[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Virgo doesn't want to know information unless it's useful.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Gemini wants to know information doesn't give a shit whether it's useful. It doesn't even care whether it's true. It just likes data.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so your internal dilemma is the noise versus the how do I sift out of that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What's real, what's true, what's useful, uhm, what's exacting because all these planets in Virgo


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Tell me that there's a part of you, even though you put on this show of being, you know, kind of like here I am and your mind is racing around in a lot of different directions being clever, there's a part of you that has a different agenda and that's to sift through the noise and to get to the place that


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is accurate, that is true, that has, that has value, uhm.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, and basically that limits in some way


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, this is, these, these, these purple planets are the slow moving outer planets and they're more generational. Everyone born in 1990, 91, 92.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And this tells me that there is a part of you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That is the ongoing radical blow it all up out of the box. I want to know what's true so I can in some way justify.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know how different or weird or eclectic I am. And yet at the same time there's a part of you with that Neptune so close.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That tells me that whether you use the word spiritual or creative or imaginary or fantasy oriented, that that's a part of who you are too because that Neptune is part of that, that piece. And so in some ways,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Even the eclectic, radical, you know, kind of breakthrough, any constraints, don't pay attention to authority, part of you and the part of you that is about fantasy and dreams and, and, and, and illusion and, and the magic of imagination, all of that still has to get sifted through. Yeah, but how does it work? Does it work in the real world or, or, or not?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Another piece here is uhm, I think also that I would look at your chart and I would also see in some ways this dilemma with that part of you


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That wants to bust authority.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And the part of you that wants to still be perceived as likeable and clever, uhm, and, uh, uh, and, and anyhow, so that's basically a few of the things that I see when I, you know, when I first looked at the chart.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Actually, actually, two things. One is absolutely yes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is that whatever we are on some very deep level, we assume that's the way everyone is. No, there, we all know, we know people who even from our childhood, you know,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When it, when an adult or a teacher or a principal said something, they didn't question. They just said, yup. And they did it. And there are people who go through life needing authority and then projecting that based upon not what they know, but what they've been told. And yeah, and that's certainly not you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Really firmly believes that it can continually do that end run around authority without having to acquiesce to it. And yet there's a part of you that still loves taking the time that it takes to bust authority, you know, to, you know, uh, to nuke it, to blow it up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That, um, that still in some way has to be practical. You have to be able to use it and whether you call it spiritual or not, it's a part of you that knows that there's more there than meets the eye. And that part of you, I think sometimes makes you a little crazy because it doesn't fit well with the part of you that just wants to live your life.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, and another thing about looking at your chart, I mean, and, and, and sometimes saying these things after someone, sometimes I say, I teach my students


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That sometimes a good astrologer doesn't see something in the chart.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It sees something in the chart after they've been told what it is, but they can see where it comes from. And uhm, and I would suggest


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Um, have to do with a different area of our life. Um, and this area here, which is these sectors are called houses. Um, if you've ever heard that word in astrology, you know, seventh house or whatever, this house has to do with children. And in that area of your chart, there's, um, for me, in some ways, this is part of the,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How do I want to say this? It's, it's like one of the reasons you're here, one of the lessons, one of the things that you're growing and learning through is this whole area of self expression, which is not only expressing yourself creatively,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Pro creatively, meaning it's the kids we have and the two most important planets there are the planet Uranus, which is the planet of, of blow it up of radical rebellion, um, genius and Neptune, the planet of magic, his, um, imagination.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, and, and spirituality, if you will. And in a way...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Your kids in your life represent in some way an opening of those things.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That, that, that it may have been a real surprise because Uranus is always surprising as to how deep in...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, and powerful, it would change you as, as a person. Um, so, you know, these are just all, all food for thought, but.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Where the magic of astrology begins to come in is when we look at the timing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And we look at a planet like Saturn here, here's where it was when you were born. But if we unfold Saturn in time,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Saturn takes, uhm, about 29 years to go all the way around the zodiac once from Earth's point of view.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, Saturn was back where it was when you were born and what I'm gonna do here is I'm going to change our view of your chart.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it's still, this is the same chart, there's no lines in the middle. There's that Saturn, there's the, uh, Leo Sun, there's the, uh, Gemini Moon at the top of your chart, which is kind of what we do in our career, it's who we are in the outer world. Uhm, but.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Notice here that Saturn has gone all the way around once and now it's moved past where it was. So what I want to do is I want to animate this chart.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And move it backward a month at a time. Now we're just watching that Saturn. We're just watching this. All the other stuff temporarily is noise.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And we're seeing that Saturn right around there. Saturn.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And all the planets from earth's point of view go forward, backward, forward, backward. They don't really, it's cause the earth is going around separately. And so astronomers call that retrograde motion. It's just an optical illusion, but you can see here.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That in April of 2020, Saturn moved from the sign of Capricorn. There we are right there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is, this is Saturn in your chart and this is, um, Saturn in the, in the real world on in March of 2020. In April, Saturn moved into Aquarius.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then it almost, almost, almost, almost, but didn't quite reach the same degree, two degrees of Aquarius where your Saturn is. And then it turned retrograde.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it backed back, it backed up into Capricorn again, and then, whoops, I went too far too fast. And then it lined up with Saturn in your chart in January of 2021. So what this tells me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is that that period of time from when it almost reached it all the way up through, you know, the beginning of 2021 for you in some ways was a real period of having to grow up, take responsibility and, and eliminate some things in your life to make choices that led to other things.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And 55 minutes, that's basically almost three degrees of Aquarius.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When you were born, Saturn was at 2 degrees 48 minutes. That's almost 3 degrees. They were in the same degree.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Out of 360 degrees, Saturn had come all the way around and that was lined up on the day of the birth of your child. This is not uncommon, incidentally.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Let's, let's imagine that's the case. No, that is the case. Yeah. And, and let's go there. And there are things that show


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, there's certainly things that show. One of the things that shows, incidentally, is a much faster moving planet, Venus, was lined up with Jupiter in your chart on the day. Now, Venus moves quickly enough that it'll only stay there, you know, for a day or two and then it'll be gone. And Venus was within


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A quarter of a degree on that day. I guess this is 2148 minutes, almost 22 degrees. And Venus Jupiter is like, it's magnificent. This is, this is, this is bigger, better, more beautiful pleasure. I mean, it certainly is love.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But it's different than the Saturn connection, which has to do with a, with a,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] deeper level connection that's less about love.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And more about genetic continuity, and it's not just a boy-girl thing, but it's interesting that she has a boy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Also, also, uhm, the sun in the sky when she was born, she's a cancer, uhm, and, and, and, and he's an, he's a, he's an aquarium. Is that right? Yeah. Uh, no, he's a Capricorn. What, what day did he say he was born?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] 11th. 11th. So yea, so she's a Capricorn. So theoretically, the, the,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The cancer would be more in drawn, more intuitive, more...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Um, um, emotional, but more, but maybe even quieter, although I'm not looking at the chart, you know, you know, in its, in its entirety. Um, then the Capricorn that's more about external mastery rather than, you know, than creating, um, you know, safe space for internal stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Regardless, what I want to do also just before we leave this and harass either Poob or Brian is I want to take a look at Saturn in the Sky and I want to run it


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Forward, not a day at a time, I want to go back to a month at a time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then I want to go back and what I'm looking for is when was Saturn in the sky exactly opposite the sun?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In your chart, you see what I'm doing here is just geometry. And so I back this up and that would have been right around.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, December, January, oh, right in that same period of time, no, 2022. So your daughter's now, uh, one year old, is what we're looking at here.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, and yet around her first birthday,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's something in your life that has in a way reached fruition that is, um, that requires you to make decisions about whether you're going to keep doing something or, or, or not do it. And I would imagine that in some way we could take this back and run this back.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] 15 years really quickly to, there we go. Uh, we're looking roughly.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, roughly the summer of 2006, so you're 14 years old, right? And so right around that period of time,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I would imagine with Saturn in the sky lined up with your son that there may have been something that occurred that


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That was a shift in external reality that caused you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, food for thought, but now, but now I want to take this back even, even further and let's go back to a year at a time. This will take forever at a month at a time. Let's just go back here real quickly because even younger, shit, I'm sorry.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, okay, there we go. So, uhm, around, uhm, age 10.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Reaches the top of your chart and lines up with your moon. And again, I think this is.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] One of the great psychologists of the 20th century, a guy named James Hillman, who is kind of considered to be the torchbearer of what was Carl Jung, Jungian psychology before that. He used to say, I don't believe in astrology.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But then again, I don't believe in a hammer either. If it's the right tool, I'll use it. Hmm.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Astrology doesn't require belief any more than chemistry does. You either know about it or you don't.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's just, it's just a dataset. It's just information. That's all it is. And what you do with it or don't do with it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It has nothing to do with whether or not it may be useful.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There are, you know, what's that saying? A hammer sees a world full of nails. So as an astrologer, I see things through this lens, but it doesn't mean you need to see things through this lens for them to happen in however it is they unfold in tune with the as above, so below the inside and the outside are the same. That's it. Bravo, by the way. That was awesome.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But, uhm, astrology is my single source of, you know, of income, and I see clients, although I have, I have a waiting list that will take me longer than the amount of years I have left to get through it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Here's something to think about. Right now, if you sent me an email and said you wanted a consultation.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, they're, right now they go for 250 bucks.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it would probably take about four years for me to get to your chart because I have about 1200 people on an active waiting list. So that's what you just got for fur.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, free. Because I don't mind doing that at all. But the other thing though is that I make, so I do some client work, but I make most of my living


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, through Patreon and doing YouTube videos, not the ones that you've seen for free, but I have a whole line of, uh, of, of private, what they call unlisted, uh, YouTube videos.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, and on top of that, I offer some courses online through astrology hub, and I've taught thousands of students. And so that's also a source of income. And I travel and teach. I mean, in the year before COVID, I taught in.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, and this year, I mean, I, I taught already this year in Portugal out on the Azores Islands. Azores, what island?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And the conference was a Friday, Saturday, Sunday, and then I stayed an extra week just


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] To explore and chill and be there. And so that's often what I do. In December, actually, I'm leaving next week. I'm leaving for the East Coast to lecture at the Omega Institute, North of New York, and I'll be up in the Northeast for a whole month.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Visiting friends and relatives and whatever and then in December


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, I'm, I'm leading a 10 day retreat workshop.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In Goa, India, where I've taught before, a very magical place in India.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I'm staying there. I'm going on December 1st. I'm coming home on January 15th. I'm only working there 10 days, but while I'm there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so it's not lying. It's just listening to a different station.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So here's, here's an intriguing thing. And, and you know, you guys can tell I'm doing this on the fly. I've never met any of you. I don't know anything about you guys. Um, but the first thing I notice is that Sam is a Leo with a Gemini moon. Poob is a Gemini with a Leo moon.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Carl Jung, who is known as one of the greatest psychologists who ever lived, actually was an astrologer and contributed a whole lot to the body of astrology. Never played that really loudly in his life, you know, just because of the, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Negativity toward astrology. He wrote about it some, he wrote about it actually a lot.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, but one of the things that, that Jung noted throughout his years of practice was that the most successful relationships, and he was here talking about marriage, but that's just because those are the relationships that he would have his clients. He noted that when one person's son.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Was in the same sign as another person's moon there was just kind of some natural connection recognition because in a way the sun is is the light that we shine into we are in the moon is the light that we reflect.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so in a way, what this would suggest to me that in some way, the Leo, I'm the center of attention, Leo son that Sam is, that Poob reflects that. On the other hand,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Poob is the, is, is, is the, um, Gemini sun, but if you look at this Gemini sun, it has the planet Mars right next to it. So I would say that you're a Gemini sun on steroids and we're going to get back to that in just a moment.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, what I mean is that Mars is the feisty, fiery, uhm, marshal, energetic, assertive, aggressive, directive planet.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, and interestingly enough though, when you were born, Mercury, the planet of communication, that's Gemini's key planet, is hanging back at the very, very last degree of Taurus. If you were born


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you were born a day later, Poob, you would have been born with Mercury in Gemini, which would have made you a whole lot more talkative than you are. And the Mercury in Taurus is a part of you that that


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Now, here's the other thing. You see this big red line that connects the Mars and the Sun?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Down here to Pluto. Alright, so Pluto is the planet of, uh, well if you look at it in, if you look at it online, it would say Pluto is the planet of death and transformation and, and, and power.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I would much rather have Poob be a friend than an enemy because there's a part of Poob, I believe,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, well, two things. Number one, if Sam thinks he can lie well, you can out-lie him. You can dance circles around him. I don't lie that well. Yeaah. Yeaah. No, no. He's pretty mad at me. But the other thing about your...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He loves authority, doesn't he? No, I'm not saying he loves authority, but I don't think his issue is that hateful. He needs it. Well, there's, no, there's something, in some ways, Poob gets to be


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The radical without necessarily uhm, taking down authority. There's something about how he works.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That, that he can be the most radical, the most rebellious.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I don't want to say he doesn't ever get into trouble for it, but somehow he can, he, he, whether it's lying or outright or deceiving or being clever, he can dance his way around that edge and he, in some way,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The planet Venus, which is the planet of love and, and, and nice things and pleasure and, and, and Venus is at home in its own sign in Taurus, which is nice.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] However, Venus was also very close to Saturn and so there's, it's almost like your entire life is about breaking away from the heavy restraints that you probably got from either family or religion or whatever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Um, love as lightly as it might look like and therefore there's something about you that, um, that there's a bit of illusion wrapped up in the idea of romanticism and yet


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It can be delayed because it's like as much as you are the master of being clever in the moment, there's also a part of you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That is, whether it's fearful of emotional entanglement or whether it's simply, uhm, a typical astrologer would say, this is a sign of love delayed. It's the person who gets theirs, but it's cooler and it's later in life.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because they're not necessarily willing to just bite into something.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's dad, that's the heavyweight, that's the authority, that's responsibility, that's discipline, it's connecting that with the moon, that's the show that you put on, and even though your moon is in Leo and it feels like you can put on that show or reflect Sam's show, there's a part of you


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sometimes would rather choose to burn cooler for the better act than just to burn hot and then have it be a


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Also, I mean, there's a, there's, there's, yeah, yeah. I mean, look, I also think that your, that your, that your chart has a very high level.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] of imagination to the point of that sometimes you may not know the difference between what's imagined and what's real.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A very high degree of creativity, of imagination, of dreams, of fantasy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, your fantasy, uhm, your fantasy world would, would make, uhm, most people


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And yet the other piece of this is that there's also a bit of genius tied to all of that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, it's unquestionably, you're, you're a smart, smart, intellectually smart guy. And in some ways your emotional world pays a price because you're intellectually intelligent.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So smart that it's so intense for people that it heats things up too much too fast.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Then the appearance of how fast you move around in the outer world or how it looks like it and, and that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's a part of that whole thing that a cover for


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] For your sense of you haven't found or haven't gotten to the place where you think you could be, should be, should have been, need to be, what you fill in the blank. I don't know how that works unless we had a whole podcast about this like a week ago. Yeah, well, I wasn't there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right on the money. Anyhow, uhm, and, you know, timing wise, uhm, eh, yeaah, you know, oof.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So again, here we have your chart in the center.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Here's still this, you know, lineup of Mars, the feisty Gemini, uhm, you know, kind of ready to do, you know, uh, verbal sparring, uhm, and when you do, it's like, probably anyone who engages you on that wishes they didn't, uhm.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, but, and here's the, this more serious in, in, in love. Uh, what's interesting is, is that over the past, um, weeks, um, maybe even month or so, let's actually do this a week at a time. I'm looking here at Jupiter in the sky, um, over.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Was actually lining up with your Saturn, maybe bringing you an opportunity that, that you couldn't take or weren't ready for, or maybe just something that just seemed like something that you really wanted to do and, and, and by the, um.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, that worked on some level. This might not have been a bad period for you, this period of, you know, May into June on some level coming.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Obviously, uhm, you know, coming into your birthday.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, which we have also just moved through.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, now the other thing though that I would note here, uhm, is unlike looking at Sam's chart where Saturn was the main culprit of what was going on, you know, there was a bit of a Saturn junction actually right around


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There, let's just see where this went to. Hold on one second. Uhm, yeah, no, we're, we're, we're looking at...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right around Zoom. Right around the beginning of February of this year.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] End of January, beginning of February, there may have been a little bit of a speed bump


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That may have had to do with you coming on too much, too hard, too strong, having some sort of dis- something with someone that involved either a separation or a something wasn't working, something this probably had to do with something at home, family, mom, uh, woman, relationship.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, in a way, you're, I mean, in a larger scenario, you're at a period of time where it's almost like your forward movement in life in general, uhm, is


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is and has been, uhm, a bit foggy. It's, it's almost like, like you can use your imagination and create- I'm on a podcast.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, but there, but there's something here about, about your future being a little bit cloudy for you and I don't think that this is a


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Short term thing, I think this is something that, you know, will take a year or two kind of to really resolve and that's okay. It says you may not have the, the clarity.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] About where you're going in life and what you want to do, uh, for a while and, and there's nothing wrong with that. I mean, other than it might make you crazy because you think you should know what the hell you want to do or where you want to go.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I think that that's, that this is a time, I think, if you can, to spend more time in the realm of, you know, imagination, dreams, creativity, than trying to actually accomplish what you think you need to or want to accomplish in the outer world.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like early 2000, uh, late 2001, 2002. So you're like three, four years old, I guess. Right.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Saturn, I mean in a way you were born into an environment where even though there wasn't a divorce, there probably, there might not have been a lot of warmth expressed between your parents.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was not a, it wasn't gonna work. Yeah. But by, but by, by, by the time, let me just go back here a little bit. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But by,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] By your birthday, 98, 99, 2000, 2001, by your third birthday, shit was already cooking.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, I mean the divorce may not have actually happened.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But, but, but there was already, you know, kind of held back communication, it was cold, uhm, and, and it really wasn't until, uhm, well, 2002 and even later in 2002,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When everything went down but that whole period of time was Saturn moving through this area of your chart


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But in some way, this period of time of going 2001 to 2002, you know, three to four, eight, you know, in some ways that period of time for you is like a,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Pulling in and getting serious and, and in some way learning that you have to fend for yourself. I mean, how do you do that as a three, four year old?


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[Assistant] You know, you do whatever it means. There was something here that was like a hard, um, lesson. Um, and then it really took until Saturn moved around. Now we're looking at.


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[Assistant] 2028, so we're looking at age 10, but let's zoom in on that a little bit. We're looking at...


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[Assistant] Here we go. So we're looking at, uhm,


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[Assistant] 2006, it's like almost, it didn't really happen. That's eight. And then by 2007, it's really like the summer of 2007. So like you're, you, you, you, you've turned nine.


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[Assistant] And there is either a change at home or a change of parental dynamic. Something happens around age nine that's more internalized, more, you know, more emotional. Um, but I think it's an important piece also.


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[Assistant] Uhm, and there's a bit of, you know, kind of, you know, rock and roll through this whole, you know, through these years. It's just like, uhm, I mean, we could even go back to


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[Assistant] Geez, the 2002 period, oh we talk, I mean, that whole period, it was emotionally unstable. The world you were living in was not.


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[Assistant] As stable, which I think now goes back to, you know, the tentativeness, the


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[Assistant] You know, um, uh, of, of, of being in, uh, an emotionally vulnerable situation goes back to very early childhood. And even though you couldn't put words around it, you know, in, in some ways, you know, you carry some of those, you know, um, uh, wounds or feelings from that period of time that make you not sure about the whole damn thing. And that's understandable.


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[Assistant] Anyhow, that's it. Is this, uh, is this- That was-


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[Assistant] Well, and again, from an evolutionary standpoint, an astrologer would look at this chart and say, it's not like you, it's not like you can't get love.


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[Assistant] It's that part of the reason for this lifetime for you being here is to confront those things that have


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[Assistant] That have haunted you early in life or in past or past lives, if you believe in that, whatever, I don't care. But there's something about this presents you with an opportunity of digging into this stuff and working with it so that in fact you do get to get what you want or need.


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[Assistant] But it, but it may not come as quickly or as simply as it appears to and I'm going to say appears to rather than saying as it does as it appears to for some other people.


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[Assistant] No, actually, actually Sam, going back to your chart just for a quick moment, you were born actually with Venus.


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[Assistant] In Virgo, very close to Mercury, in between Mercury and Mars, then you see that little piece of an RX. Venus was retrograde when you were born, which means that, that Venus is even louder than it is normally, which sometimes makes it more difficult to express or to find.


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[Assistant] And, and although Mercury intellect communication is very at home in Virgo, Venus is not.


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[Assistant] Because Venus in Virgo is very picky. It's very, um, it has its list and everything has to conform to being right. And there's a lot of passion and intensity, but it's hard to find a way to find the exact


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[Assistant] Time, place, person, whatever for it to zap and express, but I would definitely not, not call you, uh, loveless in any sense of that word, but I would say that your Venus is, is, is a bit more, it's more complicated to try to find a way to, to express it. And part of what it does.


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[Assistant] Is it connects up with the Mercury and Mars, which is almost like


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[Assistant] It's easier for you to throw words around things and to do, and to, and to


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[Assistant] To be a guy, to do things, to take action, to make something happen, then it is for you to actually, you know, express the, the, or to connect with the feelings themselves.


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[Assistant] Uhm, but no, certainly not loveless and I would also say for you that for you to love.


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[Assistant] Something, not only something, someone, whether it's, um, wife, children, boyfriend, I don't give a shit, whatever it is.


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[Assistant] That person or that thing has to meet a very high level of standard and in some way it has to be, it has to be able to meet you on your level of weirdness. There's something about


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[Assistant] No, no, no, there's different ways of, of looking at the data and you know, and no, every house has a level of importance without going too technical. We astrologers would look at what sign is in that particular house.


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[Assistant] Um, you know, like, um, uh, like your seventh house of relationships, um, has the sign of Pisces on it.


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[Assistant] And that would then tell me to go to Jupiter and to Neptune who are the two planets that are associated with that sign to begin to unfold it. But no, it does not mean that there's no emphasis. However, when there are a bunch of planets like here in the sign of children and creativity,


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[Assistant] Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, help an old guy from another generation. When you say Chad, all I can think of is hanging Chad's on a voting, uh, you know.


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[Assistant] Alright, so we're looking at Brian's chart now, and uhm, I often teach my students to, when you look at a new chart for the first time, where does your eyes go? What's the first thing you see?


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[Assistant] There, I actually jumped out, I saw four things like, screaming at me at the same time.


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[Assistant] The first thing that I saw was I saw five planets or four planets and the north node of the moon, which is a point at which the moon's orbit around the earth intersects the earth's orbit around the sun. It's a very important astrological point, but Venus, Jupiter,


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[Assistant] The nodal axis, the lunar nodes, the moon.


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[Assistant] One sign and if this birth time is accurate, then then this is also your ascendant or rising sign or horizon, which doesn't suggest one dimensionality.


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[Assistant] Does suggest an emphasis in that Scorpio realm, even though if someone asked Brian and he felt like playing, he would say, I'm a Virgo. Well, you are a Virgo, but you're actually in some ways more Scorpionic than Virgo in, and I'll explain what that means in, in a moment.


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[Assistant] Uhm, that's, so one thing I noticed was just this, this, uhm, cluster. Uhm, I think the technical word is clusterfuck, but cluster is good enough. Alright. Uhm, of Scorpio energy. The second thing I noticed was that


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[Assistant] The sun, whenever the sun or moon are lined up closely with anything else, that is more important than other things. The moon in your chart in Scorpio.


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[Assistant] Is lined up very closely, just a couple of degrees away from Pluto.


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[Assistant] And, and, and, um, Poob all of a sudden takes a second level position in emotional intensity that goes, I think, even though Poob may wear it closer to the surface with his words, I think that Brian has a much higher level.


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[Assistant] The sun is lined up with this special K.


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[Assistant] Which is actually a symbol for Chiron and Chiron is an intriguing thing because it was discovered in 1977 and it was immediately determined to be a planet. And then they said, Nope, it's an asteroid. Nope. It can't be an asteroid because it's outside of the orbit of Saturn.


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[Assistant] Okay, maybe it's a comet. Nope, it's in a regular orbit and it created a new class of things going around the sun that astronomers call centaurs. And they call them centaurs. What's that?


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[Assistant] Yeaah. And the centaurs were basically half horse half human.


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[Assistant] Brilliant teacher and healer.


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[Assistant] And, and, and, and Chiron was wounded and was considered to be on his deathbed.


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[Assistant] And the gods, the Olympian gods took mercy on Chiron because he was such a brilliant healer and teacher. He healed some of the Greek, you know, major figures in Greek mythology. He was, he was Hercules' teacher. He was Asclepius' teacher.


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[Assistant] And so they took mercy on him and they granted him immortality.


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[Assistant] So Chiron turns out to be that part of each and every one of us humans that has some wound from early in our life.


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[Assistant] That no amount of sex, drugs, rock and roll, psychotherapy, psychedelics, meditation, yoga, love, it's not gonna, it's not gonna make it go away. It might make it manageable, but it's that part of every one of us that has what astrologers call the wounded healing.


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[Assistant] It's the how do I fix others, how do I help others, how do I fix it in others so they don't have to feel the pain that I somehow feel inside. And so, Chiron, in your chart,


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[Assistant] Is, is an important player because it's part of your story. It's lined up with your son and it's also harmoniously connected. That's this thick blue line to Mars in cancer and Mars again is the planet of assertion and direction and aggression. But in.


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[Assistant] Traditional astrology, Mars in Cancer is kind of like a bad deal. Why?


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[Assistant] Because cancer is the sign of, of, of nurturing.


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[Assistant] Cancer is the sign of caring, cancer is the sign of of of mothering.


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[Assistant] And in a patriarchy where guys have to be tough and have to rape and pillage and conquer third world nations, cancer is not necessarily a great place.


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[Assistant] However, that's just an old patriarchal bias, because Mars in Cancer


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[Assistant] Is probably better than any other sign at defending.


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[Assistant] You know, it, that, that's what it's all about because there's a part of that Mars in cancer is afraid of being washed away by the tides and therefore it establishes very strong boundaries. And now we come to the other thing that I said, when I saw the chart, I saw these things that jumped out at me or that screamed at me. And that is that Mars in cancer tied by a blue line to Saturn in Pisces.


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[Assistant] Tied by blue lines to all these planets in Scorpio create an equilateral triangle in the sky.


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[Assistant] And Jung based his entire psychology, he called it the psychology of four types.


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[Assistant] Fire action intuition. A fire doesn't think about what it's going to burn next. It just does it. It knows. Fire. Earth is practical. Air is logical thinking. The Aquarius Gemini is, is, is logical thinking. The Leo is fire.


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[Assistant] Uhm, and the three water signs are cancer, Scorpio,


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[Assistant] And Pisces and in Brian's chart, there's a grand water trine.


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[Assistant] Because it's like, well it's like, this just works. It's like super conductive, you know, energy just running around in a circle. That's the good news. From a modern standpoint, the downside of it.


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[Assistant] The downside of it is that the patterns work so well, it's sometimes difficult to break out of one's patterns.


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[Assistant] And here, because it's water signs, it's emotional patterns. This is the part of your chart, your life, Brian, that says it doesn't matter how awesome or how fucked up things are. You can go home, you can go to your room and close your eyes and turn on your emotional closed circuit TV and it's yours. It works. It's familiar. You know it. You're okay.


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[Assistant] Again, this does make a sense of solidity and completeness, but with all those planets in Scorpio, I would imagine that most people don't have a clue as to a


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[Assistant] What you're feeling, or be, who the fuck you really are.


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[Assistant] Because, because that water sign, Grand Trine especially, Scorpio gains its power by not putting everything out in the open.


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[Assistant] Scorpio is about the hidden part of the cycle. Scorpio, it relates to, uhm, to, to the planet Mars, the assertor-aggressor, but it also relates to Pluto, the planet of death and transformation.


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[Assistant] So when we're talking about hidden shit like death and sex and taxes and money and power and ultimate fear and whatever, those are the things that Scorpio thrives on and yet because this is all tied up into this


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[Assistant] Grand triangle, you know, for you, it's okay. It works and you can even make it look good, but it doesn't mean that anyone actually really sees it all unless you feel safe enough. And there are people, there may be people, there may be people in the past, present or future where.


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[Assistant] You feel safe enough to untangle or unfold some of that in yourself and with them and that's when the real magic begins to unfold and that you know if it doesn't happen regularly. It happens or it will happen or it can happen but i would say just looking at your chart.


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[Assistant] Uhm, you know, that your chart is intensely inner, inner driven, emotional, and yet


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[Assistant] Your Mercury in Libra, the people pleasing, easygoing sign gives you a way in order to interact with others that keeps all that other stuff hidden. And then we have this very powerful alignment of Chiron and the sun, which is more about the intellectual


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[Assistant] There's a thing in Chinese medicine, you know, like where acupuncture comes from, that basically says joy and grief are on the exact same axis.


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[Assistant] And you only get as much joy as you can experience grief.


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[Assistant] And I think that some of Brian's chart, not to go too heavy, too deep, too fast,


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[Assistant] Is about the grief that you have that you know you have, but you don't let yourself express or that you don't express outward, which at the same time then prevents you from having the joy that is there for you. And I would say this is not a life sentence.


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[Assistant] This is just a starting point and at some point in time some shit will happen that will basically break that grief open and then you'll get a chance to experience the joy that you may feel like you've been cheated out of or that you can't get to or you look at other people


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[Assistant] And go, I'm not going there because I know what comes after joy. Grief.


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[Assistant] You know, and I'd rather just vibe and be in the present and just stay cool with it all.


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[Assistant] But that game only goes so, you can only uplevel that game so far.


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[Assistant] And uhm, and, and yet it's a very powerful game. And it's a game, and as a game, I'm not judging it as a, everything's a game. When we, before we went live, I think, I said, you know, astrology is a game.


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[Assistant] It's just, it's a game that we play in the cosmos because it's the only game we get to play.


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[Assistant] And the more we know about our own internal dynamic, whether we do it through astrology or whether we do it through therapy or whether we do it through meditation and yoga, whether we do it through Jesus Christ, I don't recommend that one, but whatever it is that you do it through.


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[Assistant] You know, if you get to uplevel your game. Or, out of fear, we get to go and have to play lower level games again and again and again. But it's a game. It's a video game that just seems to be real.


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[Assistant] I can tell you who some of the worst humans I've met were, but a chart in itself.


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[Assistant] Can be hard or easy, or let's say difficult or easy.


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[Assistant] But in no way is it an indication of what we can do with it. It's not about the chart that, you know, it's been said that you're walking down the street one day.


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[Assistant] And you're whistling and it's beautiful out and you're having a really suns up and, and you're taking these big long strides and you see these couple of guys on a, on a second, third story next to you doing some work on the bricks on the top of the building. And as you step forward, one of them knocks a brick off and it lands on your foot and it breaks your foot.


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[Assistant] And all of a sudden you're in pain, oh fuck, it hurts like shit in your, aah, then you look up and they don't even realize they've knocked a brick over and meanwhile they've broken your foot.


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[Assistant] Then you're yelling at them now, you guys pay attention, you know, ah, and they don't hear you. They're just having a lot of fun. And now you're really pissed and you take about five steps backwards. So you get a better angle and now you can yell at them and really yell at them. And as you do, a truck comes down the street and kills you runs you over fate or free will.


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[Assistant] In other words, we can have the easiest fucking chart in the world and just spend the entire life.


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[Assistant] You know, sitting on the couch drinking beer and die of alcohol poisoning and just have done nothing with the absolute easiest chart in the world.


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[Assistant] Or we can have the most difficult chart and it can drive us to become, you know, a Nobel prize winner in physics or some damn thing because we're so driven to do something. So there's no good or bad, although there are a lot of astro, most astrologers.


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[Assistant] You know, we'd say, oh, this is bad. This is good. And there's a whole traditional Greek oriented astrology, which I think leans on that more. But in modern terms.


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[Assistant] Yeah, the charts are not better or worse. They're just, you know, here's the starting point. What are you going to do with it?


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[Assistant] There's a wonderful poet, I don't know if you know the poet Mary Oliver, who's just a brilliant poet.


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[Assistant] And uhm, and in one of her poems, you know, it's this description of the beauty of this swan taking off at night, and it's just like,


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[Assistant] You know, and the last line of the poem is, you know, you know, it's like, you know, have you seen it? Have you seen the magnificence of this swan taking off? Have you seen it spread? It's just all, and then the last line of the poem is, so what will you do with your precious life?


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[Assistant] You know, it's just like, uh, you know, it's like, we all have a shot at something.


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[Assistant] So uhm, yeah, and the thing about timing in Brian's chart is I would look for when Saturn moves through.


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[Assistant] Uhm, fixed signs. Why? Because Scorpio is a fixed sign. So when did Scorpio move through, I'm sorry, when did Saturn, let's go back to the double chart here so, so that Brian doesn't feel cheated. Uhm. Double chart.


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[Assistant] Well, you know, here you are in the middle. This chart has more on it than I want. Hold on one second. Let me just clean this up. Displayed points. And let's go back to something here.


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[Assistant] So here's, uhm, uhm, Brian's chart. Uhm, right now, Saturn in the sky has gone around almost one time.


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[Assistant] And you can see how it's at seven degrees of Pisces, but Brian was born with Saturn at eight degrees of Pisces. Saturn has gone around three hundred and.


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[Assistant] It's one degree away from completing, but here's the fucker. And that is that if we moved Saturn here a week at a time, Saturn is just at that point where it begins to turn retrograde and it begins to back up. There it is at six, five, four. So Saturn in the sky, it's almost like.


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[Assistant] This is gonna sound like a worst nightmare, but it's really not. It's really a very, it's a really upside to this. It's almost like having sex and not being able to cum.


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[Assistant] Brian's at a point in his life, no bear with me here, no bear with me here. Brian's at a point in his life where this is an eye of the needle that has to do with growing up, taking responsibility, making decisions about being who you want to be.


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[Assistant] If you you if you understand that saturn will actually be back in lineup where it is when where was when you were born by early next year january february next year.


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[Assistant] What this means, Brian, and this is really important, what this means is that between now and next February, this is the time when you should be thinking about shit.


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[Assistant] You don't have to necessarily put a whole lot into motion, but maybe even little bits, but by next February, you're going to have to make some decisions.


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[Assistant] And those decisions that you make, if you don't know how to pull the sails up on your ship, then you don't know how to sail during a storm and you're going to be trying to go to the books and try to figure out how the fuck to do that. It's going to be too late. Now is the time for you to be doing some of that thinking and some of that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, deconstructing of what's working in your life. What's not working? What, what, where do, who am I now? What do I want to be? How do I want to get there? What do I want to be in life when I'm 60 years old? And of course, there's no answer to that. First, it'll just be a blank.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But the more time that you can spend these next few months imagining something in your life at age 55, 60, 65, as you get closer to this Saturn return period, you know, in early 2024,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Then the trick is to go to your imagination and have yourself in the future call you on the God phone. We're making it up.


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[Assistant] And you pick up the phone and the phone voice on the other end goes, Hey Brian, it's me at age 60, you. Then you go, all right, tell me what I need to know. What do I need to do now to get to a place in life where I want to be when I'm in thir- because we don't think about this shit in our, you know, teens and our twenties, but as we approach that


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[Assistant] So that's the most important thing I think you got going in your life right now, procrastination or not.


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[Assistant] If you wait until 2024 to begin to think about some of this shit, it'll be too fucking late. And that doesn't mean it'll kill you, although it does kill, you know, the famous 27 club is basically, you know, whether it's Jim Morrison, Janis Joplin, you know, John Belushi.


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[Assistant] You know, all those people who, you know, uh, Kurt Cobain, they're people who couldn't get the responsible part of their lives together and that Saturn return was so threatening that they took an easy way out. It's not like that happens a lot.


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[Assistant] It happens in extreme, extreme, extreme cases and yet that's a lesson.


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[Assistant] Because you're coming into this period of time where you got some serious shit to do and the more you do sooner, the easier it's going to be when you actually get to that period of time.


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[Assistant] I want to, just before we call this part quits, I want to back this up because I'm wondering, alright, what the hell happened in your life when Saturn was moving through Scorpio, lining up


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] With all of this powerful intense volatile deep inner core of a volcano emotional energy that isn't expressed and lays under the surface but is really passionate and powerful. What was going on then? So.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We're backing this up and we get to the point where Saturn


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[Assistant] Geez, almost in 2012, you were, so that, that's, uh, 940414. So at 18, it was like, it almost, almost, almost happened, but later it's still your 18th. No. Yeah. Turning 18.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Um, cause you turned 18 in 2012, right? Yeah.


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[Assistant] Around your 18th birthday is when the shit began to get serious, but it may have taken a bit longer.


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[Assistant] Until Saturn actually lined up with your moon, but through that whole period of time of 1819 and until Saturn reached the, where the moon was when you were born, um,


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[Assistant] Which is where looking at late winter early spring of twenty fourteen so we're really talking about nineteen. Yeah we're talking about nineteen turning twenty.


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[Assistant] So that is so late in your nineteenth year and on into the beginning of your twentieth year. Yeah all the way through.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, all the way through, um, your, your birthday and then some of turning 20. That would have been a really intense time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When, in fact, there may have been some really difficult, you know, changes on the home front, emotional front, relationship with mom, relationship with women, relationship with your own feelings, and that would have been all the way through, you know, that


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I just want to take a real quick stop when Saturn was lining up with your son and Chiron.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, and then a little bit after actually 16, let's see, there's your 14th birthday is right there. Yeah, so it really would have been holidays between your 14th birthday and that holiday season.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And that would have been the beginning of it and it wouldn't have played through until the summer.


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[Assistant] And so again, this may have been, you know, some difficult stuff and it may have been at the home, on the home front, it may have been in how you do whatever you want to do in the outer world and something just being more difficult, the whole situation of kind of pulling in, getting serious of running up against walls. Um, and again, that's, that's it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, actually, actually at a party when people ask me my stuff, I tell them I'm a vegetarious with my moon in crises and my finger in Uranus and Venus rising.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] All right. So the, the truth of the matter is that one of the things we didn't focus on only cause I just wanted to keep it, you know, within grasp, um, is the rising sign. I think I might've mentioned it or taken it into consideration. Um, but the rising sign is how you seem to the outer world. And I have Gemini rising.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so I, I like to tell people that, yeah, I'm smart.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I seem smarter and I seem more clever than I really am because I have Gemini rising.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's a great Ken, you know Ken Kesey, the guy who wrote One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest and, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Brilliant writer, and one of his books he has this line, one of the characters says, Ken is warning him saying, look, we're going to this bar.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But it's not just any normal bar. It's a bar where everyone that you'll meet tonight, uhm, is either ex-CIA or ex-nuclear physicist. They've, they've all done their acid. They're, these are like, these are all cosmic kind of guys. And the guy says back to him, it's okay, Ken, I can maybe with the best of them. That's a Gemini line. And.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I have Gemini Rising. I can maybe be with the best of them. That's why when Sam invited me, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Unlike Leo, Leo's have the fire and they sustain it. It's like, I mean, Leo's are loyal. Leo's burn. Leo's, it's like the sun. The sun relates to Leo. It's, it's there. Whether we can see it or not, it's always there. Aries,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is more Marzi. It's hot when it's hot and then it's not.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, it's the fire starter. It's spring. Everything is really cool and then it's done, you know. And so I am in Aries and then I have a Cancer Moon, which kind of like, uhm, like Brian's Mars in Cancer.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, Cancer Moon, you know, traditionally, if you're a guy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You don't want anything in cancer because it's going to make you not necessarily want to go out and rape and pillage and


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And we do what a psychologist calls reaction formation.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm so compassionate, I'm gonna kill every fucking one because I don't want anyone to know that I'm a softie.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But my moon is in cancer and I tell my astrologer friends who know me,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I say, with my chart, if I didn't have a moon and cancer, I'd be a real asshole. And I'm not. I'm actually, you know, I'm a nice guy. Awesome.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, so, so Sam's rising is Virgo and although I didn't, I didn't say that, I didn't say it for the reason that if Sam was born at 820, he would have had Leo rising. But I talked about the Leo and the Virgo.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In his chart because Virgo being the other planet of Mercury and his, so I talked about the Leo and Virgo energy without labeling it as a rising, uh, without knowing Sam's exact time of birth. We don't know whether he has Leo or Virgo rising.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I kinda think he might have the Leo rising, but, but I don't know because I can see both of those energies.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In his chart and in the interactions with, with him. And, um, and then, um, uh, poob.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Has Libra rising and again, although I didn't say it specifically, it was the part that I said about being able to be nice about the part of, uh, of, of, of being likable with your cleverness, even though there's a bit more anger or rage or fire that sits behind it. Your, your Libra rising kind of turns you into someone who holds that energy back because they,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then Brian has the Scorpio, um, rising with all the other planets in Scorpio 2. So that's the short version. And again, yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So here's the deal, and you are a super Scorpio, meaning you got the moon and a whole bunch of planets end rising in Scorpio. And Scorpio, if you think of the Scorpion,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] All the, all the signs of the zodiac have animal totems. You know, the Leo, the lion roars and beats its chest and is the king of the jungle. That's the lion.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Gemini is the twins, there's always interaction going on between communication.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, between Castor and Pollux, the twin stars. Scorpio is the Scorpion.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Which basically is ruled by its tail. Okay, now here's the thing. Scorpion is of the twelve signs, the most complicated sign.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's the sign, it's the only sign that has three different animal totems representing it because Scorpio is about transformation. Although it's the Scorpion, um, Scorpio is also represented by the Phoenix, which is the


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Mythical bird that rises from the ashes of the runes of destruction.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And here the key words are ashes. Heh. Fire. Ruins. Destruction. Yeah, ashes, ruins, and destruction.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so the Scorpio is about the transformation that occurs as we process the ending, the death of one thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then arise as this magical, mythical, incredible bird, but the scorpion is ruled by its tail. I don't know if you remember the, or if you know the movie, the crying game, it's a, it's an old movie.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, it was very, there was, one of the characters in the movie is, is kind of was before


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright and in it, in it, she tells the story of a frog getting to the edge of a river and meeting a scorpion.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And the frog says, and the scorpion says, hey, I need a ride across the river. Will you carry me across the river? And the frog goes, are you fucking nuts? You know, you're a scorpion. You'll kill me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And the scorpion says, no, I won't kill you. And the frog says, of course you will. That's what you do. And the frog says, and the scorpion says, but if I kill you, then we'll both drown. I don't want to die. And so I won't kill you. And the frog goes, all right, get on.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Now you've done it. You're gonna kill both of us. I mean, don't you know that? Why did you do it? And the scorpion says, it's my nature.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So scorpions nature, I sometimes tell people in my life, especially the scorpions of which I've, scorpios of which I've been close to a few.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I tell them that the most magnificent thing in the Scorpio, being loved by a Scorpio is the singular most magnificent thing in the world. Until the part where they kill you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It, it puts all of its poison, buries it, and it puts it in its tail, and then it doesn't, it doesn't kill only to feed, it kills out of fear. That tail wax. I mean, it, and, and so that's the scorpion, that's the nature of the scorpion.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] However, as the scorpion learns to control its tail,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Think of it as root chakra, as primal, you know, primal energy, sex, procreation, passion. As the scorpion learns to hold its energy and not kill out of fear, it transforms into the eagle, which becomes


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And when it does, it comes in, it grabs that fish, but it doesn't kill out of fear, it only kills for food. Hang on one second. In the third incarnation, the Scorpio becomes the...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The Mahatma Gandhi type of person that says, I won't ever kill anything. Like a dove. It becomes the dove.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so Scorpio, unlike any other sign, is about the power of passion and what happens when we learn how to engage and transform that passion, whether it's fear into love, uhm, or, or, or hate into acceptance or whatever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, and, and it's, it's said, I mean, there's a thing that astrologers just all know. If you go to a group of people and someone goes, Hey, what's your sign? And you go, I go, I'm, I'm, I'm a vegetarist. What's your sign? And someone goes, I, I'm a this, I'm a that. And then someone says, I ain't telling. I go, Oh, you're the Scorpio.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They derive power from what other people don't know. There's a sense of holding the energy in and being secretive.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But you're not a Scorpio. You're a Virgo. And that Virgo is more intellectually precise. It's more about discrimination. It's more about, it's more about information. Yet you feel like, you feel like a Scorpio.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You have the intensity and the emotional power of the Scorpio, and you come off like a Scorpio. Other people see that, that's your ascendant, but inside, you're a Virgo.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Versus the Virgo intellect is the Virgo is not interested in being smart. It's interested in applying what it knows to be useful, to be successful, to do something in the real world. Virgo is an earth sign. It's ultimately practical.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But it's practical based upon what it learns, what it knows.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Youtube, Rick Levine Astrologer, that's good enough.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, I would imagine that in, in your audience, there will be people who are totally interested and fascinated. And yet most of my work, I mean, I, I actually wrote, I don't have one within reach. I wrote eight years of mass market books for Barnes and Noble. That was your astrology guide for the year ahead.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] For the years 2006, seven, eight, nine, 10, 11, 12, 13. I did it for eight years. There were 150,000 word books for each of the 12 signs.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it was exhausting. I wrote a daily horoscope column for 21 years that had 10 to 15 million readers a day. It was the horoscope column on Google when they were doing content.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was the horoscope column on Huffington Post, AOL, Yahoo, LA Times. I've done the popular astrology.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] These days I'm mostly focusing on teaching.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] People astrology and in fact, if anyone wants to learn more about astrology, my fundamentals of astrology course.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is available through Astrology Hub, that's all one word, astrologyhub.com, astrologyhub.com. And I have a number of courses and an introductory fundamentals of astrology course there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, here's a version of this that you won't hear from anyone. Except me. We. Me. You guys. We. Are.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Self-aware animated crystals that have been grown in a supersaturated solution of protein amniotic fluids.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And we are crystalline in structure, very complex.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But crystalline nonetheless, and we're animated and self-aware.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What do crystals have to do with anything? When I look at a chart, you saw all those colored lines in the middle.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That was just the tip of the iceberg of how I can take and change the power on my microscope horoscope.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And look at different crystalline structures because everything in the universe that appears into the three dimensional world or even in our metaphysical, mental, you know, intellectual, emotional, spiritual world is all based upon geometry. We think geometrically.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know our brain and the structures of what fires and neurons in our brain the patterns that create language are geometric and so crystals.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Are energetic and you take a crystal like this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Every fucking radio and computer in the world has a slice of either quartz or gallium or silicon in it that's basically a crystal wafer. And and and and quartz crystals in particular.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Have what they call a piezoelectric effect. What does that mean? It means if I take two courts, this is a court sphere and this is, if I do this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That creates an electrical charge. It's called a piezoelectric effect. And in fact,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The original radios that were invented not by marconi but by nikola tesla who was posthumously granted the patent on wireless radio that. The crystal radio requires.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A crystal in order to make that reception happen because before we created, uh, diodes, which, you know, like semiconductors, the only way to get that dielectric semiconductor property was by using a quartz crystal because electricity can pass through it one way and not the other.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so crystals are absolutely inherently important and they have vibratory qualities and properties just like we do and in fact,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I would suggest that the reason why astrology works


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is that we are in effect like bio radios that are tuned to harmonic high frequency harmonic.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because they're particles, when we look at them, we see them as a particle.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But when we're not looking at them, they propagate the moon 13 cycles a year, Saturn three cycles a century, Pluto four cycles of millennium. They're, they're, you know, do any of you do music? Brian does. He won't say he does, but he does.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, cycles. A below middle C is 220 cycles every second. We don't see them, but we can hear them with our ear.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You go an octave higher and it's 220 times 2, it's 440 cycles a second for the next A. We can hear rhythms at cycles per second.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] From down around 30, 40, 50 cycles a second all the way up to 20, 30,000 cycles a second. The planets are moving at one cycle every 248 years for Pluto. We don't hear it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But we're somehow attuned to it. Our crystals are attuned to the higher frequencies. Just like when you play a note, the difference between hearing a note on a tuba and a bass fiddle


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The same note is going to sound different because of the harmonics and we are, and astrology is ultimately a study of vibrational harmonics. And that's why crystals are important.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I am now working on a book that I published, I self-published 30 years ago.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A collection of essays. I printed a thousand copies. I have about three left. The rest are, are gone. Um, and, um, and, and the book was called quantum astrology essays on the physics of metaphysics.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And after 30 years, I've resurrected that book and I'm writing the real book called quantum astrology because even in quantum physics, things are particle waves. You know, there's no such thing as an electron particle.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's only a particle or light is only a photon when we go to measure it, but it travels like a wave. Ha! Just like planets. As above, so below. The in and the out are the same.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hey, I'll tell you one of my highest moments as a parent. I have an awesome daughter, uh, 45 years old and just an amazing character. And I gained street cred with her and her whole network of beings about maybe 15, 20 years ago.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, we have a local magazine called The Stranger. It's our local alternative crazy shit, you know, weekly.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And uhm, and there's a guy who writes a column, I don't know if he still does, but wrote a column in that called, uhm, eh, the, the column was called, uhm, Party Guy, Party Crasher.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And every week he would write a column about some party that happened in Seattle that he either was invited to or crashed.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I had a friend who had a party every year for maybe about five or six years that would be, um, a party that was in the autumn, not Halloween. And basically everyone had to come to the party and bring something from their past year that they were done with, that they wanted out of their fucking life.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And when you arrived at the party, you had a picture taken with a Polaroid camera that was posted on a wall on a piece of paper. And through the night, people who met you would write cool things about you on your picture.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And at the tail end of the party, there was a bit of a ceremony in this rather large backyard that was done around an open fire.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I was master of ceremonies every year for this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I do have a couple of like long staffs that make me look like Wizard Lee. And I would do this ceremony that would conjure up the energy and then have each person come one at a time and drop their thing they wanted to get rid of into this blazing fire and move on.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, so party guy or party crasher that week.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Took, it was probably about 10 years ago, had, in the column had a picture of me in my total wizard's garb holding the staff over the fire. And the caption simply said,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then the second one happened and they were like, We stopped, we stopped, I try to fight this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, alright, here's my ear cable. Here you go.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, we are actually- Ever at emojis? Where the fuck is- Okay, now I won't scroll. There you go. There you go. Can you- What? Okay, that's fair, right? Is that fair? Is that a fair amount of- Okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Looks good. So this tier list is, uh, curses. Curse is tier list, alright? You gotta, you gotta, here's a curse. This is a curse.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, they're all fucking horrible scenarios, and then you gotta pick how much, you gotta, at least you gotta bargain, you gotta be honest with yourself, what's the lowest amount you would take? For this fucking thing, right? Oh wait, Han, let me open this up bigger.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Exactly, exactly. What's the black guy pointing at the camera? What curse word is that? You want that one to be the first one? Yea. This one's actually, this is the one that I did with you and Bizzle one night, and uh, I don't think who was there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, kinda, yeaah. It's just an excuse to make you, you know, see how much you would debase yourself, I guess. Okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, let's see, so this one is, if you want this one to be, okay, this is the one, you're very familiar with this. Uh, it's every time you fart, I got these written down because they're fucking like schizophrenic shit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, every time you fart, you can't control what you fart anymore. And every time you fart, a black guy appears out of nowhere, points at you, and says, and he goes, hey, yo, this motherfucker farted, and he like hypes up a whole crowd, and everyone laughs at you. That's, that's next to hell.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was supposed to be this n-word farted, but I can't say that. Yeah. Obviously. But he can. I drew my inspiration from- So do it in his voice. Like say- wait, he was saying- Alright, let me get voice AI, yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, no, no, this is a one time payment from a fucking demon. No, I would prefer kind of monthly installments. Okay, let me redo the tier list. I prefer property.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He respawns. He's like magically appearing, right? Does the body disappear? He fucking gets shot in the head, and then he just lays there like a dead guy, and then when you're in prison he'll just show up again. And he'll show up again in court, dude. Where's the body?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Apparently he, you know, hurt her, there's like, visible marks.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's got, it's got some stinkers, like that fucking weird incest baby video, like that one was fucking weird. It wasn't even funny. I hated that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And his clones will show up too. Does he ever hang out afterwards? No, he disappears after the crowd-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So wait, you're telling me if you had like a million, if you had like a million dollar, if you had like enough to retire some, you would stop YouTube?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm assuming there's gonna be one of these that's harmed. This one's a softball. This is a softball. It's just eat a tarantula. You could have it prepared by like anybody in the world. It doesn't matter how.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Maybe like, honestly, honestly, god, 10k to eat a tarantula. Dude, you wouldn't do it


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, it's fucking gross as shit. Well, like yea, like Friday?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'd have to do like this, I'd have to have money to keep myself distracted.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Come on, be honest dude, come on. You have to listen to the top 40s? Top 40, yeah. It's constantly changing. And that's like video games too, if you're playing like Minecraft, it's just playing fucking like Lady Gaga and shit. Okay, higher.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it's my, it's my, uh, crazy radar. No, it, it, um, it was my alarm. It was set to PM for some reason. I don't know why. That's probably why I didn't wake up today. All right. So a hundred million.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] She couldn't even fucking like, dude, she couldn't hear or see, like. Listen, I'm not the one, I'm not, I don't get out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know, that guy prob- that guy probably got roped into like a baby.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Which one's the breeder right here? What's the one who's getting sex on the regular, getting his pussy, getting pussy to get slammed in? Get his boy pussy eaten out and yeah, it's, it's, you would be surprised.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're giving it power by getting mad. It's your fault.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it's top 40. That's not that bad though. What's the- 100 million, you're being spoiled. Yeah, what's that next one?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, this one is, oh, I like this one, it's, you can only pay with checks for the rest of your life. Eww.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, the money disappeared. Somebody else has to redeem it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, it's gonna get old after one day. Are you kidding me? You fart like 100 times a day or something.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, he disappears, but if you kill him... You get the body? You get the body, you get the prize. For how long?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, on to the next one. The ZZZ. What's ZZZ? Oh, this one's a bad one for Sam. You sleep forever. No, okay, it's you, every time you go to sleep, it's guaranteed to be 12 hours. And you cannot wake up. Until 12 hours. That is literally how.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And you can stay up, but like sleep deformation really gets to you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You sleep like the fucking dead, you can't wake up either. It's just-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, 10 to 100? 10 to 100? 10 million, if you had 10 million dollars, you could just like, take a bunch of energy drinks or something all day.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, I picked the corgi because you have a corgi, but it's nothing related.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You, you euthanized, you euthanized animals out of kill shelters. Great, for 40 hours a week, you could pick whatever method you wanted to kill them with. But you gotta do 40 hours a week. Gotta put in that time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it's a kill shelter, so these are the rejects.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And you just like, I mean, okay, you could do like, you could do like 20 hour shift.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I do for Ted. You do for Ted? Well yea, cause your idea was great, before it was, I was with you, but after you told me that I could just fucking like, have a good time with a dog and then just, you know, as it's looking at the sunset I just fucking shoot it in the back of the head. Yea.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That and the fact that they're not fucking like herbivores, so they probably taste like shit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This one's a bad one. Okay, this one isn't too bad, but it's also weird. Anytime you're recorded or a picture's taken of you, you look like you have Down syndrome.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's a three foot cock, er, not three foot cock, it's a three foot person's cock.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And also, not included, they will, things like, if you can't drive a car because you're three feet tall, they will like, customize a seat for you. And you don't gotta pay for that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I would be honest, I'd rather be three feet tall than kill dogs for a living, but hey, that's you guys.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like a dollhouse, yeaah. Oh my god, dude, that's fucked up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I hope he's better now, I don't know. Oh, this one's kinda like the check one, it's, you can only do online shopping in Wish.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, that's the exception, just because that's too OP I think.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, this one's a long one, I remember. Uh, it is, okay, so Stuart Little becomes your roommate, but he bullies you. He bullies the shit out of you. Uh, like, if you're eating a meal, he'll just slap it out of you and call you like a slur. It's gonna take him a while to get up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you, if you kill him, you'll only get, you'll get tried, but it's only for killing an animal, so it's not as bad as killing a human.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Next one. Yeaah, next one, jelly beans. Yeaah, next, this, no, that's food, okay, this one's gross. You have to eat five for gummy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You have to eat a package of fruit gushers, but the juice inside is replaced with pus. You can pick what pus it is though.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'd be, I'd be craving it. Yeah, I would be craving it. I didn't think about swallowing them, I forgot they're really tiny. That is really gross though.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, it's a guy, yeah, it's, I couldn't find any picture of you. You fart out of your nose and you sneeze out of your asshole. That's it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, nobody can see, like, you would have a stone cold face, but you hear a sneeze sound. Wait, does poop still go out of your ass though? No, just farts, just farts.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, is it more or less than being tiny?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, yeah, like if you're, you know, you're going in for a kiss and then right in her


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't think, honestly, I don't think you will hit a build in. I think everyone here is pretty frugal. Tell us about this grandma.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, it's not. No, it's, uh, you basically, you sign off, I mean, I feel like you fuckers are so fucked up, you'd probably do it for $2. You basically sign an order that would have everybody in an old age home, every citizen,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] would have a bomb implanted in them and then every time they say bingo their head would explode.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Be realistic. If they saw one fucking head explode, they would probably never say the word again.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So 300. Wait, you could, okay, I'm serious. You could just have a PowerPoint slideshow telling them about why they can't. You just, you listen to it. You have a bomb in you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's not dogs, it's all animals. It's all animals. It's cats too. Cats too. You're every animal thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, what, is that Gaio with big hands? That's a hum- okay, this one's fucked up too, it's a, uh, it's a homonculus that-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That, uh, is always attached to you, but like, you know, it's always with you, it has to be with you. And it, uh, it- How big?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, it's, no, it's like, okay, like, a baby that knows like one or two words, like happy, sad.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That would be hard as fuck to cut. Oh, you just have like a fuckin', like a wise man.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, you kinda, well with that fuckin' turtleneck in the jet, you do look like you'd lead like a feminist podcast or something. Thank you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is a big downstairs room guy with a mustache and a bowl cut.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, you couldn't leave the house. Yeah, for sure.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You'd rather go shoeless than top 40? Yeah, I'd rather do the shoeless thing than top 40. What's top 40? Like, how much is that?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, it was, it's a little more specific, you can only eat one type of food.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, if it, if it, if it was like cheeseburgers, you'd be fine or something. Yeah, you would eat whatever it is. It's got, it's got your fully balanced, it's the whole food pyramid. Or a rock. Yeah, you could eat like rocks.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's prepared differently. It's prepared differently.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It would be, that would be fresh water, that would count as like, just water. Like, fresh water, I guess, tap water, I'll bottle, bottle, and fresh water. But like, salt water would be its own category.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You can live off of sewage. You can live off of sewage.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wait, what if, what happens if I do eat food, I puke? You projectile vomit, so in a survival scenario it's useless, but you could eat like a birthday cake, you just would throw up immediately, but if you just wanted to taste it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is this the first 1 billion dollar one? No. Okay. Is it worse than shoes? No. Or no shoes?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, there you go. Alright, there you go. Okay, 10 mil. I would feel a lot more comfortable with 10 mil.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, this one's not too bad. You just can only own any phones or technology that's like 22 decades old.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I'd be fired, so it'd have to be the dog killer. Ten years from now, you could, you could probably start streaming again.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Let's do it little and fucking beat the shit out of you for your shitty tech.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This one is, uh, it's not too bad, it's, everywhere, anytime you order food or anybody prepares food for you, they always, they always, they always fuck it up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But they'll replace it for free, but you have to at least take a bite out of it first.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If it's too salty, there's like a goddamn pile of salt on it. Yeah, that'd be great for ratings. You'd have to bite it though, you'd have to eat it a little bit, like one bite. You'd have to take a whole bite to get the meat.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, this is a, this is a kill, a kill quota, you have to kill somebody once a month, and you can stack it, so if you kill like, if you shoot up a school, you'd be good for a year or something.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I would, I, you know what I would do, I would open up like a child rapist's anonymous, and then I would have a meeting and then I would just bomb the building. And then you'd be covered for like a year. I'd have like some sort of thing where a bunch of


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, you, you, okay, with, okay, I guess it's fair because you'd be like Batman, but you'd kill them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I fuckin' racked my head over each week with one new scenario, actually.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, this one's actually a little fucked up. You gotta go to the most ghetto ass area ever, you know, inner city. My neighbor, right? Fully crap, fully full of, you know, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I sense I'm gonna get fuckin' shot.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I would, I would, I wouldn't come over prepared. I would hire the fucking guy from like Baby Driver to fucking like be my getaway and I would jump through the window and fucking.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I'm gonna put it up a tier. Free your own morals.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Let's see, what is this? It's however much this Amivo is.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah, well I just wanna see somebody debase themselves. That's all.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like a de-venomed one if they got rid of it?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Couple years. Alexa, how long does a fuckin' tarantula live?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] 80. For once we have the episode right. Cause I'm doing it. That's the episode number. I will change the episode number to be that if that's not what it is. Okay?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, uh, Brian's not here, he's working his normal job. Cause he's a fucking loser. I get the feeling he's about to leave.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is that, uh, the did you know section there? Is that like for something else or is that?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well dude, I'm so used to just watching, sitting silently for nine hours staring into your fucking eyeballs.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, those are all made in anger. I'm actually seething. Okay, well.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That was pretty horrible. That's what I'm doing right now, I've got two light panels directly in my eyeballs.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We're now flipping this interview on its head. Probably Starship Troopers. Starship Troopers. It's a great movie.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's got humor, it's got satire about like, you know, the whole like, imperialist communist stuff, you're fighting space aliens, dudes getting chopped in half.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Couple weeks ago and said that we need to do something different with the podcast and you need to shake up the format. That's why I've been like putting you in like little haunted houses and shit, like cutting you out and doing different things. You want to go back to the, like the whole big frame so we could see every little pixel on your screen. We could do that, Sam.