[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Nah, he's just a youngling dude. He was totally fine. He almost cried when he brought up his


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I know, dude, you had a lot of emotions. I had no idea it was that fucked up, like, the faking being on a ventilator, calling his brother, being like, she's on a ventilator, could you talk to her? The nurse? Yea. He's like, hey, what's up, I hope you're doing, and she's like, like, started breathing fast when he was talking, and the brother was like, she's never done this, could you keep doing this?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So the- Like to go through this. It didn't break until after the ass-whooping.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] After the national title, the news came out. So not only was the whole season led up to the game.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Against Alabama, where it's like, dude, let it happen. Plea- I knew it was a long shot, I was like, let Notre Dame win this. Yeah, yeah. Of course they fucking get smo- I mean, it was over from the start. Yeah. Uh, and then, couple days later, the story breaks, where it's like, Nantai's girlfriend was fake.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And everyone was like, he was in on it. That was the early thing was he faked it to get attention.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Getting destroyed by everybody and then having to sit on the Dr. Phil show with your parents and cry like that. Dr. Phil is a rat fuck dude. Of course he is.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Deserves it. If Notre Dame won the title, Mantash should have won the high.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, that was the problem. No remorse, bro. Zero fucking remorse. Like, during the thing, like they would talk about something that happened.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I wish I could forgive myself about minor infractions the way she does.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The movie came out. There was a movie. Really? Yea. You ever see the show? On MTV. Show's based off that guy made a movie. I didn't know about the movie.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. I was like, the show came out after the Teo thing. He was like, no, there's a movie that everyone watched. I was like, I never heard of a movie. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I never heard of that movie either. Anyway.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He was like, did you say Paw Patrol there? I was like, no, I said actually yes. Yes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh man. And then, uh, fuck, I forget what I was about to say. Uhm. I was selling cars, hurt, anyway. Everyone called it gay. Everybody was calling me gay. Everyone was saying, dude, you're gay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, my family stuck with Mantai more than I think his dad did. His dad was kinda like, had to get tricked. My whole family was like, Mantai did nothing wrong.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He didn't do anything wrong. My whole fam, dude, I've told you about my cousins. My cousins, my one cousin Mike's house is blue and gold.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He had the Rudy poster, the movie poster going down the length of the hall. How did he take this? We were all devastated.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Him and his brothers, he has two brothers, they used to drive to every Notre Dame game from Mechanicsburg. During the day. They'd leave like Friday night, get to a 2pm Saturday Notre Dame game and drive back. Not drink. They didn't drink. They would drive to the game.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Watch the game in the stands and then get back in a van and drive for 10 hours, dude. Manta is playing for them. Manta is playing for all of us, dude.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] For sure. I was dating a girl when we were, actually it was on the way to that game, that Notre Dame Michigan game, with the Leys, uh, and it was just me and my cousin Frank and my, and Natalie, his wife, who's the sweetest, she's an angel, cause Frank's a fucking monster. So we're driving,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Middle of the night, we drove through the night. He was, first he was giving me a lecture. Oh, this is what he was talking about. He was like, if your girl, cause my girlfriend didn't like Notre Dame. She didn't like football. He's like, you gotta get her on the program.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You have to wear a mask the whole time. In the airport people are like, can you please put the mask on?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's a fap. There's somewhere the booth goes the whole way up and that door kind of closes and you could definitely. Fuck. It's a turbulence.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That might have been your Faustian deal, dude. Dude, this guy, I was asleep and this dude comes up and goes,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Woke me up like that, like hitting that hard. Cause my mask, my nose was out. Above my mask.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What the fuck? I thought there was an emergency. I woke up with a stortus tapping my arm like hard. Dude. I was like holy shit. Remember they said the vaccine was 98% effective?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] For two hours, I thought about pressing the button and being like, get me a drink.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I have to check. Everything, dude, everything. Check what? What'd you ask? I was just standing back by the store, just doing my fucking thing. Just standing up, yea. Just stretching. Yea. And she was like, uhm, I'm not sure if you're allowed to be here right now. Oh my god.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I got yelled at, I got yelled at a couple times. My row, my row I had a lady that was, I had a chill row.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You don't know about Patriot Nurses? Rogues has a Patriot Nurse. Does he? The lady who administers- ASL.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There were three Tasmanian devils, two of them, I think it was one boy and two girls.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We missed them feeding. We were getting our picture with the koala. We missed. They chained up a fucking dead rabbit and let the boys fucking munch it. We got up there. We got up there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The koala in front of us was acting up. He wouldn't cooperate. He was not cooperating, dude. And they had to keep getting them different branches of eucalyptus, and they're picky with the eucalyptus. So like, you could, the girl- That's all they grub? Yea, that's all they grub. They're useless, dude. Yea.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They get yoked too. Yeah I saw that. They're very funny. The ones we saw were passive. Bro, they were doped up. You saw wallabies, you saw rockos. We did get to see wallabies.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, we saw... Kookaburras. We saw Kookaburras. Yeah, Kookaburras.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That was sick. I saw those boys, they were awesome. Ben Chickens. Emus.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, they look like the fucking Miami Hurricanes. They look crazy. We're looking at them, we're walking through this park, we're like, holy shit, look at this fucking bird. And while we're staring at it, I was like, dude, this is definitely their pigeon.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's when that whole thing started. I was like, good, get rid of it. They're like, we built in its marshlands. It's like, good, I hope you built a school and a hospital where those dumb fucking birds lived in a swamp.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, they're very, see they're very guilty people. They need, well that's cause, again, it started with...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] George Floyd, dude. True. Everybody, the whole world. Say his name. America dictates the entire world's culture. So when we had race wars, every other country had to be like, oh yeah, we're racist too.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's like, Australia's like, what we did to the Aboriginals was so fucking evil. There wasn't that many of them. They wiped the boys out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Dude, think if Minnesota was just CNN. It's the gayest country on earth.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Montreal was pretty cool when I was there. Montreal is sick, but. The architecture is cool. The people there, there's a bit of, there's some dudes who like speak French and they think they're elitist. That's another thing about fucking Canada. You have to make every announcement twice. Oh yeaah. They keep speaking French. It's like dude, stop. Just fuck it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Flight attendants have to, they're like, okay, you know, it's typical flight.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Ding that fucking, wanna ding that fucking gay ass bitch back and be like, how much is the fine for not wearing a mask? Soon as he's, name and number pussy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Dude, it's fucking tough out there. The floodgates broke. I put a fucking mandate. Holy emojis. It's way, it's way sicker. Dude, think of the Lord of the Rings guy with the bomb running. That's the guy breaking the emoji wall, just diving, just FAGGING.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is Shark Tank. Okay. You just referred to that guy as a normal ass dude. Yes. False.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Airbnb's. Airbnb's are $38 in Denmark. You understand where you're gonna be staying.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What day though? That's the thing. That's how these work. Dude, we're not going during Christmas, bro. No, no, no, but if you look on there, it'll give you the cheapest thing. It'll be one day of the entire year. If you schedule it for when you're there, it's gonna be whatever price they name.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's okay. Now this is pre-taxes. Now there's also cleaning fee. That's usually 100 bucks at every Airbnb. Go ahead, next.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Whatever he says is the plan. What I'm afraid is, spud dog's gonna implode, which does make for perfect fucking, exactly what we need. Confession? You're talking confession.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It would be chill, you would like it. I think when you're younger, it's cooler. Like I, when I went to Spain when I was younger, I was like, this is so fucking crazy. No matter where I go now, it's all, it's all Buffalo, dude. But dude, you're jaded, bro. Actually, Sydney was fucking Sydney.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The opera house is sick. Oh dude, we gotta talk about getting torped.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like save it for the pot. Yeaah, yeaah, yeaah. I thought he might have said something inappropriate.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't think it was either. I do actually, I believe all Julian.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You'd say you'd find a plumber that's a loser. Dude, I watched a podcast on this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Soda, soda is, I mean he still probably does, but he used to get it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, until you're under the knife. And then it's an uncomfortable experience.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] At one point I was like, maybe you could get rid of, you could torp for me. I didn't know he was gonna hold on to it the whole day. At the end of the night. I'm like, alright, I'm tired as fuck, I gotta go. And he's like, you wanna go find somewhere private?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Somewhere less crowded and we can, we can do the tour.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He took us, so we leave the Sydney Opera House. We leave that and walk up to a park that kind of overlooks the, the harbor, which is, is beautiful. It's a perfect place to get blown.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I sit on a stump of a tree in the middle of a park at night and Julian Palmer hits me with the fucking torping.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. I was, there was a part of me that was really hoping it was real. Yeah. What?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I, uh, yeaah, did that to me, I was literally sitting there looking at Matt laughing, this guy's, we're in the dark, this guy's on his knees behind me going,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it's, yeah, go ahead. He does the back now for five minutes. He's like, this is a tough one, mate.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, no, no, this is us by ourselves doing this. Yeah, we're just chilling. Killing time. I'm not trying to smash Julian, cause he was a great dude. He might be real, dude. He's on another level. I'm just not on that. He's on another level. I'm not in that world.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, that was the easily the best one, dude. They have fucking fruit bats that are flying foxes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That was probably the best night of the trip. Those flying foxes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Nice. Now the one thing that felt different was all of a sudden it was winter. Yeaah. So you get there and the sun goes down at five. Yeaah. Fuck. And you're like, holy shnikes dude. That was part of the body load dude. That's where you go, you go down there and you go, holy shnikes dude.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] First night woke up at 3 a.m. Yeaah. The next day. Couldn't go to sleep. Yet today, today was a good day. I went to bed at 9 and woke up at 5 a.m. How do you feel now?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I feel like I took a nap before I came here. I was fully asleep. This is what happens around five or six. I get fully fucking, it's bedtime. It's tough. If I sleep for like 45 minutes, then it's daytime the next day.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm essentially a flying fox. You're a flying fox now? I wish. If I was any Australian animal, I would say I was probably a flying fox.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cine ruled. Then Adelaide was kind of fucking gay. Yeaah. That was the only show that was kind of a dud. It was the one show that was a dud.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. It wasn't, yeah. Compared to the other shows, that one was a dud. The first show was sick.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In Europe? That's my dog in Europe. Here's what happened to me when I went, I fucking, first, you're gonna be so homesick.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But make sure you, you fall apart on camera.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I mean, you, the debauchery, it needs to be recorded. You need to be an open book.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We don't know. No one will know. I know, yes. We'll find out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think you look at the paintings, definitely peeped the paintings. But then, there's also some fine red light districts over there. I walked through the one in fucking Hamburg, Germany. My lord, dude. Oh my lanta. I was walking through there like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They were the babes, dude. They were full on the babes. Really? And they were just wearing, the only way you could identify them is they were wearing puffy jackets. Oish. And they were, I couldn't believe it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Outside. There's a red light district. There's like, you're in a city. There's a couple blocks where it's just fully legal. It's like the uniform was like, it was winter time, so they were wearing puffy, every one of them had the same jacket on. You'd be like, holy shit, who's that hot chick? Oh, she's one of them? The hottest girls ever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They saw me, dude. They sussed me out immediately. They're like, Americans.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well of course it's real, Spade. It uses cellular transport technology designed to enhance the absorption of water into the bloodstream. Liquid IV contains five essential vitamins. B3, B5, B6, B12, Vitamin C, and is free from Grutins.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Dairy and soy. Use liquid IV first thing in the morning before a workout when you feel run down and after a long night out. Bill, you called it. Orange. Mandatory personal endorsement.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I did it? Well, we already did the personal endorsement. I actually drank one today. After my workout. And before. I did before and after today. Fuck Gatorade, dude. Gatorade. You drink a Gatorade?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] To liquid IV shits on Gatorade. Get diabetes dude? Liquid IV shits on Gatorade. Also, I did have one, they sent me a crate of these fucking things. You sending them to me? I could give you a bunch. I'd like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Lemon, lime, and tropical punch. What about orange? Orange. Yea, obviously.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Aren't you glad I didn't say banana? They have a Bud Light Orange now. Grab your Liquid IV in bulk nationwide at Costco. Get down there. Get 15% off when you go to LiquidIV.com. AKA fat people heaven. And use code drenched. Don't you ever besmirch Costco.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Get 15% off anything using promo code drenched.com or drenched at liquidiv.com. Thank you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's like my dream. That Asian bitch. Was she Asian or not? Nah, you did that. Okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] FitBot Tailors is an exercise program to your goals, equipment, and schedule. It's the easiest way to work out. Look at me, dude.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] To avoid overtraining, this app varies your routine for you. Way cheaper than a personal trainer. FitBot is easy to use on both the iOS and Android devices. Their video tutorials make it easy to learn a new routine. You can get a full year of personalized workouts with FitBot.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cross your summer fitness goals with personalized workouts from FitBot that improve as you do. Get 25% off your subscription or try the app for free when you sign up now at fitbot.me slash drenched. That's 25% off your subscription or try it free at fitbot.me slash drenched.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Nice, nice shirts. I know we're goofing there. I bought a couple of those. You know me, I like to wear black tees on stage. Thank you True Classic.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Great black tease. Another company sent a different company, not them. Mandatory endorsement. Sent me some, it's not mandatory, Bill. I, uh, come on.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Act like it. Huh? Act like it. We'll talk. We'll talk off air, dude. Will we? Yes. I don't think we will. I'm gonna get the fuck out of here.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Now that we've handled business, dude. True classic, look what I did. Sorry it took so long for us to get there. We were in Australia. We tried to do two episodes. Both of them ended up fucking nuts. Yeaah, it was too much. We were gonna not put one on Patreon, they were both fucking wild.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They don't know how cool we are in real life, that's the thing. They think we're dicks.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] True. Couldn't be more humble than I am. I'm staying humble, dude. It fucking pisses me off.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh well. Alright, well we'll go to Patreon, I'll fix my professional setup.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean play it occasionally because I still want to remind you of how cool it is. Because it is nice.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah. Yeaah, that's, uh, weed is the weirdest thing like that. We're like, I can go without it for a long time and then I just go like... It was almost like, uh, I don't know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've like, I've stopped smoking weed for like months at a time, a couple times, and every time I've stopped smoking weed for like two months, it just, two months go by and I go, I could just smoke weed right now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's a real addiction. I know dudes that like can't sleep unless they, like I know dudes who just wake up at 4am and have to smoke weed and go back to bed.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause our body wakes them up, it's like, dude, let's go.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There was a, fuck, what was, there was an article about that, how this one guy, like, people attacked him online for it, but he came out and was like, like, weed's a drug now, you guys are all deluding yourselves. He was saying with like, the amount to which people are ripping dabs, like how strong they are versus weed in like the 70s or 80s, he's like, it's a totally different substance, it's a totally different thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It rules, no. It does rule, it does rule, but I will say,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, and I'm telling you, it's- I don't have a problem. It's the slipperiest, well, it's just the slipperiest thing, cause it's like, like dude, again, I went out Saturday, I drank, and I was like, yeah, I don't want to drink again for a long time, and that's a really easy one for me to uphold. Yeah, yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But, yeaah, with weed it's just like you quit and then you just go. I will say though, when I like, the first couple weeks when I stopped smoking weed, I'm a little testy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, like I'll start getting- Maybe that's what it was. Dude, and this is what, this is, I've talked about this before and I don't think it's ever made sense to anyone. The only thing that happens that's really weird to me, when I start, when I stop, like completely get weed out of my system,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When things start like, smelling a certain way, it reminds me of like, I feel the way I did when I was young. Like, and it's like a weird, vague sense. But I started smoking weed when I was like 17.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It'll be like just the smell of outside as it is. If I'm in a certain area, like the trees, I'll smell outside as it is and be like, I haven't smelled, the world didn't smell.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So that's- that was one thing I was always like, this is kinda weird. And it sounds like schizophrenic to explain, but I'm serious.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah, and it's like I get in touch with a different baseline operating feeling state, basically. That I've basically avoided for 30 years. Through my use of marijuana. And then it comes and I'll go, oh, that's how my baseline was when I was like a kid. And I go, woah, weird.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I'm not painting it as a bad thing at all, it's just...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I am always, uh, it's the most like, I, that's the only, I get, I get like really high, and all I think about is the fact that I get really, I'm like, why do I get this high? And I just go like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then I get like, uuuh, then it goes away, I'm like, I'm glad that's done with. And then two weeks later, I'm like, I'm gonna get that high again.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it's the, it's the strangest thing. I just get, I get like an intense rush of anxiety, and I'm forced to solve a problem I don't want to deal with. And I just go like, I should probably fucking think about that. And then I just fucking, I'm like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I don't know, it is curious to figure out like specifically what people freak out about from weed. Because there's usually like, I feel like I'm going crazy, I feel like I'm going to die.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There is though that like, you learn to kind of, that's like an electric fence I hit in my brain every now and again. I like, I learn how to kind of like just walk the edges of it. And for me, like a lesser version of that would have, what used to happen to me a lot was like, I'd be high, I'd be in my house, and all of a sudden like every single thing in my house looked wrong. Like I'd be like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What the fuck is that? What's that thing? This shit didn't look like this. And I'm like, why do I live here? And I would just like, start, cause I was always in rented apartments. Cause I'd always, in my whole like, from my adulthood, I'd be in a different rented apartment and I'd be like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, not at all. I moved out, I went to college at 18. I just, that was just kicking around. Yeah. It's like I was very, I was an independent bird.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wow. Dude, have you ever been in a, have you ever had a dude who traps design a finished basement and then see it? No. Dude, it is the, they might be the nastiest designers of interior basements. You got fish tanks?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Bro. Yeah dude. Yeah. Of course. Yep. Okay, that tracks. White tile floors.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A retarded projector that is like, literally too big for this. It's the funniest shit in the world. I mean, you don't think, there's obviously a Scarface poster. Yea, come on. It'll be like a, it's so fucking funny. It'll be like a Ro-Home in Philadelphia.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And he had an interior door. He lived in a basement as well, but he had straight, somehow it was like access to the like very ground floor through the side. And it was just like an interior bedroom door as their exterior door. And I had to meet this guy and he walked in and he would just blaze rocks in conversation and be like, yeah, what's good, bro?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I know this guy. He can get pounds of weed. I'll hook you up to him. And it's like, you have to go. You're like, I'll never get money anyways. You're like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Two, two are wonderful. So then you go, exactly, so now you go to the, there was like this cracked out dude, he showed me a dude who actually did smell crack, and then he was like, I got the fucking, I got the bee-sters, and I was just like, I don't think he has the bee-sters, dude.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It depends. Some yes, then some are just like on the verge of like the most of like probably like a home invasion murder. So there's like, there's some dudes that were like, some dudes were kinda, well it's weird cause some dudes like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's hard to explain because there are some guys you could tell, like, didn't grow up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In like, like these guys grew up in a fucked up environment. Now there was guys who kind of were able to like, live a normal life and then there was dudes that Scarface posted up and were like, I'm a like, I'm a legit career, like this is, there was dudes who like, thought if they were a criminal they had to fit like a very specific archetype of being like, this is what I do, this is what I like and it's all the stuff that gets you arrested.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're saying your mind is the only thing that exists.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've, I've mentally, I've mentally run away. This is another thing that happened to me when I was stoned. I've encountered this concept and ran away from it screaming.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So it's like, solipsism is a philosophical outlook that being a narcissist could possibly exist in, which it doesn't need to be in there to exist, but they're saying that's like an overall theory. Narcissism is a whole like, mental process of making certain actions and doing certain things. You know what I mean?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm pretending to be able to read this right now, but the uhm, actually no, I have Pyle's vision, but my world. My shit's getting blurrier. We have a reading test right now?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So you were having like vivid out of your body day, like I'm, what I'm imagining is like I'm driving my car, I'm hearing a song, and I'm imagining myself ripping the solo. That's like 80% of my daydreams, I'm just like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah. I mean you also glimpsed the other side and came back.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, that makes sense. You were having like out of body experiences basically.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I wouldn't call, I don't, I, listen, I don't label it anything. But what are you daydreaming about now is the question.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And what hap- so you pulled up and they saw you. Yeaah. And they just were like, ugh, dude.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We're also all high as fuck. But I'm trying to figure out, I don't get it. What do you daydream about? Ripping guitar solos. If I have to like fight people down at the park.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Not seeing anyth- I'm literally looking at the road and it's more of like a, just like a palpable thought form. So when I'm daydreaming, I'm not like visualizing all this stuff, for the most part. Sometimes I kinda will on some level, but I still see everything. I'll just not pay attention to what I'm seeing really, and just be like so deep in like, just the feeling of what it would be like to be ripping the solo.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, Butterly asked it. What are the content? Mine are guitar solos.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What if there were some older kids that were mean to Maya and I tried to throw a ball at her. And I'd stop and I'd go, bro I'd kick that ball so fucking hard. What would you say to them? I'd say, what the fuck are you guys doing? My whole daydream is I like live out a scenario and I edit it and go, that would be sicker.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm gonna lose that. I'm in complete control. There's people, there's people who are fantasizing lightly all day. Pretty much, there's people who say that's basically what your whole mind is doing. It's just constantly fantasizing little scenarios and you just choose one of them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, but again- But here's the question, so when you completely, like, barring the distinction,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you're sitting down watching a game and it gets boring, you'll just all of a sudden, this reality blacks out and you're now waking up in another one. That's what I'm confused about.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's cool though, I like, I've never considered that at all. I always just, I'm bopping around and all of a sudden I'm driving and I'm like, yeaah, this would be cool.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I come back, I'm like, oh fuck, what was that? And they go, alright, and I keep driving. I've never like lost my body and just like, started taking out the trash. Oh fuck, I'm back, was I just taking out the trash?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When I'm confused, it's just, to me it's so interesting because I was trying to get like nailed down specifically what it was and it's too ethereal.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, but what are you doing, why are you, are you, you're not asleep, but what are you, what's your activity you're doing while you daydream? Is there like a common activity that serves as a long back?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What's the wrong word for that? That's the wrong, when they say you died, it's like, well you obviously didn't die. Cause you're not dead. So it's like, you went, you were fucked up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I have a friend who's done that two or three times. He's gone biologically flatlined dead and came back I think like multiple times. And he had fucking wild experiences. Like what do you mean? Just like meeting the devil and shit, like crazy stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's pretty neat. So you weren't completely mentally flatlined. You just got, how far back you remember?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] True, and to be fair, I don't think any amount of college prepares people for that idea at all.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's what I heard. Tough to work with. They didn't let him work. He wanted to work down in the catacombs. He wanted to be down where all the dead popes went and build statues down there. And they were like, now we're taking you off. You gotta go paint this thing. And he threw a fucking fit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Does he, is he always just like see his bird in that movie at all? I feel like you'd see his bird like a hundred times.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I mean dude, that was, that was a life for all of humanity up until like a thousand or so years ago. What, bird watching? Not a bird, well there was probably a lot of bird watching going on, but it was just like, we were all being raised by people who had no concept of...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's pretty crazy. Tom fucked me up about that. I was chilling with Tom, uh, my brother.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, we were sitting at, we had the surprise party for Billy this weekend, and he was like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Which is fucked up, everyone was mentally, like only like 40 years ago, compared to today. In terms of just like how people bopped around. And it was like just like a complete lack of awareness, where it was like, maybe it was like 50, 60, like dudes like beating their fucking wives. Like when that what used to be kinda like, yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well he was saying, what he was talking about was like, he watched this thing, he talked to me, he told me, yea true, they gave it over. But he was saying like, he watched like a television interview of Timothy Leary, and some dude said something about like, shaking his wife up, like, physically letting her know, and the crowd like, kinda all laughed. Oh yea yea yea. They're all like, hah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, he's hitting her in the bed, be like, shut the fuck up, she's fucking, she's just fucking hard headed, dude. That was, that's what I'm saying, that was, I mean, that was like a fucked up area, but that was like, way less sensational, and that was in the 80s, I think.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And the dude from the, whatever that life of crime doc was like, I'm fucked but like maybe this will help somebody. And he was like, keep the cam on me, keep it rolling. Yea. Oh, I didn't know he has a change of heart. He said that he won't, I think he had like a very...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, true. But also, like, they're, yeah, true. And it's, uh- This is pretty common. I wanna see the manifestos of these.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was just funny to, I dunno, it was funny to get into like the semantics behind trying to like filter and spin murders to like certain agendas being like, nah, they don't play very well. Ooh, that's a good one. Run that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Dastardly. Yea, that's cool. So dastardly. That's cool stuff. But dude, I didn't tell you, this is what happened to me at the, uhm,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So we were like on the thinnest of ice and it was funny too because we had like a, we did dinner before that with like just like my mom, my dad, some uncles and stuff. And uh, he thought that's where he was getting surprised at. So he sits through the dinner the whole time like, what the fuck's going on? And then his friend, I had his friend come up and like, yo, let's all go out. And his friend took him in and he got him.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I ended up getting so fucked up because it was an open bar. So I was like, I haven't defeated that mind virus yet in my head where it's like, open bar, I have to make this as worth as much as possible. Well you were paying for it, sure. I don't even like fucking alcohol that much and I was just like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I never did that before, so I'm like bopping around, I'm all excited. I'm sitting there just drinking, ripping the vape pen, and I'm the whole time, I think I got so high, convinced myself I wasn't drunk.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Which was like such a weird thing. Cause I was in a bar with other people who were fucked up so I'm like talking. I didn't feel like, like my cadence was off or like I was like messing up on ideas or anything so I'm like blah blah we're talking. I got out of there and at some point I had received news of Aaron Carter's death on Twitter.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I retweeted the death news of his death with a crying laughing emoji.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They didn't know I did that. Walked out of that place, I went and got ice cream with my wife. I'm like, alright, the Uber's coming, it's like a seven minute wait. We stopped, there's an ice cream place, we're like, let's get some ice cream while we're waiting. I stood there, doing my very best, still thinking like, I'm not that fucked up. I'm staring at the ice cream menu for...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Probably like two minutes while they're getting stuff together and I'm like alright, looking at it, trying to make sense of it and I'm like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Dude, and then I got out of there, and so, you know, we go home, I'm still like, alright, that was a fluke, like, we got this. I get home, and we had a babysitter there, so we're like, alright, like, you guys got, like, you know, we're good here, and they're like, oh, my brother's coming to pick us up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, there was a girl and her cousin, we had like a little squad. So they come, or they don't do it for like, they don't leave for like 10 minutes. And I'm fucking hungry. So I took, I made a bowl of spaghetti. I made this gigantic bowl of spaghetti while these two just like young girls sat there. I was sitting there like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I just sat there, I was sitting there like, every five minutes, I'd be like, the dogs were good?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I'm like, you know what dude, just don't even bring it up, just, it's your house, it's fucking, who cares, you wanna make spaghetti, make fucking spaghetti. And I like, finally at my, I went down, I brought it to the table, and I was like, I'm Latin massing them, and I completely kept my back to them. I was like, I'm not engaging at all, I'm just hoping they leave.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, yeaah, I'm doing, for a project I'm doing, uh, I've been writing about cults, and the cult that I've been talking to invited me to a full moon ceremony in Albuquerque, New Mexico.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They do like, uh, it's basically a yoga sex cult, uhm, and they believe that like, uh, all knowledge isn't gained, it's unlocked through meditation and sex. So like- I know why you chose this one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yes, yes. Like, through meditation and you can like, if you like the way ecstasy makes you feel, you can just turn that on and off like a faucet in your brain because those are just chemicals unleashed. Oh, so they're retarded. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, a long time friend is bringing me, and they know I'm writing something, so they're giving me time with the...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He was like more negative than you. When I knew him. Which was funny, because we'd always just shit on people.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, yeah. It's like, uh, conspiracy theory black dudes, basically.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's not drug addict shit, that's exploring.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I have a story where I was an asshole.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So my friend owns this farm and we used to have this thing called farm party every summer. And I just broke up with this girl and she was like, texted me and she was like, Hey, I just want you to know I'm bringing a dude. This is fresh off like two weeks of us not seeing each other. And I was like, no, I'm not cool with that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's all our friends. And she was like, well I'm doing it anyway. It was a big blow up. So I decide, once I get down to farm party, I'm doing, drinking nothing but whiskey. Just, just getting gnarled on whiskey. As soon as this dude shows up, he's not two steps out of the car. Boom, drink in the face.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And we start rumbling and everyone's like, well, John brought this on himself. He gets me to the ground. He kicks me three times and then he gets three, three of my ribs.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Now we can, we can prove this wrong. The dude from the Sixers is married to that little girl, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Run, run. So you're saying arms are like really blue collar types.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well first of all, it was crazy, but I had to clear my mind to deal with the acid because they had the same trip last year, but Christian had the bell.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, the whole, like, I'm seeing Christian for the first time in years. And when I first get there, I'm like, fuck, I hope I get to hang out with Christian. I hope everybody just leaves afterwards. I'm like, how do I ask this question without sounding gay? Don't leave, guys. You know what I mean? It's like, can we please hang out?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I had to clear my mind of that to take this acid. You know what I mean? So like, uh, dude, it was so fucking sick. It was, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, one of my favorite parts, first of all, Ween is just like, just crushing all night long. There's this guy next to me that's just like a fucking, like one of those wavy things outside of a gas station, you know what I mean? He's just all night long just feeling it. And honestly, I think he was forcing it a little bit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He was forcing the vibe? He was forcing the vibe. So like, I was like, especially once the acid hit, I was like jumping into different vibes and trying to like embody the vibe. Dude, when I was embodying his vibe, my hamstring started. Really? Yea, he needed to sit the fuck down, man. He was forcing it. He was picking on the vibe. Heavy forcing it, right? He was in Sid's empty seat.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Was he? Yeah, cause I was talking to Ainsley about it. I bet, I bet you he was bragging to them about when he goes to a Ween concert, he just vibes the whole time, he never even sits down.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, so Tim explains to me what this band is all about. They're about a fun vibe and a good time. They're just having fun, right? They're having fun.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. And they're just doing like all different genres of cool music and they have a light show that goes with each genre and shit, which was fun. So they're like, they're weaning out hard, everybody's feeling the vibe. I'm jumping to this because this was one of my favorite parts. And I'm like, I'm getting them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Tim gave me the little fucking cliff notes on how to enjoy them, right? I feel like I'm, I'm joining them. I'm laughing at a seemingly appropriate times because like Tim and, uh, you know, Carl and Christian, they're also laughing too. I'm like, fuck, I'm, I'm getting this, right? And then I don't know where he just goes, this one's for the Puerto Ricans.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The only, like, the only thing, if I had any complaints, like, so there was, uh, so we were up in the mezzanine, and then there was like a group to the left that I could see of a crowd and a group to the right, and they were like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This crowd to my left, they were all like synchronized. They were like jamming in a synchronized way. The group to my right, there was like no synchronicity and no vibe to them. Did you notice that?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh yea, I was vibe jacking all night long. Yea, when I'm on psychedelics, I like to like meld into the fucking vibe and just like see what happens. Yea, it's fun man.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, but yea, a lot of nithats in that non-synchronized group.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'd, I'd take Kangal hat all day. Well, no, it depends on who's wearing it though. He's, like, you're talking black guy in a Kangal hat. Yeah, I'm talking old black man.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Black Kingel hats, they're like tent poles on the slick road, but we're good. For sure. They're stupas.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't think, do any young black guys wear kangle hats? Uh, they're not fun right now. The young black guys in kangle hats, they're not fun. Really? Yea, because what they're trying to do is uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The, the, the revision in like 70s fuckin' protests, like fuckin'...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, if you can talk to dolphins, not that far. You don't have to be that close. They, they- Don't meet you halfway for sure. Yea, yea, you might like, for you to understand them, but you might have to be closer for them to get what you're saying.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, while you guys are doing that, can I request a trivia, Danny? Let me see what, let me see.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I like Satori because that puts me closer to like an anime lifestyle.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm kinda crazy. Yeah, like I still find most shit annoying.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I just saw a video of a dude getting fucked up by a whale in a kayak.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think, I think it's inevitable, dude. But I would, that's what I'm saying, I would be the one that doesn't go nuts and they'd be looking for me the whole time. I'm just out there just leaving a wake


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I know some people like that and this is exactly what you say. Like money just stops really existing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A very skin-to-skin kid, you know, very like, very like kinda in his own world but also in the world at the same time. He was always a unique kid. The first time he had to fight for himself and he did very well and learned he had power.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's scary. It was, he changed. Yeaah. I mean, he's still a cool kid. I love him. He's like, but I saw like, uh, him wanting to feel that more.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know what I mean? Or it could just be like, uh, it could, you know, this is how you know what kind of kid you're dealing with, if it feels like a tie. Like, where does he go after, like, uh, kinda like a mutual thing, we both kinda like showed ourselves, and we both walk away.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like the character that Ben is in the world, right? If you get fucked up by him, which somebody is definitely gonna...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They will be ruined. It's over for them. There's no coming back.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I had to, uh, so, so, you know, Ben and I, we like talk shit all the time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And the other day, he was walking by me and he like, like shoulder bumped me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I had to look to see who it was for a second. I was like, what the fuck was that? And then I grabbed him and I was like, Ben, I have to step it up a notch.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I swear to god, he does that to me all the time, but that particular day, I noticed that it was like, holy shit, dude.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Down in 20 seconds, dude, lay down. She was ready.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That was so happy. I was like, thank you. Appreciate you. Cause that's like, that's a big gamble. When it's like, we're going to do it at nine PM. I'm like, fuck. Yeah. You're getting out of the house. That's my situation.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Fuck dude. Yea man, I, uh, I had a nice interaction before I came in here. I was dragging in the, uh, the beanbag chair and I was just, just being negative, my usual self walking in. Not about the whole set up, I was like- With the beanbag chair. Yea, you were negative with the beanbag chair. It wasn't negative, I will say not negative, it was, I was having like, paranoia.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was being like very lightly paranoid. Uh, so like, there's people across the street sitting on their porch. Yeah. And I was like, I must have, I just, I think I'm still like so worried about getting in trouble for being a little kid where I'm like, we're in a warehouse, these guys can't say anything.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Have you ever walked, have you ever noticed when you walk outside you tend to sneeze a lot? Like as soon as you look at the sun. If I eat chocolate, if I eat chocolate and walk outside and the sun hits my eyes, I sneeze. It's, dude it's automatic.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I would say ADD is more warrior class and, uh, autism is more like oracle class. Okay. The rest of the people who don't have either of those are just like kind of workers. Yea, you're a mage. You're a worker. Yea, true. Yea. If you don't have ADD or autism, basically you're just


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're saying you're chillin' with an anime black dude and then his like 100% USA brother just comes in and you're going, whoa, what the fuck?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, so you have... Sid's point was that autistic white guys share a lot of traits. So incels, incels and...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You both love Tekken. You both love Tekken 4. Yeah, okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I can see, I thought you were saying more like, in terms of a societal role. That's where I got thrown off.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, this is the 90s black days, they treated black days like incels, like we treat incels now in about the 90s. In the 90s? In the 90s, I'm talking about like the news. It'd be like these fucking black guys. The news in the 90s when I was growing up was like five black guys, you'd see the guy would be like ripping his fucking chair. They did it again.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, imagine though, if you could literally, you got charged for something, whatever, say it's that, say it's something else, and you could be like, your honor, my client hasn't got pussy in 27 years. Like, the whole jury's like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's like the thing, if you get into the manuscript, they talk about hypergamy, how like, uh, dating apps now grant pretty much like all women access to like the top 3% of like cream of the crop of like dateable, like 3, like the 3% crop of absolute Gaston's dude.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is what they would say are so kind of like keyed in on like, I'm gonna land one of these dudes. So they're not given like their true counterpart.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, fucking Gaston Radar, I just want someone to talk to me dude. Like, I'm good on that. I'm talking about like, just somebody dude. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, they're pretty miserable. When you start out, and what happens a lot of times, I've noticed, when you start out, it's like, I don't know if it takes you a minute to get fully uploaded in that algorithm, but like the first week is dark, dude. Like nobody, nobody does anything. That was my experience. And then slowly things start trickling in, and you're living and dying by it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'll jump in, I'll teleport into somebody else's fucked up life.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Bro, well the problem, it's not even like, it's not even consciously, you just go on so many dates like a psycho that like you now have like a, it's almost like punch lines where like, there's certain things you'll say that you know get kind of like a certain reaction.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, it was, uh, my, to be fair though, I actually was just more or less, I never viewed it like that, I was just like, let me, if I can somehow, by the grace of God, get back into this person's dwelling, I'm just gonna beg them. As much as legally possible. And then I will fully be a gentleman about it, if no. But it's like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, you just go to make out. Once the make out's going on, once the making out's going on, it's just like, you just push that as far as possible, and that gets stopped, and I just lay there, hard as humanly possible, and you go, ahh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just be seen, man. No, the, uh, you just, like, you get pussy, man. You like, if you, if you get, if you have sex, you're like, nice. If you have sex once in a week, you're like, especially if you're on these apps, you're like, bro, I'm killing it. You start, you start pigging on, like, multi-week dates. I'm not gonna say more about that, but if you start fucking, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Going out to dinner a couple of times a night, dude. Did you get romantic? Were you a romantic? A couple of times a night? Of course. Yea. No, I mean a couple of times a week, I'm sorry. That's like- Oh, I know. That's when you're kind of- That's when you're picking. I mean, dude. Yea. Were you- Yea, okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] True, it was, but yeaah, it was, uh, yeaah. But no, that whole, that was a crazy era of my life, dude. I came screaming out of a marriage, you know, I would say 90% of that marriage was all my fault, my own just immaturity. Come screaming out of that and being like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What the fuck's going on? Like an air mattress in my brother's nose. And also, pegging on Tinder. I was the worst dude you could possibly imagine.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I, I, yes, so I came out of a marriage. This was the first time I ever applied myself in a relationship. That's what I'm saying. And I was still wildly naive and just like completely fucking stupid, but I still at least made like an effort. So I came out like actually like understanding how women think. I didn't know anything about like


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I would, I told you before, I would get girlfriends when I was younger and it would be like a, it would just like develop in my life. And I would be like, oh fuck. And I would just stand there and just be like, uh huh, uh huh. I would just never listen to anything.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's what I'm saying. I had like an actual insight into, uh, female psychology.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Not to sound like a fucking disgusting PUA, but it was just like, oh, okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, no. Sure, I get it. No judgement. I know, I know. No judgement at all. That's not you. Yeah. I'm telling you dude.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I, I, I don't know man, it's, it's tough to imagine. I mean dude, like, I still do suffer from like, if someone speeds past me, I'm like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I gotta catch that guy. No, that's normal. Okay, that's normal. Yeah, you have a vigilante complex.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I'm not trying to get squirrely about my sexual history, it was just like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's crazy to think about and it truly is. I think about it and I just shudder. I go, Jesus, man.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Ah man. Crazy. You know. Yeah. It's not even a sexual thing. I can't. It's just an approach to life thing. It's like. It sounds like suffering. I was truly a two dimensional character. I was out here, I was kicking around being like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, but I don't think someone- I don't think your parents are exactly cleaning your psychic turtle tank, dude.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, that's uh, I get really sad when I think about that. That was part of what got me off the nog, dude. You see like the amateur vids, and you're like, ah, that's a Russian sex slave pretty clearly, and you go, eh, shit. Yeah. Yeah, I feel sad now, fuck.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Also too, it's like, cause I'd imagine you'd wanna do that with like your, you know, your wife or girlfriend or whatever. So you'd have to like, build up for so long to finally be like, oh by the way, I'd very much like to stretch the diameter of your butthole.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Not nasty enough. Yeah, it could be nastier.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, true. No, dude, you're 100% right. You're 100% right. Cause I gotta take it, I mean, we're all basically wordsmiths, and I haven't been relying on that at all. Wow. I've been just kind of just like, I think today I was just like, dude, can you please? That's awesome.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Did you ever get into ordering for like a woman? I think I did it once or twice. You did? Yea. I never did, I've always, Brittany wants me to order for her, I'm like, what the fuck would I do?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm gonna do it. She's been begging me for me to order for her, which I'm like, why in the fuck would I ever do that? Why don't you want to pick your own shit? Like, I could pick wrong.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I could look at a menu, I think I could fully order for her.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Especially if you're like, you don't even know your app, you don't wanna, look, there's five apps. Fucking, pick one right now, you have five. Yeah, let's just get a sampler. Yeah, that shit fucking chaps my ass.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Shrimp and bacon. What does it not go with? Shrimp and steak, shrimp and chicken.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What if Forrest Gump with the whole point of that movie was just to launch Bubba Gump's Shrimp House? No, it probably was.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah, dude, actually raise the drone army! Okay, dude, ready? So, strategically, the military can't offer any actual useful knowledge about this conflict there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well no, here's the thing dude. Is that misguided? No, it's not misguided because it's like there's an act, there's a teeming underworld or reality to this whole porn business that is genuinely terrible.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Jerking off to women with like broken lives is inherently fucking crazy. And I get it, you get addicted to it. Yea, but that's all you've ever done. I know, I know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But no, you didn't do the wrong thing. If you're speaking from truth, you're not doing the wrong thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, no, you know, yeah, if you're going there, like, there's gonna be a point star there. It's kinda mythical in a way where it'd be like, well, curious to see what this is like. Yeah, we had Puppy Girl General and Matt and Shane's and I remember being like, this'll be cool.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, just being like this will be different. Yeah. You know, but yeah, it's like, it can get kind of, it's like, you know, again, it's not one of those things like, you know, people, everybody, pretty much everybody watches it, but it's like, yeah, no judgment. I actually am not.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Damn, so that was the whole thing. He was kinda like, dude, let's play the game here.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He was like, this is a new epoch in football, we're actually worried about


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He was Timothy Spear, but it also does, like, there are dudes who do say that who are like, football's fucking life, this game is my fucking life. He's like, well, there is a life. Yea, there is a life. And he was like, football's life, right? Yea, dude, send it, you're the man. He's like, FUCK!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A guy's dying, you're like, this is the biggest game ever, will we stop, will we not? And he's like, dude, you wanna kill this guy, you're racist.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was thinking about that before, I'm like, dude, how can I position myself as Shannon Sharpe in this whole thing? I was like, I'm scared, I'm scared. I play the game, you watch the game, like Adam Schefter.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So they were all trying to like, put it together on the fly.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, this is actually the first time a guy almost died in 15 years. They always do like, facts about like, this is the first badder, first left handed badder to strike out in 1975. Yeah, they kinda did.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Remember when the Challenger exploded? That was pretty nuts too, right guys?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The team is, they call him Robert Downey Jr. He's like, oh my god, that's terrible. Oh my god, we gotta get down there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wait, so the Avengers are just completely fucked right now? Right now Thanos is winning, dude. Fuck! Damn, there's... What's he been up to?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They got an attitude over there in Hawaii. I'm not saying, you know, I'm not saying if I was Ezra Miller, I'd, you know, I don't condone him. I don't condone the Flash fucking chugging on Hawaiian children.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is that why? Yeah, I mean the guac kinda went to shit too, but.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Don't start joking about your guacamole sticking to the tin lid and being like, tch.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's done, that's done, that looks unsettling. That sucks. My cheese looks smeared.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What the hell is this? The cheese hasn't even spread across my bowl.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it's terrible when bad things like that happen, but I do have a part of me that if Hawkeye won, I couldn't stop laughing. Hawkeye, that's tough.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That way, that sucked too. He got out of his car to check his mail. Yep. He rolled down the hill and got him.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And Waka Flocka Flame was, he was on there just being like, dude, like I don't, I don't kill, I've never killed, I'm not like a gangster rapper. He's like, I used to rap about this stuff, but he's like, dude, I, I'm a nice guy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's like, I would never sell drugs. He's like, I would make millions of dollars. Why would I sell drugs? They're talking about the whole young thug situation. I think there's a lot of rappers that are starting to get a little, like, ooh boy, they can uh...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They can, dude apparently they're, so if you rap about something,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Only if it pertains to a crime that they can prove actually happened.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So like, they can like, he, so if you just say, I killed, they can't, well you said he killed people, but if you like reference anything that can be tied to a crime, they can absolutely use it against you. Like he had a lyric that said like, she got robbed by Tick. That was his, one of his alias was Tick.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Tick and Slug was his alie- was his alie and he was like she got robbed by Tick and they were using that against a lady saying he robbed her and like woah. Tick and Slug. Tick and Slug are sick fucking things dude.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Dude, nickname, nickname games on point. Oh yea, rebrand. Dude, that is actually really nice. They had a...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, they had group chats apparently where they'd be like, yo, did you shoot that guy?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Dude, literally, it's crazy. Crazy, the level of, uh, Just, they shoot, some people shoot. Yea, sometimes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Are they gonna, are they actually gonna, is he gonna be in trouble? They keep saying he's gonna be in trouble for this. They're doing a lock him up. Big time lock, I don't, I don't think so. But that's uh, proof.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I think he, uh, I don't know. They're going to get him for his taxes, I believe, eventually. Oh, the Russian, Russian gate?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You can tell now, the walls are closing in. Did you see Stephen King, Stephen King had a tweet, they're like the Republican, like, research tank or whatever, was like, Joe Biden spent 40% of his presidency on vacation, and Joe Biden, or uh, Stephen King, like, retweeted it with a quote and said, yea, he spent the other 60% kicking ass.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's either fucking with people or, yeaah, it's like a genuine mental disorder. I mean like, of just, not even like, whatever the perception of it is, where you think it's a good per- but being like, yeaah, he kicks ass, meh, it's like, dude, you're a groan.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't think I can read his books anymore. And you want to come out with kick ass. I can't read his books anymore. I really don't, just knowing what the dude's up to, it honestly, I can't separate the art from the artist.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well they're not, yea, they're not being like ostracized by anyone really. No one's ostracized. Only people attacking him are just dudes like, I'm a blue collar worker and he's kicking my ass, I'm sure for that he's kicking my ass. But it's like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, there's a redemption tale too. It's like, is this gonna be the movie that sways- Although a lot of the movies have stunk. We're talking about- There's some movies, he's been doing-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's a box office, that's like a guaranteed box office. Like dude, having your kid taken, making a movie about that, easy. That's all, that's the least I'm gonna make some money. Like dude, what would you do bro? What would you do? What the fuck would you do?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Ask, ask, uh, Andrew Tate's dad. He's living that right now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I have a specific skill set. Tate dude, I was watching videos on Tate, he actually might get busted for trafficking.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They do. I would imagine they do as well, but dude, he has like early seminars he did online about how to, everyone's getting crushed for like their content right now. He did a seminar on how to be a successful webcam entrepreneur.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And like, I think for sex trafficking, there's like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Woman in porn who are trafficked anyway. Like those, those Russian ones. They're still on.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Come on. Come on, dude. Over and over again. Age check. Can I get an age check on her? Yeah, I mean, he's crazy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Dude, all of YSL has their nose out of the mask. I mean, kinda sick on some level.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're all fucking rocking the same Patriot Beak in court. So funny. Dude, you're going to jail for life. You're risking jail for life.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And this was, I was watching, I've been watching a lot of criminal defense lawyers, like break stuff down. And he, this one guy, I think his name is Bruce Rivers, he came under fire because people were like, fuck you dude, you hate Tate, you're a hater.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The uhm, oh yeaah, so they were, he did like a seminar basically on how to start a webcam business. And it was, he's on there being like, you have to control these women's minds, you can't tell them the truth, like blah blah blah. His story was that he,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, he had five girlfriends at the time, and he decided he was like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's like, well fuck, I don't, he's like reading a book about how to make money. He goes, I need assets. He's like, well, if I have five girlfriends, I can have, turn them into assets for me. So he, according to him.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Pimpin'. He even did say on the thing like you could apply what I'm about to tell you to street pimping if you wanted to.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's like, it's all about, but whatever. So then, you know, and again, he's obviously trying to be like sensational and stuff, but his story was that, according to himself,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He called all five of his girlfriends and said, I'm flying you all in here. Sat them down in front of him and said,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm on some G shit right now. You guys are gonna start making me some money with this webcam shit and they're all, they all found out that they were like, he was, they were part of like a six piece relationship.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, you can, well you can, you shouldn't, that's the thing. You can, you should not, it's very mean to do. God dog, how was it?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What's up with all these cigs, dude? You're too young for all these cigs. I like the cigs. Dude, you're gonna fucking get lung cancer, man. They figured this shit out a long time ago. So be it. Oh, you see? Over some cigs, bro.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, you might have been having the aftershocks, as much as you have the aftershocks of a good blowout. You get up and you go, am I going to dump or am I just like vibrating? You know what I'm talking about? Kind of. But anyway, yeah, Tate is uh, I'm sorry for all the talk.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're right, but yea dude, uhm, this guy brought up multiple accounts of him basically being like, I lied to them about how much they make, I didn't pay my taxes, I would put it all into Bitcoin. Time out for a second.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, Sean is left to take a gigantic shit right in the middle of the thing. Grab a seat. What's up man?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You were a troubled youth, were you not?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm talking about 18 year olds, I'm 36. I'd be, I'm talking about getting naked more so. I was the worst. I remember they had to do jumping jacks. Naked?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's called discipline. That's what's in the middle. Lucy breakers, tiny capsules break open and unleash a burst of flavors like mint, mango, berry, and more. Ooh, I love mango.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Lucy has a stronger and longer lasting flavor, not like those gas station brands. Personal endorsement required. Shane loves the mango flavor.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Save yourself a trip to the gas station. Subscribe along. Also, especially if you're in the Midwest, a lot of people sell drugs out of gas stations.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah. YSL associates were selling drugs. Tickin' slug. Tickin' slug, right. Toe jammin' Earl.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Subscribe to Alliance, you always got a box ready to go. Get $10 off at first. Order on lucy.co when you use our promo code drenched at checkout.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. You have a mushy girl? No, I've restrained women from hitting me though. Restrained? Yo, bear hug.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright. What was more fun here or downstairs?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If we had to do an exclusive thing where if you do this one you can't do that one, which one would you do?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Dude, I had, I had a, it's not gonna sway anyone, but I had a very intense dream last night.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Man, I was spinning out the other day, this was pissing me the fuck off.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't think you're allowed to ask that question to POCs. Do you want to go ask that?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So he came over, this is how I know, he came over and he starts throwing punches in the air right in my face, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then he starts backing up towards the lady. And the lady was like visibly like uncomfortable. So I made eye contact with her to let her know if shit goes down, I got her back. Right? See, they know you're gonna do that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, he fills the eye contact going back and forth. Okay. So he breaks the eye contact by looking at me with the, I wish you would.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I looked away to defer, I was like, I don't wanna fucking escalate this, but then I looked back right away, cause I didn't want him to close the dents on me without me seeing him, right? So when I looked away, I looked back.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Also real quick, Sam said something that reminded me that I didn't finish my, uh, thoughts on this. About how, if your lady rides with you, she has to go down with your dick. If you have erectile dysfunction, and it stops working, that was her choice. She fucked up. Right? You make bad decisions, you gotta live with it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No one can sustain getting too high every single week. Trust me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you get too high for this podcast, we're gonna have a talk. I know, I'm in trouble. I'm in trouble.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We're getting serious stuff done here, dude. I know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Welcome, welcome Anthony Moore to the podcast, the Stunner Dads podcast. Thank you for doing it, Anthony.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Was this created in mind? Yeah, we wanted to try to see if we could like put people in a deeply relaxed state because I feel like especially comedy podcast is such a frenetic charged energy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This was the original vision to put someone basically in a trance in another room isolated and have them participate in the podcast as well.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well that's, I was explaining that the other day to Spud and we first started doing this podcast. We'd be so fucking high, but it was never, we never really ever told it. We didn't tell anyone that's exactly what we're doing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Damn. How's that? What is it like talking to strangers at video games? Is it like-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's always so many voices going on, it's like, I don't know. I always got thrown off trying to pay attention. What's what? I get called, I get killed in Call of Duty in like four seconds.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're a gender fluid assassin. Can you kill other people?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That game was fucked up, dude. My brother used to play that. It's like tag? Man hunts, so you're just going around viciously and brutally


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, my older brother moved back home at one point. I was out of the house, but it was my older brother then my little brother Billy. And Billy was like in high school and he'd wake up every night at like two in the morning to my older brother playing manhunt in the bedroom.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The older slut? Yeah. Damn. It was a full older slut.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's nothing better. What are you, I guess 14, 15 years old? Mhm. That's always nice, yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's probably a good, it's actually, yea, it definitely does like, call forward everything out of a young man. Throw a fucking 15 year old with like 17 year old chicks, you're just like, yea dude I'll study science. I'll fucking learn science dude.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, well, they're, they've won underground, I'm telling you. So let's, let's let's have been quiet. The real ones. Yeah, I guess so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Now they're getting paid, the big bucks. Yeah, that is something that's uh, it's cool, almost in like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] For even like, like richer, like rich chicks have gotten into that of like, I'm gonna be an escort.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Was he also came from a catholic education? They were all from the neighborhood. Nice dude. That's pretty nuts. That has your take on Facebook being like, well, don't suck birds under the ale.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] True, that'd be a terrible thing if you thought a guy, a malound, or maligned is the word. People, people, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Not a, not a drug addict, he probably died of a, some sort of disease. You thinking like he got le... No, people like, people like this guy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know. I don't know who my enemy is. Go ahead. Are you letting them come to you or are you looking for them? I'm gonna let them come to me. Why don't you cash your line right now?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No. No, no, no. I've no idea. I don't know if I've ever had like a true blue enemy. I've never fully, at least I can't remember or think of.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You can't, you can't get your asshole scootered over there quick. Did you ever have to clean out a hoarder's house?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, that's a fuck- that's a real fucked up thing to have to do. Being a hoarder is like, really crazy. Like you can't have anyone in your house anymore. You're never allowed to throw away a house.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just spend like 40 bucks at Five Below and just put it outside their house. They're gonna be like, oh shit, I gotta bring this in, fucking put it with the other stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, so you list all your trash and then people are like, let me get that, I'm gonna get that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Dude, I think there's gonna be a big business and old dog shit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And maybe it lets off some sort of gas. I think people are gonna find out there's a useful tool. That is true. For just tons of dog shit. You don't see dry white dog shit anymore. You never see it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Matt, you should try it for the Patreon. Dude, I'm telling you man, I'm like, if someone's gonna figure out something to do with dog shit, it's gonna be... I mean, they make gas out of trash now, I think. I think they take trash and they make some sort of like fuel source out of it. I think trash makes gas. That's what I mean, that's what I'm saying, yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's pretty cool that you can turn trash. I do often worry about trash.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But you would be moving in tandem with, with earth. Yea, that makes, that checks out. Yea. And then, aw man dude. But wouldn't your lack of gra, wouldn't you have like way less gravity or something?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, but you would move, you would start floating away from Earth when you move. I feel like you would just be- Yeah, you need enough boosters to push yourself back in. What are you being attracted by if you're in outer space and you're floating? Are you floating towards a black hole basically?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm trying to figure out what's pulling, what's being, what's everything being pulled towards in space. If you let me, like, if you let a balloon go up in the air, it's going, you know, there's like a certain rhyme or reason towards what it's floating to. I guess everything, if you let it go, would start floating, or you were saying butterly, we'd start orbiting basically.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, you're saying it's like bending the fabric of space and that kind of makes it? I don't know, I'm already at the limits of my own confidence.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You think so? I think so. What's the simplified version of time and gravity?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Good point. Fair enough. Yeah, those books, they do just make shit up, dude. They're like, actually, you know it's, you're moving through time faster if you're at the top of a mountain versus at the bottom, and it's like, dude, give me something useful, man.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I mean apparently that is true though. Apparently things do move, like time goes by slower if you're up higher.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know. Danny, can you look that up? I think time goes by slower.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] True. That's why first gear is so loose on a bike.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Damnit. Says what? Said the grass toasting. Crushed by it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do you think we went to the moon? Uh, I think so. It is, I see people saying that we didn't, but I think we went to the moon. I don't think we went. You don't think we went? I think that proves my point.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, especially if you go with the cars back then, they were pretty like, they were made out of like heavy metal. Yeah, and uhm.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's a fair point actually. Technologically, did we have, I mean the Russians said they were going up there, or was everybody just lying about it? That would be crazy if they all were just lying, just building like nuclear weapons the whole time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's a fair point. That is a fair point. I don't know, I mean.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When the first? No, the Hidden Figures movie. Yeah, what was that? I think they were just trying to get to space. Orbit or something? Orbit the Earth or something? Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, we could have orbited the earth back then with those levels of video games.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What kind of aliens do you think, who do you think hit? Aliens came down, collected, and came back, and went back? Uhm, I think some probably.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well my thing is like, do you believe there are ancient cities that were like so like millions of years ago? Answers, yes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't need any proof, it's like, yea, for sure, why? It sounds fuckin' sick. It sounds sick, yea.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. Anytime someone says the city's this old, I'm like, I think they're older, actually.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, some guy with like probably terrible eyes looked at like an old mercury throm- that can't be trusted, the old mercury thermometer.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, true. Yeah, exactly, being like, it's nice outside.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think the first thermometer was like two stories high.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Dude, these guys started doing meteorology like a long time ago and it freaked people out. I might be thinking of a different device. Maybe a barometer, maybe. But I don't know. Oh, that makes sense. Or the first thing that's supposed to measure the atmosphere, whatever that thing's called. The barometer, I think.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You think that's what it is when you're like, do you ever get real scared at night time for no reason? It's probably used to be like, hundreds of millions of years of your like, entire organism being in terror eight hours a night.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm gonna fucking kill myself. This is so fucking hard.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I have yet to wake up like extremely flaccid. That's gonna be a tough time, dude.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah dude, that'll suck dude. Aw man. Waking up flassed. That'll never be me. That's crazy when dudes just go and completely get to the age where they just sign off and they're like, I'll never get my dick hard ever again. I've ruined the day. That'll be- I'd rather be diagnosed with ALS.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, there's a problem with that, apparently. There's too many people choosing to euthanize themselves now in, I think, like, Scandinavian countries. Who decides what's too much? It's just, it's an alarming chunk of the population where, like, we didn't know this many people were gonna do this. Maybe take the fucking hint, then.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know how satisfying it is to do an asian voice as loud as possible for all your friends and have them laugh as hard as they can?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's the thing, it's like, it is funny. Sorry. Dude, just saying, Eric?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh dude, I can get into the subtle. Koreans more breathy. Koreans more breathy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Chinese is more precise and exact, and then Japanese is very just almost like beautiful. It's like, uh, uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Terrifying language. Well, they get all like, they'll get all fancy on you, too. You meet a German guy, they're like, aww. They get a little bit of French stuff. They do, man.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What time are we at? We're at thumbs up time. Oh, let's go.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I like the kind of like, like that fucking guy in Vietnam.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Reenacting Bud Dwyer would be kinda tight. If it was you going, uuuh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, that's a, uh, that's an unfortunate aspect, but it needs to be done. I don't know if it does, that's the thing. Uploading, uh, I'm done, I'm done with this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes. It's ridiculous how good it is. Very nice. My headshots are portrait mode.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause every- it's always everyone's head, but if you had a picture of just you outside by yourself, that'd be tight. I'm talking billboards, you need full body. So you're fucking UU Squire.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A lot of, a lot of the Zen art, there's the, you know, nature, and then they show people as like very small and significant things, so. It kind of would be next level if you did that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like guys, I'm going zen this year. I am zen. Yeah, fuck it. You're a pretty zen dude. You're a pretty zen dude.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Exactly, we'll see what happens now. I don't know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I always wonder about that. How do you, you know, how do you not...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think there's a way to not do that, I'm just, I don't know. Did you like not die totally confused and miserable and scared and terrified and all that stuff? Yea, you fucking die early. You think so? Yea.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know, is that a myth of like when you see like Avatar and the old dude finally dies and he's like, gooo, it's your time, it's your time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Fake coma would be nice. I'm gonna get you. Fake coma would be sick. Fake coma? Go into the hospital and see how.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just a break for like five days, dude. How do you think you're going? Heart, right? I don't know, I used to think that, but I think the heart's strong, I don't know, I don't want to jinx myself.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think, I don't know, I got both versions.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I got both versions in the family, so I don't know. Although, big mentia. I could go the mentia route.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I could live to 80 and just completely forget my whole family. And then just fucking, like, fist fight a Jamaican lady and die.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's like ha- like forgetting someone completely and like through some weird magic of love just being like, wait, it's all coming together.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's a, it's a terrifying glimpse into female psychology. Wasn't there one, wasn't there one in World War II?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, see what Ryan Gosling fought for. He definitely nails-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That would be so nice if that was the case.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] She did hear some weirdo in the woods just eat her butt until she remembers. Until she remembers. Then she goes, huh? I remember this. What happened to the first guy? Why'd she leave him? Did he love her still? He probably died. It's a girl fantasy. He like died and left her a bunch of money. Then she like sucked some guy's dick that was bigger and had like carpentry skills. And she's like, this works too.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] She got the best of both worlds. She got security from the guy and then she got like the passion from like the weird troubled loner.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Have you ever encountered semen in the wild? Probably, hold on. I gotta think about it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know if I have actually. What's the penalty for that? If you see semen? No, I mean if you see something, if you see something, say something. I think if I'm...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, but like, what's- Okay, obviously if you jerk off in public, you get arrested and that's fine. What if you just dump your comment public? If you just dump, like, a load out of a disco.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well if you got caught like putting it on the sidewalk, you just like gotta load from a dixie cup and just went and dumped it on the sidewalk.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You can't really get in trouble. I don't think you can get in trouble. You could say this is a loogie. Yea, well you could say it's a load. This is my load. This is my load.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I'm pretty sure it's sterile too. It's not gonna get any, well, unless you, you know, unless you got the bow.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, if you like- If you break into a sperm bank? Well no, if you came in a condom. Cause you'd be breaking and entering, but if like, if say we had sex and I was a woman.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If we had sex and I took the condom and like, took it and injected myself with it, I didn't commit a crime. Once sperm's out of your body, it's literally public domain.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. But if it was in a sperm bank, I'd be at least breaking and entering. But if I say I'm in there to donate and I like took like four cancers.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know. Should be a serious crime, but I don't think it is. But either way, we'll get back to that. What were we firing? We were firing. Let's put a pin in there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Thank you Hamilton Devices for sponsoring the show. Innovators in Vape Tech.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Vape like you're in the god damn future with Hamilton Devices. Uhm, another personal endorsement. I-I do like Hamilton Devices. I like the star- the Starship is, you gotta be a pretty intense dude for that. They're actually, they're giving away a Starship. Uh, if you go to the show notes, you can click a link and you can maybe get a free one where you smoke three cartridges at the same time. And there's the gamer. Again, it's- it's-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] These vapes give you full flavor, huge clouds, and work with extremely thick oils. Hamilton Devices is giving away a pair of Starship vapes to one lucky Matt and Shane fan. Enter at the link in the show notes. Winner will be selected on January 17th. But if you're ready to drop some coin, go to hamiltondevices.com and use code DRENCHED15 for 15% off.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Buyer must be 21 or older. That's hamiltondevices.com. Code drenched 15 for 15% off. Nice.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No. Yea, I don't, I don't have that either. When I see like a super old couple I just go like, jeez, jeez Louise.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It happens. That's my favorite traffic fatality is when an old person can't drive and like mows down people at like 12 miles an hour. That's a nice one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Personal training's wild. I mean, there's obviously good bros out there, but there's some- Obviously there are good bros. Yes, there are some Siths, though, among the personal training community. It's fucking nuts.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I can't, I can't juice. Take it to the next level.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Could be time. Dude, I'm, right now, I'm, I'm very into just...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A little bit of stuff now. I think it works 50 times better than, this might sound so stupid, but it's like, weed, caffeine, I think I figured, alcohol, I figured it out. Moderation. Just a little bit, dude.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That was a good night. That was fun. You know what I mean? But dude, even with weed, I swear to God, it's just, you just need a tiny, teeny, teeny bit of it, dude. Just a teeny, tiny bit. So you're just, I'm Matt+.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Dude, I was spazzing on caffeine for a while, so now I've titrated my caffeine intake. I've totally turned the dial on the weed intake. Actually, now that I say that, that night of helium, the second night, I was so fucking high.