[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What I always want to do, you know when they, when you go to an eye doctor and they shine that li- that-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'd rather see that than the shit they pull up on their computer. I would be fascinated.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What are you talking about? I know, I, well, Sam, you can relate from all story I've heard, but I, definitely my family is like, you don't go to the doctor unless you're really fucked up. And, uhm,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like it is a little bit of, I think everyone's got a fear in the family of one. If you go, they'll tell you something real and then there's no going, you know, once you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's better, you know, ignorance is bliss. You can just not go to the doctor and just die randomly in your sleep one day, or you can go to the doctor and then you gotta sit in a bed for a while and you gotta do all these things. My, when I went, uhm, when I hung out with that tier 3, you know, friend,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We were with another like old timey friend of mine and he was telling me a story I hadn't heard where I have a scar, you can't see it now, but like under my eye. You know, I've got one in between my eyes, but I have one here. It's when we were kids, you know, just doing little boy stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And one of our, I didn't even like this guy. You know, you're at a party, there's a guy there you're not even friends with, you just gotta deal with it. I thought he was an airhead. He had, you know, what we do, what do we do? In the woods, we sharpen sticks, we whittle all the time and stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And he fell backwards at one point and stabbed me right there with like this sharpened stick. And his mom called my mom and was like, I think Sam needs to go to the doctor and get stitches. Mom didn't even ask to see it. No, she's like, no, he's fine.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, and I didn't need them, I guess. You know, she, mother's always right. Uh, but that's just, uh, you know, look at what it's like, is he alive? Is he, is it, you know, if it's not bad enough for you to take him?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because you know, I'm still living and I'm still here. I can read a book, you know. And it's like, well when I turn 70 I want to be dead. And then for some reason 70 year olds are always still wanting to live. I'm not quite sure what's going on.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I am worried I'm gonna be a bit of like a, if I have kids, like a helicopter parent, you know, going up in helicopters, I'm just joking, another awesome joke. You know, I'm already with Pip, you know, I'm very protective, you know, I gotta make sure everything's good for him, they say he's spoiled.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Him and my nephew, I mean, it just couldn't be any different than, the nephew's gonna be well adjusted in time, but he's just like a little maniac, and they're just out there, it's just a pile of goddamn beer, and my brother's new thing, he's got a really badass bow.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And my nephew's like, ah, shut up, and he goes over there and just grabs like a little dead squirrel and throws it in the woods. And I'm like, Jesus Christ. My brother's like, dude, what are you doing? Like, he's not gonna stop. You're a city boy now. Like, yea, I know. And they all, I, it's something about it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I feel my role when I go back home, you know, it's like I become what they think of me. And I'm the god damn, I'm the city slicker now, and my little sister thinks I'm gay, my older brother thinks I'm, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Awesome. My nephew hates me. They just all, you know, I'm just from a different world now because I live in the suburbs of Indianapolis and it's, their little, you know, country heads can't get it in. But uhm, kind of, yea, I kind of have a front and back yard now, so. There's a lot of, uh, neighbors.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know what it is. Yeah, you definitely, like, I get home too. I feed into it. I'm like, oh my god, like, what is all this now? I don't know what I become when I'm there. My mom and I, we've just got some dynamic. You know, I've got a, what's that called? I have a...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, no, I don't have multiple. It'll come to me a complex. I have a complex. That's been growing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My uncle did a different type of inspection when I'd see him, but, but also for a different podcast.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Unless we're gonna talk about spooky stories still, of course. I was thinking too when I went upstairs, like, you were talking to him about, like, core memory, this, kinda, well that was a cool thing. What you mentioned was actually, like, going to a, sitting in a, you know, a satellite. That's badass, you know, I've never done that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But one of my core memories that got brought out when I was with this hometown friend I hadn't really hung out with in a couple years when we went back


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There was one day where it was, it was like goddamn 4th of July, because by the public library in the woods we found a bunch of porcelain animals, like little animals made of porcelain just in the woods.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Of course, yeaah. And that, like, that was such a, you know, we thought about that for years. Like, I remember when we went out there, and then going back in that town, I'm like, hey man, you remember when we broke that? So cool. It's such a dumb, insignificant thing, but it's cool, you know, that kind of group bonding can really be brought into your later life.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I haven't, but I know my mom claims to have, and you know, I know a bunch of people that have, but I don't think there's ever been anything...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know if that's necessarily paranormal, but lots of cryptids where I'm from. Paranormal? Not so much.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, experienced. Try tasted. Yeaah. I've been inside and around a mini-acrypted in my Indian, you know, typical style. Let me taste it. Will you blow one of them or something? Yeaah, that's exactly what I was getting at. Or eat out. Yeaah, either one. Uhm, so you're in the right track though. You're somewhere, yeaah, it depends on the cryptid.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There could be a Sasquatch in southern Indiana. It's very mountainous, you know, a little. I actually saw a cool infographic lately where, uh, nah, I don't want to get into this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, they, they can wander. I mean, some of them have wings, for god's sake, but, uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, uh, have you ever experienced, Dan, any of the, well, I assume you have some sort of paranormal story if you bring it up, or maybe you don't.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I get people that bring up like something we talked about two months ago. How do you expect me to remember that? All I, I just blah blah, you know, I just talk. I'm not


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, now we really are talking about it a lot, but not daily I don't smoke any, but you get me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Almost the competition of trying to find one at a bar and like being able to...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Something, something weird, you know, when I get drunk, I just become, I'm already like a bit of, I think naturally like a little bit of a people pleaser, you know, I like everything to be copacetic. When I get drunk, I'm just obnoxious with how much I'm like talking to every person there, compliment every fucking outfit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then I get a cigarette from one guy, introduce him to another guy I've never met this night. You know, I'm just trying to get everyone to be friends. The cigarette aspect, it's always like, they're always the coolest people outside. You know, I got there, I'll give you two for one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Certain ones, but not really. And I like, honestly, I like going outside to get a breath of fresh air, so, no problem with me. But there's set ones for it. I don't even know if it's legal, actually. But there are bars here where you can smoke inside.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And Jules hit so hard in Indiana, you know, probably in a lot of places, but in Indiana, like my freshman year, every, you know, everyone's smoking them in class, blowing them in their fucking shirts or ghosts in them or whatever. And I don't, you know, I was like, no sir, no sirree, you know, I'm a sir goody two shoes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And uh, yeah, it's like, you have one drunk cigarette. This is awesome. I did try, you know, like a week ago, I tried to dry. I hadn't had a sip of beer in me and a guy's like, here, take this. It tastes like goddamn dog shit. Like, I don't know, I was like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Probably not anymore. At this level of addiction, probably not. But I'd prefer it. A little bit of, you know, some sort of, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't even like smoking weed in my house, though. We go outside for that. So cigarettes, you know, we'd never... My roommate simply wouldn't allow it inside, but I've got an awesome stacking ashtray. It's like five ashtrays.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know how my, my dad is always when I was a kid, he was like, swear to me, swear you'll never buy cigarettes. So this, you know, psychological work around I've done and so I'm like, I don't buy cigarette packs. You know, I buy them for, you know, money at bars.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And somehow though, I know my mom just quit cold turkey and I've never heard her once, you know, she was a har- you know, she used to ride a Harley. She used to have a little biker bar, you know, she was smoking cigarettes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I caught her once after she told me she quit outside and I think I really instilled some wisdom in her. I went, not.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Not good. And, uh, she just quit and she's- I've never once heard her talk about like, God, I want a fucking cigarette. I bet she thinks it a lot more than she says.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But also her dad was in like, probably more from...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I know and it's like, I don't know why I started that. Sorry, go on, please take me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Should get some sort of top hat with a big hole in it that can put your camera in, strap it to your head and conceal it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm just getting back into the conversation. Next time my dog goes ham, I do have to go again. That's when the guy will be here. He'll be here in like 11 minutes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, you know, yeah, it's not your, you know, your, your fight necessarily. It's just people. It's free will. If only we could control them all, you know, don't, don't go there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just watch it and not even jerk off. Just be like, I like the story.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're not moving the pile to the chair and then back again in the morning.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Your magnum opus during that time could have been, you know, your place is just filled with all this decay and all this rotting pizza and shirts and so you could have made a video through your own house. Like, oh my god.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Relations are in order. That's appropriately timed.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cool, like when you're finally like, I'm free, cut it off.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's sensual in a way, to the point where I'm going, God, I hope I don't get a boner. I'd really be so embarrassing if I got a boner right now. I would have someone touch me like this ever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've got news, I've got my vices, you know, I spend, spend on some things.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I still remember I was great clips. I was either my dad's neighbor my entire life, just giving me buzz cuts. And then it's like one day I got upgraded to great clips and it's like, okay, you can grow that out a little.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then I remember the first time I went to a sports clips from a great clips cause you know, it's like sports clips was some dude paradise or whatever what's going on here. And they put the goddamn hot towel on my face for a second and I didn't think I'd ever top that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And now here I am once again toppling sports clips with a plate that massages my head.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it's awesome. It really is awesome. They take forever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I always, I even make the joke to them, I look like an American Girl doll when they get me out of there. Cause my hair, they just soften it all out and they like, give me like, always looks like a little bob on the first day.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It takes about, you know, classic haircut stuff takes like four days for it to really start looking good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think I was streaming or something, he was just ecstatic, and he was like, I accidentally got a happy ending. I thought I was just going for a regular massage. Accidentally. Yea, no, he was like, genuinely, you know, I've just been tight.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I gotta start getting some goddamn massages. I'm doing something wrong. I could- I could just stave off hands. I could just-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is this webcam frozen for anyone else?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm not, I'm not flexible. I, I never have and I probably never will be. I mean, I didn't take the class very seriously. My teacher was also about nine months pregnant for the second year and the third year was...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Gotta, you know, she was too pregnant or had a child or something and she got replaced with a woman that was about 70.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Everyone said scam, it's not really a scam, we just go, hey, today, can we go actually practice tennis outside, or can we play soccer? She's like, I don't give a shit dude, like I don't know shit about yoga. Cool.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's like 103 in Indiana right now. It's fucking crazy. Heat wave out the ass. I tried working out in my garage yesterday. I was doing some hot yoga. Really, I just felt bad for my roommate afterwards because there was just puddles everywhere I snapped and I'm like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, I sprayed it, I sprayed it down, but it's like in, it's just absorbing in the mats before I can wipe it, so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, well I think, you know, it's like when I was a kid and I was scared of taking karate, cause, you know, I'm like, my dad wanted me to take it for some reason, some little boy reason.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I was in my head about, do I have to break, I don't think I can break a wooden plank. That's something you build up to. I didn't realize that. I'm sure you don't start with the tire, you know, it's all mental. I'm like, I can't, I know I can't punch through a wooden plank right now. Why am I going to sign up and get humiliated?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Turns out, yeaah, that's not a day one type deal. You're gonna get to that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My, uh, friend just got here and I gave him a beer. I'm like, yeah, I mean, stay up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] After the podcast, he's like, well you can probably hear me, there's a hole through my room into the guest room. He just drove from Texas on two hours of sleep, the most incredible driving stamina in a man I've ever met in my life.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Probably 13, 14 hours. Jesus Christ.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I can't believe. I can't drive fucking three hours without passing out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, this place rocks. Sam, you should go there. I went for a Christmas- my mom loves Christmas shit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Not as much as Halloween, but you know, she loves her Christmas stuff. We went there. They, you know, take the family. It's beautiful snow fucking scenery everywhere. You go in the hot spring at night or during the day. I mean really anytime. There's all this dock holiday shit everywhere. Uh, really cool little town. Hot.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Worker at the bar in the hotel, I flirted with her for like a week straight, never got to the name stage, you know. Didn't seem natural. We were wearing masks.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know how the top of one of the hills is kind of like a miniature amusement park?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's a cavern up there I think we went into in the mountain. And I remember they have those things where you ride little carts.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, it's just billowing, so you can't see the town from up there. Right. We did one of those things, I didn't have gloves, I had a fucking like little jacket on, and it was one of the worst runs. Yea, I know, the whole time I'm like, I need to break, but it's so god, there's things like metal, and I'm like, ga ga ga ga ga ga.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I gotta go in that cave or something, I gotta get in the spring.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sam, you're, you gotta repeat. You gotta repeat. You're going like 10 pixel.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Stand back a little. Okay, go back to what you were saying. There's a kid, there's siblings in a geyser.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh wait, I was going to say Alex Arnold or whatever. I watched his free solo thing. Badass, but he knows the risks. He knows the risks. But he free solo'd that big ass mountain face.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And uh, very intense, very intense. And it's like no cables, no nothing, they're just, they're just putting their hands in little rocks and making fists and powdering fists and, you know, just some incredible feats of strength.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Stolen Valor, only milkman should get that kind of paralysis.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's no stopping him, everyone's like, well, you know, it's what, it's what he truly loves, so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But for like four weeks, there's been this listing on Facebook Marketplace where, you know, of course I gotta pay my taxes, so I'm not gonna be buying any cars or anything. But there's a Lincoln Continental that's like a 1978, it looks like the most comfortable car I've ever seen in my life.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The back seat and the front seat, it's just this plush red leather, like it looks like there are really like 10 people in there. And it's, I watched, listen to this, when I started thinking about a purchase, I mean, I'm like, oh my God, I was like watching YouTube videos. I was looking at what, what does insurance cost?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And everyone's like, this is, you're driving a boat, like you are just gliding the, it's got the, I learned a fun fact, like the second longest hood ever put on a


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, they're badass. Corridor. It's got those little windows, and this one in that listing, a rare sunroof that still works. And I'm just thinking about how I'm nervous parking my hybrid car at parking lots if they're too full.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause I don't like to like squeeze in there. And if I were driving something this wide and long and large and with no fucking backup, you know, monitor, I'd absolutely blast something.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But all the reviews are saying you can fucking tear a Nissan in half with this thing. Like you can just absolutely cut through cars and you're not going to feel a goddamn pinch. And I've been thinking about it a lot, but also


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Posted in the podcast boys. Just what it looks like. It's so sexy. It's gorgeous.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But it's gonna be gone soon, it's a great deal according to Kelley Blue Books, so. You can only run for about twice that price, so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is that a thing I need to do when I become an adult? Is buy a cool old car? Like, do I need my own? Because I'm not gonna get hers. It's definitely gonna go to one of my siblings.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Maybe I need to start building my own cool car collection. I wouldn't-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah. I kinda wanna, like, uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uuuh. Oh, it was Schitt's Creek. That's not as exciting. Yeah, I think it's a use in a couple shows. I was expecting


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm more of a continental man because this one marketplace ad that's just been, they cut a price of $5,000 and I've just been staring at it every, every couple days.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] People were like, dude, I hit a fucking, I hit a goddamn metal sign. I didn't even know I had hit it yet. Like, it didn't even hurt my car. That's some American muscle right there. That's some, that's some...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I strongly considered it last week, cause I saw it and I'm like, it's not a great place to walk through. And I'm thinking,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's- I mean, I've had that exact thought before in my car, like, this guy goes nuts, I'm gonna-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The problem is, I need like three beers before I get to that point truly, so I'd have to be drunk driving them in a way to be like, really, like, come on, fill up the car, fill up the car.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've dabbled in some photography and some collage work and what not. It's a nice artistic expression.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Totally derailment, sorry, but I've gotten the glasses, they look perfectly like I have cartoon eyes and eyebrows. In the sunglasses, like with those lights.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, fuck it is. I didn't even notice. Let's just have a little computer.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is my office. I finally had some people in it recently and they realized how like it's very hard to move around and it's not very because they're like


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] People always tell me to put big shit behind me. You can't.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, there's disco ball, there's brazier, there's this light. It's a lot of, I hit that a lot. The shrine. The shrine, it's very narrow. The blazing bonfire. I've got a goddamn little coffee table kind of in between the fire and the couch, so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When we do those collages, I'll sit right in it. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is he five? He's five years. You got about five years to get the hell out of there. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They just had a thing where it's like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Perks or anything, but the cost of living is so incredibly goddamn low. It's pretty awesome. That's what was keeping me here too. If I lived in any big city I want to live in, I'd be absolutely financially savaged. I mean, I would have, I wouldn't be able to pay these taxes from a year ago that I can still barely pay for.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] To be honest, the fauna ain't too hard either. I don't like a lot of the creature and plant life of Florida. It's too- you can't climb a tree there. It's too rough. Oh my god, now I'm on a-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'd like to double back and retract. These are real sunglasses that I bought, and they're cool. And I'm gonna wear them for now till ever, cause they conceal a lot, and, uh, um, uh, I got nothing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, I got no closing. Uh, watch Dan. Watch Dan's channel. Uhm. Oh yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Brian, you got anything? Any closing remarks? Anything you wanna- You've been real talky. I'm fucking tired as hell, man.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, Hogwarts came out, that's a game. You guys think about that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Speaking of teeth, uh, Poo, how about your, uh, how's your teeth? It's your hygiene.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I thought it was a snack, it's like little shirts for babies, what the fuck is this?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Other side of Ohio. Well, I mean, you live like statewide. The east side. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If we ever do another camping trip, I should probably not get out of breath in 30 seconds because I, uh, I like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A week. I honestly need to go back to- Or two weeks. Really? Cause I get like anxious now. You know, I- I don't know if it's-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm like a hyperchondriac and it's like amplified when I'm high. Like I remember like randomly when I was really high, I was just like, oh my God, I used baby powder on my asshole for like a year. What if I have like cancer now? Cause I remember like all those people were getting cervical cancer.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Ask him if he thinks Miley Cyrus is actually dead and that it's a fake one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Askin' things about like a pay raise and goin' on about like uh, havin' rights, all that stuff. Billy Ray was havin' none of it, yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's the one where he gets hit by a car and on his bike and the guy's like, here's a check for whatever your bike costs. And he put like a million dollars down. Oh, I haven't seen that. And he like, he like buys like this huge mansion.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Did all your classmates wear helmets? Like, what the fuck was going on in there?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do a little hat tip. It's badass. I mean Denzil's definitely winning that one. He's got like a sweet feather on his.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Now he looks normal. Is that what's happening? Apparently he lost viewers after he showed his face. I don't know what the fuck they thought was gonna happen.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It got bought by Tencent, so I don't know, I don't think Chinese people give a shit about Subway.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, you got, you have a lot of nice, like, over in the US, they have so many places to eat. Like, if I had, if I was surrounded by shit like you, I probably wouldn't even eat McDonald's. Why go to McDonald's when


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it was ca- I think you said it was Cod... black ops 1, right? Yeah, something like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Last of us again? No, the last of us? No, I haven't seen it. I haven't seen a single episode. Oh, why not? Cause I haven't played the game in a while.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, you need to learn English accents so we can


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He had shits in the urinal though. He might have changed his name for, for, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, the easiest way to put it is just a prison guard. Like, there's no other way to, as the title of it, if that makes sense. It's just a straight up prison guard. Cause let me tell you something.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I had a colleague who was down in like, Somalia.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He told me all about this when he came back, obviously. He was there as some sort of diplomat to see if they follow like actual guidelines and, you know, he was down there for about six months, I think. Uh, just, you know, spying and see how they do a prison compared to us.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He came back with something even worse. So apparently they're giving shovels and the gate is completely open. So they're free to leave.


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[Assistant] However, there is a guy with an AK, right next to the uhm, the actual gate on Entire Prism.


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[Assistant] He's been working for like, he's been working in prisons almost his entire life. So, you know, he has the experience. So that's what they send him and nobody else kind of cannot do.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do all the audio tracks. I was confused. I was like, what do I need? Like software wise the beer and you were like, here's a link.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That was actually one of the few I didn't work with.


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[Assistant] But you know, I was a high security person, so we had, you know, all kinds of criminals, you can imagine. But personally, I worked in the


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We have like separated blocks for what they've done or what kind of clients they are. Uh, so I worked in the violence in close relationships part for the most of my time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So that means, you know, your average wife beaters to, you know, child murders, that kind of thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, like, food-wise, we're talking Lunchables quality, it's, you know, nothing special.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, sadly, I'm very sad to say there are no bars in that kind of way.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They have like doors with a small little hatch that you open up essentially. Ah, before you open up the action. You can, you can. It's like a little tiny box where you can do whatever you want with, kind of thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It normalizes amongst itself, you know? Uh, yeaah, it does, it does. Like, but I do still. Like man on man.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It just goes so natural. So eventually you, like, you don't give a shit what he actually did for a crime. You just say prisoner in your eyes. Does that make sense?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's the, uh, door now. It's an olden symbol.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's the same lucky charm that I've had for a long, long while.


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[Assistant] No, no, absolutely not. Absolutely not.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I remember seeing a screenshot, it was like 30 planes that managed to land on a tiny island. It was like the first day that it launched as well. It was like a bunch of 200s of people just landed there for a visit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That says something, you know, it says something, it's popular.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, is the mosque worth pressure washing away? It's kind of what Simon's wanting to hear.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know, seeing a player game, just, you know, don't catch my interest the same way as multiplayer wants to.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, absolutely, absolutely. I mean, if you look what's popular, you know, yeah, TikTok, for example, they're like a max 10 seconds long, you know, attention span is just going down. You want entertainment and it's supposed to be instant, you know?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I wanted to go, but I'm just not going to France for this new world. That's just not happening.


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[Assistant] It's so horrible, but you can't just look away because it's so bad. It's just something so charming about it. Like a train.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, if you can like anime, okay, but don't make it your fucking personality if that makes sense. And like anime equals Japan, you know, that kind of stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, do you guys still do those Irem games? I mean, if you make it to them, then you'd be fine, I think, you know? It's a few hours with your friends. Yeah, don't you do like an Irem? That's, yeah, no, no, I play games every night.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think, I think that's why Valorant and that kind of stuff is popular, because the most you can wait in Valorant without any action is one minute, and that's if you die, you know, instantly. So that's why I think- The problem is I die instantly.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think that's part of it because I just don't do that whatsoever. You know, I'm always walking around doing something. I can't just go outside and look at the sun for a while and then just come back in. Doesn't work. Your brain just rewires, dude. I swear to God.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Can you buy like small boxes of mushrooms and just so I can spray some water on them and then it takes three days and they're fully grown.


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[Assistant] I mean, Wellen is literally built like a farmer, you know, I can see him tilling the soil on all fours, you know, just crawling around.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Welcome to Forehead Fables Podcast. We got another guest two in one month.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's a record of some sort. Yeah, that's like, we've been listening a little bit to audience feedback.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is that what they were saying? Yeah, they were like, you guys suck. You guys need like some- You need somebody else to- You need some people out there with life experience on the goddamn podcast. You have something to talk about. And so-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I went out and I found the guy with the most life experience out there. We got Wranglerstar.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The quintessential, uh, like homesteading channel out there. Best YouTube shorts in the game. And then I've noticed very recently there's been maybe a slight turn towards, I don't want to say paranoia.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I know, that's why it's funny. Yeah, that's why it's good. There's nothing worse than getting, uh, like people that are in your exact same vein on your podcast. You know, cause it's just, you're like having a conversation with yourself almost.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, I, I did see one of the funniest, like, not primed, I wasn't just in that frame of mind, I was like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Playing with my kids, having fun with the family and stuff, and then uhm,


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[Assistant] In the RAM and everything. You know they're gonna turn on us.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh yeaah, eventually, eventually yeaah, we'll be, we'll be bowing at their feet, at their little robo feet.


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[Assistant] I don't like how Boston Dynamics is training them to like, do somersaults and jump up stuff.


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[Assistant] And, and like goes up scaffolding and stuff, like just keep it on flat ground, like warehouse floors. It doesn't need to be able, it doesn't need to be able to scale up stuff with heavy loads, I don't think.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, everybody's acting like there's gonna be some sort of race war or something, or like, some sort of like, Republicans versus Democrats war. I think all that's gonna blow over the second, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, Euphrates is drying up. The big Salt Lake in Utah, it's like a fraction of what it used to be.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I should find a plot of land somewhere, in a good water rich environment.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, a pretty solid alternative to Diet Coke. I'm not gonna lie, I got that COVID and after that it like messed with my taste buds.


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[Assistant] I don't want big coke to hear this or anything, but it's been tasting different ever since.


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[Assistant] Every day? No, I don't leave the house.


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[Assistant] I got this, I got this trusty 22. That's my home defense. Yeaah. I figure if I shoot him once in each eyeball or something, or like aim for the jugular.


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[Assistant] I would, that's what you should do for your next YouTube show is just see at what caliber bullet does someone just turn around and walk out without


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[Assistant] I've also seen the ladies like the Instagram models sitting there like on their phone just like taking selfies and there's just a guy unloading on the bulletproof window with an AK. It's like, it's just like a marketing video of like, this is how safe it is. Yeah. Right. Yeah. So you're,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, uh, Key West is, uh, actually I feel like there's weird parallels between Key West and then kind of where you are.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like in terms of just like, uh, like the hippies and the people sleeping on the street.


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[Assistant] Yeah, I, I grew up hearing legends of Hurricane Andrew because my, my uncle put together like a roofing business that sustained the family for 10 years based off of Andrew. They would go around just knocking door to door.


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[Assistant] And yeaah, they just replaced a bunch of roofs in town. Cause we're like not...


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[Assistant] We're too far inland to actually have like houses, you know, blown away. But what we have is a lot of live oak trees. And the trees just end up falling on top of houses. Or branches beat them up or whatever. So you could actually not have that much damage to a house and get a whole new roof. Which is pretty badass.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Evi told me I should drink one of these a day. You're not putting in work. No, no, I realized I could, I could actually use this spread it out over about five days.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's not dark, it's not clear, it just gets darker towards the bottom for, cause that's the style of the water bottle.


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[Assistant] Uh, then after that, uh, have you ever seen that movie 28 Weeks Later?


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[Assistant] That guy was set up. He had a nice job and everything. They find him later in the movie. And, uh, his life is awesome. And then, uhm,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] One hand, a rifle, or foot, and then run. What the hell are you doing? No, I, um, honestly, I, my house, I got, uh, not much, to be honest. I got like firearms. That's about it. Traps like marbles. Mosquito Joe.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, he's killed off every insect, bird, and mammal in the surrounding, like, mile radius. Uh, so, not much game to be hunted. Uh, yeah, I don't really, I never even really thought about it. I always just kind of figured Uncle Sam would take care of me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, so we have, in my audience, we have like a bunch of, uhm,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There are diamonds in the rough, diamonds in the rough. Is there any, well first I would say like what are like the, what are some things that you would think a kid would need to


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Get a helmet without good crumple protection. So when you fall, it's still just, you're left paraplegic or whatever. Yeaah. That would probably be the way to go, yeaah. I think honestly, if I was to, if things were to break out, I'd probably try to defend. Defend? Yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What, okay, how about this? Society's fallen, right? You're on constant alert.


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[Assistant] And you're always looking down that driveway with your, uh, ghillie suit on and your...


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[Assistant] Do you have one of those bug out bags? You're talking about just getting up and like leaving at a moment's notice. Do you have like just like a bag of goodies?


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[Assistant] That's a, that's a good idea. I think you could be the guy getting tribute.


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[Assistant] Yeah, yeah. And then, and then, uh, high school I found out I wasn't smart enough for that so I dropped out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. Kids started bringing like laptops to school. I can't like dip their pigtails into paint and shit anymore cause everything's electronic now. It sucks. So my high school experience wasn't great, but you totally dodged that question. You didn't say it. You seem like, you seem like a guy that was very shy in high school. Were you a shy guy?


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[Assistant] Woah. And it was up there in the Pacific Northwest?


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[Assistant] Wait, was it, was it the Raj? No, what, what were those guys that like? The Raj Nishis.


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[Assistant] Oh, you're, uh, I've heard you talk about your grandfather a lot. Was he part of, he was a part of that whole?


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[Assistant] Commune or what, was he a founding, a founding father?


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[Assistant] I dropped below my birth weight a couple times and they had to force feed me stuff. They probably would just chuck me out in the wood pile. If I was born in your little commune.


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[Assistant] Yeaah, damn. That, um, yeaah, that sucks. But, uh, is it still around?


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[Assistant] I have a family member that goes hunting and then I just get all the meat from them, but I don't have to.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They know when they're not gonna be messed with, dude. You'll find, like, if they know they can't be shot, you go out to, like, uh, uhm, like, when I was in, like, Estes Park, Colorado. Oh, where it's like a legal out of city? Yeah, like, they know they're not gonna get shot out there, so it's just, the countryside's full of them.


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[Assistant] I've seen that too, they turn into like ballerinas and they just bring it down like a jam.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just like this tiny little Irish alcoholic guy was, he was out in the yard, uh, using, um, uh, a scythe to cut grass.


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[Assistant] But he was cutting the grass with a, with a big scythe and the family dog, like just ran up next to him and caught


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The scythe like under its belly and just completely disemboweled it and my grandfather was like


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[Assistant] Six. Like he's young as hell, sees the family dog get completely disemboweled, and then my grandfather, or my great grandfather, just goes over there and pokes all the intestines back in and sews them back up, and the dog lived like another eight, nine years, yeaah.


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[Assistant] That's like a lord of the rings perspective, like force perspective thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh nice. Are those cans of gasoline right next to your wood stove? Directly behind you? Yes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Are those like, like steam powered fans? Those are awesome.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know what you need to do for your, that's your next prepper tip, is you need to hire a handyman and then whenever, randomly have him quick draw on you and see if your reflexes. Paintball guns or something.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then I have, uh, like an axe by some other company. It's some like Italian company. And I swear, like I'm not an outdoorsman guy. All right. I know you're like forestry service dude, like one with the trees and stuff. Are you really? But this axe, it's like the, the, the thing's not like the metal isn't like tempered, right? Or something like that. It's too soft. I swear. Like it's dull. The second I use it. Italian.


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[Assistant] Yeah, it didn't get like heat treated. They don't cut wood over there. Yeah. It's called like a, like a purd or something like that, or a purdy, I don't know. Man, we're like a turdy. Is that what it is? What's it called?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You are absolutely right about Grand Force Brooks. Those are some damn good cutting implements. Yeah, quality stuff.


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[Assistant] Yeaah, yeaah, they got the... Those big foot things? No, I haven't. Oh wait, are you talking like a big platform basically on...


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[Assistant] It is pitch black, it's the middle of the night, he's out in the Everglades barefoot, and he's just like...


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[Assistant] There's people that go, they go like out and they explore and hunt in this place called Tate's Hell nearby.


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[Assistant] Yeah, you're fi- Poob, you're gonna need to- Oh shit. Yeah, re-up that fire, dude. That's pathetic, Cody's isn't even halfway done burning. It hasn't even wavered. His looks great!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This guy apparently, way back in the day, he, he got lost out, out in Taytel. He was following his cattle. And they went out into this swamp.


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[Assistant] And he followed him out there, and I forget how many-


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[Assistant] He might have been out there for like 48 hours or something like that, but he basically wandered through Tate's Hell for, uh, yeaah.


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[Assistant] He goes wandering through it and comes out the other side covered in leeches and shit. And he had been like fighting off alligators and just bitten by everything covered in like poison ivy and stuff. And he, and he just like, he walks out and goes like, my name's Tate and I've just been through hell. And then I think he died. Everyone agreed. Everybody was like, damn dude, that guy's messed up. That guy on TikTok.


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[Assistant] What were you saying Cody? I'm sorry. Did he find his cows? I don't know if he f- no, I think he died. I think his cows are probably gone and I think he died immediately afterwards. It was like his version of like, the, the runner from Marathon, you know, that reaches his destination and then keels over. Yeah. And, um.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But people hear that story and go, hey, let's go out there and hunt and hang out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Everyone, you ever see those opium dens from like those old movies from the 1800s? Yea. Where'd those go? Those seemed like a great time. And they're gone.


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[Assistant] Have you seen, I've seen posts of it on the internet, but have you seen like the re-emergence of Hoovervilles? Like people that are just getting RVs together in like vans and then they make like these little. Oh yeaah. Just settlements, like homeless settlements. It's happening right here.


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[Assistant] Yeah, your area seems to be like the hotbed, and you see that stuff start popping up and you go, damn, like, the last time this was around was the Great Depression. What's about to happen?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If, if the people can afford like an RV or like a big car. Just like the Great Depression times, there's newspaper boys out down the streets.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, you can tell these are people that used to be lower middle class and then they've just slipped out. You know, they've, it's pushing them out into homelessness.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cody, you wanna, you wanna see a good YouTuber? Have you ever heard of this guy Lindybeige?


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[Assistant] Have you heard of him? No? He does like weird like historical videos about like, I don't know, different shit, but he does have this one video that is so out of his uh, wheelhouse and knowledge area, but it is an interesting point, and it's that uhm,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, there's some animals out there that I think are on the verge of extinction that, uhm, they wouldn't be if they had a practical use. And...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, for example, like sheep and goats and stuff are never going extinct because we use them. They're, they're like, uh, they're something that we farm.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And uhm, and they're domesticated and stuff now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah. No, he brought up, uh, he brought up manatees.


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[Assistant] He was like, he was like, manatees, they are basically domesticated already, and you know there has to be a lot of meat on them suckers, like if we just breed them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You don't want a rooster. Yeah, roosters, they suck. They're dicks.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm gonna get a chicken coop, I think.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I'm thinking I'm gonna get one mostly because everybody's complaining about the price of eggs. It really, I feel like I could buy a million eggs before I...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Are you kidding me? If I walked up his driveway, post-apocalyptic, with a big basket full of eggs, I would be-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, first of all, I'm going to preface this with, it depends how it plays out.


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[Assistant] Cody, go to your email and, and, cause you know you have people that write in that are like not quite as prepared as you. Like they're, they're starting to get there, but they're not quite there. That's what you want to go for. I feel like. Yeah. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's what we need for sure. Do you get a lot of, uh, do you get a lot of like emails from what you would consider the crazies? Do you get the crazies?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That sucks. I mean, well, yeaah. That's alright.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do you think you were, do you think you were, it was like one of those things where you didn't like it but it was on the whole it shaped you as a better person? That's what it sounds like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah, but then you have to deal with uhm, you know, you get shocked and stuff, you die.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There is something to be said about like using the things that hurt. Like my back never felt better until I started doing like squats and stuff and then it's like it hurts like hell at first and then you're supposed to have muscles to like, like support those bones and everything. I've got a big head so it's like I need to


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, they have like, uhm, set, like different eye colors. Aren't those the dogs that have the two different eyes? Yeah. That's awesome.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, trapped him and it turns out, yeah, he was like tiny. Like I, I like panic saw him and thought like, damn, that's like a giant New York city rat. And it turned out to be this little cute little thing. Yeah. And then I found out it's actually really unethical and horrible to have to then kill a mouse that's stuck to an adhesive pad.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And lit it loose? Oh, I was thinking, kinda like, like the guillotine seems so violent and everything, but it's honestly probably one of the more humane ways of killing someone we've come up with.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Remember when we were making fun of that guy Charisma on Command?


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[Assistant] If you're gonna have an emotionless animal, you might as well be like a bird guy, cause at least they talk to you. Or fish. Yea. Or fish.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm trying to figure out this guy's life, like, uh, timeline. You said you're 53, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Maybe, yeaah. Okay, what about J-Beebs? What about Bieber?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I got two daughters, but my nephews... boys. Those are my workers. Oh, your nephews are boys? Wow.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Your son would probably still have like, three times as many skills as us. Like, what, what, like, uh, what age can you start using them for manual labor and stuff? Like cleaning out the gutters and then, and then, and then doing the sleep hours.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's several people in my family that I've looked at as fine examples of what not to do.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I had to watch my uncle basically, uh, his shoulders and hips and everything gave out on him and his, and his...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Early fifties from just working way too hard and...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It, uh, it sucks. It sucks like watching someone that like, uh, their mind is still there, but the body is not able to keep up with it. And not just like in a general aging way, but in a way where it's like, you can tell he's, he's like, what the hell? I want to be outside. I want to be doing stuff and I can't, you know, that sucks more than anything.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Was still alive when you had your YouTube channel going.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, y-you guys have, y-you're all close together and stuff, cause you got the, the whole, the cult thing. I forgot about that. You got married early, had kids early.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I've, I've explained it to my, my grandparents and stuff, like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What it is is it's jealousy because I don't have to put up with an asshole boss or go to a shitty place and work with people I don't want to work with.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, we actually had a, we had like a small little thing planned for this exact conversational change here. I have to use math really badly.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. No, cause you were like, I'm, I'm hip and stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know what thugshaker is, I think. What we're gonna do is we have, we have zoomer terms, Cody. And we're gonna see if you knew what the zoomer terms were. Thugshaker. Okay. I don't know what thugshaker is though. Do you know what that is? Do you know the definition of that?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That is exactly what it is. Yeah, actually a black dude's ass. Damn. We never would have got that. Alright, so that's a little tester. That's- Oh, okay. What we have is we have some zoomer terms and we're going to see how hip you are. Okay. So define, let's see, fam. You know what fam is? Fam?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, pretty much, yeah. But you can also, it's also like used interchangeably with like bro. But I'm hanging, I'm hanging with a fam tonight. Yeah. Dude, we...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it's definitely one of those things that even like, all the people that I know that play seriously, they still do it. Like sometimes they're like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've just had a successful run, but uh, I am here at the exit 10 minutes early. I'll just sit here for a bit. See if anybody else is rolling around the corner. No reason to get in a hurry. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But no, sip tea has nothing to do with tea bagging. It's actually... I don't know what sip tea is. It's an alternative to spilling the tea, meaning you're sitting back...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What the hell's up with the north up there, dude? You asked for tea and they just bring you like root water and a glass.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hey wait, here's a good question for you Cody, does your, uhm, you got that five year old, my daughter's right behind, mine's like about to turn five. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, like you seem probably to have like a pretty good structured home life. I'm sure having a kid at, at like 50 year-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You, you have a better idea of how to shape a person's mind and stuff so they turn out, uhm, they turn out like upstanding members of society and stuff like that. But does your kid ever say weird like what you would consider maybe evil type stuff? Is that like a normal course of, of growing up or, or do I have trouble on my hands?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is that what it is? Yeaah. Are you sure? Like, you gotta hear some of this shit. Yeaah. I was about to say, I went on a camping trip with my dad and my brother with my brother's kids and I brought my daughter and like, on the car ride, it was just me and her.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And she's a little bit more vocal about stuff when, when, uh, my wife's not around, cause...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, Abby's really the iron fist of the family. I kind of will just talk about whatever. And uhm...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] She's, it's like really quiet in the car and she just goes, you know, she's in the like little seat behind me. And she's like, hey, uh, dad? I go, yeah, honey. She goes,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Have you ever seen like a video of like a kid getting hit by a car on a bike and then like the kid dies? And I go, no I haven't seen anything like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, do you, you, get her a little box of, uh, of Band-Aids.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We had to stop watching certain shows, cause, uh, like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Dexter's Lab, like the old Dexter's Lab, they just say stupid a lot. And so, just- Which is fine. Yeah, which is fine, but I don't know, when they start directing like angry words and mean words like that towards people while talking about skinning stuff, that's not a good combination.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They don't get that someone's the antagonist, like someone's the bad guy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think it's always good for the dad to have a very different set of rules than the mom.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm trying to think like, what are those movies of youth for your age group Cody? Like what was, were you seeing like Animal House?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wait, oh wait, so the actual like lodge that was the outside building was in your neck of the woods?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh. Huh. Yeah, I've always watched that movie and I thought like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The inside proportions do not match up with the outside image.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause it just seems like it's kind of a, you know, like it looks like a big place, but then they show the inside and it's just massive in the movie. It's way bigger than the thing it looks like. That's the scariest part.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] On wheels. And so that when you're, they're doing those continuous shots where they, they follow Jack Nicholson as he's making his way to the guy that tells him about the job and goes like, Hey, you're not going to kill your family with an ax, are you? That whole scene, they actually move.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think he did the same thing in um, uh, Clockwork Orange. Like the, the, the scene where he's, he then like, after his treatment he goes back to the old guy's house where he like, murdered his wife and stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like every time they flip back between the two guys, they've moved around, like rearranged all the stuff on the, on the dinner table, so it just seems like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know, disjointed. But it just seems like a really shitty continuity error. I don't feel like that's a-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I get the feeling honestly that Kubrick wasn't even a big fan of the book.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I think he was like, I'm gonna use this as a basis to make a damn good movie. But I'm not a fan of both.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Stephen King went out of his way to like, make another version of The Shining, and it has the worst child actor I've ever seen in it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] King acts like it's, it did the book justice. He's like, this is it, man. This is the perfect rendition adaptation of my book. And it's a horrible film. Yeah. It's really bad. But actually slept on.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's, I'm sorry Cody, hold on a second. The uhm, the Stephen, it's Stephen King related, I'm sorry. There is a mini-series from the early 90s of Stephen King's The Stand, which was like an awesome post-apocalyptic book, and it's, I think it's like 10 episodes or something like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it rocks. It's actually really good. Nobody talks about it. I think it's awesome.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh no, I was going to say the most horrific part of it is, the premise is a fog rolls in and all of a sudden there's like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Monsters. Yeah, there's like crea- like tentacles will come out of the fog and drag people away and stuff. There's like a bunch of different monsters in it, but the real-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Part that always disturbed me as a kid was they all, uh, all these survivors pack into like basically a convenience store or a grocery store and very quickly in the span of like six hours, like occult forms and they start sacrificing people to the monsters and I'm like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Actually, you know what movie kind of messed me up as a kid that this kind of, it's not really your, your area, but it's very, um,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's very like, uh, alpine-y. I don't know, it's wilderness. No, it's this movie called, uhm, The Edge.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do you think you could have gone like, ahh, and scared him off, or was he going in for the kill?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Did you, you, you send that bad boy off to get processed? You get that skin?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, my father-in-law takes a deer head and then he puts it in a giant ant pile and then he covers it with a bucket and he...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then I get it and I kill it with like a cool, you know, with my cool rifle or whatever. Yeah. If I shuriken right in the, right in the eye. Um, I'm definitely going to use every bit of it, you know, I would make like armor out of its bones.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I always thought it's weird that like, people eat alligator tail here, but you never see like, other parts of alligators. I have a feeling...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Anyways, yeah, you wanna, eh, you know what I was thinking about earlier, actually, before we wrap this up? You know, uhm, have you seen that AI, like you can train AI to sound like people now? Yeah. That's how they do it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I was gonna say Wranglerstar here has so many videos.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh really? I was thinking about kind of dropping the veil and using my full name. You said that's dangerous.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The subscribers or do you stay strapped because of the general vibe of your area?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But what was your go-to back in the day before, now I'm sure it's something with like a holographic site and like... I carried out...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh yea. My dad carries a derringer with no trigger guard and it's in a fanny pack and then there's just-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No permits? That's awesome. They should do that with cars too. You should just be able to get in a car and just drive.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do you think like, do you think like that mace stuff even works?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I- I've heard there's definitely like different grades of it, like some people, like there's some that you just like spray people and they're like, I'm irritated.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then I've definitely seen the ones that the cops spray people and they're just like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wait, so aren't mountain lions the ones that like at night they just sound like a woman screaming? They do. Oh, that's terrifying.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it was good stuff. Thank you for being on Cody.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Are you kidding me? I think I could take on a mountain line with Edward. If one drop.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, you saw what he did with those topiary trees. Uh huh. And that waterbed, he barely touched it. He just sprung a leek. That would be that mountain lion, dude. That would come from all ends.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was in the plans, but then, uhm, uh, Bizzle, like, one of the main guys on that trip.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, they found like a dead body behind his house and then uh, he ended up having to move or whatever because of it. Yeah, and so then they uhm, he's been just like moving around trying to get his roots resettled so it wasn't a great time to go hiking.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] San Diego is like a house where they had cut it up and like turned it into basically like a tenement type building, you know, they're like cramming people in.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And they moved in, like some meth heads behind him. And he was like, oh, this is bad news. He's like, weird meth head guys moved in. And then very shortly afterwards, they find like a body back there. And...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, I don't know, it's just weird. And everybody kind of got forced out of there. And he's like, I have nothing to do with it. I'm not sure if the two things are intertwined, but it seemed like everything bad happened there at once. And so, yeaah, it's time to go. Yeaah, so he had to go get a new place. It's a lot better now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But now he has an awesome place, and uhm, now that he's moved in, yeaah, we'll go.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What is this? What is this?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, is that what that is? There's a saw poster that's like that. I swear to God.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I don't know how good this is, but you see that, that book


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] On that end of the room in about 10 minutes, I set up my other recording thing. Most of my YouTube stuff is done back there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The ancient mystics have, as far back as we can go, uhm, had this idea.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That everything that's on the outside is a reflection of everything that's on the inside. You've probably heard the saying, as above so below. It comes from an old Egyptian carving on a tablet called the Emerald Tablet.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it's basically everything on the outside and everything on the inside are one and the same.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And that's, you know, modern quantum physics has begun to go to that place where scientists are saying that nothing happens on the outside until we observe it. You know, there's, there's this kind of mirror going on. Psychology kind of says the same thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That when we look up there and out there, we're actually looking down here and in here and that the two are in fact one in the same and the crazy thing from an astrologer's point of view


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Once you give me, we don't have to do this right yet, but we'll go there. You'll give me your birth date, place, and time. And yeaah, Brian, here's why time is important. And that with knowing, you see, every year on your birthday, one of you just tell me what day of the year you were born.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, so every year on May 31st,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The earth has gone all the way around the sun and within a day, because our calendar is a little fucked up and isn't quite accurate, but every day, every year on May 31st, the earth has gone around the sun one more time. And if you draw a straight line from the earth to the sun.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then keep going and going and going and going. You come up to that area of sky that we maybe arbitrarily call Taurus or Gemini actually by May 31st.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so what astrology does is by knowing what year you were born, we only know one thing and that is the relationship between the earth and the sun. Meanwhile, the moon is going around the earth some almost 13 times every year.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And Saturn takes nearly 30 years to go around the sun once.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] From the point of view when you were born, the first thing that we do is we calculate or these days push a button and let the computer calculate from Earth's point of view where it looked like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The sun, the moon, Mercury, Venus, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune, Pluto, and maybe a bunch of other crap that many astrologers use or don't use. And all of that gets put into a picture that shows their geometric relationship with all the other planets in the chart.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Now that's all fine and dandy and only knowing the birth date and year.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because every year on May 31st, the only thing that's back in the same place from Earth's point of view is the sun. That's why everyone knows their sign. You know, we know our sign because that's consistent year to year to year to year, but everything else changes. But here's the thing, Brian, and that is that the most important thing


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In astrology is the plane of reference. What's on the horizon? What's up above? What's down below? And that's determined by the time of day, which is why the time of day, which changes


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] All the way through the 360 degrees every day because the earth spins around every day. So every day we have a sunrise and a sunset.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Buckminster Fuller said, well, the sun never rises or sets. It's the earth spinning. We actually have the sun sight in the morning and a sun clips in the evening. But every day, every planet appears like it rises and every planet appears like it sets. And that's why we need the time of day.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, so, so listen, there I was, there I was at this bar in Bali and, and the guy, the person I was with knew the owner and told the owner I was an astrologer and the astrologer says, Oh, can you do my chart? I said, I have my computer with me. I said, sure.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I said, what, you know, what's your birthday? He told me, he goes, what time of day were you born? He goes, I, I don't know. Hang on a second. He pulls out his cell phone. This is from Ubud Bali and he calls his mother in Brooklyn.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's like four in the morning there or something. You know, mom, what time of day was I born from? So, and that guy's name was Brian. That was the punchline.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, well for me that's good enough, that's good enough to at least go on. Uhm, although where were you born? Where?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, so Indiana actually keeps records. If you were born in the past 50 or 60 years, which it looks like you were, uhm, then the county would have the record of a birth certificate with a time recorded on it. Not that we need that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, I'd have to look. I know Indiana does. Every state's different. Most states for five or ten dollars you can, you know, there's a place online where


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, I've been to India. I actually, I actually, I've been to every state in the country except for Alaska. I've driven in every state in the country except for Alaska. Uhm, and. Indiana at the top or? Yeah, what's the worst? Indiana from the top to the bottom.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, a difference of 2 or 3 or 5 minutes actually can...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Earth's horizon appears to move. I mean, did you ever watch a sunrise? You know, from the time that it's dark to the time it's light.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's like four, three or four degrees out of the 360 degree circle. So everything shifts a bit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it can, you know, it won't change things overwhelmingly, but it does make a difference between level of accuracy. I've over the years, I mean, I, I treat every birth time with a grain of salt. I don't believe it. And I look at it and kind of do a


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But the bottom line is that a competent astrologer can.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Look at someone's natal, which just means birth, uh, natal horoscope. The horoscope is the map.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And from that map, yeaah, there's a lot of information as you'll see in a few minutes that one can glean from that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But in most cases, two people are not born at the same place in the same time, even a mile or two apart or like I said before, three or four minutes can make a subtle difference.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Obviously context, you know, what biologists would call, um, uh, you know, uh, um, you know, the epigenetics, epigenetics is


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You take a sick plant and put it in a healthy environment, it gets healthy. You put a healthy plant in a, in a, in an environment where it's deprived of food and water, it gets sick.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so, yeah, there's a lot of things that are different, but there, there are anecdotes of people born, you know, very close in time and space.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, and uh, there's a story of, I don't even remember what King of England it was, but a King of England that was born at the same day, I don't even know if it was the same time of day, uhm, as someone else.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That looks on the surface like they had absolutely nothing in common except they were both married two times, uhm, on the same day. They had major illnesses at the same time in their life. Uhm, you know, and, and, you know, crazy things like that that you wouldn't almost even notice unless you were


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, astrologer is preferred by most people, although people say Facebook doesn't let you say you're an astrologer. It makes you be an astrologist, but it's like, are you, are you a biologist or biologist? It depends on, you know, I mean, the two words I think are kind of the same thing, but.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But we, we typically say astrologer.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, yeaah, and, and this look is, I'm, I'm, I'm actually, uhm, you know, a black woman. Uhm, this is just all cosmetic surgery. Just to help with the profession.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And speaking of smoking mirrors, I hate to smoke mirrors because you never can tell when they just kind of, you know, break apart and then get to the lungs.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, I mean, aside from the fact that if you tell someone that they have a sunny disposition, you know what they mean, or if someone's loony, or, or even if they're mercurial, or, you know, martial law comes from Mars, or, I mean, the, the language, our language has astrology in it completely.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The thing about astrology is that as in geometry, tension occurs at 90 degree angles.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So that, you know, if you're a carpenter, you know, 90 degrees is not stable. You have to triangulate it. You have to stress something. You have to build in a, you know, something to make it stable.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And in astrology, when two planets are 90 degrees, really, or 180 degrees, in other words, if they're square or opposite or square 90 degrees on the other side, these are the most dynamic points on a cycle.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so every planet goes through its own cycle.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The one we knows, know the most are either the cycle of the earth around the sun and the dynamic points.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The first day of summer, which is cancer. The first day of autumn, which is Libra and the first day of Capricorn.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, which is, which is uhm, uh, I'm sorry, the first day of winter, which is Capricorn. And those points are the points of spring, summer, autumn, and winter.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So the dynamic points on any cycle are the 90 degree points with the moon cycle. We know the new moon and the full moon. And before we had the calendars, like we do ancients, one of their primary units of measure.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Was because you take a cycle like a moon cycle, you divide it in half to get that 90, 90, 90 and 90 is 180 degrees. And so we know the new moon and full moon, a primary unit of measure up until maybe 150 years ago was a fortnight.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Which is two weeks, which is half of a moon cycle and a half of that cycle, the 90 degrees of that is a week.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So basically the entire cali- someone says, oh, do you believe in astrology? I go, well, yeah, and so do you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They go, Oh no, I don't. I go, so you don't use a calendar. How cool is that? How do you get by? Because the calendar is.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is about a 28, 29 year cycle. And Saturn is the planet of serious shit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Saturn is the planet that's associated with authority and responsibility and karma and hard work and Saturn is like your dad that's, you know, dragging you out on the carpet for something that you didn't do or the principal or the cop that stops you for speeding. Saturn is that kind of authority. It's the rule. It's the law.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When Saturn reaches its 90 degree point in anyone's chart in their life in general, that's often when substantial things change. And the idea of breaking a mirror and having seven years bad luck.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Or even going back to the Bible, the idea of Joseph's dream of seven years of feast and seven years of famine.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is based upon the quarter of a Saturn cycle, because typically if we do something in our life that's really bad shit, it takes really seven years for it to work fully out of our system. And so that idea of seven years, you know, breaking a mirror and having seven years bad luck, um, actually is astrological.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, even a day, you know, an hour, you know, the division by 12 is really, really convenient and it's convenient enough that


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That not only are there 12 signs in the zodiac, there are 12 months in the year, there were 12 tribes in, you know, in the children of the, whatever, the 12 tribes of, of, of Israel. There, Jesus had 12 disciples. There are 12 hours of daylight or 12 and 12, you know, of day and night.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And you know, and it's basically, you know, it's, it's all astro logical.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it's a crock of shit. It, it, it, it, it's actually a, a, a,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There, there is a piece of information behind it that's true, but like many things, see astrology has this really special place in our culture. It's the only thing that science and religion both agree is a wart on humanity and needs to be just cut out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because both science and religion for very different reasons, neither one of them can deal with astrology.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Science can't deal with astrology because the entire sense, uh, according to David Hume, one of the, the founder of what we call the experimental method,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, it's built upon repeatability. You know, science says you gotta be able to repeat the experiment, do it again, do it again. And if you can't do it again, it's not scientific, if it only happens once. And astrologically, nothing happens twice, because even though


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] On your birthday, the sun appears to be back in the same place. Everything else is different. And so science can't deal with the fact that if you do an experiment at three in the morning on March 3rd and then do the same experiment, you know, on September 9th, um, at four in the afternoon,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That time actually can have an important, uh, uh, impact on the experiment. That's another rabbit hole. We're not going to go down it right now. We can come back to it if you want. I mean, there's experimental validity to that. And then of course, um, there's nothing anywhere


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In either jewish or christian liturgy that says astrology doesn't work.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It just says, don't do it. And the reason why the Catholic, I mean, look, until the late 1400s, early 1500s,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Every pope was either an astrologer or had a staff of them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And in fact, the most important astrological techniques we moderners use are called


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Campanis, Porphyry, Regiomontanus, Marinus, they're all named after the monks who developed those techniques. And yet, for political reasons, uhm, the, basically the church says you can't go to the guy down on the edge of town, you gotta go to the priest. It was strictly a political thing and still is.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Why the church can't allow for someone to have direct communication with the divinity as above, so below, you need to go to the priest as an intermediary.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There is a, there is a constellation. You see the planets go around, the earth goes around the sun and pretty much all the planets go around on that same plane. Think of it as a cosmic frisbee.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know they go a little bit higher, a little bit lower, but pretty much everything is in the same plane. That plane is called the ecliptic.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sometimes referred to as the celestial highway.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] From Earth's point of view, we look at the sky and we take star groupings and we turn them into pictures. And there are 12 basic pictures along the ecliptic.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Those are the Aries, Taurus, Gemini, Cancer, Leo, Toa, and there are 12 of them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Now there is a 13th constellation, um, called Ophiuchus.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, which kind of comes down through the ecliptic, and this is the ignorant people's, uhm, uh, statement of saying, oh no, now we know there are 13 signs.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The problem is that there aren't really twelve signs in the zodiac up there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause we made them all up. There's 12 signs in here.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And astrology is a mathematical system that divides circles or cycles into 12. Saying there's a 13th sign.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is like saying, oh no, a square really has a fifth side. It can't by definition. Now there is a branch of astrology that says we don't care about the mathematics, everything is done based upon stars.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You see, one of the other things that modern science astronomers will say,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Astrologers don't know what they're talking about because the signs have shifted.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, astrologers know that, they knew that 2500 years ago, uhm, and that's based upon the backward wobble of Earth called the procession of the equinox, another rabbit hole that we're not going down.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's not based upon the stars, it's based upon the seasons.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The zero degrees of Aries, the first sign of the zodiac Aries,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is always set at the first moment of spring, which is a astronomically measurable moment. It's the vernal equinox, the, um, you know, equal day and night on the planet.


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[Assistant] And so to say there's a 13th sign basically, or to say that, that astrologers don't know what they're talking about because the signs aren't in the right places anymore, just tells me that the person who's saying that is ignorant of what modern astrology is.


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[Assistant] This is all bullshit because it just can't be. I mean, the great scientist Lavoisier who invented or who discovered oxygen, uhm, he was the first president of the French Academy of Sciences back in the late 1700s. He got his head chopped off in the French Revolution.


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[Assistant] One of his first acts when he became the president of the first, the first president of the French Academy of Scientists, because there was this whole controversy then about, about what we moderners would call meteorites.


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[Assistant] And Lavoisier said this statement on record, he's saying this is a stupid argument because


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[Assistant] Because there can't be stones that fall from the sky because there are no stones in the sky to fall.


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[Assistant] You know, it's like what's outside of our sense of perception, we just automatically judge as either stupid or ignorant or it's impossible.


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[Assistant] Anyhow. So that's my opening volley. How are we doing, guys?


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[Assistant] Network, because there were only, if you watch TV, there was only three networks. That was it. No one even had PBS at that time.


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[Assistant] And I wanted to be on network TV on a one hour debate, me, Carl Sagan on astrology because he didn't know what the fuck he was talking about either. He's, I mean, he was a smart guy and he was a cool guy and he did a lot of really, really good, good stuff.


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[Assistant] But, and he had the sense at one point in time, I think it was 1976.


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[Assistant] 186 scientists took out this full page ad in Science Magazine basically warning the public about the charlatans who practice astrology. Uhm, and it was just like a really big deal because that was like becoming a thing then even.


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[Assistant] And Carl Sagan, uhm, even though in Cosmos he kinda...


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[Assistant] So he got my respect there, but poor Carl Sagan, I mean, he was like a total pothead. He was like a total, you know, like he, he was into, he was into it and he wanted so badly, even in the movie contact.


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[Assistant] He wanted so badly to believe that there was other, you know, civilizations and aliens.


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[Assistant] But, but his scientifically trained mind was like a trap and I know people who knew him and said that that's what killed him. That's what, that's what his cancer was all about was he was so frustrated he couldn't, he couldn't let go and just be there. I don't know. Maybe, you know, not our subject for conversation but you brought up Carl Sagan.


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[Assistant] So this is, this is, this is a software program that, uhm, that I use, uhm, which is one of many programs, uhm, that an astrologer would, would use that might be too big, but, uhm, probably more like that is good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so all I'm going to do is I'm going to put, put in here new chart data and we're going to type in, I don't know how small this is, if you can see this at all.


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[Assistant] Oh, look at that. I got it. So what this program just did is this went into its incredibly large database.


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[Assistant] And it has every post office in the United States, it has every little town in Siberia and in Indonesia, and it basically converts the city and the state or country


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[Assistant] into the latitude and longitude and then corrects for the time. This knows that there was daylight time. So this is now Eastern daylight time because again, as I said earlier, the universe, the cosmos doesn't have time zone. So it needs to convert to like a universal time. So I'm clicking on, okay.


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[Assistant] And now I come up with what, what, this is the primary tool that we astrologers would use.


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[Assistant] It tells me a few things right off the bat.


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[Assistant] Um, number one, um, and I'm going to use my cursor here.


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[Assistant] That you can, that symbol, the colored things around the outer part of the wheel are the planets and a couple of things that are additional things that we astrologers use. But the yellow circle is the sun.


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[Assistant] Which from Earth's point of view when you were born was at 12 degrees of the sign of Leo in 36 minutes. A minute in astrology is like there's 60 minutes in a degree, like there's 60 minutes in an hour.


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[Assistant] So this is about 12 and a half degrees into the 30 degrees of the sign of Leo. And Leo, if you count from Aries as being the beginning of the zodiac,


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[Assistant] It's 30, 60, 90, 120, Aries, Taurus, Gemini, Cancer, and then Leo. So this is about 120 plus 12 and a half degrees. This is, this tells me that you, that when you were born, the sun was about 132 and a half degrees after


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[Assistant] The vernal equinox. I'm just giving you, I'm trying to make this real so that you know it's just not a lot of mumbo jumbo bullshit. It's based on real math.


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[Assistant] Is a, is, is the cyclicity is the cycles of all the planets. And when you were born,


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[Assistant] Even though you're a Leo, the sun was in Leo when you were born, your moon was in Gemini.


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[Assistant] And that your moon was in Gemini tells me something about not who you are. You are a Leo. You're a lion. The lions roar there. They're dramatic. They're on stage. They're lively. They're animated. You know, the, uh, you know, lions are the king of the, the king of the jungle.


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[Assistant] Uhm, but when you were born, the moon was in Gemini, and Gemini is a, is a very different, different sign. In fact, what Gemini is about, it's about, uhm, it's about data. It's about information.


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[Assistant] It's about sending and receiving information and in astrology, every planet has a connection with a sign. Every sign has a connection with a planet.


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[Assistant] The planet that's connected with Gemini is Mercury.


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[Assistant] And, and Mercury is actually connected with two different signs. And here's the thing that's important about your chart is that your moon was in Gemini.


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[Assistant] Is that without even knowing anything else about you, I know that


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[Assistant] You're, I want to say smarter than the average Leo, meaning that there's a part of you that's more interested in talking and listening and interacting and reading and writing and information in movement and in high frequency, you know, going back and forth, whatever the hell that means to you.


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[Assistant] I call it the information slut. It's like, I don't give a shit what you're saying or what the information is. I want to know about it so I can connect it to everything else I know. Geminis are noisy. They, they can, they're, they're like static electricity. If you think of the Geminis in reality.


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[Assistant] I mean, there's a sense of Gemini being able to be really clever.


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[Assistant] But the moon in Gemini, these lines in the middle are basically the mathematical connections based upon divisions of the circle.


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[Assistant] So that the red lines are divisions by


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[Assistant] Two, that's the opposition, the 180 degree that I talked about earlier, and the other red lines are the squares, those are 90 degrees. Your moon is 90 degrees to Mercury, Venus, and Mars, and they're in Virgo. Virgo is also an information sign, but Virgo is practical.