotta pretend that he's a real football player.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I get that side of it too. But you gotta put all that aside watching the movie. I like the movie though. You gotta get into it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I just want to say, Dusty, I believe you that this is a good movie. This poster looks like this is the worst movie ever made.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's, it's a guy, and he's wearing a bathrobe and boxing gloves and then James Woods is leaning on him.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've never seen this message on a Wikipedia entry before. It said, this article's plot summary may be too long or excessively detailed.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It did lose $14 million, but you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Have I explained my theory about that movie? Have we talked about it in detail on the podcast?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's great stuff in there, but I have some, some age, I, I Googled the real story and


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There are so many differences between the movie and the real story that it kind of ruined the movie for me. And I understand that when you're writing a film, you do have to move things around. You have to change stuff for it to work.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] As a movie, but they made so many changes, chief of which being that every team the Titans played.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] 1971 or 1972 when the movie took place. Every school had already been integrated. So every team they played.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think integrated. Racially integrated. Okay. Yeah, desegregated. Yeah. There are black and white players on every team they play.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The whole point of the movie. Your joke line though. My joke is that, isn't that insane that Disney


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Not to say there weren't awful things going on back then, but it's like you created all of this because that wasn't even a narrative about this team at the time because every team also had


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Black and white players, they were all dealing with race in the same way the Titans were.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Now they were a great team. Now here's a detail that you should change if you're making a movie.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In real life, the Titans just obliterated everybody. There was not a close game the whole season. In the movie, the championship game comes down to the last play. It's a dramatic, you know, I understand that. But to fundamentally change.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The whole reason for the film, you're like, that feels a little...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah, you could, yeaah, you could do that, but it's like, every, that's the school, that's the actual school, T.C. Williams and- Or say, Lou-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Gary Bertier, who by the way, was committed to Notre Dame. He was the number one lineback recruit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Linebacker recruit in the country at the time. He, uh, after the season ended, he was paralyzed in a car accident in the movie.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is it to say, now it matters. You know, now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, it's just like you're changing these details in a way that just feels kind of deceptive and gross to me. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In college, I started, I looked this up. So this is way after the fact.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Legend of Bagger Vance. Oh yeah. And he's not even like a real person. Right, he's like a ghost of an old car.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I do feel bad about that. I'm sorry, Chase. If you're still listening, I don't think you are, but if you're still listening, I feel bad about it. I think a lot of times Brian will edit these comments in a way that, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. If I don't, I don't like chase. So you'll tighten it up for Nate, right? A lot of times. Oh yeah. I tighten it up a lot. Yeah. Do you change words a lot?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Major League is fun. Can a comedy be a truly great move?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In the same way that a dramatic film can. Because when I think of the greatest movies of all time, I gotta be honest with you, I don't think a single comedy is on that list. And I don't know why that is.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I think for some reason, when I see it, I don't take this as seriously as a movie.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Have you seen this movie? I have seen this movie. I, but I, I just don't think of it in the same vein as field of dreams or something like that. But what, what do you think that is? Why can't I take a comedy is I'm a comedian.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But if, I bet if I look at the IMDB's top 250 movies, these are the greatest movies of all time, how far along do we have to scroll down before comedy shows up?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I bet it's a lot further than that. Okay, we got 12 Angry Men, Schindler's List. That's not a comedy, right? I mean, Pulp Fiction is arguably a... Yeah, but nobody thinks of that as a comedy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Forrest Gump, is Forrest Gump a comedy? I think so. I mean, Forrest Gump is a...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's a rote romantic movie. It's a war movie. It's like a, it's an epic.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Goodfellas. I mean, you understand what I'm saying. I do understand. These are all dramas. These are all action movies. Uhm, or look, Silence of the Lambs is like a thriller.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is IMDB's top 250. These are, uh, as rated by IMDB voters. Gotcha. Gotcha. Kind of the definitive list as far as I'm concerned, because Shawshank is number one. I'm sure there are other lists.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I just, I don't understand. I don't even, I don't think it's right the way I think, but I just, I never think of comedies in that way. This says citizen Kane is the number one movie, the Godfather number two. I don't see any comedies on here.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] With, uh, Dustin Hoffman. Dustin Hoffman is number 17. I doubt it. I mean, I know it's on there, but I-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's what I'm saying. That's, that's the 17. That's just one. The rest of these are all.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, like James Earl Jones' speech at the end there. I didn't. It's kind of nice, but you didn't really.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Rudy or... Baseball. Oh, baseball. Rudy, you could argue Rudy's a baseball. Yeah, you could.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, The Sandlot was a big movie for me as a kid, The Sandlot. I've talked about some of these movies, they're like, they're so impactful when they come at a certain time of your life. Right. Now I think The Sandlot came out in 90, it came out when I was very young.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But growing up playing baseball, it was still quoted all the time. You're killing me Smalls. You're killing me Smalls. You play ball like a girl. All that stuff. I mean, my entire childhood these lines were quoted. I don't know how much this movie holds up as an adult. I mean, The Sandlot is a kid's movie.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And some would argue it's not even really a baseball movie. It's a movie about childhood. It's kind of a coming of age.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The, uh, the dog over the fence is a metaphor for Jesus.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hit a ball over fence and there's a dog that's over the fence and they're scared of it. And then ultimately the dog is not that scary.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And they learn to live with it. You don't think there's a metaphor somewhere? Do you have any theories on it?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're about to get older. It's adulthood. It's the gravity of, of real life, right? These kids are growing up. Some of them are.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think only one of them has hit puberty it seems. So they're like, they're right on the cusp of becoming adults.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, uh, here's the scary thing over the fence and it's not that scary. That's kinda nice. But I would argue...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh yeah, it's great. Yeah, James, James Earl Jones is kind of the common thread and all. How he really did? Yeah, he was, he was the guy who owned the dog. He was the blind guy. Oh, I kind


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Now there's some historical inaccuracies in that too, because


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When the kids visit his house, he's like, yeah, I played with George Herman Ruth. And you're like, well.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The color barrier wasn't broken. Oh yeah. You could not have been, unfortunately you could not have played with them. That's true. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What sport you want to do next? Well, I have a question for you. What, what, what?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What is a sports moment or team or something that you wish they would make a movie about?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because I was just very disappointed. I've always wanted a documentary about the Urban Myers era at University of Florida. That's when Tim Tebow was the quarterback.


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[Assistant] While Aaron Hernandez was on the team murdering people, half the team's been arrested.


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[Assistant] But they made a documentary that, uh, in my opinion was just a fluff piece. It's what I heard. For Florida, it made urban, it didn't talk about any of the things that are interesting.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What everybody wanted to hear was what was it like Tim Tebow being in the locker room with.


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[Assistant] Aaron Hernandez, what were the dynamics like amongst the team? And they didn't talk about any of that. They just talked about like the games.


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[Assistant] Well the claim was that he was involved with Joe Paterno's stuff, right?


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[Assistant] I don't think so. Now there has been a, there's been a movie about the Joe Paterno stuff, right? It was an HBO movie with Al Pacino. Al Pacino plays Joe Paterno. Was it good?


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[Assistant] That'd be a bold move. Make it a comedy about that. You know, let's throw in some jokes.


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[Assistant] If you've been listening to this podcast and it's a little too heavy, uh, we're sorry about that. What you should do is.


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[Assistant] Get with BetterHelp. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Do you ever feel like your brain is getting in its own way?


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[Assistant] Uh, sometimes it just helps to talk to somebody, to talk through these things. Therapy can help you figure out what's holding you back so you can work for yourself.


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[Assistant] Professionals, it's not, it's not just like me.


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[Assistant] What's the word I'm looking for? Connection. Any kind of, like, professional chemistry between the two of them. You can switch for no additional charge. Make your brain your friend. With, I like that.


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[Assistant] Well, is it any movie that just has basketball in it? Sure.


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[Assistant] There is a Disney Channel original movie. I cannot remember the name of it, but it was about an old Jewish basketball team. And I liked that one a lot. What's it called?


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[Assistant] Space Jam's awful, dude. I loved it as a kid. You go back and watch it as an adult. It looks bad. It's like cartoon mixed with, it's just terrible.


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[Assistant] I didn't see the remake with LeBron. I hear it's terrible.


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[Assistant] It is. Well, this is, look, I said that as if it was obvious. This is a controversial thing to say among people that like the movie. I just, I think it holds up horribly. It makes no sense. Bill Murray comes back at the end for some reason. If you were a kid though, it's like, wow.


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[Assistant] Do you think if you were cast in a boxing movie you could get in the shape?


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[Assistant] But if you were cast in a movie, they go, we're going to hook you up with personal trainers. We'll pay you all this money. You just got to devote the next eight months of your life to getting in the best shape possible. You wouldn't do it. I don't think you're cast in Creed four, you know, and he fights you in the ring. You don't think you could do it.


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[Assistant] That's what I don't think there's any time period where he wouldn't beat De Niro in a fight. Yeah. Yeah. For sure.


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[Assistant] Never saw it. It's a pretty good movie. It's a lot about the depression.


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[Assistant] Some of it is, it's so corny and on the nose and, and obviously...


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[Assistant] Somebody, uh, my buddy, Zach Townsend, a comic here, he said that the greatest litmus test for somebody's sense of humor is to ask them who the funniest person in them.


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[Assistant] I agree with you on that. I don't think he's funny at all. I'm not saying Bill Murray's not funny, I'm saying I did not laugh at him.


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[Assistant] Yeah. Okay. Now in the movie it's a little more dramatic because Dennis Quaid is so much older than that in the movie. In the movie you're like, this is a pretty old


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[Assistant] There's a Disney Channel original movie called The Alley Cat Strike.


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[Assistant] Okay. And it's a, they're competing for it's called the mighty apple. And at the very end, I mean, it's a great movie.


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[Assistant] Check that out. Disney Channel Original Movies, they cover just about every sport. There's a boxcar racing one. There's a surfing one, snowboarding. They cover it all, man. You guys missed out on that.


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[Assistant] Yeah, they're really getting hit. Everything's full speed. A lot of times you'll watch a movie like that and everything, they're kind of like going half speed. You can tell. Man, they're taking some real hits.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Motocross, essentially. Okay. That's a great one. Recommend you check it out. There's also a drag racing one too, the girl from seventh heaven. It's all good stuff. What about soccer movies?


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[Assistant] There's a Disney Channel original movie. Oh gosh. One of the Lawrence Brothers is called Going to the Mat. It's about a blind wrestler.


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[Assistant] Yeah. He did okay. He had a cane. He walked to the, he went to the mat.


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[Assistant] He pulled the plug, right? He euthanized her. Because she didn't want to live like that. Yeaah, she wanted to not be able to fight.


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[Assistant] But how funny is that? Eddie Robinson, LeVar Burton's in it. LeVar Burton plays Charles Tank Smith.


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[Assistant] He's the what? No, Rob Snider's just a crazy local fan. Oh yeaah yeaah yeaah. He's the, you can do it. He's the, you can do it.


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[Assistant] Goon was, Goon is very underrated. Yea, Goon was great. Don't you think a good sports movie has to have like a moment where you get chills? Yea.


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[Assistant] But you know the Chariots of Fire. Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun. I don't even know what that movie is. Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun. There's white dudes running on the beach.


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[Assistant] Any dates coming up here? In November 3rd and 4th, I'm in Albany, New York at the Albany Funny Bugs. Alright, I love that club. Yeah.


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[Assistant] Yeah, it's going to be a lot of fun. Yeah. Come to that. If you're in the Albany area or anywhere around there, fly to it. If you're in California, you've been looking for an excuse to come to Albany. I know you have. So come on out there. And then the next week I'm in Bridgeport, Connecticut.


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[Assistant] But the stress factory there, they've been, they've been very good to me. So if you're in Bridgeport, Connecticut, I'll be back there and be careful. Yeah, I will be. Yeah. All right. All right. That's it. Thank you. Thank you to everybody.


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[Assistant] Yeah, we love you. We're having a good time. We love you.


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[Assistant] I feel, I've said some mean things about Nate today. I'm sorry about that. It's all a joke.


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[Assistant] The four of us are still, it was just, it's just schedules haven't matched up. At some point the four of us will be back.


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[Assistant] And some of you might not want the four of us to be back, but at some point it will happen.


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[Assistant] When I was growing up a starter jacket was a cool cover for not having cool clothes every day.


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[Assistant] Like the starter jacket itself was cool, so you didn't have to have cool clothes, you just wear the starter jacket all day.


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[Assistant] Could have been. Yeah. You put a lot of stuff in this pocket.


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[Assistant] I had two. I had two. I was like, yeah. Miami Dolphins and Auburn, Auburn. I was like, it was a big time.


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[Assistant] Yeah. Yeah, you don't want to be doing that down in Montgomery. You don't want no fake Jordans in Montgomery.