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[Assistant] That's the first time I had fired my weapon at anyone. I hand the empty clips to Brown. He lays on his back staring at the sky, blowing out air out of his lungs trying to relax. Garrity is on his stomach staring at the captured hill. Within minutes we are ordered down the hill across the dry stream bed and up the captured hill to join the rest of the company. Close up, the aftermath of the attack is sickening.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Dead Koreans lay as they fell. Some have parts of their bodies missing. All are covered with blood and gore. Several GIs are being helped by medics. A couple of our men are seriously wounded. Their face is gray with pain and loss of blood.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] One man is held down by two GIs. He's thrashing his arms and screaming for them to kill him. An exploding grenade has blown away most of his legs and his genitals. I don't know him by name. He transferred from another unit only days before we left Camp Carson. He was married five days before we shipped out.


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[Assistant] I look at him as I pass by, thinking I will never forget this sight. I'm sickened by what I'm seeing, fearful and grateful that it isn't me. He dies on the way to the aid station.


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[Assistant] The third platoon is placed on the forward slope, facing the field and the mountain where the North Koreans have fled. Platoon Sergeant Finner walks up and down the perimeter, above the foxholes we inherited from the original owners. Two men to a hole, make sure you have it the way you want it before dark. They'll be back to try and take this hill tonight.


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[Assistant] Do you really think so, Sarge? Bergstrom asks. Count on it. Get everything together in your hole. No one leaves his hole after dark.


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[Assistant] Finner's style is exactly the opposite of Sergeant Quimby's and the guy that's another guy he had. Sure wish he hadn't transferred, but at least he's out of this mess. Finner's style consists of he speaks, you do, no questions, no discussion.


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[Assistant] My hands shake as I set the bar on its bipod and put an extra clip beside it. I'm nervous.


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[Assistant] And about half sick. Even though I wasn't in the actual assault on the hill and our platoon suffered no casualties, the sight of the dead and torn bodies and wounded men makes me realize that we are only now getting into combat.


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[Assistant] Besides my naive sense of fairness makes me question if I should be shooting at people who aren't shooting at me. I adjust the sights for 600 yards, see movement, and fire.


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[Assistant] Finner is standing behind me, binoculars pressed to his eyes. Way low. Raise it up a couple clicks. I nod. We got any tracers? I could see how I am shooting if I had tracers. No. Keep shooting.


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[Assistant] Let him know we're here. Finner turns and walks away.


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[Assistant] Conversations dwindle between whole partners. If you have to smoke, you do it under your poncho. Our eyes alternately water and dry out as we strain to see without light. Every few minutes, someone hisses for quiet. It's dark now. I'm afraid.


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[Assistant] Time drags, it's so dark we can't see any features of the hill or anything outside our hole. The word has been passed to quit smoking. Even smoke can direct enemy to our positions. Suddenly, they're here.


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[Assistant] I think I hear the harsh grunting sounds of Korean just before someone fires. In seconds, everyone is firing. M1s, BARs, machine guns, grenades, and finally, the company mortars from the reverse slope. The only light is the strobe-like muzzle flashes or light from the explosions of grenades and mortar shells.


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[Assistant] In spite of the constant blast of sound, I think I hear shouting directly below us. Throw a grenade! I yell in browns here, pointing out and down from our hole.


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[Assistant] Instead of whispering, now I have to shout at the top of my voice. He pulls the pin on a fragmentation grenade and flips it up and out. The explosion and screams seem to come at the same time. Good throw! I yell again.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We fire mostly at sounds. A North Korean officer or non-com shouts and several Americans guns blast away in that direction of his voice. Firing brings return fire. A whistle sounds anywhere, somewhere out in the field and the invisible enemy still shouting and screaming moves away.


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[Assistant] A magnesium flare, the first fired in this firefight, exposes a scene of running, stumbling men in its blue-white light.


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[Assistant] Finally, mortar shells escort the enemy across the field.


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[Assistant] My legs are shaking. I don't know when it started, but I'm losing control.


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[Assistant] I reach down and grip my knees hard as I press the trembling eases. I relax a little against the back of our hole. Stay in your hole. Nobody gets out of his hole. They'll be back. Sergeant Krauss puts himself in danger by yelling, but he can tell that we're relaxing, getting careless as we begin talking like frightened magpies.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They do come again. Shouting, firing, throwing grenades. We return fire, sometimes firing a full clip at a sound.


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[Assistant] They're below our hole, firing, yelling, throwing grenades. We run out of grenades and have to expose ourselves to fire into that bowl-like depression below us. Enemy mortar shells begin falling inside the perimeter. Our own mortars walk shells up


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The hill toward our positions in an effort to break up the attack. Shrapnel buzzes through the air in front and behind us.


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[Assistant] They're so close, the silhouettes creep up the sky as they climb toward our holes. We can actually smell the garlic they eat.


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[Assistant] The enemy penetrates our perimeter on the rear slope, putting us in danger of being overrun. We don't dare fire behind us. We have to trust our men inside the perimeter to protect themselves and our backs. A few bayonets are bloodied as several of the enemy try to take the company's CP. The fight continues into the early morning.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Before dawn, they retreat again. The screams of wounded and dying take the place of gunfire and exploding shells. It seems an eternity before there's enough light to see. A blanket of fog forms as dawn breaks, adding to the horror of the scene.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] G.I.'s leave their holes in spite of the danger. Buddies need help and there aren't enough medics.


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[Assistant] They look at the wounds, retch and vomit at the site, then they do what they can for their comrades.


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[Assistant] And uhm, this guy Ted, he, he's very, you're gonna see a lot of this, you know, he's talking about how scared he is. He's so scared he's shaking. And he has to physically grab his legs to stop them from shaking. So this is horrifying.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] 7 September 1951, the sun burns off the fog. The enemy is gone, except for those who died or are still dying on the hill and in the field. The rest of us leave, our holes coughing, stretching, groaning as adrenaline-stiffened muscles move grudgingly.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The air begins to heat, creating a smell, many smells. The odor of gunpowder and cordite is as sharp in the nostrils. We have sweated in spite of the cool night air. Our fear adds its distinct odor.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Most of us have urinated in our clothes. Some of us lost control of our bowels. Blood is adding to the mixture of odors as it soaks into the ground. From the bodies of our enemies are added the pungent, peculiar odors of unwashed body and garlic.


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[Assistant] The National Body Order of Korea, North and South. Brown and I stretch out on the ground above our hole.


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[Assistant] We're exhausted. Shudders rattle our limbs as we try to relax. God, I hope that's the last time we do that. I don't think I could, brown groans.


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[Assistant] A few minutes later we are moving like old men checking on our comrades in the holes around us. We've lost a few more wounded. How long can this company last at this rate? I don't know the exact numbers.


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[Assistant] But I can count. We won't last long if we lose 10 or 15 men every night. The wounded are just as lost to us as the dead. God, listen to me.


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[Assistant] These guys are my friends. Some I've known for two years. There were a few less than 200 in King Company when we got here. At this rate, the company will be whittled down pretty fast.


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[Assistant] And the thing that's really horrifying is the way that the Chinese and the North Koreans attack over and over and over again. And they don't care about casualties. They just keep coming.


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[Assistant] I know, medics call it the crud, the Korean crud.


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[Assistant] I peel a stained sock from my foot. They gave me a penicillin shot the other day, but I can't tell if it did any good. Two weeks in this country, it's eaten me from the feet up.


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[Assistant] It's from too much sweat, having my feet too wet, too long, and not changing socks often enough. That's what they tell me. You know how I sweat, I don't think I'll ever be dry.


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[Assistant] Just open ulcers on his legs. Again, from the heat. And the reason I emphasize that heat a little bit, because most of the time when people think of the Korean War, they think of the freezing cold.


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[Assistant] Which is how they showed up ready, they showed up ready to fight in heat.


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[Assistant] This awful feeling that a bullet is going to blow my brains out at any second or worse, a shell will blow me to pieces never leaves me.


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[Assistant] I thought I might just be borrowing trouble until this afternoon. Oh, how I wish I were home with Laura.


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[Assistant] I squeeze my eyes shut trying to remember what she looks like, every detail about her.


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[Assistant] I don't want to take her picture out of its cellophane wrapper. It's almost an insult to expose her to this horrible place. She said in her latest letter that she's probably pregnant.


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[Assistant] What a wonderful and terrible thing for us.


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[Assistant] I'll just have to be as careful as I can several hours after dark. The North Koreans come again.


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[Assistant] We think we hear people moving in the field, then in the bushes below. We're sure it isn't our imagination when we hear the guttural sounds of Korean, probably coming from non-coms ordering their group of men up the hill.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] As the night before, a group gathers below our position, someone fires, and the fight is on. We fire and they fire. We throw grenades and they throw grenades. Men yell in pain, anger, and fear.


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[Assistant] Our company mortars begin firing from the rear slope. We can see the enemy only in the flash of exploding shells and grenades. There seems to be more of them than last night. And they seem to be pressing harder.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Brown throws a grenade into a pocket of brush below our foxhole. It's quiet for a short period, then another group gathers below our hole. I think they're trying to find a way to get us. We yell for flares, but none come.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I moved to the right side of my hole, firing to my right across the front of Gerrity's hole.


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[Assistant] I let go of the bar trigger and reach for the pistol on my hip. I shove it in the direction of fire.


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[Assistant] As they flee across the field, dragging some of their dead and wounded flares blossom in the sky as if to help them find their way in the darkness. We pray that daylight will come before the enemy tries again.


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[Assistant] The rule to stay in our foxholes is modified. Medics are quietly announced from hole to hole to treat the wounded. It's dangerous, but that's what these brave men do.


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[Assistant] Some of the wounded are easy to find as they scream for help or groan in pain. There are groans and screams coming from the field too.


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[Assistant] The grey light of dawn allows the exhausted men of king company to see.


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[Assistant] Only the dead and dying on the hill and scattered below us on the field. I pull myself out of the hole and scoot along it in a tight squat to make a small target as possible to any sniper or straggler. I have to see the man I shot with my .45.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've been told that the power of a .45 bullet will throw a charging man backward, even if he's struck in the arm. The dead North Korean lays several yards below Gerrity's hole. His head is downhill, arms and legs splayed. There's a black and brown stain in the middle of his sand-colored jacket. His mouth is open in a silent plea or shout or curse.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Good shot, Garity smiles, a small smile as he crawls from his hole. Couldn't miss, I turned to my friend. I could well say I didn't dare miss.


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[Assistant] One man has been shot at point blank range by someone in the headquarters section. The wounded trooper had probably left his hole during the firefight and in panic ran toward the crest of the hill. So there's a little blue on blue activity. They were super strict about getting out of your hole. And that's why.


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[Assistant] Many of the tactics we learned in training are useless, but it's obvious if we haven't learned discipline, we'd better learn it soon.


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[Assistant] We were told that fear was to be our constant companion, or, sorry, we weren't told that fear was to be our constant companion, a part of each of us, every minute of the day and night.


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[Assistant] We weren't told that adrenaline would keep us going during the firefight, but leave us aching all over, almost too stiff to move when it stops flowing. No one ever told us that we were going to have, that we weren't going to have time to grieve for our dead comrades or for ourselves.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, you're here, you're stuck on this hill, and you're gonna stay on this hill, and tonight the Koreans are gonna come, and they're gonna attack, and they're gonna try and kill you and try and overrun your position. And if we make it through tonight,


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[Assistant] We're doing the same thing the next night. And if we make it through that night, we're doing the same thing that night. This is next level.


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[Assistant] I realize there's no time or place when I'll be safe, that's the point. You know, I deploy to Iraq, you come back to base. Come back to base, guys are literally playing Halo. Like the video game. Eating food. There's bunkers. Like you're safe.


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[Assistant] You know, I've talked about the fact of when guys have combat trauma.


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[Assistant] If guys are on the line for two, three, four days and you start to see it, if you pull them back off the line, they'll recover, they'll be okay. Like you're saying, like they just need a little rest between sets. But when there's no rest between sets, and it's just redlined, the engine is just redlined, redlined, redlined,


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[Assistant] This is how you saw World War I guys coming back with shell shock. There's just no relief. You're just gonna sit in this trench. You're exposed to overhead fire when you're in the trench. And by the way, if you make it through the day and avoid getting blown up by artillery, tomorrow morning you're gonna charge across no man's land into a machine gun nest. Horror.


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[Assistant] I realize there's no time or place where I'll be safe. I'm gonna have to watch my step, look in all directions at once, and never drop my guard.


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[Assistant] Can I watch where I put my feet while watching every brush, every bush, bush, rock, and patty for the enemy? Can I be ready for every shell before it hits? With will, will all that be enough? Will I ever get back to Laura?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm going to have to keep her in a special corner of my memory. I can't let thoughts of her distract me. I will have to pick up the moments carefully so that one misstep that might kill me doesn't happen because I'm dreaming of her.


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[Assistant] Now all I have to do is figure out how to do that. That's why I also like the acceptance of death in these situations is very imp- I-


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[Assistant] I guess I use the word important, right? If you're worried that you're gonna die,


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[Assistant] It's, this is why you're shaking, this is why you're freaking out. If you kind of say, yeaah, you know what, I'm here, I volunteered for this, and I'm, there's a, I'm probably gonna die. And, that's a huge, I mean imagine like uhm,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'll try and think of, okay, let's say you were going to take a test in college. And it was a test that


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[Assistant] It was gonna be very important for your grade. And you weren't really ready for it?


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[Assistant] And you just, one day you go, you know what, I'm just gonna fail this class because I have to retake it. Like imagine how much that stress is relieved, right? When you have something that you're supposed to do, and then finally you're like, I can't get it done, it's over. And I'm not doing it. It's relief. So when you say, hey, you know what?


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[Assistant] I am, I'm probably gonna die, and that's okay. That's a, it's, it might sound, it might sound negative, it might sound pessimistic, but man, I'm telling you, for me,


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[Assistant] It's the solution to this level of fear. Yeah. Is just, yup, I'm gonna die.


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[Assistant] He doesn't, he doesn't talk about it much, but like the food, the hunger situation sucks. They do get, because there is like a line, there's a front line, so they do get some meals delivered up to the front, but, you know, it's not great. Let's put it that way.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're right, and he's gonna get into that. He's gonna get into situations where he is like, you know what? It's, I would rather just die right now.


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[Assistant] And, and we'll get to, in those moments, the only thing that makes him say, you know what, I'm gonna take one more step, is thinking about Laura. That's the only, if you didn't have Laura, he'd be like, well, giving up. Quitters eyes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You see guys when they're gonna quit. You see their eyes. They're not gonna do this anymore. Whatever the thing is. Yeaah, yeaah. They're not gonna be cold anymore. They're not gonna be wet anymore. Now just imagine that you're


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're so petrified with fear, and like you said, you're suffering physically. And you know, the food situation, like I said, it wasn't great. But they did, he talks about, sometimes they get hot meals.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But, I mean, they get like one hot meal every two weeks or something like this. I mean, I don't want to make it sound like it was a comfortable gig. Like they had, you know, good food. No, they're getting junk food. Junk. Totally physically uncomfortable. I mean, being in a foxhole is not comfortable.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You can't really get comfortable. These guys didn't have ground pads. Like even right now, I mean my whole career, I always had a ground pad with me. I put it, it was in my pack. I could survive for a long time and be


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] With a ground pad. Ground pad's nice. They don't have modern, they don't have gore-tex. They don't have wicking, uh, wicking, poly-pro socks.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So yes, they're completely suffering, and there are times, and we've covered this with POWs too, where it's like, there's POWs that they're suffering, and they give up, and they die because of it. But Tom Deathmarch, the guy's like looking at people like, oh he's, he doesn't want to live anymore. He's gonna give up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And you're gonna get there. So yes, to your point.


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[Assistant] I think you have to accept the fact that- oh. Yeah, I can be killed.


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[Assistant] And then at the same time, I'm gonna win, and I'm gonna live. You see what I'm saying? It's like, yep. And part of the accepting that you can die is just accepting that there's things that you're out of your control. Like you might just get shot by a sniper.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You might just get hit a roadside bomb and you're dead. Those things can happen. Mortar shell comes in.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you could hit with a random mortar shell, they're just like, that's it. You're walking down the street, you didn't, look, there's times when mortars are close, I've been, I've been mortared where I could, what he's talking about, I heard the mortars going off, you could hear them thunk, and you, I've been where you could see the sparks from the mortars. And then you go, okay,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was with my buddy Johnny, we're on a rooftop, and, and the mortars come, actually I wasn't with him, he was in a different spot, but the mortars, we hear the thung, thung, thung, and Johnny comes up on the radio goes,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Having that, yup, yup, I can get killed by a random thing. And I gotta accept that. But, I'm gonna do what I can.


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[Assistant] Dude, and I think you really kinda have to just focus on the mission, cause if you focus on your own safety...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Part of your safety is the mission, but if you're like, I don't want to move right now because I might step on a landmine.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, that could be at any single step that you take. So therefore you're now not moving. So you have to be like, look, I'm gonna carry out the mission, but I'm going to accept the fact that I may die.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I know, I know for me, like I just thought, yep, I can die.


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[Assistant] That can happen. That's one of those things. And if it is, it's gonna be random.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's gonna be random, like it's gonna be a roadside bomb, it's gonna be a sniper, I'm just gonna be dead. And that's the way it is. But.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm gonna fight and I'm gonna pay attention and I'm gonna do my best to carry out my mission and we'll see what happens.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I believe that's very tough to deal with in combat. If you're, if your primary mission is your personal safety, it's, I believe that's very difficult to deal with in combat because nothing makes sense when it comes to personal safety. Like you're going outside the wire, that doesn't make sense for your personal safety. You're doing something that doesn't make sense for you to live. So speaking of comfort, it is so hot.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Back to the book. It is so hot, there is no cooling from the rain. Just clinging clothes and wetness. Everything is wet after two days of rain. Our boots are beginning to mold inside. It's hard to save anything, especially cigarettes, matches, paper. I'm losing Laura's letters almost as fast as I get them. They turn to mush in a few days.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] One side of the hole than the other. Pieces of hot steel bounce off the side of our hole, dropping on our fatigues and on the back of our hands, scorching our clothes and skin. So think about that, you're getting mortared and hot shrapnel is landing on you and burning you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A close hit makes a buzzing sound like a swarm of angry bees as shrapnel flies over our heads at the explosion of every shell. I know even as I try to squeeze myself into nothing, I know I'm going to be hit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Even as I will the next shell to land somewhere else.


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[Assistant] As I try to control my bladder and my bowels, I have to control my panic too. The urge to get away from the screaming crack of death that accompanies each exploding shell followed by buzzing knives of shrapnel is almost uncontrollable. Time is our worst enemy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The pressure gets unbearable. Logic and panic say run, get away from here and hide somewhere by yourself where the shells can't find you. We shout, we curse, we whimper.


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[Assistant] Brown and I grab and hold on to each other. Our helmets are solidly clamped together as we shout to each other and curse everyone and everything.


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[Assistant] There is no false bravery between us. We don't mind sharing our fear. In some ways I'm closer to Brown than anyone. We are closer than blood brothers.


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[Assistant] How many shells and grenades can land near us without ever landing in our hole?


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[Assistant] When the shelling finally ends, we sit up. The first thing we do is get ready to smoke. Once again, my adrenaline and fear leave us weak. My hands shake as I light my s- my pipe.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Very high into the air. So it's a high angle. So it shoots, you know, 60, 70, 80 degrees up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Which me- and then when it hits the ground and explodes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The blast goes up and away from the point of impact.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And the, if you and I were in a hole, in a foxhole, like a, like, let's say a 5x5 little hole, 6x6 little hole.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The, the mortar can hit one foot away from it and we're fine. It makes noise, we're rattled. If it goes in the hole, we're dead.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, and by the way, the way they shoot mortars, they're not a-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're not a, a, a point accuracy weapon. They're meant to, you can, it's, it's more like shooting a shotgun. Like you're going to shoot 10, 20, 30, in these cases, hundreds of rounds of artillery and mortars. So you're sitting in there and all you can do is hope.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That one of these doesn't land exactly in your hole. And if none of them land in your hole, you're fine. You're 100% fine. And if one of them lands in your hole, you're dead.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A lot of times when people think of fragmentation, maybe it's because of the word. We think of fragments, right? We think of little tiny things. We think of little tiny things like the size of your, your, your, maybe like your pinky nail. Like your, your fingernail on your pinky. Think of that's what you think of a fragment, right? I saw pieces of fragmentation.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So it's not these little like fragmentation. When you get up to 120 millimeter mortar, that thing is throwing out giant knives. Like thick, evil knives in all directions.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But sharp. And probably hot too. Totally hot and sharp. The weird part is sharp. But then again, it's like metal is ripped apart. It's not melted apart, it's ripped apart. So when you rip apart metal, it's jagged.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, you know, you've been working with sheet metal and you just cut yourself while you're working with sheet metal. It's just super sharp.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just hocking through the air. It's a freaking nightmare. And that's what these guys are putting up with. And it's, it's just hoping that this thing, and by the way, you wake up in the morning and


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, you had nine holes and two of them got hit.


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[Assistant] And you lost six guys or whatever, you lost four guys, that's what happened. And by the way, we're gonna do that again tonight.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I thought I was going to be, I thought it was going to be an ordinary day.


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[Assistant] Even though I've been shot at, shelled, and I've killed a man up close, I thought I was still a young man with a bright future. Today I became an old man. Today I began to die.


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[Assistant] Lieutenant Brown is sitting, and there's a little bit of confusion in this book because he's got Muriel Brown, who's a corporal, who's his buddy, and then there's a Lieutenant Brown, and he calls him Brown, I'll try and remember to call them either Lieutenant Brown or Corporal Brown, but.


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[Assistant] Back to the book here. Lieutenant Brown is sitting near his hole at the platoon CP.


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[Assistant] Eight other men are standing close by. Malul is one of them. We exchange nods and squat together waiting.


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[Assistant] Love Company is gonna take that hill, Lieutenant Brown, points towards hill 174. You're gonna provide supporting fire from that hill.


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[Assistant] He points to another hill, actually a knob on top of the hill, several hundred yards to our north of our position. The two hills are connected by a saddle. This is a classic cover move. So you got one element, love company is gonna actually go up the hill.


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[Assistant] We get a glimpse of Love Company in the valley. They're forming long skirmish lines in the creek beds, screened from us, screened from the North Koreans by trees and bushes. The shelling of Hill 174 ends abruptly. So that's what, that's what you're gonna do. You're gonna hit them with artillery. You know, Hill 174, you hit it with artillery and mortars. So that gets the, the enemy's heads down.


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[Assistant] That allows these guys to get in position, love company, get in position to start to assault the whole hill. And these guys are, are doing this from the supporting position, the base position. Watching and getting ready to put down gunfire.


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[Assistant] On Sergeant Larson's command, the machine gun and my BAR begin a tattoo of short bursts. We can't see the enemy troops, so we fire in the places where they've been digging near the crest of the hill. We lose sight of Love Company as they move through the trees and start to climb. Machine guns and BARs on King's Company's hill.


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[Assistant] Join in. Mortar rounds begin falling on the enemy. Smoke makes it hard to find targets. We've been firing for a few minutes when suddenly a mortar shell lands just below our position.


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[Assistant] Within a few seconds another lands above us near the top of the knob. Two shells and the North Korean mortarmen have our range. Have I explained that to you? Have I explained how you, how you, how you bracket somebody?


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[Assistant] Okay. So like I said, mortars are not a pinpoint accuracy weapon. So what you do is something called bracketing and it's, it's math. It's basically math. So I shoot one and the first one goes long.


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[Assistant] And then I'll overcompensate a little bit, the second one will go short, and the third one's gonna get you. Yea, what's it called? Bracketing. Bracketing. Bracketing.


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[Assistant] Within a few seconds, so, uh, suddenly a mortar shell lands just below our position. On the hill. Within a few seconds, another lands above us.


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[Assistant] So this is a freaking nightmare. Two shells in the North Korean mortarmen have us have our range. And by the way, a lot of times they'll range, like you'll set a mortar up and you'll, you'll make down a range card. We're like, okay, the mortar in this position, to hit the top of that hill right there, here's the settings. Yeah, yeah, it's like a,


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[Assistant] Bracketing in Battleship. The next round will almost certainly land somewhere in between. We're bracketed.


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[Assistant] It takes a good mortar squad to find the range that quickly. Shells are landing faster than I can count. The noise blasts our ears and our nerves. The angry buzz of shrapnels everywhere. And what's scary about this is, you're not supposed to be in the fight.


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[Assistant] When you're in a supporting position like this, the goal is you're just kinda out of the fight putting down suppressive fire on the enemy while the assault team moves in.


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[Assistant] There's no way we can give support to Love Company now. We can't even raise our heads to look. Somehow the North Korean Mortarmen have zeroed in on our five foxholes with pinpoint accuracy. I'll bet the enemy Mortarmen registered this knob as a possible target. That's exactly what I just said.


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[Assistant] Sergeant Larson is in a hole at the center of our position. Get out! Behind the hill! He screams over the roar of exploding shells. The men in the hole on my left scramble out and race behind the hill. Brown and I are next. We jump up and run full out behind the knob and fall to the ground.


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[Assistant] Sucking gulps of great air. Malul and Sergeant Larson should be next. The last four men run for us. One is slightly wounded. Sergeant Krauss, my squad leader, is the ranking NCO until Sergeant Larson gave it away from the mortar barrage. I guess they waited to be last. Go!


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[Assistant] Back to the company, move! Kraus waves his arm to include everybody. I turn in the direction where I expect Malul and Sergeant Larson to come from. Maybe they're waiting for a lull in the shelling. Kraus gives me a push and I trot toward our hill and the platoon's CP.


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[Assistant] I drop to the ground again and unhook my ammunition belt. I'm exhausted and still trying to catch my breath. I watch for Malul. The shelling stops. Malul and Larson should be in sight.


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[Assistant] Sergeant Krauss squats in front of me. He knows that Malool and I are our friends. Malool and Larsen won't be coming. They're dead.


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[Assistant] Krause puts his hand to my chest to hold me back. Krause's hand is shaking and his voice quivers as he leans against my chest. A shell must have landed right in front of him as they stood up. There's nothing left.


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[Assistant] My brain seems to explode. I jump to my feet. I have to get him. We can't leave him out there. Soreson and Gerrity grabbed me.


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[Assistant] Their arms tighten and the heart embraces I struggle. Both of them shout something in my ears, but I don't know what it is. I roar my anger and grief from deep in my soul as I slip toward the edge of madness. They hold me until I quit struggling. Malul, my friend. I don't know when the firing on Hill 174 stops.


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[Assistant] I sit on the ground surrounded by Garrity Brown and Old Man. Old Man is a South Korean soldier that's with them.


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[Assistant] I don't know what I feel other than my chest hurts and my throat is dry. Just before dark a detail is sent to get Malul and Sergeant Larson. I get up to help. Garrity and Brown hold me again. Malul is gone.


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[Assistant] He was a hard-nosed 18 year old kid molded by the streets. He wanted everyone to believe he was tough. He was somber and pessimistic most of the time, but he had bloomed like a rose this spring when he fell in love with a girl from Pueblo named Wanda. Laura and I had double dated with them.


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[Assistant] We've had even introduced that city boy to horseback riding. It's getting dark. It's raining. Artie is shelling the gooks on hill 174. Damn you, Malul. What am I going to tell your mother?


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[Assistant] 15 September 1950, Love Company's attack failed. They had heavy casualties. I don't remember much about last night, except that Malul is dead. I think I was in some kind of shock. I feel different. I feel as if I'll never laugh again.


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[Assistant] Or maybe I feel as if there will never be anything to laugh about.


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[Assistant] Malul, Ike, Garrity and I have been in the same platoon since we joined the army.


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[Assistant] I think he felt about his girl in Pueblo the way I feel about my Laura. And oh, how he loved his mother. Now he's gone.


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[Assistant] Sergeant Finner reminds us to clean our weapons and get more ammo and grenades at the CP. This afternoon, King Company will get its turn trying to take Hill 174.


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[Assistant] So you watch Love Company. You see them take massive casualties. You see them fail to take the hill. And what are you doing the next night? You're going to go try and take that hill.


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[Assistant] We move and fast forward. They move towards this, uh, starting point. Same thing. Heading to the hill. The artillery stops. The hill is just mud from the rain.


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[Assistant] And they get there. There is no sign of life at the top of the hill. There's still hope. Maybe the enemy has been hurt enough in the bombardments and fighting for this hill that they have just given up. Maybe the artillery and mortars have killed most of them.


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[Assistant] Then the first enemy mortar shell lands about halfway down the hill and I know it's gonna be a fight. Shells fall faster. The explosions shake the ground and shrapnel buzzes around us. Some bigger pieces zip by. They ping on rockets and helmets and splat in the flesh and mud.


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[Assistant] A piece of, a piece ricochets off my helmet and rings like a high pitched bell in my ears. Our skirmish line disappears. I lose brown and old man.


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[Assistant] We soon become small clusters of men trying to stay alive by staying close to someone else who is still alive. Every time we rush forward to a tree or rock we leave behind men. Some are dead and some are wounded.


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[Assistant] A few just quit and decide to stay where they are. The South Koreans fall behind, confused and totally out of it. We keep slipping and falling. Mud jams our weapons. Oh god, I'm scared.


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[Assistant] Don't go too fast. Stay in line so we get together. I hear whoever is near.


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[Assistant] The knot in my stomach is going to drag me down to the ground.


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[Assistant] There's the first grenade. Did it, did it get anybody? Our mortars have quit. Now they're gonna come out of their holes and spray us like bugs. There's one, he's throwing a grenade. Shoot, kill him. My god, look at them. Fire, fire, fire. Hit the dirt.


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[Assistant] The only part of the enemy we can see is their arms as they loft grenades up and away from their positions. They throw them as soon as they have armed them. By the time the grenade rolls down the hill it explodes among us. Machine gun fire. Hand grenades exploding. I wet myself. Bullets zipping. A thump. The guy on my left is hit. Stay down.


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[Assistant] They've quit climbing and are laying nearly at the bottom of the hill. They began shooting over our heads. What are those crazy gooks doing? They'll kill us all. Get up here and fight. Get up here! I shout as I wave my arm. They ignore me. Shrapnel buzzes. Bullets zipped.


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[Assistant] My BAR jams. I've let mud get in the receiver. I lay on my side kicking the bolt with the side of my foot. Garrity is having to do the same with his M1. Kick the bolt, fire, kick, fire.


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[Assistant] I dig my pouch for a grenade. I have to stand so I can get enough power in my throat to get it past the mound of rocks and dirt that is the enemy's breast work.


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[Assistant] We don't want it to come rolling back down on us. I pull the pin, release the handle, and push myself up on one knee. The grenade has a seven second delay fuse. After I count four seconds, I put all my strength into the straight arm throw that seems to work best for me.


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[Assistant] Couple yards farther to the right are Sergeant Finner and Lieutenant Brown. I reach over Garrity and hit Sorenson's leg.


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[Assistant] I reach over Garrity and shake Sorenson's boot. He doesn't move. I shout again, this time to Garrity. Garrity! Tell Sorenson, Garrity is cursing his rifle as he pushes it down towards his foot so he can cook the bolt. You!


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[Assistant] I hear a pop in the side of Gerrity's head erupts.


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[Assistant] It erupts all over me. His brains and blood cover my face and glasses. I can't see anything. I pull my glasses off. There are pink and red splotches all over my glasses and my shoulder. I wipe with my, I wipe my face with my hand. It's all over me. Oh God, no. Gary's dead.


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[Assistant] I could see men to my left running down the hill toward the stream and the trees. I raise up to take one more look around. I know Garrity's dead. No one near me is moving. I start down the hill angling to the left to find the company. I find Ike and Brown in the woods. Let's go! I yell. They're all dead up there!


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[Assistant] Ike and I are passing on the other side of a man shot through the neck. We don't say a word as we scoop him up and drape his arms over our shoulders. Into the gully! Run! There's a big drop!


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[Assistant] We jump off a six foot drop and land on the run and keep going toward the creek. We hide behind the bank. Bullets make small eruptions in the wet earth or sing off rocks in the air. Branches fall. We run down the stream bed. Several GIs stop us under a bridge and relieve us of the wounded man. A bridge.


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[Assistant] I can't get my breath. My heart's going to pound out of my chest. My head hurts. I fall into grass growing in the stream bed. I'm too tired to move. I think I'm gonna be sick. Oh god, am I still alive? Was I a coward? Would the rest have stayed if I did?


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[Assistant] The sun sets behind hill 174. I sit in a hole in the forward slope of the hill we started from.


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[Assistant] I don't remember how I got here. I have my BAR and a few grenades. My homemade is the old man.


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[Assistant] My mind slows, slowly works through a fog of exhaustion. I hope I'm dreaming.


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[Assistant] King Company didn't take Hail 174. I know of two dead and at least two wounded in our squad of nine.


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[Assistant] Three of five close friends are dead. Everyone in the headquarters section of our platoon is dead. Casualties are so heavy, only the front flanks of our hill are manned. Most of our new South Korean fellow soldiers survived.


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[Assistant] Each GI is paired with a South Korean for the night. My position is at the left end of the forward slope. The hole to my left is empty. All the holes on the backside of the hill are empty. There just aren't enough men to cover the backside of that hill. I think nearly half of the company is gone.


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[Assistant] If the North Koreans get behind us tonight, we'll just have to fight back to back.


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[Assistant] I'm angry and afraid. I'm about to lose my mind. The men I trusted have been taken from me.


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[Assistant] I grieve for our man and for myself. How many more of my friends are gone? I shiver with cold, fatigue, and fear. I don't expect any of us to live through the night. It will be the longest night of my life.


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[Assistant] I have to. I said I wouldn't unless I was safe, but I must concentrate on her now or I'll lose my mind.


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[Assistant] Fear and despair nearly overcome me. There's nothing I can do to save myself. Shivering with cold and fear, I begin shaking all over. I'm sure that I'll be dead before morning. I don't think I can stay awake and I'm convinced the North Koreans will attack or infiltrate our positions and cut our throats.


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[Assistant] Cause it didn't work what we just did. Just doing it again, doesn't seem like the greatest call.


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[Assistant] And obviously it doesn't work out well. And now they've lost even more guys. And now here they are.


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[Assistant] Going back to the book, the night has been so long, it has been, it has to be near dawn. And by the way, the name of this book is Waiting for the Blessed Light of Dawn. The way this war went, the


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[Assistant] The communists would attack at night and the Americans would attack in the day. That's the way the war was. I think I actually messed that up when I said we're gonna attack the hill tonight. The Americans are doing daytime attack and the enemy is doing nighttime attack. So going back to the book.


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[Assistant] The night has been so long, it has to be near dawn. I chew tobacco and rub the juice into my eyes. The pain is terrible. I hope it will keep me awake. It won't matter if I ruin my eyes, especially if I'm dead.


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[Assistant] I make a bargain with God. It's a bargain I repeat over and over again. Lord, please let me live. If you let me live through this night, I'll do anything. I'll be good for the rest of my life. I know I'm praying like a child but I have nothing else to offer God.


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[Assistant] Even though I think that the prayer many times, even though I think that prayer many times, I'm convinced I'm going to have to shoot myself in the foot to help God save me.


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[Assistant] I will claim an accident and be taken away from this forever.


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[Assistant] Even as I make that decision, I worry that I might cut an artery and not be able to stop the bleeding. There's little chance for a medic to come to me in the dark, but how else am I going to get out of here? Other men have done it.


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[Assistant] I don't know for certain which were accidents and which were deliberate. One of my friends walked into a bayonet.


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[Assistant] His leg was cut so badly, he was sent home.


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[Assistant] A GI in another platoon shot himself through both legs with his .45 caliber pistol.


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[Assistant] If that wasn't an accident, he was real stupid. He's gonna be a cripple, maybe even an amputee. Another guy dropped a large rock on his foot.


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[Assistant] I'm sure he did it on purpose because he told me when we sh- when we were still aboard the ship, on the day I made corporal, that as soon as he made corporal, he was going to figure out a way to get home. He made corporal a few days before he crushed his foot. I thought of another person who was a friend.


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[Assistant] Bergstrom and I had been together since basic training, two years. We were in the same squad.


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[Assistant] As we lined up in the creek bed, ready to attack Hill 174, he fell on his knees. He cried. He claimed he couldn't climb. He couldn't even stand.


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[Assistant] I watched with disgust and fear as Sergeant Finner demanded that he stand and do his duty. Bergstrom hunkered lower and lower.


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[Assistant] His helmet touched the ground as he cried and rocked on his knees, begging Sergeant Finner not to make him climb the hill. For a few seconds, I thought Sergeant Finner was gonna shoot him.


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[Assistant] The attack was starting. Lieutenant Brown was supposed to lead the platoon and Finner was supposed to push from the rear. Our platoon leader started up the hill. The rest of us, except for Bergstrom, followed him.


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[Assistant] In the hell of that afternoon and evening I forgot Bergstrom.


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[Assistant] Brown came to my hold just before dark to check if I was alright. He told me that Bergstrom had been taken to Captain Kerfman. He begged the captain not to put him back on the hill. He was sent to work with the mess crew.


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[Assistant] It makes all the fun we had together and all the work we did together seem fake, a show, useless somehow. He wasn't really our buddy, he wasn't even our friend.


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[Assistant] All that passed between us is no longer has any value. All those men dead. Every one of them better than Bergstrom. I trusted him.


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[Assistant] He was included in all of the platoon's activities, on duty and off. He was one of us, trained to fight and taught to protect his buddies. But when the chips were down, he had failed me and everyone in the platoon.


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[Assistant] He broke the cord that binds us together. He broke the cord when it had to be its strongest in combat.


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[Assistant] Look at the friends I've lost. Bergstrom got away with it. Maybe I can.


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[Assistant] Ideas race in and out of my head. As fast as one forms, I reject it. Another one takes place. I point the barrel of my BAR at my foot.


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[Assistant] I know better than to use my 45. It will blow most of my foot away. Just before I pull the trigger, I decide to wait a while until more time has passed and it's closer to dawn. I watch and listen. Old man sleeps on the corner of his, the hole.


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[Assistant] Occasional shells fall on hill 174. They're meant to harass the North Koreans, but they're probably more successful at keeping us, keeping me jumping awake.


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[Assistant] I stand in my hole turning this way and that, as it sounds real and imagined, I set my BAR in front of me prepared to fight. Then as fear blots out reason, I rested on my foot, determined that I've got a round through my foot, that a round through my foot is my only chance to live.


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[Assistant] I decide to wait until sunrise when I know I can be evacuated.


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[Assistant] For some reason the dawn or the brain jarring noise or my own inability to hurt myself caused me to forget about deliberately shooting myself. Maybe it's all those dead men. I can't be like Bergstrom.


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[Assistant] I have to go on like my buddies would have if I were dead, and they weren't. Of nine men in my squad, only four left.


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[Assistant] I still think I'm going to die. In fact, I believe we are all going to die. We'll be sent uphill 174 again and again until every one of us is dead in the mud.


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[Assistant] That's the level. And, and you know what's interesting is there's a whole section in About Face where Hackworth's thinking about doing the same thing. Like, I just want to get out of here.


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[Assistant] I think Hackworth was digging a hole to toss a grenade into so he could partially wound himself and he spends all night digging this hole in his foxhole like a little, a little depression that he's carving into his foxhole so he can wound himself and not


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[Assistant] Kill himself, but get out of there. Spends all night doing it. It's the same, it's almost the exact same story. Because in the morning when the sun comes up, he's like, alright.


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[Assistant] It's also, I found it very interesting the way he's, spends, whatever, two paragraphs talking about hating Bergstrom.


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[Assistant] Then they napalm it. Then artillery strikes takes over again. We watch in awe and fear as the pounding continues hour after hour. As night falls, there is no let up. Brown and I have decided to take turns standing guard. He will be awake in his hole at the same time my home mate is supposed to be on guard.


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[Assistant] He had trouble keeping his Korean buddy awake too. Every time I wake I find old man sleeping. Hitting or kicking him awake is the routine now. I don't enjoy it a bit. I'm not even angry anymore. But I can't let him or the rest of the Koreans think that they can sleep on guard at any other time like they feel like. I pound him awake again.


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[Assistant] I'm beginning to have mixed feelings about the rest of the day though. The North Koreans usually come out us after dark, so the night is a continuous terror even as we wait for them.


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[Assistant] We attack in the daytime, so that's when we prepare to die.


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[Assistant] If we're lucky enough to live through the day, we have to prepare once again for the night with its terror.


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[Assistant] The shelling of Hill 174 continues. We move around with our heads between our shoulders waiting for the next explosion.


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[Assistant] A short round in the valley or on the holes of the forward slope of our hill sends a scrambling for our holes. It's about noon. We've just been told to pack up. We're moving out. I knew it.


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[Assistant] We're going to join our dead friends on that steep bloody hill. Item Company tried it. Love Company lost half its men on Hill 174.


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[Assistant] We tried it and failed. There have been at least seven separate company assaults. Now King Company is going to try again.


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[Assistant] Six green kids lay on that cargo hatch a few days from war. Three weeks and four firefights later, three of the six are dead. What chance have the survivors got?


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[Assistant] I climb bathed in sweat while my teeth chatter as if I'm freezing. There's no sound or movement from the crest of the hill. All I can hear is our labored breathing and an occasional curse from someone losing his footing in the mud. 15 minutes later, we're on top of hill 174.


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[Assistant] As I climb over the bank of dirt and rock the enemy built, I enter a world of unbelievable slaughter.


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[Assistant] The sickly sweet smell of roasted human flesh fills my nostrils.


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[Assistant] How much more are we going to live through before we go mad? Our brains have trouble accepting the way what our eyes see, but we're unable to look away. We stand and stare.


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[Assistant] As I get close to the bodies of my friends and our platoon sergeant, I think I'm going to be sick. All three bodies have been stripped of some of their clothing.


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[Assistant] Their weapons and boots are gone. I take a deep breath and look closer. Maggots are working their wounds.


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[Assistant] Our platoon leader isn't with the rest of the dead. Where's Lieutenant Brown? I croak. He was right over there.


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[Assistant] I point with a shaking finger. He's alive. He was found when they were checking the body, Sergeant Fiske says quietly.


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[Assistant] Oh no, another mistake. I was the ranking unwounded man in the area and I panicked. I should have crawled over Sorenson and checked Sergeant Finner and Lieutenant Brown. I should have checked each man before I bugged out. A wounded man was left alive on that hill for two days.


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[Assistant] He'd lived through that terrible bombardment, the shells and the flames.


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[Assistant] Had some of the others been alive when I ran down the hill to safety?


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[Assistant] Sergeant Fisk continues, We don't know who these other are. Who these other are. Their dog tags are gone. My legs feel rubbery, so I squat down a few feet uphill from Garrity and Sorenson.


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[Assistant] Most of Gerrity's face is gone. I can tell that the other body is gray. The other body with the gray face is Sorensen.


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[Assistant] That's Sergeant Finner, I explained patiently, pointing to the body on the left. That's Sorensen in the middle. That's Garrity.


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[Assistant] I point to each body in turn. It's hard to breathe. Something sour and green is rising up deep inside me. I feel like light headed again.


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[Assistant] They'll all have to be listed as missing. They can't be identified. Sergeant Fisk turns away. I can identify them, Sergeant. I cry as he turns back and starts up the hill.


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[Assistant] I begin pleading as if I'm begging for their lives. I point at the sickening body without a face that had been my friend. Sergeant, I can identify Garrity. He was talking to me when he got hit. This is his blood all over my jacket. I pull at my brown spouted lapel.


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[Assistant] I want to say brains, but it won't come out. My voice is rising. I'm breathing faster. I want to grab First Sergeant and shake him. I want to make him believe me for my sake as much as theirs. I was there when they died. Sergeant, this is PFC Garrity. We were together a long time. We were buddies.


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[Assistant] My voice is nearly burned away by the raw juices that rise from my stomach and spill over into my throat. His hands drop to his side if you can get an officer to identify the bodies that we listed as killed in action. Otherwise, they're missing.


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[Assistant] And enjoy being with our friends until I was discharged. Then to Texas and our wonderful future.


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[Assistant] Now we're separated by a half a world, and I'm no longer an insecure boy. Now, I'm a frightened, tired, filthy, soul-sick killer who's been seen, who has seen most of his friends die, and is convinced that he is going to die too.


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[Assistant] So I mentioned that when we started that landing at Inchon took place and he was obviously in the midst of that and starts hearing rumors of that happening. And uhm, they start to move.


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[Assistant] Thankfully, once they take that hill and they've taken all those casualties, they start to move. I'm gonna fast forward a little bit. He says, We are now part of a flying column racing towards Seoul to link up with the Marines in the 7th Division pushing south from Seoul. A layer of filth is accumulating on my body.


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[Assistant] My skin is dried and cracked. Every crevice is filled with dirt. Not just dust, but black dirt mixed with body oil and sweat. I don't shave or wash very often. Water is too precious. Sores have appeared wherever my clothes or equipment rubs against my skin.


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[Assistant] My feet are blistered. I change socks as often as I can, but I have to use the same two pair over and over. They are stiff and dirty because I can't wash them.


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[Assistant] When it rains, both pair get wet. Finally the socks begin to disintegrate. The ulcer on my right ankle has eaten its way down to the bone. I pack it with toilet paper. Dust now adds to my misery.


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[Assistant] Like, I have, since I retired from the military, I have only worn a pair of socks for one day.


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[Assistant] And by the way, when I'm wearing socks, I'm like going to the airport, talking to someone.


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[Assistant] He's got, he's got two pairs of socks. He's two months deep right now.


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[Assistant] I walk over to look, curiosity and I hope caring bring me and the others to the edge of the ditch. None of the bodies have boots or dog tags. They are lying close to each other and even on top of one another. Someone leans down as he realized these are not ordinary casualties. My god, these guys have their hands tied behind their backs.


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[Assistant] Men soon lie in the ditch. Each of the skeletons has communication wire tied around his wrists. They've been shot in various places. Some probably died slowly.


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[Assistant] Damn them. I'll get an officer. Brown growls as he turns away. As we drive northward many American dead are found. There are many


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[Assistant] There may have been hundreds who surrendered and were shot after being tied.


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[Assistant] We bounce along on our tanks or trucks and curse the enemy. How could they do that? That's cold-blooded murder. They didn't have a chance. They must have thought they were safe with their hands tied. It didn't look like any of them even tried to run.


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[Assistant] One by one we offer an opinion and even try to devise reasons for what we've seen. I guess they couldn't decide what to do with our guys. Maybe there was only one gook on guard and he panicked. Sure, sure. Those guys were real dangerous like that. Tied up.


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[Assistant] They don't plan to take prisoners. Well, I'm not taking prisoners either. No prisoners. Hell no.


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[Assistant] You execute a bunch of our soldiers, it's not gonna go well for you either.


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[Assistant] 27 September 1950, one day at a time, I'm becoming a different person.


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[Assistant] Huge shower tents are waiting for us. We line up in platoon formation and wait. This time we don't mind. We lay against our packs, smoke, write letters, nap, do nothing, and try to believe we don't have to worry about mortars, snipers, or attacks. I can't believe what I'm seeing. I'm under a roof for the first time in weeks.


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[Assistant] So what if it's canvas? Pipes are tied just above head height and shower heads placed at intervals in the pipe.


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[Assistant] I shed all my clothes near the door. I look at my body and get the shock of my life. I've lost a lot of weight but more frightening is the condition of my skin. My feet are covered with blisters. My right ankle has a large, infected ulcer, oozing pus. I can see the white of my bones.


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[Assistant] Both legs are covered with open ulcers between my ankles and knees. The rest of my skin is layered with crust of dirt, body oils and sweat. Every crack and crevice is filled with oil filth.


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[Assistant] Oily filth. There are raw spots wherever my clothes or harness rub against my skin. My broken glasses are gouging a hole in my nose. The sun has blackened my head, neck, and hands.


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[Assistant] I wait in line with my fellow scarecrows, clutching my razor and soap, soap standing behind and in front of men, in front of me are men who look enough like me to be my twin.


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[Assistant] Once I get used to the sting of soap and water on my skin, I scrub with my rough hands until most of the dirt has flowed from my body and through the pallet floor. I allow enough, enough hot water, yes hot water, to wash away some of the fatigue, fear, and grief.


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[Assistant] On leaving the shower tent, we enter another tent where we are allowed to choose clothes and replace the rotting mess we dropped when we entered. Clean clothes, new clothes, two pair of clean socks, what more could we ask for?


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[Assistant] Before this day of miracles ends, we have mail call, sick call, and two hot meals.


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[Assistant] Heading back out into the field. They're back out in the field now. I'm fast forwarding. Somehow a few replacements catch up with us. So as you're losing guys, you're getting replacements. These are new guys that have no idea what's going on.


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[Assistant] I'm given fourth squad. I'm promoted to sergeant, or I'll be promoted sergeant. I'm glad for the promotion, but I'm happy, but I'm not too happy about the added responsibility. I'll miss living with Brown. So he's not talking about Lieutenant Brown. He's talking about his buddy Brown. We were a good team. Brown and I found that we could depend on each other no matter what's happening.


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[Assistant] It's going to be tough not to have Brown's strong back and heart to help me through the tough times.


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[Assistant] When possible, I cleaned her morning and evening. I kept her muzzle covered and sheltered from hot weather or from the weather. I slept with one hand on her stock or held her in my arms.


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[Assistant] I can disassemble and assemble her in the dark. As the most essential things I carry, I have a pocket, I have in my pocket small pieces of rag and a can of oil to keep her bright and oiled inside and out. She was always ready to do her duty when I needed her. The only time she failed me was when I allowed mud to get into a receiver. I vowed never again to let any of my weapons malfunction because of dirt.


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[Assistant] Even though my 45 saved my life, I never felt the same way I did about my BAR. Brown will take good care of her. So Brown used to be his assistant gunner, now Brown's the main gunner.


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[Assistant] Do an assault across a river. And again, there's a bunch of other really good stuff.


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[Assistant] Maybe we can get some kind of a situation going with this book to get some copies made or something.


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[Assistant] So people can read it, the rest of it. Uh, so they do this assault across a river. Boats bump into each other. Men curse. Now and then there's yelling as a boat capsizes. We're wet, cold, and scared. There's nothing to do but keep paddling and praying. As soon as we feel the boat hit the bank on the other north side of the river, we leap into the water and slam into a bluff.


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[Assistant] No shooting greets us. We set up the machine gun and wait for dawn. As usual, dawn and ground fog came at the same time. When the fog lifts, we find that platoons and even companies are mixed together. Some GIs never made it to shore. We had no life jackets. Most of the men who were thrown into the water were pulled down by the weight of their equipment and drowned in the flooding river.


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[Assistant] 17 October, 1950. I spent most of today, my birthday, huddled in the corner of a truck.


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[Assistant] If I can stay out of any more firefights, I might make it home. The days are getting shorter and the weather is getting much colder. We roar northward in a single column of tanks and trucks. The cold air is enough that we have to take turns sitting on the floor of the truck out of the full force of the wind. When we rotate to ride the tanks, we take turns riding over the engine in the rear.


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[Assistant] And again, we always hear about the Korean Cold and it's starting to come. It's now October.


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[Assistant] Fast forward a little bit more, 25 October 1950, we've been in this war for only two months, but it seems like I've been here all my life. Today, the third battalion will have a memorial service for all the men who have been killed or are missing.


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[Assistant] We stand in a block in company front formation as our battalion commander, Colonel Tracy, speaks of the men we have lost. The mimeographed program for the service has the full names of all the men killed or missing since we went on the line 25 August. We have lost 52 men killed and missing.


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[Assistant] Of approximately 900 who boarded the general pope in early August. Colonel Tracy reads the name of everyone.


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[Assistant] I'm glad to hear the names of Garrity, Malul, and Sorenson.


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[Assistant] At least they are being counted as having been in the fight, but I'm still mad at them listed as missing when I know they're dead. Someone must have identified Sergeant Finner. He is now listed as dead. At least his wife won't have to spend her years wondering if her husband is dead or a prisoner.


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[Assistant] King Company has lost 13 killed and three men missing. Just looking around at the company, I guess we have 60 to 80 wounded men. That's 35 to 45% of casualties for King Company alone. That's what two months of war has done to us.


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[Assistant] The major rumor for a week or so has been Tokyo by Thanksgiving, home by Christmas. We even heard that there were troop ships waiting to take us to Japan. Yeah.


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[Assistant] And by the way, I didn't fast forward at all. It just says like, today we're getting a rumor that we're going to be home by Christmas, the next day.


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[Assistant] You have one day of good rumors. Next day. All of our hopes have suddenly come crashing down. Rumors have made a complete about face. We are hearing that divisions of Chinese troops are hitting the rocks on the right flank. These


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[Assistant] These are full divisions of fresh Chinese communist troops. At least one full field army attacking with plenty of artillery and mortar support. They rolled right over the ROK divisions.


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[Assistant] One day you think you're gonna be home by Thanksgiving. Next day, you don't even know when the end is coming.


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[Assistant] Fast forward. So they go, they head up north and they're back in the fight. This is our second night on this hill. We've had time to dig in past the frost line. Our holes are deep. We even found rice stalks and some sheds near the road. They make good insulation. Suddenly we hear a few notes from a bugle.


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[Assistant] It's late enough that we're beginning to feel the cold. We're 50% alert. Some of the men who aren't on guard have crawled into their sacks. One of our strict rules that no one fights while he's in his sack, I whisper up and down the perimeter for everyone to crawl out of his sack. We hear another bugle call. Those few notes.


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[Assistant] Which we begin to hear from several points of the compass, raises the hair on my necks, on my neck. The call sounds exactly like the first notes of taps. The echoes from the surrounding hills don't help.


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[Assistant] They seem to be calling each other. I grip my weapon tighter. All the trembling of my knees isn't from the cold. Then we see our new enemy.


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[Assistant] They come on foot over the bridge and on both sides of the road. Some of them wade across the river into the white field below the hill. At first there's only one rank. They aren't in a perfect line of skirmishers, but pretty much one line of men. Whistles are used to direct the men in line.


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[Assistant] Then a second line appears, 10 or 15 yards behind the first. As they partially dress their ranks after scrambling out of the river and crossing the bridge, a third rank appears.


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[Assistant] There's still only dark shapes moving at a rapid walk across the snow-dusted patty toward our hill. Their nomcoms blow whistles, and they break into a trot. Hold your fire, Lieutenant Hopkins yells.


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[Assistant] No fear in his voice will let them know that we are here, where we are. No fear in his voice will let them know where we are. This is definitely not a probe or a patrol. They are coming for us.


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[Assistant] Yeah, so you got Lieutenant Hopkins, like, tell them don't fire, and he doesn't even care that they can hear him, because they're coming.


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[Assistant] Some of our squad's holes face the road and some face the field on the river. All the men in my squad can hear me, but I yell for the new men. I yell several times, HOLD IT! WAIT!


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[Assistant] Sarge, we can't wait. They're almost here. Wait. Rank after rank of the enemy appears out of the darkness of the riverbed. They trot across the bridge and spread out across the road and ditches.


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[Assistant] As the howitzers and mortars fire for effect, larger gaps appear in their ranks. The recently quiet night erupts into sound.


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[Assistant] It's impossible not to flinch. Suddenly we're peppered with grenades. The lieutenant let them get too close. Everyone is yelling. The first rank of Chinese melts into the snow as every gun on the hill fires and they walk into our hand grenade zone. Our machine gun cuts through the second rank.


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[Assistant] Thinning it out. Whirlwind, that's a guy's name. Whirlwind tries to keep his bursts to a few seconds, but when he does, several of them get close enough to pitch grenades, he


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[Assistant] He has plenty of ammo, but I know the machine gun barrel must be getting hot. Riley's gonna have to rub the barrel with snow. He'll have to expose himself.


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[Assistant] And I'm sure the snow isn't good for the temper of the barrel. We have a replacement barrel, but this is obviously not the time to change it. I wish somebody else had these responsibilities. I try to match the rhythm of firing


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[Assistant] To two or three of the down Chinese to find a grenade. Most of the men in the second rank have rifles, but it looks like the first rank is armed only with hand grenades.


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[Assistant] At least they don't have rifles. It's crazy. The third rank stops to pick up the rifles and grenades from the dead and wounded in the first two ranks. Scattered in every rank are men with burp guns.


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[Assistant] These may be non-coms. I make a special effort to kill them. Maybe it's not a nice thing to do, but we are going to have to use every trick we can to keep from being overrun. Our mortar shells begin to creep up the hill toward us.


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[Assistant] As our mortar men adjusted their fire as close to our positions as they dare, every once in a while shrapnel zings off past me or splats in the dirt around my hole.


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[Assistant] Whistles blow and the surviving Chinese turn and run down the hill through the exploding mortar and artillery shells. We keep firing until our only targets are dark shadows lying on the snow.


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[Assistant] The artillery concentrates on the bridge as the enemy survivors are funneled into the road where they make a juicy target.


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[Assistant] The bodies begin to pile up where the road and bridge meet. A few more minutes and the bridge is jammed full of dead and dying Chinese. I cringe as I watch the slaughter. I pull my gaze away. I have to warn my men to watch the bodies of the CHICOMs lying in front of us. I want to make sure none of them are shot by wounded Chinese.


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[Assistant] So that's the first time that he sees the legitimate Chinese army coming in. The red army. And they're coming in with ranks and the first guys don't even, they just have grenades.


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[Assistant] And the second guys, some of them have machine guns. But they're basically just picking up the weapons of the guys in front of them that they know are gonna die.


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[Assistant] Some language in there. He's, you know, he's the term gooks. I know I've talked about that term before and you're going to hear the term chinks. These are the words that they use to describe the enemy in the book. I understand they're not the most politically correct terminology, but that's what that's what that's the way it's written and that's why I'm reading it. 13 November 1950.


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[Assistant] Day after day we move from hill to hill. We are thrown into areas where the rock troops have retreated or have been wiped out, levying roads from the west and northwest open all the way.


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[Assistant] Night after night we wait for the Chinese to come charging out of the dark frozen mist. The Chinese hit us again and again. They used the same tactics as they did at the bridge. They hit at night with rank after rank of men charging our positions trying to overwhelm.


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[Assistant] Tonight, probably the coldest so far, we are preparing for another human wave attack. I've been preparing like this every night for about two weeks.


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[Assistant] I try to make sure all the men in my squad carry as much ammo as possible. I have always worried about the possibility of running out of ammo. We've heard stories of firefights ending with bayonets and even sticks and rocks.


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[Assistant] It starts with bugles. They might quite, quite a production as bugles answer bugle over and over. That's, that sounds like freaking scary, right?


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[Assistant] Tan figures walk onto the ice of the river, frozen river and trot across the field. Our mortars don't wait until the enemy is coming up the hill. They hit them as they come out of the river. I don't hear artillery tonight. Fire missions elsewhere I guess. Our mortar men drop shells down on the tubes as fast as they can. I hope they have plenty of shells.


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[Assistant] It sounds as if the entire perimeter is being hit. The chinks are really determined to break through tonight. We all began screaming.


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[Assistant] Hard as we try, they aren't, there aren't enough of us to out scream the Chinese. It's hard not to give into the impulse to crouch in a corner and cry for someone to save us. There is no let up. As soon as one group or a part of a rank is cut down, another rank takes its place. I get down on my knees, resting my elbows on the snow. I'm shaking from cold fear and excitement. They're coming at so fast we can't get them all.


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[Assistant] I fire sending him spinning away. He comes within inches of falling into Collins and Harris' hole before he rolls down the hill. I look back to my left. A Chinese soldier armed with a rifle is already past the machine gun hole and is turning to get behind it. I can't fire. I might hit Whirlwind or Riley.


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[Assistant] I jump up on the seat I dug in one end of my hole. I'm a good runner and a good jumper. I can clear fences high as my waist without touching them. It's easy to jump out of my hole. I easily clear the dirt and snow piled around it. I land exactly right. My bayonet is pointed at his back.


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[Assistant] I make a short hop to be sure I can put the full strength of my arms and shoulders behind my thrust. He is about to shoot Riley at point blank range. He must have caught my movement out of the corner of his eye. He turns toward me. I hit him just below his breast. Between the two of us we drive the bayonet to the hilt. I step back but the bayonet doesn't pull free.


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[Assistant] My feet are slipping in the snow. Teetering on the edge of panic, I lean back as the Chicom drops his rifle and reaches for the bayonet with both hands. I pull the trigger.


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[Assistant] The bayonet comes free with the rifle's recoil. I drop to the ground. After looking at him long enough to be sure he's dead, I roll over in the snow and slide into my hole.


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[Assistant] Whatever rank is being cut down, it must be the one the attackers decide is enough.


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[Assistant] One more grenade from me and they're out of my arm range. We keep firing as long as we can see their dark forms moving on the snow. I no longer have the feeling that it is quite sporting to kill, that it isn't quite sporting to kill the enemy after he breaks off action. The mortars put another curtain of steel between the survivors and the safety of the riverbed.


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[Assistant] 17 November 1950, I receive a letter from Laura. She says she is definitely pregnant.


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[Assistant] She has mentioned the possibility before, but now she is sure. I've spread the news all through the company. I can't stop talking and thinking about it. I've got to keep on my toes. I'm determined to make it out of this mess. I can't let myself get so low I lose the drive to live like when I nearly froze in the rain.


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[Assistant] I can't do some fool thing and get shot or let myself be captured. But I know there are so many things I can't control. I've gotta keep being as careful as I can.


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[Assistant] Fast forward, we ride day after day toward the south, leapfrogging through other units. Most nights we stop, set up a perimeter across the road or on one side. Units north of us move through us the next day. We mount up and move again. We make the refugees stay out of our perimeter, no exception.


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[Assistant] Right now they're heading south. 24 December 1950. Christmas is truly a time for miracle. Our platoon doesn't have to be on the line tonight. And we have also been given the great luxury of sleeping in a house. Lieutenant Hopkins somehow saved a bottle of whiskey.


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[Assistant] The lieutenant proposes a toast. Here is to our mothers and fathers, our wives and children, to those who got them and those who ain't, but wish they had. Then he pauses and adds, here's to us, here's to victory. Kinda feels like a feel-good toast.


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[Assistant] But that's what we're here for. We need some Christmas cheer. I didn't know if the feel good toast was a thing back then.


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[Assistant] To cap off this warm glow of a special evening, Lieutenant Hopkins reads a letter he has from Lieutenant Brown. Hopkins and Brown.


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[Assistant] We're classmates at West Point, and again, now this is the lieutenant, this is the guy that


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[Assistant] He thought was killed on the attack of the hill and left him there and then it turns out that he had been medevaced. Lieutenant Brown says he is doing well. Doctors saved his leg. The doctors decided that maggots eating the dead flesh of his wounds almost certainly saved his leg and possibly his life from gangrene.


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[Assistant] Lieutenant Brown writes that he thought I was KIA on Hill 174.


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[Assistant] My tears flow as I think about that terrible day and the mistake I held on, I made on Hill 174. I can't tell the lieutenant, I can't tell Lieutenant Hopkins about it. Then I wonder, would either of us have gotten off that hill if I tried to take him with me?


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[Assistant] Few days go by. Ten days go by, fast forward. For January 1951, the Chinese started their New Year offensive several days ago for some reason unknown to us.


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[Assistant] At the bottom of the regimental information ladder, our battalion was taking lock stock and winter underwear to a mountain pass southeast of Seoul.


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[Assistant] I don't know what the elevation is, but I'm certain these are the highest mountains we've been on. The evening we arrived at the summit of the pass, the temperature as registered on a long thermometer attached to a Jeep was minus 42 degrees.


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[Assistant] Now, last year at Christmas, I had the luxury of being in Montana and experiencing, it was like between negative 30 and negative 40.


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[Assistant] I'm like going outside for seven minutes, you know, to go and grab something and come back inside.


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[Assistant] Shelter of some kind. Like if you're just in clothes. Yeah.


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[Assistant] If you're just in close, and I guess you could, maybe there's some extreme, you know, but it's going backwards. You're losing the war.


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[Assistant] My point in saying, like, 19 degrees is a normal temperature. Like, it's a normal thing. Yes. And you can, you can, if you put on warm clothes, you can probably exist in 19 degree, kind of indefinitely. Yea, yea, yea. Like, you, you can, you can win. Yep. Yea, fully. Negative 40?


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[Assistant] Negative 42, I don't, and again, we're probably going to hear from some, uh, experts on this. But negative 42.


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[Assistant] Yeah, not to mention actual frost, but actual damage. Yeah. Yeah, and hey listen, you might be able to get a layering system on your


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[Assistant] Body, with polypropylene, and then down, and then stealth wool. Oh, like nowadays? Yea, like now. Okay. Then you go nyloc, like there's a bunch of things you can put on. And you might be able to keep your body warm, but your feet? Like I don't believe there's boots.


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[Assistant] Well, it's happening psychologically as well, going back to the book. I- I find I'm withdrawing into myself more every day. I want to lash out someone or something. I'm tired, cold, dirty, and sick of war. Nothing goes right.


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[Assistant] Someday we will have to face the Chinese again. There seems to be no way out.


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[Assistant] I have to keep doing the best I can because I have enough brains to know that my best chance to make it back to Laura and our baby.


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[Assistant] She says she is alright, but I'm sure the strain on her is getting worse. She goes for weeks, not knowing if I'm dead or alive. The news doesn't help. All she hears is that the army is in retreat. Units are being wiped out and men are freezing to death.


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[Assistant] 18 February 1950, or 1951. We move today to some higher hills of the southeast of the town as we push


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[Assistant] Through the knee deep snow we find ourselves stumbling over the body of Chinese soldiers butchered in every possible way, then gently covered by a blanket of white. They've been bombed, napalmed, shot, some with tracers, others torn apart by artillery shells. Not a few of the bodies are still burning even under the snow.


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[Assistant] Fast forward a little bit. They're in another position. Off to our front right. Someone sees a group of men with a machine gun moving towards us up one of the many ridges. Our CO.


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[Assistant] Who is new to King Company and new to combat thinks the men are from Item Company. They are supposed to be on our right side. He thinks they may have secured their sector of the mountain and are trying to make contact with us. No matter what he thinks, the CEO shouldn't have done what he did next. He stands up and shouts into the rain and fog, are you men from Item Company?


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[Assistant] Those guys out there in the fog aren't new to combat. They knew what to do. They disappear like ghosts.


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[Assistant] Soon several machine guns are firing. Bullets ricochet off the rocks. We have our machine guns set up and firing. Between bursts we hear the enemy calling back and forth.


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[Assistant] That may be the strangest sound I've heard in combat. I guess not being familiar with their language makes it seem so strange. The shouts of the Chinese and the Koreans to each other always end on a high note.


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[Assistant] The thickening fog adds to the eeriness of the situation. They're getting ready to mount a serious counter attack. The whole mountain erupts in fire. They know where we are, but we can't see them except for occasional muzzle blast. It's hard to play roulette for that long.


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[Assistant] When chips of rocks start to sting your cheeks, you duck no matter what.


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[Assistant] I try to use my grenades sparingly. I throw them...


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[Assistant] Where I think I hear several voices. I don't know if I make a kill, but I do silence the shouting for a while. I saw the CO drop to the ground after he had shouted and the first rounds came out of the fog. Suddenly, he stands up to full height.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Drawing is 45, he looks up and down the ridge, raises his arm and screams, let's get the sons of u-


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[Assistant] His words are cut off by the round that hits his forehead just below his helmet.


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[Assistant] Fast forward 22 February 1951. Now they're assaulting another hill. When we reach the bunker.


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[Assistant] Ike slides down the hill to me. Blood is streaming down his right hand. I hear several shots. Someone is finishing off the chink in the bunker.


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[Assistant] Hopsis, are you hit? Ike yells. I pointed his bloody hand and yelled back. You're hit. Get out of here. He ignores me and begins searching my clothes for a wound. We can't find a hole or any blood. My chest hurts. Must have been a rock. I rub my chest as I start uphill to get my M1.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Tears come to my eyes as I realize I've just screamed an order to my friend. It's the first time I've ever given him an order. God help me, what's happening to me? Ike hands his bazooka to his assistant. I can't think of anything else to say. I watch his back as he slides downhill. His blood is soaking into the sleeve of my jacket. I'm tired, so tired. Now there's only me and Brown. The odds are finally catching up with us. Brown and I are the last of the six.


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[Assistant] The platoon is ordered to set up a perimeter on the north point of the mountain. It's the middle of the afternoon when I start my hole.


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[Assistant] I, I put myself just back of and to one side of the machine gun hole like I usually do. I hack at about six inches of frozen earth before I hit rock. I keep widening the hole, looking, looking for an edge to the rock.


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[Assistant] The first enemy mortar shell lands below us, on the forward slope.


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[Assistant] After they drop a couple more around us, they fire for effect.


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[Assistant] Several of them are zeroed in on our part of the mountain. There is no way to count the shells. The roar of the explosions and the whiz of flying shrapnel are continuous. I roll over the crest and slide a little way down the reverse slope. I dig some more.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I can't run around looking for a hole big enough for me and whoever is already in it. I can't run and start a bug out. It's tough chopping at the frozen ground. I crouch in a tight ball but I try.


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[Assistant] The fat shell, the shells fall with a steady rhythm of screeches as they approach the ground. A blast as they finally explode, followed by the zip of shrapnel. Finally I pull my arms and legs under me and make like a turtle. I grip my teeth, ball my hands into fists, and will the shells to stay away from me.


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[Assistant] A shell lands a few feet above me. The blast lifts me out of my shallow hole and slams me face down on the ground. I look around. Several men of our company and mortar squad yell to me. What did they say? I raise to a kneeling position on one knee, shaking my head to throw off the concussion of the blast. I look up as someone yells, come on!


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[Assistant] My helmet, where's my helmet? My glasses stayed on, but my helmet's gone. Two shells explode. One to my left, the other to my right.


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[Assistant] I go down flat as sledgehammers hit both of my legs, knocking them out from under me. I scream. All I can do is raise up my hands. Raise up on my hands. Something has burned its way through my gut.


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[Assistant] My whole insides feel like they're on fire. A warm stream is running down my chest. I clamp my hand over my neck.


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[Assistant] In the twilight, I can see blood running through my fingers. I wonder how much of my neck is gone. I scream in pain. I try to stand. Both legs cr-scrumble.