[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The whole things getting levelled is big in their minds. So it makes sense to me that they would come up with anti-kaiju measures like


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, I mean the gap between the previous Mad Max movie and Fury Road was like 20 years or something like that. Right.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't, I don't, you know, I don't mind. I can wait. Uhm. George Miller. Yeah, the writer's strike might have eaten into the time. I don't know. But if you watch it again, I watched it the other night.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you manage to talk to a controller or another plane with the radio, which you have to figure out first to be fair, and inform them of your quagmire, the controllers will be able to get a flying instructor for their aircraft on the line. There are real-world examples of this happening. The second thing you'll need in your favour is that the plane's autopilot is active and you have it take over,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Acting in Edinburgh, uh, been listening for years, few years, and, uh, when he's closing up the store at McDonald's, which is what he does to support his student life, just wanted to know, did, you know, uh, who, which of us went to university, uh, did we stay in student halls, any funny and drunken moments, et cetera.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I, uh, I hardly did any work, uh, I really regretted the course I'd taken, I did computing, I hated it, um, it was very boring, didn't really make friends with anybody on the course. I went to university with a couple of my mates from Bournemouth and Mrs. F.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In the final year, uhm, I think we went into, we went out probably at less times than, less than ten times. Because it was just me and my two mates from Bournemouth and we basically just stayed and drank little lager and watched football on telly and terrible game shows.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, so yeaah, can't complain. And, uh, I wish I'd done something I was interested in.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, honestly, you meet people when they're grown ups, and sometimes it's really interesting, you know, they've got this whole life story, and they'll remember things that you've forgotten about school. Which is always interesting to me, when people remind you of something that you did, and you remind them, do you remember the time? Like, oh god, I've forgotten about that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's, it's really interesting. So I think it's like fills in the gaps in your life.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Connecting with your past. So, I mean, going back to a school reunion for Bournemouth School, I would go in a heartbeat just to see where half of them ended up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, so, uh, she says most of the responses I get always include one of the following. The Dark Knight, Interstellar, Inception, and maybe Shawshank Redemption. Christopher Nolan has an absolute choke cold on guys, it's crazy. Really? She says I can't lie, I just went to see Oppenheimer and I do love Interstellar.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In defense of Lewis, my friend is a huge Man City fan and corroborates Carl Walker being a significantly obnoxious person.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You really did, yeaah. Just a week ago you were like, oh you guys need to do more intros, and this is why we can't do them, cause you just hog them all. Leaps in.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] On that topic as well, not to bring up bad, well, maybe not bad news, but kind of a, you're turning 40 this year, aren't you? I am, in less than a month.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] See, I'm just in the middle, I'm just a 40-something now. Just like, uh, you know, in the middle of my, not quite 50, but, uh. You're the filling to our trifle sandwich. That's right, yeaah. I'm the cream inside the pie.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Did you say here's to another 15 years? Now get back to work.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If I did a full piss on somebody, or in their bed, they would be drenched. Like, it wouldn't even just be a little...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It wouldn't be like a little spot or puddle or whatever. Like, when I piss I go big. It would flood the whole building. It's a huge piss. It would be one of them things where I'd have to have those...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then some. I started another run right after, but I, I, I quit out cause I think I just played too much, but I'm down for more. I've had a break now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's gotta be good, we don't want any subpar emails, we want really really good ones.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Another American thing that I've noticed, like, not recently, but maybe more recently, is they say, right? Like, you're saying something and you're like, oh, I hate that. Right? Yeah, right. What? What are you saying to me? That doesn't make sense to me, but they say it a lot.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Blue Ridge Rockfest 2023. This happened on Thursday, September the 7th, and it went through till Sunday, September the 10th. There you go. Uh, the, the 2023 lineup. Yep. For Blue Ridge Rockfest.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wow. Wow. Slipknot? Pantera?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Holy shit, man. Out of this whole lineup, the only person I would actually even remotely wanna see is probably Danzig, that's it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Now with the lowest tickets and camping prices of any four day rock festival in America, that's what the slogan is.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's time, it's weird with like the older they get, maybe it's different with a 14 year old, but certainly with an 11 year old, there's like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We find now, like, if he's tired, he'll play up a lot more. But he'll be really sassy and just kinda like, uh, like, uh, obstructive in weird ways and stuff. Like, he's, he's like, he's like pushing boundaries and stuff, but it's not like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's not awful, but it's just, it's just annoying, you know, it's angsty. But it's only like, it's only like if he's really tired and then, you know, something doesn't go his way or something like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The older your kids get, the quicker they get bored as well. You're doing something, and boredom is just the worst thing, the worst affliction that they could ever suffer through.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, ten minutes, yeah. Come on. I mean, like, sometimes I say I'm like, you think I wanna do this, like, all day long? Like, it's non-stop, I have to do shit I don't wanna do all day long. You're bored for five minutes, I'm fuckin' bored the minute I wake up, until the minute I go to bed.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I hope it's a beautiful visual, like one of those, uh, you know, maps, like, uh, like, uh, uh, you know, with the, with the big balls and the small balls.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I imagine, like, when I hear this, I just imagine somebody hibernating and then, you know, coming, coming around after a long hibernation just being really horny. Just getting out there and just being like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It must be weird to, to hook up with somebody that you went to school with after a couple years and they've changed. Yeah, they know. Or a lot sort of thing because you have that familiarity with them and maybe a bit of trust through the familiarity, but


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay. That's gotta be one of the worst ones we've had for sure.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're also gonna happen. It's gonna be a success and then friends gonna turn around and say, we did it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think the place that they moved to is better anyway, it's a lot more natural looking, it's bigger, they can build bigger enclosures and stuff. I think they'll be able to better take care of all the animals and stuff there too, and they can get more animals, it's much bigger.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, and honestly, Longleat isn't branded that well either, it's just the name of a big country estate, like it's, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, when we went, it was early on too, like Bristol Zoo was still open, and we went and it was packed. There was tons of people there. Oh wow. Yeah. Well I'm wrong then. I'll be right back.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think, uh, I feel like that's the kind of place where you wouldn't really need to worry about people getting in or out of it, right? I think for the most part, most people don't want to go anywhere near there. And then for the people that do want to go near there, well, I mean, you can't.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I wouldn't go out of my way to stop him. Just let him crack on.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh wait, so did you ever go on a date with any of these people, like to share your research or anything? No?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I saw a clip where I think it was two friends. They were like chatting to each other and they had these avatars of like these very attractive people or whatever. And when it came down to it, they went on to the, uh, onto the thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, uh, the video thing and then it revealed them on the video and they knew each other and they were just like, they, they just, they, they, they were dead. They were like laughing so hard.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Be, share it with us, share it with the class. You know what, I'm so done with the whole thing, I don't even wanna.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Maybe not like full nappies. It would make sense if they were wearing them though, because you're not gonna take, yeah, like Lewis said, you're not gonna just take the suit off and pinch a loaf, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, for sure. You reckon? They got those, they got like those NASA, uhm, spacesuit, uhm, pee extractor things. I'm sure they have. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you're having sex with another person and you're both in fursona, do you have to make animal noises while you're doing it?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like uhm, you know, if you're dressed up as like a donkey, do you have to like, you know, do the donkey sounds? Stay in full character? I don't know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If I was invited by a sorting hat to fuck it, I might consider it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It just had a collection of gizzards.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What a thought. Thank you very much for that. You're welcome.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Now how long have they been together at this point? Like a couple of months. What, living together?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That is what exactly what the optician said. She said, that is a beautiful eye. And I said, thank you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It is a weird compliment, yeah. Well, when I had my prostate biopsy done and the guy was like, you've got a really clean back passage, I was like, thanks.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Thanks very much. It's not often you get a compliment like that from somebody. It's like, you know, it's really, it was really spacious in there. I was able to do all the work I needed to do. No problem. Uh, no obstacles or anything. Thanks.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. Sure. I don't think you should be banned in the first place. Not, not for joking around, but also if, if somebody came to my chat and was like, I just want to get my gigantic tits out and suffocate you. I want to put your face in between my big titties and I want to, I want to,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's weird though, right? Because like, uh, I'm sure that, uh, I'm sure that people, I'm sure that females receive messages from people all the time saying, I want you to choke on my wiener or whatever, but like, I never get, I never get messages.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You haven't had, you've had a couple of dates and none of them have been bad. That's one side of the story.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, there hasn't been a big exodus or, uh, you know, just a slight migration.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, no, but that's a, that's an extreme case, right? Well, I'm talking about, you know, your, your clear-up-able ones.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Holy crap. That's how, funnily enough, that's how most of my dates go.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I don't know, it's kinda nice to move around a little bit too though. It's like a good excuse to get out and have a little stretch, maybe like, uh, you know, gently puke down an alleyway on the way to the next one. I'm a sit tight guy. You gotta have a smoke or whatever. I don't mind, I don't mind moving. I like to, I like to sit tight for a bit though.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like I don't, I don't want to just have one and then go, but like, you know, maybe like two, two or three and then onto the, onto another one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's all just old garbage that they've accumulated. They try to make it look like it's cool and trendy, but it's actually just trash. And they're too cheap to buy actual stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah. I don't know, I'd still go though, like, sounds alright. Sounds okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm interested in the, I'm interested in the follow-up text after the fact saying, can I come to your flat?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, but equally, do you think that there's somebody out there who will think that that was a good day?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If she's consistently always like that, is there somebody out there that is willing to put up with it?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because I can tell you pretty much what they believe if you want, uh, if you, if you need to know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They just want money no matter what. It doesn't matter how. They don't care who they dupe or take advantage of to get it. They're getting the money. Maybe that should just be their slogan.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Full transparency. We don't give a shit about anything except for lots of money.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, so take it all with a pinch of salt, you know? It's weird that people, it's weird that they do it in the first place, pretend to care about stuff, but then it's even weirder when people believe them, right? Like, I know somebody who is very against


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Everything. You know, these people that are just, everything is some big conspiracy or there's, everything is designed to keep a certain class of people down or whatever. All this, but loves Amazon.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We'll defend it to death, loves Amazon. Like, it's just, I don't understand. Like, I don't understand how you can have all of these big, uhm, you know, uh, qualms and takes and stuff, and then defend just another shitty company, really. Like, I mean, that's convenient. Do they make money from Amazon like that?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, absolutely, but this person does not see it, but it's odd, right? Choosing, choosing what to be enraged by and then just having such a double standard with the stuff that you like. I'm loving it. I'm loving it too.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My thing with religion, and maybe this is not a true thing or whatever, but I always feel like religious people, I feel like I get along with somebody who is religious and I would tolerate their beliefs or whatever, I wouldn't mind so much, but I always feel that they're


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Their, their past, like their childhood and stuff is monumentally fucked up and therefore will fuck them up in the future, sort of thing, you know what I mean?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] All of that stuff. I think for a lot of this stuff though, even the religious stuff to an extent, I mean, it's not that consequential, I don't think. I think for all this-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know, I think for all this stuff, there's, there's, there's definitely, if it turns into a relationship or goes anywhere, there's probably some compromise needed along the way, but.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I still think that you can be a perfectly nice, lovable person and just, you know, have beliefs or whatever that may not fit in with somebody else or whatever. I think you'd be surprised. I think you'd probably be.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Most people, I'm not saying everyone, but most people aren't insane with it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I mean, I'm not saying, you know, I'm not saying that you should, you should go out of your way to find somebody who's completely contrary to yourself or whatever, but.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think people build some of this stuff up to be a way bigger deal than it actually is. Like the impact of it, you know, like somebody believing in crystals or whatever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's not gonna come up all the time, is it? Like, it'll come up once in a while, and you could probably just be like, oh whatever, I don't like that, but if you like it, whatever, I'm glad you have something you like, you know what I mean? It's not a huge deal. Religion's a little bit different, I guess, but even then, there's degrees of it, I feel like, anyway.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I just think it would be a shame to lose somebody who is potentially really, somebody that you could really either hit it off with or even just be really good friends with. You know, you might have some things in common, but then obviously there's things you don't have in common. But to just dismiss somebody at face value because of these one or two things, I don't think is right.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But if everybody's got it so sewn up and everything, you know, knowing what to avoid and finding the perfect person or whatever,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, I know what it is. I think, I think, I think, I mean, we've, well, we've done this podcast for seven years. I mean, I wouldn't, I wouldn't turn up every, every week if I didn't like you guys. Like, I'm glad that you guys are yourselves and that you actually


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] 19 going on 20. I was over here on a gap year pretty much as a holiday maker. I was in Jersey. Between finishing high school and then going to college, I came here for a year. I worked at Blockbuster Video. It was a time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes, she came to Canada after as well. That's so good. She came, she, she lived in Canada during my


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sure, but like, even with like, nut allergies and stuff, I think that you're pretty laid back with it all. You know, you just kinda say to them, oh, can you just make sure there's no nuts in that, or I will die. Like, it's not, I don't think that's- I mean, that's not a problem at all.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I think like all that stuff, I don't think you come across, uhm, as kind of, uhm, overbearing with it or, or obsessed with, with any of it. You know, you just kind of say like, oh yeah, I'm a vegan and I have not allergies. Like you, like I've never.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've never been out with you where it's, you know, it's come across as like weird or awkward or anything. So I don't worry too much about it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, there was literally nothing for you in that whole place. But I just ate some chips in the end anyway, they just gave me some chips at this point. You just picked the bacon off. And then you told them it was my birthday, and we had a birthday cake as well.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That was the only thing that was edible for you. Yeah, but I mean, it's eh, you know, like, it's...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, it's, uh, yeah, I, I, like, uh, yeah, I know what you're saying and I, I, I agree. I think that's, I think that's a good thing. I think if you find somebody who can do those kinds of things as well, I think, well, for me personally, I think that's great. I like that, you know?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, you don't have to make a big deal about a lot of this stuff. I know some people like to, and if you find somebody that also likes to, great, but uhm, but there's always a simpler way to do it, I feel like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] At least you got... Top 20 this? Like top 10%? You managed to, uhm, you managed to hit a home run on your first date as well, which not a lot of people can say they have done, so, you know, there's at least that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right? It's not like, to me it's not like- You think what some of these, sometimes, you think it's people are recording them, like, to put it on TikTok or whatever? Cause that's weird, eh? It's more like a prank. Yeah, to pull out prawns and have a knife collection and stuff like that, just seems...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Really odd that somebody would, would do, would do all that stuff. I feel like sometimes when, when really odd stuff happens, I feel like, okay, where's, where's the camera? Like somebody's recording this, trying to get a reaction or something like that, you know?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] She made you watch a boob job porno. Made you watch it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If they're all like that laid back about it, that's not the first time a rodeo has happened in the flat or in the house, right? They're used to this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He just doesn't say that he lives with his mum because maybe it's off-putting.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then, you know, maybe his mom is just not home that often, but maybe this time she just happened to, she might not have even been home when that was happening. She might've come back after or something, you know, just snuck in.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Some of them are just too weird, man. Like, it just, it really highlights the fact that there are some... We've learned, we've all learned a lot today.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it's one of the funniest stand-up specials I've seen in recent times. It's brilliant. Uhm, he's very much an alternative comedian, it's like a character, uh, it's brilliant. He's absolutely brilliant. He's done a few things on Adult Swim, but I think he deserves to be huge, cause he's genuinely original and funny.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I guess. I mean, it's much more, it's very, very clever. Uhm, and he's excellent. He does audience interaction stuff as well. And you can see he's almost breaking character because it's very funny. Uhm, but he's just superb.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's not a, not a low-key channel. They've got like 3 million subs or whatever. And they do 18th century cooking. There is a video that they put out that is just Joe Perra on their show. He did like multiple appearances on the, on the Townsend channel.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In recent times, I think Mrs. F and I are watching it. It's very, very dense, uhm, and layered. And I think Mrs. F and I agree that the closest you could come to explaining what it's like is like Margaret Atwood style of almost fantasy, uhm, sort of post-apocalyptic.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Brilliant, uhm, and, uh, I'm, we haven't finished it yet. We're about eight episodes in. It's fantastic, I recommend it. It's not a casual watch. You don't just chuck it on and do the ironing. You need to be paying attention. It's multi-layered. It's a superb show. One of the best shows I've seen in a while, so I recommend it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is kinda different, uhm, it's almost like a background thing rather than the foreground. Looks like we're at a can of peaches, Tom. Well, we'll have to go down to Zombie Town and get some more. You know, it's not like that. It's not a procedural, how would you survive the apocalypse? It's more like, what would humanity look like? Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Which is oddly enough, they've got a building in Twickenham, and I went there to do a course in writing for journalism, because I was doing some film review stuff at the time, if you remember, I did film reviews and things for a little bit, for a website, and I thought I want to get better at this, and maybe I could learn how to write properly. We went to the course, we were there for two weeks, and then they shut the course down.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But the planing the door off, this guy, one of my viewers, shout out to Elliot, he sent me this big how-to with diagrams and everything about how to take the door off and propping it up on a crowbar when you lift it up so you can do it one man, how to plane it, what directions to plane it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I know he was really sick uhm, with like drugs and he had some kind of health problems related to that as well.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sexual addiction, also known as sex addiction, is a state characterized by compulsive participation or engagement in sexual activity, particularly sexual intercourse, despite negative consequences. The concept is contentious. Neither of the two major mainstream medical organizations categor- categorization systems recognize it as a real medical condition.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes, I believe so, but this dog is talented. It can do everything.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like a runny one? No, no, no, just like a poop. But it was like, so the problem is dogs are very much built around routine. They love routine.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But, so those guys and gals who are playing it for, they've, oh, I've just hit my 500th game, right? You know, those, that's not the biggest sort of chunk of the pro audience, if you like. Like, this is interesting, because I was talking about this the other night.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, I don't want to get into games too much, but let's just talk about the way Dota's changed since I started working in it 10 years ago. Sorry, 11. Uh, it used to be...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then it grew from there and it probably peaked in terms of like the production side of things and the price pool and everything around TI6, TI7, TI8. And then we had like things like it went to China and it wasn't.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I always thought that people would say these things semi ironically, but they really do become part of language that people will use in a serious way. Like, you know, the one that annoys me at the moment is, it's giving.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's giving humble, but it's also giving look at me. You know, it's like it's giving. So you describe something like it could be anything. Like you walk into a coffee shop, it's giving cozy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know, do they? By the way, I've just calculated 500 days of Dota. I've played just under 500 days.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I installed a mod called A Better Start, which gives you a bunch of resources and makes things like healing from injuries quicker, research quicker, engineering quicker, you build things quicker, cause the game gets out of control really quickly and I wanted to try and figure out


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But don't, don't set it in the fucking thirties. Like, who no one gives a shit about that era. I'm sorry, it's a fucking boring era to play. You just set it in the thirties and they've got like revolvers and canes and umbrellas. Fuck off.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And don't try to Ironman it, uhm, just because it does crash occasionally.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, I haven't. Oh my god, send me some pictures, I'll get those on my aura frame.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Are you saying to me, if I bring my aura frame over to Lewis's house, I could sync up my aura frame with his and steal his pictures and then I could take one home?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, I was surprised when we arrived at the, just outside the Walt Disney Park, uh, Disneyland Paris Park, we arrived by train.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, like I told you guys, uh, last time, uh, so you, you, I mean, the train station is basically a smack in the middle of the whole thing, but it's not.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Technically on the Disneyland grounds, right? There's like a security thing that you have to go through or whatever. So just outside of all the security, I was surprised to see many Nigerian tat sellers and ticket scalpers for Disneyland.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] To flag down a scalper, like, it doesn't make any fuckin' sense to me. Like, it's not, it's like an hour train from the centre of Paris. I mean, and any other way you're getting there is probably by train, or by taxi, or whatever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I don't know, I mean, I didn't pursue it any further, but it was like, uh, there were a lot of them. Like, we were like, no, sorry, sorry, no, no, like, there was like tons of them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, sure. I mean, I get it. Like, you know, if you're selling a ticket because somebody couldn't make it or whatever, there's a Seinfeld episode about that, right? There is indeed. With the opera. But, you know, I get it. If you're just trying to quickly sell a ticket because you're not intending to go or whatever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Why would you stop? Yeah, and for a show, I get it, you know, but like, I mean, Disneyland tickets are not cheap. Right. Not cheap. I mean, I feel like it's the kind of place you go and you're somewhat organized before you get there. Yeah, I agree with that. Even just somewhat.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Not, oh yeaah, I've got a stick with cloth at the back of it, I've just got off the train and I really have to get into Disney.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right. Where's the scalpers? You know, like it's, fuck me. I just don't, I can't imagine that. I would love, I'd love to hear from somebody who bought, who's ever bought a ticket to Disney from a scalper.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was just talking to Flax before we started. There is a heliport at Disneyland Paris, so maybe they arrive by helicopter and they seek out scalpers immediately because they're like, this is a last minute thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I want to, I want to, I want to do one of New York City, uh, one day. I'm not like, I wouldn't mind doing the Grand Canyon, although it's lower on the list for me. New York City, I would love to go on a helicopter and London, I would love to go on a helicopter as well. I think that'd be so fucking cool.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, yeah, but if you charter it, you don't even have to go up high. You can be like, don't take us all the way up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's been married to his wife for like 50 years or something.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Richard Branson. I think they met before he was like, big time. And have stayed married all the way through, yeah. Which is, uh, not a very common occurrence, I'd say. Well, not according to Wikipedia, apparently. Not nowadays.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, back then, they used to smuggle tons of cocaine and stuff on airlines, like it was a different, uh-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They didn't even search you or anything back then. I know this because I saw the movie Blow, starring Johnny Depp, and that's how they did it. That's how they ferried all the...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Before you start, is there anything mentioning that he doesn't sleep at night and he only takes like these crazy 10 minute power naps all throughout the day? No sir.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think they're really bitchy towards each other. I bet you'd never see Jeff Bezos and Bill Gates at the same place ever. Cause they're probably both like, I think when you're that rich and probably famous or whatever, you don't like any other people.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You excuse yourself from all that, like, you know, when you're at that level. Why are you going? I feel like the only people that go to things like that are the people who are


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Climbing the ladder, you know, like they're trying to network and open up opportunities. If you're a billionaire, what the fuck are you doing going to?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, he's just got a house on there, and uh, probably, he's probably got a bay for his boat on there, um, he might have a landing pad for his hot air balloon on there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, some of them are super fucking nice. I remember going to a couple of like pretty nice cottages when I was younger with like friends, parents or whatever. Usually they're like passed down in families. I'm like my one friend.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sometimes it's a lot of work depending, like if, you know, you haven't been to the place, like, at all during the year and it's, it's a bit, you know, musky and shit when you turn up, but like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know, I don't know if I would do it personally, but I can see the appeal for sure.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you've got five million bucks and somebody's selling an island for a hundred thousand, like, y'know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is, is in, uh, is on this as well. And the last time I saw her on something, she was on SAS, okay, she was on SAS, and she was there for like two days and started crying because she missed her kids so much. And I feel like maybe she'll just do that again.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like if she feels like she's gonna get voted out or whatever, I think she'll just start crying saying she misses her kids and she just wants to go home anyway sort of thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It is a bit of a reach. I am a celeb, get me out of here, 2023. Okay. Who are the celebrities? Uh, Nigel Farage.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Nick Picard, I don't know who Nick Picard is. Josie Gibson, I don't know. Fred Syriacs, I don't know. Nella Rose, I don't know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sam Thompson, Marvin Humes, and Grace Dent. I don't, I have never heard of any of these people. Nigel Farage. Nick Pickard is an actor.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh he's from Hollyoaks, he's the older guy, he's been on Hollyoaks for like, ever, basically. Some of these are barely famous enough. Josie Gibson is a TV presenter.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Next contestant, Nella Rose, who's 26 years old, job YouTuber. YouTube and social media influencer, Nella Rose is entering the Australian jungle for 2023, Rose is known for her comedic videos, and, as of November 2023,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Even like, uh, even the times I've been to BlizzCon, you watch the opening ceremony and then the rest of the time you just hang out with people that you know that are there. You don't go to all the panels and stuff. Some people do, I guess, but, I mean, I never did.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Man, I don't know how I managed to insulate myself from this, but like, this is not the TikTok that I use, or have ever seen before. Mostly, like, if I see TikTok, it's usually like, uh, there's no sound, it's like subtitle, like somebody talking about some crap that I don't even read.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's just like I said, somebody puking or somebody like whipping a bottle or something like that. Like, it's just like these really short little.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sometimes interesting things, but not, not overly, but I didn't realize that they had like, big...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, well I don't actually use the app itself, either. Like, I just see it through whatever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I feel like toilets are so well signposted anyway, like you should never really overly struggle to find a toilet if you just look at it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, like the birth of a child and you're just like straight face. You're just holding it and you look annoyed.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah well I don't like they changed a bunch of stuff around right when uhm, when Elon took over.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, how about this though, you, you audio, you do an audio recording of yourself jacking off really loud, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, yeah, and then so they're outside the door listening to it, and then they call into you and they say, are you in there jacking off? And then you're, you're right behind them and you snuck up right behind them and you're like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But then you have to explain that you did do an audio recording of yourself jacking off for the prank. To prank someone.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What if you use the, I need a shit excuse, and then you go to another meeting, but you don't realise that somebody from the other meeting is in the same meeting, and then you use it again. Cause there's no way you're taking two shits in one day. Like in close succession. But you just drop the ball a little bit. There are two big meetings, and there was somebody.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I'm not too worried about it. And, uh, if they don't, well, great. I've got away with it. I think you just got to not, not give, not give a shit about that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, are you gonna go to the one in San Diego? I got a- I saw that, uh, they're starting to advertise it. Are you, uh-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We don't really go to TwitchCon. I'll do a trip to Vegas under the pretense that I'll go to TwitchCon and then I just won't go. Do you reckon you could sell that to your family?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, this reminds me of something that made me chuckle a little bit recently. It's not related to TI or Dota in any way, but when you said that the guy was Romanian.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I know Serbia and Romania aren't the same place or whatever. They are not. But there is probably like, you know, for people from Romania, Serbia, if you're in an English speaking country or whatever, there's always gonna be like maybe little isms or like lost in translations or whatever. Anyway, I was watching Wimbledon.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He didn't, he got fined for smashing one racket, but his, he, he said, you know, he's done really well. He's played so well, the better, better player won everything like really, really nice actually. Uh, and then he got a bit tearful cause you know, he's like, he's pretty accomplished. He's played a lot of tennis or whatever. Uh, and then the, the person interviewing,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Was like, do you have anything else you want to say or whatever? He's like, I just need a minute. I'm crying a little bit here. And then he looked up at his son who was sitting in the, in the crowd and he looked right at him and he's like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I love you and later on, let's go home and we can love each other.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's just such a weird phrasing, but like, I mean, obviously like there's like weird, there's some language barriers, like a second language and stuff, but it just...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was like one of those, you know, completely unintentional, but like kind of endearing as well, you know, like it, what didn't come across as like weird or malicious or whatever. It was just, you know, unfortunate phrasing, but it was funny. It was funny. Old guy. I don't think he gives a fuck. Apparently he's the greatest.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, there's the, there is the sort of, uh, personal life aspect of it as well, but I don't follow enough tennis. I watch Wimbledon sometimes if it's on, but no, I just thought it was funny. I'm not.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I hate those cause nobody wants to even do that stuff. The only person who wants to do it is the person who's organized it and the only reason they're doing it is because they organized it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Have you ever considered going on a cruise, uh, like, uh, on the ocean? Or maybe to visit a fjord?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, without any light pollution from a city or towns or anything.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Maybe that's Sweden actually. I could be thinking of Sweden.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well they do, they had that, uh, carry on camping, remember? That was a nudist, uh, campground.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What's her face? It's not British. I think she was in Harry Potter. Miriam, something, Mark- Mark Goyles? Mark Goyles? Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] She went to a nudist place in Australia, she had like this show where she was going around Australia, she went to like this full nudist, I don't know, they seem like a cult to me, but I don't know if they were- They do feel a little bit like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, it's gonna happen to, there's probably people listening to this right now who have an ancient, ancient relative who is involved.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I mean, he, his, um, Flax's relative would have also had a gooch, um, so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it probably wasn't out of date, Will. It's gotta be. God, it's a puzzle.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like those Japanese soldiers who didn't realize the war ended because they were living in a cave, like in the 1980s or whatever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They turned up and they were like, is the war still on? They're like, no, no.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I read a book recently for the first time in God knows how long. I can't remember the last time I read an actual book, a paperback book. It was a book called The Hepatitis Bathtub and other stories.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] 30 years of being a band, or 25 years of being a band, or whatever. And it was just, um, it was like memoirs from all the members of the band, so like, it was... You went away in the last two weeks, didn't you, to Wembley? Yeah, I saw Blur at Wembley as well, yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, just Heathrow. I don't think we have a direct to London city anymore from here. And, uh, and Gatwick, the options are a bit limited, but you can fly BA from here straight to terminal five. So it wasn't too bad. I see.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I'm sure there's gotta be somebody else out there who probably has a similar.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. So what was Blur like in concert? Great. I mean, it was a big, big show. I've never been to anything like that before in my life. Wembley, I've never been to a big stadium before in my life. I think the biggest thing I would have ever been to before that was I went to see


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Monday Night Raw, WWE Monday Night Raw in Montreal at the Molson Center, I think, which is big, but.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, but Wembley was just fucking enormous. I just, I couldn't believe it. Like even when, when we turned up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] For the opening, uh, we didn't watch all the opening acts, but when we turned up, there was one of the opening acts. So who was it? You and your wife? Yeah, and uh, and my brother-in-law as well.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, uh, it was just, it blows you away. Like it's fucking, I can't believe the, just the, the noise of all the people. Like when, when there's nothing happening, it just, it's the weirdest sound. You feel like you're going insane almost.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Not, uh, not that I remember. Like, not, not, like, not, certainly not any time recently. Like, I've been to, like, shows and stuff. I've been to festivals. Like, I've been to Redding. I went to the V Festival.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes, yeah, it's just, and we had seats that were, we didn't have seats on the ground, like we had stand seats, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is your, uh, your youngest, uh, daughter is, uh, finishing up at, uh, primary, right? So she's off to secondary next year. Yeah. My son's a saint.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, it's funny with the, uh, like we, we know quite a few or at least recognize quite a few of the parents and, and kids from my son's year because he was the first, our first kid to go to school. Both my daughter, we know nobody. Like we just, we, we made sure we didn't know anybody.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think it's not that we made more of an effort, it was just more of a new thing to us at the time, right? We thought we had to, but then with the second one, you're just like, I know I do not have to, so I'm not going to.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And they come and go too. Like uhm, y'know, sometimes, y'know, like, when my kid was in uh, nursery, y'know, and all the kids that were in nursery with him, we were like, oh my god, this is crazy, y'know, he's gonna be in school with these kids for like six years or whatever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Um, but then tons of them leave and new ones come in and stuff and you just- Yeah, there's always kids leaving.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right. I mean, again, like we used to, with my older kid, but with the middle one, we- Are they just there on their phones or with their headphones in or something? The older kids now, a lot, are, yeah. And their parents do, yes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, or they don't even come to the, they don't even come to the school. They wait like at the parking lot for them or some, some of them just walk home.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Far too, like all the way through town and stuff, like, I dunno. I mean, they're old enough too, but I just, I dunno, we wouldn't want ours to, but. Each to their own. I used to walk home when I was about that age, but it was a different time, different location as well.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Maybe a bit safer? I don't know. I don't know. It's the age old. I think everybody goes through this, you know, it's like, oh, it was safer when I was younger. It probably wasn't, but you know, you were, you were allowed to do things.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The roads and the sidewalks are just not great. You know, you're, you're always almost hanging out into a road and it's, it's a small place. So the roads are.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know what I mean? Like all it takes is like five or six cars and it's fucking packed. But there's certain spots where it's just not safe to cross or, you know, you, you wouldn't, you wouldn't leave it to a kid to, to figure it out sort of thing. You know, where it's like where I, where I grew up in the suburbs in Canada.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's a lot more space. It was a lot quieter during the day. Like when I was walking to school, walking home from school, there was like barely any traffic because most of the traffic was, you know, on the highway to go downtown or back or whatever. You know what I mean? So it's like, it was just completely different. I'm not, I'm not.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Concerned about like who's out and about to that extent or, or whatever. It's more just road safety and I just don't think my kids are.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There, with road safety yet, you know what I mean? Like, a lot of the time, if we're walking with them, they're almost just like throwing themselves in the road, and you're just like, what are you doing? You have to look, like, you gotta make sure that there's no cars and stuff, you can't just step out into the road sort of thing, and if we weren't there, I don't know what they would do, so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know. It's one, it's one of them. Man, Big Cities probably is the same thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hello everyone. Welcome to the podcast. Welcome to Triforce Podcast. Uh, mailbag. Mailbag. Six. Is it a mailbag? It's a mailbag. How you feeling? You got cuddly, warm feet? Cozy? Uh, yes. Heating working?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What a relief. Oh my god, I was thinking about, like, first of all, what the fuck. Like, the worst time. Like, the seven days of your home over Christmas, with your mum over, to have no showers, no, like, hot water. You don't realise how annoying it is.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Actually to have, like, no hot water and stuff. Cause you go and wash your hands at the sink and it's like that fucking icy cold water every time. Like, every time you're doing the washing up, you have to boil the kettle and throw that in the sink.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's been erupting away. Well, we think that, what, you think that's gonna take us out as well, do you?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yep. We don't want your ash. We don't want it. The Toba eruption. Yeah. This was so long ago, P-Fax.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I see, people at Sixwood were due for a fuckin' some Mayan calendar catastrophe shit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're still going, of course they are, you know, don't worry about Jedward, they're doing


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I watch this guy every time for example I open Instagram or whatever, there's this German guy who does these little shorts, and he's got this really like scowl of a face on him, right, and he's like walking down the street, and there's all these other Germans there, like dressed up in whatever, whatever they are, sometimes they're Goths, sometimes they're like teenagers, sometimes they're whatever. And they're all scowling as well, and then something will happen, like someone will drop their


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Maybe, no, I don't think it's that. I think it's more just that everyone's actually nice, but they have like, just default scales. And that's the same in London, I think too, to some extent. Like people actually are more talkative and willing to talk, but they don't, they don't have that extra, they're not prepared for it, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He drops his mug. I guess, I guess this is an eggcorn, right? There's a lot of eggcorns that people have and just can't, you know, say stuff wrong with them. It's like a Ricky


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Top tier, top shelf. So first of all, this was something Spiff told me a while back, which I haven't done, which I keep seeing on Reddit generally. It's uhm, if you set your profile, like for example on Tinder or Hinge or whatever, to a different, or Bumble, to a different country, like the Philippines, for example.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Or you switch your profile to bisexual. Uhm, men are much more likely to swipe on you, and people in the Philippines, apparently, are much more likely to swipe on a white guy. Right? Really?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So the fact is a lot of guys on Tinder, mainly on Tinder.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Are just not being seen by women at all, because actually the way it works is you get a hundred swipes per day, okay, and it will show you the hottest people first. Uhm, and so most women don't ever pay for Tinder because they don't have to, because every man, everyone they swipe on has already swiped on them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's this crazy statistic where if you swipe right on Tinder as a woman.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Men are less picky and also men... Well, I say men are less picky and this isn't true either, right? Men are...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Men just want a date and are desperate for anything, but women are much more, uhm, can afford to be picky because of the way it works. However, in general, actually, women are less picky than men. Like, there's this thing where... They have to be!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Women men? Oh my god. Yeah, exactly. I've seen a couple and I'm not impressed. Ugh. There's this thing where, like, the men will rate, so on average men will rate a woman, like, a seven, but they'll date a six, right? Whereas women, on average, will rate men five, but will date a four.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I wouldn't advise playing these weird games of switching yourself to gay or putting yourself in the Philippines or anything like that. I think you do need to have pictures that look good, uhm, and ideally... Why not actually just switch to being a gay person?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Good luck my friend, good luck. I'd love to talk to you about it more, but don't exploit anything, just take, get someone to take good pictures of you doing interesting things. People, it doesn't matter what you look like, it's more interesting apparently, which is again, not what I'm doing, but uhm, more interesting to have pictures of you doing fun things.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And also, for the record, doing well means I'm having like, one day every two weeks, and they're awful.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, you don't have to get into it. It's not really like, I wouldn't expect, I'm not expecting that either, but then again I'm not, I literally have never had a, I've had one Tinder date, y'know. It's like, it's not a thing that I actually find any success on. See, I know girls who've been on the app.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Now, well, I mean, hopefully they will meet people organically, but in reality, these apps are eating themselves. Like, I don't think they're going to be the future of dating because they suck. And they are set up in a way that really is kind of crazy. Like basically,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The way it sort of works is that, if you're a woman on there, you get a lot of attention because everyone messes you, and says hi, and you get to pick who you wanna go out with, and of course you're gonna pick the best men. Like, if you're in a fucking supermarket, and there's a load of apples there, and there's a load of them are mouldy, you're gonna pick the nicest looking apple.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think it's fine, but it's definitely a hookup app for women, it's not necessarily a hookup app for men, uhm, Tinder, you know? I think if you wanna, it's like being gay on Grindr or whatever, not that I've done much of it, but


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, you know, speaking to people about it, it's very much like, oh, I want to have sex with someone, okay, I'm in Paris tonight, I've already got three guys like that. It's very easy to do it because guys are very open to it. Women are more picky, and can be more picky.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think I spoke to someone, and they told me it wasn't running, and I believed them, and they were like, oh, it's sad, cause my blue Peter badge isn't accepted anywhere.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, well it's still going, is it? Great. Still!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well no, I was talking to someone who had a badge. Which was, apparently, and it did get you into places, like cheap and free and stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I have some insight into this because of Becky, who I'm friends with from Jingle Jam and she's helped by special effects. She's in a wheelchair, she plays games with her eyes, and I think to some extent these


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] People wanna just play the games that other people are playing, right? And it doesn't matter so much. Sometimes they're very, very difficult to play, right? Like Minecraft, Fortnite, these are the things that she wanted to play, right? Because other people were playing them. I don't think actually Fortnite really, but The Sims definitely was a big game that she played.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And obviously there are a lot of adaptive controllers that allow you to plug in things where you can use your eyes, but use your chin, use other ways to play. I think, I always...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I always sort of had the view of like, well just choose games that are relatively, why don't you just play games that are relatively


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know if you want to play a game more because you can't, if there's any psychology there. Almost like, feels like, oh well, you know, this is uhm...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, I really want to play Beat Saber with VR, you know, but I can't because I can't swing around the controllers, you know, so I have to find a way to do that.


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[Assistant] I feel like, I feel like there is this, there's always that FOMO, right? Like you're, you're like, oh, is this, is this the game for me? Is this the best thing to do for me? But honestly, I play every game and I try and encourage people to play and try out different games and different genres. And there's so many games out there that, you know, like even this Christmas I'm like thinking, I'm looking through my library and I'm like,


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[Assistant] Am I gonna fucking play Dota with everyone because they're playing that in the evening, you know? Which of these games am I gonna fucking invest my time into? Or am I best off just reading one of these pile of books I've got, doing that fucking jigsaw puzzle over there, playing board games with my friends, like, you know, am I better off getting my VR headset out and trying out some of these games I've been putting off?


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[Assistant] Do you mean like there's so much choice that, that is overwhelming really. Um, so yeah, if I had one arm, uh, I dunno, like fuck it. I think I'd be fine.


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[Assistant] I honestly think I probably wouldn't notice. I think it might limit my speed at being a pro gamer. Pro gamer?


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[Assistant] Nothing slows me down on that front. Well being, being a competitive, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But also, you know, if I keep getting the dates, then I don't need to wank either, so what's next? Like, gimme all these things. Oh my god, man, I can't believe you just said that, but it's so true.


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[Assistant] I mean, I love trains, and I have excellence, so you know, I'm actually already, you know, in that. I mean, I'm not helping, am I?


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[Assistant] To what they think, maybe they think you're a couple watching together, maybe they think, you know, whatever. Like, or maybe they just know you're in a relationship or something like this and that's why, you know, I don't know. It's not like advertising erectile dysfunction stuff to a woman is even bad, or always to a man is bad. Like, you know, you still have to pick up


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So this weekend I stayed in a canal boat for a couple days. And it was very odd. Who did you stay there with?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The friend of yours who owns a canal boat? They don't rent it, but the guy who owns it


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[Assistant] I understand it's actually quite expensive to maintain a canal, but if you have one you have to pay like, fucking, you have to pay like, mooring fees, and licensing fees, and the gas and the diesel, and there's tons of ludicrous, the water, it's a pain in the arse apparently.


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[Assistant] So, you know, I think he has it and wants and uses it in summer and stuff, but the rest of the year round, like, especially now when it's freezing cold, it's not.


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[Assistant] It's like kind of like camping, you know, because, you know, it's cozy and it's nice and stuff, but it's like, you know, there's, it doesn't necessarily have all the mod cons and I think you're constantly in fear of


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You have to sail it sort of 20 miles every sail. You have to move it 20 miles every sort of 3 months. So you can avoid paying council tax or whatever, or permanent. Permanent. It's not counted as permanent residence, do you know what I mean?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] On the sort of Bristol Bath canal path, there's so many locks, there's this set of like 30 or 40 locks that you have to go down, which takes hours to navigate your way through.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It really, have you, it has to be like a passion, it has to be like something you want to do, right? Like, like uhm, you have to be a boat person, you have to love boats to, cause to me I was like, I couldn't do this, I couldn't do this, like live on a boat, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, a lot of this stuff in the UK, a lot of these canal places are, some of them are pretty shit, but some of them are really still lovely places to walk around. I mean, and also so much history, right? Like, you know, Bath is this city that was, you know, established by the fucking Romans and it's got all this, you know, Romanesque architecture. You know, clearly people lived there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, 2000 years, you know, we've, and it's always been sort of upmarket area. And so you've got like these Arthian buildings and then you've got the canals alongside them, but you've also got


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Weirdly, if you like walking, you will quite like canal boating, because you can go, like, you know, down the river ten miles, and then there's another, like, really nice walk, you know, and then ten miles down the river, there's another really nice place to walk around, and it's kinda like...


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[Assistant] There's a little village called Bathampton which is on the canal, um, which is very photogenic and looks fantastic.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A lot of those railways run along the same cut that the canal cut through the land, and they even use the same fucking aqueducts and bridges sometimes as well, which is interesting. It's all sort of smushed together.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If it's, yeah, if it's why, good night. Yeah. Or if it's a, if it's a, yeah, something like that. It's, and...


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[Assistant] That's kind of, not only terrible advice, because first of all, some grizzly bears are black, and some black bears are brown. So you don't necessarily even know which one it is, right? But basically, it should always be, if it's a bear, get out of there. Do you know what I mean?


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[Assistant] They're terrible. And on that, by the way, I've talked to someone else at the pub who I won't name just for the sake of keeping it private, but they were like, I was, they were on holiday with someone they'd been going out with for a couple of weeks and, um,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They were, I think on a boat actually, and the advice was just to like...


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[Assistant] Um, not flush until, you know, for some reason, not flush.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't even think the lion is as good as a tiger, actually. I think tigers are, like, stronger and faster and more... They're bigger! I think they're bigger!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If it's brown, lions lay down. If it's white, fly a kite.


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[Assistant] Just you wait. AI's going crazy. Honestly, like, the musical stuff that AI's doing now is so crazy. You're just gonna be able to type in stuff and it'll come up with, ah, it's nuts. It's terrifying.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That you would never go to Australia because the spiders would eat me and a kangaroo would jump out of the hedge and punch me in the face. And then I'd get dragged into the sea by a jellyfish and then chopped up by a shark. And then once that had finished with me, a load of fucking birds would eat the chum.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then they, the piranhas, there was a whole list of things that you were terrified of. Then the Australians would drag me into a cabin and chop me up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What about Africa? What about any African country? Are there any African countries you would go to? Would you go to South Africa?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] See, this is what we're dealing with. Okay, everyone. PFLAX is a very cautious man. It's not Australia, you're not the problem, really. It's PFLAX being very overly cautious. I'm a very cautious man.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, you've got a lot to lose. You've got your family, you've got provider, you've got, um, you know, your fragile constitution. You've got, you've got lack of hair to protect you from the elements.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're a Brit, uhm, you know, you're a video gamer, you're not the fittest man I've ever seen, no offense.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, that's probably a bigger threat to you, isn't it? Well, you are quite healthy, actually, people. I guess. I, I, I think, I think that the people who are...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think it's funny, having been to Australia and seeing what it's like, and, you know, I saw more fucking weird bugs and spiders on the boat at the weekend than I did the whole time I was in fucking Australia, do you know what I mean?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I honestly get this vibe too. I think like, people, some people say to me, oh, you know, do you want a backpack around, fucking go and see Machu Picchu? I'm like, not fucking really. Maybe when I was 19 or


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Anyway, uhm, John Peel died fucking climbing matchy peachy, didn't know that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm a terrible traveller, right? I get in a car and if I'm not driving or I'm not in the front seat, or even if I am in the front seat...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm s- I'm getting carsick after an hour. Jimmy, on a plane, I get on a plane, and like, when we take off the pressure gives me a fucking migraine immediately, then I've got this fucking headache for the whole thing, and then my ears don't pop for days after I come down.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm, I'm a fucking garbage traveler. I hate being in airports. I hate traveling. I hate going around the world. It sucks. And then when you go, when you want to try and do any of these interesting like adventure holidays, you're out there. There's no fucking.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Flushing toilets, you know, there's no like, I'm like, you know, I'm like, I don't know, like, I'm just not, I don't have a good constitution, right? I'm not, I'm not, I've never been.


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[Assistant] Either way, I think we are gonna miss a couple of episodes over the new year just because we haven't got a backlog or any mailbag spare. And I'm going away over the new year as well.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh man, so true though, so true. Fuck.


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[Assistant] Overall, The Guardian seemed pretty disorganized and told me they would warn me the day before the article came out, but they did not. Of course. So it was a big shock when I found out and I read her responses the same time as everyone else.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, High Triforce, yes, they do eat guinea pigs in Peru as I ate one there. Yes. Uhm, I'm also pretty sure I saw them in Bolivia and Ecuador too. I was curious as to how this exotic cultural delight would taste and ordered it. I was expecting a cut or pieces of guinea pig meat on my plate.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'll try to keep it short. Longtime listener, etc. So this brings me to my point. After browsing through a work colleague's social media, I saw her have photographs with the Yogscast at a convention.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And from speaking to her I found out she's just as big a fan as I am. So this colleague, affectionately known as Beans, is incredibly funny, gorgeous, and right up my street.


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[Assistant] If this isn't read out, I'll pluck up the courage and ask her myself. This is from Leighton.


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[Assistant] Have there been any, uh, any updates? I'm just gonna call it updates, cause it's like date update.


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[Assistant] The whole time my mouth was talking but I had no idea what I was saying. My thoughts were somewhere else trying to work out how to get out of this situation.


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[Assistant] She went to put her hand on the door and I stopped her and said, I'm sorry I can't do this. She did not understand. I said nervously, I can't let you in my car. She still didn't understand or thought I was joking. I said, I'm really sorry you look different in your pictures, I'm going by. And then drove off.


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[Assistant] I think it's perfectly acceptable to just say, I'm sorry, it's not gonna happen. And leave. Because how is that worse than the rejection of being rejected online? Is it because you've had to get a train?


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[Assistant] I think that's a very sweet thing and I'm sure that is the right thing to do. I have no doubt, but I'm just saying I understand why you would just ditch.


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[Assistant] Well, uh, that didn't work out for me, I'll see you later. Wouldn't you then think that not only did that seem to go well for you, and you were getting excited thinking, oh maybe this is gonna lead somewhere, then the other person doesn't wanna talk to you, doesn't wanna see you again. Yeah. I think in a way, that that would also be painful. It would be. Because now that good time,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You were like, shit, I thought it went so well. And you'd start to doubt way more. Was it this one thing I said or, or was it, was it something I didn't do? Like, I think it's very difficult.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They couldn't figure out how the cat got pregnant because it was an indoor cat. After a lot of questioning, it was figured out that the owner had an unmuted tomcat in the house as well, but thought they wouldn't do anything because they were brother and sister.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, border terriers are regularly brought here and shipped over to California for hunting raccoons. Apparently, it's used as some sort of status symbol in certain circles to have a real Irish dog, even though the dog breed is Scottish, which is utterly bizarre.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How about just saying anyone who speaks differently is wrong. There's no committee for proper English. Now, and there specifically are people who detail proper English. They write these books called dictionaries. And there are websites that show you how to pronounce things. And there is a correct way to pronounce things.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And garage is like a French word. I doubt it's pronounced garage. It's garage, I'm pretty sure. Well. Le garage. Le garage.


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[Assistant] Alright, someone sent in a Triforce Madlib. Uhm, this is from Eric, thank you.


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[Assistant] Harry? We need other adjectives.


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[Assistant] Toes, and then another one, also plural. Teeth? I wanna say teeth.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Good one. Are teeth a body part? Well, body part singular happens.


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[Assistant] Fiddlesticks, he said. He didn't need to look at the greasy calendar on the wall. He knew what day it was. Every year the townsfolk celebrated Triforce Day.


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[Assistant] Timestamp was around 11.10. Who'd have guessed that this strange x.com that Lewis had found simply by googling weird websites would then come to be Twitter around two years later. It's a very good plan.


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[Assistant] Yeah, very good point. Maybe Lulu is a... Maybe he has traveled through time.


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[Assistant] Range Rovers are a slower vehicle than the average thief would like to steal, but they're so easy to break into and make so much money that many can't keep themselves away. To that point, many of us in the automotive industry are up in arms over the car obesity epidemic we find ourselves in.


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[Assistant] Was it last year? Yeah it would have been last year. Oh christ. Lewis have you mentally prepared for the night of your life with the two best wingmen, and are you still going to a northern shithole for it as you said?


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[Assistant] Well look, these guys aren't getting locked up, ever. I guarantee you they're not getting locked up. And I'll tell you how I know that. Because there was an article today-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is a pretty dark story, but this has come out today. This is a legal story. Convicted rapists and burglars will be temporarily spared jail from next week.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, well let me tell you something. This is from Dan, alright. This lad works in the Australian prison system. Follow up email, okay. Works as a private contractor within the prison system in Australia. Uh, the company he works for takes prisoners to court.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] God. Right, Lewis. And I guess Sibs, but I remember your specific term, Lewis. This was about how you put relationships the wrong way around when it comes to age difference, which is an older woman and a younger fella.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, figured I'd write this because this is right up my alley. My fiancee and I met while I was working at a diner. I was 19, she was a customer, aged 28. We have been together for 8 years now. We're about to welcome our first child, named Kristoff. Named after the actor, Kristoff Waltz. Sorry.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I think most women by the time they get to, most people really by the time they get to their late 20s, early 30s are pretty much now, they're mature, they've been around a bit, they know what they want and they've experienced some good and some bad. What does a 19 year old know? Like no offence to any 19 year olds out there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So here's my question, why then did you refer to it as the wrong way around? Instinctively.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, I did, so I did have an email, so I'll help you out a tiny bit. I did have an email from someone pointing out that one of the main reasons, this is from a woman, saying that yes, when women get older, obviously they tend to be thinking about kids and stuff like that. I mean, that woman that's already met had a child.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, if you're in your 20s, your early 20s, or you're 19,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I think, oh, maybe it's just the, there's some builders working down the road, I thought maybe they're up to something. And it keeps going and I, I hear it sort of escalating and getting quite heated. So I have a peek outside, and there's a bunch of my neighbors having an argument with traffic enforcement officer Park in Warden, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, I'm like, I mean, it looks like it's gonna come to blows. So, quickly pop some trousers on, and my shoes, uh, cause I was in my PJs, go downstairs, and I play Peacekeeper. I go and sort it out. And, I don't wanna see people getting clobbered, so I wanna find out what the situation is.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, uh, some, we, we have, like most of Tookenham has parking permits because we get rugby traffic and they'll, they're animals, they'll park anywhere.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And people will drive up here from outside London, park up anywhere they can find in Twickenham and they get the train into London because that's cheaper than getting a train all the way. That's a thing that people did. So for a while there was nowhere to park on the roads around here. So either permits were brought in.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There is a situation where some of the people around here have garages, uhm, and those garages, people will park their own car in front of their own garage, which they're using for storage, and they'd assumed that this was


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Their land, if you like. No one else can park in front of the garage, because you can't park in front of the garage. So they were like, well, it's basically mine.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, I'll park there. So they were parking in front of their garages and


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I'm like, you know, trying to calm it down. Eventually, the boss of the Trafford Wardens comes up, explains the situation, and I was like, alright, look, look, I will talk to the council, we'll get a resolution on this, don't worry about it. And they're like tearing the tickets off and throwing them at the Trafford Warden. It was a big fucking to-do.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, so I'm in the middle of the, uh, the process of talking to the council and figuring out what the hell are we meant to do? Because it's unclear communication, like I think people just want consistency. Right. And these tickets are like 110 quid, so it's a lot of fucking money.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, so yeaah, that was that. But it was, it was, I think if I hadn't gone out, it genuinely could have come to Blakes. It was, it was a sketchy old situation.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, and people don't use them. Like the whole point is the system of complaining to the council, the system of going to see your MP, that exists. And if you don't use it, uh, what's the point in it?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's not- that's not a likely, uh, result of this dispute. If it was a bunch of kids with the masks over their face- Don't say that to the last guy!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Very quickly. I mean, that's why people go, road rage and stuff, is people go from zero to a hundred miles an hour in terms of their anger very, very quickly.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I mean, I will say this. I will say this. A lot of religions that predate the sort of Abrahamic religions also have the same fucking story.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, a lot of Christianity, and uh, and even sort of the Judaism foundation, a lot of that stuff is from even older religions. Like, the whole idea of a big flood, that's not fucking original. That's like a fucking cover version of some other story. A lot of the creation story. Yeah, it's all fucking ancient.


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[Assistant] It's good. It got better. Like it's actually improved as it's gone along. I do have one question. Did I mention this last week? I don't know. Does Steven Spielberg hate British people? Specifically English people.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well so, I'll give you some examples. They're in a pub, right? They, they, they got, so it's about the bomber pilots in World War II. And the difference between the British and American approach


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He gets his arse handed to him, and the Americans are like, well, yes, you know that one. That's the end of that scene.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's not about having British actors as the villains. Cause we can do that sort of clipped and haughty, that posh accent that sounds like an officer. And it sounds like a baddie voice. I get it, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Ted Danson says, oh don't tell me about Monty, I think he's a complete bellend, like, I'm paraphrasing, but that's literally what he says. And it's like, alright, fuck off, fine, whatever. And then, in Band of Brothers, we see like, one British tank commander, and he's like a complete prick who gets his tank shot.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it's like, then he dies, and they're rolling their eyes like, Brits. It's like, Spielberg, can you fuck off? Like, what is the fucking problem? He hates British people, I'm telling you, specifically he hates English people. Hates English people. You find me an example of a positive representation of English people in a Spielberg movie. Feel free, send him into the mailbag.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But we could. The thing is, they've got this source material of this book, right, which I presume was called Masters of the Air, about the life of these guys doing this. Rather than just have British characters being shitheads, why can't some of the Americans be shitheads to each other? Why do we have to be- if they need a shithead, they're like, right, we need a shithead for this scene, get an English bloke in. What the fuck off?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, I know that, uh, I think I might have mentioned this before, if they are listening, the very first broadcast they'll get is a hit list.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, the sort of bow wave, if you like, of signals that we've been sending from Earth traveling for eternity through space.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Why isn't it just a big Pikachu? Is this Mew? Mewtwo? Is that who that is?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And the, the, the, the lady who's the main character has basically disowned it, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I think it was her, or maybe someone else was like, uh, yeah, it's shit. Something like that. I'm paraphrasing again. I like to do that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] She's got, she's got, uhm, in some of these pictures she's gone for the Billie Eilish look. Uh, she doesn't look like Billie Eilish, but the look is, you look super bored. Like you half close your eyes and just look like, ugh, whatever. Like that, that's the Billie Eilish look. Resting bitch face.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They've written a Greek tragedy. Is it the Greek economy?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, I can believe that simply because, first of all, people don't really buy CDs much anymore.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The format was dreadful. Like, it sounded fucking awful. The hiss, and the more you listened to it, the worse it got.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The whole rewinding thing, it was, it was awful, it's not a format that anyone should be pining for a return of. Uh, vinyl though, genuinely does sound amazing, like there is, a record on vinyl just sounds so much better, um, because it's like an actual sound wave, there's no digital element to it, it's, it's incredible. Like the, like the follow up music.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's not. Oh yeaah. Yes, get me that key, Lulu! He wants it. Alright, thanks everyone, we'll see you-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They ran a big pipe under the ocean to pump water through the ocean.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, are we ready? Are we all down and we all set, are we all down and we all ready?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Name two animals that can't sweat.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I believe this question was named the only two animals that can't sweat.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, moot, M-O-O-T, moot. That is it, M-O-O-T. Yes, the question is moot.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Ricky got it! Ricky got it! He beat you 3-1 in the Smurf game.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And an electric jolt to your nipple.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes, if you fuck around with it just for the reason of jolting the nipples, then you get disqualified. Alright. And I might shoot you. Fair enough.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah, this guy here, he won the lottery. You know what he did when he won the lottery, Ricky? What? He went into his work and pissed on his boss.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He starts jumping up and down before running across the office to shout in the face of a colleague before storming towards his boss's office.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, he maced him, got him on the ground, but then he jumped on the desk and proceeds to yarnate on his boss.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] All these videos on YouTube where people, you know, oh, look at me, look what happened. You can tell.


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[Assistant] Hey Casey Affleck, if you're watching this, happy birthday. Bubbles wants to bang ya. Do you? I don't wanna bang him.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I didn't see Batman with him in it. I don't even have any reason to. Batman vs Superman is stupid anyway.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well you remember when Superman started flying around and the earth turned the other way and time went back?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Superman's cock can detach and it has it's own cape and goes out on it's own mission. Superman's cock.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If it's coming out there, you got some fucking problems. You got some downstairs mix ups.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Easy mark. Never play cards against the elderly. Like, I'm not even kidding, they are fucking amazing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Genuinely. You're on a train journey, right? You're on a train journey, if somehow you can afford that. Uhm, in the old days, if you wanted to do anything, you'd have to take out a pack of cards and hope you had one of the four seat tables, you know, with the...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How do I break that? Do you ever, so I get uhm, I read the New York Times, cause it's a pretty good newspaper, and one of the sections they have is cooking, and they email you a recipe, like pretty much every day, they email you a recipe. I got one, let me read this to you guys, alright, you just tell me what this sounds like to you.


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[Assistant] Step one. Butter the bread on both sides and lightly brown in a frying pan. Smear one side with mustard and transfer to a sheet pan mustard side up.


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[Assistant] Forests are large enough to support species such as wolves and deer for game hunting, and they encompassed other habitats such as heat, open grass and farmland.


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[Assistant] The term woodland is also considered to be land covered with trees and vegetation, but in the UK, woods tend not to be as large as forests. For example, Loch Archig Pine Forest in the Highlands of Scotland is 2,500 acres, while St John's Woods in Devon is just three acres. That's one bit. That's not a wood at all.


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[Assistant] So there seems to be some differences. I would say if someone said forest, you're generally thinking big. Like the new forest, for example.


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[Assistant] There was this one guy, he was like five foot nothing, he was tiny.


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[Assistant] So this guy's got the ball, he goes flying in on this guy, takes him out, like flips him up in the air, and this lad has to go off injured. And he's like, it's a man's game. That was his defense. Quote, it's a man's game.


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[Assistant] And also then, if my colleagues are on a pitch, I am now going to kick them up in the air, because that is how I relieve stress, is kicking other people up in the air. Paintball, five a side, anything with this competition, a decent percentage of people are not looking to have fun and play the game, they're looking to get involved in trouble, because for some people that's the only way that they can validate themselves and quote, relieve some stress.


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[Assistant] Right, now I'm absolutely happy to concede the argument that essentially people, I mean, anime, a lot of anime looks the same. You wouldn't say that the way that you drew this anime character was wildly different from the way you drew that anime character. There's a style there.


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[Assistant] So you got a computer that's nicking this style from other people, and they're saying that's not cool, and those people, those artists weren't paid for the training of that AI.


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[Assistant] Podcast where we talk bollocks, but essentially the more we'd lean into ways to replace human, human beings.


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[Assistant] Well those were kind of for me Ricky, but I suppose. I can't say the name of. I suppose you could have one.


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[Assistant] So it's just starting out. You just fucked it up again. All right, we're poolside at this hotel for now.


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[Assistant] Till we get kicked out of here. We didn't have permission to be at, which I believe we did. Is this the place they're having the wedding this afternoon? I don't know.


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[Assistant] If you're ever getting fused again, a potato is the thing you eat chips. Just think of a chip sliced up. Chips off a potato is a potato. A chip is a chip? We'll leave it at that. Alright. So the camera dicks have been following us around again. Yeah, of course they have. That's what kind of fucked up. Got in a fight with the fucking camera guy today, he was tripping me. What'd you do? He's got a fucking bit of a fat lip. You punched the cameraman. Got him learned pretty quick.


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[Assistant] It was actually more of a knee to the face than a punch. What number of podcasts should we be on today? Sixty-one. No, we're still in the forties. Forty-eight. Forty-nine.


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[Assistant] And what else happened that year? 48, the end of one of the wars, the big one. Yeah. A little later than that. Uh, I don't know what else to come out with the first, uh, fast car.


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[Assistant] I'm more interested in the moon trip that took place in 48.


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[Assistant] Now? I'd say they're fucking dead by now. They probably died pretty quick because they probably didn't even give them oxygen or anything.


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[Assistant] And all that's up here is a bit of fucking dirt. And hills. So you think they sent a monkey to the moon, do ya, before... ...a person? A moon monkey? That's how they tested everything. That's how they knew we needed protection.


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[Assistant] I'm not even going on the ground. That would happen first. That would be the first, like, wow, this is fucked. Then all of a sudden it's like, oh my god, I can't breathe. So how long- I think I'm gonna die. How long do you think they actually survived on the moon? A monkey can hold his breath for, what, 25 minutes?


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[Assistant] As soon as that monkey was blasted or sucked out of the ship, he would have been dead, man. Like, gaunt, dead.


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[Assistant] Ricky, can I tell you something? Was it the Y2 they had? The Y2? Fuckin' flew high and fast. The what? Was it the Y2? The X1, Ricky?


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[Assistant] The Bell X-1 piloted by Chuck Yeager.


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[Assistant] Well maybe it was, I don't know. Alright, well I fucked it up. Anyway, so, what were we talking about? It's great to be here everybody.


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[Assistant] You think I should slick it back? No, maybe move the part a little bit. Maybe a center part. A little duck tail in the back. Maybe just spike it all up and get across the tips. You think I should part it in the middle and get a duck tail? What do they call it? A duck's ass? Where it kinda combs in like a duck's ass. I look good on you. You know who you look like? Alfalfa, glasses.


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[Assistant] It's a, it's a naked restaurant, you go there naked, okay? In London they have one, and it doesn't matter, anybody can come in, but in Japan, they say no overweight, elderly, or tattooed people. So... I guess you're fucked. Oh, I- We're all fucked.


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[Assistant] Jade, when were you in fucking Japan? No, I was at the one in London. Jaybirds.


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[Assistant] No, they didn't try to shank me, they were scared of me. They tried to shank you with their wieners?


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[Assistant] Alright, here's a question for ya. Where you were wrecked when you were getting pissed off at them. Because when you get excited, you, you know. I don't remember. I just remember, I just remember the walls flexing like that and, you know. I know, if you came at me freaking out on mushrooms with a big heart on, I would be afraid of you. I'd kick- I wouldn't fuck around with you. I'd kick him right in the boner. Kick him in the boner? Stun him. He can get knocked out, but I'd kick him in the boner. Oh, wouldn't stun me. Believe me. Maybe breaks your toe.


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[Assistant] So what are you saying? They do that for the food, but when they're trying to make their house?


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[Assistant] They bang a hole in the tree? Oh, I've heard people say they drill a hole for their home. So I thought that meant like they're drilling a tree. To little hips.