[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I tried to get some at Cracker Barrel today and they were out. I don't know if you guys have enough.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Memphis is 97. It's not quite as big a deal as, like it happens a lot.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But it happens over water most of the time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Anywhere. Anywhere it's every 18 months. Anywhere it's every 18 months. There's a bible prophecy about it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'll have it on standby. 150. It's definitely getting dark. You guys heard about the Bailey's beads?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It should be, you shouldn't, it shouldn't be a big deal. It should be just a little speck. Yeah. Because it's so far, that's why it looks like they're even. Right? Yeah. Because the sun's so far away. It's so much bigger, but it's so much further away.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, I read this thing, uh, Columbus, so Christopher Columbus lands in, he lands in Jamaica. Okay, what are your deals?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My great grandfather, uh, no, so Columbus is in Jamaica, and correct me if I'm wrong here, Bates.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And he's stranded in Jamaica and the natives at first are real nice to him. And uh, they're, they're taking care of him and they're, they're feeding him and his troops, but they get sick of him. He's there for a long time and he knew there was going to be an eclipse. So.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, well I mean it is, if you knew so much about eclipses, how could you get stranded in Jamaica would be my question. That's true.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, he did, he also was kind of out of his mind. Now that I, I didn't think of this, he thought he was God for a while. Oh really? Yeaah, he had like a. And he wasn't? Koresh type, not that I'm aware of. Okay. Yeaah, he had like a Koresh thing going on, so maybe. I like that. Yeaah, he was tricking the natives. And that was a lunar eclipse. Oh it was?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm like you man, I would, right about now I'd be like, hey man. I would be calling my parents.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It looks more like a rock. It looks more like a rock than like perfect round.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It'll gradually get brighter. I think it's three o'clock is when Maine, three o'clock Eastern.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Two o'clock or around there is when Maine sees the last total in the country. And they're the last ones. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was a bad deal for me on that, that whole combining 2 people into one. Brighley in one of his big specials. I introduced him to his wife. I introduced Mike Brighley to his wife.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. Can you imagine the guy on the right for the first time? He's like, isn't this sitting in a big deal at all? Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] 2045. 44. 44. You're both right. There's one in 45 too.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Both full-time eclipses? Both total eclipses. Not like they work full-time. But I mean, you mean like the last one in this one? Yea. Seventeen in this one? Yea. Cause I read something that said the exact spot won't get a total eclipse but once every 375 years. But then I sorta read what you said. According to this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But the, the, did you read this, Bates? I don't want to take it from you. I don't know, tell me. Uh, the moon is getting an inch farther from the earth every year. Good, good. So at some point, there won't be any eclipses. It'll be too far. You're gonna get partial. It'll be behind it?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Man, you guys, so tomorrow's when it kicks in, the blindness? Yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I thought there was going to be big traffic and I was going to be late for the eclipse and all that kind of stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He did bite me, but it was, it was like in this period, like, like the, it was still going on, but not the total. It was a little closer to the total and I was just kind of walking back and the dog just, just, just walked up and bit me. Wow.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They kinda weren't all that, they were like, like, I can't, I don't remember what the dogs are.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There'd be a problem and you'd lose all, you'd lose your paper. I remember losing a paper one time. I had to do it over. Real stressful.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, hypermobile. But I'm, I'm with Nate on that one. I don't know why they call it hitchhikers though, cause they would not. They wouldn't. Well, I'm sure he would.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Kill me now. Oh, that's a pretty cool shape right now, you guy. Switch glasses.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Let me see. My brother can do a thing where you go like, he can walk into an arcade and they gotta miss Pac-Man, and he can take the joystick or whatever and go like, up, down, right, left, left, right, right, right, and it turns to regular Pac-Man.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh man, I did the, I did the thing on BET one time and they have, all those guys have, uh, DJs and they bring it up to stage. And I was terrified because I was like the only white guy on this thing and you, all those guys were like dancing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Have to see me dance, uh, uh, uh, with the DJ. And those DJs at the black shows, I may have talked about this on the podcast before. Those DJs take more abuse than anybody in show business. Those guys, they always...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, yeah. Oh, I got set up on that one. Man, I was doing a gig this weekend and it was a young guy, uh, and he asked me what song. How old's young?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, younger. He's probably in his twenties. He was younger than you. He was, I mean, you're looking at his outfit. He's pretty old. I, and he, and I go, cause I never, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I told him to play this Led Zeppelin song. And he's like, who's that? And I'm like, I shouldn't be in the clubs anymore. I don't know why.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm doing a high school, I'm doing my- DJ, play it again. My niece's high school graduation and I'm gonna eat it so hard. Oh yeaah. They just, they're all about it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] For the kids. At like two in the morning. And they're all making it. And then they told me that I was following a Michael Jackson, uh, Bruno Mars impersonator.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He should go last. I know, and I was like, and it's in the gym and they're all sitting on the gym floor. I'm gonna eat it so hard at this thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, I was there. It was in Kansas City. Me and my dad went two weeks ago. It was great.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That happened this weekend. He made the Olympic trial. He qualified for the trials. He's a sophomore in high school.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah man, it's, he beat like some real seasoned wrestlers. These kids, they're getting really good, really young. Cause there's these clubs, kind of private clubs that have Olympic level guys coaching them. So yeah, high school kids are, there's, it's insane how good they are. Wow.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I, uh, I mean some guys, uh, you can make some money wrestling internationally now. USA Wrestling pays some money if you win a gold medal or stuff like that. But a lot of, you know, guys go to the UFC actually. And then some guys do go to WWE, which isn't.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's not real, but uh, but they make some money. Sorry. Me and Ernie went. We did go.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] By the way, there's people in your crew that are laid out. They're like laying down.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think I've earned the right to say we after spending a lot of money on Cardinals games.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, we're pretty self-contained. Like, we're pretty, just like, just have those guys, you know when they say it's comedy and not music, it's like, oh, it's gonna be easy. So, but they do kinda get, yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's like when you go to the, like the, if you go to eat at Cracker Barrel at 3 in the afternoon, that's when they're like, ah, you know, it's not much going on. That's when you get bad service.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you go Sunday after church, you're crazy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's a rookie move for a comic. If you're like, hey, you wanna go to breakfast on Saturday morning or Sunday morning at 10? What are you thinking, man?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] First of all, I think you can get a hamburger. Let me see if they got one. Well then I might.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I went today, before this, I went to Cracker Barrel and I went to the Sonic to try to get these glasses. I don't know if you guys are going to have them. Sonic was too full and you can't go in because it's, you know, and then Cracker Barrel was out of them. But they definitely, when you pull up to Sonic and they have the menu up there or whatever,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They have some little branding that has something to do with Eclipse. They're all in on the Eclipse at Sonic.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I know it well, it's right in between Kansas City and St. Louis, right in mid-Missouri, a little bit north of Columbia.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This weekend, I'll be, uh, it's a home game, uh, the St. Charles Funny Bone. It's just a little bit, uh, away from St. Louis, uh, yeaah, the suburb of St. Louis. And then the following weekend, I'm, uh, where I went to college, Columbia, Missouri, at the Blue Note.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He puts it on his website. I'm gonna do a corporate gig in Phoenix, like two days before you're there. When are you going? Thursday night, I'll be... Eleventh? Yea, corporate gig on Thursday night.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sure, we often think of obsessions like sex, violence, gigantic robots, and of course, epic battles between good and evil. But another obsession of Hollywood is vampires.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You have to admit though, that there's a lot to love about vampires. Immortality, wealth, power, and superhuman abilities such as flight and strength.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes, they come with trade-offs such as incredibly bad sunburns, but every movie I've seen, and I've seen a lot, believe me, tends to show vampires that are fairly happy with their lot in life.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My exposure to the world of vampires happened in the late 90s when I was in college. A friend of mine recommended the Anne Rice novel, Interview with the Vampire. I devoured that and many of the sequels. They're fun reads, and they certainly set the tone for a decade or more of vampire-centered entertainment.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I won't touch on the vampires of the Twilight books, mostly because I haven't read them, but I will say this. Those books, however lambasted they have been by critics, have shown that popular culture's love of all things vampires is as undying as the creatures themselves.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Can most people think of vampires? They envision something that is a purely European creation.


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[Assistant] Foreign accent, Victorian-era dress, and dark manor homes and castles. It's a common visual language for most of the Western world, so I don't blame movies and books for portraying that image, but it's one small facet of a legend that has hundreds of expressions.


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[Assistant] The single most prominent historical figure attached to the modern notion of vampirism is, of course, Vlad III of Wallachia, otherwise known as Vlad the Impaler.


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[Assistant] Vlad was known as Vlad the Impaler because he preferred to execute his enemies by impaling them on stakes. The Ottomans called him Lord Impaler after entering his kingdom to find forests of impaled victims. Vlad was a violent guy, you see. Rather bloodthirsty, you might say.


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[Assistant] And he, like his father before him, belonged to something known as the Order of the Dragon, a group established to protect Christian Europe from the invading Ottoman Empire.


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[Assistant] Vlad's father, Vlad II, was known as Vlad Dracul, or Vlad the Dragon. When Vlad III rose to power, he took the hereditary title and was known as Vlad Dracula, the son of the dragon.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That name might sound very similar to the most famous vampire story in the world, and that's because Brom Stoker, when creating his famous creature of the night, used Vlad III as his inspiration. Well, part of it. But we'll get to more of that later.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The roots of most vampire stories, however, can be traced back to superstitions rooted in ancient cultures all across the world. Western Europe played host to countless stories of reanimated dead known as revenants. These were animated corpses that climbed out of the grave to torment the living.


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[Assistant] The word revenant comes from the Latin that means to come back.


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[Assistant] Come back to do what, you might ask? Well, I'm glad you did.


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[Assistant] At first, it was just to terrorize the living. But as the centuries passed, the legend became more specific.


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[Assistant] Revenants were said to return from the grave to torment their living relatives and neighbors. What was key though was that revenants were specific people, not anonymous zombies like the ones from our modern horror genre. These things had a past and a purpose.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In Norse mythology, we can find tales of a creature known as the Draugr, again walkers, who would return from the grave and wreak havoc on the living.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] These creatures possessed superhuman strength, smelled of decay, and were pretty ugly in appearance. They could enter the dreams of the living, and while doing that, they were said to leave a tangible object near the sleeping victim so that, upon waking, they would know their dreams were more real than they feared.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Let's go back earlier than the Middle Ages, though. The legends of some ancient cultures spoke of creatures that, while not immediately similar to the vampire we know today, nonetheless shared many core characteristics.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] First we have the Greek myth of Empusa, who was a daughter of Hecate. Empusa was said to lure young men at night and then feast on their blood before moving on to the main course, their flesh. Another Greek tale involves Lamia, the mistress of Zeus who becomes cursed by Zeus's wife Hera and doomed to hunt children, devouring them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Stories of undead creatures, or creatures that feed on the blood of the living, seem nearly as common as written language itself. Even on the small, isolated island of Madagascar, there are legends of a creature known as the Ramanga, which was known to attack nobles, drinking their blood, and eating their nail clippings.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'll let you make the final decision on that. But what is clear is that most of these stories find their genesis in the human need to explain the unexplainable.


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[Assistant] For instance, early Europeans used the myth as a way of explaining why a corpse wasn't decomposing at the normal, expected rate. You can see evidence of this in Bulgaria, where graves dating back over 800 years have been opened up, revealing iron rods forced through the chest of the skeletons.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And in a time when it was very common to bury someone that was thought to be dead, only to find out that they really weren't, you can imagine that stories would quickly circulate that the dead were coming back to life.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] As a result, taffophobia, the fear of being buried alive, swept Europe and the United States. Of course, once medical science caught up, people got more practical by building alert systems into graves. Just in case the person woke up and wanted out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I realize that being buried alive sounds like a rare occurrence, but it happened frequently enough that many people were sufficiently paranoid about it to actually spend time looking for a solution.


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[Assistant] Dr. Timothy Smith of New Haven, Vermont was another paranoid inventor. He created a grave that can be visited to this day if you happen to be passing by Evergreen Cemetery. It was a crypt, buried in the usual manner, but it had a cement tube positioned over the face of the body. A glass plate was affixed to the top of the tube at ground level.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Dr. Smith died a real, natural death and was buried in his fancy coffin with a view.


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[Assistant] Vampires no longer scare me. Waking up inside a small box buried six feet below the surface of the earth is what true fright looks like to me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Another culprit in humanity's use of the vampire label was porphyria, a rare blood disorder. But modern science has pretty much closed the case on that one, saying that it's too far of a stretch to connect the two topics.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Rabies, of all conditions, has also been used as an explanation for the rise of vampire mythology. Surprisingly, there are a lot of commonalities between them, such as sensitivity to light and garlic, as well as altered sleep patterns.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The most recent medical condition with a strong connection to vampire mythology was actually tuberculosis.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Those who suffered from TB had no vampire-like symptoms though, and that makes this one a harder connection to explain. It's also, incidentally, where one of my favorite New England legends comes into the picture. Allow me to introduce to you, Mercy Brown.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Lena Mercy Brown was a young woman who lived in the latter half of the 19th century in the rural town of Exeter, Rhode Island, and she was a major player in what is now known as the Great New England Vampire Panic.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Stories like hers can be found repeated all across Rhode Island, Massachusetts, New Hampshire, and Vermont, echoed in the lives of others in similar situations. And the results have surprising connections to both the modern idea of vampires, as well as the ancient stories, as we will see.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The first person to die was Mercy's mother, Mary Eliza. That was December of 1882, and she fell victim to what was then called consumption.


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[Assistant] Consumption, because as the tuberculosis ravaged the body, the person would appear to waste away, consumed, if you will, by the illness. She, of course, was buried, because that's what you do with a loved one who passes away.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The next year though, Mercy's sister Mary Olive died at the age of 20. Same illness, same symptoms. I'm not sure when the people of Exeter, Rhode Island started to wonder if the deaths were connected, but it might have been then or it might have been a few years later when Mercy's brother Edwin took ill.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Edwin, though, was smart. He packed up and moved across the country to Colorado Springs, which had a great reputation for the healing properties of its dry climate. When he returned from the resorts out west some years later, he was alive but not doing well. And in December of 1891, he took a turn for the worse.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That was also the month that Mercy herself became ill. Her tuberculosis moved fast though. They called it the galloping kind, and it moved through her body quickly. By January of 1892, she was dead, and the people of Exeter were more worried than ever. You see, they suspected something supernatural.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Now, this was surprising considering how close Exeter is to Newport. That's the seaside city known for the summer cottages of the wealthy. Folks like the Vanderbilts, the Asters, the Wideners, and the Wetmores.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was the pinnacle of educated society, yet just a handful of miles away, one small town that should have known better was about to do something very, very creepy.


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[Assistant] Edwin was still alive, you see, and someone got it in their mind that one of the women who died before him, either his mother or one of his sisters, was somehow draining him of his life from beyond the grave.


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[Assistant] They were so convinced of this you see, that they wanted to dig them all up. Yes, all of them.


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[Assistant] Once they received the father's permission to do this horrible thing, a group of men gathered in the cemetery on the morning of March 17th and began to dig up the bodies.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What they were looking for was any evidence of an unnatural state. Blood in the heart, blood around the mouth, or other similar signs. The first body, Mary Eliza, the mother, was satisfactorily decomposed though, so they ruled her out. And of course she was, you might say. She'd been dead and buried for a decade.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Mary Olive was also in a normal state of decomposition. Again, being dead 10 years usually helps convince people that you're really dead.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But when they examined Mercy's body, a body that had not been buried because she died in the middle of winter, but instead had been stored in a stone building that was essentially a walk-in freezer, they discovered a remarkable state of preservation. Shocking, I know. So what did they do?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] While these superstitious townfolk did what they had learned from their ancestors, they cut out Mercy's heart and liver, within which they found red clotted blood, burned them on a nearby stone, which, by the way, is still there, near her headstone in the cemetery, and then mixed the ashes with tonic. That tonic was given to Edwin to drink.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Edwin died less than two months later. What it did do, however, was set up Mercy Brown to be the first American vampire. I suppose it's not important to mention that she wasn't really a vampire because you're an intelligent person, but it doesn't hurt to say it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] As unusual as an event like this must sound, you might be surprised to learn that it happened quite frequently.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In 1817, nearly a century before Mercy Brown's exhumation, a Dartmouth College student named Frederick Ransom died of tuberculosis. His father, so worried that the young man would leave the grave and attack the family, had him dug up. Ransom's heart was cut out and burned on a blacksmith's forge.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The savage in man is never quite eradicated. I have just read of a family in Vermont who, several of its members having died of consumption, just burned the lungs, heart and liver of the last deceased in order to prevent any more from having it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So of course, word spread about what happened to Mercy Brown, as it usually did when a body was dug up and carved into pieces like that. Mercy's case actually made it into a newspaper called the New York World, and it made quite an impression on the people who read it. How do we know?


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[Assistant] Because a clipping of that article was found in the personal papers of a London stage manager after his death.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I hope you enjoyed your tour of the bizarre and tragic events that took place in Exeter, Rhode Island in 1892. Amazingly, it's not unique, and there are many other examples throughout the history of New England. And I have one in mind that I think you're going to love.


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[Assistant] Stick around after this brief sponsor break to hear all about it.


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[Assistant] When the Vermont Standard ran the headline on the front page of their little newspaper in the fall of 1890, it smacked of sensationalism. Vampirism in Vermont, it said.


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[Assistant] It's pretty hard to offer your readers a more scandalous, risky, and downright laughable news bulletin than that. The trouble was, the small town of Woodstock had indeed been dealing with a vampire problem. And they had been for years.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The earliest record comes from the unpublished memoirs of a local man named Daniel Ransom, found in the Woodstock Public Library. In it, Ransom described the events that happened in 1817, when he was just three years old.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] His older brother Frederick was 20 at the time and attended school at Dartmouth College just 20 miles away.


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[Assistant] Frederick had come home for the Christmas season, but took ill around that time with consumption, what we now call tuberculosis. The local doctor tried his best to help the young man fight the sickness, but Frederick failed to recover.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He died on the 14th of February after weeks of wasting away and was buried in Cushing Cemetery.


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[Assistant] Reflecting back on the events, Ransom commented on the popular belief at the time, that illness was somehow hereditary. In fact, he'd been told that consumption was so common in his family that he himself shouldn't expect to live past the age of 30.


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[Assistant] It wasn't a hopeless situation though, because they also believed in a cure.


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[Assistant] If the heart of a family member killed by the illness could be dug up and burned, no other relatives would suffer the same fate. So that's what they did.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm not sure if it was weeks or months later, but eventually the body of Frederick Ransom was exhumed by his father and the other locals. His heart was cut out and burned, and then the men reburied the body. Their hope was simple. No one else had to die now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Unfortunately, Daniel was the only one to escape the family curse. Between 1821 and 1832, each of his remaining siblings as well as his mother passed away as a result of tuberculosis. There's no record of what happened to his father.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Normally we have to jump to a new state and village to find another tale with similar events, but not this time.


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[Assistant] Because just 13 years later Woodstock played host to another vampire scare. This time, it was the Corwin family who suffered.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The oldest of the Corwin sons had passed away in December of 1829 and buried shortly after. By June of 1830, others in the family were sick as well. Most severely, the only remaining son was ill and it wasn't looking good for him. So the local doctor was called in.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] At that time, Dr. Joseph Gallup served the community there in Woodstock, but he was joined by others from the medical field who wanted to help. And all of them were united in their diagnosis. The Corwin Boy's illness was a result of vampirism.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Upon their recommendation, family, friends, and all the doctors gathered together in Cushing Cemetery in the middle of June to exhume the dead Corwin boy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was well attended by others from the community. In fact, we know that the events happened thanks to a woman who witnessed it all herself.


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[Assistant] Afterward the ashes were scooped up and placed in an iron pot. And then a deep hole was dug right there in the green.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The pot was placed at the bottom and the blood of a bull was sprinkled on it to ward off the curse.


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[Assistant] After that they filled in the hole and placed a large slab of granite over it. Apparently, you can't be too careful when it comes to vampires.


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[Assistant] Incidentally, some of the ash had been set aside before the pot was buried. Dr. Gallup took the ash and mixed it with more of the bull's blood before giving it to the sick Corwin boy as a cure. There's no record as to whether or not he survived.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's a legend in Woodstock that the story didn't end there. According to the stories told in town, about a decade after the ashes were buried in the green, some local teenagers decided to dig them back up again.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They met each other in the middle of the night with shovels, and began to dig down toward the buried pot. As their shovels got closer and closer to the bottom though, something began to happen.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A noise began to come from the hole, quiet at first but quickly growing louder. To them,


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[Assistant] It sounded like the roaring of a great fire, as if hell itself were down beneath those last few feet of dirt and stone.


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[Assistant] Without a word, the boys climbed out and quickly filled the hole back in. No one, they say, has touched the location since.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This episode of Lore was researched, written, and produced by me, Aaron Manke, with music by Chad Lawson. Lore is much more than just a podcast now. There's a book series available in bookstores and online and two seasons of the television show on Amazon Prime Video. Check them both out if you want more Lore in your life.


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[Assistant] I also make and executive produce a whole bunch of other podcasts, all of which I think you'd enjoy. My production company, Grim and Mild, specializes in shows that sit at the intersection of the dark and the historical. You can learn more about all of those shows and everything else going on over in one central place, grimandmild.com.


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[Assistant] And you can also follow the show on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram. Just search for Lore Podcast, all one word, and then click that follow button. When you do, say hi. I like it when people say hi. And as always, thanks for listening.


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[Assistant] He's not in the building when we're on stage, but he'll come in. Did you think about people falling asleep? I was driving this weekend. I read two comics with me, eight hour drive.


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[Assistant] 10 minutes in, they're both asleep the whole time. So I put on a podcast I've been wanting to listen to and Mandel who did the Nate land showcase, my buddy, uh, he's in the front seat. He's asleep. He wakes up. He goes, Oh, I've been wanting to listen to this new podcast. I go, all right. If it'll keep you up.


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[Assistant] Yeah, I'll put on a different podcast. So I've switched podcasts. He falls asleep immediately.


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[Assistant] But now I'm hooked on this new podcast. He wakes up later. He goes, I want to listen to some, and I go, you can't keep. Yeah. Yeah. I'm stuck on this one now. Okay. You know, this one has some car etiquette. Yeah. Stay awake.


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[Assistant] Nothing to look at. You gotta work to get to the pretty part. You gotta put in some miles first. Anyway. There we go.


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[Assistant] It's like if heels was using a bad alias. Like shields. You know what I'm saying? Does that make sense?


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[Assistant] They weren't yelling it out. They were respectful about it. They would say it afterwards. Uh, so I got a little more confidence in it now.


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[Assistant] Okay. You'll find that. If you want me to tell it, yell it out and I'll, you know, I'll finish it.


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[Assistant] So I had a comment with me this weekend, John DeToy, who you guys know.


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[Assistant] He's very funny. John Da Toy? You thought John would be a woman? John John Da. Oh, did I say, oh John Da?


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[Assistant] So he, he's a very funny comic came with me. He also does a little bit of yo-yo.


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[Assistant] So he does a little bit of a yo-yo in his act. That looks like me in the, with nunchuck.


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[Assistant] And he would talk about it, he would talk about it on stage and he would say, you know, I used to be a professional yo-yo player and it would get like tepid applause. But what John would say is he's, he was literally the number one yo-yoist.


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[Assistant] In the world. This is a former number one yoyo, competitive yoyo artist.


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[Assistant] In the world he retired and then last year he was i wanna get back in it.


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[Assistant] He trained for a little bit and now he's the defending number two yo-yo artist. I don't know what the word is.


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[Assistant] Anyway, it was just a fun little special treat. I was saying it on stage. I was like, even if I stink, you saw the number one yo-yo.


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[Assistant] And he put on a show. After the show, we were hanging out at the brewery. The owner of the club owns a brewery next door. So everyone always goes over there and they're like,


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[Assistant] Let's see some more yo-yo tricks, dude. He was just putting on, I mean, it's unbelievable. Let's get that plant joke.


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[Assistant] He's doing them with one on each hand and he's doing all kinds of stuff. There are a couple tricks where the string comes off the finger. It's completely gone from his hand.


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[Assistant] And then he'll like catch it and then put it back on somehow. It's amazing.


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[Assistant] He's, I don't know, you know, everybody has one as a kid. Yeah. You try it out once and you just keep going. You just kept going.


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[Assistant] He told me when he did, he did NACA for a while putting on these shows and he would do a trick during a show where he would put a quarter on somebody's ear and then like knock it off with a yo-yo. I can do that. You can do that? Yeah.


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[Assistant] Anyway, thank you to everybody who came out in Arkansas. It was a fun, fun weekend.


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[Assistant] At the end of a busy week being on the road, the last thing I want to do is spend time budgeting. All of my expenses are tracking down customer service teams to cancel old subscriptions. I use Rocket Money. It's a personal finance app that finds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions.


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[Assistant] Tap it, they cancel it for you. They have over 5 million users and have saved a total of 500 million in cancelled subscriptions, saving members up to $740 a year.


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[Assistant] When using all the apps features. Stop wasting money on things you don't use. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions by going to rocketmoney.com slash Nate. That is rocketmoney.com slash Nate.


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[Assistant] I don't like that guy though. I know what you're talking about. I wasn't thinking of the guy in the bathroom mirror. Yeah. Come closer. Yeah. I was doing some form of that.


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[Assistant] You sound very good. You sound normal. Yeah, that's what it's all about.


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[Assistant] But if I would've said standing on a corner in Winslow, Arizona.


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[Assistant] I'm not a roast kid, but it's like- I sincerely doubt you were genuinely overlooked. This is like, this was kind of thrown together. It was a mistake. It was a genuine oversight.


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[Assistant] She sent a message saying, do you guys want to roast John Chris? And Brian goes, oh, she just invited me.


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[Assistant] Oh, this was a, this is a famous, a famous Elvis in person. Oh yeah. Rory Allen. Let's look at some photos. Measly. He looks like kind of the young, young Elvis. Yeah.


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[Assistant] He's trying to be, well, this is, this is the age I think of when I think of Elvis.


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[Assistant] You know? They'll just do AI generated stuff.


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[Assistant] I have it morning and it's more about the morning. It just feels weird to drink a diet Pepsi on like an early flight. You'll get a diet Pepsi on a flight.


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[Assistant] When I opened for John Crist in Mississippi, we woke up late on the bus, we went to a Red Lobster at like noon.


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[Assistant] And John woke up late. He had to stop at McDonald's to get breakfast before he came to.


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[Assistant] Red lobster. Yeah. And eat cause he's like, I have to start with breakfast. I can't jump into the day with lunch food. I thought that was wild.


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[Assistant] I would bet in a neutral site, Dusty gets recognized more than Nate. Just because you have a distinctive look.


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[Assistant] What's the old Chris Rock joke? Like you're famous from 10 feet away. Dusty's famous from.


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[Assistant] Hanging out, waiting. Yeah. One summer job I had, I had to sweep all these cicada carcasses off the top of a building. It was so many dude. Yeah. Millions of them. Yeah. Just dead cicadas.


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[Assistant] This is too much for a collection. Too much.


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[Assistant] They wanted your head in front of the words. Yes. So they cut out your head and then they didn't align it with the, yeah, it's a little off.


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[Assistant] Remember Obama's book? It was funny in my head. I just didn't know it.


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[Assistant] I don't, uh, I would write a story, novel. I used to write novels when I was a kid.


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[Assistant] Did you tell us this? Did your mom keep them? Yea, my mom's kept a couple of them. She has them somewhere. I gotta find them. Can we read them? Bring them in. I'll bring them in. Is it in a book? Yea, it's in a binder. So we can read it?


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[Assistant] We also haven't used a space shuttle in like 20 years, so get some updated.


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[Assistant] No way more than that. It's like an unfathomably large number. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I gotta tell you, man.


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[Assistant] Some of these search engines stink. I gotta go back to Google real quick. I'll figure it out.


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[Assistant] No, the Brave, yeaah, is that DuckDuckGo that Brave uses automatically? Yeaah. Google just, Google's the GOAT. 9.2 quintillion possible outcome.


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[Assistant] Where do you wear it on this diagram right here? I think, Dusty, you're advocating for the one on the very left. Yea, the very left. I think that looks a little... I would advocate for...


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[Assistant] This diagram is saying that that would be perfectly acceptable.


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[Assistant] A lot of these diagrams also assume a perfectly flat stomach too. So there's a lot of other variables. Oh yeah, that's true.


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[Assistant] It might be, it might be fine for, for how we're using it on this podcast. It's like, it always disappoints me. It never gets what I want.


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[Assistant] There'll be a whole chapter on ties. When standing in your natural posture, the tip of the tie should end in the middle of the belt.


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[Assistant] Cause parts of the panhandle are like, man, that's a, that's about as Southern as it gets.


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[Assistant] Cocoa Beach, Florida. Oh yea. Gregory's Comedy Club. I've been there. Years ago. I was opening for somebody there and I drove all the way there. It's like a stupid drive. 13 hours or whatever.


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[Assistant] And I was driving back and I got in a wreck. It was my fault. I got in an accident on the interstate. I slammed into this minivan with a family in it.


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[Assistant] Now this is, I was driving a two seater Toyota Tacoma. The radio didn't work. The only way I could listen to stuff was I had to place stuff on my phone and I would put it in like my hoodie.


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[Assistant] Nah, for some reason I always felt it was wrong to wear headphones.


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[Assistant] Look, these are all great points in retrospect, but at the time, anyway, it was, it was like traffic had stopped quickly.


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[Assistant] And I slammed it in this minivan. We pulled off and the truck was messed up. So I was, I had to stay in Ocala, I think the name of it, right in the middle of this cows and oranges. They had to stay there for like three days.


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[Assistant] But I took a picture of my truck that was all smashed up and I sent it to some comic friends of mine and they used it to get out of work for a long months.


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[Assistant] Maybe years. Sativa, a friend, Brad Sativa, he texted it to his boss and was like, we got in a car accident. That picture helped a lot of people. Oh, really? Skip work. Yeah. The picture that smashed the truck.


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[Assistant] Thanks guys. I'm just saying I'm familiar with this area and I was stranded there at some random hotel for two or three days.


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[Assistant] My first real road gigs in that show and he lost his cool, just screamed at the audience. First time I've seen a guy have a meltdown.


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[Assistant] Something about that, it just brought it out of me. Just, he tapped out.


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[Assistant] Nothing is even interesting to you anymore. You get heckled and you're like, I've seen a thousand of you.


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[Assistant] Florida is such a great comedy state man, there's so many good clubs there.


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[Assistant] Yeah, I would have guessed Ohio. That's interesting. So New York, California, Texas.


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[Assistant] Aloe vera, yea, oh the guys will come slap, like it's funny.


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[Assistant] Yeah, zocdoc.com slash night. It's not easy. I've talked about getting hell's itch on here. No, I don't think so. This is a clean podcast.


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[Assistant] Well, that's just what it's called. I don't know another term for it. It's called hell's itch. And it happens after a sunburn. I've had this, I think three times in my life. And, uh, and I looked it up online and apparently this happens to people is you'll get burned and then the, uh,


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[Assistant] The chemical that causes an itch, a histamine, the histamines or whatever causes you to itch.


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[Assistant] You lose, I mean, it's like a scene out of a movie. I'm on the ground crying. My family, my family thinks I'm just crying because my, my skin hurts.


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[Assistant] But you just can't get to it, cause it's literally underneath the skin. So you just, you just want, you want people to just take like that.


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[Assistant] What I learned after, and I, and I did a bunch of research on it when I was going through it, I'm like at a computer, like crying, trying to read about this is you take, you take a Benadryl, you take an antihistamine and then you just go.


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[Assistant] And take a scalding hot shower and just put it on your back, which feels counterintuitive.


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[Assistant] Well, you just want to, yea, you want to just fry those nerve endings so that you don't itch.


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[Assistant] But it feels counterintuitive. You want something cold when it, when it's itching and the sunburn, but it's a hot shower, does it? And I don't wish that on anybody, dude. There's videos on YouTube of like,


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[Assistant] Yeah, that's the worst part of it is nobody understanding what you're going through. Yeah.


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[Assistant] I can't tell you the relief when I found that this is an actual thing that people have because my brothers and sisters were like, Aaron is overreacting a little bit to the sunburn.


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[Assistant] Yeah, a lot of videos. He's going to get a lot more now though. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, do a deep dive. That's an interesting read.


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[Assistant] Suicide itch. Yeah, I guess there's a lot of, they're all pretty aggressive, but they're all appropriate. She seems happy though.


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[Assistant] Well, she's made through, she's made it through. She came out the other side.


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[Assistant] And then I did it again, forgot to wear sunscreen. But now, now I think about it.


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[Assistant] Yeah. Hmm. I think there's, there's pretty good evidence that it's.


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[Assistant] They're great driving glasses, but I look like such an idiot just walking around the store with them.


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[Assistant] Even on my head, not wearing them. I just, I don't want to be, I don't want to be a guy that wears those. God, they're great sunglasses.


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[Assistant] Today he is remembered as one of the, oh, he's a hero. Okay. Okay. Sorry, Vince. I thought he was like.


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[Assistant] Just a little Vince Coleman history there for me. That's what we remember him for. Dropping a pop fly and getting injured.


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[Assistant] So you gotta think all around the shoreline, obviously it's zero. Right. Because it's sea level. The highest it gets is 345 feet anywhere in the state. That's crazy. That is crazy. That's like a little hill.


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[Assistant] Yeah, you go to Alaska's and it's crazy compared to Florida's just, yeah, a farmland or something. That's wild.


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[Assistant] Who, when you say Florida, what's the celebrity you think of right away? I think every other state. The Rock.


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[Assistant] Oh, years, yeaah. It really is. I would say I think, I know he's not from there, but I think, like if you say Florida to me, I think.


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[Assistant] Yeah, but see they, they messed it up with, uh, people said, you know, with Alabama now, even though they're not from there. Todd Barry. Oh yeah.


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[Assistant] Yeah. Was Miami vice a big show for you growing up? You watched that?


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[Assistant] Oh yeaah, Old Hogan. Yeaah, he's gotta be up there. Yeaah.


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[Assistant] Oh, okay. Was it like law and order, but it's just like drugs in Miami? Pretty much. Okay.


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[Assistant] Sweet home Alabama was playing like, where are these guys from Ireland, Scotland?


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[Assistant] And like you mentioned earlier, it's become a meme.


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[Assistant] Now, what was the show you did, Dusty, where you talked about Florida? You remember this?


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[Assistant] Disney, whatever, that's like the target. It's like Six Flags is like cheaper, low income.


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[Assistant] And then they became it again in early 2000s. Yep. For me as a kid, it was Miami. And then it just went away. And then like, yeah.


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[Assistant] Yeah, we can do a Florida part two. Yeah. At some point.


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[Assistant] Next week, this is Aaron Weber. Welcome to Aaron Land. Next week I'm in Las Vegas, Nevada at Wise Guys Comedy Club. And then April's going to be hot going to Grand Rapids, Dr. Grins, going to Omaha, Funny Bone, one of the best clubs in the country. And then Atlanta, the punchline at the end of April. So come out and see me.


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[Assistant] Today's episode of the Nate Lam podcast has brought you by the perfect gene and butcher box.


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[Assistant] Last week and we, it rained on us so that we ended up having, we stayed until I was able to get back.


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[Assistant] Yeah, it wasn't like, uh, I mean, it wasn't fun. It's like you get wet after hours. It's not like it's just a downpour. It just does not let up. Yeah.


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[Assistant] Uh, nah man, she's been kind of beat up on the road. I'm home this week. So that's what it is.


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[Assistant] But yeah, it was, uh, we had a good time and, uh, my niece and nephew came and they have not been. And so it was just fun. It was like, uh, you know, Disney is, is, uh, super fun. My nephew wants to ride everything.


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[Assistant] And, you know, you do realize, like, because we didn't go to Universal, he's been to Universal, he's just never been to Disney or the other stuff. There's just not a ton of, like, for, you know, someone that's into riding all crazy roller coasters.


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[Assistant] I mean, not crazy space mountain. Okay. This is magic kingdom. Yeah.


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[Assistant] But it's, I do, I used to, yea I do, I don't mind roller coasters, but, uh,


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[Assistant] Yeah, they did, well they did Epcock, they did, uh, went to Animal Kingdom, they have the Everest roller coaster, I mean they have, there's roller coasters in different things in the park, but it's, uh,


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[Assistant] It's still like the most fun, but I mean, yeah, you need to kind of.


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[Assistant] If you, once a kid gets a little bit older, you kind of need them to, like Disney is like, I think fun for younger. And then.


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[Assistant] No, it is. He loves it, but it's, he also wants to ride every scare. He wants everything to be scary. And there's, it's. He's trying to ride and he's not that into Donald


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[Assistant] We like space mountains, uh, scary cause it's inside. They have Tron. They have a new ride Tron. Like it's, I mean, we, we hit it all up, uh,


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[Assistant] But it was, uh, Tron, the Tron ride is unreal. And that one is wild.


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[Assistant] Are always like, cause it's the tish tish tic tish. Yeaah. That stuff gets like. But once you get going, it's very fun.


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[Assistant] Nothing you can do. But then you're like, I don't want to get out.


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[Assistant] I want to get out the whole time. No, I mean, I want to get out the whole time, but you're also like, you want your thing to pull it down and you're just. Well, that's true.


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[Assistant] Put in, that was a kind of a crit, that was crazy. Yeah, it was wild. Yeah.


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[Assistant] And you call that hangman, hangman. That's one word I think, the hangman. Hangman. So if you play hangman.


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[Assistant] Yeaah. That's like Nate-land. Some people just say Nate-land.


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[Assistant] And I'm like, well, it's not, I always think Nate land.


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[Assistant] And I'm looking at it as like two words, Nate-land.


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[Assistant] That doesn't feel right. But I mean the hangman, the hangman sounds like a family.


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[Assistant] Is it like, is that what it feels? Jason Day, the golfer, uh, had it where he had to stop playing. He couldn't even walk.


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[Assistant] I always, uh, I always think that too. I don't ever think I'm stressed, but then you, um, but then it's like, well I have to be stressed.


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[Assistant] Mine, mine, mine was going white. Mine's been going grey quick. Like, you know, the sides are...


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[Assistant] Uh, but I thought about caffeine too. Cause it's probably not good. Nothing's probably good. No. It really isn't.


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[Assistant] It almost feels like it doesn't work and your body's just like in a constant state of like.


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[Assistant] Yeah, but you know, you can like feel tired, but you can't go like, you can close your eyes and you can tell your body wants to go to sleep.


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[Assistant] Oh yeaah. But you're, you just can't. And I like, that has to be. Yeaah, cause you drink caffeine late at night, right? I mean I have, like if I eat, I don't drink coffee, but I would, yeaah, diet coke for dinner.


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[Assistant] Yeah. Yeah. You just go in there. Cause then you say you go in there, have everything on.


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[Assistant] Take a nap, watch TV. So you're not like forcing yourself to go to sleep. You're like, I'm gonna just watch some TV, relax. You look as more relaxing.


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[Assistant] Yeah, you're just, you're instead of, cause you're now going, right when you get in bed, you're like, we gotta go to sleep now. I know, I know you have a pocket, you have a lot of stuff going on today, you know.


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[Assistant] It used to be an event, but now it's like, yeah. I mean, now you have like Spirit Airlines and you have where it's, I mean, they're just fighting each other.


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[Assistant] It's, you gotta wrap your head around that.


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[Assistant] People are just not good workers and they're just a lot of not good workers. It really is. And you, and you don't think it can be.


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[Assistant] You think, like, uh, I was thinking about this this weekend.


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[Assistant] Like is it like professionalism is kind of going away. It's being professional.


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[Assistant] So no matter what you're doing, it's even your waiting tables. You just be a professional to that customer.


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[Assistant] And like that's all kind of going away where you can, you go in and you know, we try to get coffee at this place on the road and it was like, they closed at four, it's 345. So two people asked, they were going to have to make another pot.


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[Assistant] And it's like there, but you could just feel where we just go, we just read the room that they, I mean, they did not want to make this more coffee and they're having conversations out loud about, well, should we make it for them or do we not want to make like, you know, where you're like, this is uncomfortable. And it's like, well, your thing says you close at four.


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[Assistant] I know it's 345. We didn't really realize, you know, but it's not, not that you're trying to go into a place late and do this, but you're just like, kind of like, I don't think y'all, y'all could do this in a way that's not in front of us.


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[Assistant] Yeah, I get the frustration of it, but it is, and it makes, when I worked in, if they're about to close, I wouldn't go in because I don't want to feel the pressure of them on me. Right. And so I would do it like that, but it is true. If I owned a restaurant,


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[Assistant] I would be like, we're open till four, like let's, are you not going to be successful, you know.


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[Assistant] Yeah, but even if that's, even if they come in, that like, it's not on them. It's not on your, your, you have hours on the door.


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[Assistant] Yeah, it doesn't mean, you know, you could say our kitchens are like, we, you know, we close at five or a kitchen closes at three 30 or four 30, right? You know, do something like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Or then they, you just walk in the kitchen that actually closes at 4 30. Sorry. And then, or what, you know, if you're trying to do something.


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[Assistant] It is good. It's like those places should just go out of business and people just got to go. There's, there is a weird, like they, people don't want to work. People don't want, like there's professionalism is kind of dying and it's dying in a lot of ways. Uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's dying in, you know, I mean every, in, in just a lot of stuff. I think even entertainment and to, uh, yeah, food service and to.


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[Assistant] But we, even if we're, yeaah, we can do this, but you have to have the professionalism of what you're putting out. You know. I don't know.


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[Assistant] Do you remember the thing like where I was in Washington at where we had great shows. This is Paul Bunyan. I was in banger. Well, the whole weekend was DC.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Basically, DC, then Fairfax, Virginia, which is like 16 miles from downtown DC. George Mason University. Nice.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, and then Providence, Rhode Island, and then Bangor, Maine. Bangor, Maine. That's all they say. Bangor. That's what I think. That's what someone told me. Okay. But, but this is Paul Bunyan.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They gave me, uh, this sweatshirt and it was like, Paul Bunyan's a tough, you know, when you're like trying to fill out as like, you see from here.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And there, like there's an argument that he is, and then you're like, is he real?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm not good at recognizing. Al Gore. I've had Al Gore on a flight.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You'd recognize a country singer. Is he big? I'm pretty sure what I remember, I felt like he was like a big, he's like a kind of a big guy. He's bigger than your, than, you know, like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just like a large dude. Unless I don't remember that correctly.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Vince Vaughn. I heard Vince Vaughn on a flight. That's a big one. Also a big guy. Yeaah. Also a big guy. That was in Chicago. Chicago to LA. Uh, Jalen Rose.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Where you guys are flying, there's no one, no one's going. Where are you going?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think I'm gonna do the next one. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, I was thinking, I watched Elvis, just talking about the professionalism, I watched Elvis, uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They show like the one clip has seen Unchained Melody and he's, you know, he dies six weeks. It's a video of he dies six weeks after this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, and I was watching it and...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He was in, uh, he's doing the video and he's singing it and it's seeming look up the Elvis unchained melody.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was like, this is kind of when I started thinking about, like, this is what makes me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, it's, it's, it's gotta be like live. It's not, no, no, there's a video.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh my. So yeaah, like he's been, he does six weeks after this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But like, so he's, this is what made me kind of think about this stuff. And this is what it's about. Cause it's like the whole Elvis movie they're talking about, he's a, he loves his fans, right? He loves his fans and, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This dude, you know how bad this guy feels like at the point being he's, he's overweight by the way, like it's the alcohol, it's the.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This dude feels miserable on the inside of his body. And anyway, and the outside, I mean, tear it like he just can't feel great.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And he goes, but when he goes out there, it's about those fans and he's, it's about a show. And so I was watching it this weekend and, uh, I just couldn't, like, I was like, this is it. It made me, I was like, I want to.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Try, I want to start playing it, like, before we go on stage. Just to, just to remind, like, it doesn't matter what you feel in that moment. I mean, you know where this is at? Rapid City, South Dakota.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's in, that's what made me think of it. That's where that's at. That's not in LA. That's not in New York. That's in Rapid City, South Dakota.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How many people artists do you think could go phone it in in Rapid City, South Dakota? Cause what's the point? He's at a point, he doesn't need to go to Rapid City at this point in his career, but this dude is singing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I know. I agree with all this stuff. But it's like, it's the idea, I'm just saying it's the idea of like, that's what you do. When you go out there, that's what you do. There's a professional that's doing it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And that it goes in everything, in everything that you can do, not saying you're, if you're waiting tables, you're not thinking like, I want to be a professional waiter. You're doing it for that time being, but go be a professional for that. Right.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, and it's, uh, and, and I think that stuff shows out into this. I mean, it's insane. I was just watching it and it's just like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, you aren't right. I mean, they're not going to have, he's like, I will do the best with what you get. Uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think that guy holds that mic all the time. Really? I think so. I mean, you think it's just a one time and he's also wearing the same jacket as Elvis. He comes. I didn't know if he's another guy in the band.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I can't imagine you could, you could pull a band guy over.


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[Assistant] Yeah, I mean, it's, yeah, it's, he's, you could argue the most important person there at the moment.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I mean, it's, it's, it's just look at him and you do it, you hate where he was at and that stuff's sad, but it's something to be said about when he walked out there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's like, you know, in the, the whole movie, the Elvis movie is just saying he didn't, he loved the fans. He never wanted to.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like he was like, he wants to give them a show. He wants to give them, you know, unless I know stories I don't know, but.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] See, he never went out. It was never the audience's fault. It was the relationship between him and the audience was pure performance and pure respect and understanding that they are there and they deserve the highest I can give them at every point.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is every point gonna be the, I mean they're gonna, you know, but in general it's, no matter what, he's doing the best he can, he's doing, he's giving it everything.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's pretty, yeah. All right. That's where, that's what, so that's where it was. Cause you were in Rapid City.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yea, a lot of jeans are, and jeans are very comfy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, start with you guys comments, right? Uhm, Jacob Hoover.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, John Tierney. Tyre, no, no, Tierney probably is exactly right.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] 74, who learned of Nate Bargetson and his comedy about eight months ago.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Around Christmas, I learned of the concept of a podcast. In January, I found Nate Land and have been listening to many of your old podcasts.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I was being selective, listening to shows that Nate was hosting because I enjoy his comedy. Today, for the first time, I listened to a show where Nate was absent. It was hilarious, great show, podcast, what a concept.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes. I gotta see what's going on. Yeah. Video Pro. I audibly gasped when Aaron triple tapped the back of his phone.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I did it once. I found out about it. It was like a video show or something. Yeah. And then, uh, I did my flashlight and it's just a nightmare.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's just all, it's, there's no point. I mean, it's, it's just too many. It's not convenient to be like, like, you know, tapping the back of your phone. I don't think it's going to be.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Weird saying is we can like, you think it's, you know, cause a lot of people, we had, uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Great comics this week. We had Dustin Shapes and Johnny W, uh, but Derek Strupe was out this weekend. And he's, uh, was, uh, he's not been out with us before. I knew, I know Derek Strupe, but, uh, but I didn't know him well. Very, very funny.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, uh, but he was, he was saying like, we try, he made, he had his try root beer with the half and half.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, cause he's someone, he said when I was friends with him, you get, you get A&W root beer and put half and half in it. And it's like really good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It tastes great. It's like a trend on like a root beer float. Yeah, it makes it like root beer float. And so it started like a trend, but he said one of his buddies just told him.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And there's a little bit more of where they just go, you know, yeah, you know, uh, birds can't fly in the rain. And you're like, you just know that?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, if they said, I read it in a book, I think you would feel better. Cause you're, at least you had to go. Sure. We all know how hard that is.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But when you're just like, I was just mindlessly scrolling.


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[Assistant] Becky Brandt, when you make butter from churning cream, it ends up separating into two things, butter and buttermilk.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So that's why it's called buttermilk. It's the milk left over from making butter.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, that's what I used to drink. It's a yellow one. What is that?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I did it cause my buddy Ron, like, I mean, that's what we'd get. And I used to always buy sweet acidophilus milk. Is that the Roman yellow jug?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. And I don't even know what that means. Could have came up with a better name. That's for sure. It's like a dinosaur. It's dinosaur milk. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, but you got to probably type in milk, like sweet.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This could be, doesn't it look like all dinosaur names?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Streptococcus, Thermolipus, Lactobacillus.


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[Assistant] Asidophilus. Asidophilus. Binofetarium.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Last week we were. Chocolate milk only around because.


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[Assistant] Milk offers like there are milk, they're doing the wrong colored milk. There's enough to rely on it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I like the milk. I didn't like the paper getting wet. Like, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Maybe that's something that it's a single inventor because that's like something people are just like, you're a moron. And then he just kept pounding away. Right. And he was almost like, you couldn't even say it was someone else. Cause this guy was so annoying about chocolate milk. Cause the first people probably be like, I'm not eating, you know, your weird milk. You're putting what in what? Old Dr. Sloan. He just had to do a lot of milk back then, right? It was all milk.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] As a pharmacist, I've heard of people talk, taking some wild supplements, but I have to say, Dusty's Cow Gal Bladder Pills is a first.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hilarious that he kind of struggles to explain what they even are. I'm a big Dusty fan, so I'd love to team up and get his own life and supplements rolling.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Aaron complaining about people using clear and jumping ahead of him at the airport, but then raving about using an app to jump the line at the car rental place is hilarious. What's the difference, Aaron?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is great. You just go, cause then you got two options. I think it's for the, the, the people that travel a lot.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Versus the people that don't travel a lot. It doesn't matter how smooth of transition you have. If you've got families and people checking in, it's going to be a problem. And so if you're a traveler all the time, it's like, here's two more different options that I don't think it's slowing that line down.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, it doesn't do any, it doesn't do any good. It just cuts people in line. I know, but I'm saying it's kind of like if you want to look into it, if you want to go do it, if you want to spend the money and you fly a lot.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Here's a little convenient thing that you can go do that kinda speeds your process up. Right.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If they don't have to do it, you just go up and show your ID, then you just go. It's a very quick kind of thing. Think about if everybody had clear at the airport.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well then, no, then it wouldn't matter, but the thing is, is you're just trying to go, pre-checks become a problem. Cause pre-check. I don't think it's become a problem. I think it's great.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, no, but I mean, people know about it more. You know, Pre-Check for years was, I mean, it's, you know, hay bales are going through there. No one's in it. It was great.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But then you go start going, then I remember days where they, you'd be, you'd pay for the pre-check, then they'd be like, they'd just start sending people through pre-check.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then you're like furious because you're like, these people don't even have pre-check. And they're just trying to speed up all of it. But now pre-check, there's some lines where you can, some airports where pre-check can be, I've, I've gone


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Not pre-checked because it was quicker to go regular than pre-checked because pre-checked line was so long in Nashville.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, like the people that are flying and they're not, a lot of people are not going to do clear pre-check because they fly once a year.


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[Assistant] I think it's like, going into a show I guess is like, you don't have to go through the security because we've already done a security search on you. So you're approved. Like that's the point of it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just getting out of line at Walmart is like, well, this guy, the government knows about this guy. Let's let him check out quicker. I don't think that makes sense.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, people get, I know it gets, yeah, people can get mad, but it's just like, it's another option. And so I think if you fly a lot, it just, I never thought of it like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, Cameron Clark, I have a standing desk and treadmill that I usually do two miles a day on. I had already done it today, but after hearing Aaron almost walking a marathon, I had to get it back out. Thanks for the exercise motivation. That's what I'm talking about.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That'd be pretty good. I thought about having one of, or just standing one. Yeah, it's the best. Uh, Mary Ellen Goodman.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Aaron, there's a name for you sister has. It's called Misophonia.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My son has it, misophonia may cause a reaction to sounds such as dripping water, chewing, snapping gum, or repetitive noises such as pencil tapping.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, Melissa Ladden, I would like to know the order in which the band arrives to record this podcast. Here's my guess.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Maybe Aaron and Dusty arrived at the same time, I don't know. But I do think breakfast would arrive before Nate if it wasn't in his home. Maybe he does. Today I did.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I can be runnin'. Yeah, I had a drop. You know what I did? I ju- I had a-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do a phone call, kind of long phone call today. And I just got the car and drove.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, but I've had to do it a few times because I've had a few calls and I'll just like, I'll just call you like, it's just nice to, I just go take a big lap around wherever like, you know, and you just, cause it's like talking and driving is like easy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It feels better than just sitting here. You're out. You feel like you're doing something right. I'm going somewhere. Uh, Brian Fox.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] SNL regularly brings back successful sketches or characters.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] For example, there's been multiple David S. Pumpkins appearance by Tom Hanks. Given the success of Nate's episode and specifically the George Washington sketch, would Nate go back for a cameo in a future episode to reprise that role if asked? I could see Nate-style Washington being a hit as a recurring weekend update segment.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's, it's the setting. I don't know if it was me. It wasn't me being George Washington. What was funny. It was what George Washington was talking about.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] George Washington was more the other way. I think you could, but you could maybe do another sketch.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, unless you had another sketch about, that has nothing to do with George Washington, but it's about something ridiculous that people use and he could pop in and make, and he goes, I agree. Like, you know, or something, you can make a thing like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Nate mentioned keeping it clean, but certainly a less than Christian joke. Wait.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Nate mentioned keeping it clean, but certainly a quote less than Christian joke concept has come up at some point.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What is the possibility of him keeping a Dirty Joke notebook and then touring with it under a suit of them sort of like Garth Brooks did with Chris Gaines? Nate could just grow his hair out and we'd all be fooled by this breakout, foul-mouthed, cool guy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Speaking of that, uh, yeaah, I would never even have a, it's like, I couldn't even do it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm just doing what I'm doing. And so it's like my mentality is like too much. I'd have to really switch. Like you would have to, I'm just not going to be comfortable doing it. So I'm not going to be, once you're not committed, I'm never going to be able to do it. I really don't.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, uh, I mean, it's a very funny idea of like doing it. Uh, I got 10 minutes I'd like to do right now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I told Doug, I said to Jeff Foxworth on his radio show, I was like, yeah, I was like, just like once my parents die and we'll be just dirty after that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But it's no, I don't have any. Yeah. I, I just, it, it's gotta be what you want to do and what you can commit to it. So I wouldn't be able to, I would, I would have a hard time doing it. And I, yeah, you know, but yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I see it interesting to write, like I've, I've, you know, you write a standup act, like could you write, you know, like I, like now I think about what to write for the next hour. I'm starting to think of that, but it's like, I wouldn't think of it like that, but I don't know. I don't really have an answer for you because I don't know the direction to go in. Uh, John White.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We booked our tickets to see Nate at the Netflix Comedy Festival. When you have four headliners at a show like that, how long does each comedian normally go on for? I would love to see the full set of each of them, but I have a hard time imagining this will be a four hour show.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We also booked tickets to Dusty and Lee Ann Morgan, but unfortunately they're flying out the day before Aaron. Oh no.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, Aaron's show will be amazing. Thank you. The idea of all of y'all doing an hour


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it would be too much. I, my suggestion was or what I said is I think we're, I think we were probably need a host. So we'll get a host. Uh, and then we're going to go out and do, uh, pray 20 minutes, 25 minutes each. I bet. And, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then at the end of it all go out together and then probably have some, you know, let people try to pre-write some questions in or something. And then just, you know, kind of like at least have an idea of where that's going. So it is a good show and there is direction.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, Sebastian Maniscalco, Jim Gaffigan, me, Jerry Seinfeld.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] All doing it now. Yeah. Yeah, that would be, I mean going last on that would be brutal. Second, you could only go first or second.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then go on second. I mean, yeah, it's like, I don't know. You could, I wonder if you could be like, Hey, everybody go do 30, 35 minutes. And you're like, we're going to reset. Maybe you could do that. That's a long.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right at 30 minutes, you know, it's like in your head, like I would just put together 30 minutes. That's why it's like doing 20.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] 20, everybody's going to be between 20 and 30, I bet. And then it's, you know, 25 probably. And then, and then you go out together and-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I don't know what we're going to do. I suggested, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause the order is like, you know, you're like, I don't want to make Seinfeld go last, but you're just like, I don't know what to do. Like your Seinfeld.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, we, I, I don't, I feel like I'm going to have to spearhead it a little bit. I mean, everybody's going to be fine with whatever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I kind of figured it's kind of like a, I don't know, a years thing. That's how I always think comedy. I figured I'll go first and then it'll be probably Sebastian, Jim, Seinfeld. Cause I, I don't know who's, I think Jim's been doing it longer than Sebastian. So you just kind of do it by a years thing where you're just like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I hope y'all fight about it, because that would be fun.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I'll, I'll, I'm not telling look, I'll go whenever you just, I'll do whatever you want to do. That's, that's the only direction I can think of. So. What else about butcher bucks? Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Get incredible deals and premium cuts from Butcher Box. We love using Butcher Box. It is a high quality meat and seafood you can trust. It's very easy because it is delivered right to your door with free shipping. Uh, as I'm trying to lose some weight before I take this special in April.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, so I need my meal preps to keep me on track. ButcherBox is great because it's, they got the meat in there. It's, uh, I like that I'm always prepared with meat in the freezer. Uh, you know, I'm not home enough to run to the grocery store and I never have gone to the grocery store even when I am home. Uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So it's both of those things. This is two reasons I want it is way like I don't have time to go to the grocery store. Also, I don't ever go to the grocery store.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, but it's great to have that here. It makes it super easy. With ButcherBox, you don't have to worry about what is for dinner. ButcherBox is offering our listeners their choice of a weeknight meal essential. Three pounds of chicken thighs, two pounds of ground beef or one pound of premium


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Steak tips, steak tips are nice for free, for free. You get that in every order for a whole year.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Plus get $20 off your first order. Sign up today at butcherbox.com slash Nate and use code Nate.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Catch me if you can. Yeah, it seems like they're going to the right homes. They, you know, it's, they, they get an idea.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, as I'm getting at, like they know where they're going.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I mean, how do you, like, do you ever think that you feel relaxed as a squad or you just mentally, you just are, do not care. Probably on a lot of stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And like, you gotta go back and go, hi. I love my wallet. I had a lot of cash in it. I don't know if you remember me, but. I was one of the guys that... Do you remember when...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't, cause how do you bring that up? You don't go like, obviously, cause nor, you could probably knock on the door and go, obviously, my wallet's in there. He's gonna go, I don't know if you remember the time that me and five other, you were out of town for a little while. And I lived in this home for two to three months.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, the idea of it is yeaah, no one is pure center, but that's what they said. Solar flares. I don't even know what that means. Just a little extra sun gives a little extra boosh. Just flares up a little bit. My sun's flaring up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was wildly impressed. You were on O'Hickory, right? Yeaah, I got a video of, uh, I teed off and hit a golf ball.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was just looking at it. But it, but it's, it's the crickets in it. I mean, it's insane. Like it's just out of nowhere. You hear nothing, but I was just watching videos today.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, it got dark for a few seconds. Yeah, but you're talking about a, a non, like that's lunacy. There's no one that's like that, except the one video you saw. So, but on planet earth, there's four people that are crying.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But you watch those, that video goes viral cause the rest of the people are just wouldn't make a funny video. They would be like that. So no one's like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, but it's crazy just to be like, you hear nothing and then like that, it goes crickets. And then it's like, it's outside and then back to nothing. And it's like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, I mean, we were getting it so good in Nashville. I mean, I wish I could see if I have...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What happened there? Yeah, that's a lot. Uh, yeah, I mean, we...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, we, I mean, we had the kids out. We were everybody's other. It was like, it was a great day. Sure. We were playing golf. The kids were at a pool or a, uh, old hickory country club. Uh, and then we're, so I'm hitting.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then I was like, we stopped just the middle of the round cause it's like, you gotta, you can't see, it gets completely dark. But it's, I mean, I was blown away by it. I mean, it's just insane. Just the middle.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Of the day, it's just completely dark, sounds like it's dark and then it goes back to normal. Pretty wild.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They shouldn't move the time, just stop the game. That's the coolest thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. Yeah. They should just have the lights on and then during the eclipse, you keep playing, do it like Sam lot, put some fireworks up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How cool would that be? Like we're going to turn the lights on and when it goes dark, is it, if it's two minutes, like make sure have at least like a one at bat in complete dark in a game that played during a solar eclipse. You know, people would watch that game. That's true. They just do a mountain visit that takes


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't think even scientists, like he's, they say it and it's like, what does that mean? You'd be like, yeah, it's just what we're saying.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. So there's, there's planets out there that are just on their own or in their own plans.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. Here's what a person thinks about. Here's everything she's going through with, you know, what the moon coming in.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Someone wanted to sit and watch a movie?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, and like, just focus on one person.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, I would, yeah, I think even the name and everything, I just probably wouldn't, nothing would make me go watch this. And then why did you watch it?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I know, but I just, it's, yeah, it's just, I don't, I can't, I just can't, hard time rubbing my head around, putting a blanket between us and the sun is what this world's, what your life is meant to be.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's what they're going to do. Where different teams to just use an actual umbrella tethered to an asteroid. That's what one team suggested.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That was the, they, they were like, all right, we're going to go catch an asteroid. We're going to tie an umbrella to it. To catch it. Yeah. You got to catch it. Sneak up on it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Got a rope. It's you get bucks and goes wild. We're like, calm down, boy. Calm down. And then we tie a large blanket. More like a, more like a, yeah, like a sale.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. Okay. A cell in space and then we hope it never moves.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's what I mean, like how do you even get this far into having an article without someone in your science team going, like how's it, how are we gonna catch an asteroid?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They shouldn't, an article shouldn't say, well, at first one guy said, what about an umbrella? Well, we've landed.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I can't imagine that. That just doesn't seem like that's the thing to do.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think so far that again, like we just, those people will deal with it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, did you look at a kite in the sky?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Why don't you tie it to that? Oh, I'd love that. Get it out of the way. If it lifts it up, it's fine.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause of the gravity. Cause wow. But like, why can't we just go like, uh, uh, uh, and scoot over just a little bit more? Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Why don't they say something like that? Move slightly. Why don't they go everybody on the count of three, push to your left.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't think if I pitched that in that meeting, that's it. Cause I feel like the guy would make fun of us and I'd go, you said putting an umbrella on it. And then all of them would go, well, that makes more sense. I don't understand how that makes more sense because.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm saying like, you know, the Rockies get a spaceship.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Bunch of spaceships take off and they just kind of drag the, you know, just kind of pull it out a little bit, pull it out a little bit. We don't need much just accidentally. You're going to go probably the perfect amount.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Boy, I was in Florida, uh, a couple of weeks ago, we went out and paddle boarded, hey, the ocean, Fort Myers, that, I mean, the sun there was brutal. It's like, you could feel it. I got really sunburned. We, uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But in it's when that summer, it's the summer you can, you're like, I'm going to be in bad, bad show. Like, cause it's, it just, you could, it just feels like it felt closer. So maybe.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I thought about that, you know what I did? I sat under an umbrella.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Would I give him? Yeah, if you're riding with somebody, you know, if it's big enough for the two and then he would have one for his.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, ancestors for 1000 years. So then we were both carry the weight of extra umbrellas. Just to just so our ancestors in a thousand years, they can't find out that they're related to us.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, I, no, I, I think I appreciate it, but I mean, they were trying to stay alive. Right. Uh, I don't, I would never expect.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know if I maybe don't appreciate it, but I would never expect them to have been thinking of me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So like, it's one thing that, yeaah, there's a me that you're like, I think it's, I think it'd be crazy if that person's like, we gotta survive this for whatever. You gotta think of like in the moment to be like, you wanna, it's like everything, you're gonna leave.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Everything better than when you found it is the idea. And so you're going to just try to be like, we're just trying to do our best. We're trying to get through all this stuff. But I don't think I would never, you know, if they're like, I was thinking about you the whole time, you'd be like, well, what are you talking about? Like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just, you know, I don't matter. Oh, where's the line you care about?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I do. I mean, I think about like, yeah, the, the younger generation and the way stuff goes and you're like, yeah, it's tough. Uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I mean, it's like you do, you deal with what you're dealing with and you just deal with it in a moment and you hope you're moving forward and it's going forward. And then like, yeah, not saying you don't want to leave a legacy or something behind, but it's just a very broad.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think it should, you know, it's like I want my family and my friends and if you do comedy, I want people to have a good time. There's all this kind of stuff and nice spirit thing. I don't want to go put an umbrella for the sun and then think about people. Like that I don't, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like that's the thing is like when you're going to cover the whole earth, we're all on it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I know, but I mean, you're like, that's, that's gotta be like, uh, it's got, it ain't just like, hey, we're gonna go do this now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You can't just sporadically just out of nowhere go, we're going to do the umbrella thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We don't care when it gets to 65 in February. So. We're starting to get a little warm. Do you mind if y'all have seven more dark layers? I was paddle boarding the other day. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know if y'all been to Florida, but the sun feels like it's on top of us down there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then it doesn't cool, but then the sun starts coming back out and you're like, who's turning that oven back on?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You never know. That'll be interesting too.