[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Let's look that up. In Canada, yeaah, everything has to be in English and French.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The internet's lagging. We'll never know. Yeah, because they're like, uh, you know, uh, a bilingual country. So everything has to be in English and French.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think baseball's really fallen off since the Mark McGuire days. Oh yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] To watch the Facebook, I'm watching the thing I want to be watching.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's a trend going on. Converting people. Well, I'm happy they're being converted.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, you don't want to get the audience used to being involved in the show. Yeah. If you're not going to be doing crowd work. Yeah. Like I hate crowd, like if somebody does a joke or two, that's fine, but I hate.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, I don't know. That's a tough call, but probably the crowd were.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] All right. Hey, this product is a product we've started using every day.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We started taking athletic greens because none of us eat very well. Right? I mean.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This special blend of ingredients supports your gut health, your nervous system, your immune system, your energy, recovery, focus and aging. That's a lot of things.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The taste is great and it's easy to make and drink quickly. One scoop of powder with water, shake and drink or stir, whatever you want to do. The travel packs are great for when any of us are on the road. You can easily pour into a bottle of water.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Contains less than one gram of sugar, no GMOs, no nasty chemicals or artificial anything. Supports better sleep quality and recovery and also mental clarity and alertness.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's cheaper than getting all the different supplements yourself and it costs less than $3 a day.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right now, it's time to reclaim your health and help your immune system with convenient daily nutrition, especially heading into the flu and cold season. It's just one scoop, one scoop and a cup of water every day. That is it. No need for a million different pills and supplements to look out for your health. To make it easy,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Athletic grains is going to give you a free one year supply of immune supporting vitamin D and


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, you know, I got, you know, I always have some digestive stuff going on. So I've been trying to get that worked out, but I feel good. I saw a holistic doctor recently and I feel good about what we've been doing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I'm trying to get that fixed and that's a real gut issue. Some people say I have leaky gut and, uh, and leaky gut is where you have like your, your, your gut lining has just developed like holes, I guess. So when you eat, it just drips right into your body. And then, so if you take a food allergy test,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Whatever you've been eating, it's going to say you're allergic to because that's in your bloodstream.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I gotta get that healed up, but I've been doing some stuff and it feels good. I'm only burping about a thousand times a day now as opposed to a million. So that's pretty good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You didn't go, so you had a stroke? I guess you had a stroke then, huh? Cause that's what I had. Yeah. But you didn't have a stroke.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What did they say? I mean not to just get into your personal health information.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Thinking he was still on post. It was active war, man. But it wasn't though.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's a tough one. That's a tough one. Second question. What about the Panda or the Abominable Snowman?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I believe abominable snowman more than Bigfoot.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Really? Because you know, if they can survive. Unequivocally.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So like this is so many they hate. So I think, you know, you just up in the snowy mountains, like, especially if you have the ability to sustain really cold temperatures, then you, you're not going to be able to, people aren't going to be able to discover you as easy as, you know, say Bigfoot in, you know, just the regular jungle. Sorry.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I mean, could be. I mean, that could be it too. But I just think that if, if, you know, and maybe Bigfoot's not real either, I don't know. But I'm just saying if, I don't know, I could believe it. Yeah, I could believe it too. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My nephew has a couple of goats and they love to get up on the rocks.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wow, it's being talked about. It seems like a real jam. It's got quite a buzz. I can hear a lot of classic rock as the soundtrack. Eric Clapton. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But, uh, I just, well, you know, this guy, he's saying that the, you know, this is God giving Moses a light and he's saying that that's


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I guess, I mean, UFO is unidentified flying object, so anything could be that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But, you know, if he's saying it's an alien, I gotta go ahead and disagree.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Except that I don't think that aliens are real, that it's probably, uh, some type of angelic form, so maybe.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, so I mean like if people read like the book of Enoch, that's, you know, it's not in the Bible, but some people say it's like, you know, written by Enoch who is in the Bible. He talks about, you know, basically,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Angels, but bad angels, angels who have defied God coming to earth and like corrupting mankind.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And if you were living on earth, that could seem like aliens.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Nah, I mean, I don't take the credit away from God to give it to aliens. You know what I mean? Yeah. I'm not into that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Especially after your own country has been so devastated already.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's so much that you are like, let these people out of here. Get them out of here.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think that's what some of them wanted. They were like, oh, you took us out of Egypt, brought us into the desert. At least we had food in Egypt. That's what a lot of them were saying.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But maybe even those Egyptians were like, listen, if we don't get these guys, then we're going to be the ones making the bricks. And so let's risk it because I don't want to be making bricks.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's wide, like from bass to bass.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My friend that does comedy in St. Louis says every new comic always goes, when they gonna finish that McDonald's?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well I gotta say, I like his style. I can't agree with a one times one, but I like his style.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, you got two twos, so it's four, but you got one one, that's one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you have one, uh, and you, you know, like if you have, I don't know, if you have two and you multiply that two times, that's...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Four, obviously, right? But if you have one and you multiply it one time, I don't know, I guess if you multiply one, one time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Then it would be too, wouldn't it? It can't, it has to be too. Or you wouldn't be multiplying.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I did a math thing one time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I kinda did do a math thing right one time, right? Where it's like, if you just add up some numbers, right? Like you add up 24 plus 24, that equals 48, right? But then you break down, like you add 2 plus 4, that's 6. 2 plus 4 is 6.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then that equals, and then you add the two sixes, that's 12, and then you add the one and the two and that's three. Right? So you just add all the double numbers. Let's see. So then you add 48, four plus eight is 12, and then you add those and it's three. So three equals three. Every time, no matter what you do, if you have, like, these numbers, I mean, it's-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right? So, so then you go seven plus three is ten. So that's, that's one. And then, uh, one plus two is three. Add those two, you get four. So let's see, 85.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is eight and five is 13 and then one plus three is four.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, it always. Every time they come, and now I guess it just is equal is equal, no matter what, right? But it just, no matter what numbers you do.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. So I think that would be three. I mean, one plus one plus one. I mean, when it gets to three digits, I don't know. One plus three equals. So it only works. Well, I don't know. Let's see. One plus one is three. One plus one plus one is three. Okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. So it's a four plus eight is 12. And then put one plus two is three.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, okay. I'm having, I don't know where you're at. Right. All right. So you got this, right? So 13 plus 98. Yeah. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] One, one, one. So that's three. Could be falling apart. This is four.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is 17. Then you gotta add those. So that, that's eight. So then you got eight plus four. That's 12. One plus two is three equals.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, I just was walking one time. I was in Grand Rapids, Michigan. I was just walking. I started doing, I just added up. I don't know. I just always do this weird numerology thing. I'm always trying to see what like numbers are.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And what, you know, so you'll add them together to see what it equals and I'll go, Oh, well that's weird. That adds up to the same thing. If you just keep adding them together and then.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I got back to the hotel, I just kept writing all these problems. I was like a madman in the room and I, it never came out unequal.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So 10 plus 10 is 20. 10 plus 10 is 20. So yeah, so then, you know, one plus zero is one, one plus zero is one, two plus zero is two. And then you add those two up to, I mean, yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, that's what I did too. I mean, I just, in my head, to do math, I break things down in a weird way. Yeah. But it works for me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well of course it's math, right? But it's just an anomaly that I don't think anybody really notices. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, I think to me it's like just equal is equal, right? With numbers. So whatever's on this side, if you add it all up, it's going to be equal to.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What it was equal to with, you know, adding it a different way.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, I never talked about it. Actually, I forgot about it until just now. Yeah. But, uh, but I was like, yeah, I mean, it's...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know, I think I tried to talk about it but it just doesn't make sense to talk


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. I mean, and there's a lot of, like a lot of, uh, YouTube people, I'll just call them that, that I would listen to, you know, their podcasts and what. A lot of them are not Christians, but they still believe in a higher power because they're like, it is too perfect.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, like my spaceship's broken. Can you help me rebuild this carburetor?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I mean that's always that weird kind of, like I don't know, it's like circular reasoning or whatever kind of thing where they're like, oh well this doesn't fit our, our thing we got going on now, so let's try to see how it fits. Rather than going, maybe the thing we're doing right now is wrong.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This doesn't fit, so how do we make it fit?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right, how do we make 25 million dollars off these bones?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right. They're like, we found a bird that basically disproves our idea that dinosaurs turned into birds, but we've already invested a lot into saying that dinosaurs turned into birds. So how are we going to manipulate this?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's what I'm saying. That's science. The scientific discovery of being like, whoa, this blows the whole thing off. You know, it's like, let's get into this. This is science. We're finding some stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But if you're like, if you question that, you're anti-science.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I'm like, wouldn't we want just all these amazing discoveries all the time and dig into new things and new theories and new ideas instead of being like, nope, this is it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I had a dentist that I was going to and they were putting some, uh, you know like some crowns on some teeth and so they ground some teeth down and put a temporary tooth on there and then one morning I was leaving to go to my appointment and I pulled them up on Google Maps and it said permanently closed.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I had a real freak out, but it was, they didn't, they had not closed. So something, and I told them when I got there, something that happened, somebody had hacked them and said they were permanently closed. Hmm. Was it the guy that, was it the guy that


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've, I mean for years I've walked with Google Maps and sometimes they'll say, you know, be careful.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Really? Yeah. I mean, I've had them say stuff like that. Like watch out. Yeah, like it's not a main.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Or find your own way to get there. If you don't like the way we've sent you, well, get a map. Draw it up yourself. We're just getting you there. We didn't tell you it was going to be safe.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I'm very thankful for this podcast. This podcast has been a big help doing that. Yeah, don't forget that. Yes, I mean it is. It is a big help.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Are you wasting time on subscriptions?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] 80% of people have subscriptions they forgot about. There's this app that takes care of all of that for you. It's called Rocket Money. You might have known it as True Bill. They change names. Get rid of useless subscriptions with Rocket Money now. Go to rocketmoney.com slash Nate. Seriously, could save you hundreds per year. That's rocketmoney.com.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And indeed, they know when you're growing your business, you have to make every dollar count. That's why when you sponsor a job, you only pay for quality applications from resumes in our database.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Matching your job description. Visit indeed.com slash Nate to start hiring now. Just go to indeed.com slash Nate. Indeed.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] com slash nate terms and conditions apply cost per application pricing not available for everyone need to hire


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The fine print. Something special. Yeah. I used to want to be Billy Mays.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Billy Mays had orange clean, oxy clean, uhm, I think all the clean family. Who has the spray?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, that's the guy that uh, that's sticky stuff. Yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He puts the tape, puts the tape over the pool. These are all Billy May's wannabes. Okay. They're all.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know derivative of the greatest of all time which is Billy Mays.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My favorite is, I always, anytime in a line or something, and then the line is longer, you're like, oh, thank you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The guy we got here when we did. I love saying that. Any chance I get to pull that one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Some companies have no questions asked lifelong exchange. Yeah, but those places.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] LL Bean famously for a while. Lifetime replacement on anything you bought.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. So you get a pair of boots. I mean, 40 years later, you send them in and they'll send you a new one. They break. They just got rid of that policy, but it, but it made them famous for awhile.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was just in Texas this weekend. I don't know how recent this comment is.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, it could have been me. I don't know who else does that. It's kind of my signature.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The, uh, when I worked at the kitchen of a country club, the, uh, the dishwasher was a guy on work release.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And he's the, I used to be like, sorry, this plate's gross. And he's like, bro, you can't gross me out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's like, when I go back, a guy uses the bathroom right there, right next to me. He's like, these dishes aren't going to grow. That's what that guy got to. He got to a place where.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I love that you're both semi-pro in your respective sports, but Nate, you're doing well enough to.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Build a home and Nate and dusty, you're living in a trailer park next door.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's cool. Funniest, clean comedians of all time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Let's check out the list. Ah, I spoiled it. Scrolled down too fast. Number one, Jim Gaffigan. Number two, Nate Bargetzi. Wow.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Best American Founding Fathers, George Washington, clear number one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] One of my favorite videos ever was this group called Improv Everywhere. It might have stopped me if I told this before.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They find, it's a group of like a hundred people, and they find a local band that's playing a show, like a nothing show, and they get all 100 people to learn all of this band's songs. And they surprise them at this show.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So it's just like this like teenager band.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And all of a sudden, there's a ton of people there and they're singing along to every song. They're going nuts. And the band's like, we can't believe, like, they brought nobody. And all of a sudden, a huge crowd. Best show ever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Does it mean or nice? It's done in a nice way. It's giving this band like the best experience ever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah too, give us some credit, we're not slurring our words here.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Let me ask you this. Are you wasting money on subscriptions? If you are, you're, you know, you have good company. 80% of people have subscriptions. They forgot about it. I've talked about it on here a bunch. I played fan, playing the fitness for years. I have several companies that I've been paying, giving them money. I need to cut it out. You know what I used to do that? Rocket money.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Used to be called True Bill. Now it's called Rocket Money. Maybe it's an unused Apple Musa subscription.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Or Hulu account that never gets streamed. Rocket Money keeps track of all my expenses and because of it, I don't waste a dime.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] On anything I never use. Rocket Money can even find subscriptions you didn't know you were paying for. You may even find out you've been double charged for a subscription. They go in and do it all for you. It really is worth your time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Get rid of useless subscriptions with Rocket Money now. Go to rocketmoney.com slash Nate. Seriously. It could save you hundreds per year. That's rocketmoney.com slash Nate. I struggle with subscriptions.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Now, oh, oh boy, it's our old pals. Indeed. If you're hiring for your business all on your own, you're basically like Brian trying to get rid of squirrels on his own. Nobody know, you know, no success and nobody cares. If you want, sorry.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And indeed, indeed, here's why. It is the hiring platform where you can attract, interview, and hire all in one place. Stop spending hours on multiple job sites looking for the right people with the right skills. Do it all with Indeed. Find top talent fast.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] With their, uh, unique proprietary tools like Indeed, Instant Match, Assessments, Virtual Interviews, Hate Waiting, 80% of employers find quality candidates the moment they sponsor a job. And like I've always said, you can do everything in one place. Interviews, collecting the resumes, etc. Listen.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Here's the point. Here's the rub. Indeed, not the rub. Indeed knows that when you're doing everything for your company, you can't afford to overspend on hiring. Visit indeed.com slash Nate.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] To start hiring now, just go to indeed.com slash Nate. Indeed.com slash Nate. Terms and conditions apply. Costs for application pricing not available for everyone. Need to hire.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's about all North Dakota has on South Dakota, right? South Dakota's got Mount Rushmore. South Dakota's got a lot more tourism money.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, they could have throw it up to the right of Abraham Lincoln. I think so. There's plenty of room.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, so uh, Teddy wasn't far out of things, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Same reason I can't tell you, uh, every state I've gone to the bathroom in this year.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like the ruins and ancient Rome and stuff. Those are libraries and yeah, that kind of stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We're not looking at the books, but we're looking at the buildings and stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There you go. Yeah. This one had a bit of a gut.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Let's drag this out. It's number one all time dude. It's on the Mount Rushmore movies.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know why it made me laugh. I was like, I was, I was so invested in what was happening that it pans out. There's just some dude.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Apparently it was a young bear too. It was like two kids going at it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do y'all know, are bison back in the, I mean, they used to be all over and then they were almost extinct.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And people see the West for the first time. They would just shoot these bison off the terrain for fun. All the time. I mean, purely for sport.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Let me ask you this. There's a plot line in the West wing where. Here we go.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Where the state senate of, of North Dakota is petitioning to have the word North removed from the state name. They want to be called just Dakota, South Dakota and Dakota. And they argue.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That the word north has such a negative connotation.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, well, there you go. I mean, how you doing that? I'm sitting here trashing it and they're the happiest people. They're happier than me. Yep. My gosh. Sorry.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You think if you worked for the North Dakota Tourism Department, you could turn some things around?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That is very tall. That's taller than the twin towers.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, Alaska is so, so far north though.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Thomas Jefferson symbolizes the growth of the nation. He bought them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] However, the government has money. Yeah. Maybe I just wrote him a check. Oh, you actually didn't.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know how they delivered that, that much money at that time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Were we still on the gold standard at that point? So we literally gave them


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. Yeah. I mean, so I'm wondering how they give that money to him. Like who does it go to? Hey, just give it to the king.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Would be the guy to know most on this. I mean, I'm a big Bob Barker fan. Is.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Bob Barker is. He's still alive. Good for him, dude. Is he? Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But it's, it's verified, it's confirmed, it's checked.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's not about just finding the people that are that way, it's about discovering that side of you. Come to New Dakota and celebrate the man inside you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, maybe stop worrying about getting the word North removed.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Here we go. It's against the law to lie down and fall asleep in a cheese factory.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, casinos in South Dakota are not allowed to post signs that say casino. Like road signs are not allowed to have casino.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's against the law to convince a pacifist to abandon his beliefs by threatening to arm wrestle him.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's legal to use fireworks to protect your sunflower crop. It is legal to use fireworks to protect your sunflower crop.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So you're trying to argue it should be legal to use fireworks to protect your sunflower.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is it one article of clothing with four leg holes or is it two separate pairs of pants?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well that was just on the West Wing. But I think it's based on sort of a real.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think if you showed up with a three-wheeler trying to act like you were part of it- There's a-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We're so worried about it. They wore gas masks. Yeah. And they still came to the show.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Zanies in Chicago, Old Town, Milwaukee on Sunday, and then Davenport, Iowa, the Renwick Mansion Monday night.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Haunted Mansion. Pretty exciting. And then Vegas next week and then Atlanta the week after that. Come see me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Mizzen and Maine dress up with ease. Any other dress shirt just won't feel as good. They combine the comfort and flexibility of your favorite athletic wear with the fit and style of a custom dress shirt. So if you want the best


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Dress shirts, money combined. Check out Mizzen and Maine. Right now, if you go to MizzenandMaine.com and use promo code Nate, you'll receive $35 off any regular price order of $125 or more.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I sat in the second show. I watched the whole thing. It was awesome to just sit in the crowd and watch. And I had a real out of character moment. The guy in front of me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Every joke you did, he would turn to his side and be like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like relating to all your jokes, but in an annoying way.


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[Assistant] And I had a really out of character moment. I leaned forward, I grabbed the dude on the shoulder, and I go, enough. Whoa. Wow. Maybe that's what you heard.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is this what we're getting to? It was you. I said enough, dude. And then I leaned back and I thought about the whole show.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But, but you know, thousands of other people were doing that without conversing about it right after the joke.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Regarding this weekend or? I think it's going to segue nice into these comments. Oh, perfect. They're about your special.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You think I'm the greatest comedian of all time? We all just riffed for an hour and a half?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. And people say I'm oozing with charm. I get that a lot too. Yeah, that's true.


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[Assistant] Oh no, I can't. Well, nectarines aren't the, those are like the half peaches.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In the nectarine vs peach debate, the difference is, so this is a raging debate going on right now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Nectarines are smooth and have a slightly firmer texture than peaches. So it's, it's like, it's a type of peach. I love a nectarine.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Eating fruit. Probably grafting. We start messing around in these laboratories. Who knows what's going to happen. Scientists.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Have you seen these, these square watermelons that people make? Cube watermelons?


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[Assistant] Are you okay with people manipulating the genetics of this fruit to make it easier to ship? I think that's what they're doing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's so funny. It's funny to see the tabs you have pulled up too. Was Robin Hood real? And then escape from Alcatraz the movie.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I saw people wear that, I didn't notice it was smelled that badly.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How big is the opry, that throat coat?


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[Assistant] I believe him. If you look at him, he looks like he's seen some stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Walton claimed that he awoke in a hospital-like room being observed by three short bald creatures. He claimed he fought with them until a human wearing a helmet led Walton to another room where he blacked out as three other humans put a clear plastic mask over his face.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't remember a whole lot of details. We fought with another human, a traitor to the human race. Wow.


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[Assistant] So still not, will not be, he doesn't recommend getting bit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cunningham's the guy who invented Wikipedia.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And he said the quickest way on the internet.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] To find the right answer to something is not to ask a question, it's to say the wrong answer. And people are more willing to correct you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wiki is a term for the software where users can contribute.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And who knows if that's true? We'll find out in the comments this week.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We are loving Mizzen and Maine Dress Shirts. With how much we travel, how nice is it to have a shirt, you don't have to fold up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You don't have to iron. You don't have to spray with chemicals. You just ball it up, throw it in your suitcase. It'll come out looking neat and you won't look messy on stage. And it's amazing not to have to go to the dry cleaner. Here's how the company started 10 years ago. The founder of business in Maine was in DC and he saw a guy


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Running through the town with sweat all over his shirt. Could have been me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Performance fabric that they're famous for. They make really comfortable men's clothing. You need to try to believe.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They've got over 30,000 five-star reviews, so it's not just me talking. It's 29,999 other people talking. So you know it's great. So.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you want the best dress shirts money can buy, check out Mizzen and Maine. Right now, if you go to MizzenandMaine.com and use promo code Nate, you'll receive $35 off any regular price order of $125 or more.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's what they say to you if they saw you drinking tea. Petrol? Yea, they go, do you know the petrol station? And sorry, sorry about the Queen. You know, that's what they'd say to you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So they're like, convenience stores and gas stations are like squares and rectangles.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Gas stations are also convenience stores, but not convenience stores are not.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's stuck with you this long. Stuck with me this long. Yeah, you've mentioned on the podcast before. Yeah. Yeah. That must've been great.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. He said I had to do it once in California while visiting my brother and almost died doing it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You do see every now and then just somebody like ripping a cigarette while they're pumping their gas. That's pretty dangerous probably.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm talking, you know, you go out there where it's like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] These small towns where the gas station is kind of like the cultural hub of the city. Yeah. And those people out there just ripping them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it's just running. Lock it up. You just trust it to stop.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's like a neutral dispatcher and then they, they get in touch with whoever you need.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If I just see a car, I see a car accident.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've been in a few accidents where you're supposed to call 911 and tell them. If you're on the side of the road.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Did you see that clip that went viral of them talking about one of the morning shows talking about the queen dying?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think they just don't want you talking, so you have to focus on those advertisements.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, all of them have a secret mute button, by the way. No way. Yeah. That the second from the top button on the right is a mute button. Wow.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've tried it before, it works. If you ever want that guy to stop talking, just push that button.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] To maximize efficiency, you're supposed to fill it up when it's halfway empty. Why is that?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because the car performs better when it has the most gas in it. So rather than let it get all the way down to E, when it's halfway through, when it's halfway down, then you fill it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's a great question. I don't think it's like oil and water. It's just like another layer of gas.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, Dusty called me after his first Bucky strip. You couldn't wrap your head around what you just saw.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, I like a gas station. I think it's kind of beautiful in a way. I think it's the last place. I think it's as close as we can get to a true representative cross-section of America. It's the last place where all different types of people are in there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Backgrounds, races, religions, whatever. It's, it's, it's America in these gas stations. Cause everybody has to stop there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Phoenix's weekend and we hiked to the Grand Canyon and about four miles into the Grand Canyon, a pack of omas showed up. Hiking in the full on uniform. No water bottles, just Skechers.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like slacks and, and I mean a jacket, the vest and the long sleeve shirt.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What commitment? Yeah. You know, and Skechers and well, they all wear Skechers. They did those like black, like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So accounting, you spend six seconds. So. Half hour. Well, the walk was.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] About 10 minutes in, the employees would be like, what's this guy doing? He's been here a while.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The mic. Oh yea, the bluetooth mic. The trucker headset. Oh, loves hack. Uh, they got that other register in the back. Yeah. Go use that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've seen so many times long line in the front and I go, there's another one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I probably spend 85% of my money at gas stations.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A lot of gas station hot dogs, I had to cut that out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How big a cup is that? 128 ounces.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's an original foundry from McDonald's in 1955.


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[Assistant] Their cups were seven ounces, which is like an espresso shot on this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I remember in Indiana, there was a limit on how many


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh yeah, all the time. Yeah. Yeah. So you just have to walk around and get back in line and just buy it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. So I don't remember the exact number, but it was a cutoff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it was after a certain number of cases you had, it had to be rung up separately to comply with Indiana state law.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was, we were drinking quite a bit back then. Or you drive 10 minutes and go to Michigan and it's an anarchy up there. Do whatever you want.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cherry's good too though. Cherry will mess up your whole day though, and your whole mouth is red.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You pressed it. Let's say you put the gas in and then you're like, well yeah, bring me out a diet coke and you know, some gum. And then it just tacking onto that gas bill and they just bring it out to you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What I'm saying is McDonald's should start selling gas.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah. Well sometimes I get, if I'm, if I'm like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I get impatient. Yes. Then I just stop it before, you know. And that's enough. Yeah. Yeah. Just to get where I'm going. Yes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're gonna have to do, they're gonna have to do what these movie theaters are doing.


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[Assistant] Which is they're gonna have to turn it into more of an experience. Yep.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, yeah, culturally a little different than what I'm...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. I don't know, man. I mean, it's, you know. I think it'll be like DVDs. Well, California. You'll know if they are, but you might not buy them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The core, oh my gosh, I haven't seen that movie forever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, I wouldn't be interested in it though. Yeaah. It's the guy they hired to hack. You like science fiction? Yeaah. Exactly.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He asked, well, that's one of his requests. I'm going to need unlimited money.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is that what he said? Well they go, can you hack the internet with unlimited resources? He said, I'm gonna need a lot.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well he was also, uh, doing a bunch of illegal stuff and they arrest him and this is like, I'll do this. I'll hack the internet for you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Those are straight up chevrons. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This weekend, tonight, I'm in Texas, I'm in Texas all weekend, Houston tonight at the Secret Group, then Bryan, Texas, and then all weekend in Dallas.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] At Hyenas Comedy Club, which I've never been to. I'm excited. And then next weekend, The Stress Factory in Bridgeport, Connecticut.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I don't know all four Nate land when you see them all. What was the, some of the language question?


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[Assistant] Yeaah. Yeaah. I mean, I'm all about a new slogan. It's so bright at night, you're gonna ask to turn the moon down.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're naming them, not me, you know. I mean, I don't support it. You're going. Are these the only things you're visiting?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Something crazy for half the United States. Not three, three and a half million.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] 15 million dollars for all that. Wow. Not even really all of Louisiana.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's the movie poster. It's not a real good endorsement. Yeah. Look at the scenery there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Athletic Greens makes it so easy to get the vitamins you need every day with just one scoop.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I had mine this morning. I have it every morning. It's a great way to start your day.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And Athletic Greens has now given you a free one year supply of immune supporting vitamin D and five free travel packs with your first purchase.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The year is, uh, halfway over. It's a good time to get going on this. Visit AthleticGreens.com slash Nate for a free one year supply of vitamin D and five free travel packs with your first purchase. That's AthleticGreens.com slash Nate.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is that what you meant? Not to, she didn't put it on the podcast, she put it on my personal page and I just copied it over.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Brain's not a fan, but let me tell you something. That's what a lot of people love the most.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] For one, they love to see if their ground is going to get red. And secondly, if they didn't have an outlet to correct all of our nonsense and all our mistakes, I think people would lose their mind.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's so great. I think I know now why you did it. I feel like there was more to it. Maybe he also put it on someone else's desk, but he only had one letter. So they made a copy so he could put it on two.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Brothers, uh, they, uh, in the sentencing, his defense argued he's insane and the defense they had was,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He would go to Taylor Swift concerts and he would think they were dating and that she


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Was talking directly to him and they have all these examples, all the stuff he wrote down, these letters to Taylor and stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then I look back on that episode where Aaron shows us a video of him down front and everyone else is singing and he's just staring at her.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The same episode where he said he helped her get her groceries in and I think maybe there's something going on here.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Every day. When we started, none of us was eating very well. Nate's eating well now, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Could be wild. Yep. Yep. The athletic green is the one thing I do that


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I start that every morning, have a scoop and get ready to go fight those squirrels. That's right. Gotta get a leg up. Yeah. By the time this comes out, who knows what's been going on, but.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, Athletic Green helps me because it gives you energy, recovery, focus.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It tastes great and it's easy to make and drink quickly. One scoop of powder with water, shake.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Shake it up and drink it. The travel packs are great for when any of us are on the road. You can easily pour it into a bottle of water.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right now it's time to reclaim your health and help your immune system with convenient daily nutrition, especially with cold and flu season. It's just one scoop and a cup of water every day. That's it. No need for a million different pills and supplements to look out for.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] For your health. To make it easy, Athletic Green is going to give you a free one year supply of immune supporting vitamin D.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And five free travel packs with your next person, with your first purchase. All you have to do is visit athleticgreens.com slash Nate. Again, that's athleticgreens.com slash Nate to take ownership over your health and pick up the ultimate daily nutritional insurance.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We do talk about aliens because, uh, this is part two really, cause we talked about aliens before, but last month Congress had their first congressional hearing on


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] UAPs, that's what they call them now. They don't call them UFOs. They call them UAPs. What is that? Unidentified aerial phenomenon. They think it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Gets rid of some of the stigma of flying saucers.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, you mean just in general? Because it's a negative connotation?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Maybe they'll keep it for, we're talking about outer space visitors, extraterrestrials, but uhm,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So they had this hearing, it's the first time over 50 years. I don't know how Congress works. I don't know who calls the hearing or how they get these people in the room.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But somebody, I guess, had enough clout to hold this hearing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And the Pentagon sent two people to speak from the Navy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, one of them I think I mentioned on a previous episode I'm actually Facebook friends with because I went to high school with his wife and they share a Facebook account.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, but they're basically like spokespeople and just did not say a lot. Here's what they said. They said there was like 116 unidentified, now there's up to 400 that they confirm are unidentified.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I try to. Yeah. Yeah. I'm trying to see what you bring to the box. Yeah. Uh, I mean, most of this isn't accurate when I'm saying, but if you act like you know it, then, um,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But, uhm, a couple of congressmen, you know, spoke up that were really fired up about it and tried to get to the bottom of some stuff. So this one guy from Wisconsin. Alright, you remember that New York Times article that came out a couple years ago that kind of first really got people going? There was this government, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And they talked about in there that there was a guy who had seen


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Off world vehicles or something like that. And I'm like, why did we never, we've never heard any more about that? Well, they asked about that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I guess that was from, I thought that just happened. That was from 2002. There was a memo that was circulated.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] From an admiral who's over the, in the defense department with some contractor, it's called the Admiral Wilson memo.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And in it, they talk about how there's the secret organization and that they've got, uh, these vehicles that crashed on, on earth.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And that they're examined, they're trying to reverse engineer them, try to figure out how they work. And this contractor.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, or astrophysicist, I think. I think he's frustrated because he's not getting the stuff that he needs. And this admiral is like, okay, I'm going to help you, uh, I'm going to help you get what you need. And these are the people I know. We'll talk to him. And this is, there's an email exchange and there's a memo.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Now this admiral denies that it's real. He says this is fake. The guy, the astrophysicist, uh, won't talk about it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He, he just won't chime in. Now he did say once that this organization that supposedly shut down is still in existence. They just call it by a different name, but he wouldn't say, uh, what it's called now. So anyway, this memo is from 2002, but, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] At the congressional hearing, they were asked about it and they just said, we don't know anything about it. These people just kept denying they knew, know anything about it. So I thought that was interesting.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, if you scroll down to like page 2 or 3, you see the actual, or 3 right there, you see...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's the actual kind of email exchanging him about helping him get the stuff that he needs.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, he's saying, uh, he's ex- that's just him, uh, apologizing for his delay. Because that's- this is when the Iraq war was going on, I think. Oh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But anyway, he talks about in this, in that memo right there about how


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, anyway, so that's the memo that if you go on through, he talks about, you know, putting him in touch with.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Name and location of alien reproduction vehicles in area 50, at area 51.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, so you know, the question is, is that real? Is that the guy you know, Will Miller? No. Oh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The guy that I'm Facebook friends with was one of the people who testified at the hearing, but he just wouldn't admit to anything.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, then the other thing the congressman brought up that was, this happened in 1967, but, uh, in Montana at a missile silo, the Air Force base, a red orb was seen floating around the sky and all their nuclear missiles became inoperable.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And uhm, so he brought that up because he's like, that's a, that's a threat to our country if there's something out there that can, you know, arm our weapons.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But again, they were like, uh, we've heard about that. We don't really know anything. They just kept denying.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That they knew anything, so nothing really came from this hearing. They say there's no, there's, they have no evidence out there that it's from other planets. They don't know what it is, these things that people are seeing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, there's a congressman from Tennessee, Tim Burchett, who said exactly what Nate just said after the hearing. He's like, this was a joke. It was a waste because they put people up there that just aren't going to say anything. You got to get the people who know something that actually experienced them. Put that guy on the stand who was in that memo and things like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And he said, uhm, that he's had multiple sources tell him that we do have like a crashed vehicle from outer space. He thinks they're either, it is either aliens or it's us that are testing what we found and trying to figure out how to use it. That's what made it crash.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Us making it crash? Well no, he thinks originally they just crashed themselves and then now either some of those other ones we're seeing, it's either aliens or it's us who, who trying to figure out how to do it. Use their equipment. That's right. Reverse engineering.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] One of us had to go talk to him. I'd probably volunteer you because if you hadn't been abducted, you at least probably know a guy who's been abducted.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Somebody's debunked it. There's none that anybody's saying is legit. Yeaah. And there's a lot of...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, uh, she had to go talk to him, but there is like a protocol read where if they came, they would send a linguist, a psychologist, biologist, and someone in combat.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] To attempt to get a non-violent response from aliens.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So you need someone that can talk to them on their level.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You never know. You never know. There was a, for a while, extraterrestrial exposure law saying that you can't touch anything. It gets a lot of touching thing extraterrestrial.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then everyone's like, well, that proves that y'all know that there's aliens cause NASA did this. But, but this was when we were doing trips to the moon and they were just like, if you bring anything back from the moon.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Don't touch it, because we don't know, it could contaminate the whole earth.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There was a woman who said that Neil Armstrong, when she worked at NASA, that, I think she lived in Tennessee, and she said he gave some moon dust to her daughter just for fun, just to take home with her, and then she found it in the attic.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Probably not true, so that's worth like so much money.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Now, y'all have heard of, uh, maybe heard of SETI?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, messaging. Oh. So SETI is listening. It's been around.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, but anyway, SETI is, uh, the Institute's been around since the eighties, but they've been listening long since then. There was one time- They've been listening longer?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, there was one time in 1977 at Ohio State University.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They had a radio telescope and they were listening and they picked up a very large, they call it the wow signal because the guy who saw the readout wrote wow on it because it was so powerful and it came from Dusty.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They never, uh, I think it lasted for 72 seconds, but they could never hear it again. It never repeated. And they tried, tried, tried, but so I don't know what it was. So they had 6E. What are this? I don't know what those equations, numbers mean. It's somehow glistening the radio signals.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I guess the ones he circled was bigger.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then you're, do you hear an actual sound or is it like you read the sound?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know, maybe just the readout prints out, you know, the sound or whatever. They could never get it to repeat itself.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then there's Medi, which is where we're sending messages out in outer space to try to let other people hear us. And of course a lot of people think that's a bad idea because we shouldn't let them know we exist because they could come and kill us. Well.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, one of the first signals they think probably reached outer space was Hitler.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, the opening ceremonies of the Olympics in Germany.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, Hitler I think was addressing the opening ceremonies of the Olympics in like the 1930s and they think


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just because back then, signals were getting strong enough that they were leaving our atmosphere. So they think maybe the first message that somebody could hear out there would be Hitler addressing the opening ceremonies of the Olympics.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Now a lot of religious scholars and theologians think that maybe aliens are demons. Theologian sounds insulting.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, because in the Bible there was lots of, uh, uh, demon possessions and people were paralyzed and different things happened and a lot of people.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Here, who say they've been abducted by aliens will say they were paralyzed, they couldn't move.


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[Assistant] And so some religious scholars think they're not really aliens, they're, they're demons. People. Demon possessed. Demon possessed people.


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[Assistant] Well, like a demon. People saw aliens. The aliens are demons.


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[Assistant] Yeaah, there was something called, a demon called an Incubus.


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[Assistant] Well, he wrote about Incubus, which is basically a demon.


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[Assistant] Uh, and I mean, there's a lot of references in the Bible that some people think are actually aliens or vice-verses. That's something that, angels were actually aliens that came to earth and told people how to live from another planet.


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[Assistant] That Abraham was visited by three angels, I mean three aliens instead of angels. Things of that matter. The Nephilim was in the Bible, a group of giants that


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[Assistant] The flood and all that because last week or a couple weeks ago we talked about spies and I talked about the spies in the Bible who went into the promised land. Well, there were Nephilim that lived there.


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[Assistant] Right. So, whatever they were, they existed. Grasshoppers are pretty big.


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[Assistant] That's what Stephen Hawking said. He said that aliens could come here and we'd be like ants. And I mean, we think we're all moral people, but.


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[Assistant] If there's an ant in the way of us building something, we're not going to think twice about.


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[Assistant] Knockin' them out of the way. So aliens could be doing that with us.


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[Assistant] They just stomp on us and then just be like, it doesn't matter. Well, just like you'd be like, why would they wipe us out? But they may be somewhat so advanced ahead of us that it'd be like what we would do to an animal or something.


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[Assistant] There's, uh, the head of astronomy at Harvard, so kind of an important dude.


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[Assistant] Thanks that there may be a UFO going through our solar system right now because there's an object that entered our solar system from interstellar space.


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[Assistant] And everyone says, oh, it's just a rock, an asteroid or whatever, but it's got some characteristics that seem weird. It's shiny for one.


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[Assistant] It's got, uh, it speeds up and slows down, which they're like, that's kind of weird for just a rock going through space. Uh, it's got some weird names named after the.


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[Assistant] I can't pronounce it, but anyway.


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[Assistant] So, uh, there's a thing called Project Lyra where they want to send, uh, a rocket to catch up with this thing to see what it really is.


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[Assistant] Because here's the argument how we talked about a couple weeks ago that we sent Voyager 1 with the...


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[Assistant] No, it's just going through our solar system, but that's, even our solar system is so big that, you know, that's a long time.


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[Assistant] There's this, uh, yeaah, exactly. There's, uh, this, you'll appreciate this, Nate.


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[Assistant] A PhD student who just published a paper that got people upset about how many hostile alien civilizations there are in our Milky Way.


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[Assistant] For what? For hostile alien civilizations.


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[Assistant] He looked on how many external invasions there have been on Earth in the last 50 years, how many countries have invaded other countries, and then he took that data and he applied it to the number of exoplanets in the Milky Way, they think, and he came up with four. There's four bad guys out there.


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[Assistant] And all these other scientists are like, there's probably a million, trillion, you know, whatever, but it came out of four, so. They're like, it hasn't been peer reviewed yet, but, uh, so.


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[Assistant] I admit there's billions of galaxies in our universe.


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[Assistant] Oh, I think you're thinking about the one where there's robots and stuff. District 9 or something? Yeaah.


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[Assistant] I was curious, I've seen it too. I haven't seen it. But I was curious someone your age, if you hadn't seen the original, maybe you have, but if you hadn't seen it.


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[Assistant] Uh, it's the scene right after they play football on the beach. Okay. So that's, that, if you see the football on the beach scene, you know, you can get up and go. Yeah. Next scene.


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[Assistant] I went during the scene where I'd have Ruth tell me what happened, what I missed, and I guess they go out on a boat.


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[Assistant] Is where all the old Spider-Mans come back and someone just to mess with people.


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[Assistant] Posted on social media on their own, I don't know.


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[Assistant] Yeah, that's probably it. I was gonna mention, uh, Skinwalker Ranch. I don't know if you guys have heard of that. Oh, I have heard of that. Freaked me out. I had to cut it off.


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[Assistant] It's a place in Utah that this family owned and all kinds of weird stuff started happening. Cattle mutilation, crop circles.


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[Assistant] Yeaah, I don't know, uh, is it called Hunt for the Skinwalker?


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[Assistant] But then a millionaire bought it just to try to figure out what was going on there. He's a alien enthusiast, Robert Bigelow.


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[Assistant] They couldn't get to it, but there was a track with two claws, giant claws in the snow.


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[Assistant] So they've seen all kinds of crazy things. Cattle's mutilated, but with no, no blood, let out, just, just killed. I think there's, that's a, have you ever heard of aliens kill, mutilating cattle?


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[Assistant] So they don't know, uh, I mean I've heard of aliens do that and why they do it. I think it came from Skinwalker Ranch.


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[Assistant] He's Joke Barn. Anyway, the Navajo Indian, I'm reading now off the screen, they call them skin walkers because they're known to have, Navajo talked about shape-shifting characters who lived throughout that. I think this has been going on for hundreds of years. Evil witches.


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[Assistant] I'll be tonight at Zany's, if you're listening to this, the day comes out, headlining Zany's and then this weekend with Aaron at Wiseguys in Salt Lake.


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[Assistant] Also shout out to our sponsor, Better Help, easy and affordable online therapy. Get 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com slash Nate. That's better H E L P dot com slash Nate for 10% off. All right.


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[Assistant] Yeah. Oh yeah. Was that with y'all? Was that what you were talking about on the drive in tour?


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[Assistant] No, no, I sat on the bus all day. I think I played 36 that day.


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[Assistant] I didn't mean to make it sound quite that sad. It's more about my regret and wishing I had taken advantage of that opportunity.


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[Assistant] You're saying he cranked it up just to spite you guys?


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[Assistant] They said they were one of the people that walked down from the stands and stood right in front of the stage with you.


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[Assistant] It's funny, Leanne didn't fight for you at all at that moment. She's like, yeah, you should shut up. We were both a little scared.


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[Assistant] Yeah, rather than run the air conditioner. Never works quite as good as the AC though.


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[Assistant] Yeah. I was in Columbus, Ohio Thursday and then Arlington, Virginia, Friday, Saturday.


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[Assistant] I have my buddy Chance Willie with me. I was going to get y'all's opinion on this. So we had to share a hotel room in Arlington and.


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[Assistant] Uh, I had never done this before, but we instituted a policy that if you have to use the bathroom, you do it in the lobby, downstairs.


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[Assistant] I didn't even mind sharing a hotel room with somebody. It was like livable the whole time. You know what I mean?


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[Assistant] I'm thinking of doing that just when I'm alone in a hotel, just having that policy, just to keep the room nice the whole time.


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[Assistant] I think with Caleb, it was like something we figured out throughout the weekend. This was the first time stepping in.


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[Assistant] I mean, we open the door, I go, chance, this is how it's going to work. Okay, see that bathroom? That's for brushing your teeth. And that's it. Oh, not even.


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[Assistant] I want to say he probably benefited from this policy more than I did.


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[Assistant] I had a window seat. I didn't want to make these people, you know, there's the whole thing. It's a whole bottle.


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[Assistant] But you're, but you're right. I can feel it. I can feel my stamina fading with that already. So I am trying to enjoy it while I can.


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[Assistant] I think it's maybe designed to look like the logo a little bit, yea.


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[Assistant] It's good to know that's why we keep them safe under the couch. Somebody broke in, you'd never think to look there. Now they would, but before.


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[Assistant] If I got $10,000, I divorce my wife, I leave town, get a new car.


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[Assistant] Yeah. Michael Irvin Jr. played college football.


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[Assistant] It's kind of a cool piece of history if you're into comic books. It's funny to just imagine Chris written.


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[Assistant] It is kind of fun and they do look kind of, I don't know.


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[Assistant] No, I believe him, but it's not like they're pristine looking. Yeah, magic.


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[Assistant] Just throwing that out there. This could have been one of the coins Judas used.


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[Assistant] Yeah. Yeah. The odds are extremely low, but it's not zero. It's not zero. Okay. There's a non-zero change.


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[Assistant] And I've stormed the field maybe, maybe three times when I was there.


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[Assistant] It's a big wins, man. Uh, and no, I was never talked about to take the goal post down. I don't know.


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[Assistant] It's crazy they used to play football with the goalposts on the field. You watch old footage, you're like, someone's gonna...


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[Assistant] I bet somebody twisted their ankle pretty bad on that goal post.


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[Assistant] It'll, it'll start to heat up pretty, I mean, he's almost at 50.


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[Assistant] Well that's, there's going to be a lot of pressure on him because it'll be the first like clean breaking the record.


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[Assistant] And Tatis is one of the biggest stars of the league. He just got caught with steroids like a couple days ago.


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[Assistant] They could. That's why it's a lot of pressure, you know. You hope he's clean.


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[Assistant] I'd say yea, if you just committed a murder, maybe don't go and sit courtside at a game.


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[Assistant] Wow. There's a documentary about that on Netflix. Really? Yep. It's a short one.


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[Assistant] And finally, a word from our sponsor, BetterHelp. We talk a lot about taking care of our bodies. We are in a culture obsessed with taking care of your bodies, but we need to be taking care of our minds as well.


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[Assistant] That's why we are proud to work with BetterHelp online therapy. I'm sure we all have people in our lives we can talk to about stuff, but some things you don't want to share with your friends and family. We're all talkers, we know the benefits of getting things out, how cathartic that can feel.


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[Assistant] You know, just talk through a little thing. It's very, it's very nice. It's much more affordable than in-person therapy and you could be matched with a therapist in under 48 hours. And here's the coolest part. Our listeners get 10% off their first month.


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[Assistant] At BetterHelp.com slash Nate. That's BetterH-E-L-P.com slash Nate. If you've been thinking about therapy, if you hear people talking about therapy, give it a try with BetterHelp.


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[Assistant] I'm impressed by anybody that can make anything. I don't know if I've ever made anything.


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[Assistant] Yes. Yeah, I've drawn a picture. You give it to your mom. She goes, Oh, that's great. Puts it on the fridge, but I've never made anything.


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[Assistant] I think you wait till a better picture comes from a more talented kid.


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[Assistant] My mom, I wish I should get a picture of a Christmas tree every year. My mom just decorates it with childhood artwork that the kids made throughout the year. I mean it looks.


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[Assistant] So stupid, the Christmas tree. It's just like construction paper things kids made.


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[Assistant] On the top is an angel that my sister made when she was in like first grade.


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[Assistant] Yeah, she gets the angel at the top. Yeah. I get put in the back in the corner. Little macaroni necklace.


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[Assistant] Did they just get the sunshine state? They got it first, huh?


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[Assistant] I went to Colorado for the first time in May and, uh, I had heard about elevation sickness when you get there, about how the altitude.


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[Assistant] We'll mess with you. Altitude sickness and elevation sickness. I don't know. I don't know if there's a difference, but it hit me.


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[Assistant] Not right away, but that night I was, I do not feel good. I had never felt that before.


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[Assistant] I think he might have been older than, than the other guy.


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[Assistant] Oh, Adolf Kors Sr. He's the guy who founded the Kors company. He was born in 1847. He died in 1929 before Hitler took over Germany.


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[Assistant] I bet it stinks if you live there. It's just like years of dealing with it. Bad traffic.


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[Assistant] Yeah, and from all over the world. That's interesting. Whereas the Olympics might've been your only opportunity to see a foreign athlete.


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[Assistant] Yeah, before that I was thinking of like a trash can lid.


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[Assistant] Well, it's a good place to do a dramatic illustration of, yeah, you know.


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[Assistant] Hi. Yeah. How, when did they, just wondering when they were able to find that out.


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[Assistant] I understand we have the technology to find it out now, but how did you know


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[Assistant] There were 102 meters above sea level, which means nothing to me.


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[Assistant] I'm almost 600 feet above sea level. I mean that's substantial, man.


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[Assistant] I mean, they're way higher than us, but if you jumped from here to sea level, you'd get hurt on the way down.


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[Assistant] Let's just imagine it's a helicopter that's hovering above water.


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[Assistant] And it's a calm day at sea, so you don't have to factor in the waves. It's just a tube.


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[Assistant] You know, I've read stories about guys that have skydiving in their parachute doesn't, if people have survived jumping out of a plane, they land in trees. I mean, they're pretty messed up.


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[Assistant] I looked her up. That's her right there, Julie. Julie Kapke.


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[Assistant] You know the altitude, she was struck by lightning and the plane just broke apart midair. So I'll be thinking about that next time I fly, huh?


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[Assistant] She, she survived this photo where she is relatively unscathed. I don't know why she's laying. I mean, let's just move on because I don't know the whole.


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[Assistant] So the whole band was on the, on the flight? Yea. I didn't know that. That feels like something you talked about a lot.


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[Assistant] Yes it's a little bit higher six thousand six hundred forty three feet a little more than a mile high.


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[Assistant] It's crazy to think about a whole city being up that high because it's such an anomaly here, how tall it is.


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[Assistant] You know they tell you if you fall in an elevator, we may have talked about this before, but you fall in an elevator.


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[Assistant] You do, you're supposed to do the opposite of a toothpick. If you're in an elevator that's in a free fall, you're supposed to spread out as much as you can to lessen the force. You want to maximize your surface area.


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[Assistant] But it is fun to think about. How would that not do anything? Because you're still gonna be moving down at the same speed. But if I go up? You're gonna go up, that's gonna...


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[Assistant] Lessen your downward speed a little bit, but you're still moving down at a rate that's good.


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[Assistant] Oh, her seatbelt was a little loose. That's why she survived. She was able to jump over. Saved her.


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[Assistant] Just next time you're gonna fall in an elevator, lay down on the ground.


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[Assistant] There's other people on there. Tough luck. You get down to the ground first.


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[Assistant] Yeah, that's what made me look all this up. I go, what can I really, what would I really do if this ever happens again?


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[Assistant] Do I trust the science and do that? Or do I trust my instincts and try to jump? I guess we'll only find out what had happened.


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[Assistant] No, I mean, there are so few elevator accidents that there's not a lot of data to kind of try this stuff out, but.


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[Assistant] Maybe, but it does make sense. What do you think about it? If you're, if you try to jump, you're, you're already moving at the same speed. It's not going to do much.


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[Assistant] He changed his, and I looked this up last night, he changed his name to John Denver cause it was his favorite city. Uh, when he was like 20.


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[Assistant] And he got a little money, bought a place out there, fell in love with it, and he just ended up living there, but. John, New Mexico is pretty tough. Yeah.


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[Assistant] It's a big time commitment, but he makes some great stuff. Baseball. I watch baseball a lot. Yeah.


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[Assistant] That's awesome, it is kind of bold. They've done a few updated, they've amended a little bit of it.


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[Assistant] I went to the Gerald Ford presidential library in Grand Rapids.


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[Assistant] You know, every president has their library and his is pretty tough.


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[Assistant] If I remember correctly, he's the only one that was never actually elected president.


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[Assistant] It was right next to, it's right next to Dr. Grins down there in downtown Grand Rapids.


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[Assistant] He was born in Grand Rapids and died in Grand Rapids.


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[Assistant] And they'll find you, cause if you try to drive away with them, you'll break it, you'll break that.


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[Assistant] Yeah, totally. There are areas like within the city too. If you, it'll just stop on you and we'll start beeping.


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[Assistant] Do I get to screen the roommate at all? Do I get to interview? No.


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[Assistant] It's not a crazy question. This is a hypothetical, you know, for this type of thing, but you're going to be there.


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[Assistant] That's the cell. See what it looks like. Got a little bit of a TV there. Kind of half of a twin bed.


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[Assistant] What are you gonna do then? I mean, listen, a lot of my rules are gonna go out the window.


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[Assistant] And you have to decide for the rest of your life, you have to decide, are you alone or do you share a prison cell with Bates?


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[Assistant] I really think you're underestimating the impact of just months and months and years of not just having conversations with people.


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[Assistant] Yeah. You'd have to go like, Hey, tomorrow, let's just not talk at all.


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[Assistant] Yeah. I think you'd want to talk to other people. I think we're social creatures. We want to have relationships with other people.


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[Assistant] Yeah, you could make deals and go, Hey, can I still go to work?


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[Assistant] You know, nine to five. People have done that. Yeah, and then I'll, after work I'll come back to prison.


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[Assistant] You're saying it's insane, but you believe that a company would do something like that?


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[Assistant] I remember Tim couch. I remember that kind of era, but not.


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[Assistant] Oh, Air Crouch? Air Crouch. Yea, yea, yea. I mean Nebraska was unreal.


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[Assistant] The black shirts, isn't that what they used to call Nebraska defense? Cause they were that good.


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[Assistant] When he touched the ball, it was electric. It was a lot like, uh, golden tape was kind of the same way.


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[Assistant] When he was there, when he touched the ball, it was kinda everybody knew something special was gonna happen.


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[Assistant] I'm doing the Opry this weekend, but next weekend I'm in Tulsa, Oklahoma with the Looney Bin, headlining the Looney Bin. Tulsa, come on out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Managing money can be hard and juggling subscriptions even harder.


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[Assistant] Never pay for an unwanted subscription again with Truebill. Go to Truebill.com slash Nate. Could save you thousands of dollars a year.


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[Assistant] Yeaah. He does Stanley from The Office.


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[Assistant] And you said, that's right, we don't want to make you smart, we make you happy.


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[Assistant] People pointed out when you read the last one how you just nailed it and you just did it again. When you read this.


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[Assistant] No, she, she has to be home. She doesn't drive at night. So, so in the wintertime she can't go to night church cause it gets too dark outside. Oh, but this time of year she's killing it cause the days are so late. It feels like there should be some kind of.


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[Assistant] In that movie, uh, is it Foxtrot? Uh, what's it? Foxcatcher. Foxcatcher. He has to lose.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Huh? Yea. The Cardinals bar? Yea, everybody's like that. Willie McGee was my favorite player because he played for the Nashville Sounds.


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[Assistant] Truebill is the new app that helps you identify and stop paying for subscriptions you do not need, want, or simply forgot about.


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[Assistant] Aaron helped me sign up for, uh, was it Adobe?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I pay for it still every month. I've never used it. True bill is the way to go to help you with things like that.


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[Assistant] Yeaah, stops it. People save up to $720 a year with True Bill.


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[Assistant] Uh, because companies make subscriptions hard to cancel, Truebill makes it incredibly simple. Just link your accounts and Truebill will cancel your unwanted subscriptions in one tap.


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[Assistant] We had, uh, on here a few months ago, big debate about what goes in the refrigerator and what can leave out in the spawner's condiments. Catch up.


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[Assistant] You're not gonna make it, that butter's gonna make it longer than you are. Now I don't know if the difference between salted, salt, this is salted butter has less of a chance of spoiling on the counter than unsalted butter. That makes sense.


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[Assistant] Oh really? Kramer's, the girl Jerry was dating and then Kramer fell in love with her. He's like best male Pantene.


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[Assistant] So I don't understand Procter & Gamble. They own all these companies. Why do they need Procter & Gamble?


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[Assistant] Well, uh, Nate said that you can leave ketchup out. You don't have to put it in the refrigerator.


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[Assistant] He, uh, he's right, uh, look it up. You can leave it out for up to a month. You can leave, uh, mustard out for up to two months. Really? Uh, we leave ketchup out way longer than a month. Yeah. We leave it out the whole time.


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[Assistant] Man, yeaah. Gotta break out these props. Oh, look at that. My wife ordered this for me. So do you guys know the best way to pour ketchup? I do.


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[Assistant] There was a TikTok video, a couple TikTok videos showing the proper way to dip fries in ketchup packets. Do you know this? No.


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[Assistant] It looks like it may not be loading, so. Is it up?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They were invented in 1988. The reason they haven't taken off is because you have to freeze them so cold. They have to be 40 degrees below zero and grocery stores just don't have dry ice. You have to have dry ice for it. Well, you gotta be 40 degrees below zero, whatever that takes.


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[Assistant] Ethos Technologies Incorporated operates in California as Ethos Life Insurance Services. Not available in all states and prices subject to underwriting and certain health questions.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Where'd you get that hat? This is, uh, it's not easy being dusty. I've learned that. The hat is, uh, Terry, I can't even talk with this thing. Hang on.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The head is my second cousin, Terry Ash. He was the sheriff in Wilson County for about 20 years. Wow.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Good hat. From the mid 80s to the mid 2000s. So the hat was the easiest part. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, this beard riding up on my mouth here is the hard part. The hair, uh, I had a brown wig, but it was like a clam rock too long. I wish I'd have kept it, so my wife convinced me to


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, a little mismatch here. Kind of works well. So I took it back. My wife convinced me to take it back and get a shorter, shorter. How much money did that save you taking it back?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It saved me 250. Okay. This looks good on you. And, uh, I mean, I'm into this look. The glasses were the hard part. I texted dusty and I said, Hey, where do you get your glasses? He said at a thrift store. So.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then I went to another thrift store, could not find the glasses, had to order these online. It's the best I could do.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh really? Wow. That's about right. That's about right. A hundred dollars for the whole.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, I tried facial hair during the pandemic and we saw how that went.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I missed it, I think. I wish I could have seen it. Well, there's, there's some videos out there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, this year, my, my daughter, we're going trick or treating, you know, and, and so I'm like, I gotta be somebody. And I looked at who's the popular Halloween costumes this year and they're all terrible. So I'm like, I want to be dusty.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But, it, uh, it's Wayne that has the black hair, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Perfect Garth. Perfect Garth? Alright. Perfect Garth. Well, I may have to chat. I wanted to be dusty for Halloween, but I may have to...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's a good chance of that. That almost happened to me this weekend. I did my dry bar set and...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, you just kinda walk out through a curtain and getting back off and finding that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cartoon where you go back through the cracks a little, a little more challenging.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, let me tell you what happened. So, I did Dry Bar this weekend, two tapings, and it went really well, but uhm, these audiences are trained


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, at the end to give you a standing ovation. Happens pretty much every time. And it's like, you did that, was it company.tv? Where they know to stand at the end.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's three comics on this lineup. Really feels special when you know they're supposed to do it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, well then, they, for this they stamped it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm first, there's three comp- there's an MC that goes out and tells everybody, you know, the routine stuff, go to the bathroom now, blah blah blah. Then I go out, I'm first, have a good set, get done, nobody stands.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I get off. Second comic goes out, has a good set, nobody stands.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Third comic, super high energy, does sound effects, has a flashlight, I mean super high energy, people don't stan. None of us, they stan.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I asked the producer about it and she's like, well, the MC forgot to tell the audience that for TV purposes, you guys would stand at the end or whatever, you know. So she's like, we'll get it down for show too. I'm like, okay. And I listened to him and he does tell the audience, hey guys, it looks good on camera, if you stand or whatever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Show 2 starts. I go out there. Have a great set.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Nobody stands. And this time I linger for just like a little bit longer, you know, like anybody want it? No, no. And then I, you know, then I get off. Second guy goes up and I guess he does. I didn't see this. He told me he basically kind of.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He encourages the crowd with his hand to get up thinking they can edit that out. You know, he'll kind of encourage, he basically just like, and then everyone stands.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Third guy goes out, just tells the audience before his last joke. Hey guys, this is my last joke.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Basically, I mean, it's kind of funny. He's basically telling him, I need to stay in the elevation or whatever. So he gets...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So now I'm the only one that didn't get the standing ovation. Now the MC goes out and is basically telling everyone good night. But one of the, the second comic kind of felt bad for me. So he kind of runs out right when the guy's wrapping up and says, Hey, Brian didn't get a standing ovation. Could we, could we get one now?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I go up there on stage. The guy's like, what? Okay. And then I go up there on stage. Now the audience just thinks, poor Brian didn't get a standing ovation. They don't realize it's for the cameras. So I just walk out there and they just all immediately stand up and start cheering and clapping. I don't even have a mic in my hand. The curtain is drawn behind me. I'm just standing there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The, there's nothing continuity wise. For my set, the stool was over here with a glass of water that had never been drinking out of it. Feels like a make-a-wish at this point. Now the mic, the stool's over here and the glass is empty. The mic stands different. I have to move all this myself and just try to guess where I had it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then you know how on a real standing ovation, it's a gradual stand up. For me, it's just everybody just doing the same time and cheer. So who knows if that'll even make it on the air, but I hope, I hope so. I hope just.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, and I'm out there with no mic, so I can't even say, guys, guys, this, not yet, not yet. I'm just, I can't do anything. So I just have to stand there till they get done. As you move stuff. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Women already had purses on their arms. I mean, people are ready to go. You know, and they're like, what? What is this?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's like they didn't get it. People came up to me after the show, a lot of folks there, very nice, and they said, that's the most breakfast thing we could have ever experienced. They loved it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But they kept saying we were, they missed it or something. We were afraid to stand because it would, we were afraid we'd block the cameras or something. Or at least that's what they told me. Maybe they just didn't want to.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, it really takes one person to do it to get everybody to do it. But yeah, nobody, I was like looking at guys like you, you, will you stand? No.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Everyone just thought they felt sorry for me, like, come on guys, let's give Brian a standing ovation.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It just like, they felt like, Oh, I hope that makes it special.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wow. What was his name that did the flashlight? It wasn't Muttsy. Okay. We've talked about him before. There's a guy named Darren Carter.