[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And get $10 off of the promo code Nate plus a free lifetime warranty and free 30 day returns. This is, there's, that is an extra $10 off Black Friday deals at solostove.com promo code Nate.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This week we are thankful for Draft Kings, the official sports betting partner of the NFL.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Download the DraftKings Sportsbook app now. Use promo code NATELAND.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And win $100 in free bets if either team scores a point.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Get yourself some of the most comfortable and versatile clothing on the planet at VioriClothing.com slash Nate. Not only will you receive 20% off your first purchase, but enjoy free shipping on any US orders over $75. We will talk about more on that later.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Welcome everybody. It's been a crazy, it's been a great crazy busy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Busy time, uh, out, you know, on the road. People come to shows.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's been great, they're yelling out. This is my second All Spirits. We just did, uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, where that, that place they would have like a, they have a theater, like a smaller room and then they have a hockey rink and both of them had, I mean, full.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. And, uh, and it was, I mean, it was super cool. The crowds have been awesome. Uh, I got this in Saginaw, uh, from a sheriff. He gave me, uh, from Peoria. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm a sheriff now. I get to fill in for the days that he calls out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So yeaah, I mean, if I ever wanna... Pull somebody over with a bus? I can do it. And they go, come on, I'ma go, um, excuse me, sir.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah, and he goes, can I look at, if he asks me one question, what's your county? I go, it's all, oh Peoria County. I know that, you can't ask me that. That's hard to forget. That's hard, Peoria County. I've been a sheriff there for a long time. I'm old enough to be a sheriff. You know? Yeaah. Pretty excited about that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, care with me at all times, just in case. I would. I get in a gunfight.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So yeah, it was awesome. Uh, let's restart with some of you guys' comments. Uh, though, as always, thank you for, uh, sending them in. We love reading them. I love, you know, I'm getting to meet people too that, uh, have, uh, comments.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Then you get a, me and we met someone this weekend, uh, at it. Do we have the, uh, uh, uh, text Travis to get that video.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The coolest thing that I've ever seen. Yeah, text Travis to get that video and the word do it and we'll have it up at the end of this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Kristy Crawford, as if this podcast could not get more wholesome. Having breakfast, sharing that baby brunch is on the way. I like that. Baby brunch.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And the immediate support from the guys is what the world needs more of. Congrats, Brian and Ruth. Keep up the good work, everyone. Got a lot of tell people tell breakfast congrats. I had a lot of that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, but I know just it would be like if you just have a bust. I would love.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I just, but it's you specifically having to just get all your kids and it just would be, it'd be, I mean, everybody would watch that show.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You see all your kids are like, I got everything today, like right before they leave. Everybody pat, make sure you got everything. No, that'd be wonderful.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] R.Y. Givens. The way that Aaron and Nate both made the same movement at the same time in sheer glee.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And happiness for Brian was one of the most heartwarming and beautiful moments on this podcast. Congrats.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And this is a young child that doesn't know his own human strength yet.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Derrick Weiser, or Vizer. My best friend's dad was 50 when he was born.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. It gives it a baby? He goes, what's that? Who's, sir, where are you going? You're like, I was just bored.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's a movie right there. Come out, you're 50, miss all the beginnings.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He was a great and loving father and on the plus side his lack of control of his gas and other such old people shenanigans made for comedy gold. And he wasn't even a comedian.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Biff is going to be a great dad and makes a lot of his daughter's friends laugh. Congrats. I may have teared up a little when you gave the news.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Starts at 50, dude, you're almost done. I just started the first thing he comes out and he's like, my back is tight. And you're like, yeah, well, you're 50, man. That's what happens. He just didn't get a chance.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Born first, uh, they, they take a picture of his first stroke. He has a mealy. All this is a heart attack. It's just all the pictures of him in the hospital. All right. How do you, how do you think you?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We don't even answer the baits. Oh yeah, he died a couple of weeks ago. Anyway, uh, Brad McCurr, Mc, McMurdy. McMurdy. That's a fun name. That's a fun name. Bragg McMurdy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] At the end of the episode, I watched, that sounds like a name that you're like Brad Mick and you're like kind of excited for it. And he goes, Murdy. And you go, how's this?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Good as I hoped it was going to be. At the end of the episode, I watched after the sign-off as Nate walked to breakfast and I expected him to give him a hug or something after breakfast is big news. Instead he reached over and grabbed some Sour Patch Kids. Typical Nate, keep up the good work.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That was good. Uh, we've hugged. I don't think we did. Did we hug? I think we, not much.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, I think we, oh yeaah. I want you to watch, it'll take a second. Occasionally, when you got married.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When this baby's born. I mean, the fact that you guys are going to argue about it just proves it's not enough.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Leann Carr, I love that no one caught Nate's Napoleon and the Neapolitan.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, well, I think I meant Napoleon and then, then I made it Neapolitan. Like I made it as a joke of like, that was a joke off of Napoleon. I didn't catch it. I didn't catch it either. But I think I thought Napoleon was the ice cream.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay. I don't think I would, I was thinking, oh, Neapolitan, like those are close enough to me, Napoleon and Napoleon ice cream would have been the same thing. I gotcha.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I did think, and I don't like Napoleon ice cream. I don't like strawberry. I mean, I love it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't ever eat the strawberry in Napoleon. You eat all of it?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just like the real Napoleon. I never went full strawberry. Brandon Conrad.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, Laura was very happy. Laura brought that up to me at night. Like, you know, it was like 11 o'clock and she's like, you know, I don't...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Why, I was, why no one keeps their ketchup outside? You don't do that at the restaurant.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You don't put it in the fridge or you don't take it back. So Laura agrees with you? Laura agreed with me. Okay. That's why I got Laura on it. So good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You have discussed bread and ketchup, but have you discussed where you all stand on butter? I'm a fan. My husband comes from a family of people who leave their butter on the counter, but I come from refrigerated butter people.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He has somewhat converted me because room temperature butter is more spreadable, but I'm still refrigerated butter person at heart. I would keep it out. I like that she says that because, uh, I might start doing that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I liked it, because then when you go, it is the worst when it's like hard and you're like, well there's no point.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm very skeptical of that. She's on her own. She lives alone. I think it's safe to leave out. I think it's safe.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Y'all can come to me, Megan and Aaron's house if you want. Left out butter. I trust Justin.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's true. I try. And you come back with Justin knows about butter, Justin go ahead.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I like jelly, I don't like jam. What's the difference? There's a difference.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's not, but they don't sell soda and pop and like that's just what someone calls it. They sell jelly and jam will be next to each other.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Jelly is great. I'm not a big, a jam is thicker. I don't like jam. I like whatever they do to it to make it distant from the actual thing it is. You know?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, processed. I like, uh, I want you to go. I want mine to be processed.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is about the Seinfeld episode. Caitlin Blanchard. The Blanchard family.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I could never really get into the show, but this episode has convinced me to give it another try. Hey, that's good to hear.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Mark gets more and more red and sweaty as the app goes on from holding in all his no-no words. Seriously though, what an excellent episode. I love Mark and it's awesome to see him talk about something so personal to him with Nate. Yeaah, I mean, you know, Mark loves Seinfeld, obviously. Joe List loves Seinfeld. Sal Vacano loves Seinfeld. There's a bunch of us that can...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Talk about it a lot. But it was, yeaah. I'm glad that worked out. That was a, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Kind of a very, very last minute that we did not think we were going to get to do. And then we were able to kind of all get together. And so that's why I put it together. So that was, uh, yeaah. It was one of those that we were going to leave as a special episode. And then, uh, it was like, this is a pretty good episode.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Michael Rumsey, I'm 35 years old and I've known that Seinfeld existed for basically my whole life, yet I have most certainly watched less than one hour of the whole show ever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] For some reason, listening to you guys talk about it made me want to watch. So I started this afternoon and was hooked after the first scene in the diner. There you go. Converting people, you get some new fans.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Car- Carolee. Carolee. Carolee?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] C-A-R-A-L-E-E. Carolee. Carolee Crow.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. Uh, I'm currently in the middle of season seven, just can pass the point where George proposes to Susan. I was at the gym listening to the pod last week and y'all talked about Susan's character being killed off without even kind of a spoiler alert.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When I heard this, I immediately stopped what I was doing, left the gym, drove home and watched Seinfeld until I got to the episode where she died. Disappointed, but not surprised.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Gotta love Nathan Brown for spoiling a major plot point. That is true. I guess I did not think about people going back and watching it now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it's a comedy. It's, uh, so, but yeaah, it's very funny. Isaac the Salsa Shark. While I get, uh, while I get why some people, while I get why. You can't throw WH's like that, that close.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, I get why. While I get why, I think I helped him write this. While I get why, some people prefer season three and beyond. Season one and season two are the best seasons of the show.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Season three starts to go over the top and loses the realistic underpending that made season one and two much more genuine. Three and four are surprisingly steady and five or six are still quite enjoyable, but the show becomes a parody of itself.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. I mean, look, I like, I like jelly. So I think I'm fine with it becoming a parody of itself. Like that's just the guy I am. I could see someone that does like the beginning of it and you know, uh, it's like the people, like, like Metallica. Didn't they not like him once they became super famous?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've never heard that. I thought I heard like those people thought they, they sold out. Oh yeah. Because they write.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Who's like stuck true the whole time? Jay-Z?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, DMX would be like one that he stayed true to who he was. Tupac.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Steven Kelly. I once had a conversation with Jerry Seinfeld. He was at a Porsche show in Hershey, Pennsylvania around 1999. I was 11 years old, a big fan of Seinfeld, and his show had just ended. Jerry had entered the event as my father and I were leaving. I was just young enough to have the confidence or lack of self-awareness to yell out, hey Jerry. He turned and looked at me, not knowing what to say next. I just said, you're pretty funny. His response delivered in the classic Jerry tone and cadence was to shrug and say, me? No.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And he kept walking to this day, the best conversation of my life. That's great.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I found out, uh, I also got a message from, uh, uh, it was pretty exciting. Spike, uh, Ferenstein, is that how you say his name Ray? I think so. Yeah. Uh, Spike messaged me. He wrote Andrea Doria, uh, uh, which is very, very cool. I remember he, I always liked Spike.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, cause he, he had a talk show too. Like he was like, he, he got his own stuff. Uh, and he said he showed the clip that we posted. He said he showed it to Jerry. He was with Jerry and Jerry loved it. So we're close. Really? We're close. Yeah. Oh, that's awesome. So that was pretty fun.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, the one episode I'm not on. He does a podcast with you, Brian and, uh, Norman. Cause that's a great podcast. I would never change it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But, uh, no, we're just talking, you wouldn't be able to do it. Yeaah. A lot of people don't talk.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you go to a restaurant, you'd look around couples. Get in on that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. I just noticed y'all over here not, you haven't said a word. And I love that. That's what George Costanza about. Just walk over and shake their hands. I like to thank you, sir.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Ever wish your local bike shop had a near infinite inventory of all the components and accessories you will ever need? Lucky for you, CompetitiveCyclists.com is just a click away.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Competitive Cyclists is the online specialty real-tailer of road and mountain bikes, components, apparel, and accessories. Featuring cycling standout brands like POC, Castella, oh, how do you say it? Castell? Castelli? Ooh, like POC Castelli. Pearl Izumi in 510 and an unrivaled in-house bike assembly operation. They bring the personal attention of the best local bike shops along with the selection.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But the real difference at Competitive Cyclists are the gearheads. Equal parts customer service and cycling fanatics. Gearheads are former pro athletes, Olympians, and seasoned cyclists with years of experience, all available by phone, email, or chat for product recommendations and hard won advice.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Competitive cyclist has 100% guaranteed returns. This is a great thing if you want to get into bike ride.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is where you should go and should go do it. I always think I want to get into bike riding. I think I always see it and you're always like, man, I do like riding a bike.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, and I just don't do it now. I need to go do it because there's, I can do this. And you know, when I go, when you go, you're like, I don't know what I'm getting. So this makes it not be as overwhelming.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Go to competitivecyclists.com slash Nate and enter promo code Nate to get 15% off your first full price purchase plus free shipping on orders of $50 or more. Some exclusions apply. Go right now and get 15% off plus free shipping at competitive cyclists.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] dot com slash nate and enter promo code nate competitive cyclist dot com slash nate promo code nate some exclusions apply


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You cannot beat solo stove as well. Uh, as I said, we are excited. Fall has started. Uh, this is the time for a solo stove. Solo stove has been so much better than any fire pit. Uh, like I've always said.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You don't smell like the campfire, you don't have to go shower, you don't have to go wash your clothes right after.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's a big deal to me. That is the, I mean that is the main deal for me with starting a fire. I don't do it because of that reason.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I love a fire. I think everybody loves a fire. But you don't want to smell like smoke.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, it's great times, like I said, without the fires out, which is the main thing for me. I mean, so little smoke you wonder how there is so much fire.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This Thanksgiving, be thankful that you're with your family, you have food, uh, and you also have free bets.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That is right. Draft Kings Sportsbook, an official sports betting partner of the NFL, has a Turkey Day no-brainer you cannot miss.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The Titans are, uh, they play the Patriots game coming up on Sunday. So I'm going to get on DraftKings for that one. New customers can bet just $1 on any Thanksgiving NFL game and win $100 in free bets. If either team scores a point, that is, uh, tomorrow. So get your bet in now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sportsbook is not available in your state yet. You can still get in on the Thanksgiving info action. Make your first deposit and you can play.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Free for millions with DraftKings Daily Fantasy Football Contest.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] DriveKings is safe, secure, and reliable. You can deposit and withdraw cash whenever you want.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Bet just $1 on any Thanksgiving NFL game and win $100 in free bets if either team.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Scores a point. That is promo code NateLand. This Thanksgiving at DraftKings Sportsbook, an official sports betting partner of the NFL.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Must be 21 or older, New Jersey and uh, Indiana or Pennsylvania only. New customer's only restrictions apply. See DraftKings.com slash Sportsbook for details. If you got a gambling problem, if it's getting too crazy, call 1-800-GAMBLER. Finally, Viori.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah, I mean just, it's very very comfortable.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it's Vory. It's Vory. It makes you feel, you know, Laura's got it. She's been wearing it. It's just like, it does. It looks nice. It's like that athletic Giller.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it looks, that's what's great. I mean, that's what everybody's wearing athletic gear. And so you want to do it in a nice way. Viori is that. It's a new outlook on performance apparel. Perfect if you're a second-territory old, traditional old workout gear. Everything is designed to work out in, but like I said, it looks good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, Laura says she is the women's performance jogger.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Get yourself some of the most comfortable and versatile clothing on the planet at Vioricloathing.com slash Nate. That is Viori, V-U-O-R-I, clothing.com slash Nate. Not only will you receive 20% off your first purchase, but enjoy free shipping on any U.S. orders over $75 and free returns. Go to Vioricloathing.com slash Nate and discover the versatility of Viori clothing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, we've had, we were just got back, uh, if you're watching this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, Saginaw Spirits, uh, I have that, we were just in Saginaw, and then, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We were on the road. Yeah. Living it up. Uh, it was great. This weekend was awesome. You were in Peoria, I think. Yeah, we were in, uh, yeah. I mean, this last champagne, Milwaukee, Minneapolis, Rochester, Royal Oak, Saginaw, Peoria.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Another show at, uh, the Opry. Uh, shows coming up. LA, Los Angeles, December 3rd, 4th and 5th. I'm in Pittsburgh and Cleveland.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, and then that might be it till January. I mean, there's a big, a lot of dates announced. If you go to my website, if you want to buy stuff and we're adding shows and.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] These shows have been, I mean it's, it's unreal how many people are coming out to these shows. I mean truly, uh, like I always say, none of this is lost.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] These shows are for you guys, uh, and I wouldn't get to be where I'm at if it wasn't for you. And I never, you know, I, I'd never try to take that for granted. And, uh, I know I'm, the reason I get to be there is because y'all are, are listening to this and y'all come to these shows and, uh, y'all decide if I get to do those shows. So thank you for coming out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, uh, I think it's like, she said Sugartree, Dixon, Nashville. And they, uh. Very nice people. Cheetah County.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, so they, uh, yeaah, they were cool, but yeaah, people have been trying to, me and Justin went through, uh, Friday the 13th. Oh yeaah. What an adventure. Yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, I've just realized, like, when your parents don't let you watch movies, it's not a bad thing. Cause then you get to watch these movies later. Like, I'm going through, like, die hard. I'm going through all these movies that I never would have been allowed to watch.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So good. What's so funny about the Jason movies is like, should we say spoiler alert in case anybody's jogging on a treadmill right now? Yeah. I don't, you know, the first ones, it just starts out and then you get to.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We, we got really hung up on, he goes to Manhattan and we're like, well, how does he get to main hat? So we had to watch a bunch to go like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How does he go to Manhattan? You know, and he gets to Manhattan.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, it's on a boat. I don't, look, I can save you. You can watch them. It's, it's, they're, it's, they're rough.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so like every, and then he always just comes back alive, like he's undead. And so like they always show how he comes back alive. And then they, uh, they do, and look, Jason's, if you watch his horror movies, I'm not, nothing gets, I like Friday the 13th. I think the beginning ones are better. And then it gets kind of wild.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When we watch like the Manhattan one is just, you're like, how does he, he's always in this crystal lake. Hey, we always, the crystal lake, how is this even open?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, how is not this major news that this guy keeps coming back to life?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And every year kills 30 to 40 people.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And how they just have not blocked off this area to go, guys, you can't come and he's doing it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] These kids come and they're like, oh, we're going to do it. And it's like, it's, it was a year ago. This just happened. It's not like they're like, oh, it's 50 years, a year ago. I'm, I mean, so many people die.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Real bad, not good. And the Rock of Fence is a conspiracy theory. Yeaah, that's an old one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My first joke was about Jason. Yeah, I posted it, I think recently. Uh, but then it was like, it's just very funny that A, that is happening. And then, so then when you're like, he goes to Manhattan, you're like, well, how does he get there? And so that makes you go just to go, I don't, I want to see. He's in Crystal Lake, upstate New York and gets to man, like Jason, by the way, is


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So he's kinda got the brain of a child. Yeah. But he knows, uh, a lot about electrical work.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He can take the lights off of anything, boat, house. He just knows where phone cords are. Like he, I don't think he could use a phone, but he knows how to make you not use a phone.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And yeaah, yes, yes, it's like you went to trade school. Uh, weapon, weaponry, I mean, any weapon, he knows, I mean, crossbow, whatever, he, he can get anything and use it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And precise. And precise with it. But just not good, uh, but can be tricked in other ways. If you just say you're his mom in a voice.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He doesn't know whats happening.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then, so we're at the scene, how does he go to Manhattan? He goes to Manhattan. He gets on a boat, takes the boat. Crystal Lake, apparently.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Ken, you can get from Crystal Lake to New York City in a boat. On a boat. On a boat.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's not just a boat, a luxury cruise. He goes somewhere and then jumps off his boat. He just, his boat sells into the.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just a dock and no one, no one even talks about that. So just the fact that his boat, he just dives off in the water and that boat sells into a dock.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then he climbs on the boat next to it, which is a cruise. No one even stops this cruise from going out being like, hey, we've had a pretty bad accident with this other boat that we, that, uh, no driver.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How did this boat come from? It's kids and they go, doesn't matter, doesn't get talked about. They get on the boat. He then, you know, kind of gets everybody on the boat.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And he's, uh, just walking. I mean, he's at Times Square at one point. And I, you actually believe he's on a subway and no one's stopping it. And I actually believe that. Yeah. That's the most believable thing. Yeah. Cause Manhattan's so crazy that you're like, I think anybody, like New York, they don't just, they don't stop stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And when he goes to Manhattan, that's the very end of the movie. So if you want to see it, it's.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Honestly, just kinda fat, you could just kinda skim through these.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So that was the one that really got us. We go, well, how does he get to space? New York has a new problem. Yea, Jason takes Manhattan. Uh, barely in Manhattan, to be honest. And really only going after a couple people. Right.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Everybody handles their close ones being killed very well as well in all these movies. Like it's people they're getting, you know, that's part of their families, they get killed and they just kind of move on and, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But then he goes to space and you're like, so we're like, how does he get to space? That's a real one. That's a real one. After this is Jason X Jason goes to space.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I'll be honest here, the most plausible one I've seen, I actually make sense of him getting to space. It's the only one that you're like, I can see it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I would think when they wrote it they'd go, hey man, don't go that far.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's too far. And he goes, no, no, we gotta go to 24. They go, that's 2000.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] 40. Let's do that. Like just, you know, this was written, this was made in 1990. When was it made? 2001. Oh, 2001. So you like go to 2050 or something like that. Uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it's like just, or something, like 2100.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're going, he goes, no, no, 24, 55. You're like, I just, that's so far away. We don't even have, we can't even make it look like it's 24, 55.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But him getting the space completely made sense to me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It does not, it's never gone good for every, every year this guy gets brought back to life.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh yeaah. Yeaah, they brought back, so they re-bring back two people from that, uh, Jason person. So, I mean, Jason, it's, it's, it's, so the movie starts, it's supposed to be like 2008. It kind of gets wacky. The next one after this is Freddie versus Jason, and it actually goes back. Oh, we're, we're,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, Jason, it's just, it is very funny to think with just any, like I would like to, you're just a part of it and you go like, guys, we're not gonna, like he's at one point he's in a, he's chained up and they got him at the beginning of it and they're like, you know, they got him, he can't get out and they're like, we need to,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The FBI's involved, you're like, finally, after 40 years, the FBI's like, I guess we're go investigate this guy that keeps coming alive every other year and just wiping out 50 people. I mean, they just leave sheriffs in charge.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And no one ever just goes, and every time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're like, Jason's alive and they go, that's a wise tale. You're like, I mean, it was, did we have newspapers in the, this is not the 1800s. This is 1980 when this is happening.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Apparently Crystal Lake's the only, that's the only place he's at. Just don't go to that. Or Manhattan.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You can, well, because they bring them to Manhattan. Don't give them a, don't dock a boat in a lake that I thought was closed.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] 30, 40, I mean, on his, yea, if Jason's on it. And the one guy, he goes, I mean, Jason's on this boat, which I do, the main guy's like, doesn't believe it. I understand that. Cause you're like, why would he be on a boat?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And no one's ever surprised that lights go out in any Jason movie. Electricity goes out, they go, golly, again. And like, they never, they never just question it. You know what I get, look, that's the idea for me. I don't try to take it seriously. It's just, if you do watch it, uh, just have fun. When you watch it, cause that's


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think your high brow listeners got it, but I think us regular folk, uh, maybe a breeze passes. But if you open it over, yeah, that's funny. Cause all the, nothing works.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So that's what we did. Also, uh, I was on CBS this morning, which is very cool. A lot of cool responses from that. Uh, yeah, it was, uh, uh, very nice. Gale King seems to be a fan. Yeah. One step away from, we got Gale, then Oprah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, yeaah, it was very cool. It was very, very nice. Yeaah. It was very cool. It's cool that my dad got to have him on it. Uh, Aaron, you're 30 now. Yeaah. So I texted Aaron, happy birthday. He gave me a thumbs up back.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Does that seem weird? Kinda busy, huh? I texted him happy birthday, he didn't even text me back. I think I'd rather not have text back.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think I'm more fine with no response. Cause I'd be like, Oh yeah, I bet you got a ton. Then a thumbs up. Like I'm your uncle.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't think so. Cause I haven't looked again. Okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. Gonna be a dad and having a heart attack as is a stroke or heart attack?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you're standing on the last row, you're closer to him than at any point of that stadium. Your third row.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, so they can go to a movie? Sure. Yeah. I don't think they would.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, that's a moment. It happened. Yeah. I always think that's a funny, you should do that as a joke.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You think so? I think it's funny. Have you never had that? Like when you're little, the rapture.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You would have it like, as a kid, you'd just always like, hello? Hello? Did the rapture, you'd just think the rapture happened and then, uh, and then your mom comes around and you're like, oh, hey. Yeah, I would hear it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. I, I think about that all, like, I mean. I think a lot of people thought about it. If you grew up in church.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're the, you're the Tupac of Christianity. That's right. Yeah. We're the biggies. We're the real deal and you're a Tupac.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cricket. If you get it all set up. You can do wifi calling. I'll get like facetimes if I want wifi. I feel like Aaron's getting side cricket


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They, uh, yea, Cricut, I remember having my first, I had the phone that was just like the black phone that, you know, that was not a flip phone, it was just a straight phone. No, it wasn't a flip one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's where they get you, cause iPhone, like they have some other, like iPhone just makes the same phone.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He flipped it. He would have had, yeaah, yeaah, something like that. This week, uh, you know, I did want to talk about too, I almost thought we could talk about comedy. I know people talk about it a lot, but I, uh, it was like this weekend, I was like, I love comedy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, it's like fun to like, you know, it's like, I don't know. It's like, I feel like you're.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, like if you do it a long time, it's just crazy, dude. It's so crazy how like when you first start, you know nothing. And then.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You hit 10 years and you think, alright, I know something and you're like, you don't, you don't know anything. You know enough, you do a good show. And now I'm at 18.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] 2003, right? I'm almost at 19 years. And, uh, and not that I still, I won't know everything, uh, but you just start knowing like, oh, uh, like you just get it more and it just takes time. There's no, there's no tricks.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It takes a very very long time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well we talked about, I think you start becoming funny, so you, something, you can say stuff funny.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't, I can't even, I don't know why, I don't know if I can really describe it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So you can say something funny, so now I'm just looking for situations.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I rely that I know I can make this funny. So now you're not, I'm not trying to write a joke, I'm just looking for something to happen and then I can make.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I remember saying once, he goes, he goes, you don't know anything about Kanye until 20 years. I remember just thinking like, that's so like, A, it was like so out of reach that you're like, so no one knows it until 20 years. But I mean, I, I, I, as you get closer, I get, I get more of what he means.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I don't, I wouldn't say it as abruptly as that, as that no one knows it 20 years, but I would say it takes a long time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] To get, you just, it's a good change. You change.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And you just get, it's like anything. Everybody needs experience. And if you want to be good at a craft, you, it takes 20 years, man.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like that's just what it's gonna take. And you're gonna die. You will have moments of like, you know, I'm not like I'm embarrassed of my old specials or anything like that. On Comedy Central, I'm not. Those were the comic that I was then. But then as you get older now,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's just a different kind of thing and you just do it, you know, and you're just always growing. It's, it's, it's wild. Like when we were talking, cause it's good to talk. Cause it's like, I'm reminded.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then I learned stuff that like, I'm like, oh yeah, like you just know this stuff more. I know how to like, you know, it's like telling jokes or telling stories and.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know, I just, this weekend I was like, I love it so much.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So that's what we were talking about, where it's like anything that, like any jokes that I have in this new hour, there's a couple that I've already pulled out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But there's been a couple jokes that I'm like, ehm, I'm just kind of not doing because I'm like, it feels, I just don't feel like I can ever really get behind it because I don't, I'm like, even though it's a funny situation.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But then it's, and the joke works, but then you're like, I don't know, it just feels mean or something. Like I'm, and then I'll end up, I just pulled, I just end up not doing it. And I, but I try to put myself in everything. You put yourself in anything, you can make fun of anything and anybody cause you're making fun of you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I talk about being dumb a lot, or like, you know, cause it's like it is, it's about me not knowing the situation.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I can't be the one that's always like, you're not doing it the way, I mean even though I say...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's, but even me telling you that you gave me a thumbs up in the text is like, that's us. Right. And that's being like, I don't think you should have done that or something. I don't know. I don't know if that makes sense.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That makes sense. But it's like, but it's, it's close. I totally get it. It's me and you talking. I would never say that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I would never do a joke where this guy I don't know did that and just trashed that guy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I can say it to you. Cause it's like you're talking to me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, like he had a joke, I won't give the joke away, but it was a joke where he's had something that happened and he was, and he just made it like, you know, if it was like, uh, this happened at Arby's and he was saying it happened at McDonald's.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Tend to like make stuff not be the actual thing. Like make it the thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Tell exactly what it is. It's easier to write that way. You're telling it. It's the truth. People are going to relate to it more because they go, I know that place. If I had a star, but if I said that Starbucks order.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Which I had to do on once because I couldn't say Starbucks on tonight's show and it didn't work because I said I went to, I don't know if I said sorry, but I was like, uh, you know, one was like the pet boys joke I did somewhere and I couldn't say pet boys. I said, I go to this mechanic shop.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it's like, the joke kind of works, but like, it doesn't work like when I say Pep Boys, because you know Pep Boys and you're now in that store in your head. So anything that happens, you're picturing me in that store. And that's what makes it work. So you got to name the actual place. Cause then someone goes, I know that. Oh yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, cause everybody doesn't know where, but when it's a true thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Then they can put their self in it. Specificity is important. Oh, it's the most. It's the most. Cause you can, you know, like if you ever make up stuff, you make it up in what you think.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You thinking when that woman was going to do the elevator, that's you making that up. So you thinking all that stuff. Now those are thoughts that people have, but if you did that as a joke, it would be like, you can make up whatever you want.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because that's, in your head, you think what she thinks. You're not throwing it on her, it's you imagining. That's right.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, that really happened, but the stuff that you put in, but then I go back and say, what if, you know, and then, then I, that whole last run is I'm giving thoughts to everybody out there, which are, that's the funniest, that's the funny thoughts I can get. That's right. So that's the joke. That's the being funny.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's the, you know, the setup is literally what happened.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then, you know, and like another one that we talked about, like my McDonald's joke with Louis.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, where I take a bite of the burger and it doesn't do it. Like that joke is so Dan, as I've said before, Dan Soder was there. It was me, Dan Soder, and Lewis. I told Dan to take a bite of Lewis's burger. He did. And then we wrapped it back up. And then Lewis came back. And all that stuff happened. And...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, when I first told that story, we were all telling it and then it was like, I've, it was almost like we could race to see you could tell the story. Uh, but we, you know, we could never get it. Finally, I got it. But then I took Dan, I would say Dan at the beginning, but then he had to go out just cause he was like, you got to look at some stuff. You're like, it doesn't really matter that Dan's there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, you know, it's like that gets a little too confusing when you're trying to, so sometimes you just do that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Does it matter if he, if Dan, if the story mattered, Dan, I would have kept Danny in.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But the fact that it didn't matter and it was me and Dan both playing this on him, you go, all right, I'm going to just take Dan out. Cause I, I, it's just too complicated right there. And then I go, this has happened, blah, blah. I do Lewis's reaction and then you do, what do you think? You know, then you get to do that part of it and that's the fun part.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's the part that you get a, you can do whatever. You can be as crazy as you want. Yeah. You know? Yeah. I just loved it. This weekend was just so good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it's, I always say that when I give, I've had a lot of jokes where someone else did and I don't think they stole them. Uh, some I had them out before, some I didn't. And, uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's just like a lot of, a lot of jokes. The jokes film is not as much as everybody. I believe it's not as much as everybody thinks it is. It's a lot more parallel thinking like, yeah dude, we're all writing about the same kind of thing. But I always looked at it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, as a, uh, I didn't, that joke wasn't original enough. That's what I always looked at it. So if I did it and someone else did it, uh, I either hoped I did it before or I...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, just so I could be like, you know, you feel better about it. But then I also looked at it as like, alright, well that was too much of a joke.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And that was too not, that wasn't original enough. And I wasn't original enough. That's something Marin told me. Like, you know, just write about yourself and talk about it. No one can steal that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No one can steal anything from yourself. Again, I'm not trying to say stealing happens all the time, but no one's going to write a joke similar to yours.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because you can't. And then you can talk about literally everything.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because then you're not even, even if you are somewhat talking on a topic that's like maybe a topic that's been talked about, it's you going through it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then no one's like, he's still, you're like, no dude, he's just doing his show. Like it's, that happened to him. He's just telling us it happened. He's not relying on that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, I, in this new hour, like, I talk about like twelve and under eating free. I'm not gonna give away the joke.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And like my parents had no money when we grew up and so we always had to go eat where kids eat free.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's been done a million times, but like that's in the setup to this other thing. Like, but I do a little quick joke about that, but like it's, I don't even feel like I'm like, you know, cause when you, when I was younger, the whole joke would have just been 1200 free. That would have been the whole joke. Now that's a setup to get into the joke. And that's like what changes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And if you're a young comic, listen to this. I mean, you just have to like, and I don't want to like, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just keep getting better and just take the wins.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You will get better. And after you get one year, you're going to always look back after a year and you get three years, you're going to go like, dude, I was awful at one year. I was terrible. That's a win. You want to be terrible then.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then, you know, not saying everybody's going to think you were terrible, but you, you personally.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so you always got to go like, oh yeah. And then, and then the next year you're like, I didn't know what I was doing in year three. And now I'm at five years and I'm like, I'm like, I wasn't even a real comic then. And like those are, that's how you know you're winning and you're moving forward.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so if you don't think you're, if you can't look back and think that you were better now than you were then, you're stuck.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And you feel, if you ever feel stuck that means you're trying to grow out of it. That's why you get stuck.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like you have your act where you can have like old stuff and the new stuff and they feel different and the audience won't laugh as hard at the old stuff that they do the new stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And even though the old stuff could be better than the new stuff or you think it's better, it's just, you're not telling it the way that you told it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You just realize, oh, like I'm gotten a lot better.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's why this stuff gets more personal. That's when you can always tell, like, when people come up and mention, like, the Krispy Kreme thing that you talk about, because that was a real thing. And so that, last night, the guy that came up, Steve Inslee, my dad's friend, he goes, but Krispy, they always mention your joke.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They will mention a joke if you do something relatable. That's when the audience comes up and goes, that joke.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But if you make it up, they don't need, they don't remember it. It doesn't stick with them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But if you put them in the position of saying the thing, the Krispy Kreme, and that experience that you had with it,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They then come up and go like Krispy Kreme, like, you know, cause they know that feeling. You're trying to make them...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, it's, it's, it's not really about giving you like tags. So people like ask that. We have talked about this with the comedy episode.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Tags? Yeah, I don't know. So, like, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] People give you tags a lot. That's what comics call. Like, so if you give me a tag on a joke or I, you know, it's like, hey, what have you said this at the end of that joke? And then, uh, you go, oh yeah, that's, uh, I'm trying to remember. I've had, they don't always work. It's hard because sometimes you get tags and it's not in your voice.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah. Yeaah. That was like the- I was Bobcat. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Gave me that tag. Yeah. Yes. So that was a long time ago. Long time ago. Yeaah. So that joke was, uh, the- I mean, you're a better comic now. Yeaah. The- Bobcat.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sorry, I'm a better comment than I was. I wanted to use an old example. Yes, uh, but yeaah, Bobcat Goldthwait, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I said the church thing. I think I remember now I was in Atlanta and he was there. And then I did my playing basketball, I got cut, you know, that joke. And then he said, uh, I was like, someone stole my ball. And, uh, and then he said, you should say, I forgive you. And like, so he gave me that tag. Like that's a tag.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so then I said it doesn't always work when you get tags. It's actually pretty hard for you to take tags. I don't, I don't think you should be able to take tags that much. I don't think you're in, if you're, if you can take too many tags, I don't think you've got your voice down. Uh, and your voice is too generic.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So if like, if, if everybody can take a tag, if like everybody gives you a tag, you're like, oh, I can use that. That's probably not good. You should be able to be like, I can't say that. And I think that means when you start getting to that point, you've kind of got your voice and that means you're kind of on track to your voice. Cause you're going like, I, I, that's not how I talk or I won't, I can't say that. Uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It happens and that continues to happen for a long time. I had that Jason clip that we talked about.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's on YouTube. Uh, I mean, I sound like Jay, Big Jay, Patrice O'Neill, David Tell, and Kurt Metzger, like all in one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it's because I was, we were hanging out with them. They were, you know, ahead of me and I'm watching them every night. And so you would always sound like that. So you always do kind of have that sound. I think you get out of that and I think you get out of it on your own. You just got to make sure, you know, it's like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You do get, be aware of it. Feel yourself when you feel that sounded like something that person would say or they did something like that. Just somewhat be aware of it. And I think you do eventually get out of it on your own, but you got to get your voice. I don't think you won't if you don't have your voice. You got to find your voice.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And all this being said, this is me. If you're doing comedy like I do, like if it's, if you're somewhat like me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, you know, if you're like Jeselnik, Jeselnik does a lot of jokes, very, very funny. Norman. Uh, Norman, a lot of jokes. So like, if you go that route too, it's then go that route. Like then don't mix in, like you might have a little truth that makes you think of that joke.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You can't, I don't think you can really, it's like you're mixing both. It's like be one or the other, either be, and so that other way works too. I can only speak for the way that I do it. That other way works, but you got to do it, you got to just do that way. That way the audience, when they fit there, they feel like, well, I think he's making all this up. But they like, but you like that because now you get to watch a bunch of jokes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so it's like, you kind of go that way, you know, you want almost the audience to go like, yeah, I'm not going to even go up and go, did that happen?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm gonna go, I love that joke about that. You're trying to make them...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Don't be in the middle. Make a decision. I think you can do that for everything in life. Make a decision. Make a choice. Go that route.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And David Tell's not clean. Uh, you know, but no one's, you're not going to, no one's as fun as David Tell. Like no one's, he's a joke teller. It's, it's just rapid jokes. It's like, I mean, he's the best to ever do it like that. I think even watching him live, like, like watching him live is the whole thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, most everybody now, it's cause connoisseurs are super famous, but there was times people would just walk up there to go eat and they're like, where's the bathroom? They're like, oh, downstairs. And they have no, they're like, they have to walk through a crowd, which is very funny to be like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like right next to the stage. It's one person and then the comment.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Literally you, the, the row that you walk in, there's that one table. I mean, you're, you could, you, if you walked with your hands out, you would touch the comedian. Yeah. It's crazy. That's why they come. That's why the sellers are so great. That feel, that's New York. That's like, that's what it's about.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Extra, you're hitting extra hard. That's great. I watched him do, someone sit up in the front row once, uh, and they were going to the bathroom. And, uh, but he's the guy like stood up and he goes, where are you going? He goes nowhere. He goes, no, I mean right now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's so funny. I mean, it's the best. It's easy. They're just guys. He's just, his jokes are just so good. I mean, it's just so good. He had the one story.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, I don't think I've ever told this one, but it was, uh, Attelle, Ben Bailey, uh, host of Cash Crab and Joe DeRosa. And they're standing outside of the comedy cellar. So, and Attelle was like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A lot of his fans, especially the Insomniac was still on the air.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] On Comedy Central, if y'all might know David Tell from that. He hosted the show. And that's another one that was very, that was a very David Tell, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Show. Cause it was like, he was just rapid fire making the jokes. And, uh, so he's sitting there. So let's say your breakfast is, uh, Ben Bailey. You're Joe DeRosa.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so David tells, stand there talking to him. And then a guy that's real drunk comes up and starts grabbing Dave and being like, I love Insomniac. And he's like, you know, like kind of grabbing him hard. And Dave's like, all right, man, thanks. You know, he's saying thank you. He appreciates it, but it's also like, dude, you grabbed me. Like, he doesn't love that. And then, uh, no one's saying anything. There's like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's just special. You know, it's like, I love it. Like that's what I got. This, this, this run going out, a people are very excited to be coming out, but it's like, it's made me like, just you fall back in love with it more where you're.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're just like, it's so good and like talking to you about it and you're like, it's just, there's nothing better.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It does. I'm thankful for everybody that comes out of it. That's the other thing too is I think.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A lot of it is like, you gotta make it, it's about that audience. It's not about you, it's about them. It's about, you know, you're, they can walk away and then you have nothing. So everything that you make has to be.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, I think a lot of times the entertainment that can be, it gets hard because you can become a big.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Name and a star and whatever and you think it's about, everything's about you. You have people helping you, you blah, blah, blah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it's, it's, you, you have none of that unless they come. If that audience doesn't come, I mean, it is borderline, probably 50-50, maybe in favor of them. They decide.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But then you have to stay good enough to keep them. And if you don't stay good enough to keep them, you will lose it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so you got to always look at everything to be like, I've got to try to be better. Not saying you're going to, everything's going to be perfect because it's, I mean, it's very hard, but.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You just have to be like, it's about that audience and about them coming out. And it's, and they decide everything. That's every TV show you write, every show, movie, all that stuff. That's what people lose out of touch with. It's the Hollywood, like, it's not, it's about them, dude. It's about making them come. They decide that. You know? And I think people forget that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But yea, like that's the $50,000 dollar thing, friend thing that we talked about. It's like just having like, especially this is specific for this, our business, but it's like having your, you know, I'm still, I still talk to my, like my friends from high school. Like that's who I talk to almost the most.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And my Travis, my tour manager, me and him, we've known each other since we were 14.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so it's like, you gotta have just people that are like, you know, my sister's about to start working for us.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You have my family. I have a lot of people that, cause you look, you get in a world, a lot of people say yes to you. A lot of people, you know, if I asked for something, a lot of people go, we'll make it happen. And there is a world where I do need that stuff to happen. Like if I'm like, I want this, it's, this is driving me crazy. And like some of the time I'm trying to stay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, I don't want to become miserable on the road. Like I don't, it's very hard and you're gone a lot. I'm home.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Today, and I'm gone, you know, like, so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's some stuff that's like, you know, it's like, yeah, you do little things where you're like, the hotel will be nice. Or you do, you know, some stuff is like, just be like, I'm just trying not to.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't want to lose my mind. Uh, but you also, but you have, but I still, I'm going to hire my sister who's going to not listen to me once. Like, you know, you gotta have those where you're not, everybody's going to say yes to, you know, your friends are trying, my Travis is going to be like, you're dumb.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And like, you know, but then I got them. That's why you guys, that's why all of us are together.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No matter where we get, it's still, you're, Vecchione will make fun of me, you make fun of me, like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We all make fun of each other. It's like that's what you're doing. You're keeping it to try to be like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, as I say now, you want to build like a city around you, but it's a city of your people that you trust and that people are not going to be


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, they're not just, cause you have your people outside of that that are going to be, you know, you know, they advise you and my managers and agents are really good at like, they advise you on what to do, whatever. And, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, but you can tell people, you know, I could say I can do whatever, you know, I don't want to do that. I want to do this. And someone goes, all right, I got to do it. So you need someone that's like, yo dude, you can't, that's insane. You go, that's right. That was crazy. I'm sorry that I asked that. Uh, and that's, you know, it's like, that's the, that's the point. I don't know. I think. Absolutely. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's a very specific topic. It's a very specific reference. Just taking your advice. There it is. It's a more specific story.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah. Let's do, what's, so Thanksgiving, so this is Thanksgiving week, let's just talk, we'll do Thanksgiving. Yeaah, where does it rank up?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Howling is my favorite. Very favorite, okay. Uh, yeaah. Uh, do, oh, we'll just do nothing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't, I mean, I guess I like the food, but I'm not a-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, not the most food. I like if the food's made the way again that I like it. Like where it's like, that's how we always make it. If it's ham, corn, mac and cheese.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, I'm not a big stuffings guy. Uh, ice cream, like I like that. Savory stuff. Yes. Like all that kind of stuff. Honey baked tams. I love it. Uh, not a big turkey guy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Justin's idea of, of saying, uh, of doing like your favorite foods. I was always like after Thanksgiving, like a day or two after your, I always get like, I go to McDonald's and like, I don't get.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No pushback from anybody. Cause it's like usually after you eat like, like feel like fancy food and then after two days of it, you're like, I just want McDonald's man. And then I just go get like, you're like, I just want something dumb. Like I don't, this is, I've had too much living on the high horse, you know?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I like it for that. I like your family gets together. I do love that. You get to see everybody. Laura loves it. Laura loves that for that reason. Laura's a big, like, she just wants stuff to get the family together.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How do they get them to go? You think you gotta walk over, walk and find them? Were they in a different town? Like they don't live like, you just gotta walk around to like teepees and like other, like there's no, you ride a horse to another town? Well, the Native Americans came to them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're near the coast too. I know, but I'm saying like, how do they know? Oh, so they just walk by and go, what are y'all doing? Something smells good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So they were, yea, and they were friends. They were friends. So that's how they're, yea.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is there one food that has 4,500 calories?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh really? Oh man. Oof. Oh, I don't believe it. That's like real, that's not, that's something you don't think about. Those are rookies though. That's all I think about.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Can you imagine having to call a plumber? Like they go, you think you're gonna fix it? Not only can we not fix it, we have to call another guy to come in. That's how much damage you did.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright. I would be willing to bet that it's not, these plumbers are not coming for a cooking goal, they're coming for the other thing and people just lie about the cooking goal.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My dad made me pour cereal down the toilet, so I just always threw stuff down the toilet.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Seinfeld. Seinfeld. That, so that really happened? Yea. Oh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Why do you even need a location? Just be like, he got a hole in him. He got a hole in him and he ripped in his tum tum.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No. I don't know. I think I saw some of it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That would be interesting to, uh, to have like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, you go to where, like, uh, I mean, go to Oklahoma. Oh, go to Oklahoma. Like, go somewhere. Big field. Big field, go flat. Have it go down the road and just be super flat and be like, you can make them as big as you want to make them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Put jelly inside of it. That's what I'm telling you. Or jam. And jam. Jam and preserves. Some have jelly, some have jam, some have preserves. And everybody licks the street.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We talked about it because Grimace had, it looked like Grimace was trying to get it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, Grimace had a cone and then, but it was upside down.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah, yeaah. No, oh no, Ronald, maybe Ronald had it, but it was like, perfect, like, where you're like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, just be like, oh, who do we got next? I guess you'd be like, who do we got next?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] All right. Mickey Mouse. And then you really show the footage of it. It's just a guy in an empty room and there's no Macy's days parade. Up next, Star Wars. All of them are there and they're bigger than the buildings and everybody's at home like, wow.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think that you have to have someone talking or otherwise we're grown people watching balloons in silence.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I know, but you need, but you need just the pure awkwardness of just if there was nobody talking.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, you're, you're, you're not like listening to them, but they're, they're, they're, they're talking. Otherwise it's going to be, it gets real weird, dude. If I walked in someone's home and they were watching the Macy's Parade alone.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's watching Macy Day's Parade alone, no volume.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You can't, it's, yeaah, you can't, you just listen to your teens thing then.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How would you, you know, it's not like, do you like turkey or ham? That's like, all right, I could see how you get that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it's not being like I'm not sitting at all thankful. It's like, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Does anybody want to sit in a room for four hours and just be like, let me go through what I'm thinking? No. The way that's afraid.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's what I honestly, I believe these people that do these polls. Felix? They go, yeah, they go, uh, they go knock on a, they're in New York, they knock on four doors and they go, that's good, that's all of America. And then it's like, uh, and then they just go and go, everybody's doing it this other way. You ask someone, does every country have Thanksgiving?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is that Wednesday? I'm on a show on Thanksgiving, doing that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, the day before. Cause everybody gets there and they're like, let's go out. Cause you're going to be home all day tomorrow. And so that would always be a big day.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Don't get out and drive. Don't be dumb. All right. Everybody again, we love you. Thank you, uh, for everything. And, uh, yeah, we will see you next week. Bye.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hello folks, welcome to the Nate land podcast. I'm Nate Barghetti, Aaron Weber. We solved that problem. Welcome.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Not bad. Bates, Brian Bates here, uh, yeah, I have to apologize because people, I got in a lot of trouble.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] By everybody that I was, uh, mean.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I didn't mean to go on a big, I didn't, I mean I did, I guess.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's all coming out of, I was trying to be funny, making fun of you, uh, and it got, and people took it too real.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I don't want you to think I ever have like any of this in my heart. Like I don't hate anybody.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And we're just making, and then we're going after each other hard. I probably did go after him. I probably did get frustrated a lot when we traveled together and it might come out like that and you see it and I can get very like, uh, intense. I can get very, you know, it's not, I'm not perfect. I'm not trying to think I am.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I don't need to make you think that I like hate baits.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Or that, you know, something to be mean. So I apologize for that. I know there's kids listening to this and...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And uh, so, we are fine, or I think we're fine, I'm fine. I'm of course fine, I was the bully. So, I feel terrific. Uh, but, if, are you fine?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I will not know. It's, uh, I know people are like, oh, maybe I've been, maybe the last couple have been grouchy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We've definitely been on the road more than I've ever been, but that still doesn't matter. That's not y'all's fault. That's no one's fault. It's their fault. That's no one's fault. I can choose to do this or not do it. I do enjoy doing this. Uh, it's fun. I've got to learn the balance. I'm working on the balance. It's part of my reason about trying to work out and get in better shape to have a better attitude.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Towards everything for all the work that is coming. Your whole life you work to get this much work so you don't want to blow it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, but it will not, you know, I get it. Like it was, it was too much. I get on like, you know, it's like I'll just, I mean I called you a cow. That didn't help.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I'm like used to like, it's not like I'm used to like, but it's like we were, I was watching a clip this morning, Rich Voss and Bobby Kelly.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It gets over into other things where it's just like you really just can go after someone and it can be too much.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. Just to show there was- The talk show episode.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes, that was right after that one. But they might see it still. What if they're still like, yeaah, I can tell.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It, I, it was, yeah, I, but I don't want anybody to think that. I mean, that one guy's not coming to the show, like I, that breaks my heart, like this, the dude to think.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That, that he was like, this was his last straw for him. It's, and look, if he doesn't want to, like, I get it. Like, don't. You don't have to, like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But it's like, I would never, I would never make that guy feel bad. I never want anybody to be truly hurt and their heart to be hurt. Like I have no desire to do that. It's, I'm trying to be funny. We're making jokes. I definitely think you go too far. This is a big problem you have with, ask even comedians as all of us, sometimes with, when you talk to like someone that's not a comedian and you make jokes, it's like way out of line.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause you're like, my mind is just kinda like always just, it's about the joke.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so, sometimes when it does come across, it just comes across mean. And if I am tired.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I do feel it. I don't want, I would never want his feelings to be hurt. I would never want, I don't want you to be listening to this and think this comes like this. I know I'm.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Lave was the nicest man in stand up and you said, but y'all see a little bit more. You see, I, but I'm intense. I'm not, you know, I do have, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, look, I've dealt with a lot. I've had to deal with it. I've had to fix myself and I'm always trying to fix myself because I can get very like quick and you don't do what I have something that doesn't go the way I want it to go. I can get upset. I'm doing a bunch of stuff to help that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because I don't want to live like that. And, uh, so, I, there's a lot of stuff that I can do. I think a lot of it is the reason you're a comic the way you are. Because I do, I can get annoyed at anything.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it's, and it's always stuff that's so stupid.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But that's where I think comedy comes from is like you get annoyed at like a line at Target or I get annoyed like and I'm just losing it and like, uh, but I never out really.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Give it to someone. I bottle up and give it to the people that I love. And I just jam it all on them. And so, you know, my Bates, my wife, you know, Aaron, he's got a Waffle House shirt on.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so Bruce Bruce, I opened for Bruce Bruce once. Did you? Yeah. Caroline's. How'd it go?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They, uh, he does Bruce, he murders Bruce Bruce in his intro. I was with you. Yeah. Yeah. And he, uh, so I go out and then Mark Theobald is there, a comic from New York. And so then, uh, I go out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I'm featuring in the middle. So I get done with my set, goes great.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then Bruce Bruce is in the green room. I talked to him for a second. I just said, you know, I was like, I am from the South, like, you know, and he was like cool and like nice real quick. And then when the Mark brought him up, Mark walks off stage and they start playing music. And this is almost the first time I've ever seen like kind of a showmanship.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So you're, you should go. And I like went, I almost, almost, and thank goodness I did it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I almost was going to go back and be like, Bruce Bruce, they said your name name. I thought that might be funny. Uh, but thankfully I didn't do any of that. Something, I at least had something in me that goes, just don't. I'm sure he knows that his name's called and they were playing a song and then he walks out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And when he goes on stage, he like raps like the last part of the song, but it's like awesome. Like it's like, it's in, and you're like, oh yeah, that's cause that's a, that's a showmanship.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I mean like just destroys and then just, you know, and it is, it's the way he comes out and the way like you see it where you're like, man, that is awesome. Like it's like, it builds that excitement. It builds that, you know, people are like, yeah, we're here to have a good time. It almost makes everybody like just check out, you know? Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I like that. Uh, so, alright, I did have a lot of people ask me, they said, were we still friends? What'd you say? I go, never were.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There you go. I told you, I pulled him up, I pinned him against the wall. Who sent you?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My apology is real, at least. Cause people will think I don't, like it's not a real apology. I don't ever want you to be, your feelings hurt. Or you're like to me to hurt you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's comics, we're making fun, like so I can probably go a little bit harder than everybody. And I get that. I gotta bring it back. I've even gone so hard. There's been times I've gone so hard later on, like just various, you pull, you're like, Hey man, I'm just like messing with you. Like you say it later. Cause you're like, I just, you're like, well, I can't. Like that was too much.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And like, you're going for the laugh, you're going for whatever. So I don't want any of that, you know. I mean, the guy that's not coming to the show again.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That was like, that hurts me. Like you're like, wow, I don't want that guy to think.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean the last couple episodes I guess I was grouchy and yea, but I don't want that guy to be. That's not what this is about.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'll start, you know, we're calling, you know, I go on these rants. It's all I got, man.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You definitely like- Get him to come back. You might need you on the show to get him to-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm excited. I've been introduced to athletic greens recently. Uh, life has been busy for me. Uh, life's busy for you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's, this is an easy way to get your vitamins. You get a pound this drink. It's the, you know, it's great. Just one scoop. Athletic Greens has given you a free one year supply of immune supporting vitamin D and five free travel packs with your first purchase. Visit athleticgreens.com slash nate for a free one year supply.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Vitamin D and 5 free travel packs with your first purchase that is AthleticGreens.com slash Nate. Also, a special occasion is coming up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So the gift, so get the gift that will last forever from Paint Your Life for Valentine's Day. This is a great gift.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you want to do it for your husband, your wife, uh, you know, babe, of your kids, uh, it's very easy. Get a custom painting of your loved one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] For your loved one, for a limited time, get 20% off your painting and free shipping. Text the word Nate to 640006400. Paint your life, celebrate the moments that matter the most.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Also, did you know 2 out of 3 men will experience some form of hair loss by the time they are 35? Take action!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And prevent hair loss. Go to keeps.com slash nate to get your first month of treatment for free. That's keeps.com slash nate for your first month free. Uh, keeps.com slash nate.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So Green Chef makes eating well easy with plans to fit, uh, every lifestyle, whether you are keto, paleo, vegan, vegetarian, gluten-free, whatever you are, just looking to eat more balanced meals. Green Chef offers a range of recipes to match your preferences.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Go to greenchef.com slash nate130 and use code nate130 to get $130 off plus free shipping. Green Chef, the number one milk kit for eating well.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, oh no, you can just come on in. Uh, Nick was with me this weekend and uh, he's flying out today. So, uh, we're going to read some comments, Nick. Everybody knows you, Nick. Hello, hello folks. You know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Blake Fitzsimmons. I just want to say how much of an impact Nate, his family and the podcast have had on our lives. Our daughter has been in the hospital since she was born in August.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Other podcast listeners from the alien page on Facebook have been supportive as well. So just a huge thank you for myself and my family.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We love what y'all are doing, I just want to make sure y'all know how appreciative we are.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh yeaah, that was before, so he might change his mind completely. Uh, that's awesome. We are praying for you and that's great that they're getting out and we'll get you to, we'll see you at another show. There's going to be many shows.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Thank you very much for that, yea. See that's, and that's what it's about. If I get a little ranty, if I get a little, don't take it, just don't try to take it too serious. That's all I can ask.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is like, don't, I'm not, you know, maybe it is being, you just tell me. If I was like, hey, that was probably a little too mean. Just tell me, I'll be like, alright, you're right. Probably, I need to back it up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I know they're all nice. That's what we want it to be. Everybody's nice, but I think we're all friends. And so if I call you a cow.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like it's just, I don't, like in some of it, you're like, it's happening so quick. And my vocabulary is not extensive.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] As we noticed. So I have to go to the basic. Just say cow.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I picture it in my head and it's all funny in my head.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I, you know, and then like in the moment, I don't think like, Hey man, you just called another guy a cow and that he was about to get slaughtered. And then, and then that like clicks in that moment.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, the cow. I don't know how being called a cow is positive, but.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah, that's true. That's true. I bet they'd be difficult to travel with.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, John Whipple, Nate, so encouraging to hear that you're creating a brand that will make it easy to identify clean, non-political content. Your comedy is enjoyed by my whole family. I love that. I got asked about that this weekend. Uh, yeaah. Hopefully, I mean, hopefully it goes. Might not go. I think it'll go. We'll do something. Keep going. But it's, that's the idea.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Give you guys the nice dadgum comedy y'all deserve.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] See that's, but like that's where I don't, I'm not perfect. I, dude, I'm, I can be the most hypocritical person on earth. I can, I can say one thing, one, and then in my head it can all make sense. I'm saying so much stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I have no idea what I'm saying. I don't think I'm perfect. I will never make sure that I make you feel terrible.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I can assure you that that's the thing that hurts me the most is I don't want him to feel bad. I don't want someone to think that. I'll never make it. I don't want your heart to be hurt. I don't want you to think I'm making fun. I would never be think, make you think I'm better than you. I'd like, I don't have that in my body to do that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The comedian in me can be hard and mean and blah, but it's like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think sometimes you're like, well I don't think any of this, and I hope that comes off, so then that's why you can go super hard.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause then you don't, you think, well, I'm not gonna, I would never do something, you know. Uh, or like, you know, and I'll tell you, I'll pay for it. Like I say, I'm not like, I'm not saying it to hold that over you. I would never hold that over. I would never in a million years. I know I'm saying it. I think I'm saying it to that, to, I'm, in my head, I'm like, I'm doing so, I'm like, at least I'm trying to show you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That I'm doing something not, like it's like, you know, and I think that's what I think like, well, if I tell you I'm doing this nice thing for you, then I can tell you, I can make fun of you. And that's what, so that's probably the logic that I used in my head.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Laura Emswiler Watson, I'm not a doctor, but I do have some experience with ADHD and Nate's texture issue with paper napkins is a huge clue that he possibly has it. Nate should take one of those online quizzes for it on air.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, well I do that. ADH online quiz. I mean look, I'm like, should be in a hospital. Yea, it's really not his fault. I mean, I should, something's wrong, I can't even do anything.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do you, do you tend to avoid or delay and start on a new important task?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When I know it should be done, that's another thing that I have to deal with. I have problems with that, you know, we got Abigail working here, my sister and Laura. Like if I, I look at things like if I want to know an answer to something, I don't understand how the answer's not and then I can't let it go. And if, like I'm not good with


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If I ask something and then instead of just thinking it gets solved, I need to be told it was solved. And it will be the dumbest thing ever. It won't be like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Getting our, uh, pool built, or is it like, it'll be...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Did you add, did you reach out to that person? I mean, some of them will be like, if, like, if someone, if a folk listened to this, or like, you're like, did you, did you reach them and get the tickets for them? And like, I can't let that go until I know for sure that they've been like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Talk to, uh, do you find yourself making careless mistakes when engaged in something you feel is boring, repetitive, or difficult? Well.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I guess I, I called you a cowl. So that was probably careless. I don't know if I was bored. No, I don't think you were bored. I think that was directed. You were very, very focused. I think that was the most I've ever been on.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know if I make the mistake, but I get bored with it a lot. Yeah, I get, uh, maybe, but I mean, the whole thing's correct, unless it's a mistake. Like I don't know how many, but maybe I do make a mistake.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I can get very bored. I get very, if I'm not, if it's not up my alley, I'm just like it. And I'll just zone out. I like don't, you know, pay attention.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Why don't get like, like, uh, I can get distracted though. Someone can be, I can do it when someone's talking to me then I can just be like, I'm gone. But you get distracted.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I always thought, I think that too, but I don't know, like why do I watch these movies and like they can't, I can't focus on them. I can't. Cause you got a lot on your mind. Yeah, that could be true. Uh, Greg Cole.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I like that. Lauren Watson was not, uh, uh, uh, she's like, I'm not a doctor. We're like, but I think she knows what she's talking about.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. Which apparently that's a sign. That's a sign. I might have a lunch. I might be just kind of wrapped up a little bit of everything. Uh, like an everything bagel.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Greg Cole, intern Cole got mixed up somehow. Utah has the youngest median age at 31.3 with Alaska having the second youngest median age at 35. Maine has the oldest median age at 45.0. People in Utah tend to have an entire van or SUV full of kids, which brings that median age down.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So uhm, I fired Cole. There you go. Cole ever. Guess what? His hats are going to be that he chooses his college will be limited to one apparently because he's not smart enough. Dead gum it, Cole!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Did you read it wrong or Cole got it wrong? Cole got it wrong. Oh Cole.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cole did great. Taylor Ruggles, about the dinner time in Spain, a lot of Spanish speaking countries have late dinnertime because it's custom to take a nap during the day so they work later into the night.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I have a Spanish lifestyle. Yeah, I like that. Move down the air.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it would be probably 4, 3, 4 p.m.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Four p.m., maybe five, if I take, but I don't, you know what's funny? I go lay down, I don't take naps.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You always sit down, I don't ever take naps. I go in there and I'm gonna go take a nap. There's occasion, like the other day after we did, I was on Bob and Tom, me and you both were on Bob and Tom. And that, but that nap, one of my favorite naps.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is getting up to do morning radio when you only get like three hours of sleep and then you go do radio. So it's borderline not even a nap. It's going back to bed. But like then you go eat and you're just so tired and then it's during the day and you're like, I can't wait to go back to sleep. You don't like getting up early to do morning radio, but man.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That, that, when you're done after that, that satisfaction of being, you worked, I did something this morning and you go eat like a, just whatever, worst breakfast you can get, pancakes, whatever you're, and then you, it's like the most, you're filming the most deserved, like, time to eat that. Like, uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I had a little bit of coffee before mom and Tom, and then I have a diet coke for breakfast. Diet coke, sir.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Then I go back to sleep. But I have, I'm having trouble with coffee at night. I'm having to time my, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I always like to have a, I get one before the show, and I think I gotta have it at like two.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] PM or something. I'm getting old enough finally, like. But you eat after the show, right? And you drink caffeine?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I had shoes on and stuff. I was like wearing my full outfit, but I mean, I'm a 186. So I was like, yeah, I did it literally yesterday and I thought, well, I gotta, I gotta go 20 pounds.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, well you can still coast, but I'm getting close.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause I gotta get, I gotta get, you know, look, I gotta get in a better mood. I gotta do a lot of stuff. I'm fixing a lot of stuff. You have to just fix just your weight. So I won't be a cow. So you won't be a cow. Uh, where are you? Uh, I stop weight myself. Oh, there you go. That's the answer. Uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, but that water comes from the sky, but then the flood, hey, a volcano, a volcano would be like, well, her tears are fire because she's down there. She's married to the devil.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, Jordan Garrett Lane. My grandparents called lunch, dinner. Once they invited me over for dinner, I didn't show up until 6.30 PM. I guess it's not my fault for not knowing my grandparents better. I guess it is his fault. Uh, I guess it is my fault. Yep. Yeah, it was his fault. Uh, Christina Barga.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I couldn't help but notice that when we have another penguin situation on our hands, the way Nate and breadcrumbs say bingles, sounds like it's spelled bingles. B-I-N-G-L-E-S. I'd be curious to see what Aaron Lane has to say about this. I would bet he pronounces it, how do you pronounce it? Bangles. Bangles. That's how you say Cincinnati bangles? Yeah.